#also ily for agreeing to this )

[spookyghouly]

for those asking about the ghoulette dresses: it was your classic victorian mourning gown. floor length with veils that covered their whole faces—unclear if masked underneath still or if the veils were opaque enough they didn’t use them. personally i think the veils would have been opaque enough based on historical examples we have. think constance hatchaway haunted mansion realness, but make it black and you’ll have a pretty close approximation.

edit: here’s some photo refs off of google that are similar—top right is closest in terms of skirt shape, from what I could see.

edit edit: just to be clear, they only wore these for 1 song! it was the if you have ghosts cover. four ghoulettes total, with 2 playing cellos, 1 on grand piano, and one on either vocals or theremin (I couldn’t tell! if anyone had a clearer view pls lmk!)

[murdleandmarot]

@margo-mania ya boy razzle, and a special guest….

(Dude you ate when you created razzle’s backstory, actually insane, 10/10 in terms of themes and motifs and implications, so so good)

[engagemythrusters]

Cat

She is Üglié

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

So Kenny. Do you know him? I think you might know him. Anyway we see him in sweaters right. But we never see Suguru in those sweaters. Do you think Suguru had those in his closet and gege never drew him wearing them (a crime) or do you think Kenny took his fruity ass to the store to buy cute clothes. Asking for a friend (it’s me)

REMMMMM…… i DO know kenny >:3 i know him personally actually. here’s a pic of us

BUT YES . I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR THIS. my personal hc is that kenny tries to match the wardrobe of whoever his host is!! it might not even be a conscious thing…. but!! with that in mind!!!! i think it’s safe to say that even if the sweater he wears isn’t suguru’s, suguru is still VERY much a sweater guy. and i’ll die on that hill!!!!!! you can pry sweater boy sugu from my cold dead hands!!!!!!!!!!! he just strikes me as someone who dresses for comfort above all else :33

wait actually . i just remembered that sweater boy sugu is canon bc we see him wearing a black sweater in hidden inventory and it’s one of his best looks…….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

GULP . he looks soooo boyfriend it’s insane ….

[sugarsnappeases]

microfic - lesbian tedromeda!! | 2k words | kiki’s delivery service au

this one’s for my angel @stillagoodwitch and also (mainly) for cat (want u to read it aloud to her please, do u think she ships tedromeda??)

Andromeda thought she was doing well, all things considered.

She’d made it to the ocean, flown through the night to a seaside city with no other witches where she could settle down and start her new life, and no lightning bolts had come down from the sky to smite her, no demons had come from the manor to try and drag her back.

She was free and she was doing well.

She had Cat, her cat, all her savings and, of course, her broom and she thought she was making a good first impression on the townspeople, smiling politely and floating overhead in the early morning sun as she looked for somewhere to land.

It was a busy city, busier than anywhere she had ever been - people bustling across the pavements, cars rushing through the streets - but she thought that was probably a good thing, the change, the freedom, the anonymity of crowds.

She moved out into the road a little to fly under a bridge and - swerved as quickly as she could to the left to avoid being run over by a truck that was coming through the other way. Her broom lurched off sideways, her elbow scraping against the wall of the bridge as she flew away from it - directly into the path of another car.

It was louder now, cacophonous even, cars screeching to stops and beeping their horns at her as she tried desperately to get her broom back under control, swinging this way and that and nearly hitting another three cars before the broom sped off down the pavement, Andromeda still clinging on, pedestrians jumping out of her way.

She managed to stop, hovering in the air just around the corner from all the chaos she had caused, and lowered herself, and Cat, who had also been hanging on for dear life, and her savings and her broom, down onto the pavement with a sigh of relief.

Andromeda took a deep breath before looking up at the people who had stopped to stare at her, trying to smile her friendliest smile, which was rather unpractised, trying to look like she knew what she was doing and like she belonged there and like she wasn’t a complete disaster.

She wasn’t entirely sure how well she was succeeding but she smoothed down her hair and after a few moments everyone started to move about their days again.

Turning to Cat, who was perched on her shoulder now, she said “Well, I think-“

“What do you think you’re doing flying around like that?!” Shouted someone who had marched up behind her. Andromeda turned to see what looked like a policeman, still yelling at her, “You could’ve caused a crash! In fact, you’re lucky you didn’t!”

“Sorry, sir,” Andromeda stepped back against the wall behind her, trying to think what she was supposed to do in this kind of situation, it wasn’t really something she had ever been taught to deal with and for all that she was doing well, for all the she was freer and happier, she was started to feel a little overwhelmed, “I’m still getting used to how busy the city is, I just got here today, you see”

The policeman looked unimpressed, “That’s no excuse, you should still know better than to fly around causing a ruckus like that, someone could’ve got seriously hurt!”

Andromeda frowned a little, because surely it hadn’t been that dangerous, she knew she was a good flyer and it wasn’t like it was her fault that the truck had suddenly appeared like that, but she thought it unwise to say, so she let the man continue his tirade.

“Now,” he said finally, pulling out a notebook and flipping it open, “What’s your name and address?”

Andromeda opened her mouth, racking her brains to think of a suitable answer because she wasn’t sure if her name was really hers anymore, she thought her parents would probably have burnt her off the family tree by now, once they had woken up and discovered that she was gone, and she certainly wasn’t going to give out her old address but she didn’t yet have a new one to use instead. She was alone, and she didn’t have a home anymore and she desperately didn’t want this policeman to get in contact with her parents so all that she could come up with to say in the end was, “Um…”

“Don’t even think about lying to me, girl,” the policeman frowned at her, tapping his pen against the top of his notebook, “And hurry it up, I haven’t-“

Just then, he was interrupted by a shout of “Stop! Thief! Somebody stop him! Thief!” and he hurried off around the corner towards the noise, telling Andromeda to wait where she was and not move a muscle.

