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imagine-loki · 6 years

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Love is Healing

TITLE: Love is Healing CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 13/? AUTHOR: creativwoman88 ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki trying to convince you of his love for you for months after your constant disbelief. One day at the Avengers Tower he pushes you up against a wall, holding tightly as he kisses you, only to have you wildly fight back as you scream and cry begging him to let you go. RATING: this part is G: anyone can read it NOTES/WARNINGS: Only the general self-loathing that Loki has

Chapter Thirteen

“You need to sleep,” was the first thing Natasha said when she saw Arianna basically holding herself together on the bed. “You really need to sleep. But you won’t be able to. You had a nightmare.”

Of course, she had. She was exhausted and hurt, vulnerable to her memories. Vulnerable to the demons she’d never been able to exercise. And she’d had to wake up alone and afraid and in the dark.

Where was Loki? Natasha knew from experience that when Aries woke up from one of her nightmares about that night she woke up screaming. Why hadn’t Loki come running? He had to have heard her – unless he’d finally gone to sleep. He’d been through a lot too, had been exhausted too.

Though considering the nature of Arianna’s dream, a male presence may not have been welcome, and she had asked for Natasha specifically.

“Do you need something?”

Arianna usually either wanted water or just to have Natasha sit with her. This time it was the latter. So that was what she did. Arianna even fell asleep again after about thirty minutes. Natasha allowed herself to rest too, beside Aries, and it was mostly peaceful.

They both jerked awake a few times from the twitches their muscles still had but were able to fall back asleep quickly when they realized they weren’t alone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When Arianna woke up for good at around noon Natasha was still there, though she was seated on a chair, not lying on the bed. Arianna wondered how long she’d been awake and sitting there.

Arianna still felt sluggish, and her eyes were dry and gritty. She was probably dehydrated, to be honest. She hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since the blueberry muffin and French vanilla cappuccino the day before. Her fault, really, because she should’ve taken better care of herself.

“You okay?” Natasha asked.

“Been better,” she answered.

“Banner contacted me about an hour ago. He’s got the antibiotics, but you were sleeping peacefully and your temperature hasn’t spiked. He said he’d wait for you to wake up. I’m supposed to take you back down to the lab.”

“He’ll want me to stay down there to make sure the medicine works, of course.”

“Of course.” Natasha sent her a small smile. “There shouldn’t be a problem, though.”

Arianna slipped on a pair of jeans and didn’t bother changing out of the sleep shirt. She didn’t bother putting shoes on either.

“Ready?” Tash asked.

“Yeah, sure.”

They left her room and Arianna stopped at Loki’s, knocked on the door. She didn’t hear anything from the other side.

“Loki, are you awake?” No answer. “I’m going down to the lab, if you …”

She felt her defences go up. She didn’t know what had happened, and she didn’t owe Loki any explanations at all.

“Whatever. I’ll be in the lab.”

She didn’t miss the questioning glance Tash sent her, but she didn’t feel like talking about it

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony was about to crash. He was actually planning on going to bed. He just wanted to make sure the antibiotics worked and that Arianna didn’t have an allergic reaction or anything like that.

He and Banner were the only ones in the lab at the moment, Steve and Clint having gone to bed hours ago, and were now waiting for Natasha and Aries to make an appearance.

He’d been over the security feed again. He’d been more worried about the men that had taken Aries before, but after going over it once more he’d realized he’d missed a very important thing: Aries had thrown a table at the two men. She’d flicked her wrist and there the tables had gone.

She was getting stronger and learning how to control her abilities in different ways. Tony was proud and surprisingly not worried about having a backup plan in case she suddenly lost control.

Pain made her lose control, but if someone was hurting her they deserved whatever they got when her defences kicked in.

The security feed from the coffeehouse was still up and running when Natasha and Arianna reached the lab. They both seemed stronger than the night before, but they still weren’t at their best. He hadn’t expected them to be.

Arianna had stopped right inside the entranceway, eyes on the screen replaying her burst of power from the day before.

“I forgot I did that,” she admitted sheepishly. She looked at Banner then. “I guess I can smash things too.”

Her tone was soft, non-judgmental, and Bruce responded by actually giving her a small smile, bashful in the way Banner usually was.

“Guess you can. Maybe we shouldn’t make you angry either.”

“Mm.” She moved farther into the lab, Natasha close behind her, and seated herself near Banner. “So … how big of a needle are you sticking in me?”

“Um … a normal sized one …”

“Okay.”

She still stiffened when Bruce showed her the needle. They went through the whole routine of Bruce cleaning the spot in the crook of her arm before injecting the antibiotics into her. Once it was all over he put a Band-Aid on the spot.

“Done,” he said.

“Good.”

“That should break the fever for good, and you shouldn’t need another injection since we caught it so soon.”

“Also good.”

“You’re … afraid of needles,” Tony said. “You can probably literally do anything with the power of your mind, and you’re afraid of a small needle?”

“It breaks the skin,” she said. “And it’s less the needle and more that the needle is used to shoot something into me.”

Well, he couldn’t argue with that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Arianna stopped by Loki’s room again as she was on her way to her own. She felt only slightly better, but it was something. She’d stayed down in the lab for an hour to make sure she didn’t respond badly to the antibiotics and she hadn’t.

So now she was knocking on Loki’s door again. It was pathetic, really. She felt as if she were begging for attention and she didn’t do that.

“Loki. I’m back from the lab. Got a shot of antibiotics, and the geniuses think I’ll be okay again soon.”

When she didn’t get an answer she tried the doorknob. Loki had locked the door. He obviously didn’t wish to be disturbed.

“Loki? At least let me know you’re okay. Please?” Again no response. “I will break this door down, and you know I can do it.”

“Don’t come in here.” His voice sounded strange, deeper and growly. “I’m really not well.”

