#also my muse isn't great

[pokimoko]

Listening to instrumentals from the silly doo-wee-ooo show is actually something that can be so painful.

[taralen]

/pos 😏

I get the impulsive desire to dye my hair black, but I'm dealing with hair loss at the moment (likely due to my inability to keep food down and one of my meds), so I don't think that'd be a very smart idea. LOL

Also, my scalp felt like it was on fire when I applied an herbal serum earlier. Apparently, that's a sign of irritated hair follicles from stress, anxiety, or depression. Wow, I suffer from all three! GREAT!

I'm weaning off the medication that I highly suspect is contributing to the hair loss, but I'm also more manic without it... Which you know what? @#$% it. I would rather be loopy, hyper, and maniacally laughing at random $%^& than stress out over possibly going bald. LMFAO

Also, I started therapy. It's been a while since I've seen a therapist, but I got referred to a program that lets you choose the one you think will work with you rather than just assigning you to a random person. The guy seeing me thought I was amusing and hilarious, so hopefully, it goes well. AHAEAHAE

[smugliar]

Hello

[yeonban]

My Kolya's inclination towards and mis/fortune (?) of chancing upon several evil entities that have existed since time immemorial should honestly be studied

[tyrannuspitch]

thinking about a sentiment i've seen expressed once or twice about loki's change of manner in the loki show - specifically, that you can make it in-character if you just read it as: he has "dropped the royal persona" and what we see now is "the real loki".

and like... i don't know. like sure valid reading whatever. but it honestly makes me kind of uncomfortable, and just, like... sad.

like... there wasn't anything wrong with his mannerisms before. like, sure, he was (and is.) paranoid and insecure, but i really don't think that being quiet and deliberate in how you express yourself in general is necessarily unhealthy, or that being louder and less careful is necessarily an improvement.

it kind of reminds me of like... when people call RP a "fake"/"artificial"/"made-up" accent? like, yes, social pressures mean a lot of people put it on, exaggerate it, cultivate it, et cetera... but at the end of the day it is still just another accent. it is still some people's mother tongue, and therefore, by most people's standards, those people's most authentic voice.

and like, similarly - just because loki has xyz trauma reasons to be quiet and formal doesn't mean that his ideal self is necessarily not quiet and formal. some people just are that way! some people prefer it! this is a real personality trait that exists! and honestly even if it IS unhealthy, after a certain point, things like that can go so deep into your personality that you can't really untangle them, and if you DO want to change them, you're not uncovering a hidden "real you" so much as inventing a new one.

also i feel like pre-ragnarok we were definitely meant to understand loki's mannerisms as being as much a product of culture as of his specific personality or home life, and the way almost everyone treats ragnarok asgardian mannerisms as "realer" because they're closer to (/basically are) modern anglo-american norms also makes me uncomfortable... but it might be somewhat unfair to put this on the loki show when they were already three movies deep in ragnarok canon. (but also. loki's outward manner is much *more* changed in the loki show than in ragnarok itself.)

[nyano64]

transing has made me feel so much better about my tummy

i used to hate that shit but now its like ooo boy tummy

[boundlss]

@fintastica / universe hopping starter call! ( mark twain )

Incidentally, just before it happened, he'd had the optimistic thought that he was just starting to get the hang of using the dimensional doors to get himself in and out of 44's archives.

In fairness, Twain has never quite had an incident like this before that left him somewhere completely unfamiliar. At worst, the doors would fail to show up, and he'd be locked on one side of the archive for a little while until 44 felt guilty enough to let him in. This sort of thing---a completely unfamiliar destination---maybe shouldn't have even been possible.

"Well, damn. Guess it's definitely a little possible..." he mumbles to himself, struck with the feeling that the scenery doesn't actually seem completely unfamiliar. As he continues to observe it, he notes that it looks a little bit like the grounds of a school. It's only in looking around that he notices; wherever the doorway had taken him, he's not alone.

He startles, a late reaction to the unexpected company. A student here, maybe?

"... Uh. Hi."

[verysium]

how bllk boys would react when u draw them, could either be rlly good or rlly SHIT u choose idk (plz include barou and the itoshi bros) 😊😊😊 i love you and ur works, and the way u write the boys and ur content makes me laugh fr, one of my fave bllk authors mwjahaja 😓 have a great day, ily:3 and the icks post made me smile like all of ur posts do!

thank you so much anon ♡ this ask had me contemplating very seriously, so apologies if it's a bit late:

sae is definitely awestruck in some way, even if he doesn't immediately show it. i think i talked about this in a previous headcanon, but he has a deep-seated admiration for artists who can grasp abstract concepts because he himself cannot. he would be somewhat flattered if you drew him since he's never considered his own appearance to be particularly inspiring. would be appalled if you considered him your muse. like....why? to him, his looks aren't anything of importance (clearly he is blind.) would probably say your drawing was inaccurate but then hang it up by his nightstand so he can look at it every night before he goes to sleep. if you're a full-time artist, he probably keeps a little stash of your gifts in a small box beneath his bed. sometimes if he's having a bad day or he lost a game, he goes back and flips through them just to make himself feel better. secretly loves the way you draw his bangs and the little swoop you do in your signature.

kaiser corrects every single detail in your drawing. stands behind you and gives you little pointers here and there. he should have an 8-pack, not a 6-pack. his jawline isn't sharp enough in your initial sketch. poses shirtless in front of you so that way you can encapsulate the full extent of his sexiness. shows off your drawing to every living creature in existence. "isn't he handsome?" like...🙄 yeah, michael we know. he's probably the hardest to draw because of his tattoo, so i think he genuinely appreciates it when you put in the effort to capture his intricacies. will never admit this but he's low-key proud of you and your talent (mostly just your ability to make him look good.)

rin is one of those people who doesn't understand hyperrealism. like why does he need a highly detailed sketch of his face when he can just take a photo and print it out? i don't think he understands art in general. probably despises modern art too. he'd take one look at a rothko painting and be like....i could draw this too...in my sleep. similar to sae, i feel like he's just numb to the sentimentality of gift-giving. doesn't understand why you would waste your time drawing a little picture of him, but it does make his heart feel strangely fuzzier, so maybe he'll keep it this one time. lo and behold, months later he now has a collection of your drawings he doesn't have the heart to throw away. refuses to let isagi or anyone see them because they're meant for his eyes only.

yukimiya has impeccable taste. in fact, he's probably an artist himself. i think it'd be cute if you both drew little sketches of each other throughout the course of your relationship. but neither of you ever knew until you gifted him your sketchbook for christmas, and he was like....guess what...i drew you too. thinks you're pretty even when you don't think so. sometimes when you're having a coffee shop date, he scribbles a portrait of you on his napkin because the sunlight hit your cheek just right in that moment, and the birds were chirping, and he fell in love all over again. i think it's also tragic that he's slowly losing his eyesight, so he won't be able to enjoy your drawings and the vibrant colors you infuse into them. that's why he treasures them even more. probably thumbs over the pages from time to time. memorizes every stroke and line.

isagi likes the way you always draw that little tuft of hair that sticks up on the top of his head. it looks like a cute little bean sprout. he pins your drawings up above his bed next to a polaroid of you two in germany. buys you a professional art set for your birthday. if you're a digital artist, he buys you a new tablet and stylus.

bachira adds his own doodles next to yours except he makes a chibi version of everything. always pesters you to include his little fangs. uses the boldest combination of colors. he would definitely be a messy artist. paint everywhere. fingernails perpetually stained a different color. you both draw during class, so when you two trade notebooks to actually study......there aren't any actual notes.

barou acts like he doesn't know what to do with your drawing of him but then the next day you visit his house, and he's already put your artwork in a fancy picture frame. refuses to let anyone else even stand within a ten meter radius next to it because he doesn't want their "nasty fingerprints" all over your beautiful masterpiece.

[shaampoo]

OMG!?!??! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SONG (and AU), RIGHT NOW!!!

(By Lydia the bard

TINKERBELL VILLAIN SONG - Fall Little Wendy Bird Fall | Song by Lydia the Bard and Tony | Animatic

The title^)

First of all the cover art is AMAZING, Tink is SO pretty, the sparkle and lines on the wings, her grin, HER HAIR, HER EARS, HER DRESS,

Also, "Fall Little Wendy Bird Fall" is a great title

Now the video itself and its lyrics, i really REALLY want to just compliment every single frame of this video, its so beautiful, so well done, its like it was blessed by The Muses of greek mythology,

Okay so the lyrics at 0:45

"You dont seem to quite understand what is at stake,

This messed up little family that i had to make"

Not only is this line so beautiful with the way her voice sounds, its pretty much a nod to the fact Tink and her friends kidnapped peter pan and the lost kids to keep her and her friends alive

(0:55) \/

"If i could let them all go home please know that i would

But it'd do more harm than good"

Just Tink expressing her guilt that she and her friends kidnapped the lost boys so that they could keep existing, but like, JWHSEAJKHWED, she ofc doesn't want her or her friends to die, and since people are slowly not believing in fairies anymore, they're slowly going extinct, ALSO, Fawn and Silvermist are DEAD, so yeah, that messes with someones head

AAAALSOOOO, i LOVE their silhouettes, the height and weight differences instead of them all having the same height and weight like in the movies, plus, i LOVE that despite not looking like how they do in the movies, you can probably still tell who is who,

ALSO

Even if it wasnt intentional, i like how in kinda faraway shots, Tink has a more cuter roundish look, while in closer shots shes more edgy and more intimidating(? if that's the right word), kinda showing how others view her (kinda?) as a cute fairy, maybe underestimated, but yknow, close up, shes plotting to kill a child

(1:15)

I love how Tink is gesturing in this scene, cause 1. It conveys to the audience what she wants from the lost boys and 2. Canonically, when fairies talk, people usually just hear jingling of bells, so shes gesturing because shes also conveying what she wants to the lost boys

1:23

"Swear its nothing personal, its a necessary evil"

I just love this line because it is a necessary evil, she needs the lost boys and peter pan in neverland to believe in fairies so that they exist, and Wendy is pretty much a threat, since she makes the lost boys want to grow up with families,

Also, the lost boys look so cute in here, i cant remember their names tho, one is holding a slingshot, aiming at wendy, one is holding rocks , and one has a stick , so Tink just told these children to assassinate Wendy, or at least attack her.

1:35

I love how the kids explain that Tink make them do it, and Peter Pan just glares at Tink, and i love that I'm pretty sure that Peter isn't mad/doesnt blame the lost boys

As seen in this scene where Pete is smiling and stuff at the Lost Boys and/or at Wendy

1:55

I love how Tink refers to Wendy as a "Nasty little spark" because, a spark can turn into a fire, damaging a lot of stuff and people, pretty much saying that Wendy has to be snuffed out before she causes a fire,

"Setting fires inside my house is just not allowed"

Pretty much referring to the fact that Wendy, the spark, is creating a fire, aka, making the lost boys want to grow up and go back to the real world, making them not believe in fairies anymore, thus, making her and her friends die, which is, not allowed.

Also. the fear in Tink's eyes is so fear, her expression is on point, the mix of concern and fear is just, so beautiful, also i love her pointed ears

2:17

First of all, this screenshot does not do justice to the actual design of the mermaid (siren?), cause they are AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, GORGEUS.

