#also please note that that last line is written & intended to come off as extremely sarcastic.

[dykeminecraft]

I've been mulling over this for the past couple days trying to find a way to say it that doesn't come off aggressively to me but like. although I am very much allosexual. My approach to that is going to be vastly different due to. the aromanticism. & that's the part that's hard to word around, particularly if I'm not careful, bc I tend to open out with trying to make it abundantly clear, & then I feel like I'm being scolding about it.

but it is important to me, since it's a point of discomfort when I see certain things - obviously society expects a certain level of sexuality, but it also has to be the right kind, and i don't. Uh. The way I approach & feel about it does not fall under those rules, so while the "allosexual" bit Seems bog-standard on paper, the instant "aromantic" gets tacked on it starts breaking SOP and becoming insidious and dirty and bad. do you see what I'm getting at here

& I don't want to get much into the nitty-gritty of it since I don't want to cross any lines, but even if I were otherwise completely vanilla-oriented (which. I'm not,) it still wouldn't be enough to be "good". Due To The Aromanticism.

so in as blunt but also delicate a way as I can muster. I am perhaps a little weary of discussions where people find ways to frame sex (movie sex discourse primarily bc I saw a post the other day) as disgusting or unwanted. Or like it has to serve some sort of Intimate Beloved Purpose. personal discomfort does not always reflect moral values and all that but also. Goddamn it gets lonely in here sometimes. there needs to be discussions about representation and whatnot but it's Rough when it tends to come with people framing sex & sexuality as Inherently Disgusting and Immoral.

And I don't even have the good grace to pretend it's for ~romantic infatuation~ or whatever.

[kumaradosha]

I’m seeing a whole lot of bad takes and ignorance of past/present content and lack of critical thinking or ability to understand character motives regarding this most recent Dream SMP lore. So please, allow me to lay down some facts, some sense, and also some speculation of my own. This’ll be really rambly, because I’m tired, and I want to say a lot. Rewatching ALL the streaming perspectives now, my thoughts start here:

Considering Sam doesn’t want to enter the cell to dirty his hands himself, he clearly has some aversion or moral qualms about torturing prisoners, but Quackity has convinced him to go along with it. Quackity spends a lot of time before he goes into the cell repeatedly making sure Sam won’t have a change of heart and intervene, which indicates Sam probably has some misgivings. Quackity feels he has to remind Sam that this is for the greater good and to stand back and let him do his thing and that this will probably be the last time. These are all reassurances and instructions that would not be necessary if Sam were known to be totally cool with it all already.

Sam believes the stringent measures Dream put in place for the prison are just desserts for him to suffer, but Techno doesn’t deserve the same cruelty, because Techno didn’t enact those rules. And that’s why Techno gets baked potatoes from Sam, and Dream doesn’t. Sam clearly believes this harsh treatment is justified, because Dream was going to do it to someone else. He thinks he’s being just. Of course, allowing the torture, though not his idea and not really comfortable to him, was still crossing a line, considering physical torture was not something Dream did to his victims (and besides, there’s the argument that not everything a criminal has done is morally correct to be done to the prisoner regardless). That, he was convinced, was for the greater good, to get the revive book. Quackity manipulated him; he thinks he’s doing what’s best, but no, of course that doesn’t make him right or his hands clean.

Sam wanted the dog dead because it’s a security risk, especially with Quackity entering the cell with two other people. He killed it later for the exact same reason. Y’all act like nobody else has ever killed an animal in Minecraft RP; get it together. Is Sapnap also evil? Tommy? He killed his own cat. Random animals are not treated with the gravity you guys are giving them; it makes no sense to call out this one time.

When Techno raised the point that he would be fine if Quackity killed him, because Dream could just bring him back, Dream countered with his warning that Techno doesn’t want to experience death, judging by how messed up it made Tommy. What motive would he have to argue that, aside from actually caring about Techno’s well-being? If Dream was only thinking of himself, he would benefit from Techno being willing to die and be brought back to life by him, giving him an easy reason not to give the resurrection knowledge to Quackity. I honestly can’t think of a reason he would argue other than the fact that he doesn’t want Techno to die even temporarily or experience death--that he cares. Interesting...

Dream hiding in the escape tunnel to make it look like he disappeared too was 5,000 IQ, but he didn’t do it just to be silly or smart. Quackity literally threatened to kill Dream when he came back. Dream HAD to pretend to disappear, because he was legitimately in fear for his life. You saw how terrified he was when Sam found him, how he just immediately begged him not to tell Quackity. He was afraid Quackity would come back and kill him before Techno managed to come back and break him out. He believed that would be his fate and had to make a last ditch attempt to avoid that outcome.

Phil confirmed on stream that the blueprints Techno was led to via coordinates are for the prison. Not Tubbo’s missing nuke, like I’ve seen speculated.

“Steve is your polar bear” was written on stream during the “Prison Podcast” Technoblade lore. This is not a mystery. Dream said he wrote it down when Techno started talking about Steve rescuing them.

If Sam doesn’t approve of Quackity killing Dream, why doesn’t he just tell Quackity Dream is still in the prison but not allow Quackity in anymore? Quackity needs Sam to lead him inside, to let him in. Since when did he have any power against Sam to force him to let him in? I don’t understand why Sam has to keep it a secret just to keep Dream alive. Just don’t let Quackity into the prison anymore. Clearly it was a bad idea, since all these security risks happened while Quackity was getting a free pass to not follow the rules of the prison.

Dream casually walking in the way of Sam’s pickaxe to disrupt his swing once Sam almost had the bell broken gets me every time.

The rapport between c!Dream and c!Sam in prison fascinates me. Clearly Dream is much bolder with Sam than Quackity and still seems to trust his sense of duty to a degree. Sam is also more malleable, convinceable, his fatal flaw being actually listening and talking to Dream, even after it clearly messes with him psychologically. He let Quackity manipulate him, too, and he compromises too much. That might seem weird to say, considering the harsh conditions he has Dream in, but. He does give in to a few things.

I’m wondering if Dream wanted to go to the courtyard hoping it was less secure and easier for Techno to break him out of.

Sam has no reason to lie and gaslight about Dream being the one to suggest raw potatoes and sealing up the courtyard. That’s not in his character to do. So clearly Dream suggested these things. In fact, we have proof. Search for the clip of Dream revealing a teaser for future lore, with him telling Sam the hole in the courtyard ceiling for the light is a security flaw. He straight up says that. Update yourselves. Furthermore, are the recordings we have of Dream suggesting nicer features for the prison even lore? Are they in-character, or was it cc!Dream and Sam making plans? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t remember/am not sure. In any case, clearly the plans changed at some point, and they were Dream’s idea.

Dream said he didn’t realize how bad it was until after he experienced it. This could very well be a lie. However, it could also be a wake-up call. We just don’t know. Dream clearly possesses low empathy, and every person at some point doesn’t fully realize how poorly another being can feel in a bad situation. Sometimes it actually does take experiencing it yourself to realize how it feels. People can do cruel things to others before the empathy fully clicks. It is possible that Dream really does only now understand how harsh his plans were. Unfortunately, it’s just as likely he doesn’t care and is pretending to, because he has a history of acting, lying, and manipulating. We just do not know, and I think that’s part of the fun, the speculation. Note that none of this is excusing what he’s done; that bores me. I just like understanding characters and their psychology and motives.

Sam is ASKING if Dream had this prison built for Tommy. He is suspicious that that is the case. Dream did not TELL him this, because OBVIOUSLY Sam would have absolutely nothing to do with building a prison he knew Dream meant for Tommy. So no, Sam thought it was for something else. And guess what? It was. Back during the disc war finale stream, Dream told Tommy and Tubbo that the prison was originally intended for someone else (maybe multiple people, the number was not specified), but that he changed his mind and would now put Tommy in it (ha ha punny). Tubbo asked who it was originally intended for, and Dream wouldn’t tell him, preferred to keep it a mystery. Dream had zero reason to say this if it weren’t true. In fact, it would have been more impactful to pretend (or admit) he intended it for Tommy all along. Think of the horror, or even the betrayal finding out Sam, his friend, helped make it. So yes, there is every indication that it is the truth--Dream meant the prison for someone else at first.

And Dream didn’t argue with Sam’s accusations, because why WOULD he? If he didn’t tell Tubbo who it was for, he wouldn’t tell Sam now. Plus, he wouldn’t want to argue with Sam, make him more heated and less sympathetic, and risk him deciding to tell Quackity Dream was there after all. Dream has no reason to speak up. Let Sam think what he wants. Dream’s silence does not mean confirmation. This is not a new thing with him. He keeps things mysterious, and there is a lot about his planning and mindset he does not disclose.

Now, whether Dream made the prison harsher before or after he decided he wanted Tommy in it is up for speculation. We don’t know that timeline.

Anyway, Sam’s speech about Dream getting what he deserves is really delicious. All these people out here mocking Dream fans for Dream still being in prison (like Techno’s not imminently coming to break him out, hello?) and being told off by Sam, yet plenty of us are enjoying it, too, like?? Bruh, what kind of Mary-Sue-touting asshole likes characters who are flawless who never go through strife? Can’t be me. I love watching my favs through triumph AND despair, so this is all just a win for me, thanks.

It is possible to sympathize with a bastard who is highly flawed and wrong AND to understand his motivations without justifying his actions AND to realize he deserves punishment (though to what degree I don’t care to argue). All the black and white morality and taking one extreme stance of “this character is perfect!” OR “this character is wholly evil and only ever does things to be sadistic!” and polarizing the community is cringe, yo. You need to calm down. Enjoy the ride or like...get off?

Anyway, Dream is my favorite, Techno is my second favorite, I adore Sam, I really enjoy Quackity, and the SMP wouldn’t be the same without Tommy. So much love for all of this creative work and its creators. I’m having a blast.

[kaialone]

Kirby Planet Robobot Translation Comparison: Before the Final Battle

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the last cutscene before the final battle of the game.

You can also watch this cutscene for yourself in English and Japanese.

For the comparison, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

--

Before the Battle With Star Dream:

エリア７ マインド コントロールド バイ ア プログラム Mind controlled by a program

Area 7 Mind Controlled by a Program  (1)

Area 7 Mind in the Program

Secretary Susie:

……まさか こんなことに なっちゃう なんてネ…

...Well, didn't expect THIS to happen...

...This wasn't supposed to happen!

Secretary Susie:

……ぜんっぜん わらえないわ。

...This isn't funny in the slightest.

No! I won't let it!

Secretary Susie:

アタシはね、 星の夢を うばって…

You know, I just wanted to steal Star Dream...

All I wanted was to steal Star Dream!

Secretary Susie:

アイツに ほえづら かかせて、 目を さまさせたい…

I wanted to make him pay, make him come to his senses...

And teach the old man a lesson.

Secretary Susie:

そう、 思ってた だけなのよ。

That was all, really.

Was that too much to ask?

Secretary Susie:

それなのに あんな…

So, why...

Look at this mess...

Secretary Susie:

あんな くるったマシンに ほろぼされちゃ、 たまんないわ！

Why should I let some crazy machine destroy me?!  (2)

I'm not going to stand here and be destroyed by some crazy machine!

Secretary Susie:

…さぁ 乗りなさいよ、 ピンクの ゲンジュウ民。

...Alright, get in, pink native.

...There. Get in, pinky.

Secretary Susie:

このアーマーで、 さっさと あのマシンを…

Take this armor, hurry after that machine...

Take this armor and go!

Secretary Susie:

ぶっこわし ちゃってよね！！

And smash it to pieces!!

Stop that machine!

Secretary Susie:

おねがい…… 星のカービィ。

Please... Kirby of the Stars...

Please... Little pinky!

Secretary Susie:

アイツを………

You have to...

You have to stop it!

Secretary Susie:

アイツを もう… とめて………っ！

You have to... stop him...!  (3)

If anyone can do it, it's you!

Translation Notes:

I’ll go over it in more detail in the section below, but this Area’s title is actually written in English in the Japanese version. Since this is English written from the perspective of Japanese-speakers, it should maybe not be taken exactly literally, which is likely why the official English version changed it slightly.

Since this line is a follow-up of the one before it, I had to translate them a bit loosely so that I could have them match in English as well.

Because of how grammar works in Japanese, the verb in this sentence is originally the final word that is said. Since Susie is also hesitating before saying it, it gives off the impression that she might’ve intended to use a different verb before changing her mind.

--

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This section will be a bit shorter than last time, but there’s still several details I want to go over for a bit.

We have reached the final main story cutscene of the game after all, so even some smaller details here are wrapping up threads that have been present throughout the narrative.

But it’s also going to be more straightforward, as I’ll go through them in the order as they come up in the scene.

-

In the Japanese version, the final Area is called “Mind controlled by a program“, which the English version changed to “Mind in the Program“.

As I mentioned above, we should keep in mind that this Area is literally called “Mind controlled by a program” in English in the Japanese version, so the intended meaning might not be exactly what it appears to be to a native English speaker.

One meaning that comes to mind is “mind-controlled by a program”, so, the state of being mind-controlled or brainwashed by a program.

I do think that’s likely what it’s meant to invoke, alluding to Star Dream’s potential influence on Haltmann, but there might be other aspects to it, too.

For example, one interpretation I have seen from Japanese fans is closer to “mind, controlled by a program”. In other words, a mind or heart that is controlled by a program.

This interpretation is interesting to me, because it can potentially apply to not just Haltmann, but Star Dream as well.

If you look at the story as a whole, a potential “tragedy” of both these characters is that they couldn’t see beyond the “program” and as a result lose themselves in some shape or form.

Or at least, that’s one way I’d put it.

Of course, I can’t say for sure if anything like that was the intention, but I do think it’s likely that the title was supposed to be vague in a way where there could be multiple interpretations.

Because of that, I think it makes sense for the English version to adapt the Area title as “Mind in the Program” rather than keeping it the same.

It’s a bit different, but there’s a similar vagueness to it where it can mean different things depending on how one looks at it.

-

A small detail, but when Susie starts talking to Kirby at the start of this cutscene, the Japanese version has her seemingly talk in a low voice, using a lot of ellipses, making this like a quiet moment of reflection for her, as she gathers her bearings.

And then, the quiet mood is broken by her raising her voice again and going “Why should I let some crazy machine destroy me?!“, shifting the focus back to the problem at hand.

In the English version, the flow is slightly different, with her seemingly starting out with her voice raised, then quieting down as she reflects more on what happened, before raising her voice again.

-

In the Japanese version, Susie says she wanted to "make him pay, make him come to his senses…”, and the English version says she wanted to ”teach the old man a lesson”.

I think the wording of “teaching a lesson” is a good way of combining the idea of “make him pay” and “make him come to his senses” into one phrase.

But the idea of “make him come to his senses” specifically can be a bit less apparent there, making Susie’s intentions less clear to some, from what I’ve seen.

Also for the reference, in the Japanese version Susie refers to Haltmann as アイツ/aitsu here, which can be translated as something like “that guy”, and it’s something that can come off as somewhat rude when used for someone you’re not too familiar with.

The English version probably went for “the old man” to adapt this to allude to that implied familiarity, though it also comes off a bit stronger than the Japanese one.

I think that works well in this case though.

-

Another little thing, but in the Japanese version Susie tells Kirby to go after the machine and “smash it to pieces!!“, while in the English version she just tells him to “Stop that machine!“

So Japanese Susie is slightly more extreme there.

-

As mentioned in previous parts, the Japanese version exclusively had Susie call Kirby either “native” or “pink native” whenever she addressed him.

The pay-off of that trend happens in this cutscene, where Susie finally calls Kirby by his full title, “Kirby of the Stars”, after he’s taken off.

Since this also implies she knew his name all along, her using it now could be a sign of Kirby having earned her respect, or to show that she’s really being genuine here, or something to that effect.

In the English version, the way Susie refers to Kirby has been slightly less consistent, but in this cutscene she simply refers to him as “pinky”.

Kirby doesn’t have a full title in English, so using that wouldn’t be possible, so I think using “pinky” might have been meant to convey her being more casual with Kirby?

But I think they easily could’ve just had her call him “Kirby” in this cutscene, too.

It also doesn’t have the same effect as in Japanese, where she only stops calling him “native” and uses his real name once he’s already taken off, being the last time in the game where she refers to him.

It’s a small detail at the end of the day, but in the Japanese version, this moment is like the figurative cherry on top that closes out Susie’s character and her relationship with Kirby in the main story, so I think it’s a bit of a shame it’s not in the English version in some form.

-

Last point to go over for this cutscene.

In the Japanese version, Susie’s final lines are:

You have to…

You have to… stop him…!

And in the English version, her final lines are:

You have to stop it!

If anyone can do it, it’s you!

First off, in the Japanese version Susie specifically tells Kirby to stop Haltmann, using the same アイツ/aitsu she used to refer to him earlier in the scene, making it clear that’s who she means.

In the English version she’s telling Kirby to stop “it” instead, likely referring to Star Dream, or perhaps just the situation as a whole.

Adding to that, Susie also seems more hesitant in the Japanese version, which leads to an interesting point of speculation.

Like I mentioned in the translation notes, the way Japanese grammar works makes it possible that Susie may have wanted to use another verb first, before changing her mind and settling on “stop”.

Again, this is only speculation, but it feels like Susie may have wanted to say “You have to save him” first, but then stopped herself from saying that.

There’s also another detail to this that didn’t exactly fit the translation notes section, which is that in Japanese, she adds the word もう/mou in her final line, which literally means “already”.

And that basically makes her final line closer to something like “Now you have to stop him” or “At this point, you have to stop him”, but I couldn’t really include that in my translation without sounding awkward in English.

But the point is that this phrasing basically means that Susie is indirectly saying that now there is no other choice left but to stop Haltmann. In other words, it’s too late for anything else to be done.

So, regardless of whether you imagine she wanted to say “You have to save him” first or not, the Japanese version of her lines here has this feeling of resignation to them.

The English version doesn’t really carry that same feeling here.

-

And that’s it for this part.

I have similar feelings about this cutscene like I had about the previous one.

The English version is accurate for the most part as usual, it’s perfectly fine.

But, this late in the game, seeing the various small set-ups from the Japanese version pay off during the climax, whereas they don’t really do the same in English, it does make me feel like the English version is slightly lacking by comparison.

Especially Susie’s final moments in the main story here, where the Japanese version has her seemingly show some vulnerability and be genuine, which doesn’t come across quite as well in the English version.

But that’s just me pointing out the things that bother me slightly, I still think the English localization of this game is very good, as I said before.

Now, this may have been the final main story cutscene, but we still have the extra story to go through, so feel free to check that out in the next part!

--

< Previous Part | Start | Next Part >

--

[365days365movies]

February 22, 2021: Pillow Talk (1959)(Part 1)

Y’know, I actually do like Doris Day.

She’s funny, she’s talented, and she’s a timeless beauty that I remember very well. TOO well. You guys ever have that one thing that your parents crammed down your throat SO MUCH that you got sick of it? Well, that’s what my Mom did with The Thrill of it All.

Which is, for the record, a cute movie, and one worth watching again at some point. But I’m gonna ease my way into that with Doris Day and Rock Hudson’s first movie, 1959′s Pillow Talk. 

However, while I’m not stranger to Doris Day, I’m afraid that I don’t know too much about Rock Hudson from experience. Well, there is one interesting tidbit about him: Hudson was one of the biggest stars of the ‘50s and ‘60s, and his career continued up until his death in 1985...from AIDS-related complications.

Yeah, Rock Hudson was one of the biggest gay celebrities in Hollywood, although he never publicly came out. However, it was somewhat of an open secret in the community at large, and basically all of his female co-stars know about it. 

And said secret was revealed posthumously, after his tragic death during the height of the AIDS crisis. He was by far one of the most high-profile deaths during this time period, and you’d think that would’ve caused more waves about the AIDS-crisis, considering that he was good friends with...well...another actor.

Yeaaaaaaaaah, not gonna get into Reagan and ALL OF THAT SHIT here. This here is a movie blog, not a political blog! But, uh, yeah, a LOT of fucked-up shit about Reagan and the AIDS crisis, obviously, and part of it was Rock Hudson. So, yeah, it’s something that I wanted to address before we got into this whole shindig.

Because, again, I’ve never seen a Rock Hudson movie, but dude was a pretty huge deal, and this was a part of his life that I felt it unfair not to at least acknowledge. SO, with that out of the way, let’s have a little Pillow Talk. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start with that might be one of my favorite opening sequences so far this month, which you can see above. From there, Jan Morrow (Doris Day) wakes up, humming the theme song from the credits, which is clever, considering that she sang it! Talented lady, seriously.

Jan wakes up and goes to the phone, intending to make a call. However, this is where we get a pretty stark cultural difference, and a needed history lesson for some of us, me included. See, Jan’s phone line is actually a party line, seen through this neat little visual edit.

See, this is what’s called a “party line”. From the 1870s onwards, there was a shortage of available phone lines. By the time you get to the ‘60s, more and more people had personal phones in their households, but without enough lines to go around. And so, some people were forced to share their phone lines with others, hence the party line system!

Here’s the thing, though: if somebody was on the line already, anyone else on that line could hear the conversation of other people. Which is exactly what’s pissing of Jan right now, as she needs to make a call, but the line is being used by her party line partner, songwriter Brad Allen, who’s serenading his girlfriend (?) Eileen (Valerie Allen). Not sure that they’re actually dating, but Eileen definitely wants to.

After Jan’s insistence, they get off the phone, and Jan’s able to begin her busy morning at last. Well...almost. Brad’s now talking to Yvette (Jacqueline Beer), and she wants him to sing HER song to her, which is LITERALLY just the Eileen song with a different name and in French! Which is...hilarious. It’s very funny, not gonna lie.