Not well? What did that mean? He’d been shot with the tranquillizer the day before. Had the same bacteria been introduced to his system, a system that until a few months ago had had no need to build up immunity to Earth’s germs and so had no defence against them? And why hadn’t she thought about that before? That was something they needed to look into, but that was more Bruce’s department.

“Loki … if you’re sick, you really need to let me in.”

“No, I … I wish to be alone. I need rest.”

“Okay.” She could get behind that. Maybe he’d feel better later. “But I’m checking on you later if you don’t come out and eat. You have to eat and drink.”

“Your concern is noted.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Check on him later she did. She brought him soup and water on a tray. He remembered it was the kind where he could eat in bed. She wasn’t up to her normal strength and yet she was still taking care of him.

He did not deserve such loyalty, such care.

The door was still locked when she came to check on him, to bring him food and water.

“I’ll get it. Just leave it there.”

“Why?”

“Because I asked you to.”

“Well, I’m asking you to let me in. I was angry at you because of last night, Loki, but now you’re worrying me.”

“I’ll be fine. Just … Don’t concern yourself with me.”

There was silence then. She had obviously set the tray down and was leaving. Good. He still had no clue how to make his Jotun appearance fade to the background. He was still blue, and the room was cooler than it should’ve been. Luckily each room’s temperature could be controlled from the inside and Jarvis probably thought – sensed? Whatever thought was to Jarvis – that Loki had the AC on high.

Suddenly the lock clicked and Arianna was coming in and he had no clue what to do.

“So I didn’t break the door down, but I did –“

Her voice cut off when she caught sight of him. The tray in her hands fell to the floor and the noise made her jump.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly opened them. To her credit, she didn’t scream. Though that was probably from shock and not from lack of fear.

“I told you not to come in,” he said.

Her eyes snapped to his face at the sound of his voice.

“Loki.” Her voice was a whisper. “I, uh … you did. But I thought – what happened? Why’re you blue? Why’s it so cold? And your eyes … they’re red. I … they’re supposed to be green. What is going on? Am I hallucinating?”

“No. You are seeing exactly what you think you are.”

“How? Why?”

There was still no fear, only confusion. Loki knew then that Arianna had no idea what he was.

“Close the door. You and I need to talk.”

“You think?” she asked even as she did as he’d told her. “This started last night, I assume. When you started acting weird. You wanted me to leave so I wouldn’t see. I get that. And this, this is why your hand was cold, why it’s cold in here.”

“Yes, my very clever Arianna. All is correct.”

She sighed. “I’m gonna clean up this mess first. Then we can talk.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Arianna took her time cleaning up the mess of soup and water. She was glad the room wasn’t carpeted. That would have caused even more of a mess.

Loki was still standing stiffly, away from her on the other side of the room. He hadn’t moved since she’d been there.

She’d been shocked when she’d first walked in. Why wouldn’t she have been? She’d entered the room expecting to see Loki and had found a tall blue man that she didn’t know until he’d spoken. Underneath it all Loki was there.

She didn’t speak until she’d finished cleaning and even then she didn’t know what to say.

“Loki … Maybe you should start.”

“With what?”

“Um … maybe by explaining why you’re blue and why you never thought I might need to know you could turn blue.”

“I didn’t think it would be a problem now that I am mortal. It hasn’t been.”

Loki sighed. “As for why I am … in the form I am in currently, this is my true form. I am a monster.”

“Because you’re a different color?” Arianna tried to make light of it. She wanted Loki to relax. She wasn’t afraid, not now that she knew it was Loki there with her. “I mean, yeah, the red eyes are kind of creepy, and I miss your green ones, but I like the blue skin.”

“This is not a joking matter!” Loki almost yelled. “This is not about what I look like. It’s about what I am.”

“And what exactly are you?”

“A Frost Giant! I come from a race of people who do nothing but kill and brutalize.” Loki stepped forward then. “My touch can freeze you to death, give you frost bite.”

Realizing Loki wanted to be as serious as possible about this, she switched tactics.

“How did you come to be an Asgardian Prince then?”

“Jotunheim and Asgard were at war with each other centuries ago, more than a millennium actually. I was still a baby, and I don’t remember it. I only know what Odin and my mother – Frigga – told me.

“I was born and abandoned in Jotunheim while the war was still happening. I was small for a Frost Giant and so I was cast out.”

“Small? You’re, like, six-foot-four!”

Loki actually let a smile grace his lips. At least he could still do that. She could still reach him.

“Tall, yes, but at the time I was considered a runt. Thrown away because of it. Odin found me, took me to Asgard. I spent ages – centuries – not knowing my heritage, centuries being Odin’s son but always feeling second best, always in the shadow of Thor.

“Odin taught us about the things the Frost Giants did, taught us to hate them, fear them, because they were monsters.”

“No,” Arianna said. “That’s one side of the story. Odin’s side. I don’t know him, but I know history. When there’s a war each side tries to make the war justifiable by calling the other side monsters. Not every individual of a race is evil. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Perhaps, but I was brought up to hate them and, when I found out about my true nature I hated myself. And Odin for keeping it from me. He admitted to hoping I could create peace between the two realms.”

Arianna sat down on the bed and pulled the blanket up around her. She was getting cold, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t fix with a blanket.

“How did you find out and why weren’t you blue when you came to Earth?”

“My magic is illusion only. I was able to hide it once I found out. I think until then Odin was hiding it – or Frigga. I never asked. As for how I found out, it was by complete chance. I played a … not-so-harmless prank that went farther than I had planned, and Thor became offended. It ended in us taking a trip to Jotunheim. A battle ensued and one of the Frost Giants grabbed my arm. He was probably trying to freeze me, to be honest. Instead, my skin reacted by changing color. And just like that I was devastated.”

“Oh, Loki.”

She had no clue what to say. She couldn’t make this better with words, and he no longer had his illusions to hide behind.

“What caused this to happen?”

“I don’t know. Your fever, I think.”