Also, the fact that Tink is persuasive enough to convince someone to kill Wendy in such a short amount of time is impressive, and the fact that the mermaids agreed so quickly is also impressive,

When it failed, the absolute horror and shock on Tink's face? Shes horrified that another plan of hers failed, and shes scared that her friends might die, like, wow

The despair on her face is just so...asdjwoaijdoiwajd

3:38

The fact that Peter Pan (i cant even give him a nickname cause Pete sounds different and P.P. is just wrong and Pan is just A Thing), first at the gust of wind that blows away the pixie dust (which keeps the ship afloat) he covered his eyes, maybe cause the dust or his hair in his eyes, then he looks at Tink in anger and shock and probably some confusion, then looks at Wendy, in concern and fear,

Theory: Pan knows that, since Tink doesnt want the lost boys to leave, and he knows that gust of wind was from the fairies, and Tink's dislike and hatred to WEndy, that Wendy was probably the only one not going to be saved, which is why he only looks at her and tries to save her (that or he's a SIMPPPPPPP /j)

3:50

The fact that you can see Wendy screaming??? Chills,

And the black screen right after, signalling Wendy's death is just amazing

Anyways, overall, what im saying is

THIS SONG IS AMAZING GO CHECK IT OUT, GO CHECK OUT THIS PERSONS CHANNEL, THEY HAVE GOOD VILLAIN SONGS, THEY EVEN HAVE ENCANTO!!!!

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Maybe a drabble in which our Lamb meets Chimaera Reader, the maker of all crowns? Like, he stumbles upon their lair, and sees all types of the crowns, big and small, black and white, one-eyed and two-eyed, etc.? Maybe even a little inter actions between the Reader and the Red Crown in which it recognises them as their maker?

Sorry for my English, it is not my native language-

Also sorry if this request repeats, tumblr May have doubled it-

I swear I'm gonna turn this into an OC one day because I LOVE the concept of a crown maker in the COTL universe

........

'Where am I now..?' Lamb pondered as they stepped into a cavern--one most unfamiliar to them.

It was strange, considering they've scoured nearly every corner of the Old Faith for resources, potential rival cult activity, and even martyrs for the Bishops.

But this area was entirely new to them.

With their weapon drawn, they cautiously ventured further inward, eventually arriving into a larger room that was almost entirely cloaked in darkness. They could barely see a thing even with the few torches scattered around lighting the way.

Then suddenly, they saw a bunch of eyes opening up on all sides of them, varying in shape, size, color, and number. And they just stared down at the little sheep.

While they were accustomed to having so many eyes on them, this was completely different.

These eyes certainly didn't belong to any follower of theirs.

What if this was a trap?

What if-?

"Welcome, little Lamb! Promised liberator of the Old Faith!"

Looking upwards, they could see you descending from the darkness. You looked like a tradition chimera: a lion, goat, dragon, and snake all mixed into one. Both of your heads smiled as you took a seat upon your throne, although you frowned a bit upon realizing how poor the lighting must have been.

"Oh forgive me, it is awful dim in here, isn't it? Hold on one moment." Your lion head breathed out a small blast of fire, aimed towards a nearby candle that lit up.

That set off a chain reaction which lit up dozens of other candles around your lair, and burned the torches bright enough for Lamb to see what all those eyes belonged to:

Crowns.

So many crowns.

Big and small, black and white, one-eyed and two-eyed..and even multi-eyed; some sported horns and some did not. Others had bare surfaces while others were decorated with jewels or marred with scars from time.

It was an astonishing sight, and when Lamb looked back up at you, they could see a crown on each of your heads--snake tail included.

Not to mention your seat was adorned with four familiar ones...

"So you..take crowns from fallen gods?"

"Do I take them?" You repeated, before laughing uproariously. "No, but I can see why you'd assume that. I'm [y/n], Maker of the Crowns."

They blinked. "You created the crowns?"

"I have since the first gods ruled over these lands." You chuckled, taking the Green Crown into your paw. "I mold them into a design of my liking, give them life, and then send them off into the world to find a worthy host. They're like my children, so I do get sentimental at times...but I know they'll do great things."

'Huh...Leshy did say the crown found him..' Lamb mused.

"Of all the ones I've created, though, I never thought to see the Bishops' crowns again. But they were in such terrible condition...falling apart, barely able to keep their eyes open....I couldn't believe it." Your gaze shifted down to the sheep. "You wouldn't happen to know why, would you?"

They tensed. "...well...um-"

"Haha! I only jest, Lamb. I know everything." You smiled reassuringly. "I've sensed strong spikes in their energy, and I'm well aware they've been used as aids for the bishops after Narinder's betrayal. Speaking of whom...."

Pausing, you outstretched your paws towards them. "I see the Red Crown has found a new master."

"It's a long story, but--hey!!" All of the sudden, the Red Crown slipped out of their hands, morphing back into its normal form as it began floating up to you. They were shocked and angered, feeling extremely vulnerable without it. "What are you doing?!"

"Nothing, little one. It came to me all on its own. Welcome home, my darling." With the crown nestled into your paw, your smile grew as its eye stared back up at you with happiness. You sighed and brought it closer to your cheek, allowing it to nuzzle up to you. "Oh how I've missed you, mighty crown of Death. I'm glad you have not forgotten me."

"Give it back!!" Lamb snarled, baring their sharp teeth as they tried storming up to your throne. But their little hooves kept slipping on the skull pile that served as its foundation, and they eventually tumbled downwards, landing on their rear. "I need it back right now!"

"...are they always like this?" You muttered to the Red Crown, who just rolled its pupil in response. "Huh, I thought so. Arrogant, entitled, paranoid....just like your first master-"

"Don't compare us." They scowled. "Narinder was worse than arrogant...he would have destroyed this entire world, along with you and all these crowns if I returned it to him! We are NOTHING alike."

"Hm, I see I've touched a nerve. My apologies. I just wanted to take care of this little chip in its horn." Smiling, you manifested some black ichor to seal the crack you discovered on the crown, before sharpening up its horns a little bit. "There. Much better."

"....thank you. Now may I have it back?" Lamb put their hand out, growing more anxious with each passing second they were separated from it. 'Why isn't it returning to me?"

"It doesn't see why it has to right at this very moment...and quite frankly, I don't either. It's not connected to your lifeforce. You're still standing without it-"

"Because I'm its new master! I gave it new purpose. I gave it freedom...and it should be obeying me unconditionally and I don't understand why it's being so stubborn. That crown wouldn't be anywhere NEAR as powerful if it weren't for-!!"

"Choose your next words carefully," you tutted, shaking your head as you gestured to the walls. "My children do not look it, but they too have ears."

Falling silent, they looked all around, noticing that the crowns were now glaring at them. They tensed up, a feeling of heavy discomfort and embarrassment washing over them as they slowly realized how childish they were acting.

And in front of the crown creator, of all people?

"Tell me..do you see the crown as nothing without you? Or perhaps you feel like you are nothing without the crown?"

"........"

"Your mistake, little lamb, is that you see crowns as simple tools to do your bidding. A conduit for your godhood. But do not forget, they are also living breathing creatures like you and I." You chastised. "As such, they deserve respect. I figured you would've been more grateful to meet their maker...such few have the privilege to enter my lair and receive such a warm welcome."

The Red Crown bobbed up and down in agreement, before it scowled down at Lamb, as though to say "you better listen to them and treat me better".

They just looked at the ground, unable to form words as shame creeped up their spine.

You sighed softly. "I understand your worries as a new god. The mere thought of separation from it drives you to rage, especially after what happened between you and Narinder. But I have no desire to take it from you. Not when you've fought so hard for it. All I wish is that you continue caring for it."

"....I'm sorry, Great Crown Maker.." Lamb muttered, finally letting themselves be humbled. "I don't mean to act like I did. It's just...he's been annoying me all day today, shouting about "divine right" and making my life a living hell. He still can't accept that it chose me over him.."

They felt the familiar and comforting weight of the Red Crown returning to the wool atop their head, but they only looked up at you with respect. "Thank you."

"Of course, young one." You nodded, smiling once more. "Narinder has possessed that crown since he was a wee little kit, so it's going to be quite a long time before he lets that grudge go. Perhaps in a hundred years, give or take."

"I understand...so.." Lamb looked around. "Do you have any wares?"

"Oh, plenty!" You clapped your paws together. "Feel free to take a gander! Since this is your first visit, you may have one of the tarot cards over there on the house. But just know that the crowns aren't for sale."

[razzberriezz]

Fashion Dreamer Tips & Tricks

Some stuff only I found that isn't mentioned or in-game at all or is easily missed as far as I'm aware? I hope it helps some of you guys out :) It is quite image-heavy under the cut, fair warning!!

Colour Matching (Item Creator) Pressing down on the left stick changes the display from mannequin to the item itself, but pressing it again will show whatever item you're creating along with whatever your muse is currently wearing.

So if you've gotten a custom coloured item from someone else, this is great for making items and accessories to match with it! And you don't have to waste 120k points trying to match colours by guesstimation instead like me :'))) Or maybe I'm just dumb because I knew how to zoom in and out, just not the display switching OTL

2. Showroom Configuration (is stupid) This is for the Happy Home Paradise players... Make sure that any mannequins or clothing you display in your showroom is actually accessible, because you cannot walk under ceiling decorations, even if they are lighting. I have no idea why. You also can't change the camera angle, so it'd be best not to put the door/panel decorations all in a row at the front, because then players can't see what you're even displaying (unless it's just like a mannequin in the middle surrounded by lockers... Idk)

Taking the time to plug my showroom again before I swap out the outfits for the fancier stuff I have >o< Find me at a8xv4JW3Am!

3. Muse Advisors There are at least 2 or 3 advisors who are present at the Muse Mirror in each Cocoon in rotation. (e.g. Noz and Iris in HOPE) They can not only suggest colours and unique makeup that you haven't obtained yet* (I've seen a look where your character gets like a Batman/Robin mask lol), but also give you their own! If the one whose look you want isn't there, you just have to quick-travel (press down on the right stick) to another Cocoon and back. Otherwise, you can just keep talking to them and backing out until their option shows up.

Before & After (Iris ver.)!

(*Unfortunately, they won't give you unique eye shines/reflections.)

4. NPCs I've just learnt that the NPCs you start with are most likely random. I've seen others start with NPCs I haven't even seen or heard of! You need to raise their friendship level until you get a special event that says 'Friend Introduction' - and even then, I think the NPC who appears next might be random (unconfirmed). This may make it quite a pain for those who want the unnatural skin colours, since I believe they are only unlockable via NPC friendship rank... So just go into solo mode and spam some outfits :')

5. Camera Angles and Idle Poses This one is a bit useless, but I didn't know about it until now so it's going in. Most of the time, I use the drone camera to take photos, but could never really fit fullbody photos - turns out, you need to angle the camera slightly downwards (have your character looking up) to be able to zoom out enough to fit your Muse's whole body in. If the camera angle is level with your Muse, you will never be able to get a fullbody picture. Who thought this would be a good idea???

Level angle and tilted angle - the level angle is already at the lowest it could go.

Additionally, waiting for a while will let your character have the time to perform some idle animations, some of which (I think) are not present in the poses option, even via NPC friendship rank. The downside is that you'll have to crop out some parts of the UI and the quality will be a little lower - however, that can be fixed using waifu2x (which I tend to use anyways for aesthetic posts lol).

Before & After using waifu2x!

Since the game is so new I thought this might be helpful to some who are also just starting out. If anything here is wrong, please let me know and I'll fix it as soon as possible!

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

Statistics of Apollo's Lovers

I was wondering just how unfortunate of a love-life our boy Apollo had, so - as one does - I did the research, math, and writing of said love-life.

such is the life of an adhd teen :)

In total, there are 59 people on this list. I have them separated into eight groups; Immortal, Immortal & Rejected, Lived, Died, Rejected & Died, Rejected & Cursed, Rejected & Lived, and who were Rejected by Apollo

Disclaimer: I am not a historian nor an expert in Greek Mythology, I am just a very invested nerd in Mythology, and in Apollo's mythology in general, and got curious about what his rap sheet actually looks like.

Sidenote: There will be some "lovers" not on this list. Reasons being;

No actual literary sources behind them

Said literary sources are dubious at best

Not enough information is given about the nature of their relationship to make an accurate take

So if somebody isn't on this list, it's because of one of those three reasons. Although there is still a chance I missed somebody! :)

Also, no RRverse lovers include in this list. Sorry my fellow ToA fans.

