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cherryflavoured7777 · 11 months

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Do you miss me, dear? [h.c]

Summary: Stuck at a graduation party, surrounded by memories of your past relationship and your own loneliness, your night takes an unexpected turn when you find yourself dialing the number of the one person you vowed you wouldn't contact.

Pairing: College!Hazel x College!Fem!Reader

Contains: smut 18+ only, explicit language, drinking, smoking, mutual pining, slightly toxic reader I think, fingering (r! receiving), oral(r! receiving), break-up/make-up sex, idiots in love, this one gets straight-up MUSHY I’m not gonna lie

Word count: 4.1k

a/n: I just need to say I am deeply obsessed with all of you who interacted with either of my last two fics. reading your comments/ replies seriously makes me SO happy you have no idea. Got me giggling and shit fr! I don’t know why my writing always ends up including partying and drinking but maybe it’s because I just graduated college and am having an existential post-grad crisis. Anyway 💀I hope you enjoy and thank you again for reading!!!

Also, this is inspired by this song by one of my favourite bands:

“I don’t know what I’m still doing here.” You say out loud to yourself, standing up from the musty green couch you were sitting on. An empty beer bottle falls from the cushion onto the ground, shattering into pieces beside your foot.

This party sucked. Pushing your way through the crowded, stuffy kitchen, you couldn't shake off the feeling of suffocation. Tipsy couples entangled in each other's arms seemed to be everywhere, a painful reminder of what you once had and lost. The memories of being that annoying person in love at a party flooded back, amplifying the ache of your loneliness.

The thumping music in your ears only made your head pound harder. Desperate for a breath of fresh air, you stumbled toward the door, ignoring the intoxicated laughter and clinking glasses that filled the air. As you stepped outside, the cool night breeze hit your face, offering a momentary rescue from the overwhelming atmosphere inside.

The darkness of the night sky above seemed to swallow you whole, but it felt strangely comforting. Leaning against the porch railing, you closed your eyes, trying to regain your composure. In the silence outside, you could hear distant laughter and the faint sound of music, muffled by the walls of the house.

You settled into a seat around a glass table, next to a guy you recognized from one of your classes. You exchanged a quick nod of acknowledgment before reaching into your purse, retrieving a box of cigarettes. Smoking was not a regular habit for you, but you reserved it for moments like these—after a few drinks and a growing sense of irritation.

You lit the end of the cigarette, watching it crackle, and took a long drag. As you exhaled the smoke, you tilted your head back, noticing the full moon glowing brightly above.

"Full moon tonight," the boy beside you remarked, his voice carrying a note of intrigue. "They say some crazy shit can happen on full moons."

You chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, well, that could explain why I'm stuck at this party right now."

He leaned back, studying you intently.

“I wish I could be an astronaut and get the fuck out of here.” You mused, gaze fixed on the bright glow of the moon. "I only came to this party because she said she would be here." Another drag of the cigarette punctuated your words.

"Who's she?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"My ex," you replied, trying to seem nonchalant. His gaze was fixed on you, "Hazel."

Until today, you hadn't spoken to Hazel in over three months, choosing to cut off all contact in an attempt to speed up the process of moving on. You're both surprised that you managed to endure the silence for so long, and disappointed that she hasn't made any effort to reach out, not even once.

That was until about six hours ago when you were sitting at a coffee shop on campus with your roommate, Brittany, studying for your upcoming statistics exam.

"Don't look now, but Hazel just walked in," she whispers, her tone hushed, and her eyes widening. "And she's with another girl."

Your heart plummeted into your stomach. You were seated with your back to the door, and you watched as they both approached the corner, heading in your direction.

"Brittany!" the blonde girl accompanying Hazel exclaims, leaving the three of you momentarily stunned.

Hazel follows a few steps behind, clearly taken aback by the encounter. She looked annoyingly hot, her disheveled brown hair, baggy white t-shirt and black jeans, adorned with her signature silver chains and rings. It takes all your strength not to stare.

"Hey, Amanda," Brittany replied, forcing a polite smile. "Hazel."

Hazel offers a nod in greeting to Brittany and then to you. You feel like a middle-schooler again, awkward and unsure of how to act around your crush.

"Did you manage to finish that paper for Professor Sharpe's class?" the girl asked.

As Brittany carries on the conversation with Amanda, you can feel Hazel's gaze on you, catching her eyes occasionally.

You never anticipated the aftermath of your breakup with Hazel to be this awkward. All those nights spent tangled up together, where you both believed you could read each other's minds, now reduced to this.

"So, Hazel, are you going to Emma’s graduation party tonight? All of us are going," Brittany chimed in, attempting to steer the conversation away from the obvious tension.

Hazel smiled sheepishly, replying, "Yeah, I’m going."

"Cool," Brittany replied, her smile masking the underlying awkwardness in the air.

A beat of uncomfortable silence hung between you all.

"Will you be there?" Hazel asked breaking the silence, turning toward you, her voice almost hesitant.

"Yeah, I'll be there," you said, mustering a small smile. "Wouldn’t want to miss it."

Hazel smiled, "Cool," she said, her voice soft, "I'll see you there then."

Just as the atmosphere began to ease, Amanda abruptly intervened, her grip firm on Hazel's hand. "Hazel, let’s go, I forgot something in my car," Amanda said, her tone strangely possessive, and she dragged Hazel away before you could utter another word.

This breadcrumb of information has led you here. You spent the first fifteen minutes at the party searching for her like a lost puppy. When you couldn't find her, you contemplated leaving but opted to drown your thoughts with tequila shots instead. Now, you're clinging to any scrap of attention you can find, desperately trying to purge her from your mind.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the male voice beside you. "D’you have a light?" he asked, his cigarette aimed in your direction. You stare at him for a moment, deadpan, still frozen in your thoughts from the events that unfolded earlier today.

"Fuck it," you muttered under your breath, reaching for your phone. You’re calling her.

“You’re soaked,” Hazel says as you climb into the front seat of her car, her tone a mix of concern and annoyance. “Seriously, you’re getting mud all over the floor of my car.” While you were waiting for Hazel to pick you up from the party, It started raining, you thought enduring it outside would be better than being stuffed in that small house full of people you didn't even really know.

“You lied.” You retort back.

“What?”

“You said you were coming to the party.”

“Yeah well, my plans changed. Put your seatbelt on.” As she shifted the car into reverse, she placed her hand on your seat to steady herself. With a quick glance over your shoulder, she backed out of the driveway in one brisk movement.

You attempted to keep your composure, trying not to make it entirely obvious that you were basically drooling over how hot she looked doing that.

“I can tell that there’s someone else,” You say after a few moments of silence, trying to disguise your jealousy with innocent curiosity. “Come on, tell me,” You finally click your seatbelt into place. “I can take it well.”

"Oh, I know you can," she replied, shooting you a smug look, trying to divert this conversation from getting too deep right now.

“Hazel.” You groan at her dumb attempt at an innuendo, throwing your head backward and hitting the headrest. “Just be honest. Is it the girl from the coffee shop earlier? Or what about the girl Isabel saw you with last week at the library? Or both? Who am I kidding, there’s probably even more than that.”

“Do you have like, personal spies assigned to watch over me?”

You don’t respond right away, deciding to avoid her questions like she’s avoiding yours. You crank the window open and throw your head out. The spring wind cool on your face.

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes.”

She’s quiet for a moment.

Look, I know I wasn't where I said I'd be, but I was busy, doing stuff," she replied defensively.

"Yeah," you scoffed, your words tinged with a hint of anger. "I'm sure you were."

You sit the next few minutes in silence, wondering if this whole thing was a bad idea. You couldn't pinpoint why you had called her in the first place. The intensity of seeing her earlier mixed with the disappointment of the lackluster party had left you missing her, even though you weren't entirely sure why.

"So, where am I taking you?" Hazel asked, her gaze shifting from the road to you. Strands of her brown hair were tousled by the wind.

Your buzz had faded, and with it, your initial courage waned. Swallowing hard, you hesitated before speaking. "Can I sleep at yours? Not— not like that," you hurriedly clarified, feeling a sudden need to explain. "It's just that Brittany has her new boyfriend over, and I could go back there, but I don’t really want to."

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.”

After a moment, Hazel hesitantly rested her hand on your thigh, both of you aware of the significance of the touch, even if neither acknowledged it. Her fingers gave a gentle squeeze, the subtle pressure made your tummy flip. Beneath the surface, an unspoken understanding lingered, hinting that this night might entail more than just a ride home.

Hazel's apartment is full of brown moving boxes, an aching reminder of why you broke up in the first place.

“Wow, this place is pretty much all packed up.” You say, slowly walking through the place, eventually landing at the doorway into her bedroom.

She nods in response, her face reflecting a mixture of anticipation and sadness, settling down at the end of her bed.

"So, when do you leave?" The question weighed heavily on your heart as you voiced it. You wished you didn't have to ask these questions, yearning for a time when you were part of her plans, not just a spectator.

“Two weeks. My Aunt is gonna meet me at JFK and help me move into my new place.”

You sighed, feeling brave, "I wish I had the date circled on my calendar, helping you move, or going with you." You say the last part quiet, mostly to yourself.

The conversation lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

You walked over to her dresser, where a mirror was propped up, decorated with photos of you two from a photobooth, still clinging to the glass. Your heart swelled with mixed emotions.

Hazel says your name, breaking you from your trance.

“Come here,” she says.

You walk over slowly, standing between her legs. Your hands rest on her shoulders and you take a deep breath.

With both of your gazes locked, her hands came up behind your thighs, gently grabbing them and pulling them on either side of her one by one so you’re straddling her. Her hand comes up to brush a piece of hair from your face.

“You’re so beautiful, baby” Her voice is barely a whisper as she stares up at you, her eyes practically shimmering with your reflection, Her hands settle on your waist, the warmth of her touch sending a pang of guilt through you. This breakup was unlike any you'd experienced before, and the raw emotions lingered, making you hesitate for a moment.

Your hands move up to cradle her face, your thumb dragging on her bottom lip. Still maintaining intense eye contact, you slowly slip your finger into her mouth, watching her with a mix of awe and longing.

The silence as you stare at each other is anything but awkward. It was charged with the weight of shared mourning, each of you navigating the complexity of a relationship's end.

You removed your finger, and in response, she grabbed your head gently, guiding it down towards her face, her eyes locked onto yours. Your lips barely grazed each other, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she could hear your rapid heartbeat. Hazel kissed you slowly at first, the touch of her lips sending a rush through your entire body. It quickly escalated, and there was a certain neediness to the way you both kissed, scared it could be the last time.

"Missed you," She whispered against your lips. Your mouths slid together, tongues pressing and exploring. The intensity of the kiss speaks volumes, like you were making up for lost time. Her lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, lingering kisses, setting your body on fire.

“Fuck, Hazel.” It was almost embarrassing how quickly you melted beneath her touch. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” You say, your voice strained, a soft moan escaping your lips. You very much wanted to be doing this, you just thought you should at least try to seem like you had stronger breakup morals than you did. Her hands found the curve of your ass, and you instinctively started to rock your hips slowly back and forth, seeking some much-needed friction.

"Do you want me to stop? Say the word, and I'll stop, pretty girl," she murmured against your neck, her open-mouthed kisses and gentle suction on your pulse point sending shivers down your spine. You didn't reply with words, but your fingers found her hair, silently urging her to continue. "I need an answer, babygirl,"

"Don't stop," you breathed, your voice catching in your throat. "Please, don't stop." Your hips still lazily moving on her. Her mouth was back on yours, deepening the kiss as she guided you both down, her hands roaming over the back of your legs and your ass. She tugged at the hem of your shirt, helping you out of it and leaving you in your black lace bra.

"So fucking perfect. Missed you so fucking much," she confessed,

"I missed you too, Haze, every day," you whined,

"You ever think about me? she asked, breathless. "About this?" she continued

You nodded, your breath hitching as you confessed, "All the time. Couldn't stop thinking about you, your hands, your mouth."

Her eyes darken as you sit up and effortlessly unhook your bra, leaning back down, your lips finding their way to her collarbone, marking a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses along her skin. Your hands slowly creep their way up under her shirt, seeking permission. She nods, a silent affirmation, and you gently peel her shirt off over her head. Your stomach flips as you feel her arms effortlessly turn both of you over, trading places, landing on your back as she hovers over you. Her silver chain dangling above your face. It felt like your first time all over again, you felt a sense of shyness creeping over you under her gaze. Anticipation and excitement blooming in your chest.

“Fuck, look at you.” She says. The way she’s studying you makes you feel like the most beautiful thing to ever exist, as if every curve of your body is a masterpiece deserving of praise. Unable to contain your impatience, you pull her head down to meet your lips, your hips instinctively bucking up, frustration showing in the heated moment. Her fingers start to trail downwards under your skirt, meeting your clothed cunt. “You want me to fuck you? Hm?” She whispers in your ear, “Is that what you want baby?” She taunts, her fingers slowly grazing over your underwear.

You nod vigorously, your enthusiasm evident. She responds by sucking on your neck again, sending shivers down your spine, your face flushed with heat. Your hands instinctively tug at her hair.

“Yes, Haze, please, fuck.” You arch your neck, pressing it firmly into the softness of the pillow beneath, a small gasp escaping your lips as you surrender to the moment. “Want your fingers inside of me.”

She makes a noise of desperation, her warm breath fanning over your face. “Gonna make you feel so good baby” She moves your underwear to the side, running her fingers through your slick folds. You gasp and she groans. “Wanna make it up to you.”

She tugs at the waistband of your skirt. You lift your hips as she guides it down along with your underwear. Hazel curses under her breath, “You’re so wet, it’s so fucking hot.” She plants kisses all over your chest, each one feeling like it could set you on fire.

She slowly fucks you with her middle finger, the touch leaving you reeling. She adds her ring finger, her free hand snaking under your neck. Her fingers gently grab the side of your face while she fucks you, slightly tugging and grazing them against your parted lips. It's an intimate gesture, conveying both tenderness and desire.

Your hips buck up to meet her fingers. “Holy fuck” you groan as she pumps them faster into you. “Like that,” your voice is completely shot. Your entire body fizzed from the contact. You gently bite down on her fingers near your mouth while she places kisses all over your cheeks and your lips. Your head spun with thoughts of her - her mouth, her hair, her scent, Hazel was everywhere, all-encompassing.

“Fuck, you’re so good” She half slurs, her voice wrecked, pupils blown and her lips parted. “So good for me.” She whispers, keeping her pace, dragging her digits through the wetness at your core.

Her mouth makes its way down your body, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses until she’s on her stomach between your thighs. Pumping faster, her lips suck at your clit. Her other hand presses down on your abdomen, holding you in place. You cup your aching tits, feeling them move with every motion she makes.

“Hazel,” you whine, “Haze, I-” Her fingers pick up the pace, curling inside of you. You tread your fingers through her hair, tugging slightly, the coil in your tummy growing tighter and tighter.

“I know, honey, I know,” She says in response to your moans. “You sound so pretty baby, missed those sounds so much.” She keeps babbling, telling you how good you are and how pretty you look for her.

“Fuck, don’t stop” you moan as she continues fucking you with her mouth and fingers, her pace alternating between teasing and fast, pushing you toward the edge. The contrast in her movements intensifies the pleasure, almost giving you want you want but flaking at the last moment, it’s torture.

“Shit, you’re almost there sweetheart” Hazel swears under her breath, voice laced with her own arousal. Her words drive you closer to the edge. You swear you can see stars as the overwhelming feeling shocks through your body. Your heart rate picks up immensley, pounding in your chest.

“Gonna come for me baby, yeah?” “Want you to come all over these fingers.”

And you did. Your body clenches around her fingers, trembling, moans and curses spilling from your lips. Your eyes form with tears from the overstimulation. Her face landed in the crook of your neck, planting sloppy kisses and whispering reassurances as she guides you through the climax.

“Good girl, that’s it, honey. That’s it,” she murmurs.

Her fingers still slowly pumping in and out of you, riding out your high.

“Holy shit," you say once you've caught your breath. "Haze, c'mere." She lifts her head back up and you yank her face down to yours, tasting yourself on her lips as she lets out a soft moan. When you eventually pull away, both breathless, you lock eyes before bursting into disbelieving laughter.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You whisper.

"I can," she says smugly. You playfully shove her before she collapses beside you. Both of you lie face to face, studying each other's features, committing them to memory, afraid you might forget what they look like. Her hand rests on your waist, mindlessly grazing up and down.

"What's the real reason you didn't come to the party? You ask. Were you with someone else?" Hazel shakes her head.

She pauses before speaking, "I thought if there was any chance of you being there, that I was gonna walk in and maybe see you with someone else. There was no way I could've handled that. I've been distracting myself with other girls, yeah, but..." Her voice trails off. "You have no idea how in love with you I still am." Her voice cracking with emotion. You can see a tear forming in Hazel’s eye, glimmering in the low light of the room.

“Hazel..” Your own voice slightly breaking. You reach out and drag your thumb delicately against her cheek, wiping the stray tear away. Your heart is breaking with a mixture of guilt and longing for the girl lying beside you.

“I still play pretend, in my head.” She whispers.

You smile, your hand resting on her neck, giving it a gentle squeeze, a signal of encouragement for her to keep going.

“I picture us, living together in our apartment in the city.”

Hazel was moving to New York City to work for her aunt after graduation. The reason you broke up, neither of you wanting to do long distance.

“Waking up next to you everyday, cooking you breakfast, fucking you on the countertop for hours” You both laugh at that. “Ever since I met you, I’ve always pictured you just being there. And these past few months…”

“Absolute hell.” You finish for her.

“Absolute hell.” She agrees.

You take her hand and squeeze it, a silent form of reassurance.

She shifts slightly and hovers over you again, brushing your damp hair off your forehead with her hand, and scans your face. “I don’t want this to end” she whispers.

You wish you could capture this moment, tuck it away, and replay it whenever you wanted. You’ve been waiting for her to say these exact words for the past three months, you just never thought it would happen. The reason for your break-up still heavily taunts the back of your mind.

“I love you” you reply, your voice barely a whisper. Taking her face in your hand and capturing her in another kiss. She kisses you sweetly and desperately.

You pull away, gently coaxing her back towards you, and cuddle her into your chest, assuming the role of the big spoon.

She nestles into your arms, finding comfort in the warmth of your body. With a soft sigh, she murmurs, "I wish we had more time.”

You tighten your hold around her, "We'll figure something out, I promise," you whisper, though you aren’t even sure of the reality of your own words. You choose to let go of the uncertainties, preferring to revel in the present moment. She looks back at you, and you kiss her forehead, a silent promise to cherish what you have, even if time feels fleeting.

“God damn full moon.” You mutter to yourself, remembering your earlier conversation at the party.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” You say. “Don’t worry about it.” You kiss her shoulder, settling into the softness of the moment.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

tagging @astroph1les @vster0769

#hazel callahan #bottoms 2023 #hazel callahan imagine #hazel callahan x reader #bottoms movie #hazel bottoms #hazel callahan fanfic #ruby cruz #wlw #sapphic #Spotify

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lokischocolatefountain · 1 year

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Separation

Series Masterlist

Fandom: Narcos

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Rating: 18+ (*slaps the roof of this fic* This bad boy can fit so much smut, angst and fluff in it)

Word count: 8.4k words wtf

Summary: The last time Javier Peña saw his wife was almost three weeks ago in Steve Murphy’s apartment. He’d finally done it. He’d fucked up the only good thing in his life, driven her away with his neglect.

A/N: Why is it that whenever I write Javi, there’s angst? What is it about this beautiful pathetic man with big brown eyes (and big strong arms) that makes me want to hurt and comfort him? Also, if any of you want to be tagged the next time I post Javi (or just husband Javi) lmk and I’ll make a tag list.

The last time Javier Peña saw his wife was in Steve Murphy’s apartment, holding a sleeping baby Olivia Murphy on her lap as she consoled an anxious Connie Murphy. That night, he’d finally brought his partner home to his wife and child. Relieved, he went home only to find a note from his wife by his bedside informing him that she would be staying with a friend for a while. No explanations, no phone calls. Just a note.

That was almost three weeks ago.

Her side of the bed stayed untouched. Her bedside table was unusually empty without her novel of the week on it. When he reached out for her in his sleep, his heart craving the familiar comfort of her touch, he found it cold and empty. He’d wake up with a start, unaccustomed to an empty bed even though he’d spent all his bachelor life before her sleeping by himself. It was as though married life had been a cruel fantasy he was awoken from to be forced back into the reality of his lonely existence.

No matter how many times he longed to call her friend’s landline, he couldn’t bring himself to dial the number. She’d been by his side ever since he asked her to move in with him. Undying loyalty, a shoulder to lean on, a body to hold when he awoke from nightmares. She deserved a break from him.

The refrigerator sometimes had boxes of meals for him, his whiskey glass was chilled, her laundry done and dried for him to fold up. Dishes left in the sink for him to wash. He had a wife and she did come by the apartment but never when he was there too. She’d been like a ghost, slipping in and out and probably through walls without his notice.

Their anniversary came and went. Still no sign of her.

It wasn’t their wedding anniversary. It was the anniversary of their first date. That was not something they celebrated like they did their wedding anniversary but her absence made him remember and it fucking stung.

He’d finally done it. He’d fucked up the only good thing in his life, driven her away with his neglect. She gave him everything and asked for nothing. Not even the bare minimum. Her parents had begged her for a proper wedding and he couldn’t even give her that. She married him at the embassy and went home alone in the short white dress she bought herself from a regular store as he went off on some fucking raid that ended up failing anyway. She watched as her friends had weddings and baby showers and children while he kept her stuck in the same place in life.

And she was finally gone. After putting up with everything, she’d slowly disappeared from his life without him even noticing it.

Javi found himself outside her classroom. He’d walked into the English Literature department, opened her drawer and checked her schedule, ignoring the questioning staff with the same practiced authority he had as DEA agent.

For the first time, he took in the force that was Professor Peña in action. He knew she was a fucking genius. But to see her command the classroom’s attention was something else.

On one of their first nights together, he’d put his head on her lap and closed his eyes as she played with her hair and asked her unashamedly to read her book out loud to him. He had a reputation of being an asshole, of sleeping around a lot. There was an image of him being a callus man who hopped from one bed to the next. It couldn’t be further from the truth. He gave bits and pieces of his heart to every woman he slept with, he asked personal questions, kissed foreheads and comforted them over their troubles. He lied on the lap of the woman he would one day marry and asked her to read him a bedtime story of how Anna Karenina fell out of love with Alexei and in love with Vronsky. Javier may have been an asshole in others’ eyes, but on her lap, he was the man who kept his parents’ easy intimacy in the back of his head as he looked up at her and wondered if he could have something like that with her.

As she engaged the classroom in a discussion about Frankenstein’s creation, he witnessed everyone around him fall for her just as he did. He watched as she pulled them into discussions and got them involved in passionate debates amongst themselves about the nature of the creature. She was the perfect leader, knowing just how to steer the large group, get the stubborn young people to question their world views and lead them to answers to questions they didn’t even know they had.

She was a wonder.

If this was all he could have of her, he would take it. If she wouldn’t come home to him anymore, he would show up to her classes and sit in the back seat just to hear her voice and see her eyes twinkle with passion.

She didn’t notice him, her attention reserved for the students who asked questions and argued their points passionately. He had to wait until they’d all submitted their papers to her and had a little conversation to continue their discussions. He’d never seen students so reluctant to leave a classroom. He couldn’t blame them; he didn’t want to leave either. Only when most of her class had shuffled out did he have the courage to approach her desk.

He stood there, making no sounds, just fidgeting with his right hand as he tried to find the courage in him to speak to the professor who was counting the number of essays that had been submitted to her.

“Sorry, I have to get home now. Office hours are before class on Monday,” she said, not even looking up at him.

“Sure, if that’s the only way I’ll get to see you.”

She stilled mid-count, letting go of the papers as she looked up at him. She opened and closed her mouth, as though swallowing everything she thought to say.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, finally.

He shrugged and managed a half-smile. “Had to catch you somehow.”

When she said nothing, he continued, “Where do you go when you tell your students you’re going home? Because you don’t come to ours.”

He carried her papers, her handbag and her lunch bag to the jeep. As though he had to confiscate all her belongings to make sure she’d actually come home with him. As though he was afraid she’d slip through his fingers like the sicarios he chased.

Her hand didn’t cross the physical space between them. Her head rested against the glass of the window and her eyes were closed. She didn’t reach over to switch the radio on, didn’t ask him about his day, didn’t reach over to pinch his cheek or steal his aviators.

“Talk to me,” he said, his voice shaking as he realized he didn’t want to hear whatever it was she had to say. He wasn’t prepared for the harsh truths. All he wanted was to take her to bed and kiss her all over and hold her tight so that she would never leave. He wanted to cry like a little boy begging his dad to not leave for work because he would miss him too much during the day. He wanted to overwhelm her with his love, manipulate her mind into taking him back though he couldn’t admit to himself that at some point she apparently stopped wanting to keep him.

His hand was on her knee as he sat at her feet and looked up at her face expectantly for her to speak. It wouldn’t have taken him more than a second to get on his knees. He was no religious man. That stopped the day he buried his Ma. But he would get on his knees again and pray to her to stay, to be his benevolent goddess and forgive his sins for the nth time.

“I don’t know what I did, I really don’t,” his voice cracked as he confessed. “But it must’ve been something terrible for you to stop coming home.” It shamed him to discover that he had become the man he promised himself he would never be. One of those inattentive men who’d grown so comfortable in the kindnesses of their wife that they’re shocked when she decides she has had enough. Neglect killed love. And he had been neglecting her, leaving her alone most days and most nights as he traveled back and forth between Bogotá and Medellin.

She stared at him, her expressions indiscernible. She accepted his hands when he placed them on hers, the small action giving him hopes. “Whatever it is, I’ll fix it,” he begged, holding on tight. He needed her to believe him.

She shook her head and looked down at her lap. “It’s not— you didn’t do anything wrong.”

