#also like how are you qualifying Best Friend. shane was the last person up at ryans wedding. hes the person ryans known the least

[littlekingbergara]

it makes me so ridiculously happy whenever ryan refers to shane as his best friend. they don't even have to say it, that man IS his best friend but hearing the words come out of his mouth is everything. but sometimes i feel like it's not mutual? like, ryan's been shouting how shane's his best friend to the world, even made him his groomsman (was he the best man?) but why do i lowkey feel as if shane doesn't reciprocate that? obviously shane's been saying how he's his friend and has defended ryan time and time again, but is shane ryan's best friend but ryan isn't shane's best friend? or maybe compared to ryan, shane really is just privy with his personal life? (also ryan isn't even one of shane's groomsman]

i don't wanna look deep into their relationship because they're real people but yaknow

shane was not ryan's best man but the fact that ryan wasn't in his wedding should nottt stick out to you as support for shane not reciprocating ryan's feelings or whatever. ryan had ten people up with him at his wedding and shane had four. ryan's wedding was a lot bigger than shane's and there are so many other factors that go into choosing those people that ryan not being in it cannot possibly be a statement that he doesn't care about him the same.

you're definitely right at the end tho shane is more private with his personal life. and they are real people with a private friendship as well as their public one and we have no way of knowing what goes on there but i definitely Don't think theres any one-sidedness or uncertainty or unevenness about where they stand with each other.

[becausenoothernameisavailable]

Winter Olympics AU.

Day 5. No Dalton AU Dalton Academy never existed. So where do our characters end up? Do some of them know each other anyway? Maybe they ended up in public schools, maybe they would never meet at all. Tell or show us what happens if Dalton Academy had never been built.

They meet at the Olympics of course.

“And now we have TEAM USA led by the defending Olympic Champion Blaine Anderson”

As the announcer continued to speak about Blaine Anderson and size of the Team USA, Logan sighed and carefully made his way down the icy cold arena surrounded by his teammates, his rivals, his friends, all wrapped up in their heavy matching jacket, gloves, mittens and boots as they smiled and cheered and waved at the gathered spectators.

He was here to win. Gold, his dad promised to everyone at to the press conference announcing the team representing the USA in the 2022 Olympics.

“So, you’re not sad that it’s not you out there?” Logan looked up to find his best friend Derek gesturing to the front at Blaine; mitten gloved and beaming as he slowly carried their country flag, waving it carefully and smiling as he led the team.

“No.” he sighed remembering the awful situation that was his dad who finally realized that his son’s fooling around was an actual Olympic sport and could be spun around to boost his campaign that he gunned for Logan to be the flag bearer. Luckily, Logan got to his dad first before he could talk to concerned people and convince him that he needed to focus on his jumps, otherwise, that would have been a disaster waiting to happen. There was already talk about favouritism and politics involved thanks to his dad but Logan won the national trials by fair and square and by a large margin. There were no doubts involved he was good, but now he needed to prove just how good he actually was.

“No, Blaine deserved it, he did win gold in the last Olympics. There was no way they would replace him with me.”

“Then it’s all cool with you.” Derek asked as he watched his best friend, “And him.”  They both gave up the pretence of waving and were walking side by side, camouflaged by the sheer size of the US Winter Olympics team.

“Yeah.” Logan nodded and watched his ex who was now glancing at his boyfriend Kurt Hummel – US team Figure skater as he walked not quite behind Blaine and they both beamed at each other. “He’s with Hummel now. We were not good together.”

“You did love him, once.”

“And look at what that led us to, a hushed-up article about a bar fight between an Olympic gold medalist and the son of a US Senator. And to think that it started out as a date.”

“Well, I am glad to see you’re better now.” Derek grinned at him, “and I look forward to beating you on the ice.”

“You got a Bronze last time.” Logan nudged him, ”don’t act like as if you won.”

“At least I was on the podium, Mr 4th Place.” Derek smiled cheekily and slapped Logan on the back, who narrowed his eyes on him, “Oh it’s so on Seigerson.”

“Come at me, Wright.”

*

The opening ceremony went on for the rest of the night and soon it was the next day and qualifying rounds began for the games which would last for almost two weeks.

You got this, just ski like you normally ski and all will be well.

“Men’s round – Team 1 out on the ice.”

“You got this.” He told himself and immediately walked into another person. He couldn’t stop it from happen and they both went slipping out into the ice.

“Ow,” Logan said and from where he was sprawled out on the floor. “You okay,” Derek said as skied and stopped next to him. “Yes, though I think I was sabotaged.” and Derek laughed, “Sabotaged, by him.” He gestured to the other person who was still winded out, lying on the ice.

He looked pale and delicate, slender Logan corrected as those were clearly muscles that moved through his skin-tight training suit as he was surrounded by teammates – Great Britain, Logan read as the guy slowly moved away from the ice, shivering. Logan frowned, he would have to be freezing here out in the snow, in the elements with just a training suit which did wonders for his body highlighting his muscles, skin tight and black standing out in the white snow.

“Logan. Hey.” He realized that Derek was still talking to him and he dusted himself and nodded to Derek, “I am alright, let’s do this.”

*

In, out, just like breathing. Logan thought as he skied, that’s its.

“Great work everyone.” Their coach smiled and Logan nodded. He was done for the day and he needed the rest hoping that his allotted room was free.

He dropped his kit back in the room and went down to the mess building and almost collided with another person. Twice in one day, seriously “Oh great, it's you again.”

“Excuse me.” Logan asked, he didn’t know the guy in front of him but he looked pissed, “Are you out for round 2 then,” and he realized it was the guy from the morning. “Woah, excuse me,” he narrowed his eye "You collided with me.” The angry look that met him made all the blood in his body pool immediately in his dick. The guy was absolutely his type, little taller than him, slender but strong, tousled brown hair as he sneered at him. He studied Logan’s Team USA jacket and snorted, “Don’t think I am going to allow you to boost Hummel’s chances at gold. I got this in the bag.” and smirked and walked away.

Who was that?

*

“We’re are going to see the figure skating program later today, coming with?”

Logan looked up to find Derek and a bunch of his fellow skiers changed out of their uniform. “I want to practice a few jumps, now that the trails are free,” Logan said as he picked up his snowboard.

“Oh give it a rest.” Derek laughed and clapped him on the back. “We just skied a perfect practice. I can beat you later on the board.”

Logan narrowed his eyes, “You mean like how I beat you yesterday, even after my fall.”

“Sure, whatever." Derek drawled, "plus David here hasn’t stopped whining about seeing his girlfriend and he’s making me miserable. He’s an even worse roommate than you.” he said laughing at their teammate David Sullivan who was ecstatic when his girlfriend made the cut.

“I miss her,” David said and smiled at his phone display that was an image of a smiling girl with long brown and large brown eye.

“Plus there will be girls” Wes piped “And Boys.” chimed Shane, Dear God another Anderson, of the US Ski Team.

*

The break in the practice was actually refreshing and Logan found himself enjoying as his teammates cheered on their fellow teammates, occasionally passing comments if a cute girl skated by.

They were also not alone as Blaine Anderson was out near the rink gazing moodily at his boyfriend who was doing warm-ups in the corner when the Team Great Britain entered in.

“Oh wow, who is that.” Derek eyes glazed and Derek saw him look at a girl in Team GB coat enter the rink and practice skating.

“Casey Scott.” David replied moodily, “Katherine’s frenemy, gold medal hopeful, placed first in the Worlds last year and the Grand Prix.”

”You know a lot about figure skating man.” Derek replied as he watched Casey spin and skate her way around the ice. “Teach me about it. Like what move is that which made her skirt fly up. She looked cute doing it.” and Logan smiled at his best friend’s dopey grin and heart eyes.

“Slow down cowboy, you just learnt her name.”

“Well, we definitely need to put this in use.” Derek tossed something from his pocket at Logan’s face and who reflexively caught it.

“I have my own thank you very much,” Logan smirked and threw it back the Derek who laughed and pocketed it.

“They give them out every single year.” Charlie Amos said from behind him and Logan wondered if the entire US Ski team/snowboarding team was going to show up to watch the US figure skate team participate.

“What are you doing here man?” David and Wes smiled and hugged their friend

“Heard from Shane that we’re all gathering here so I made my way here,” Charlie said and zipped up his coat making himself comfortable.

“I see that the men’s team is next.” Charlie when he noticed Kurt and the others gathering next to the rink entrance.

“Oh man, I hope Blaine plays it cool and not mess up like yesterday,” Shane whispered as he watched his older brother dopily follow his boyfriend everywhere he went.

“Yeah, that’s not going happen.” Wes and David laughed loudly, “Not if Kurt decides to play.”

“What did he do?” Logan laughed and Derek nodded eagerly.

“He was watching Kurt unzip his jacket and he missed a couple of stairs and tripped.” David laughed. “Kurt was to blame, he knew Blaine was watching him so he threw a couple of smirks and saucy winks at him and then Blaine fell.”

“Spectacularly“ Wes laughed, “He didn’t get hurt.” He was in full gym uniform, padding and everything, having not bothered to change, But yeah.”

“But then Kurt made it up to him, several times may I add and loudly.”

“See this why you need to test these soon.” Derek quipped and slapped the condom back into Logan’s hand when Shane whistled next to him. “I think I will take that.” and pocketed the condom from a surprised Logan. “Team GB has just walked in and I think I have died and gone to heaven. There is an actual angel on the rink.”

Logan side-eyed Shane from where he was moonily gazing out on the rink and laughed, the Anderson Brothers were a riot alright and he turned to look out at the rink and his breath got stuck.

Out on the rink right in the middle, a boy was skating perfectly with the music, moving in, moving out, gliding with the flow of the music as he skated gracefully across the ice. He raised an arm up twirled before he took off in jump which had all crowd cheering and Logan staring in admiration. He then landed gently and twirled again and Logan recognized his face immediately.

“It's him.” He jogged Derek’s arm “from yesterday and today.”

“Who is that?.”  Logan said and realized that Shane had asked the same thing. There’s no way he was getting the perfect stranger, he was Logan’s

“Who.” all the guys asked as they watch the two of them.

“Him,” Logan whispered, at boy danced seamlessly with the music, his brunette hair arranged artfully as he raised a hand up and jumped again.

“The cute one, who skates like an angel, like a perfect cherub with wings.” Everyone sighed at Shane’s adjectives and he waved his hand, no his entire body at the little Strawberry blond Team GB skater as he skated across the ice. “He looks like a Botticelli carved angel.” and everyone groaned.

“Reed Van Kamp,” Charlie announced reading from his phone. “Team GB, figure skating.”

“Give me that.” Shane made grabby hands towards Charlie who sighed and handed his phone to Shane who alternated between the staring moonily at the phone and Reed skating.

“The other one is Julian Larson, in case you’re interested.” Derek smiled at his friend softly.

“Julian Larson,” Logan whispered as he tracked the boy skate gracefully across the ice, moving in time with the music, a soft smile on his face. Maybe he has more than just gold to look forward too.

[wildflowerirwin]

Love Me Back - a.i. (2)

Masterlist

Summary: Lacey Teller needed more, she found it in a sugar daddy

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Swearing, men are still shit, sexy times

Words: 3k-ish

Lacey walked into the bar, her skirt riding up slightly. She wasn’t entirely surprised that her work uniform was a short skirt, but the material wasn’t cooperating with her skin. She walked up to the counter where a skinny brunette stood, picking at her clearly fake nails. “Hi, I’m Lacey. You must be Callie.”

“Must be.” Callie rolled her eyes. “Listen, today’s my last day. I’m not interested in forming any friendships. Just watch me do my job, so you can do it.”

“I-.. Okay.” Lacey sighed softly.

“Great, grab an apron and a notepad. If you ask stupid questions, I will give you stupid answers.” Callie said, walking toward a table.

“What qualifies as a stupid questions?” Lacey asked, following after Callie.

“The same qualifications that make you stupid.” Callie rolled her eyes and walked up to a table of college aged men. “Starting with beers, gentleman?” Callie asked, leaning against the table.

“Would be spectacular.” One of the guys grinned at her.

“Lacey, be a dear and get these gents some beer.” Callie raised an eyebrow at her.

“Sure!” Lacey smiled and walked to the bar, filling glasses for them. She set the glasses on a tray and walked past the bar.

“This is gonna be good.” Callie said to the guys, turning to watch Lacey. Lacey was almost to the table when another patron pushed their chair out, causing Lacey to trip. She let out a yelp as she fell to the ground, the tray of beers flying out of her hands.

“What the hell was that?” Michael asked, coming out of the back room.

“Oh, nothing. The new waitress is just learning how to handle a fall.” Callie smirked down at Lacey.

“Anything broken comes out of your paycheck.” Michael rolled his eyes and walked back into the back room. Lacey stood up and looked at Callie.

“Were you trying to get me fired on my first day?”

“Oh, please.” Callie rolled her eyes. “Every waitress has to fall once, I just made yours easier. Now, go get new beers and don’t drop them.” Callie shrugged and watched as Lacey walked back to the bar.

“Fucking ridiculous.” Lacey shook her head and filled new glasses and loaded them onto the tray. She brought them over to the table and set them down.

“You’re gonna be one hell of a waitress. Think you can handle it from here?” Callie smirked at her.

“Whatever, just go home.” Lacey sighed and walked to the front door to seat the group that had just entered.

“Can’t leave until I’m sure you’re ready. Besides, I need another hour of payroll if I’m gonna pay rent this month,” Callie shrugged.

“Fine,” Lacey said, seating the group in a booth and handing them menus. She walked over to the bar where Callie stood. “Tell me about the managers.” Lacey said, sitting on a barstool.

“First of all, if any of them catch you sitting on the job, you’ll get a very stern talking to and a write up.” Callie said, crossing her arms. Lacey sighed and got off the stool.

“They’re real sticks in the mud, aren’t they?” Lacey mused. “Think I should out a bandaid on this scrape?”

“You’re fine. Now, Calum is. Ashton usually stays in the back unless it’s really busy. Luke and Michael are both pretty laid back, until something goes wrong. Depends on how wrong it is for Luke to actually care.” Callie shrugged.

“No, I mean like personality.” Lacey said, leaning against the bar.

“Honestly, I don’t know much about them. They’re all very secretive about their private lives. I know Luke has a dog.”

“You really don’t know anything about them?”

“Well, Ashton’s 25. He’s owned this bar since he was 17, it was passed down to him. Calum, Luke, and Michael are all 23. They’ve all been friends since they were kids. Moved here from Australia together when Ashton inherited the bar.” Callie said, picking at her nails again.

“Hm..” Lacey hummed. “I’ll be right back.” She walked over to the booth she seated. “Y’all ready to order?” Callie smiled to herself and walked into the back.

“Ashton, I’m leaving. Your new waitress can handle things on her own.” Callie said, untying her apron and hanging it up.

“You think she’s ready? That was a pretty nasty fall she had.” Michael chimed in, looking at Callie.

“Lacey fell? Is she okay?” Ashton asked, standing up from his desk.

“She’s fine. A little scrape on her knee, but she’s fine. Every waitress has to fall. She let her scrape rest while she asked me all sorts of questions about your personalities.” Callie rolled her eyes. “Now, I’m leaving. Pleasure working with you guys, hope to never do it again.” Callie walked out of the back and out of the bar. Ashton sighed and walked out of the back to check on Lacey.

“Lacey, can I speak to you?” Ashton raised an eyebrow.

“Of course, sir.” Lacey said, following him into the back and into the office. Ashton closed the door behind them and Lacey looked up at him. “What’s going on?”

“You asking Callie about me?” Ashton mused, trailing his fingers along her arm.

“Maybe.” Lacey chewed on her lip. “You haven’t told me anything about yourself.”

“The less you know, the better this arrangement works out.” Ashton whispered, pulling Lacey’s body closer to his.

“I still want to know you, daddy.” Lacey hummed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Not a chance.” Ashton smirked, pressing his lips to hers.

“You know, I’ve always fantasized about being fucked over a desk.” Lacey whispered, her lips brushing against Ashton’s. Ashton growled lowly and spun her around, pressing her down against the desk.