(Edited 04/29/24 - Currently adding in sources/references/expanding on the myths themselves. bare with me lol)

Let's begin! :D

Immortal Lovers

Calliope: muse of epic poetry. Mother of Hymenaios and Ialemus by Apollo.

Clio: muse of history

Erato: muse of love poetry

Euterpe: muse of music

Polyhymnia: muse of hymns/sacred poetry

Melpomene: muse of tragedy

Thalia: muse of comedy. Mother of the Corybantes by Apollo.

Terpsichore: muse of dance

Urania: muse of astronomy

Boreas: the North Wind. yes Apollo dated the North Wind. Who knew? It's mentioned in the Argonautica by the Boreads - they call Apollo "beloved of our sire" so...hmm. wonder what happened there because that's all we get.

10 lovers total here.

9 Female, 1 Male

Immortal & Rejected

Hestia: goddess of the Hearth

1 Interest. Female.

Lovers Who Lived:

Branchus: mortal shepherd, gifted prophecy

Rhoeo: mortal princess, eventually married an apprentice of Apollo

Ourea: demigod daughter of Poseidon, dated Apollo during his punishment with Laomedon; had a son named after the city of Troy

Evadne: nymph daughter of Poseidon, Apollo sent Eileithyia & (in some texts) the Fates to aid in their son's birth

Thero: great-granddaughter of Heracles, described as "beautiful as moonbeams"

Cyrene: mortal princess-turned-nymph queen, kick-ass lion wrangler, and mother of two of Apollo's sons - Aristaeus (a god) and Idmon (powerful seer)

Admetus: mortal king, took great care of Apollo during his second punishment, Apollo wingmanned him for Alcestis's hand - basically Apollo doted on him <3

Hecuba: queen of Troy, together they had Troilus.

It was foretold that if Troilus lived to adulthood, Troy wouldn't fall - unfortunately, Achilles murdered Troilus in Apollo's temple. When the Achaeans burned Troy down, Apollo rescued Hecuba and brought her to safety in Lycia.

Hyrie/Thyrie: mortal. mothered a son by Apollo. Their son, Cycnus, attempted to kill himself after some shenanigans and his mother attempted the same. Apollo turned them into swans to save their lives.

Dryope: mortal. had a son named Amphissus with Apollo, who was a snake at the time. Later turned into a lotus flower, but it had nothing to do with Apollo so she's still on this list. (noncon; written by Ovid in Metamorphoses)

Creusa: mortal queen. had a son named Ion with Apollo. Please check out @my-name-is-apollo's post for more details because they make some good points about what's considered "rape" in Ancient Greece.

Melia: Oceanid nymph. Had a son w/h Apollo named Tenerus. will expand on her in a bit

Iapis: a favorite lover. Apollo wanted to teach him prophecy, the lyre, ect. but Iapis just wanted to heal :) so Apollo taught him healing :)

Aethusa: daughter of Poseidon & the Pleiad Alcyone. Mother of Linus and Eleuther. She is the great-great grandmother of Orpheus.

Acacallis: daughter of King Minos. there's a lot of variation on whether or not she had kids with Hermes or Apollo. Some say she had a kid with each.

Chrysothemis: nymph queen who won the oldest contest of the Pythian Games - the singing of a hymn to Apollo. She had three daughters, and one of them is said to be Apollo's.

Corycia: naiad. had a son with Apollo. the Corycian Cave north of Delphi is named after her

Leuconoe (also Choine or Philonis): daughter of Eosphorus, god of the planet Venus, and mother of the bard Philammon.

Melaena (also Thyia or Kelaino): mother of Delphos, member of prophetic Thriae of Delphi. Priestess of Dionysus.

Othreis: mothered Phager by Apollo, and later Meliteus by Zeus.

Stilbe: mother of Lapithus and Aineus by Apollo.

Syllis (possible same as Hyllis, granddaughter of Heracles): mothered Zeuxippus by Apollo. 

Amphissa: Apollo seduced her in the form of a shepherd. They had a son named Agreus.

Aria (or Deione): had a son named Miletus. Hid him in some smilax. Her father found him and named him.

Arsinoe: she and Apollo had a daughter named Eriopis.

Queen of Orkhomenos (no name is given): Mother of Trophonius (my fellow ToA fans will recognize that name haha).

Hypermnestra: Either Apollo or her husband fathered her son Amphiaraus. (sidenote: @literallyjusttoa suggested that Apollo was dating both Hypermnestra and Oikles, and I, personally, accept that headcannon)

Manto: Daughter of Tiresias. Apollo made her a priestess of Delphi. They had a son named Mopsus. When Apollo sent her to found an oracle elsewhere, he told her to marry the first man she saw outside of Delphi. That man turned out to be Rhacius, who brought her to Claros, where she founded the oracle of Apollo Clarios. Later, another man named Lampus attempted to assult her, but was killed by Apollo. She is also said to be a priestess who warned Niobe not to insult Leto, and to ask for forgiveness. Niobe did not.

Parthenope: granddaughter of a river god. Mothered Lycomedes by Apollo

Phthia: prophetess. called "beloved of Apollo". Mother three kings by him; Dorus, Laodocus, & Polypoetes

Procleia: Mother of Tenes, son of Apollo, who was killed by Achilles before the Trojan War. Daughter of King Laomedon, king of Troy.

Helenus: prince of Troy. Received from Apollo an ivory bow which he used to wound Achilles in the hand.

Hippolytus of Sicyon: called "beloved of Apollo" in Plutarch Life of Numa. I don't think this guy is the same as the Hippolytus, son of Zeuxippus (son of Apollo), king of Sicyon Pausanias talks about in his Description of Greece. That would be a little weird taking the whole family tree into account - though it's never stopped Zeus before, I guess.

Psamathe: nereid, said to be the personification of the sand of the sea-shore. There are two versions of her myths, both very different, but I'll only explain the one that explicitly states her and Apollo's relationship, which is by Conon's Narrationes. She and Apollo were lovers, but never had any kids. When another man assaulted her, she had a son and abandoned him. (He was found by some shepherds dw - wait, he was then torn apart by dogs. Nevermind.). Back to her, her father ordered for her to be executed and Apollo avenged her death by sending a plague onto Argos and refused to stop it until Psamathe and Linus (her son) were properly given honors.

(I really like how even though Linus isn't Apollo's kid, and that Psamathe wanted nothing to do with the kid, Apollo still considered him worth avenging too <3 )

(also would like to say that I found her on another's wiki page and that page said she was raped by Apollo - this just proves that you shouldn't take the wiki at face value because as shown above, that is not what happened.)

Alright. 34 lovers here.

5 Male. 29 Female.

33 are 100% consensual. Creusa is questionable, depending on who's translating.

The last one is Melia, who I will expand upon here.

Melia was said to be kidnapped, and her brother found her with Apollo. He set fire to Apollo's temple in an effort to get her back, but was killed. Melia and Apollo had two kids - but here's the interesting part. Melia was highly worshiped in Thebes, where her brother found her. She was an incredibly important figure in Thebes, especially when connected with Apollo. She and Apollo were essentially the parents of Thebes.

As I read over their story, it sounded like (to me, at least. it's okay if you think otherwise!) that Melia just absconded/eloped with Apollo.

Was kidnapping an equivalent to assault back then? Perhaps. But it's still debated on whenever or not that's true. However, one thing I've noticed reading up on these myths is that when Apollo does do something unsavory, the text says so.

It never says anything about Apollo doing anything to Melia. Her father and brother believe she was kidnapped, but, like mentioned previously, it seems far much more likely that she just ran off with her boyfriend or something.

But that's just my interpretation.

Moving on! :)

Lovers Who Died:

Hyacinthus*: mortal prince. we all know this one, right? Right? one and only true love turned into flower

Cyparissus: mortal. his DEER DIED and he asked Apollo to let him MOURN FOREVER so he was turned into a cypress tree

Coronis: mortal princess. cheated on Apollo w/h another guy. mother of Asclepius. killed by Artemis.

Adonis: yes, THAT Adonis. he's in this category because. well. he died. rip

Phorbas: at first I was going to keep him off, till I went "hOLD UP!". Listen, this guy's story is contradictory in Hyginus's De Astronomica - he's a rival of Apollo, then all of a sudden his (dead) lover. My first reaction was the above, then it was "OH MY GODS CANON ENEMIES TO LOVERS??? WITH DEATH???"

There's also a second account of Phorbas - he ended a plague on an island and became Apollo's lover that way, and when he died, Zeus turned him into a constellation - Ophiuchus.

(*In some texts, Hyacinthus was resurrected.)

6 lovers.

5 Male. 1 Female. All consensual.

Sidenote: QUIT BURYING THE GAYS GREECE!!!!

Love-Interests Who Rejected & Died:

Daphne: do i nEED to say anything? Nymph. turned into tree to escape.

Castalia*: Nymph. turned into spring to escape.

2 Interests. 1 debatable.

2 Female.

(*Castalia's myth was written in 400 AD, VERY late in the myth cycle, and was strictly ROMAN. In every other case, the Castalian spring was already at Delphi before Apollo was born.)

Love-Interests Who Rejected & Cursed

Cassandra: mortal princess. Promised to date Apollo if she was given gift of prophecy. when he did, she rejected him and he cursed her to never be believed for her visions.

1 Interests.

1 Female.

Lover-Interests Who Rejected & Lived

Sinope: mortal. got Apollo to promise her anything; requested to remain a virgin. he obliged.

Marpessa: mortal princess, granddaughter of Ares. Idas, son of Poseidon, kidnapped her and Apollo caught up to them. Zeus had Marpessa chose between them, and she chose Idas, reasoning that she would eventually grow old and Apollo would tire of her.

Bolina: mortal. Apollo approached her and she flung herself off a cliff. He turned her into a nymph to save her life. Nothing happened between them, although some texts may say that she eventually dated him.

Ocroe/Okyrrhoe: nymph and daughter of a river god. asked a boatman to take her home after Apollo approached her. Apollo ended up turning the boat to stone and the seafarer into a fish.

Sibyl of Cumean: mortal seer. promised to date Apollo if she was given longevity as long as the amount of sand in her hand. he did, but she refused him.

5 Interests. All female.

Okyrrhoe's story is the only one with any iffy stuff, although, like stated in previous sections, when something iffy does occur, the text usually says so outright.

Rejected by Apollo:

Clytie*: Oceanid nymph. turned into a heliotrope to gaze at the sun forever after the rejection.

1 Advance. Female.

(*Clytie's story was originally about her affection for Helios. When Apollo got conflated with him, her story also changed.)

In Conclusion...

59 people total (includes Castalia & Clytie)

48 Women (81%). 11 Men (19%).

19% were Immortal (Including Lovers & Rejected)

66% Lived (Including Lovers & Rejected)

14% Died (Including Lovers & Rejected)

1% were Cursed

2% were Rejected by him

57 people total (Not including Castalia & Clytie)

46 Women (82%). 11 Men (18%).

18% were Immortal

68% Lived (Lovers & Rejected)

12% Died (Lovers & Rejected)

in that 12%, one was apotheosized - Hyacinthus.

Meaning 10% died permanently, while 2% were resurrected.

2% were Cursed

0% were Rejected by him

Additionally, I left off three male lovers and two female lovers - Atymnius, Leucates, Cinyras, Hecate, & Acantha.

Atymnius has no references to being Apollo's lover, only to Zeus's son Sarpedon.

Leucates is another male "lover" left off the rack - apparently he jumped off a cliff to avoid Apollo, but I couldn't find any mythological text to account for it. There is a cliff named similarly to him where Aphrodite went (by Apollo's advice) to rid herself of her longing for Adonis after his death. Also Zeus uses it to rid himself of his love for Hera before he cheats on her again.