Once again, Jan tells him to get off the party line, and hangs up angrily. She leaves just as her cleaner woman, Alma (Thelma Ritter) arrives, fresh off of a hangover. Jan goes to try and get a line of her own, and the manager, Mr. Conrad (Hayden Rorke) makes a WEIRDLY sexist comment about jumping to the top of the list if she were pregnant. Which, yeah...weird.

Anyway, Jan, in her frustration, tells Mr. Conrad that she’s hired of sharing the line by a “sex maniac.” Mr. Conrad asks for specifics, and is AGAIN WEIRDLY SEXIST ABOUT IT. He asks if his dalliances with other women disturb her in particular. But yeah, he also says that if he is indeed a “sex maniac,” they may need to disconnect him altogether. Which has...uncomfortable undertones all on its own, but whatever, moving on.

On her way to work, Jan’s friend Jonathan Forbes (Tony Randall) shows up to bring her a STRAIGHT-UP CAR, holy shit! He’s doing so to thank her for decorating his offices (she’s an interior decorator, he’s a car dealership owner, so...fair exchange?). She insists that it’s too personal, which confuses him, as it isn’t perfume or lingerie.

But, uh, dude? IT’S A WHOLE-ASS CAR!!! Look, I’m with her on this one, don’t just give me a fuckin’ car out of the blue! I don’t care what the reason is, tell me that shit first! And Jonathan is CLEARLY trying to make it just a little more personal, if you get my meaning.

Jan finally arrives at her office, owned by Mr. Pierot (Marcel Dalio), and she tells him that an inspector has been sent to look after Mr. Allen. This inspector is Miss Dickenson (Karen Norris), and being of the wimmins, is immediately entranced by the apparently irresistible Mr. Allen, sabotaging any attempt at inspection.

The next morning, the inspector’s report comes through, and Miss Dickinson has of course cleared him of all charges. He calls her, and the two clash in a way that definitely means they’ll never, ever, ever fall in love, no sir, not these two, not a CHANCE IN HELL

They agree to make a schedule for using the phone, and Brad accuses Jan of being jealous of his free-wheeling, bed-hopping lifestyle, which she takes great offese to. But after they hang up, she thinks on the idea of having bedroom problems. Looks like Jonathan wants to fix that, on account of being the THIRSTIEST MAN ALIVE.

Dude has three three ex-wives, all of which were revolts against his mother, for which he’s seeing a psychiatrist.

...CHRIST, the man’s a walking-talking red flag. Jan also says that she doesn’t love him, like...AT THE FUCK ALL, and the man just straight-up says, “How do you know, we’ve never even kissed.” Ai which point, any normal person would see the phantom neckbeard and whip out the fuckin’ bear mace, but Jan just lets him lean in for the goddamn kiss!!!

Jan...standards, Jan. My God. Anyway, she still turns him down, he asks her to get married again, and she leaves. For God’s sakes, man. Anyway, she goes home, where Alma’s listening to Brad serenade a girl over the party line. Jan notes the time, and tells him to get off the line. He calls back, and tells her off.

Brad gets a visitor: his old college friend FUCKIN’ JONATHAN AGAIN. He bemoans being a millionaire (po’ babyyyyy), then reveals that he’s pining over Jan, whom he doesn’t know is the person on the party line with Brad. He hears a good amount of information about Jan from Jonathan.

After the conversation, Brad tries to somewhat reconcile with Jan, but she doesn’t have any interest in doing so. That night, the two have separate affairs. Brad meets up with a woman named Marie, and  serenades her with the same goddamn song from earlier, that suave motherfucker. Dude flips a switch, and the door fuckin’ LOCKS! Jesus, state-of-the-art hook-up tech of 1959.

Meanwhile Jan is attending a dinner held by an extremely client, Mrs. Walters (Lee Patrick). Needing to get home, she has her son Tony (Nick Adams) give her a ride. But on the way home, they stop and WHAT THE FUCK TONY??? I actually can’t find a clip or GIF of this, so I’ll tell you...he is ALL THE FUCK OVER HER, and it’s GROSS. CAN WE PLEASE STOP SEMI-RAPING DORIS DAY? WHAT THE FUCK, IN NO WAY IS WHAT I JUST WATCHED OK, HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Like...wow, that was the most uncomfortable I’ve felt watching a movie in a WHILE. And it’s not even because of the act itself, it’s because of how...OK it feels in the context of the film. Jan is BARELY upset by this slimy little weasely-faced rapey CREEP LITERALLY ASSAULTING HER IN THE FUCKING CAR. And in case you were wondering, yes! This film was written by FOUR MEN.

This is gross. Sorry, but this whole sequence is gross, and it gets even LONGER, because she AGREES TO GO GET A DRINK WITH HIM. WHY, JAN? STOP ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR. He tries to get her drunk (but ends up drunk himself), but she tries to leave. However, who should be sitting one table but Brad, who realizes who this is. Jan tries to leave, but Tony tries to get her to dance with him, AND SHE ONCE AGAIN AGREES, JAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!

And its during this time of distress for Brad that, OF COURSE, he finds himself extremely attracted to her. And since he knows who she is, but she doesn’t know him, he decides to fake his identity. And there we go, we’ve got a creepy-ass one-sided relationship set-up.

Meanwhile, lightweight Tony passes out on the floor, drunk as shit. Brad goes into help, putting on a take Texas accent and calling himself Rex Stetson. And OF FUCKING COURSE, she’s lost in his fuckin’ eyes. Damn those eyes, and his suave bullshit.

They shove Tony into a cab, then take his car, which appears to be too small for Brad, which makes sense, given the fact that Hudson was 6′4″, goddamn! The two take a cab, and the two reveal their mutual attraction to the audience, through their inner thoughts. Looks like all Jan needed for a relationship was handsome-ass Rock Hudson.

In her thoughts, she thinks on how honest and down-to-earth Rex Stetson seems, unlike “monsters” like Tony and Brad Allen. And OF COURSE this is how we get this started. OF GODDAMN COURSE this is how we start this relationship. Liar revealed, LIAR REVEALED, I FUCKIN’ HATE THAT GODDAMN TROPE SO MUCH

Soon after “Rex” takes her home, he goes home herself, and gives her a call, inviting her to dinner the following night. She accepts. Then, in the middle of the call, Brad pretends to pick up the line as himself, in order to set up the two identities as being separate...this is reverse You’ve Got Mail, isn’t it?

Think about it. Two people that hate each other, and they’ve never seen one another, but also love each other after meeting in person. IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF YOU’VE GOT MAIL. Ugh. Fine. Even down to the fact that he has a sizeable advantage over her, due to his full knowledge of the situation. He even tries to use his identity as Brad Allen to set-up their date the next night for success.

And it works, goddamn. A clever yet manipulative asshole, this dude is. They get on a horse and carriage, and we hear the inner thoughts of Jan, Brad, and the dude who owns the horse. And, yeah...it’s funny. The two go to dinner, where Jonathan shortly arrives. Brad gets him out of there with...mildly fatphobic means, but it is the 1950s, so things were just kinda...entirely that.

But in any case, Brad gets away with it, and he and Jan spend a hell of a lot of time together going all around the city. And the whole time, he’s playing the role of “Rex.” Ugh. This is a good halfway point, so let’s go to Part 2 here! See you there!

[nosunsetsjustsilence]

The Manics and Gender Identity, Part 1

There is a lot to unpack in Nicky and Richey’s early lyrics pertaining to gender, particularly in terms of identifying with women. Richey approaches the subject — as he is wont to do — with regard to the exploitation and degradation of the female image, while Nicky’s attitude is more inquisitive and casual. Both use lyrics to express their own personal “What if?”

Make no mistake: I’m not claiming that either Nicky or Richey is/was non-cis or trans or anything other than curious. But it’s clear from their personal lyric struggles and hard-won lifestyle choices that this was a different time they were living in. In the 1990s, gender identity was not a topic with any kind of mainstream recognition, at least beyond those who wanted a “sex change” or girls who were considered “one of the boys”. I think it’s fascinating, at least from my perspective, to go back and examine the themes of gender dysphoria, identity, and frustration in lyrics written before any of it was part of popular conversation, and in a way that emphasized the then absolute cultural disconnect between desire and society.

Also, it’s important to note that both Nicky and Richey have presented gender in ways that don’t have anything to do with lyrics. Nicky is comfortable in traditionally female clothing and wears dresses on and off stage; both band members wore makeup and feathers on a regular basis. I’ve tried to write about gender in terms of lyrics only, but at times I do take examples from visual media.

Finally, keep in mind that yours truly is non-binary, and the discussion will hopefully not reek of a cis person watching queer men from behind bars in a zoo.

Special thanks to @sinisterrouge for vetting this before I posted <3

Little Baby Nothing

Although Richey seemed to find comfort in claiming that his lyrics were about the larger world — in the case of Little Baby Nothing, feminism and the way women are perceived in media — a closer look usually reveals a personal stake. When I discussed the meaning of this song previously, I emphasized that the “Little baby nothing” in question is clearly Richey himself, writing in the first person and deconstructing his own image to align with a kind of mindless female groupie used for sex.

My mind is dead, everybody loves me Wants a slice of me Hopelessly passive and compatible Need to belong, oh the roads are scary Hold me in your arms I wanna be your only possession

Richey often refers to himself as a “slut” and a “prostitute” and uses self-referential porn star imagery in his lyrics (So Dead: “You need a fix I’m your prostitute”, Yes: “there’s no lust in this coma even for a fifty”), aligning the industries of pornography and music performance in very vivid ways most often pertaining to exploitation. Appropriately, singing pivotal stanzas on this track is none other than Traci Lords, arguably most famous (especially in the early 90s) for an underage porn scandal.  

What’s more, in the lyrics booklet for Generation Terrorists, there is a quotation or excerpt included for each song. The following corresponds to Little Baby Nothing:

“The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples.” -Valerie Solanos.

Ninety percent of what the Manics said and did in their early years was intended to be shocking and/or ironic. Of course they were trying to incite anger and riots, the questioning of institutions, and a teardown of normalcy. But the fact that Richey later used part of this radical statement as the title to one of his songs (“Of Walking Abortion”, natch) proves that he took it somewhat seriously, even if only in the most simple sense — that part of him resented his own maleness.

Life Becoming a Landslide

This is another song I’ve previously discussed, mostly in the arena of Nicky and Richey individualizing their distinctive voices into lines that can clearly be attributed to one or the other. In a song about nature vs nurture and the plastic confines of greater humanity cracking down on who or what someone is really supposed to be, we have:

Life becoming a landslide Ice freezing nature dead Life becoming a landslide I don’t wanna be a man

As far as writing style goes, Nicky was always fairly straightforward. Richey loves to convolute his message with proper nouns and alternating verb cases and a lack of a subject just to throw  people off, but here’s Nicky, my boy, just saying, “Dude. Being a man sucks. I don’t like this.”

He could mean that being human in general sucks. But, since his attitude towards women leads me to believe he would not abbreviate humanity in this way, and given his and Richey’s track record with gender and Nicky’s well-documented gender presentation, I think it’s clear the lyric means that he doesn’t want to be male. Because he feels it doesn’t suit him, for whatever reason. And that nature failed by making him a man instead of a woman.

Yes

‘Yes’ is an incredible song. Its major-chord melody juxtaposed against Richey’s raw portrait of degradation is truly a thing to behold. The theme? Being used, prostitution both literal and metaphorical (“For sale? dumb cunt’s same dumb questions”), exploitation in the name of capitalism (“In these plagued streets of pity you can buy anything”), and reaching the lowest possible point of existence (“Purgatory’s circle, drowning here, someone will always say yes”). But the chorus — the chorus boasts one of the rawest images of sexual violence the band has ever used:

He’s a boy, you want a girl so tear off his cock Tie his hair in bunches, fuck him, call him Rita if you want

Wow. Okay. Where to begin? The implication here is that gender, along with everything else, is mutable if you have enough money and power to abuse people. However, it appears the change would be made not to entertain others, but to appeal to a specific person, sexually (“fuck him”). The “you” in question is clearly attracted to women, so the narrator offering to mutilate himself to please them can be seen as a last-ditch act of desperation. (“It feels like this massive defeat,” said a friend. “You can make him a woman to pleasure someone, but what’s left to change after that?”)

Richey wrote most of the song; “Rita”, obviously, is the name used for an alternative female identity. But who would Rita be? Richey seems to be wondering. Would she still be me? And would the change even be worth the affections of whomever he’s speaking to? If the means are so drastic (and difficult to picture without experiencing secondhand pain), that answer would usually be “no”. But the song is called “Yes”. I would say yes to anything at this point, Richey is saying, even the most extreme sexual violence imaginable, if that’s what you wanted.

4st 7lb

This is an extreme example of Richey using world issues to examine his own nature. Although anorexic himself, Richey writes “4st 7lb” from the point of view of an obsessive young girl admiring thin models. There could be multiple reasons for this, not the least of which is that when a person fails to fit the “classic” case of an eating disorder, they are often ignored. So, Richey says, you need me to be a teenage girl? I can do that. 

(Note that in 1994, when this song was written, any eating disorder demographic outside the “white girl who loves fashion too much” model did not exist by medical standards and was usually subject to ridicule.)

Karen says I’ve reached my target weight Kate and Emma and Kristin know it’s fake Problem is diet’s not a big enough word I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view

Embodying the anorexic female stereotype allows Richey to criticize both the world and himself; by creating a parody of a young girl with an eating disorder, he creates commentary on how ridiculous and counter-intuitive her thought process actually is. The song is brutal and often focuses on nudity and sexual imagery, as it has been suggested in studies that eating disorders occur in those who are trying to annihilate their own puberty. Though Richey was well into his 20s when he wrote this, he often expressed a loathing of aging and the entire concept of adulthood.

Stomach collapsed at five Lift up my skirt my sex is gone Naked and lovely and 5 stone 2 May I bud and never flower My vision’s getting blurred But I can see my ribs and I feel fine My hands are trembling stalks And I can feel my breasts are sinking

Ultimately, “4st 7lb” hits hard as both an experiment in identity and a vicious satire of the rich white girl eating disorder cliché. Although the lyrics do not express a desire to become female, they do indicate that Richey feels everything might be easier and fit more neatly into a box if he were a girl.

[Coming in Part 2: The Girl Who Wanted to be God, Tsunami, Born a Girl, and Pretention/Repulsion.]

[nerdiebird]

Open Letter from Joel Birch

“This is, in actual fact, my open letter.

There will be a few people out there that may jump to a particular conclusion regarding some of the lyrics on our new record, however, I felt I needed to be as open as I have been in the past, and explain myself. As you may or may not know, I am responsible for all of the lyrics in Amity. I can’t even play a chord on a guitar or hit the drums in time, so fortunately I am at least competent, (although I’m sure there are detractors out there who think otherwise), at writing lyrics.

During the course of Amity, suicide and self harm have been prevalent topics; all the way back to High Hopes which had the cringe-worthy, corny lyrics of ‘please stop cutting yourself’ we have engaged with our listeners as much as possible, to convey a positive message. There was an overwhelmingly large amount of people - wait, I should say percentage of people - coming to our shows that had evidence of self harm, and that was distressing from the get go. There is a tendency for the style we play, and a lot of other sub genres that compose the laundry list of styles out there, to have dark imagery associated with the music. Sometimes this is in jest, sometimes it’s meaningless, and sometimes it is an open window to people’s psyche. Whatever the case, a lot of people who get into this music often times have had to deal with mental illness either themselves, or dealt with it in their circle of friends.

Over the past decade there has been a slow - a very slow - move to a greater public awareness, but I can say that when we first started seeing it manifest itself physically at our shows, awareness was quite low, and intolerance and avoidance quite high. Anyway, I am prone to ramble, so I’d better get to the point a little faster. We’ve grown in stature since High Hopes, we play to more people, more people listen to our music on the radio, downloading it, whatever - and thusly, more people have become aware of my own struggles with depression and anxiety over the years. I have had clinically diagnosed depression for the better part of a decade, but when I dealt with it in my teens, I was told that everyone feels the same etc, if you have any experience with it I’m sure you’ve heard similar sentiments. Over the years, due to the increase in listeners, there has also been a steady increase of communication between myself and said listeners. This started out easy enough for me to deal with, as there were only a few people who would approach me after we’d played, we’d have a quick chat, and off they went.

Since Chasing Ghosts however, there has been a significant increase in letters, messages, and conversations between myself and you guys, and sometimes the messages and letters are extremely heavy, emotionally. I’m not made of stone, and being someone who suffers from the same problems, this has led to some extreme insecurities, personally.

I don’t feel equipped to properly handle some of these notes. I’m not professionally trained to give the necessary advice, and so a lot of the time I’m left scrambling for words to stop people from feeling so down, they really want to kill themselves. This hits hard for me, I feel extremely helpless, I don’t know what to do; I’ve lost many nights of sleep over urgent messages that I don’t know how to respond to. Let me be clear: I do not want anyone to feel like they can’t write to me, that’s not what this is about, I just need to explain the lyrics that discuss this problem on our record. I am glad that sometimes a few lines of encouragement to seek advice is all that’s needed, but sometimes I know that I haven’t done enough, and what’s worse than that, is that I don’t even know how to do more. I wrote Don’t Lean On Me especially to deal with this; I am dealing with depression and anxiety, and so I can fully empathise with everyone out there that has it, to whichever degree they are dealing with it, but I remain inadequate as an advicegiver.

I just need people to know that when a message is written to me, it doesn’t just roll off my back like water. I have felt physically ill in the past after reading some letters, just hearing the sheer desperation in the tone of them is enough to bring tears to my eyes, and still, time after time, I don’t know how to adequately reply.

Music is my personal outlet, it gets me through a lot problems within myself that I may not have been able to deal with otherwise, and likewise, it is the only language I understand when it comes to helping people get through life. I feel like I have poured myself out selflessly over the last four years where our music is concerned; I opened myself up like I never had before to try and help other people get through the same problems. I still to this day am a massive advocate of music as the message, it’s why I get (publicly) upset about bands trumpeting themselves when there are people out there who are actively searching for music to help them. Music does save lives, I believe that, and I am trying my hardest to actively contribute lyrics that can get people through.

I promise I will never take the selfish route and cut you, the listeners, out of the way I write lyrics, and the messages I convey; just remember next time you are writing to me - I understand your pain, I understand what you are going through for the most part, but the best I can do is listen, and point you in the right direction. I am easily affected by your messages, because I empathise with you on such a deep level, just remember that. Sometimes the only comfort I need is to know that someone else out there understands, and I hope I can give you that comfort through our music, as I am unable to provide it personally to all of you. I am trying my best, I just ask you don’t get offended by my writing about how your pain has a certain transference that I am sure you never intended.”

Joel Birch, lead singer of the Australian metalcore band, The Amity Affliction, posted this open letter onto the band’s website regarding their 4th studio album, Let the Ocean Take Me, released in 2014. Joel has been open about his dealings with depression and wanted to convey his thoughts to fans who also deal with these issues. One song off the record, Don’t Lean On Me, was written as a sort of response to fans who have relied on the band and their music to persevere through hard times; Joel feels that since he also struggles with mental illness, he is inadequate to help and so, Don’t Lean On Me was his message to fans not to rely on him for support.

[bigsnzstanacct]

Kn/ives Out - Ran/som fic part 2

Lmao this is like three times longer than I intended for it to be and I REALLY don’t know if the character dynamics will read or not (and I fear the last part was much better written) but... here be sneezing. Lots of it. Part one is here, fic under the cut! (also please note there is an abundance of very important sneeze related italics and bolding currently missing which I will add back in... eventually.)

Oh and obviously I have not the foggiest idea how medicine works. Just... suspend your disbelief, ok?

Marta was in the middle of cooking breakfast for her mother when her phone rang.

For a moment, when Marta saw the name pop up on her phone, her heart raced. Was she late for Harlan’s? She looked at the time for a second before she answered. No, she wasn’t late so… why was he calling nearly two hours before she was due to arrive?

“Good morn—” Marta began, but Harlan cut in before she could finish.

“I’m so sorry to trouble you dear but—oh gods—”

His voice suddenly cut off, as though he’d taken the phone from his ear. And then she heard over the line something that sounded like a cross between an extremely violent exorcism and the wildly enthuiastic mating call of some exotic mammal.

“Will you cut out that racket for twelve seconds? Maybe then I could get you some relief but…”

And there it was again, an unearthly roar. Only this time it didn’t come alone. There were two, three, four, five. Marta pulled her phone away from her ear. What on earth was hapening at Harlan’s house? At last, the roaring ceased, and she put the phone back to her ear as she heard Harlan.

“Dear, if you could, can you come by earlier than your usual time? And… does that nurses’ bag contain any sort of antihisti—no, no don’t come over here…”

And then another of those terrible eruptions, clearly closer to the reciever this time, so loud Marta yanked the phone away from her ears as a great rush of static and sound came through, came thorugh so loudly she was surprised she didn’t see sparks exploding from her phone. And all at once, she realized she could make out what was happening, although it hardly seemed possible…

“HOOOOOOOORRRRSSSHHHHH!!”

Was it… a sneeze?

“Harlan… is that… is that your grandson…?”

And it wasn’t Harlan who answered, with a weary sniff and a clearly stuffed nose, but Ransom who commanded. “Come here. Now. Bring some a-ahhh.. ahhhhhh… allergahhhhh… hHAHHHHHH…”

She had the good sense to pull the phone from her ear before the eruption this time:

“HHHHAATTCCHHHAAAAAAAA!!”

But unfortunately, she brought the phone back to her ear just in time for a shorter but still impossibly louder:

“HHAAEESSHHH!! Fuck. Come now. Bring allergy mehhhhh…hehhHHHH…HEHHHHHHHH….”

And then she the first screaming start of another “EEYYY—” before the phone clicked silent.