“Making you wear a skirt was the best decision I ever made.” Ashton smirked, flipping Lacey’s skirt over her ass. Lacey giggled quietly and wiggled her ass. “Hey,” Ashton sent a spank to her cheek. “Hold still, baby girl.”

“Sorry, daddy.” Lacey bit her lip as Ashton pulled her thong down.

“You will be.” Ashton smirked, rubbing his fingers along her slit and coating them in her juices.

“Please, daddy, give me your cock.” Lacey whimpered.

“So needy.” Ashton hummed, pushing his jeans and boxers down enough to free his throbbing cock. Lacey let out a strangled moan as Ashton pushed himself into her, filling her completely.

“Oh, God, fuck.” Lacey moaned, gripping the edge of the desk. Ashton gripped her hips, his fingers digging into her skin. His hips slammed into hers, his cock hitting every right spot.

“Shit, you’re so tight.” Ashton grunted, his hips stuttering. Lacey moaned out his name as his fingers found her clit.

“Yes, yes, just like that.” Lacey gasped, her walls clenching around his cock.

“Cum for daddy.” Ashton groaned lowly. Lacey squeezed her eyes shut as her orgasm washed over her, Ashton’s name falling from her lips louder. Ashton brought his hand to her mouth. “Shh, baby girl.” Ashton chuckled, his hips continuing to slam into hers. Lacey moaned against his hand as her thighs shook. “That’s my good girl.” Ashton grunted as he released, his load coating her walls.

“Fuck, daddy.” Lacey hummed, letting go of the desk. Ashton pulled out and fixed his pants.

“Fix yourself and get back to work.” Ashton said, watching as Lacey pulled up her thong and fixed her skirt. Lacey pressed a kiss to his cheek before walking out of the office and back to the bar.

“You done?” Calum asked, coming in to the office. “You know, I think there’s rules against fucking your employees.”

“I own this place, and I say I’ll fuck whoever I want.” Ashton rolled his eyes playfully. “What do you need?”

“Well, $2000 is missing from the deposit.” Calum said, sitting next to Ashton at the desk.

“What?” Ashton spun around in his chair to look at him.

“I checked this morning and exactly $2000 was missing.” Calum said, showing Ashton the deposit.

“The only people who have access to the deposit are us and Bill.” Ashton said, staring down Calum.

“I know. I already talked to Luke and Michael and neither of them touched it. I trust them.” Calum sighed.

“What would Bill want with our money?” Ashton crossed his arms. “We already pay him more than enough.”

“Ash, Bill also works for Shane.” Calum glanced up at Ashton, almost scared to see his face.

“Goddammit.” Ashton groaned, slamming his fist down on the desk. “How much do you wanna bet Shane paid Bill to fucking rob us?”

“I’m not surprised. Shane is so threatened by you.” Calum rolled his eyes.

“If Bill is working for both of us, that means no one is safe.” Ashton said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Hey, don’t worry about that. Let me worry about that.” Calum sighed and Ashton stood up.

“This is bullshit.” He shook his head and walked out.

Lacey was getting the hang of serving the customers. She carried a tray over to a table of older guys, most of them drunk off the first round of beers. Lacey set down each plate of burgers and fries before tucking the tray under her arm. “Anything else I can get for y’all?” She smiled at them.

“Could use a little extra piece of you on this burger?” One smirked at her, his clearly fake teeth making her stomach sink.

“Sorry, but I’m not on the menu.” Lacey said, forcing her smile to stay unfaltering.

“I think you can make an exception.” He chuckled, his knuckles nudging her thighs.

“You can’t order what’s not on the menu. Restaurant policy.” Lacey pursed her lips and turned to walk away. She started to walk away, but stopped in her tracks when she felt a stinging sensation run through the flesh of her ass and through her spine. Ashton nearly threw himself over the bar. The glass in his hand fell to the ground, shattering against the linoleum.

“Go back to the bar.” He told Lacey sternly, gently nudging her toward the bar. Lacey knew better than to disobey and quickly made her way to the bar while Ashton stood in front of the group of men. “Hi there, I’m the owner of this establishment and I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“We just got our food, why would we be leaving?” The offender looked up at Ashton.

“Well, I just saw you slap the ass of one of my employees, and I don’t take kindly to men feeling entitled to women’s bodies.” Ashton’s arms crossed over his chest.

“Come on, mate. You can’t tell me you haven’t wanted to get a piece of that ass.”

“I’m not going to ask you again. I do have a gun, and if you make me ask again, I will use it.” Ashton said, brushing his leather jacket aside and flashing his gun. The group stood up quickly, rushing out of the bar. Ashton ran his fingers through his hair, messing up his styled curls. He walked back to the bar and stood in front of Lacey. “If you need to sit in the back and take a minute, please do.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, though. I’m actually used to this.” Lacey shook her head. “I just want to get through this shift and then go to dinner with you, and then go home and pass the fuck out.”

“Tell you what, as soon as Luke gets here, we’ll skedaddle.” Ashton pressed a soft kiss to the top of Lacey’s head. “You sure, you don’t want a break?”

“Yes, daddy, I’m fine.” Lacey giggled softly and walked to another table. Ashton shook his head and walked into the back.

“Just received a complaint. Did you pull a gun on patrons?” Calum crossed his arms and looked at Ashton.

“I threatened to, but I didn’t.” Ashton sat down at the desk.

“You can’t do that, Ashton. That’s how we lose customers.” Calum rolled his eyes.

“It’s not like I pull a gun on every customer. That guy slapped Lacey’s ass and I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.”

“Is daddy getting possessive?” Calum teased, pinching Ashton’s cheek.

“Fuck off, mate. I’m serious.” Ashton sighed, slapping Calum’s hand away.

“I’m serious, too. You’re developing feelings for your sugar baby.” Calum said, leaning back in his chair.

“Did you know that every woman I know has a story like what I saw happen to Lacey? My mum has, my baby sister has, all past relationships have.”

“My mum and sister have, too.” Calum sighed. “But, you can’t change that. Not by yourself.”

“I know, and I hate it.” Ashton sighed, rubbing the palms of his hands against his eyes.

“Hey, is the air broken in here again?” Luke asked as he walked into the back office, shoving his phone, wallet, and keys into a locker.

“Yeah, Rami hasn’t been in to fix it.” Ashton sighed, getting up. “I’m taking Lacey out, so it’s just you two tonight. Call Mike if you need extra help.”

“Gonna go smooch your sugar baby?” Calum teased.

“Ashton’s fucking the new girl?” Luke asked, leaning against the desk.

“They did it today on the desk you’re currently leaning on.” Calum said, laughing as Luke launched himself off the desk.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Luke looked down at Ashton. “You couldn’t keep it in your pants while at work?”

“Hey, I own this place.” Ashton chuckled and grabbed his phone and wallet from off the desk. “I’m leaving now. Goodbye.” He smirked and walked out to the front. “You ready, baby?” Ashton asked, looking at Lacey.

“Yes, I’m starving.” Lacey smiled, pulling her apron off and hanging it up. Ashton walked out to the alley, Lacey following him. Ashton pulled open the door of his Range Rover, pressing a soft kiss to Lacey’s lips as she got in the car. He got in and furrowed his eyebrows as he noticed a flash coming around the alley. “What was that?” Lacey asked, looking at Ashton.

“I don’t know.” He pulled the car down the alley, watching as a blue Impala sped down the street away from them. Ashton sighed and drove down the street, parking in front of the restaurant. He wrapped his arm around her lower back as he walked her inside the restaurant. They sat in silence for some time, before Lacey finally spoke up.

“You got any siblings?” She raised an eyebrow at him and took a sip of her wine.

“I do, actually. A younger sister and a younger brother. Haven’t seen them in years.” Ashton sighed softly, shoving a breadstick in his mouth. “You?”

“I have too many siblings. Two older brothers, an older sister, two younger sisters, and a younger brother.”

“So, you’re the middle.” Ashton smirked. “Did you like having a big family?”

“I loved it. I would love to have a large family of my own.” Lacey smiled. “I actually lost one of my older brothers and my younger brother in the military, though. Aiden was hit by a landmine, and Carter’s submarine was hit by a torpedo and they all drown.” Ashton almost choked on his water.

“I’m so sorry.” He grabbed her hand, squeezing gently.

“I was pretty young when Aiden was hit, but I still remember receiving the phone call about Carter. It was my second year of college and I was far from home, so I couldn’t even be with my family.” Tears filled her eyes, but she pushed them back.

“Can I ask why you left home?” Ashton asked, lacing his fingers with hers.

“Yeah, uh, I’m from Kentucky. Middle of nowhere, really. I just felt like my hometown wasn’t letting me grow as a person, and I needed to get out. So, I only applied to colleges out of state and I got my Bachelor’s from Salem State University, and now I’m here.” She shrugged, sniffing slightly.

“When was the last time you were home?”

“Carter’s funeral.” Lacey sighed. “I hardly had the strength to go back for that, and I don’t think I could do it now.”

“I know how that feels.” Ashton sighed, his fingers playing with hers. When their food came, they ate in a comfortable silence.

“Why’d you leave Australia to own a bar?” Lacey asked as they walked down the street to the car. Ashton’s hand was in hers, gently swinging back and forth.

“Kind of like you. Felt like I was being suffocated back home. My uncle actually owned the bar before me, but he left it to me when he passed. I felt like running it would give me a sort of purpose, so I left.” He shrugged, opening the car door for Lacey. She got in and sat on her seat so her legs were hanging out of the car.

“Would you ever go back?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Maybe. I’d have to have a pretty good reason to go. My mum told me when I left that if I didn’t have a good reason to come home, that I should just stay here. And, I think I have a pretty good reason now to stay.” Ashton smiled, pressing his lips to hers gently.

Tag list: @lukescherrypie @calumculture @kinglycalum @babylon-corgis @novacanecalum @lfwallscouldtalk @dontdoitluke @isabella10028 @calumamongmen @dukesnumber1 @lockthisheartinchains @bitterbethany @sublimehood @myloverboyash @ironicallyirwin @lashtoncurls @calsophat @empathycth @burncrashbromance @dukesnumber1 @wildhearthood @network5sos

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[artificialqueens]

Until the Flavor's Gone (16/?) (Biadore) - Kitschy Pixel

A/N: So. It’s been awhile, hey there, hi there, and hello. Now, here’s the deal of what is going down. This is not the original chapter 16 that I planned to give you guys and this chapter was not the chapter that I’ve been laboriously toiling away at for… an ungoldly number of months.

What happened was, the original chapter 16 was starting to climb into the 20 page mark. So for the sake of just about everyone, I had to split it up, and for the sake of giving you guys an update – I’m posting it now and I think I can promise you guys that you won’t be waiting another seven months for chapter 17. I hope you all can forgive me. Feel free to wander to my sideblog @kitschypixel and let me hear about it.

In this chapter, Danny deals with where they are now, Roy texts the wrong person, and Shane becomes the only audience to the mess that’s on the horizon – for now.

Warnings for language, sexually suggestive text messages, excessive alcoholism, and everyone’s a tease. Including me.

Chapter 16

In the months following Danny’s return from New York, he and Roy barely spoke. Danny blamed a busy schedule, but there was an inexplicable bitterness that still clung onto his chest that he didn’t want to acknowledge. They’d left on good terms, he reasoned, so it shouldn’t be there.

“It’s that one rejection,” Shane remarked off hand as Danny reclined on his couch and tried to describe said feeling to someone who wasn’t himself, “Not to say that you’re the type to be mad at someone for saying ‘no’ to sex, it’s just the principle of the thing. You’re used to him giving you what you want…”

“Thanks a lot, Jiminy,” Danny drawled out, scowling a little at the thought, “So why do I still care? I mean… we talked about the whole thing. It should be good now.”

“First of all, that wasn’t a moral judgement, so that doesn’t make me your conscience. But, if we’re going to bring it up, I am far more qualified to be one than a cricket – who was horrible at his job to begin with, I might add! – and, my dear Danny, you don’t actually need me to explain to you why you still care, because you already know. You just don’t want to admit just how much you still crave his approval because that’s scary.”

“And you say you’d a better conscience than Jiminy…”

“I would be! Have you even watched that movie? Jiminy was promoted to conscience simply by being at the right place and the right time. Also? I’m right. You just need to listen to me better.”

“I don’t have anything to prove to him.”

“And you are absolutely right, now you just got to believe that.”

Danny started singing When You Wish Upon a Star in response, mumbling over the words that he didn’t know, laughing at Shane’s glare in his direction all the while. The song dissolved into a mess of giggles and Danny curled up on his side, staring off into space for a minute before he pressed his lips together in a tight line.

“You think he’s dating that guy who keeps popping up in his feed?”

“Oh, totally. They are definitely fucking…” Shane tilted his head tapping his fingers against the arm of the chair. “You okay with that?”

“Honestly?” Danny hummed and pressed his fingers to his lip, a ghost of a smile dancing there before he turned back to Shane. “I really am. I mean… good for him, you know?” He waited a moment to see if that bitterness moved from his chest to bleed into what he was saying. There was a slight sense of relief when it didn’t. “Hey… if he can find someone, there’s hope for me, right?”

“There’s hope for us all!” Shane held his arms out wide in a dramatic gesture before grinning and settling back into his seat with a wistful sigh, crinkling his nose a little at nothing in particular. “Is it bad taste to start a betting pool on how long this is going to last?”

“Yup. How much do you have in it?”

“Ten.”

“Twenty.”

“High roller.”

“Let Courtney make out with me on camera in a hot tub and you could be too.”

Shane snorted before he reached over to search for his drink. “Is that your master plan? Peddle thinly veiled soft core lesbian porn as a music video for popularity?”

Danny grinned a bit, “Why not? It worked for Britney and Madonna,” he quipped before he crawled over to the side of the couch that was closer to where Shane was sitting, eyes wide and pout ready. “And it’ll only work if you say ye~es…” He cocked his head to the side and offered a wide grin, “ Come on, You know you want to be a skank with me.”

Shane tapped his chin with a thoughtful expression and his eyes twinkled with mischief before he hummed, “Is it going to be tasteful?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then I’m in!”

–––––––––––––––––––––

The first text Danny got from Roy was about a week after Jump the Gun made its debut on Youtube, and he was about 90% sure that it wasn’t meant for him.

I’m fucking you so hard when I get there, you asshole.

Maybe 98%. Either way, he was not about to let the opportunity to give Roy shit for something pass, so he carefully considered his response before finally typing out,

Wow. Promise? Let me buy a ticket real quick and I’ll meet you.

There was a predictably long pause and Danny continued to check his phone periodically for the inevitable response. He was getting caught up in a vortex of Youtube hell when his phone finally buzzed beside him. He smirked at the reply.

That wasn’t for you.

Simplistic, definitive, and without further explanation – classic and in no way acceptable. He knew Roy knew it too, because there was a long sigh when Roy answered the follow-up phone call.

“You could have just texted me.”

“And miss hearing your sex voice? No chance in hell,” Danny grinned at the cracks in Roy’s softer than normal words, “Is he still there?”

“No. He just left.”

“Damn. No cuddle clause in your dating arrangements either?”

“Fuck off, we both have work in the morning,” the finality in his voice meant that Danny would have to try a lot harder than usual to pry anything further from him on that particular subject, so he opted not to try tonight. Instead, he let Roy take the lead. “So what’d you need?”

“Nothing, really,” Danny admitted, “Just needed to give you shit. Why does he get dirty text messages and not me?”

“We’re dating.”

“Rude. Does he get all your best dick pics too?” Danny laughed at the repeated ‘fuck off’ before he set his laptop aside to pick at the pilling on his sheets like some nervous school girl. He chewed on his lip before he finally spoke up again, “You know… I kind of missed hearing from you,” he managed. That bitter feeling, the one he’d been toting since he got back home, began to squirm a little, making his heart jump a few times. There was a pause and Danny waited anxiously for some kind of response to fill in the silent spaces. There was an uplifting hitch in the sigh that followed – a kind of half formed chuckle let out in a breath.

“Yeah,” he croaked before clearing his throat, “Shut up,” he remarked, cutting off Danny’s snickering, “Things kind of got… serious. Sorry.”

Danny bit back the snarky ‘no shit’ and kept the flippant ‘I figured’ from rolling off his tongue. Instead, he replied with a blissful, “Don’t be. You actually look happy.”

