#also sorry I’m answering this so late I just got out of work 💀💀

[milkymooshi]

am i going insane or were we mutuals,.,

Wait are we not mutuals?? My tumblr says we are but this also isn’t my main blog. But like…im pretty sure we are 💀💀💀

You’re like one of the two mutuals I have on here 💀💀

[rivatar]

Pandora’s Hub

Pairing: Adult!Lo’ak x Fem!Human!Scientist!reader

Warnings/content: MDNI 🔞, heavy smut, p in v, outdoor sex & recording (obvi), porn references/simulation, degradation & praising, creampie, flirty man-whore Lo’ak, squirting

A/n: Day 5 prompt (Outdoor Sex + recording) for Pandora’s Glow- hosted by @luvv4j4ybe11 @aperiraa! Sorry it’s a week late, I’ve had so much going on (graduations, weddings, birthdays, etc) but I finally finished this. And ngl it’s filthyyy hehehe🤭. Also I hope you guys get the ‘Pandora’s Hub’ = ‘Pornhub’. Idk I thought it was funny 💀

Dividers by @cafekitsune

W/c: 2.2k

It was a beautiful day on Pandora. Quietly humming to yourself, you made your way towards the forest where you would be collecting photos of many different plants to further your research. The book ‘Pandoran Botany’ that Grace Augustine wrote was literally like your Bible. You spent countless hours working with the other botanists to learn more about these plants and what they are capable of providing. Their beauty and wonder never failed to amaze you.

You’ve spent almost the past week coming out into different spots in the forest to capture photos of plants and try to identify them without looking in the book. Of course, you didn’t stray too far from the lab but each day you ventured out a little further and further, not being able to contain yourself each time you seen a new plant you’d never seen since you arrived on Pandora. But what was the harm, right?

You were crouched down in a spot, carefully focusing the camera on the details of this plant you found.

“What’re you doing out here?” A deep voice startled you, making you jump and gasp, nearly dropping the camera. You whipped around to find the source.

“Oh, Lo’ak,” you blew out a sigh of relief with your hand over your heart, “You scared the shit out of me!”

He laughed, flashing a wide and charming smile, looking at you in amusement. “Sorry, didn’t know you were so jumpy,” he teased with his hands on his hips.

You stood up from your crouch and gave him an eye roll, trying to suppress a smirk.

“Well, what are you doing?” He asked for the second time.

“Oh yeah— I’m just taking some pictures of some plants for my research,” you explained as he nodded in response. “What are you doing?” You threw the question back at him.

He tsked, “Last time I checked you’re on my terrain. Didn’t know I needed a reason to be out here.” He tilted his head at you holding your camera.

“Let me see this,” he snatched the camera out of your hand.

“Hey!” You tried to grab it back but he dangled it way above your head due to his much taller stature. “Be careful with it, Lo’ak, it’s got important stuff on there!” You scolded while jumping up and attempting to get it back. It was to no use, though.

He chuckled and seemed to enjoy teasing you. “Awww, the little human girl can’t reach. Aren’t you just pathetic?” he laughed and feigned pity, poking out his bottom lip in a fake sad expression all while holding you off with one strong arm.

He threw it up in the air and gasped to scare you, only for him to easily catch it with his large hands. Your heart dropped, not wanting the camera to shatter and lose all the photos it possessed.

“Knock it off, Lo’ak!” You shouted angrily and kicked his shin, only to make him bust out laughing.

“You’re so cute when you’re angry,” he kept laughing and petted your head.

“I’m not a fucking child, stop treating me like one!”

“Oh, yeah?” His eyes danced around playfully.

You didn’t answer, you didn’t know if he was still teasing or if it was a trick question. You just stared at him, eyes filled with anger.

He smirked and looked away from you to look at the camera, clicking through its contents.

“Hmm, these are pretty pictures,” he stated observingly, “But Eywa, you would look so much prettier in this camera” he flirted shamelessly.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, trying not to blush. It was no secret Lo’ak has always been a huge flirt.

“Oh please, Lo. Don’t you have anything better to do than flirting with me?” You asked peering up at him with your arms crossed.

He loved you calling him his shortened nickname and how you teased him back. He liked to think you were playing hard to get. All the other girls would’ve already submitted to him by now, but what’s the fun in that?

“Nah, I don’t think I do.” He quipped. “Have you never wondered what you’d look like on here?”

You raised an eyebrow. “What’re you talking about?”

“Like they do back on earth. I think dad called it ‘porn’?” He asked nonchalantly.

Your jaw fell to the ground after you nearly choked on your spit. A blush crept over your features, not being able to hide your blush this time. “Lo’ak! You pervert!” You shoved his stomach and tried acting offended that he would insinuate such a dirty idea.

He chuckled at your reaction. “How am I the perv when you’re the one blushing, huh?”

Your blush deepened, much to your dismay, and you looked down at your feet.

