#also i'm sleep deprived and very behind on requests so this was kind of rushed but i just really felt like posting something here lol

[monta-02]

TW: Noncon, AFAB Whumpee, AMAB Whumper, death threats, guns, failed escape, forced oral sex, grinding, creepy Whumper, humiliation, degradation, tied up

When Whumpee escaped, they tried to stay low. They got a cheap hotel room, and tried not to leave under any circumstances, unless it was absolutely necessary. They kept reminding themself that this wouldn't be forever, just for a few weeks, until the situation calmed down.

It had been barely a week since they escaped, and Whumpee was paranoid. They jumped at every little noise, they couldn't sleep well, and they've barely eaten anything.

They were exhausted, both physically and mentally.

They knew Whumper was searching for them, and Whumpee was terrified of what was going to happen to them if they were caught. Whumper's anger was terrifying, and Whumpee could vividly remember every punishment and torture they've done to them.

Whumper was ruthless and cruel.

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Whumpee ran their hands through their hair, taking deep breaths. Their body was trembling, their nerves frayed, and their thoughts were running a mile a minute. They felt nauseous, and their body was sore from sleeping on a lumpy mattress. It was better than Whumper's though.

Whumpee sighed heavily and stood up, their knees buckling slightly. They stumbled their way into the room, flopping down onto the bed face first, groaning.

Their clothes were all dirty, just a thin towel wrapped around them. They knew they'd have to wash them soon, but going outside even for that terrified them.

They rolled over to their back and stared blankly at the ceiling. Whumpee desperately wanted to sleep, their eyes drooping, but the nightmares prevented them.

Every time they closed their eyes, they were haunted by Whumper.

That's when they heard a knock.

Whumpee froze, their heart hammering in their chest. They didn't move, their muscles tensing, waiting to see if it was their imagination.

After a minute of silence, Whumpee slowly relaxed, thinking it really was their mind playing tricks.

Then there was another knock, followed by a familiar voice.

"I know you're in there. Open the door or I'll break it down."

Sitting up, Whumpee's blood ran cold. They recognized that voice anywhere. Whumper found them, and they were knocking at their door.

Whumpee scrambled off their bed and hurried to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly. They pressed their back to the wall, sliding down until they were sitting on the floor.

They listened closely as they heard the door open, their breathing becoming uneven. Whumpee prayed Whumper would think they weren't here, that they'll leave, and they'll escape once more.

There wasn't a lock on the door, but even if there was, it would be hopeless.

Whumper wasn't dumb, however, and Whumpee cursed them when they heard their boots walk across the carpet floor, pausing in the bathroom.

Whumpee covered their mouth with their hand, their breathing becoming erratic, as they heard Whumper jiggle the doorknob.

The doorknob started to turn, and Whumpee flinched. They squeezed their eyes shut, waiting for Whumper to open the door and drag them back. The door opened, and Whumpee didn't dare open their eyes.

"So this is where you're hiding?" Whumper mused, and Whumpee shivered as they heard them crouch down. A gloved hand cupped their cheek, and Whumpee couldn't stop the whimper from escaping their lips. "Look at me, Whumpee."

Whumpee didn't move, their entire body tense, their heart threatening to burst. Whumper tsked and grabbed a fistful of their hair, making Whumpee gasp and open their eyes, tears already forming.

Whumper smiled at them, their grip tight, making them hiss in pain.

"You've given me quite the chase, baby," they chuckled, pulling their hair harder, earning a pained whine. "But now the fun's over. Stand."

"N-no," Whumpee choked, their hands clutching Whumper's wrist. "Please, don't. I don't want- I can't-"

"I'm not asking," Whumper growled, pulling them closer, their noses nearly touching. Whumpee flinched at Whumper's tone, their breath hitching. "Stand, or I'll make sure you can never stand again."

Whumpee shuddered. They knew Whumper was serious, and they didn't want their legs broken, or worse. Slowly, Whumpee shakily stood, and Whumper followed.

Letting go of their hair, Whumper grabbed their bicep, leading them out of the bathroom. Whumpee stumbled after them, their knees weak, eyes darting around, looking for something, anything, to help them. Whumper lead Whumpee towards the bed and pushed them onto it.

Whumper grabbed Whumpee's towel, easily pulling it off, leaving them naked. Whumpee tried to cover themself but Whumper slapped their hands away.

Roughly turning Whumpee around, Whumper pushed them onto their stomach, grabbing their wrists and tying them together with a rope they had ready. They struggled, but Whumper tightened the rope, making them hiss. They then tied Whumpee's ankles.

"There, much better," Whumper purred after pulling away. "I missed seeing you like this, sweetheart."

"Fuck you," Whumpee hissed, glaring at Whumper over their shoulder. "Let me go!"

"Now why would I do that?" Whumper mused, placing a hand on Whumpee's ass, squeezing it. Their grin turned into a glare. "You really pissed me off, Whumpee. I went through so much trouble finding you, and you're going to pay for it."

Easily flipping Whumpee over, Whumper admired their naked body, eyes dark. They ran their hands up Whumpee's inner thighs, smirking at how their legs trembled. Whumper dug their nails in Whumpee's soft skin.

A trail of red lines followed Whumper's nails, and Whumpee squeezed their eyes shut. They tugged at their binds, wanting to get away from them, to escape.

They knew they were in deep shit, and they were scared of what Whumper was going to do.

Whumper looked up to their captive's face, then stood. Before Whumpee could even be relieved, Whumper shoved them to the floor and walked over to the chair in front of the bed. They sat down and pointed to the floor. "Over here. Now."

"I can't, I'm tied-"

"Crawl."

Cringing, Whumpee awkwardly crawled their way towards Whumper, stopping between their legs. They refused to look at them, but Whumper grabbed their hair and forced them to.

They were sure Whumper was going to force them to suck them off, like they had done many times before, but Whumper surprised them.

"Here's what's going to happen. You're going to grind yourself here." Whumper pointed to their expensive shoe. "You will only cum when I tell you to, and then you're going to lick it all off. Understand?" Whumpee hesitated, earning a tug to their hair, making them hiss. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Whumpee whispered, glancing at Whumper's shoe. "I-I understand."

Whumper hummed, releasing Whumpee's hair and leaned back in their chair. "Then start grinding."

Hesitantly, Whumpee lowered themself onto Whumper's shoe, their thighs pressing against it. Whumpee slowly started grinding against it, the rubber sole rubbing painfully against them. Whumpee tried to go slow, but Whumper wasn't having it, pushing their shoe deep into Whumpee, earning a yelp.

"I'm being merciful and you still manage to waste my time," Whumper growled, hand grabbing Whumpee's hair once more. "Grind faster."

"I-I'm trying," Whumpee hissed, glaring at them, their hips moving faster. "It hurts-"

"Good," Whumper interrupted, their eyes dark. "I want it to hurt."

A shudder ran down Whumpee's spine, their glare faltering. They continued grinding, gasping and hissing every time Whumper pushed their shoe deep into them, the sole rubbing against their most sensitive areas. Whumpee closed their eyes, tears pricking at the corners, their hips stuttering.

"Please," Whumpee whispered, their hips slowing, earning a tug to their hair. "I-I can't- it hurts-" Whumpee was caught off when they heard a click. Opening their eyes, Whumpee saw Whumper was holding a gun, pointing it at them. Whumpee's blood ran cold. "Wh-"

"Keep grinding."

Swallowing hard, Whumpee hesitantly did what Whumper said, their eyes trained on the gun. Whumper watched Whumpee grind against their shoe, their finger on the trigger. Whumpee shuddered, wondering if Whumper was really crazy enough to shoot them while they did this.

Whumper noticed the hesitation, so they pressed the barrel to Whumpee's temple. "Grind. Faster."

Whumpee sobbed again. Whumper smirked, their gun still pressed against their head, watching as they grind desperately against their shoe, their juices coating the rubber. Whumper enjoyed every expression Whumpee made, their lips parting, soft noises and gasps escaping them.

"Close?" Whumper chuckled.

"Yes," Whumpee whimpered, their grinding becoming sloppy. "Can I please-"

"No."

Whumpee shuddered, their walls fluttering. They slowed their hips, their breathing uneven. Whumper pushed the gun against their temple harder, making Whumpee hiss.

"I didn't tell you to stop."

They trembled, their hips picking up the pace once more, their juices practically dripping onto Whumper's shoe. Whumpee gasped and whined, tears falling, their thighs burning. Whumper watched them, their finger twitching on the trigger, their free hand unbuttoning their pants. Pulling out their cock, Whumper lazily stroked it.

"Look at me," Whumper purred, Whumpee hesitantly opening their teary eyes, looking up at them. "You're so pathetic. Look at you, grinding against my shoe like a bitch in heat."

"Please," Whumpee whined, their hips moving faster. "Please-"

"Cum."

Whimpering, Whumpee immediately came, their hips stuttering, their juices coating onto Whumper's shoe. Whumper hummed, continuing to stroke themself as Whumpee rode their orgasm, their breathing labored.

Whumper looked at their shoes, chuckling. "Look at the mess you made."

Whumpee glanced down, their face heating up, embarrassment washing over them. Whumper suddenly grabbed Whumpee's hair, earning a hiss, and shoved their face onto their shoe. Whumpee flinched, their nose pressing against it, their cum smearing across their face.

"Start cleaning."

"But-"

"If you don't, I'll blow your brains out," Whumper reminded, their gun pressing against Whumpee's temple once more. Tears still rolling down their eyes, Whumpee hesitantly started licking their shoe clean, shuddering at their own taste. "That's it. Get it all clean."

Whumpee wanted to throw up, their tongue dragging over the rubber, their cum mixed with their saliva. Whumper watched them, their free hand still stroking themself, their grip on Whumpee's hair tight. Whumpee closed their eyes, focusing on licking their shoe clean, their cheeks burning.

"Open your eyes and look at me," Whumper growled, Whumpee flinching and obeying. They shuddered, seeing Whumper's eyes dark, their grin wide. "You look so humiliated. How cute."

Sobbing, Whumpee continued licking. Whumper chuckled and leaned their head back, their hand speeding up. Whumpee didn't stop licking until every inch was clean, their stomach churning.

Whumper kicked them in the face once their shoes were both clean, earning a pained cry. Whumpee fell onto their side, their nose throbbing, their hands pulling at their binds. Whumper moaned as they continued stroking themself, their gaze trailing Whumpee's naked body.

