#also my headcanon as to how John and Bobby met

[ilovejohnwinchester]

Thinking about early days on the road before John started leaving Sam with Dean and was still going around and talking to hunters trying to learn everything he could. Imagine you’re some hunter and you get a call that the new guy in town wants to meet at the roadhouse and talk demons or werewolves or witches or whatever, then he shows up with a 4-year-old and a baby. He’s real serious and writes down everything you say in his journal but he also has to get up halfway through to sing and bounce a cranky baby to sleep on his shoulder while the kid stares at you with a mouth full of French fries. No wonder every hunter in John’s generation seems to remember Dean and Sam whether Dean and Sam know them or not.

[insertdeeplyrics]

On the ending of Supernatural

Hi, I’ve never actually posted anything on Tumblr of my own creation (I mostly reblog stuff), but I’ve just seen the ending of Supernatural, and given that this is where I’ve been fed my SPN content, it felt right to share my thoughts here. I’m sure nobody is going to read this, but whatever, I just need to get this out of my chest. Sorry in advance if this is too long, but I have to type this out if I want to move on.

I still need to take some time to process everything that’s happened, because it is a lot. I did have my hopes up for the finale, thinking that Cas would at least show up, but like many of the fans, I was let down.

So I guess that would be the first issue I had with the episode. Regardless of what Dean felt towards Cas, if he reciprocated his feelings or not (which he totally did, I mean, we have all been watching the same show for 12 fucking years, and if you don’t believe me, there are plenty of metas that would support this statement), he still is his best friend and it doesn’t sit right with me the fact that he doesn’t even try to find a way to rescue Cas from the Empty. And okay, maybe he didn’t, make Cas got resurrected by Jack, then why the hell wasn’t he on the final episode? He was a pivotal character for the series, I mean, the proof is in the ratings: Season 7, when he was killed off to apparently never return, the ratings were at their lowest. The show may have started as just Dean and Sam, but over the years it became much bigger than them, and it is so disappointing that the show runners failed to acknowledge it. But I’ll get back to this point later.

Okay, I need to talk about Dean’s death, the only part of the episode that made me cry, because my poor baby had to suffer so much! Like, when he started saying that Sam never put up with John’s crap (which reinforces my headcanon that John was abusive towards the boys) and how much he admired him for it, my heart just shattered. I just love Dean Winchester so freaking much, and they did him so dirty... Don’t get me wrong, Jensen and Jared’s acting was 10/10, like, I thought I had a grip of myself and then Sam started crying and tears came back to my eyes. Nonetheless, I felt that the scene was so freaking long! I mean, Dean was dying, and he had time to make a 10 minutes-long speech! C’mon! Also, I get that Sam and Dean’s relationship is quite deep and strong and whatever, but I felt a bit unconformable watching it: it didn’t feel like a brotherly goodbye, more like a lover’s one. They were too touchy and intimate, and, overall, their relationship from this point on was coded as a romantic one, in my opinion. And Chuck, did I hate it! I have an older brother and I know what it is like to be close to your sibling and to love him more than anything else in the world, but the way they portrayed their relationship on this last episode felt incest-y, which makes me believe that this scene was originally written with another character in mind (cough CAS cough) or the writers don’t know the difference between romantic and brotherly love. To finish off, the way they killed off Dean??? I mean, I did expect Dean to die, but this was such a horrible and ridiculous way to go... I would have accepted it if he died actually fighting, but impaled??? After all he’s been through, after fighting so many demons, angels and deities, that’s how he dies??? That just felt cheap and rushed. Dean did not deserve that ending and I refuse to accept it. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge the existence of this whole fucking mess of an episode. Also, I just can’t believe that no one showed up to Dean’s funeral. I just can’t. I get that maybe it was difficult to bring in a lot of actors due to the pandemic, but they could have added them on post-production...

Next, we have Sam’s ending. He quits hunting and finally obtains his white-picket fence life. I did like the fact that he honored all of his friends and family that he lost along the way, especially Dean. Like, yes, if my brother died, I would like to keep a token (don’t know if that’s the actual word for it, my first language is not English), to have something with me that reminded me of him and to have him with me wherever I go. And I did like that he named his son Dean, in honor of his brother. However, we don’t know how he met his wife, we don’t even know who she is. They set up Sameileen for what?? Like, Sam and Eileen deserved better, tbh. And, again, even with Covid restrictions they could have done something to signal that Sam got married to Eileen, you don’t need the actor there. In fact, we never actually found out what happened to her, and just like I can’t believe that Dean didn’t even try to save Cas from the Empty, I can’t believe that Sam didn’t reach out to Eileen. Furthermore, the montage with his son felt cheap and a way to try to appeal to the audience’s emotions... (Btw, as a side note, the grey wig and the glasses, my god, they did Jared dirty 😂😂). But it wasn’t doing it for me, I didn’t care much for the kid, and while I do believe that was always going to be Sam’s ending, I didn’t like how it was executed.

And the worst part of it all: that suuuuuper long scene with Dean driving in Heaven, waiting for Sam. They could have used that time to show something more meaningful, even to develop a bit more Sam’s new life, how he adjusted to domesticity and fatherhood and all that crap. Or, I don’t know, A TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 REUNION??? And I guess this is my biggest issue with the whole episode. I get it, Sam and Dean are the central characters, the ones that started it all, but family don’t end with blood, and they were not the only ones who deserved a goodbye. They had formed so many bonds and friendships over the years, and to not have them address them on the final episode just feels infuriating. Especially Cas. His arc was not finished, he deserved to be on the finale. We never got Dean’s reaction to his confession, we don’t know how he felt about him, nor did Cas get to say goodbye to any other character. How did he get out of the Empty? What is he doing now? Is he still an angel? Also, he gave his life to save Dean, only for Dean to be killed not long after. My headcanon that is helping me cope with Dean’s death is thinking that he was so quick to accept his death because he was hoping to reunite in Heaven with Castiel. A girl can dream, ok??? But also, what about Jack? He is the new God, but I highly doubt it that he won’t drop by the Bunker from time to time, after all, Sam and Dean (AND CAS, ESPECIALLY CAS) raised him. And Charlie? Did she get back with Stevie? Did she and the boys go for drinks from time to time? And Jody? Donna? Claire? Sorry to be so repetitive, but I just can’t understand why the writers thought that these characters weren’t important enough to deserve a spot on the finale, and not just an off-hand mention (and not even all of them got that). Of course, the brothers are the main characters and their goodbye must be the longest and the most emotional of them all, but like I said before, the show stopped being just about the Winchesters on season 3, when Bobby was first introduced, maybe even 4, with Cas.

Overall, the finale left a lot of questions unanswered, most of them regarding secondary characters (but not less important for that!), completely destroyed Sam and Dean’s character development (Dean never got to be free, like he had been fighting for all season, probably all his life; Sam’s development is non-existing, as he ended up as he would’ve if he never had gotten on that hunting trip with Dean 15 years ago), and completely disregarded all the themes they had been setting up this season, probably on previous ones as well. It is sad knowing that the writers, either don’t know the show good enough to give it a proper goodbye, or they just didn’t care to do so. I don’t know who’s to blame here (definitely not the actors, though, probably someone higher up the chain), but I just know that I am so fucking disappointed. I expected more from the last episode of a 15-season TV show, one that has been part of my life for 7 years. I guess, that despite all of it, I can’t hate Supernatural. Maybe I was not a hardcore fan like some people on this site, but I did care for the characters and what happened to them. This is the show that introduced me to the world of shipping (Destiel will always hold a special place in my heart, it doesn’t matter how badly their relationship was treated, as well as the characters) and I got to discover one of my favorite characters, Dean Winchester. He is just such so complex, one that I relate to on so many levels, and his relationship with Cas has been the source of many short stories that I’ve never posted anywhere, but that have made me take up writing again. That’s the reason why I love the show so much, it has helped me tap into my creativeness and go back to writing, a passion of mine that I seem to have forgotten over the years. Anyways, maybe one day I’ll publish some of those stories, and maybe even write my own fix-it fanfic, but right now, I can’t deal with anything that has to do with the show, I am too hurt. Maybe once the five stages of grief are over, I might give it a try and read all of the amazing codas and fanfics that I’m sure will be posted here or on AO3. But for now, Supernatural is dead and gone, and I don’t want to talk nor think about it anymore. I’m done wasting my time here, because I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing this past 7 years after watching this crap of a finale.