He squatted down to be on your level. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost think you are curious about it” he spoke lowly, and you swore you could feel his breath on your face. He stretched an arm out to pull the strap of your tanktop and bra down your shoulder. Your stomach did flips and you were frozen in place, unable to stop him.

“Tell me you want to,” he demanded, already feeling impatient. “I know you do, I can smell you, but tell me you want it.”

“I-I want it, please,” you gave up your fight easier than you’d like to admit.

“Hmm, good girl. I knew you had it in ya,” he praised, loving that he broke you and won. He turned his attention back to the camera in his hand and pressed a button, making a red light come on in the corner as he pointed the camera towards you.

“Hey everyone, Y/N here is gonna show us how good she can be whenever she’s not bickering like a brat or hiding in that damn lab,” he started, and you blushed and couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“No one is seeing this, Lo.” You made it clear and shook your head, looking at him and not the camera lens.

“Oh, come on! I know that but don’t ruin the fun, baby.” He laughed. His smile faded and lust clouded his eyes, darkening his expression. “Now let’s see you take those clothes off, sevin,” he rasped.

Your heart was racing and you were nervous as hell. Not only because of the thrill of doing anything sexual with this hot Na’vi man, but also the thrill of doing it in on a video?? You were sure your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

Your hands were shaking a little as your reached for the bottom of your tank top, slowly peeling it up to raise it over your head and off. Your nerves made you slower and less confident. You had the first item of clothing off at least, time to tackle the rest.

“C’mon babe, this thing won’t be able to finish our video at the pace you’re going,” he laughed behind the camera, holding it up to his face to make sure you were perfectly centered.

You huffed in frustration and wiggled your shorts and panties off in one quick tug, flinging them off to the side and unsnapped your bra in a swift move as well to be completely naked. “There! Happy?”

He lowered the camera from his face so he could fully take in the sight for his own eyes. “Fuckkkk, yes,” he groaned out deeply, reaching down to palm his tented loincloth that was aching for some relief. His eyes were hooded and ate up every inch of your naked form, licking his bottom lip in the process.

His evident approval made your confidence boost and you didn’t feel as insecure to be exposed in front of him. You rubbed your thighs together as slick coated your pussy lips, you were more than ready for whatever Lo’ak had planned in that dirty mind of his. He chuckled seeing your apparent neediness and untied his loincloth with one hand, the other hand still making sure the camera caught every inch of your glory.

His cock sprung out as the cloth fell to the ground. You couldn’t help your mouth from hanging agape, taken aback by how huge and heavy he was. It took effort to force your eyes off his beautiful erection and back up to his equally beautiful face. He motioned you with his hand. “C’mere, babe.”

You gently walked towards him, waiting for him to make a move. He reached his hand out and grabbed your tit, fiddling with your nipple between his fingers. He smiled when you couldn’t help but hum and whimper in satisfaction. Then he lowered himself in a squat to get on your level and positioned the camera to get a closeup on your boobs.

“Fuck, these are perfect,” Lo’ak said while groping them, “Truly a work of art.” He continued to get all the angles of your breasts while playing with them, making your heart speed up.

Then he lowered himself more, opting to sit on the ground in front of you. Without warning, he hiked up one of your legs and you quickly gained your balance on your standing leg, hands finding rest on top of his head. He angled the camera to get a good view of your pussy as his other hand began playing through your glistening folds, collecting all your slick on his long fingers. You whimpered above him, the rough pads of his fingers bringing much pleasure to you.

He spread your lips apart, gaining a perfect view to your little hole. Looking through the camera, he made sure this stunning view was being captured. You blushed deeply at the way you were being put on display like a pornstar, but it turned you on beyond belief.

“Such a tiny little tawtute pussy,” he hummed and looked up at your eyes, “I’m gonna fuck it so good.”

You clenched around nothing, your one standing leg suddenly growing weak and wanting to give out. “Please Lo’ak!”

“Lay down, now,” he demanded and you wasted no time in rushing your way down to the forest floor, spreading your legs wide open.

“You’re so good. What a good little slut,” he praised you. He grabbed his rock-hard dick and ran it up and down your slit, earning a moan from you. Once again, he held the camera up and made sure it was getting all of this. Your pretty self laid out on display for him and his dick starting to breach your hole. It was nearly too much for him to handle.

Pushing in slowly, you gasped at the stretch and he groaned as you sucked him in your tight walls. He pushed and pushed until he nearly bottomed out, giving you a minute to adjust to his size. “You okay?” He asked, genuinely concerned you might break in half.

“Mhmmm, go, please!” You thought it was more painful with him being still inside of you instead of moving.

He obeyed and started with some short thrusts to get you going. He knew the interspecies differences would make this nearly impossible if you and him weren’t so damn turned on right now.

Squelching noises filled the air as you took him in your pussy so well. Your noises of pleasure only encouraged him more, and he swore to himself he wouldn’t cum until you did.

“Fuck! You’re so fucking wet and tight around me,” he said breathlessly.

