#also rin phase is coming i can feel it

[earthtooz]

ik ur in ur reo phase BUT HEAR ME OUT EARTH ONLY YOU CAN DO THIS

rin ACCIDENTALLY publicizing ur relationship bec mf got jealous as hell when ur face appeared in the kiss cam IN HIS GAME??????? WITH A RANDOM GUY AND WAS HE FUMING??? YOU AND I KNOW HE WAS THROWIN HANDS

thats all

I'M HEARING YOU OUT. warning for unrealistic scenario, i wrote this in like 20 minutes so it's unedited :p apologies for any mistakes.

imagine being rin's secret partner, the one he keeps behind closed doors because he values you too much to let the invasive eyes of the internet see. he values your relationship too much to let it get tarnished by social media, so he hides any affiliation with you like his life depends on it, only to come home and shower you with the adoration and affection he wishes he could show to the rest of the world.

in the spotlight, he is itoshi rin, japan's prized striker, their golden player, but when he's out of the spotlight, he is your lover. the man who drapes himself over you when things get too rough and he needs a breather. he is yours to cherish, where you have to change your phone wallpaper every other week because there's so many good photos of you two. he is yours to love, he is yours to go to when you feel too lonely, he is yours.

but also imagine, itoshi rin's jealousy and possessiveness no longer being able to rest at bay. it'd been accumulating for the past few weeks, this desire to show you off and boast that it's him who gets to know you like no other.

then the cup overfills, his jealousy tearing him by the seams that he loosely stitched together to withhold this carnal beast resting within him.

all because of a damn kiss cam.

you had been sitting in the vip section of the stadium- where special members are granted tickets, and even though you tell rin that it's fine for you to just sit in the general area, he refuses and tells you that he's bought you the ticket anyway. leaving you with no room for arguments. well. not that there was any to begin with.

anyways, you'd just so happen to sit next to someone who bought vip tickets with no affiliation with any blue lock members. you think he's just a die hard fan, so when he asks you if you like them, you lie and say that you won these tickets at a raffle.

the guy wasn't the most favourable person ever, in fact, you found yourself awkwardly responding to what he was saying, sometimes giving him short and succinct replies because of how... weird... he was. not to be disrespectful but you did not like his vibes. you just hope these 90 minutes can be over quickly.

yeah well, how funny is it that the kiss cam lands on you and the insufferable guy beside you?

you're mortified when you see it on the screen but the person beside you doesn't warrant the same reaction. immediately, he turns to face you, anticipation heavy on his features. in fact, he looks rather... excited...

"no, no, i have a boyfriend, i-" you begin abruptly as he leans in and you have no choice but to helplessly lean back, evading his lips and delaying it as much as you can. you even try rejecting him by frantically waving your hands, panicked and unsure of what to do.

until you hear him.

"back. the. fuck. off!" comes a shout from the pitch; the voice very familiar to your ears that you can't help but instantly relax from hearing it.

your seat was relatively close to the field which meant that those around you could hear the distinct voice of itoshi rin ripping through the air, fury evident and baring its fangs as he all but punches the barrier with each word.

however, everyone in the stadium could see itoshi rin as all cameras pan to him, witnessing his wrath as he shouts from the top of his voice. everyone around you is silent and you don't know whether you want to shrivel up into the ground or run to him and embrace him as tightly as you can. to find sanctuary in his warmth, away from the pushy guy who can't wrap his head around the idea that no means no.

itoshi rin decides for you, effortlessly jumping over the (considerably high???) barrier and making a beeline for you, skipping some stairs. thank goodness for a side seat because he comes to a stop before you, adrenaline still coursing through his veins as he looks at you with heated passion, huffing and puffing.

"rin?" you whisper. he doesn't hear it, looking up at the various stadium screens to see if the kiss cams were still on you. smirking in satisfaction when he realises they are, rin all but pulls you up from your seat and kisses you with so much intensity and fervour that you feel lightheaded. very much so.

the stadium is cheering but you can't focus on it, not when rin's holding you to him so closely, practically trying to meld you to him. not even trying to push him away is enough to snap him out of whatever primal instinct has taken over him, so you grab his face and jerk away from him, not wanting to get too carried away.

before you can utter a word, rin looks behind you, and the coldness in his expression says everything you need to know.

he doesn’t care about dignity at this point. he just needed the world to know that you were his.

"you're dead if you try that again, you lukewarm fuckface," he then turns to you. you shiver from the intensity of his gaze. "i'll kill him next time," he promises before hugging you close to him once again, practically glaring at the cameras. "i'll kill anyone who tries to get to close."

THANK YOU FOR THIS ANON would u believe me if i said i'd been waiting for an opportunity like this? well i'm speaking the truth and i'm so glad u gave me the opportunity i've been waiting for AYEEEEEEE COME BACK ANY TIME YOU ARE SO WELCOME ON THE EARTHTOOZ BLOG, PRETTY <33

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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[verysium]

blu lock top artists on Spotify??? i need your thoughts on it

anon you had me pulling up my spotify playlists and browsing through the entirety of genius.com for three hours straight. i'm going to tweak this prompt a little bit and include specific songs that best represent them since it's easier for me to explain that way.

RIN

the fanon answer for this is chase atlantic. while their songs do encapsulate parts of his personality (mostly the edgy teenager and disillusioned youth persona), i feel like this choice does not do his full character justice.

the canon answer for this is king gnu, more specifically the song "prayer x." i can picture this since rin seems like the type to enjoy alternative rock/indie, but the fact that it's the ending theme to banana fish is what gets to me. like...do you see yourself in ash or something? i hope you don't cus it doesn't end well. that anime had me bawling my eyes out for months, and i still can't think about it without breaking down again.

furthermore, the lyrics and music video to this song are very cryptic and borderline nihilistic. for example, "hiding behind this nonchalant smile" and "my life's spark will wink out of existence." i feel like this speaks volumes about rin's mental health and internal thought process. he obviously does not process his emotions normally and instead represses them. he also struggles with the idea of finding a purpose in what is otherwise a cyclical routine with no end. he's worried and, quite frankly, afraid that if he ever stops pursuing his dream, everything will come crumbling down, and he will have to face all the demons he's avoided for so long. the main theme here is that he cannot face his reality (the fact that sae's dream is not his own.) so he does everything in order to escape this fact even if it ultimately destroys him.

from my own playlists, i'd assign him the following songs/artists:

"beautiful boy" by john lennon

this is a love letter to baby rin. i feel like he would've enjoyed this song as either a lullaby or something he listened to on car rides to the beach during summer vacations. he probably still listens to this when it's raining outside or he's had a bad day. reminds him of his childhood and the good parts of it.

"the love club" by lorde

this is something pre-teen rin listened to. the irony is spot-on, and i feel like the lyrics would be relevant during a time when he was going through his rebellious phase and fully fleshing out his place in society. in this instance, the club would metaphorically be wherever his brother is at, whether that's the guys sae meets in spain or the group of football players considered "top-notch" in japan. everything is about finding a place in this club/clique in an effort to become free and differentiate himself from others. the only problem is that rin ironically loses his freedom because he tries so hard to be among the best. he signs his life away in pursuit of a dream, and it's something that now defines him.

"the only problem i got with the club / is how you're severed from the people / who watched you grow up"

this lyric in particular could apply to either one of the itoshi brothers. it's one of the caveats that comes with fame. you gain everything, but you lose everything before that. both of the itoshis likely experienced some amount of separation from their loved ones, including each other. also lorde's vocals are beautiful as always, so there's no reason not to include this song.

"howlin' 404" by DEAN

the production for this song is on point. the intro has a segment from a 1930s american horror radio program which is fitting because rin canonically watches horror movies. i think this song is something rin might listen to during cold autumns or midnights when he just can't sleep.

lyrically, there is the motif of a time loop which is also present in "prayer x." rin's character itself just has this connection with the raw grittiness of existentialism and this idea of repeating days without purpose. (in fact, he would make a great psychological thriller lead.) rin is also a control freak. if he lets one loose end go, it will unravel the entire thing. that matches up with the idea of "killing me softly." rin would rather prolong his pain than have it ripped from him all at once and leave him with nothing. i find this in a lot of people in real life too. even if your trauma wasn't good for you, it sometimes becomes the only thing you truly own. it's like that one quote from bojack horseman. "if i don't, that means that all the damage i got isn't good damage, it's just damage." rin feels like he has something to prove, and if he fails, all his suffering would've been for nothing.

"moonchild" by RM

i may be a bit biased since i love the mono mixtape, and i've written a rin fic about celestial bodies, but....this song just fits him. there's also a remarkable similarity with the lyrics of the previous songs i've listed. i'm just going to list a few:

"smiling in endless pain / you know / there's no freedom when you say freedom out loud"

one thing i love about RM is that he doesn't shy away from character flaws. he writes songs specifically for those who are always picked last, who aren't remarkable in any way, who feel weighed down by their normality. he gives them their spotlight and due diligence. for example, the entirety of the chorus is a repeat of "moonchild, you shine." i find this interesting since it's usually the sun that shines. but the sun is already sae, and rin is relegated to being the moon. yet even though the moon doesn't have its own light (it merely reflects the sun), it still shines bright in the darkness. rin doesn't know it yet, but he himself is a big role model for others such as isagi, his fans, and people just like him. so yeah....i'd take this song as a message of hope for future rin.

SAE

the fanon answer is lana del rey, and i would agree to a certain extent. under the right circumstances, he could become one of those dreamy, emotionally stunted, and tired men you guys all lust over. if y/n ever wrote a romantic song about him, it would be either "west coast" (for the spanish influences) or "art deco" (for the vibes.)

the headcanon answer is nothing. i don't think he listens to music much. even if he did, it would be probably classical/instrumental or just white noise for his long flights. i imagine him listening to erik satie's "gymnopédie no. 3" on a train ride or something.

from my own playlists, i'm going to give him these songs/artists:

"remind me" by röyksopp

i don't know how to explain this, but this song gives a bittersweet sense of nostalgia. think early 2000s when the TV footage was still grainy and had retro graphics. you're carrying around your mini mp3 player whilst wandering through the airport and wondering how the hell you even ended up there. that's the general ambience of this song.

lyrically, the song also matches well with sae. i'm going to give you a few examples:

"it's only been a week / the rush of being home in rapid fading"

again, this is a tribute to the disconnection sae feels from his home. he goes everywhere, but he belongs nowhere. when he finally returns to japan, he finds himself missing spain. when he's in madrid, he thinks about the ocean back in kamakura. there never is a place that truly fills that gaping hole in his chest. i also feel like sae experiences FOMO on a whole other level. he constantly feels like something is wrong/missing and he's not doing enough.

"brave men tell the truth / the wise man's tools are analogies and puzzles"

the idea here is that though sae is blunt with his words, he is a coward with his intentions/true feelings. he can brutally call out someone without hesitation, but to actually reveal his own truths and motives? he'd rather shrivel up in a hole and die. this is especially applicable to love. to him, a wise man is someone who doesn't open his heart up easily. instead, he hints at his feelings, and whether or not you can figure that out is on you. sae hates it when others play games with him. it's where his hypocrisy lies. he demands straightforward honesty from others, but he himself will unintentionally play games with you if it means he can hide himself behind his walls.

"a woman holds her tongue / knowing silence will speak for her"

this is the closest you guys are ever going to get to sae itoshi's ideal type. he loves people who don't need to say something for him to believe it. they just get it. your silence is automatically enough for him to know that you love him. similarly, you don't even need to speak a word to understand what he's feeling.

"night shift" by lucy dacus

this song is sae if he was that one ex-boyfriend who really fucked you up emotionally, and you never got over him even though you said you did. now that i think about it, the story could be told from either POV. this could be sae trying to erase you from his mind, or it could also be you post-breakup.

"you've got a 9 to 5 / so i'll take the night shift / and i'll never see you again / if i can help it"

i know this one lyric caused controversy all over tiktok, so i'm going to add my own interpretation. at face value, this is exactly what it says it is. sae doesn't want to see you again, nor do you. he's willing to go out of his way just to avoid you, and truthfully he would. when sae finds himself in trouble, he doesn't look for something new to fix him. instead, he cuts everything off and subtracts anything that is deadweight. if you're out of his life, then you're out of his life. he's not coming back for you (or at least that's what he says to convince himself). same thing with rin. he knows he hurt rin, but he's not going to go back and try to make it right. he's going to move on and try to justify his actions every step of the way. one day, rin will move on too, and then sae would have been right all along. (unfortunately, that is not the way things work, but that's a lesson for another time.)

the alternative interpretation is that y/n is the other woman. this could be literal as in sae already has someone else in his life, and he only sees you at night. you're only ever going to be the night shift. it could also be metaphorical as in you're merely a distraction in the grand scheme of things. you're the mistress, but football is his wife if that makes sense. his career will always take precedence.

"you get me so high" by the neighborhood

this song is all the words sae wished he said to rin but never did. it made me cry because everything would have been so different if they had just set aside their pride and truthfully sought each other out.

"hope you don't regret it / i pushed a lot back but i can't forget it"

repressing feelings seems to be a recurring issue with the itoshi brothers. like....maybe if i just push it out of sight, it will also go out of mind. and at its core, this all stems from fear. fear of facing the consequences, the hypotheticals, the terrifying realization that you did something you regret and there really is no turning back from it. but realistically, if you think about it, a lot of this is the byproduct of overthinking. sometimes the situation isn't as complicated as we might make it out to be. sometimes an apology doesn't fix everything, but it's a proposition to be something more, an attempt at a solution. but sae and rin are so blindsided by their own internal turmoil that they cannot see this.