After relief came surprise. He hadn’t done something wrong this time? The relief was quickly replaced by worry. If he was the cause of her running away from him, he could handle that. He could change himself, fix whatever within was wrong to make her come home again. But it was something else, someone else…

“What is it, then?” He asked, cupping her cheek and gently directing her to look at him instead of her lap or the walls. “Is it work? Are your parents doing well back home?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.”

He inhaled and rubbed his eyes. “It can’t be nothing. You left me. You packed up your bags and left. I think I deserve an explanation.”

She let out a sigh. “I’ll come back then.”

His hand curled into a fist and his jaw clenched. So that was it? All he had to do was ask? Her easy compliance made him want to throw something at the wall.

He got off the ground where he was knelt at her feet and began pacing across the room.

He expected some resistance when he barged into her workplace uninvited and demanded that she come with him. He expected— no, hoped for a fight for it would give him answers for her sudden disappearance. But she just walked with him to the parking lot, no questions asked. And now she just agreed to move back in. All because he demanded answers.

“Fucking tell me!” He yelled, his hand fidgeting at his side.

“I don’t want to fight,” she said, her voice too calm for the gravity of the situation. Like this didn’t fucking matter.

Oh, you don’t wanna fight? You don’t wanna fucking fight? You fucking ran off and you don��t want to—

“I don’t either, but you’re making it very hard to not do that.”

He heard her take in a deep breath before he heard the unmistakable whispers of sniffling. Great. Fucking amazing. Now, he’d gone and made her cry.

Her sounds of despair were enough for his rage to evaporate off him. He rushed back to her side and pulled her to his chest, forcing comfort upon her in the hope that it would serve as a salve to whatever wounds he’d ripped open. To his relief, she didn’t push him away. But she didn’t pull him close like she always did when he embraced her. Things had changed and he hadn’t even noticed it happening. All he could do now was hope that whatever this rift was between them, he could patch it back together.

—————————

Even in the blistering heat of Bogotá, Javier chose to keep his wife pressed to his chest when he slept. She was disgusted by their sweat combining and their clothes sticking to their bodies, but she indulged his need for closeness. She knew he loved with his body and she accepted his love, in all its sweaty sticky mess.

So he had no choice but to interpret the chasm between them on their marital bed as her rejection of his love.

As soon as he brought her back home, he had to leave for Medellin. Any hopes for setting things right had been crushed when he had to leave from work straight to the other city. He’d called home before he left, informing he would be gone for a long time once again. She didn’t say much, just hemmed and hawed before asking him to be safe out there. No exaggerated smooching sounds to make him laugh, no promises of what would be awaiting him when he came back home to her, no I love you before she said goodbye.

Over ten days after the call, he was back but without any of the feelings of satisfaction he usually had when coming home to her. Instead, there was just dread. She met him at the door as usual and wrapped her arms around him, but she separated without a kiss. The cracks in the foundations of their marriage ran deeper than he’d feared.

“Hey,” he whispered awkwardly when she finally opened her eyes. She stilled, her head jerking up as though surprised he was there.

“Hey,” she replied, her voice groggy from sleep as she shuffled under her blanket.

“I missed you so much, mi amor…” he said carefully, afraid that anything he might say would snap the last thread that held them together. His hand slowly crept into the space between them, an offering to share the littlest bit of marital comforts.

“Missed you too, Javi,” she conceded, not taking his hand but settling for playing with his fingers. He allowed her to lead, giving what little contact she took from him and taking back only as much, afraid to cross any lines.

Her nails were uncharacteristically unkempt. The woman he knew did not tolerate chipped nail polish, wiping all her nails with acetone when the paint began chipping off. Almost all her nails except her pinky had chipped paint now. Her thumbnail was bare.

“May I paint your nails?” He asked, hopeful. She nodded and he left their bed in search of the box in which she kept all her manicure tools and paints.

When they sat together on bed as he took the pink off her nails, they were closer. He handled her hands with care, refusing to scrub too harshly even when the pieces of glitter clung to her as stubbornly as he did. Manicures were something she got done from salons, but she painted her own nails just as often. She said it calmed her.

He then brought the glass file to her nails, reducing them to a shorter oval shape the way she liked them. Any longer and she found it hard to use her typewriter. He made sure to file the edges in the same direction, recalling that she’d told him filing in opposite directions was not good for nail health. He repositioned her hand in his, turning it left and right as he evaluated his work. Satisfied with the shape, he brought his lips to the finger, his eyes remaining on hers the entire time to check for any signs of rejection. He pressed little kisses from her fingertip to her wrist, relishing in the shy smiles she rewarded him with.

He repeated his work with the other nails and then used the little wooden stick she had to push her cuticles back in preparation for the paint. The shower would wash it off soon, but he still slathered some moisturizer on her hands, using it as an excuse to massage her hands. He pushed the excess cream beyond her wrists and up her arms.

He kissed the back of her hand and looked up at her, her eyes clouded with sleep and something else, her plush lips parting as his own traveled up her arm. “You feel so good, baby, so soft,” he praised, making her shudder. When he reached the sleeve of his t-shirt that she liked wearing to bed, he pulled it down, exposing her shoulder. As he neared her neck, she cradled his head in her hand, guiding him by his hair to place kisses where she wanted them. His lips went willingly, loving her up in every spot she took him to. She was all sweat, citrus shampoo and the jasmine of the lotion he’d rubbed on her. He breathed her in, her scent being his choice of drug.

She pulled him back from her neck, gazing at his lips before closing her eyes and leaning forward. He brushed the tip of his nose against hers, making her giggle. He smiled before leaning in again but kissing her chin.

“Javi,” she whined as he kissed along her jaw and the corners of her lips and even her nose, refusing to press his lips to hers.

“Yeah, baby?” He asked, feigning innocence. But she knew him too well to believe the act.

“Jodón.”

“Tell me what you want.” He demanded, craving the feeling of being wanted. He needed to know that she needed him just like he needed her, that she wasn’t just capitulating to his desires, that she desired him.

“Kiss me.”

He found himself grinning as he took her face in his hands and tilted his head, unhurried in how he grazed her lips with his. She took initiative, pressing her lips to his. She consumed him, not like a starving woman but like one ready to savor each second of her meal. He let one hand wander down her back, caressing her through the thin fabric but not daring to slip it under her t-shirt. He needed her to take this at her pace, unaffected by his greed and desperation to have all of her. It was fantastic how just a kiss from her could make him feel his heart beating for her.

He’d kissed other women before her and he enjoyed all those times. But with her, it was different. It wasn’t the first step in fucking, wasn’t a means to an end. When he kissed her, he wasn’t a lonely man trying to imitate a deeper intimacy he’d never had merely to quell his yearning for connection. In her lips, he found not just the thrill of desire, but the safety of home.

The first time he kissed her, every other kiss ceased to exist and she’d become the only one. Everyone he kissed after that first kiss left him unsatisfied. None of them tasted like her, didn’t send jolts of electricity through him, didn’t make his heart leap out of his chest.

She mewled into the kiss as his tongue danced with hers, giving in to her exploration of his mouth as she pulled him closer to herself. Taking her sounds as encouragement, he tangled his hands into her hair. He poured a month’s worth of longing into the kiss, asking with each sigh and moan ‘Can you feel how I yearn for you? Can you not feel how you broke me when you left and put me back together with just this kiss?’

She pulled back first and he found himself panting, taking in the air he didn’t know he was depriving himself of. He pounced back, needing her more than he needed oxygen. He took her lips between his, pushing her head into the headboard as he pulled her into a heated kiss. One hand roamed his shoulder and then his arms, up and down and driving him mad as the other rested over his heart. He brought a hand to hers, trapping hers over his heart. He felt lightheaded as she staved him of air, but he happily drowned in her. He needed her to feel him, feel how his heart beat to her tune, how it missed having her head rest on it as they slept in each other’s arms.

“Please, Javi. Need you…” she broke off to whisper. He placed one last kiss to her lips before he slid down the bed, pulling her to the edge before pulling her shorts off her. He dove in and licked her through her panties, savoring the taste of her wetness on the cotton. Her hand found his hair and tugged gently.

“You have no fucking idea how much I’ve missed having you, querida…” he said, placing a kiss between her legs.

“I miss you so much, Javi…”

“No, you don’t know,” he insisted, angered that she would claim to have missed him after she left him. If you missed me so much, why didn’t you come back? He pressed his thumb on her clit, pressed a bit harder than she liked and she whined.

“I’m sorry!”

“You left. You walked out on me, didn’t tell me shit and I was fucking miserable,” he confessed, passing on the hurt right back to her. She mumbled a few more apologies, but nothing would be enough until he got to take her again.

“Gonna let me show you how much I missed you, baby?” He asked, placing kisses on her belly. “Gonna let me make love to you?”

“Yes, yes, please. Need youuu—” she cried as he pushed the cotton of her panty aside to lick her.

“You need me?” He asked, licking her again. God, how he missed his favorite taste. “Did you miss my cock like I missed this pussy, baby?”

She nodded, but that wasn’t enough for him. He needed to know from her lips, needed her to scream for the entire city to know how she missed his touch. He pushed her legs back together and pulled her panties off before setting it aside. He wrapped his lips around her and sucked on her clit, exacting the sweetest little sounds from her.

“I need to hear you.”

“Missed you, Javi. Missed your cock,” she confessed, tightening around his finger as she did. He wished he had his cock inside her as he made her tell him how much she missed it. He would pull more confessions out of her with a promise of an orgasm and he knew she would say anything he wanted.

“You have ruined me, mi amor. Can’t make myself cum just as good anymore without this pussy. Hate my own fucking hand.” He praised before he lapped and laved at her core, licking her up as he made her wetter and wetter for him.

“I sneaked your panties out of the laundry hamper, took it with me to Medellin like a fucking creep,” he confessed, unsure if her cry of his name was the work of his fingers or the confession of his depravity. “The pink one with the stripes, covered in you from when you touched yourself, when you kept this cunt to yourself and kept me away. I needed to smell it when I wrapped my fist around my cock and imagined I was fucking you.”

She clenched around his finger and that sent a rush through him. “That make you feel good, Cariño? Knowing you’ve turned me into a fucking pervert?”

“Javi, baby please…” she cried as he busied his lips once again with her cunt. He would’ve left her pussy lips for the lips that cried his name so prettily but she kept him down with her hand on his hair. She fucked herself on his fingers, gasping when he added a third one to stretch her out further.

His idle hand traveled up her body, its every nerve ending enjoying having her tremble beneath him once again. He took his time, roaming everywhere, feeling every inch of skin that he would soon trap under him as he fucked her for the first in a long time. This was the longest they’d gone without each other ever since they decided to pursue what they had for real. Even with his job being the way it was, he managed to come to Bogota every now and then to have her.

She wrapped her legs around him, trapping his head with her thighs as she dug the heel of her foot into his back. He growled into her cunt as she thrust up into him, fucking his mouth and his fingers at the same time. She still wanted him in between her legs if nowhere else and if he had to, he would fuck her into staying with him forever.

A few more minutes of licking and sucking and she was pulsating around his fingers, her thighs setting enough pressure on him to make him fear that she might crush him. With a cry of his name, she came for him, coating him in her juices. He drank up all of her, not showing any restraint.

She pulled him up by his hair and he obeyed, kissing her lips to bless her with her deliciousness. He dipped his tongue into her mouth, meeting her tongue as she moaned with her own taste. He placed his hand over her collarbones, smearing her all over the place before he crept up and held her neck as he relished in the vibrations of her moans.

He gasped into the kiss as she wrapped her hand around him through his boxers. He grabbed her wrist and held her in place, keeping her from stroking his cock. It’d been too long since he had her and he wasn’t going to waste this morning by coming in his fucking underwear.

“Let me have you, baby,” he begged, dipping down to her neck to lick up her cum that he had smeared over her. He wasn’t going to let any of her go to waste.

“Yes, fuck!” She reached into his boxers and took him out, painfully hard and already leaking precum. He licked and sucked the skin until it was marred from his attention.

“Wanna be on top, please,” she begged and he rolled them around, acquiescing to her. She sat up on him, her knees planted on either side of him before taking her t-shirt off to reveal her pretty tits. Before he could reach up for her himself, she took command in taking his hand and placing it on her breast.

“Missed this so much, Javi,” she said as she stroked his cock. He kneaded her breast in his hand, enjoying having the ample flesh in his hands.

“Need to be inside you, please,” he breathed, trying as much as he could to clear his thoughts for if he focused on her hand around his cock and how gorgeous she looked on him, he would burst in an instant.

She obliged, adjusting herself over him before living him up with herself. She let him inside her wet heat, just the tip, before pulling back up. He groaned at the loss of contact, biting down on his lip as she repeated the motion, giving him just a bit of her pussy before pulling away once again.

He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Don’t fucking tease. I haven’t had you in the longest time, darling. I need—ssss” he hissed as she took him in once more.

“I’m not teasing,” she gasped silently as she allowed a little more of him inside her. “So big, Javi. Haven’t stretched me out like this in s-so long,” she praised as she swallowed him bit by bit. “So fucking thick, gonna ruin me.”

“That’s right, baby… You love this cock, don’t you? Can’t go for anyone else ever again. I’ve made you mine,” he said, moving his other hand to her clit, moaning when she rewarded his touch by gripping him tighter.

“Mmmm love your cock,” she moaned as she struggled to take more of him even though he’d gotten her nice and wet with his fingers and mouth. Poor thing needed time to get used to his girth again after having gone such a long time without him.

“You are so beautiful like this… Look so fucking sinful trying so hard to take all of me, sitting on top of me like that and letting me touch your tits,” he praised as he played with her nipples, pinching and tugging and rolling between his fingers to make her tighten around him. She might have been on top, taking the reins, but he still had control. He knew her body like he knew the communas where he chased men, knew every shortcut, memorized every path, knew where to go to corner and capture them. He could elicit every desired response from her by touching her in the right places and saying the right words. She belonged to him, body and soul, and he enjoyed using every inch of her body to remind her to whom she belonged.

He let her set a slow torturous pace as she adjusted to him, groaning as she finally swallowed him to the hilt. It was pure bliss to be surrounded whole by her, to feel all of her wet, velvety heat. He felt her all over, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head and it was everything. She was everything.

It was sweet torment to be exposed to the cold air of the fan only to be swallowed back up by her hot cunt. He needed her so fucking bad, needed her not just for the carnal pleasures that sex brought but the feeling of home when he found himself buried in her— he needed her to devour him whole and keep him right there, inside her, all hers and nothing else. Only the Javier that belonged to her was worth existing. Everything else he’d become in over three decades of life was insignificant.

Inside the walls of their home, on their marital bed, there was no world outside. She brought him the delusions of safety and he luxuriated in it, allowing himself to forget everything that wasn’t her. The world was just her tight cunt, her tits under his hands and the filthy sounds from her lips as she slowly went from a woman in control to a writhing, moaning mess. He met her halfway with his thrusts when she struggled to keep up on top of him. He sat himself up and pulled her to his chest, giving in as she stole his lips. It was hurried and sloppy as they explored familiar territory, still as excited as the first time they kissed each other. Practiced lovers, savoring the familiar comfort of each other’s lips yet excited to find something new each time.

“Don’t ever leave me,” he begged, holding her face in his hand and making her look at him in the hopes that she would see just how much he meant it. “I can’t, without you… I— I c-can’t, mi amor— Please…”

“I w-won’t,” she managed to stutter out as she grew breathless.

“Promise me,” he demanded even though what he wanted to do was beg.

She opened and closed her mouth, unable to form words as he set a relentless pace, taking over as he thrust into her and thumbed her clit.

“Fucking promise me!” He growled, forcing himself into her in hard, merciless thrusts.

“Aaaah! Ja—”

“You’re mine. You’re fucking mine, get it? This isn’t— We aren’t just da-dating. I’m your husband. You can’t just leave like that.” He forced himself deep and inadvertently hit her cervix. She jolted in his arms and let out a pained cry, letting him know his mistake and he pressed a kiss to her cheek in a silent apology.

“Sorr— hnnng! ‘m sorry Jav—”

A tear slipped down her cheek and he kissed it, tasting her. He breathed her name the way a dying man would call for his god in desperation. He prayed her name, each syllable a request of Save me, never leave me, breathe life into this wretched man.

She pulsated around him, collapsing on his chest and relying on him to hold her up as she reached her peak. She was deadweight in his arms and he held her tight as he reamed into her, her back arching and her hair cascading down her back, shaking from his hard thrusts. She took him along with her, erasing his world and making herself his everything. She had dragged him to the peak of the world and now she was pulling him down and he went with her willingly, taking everything she gave him, getting lost in her body. She was like a breath of air after drowning for eternity, she gave him life, gave him meaning even though she’d been the one to rob him of it.

He wiped her tears and kissed her all over, showering her with all the love he had for her. But it wasn’t enough. No matter how much he poured out, he couldn’t show her the depth of his feelings for her. No words compared, no kisses came close to the place she had in his life. No matter how many times he told her he loved her, she would never know just how much.

“Te amo, Javi,” she broke off from their kiss to whisper. He collapsed on the bed and brought her down with him. He pecked her lips once and then twice before setting his gaze on her eyes.

“Si me amas…” he paused to take a breath. “¿por qué me dejaste? ¿Por qué?”

She looked down at her lap and fidgeted with her rings as she spoke, “Y-yo no quiero perderte.”

He shook his head as he said, “No me perderás. Yo soy tuyo.” He took her hand and placed it on his chest over his heart. “Tuyo.”

She scoffed, her hand curling over his chest. “More Escobar’s than mine at this point.”

“What?”

She shook her head and looked away, avoiding his eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to— I shouldn’t complain.”

“No. No, you talk to me. What is this about?”

“We’ll fight if we talk about it. Like Steve and Connie.”

“Do you…? Do you want to leave…? Like Connie did?” He asked, unable to steady his shaking voice. Three weeks with her gone was hell enough. If she wanted to take off permanently, he didn’t know what he would do with himself. Hunting the hijo de puta had become his purpose in life over the past few years. But he now had another important purpose, a woman he’d made promises to. Promises he was insistent on keeping.

She shook her head.

He sighed as he tucked her hair behind her ear, needing to see her without anything in the way. It was fucking frustrating, not knowing what worried her so much that she couldn’t even talk to him about it, that she chose instead to run away from him. But he had to be kind if he wanted her to open up.

He began by caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. Gently, like soothing a wounded child. “Baby… If you don’t tell me what this is about, how am I going to fix it? Hmm?”

“It can’t be fixed,” she said, same as that day.

It took him a moment to know how to answer her.

“When I asked you to marry me, you asked that I give you all of me. Have I not kept that promise?” He asked, knowing that he had so far. No matter how ugly, no matter how broken, he brought home all of himself. To her credit, she accepted him just as he was.

She nodded and said, “you have.”

“Now I’m asking. I want everything, too. Whatever you’re hiding from me that has you worried will make us fight. Is it about my job?”

“I’m sorry,” she said as she nodded, head hung low as tears spilled out.

“No, no, nothing to be sorry about. Just talk to me. What about my job?”

“S-scared.” His chest tightened at the trembling of her voice. Relationships were not something he was comfortable with after he left Lorraine and it was alright for his dangerous new lifestyle as an agent in Colombia. There was no one else he was putting in danger because of his line of work. But then he had to go and fall in love.

It was one of the reasons he proposed to her as soon as he could. Being his wife offered her more legal protection than did being his girlfriend. And knowing that she was it for him, he saw no point in waiting. But she was still afraid for her safety.

He reached out quickly to reassure her.

“I’m here, okay? Our home is safe. Those bastards won’t dare touch you here, won’t dare touch a US federal agent’s wife. I got you,” he whispered into her ear and rubbed her back, hoping to help her relax in his arms. She didn’t. She just tensed.

“‘m not worried about m-myself,” she said softly. “Ever since Steve got kidnapped, I—”

He took in a deep breath and pulled her in closer even though there was no gap between them. What was he supposed to do? Tell her he was safe? Lying wasn’t something he was ready to do in their marriage. Even if he did, she wouldn’t believe him after she had to comfort a panicking Connie. He had the same job as Steve, faced the same dangers. It could be him next. And he might not be lucky enough to come home.

The CNP guys were in much greater danger than he was as an American. Call it gringo privilege. But he couldn’t make promises. He couldn’t promise that a jump from the roof wouldn’t end up terribly. He couldn’t promise that he would never catch a stray bullet. He couldn’t promise that a crazy motherfucker wouldn’t target him for the bragging rights over nabbing a US agent.

Small town sheriff Javier Peña hadn’t thought of all this when he signed up for this job in his mid twenties. There was just an opportunity to run away from a town that hated him— a town he hated more for how it smothered him from all sides as he grew and grew yet it remained small, insignificant. It was his chance to do something great, to be the good guy fighting big bag guys and he took it. He hadn’t been warned that he’d one day be sat holding his sobbing wife, speechless because he couldn’t make the most basic promise— to fucking stay alive.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, the tremble in her voice tugging at his heartstrings.

“No, no. I’m sorry.” Sorry I can’t give you more. Sorry I made you cry. He pulled her into his arms and sat on the couch, cradling her in his lap more for his comfort than hers.

“I shouldn’t complain. I know I married a man with a dangerous job. I signed up for all this, but… ‘m so scared, Javi. I can’t sleep at night. I wake up from nightmares and I lose you every single time. I get scared when I get a call because what if—” she stopped, breaking down into sobs.

There was nothing he could do to fix this, she was correct. The thing that was causing her all this agony was his whole life.

“Do you want me to quit my job?” He asked, regretting it the minute the question left his lips. What if she said yes? What if that was the only way to fix their marriage? He would quit. There was no question about that. But that would mean that almost a decade of his life’s work would be worth nothing. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Resentment would break anything they had left between them.

Please don’t ask that of me.

She shook her head and he had to keep himself from letting out a huge sigh of relief.

“Do you know I have students who— I shouldn’t tell you. I’m not on the field like you and I don’t know all the things you know, but I see everyday how he’s fucking ruined lives. I want you to catch that motherfucker. You’re in this fight and I’m not letting you leave it without crushing his blood empire. I just don’t want us to be collateral damage. I can’t bear losing you whether it is to divorce or a bullet. I can’t—” she brought her hand to her lips, biting on her newly shaped nails.

He swallowed, tugging her hand away from her mouth and giving it a kiss. “I can’t make promises about the latter,” he said softly, unable to look her in the eyes as he said it. He didn’t want to know what he did to her with those words. “You know I can’t. But when I die, whether it’s tomorrow or 40 years from now, I’ll die your husband. I don’t do divorce. You might think it’s not a big deal for me, the guy who left his first fiancé at the altar. But trust me, you’re a catch and there’s no way I’m letting you escape”

She laughed and nuzzled into his neck. He rested his head on hers and pressed a kiss to her hair. “I’m not joking. You should be very scared, baby. As far as I’m concerned, I’m it for you. Won’t let you leave no matter what you do.”

“Yeah?” She laughed, her eyes glinting with tears but also something new. Her lips quirked up in a mischievous smile. “What if I slept with a bunch of guys?”

He raised an eyebrow, reeling the unhinged jealous little man in his heart to join her in whatever this was that made her smile through her tears. “Good for them. Best pussy they’ll ever have. I mean, I will beat them to death for touching you. But you’re still my wife. Not divorcing you.”

“What if I fucked Steve?” She challenged, raising an eyebrow.

He knew what she was doing. She was making it personal, putting a face to the act and making said face a very familiar one. But he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

“Last thing he’ll ever do in his life. I’ll kill him and Connie will help me hide his body.”

“Mhmm? What if…..?” She trailed, looking into the distance as she stroked her invisible beard. “What if I let someone else knock me up?”

“You bitch!”

She gasped and shoved at his chest. “How dare you call me a bitch!?”

“How dare you even think of letting another man do that?”

“I won’t actually do that!” She defended, folding her arms over her chest. “I’m just trying to get a raise out of you.”

“And you did,” he supplied, making her scoff.

“How about…? Okay! What if I fucked Escobar?”

“Shit, I would tell everyone!” He laughed. “My wife? Getting that close to that piece of shit and living to tell the story? Yeah, I’d be on the rooftops with a megaphone. Oh and I’ll kill him. Of course. Goes without saying.”

“Well, you were gonna kill him anyway. What will you do to him for touching your wife?” She asked, twirling his overgrown hair around her finger.

Was this…? Noooo! He was just joking, but she seems to like the idea of him killing men for wanting her.

“Baby, what’s wrong with you?” He asked, laughing. She surprised him every goddamn day.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” she licked her lips and drew shaped on his chest with her index finger. “There should be an explanation for why I signed up for all this.”

“You like this, don’t you?” He asked, lowering the register of his voice the way she liked as he took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “You want me to possess you, to hurt anyone who would want you that way I have you. You like that I can be a dangerous man.”

She shivered, but quickly stabilised herself, looking very blasé as she spoke, “Huh, that answers my question. I always wondered what kind of idiot would be with Escobar. I guess women just like to fuck a powerful man. And money. She’d gotta be in it for the money.”

“She married him before he got rich, actually. And it’s not just women who are attracted to powerful men,” he added, letting her know just how much he liked when she was in a position of power.

“Men too? You’re gonna tell me you want to fuck Escobar?” She asked, making him laugh. He pinched her bum, making her squeal and attempt to get off him. He pulled her back in immediately, not ready to lose contact.

“When I came to your class, I sat in the back the entire time. I enjoyed seeing you in your element, leading the discussion, getting a big room full of people to listen to you. And your ass in a pencil skirt. If I was your student, I would wank off every day thinking of you” he groaned, his cock twitching inside her at the mental image.

“Oh my god!” She exclaimed before hitting him playfully.

“Whaaat? I feel bad for those fuckers in your class, having to talk about Frankenstein’s monster to impress their hot little literature professor.”

“Don’t sexualise my job!” She looked positively scandalised. Like he’d suggested that she let him fuck her on the streets.