Well, apparently she was heading to Harlan’s. Antihistimines in tow.

—

“Oh thank God, finally. Just… please get him some meds and get him…”

“AAARRRRSSSSHHHHHHOOOOO!!”

“Please shut him—”

“EEYYYSSSSHHHH!!”

“Oh god—”

“AAEEESSSHHHH!! HAAEEEESSSSHHHHH!!”

Walt made some sort of wordless throat sound then, but Marta was very clear that it was intended to convey frustration.

“EERRRRRSSSHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!! FUCK!”

Marta took a moment to make a mental note that apparently Ransom couldn’t yell fuck nearly as loudly as he could sneeze, though he still yelled fuck quite loudly.

“Please, please get him doped up on something. We’re trying to have a meeting about the damn company and every three seconds he’s doing that. Please. I’m on my last nerve and I didn’t have that many to start with, eh? You’re such a lifesaver.” Walt said, and Marta took a moment to wonder how his speech could sound simultaneously so laconic and so hurried, and how he ensured she could get not a single word in edgewise, such that before she could so much as agree to his request, he was heading back towards Harlan’s study. But before he could, Ransom came swaggering down the stairs.

Of course he was gearing up for a sneeze.

“I’m sorry if I’m an inconvenience t-to you… to… huhh… HAARRSSHHHH!! But you have no idea what this is like, no idea, and I’m not going to try to h-hold back and be puhhh… poliiihhhhh… sneeze! AAARRRSSSSHHHHHOOO!! Damnit! That one hurt…”

To Marta, it seemed as though it must hurt

“If I’m gonna sneeze, I’m gonna do it hard enough to get the fucking itch out at least for a goddamned second, and if you don’t like that Uncle Walt then fuhhhh… fuuhhhHHUUHHHH… HUUUUUUUSSSHHHHH-HHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

He could have finished the “fuck you” he was obviously headed towards, but Marta thought the death metal scream he let out with that sneeze served much the same purpose.

“You,” he said, pointing at Marta. “Upstairs with me, n-nahhh… now.” For a moment it seemed Ransom was going to sneeze again, but he reached up with a wrist and scrubbed at his nose viciously, pulling his thumb across the left nostril harshly before returning to knuckle at the right nostril, as though he were trying to wrestle the sneeze into submission. Still, as they ascended the stairs, clearly headed towards Harlan’s study, it seemed it was a losing battle.

“Guhhh… so fucking sick of sneehh…” Ransom muttered to himself. Marta had to resist the urge to reach up and pat his shoulder. They weren’t close, weren’t friends even. But it sure seemed like he was suffering.

And then all at once he gave up the struggle.

“Ah, fuck.” Ransom said, before stopping on the stairs so abruptly that Marta nearly bumped into him. “huhhhh.. HUUUUuhhh…” he panted towards the next sneeze. Marta was just glad she stopped in time, as she probably would have run smack-dab into his rear end when he doubled over with another bellowing: “HHHAAAAAA-CCHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

“Bless—” Marta started, but she was cut off.

“HUH! HUURRRSSSSHHHHAAaaaahhhh!”

“Bless—”

“EEEYYYASSSSHHHH!!”

“Oh, my bless—”

“St-stop trying to blehh… HEEEYYYYYSSSHHHHhhhoooo!!”

Marta just stood, uncertain of what to say or do.

“Is that it? I think… or… oh fuck, oh fuck. oh fuck I gottaaaaahhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAARRRRRRSSSSSHHHHHH-OOOOOOHHH!!”

He absolutely blasted out what was the loudest sneeze Marta had heard from him yet, very nearly as loud as the “augmented” sneezes he delivered at that dinner.

“God DAMN it!” Ransom exclaimed, and flung his fist out against the wall, very nearly hitting Marta behind him.

“Hey!” she exclaimed.

“What.” He said, whirling on her, face thunderous. But by degrees he seemed to come to himself, his usual grin slowly spreading across his face, though it seemed stretched and thin. “Sorry, I just. Hate these fucking allergies. And sorry if I… spray you or something else disgusting like that just… just do me a favor and don’t say anything, huh? If I do anything really gross I’ll buy you a car or something.”

Marta wasn’t sure how seriously to take that; he probably didn’t have the funds to buy a car on his own. But she was familiar with the noblesse oblige of this family. If he did sneeze on her, which, by the fact that he mentioned it suggested he’d done such a thing before, he probably would at the least send her a very nice poorly explained fruit basket, or some concert tickets. The latter might not be bad. At least she could resell them.

“And stop trying to bless me.” He further instructed, though he was obviously trying for jocular or conspiratorial. The gruffness of his voice meant that he missed it by a mile, but he tried.

“Trust me you’ll run out of bless yous before I run out of snehh… oh fuck not agaahhhh… again… AAASSSSHHHHHhhhuuhhhh!!”

“Bless—”

Ransom just looked at her, and raised a weary eyebrow.

They had reached Harlan’s study, and he even opened the door for her as she entered. “Thanks.” she said quietly.

“Don’t worry about it. Just… get me those shots as quick as you can.”

“I thought we’d start with tablets, I have something prescription—”

“Shots. Now.” He interrupted as he flung himself down on Harlan’s couch, limbs akimbo, one leg on the coffee table, one arm slung over the back of the couch. Marta couldn’t help but notice the bulk of him. He wasn’t remarkably tall, and he didn’t immediately read as the body builder type but… he had very broad shoulders, and a broad chest. A body probably built by years of expensive personal trainers. Ransom was the type of man who probably always wanted to be the most beautiful person in the room. If muscles were part of that, he’d get muscles. If it was fashion, he’d buy fashion. Attention, without asking for it, was the goal.

“AAASSSHHHHHOOOOO!! Fuck, hurry up, hurry I feel more comin… hehhh… damb dogs…”

“Of course.” Marta said, rifling through her bag.

“So I take it you use a strong antihistimine on a regular basis? I’m not—”

“HEEEAASSSHHHHH!! EEEEASSSSSHHHH!! aahhhhhh… HHAAEESSSHHH! Jesus, y-yes I tahh… take allergy shots, yes I kn-know this isn’t a suhhh… substitute for my prescription, I juhhh… huhhhh…. just n-need somethihhhh… somethiihhHHHHH… something NOW…” he said, knuckling and pressing under his nose again, scrubbing so hard Marta almost thought to tell him to move his hand and just let himself sneeze, she didn’t mind, she’d seen plenty of sneezing, but something told her that for all he talked about his allergies, he’d much prefer she keep her commentary to herself.

“hhheeeeyyYYYYAAAAAAAASSSHHOOOOOO!!” he erupted, with a huge sneeze that made his limbs all fly forward, keeping his seat on the couch while the rest of him stretched out and nearly collapsed into a ball before he unwound from the sneeze, letting his head fall back onto the couch arm with a heavy sigh.

“God. Damn.” He grouched. “ARGH.” He huffed. “Stupid fucking…” he cursed.

Clearly he needed a sympathetic ear. Marta honestly wasn’t sure that she really wanted to listen to Ransom whine—poor little rich kid, acting like allergies were the worst thing ever to happen to a person—but she took one look at him, looking pissed, petulant and pitiful on the couch, and she couldn’t help but take some pity.

“Sounds like you’re really suffering over there.” Marta said gently.

As expected, this opened the floodgates: “God, you have no fucking idea, pardon my French. this is why I take the damn shots in the first place, I’ve just been… I’ve been busy and I haven’t had time to go to damn doctor and… I thought I had more time, I really did. But the damn allergies just go from zero to fucking sixty, and it’s worse at Harlan’s… of all the times for my fucking allergies to go nutso, it has to be while I’m here, when I crash overnight at my grandfather’s, cause it was close to… well it doesn’t matter what it was close to, but… listen, uh uh… don’t tell me…”

Was he… was he asking for her name?

“Marta?” she said, almost incredulous that after all this time, years, that he’d been around her, he didn’t know her name?

“Yeah, listen, Marta,” he plowed on, as though he hadn’t just asked for the name of a person he’d known for years, “I… like sneezing, you know? Who doesn’t like an excuse to randomly shout. Plus, you saw, the way my family reacts, it’s funny… oh shit, I shouldn’t have talked about… I’m gonna… I… HHEEESSSHHHHHHOOOoooo! Ah, fuck. Big one.” He pawed around in his pockets, pulling out a clearly bedraggled set of tissues and blowing his nose before he continued. “Sneezing is fine. But this… I’m a fucking mess. And it doesn’t help that Walt is down there bitching about some damn meeting… like I can help it! So I’m a little loud when I sneeze! My fucking face is staging a rebellion, my goddamn nose wants to fall…”

Marta turned towards him then, as he trailed off suddenly, and then wished he’d provided his usual warning when he screamed out a surprisingly high pitched “AAAHHHHHHHSSHHHTTCHHHH! God damn it, it just… it fucking itches…” He set to his nose again, squishing and rubbing and pressing and downright attacking it as though that would prevent further sneezes, when on present evidence it was clear it wouldn’t. He pulled out the tissues again and gave a loud, honking nose blow into one that almost rivaled his sneezes in volume.

“Jesus. I can’t stop sneezing, Marta. And it sucks.”

“Well,” Marta cut in, syringe in the solution she needed, “this should help. Just roll up your sleeve, I’ll inject your right arm.”

“Ah, fuck, thank you. You’re my hero.” He said, and even with his red nose rubbed raw and red-rimmed eyes, she could see how he could be a hell of a charmer, when he wanted to be.

“Just uh… I need you to not sneeze while the needle’s in your arm, so… do you feel one coming now?”

“I always ‘feel one coming’.” He said, a little gruff. But his tone softened a bit as he added, “I can usually fight it off, don’t worry.” He sat up on the couch and rolled up his sleeve as he spoke, revealing a slightly tanned, extremely toned bicep.

“Alright, here we go then.” Marta said, giving it a second, just to make sure his face didn’t scrunch with a sneeze. She cleaned the arm quickly with an alcohol swab and then inserted the needle.

It seemed as soon as she did his face scrunched, and she was surprised he didn’t jerk his arm. His left hand came up to his nose, and he went into his routine of itching and rubbing. Marta quickly wrapped up the shot, and even had time to apply a bandaid before he shot forward to his feet with a huge “HHHEEEEAAAATTSSSCCCHHHHooooo! Ah fuck, you have no idea how bad I needed that.”

Whether he was talking about the shot or the sneeze Marta wasn’t sure, but before she could ask he was already sneezing again.

“EEEEYYYASSHHH! AAAAAIIISSSHHH! AAASSSSSHHH!”

“Are you okay? You’re sneezing more now than you were before?”

“No I always sn-sneeze for a while right… s-sorry—HAAAEESSHHH! YEASSSHHHH! hhaahhhh… HOOOOOOSSSHHHH! Fuck. -sniff- I always sneeze a ton right after the shot, just on and off. I’m sure it’s working.” He was outright panting now, and she could barely tell the difference between how his chest heaved in the aftermath of a sneeze and how it heaved in preparation for one.

They sat in silence for a bit, Ransom having pulled out his cell phone, Marta going through her bag, setting up for Harlan. They didn’t talk anyway, though any silence they might have had was punctured by Ransom’s sneezes. But they already seemed to be getting further apart, Ransom a bit more respite in between sneezes, though he seemed to sneeze more in a row when they did hit.

At length, he looked over at Marta and spoke: “It’s Harlan’s fault I sneeze so loud, you know.”

“Hm?” She was curious how exactly this could be blamed on Harlan. She’d heard him sneeze before and it wasn’t the quietest thing in the world, but Marta didn’t know if all the heritability in the world could explain Ransom’s one-man-orchestra of a sneeze.

He must have noticed her skepticism, because he rolled his eyes and straightened up on the couch a bit, having spread out again. He made eye contact, sniffed heavily and knuckled at his nose again, but when he spoke he had a warm, engaging tone. “No, really. It’s Harlan. When I was younger, I had these really bad allergies. And my nose would get so bunged up with snot—I know that’s gross, sorry—but the point is, it would run and shit and then I would sneeze and it would make a huge mess and my dad would complain and my mother would try to make apologies for me but that was worse because it was so obvious I’d shamed her just cause I couldn’t control my stupid nose. Well, anyway long story short Harlan doesn’t exactly have the world’s quietest sneeze either, and one day he took me aside and told me how when you sneeze, you can kinda just… push it through your mouth? And it’s really loud but it doesn’t make nearly as much mess. Plus,” he flashed a classic Ransom smirk, “like I said, it’s an excuse to yell in public. And nobody can even get mad because aller… shit. A-allergehhhh.. hehhhhh… fuck, it’s cuhh… huhhhhh… HUUUUUUHHH…

HAAHH-HHOOOOOOOOOOOOORRSSHH!!”

It was a full on cartoon sneeze buildup, Ransom’s shoulder’s hiking up higher as his breath hitched in more and more air, his face contorting into a desperate grimace before he blasted out the sneeze, true to his word mostly just a roar of air out of his mouth, though he couldn’t help a bit of messy-sounding splash from escaping his nose at the end. His allergy sneezes really were nearly as loud as the ones he screamed out on purpose. Sometimes he exaggerated them, but Ransom clearly was in possession of a truly violent sneeze reflex. Maybe they didn’t have to be so rocketingly loud and there was certainly a lot of performance that attended his sneeze, but it did seem like trying to stifle or choke back one of those monsters would be painful.

“I get it. I had allergies too.” Marta surprised herself by saying. “I uh… obviously didn’t find the same solution as you but. When I first moved up here—”

“To America?” Ransom asked, without looking at her.

Marta couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “To Massachusetts!” she barely restrained herself from adding “you idiot” on the end there, but she caught herself at the last moment. “I was born in California.” He just shrugged in response. “And the pollen is different there,” she continued, “I came up here and for the first few years, every spring, it drove me crazy.”

“I’m allergic to basically everything. Pollen, dander, dust, you name it. I get heavy duty antihistimines on top of my monthly shots, but they haven’t renewed my ‘scrip. Hey, can you help me? I bet I got the name of the medicine on my phone somewhere…”

As he said that, Harlan came through the door, smiling.

“Well, our little miracle worker. I think we went ten minutes without the air raid siren going off.”

Ransom just waved off Harlan, still stretched out across the couch, while Harlan took a seat in a large chair. Marta noticed he was smiling.”

“I’m just up here to check on you two. And to get away from your uncle,” Harlan added winkingly. “I don’t think he could make those meetings duller if he were actively trying. Plus he’s on edge because of… this morning.”

“Ah fuck him,” Ransom chimed in.

“I’m not blaming you Ransom. It’s not your fault you have allergies.”

“Yeah, it’s not.”

“But Walt certainly blames him. I can’t say I’m glad per se,” Harlan continued, looking at Marta now, “But it was certainly the least boring that damnable meeting has been in months. Mabye years!”

Ransom sniffed, “Harlan, did you—” he sniffed again, hard, and shot up straight. “Fuck, were you playing with the d-dogs?”

“Oh, yes the dogs were with us downstairs…”

“Dammit, you’re probably c-covered in… fuck I’m gonna sneeze… I… HHAAEEEEESSSHHH!! You’re probably covered in dog fur, oh geez that’s really gonna make me sneeze…”

“Ah, sorry, I can leave—”

“No point now. Shit.” Ransom was sitting up now, looking anxious. “I was hoping this wouldn’t happen til I left, or I could avoid the little bastards.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much, that antihistimine shot I gave you is pretty strong…”

“No, you don’t understand, it never works, it takes like two hours before it stops and that whole time it’s like… there’s not as much but when I do sneeze…”

“He’s likely to blow your ears out.” Harlan intervened.

“Maybe getting out of the house would help? I don’t know if your outdoor allergies are as severe…”

“What the fuck? What are you gonna do kick me out of the house for sneezing? It’s not even your house.” Ransom groused.

“That’s not what I meant at all—” Marta began, but she was stopped short by Ransom raising a hand.

“Ah fuck,” he said, and though his voice didn’t quaver, the sudden scrunch of his nose and the sharp breath he snatched in told Marta what he was going to say before he could. “Here it comes. I’m gonna sneeze, I mean really…” his voice started to shake then with the oncoming sneeze, “gonna fuuuhhcckin… sneeehheeze…” he said, breath curling in his voice as he launched into a wild, gasping buildup.

“Warning, Marta,” Harlan said, finally seeming to enjoy himself somewhat, if only because now at least he had a fellow-sufferer in Ransom’s allergic bombardments, “I’d listen if I were you: when he says he’s really gonna fucking sneeze, he’s *really* going to fucking sneeze.” Despite the chortle in Harlan’s voice, Marta decided to take his advice more seriously than his tone. She clearly didn’t want to be in the blast zone for this one.

“YEEEASSSSSHHHHHH!!!” the first sneeze was a wild, raucous thunderclap that sent Ransom diving double so hard that he nearly stumbled off the couch, catching himself to stand at the last moment before he fell, only to double back over with another roar: “AAARRRRSSCCHHH! hehhhh… HHEEEEASSSSHHHHHOOOooooo! eeeEEYYYAASSSHHHHHHHOOOooooo… HEEEIIISSHHH! EIIISSHH! ESSHHH! ESSSHH! ESHHH! ESSHHH! yyyyEESHHHH! ha… HHAA-EESSHHH! EIIISSHHH! AEEESSHH! AEESSHHHHuuuhhh! AEESSHHHhhuuhhh! hhh-hhAAAAAAEESSSHHHHHH-OOO! aaaaAAEEESSHHHH! huhhh… huhhh… h-holy ffuuuuuhhHHHHHHAAEEEESSSHHHHH! yyYYEESSHHHaaaaa… eeEEEYYYEEASHHHHhhhhhhaaa… YYAAAIIIISSSSHHHHHHH!! Goddammihhhhh… I st-still gotta… gottahhHHHEEEHHHH…” The sneezes veered between the splashy, desperate roars of the first few to tight, sharp, painful-sounding barks that surely must have scraped his throat coming out,. The barks were quieter, perhaps because he didn’t have time to get a full breath in before they tumbled out, on each others heels, practically blended together. And then when he had a second to take a breath in… well, Marta was glad she’d gotten the warning. She certainly had never heard such an expressive allergic reaction, Ransom’s sneezes seeming to communicate his frustration, anger, even rage. She couldn’t imagine he enjoyed being at the mercy of his allergies like this. Marta couldn’t imagine anyone enjoying that, including anyone within a hundred feet of the Thrombey house.

“Don’t try to talk Ransom, just sneeze it out.” Harlan offered, though the end of what he said was lost as the fit resumed with a sneeze that even Ransom seemed frightened of, if the look of utter, hangdog dread on his face as he wound up to the almighty release was any indication.

“HUHH-HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!” That one was pure, desperate scream, a gnarled, throaty sound that sounded as though it were ripped directly out of his broad chest. Marta could imagine that chest cartoonishly swollen with air, deflating as the sneeze went on, with a visible rush of air as he pushed the sneeze out. She half thought if there were any magazines or papers on the coffee table—he bent over so far his face nearly smacked it—he would have blown them off with the sheer power behind that sneeze. Of course that couldn’t be true, but if any sneeze could have such an impact, it would be one with the vigor and violence of Ransom’s.

Of course, even such a masterpiece of a sneeze, if such a thing could be said to exist, couldn’t be sufficient to purge the allergic demands made upon Ransom’s overloaded sinuses. He went into another round of those itchy, violent barks: “AASSHHH!! ESSHHH! HESHHH-EESHHH-ESHSHHH… huhhhh HESSHH! EEESHHH! YyyEESHHHH! YYAAASSSHHH-ASSHHH1-EEYYYYEESSHHHH!!” the sneezes ran together now, tumbling out one behind the other without so much as a breath or a pause… “hhhhAASSHHHOOOO! ehhhhhHHH… EEYYYYYYYAASSSSSHHHOOoooo! ASSSHHHOOO! AIIIISSHHH!! YIIIISSHHH! IISSHHHH! HIISSSHHHHHHUuuuuhhh!” The sneezes slid higher and higher in pitch, though they lost nothing in volume for that, if anything growing louder, great hollering screams, though after a moment it seemed the attack was finally starting to taper off, with long, drawn-out sneezes that seemed to take everything out of Ransom, so that Marta couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy. “hhhhhhhHHHHAASSHHHHHOOOoooo… AAASSSHHHHHHHHHHOOoooo… huhhhh… ohno… huhHHHHH… HHEEEAAASSSHHHHH-HHOOOOOO!! HUH! HUUURRRRRSCCHHOOOOoooo! URRRRSSSHHHHHOOOOOoooooo… f-fuuhhhh… fuckwhywon’tit… ihhhhhh… hiiiieeehhhh… iiieegghhhh… iiieeeeeEEAAAAAAYYYYYYAAAASSSHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! huuuuhhh… HHHHAAAADDDDSSDDDHHHUUUUHHH!! FUCK! HUUUHHhhh… HHHATTSSCCHHHHUuuuhh! HAAADDDDSSHHHUUuuhhh! AAAAAHHHHTTTSSSSHHHHUUUUHhhh… hhhaaDDDDIIISSSHHHHHOOOO!! GGGGGGIIISSSHHHHhhhooooo… ahhh… ahhhhhhh… AHHHHHHHH…. HHAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH… HAHT-CCCCHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSHH!!!”

Clealry she was wrong about his allergy sneezes being nearly as bad as his performance sneezes. When he really sneezed, they were worse.

Though that last one seemed a bit put on. Maybe it was the only way he knew to cap off a fit. Drama seemed to be in the guy’s blood after all. The way he collapsed back down onto the couch, spread out and panting, suggested much the same.

“Think you sneezed for seven minutes straight, kiddo. Might be a new personal best!” Harlan said cheerily, obviously trying to cheer his grandson up. He reached out to pat him on the shoulder, but Ransom roughly pushed him off, expression stormy.