“Mmm, feels so good, more!!” You shamelessly begged as he sped up his thrusts.

“God you’re so good at this. Taking me so well.” he groped your tit some more with his free hand, marveling in the way they bounced around from his steady and hard thrusts.

You moaned loudly and felt your orgasm approaching as the pleasure intensified. You reached down to rub your little nub and threw your head back, screwing your face up.

“I bet you’re so wet because you like being recorded, hm? You like being a filthy whore every once and a while?” He degraded you, but he was right, and God, it only turned you on more.

“Yeah everyone, look how she’s rubbing her clit and trying so hard to cum. How pathetic,” he spoke to the ‘audience’. The thought of someone else watching this was all you needed to finish. You came hard around him.

“Fuckkkk!!” You screamed and kept rubbing your nub quickly. You felt warm liquid coat your hand and splash around.

“Holy shit!! We’ve got a squirter!” Lo’ak said in awe and surprise, continuing his thrusts but they got sloppy as his orgasm overtook him too, not being able to hold back anymore at the sight of you squirting on him.

“Shit, I’m cumming!” He announced and came inside of you, somehow finding more room in there to put his cum.

Your combined sounds of pleasure and heavy breaths rang through the air. You were both a sticky mess from sweat and cum.

He lowered the camera and ended the video, laying it to the side as he collapsed on top of you. You were both trying to catch your breath.

“Well, that wasn’t what I had in mind for what I was going today,” he joked.

You snickered. “Yeah. You’re telling me.”

Taglist: @bambithewriter @neteyamssyulang @anemonelovesfiction @professional-yapper @plantgirliewholovespandora @etherynn @nonamevenus @ladykat37 @loakstahni @zafrinaxyz @xylianasblog @xstarsdiary @itchaboi-itchyboy @neteyamsoare @strongheartneteyam @inolaphoenix @erenjaegerwifee @vogueweb (lmk if you wanna be added or removed from taglist!)

[choccy-milky]

Hi! I started reading your story sometime in the last week and I’m OBSESSED! I normally don’t have much patience and can’t get myself to read anything past like 15k or anything that’s still being worked on, but your story hooked me almost instantly! I really liked the description and decided to give it a try and I’m so glad I did. The detailed descriptions you give pull me into the story and the way you seamlessly switch points of view feels so natural. I just wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying reading so far and I’m excited for more! ❤️

AW TYSM😭😭 this means a lot, esp since ive been kinda self conscious about the length of my fic lately (and also how long its gonna end up being once im actually done LMFAO) and ik my chapters have gotten ginormous BAHAHA so im glad that even if you don't usually read long stuff you still gave my fic a try and enjoyed it so much + are looking forward to more!!💖💖so ty again😭🙏 AND as usual i'll be using this to answer other asks:

thank you and AA im glad to hear it!! a lot of people have been telling me ive been inspiring them to draw lately and i love it (im just sorry i dont have any concrete tips to give people other than keep practicing LOL) but good luck and i hope you keep at it!!🥰🥰

GIRL IDK, IDEK HOW LONG THE STORY IS GONNA BE, but assuming im still brainrotted even when its done then YEAH u wouldnt be able to stop me if you tried😊 (im glad you like them so much as well, ty!!😭)

thank you!! and yes i usually have at least a vague idea of what i want in the story before i start, though a lot of it didn't become concrete until i started writing/things evolving from there. i made a big (slightly) vague timeline of the entire fic from beginning to (almost) end, and then i keep fleshing it out from there as the ideas keep coming to me/evolving, and for each chapter i make an even more detailed outline, and THEN i get started on the final chapter. so its a bit of a process bahaha, but the brainstorming is really fun!! as for any advice, im not sure. maybe just brainstorm/write down scenes and ideas that you know for a fact that you want to put in your fic, and then try to find a way to connect them to other scenes from there and work backwards. basically WRITE WHAT YOU WANT TO READ, cuz like im my own biggest fan fr, thats the most important part LMAO

LMFAO speaking of outlining future events.....this may or may not happen in the future/in an epilogue when clora is pregnant and she got those pregnant woman hormones that seb is fighting for his LIFE to keep up with HAHAHA

ive been drawing since i was 4 years old so...a while. LOL. and if you even look back to the beginning of my blog, my first drawings of seb were SO UGLY💀💀 so if you just keep drawing you constantly get better naturally (also in response to the other ask you sent as well, i use clip studio paint to draw!)