“You were reacting to my body temperature,” she surmised. “You were able to touch me without hurting me.”

“True, but I hadn’t completely transformed then.”

“Not the point I was trying to make. Whether you meant to or not, you lowered my temperature enough to help me.”

“I – I didn’t even notice until I pulled away. I just thought you were overheated and that was why I felt cooler to you. The coolness made you feel better, and so … I allowed you to use my hand as an ice package.”

Loki chuckled. “Irony at its best, I would say.”

“Hm. Have you tried touching anything? Just to see?”

“No. I already know the end result. Why would I?”

“Because you’re mortal now. Or were – or whatever.”

“So maybe my power isn’t as strong.” Loki shrugged. “Good theory.”

Arianna stood up, leaving the blanket behind, and held out her hand, at which Loki stepped backwards.

“You have more incentive to control yourself with me as opposed to something or someone else.”

“No.”

She smiled softly and moved towards him.

“If you were a monster, you wouldn’t care whether you hurt me or not. Your personality hasn’t changed at all, it doesn’t seem.”

She turned her palm up and waited for him to place his hand in hers. He was definitely hesitant, and she completely understood why, but he eventually let himself touch her.

His fingertips brushed against her palm. She jerked away slightly, only because it tickled. Hurt flashed across his face until she grinned and told him why her hand had left his for those few seconds.

She slipped her fingers between his and held on. He tightened his over hers once he realized he wasn’t hurting her.

“Okay?” she asked.

A half-laugh half-sob pulled from his throat.

“Okay.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In Asgard, on a completely different realm, Thor and Frigga were standing with Heimdall while he was checking on Loki. Frigga had requested frequent updates on her son after having stranded him on Midgard. If he had come to any real danger she would’ve sent Thor to help him. She had never truly abandoned Loki.

She’d been completely aware of the risk of leaving him on Midgard, but she’d taken a chance when she’d met Arianna. The chance had been worth it and well calculated. She had seen and brought the goodness out in Loki, the kindness and playfulness that had always been there, that he’d hidden away after finding out about his true birthplace.

True, he’d fought against it at first, but she’d broken down his defenses. He’d asked for help when first courting her – from an old enemy nonetheless – and had put Arianna’s comfort and wellbeing over his own many times.

He’d protected her, killed for her. He loved her, and he had never loved anyone outside his family. Arianna had his heart and was slowly helping to heal it.

She’d even handled finding out about his Frost Giant form well. She may not have been able to make him believe he wasn’t a monster, but she had made him believe she didn’t think he was one.

It was a good start.

“Will his magic come back soon?” Thor asked.

“Perhaps.” Frigga smiled. “More than likely.”

“And he’ll come home?”

“If he chooses to. He may choose to stay with Arianna. He’s never known love like that.”

“She could always come here. She’s not a normal human by any means. Father could grant her a longer life span, to match our own.”

“He could,” Frigga agreed. “We shall see.”

There was still a hurdle or two Loki had to get over before he had to make any decisions about the rest of his life.

#Loki #Angst #Submitted fic #submission #love is healing #chapter 13 #creativwoman88 #trigger warning #mentions of rape #kiss #avengers tower #screaming #Natasha Romanoff #Steve Rogers