"for a long time i took it all for granted / i really thought we had it / but at the time it was more than i could manage"

ah....the "taking for granted" part. i could ramble on about that for hours. i think it really is some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy that we never miss something until it's gone. and in a way, it's not something that we can always control. the value you assign to a person/object when you have it is going to be fundamentally different from the value you assign to it when it's no longer in your grasp. that's how scarcity works. something with a limited supply is always going to be worth more. the vice versa works as well. you might yearn after something but then throw it away the moment you finally have it and grow tired of it. this sort of dilemma that comes with appreciation is so common i really wouldn't blame the itoshi brothers for what they did. it is immensely difficult to know when you're going to lose something or when you need to let it go. and sometimes it's hard to be constantly grateful for what you have because many of us are wired to want something more. tbh that's what makes the itoshis relatable.

"if we can leave it all behind us / and meet in between"

now sae would never say this unless he himself had actually reflected on what happened and fully processed it. but maybe in the future, they could set aside their differences and reach out to each other. (this is how i cope)

"but i just had to let you know / i never meant to hurt you, though / i had all my motives / i didn't know they wouldn't mix with your emotions / i just had to reach my goals / never knew i'd meet you though"

that's the thing with personal ambition. sometimes you get so caught up in yourself, you forget all about others. and this isn't really selfishness, or at least intentional selfishness. it just sort of happened that way. you never meant to hurt them, but you still somehow did.

"we should stick together / you're my best friend / i'll love you forever"

yeah....this line was the one that did it for me. something about the dysfunctional sibling dynamic just eats away at my insides. like....i could've loved you, we could've been so much together, but why aren't we? what we have isn't hate, but it isn't the love i know and crave either.

"we could be the greatest / it doesn't matter if we're never rich or famous"

ok but if rin ever heard this leave sae's lips, i think all of his trauma would just be magically healed. he just wants his brother to see him. like fully see him and love him. but alas, what is blue lock without angst, am i right?

"love in the dark" by adele

now i don't think sae would ever listen to adele, but the lyrics are just too fitting. i was going to write a fic on this, but it's going to have to ferment a bit in the drafts for now. basically this is the entire rin/sae traumatic scene but as a melodramatic torch song with adele's heavenly vocals.

"take your eyes off of me so i can leave / i'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me"

um...this is literally sae's internal monologue??? i feel like letting go of things is something both the itoshi brothers struggle with. their lives are constantly pulling them in different directions, and eventually they become numb to it all. they don't form any strong attachment to anything besides football because that's the one thing that won't change for them. in a way, this is necessary for their character development (in the sense that they need to discern for themselves what to keep and what to let go), but it also destroys any sense of belonging they might have (hence why they feel lonely.)

"don't try to change my mind / i'm being cruel to be kind"

sae would definitely say this. like word for word. if only he wasn't a vague dumbass with no communication skills.

"i can't love you in the dark / it feels like we're oceans apart"

this is literally their dynamic in one lyric. there is the physical distance, and then there's the emotional distance.

"we're not the only ones, / i don't regret a thing / every word i've said, / you know i'll always mean"

this sort of reminds me when sae said that the world is huge, and there's so many players way better than him out there. i think spain really gave him a reality check, and he grew angry at rin when rin couldn't understand his disillusionment.

"everything changed me / and i don't think you can save me"

adele sort of echoes this softly at the end of the song. i feel like sae would do that too. he wouldn't admit his own insecurities until the very end, and only then does the truth come out.

"i'll sleep when i'm older" by bruno major

this is sae when he's older and fully mature, preferably after he meets you. he finally decides to damn it all and do what he wants.

"conversations with elders and the wisdom they bring ... / the view from an aeroplane at twelve thousand feet"

sae views things that previously annoyed him in a new light. he used to hate his elders, but he visited you and your mother once, and something changed within him. now he calls his parents more often, and his eyes linger on the old couples near the park benches. sometimes, his gaze softens just a bit when he imagines the two of you growing old just like them.

flights used to be a mundane part of his routine, but now he finds himself leaning over your window seat to see the mountains down below. the clouds and sunny weather set him aglow. and you just look so pretty when you fall asleep on his shoulder. he doesn't ever want this change.

"meet god on a mountain top along with the stars / find love somewhere, anywhere / fall deep from the start"

sae used to avoid love, but now he's running at it full-force. people tend to shy away from making sae a romantic because it seems too ooc. however, in the right situation, i think sae could entirely abandon his previous ideals and become someone else entirely. (that's why it's called a character evolution guys.)

"misplace my mind and follow my heart"

again, if you're able to make sae lose all rationality and let his heart guide him instead, then you've really done something. kudos to you for penetrating the walls of the coldest asshole known to mankind.

"i'll be a firework, not a flickering flame / treat life all around me like a one-player game"

this one lyric applies both to younger and older sae. younger sae is someone unafraid of risking it all if it means he can achieve something worthwhile. it doesn't matter how many players he has to defeat, how many people he has to leave behind. in this world, it is just him and the goal he has to accomplish.

however, after he's mellowed out after a few years (i'd say around middle age), he probably reinterprets this as something else. he's not going to constrain himself to his tunnel vision anymore. there's so much more to life than that.

"i'll go to the party and forget all the names / should it climb back to haunt me, / it ends all the same"

sae finally lets himself live the life he never thought he'd have. he does stupid things like get drunk and make a fool of himself. but you're there for him, so he doesn't really care. in fact, he can finally say that for the first time in a long time....he's having fun.

KAISER

the fanon answer is the weeknd. i'm not going to lie, i completely agree with this one. i saw this one edit of him to "party monster," and i can say i have been fully enlightened and converted. however, this is not just about a toxic male manipulator anthem. it's much more than that.

this is about running away from the ugliest parts of yourself, becoming a slave to your vices, knowing you're broken somewhere and you can never fix it. i would say his character is most similar to "starboy" in the fact that he literally flaunts everything he has to hide the fact that deep down inside, he really has nothing else to hold onto. "starboy" is all about the status symbol (money, red lamborghinis, glass table girls turning into ebony table girls lol). but at the end of the day, he doesn't really have anything except an empty heart and a satirical quip for all those who made him famous. the same theme applies to "the morning" and "house of balloons."

in the romantic sense, i think "don't break my heart" would represent kaiser. and no, this is not a justification for him being an f-boy. it's more so an exploration of why people might think he is an f-boy. i do not condone his actions, but i do try to understand them. in particular, i feel like the lyrics of "sacrifice" also fit him well.

"i was born in a city / where the winter nights don't ever sleep / so this life's always with me / the ice inside my veins will never bleed"

i headcanon kaiser as being born in either berlin or munich. and if you don't know anything about those two places, just know that you freeze your ass off during wintertime. i think it's interesting how his past could be intrinsically tied with a place, and he takes a piece of his past self with him wherever he goes. the ice in veins part also made me think about how kaiser would rather freeze up every weakness within himself than let them run free and make him human.

"every time you try to fix me / i know you'll never find that missing piece"

guys...did you hear that? to all you delusional people out there, this is your service announcement. you cannot fix someone who does not want to be fixed. write that down and memorize it. all meaningful change starts with a shift in mindset, and if they themselves are not in the right headspace to recognize that something is wrong and actively want to change, you're not going to get anywhere. so yeah....kaiser is not going to change unless HE starts doing the changing.

"i hold you through the toughest parts / when you feel like it's the end / 'cause life is still worth living"

i think this lyric sort of explores kaiser's dynamic with ness. on one front, he is the one picking ness up from his miserable past and instilling a sense of hope into him (intentionally or not.) but on another front, this could also be a problem. kaiser is almost forcefully optimistic in the way that he believes anything is possible. it has to be possible because there can be no other way. but the thing is.....you have to know your limits sometimes. blind optimism is, ironically, similar to cornering yourself.

"i can break you down and pick you up / and fuck like we are friends / but don't be catching feelings"

this is definitely the type of bullshit kaiser would spew. i could picture a fwb or situationship with him where y/n just constantly receives the short end of the stick. now this may be reaching, but i also feel like this is how kaiser projects his own trauma onto others. he himself clawed his way up to the top and put himself back together every time he fell down. the problem is that he also expects you to be that resilient. he's going to treat you badly because you're supposed to be like him: someone who can overcome everything and strive towards the impossible.

the headcanon answer to his top artist would be keshi. in particular, i think kaiser would fit the vibe of "2 soon" and "drunk." long story short, you finally broke up with him, and he's still reeling from the impact.

within my fics, i envision a dialogue between kaiser and y/n from each one of their perspectives. so based on that, i'm going to assign him the following songs/artists:

"gibson girl" by ethel cain

i know i said earlier that kaiser's character is not solely about toxic manipulation, but you have to understand that all bad habits originate from somewhere. kaiser is innately self-destructive, and he brings you down along with him. this song is about that but from y/n's perspective. there's this idea of trying to find agency in a situation where you have none. i don't have the word count to explain ethel cain lore in all of its naked glory, but all i can say is that this song is a banger and deals with themes like femininity as a performance, finding power in pain, religious motifs, etc.

"glory box" by portishead

this song is y/n's last plea to kaiser before they fully give up on him and leave. i'm also a sucker for anything that involves an exploration of gender dynamics and what it means to be a woman, and this song is riddled with it.

"suffocation" by crystal castles

this is kaiser post-isagi defeat (cue that one scene where he was trying to choke himself.) similar to sae, it's all or nothing with him. he suffers from this feeling of inferiority. everyone made him out to be this great figure of impossible dreams and legends, but look at him now. he's nothing. aren't you disappointed? he had you fooled, but he also fooled himself. so yeah....kaiser is definitely the most self-deprecating out of all of the boys at blue lock.

ISAGI

the fanon answer is laufey, and i also agree. he's so sweet, and laufey's music just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. he would also be that one love that came creeping up on you when you least expected it. "valentine" would be the song for that. i picture a reader who's had a series of unfortunate breakups and is right on the edge of giving up entirely. but then isagi comes along, and it's just so easy to love him. as easy as breathing. and then you think maybe it wasn't so bad after all. you just never found the right one until he came into your life. furthermore, isagi is a jazz pop princess, and you can't convince me otherwise.

the headcanon answer is IU. more specifically, i would say "troll" from her lilac album. i feel like even if you and isagi broke up, it would still be like you two never broke up at all. you're both on good terms, and even though you know it's counterproductive to keep cycling back to each other, you do it anyways. and it's okay because you're both still in love.

from my own playlists, i would assign the following songs/artists:

"winter bear" by v

this is my comfort song. it feels like those big sherpa blankets you tuck yourself under when you're lying next to the heater in winter. isagi would kiss your forehead and nuzzle your nose before you two drifted off to sleep.

"a boy named pluto" by hailey knox

this one is so romantic lol. i also like the dynamic where one party is afraid to love, but the other person loves them unconditionally. that would be isagi. he'd respect your decision and wait for you as long as you need it. but if you're ever ready to give him a chance, just know that he's going to treasure all of you.

"put your records on" by ritt momney

the inspiring thing about isagi is that he never lets anyone put him down. he takes rejection as redirection, failure as room for improvement. and in that way, i think this song encapsulates his resilience. he'd be such a good boyfriend not just romantically but in the way that he would literally pick you back up to your feet, dust you off, and make sure everything was alright.

"fairy of shampoo" by dosii

i picture isagi as someone who falls first and falls harder. he just loves you so much, and he doesn't even need a reason why. i saw somewhere that sometimes you don't love someone because they're your soulmate/twin flame/supernaturally fated other. you love them because you consciously made the decision to. isagi is like that. he loves you on purpose.

helppp why does this sound like an academic paper...i'm sorry anon. i got carried away with this, but i hope u like it.

[mavrintarou]

[3:45PM] Suna Rintarou (prequel of DD) [3]

I started a part-time job so my writing and posting will slow down tremendously. Hopefully, I'll get inspired lol. If you are new, this is the 3 part, please go back and read the initial post, and prequel - parts 1, and 2. You can find those chapters here

Warning: none, angst/hurt & leading to comfort Note: There is a time jump, hopefully, I don't confuse you guys

Prequel (part 2)

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Rin realized he found himself watching Y/n sleep more often than usual. He never understood romantic films where the man watches the girl sleep, often thinking how creepy they were.

He didn’t care that at the moment he was doing the same thing, watching Y/n sleep like a little creeper. All that mattered to him was seeing Y/n asleep beside him safe and sound.

Rin still could not believe the wild roller coaster he and about 300 other passengers went through less than 72 hours ago.

It was one thing to be surprised to discover that Y/n was the pilot of the plane he was flying to Thailand for a tournament.

Four months ago, he would have waved at her like a hopeless romance and shown everyone they were lovers.

But it has been four months since Rintarou broke everything off with Y/n.

Everything has been a mess since that day and nothing was going right.

With each ticking second his conscience questions whether he made the right decision. Was it impulsive or was he right?

All he wanted was to make them official, he wanted the right to call her his girlfriend and show her off. He also wanted her to take him home to her place.

He wanted a home with her.

But he got the sense she didn’t want to share much of her life with him. 

He began questioning her about when she would cancel plans or tell him she would no longer be coming home that day and be gone for days on end without communication.

He respected her busy career and work schedule, but he couldn’t help but feel left out of her life.

They had been seeing each other for almost four months, he was ready for the next phase and thought they were both on the same page.

When he initiated and asked her to be his girlfriend, she did not consider his request, immediately turning him down.

“I’m sorry… I can’t… I thought you understood, Rin?”

Like a light switch, anger consumed him. He threw the comforters off and stalked naked around his room to search for his boxers. “Understood?” he mimicked her tone, he wiped towards her with hurt and pain written on his face. “What is there to understand when you don’t tell me anything?”

“What do you mean? I tell you when I’m done with work, I make time on my off days to meet with you. What is it, Rin? What is it that you want?” Y/n kept her voice leveled, not wanting to meet his energy.

“I want you!” he shouted, throwing his hands up, “I want you to be mine, Y/n.” He inhaled sharply, “I want everything there is out there to want. I want to know where you are at all times because I can’t help but be anxious you might be with someone else when you are not with me. I want to know what you are thinking about and if I even cross your mind at all because you are always on mine. I want to tell every damn hot-blooded male out there you are mine, fuck – even the women too because you’re fucken amazing.” His breath shook as he slowly took a deep breath. “I want to not have this terrible feeling that I’m not good enough for you…” he choked, “I feel like I’m being childish, wanting you to only look my way, wanting you to only want me… want you in every way possible. But I feel like it’s one-sided…”

He felt foolish pouring out his childish feelings. He couldn’t even look at her at this point.