Andromeda stood there for a second or two, then relaxed her shoulders, turning towards Cat again, “That was lucky”

Cat nodded sagely, agreeing with her, and they wandered away in the other direction, slipping in between the other pedestrians and taking the next turning they came across.

She was taking it as a good sign, a symbol that maybe some god was smiling upon her running away - she knew she had done the right thing, knew she couldn’t have stayed there for a single day longer, she wasn’t sure what she would’ve done if she’d had to come up with a name and address for the policeman.

Running away had been like shedding her name, her last name at least, like an old coat, like a skin that didn’t quite fit right over her bones. The further she had flown from that manor, the more at peace she had felt, something settling in her.

So maybe the two of them, Andy and Cat, weren’t off to the best start but they had still been fairly lucky; at least they hadn’t been hit by any of those cars, at least they didn’t have to give up their old address and at least they weren’t currently being dragged back across the country to Black manor and the parents who Andromeda wasn’t sure would even let her in anymore, to the sisters, who she had been trying quite desperately not to think about, who she wasn’t sure would even want to speak to her anymore.

She had Cat, and her savings, and her broom, and she was going to make a new life for herself. She was free, and she wasn’t going back, and things were going to work out. Andromeda was repeating that like a mantra as she and Cat walked down a side street, trying to decide where to go from there.

“Hey! Hey, wait!” Came a voice from behind them, it wasn’t the policeman, it was a much younger voice, so Andromeda didn’t immediately break into a run, but it put her a little on edge nevertheless. She wasn’t sure what this person wanted so she didn’t turn to face them, continuing to walk onwards,

“Hey, that was pretty good, right?” the person was beside her now, Andromeda peered at them out of the corner of her eye, a person around her age on a bicycle, pedalling along in time with her steps, “I was the one who called thief, it was a distraction, I helped you get away, right?”

Andromeda turned her head slightly to look at them but didn’t reply, still walking along, struggling to suppress the instinctive sneer at the person’s unkempt hair and untidy clothing. She wasn’t her father, she wasn’t a Black, not anymore, but as much as she had shed that skin and felt better for it, there were things that had been drilled into her since birth that would take more than one night on a broomstick and a fifty odd miles to remove.

“Oi Teddy!” someone else called out from a group of teenagers gathered outside a shop, speaking to the person on the bike, who Andy now assumed was named Teddy, “Isn’t it a bit early to be on the prowl?”

Andromeda frowned, wondering whether she should be offended and feeling slightly out of her depth, more than she already had been. Teddy’s only response was a middle finger - frightfully vulgar, said her mother's voice in her head - and Andromeda worried this would lead to some act of violence or something, but the other teenagers barely batted an eye, just laughing in response.

“Shut up,” laughed Teddy back, and then proceeded to nearly crash into a lamppost because they hadn’t been concentrating on the road in front of them. Andromeda lips twitched, wanting to smile in spite of herself, as she continued to walk on, watching all of this out of the corner of her eye and studiously pretending that she wasn’t.

Teddy cycled a little quicker to catch up with her again, “Hey, can I have a look at your broom? It’s so cool that you can fly like that”

Andromeda kept walking, acting like she hadn’t even heard. She wasn’t used to speaking with people her age, or with anyone who wasn’t her family really, and she didn’t know how she was supposed to behave. There was a part of her that found this all quite endearing, but it was being drowned out by panic and frustration and an insistent need to be alone.

“Please could I just have a quick look?” Teddy continued, undeterred by her lack of response, “I love flying, I just wanna see what your broom is like - It could be payment for how I helped you out with the policeman”

At that, Andromeda stopped, turning sharply to look at the person still cycling beside her.

“I didn’t ask for your help!” she said, a little angry now, probably a little irrationally, she had never been good at controlling her temper, she was a Black after all, or she used to be, “I didn’t want your help. I suppose I have to thank you for it now but it was rude of you to not even introduce yourself”

Andromeda started walking again, frustrated at herself for snapping like that but also frustrated when out of the corner of her eye she saw Teddy recover from their moment of shock and grin, wide and bright, pedalling to get beside her again.

“I’m Ted,” they said, still smiling, and Andromeda didn’t know why that made her feel all warm inside, like that smile could solve all her problems, could calm the stormy seas that were constantly waging war on her, trying to pull her under. Then Ted, not Teddy, which must be a nickname, spoke again, “Now I’ve introduced myself, can I please have a look at your broom? Pretty please?”

Andromeda huffed, a bit discomfited by how friendly they were despite her rudeness, a bit annoyed by their persistence, entirely out her depth and clinging on to her pride and her anger like they were life jackets, a last bastion of familiarity in this new life where everything was new.

“No,” she snapped, harsh and definitive, “Leave me alone.”

She felt a bit pathetic as she stomped away, unsure why she had gotten so worked up like that, her anger gone almost as soon as it had arrived, disappointed in herself and the way she had behaved, worried that she was still too much like her family, like she would never be able to escape them even as she left them behind.

Andromeda didn’t know how she was meant to interact with this person, or any person really, she was beginning to worry that she didn’t know anything at all, overwhelmed by the newness of the city, the crowds and the buildings and the sense that she was on the outside, looking in on something that she might never be able to be a part of, uncomfortable with how Ted was trying to invite her in.

She turned a corner and got on her broom, flying away quickly and aimlessly, confused and maybe a little upset but mostly at herself. Andromeda, with Cat sat on the handle of the broom now, wondered whether this new life might be just a tad more difficult than she had first anticipated.