"On your knees. Hurry."

They really, really didn't want to, fully knowing why, but they couldn't bring themself to rebel further.

Whumpee awkwardly pushed themself up, kneeling between Whumper's legs. They didn't even notice the blood trickling down their nose until Whumper wiped at it, licking at it and moaning again. They then used the same hand and grabbed Whumpee's hair, tugging them closer.

Whumper guided their cock into their mouth, pushing all the way in, earning a gag. Whumpee wanted to vomit as they felt the disgustingly familiar taste of Whumper's cum, their throat protesting. Whumper groaned, their grip tightening.

"You better swallow it all," Whumper growled, thrusting their hips, Whumpee gagging once more. "You're not allowed to miss a single drop."

Whumpee squeezed their eyes shut, Whumper's thrusts harsh. They choked and gagged, their lungs burning, their face bright red.

Tears rolled down their cheeks as Whumper's cum filled their mouth, their thrusts stuttering. Whumper moaned loudly, their cock twitching in Whumpee's mouth, their grip painful.

Pulling out, Whumper grinned wildly, seeing Whumpee's face flushed and tear stained.

Whumper's cum dripped out their mouth, Whumpee's chest heaving. Whumper grabbed Whumpee's chin, making them look at them.

"Show me."

Whumpee parted their lips, showing them that they did as they were told. Whumper hummed, their thumb wiping at some cum that was dripping down Whumpee's chin.

They rubbed it against Whumpee's tongue, earning a whine. They watched as Whumpee swallowed down the last bit of cum, then shoved them back on the floor.

Whumper stood up, tucking themself back into their pants, fixing their shirt. Whumpee watched them, their tears falling, their entire body aching. They flinched when Whumper crouched down, their grin unsettling.

"Good job, sweetie," Whumper praised, wiping away a stray tear. "Now, let's go home. I'm not done with your punishment."

[sophierequests]

Can I request a Hurt/Comfort & Angst fic featuring Nikolai x f!Reader? Maybe f!Reader is some sort of duke's daughter and promised to the second prince of Ravka who is serving in the first Army infantry at the time. However, when news of his devastating injuries arrive to the palace, she rushes off to see him in the medic tent at the Fjerdan front as the doctors are unsure whether he will live or not - only to be joined by a person she'd least suspected by her side: Vasily Lantsov. His royal idiotness himself. How will they react to seeing Nikolai dying? Maybe f! Reader has some previously hidden abilities that will be able to save the little Lantsov...

my blood is tainted // in the bright lilac light part one

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Request

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x f!Reader

A/N: This request was so good oml! I loved writing it, even though I was very sleep-deprived whilst reading it for the first time, because I thought you wanted me to write a love triangle kind of thing with Nikolai and Vasily dslgsakg (don't ask). But I really like how this turned out, so thank you for the request! <333 Also, I love the term royal idiotness, so thank you for that.

You can find part two here!

Summary: After Nikolai gets badly injured, the reader throws all caution to the wind to go and see him. Is there still a chance for him to survive?

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, slight Fluff

Word Count: 4.0K

Warnings: mention of death, injuries, blood, infections and Vasily Lantsov (this is a teeny tiny bit gorey, but not too much)

You felt sick. Violently sick. At this point, you would have preferred hunching over the toilet to empty the contents of your stomach than obsessively rereading the slightly crumpled-up letter you held on so firmly. It didn't matter how many times your eyes skimmed over the neatly written lines, the words didn't magically distort and somehow create a different sentence. They stayed the exact same.

Lady Y/N Y/L/N,

I deeply regret to inform you that your fiancé Nikolai Lantsov, Major of the Twenty-Second Regiment, has been majorly wounded in action in the performance of duty and service of his country. The nature of his wounds has not been fully assessed as of now, but I would advise you to calm your worries. Our mediks are highly trained and will do everything in their power to restore his health. You will be promptly furnished with any additional information received.

Your obedient Servant,

Sergeant Pechkin

Sergeant in Charge of Records

No matter how many soothing words littered the text, you were well aware that his actual state was far from decent. After years and years of political training from your father, you knew that the First Army only bothered to send out notifications once the soldier was on the brink of death.

Nikolai was dying.

Your soon-to-be husband was dying, and they didn't even have the guts to tell you the truth. The man you had been friends with since childhood - the man you had been promised to for even longer - was dying and there was nothing you could do about it.

Well, nothing official, at least.

"Ma? Da? I'm going out for a ride!" You called into the drawing room of the visitor quarters of the Grand Palace. You didn't push your luck by going in to say goodbye to your parents properly. They would never approve of your plan, so any sort of confrontation would be ill-advised.

"Of course, my dear!" Your father's baritone voice called from behind the door. The sound of his voice was rather joyous, indicating that he already had one too many glasses of wine today. Maybe this would help with concealing your absence.

"Be back before supper! We're not waiting for you this time." Your mother added in her usual scolding tone. Maybe staying away unnoticed wasn’t that easy after all.

"I promise!" As soon as you finished that sentence, you began hurrying off in the direction of the stables. The bag on your shoulder wasn't filled with your usual riding equipment, but with a few rations of food and other things you would need for a three-day ride to the Fjerdan border.

On your way down the stairs the devil himself - Vasily Lantsov - passed you. He paused, letting his eyes dart over your dishevelled appearance. By now, they should have also received the notice about Nikolai’s injuries. However, the King and Queen were notorious for keeping their letters stashed away until they had time to open them in the evening. You imagined how they would react. Would they be devastated? Would they want to seek revenge? Or would they continue to act stone-faced, even though their son could already be dead?

“Well, you look…lovely.” He chuckled, giving you a quizzical look. Even though it was still early in the afternoon, he looked like he was already terribly drunk. And judging by the sour smell coming from his mouth, that shouldn’t be too far from the truth. “Where are you headed?” Saints, you really couldn’t stand him.

“I’m off to go on a ride. The weather seems pleasant today, so I just have to seize the chance.” The honeyed pitch of your voice would have been blatantly obvious to any sober person, but thankfully, Vasily didn’t belong to that group of people.

“Sadly, my dearest brother isn’t here. I’m sure he wouldn’t have allowed his future wife to go on a ride all by herself.”

“What a shame he isn’t here then. But if you’ll excuse me, I intend on leaving while it’s still light outside.” You didn’t wait for him to say anything in return before speeding down the few remaining flights of stairs.

The military encampment wasn’t too far from the Fjerdan border, so with a bit of pep in your horse’s step, you completed the journey in three days. You only took breaks to eat and rest, but the adrenaline of needing to see Nikolai before he died kept you awake.

“Lady Y/L/N! What are you doing here?” Pechkin appeared from one of the tents as you handed your horse to one of the soldiers, who was assigned to take care of it. The sergeant looked as if he hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in forever, and you couldn’t help but flinch at the thought of what might’ve caused his distress.

“I’m here to see my fiancé.” You answered sternly, putting all the years of training your facial expression to use. The man shifted on his feet, not wanting to deny you, whilst also not wanting you to see whatever husk was left of Nikolai.

“His Royal Highness is currently not in a state to allow visitors I’m afraid. It really would be best to.-”

“I’m here to see my fiancé. I won’t leave until I know what happened to him, and how his chances of survival are. This is not up for discussion, Sergeant.”

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his already greying hair. He knew that you were stubborn - you were supposed to wed Nikolai Lantsov, of course, you were stubborn - but he had hoped that you would at least be a bit less persistent.

“Fine. But you might not enjoy seeing him like this.” He motioned for you to follow him in the direction of a small grey tent. The medik tent. Your heart sank when you reached the entrance. What would you see? Would you be able to stomach it?

Pechkin halted briefly, sparing you another thoughtful glance before lifting the flap and allowing you to enter the cluttered room. It seemed to have been his personal tent before it was repurposed as his infirmary. You peered around. A tiny desk stood in the corner of the room, a stack of opened letters - probably yours - was sprawled out on top of it, right next to a collection of various maps and plans.

Your heart dropped when your gaze met the reason for your distress. An unnaturally pale-looking Nikolai Lantsov laid in a makeshift sickbed. His face was completely devoid of any emotion or life, as a medik stood next to him, presumably checking his vitals and medicine intake.

"Saints…" You whispered under your breath. You had seen him injured countless times before, but never had he looked this empty.

The man behind you rested his hand on your shoulder in a futile attempt to comfort you, but you didn’t even acknowledge his presence. The medik turned to face you with a glum expression on his face. In that moment, you assumed the worst.

“How did he get injured?” It took you a few seconds to register that the words were your own. It felt surreal.

“His group got ambushed, and he tried to defend the others. They got overpowered and he was stabbed. We were lucky to find them while it was still daytime. Had the night already started to set in, we would probably not have been able to retrieve them.” Pechkin explained. You didn’t have to face him to know that a tight scowl was adorning his face. He and Nikolai had gotten along great - it was a fact that always seemed to matter greatly, when he brought it up in his letters - so you could assume that he was quite affected by the whole situation.

You walked over to the bed, sitting down on the free space right next to him. If he hadn’t looked so pale, one could have mistaken his critical condition with a very relaxing good night’s sleep. His breathing was unnaturally shallow, but it still could’ve just meant that he was asleep. However, you knew better.

“His heartbeat is drastically too slow.” The medik spoke up, taking the elongated silence as his turn to address you. “There were minor scratches we managed to heal fine, but the stab wound seems to have a much larger effect on his body than we had expected, even though it appeared to be quite minor on first glance. By being exposed to dirt and other outside influences, it looked quite infected once he came into our care. We tried to treat it as best as we could, however, the infection still remains. It pains me deeply to say this, but it is unsure whether he’ll manage to survive his injuries.”

“Has he been awake at some point or has he been unconscious the whole time?” You asked suspiciously. The mediks assigned to treat the sons of the Royal family were highly skilled, and you had your doubts that the effects of a supposedly minor stab wound would cause him to be in such a terrible state.

“Yes, there have been a few times he has been semi-conscious, but it appeared to be more of a feverish daze than actual consciousness. We have not found a feasible explanation for this sort of behaviour, though.”

“What does the wound look like?”

“I don’t think that this information is suited for-”

“Sergeant Pechkin, I have seen people’s tongues get cut out after betraying their country. I have seen people get beheaded for way less than that. I have seen the marks of war, and I wish to live long enough to survive its wake, so I should begin to get used to it.”