“Uh huh? Now you know how it feels? What was that you asked me for your birthday?” He teased. “On yds, the little interrogation fantasy. You’ve been begging me to tie you up and interrogate you.”

She hid her smile from him, covering her face with her hands, but he pried them off to see her looking so sweetly shy at being reminded of the depraved things she wanted him to do to her. “You don’t have to do it,” she said, shy and quiet and she played with her rings.

“Mmm thank you baby, but I’m gonna make your dreams come true. Just be happy I’m not CIA. Cause CIA has some terrible interrogation methods. They’ll fucking waterboard you.”

“Oh my god! Okay this isn’t fun anymore,” she said, getting off him, but he pulled her right back onto his cock, laughing as he caught her expression.

“Let me go!”

“No, no sorry. I shouldn’t talk about the CIA in bed, they’re such a turn off.”

“You think that’s why I’m trying to escape?? Javi, women don’t like talking about waterboarding with a dick inside them.”

“Okay, okay, I know. Just stay in bed. I have today off and I need to be inside you,” he said, rubbing her back in an attempt to coax her into foregoing her household responsibilities for a lazy day in bed with him.

“I have work to do. Papers to grade and clothes to wash. Oh and some pervert,” she said, poking his chest a few times. “has been stealing my panties so I have to go wash them before he gets to them.”

“Oh please, it was just one pair,” he lied, looking away quickly but it wasn’t enough for him to get away with it.

She squinted her eyes at him and he relented. “Fine. It was three. Pink one with the stripes, blue lace ones and a white cotton panty.”

“Pervert!”

“Or I’m just really in love with my wife. You should see the sweet side of it. You don’t know how other guys act on the field. It’s like as soon as they’re in Medellin, they aren’t married.”

“Uh huh?” She said as she tilted her head, her tone suggesting that she wasn’t convinced by his words. “And I’m supposed to be grateful that you aren’t sleeping around? Pendejo!” She punctuated her curse with a slap to his chest.

“That’s not what I meant!” He defended, taking her slapping hand and giving it a kiss.

“Sure, Cabrón.”

He laughed, amused at how adorable she was when angry. He pulled her down to lie down with him, her head on his chest and his hand in her hair. Mornings like these had become so rare. Even without their period of separation, they didn’t have quality time together. Work always called, always overwhelmed and left him with very little to give as a husband. Being too tired to do anything else, he couldn’t even take her out anywhere for dinner. But that would change tonight.

“I made dinner reservations for us. Are you free tonight?”

He’d booked it a while back, but he didn’t know if she would want to go with him after she left. And he didn’t want to promise her a date night before he knew for sure that he would have the day off from work. She did not take it terribly when he had to calculate on her for work, but something told him it wasn’t good for a marriage to keep breaking promises.

“Hmm, I don’t know. This pendejo said he’ll paint my nails and did a half assed job. I might have to book a nail appointment for the night,” she teased, making him laugh. He’d completely forgotten that their activities were preceded by his request to paint her nails.

“I’ll finish the job now,” he said, getting up, but she pushed him back down and trapped him in a loving hug.

“Later. I just wanna stay like this a little longer. Feels good…”

“I like when you hold me like this, mi amor,” he confessed, his voice softening as he opened himself up to allow himself to bask in the euphoria that holding her to his chest brought him.

“I- it calms me down. I need to hear your heart beating. I wake up from bad dreams sometimes and I can’t fall back asleep if I don’t lie down like this.”

He froze. He had no idea she had nightmares. “You never told me.”

“Didn’t want to worry you.”

He said her name softly, making her look up at him from his chest.

“You have to tell me these things,” he said, moving her hair out of the way so he could have an unobstructed view of her. Her features were soft, her eyes open, vulnerable.

“You have a lot on your plate already… I don’t want to be one of your problems.”

“Jesus,” he swore before sighing. “You’re not- I’ll never think of you as a problem. I understand why you worry. It’s not unwarranted. I would never ask you to hide your feelings for me. I thought we talked about these things. You’re the one who’s always telling me that we should communicate about difficult things. What happened to that?”

“Do you remember when I made you choose? Either date me for real or stop coming over for anything other than sex?”

He hummed in response, encouraging her to continue. They'd been fooling around for around two months back then and one night when he was dressing himself to leave, she forced him to confront how he’d been treating her— he’d been giving her mixed signals, pulling her in and pushing her away. He’d act like her boyfriend one minute but get distant the next and she was understandably annoyed.

“And you said you wanted to date me but you warned me that your job was dangerous and that attachments were a weakness. I didn’t want to be your weakness, I still—”

He shook her head, interrupting her mid-sentence, “I was talking out of my ass, I was just scared. And it’s different now. We’re—”

“Yeah but when I think of you strapping a gun and badge on yourself to go out and get shot at by those malparidos, I want to stop you,” she choked on her words, getting up off his chest and hugging her knees to her chest. “I told you I could handle it. That day and the day you asked me to marry you. But, I can’t. I can’t handle it. Ever since Steve was kidnapped- and I know you said he wasn’t in any real danger, but fuck! It was terrifying to see Connie like that and I couldn’t help but worry and put myself in her place. And I couldn’t stop thinking about every terrible thing that could happen to you and I just wanted to lock you up at home. So I left- because I don’t want to be your weakness. But I can’t be brave, I can’t be strong.”

It broke his heart to know that behind the scenes, behind her easy smiles and her strong shoulders he leaned on everyday, there was so much fear. So much insecurity. There was shame too. Had he been more attentive, he would’ve known without her having to tell him, without her having to run away.

He sat up, pulled her close and placed a kiss on her head. “You are brave and you’ve been so strong, putting up with more of my shit than you need to… Sometimes I think I won’t get through this with my soul intact if it weren’t for you. So never think that you’re my weakness.”

She listened, her eyebrows furrowed and eyes never leaving him. She bit down on her lip, pulling at the skin with her teeth, something she did when anxious. He reached over and thumbed her lip, not wanting to wait until she started bleeding.

“I… I’ve put you in a difficult position, but I would never ask you to hide your fears for my comfort. And you leaving definitely did not make me stronger. Just scared the hell out of me. I thought I’d done something so shit that you’d left for good.”

“Sorry I left… I just—”

“I’m sorry you couldn’t talk to me. Not like that would’ve solved anything,” he scoffed, rubbing his eyes. “Nothing short of stopping that bastard is going to solve this.”

“I know, I know…” she sighed.

“I’ll get him,” he affirmed, taking her hands in his. All the things he’d done since he landed in Colombia, all the things he’d lost because of that man… To think he might lose her too… It was chilling. He’d lost friends, made enemies, became the guy everyone called an asshole for not cutting corners, for not putting up with anything that wasn’t right. He’d lost so much, but she wasn’t going to be one of them. He wouldn’t allow it.

Javier Peña wouldn’t rest until Escobar was history.

Series Masterlist

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angelskills · 7 months

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can we please have a college au! Suguru who takes interest in a girl from a different department and he keeps trying to find her and talk more but she doesnt let it? Or disappears for weeks together untul he next sees her?

a/n: omg this is so creative?! i haven't tried writing a suguru fanfic ever, so this will be a challenge, and i love challenges :D, thank you so much for the request! if you want something else, pls lmk, also thank you sm for 200+ likes on my last post, also, i kind of switch the names between geto and suguru, and gojo and satoru. this may not be the best fanfic but if you want something else, pls pls request, i want to write something that you actually want :)) !

Out of Reach

warnings: pw/p(p0rn with plot), tipsy sex, he doesnt pull out (birth control dw), clit stimulation, p in v, vaginal fingering

credits: @hopelesslygaysstuff for the 18+ header

characters: you, Shoko, gojo, geto,

intro: geto notices you for the first time in the library while he is with his friends

Geto had his eyes on you for a long, long time. But, you never noticed. He always tried to find you around campus and talk to you. But, he never could. Geto first noticed you at the library when he was with Gojo. You happened to be with Shoko, who is one of his close friends.

Something about you really stood out to him. He never really knew why, but he took an interest in you. He is lazy, but he would chase you around the campus to try and catch up to you, but it never really worked out. You both had different majors, meaning you would be in different departments. He majored in humanities while you majored in computer science.

Geto thought about you all day long, he didn't want to but couldn't stop thinking about you. You were pretty, with a cute smile, and you were smart. How did Geto know? Well, he may or may not have texted Shoko about you. He lays in bed every night, hoping to get the chance to talk to you one day.

That man was so happy. He actually started smiling when Shoko told him you would be at Gojo's party in his apartment. He was excited to finally be able to have a proper conversation with you that doesn't have him running around campus, slipping like 10 times to catch up to you. Who knows why he was so crazy about you?

It was finally Friday night. Geto always hangs out at Gojo's house and helps prepare the drinks and food whenever there is a party. Geto was yapping on and on about you and how it's so hard to talk to you as he was laying out the plastic plates on the table and ordering the food. Gojo was so annoyed with that man, "Just get her number and text her, dude."

Geto seems like an overall confident person, but when it came to you, he was nervous, he didn't wanna make a weird first impression. "You don't get it." He sighed, sitting on the sofa, "You think she might like me?"

"No, fuck no." Gojo laughed, "You're scared to even approach her, pussy."

"I try to catch up to her."

"Try harder."

Geto rolled his eyes and cussed under his breath. But, it was the truth. He was trying, of course. But whenever he caught up to you, he would chicken out and just, not.

Gojo heard a knock on his door. They both looked at each other and looked at the clock, it wasn't time for the party yet.

Well, guess it was.

He opened the door and saw a bunch of his classmates and friends just come in with bottles of vodka and tequila. Screaming and singing. More and more people came in. You could say almost the entirety of the college students were there, except you and Shoko. G

Geto was in a corner while Gojo had girls all over him. He kept on texting Shoko and spamming her to get here faster.

Meanwhile you and Shoko...

"Hurry up, Y/N, please!" Shoko whined, lying down on the couch, replying to Geto's text.

"Sorry, wait!" You yelled from the bathroom, applying mascara on your lashes.

You wore a cheetah print top with flared jeans and a rhinestone belt. You brushed your hair, thinking about the party, obviously you know Gojo, he's really popular afterall. He was always with this guy. Tall, muscular, and he looked tired all the time. You finally finished getting ready, putting on your necklace and earrings and stepped out of the bathroom.

Shoko complimented you and you guys took a few pictures together. You both put on your shoes and legit rushed out. Trying to find a cab to get to Gojo's place. You were excited, because this was your first ever party, especially in college. Even though you're a sophomore, you avoided parties a lot because you focused on your grades too much. After becoming friends with Shoko, you let loose a bit and finally agreed to go to a party.

Shoko was talking about Geto as you both got in the cab and you couldn't recognize his name. She showed you a picture and you finally realized that was the Geto Shoko was always talking about. You couldn't even deny it, that man was fine, but you didn't say anything.

After a while of asking Shoko for more pictures of Geto and staring at his pictures as if he were the most beautiful man ever, you finally reached Gojo's place. You and Shoko got out of the car, and you were out here taking deep breaths because you were nervous about the party. As you both walked towards Gojo's door, Shoko was reassuring you that everything would be fine and parties weren't that big of a deal.

The door was open, damn. That man was really fearless.

You walked in with Shoko, astounded by how big Gojo's apartment really was. Geto noticed you and Shoko, letting out a sigh of relief because truly, he was worried sick thinking YOU(not Shoko) got in an accident and died. He finished his glass of beer and started walking towards you. Then, Shoko dragged you off to somewhere else, giving you a tour of Gojo's apartment. Geto clenched his fists, muttering out a bunch of fuck you's to Shoko.

Geto finally managed to catch up to you and Shoko, finding you guys hanging with Satoru. You looked at Geto, finally realizing that man was even finer in real life. You gave him a warm smile, before turning back to Gojo.

Geto's face nearly turned red. Did you just smile at him? He couldn't believe it.

"Hear me out, let's play beer pong." Satoru smirked, setting up the plastic cups. It was an upside-down triangle laid on the table.

You looked at Shoko, nodded, and helped pour the beer into the plastic.

You guys played beer pong for a while, switching some of the cups with beer and then tequila and vodka.

Satoru and Shoko were drunk as fuck and out like a light, you and Geto were only a bit tipsy because you both were actually good at the game and meanwhile, Gojo and Shoko sucked ass with their angles.

It was like, 3 a.m., and Satoru and Shoko were still out. You and Geto were sitting on the couch, talking and he confessed about how he always chased you around campus and tried to talk to you, but he always chickened out. You laughed at that, but on the inside, you were screaming. A man, like him, took an interest, in YOU? You talked about how you kept begging Shoko for pictures of him because you thought he was so cute.

There was some tension between you two. You both basically just confessed your feelings at this point. You laughed it out, trying your best not to create awkwardness between you two.

But, he didn't care. Whether it was awkward or not, all he cared was being there with you. Just you being present makes him happy.

He put his hand on your cheek, getting closer to your face, making sure you're comfortable before pulling you into a deep kiss.

You didn't know how it got to this point. From you and Geto laughing at each other, to a bit of making out, and then to you being carried to the guest bed.

He placed you on the bed gently, pulling you into a kiss as his fingers ran down your chest to your waistband, slowly pulling your jeans off. Your heart was beating out of your chest. All of this happened in a flash. He slid your top up so your bra would be exposed. You could feel the dampness in your panties from just seeing him like this. He kissed down your neck to your stomach. His hand slid under your panties, slowly rubbing small circles on your clit. You bucked your hips, trying to squirm away but his hand on your waist kept you in place.

He inserted a finger inside you, catching you off guard. You arched your back slightly, your body squirming as you let out noises. To him, your voice was like a melody, let alone noises. He wanted to get more out of you. He slid another finger in, your wetness making it easier for him. His fingers were so thick, you were almost scared about what his dick would feel like. His fingers curled right against your g-spot, you let out a loud moan, your toes curling as you gripped his shoulder, "S-suguru..." you whimpered. He swore he almost came in his pants after hearing you whimper his name like that. He pulled out his fingers, sliding your panties off.

He inserted his fingers right back inside of your hole. Stretching you out to make you prepared. You gulped as you shut your eyes, moaning as his fingers hit your sweet spot every time he pulled his fingers in and out. He unzipped his pants with his free hand, pulling down his boxers and lining his member to your entrance.

You almost screamed when you saw how long it was. You weren't even sure if it could fit or not. "Say the safeword when you want me to stop, green." He said as he slid his length inside of you, trying his best to be gentle but your pussy felt so good around his dick, he had to hold himself back from cumming right there.

You moaned, "Hngh... s-suguru... please...". He looked you in the eyes, "Please what?" He smirked, his fingers crawled to your clit.

You buried your head in his shoulder, "S-start moving, please." you gulped, you felt so full you thought you would just pass out if he started moving. From this moment on, he loved seeing you be shy in bed, he thought it was so cute especially since it was, you.

His hand grabbed your waist to keep you in place as he started thrusting inside of you. His free hand rubbed small fast circles on your clit, making your eyes roll back from the overwhelming pleasure. His dick hitting your sweet spot and him rubbing your clit at the same time.

"T-too much, too much!" You whined, throwing your back as you felt your orgasm coming. Your hands wrapped around Suguru's neck. It was almost impossible to keep yourself quiet and you were almost screaming but he wasn't complaining at all.

Within minutes, you milked his cock, creating a ring around it. Your pussy clenched around Suguru's cock, "H-holy shit", he groaned. Your toes curled as he sped up his pace, his thick cock kissing your cervix with each thrusts. After a few moments, he filled you with his cum to the brim, painting your walls white as thick ropes of cum spurted out.

He pulled out as he collapsed onto you, but making sure he doesn't put all of his weight. You put your hand on his cheek, smiling before giving him a kiss.

After a few moments, he picked you up to carry you to the shower, helping you clean up.

The very next day, you couldn't even walk.

#jujutsu kaisen #smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #geto x reader #geto smut #suguru geto #suguru x reader #suguru x y/n #geto #jjk smut #satoru gojo #jujutsu satoru #shoko ieiri #jujutsu shoko

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would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend · 5 months

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Introducing: The Index

For a while now, I’ve been really bothered by how unhelpful the tumblr search function can be when trying to find specific pokémon posts I’ve done. So, I figured, what better solution is there than to spend WAAAAY too much time compiling a google document with links to every post? So here it is, the big thing I’ve been working on! This document has a link to all of my posts, sorted into the national pokédex, the regional pokédexes, and the 18 pokémon types. It also includes links to other types of posts, like evolution line spotlights and yearly top-10s. As I make more and more posts, they will be added to the document so that it stays up to date. If you come across any issues with it (and I’m sure there are, as there’s plenty of room for error with something like this), like misspellings, incorrect pokédex numbers, etc, please feel free to let me know in the comments on either this post or my pinned one (where the link to the doc will also be found). Anyway, it’s perhaps not super flashy, but it took a long time to make so I hope you find it useful if you enjoy the blog! Thanks for your patience!

Link to the Index: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18I0JUJfxdauxPZNfIeQbsLFA2imSoiqMKi08mOaxmec/edit

[Oh, and since I don’t know how to share a google doc anonymously, this whole thing is a name reveal. Hi, I’m Jackson (he/him) :) ]

#pokémon #pokemon

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somedayillbepeterpan · 2 months

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FOR BONUS POLINWEEK

DAY ONE | Favourite Season 3 scene: The Butterfly ball

PART 1: THE VENUE AND A FULL CIRCLE MOMENT

Disclaimer: This is going to be a series because the chokehold this scene has on me has been feral. I've ruminated on this scene for such a long time because I want to give it justice. I literally just need this out of my head so I can move on so I hope you can come on a journey with me 🤣 Also, this is my first time participating in Polin week and I'm so excited!

I have made a prior post about the Butterfly ball and it is what made me dive into the deepest end of this rabbit hole. Here it is if you're interested in it - Butterfly ball: Colin and Marina vs. Colin and Pen

_____ Notice how this venue is circular? Yes, the Mondrich ball also had a circular dance floor but the opening of this scene with the Dankworths and Finches particularly had circular sweeping shots, making you feel like you're inside a ball (the thing, not the event).

A subtle way of telling you that this scene is a FULL CIRCLE MOMENT.

WHERE IT ALL STARTS AND HOW IT CLOSES A 3-ARC STORYLINE.

Let me first paint the picture from S1.

S1E1: Diamond of the First Water - Danbury ball

I don't know if anyone has clocked this but Pen and Colin's love story, the scene where it became very obvious to us that Pen has a one-sided crush on Colin, is at her very first ball as a debutante wearing a BUTTERFLY DRESS.

As a freshly minted debutante, this is the first time that Pen sees Colin in a setting like this-- as an eligible suitor and we can see from her face that the scene she is seeing is making her feel all sorts of emotions. The Penelope scene we get before this was when she was convincing her mother to let her skip the season as she feels wholly unprepared for it. It is very evident on her face how affected she is to see Colin as a potential husband.

If anyone remembers themselves as a 17/18 year old, I know that there were instances where one would think about finding the "one" at that young age, when your emotions/feelings about love are still so innocent and untainted. We know from S3/book that Pen fell in love with Colin from the moment they first met but growing up with him and having a crush on him vs. seeing him as a potential partner in the marriage mart surely opened up a plethora of emotions and ideas inside Pen's head.

Aside from that, this is also the first ball that Pen writes about in her column where she openly challenges the Queen's taste (ma'am, you are but 17. How can you have the gall to challenge the head of your state so openly?). We are also introduced to the dysfunction of the Featheringtons'-- Philippa and Prudence being as ignored as Pen and Portia being insecure and egotistical.

To begin this deep dive into this analysis, Pen started her debutante season unprepared, insecure, very much infatuated with an idea of Colin in her head (especially after he "rescued" her by the end of S1E1), and in over her head as she hides behind LW.

A quick research about yellow butterfly symbolism gave me this definition: Yellow butterflies symbolise positivity, hope, and transformation. Seeing one might mean good news or big, positive changes are headed your way.

It took her 3 seasons to fulfill the "prophecy" of this yellow butterfly dress but we do get there and it is so much more than we could have ever hope for for this adorable wallflower.

This metamorphic journey has just began.

(posts will be updated with links as I put out the next ones in the series).

PART 2: THE COLOURS, THE FEATHERS, AND THE NUMBER 8

#polinweek #the butterfly ball #the butterfly dress #a full circle moment #polin #bridgerton #nicola coughlan #luke newton #netflix #bridgerton seaosn 3 #bridgerton season three #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton season 3 #netflix bridgerton #bonus polinweek #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #penelope bridgerton #peterpanbutterflyball

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stinkykitty8 · 5 months

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DOING YOKI FIRST :3

(Yoki belongs to me!!! Everything else credits to Gatobob!!!)

WARNING

This post incudes very heavy topics, nsfw, 18+ stuff, and overall just not very good things. Do not read if you are sensitive to these things.

Read warnings before pressing more please!!!

(Events of BTD 1 happen with Ren and Strade but Ren was kidnapped at 19 and decided to escape at 21, still dealing with a bit of stockholm syndrome he never actually goes to police after.)

After escaping Strade and building himself back up Ren ends up paying a prostitute to fuck during his heat. And because of this it caused an accidental pregnancy she didnt want. She wanted nothing to do with the baby but she also couldn't afford to get rid of it. Instead she just waited it out and after having Yoki she tracked down Ren and gave Yoki to him. Ren took full custody of her and Yoki's mom hasnt been seen since. Ren named Yoki (full name Yokino) and raised her all by himself even thoughit was a bit of a struggle. Ren allowed Yoki to be more free and give into her animalistic instincts more which also caused her to be much more animalistic then Ren. Aka being more feral and getting triggered much easier around like blood or food (especially when hungry). As a young child she really liked meat of course, especially rabbit. Due to Ren taking her out into the woods sometimes and allowing her to hunt she enjoyed bringing back a fresh kill with her bare hands (even when being young she was still able to do it). He doesnt mind Yoki hunting on her own, actually enjoys it and is happy it makes her happy. As long as she doesn't come back home covered in blood or brings the dead animal she killed on the porch he doesnt care. Hes proud of his little girl. At a young age Yoki was introduced to Rens jobs but she didnt really care. Since she basically grew up with it even as a baby its sorta just a thing she knows about and Ren does. They are animals afterall. They have to give into their instincts at some point. Over time Ren started disposing of his 'stars' a different way by giving them to his private chef and asking them to cook it. It helped dispose of bodies easier and quicker all while having a good meal after. Because of this Yoki developed a taste for human flesh. Now she can't go a week without having her favorite meal, human heart. From rabbit hearts to human hearts. Yoki absolutely loves shopping and spending daddys money. Like once a week she gets his black card and goes shopping. Ren doesnt mind though since at this point hes pretty loaded. Plus he loves making his little girl happy. Ren and yoki have probably the most healthiest relationship out of all 3 kids. Ren has raised her well and the best way he can all while giving her a comfortable happy life.

As a young child yoki was often bullied in school for being a freak since beastkin are rare to find. It wasnt until around highschool she started to gain popularity due to her getting popular online. Shes your average tiktok and Instagram girly and being the daughter of a rich guy everyone wanted to be her friend after that. During middle school though she did make a few friends (and a few enemies) but nothing to serious. Basil was her number one friend all the way though just because of how well they bonded together (or well she bonded with basil). She saw him as a close friend and even better a brother to her. And with Hanz. Well he was the little prick. He was the main person that targeted both Yoki and Basil, picking on them and even going so far as to pull on Yoki's tail. Then one day he hust stopped and started staying to himself. Nobody knows what happened to Hanz during that and he never said what happened. Yoki alway knew Ren had scars but never knew what caused them. After learning some information from Hanz when they were older she gets help from one of Rens men to get on the web and check out of what she heard was true, and after snooping around on Strades account she finds out why Ren is that way. And due to this she gets in a small fight with Hanz but they end up settling it out. Yoki and Hanz are sorta a thing when older? But not? Its nothing serious. Mainly because Ren doesnt accept or like it at all. If he could he'd kill Hanz and Strade. He wants nothing to do with strade whatsoever even though Hanz did nothing wrong. Ren found out about Hanz and Strade during a parent teacher conference. Ren knew about Hanz before because Yoki would complain he would pick on her but after finding out it was strades kid he seemed to hate them both even more. Ren would have pulled yoki out of school if it wasnt for it being the only decent school around and plus he wanted Yoki to interact with other children. He couldnt just take that from her and hide her away. So he just protected her from afar. Ren wants nothing to do with Strade and as long as he doesn't bother him or Yoki he doesnt care. Strade likes the thought of fucking with Ren even if hes not doing anything. He could just sit back and relax as Hanz does all the work for him.

Yoki does know a bit of Japanese from Ren and Ren taught her a bit about their culture (trying to remember what his mother taught him). After getting older she could maybe only remember a few things but not everything.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ASK!!! :3

(Hopefully i wrote everything correctly and it makes sense X3)

#btd #boyfriend to death #btd oc #fan kids #btd fan kids #ren hana #strade #tpof #the price of flesh #kittys fan kids #yoki hana #kitty8 ocs #art

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chelseachilly · 1 year

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til you come back home

pairing: reader x ben chilwell summary: you really miss your boyfriend while he’s in the US for preseason, so you decide to give him a special surprise when he returns ;) warnings: smut, 18+ word count: 3.1k

author’s note: thanks for the request @a-little-bit-rascal ! also inspired by everyone (myself included) thirsting over all the ben content in preseason lmao. i hope this is something like what you had in mind ☺️ i’m not super experienced writing smut so bear with me but i hope people enjoy this, i have a couple more one-shots i’ll be working on in addition to the next chapter of this love. oh and the title is from i don’t wanna live forever by taylor & zayn

Not to be too dramatic, but you’re pretty sure the two weeks Ben is away in the US for the preseason tour are the longest of your life.

You’ve been with Ben for a little over a year now, and you’ve always found him incredibly attractive. From the moment you saw him at a mutual friend’s party, you were drawn to him. It only took you one drink to decide that you wanted to sleep with him, and two more to actually go for it.