[nostalgic-muffins]

if i see one more fucking fanfic where satan calls mc kitten i will lose my shit

[ghostyolive]

Okay but it actually drives me insane just how good Aoi’s design is in 999. One thing that really confused me even after finishing 999 was the relevance of his Santa story in non-safe-end door 6 routes. Like was it there just to be edgy? How did it play into who he was as a person? And then I noticed something about his outfit at 15 compared to 24.

His outfit distinctly changes from having black as the predominant color to being more focused on white. Which is. Hmm.

Something something the original Santa story could be a metaphor for loss of childhood innocence and Aoi feeling as if the younger version of him died (or was killed by himself) after the events of the first nonary game.

[trashlie]

ILY FP 219 (or, The One That Went to the Top of My Favorites List)

Hehehe is that an enticing enough, non-spoiler preview for you? lol I want so badly to tell everyone WHY they should be sure to FP this episode, but I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. Not that I think knowing what’s in there will ruin it, but I think the impact of going into it without knowing is just SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL. It’s BEAUTIFUL okay? That’s why you should read it - it’s beautiful! 

Idk where to begin with this one!!!! Over 24 hours later, sorting out my emotions is still difficult because I just keep wanting to climb the walls and start shrieking lmao AAAAHHHHHHHH! 

Those of us who are patrons of quimchee’s got a little teaser for this episode - the first part was SUPPOSED to post with 218, and quimchee said that 213-219 are all supposed to be parts of one much, MUCH bigger episode, so you know, if you want to read them all together, there you go! But anyway, even getting a little teaser of it last week, this episode was still full of so much new, and even what we got to see still hit just as strong. UGH. LISTEN. 

When the music hit me and I realized what it was? As we kept scrolling and Shinae furtively snuck back in? I CRIED okay lmao I CRIED. How long has it been since Nol last celebrated his birthday? When was the last time someone made him feel special on this day? Because he sure hasn’t allowed himself to. He hasn’t spent a birthday with friends - I mean, hell, this is the first time he’s even HAD friends who mean anything - and after everything they’ve gone through, everything he put them through, to see them show up just meant SO MUCH to me. I had no doubts that Dieter and Soushi would come through for Nol, but I didn’t think we’d get to see it so soon, either. I was so concerned that there’d been no time for them to talk at the party, that Soushi’s first indication that Nol was even there at all was seeing him fall into a glass table! Finding him bleeding out in the snow. 

How harrowing it must have been for them - at least Shinae has gotten to talk to him a little, has a little more insight into who he is, why he did what he did. I’m sure, in time, Dieter and Soushi will come up to speed, whether through Shinae or Nol himself, but even now, even with them NOT knowing or understanding, I think it makes it even more special that they showed up. Nol has been there when they needed him, whether they wanted it or not. He always had their backs, had a way of making them feel like they were special, like they matter. And now they all got to do the same for him, to return that favor. As readers, we know that Nol began those relationships with no real intentions, never intending those friendships to become real, but they did, both ways. There was something about Soushi’s commentary that really did me in - about how he doesn’t have bullies coming around anymore and even if he did, he’s got a buddy whose got his back ;~; How he went from wanting to take help from no one to coming around to the weirdly insistent boy. 

I love, LOVE, LOVE how all of their gifts related to the beginnings of their relationships. Again, it’s something about how it began on false pretenses, but how it became real and came to mean something to all of them that just really gets to me! I don’t know how to articulate it, the feeling of these people who desperately needed someone, being able to be that to Nol, that even though he’s tried to push them away, to run away, even though they have no explanation for his behavior, they still are there for him when he desperately needs it. I kept waffling for a long time on whether I thought Nol was intending to ghost everyone after prison, going back and forth even as he and Shinae talked in Minhyuk’s room. “Is he telling her this because he doesn’t plan to stick around?” But especially after all of these hospital scenes, I feel pretty confident that’s not his plan. Just like Soushi and Shinae never really intended to accept Nol’s friendship and thought they were fine on their own, I think Nol may be having that moment for himself.

Or, rather, I think he’s at a crossroads and is at war with himself. On the one hand, he doesn’t believe he deserves any of this. The way he talks about his birthday is so SAD; Shinae is right, people don’t talk like that! Was it a difficult pregnancy that Nessa had with Nol? Did his birth cause her harm? Is it just the circumstances he feels guilty for? Maybe he believes she’d be okay if she’d never conceived him? Maybe it’s because of his relation to the Hiraharas? He talks about people stepping on the burger - that definitely feels like it’s about the Hirahraras, taking his existence and making him feel insignificant and wrong, like he shouldn’t exist. But it’s the way he talks about the mistreatment of the cow sent to the slaughterhouse. It sounds like that’s about his mom - which could be the most he’s ever said about her. If his birthday is the burger, then the cow that became the burger would be her, right? I still have so many questions, ngl. Nol clearly has a complicated relationship with the memory of his mother - we know his childhood, before they left home, were his happiest memories, but at the same time, he can’t speak of the happy memories, or really, her at all. I don’t think the guilt is simply that he exists, and there’s more to it, whether it’s misconstrued on his behalf or just more puzzle pieces we’re missing. 

At any rate, Nol carries a heavy weight of guilt and has denied himself any joy or happiness, has never allowed himself to ENJOY things, lest they go awry. Probably like with his mom, and like with Shinae, a connection with him seems to end in danger. Of course, that’s not true - people end up in danger because of their own choices, and the choices of those around them - but again, we are talking about the way Nol views himself and the world. I think this is a big thing, too, because I’ve been thinking a lot about identity and perception lately, but I’ll try to get to that in a moment. 