“If that is what you wish for.” The medik said slowly, coming up to stand right next to you. He removed the heavy blanket, revealing a previously white bandage that had been soaked with blood by now. You could see the man frown, as he worked on removing the fabric that covered his injuries.

Nothing could have prepared you for what hid underneath.

The gash truly didn’t seem to be that deep, what really startled you were the purple and black veiny bruise patterns that originated from the wound, spreading over the expanse of his chest. The smell emitting from the wound smelled foul, sickly-sweet, whilst also carrying the stench of mould with it. This wasn’t a normal stab wound.

“How long have the bruises been there?”

“Uhm, they started showing one day after he was retrieved. They started off as blue and purple bruises, but have changed over the last few days to look like…this. We have never seen an injury similar to this.”

This told you everything you needed to know. The sadness you had felt prior to this was replaced by anger.

“That’s because it isn’t-”

The flap to the tent was thrown open again, revealing a person you would have never expected. Vasily took wide strides as he walked inside. He looked surprisingly calm, but as much as you wanted to discredit his feelings, you knew that he would still be devastated if he had to watch his younger brother die.

“Your Royal Highness!” Pechkin called out, visibly startled by another royal showing up without notice. You imagined that another unannounced appearance would cause him to go into cardiac arrest. The sergeant wanted to speak again, but Vasily silenced him with a simple wave of his hand.

“I’m here to see my brother, that is my right.” You moved to stand up in order to allow him access to Nikolai, however, this offer was quickly dismissed by a disapproving glance. “Stay there, it’s fine. You,” He turned to the two other men inside the room with a grimace on his face. “I’d suggest you leave for the time being. I’m sure Lady Y/L/N would like some time with her betrothed without the presence of military officials.” After giving each other a reserved look, they both left the three of you alone.

“I see that you have diverted quite a bit from your original plan.” Vasily stared you down. It was the same stare he used to give Nikolai and you after finding out about your newest shenanigans back when you were young kids. “Do you have any idea how worried the duke and the duchess were, when you didn’t return in the evening? Having their only daughter suddenly disappear without any trace or note about her whereabouts? You should be glad that my parents didn’t send out the Royal Guard to look for you.”

“I know, but I had no other choice, Vasily! My parents would have never allowed me to go, and I couldn’t have lived with the fact that he might die without me seeing him one last time.” You felt the heat rise up in your cheeks. His chiding was the last thing you needed right now.

“You have no idea how long it took me to convince them to allow me to look for you.” He sighed, throwing the bag he carried on the ground next to him. His tone had also grown a bit softer, even though he still sounded as boastful as ever.

“Why?”

“I saw the letter, and I opened it. All hell would have broke loose if my mother had found out about her little precious boy being on the brink of death.” His gaze wandered to his brother, but it flinched away as soon as he saw the extent of his injuries. “I knew immediately where you went. It was the perfect opportunity for me to get here unnoticed, even though I’m sure that spell won’t last too long. I assume that they’ll figure it out soon enough.”

“So you lied to your parents, because you didn’t want them to know what actually happened?”

“When you put it like that it sounds a lot less honourable than I had imagined it. But yes. That’s precisely what I did.”

“I- I’m not quite sure what to say. That’s probably one of the most honourable things you’ve done.” He waved your comment off, allowing himself a more concrete glance at Nikolai, his eyes never meeting the wound, however.

“Saints, that smells terrible.” The crown prince had to cover his mouth in order to resist the urge to vomit. And for once, you couldn’t even blame him. “What happened?”

“Stab wound.” You didn’t feel like voicing your suspicion, but Vasily wasn’t satisfied with that answer.

“A stab wound? That does not look like a simple stab wound, Y/N.” That’s because it wasn’t. You knew exactly what it was, and how you could still give him a chance to survive this. The only thing keeping you from it, was the measures you had to take to make it happen. “You know more than you’re letting on. What is it?” It was for the best to give in. Maybe he could help you.

“Have you ever heard of Vaizite?” He shook his head as a response. “Some also call it the Violet Rot. It’s a very strong, chemically created poison, that you’d usually only find in Shu Han. I have no idea how the Fjerdans managed to get their hands on it, but I’m sure there had to be some crooked scheme going on.”

“Is it fatal?”

“That’s difficult to say.” He gave you a frown, but you weren’t keen on seeking his approval. “It was not specifically created to kill. The Shu usually tend to put it in their prisoner’s drinks to torture them. If ingested it poisons you from the inside out, but it doesn’t kill you. It does, however, make sure that every waking moment is spent in excruciating pain. It slowly eats away at your muscles, until you’re unable to do anything but lay there and endure the pain. When they think you have suffered enough, they dispose of them through killing them as a supposed act of mercy.”

“But he hasn’t digested it, has he? What happens if the blade was laced with it?”

“It is to assume that it could be fatal. Not immediately, but eventually. By indirectly injecting the poison in his blood stream, it could have a way worse effect on his health than if he had consumed it. I have never seen the bruises develop that fast.” You fiddled with the straps of your coat, avoiding his penetrative gaze.

“How do you know all of this?”

“Do you still recall what I studied at Ketterdam University?”

“Something that had to do with plants?”

“Herbology. That’s what I studied. There was a very long and drawn out unit on recognizing and working with poisonous plants. One unit included a plant called Oshrovov, also called Assassin’s Polkweed. It’s deadly when touched, but once you dilute it with some other chemicals, it can be the perfect weapon for torture. We talked about that quite a few times, so I do know a few things about it.”

“So you know what to do to save him?” Hope was evident in his voice, and you knew that you had no other option than to reveal something you had hoped to keep hidden for just a bit longer.

“I can try, but you might not like what I’m doing. And you have to promise me that you won’t allow anyone to enter while I work.” Vasily raised a brow in confusion. What exactly were you planning to do.

“A promise coming from me isn’t worth a dime, but if that’s all it takes for you to help him, I can’t say no.” That was good enough for you.

“Good. Get that bowl over there.” You pointed at a brass bowl that stood on one of the sidetables close to the entrance. He obliged, carefully watching you as you began to lean over Nikolai’s torso.

“Where am I supposed to put it?”

“You’re supposed to keep it in your hands, until I tell you to do otherwise.” Vasily had to bite back an offended remark as he listened to you bossing him around, but you just didn’t care about his royal feelings at that point. “I’ll need you to act quickly and catch the poison once I extracted it.”

“Extract it? How are you planning on-”

“See for yourself.” With that, you let your fingertips hover over his body, whilst shutting your eyes tightly. You had imagined that you might be a bit rusty in using your Small Science, but after you felt a familiar hum hit your palms, it was as if you had never stopped training it in the first place.

Since you had never been officially trained at the Little Palace, you had only a few minor lessons with your mother to fall back upon. They had kept your abilities hidden away from anyone that wasn’t close family, so it was a pretty dangerous for you to be so callous with using them, especially around someone like Vasily Lantsov. All of these worries faded away when you realized who exactly was lying in front of you. You needed to save him.

Your hands twitched ever so slightly when you located the poison. Quickly, you focussed your Small Science on directing the substance towards the open wound. You felt how it tried to latch onto his arteries, but your determination was stronger.

“Vasily, keep the bowl ready.” Not wanting to be asked twice, he stretched it out towards you, keeping it as far away from him as possible.

Slowly but surely, a thick mass of purple crawled out of his wound, taking the dark black tendrils with it. When you finally removed all of it from Nikolai’s torso, you didn’t hesitate to quickly drop it into the bowl. The substance splashed as it met the cold metal, but it didn’t manage to get even close to touching either of you. Even though you had been quite careful, Vasily still recoiled after watching the liquid fall. Before he could dump it on his shirt, you grabbed it from his hands, hastily making sure to keep it out of reach.

When your gaze shifted back towards your partner, you felt your heart do a flip as you noticed his normal breathing pattern return. The wound was still there - you weren’t a Healer, so what did you expect - but the dark bruises that littered his chest were finally gone almost completely, just like the rotten smell.

“You’re Gri-”

“If you finish that sentence, I’ll make sure to dump the whole bowl of poison on you.” You threatened, pointing an accusing finger at the slightly frightened Vasily. “And if anyone else should ever get wind of this, I’ll make sure to provide you with an even more painful death than anything you could imagine.” It was a completely empty threat, but it still did its job.

“Alright, I will take this secret to my grave!” He exclaimed, raising his hands with a scared expression on his face.

"You better do."

Vasily quickly called for a medik, giving him some half-arsed explanation for the sudden disappearance of the bruises. The medik quickly got to work, cleaning and disinfecting the gash again before bandaging the wound again.

You didn’t even have to wait a full day before Nikolai’s cheeks reclaimed their previous colour, and his eyes eventually pried open. He let out a low groan as he attempted to sit up, but you reacted faster. With one hand on his chest, you pressed him back down into the mattress. It was only then, that he noticed where he was.

“Y/N?” His voice sounded hoarse, but as long as he was alive, that didn’t matter. “Y/N! What are you doing here? Why are you-”

“You almost managed to get yourself killed, Nikolai. Of course, your fiancé is going to be here.” Vasily cut him off, a self-satisfied grin on his face as his brother’s head whipped around to face him.

“Vasily? What are you doing here?”

“Your situation was critical. No matter how many differences we might have, I’d still not let you die alone. You’re my brother, after all. Or do you really think that lowly of me?” If he heard your muttered ‘yes’, he chose to tactfully ignore it, rather taking joy in Nikolai’s utterly befuddled expression.

Whilst their brotherly bickering was continuing, his hand snaked its way into yours, gently squeezing it in an act of reassurance. You couldn’t even begin to describe how grateful you were, that he was still alive, giving you the warmest smile he could muster.

“I was poisoned?!” He exclaimed as his brother had finished the basics of what happened before you arrived.

“You were stabbed and poisoned.” You added with a sly smile, watching as his concerned gaze shot towards you.

“What happened to the poison? How did they get it out?” His eyes filled with realization, as he glanced between you and Vasily. “Y/N, please don’t tell me-”

“Vasily is the only one who knows. Don’t worry. The information will be safe with him, won’t it?”

“She threatened to kill me if I tell anyone, so I’ll keep my mouth shut.” Vasily grumbled, causing Nikolai to let his head fall back in relief. He had expected the worst, but he knew that you were smarter than that. “Wait, hold on a second, you knew about her…disposition?”