“Fuck off old man. It’s your fault and those fucking dogs with their fucking hair all over the place, that’s why I’m… why…” his voice again, and Marta thought she saw in his eyes genuine fear that he’d start sneezing again. But luckily he purged the urge in a lusty, “hheEEEUUUURRRSSHHHHHHhhhoooo!”

“Fuck. I gotta get the fuck out of here before it fucking starts again.” He said, face red and puffy with allergies and anger alike. His movements sharp, his eyes darting angrily, he roughly grabbed his jacket and stalked off towards the stairs, muttering under his breath, “damned old man and his maid—” Then Harlan’s face grew stormy as well, and Marta was reminded he could match Ransom hot spark for spark. “Now you get back here Ransom and stop acting like a spoiled child. At the very least say thank you to Marta, my nurse, for—”

Ransom stood stock still in the doorway, then swayed side to side for a moment, as though rolling his eyes required his whole frame to sway with it, but then he didn’t move, didn’t speak for a second until again… his shoulders suddenly raised, he took a great breath in, and released: “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH-SSSHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAYY!!” Back to the big performance sneezes. Well, clealry Ransom had recovered sufficiently from his colossal allergy attack to respond to his family with sneezes instead of words again. He stalked off downstairs without another word.

Of course, they still heard him sneezing until he was out of the door, and beyond, AAAYYYYY-SHHOOOOOOO!s echoing up the stairs.

“Well,” Harlan said after a while, “thank you, Marta, for seeing to my grandson. He can…” he took a moment to choose his words, “he can be a bit sensitive about his allergies. Especially when he gets out of control like that.” Marta nodded, and Harlan beckoned her over to sit at the couch with him. “Still, I apologize for his rudeness. You helped him, he ought to show some gratitude.”

“HHHEEIIISHHOOOO!” It was faint still, but still audible as she heard the racket of his ostentatious sports car starting.

“It’s fine, Harlan.” Marta said.

“No, it’s not, but. Well, take my apologies for him.” Harlan smiled a bit. “In any case, perhaps a game of Go?”

“EEEEIIISSHHHOOOO!!” Perhaps Marta was deceiving herself that she’d heard that one over the sound of the engine as he drove off. Perhaps not.

“Of course, Harlan.” Marta said simply, and after the disruption of Ransom, they fell back into their routine, Harlan getting out the pieces for Go, Marta pulling supplies from her bag, the day continuing as usual.

[artificiary-fr]

ok so arti’s unnecessary opinion time

Just wanna give a disclaimer that these are just my sort of thoughts in general, and are in no way an attempt to demean, attack, or cause drama about any artist or staff member, or community member. Just kind of what I’ve observed and come to the questions/conclusions of. I got a little opinionated at the end but I tried not to single anyone out save for I think, one unnamed example? 

I’ll put everything under the cut here, because I know I have a tendency to get wordy (and spoiler: It did. This is a super long post, I’m sorry). So, here we go...

TL;DR: I like the gene, I’ll wait for the revamp before giving a concrete opinion, there were definitely some issues, I appreciate that staff took note/action, more communication like this or the dev streams is good (though communication between staff/community is a Thing unto itself of which I probably have a Disliked Take on and that was the really long part that isn’t necessary to read)

Okay before anything: the familiars. They’re super pretty! I like the recolors, and now I’m gonna have to grind the Kelp Beds for those boss fams. Dang. I love the kitty golem recolor.

With that out of the way, here we are - the subject of today’s discussions... Glowtail.

So, my first opinion: It’s not a bad gene! I can see some curious use for it, certainly. But there are some problems with it (and yes; I am aware staff has addressed this and pulled it to fix those problems! That’ll be more relevant later on here c: )

Note One: I think I do understand why it is a gem gene. Yes, design/thematically it does appear to fit the bill of a Baldwin Gene more. But I’d like to posit it’s the completion of a gem-gene set - Wasp/Bee/Glowtail. So in that regard, it makes sense!

Note Two: My personal opinion with the gene is that I like it, but it feels... hm. Plain isn’t correct. Like it’s missing something, I guess? I wish the segmenting was a little more prominent, and that the glow or gradient had a little more glitz/glamor, maybe some glitteries around the hips, to really sell it as a gem gene. I do like the glow we have on the other bits of dragon like light reflection, though, because it adds a little bit of dimension! All in all however even so, I do like it, and I won’t cement my opinion until we see what their updated version looks like in the future.

Note Three (The Problems): The art errors. What... what happened here?

As we’ve noticed, male snappers and male tundras are the two big offenders, with large chunks of color erroneously sitting outside the lineart quite noticeably. There is also part of the ‘glow’ (the aforementioned light reflection) that doesn’t make sense - being on parts of the dragon where it shouldn’t be, like on the front of wings where the tail is not in front of said limb, but behind.

But like... how did this not get caught before it got posted? Was it a time crunch, or it just... didn’t get quality checked before this happened? It’s really unfortunate. :c

Something I do with my art - and this is just my own process/thoughts - is when I’ve put down the base color, before I do any shading/highlights/big details, I pop a layer underneath the entire drawing and fill it with a high contrast color to the palette. That way any bits where I missed coloring in - or didn’t clean up outside the lines - becomes super noticeable, and I can fix it then instead of being a problem later. Maybe doing something like this before throwing the gene through the color automation process would’ve helped?

Last Note:

I feel like part of why these errors went unnoticed is because of how often, and sometimes how rushed, some of these updates have been - and this has been more noticeable in this year than otherwise. Is it because of community dissent with wanting more updates creating more crunch? Due to low-attention reticence creating a need for pushing more ad revenue / more “come to the site there’s new”?

I’m unsure, but it’s unfortunate nonetheless. I think staff, and FR as a whole, would benefit from like... hm. How to word this...

Maybe taking more time on updates / a more extended schedule so things aren’t as crunch (of course this being said, I don’t know what the workload is like so I can’t even say if crunch is applicable), and more open communication? Like how the dev streams were going - that was pretty well liked and everyone I know got pretty excited to see em and how the art was doing. It also opened up the avenue for more open communication / more nuanced opinions or thoughts.

---

But herein lies the huge issue, I think, with communication. This is the part where I’d like to reiterate, this is just my observations, and is not intended as an attack, a vaguepost, or deliberate callout at anybody. There’s no malicious intent here. This bit could also be construed as drama I suppose, and I apologize for that because again - not the intent. Just my take.

I’ve noticed posts going ‘no drama please’ or being tired when new updates come out of like, ‘oh boy here comes the negativity’ so I don’t think it’s just me who’s seen it, but have you guys noticed when anything new comes out, there’s an immediate rush of extreme salt and negativity?

And I don’t mean posts where its like “it’s not for me” or “I don’t like it but here’s [detailed/explained reason why]” - those are the nuanced opinions I mean. Those are fine. I mean the ones where people in forums, or on the more prolific drama blogs, are just.... mean/empty? Like “FUCK staff I hate how lazy they are with this it’s shitty looking” - that really vocal generally super salty in general minority of the community. Just hate without explanation, or just kind of aimless generalized attack/complaint.

I think that’s where communication with Staff fell off the bandwagon. The really loud, really vocal minority of folks who throw super salt or yell “This Sucks You Suck” completely overshadow the people who are well intentioned with sharing their opinions or problems/criticisms. The toxic bits and really vitriolic words are what gets seen and noticed. I think this is the majority of what gets heard, which is why communication got so closed off / shut down unless positive, in recent times. Do I agree with that? No, I don’t either - but I’m just looking at this from the outside. Idk how staff feels or thinks.

And this goes for both people who don’t like the content, and people that do.

Remember that the Keel thread got locked because someone who was white-knighting started getting real nasty with people in the thread, and going to extremes insulting artists who did mock-ups to help visualize their thoughts/opinions and was just being a real douche?

What I really wish was that we could have more open communication. Some of the things I really liked to see were like: Dev Streams, Community Updates/Q&A, Opinion Polls, That Update Progress on Breed/Gene Progress from a while back. All of that was excellent. And I like to see the community responding in well thought out ways! I like to see staff more hands on too! We’re only human and love this site and our dragons and want to see it at it’s best - but they’re also only human, and make mistakes, and we don’t know what’s goin on in there, just out here.

Trello is a really good way to kind of show that communication, and is transparent, but isn’t free-to-use for businesses, so... of course I also don’t know how Stormlight Workshop runs their business/hours so I’m just blowing hot smoke. But anyway, I think everyone would benefit from slowing down and opening up. If things are going slow, that’s okay - if Staff opens up to the community and says “This is taking longer than expected, but here’s upcoming releases / current in-progresses” I think we’d be like oh okay things are happening and it’ll be nice! As compared to everyone gets super antsy, nothing’s happening, no-one is talking... and then we get hit with a bunch of updates, some of which, like today’s, have... issues.

Of course then I worry that with more open talking or “we’re experiencing delays” the more vitriolic will get even angrier/saltier which doesn’t... help... but I mean... yeah. 

ANYWAY so I’ve written a full dissertation essay here without really intending to (see? I warned y’all! I ramble/don’t shut up ahahaha) so I’m gonna just stop myself here before I start going in circles. This last chunk I don’t really know what the meat of what I was trying to say was, now, I think. Sorry about that. It was just “here’s my stream of consciousness” apparently ^^;;;;

Have a good evening y’all! Thanks for listenin’ to my (rant?) if y’all made it this far. You’re appreciated and thank you for letting me bend your ears! Stay safe in this crazy world, hang in there, and have a good one!

[machihunnicutt]

What the Downton Movie Owes Me (but will probably not give me): Some Thoughts on Thomas Barrow

yes...I wrote 1k+ words on this. I’m so sorry.

I’m watching Downton Abbey for the 3rd (4th?) time with my sister who hasn’t seen it. I love this glorified soap opera to death, y’all, with the full acknowledgment that this show does a horrible job with a lot of its plot lines designed to tackle complicated issues: disability (the ableism against Bates via the house that he never gets apologies for, Matthew and his spinal injury/wheelchair that is always framed as life-ending and making him nothing but a “burden”), class (the Branson/Sybil marriage is alright, but there are countless missed opportunities to interrogate the relationship between upstairs and downstairs, particularly Carson’s attachment to a family that monopolizes his life and the lives of all its employees), (I’m going to leave race and gender alone because I think it does a pretty decent job when these issues come into play but feel free to lmk if there’s something I missed!), and sexuality, which is what I want to get into.

So granted, I understand that I’m not the target audience for this show. I understand that Downton’s gay characters were not written primarily to be relatable, multifaceted representations of gay people in a period drama. I get that Downton’s target audience is older, straight people for which representation isn’t super important. But, I have watched this show at least 3 times now and I’m still angry about its treatment of Thomas Barrow, so I’m going to break down why:

1) Things We Know About Thomas Barrow

I really like early seasons of Downton because, for all its drawn out drama and plot twists, it cares a lot about character development and consistency. Many characters (dare I say the majority) do mean and bad things and yet, we are still empathetic because we’ve spent time with them, understand why they make the choices they do, and see them learn from their mistakes (early seasons Mary is an excellent example.)

Thomas Barrow is my favorite Downton character because of the great narrative work they do in this regard. In the first episode we learn several character traits of his that continue to be important throughout his arcs:

- He doesn’t trust easily and has few friends in the house. (AKA, boy’s got a bad attitude. It’s better to act like you hate everyone than give them the chance to reject you.) I found this immediately endearing (because of who I am I guess lol), and though I understand why people don’t like his character because of this, I think it’s a good move for a character you intend to have grow over a long period of time. Opening up, accepting help from others, and showing kindness are all parts of Thomas’ future storylines, actions that show his slow growth from this facet of his character. I also think it’s important to note that when Thomas does make friends he is loyal to them (I’m excepting O’Brien from this category given there’s so much backstabbing between them that it’s a stretch to call them friends) and will take risks to protect them (Examples: befriending Lt. Courtenay and later fighting Dr. Clarkson to keep him at the hospital; befriending Lady Sybil and speaking kindly about her when he doesn’t have nice things to say about anyone else upstairs, later earnestly mourning her death in a show of vulnerability he generally masks; befriending Jimmy and looking out for him when he gets drunk at the fair, going as far to get beaten up to save Jimmy; befriending Andy and helping him learn to read; befriending the kids of the house and saving them from that one nasty nanny who was mistreating them.)

- He’s a romantic. The man wants to be loved and jfc I wish the show gave him a good love interest.

- He’s easily manipulated. (More on this later, but for now...) The Duke plays him, and it’s cruel, but it shows how easily Thomas can be tricked when he’s offered affection and the chance to leave Downton for something better. (Also note: from day one, he’s wanted to leave Downton!)

- He’s the evil gay trope. The gay villain trope has a long and complicated history and sure, you can say Thomas’s sexuality and role as an antagonist aren’t connected, but the show doesn’t exist in a vacuum and it feeds into a long history of villainizing LGBT and LGBT coded characters. The thing I hate most is that they get really close to subverting it in Thomas’ best moments (his work in the hospital during the war, his relationship with the kids, his gradual opening up to people in the house) but alas...

2) Why I Hate The Jimmy Kent Arc More Than Anything

Okay, so it makes sense for Thomas to be manipulated by O’Brien. That’s consistent with his character and I don’t fault the show for melodrama because that’s what it does. What I hate, is that the show depicts Thomas’ attraction to Jimmy as predatory and when he is punished for trying to kiss Jimmy while he’s asleep (which is assault) the house (and I’d argue, the show) frames this as bad only because Thomas is gay and Jimmy is not. In the show’s narrative Jimmy is mad because he’s homophobic, not because he’s been violated. And his and Jimmy’s ensuing friendship would be genuinely sweet if it really was just an issue of homophobia and not one of ASSAULT!

I’d argue, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t portray Thomas as predatory and then brush it aside to make a statement about tolerance, because assaulting people is bad regardless of the sexuality of the perpetrator. You either need to punish his actions for what they are or get better at story telling and not rely on the predatory gay stereotype.

But, secondarily, I’m bothered by this arc because it doesn’t seem in character, to me. I know Thomas does a lot of bad, stupid things, but I don’t think it makes sense for him to be predatory. In his best moments he is protective, romantic, and loyal. Yes, we see him as rash and naive, but his actions never felt right for the character, to me. I just think it’s lazy writing to handle his attraction to Jimmy this way, especially given the development of their friendship afterward. It would’ve been so much more satisfying and narratively interesting for Thomas to express his feelings for Jimmy in a respectful way. Jimmy is the only character we see Thomas have genuine feelings for (not motivated by upward mobility as in the case of the Duke or I guess(?) racial stereotyping in the case of Kemal Pamuk...but lbr his pass at him was mostly a plot device) and I think the arc would’ve been so much more fulfilling if we saw it as Thomas’ attempt to love someone fully and honestly, even if it ultimately doesn’t work out the way he wants it to. And I don’t get why they didn’t do this! Because the Jimmy/Thomas friendship ends up being sweet, and useful for each character’s development. They just had to make it gross by beginning with an assault. Just a huge, lazy, waste of a potentially good idea.

3) The Last Season Was Bad For A Lot Of Characters But They Did Thomas Extremely Dirty

I don’t know where to start with the last season because I think they ran into so many problems because they forgot how to use great characters effectively (Mary is a prime example!!) and started just throwing them into dramatic situations for the sake of plot and not keeping actions consistent with established character.

For example, life at Downton is the roughest it has ever been for Thomas in season 6, to the point where he is alienated by most in the house (I’m not going to talk about how badly Carson treats him and how much of a tyrant Carson is in the last season because again, I think it comes down to the writers forgetting how to use their characters effectively) and attempts suicide. All in all, I just don’t like this because it’s predictable and overdone. Gay people in period pieces almost always have overwhelmingly tragic stories and it’s not fun for me to watch anymore. What most disappoints me though, is that when everyone else is getting paired off in the fan-servicey ending, Thomas’ consolation prize is being the butler??? To a house full of people who’ve hated him??? He’s wanted from the beginning to leave Downton and in the end he doesn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, if the show had shown me his change in attitude and relationship to the house, given me this character development in meaningful ways, and not used a suicide attempt as a half-assed catalyst for change, I would be all for Thomas as Downton’s butler. I think that if they’d done the work of making it a believable and constructive next step for his character, that I’d really like it. I think Thomas’ relationship with the kids (particularly George! I’d watch a whole movie about that!) is well done and I think it echos Carson’s relationship with Mary, but better. But you! have! to! do! the! work! to! get! the! audience! there! You can’t give me a whole season of Downton nastiness and Thomas suffering and then expect me to buy that this is his happy ending.

4) What I Want From This Movie

I don’t think I’ll get it (though a love interest for Thomas via the trailer is encouraging), but here’s what I want:

- Show me why Thomas Barrow as Downton butler makes sense. And if you can’t, let him leave and be happy somewhere else because he deserves it.

- Show me how he’s grown. Show me his relationship with the kids and how he’s better than Carson because I need it!!

- Let Thomas be in a relationship that is healthy and not manipulative or coercive or a plot device for drama.

- Let him be in love and don’t make it a sad story. Please.

I find Thomas Barrow such a compelling character because he isn’t perfect. He makes mistakes. He does bad things. He grows. He changes over the course of six seasons. He’s a gay character in a period drama whose story isn’t about being ashamed of who he is. It isn’t about denial or apologies or pretending he’s someone he isn’t. And I think that’s significant. I just wish they’d done a slightly better job. :)

(Thanks for reading. I’m gonna keep being a Thomas Barrow stan even when no one watching with me thinks I’m valid lol.)

[reluctantfangirl95]

Why I started watching The 100 again and my response to some of the current drama surrounding the show (not the cast’s personal lives)

Note: I feel like this post is either going to be very poorly received or more likely ignored. However, if someone does happen to read this and they disagree, please, for lack of a better term, be kind. Hurling abuse at others on the internet is really not constructive.

The bits written in bold represent how I feel, they are not a pointed attack on anyone else.

With that out of the way...

*I recently started watching The 100 after stopping at the end season 3. In the interest of being completely transparent, before the social media uproar after Lexa’s death, I had never watched an episode of the show. However when I saw the way people loved and mourned her character, I knew I had see what the fuss was about. I considered just watching her episodes, but one of my housemates and another good friend at the time convinced me that the whole show was worth the watch. They were right. In many ways, I feel like I am an ideal TV viewer. I’m extremely empathetic (sometimes to a problematic degree) and nearest I can tell, I always react to what I’m watching the way the writer intended (the first time I watch something anyway). As a writer myself with a television studies background, this is often incredibly annoying. But when it came to watching the episode with Lexa’s death, armed with knowledge of what was to come, I know was a lot better off than many other viewers. Don’t get me wrong, I cried a ridiculous amount watching that episode. But I had already read Jason’s apology by that point and although I was not in any shape or form ok with what happened, I could see why the writer’s made the decision that they did at the time. When it came down to it, I was angry, but not for me. I was in a mentally healthy enough place and had enough support that I knew that my worth as a person was not dictated by what I saw on my TV / computer screen. I wasn’t angry for me, but for all the viewers, especially younger viewers, who weren’t so lucky. Before February 2016, I was not consciously aware of the Bury Your Gays trope and how harmful it was. However , like so many others, I had been in a bad place, and whatever I was watching at the time, had helped. Seeing the outpouring of pain and grief, I could easily empathise with how vulnerable this betrayal must have made people feel.

However , it’s been over 3 years since then. I don’t begrudge those who chose to stop watching after what happened, but I’ve also done a lot of thinking, I reached the conclusion that although Lexa’s demise was wrong in so many ways, those who made the decision have admitted fault, no matter how unsatisfactory many found those apologies. The bottom line, for me, is I like the show, irrespective of the bad decisions they made. Before Lexa’s death, they had such positive LGBTQ representation, and with time, I’ve come to realise, that for me, what happened doesn’t completely erase that. Again, I completely respect and support those who don’t feel the same way I do. Also, from what I understand, both through following the cast on social media and what has been said by people who’ve met them, they’re pretty awesome people too, so by watching, I’m also happy to be supporting them.

In regards to including Lexa’s image in Clarke’s mind prison in 6x07, I really don’t think it’s the big queer baiting deal that some people are making it out to be. They have continued to establish throughout the last few seasons, how much Clarke loves/ loved Lexa. It would be weird and wrong if she wasn’t there. Also, as upset as they may be, the person/ people calling out @danapiccoli and others who have worked so tirelessly for better representation, for their ‘silence’ on the matter, need to STOP !!!

As for featuring Lexa’s image along with Bellamy’s in the trailer, I tend to side with those who are pointing out the parallels being drawn to set up the change in the relationship between Clarke and Bellamy. Again, I can imagine a lot of fans will be unhappy with this. Until I started watching the show again, I was one of them. Don’t get me wrong, the constant fulfilment of the expectation that the male and female lead will end together is predictable and annoying across the board, but in this case, the actors clearly have great chemistry, and ignoring that, in my opinion, is a even bigger sin. These days I tend to want my favourite characters to end up in a relationship that makes them happy. For Clarke, I’ve come to accept and even like that that person looks like it will be Bellamy.

Lastly, I see the continued reminder of Clarke’s relationship and love for Lexa is a reminder of her bisexuality, not queer baiting. Her ending up with Bellamy does not erase that. As in real life, she’s still bi, no matter the gender of her partner. These days I find myself borderline angry with people who complain about these reminders, because as much as they like to complain about the shows poor representation, (again, in relation to Lexa’s Death, they’re not wrong) to me it feels like they are the ones trying to erase her bisexuality.

*Turns out, I chose a really terrible (or great, depending on your perspective) time to start watching the show again. All of this fan created drama and invasion of the casts privacy has only served to remind why I try not to engage to much with this fandom, despite the fact that I chose to write this peace that practically invites attack. I know the majority of people who are part of it, are really nice people, but a very vocal and not small number of supposed fans take my breath away with their behaviour.