“And what about you?”

“Me? I’m…” A small smile started to curl as Danny pressed his lips together. He could feel his cheeks burn, which was a bit absurd, but no one was around to see it so he didn’t really care. “Can I get back to you on that?” His voice had pitched higher towards the end and he felt a bit giddy.

“Mmmhm… yeah, sure. Just enjoy yourself, kid.”

“Oh gross, don’t do that. It makes you sound old.”

The serenity broke with a cackle and Danny could hear the smile through the phone, “Fucking bitch.”

They chatted lightly before the conversation slowly petered out and left them with nothing left than to say ‘goodbye’. When they hung up, Danny shifted a few time, pressing his fingers just below his sternum to settle the butterflies that began to rustle around in his gut as he stared at his phone and opened up a freshly saved contact from the other night.

–––––––––––––––––––––

It was easy to talk to Roy when everything was fine. They didn’t talk everyday (they didn’t have time) but when they did it was nice. It was normal.

When things became decidedly less fine and then spiraled down into absolutely miserable for Danny, talking to Roy wasn’t easy anymore. In fact, Danny found it downright agonizing. That leftover bit of bitterness that held onto his chest for months – the one that didn’t grow or begin to bite, just sat there benign but incredibly present – felt like it had lumped and hardened. He’d stopped following him on social media. Just for now. So it wouldn’t get worse and turn to jealousy as he saw Roy still be happy.

Hey, are you okay?

Danny hadn’t replied for fear of lying – or worse, telling the absolute truth and having Roy try desperately to turn it into a joke to make him smile. Instead, he clung to Shane in some kind of blind desperation to stay emotionally afloat. So far, it was allowed and led to Danny, curled up pathetically on Shane’s couch, consistently losing track of the drink that he never put down to begin with.

But Shane was beginning to start to grow a little weary from playing babysitter as he watched his friend stumble from the casual drinking, into the deeper the pits of alcoholism and whatever else Danny was finding comfort in these days. Don’t judge, he reminded himself, you’re not his moral compass. This had become his mantra whenever they spent time together.

He nudged Danny with his foot to see if he’d passed out yet. There was a drowsy ‘mmmm?’ in response.

“You know, he’s been asking me about you. He almost seems worried. It’s… weird.”

“Who?” Danny muttered as he tried to blink himself into some kind of semblance of consciousness.

“Your long distance husband.”

“Ugh…” He would have rolled his eyes if the thought of it hadn’t made him feel dizzy. “Shut up… we never acted married.”

“By whose definition?” Shane challenged. It wasn’t fair. Danny was at least six drinks ahead of Shane, which made it harder for him to argue. He settled on a weak ‘we didn’t’ as he tried to throw a decorative pillow at Shane and missed. Shane stared at the offending pillow for a minute before picking it up and holding it to his chest, looking thoughtful as he replied, “Well I would say ‘dad’… but given your history, that’s a bit gross.”

Danny erupted in what was probably his first giggle fit of the evening as he scrunched up his face and exclaimed a long, drawn out ‘ewwww’ and Shane replied in kind with a grimace, “Though I suppose making the comparison of spouse and parent similar is concerning within itself….”

“Oh my god, shut up…” Danny groaned as Shane quipped something about if Roy were there, he’d make a joke about it being kinky. He mimed gagging before waving his arms to try to get Shane to cease talking. “Ugh! No! All of that! No to all fucking that!” Danny flopped back and pressed his palms into his eyes, thinking the conversation was over before it was finally placed back on the tracks it’d derailed from when Shane quietly asked,

“So what do I tell him?”

“Huh?” Danny squinted a little as he tried to remember what they were talking about before he sighed heavily and rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling, “Oh… right… fuck.” He wiped his hand across his eyes before waving the whole thing off. “I’m fine.”

With a quiet, ‘right, okay’, Shane let the subject drop. His hands fidgeted for a moment before he finally picked up his phone, the wheels turning in his head a fraction slower, but still enough for him to start a plan.

I think I’m going to need your help soon.

He hit send and waited, tapping short nails on the back of his phone as he watched Danny just curl up on himself, trying to cocoon into his jacket without much luck. The minutes rolled by before finally, there was a reply.

What’s going on?

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #204

“welcome to the gospel of dismay.”

Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? I don't believe so. What has been bothering you a lot lately? Just job stuff... My VR coach and I are having difficulty finding something suitable for me (or something I'm even qualified for) to the point it's looking like I have no choice but to reach out of my comfort zone quite a bit. Thankfully, whatever I do, she goes to work with me and my case isn't closed until I feel totally comfortable at the job, but I just don't want to hop around five times until I find something that fits. I'm just ready to be settled into a job that's not torture for me. What (or who) have you been missing lately? I've been missing Sara really, really badly. My friend Alex, too. It's seemed lately that I only matter when she wants to talk, solely about her boyfriend. As for what, motivation... It's been running low low low lately. Miss having the drive to write like I used to. Miss hobbies. I miss doing things. Are you trustworthy? Yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? In few situations, such as not to hurt other's feelings. Have you ever hallucinated? When coming off of a medication, yes. I saw moving shadows. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open. Roman would neeeever let me sleep with it closed, but even then, I prefer not to have it closed. My mom sleeps right outside my room on the couch, and even though we're sleeping, it gives me a natural sense of security to be able to see her. I'm such an infant. By God, do I need to loosen up on my attachment to her. What flags do you have in your room, if any? None. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Recovery is the best thing, as for who, Sara. Although in some ways you could say Jason just because of how he changed me to an incredible degree and brought about the development of a lot of strength and less naivety, plus a LOT of self-discovery. I guess it depends on how you look at the question. What is the worst decision you ever made? Essentially turning Jason into a god. Letting my life depend on him loving me. Do you miss college? Jfc, I miss school PERIOD. I don't need to give the sob story about how I'm like a prisoner to my house again and how I don't really have friends. I miss having a purpose, and I neeeeed to be exposed to strangers again for social exercise, as well as hopefully to make friends. I just want something to do and work towards my career. I stg my fucking old college better get their shit together so I can go next semester. I will actually lose my shit otherwise. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? I think I have by accident before. I still call an old teacher that's now a family friend "2nd Mom" sometimes. What is your favorite arcade game? Idk what are "normal" ones. Oh, well, do crane machines count? So rigged, but they're fun. Do you feel neglected? No, for the most part. Those most important in my life are doing everything to make sure I can handle the "real" world one day. What school subject(s) are/were your best? English, art, and science. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don't have any. What season is your birthday in? Winter. Name 3 creative people you know. Sara, Connie, and Emma to name just a few. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Markiplier for work ethic, creativity, compassion, wisdom, determination, etc. etc. etfuckingc., Shane Dawson for kindness, aaaaand uhhhh Arin Hanson for how down-to-earth and chill he is behind his goofy exterior. What color was your first car? Haven't had my first one yet. What year did you graduate? 2014. When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? Not since early February. Have you ever been scammed? Ummmm idk, maybe? Are you allergic to pollen? Yes. What style of wedding dress do you like best? Ballgown. Are you over your first love? Yes. Do you talk on the phone a lot? No. Would you rather call or text? Text, big time. Do you always answer your phone? Most times. When was the last time you went to a party? Nicole didn't really have a "party," nor did Sara, so technically my nephew's birthday in August. What was the last thing you ate? A bagel. What’s the last book you checked out from the library? I couldn't tell you. Do you have a twitter? Yeah, but I post nothing. It only exists to like Mark's shit lmao. If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? ^ Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom. What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs eons ago. What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? Hot pink. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Alex. Who sent the last e-mail you got? Mad Ethel's tattoo parlor. I was talking with them about enhancing my tat I got in tribute to Mark; I don't think it looks spacey enough at all, so I'm going to a more professional artist. I mean I like what it is now, but I want to love it. I got a price estimate, aaand it's probably gonna be a while. What song is currently stuck in your head? "Legs Up" by Jeffree Star bye I'mma go jump off a bridge. Do you have a favorite shape? Of basic shapes, circles. What color are the sheets on your bed? White, which I hate; between Roman and Teddy, you can tell it needs to be changed desperately. What time do you usually go to bed? It can range from very rarely as early as 7:00 (I have to be having a baaaaad day) to as late as midnight. Yeah. Do you ever use coloring books? Not anymore. Are you planning on watching the Olympics? I never do. Do you pronounce the word "often" with or without a "t" in the middle? With. Have you ever been on a trapeze? No. Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? Omfg GIMME. Are there any waterfalls near where you live? No. Do you like seafood? No, solely shrimp prepared in certain ways. Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? In middle school. Then at my two jobs. If so, what did it look like? Middle school was khaki pants with plain tops of only certain colors, like white or light blue (those may have been the only options, even). I don't remember the work ones, I was there so briefly. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? No. Do you own a Polaroid camera? No. Do you enjoy baking? I don't enjoy cooking period. What’s your favorite type of flower? Orchids. Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? Back home from Illinois. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Sara. What is something you think is underrated? Hm. Probably certain shows or movies that aren't coming to mind. Ah, "The Cat in the Hat" with Mike Myers is certainly one for me. It's such a meme that it's awful, but I love that movie. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Like 65*F. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I BETTER have a stable job. How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? Not often at all. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? Sigh, reading. That hobby died at the hospital, when all I had to do was read and color all day every day because the mental institutions here are godawful. I really do miss reading. What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? Ha. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Just the normal spicy kind. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? I don’t have a car. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? Michigan. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, here in NC. West? Illinois. How often do you run the dishwasher? We don't have one. Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? Sink. Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. I have no desire for kids, I hate shopping, I have no interest in fashion... Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. I still don't want kids/don't have any kids. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Not really, but I suppose you could say my late grampa's old "cowboy" hat with feather tassels hanging on the wall is? It's aaaalways been on the walls in all our houses. Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? I dunno. I don't use any. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? Mom majors in social work; Dad never went. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? No. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't remember. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? Idr. How old were you when you learned how to swim? Again, idr. How do you react when someone is rude to you? I get really embarrassed for whatever reason and also verbally impulsive; you don't know what's gonna come out of my mouth. Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? No, but then again, I don't know if "too clingy" exists for me. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? It's too goddamn hot and humid as FUCK and all the insects are out. Do you have a Netflix account? Yes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? Honestly, I can't even tell you. I've been on so, so few vacations, and those I have are almost exclusively to the beach, which I don't like. How long does it take to get there? The beach is ~2+ hours depending on which one we're going to. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? When I fully let Jason go, I guess. I don't think I've had a massive change since then. What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I never go into my sister's old room. What is the last random act of kindness you did? Don't drag me for playing WoW please okay. But anyway me and another player were heading to an old raid, and I flew to the spawn point of an incredibly rare mob that drops a mount to see if it was up; he was, and the guy was super thankful I checked for him (I already had it, so it wasn't for my own benefit). Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? I do the opposite, really... as much as I hate that. I learned to finally keep the lights on in the room I'm in to combat depression, and after finding that it truly works well (if you have depression, seriously, LIGHT THAT ROOM UP), if it's even SLIGHTLY darker without it, that ceiling light's going on. Then at night, Mom likes me to keep the living room light on so it looks like more people are home (it's for safety). Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Nooooooo. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? I LAAAAAAAAAHV them! Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? "I’ve had sex dreams but they weren’t kinky." <<<<<<<<<< Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? I have been craaaazy about Caleb Hyles covers lately. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? Yes. That's when I finally ended the "thing" with Joel, I think. If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? If it's something I actually wrote instead of something I shared (which is almost exclusively what I do), I get really self-conscious and automatically embarrassed because my head screams "NOBODY CARES." Which friend do you confide in most? Easily Sara. Do you wear a cross? No. What is your opinion on Arby's? Ew. When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? I don't know. Haven't really thought about it, and besides, I think it'd depend on the layout. What is your favorite doughnut? Glazed. Closely followed by classic/cake. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? HA bitch we're poor. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? Didn't read the books or watch the movies. What is your favorite party game? Mario Kart. Do you or your parents rake your yard? No. Were you pro-Obama? I was indifferent considering I didn't know enough about him. What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? *shrugs* What was the last illegal thing you did? Downloaded music. Who did you last go to the movies with? Ummm... Mom, I think? What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Do you have any family members in the military right now? No. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? No. When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Like... every day for a long, long time now. I just want to have a job or be in school. I want to make progress towards a successful future. I know that's an extremely unhealthy desire to want to zoom through each day, but it's hard to cherish every, identical day lately. Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? No. Have you ever heard voices? Audibly? I don't think so. Do you believe in angels and demons? I don't really know. I know there's life after death, but like, I don't know if your soul is "categorized." Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? I can't really get into that as I don't know the full story... Dad was good friends with them, but Mom got along with them too, and came divorce time, they turned evil to Mom. I don't know things that were said. Did your Barbies go on dates? I don't remember. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. She's the one who talked me through the revelation. Where did you meet your first crush? We went to the same school. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? No. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah. Who is your favorite little girl? My niece. What do you want the most in life? Happiness. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? Letting Jason become everything. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? I wonder quite a bit who I'd be if the breakup never happened. When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? No. Even when someone is home, I keep it cracked so it doesn't get so humid. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Uhhhhh would any female not choose Amy Lee. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, rock, indie. Where did you buy your dishes from? I have NO idea. We've had the same fancy-ish dishes my entire life. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? In my lifetime, no. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? I have no clue. What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? I also don't know. Have you ever been on a ship? No, just boats. Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? I'd have to think way too long on this. ACTUALLY. Maybe the Cheshire cat, off the top of my head. What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? None. Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? Yeah. What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? ACTUALLY fuck off. Coming from someone who is overweight, get out of here with that shit. Don't normalize an unhealthy body. Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? Uh, other than in a sexual context, I don't think so, no. WAIT NO I bit my sister's back so hard as a kid that she bled, so probably. Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) Well read above. Ever gave one? Yeah. Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? I'm shy as fuck. Do you think it's weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? If you do think it is, I want nothing to do with your ass. It's 2019. Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? More than words can explain. My awkwardness, stuttering, lack of comfort with eye contact, and my body. Are you flirty at all? In certain instances with an s/o. Are you racist at all? No. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) It depends on the disability. With my own issues, I need to be able to handle theirs. If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? Call the police. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? If I was to have kids, I'd rather them be my own or wife's if I'm with a woman. But again, I don't want kids period. What would you class as cheating on someone? As soon as you're hiding shit regarding another person from your partner. Do you try to be politically correct? Only to a certain degree. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? That's hard. I love seahorses, sea turtles, jellyfish, dolphins, whales... Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? I don't think so. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Studs. Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? It wasn't humiliating, at least back then when I had a healthy body. I have mixed emotions about its mandatory status... Like, exercise should absolutely be encouraged, but P.E. classes tend to be entirely inflexible in regards to accommodating different people's limits and conditions. Do you recycle? Sadly no. We have to drive to the dump in order to, and Mom got tired of it. Are you interested in current world issues? Not even nearly as much as I should. Do you think you are mature, or immature? It depends on the situation. What kind of career are you interested in? It'd be great if I could survive just off of photography, but odds are I won't be able to. So I'm trying to go back to college and major in zoology to be an out-on-the-field zoologist. Do you own a pair of sunglasses? No. Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? None; my hair is really short. When it was long, I used hair ties. How badly do you get acne? (If at all) I don't anymore, just the occasional pimple usually around that time of the month. What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? YOU ARE ASKING THE WRONG PERSON. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? For those who don't know me thoroughly, I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if someone thought I was a lazy freeloader going nowhere. I feel like most people think that anyway because I'm going through hell to get a job, don't have friends, and am not back in school yet. How many text messages do you have in your inbox atm? No unread ones. When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? Last week or so when I deeply debated on whether or not to get rid of Kaiju (my juvenile don't-touch-me iguana). In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? Math and economics. Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? No. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? I believe that was my VR coach? Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? My old high school friend Robert. This dude's working at NASA while I'm at home every day at my laptop. I'm an adult. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My mom. What does your handwriting look like? It's a mix of (mostly) cursive and print, and I'm usually told it's "too" fancy and hard to read. Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? No. Who were your best friends in primary school? Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Do you still speak to any of them? No. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a drink. I don't remember the last time I used one. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? Maybe Vans? Are you more masculine or feminine? Idk. If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? Idk. Rainbow meerkat pawprints going up in a spiral around the cup? First thing that came to mind. What is the best beach you’ve been to? I've only been to two (I think), and I don't care enough about beaches or remember well enough to answer this. What is one thing you physically can’t do? There is no way in Heaven or Hell I could clean up vomit without hurling myself. Have you ever been to a funeral? Yes. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? No. Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? No. What is your favorite park? Disney World, of course. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you chew gum regularly? No. Where did you go on your first train ride? N/A Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? Most likely. What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) None, really. I grew up automatically biased to the Carolina Hurricanes in hockey thanks to Dad, but I don't actually care. Do you dunk your cookies in milk? Oreos, preferably. Others, sometimes. What is something you are confident about? My knowledge of meerkats. Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? I don't really know if this "counts" as it was the product of severe anxiety over vomiting, but in middle school, I would constantly think I was going to be sick and took one Peptobismol literally everyday at school, usually in I think second period when my anxiety was bad enough. It finally ended when we ran out and I had to go without it and I saw I was okay. I was so happy when that shit ended. How do you feel about needles? Eh. The feeling is obviously unpleasant, but they don't bother me much; not at all for tattoos. Getting shots or blood drawn is a bit more "ew" because of the needle's length. But anyway, in general, needles are okay. What is your favorite accent to listen to? Maybe French for women, British for men. Or British for both, idk. What was the reason you last got dressed up? Went job hunting with my VR coach. Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? Not really cruel, no. ^ What were they? N/A Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? A bit loose. ^ What about on your preferred gender? I like both men and women, so. I tend to like more form-fitting on women and looser on men. Maybe. Idk actually. But pants. Give me skinny jeans on everyone. What do you do when you are really, really mad? Be WAY too impulsive about what comes out of my mouth. And I cry. Would you rather go naked than wear fur? Omfg don't do this. I guess wear fur. I hate my body too much. But I'd feel absolutely godawful. Do you put a line through your 7's? Yes. ^ What about your Z's? Yes. What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? More than anything else, rape. Are you able to forgive and forget? It's rare I'm unable to forgive, but forget? Nope. Do you like cold pizza? Yeah. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Kiwi, too. What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? Peach/mango mix. Do you like broccoli and cheese? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. What about potatoes and cheese? Yeah. Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? Not lately. Toaster or toaster oven? I've only ever had a toaster oven. I like how you can see if something is starting to burn, anyway. What are you most known for? Likes meerkats more than she likes 99% of the human population. I keep my worship of Mark Fischfuckface on the down low irl so meerkats win overall. Do you have any reputations? What are they? I don't think so. Do you wear band shirts? Yeah. ^ What band was on the last one you wore? Uh... shit. I think Metallica? It's rare I have to put on "real" clothes now (yes, I stay in pjs all day bc I never leave the house), so idrk. Do you own any hats? Describe them. No. What about masks, you got any? Describe those. No. What was the last thing to leave you speechless? Watching the spire of the Cathedral collapse yesterday. That whole thing broke my heart. I know the serious valuables were saved, but still, there was so much damage to 800 years of incredible art and history. Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? I have like... one irl, serious friend. They both love him. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes. As if she wasn't an awful one. Describe your favorite pair of socks. They're covered in meerkats. :'D Thanks, big sister. Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? No. Have any self-done piercings? No, not doing that shit. I'm too serious about piercings being done well and in the most hygienic manner. Ever pierced someone else? No, for the same reasons as above. Do you get distracted easily? Holy shit, yes. Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? It's anxiety-inducing as hell. How do you feel about getting new neighbors? Idc. How many ceiling fans are in your home? None. Do you tweet your life away? I don't use it. How do you feel about shameless self promoting? Ever since actually trying to get out in the freelance photography world, I get it, as uncomfortable as it is. HOWEVER, there are absolutely places where doing it is inappropriate. When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? Yeah. What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? Yeah.