To make matters worse, Y/n hadn’t spoken a word. She had not attempted at all to assure him that she too wanted him.

“I think we should end this, it is obvious you do not feel the same way for me,” he muttered, “please see your way out.” He turned his heels and headed straight to his bathroom.

When he came out after a hot bath almost an hour later, she was gone, every trace of her gone.

He stared out the air plane window, zoning out until something was held in front of him, a paper bag.

“Our captain has asked me to deliver this to you.” The young flight attendants informed with a smile.

Rin accepted it and opened the bag.

It was snacks he and Y/n enjoyed eating together. At the bottom of the bag was a piece of paper inside.

I hope you have been well.

He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He missed her dearly.

Reaching for his bag, he began searching for stuff he could give back to Y/n. “Excuse me,” he called the flight attendant, “do you have pen and paper?” She returned with the items he requested.

As he was about to signal the flight attendant again, the plane suddenly jerked and trembled violently before it suddenly veering sharply to the left, causing standing passengers to lose their balance.

Y/n’s voice came over the intercom with a vague announcement, immediately ordering all passengers to fasten their seatbelts.

Rin could not mistake the uneasiness in her tone and nor did he miss the looks on the flight attendants' faces as they quickly shuffled around, making sure all passengers followed the announcement.  

Quickly fastening his seatbelt, unknowingly holding his breath.

Talk to me Y/n, Rin silently prayed to himself.

No one could have anticipated encountering a situation typically happening only in films. The lights inside the plane started flickering, and the aircraft continued to sway as if struggling to remain airborne. This prompts passengers to demand an explanation.

Rin looked down at his watch and began counting.

It was the longest five minutes of his life before he heard Y/n’s voice.

“This is your pilot Y/n, we will be making an emergency landing shortly here in Singapore, please remain seated and keep your seat belt fastened until further notice.”

Thirty minutes later, the plane landed on the tarmac and moved towards the many flashing vehicles.

At last, an announcement was made, except this time it was not Y/n’s voice. “This is your co-captain speaking, I sincerely apologize for the sudden change and inconvenience. There has been an emergency medical situation and I ask everyone to please remain seated until further notice. Another announcement will be made as soon as you can exit the aircraft, there will be gate agents ready to assist and get you on the next flight to Thailand.”

Outside of the aircraft ambulances and other medical services were waiting outside.

Rin’s eyes widen as he catches a glimpse of Y/n rushing alongside the stretcher that is being hauled into an ambulance.

.

Rin and his team boarded the next flight to Thailand. His mind remained clouded and hazy as he awaited Y/n’s text response, any response from her. During the game, he found himself sidelined for most of it, as his coached noticed his lack of mental focus. The moment EJP Raijin was declared champions, Rin rushed to the locker room to check his phone.

He has never been so relieved to see her name on his screen.

I’m in Thailand at XXX Hotel. Dinner?

.

“Usually, on long flights lasting 6 hours or more, there are three pilots, but this time, there were four due to the larger aircraft. It was my co-pilot’s and my turn to swap and rest. Thirty minutes after falling asleep, I heard him call my name, gasping that he was experiencing chest pains,” Y/n recounted, rubbing her face with her hand as she relived the moment. “He was having a cardiac arrest,” Y/n pushed the food on her plate around, not having much of an appetite. She described how she administered CPR to her colleague while simultaneously giving commands to the other pilot to request an emergency landing. “An as if that wasn’t challenging enough, we flew into a flock of birds that caused one of our engines to blow out,” Y/n explained, her expression reflecting extreme fatigue as she recount the situation on the plane. “The plane got out of control so I had to quickly switch and gain control in the air until we landed in Singapore.” She smiled tiredly at Rin, “he’s okay if you’re wondering.”

“That’s good, but are you okay?” Rin cared more for her well-being than the others. He too lost his appetite, pushing his food around. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m just… exhausted. It’s been a long four months…” she tightened her fingers around his. “Long four months of training and… without you.”

Rin could only maintain eye contact with her in silence before softly inquiring, “what are you trying to say…?”

“I’m saying that I have missed you, Rintarou. I have missed you every single day,” Y/n answered earnestly.

A deep sigh escaped from his lips, as though he had been holding it in for quite some time before they curved into a smile. “I missed you too,” he admitted.

.

In the brief period he’s known her, she has consistently been a sound sleeper, likely due to her hectic work routine.

But at this moment, he could tell she was deeply asleep as she didn’t stir when he shifted himself so he could hold her. His heart rate eased as she nestled closer into his warmth. The tip of her nose pressed lightly against his nipple, erecting his nub as she unconsciously rubbed against it.

He hist softly, cursing silently in his head. Counting backward from one hundred, he distracts his mind with other thoughts to distract himself.

He found it hard to grasp the reality of her presence beside him. After dinner, there was no way he was going to part from her.

He held on to the end of her shirt like a lost puppy, “stay with me.”

Y/n reached for his hand, holding it tightly, “I’m so tired, I’m ready to fall asleep on my feet.”

“Your place or mine, I don’t care, your call.” Rin stepped closer and cupped her cheek, “I just want to be wherever you are.”

They came back to hers. Rin noticed her small luggage and a handful of her belongings spread out on the desk.

Y/n began stripping her clothes off, leaving only her panties and sports bra on. Rin could feel his face heat up as he turned away.

“I’m just getting comfortable, don’t worry I won’t take advantage of you,” she teased, slipping into the bed. “Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to get in?”

He stripped down to his boxers briefs and slipped in, he might as well get comfortable with her too.

“Are you afraid I’ll bite you? Why are you so far away from me? Are you lying about missing me?”

Y/n was tugged into Rin’s arm as they tightly locked around her. “I would lie about many things but missing you isn’t one of them.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, “sleep, you can barely keep your eyes open.”

“Rin.”

He hummed watching her close her eyes before she whispered, “I like you.”

Minutes later, her breathing steadied, and she relaxed in his embrace. Rin couldn’t pinpoint when he started noticing the small intricacies about her. Like the tiny beauty mark at the outer corner of her left eye, or how her green eyes occasionally shifted to yellow in the sunlight. He observed how her eyes crinkled when she smiled widely and how she would quickly use a hand to cover her smile. He longed to reach out and smooth the wrinkles on her forehead when she was deeply focused on something.

He found himself missing her every second of the day whenever she wasn’t by his side, and every little thing seemed to remind him of her. Whether it was spotting someone with the same shade of green eyes or hearing or seeing an airplane in the sky, thoughts of Y/n would flood his mind.

Every little thing about Y/n came down to one thing, he was hopelessly in love with her.

.

For the past five minutes, Y/n had been observing the man sleeping beside her. She couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes and how he seemed to have lost weight, his cheeks appearing sunken.

She had noticed her weight loss and general disinterest since their fallout, believing she was the only one suffering. As her fingers lightly brushed his bangs aside, she pondered whether he, too, might have been enduring similar struggles.

After she left his place that day, regret weighed heavily in her heart ever since. She has never felt rejected and hurt as much as Rin telling her to leave his place.

She distracted herself with work, taking on additional shifts until one day she was greeted by someone she least expected, her old boss, the Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Specialty Force.

“We need you to come back,” was the first thing he said. “We have a project and you are the only one who can lead it and carry it out.”

Pursuing aviation had always been Y/n’s passion and dream, so joining the military straight out of school seemed like the optimal choice for her. In a sense, she was achieving two goals at once: pursuing her passion while also upholding the long-standing family tradition of military service spanning decades.  

A year ago, she would have eagerly accepted the mission, always eager for a fresh challenge. But now, she found herself struggling to find her voice. Accepting the mission meant being away for an extended period – ranging from at least six months to two years or more.

Y/n couldn’t understand why she was hesitating.

A part of her was her pride.

She is reminded of a painful past incident that had her dismissed with an uncharacterized discharge. After she returned to the civilian world, she was pulled into commercial aviation to maintain a part of her passion.

But that wasn’t it either.

At last, Rin’s face came to her mind.

Everything has changed since she met Rin.  

He was only meant to be a distraction. Their relationship was never meant to have gone this far or deep.

She wasn’t supposed to care for him, let alone, formed a bond with him.

Her time in the military and her specialized field compelled her to prioritize her duty over settling down, understanding that investing in something that might only lead to heartbreak was not in her best interest. Even in her current time, she was always on the go, never settling in one spot for long, she was convinced a relationship wouldn’t survive if one partner was always gone.

This is why she steered clear of committing to a relationship or remaining attached to someone for an extended duration.

Y/n had refused to acknowledge her feelings for Rintarou. She viewed their interactions as mere entertainment whenever she was back at home. She enjoyed his pursuit and the undivided attention he gave her. She has never had anyone give her as much attention as Rin had. At first, she believed it was because he was younger than her and was infatuated with the thought of chasing and finding interest in an older woman.

However, as they spent more time together, the hours slipping by unnoticed, she gradually found herself caving into him, basking in the warmth of his arms and feeling her heart beat in sync with his.

She had never yearned for someone’s company as intensely as she did for his. Simply being in his presence was sufficient to make her feel at ease and rejuvenate. He filled a void in her life that she hadn’t realized existed.

Her heart and mind started yearning for every detail about him. In a crowded place, she’d catch a glimpse of men similar in height, instantly reminded of him. The sight of the color yellow would remind her of his eyes that glowed whenever they locked with hers. She began following his volleyball team to stay on top of updates about him and his professional life.

She thought she was the only one who was feeling these aftereffects.

Therefore, it was a hasty choice on her part to accept the mission, driven by the desire to distract herself from him and put physical distance between them.

She was simply a coward who was hopelessly in love with him.

. . .

E/n: I'm happy to explain anything you might be confused about, or hopefully my next part will explain/answer it.

>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[weepinwriter]

ZHENYA ‘PSIKH’ BOGDANOV

(pardon the terrible lighting 😔)

Codename : Nyx, named after the primordial greek goddess of the night (yeah it's a feminine name, but does Zhenya give a damn? Hell no)

Nickname : His friends and family members know him simply as Zhen, otherwise in the underworld he is better known as Psikh Bogdanov, or the madman as some prefer to call him for simplicity

[ 20 || 6'1" || cis-male || demisexual || in a relationship with Ash and Rin ]

Appearance : Short midnight black hair, and emerald green eyes

His stats

(dudes here ready to go full on doomslayer on his enemies)

Some facts about him:

~ He likes smoking, and that too the best quality cigars

~ As a child Zhenya wanted to be a writer, maybe even a journalist. He liked journaling his days as a kid, writing small stories and frequently narrating details of his day with his father, uncle and Ash before the incident with his dad, following which he discontinued writing indefinitely. He never touched his little journal after that.

~ Once had a bucket list containing all the things he wanted to do as a kid. These included bungee jumping, going to the seven wonders of the world and hell, even riding an ostrich (overall he just wanted to do every crazy thing one can possibly do). One of the wishes in this list included going to Disneyland with his dad. Unfortunately it never happened and he refused to ever go there

~ is very fond of daffodils. Ash regularly buys daffodils to be put in a vase in the middle of the room where he can see them

~ he is very fond of Donna tartt's books, especially the secret history

~ during his (cringe) puberty phase, when emotions and hormones run high and teenagers become the biggest menaces alive, Zhenya had the misfortune of stumbling upon Twilight. Following that fateful encounter he became a hardcore Twilight fan, especially as a firm member Team Jacob. He even went as far as to get a wolf tattoo and got his ears pierced as a form of his teenage rebellion. Thankfully he got over his cringe phase quickly, and now everytime he thinks about it he can't help but feel embarrassed to the core. (I can say this with a guarantee that Rin tries to pull his leg every once in a while by mentioning his horrific past, just for the sake of seeing Zhenya blush furiously.)

~ also likes reading books and historical research papers on medieval punishments and torture methods, for science ofcourse he says

~ is a pretty decent cook

~ although he can only cook dishes related to chicken, Zhenya is experienced enough to debone a raw chicken blindfolded holding some of the sharpest knives ever. The countless scars on his hands and arms are a testament of his perseverance. Apparently he's ‘practising’...

~ “a balanced diet is very important.” also him, proceeds to carefully remove all the peas from his food

~ has never lost a single match of rock-paper-scissors, even against Rin. However, one cannot say the same for his terrible luck and history with UNO. My guy here can get almost all the power cards at the beginning of the game, yet somehow always manages to lose them all and be defeated brutally. It has come to the point some believe he's intentionally losing, he's not.

~ likes watching and listening to true crime podcasts

~ Zhenya has a very bad habit of smiling whenever he's lying, making it impossible for anyone to figure out when he's lying or not (except those close to him who can see the discrepancies between his real and fake smiles)

~ can hold his liquor very well. The most he can go with, is 23 shots, which is his highest record so far, until he eventually passes and wakes up to the absolute worst hangover of his life

~ will call you a moron if you were to ask him the classic “would you still love me if I was a worm?” but still answer with a yes

~ sorry no Pixie cameo this time 😔, on another note, Zhenya actually adopted Pixie from the streets when he accidentally stepped on her on his way home. Feeling guilty he brought her home and the kitten that was barely a month old became a part of his small family. Now refuses to let anyone even touch her without his permission, talk about being overprotective

MIKHAIL 'MICKI' VICTOROVICH LANG

(this is @headdaze's MC, btw all comments are made by them-)

Codename : Tisiphone (he’d probably get a kick out of the nicknames he could make– like he picks up the phone and goes “hello? This is tisiphone answeirng the phone at avengers speed-” OR EVEN BETTER “hello? Tis me, tisiphone–”)

Nickname : His close ones simply call him, Angel, meanwhile the rest just go along with Micki

[ 20 || 5'5" || agender, he/they || demisexual || working on getting Ash, will work on Rin (when they meet each other as adults which they haven’t yet LOLOLOL)]

Appearance : Slightly long brown hair, with grayish, green blue eyes

Some facts about them

~ after destroying a microwave, ruining a meal, burning a few items, and other travesties, micki resigned himself to simple dishes… no five star courses (later on Zhenya takes it upon himself to cook for Mikhail, after keeping him 6feet away from the kitchen ofcourse)

~ loves nothing more than a good book and as such gets heavily irritated when something good disappoints them

~ very pro-healthy food but still eats unhealthy

~ vision is ABSOLUTE SHIT, wears either ridiculously thick glasses or contacts

~ usually sweet but can have a scary side too (people like to call him the wolf in sheep’s clothing)

~ his dream is to go around the world, eat the things he wants, and buy the things he wants without feeling guilty about spending money

~ a MASSIVE penny pincher

~ “ZHEN CAN YOU PLEASE STOP RUINIG YOUR LUNGS WITH THOSE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL CIGARS” “No.”