[completeoveranalysis]

TRC Translation notes Volume 18 (Chapters 133 - 140)

Even more incredible translation notes from the wonderful @giniroangou? I got you covered!

Highlights include: acid punk chapter cover mysteries finally solved, soul/body separation foreshadowing, oaths!, Lantis and co. actually becoming competent, character motivations making sense, intentional ambiguities, fun chess vibes, and Sakura’s heart breaking in slow motion.

Chapter 133

Cover page - Per the art book commentary, the panels in this picture were intended to be things the characters either threw away or decided they no longer want.

p.8 - The word “kokoro” comes back here, this time translated as “mind.” The description of Sakura’s body as a “vessel” is from the original text. There’s definitely been a theme of the mind/heart/soul being a separate (though not necessarily unconnected) entity from the body running through both the plotline and the language the characters use.

p.10 - As in previous scenes, the original text preserves the distinction between the two Syaorans by only placing Lava Lamp’s name in quotation marks.

p.14-15 - There were no exclamation points in these lines originally, which I feel implies more of a defeated tone.

p.19 - Yuuko’s line here isn’t necessarily about creation, though it could be interpreted that way. In the original text it’s, “For the sake of two futures.”

p.20 - Yuuko says that it is both the price Lava Lamp and the others paid, as well as their hearts (“kokoro” again) that will ensure Watanuki doesn’t vanish.

p.24 - The wording in the translation was a little confusing, but I think the concept got across. Just in case, Yuuko explains here that worlds are able to endure precisely because everything maintains a balance. If a world loses that balance, it will fall apart.

Chapter 134

p.35 - Sakura’s lines have been mistranslated here. She’s asking if Fai is hiding what he really wants to do because she said she was going to go. Essentially she’s worried that Fai is prioritizing her desires over his own, that he would have made a different choice without her influence.

p.36 - The original nuance is a little different in a couple of Fai’s lines. He says to Sakura, “I’m a wizard who can’t even heal your wounds, but will you allow me to stay with you?” As a side note: the English “wizard” is the actual word Fai uses to refer to himself - it’s written in katakana as the reading above the kanji for “majutsushi”/“mage.” (I feel like this has come up before, but… it’s been a while.)

p.37 - Just to clarify how this line appears in Japanese, “My only Princess” is written in kanji in a much more formal manner than Fai would normally use (我が唯一の姫君) with the reading above in katakana as “Vi la princia” (ヴイ・ラ・プリンシア). Additionally, the entire phrase is in quotation marks, enhancing the impression that it is an established oath of some sort.

p.38 - Kurogane could be referring to one thing or to multiple things that have changed - the word in Japanese is non-specific.

p.39 - I’m not sure why there’s a “But” in front of Kurogane’s line in this translation, since this follows directly off of his line from the previous page. It should be more along the lines of, “I guess it’s okay to make more than one promise.”

Chapter 135

p.51 - Sakura’s thank you feels super extreme in the official translation, but originally all she said here was, “Thank you.”

p.53 - The promise Fuuma mentions is presented in contrast/in addition to the jobs he does for Yuuko - after describing his payment process to her he says, “Well, I made another promise too, though.”

I interpreted Fuuma’s last line here not as a reference to the needs of the group, but to the fact that they’re probably going to have a hard time getting Sakura’s feather back from Seishirou.

p.62 - Yuuko says she’s going to purify the egg before she passes it on.

p.65 - Yuuko isn’t talking about a single unchanging feeling here, but saying that people’s true feelings cannot be changed.

Chapter 136

p.74-76 - Fun fact: The “READY…. GO!!” on these pages was originally written in English.

p.79 - Eagle remarks that BOTH Sakura and her pieces are incredible. The word for piece is written with the kanji used for shougi and chess pieces and the like (駒) but the reading is given in katakana as the English word “piece” (ピース).

p.81 - The point Geo’s making here should be that all three “pieces” DON’T seem to be amateurs.

p.82 - After pointing out Fai’s defensive technique, I’m fairly certain Lantis is saying that it seems unlikely Fai has always fought in that style.

P.84 - Lantis doesn’t describe them as “useful,” but as “masters” (of fighting).

Chapter 137

p.97 - The translation covers this up a bit, but Fai’s first line here is expositional - he’s just saying that they know there’s a feather in this world, not really asking about it. He is also still referring to Syaoran as “Syaoran-kun,” they just missed the honorific in the English version.

p.110 - I just want to drop another quick reminder here about Lava Lamp’s speech style, because the translation doesn’t do it justice at all. What’s been translated as “You too. Please get some sleep yourself,” was not actually a polite request. Lava Lamp refers to Kurogane directly as “you” (“anata”) and ends his sentence in a casual imperative (“yasundekure”). Despite the father/son vibe in the preceding scene, he speaks to Kurogane as an equal.

p.111 - Once again, there are quotation marks around Kurogane’s name when Fai says it, so it’s even more in-your-face in the Japanese version than the italics of the official translation.

Chapter 138

p.115 - Fai’s line is a bit less clear-cut in the original text. This is another case where there are no pronouns used, so from the line itself you can’t tell whether he’s speaking for himself alone or not and you also can’t tell whether he’s vowing to keep the whole group from getting hurt vs, say, just Sakura. However you choose to take this line is up to the context of the scene and how you view Fai as a character in this moment.

p.116 - Clow doesn’t ask if Sakura is looking at the ruins - she offers that information herself.

p.117 - Sakura’s description of the ruins is a little different in her original line - she says that there may be precious items from the country’s past buried there. (The word she uses for what might be buried is “mono,” which could be either singular or plural, but plural seems the most logical in this situation.)

p.118 - The word that’s been translated as “that special someone” is “daisuki na hito” in Japanese, which can mean, “The person you love,” but also alternatively, “Someone you love.” It doesn’t necessarily imply a romantic partner.

p.121 - A couple little tweaks here: The word “eye” has quotation marks around it in the original text. It could potentially be plural or singular, but given the context and the quotes singular seems more appropriate. Clow doesn’t specifically say anything about a message, just an inability to reach (so this could refer to a message, but also to feelings, to someone reaching out for something, etc.) He speaks only of a desire to protect, rather than a need or the actual act occurring: “But even so, you want to protect (insert missing pronoun here).” Basically, Japanese is the ideal language for a scene like this, because its ambiguity gives many of these lines a versatility they don’t have in English and allows them to apply to multiple situations at once, as you discussed in your liveblog.

p.123 - Again, the implication that protection is an obligation wasn’t in the original text. Lava Lamp is stating what it is he’d decided: To protect no matter what.

p.124 - Another punctuation tonal shift here: instead of “Sakura!” this was originally “.... Sakura.”

p.127 - Fai’s original line is a bit less flippant than the translated version, just, “Those look like they’d be painful if you hit them.”

Chapter 139

p.141 - “Becoming lost” is one way to translate this line, but it might be more natural to say that Sakura is hesitating or wavering.

Chapter 140

p.161 - Just for fun: the original text on this page is kind of wild aesthetically. “Checkmate” is written in katakana, what’s been translated as “black team” is just the word “black” written in kanji with katakana above it giving the reading as “black” in English, and then “WIN!” entirely in English.

p.162 - Fai’s lines on this page are spoken with more certainty - he’s not supposing, just stating facts. He describes Lava Lamp’s experiences as, “He’s lived through the same days as Syaoran-kun.”

p.169 - Significantly (maybe?) there shouldn’t be any quotation marks when Mokona says “Syaoran” here. It feels less alienating this way.

p.170 - Kurogane actually asks if Mokona is planning to drink the whole thing, bottle and all. I-is she trying to send it to Yuuko?

p.171 - Sakura’s line here isn’t, “I know!” but “.... I know.” (Once again, I’m not mentioning nearly all of these punctuation differences, but when they seem to drastically change the tone I can’t help pointing them out.)

p.172 - A couple of Sakura’s lines were changed in the translation. She originally says that even if Lava Lamp served as Syaoran’s basis, she knows that “just like those we’ve met in various worlds up until now, his appearance is the same but he’s a different person.”

p.173-174 - Since this was apparently confusing (and partially mistranslated) Sakura says here that each time she sees similarities between Lava Lamp and Syaoran (and there are many) she can’t handle it. Each time she notices these things she can’t help lamenting that the person in front of her isn’t her Syaoran.

[jadekitty777]

Are you waiting to be asked about Team STRQ? I'll bite. Team STRQ for the character ask meme.

You know it! Although I’mhaving a lot of fun with all of them.

Unsurprisingly doing four of my top favorites all at oncegot long, so I’m putting it under a read more.

Taiyang Xiao Long(YEAH BABY THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!)

·        Favorite thingabout them: Everything. Alright,alright – anyone who has spent five seconds with me knows he’s my ultimatefavorite, I’ll try not to be TOO biased. I think what I like the most about Taiis that, while he has a bit of a fiery nature to him, overall, he seems like sucha gentle soul. He’s not afraid to be a little cheesy when it comes to praisinghis girls. He loves doting on them if the opportunity arrives (breakfast in bedfor Ruby, anyone?). He’s also not afraid to push them, yet still tries to be kindin his methods.

·        Least favoritething about them: To be honest, while it’s absolutely understandable and realisticto how many parents do act in these situations, I wish Tai had been moreforthcoming about Raven when it came to talking to Yang about her (granted ifhe was, it would certainly lessen the impact of Yang’s own character arc, but Idigress). Keeping her completely in the dark is part of what leads his eldestinto her obsession with knowing more.

When the conversation finallydoes happen, I do like that Tai does his best to not badmouth Raven, which willallow for Yang to make her own decisions on what she thinks of Raven as aperson when she ultimately finds her – as he knows she will.

·        Favorite line: Oooh Taiyang’skind of a walking Chinese proverb, so it’s a little hard to pick. I’m going togo with: “You’re right, it’s not coming back… but that doesn’t have to stop youfrom becoming who you want to be.” The message basically comes down to ‘don’tlet it be you who holds yourself back’. I’m sure all of us have faced being ourown worst enemies at times, wherein we never even try because we’re too focusedon saying “I can’t”.

Honorable shout-out to RWBY chibiand “I make a home for this family, that’s what I do all day! And it wouldn’tkill you to show a little APPRECIATION”.

·        brOTP: No one gasps insurprise when I tell you it is Qrow. When it comes to actual canon, I like tothink these two are best friends that are as close as brothers in everythingexcept blood. They’ll always be there for each other when the worst of timeshits (Emotion-numbing depression vs. Blackout Binge Drinking).

…They’ll also pants one anotherin the middle of broad daylight for a cheap laugh (Cargo shorts really are easyto get down. One of these days, Tai might just go commando just so he cantraumatize Qrow once and for all).

…And argue over stupid shit likewhose turn it was to do the dishes (Hint: It’s always Qrow’s turn).

…And do irritating shit justbecause they know it annoys the other (Qrow has a really obnoxious singingvoice, so he makes sure to sing EXTRA loud when he knows Tai’s trying to gradepapers).

And yes, Qrow is absolutely theyounger brother.

-On a smaller, but no lessimportant note, I absolutely believe Taiyang had close friendships with Summerand Raven as well.

·        OTP: As with all myfavorites, I will multi-ship the hell out of Tai, especially any that can fallunder the friends-to-lovers requirement.

Absolute top OTP will always beTaiqrow (A true shocker, I’m sure). The biggest drive I have for these two hasalways been the amount of emotional support available between them. There’s somuch potential simply on the lengths Qrow may have had to go through helpingout at the house after Summer’s passing or Tai’s rigorous efforts to try andpull Qrow away from his drinking habits. They’re also just… really sexytogether. Like hot damn.

I do remain rather fond of bothof Tai’s canon ships too though. Oh yeah and I will also polyship the hell outof Tai and you will have to tear STR-Crossed out of my cold, dead hands.

I’m also happy to throw him inthe ring with James and really enjoyed my little writing session withJames/Qrow/Tai.

·        nOTP: Other thananything that puts him with one of his children, nothing that tends to botherme too much? Even Ozpin/Taiyang, while a little out of nowhere, is still prettysexy to read.

·        Randomheadcanon: *Holds up 20* Which one do you want?

-Contrary topopular belief, it’s actually Tai thatRuby and Yang get their daredevil behavior from. Though he’s mellowed out overthe years and as he’s gained wisdom, when he was the girls’ age he could bejust as reckless. Many times, that had gotten him into trouble and, not wantingthe girls to make the same mistakes, tries to ward them from the same flaw hehimself had. (He’s secretly a little proud about it too).

-The sunflowers are either torepresent Summer Rose or they were originally tended to by her and Taicontinues caring for them to keep the memory of her alive. He always cuts freshflowers for the girls whenever they’re sick or hurt, so that their mother canwatch over them.

-Taiyang is either estranged fromhis family or lost it at a young age. He spent most of his childhood inisolation or feeling like he didn’t belong anywhere. When he became apart ofteam STRQ, he finally felt like he’d found a new family and it was one he neverwanted to give up – that was why losing Raven and Summer eventually crushed himand led to his mental breakdown.

-True to his name, Tai fucking loves dragons and if he ever gets luckyenough to see the Gods’ true forms, he’s going to flip out.

·        Unpopularopinion: So maybe it’s just the generation I grew up in, but the ‘joke’Tai gives Yang about her arm? Yeahthat one didn’t even hit on my Richter scale as bad. These kinds of ‘off-color’jokes were pretty common place when I was a kid. I think it goes back to what Isaid about the Sun and ‘stalking’ thing. Intent is extremely important, and Taimeant nothing by it… except to make his daughter laugh.

Could it have backfired? Oh yeah,and he would have probably tripped over himself to apologize. But that wasn’twhat happened – nor was it what the writers’ intended to make that happen.  Otherwise, they would have led Yang’sresponse in another direction or gave the animation team a specific expressioncue to work in.

·        Song Iassociate with them: Going to continue picking random songs, because this isdefinitely not my strong suit. I probably went through all my playlists, but I’mgoing with Chris Daughtry’s “It’s Not Over”. If you read the verses as stages ofTai’s life with those important in it, it lines up fairly perfectly.

-The first twoversus are for Raven and their failed love (“You’ve taken away everything/And Ican’t do without, I try to see the good in life… This love is killing me”)

-Then the next two verses are forSummer and the loss of her (“I cannot wait/We’re wasting too much time… My lifewith you means everything/So I won’t give up that easily”)

-Finally the last verses are forQrow’s losing battle against his alcoholism and depression (“We can’t let thisget away/Let it out/Don’t get caught up in yourself”) and Tai’s own resolve to getback up and start again for his girls (“It’s not over, let’s start over!”)

·        Favoritepicture of them:

Never been so attracted to a picturebefore.

Summer Rose

(Our dearestflower, born white and bled red in her final hour)

·        Favorite thingabout them: For now, simply that it’s implied she was both a kickasshuntress and an incredible mom. Now, if only we could SEE that in action.

·        Least favoritething about them: Well. Being dead’s kind of a drag,ain’t it? I feel my least favorite thing about her is the same thing we’re allkind of feeling at this point – that we know virtually nothing about her.  I washoping she’d be brought up when the whole ‘Silver-eyed’ thing got addressed –BUT NO. I’M STILL STARVING RT, GIVE ME SOME CONTENT PLEASE.

·        Favorite line: *Saves thisspace for when we get any*

·        brOTP: I particularlyenjoy the dynamic Summer and Raven may have had. Like Qrow and Tai, I often seethe girls growing close during their years at Beacon, the two eventuallydeveloping a mutual respect for one another that turns into friendship. Theyboth start to realize just how much they care about each other when Raveninadvertently makes a portal to Summer to save her life. Summer is secretlyhappy whenever she manages to get Raven to confide secrets to her – one ofwhich was her growing feelings for Taiyang.

·        OTP: Speaking of Tai,of course I rather enjoy that Summer and he had fallen in love. Just like with Taiqrow,the emotional support factor really drives this one in deep for me. I know thisone gets a lot of flack as a ‘rebound’ on Tai’s part (And equally should getflack on Summer for being a ‘Hero’s complex’, since she’s literally swooping into ‘fix’ what Raven broke), but I personally feel like their love was genuine, simplybecause of how significant an impact losing her had on Taiyang. Just because ithappened quickly after one loss does not immediately discredit it from beingtrue and powerful.

·        nOTP: Absolutely herand Qrow. And yes, I know someone is going to call me out for this one because ‘I’vewritten it before’ – AND YES, I KNOW. It’s not that I don’t see the potential inthe ship because I absolutely do. It’s that I’ve come across it just one timetoo many that to put them together, it’s often done at the expense of villainizingTai, Raven, or both, which has soured my ability to enjoy it – one person inparticular does this so well that seeing her work actually turns my stomach. Ialso really think it weakens in-canon Qrow as a character, since I can’t fathomhim lying about being Ruby’s dad and most arguments that try to explain why hewould feel flimsy at best. Also, just, this: “Don’t lie to him Ruby, we’rebetter than that.”

(I will however accept PolyQrow/Summer/Tai in which neither of them know who impregnated Summer and Qrowjust goes by uncle because it was easier for the kids to understand).

·        Randomheadcanon: -Summer Rose was first attempted to be killed by then lateractually killed by Marcus Black. The first encounter I see happening sometimein her school years, in which on a mission he comes after her. Taiyang has tointervene, maybe at the cost of his own semblance, and eventually they’re both savedby Raven and Qrow who portal to them just before either are killed. In thesecond, Summer is alone and is being hunted down both by Marcus and his wife.Though she calls Qrow for back-up, he never gets there in time. In the last fewminutes, she manages to kill Marcus’ wife, but is in turn killed by him. I particularlylike this because this would make Qrow and Marcus foils, both who startdrinking heavily from loss but have different responses to those around them.

-HAVE I EVERTOLD Y’ALL ABOUT MY EVIL SUMMER IDEA? I have said it once and I will say it again:black magic and curses are criminally unused in this fairytale inspired show.The idea that Summer was ‘brought back to life’ by Salem to use for her ownpurposes is deliciously fun – or, seeing as we don’t know what it can do yet,being brought back by the relic of creation. In ether scenario, it brings backthe body but not the heart. Her reveal would be devastating to _TRQ, especiallyif they are forced to fight her. If they did I see the scenario going inmultiple directions –

A. In a team fight: Either theyare all killed by her or they kill her

B. In single fights:

+Raven is killed by Summer or theykill each other. I see Summer giving out a lot of passive-aggressive quips overRaven running off and maybe even goads her about her powers and her fears.

+For Qrow, I never see him dyingto her in a one-on-one fight. Getting heavily injured, yes, but never dying. Ido see them being fairly evenly matched, actually. And maybe even Summergetting super offended if he uses his scythe on her.

+Tai fights her, but spends themajority of the battle on the defensive, trying to remind her of who she reallyis. Just as he’s got her hesitating, another villain either injures him orstrikes him down.

That’s not even touching on whatit would mean for Ruby and Yang to encounter her.

·        Unpopularopinion: While I do think she probablyhad a habit of being socially withdrawn, I really don’t see Summer as painfullyshy-mannered as some of the fandom portray her as – at least not to a debilitatingextent. I don’t think it’s a bad character trait for her, per say, and it worksin some contexts especially when it’s balanced well. It’s just hard to see hermanaging to survive as team leader with such a submissive personality traitwithout the twins or Tai completely eclipsing her.

·        Song Iassociate with them: Mostly because I once envisioned an entire fight scene leadingto her death to this song, I’m going to go with “Heroes” by Zayde Wolf.Surprisingly though, it fits fairly well. Being a ‘hero in the darkest of times’really does exemplify what a huntress is and what Summer herself is meant torepresent.

·        Favoritepicture of them: *Saves this space because she stubbornly refuses to put up theteam STRQ photo we’ve all seen ten thousand times*

Raven Branwen

(The sexiestpsychobitch you ever will meet)

·        Favorite thingabout them: Her character potential. With the end of volume 5, it feels likeshe’s been left at a crossroads, in which she can choose to continue to lookout for herself like the coward she’s been, or choose to attempt to redeemherself when her daughter gets into trouble again. The fact that we haven’t quiteseen the result of her visit to Tai (or if it ended up being a visit at all)tells me the team is holding back on that decision for now; but, I have absolutelyno doubts that we will be seeing her again.

·        Least favoritething about them: Can anyone say manipulative bitch bordering on total sociopath? Thatfirst conversation Raven has with Yang made me jerk back a bit and go ‘Whoa,crazy alert’. It’s definitely a trait that is um… a little hard to like. It hasmassive amounts of writing potential though.

·        Favorite line: “Two childrenyou’ve tricked into following you, a disgraced Atleasian scientist, and a FallMaiden with a surname so appropriate, she probably picked it herself. Thatabout right?” Vol 5. Chapter 9 gets a lot of flack for not being veryinteresting, but I could not get enough of Raven’s snark throughout theconversation.

·        brOTP: How about withher literal brother? I’m a total sucker for inseparable twins and I’ve alwaysliked the idea that, growing up, the two of them were extremely close. Raven’sa teeter-totter of opposites for me, so I can also see that relationship goingin the exact other direction – BUT FOR NOW…

·        OTP: Speaking of teeter-totters,how about that relationship with Tai, huh? Was it toxic as hell or did they trulylove each other and just had an awful falling out, wherein the bitterness wouldsettle in much later on? Who knows! I don’t! But I love exploring both anglesto their fullest extent. I’ll also drive the pain all the way in: If Taiyangends up dying in canon, the break of their bond is powerful enough it causesRaven to cry.

In AUs, I ship the hell out ofSummer and Raven. In-canon, I’ll always go the STR-Crossed route in which allthree of them are just hopelessly in love with one another and in which Ravenpretends she doesn’t regret leaving them behind.