[pedalfuzz]

2018 Pedal Fuzz Favorites

Contributors from Pedal Fuzz have weighed in on their favorite albums of 2018. there was (thankfully) no shortage of excellent music released this year. We hope you give these artists a listen, a share, and maybe even smash that ‘buy’ button on Bandcamp or at the counter of your local record store.

***note***these are listed in order they were sent to the editor

Dustin K. Britt

Al Riggs, WE'RE SAFE BUT FOR HOW LONG

David Byrne, AMERICAN UTOPIA

Father John Misty, GOD'S FAVORITE CUSTOMER

Florence + The Machine, HIGH AS HOPE

Gorillaz, THE NOW NOW

Janelle Monae, DIRTY COMPUTER

Mary Lattimore, HUNDREDS OF DAYS

Neko Case, HELL-ON

Sarah Shook & The Disarmers, YEARS

Troye Sivan, BLOOM

Jon Foster

The Nels Cline 4 – Currents, Constellations – Nels Cline is one of those figures that’s always been on my peripheral. His name has floated around progressive independent music for decades. His association with Wilco didn’t cause me to go through his discography. This record just popped up this year, a little promotion from a devotee helped a lot. Seeing him play at Big Ears this past year solidified my interest.

 Currents, Constellations is fascinating, the interplay between Nels and technical wizard Julian Lage keeps pushing the music forward, sometimes noisy and sometimes jazz freak-out. It’s a perfect gateway record, not all the way jazz and not all the way progressive rock. After listening to the record for a few weeks I ordered the last two Lage records and a couple Cline ones. Julian Lage’s Modern Lore is also on my best of 2018 list.

 Similar Fashion – Portrait Of – I don’t know anything about this band. I don’t know where they come from. I have no context other than a simple post from the producer, John Dietrich of Deerhoof fame. Just that last bit of information caused me to click on the link, a task any music fan can do dozens of times in a day when the music is in front of you all the time. Another Bandcamp link, nah…I’ll pass.

 Thankfully I clicked on the link and heard a record I immediately loved. It was energetic and progressive, a little silly even. How many records reference the TV show, Scandal? One thread going through the record is this quasi-Raymond Scott feel. He’s the guy who wrote a lot of music for Looney Toons, and I love him. Imagine Bugs Bunny chasing Foghorn Leghorn through a forest while a small group of music majors raised on jazz and rock and roll score it. The best songs on the record are full of exuberance and sugared up energy.

  Oh Sees – Smote Reverser – Oh Sees have a lot of records. They might have too many records. Because they have so many records it becomes difficult to get excited about a new one. Although I listen to all of their new records I don’t buy them automatically. I feel like I need to sample them. Recently they’ve been going through this tour of the outer fringes of rock and roll subgenres. You know, last year’s record was the folk record with psychedelic touches. They’ve done the garage record with psychedelic touches. Smote Reverser is their early 70’s hard rock record with psychedelic touches.

 When trying to describe the record, I feel like I have nothing positive to say about it. At the core there’s the usual really loud Dwyer leads over the top of everything. You know they’re coming, they’re always there, it should be an annoying cliché but they sound so good. His tone is delicious. Mix in dueling drums and an interest in letting songs unfold for no particular reason, and it’s a record to fall into.

Palberta – Roach Goin’ Down – This is a punk record. It’s ragged and personal and it feels like it could fall apart at any moment. Sometimes I think the musicians are superb players, while on other songs I feel like it’s the first day of them playing their instruments. The songs are short blasts of postpunk joy that could have been made in 1980.

 While I’m enthralled with this record, and enjoyed them immensely when I saw them live in Raleigh, I worry about them. I worry that this perfect moment will be ruined if they become a little more adept at their instruments. Taking away some of the passion in their playing might neuter their effectiveness. A better scenario might be for them to break up and move onto other things leaving this batch of songs as their only work.

 New Optimism – Amazon to LeFrak – New Optimism is basically Miho Hatori, most notably of Cibo Matto fame. It was a record I didn’t know existed until I started down a random google search hole. It was one of those days where think to yourself, “Oh, I wonder what they’re doing” and then six hours have past. Not setting out to find new music by her and then there it is, was like a wonderful present. Unfortunately it’s only an EP. Unfortunately I haven’t heard anyone talk about the record at all. It came out in July and I worry it’s already buried under mounds of other new releases. Googling Hatori again I realize she has produced a full length record I didn’t know anything about. This last surprise was released in October.

 The music on Amazon to LeFrak is right in line with her work in Cibo Matto and her painfully underrated Ecdysis from 2005. The music is colorful and dancey, vibrant and a little quirky. I hope this flurry of creative continues into the New Year.

Eddie Garcia

In 2018 I listened to and focused on music from films as much or more than straight-up albums. Here are my favorites, they’re all magnificent and worthy of your time.

Favorite Film Scores & Soundtracks

Hereditary - Colin Stetson

Mandy - Jóhann Jóhannsson

Suspiria - Thom Yorke

Black Panther - Kendrick Lamar

You Were Never Really Here - Johnny Greenwood

A Star Is Born - Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper

Vox Lux - Sia / Scott Walker

Revenge - ROB

Kin - Mogwai

Thoroughbreds - Erik Friedlander

Eighth Grade - Anna Meredith

42 Grams - Takénobu

*Honorable mention* Halloween (2018) - John Carpenter. I mean, it was great to hear The Theme loud & revved up/industrialized in a theatre, but not really doing much new here if I’m being honest. Love to John Carpenter forever though!

Favorite Albums

There was much that I ‘liked’ this year in music but less that I ‘loved’ (gonna blame that partially on a shortage of deep listening time). I also had a few instances where live greatly outweighed the record, no matter how much I tried to listen. So rather than list out 40 albums, here are the ones that really affected me, so much so that I even have physical copies of 90% of these.

Sons of Kemet - Your Queen Is A Reptile

Bill Frisell - Music Is

Ohmme - Parts

The Nels Cline 4 - Currents, Constellations

The Messthetics - s/t

Mary Lattimore - Hundreds of Days - Meg Baird & Mary Lattimore - Ghost Forests

Dark Prophet Tongueless Monk - Insides

Yo La Tengo - There’s A Riot Going On

Shane Parish - Child Asleep In The Rain

Low - Double Negative

Marisa Anderson - Cloud Corner

Mind Over Mirrors - Bellowing Sun

Renata Zeiguer - Old Ghost

The Sea And Cake - Any Day

Oh Sees - Smote Reverser

Yonatan Gat - Universalists

Julian Lage - Modern Lore

***I just picked up The Hex by Richard Swift and Mattson 2 Play ‘A Love Supreme’ but as they haven’t gotten a full spin yet I can’t include but they sound mighty fine so far.

Favorite Pop Song

Kimbra - “Top Of the World”

*I don’t really listen to much modern pop music but this song slays and instantly appealed to me the first time I heard it.

Patrick Wall’s Top Ten

Knee Meets Jerk, or: In Which a Semiretired Music Critic and Journalist Offers Brief, Non-Critical and Non-Sequitur Thoughts on His Favorite Music of 2018. Because, Hey, Music Is Personal and Subjective, Right?

*Results listed in alphabetical order and subject to change.

Bad years look better when they’re gone.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt more unstable — professionally, personally, psychologically — in my life than I did in 2018. In the past eighteen months, I've moved twice — from a new home to an old home to very, very far away from home. I bounced from a solid if unexciting job to no job to high-paying but infrequent freelance jobs to steady and cool but low-paying jobs to a high-paying but stressful and wholly unfulfilling job. Commutes went from long car rides to long bike rides and long walks to long train and subway rides. As summer faded to fall and turned to bitter winter, the world just felt increasingly, incontrovertibly, ineffably doomed. New homes didn’t feel as such. Old ones seemed gone, unable to be returned to — no man, Heraclitus mused, can step twice in the same stream.

If things were roiling internally, they weren’t any better externally. The planet is doomed. The authoritarians won. The world got colder. Some of my friends got cancer. Some of them, their cancers came back. Some of my friends got sad. Some of them came to the brink of death. Some of them got help, got better. Some of them didn’t make it through the year, taken either by illness or by their own hands, their voices now silhouettes, never coming back.

All this is to say: I have done far less critical listening this year than in the past. My time is more limited. My tastes are broader and more tolerant now than when I was a quote-unquote critic, but they’re harder to fathom. The things I connected with this year, I don’t know that I could explain why. I don’t know why Cave’s “San’Yago” spoke to me on the same level as Janelle Monae’s “Make Me Feel,” Jeff Parker’s “Blackman,” They Might Be Giants’ “Last Wave,” The Fearless Flyers’ “Ace of Aces,” Superchunk’s “What a Time to Be Alive,” The Messthetics’ “The Inner Ocean,” Fucked Up’s “Normal People.” I don’t know that I can qualify why none of the records those songs were on made the list below, or why I connected with those records in times of existential crisis. (Though, were I to give it some good, critical though, Monae’s Dirty Computer would probably grade out as the best of the year.)

How do we measure out our worst years? What defines them, shapes them? What do we reach for when everything feels bad? What do we reach for when we just need things to get better? The sensitive among us, we to turn art — the gear-minded among us, to music, in particular. But how do we code ourselves to forget, when the music we listened to — the music we connected with the most — brings us back to those places?

If you’re lucky, you get to close that part of yourself off and forget about it. If you’re luckier, you don’t. You recognize those sounds — those emotions — when you hear them again. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to close that part of yourself off and forget about it — but you’ll recognize those sounds when you heard it again. You just need to realize that you were lucky enough to have heard them in the first place.

So here are eleven records released in 2018 that I listened to that I enjoyed more than the other ones I listened to that were released in 2018. These are the records that provided some small comfort, and that will reinforce, in the years to come, that bad years look better when they’re gone. We hope.

Rafiq Bhatia, Breaking English [Anti-]

The Body, I Have Fought Against It, But I Can’t Any Longer [Thrill Jockey]

Khruangbin, Con Todo El Mundo [Dead Oceans]

Julian Lage, Modern Lore [Mack Avenue]

Low, Double Negative [Sub Pop]

Makaya McCraven, Universal Beings [International Anthem]

Mount Eerie, Now Only [P.W. Elverum & Sons]

Ohmme, Parts [Joyful Noise]

Miles Okazaki, Work [self-released]

Tangents, New Bodies [Temporary Residence Limited]

Ryley Walker, Deafman Glance [Dead Oceans]

Patrick Wall is an infrequent contributor to Pedal Fuzz. Sometimes, people pay him to write things. He used to live in North Carolina; he currently lives in Massachusetts. The record he actually listened to the most this year? Psychic Temple’s Plays Music for Airports.

Tom Sowders

 This year I listened to a lot of music that did not come out recently. BUT. I did have some favorites in 2018.

Eric Bachman - No Recover

The National - Cherry Tree Vol. 1

The National - Boxer Live in Brussels

Big Red Machine - S/T

Cat Power - Wanderer

The Love Language - Baby Grand

Shopping - The Official Body

Waxahatchee - Great Thunder

Speedy Ortiz - Twerp Verse

Surfbort - Friendship Music

 Lee Wallace

To make this as absolutely accurate as possible and to allow for any sudden last minute submissions, I am writing this at 8pm on New Year's Eve.

My best of 2018:

Guided By Voices - Space Gun (Rockathon Records). This has already become one of my touch stone GBV albums, in roughly the same status as Mag Earwhig! or Class Clown Spots a UFO or even Vampire on Titus. Fifteen concise psych pop rockers, not a micro second wasted.

Adrian Legg - Live (self release). Adrian is surely one of the two or three best finger style guitarists on this planet, and for nearly forty years he has been traveling and performing solo gigs at house concerts, coffee bars, pubs and anywhere ears will listen.  As wonderful as his playing and composing can be, his arduous fans know that his eloquent, story like song introductions are half of the appeal of seeing him in person. This is perhaps the first time that Legg has released a live album with these stories intact. His ruminations lately have concerned greed, materialism, racism, and the destruction of the environment, all from the perspective of a sagely septaugenarian that has traveled the world many times over, but they are as beautiful as his delicate, astounding guitar playing.

Julia Holter - Aviary (Domino Recording Co.). Holter's third album takes an extraordinary leap from the intelligent chamber pop of her previous work to spooky, other worldly avantgarde. Since so many music reviewers tend to make lazy comparisons to Kate Bush when writing about Holter, imagine if “Lionheart” had jumped straight ahead to “The Dreaming” with 21st century technology. Batshit arrangements and sonic freakouts, lysergic orchestral pile ups that come from outer space, on first listen it all sounds like a mess in places, but hang in there, your brain will thank you.

Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer (Atlantic). Composer/singer/dancer/actress/ time travel enthusiast Monae can be high on concept sometimes but she is even higher on melody, groove and astoundingly great vocal performances. I haven't yet taken the time to dissect what all of this “means” in terms of her commentary about contemporary society and what not, but it sure sounds superb. I suspect that she isn't even close to her peak yet, either.

Lilac Shadows - Brutalism (Diggup Tapes). This Durham, NC quartet has apparently done cassettes and digi downloads before but this is on a bona fide high quality vinyl LP in beautiful packaging. Flavors of “Movement”-era New Order and classic 4AD make this music nerd proud to share some geographical proximity with them. Excellent live band too.

[welcometophu]

Not Your Love Song: Chapter 18

Marked Book 2: Not Your Love Song

Chapter 18

[ Previous | First | Next ]

Rory is awake far too early on Sunday. Alaric convinces him to stumble down into the dining hall for breakfast, but Rory doesn’t bother to shower first. He just wants to go back to sleep after breakfast, when Alaric leaves for OPT.

It works for a little while.

His phone starts buzzing a little after noon. Rory would guess that Alaric just hit the road in Dax’s minivan to go home, so he’s not surprised by the onslaught. He rolls over and grabs the phone, unlocks it to find three text threads waiting for him.

The oldest is from Darrik, and Rory can’t imagine why he’d be up at just past six in the morning on a Sunday.

I forgot to text that I got in okay last night after the movie. Had a good time. Bet you’re still sleeping.

At that hour? Definitely. The nine o’clock breakfast was too early as it was.

I was, Rory replies. I’m awake now. You surviving after your late night?

While they’d seen the first movie showing of the night, their group had all gone out to Teas Please after, and Darrik had dropped Rory off at just past one before heading back to Valiant. It wasn’t all that late for Rory, but for someone who works in a high school on weekdays, it had to be past his usual bedtime.

He switches to the next conversation in the list, a little surprised that it’s just Kit and him, and not the group chat with Shane, or the larger one that includes Dax and Darrik as well.

We just hit the road. Carolyn looks like she’s going to puke. Corbin is loud and he and Drea are kind of disturbingly cute. There are two people we knew in high school going with us, and having their car behind us is like having the past on our tail.

It’s a poetic image, the idea of the past literally hunting a person down, following them down the highway. Or back roads. Rory grabs a notebook and writes it down before he sends back, Is that imagery up for grabs?

Give me a shoutout when you sing it, if it makes it that far, Kit replies.

That’s easy enough. I can do that, Rory agrees. Is Alaric bored and sulking about having to go home?

I think he’s talking to Dax about football. Why? Is he texting you, too? You guys are really good friends, right?

Like family. Rory doesn’t need to think about it, or qualify it in any way. We got lucky. I think he was dreading having to room with a Mage. I didn’t know what to expect from Clan. People are so different. There’s Alaric, and then there’s Darrik.

It’s a cue, maybe, because a notification pops up to add to the trail of texts he has from Alaric. It starts with a series of apologies for waking him up early, trails into a discussion of just how thrilled he is to be heading home, and meanders into a dry commentary on public displays of affection between his sister and his best friend. It’s easy to imagine Alaric’s voice for each of the texts, and Rory’s laughing at the end. You could just tell them to quit it, he suggests.

Do you think I haven’t tried? Do you know how many Mages are in this van? And two more in a car behind us. Drea says she talked to our parents. I don’t think it matters that they’ve been warned. It’s not going to go over well.

Do you have a plan for Theobald? Rory asks.

Yeah. I’m distracting him with politics. I have a whole printed contract with Dayton’s Clan, specific to her and me allying, not the older generations. I also want to arrange a visitation for spring break. Our whole alliance plans to meet there, including the Mages.

Rory rolls onto his back, phone held above him. That’s going to be a hell of a distraction, yeah. I don’t have to worry about him trying to kill you or something, do I?

I’m all he has left.

Rory knows exactly how Alaric says it, how lost he sounds with those words. He also knows it’s not true. There’s Drea. There are other families among their Clan. There are options. He’s not sure what, exactly, keeps Theobald from stripping this away from Alaric. But something does, and Alaric’s going to continue to push his limits as long as he can.

I’m doing okay. The message pops up from Darrik, and when Rory switches conversations there are dots like Darrik is still thinking through what he wants to say next. I had fun last night, Darrik finally sends. I like your friends. I’d say I’m looking forward to Wednesday, but I’d be lying. I am looking forward to seeing you and your friends, though.

That statement makes sense to Rory. Did you talk to Lora’s parents and the people at Sunnyview?

Not yet, Darrik admits. I did try to call her parents, but they’re out. They do brunch sometimes, so I’ll probably get hold of them this evening. I’ll let you know when everything’s set. Do you need anything special for the ritual?

Rory switches conversations, pulling up the group text with Kit and Shane and staring at it for a long time before deciding he’s not typing anything there right now and switches back to Darrik. I don’t know yet, but I’ll let you know. I think it’s going to be all Kit’s focus and me and Shane trying to supply direction, and we’ll go from there. Hopefully we can reach her.

Hopefully.

There’s nothing more than that one word from Darrik. Rory shifts from conversation to conversation, ignoring what he’s been sent in favor of looking for another reply from Darrik. When one doesn’t come, he bites his lip, tries to decide what to send back.

This was a rough weekend. Are you okay?

I’m going to be. The response comes back like he didn’t have to think about it, like maybe he was expecting the question. I’ll send you info as soon as I know it for Wednesday. And probably text you when I’m bored in study hall.

Rory smiles at Darrik’s attempt to lighten the mood. I’ll look forward to it. And keep my phone on silent so I don’t get in trouble for texting my boyfriend during lectures.

This time when there’s no reply right away, Rory lets it go.

Alaric put his phone away. I can almost feel his anxiety. He’s the one who doesn’t like Heather, right?

Kit’s text comes through while Rory is talking to Darrik. It’s been several minutes by the time Rory gets to it, but he figures that’s fine. It’s not like Kit’s going anywhere; he’s trapped in a car for at least a half an hour.

Yeah, he doesn’t like Empaths. I was just talking to Darrik. He’s going to talk to Lora’s parents. He’s not looking forward to reliving any of that mess again, but he liked you guys. So he’s looking forward to seeing everyone again.

Jess won’t be there, Kit replies. But I liked her. She’s got a lot of energy, doesn’t she? But quiet energy. Like a mountain. With freckles.

Rory has to look through his photos to find one from last night, because he doesn’t have a clear mental image of Jess, and he doesn’t remember the freckles. They’re there, though. She’s tall, broad-shouldered, taking Shane’s weight when he leans on her.

He hopes Kit never actually calls her a mountain; he’s pretty sure she’d find that offensive. But he understands the reference, that kind of solid, stable energy that lies in the earth. I get it, he replies. Did you get to talk to Serina at all today? You guys seem to be doing well.

It’s only been a week. Ish.

Rory frowns at the phone. Is that your way of saying it isn’t serious? Or that it’s not a thing? Or that it’s not working? You guys seemed good last night.

I think we’re okay.

Kit’s response comes quickly, but it’s followed by a series of dots and Rory waits to see if Kit’s going to finish the thought. He reaches for his notebook, scribbles notes to himself about the idea of the past chasing as they drive down the highway, the car close behind. What happens when you stop, and the past catches up… yeah, that’s a thought.

I really like her.

The phone buzzes to let him know Kit replied, but it’s just those four words.

I think she really likes you, Rory replies.

I know. We get along really well, and she’s fun. We talk a lot, and we make out some.

Rory winces, because this may be starting to verge into TMI territory. Not that he hasn’t handled that since Thorne hit puberty, but still. He doesn’t really think he has that kind of friendship with Kit, yet.

I like kissing her. I think I like kissing in general. Which is good, right? I’m just not sure… I haven’t really wanted to move past that. She hasn’t said anything about it, which is also good, since moving past kissing starts getting into other things. But I don’t know if not wanting more is a me thing, an us thing, or maybe it’s just life.

Rory is not qualified to be having this conversation. He wants to ask if it matters right now, but he figures it must matter to Kit, since he brought it up. And maybe it matters to Serina, maybe it doesn’t, but Rory certainly isn’t going to go knock on her door to ask.

He looks at his door like it’s about to burst open on cue. Thankfully it doesn’t, but he gets out of bed anyway, just to check and make sure the door is actually still locked.

Is it something you need to figure out right now? he asks.

No, but I

The text ends there, as if Kit was interrupted or just decided to stop, and Rory isn’t sure which it is. Alaric’s gone silent, and Darrik never responded to his last. It’s as good a time as any to toss his phone on the bed and go looking for something to wear.

Rory tosses dirty laundry into a hamper; there’s enough that he probably should throw a load in  while most of the world is either still sleeping off the Saturday night drunk, or getting brunch downstairs. Apparently it’s long overdue since the only t-shirts left in his drawer are the ones he wears when he doesn’t really give a shit. And every single hoodie could use a wash, so he has to decide which one is least offensive, or else just not leave the building.

He does a sniff test and decides that not leaving the building is the right answer. Clean pajama pants, an old t-shirt, and hanging out in his room finishing up assignments and working on music. He can do that.

He takes the hamper down and separates it into two washers. He walks cautiously past Serina’s room, as if she somehow knows what he’s been talking to Kit about and is going to pounce on him with her side of the story.

When he gets back to his room, he grabs the phone and checks it.

Maybe I’m just being stupid, Kit says. If I like her, shouldn’t I want to do more? Shouldn’t I be interested in

He cuts off again in that text, but another one has already come through.

I just want to know if it’s me, or if it’s because it’s her, or if it’s something else entirely. I’ve never had a girlfriend before, and maybe it’s just a time thing.

Rory closes his door, twists the lock. Have you ever kissed anyone before Serina? he asks. He strips down to his underwear and wraps a towel around his waist while waiting for Kit to respond.

Once. In seventh grade. During one of those stupid games that I honestly didn’t believe that anyone actually played at middle school parties.

I didn’t like it. But I figured it was because he didn’t know I was a guy, so it just felt weird and wrong. Most of seventh grade felt weird and wrong. Adolescence sucked in a major way.

Rory’s starting to wonder if maybe he is the right person for Kit to be talking to. He leans back against the bed, fingers sliding over the keyboard as he types. I’m not personally a big fan of kissing. I like cuddling. There is nothing better than having another body in bed with you, honestly, but it’s nothing sexual. I snuggle people I trust. Kissing always feels weird to me, and I definitely don’t want to do anything else with anyone.

Hm. Rory imagines the way Kit’s brow furrows. I do like

He cuts off again, and Rory swallows a laugh. It’s like talking to someone who’s been bleeped out.

You can like getting off without wanting to do it with another person, Rory says, his cheeks bright red even though no one’s there to see it. Or it’s possible she’s just not the right person for you. No matter what popular media says, not every guy wants to get into every girl’s pants. And not everyone is thinking about sex all the time. Even people who like it. Thorne’s an outlier. Most people are a lot more subtle about it.

Thanks for talking to me. I know you’re not a fan of sex. I appreciate it, Kit replies.

Rory does laugh out loud at that. I am betting I’m the only ace guy you know, so I’m okay if you want to talk to me about that. It’s one of those things that a lot of guys don’t understand. And Kit? It’s okay if it’s also just because you’re anxious because of everything else. That’s something you’ll figure out. Just don’t worry about rushing it, okay?

He leaves the phone on the bed when he heads to the shower. Kit should be arriving in Haverhill soon, and Rory thinks that maybe he’s had enough awkward but encouraging conversations about sexuality.

There’s a song in that somewhere. It might even have to do with the past chasing…

Huh.

He hums under his breath while he showers, and by the time he gets back to his room, lyrics are starting to form.

[ Previous | First | Next ]

[ledamemangociana]

Give us an angsty scenario for a sheasaro breakup

ohhhhh bOYYYYYYYY i have like three under the cut, buckle up

The Bar wins vs The New Day in the MITB qualifier tag team match next week and they kinda argue about who gets the spot in the MITB match. sheamy wants in coz he’s a successful MITB cash-in and could do it a second time. cesaro wants in coz he hasn’t won an MITB match and he’s not about to let an opportunity for an opportunity at the top prize go. eventually cesaro relents, since sheamus has won before so that might mean he has a better chance of winning, and hey, a victory for one is a victory for both, right? so sheamus goes in but loses, and cesaro gives him shit for it because as much as both of them wins when one wins, they also both lose when the other loses. sheamus points out the weird logic in this - if cesaro had been in the match, and cesaro had won, was cesaro really going to share the briefcase with him? would they both cash it in? would he co-own the WWE championship with sheamus? cesaro would try to change the subject by convincing sheamus that they can either challenge the briefcase holder for it or they can steal it. they bungle all their attempts up with losses (some with sheamus getting the pin or being made to tap) and/or getting caught, which leads to an even bigger rift, until cesaro goes into business for himself without consulting sheamus or bringing him along. he gets the briefcase, either by challenging the holder of it and cheating to win, or by stealing it and finding some loophole to bind it to him as the new owner. he then officially kicks sheamus to the curb, saying that now he’s got the MITB briefcase, what does he need sheamus for? sheamus only puts Ls on his record, but he’s going to go and win himself the WWE championship. 

sheamus goes into the MITB match, wins the briefcase again, cashes in successfully again outta nowhere, becomes WWE champ. he honestly, sincerely, calls cesaro his co-champion coz they’re a team, they’re the best team, they are The Bar together. but over time, cesaro’s bitterness and jealousy gets the best of him. he asks to fight sheamus in a “friendly” title bout, which sheamus says yes to, because what’s the harm in it, even if he loses to cesaro, his best friend cesaro, his brother from a foreign mother, the title would still be with The Bar, and cesaro deserves the championship anyway, he’s always believed that. the match is nasty and aggressive and cesaro seems angry and desperate, but ultimately loses. sheamus thinks all is well, but then cesaro keeps getting him DQ wins in matches, for the title or otherwise, and tells him he’s just protecting sheamus’ championship, even if it means having to smack sheamus around a bit in front of the ref so that sheamus gets the win. sheamus becomes more and more wary, even as cesaro tries to assuage his fears, but then one night, it all boils over, and sheamus has enough of it. when cesaro tries to get him DQed again, he attacks cesaro, who fights back. cesaro plays the indignant victim - “i was just trying to help you, why are you angry?!” - but sheamus knows what cesaro really wants. 

they both lose to the new day in the MITB qualifier match, and decide after a couple more losses, which cesaro blames on sheamus, to move on and try to challenge for the SD tag titles, because that’s what they built their team and momentum on over on RAW. they win it once, maybe twice, but every loss they take, no matter how big or small, grates on cesaro. how can they call themselves The Bar if sheamus keeps getting his ass kicked? sheamus takes exception to this, saying cesaro would have been lost in the shuffle in 2017 if it wasn’t for him. cesaro makes him put his money where his mouth is, and challenges him to get three wins without him before the next pay-per-view. sheamus gets two, but cesaro sabotages his final chance at the third win, and it breaks out into an all out brawl that sees cesaro lay sheamus out. paige and/or shane mcmahon decides to put a stop to it all by pitting them against each other at the pay-per-view, with the winner getting an opportunity at a title of their choice, from either Smackdown or RAW, essentially doing the 8th match in their best-of-7 that Mick Foley refused to put them in, which saw them become a tag team in the first place. the irony isn’t lost on either sheamus or cesaro, but they both acknowledge that this is what it was always going to come to, and how it’s supposed to end. that final match sees them sort of make up, and cesaro comes out on top, and declares on the next episode of Smackdown that he’s going after the Universal Championship, and is going back to RAW to do so, which means leaving sheamus behind on Smackdown. they have a big, almost touching goodbye, until sheamus Brogue Kicks cesaro into next week.

sheamus confides to cesaro that he doesn’t think he’s gonna be around much longer. he’s been in the company nearly 10 years, some injuries keep nagging him, he thinks he’s slowing down, he’s not sure his place is still in the ring, maybe it’s time he slowly faded into the background, let the present and future of the company, like cesaro, shine. cesaro doesn’t believe sheamus is quite there yet, but promises to win the tag titles with him one last time at least, and tries to convince sheamus not to retire from in-ring competition until he gets that elusive Grand Slam win (which is near impossible at this point because the IC title is on a different show). they build their momentum back up with wins as tweeners. the first two times they challenge for the titles, they lose, and sheamus gets depressed about it and starts to lose a little bit of hope. cesaro tells him that this is not the sheamus he came to know and appreciate as His Tag Team Partner™, so he convinces him to challenge for the title match one last time, and if they lose again, then they can try to get transferred back to RAW so he can help him get the IC title instead. sheamus doesn’t get why cesaro seems so optimistic about it all, but okay sure, he’ll have one more go. they win the tag titles at Summerslam, and cesaro says he and sheamus are throwing a party on the next Smackdown Live episode. at the party, Paige or Shane tells them that if they’re able to defend their titles successfully in three consecutive matches, Sheamus gets a chance to challenge for the IC title at Survivor Series, and if he wins, he gets to bring it to Smackdown. they get the three wins, and Sheamus wins the IC title at Survivor Series. on the next Smackdown, Paige or Shane tells them that Kurt Angle won’t let Sheamus take it the IC title to Smackdown if he’s also also tag champ at the same time, which means Sheamus has to choose between relinquishing the IC title, or relinquishing the Smackdown tag titles. sheamus declares that he knows what’s right, he knows who got him where he is and he knows who he’s not going to turn his back on - and then Brogue Kicks the life out of cesaro and declares the SD tag titles vacated, declaring that the person who got him where he is now, the person he’s not ever turning his back on, is himself, and officially breaks up The Bar. when cesaro confronts him about this on a later date, Sheamus laughs at Cesaro for buying into his “i think it’s about time i left” BS, and maybe that gullibility is why it was so easy for him to use Cesaro to get what he wanted; if it’s anyone’s time to disappear, it’s Cesaro’s, because without him, Cesaro will be lost in the background again, forever grasping at a brass ring being kept out of his reach, only to be remembered as the little man Sheamus had to step on to get here.