For so long, Nol has been content with his self-inflicted punishment, but then he accidentally made real friends along the way. His quest to help people went off track. And for a while, he tried to fix that. He pulled away, he stopped responding, he tried to completely and cleanly cut them off, he drew the line and let them know. But here they still stand after it all, and he can’t help but appreciate that. The way my stupid heart flipped when he hugged Dieter and Soushi and told him he loved him. That feels like the most genuine expression we’ve seen on him in a long time - and for him to be so forthright with them, to even use that word at all! This is what makes me feel certain he doesn’t intend to ghost them. Why would he tell them that if he planned to leave? Why would he accept and embrace their friendship if he didn’t want it? And that’s the thing, isn’t it? His internal war is his wants vs what he thinks he deserves. It’s the fear that he brings harm to people, but that DESPERATE LONGING for that closeness. 

Throughout ILY we’ve seen so many times Nol wanted to reach out and denied himself the opportunity, for whatever reason. Countless times he’s reached out to Shinae only to close his hand into a fist and restrain himself. All that loneliness is haunting. I think it’s around the time they went to the arcade that Nol knew these relationships were real, and it was the arrival of Yui that reminded him he can’t do this, he can’t let his guard down, he can’t indulge his desires like this. To have that taste for friendship, for what it feels like to just let go, to be around people who don’t spend all their time trying to tear you apart, to be around people who CHOOSE your company, who CHOOSE to be with you? And then to retreat? He tasted something so sweet but had to give it up.

And now, after everything he’s done, they still show up for him, they still sat by and watched over him, they still came to CELEBRATE him? How can he continue to deny himself this? How can he close his fist and walk away from it? 

But, and my god I realize this is a very verbose point lmao, the point I’m getting at is, in the same way that Soushi and Shinae refused his friendship, in the same way that they thought they were better off on their own, I think Nol is at that same crossroad - is he better off alone? How bad is it, if he indulges just a little? 

I hope he thinks long and hard about what Shinae said very early in the evening, too. Whether or not he believes he puts people in danger, it’s not his call to make. Friendship is a two-way road and they, also, deserve to make their choice, to choose him despite the danger. It wasn’t Nol that put Shinae in danger. Maybe in a convoluted way you could say so - she’d never have called on Kousuke for that favor he owed her for getting Nol to the hospital the night of the masquerade - but regardless, Yui acts on her own. I realize this is not easy for Nol to see, because of what a deep-seated belief this is, but I hope it’s something he’ll consider more and more. 

There’s so much I could write about the birthday party ALONE. How wonderful it was to see them all together again after all this time, the sweet callbacks to their beginnings demonstrating how far they’ve come, how much they mean to each other. Nol is SO loved, and I hope he learns to wear that love as a much needed suit of armor. What does it matter that his family is trash, when this, his found family, makes up for it in so many ways? What does it matter that some people chose to make him feel insignificant, when he has people who choose to celebrate him, and the fact that he’s in their lives? ;~; That little happy smile and blush he wears when Shinae pointedly tells him they want to spend this night making him feel special ;~; It fucks me up lmao like lakjfkjafkjaf I’M GETTING WEEPY WRITING THIS ALL OVER AGAIN LMAO 

NOL DESERVES TO BE CELEBRATED. HE DESERVES TO FEEL SPECIAL. He came into their lives and individually made them all better. There’s an argument to be made that it was Kousuke’s financing that made Soushi’s life better, but we know that HE chooses Nol. That his companionship with Nol makes his life better. If not for Nol, where would they even be? He deserves to be celebrated because he’s brought so much good into other lives! And he deserves a return of that, too. All the good he tried to put into the world to counter the guilt he wears, all the good he denied himself and thus brought to others. GOD. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ;~; I LOVE THEM, I LOVE THIS GANG I hope in the future we get to see more of them, now that we know how close their bond is, how much they mean to each other ;~; 

DIETER’S ORIGAMI DUCKIES AND THE LITTLE BIRTHDAY MESSAGES! THE CALLBACK TO NOL AND THEIR MORNING RUNS AND THE STILLNESS OF THE WATER AND THE DUCKIES ;~; Apologizing that these aren’t the best presents, that there’s no cake, but aren’t they? Isn’t this the best? There’s something about people spending their time and energy to create something for you that REALLY gets to me. Every time a friend hand-makes something for me, I just cry and cry lmao. Maybe origami duckies and happy birtday on a cake isn’t a lot of effort - but the point is that they TRIED. That at the last minute, they came up with something to try to return the kind of friend he’s been to them. They ARE the perfect gifts. What else could he possibly need more than to know that he is important to them and means so much? 

AND THAT WAY HE LOOKS OVER AT SHINAE, THE WAY SHE QUICKLY LOOKS AWAY, THE FLUSTERING, THE LITTLE BUTTERFLIES WE FEEL ON HER BEHALF!!!!! AUGH. 

I find it so cute and funny that Shinae was too shy to give Nol her gift at the same time, feeling that it paled in comparison to Dieter’s duckies, but personally, I think it’s right on par. Just like their messages, Shinae’s gift harkens back to the earliest days of her friendship with Nol, the orange soda she spilled on him, the fear he’s allergic to oranges lol, what she drew on his face the day following at that deli lol “You don’t suck that much” All the way back in episode 4, she told him “You’re a human first. And humans suck.” WHAT A CALLBACK!!!!!!!! Idk like, to me here gift was so on par, but also, it’s something that conveys a sense of feelings and being who she is, I don’t blame her for feeling a little shy about it.

ESPECIALLY COS MY GOD THERE’S SO MUCH SHYNESS IN THIS EPISODE MY GOD!!!!!!!! 