·        nOTP: Honestly, beyondthe obvious incest ships (like with her daughter, wtf?), there’s not really anyships with Raven that make me squelch. Even a crackship like Cinder/Raven hasthis weird, sexy angle to it.

·        Randomheadcanon: -Like everyone else, Raven used to have a copy of the team STRQphoto. Much like her brother, she kept it on her, even after she left. But shortlyafter Summer died, she burned the photo in the camp’s firepit, cutting off herfinal ties to them.

-Qrow and Ravenwere never sent to Beacon to ‘become huntsman and return with their skills’. Itwas what they were told but they were sent there because the leader at the timehoped they’d die in the process – in Raven’s case, to eliminate her dangerouslyambitious nature. Qrow always knew this was the real reason, but Raven didn’t acceptthis until much later. Upon her return to the tribe, she eventually confrontedand ultimately killed the former leader for that act.

-Though it relies on help fromone of her teammates, Raven can cut things in half with her portals if shecloses it when it’s only halfway through, and has done so on multiple occasionsto cut right through Grimm.

-Raven is either going to die acoward… or a hero.

·        Unpopularopinion: I don’t really think Raven left because she got pregnant; ifRaven was so intent on abandoning her, I don’t feel like the show would tell usthat she visits her daughter enough that Yang is able to recognize her birdform. I think it’s an interesting angle, but I think her fear of Salem is thegenuine reason she left but she only really knew one other home: The Tribe. Herdecision to leave Yang behind either was forced from her by the rest of her teamor was her own choice at the time, knowing her daughter would be more at risk ifshe came along.

·        Song Iassociate with them: Alright, I scoured around for a bit for this one. I’m going tosettle on “Heaven’s a Lie” by Lacuna Coil. Though there’s not much to actually workwith, it rather matches well with how she feels she was given false promises byOzpin (“Destiny of a lie/Set me free, your heaven’s a lie”) and how sheultimately left her team behind and returned a life of corruption (“I need toknow when I’ll fall into decay… I need to know why did I choose to betray you?Something wrong with all the plans of my life”)  

·        Favoritepicture of them:

God damn she’s hot when she’sabout to wreck people’s shit.

Qrow Branwen

(The man whowas Emo before it was cool)

·        Favorite thingabout them: There’s a lot to love, from his dashing good looks to hisendless sass, but I especially like his emotional vulnerability. I think it’s thesadist in me, but I get endless amounts of joy from him letting down his wallsand being more open: talking about his semblance, panicking whenever Ruby is indanger, his fury and sorrow over Ozpin’s half-truths – yeah, I live for thisshit. If he cries in the show, it will almost definitely become my new favoritemoment.

·        Least favoritething about them: So, fun fact: I hatedQrow at first and simply because of this fact -he’s a drunk. Now, this is superpersonal, but I grew up with addiction in my family, so characters like Qrowalmost never make it high up on my list, if they make it on at all. It’ll alwaysremain my least favorite thing about him, but I do like how the show isexploring the issue and, in fact, have enjoyed exploring it myself in mywriting. It’s therapeutic.

·        Favorite line: As far as linedelivery goes, got to give it to “Look, this has nothing to do with trust. I- …It’s a long story, okay?” The amount of emotion put into those simple words is frankly,just beautiful. Got to also give proper appreciation to “I DID IT!” and “Well…that’s unfortunate.”

I’ll always be most fond of “Youtwo? You’re gonna go far. But only if you keep learning. If you never stopmoving forward.” Not only as it’s a homage to Monty, but it really shows Qrow’skinder, more loving side when it comes to his nieces.

·        brOTP: So whileshipping them is generally off the table, Summer and Qrow being best friends isalways my jam. I can see these two having little drinking sessions together or gettingcompetitive over two-player video games. Perhaps they even geeked out togetherwhen they both realized they loved the tale of the Grimm Reaper. I also stronglybelieve that it was Qrow who encouraged Summer to admit her feelings to Tai, advisingher that to wait could mean to lose her chance entirely. And then, when sheactually did, teased her endlesslyabout it.

·        OTP: Can I just fillout a second paragraph about how much I love Taiqrow? Because, I really love Taiqrow.I can see it happening entirely on accident. One night, Taiyang and Qrow aresaying good night and, without thinking, Taiyang just dips down and gives him akiss. He freaks out, not because of the action insomuch that he was afraid hejust ruined their friendship until Qrow just rolls his eyes and drags him infor another one.

On a side note, I’m really startingto get a soft spot for OzQrow and I blame the rest of the fandom for this. Ironic,that I ship them now that Ozpin has technically died and it’s TOO LATE.

As for James/Qrow, I see thehighlights of it, and in small measures like it myself, but it’s not very highup on my list.

Winter and Qrow is a total guiltypleasure ship and I’m not sorry.

·        nOTP: Again, beyondthe obvious choices? Eh, I’ve noticed Tyrian/Qrow is gaining some traction and,while it definitely doesn’t give me the heebie-jeebies some ships do, that oneis definitely not my cup of tea.

·        Randomheadcanon: -Qrow likes to bestow nicknames to people he likes, as nicknamesare terms of endearment to him. For people like James or Oz, who are Jimmy andWizard respectively, he uses them sparingly; whereas, for family, he tends touse them much more frequently. Especially with his nieces. They often can tell whenhe’s being serious or when they are in trouble if he starts using their actual names.When he was a teacher, almost all of his students got nicknames, since he wasterrible at remembering them by their actual names.

-Qrow’ssemblance caused him to be sent to Ozpin’s office. A lot. It gave everyone,except for the very few who actually knew what his semblance was, theimpression that he was nothing but a troublemaker.  Eventually, Qrow started paying Glynda on theside to use her own semblance to fix whatever his would break.

-Qrow’s drinking actually startedin school. He’s generally a happy, reckless drunk, and people tended to likehis company more and, craving both that feeling and the attention, he continuedto seek out social events for an excuse to drink. When he was young, he wasalso extremely choosey on the brew he would have, as a bad mixture often hadthe effect of making his mood plummet instead. As he grew more dependent on thealcohol, he stopped caring as much.

-Qrow isabsolutely bisexual and no one can convince me otherwise.

·        Unpopularopinion: I really don’t think Qrow sleeps around as much as the generalfandom believes he does. I get why the archetype is there, especially with how flirtatioushe can be, but with how insecure Qrow actually is, I feel like he’d actually bepretty hesitant when it comes to getting intimate, especially with strangers. Accidentalpregnancies, anyone?

·        Song Iassociate with them: Okay this one was actually an easy choice: “Breaking the Habit”by Linkin Park. It really highlights the current struggle Qrow’s going throughin this volume (not knowing what is worth fighting for) while it also can relateback to his addiction and self-worth/depression issues (Not feeling all rightand hurting a lot more than ever before).

·        Favoritepicture of them:

Just your resident bird man, looking badass as shit.

[saviorgoddessastrid]

How To Write An Interesting Deity

So, I get some commentary about how Astrid’s an incredibly well-written deity OC, and I have a couple of friends who I talk to about our mutual frustrations with how folks generally RP or just write deity OCs.  Given how I am a guy who wants others to improve, I’m going to detail how to come up with a deity that folks are going to be actually interested in.  Fair warning, this is a lot simpler than it sounds, and most of it is going to be under the cut due to the length.  So, let’s begin, shall we?

So, when we talk about gods that are being written by folks, there’s a general set of pitfalls you’ll see people fall into, what I shall refer to as The Classic Blunders.  These are pitfalls you see almost everybody who writes a deity do, and they‘re mistakes you should probably avoid if you want your deity to be interesting.

Classic Blunder #1: The Power Fantasy.

Let’s not kid ourselves here, deities are an easy Power Fantasy to write, because gods are inherently overpowered beings and you can easily excuse their OPness under their divine status.  However, consider this: Everyone and their mother knows this fact, and is using it for that very purpose.

With this Classic Blunder, you commonly see folks creating a deity with the express purpose of being The Strongest(tm) and having little personality outside of Being The Strongest(tm).  This isn’t exclusively a mistake done by deity writers, and honestly it speaks more of one’s inexperience with RPing than it does their actual OC when it’s committed.  These deities all have a single purpose: Be as ludicrously overpowered as possible, and shit on everyone else and get away with it because they’re a god and they’re taking the shit on mortals.

This may seem entertaining in the short-term, but frankly, folks aren’t going to be interested in a character who is, by all measurements, arrogant, selfish, and prone to destroying anything they want on a whim just because they can.  While some folks might find entertainment in the Power Fantasy, for those of us who like good characters, this becomes an extremely frustrating topic because the vast, vast majority of deity OCs are built with this purpose in mind.

I’m not going to say not to make your deity powerful, because that is part of the purpose of gods, to be something greater than a mortal.  However, instead of having your deity abuse their power and shit all over everyone else, consider the following: Instead of focusing on what they can do, focus instead on what they should do with that power.

Here’s a classic example: Folks like to ask, “If God is all-powerful and benevolent, why doesn’t He just cure every disease possible?” And while yes, the vast majority of deities could easily obliterate every possible disease out there in an instant, the long-term effect of such an action is a net-loss.

In curing every disease imaginable, not only are people left with weaker immune systems, medical science is rendered irrelevant.  No new cures and breakthroughs are invented, and people have less reason to actually treat themselves when something does happen, because they have a god who has already set precedence that they can and will cure their diseases and injuries for them.

Their followers learn nothing, and ultimately slip backwards and become reliant on their god’s power to solve everyday problems because there is precedence for such a thing.  That is not a beneficial thing in the long run, and gods, being totally immortal, will live to see the lasting harm of their actions.

Unless your god’s shtick is explicitly being evil or uncaring, your god is probably going to be concerned with the long-term ramifications of their actions, since they will live long enough to be concerned by them.  And if they’re uncaring, they’re less likely to want to involve themselves in trivial mortal affairs.

That’s an important aspect to consider.  Gods think bigger and broader in scope than mortals do, and while they have the power to change reality, whether or not the should do that is a matter of debate.

Classic Blunder #1a: Hostile Divine Negotiations

This Classic Blunder is related to the first one, and like the first one, tends to be the result of inexperience more than anything else.  This Classic Blunder is mostly for crossover material.  In particular, two gods interacting with each other across universes.  A lot of folks who write Power Fantasy deities like to look down on other deities and make it very apparent they don’t approve of the other.

It is important to bear in mind that gods are petty, selfish creatures prone to spiting whoever offended them at a moment’s notice.  Every god knows this, and even if your god is extremely powerful, they will also know that every deity has a number of allies at their back.  Remember, a good chunk of bad things that happen to mortals in mythology are the results of them insulting the gods in some fashion and suffering payback, which the gods are happy to inflict.  There’s no reason to believe that the gods won’t do the same for another god not of their pantheon (or even of their pantheon, depending).

As such, if your deity is going to waltz on in and start insulting another deity because you view your god as arbitrarily stronger, recognize that you’re pretty much going to, at best, get an annoyed god that wants you to go away, or at worst, an interdimensional pantheon war, which is a horrible result because war between gods is never pretty, and your god will stand to lose a lot as a result of these shenanigans.

As a result, no matter how powerful your god is, it’s generally wiser to have your god be at least neutral in tone around other gods.  They may have their issues, but few gods would be reckless enough to insult another god and risk a war between pantheons, because even if they’d win, they’d lose more than they’d gain.

Classic Blunder #1b: Omnipotent Jackass

This one’s also related to the first one of Being The Strongest(tm), and this one is mostly about goddesses, particularly omnipotent goddesses.  This one I see less often in RPing than the others, so much as writing, but it’s a thing that happens sometimes.  I’ve noticed that several people who write omnipotent goddesses tend to have their goddess simply abuse their power, warp reality to their leisure, and be treated as the sexiest woman alive as a result of their power.

However, these sorts of characters are, to me at least, much less appealing than kind-hearted goddesses, because when you read between the lines, these characters come off as cruel, selfish, and self-centered, caring about nobody but themselves and willingly using their power to do whatever they damn well please, knowing that nobody can stop them.  I can see some level of appeal in it, but I’d rather someone who has infinite power be restrained in its usage because then I know I can talk with them without them turning me into a footstool because they’re bored.

This doesn’t necessarily apply purely to sex appeal either, though it tends to be used for such, but any god who abuses their omnipotence to no end can fall into this particular Classic Blunder, especially if they’re doing it just because they can.  The only real thing I can say here is that, unless you’re deliberately making your god uncaring about anyone around them, it’s probably better that they show at least some restraint in their power usage.  It’s not very fun to have someone who’s omnipotent constantly warping reality to their leisure and being a dick to everyone, at least, for those of us who don’t find that stuff attractive.

Classic Blunder #1c: Amoral God

This topic is closely related to Omnipotent Jackass, but has a few distinctions.  Amoral God largely has to deal with gods who are intended to be Lovecraftian in design.  The problem is that these gods end up as a case of “all the power in the universe, and no personality to back it up”.

The idea behind Amoral God is that they operate on an entirely different set of morals than mortals, and thus are beyond mortal comprehension.  What you typically get instead is a god that simply does what they please and has no discernible motives for anything except “It Amused Me”.  These gods are extremely boring to work with because they just don’t seem interested in anything except what personally interests them, and end up being extremely one-note in personality even when you’re trying to make them interesting by making them unlike other human gods.

The only real thing I can tell you here is that vagueness does not equate to substance in and of itself.  You need to go with something greater than that if you wish to be a truly interesting deity, someone who folks are going to want to learn more than that.

To give you a general tip on how to write a Lovecraftian deity: The trick with Lovecraftian gods is that their sense of morality is different from ours, but that wouldn’t make them completely incomprehensible to us.  Their actions and deeds are going to seem strange to us, but they are definitely going to be consistent in their applications.  When writing one of these gods, figure out what they view as right and wrong, and make it apparent that they view things in this manner.  Don’t just end it at “they view things different from humans, so don’t bother trying to understand it”.

Classic Blunder #2: The Christ Problem

Now, unlike Classic Blunder #1, Classic Blunder #2 is an issue that comes at you from both writers and readers.  What is The Christ Problem you might ask? The Christ Problem, as a friend of mine calls it, is the assumption that gods are inherently perfect creatures, who are either pure good or pure evil, with no room left for a middle-ground.  Mistakes made are intentional, and flaws hint at them being evil.

The interesting thing about The Christ Problem is that this is a purely Judeo-Christian view of the gods, and even then, it’s a misinterpretation of the Judeo-Christian God, who was very much a flawed figure in the Bible.  Outside of Christianity, gods have always been treated as flawed creatures, and never a perfect being.

Greek Mythology, one of the best examples of gods done right, was so memorable to so many because their gods were human.  Every god in Greek Mythology had their flaws, their vices, their virtues, and were overall no different from their own creations with the exception of power.  However, this was by no means exclusive to Greek Mythology in and of itself.  Norse Mythology had much of the same issues with the gods, that they made mistakes in a desperate attempt to avert Ragnarok and, in the end, caused the very thing they were trying to avoid to occur.

When you work with The Christ Problem in combination with The Power Fantasy, there’s a noticeable split in how it’s applied.  Many times, male deities are treated as pure good even though they are by all measurements cruel and arrogant, while female deities are treated as the purest of evils even if all their actions point to them being good people just because they made a few mistakes.

Counteracting The Christ Problem is very difficult because of how this is a Classic Blunder committed by readers just as often as it’s committed by writers.  The only real thing I can tell you is this: No religion in the history of existence has treated their gods as truly perfect, and gods can make mistakes.  As well, the idea of a god never doing a bad thing ever is totally unrealistic.  As I said, gods are infinitely more likely to care about the long game, and they will be willing to do a bad thing in the short term for a long-term gain for their followers.  Just remember: All the most interesting gods out there got that way because they made very human mistakes and are all the more relatable because of it.

Classic Blunder #3: Where The Religion?

This one’s a more minor nitpick, but I noticed that a lot of deity OCs don’t actually touch up on one of the most important aspects of gods: Their religion.  There’s a lot you can do to craft a god’s personality by just figuring out their religion.

The vast majority of deity OCs never mention their religion, or if they do, it’s only in passing and never given some actual detail.  Religion is perhaps one of the most important parts of a god, because religion is typically how gods interact with their mortal followers.  Really, if you’re going to write a deity OC, you should really think deeply about what your god teaches to their followers and what they believe in.  There’s a lot to cover on that topic alone.  And developing a god’s religion will help you develop their personality.

When it comes to deity OCs, developing the religion is entirely optional.  Many deities can get by without any actual worship, and even if they did need it, not every god is directly involved in their faith.  You rarely see other mythologies delve into how exactly one should worship the gods and make it a key factor of the gods (most simply leave it at “respect the gods or else”).

However, if you’re stumped on where to take your deity and what you want them to be personality-wise, it would be quite beneficial for you to contemplate their religion.  Consider what aspects your deity represents and what they teach.  For instance, many War Gods are all about battle in some format, while a Sun God is typically about...well, the sun and the warmth it brings.

You need not develop an entire mythology around your deity, simply consider what they teach, what they represents, and how their domains affect them as a person.  Many gods are interested in assuring that their domains remain unchallenged and that they can continue to grow in power as they work.

What to do to make your deity stand out?

Honestly, I know that this sounds like a lot of explanations, but frankly, it all boils down to one thing: Give your gods a genuine personality outside of their raw power.  How do they view their worshipers? Do they love them like they would their own children, or are they distant from their followers? Do they get personally involved with their faith, or do they leave their worshipers to their own devices? For that matter, what does your god do when confronted with followers who use their faith as a shield against criticism and commit horrible misdeeds that go against the god’s own teachings?

If you can give your god a genuine personality that is about more than just having raw power, then you’re well on your way to creating a fascinating deity that truly stands out among the rabble that other deity OC writers come up with.  And I assure you, folks will be infinitely more interested in interacting with your deity if they can be taken as something that seems human, despite all of their divine power.

In regards to a god’s power, the best thing to do is leave the limits defined, but the powers vague.  You’ll notice in a lot of other mythologies, the gods tend not to have their powers spelled out for everyone in plain lettering, they simply give them a defined limit, and leave the rest up to one’s imagination.

Where To Start?

If you wish to write a truly interesting deity OC, I strongly suggest studying ancient religions, particularly Greek Mythology, though by all means, don’t feel it necessary to restrict yourself to it.  Any religion can serve as inspiration, as long as you use its ideas respectfully, and while I myself love a good Greek Myth-inspired character, every other religion out there has something interesting to bring to the table.  Pick up on the quirks and traits that the gods of other religions demonstrate outside of the Christian faith.  See how the god’s domains influence them as people, and what they teach to their followers through their myths.  You’ll find that it’s much easier to write an interesting god than you might think if you study how other religions did the topic.

Above all else: Don’t rely too much on your god’s raw power.  Once you get to the point where your god can create planets with their mind, any higher and you’re basically just saying they’re fully omnipotent.  There’s little reason to boast about a god’s accomplishments, because every god is well beyond what mortals can do, and we don’t read about gods to see them constantly boasting and belittling others.  We read about them to see the unique challenges they face, and see how their very human flaws result in them committing terrible mistakes out of selfish reasons.

Gods are, by far, one of the more interesting topics to write about when you work with more than just a bland power fantasy.  Really, you should try it sometime, you might find it to be more interesting and worthwhile than Power Fantasy OC God #5731257532652.

[athingofvikings]

A Thing Of Vikings Original Outline

Here’s my original outline for A Thing Of Vikings that I wrote up for NaNoWriMo 2016.  While some bits might look familiar--for obvious reasons--the outline only lasted until November 8th or so before my actual writing diverged from it and I had to send it to a happier place.  Keep in mind that I thought that I could actually write this in 100k word count (yeah, I know, but this was one of my first novel-scale writing projects in years).  As for the reason for the break from the outline, as my historical research got more and more in-depth, I came to realize just how flawed my understanding of the era’s political setup was, and I changed paths.  

Dating about 10th century; William the Conqueror is not yet in control of England, Berk is located in the British Isles, in the Hebrides archipelago.  King Cnut the Great is king over Denmark, Norway and England. HTTYD, late summer/early Autumn, 1041 CE Immediate aftermath of HTTYD; local dragons are domesticated (to greater or lesser extents); the Berk economy picks up a bit, with the whole “not having to constantly rebuild houses and defend flocks” aspect, plus the construction aid.  Hiccup and co are working to integrate the dragons as quickly as possible.  

Some traders show up, as Berk is one of the main places to get dragon parts (and word will start to spread as a result of the ship’s crews talking in other ports, later on), especially as they know that Dragon Training will have just culminated, meaning that there will definitely be dragon carcasses available for purchase.  They’re a bit surprised at the change.  Most people refuse to sell their personal dragons (and the main flock belongs to the Haddocks), although a few agree to sell for exorbitant prices; At least one of the Hooligans has written up a saga of “The Hero Of Berk: Dragon Champion” and is declaiming it to the sailors; Hiccup is humiliated, Astrid is deeply amused and has some sarcasm at Hiccup’s expense, while Snotlout feels overlooked and threatened

Stoick has specifically puts Hiccup on task to get the dragons rounded up, for the good of the tribe and for their own family.  Hiccup and co have been returning to the Dragon Nest to retrieve as many eggs as they can, and relocate them to Berk as part of their taming efforts.  People also have been scavenging as much of the Green Death’s scales and other parts that they can, as trophies or for sale, since the battle.  “I can’t believe all of these scales and bits survived”  “Well, as Hiccup pointed out, they’re no so fireproof on the inside, but the scales are on the outside.”  “Okay, yeah”.  

Hiccup, in particular, is overseeing the removal of the (still mostly intact) 20 foot tall Thagomizer, which requires the heavy lift of over three dozen dragons working together and using a special carry system that Hiccup devised in order to get it back to Berk; it gets back to Berk just as the traders arrive, creating more of an impression than intended.  Hiccup would just as soon have left the damn thing on the island, but Stoick has plans.