L I S T E N i love My Dads The Lads™ and i hope they never break up but if they have to, i hope that when it happens it’s extra af and kind of heart-breaky with an emotional pay-off so good that it’s gonna kept getting put on “Top 10 Most Heartwrenching Tag Team Break-ups Of All Time” lists for the rest of time.

[ledenews]

DJ Abisalih – Much More than Talking the Talk

When a person hears anything about the state of Maine, the first thought for many must involve lobster, right? If properly prepared, the succulent meat pops when bitten, and if buttered just right, there’s no better treat for fans of shellfish. But DJ Abisalih, born in Methuen, Maine and raised in Scarborough, wouldn’t know. If fact, the first time the “Voice of the Wheeling Nailers” ever tasted a Maine lobster was at Red Lobster in St. Clairsville. It was on a dare, and a trained EMT was present just in case he inherited a crustacean allergy from his mother. But see, Abisalih has long been a “gamer” when it’s come to challenges, and that is why he was the public address announcer for 10 different varsity sports teams during his high school career. Those experiences led him to the New England School of Broadcasting in Bangor, Maine, and to a position with the Portland Sea Dogs, the Double-A affiliate of his beloved Boston Red Sox. In 2009, however, much of life became about hockey. His first job was as a color guy in Lewiston, but then play-by-play guy Alex departed for Wheeling, and that opened an opportunity. Abisalih then arrived to Wesbanco Arena in 2012, and he’s made the Upper Ohio valley his home ever since. He, his fiancé Mindy, and her two daughters reside in Martins Ferry. DJ’s parents moved to Ohio County, too, a few years ago, so now, ironically enough, he calls home the place where he finally bit into that very first Maine lobster.

Former Nailers broadcaster Alex Reed paved the way for DJ to come to Wheeling eight years ago.

So, I understand you have become quite the Yahtzee player during this stay-at-home era.

The stay-at-home era has created opportunities for more activity time with my family. We do everything from outdoor activities such as volleyball, street hockey, and taking walks, to indoor games such as Yahtzee, Jumanji, and Pun Intended. One of our Yahtzee nights took a fun turn. We played two games. I won the first one running away, because I rolled two Yahtzees, which is an automatic 100 points. The second game came down to the final turn. If I got a Yahtzee, I won. If not, I lost. I rolled three sixes on my first roll and one more on my second roll. So, it came down to the final die, which luckily came up a six. Everyone in the family is competitive, which makes the games a lot of fun.

The Nailers’ season ended before the end of the regular season and the team was struggling at the time to qualify for the postseason. How do you think it would have ended for Wheeling’s hockey team?

It was challenging to watch the way the team performed down the stretch, especially after experiencing some of the great successes they had (sweeping the Rapid City trip in December, 4-0-0 and 4-1-1 homestands). Because of the hole that was dug during the last three weeks, I believe playoffs would have been a long shot, as 13 games isn’t a lot of time to make up a 11-point deficit. If that were the case, I still would have been intrigued to see the new players that would have come in after finishing their college and junior seasons. Historically, Wheeling has had a lot of success in that department (Chris Kushneriuk, Derek Army, Jarrett Burton, Cody Wydo), and it starts to give you a look at some players who will make an impact for your team the following season.

DJ began his professional broadcasting career with the Portland Sea Dogs.

The last Nailers’ coach to lead the Nailers to success was Clark Donatelli before he moved up in the organization. In your opinion, what did Clark do with that group of players that worked well?

Clark was very good at building a tight locker room, and he was able to do that by finding the right veterans around the league to lead, while absolutely crushing the recruiting game with college players. People forget that Clark struggled in his first full year here (missed the playoffs by six points). However, in the summer of 2013, he landed a couple of big free agents in Chaz Johnson and Mike Ratchuk, while getting help from Wilkes-Barre/Scranton to get Dustin Stevenson. That group, along with players like Zack Torquato and Christian Minella really helped to groom the players who were just starting in the ECHL – Shane Bakker, Paul Cianfrini, Derek Army. Fast forward to the finals year (2015-16), and those were some of the leaders helping to groom that year’s rookies – John McCarron, Brett Stern, Cody Wydo. Clark had teams that worked hard and were very invested in both each other and the city.

When a prospect is assigned to Wheeling, what usually is most important when it comes to their development so they can continue climbing the ladder within the Pittsburgh Penguins organization?

To me, there are two key parts to this. First, they can’t look at it as a demotion. It’s easy to sign an AHL contract and think you’re locked in there all season, then you get sent to the ECHL, and you realize where you are on the depth chart. However, I’ve always said that players need to play, and they’re going to grow more by playing 20 minutes a night here than they are sitting out 20 nights up there. The second part is without question the hardest to learn, and it really separates who makes it and who doesn’t. They must learn to become all around players. Scoring is great but look at the organization. Pittsburgh has Crosby, Malkin, Guentzel, Rust, and Hornqvist, not to mention a prospect in Poulin. They are set. They need role players – players who are going to kill penalties, block shots, play the body. My favorite success story that I love to use as an example is Tom Kuhnhackl. Tom was a Pittsburgh draft pick under NHL contract, who had a 39-goal year in juniors. He scored here, but his breakthrough moment for me was during a playoff game in Greenville. We were killing off a 6-on-3 in the closing minutes, and he had two huge shot blocks to help us preserve a one-goal win. The ability to grow his all-around game is exactly what led him to the NHL and to two Stanley Cups.

DJ and former Thunderbirds broadcaster Dave Goucher who is now with the Vegas Golden Knights.

What have been the best parts and worst parts for you during this pandemic?

This pandemic has been one of the most unique circumstances I’ve lived through, and it’s been a learning experience throughout it. Some of the best parts on a personal level have been more time with my family, and more of a chance to connect with friends from around the continent, whether by call, text, or video chat. It’s also been nice to have an extended time to reset from the season. I’ve had more time to lay out what I’ve liked and haven’t liked, and have been able to dive into more projects. On the other side of the coin, I miss the in-person social interaction with our fans. People see me out in public or at a community event, and they immediately want to talk shop – life, the team, the schedule. I love those conversations. You can feel their excitement and passion, and that puts a smile on my face. The other frustration, which I think everyone feels is the unknown. As the team’s PR guy, I know a lot of what goes on with the team, as I am the one who distributes the information. If I don’t know something, I can usually tell you who would know or when we can expect to know. However, in this situation, it’s the opposite. Like you, I’m not sure what the NHL does, if they finish this season or not, when they’ll play in front of fans. It’s a big mystery, but the good thing is, Wheeling and the hockey community are both filled with amazing people, so when we do get the go-ahead, we’re all going to share some fantastic times together! Read the full article

[placetobenation]

Will this be one of the final weeks without crowds at a wrestling event? It could be!

With signs of things trying to get back somewhat back to normal around the Country, there are reports that the state of Florida will allow sporting events and wrestling open their doors at possibly 25% capacity. I’m sure the WWE will pounce on this opportunity if it’s presented. As long as it is safe, it would be a welcome return to fill the void left with no crowds. But again, let us stress – ONLY IF IT’S SAFE!

With a week left until the Money In The Bank PPV, here’s how the card looks:

WWE Championship Match: Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins

Universal Championship Match: Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt/The Fiend

Men’s Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Aleister Black, Daniel Bryan, Rey Mysterio, King Corbin, Otis and winner of RAW’s Last Chance Gauntlet Match

Women’s Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Shayna Baszler, Nia Jax, Asuka, Dana Brooke & Lacey Evans

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match: Bayley vs. Tamina

.@SonyaDevilleWWE is LAYING WASTE to @WWE_MandyRose on #SmackDown! pic.twitter.com/07vdhXDPcF

— WWE (@WWE) May 2, 2020

Star of the Week:

Sonya Deville – After last week’s emotional and  personal promo showing her true feelings against Mandy Rose, Deville was in top form showing her rage against her former best friend and tag team partner. Here’s hoping for a physical, twist-turning feud that goes on a for a bit and has some legs.

RAW

RESULTS

Rey Mysterio, Aleiser Black & Apollo Crews defeated Andrade, Angel Garza & Austin Theory

Nia Jax vs. Asuka vs. Shayna Baszler never started

Bobby Lashley defeated Denzel Dejournette

Liv Morgan defeated Ruby Riott

Jinder Mahal defeated Akira Tozawa

United States Championship Match: Andrade defeated Apollo Crews

Ricochet & Cedric Alexander defeated Ever-Rise

Kind of a disjointed show this week on RAW after a couple of really good weeks. That’s disappointing as short (or non-matches) ruled the evening. On a positive note though, Zelina Vega continues to be the Queen of RAW, sorry Charlotte Flair. Vega dominates every segment she’s a part of it – in a good way! Plus, how about them heels on those boots! How the heck did she even walk to the ring! Would love to see WWE put her in a pre-produced segment once or twice a month to showcase her talents out of the ring. We don’t need another in-ring promo segment in front of no crowd these days (sorry Miz TV, Moment of Bliss, MVP Lounge, every start to a WWE show).

While the opening six-man tag match was decent, it was just too long, stretched out over three segments, four if you count the MVP Lounge to start the show. Plus, it didn’t end there as we got a set-up for Apollo Crews’ US Title Match later that night. Damn that slap was loud!

BRING IT ON.@WWEApollo wants an opportunity at @AndradeCienWWE's #USTitle, and he just might get it TONIGHT! #WWERaw pic.twitter.com/VhNRTS6SpT

— WWE (@WWE) April 28, 2020

Unfortunately, it led to the most disappointing part of the evening as Crews “injures” his knee and is now out of the MITB Men’s Ladder Match. He was of course the underdog, emotional favorite we were all pulling for!

He's baaaaaaaaack.#WWERaw @JinderMahal pic.twitter.com/YAvzwc4ka1

— WWE (@WWE) April 28, 2020

Returns! We got them with Samoa Joe back at the commentary table and Jinder Mahal is back to grace us with his awesomeness on RAW for the first time in over a year.

I really hope they give Liv Morgan a REAL push! Much like Ricochet & Cedric Alexander, it seems like Morgan is up and down from week-to-week as opposed to a strong month of activity.

What the heck was up with the triple threat? We get the tease of a match of dominating non-divas only to see if end two minutes into it without starting as Nia Jax goes crazy with the ladder. There’s better way to build it folks than to just waste it like that. I could’ve used a good 8-10 minutes of back-and-forth between the trio instead of three segments of the six-man match.

The contract for the #WWEChampionship Match at #MITB has been SIGNED.@DMcIntyreWWE delivered a crushing CLAYMORE to @WWERollins' disciple, @WWE_Murphy!#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/E0esLnn0Iu

— WWE (@WWE) April 28, 2020

Drew McIntyre continues to be the star of Monday Nights! His no-nonsense, yet whimsy approach with his cool one-liners plays well. Getting right to the contract signing and then to the expected physicality that ensued is a plus. We all know it’s coming, so address it head-on. I really wish they would come up with a better unveiling of the “contract signing” that has seen its better days.

I really hope they give McIntyre vs. Rollins some breathing room and not just a one-off at MITB. Murphy is now back too to be that sacrificial lamb for the WWE Champion.

Finally, is it really fair to Akira Tozawa or us, the fans, to see him get squashed every Monday night but be forced to see him as a contender for the Cruiserweight Championship on Wednesday nights? Non-sense!

Boy do we miss Kevin Owens!

NXT

RESULTS

Interim NXT Cruiserweight Championship Match: Isaiah Scott defeated El Hijo del Fantasma

Candice LeRae defeated Kacy Catenzaro

Non-title NXT Women’s Championship Match: Charlotte Flair defeated Mia Yim

Dexter Lumis defeated Shane Thorne

Interim NXT Cruiserweight Championship Match: Drake Maverick defeated Tony Nese

NXT North American Championship Match: Keith Lee defeated Damian Priest to retain title

This episode had a little bit of everything folks!

Quality in-ring action from The Queen, Charlotte Flair, comedy from The “Newly-Bros,” a returning Kacy Catenzaro against a new look Candace LeRae and of course, another solid main event, basking in the glory of North American Champion, Keith Lee. And oh yeah, let’s not forget the emotion of the evening from one Drake Maverick!

"I'M NOT LEAVING, BECAUSE I LOVE THIS. I LIVE FOR THIS. I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I'M THE NXT #CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!" – @WWEMaverick #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/ek0UhVkGFg

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) April 30, 2020

Loved, loved, loved seeing Maverick with the unlikely win over Tony Nese in the on-going interim NXT Cruiserweight Championship Tournament. I just hope there’s a pay-off and he sticks around after the seeming release two weeks ago.

What’s up with the Mexican Mafia? They’re now getting inside the arena as they tried to kidnap El Hijo del Fantasma before he got beat by Isaiah Scott

Pick your poison.

#WWENXT @CandiceLeRae pic.twitter.com/sl4uk3usEh

— WWE (@WWE) April 30, 2020

The Poison Pixie is here! Candace LeRae gets the new look last week and makes her in-ring debut as the Poison Pixie, complete with an awesome intro by husband Johnny Gargano! It was nice to see Kacy Catanzaro back on NXT TV, but poor Kacy, you knew she was going to get the beatdown! It was interesting to see a different side to Gargano too! Gargano gets a match with Dominik Dijakovic next week!

We haven't seen it and we already LOVE IT. #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/nnGYF1fPdE

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) April 30, 2020

What the hell was with the “Newly-Bros Show! How about Byron Sexton’s outfit, man! Finally the lunacy of RAW/Smackdown has hit NXT with Matt Riddle and Timothy Thatcher! But, it works as thankfully Imperium puts an end to it with a savage attack on the tag team champions.

A beautiful bully is what The Queen has become. The Women’s NXT Champion made her in-ring weekly tv show debut against the superstar she beat to start her NXT career five years ago – Mia Yim. Loved seeing Charlotte being the bully she truly wants to be. Classic showdown between Flair and Io Shirai after the match to set-up next week’s title match.

Also next week – time is up! Tick. Tock. Apocolypse! Karrion Kross and Scarlett Bordeaux are coming to NXT! Can’t wait for more! I’m sure Tommaso Ciampa is waiting too!