AW TYYY. AND YES CLORA WILL HAVE ANOTHER MC MOMENT, the ranrok confrontation is still coming, after all...👀👀 and true, idek who would win if clora and seb duelled again with neither of them holding back, but u are so right. even if clora DID win that would do nothing to change sebs mind about how protective he is LMFAO. THANK YOU AGAIN im glad you like my fic + drawings so much!!💖💖

BAHAHAH in my fic (for smut reasons and so that they could be 17 when they did the nasty) i made clora's bday april 3rd and sebs february 12, so clora is an aries and seb is an aquarius (and yes i just checked and apparently they ARE compatible, so seb can rest. also i just read up on aquarius and damn it unintentionally suits seb so well?? LOL "Aquarius is undoubtedly the most innovative, progressive, rebellious, and humanitarian. " and "They have incredible energy, though they may not always use it wisely. They find it easy to get through life on charm and good looks." LMFAO. ok king we love that

[meetmyothersouls]

💀 surprise me, but not THAT scary please. thank u 🥴💓

Happy first day of Halloween!

I’ve got you babe 🤗 I’m pulling some inspo from the movie Barbarian, and a few others that have a common theme that I’m intrigued by in what I consider “modern horror themes”

Also so sorry, this was supposed to post last night but I fell asleep before I got the chance to post it!

Wrong House

Warnings: slow burn, spooky, flirting, dark themes, adult themes, not proof read.

You pull up to the airbnb that you reserved for yourself a month ago. It’s dark out and also rainy, so you can’t really see the other houses around you and you silently curse yourself for not checking out the area beforehand. Oh well, it’s late and you want to go to bed and get out of these wet clothes that were already drenched from a few minutes of standing in the rain.

You know how these things work, having rented a few air bnbs in the past, however, you never usually do this alone, you’ve usually got a few of your friends or cousins flanking you, keeping you company and easing your anxieties which is exactly what you wish for as you reach in the box that should have contained the key to your rental.

“Fuck,” you say as you pull out your empty hand.

You walk back to your car, mind blank as you think on what to do. It’s too late to call anyone, so you start your car, having come to the conclusion that getting a motel for the night may be your only option.

But a light flipping on in what should be your air bnb grabs your attention. You should turn around, drive to one of the six motels you saw on the way here, but damn it that air bnb is yours! You booked it a month ago, and payed good money for it, so you get out. You march up to the front porch, the rain soaking you all over again, and pound on the door.

“Hello!?” You say as you as you knock against the wood. You hear footsteps thudding through the house, but they aren’t running away or hiding they’re heading toward you. You hear the fast click of the dead bolt unlocking the door followed by the clinking of what sounds like a chain lock.

“Hello?” A man says as he opens the door. He looks tired, like he’d been sleeping before your arrival.

“Uhm hi,” you smile. This is awkward. “Sorry, but I think you’re in the wrong house.”

He rubs one of his eyes and chuckles, but it’s not one of amusement. “What?”

“I rented this airbnb on Vrbo last month, see,” you say pulling out your phone showing him your verification email.

He furrows his brow, takes your phone from you. A long, skinny finger scrolls as the light from your screen illuminates his rather handsome face.

“Listen, I’m not sure what to tell you. I also rented this air bnb about a month ago on Home Away.” He turns motioning further back into the house. “I can grab my phone, show you the receipt.”

He turns around before you answer, but you stop him. “No it’s okay. I’ll go. I passed a few motels on the way over. I’ll call Vrbo in the morning.”

You sigh as you turn around. You kick the water in a puddle as you trudge back to your car. How the fuck can they make this kind of mistake? You’re already stressing over what you’ll say to them on the phone tomorrow when his voice causes you to turn back around.

“Hey, uh, I’m not sure if you’ll get a motel tonight.”

“Why not?” You raise your voice a little as the rain comes down harder.

“There’s some fuckin’ medical convention in town. Everything’s booked.” You run a hand through your hair, and a few fingers catch on some of the tangles. You turn your face up to the sky, it’s requiring a lot of effort to not scream into the night. “Look, the rains picking up. Why don’t you come in, you can call around to some motels, see if they have any vacancies and at least you’ll be out of the rain.”

“Thanks,” you say unlocking your car. “But I think I’ll just call around while I drive.”

“I don’t really like the idea of you driving around at night. Alone. Lots of creeps out here,” he responds quickly. “Come inside where it’s safe.”

You consider his words, and while half of you thinks joining a stranger inside of an air bnb is a terrible idea, the other half of you wants to change your wet clothes and be done with this night, so you grab your bag and walk inside.

——————

After an hour of phone calls, and no vacancies you give up with an exhausted whine. “You were right,” you sigh. “Not one vacancy.”

He’s holding back an I told you so, you can tell, but instead he says “why don’t you stay here. I mean we both paid for this place, there’s no real reason either of us should leave. Stay the night and we’ll call these idiots in the morning.”

“I don’t know,” you say. “I don’t even know your name. And staying inside of an air bnb with a stranger doesn’t seem like the smartest idea. How do I know you’re not some creep?”

He holds out a hand, “my names Timothee. Not a creep.” He’s got a nice smile.

You smile back and shake his hand. He’s charming, too, but you’re still wary. This situation is weird and you don’t plan on letting your guard down anytime soon. “Timothee Not a Creep. I’m y/n.”

“So now we’re not strangers,” he says, still holding onto your hand. He lets it go and walks over the the kitchen.