Hiccup, when the thagomizer touches down on Berk: “Finally.  We were running out of time before winter.” Astrid, “Yep.  It’s the tail end of the season.”  Hiccup does a double take at Astrid’s innocent expression, which cracks into a grin after a moment, and he groans.  They have a quick kiss before getting back to work. 

  Winter, year 0 Rumors spread, while Berk only makes it through the winter thanks to the efforts of the dragons, and Hiccup madly inventing away (sometimes with things blowing up in his face); gronkles make for great fireplace aids.   Dragons do not like flying in storms, though (excepting Tidal class).  But ice fishing is much easier when you can have dragons melt a hole in the ice and scare fish up into the nets.  

Snotlout and a few other hotheads go raiding other nearby villages for Highland Cattle in a cattle-raid, but do it extremely stealthily, and Stoick and Gobber don’t find out about it until the beef and mutton have already been consumed, and the neighbors have no idea what happened.  Stoick’s reaction basically boils down to “please at least tell me that no one saw you, I have enough headaches right now, but don’t do it again.”  

He doesn’t tell Hiccup, not seeing the point, and, besides, it would require getting the boy’s attention, which is fully occupied by Astrid,  Toothless and making stuff in the forge.  Gobber comments that the last time he tried to get Hiccup’s attention when he was focused and in the middle of something in the forge, Toothless dragged Gobber outside and set his shoe on fire.  Of course, a few minutes later, he heard a loud bang and Hiccup swearing, so maybe the dragon had a point.  Stoick laughs and comments that the dragon and the girlfriend have worked wonders on his son’s clumsiness.  “We haven’t had a mess since—” *BANG* *CRASH* rumblerumblerumble *CRACK* “Oh, I hurt, I am very much hurt!” *thud* … *crunch* *dink*. Gobber just looks at his chief innocently, who facepalms, looks skyward, and says “Miladies of the Norns, I live for your amusement.  Come, Gobber, let’s see what just happened.”  

Hiccup and Astrid have some fluffy scenes in the middle of the snow-covered landscape, especially at Yule (hair-braids; she excuses them as “getting your hair out of being burned away again”), interrupted by a dragon attacking Mildew (who provoked it), and who is now demanding that the beast be put down.  

A few of the village artisans are, with the help of some Gronkle construction teams, carving some of the other sea stacks around Berk into more statue-lighthouses, among other things, while Stoick has tamed Thornado.

We see word spreading from the crewmen in their winter ports; at least one person starts singing the Hero Of Berk, with some edits...  

Spring, year 0 Thawfest, shortly after the spring thaw; a few of the neighboring tribes, who have heard about the dragons, come in, with at least one group looking to steal a dragon

At least one group of idiots (lead by Snotlout) goes raiding on the Christian mainland on their dragons, for both prestige and loot; Snotlout is desperately trying to get together enough money to buy off the cost of his dragon from his father, who has made it abundantly clear that Hookfang is hostage to paying off Snotlout’s previous misbehavior.  

Hiccup and Astrid discussing the fact that many of the dragons are shedding their scales; Fishlegs finds a fact in one of his books that points out that this is normal for reptiles, just like the teeth that they also shed.  In the midst of the discussion, Snotlout’s raid comes back and there is much oohing and ahhing over the loot and Snotlout being “a proper Viking!”, with some of the villagers casting significant looks at Hiccup

Hiccup gets a bit depressed about not living up to the Viking ideal and how the dragons are (in his view) being misused.  Astrid proceeds to (gently, by her standards) pull him out of it.  By tossing him into some freezing cold water, and, when he’s a bit more lively, giving him a kiss.  “That’s for moping around like someone kicked Toothless.”  *drags out of water* *kiss*  “And that’s for being the person that you are.  So, now, what are you going to do about this?”

Hiccup puts a kibosh on dragon-mounted raids, emphatically, but neglects to add any teeth to the stricture, instead choosing to trust people to listen.  (It doesn’t work)

Meanwhile, Hiccup wants to A) be a dragon rider, B) spend time with Astrid, and C) not have to fight anybody, in that order.  (he and Astrid do conflict over Hiccup’s own pacifism as one of their main conflicts).  Astrid also wants A) to be a dragon rider, B) spend time with Hiccup, and C) prove her prowess to anyone that might doubt otherwise

Hiccup and the other dragon riders attempt to talk with some of the other local tribes; results are mixed (although Hiccup does get the idea of a dragon mail system when someone asks him to bring a package to the next tribe for their child there).  Snotlout is (unsuccessfully) hitting on every attractive unmarried woman within range of his age as they go.

Hiccup and Astrid have their first serious argument over this whole idea of going around and introducing dragons to the other tribes; she thinks that showing off the dragons will result in the other tribes reacting with fear and/or greed, and that they’ll think that Berk is trying to intimidate them (gunboat diplomacy style), while Hiccup thinks that the other tribes will react like Berk did once they find out that the dragons can be friendly.  The two end up shouting at each other in the disagreement and going to opposite sides of the group to sulk.  

The next morning, when the group wakes up, Hiccup, after having thought things over, comes over to apologize and say that he has an idea (the mail system) that could work to get people used to dragons and show that Berk is interested in working with the other tribes, rather than subjugating.  

Astrid accepts his apology, and notes that of course she wants to have things work out—but that you have to work towards your goal, not just vaguely hope that they’ll end up that way because you think that they will.  She’ll explicitly compare it to Hiccup’s efforts in the forge; “people are like axes”.  “Come again?  Sharp and you like to throw them into trees?”  “No…” she comparing it to her ax or Toothless’ harness—he had to pound them into shape with fire and hammer, and keep going back and refining them, and sharpen them when they get dull or wear out, rather than just going “oh, that’s good enough.  And, if you don’t keep it up, then the ax isn’t sharp for when you need it.”  Hiccup, looking at that line of thought, is somewhat speechless for a few minutes, but manages to get out a “dear gods, I’m so lucky.”  “And don’t you forget it.  One of your biggest problems, Hiccup, is that you kept doing exactly that—going out without thinking, which is where you’re strongest, and hoping, expecting! your intentions, and not your brains, to make it work.  *snort*  Toothless’ tail was the first time where you couldn’t get away with doing that and leaving someone else to clean up the mess, so you had to keep trying until you got it right.”

Hiccup is somewhere between mush and a puddle and feeling rather naked by the end of it, where Astrid goes “So, now, you have this other idea. That’s great, and I’m not joking.  I want to hear every single bit that you’ve thought of,” she smirks, “and then I’m going to chop it to pieces.  I’m going to keep asking ‘what if this happens, or that happens’ until it falls apart.  And then you’re going to put it back together.  And we’ll keep doing that.  Your job is to build something that I can’t take to pieces or bend out of shape.  Got it?”  Hiccup nods, and walks off to Toothless in a daze.  “Dat da dah, I’m dead.”  Ruffnut “Yeah, you’ll actually have to use your brain enough to keep her happy.”  Tuffnut *snort* “It’s probably the only way he can keep her happ *small plasma blast* Oh, I hurt, I very much hurt!”

Summer, year 0 Hiccup is going on a mad inventing spree (especially heavy-lift harnesses for the mail system that is still an idea in his head); Astrid helps, mostly as a test subject (amusing injuries resulting on occasion).  Entertaining scene with him going through his growth spurt and going through new legs every week or two; have him get up from his seat and stumble, and Astrid quips “Did you grow another inch since you sat down?”  “Yeah, well, clearly my body decided to put all of the effort towards growing out the one leg instead of both.”  Hiccup, being at the clumsy stage of teenaged boy-hood, with his body growing out all over the place, and having the “talking with his hands” aspect, knocks over something that shouldn’t be knocked, and he and Astrid have to hit the deck.

Astrid, for her part, is supervising experiments with different ways of prepping/preserving food for the dragons to see what they like best, although is not doing the cooking herself (much to the gratitude of the dragons, as her horrible cooking skills is something that both Stormfly and Toothless will deliberately exaggerate for comedic effect).  She finds that, contrary to Hiccup’s expectations (that they’ll prefer roasted or smoked), that the general draconic preference is for pickled, vinegar-brined and/or fermented  meat (either fish or fowl, with beef or mutton being distant third preferences).  Since the fish doesn’t have to be fresh, this will help for getting through the winter (although some people question the dragons’ taste in liking rotten fish soaked in spoiled beer).  Stormfly, in particular, is noted as liking pickled and roasted chicken, with rosemary.  Hiccup says that she’s spoiling her dragon, with a smile.  

Comedic scene with veritable pack of dragons following the farmers harvesting the dragon-nip grass with wide-eyed innocent expressions that fool nobody.  

Introduction of one of Astrid’s ideas that Hiccup implemented—a dragon batting toy stuffed with dragon-nip.  Amusing hijinks ensue—to the point where the toy is banned from the housing area of the village as a result of the collateral damage.  Astrid ends up hanging it from the top of the cage in the dragon arena, where it has to be replaced weekly.  

Pretty much all of the other remaining Norse chieftains, along with the Irish petty kings and Scottish clansmen, have heard about Hiccup’s dragon-taming and dragon-battle by now, and are suitably impressed, and reacting with respect, fear, hostility, or greed as their individual temperaments allow; some were more skeptical, but a few circulating Green Dragon scales (complete with associated char) were convincing (Gobber hasn’t helped, either, as he has literally embellished a few of the scales with scenes from the Green Dragon Fight).   The respectful chiefs are in understandable awe, and will treat Berk as a senior warrior would be by a neophyte, often sending tribute.  

The fearful chiefs will react in a variety of ways, being afraid of being conquered by the Dragon Lord/King/Conqueror/Chief to voluntarily offering vassalage (rare, but it does happen at least once, despite Viking “stubbornness issues”; Stoick will turn it down, grumbling that the other chief just wants Stoick to do his job for him).  

The hostile chiefs will overlap a bit with the fearful chiefs, and view Berk with suspicion, that now that Berk is not tied up in dealing with dragon pests, they’ll invade other people in their now-spare time, either for vassals or just for loot, while the greedy chiefs… well, they just want dragons for themselves.  

how to handle in story without going to Weber-esque bloat; every so many chapters, introduce a new chief reacting to Hiccup’s accomplishments; using this method allows for easy inclusion of the Christian lords’ reactions without drawing attention to them; go with one chief reacting in each method, then move onto the Christians

first chief to get this treatment will be an Irish chieftain who will be hearing a mildly embellished verse of “The Dragon Rider Of Berk” from an itinerant bard, who are both impressed and terrified at the idea of someone badass enough to not only beat but tame a Night Fury.  At the end, the fili notes to the bard that the verse was short, and the bard nods, but notes that he’s working on fixing that.  The chief makes a note to send a representative to Berk, with tribute.

Early autumn, 1 year since HTTYD Hiccup and others have now spent a whole year with the dragons, and are writing up their observations in the new dragon book; he also has a talk with Snotlout about the raids (after Snotlout comes back with a cow in each of Hookfang’s claws), and Snotlout promises not to (a promise that he later breaks without thinking)

Hiccup and Fishlegs work on polishing routes for the dragon mail; there is training people in navigational tools by Stoick and Gobber; the twins end up poking themselves in the eyes with theirs, and Snotlout manages to get a reading that puts him near the Equator.  Hiccup and Astrid have extreme degrees of fluffiness and teh cute, such that Snotlout complains.

The new version of Dragon Training debuts: dragon rider training; instead of killing dragons, graduates have to bond with and successfully ride a dragon of their choice; if they succeed at a series of challenges, they get to keep the dragon.  This dragon is from the Haddock flock, which Hiccup has been pushing for on several counts (let the other villagers handle them and the costs (especially over the winter), while maintaining control over the main supply, also the economic boost from having villagers getting access to dragons of their own—but in a way that, essentially, indoctrinates them to Hiccup’s methodology—which will be important when they need riders for the Dragon Mail.  

There is some murmuring of discontent from the older villagers, as the old way of dragon killing had significant incentive aside from the prestige: the carcass of the dead dragon would belong to the new graduate, which would act as prize money, and, being an adult now, would often be significant help for a household, very often either as a dowry or bride price; the Hofferson clan were and are a wealthy clan because of their prowess at killing dragons, hence why Astrid was so vehement about dragon training—family tradition as well as being the sort of thing that would let her have a degree of independence from her family, economically speaking.  Hiccup is hoping that the new way will take hold quickly, but knows that there will be an incentive for slaughter over livestock.  

Since the Hooligans are a dying tribe, there are only six children taking the new Dragon Training course, and Stoick has put the kibosh on anyone starting at a younger age.

Harvest festivals—with dragons!  (the rep from the Irish chief is present, and is in awe); a bunch of the local artisans have finished working on their projects of bone carving, tooth carving, and scale embellishment and present them to the chief.  Hiccup is less than amused by some of the embellishments (in the poetic sense) to his physique, while Astrid is appreciative; this results in a degree of argument between the two of them, and Astrid apologizes after Hiccup gets himself hurt by attempting to compensate.

Winter, year 1 Deep irony scene, of Stoik and Hiccup, along with Gobber and Astrid, discussing how Berk’s economy is sad (”almost depressed”) at present; the initial flurry of sales of pieces of the dragon queen is over, and they have no carcasses to sell, meaning that they have no additional income at the moment; some traders have shown up trying to buy Hiccup-trained dragons, but he won’t sell, and the Hooligans have learned that getting replacements of their own from Hiccup will be difficult.  

Meanwhile everyone is looking at them like they’re about to start wildly conquering their neighbors on dragonback, and the idiots who did go a-viking are a few hotheaded glory hounds interested in shiny loot, personal glory, and pretty women more than they’re interested in ruling anybody (although Snotlout, again, is being a braggart and a few people are thinking about making him into a figurehead).  They’re also having problems with poachers—just a few, and nobody’s been successful yet (because, hey, dragons), but the Hooligans are itching for a good fight, and things are getting tense.

Tensions lead to some rather epic brawls at Yule; the dragons end up taking sides with their riders, which results in problems, and Hiccup has to put his foot down

The hatchery has outgrown its original space, and Hiccup is using whispering death dragons and gronkles to tunnel out more as quickly as possible, as well as expanding dragon quarters in the main island area.

One other chief attempts a surprise attack over the winter, thinking that the dragons will be hibernating; the attack gets its ass kicked (by the aforementioned itching Hooligans); this’ll be the intro for the greedy/hostile chief reaction.

Spring, year 1 Hiccup starts his Dragon Express mail system, and starts exporting what things he can safely milk and sheer from the dragons (shed scales, skin, and teeth, gas and saliva, etc), which starts making Berk into an economic powerhouse; more and more traders show up; Fishlegs, being the detail-oriented person that he is, is put in general charge of the business and production ends.  

Someone tries to hijack the dragon mail pretty much immediately, targeting Hiccup (not recognizing Toothless as a Night Fury and thinking that the “cripples” will be easy targets).  It doesn’t end well for the thieves, given that they were trying to capture a Night Fury and its very inventive rider.

Summer, year 1 Hiccup and Astrid barely see each other for over a month, they’re both so busy delivering messages; at this point, Toothless and Stormfly have a small mutiny and strand their riders up on a tall sea stack for some alone time; the two hop over to another sea stack nearby, like a pair of cats making sure that their owners can see that they’re being ignored.  The pair, after an initial degree of irritation, have a wonderful heart-to-heart session, along with some makeouts and cuddling.  Prior to the mutiny, Gobber has a small scene where Toothless and Stormfly come to him with a basket and basically play charades in trying to explain what they want him to do with it (I.e. fill it with food for their riders for them to hide on the sea stack)

Another chief’s reaction; having seen the dragons and their riders, and seen the carved dragon tooth with the battle against the Green Death on it), he’s pretty sure that Stoick is plenty more powerful than his own tribe, and offers his vassalization to Stoick.  (Stoick turns it down, firmly, noting that the other tribe is in Norway, and all this will accomplish is forcing him to spend resources and time on the other man’s problems)

In the aftermath of the fluff, some angst; Astrid’s mother takes Astrid aside when she gets home and asks, straight up, if this is more than a childhood infatuation.  Astrid is confused, but nods and says that, yes, she wouldn’t have been with him for a year and a half if she wasn’t serious about it.  Her mother nods, but says that children always think that it is serious, and with the two of them being dragon riders, it could have been just that, and asks some questions to determine, for herself, if the love is true, to be absolutely sure.  When the questions are affirmative, her mother gets very serious, and points out that Astrid almost certainly won’t get to marry Hiccup; he’s the chief’s son, meaning that he has keep the prospects for marriage alliances open from the other tribes, and she heard an offer arrived this morning.  

She lets Astrid absorb that for a moment before continuing.  While she would adore a love-match between her daughter and the next chief, Stoick has to be pragmatic, and Hiccup isn’t in charge of the purse strings of the coin of his marriage bed, especially now that tensions are mounting, thanks to Snotlout’s provocations and Hiccup’s spreading reputation. “Do you know what it means when a dozen different Viking chiefs all send tribute to the same chief?  It means that they’re either scared of him, or are trying to soften him up for a bargain that will benefit them—or both.  And the best bargain that they’re all going to want is their daughter in that house, with a grandson as soon as possible to cement the ties.”

That being said, any non-local “peace-weaver” would be a political marriage, and probably a loveless one, meaning that Hiccup will almost certainly turn to her for companionship.  Meaning that she would end up being a concubine, and her children, if any, wouldn’t be able to inherit.  Normally, Astrid would be forbidden by her clan from taking that course, as they’re of high status themselves, but being the close confident of the first dragon rider and the future chief of the village, well, that is not a normal situation.  

Astrid is… less than happy in the face of her mother’s analysis.  Her mother, being a bit more stoic on it, basically asks her daughter if that is something she would be willing to deal with; an empty bed, divided time, and resentment from the mother of the next chief, but a whole heart, and maybe the potential for a loving marriage when the requirements of the political marriage have been fulfilled and Hiccup can divorce.  Would she be willing to wait?  Is her love for him worth it?  Astrid, in tears at this point, sits for a long moment, and her mother gets up and leaves, telling her to think on it, but that, if she decides to stay with Hiccup, she has the support of the clan, and this decision is for herself, not for her family.  

Snotlout, being on one of the mail routes (Monstrous Nightmares being one of the faster, higher-capacity dragons, although Hiccup had a devil of a time making fireproof mail satchels), decides to take a moment to do a tiny little raid on a monastery that is in his path, not really thinking about the backlash, just pretty loot.  And, hey, look, it fits in the mail satchels!

Autumn, year 2 Fishlegs reports on Berk’s economic situation at the end of the harvest; things are going phenomenally, and comments that they’re pulling in money at rates to make Draupnir jealous.  If they continue this way, the village will be even better off than when they were selling dragon carcasses.  Hiccup makes the explicit comparison between sheepskin and wool.  

Astrid is abusing trees with her ax again, but hasn’t told Hiccup what her mother said.  Hiccup joins her, and probably makes her some more axes.  His form is terrible, and Astrid teaches him a bit on the fine art of ax throwing, reflecting to herself that, yeah, she would rather have him a bit than not at all.  

A few people sneak onto Berk to try their hand at Dragon-rustling, and manage to poach some of the more tame dragons, which are missed the next time the flock comes in for feeding, resulting a search; a few of the dragons return of their own accord for food, while a few others are gone completely.  

Rumors and legends are reaching the Christian lands in greater numbers, from raids and stories from the merchants; Hiccup would be embarrassed by the exaggerations—and, yes, his battle with the Red Death (or Green Death) is being topped in story, sometimes with it being two giant dragons, one green, one red, and him riding a black beast.  A few of the painted scales and carved teeth from Berk are being passed around as proof.  (The baron looked closer at the statue, and it twisted in his mind, and he realized what he was looking at.  “That… that is a tooth.  A tooth as tall as a man.”)

Winter, year 2 At Yule, Stoick has a big announcement to the entire tribe, and Astrid’s heart plummets, given that there are a few representatives from other tribes in the hall.  Hiccup pulls her aside, and, heart breaking, she goes with him, expecting him to tell her that they won’t be together, that his father is marrying him off to someone else.  Instead, Hiccup proposes to her.  Stunned, she babbles a bit, pointing out is turning down some significant negotiating power.  Hiccup says that he and Stoick already turned those offers down, and that he wants her, his friend, his partner, the person who makes his heart sing, and who will happily pull him out of a funk and into ice water when its needed—if she’ll have him.  She accepts, and a date is set for next spring.  The two of them reenter the mead hall in time to hear Stoick announce that he is convening an Althing of the  chiefs to discuss the dragons, and, with a thumbs-up from Hiccup, that his son is going to be getting married.  The hall erupts into applause.  

Another Christian lord hears of Hiccup’s tale, and is immediately worried, especially hearing of it through a Christian lens that views dragons as demonic/infernal

Astrid confronts Snotlout for his viking raids.  “Is this some kind of a joke to you?  We just ended one war; what are you doing, trying to start another?”