To finish this long rant off, I just want to say thank you to some meta-writers, the true heroes of the fandom. Thanks to them, I carried on watching the show, because they made me have hope that things will get better. They are the ones that have made this experience worth something, and even though I’ve never spoken to any of them, I see you and I love you. Thanks for everything ❤. 

@tinkdw @charlie-minion @dotthings @heliodean @verobatto-angelxhunter @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

[fandom-hoarder]

listen I have so many questions about Stanford Sam, like this kid who was raised in the wild, barely aware of acceptable social conduct arrives with his 2 ectoplasm stained t-shirts at his dorm and like ????? is he very aware of it at first? or does he think he's hiding it well? and like moving in with Jessica?????? he doesn't know how to water plants and that you have to pay electricity bills ??? Like obviously he's not stupid, we know that!! But there are certain things about ordinary everyday life that are just impossible to pick up when you're raised like that. And this is just surface-level stuff, like I feel overwhelmed just thinking about how many tiny things I do in a day, just normal life stuff that I've always done, that Sam would be like ???? so weirded out by, or maybe creepily fascinated ??? Would he try and copy everyone around him maybe??? and then all the odd things that he'd probably do !!! like just basic marine survival nonsense he's dad probably taught him applied in mundane life situations that would make him stand out and he wouldn't even notice !!! And he thinks he's doing fine, people seem to accept him, but then suddenly someone mentions like... TRL or something and he's like ??? and then Dean picks him up and it all falls to pieces, because it's so EASY and ingrained and he doesn't have to pretend and it puts it into perspective how not okay he was doing at Stanford even when it felt like he was ?? god I'm just rambling, like I barely even have headcanons, I'm just so overwhelmed by all the possibilities of how this would play out !!!!

Holy crap, first I wanna apologize if this has been sitting here awhile. The Ask notification location in settings instead of notifications on the app is so weird and I get them so rarely I don’t think to check. (and the website shows that I have 4 but this one is the only one it’ll show? How does tumblr work? Oh yeah, it doesn’t lol.)

Anyway, I have so many thoughts on this! But they’re not necessarily cohesive?! Like first we all know Sam is super smart. He’s curious. He’s inquisitive. But he’s also sheltered in weird ways. There are things he’s known about the world that most people would never know about, let alone kids his age at any given time; yet the existence of those things--and the understanding that therefore potentially anything could be real--also lends itself to keeping him childlike--he had an “imaginary friend” at age nine and believed in the Easter bunny through age eleven, which is much later than the average probably???

By middle school, he definitely would’ve been feeling the strains of his otherness around his classmates, even if they weren’t constantly moving around, but of course the nomadic lifestyle just makes it even harder.

I think Sam is a very observant person, though. He figured out something was up with their dad and The Truth at age 8! So people watching is Sam’s saving grace for getting along in the mundane world. He definitely learns to mask his otherness by mimicking mundane people.

And I get sidetracked here because then I start thinking about exactly how their childhood went. We know John used Pastor Jim and Bobby as childcare/parenting support to some degree. I don’t think we really know anything about Caleb, maybe I’m forgetting something, but my headcanon is that Caleb functioned as a “fun younger uncle” type to Sam and Dean: cool, responsible in a pinch, but mostly not given childcare responsibilities because of his wilding tendencies. (they learn swears accidentally from Bobby and John, but Caleb TEACHES them.) Sam and Dean didn’t even know about Missouri until s1, so she’s off the caretaker list. They had that babysitter they met up with in uhh... Swap Meat! But largely we assume that Dean had a lot of the caretaking responsibilities; maybe with temporary babysitters in other places the same as Swap Meat.

And lbh you just can’t expect well-rounded, informed child-rearing from a kid only four years older. There’s a reason I associate a lot of weechester flashbacks with Sammy watching TV like in Something Wicked, because literally little siblings are A LOT and sometimes you just want them to sit still and quiet and leave you alone for a bit omg.(wait, give me a minute, I’m imagining little 6 year old Dean on the phone with Bobby because John ran out for food supplies and isn’t back yet and Sammy is still asleep but Dean’s creeped out in the longterm room they’re staying in because he KNOWS about the supernatural already. but then bobby gets on John’s case about it--and instead of never leaving Dean alone with baby Sam again, Dean learns from John’s belt not to call anyone when he’s left alone unless it’s an ACTUAL EMERGENCY. Or maybe, because marine, John doesn’t use his belt; maybe he uses PT instead and every time Dean thinks about calling Bobby for that reason again, his abs ache from the memory of punishment situps, or his arms get suddenly shaky thinking about doing pushups til he just couldn’t anymore.)

I haven’t read all of John’s Journal, and I know it’s not actually canon, but IIRC the bits that I’ve read from the wiki show John and the boys staying with a family friend in Lawrence for a few weeks, MAYBE a few months before John visits Missouri and everything STARTS. I think if he hadn’t picked up and left with them then, the family friends would’ve been contacting CPS because they’re starting to think John’s grief is making him unhinged. (I really want to read the journal tbh--there are bits I’ve seen that make me fantasize even more about boyking!sam storylines... but I’m getting even more off track.)

So we’ve got this weird/interesting dichotomy of kids that are groomed with these hyperspecialiizations, too weird to really fit in with other kids but sheltered from the actual hunter life also--like the fact that there ARE other hunters, like as a THING, not just their dad’s rando friends that, as kids, they may just assume know about the supernatural because their dad told them! (jfc they’re SO PRIMED to be each other’s entire world omg I’m gonna die)

So like, by being quiet and observant (an imaginative kid, by nature and by nurture as John starts to take Dean out more and leave Sam alone with his own thoughts), Sam would pick up a lot of things. But they’re never anywhere long enough for him to fully grasp everything and he would definitely suffer a bit from the Dunning-Kruger effect--not having enough knowledge about a thing, but having just enough that you don’t realize you don’t.

Let’s say Sam observes and picks up some things about normal residential life by being around a few mundane babysitters. The nature of John’s “work” would mean that, even if they were in a more in-home-daycare-like situation, they’d be likely to be the “after hours” kinds of kids that are still there when everyone else is picked up and the babysitter would normally be doing their normal life stuff: changing clothes, cleaning up from the daycare kids, making dinner, etc (sam and dean would definitely help, either out of kindness or duty or because it’s agreed that if they help out John will get a discount on their care costs--don’t mind me, just projecting my childhood onto the winchesters hahh. I’m NOT going to go off on a tangent about Dean already having so much experience caring for babies cuz of Sam. He definitely doesn’t have all the under-4s following him around begging for attention while he burps one of the three babies their babysitter cares for after a bottle. it DEFINITELY didn’t make Sam (age 4, 5, 6 maybe) jealous enough to repress the memory so that over a decade later he would claim that Dean doesn’t even LIKE kids.)