“Technically we are still strangers.”

“Well what do you want to know. I’m an open book. Wine?” He holds up a bottle with a ribbon on it as he speaks from the kitchen.

“No thanks, I don’t drink.”

“Okay then water?”

You hesitate, not wanting to take a drink from him. “Sure.”

Timothee sits the water down on the coffee table in front of you. You stare at it, but don’t pick it up to drink it. Not yet, you think as you decide to feel this dude out. You inspect if from a far, not being too obvious. It looks like, well it looks like just water. But then again you’re not an expert on how spiked drinks look. Nothing is floating in it or swirling.

“It’s safe,” he says, seemingly reading your thoughts. “I didn’t put anything in it,” he chuckles and you can’t tell if he’s offended or genuinely amused.

“Oh no, I wasn’t thinking that.”

“You can go get your own, I mean if you want to be sure, it won’t hurt my feelings.”

You decide to take a drink, feeling bad for assuming he’d drug you.

It’s silent. Awkwardly so, as you sit and he smiles at you. You crack one back, feeling stupid.

“You should take the bed,” he says, standing up after a too long period of silence.

“Oh no. No. Truly I’d rather sleep on the couch.”

“Why?” He asks, and it catches you off guard.

Because you took his Airbnb, because the couch is closer to the door for an easy escape if needed, because he’s kind of creepy and intriguing all at the same time. “I have a thing about sleeping on dirty sheets.”

Timothee disappears into the bedroom, returning moments later with arms full of bedding. You hear the washer open and the soft shuffle of blankets and sheets being loaded in. He starts the washer and reappears in the living room.

“Problem solved.” He smiles and it’s cute. “Though we’ll have to stay up until they’re done washing and drying.”

———————

It takes a collective hour for the bedding to completely wash and dry. In that hour you and Timothee talk and get to know each other. You find yourself able to loosen up. You tell Timothee things you’ve told few others and he listens.

He’s a great listener.

You even take a few sips of his wine. You don’t like it but you feel content. Happy.

“Wait, wait, wait,” you say holding up your hands. “There’s no way you think I Know What You Did Last Summer is better than Scream. There’s now way!”

“Okay listen! Hear me out!” He stands up and walks around the coffee table to explain. “If you look at it from a filming standpoint you-”

The loud beep from the dryer sounds, interrupting Timothee’s speech.

“Guess that’s you’re sheets.”

“Yeah I guess so.” You check the time on your phone. 12:30am. “Fuck it’s late. We should get to bed anyway.”

“I’ll help you with your sheets,” he says. “Unless that’ll make them dirty again.”

He’s teasing you and you kind of like it. “I’d love your help, you jerk.”

Timothee disappears for a moment and reappears with an arm full of bedding. He jerks his head toward the hallway and you follow him into your new room.

It’s dark and smells faintly of old wood. Kind of like an antique shop. Timothee helps you with the fitted sheet and the pillow cases before heading toward the door.

“It was nice meeting you, y/n. I’m sorry they fucked up your reservation, but I’m kinda glad they did.”

He’s making you feel all fuzzy inside and half of you wants to ask him to stay in the room with you tonight, but you don’t do instead you say, “me, too.”

He smiles a big smile that’s extremely cute, but kind of shy and sad all at the same time.

“Goodnight, y/n.”

“Goodnight, Timothee.”

————————

You jolt awake and it’s still dark outside.

3:15am.

You’ve only been asleep for a few hours, but the dreams you were having were…strange and you can’t sleep now.

You turn on the lamp on the bedside table and for whatever reason you notice a wallet on the dresser in front of the bed. Curious, you get up and grab it, bringing it back to your bed. It’s old, worn out leathers. Soft after years of use. The corners are tattered and tiny pieces of blue fluff from Timothee’s jean pockets are stuck to it. This makes you smile. You open it up and his New York ID pokes out of the top of one of the pockets. You shouldn’t be going through his stuff, but the Airbnb shouldn’t have made the mistake that they did, and you shouldn’t have drank wine earlier. Lots of things that shouldn’t have happened happened. So you continue to pull it out. You smile immediately at his ID photo. His curly hair looks soft and it sticks out in a variety of directions. You silently curse yourself for not touching it a few hours ago. His smile is that big one he gave you before exiting the bedroom for the night. Goofy and slightly shy. You shake your head, unable to believe that you’re falling for someone you’ve only spent a few hours with and don’t even really know. You move to slide it back in but something catches your eye underneath his photo.

Chills pepper your skin as you read the dates on his drivers license.

DOB: December 27th, 1958.

Issue Date: December 27th, 1985.

What the fuck?

You look at your phone, checking the date incase you’re still fucking dreaming.

October 1st. 2022.

There’s no way this guy is 64 years old. There’s no fucking way. He looks exactly like he did in his ID photo from the 80s!

Immediately, you Google his name.