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nycttophilic-a · 5 years

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Anne Phantomhive~

=BASIC INFO= FULL NAME: Angelina Phantomhive NICKNAME(S)/ALIAS(ES): Anne, Anastasia, Ana, the Flame Reaper, Demonspawn PRONUNCIATION(S): Ann-gel-ee-na AGE: verse dependent GENDER: female SPECIES: Reaper BIRTH DATE: January 15th SEXUALITY: Homosexual =PERSONALITY= PERSONALITY: Fiery, warm hearted, strong willed, stubborn, prideful, determined, outspoken, tough, hotheaded EMBODYING QUALITY/IDEA: A fiery young woman with a fighting spirit and a flame in her eyes LIKES: Watching fire, her twin brother, her mother, fighting, reading, playing outside, music, being herself, freedom DISLIKES: Her father, social standards, jerks, people who try to control her, feeling trapped in a situation FEARS: Losing her brother for good, being trapped for the rest of her life WEAKNESSES: She’s very hot headed and stubborn, so she’ll fight anyone who tries to tell her what to do. She also can be very selfish. STRENGTHS: She’s very warm hearted to those she cares about, and she will protect them at all costs. She also can manipulate fire (explained later) and has a very high body heat, so she’s always warm and can warm other people. SPECIAL/SIGNIFICANT BELONGINGS: She can usually be found wearing a reaper trainee suit (a literal black suit and tie), just because she never changed her attire when becoming a full blown reaper. She doesn’t have reaper glasses, instead the new reaper contact lenses. Also, she has a red motorcycle =PHYSICAL AND HEALTH INFO= HEIGHT: 5’6 feet WEIGHT: 153 pounds BODY TYPE: She’s of average height and kinda curvy, but she’s mostly extremely muscular, especially for a woman. Not quite bodybuilder like, but she clearly works out tons. JEWELRY: She doesn’t care for jewelry PIERCINGS/TATTOOS: None SCARS/DISTINGUISHING MARKS: On her right hand is a long scar that cuts across her entire palm. She got this as a child from saving her brother, Leic, from one of her mother’s swords. =RELATIONSHIP INFO= RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Verse dependent PARENTS: Elizabeth Midford Phantomhive (Mother), Ciel Phantomhive (Father) SIBLING(S): Leic Phantomhive (younger twin brother) – BEST FRIEND(S): verse dependent FRIENDS: Victor Riley, verse dependent ACQUAINTANCES: verse dependent ASSISTANTS: verse dependent GUARDS: N/A ALLIES: verse dependent PETS/SPECIAL ANIMALS: verse dependent – ENEMIES: verse dependent MAIN ENEMY(IES): (maybe Ciel), in some cases Leic, herself, verse dependent MOST HATED: verse dependent =STORY INFO= STORIES THAT THIS CHARACTER APPEARS IN: Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji STATUS: Alive (well, dead, but kinda alive lol) BACKSTORY: (TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE) Anne was the first born of twins, and as the eldest, she believed that one day she would be her father’s heir. Since their father was a demon, Leic and Anne were hardly normal children; for one thing they grew much faster than humans. By three months old—all while their father was away, fighting in a war—the twins had the appearance of three year olds with the minds of nine year olds. When Ciel came back, Anne was eager to please him and show him why she should be his heir. However, those dreams were crushed after learning that she couldn’t be the heir since she was a girl. She remembered hearing from her mother of reapers and demons from the stories of Anne’s parents when they were children, and that being a reaper was punishment for taking your own life. Still, it was a whole different world where someone could be whoever they wanted to be, Anne decided. And she wanted a way out to be her own person and not some man’s wife. So, she hung herself to become a reaper. As a reaper, Anne—or Anastasia, as she went by then—was a prodigy among reapers. Graduating the Academy in a record three years, she was both respected and feared by her fellow reapers. She was administered to the Discipline Branch where she used her extraordinary fighting skills to bring back wayward reapers and admit them to the punishment they deserve. Grelle saw Anne’s potential and, in a way, took her in as her own. Anne sees Grelle like a motherly/sisterly figure, but still refuses to forget about the family she left behind. – PLACE OF BIRTH: Phantomhive Manor, England PAST LIVING QUARTERS: Phantomhive Manor, the Reaper World CURRENT AND FUTURE HOMES: the Reaper World, verse dependent – NATIVE LANGUAGE(S): English LANGUAGES SPOKEN: English, French, German, some Russian, some Japanese =TALENTS/OCCUPATION/EDUCATION= OCCUPATION/JOB: grim reaper BOSS: reaper council TALENTS: And excellent fighter and a skilled leader YEARS OF EDUCATION: no formal education, 3 years in the reaper academy LEVEL OF EDUCATION: Grim reaper =COMBAT= SKILLS/TECHNIQUES: She will use her heavy death scythe to her advantage in combat, as well as use her flames. Think of Maka from Soul Eater, but with fire. SPECIAL POWERS: Anne can manipulate and create fire. The oils on her body are flammable and combustible, so if her hormones are activated then she can combust into flames. She sometimes can’t control this if she’s angry, but the older and more experienced she gets the more she can control the flame. She’s also immune to burns as a result. Also, she can control preexisting flames, but not as easily as her own. WEAPON(S) OF CHOICE: Her death scythe is an actual scythe, a mechanical one that transforms into her belt. Also, her scythe can excrete gasoline for her to ignite. STRENGTHS: Can’t get burned by fire, is incredibly strong, determined to win, inhumanly fast, super agile, and has enhanced healing speed. Unaffected by cold temperatures WEAKNESSES: Her weapon is large and needs two hands to wield, leaving her vulnerable mid-attack. =VERSES= ~hσld чσur вrєαth αnd cσunt thє dαчѕ; wє‘rє grαduαtíng ѕσσn~ [High School Verse]—Anne is a rebellious human teen who had been sent to study abroad at an all girls school by her rich father. Now, she’s back with her twin brother, and they both want to give public high school a shot.

~ѕσund σf mч hєαrt; thє вєαt gσєѕ σn αnd σn~ [Band Verse]—Anne is a human who is currently learning to play the bass guitar with her best friend, Lia. With her cousin’s skills with the drums and pleasant voice, as well as her rich father’s admiration for the piano, she was kind of raised around music. Now, she wants to spread her wings. However, that is hardly as easy as it seems.

Queen’s Watchdog Verse TBA—In this Verse, everything is the same…except Anne never became a reaper!! Her entire world is shifted; Leic grows up to become a doctor, Anne is the one who clung to her twin as children, Anne became Ciel’s heiress and pawn, and the fiery woman’s fire extinguished, replaced by a cold heart of stone. She became the next Earl of Phantomhive while her father and mother remain in the Underworld. Now, she is the aristocrat of evil, and she fits the role her father left behind perfectly…sickeningly so.

~í’m α crєαturє whσ‘ѕ up tσ nσ gσσd; í‘ll lσvє чσu líkє α vαmpírє wσuld~ [Vampire Verse]—This verse is very simple and the same for all of the muses that have it: the character is a vampire. This verse is very flexible, so if you have ideas please let me know so we can incorporate it into the thread!! But it’s nothing major, I just love vampires lol

~tαkє mє thrσugh thє níght; fαll íntσ thє dαrk ѕídє~ [Villain! Verse]—A verse for My Hero Academia. Anne is the co-leader of a secret enemy organization that keeps tabs on villains from all over the world, working alongside her twin brother, Leic. She has quirk called Pyromaniac, where she can control flames and set herself aflame, and is also immune to fire and has an elevated body temperature.

~í cαn вє hαppч wíth чσu; вut í cαn‘t вє hαppч íf í‘m dєαd~ [Simulation Verse]—Do you want to ship your muse with one of my four girls? Then this is the verse for you!! That is, if you’re prepared for some REALLY messed up shit and triggers like suicide, abuse, murder, blood, and many others. This verse is not at all for the faint of heart, and it’s best if you don’t really know what you’re in for. If you want to learn a bit more about this verse, you can find it here.

~gσd dαmn ríght; чσu ѕhσuld вє ѕcαrєd σf mє~ [Tokyo Ghoul Verse]—A verse that takes place in the world of Tokyo Ghoul. Here, Anne and Leic are the children of a human aristocrat that found himself with too much power: the knowledge of how to create half ghouls. He used this knowledge to turn himself and his two children into one eyed ghouls to make them strong, having to sacrifice his wife in the process. Now Anne must live with being a monster and having to eat her own kind, as well as struggle to be there for her younger brother through the worst of the worst.