“Of course, I knew. She'll soon be my wife, in case you have forgotten.” You pressed a quick kiss to Nikolai’s hand, soaking up the feeling of finally being near him again. From now on, everything would be okay.

Well, after you explained to your parents why you had disappeared for other a week. You sadly couldn’t use your Small Science for that.

Taglist:

Grishaverse in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Nikolai Lantsov: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kaye-here @maximoffgxrl

[maneatercore]

𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Elliot (euphoria) x reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : fem! reader, light smut, swearing, might leave u with blue balls idk

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : your boyfriend always seems to get you tangled in his mess, but makes it worth it in the end

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.5k

𝐚/𝐧: omg omg hiii- Thank you so much for my first ever request !! I’m not sure if this is what you were expecting but I hope you like it either way :’) I honestly just ran with it lol @sbbsnsnsnsmamamaa

Also!! Big shoutout to @sublimecatgalaxy for proofreading and helping me out sm with my first ever request! ur sweet words gave me sm motivation you have no idea! Ilysm <3 obviously follow her if you love elliot >:) cuz her fics are top tier fr

🎧 - dirty work by steely dan, devils advocate by the nbhd, playa shit by nxxxxxs, do what you want, be what you are by hall & oats

You slam your locker shut with a huff, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, the obnoxious fluorescent lighting of the hallways not helping at all with your impending headache. You finally manage to open your eyes again only for you to be interrupted

“Y/n have you been listening to me AT ALL?!?”Jules. Ah, sweet, sweet Jules, whom you unintentionally tuned out during your, probably, 50th yawn this morning alone. You huff, crossing your arms, looking up at her.

“I very much was actually!” i pause “But I wouldn’t be against it if you decided to repeat everything you just said. Ya know, just to make sure I got every detail down…” You say with a smile. Obviously not buying it, she glares.

Honestly though, you don’t know what she expected, especially when school started not even a few minutes ago. And here she comes barreling in, whisper yelling this whole long story with probably multiple layers and loads of gossip. On a usual day, you’d be very willing and very awake to hear her spiel, but today was different.

Different because on most days you’re usually not this sleep deprived from the night before. But with your amazing luck, a certain someone kept you awake all night. You’re honestly surprised, and kinda proud, that you didn’t end up saying “fuck it” and just staying in bed all day. But unfortunately for you, your sense of responsibility outweighs everything else. You’d like to convince yourself that you’re honestly not that sore this morning so—

“I’m literally only gonna repeat this again because I actually love you-“

“Awe Jules! I lo-“

“-Shush! Okay so-wait! Why do you look like that?”

“…Like what?” Your eyebrows scrunching. Looking down at yourself, a bit self consciously. Honestly, you thought your outfit was pretty cute so why-

“No! I mean you! Your face- You look like you got hit by a train and not the good kind.” You open your mouth flabbergasted, about to reply when she speaks up again. “I’m sorry, I’m just noticing it now, but with all the yawning and zoning out, is everything okay?? Do you wanna talk about it-”

''Jules, I'm honestly fine. I just had a long night is all.” With a huffed laugh, blushing a little unbeknownst to her. Leaning on her locker next to mine, she bites her lip looking at me, unconvinced.

“Okay well, you should know that I’m always here if you need it.” Smiling, you honestly felt touched by her concern but fuck, if only she knew. It’s kinda laughable she hasn’t figured it out yet, but you respond.

“Likewise. But for real, I’m good. You’d be the first to know if I wasn’t.” You rub her arm with a small smile. Still looking unconvinced, she walks towards you and pulls you forward into a tight hug, with her chin resting over your head.

“You’re literally so full of shit but… I’ll pretend to believe you for now.” You bark out a laugh, hugging her back just as tight. Pulling away, she looks down at you smiling “So, as I was saying-“ Seemingly out of nowhere, you both hear a bunch of yelling and the sound of rushed footsteps coming from the hallway behind you. You and Jules turn your heads, separating, confused as to what’s going on. Low and behold, it was Elliot of all people, being chased down by a small group of guys, running in your direction. By the time both of you processed what was going on, seemingly by the blink of an eye, Elliot was beside you guys hunched over, hands on his knees, panting. With a quirked brow, he looks up.

“Well, hello ladies.” He says out of breath. You and Jules share an impressed look and before any of you could even say anything he took off again only to backtrack. “Actually! I forgot something-“ he says while grabbing your wrist in a haste and suddenly pulling you with him. You stumbled forward, your shoes squeaking against the polished hall floor.

“Elliot, what the fuck-“

“Uh, no time to explain!.” Now running hand in hand, well mostly Elliot dragging you to god knows where, you stumble again, turning your head around to yell out.

“Text me!” Still hand in hand with Elliot, you managed to get a look at clearly annoyed Jules, arms crossed, frown adorning her pretty face. You shrug, smiling sheepishly right before turning a sharp corner. Now to matter at hand, you snap your head towards your absolute idiot of a boyfriend about to question, again, what the fuck is going on but your words get caught in your throat when you turn another corner, and get abruptly pulled into a closet. Elliot reaches behind you slamming the door shut and locking it. Still holding your hand, He turns his back leaning against the door, panting. And being completely honest, you might’ve found it a little hot, if it were under different circumstances. And if it weren’t for the fact that you are literally in a dark janitor's closet, still not aware of what the hell is going on. Repeating your sentiment loudly, “Elliot, what the-'' Before you can even finish he pulls you flushed against him, caging you against the door, while covering your mouth with one hand and holding your hip with the other.

All you get is a whispered “Shhhh!” So you look up at him, your eyebrows scrunching, giving him the dirtiest look you could muster. About to rip his hand off your mouth, you were stopped with the sudden noise coming from outside the door. You hear hurried footsteps approaching, and a muffled “where the fuck did he go?!” and a “I swear to god bro, the second I see him-” and a bunch of other obscenities. Tearing your attention away from the door you look up at him, giving him a questioning look. He ignores you, looking towards the door to your utter annoyance.

After a bit of commotion, the noise outside starts dying down and the footsteps start retreating. Sounds of irritated murmurs and annoyed sighs are heard from inside the closet getting farther and farther away. And then you both were met with complete silence.

“Okay, I think we’re good.” Elliot says, looking down at you with a small smile. He goes to remove his hand from your mouth, but before he could you bit him. “Ow! What the fuck-“

“Funny! Because I’ve been trying to ask you the same god damn question! What the fuck Elliot? Why are we in the janitor's closet?!”

“Baby, I can explain-“ You scoff, with your hands on your hips not believing for a second that whatever explanation he has will justify everything that just went down. But regardless, you end up giving him a look, saying to just get on with it already. “So, you know how Rue, Jules and I are playing truth or dare?” You nod, already not liking where this was going. “Well, I was dared to go up to this random guy and say some weird shit.”

“Oh god, okay? What did you say”. Elliot sighs, telling you and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Yeah, yeah it’s hilarious. But I guess I hit a nerve, since he and his friends chased me again after spotting me…”

“Wait so this is like an ongoing thing?”

“I mean, I guess? But I haven’t been caught both times so-“ He says with a shrug, smirking. Rolling your eyes you reach out and punch his arm. “Ow! Why are you hitting me! It’s not my fault he’s ashamed of his kinks!”

“Elliot, oh my god-“ Exasperated, you let out a huff about letting things go but something didn’t add up. “Wait, so what does all of this gotta do with me then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, why did you basically kidnap me, in the middle of the hallway??” Elliot let’s out scoff,

“Kidnap you? What?! Last time I checked people who get kidnapped aren’t going willingly, and you were very willing”

“I literally had no idea what was going on! I basically had no choice! But either way, it doesn’t justify doing all this. What aren’t you telling me?” You knew Elliot like the back of your hand so you had an inkling that he wasn’t sharing the complete truth with you and you needed to get to the bottom of it. No matter how dumb it may seem. He ends up biting his lip, turning his face away, suddenly getting all shy- Wait what?

“Hey, Ellie, look at me?” You say softly, turning his face towards you, so you could meet his eye. You both share a brief moment of eye contact, and then he huffs, giving in.

“So while I was running for my life-“ you snort “I may or may not have gotten a look at you and Jules…sharing a moment”. You were confused, till it dawned on you.

“You mean, you saw us hugging?”

“A very intense hug if you ask me.” Giggling, you tangle your fingers with his.

“Awe, baby were you jealous?” You say teasing him, not able to keep your shit eating grin to yourself. He gives you a deadpan look at your tone, but then proceeds to groan when you decide to lean up and give him a bunch of lingering kisses on his face, going down to his neck. Sliding your hands under his shirt to wrap your arms around him, resting your chin on his chest looking up, giving him a doe eyed look. He caves.

“Ugh, stop- don’t do that! Okay okay! So maybeee I was a little jealous- but I just missed you is all.'' Sighing he pulls you closer, resting his head against yours, you smile.

“Miss me? You say that like you didn’t fuck me on basically every surface of your room last night-“ He lets out a long groan “for hours may I add. To the point where I was so out of it this morning that Jules noticed.”

“Damn princess, I affected you that much?” He breathes out, fingers digging into my sides.

“Well duh, we both barely got any sleep last night thanks to your insatiable ass.”

“Well you sure as hell weren’t complaining last night-“

“ugh, shut up”

“I will, for a kiss” Begrudgingly you give in, despite knowing it’s downhill from here. You don’t like to admit it, but you never seem to be able to say no when it comes to Elliot. All self control gets thrown out the window along with common sense and rationality. You’d like to think he feels the same way. Speaking from the fact that he usually can’t go two seconds without having his hands on you or with his tongue down your throat. You're not complaining though. Especially not now, when he's kissing you, like his life depends on it. Hands rubbing down your sides, slowly making their way down while your hands are tangled in his bleached curls. You melt into his touch, humming onto his lips. His fingers trailing up your skirt. Your gasp very quickly turns into a strangled moan when he abruptly cups your ass, squeezing hard, rubbing himself against you. The air suddenly charged between you two as he hoists you up from the back of your thighs carrying you to a seemingly abandoned desk. He sets you down, your legs instinctively wrapping around him as he deepens the kiss. You manage to pull away for a second for some air, Elliot taking the opportunity to trail kisses down your neck lower and lower, the tips of his fingers grasping the ends of your tank top and pulling it off in a swift movement. The sight of your cute bra alone making him groan, settling on his knees resting his head on your lap. “I swear, you're trying to kill me woman” You huff out a laugh at his reaction truly not expecting it. A sheepish ‘sorry’ comes out of your mouth, you both knowing you truly don’t mean it. As torturing him was one of your favorite pastimes. Deciding to fuck with him even more, you lick your lips, spreading your legs a little farther and leaning back with your arms behind you.