At first nothing comes up and you almost give up, but page two of Google reveals many articles with Timothee’s name in it.

You click one.

-Suspected Suicide of a young New York male by the name of Timothee proves to be more.

- Suicide or Murder? Young New York local found dead in quiet neighborhood.

-Who killed Timothee? Was it him or was it someone or something more sinister.

You throw your phone as you hear his voice.

“Y/n?”

He sounds far away, like he’s rooms away. But you’re in the only bedroom.

You don’t answer.

And it’s eerily quiet.

“Y/N HELP ME.”

This time it booms through your room and it sounds like it’s coming from under your bed.

Tags: @imnotoverlyobsessive @dayafied @soulofendlessbook @fashphotolife @chicchanelcigs @scentedkittenperfection @weasleytwinscumslut @timotheel0ver @mxciscastleintheair @marvelmaniac2000 @lovelyrocker @divine-1 @louievr @love-poems-only @starberry-cake @inlovewithphantasy @alexagirlie @misswestfall @softhecreator @livresjaunes @timmymyluv @inannamoon @harrys-thick-thighs @s-we-e-t-t-ea @timolaurence @its-schmackin-dude @justagirlwhoneedshelp @gatoenlaciudad @patronsaintofthetwinks

[lumin3sc3]

Note: Late birthday fic for Scars, sorry if its bad lmao 💀. Also I wasn't sure what names to use for him so I've jus used his past names so yeah.

Warnings: Spoilers for the following content: wanderer teaser, archon quest 3.3. Scaramouche backstory (that's it for story spoilers I think? lmk if I need to add more). As for content warning: angst but dw there's fluff. Expect grammatical errors. Reader's gender isn't mentioned, so you can see this as whatever gender you'd like.

The Marionette's Heart

The Wanderer has gone by numerous titles and names. Though he wouldn’t call them names per se, since after his downfall he no longer wanted to be attached to or remembered by them, But you were the first to give him a name—not any ordinary name, but something meaningful. Something he could finally call his own, like his glowing vision, which he wished was his heart.

You and the Wanderer were traveling partners. And even friends, you’d say! (Though he denies that wholeheartedly, blatantly ignoring the minuscule fuzzy feeling in his chest.) Though you two acted like you despised each other’s existence, you and he seemed to work in harmony.

And before he knew it, the florets of love began blooming in his chest. "When did he realize he was in love?" you may wonder. But here's the tricky part: He had no idea. Maybe it was gradual? Maybe it was when you complimented his cooking while he was yelling at you to eat faster and then wash the dishes, or when you played a song hoping he'd like it and got that small nod and your ecstatic grin in return. Or maybe it's your happy laughs and lovely words laced with love and affection. You were always kind to everyone around you, including him. As a close friend of the traveler, you were well aware of the stories that came with this mysterious wanderer, even when you first agreed to journey with him. Once he realized this, he was astonished. Whenever he’d think of that, he’d scowl. Why would anyone, in their right mind, ever care for someone so arrogant and rude? And to give them all of your affection? Preposterous.

But Scaramouche is aware of his actions; he is aware that he does not deserve the love you lavish on him nor does he deserve the comfort you provide when he lashes out at you.

Everyone thinks of him as a person who’s just being nice because he’s doing it against his will or because of Nahida. which is true, he’ll admit. But it might be just you that he’s genuinely happy with; he’s never bothered to indulge in idle conversations or listen to anyone talk about their day unless it’s you. He oddly seems to remember every detail and point it out the next time—something you may not recall.

Now, he doesn’t really know how to go about this complicated situation, but he seeks advice from Nahida. She says that he doesn’t have to overthink it, and so long as he gets the point across, you’ll understand, it’s the thought that counts after all. Since your birthday was nearing, Nahida suggested taking you to a simple place and confessing.

And so it was your birthday, and your friends surrounded you, singing songs, giving you gifts, and showering you with affection and praise. You couldn’t wish for more. Amidst the chaos, your eyes scanned the room for a certain indigo-haired man; unfortunately, your efforts were in vain, and you looked back to the ground slightly dejected. Once the celebration had died down, you went outside to get some fresh air, where you saw a familiar face leaning against the wall, seemingly waiting for someone.

"Hey!!" You wave blithely, which attracts the attention of the man. It was none other than your friend, the Wanderer.

"Oh, there you are; I was waiting for you." He answered. You raise an eyebrow curiously.

He doesn’t wait for you to comment and drags you away, mumbling about how he wanted to show you a place.

Once you two reach the destination, your eyes widen to the size of saucers, in front of you was an absolutely breathtaking view.

"I’m aware your friends had a party of sorts prepared for you. So I know this isn’t much compared to that."

You were on top of a building, it seems. You walk towards the railing, as you lean on it, the cold metal makes you shiver slightly. Scaramouche joins you as he leans on the railing, the only distance separating the two of you being the hat atop his head.