Kudos to Keith Lee for a physical main event title defense in a battle of big men. Who’s next for Lee after dispatching of Priest with a pair of Spirit Bombs for the victory.

Next week is stacked!

Next week's #WWENXT is going to be

pic.twitter.com/EocnVnK9k4

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) April 30, 2020

SMACKDOWN

RESULTS

Daniel Bryan defeated King Corbin (DQ)

Sheamus defeated Leon Ruff

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Carmella defeated Mandy Rose

Non-Title SmackDown Tag Team Title Match: The Forgotten Sons (Wesley Blake & Steve Cutler) defeated The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Big E)

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Otis defeated Dolph Ziggler

Happy May Day!

The first day of May brings us a solid SmackDown. I still don’t understand why every WWE show has to start with an in-ring promo, but this week’s it’s Daniel Bryan doing it with a heartfelt speech about hos MITB changed his wrestling career. Will it happen again on March 10th?

Chaos has ERUPTED on #SmackDown!#MITB @BaronCorbinWWE pic.twitter.com/LIDxfaD34d

— WWE (@WWE) May 2, 2020

Good stuff from Bryan and King Corbin. There’s no one better in the heel ranks than Corbin these days and the physicality, complete with ladders, sets up their MITB match nicely. Plus, we’ll get another crack at it next week as Bryan, Drew Gulak and a partner of their choice (Elias anyone?) will take on Corbin, Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura.

How about Those Forgotten Sons? Forgotten no more as Wesley Blake & Steve Cutler get their first signature TV win Friday night, beating the tag team champs in a non-title match that should put them in position for a shot at the gold soon. Nice push for the boys from NXT.

As we said earlier, Sonya Deville continues to shine in her feud with Mandy Rose. Not only did she cost Rose a shot at the MITB contract with a distraction that let Carmella advance on, but she literally took the boots to her former BFF as well after the match. Really liking this feud moving forward.

Too bad we don’t get the first couple of SmackDown both in the MITB match as Otis does advance past Dolph Ziggler in fighting through the WWE headquarters in one week.

Sheamus starting in the Jeff Hardy/Michael Cole Groundhog Day continues and I don’t know why. Same ol’ same ol’ and there’s really no reason why Sheamus is so hell bent on fighting Jeff Hardy and using Michael Cole as his punching bag. Makes no sense that they’ve wasted a month on this already.

No spoilers, please. #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/CjIjiRFUJi

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) May 2, 2020

Lastly, what started as something cool with Bray Wyatt giving us storytime with “The Black Sheep” kind of just ended and fell flat. The Fiend vs. Braun Strowman for the Universal Title feels bigger than what it’s being portrayed and played on as on TV. It’s missing that edge, that toughness, that grit. I need a bit more and we all know that Wyatt has it in him. Does Strowman? We have a week to find out.

Speaking of next week, besides the 6-man tag match, we get Lacey Evans & Tamina vs. Bayley & Sasha Banks, the return of Jeff Hardy and Braun vs. Bray face-to-face.

Still no mention of Roman Reigns! I guess we can add Sami Zayn’s name to that list as well. C’mon WWE. Just be honest with us there.

Parting Shots:

• It was great to hear Maura Ranollo’s voice back on NXT, even it wasn’t live on site. He IS the voice of NXT! • What the heck is going on with Natalya on social media? If you haven’t seen it, follow here along for all the fun (this is one of the tame one!)….

Our last @YouTube video got over 60,000 views!

What do you guys want to see next?! I was thinking I should put @TJWilson in a Sharpshooter…..and have him really break down the science of the submission!!! (Waiting for TJ to answer….)

pic.twitter.com/5pekz7pLg8

— NattieByNature (@NatbyNature) May 1, 2020

Thanks for letting us share our thoughts! Shoot me an email at jcrowe567@gmail.com. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions! You can also check out my blog, The Crowe’s Nest as we delve into more pro wrestling, sports entertainment and the World of Sports. My apologies ahead of time – I AM a Patriots and Red Sox fan! If you’re not down with that, I’ve got TWO WORDS for you… NEW ENGLAND!

[unixcommerce]

What Credit Score for a Business Loan Do I Need?

When it comes time to qualify for a business loan, your credit score is one of the top factors that lenders consider. We answer several frequently asked questions (FAQ) about your credit score for a business loan, below.

What is Considered a Good Credit Score?

A good personal score to get a business loan is 720 and above. A good business credit score is 80 or above.

Keep in mind, the various credit bureaus may have different scoring systems. Every lender chooses its own standards. So there may be variations in scoring levels. However, the 2020 Small Business Credit Survey (p. 12) by the U.S. Federal Reserve Banks lays out the general rule for the small business lending industry:

Low credit risk: 80–100 business credit score or 720+ personal credit score.

Medium credit risk: 50–79 business credit score or a 620–719 personal credit score.

High credit risk: 1–49 business credit score or less than 620 personal credit score.

Borrowers who are low credit risks get the most choices of loan products and the best terms. Borrowers who are high risk have few choices and will pay the most. Getting even a small loan for business could be tough for high risk borrowers.

Is There a Minimum Credit Score for a Business Loan?

Technically, there is no minimum credit score for a small business loan. Every lender has its own requirements.

That said, there are some general rules of thumb in the industry. In practice, a personal score of 620 is widely recognized as the minimum. More than likely you will need a score of 720 or above for good business loan terms.

Can I Get a Business Loan with a 600 Credit Score?

Business owners often want to know: can I get a business loan with a 600 credit score? Or with some other number such as a 500 credit score?

The answer is, it’s going to be hard to get a business loan with a score of 600 or less.

What can you do? If your need for money isn’t urgent, try to improve your credit score enough to get out of the high risk category. That’s the best long-term option. If you need money right away, look into one of the “no credit check required” loans below. Also, see: Small Business Loans with Bad Credit.

Business or Personal Score – Which Matters Most?

To get a loan for a business, most lenders will look at both your personal and business credit scores. But a good personal credit score is key.

Remember, a personal credit score and a business credit score are completely different things. They use different scoring systems. Even the credit bureaus are different. Some like Experian report both types of scores. Dun & Bradstreet is strictly business credit reports. A FICO score is a personal score.

Depending on the type of funding you apply for, most lenders will want to check both scores upon your loan application.

Now, you might wonder, why does the lender have to check personal credit scores for a business loan?

It’s due to the fact that “owners’ personal finances remain deeply intertwined with the finances of their businesses,” according to the 2020 Small Business Credit Survey. Professor Scott Shane adds that personal credit affects a business loan because so many small businesses are sole proprietors. Therefore, he says, “the business debts are not legally distinct from those of the owner.” He also notes that nationwide, more than half (56%) of small business loans will require the owner to give a personal guarantee, for much the same reason.

Bottom line: most business lenders will want to look at both your personal credit report and business credit report. But personal credit scores remain key.

What Happens if My Credit Score is Low?

If your credit score is low, your small business loan application could be denied altogether. But loan denial is just one of the adverse consequences — there are others.

According to a study by Fundera, the benefits of good business credit can be measured in dollars and cents. Bad credit often results in the following:

Smaller loan amounts. A good credit score can mean getting approval for up to 20 times more loan money than if you had a bad score!

Higher interest rates and fees.

Shorter repayment term, in turn requiring higher payments and squeezing cash flow. Per Fundera’s information, business owners with good credit got an average of about 16 years to repay their loans. People with poor credit got just 8 months.

To compare how interest rates and other terms make a difference, run scenarios on the business loan calculator.

Do I Need a Business Credit Score at All?

A business credit score is not necessary in all cases to get a small business loan.

Small business lenders are pragmatic. A business bank may recognize that a startup with very few years in business won’t have an established business credit history. Sole proprietors may lack an established business credit history because of operating the business mostly in the owner’s name. In those cases lenders will rely heavily on the owner’s personal score.

However, having a business credit history / score increases your options.

Do Lenders Count Credit Scores of Part Owners?

Yes, lenders typically count the personal credit scores of part owners who own at least 20% of the company. This includes business partners in a partnership, or any person in a corporation or LLC owning at least 20% equity. Originally a standard requirement by the Small Business Administration for SBA loans, the 20% rule has now become part of traditional underwriting standards. If more than one part owner has low scores it could be especially problematic.

Can I Get A Business Loan Without a Credit Check?

Yes, it is possible to get a business loan without a credit check. However, you will be limited to a few financing options such as invoice financing, factoring, cash advances, and certain microloans. Crowdfunding and private loans from friends and family are also possibilities.

Make sure to understand the pros and cons of no-credit-check options:

Positive — Some financing types such as cash advances can be super fast. You get money within hours or a day or two.

Negative — No-credit-check loans can be expensive with high fees. Interest rates and APR (annual percentage rate) are higher than traditional loans. For cash advances, you lose control. Example: payments may be automatically deducted from your bank account at inopportune times, triggering financial consequences like bounced checks.

What are Examples of Loans Requiring No Credit Check?

One example of a no-credit-check loan is PayPal Working Capital. Small businesses that use a PayPal business account to process at least $15,000 in annual payments can apply for working capital loans. Right on its website PayPal states:

No credit check. Your loan is based on your PayPal sales, so no credit check is required, and it doesn’t affect your credit score.

Square Capital is another popular example that does not require a credit check. Square Capital is open to businesses using the Square payment processing device. The way it works is that Square knows your history of payments received, and can estimate how much you will receive in the future. Your loan amount is based on your volume. Repayment will be automatically deducted from future sales, according to the Square website.

A third example of a no-credit-check option is Stripe Capital, for businesses using the Stripe online payments system.

There are many others. Check for online lenders that provide cash advances without a credit check.

Should I Use Personal Credit for Business Purposes?

No, not long term. Instead of business loans, some small business owners turn to consumer credit, such as home equity loans and personal credit cards. Getting consumer credit is often easier if your business lacks an established credit history. However, relying solely on personal credit sources is not a good long term strategy. Here’s why.

When you rely solely on personal credit cards or consumer loans in business situations, you may find yourself maxed out at the worst possible time. That’s because your business and your family have to share a single credit limit. Let’s review an example of how this limits you.

Suppose you have a personal credit card and a home equity line with a combined credit limit of $50,000. You decide to use all of that available credit to fund business expansion. The problem is, you’ve left nothing for personal purposes. Consequently, if your truck breaks down, you have no credit available for emergency repair bills. Your credit limit is fully tied up in the business.

But let’s suppose you also obtain a business loan of $60,000. That would give you a higher total credit limit overall. You would have a total of $110,000 ($50,000 personal + $60,000 business).

Do you see how having more total credit available would allow you to expand your business — without limiting funds you might need for family expenses? That’s why your long term plan should be to build business credit.

Will a Lender Ignore Poor Credit if I Offer Personal Collateral?

No. Some small business owners incorrectly assume their credit scores will not matter if they offer up personal collateral such as a motorcycle or RV. It’s important to remember that a traditional lender does not want property. The lender is in the loan business. The lender wants you to repay the money.

Back in my days in banking, we considered it a final last resort to repossess assets. That’s because there are many expenses involved in repossessing vehicles or levying against other assets like equipment. Then the lender still has to turn around and find a buyer for the assets. All the while, the collateral is depreciating in value. Months or years later the lender may recover just pennies on the dollar from liquidating collateral — and still be left with an unpaid deficiency.

That’s why most lenders check with the credit bureaus. They want to ensure borrowers have a good record of paying their debts. But don’t be confused. Yes, a lender may likely require a personal guarantee and business collateral such as a UCC filing on accounts receivables as repayment leverage. But the lender gets to this point only after first conducting a credit check.

Now, what if you own personal assets but have poor credit? You could:

Sell the items. Put an ad on Craigslist, in local classifieds or in specialty classifieds such as ATVTrader.com.

Pawn the items at a local pawn shop. No credit check is required.

Check finance companies for loans. Warning: finance companies charge high fees and offer short-term loans in amounts under $20,000. There are some decent finance companies but also bad ones. The Federal Trade Commission strongly advises against predatory financing like car title loans.

As you can see from these FAQs, your credit history — personal and business — makes a significant difference. Whether for an SBA loan, equipment financing or other business loans, credit scores matter.

Image: Depositphotos.com

This article, “What Credit Score for a Business Loan Do I Need?” was first published on Small Business Trends

https://smallbiztrends.com/

from WordPress https://ift.tt/3f9rtug via IFTTT

[businessreviewguidenow]

What Credit Score for a Business Loan Do I Need?

When it comes time to qualify for a business loan, your credit score is one of the top factors that lenders consider. We answer several frequently asked questions (FAQ) about your credit score for a business loan, below.

What is Considered a Good Credit Score?

A good personal score to get a business loan is 720 and above. A good business credit score is 80 or above.

Keep in mind, the various credit bureaus may have different scoring systems. Every lender chooses its own standards. So there may be variations in scoring levels. However, the 2020 Small Business Credit Survey (p. 12) by the U.S. Federal Reserve Banks lays out the general rule for the small business lending industry:

Low credit risk: 80–100 business credit score or 720+ personal credit score.

Medium credit risk: 50–79 business credit score or a 620–719 personal credit score.

High credit risk: 1–49 business credit score or less than 620 personal credit score.

Borrowers who are low credit risks get the most choices of loan products and the best terms. Borrowers who are high risk have few choices and will pay the most. Getting even a small loan for business could be tough for high risk borrowers.

Is There a Minimum Credit Score for a Business Loan?

Technically, there is no minimum credit score for a small business loan. Every lender has its own requirements.

That said, there are some general rules of thumb in the industry. In practice, a personal score of 620 is widely recognized as the minimum. More than likely you will need a score of 720 or above for good business loan terms.

Can I Get a Business Loan with a 600 Credit Score?

Business owners often want to know: can I get a business loan with a 600 credit score? Or with some other number such as a 500 credit score?

The answer is, it’s going to be hard to get a business loan with a score of 600 or less.

What can you do? If your need for money isn’t urgent, try to improve your credit score enough to get out of the high risk category. That’s the best long-term option. If you need money right away, look into one of the “no credit check required” loans below. Also, see: Small Business Loans with Bad Credit.

Business or Personal Score – Which Matters Most?

To get a loan for a business, most lenders will look at both your personal and business credit scores. But a good personal credit score is key.

Remember, a personal credit score and a business credit score are completely different things. They use different scoring systems. Even the credit bureaus are different. Some like Experian report both types of scores. Dun & Bradstreet is strictly business credit reports. A FICO score is a personal score.

Depending on the type of funding you apply for, most lenders will want to check both scores upon your loan application.

Now, you might wonder, why does the lender have to check personal credit scores for a business loan?

It’s due to the fact that “owners’ personal finances remain deeply intertwined with the finances of their businesses,” according to the 2020 Small Business Credit Survey. Professor Scott Shane adds that personal credit affects a business loan because so many small businesses are sole proprietors. Therefore, he says, “the business debts are not legally distinct from those of the owner.” He also notes that nationwide, more than half (56%) of small business loans will require the owner to give a personal guarantee, for much the same reason.

Bottom line: most business lenders will want to look at both your personal credit report and business credit report. But personal credit scores remain key.

What Happens if My Credit Score is Low?

If your credit score is low, your small business loan application could be denied altogether. But loan denial is just one of the adverse consequences — there are others.

According to a study by Fundera, the benefits of good business credit can be measured in dollars and cents. Bad credit often results in the following:

Smaller loan amounts. A good credit score can mean getting approval for up to 20 times more loan money than if you had a bad score!

Higher interest rates and fees.

Shorter repayment term, in turn requiring higher payments and squeezing cash flow. Per Fundera’s information, business owners with good credit got an average of about 16 years to repay their loans. People with poor credit got just 8 months.

To compare how interest rates and other terms make a difference, run scenarios on the business loan calculator.

Do I Need a Business Credit Score at All?

A business credit score is not necessary in all cases to get a small business loan.

Small business lenders are pragmatic. A business bank may recognize that a startup with very few years in business won’t have an established business credit history. Sole proprietors may lack an established business credit history because of operating the business mostly in the owner’s name. In those cases lenders will rely heavily on the owner’s personal score.

However, having a business credit history / score increases your options.