You’re very grateful you didn’t ask him what he does for a living until after he shagged you in your friend’s guest room, as you may have chickened out if you knew he was a hotshot footballer. And also because Ben found it incredibly endearing when you complimented his toned body afterward and asked if he played any sports in his free time.

A few days later, when he finally used the number you gave him and called you up, you were somewhat expecting it to be a booty call. The sex had been great, for both of you, so you weren’t totally surprised by that. You were surprised when he asked you to go to dinner first.

The rest was history, as you found it to be just as easy to fall in love with Ben Chilwell as it was to fall into bed with him.

Your sex life has never wavered since that first date, except for when he’s been away for games or injured and under doctor’s orders not to engage in any physical activities - though he certainly still tried.

Even after all this time, Ben still has a power over you that no guy ever has, the ability to make you crumble with one look from his piercing eyes or the touch of his hand on your thigh.

Which is why it’s incredibly frustrating when he’s looking so fit and he’s thousands of miles away in stupid America.

He’s been looking particularly good recently, and you’re not sure if it’s his tan from the summer holiday, the way his hair has grown out a bit, the extra time he’s been putting in at the gym, or maybe even the confidence he’s getting back after a tough season. Regardless of what it is, it’s really making it challenging to be apart from him.

Every time the Chelsea Instagram posts a picture of him training or he FaceTimes you from his hotel room, you find it increasingly hard not to drop everything at work and just fly to the States immediately.

Watching him play in the match against Wrexham, when he scores a goal in the 94th minute wearing the captain’s arm brand and proceeds to tear off his shirt on live television, nearly makes you scream out of sheer frustration.

How dare your boyfriend be so hot when you can’t immediately have him?

By the time the tour is over and they’re set to return to London, you’re bursting at the seams with pent-up desire. They’re supposed to land in London around eight that evening, and the thought of waiting for him to get through customs, take the team bus to Cobham, then get an Uber to your flat feels torturous.

As soon as Ben texts you that they’re about to take off and that he‘ll be at yours by ten, you decide you can’t wait that long.

You know they’re flying into Stansted, so you whip out your laptop and your credit card and book a room at the nicest airport hotel you can find.

You’re not only eager to finally touch Ben and have your way with him after two long weeks apart, but also to show him how proud you are of him. Despite all the adversity he’s faced over the past couple of years, he’s going into the new season with a positive attitude. He’s not only playing well, he’s taking on more of a leadership role within the club and showing everyone just how crucial he is to their success.

So you’re determined to make your reunion romantic and special for him as well, taking the opportunity to treat your boyfriend before another intense season.

You head over to the hotel in advance to set up the room for him, pulling out all the stops - champagne, rose petals on the bed, candles. You have a romantic playlist ready filled with songs you both love. Ben has frequently shown his love for you with romantic gestures, whether it be whisking you to Paris for a weekend or surprising you with fancy dinners, so you’re excited to be returning the favour for a change.

As their arrival time approaches, you head over to the airport and wait for him.

It seems to take ages, but eventually you see some of the boys begin to trickle in and your heart thumps with anticipation.

A few of the guys who you know well stop to smile and say hello to you on their way to the bus, all clearly a bit surprised to see you there.

“Hey, Y/N!” Reece says with a grin as he passes you. “Does Ben know you’re here?”

“No, it’s a surprise,” you say a bit sheepishly.

“He’s gonna lose his mind,” Reece chuckles. “Bro hasn’t shut up about you the entire time we were in the States-“

“Y/N?”

You look over Reece’s shoulder to see Ben standing there, luggage in hand, looking absolutely awestruck.

He’s wearing his club t-shirt and joggers, and his hair is a bit messy from napping on the plane. He looks adorable, especially his bright smile that only seems to be growing with every second that he looks at you.

You begin to run toward him on instinct and he barely has time to drop his bag before you’re throwing your arms around him and he’s catching you.

Ben’s arms wrap around your waist and he lifts you off the ground for a moment, spinning you around slightly with unbridled joy. It feels so good to be in his arms again, his warmth enveloping you.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Ben murmurs in your hair, pressing kisses to your shoulder. “How - I mean, why are you here? You didn’t have to pick me up from the airport.”

“I know, but I wanted to surprise you,” you say with a smile, pulling back to look at him and cup his face with both hands. “I missed you like crazy.”

Ben stares back at you for a moment, his eyes overflowing with affection, before leaning in to press a long overdue kiss to your lips. You sigh into the kiss and slide your fingers into his hair, tugging at it slightly.

“Best surprise ever,” Ben murmurs against your lips before deepening the kiss.

You continue to kiss him until you’re both out of air and you realize you can’t go any further in a busy airport surrounded by his teammates.

“Let’s go home,” Ben whispers, pecking your lips once more. “Did you drive?”

“Mhm, but I actually have another surprise for you,” you smirk, patting his cheek. “I got us a room at the Raddison across the street.” You lower your voice slightly. “So I can show you how much I missed you.”

Ben’s eyes light up as he realizes he’s going to get to have you a lot sooner than he thought, and he leans in to kiss you again.

“You’re amazing.”

Ben says goodbye to the boys, receiving a lot of knowing smirks and pats on the back before he hastily grabs his suitcase and your hand and begins to drag you away.

You both quickly make your way over to the hotel, holding hands tightly, filled with anticipation.

When you get to your room, you barely make it through the door before Ben is pushing up up against it and kissing you firmly, his bags discarded on the floor and his arms around your waist.

“I missed you so much,” he sighs against your mouth as you eagerly respond, your hands once again finding his fluffy hair and messing it up even more. “I missed this.”

“Imagine how I felt,” you say between kisses. “Having to watch you be all sexy on TV and you posting all those thirst traps on Insta-“

“Babe, they’re not thirst traps,” Ben defends, slipping his hand under your jumper so he can feel your bare skin.

“Well, it‘s still not fair for you to be looking so fit when I’m not able to have sex with you,” you whine, tugging at his shirt so he’ll get the message and take it off.

Once Ben has removed his shirt, you allow both your eyes and your hands to explore his toned shoulders and arms, gently squeezing his biceps.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Ben says with a small smile as he watches you check him out. “What’s my punishment?”

“I’m not going to punish you,” you say with a sly smile, pecking his lips once more before backing away from him, making him pout a bit at the loss of contact. “You’re getting rewarded tonight, Benjamin.”

“For the wins?” Ben asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“That, and for finally getting your arse home to me,” you smile, reaching out a hand for him to follow you further into the room.

Ben eagerly follows, his eyes lighting up once again when he sees the effort you’ve gone to for your little reunion celebration.

“I get all this just for coming home?” he asks, his voice thick with emotion and his eyes shining with awe.

You shake your head as you light a few of the candles and hit play on your Spotify, creating an even more romantic atmosphere.

“No, you get all this because I love you,” you say softly, shimmying out of the light sundress you were wearing to reveal his favourite black lingerie set. “This is what you get for coming home.“

Ben’s eyes darken and he wastes no time crossing the room to meet you, grabbing your waist and kissing you with such fervour that you immediately moan into his mouth.

His hands trail down to your butt and squeeze slightly before gripping your thighs and hoisting you up into his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist and the friction making both of you sigh with pleasure.

He carries you over to the bed, the rose petals scattering as he lays you down and begins hastily removing his joggers. When he’s in only his boxers, he climbs over you and kisses you again.

The sight of him hovering over you, his strong arms holding him up and his fluffy hair in his forehead as he meets your gaze is enough to make you melt into the duvet, your centre already burning with desire.

“What do you want, baby?” you breathe as he begins to trail kisses over your neck and collarbone. “It’s up to you tonight.”

“I wanna fuck you,” Ben says in a gravelly whisper, making you throb even more for him. “Been too long.”

“Then do it,” you reply, bucking your hips upward, desperate for friction.

Ben doesn’t have to be told twice - he immediately brings one of his hands down to touch you over your underwear. He strokes the fabric for a second before slipping his fingers underneath and feeling your folds.

“So wet for me already, love,” Ben murmurs as he begins to rub your clit with his thumb, making you moan.

It doesn’t last nearly long enough before he’s pulling away, and though you want him inside you more than anything right now, you can’t help but whine a bit.

“Patience, baby girl,” Ben says, stripping off your knickers and tossing them to the floor.

He abruptly sits up, pulling you with him so you’re sitting in his lap, and kissing you passionately. You can now feel his hardened cock through his briefs against your bare pussy and it’s becoming torturous to go another second without him inside you.

“Ben,” you breathe between kisses. “Need you.”

“I thought I was in charge?” Ben comments, reaching for your bra clasp and removing it in one swift movement.

“You are, but-“

You’re shut up quickly when Ben takes one of your nipples in his mouth and sucks on it teasingly, making your eyes shut tightly with pleasure.

You run your hands through his hair as he pays attention to your breasts that he so clearly missed, eventually trailing his kisses back up your chest and to your lips.

You kiss him hungrily, tugging at his hair a bit and exploring his mouth with your tongue.

Much less gently than before, Ben flips you over and presses you down against the bed, continuing to kiss you as he finally rids himself of his boxers.

Glancing down at you, now laid out on the comfortable mattress completely naked with your hair fanned out against the pillows, Ben takes a moment to catch his breath.

“You’re fucking unreal,” he exhales, dropping another kiss to your lips. “So beautiful.”

You blush a bit - of course Ben could find a way to fluster you with his words even as you’re moments away from him being inside you.

You kiss him once more before reaching down to take his length in your hand, and it’s already hardened enough that it only takes a few pumps of your hand before he’s fully erect for you.

He positions himself at your entrance and, despite both of your eagerness, waits for your small nod of confirmation as always before he sinks down into you.

You gasp and Ben lets out a low groan as he enters you fully, and he has to pause and hide his face in your neck for a moment to regain control before he begins thrusting into you.

You’re aware that two weeks isn’t that long, but it certainly feels like it’s been ages since you’ve done this. The two of you have a very healthy sex life, engaging in some kind of sexual activity nearly every day unless you’re both exhausted or Ben’s away for a game or something.

The pleasure begins to grow as Ben starts to pick up the pace and intensity of his thrusts, both of your sighs and groans mingling together.

“You feel so good, baby,” Ben says as he reaches up to tangle your fingers together, squeezing tightly. “Missed you so much.”

“I missed you more,” you sigh. “Had to get myself off after I watched you score that goal. Missed our tradition.”

It’s become a tradition since you’ve been together that you and Ben have celebratory sex after he scores a goal - as quickly as possible. Sometimes you have to wait until you get home, other times it’s happened in empty rooms at Stamford Bridge or even his car once.

“Fuck, so did I,” Ben groans, thrusting a bit harder this time and making you cry out. “Wasn’t as good, though. Nothing’s ever as good without you there.”

As Ben starts to go faster, you wrap your legs around his waist to shift the angle and get him as deep as possible, making both of you see stars as you’re approaching your climax.

“I wanna cum with you, baby,” Ben breathes, “are you close?”

“Mhm,” you manage to choke out as Ben’s cock hits a sensitive spot inside you.

Ben reaches down and lightly massages your clit with his thumb before thrusting into you once more.

The combination of him stimulating you and burying himself deep inside you makes you lose control, and you cry out his name as feel yourself coming all around him.

Ben is just moments behind you as he pushes into you one more time then crumbles with a low groan, collapsing on top of you.

You stroke his hair as you both come down from your climax, Ben pressing soft kisses to your collarbone.

“I love you so much,” Ben murmurs against your skin, sending a new wave of goosebumps across your body.

“I love you too, Ben,” you whisper, kissing his forehead.

Eventually your bodies stop twitching with reverberated waves of pleasure and Ben gently pulls out of you, leaving you with a peck to the cheek as he quickly runs to the bathroom to get a washcloth and clean you both up.

After you’ve sorted yourselves, Ben climbs back under the covers and opens his arms wide for you to climb into. You happily curl up against his chest, feeling his arms tighten around you, and you think you may have missed this almost as much as the sex.

“I hope you know you’ve set my expectations for coming home unreasonably high,” Ben jokes as he strokes your bare back with one hand. “I’m gonna need you to pick me up at the airport every time now.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” you respond sincerely, kissing his chest a few times. “Have I mentioned I missed you?”

“Once or twice,” he laughs, tilting your chin up for another long, tender kiss that makes your toes curl and your heart soar. “I missed you too. I’m so glad we have tomorrow off. We have a lot to catch up on.”

“That’s true, we still haven’t finished the new episodes of The Bear-“

“I meant sex, sweetheart, but that too,” Ben chuckles, “and loads of cuddles. It was so hard sleeping without you while I was gone.”

“I know,” you sigh, burrowing impossibly closer to him and his warmth. “My bed was too cold without you.”

You rest in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of Ben’s embrace, before resting your chin on his chest to look up at him.

“You ready for round two already, darling?” Ben asks with a relaxed smile, brushing his nose against yours.

Without a reply, you slip out of his arms and walk over to pour each of you a glass of champagne, still fully unclothed. Ben’s eyes remain fixed to your body the entire time.

When you walk right past the bed, Ben whines a bit and you can already picture his puppy dog eyes before you turn back around to face him.

“Where are you going?” Ben complains.

“I need a shower,” you say nonchalantly, taking a sip from your glass. “You ready for part two of your reward?”

Ben’s eyes nearly roll back in his head as he rushes to get out of bed comically fast, following you into the bathroom as you giggle at his excitement.

You realize later, after you’ve sucked his dick in the shower and he’s returned the favour back in bed, that you may have sent him the wrong message by rewarding him for driving you mad while he was gone, but oh well.

You’ve got a girls trip to Capri coming up in a few weeks, and you can think of a few ways to get your revenge.

thank you for reading!! also let me know if anyone wants to be added to a taglist for any future ben fics! 💕

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x y/n #ben chilwell imagine #chelsea fc imagine #my fics

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hms-tardimpala · 2 months

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Ficbinding: The Bone Eater by CluckU

(Listen, taking pics is not my talent. Just ignore the Wrestlemania tier list in the background.)

The fic: SPN, Castiel/Dean Winchester, E, 119.3k This fic is amazing. It's dark as I like and breathtaking, and it's a fantastic exploration of my favorite character, Dean Winchester. He's completely believable as CluckU writes him, there's not a doubt in my mind that that's how he would react if kidnapped and fed on by a minotaur, even at the times in the story when I wished he'd go against his instincts to protect himself. Also, the monster in this fic is so cool. He's well written, menacing, pathetic in a way, and so terrifying because of the way he feeds and how implacable he is. Special mention to the whole Misery vibe of this fic and especially chapter 15, that was so well done. Read the tags.

The bind: This is one of my most complex works to date, for several reasons. Let's start with the palette. White for te very bare cell Dean lives in and to contrast with other colors; red on the endbands and ribbon for blood (and there's a lot of it here); silver on the edges and endpapers for the medical instruments and table; black because I don't have grey cloth and I thought it'd contrast better with white to make the prison bars pattern.

The first difficulty was trimming and sanding the textblock. It was too thick for my ream cutter and as I said before, I'm losing my faith in it. So I trimmed each one of the 18 signatures by hand, then sanded the block with my new power sander. It took a long time and made a lot of noise, and the heat made it hard to work for long, but I'm loving this new tool. The smoothness of the edges was so satisfying.

Then I spray-painted edges for the first time. And it didn't go so well. It seemed okay, but for some reason paint still rubs off my fingers even though it's dry, so I have to be very careful when handling the book. I'm thinking of giving up acrylic paint in favor of laque spray next time.

Another thing I was apprehensive about was the straight spine. I'm a round spine guy, I have very little experience with straight ones, but it went alright! It's good! I don't think I'll make it a regular occurrence, though, I find it nerve-racking.

The last tricky thing was the cover pattern. (You can see it well in the sun if you click on the picture above.) It wasn't hard to think up or to figure out, mathematically speaking, but it was long, hard work in the July heat to cut the strips and glue them on the cover in a regular fashion. Took me hours. But it came out looking great! I did make a little mistake, though: I prepared the casing last night and I was so tired I glued the book in it by automatism, but I should have added the stripes before putting the book together.

Now, the typesetting!

I could have used a Greek theme throughout, but the minotaur myth is too modernized in this story for that, so I confined these references to the front page. A non-serif font because this is mostly Dean's POV and if you've read my previous ficbinding post, you know my feelings on that. And then bones! For the chapter headings, I used a pelvic bone that cradles the chapter number. The only chapter with a different heading is chapter 15, with the hand, for reasons obvious to those who have read the fic. And a nice femur as a divider. Really, the pelvis, hand and femur are the most important bones in The Bone Eater. The all look crisp, I'm happy with that.

Any reservations?

I wrestled with my printer a while and couldn't get it to print the right shade of red, I'll have to look into that next time.

Wow, I had a lot to say this time! It was a very interesting one, craft-wise.

Fonts: title and chapter numbers: Lethal Craze Demo, author name: Hey August, text: TT Fors Trial. All free on Dafont.

Materials: Black and white cloth from Schmedt, 2mm grey board, 70g/m² white copy paper, synthetic bookmark and headbands. Silver endpaper bought in store.

Feel free to ask me more about materials and fonts (or whatever), it won’t bother me at all to tell you what I used, I just can't think of anything else right now.

#bookbinding #ficbinding #my bookbinding #spn #spn fic rec #fanbinding

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vixentheplanet · 1 year

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afterglow

“just don’t go, meet me in the afterglow.”

shuri x black!reader | 18+

Summary: You've been dating Shuri for a year. For a year, your relationship has evolved, revealing the challenges and joys of deepening connections.

A disagreement puts a momentary strain on your communication after the two of you fail to see eye to eye. You stop for something that will undoubtedly capture Shuri's attention before your next journey to Wakanda.

part one: heartbeat

word count: 4k

themes: heiress reader, little couple disagreement, make-up sex

warnings: sex

hi 💋 - idek what the summary was for this but LMAO the first time i posted this i never specified how long they were together and everyone was like typical lesbians 😭 BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER 🙄 they got married and had kids i’ll post the last part later.

also idk if i’ll post versace on the floor it doesn’t really add anything unless people want to read it

Since you and Shuri began dating, your time was divided between home and Wakanda.

You were now Esmé's Head of Interior Design back at home. Your father appointed you to the role after you assisted in overseeing the interior development of the Monaco Resort. The next step was to renovate the interiors of all Esmé Hotels one city/country at a time. That entailed a lot of flying between countries to look at furniture and meeting with a number of designers to help you get the aesthetic you wanted. Surprisingly, you enjoyed all the hard work that went into it.

Wakanda was breathtaking, the most gorgeous place you'd ever seen in your life. Shuri took you on a tour of her lab, telling you about its products and features. You had no idea what she was saying, but her face lit up as she spoke, and you enjoyed seeing that spark of excitement in her eyes. She took you to all of her favorite spots, and you got to meet Okoye and M'Baku. It pleased you that she had a support system when you weren't there. Now that you were dating, it made little sense for Shuri to fly to New York when you had more freedom to come to her; she could remain where she was needed.

By the end of this week, you’d be back in Wakanda for a two-week vacation. The two weeks were strictly no work, phone calls, or emails. You were going off the grid and away. You would never expect Shuri to do the same thing, but she always prioritized you.

There was an issue, as excited as you were. You and Shuri were fighting, not fighting but at an impasse. Making your relationship public was a tricky subject. On the one hand, Shuri's response was a firm no. You could understand at first, but as things progressed and became more serious, you brought it up repeatedly, a no. So you pushed and pushed and pushed until finally, Shuri raised her voice, which she never does.

Every couple argues. It's human nature to find yourself on opposing sides. Nobody will ever agree on everything. In those moments when things got heated, your fault, Shuri would tell you she’ll talk to you once you calmed down. Never did you think she would yell at you. In response, you did the first thing that came to mind and hung up on her.

Though, from the outside, Shuri would appear to be in the "wrong," you knew it was primarily your fault. You felt bad for bringing up the topic, but you wouldn't live in New York if you were afraid of otherworldly danger. You eventually cooled off and acknowledged that she had a point and that perhaps you hadn't been as reasonable as you could have been, but a week had passed without either of you apologizing or bringing up the incident.

She contacted you again to ensure you were still coming to Wakanda on Friday. Did she expect you to change your mind? Though you'd be back in each other's company, everything had been tense since that night. You hate it, and the distance wasn’t helping. You changed into your pajamas and went downstairs to the bar as soon as the call ended; it was more responsible than heading out to the club.

There were already people inside dressed in suits and designer clothes, presumably looking at you as if you were insane. Who cares what they think, this is your hotel. After all, you had more important things to worry about than the opinions of strangers.

"Marco, what do you do if you get into a disagreement with your significant other?" You whine as you stir the straw in your second Bronx Cocktail.

Macro paused in the middle of polishing a glass and placed a hand thoughtfully on his chin. "Well, Madam Esmé, I'd apologize."

The opportunity for apologizing had long passed. It was too late by the time you acknowledged you were being stubborn and that something this trivial wasn't worth it; there was tension in your relationship. "And when an apology isn't enough."

“Sex.” He responds as if it’s the most obvious answer.

You take another long sip of your drink. You're not drunk enough to start talking about your sex life in public. "Marco, be serious. I need a real solution.” Sex was tempting, but what if Shuri was too upset to consider it?

The bartender served a martini to an older woman seated a few seats apart from you. You figure she's alone until you notice a ring of at least ten carats on her finger. Impressive. Marco refocuses his attention on you, "That is a real solution. It's a way to reconnect after a fight, indicating that the relationship is still intact and that you still want the other."

"I don't mean to interrupt. I couldn't help but overhear." You look to see Mrs. Ten carats trying to interject herself into your conversation.

Well, she’s married, and at this point, no suggestion was a bad one, so why not listen? You turn your body to grant her implicit permission to continue. "Make-up sex is some of the most enjoyable sex you'll ever have."

“Sex can be an excellent way to reconnect with your partner if mixed with verbal communication to resolve your argument after," she explains.

Marco makes a sound of agreement. “Exactly! Sweat it out before you talk it out.” That makes you laugh. You can’t believe you’re having this conversation.

They were both making good points, but you had one other concern. “And what if this significant other isn't in the mood?” You say, frowning.

To be honest, you and Shuri fucked like rabbits. When the two of you were alone, you couldn't keep your hands to yourselves. You've lost track of all the places you and Shuri have spent private moments. A limo, her lab, the Sunbird, inside your purple Maserati, which was impressive considering how little the back seat was. Perhaps it was the distance, but every time you saw each other, you had to go through several rounds to get everything out of your system.

You could not believe you were doubting yourself, given your track record. You just wanted this resolved; this issue had you questioning everything and bringing up sex with Marco and strangers. Jesus.

Nonetheless, you needed to consider all the variables.

“You’ll just have to get very sexy.” The woman says, shrugging her shoulders. “Shouldn’t be hard for you.”

True. Still, you groaned. “Ugh, do you know how hard it is to already be sexy and have to be extra sexy?”

You down the rest of your drink, “You two be happy you don’t have my problems.”

“I would not dream of it, Madam.” And with that, you thank the woman and Marco for their advice and leave a generous tip before heading back upstairs.

The next day, you found yourself in a downtown luxury lingerie and bodywear store. You had your assistant call ahead to reserve the store so you could shop comfortably. You didn't need anyone in your business. Amaya was with you because shopping with a companion is always more fun, plus she was probably the only one you hadn't stopped talking to.

“Wow, you must really be in love.” Amaya is watching you with curious eyes.

“What?” You ask, confused at such a random outburst.

“At first,” she pulls something from the rack, stopping to look at it before shaking her head and putting it back. “Everyone thought you were joking about this relationship.” ‘Relationship’ in air quotes. “Because you never brought them around. Then you entered what I’ll assume is your honeymoon phase because you cut everyone off. Then you started working for your dad. You’ve changed.”

When you and Shuri began dating, you were enamored and wanted to spend as much time as possible with your girlfriend, which led to you spending a lot of time in Wakanda, away from everyone. While it is true that you cut everyone off, it was because you understood your worth and didn't want to be around people who took advantage of you. Furthermore, partying gradually faded from your daily activities, and your time was spent on more important matters.

You roll your eyes, “First of all, outside of you, I don’t know those people. Second, yes, I’ve changed. Sorry, I don’t want to take shots off of strippers anymore.”

“Don’t be so defensive. I’m not saying you’ve changed in a bad way. Whoever this is, it must be serious. You're clearly in love. They’re good for you.”

No doubt you're in love, and it was serious, but how serious? You'd never doubt Shuri's emotions, but you can't spend the rest of your life together, fearful of the outside world. It was a complicated matter which neither of you could agree on.

You were starting to feel overwhelmed. You had twenty-four hours before you had to depart, and you had far too many options before you. Everything looked stunning, with 24K gold hardware and satin elastic banding paired with various luxurious fabrics. It's a lot of choices.

“Do you think this is too much? We should just go to Victoria’s Secret or something.” You ask Amaya while admiring a garter on one of the mannequins. Interesting.

Amaya scoffs as if you said the most offensive thing in the world. “Cheap things like Victoria’s Secret are meant to be thrown off. Altier lingerie like this is meant to be admired. It’s an art, while your body is the canvas.”

She calls the sales associates over for assistance. “Let’s start with a color. Trust me, whatever you pick will drive whoever this is wild.”

Something was off.

Ayo, not Shuri, escorted you to Wakanda. "The Queen has been quite focused these past few days. She will meet you in the Golden City." Ayo explains. Fine, you could accept that. It happened in the past, so that wasn’t out of the ordinary.

However, when you arrived in Wakanda, Shuri was nowhere to be found. The personnel at the Palace recognized you for who you were and your close relationship with their Queen. Two attendants take your things.

"Uh, the pink box is a present you don't have to unpack," you tell one of the staff. The woman nods in acknowledgment.

When you enter the Citadel, two additional Dora Milaje members are waiting for you. "Miss Y/N, the Queen has arranged a spa day for you. These attendants have come to accompany you."

Spa day? “Where’s Shuri?”

“The Queen has business to attend and regrets not being here upon your arrival.” She says immediately. It almost feels rehearsed.