Uhh... what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Sam. Observing normal life. Anyway so maybe after things settle for the day, sometimes a babysitter will sit at the dining table with the weekly bills and their checkbook and do the bills. And Sam kind of loves things like this: it feels like something important; it feels like playing school before he was old enough to go (quick aside here: John totally enrolled Sam in school early, both because that’s the only way his age works with canon timeline and because it would make life easier if Sam was in school just like Dean--more cost-and-time efficient.) And maybe Sam goes and sits at the table and just. Watches.

And then he asks questions. When he’s curious, he doesn’t keep his questions to himself as a child (unless the subject is expressly forbidden: see Dean’s reaction when Sam brings up Mary). But his age would inevitably limit the scope and understanding of those questions. Adults are generally disinclined to fully explain the adult world to children, especially when it comes to finances, and in the 80s and early 90s?? With most of the adults of that time that I knew, those kinds of questions were considered rude and nosey. He might understand that adults have to pay bills; he may even understand something about utilities; but he wouldn’t necessarily understand all the requirements and frequency.

Though their nomadic lifestyle wasn’t stable by any “normal” definition, one thing to be said about mostly living out of motels is that your power is never cut off, or your water, or your heat. There’s always television, usually with cable. And the only form of payment you see going on is dad handing over cash or plastic at the front desk--one and done. My headcanon usually disallows the idea that they would’ve squatted in empty houses when Sam and Dean were kids (John makes plenty of bad decisions but I just don’t see him staying in a place without power or water with CHILDREN. Teenagers? SURE.) They would learn how to clean house and make proper beds even when it wasn’t always necessary with housekeeping available--both because of John’s military parenting style and because John would be most likely to opt out of daily housekeeping to lower the risk of having people ask questions.

So yeah, there are so many little intricacies of the mundane world that Sam wouldn’t be conditioned to even think about. Even the realization that he doesn’t know enough about regular life, as he grows up and longs more and more for that very thing because he’s never had more than a glimpse of it, wouldn’t necessarily be enough.

Would his natural curiosity lead him to ask those questions? He can’t ask John because he already asked Dean and got a dismissive answer because ‘what does any of that matter, Sam? we’ll never have to worry about that shit.’ and if Dean seems borderline offended by the sheer audacity of the questions in the first place, he knows John will be worse.

In the 90s, life skills were still kind of a thing in most U.S. schools. But in a really inconsistent way. Sometimes it was in health class curriculum; sometimes your math class would actually do a short focus on balancing a checkbook and banking if there was a chapter, but a lot of times those parts get skipped. You never use the whole textbook. Sometimes life skills was only in Home Ec, but H.E. was completely elective in my area when I was in middle school (the same exact years Sam would’ve been in middle school) and I’m assuming the same for most of the U.S. Sam may have taken it, or he may have taken something else instead (wood shop or computer class were the alternatives in my area). Maybe the nature of school hopping meant that he HAD to enroll in Home Ec, because resources for the other electives were finite, but somehow always managed to miss the bills and budgeting portion. Maybe he couldn’t even take Home Ec due to class size or resources and they just put him in a study hall for that period. (Maybe they put him in the computer class, where he mostly does book work until he gets a turn on the PC he has to share with his classmate.)

As an observant person, Sam totally would’ve known about TRL, I think. There’s no way at least one group of kids in the halls or lunchroom wasn’t talking about it every day in high school, especially with the advent of Britney Spears and Eminem and Jesse freakin Camp. Maybe he goes to someone’s house to try to hang out or to study and they turn it on and Sam watches raptly because it’s such a strange phenomenon and he hardly ever gets to hear new music, much less watch the videos. But he can’t actually get into it because the fangirls are annoying and his analytical mind won’t let him suspend his disbelief about how the voting works. (Maybe he tries giving it another shot in their motel room sometimes, but Dean vetoes that bubblegum pop shit IMMEDIATELY--no Sam, look, that shit isn’t REAL music; most of them don’t even play instruments. And it’s really not fair because Dean TOTALLY watched MTV’s The Grind in the early 90s for his fix of suggestively gyrating bodies before he figured out how to access porn without getting caught.)

Sam and Dean actually make a LOT of pop culture references, which always fascinates me. I imagine they did a lot of TV watching and VCR/movie renting in the times they weren’t working on a case with/for their dad (projecting again; my dad’s house was a very boring place on his weekends). The nature of Dean’s idolization of John and disinclination to let Sam have his own separate likes means they have a mix of age-appropriate pop culture knowledge and a lot of Boomer-era TV and movie knowledge--Dean more than Sam, maybe when it comes to things like cowboy movies and TV lol.

Anyway, as the realization that he doesn’t really know how anything works crept in, maybe Sam would try to lowkey create situations where he could ask his friends/his friends’ parents those normal life kind of questions. But maybe after his first few tries, he’s become so uncomfortably aware of how weird he is to even need to ask that he stops asking. Maybe he starts to tap into his specialized skills and starts snooping/creeping around their houses to try to glean knowledge. Maybe he scours the library for books on ‘what you need to know for life’--I have the urge now to do a google search on actual titles of books on this subject that may have existed at the time, but I’ve already spent a lot of time on this without going into research spirals. lol Maybe he can’t find exactly the things that are pertinent--still doesn’t fully realize that, though--and in the meantime his cache of esoteric knowledge continues to build.

So he gets to Stanford and he mostly understands how the financing works; enough to get by with enrollment and stuff. He understands that he’ll need to get a job of some sort to make ends meet because he’s there to be normal and normal people don’t pay for everything with scammed credit cards and billiards money; he knows that much. But he doesn’t really know about wages, minimum wage, freaking payroll taxes, etc. (I feel like Dean would’ve had odd jobs as a teen, some legit some under the table, but that the nature of John (and Dean) wanting to keep Sam home and safe would’ve made the subject of Sam working through high school a banned topic. And anyway, much as I’m not a fan of the characterization in Drag Me Away (From You), what Dean said to Sam about the impossibility of getting into college with the way his academic career would look is accurate. So Sam would’ve probably spent most of his free time on academics so he could get the fuck out, rather than trying to get a job.

Maybe having to buy his textbooks would be a surprise? John probably always qualified for Sam and Dean to be on free lunch/free book programs in public school, not to mention the likelihood of the records being at least partially counterfeit. But at the same time, John was probably very hands off with their school enrollment crap once the boys were old enough to handle it themselves, so Sam would at least have an inkling.

Sam would be a weird mix of no-boundaries and too-secretive, and his first attempts at acting normal would be a bit too put-on. He’s got experience acting per 1x16 (oh, maybe he did drama instead of home ec somewhere lol), but acting on stage is so much different to acting in a more personal setting. On stage you have to exaggerate your movements to project all the way to the back. Early-Stanford Sam, I guess, is a bit like Soulless Sam. He knows there’s something off about him compared to the people around him, and he just does his best to pretend he’s the same as them without calling attention to his differences, which ends up coming off robotic. A little Stepford. A little uncanny valley. He learns to bite his tongue every time he’s about to let something normal only to his family roll off it; learns to be even more vague than he used to be, because now he’s around strangers ALL THE TIME.

At some point, Sam has a little-but-big breakdown about a payment he missed or the fact that he had to steal shampoo because he didn’t even have toiletries in his budget and couldn’t even afford a bottle of White Rain or Suave, so since he was stealing anyway he got the special brand he really likes and then feels too awful to even use it and doesn’t wash his hair for a week. Brady takes pity on the cute but hapless puppy-boy who is a physical and academic behemoth but has obviously been living off-grid on some kind of militia commune for the past forever--at first the rumor was that he was Amish on rumspringa but the amount of times Sam has busted out some supremely random survival knowledge in casual conversation changes that rumor quickly--and has no understanding of the world. And by the time he moves off-campus with Jess, Sam has this masking thing down pretty well; he can almost forget he’s not normal sometimes and Jess only knows about his previous helplessness in a cute, anecdotal kind of way.