“It’s a matching set by the way.” you say biting your lip. Another pained groan leaving his lips.

“You're honestly not making this easier for me, baby”. Ready to give a snarky remark you’re abruptly cut off by him rubbing your slit over your panties. You gasp, your breathing starting to get labored as he starts applying more pressure. Using his thumb, he starts rubbing you, drawing slow circles on your clit over your clothed core. You start trembling, sensitive from the previous night's endeavors. Not letting this deter you from teasing him, you manage to let out a breathy “We're still in school ya know…like in public.” Your words contradicting your actions as you slip your manicured nails into his curls and pull him closer to where you need him most. He laughs, breathe going straight over your still covered center making you shiver once more. While looking up at you he smacks his lips.

“I really don’t care, you look hot and I’m trying not to fuck you sensless right now.” You internally groan, trying not to give in. Just as you were about to respond though, the bell rings, startling you from your haze, Signaling the start of your first period. With a sigh, you look around trying to find your shirt. Once locating it, you slip it on only to be met with Elliot's pouting face.

“Awe cmon, don’t look at me like that.” Trying to get down from the desk, Elliot stops you, standing up in between your legs again to kiss you sweetly, hands cupping your face. He pulls away, rubbing your cheek with his thumb

“It’s hard not to when you look like that.” Ducking your head to hide your blush you push him away, finally making your way off the desk. Adjusting your clothes and hair one last time before heading to the door ignoring him. “Y/nnnnn.”

“Elliot we’re both late as is and you & I both know you can’t afford to skip.” With a pout seemingly permanently stuck on his face, he walks up from behind you hugging you.

“But I have a problemmm” He whines, rubbing his prominent bulge against your backside. Rolling your eyes, acting as if it isn’t affecting you either-you turn around, looking up at him and give him a peck on the lips between each word.

“Not.My.problem” You sing song. And to that he lets out frustrated noise, followed by a huffed out ‘bitch’ under his breath.

“You love it though.” With a defeated sigh and a nod of his head, he responds.

“I do…I do”. And all Elliot could think about while staring at your thighs from under your skirt as you leave—is how much of a punishment you’re in for once you get home. Which isn’t helping his impending problem down there at all. But he honestly can’t wait.

[bored-storyteller]

Hiya! I'm the anon who requested hcs for our precious clowns, and they are so sweet and heart-warming! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 💙💙💙

Also, loving Uta is nothing to be sorry about, it's completely understandable and something to be proud of :д

And uhh... I was wondering if I may request some more? Ugh I'm so greedy, please feel free to ignore me. I'm just gonna say it in case you'd be up for it.

So. Imagine this. Uta and Itori with a ride-or-die kinda s/o. Like, somebody who isn't simply accepting but also fiercely loves each and every part of their beautiful, wretched souls, wants to observe and know and feel all of them, violence and hedonism as well as gentleness and fragility. Maybe they have no care for their own life, or maybe the danger excites them, or they just think it's all worth it, or it's all of it at once. Bonus points if the s/o is human. You know, for higher stakes.

Aaand... there. I said it. Whew, is sending anon asks supposed to be so weirdly intimate or am I just THAT starved for tg clown content? 🤔 Maybe both. Anyway, I hope you have a good day and life and good everything, cuz you're amazing and you deserve it 💙

Dear Anon, you're too kind with me. It's nice to see that there are those who appreciate what I write! And ask me what you want, you're my inspirational muse now! Although I have to say I don't know if this time I was able to meet your expectations. More than headcanons I had some little stories in my mind. But, I hope it's not too disappointing!

42- Tokyo Ghoul, Uta, Itori x human!Reader

- "If you were a ghoul ... I would really like to eat you." That statement by Uta is paradoxical, and he sees the doubt in your eyes. But even if you are the perfect meal, that very human being of yours prevents him from wanting to eat you, because if he wanted to, you would have no chance to save yourself. Yet you seem such a curious one about him, and as long as you take your steps towards him with your questions, he won't deny you or falsify the answer, but at the same time he won't tell you more than you need to know.

- "Do I smell good?" Your question makes him smile. He would never deny it, he doesn't even deny the fact that the affection he feels for you can affect the desire he has to feed on you.

"Do you want to taste me?" You never ask with malice, it is always curiosity, the desire to understand and know.

"I know you would let me do it" he only replies to you.

-He doesn't know if it's masochism on your part or love, but having you there on his lap, with bare shoulders, bothers him and excites him at the same time. He is sure to be full even more than he should, so as not to risk killing you in any way.

"Are you sure?" he asks you, even though he knows his question is superfluous. You smile at him, and then he dares to continue. He first kisses your skin, as if he is preparing it, and then he bites your flesh. He feels your muscles contract at the stimulus, and the blood rushes into his mouth without even asking him to make an effort to extract it. It is warm and sweet, like you are.

“We should do this more often” he whispers to you, licking his dirty lips.

- You may happen to see him lying on the sofa from time to time, in a state of semi-sleep. He doesn't mind feeling the weight of your head on his stomach as you snuggle up to him. "I just ate ..." he informs you lazily, while his hand rests delicately on your head. He knows that you will simply smile at him: "I know".

- If you don't focus too much on what they are, it's not hard to hold an eyeball in your fingers. "Sometimes ... I have the impression that you wouldn't mind that much if I ate you." Uta tells you in a slightly amused tone of voice as he bends over to steal his food with his lips. Usually you don't give him an answer, and you just look at him smiling, but deep down you know, that whatever he did to you now you couldn't stop loving him.

- He wouldn't be Uta if he wasn't a ghoul, and he wouldn't be Uta if he wasn't broken and at the same time perfect, as you see him. Uta may also think you are a masochist, but you don't know if you actually feel like one. Simply, knowing that those lips that touch your skin so lovingly and that those teeth that play with your earlobe could be not only your undoing, but also your death, excite you and at the same time make you love him even more. And he knows it by now, and he has learned to enjoy that constant deprivation of the pleasure you would give him, challenging it, touching your neck with his tongue, where he feels the pulse of your heart accelerate.

- "What if I devour you one day?" he asks you with a slight smile, gently holding your face in his hands. You smile at him: "I would become part of you." It wouldn't be such a bad ending to your human life

- Itori is so sweet and so sensual at the same time. As her arms surround your neck and her chest presses against yours, you can hear her deadly whispers as she speaks only to you. She needs to be free, she can't really repress her ghoul nature, and it happens that while she is cuddling you like this, you will suddenly feel some sort of pain coming from your neck, or your earlobe, or from your shoulder. She laughs, as she licks the blood off you, and despite everything, despite the fear you should have, if she is the one doing it you can only feel pleasure.

-She shows her cards right away. She likes to have fun, and she knows that she does acts that humans might think of as hideous and sadistic. But you chose her, not the human world. And she gladly accepts your openness to her. You don't have to feel sorry for her victims, right? You are safe with her anyway.

- "Can I taste you?" And who knows if she wants a bite or a kiss? It is when she comes close to your lips that you understand what she is asking for. She obviously wants to cuddle. But you know that even when your lips meet, when her tongue plays with yours, she is savoring you. And that pleases you both. The fact that she perceives a taste on you, a taste that she likes, is extremely dangerous but at the same time extremely tempting.

- "If one day I had to kill you, you would forgive me, wouldn't you?" She asks you in a slightly high, playful voice, while she is busy letting you light kisses down her neck.

"Would you like it?" Your question makes her smile, and her cheek rubs against yours, as if she were a kitten: “Yes. I would like. But I'm still not sure it's worth it. "

- "Today we had fun, do you know?" When she tells you similar phrases, you know that gruesome scenarios open up for you, but you can't help but listen to her anyway. That violent side of her is part of her, and you can't help but be fascinated by it as she hugs you from behind, whispering the grisly details to you as if that were an RPG.

- "If someone else dared to bite you I would be terribly jealous, do you know, my precious human?" Her fingers press eagerly on your lips, while illuminated by her lip gloss they smile at you naturally.

"Don't let anyone do that, then." You simply say to her as you enjoy the feel of her orange hair between your fingers.

"You are mine, my dear sweet human."

-"Thank you." Her sweet voice makes you turn to her, meeting her light lips of hers, waiting for yours.

"Thanks for being here." Now her lips rest on your cheek "Thank you for being such a masochist."

And if only she knew how much you risk for her, how much it could hurt you. You like to make her happy, and her smile at this moment is for you the confirmation that all this is worth it.

[hopeless-lovex0]

I HAVE A DREAM (PART 18)

( San Ending )

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff.

Alas we are on the Finale of I Have A Dream!!! I honestly loved writing this story so much and I’m incredibly happy and thankful that people actually took time to read it so this final chapter goes out to everyone who has liked, shared or read in general I Have A Dream ❤️ Without further ado I hope you guys enjoy the option of choosing your own ending, I hope you guys enjoyed I Have A Dream. With much love Lizzie x 🥰❤️

        Taking care of a 3 week old baby was sure a hard task, the loud wails of the little one resonating around the dimly lit apartment. Y/N was glad that Youngji decided to stay over at his friends house, or else she knew he would have a hard time falling asleep with Jongho making so much noise. It's not that Youngji minded, if anything he would be the first one up in the middle of the night feeding Jongho if Y/N was too tired, he would also help change him if Y/N was busy with something else.

     Y/N was extremely grateful for her brother, Youngji always cuddling Jongho the best he could, also taking great care of Y/N when she felt like the constant hours of sleep she lost where taking a tool on her body. Youngji loved his sister very much, he also loved his nephew Jongho as well, but even he felt like he was doing so little to help her.

     So he took matter into his own hands and requested help from someone he knew would never think about saying no, especially when it came to his sister and the recent family addition. San was more than willing to help Y/N around the apartment, constantly dotting over her and Jongho if they ever needed something. He didn't seem to mind either, helping Y/N with Jongho with a big smile on his face, Youngji swears he even heard San whispers Dad of the year to himself while he was carefully changing Jongho's dirty onesie.