It’s been long established that I am here for the soft shit, the tender shit, for little stolen moments laced with intimacy, stolen little moments of calm in an otherwise turbulent storm. IT’S MY EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! Dieter and Soushi on the spare bed in the room, while Shinae lays her head again on Nol’s bed, the both of them refusing to sleep. Shinae probably fears that he’ll disappear if she sleeps, that he’ll slip through her fingers; Nol probably worries that when he wakes this will be over, the calm, the good feelings. There’s something so TENDER about them trying to delay the inevitable, to stretch the last remining time. And, again, with Dieter and Soushi sleeping (god I hope Dieter is sleeping), everything that follows just feels again like a little stolen moment, just like every other moment they share together. 

The shift in Nol and Shinae’s relationship dynamic is practically palpable. How many times has she gotten flustered over his gaze this night? How many times has she been unable to hold that gaze?! I’m a sucker for this! There’s likely a number of reasons that have brought this reaction out of it. It reminds me a lot of episodes 117 and 118 with the nugget crushing hand holding and the shared music moment - how Shinae marveled over her hands afterward, how she had to go lmao hold Minhyuk’s hand to feel it out. That, and the little flashback snippet of Nol doing her make up at the formal seem to be the times that Shinae has been most affected by Nol, and I think in a lot of ways they resonate with the version of him she knows now. But that’s the other thing. She knows more than Dieter and Soushi do and through that, she’s aware of that significance and I think it’s absolutely affected her. They’ve been so incredibly vulnerable with each other all evening - Shinae being so uncharacteristic and saying so many heartfelt, sentimental things in effort to reach Nol, sharing her story about middle school, the reveal about Alyssa, the little things he’s let slip about his family dynamic. Shinae is already seeing him in a new light, and so much of it is just raw and she’s yet to have a moment to really sit down and take in everything. But also, the GLANCES, his INTENSE expressions. 

I was talking to someone on reddit about this but the thing is - this isn’t Shinae’s first meeting with Nol like this. In so many of their shared moments, this is the person he’s been, letting down his goofy mask, talking seriously with her. The break in at her apartment, the phone call after his family dinner, the scene at the wac, the breakdown on the hospital terrace, the time he gave her his extra taco. Though not as raw as this Nol, the edges softened and blurred more than he is now, she’s come face to face with this iteration of him. It’s the intensity that is so new. And lmao that intensity is what makes him so alike Rand, who made Shinae quiver LMAOOOOOO it’s so funny that this is finally catching up to her, that their appearance is finally frazzling her. But I think it’s a culmination of all of this. There’s an awareness at the tip of her tongue that she’s yet to voice, yet to confront, but she’s certainly acting on it. The stolen glances, the flustered glances away, the way she is so WHOLLY affected. 

It’s only just earlier this week, as far as the timeline goes, that Shiane realized HOW important Nol is to her, HOW scared she is of losing him, how much he means to her. Dieter used the l-word! It’s not a casual friendship. And his significance to her seems to dance along the border between platonic and romance - you can be significant to someone without it being romantic, you can be a person someone doesn’t want to lose without it being romantic. But SHE has to find that significance, she has to figure that out. All this shyness and flustering - is it the newness of this side of Nol, of all this vulnerability shared between them, or is it something more in the ways they bring comfort to each other, the ways they seem to stabilize each others’ world. I don’t think we’ve seen it demonstrated as strongly as we have with Nol, how Shinae’s presence and can center Nol and root him in the present, but I think we’ve seen a few instances of Nol being the same for her. 

This is one of those things about love and romance and friendship that fascinates me. At what point IS it romance? At what point does that friendship turn into “I want more of this I need more of this”? You can receive comfort from so many people, so at what point does it become something romantic?

And I think that’s what Shinae and Nol are toeing. Nol, certainly, is becoming more aware of that affect she has on him, the way she roots him to the present, the way she brings him much needed peace. Does Shinae realize yet the way she seeks him out? Does she realize how much peace she’s also gotten from him? 

And it seems so mutual, the way Nol gives in and indulges in the peace, the way he initiates these little moments of physicality. And it could absolutely be nothing, it could absolutely be just a casual touch amongst friends, except it’s them, and she’s flustered and looking away, and the butterflies seem to dance off the page. It’s the way he looks from her gift, loaded with what began their friendship what brought them into each other’s lives, and looks over at her trying to drown out his reaction, too embarrassed (TOO SHY!!!!!!) to see, that eyeless frame (QUIMCHEE DOES THIS SO MUCH! SO OFTEN! WHEN SHIELDING NOL’S FEELINGS!!!!!!) when he reaches over with his fingers in her hair.

HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT. HE COULD JUST TAP HER SHOULDER. HE COULD JUST SCOOT NEARER. BUT HE DOESN’T. IT’S HIS FINGERS IN HER HAIR, NEAR THE SCAR THAT PUT HER INTO DEFENSE MODE except she’s not, and he’s there, and she can’t look directly at him and he moves in close and it’s so INTIMATE it’s so TENDER it’s like the earbuds sharing moment except somehow even MORE because now she’s aware, NOW the fluttering is there, the stolen glances, the close proximity, the way he relaxes when he’s close to her, the way he is being so much MORE than he’s been before. 

His tapping finger and that coy, flirty, finger dancing?! The way she glances away as her finger dances towards him, on some level aware of what it means what it is a little too shy too coy, he way he hesitantly joins in and it’s something so SILLY so GOOFY such a light, light moment and GOD it’s beautifully done? You can FEEL the flirtiness of it, you can FEEL the little butterflies, the shyness and hesitation. The way Nol’s smile fades and he becomes serious before his finger hooks around hers, the way she thinks he’s playing until she, too, realizes, he’s not UGH. /UGH/ I SCREAM!!!!!!! How is it that a single finger hooked around another makes me scale the walls like this?! It’s such a small thing, but it’s so BOLD, initiating a dance even though he must be in pain! His back?! His body?! He’s not even on morphine ;~; He’s just. ENDURING IT. 