And then Dean comes and gets him and Sam’s all “you and Dad still doing credit card scams?” and Dean’s like “well hunting doesn’t pay the bills.”

AND SAM’S LIKE, NEITHER DO YOU DEAN! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT BILLS ARE?! BECAUSE I DIDN’T AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW!

[natsusmaingirl]

Supernatural Season Finale

Hey guys! Yes, I know this isn’t a imagine or headcanon, but this is something that I really wanted to talk about. I promise that I will get back to the imagines and headcanons soon. I’ve just been busy with my family since Christmas is coming up. As the title says, I am going to be talking about the season finale to Supernatural. THIS IS A SPOILER WARNING, IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE SEASON FINALE OF SPN AND YOU PLAN TO WATCH THE SHOW OR ARE CURRENTLY WATCHING THE SHOW THEN DO NOT READ!

I have seen multiple people say that they hate how the show ended. They hate how the brothers died in the ways that they did. They think that the ending was just disappointing and they should’ve done something more exciting or give the brothers a happy ending. I have a completely different opinion. I actually really liked the ending (Please, don’t kill me). People are obviously going to be upset that I am saying this, but I still like it despite what other people might think.

I agree that I was a little sad that they didn’t die in saving the world or something like that, but I’m not upset to the point where I hate the whole finale. I honestly think the ending for Dean was to be expected and what Sam did after was the be expected. The boys have said multiple times that if they were going to die then it was going to be on a case. They’ve said this since the beginning of the show. I’m surprised that a lot more people didn’t see this end coming.

Dean died doing what he said he was going to die doing. He might not have died saving the world, but he did die saving the lives of the little kids that were taken. I feel like that was a fitting end for him. He died doing his job. Saving people, hunting things. Sure, it would’ve been better if he died saving the world, but the ending of the show wasn’t as bad as everyone is making it out to be. This is just something that means a lot to people so I don’t blame them for being a little disappointed.

It was to be expected that Sam would quit hunting after that happened. He didn’t bring Dean back because so many bad things have always happened every time one of them was brought back from the dead. Besides, Dean wouldn’t have wanted to be brought back if it meant that they had to deal with another threat. Sam obviously would have quit hunting after his brother died because hunting has taken so much from him. It has taken his family, his friends, and a normal life from him. Why would he stay in something that would constantly hurt him? Sure, saving people is an upside, but there are so many other hunters that are saving people everyday.

I loved that Dean was able to reunite with Bobby in heaven. I’m a little disappointed that they didn’t show Mary and John, but we can’t really do anything about it now. I’m also upset that they didn’t try getting Cas back, but it would have been close to impossible when it came to getting him back seeing as he made a deal with the Empty.

I think it was amazing that they gave Sam a normal life because that’s why he left hunting all those years ago. He wanted to go to college and be a lawyer because that was his passion and it was normal. I obviously wish that Dean was able to have a normal life, but his death was to be expected. I’ve been expecting it since the beginning of the show. I love that Sam named his son after his brother and I think it was great that he died from old age (Or was it illness? I’m not really sure). Sam was able to die in a normal way instead of dying by the hands of a monster.

The fact that the brothers met in heaven at the place where they’ve said they were going to go to was so beautiful. I was so emotional watching it. I also really love the message at the end of the episode that they gave to us. I feel like some of us might be hating on the ending a little bit too much, but it is to be expected since this show means a lot to people (Me included). But we have to remember that the actors have worked so hard on this show and they have worked their asses off to make the show as amazing as it is. They are satisfied with the ending and that should be enough.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be upset over the ending. You can be as upset as you want. I’m just wanting you to be a little more understanding when it comes to the ending. Dean died the way he always said he was going to. Sam was actually able to have a normal life where he had a kid and a wife and where he was able to die a normal way instead of being killed by a monster then his body be burned in the middle of the woods. The brothers still made their way back to each other in heaven and it might have taken a little bit longer for Sam to get there, but at least they were able to see each other again. The ending wasn’t as bas as everyone is making it out to be in my opinion, but I don’t fault them for their opinion. Like I’ve said multiple times, this show means a lot to people so of course it’s only natural that they want a better ending.

[galadrieljones]

About the Muse

thank you for the tag, Idrelle! This is just for muses, not OCs, so I’m gonna do it for Mary Beth Gaskill, from my RDR2 fic The Lily Farm. ^_^

― your muse’s name:

Mary Beth Gaskill

― one picture / faceclaim of your muse:

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

She was born in a little town outside Kansas City called Shawnee, where she lived with her mother, a baker, her father, a blacksmith, and her big brother Bobby. After her father was killed by robbers on the road, and her mother died of Typhoid, her brother got a job at a coal mine, and Mary Beth was sent to live at an orphanage. When her brother later died in a tragic accident, Mary Beth ran away from the orphanage at the age of thirteen and fell in with a madam in Kansas City who took her under her wing, teaching her to pickpocket and then later how to use her wiles as a conwoman and a thief.

When she was nineteen, she met Dutch van der Linde at a saloon where she tried to pickpocket him, but he caught her--the first man in quite a while to do so. He convinced her to come with him back to his camp in Leawood, where she, getting tired of living and hustling alone, and worried she would one day soon have to resort to working johns in saloons, became a member of his outlaw gang.

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Writing. Mary Beth likes writing stories. For a long time while in the gang, she would try to get Arthur to draw pictures for her stories, but he was often too stoic or shy to do so.

Reading. Mary Beth will read anything she can get her hands on. She likes Jane Austen best when it comes to novelists, but she also loves poetry, and she is oddly into nature and botanical guides. She also likes reading about history. She feigned an interest in philosophy for a long time simply to please Dutch, who she felt she owed greatly, but she’s not actually much for abstract thinking.

Gardening and berry-picking. Mary Beth retained her mother’s old methods for baking and loves making pies. She is a skilled forager and has read many books on the subject, meaning she knows where all the best berries are at pretty much any time of the year.

― seven people your muse loves/likes:

Arthur Morgan

Abigail Roberts

Karen Jones

Tilly Jackson

Jack Marston

Kieran Duffy

Sadie Adler

― a phobia your muse has:

I’m not sure Mary Beth has any phobias. She does have some social and performance anxiety though, and she does not like to be the center of attention. She also is pretty afraid of Miss Grimshaw lol.

tags for @thevikingwoman @a-shakespearean-in-paris @buttsonthebeach @ladylike-foxes @ellstersmash @solverne-02 and @bearly-tolerable <3

[charley1979]

Even when I lose, I win

A/N:  I wrote this fic after the finale ripped out my heart.  We see Bobby and then Crowley dies?  Nope, must fix!  Because they are my OTP. Anyway, after I heard about the “Even when I lose, I win” line that Mark S. wanted and was cut, it just kinda fit.  This is unbeta’d, so sorry about that.  

Kinda ties in with the Season 13 headcanon @t-a-r-d-i-sbluelove put out there so hope you like.  Also, @rayhne (I think you’ve seen it?) and @lillianorchid.

Warnings:  mild swearing, fluff

Words:  1864

Pairings:  Crowley x Bobby

Also on Ao3

Crowley was crouched down behind one of the dunes, blocking him from the portal.  It was imperative that Lucifer not see him or the trap early.  He was setting up the spell when he felt someone behind him and froze them as he heard a gun being cocked.