~íf í tσld чσu whαt í wαѕ wσuld чσu turn чσur вαck σn mє?~ [Monster! Verse]—An AU where the world is humans/monster hunters vs. monsters. Here, Anne is an ifrit. She was alive at one point but was murdered by a monster hunter, who mistook the human girl for a monster. Now she despises the human monster hunters and takes joy in murdering them, and ESPECIALLY setting fire to their homes and loved ones.

~wє‘vє вєєn ѕpєndíng mσѕt σf σur lívєѕ lívíng ín thє gαngѕtα‘ѕ pαrαdíѕє~ [BSD! Verse]—Taking place in Bungou Stray Dogs, Anne is the leader of an organization that studies abilities called the Underworld Reapers. Find more info here.

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

#Anne Phantomhive #~🥀I’m super bored (OOC)🥀~

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podcastdx · 5 years

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HPV Human Papilloma Virus

TRANSCRIPT

Jean: [00:00:16] Hello and welcome to PodcastDX. The show that brings you interviews with people just like you whose lives were forever changed by a diagnosis. [00:00:24][8.7]

Lita: [00:00:26] I'm Lita. [00:00:26][0.2]

Ron: [00:00:27] I'm Ron. [00:00:27][0.2]

Jean: [00:00:28] And I'm Jean Marie. [00:00:28][0.5]

Lita: [00:00:29] Collectively we are the hosts of podcast dx. This podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice diagnosis or treatment. Always ask the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider for any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking any new health care regimen never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. [00:01:03][33.6]

Lita: [00:01:05] On Today's podcast We are going to be talking about the human papilloma virus. And the FDA approved. HPV. Vaccines HPV. [00:01:14][8.9]

Jean: [00:01:18] (sing-song-rap) Are you down on HPV? [00:01:18][-0.1]

Lita: [00:01:19] (sing-song-rap) Yeah! You know me! [00:01:19][0.1]

Ron: [00:01:19] (clears throat) Ok Then. I've heard this a lot but. Please tell me what. Does HPV stand for? [00:01:24][5.2]

Jean: [00:01:25] HPV stands for human papilloma virus. And there are over actually 200 viruses that are considered to be HPV. Viruses. According to the Centers for Disease Control. About a quarter of the population currently have HPV infection and nine out of 10 individuals will get an HPV infection at some point in their life. [00:01:46][21.2]

Lita: [00:01:47] And most cases of the infection are taken care of by the body's own immune system, right? [00:01:51][4.4]

Jean: [00:01:51] That's right. Some HPV infections though can lead to cancer later in life. [00:01:57][6.0]

Ron: [00:01:58] Well how does somebody get an HPV infection? [00:02:00][2.3]

Jean: [00:02:00] Typically through skin to skin contact. According to research. Some studies actually suggest that HPV could. Even be spread through something as simple as a French kiss. But it's the skin to skin contact. [00:02:13][12.3]

Ron: [00:02:14] Well. Why is that such a concern? [00:02:16][2.0]

Jean: [00:02:17] Studies have shown that it. In HPV infection and can lead to cancer. Including cancer of the throat tongue. Tonsils. Cervix the bulldog vagina. Anus. And. An HPV infection can also lead to warts. On the body. And non cancerous tumors. Of the respiratory tract which can interfere with breathing. [00:02:37][20.0]

Ron: [00:02:38] Well is there anything we can do to reduce our chances of getting an infection. [00:02:42][3.7]

Lita: [00:02:43] Absolutely. There are three preventative vaccines currently. Gardasil, Gardasil 9, And. Server. They're all approved by the CDC. The vaccine can actually help prevent future HPV related illnesses and cancer. [00:03:01][18.4]

Jean: [00:03:02] And right now in the U.S. Gardasil 9 is the vaccine that's being given. [00:03:07][5.2]

Lita: [00:03:08] OK. Well, it just surprised me that according to the Mayo Clinic the vaccines can actually protect against cervical cancer. [00:03:16][7.6]

Jean: [00:03:17] That's right. [00:03:17][0.2]

Lita: [00:03:18] And then, I don't know is there a link between HPV and breast cancer. [00:03:21][3.3]

Jean: [00:03:22] There's still research that's being done on that. But we've seen a possible link between HPV and breast cancer. [00:03:26][4.4]

Ron: [00:03:29] Well who should get the HPV Vaccination. [00:03:31][1.7]

Jean: [00:03:32] Right now. The CDC recommends that males and females between the ages of 9 and 14 years of age should receive two vaccinations. So they receive one vaccination and then receive the second vaccination approximately six months later. Those between the ages of 15 and 26. Will actually receive. Three vaccination doses. So they'll receive one. Vaccination. Two months later something one in six months after that they'll receive the third vaccination. But you should always consult. Your health care provider to see which that the definition schedule. Would work best for you. [00:04:06][34.1]

Ron: [00:04:07] OK then. Is there anyone that shouldn't get the vaccine? [00:04:11][3.5]

Lita: [00:04:12] You should probably discuss your concerns and any concerns that you have. Regarding the HPV vaccine with a qualified physician. The CDC warns that some individuals with a severe life threatening allergic reaction to any of the components in an HPV vaccine should not get vaccinated for HPV. [00:04:32][19.6]

Jean: [00:04:33] Just like when you're going to get a flu vaccine they ask you if you have any allergies for that kind of thing, that flu vaccination. And if you are pregnant, Allergic to yeast, are suffering from any serious illnesses. You should always consult your physician before getting vaccinated. They don't recommend pregnant women, or people with severe allergies to yeast, get vaccinated with a HPV vaccine. Or if you had a reaction in the past to another vaccine or to any HPV vaccine. [00:05:01][27.7]