Cinyras was a priest of Aphrodite on the island of Cyprus. He was also the island's king. Pindar calls him "beloved of Apollo" in his Pythian Ode. However, looking further into Cinyras's life throws a bit of a wrench into it. He's also cited to be a challenger to Apollo's skill, and either Apollo or Mars (Ares) kills him for his hubris.

(honestly, I kinda like the idea that Mars went into Big Brother Mode)

I did consider leaving him on the list, since technically you could argue it was a romance-gone-bad, but among every other source Cinyras is mentioned in, Pindar's the only one who puts a romantic label on him and Apollo.

Hecate, the goddess of magic and crossroads, is said to be the mother of Scylla (like, the sea-monster) by Apollo, but Scylla's parentage is one of those "no specific parents" ones, so I left her off the list.

Acantha has absolutely no classical references. There's a plant like her name, but she's made-up, so she doesn't count.

(Of course, I could be wrong about any of these. Again, I'm not an expert.)

With all this in mind, this means Apollo's love life actually isn't as tragic as media portrays it, and he isn't as bad as Zeus or Poseidon in the nonconsensual area.

Does he still have those kinds of myths? Yes, with Dryope & Creusa, though Creusa we could discount because;

1) Depends on who's translating it; and

2) Euripides (the guy who wrote the play Ion) contradicts himself on Ion's parentage in another play, and honestly Apollo's characterization in Ion just doesn't quite match up with the rest of his appearances in the wider myths (in my opinion, at least - feel free to ask why)

So that leaves us with just Dryope, who comes from Ovid. Now I'm not saying we should throw her out because of Ovid's whole "wrote the gods even more terribly to criticize Augustus" thing, but it is something to keep in mind.

So overall, I'd say Apollo has a rather clean relationship past. It is far better than Zeus or Poseidon's for one, and he is miles ahead of Hermes and Dionysus.

He's doing pretty damn good.

[sherwees]

piano lessons

cw: dubcon, more angsty idk, reader and kun are implied to have a LEGAL age gap, riding, maybe a sir kink, kun uses “sweetie” “sweetheart” etc etc on reader, lots of praising coming from kun too.

side note : I think I made kun praise the reader more than they actually fucked so urm.. uhhhhhhhh 👁👁

extra : I remember when my elementary music teacher told me I had long hands and I would be a great piano player.

extra extra : I used the word fucking and eyes too much for my liking.

apart of the nct corny porn plots series!

“how about you play this?”

once you hummed at kun's recommendation, he grabbed the music packet and set it in front of you. intently watching him place his finger on the cnote then drag it to the rest of the notes then stop it right at the dash.

“see this,” he tapped at d in between the a and f. “this is where you get really..” kun tries to express it with his hands but he places his hand on his thick thighs in defeat. “overwhelmed..” he finished with a sigh, he met eyes with you but you really met eyes with a key on the far end.

you simply nodded with a short-lived smile, his eyes narrowed in confusion before he tilted his head and nudged your shoulder. “come on, give me a real answer..” kun kept on nudging it until you grinned, he suspects that you're distant and jittery because of the death of your previous instructor but it's really because of how fucking sexy he was omg you wanted a slice of THAT.

“also, keep your wrists forward..” HE FUCKING GRABBED YOUR WRIST AND AND AND AND AND FUCKING POINTED IT FORWARD but lightly and hesitantly as if he was scared to break you, his hands were coarse but comfortably soft. “don't hunch,–” he mocked your stature right before you realized and straightened it.

“don't worry, you're doing much better than usual..” kun muttered, giving you a coy smile to somehow pay off his passive aggressive comment.

you started to play the familiar tune of the sonata, your mind trying to drift from the lingering touch on your waist. one part of your mind focused on moving away from his intruding hands; your spine angling uncomfortably to the left. the other on your frolicking fingers on the arrays of keys, you felt yourself starting to panic but for which reason?

him or that certain section of notes coming up??

maybe you could take your mind off of it?

think about the ache of your fingers but what about the fingers creeping around & across your waist

man fuck it.

you slammed the keys with a huff before covering your face, “I can't get this if you're rubbing all over me!” you said with an irritated tone, it was more embarrassing that you described it that way.. but you still got your point out visibly based off kun's offended look.

“a real pianist w–”

“WOULDN'T BE DISTURBED BY LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT, OKAY I GET IT!” you snapped, standing up from the ottoman then slapping your hands to your sides; your fist balling together slowly. kun stared at your stiff figure with a sigh, but his eyes mused at your pouty lips; he yearned to finally kiss them.. but that's a little.. weird, isn't it?

“my apologies, maybe we need a break?” he suggested in a murmur, trying to hide his smile as he tapped a key lightly but the piano never emitted a sound. the tension was palpable and kun was sure that he'll make it boil over but.. to his liking. no matter what he had to do.

you took a breather, were you more overwhelmed about his absolute SEXINESS OMG YOU WANTED TO FUCK OMFGGGGG or about the piano piece? it was–

“now let's try that again, yeah?” his head peaked out of your peripherals, his eyes filled with some sort of mysterious enthusiasm. as if you were in some sort of illusion, you sat back down. “that's more like it..” kun whispered, his shoulder nudged against yours unintentionally. you didn't notice how the side of your knees were touching, your forearms nearly touched with every movement. freaky ass bitch...

once you were calm, you started playing again. his eyes intently watching your concentrated expression; how your eyes squinted at some points, your jaw clenching once you got to that one sixteenth note that bothered you two weeks prior.

“you're doing really well..” kun reassured, his breath was caught in his throat once he felt a tension at the base of his length with every move of your fingers.

man.. that third note kinda hit different this time..

after finishing, you haven't realized that you were sweating until you pulled your hands from the board. goddamn bitch, you were out of breath?!

kun stood up adruptly with a contempt sigh, brushing your sweaty forehead once you looked at him. you felt kun's hand quiver against your hairline before it felt to his waist, the silence was heavy and ominous. you couldn't even bother to make eye contact with him because of the goosebumps that tingled on the side of your neck. he literally wouldn't stop staring; he probably wasn't even blinking oh my fucking god.

after the sequence of silence, he finally said, “you did great today, sweetheart..” he complimented, hoisting you up by your arms into a hug. kun relished in the feeling of your warm skin against his cold own. “m’ so proud of you..” he whispered the praise into your ear, his lips grazed your lobe.

“I think you deserve an award, hmm?” kun seducted you, the familiar warmth and prickle of goosebumps followed up your neck.

“urm, what?!” you accidentally yelled, turning the tension cold. “huh?” kun said before pulling back, his face contorted in confusion as if he didn't do all that and a bag of chips. he quickly composed himself with a deep breath and clearing of his throat once he noticed your expression still remained angered, frustrated and overall fucking CONFUSED? I MEAN LIKE?!!

he totally got lost in the moment, kun needed to realize that he was your instructor and nothing more. not a lover. it hurt that you didn't see him like that and that you'll never understand how bad he wanted to embrace your warmth and revel in the feeling of the succulent plumpness of your lips. but he couldn't and he shouldn't.

“don't fucking act stupid!” your pent-up irritation scorched kun's frangible heart. “I know, I know, I fucking know!” his hand slammed an array of keys before he rubbed his forehead with a sigh. kun's hand perched on his hip before he looked back up at you, his deep brown eyes teary with hurt.

“I've tried so hard to keep us two platonic in some sort but I just can't do it! you're too much..” his forehead lines frowned in distress whilst his index and thumb met the inner corner of his eyes.

“I mean, I really wanna help you but at the same time, I-I just can't help myself.” he concluded with a restraint tone, his hand unintentionally slamming against the keys again but he found leverage on the top of the piano.

kun let out a throaty sigh once your eyebrows finally rested, “l-let's just continue,okay?” his eyes fell to the ground before he sat back down and you only followed; you didn't want to hurt him further.

once your fingers settled on the keys, your eyes managed to zone in on his heavy ass erection.

just look away, not at his jawline.. look away, maybe at his nose?! maybe at the outline of his maybe soft lips.. MAYBE AT THAT ONE MOLE UNDER HIS EYE?!! MAYBE THE MOLE THAT'S PEEKING OUT OF HIS OPEN BUTTON UP SHIRT?!!! MAYBE OR MAYBEEEE—

“okay- I—” you stood up with your hand on your forehead but immediately moved it away once it reminded you of him. nearly regurgitating the smoothie you chugged 12 hours ago that kun COINCIDENTALLY bought you, you managed to keep your stern authority.

but it completely faltered once he stood up too.

your hand surprisingly caught you, using the side of the piano. “just give me another chan–” he paused his soon series of pleads once he noticed that you shook your head, “it's fine, I'm just..” you trailed off, eyeing kun's erection for a second before looking back up at his eyes; they held some sort of.. weird.. erotic.. vibe to it..

“at this point, it's whatever you decide.”

“decide what?”

“if you wanna go home or to continue our lesson.” he said simply. “I'm just going to teach you.. nothing more.” kun suggested with some sort of grudge behind his words.

“I mean.. you're fine–I'm fine.. I mean– fuck, I'm so over this!” you cowered into your quaking palms before kun's hands (which you now noticed were abnormally larger than yours) pulled them away with a reassuring smile, it was like he was taunting you.. along with his dimples that poked inward.

“how about we just finish our lesson?” he sounded like a fucking robot, you hated it.. hated the fact that he was fucking ignoring that he was messing with you in the beginning of this bitchass lesson, the “sweethearts” “sweeties” that you had to deal with, his touches, his smile, his dimples, his lips, his hands,

just fucking everything, you hated him.

it wasn't a hate, you loathed him.

“stop acting like everything's okay! it's not.”

“well fine then!” he snapped, causing you to jolt lightly. “you have driven me insane since the first week I've even taught you.. I always tried to keep my feelings at bay just so I could fulfill your dream or whatever the hell and help you get over the death of your first instructor.. it hurt so bad when I saw you crying after our first day together.. I tried so fucking hard to be there for you.. provide for you and you just don't meet me in the middle, you've never even thought or bothered to even meet me in the middle either. and it's the bare minimum.” kun's tone died down towards the end, veins sprawled up his forearm as his hand clenched and unclenched with every word that seemed to be forced out of his throat, his eyes filled with some sort of animosity and longing at the same time.

“your naïvety makes my heart hurt so bad.. you just don't understand.” kun's voice strained, his arms flailed to his sides in distress, “you're just so irresistible— it feels weird that I even think about you like that but it's just..” he trailed but the rest of his sentence died in his throat, kun's distraught eyes stayed on the piano; his unshed tears bordered at his waterline shining from the warm lamp.

“I just want the best for you, and I believe that the best is with me.” kun came forward, your eyes followed his hand grasping your fingers quite awkwardly. you look up at him, your eyes were lost, confused and honestly baffled like that whole speech just for him to finally get pussy like hello?!

kun suddenly reached for his zipper simultaneously, his ample cock finally being freed from the suffocating confines of his trousers. but your conscience told you that you'll regret this and that something was off and that this was weird and wro— “sweetheart, be good for me alright..” the cool brass of his rings tingled your face once he gripped your jawline, a sardonic smile splayed on his face.

“kun, seriously–” he ignored your concern as he harshly yanked and tore the waistband of your pants to your knees. your heart raced anxiously, but for what? something about him just intimidated you towards borderline fear.

“just tell me what you want.” kun gripped your waist urgently, his fingernails digging into your skin causing you to wince. “come on now, just give in.” he allured you further, his eyes searching yours for any sort of deceit before his hungry lips practically swallowed yours. yes, his lips were actually soft but he gave too much tongue and it made you nearly recoil everytime he would nudge your tonsil.

kun quite literally tackled you to the ottoman, the warmth of his crotch swept through the butterflies in your stomach and straight towards your cewchie. without any effort, he placed your legs around his hips before pushing down his boxers. the heat emanating from his cock along with the weight of his tip on your clit alone was terrifying, “I don't think I could–” you wept, your imploring orbs meeting his deep-set ones.