His eyes fell onto a face he hadn’t thought he’d see again, since it had ascended to heaven.  It was as if a ghost stared him in the face, and in a way… it was. As he came out of his reverie he noticed Bobby’s lips moving and Crowley just managed to move as the knife flew at him.  The old bastard had used a spell, and a powerful one at that. “Bloody Hell.”  He eyed up the old hunter.  “Some things never change, no matter what world you’re from.”   “You another friend of those two idjits from the other side?”  Bobby growled, levelling his gun at what he knew was a demon, sans horns. “Don’t know if they’d call me a friend, per se.”  Crowley said, keeping an eye on the man and the portal.  “More an ally of use.” Bobby’s eyebrow went up at that as he got a better look at the demon and the spell he was setting up.  There was something off, could feel it in his gut.  This demon didn’t act like any of the ones he’d killed over the years. “Who’s using who?”  He growled, bring the gun up at the shifty eyes.  “That spell takes a life to work.” Crowley’s eyes focused in at that but then he heard them coming through the portal.  He crouched down quickly, putting the last touches to the spell while keeping an eye on the human. “I’m using me.”  It came out exasberated and quiet, just loud enough for Bobby to hear. “Now, if you’ll be on your way, I’m in a bit of a rush here.”

Bobby’s eyes narrowed and he glared for a moment before he backed away quickly.  He could hear the boy, Sam, talking to Lucifer and then running.  He made sure he was hidden but kept his gun trained on the demon.  Dean may have Rufus but he was far from Bobby’s only gun.  He wasn’t leaving those two with that shifty eyed bastard.  He knew that spell and there was no way a demon would sacrifice himself. But that’s just what the smarmy devil did.  From his perch, it wasn’t hard to see that neither of those boys expected that play, either.  Bobby just sat back on his haunches silently.  He watched them run back through, the angel stab Lucifer, the archangel going back through and then it was quiet.  Clearly the spell didn’t work, at least, not as quick as when it was a human life. He couldn’t explain it, but, on a hunch he ran out and grabbed the fallen demon. He removed the angel blade, slung him over his shoulder, and got back behind cover just as Lucifer and a woman came flying through the portal.  Finally it closed and the archangel started yelling like hell’s own voice.   Bobby took advantage of the distraction to get moving, going as fast as he could with the dead body to one of his bunkers. It wasn’t that far but he wanted a secure location before he took a closer look.  He could swear he’d heard the demon add in the incantation for a strong healing spell right before he had made his presence known. Once he got in the bunker he laid the body on a cot, checking for life signs but seeing none.  He huffed and went over to the book shelf on the other side of the room, checking what demon lore and grimoires he had there.  He’d found the healing spell and was reading through it when he felt a breeze go through the bunker, as unnatural as all hell.  He jumped up from where he’d been leaning, gun pointed at the demon slowly coming around. A Crowley opened his eyes he realized (1) he’d been moved and (2) there was someone pointing a gun at him.  He pulled in some power to shield himself and began to take in where he was. Concrete and thick walls, no windows that he could sense.  ‘Lovely,’ he thought, ‘another bunker.’  He felt out for who was leveling the gun at him, though he had a suspicion, and he just smirked when it was confirmed.

“Are you really going to use that on me, darling?  You act as if you’ve never seen one of us blink out.”  

Though, it would have been very helpful if Mother had bothered to tell him about the time it took to fully recover from the faked death spell. Bobby snorted and lowered the gun.  He’d watched as the black-eyed bugger had taken stock of where he was.  Not sure how he felt that he’d obviously been in a bunker before, and not pleasantly if he was to guess. He handed over a canteen out of habit and cocked an eyebrow as the demon looked at it suspiciously. “Seen plenty of you black eyed bastards blink out.  It’s the coming back that’s new.”  Bobby paused as Crowley coughed.  “Taking it that spell wasn’t as smooth as you thought?  And it’s just water, you ass. I know what you are.” Crowley met his eyes and took a sip.  When it didn’t burn, he drank enough to clear the dust from his throat, taking in the old hunter covertly.  There was a more menacing feel to this Bobby.  His aggression was much less contained.  This was a man who hadn’t been softened by raising two buys in a somewhat calm world.  Crowley reveled in the darker feel of this Bobby’s soul.  The man was totally at ease with the way this world was. “Its too bad angel blades don’t kill archangels.”  He commented, lowering the canteen.  “Those bullets Dean shot off can’t be easy to replace.” Bobby answering smirk was as deadly as a predator, and he shrugged casually “Not as hard as you’d think.” Crowley studied the human.  The way he made that statement was calm, calculating even.  It was as if he already had more and would have no problem killing more angels to refill his stock.  This was definetly a darker soul. “So, why’d you do it then?”  Bobby asked, still smirking but genuinely curious about those two boys now that he’d seen a demon and an angel willing to die for them.  “What’s so special ‘bout them?” Crowley just shook his head. “Every time there is a world ending Armaggedon, they stop it.”  He said, thinking back on what he’d told the boys in the bunker. “They’ve saved our world from that a couple of times; even stopped me a time or two.  Their a real credit to the man who raised them.” Bobby snorted. “Never knew John Winchester so couldn’t tell you how he was over here.” “Not that prat.”  Crowley growled, holding his eyes.  “It was you who taught those two about family and doing things right.  The way of getting it done the right way, and using every weapon in their arsenal.  Especially your wits…oh, the times we’ve had Robert Singer.” Bobby had been taken aback at the demon’s response and by the end he was just flummoxed.   “We…what exactly were you to the other me?”  Lord, if that didn’t sound weird.  “And don’t tell me he was some pansy.” The last came out as a growl that Crowley openly laughed at. “Hardly, darling.”  He began. “His was the only soul to ever get out of a deal with me.  And the traps and wards he had on his place… made popping in a regular hazard.” “Don’t sound too friendly there, demon.”  Bobby smirked, crossing his arms. “Oh, not at first.  He were a bugger to woo.”  Crowley told him.  “Took quite a few pop-ins just to get past the shooting, salt, and holy water.  But after a few times of my helping with a beastie, or with some research for a hunt we ended up chatting.  Sometimes about our days, always needling the other.”   He shrugged.

Bobby had been watching the demon’s face as he spoke and the one thing he knew for sure at this moment was that that world’s Bobby and this demon had been closer than he was letting on.  And he’d bet another 100 rounds in Rufus that those two boys hadn’t known.  Did help explain why he performed that spell for them, though. “So,” Bobby said, walking over, “you thought what?  You’d work that spell, come to after the dust settled, and hide out over here?” “It did cross my mind, yes.”  Crowley answered, taking in the approaching human and standing.  “I like to keep my options open.” This wasn’t his Bobby.  He needed to remember that.  He kept space between them, observing the other as he came to a stop a couple steps from the cot. “Well, the portals closed now princess, so you’re not getting back anytime soon.”  Bobby told him.  “I had you and was a bit away but it closed.” Crowley frowned. “Not sooner?  Is Lucifer there, then?”  He’d failed if that was the case. “Nope.”  Bobby answered.  “I just got behind a dune and him and some woman came flying through the opening.  Closed right after that.” “Lovely.”  Crowley growled, hands in his pockets.  “I’ll have to bloody well hide from him here, too.” “It’s not so bad.”  Bobby said, relaxing against the cot with his arms crossed.  “Plenty of others gonna come at him first and if anything does come after ya, well, I do love killing angels and demons.” The tone the last was said in had Crowley’s eyes narrowing as he took in the relaxed stance and smirk. “Oh really?”  This was definetly not his Robert.