A relaxing day is fun and all, but you want your girlfriend. You put on a robe and a bikini. The facial and massage were comforting, but while you sat in the heated pool, you couldn't help but wonder. Nothing made sense. She didn't pick you up or greet you; now you're being pampered. Wow, she’s trying to distract you. What exactly were you expected to do? Can you imagine going two weeks without seeing each other? You sighed as you exited the pool and found your towel. How can you unwind while your girlfriend is avoiding you?

You put on the robe once more and proceed past the staff, who are prepared to attend to your needs. “I’m fine, thank you.” You say, despite their best efforts to care for you. You figured you would keep your distance and await Shuri in her chambers. You take the elevator to Shuri's floor and notice a familiar face entering the hall.

“Ah, Y/N, it is good to see you. I thought you’d still be in the spa.” Okoye said. So this was definitely planned.

"I was, but I won't be able to relax till I see my girlfriend." You say honestly. You didn’t mind opening up to Okoye. She has always been so kind to you, plus Shuri trusted her.

She hesitates for a moment as if carefully considering her response. "It's not my place to ask, but did something happen between you two?"

"Both yes and no, but yeah." You confess with a sigh. "I know she's avoiding me, but I need to find her and apologize."

"I think if you know your partner well enough, you know exactly where to find her,” Her tone is cryptic, allowing you to determine Shuri's whereabouts. Of course.

You smile. “Thank you, Okoye.” You both go your separate ways after she gives you a slight nod.

Inside, the pink box sat on the rectangular table in the living space. With more difficulty than you would like to admit, you change into the lingerie you bought. The Bordelle set matched perfectly with your YSL sandals. You take a second to admire it in the mirror before wrapping your silk robe over it to conceal what’s underneath as you travel down the hall and into the elevator to Shuri's laboratory.

“Panther, Y/N-“

"You're trying to avoid me." You accuse, cutting off Griot’s introduction of your presence. Shuri is sitting alone in front of the multiple displays, typing away at something. You can see her shoulders stiffen as she turns around at the sound of your voice.

You proceed to list all the things that are wrong with today. "You didn't come to pick me up. You didn't greet me, and the spa was a distraction." As much as you tried to be annoyed, she looked great in her black tracksuit, hair braided back, and the gold of her habitat peeking through the collar. She’s so fine, and it turned you on already.

Shuri lets out a heavy sigh rubbing a hand over her face. “I know. I’m sorry, my love.”

“I wanted to give you some space. I'm ashamed of how I spoke to you, and I wanted to do something nice."

Your heart ached as you saw Shuri's pained expression and realized how guilty she felt. You were so preoccupied with your thoughts that you didn't recognize how your argument affected her.

"I've been putting something together for you." She motions to the panoramic screen as if you comprehend anything on it. You'll ask afterward. "I planned on finishing it before dinner so I could properly apologize, but I see my actions have made matters worse."

You sit on one of the empty surfaces making sure to keep everything intact. With a crooked finger, you beckon Shuri over, and she comes, stopping right in front of you but not close enough. “We can talk about it later. Right now, I don’t want space. I want you.”

You take her hand in yours, putting it underneath your robe so her fingers can brush against the garters on your thigh. Shuri bites her lower lip. “You have five minutes to join me in your bedroom, or the next two weeks will be hell when you can only look but not touch.” With that, you remove Shuri's hand. Her eyes widen at your boldness before smirking, and her pupils dilate, signifying arousal.

It took everything you had to get up from the lab table and walk away from her. As much as you didn't want to, you knew you had to. "Five minutes, Shuri," you call out.

With that, you left, making the journey back to Shuri’s bedroom. You hadn't even gotten past the entryway when you felt a pair of arms lift you from behind. "How long was that?" Shuri whispers into your ear. All you can do is giggle as she carries you inside and places you softly on the bed. She watches you curiously from a distance.

“Want to show me what’s hiding under that robe?” You smirk, making a show of untying the knot in the front and letting the satin fall open and slip down your shoulders. Shuri bites her lip, her eyes roaming all over your body. Your body truly is the canvas showcasing the art of the intricate designs of this atelier body wear.

“Griot,” Shuri called to the AI, flinging off the jacket to her tracksuit. “Please inform everyone in the Palace I will not be disturbed for the rest of the evening.”

“Yes, Panther.”

“All this for me?” She asks, placing her kimoyo beads on the side table.

“Only for you.” You tell her biting your lip.

Shuri comes back in front of the bed. “You look so beautiful, angel.”

You raise your eyebrow. “Are you just going to stare?” She was taunting you, and god, you needed her now.

“I’m just admiring how gorgeous you look before I ruin you.” And that does. You moan while the moisture between your legs grows. The power she has on you, and she hasn't even touched you.

Shuri spent the first part of your evening activities between your legs, using her tongue to coax some of the most delightful screams out of you. You had no idea how long this had been going on; your mind clouded. Shuri adored the sounds you created so much that once was never enough. She took her time taking you apart. Her warm, wet tongue spread you open and greedily soaked up everything your body had to offer.

“Baby,” Your fingers rest on top of her head as your breath hitches. You weren't sure whether to push her away or fully surrender to the pleasure again as she sucked and licked all your most sensitive spots.

Shuri wouldn't let you go when the sensation finally became too much for you. You attempted to escape, but she grabbed hold of the elastic straps that covered your thighs and dragged you back. The flutter in your abdomen grows into a warm pressure, and you know you're coming again.

On instinct, your thighs close around Shuri’s head. She slaps your legs as a warning, and you let go, leaving them parted. As if to reward you, your girlfriend slips two fingers inside you, finding a rhythm that creates the right amount of pressure.

You have another moment of euphoric bliss as you grind down on Shuri's face and fingers. Shuri's palm has a solid hold on your trembling thigh, but it's spread just enough that it doesn't restrict her access. She doesn't stop until you're gasping for air, and you can only say her name as if it were a prayer.

Instead of getting up, she licks her way up your body, and a trail of moisture follows behind her tongue as she stops at your lips. You waste no time bringing her lips to yours, tasting yourself on her lips. Intoxicating.

When it comes time for you to take charge, you're still a little dazed and sensitive. Shuri is relaxed and lets you do all the work as you sink into the strap. With the strap being designed to fit inside you, the stimulation is instant. Not only was it ideal for you, but Shuri created it to provide the optimal pressure level for your girlfriend, which you can control based on the pace and depth of your movement.

“You’re doing so good, baby.” Shuri encourages you while you ride her. As you bounce up and down, you place your hands on the bed above Shuri's head for leverage. Shuri breaks your rhythm when she pulls you close to her.

Even though the bra is sheer, she tugs it down just enough to expose one of your breasts and begins sucking on the nipple. You groan at the suction. Your new position forces you to change your movement, slowly swirling your hips. "Fuck," you gasp, overwhelmed. You sense another climax near and decide to shift angles.

Leaning back slightly, you press both palms on Shuri's thighs behind you. “Mmm, such a good girl.” Shuri groans. The praise makes you throw your head back and work harder.

Your hips stutter as you cry out. The feeling is too strong, and you know your body will stop you, rejecting the possibility of another orgasm. Shuri draws you back to her as if she understands your hesitation.

"Baby, come here." Shuri rises and brings you in closer. You wrap your legs around her waist. Your arms encircle her, and you nuzzle her neck with your face. It was the closeness you had been desperately craving. You were so blissed out that you couldn’t speak anymore.

Shuri guided your hips to create a steady and consistent rhythm. It was slow, but you could feel the warmth increasing with each rock of your hips. Your entire body quivered. “You did so well.” Then she tells you how beautiful you are and how hard you've worked.

“Are you going to come again for me?” You nod.

"You don't have to say anything, but you have to look at me." Shuri rasped, her breath heavy as you let out gentle gasps as you felt her moving inside of you, the heat flowing through your body again, and you wanted to cry. It's way too good.

You lift your head from her neck and stare into Shuri's dilated pupils. Everything is heightened because you can see the intensity in her chocolate-colored eyes and how fixated she is on you. This position is less physically demanding, enabling you both to concentrate on how the pressure is affecting you.

When you come, your sighs become moans, then screams, as the hand on your waist rocks you back and forth faster and faster, driving you further into oblivion. It's pure desperation. Your head is flung backward, and your spine arches as your body spasms. When Shuri comes, the hand guiding you freezes as a loud shout of your name fills the room.

As you melt into Shuri's arms, your body becomes light. The intense orgasm and overwhelming intimacy take you over the edge, and you find yourself crying. "I know, baby," Shuri replies as she strokes your back. "You did amazing."

It takes a few minutes for you to let Shuri separate from you so she can get you both comfortable. It was a normal part of your routine to practice aftercare, but today you found yourself overcome by emotion. When Shuri returns, she removes the remainder of your garments and wraps you in her arms.

Later, when your bodies are intertwined under the tangled sheets, you start talking. You look at Shuri and whisper, "Hi," to find her looking down at you with such tender eyes.

“Hi,” she says, kissing your forehead.

Though you regained your voice, the rush of the orgasm has you fuzzy, so you speak whatever comes to mind. "I'll never have sex with anyone but you." Shuri laughs and shakes her head slightly.

"I hope so," she replies, reaching out a hand to caress the side of your face. "I apologize, my love."

"I'm sorry too." You pout because you adore her.

Shuri intertwines your fingers and brings your hand to her lips, leaving a warm kiss on the skin. "I love you, and your safety is something I will never bargain with. That's why I got angry, but I shouldn't have yelled at you."

“But, I realized instead of saying no, there are other options. So, when you're ready, I'd like you to live here with me." Shuri says it plainly as if she isn't proposing that you spend the rest of your life with her without a ring.

“What?” You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

"I know you want to make our love public, but I can't protect you if we're thousands of miles apart. I'll know you're safe if you live here." Not only does Shuri agree to publicize your relationship, but she's also asking you to move in with her in exchange. Did your orgasm transcend you to a parallel universe?

“I was working on an A.I. for you. If you agreed to live here primarily, I wouldn't expect you never to leave, but significant security precautions would be put in place. Non-negotiable.” She watches you, waiting for a response.

You don't realize how much you're grinning until your cheeks ache. "I'm going to require a closet with an elevator." Shuri rolls her eyes and leans in, your lips joining for a kiss sweeter than any you've shared tonight.

"You can have whatever you want, angel."

#cai fics #re upload #shuri x black!reader #black panther shuri #mcu shuri #shuri black panther #shuri fanfiction #shuri udaku #shuri x reader #shuri x you #shuri fic #princess shuri #shuri x y/n #shuri smut #shuri of wakanda #shuri #queen shuri #letitia wright shuri #shuri imagine

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natashaslittlegirl · 1 year

Text

Whatever you want - Romanoff's Assistant

DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY WORKS. MINORS DNI +18 ONLY.

Summary: You and Natasha attend to the Stark Family's Party.

Boss ! Natasha Romanoff x Assistant ! Reader

Warnings: none

Natasha Romanoff's Masterlist RA Masterlist RA Account Chapter III aesthetic

The week passed already, with your new routine, wake up, get Miss Romanoff's coffee, work until your lunch break and continue until the end of the shift. She didn't have many patients this week, it was more meetings and duty calls.

Miss Romanoff was pleased when you brought her the fully signed folder.

You started your friday a earlier than, got your coffees and headed to work. Once you were on the 27th floor, you left the coffee at Natasha's desk and reviewed her patient's files. You hear the elevator door open and saw your boss walk by.

"Good morning, Miss Romanoff."

"Morning, Y/N, come to my office in five minutes."

"Yes, Miss Romanoff."

You waited for her to settle down and knocked on the door to enter, she asked you to sit down and you saw her open the drawer of her desk. She handed you a gold metallic card and with your name on it. This was the card that she mentionated when you two talked about your contract.

"I need you to go buy yourself a dress for tonight, whatever your preference is, not so short, heels and if you want a purse. Don't worry about the amount, buy whatever you want." She took a sip of coffee and then continue talking. "You have the rest of the day off, go now. Oh, and I need you to leave me your address and phone number on your desk so I can send James to take you to the event," James is her personal driver "just in case, I'll wear black, you can go now."

"Yes, miss romanoff, do you need anything else or me to buy something for you?"

"No, it's fine, thank you." She didn't look at you again and you assume it was time to go.

You left written your address and number on a post it note on the desk, put the card in your wallet and head out to the barista. You're thinking of going with Kate, if she has some free time to go shopping for tonight, you are always open to second opinions.

You enter to the shop and see that it is empty, weird. You greet Kate and ask her if she can come shooping with you.

"If you can't it's fine, Kate, I can go by myself and send you pictures." you said that when you see her hesitate.

"And miss seeing you in a tight dress? You're crazy, let's go." You see her take off her uniform, a brown apron, grab her bag and you go to the door, she turns the sign from 'open' to 'close' and you leave to the center, not before locking the door. You two walk the avenues until you find the Saint Laurent store, a very kindly woman asks you what youare looking for and guides both of you to the clothing dress sector.

Kate starts to look from one side as you from the other one, she shows youa blue dress but you feel that does not go with you, you just shake your head and she hangs it again. You keep looking more in the part of the black dresses, they never fail. She shows you a red one and that might be an option so you keep it separate from the rest.

Finally in the fitting room with three dresses. The red one Kate found and two other black ones you picked out. The first dress, the red one, is long, with a delicate neckline, sleeveless and a slit on the left leg that goes from the thigh to the ankle.

The second, a black one just like the red and the third, black, tight, until a little above the middle of the thigh with a slit also on the left side, neckline under the breasts, not as subtle as the previous dresses, you won't have to wear a bra with this, but you think that this is the one.

Of the long dresses, Kate thought black was the finest, but the reaction she had when you went out with this was the last thing for you to decide.

"Romanoff is going to have a cardiac attack and a pool between her legs as soon as she sees you." That is a very Kate comment.

"Are you serious or are you just playing around? Does it look good?" In fact it fits you well, it fits you perfectly. It straightened you waist and made you see a more delicate figure.

"Y/N/N, how your ass looks in this dress is going to be what lands her in the hospital." You couldn't help but laugh out loud at her comment, but deeply you just hope Miss Romanoff sees you like that.

You also chose a pair of black triangular point high heels and a patent leather envelope.

You two spent a while more walking through Central Park until you decided to have lunch, you chose an italian restaurant. You both ate alfredo pasta while we talked about everyday life. Kate went back to the cafe while you made your way home, took a nap with Lena for about two hours, it was still early. When you woke up you made a coffee and took a bath to start getting ready. As you go out notice that you have a message from an unknown number.

Unknown number

James will pick you up at 7:45, be ready. NR.

You smile at her message, add and answer her.

You

Yes, Miss Romanoff.

You take the dress out of its bag and admire it, it's beautiful. You start to dry your hair, let it loose, luckily you don't have to straighten it since you already have straight hair.

You do a subtle makeup, concealer, foxy eyes and mascara. Red lipstick and gloss, a little highlighter and voila. You look at the time, 7pm still have time. You choose the accessories, a gold necklace just the right length for your neck with a dangling chain that ends between your breasts to give more style to the neckline of the dress, a matching bracelet, gold earings and two rings on your left hand.

You prepare the envelope, lipstick and gloss, deodorant, perfume, wallet and that's it. You put on the dress and heels, a touch of perfume and ready. You take some photos in front of the mirror that is in the living room, feed Lena, give her some kisses and sit on the couch to wait for James.

7:45pm you hear a horn outside your building and at the same time your phone rings indicating a message.

Miss Romanoff

James is outside. NR

You

I'm going.

You kiss Lena and leave the apartment, lock the door and go down the elevator, eighteen floors is a lot to go down the stairs in high heels. As you go out you see James, a tall man in his forties, you guess, he is standing next to the car, waiting to open the door for you.

"Miss, Y/L/N?"

"Yes, it's me" you get in the back once he opens the door and he drives you to the event. It's not your first time at an event like these, but she doesn'y have to know. James leaves you at the door with the instruction to go inside and wait for Miss Romanoff there.

You hope no one recognizes you, thats's kind of impossible but, come on, let's see what the night awaits.

You entered at the event and a lady at the reception asks for your name to be able to pass, she gives you a card in case you need to leave. The room is full of people, it's beautifully decorated, white curtains on the walls, round tables with silk tablecloths and golden chairs.

Before you can continue looking at the decoration you see her walking towards you, her hips slowly moving from side to side, mesmerizing. She is so beautiful. Long black dress with a slit on the left thigh, a plunging neckline with delicate straps, stiletto heels and a black handbag as well. Just a necklace as an accessory, she definitely doesn't need them, she's amazingly stunning.

"Y/N," she stops in front of you "Come, I want to introduce you to some investors."

"Yes, Miss Romanoff." She turns around to walk and her hips look so much more mesmerizing from this angle.

Natasha introduces you to three investors, she tells them about you degrees and your work in her company. She talks so proudly about your work that you can't recognize her, is she really proud of you, well, what you achieved? Or is she just showing you off as a trophy?

You talked about the company, what they were willing to invest in and what they wanted to win with it. Taking advantage of this charity event, Miss Romanoff, convinced the three men to donate in favor of her company and later, in the week, you all would have a meeting to go deeper in matter.

She has an enormous ability to make people do what she says, she seems to cast spells, you don't know how she does it, but you'll do anything she asks of you.

Miss Romanoff catches your eye and tells you to head to the bar, she orders two martinis and hands one to you as you both sit in the tall gilt chairs. You see that she opens her purse and takes out her phone, she looks intently for a message, smiles and types her reply, which you can't see actually and puts her phone away.

"Y/N, I need you to pay attention to me," when people start with that phrase something important is going to happen "there is a woman coming now, who I need to associate with my company in some way, any way actually. I need you to get her attention and try to convince her to donate for Romanoff's company, do you understand?" She takes a sip of her martini and raises an eyebrow waiting for your response.

"Yes, Miss Romanoff, but why me? I'm sure you can convince people better than me."

"Because I say so and you are going to do what I order you, is that clear or do I have to repeat myself?"

"No, Miss Romanoff. I will do as you order." You see that characteristic smirk on her face.

"Good girl."

You run out of words. She really just called you good girl? oh my-

"She's here." she says looking at the the door cutting off your thoughts, You see the woman you have to convince. Miss Romanoff gets up from her seat and pat your thigh for you to follow her, you swallow hard and go after her.

"It's good to see you again," Natasha says after hugging the women "I want to introduce you to my new assistant, Y/N Y/L/N." Natasha runs her hand behind ypur lower back and pulls you in front of her.

"Nice to meet you, Miss?" You ask.

"Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff, darling." what a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.

"It's a pleasure Miss Maximoff." she puts a smirk on her face and oh god why do all the beautiful women do this to you?

"The pleasure is all mine." She turns her attention back to Natasha to ask about her daily life, you take this as an exit and head to the bar again to order another martini.

Natasha's pov

I watch Y/N ��walk over to the bar as Wanda starts asking questions about my life. Seriously? Is that dress did she choose to wear? Don't get me wrong, the way it settles her perfect figure against her body, oh, suddenly I find myself jealous of a fucking dress.

"She is hot." Wanda says and I turn confused to see her face.

"What did you say?"

"Don't say no, I always trust your taste in women because, we have the same taste." She winks at me and I roll my eyes.

"She's my assistant, Wanda." I pause to lick my bottom lip, suddenly seeing Y/N talking so closely with the waitress dries my mouth. Wanda hummed and I excuse myself to go get her. I walk to her seat watching her laugh at something the girl behind the bar told her, "Y/N, a word." It came out in a harsher tone than I expected.

"Yes, Miss Romanoff, sorry Kara, we'll talk later." she excuses herself to the waitress as she smiles at her and then looks at me. "What do you need, Miss Romanoff?"

"I need you to do your job, not giggle and messing around with the waitress, that's what I need." again, rougher than I expected. She widens her eyes confused, "I told you you had to convince Wanda, why did you leave?" I try to explain to her more calmly so that she relaxes.

"Sorry, Miss Romanoff, I thought it was none of my business to hear what you were talking about with Miss Maximoff." I see her gulp and start playing with the ring on her left hand.

"It's okay, Y/N, stop doing that," I grab her hand to make her nervous go away. She looks me in the face, "now go and convince Wanda to invest in my company." she nods and before she releases my hand I lean in close to her ear and whisper.

"If you don't convince her of it there will be consequences." I tease her and with that I hear how she lets out a gasp and walks away looking for Wanda.

Your Pov

You feel how your underwear is getting ruined because of Miss Romanoff. You see Wanda talking to an investor so you decide to go to the bar to get some martinis to share with her. Once you have them ypu wait for the man to leave and you approach where she is.

"Miss Maximoff, a martini?" you hand t to her and she gladly accepts it.

"Well, how to say no to such a pretty girl?" She takes a drink and you hear a sigh escape from between her lips as she taste the liquid "It's very nice."

"Indeed," you take a sip of your drink too as you look directly into her eyes, Natasha asked you to convince her, but she didn't say how "Miss Maximoff, have you thought about which company to invest in yet?"

"Not yet, I would like to talk to more people before making a decision. Why? are you here to convince me, darling?" she asks ypur raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe I am, maybe I just want to hear from you, you'll never know."

"Well, if you keep bringing me drinks to share, I might think about investing in Romanoff's company," She looks you up and down, "although, thinking about it, I might invest just to spend more time with you, is that okay with you?"

"Everyone has their ways." You raise your arms as if excusing you and you hear a giggle come out of her mouth. Wanda and you talked about the company, what she expected from it to grow and win. After talking with Wanda, Miss Romanoff and you went talking to several investors, they all seemed pretty convinced of your proposals.

After a while everyone is called to sit down for appetizers while the investors make their decisions, Natasha and you are at one of the center tables but not in front of the stage. The waiters bring the tasting plates while the money is counted. A few minutes go by and Tony Stark makes his presence, the only thing you can think of is that he doesn't want to go talk to you, although you're more than sure he will.

"Good night everyone, in case there is someone who does not know me, I am Tony Stark, Owner of Stark Industries and today I am hosting this event, in a few minutes I will announce which is the company that raised the most money and the names of the investors will be given in a list to the owner of the winning company, good luck to all!" and after that speech he disappeared backstage again.

you're starting to get nervous again, your leg swings and tremble under the table, Miss Romanoff notices and puts her hand on your thigh. "What's up, Y/N?"

"Nothing, Miss Romanoff, don't worry." she nods and looks back at the screen at the side of the stage, without moving her hand from your thigh, well, that makes you even more nervous.

The waiters remove the plates and Tony comes back out with an envelope in his hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, the winning company is" please not Natasha's "Romanoff's company! please give a round of applause to the best psychologist in all of New York please!"

Everyone applauds as Natasha gets up and you feel her squeezing your flesh for you to get up and follow her, you do it and walk to the stage going behind her.

"Congratulations Natasha!" Tony says handing her the envelope with what you guess, will be the names of the investors. Tony turns his head and looks at you surprised but he doesn't say anything.

"Thank you very much to everyone who invested in Romanoff's company, I promise I will not let you down." People clap again, including you, until Natasha steps offstage and you return to our seats.

You go to the bar to get a glass of whiskey for yourself and a martini for Miss Romanoff. While you wait for the drinks you feel an intense gaze, Natasha's gaze, you can't see her much since you find Tony in front of you, fuck.

"Did you really think I wouldn't come to see you, little one?" He comes over to hug me "I'm so sorry about your parents, I'm going to visit them soon." You half smile at him.

"I'm fine, Tony, and so are they now. Don't worry" The waitress calls you to deliver you the drinks and you thought it was your right time to escape but,

"So, you work with Romanoff now, huh?" he tells you as he turns to see Natasha and so do you, coincidentally she is watching your little interaction.

"Yep, that's right. It's about time I found my own way out. If you'll excuse me, I have to go get her martini, but it was nice seeing you again."

"The pleasure is mine, little girl, say hello to your dad and mom for me, okay?" He hugs you again and walks away. You make your way back to the table and meet Miss Romanoff's confused gaze.

"So, do you know him?" she asks you pointing at Tony with her head.

"Yes, Miss Romanoff." You don't give any more explanations and Natasha doesn't ask you again.

The event ends and James picks you up and drops you off at your apartment door. Miss Romanoff must have called him. You stripped you of your clothes and take a hot bath, in the end, it wasn't so bad.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

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mylostloversbookmarks · 1 year

Note

thank you!! My request is: Joel x female reader. Age gap. They met after Joel and Ellie arrived in Jackson, they started to know each other, at first they kept it a bit like a secret but then, when things started to get more serious, they didn’t hide anymore. Things got so serious that after a while (not immediately, like a year or two) Joel asked reader to move in with him and Ellie.

Ellie loves reader and she’s more than happy that Joel found his special someone. Could you add a scene where reader is with Ellie one afternoon and they see Joel with a woman, acting really intimate, which connects to reader’s thoughts about Joel being a bit weird the previous days. She thinks he’s cheating on her, also because the woman is really close and intimate to Joel in that situation.

She wants to leave before he sees her but Joel notices her presence, tries to talk to her but doesn’t deny the accusations at first, (so a lot of angst!!!) which makes reader think she lost the love of her life.

They don’t talk for a few days and try to ignore each other when possible, despite living together. Ellie is sad and suffers from this situation. Joel loves reader too much to ruin things so he puts his pride aside and tries talking to her. They eventually talk it through, he was not cheating (choose whatever the alternative to that is!!) maybe a little fluff at the end or also something else? You choose!

also, if you have any rules or have triggers about something that I requested please let me know and change the story how you need to.

And I’m extremely sorry if this request is too long and detailed.

thank you!!!

Guiding Lights - a Joel Miller one shot.

Characters - Joel Miller x Reader

Word Count - 8.7K

Warnings/Tags - 18+ only Minors dni. Typical canon language, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, Alcohol consumption, , Sus!Joel, Soft!Joel, insecurities, suspected cheating, no actual cheating, I think thats all?

A/N - @addictedtotlou This is my first ever fic request and I cannot thank you enough for sending it through, and also for dropping into my inbox to let me know it was you that requested it! I'm sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy <3

Feedback, Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!