“I think you could, I believe you could.. be brave for me, alright?” kun coaxed you while yanking your panties down, overstretching the hem a bit. kun groaned at the sight of your slick that glistened in the light, his tip slipped in between your folds; causing a full body shock to rack through him. “so fucking wet for me, hmm?” kun chimed, that same smile that made you nauseous appeared once more.

“you're s’ pretty, you know that?” you moaned when his pointer tugged at your clit playfully, a warm blob of precum slid to your hole. the head of his cock circled your sopping hole before he slid in easily with the aid of your arousal. your back arched at the unbearable stretch, your hands clawed and tore at his back as he tried to not simply cum over the unsteady pulsating of your walls.

“I fucking swear– just– fuck..” kun huffed, his dark brows furrowed in reluctance and concentration. agonizingly slow, he steadied his thrusts to be short; his tip nudging at your cervix. “you feel so fucking good–” kun said breathlessly, you winced once he slid out with an arousing pop before he sat up. “need you to ride me, alright? I don't think I'll control myself..” he shook his head with defeat, his collar bones sheened with sweat.

“sir– I don't–” he lazily smiled with a sigh and Pat to your thigh, “come on now..” he leaned back, his length twitching against his belly button like an invitation. you nodded hesitantly before straddling his lap, looking down at his length; your stomach dropped but once you took a deep breath, you were probably fine.. for now.

“breathe, princess..” he murmured against your jawline, your lips contorting in an attempt to take his wide tip but your hole only fluttered it out. “fuck– seriously I–” you screeched when kun suddenly shoved you down, tears jumping from your eyes in heavy blotches. you couldn't even bother to make eye contact with him, his eyes were hazed over with full lust.

his big hands grasped your hips as he maneuvered you on his cock, breathy gasps leaving him and whimpers leaving yours. “taking me so well, doll..” he praised you before leaving kisses upon your neck, suckling at some point as the taste of salt from sweat and tang of perfume mingled on his tongue.

the pace you set was obnoxiously slow for kun.. he knew that you were holding back or just not putting your all into it.. he scrutinized you again, your plush but yet tense thighs, your shut eyes unleashing bits of tears.

fuck you were going to be the death of him.

with every bounce on his lap, both of your pre-releases smacked around between you two. your inner thighs were uncomfortably sticky and irritated but the pleasure that coursed through your lower region aided a bit. kun's hips suddenly thrust upward, his hips now meeting yours in sync; causing you to squeal into your hand.

“baby, you could go a bit faster.. come on now..” he really only said that because his release was practically around the corner, he was sure that you could tell from his tensing thighs and twitches of his aching length stealthed in your warmth. kun's eyes rolled back to his skull once you clenched around him again, his hips stuttering additionally with a slap to your ass.

“don't do that baby..” kun heaved, looking down at the mess under you then up at you with eastern european gay porn sadness in his eyes. his clammy hands slide to your thighs whilst you rest your hands on the hook of his shoulders, he suddenly reached a relentless pace; the ottoman squeaking ever so lightly under you both.

“m’ gonna cum...” you mustered a murmur, mixed with a sob. there was only a squelching and smacking that resounded throughout the room, your abdomen caved before you yelped and fell lax into kun's arms with a heave.

“with me, okay?–” his doe eyes pleaded with you, his cock shooting rounds of precum that made your clit swirl. “with me, fuck you're so–..” he shut himself up with another peck to your lips. coincidentally, his thumb applied pressure right at your clit; your fingers tapped at his back once the pressure started to sting.

he suddenly released, his cum combining with the leaking trail of all sorts of releases down your thighs. his chest raising up and down in a tired rhythm against your cheek, his cock releasing wave after wave of his essence until it became droplets. kun eventually pulled out of you and pulled you off of him effortlessly, your head banged on the piano keys though.

cursing to himself, he pulled your head onto his chest and wrapped his arms around your waist. you looked up at him and giggled, kun stared in confusion at your hysterical laughter before you suddenly bit the tip of his nose. it was just something you always wanted to do.

kun immediately covered his nose with a hiss and you weirdly tasted chocolate and then there was a crunch.. “uncover your nose..?” you asked, he shook his head aggressively before you simply just pulled his hands away.

you gasped, he was made of white chocolate..? there was also bits of oreos you tasted also.. that's why his cum had a weird consistency..

“you're made of white chocolate, ew..” kun pouted at your comment before biting your shoulder, you were caramel flavoured. biting his ear lobe, kun pushed you away with an honestly cute angry face. kun then bit you and then you bit him and you ended up eating the top half of his head to his eyes and he ate one of your titties and a bit of your shoulder.

both of you had to go into hiding until you were able to go back into society, kun was blind and you were lopsided. you felt bad that he always had to grip the walls to find his way around the house, always having to touch your missing tittie to make sure it was you.

so you decided to push that whole “I'll love you for all of you even the missing parts” standard away and started venturing out everyday throughout the coco woods and choco lakes, you came back with tubs of the cocoa confection just so you could perfectly sculpt your lover's face back.

taglist: @teasteeper @haechansbbg

[ckret2]

Chapter 34 of human Bill Cipher not making friends with Stan during his imprisonment in the Mystery Shack, featuring: the tooth fairy and her dentist attempting to steal Bill's teeth in the middle of the night. Stan would care a lot less if he weren't still handcuffed to Bill. And also: Stan and Bill have a friendly chat. As you can see.

####

Even though Bill and Stan were trying to watch the same TV as they had dinner, Bill refused to sit in the living room with Stan; so he sat on the bottom step of the stairs in the entryway, Stan perched on the end of the couch, and they strung the handcuffs around the doorway with their little plastic microwave dinner trays balanced on their knees.

Both of their dinners had come out undercooked. Both of them were too proud to complain.

After picking through maybe a third of his meal, Bill decided he'd rather go to bed hungry than eat something he didn't enjoy, dropped his tray on the floor, and kicked it into the kitchen. "Hey Stanley, still glad you went with the cuffs instead of the bracelets?"

"Shut up."

Bill smirked victoriously, and looked back to the TV. "No mayonnaise in Ireland."

"What?"

Bill pointed at the screen and the rows of blank letters waiting for contestants to fill them in. "The round that just started. That's the solution."

"Oh." Stan counted out all the blank letters, frowned, and said unconfidently, "It can't be that. It doesn't make any sense."

"You're wrong," Bill said lightly; and then fell silent, running the tip of his tongue over the new gold spots on his teeth. 

When the contestants had guessed enough letters that one could hesitantly offer, "Is it... 'no mayonnaise in Ireland'?" Bill smirked triumphantly at the sound of Stan's silence. He just barely waited until the next board of blank letters flashed on the screen, and then announced, "Tip your waiter."

Stan counted the letters under his breath. "Man. I thought I was good at this, but we'd clean up if we put you on this show. No one would ever figure out how you're cheating."

Bill laughed. "Listen to you! If you were Ford, you'd just be mad that I'm giving away all the answers before you can guess. That's the great thing about you, Stanley: you don't get irritated at me for stupid little reasons. You're more fun." He took a deep breath and shouted, "Hey Ford, did you hear that?! Stan's the fun twin—!"

"Keep it down, you idiot. Ford's in the basement, he can't hear you." Stan had thought Bill was finally sobering up from the sedative; maybe not. (Then again, maybe this was just what he was like sober.) "And what are you talking about? You irritate me all the time!"

"Oh, well, I guess I just don't care when you're irritated." Bill laughed.

Stan grumbled, planted his chin in his hand, and tried to focus on Cash Wheel. It was difficult when he already knew the solution.

He tolerated the silence for less than a minute before sighing, looking toward the doorway, and demanding, "What's with you, anyway? Why are you so obsessed with my brother?"

Bill spluttered in disbelief. Stan could feel his handcuff chain jerk over. Voice even shriller than usual, Bill said, "Excuse m—Excuse me?! Obsessed? Moi?! I don't know what you're talking about!" He forced a loud laugh.

"If Ford's in the room, he's the only one you talk to, and when he isn't here you're yelling across the house for him—"

"Is it obsession to sometimes pay a little more attention to the human here I happen to know best and to whom I happen to be a teacher, muse, and friend—"

"Oh that's a load of bull," Stan snapped, "you're not any of those things! Friend? Friend? He wants you dead, you crazy—"

"Well if he does," Bill said, louder still, "then wouldn't it make perfect sense to keep my eye on the guy who killed me? There's no big mystery—"

"That's it! That's just it!" Stan tossed down his TV dinner and stood so he could face Bill properly. "He didn't kill you alone, remember? That was a two-man con you fell for! But you keep talking like Ford was the only one there!"

Without bothering to stand, Bill looked up at Stan and said, quite confidently, "Only one person killed me. You're just the place where I was killed."

"I wh...?" Stan fell silent, blinking at Bill in disbelief.

"Do you even remember what happened inside your brain? After you took my hand?" Bill asked. "You don't, do you?"

Stan glowered at Bill, but he shut his mouth and said nothing.

"I knew it." Bill laughed nastily. "We were both trapped in there when Fordsy fired the gun. Completely powerless. You were weeping and begging for a way out when the flames got too close, but there was nothing I could do by then—"

"All right," Stan took a threatening step closer, "I know that that didn't happen! I would never—"

Bill leaned back, hands raised palm out in appeasement, "Okay okay okay! All right, you got me—just embellishing the story a little—we actually had a big psychic laser battle. Imagined up all kinds of futuristic weapons. It was very 90's action movie. You did... fine, you were fine."

Stan considered that. "Ehh... sure, that sounds more like me."

"But it was all imaginary," Bill snapped. "It was a vast illusion! At that point there was nothing either of us could do to the other. We were just two victims locked inside a burning house as it came down around us. You didn't kill me, you never even had the power to kill me."

"Huh." That was all Stan said. But he kept looking at Bill, frowning distrustfully, studying him.

Bill's shoulders slowly went up under the pressure of Stan's gaze. "Oh—oh wow, okay, I see what's going on!" He gave Stan a crooked, mean smile. "You're jealous, aren't you? You thought offering up your body to be the scene of a murder finally made you a co-star instead of a sidekick! All your lives, Stanford got more attention from daddy, more attention from the teachers, more attention from the whole world... and you thought you'd finally get at least a little attention from the big bad living nightmare. Just because you let your brother shoot you in the head!" Bill laughed. "You weren't special enough for anyone else—why do you think you're special enough for me?"

Stan jerked Bill to his feet by the handcuff's chain. "I bet I'm special enough to break your face!" He dragged him into the living room, fist raised. "Let's see if you stay down this time—"

Bill scrambled back as far as the chain allowed him. "NO!" Horror filled the one ragged syllable. His free arm was raised to shield his terrified eye.

They froze, staring at each other.

Bill straightened up, forcing a nervous, rattled laugh. "Come on, I just got all this dental work done. At least give me a couple days to enjoy it before you pound it in!" He was talking fast to fill the silence. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind having a flatter face, all these bones and cartilage jutting out never did feel right—"

Stan feigned a punch.

Bill flinched.

Stan laughed at him, slapping his knee. "You big chicken! Look at you! Baw-baaawk-bgawk! HA!"

Bill tried, very hard, to explode Stan with his brain. This usually worked on people who dared try to insult Bill Cipher. "If I had one billionth of a billionth of my power, I'd have already destroyed you—!"

"But you don't, sucker!" Stan laughed louder.

Bill screamed in frustration, turned his back on Stan, and stomped upstairs to sulk.

Or, he would have, if he hadn't gotten one step up the stairs before the handcuffs yanked tight. He stumbled back, landed on his butt, and inadvertently jerked Stan down on one knee with a yelp.

Bill cast a resentful look at Stan—who was rubbing his shoulder and finally looking as irritated as Bill felt—and then he lay down and deliberately stared straight at the ceiling. "Whatever. I don't even care about your pointless mammal posturing. It's fine. It doesn't bother me. I'm calm. You're just making yourself look stupid." Bill shut his eyes. "I wanna go to bed."