“Never saw one I didn’t mind killing, except for their angel, and you.  All of them over here, well, killing them is a passion of mine.” Crowley could feel himself reacting to Bobby’s deeper growl.  True, this wasn’t his Bobby but the looks the other had been giving him were interested.  He stepped closer. “A passion, hmm?”  He purred, leaning in. “Mmhm.”  Bobby agreed, leaning closer so the other could feel his breath on his lips.  “Whatcha say, Crowley?  Hunt nasties with me and maybe see how we get along?” Crowley locked eyes on him at the sound of his name in that voice and smirked, letting his Crossroads show through. “Should be careful who you make deals with, love, no matter the world.”  He purred, glancing at the others lips and back to his eyes, licking his bottom lip. “Oh, I got a pretty good idea of who and what I’m dealing with.” Bobby’s eyes followed Crowley’s tongue as it slid over his lip.  “Or are you worried about me getting away on the fine print, too?”  

Crowley’s grin was predatory, just like the human’s. “Hmm.  I do so love a challenge.” Their lips met and Crowley felt at peace for the first time in a long while.  

[ourpieceoutoftime-blog]

Dean Winchester

Stats

Full Name: Dean Winchester

Species: Human

D.O.B: January, 24th, 1979

Age Range: 26 - 39 years old

Place of Birth: Lawrence, Kansas, America

Gender: Male

Sex: Male

Pronouns: He/Him/His

Hair: Light Brown / Dirty Blonde

Eyes: Green

Height: 6.1" (1.86 m)

Father: John Winchester ✝️

Mother: Mary Winchester ✝️

Siblings: Sam Winchester, and Adam Milligan

Children: Emma ✝️ (verse dependant)

Occupation: Hunter (unemployed)

Orientation: Straight Bisexual

Relationship Status: Single (verse dependant)

Faceclaim: Jensen Ackles

Links

Open Starters

Tags

Headcanons

Ships

Verses

Personality

Dean is just about the most loyal person you’ll ever meet. Once you’re in his good graces, you’re as good as family, and there is nothing as good or as important to him as family is. Of course, being that close to him can and does take a lot. In fact, he’s actually not the most open person with most people, despite the persona he puts on. There’s the person people think he is, and the person he truly is. Through conditioning during his childhood, a lot of Dean’s true self and feelings are quite closed off, in an effort to not let anyone use them against him. The main exception to this is Sam, followed by Cas, and then the rest of his remaining family.

A lot of his outer persona is being flirty and being a smartass, which he is, but its used a lot as a defense mechanism. Sure, he loves his women, and sometimes a man here and there (that he doesn’t talk about), and he loves being with them, and flirting with them, but at the end of the day, he lets them down easy and leaves, before they can leave him.

Behind his shield, Dean genuinely does not think very highly of himself, in fact, he kind of hates himself. He doesn’t feel he’s good enough or sometimes that he’s just not good at all. He tries to be, as he wants to be good. But, time and time again its been proven to him, in his opinion, that he just isn’t. Yes, he’s selfless, and a righteous man, but obviously not enough. His father was in Hell for much longer than he was, and yet, it was Dean who broke first, and the apocalypse started (one of the many times) because of it. Because he couldn’t keep Sammy safe, his little brother also went to Hell and was tortured there by Lucifer.

At the end of the day, Dean feels its all his responsibility. Anything that goes wrong, it’s his fault, and anything that goes right, well, they just got lucky. He’s a strong man physically, but once you’re past that wall of his, you can clearly see he isn’t as strong mentally. Still, he puts on a brave face and does what needs to be done, as he was trained to do. He’s gotten real good at pretending, and real good at keeping that wall up!

About

A.N: My versions of Sam, Dean, and Cas are canon divergent. They exist in a world where most if not all events from the Mark of Cain storyline and on did NOT happen! Cas is still and always has been an angel (except when he THOUGHT he was human coming back from Purgatory), the other angels didn’t fall, and Gabriel wasn’t really killed by Lucifer.

Dean was born into a happy little family, but it wasn’t always like that, nor did it always stay that way. The older he got, the more he’d notice his parents fighting, and even as a toddler, his father’s absence, leaving for a few days during one of their fights, was noticed. “It’s okay, Mom. Dad still loves you. I love you, too. I’ll never leave you.” 

The years went on, and his parents seemed to be getting along better, from his point of view. Plus, a new baby was coming! A small handful of months after his 4th birthday and Dean was officially a big brother to little baby Sammy!

Sam became Dean’s whole world. The younger Winchester wasn’t a new rival for his parents love at all, nor was he just a new sibling and future best friend. No, Sam was his. He was Dean’s little brother. Dean’s. No matter how badly he’d want to be outside, running around, using up all that energy toddlers seemed to generate out of nowhere, Dean would willingly and happily sit on the couch, as still as he could be, so that his mom would let him hold Sammy. He’d stay that way for hours if Sam would let him, but one of his parents would take him back when he started fussing. Every night before bed he’d give Sammy a goodnight kiss. 

Sam was about 6-months-old or so when Dean did that for the last time, with both his mom and dad by his side. Now, even as a young child, Dean was never the type to lay in his bed and yell for his parents to come to him if he had a bad dream. No, he’d get out of bed all teary-eyed, knock on their door, and climb into bed with them, although it was usually only his mom in the bed most nights. It was the same that night when he heard a horrible and loud noise. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he got out of bed to get his mom anyway, the loud noise scaring the little boy.

He was met with his father instead, rushing out of the nursery holding baby Sammy. The noise seemed to be getting louder and louder.

“Take your brother outside as fast as you can. Don’t look back. Now, Dean! Go!"

Of course, he listened, and with a little nod, his arms wrapped tightly around the bundle of blankets with his baby brother in it, Dean ran down the stairs, careful not to drop Sam, and out the front door. Standing on the lawn now, he looked up at the nursery to where he’d left his dad, an orange glow and that same noise still coming from it loudly. “It’s okay, Sammy.” He spoke, in an attempt to calm the crying baby.

His dad came running out, picking him up from behind. Having been taught that it was important to hold a baby in the right way, to support their head and protect them, Dean made sure to keep a good hold of his brother as their dad moved them more away from the house, as the windows exploded out from the fire. His mom never came out.

That was the changing point in all of their lives. John, their dad, was distraught, but soon the story of a horribly unlucky house fire wasn’t accepted by the elder man anymore, and he dug into it. It took him quite a while, but he’d discovered the truth. Mary, his wife, wasn’t just killed in a fire, she was killed by a demon who then started the fire to cover up his handy work. All of the stories were true; vampires, werewolves, demons, and monsters. But they didn’t just get a free-ride in life; they didn’t just get to do whatever the hell they wanted to whoever the hell they wanted whenever the hell they wanted. No. There were people out there who stopped them, who hunted them. And, from that day on, John became a hunter.

He trained his sons to be the same. When Dean was 10 years old, John was already leaving him to be in charge of 6-year-old Sammy all alone, the young boys huddled up in the motel room their dad had bought for the next few days. He’d be left with instructions to keep the salt-lines straight and full; no breaks. He’d be given a sawed-off shotgun his dad had taught him to use earlier, and the words to stay in the motel room, and keep Sammy safe. Somehow, unbeknownst to his eldest son, John knew that the demon may very well come back to try to hurt Sam. But there were other monsters out there who wanted to hurt them, more immediate threats that he needed to go out in the dead of the night and take care of. His sons would be okay for a few hours, they had each other, after all.

That’s how the brothers grew up, hopping from town to town, motel to motel, their dad always after a new hunt. During the school year, they’d move around a lot. It made making friends hard, and keeping good grades even harder, at least for Dean. Not that he ever really cared much about school or the people in it. There were much more important things than learning Shakespeare. But, Sam seemed to like school quite a bit.