Lita: [00:05:01] Right. Well that's often how they say always consult your physician before getting vaccinated for where they think they're going to get their getting vaccinated. Where do they think they're going to get them? They are getting vaccinated at the physician. they've got to consultant them!. [00:05:12][11.1]

Jean: [00:05:13] Over the past 11 years there's actually been a hundred million doses of the HPV vaccine distributed in the U.S. alone! [00:05:21][7.2]

Ron: [00:05:22] What are some of the possible side effects of the HPV vaccine. [00:05:25][3.6]

Jean: [00:05:26] Well I'm glad you asked according to the vaccine. Adverse Event Reporting System which is where. Any side effects for a vaccination are reported the most frequently reported side effects are those that you would expect with any injection. So. These would include but not limited to fainting, headaches, Dizziness, nausea, feve, and pain and possible discoloration or inflamation at the injection site. So if whenever possible you should be seated before you get vaccinated. And if you feel dizzy. Then you want to remain seated. [00:05:58][31.9]

Lita: [00:06:00] But those arent really bad side effects. I mean, when you think that you're preventing a certain type of cancer. [00:06:05][5.5]

Jean: [00:06:06] Well, you're you're helping to prevent it. [00:06:08][2.1]

Lita: [00:06:08] Right. [00:06:08][0.0]

Jean: [00:06:09] Right. [00:06:09][0.0]

Lita: [00:06:09] I mean that's certainly worth it. [00:06:11][1.6]

Jean: [00:06:11] Right. In the time that we're reporting this the only HPV vaccination like we said that's administered in the U.S. right now is Gardasil nine. It covers more of the human papilloma virus. And as of December. 2017 . Of the twenty nine million doses of Gardasil nine. There were only seven thousand or just over seven thousand reported adverse events. And about three percent of those. Seven thousand events were actually considered serious in nature. [00:06:42][30.7]

Lita: [00:06:43] No not really a bad statistic. [00:06:45][1.5]

Jean: [00:06:46] No and if you can help prevent. Future incidents of cancer then I think it's well worth asking your physician about a human papilloma virus for you. Or your kid. [00:06:55][9.4]

Ron: [00:06:57] I do have a question though. Where it is about 3 percent were considered serious. What is considered serious? [00:07:02][5.1]

Jean: [00:07:03] Anything that. Requires. Sustained. Medical intervention or has sustaining effects. On your medical condition. So having a slight fever that goes away without being serious. Having a slight dizzy spell at the time of the vaccination I did not consider it serious. But if there is a serious reaction to what actually. Of those. Vaccinations. Of the. Millions and millions of vaccinations that were distributed. There were. Some concerns about a. Link between that and the Guillean Barr syndrome. But it's a very rare disease that damages. Your immune system starts to damage from nerve cells having muscle weakness and perhaps paralysis. But. Out of the. Millions of vaccinations. Only four. There only four reports of GBS. So I think that's still a rather low. Statistic. Or Statistics. [00:07:59][56.6]

Lita: [00:08:01] Yes kind of heard you when you're trying to cover so many different people. Somebody different people are going to have different infection. You can't cover everything that they're doing your best. [00:08:11][10.5]

Jean: [00:08:12] Right. And they said too that. A number of the. Incidents may have been the result of. An error where the vaccine was not stored properly or vaccination was given to someone who should not have received the vaccination. [00:08:24][12.5]

Lita: [00:08:25] So they might have been allergic to use. Like you were saying it was and didnt to the vaccine right. [00:08:30][4.5]

Ron: [00:08:30] So all in all it sounds like the benefits far outweigh. Any any of the adverse effects we could get from the vaccine. [00:08:37][6.2]

Jean: [00:08:37] I know. I was. In that age bracket or if I had children of that age I would certainly recommend that they receive a human papillomavirus vaccine. [00:08:46][8.5]

Lita: [00:08:46] Is this something that pediatricians are recommending to do. [00:08:49][2.5]

Jean: [00:08:49] Yes. The CDC has recommended as well. [00:08:51][1.8]

Lita: [00:08:52] I mean I haven't really heard too much about it. So you were kind of surprised by whether you brought it up and we were able to talk about it today. Thank you very much Jean. [00:09:01][8.9]

Jean: [00:09:01] No problem. I think most of the advertising been directed at the younger generation. [00:09:07][5.4]

Lita: [00:09:08] OK. Well that explains it. I dont listen to that. [00:09:10][2.3]

Jean: [00:09:13] M and M, And Nick at night. [00:09:14][0.8]

Lita: [00:09:14] No, Im on a different channel completly. [00:09:16][2.1]

Ron: [00:09:16] . Well that was definitely a very interesting. Conversation. I think I learned quite a bit myself. [00:09:25][8.7]

Lita: [00:09:26] I did too. Good topic Thank you. [00:09:27][1.3]

Jean: [00:09:28] Thank you. [00:09:28][0.3]

Lita: [00:09:28] Continuing with today's topic we will be interviewing Courtney Miller who is an integrative nutrition health coach. Courtney believes strongly in empowering women who have HPV to work on their diet to boost their immune systems which in turn helps fight HPV naturally. Courtney's book HPV free will be released on April 22nd on Amazon. There are approximately 15 million new cases of HPV every year in the US. As we discussed earlier there are many different types of HPV subtypes can cause health problems including genital warts and cancers. [00:10:11][42.7]

Lita: [00:10:13] Hello Courtney and thank you for joining us today. [00:10:15][1.2]

Coutrney: [00:10:16] Thank you so much for having me, it's My pleasure. [00:10:18][1.6]

Lita: [00:10:21] I understand that you have been diagnosed with HPV and found the strength and determination to assist others in fighting it through the holistic medicine approach including diet? [00:10:30][9.7]

Coutrney: [00:10:30] Yeah that's correct. I've actually had a long journey with HPV. My journey started back in 2010 when I was originally diagnosed with HPV and at the time I didn't know much about the disease or the virus at all. [00:10:49][18.5]