You often find yourself reminiscing on the day you met Joel and Ellie, it feels like forever ago now, though it has only really been a few years.

The winters in Wyoming were never kind, but that year, Mother Nature had been particularly cruel. Strong winds and vicious snow blizzards reduced visibility to almost nothing. You had heard those posted to the lookout stations talking over lunches and complaining about how bad the conditions were getting.

So in a bid to keep the good folks of Jackson safe, Tommy and Maria decided to double the number of patrols around the commune in an attempt to keep an eye on the horizon for any potential threats who could be hiding just beyond their sights.

Needless to say, it had been a rather slow work day in the Tipsy Bison, with the usual counting and re-counting of stock, checking on the latest brew of beers and whisky, ensuring everything was going as planned, and cleaning of the already immaculate bar, all finished in record time.

Expecting the usual after-work rush that never came, you sent the other two bar staff over to the mess hall to see if the kitchen needed any help with preparations for tomorrow's meals.

As the two said their goodbyes over their shoulders, you heard one of them mumble a shocked "What the hell?"

With your interest piqued, you stepped out from behind the old wooden bar and crossed the floor to the large square windows at the front of the building. Your eyes followed their gaze and watched as the afternoon patrol crew filed through the large wooden and steel-clad gates of the commune.

You waved as a few of your regulars passed you, a few tipping the brims of their ten-gallon hats. You quickly realised what had drawn your colleagues' attention when your eyes landed on two new faces in the middle of the crew.

The first newcomer was a man; he wore a thick brown winter coat and jeans that looked like they could stand up on their own, and you could see the toe of his work boot was mended with what looked to be duck tape. His eyes were sharp and focused, darting around him as if in search of someone or something.

Instantly, he gave you the impression of someone who had been on the road for quite some time. Having been there yourself, you felt a surge of sympathy for him, but you were still wary of him, not knowing why he had been brought inside the walls.

The second was a girl, whom you assumed to be the man's daughter; she was small and looked to be in her early teens. Strands of her tawny brown hair peek out from under her winter hat. big, bright eyes, taking in her surroundings in wonder, while the man stared straight ahead. The girl seemed to be unaware that all eyes were on her, from those who stood on the street to others standing in shop windows, just as you were.

You followed the other barstaff out to the porch and offered the girl a small smile as your eyes met, she quickly looked away without returning it. It wasn't often that Jackson took in new people, opting to keep off the radar to try and protect what you had here. Maria was on this afternoon's patrol and had no doubt made the call to bring the two into the commune.

As the crew passed, heading further into the small town, you saw the man's head snap to the left, and he opened his mouth.

"Tommy!" he shouted, his deep, booming voice ringing in the silence. In an instant, he was off his horse and running in the direction of the scaffolding that had been put up to repair some of the damage to a neighbouring building.

You watched on in stunned silence as the two men ran towards each other, unsure of what the newcomers intentions were, but before you had made it down the two steps of the porch, the man wrapped his arms around Tommy and began laughing, disbelief colouring the sound.

The two men stood embracing each other, both breathless from laughter, and you knew immediately who the newcomer was. This was Joel, Tommy's brother.

Tommy had spoken of him before; usually after one too many whiskies at the bar, he would open up to you about how guilty he felt about staying off the radio. He would say things like, "It's only a matter of time before he comes looking for me, Y/N; what am I supposed to do? Turn him away?" and "One thing about my big bother is that he's persistent."

You had always offered words of understanding and comfort and almost always cut him off and sent him home after those conversations, knowing that no good could come from him drinking any more alcohol.

Part of being the town's main bar tender was also being a listening ear whenever someone needed it, but with Tommy, it was different. He and Maria had become your closest friends, and you would always be there when either of them needed you, working or not.

You always got the sense that something had happened between the two men that couldn't be fixed. As you watched the brothers reunite, you realised that the thought couldn't be further from the truth.

Maria caught your eye as she dismounted from her horse and jerked her head to the side, beseeching you to join her. You nodded at her and crossed the road to where she was standing, hitching her horse to one of the many posts dotted around town.

"Maria, is that who I think it is?" You asked her quietly, not wanting to draw attention to the conversation.

"Yeah, it is," she spat. "I don't know how the hell he found us out here." She continued, venom dripping from each word.

You knew that Maria had never actually met Joel, but from the stories Tommy had told you both in the early years, she knew what he was capable of and decided then and there that she did not like him. You, on the other hand, had a more objective outlook on things.

You were not involved in the same way Maria was, of course; she and Tommy were married after all, so you could understand her reservations when he opened up about his past with his brother and the things they had done and what they thought they needed to do to survive.

The problem was, Maria had been in Jackson longer than you and Tommy and therefore had less of an idea what a brutal hellscape it was outside the walls. Maria wasn't stupid; she knew that it was dangerous, but it had been so long since she had to live like that, to really be surviving, not trusting anyone you met along the way, not knowing where your next meal was coming from, or if you were going to make it to worry about the next meal.

You, on the other hand, had lived that life for longer than you would like to remember, and though you didn't have innocent blood on your hands, they were far from clean. So you could sympathise with Tommy and the demons that clearly kept him up at night. So you felt the hatred that Maria has for Joel was a little unfounded.

"I'm happy he found him again," you admitted, unable to help the undercurrent meant by your works. What you really wanted to say was "This should have happened a long time ago if you had let him respond to Joel's calls on the radio" Meeting her narrowed eyes, you saw a flash of anger in them. No doubt you will get an earful for that comment later.

You knew what she was going to say: that Joel wasn't going to fit in here in Jackson, that Tommy was better off without him, and that you should keep a safe distance from him. But she didn't have the opportunity, as Tommy was already walking towards the two of you.

Joel had walked back to where the girl waited on her horse; a worried, almost disappointed expression crossed her face as he gestured towards Tommy. You watched as he gently helped her down from the animal, making sure she was steady on her feet before the pair followed behind Tommy.

"Y/N, Maria, ah… this is my big brother, Joel," Tommy announced, his tone a mixture of pride and nervousness.

"Hey, it's good to finally meet you; I've heard a lot about you." You smiled kindly at him; he nodded once in response, his expression guarded.

"I'm Ellie! It's nice to meet you," the girl chirps cheerily before shoving her elbow into Joel's ribs. "Joel, say hello," she all but hissed at him, which makes you chuckle.

"It's lovely to meet you, Ellie." You beam.

"It's, uh, good to meet you," he managed quietly.

Two years later...

A loud knock at your front door startles you. Your hand flies to your heart as you curse under your breath. Who the hell would be calling on you at this hour of the morning?

You pad down the hallway and open the door to find Joel standing there, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. He seemed keyed up, and your heart drops to your stomach; something must have happened.

"Hey, is everything okay? Did something happen? Is Ellie alright?" You squeaked at him, the panic rising in your chest causing your voice to go up an octave.

"Yes, darlin, everything's fine, Ellie's good; don't worry; I just need to talk to you about something, that's all," he assured you in his thick Texas drawl.

"Everything's good… but you need to talk to me about something at 6 a.m." You questioned him dubiously, arching an eyebrow at him.

"I promise everything is fine; I have morning patrol and was hoping I could catch you before I head out," Joel explains, the ghost of a smile playing on his plump lips.

"Ah, okay, that makes sense, sorry; c'mon, handsome." You laugh as you open the door for him to enter and close it after him.

He follows you down the hall into the small kitchen, lingering in the doorway and studying you. You can feel his eyes roaming your figure as you pour him a cup of coffee. Strong, black, no sugar—just the way he likes it.

Turning with the mug in your hand, you let out a breathy laugh at the sight of him. He looked wired, far too awake for this hour of the morning. Was he sweating?

"Joel, baby, are you alright?" You ask curiously as you hand him his coffee and take your usual seat at the end of the dining table.

"Yeah, I just…I wanna ask you something but I don't know how" he confessed sheepishly, his large hand coming to scratch nervously at the back of his neck.

"I'd like to think you know me well enough by now to know you can ask me anything." You said it with a smile, hoping to calm whatever was causing his nerves.

"Yeah, no, I know, I just don't want to freak you out; there's no pressure, and I understa-"

"Just spit it out, Joel." You interrupt him. In the two years you had been with Joel, you had never seen him struggle for words with you, and it was making you anxious.

"Okay," he huffs out, pulling the dining room chair out so he could sit facing you. He takes a long drink of coffee before continuing, and the suspense is killing you.

"So I was speaking to Ellie, and you know we both love you; hell, sometimes I think she likes you more than she likes me!" He chuckles fondly: "Look, we've been seeing each other for a while, and now that everyone knows, I think it would be good, you know, f-for Ellie if she had a…I dunno, like a mother figure on a more permanent basis." The words were falling out of his mouth like an avalanche. He desperately hoped he was making sense, but you still weren't understanding.

"Permenant basis? What do you mean?" You ask, confusion clear on your face, making him laugh again.

"Yeah, like on an everyday basis," he enphasises. Urging you to grasp the meaning of his words.

"Okay, um, I mean, yeah, I think that's a great idea. I love that kid. I will tell her about making an effort to hang out every day." You promise him sincerely and are touched that he thinks of you as a mother figure to his daughter.

"That's not really what I was thinking, baby; I mean, on a permanent basis, like you would live in the same house." He husks softly, his eyes searching your face for your reaction, and his heart sinks to his boots as he watches your brows knit together.

"Did you have another fight?" You ask him, reaching your hand up to stroke the side of his face, your thumb lingering on the heart-shaped patch of his beard where the hair refused to grow. "Ellie's always more than welcome to stay here when she likes, but Joel, I don't think her moving in here is the answer."

He takes your hand from his face and holds it between both of his; he huffs all the air from his lungs and slowly takes another deep breath. Straightening in his chair, he locks eyes with you.

"I knew this would be an easy ask, but I didn't imagine you making it this hard on me," he says exasperatedly, huffing out another loud laugh.

"I don't understand." Confusion layers your tone, and you are sure your face is doing the same.

"I'm not asking if Ellie can move in with you; I'm asking if… if you would like to move in with us Y/N" He admits. His brown eyes are soft and lingering on your face, and his thumb is tracing small circles on your wrist.

This was not the conversation you were expecting to have over your morning coffee; your brain was barely functioning, and your mind started to race. The last two years of your life, with Joel and Ellie passing by before you in a blur of colours and memories.

You had sympathised with Joel's struggles to adjust to life in Jackson, and given that you worked in the only bar in town, he quickly became a familiar face. You ignored Maria's warnings to stay away from him; after all, she didn't know him from Adam, and you felt it was unfair to judge someone on the things they had done as the world fell apart overnight.

So, slowly but surely, you found yourself at work, hoping each night that he would stop in so you could get to know him better, and he always did. Always opting to sit at the bar, despite there being plenty of more comfortable booths to sit at.

At first, it was always you who initiated the conversation, asking him how his day was, how the patrol had gone, and how Ellie was fitting in, and you listened tentatively to what little information he would give you. Until eventually, after a couple of months of the same routine, he started to open up to you.

He would ask you how you were, how your shift had been, if you had a good day off, and on occasion he would let slip that he "missed you yesterday" when he called in for a drink on his way home from patrol, only to be disappointed that you were nowhere to be found.

It made you giddy; he was on your mind constantly; it made you feel like there was a swarm of butterflies in your belly, but you thought it was only harmless flirting as there was a considerable age gap between you both, with Joel being in his fifties and you in your early thirties, you didn't think Joel would be interested in a relationship with you.

But how wrong you were! After a couple of weeks of late-night drinks after the bar had officially closed, Joel had bitten the bullet and asked you out, though he asked if you wouldn't mind keeping it between the two of you as he didn't know how Ellie would react to him seeing someone and you gladly accepted.

You understood that Ellie was and always would be his first priority, and you admired his unwavering dedication to her, especially after finding out that Ellie wasn't his blood relative; he had taken her on as "cargo," as he affectionately put it. As a way to get one step closer to finding his brother, but she had worked her way under his skin, much like she did with everyone she met. It was so difficult not to like her. With her quick wit and foul mouth, she never failed to make you laugh. She was definitely his daughter, blood or no blood.

The thought of Ellie brings your mind back to the question at hand: should you move in with them? Was now the right time? Was Ellie even okay about this? Did she even know Joel had asked you? Each question raced through your mind until your mouth found one it could form words around.

"What does Ellie think of this?" You asked Joel intently, reading his face for any signs of worry or panic at your question, but there were none to be found.

"I mentioned to Ellie a few months ago that I thought it would be nice if you were around all the time, and she agreed, and then I sat her down yesterday and told her that I was thinking of asking you today, and she was all for it. I don't want you to feel pressured in any way, though; it's okay if it's too soon; you can say no, and we won't be offended in the slightest!" Joel assures you, his voice is low and genuine.

He lifts his right hand to the side of your face and gently brushes the hair out of your eyes, his calloused thumb stroking back and forth as you lean into his touch, allowing your eyes to fall closed. Taking a deep breath, you throw caution to the wind.

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath, your voice drops to a whisper. "Yes, I'll move in."

Suddenly your body was moving, and not by its own volition; your eyes were still closed, so your brain was having trouble registering what was happening. When your eyes flashed open in surprise, you were caught up in Joel's arms, spinning around your small kitchen with your feet no longer planted on the floor.

"Joel!" You squeal through breathy laughter, placing your hands on his broad shoulders to steady yourself.

"Are you sure, baby?" He asks, his eyes sparkling with delight.

"Yes, I'm sure handsome, but I have one condition!" You warn him, arching a fluffy brow.

"Name your price, sweetheart," he smirks at you through the whiskers of his full moustache.

"I get to tell Ellie," You beam back at him, your hand rests on the back of his neck, fingers scractching lightly at the curls that have formed there.

"I think she'd like that," he ghosts against your lips, lightly brushing his nose against your own until you lean up and crush your mouth to his.

Three years later...

It has been a hectic few weeks for the community in Jackson, working through yet another savage winter. You were just through the middle of it, and the end was in sight. The snow storms were not as frequent and the winds were not as wild.

Work has been keeping you busy. You are still the main bartender at the Tipsy Bison, but much to Joel's dismay, you have also picked up a few patrol shifts to lend a hand to Tommy as a few of the older patrol crew stepped back into other work duties due to ill health.

It has felt like months since you and Joel have spent any quality time together, despite living in the same house and working in the same community. Whenever you were both home, he seemed distant and preoccupied, as if there was somewhere else he wanted to be. You tried to engage him in conversation, but he would only give you short answers before retreating into his own thoughts.

At first, you thought that he might just be stressed out from work duty or the weather, as bad as it has been, but as the days turned into weeks, you started to feel a growing sense of unease. You have never seen Joel act this way before, not with you at least, and you don't know what to do.

You miss his closeness; the late-night conversations at the bar while you finished up your shift—all of that has stopped, and no matter how many hours you spent trying to figure out why, you always came up blank.

So needless to say, you were looking forward to spending some quality time with Ellie this evening to help take your mind off your worries. You had stood under the shower for longer than you intended, just enjoying how the steaming water rolled down your tense frame.

With a sigh, you shut off the water and wrapped yourself in your towel, headed into your bedroom to get dressed, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude that the house had heating, an especially rare commodity with the world's current condition. Jackson really was a paradise of sorts.

"Ellie! C'mon kiddo, we're going to be late for the movie!," You shout from the bottom of the stairs, shrugging into your winter jacket.

Movie night Fridays have quickly become a tradition for you and Ellie, especially now that the winter has rolled back around and it's too cold to spend much time outdoors.

"Alright, I'm coming; Jesus, keep your hair on!" Ellie mutters as she makes her way down the stairs, where you wait for her.

"We only have 20 minutes before the film starts, and I know you're going to want to get snacks, so we've got to make tracks." You laugh as she rolls her eyes at you.

"Alright Mom," she mocks, sarcasm dripping from each word.

"You're such a little shit, you know that, right?" You tell her fondly with a warm smile.

"I know, it's all part of my charm," she grins.

"Ah, I see, and does Dina know all about your charm?" You playfully jab her ribs with your elbow, wagging your brows up and down.

"Ugh, you're so annoying; you know that, right?" Ellie counters, always so quick-witted.

"I know, it's all part of my charm," You repeat her words back to her, earning another eye roll.

The two of you leave the house and trudge out into the snow; thankfully, the blizzard has calmed, and now fat, fluffy flakes of snow flurry around you like something from a movie scene.

As brutal as they can be, you have never seen anything more beautiful than Jackson in the winter. It was like something you would see on a postcard of a ski village in the French Alps, all timber buildings and string lights illuminating the small town.

On Friday nights, the mess hall was turned into a makeshift movie theatre for the youth that lived in the commune, offering them some respite from the grind of daily life. It was complete with candy, drinks, and, of course, pop corn.

At first, Ellie hadn't seemed all that interested in going, not knowing many kids her age, but after a lot of coaxing and the promise that if she didn't like it, she didn't have to go again or even stay for the full movie, Though she quickly found her feet with Dina, the rest was really history.

"Where's Joel tonight? I thought he was going to come with us." Ellie asked curiously.

"Oh shit, I meant to tell you earlier; he said Tommy asked him to cover the evening patrol tonight, so he can't make it." You explained, not really sure why Tommy needed him to cover after already doing the afternoon patrol, but it must have been important, so you didn't give it a second thought.

You and Ellie walk in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the peaceful walk through town. You were about to ask her how she was getting on with her work detail when she came to a standstill.

"I thought you said Joel was on patrol tonight?" she demanded, her face contorting in confusion.

"Uh yeah, Ellie, I just told you that." You confirm, your own confusion mirroring hers.

"Then what the fuck is he doing in the bar?" She fumes, gesturing behind you to the window of the Tipsy Bison.

Sure enough, there he sits at the bar with Jenna. Joel was nursing a whisky, and she was playfully peeling back the homemade label of her beer bottle. They are sitting in the corner booth by the window, leaning towards each other to the point where their heads are far too close to be appropriate.

In that moment, your breathing stopped. Your stomach sank to the floor, and an overwhelming sense of panic and dread began to claw viciously from your chest up your throat, resting heavy on your tongue.

"Are you okay?" Ellie asks nervously, not really sure what to do or say in this situation. It could be nothing, but even to her, it definitely looked like something.

"Y-yeah, I'm good. Ellie, why don't you go on down to the mess hall, and I'll meet you there in a few?" You tell her more than ask, your eyes never leaving the window.

"No way fuck that I'm staying with you!" she demands, her eyes growing wet around her long lashes.

"No, Ellie, I need to talk to Joel; I will catch up with you in a few, okay?" You meet her eyes and nod in the direction of the mess hall. She only nods in response; your tone is final as she turns on her heel and storms towards the makeshift movie theatre.

What the fuck is happening right now? You trusted Joel; it never bothered you when the ladies in Jackson would bat their eyes at him or when their glances lingered a little too long. You took it as a compliment; hell, if you were them, you would stare too.

Your relationship was built on a foundation of honesty and trust from the very beginning. You have told him things you have never shared with another living soul, and he has done the same with you. Never in your life did you think you would be lucky enough to share a connection with someone the way you have with Joel, let alone after the world had ended.

And now here you stand in the middle of town, watching the man you love cosy up with another woman in plain sight, not even having the decency to try and hide it from you.

You stand there for another few minutes, watching how he leans across the table to talk to her, laughing and caressing his arm in response. It sets fire to your blood, and you can feel it moving like molten lava in your veins.

You're moving before you realise you have made the decision to do so, your feet carrying you furiously forward, up to the short creaking steps and through the entrance to the bar, and then there you are, looming over their table. Your eyes bore holes into his skull. He jumps in his seat and scrambles frantically to hide the notebook that was sitting open on the table between them. You didn't pay it a second glance.

"I didn't realise the bar needed patrolling this evening," you state pointedly at him, ignoring Jenna, who is doing everything she can to avoid eye contact with you, fidgeting in her seat, and clambering to get her things together. Grabbing her coat and scarf from beside her.

"Hey darlin, I thought you and Ellie were heading to the movies." He asks, his voice rough with his attempts to hide his nerves.

"We were on our way there when she saw this cosy scene from the street." You gesture with your hand towards the table, your voice icy as you let your hand drop to your side with an audible slap, which made Jenna flinch.

"I think I'm going to head out…" Jenna murmurs in a small, quiet voice, still avoiding your gaze.

"That is a wise decision" You agreed without taking your eyes of Joel.

She throws Joel a cryptic glance before clambering out of her seat and quickly making her way to the door, shooting Joel an apologetic glance over her shoulder, which only fuels the rage bubbling up in your throat.

"What the fuck?" You growl at him, doing your best to keep your voice under control. The last thing you wanted was to cause a scene. Especially not at your workplace, regardless of whether you were on shift or not.

"What's wrong with you?" he asks, genuinely confused by your anger.

"Please tell me you're joking," you seethe.

"What? I can't have a drink with a friend." He scoffs, incredulous.

"Seriously Joel? Since when have you had to lie about working to have a drink with a friend?"

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?" he countered, avoiding the question.

"No, I really don't think I am. How could you do this? How could you do this in front of Ellie?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Joel huffs back at you, his eyes never leaving yours.

Your eyes begin to prick with anger fuelled tears; the feeling of betrayal rips through you, leaving you exposed to his hard gaze. You can't take any more of this. It feels like the room is closing in around you. That you will suffocate if you don't leave right now. You look at him once more, and the fact that he hasn't denied it or assured you that this is anything other than what you fear it to be ,allows your world to crumble around you.

"Alright," you manage in a broken whisper that comes out as a choked sob.

With that, you turn and bolt for the door, desperately gasping for air but unable to get enough to fill your lungs. You have to brace yourself on the railing of the porch. You can feel his eyes on you as he watches you leave from where he sits frozen at the table, but he makes no move to follow after you.

Willing your legs to move, you push off the railing and slowly make your way to the mess hall, slipping in just as the movie is starting. You can see Ellie is sitting in the middle of the crowded room, and she has saved you a seat beside her.

You make your way to the restroom, taking in your reflection for the first time that evening. Your face is red and splotchy from crying, your eyes puffy, and your lips swollen from your teeth worrying at them. With shaking hands, you reach out to turn the tap on, splashing the icy cold water over your face as you try to make sense of what has just unfolded.

You knew Jenna; she is one of the few people trained in blacksmithing in Jackson, but you had never been especially close with her. She would frequent the bar and chat with you about her work day and vice versa, but that was the extent of your relationship with her, and you have never seen Joel interact with her. It just didn't make sense; why would he throw everything away for a fling with someone who lives in the same commune? Did he really think you wouldn't find out?

You do your best to shake the thoughts from your head, focused on spending the rest of the evening with Ellie, you will do everything in your power to shelter her from this. So with a deep breath, you put a smile on your face and left the restroom, smiling and waving politely at familiar faces as you made your way to your seat, stopping by the makeshift concession stand to grab Ellie some popcorn and a soda on your way.

"Hey, I've got you some snacks, kiddo." You whisper to her, not wanting to interrupt the film.

"Thanks, are you okay?" She murmered with a small smile. Taking the snacks from your outstretched hands.

"Yes, of course everything's fine; there was a mix-up with the patrols, so Joel didn't have to work tonight after all." You reassured her softly.

It cut you to the bone to have to lie to her to cover up his indiscretion because you didn't want her to think any less of him. He is her world, and she is his, and you wouldn't be the one to jeopardise that.

You weren't really sure what movie was even playing tonight, so lost in your thoughts that it was just a blurry hum in the background. Ellie had to nudge your shoulder several times to tell you that the movie had was over. Glancing around to find a steady stream of people filing out of the mess hall.

"Sorry, Ellie, I'm just a bit distracted tonight; work has been so hectic recently, and I have so much to do when I open tomorrow." You do your best to laugh it off. Hoping that she will let it go and that she wasn't being as observant tonight as she usually is. The girl misses nothing.

"It's okay, the film was a repeat anyway," she shrugs, not pressing you on the matter, though you know all too well that the questions will come eventually.

"Shall we head home? It sounds like it's getting pretty rough out there," you noted, as another howl of wind wipped around the wooden building.

"Sounds good; I want to have a shower before Joel uses all the hot water again," she ribs in a peel of bright laughter that sends warmth radiating through your now hollow chest.

When you reach the house, you find it in darkness. Joel hasn't made it home yet, and although you are beyond angry, you can't help but worry about him. Of course he can look after himself, but it isn't like him to be out this late if he wasn't on patrol.

The seething voice in the back of your head reminds you that he could be with her. You try to push those thoughts out of your head, but they linger like a dark cloud, casting a grim shadow over what was your perfect - or as perfect as it could be - life.

"I'm going for a shower and then head to bed, you okay?" Ellie asks, once again pulling you from your thoughts.

"Yeah, of course, kiddo, no worries. Do you need anything? You want some tea?" You offer as you head to the stove and place a pot of water on to boil.

"No, I'm good. Thanks though, g'night!" She calls over her shoulder, and then you are alone in the small kitchen.

"Night kiddo," You call quietly to her as you reach for the herbal tea blend that you and Ellie grew in your little garden last summer.

As you wait for the water to boil, your mind starts to race with worry and anxiety. You can't help but think of all the possible scenarios that could be keeping Joel out this late, and the thought of him being with another woman makes you want to break things. You have tried to push those thoughts out of your head so many times this evening, but they keep creeping back.

A few hours later, you are sitting in one of the armchairs in the living room, desperately fighting to keep your eyes open, but in the end you give up, gently placing your book on the coffee table and removing the blanket from your lap. You look at the clock on the wall, and it's just after 3am.

You pad into the kitchen and leave your mug in the sink, too tired to wash it now; that's tomorrow's problem. Heading up the creaky stairs to your bedroom and crawling into the cold sheets. It feels wrong going to bed without Joel by your side, but he is god knows where right now, so you lean over, turn the bedside lamp off, and sink into a restless, uneasy sleep.

You wake to the wintery morning sunshine seeping through your bedroom window. Instinctively, you run your hand across Joel's side of the bed; it's unmade but cold, so he did come home last night, but he was up before you, which is unusual.