Spring, year 2 Stoick uses the income from the Dragon Express to push for an Althing, as a summit among the other neighboring tribes, especially when he realizes that many of them are simply not trusting the Dragon Express mail; he sends out his invitations in the traditional way (via ship), despite Hiccup’s beliefs otherwise. Hiccup and Astrid get married; Hiccup, rather than disturb his ancestors’ sleep, forges his own new family blade—which can burst into dragon-fire.  Gobber is very proud of his apprentice, while Stoick, having seen the blade already, is still somewhat incredulous at his genius son.  “Gobber, I tell ye, one of these days, a bunch of dwarves are going to tunnel up into that hatchery down there and say that Odin has another commission, or that they need help reforging Gleipnir, and ask if they can borrow Hiccup.”  Gobber laughs.  “Yea, but if they turn up in the next month, Astrid will say ‘no’ and chop off their heads, Ragnarok or no.” A Christian lord hears of the Althing, and begins planning out of fear

Summer, year 2 After a great deal of negotiation, the date for the Althing is set for the following year (to allow for provisions to be gathered and for travel time).  Stoick has to essentially bribe a few other chiefs to come by paying for their provisions, and the dragon riders are kept extremely busy delivering messages.  During this time, internal and external tensions within Berk and between the other tribes mount a bit; the detractors call the mail system Ratatoskr (after the squirrel that lives in Yggdrasil and carried malicious messages back and forth between Nidhogg and Vedrfolnir)

Autumn, year 3 One of the tribal chieftains that was hoping to get Stoick’s son married off to his own daughter tries an attack of opportunity against Astrid when she comes by to drop off mail.  She manages to escape, but both Astrid and Stormfly are badly hurt, and barely survive the return flight to Berk. Stoick, Hiccup, Astrid and an honor guard return shortly to confront the tribe; Stoick wants to burn the place to the ground, but is holding himself in check, but it is hard when the other chieftain claims insult, that they would send the woman that he married his son off to to their tribe and not expect to see it as a taunt?  Stoick growls, and challenges the other man to the holmgang, and, when the other man protests, Stoick basically says that he can either die in the ring or when Hiccup and Toothless finish burning the place to the ground, but he attacked Stoick’s daughter in law and his son’s wife, and they arm-wrestled to see who got first dibs, and they should be grateful that Hiccup lost.  But the other man acted dishonorably, and no one will question the righteousness of Stoick killing him.  

Winter, year 3 Snotlout, egged on by the attention and his own ego (and lack of long-term planning) goes on another raid, along with several others.  This time, he kidnaps a woman for his wife.

When he gets back, Hiccup tells him to stop and to let the woman go; this escalates to the point where there’s a formal challenge to be the dragon marshal of Berk (a position that Hiccup holds by default).  

It’s agreed to be the best of three challenges; first, the two have a race, which (despite some attempts at cheating by Snotlout’s supporters), Hiccup wins handily.  Snotlout then gets to pick the next challenge, a duel, and Astrid steps in as Hiccup’s champion.  Astrid kicks his ass, although it is a very close fight—he’s the better fighter of the two of them by a slim margin (mostly due to size and musculature, rather than strict skill, and she’s still healing from her wounds), and they both fight dirty, but she fights dirtier.  , knocking Snotlout back into a subservient position and having the woman go free; Hiccup and Astrid escort her home.

Construction of more dragon-related infrastructure continues

Spring, year 3 Preparations for the Althing; Stoick sends off other Hooligans to prepare the site of the Althing; Timberjacks and Gronkles are sent with their riders.  

Summer, year 3 The Althing Finally, the Althing arrives; Stoick, in an effort to placate the paranoia of his fellow chieftains, agreed to hold the conclave in a place other than Berk (”you expect us to walk into the dragons’ lair and talk terms with the beasts?”) Some representatives of persecuted Norse in the now Christianized Scandinavia also manage to come, as well as a few tribes that are culturally Norse but religiously Christian; 

“Didya hear what happened to the last fool who claimed insult against me son for marrying for love?  *snort*  Besides, unless me brains and fingers aren’t working right, there are a few dozen of you in here, and Hiccup here couldn’t exactly marry all your daughters to be peaceweavers.”  (Astrid very quietly has a fit of giggles while Hiccup turns bright red while the chiefs all start shouting)  “So, lets say that he had married any one of yours?  Then one of you gets the alliance that you are all hoping for, and then I have the rest of you still claiming insult, plus being worried about Berk and the other tribe ganging up on you.”  THUMP  “Think about it.  Ye all are better off with him and her up there, and ye all have reason to keep it that way. As for me, well, I’m not going to pick favorites or treat any of ye lot special.  We’re here to talk about the future, not the past, and my son’s marriage is the past.  You want the future?  How’s this—send your younger children and grandchildren to my son to foster, and you’ll get back dragon riders when they come of age.”  Hiccup looks at his father in panic, while Astrid’s jaw drops open, as Stoick continues. “You have it on my word of honor that they’d be treated with kindness and understanding, and, besides, raising them couldn’t be worse than raising Hiccup here by me lonesome,” (”Thanks, dad”) “and they’d all know each other, so—” “So your boy there can put on a crown?  How does us giving you hostages keep us from getting attacked by dragon riders from Berk!?” “Because my son will be training them and working with them.  Their safety will be on my honor, and if I lost my mind and attacked anyone—” “Like the [tribe that attacked Astrid]” “He attacked my kin, he tried to kill my son’s wife!  And, even with that provocation, I kept it to the Holmgang and didn’t claim his tribe as my spoils, even though I could have, easily, by the laws of the holmgang,” 

A bunch of Christian lords, fearful of the dragon-riders now raiding their homes, hear of the Althing and, fearing a united Norsedom riding dragons, attempt to attack the Althing, having scraped together as large a force as they could manage of knights and levies, totaling a few thousand, maybe ten thousand on the top side.  They nearly get spotted by the teens a few times when out riding on dragonback, but the kids aren’t actively scouting and are on tight leashes to the Althing (if anything, they lead the Christians, who are otherwise lost, to the right place).  The Christians are aiming for a decapitatory strike, especially at the dragon riders, which they view as the biggest threat, but are also interested in wiping out as many of the pagans as they can.  Snotlout gets himself captured in the resulting battle, along with Hookfang, due to sheer incompetence, but the Christians retreat, having killed some warriors and a few chiefs, but are repulsed by dragonfire, with Toothless and Stormfly making particular note of themselves. Hiccup is horrified, while Astrid is taken aback at how unprepared for facing dragons the Christians were (mistaking internal tensions between the loosely allied armies for lack of martial prowess, plus being much more hardened against dragonfire by virtue of being a Hooligan). 

Astrid and Hiccup attempt an ill-considered rescue mission and damn near get themselves, and Toothless and Stormfly, killed, because the Christians learned from their mistakes (and have been torturing Snotlout for information) and because they’re facing a single foe in an entrenched position as opposed to someone in an open battlefield.  Hiccup, while bandaging the dragons’ wounds, sarcastically comments that he’s not a very good viking; his first attempt at a raid, and look.  

Stoick, meanwhile, is trying to ride herd on the Althing and the cries for vengeance and conquest, but ultimately fails, and internal tensions between the Norse and the Christians tribes also results in problems, as the “old custom” looks at the “new custom” with suspicion.  He gets delivered an ultimatum by the war faction—teach them how to ride dragons, or else.  He refuses.  

One of the warmongering chiefs tries to have his thanes kidnap Hiccup for information on how to train dragons, with the aim of mustering a force and forging an empire of his own.  Astrid intervenes—aggressively, and angrily, and beats off the kidnappers (with help from Hiccup and Toothless), and challenges the chief to the holmgang on Hiccup’s behalf (as the aggrieved party)

Hiccup takes the moment to try to push through peace, and gets his chance to take a peace offer to the Christian lords, with the explicit statement from the other chiefs that if they turn it down, they will happily go aviking.

Hiccup gets rebuffed and attacked, and only manages to get away with Snotlout and Hookfang by sheer dumb luck and help from the other dragon riders Meanwhile, the Christians have been learning how to tame dragons, although they’re taking a very different approach than Hiccup’s methods; instead of partners, the dragons are slaves.  With great reluctance, Hiccup starts training en masse Viking dragon riders, musing that there’s no going back after this—the knowledge is out there, or can be redeveloped.  

[thecoroutfitters]

Through the years, I’ve noticed preppers tending to fall into one of two categories, when it comes to self-defense.

The first category is the survivalists who are all about guns and bullets. Their self-defense strategy is to outgun the other guys by having more firepower. The second is into other types of weapons. While they might not be against firearms in general, they don’t want to depend on them for their survival.

I guess you could say that I’m part of both groups. I’m a big fan of guns, carrying concealed and stockpiling enough ammunition to get me through a small war.

But on the other hand, I would rather save my guns and ammo for a last line of defense. When it comes time for survival hunting or just defending myself, I’d rather use something that’s not going to make so much noise and attract so much attention.

So, while I carry concealed and make an effort to get to the shooting range every week, I haven’t limited my arsenal to only firearms. I carry a fighting knife, concealed, right alongside my pistol and I practice regularly with my bow and crossbow. Fortunately, I can do that in my backyard, rather than having to pay for more range time.

I am also constantly on the lookout for other weapons, either to add to my collection now or to make for myself, should the need arise. I believe that the ability to make weapons is an essential survival skill, especially if we are ever faced with a major disaster that takes down the grid or otherwise serves to disrupt society as we know it.

As part of this effort, I’ve made my own bows and arrows, experimenting with several ways of making arrowheads for your survival defense. I’ve also made a number of knives and other handheld weapons. This led me to looking into the idea of throwing spikes.

Click here to get your guide to a layered survival defense!

If you aren’t familiar with throwing spikes, they are a martial arts weapon, originating in the orient. It’s not sure whether they are an outgrowth of throwing knives or of throwing stars, as they are somewhat of a combination of the two.

There are several things that make throwing spikes attractive as a survival weapon. First of all, they are considerably easier to make than either knives or throwing stars, not requiring the fine degree of balance that a throwing knife requires and much easier to shape than a throwing star.

Secondly, a number of them can be carried quite easily, attaching a multi-pocketed sheathe to either the forearm, the belt or a tactical vest. Finally, they are small and lightweight, making it easy to carry a number of them, without them encumbering you.

One thing to keep in mind with throwing spikes, as with throwing knives or throwing stars is that Hollywood aside; you probably won’t instantly kill your opponent with them. These weapons are more disabling weapons, than they are killing weapons. But that’s okay. In a self-defense situation you don’t necessarily need to kill the person, you just need to disable them enough to allow you to escape.

Throwing Spike Design

There is some confusion on the internet over throwing knives, throwing stars and throwing spikes. That’s mostly because there is some overlap between their designs. Suffice it to say that all of them are pointed weapons, intended to be thrown a short range, by hand, in such a way as to stick firmly into the intended victim, causing them harm.

As I mentioned above, what makes throwing spikes attractive as a weapon for survival is the ease of making them.

Unlike a knife, there is no blade to sharpen, just a point. And unlike a throwing star, there is no complex shape to cut out. All you have to do is cut the material to length and sharpen it.

Throwing spikes can be single ended or double-ended. The only real advantage of a double-ended one is that you don’t have to worry about how you grab it. It will work the same with either end hitting. Some people like a tail or tassel on their throwing spike, which helps you to throw it straight; however, these weapons didn’t traditionally have any sort of tail.

The basic throwing spike is about six inches long and from 1/4” to 1/2” in diameter. Thicker spikes are heavier, requiring more strength to throw. At the same time, they have more momentum when they hit, so are likely to do more damage.

Making a throwing spike consists of cutting off the material to length and sharpening one or both ends. Cheap throwing spikes will only have a very short point, less than an inch long.

Ideally, you want that point to be at least two inches long, which allows it to be sharper, increasing the ease of penetration. The thicker the material used, the longer the point will need to be, in order to have the same angle.

Materials You Can Use to Make Throwing Spikes

Ideally, throwing spikes are made of a hardened tool steel. Soft, cold rolled steel, of the type you can buy at your local hardware store, can be used for practice, but you really wouldn’t want to use throwing spikes made out of cold rolled steel as a weapon. The tip would bend or break too easily. You need hardened steel, so that the point doesn’t bend.

This means either buying tool steel rod or using whatever readily available material you can find. One of your limiting factors here is going to be what you have to cut the steel with. The best thing to have is a band saw, with a metal cutting blade. Even if the band saw was not originally designed for cutting metal, it will still work, as long as you have the right kind of blade.

The other thing you’ll need to do, to use any power saw for cutting steel, is to cool the steel with oil. This will help prevent the metal and blade from overheating, which will cause the blade to go dull very quickly.

True metal-cutting band saws have a pump so that they can spray a cooling fluid onto the metal at the point of cut. But if you don’t have one of these, you can do a pretty good job by just spraying oil on the metal and blade every few seconds.

So, what sorts of makeshift materials can you scrounge to make your throwing spikes out of?

Broken screwdrivers

Hardened (grade 5 or 8) bolts

Leaf springs from cars

The rods from old shock absorbers

Engine lifter rods (these are just about perfect)

Metal-cutting files and woodworking rasps

If your tool collection is limited, you may want to stick to materials that are already about the right diameter, such as the engine lifter rods or broken screwdrivers, so that all you have to do is cut them to length and sharpen them.

Making the Throwing Spikes

There really isn’t much to making a throwing spike, as it is one of the simplest weapons there is. The first thing you have to do is cut it to length and the second is sharpen it. That’s it.

I have made knives using both a bench grinder and a bench-mounted belt sander. Of the two, I prefer using the belt sander, as it gives me a broader grind surface. This helps to control the cut better, providing me with a cleaner, non-segmented grind.

When using a bench grinder, there is a tendency to end up with a somewhat segmented surface, unless you are extremely careful and consistent in how you move the material over the grinding wheels.

No matter which you use, chances are that you will generate enough heat in the metal to turn the tip blue. This, or the metal turning red while grinding, indicate that you have lost the temper in the steel. So, once you finish grinding the spikes, you really need to temper them, once again.

Tempering will require a torch or forge, so that you can heat the metal up until it is red hot. Once heated, the metal is then quenched in an oil bath (not a water one). The oil absorbs the heat from the metal at a controlled rate, providing the final temper to it.

Video first seen on The Small Workshop.

Throwing Spikes

Throwing spikes are thrown differently than knives or stars. Typically with knives, you’re looking to flip the knife, spinning it into the target. Depending on the range to your target, you try to have from one to three flips, so that the knife arrives at the target point first.

Learning how to throw by both the blade of the knife and the handle allows you to go for half-flips, giving you more steps in the number of flips between you and the target.

But a throwing spike is thrown flat, not flipped. While this means that you won’t be able to throw it as far as a knife, it also means that you won’t have to worry about ensuring that it arrives point first; it will be point first from the time it leaves your hand.

The trick to throwing flat is the way you hold the spike. Rather than holding it between your thumb and forefinger, you hold your hand flat and allow the spike to sit against the flat of your hand, with your thumb holding it in place and the point about equal with your fingertips. This hold is critical to keeping the spike on a flat trajectory.

The throw itself is made by swinging the arm up, bending the elbow, so that the hand is beside the ear. From there, the hand is moved forcibly towards the target, as if you are trying to point to it. At the moment the arm is fully extended, the thumb releases the spike, allowing it to slide off the hand, directly at the target. Once released, the arm drops to the side in the “follow through” to the throw.

Please note that you will need some practice to get this technique right. It is actually easier to throw a knife by flipping it, than it is to throw a spike flat. But it is easier to get the spike to stick, simply because it will always hit the target point first, once you get the technique down. That is useful when you are in a rapidly changing situation, defending yourself.

This article has been written by Bill White for Survivopedia.

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[angeltriestoblog]

Bullet Journaling 101: My Story, Flipthrough, Tips and Resources

A bullet journal is a system of organization created by Ryder Carroll that “aims to track the past, organize the present and plan for the future”. It’s a diary, journal and planner all in one: an amalgamation of all the facets of a person’s life in a series of different bullet points. Several YouTubers and bloggers have attributed their newfound sense of productivity and success to this and attested that it has helped tremendously in reordering their priorities.

And just like everyone else who seemed tempted by the idea, I’ve been wanting to join the whole movement. In fact, I’ve been watching flipthrough videos since last year, with my “bujo inspo” YouTube playlist amassing a grand total of 109 videos as of press time. I’ve followed a lot of Instagram accounts who’ve made a living out of this practice, and even put a short-lived Pinterest account (for the third time since the ninth grade – I don’t know why it can’t stick with me) in the hopes of gaining inspiration to get started. But, none of those worked in helping my intimidation die down.

I have been exposed to a great number of bullet journal spreads that are so aesthetically pleasing and color-coordinated that they seem almost unrealistic. I lacked the skills and resources required to start. Not enough Tombow brush pens or collaging skills in my arsenal, I thought, which would just lead to a decline in my journal’s appeal. At this juncture, I would like to point out that a bullet journal’s main priority must be functionality. Yes, it can also serve as a great medium for artistic expression but this must not hinder it from serving its true purpose: to get its owner’s life together.

Anyway, dumaldal na naman si Angel. Wala talagang kupas.

If it’s of any interest to you, I use a Leuchtturm 1917 ruled notebook in the color purple, which I got for half its original price at my local National Bookstore. I was initially supposed to go for the dotted version, as it is more popular in the bujo community. Turns out I forgot to check the label before paying for it, and only found out I had bought the wrong version when I had got home. I don’t have any regrets though: I find it easier to write on lined pages, and they don’t really change its effectivity.

I have a black Pilot G-Tec in 0.4mm thickness for writing, as I feel my handwriting looks best when I use this pen. Alongside these are my Dong-A fineliners—which are a great alternative to the much pricier Steadtlers—and my pride and joy, my Stabilo pastel highlighters. I have a black Artline Stix brush pen, which I use for my headings, and a normal pencil for making rough drafts of spreads. I also keep a thin pad of Post-it notes that I replenish weekly on the front page, where I write down any ideas that pop in my head that I’d later on put in its respective spread. I’m trying to keep my set-up as minimal and low-maintenance as possible, but with a pop of color here and there so it won’t end up being too bland and boring.

But contrary to popular belief, there is no fixed set of materials that one must purchase to start a bullet journal. In fact, there doesn’t even need to be any purchasing at all: you can start with something as simple as an old notebook lying around your bedroom floor, and the regular pen that you use for school. Colored markers and washi tapes and any other art supplies are purely optional.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here’s a peek into what’s actually inside my bullet journal:

Key: Consists of a series of symbols that mean to organize entries into different categories. I have tasks—which can be subdivided into those that are complete, have been migrated or scheduled on another date—events and notes, which can be further emphasized by an asterisk that means they are a priority.

About Me: A short page on the side complete with my basic information. I don’t intend on sharing this with anyone else after this post, but I like keeping this as it feels like a standard way of starting a journal.

Index: Serves as a table of contents. It’s incredibly helpful when it comes to locating spreads, but it cannot fulfill its purpose if one is not consistent in supplying the information it needs. I like to jot the page number and a short description of what’s written on it in the index immediately after I fill out another spread so I don’t forget.

Future Log: My next six months at a glance. This is where I write all major activities and events. I’ve considered putting in birthdays of people who are important to me as well, but I feel like they’d take way too much space so I’ll work on assembling a separate spread to keep track of them.

Collections: Just a few pages to jot down some books I need to read, movies to see, posts to write for this blog and places to go. If ever you have any recommendations, you can shoot me a message here on Tumblr or any of my social media accounts.

(Half) Year in Pixels + Habit Tracker: Admittedly my favorite spread so far. Although I did have to make the grids manually because I’m using a lined notebook, I am very satisfied with how this came out. On the far left side, I’ll be tracking my mood by coloring in squares according to how I felt during the day: purple if great, red if good, orange if it was smack dab in the middle, blue if it was an off day and green if terrible.

For the remainder of the spread, I’ll be monitoring my progress in developing five habits of my choice and checking the corresponding box if I was able to do it on that specific day. The ones I’ve chosen to focus on are drinking eight glasses of water a day, eating only one cup of rice for lunch and dinner, not lurking on anyone’s accounts during my free time to avoid counterproductivity, saying only kind words towards others and using social media for only an hour a day.

Monthly Spreads: Pretty self-explanatory. This is the one I’ve made for November 2017, and I feel like this is the layout I’ll be sticking to. On the left-hand page, I have all the days of the month written vertically with an important task or event beside it. You might have noticed that these are the exact same items under my Future Log, and think that the whole practice of bullet journaling can get quite repetitive but I find it better to write the same things over and over again so they stick to my head.

To the right, I have an expenses tracker, where I write everything I’ve bought for the month. I was supposed to add a box to indicate my savings goal, but I’ll get around to that eventually. I also have a sleep tracker, which I will be doing in the form of a line graph, and my five main goals to give me a sense of direction.

Grades Tracker – 3rd Quarter: Where I write down all the marks I’ve gotten in all my subjects. I write down HW for homework, PT for performance task, Q for quiz and SW for seatwork, then my score but I haven’t been able to do the latter yet since none of our class activities have been graded yet. I’m aiming to become at least a Merit Card Awardee by the end of the school year, so this tool will be extremely helpful in ensuring that everything I do is a step in the right direction.

I have a page that shows my class schedule for this semester and two weekly spreads but the former is too private to divulge and the latter is still under construction, so I decided not to include any pictures of them. Besides, I don’t think any of them would be of much interest to you. Do note that this serves mainly as a source of inspiration. Your bullet journal does not have to follow this format. Since it’s highly flexible and customizable, revolves around you, you wants and your needs, you call the shots at the end of the day and are given full authority to change things up to your liking.

If, by any chance, this post has made you consider converting to this system, congratulations. You’re making a great decision, and I can’t wait for you to see your life get whipped back into shape. I’ve only been bullet journaling for two weeks tops, but I can honestly say that I’m never looking back. As mentioned in my previous blog post, it has given me a newfound sense of order in and control over my life, and keeps motivated to do the tasks required of me. Literally my favorite feeling in the world right now is getting to cross out everything I needed to do for the day.

Below are some resources that I found could be helpful for any bullet journal beginner. There’s honestly much more where that came from, and you can always message me for them:

Ryder Carroll’s (the creator of the bullet journaling system) video

The official Bullet Journal website

Boho Berry on YouTube

AmandaRachLee on YouTube

Caitlin’s Corner on YouTube

planningwithkay on YouTube

Mistral Spirit