Lita: [00:10:50] Sure,. [00:10:50][0.0]

[00:10:51] And so I went off of you know what my doctor said which was just to wait and see. So I went ahead and went home and passed by a year and went back and from that point on it had changed into cervical dysplasia. And so I went on you know kind of long journey with trying to figure out what to do with that. A doctor would recommend a Leep the Leep is just a laser that kind of cuts in the narrow edges of the cervix to remove any of the mutated cells. I did go ahead and get a Leep and after that experience I went back and got tested and the dysplasia had returned actually worse than before and the doctors offered me another Leep. [00:11:33][42.6]

Lita: [00:11:34] Oh. [00:11:34][0.0]

Coutrney: [00:11:35] And when it was about that point when they were just offering me a second sleep and I just knew something else could be done here. So I started doing a bit of my own research and really started to learn how the body's immune system has the ability to heal this virus and what we can do to help boost our immune system so that the body has a better chance of clearing the virus and mutated cells of the cervix. [00:12:01][25.6]

Lita: [00:12:02] And thats how you got into the Integrative Nutrition portion of your career. [00:12:09][7.0]

Coutrney: [00:12:10] Correct, Yeah. So it was at that point that I started doing research and I really realized how important our diet is and how our body works and how our body is able to heal itself oftentimes when you go to the doctor they just tell you to wait and see which doesn't feel very empowering at all. [00:12:26][16.3]

Lita: [00:12:27] Right. [00:12:27][0.0]

Coutrney: [00:12:27] Really it's kind of more or more like the wait and worry approach you go home and you freak out and you're stressed out and you think of all the worst case scenarios. And when we do that we actually put our body into a state of stress and when we're in that state of stress our immune system is actually weakened. So I really want to reach out to other women to help empower them that they can do something to you know you can take that six months and you can make some changes to your diet you can improve your lifestyle and improve your chances of clearing the virus. So it's you know it was four years after that point after I refused that second Leep, that I did research I read every book I could find. I scoured the internet for articles and kind of put together my own prescription of what I was going to do to take care of myself. And a big part of that was my diet. It was mostly a whole food plant based diet. I didn't go strictly vegetarian or strictly paleo I don't really like to fit into one box. But I tried to eat healthy and listen to my body and I think that's the most important part you know using your body as a guide to know what you should be eating. You know for me I still included small amounts of meat and dairy for other people dairy doesn't work well with their system and it's better if they you know cut it out completely. [00:13:52][85.0]

Jean: [00:13:54] IWho knows you better than you. [00:13:55][0.9]

Coutrney: [00:13:55] Exactly exactly. So there was a lot of experimenting along the way. You know I would keep changing it up keep reading more trying new things but also trying to keep it simple. You know I think a lot of times we get caught up on looking for one pill or one supplement or you know one quick fix. And to me I knew if I was going to heal that I had to do an overhaul of my entire lifestyle and really look at not only diet but also the way I was living my life you know the way I was spending my time how I interacted with, you know, the people around me how I interacted in stressful situations all of those I think, play an important role in the healing process. [00:14:40][44.8]

Jean: [00:14:41] Sure it sounds like a very holistic approach and actually it gave you some control in this situation as well. [00:14:48][7.0]

Lita: [00:14:48] Don't you wish the doctors had the same insight. I mean it seems like what you're saying makes perfect sense. [00:14:55][6.1]

Jean: [00:14:55] Well I think integrative health and that whole approach maybe, you know, that's coming more into, I don't want to say, into fashion, . But yeah the whole integrative health approach is definitely in line with what you're saying Courtney. And it sounds like. [00:15:10][15.3]

Coutrney: [00:15:11] Right. [00:15:11][0.0]

Jean: [00:15:11] An amazing amount of work on this. [00:15:13][1.4]

Lita: [00:15:14] Yes. And you're staying so positive and and now besides helping yourself get through this you're also helping others by being a. coach. so do you actually work one on one with these people in the studio or gym or is the training done remotely. Tell us a little bit about the career that you chose. [00:15:33][19.6]

Coutrney: [00:15:35] Yes I've done most of my training remotely. I find actually women feel a little more comfortable to open up about such a delicate situation when we're on the phone. You know it's a little easier rather than face to face. Just talk to someone openly though. Often oftentimes I find remotely worked really well. And then that way it's fading you know both me and the client time from having to meet at a certain location. You can meet with me wherever you are. You can meet with me in your pajamas if you'd like. [00:16:05][30.0]

Lita: [00:16:05] (laughter) [00:16:05][0.0]

Coutrney: [00:16:06] You know I just want to make sure you know you're comfortable and so usually do one on ones. And as I started doing that more health coaching I realized that doing just one on one was really limiting my reach. I started seeing there's only so many clients you can work with one on one you know in any given amount of time. [00:16:26][19.4]

Jean: [00:16:27] Exactly. You're only one person. [00:16:29][2.0]

Lita: [00:16:30] Maybe clone yourself. [00:16:30][0.1]

Coutrney: [00:16:30] So yeah. Exactly. [00:16:31][0.6]

Coutrney: [00:16:32] But until then I tried to look at how I could expand my reach. So what I've shifted to doing is writing this book and spending more time on getting the knowledge out there to more women. And I'm still operating like one hour empowerment sessions to help boost and jumpstart your healing journey. But other than that I'm really looking at ways that I can connect with more women and really get the information out there to more women. So I'm trying to do more with the book now and looking to actually next year release some E courses online that women can work through at their own pace. [00:17:11][39.1]

Lita: [00:17:12] That sounds great. [00:17:13][0.6]

Jean: [00:17:13] Yeah you can definitely reach the masses. [00:17:15][1.7]

Lita: [00:17:16] Right now I know that you've done a lot of research since you were diagnosed with HPV but you can remember back to when the doctors first inform you. Did you know what to expect back then. [00:17:27][10.8]