     Y/N felt like they were doing too much, the guys constantly following right behind her, eager to help and it made her feel like she was taking advantage of San's sweet nature and her brother's overprotective actions. She wanted to learn and grow as a mother by herself, but now more than ever did she miss the extra pair of hands helping lull Jongho to sleep.

     The circular clock hanging over the kitchen entrance read 2:47 AM, Jongho first started crying around 12. It was nearing the third hour and Y/N had only managed to subside his desperate cries just a little. She had tried everything she could think of, he wasn't hungry as he rejected being breastfed, he also didn't need a diaper change as Y/N had checked more than 3 times.

     Y/N could slowly feel herself crack as the minutes ticked by, swaying her body and humming under her breath to help Jongho sleep but he just kept on crying. " Please baby... Just go to sleep! I dont know what's wrong.." Y/N whispered to Jongho, feeling tears well up in her sunken eyes as she struggled to help her baby calm down.

     The sudden knock on the door snapped her attention from her crying new born, anxiety shooting off the roof when she thinks about her brother's neighbors coming over and complaining about the noise. Walking up to the door with a crying baby in her arms, Y/N begins to give herself a little pep talk, fully preparing herself to see her brother's angry bald neighbor in his pijamas screaming at her for the noise.

     Opening the door, she expected the bald neighbor to start complaining but to her surprised a panting, what appered to be a freshly showered San was hunched right in front of her at 3 in the morning. Y/N gaped at him as he quickly stood straight and walked into the apartment, closing the door behind him then turning back towards Y/N, greeting her with a sheepish smile.

     " Wha.. What are you doing here..?" Y/N questions, standing there with a dumbstruck look on her face. " Youngji texted me saying that you might be having some trouble putting Jongho to sleep so I decided to come and help." San explains, as if its the most simple thing in the world for him to appear in the middle of the night, especially when he was an idol. " Why do you say that so casually?! Won't you get in trouble with the manager? What about your schedule for tomorrow! You need to go back!" She begins to panic, causing Jongho's cries to grow in volume again.

     San then takes a moment to actually study Y/N closely, her pijamas wrinkled as if she got out of bed in a rush, face pale and eyes sucken with dark bags under them to show the lack of sleep she has been getting. Walking up to her, he gently takes Jongho out of Y/N's arms and then takes one of her hands, leading them towards Y/N's room where Jongho's crib is placed. Y/N can't help but gasp out in surprise, the moment Jongho was taken from her arms and placed on San's muscular ones Jongho loud cries had gone down from loud wailing to quiet whimpers.

     " How did you...?" She begins to question before her voice dies off, Jongho now completely quiet as he continues to snuggle in San's arms. " I don't know how you do that." She sighs out, throwing herself on her bed and letting San deal with Jongho as he seems to be doing better than her.

     " Do what? Get him to quiet down?" He questions, Y/N humming back at him in response. " I really don't know.. Maybe we formed a bond the minute he was born." He smugly says, causing Y/N to snort out in annoyence. " I'm his mother and I can't even get him to sleep, what kind of mother can't even put her baby to sleep." Y/N whispers out, face twisted in a frown when she talks about her lack of knowledge on her own flesh and blood.

     San seems to notice her negative attitude towards herself, sitting himself down by Y/N's head, bringing his hand up and flicking her forehead. Y/N jumps up, bringing her hands up and wincing in pain as she begins to rub the red spot appering on her skin. " What was that for!!!" Y/N harshly whispers at him, glaring at him for his sudden action. " You don't give yourself enough credit." San tells her, Y/N saying huh in confusion.

     " There's so many things that you do for this little guy. He finds so much comfort in you and you don’t seem to notice just how much you do for him. You're not a bad mother just because you can't seem to get him to sleep, it'll happen once in a while." San finishes off, patting Y/N's head as she listens to San compliment her. " How do you know what to say too! Like I swear it's like we've been together for years." Y/N whines out, causing San to blush at her words though she doesn't seem to notice as her eyes begin to drop.

     " Go to sleep idiot, I can tell Jongho has been keeping you up and it's not healthy to deprive yourself of sleep." He says, getting up from the bed and pulling the covers off so that Y/N can slip in easier. " What about you? I can't just leave you to deal with Jongho all by yourself." Y/N slurs out, already feeling herself falling into a deep sleep.

     " I'll wait till he's completely asleep, and then head out. Don't worry, I don't mind taking care of him at all." He says, although he doesn't think Y/N caught all of it as she seems to be out like light before he's able to finish talking. Shaking his head, he lets out a chuckle and turns his attention to Jongho currently knocked out on his chest. " You and your mommy are just alike huh? But still.. I wouldn't have it any other way." He whispers to Jongho, placing a small kiss on the baby's peach fuzz head.

     Walking up to the crib next to the bed, he carefully places Jongho inside it then waits a couple minutes in case he suddenly wakes up crying. Once he knows that Jongho is not going to wake up, he walks towards Y/N and makes sure that she is comfortably tucked in. He softly tucks away some hairs behind her ear, showing her content expression, he feels his stomach burst with billions of butterflies. A loving smile appears on his face without him noticing, leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead. " You are a great mother, but on the day's where everyhting doens't seem to work out.. I'll be there to pick you up." He whispers out, staring at Y/N for a couple more seconds before finally walkingout the room and towards the entrance, making usre that the door is properly locked he leaves the apartment with a happy smile on his face.

                                         . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  

     Loud screaming coming from the hallway outside of San's and Yunho's room wakes him up, an annoyed expression coming upon his face when he realizes that it's Wooyoung and Mingi that are screaming their lungs out. Turning over his bed, he squints his eyes against the sunlight pouring in through the windows of his room. He can't really tell what time it is, so he decides to check his phone, the device laying on the floor next to his bed.

     Grabbing the fully charged phone, he notices a message from his manager on their group chat, Hongjoong and Seonghwa having answered for the rest of the guys. No practice today, day off. Please, if you plan to go out wear face masks. Don't burn the dorm down and don't kill each other. We need everyone present for schedule. It reads, the rest of the guys apperantly already knowing from how loud they are at 8 in the morning.

     Letting out a groan, San begins to wiggle himself out the bed before finally feeling his body drop on the cold wood floor. The covers that dropped on top of his body helping him feel some warmth as the bitter cold of the floor seeps into his pijama covered body. He stays on the floor for a couple minutes, listening to all the ruckus going on behind the bedroom door, occasionaly hearing Yeosang’s soft spoken voice and Seonghwa's scolding coming from further in the dorm towards the kitchen area.

     Finally after what seems like an eternity, San reaches into the drawer next to his bed and begins to take out an outfit for the day, not sure if he should go for classy or more casual. He thinks about the various options he has to choose from, what's the point of dressing classy if I'm not doing anything big today. He thinks, moving aside various pairs of jeans and instead taking out a pair of joggers, along with a random t-shirt.

     Standing up, he walks up Yunho's side of the room and takes his hat hanging from a hook connected to the wall. Quickly getting dressed, he walks up to the door and throws it open, standing face to face with Wooyoung and Mingi as they seem to stop their fighting. " Seonghwa-Hyung send us to wake you up but since you are already up then we should tell you that he plans on giving Yunho your breakfast if you don't hurry up." Mingi says, pushing Wooyoung's face away when the dancer begins to tickle the friendly giant.

     Knowing that Seonghwa doesn't bluff, San pushes through them and runs towards the kitchen screaming Yunho's name as he sees the other giant taking small pieces from San's food. Running up to the middle island, he quickly snatches the bowl of food away from Yunho's prying hands, glaring at him when he notices that he was almost halfway done with the bowl. Grumbling under his breath, he begins to eat what is left of his food, missing the look of amusement Seonghwa is giving him, his lean but built body leaning against the kitchen countertop.

     " What are you doing today?" Seonghwa asks San as he continues to wolf down his food, scrunching up his face in disgust from the way San seems to swallow his food all at once. San stays quiet for a couple seconds, giving Seonghwa's questions some thought. Where should I go today? Maybe I can go to the mall with some of the guys? But I want to see Y/N and Jongho again.. Last night was way to short, and I didn't even get to play with Jongho. San thinks to himself, so many things he could do today or how many hours of sleep he could finally get, all of them sounding amazing, but in the end it all comes down to one thing (or in his case 2 people).

     " I'm gonna hang out with Y/N today." He says, struggling to get the words out with all the food stuffed inside his mouth. " Swallow your food before you choke, and didn't you see Y/N last night when we got out of pratice?" Seonghwa asks him, turning around and beginning to wash the mountain of dishes they used to make eachother breakfast that morning. Getting up from his chair, San scarffs down the last of his food before putting the plate in the sink, giving Seonghwa a sheepish smile when the older male gives him a nasty glare. " Barely, Jongho was up all night apperently and she couldn't put him to sleep, so I helped her and then a couple minutes after she fell asleep so I didn't really get to talk to her." Explains San, taking a glass cup from the cabinet over his head and filling it with the last bit of orange juice some of the guys left out.

     " Poor Y/N, I can tell she's having a hard time adjusting to being a mother, but I'm glad you and Youngji are doing your best to help her." Yunho butts in, walking up to San and taking his glass from him, Seonghwa hums in agreement. " Yeah I agree with you. So If you are visiting Y/N, Don't forget to wear a face mask so people don’t recognize you and tell Y/N that we'll all visit her soon when we have another day off." Seonghwa says, taking the empty glass from Yunho and washing it before they decide to leave it there throughout the rest of the day.

     Giving Seonghwa a thumbs up, San runs to his shared room and throws the door open, yelping in surprise when he notices Wooyoung chilling on his bed. " Hey Sannie! What are you doing today? I wanted to buy some new shoes but I don't want to go alone." Wooyoung says, taking one of San's plushies and hugging it close to himself as he watches San take out a pair of socks and shoving them on his feet. " Hey Woo, I actually have plans already. I'm gonna go see Y/N and Jongho since it was way too late last night and they were both tired." San tells him, walking over to his bed and grabbing his bookbag where his wallet and dorm keys are stashed away.

     " That's cool, I'll probably ask Yeosang to come with me instead. Also I see you are climbing up the ladder slowly, but surely am I right." Wooyoung teases, giggling to himself as he sees the deadpan look San give him in return. " You deserve to get your phone thrown out the window for saying that." San mumbles out, busying himself with other things as he tries to ignore Wooyoung’s loud squeaky laugh.