~ comfy > fashion, the man is not going to strut outside on a winter day in an outfit even if he looks good in it because if it gets him a cold it is GAME OVER

~ literally cannot stay up for the life of them, alwAYS gets irritable when sleepy so prefers to get their hours of sleep in

(why is a majority of this basically just me)

IF : VENDETTA BY @vendetta-if

[krnsluvvie]

2:07am, itoshi rin

it's ungodly hours in the morning and you can't stop thinking about your lovely boyfriend rin. this is how you met:

Itoshi Rin is blunt, stoic and there’s nothing but football on his mind. There is not a day without him coming up with techniques, trying out methods just to become the best in the whole world. After all, it’s all he knows. 

Itoshi Rin is also a perfectionist and an academic genius. He studies hard while maintaining his physique and he hates when people make grammatical errors. One sunny day, he starts feeling weird around your presence. He’s never felt like this before and you’ve always been around him—ever since you two were just kids. So why now? Why does he feel so restless when you contact everyone but him in your friend group? Why does his heart twist in the worst ways possible upon imagining you doing things without him?

It doesn’t feel right. 

As you both grow up into adults, he realizes that all this time it was interest he had been harboring for you. He could imagine spending the rest of his life with you and he wouldn’t mind thinking about you instead of what next football matches he will have to attend and train for. During outings, he will always sit next to you, and if he’s feeling bold, he might even let his hand near you and accidentally brush against yours in an inexplicably soft manner. 

It feels weird, but it sets his mind at peace knowing you might feel the same—if the blush coloring your cheeks is anything to go by. This encourages him to do more and before you know it, he’s in the rain, running after you, apologies spilling from his mouth as he grabs you by the arm and inches closer to you. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, tears running down his beautiful face. You feel bad but your eyes couldn’t have deceived you. Itoshi Rin, giving you all the attention in the world, implying more than what you two had been, smiling at you ever so often, stealing glances behind your friends’ backs just to end up in someone’s embrace, touching them in the ways you wish it had been you instead of who he was touching. You couldn’t be even mad for you two weren’t even in a relationship.

But it hurt. 

It hurt seeing him being so intimate with someone else who was not you. “Please, I promise, I can explain. Just,” he huffs out, breathless. “Listen to me? Please.” He’s begging at this point and it breaks your heart seeing him so hopeless and so devastated. The rain’s getting heavier and you pull him towards yourself, your clothes getting wet from absorbing all moisture from Rin’s clothes from how hard you were pressing him into you. It wasn’t a hug; you were holding onto him as a lifeline—as if he’d disappear if you didn't do it. “I will.” you whisper. “Just, let’s stay like this.” 

He acquiesces.

 And you both are stood there, under the roof with nothing but each other to hold onto. Rin later explains himself saying he tried to get closer to his friend, thinking maybe whatever he was feeling towards you was just a “phase”, “a part of him growing up”. All was proven wrong when he saw the devastated look on your face as you rushed from his room onto the street into the pouring rain. 

What he was thinking throughout the whole time was to catch up to you, hold you in his arms and kiss you for eternity. You broke down hearing this because this was such a big change from when he was younger. 

He was blunt, immature and too absorbed in football. At some point it felt like he was going to marry it and live for football alone. It was getting a bit concerning. Rin, upon your statement, grabbed your chin and gently guided you towards him, silently asking if it was okay to proceed to a new stage. 

You nodded and let out a sigh of relief. 

A moment followed before a pair of not-so-soft lips touched yours in a not-so-like-Rin manner that you deemed it imaginary. His lips were chapped from how often he was training outside, probably not taking care of himself as he should have. You grabbed onto his face, leaning more into him as you tried to kiss the hell out of him. You both pulled away and he smiled at you, lips red.

“I assume we can make it official?” 

There’s an uncharacteristic grin on his face as he asked. You lightly punched him into his arm as you licked over your lips, tasting him on it. “Yeah,” you let out, breathless as you dropped on the bed. “I can’t believe it.” His hand found its way into your hair strands and you relaxed into him massaging your head. “Let’s make the most of it.” 

Years later, you’re still going strong. Rin has changed drastically throughout the years. When it comes to you, at least. He’s still blunt, at times even rude but that’s how he always was—it seemed to run in the family. Whenever someone got close to you, he’d send them a glare. He wasn’t in any way over-possessive; he just liked to remind others who was available and who was not. You’re his and he’s yours. 

When you’re both alone, however, he’s the sweetest. You didn’t expect this at all when you started dating. He’d initiate kisses and even more, and at times you couldn’t even keep up, but it made you feel so good you had to do it for the sake of him and his efforts, endeavors. 

He could be such a sweetheart sometimes that it even baffled you to think this in the first place. But hey, you love him and he loves you. Even if there was a misunderstanding, the first thing you’d do is go to the other and talk it out—despite you both’s busy schedules. 

“I love you,” he drops the bomb before you can even register it. Tears fall down your cheeks as a weak smile appears on your lips; you're trembling. Sniffing, you say, “I love you, too, gosh, Rin, I love you so much.” You're running into his arms. 

As they encircle around you, in that moment you can't be more sure. 

This.

This is your home.

[thatanimewriter]

RESPECTFULLY, MARRY ME.

➳ request: Wow, got back into my koroshitsuju phase 👁👁💧 Mey-rin x gn reader Reader is usually this flirty person, and they're also exceptionally sweet, especially with Mey-rin. Since she's clumsy and cute with her glasses on. But one day, she's forced to take off her glasses. Obviously she changes and reader just *overload* *gay panic* wuh- hhh- who are you- hhh- Oh my, it's her turn to flirt back 👀 Teehee they're so cute together.

➳ character/s: mey-rin

➳ warnings: swearing, murder, guns, knives, blood, spoilers for book of circus, pet names (my darling, baby)

➳ notes: a classic case of the glasses phenomenon. take them off and suddenly you're hot.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  

── 𝐌𝐄𝐘-𝐑𝐈𝐍.

you done goofed

you're gonna pass out from whiplash

as a chef in the phantomhive manor (that keeps bard in line), you're used to your girlfriend being a bit of a klutz

you're not sure if you've ever even seen her without the glasses

now, usually you're the one saying corny pick up lines and being super flirty

giving her desserts n saying they're as sweet as she is and all that shit

so when ciel and sebastian leave to investigate this travelling circus, you're all preparing for an ambush by the circus

and while you guys are setting up things, you hear a new voice behind you

"evening, my darling, do you mind moving? i need to get something."

followed by gentle hands resting on your waist as you're being moved to the side

windows.exe has stopped working

you can feel your face heat up and you're sure you could fry an egg on your cheeks no problem

while you're starting to come down to earth, the voice returns

"thank you, baby. when this is all over, i'll reward you, hm?"

you turned to look at her in shock as you try to register both the drastically deeper voice and the defined features of her face without the glasses

you've also never seen her in action before, so that's another challenge to overcome

you knew she was cute, but since when was she so hot???

normally, you'd say murder was a bit of a deal breaker

but you'd make an exception for her if THIS is what she looks like without the glasses and in business mode

your little combat knives feel very pathetic compared to her rooftops lined with rifles ._.

when everyone has been dealt with, here she comes

AGAIN

with a gentle hand on your waist and a look in her eyes that you don't think you've ever seen before

it might just be the glasses now that you think about it

"you've got blood on your face, want me to help clean you up?"

IT'S A BASIC QUESTION WHY ARE YOU GETTING FLUSTERED

"uhhh- yeah, sure..."

mey-rin will have to make a note that you like this side of her

perhaps she'll tease you more often

[vendetta-if]

I feel reluctant to flirt with Skylar/Santana because usually you only get two options, which is bold and shy, where as with Ash and Rin, you can go bold or shy, but you also have the option to be a bit more tame/genuine with the bold or shy responses.

Like, I know MC/PC has known the latter longer than the former, but sometimes I like the option to just say, for example, "nice outfit, it looks good on you" and not make it feel like it's coming off as being smug.

Yup, I’m aware. If you notice, I actually include those more “tempered” romance options for Rin and Ash in Chapter 2 and I’d love to do that with Skylar and Santana too.

But, I realize when I wrote those options, it just took way too much time right now. There was one time I spent my whole night writing session just writing out the 7 to 9 different conversation options and variations for Ash alone in Chapter 2 (half of which are the romance ones)! Same thing with Rin in the party.

I know that I’ll have to save those options for later on and I’ll add them during editing phase. If not, it’d take too much time and would probably drive me crazy 😭

So, for now, there’ll only be the really shy or really confident/flirty options (plus clueless for Ash and Tsundere for Skylar) for all ROs.

[pyropsychiccollector]

Shiro Harem: Holy Grail War... of Love 2/7

As you guys know, the poll ended up being a 3-way tie... Technically. Although, based off the accidental "first" poll where Artoria had more votes tying her with Sakura... I'm gonna be generous and throw the King of Knights in here as an "unofficial" winner. It's the only poll that changed drastically enough, and I feel bad for flubbing up the first time. XD

... So, uh. Yeah. I'll be writing up 4 posts before posting anything. Be sure to cycle through my posts to find your favorite girl(s)... The official winners are Rin, Sakura, and Luvia. I'll be getting to Mitsuzuri, Illya, and Reines later. XD

The Beginning

Let's just jump into #2 now~... (人◕ω◕) Sakura-chan is... She's an interesting one. I like her supportive dynamic with Shiro, but for my own peace of mind I'm tweaking things... Mostly for Sakura's sake, but a bit for Shiro's sake as well.

But first, the disclaimer:

Fate: Stay Night is all about branching timelines. As such, to cater to all seven members of this harem in a single worldline, we'll be looking at an AU separate from the canon ones, regardless of how similarly events may play out. Just a forewarning.

With that out of the way... I do need to stress this is where we begin to look at the divergences in the timeline. Because even if she didn't show up often in Fate Zero, you could argue she had an important role even back then... The Fourth Holy Grail War is where her life began going down the crapper, and the war's conclusion shattered Shiro as a person. You could argue that the divergences in the Fourth War play into why the Fifth War panned out so differently in this AU. Both wars are intimately connected~... So I'm gonna go ham here. Apologies for those who might prefer a more broken Sakura... But that's too angsty for my palette. I won't allow it. (人◕ω◕)***

Let's start with the big one. Sakura had an Uncle Kariya who meant the world to her. (人◕ω◕) Sakura was born the second daughter of the Tohsaka family, and her father Tokiomi being the brilliant man that he is... He decided to judiciously follow the laws and traditions of magi families - that there can only ever be one heir that inherits the Magical Crest of the Tohsaka's. And instead of letting Sakura choose her own life, her own path, Tokiomi decided because Sakura had so much potential that she should be given away to the Matou's, an ally mage family. So that she could be groomed into their heir, since they didn't have one. Not a proper one; Shinji was too weak to be considered an heir.

Seems "reasonable", yeah? Just give Sakura away to an ally magus family. Give the "unnecessary" child up for adoption... (人◕ω◕)*** Unfortunately, Tokiomi is a fool. It's one thing to want what's best for your kids... It's also one thing to follow traditions zealously because that's always how things have "always" been done, not all cultures encourage reflection and adaptation... (人◕ω◕)** But this guy gave his kid away to a veritable vampire and didn't know it. Of course Zouken hides his longevity pretty well... On top of how he's stayed alive for centuries...

It was a pretty big mistake. But that's what it was: A mistake. Because for all that I can harp on Tokiomi's idiocy all day, he didn't do it maliciously... He did want Sakura to thrive and come into her own as a magus. Even if that meant competing with her sister Rin one day. ... But you know what they say about good intentions, the road they pave... (人◕ω◕)

Still, this is when Kariya enters the picture. Just as the Fourth Holy Grail War is entering the final phases of preparation, he returns to Japan from some trip around the world that took a while. His lifelong friend Aoi Tohsaka, Rin and Sakura's mom, is used to him being away for lengthy periods and is simply happy to see him back. Rin is happy enough to see him, too... But when he opens up the can of worms that is Sakura, mother and daughter grow despondent. He learns about Tokiomi giving Sakura away to the Matou's, the family that he's distanced himself from because he can't stand being around them... Particularly around "grandfather"...

But Kariya can't let things be, no matter how much Aoi begs him. Aoi was the woman he loved, and still loves... And he treasures her daughters just as much. Sakura was especially fond of "Uncle Kariya", and that's why he goes to confront Zouken about the adoption. Because he knows the Matou family magic will break Sakura, it would break anyone. The Matou's really only exist for Zouken's benefit...

... Unfortunately for Kariya, Sakura was already thrown into the worm pit, and has been down there for days... Already broken and traumatized. Kariya is beside himself, and instantly tries to strike a bargain with Zouken: He'll win the Fourth Holy Grail War, and when he does Zouken will release Sakura. Return her to the Tohsaka's. Zouken isn't exactly keen to hedge his bets on Kariya, but it gives the old fossil a chance to torture Kariya and make him suffer... So he tentatively agrees, insisting Sakura will continue her training until Kariya returns with the Grail.