The sky was spread out in front of the two of you. The orange gold that stretched far and wide, with tinges of purple hiding behind it, The sun blossomed in bright shades of orange or red. There were clouds as well, masking the mountains behind them; you could feel the warmth radiating from the sun as it gleamed. Your face aglow with rays of sunlight. The sunset looked gentle and prepossessing. as if it had been painted just for the two of you.

"It’s beautiful. Thank you." Your face adorns a lovely smile.

The wanderer swallowed hard before mustering the courage to approach you in slow strides, and you looked at him with suspicion.

"I... have something to say." He starts, his eyes darting back and forth, restless.

"Is something wrong?"

"I..." he pauses, as if an invisible force is choking him and preventing him from speaking.

"I might have caught feelings for you. It's absurd to have feelings for a mere human. But you’re not an ordinary one." He justifies himself.

You were taken aback—all this time he had been in love with you! You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea that he shared the same feelings as you. But that didn’t stop the immense euphoria you felt. It was as though your heart would’ve jumped out of your chest with the way it was beating so loudly and at such a quick pace.

You clasped his hands in yours; they were cold yet so soft and delicate. Intertwining your fingers within his, you stared into his blue eyes; they reminded you of an inky midnight sky.

"I love you too." You say gently, and he swears something in him changed; his mouth felt dry; he had no sarcastic remarks, snarky comments, nothing. His thoughts were running in circles.

Scaramouche does not believe in having someone to love or care for. He’s never held his trust in anyone, and he’s learned to build an iron wall around his emotions, making sure he’d never have to feel betrayed ever again.

until you came along. You made him question his morals; you spun his world upside down before he even acknowledged it.

... but he’s petrified; he endured three betrayals before to have realized the world was an elaborate tapestry of lies.

The first was given to him by a god, his creator, his own mother. The second was his friend, whom he considered family. And the third was a child like him, promising to be by his side as he betrayed Scaramouche, powerless in the face of mortality.

So what's to say you wouldn't be the fourth?

You were staring at him, eyes drinking in all of his features; his hair was dark and soft, falling over the frame of his face perfectly. His skin was delicate and smooth, similar to that of porcelain, and his eyes were glassy and overflowing with unknown emotions. His cheeks were sprinkled with rosy blush, and his lips were soft and plump, in the prettiest shade of pink. The moonlight reflected on his skin, enhancing every feature and making him look downright ethereal. It was as though he had been crafted by the gods themselves. But your admiration was cut short as you heard him speak up,

"You…love me?" His voice was slightly hoarse, and his eyes were sad.

"Yes, of course, why wouldn’t I?"

"But after all that I’ve done, you know who I am, yet you chose to see me as someone you can love?" His voice was starting to falter. And before you knew it, tears welled up and fell through his long eyelashes. They were streaming onto his face uncontrollably as his figure trembled. His fear of betrayal had given way to insecurity.

You cupped his cheek, asking him, "Hey, don’t cry. You know I love you, all of you. It doesn’t matter who you’ve been in the past or who you’ll be in the future. It matters who you are in the present, and you’ve changed. You aren’t defined by your past, so don’t let it change or overwhelm you. And I love you for who you are, not who you were."

He didn’t know what he did to deserve someone as amazing as you.

You brought him closer to you and connected his lips with yours. His lips were soft and loving, making you feel as though you were on cloud nine.

And that’s when he heard a small sound from his chest. His heart was beating for the very first time. He was a marionette with an empty , hollow space for a heart. Yet here he was, hearing his own heartbeat synchronized with yours. He felt ecstatic; it was all he wanted and all he wished for. and there it was!

When you parted your lips, he muttered,

"I..love you."

"Now that wasn’t so hard to say, was it?" You giggled.

"Shut up. Don’t make me regret everything I said, idiot."

"Love you too, Kuni," you say as you pull him into a warm embrace, laughing as he spat out more angry comments. What you failed to notice was the small smile that danced on his lips.

His heart would beat for you. Only you.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚

A/n: this was suppose to be short but I got carried away, I apologize 😭. I kinda got stuck in between, so sorry if it isn't rly that good. But yes, if you did enjoy it, rb's and interactions are appreciated!

Anyway, thanks for reading till the end, have a good day and take care <3!!

[yoonia]

Hi again Dia! You’ve probably gotten a million questions like this one but do you have any writing tips for beginners? Or ways to improve your writing? I’d like to write my own fanfics one day and I also have several outlines (including my commissions) that have never seen the light of day (at least, not yet). I’ve even attempted to write some stuff in the past. The problem is though is that I end up getting stuck and eventually give up because I either have trouble writing good dialogue (and making sure it’s distinguished and everyone’s in character (depending on what I’d like to write)), I unintentionally come up with more than one plot for a fic or a character (or character archetype) that are too identical, or I get worried about sounding repetitive (from character description to anything else in general). Truthfully though, writing isn’t my strength or passion. It’s just a hobby for me I’d like to develop more, really. But if you have any time, I’d appreciate if you had any tips and advice for beginner’s writing😊