John would be gone a lot, and so from a young age, Dean learned to take care of Sammy, and himself. He’d make them dinner, pack Sam’s lunch for school, make sure Sam did his homework and was well rested. Wanting to do good; to be good, and wanting to do right by Sammy, Dean quickly became the perfect little soldier in his father’s fight. Whatever John said, he did. John was the only parent he had left, and he fought for them all from that day on to make sure that Dean continued to have him and Sam alive in his life. John fought to keep them all alive, and Dean knew that.

The older his younger brother got, the more he’d fight with their dad. John was doing his best! And he was keeping them all safe! Although Dean agreed that Sam deserved a better life, this was the life they were handed, and besides, they were doing good. Whether he’d ever admit it to Sam or not, Dean also didn’t feel good enough himself to deserve a better life. Hunting was just about the only thing he was good at, besides keeping his little brother alive and well. There wasn’t much out there for him besides hunting, and so that, and family, were the only thing that mattered.

The little family of three traveled all across America in the father’s pursuit, driving in an old, classic, black ’67 Chevrolet Impala. Dean and Sam grew up in that backseat bench, their initials even carved into the car back there. Once he got old enough, Dean rode in the front with his dad. Soon after, he was allowed to go and hunt with his dad. And then, he was taught how to drive that sweet baby of a car. Dean loved her. She was a classic, and beautiful, and her ride was so smooth. While Sammy hit the books, Dean would slide under her hood and check out how she worked. He learned how to keep her in the best shape he could manage, with help and teachings from his dad’s friend, Bobby, a fellow hunter the boys used to call “Uncle Bobby” when they were little.

During high school, Dean’s grades started slipping a bit more than usual. Of course, with how often they moved, and how much time they spent on the road as opposed to in a classroom, it was understandable. Dean never liked school anyway. In the Winchester home, it was always assumed both he and his brother would simply join their dad in his hunt after they got “enough” education.

Late into his junior year, Dean dropped out. It wasn’t that important anyway, and the constant talk of college or university next was starting to drive him a bit up the wall. He had no desire to go to a fancy school, and even if he did, it wasn’t like they could afford to send him anyway; hunting didn’t really give them Ivy-League School money, nor could he leave Sam and his dad to hunt by themselves; not only did they need his actual help in the hunting, but they’d probably end up killing each other if Dean wasn’t there to step in between. Dean also didn’t want to leave Sammy, nor did he really want to continue his education. But, the bookworm that the kid was, he convinced him to get his G.E.D at least. Which he did.

Now done with school, officially, after getting his G.E.D (for Sam), Dean could focus on hunting with his dad fulltime, which meant keeping Sammy safe fulltime. A few years later and Sam finished school too. Unlike his older brother, the kid actually went through all the grades, and passed all his classes with really good marks too! Of course, Dean had always known his little brother was smart, but now school officials and all that knew it too.

Maybe he’d unfairly assumed, as the news next made sense when he thought about it. The kid had been saying for years how he wanted to get away from hunting, how he and Dean deserved a better life, how John’s parenting was shit. And Sam was smart, so smart!! The smartest person the elder brother knew by far! But still, the news that Sam had been accepted into Stanford Law school, full-ride, and that he wanted to go, broke Dean’s heart.

Of course, he deserved it! And he was obviously smart enough in their eyes for them to offer him a full-go, tuition-free at that! But still, this was his little brother he was talking about, the kid he raised. He wouldn’t just be leaving hunting, he wouldn’t just be leaving their dad, Sam would be leaving him. Although Dean knew in his heart that Sammy had no ill feelings towards him, that him leaving wasn’t about getting away from Dean, a small part of it felt that way. But, with regret in his words, in the thinking that Sam thought he’d say no, that he’d be mad (as he was at first, unfairly so), and tell him he wasn’t allowed; that he’d stop him, Dean told him to go.

It wasn’t the best day ever when Sam told their dad, with John replying that he shouldn’t bother coming back, if he left, which he did. It was a sad day for Dean, but it was what was best for Sammy, and what he wanted. Dean never could say no to the kid.

For four years it was just Dean and his dad, saving people, hunting things. It was the “family business” after all! But, John was starting to distance himself from his eldest, and instead of them both going on the same easy, pretty straight-forward, hunt, they’d go on 2 separate ones, making sure to check in with each other.

Dean had finished his hunt and had reached out to his dad, leaving a message on the man’s new cell phone that month. A few days went by and John never called back. Dean tried calling again, only to get his dad’s voicemail right away, again. But, it had only been a day or two, his dad was probably busy wrapping up his hunt.

A few more days passed and Dean started to get worried. He called again, only to be greeted by a changed voicemail directing anyone calling John to Dean’s phone. That was the final straw.

John hadn’t been the most open about where he was going, and Dean couldn’t go out and find him on his own. He needed help. He needed Sam. But, Sammy wasn’t by his side hunting with them, he’d gone off to school. Still, they were family, nothing would change that, and right now Dean needed his family. John could be hurt or kidnapped, or even dead. He’d never admit it, but that scenario…… Dean just couldn’t face alone. Besides, John wasn’t just his dad. And so, he went to go get his brother. As much as he didn’t want to bother the kid, he also just straight-out didn’t know what he was up against here, and a good hunter had to be ready for anything, which sometimes meant swallowing your pride and asking for backup when you needed it.

Sam was shacked up with his new girlfriend, Jessica, just a little ways off campus. Didn’t take long to find him really, as, since he wasn’t a hunter anymore, he didn’t need to work in the dark under an alias. With the words of a code explained long ago, Dean was able to convince his brother to come with him, although only for the weekend. Should be enough time to find dad, anyway.

It wasn’t.

The weakened passed, and Sam needed to get back to school, so Dean took him back. But the elder brother had this gut feeling that he couldn’t quite kick. Something wasn’t right, and it wasn’t just that his little brother was leaving him, again, although that alone didn’t feel good, for obvious reasons, not just that they’d yet to find their dad. No, something bad was around them…..

Luckily, Dean had listened to his gut, and even after their goodbyes once again, he hanged around Sam’s apartment building. Only a few minutes or so after Sam walked in did Dean see that familiar orange glow from Sam’s apartment window. It was as if he’d forgotten it; it had been 22 years ago, after all. But, it was the same orange lighting he’d seen in Sam’s nursery as he held his crying baby brother in his arms outside of their house when their mom died in the fire. It spiked a reaction in the older brother.

Dean barged into the building, moving quickly up to Sam’s apartment and kicked open the door. In the bedroom he found his brother, who was staring at the ceiling, his girlfriend, Jessica, there, burning. Dean dragged his brother out, once again saving him from his home burning down. After that, thank God, or whoever the hell was actually listening to his thoughts upstairs, Sam stayed with him. They picked up hunting and continued to look for their dad.

Eventually, the 2 found John, which in of itself came with much more stories than they’d known prior. The family of 3 teaming up again brought a lot of old, sour memories back to the surface. It was like they’d tried to fall back into the same routine they’d had before Sam left. Except, now Sam wasn’t a kid anymore, and John couldn’t just make do anything and everything. The 2 seemed at each other’s throats more then they’d once been, but Dean stood on Sam’s side more now, hurt feelings still fresh to him that his dad would just leave him behind on his own.

Still, Dean was his father’s dutiful soldier, and so he helped the two make up as best as he could. Just like most everything else, nothing lasted, thankfully, Sam and John’s fighting was one of them. But, just as Sam and John had been starting to rekindle a better relationship, John died, taking Dean’s place on a reaper’s ‘To Reap’ list instead. A part of Dean understood as he would and will do the same for Sam later on. But, the loss of his only remaining parent was hard, nonetheless.

The brothers kept hunting on their own ever since. Despite not having their dad by their side anymore, they weren’t ever alone for long, if at all. They still had Bobby, their surgent father, as well as all of the good people they’d met along the way. Some of them would die as the years passed, while others would come and go. It was the life of a hunter.