... In one timeline, Kariya dies failing to save Sakura. He dies with Aoi believing that he killed Tokiomi... And he severely wounded her in grief and outrage.

This timeline goes better. ... For the most part. During the war, Kiritsugu's assistant Maiya encounters Kariya. She's about to kill him, threat of Berserker be damned, but he winds up begging her for an alliance. Kariya asserts that his life doesn't matter - he's got an unruly Servant, and his body is rapidly deteriorating... Kariya intends to keep fighting even if he expires in the process, but his ultimate objective is to save Sakura. Maiya and whoever she works for is under no obligation to help him, but he begs them to save Sakura... Kariya's willing to offer them his Servant's power for however long he has it, as long as they follow through on their end of the deal.

Maiya contacts Kiritsugu about Kariya's offer... And while he'd sooner just kill Berserker's Master and be done with it, his wife Iri talks him into the alliance. She points out that Kiritsugu should be able to understand Kariya's pain, wishing to save a child that he cares for dearly... And Kariya is rather bedraggled and barely functioning as it is. What's the harm in helping a dying man?

So Kiritsugu agrees to meet with Kariya. They hash out what makes Zouken so damn near "unkillable", and they agree to go to the Church about the matter. Kirei's father, Risei, knows of ways to deal with corrupt magi such as Zouken, and as the matter is not related to the Grail War directly... he agrees to put the war on hold to deal with Zouken Matou.

Zouken attempts to flee the Matou estate with Sakura, unwilling to lose his best chance in the next Grail War... But gets taken down by Risei, Kirei, and Tokiomi, who is repulsed to learn about the truth of the man he entrusted his daughter with. The "vampire" doesn't die so easily... But he is exterminated. And Sakura's body is purged of all the crest worms that defiled her body.

Kariya is offered the same treatment, but he refuses. He knows that he will die whether they deal with the crest worms or not... He needs what magic they can offer him to keep going in this war. Because even with Sakura saved from his monster of a "grandfather", Tokiomi is adamant about giving Sakura away to a different family once the war is resolved... Kariya simply refuses to allow that to happen. He continues to fight for Sakura's sake... striking a new deal with Tokiomi that should Kariya survive the war, Grail or no, he'll retain custody of Sakura for however long he lives for.

Tokiomi isn't so enthused to accept any "deal" with Kariya, a waste of a magus like him... But he's also a father. And he is well aware that Sakura will need a... grace period to recover from her trauma. He figures that whenever Kariya dies, he can negotiate with Kariya's brother to take Sakura back. With this strategy in mind, Tokiomi "accepts" Kariya's challenge.

... To his own detriment. In the end, Kirei still kills Tokiomi. He loses the chance to torment Kariya, as the Matou representative honors his word and keeps fighting alongside Kiritsugu and Saber... But it's still the same old, same old. Kiritsugu still kills Kayneth. Saber takes on and defeats Iskandar, and Gilgamesh annihilates Lancelot because of his "weak" Master. Kiritsugu fights Kirei to the death, and Saber is forced to "destroy" the Grail... which brings about calamity, anguish, and despair.

But Kariya... He manages to survive those events, similarly to Kiritsugu. It's nightmarish, wading through what would later be known as "the Great Fire", but they manage to find and rescue Shiro. Kariya leaves the boy in Kiritsugu's care, once they get him to a hospital. He returns home to the Matou estate and hashes some things out with his brother, who's leery and uncertain of what the future holds for them now that they don't have Zouken breathing down their necks...

For a few years, Kariya manages to cling on. They're not entirely happy, Sakura can tell her Uncle is seriously ailing and worries over him... But moreover, she just struggles to... accept that "grandfather" is gone. That she doesn't have to be tortured anymore. Deep down, she's bitter that she suffered at all, that her father gave her away like that...

But Kariya helps Sakura to reconnect with Aoi and Rin. He gives Sakura the choice to return to them now that Tokiomi's gone - and yes, that was an ordeal working out what happened to him; Kirei had no one to easily pin his teacher's death on, and so the man denies knowing anything at all, plays the part of the "aggrieved" student who happened to discover the body - and Sakura turns the offer down. She's... conflicted about her mother and sister, who allowed her to be given away. Though Kariya insists that they love her, and want to be with Sakura again... She just can't bring herself to fully believe him. Sakura wants things to go back to the way they were... But her initial year with the Matou's was hell. Even if she starts talking to Rin and her mother again... It's just not the same. It can never be the same. And besides... she's deeply worried about Uncle Kariya, and wants to spend as much time with him as possible. She has a terrible feeling about his deteriorating health...

A few years pass them by, and Sakura slowly goes back to the sweet, kind girl she used to be. She buries her trauma and heartache, managing to reconcile with her mother better, but Rin... It's still a little difficult. If only because Rin keeps asking if Sakura wants to learn magic, and Rin just... she keeps assuming, and... Sakura doesn't like it. After her horrifying experiences with the Matou magecraft, Sakura has grown to... hate magic. Or at least, Sakura herself wants nothing to do with it. She has no opinion if Rin practices it.

Aside from the brittle connection with Rin, Sakura has also established a sibling bond with Shinji. He's not the nicest brother ever... But his father, at Kariya's insistence, tones down Shinji's worst qualities and punishes him when he steps out of line. Shinji does try getting Sakura to be more assertive and less of a wallflower... But to his frustration, Sakura's not keen to change her ways. Especially with Kariya's rapidly failing health...

And then one night, Kariya passed away in his sleep. No warning. For a little bit, it seemed like he might be recovering... Sakura got her hopes up, and then they were dashed. She was... inconsolable for weeks after Uncle Kariya's passing. After the funeral. She spent a lot of time alone, even with Shinji, Rin, and her mother checking in on her...

Around that time, Kirei also... "checked in" with Sakura. Technically, Rin was the only one he was supposed to take on as a student... Tokiomi made no contingency for Sakura. However, with how free-spirited Rin was, she was never going to be easily manipulated. Kirei had plans to raise Rin up only to crush her later, but Sakura was... vulnerable after Kariya's death. It was all too easy to take her on as a second reluctant student. Kirei relished the opportunity to destroy both of Tokiomi's children after molding them to his liking...

Unfortunately for the sadistic priest, not all goes according to plan. A couple of years after Kariya's death, Sakura met Shiro Emiya. (人◕ω◕) They attend the same school, with Shiro being in the same year as Rin, a year above Sakura. Shiro is... He's a lot like Sakura in that he's not very outgoing. Doesn't like to impose. He's a kind, gentle soul that just tries to help everyone... And Sakura really falls hard for the boy.

It doesn't take long for her "training" with Kirei to get severely behind schedule as she spends more time with Shiro before and after school, discovering that Shiro lives by himself with only Taiga-sensei checking in on him. ... Well, to say that Shiro's alone would be a vast... understatement. (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;; After the Fourth War, Kiritsugu went to rescue Illya from the Einzbern's. Meeting Kariya in that war inspired Kiritsugu to power through his own injuries and rescue his daughter and bring her back to Japan. So... Sakura also meets Illya, who's a year above Shiro in school... And Illya is very protective of her little brother. (人◕ω◕);;; She's grumpy the first while that Sakura visits, but eventually gets over it when Sakura helps with chores around the house. ... Illya hates manual labor. (人◕ω◕)

More than that, however... Sakura discovers that Shiro technically has an adopted mother, named Maiya. But she's rarely home, as she's working all the time. She says it's to help put food on the table, but... Shiro and Illya know there's more to it, and Maiya's just not explaining herself.

The Middle Act

Over the next several years, Sakura grows close to Shiro (... and Illya, to some extent). They settle into a routine of Sakura coming by before and after school, the routine only broken up sometimes by Kirei who grows... impatient... with his second student. (人◕ω◕)

Before they know it, the Fifth Holy Grail War arrives. ... 50 years early. (人◕ω◕) Sakura receives a set of Command Seals, marking her as a Master... And she just doesn't show interest in participating. Not when Rin is definitely going to be fighting, too. Nevertheless, Kirei tempts her with prospects of the Grail, which has the power to bring Kariya back to her. And it's not like Sakura herself has to fight to kill her enemies... Certainly, there will be participants who will take advantage of her naivete, but it's up to her how she conducts herself in battle.

Sakura's not eager to throw herself into any kind of war... But with how the last one ended, she's worried about Senpai getting impacted and wishes to protect him. ... And if she can revive Uncle Kariya, that would just make her so happy... With Sakura onboard with joining as a participant, Kirei arranges for her to receive a relic to summon a spirit - Medusa, who is summoned as Rider Class.

... Shortly after the war starts in earnest, Sakura's devastated to hear about Senpai getting grievously wounded after stumbling on a battle between two Servants. But when she goes to check up on him the morning after that attack... It's a very awkward breakfast. (人◕ω◕) For one: Senpai apparently managed to summon Saber and become a Master. And Saber picks up on Medusa's concealed presence around the home. (人◕ω◕);;;

For two... Illya is also a Master. And she summoned Berserker, of all Classes...!

Sakura-chan is very anxious during breakfast, you understand. She and Saber both are. (人◕ω◕) Illya's not bothered in the slightest. If Sakura makes a stupid move, Berserker will smash. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) Shiro plays peacemaker as usual, and it's really only his cooking that manages to keep everybody calm. He explains to Sakura that Rin is also a Master, and her Servant is Archer. Shiro doesn't feel good about blabbing about Rin, but Sakura deserves the head's up, especially since they agree to be allies in this war. Sakura's rather... eager... to agree to any alliance with Senpai. ... Even if Illya would rather deal with her now. There can only be one winner, after all... (人◕ω◕);;;

Unfortunately, Sakura and Illya hanging off of Shiro in the early part of the war makes Rin rather... distant. Unwilling to add to their alliance when that's four of the seven Servants right there. Even three of seven is overkill... It makes Sakura, Shiro, and Illya pretty easy targets. None of the other participants want to drag out that alliance... Caster makes a move first, figuring that taking Shiro hostage and attempting to steal Saber from him would tip the balance of the war in her favor...

Sakura and Illya don't let that stand, however. (人◕ω◕);;; Sakura leaves Medusa to take on Assassin at the gate, while Illya and Berserker race right in to wreck Caster's crap. (人◕ω◕);;; Medea wasn't too happy to see Heracles again, and she proves no match for him. Her Master is similarly dispatched when he tries to avenge Medea's defeat... Medusa manages to defeat Assassin.

... This does leave Rin in a regrettable state of affairs. (人◕ω◕);;; With Caster and Assassin dealt with, it's literally just down to her and whoever Lancer's Master is to deal with the... alliance. Archer is particularly determined to kill Shiro Emiya, and willingly agrees to work with Lancer to keep everyone else off of Shiro...

That... could have gone a lot better. (人◕ω◕);;; Lancer's Master reneged on the deal, leaving Rin and Archer alone to tackle the alliance. Rin had absolutely no chance, going up against Sakura, Illya, Rider, Saber, and Berserker. There was just no way. Sure, Archer tried to corner Shiro, but that proved detrimental to him as Rin grew angry about Archer trying to kill Shiro of all people, and using Command Seals to make him go strictly after the Servants.

Archer does try to sever their contract, but it proves inadvisable when he's up against Berserker, Saber, and Rider. As much as he has faith in his Unlimited Blade Works... Going up against all three at once is just too much. Archer gets a severe thrashing, and has a bitter exchange with Shiro before passing on.

That's when Gilgamesh makes his move and takes down Berserker, whimsically leaving Saber and Rider alone when they prove to be resilient. He kidnaps Illya, counting on her to be the Lesser Grail, and so wishing to cross swords with Saber once more as he elaborates on the Grail's true nature.

It comes down to a fight between Shiro, Sakura, Rin, Rider, and Saber up against Lancer, Kirei, and Gilgamesh. Rin finally comes around and helps Shiro able to get enough magic to access his Reality Marble.... Something that Sakura isn't too eager to let happen, as Rin has to be very intimate with Shiro to share her crest... But it's for the sake of rescuing Illya, so she allows it. (人◕ω◕);;; But she'll be having words later...

Medusa gives Lancer a hearty battle, and he loses. Shiro defeats Kirei, with Sakura and Rin for backup. And Saber defeats Gilgamesh. With the Grail just short of completion, they go after the Greater Grail, using Saber's mightiest attack to destroy it.

... And somehow, after all that, Saber and Medusa receive new mortal bodies. How... fun. (人◕ω◕)

The Future

... So how do you suppose this all ends, anyway? (人◕ω◕) I gave a bare-bones synopsis of the Fifth Grail War, and I apologize for devolving into that... But the bottom line is that Sakura was faithful and loyal to Senpai throughout the whole thing. (人◕ω◕) Despite other interested girls popping up, despite battles getting intense... Sakura-chan fought hard to protect her man. (人◕ω◕) For a while, she almost didn't care about resurrecting Kariya... Like, of course she wanted to bring him back... But if it cost her Shiro to do it, then it's not worth it. Trading one soul for another. Much less when the Grail wasn't working as intended, and Sakura-chan was very angry to hear that the tainted Grail was responsible for how her beloved Senpai became so scarred on the inside...

It was touch and go, keeping everyone alive... But even Artoria and Medusa got to stick around, how delightful is that? (人◕ω◕);;;

Sure, by the war's end she's pretty much patched things up with Rin-neechan, getting over her past hesitation and bitterness. They're a family. And families share. (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;; Yes, share even boys they like... Sakura isn't so coldhearted as to turn Rin away when she and Shiro have a deep, intimate bond now. But Sakura isn't so keen to give up either. She won't let Illya hog Shiro all to herself, either. Or Artoria. (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

But Rin knows Shiro isn't all okay... Archer was a piece of work, and she doesn't want Shiro turning out like that. Sakura agrees with neechan, and grudgingly allows Rin to take Shiro on as an apprentice and study at the Clocktower for a few years. Sakura doesn't like it, and understands Artoria and Illya's objections... But Senpai needs to clear his head. Figure out what he wants to do. And besides, Sakura doesn't have any affection for magic, no desire to study at the Clocktower herself. She'll patiently wait for Senpai's return... Sure, Rin will be in the doghouse after they get back, hogging Senpai for years...