     " I'm just joking around! Plus what I said was true. I see that you are trying your hardest to get her to like you, and no offense with how much you are doing for her, it'll be pretty bogus if she doesn't choose you in the end." Wooyoung tells him, causing San to stop in his tracks and sigh out. " Whoever she chooses in the end, either way it won't stop me from loving her and doing whatever I can to get her to realize that I can treat her so much better." San finishes off, walking back to the door and exiting with a small wave directed to his loud but nonetheless amazing friend.

     He hears Wooyoung yell out a goodbye, snickering to himself when he hears the oldest of the dorm scream at him to shut up. As he walks up to the main entrance he feels the piercing gaze of someone in the living room, chills crepping up his spine when the feeling of being stared at doesn't go away. Turning towards the living room entryway he scans his eyes around the area, his sharp eyes landing on Ateez's leader. The male staring at San with an unreadable expression on his face, fidgeting in his seat as if he is ready to jump off the couch any minute.

     Deciding to ignore him, San walks up to the shoe rack and grabs his worn out adidas shoes, slipping them on without a hassle before grabbing his jacket and slipping it on. Digging in his pockets he takes out a black face mask and slips it on, arm reaching towards the handle before a very distraught voice screams out his name causing him to stop in his tracks. Turning around, the last thing he expects to see is a shaking Hongjoong deeply bowing his head to him, face practically almost touching the floor from how deeply he is bowing.

     San stares at him in shock, turning towards the rest of the guys as they seemed to gone quiet the moment Hongjoong screamed San's name. He gives them a confused look, the guys shrugging their shoulders letting him know that they also don't know what's going on. " Uhhh... What are you doing?" Questions San, yelping out when Hongjoong suddenly stands back up rapidly. " Please take good care of them." Hongjoong's voice resonates throughout the dorm, everyone else quiet as they watch the scene in front of them.

     San is about to question him, but instead gets cut off by Hongjoong's trembling voice. " Y/N and Jongho. I know my chance with Y/N ended when I decided to cheat, so I ask you to please take care of them for me. Jongho needs a good father to raise him, and Y/N needs a good man who will love her better than I could. That man is you." Hongjoong finishes off, harshly wiping away tears from his face as he holds intense eye contact with San. Walking up to him, San pulls Hongjoong in for a hug surprising not only the male currently being forced in a hug but the rest of the guys watching them from the living room and the hallway.

     " Y/N already sees you as Jongho's father so don't give me all the credit. I will take good care of them, so you don't need to worry." San says, pulling away from him and patting him on the shoulder, Hongjoong giving him a small smile in thanks. Again turning around, he makes his way over to the door and opens it, yelling out a goodbye to the rest of the guys.

     The walk to Youngji's apartment doesn't last that long, and before he knows it, he is standing in front of the same door he was standing in front of just last night. Knocking on it, he waits a couple minutes before the door creaks open, Y/N standing on the other side of it seemingly more awake than last night. They greet each other warmly, Y/N fully opening the door to let the idol in and then quickly closing it so that none of Youngji's neighbors come out of their apartments and try sneaking a look into her brothers.

     " Where's Youngji? I noticed he wasn't here last night as well." San questions, walking up to the Jongho's cradling bouncer and picking him up, the new born snuggling onto his warm chest without a fuss. " He stayed at a friends house last night since he got out work late and he didn't want to risk waking Jongho up but as you can tell from last night, he wasn't exactly sleeping." Y/N answers back from her room, voice sounding muffled due to her room being all the way down the hall. She comes back dressed in a pair of black leggings and a loose maroon blouse, cooing to herself when she sees Jongho snuggling San's chest.

     They both stand together in silence, Y/N drinking water from a glass cup while staring at San and her baby, San staring at Jongho with a loving look. Sensing her staring, San lifts up his head and stares right back at Y/N causing her to squeak in embarassment. She turns her head away, blushing bright red when she hears San let out a deep chuckle causing Jongho to wake up from his little nap. Y/N prepares herself for the loud cries of her baby to pierce the quiet setting of the apartment but instead stares in awe when she notices that he instead stares at San in wonder.

     San makes faces at the baby, causing him to let out little giggles in amusement. Y/N can help but silently swoon at the sight in front of her, she can't help but think that San would make a great father someday. With that thought, her mind begins to drift to various other scenarios of which include San with his own child or better yet, Jongho calling him dad. She thinks back to that day in the hospital when Hongjoong called her out on her feelings for San, and she won't lie that what he said isn't true because it is. Ever since that day when Y/N found San on the dirt road with a sprained ankle, she began to develop feelings for the dimpled man.

     All those times he would help her carry bags, bodies brushing against each other causing Y/N's heart rate to spike. She blamed it all on the pregnancy hormones but after her talk with Hongjoong she finally got some time to sit down and think, I really do like him. She is afraid though, the thought of being in a relationship scares her. What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if he decides to leave me for someone better? I can't even begin to imagine the pain I would feel if that were to happen again, and now I have a child. I can't be weak! I have to be strong for my baby. She thinks, turning her body away from the scene in front of her so that San won't be able to see her unhappy expression.

     San seemed to sense her sudden attitude change, puts Jongho back on his bouncer then walks up to Y/N taking her soft hands in his own. " What's wrong?" He asks her, grabbing her chin and turning her face towards his so that she'll look at him instead. Knowing that she can't lie to save her life, she decided to fess up sighing out when she thinks about what he'll say to her.

     " Do you... Do you think I could ever get back in a relationship with someone? Like do you think someone would be willing to date a single mother?" She questions, keeping her eyes down so that he won't see the doubt swimming in her eyes. " Who wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you? You are so amazing Y/N and you fail to see that, If someone doesn't want to be with you because you have an adorable, incredible baby then it's their loss!" San tells her, making sure to keep eye contact with her so she knows that he's telling the truth.

     They stare into each others eyes for what seems like an eternity, both of them flushing in embarressment when they notice just how close their faces were. " You once told me you had a dream to have a family of your own. A loving husband and two kids that you could spoil the heck out of. Don't let that dream leave your mind just because Hongjoong cheated on you, It was his mistake not yours. Anyone would be lucky to have you.. I would be lucky to have you.." San whispers out the last bit, avoiding eye contact with Y/N as he rubs the back of his neck in nervousness.

     He whips his head towards Y/N when her hears her let out a gasp, knowing that she probably heard what he said last. Y/N feels her head start to spin, body warming up when she replays San's words in her head, Don't let Hongjoong's actions affect your future Y/N! It's now or never! Y/N thinks to herself, fist curling up causing her knuckles to turn white.

     " I.... I LIKE YOU SAN..." Y/N says, walking away right after so that if San rejects her she won't be able to see it. She failed to see the blush covering San's entire face, his ears and cheeks burning up from the shock and disbelief he was experiencing in that moment. He feels the way his heart is rapidly racing and he hopes that Y/N isn't able to hear how loud it is, but as he turns around he sees that she's distractic herself with Jongho, checking his diaper in case he needed to be changed even thought she had chaged him an hour ago.

     He studies her for a couple seconds to see if what she said is true, and from the way she's acting extremely shy he can at least begin to think that YN might like him back. He begins to laugh quietly to himself, Y/N staring at him with wide eyes as his laughing progressively grows louder. Scurrying over to Y/N he pullls her in for a hug, Y/N having to steady herself as she's pratically lifted off the floor.

     She feels San's big grin from where he shoved his face between her neck, letting out various giggles as he swings Y/N around making sure that he doesn't hurt her or Jongho by accident. " Do you mean it..?" He whispers out, placing Y/N back down on the ground and putting his hands on her waist as he waits for her to answer him. " I.. I do., I found out a couple days after I left the hospital. I was just to scared to tell you." She says, keeping eye contact with him as best as she can without getting flustered. " You don't have to be scared.. I won't ever hurt you or Jongho, I'll get the guys to beat me up if I ever do." San laughs out, reaching forwards and tucking some hairs behind Y/N's ear as he continues to gaze lovingly at her. " So does this mean you'll give me a chance..?" He continues, nervously playing with her hair as she looks between him and Jongho napping a couple feet away.

     She remains quiet for a couple seconds before a smile begins to appear on her face, growing wider and wider as her grip around San grows tighter. ".. Yes.." She whispers out, bringing San in for a small kiss, pulling away when they hear Jongho begin to whine from the lack of attention. They both giggle out, San reaching down and placing another short kiss on Y/N's soft lips before pulling away and attending to his baby.

                           1 year and a couple months later....

     San wakes to a sudden disturbance on the bed, quiet giggling following the sudden movements coming from the right side of the bed, where Y/N usually sleeps. Pulling the covers away from his face, he peeks his eyes over the side of the bed, spotting a small toddler trying to jump on the bed. Throwing the covers away from him, he quickly reaches his arms over and picks up the squealing toddler, throwing himself back into the warm bed with a giggling boy in his arms.

     " Where's mommy?" San asks Jongho as he begins to tickle the squirming toddler, Jongho pointing at the hallway leading up to the main area of the apartment. Getting up from the bed, he scoops Jongho into his arms and exits the main room, making faces at Jongho as he walks towards the kitchen where Y/N is currently making breakfast. Putting Jongho down, the toddler runs up to his toys spraddled all over the living room floor. He walks up to an oblivious Y/N, swaying to a tune she's humming as she continues to cook some eggs and pancakes for breakfast.

     He snakes his hands on her waist, pulling her up to his body as he gives her exposed shoulder a kiss. He feels Y/N jump and then shudder, the feeling of his lips on her exposed skin leaving goosebumps in its wake. Turning around Y/N slips her arms over his neck, hugging San close to her as he begins to pepper her face with kisses, they both turn their attention to Jongho when he screams out at them. Jongho runs up to San and begins to jump up and down, pounting his lips from the lack of attention he is getting.

     Pulling away from Y/N, San leans down and picks up a whining Jongho, attacking him with kisses as well. Jongho begins to giggle again, throwing his hands up and pushing San's face away from his. " No daddy!" The toddler screams out, San's heart swelling with love when he hears Jongho call him dad. " Let's eat breakfast buddy." San tells him, walking up to the dining chair and placing Jongho in it.