####

"Bill," Ford said.

Bill cracked open an eye and peered up at the form looming over his makeshift cushion bed. "Mrm?"

In a very calm voice that suggested he was not calm at all, Ford asked, "Why are you sleeping on the floor in front of my bedroom door."

"Oh. Right, you missed it." Bill yawned and sat up. "Well, you see, Stanley got us handcuffed together until tomorrow morning," he pointed at his cuffed wrist and rattled the chain, "and I tried to be accommodating, but he doesn't want to sleep in the attic and won't let me sleep in the guest room—"

Stan yelled through the door, "And Mr. Accommodating here still refuses to sleep on the sofa bed."

"—so the best compromise we've got is sleeping on the floor with the chain under the door. Not my idea of a fun evening, but." Bill shrugged ruefully, like an adult resigned to indulging the whims of a petulant child. "Do you want in? It'll take us a little coordination to get the door open, but we've already done this once, so—"

"I'm not messing with this," Ford said. "I'm sleeping in the basement. Good night, Stanley."

"Night, Ford."

Trying not to sound miffed at being snubbed, Bill said, "Hey, do you still keep your cot on that rug you used to channel me better?" He laughed.

"Nope. I burned that rug." Ford turned the corner and left.

Bill stuck his tongue out at his back. He didn't actually know whether Ford was lying. He wished he'd thought to check out Ford's study before heading down to the portal back when he'd had his time tape.

"Hey." He rapped on the bedroom door. "I thought we weren't asking Sixer for help so he wouldn't find out about the handcuffs." They hadn't actually discussed it, but he'd taken it for granted. "Now that he knows, why aren't we getting his help?"

"What, you think I need his help to solve all my problems? Ha!"

"Okay, fine. Doesn't matter to me, I'm used to sleeping on the floor." Bill lay back down and sighed.

He shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

####

Bill wasn't quite dreaming, but for a few seconds it was something very close to a dream. He saw points of light in darkness. One of his earliest, oldest memories. He'd memorized the constellations outside of his plain when his starblind species didn't even have a word for "constellations."

But these weren't those points of light in darkness. Some nearer, some farther—he could sense their distance—and all of the lights were calling to him. All of his eyes. He could see so many more than he had last night.

One was just a few inches away. He could almost reach out and grab it. 

But those few seconds of light-in-darkness were in the gray twilight between the dreamscape and the physical world, and Bill only fleetingly glimpsed them as he passed from sleep back to wakefulness. He opened his eyes.

To see a person looming over him.

And the taste of thick metal tools in his mouth.

"Hi," Bill said, for lack of anything better to say under these circumstances.

It was enough to make Dr. Illing gasp and stumble back from Bill. "Jeez." He clapped a hand over his heart. "I'm sorry— I-I didn't want to—"

"Uh-huh." Bill sat up and took the abandoned tool out of his mouth—pliers. They'd been gently clamped around one of his canine teeth. "Not the most unpleasant thing I've had aimed at my face in the middle of the night," Bill mused, "but it's pretty high on the list." He tried to lift his other hand to feel his face for damage—and only remembered the handcuff when the rattling chain caught his wrist in place.

They both looked at the cuff. As Dr. Illing realized Bill was trapped, a change came over his face—a desperate, crazed fury.

Bill shook his head. "Ohhh, no no no—"

"Give me that!" Dr. Illing lunged for Bill, one hand reaching toward the pliers and the other toward his throat, trying to pin him against the door.

Bill shoved his feet in Dr. Illing's chest, trying to hold him back. "Stanley!" He pounded on the door with the pliers. "We have visitors, wake up!"

"It'll only take a second," Dr. Illing insisted. "You were going to give me one anyway! And that tooth is already loose! You can handle the pain! Just—hold still, I can't damage it!" He managed to get his thumb in Bill's mouth—he cringed when Bill bit down, but didn't back off—and pulled a fresh set of pliers out of his tool bag.

Bill parried the pliers with his own pair. "STAAAN—"

The door unlatched and Bill tumbled backward into the room. He twisted out of the dentist's way, slid the handcuff chain out from under the door, and skittered behind Stan.

"Wha—what's—?" Stan squinted into the dark hallway. "The heck's going on?"

Bill stretched to Stan's nightstand and grabbed up his glasses and hearing aids. "Put your face on!" He shoved them in Stan's hands, then reached back for his dentures.

Stan put his glasses on first. "What the— Illing? What are you doing here?"

Dr. Illing stood forlorn in the hallway, trembling all over, eyeing Stan nervously. "Uhhh," he said eloquently. "I just..." He gestured around Stan's shoulder toward Bill, "wanted to check her fillings. I thought one of them might be a little loose—"

Bill's cackle cut through his excuses. "Oh, come on! I know your boss put you up to this! What does the little lady want with my mouth?"

Dr. Illing's eyes widened. All he managed to produce was a squeak.

Stan said, "What 'little lady,' this guy's self-employed. What are you talking about—"

"The tooth fairy, genius!" Bill flung his free hand in the air. "Why did you think your dentist pays you to pull your teeth! He lives in a van, who'd you think was funding him?!"

"Uh," Stan said. "You know, I sort of just took his whole 'creepy sadist who bribes people to let him pull their teeth' shtick at face value." (Dr. Illing's shoulders slumped.) "But—I know things are weird around here, but the tooth fairy's gotta be fake, right? That's the stupidest..."

A fairy popped out of Dr. Illing's bag—just large enough to use an adult man's hand like a chair, with a bob cut so white it almost shone, giving off a glowing toothpaste-blue aura, wearing a necklace of baby teeth like a hunter who'd taken trophies from the bones of her kills.

"Oh," Stan said. "Well. Never mind. Just one more crazy thing in this town."

Bill's back went stiff, his eyes widened, and he curled his fists into the fabric of Stan's tank top like he was holding his shield in place. "Oh, she's here." He lisped an inhuman swear under his breath.

Ignoring them, the tooth fairy glowered up at Dr. Illing. "How did they know? What did you tell them!"

"Nothing!" he protested. "I swear! I'd never!"

"Well, you must have let something slip—"

Bill swallowed hard; but then he straightened up, let go, and stepped into the open. "Why, if it isn't Miss Pearl E. White, in the fae flesh! To what do I owe such an honor?"

Dr. Illing and the fairy both flinched. She asked, "How do you know my...?"

"Oh, Pearl. I know things you couldn't even dream of." Bill favored her with his best, widest, most unnerving grin.

And got the creeping sense that she'd stopped looking at his face, and started staring at his teeth. He pressed his lips together. "And here's just one thing I know: lady, if you were toeing the line of your treaty any harder, you'd be tripping across it. So tell me what you're doing here and what you want."

She huffed defensively, wings buzzing as they lifted her several inches in the air. "I'm well within the terms of the treaty! I haven't laid a hand on you and I'm not about to start, and I've been offering more than adequate financial compensation—"

"Oh, right," Bill laughed, "I'm sure the queen of your court would be thrilled to hear you ordered your legally-dubious helper to rip out someone's teeth in the dead of night—"

"Hi," Stan said, "question. What the hey are you guys talking about. Treaties? Queens?"

"Oh, this is all going over your head, isn't it! I'll catch you up." He turned to the side to point accusingly at Pearl, "Little miss enamel-happy here has a thing for teeth. To the extent that she started stealing them straight out of humans' mouths. She went so crazy that the local human settlements actually declared war on her court over her dental kleptomania—and the fairies she dragged into the conflict weren't any happier about it than the humans were. So now, under the conditions of a human-fairy peace treaty, she's only allowed to acquire already freed teeth that are voluntarily offered to her by their owners—which is why she started bribing children."

Pearl crossed her arms, fuming. "That's a very biased version of events. You're just trying to paint me in the worst possible—"

"Save it, sparkles! I woke up with your minion's pliers in my mouth, I'll be as biased as I want!" He shifted his attention to Dr. Illing—who seemed to wilt under the force of Bill's glare. "But she's getting deep in a gray area working with this guy. Once a tooth is handed to a dentist, he's its 'owner,' and can freely give that tooth to the tooth fairy—but him extracting the tooth puts the whole operation on shaky legal ground. Really, I think the only reason you've gotten away with this racket so long is because nobody's filed a legal challenge with the fairy court yet."

"Nobody's complained about it," Pearl said hotly.

"None of your victims know about it," Bill countered. "Hey Fisherman," he jabbed Stan's arm, "how do you feel knowing your teeth were sacrificed to the tooth fairy?"

He considered that. "Well—it was free."

Pearl crowed, "Ha!"

Ignoring Stan's reply, Bill blithely moved on: "But by any reading of the treaty, hiring a human to steal teeth straight out of someone's mouth is beyond the pale. So you'd better have a good explanation for this!"

"Yeah. I do have a good explanation." She sucked in a deep breath. "I want your teeth!" She launched herself toward Bill; Dr. Illing had to grab her around the waist to hold her back. "I'd do anything for those teeth! They're the most amazing teeth I've ever seen!" She clawed at the air, hissing and straining as she tried to reach Bill.

"My lady, please," Dr. Illing said pathetically. "The treaty—"

She aimed a swipe at his face. "I know about the stupid treaty!"

Bill stared at her, baffled. His perfectly normal human teeth? But he shook his head, smiled, and said, "Well okay, fantastic! It's been a while since I've bargained with the fae, but I'm not too attached to this body—so how much gold do you have on you, kid?"

"We're not bargaining. You already know too much," Pearl snapped. "I'm not about to get blackmailed by a human, and I'm not going back to fairy jail. So here's what's happening." She jerked a thumb over her shoulder toward Dr. Illing. "I'm gonna have my guy rip out every one of your teeth, and then rip your head apart so you can't talk, and the only negotiating you get to do is whether or not my guy uses the local anesthetic before he starts. So what's it gonna be?"

Dr. Illing went deathly pale and his knees shook as he verged on fainting.

"Hey," Stan waved at the fairy, "listen, I'd love to see this guy's head get ripped apart, but—crazy thing, long story—it turns out there's fifty-fifty odds that killing him could end the world. So, maybe let's talk this out—?"

Pearl gestured dismissively at Stan. "His mouth has nothing left of interest to me. He's a witness. Kill him, too."

Dr. Illing swallowed hard; but, with trembling hand, he reached into his tool bag and slowly pulled out a large power drill that definitely wasn't designed for teeth.

"Right," Bill said. "Okay. This'll be fun." If he said it convincingly enough, maybe it would be true. "Hey, Fisher—you know that spell Sixer's got on me? If I cast it on Frankie here, can you..."

"Yeah, I see where you're going."

Pearl's eyes narrowed. She pounded her tiny fist on Dr. Illing's finger. "Hurry up, before they—"

Before she could issue a warning, Stan charged at them, fist raised. Dr. Illing flinched, shielding his face with the drill; but Stan dodged around him, heading for the hall. Bill seized Dr. Illing's upper arm as he passed—"Amnesia Limina, Stupidi Digiti, Occultus Locus!"—and then Stan yanked Bill out into the hall by their chain and slammed the bedroom door.

Dr. Illing gasped. "What?"

Blue light radiated through the cracks around the door as Pearl darted around, shrieking, "Open the door, you idiot!"

There was a moment of futile scrabbling. "How?!"

Bill and Stan retreated to the entryway. Bill said, "If we get outside, we can lose 'em."

"Or get the car and run them over," Stan said.

"You don't wanna be the guy who kills the tooth fairy! She might be in the doghouse, but she's still old fae nobility. Her court would—"

Bill cut off as Stan opened the door. Instead of leading to the porch and the forest beyond, it now opened into a bone-colored cathedral, the arches and vaulted ceilings constructed out of what looked like small irregular pebbles: teeth.

Stan gaped at the vast chamber. "Where the heck...?"