And idk, I never know what’s going through his mind. The dance she offered him that they never got to share. Something more significant than fingers dancing, something that means MORE. 

And again, that’s the thing. I think he’s so at war with himself. He’s still calling her Yoo, but he’s touching and so close and initiating that dance and he can tell himself it doesn’t mean anything, but he already knows. He already figured that out last episode. Soon he’ll be gone and he’ll be away from the people he loves, all alone again, and he’s scared to go. He still can’t bring himself to use her name, he can’t be so familiar with her - and yet is this not a more familiar way of being? I feel like part of is is that feeling of how fleeting this moment is, wanting to capture as much of it as possible, finally acting on what he wants. All those times he’s reached out only to close his fist, and this time he isn’t hesitating, this time he isn’t denying himself. This is what he wants, so he goes for it. 

Will he regret it? I hope he’s far enough beyond his point of no return that he can’t. I hope he’s acting out of clarity that if this is the case, if this is how he feels, then why shouldn’t he allow himself this. Perhaps there’s fear that when he comes back it will all be different, that this will be a fleeting dream and everyone will move on without him. It feels like the cusp of a dream and reality, where you allow yourself to indulge because soon you return to the real world, to the waking nightmare of reality and this will be all you have left to carry with you. 

It feels even more likely when he crumbles when she mentions when he returns. Perhaps it could be that he DOES intend to never come back after he releases, but idk, I guess I’m just so hopeful that’s not the case? It could be a parallel to the hug in the rain, when she asked if any of it was real and he hugged her because it wasn’t until it was and he couldn’t bear to say so. But it also feels so much like he’s afraid. The way he buries his head in her shoulder, his face hidden so she can’t see his emotions, their hands still held at their side feels so much like he’s afraid and doesn’t want to say so, wants to put on a brave face but he can’t. “When he returns” because for a time he will be away and he just had the sweetest taste of calm and when he wakes up from this dream the waking nightmare resumes, he’ll again be all alone and it’s so much harder to go back to alone when you’ve had a taste for this, when you’ve indulged. How can he go back to before, how can he face this new stage alone? 

It’s such a sad little scene, the way they’re standing together, another dance interrupted, but at the same time, there’s something sweet. Very bittersweet, I guess. Maybe it’s just because he’s too weary and hasn’t had it in him to put up the walls again, but to see him, yet again, seeking that comfort in her, allowing himself something he once would have denied himself. Allowing himself to feel his feelings and to comfort himself. 

There’s just so much that is beautiful and painful about this episode. For this to be the first time he’s felt peaceful and calm and he nearly died in order to have this moment? The knowing that he will have to leave, that he’ll have to return to feeling small and insignificant, that he has to face a new fear when he goes to prison, when this little suspended moment in time is all over. While I personally think - or hope - we’ll get to see a positive transformation from Nol while he’s locked up, thanks to the counseling he’ll be going through, it’s still hard to watch him have to leave this. I don’t want to romanticize his sentence by any means lol but I do think being away from his family, away from the people who chip away at him and tear him down, can give him so peace to confront what he hasn’t been able to. I don’t think it will be a total transformation of any kind - just the necessary first steps. Nol needs to be away from the Hiraharas, and to learn to see the worth in himself. 

I mentioned this earlier in this post, but I’ve been thinking a LOT about perception of self, and how others see us. For instance, the version of me that I intimately know, that exists to me, doesn’t necessarily exist to others. Likewise, there are people who will see me in very different ways than I see myself, and it’s not that they don’t know me well, it’s just that we all are different people to everyone we know. We’re multifaceted and shaped by our experiences, but also by our actions and how we’ve affected the people with whom we interact. 

Nol sees himself as a villain, as a monster, as someone who needs to be punished. But that’s not the version of him that Shinae knows, or Dieter or Soushi, either. To them, he’s a hero, he’s someone who does good. Shinae described him as the sun and while I think that’s partly because of his bright smile and bubbly personality as Yeonggi, I think it’s also in the way that he can make things a little better for everyone. Nol has never been able to see himself the way others see him, though, because he’s so pre-occupied with the version of himself he knows, the one that’s been so heavily influenced by the Hiraharas. That he’s a mistake, that he shouldn’t exist, that everything would be better without him. And because he can’t see those versions of himself, he can’t see that it’s not true. Shinae certainly wouldn’t be better off without him, nor would Soushi or Dieter. BECAUSE he’s in their lives, they are better off. And that’s what he needs to learn to see, to reconcile with the version of him that exists. Because sure, that’s part of him. Maybe it’s not correct, but it’s a part of his identity. But so is the version of him that exists to his friends. So is the version of him that Nana loves. And obviously, it’s not so easy to wake up to those sides, because of how overwhelming this version of him is. But I hope that time away from the people who feed into that image, with some counseling might help him start to clear that away and better see himself for who he is, all the multitudes that he is. 

Because here’s the thing - people contain a range of good and bad, that’s what makes us human. Our choices ultimately define that, but so do our circumstances. This is why I can offer empathy towards characters like Kousuke and Alyssa who have made choices that we wouldn’t consider right, but make sense for their circumstances. Nol contains so much darkness, but he also contains so much light. Maybe he’s not as radiant as Yeonggi - but maybe it’s only because he hasn’t had the chance to be. Who could he be with a break from the people who tear him apart? Who could he be away from their influence? That’s what I’m keen to see, and that’s why I think he’s not intending to leave everyone after prison - or at least not GHOST people. Maybe he does need to get physically away, go to college abroad, but that doesn’t mean he’d be abandoning his friends this time. 