But. It's. Fine. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) Before Senpai departs for London, Sakura gives him a very special gift... Her virginity, to be precise. Is it extreme? Sure. But all these other girls around Senpai, Sakura-chan didn't have a choice. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. Everyone else will just hafta deal. (人◕ω◕)

In the meantime, she, Medusa, Artoria, Mitsuzuri, and Illya will watch over the house... and later explain everything to Maiya when she gets back, flabbergasted at the developments. (人◕ω◕);;; They have a looooooot of splaining to do~...

Shiro's in for a rude awakening when he gets back to Japan. Sakura will be at the forefront of the pack, wanting another round and wanting baby Shiro's... But that's a story for another time. You know that Sakura-chan will have proposed to him within days of his return. Cuz Sakura-chan knows what she wants. (人◕ω◕)

The bottom line with this ship is that they're not perfect. Shiro still lost Kiritsugu, and Sakura still lost Kariya. The latter just got a better childhood, and wasn't a pawn of Zouken. ... Not for very long. (人◕ω◕) Shiro still has his hero complex, wanting to protect and keep Sakura happy... And Sakura's about the same as him. She wants to support and care for Senpai, to bask in his warming presence~ This Sakura's just learned to stand on her own somewhat. ... And there might be some stuff to work through with Rin because of Kirei whispering in Sakura's ear for several years... But by the end of the Grail War, Rin showed herself to be reasonable and nothing like Kirei said.

The crux of my enjoyment of this ship... is that I can understand the criticisms that remark how Shiro throws everything else away, just to be with Sakura... I get that the Heaven's Feel route is... heavy. That's why I decided to entertain a Sakura that's a little less broken. She's still got bitterness and uncertainty about the Tohsaka's, and that's understandable. But she learns to move on with her life, and she's allowed to move on~... She's not at Zouken's mercy. That's just my two cents about the Sakura x Shiro ship. It's pretty cute and wholesome overall... Just don't have Shiro abandon everything else for Sakura. That's just me. XD

[dropintomanga]

Meguru Bachira (Blue Lock) - Accepting the Monster

"Tell me, monster. What should I do? What will it take for those two to acknowledge me?"

If there's one hidden truth that's apparent once it's open, it's that we all have dark sides. With happiness comes sadness, with joy comes anger. We can't have yin without yang. However, there's so many of us who can't accept that we sometimes have inner monsters. We carry trauma that builds up over time stemming from childhood experiences and begins to take a life of its own when unchecked.

I'm going to talk about a very notable character whose claim to living is their inner monster and that's Meguru Bachira from Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura's compelling hit soccer anime/manga series, Blue Lock.

To describe Blue Lock in a nutshell, it's about young Japanese soccer strikers (players whose specialty is goal-scoring) being chosen to compete in a very rigorous training program called Blue Lock for a chance to become a striker strong enough to help Japan take on and surpass the world's best soccer teams. Bachira is introduced during a initiation game of tag, where whoever has the soccer ball last in their possession once a specific amount of time expires is removed from the Blue Lock program. Bachira "tags" the series' main hero, Yoichi Isagi, who had a chance to "tag" a fallen player and drive them out. Instead, Isagi tags a more competent player after Bachira encourages him to "tag" a stronger player. Bachira and Isagi would then form a friendship after that moment, where the former explains to the latter that he has a monster instead of him and is looking for fellow monsters and potential ones in the making, one of which is Isagi. The two would form a team and they looked inseparable.

Instead, Bachira was taken from Isagi after a game in the Second Selection phase of the Blue Lock program due to a rule stating that winning teams in that round can take any one of the losing team's players. Isagi becomes determined to take Bachira back from the team that took him and also prove himself to that team's captain, Rin Itoshi. When the time came for Isagi and Bachira to "reunite" in a rematch between the two teams, we finally learn about Bachira's past.

Bachira grew up really loving soccer more than anything else. He loved it so much that it irked his fellow peers. Bachira became bullied for being a bit too weird about soccer. Bachira's mother tried to comfort saying that Bachira is following the "monster" inside his heart. That "monster" was imploring him to keep playing soccer since Bachira's mother had a creative "monster" that drove her work. However, Bachira's "monster" starts to become problematic as coaches and other players noted how invisible they feel when they play with Bachira. Bachira notices that the people around him don't have monsters, but he still does and takes pride in it. However, the monster inside him starts to grow into extreme loneliness.

The first time I saw Bachira's past and the monster, it made me think about one thing - the Hearing Voices network. It's a mental health support network for people who hear voices in their head, see visions that are out of the norm, and/or have unusual experiences that can get extreme. Individuals facing their conditions are often treated with a lot of disdain and a lack of understanding. They have to deny and suppress their thoughts out of fear of being deemed crazy.

Bachira says that no one understands how he feels and what he sees. He was having a mental health crisis that went beyond depression and anxiety. Something that couldn't be easily fixed. It wasn't until he met Isagi that his perspective started to change. Isagi was Bachira's first real friend.

People talk about how some major mental health problems are caused by brain chemistry and bad genetics. But you know, sometimes, they are caused by a lack of attention when growing up as a child. What if relationships that were supposed to aid in your social development suddenly disappeared when you start to feel differently about things within good reason? What if the one thing you love was suddenly occupied by people who didn't want to be around you anymore?

Why wouldn't a "monster" start to appear in the face of terrible social context?

Bachira's monster was a response to his trauma and it becomes more apparent once the final Second Selection game was played. Bachira notices that Isagi and Rin are starting to eclipse him. He becomes hesitant over how to play during the match. Isagi and Rin's monsters were on a very different level because they were about surpassing their own limits first and foremost. Bachira also comes to a realization that because of Blue Lock, he doesn't need the monster anymore and not rely on other "monster" players (like Isagi) to justify himself playing soccer.

Bachira's words about not needing the monster anymore makes me think about how certain labels can be useful at first, but end up being harmful once they fulfilled their purpose. I don't know about any of you, but I felt this way when I was struggling with my "clinical depression" label. I carried it to a huge deal, but over the past few years and meeting new people that changed my outlook, I've been trying to shed that label slowly. I want to believe that I can still do great things and meet loving people even if my condition says otherwise.

I think about the people who receive mental health diagnoses and have been told that they're doomed. Next thing you know, their lives spiral out of control. What's worse is that the people who are supposed to help actually end up doing more harm than good. They get told that there's some things that are considered stable parts of life (i.e. hold a full-time job, have a romantic relationship, etc.) they can't do anymore. I think about the discrimination they face when it comes to not being "normal."

While some things are definitely affected for the worst, I do believe that people with mental health problems are more capable than they think. We can make good lives for ourselves with the support of others who believe the same. We can definitely take on the most basic things alone, but we definitely need people to treat us with compassionate understanding. Blue Lock may not be a mental health clubhouse, but I love how its unique combination of egoism and communal setting changed Bachira. I know there's definitely people like Bachira out there who want something that drives them to better themselves while bettering others.

And about the monsters inside of us, I think it's harmful to shame them. You better damn-well acknowledge them like Bachira did. They were doing the best they could to protect you. Though I think about something Bachira's mother said to Bachira when he was sad - believe in the monster in your heart. Sometimes, the monster in your mind is a lot worse than the monster in your heart. It can rationalize every thing that happens to you in a very binary fashion. The monster in your heart is your true/base desire and I believe Bachira finally awakens to that as he just wants to play soccer with joy no matter what anyone else says.

That's the kind of monster I want more people to embrace.

[akocomyk]

The Risk

2023’s Most Memorable Moment

Where do I even begin?

Haha. 😅 There’s one last love story—one last heart—that I need to talk about. It may not have been the longest situationship from last year, but it was the most genuine. And if I had to choose from the long list of people I’ve met and dated, I’d always choose him.

Cup of Joe is one band that I discovered and got so addicted to after I broke up with my ex. The song I chose for this moment is my favorite from them, and I thought that it was a song I could dedicate to my ex, but somehow, I always felt that it wasn’t meant for him.

And I was right. It was meant for me and my babe.

Charles... Babe?

Can you tell me how do I move on from loving someone who has done nothing but love me in the way that I deserve to be loved? You’re the one who has a long list of ex-lovers, maybe you know.

Remember what I said back in December 26? That in my dating life for 2023, you were the cherry on top. It’s not because you’re the one who ended that phase, but because you were the one that hurt the most. I didn’t include your name in the roll call for that memory because I didn’t meet you in Bumble.

I’ve been telling you this before… I’m still in question of what made you decide to transition from us being just casual online friends to potential lovers.

I’ll never forget how we first met in a Zoom call, and then we connected in Twitter. You were my “happy crush” then, which was why I always replied to you whenever you messaged me. Months later, in October 20, you asked for my Instagram account and began pursuing me.

One of the first things you ever told me was that you were not out to your friends or family, and that you value your privacy. This wasn’t a problem for me. Then came a time when you shared to me how much you cried when you watched Heartstopper and Gaya Sa Pelikula because, unlike the characters in these shows, you still haven’t found the courage to come out to the people you love. So I told you, “Everyone has their right time for that.”

After talking consistently for several days, you began telling me repeatedly that you like me, and I held back myself from saying the same to you because I was trying to guard my heart and I didn’t want to give you the idea that I was easy to get. Honestly though, I’d be lying if I say that I didn’t have the same feelings for you.

Of all the guys I dated, you were the only one who wanted to ask permission from my family first before courting me. You knew your place as well, you respected my individuality, and you didn’t ask me to stop seeing other guys—at least, at first 😉.

I really enjoyed talking with you, and I mean all versions of you. The Swiftie. The deep talker. The ranter. The ML player. The “Did you know…” guy. The avid listener. Even the maker of bad “Tito jokes”. Talking to you gives me so much comfort because I know that no matter how savagely honest I can be with what I think or feel, you would never invalidate me. It just shows how modest, kind, and respectful you are.

But you know what’s my favorite version of you? It’s the one who drunk texts me. 😜 Other than the fact that I find it so funny when you chat me while you’re tipsy, I enjoy hearing you speak without your inhibitions. It feels like I’m seeing your heart without the usual barricade of your logical mind. You were drunk when you begged me to stop seeing other guys. And that’s also when you first sent me a voice record of you saying, “I love you.”

I didn’t want to immediately say it back because, at that point, you still haven’t given that much effort for me. But to tell you the truth, it took me a hard time to stop myself from doing so. I needed to use my head now, you know, after being in a relationship where I was the only one exerting the maximum effort to build it.

You said sorry every time you drunk texted me, and told me to don’t mind the things you said. You say sorry quite a lot, actually. When you over slept. When you forgot to say good night. When you took too long to reply. When you think you’ve offended me even when I wasn’t offended at all. And you’re so cute when you ask me, “Galit ka ba? 🥺”

I’ve never been angry at you. That’s one thing that you never got me to do. But you got me to do other stuff, though.

You got me to play Mobile Legends. No one has ever made me do that. Don’t ever think that I didn’t enjoy playing the game.

You made me eat breakfast—and I’m sorry I still miss it often.

You got me through my dilemma with my past work. That’s why you were the first person to know that I’ve passed the application process in QBE, and that I’ve already accepted their offer.

And… there’s many more.

December 15 was one of my most favorite days this year. Obviously because it was the first time we met in person, and you insisted that you’d go visit me here in Cavite City. I love that the first thing you wanted to do when you got here was to visit my mother’s grave, so I took you to her. And I really didn’t have an itinerary for that day, my idea was just to walk you around my hometown—which we did, and I told you stories about my life as we visited various places. You even met Trish who is one of my best friends.

In the afternoon, we went to the cinemas to watch Wonka, which apparently no one wanted to watch that day aside from us and two other folks. It was there when you asked permission if you could hold my hand—of course, I said yes. Then you also asked permission if you could kiss me, and I said, “Of course!” I mean, you already kissed me twice by then, and you said I tasted like sour cream and cheese, thanks to Potato Corner.

I didn’t remember much about how the film Wonka went, but I will never forget how I felt at home when I was with you.

You brought me back to my house that night, and we were so bummed that we missed our city’s annual “Navidad” parade. We were also bummed that we didn’t kiss each other goodbye despite wanting to.

Come the Christmas holidays, I knew something was rather off with you, and I took it as maybe it’s just because you missed your family in the province so much, knowing that you haven’t spent Christmas with them for years and you’re just spending it now with your friends.

Then on the morning after Christmas, you told me your father called you the night before, and that he was disappointed at you. And you told me you’d come here to Cavite to discuss everything personally.

I was in complete unrest the entire day as I waited for you, and when you finally arrived at our gate that night… I knew some shit’s gonna get real.

We walked, your arm over my shoulders, and you told me what happened.

You came out to your parents—told them over chat—in the first week of December. Your mom replied first, but your dad only replied on Christmas day when he called you. You also told them that you were seeing a guy—me. They weren’t mad at you, they didn’t scold you, but you knew they were disappointed.

I hugged you, even when you didn’t want to ‘coz you just wanted us to keep walking.

And then… you could no longer put words to your thoughts. You just kept saying, “Sorry,” every second. So I said, “I know what you’re trying to tell me without you having to say it out loud.”

It was so hard for me to walk then because I felt like my legs had turned to jelly. I wanted to just lie down and cry on the rain sodden asphalt.

You said you took the risk… because I was the risk w🫀rth taking. You said, “Gusto mo bang itago rin kita? ‘Di mo deserve ‘yun.”

You said, “Sorry I’m not strong enough to go against my parents. Sorry I’m not as strong as you.”

We sat on the pavement in front of our house. We talked more. You said sorry many more times, I told you I wanted to fight for you.

You said, “I love you.” I looked at you and said, “I love you too.” I never thought hearing and saying those words could feel so bittersweet. There were millions of butterflies in my stomach, but they evaporated the minute they spread their wings.