Coutrney: [00:17:27] Absolutely not. Like many other women I think I was confused scared overwhelmed. I had a lot of questions and not a lot of answers no to a lot of the doctors HPV is so common that I was just another woman with HPV. But to me it you know it was affecting my whole life and my whole world and I had a lot of questions even if I didn't know what those questions were or what to even ask at first. So I didn't know what to think. And I had seen a couple different doctors and kind of got some differing differing opinions. You know one doctor told me that the virus would stay in my body forever while the other doctor told me that it would clear on its own. Either way I felt really powerless like there was nothing I could do or at least that's kind of how I felt after I left the doctor's office originally. Just like there's not much I can do I just have to wait and see what happens. And that I think is a problem with the health care system I think we should empower women if we're doing nothing but waiting and seeing in that six month we should take a look and see what what it is that we can do. So at first I had no idea I really had to do my own research on my own and what I learned is just to take notes to write things down to ask questions and to actually hold the doctors responsible to answer your questions and in doing that I felt a lot more empowered and more in control of my own situation and more in control of my own health care plan. And I think that was actually a big part of the healing process too when we're not sitting by as just a you know a patients you know we're not just a bystander to our own health care plan but take charge of it. We have a better chance of healing. [00:19:20][112.9]

Lita: [00:19:21] That's really amazing. You have the best outlook of anyone that I have ever met. [00:19:27][5.8]

Jean: [00:19:27] And it's very exciting that you can get your book is just coming it's just a matter of days and we can really that is a source of empowerment than anything. I just I'm very excited for you and I'm excited for all of us women out there every now have this resource available to say. [00:19:46][18.6]

Coutrney: [00:19:46] Yeah I'm pretty excited about it too. [00:19:48][2.3]

Coutrney: [00:19:49] I definitely put my heart and my soul into this book. I tried to keep it short and sweet and inspiring not overwhelming you with all of the information on HPV or specific diets that you should follow but getting you excited about being in charge of your own health care plan and starting to take action and showing you ways that you can take a little step that might add up to make a big difference when you go back for your next pap smear and say six months or a year. There's a lot you can do in that time to really change it. So I've tried to capture that in the book which comes out this Sunday the 22nd. And for those first three days I'm actually offering the book completely free so that Sunday Monday and Tuesday go to Amazon download the book app free to me it's really just more important to get that information out there get women inspired to do something about their health and get them taking action so that they feel more in control that they can make informed decisions about what to do next. In a seemingly overwhelming and sometimes scary situation. [00:20:54][65.3]

Lita: [00:20:55] Sure in and the title of your book again is HPV Free? [00:20:57][2.5]

Coutrney: [00:20:59] Correct. HPV free a holistic approach to boost the immune system and clear the infection naturally. [00:21:05][6.0]

Jean: [00:21:06] Okay. And we're definitely going to put a link on our Web site for people who want to find your book. And it sounds like I mean just read a great resource for those who've been diagnosed with HPV but it also sounds like a great resource for everyone who wants to take a more holistic approach to their health. [00:21:19][13.3]

Lita: [00:21:21] It's not just HPV what you're saying. Courtney will work with anybody with anyone's disease no matter what it is. Because like you're saying getting the stress out of your body so that you can heal better is such a big step. And that's probably the step that the doctors don't do. But your attitude and your coaching and your techniques. That's exactly what we need. [00:21:43][22.4]

Jean: [00:21:44] Yeah and we are so grateful that you took the time to tell us about this and to talk with us today and you're offering book free when it first comes out to reach more people out there and it's just an amazing amazing job that you've done here where we're proud to have spoken with you today. [00:21:59][15.6]

Lita: [00:22:00] Gosh yes absolutely. [00:22:01][0.8]

Coutrney: [00:22:02] So thank you so much for having me. [00:22:04][2.2]

Lita: [00:22:04] You know. Absolutely. COURTNEY Now this is your time to wrap it up and we'll let you say whatever it is that you want to say to our audience so that they can feel empowered today. Go right ahead. [00:22:16][11.3]

Coutrney: [00:22:17] Absolutely. So if you're out there if you've just been diagnosed with HPV if you've been told by your doctor to wait and see and you're at home and you're scared and you're nervous please understand you're not alone. This is nothing to be ashamed of and you're not dirty because of this. This is a common disease that many of us have and many of us will have throughout our lifetime and really opening up and finding others to connect with has really helped me. So you know find a friend talk to them about it and you don't have to have it all figured out to start doing something today. I had no idea what I was doing in the beginning. I just knew I had to do something. So I started making changes start you know making little changes to your diet adding a little exercise size you know spend a little more time giving yourself some love take care of your body you know love it and be kind to it and honor it and you will start to find your way. There's a lot of women out there. I do have a support group as well. On Facebook it's called Empower and shine and it's a support group for women who've been diagnosed with HPV and it's a great place to connect to start to get some ideas to start to move forward and feel a little more informed so that you can make the best decisions for your own health care. [00:23:41][84.0]

Jean: [00:23:42] That's fantastic. And also on any of the other social media sites for people to reach you. [00:23:46][4.3]

Coutrney: [00:23:47] Yes. You'll find me on Instagram as well at Shine Light health. And then on Twitter Twitter my handle is shine light heal. [00:23:55][8.2]

Lita: [00:23:56] thank you again. And you look forward to reading the book. [00:24:00][4.7]

Coutrney: [00:24:01] Thank you so much again for having me I look forward to sharing it with everyone out there. Absolutely. [00:24:05][4.2]

Lita: [00:24:07] If you have any questions or comments related to today's show you can contact us at podcast D X at Yahoo dot com through our Web site where you can link to our Facebook page and also see more information as we build our site. Please go to podcast D X dot com. [00:24:27][19.3]

Ron: [00:24:28] If our listeners have a moment please give us a five star review on item podcast. [00:24:28][0.0]

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