Do Lenders Count Credit Scores of Part Owners?

Yes, lenders typically count the personal credit scores of part owners who own at least 20% of the company. This includes business partners in a partnership, or any person in a corporation or LLC owning at least 20% equity. Originally a standard requirement by the Small Business Administration for SBA loans, the 20% rule has now become part of traditional underwriting standards. If more than one part owner has low scores it could be especially problematic.

Can I Get A Business Loan Without a Credit Check?

Yes, it is possible to get a business loan without a credit check. However, you will be limited to a few financing options such as invoice financing, factoring, cash advances, and certain microloans. Crowdfunding and private loans from friends and family are also possibilities.

Make sure to understand the pros and cons of no-credit-check options:

Positive — Some financing types such as cash advances can be super fast. You get money within hours or a day or two.

Negative — No-credit-check loans can be expensive with high fees. Interest rates and APR (annual percentage rate) are higher than traditional loans. For cash advances, you lose control. Example: payments may be automatically deducted from your bank account at inopportune times, triggering financial consequences like bounced checks.

What are Examples of Loans Requiring No Credit Check?

One example of a no-credit-check loan is PayPal Working Capital. Small businesses that use a PayPal business account to process at least $15,000 in annual payments can apply for working capital loans. Right on its website PayPal states:

No credit check. Your loan is based on your PayPal sales, so no credit check is required, and it doesn’t affect your credit score.

Square Capital is another popular example that does not require a credit check. Square Capital is open to businesses using the Square payment processing device. The way it works is that Square knows your history of payments received, and can estimate how much you will receive in the future. Your loan amount is based on your volume. Repayment will be automatically deducted from future sales, according to the Square website.

A third example of a no-credit-check option is Stripe Capital, for businesses using the Stripe online payments system.

There are many others. Check for online lenders that provide cash advances without a credit check.

Should I Use Personal Credit for Business Purposes?

No, not long term. Instead of business loans, some small business owners turn to consumer credit, such as home equity loans and personal credit cards. Getting consumer credit is often easier if your business lacks an established credit history. However, relying solely on personal credit sources is not a good long term strategy. Here’s why.

When you rely solely on personal credit cards or consumer loans in business situations, you may find yourself maxed out at the worst possible time. That’s because your business and your family have to share a single credit limit. Let’s review an example of how this limits you.

Suppose you have a personal credit card and a home equity line with a combined credit limit of $50,000. You decide to use all of that available credit to fund business expansion. The problem is, you’ve left nothing for personal purposes. Consequently, if your truck breaks down, you have no credit available for emergency repair bills. Your credit limit is fully tied up in the business.

But let’s suppose you also obtain a business loan of $60,000. That would give you a higher total credit limit overall. You would have a total of $110,000 ($50,000 personal + $60,000 business).

Do you see how having more total credit available would allow you to expand your business — without limiting funds you might need for family expenses? That’s why your long term plan should be to build business credit.

Will a Lender Ignore Poor Credit if I Offer Personal Collateral?

No. Some small business owners incorrectly assume their credit scores will not matter if they offer up personal collateral such as a motorcycle or RV. It’s important to remember that a traditional lender does not want property. The lender is in the loan business. The lender wants you to repay the money.

Back in my days in banking, we considered it a final last resort to repossess assets. That’s because there are many expenses involved in repossessing vehicles or levying against other assets like equipment. Then the lender still has to turn around and find a buyer for the assets. All the while, the collateral is depreciating in value. Months or years later the lender may recover just pennies on the dollar from liquidating collateral — and still be left with an unpaid deficiency.

That’s why most lenders check with the credit bureaus. They want to ensure borrowers have a good record of paying their debts. But don’t be confused. Yes, a lender may likely require a personal guarantee and business collateral such as a UCC filing on accounts receivables as repayment leverage. But the lender gets to this point only after first conducting a credit check.

Now, what if you own personal assets but have poor credit? You could:

Sell the items. Put an ad on Craigslist, in local classifieds or in specialty classifieds such as ATVTrader.com.

Pawn the items at a local pawn shop. No credit check is required.

Check finance companies for loans. Warning: finance companies charge high fees and offer short-term loans in amounts under $20,000. There are some decent finance companies but also bad ones. The Federal Trade Commission strongly advises against predatory financing like car title loans.

As you can see from these FAQs, your credit history — personal and business — makes a significant difference. Whether for an SBA loan, equipment financing or other business loans, credit scores matter.

Image: Depositphotos.com

This article, “What Credit Score for a Business Loan Do I Need?” was first published on Small Business Trends

source https://smallbiztrends.com/2020/06/credit-score-for-a-business-loan.html

from WordPress https://businessreviewguidenow.wordpress.com/2020/06/09/what-credit-score-for-a-business-loan-do-i-need/ via IFTTT

[lovelyanddespised]

I am adjusting to life in the halfway house. What I experience here feels like text being dispensed by an unreliable narrator: a friend of mine who recently left the halfway house told me that Harold, my first roommate here, had died of an OD. I got upset and shared about it at an AA meeting that night, trying to muster a public sympathy for the man who had sat beside me in that very room just last week, describing our coarse intimacy and rapport as people who had arrived to SLA the same day, little details like the blanket and razor I gave him, saying but for the grace of God and attempting to winnow away my petty resentments of the man to reveal a germ of empathy, receiving solemn shares from others at the meeting admonishing me to remember that this was hard but that if I wanted to stay sober I was going to have to step over a lot of bodies. even a conversation in the hallway afterward from some kind Kevin to steel me.

and then when I got home my housemate told me Harold was alive, he had seen him at work that day. I felt like a fool. of course I am a fool, but not everybody here knows that. and also believing someone I trust about a grave piece of news isn’t foolish. but of course it is because believing anything an addict says is foolish. which of course is not true. naturally I related this to my sponsor, who in no uncertain terms instructed me don’t expect anything from anyone. when I told my sponsor about the van driver here who was discharged after driving while fucked up on something that seemed like an opiate, and when I told my sponsor about how the five people here who have been what I would consider my best friends (given the mitigating circumstances but best-friends still) have all relapsed, he said that is what happens regularly in programs like mine, and that what would be irregular is for me to make. and also that SLA is not a program, but instead a money-making scheme (his words), which is fine if I can afford it but that there are Oxford Houses nearby which are cheaper. I told him thanks but that even though it’s very hard and expensive to live here I want to try.

at work the espresso machine is broken in ways that should qualify it to be among the subjects of rote reassurance and platitudes of ‘we can recover’ or else ‘it could always be worse’ so common to the rooms of AA. but the espresso machine is not alive. but I, living Daniel and often and otherwise Nebraska, do use non-living espresso machine (manufacturer, Astoria) to serve hundreds of drinks to living workers who are all sorts of sons moms daughters and everything. but the drinks Astoria and me made were really sick, sicker than either of us, and tasted like an ashtray. I smoke and smell cigarettes and butts and ashtrays regularly and I do not exaggerate when I say the lattes tasted like liquid ashtray. and also they smelled of it and I made liquid ashtray latte for sampling to both the back-of-house and front-of-house staff and all but one refused to drink it because it smelled so bad and the one who did drink it, I made her a mango smoothie after to apologize. and wresting what little agency we as hot drink professionals have from our relatively uncallused hands, the owner issued a fiat that we serve the drinks, which by that time were being called Marlborough-lattes by the staff, to the customers, and so we did, and said nothing, and so I have decided to seek employment at another cafe that doesn’t administer Marlborough-lattes by the carton and that doesn’t invite the excellent joke my one coworker Shane made, something to the effect of:

“Would you like a latte?”

“No thanks I don’t smoke.”

So I will wait until I can find another job for sure but I will seek another job and until then nurse my crisis of confidence, try to warp my expectations to match this warped place and continue to literally get on my knees and praise God for all the unbelievable support and kindness and grace in my life coming to me through the telephone and occasionally in person. That means the most to me. Also I got a copy of Infinite Jest and it has influenced my syntax some I’m realizing.

[unixcommerce]

What Credit Score for a Business Loan Do I Need?

When it comes time to qualify for a business loan, your credit score is one of the top factors that lenders consider. We answer several frequently asked questions (FAQ) about your credit score for a business loan, below.

What is Considered a Good Credit Score?

A good personal score to get a business loan is 720 and above. A good business credit score is 80 or above.

Keep in mind, the various credit bureaus may have different scoring systems. Every lender chooses its own standards. So there may be variations in scoring levels. However, the 2020 Small Business Credit Survey (p. 12) by the U.S. Federal Reserve Banks lays out the general rule for the small business lending industry:

Low credit risk: 80–100 business credit score or 720+ personal credit score.

Medium credit risk: 50–79 business credit score or a 620–719 personal credit score.

High credit risk: 1–49 business credit score or less than 620 personal credit score.

Borrowers who are low credit risks get the most choices of loan products and the best terms. Borrowers who are high risk have few choices and will pay the most. Getting even a small loan for business could be tough for high risk borrowers.

Is There a Minimum Credit Score for a Business Loan?

Technically, there is no minimum credit score for a small business loan. Every lender has its own requirements.

That said, there are some general rules of thumb in the industry. In practice, a personal score of 620 is widely recognized as the minimum. More than likely you will need a score of 720 or above for good business loan terms.

Can I Get a Business Loan with a 600 Credit Score?

Business owners often want to know: can I get a business loan with a 600 credit score? Or with some other number such as a 500 credit score?

The answer is, it’s going to be hard to get a business loan with a score of 600 or less.

What can you do? If your need for money isn’t urgent, try to improve your credit score enough to get out of the high risk category. That’s the best long-term option. If you need money right away, look into one of the “no credit check required” loans below. Also, see: Small Business Loans with Bad Credit.

Business or Personal Score – Which Matters Most?

To get a loan for a business, most lenders will look at both your personal and business credit scores. But a good personal credit score is key.

Remember, a personal credit score and a business credit score are completely different things. They use different scoring systems. Even the credit bureaus are different. Some like Experian report both types of scores. Dun & Bradstreet is strictly business credit reports. A FICO score is a personal score.

Depending on the type of funding you apply for, most lenders will want to check both scores upon your loan application.

Now, you might wonder, why does the lender have to check personal credit scores for a business loan?

It’s due to the fact that “owners’ personal finances remain deeply intertwined with the finances of their businesses,” according to the 2020 Small Business Credit Survey. Professor Scott Shane adds that personal credit affects a business loan because so many small businesses are sole proprietors. Therefore, he says, “the business debts are not legally distinct from those of the owner.” He also notes that nationwide, more than half (56%) of small business loans will require the owner to give a personal guarantee, for much the same reason.

Bottom line: most business lenders will want to look at both your personal credit report and business credit report. But personal credit scores remain key.

What Happens if My Credit Score is Low?

If your credit score is low, your small business loan application could be denied altogether. But loan denial is just one of the adverse consequences — there are others.

According to a study by Fundera, the benefits of good business credit can be measured in dollars and cents. Bad credit often results in the following:

Smaller loan amounts. A good credit score can mean getting approval for up to 20 times more loan money than if you had a bad score!

Higher interest rates and fees.

Shorter repayment term, in turn requiring higher payments and squeezing cash flow. Per Fundera’s information, business owners with good credit got an average of about 16 years to repay their loans. People with poor credit got just 8 months.

To compare how interest rates and other terms make a difference, run scenarios on the business loan calculator.

Do I Need a Business Credit Score at All?

A business credit score is not necessary in all cases to get a small business loan.

Small business lenders are pragmatic. A business bank may recognize that a startup with very few years in business won’t have an established business credit history. Sole proprietors may lack an established business credit history because of operating the business mostly in the owner’s name. In those cases lenders will rely heavily on the owner’s personal score.

However, having a business credit history / score increases your options.

Do Lenders Count Credit Scores of Part Owners?

Yes, lenders typically count the personal credit scores of part owners who own at least 20% of the company. This includes business partners in a partnership, or any person in a corporation or LLC owning at least 20% equity. Originally a standard requirement by the Small Business Administration for SBA loans, the 20% rule has now become part of traditional underwriting standards. If more than one part owner has low scores it could be especially problematic.

Can I Get A Business Loan Without a Credit Check?

Yes, it is possible to get a business loan without a credit check. However, you will be limited to a few financing options such as invoice financing, factoring, cash advances, and certain microloans. Crowdfunding and private loans from friends and family are also possibilities.

Make sure to understand the pros and cons of no-credit-check options:

Positive — Some financing types such as cash advances can be super fast. You get money within hours or a day or two.

Negative — No-credit-check loans can be expensive with high fees. Interest rates and APR (annual percentage rate) are higher than traditional loans. For cash advances, you lose control. Example: payments may be automatically deducted from your bank account at inopportune times, triggering financial consequences like bounced checks.

What are Examples of Loans Requiring No Credit Check?

One example of a no-credit-check loan is PayPal Working Capital. Small businesses that use a PayPal business account to process at least $15,000 in annual payments can apply for working capital loans. Right on its website PayPal states:

No credit check. Your loan is based on your PayPal sales, so no credit check is required, and it doesn’t affect your credit score.

Square Capital is another popular example that does not require a credit check. Square Capital is open to businesses using the Square payment processing device. The way it works is that Square knows your history of payments received, and can estimate how much you will receive in the future. Your loan amount is based on your volume. Repayment will be automatically deducted from future sales, according to the Square website.

A third example of a no-credit-check option is Stripe Capital, for businesses using the Stripe online payments system.

There are many others. Check for online lenders that provide cash advances without a credit check.

Should I Use Personal Credit for Business Purposes?

No, not long term. Instead of business loans, some small business owners turn to consumer credit, such as home equity loans and personal credit cards. Getting consumer credit is often easier if your business lacks an established credit history. However, relying solely on personal credit sources is not a good long term strategy. Here’s why.

When you rely solely on personal credit cards or consumer loans in business situations, you may find yourself maxed out at the worst possible time. That’s because your business and your family have to share a single credit limit. Let’s review an example of how this limits you.

Suppose you have a personal credit card and a home equity line with a combined credit limit of $50,000. You decide to use all of that available credit to fund business expansion. The problem is, you’ve left nothing for personal purposes. Consequently, if your truck breaks down, you have no credit available for emergency repair bills. Your credit limit is fully tied up in the business.

But let’s suppose you also obtain a business loan of $60,000. That would give you a higher total credit limit overall. You would have a total of $110,000 ($50,000 personal + $60,000 business).

Do you see how having more total credit available would allow you to expand your business — without limiting funds you might need for family expenses? That’s why your long term plan should be to build business credit.

Will a Lender Ignore Poor Credit if I Offer Personal Collateral?

No. Some small business owners incorrectly assume their credit scores will not matter if they offer up personal collateral such as a motorcycle or RV. It’s important to remember that a traditional lender does not want property. The lender is in the loan business. The lender wants you to repay the money.

Back in my days in banking, we considered it a final last resort to repossess assets. That’s because there are many expenses involved in repossessing vehicles or levying against other assets like equipment. Then the lender still has to turn around and find a buyer for the assets. All the while, the collateral is depreciating in value. Months or years later the lender may recover just pennies on the dollar from liquidating collateral — and still be left with an unpaid deficiency.

That’s why most lenders check with the credit bureaus. They want to ensure borrowers have a good record of paying their debts. But don’t be confused. Yes, a lender may likely require a personal guarantee and business collateral such as a UCC filing on accounts receivables as repayment leverage. But the lender gets to this point only after first conducting a credit check.

Now, what if you own personal assets but have poor credit? You could:

Sell the items. Put an ad on Craigslist, in local classifieds or in specialty classifieds such as ATVTrader.com.

Pawn the items at a local pawn shop. No credit check is required.

Check finance companies for loans. Warning: finance companies charge high fees and offer short-term loans in amounts under $20,000. There are some decent finance companies but also bad ones. The Federal Trade Commission strongly advises against predatory financing like car title loans.

As you can see from these FAQs, your credit history — personal and business — makes a significant difference. Whether for an SBA loan, equipment financing or other business loans, credit scores matter.

Image: Depositphotos.com

This article, “What Credit Score for a Business Loan Do I Need?” was first published on Small Business Trends

https://smallbiztrends.com/

from WordPress https://ift.tt/3f9rtug via IFTTT