A lot more happened that night. Like how we planned to get drunk, but my homophobic father kicked us out, so I just sent you home. I cried to my sister and told her everything. When we’re both in bed in our own rooms, we couldn’t sleep so we just went on a call until we slept and woke up the next morning.

Shit.

You know, my mother taught me me to fight and never give up for the ones I love. When she was dying, she was still fighting up until her very last breath—maybe even beyond. The doctors told us that they did everything they can to revive her because they could feel that she still wanted to live, but her body just couldn’t make it. The last word she said to me before she was taken to the ICU was, “Hindi ko kayo iiwan.”

I am my mother’s son, and I am like her in many ways. I don’t just look like her, I also love like her. And if I can, even when it’s against all odds, I would still fight for the people I love ‘til there’s only one last glimmer of hope.

But yeah. You needed to be firm with your decision, otherwise coming to me that night would’ve been for nothing, according to you.

It takes great courage to come out. You don’t know how much I wish you’re brave enough to stand firm as well with who you are. You’ve taken a risk, partly because of me, and it’s sad that despite you taking that risk, I only ended up becoming the sacrificial lamb.

My friend said I deserve someone better than you because I don’t deserve to experience what you did.

Forgive me if the skeptical and overthinking part of me tries to paint an unpleasant picture of you—chains of what-if’s that map out a reason to make sense of it all. Like… What if you made it up? You know… just to give me a good story that’ll force us to end our relationship before it even started. What if you did it just to get rid of me, for whatever reason reason that maybe? Maybe you got turned off by my complicated family? My blunt honesty? Or maybe you actually found someone else? Maybe… you found out I was worth more than what you initially wanted me to be, so you got scared that I might end up like your many exes and you wouldn’t want that, so you decided to stop pursuing me before we fall deeper into our feelings.

But we’ve already fallen.

Babe, you are the most memorable moment of my 2023, and I’m grateful for that. Thank you for giving me the best and worst days of the year.

Like we said, maybe in a parallel universe, there’s a version of you who’s brave enough to stay with me. And in this universe of ours, maybe we’re only destined to have a sad, beautiful, tragic love affair.

Regardless, if in this lifetime, you finally find the courage to love freely, come back to me and reclaim the heart that was once yours.

I love you, boss, popcorn, hooman, babe.

I LOVE YOU, CHARLES. Always.

[animescapist]

ANIME REACTION YUBISAKI TO RENREN Episode 2

Nice. So I properly listened and watched the opening song this time. The song feels warm and chilly at the same time. It evokes a sort of fuzzy feeling while listening to it and I also a sense of care and worry in how it is sung, so I think it suits the series well. I also really like these types of emotional songs. I think songs from the Fruits Basket remake comes to mind.

Ahhh, I'm on my period so listening to it made me tear up a bit.

Rin, the wingwoman. It's cool to have friends like her, but personally if my friend found out who I liked, I'd feel like running away from it all out of embarrassment and because I know they would do everything to ship me and the person I like. Hahahahaha. Yuki is brave for real.

Pft! Relatable moment.

Oh no. NONONONONONONO

Bro, didn't hold back! Is he just an airhead? Or like, does he blurt words out without thinking much? Straightforward? AAAAAA (*≧∀≦*)

Hmm, so. Yuki. That night. His message. You guys... weren't flirting?? HUHHH??? I'm pretty sure no guy just says that outta nowhere. (￣ ﹌ ￣)>

And, well, if I have to answer this question, Yuki right now is in a crush phase. You cannot tell yet that you love someone just by meeting them a few times or admiring one or two things about them. Love embraces everything. And to embrace someone wholeheartedly is to know them through and through. Yuki has yet to know everything about this... this guy's name I don't remember.

... oh no. A childhood friend who already communicates with her in sign language. You can already tell how much he cares for her. But if he's gonna be salty that she found a person she likes, that's on him, honestly. He's not entitled to prevent her from liking anybody else besides him. Anyway, I'm expecting the worse here. I'll give his character the benefit of doubt. He just looks so insecure, haha. I could be biased, of course.

I knew Rin would pick up on that.

If his character is like this, and Yuki being the way she is, well, nothing would happen between them if he doesn't express himself honestly. If only he wasn't so tsundere about it. If you repress or hide these positive emotions, nobody gains from it but what comes is imminent regret. Remember this well, guys.

See here, Yuki is great for not holding herself back in expressing her true feelings and intentions. She knew that what she truly wants is to create a connection between her and this guy. So instead of withdrawing the offer, she welcomes it and looks forward for their next meeting. That is beautiful and genuine.

The fact that this guy opened this conversation though is also very thoughtful. The very notion of considering whether she would want a souvenir or not would only come to his mind if he felt he wanted to bring her souvenirs, but he also asks her first which I think is even more considerate because if he had bought them without even asking her (and they're technically just acquaintances), that would have been really weird. So this guy also made sure to deliver his intentions across without hesitation.

Mm. I feel another insecure character has appeared. I could be wrong again. Haha. She looks like she has things going on. Also, I'm gonna guess that she likes him. Insecure people attract each other. Who said that? Me. ☆⌒(≧▽​° )

凸(￣ヘ￣) Red flag. Control freak.

That look screams she likes him. Hmmmm.

Okay, I learned his name. Itsuomi. He's able to surround himself with locals and be close with them. That is already a very admirable trait. The fact that he travels suggests his openness and curiosity towards places, things and people. It's the eagerness to understand a culture or a person and the drive for exploration I think make him very admirable.

OH SHIT. DUDE IS SECRETLY LEARNING! ( ͡°⁄ ⁄ ͜⁄ ⁄ʖ⁄ ⁄ ͡°)

Yes, it's good to realize what you want sooner than later. If you want this to be love girl, go for it. Get 'im!

I expected that, but it still caught me off guard. Hahahaha.

So I had a few guys pat my head for no reason when I was still in high school. I also couldn't bring myself to look at them while they patted my head. I don't know, man. What are you supposed to do in that situation? Get angry? Stay silent? Question them? Evade? Neither seems right. I can sort of understand if they were older like a teacher or a parent. But if they were your friends, colleagues, your peers . . .

What would you do?

Oh, so she can also see these things. Then does she know? That he means well, but has a difficult and shelled personality?

Ehh... I mean you did fall in love. But I would say that emotion right now is attraction and adoration, not the kind of realistic and grounded love that develops over a long time, involving mutual understanding and compromise.

Though I can say that she does love him in a sense that she wants to build a bond. Right now, she loves his presence, his demeanor, his looks (of course), his overall aura.

[team7-headquarter]

A little guide for my personal use, but could come in handy to understand my Diamond Girls au:

⠀

— SETTING / WORLDBUILDING :

This world is based on Naruto, manga/anime by Kishimoto. However, it's an alternative universe set on semi modern times, where even the best shinobi only holds a low reserve of chakra. Therefore, the characters are forced to rely more on their ninja like abilities and well, rely on guns and weapons.

Example A: the Susanoo technique allows the user to fortify their skin and clothes, along with giving them enhanced strength and speed, but it is not a giant spectral warrior who can cut down mountains in half.*

*No one in this au can take down a mountain.

Example B: the Byakugan have a time limit of usage that corresponds with the chakra reserves of the user AND it can't shut down completely chakra pathways. Although it can be used instead for strategies and tactics, as well as to wear down the enemy with heavier strikes to their systems.

⠀

— TIME LINE / AGES / DATES :

– GUIDE :

Let's call the year the Konoha 12 were born the Point Zero or Year Zero (Y. 0) and count accordingly.

Minato became Hokage on year 3, did the shinobi system reformation on year 4 and died on year 8. The sannins reached the village on year 9. The Konoha 12 started their Academy phase on year 9 and became genins on year 16.

The main timeline starts on year 20, with the Konoha 12 getting reunited to train together for the Chunnin Exams.

– AGE REFERENCES :

Based on how old were they on year zero:

The Sannins were 35 years old.

Hiruzen Sarutobi and Danzo Shimura were 55 years old.

Sakumo Hatake was 38 years old (if he was still alive).

Fugaku Uchiha was 32 years old.

Mikoto Uchiha, Shibi Aburame, Hizashi Hyuga, Hiashi Hyuga and Rasa (Gaara's dad) were all 26 years old.

Most parents of the Konoha 12 were 22 years old: Minato, Kushina, Shikaku Nara, Chozo Akimichi, Inojin Yamanaka, Tsume Inuzuka, etc.

Except Kakashi, who was 14 years old.

Obito Uchiha, Rin Nohara, Asuma Sarutobi, Might Guy, Kurenai Yuhi, Anko Mitarashi and all of that generation were 16 years old.

Shishui Uchiha was 11 years old.

Itachi Uchiha was 7 years old.

The Konoha 12 were born that year or maximum 2 years prior.

Konohamaru would be born on year 4.

– REFORMED SHINOBI SYSTEM :

From ages 0 to 8, children are encourage to develop a sense of citizenship in the village. Those feelings should grow as the ideals who would made of them great shinobis. Around this time the clans would teach their children most of their traditions. They're not expected to understand/apply the knowledge yet. For civilian kids, these years are just school years and could be filled with the families teaching them a new profession, unless they desire to follow the shinobi path.

Minato created the new system intending so no more children were forced to go to war.

It favors the education of highly skilled shinobi and medic nins in order to decrease the death rates. It also favors adaptability and creativity, to avoid getting skillful shinobi stuck on a stiff team structure.

From ages 8 to 12, it's Academy I. On this period the children are taught the basics of the shinobi world. Their schedules still allows free afternoons and weekends for them to play or spend however they like. Most civilian kids leave on this stage when they realize they don't want to be shinobi. Also, this stage separates the kids in three secret categories: genius, average, special interests.

From ages 12 to 16, it's called Academy II or Field Academy. Here happens the heavy load, with simulated missions and full schedules. Here geniuses are tested to verify their ability to manage a real life challenge. If they pass, they'll go directly to anbu at 16. The average kids will be trained to become genins at 14 or maybe 15, ready to be assigned to the field. The special interest children (clan kids) get recommendations to join a special program as genins, where they'll have to balance missions with their continuing education.

Ages 16 to 20. Teenagers leave the Academy as genins sorted in the following categories: Far Above Average (FAA), Above Average (AA), Average (A), Slightly Below Average (SBA) or Below Average (BA).

⠀⠀⠀Based on this, there are 5 options as a genin:

1— ANBU / BLACK OPS: for FAA only. They become chunnin, not genin. Every FAA who wants this option must have passed their psychological examination.

2— GENERAL FORCES: mostly for A, SBA and BA. This genins are the common force behind most of the mission that reach Konoha. They go directly to work at the field, being either in D-rank mission outside Konoha or helping the village.

3— SPECIALIZATIONS: for all categories if they have recommendations. This is mostly for clan kids or genins interested in special areas like I&T. Like the general forces, they're assigned in groups of three members, but they take fewer missions and focus more on learning their roles in the village.

4— SUPPORT SYSTEM: for all categories. Similar to the specializations, this is for genins that want to work on an specific area in short-term programs. They help run most of Konoha, act as messengers and members of the administrative staff, etc.

After reaching 20 years old, any shinobi is competing within the system for promotions and higher ranks. There are different ways of becoming chunnin, not always having to pass the Chunnin Exams. Minato's reform helped raise the common age to take the exam to 18 and 20 years old. Only FAA take the exams or are promoted before that age.

5— SANNIN PROGRAMS OR OPERATIONS: open to all categories without recommendation. However, it's not compatible to any other category. Genins who join this option leave behind their clans and teams, since their loyalty must lay with the sannin and the new mates in the program/project. Not all genins can access them. They must past the test of the sannins or their subordinates in order to get accepted.

⠀

— PERSONALITIES / DYNAMIC CHANGES :

Every character in this au is slightly changed by the difference in experience on this world.

For example, Akatsuki is not as radicalized as in the manga, although they are working with one of the sannins to kill Hiruzen (wait and see!). Without Madara / the Zetzus to control them and with Yahiko still alive, they fight to bring peace to all nations. The morally greys.

Sakura met Chiyo during her specialization, when Sakura studied in Sunagakure for a year. The circumstances of their fight with Sasori where different. Chiyo didn't die and Sasori was taken back to a prison in Suna. The specifics in the fic.

Sasuke is more openly affectionate (barely) because his family is alive. What makes him more like his manga self is Fugaku treatment and the political context suffocating him. The Uchihas are the next clan to eliminate after the Senjus and the Uzumakis, a international complot with Danzo being the executioner of Konoha. There're other factors, like Akatsuki and the Sannins.

Kakashi is equally guilt ridden but at least Rin is alive. He focus on supporting her with her chronic illness condition, an aftermath of her being a jinchuriki and Kakashi's chidori, (here chidori is an attack to the nervous system capable of frying it in full force. Rin fell on a coma but Tsunade was able to "reboot her system"). Also Obito is Tobi, but not a puppet of Madara. He works with Akatsuki and later with Itachi and Jiraiya and other shinobis to clean Konoha's corruption.

On their Academy II era, Team 7 went to the Land of the Waves mission. Haku was saved. It happens that Itachi had read the mission specifications some time later after the team assignment and immediately sent Shisui to them when he realized the real danger they were in. With his speed, he was able to reach the bridge on time. Chidori affected Haku's nerve system, but his natural cold kekkei genkai allowed his body to enter a coma that could be stabilized with Sakura's knowledge of medical ninjutsu. At this point in time, Sakura had been taking spare lessons from Tsunade for 5 years. Shisui took Haku on emergency back to Konoha, where Tsunade took care of him, having experience with Rin. Haku was them basically adopted by Kurenai (an accident, really!).

And so on. The characters and dynamics won't be the same as in the manga/anime, because the circumstances are not the same either. Although I try to respect the bases of how they're written.