So much had happened to the 2 of them, including the fact that they’d both died and come back quite a few times and in various ways (too many times according to some reapers!). When Dean died, the first time, being dragged down into Hell by Lilith herself in Sam’s place, he was brought back ‘topside’ by an angel named Castiel. Cas wouldn’t be the only angel the boys would meet, but he’d be the first to join their fight against the supernatural, and he quickly became Dean’s best friend, after Sam, of course. Cas was family. Along with the rest of their remaining family; Bobby, Ellen, Jo, and so many more friends who were really family in the end, they’d (half-jokingly) dubbed themselves as ‘Team Free Will’.

A lot had happened since, the most substantial, besides the too many deaths and trips to Hell the brothers have accumulated over the year; their new living arrangements. Sam and Dean were met one day by their time-traveling grandfather, Henry. He was a Man of Letters and even showed them the cool abandoned bunker for the secret society long uninhibited. Since they were Henry’s grandchildren, the bunker rightfully belonged to them, as, every other Man of Letters was killed, and or didn’t have any descendants. The two got a new home after all, besides Baby, Dean’s car, of course. 

[shattered-rp-blog]

Congratulations, Mack!

You’ve been accepted as Jean Grey, welcome to the family! So sorry that we took this long to accept, but we’re diving right into it now. We’re impressed with your take on Jean and Cas is so happy that Charles has one of his favorite students around! We’d love to help you get used to RPing on tumblr, it has some tricks and you’ll fit in quickly, I’m sure. And yes, the Phoenix force should make an appearance along the way, maybe with a big event? We’ll see! Please send in your account in the next 48 hours and make sure you go through our checklist!

App Form - Canon

OOC

Name:  Mack

Preferred Pronouns:  She/Her

Age: 33

Timezone: Central  

Availability (with a short explanation): Most evenings after 6:30pm CST on M-F, Sa/Sun varies. I work a full time job and go out with my SO on dates on weekends. But I always make time for RP.

Do you have any triggers?: Emotional abuse

IC

Full Name: Jean Elaine Grey

Second character choice (if there’s any): N/A

Alias:  Marvel Girl, Phoenix

Affiliation:  Secret Mutants

Age (16+): 28

Faceclaim:  Bridget Regan

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Character quote: “You’re a firecracker Creed. I’m an atom bomb.”

Why do you want to play this character?:

I have always been drawn to Jean because of her complexity and the struggle she has within her to control both her powers and herself. My obsession with the character has led me to collecting action figures, jewelry, and even a real animation plate from the ‘90s X-Men Cartoon.

I’ve already  played Jean for over 7 years in one game, and for three years in another, but most of them were predominantly X-Men-centric so I’d love the chance to have her interact with both X-Men and other MCU characters. I also see that you guys have an Xavier, and I’d love to explore Jean and Xavier’s father/daughter type relationship (provided the player is okay with that).

Biography (3+ paragraphs, you can use the skeleton to help you):

Jean Grey was born to Elaine Grey, a lawyer, and Dr. John Grey, a professor of history at Bard College in Annandale on Hudson, New York. She was the youngest after her sister Sara, who was born two years earlier. Jean was a bright, imaginative girl who often divided her time between reading, watching action/adventure movies, and playing with her sister and the neighborhood kids.

When she was 12, Jean was forced to grow up impossibly early when she saw her best friend, Annie Richardson, get hit by a car. As the girl lay dying, Jean’s mutant ability to read minds manifested, and she felt her friend’s thoughts and emotions as she passed. This event left Jean depressed and withdrawn, and she suddenly discovered that she was hearing voices that she couldn’t turn off.

A month after Annie’s death, Jean’s depression and abilities came to a head and she was plagued by a nightmare that put Jean, her parents, sister, and most of the block in a telepathic slumber that they could not be roused from. The comas alerted the attention of the local media and Professor Charles Xavier, who was able to awaken Jean and the others from a distance. The authorities wrote it off as a “carbon monoxide gas leak.”

Xavier managed to convince Jean’s parents to allow her to come to his school for gifted mutants, where he met Scott Summers, Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy, and Warren Worthington. Jean formed a close relationship to Xavier, seeing him as a mentor and a father figure. She was drawn to his dream of humans and mutants eventually existing in peace and was eager to join his “X-Men” (even if she didn’t like the name), to help protect both human and mutant kind.

He was able to help her learn how to control her telepathy and telekinesis, which manifested soon after her arrival at the school due to raging teenage hormones and living in a house with all boys causing her untold amounts of frustration. All except for one. She fell hard for Scott Summers, the “leader” of the group. After a short love triangle between her, Scott, and Warren in their teenage years, Jean and Scott became a couple.

Jean realized that she wanted to do more than just be an X-Man and decided to become a medical doctor to help treat the X-Men and other mutants who came in. She enrolled at Empire State University after she graduated from high school and helped the X-Men as much as she could during that time. Unfortunately, she forced to drop out of the program a few months shy of completing her residency when the Sokovia Accords were signed and and the X-Men went underground.

Luckily (or unluckily), being an X-Man means she gets practice treating injuries. In her spare time, however, she has taken a liking to teaching the younger students biology, tag-teaming with Hank to give the full science experience.

Jean didn’t hesitate to go with Xavier and the other X-Men when they went underground. She is completely against registration, finding it to be immoral. She is willing to do whatever it takes to try to help people understand that mutants are nothing to fear.

Physical Description

Height: 5’ 9”

Weight: 145

Eye Color: Green

Hair: Copper Red

Distinguishing Features: None

Personality:

Jean Grey is an intelligent woman who finds her passion in medicine and being proactive in mutant issues and rights in politics. She has an unquenchable desire to learn, be it the physicality of the knowledge that comes from a library, or in the intricacies of those around her. She is a quick study and has a great memory, for better or worse.

Jean sees her abilities both as a blessing and a bane at times. She often sees people as others may not see, whether she, and they, like it or not . The minds of others are like doors to her,  sometimes closed, sometimes opened, but nonetheless solid and present, echoing with the secrets of what may lie behind them.  She has worked to gain the trust of those she works with and cares about, because she has the potential to learn those secrets with a mere turn of the door handle. It gives her a power she takes seriously, though sometimes the “louder” minds tend to blare at her like a foghorn.  She tries to keep those secrets, though sometimes she can play dirty. 

Jean loves with all of her heart and soul, and reacts with other emotions the same way if she doesn’t catch herself. She is warm, compassionate, and loving, but is also firm and not afraid to speak her mind if need be. Her temper can be something to behold if someone she loves has been hurt or threatened. Despite her past experiences, Jean is still a fairly optimistic person.   She has a great sense of humor and is not afraid to show it. She can also be rash and impulsive if she lets her emotions get to her, and while she forgives, she doesn’t forget.

Ships: Jean Grey/Scott Summers

Para sample (in character): (Removed for privacy)

Additional (optional):  Horoscope: Cancer, Myers-Briggs: INFJ

Favourites? Headcanons?  Favorite Tea: Chai with a splash of almond milk, Favorite Dessert: Everything, Favorite food: ramen. Favorite color: Green, Favorite Movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Meditates a lot. Does a lot of online shopping to avoid crowds. Even though she’s got a lot of control over her powers, sometimes huge crowds give her a headache from trying to keep all the voices out.

Wanted connections: Jean/Xavier, Jean/Scott, Jean/Hank, Jean/Bobby, Jean/Warren.

Questions or requests? Mostly used to chat rooms or Play by Email so I’d love some guidance on how to RP on Tumblr. I would also like to actually have the Phoenix manifest later (but not too much later) down the road as a future story arc to provide more plot fuel.