Bill looked at what had once been the outside of the door; the numbers "13 / 32" were carved into the wood. "Nowhere we want to go! Shut it!"

Stan slammed the door.

"That explains how she got in," Bill muttered. "There's no time to un-enchant this exit, we'll need another one."

Stan pointed toward the living room. "We can go out the—"

"The floor room exit." Bill dragged Stan back toward the hallway they'd just left.

"What?! That's the other end of the house, you idiot, the gift shop's right through here!"

"But it's a straight shot down the hall—" Bill stumbled to a stop.

The tooth fairy was clawing her way out from under the bedroom door. She caught sight of Bill, and her wings raised in a sharp V like a wasp preparing to attack. "You!"

"Never mind."

Stan dragged Bill back toward the living room. "Now can we go—"

Bill saw the living room—that familiar dark room, the familiar walls and carpet, the familiar armchair facing the doorway as though welcoming him back, the pale blue light from the fish tank climbing the walls like flames—and Stanley Pines, dragging Bill by a chain toward this tomb—and he grabbed on to the staircase railing. "Up."

Stan jerked to a stop. "That's a dead end!" He tried again to pull Bill toward the living room. "Are you insane?!"

"Yes." Bill locked his hand around the railing like a corpse in rigor mortis. He'd break his fingers before he let go. "We're going up."

"We are not—"

The tooth fairy shot past them like a glowing blue bullet, streaking into the kitchen. Stan started, and Bill took the opportunity to drag them up the stairs. Stan finally followed.

"You're not getting out of here with my teeth!" Pearl screamed after them.

"Ignore her," Bill muttered, "she can't risk touching us and she knows it. She's powerless without her minion." He stumbled on a step and just kept climbing on all fours.

"I wouldn't bet on her self control!" Stan struggled to keep up, his cuffed wrist in the lead. "Why are we going this way? How do you expect to get out from the attic?!"

"I don't know! It just seemed like a better idea! Do I have to think of everything?!"

"This was your plan!"

"There's got to be a ladder in the storage over the kids' room, we can get down out a window."

"I don't keep ladders—!"

"Well maybe Jesús does, do you know everything in the attic?! Come on!"

Bill kicked the door to the kids' room until Stan opened it. After a short argument about who should climb to the storage loft ("I have to look, you can't see in the dark!" "And you can?! Since when!" "Since always! You didn't need to know!"), Bill scrambled up the makeshift rungs nailed to the wall while Stan climbed halfway up to give the handcuffs a little slack.

As Bill started searching for anything useful, Pearl's ranting filled the shack: "Those teeth are too good for you!"

"I think she's getting closer," Stan said. "Find anything?"

"Not yet." Bill pulled out a broken umbrella with a hooked handle. He clung to it like it was his only defense as he scanned the loft for any signs of a ladder.

Pearl went on, "They're the most beautiful, pristine, unblemished, perfect teeth I've ever seen in my life!"

Bill asked, "Are they really that great?" He'd never paid that close attention.

"Eh..." Stan shrugged and made a so-so gesture with one hand. "A little weird-looking, honestly. They've got those jagged bits in the front that make 'em look like kids' teeth?"

"Huh."

"They're pure," Pearl snarled. "I've never seen adult teeth so pure! And you're ruining them by drilling out chunks of perfect enamel for unnecessary fillings! You don't have the right to those teeth! I deserve them!"

"Hey Bill," Stan said. "So you knew my dentist works for the tooth fairy, right?"

Bill was dragging aside a large box to see if anything ladder-like was hiding behind it. "Yes."

"And you knew she goes crazy for nice teeth."

"Yes." No ladder; he moved to another stack of boxes.

"And it didn't occur to you that she'd be furious that you carved up your new teeth."

"It's in the past, Stanley! Focus on the present!"

"—and I don't even know how you got magic teeth," Pearl continued. "Fully adult teeth in a fully adult mouth, but somehow they're barely a month old! It's impossible! I could barely believe it myself until I saw your mouth with my own two eyes! I must have those teeth, as soon as possible, so I can preserve them exactly like this, who knows if I'll ever find such a novelty again—"

"Ahh, so that's it," Bill said. "Welp, nope, didn't see that one coming at all."

"She's been shouting a while without actually coming after us," Stan pointed out. "What's she up to?"

Bill paused. "Check." He lay down and stretched his cuffed arm down from the loft to give Stan enough slack to peer out the bedroom door.

Stan frowned. "Huh. Weird."

"She's upstairs?"

"Yeah. But she's just flying in a circle. With... I think a veggie container from the fridge?"

Bill sucked in a breath. "Do we have mushrooms?"

"Wh—yeah? How'd you..."

"What!" Bill half-climbed half-fell to the attic floor. "That little cheater's making a fairy ring! That's not fair!" He leaned out the door with Stan. "She's probably already made the matching ring downstairs. We have to destroy it before—"

The circle of chopped portobello mushrooms glowed white; and with a glittery puff, Dr. Illing appeared in the ring.  He coughed out a lungful of fairy dust.

Pearl pointed at Stan and Bill and screamed, "Get them!" With a murderous scowl and terrified eyes, Dr. Illing stared them down and revved his drill.

Stan yanked Bill back into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Dr. Illing whined. "Aw, f—again?!"

"Just break through it!" Pearl commanded. "It's just wood! You have power tools!"

"He can't do that," Bill said confidently. "Doors don't work like that."

Stan said, "He can do that." A power tool whine announced Dr. Illing beginning his assault on the door.

"Oh." Bill considered that, eyes scanning the bedroom from one side to the other, mouth set in a grim line. "I have an idea." He pointed toward the window with his umbrella. "Stan, open the window." He hooked the umbrella over his elbow as he ripped the bedsheets off Dipper's bed and started tying the corners together.

Stan shook his head in disbelief. "You don't really expect us to climb out that window on bedsheets, do you?"

Bill dragged Stan closer and murmured in his ear, just quiet enough that their assailants wouldn't hear him over the power drill, "No, I expect them to think we climbed out the window, while we hide in the closet in the alcove. Once they're past us to check the window, we can sneak out and run downstairs."

"I don't like hiding like cowards instead of fighting. Illing's rickety, we can take him."

Bill kept tying bedsheets. He picked up Dipper's zodiac blanket, flinched, and tossed it to the floor on the other side of Dipper's bed rather than add it to his chain. "Funny—you didn't seem to have any problem hiding for a week while I had your brother prisoner."

Stan grabbed Bill by the shirt, dragging him closer. "You wanna say that again?"

Bill's hands shot up next to his face in surrender. "Sorry, sorry, sorry—"

"There were people in this shack I wanted to keep safe," Stan growled. "I'm not half as fond of you."

"Got it," Bill squeaked. He pointed toward Mabel's bed. "But I can see a dozen futures that end with our brains splattered across Mabel's dolls. I do not want to fight power tools."

There was a crack as the drill flung the first few splinters of wood free from the door. Stan's scowl deepened, but he let go of Bill and nodded.

They tied the bedsheet rope to a table leg, opened the window, and flung the rope out the window; then retreated into the alcove at the other end of the room, pulled shut the ragged curtain that hid it, and closed themselves in the closet to wait for the tooth fairy and Dr. Illing to break in.

####

(Thanks for reading!! If y'all enjoyed, I'd love to hear what y'all think! Next week we conclude both with the tooth fairy and with whatever the heck is going on between Stan & Bill.)

[mysacredmuse]

hiii lovely I hope you're doing well 💗🌺 I'm a new follower and I really like your blog! Sooo, I hope you're okay with me requesting too hihi

Can I have something related to black swan? perhaps an nsfw alphabet for her too? I'm not sure if you want me to specify on the gender or so, but I'd be happy if fem is included (the pronouns can be gn ofc ♥️) I honestly crush so hard on her they should let us date her not gonna lie

have a great day and take good care of yourself, Muse!! Mwah

here I am finally !! :D I just want to thank you for all of your compliments and I am so glad that you enjoy my blog, it truly makes me happy eheheh <3 of course, I did nsfw alphabet for you :) and me too, I am so in love with her that it's actually concerning at this point, but it's fine :3 you have a wonderful day yourself my dear and take care Angel !! :) <3 mwahmwahmwah !!

reader: female anatomy, everything else is gender neutral, no pronouns used

cw/tw: nsfw - mdni!, mentions of slight pervert! black swan in a dirty secret part & wild card one

dividers by @/saradika-graphics :)

Black Swan • NSFW alphabet •

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

- Black Swan isn't too clingy after sex, but she likes to cuddle. Depending on your preferances, she would like to have a warm bath with you if you are feeling up to it. She also isn't opposed to doing a quick clean up and going to sleep if her duties allow her to do so. Sometimes she feels more sentimental and emotional, so she enjoys to gently brush her fingers over your cheeks and face in general, just whispering sweet things while doing so. If you ask her for a specific way to be taken care of after sex, she will do it. Anything that makes you comfortable is her thing to make true, so don't worry yourself about aftercare with her :)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

- She is quite confident and she likes her body. If she had to choose, she would choose her hips and legs as her best point, but she is also quite fond of her tummy. When it comes to you, she loves your back. There is something very sensual about one's back to her, so she really enjoys seeing, kissing, scratching, tracing, licking or biting yours. She will praise every part of you equally, but when it comes to more intimate parts - she is a boob girl, she loves boobs. Big or small - she doesn't care, she just likes boobs <3 She especially likes to mark them (she told me)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

- Hmm, Black Swan doesn't have any particular feelings towards cum. But, she does love to make you cum and see your pussy get all wet and sensitive, so there's that <3

If you never squirted before, she will make sure to be the first to make you squirt and if that's not possible due to your anatomy and so on, she will just make sure that you cum as many times as possible :3 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- She loves to have sex in front of a mirror. Either by fingering you and making you watch, fucking you in doggy, her sitting on a chair while you face the mirror and ride her strap while she plays with your boobs - she just loves to watch and make you watch yourself become a little mess <3

She is secretly a bit of a pervert. Given her powers as a memokeeper who isn't limited by space or physical forms, she sometimes sneaks in your room to watch you masturbate if she gets your permission to.., she may had a desire to do it a few times in the past without your permission, but let's not talk about it since she wouldn't cross a boundary

She also likes to get spanked :3

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

- Black Swan didn't have many partners, but her experience comes from her knowledge and active learning about your body. She knows what she is doing, although there are probably things you may be the first one to introduce to her such as certain kinks and toys, but other than that - she is pretty damn good at what she does :3

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

- She likes to be on top of you either through riding your strap, fucking you with a strap in missionary/mating press/your legs on her shoulders and so on, riding your face or simply fingering you while towering above you. She enjoys seeing your face and the position allows her to play with your tits, clit and access to your neck - depending on the exact position and her preference at the moment. She also likes scissoring and she likes to take the lead during it. When it comes to her being more submissive, she likes doggy & enjoys being flat on her tummy while you strap or finger her, it just feels good to her :3

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

- I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. Black Swan is quite serious during sex, but as you get more comfortable with each other, she can sneak in a few less serious moments and reactions :3

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

- I don't think she is fully shaven, probably has a small trail in the middle of her pelvic area, but it is light and thin, matching the color of her hair :)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

- She is quite intimate. She enjoys all the romantic aspects of having sex - slow kissing, praising, tender movements, expressing her feelings. It takes her a bit to get comfortable enough to be a more vulnerable version of herself, but once she reaches that state, she does enjoy a more romantic approach to sex from time to time :)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

- Black Swan doesn't self-pleasure a lot...before she meets you. During a period before your relationship, she seems not to be able to keep her hands off of herself. You are constantly on her mind, not just your body, but everything about you. She finds herself needier and more impatient than usual, what a shame for a Memokeeper who needs to cut her duties short in order to indulge in such a "trivial" matter so often :( This makes her grow a bit "resentful" of you, so once you have sex together, she needs to make you pay for it, but in the most pleasurable way possible, don't worry

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- Mirror sex, overstimulation, slight edging, being dominant, she likes getting her fingers sucked which she was surprised by even herself, marking, body worship, hate/angry sex is her thing for some reason. She doesn't have to really hate you, but she enjoys using sex to let out those negative emotions <3

As I mention being dominant, I want to add that she also likes being submissive. She is a switch with a preference for domming, but she has her moments where she just wants to submit to you <3

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

- She is quite simple, she likes to do it on the bed or floor if she has to. She isn't opposed to bathrooms, like showers and baths, but she prefers a more practical approach to sex :)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

- As mentioned, usually when she can't have you is when she needs you the most. She will eagerly wait for you to return home so she can have her way with you. If you are somewhere together, there is a low chance she will pull you aside, but it does happen. She also gets turned on when you expose your back - she just wants to kiss them all over. Also, when you listen to her stories and show genuine interest in her knowledge. Something about that makes her want to pin you down and pleasure you for hours on the end ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- She would never actually hurt you. She can be sadistic if she needs to be, sometimes even rougher, but she would never inflict long-term consequences on your body or be a part of some heavy pain play and torture. She dislikes torture, especially given her duties, even though memokeepers are encouraged to do anything in order to receive memories, last resort is to be tortureous, so...it sticks with her in other areas as well.