Nol’s real family sucks. But this family - his found family - they can bring him the joy and happiness he deserves, even before he thinks he deserves it. Again, maybe I’m just being really hopeful, but I just feel like this is a significant, defining moment for him, hopefully the beginning of him realizing he’s allowed to indulge, he’s allowed the same comfort he’s offered to others. 

Gosh what a tangent lol I know this post would be a mess. I JUST. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. I have sooooooo many disorganized feelings seeing Nol like this, how sad I feel how happy I feel how much my stupid heart pitter patters over his interactions with Shinae. The callback to the dance at the formal where she was so uncomfortable (BUT NOW! NOW! SHE’S NOT!!!!!!) the teasing about her dancing, and he WILL miss her. HE’LL MISS HER! UGH /GOD/ 

But boy do I hope Dieter is fast asleep lmao ;~; I don’t think Shinae or Nol are ready to face what is unfolding, but Dieter reads them so well, he’s aware of things before they are. He knows what he is, for lack of better word “competing” against, and I think maybe he even knows it’s a losing battle. He made his move and she turned him down and I think he’s accepted her friendship with grace and delight - getting to know her better, getting to grow closer to her than he ever thought. And god, isn’t it painful to watch her and know that she seems to be drawn somewhere else, that it’s nothing you can do anything about? Because Dieter loves Nol, too. He probably understands how someone would be drawn to him at all! And while I think Dieter is a character who would handle things with grace, it would still hurt. I don’t think Shinae and Nol are a thing that, if they ever happen, would do so any time soon, and by that time I like to think Dieter would be over Shinae in that way, that they’d be close friends still, that they’d be people who root for each other and want the best for each other. But for him to have that awareness NOW, ugh the pain. He’s already taken note of the way she is with Nol vs how she is with him, the way she was so overwrought when they found out about all the secrets and lies, when they found her crying in the rain. 

I DON’T WANT HIM TO GO THROUGH THAT DAMNIT ;A; 

But we are definitely at this point where it’s a little too obvious to deny, a little too obvious to look away from. Any attempt at earning Shinae’s affection feels like you’re competing with something else. Even if she’s not ready to face it and admit it yet, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Whether or not it’s romantic or not is for her to decide, but for us as readers, we know that it’s something significant, that they have a mutual effect on each other that’s undeniable. There is so much trust shared between them now - despite it all, she trusts him, and he knows now that he can trust and rely on her, too. And as an outsider, it’s just obvious that something is there, however that something is defined. It’s not a stretch to say that Nol takes a priority, that she will at this point push things aside for him. 

Even romance aside, I think this is a dynamic we’ll be seeing a lot of going forward, because Nol still is not fast to open up to people and to rely on them. Trusting Shinae like this, letting her in to this more vulnerable side, I think defines a lot of their relationship to come as they evolve. Maybe Nol will leave and go abroad and maybe Shinae will date other people in that time, but I think we’ll see that Nol maintains a special place in her heart, that will be difficult for a lot of people to compare to. How do you compare to someone who has these experiences with her, who has developed a bond through these trials and tribulations lol? 

GOD. 

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS I JUST. WANNA!!!!!!!! SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[ofallthingsnasty]

I'd theirs ever a question on what sanji likes on a woman its a automatic yes he just loves woman and probally men

Us: What kind of woman do you like, Sanji? 🥺👉👈

Sanji: Yes.

[fluffydice]

This might be a niche crossover but I keep thinking about kubosai in the Octarian Army from Splatoon,,, or for something more people might get, kubosai in the Horde.

Essentially I just need child soldier kubosai I think, which is normal to want I feel

[killthefuhkinglights]

big thank you to @bongwaterfrank for making this initial post for chubby frank appreciation <3

i’ve seen some folks making their own versions of this post and including frimages where he is not bigger and is in fact still a skinny little twink, so maybe we don’t do that :) when we’re talking about appreciating him when he gained weight :)

anyway! here’s my chubby frank appreciation post and some photos that i love where frank looks soft and squeezable and oh so bitable :)

enjoy! <3

[sunsetsandsunshine]

We've seen people talk about:

"Boys with ticklish stomachs."

But what about...

"Tomboys/Athletic girls with firm toned stomachs/abs being insanely ticklish there.And being super embarrassed about it"

I remember during the earlier days of having this fixation I would search and look through any online forums relating to tickling/ticklishness or talking about the quirks or struggles of being ticklish/having certain tickle spots, whether people's comments were negative, positive, funny, wholesome or neutral. I also remember one particular thread I found about belly tickling, and one person added this story-

"I have a friend who is a monster about exercising. She does like a million crunches and for the decade plus that I have know her her belly has been rock hard...for that same time period I have proven time and time again that she is still ticklish no matter how much she works out! My favorite time I had her in her chair on her mother's porch...I was using the "claw" on the stomach and she was a giggling wreck! LOL! She went to silent laughter and I had to let up before she wet herself! I don't see her as much as I used to, but I still get a kick out of it!"

Honestly that is just the cutest thing in the world to me! ☺ (I can only imagine what raspberries would do to her~ 😈🤭)

It'd be nice to see more artists or writers in the community exploring this concept. Just my thoughts. 🙂

SCREAM IT YELL IT SHOUT IT HOLLER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wellcollapse]

hypothetical Eddie coming out first sandbox. Buck is still acting insane because of that behaviour was about Eddie and not anyone else, but Eddie doesn't really see it like that because that's just Buck, and Eddie knows Buck's Issues and he gets it, that he's going to have to be a bit reassuring to get it through Buck's head again because he gets a little dense.