     He walks up to one of the cabinets and takes out two ceramic plates and a colorful plactic plate for Jongho, walking up to the stove and placing the food on the plates. He watches as Y/N fills up two glasses with orange juice, then filling Jongho's sippy cup with warm milk, the toddler greedily sipping from it. Both adults sit down to eat as well, San keeping close watch on Y/N as she begins to eat slowly. " Do you think it's a stomach bug? We did eat sushi the other day and I swear it tasted funny." San tells her, worried for his girlfriend who has been throwing up for the past week.

     " Actually I know what it is." Y/N mumbles out, picking at her food as San looks at her in confusion. " Why don't you go check the drawer next to our bed. I have something for you in there." She tells him, watching as San hesitantly gets up and makes him way back to their shared bedroom. Y/N busy's herself with cleaning the food all over Jongho's face before hearing a shout come from their bedroom.

     Thundering footsteps run back to the kitchen, San popping out from the corner holding 4 sticks in his hand. His face shows pure shock, mouth opening and closing like a fish, Jongho pointing at him and giggling in amusement. " Are you playing with me?!" San asks her, walking up to her and shoving the sticks on her face, she gives him a small smile and shakes her head. " I have an appointment next week to make sure, but no I'm not playing with you." Y/N tells him, taking the pregnancy tests from his hands and placing them on the kitchen counter.

     " You're pregnant.." San breathes out, pulling Y/N towards him and placing one of his hands on her flat belly. Y/N nods at him, San finally letting his excitement show as he practically starts to jump around the kitchen. He hears Y/N and Jongho giggling together and he immediately turns towards the toddler and picks him up, spinning him around with him while telling him " You're gonna be a big brother Jongho! You're gonna have a brother or a sister." San excitedly tells him, Jongho cheering out even though he doesn't know what going on.

     Walking up to Y/N he pulls her for a hug, Jongho stuck in the middle enjoying the hug both parents are giving him.

     " Thank you.. Thank you for making me a father again, I love you." San whispers out, pulling in Y/N for a kiss placing a kiss on Jongho's head when he whines out. Y/N giggles to herself, giving Jongho a kiss as well then pulling San in for another.

     " I love you.. I love our little family." She tells him, tearing up when she thinks about having another baby with San. San beams at her in return, content with life as he thinks to himself.

     She had a dream to have a family of her own, A loving husband and two kids that she can spoils to no ends, and even though we are not married yet, I plan on making her mine forever soon. He thinks back to the velvet box carefully hidden under all his clothes. He can't wait to marry this girl, and live together in their own little house.

              Their own little family...

[heroesarelife]

Pleasure to meet you, Amethyst! I'm sorry for making my first request very angst-y. Aizawa, Hizashi, and All Might (separate btw) have a terrible nightmare that their s/o was brutally killed in front of them. As they jolt awake and try to calm down (it seemed so real oh god oh GOD) they look to their side and find their s/o snuggled up and sleeping peacefully beside them, safe and sound.

Oh, nice to meet you nonnie ;D and no worries at all! I sort of live for angst, but don’t tell on me, aye? xD I legit liked working on this one and I hope you enjoy as well, I love these pro-heroes so much

Warning: Can be a bit gory.

Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)

Aizawa has a complicated relationship with sleeping, to put it kindly. It never came that easily for him, and when it did it could often be restless. And his dreams could be plagued and dreadful, more often than not making him feel that more tired after waking up, no matter how many hours he had slept. So he tires himself to death’s door because then the odds of his dreams reaching him become slimmer. However, it does not always work, and this is one of those nights.

He falls into the nightmare immediately and intensely. He knows something is wrong, something is very much wrong. Worry takes over him, bone-deep. He can hear the maniac laughter and his trained prepared to fight, hand grabbing for his weapon. But there’s nothing there. He’s unarmed.

Mind in a frenzy, heart pounding madly, he tries to think. But he can’t grab hold of a single thought, as if they were immaterial and made of pure noise and chaos. And yet he was sure, deep in his gut, that someone needed saving; he needs to do something. Anything.

All of a sudden he crashes hard against the ground, heavy weights pressing his back, immobilizing him. Air abandons his lungs altogether and pain takes his senses by storm, gagging in his own blood. Aizawa tries to to fight back, desperate, but his body fails him. All his limbs feel as though made of lead, trapping him to the hard cold ground. He’s weak.

He realizes then that he can’t see. Everything is covered in darkness, like a thick fog surrounding him, depriving him of his only proud possession, his only weapon. Screams fill the air, a voice pleading and begging for mercy. For help. His help. He recognizes his s/o voice and panic settles in his soul, ice-cold and unbearable.

Aizawa hears the mocking laugh behind him and the scream is so close, so painfully close. His body is traitor and disobeys him, the weight heavier by the second. And he doesn’t his eyes because he can hear, as if watching from the first row. The sick snapping of bones, the distinctive gushing sound of spilled blood. The fainting anguished screams that pierce his heart, destroying him.

He wakes up then, eyes opening with a startle. His whole body rigid, muscles strained with effort in a silent fight. Nausea overcomes him and he sits up slowly, breathing with effort. Dread covers him like needles; he had lost them. He was weak, and it was his fault. He knows it now to have been a dream, he knows because he can feel the warm touch of their hand in side, anchoring him to the moment. Trembling ever-so-slightly, he runs his hand through his hair. It felt real.

He will eventually will himself into being calmer. In fact most of his distress will manifest itself very inwardly and not show physically, much. His heart will be beating faster than normal, his body not as steady as he would wish it was, making him all too aware of his structure and bones.

Once his breathing is more or less normalized he will lay down again, comforted by his s/o’s steady breathing, by their warmth. He will wrap himself around them, pulling them against him carefully as to not wake them. He won’t fall asleep again, instead choosing to run his hands through their body and skin, allowing the feel of him to bring him back to reality and function as a balm to his spirit.

Yagi Toshinori (All Might)

Normally a light sleeper, Toshinori also barely moves in his slumber. The memories of his old life - his old body - still deeply ingrained in his habits and behaviour. So despite not occupying the same room as before and not being accidentally rough or strong, he will still sleep in a very still manner. His ears pricked, ready to jump into action even as his quirk and power abandons him by the minute.

So he floats, his dream is unreal and abstract, disappearing in itself  before he can make any sense of it. Which is alright, it’s not like he’s trying. It’s mindless and pleasant, like being in a warm cloud, abstracted from all thoughts and worries.

He’s grabbed then, suddenly. Infinite hands holding his body, dragging him towards darkness. He still can’t make sense of things, but now it brought only anxiety and despair. What’s going on? What is it? He’s surrounded. Instinct kicks in and he deals the only way he knows how - the way he learned would always solve the situation. He punched.

Nothing happens, shadows only attached to him with suffocating pressure. Dissolving under his fists and binding him as if they were chains. They lamented, cried for help. It filled his ears and heart, because he understood to be haunted, recognizing his ghosts. He needed to be able to save them, he should be able to. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t save everyone and yet they called for him, for All Might.

Desperate he fought the hands, the pressure of the shadows, because now he could hear his s/o’s voice. The agonized scream bringing dread to his heart, and suddenly he couldn’t move. Released, he falls to the ground, no longer All Might. Now only the Yagi Toshinori in his fragile, skinny, useless body. He could only watch as the vengeful ghosts took over the person he loved the most, imprisoning them with death grips. Filling their lungs with darkness. They looked at him, wide eyes streaming with desperate tears, pleading for the help he could no longer provide. Dying for him, for his mistakes. And he could only watch, paralyzed, heartbroken. Useless.

That’s when he jerks awake, sitting up as if he was punched in the gut, almost falling off the bed in the process. He goes into a coughing fit, struggling for air. He’s all stiff muscle and cramped tendons, pain overcoming his own being when sorrow hits him like a truck. Eyes wet, blood dripping down his chin, he looks up.

His s/o is sleeping in bed, their chest rising and falling reassuringly. He battles down the cough threatening to spill more blood in the sheets and tries to calm down. They are alright, his ghosts were his weight to bear. And only his. And they were alright, it’s all that mattered.

Moving sparingly as to not wake them, he settles down again, joints cracking with the effort. Heart heavy and yet relieved, he carefully wraps their hand with his, needing a point of contact. And wills himself back to sleep, this time keeping the past at bay.

Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)

Yamada is the sort to be having a nice dream about him and his s/o, maybe traveling and on a nice date. So he smiles in his sleep, may even laugh as he does so. Letting out a quiet laugh, the kind he wouldn’t do while awake; his tones are all surprisingly softer when he’s in sandman’s embrace.

Then his dream will slowly and discreetly shift towards a darker setting. Somehow his nice trip takes a twist and he finds himself in a bad situation, fighting a bunch of very violent villains. He asks his s/o to hide - or he must have, he surely must, that’s procedure so how could he forget? - but Yamada must have somehow forgotten because he turns and one of them have his s/o in a firm chokehold.

His heart goes to his throat, in ways that a battle would never usually make him feel. The distraction works and next thing he kens he’s on the ground, head pressed hard against the concrete, blood filling his mouth when he accidentally bites his tongue on impact.

For once, he can’t scream, he can’t. Because his s/o is doing that for him, the terrorized sound deafening him with absolute despair. He fights against the weight on top of him, and a hand pushes him harder against the floor, mercilessly scratching his skin raw. He can’t move, he can’t get away, he can’t. All he can do is watch in horror as their screams disappear into nothing more than dry whimpers, strength leaving their body faster than their blood paints the sidewalk.

That’s when he wakes up, startled and with a scream lodged in his throat. But he does not release it, he can’t; it chokes him. The panic’s still settled deep in his bones, too overwhelming and real for him to let out more than a whimper. He couldn’t save them. He had an all around powerful quirk, was a renowned hero, and yet…

Relief takes him over with a bang. His s/o is beside him, safe and sound. Yamada can even hear the sudden rush of blood in his eardrums, as time comes back into motion and blood runs back to his paled features. God, he had been so scared.

Au his state of mind, even the usually annoying snoring of his s/o gives him the giggles, and he covers his mouth with a shaking hand to suppress it. He hasn’t recovered from the intense emotions and doesn’t wish to wake his s/o up to find him in that state.

He does need some comfort, however. So in the morning, his s/o will wake up to find him buried in their embrace, though they don’t recall sleeping in that position. Yamada’s face is against their neck, facial hair tickling their skin slightly. They think him asleep but he couldn’t go back to it, preferring instead to just be close and assure himself that they were indeed alive and well. In the position, they are able to kiss his forehead softly, still half asleep and pleased to have him so close.