I also think collars aren't her thing, not that she hates them, but she just doesn't find a big interest in them. However, if you are into them, she isn't opposed to trying it out once just to check the waters, but it also isn't something she will actively seek and propose as an idea in the bedroom

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

- She likes to give and receive. If she had to choose, she would maybe enjoy receiving just a tiny bit more because it makes her feel wanted by you. But, for her it always changes. Some days she prefers to receive more, some days to give more. It's all okay with her.

She is quite skillful, but she tends to tease a lot before she actually lets you orgasm. However, once she does let you, she won't stop letting you for a long time :3 She gets pussydrunk very easily and she is not ashamed of it at all

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

- Both. She enjoys slow and sensual much more, but she also isn't opposed to rough and fast when she feels frustrated or angry. She just loves to take her time with you, to enjoy as she can be quite hedonistic when it comes to you. But then again, rough and fast pace aren't unfamiliar to her by any means, especially if you nicely ask her for it <3

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- She isn't a huge fan of quickies because she wants to have her time with you. However, if it is absolutely necessary and neither of you can really hold it - she is perfectly fine with having a quickie. But, that never really fully satisfies her, so she prefers not to have them because it just feels like she is further teasing herself for no good reason at all :3 Patience is key, after all

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

- Hmm, Black Swan is 50/50. She isn't high on risking before she meets you, but she does get quite interested in experimenting with you. It may take her a bit to come out of her shell simply because she isn't used to long-term partners, but once she does, she is willing to try things as long as both of you are comfortable and consenting to such things :)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

- As many as you need her to, quite literally :3 But, she usually prefers 2 hours to be a standard. There aren't really rounds with her, you may take a small break in-between, but nobody is really counting rounds since Black Swan is quite quick to continue after giving both of you a short break ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

- She loves toys, even though she was quite indifferent towards them before meeting you. Now, she enjoys straps, feathers, handcuffs, vibrators and dildos as they give her more choices and ways as to how to pleasure you :)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

- She likes to tease, as mentioned. Specifically during oral, her favorite thing is to miss all of your sensitive and needy spots as many times as possible until you beg her to do something to you or to touch those spots that you need. She likes to edge you from time to time, but she prefers overstimulation. She also likes to tease you while fucking you in front of a mirror, asking you all sorts of questions while you can barely speak and telling you that she will stop if you don't answer. She also likes to strip slowly for you while you are tied for the bed, just giving you a small sensual dance, yet taking her sweet time before she actually gives you some attention, making you watch her for as long as possible <3

She also likes to lightly slap your pussy a bit before she actually starts eating you out or fingering you as she finds herself enjoying you squirming from it <3

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

- She isn't too loud. Fair amount of moans and whimpers, but they are usually medium, even a bit lower in tone. Her voice is just silky and fairly calm, so are her moans :3 She gets louder only when she is about to cum, perhaps sneaking in a little sharper whine here and there :D

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

- She tends to revisit memories of you and her...a lot. She isn't big into technology as we know it, so her version of watching sex tapes would be sitting for hours in front of memory bubbles or extracting her own memories in a way in order to have a full image in front of her. She tends to do that quite a lot. Now, of course she also does it for more romantic and innocent moments between the two of you, but her own curiosity and neediness gets better of her a lot of times :3

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

- Well, her clothes pretty much show her figure. She has a classic hourglass figure - wider hips, slimmer waist and thicker thighs. She has back dimples. Her boobs are quite big, I can't really pinpoint the cup she wears, but they sit nicely, a bit lower. They are fuller below her nipples and her nipples are medium in size, usually flat unless she is aroused :3 She has a nice ass as well, it isn't too big, but it is nicely curving and soft <3

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

- Black Swan could swear that she used to have a very low sex drive before she met you. She would get horny rarely and it would usually pass quickly as she indulges in work, but ever since she has been with you, her drive spikes. Her drive is quite high now, making her even worry a bit sometimes. But, she is also very adaptable. So, if yours is lower, she will be able to adjust to that with a little bit of practice :)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

- I don't think she goes to sleep afterwards since she has so many things to do. She will usually stay until you fall asleep and then continue her duties. However, on days and nights where she can squeeze in more personal time, she enjoys indulging in sleep with you. I think she would fall asleep fairly quickly, but don't mind her, she just feels safe and a bit tired from everything <3

[nonsensology]

So I've had these Grunkle Stan crackships on my mind for almost a year now. Could be interpreted as platonic, but I think there's great and fascinating potential if interpreted fully romantic. Full musings and explanations below (Warning: very disjointed and random).

Uncle Chan from Jackie Chan Adventures

Maybe Ford and Stan stumble across the Chans on one of their globe-trotting adventures. Both groups fight off the same supernatural threat and surprise each other with their ease and familiarity with the weird and fantastical.

I feel Uncle is kind of a weird in-between of Ford and Stan. He is knowledgeable but not a nerd like Ford, is generally cranky but doesn't get into trouble like Stan does, although he does have a level of disregard towards authority if it gets in the way of his goals. He's quick to do research instead of impulsively charging into a situation.

I think Uncle's dynamic with Stan would be hilarious. They would argue a lot on how to deal with a threat, but once they agree to work together, they could kick ass. Once he gets past his initial annoyance, Stan would probably enjoy Uncle's quips, even more so when he realizes that Uncle does not say them to be funny, he's just naturally snarky.

Uncle is never shown having any romantic interest or relationships, so I kind of headcanon him as ace, but I think it would be really interesting to see what kind of queerplatonic relationship he and Stan could form.

Jade and Mabel would probably hit it off immediately, and while Jade isn't as studious as Dipper, she also has an enthusiasm for the supernatural so she'd probably get along decently with him. She'd also probably think Stan and Ford are super cool, especially considering their lax attitude toward giving children weapons. Though they do still take the kids' safety very seriously.

Jackie is doubtful of Stan, much like he was with Viper, but seeing Stan look out for the kids would probably endear him a little. Ford might also help ease his worries, and maybe they both could have fun discussion about archeology.

I think Tohru and Soos could get along decently, though Tohru would find Soos' eccentric musings odd at first.

Additionally, Uncle's shop is in San Francisco, practically next door to Dipper and Mabel in Piedmont. The kids would easily visit each other every weekend.

Bruno Madrigal from Encanto

Stan has been to prison in Colombia, so I don't think he'd willingly travel there for fun, and Encanto Valley seems relatively closed off from the rest of the world, so I imagine their meeting is accidental, maybe a result of the Stans getting caught in a storm or something. They stay for a while in the valley while repeating their boat.

Stan might initially be outraged at the idea of the Madrigals not charging anyone for the use of their gifts, but perhaps lightens up when he sees how close-knit the community is. He'd still come up with ways they could show off their powers Mystery Shack style, probably butting heads with Alma in the process, lol. He might encourage Bruno to adapt a more showman-like approach to his seer abilities to make it more presentable and less intimidating.

Bruno and Stan connecting over their shared feelings of isolation from family is definitely what drew me to these two together in the first place. If they ever got serious about their relationship, I can imagine the biggest hurdle would be deciding if they should continue a long-distance relationship, since neither is keen on asking the other to be separated from their family.

Yuuko Ichihara from xxxHolic and Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle

Major spoiler alerts for both series. It's been many years since I've read them, and Tsubasa had so many plot twists that even CLAMP (the writers) admitted they were confused by the end result. I also might be misremembering some details, so bear with me. Factoring in the plotlines for both series and Gravity Falls would make for an incredible AU fanfic that I unfortunately am not qualified to write.

Due to Yuuko's shop being in Tokyo, a whole ocean away from Oregon, I like to imagine some timey-wimey space mumbo jumbo allowing Yuuko and Stan to meet in the dream realm. Maybe at some point, Yuuko's shop would obtain a door connecting it to the Mystery Shack.

Stan and Yuuko both have a mischievous side, though Yuuko is generally more reserved. They could start out as drinking buddies, though I imagine Stan would probably favor a light beer, while Yuuko loves sake.

They also both use aliases (it is never revealed what Yuuko's real name is), but Yuuko would likely be upfront about it. As their relationship progresses, Stan would probably feel comfortable telling Yuuko his real first name, even after she tells him the supernatural dangers of giving your real name.

While Stan scams his customers, he generally sells harmless entertainment and trinkets, whereas Yuuko grants wishes and operates strictly on an equivalent exchange basis. To quote the wiki, "All of Yuuko's customers must pay a price in order to grant their wishes, which can be no more or no less than the one demanded, or else harm will come to one's way. She is not one to tell the customer the most direct way to solve their problems because in the end, it can only be solved with that person's own realization and resolution to change themselves... Her abilities are not unlimited and may almost seem like a curse as it appears that she is unable to do anything for anyone or grant any gift (other than feelings) without it becoming a binding transaction." 

When Stan finds out just how powerful Yuuko is, I think he might react with a mixture of hesitation and awe, especially when she reveals she knows about his past, and Ford being lost in the multiverse. I am on the fence on whether Yuuko would use her powers to bring Ford home sooner, or let Stan continue working on the portal because he's already close to completing it and this would be significant in defeating Bill.

I found that the main villain of Tsubasa, Fei Wang Reed, surprisingly parallels Stan. Both endanger reality to bring back someone who is lost, but while Stan does it out of love and devotion to his family, Fei Wang Reed only did it in an arrogant plan to prove himself a powerful sorcerer. And in Fei's case, the person is already dead. CLAMP's universe establishes that the dead cannot be brought back to life, and Fei's wish to do so would cause the universe to be destroyed. I wonder if Bill would factor Fei as part of his plans.

Stan also surprisingly shares a lot in common with Fai D Fluorite. Both use their twin's name (Fai's real name is Yuui), and for much of the series Fai's tragic backstory regarding his twin is unknown, and he hides his trauma under a laid back exterior. I think Stan would empathize a lot with Fai, after he finds out his backstory.

Kimihiro Watanuki is revealed to have been created to fill a void left by Syaoran after the latter wished to turn back time. I remember Watanuki's character arc involved realizing that people cared about him. "Don't disappear", "Continue existing". Stan would probably take Watanuki under his wing, much like he did with Soos. Watanuki might find life with the Pines family far more chaotic than he's used to, but slowly warm up.

Yuuko is revealed to have died a long time ago and has basically been in magical stasis due to Clow Reed's unintentional wish. When time finally moves forward again, Yuuko eventually passes on. She doesn't return in the canon series, but Watanuki is stated to have also suspended his time to wait for her return. In this AU, maybe she reincarnates in the past and reunites with Stan and the Pines in the present day.