Anyway. It's a little like canon where he's being wooed and being taken to fights and vegas etc. maybe this guy clocks Buck's behaviour and makes a comment that he's not sure he could ever still be that close with an ex--Eddie doesn't really catch it, not until later, after the guy finally makes a move and tries to kiss him, because then Eddie's laid awake at night turning it over in his head and reexamining every single interaction they had. He realises he's basically been dating this guy, thinks back to how he'd described Chris' date "like when he hangs out with his guy friends". He maybe panics and then represses that panic. Breaks up with Marisol the next day--feels like a hypocrite for lecturing Chris earlier on. He's stopped talking to the guy, but he instead spends the better part of a week analysing everything and living in his head trying to figure it all out. Buck clocks that something's wrong, presses to make sure he's okay. Eddie blurts out that he thinks he's queer, because Buck has always been able to get him to spill his guts with just a look.

Eventually he starts talking about it with others, maybe at a dispatch catch-up or something he ends up talking to May and she talks about Michael and how now she's got Bobby and David in her life. Reassures him that it won't end Chris' world. Eddie sort of realises how he feels about Buck then, but maybe not fully--because he can't picture anyone else but Buck as a bonus dad like Bobby or David for Chris

all of this!!!! i definitely agree that tommy would still clock buck and eddie’s dynamic in this universe LMAO and i love the idea of tommy’s observation completely going over eddie’s head bc he thinks that what he has with buck is just Normal Boybestie Behavior™️

and i’m obsessed with your eddie-may conversation!!! i’ve read a lot of fic where eddie talks to michael but honestly i think this would be even more healing for eddie because imo he’d be much comfortable talking to her than a relative stranger (dispatch eddiemay i miss you…) AND he’d benefit from hearing the perspective of the child in a situation like this. 10/10 no notes!!!!!

[larsnicklas]

[231229 CAN VS. SWE] the juniorkronorna extend their perfect slate as they hold canada scoreless in a 2-0 win; goaltender hugo hävelid posts his second shutout of the tournament, making 21 saves along the way

[eeblouissant]

[If you're not taking anons about this just ignore this ~<3] completely agree about Dorothy, especially her having insecurities about being seen as masculine and how she voices it during the show so many times. I always headcanoned it as a big reason she never addressed her sexuality; when people aren't calling her an ugly man they're saying she's a lesbian directly because of certain traits and features she has, it makes sense she'd reject that part of herself because its tied to decades of painful remarks on top of everything else. And I do think it could be genuinely triggering for her to be expected to be masculine or want to perform certain acts in that sense - the idea that even someone who seems to understand her and want her and love still doesn't see her as a woman. Ofc those things aren't tied together in reality but you could make a solid case for why they would be to Dorothy.

anon anon anon !!!!! You’ve completely read my mind & looked into my soul here - you get me !!!!!!!!

10/10 no notes honestly (and omg nooo !!! ask away always always <33) butttt you mentioned something I hadn’t thought of before so I must talk about it!!!; the topic of her sexuality also being upsetting for this reason. holy, you are right on the money I think. Even now, when lots of people think of the word lesbian we have been taught to think of masculine traits. I cannot imagine what it was like then - if now we’ve come so far, & yet….

This makes me think of Jean, Dorothy’s (arguably life long, I mean - since college??!! quite the strong bond they’ve got) friend. She doesn’t present “stereotypically lesbian” at all. She’s like textbook femme!! I wonder if how big of a part she’s played in Dorothy’s life has anything to do with that. I wonder if she envy’s her? Because here’s jean, an open, & proud lesbian. Whom you’d never suspect because “she could have any man she wants?!” - and then there’s Dorothy. Tall, broad shoulders, “manly hips” (among many, many other cruel insults - I actually really hate hate hate the pearls or chain scene a lot.) Dorothy. Whom everyone automatically assumes is a lesbian - but never for the right or respectful reasons? It’s always used on her as an insult or to further push on her insecurities ??!! like Jesus. Makes sense she’d never want to uncover that. Also makes me want to headcanon her being unlabelled too instead of using strong labels - I’m getting the vibe now that she kind of just ?? wants to love & be loved ?? like deep down she’d know that she’s strictly into women and what that means / labels it comes with but tbh? labels might be upsetting for her also. Especially when they’ve been used to hurt and bash her for so many years. many thoughts …

I really do NOT fuck with all those scenes where they gang up on Dorothy like I really cannot express it enough, no wonder it began to actually affect Bea in real life to the point she chose to leave because of it (among other reasons yes I know, but when I saw that this was one I just about cried)

Anyway, just makes me think about Dorothy thinking about how jean does it. The jealousy, the angst potential, all that good stuff.

I also have to comment on - YES. Yes yes yes !!! I also agree that it is gen triggering for her to be expected to be masculine / seen that way / dress that way / etc etc etc !!!!! constant bullying will do that to you !!!!! I wanted to say something similar in that post on my side acc but I wasn’t sure if it would have been taken the right way :’) like, wearing the strap?? absolutely out of the question !!!!!!! thank you for speaking my innermost thoughts <3333

In conclusion Dorothy’s queen of the pillow princesses in my head im v glad (and shocked tbh 😭) you guys are seeing the vision ??!! thank u <3

[ruvviks]

nahhh ur right tho about the chain posting, unless it's mutuals or followers of mine idgaf, but they have the decency to make their own post. not only are chain rbs clogging up the dashboard they also take away attention from op's characters and it's like. don't do that. unless someone gave you permission ofc, but I thought it was common tumblr etiquette to NOT to hog people's OC posts, and yet here we are. it's rude, it sucks, you're taking away someone else's creation and making it about yourself. why is it so hard to understand for some of these people? like read the fucking room

YEAH 😭😭😭 just in general i think it's good practice to like. ask for permission for things like this?? i dunno i would NEVER just randomly start a chain rb from someone else's post without asking or explicit permission especially if the OP in question is basically a stranger ;_;