Instinctively, you run your hand across Joel's side of the bed; it's unmade but cold, so he did come home last night, but he was up before you, which is unusual.

Slowly sitting up in bed, you stretch your tired bones, sore from your restless few hours of sleep, and swing your legs out of bed. It's only 7 a.m.; you don't usually open the bar until midday, so you have plenty of time to get ready.

You slink down the stairs, careful not to wake Ellie as you do so. Heading into the kitchen mid-yawn, you stop in your tracks as you find Joel standing at the stove, hovering over a pot of boiling water on the closest ring to him.

"Mornin'," he husks without turning; he must have heard you yawning with his good ear to the doorway.

You ignore him, knowing full well that it's petty and childish and ultimately will not resolve anything, but with the way he behaved last night, you feel the cold shoulder is justified.

You both continue with your morning rituals in silence. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but you didn't know where to begin broaching the subject, and the more you stewed over it, the more you felt he should be the one to open the conversation with an explanation, but if you were being totally honest with yourself, you were beginning to worry that you may have jumped to conclusions.

But when you thought about the way they were huddled together, her hand on his arm, and the way she tipped her head back in laughter at each thing he said, the pit in your stomach grew. As did the silence between you.

Things went on like this for days, with the two of you skirting around each other and avoiding eye contact. Only speaking to each other when absolutely necessary, like dinner times, and giving each other your work duties for the week.

You could see the effect this was having on Ellie; she has been especially quiet the last few days, so once Joel leaves for work, you sit with her on the couch and try to get her to open up.

"Ellie, is everything okay?" you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

"I don't know. You and Joel have been acting weird lately, and it's making me tense." She shrugs, not meeting your gaze.

You take a deep breath, knowing that you can't keep avoiding the issue. "Yeah, we've been having some problems. But it's nothing you need to worry about, kiddo."

"It doesn't seem like nothing," she retorts. "You guys haven't spoken in days. It's not like you."

"I know, Ellie. I just don't know how to fix it." You sigh.

"Maybe you could start by talking to him," she suggests.

"It's not that simple, Ellie. There's a lot going on." You shake your head.

"Well, maybe it would help if you talked to me about it," she offers.

"Thanks, Ellie. But it's not something I can really discuss with you. Just know that Joel and I are working through some things and we'll get through it." You smile softly at her, grateful for her kindness.

She nods, not looking convinced but not pressing the issue. You sit in silence for a moment before she stands up. "I'm gonna head out for a bit. Need to clear my head."

"Okay, kiddo. Be safe," you say, watching her leave.

You're left alone in the quiet house, the weight of your problems still heavy on your shoulders. You know Ellie is right; you need to talk to Joel. But the thought of confronting him is daunting, and you don't know if you want to hear what he has to say.

What if he doesn't want you anymore? What if he's not happy and hasn't been for a while?

You decide that enough is enough. After work this evening, you are going to speak to him and attempt to clear the air, hear his side of the story, and try to move forward, if not for the sake of your relationship but for Ellie. It's not fair to have this weighing on her shoulders; it's not her fault, and you hate seeing her unhappy, and you know that Joel will feel the same about his if nothing else.

The workday drags on uneventfully; the only thing standing out was that Jenna had come to the bar for the first time since that evening. She gave you a small smile, and you returned it with a polite nod. You were at work after all and took it upon yourself to remain as professional as possible.

Jenna approaches the bar and orders her usual, which you pour for her without issue, though it makes your skin itchy to be this close to her.

"Have you spoken to Joel yet?" she asks quietly. Wiping her fingertips across the bartop.

You stare at her blankly; the audacity of this woman boggles your mind.

"No," you respond curtly.

"Okay, well, when you do, come and find me. We'll have a lot to discuss." She states matter-of-factly, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips.

Before you have the chance to give her a piece of your mind, she is walking away from the bar, her long auburn hair swishing to her lower back. What the fuck is her problem?

You try to get through the rest of your day without dwelling on the conversation you had with Jenna, focusing more on the impending conversation you are going to have with Joel this evening. Thinking about what you were going to say to him, how you were going to explain how you felt, and how hurt you have been over the last few days.

You lock up the bar and head towards home for the evening, taking a little more time than you usually would, feet dragging, dreading the fight that would likely ensue once you had spoken to him. You tell yourself you will keep a level head, but you know deep down your temper would not allow that to happen if he gave you some bullshit excuse.

As you approach the small, snow-covered pathway that leads to the back porch of your home, you pause there, unable to bring yourself to go inside. So you take a seat on the second step and watch the flurries of fluffy snow as they make their way through the air to join the pillowy blanket that covers everything in sight.

You sit there for what feels like hours. Jackson was always quiet; it needed to be in order to keep what you have here safe, but as you sit in the darkness, the only light coming from the dim porch light and the light seeping through the thin linen curtains from the living room, it feels eerily silent and still. The sound of the backdoor creaking open made you jump. The heavy footsteps that followed, however, were all too familiar.

"You gonna stay out here all night?" He asked quietly, his voice low and soft.

"No, I was just… well, I don't really know what I was doing." You offer a small laugh, void of any humour.

Joel takes a few steps and groans loudly as he lowers himself to join you where you sit. He is quiet for a few moments until he finally speaks.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the other night and how it must have looked. I'm sorry for not explaining to you then and there what it was; I didn't want to tell you, and I still don't really. But I promise you on my life that it is not what you think it is, Darlin," he says softly, regret heavy in his tone.

"I don't understand Joel; I just want to understand what the fuck has been going on," you pleaded, hating how desperate your voice sounded.

"I know, baby, and I'm going to tell you. I just didn't want to ruin the surprise. I also didn't want to tell you without speaking to Ellie first, but I spoke to her at dinner, and now she understands." He assures you, his hand coming up to brush your cold cheek for the first time in days, and it was impossible not to lean into the heat of his palm.

"Okay, so now everyone knows but me, why were you all cozied up with Jenna? Why did you lie to me about going to work?" You challenged him, removing your face from his touch.

"Hold on," he huffs, shifting his weight to one hip as he fishes for something in his back pocket before continuing. "It will make more sense once you see this, or I hope it will at least," he offers as he hands you a beaten-up, leather-bound note book.

"What is this?" You ask him, you remember seeing it on the table in the bar the other night.

"Would you just open it?" he sighs, rubbing his hand through his patchy whiskers nervously.

You do as he says and open the notebook, and what you find takes you aback. The notebook is filled almost front to back with little sketches of rings and little notes about different metals and gems in his familar handwriting and another that you don't recognize.

"Wh-what is this?" You repeat, stunned. So many thoughts racing through your mind and you are beggining to realise that you have completely misread the situaiton the other night.

"I know I was going to have to tell you about it eventually, you know for your size and all but I was planning to do that after I asked you…but then with the other night I wasn't sure what to say and I was kind of pissed off that you where angry at me, I didn't stop to think that you weren't in on the secret and what it must have looked like to you," Joel's hand came to rest on your knee squeezing reassuringly as he explained the circumstances that lead to what you saw in the bar.

"I have been meeting up with Jenna over the last few weeks, she's the only blacksmith in Jackson that used to make jewelry…specifically engagement rings," he paused allowing his words to sink in before finishing his explination.

"We've been trying to figure out how to make you one, what metals mix well from what I have found on supply runs, whether to hold off if I could find a stone or a gem, or if we could make it without one,"

You stare at him, a mix of astonishment and disbelief washing over you. The pieces start to fall into place, and you realize the truth behind Joel's actions. The anger and hurt that had consumed you begin to melt away, replaced by a flood of emotions, the most promanent being embarrassment.

"You were planning to… ask me?" you stutter, your voice barely a whisper. The weight of your accusation hangs heavy in the air as you struggle to comprehend the situation.

"Yeah, I was. I've been saving up for months, looking for the right opportunity, and I wanted it to be a surprise. Jenna's been helping me because she's skilled at crafting intricate pieces. I wanted to make something special for you, something that would last a lifetime." Joel nods, his eyes filled with sincerity.

Tears well up in your eyes as the realization of your mistake dawns upon you. You reach for Joel's hand, intertwining your fingers with his. "Oh, Joel, I'm so sorry," you say, your voice trembling. "I jumped to conclusions without knowing the whole story. I never thought…I feel like such a peice of shit, I'm so sorry"

"It's okay, darlin'. I should've communicated better, explained everything to you beforehand. I understand why you were upset." He squeezes your hand gently, his thumb caressing your knuckles.

"But why did you lie about going to work?" you inquire, still wanting to grasp every detail.

"We thought it would be best if we kept it a secret until it was ready. And I didn't want you to suspect anything. I wanted the proposal to be a surprise, and I was afraid if I told you I was hanging out with Jenna, you'd figure it out before I had the chance." He shrugged.

"Joel, I can't believe you're doing this. You've put so much thought and effort into making something special for us. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. I have been so awful to you over the last few days," You let out a shaky breath, your heart filled with a strange mix of relief, shame and joy.

A soft smile graces Joel's lips as he brushes a strand of hair from your face. "Don't say that, sweetheart. You deserve the world, and I want to give it to you. I love you more than anything, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Tears stream down your face now, but they're tears of happiness. You lean in and rest your head on Joel's shoulder, feeling the warmth of his presence envelop you. The weight of the misunderstanding lifts, leaving behind a newfound sense of trust and appreciation.

"I love you too, Joel," you whisper, your voice filled with sincerity. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch and for overreacting. I should have known you'd never do anything to hurt me."

"Hey, we all make mistakes, darlin'. It wouldn't be the first time I've got pissed at you for something I misunderstood now is it?." he chuckles quietly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

"I guess no ones perfect," you echo his laughter leaning into him further.

As you sit together on the porch steps, surrounded by the beauty of the snowfall, you realize that the snow isn't the only thing that's melting. The icy barriers that had formed between you and Joel are slowly thawing away, leaving behind a comfortable quiet.

"So, now that the cats out of the bag, will you…?" he asks his deep voice thick with emotion.

"Will I what handsome?" You look up at him teasing, your eyes twinkling.

A playful grin tugs at the corners of Joel's mouth as he meets your gaze. "Will you marry me, my beautiful, stubborn, and occasionally misunderstood partner in crime?" he asks, his voice laced with a mixture of nervousness and hope.

Your heart skips a beat at his words, and a surge of excitement courses through you. You pretend to ponder his question, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "Well, I don't know, Joel. I mean, after all that's happened, can I really trust you with my heart?" you tease, a smile playing on your lips.

Joel feigns a look of hurt, placing a hand dramatically over his heart. "Oh, come on now. I've endured snowball fights, kitchen mishaps, you and Ellie ganging up on me and even your questionable taste in movies. If that's not true love, I don't know what is."

Laughter bubbles up from within you, and you lean in closer, pressing your forehead against his. "Joel, you are my love and my rock. Of course, I'll marry you," you say, your voice filled with so much love.

In that peaceful moment, wrapped in the calm of the snowfall and the safety of his strong arms, you realize that there will be silly arguments, misunderstandings and cold shoulders, but you will always find your way back to each other. You let out a sigh of contentment as Joel presses silent kisses against your head, happy to sit here forever wrapped up in him.

Knowing that Joel and Ellie will forever be your guiding lights.

#joel x reader #Joel miller x reader #joel x female reader #joel miller x female reader #joel x f!reader #joel miller #ellie wili #joel and ellie #joel x you #joel x y/n #Pedro pasca #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #tlou fic #fic request #mylostloversbookmarks

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 month

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Okay, everyone, let’s talk Taskmaster speculation. I hate how stuff about the lineup for the following season can overshadow a season before it ends, or sometimes, like in this case, before it starts. It was around this time last year that they announced the Taskmaster season 17 studio filming dates, which perfectly coincided with some live gigs John Robins had canceled, so we all took time to get excited about that s17 lineup spoiler before season 16 had ever begun to air. Now, season 18 hasn’t started yet but we’re already talking about 19.

Spoiler alert, obviously, for vague speculation. I have no inside information or anything, so if you click through, you won’t be party to anything that’s meant to be secret. Just guesses based on publicly available information, which I know some people like to avoid, to preserve the surprise.

First of all, I find this Reddit post from a few weeks ago interesting. That obviously can’t be the exact five person lineup. First of all, Scroobius Pip would be a possible NYT candidate, probably not close enough to comedy for the main show. Secondly, obviously, all-white lineup. Thirdly, there’s no overseas person on the list, and we know from Alex’s recent interview that the season will contain that.

So it won’t be all five, but it could be a few of those. Social media evidence has been surprisingly accurate before, I remember in season 12, people accurately predicted 4/5 names before the studio filming started, just based on who’d recently followed Alex and each other. This may of course be wishful thinking on my part, that such vague social media evidence means anything, because that list contains two people who are on the shortlist of my dream contestants. Josie Long and Chris Addison would both be wonderful on there, particularly if they somehow ended up on the same season as each other.

Josie Long really should be there. She was the only women on the original Edinburgh Taskmaster in 2010, where there were a lot of men. Look at all the men in this video:

youtube

The non-Josie Long contestants there were: Dan Atkinson, Jarred Christmas, James Dowdeswell, Tim Fitzhigham, Steve Hall, Tim Key, Lloyd Langford, Mark Watson, Henning Wehn, Joe Wilkinson, Mike Wozniak, and Tom Wrigglesworth. Josie Long spent a lot of years being the "only girl in the lineup" for lots of things, between when she started stand-up in 1997 and when they invented other female comedians in 2014 (I apologize to Jo Brand for that joke, who also spent years holding it down for women on panel shows before they let women on panel shows, no women were allowed to do that stuff in the 00s unless they were named Josephine). I think she should be compensated for that in the 2020s by being allowed to appear on pretty much anything she likes.

More significantly, she was also on the second of the Taskmaster live Edinburgh shows, in 2011. See if you can spot the odd one out in the contestants from The Taskmaster 2011: Bruce Dessau, Dan Atkinson, Henning Wehn, Joe Wilkinson, Josie Long, Lloyd Langford, Mark Watson, Steve Hall, Stuart Goldsmith and Tim Key. Yes, you are right, the odd one out is Bruce Dessau, for not being a comedian. Was he ever a comedian? It did not occur to me to wonder that until right now, did most comedy reviewers start out their careers as comedians, the way most sports commentators started out as athletes in that sport? I don't know. It's not important. But if he was ever a comedian, he sure wasn't one anymore by 2011, and it is notable that when recruiting comedians for his comedy show, Alex Horne brought in the same number of reviewers who don't perform comedy, as he did of women who do perform comedy.

Obviously the odd one out in the above list is actually Josie Long, as the only woman again. And I say this one is more significant because she made the finals, where she faced off against Stuart Goldsmith in a battle of who could fit the most grapes in their mouth, administered by 2010 champion Mike Wozniak:

and she won:

Mike Wozniak won the first live Taskmaster event, and he's been on the TV show. Josie Long, by rights as a live Edinburgh Taskmaster champion, should be. In addition to her being, you know, a very talented comedian and generally funny person who would be absolutely excellent on Taskmaster.

She has now done two full shows in the last five years, and is working on a third, about how she's very very busy these days, creating and then raising two children, and has moved to Glasgow so getting down for London-based comedy shows isn't so easy, so it's possible that she's been offered a spot on previous Taskmaster seasons and turned it down, which would be fair enough. But she should definitely qualify for an offer, for a number of reasons, some of which are real (I do sort of genuinely think that winning one of the original live Taskmaster events should earn someone the chance to be part of it when it becomes a lucrative television show, but obviously far more significant is that she's a very talented comedian and generally funny person who would be absolutely excellent on Taskmaster), and some of which are not (I was joking about the reparations for female comedians who were on panel shows before that 2014 rule, mostly, I mean it does feel like they should get something).

A friend of mine noticed that some gigs she did in London, back in June, had an odd hole in them that could be shaped like the filming of Taskmaster house tasks, for someone who lives in Glasgow and, if she had to go down to London to film a TV show, would want to make the most of the trip and plan some stand-up gigs around it. That, combined with the social media evidence presented on Reddit (and the fact that she surely has more right to a spot than anyone else who's not been on it yet), makes me think there's a reasonable chance of her being on season 19. I may be starting to believe this theory a bit too much, I need to pull back on that so I won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen. It's two pieces of evidence, but they're both fairly flimsy and circumstantial.

Chris Addison was also on that list of people who've moved into Alex Horne's social media orbit, and there is, of course, lots of precedent in his Tweets for making his feelings toward that show clear. First, a couple of Tweets that let us know he's not off in Glasgow doing his own thing; if he's not been on Taskmaster it's because he's not been given the offer:

And he's tried various Twitter tactics to get that offer, including showing off his knowledge of the show:

Flattery:

Selling his potential, and reverse psychology, combined into one Tweet:

And just implying that his casting is inevitable, like that'll manifest it into existence:

Chris Addison has been campaigning for ages to get a Taskmaster spot, and I think he'd make great TV if that happened. God, imagine a team with him and Josie Long together. How excellent would that be? Oh, and if he's on season 19, that's 2/3 of The Department covered in two seasons. Only one more member of that radio show they'd still need, if only Taskmaster would suddenly decide they're interested in casting someone who lives overseas, is a big name there, but maybe still has some connection to British comedy...

No, obviously I know the "overseas contestant" to whom Alex recently referred can't be John Oliver. They'll be filming the studio portions of season 19 during the peak of the American election campaign, John Oliver's a bit busy these days to fly to England and count eggs or whatever. If it was going to happen, it would have been last year during the writer's strike, when John had just done the Horne Section TV show and could surely have fit in an NYT filming. I'd love to get my hopes up, but not this time.

I am interested in the speculation about who the American will be, though. Obviously my first thought was of Paul F. Tompkins, as he's done the Taskmaster podcast twice, both times claiming to be a huge fan of the show, and backing up that claim by frequently beating Ed Gamble at knowing Taskmaster history. He said both times that he'd love to be on it, has even though about things like what his costume would be.

He was my first thought, and then I read that he's performing in the UK in September, so that seems like a pretty strong case for him. I thought I read at some point that he was doing the Comedy Bang Bang tour and then some other gigs with a possible Taskmaster-sized hole in between, and if that were true, it would be very clear evidence, either he's doing Taskmaster or he's pranking the public into thinking he is. But upon further research I don't think that's true, he'd doing the podcast tour and that's it. I still think he's a very likely candidate, just not as clear-cut as if he were doing one thing in Britain, and then another thing with a hole in the middle. If anyone else has also read that thing that I think I read somewhere that says he's doing that, and you know what that is, please let me know because I'd like to know if I've missed something and that's true after all.

My guess for the American contestant is still Paul F. Tompkins, and I think he'd be fun. Admittedly I only know him from Bojack Horseman and those two Taskmaster podcast episodes, but I generally assume anyone who was in Bojack Horseman is probably cool (partly because that show was a masterpiece, but it's not like Paul F. Tompkins wrote it, so I think that view mainly comes from a subconscious assumption I have that anyone who's ever met Kristen Schaal has to be all right), and he was very good on those Taskmaster podcast episodes.

Either way, I think this is a good time for me to jump on the Paul F. Tompkins bandwagon. I've had his stand-up on my list of stuff to get to for ages, and I think I'll watch/listen to that stuff now. If he's on Taskmaster, then great, I've jumped on a bandwagon at the right time and I'll go in knowing more about him. If he's not, I think I'll still have a good time with his comedy, as I keep hearing how great it is. There really is a lot I don't know about American comedy.

Besides Tompkins, from the vague evidence I've seen, I think Hank Green is an outside shot at the overseas Taskmaster contestant. I don't know what Dropout is and I hope Taskmaster doesn't force me to find out.

#Youtube

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smallpeniscollective · 1 year

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In the Woods

(Eddie Munson x Reader) (18+)

Summary: this was supposed to be from a longer fic that’s been brewing in the pot for a long while, but I got that worm in my brain that doesn’t let me finish things, and I haven’t posted in forever so you guys can have the porn scenes. if I ever finish it u can have the full fic as a treat <3

Word Count: 3.4k

Content: swearing, sexual content, protected sex, p in v sex, outdoors sex, slight edging

A/N: (this takes place at skull rock, also there are some things that reference the plot of the fic or moments within the full fic, ignore those <3)

Minors DNI please !!!

*~*~*

“So, did you do anything with your art, back in the city?” he asked, pondering if she was planning to be some snooty big-shot in an art gallery, or if she was aiming to be the next Van Gogh or Monet. He couldn’t help but picture the scene of her, scantily clad in nothing but an oversized button-up shirt, paint all over her but so focused on her work that she didn’t even care, the sun beaming through her studio space. God, she was so hot.

“Yeah, actually, I was training as a tattoo apprentice after school back in the city before I needed my, uh... little break,” she answered, flipping open her sketchbook to the first empty page she could find. She grabbed one of her sharpened number two pencils and placed the tip of it to the paper, beginning a doodle unrelated to their plans of DnD-related art.

“A tattoo artist, huh? I’ve actually got some tatties of my own,” he said, hoping that she’d ask to see them.

She waited a moment, the silence stilling the air between them. After a pause so long that he feared he had dismantled their conversational flow, she finally looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Well, are you gonna show me them?”

“Oh, r-right,” he stammered, immediately pulling himself from his spot against the boulder and shedding his layers of his denim vest and leather jacket, revealing tatted forearms. He stepped away from the boulder, closer to her, and held his arms out for her to see his sweet ol’ tatties.

She took one of his forearms in her hands, one hand holding his wrist and one hand propping his arm underneath, and he hoped that she didn’t notice the immediate goosebumps that raised on his skin. She did notice, but chose to say nothing, basking in the idea that she could set off his nerves like that. She slowly rotated his arm, studying the bats decorating his pale skin. “That’s so sick,” she said, looking all the way up at him from the forest floor.

In this moment, he realized she was face-level to his crotch, and sitting in front of it too. He tried not to picture her with her mouth on him, so that he wouldn’t pop a boner right in front of her face. Flustered and breathless, he airily chuckled, stepping back and saying, “Y-yeah, I really like that one.”

She gave him a look that asked, You okay? before asking aloud, “You got any others that you’re hiding from me?”

Remembering the one on his chest, he pulled down the collar of his shirt, revealing a hint of the one that rested below the right side of his collarbone. “This one, too.”

“I can’t see it from over there, dummy,” she giggled, climbing to her feet with a small grunt.

She approached him, eyes fixated on the hint of a tattoo. Taking the reins, she pulled his collar down further, brushing her fingers against his. His breath hitched as he felt her fingers against his hot skin, feeling like his heart was audibly pounding out of his chest. She seemed so calm and collected, using her other finger to softly trace over the inked skin on his chest, the contact making him suck in a breath through his teeth.

The tension in the air was thick like a fog, and she felt like every cell in her body was being drawn to him in a magnetic pull. She felt her own breathing speed up in their proximity, and she looked away from his chest tattoo and into his eyes to find he had been staring hard at her with blown pupils and flushed cheeks. She released the collar of his shirt, not moving her hand from its spot on his chest, not saying a word or breaking eye contact. The air around them felt electric, like lightning was about to strike them both down right here, right now.

She parted her lips to say something, anything, but no words came to mind. All she could focus on was the buzzing in her core and the heat in her face. He glanced down at her parted lips, letting his imagination roam wildly with fantasies of those lips on his, those lips all over him, and his lips all over her. She noticed this, subtly gripping his shirt in her hand. Deciding that she couldn’t take any more of this tension that choked her like a warm hand wrapped around her throat, she yanked, aggressively pulling him into her and smashed her mouth against his.

His hands flew to her face instantly, cupping her cheeks strongly as she sucked on his bottom lip, running her tongue across it gently as an inquiry. He invited her in, and they did the dance of sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. She reveled in his taste and smell, the cigarettes and the hint of weed from a while ago, and the sound of his labored breathing from his nose against her face. She even liked the way his large nose pushed into her cheek, and she let her arms wrap around his neck in a tight embrace.

He stroked her cheek with his thumb before dropping his hands to her waist, pushing softly and leading her backwards until she felt herself bump up against a large surface, making her gasp against his lips. She let him pin her to the boulder, pulling him in closer and pressing her chest into his. When his abdomen pressed into hers, she could feel him already hard, making her whimper softly into his mouth. He took it as an opportunity to go farther, nestling his thigh in between her legs and resting his knee against the boulder, feeling the absolute heat radiating from her.

Her fingers dug into his hair, accidentally scratching at his scalp and eliciting a groan from him, which ignited her core like a fire. Without realizing it, she had let herself drop onto his thigh, pressing the seam of her jeans up against her clothed heat and rubbing against her covered clit. He felt her slight grind against his leg, letting himself grind his own arousal against her. He lowered one of his hands from her waist to her inner thigh, stroking it with his thumb and eliciting a full-on moan out of her with how close he was to touching her where she needed him most.

Upon hearing herself moan like that, she pulled back, panting. “Wait,” she breathed out, “we’re just friends… we shouldn’t—”

“This is what friends do, right? They help each other out?” he asked lowly, dipping his head to skim his lips against her neck in a ghost of a kiss in an attempt to tease her into wanting more. And, boy, did it work. He could see the goosebumps appearing all over her body.

She shivered before she responded with a meek, “Y-yeah, friends can do this...” He noticed the way her thighs clenched together against his thigh, and stroked her thigh again, even closer to her core that was now damp and getting damper by the second, making her suck in a quick breath through her teeth.

“Just friends,” he agreed, finally placing his lips against her skin and nipping at her neck. She was like putty in his big, warm hands, leaning into his touch and digging her fingers further into his hair, which made him smile against her skin. She could feel the outline of his lips moving against the warmth of her neck as he murmured, “Ugh, I’ve been wanting to touch you like this so bad, ever since I fucking laid eyes on you in the school parking lot.”

“M-me too,” she stammered, pulling him impossibly closer to where he just had to nestle entirely between her thighs. His hands climbed further down, sweeping underneath the curve of her ass to lift her, and she willingly obliged, letting herself be lifted and pressed against the boulder with her legs wrapped around his waist tightly. “I even asked Dustin who the hottie in the jacket was,” she whispered in admittance, and he bit down hard on her neck, eliciting a shocked whimper out of her.