Most of the main conflicts are there, except for Kaguya and Madara. The real conflict is the political corruption of the hidden villages, responsible for the Uzumaki genocide and Minato and Kushina's deaths, for example. They want to eliminate the Uchihas for the same reason why they wanted the Uzumakis gone or the Senjus buried. Other things they don't like and want to erase: Akatsuki, Jiraiya and Tsunade; the first for helping Naruto on his journey to figure out the truth about his clan and parents, the second for pushing for the medical shinobis age and preaching that medics can overrule most shinobis at war.

Etc.

[pashminalamb]

Reo who befriends you and everything is fine until you start dating nagi that's when Reo realized how much he loves you. He gets jealous of nagi, but he's conflicted cause he cares for both of you. Just angst of Reo pining for reader and feeling conflicted cause he cares for both you and nagi.

&

Oliver who simps for you so hard but he unaware of how he acts. He does anything for you even when you guys are at the friends stage. He also doesn't care for paparazzi taking pictures of you two (cause he knows you both look good). Also he seems like the type that would walk around with just a towel hanging low around his waist cause he knows it drives you crazy.

&

Rin who always goes slightly soft whenever your around. And when you go to family dinners he's always so protective of you cause he's afraid of how Sae could be cruel. ( sae is actually not cruel, he is cold but does enjoying telling embarrassing stories about rin). Finally, Rin who exercises shirtless (like in the manga) and he's oblivious to the fact he's so fuckable when he looks like that. Then it leads to sexy time 😏

🍀 anon (love the cute nicknames you give your anons)

*gets ukelele* I'm in love with someone, whos in love with someone and that someone will never be me. - literally Reo.

I've thought about it before, Reo and Nagi could possibly like the same woman, not because the same preference though. Nagi is immature and needs a caretaker; Reo is the caretaker and rather than settling for a person like Nagi, he wants someone he can see eye to eye with.

pretty sure Reo is gonna be the one to end up as Seishiro's best man at your wedding- cause he has a terrible time at trying to express his emotions and yell you to get out, throwing and breaking things in anger from the pain he feels everyday. And he's also gonna stay single and be an uncle to your kids - basically he's gonna be that rich uncle who will spoil them. This man can fall hard, but it is only once and that's it. (and this is straight up my alley since i am angst writer; but eh got 30 wips and planning to release one today/tomorrow

(ㅠ﹏ㅠ))

Coming to Oliver. *whistles* he knows he's simping. The thing with this guy is, his image looks stupid- with being a playboy, becoming serious only when it comes to football and being a pretty talker. But real talk? he is actually pretty smart- just has a way of concealing it (like look at the manga he reads- he is a nerd.) at the friends stage, he doesn't care at first cause all this guy knows is to take and take more. Until you get into a really bad argument about it and he becomes more sensitive towards you.

As friends, if the paparazzi takes pictures of him, ik for a fact that he is gonna be bothered abt it with you when you complain abt how he should be left alone and that this was a day that was for the both of you to hang out. But when is bed that night, he will be scrolling through the photos leaked, a smile making it to his face when he sees your annoyed expression.

Relatioship stages - he is skeptical cause his past has given him trauma but with time, he knows you're not going anywhere.

Clover. you- the number of times i've thought of Oliver stepping out with a towel around his waist, dangerously close to his lower adonis belt. and rather than the normal towel, he's gonna make sure to take the smaller sized one that you use for your face (ik, he's disgusting that way) and wrap that around his waist, making sure to expose his thighs. He is shameless- and makes sure to do things that make you tick, finding it adorable.

As for Rin, going for dinner to his home is a big step for the both of you, for you cause you're going to meet his parents and this is serious phase of your relationship and for him... because he knows that he is getting close to you and it was official through his closest family circle and that Sae was going to be there as well since his parents wanted to make it a family dinner.

He is guarded about you in front of Sae 'cause honestly? the red head is the caretaker of the younger sibling and their relationship is closer to each other rather than with their parents. so he is worried when he brings you home cause he looking for approval and doesn't want Sae to ruin his chances of being happy at the same time. If they reconcile (in my head they already have as they grow older-), Sae, Rin and you actually do schedule dinners every other weekend - with the two of them arguing abt their skills on the field and you just watching the banter.

Shirtless rin? you just gave away spoilers for my next release - (つ≧﹏≦)

But yes, he does look very fuckable. and he knows it turns you on. he's just asking to be dominated atp

and i'm glad you like the nicknames! i give them cause its easier to call out yk? Ayyy non- just sounds really mechanical in my head and names are more easier ૮꒰/ฅ//ฅ//꒱ა

[zhongrin]

Dodhnseidbdbenidis RIN AIIDHDJSOJDBSNS

Ayato can basically fuck off if Baizhu is his competition, I will choose Baizhu over everyone heh 🤸❤️❤️

Your man is very cute indeed mhm, but how about you hide with him in his hidey hidey hole? Yes you aren't dw <3 you're deep in love and it's cute ❤️

Exactly!! And I am sure his caudal fin would be so beautiful frfr, and only you have the honour to touch it. You. His wife. <3

Help Rin my heart omfg;;.. like everyone who knows me knows I am crushing hard on Baizhu, and I will do my best to let him know it too. <3 ofc I will give him all the kisses and reassurance, everytime he needs ❤️

Omfggg the nicknames aaaaaa;; I have two questions then, are you speaking indo and / or chinese and why did you choose a different language for ya nicknames? <33 (pls don't get it the wrong way, it's so interesting!! ❤️)

You're so sweet plsssss;; I love gushing abt our Selfships sm aaaaaa

Omg you both are menaces, perfectly fitting for each other <3 but what I can also imagine is - you calling him "babe" to fluster him and him bringing up a embarrassing childhood story 😭

Rin no. Because I won't ever say "Bai", I would always stay by his side. <3 (but if we somehow come to the point where I say goodbye to him.. yes. Yes. Because it's funny 🤸❤️❤️)

Ikr ikr they need to know when it gets serious frfr

Help he would ofmfhsishehdj - but not that often like the others cuz he knows the other ones make me fluster and blush every. Single. Time. 🤸

HELP SO CUTE, I can also totally imagine Zhongli holding your hand or laying an arm around your back while ya are out <33 ❤️❤️

YOU?? FEEDING ALHAITHAM?? that's so cute ofmfndbjsjsn;; help <33

With one ya have many outdoor dates and with the other ya have many indoor ones, so adorable aaaaaa 💞💞

Now I have a question - do you think your hubby's are jealous or not that much? If they are - do they show it and how?

(PLS I ENJOY READING IT SMMM DONT WORRY <33❤️❤️)

HALKJDLASJD baizhu is sweeping the competition i see 👀 understandable, that's me @/zhongli

oh yes i'll hide in his hidey hole. actually i'm a vvip in his hidey hole, he doesn't allow anyone else to enter his abode <3

noooo his tail fin ;w; i will smooch it and caress it gently. must be a very pretty golden color that shimmers in the water aaaaaa

everyone in liyue knows baivi atp. they're always expecting one of you nearby the other whenever they spot you in public. "oh dr. baizhu's here? ms. dresvi must be around then." "is that ms. dresvi oh good i wanted dr. baizhu to take a look at this bump on my arm-" lol

dw i got you hehe it's bc me and my s/i is actually indo-chinese! and zhongli is- well- liyue is based on china so there's that heheh hence we tend just to mix up indo and chinese words in our day to day life!

HELP HE WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT HDLSKJFKLSD "hey babe-" "remember that time when we were kids and you were so obsessed with horses-" "LOOK EVERYONE HAS A HORSE GIRL PHASE OK YOU CAN'T BLAME ME but also please shut up i'm so sorry i won't call you babe anymore pumpkin pookie wookie snookers-" *cue us bickering and kaveh watching in the bg with a popcorn*

hsldfjksldjlf please hahahah now i'm picturing a little puppy!dresvi tottering behind baizhu everywhere help-

speaking of do you both have any pets? :D i would say changsheng but i feel like she'll bite me when i say so- CHANGSHENG NO PLEASE I'M SORRY

he. he's totally the type who would put his hand on my back to guide me around yes 😭 i love love love it when ppl do that??? also i can see him offering his arm so i can link our arms together ueueue

he's now accustomed to reading his books while eating bc i spoil him too much hsldfkjsd if i feel like being extra chaotic that day i'd feed him soup lmao

ikr the 2 pairings have such a different but somewhat similar dynamics i love imagining it sm wahhhh

i think they're both pretty secure and doesn't get jealous that much unless something very very sussy happens!! i see them both as more of the protective type? like they'd readily jump in if they sense any danger or something similar! for zhongli - depending on the season and other parties involved, i feel like his slightly more possessive dragon instinct might come into play, but it's not often hehe <3

both of them would be the type who would try to avoid full-blown confrontation so they'd steer us away from the situation... they're both good at mind games and twisting words to deescalate the situation (zhongli) or distress the other party enough so they walk away willingly (al haitham) after all lol

how does baizhu show that he's jealous and does he talk it out with you later on? or does he keep it bottled up inside? what kind of situations irks him the most and how did you handle him? 👀

(OK OK GOOD HSDLFJSKLDF I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY READING MY ESSAYS HAHAHAH)

[trashyslashers]

Hello, if it’s possible, may I get a dbd killer match up please?

For my appearance: I stand 5’0 ft / 152 cm, I am light-skinned, I have curly hair (blonde) with an undercut (black), and I pass as androgynous (people mistake me as male, female, or still unsure). I don’t make much facial expressions, just simple nods or head tilts. I wear mainly black clothing (I either dress comfy or wear techwear along with a mask since I don’t feel comfortable showing my face). My hair slightly covers my face but not to where you cannot see it.

For my personality: From what others say, I am asocial, shy, mysterious, smart, an enigma, funny, hard-working, somewhat psychic, sweet, determined, emotionless, mentally strong, stubborn, hard-working, and awkward. My MBTI is INFJ-T.

As for other: I am ND (Neurodivergent), I’m suspected to have selective mutism, and same with social anxiety. I also like to play video games, listen to music, sleep, and ride my skateboard. Bot much scares me because I either see it coming or it doesn’t phase me. It is easy to startle me since I am usually deep in thought. My voice is monotone so people assume I am rude or sarcastic (but I don’t intend to be either of those things unless people ask for it).

I think I said a lot- If you do this request, I truly thank you. /gen

I'll match you with Rin Yamaoka | The Spirit!

You're both shy, smart, and enigmatic. In a way, you remind her of herself (prior to being in the Fog, if that's where you met): she was incredibly hard working and stubborn, yet underneath that she was sweet. She sees a lot of herself in you, and thus feels as if she can be comfortable with you.

Truthfully? She appreciates that not much phases you - whether because you've see it coming, or it just doesn't scare you, it's something she finds relieving as she's, at least in the Fog, not exactly the coziest thing to look at. She'd be much more at ease if she knew you were not off put by her appearance, and were still able to see her as a person.

Rin still is bubbling with the rage she felt when she was attacked - the same rage she felt the night she found her father attempting to kill her mother. The Entity took her in this state, and as a result she is still rife with it. You, being mentally strong and tending to not show emotion, actually works out perfectly: while she can't exactly calm down in the normal sense of the word, you not getting worked up over her emotions does wonders for helping her stay grounded during times where her rage is not needed.

She does not mind your socially anxious nature or (possible) selective mutism; Rin is not, and never has been, much of a talker. The two of you can enjoy each other's company without words, and she's more than understanding if you prefer to spend most of your time with her, away from others.

She startles you a lot, though mostly unintentionally. Keyword being mostly - she does have a bit of a sense of humor, and thinks it's cute when you startle just from her grazing her fingers along your arm, or from her appearing behind you.

(also, you did not mention your sexuality - if you'd prefer a male killer, please let me know and I'll put something together for you!)

[untitled-locket]

Random headcannons about bllk boys

I feel like aiku was very handfull kid,with single mother.

Bachira regularly draws with his mother.his mother also manages art classes 3 times a week.

Aryu probably tried modeling ,but he was judged fairly often,so he dropped out claiming they didn't understand fashion enough.he also has little cousin which he babies alot and gives them shit ton of fashion advice.he has rich aunt vibes.

One time nagi fell asleep on reo's back,so he was responsible for dragging nagi on his back.somebody called police on him ,but he quickly defused situation.

Ryusei glitter bombed pricipals mail box.how did he got his principals address?no one knows.

When Rin was little his mother used to pick out clothes for him.

Sae definitely picked up his gossip skills from Italian lady at hanging from balcony,basically yelling at each other a daily gossip so words can reach one other.

Gagamaru definitely cooked a cockroach at least once to figure out how it tastes(it was fairly decent coming from cockroach) .

Chigiri got mistaken for his sister more than he can count. Also amount of makeover he received from her is unbelievable,he is her practice dummy whenever she wants to try out something new to her face ,but doesn't wanna risk it.he got fairly good skincare.

Asahi is the best babysitter,no questions asked.

Ego was type of student who definitely got pushed around little,because he would say he did all the work in group project.Even if that isn't true he will still do presentation/reading and make it like it was all done by him.

Anri was late blossomer,but u guess that rewarded her very much.

Nikki definitely had that gacha emo phase ,so he did his hair like that for fairly long time and result of that is he can't look at himself the same with his hair up,it just feels weird.he is also a grandma's boy.

Kaiser hates and i mean absolutely despises drunk people and alcohol in general.

Baro still helps older people with daily thing no matter how busy he is.

Keisuke and junichi switched places to pass the tests when they were younger,but failed to notice differences between them even though they look fairly the same.

Tsurugi lied to eye doctor so he could get glasses.few days into it his eyes got used to glasses and that is why he has bad vision now.because he wanted to look smart.

Hiori is wine aunt.

Isagi still watches cartoons.

Karasu is beast at science.

When Otoya was little he learbed that his crush had thing for bad boys.that is why he died his hair and acted like one of those stereotypical bad boys from 90's movies.i can't say it didn't work tho.

Also this isn't headcannon, but it is cannon that Rin is taller than his older brother.

English isn't my first language, so sorry for any mistakes(unedited).