“God, you’re so fucking cute,” he groaned before deftly licking the purple skin where he had bit down on, making her release short, panting breaths and grip his hair harder. “And so fucking pretty.”

He pressed his hard, denim-clad crotch into her, the pressure against her driving her insane. He gently ground into her, one hand holding her up by the ass and the other hand dipping underneath her shirt to feel her hot skin. She mewled like a kitten, needing more friction, not even caring about the rough surface against her back. He broke from the kiss to look at her in her desperate state, seeing her pleading eyes and tousled hair. He smirked, leaning down, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear as he whispered, “You want it, baby?”

“Please,” she whimpered, and he chuckled darkly.

“Already begging for it? Aw, how could I deny such a pretty girl what she wants,” he teased, pulling back and letting her down. She wobbled on weak legs, and he softly pushed her back to lean against the boulder so that he could undo her pants, kneeling down to slip off her shoes and slide her pants off, revealing her legs to the chilly open air, already acquiring goosebumps. Her breath hitched at his own desperation, although a more dominant and demanding desperation.

He gazed down at her underwear with absolute adoration in his eyes. “Jesus, even your panties are so fuckin’ pretty,” he whispered to himself, still kneeling before her. She couldn’t deny the wetness that had pooled in her underwear, feeling her excited walls clench around nothing. This was really happening.

He placed his large, hot hands on her upper thighs, his cool rings contrasting the heat of his hands. He gently spread her thighs, sweeping a hand underneath one to lift it over his shoulder, his eyes locked on the sopping wet patch in the crotch of her panties.

“Oh, fuck, baby,” was all he could say, swiping over he drenched, clothed slit with his thumb to gently rub her sensitive nub over the fabric. Her breathing quickened, and she almost dropped her body weight on him, making him tense up his strong arms to stay put in their position. He looked up at her, her pupils blown and her face red, before asking quietly, “May I?”

“Y-yes,” she breathed out, and that was all it took for him to pull the crotch of her panties to the side and slide two thick fingers through her slick folds.

“Jesus, you’re so wet,” he whispered, pulling his hand back to watch in awe as the slick covering his fingers stringed as he separated his fingers. She whined pitifully, hoping it would bring his touch back to her.

Instead, he stood up, leaving her legs trembling and her half-exposed heat dripping down her thigh. When she saw him begin to undo his own jeans, her eyes were glued to his bulge, the zipper coming down to reveal a large tent in his plaid boxers. Before she let herself get carried away, she pulled herself back to reality for long enough to ask, “You got a rubber?”

“Oh! Yes, I do,” he chirped, leaving his clothed erection hanging out of his black jeans while he reached in his back pocket to pull out his wallet, an old leathery thing, and pulled out a silver packet. “Bingo,” he said, holding it up.

“Did you plan this?” she asked, wondering why he had brought along a condom in the first place.

“Not this specifically,” he admitted with a smirk, “but I did put this in my wallet right after we met.”

“You cheeseball,” she teased, taking the condom wrapper out of his hands. “Can I put it on you?” she asked, gazing into his eyes to find a glimmer of adoration in his.

“Y-yeah,” he breathed, looking down and pulling himself out of his boxers.

She couldn’t help but ogle at it; it was long but also quite girthy. She would have called it impressive if she didn’t want to give him any more of an ego that he already had. She settled for mouthing the word, Wow.

Not wanting to waste anymore time, she ripped the edge of the wrapper off with her teeth, ignoring the smidge of package lubricant that touched her tongue. He stepped up close to her again, his length brushing against the belly of her shirt. Taking the rolled up rubber, she touched it to his tip, that already had a small bead of pre-cum leaking. He hissed at the contact as she rolled the condom down his length, gripping it and shimmying the latex down as far as it would go, her band brushing against the mound of dark brown hair at his base, which tickled her hand.

He watched her do this, his stare morphing from awestruck to almost predatory as he thought about all of the things he could do to her, anything to get her to make those beautiful noises for him again. As soon as the condom was on, he swooped her up once more, lifting her to pin her between the boulder and himself with the only barrier between them being the thin, soaked fabric of her underwear.

She wanted to kiss him again so bad, but she just couldn’t look away from his intense eye contact. She wrapped her arms lazily around his shoulders, fingers playing with the hair strands at the nape of his neck. His eyes bored into her soul as he reached down in between them, pulling her underwear to the side, and sliding himself up and down her wet slit, gathering her slick and bumping the sensitive nub that made her gasp and wrap her legs around him tighter. She tried to look down in between them, so that she could watch him, but his other hand grabbed her jaw, holding her face so that she had no choice to but to hold his stare.

His member prodded her dripping hole, and he leaned in to finally kiss her again, pressing into her and pushing himself in at the same time. The sensation of him ever so slowly stretching her out made her moan into his mouth, and she pulled him harder into the kiss, her hands buried at their rightful place in his hair.

Once he was buried to the hilt, she adjusted to his size, feeling herself relax around his member, and she broke their kiss to bury her face in his neck, his hair sticking to her face. She felt her walls clench down on him from his lack of movement and her need for just that. He leaned his head against hers, nuzzling her for a moment before whispering in her ear, “You want me to fuck you, sweetheart?”

“Y-yes,” she stammered out, feeling her own hips stutter against his body at the thought of him pounding into her.

“Yes, what, baby?” Chills ran down her spine. She never pictured herself enjoying being dominated, but with Eddie, she wanted nothing more for him to do whatever he wanted with her.

“Please!” she squeaked out, whimpering against his neck.

And that was all it took for him to give her exactly what she wanted, what she craved so desperately. He thrusted into her, against the huge rock, at a leisurely pace, and the drag of his thick length continuously stretching her from the inside had her already quaking. She was a mess, whimpering and whining into the crook of his neck, feeling the pleasurable burn of her tightness being filled out so completely. “Eddie, that feels so good,” she whined.

When he began to pound harder, he pulled her head away from his neck and cradled the back of her head to keep it from banging against the solid rock behind her. He wanted to watch the pleasure in her face. He listened to her whines turn into moans, he watched her jaw go lax and her brows knit together.

“Fuck, baby, you look so fuckin’ pretty like this,” he groaned in between his own grunts, one hand behind her head and one digging into the side of her hip so hard that he was almost worried he’d leave a bruise.

He slid his hand down from her hip, down in between their bodies, down past her pretty panties, and landed on her sweet, throbbing cunt that was taking him in so well. She whined at the contact, thrusting her hips out for him, and he absolutely ate it up, using two fingers to rub soft, slow circles around her aching clit.

At this, her legs were tensing up, squeezing around his waist hard. To him, she sounded like an angel, moaning and whimpering so beautifully just for him. He let himself speed up his pace, slamming into her ferociously while keeping his fingers slow and steady.

Her whole body was shaking as she felt that string inside of her wind tightly, begging to snap, and Eddie knew. He could feel her tightening up around his cock, and he wanted to give her something she’d never forget.

He slowed down his thrusts into an agonizing pace, slowly sliding in and out with ease, his fingers taking their time on her overstimulated bundle of nerves, prolonging the build-up to her orgasm. She was downright trembling against him, and her eyes fluttered open to look at him, her eyes welling with hot tears of pleasure. She needed more, needed him faster and harder. All she could do was beg pitifully, whimpering strings of “please, please, please,” with her moans.

“Please?” he groaned, taking in the sight of her writhing before him. “Oh, baby… you don’t need to ask, you’re almost there,” he teased, adding his thumb to swipe up and down her drenched slit while he kept his fingers on her clit.

She let her hips chase the feeling, rutting up against him as the overstimulation from his the slow push and pull of his cock, the attention to her slit, and the touches around her clit gathered up inside of her, tightening up in her core until she felt like she was about to burst. She squeezed her eyes, her chin wobbling as she began to feel that white hot pleasure sear through her.

Just as she felt herself slowly begin to let go, he felt the first tight clench and smirked. He suddenly began pounding harder once more, feeling her walls flutter around him so tightly he thought it would project him out of her. Her moans were more like quick, high-pitched squeals as that string inside of her finally snapped and she came harder than she ever had in her life around Eddie’s cock.

He rode her through her orgasm, continuing her pleasure as he chased his own, listening to her incoherent babbling as she let her lips loose on his neck, mindlessly licking and sucking at it as she held him so tightly that her nails dug into the back of his neck. His grunts became his own soft moans as his hips stuttered into hers, and he came with a soft, “Oh, fuck, baby,” cooed in her ear, spilling himself into the condom but wishing he could just paint her insides with his seed. He dropped his head against hers and they stayed there like that for a good, long moment, basking in post-coital bliss.

Both panting and sweaty messes, he pulled back and she looked at him, a wide smile blossoming on her face. They both couldn’t help it, and they laughed hard at the irreversible choice they just made. She winced as he pulled out, and in consolation, he kissed her sweaty forehead.

He slid the condom off, tying the end of it into a knot like the world’s wimpiest water balloon, while she put her put her pants back on, swiping off the dirt it had gathered from sitting on the forest floor, and slipped her shoes back on.

She watched as he tucked himself back into his boxers and zipped up his jeans, filled condom still in hand. He took a second to look at it wonderingly, before suddenly turning to throw it as hard as he could up towards the huge boulder above them that was shaped like a skull. They both watched as it disappeared above the head of the boulder, not hearing it land on the other side, leaving them both to assume he had managed to throw it on top of the boulder, to sit there until somebody was bold enough to climb it and discover a nasty, used condom.

He released a content sigh, stretching his back backwards before joking, “So, ‘hottie with the jacket’, huh?”

“Shut up,” she retorted, slinking back down with shaky legs to sit on the ground. “So, you wanna talk art?”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #stranger things eddie #stranger things #stranger things volume 4

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colormepurplex2 · 4 months

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Okay I did not expect that many 😵

And so many read hot af that I don't know where to start!!

Number 11 + 17 + 18 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) + 5 😋

💜

My Lucy! You know, I didn't expect that many either...it wasn't until I sat down and started going through them that I realized it, I could have sworn it was only at like 25 last time I checked 😂

Okay, so...this is going to be a long one and so all the good stuff is below the cut! I'm going to include the graphics I've made for some of these as well 💜 5. Bounce/JHS 11. FF10: Dare Me To Eat You 17. PULSE/Maknaevamp 18. On Blades of Amethyst & Echoes

ALSO, please be aware there ARE spoilers below as well, esp for FF10: Dare Me To Eat You.

5. Bounce/JHS

This is part of my Heartbeat Melodies series (where I am writing 1 fic based on a song for each BTS member. So far, I've gotten Jin's and Yoongi's done and posted).

The song for this fic is Bounce by Timbaland. StreetDancer!Hoseok x StreetDancer!f.Reader Rivals to Lovers, Street Dance Competition

In the underground dance scene, it's all about the crew you move with; body, mind, soul...no room for the heart. That is, until you find yourself dancing to the tune of someone else's beat.

The cardboard under your foot grew wet, soaking up the sleuth of water from the sudden downpour a moment ago. It was as if the sky opened up to remind you just how quickly it can all be washed away—the blood, sweat, and tears—so you're left with a clean slate. You watched as water dripped from the tip of J's nose. He was standing across the pit from you, hands on his narrow hips, and chest heaving from the exertion of the performance he put on before the sky took its turn. J was new to the scene, a fresh face trying to find his place—trying to find a crew. He's good—too good. Maybe if you had known that day, how things would go in the end, you would never have walked away. As it is, you gave him one more once over before turning on your heel and doing just that. Not because you didn't want him to join your crew, but because you were scared that he'd be the catalyst for you losing it all. Little did you know, that would happen anyway.

11. FF10: Dare Me To Eat You

The graphic for this one is already available on the Master Post. This is chapter 10 of my ongoing fic Fickle Flame and it's currently over a year behind in being posted, oops 😂😅

OT7 x FemOC & OT7 x OT7 Vampire/Werewolf/A/B/O Dystopian AU, Enemies/Lovers

“You want me to speak plainly?” Namjoon bites out, the words caustic behind clamped teeth. “I’m going to pump you so full of vampire venom you won’t have a choice but to turn into one! Satisfied?” There is a ringing in Shayne’s ears. It’s so loud she’s not sure she heard Namjoon correctly. She opens her mouth, intent on asking him to repeat his words, but saliva pools under her tongue, and the muscle seems far too thick to fit around her teeth. If it wasn’t for the air whistling down her throat, she’d almost believe she was choking. The words won’t form. They refuse to slip from between her lips. A vampire. He wants to turn her into a vampire. “No.” Finally, a word slithers out. She repeats it, letting it pour out in a stringed litany of denial. “No, no, no, no, no—" Her world rocks alarmingly as Namjoon jerks her around to face him, his hand still tight on her upper arm and the other closing over her mouth, cutting off her tirade. He towers over her, a formidable presence of sheer power. There is a flash of yellow in his eyes, the irises taking on a tinge of red as it passes. “You are the first inkling of hope we’ve had in nearly three decades.” He takes a slow, deep breath. “You will not fight me.”

17. PULSE/Maknaevamps

Vampire!MaknaeLine x Human!f.Reader Futuristic Urban Fantasy Thriller, Vampires

This is what I have down in my notes "It’s a futuristic sci fi setting, imagine like cyberpunk 2077 or a bit of Tron. But the underbelly of the city is dark and insidious, as one would guess. The maknae’s are like mercenaries of a sort, meting out their own taste of justice to people pushing a drug called Pulse that’s like vampire cocaine that’s turning vampires feral. The FMC gets caught up in the drug trading and ends up being caught by them."

There is a lot more to it, but that would give away the entire plot altogether 😂 I've honestly been frothing at the mouth of wanting to get started on this. I don't even have a snippet to share because all I have so far are my outline notes and bulleted plot points.

18. On Blades of Amethyst & Echoes

Dragon Rider!Yoongi x Psion!f.Reader Strangers to Lovers, High Fantasy Summary: The horizon blazes the color of amethyst, an ode to a coming death that will sweep the land if you don’t stop it. Secrets long hidden are revealed, but they come at a steep cost, as you have no choice but to follow the echoes of things long since past.

This, of course, is a follow-up to JK's story, On Wings of Mist & Memories.

I don't have a lot of finished content for this, just mostly giant walls of text/notes from my frantic brainstorming when I finished JK's story 😂 But, I can share a little of the notes, even if it won't make sense at all. Be aware that I have named JK's FMC from his story for the sake of story writing but have removed her name from this snippet of notes 👀

JK’s Psion travels with JK and Yoongi, who is now the captain of the guard, to go and investigate the mountain range border and figure out why reports have stopped coming from the outposts. They find all manner of soldiers frozen/suspended in time, the only indicator or trace of what happened is a distinct purple dust that clings to everything. Yoongi's FMC is another Psion, one with a secret and a past she is trying to run from. She's also the only person they find NOT frozen by the mysterious purple dust. Yoongi has so many questions, like 'Where did she come from? Why is she here at a military outpost when no Psion has been assigned to this quadrant?' And he's going to get the answers...no matter what it takes.

#wip tag game #bts tag game #colormepurplex2writings

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aylacavebear · 7 months

Text

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine.

Word Count: 2420

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. May have future SMUT 18+!

Warnings: Angst, Fluff.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 35 - Heaven

The three “landed” in a white hallway lined with white doors, all of which were numbered. Maria remembered this place from her first dreams as a child, although there were no angels in this particular hallway. She took a slow, deep breath, centering herself. She could feel all the souls of Heaven, as well as the celestial beings. It was a lot to process.

“You okay?” Cas asked her curiously but also concerned.

“Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just a lot to take in,” she replied, finding her sense of peace again, letting it radiate out and through Heaven.

They began walking down the long, white hallway. There were white lights around each of the doors along the inside of the doorframe, and the numbers were also illuminated. She also noticed that there was a light strip along the baseboard between each of the doors. It reminded Maria almost of a maze. The ceiling was double her height and relatively plain. Something else she found interesting was that the air was utterly void of odor or scent.

Maria walked with the two angels behind her, walking beside each other. She let her intuition guide her, turning down different hallways. She felt each soul with every door she passed. They were happy and mostly at peace, but she could feel that they seemed to be longing for something.

After turning down yet another white hallway, she saw two angels standing on either side of an opening, reminding her of guards. She sighed as the three of them approached the guards.

“May I pass?” she asked the guards, mildly curious.

“We have orders not to let you in. Those two are to be arrested to face the consequences of their actions,” the guard to Maria’s left told her somewhat sternly.

She sighed, “I’m trying to be diplomatic about this. Now please, let me pass,” she asked the guards again, who still refused to move and allow her passage.

Stubborn angels, she thought to herself.

Two angels appeared behind the trio, but when they went to reach for Cas and Mari, they stopped mid-reach. Maria sighed and turned to face them. Archangels. She shook her head slightly, “I’m not here to fight. I just want to talk,” she explained.

“We have our orders,” the archangel on her right stated.

Maria hadn’t wanted it to go this route and was still determined to do things as diplomatically as possible. She let her inner grace brighten, that soft yet vibrant purple, her wings now a silhouette behind her as her eyes glowed slightly.

“And I just want to talk. Are your orders from God, the so-called prophet?” she asked him, tilting her head just a bit.

The archangel was taken aback by her words. Mari and Cas just smiled, staying quiet for now. The guards were also stunned at the revelation. She approached the archangels, still not entirely sure which ones they were.

“You can feel that peace. I’m not here to hurt anyone. Perhaps foil someone’s plans of an apocalypse, but not to hurt anyone,” she reiterated, smiling softly at the two.

As she reached a hand out to each of them, they took a step back from her, and she sighed, seeing them both fashioning an angel blade they’d let slip into their hands from their sleeves. Maria held up her hand, “No,” she spoke softly. The angel blades disappeared, shocking all four of the angels that were attempting to keep her from her goals. Maria sighed, then went back to face the two guards. She needed to go down that hallway. Past the guards, she could vaguely see that it opened up into a room adorned in white like the rest of the place.

“Let her pass,” a male voice said from inside the open room.

The guards moved to the side. Maria took a deep breath, steadying her nerves, and then walked into the open room, Mari and Cas following her with the two archangels behind them. They passed a couple more numbered doors before reaching the room.

On the opposite side of the room was a white throne. It looked simple, although the back of it almost reminded her of how the hat of the pope looked. To either side, there were smaller chairs. On one side of the room was a table, which was also white. On the other side was a white couch. There were also several angels in the room, with a man sitting on the throne. Maria took in their expressions and emotions. She felt that same curiosity coming off the angels in the room that she’d felt from Cas when she’d met him.

“Why are you here?” God/Chuck asked her, and Maria could tell he was attempting to keep his composure.

The two archangels that had been behind them took a seat on either side of the throne as Maria stopped roughly four feet from the throne, “I’m here to talk. Do you prefer God or Chuck?” she told him, still calmly.

Maria’s soft yet vibrant purple glow pulsed slightly. Being in Heaven seemed almost to increase her powers. She didn’t fully understand it at the moment, though, as her focus was on the task at hand. She could also hear the other angels whispering to each other as they pointed and watched her with Mari and Cas.

He wasn’t pleased with her boldness or how she was managing to stay so calm. The thing that was really getting to him was that energy coming from her, permeating the room. It brought him discomfort, and he shifted on his throne, leaning his elbow on the arm of the throne, his jaw resting on his fist, trying to at least look relaxed.

“God’s fine. What do you want to talk about?” he asked begrudgingly. He knew he’d have to play this right, or all of Heaven would rebel against him if they knew too much of what his plans had been.

“I’ve already spoken with Lilith. She agreed to let the souls that belong in Heaven be here, that was early this morning. She also agreed to a reform program for souls in Hell that want to redeem themselves and come to Heaven,” Maria explained, taking note of how the other angels continued whispering but never taking their eyes off of her.

She was good; he had to give her that, although he wouldn’t admit it out loud. He shifted in his seat so that he was sitting up straighter, “Why are you even worried about that? You’re an abomination, and you shouldn’t exist,” he stated, now looking at Mari.

Maria took a deep breath, mustering her confidence, “This has everything to do with me. I’ve come to bring back the peace of the beginning. To remind not only the angels but also you what it was like in the beginning when you cared.”

Now, all the angel's eyes were on God/Chuck. Cas and Mari were smiling, noticing the shift in the room. Even the archangels were looking at God, questioning what exactly was going on, almost as if their memories had been erased from that time, so long ago.

“Back then, you encouraged the intermingling of man and angel. Nephilim weren’t an abomination. They used to be a symbol of love that the communities welcomed with open arms. It was when the demons and Lucifer began whispering in the ears of men that things changed, and you did nothing. You didn’t protect any of them, and now you’re deliberately trying to bring about an apocalypse,” Maria continued, calmly yet bluntly.

“What is she talking about?” the archangel to his left asked.

“Ignore her. She doesn’t know what she’s saying,” God attempted to dismiss her words.

Maria tilted her head a bit, “I can show them, to make things easier,” she offered, half smiling, trying not to smirk.

Chuck glared at her. He wanted to do something to stop her but knew that there was nothing he could do, not with how her powers had flourished. Plus, he could tell that she was protecting Castiel and Zamariel. Before he could say anything, though, Maria closed her eyes, sharing her memories with all the angels of Heaven, not just the ones in that room. She showed them what Mari had told her, what she’d learned from Cas and the one interaction she’d had with Chuck in his home. All the angels turned to look at Chuck, who also saw her memories.

“Is this true?” the archangel to his right asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” God argued, his anger flaring, feeling the angels' faith wavering.

“I want you on board with the reform program that Lilith has implemented. I also want Heaven to truly care about the souls that are here. My next question is for the angels. What do you think would bring the most happiness and peace to a soul?” Maria explained; near the end, she looked to the angels in the room.

There were a lot of quiet whispers, but all of them were thinking, even the archangels. Chuck looked livid. Maria waited patiently for one of the angels to speak up, hoping they could see the same thing she did.

“To see their loved ones?” a woman’s voice said from somewhere to Maria’s left.

Maria smiled a little, “You’d be right,” she answered softly, her gaze never leaving Chuck’s.

Again, all the angel's eyes went to God, who was fuming where he sat. There were more murmurs from the angels, and several more showed up in the hallway to see what was happening.

“So, my next question to all of you is this: if seeing their loved ones would make a soul happiest, most at peace, then why hasn’t God set up Heaven to allow such a thing?” Maria suggested.

A pulse could be felt through Heaven by all of them. All their eyes looked up and around as the lights in the room pulsed again. Maria kept her eyes on Chuck, and he kept his eyes on her.

“What’s happening?” a male angel asked from somewhere in the back of the crowd that had gathered.

Maria sighed, “The faith that once powered Heaven is wavering.” She paused, though, wanting to choose her words carefully. The last thing she needed was a ton of scared angels, “God, why not let that peace come back? Why are you so hellbent on bringing about the apocalypse?” she insisted.

“Damnit! Why did you have to go and ruin everything, Zamariel!?” God yelled, ignoring Maria completely.

Mari stood confidently, just behind Maria, Cas by her side, “Why don’t you answer her?” Mari mused.

Chuck growled. He reminded Maria of a child throwing a tantrum at the moment. The angel's eyes were still on him, confused with all that had been revealed.

“It was supposed to be the fight of the century. Resetting things with fewer people. Less corruption. Yeah, half the planet might have gotten destroyed in the process, but it would have recovered. None of the angels would have been the wiser,” God went off, rambling as he paced, his words laced with anger.

Heaven pulsed again. Maria took a slow, deep breath, centering herself, holding onto that peace she’d come to enjoy and letting it radiate from her. Her eyes then glowed in the soft yet vibrant purple as she looked at Chuck, “Heaven doesn’t need you to run things. It’s not God that people believe in. It’s an idea of God. An idea that you no longer are.”

With another pulse, the angels all got their memories back from the time of the beginning. A look of realization crossed their faces, their gazes going from Maria to God and back to Maria. She could feel their apprehension and worry.

“GET OUT!” God yelled at Maria.

The two archangels that were sitting on either side of him stood, setting a hand on either of his shoulders, “This isn’t what Heaven was meant to be,” the one to his left stated.

Maria took a deep breath, “I think you need to experience what it’s like to live like a human, like one of your creations,” she told Chuck, stepping closer to him.

“You can’t…” he almost looked afraid the closer she got.

She tilted her head just a bit, smiling softly at him, “I can, and I think it’s what you need, so you can remember what you found most precious about them.”

Maria then reached out and set her hand on his chest, that same soft yet vibrant purple light appearing under her hand. She’d locked his powers away, deep inside him, only to be unlocked when he remembered. Then, she teleported him to Earth so that he could go live a human existence.

“What are we supposed to do now?” a female angel asked.

With a shaky breath, Maria turned to face Mari, “I need you to stay here with Cas. The angels need guidance that only you can bring them.”

Mari felt tears sliding down her cheeks, “I’m so proud of you, Little One,” she told her daughter, then embraced her in a hug, which Maria returned, and one more pulse went through Heaven.

With that, Heaven changed. They were now in more of a lobby of sorts, resembling that of a hotel you’d find near a ski resort. The angels all looked around. This was their new office. Heaven itself was different as well for the souls that were there. There were no more rooms, keeping the souls separate from each other. Now they had free roam of Heaven to visit their loved ones as they wanted.

The angels relaxed, their eyes now on Maria and Zamariel. The two separated before Cas came over and hugged Maria, then she addressed the angels, “Zamariel will stay with all of you. She’ll help you understand things and set up the reform program. I don’t know how long it will take for God to remember what’s important, but when he does, he’ll be able to return to you.”

Mari again had tears in her eyes, more proud of her daughter than she could ever express in words. She knew it would be a long road, re-teaching the angels how to have humanity and how to think for themselves, helping them get over the mind control and memory wipes that God had done to them over the millennia.

The two exchanged one last hug before Maria flew back to the bunker, landing in the library.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 36

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @kazsrm67

Link to the master list for this story.

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