Also, somewhat off topic but I got a suggestion. For any future smut scenes, I think it would be absolutely hilarious if you ever wrote a scene (maybe for like in motion or any other fics that feature bdsm themes) with smutty stuff happening with (whatever member) and OC while the latter’s being tied up. But then all of a sudden OC says the safe word. (Member’s name) mood changes entirely and he gets concerned/worried for a bit and asks OC what’s wrong. But it turns out OC just has a really bad itch (but she can’t scratch herself because of her position (obviously lol)) so she asks him to scratch her. Which kills the mood for a second, but I bet readers would be absolutely dead. I’m not usually open when it some to smutty stuff. HOWEVER, you can’t tell me a shenanigan like that would never happen, fictional or real life 😂💀

Hello! I’m so sorry for replying so late. It’s been a rough week for me with my, um…health problem and then trying to catch up with work, so I wanted to wait until I could sit down to answer this properly. 

Yes, I’ve gotten some questions about writing before but I don’t mind sharing! There are two ways that I personally follow to improve my writing. 

reading

lots of practice

By reading, you’ll get to see for yourself what type of genre you’ll be interested in getting into and what kind of writing style that works for you. Reading can also improve your vocabullary, to learn more about worldbuilding, and it may help you find your own narrative “voice”. 

I actually just had a similar talk about this with some friends. It always works better for a writer to write in genres that they are interested in and when they already read other works written in that genre before. It helps you see what about the stories written in that genre that gets people interested in reading and to learn some of the tropes, prompts, and maybe the lores that are known in that genre which you can use as a guide to create your own story/universe you’re building. 

By practicing, you’ll get to see what YOUR writing style looks like and what works for you in narrating your story. You can start small with your practice. Try to begin by writing down your premise, or write down your raw idea in a brain dump setting to see that idea in written form to later organise it into a premise or an outline. 

Sometimes it helps if you write your idea and create a summary or a story synopsis  because you get to see your idea formed into a story

I’ve looked into your outlining for EANA and I think the way you did it was already great for a start. I personally started that way too, with bulletpoints to organise the ideas and scenes before developing them and mapping them into a storyline. You can continue doing that with your story ideas and use it as practice. But try to make a more compact structure with your bulletpoints if you want to practice how to keep your plot from running wild and switching into a different one in the middle of your writing process.

I’ve shared a quick look at my own writing process (more simplified than what I’ve shared on Patreon) which you might be able to follow on this post. There, you’ll see different steps of writing from beginning (plotting, first draft, etc) to editing. I hope this can help you with your practice, but feel free to ask me if you find some steps that are too confusing to follow :) 

You know, I also had problems with dialogues from time to time. I struggled with it when I first started writing so don’t feel bad about it. Someone told me in the past that we mostly struggle with dialogues because we often unable to see the characters speaking as themselves while imagining them using our own voice. 

Try to voice their dialogue out loud when you are writing them. That way you can ‘feel’ it when your dialogue seems too awkward or stiff and you can make it flow better by acting it out as an actual dialogue.

Fyi, I’ve been preparing to bring back my writing class on my Patreon, so I’m hoping that I can share a more in depth writing process with some practice sheets that everyone can follow and use to practice their writing skills (though I must warn that I’m not an expert, so this might just be helping you start if you’re a beginner writer haha) 

Speaking of having odd shennanigans in smut scenes, I’ve actually thought of it from time to time but I’ve shared about it before (on twitter/X, I think?). Trust me, while smut scenes are written perfectly in most stories/fics as if there’s no faulty could happen while people are in the middle of it, these things could happen in real life. A lot. I know from experience lol. So adding shennanigans in smut stories may probably bring up some reality in it instead of ruining it. 

[fatuismooches]

Hello smooches, its been a while. I hope that you are doing well (also pls don't push urself too hard) 🙏 sorry for disappearing (again) and not answering ur question since i'm taking the past few weeks to recuperate from my illness, and now i feel a lot better! The doctors said that i can finally go back home around mid-April to early May after 6 more examinations (i really want to go back home, i'm dead bored staying in this glass room 💀 bcs i can't do anything besides watching doctors and nurses going back and forth, reading fics, watch yt videos and play games on my phone)

Okay, now back to ur question about "have i watch the theory about Capitano being the Bloodstained Knight" and the answer is yes, i watched and read a LOT of that theory around the internet. Its really fascinating! Also, there are some theories that Capitano is Imunlaukr from Sal Vindagnyr (iirc its from Dragonspine?) One of the founding clans of Mondstadt. And then there's "Menogias (the Geo Yaksa) = Capitano" Theory too. There are a lot of theories about him still going around to this day 😂 and i just consume all of it

Also //leaks\\

have u seen some Capitano crumbs on Mika's character story going around lately? When he saw Capitano, even with that helmet of his, it is described that Capitano have "eerily dark blue eyes that 'glows' with an uncanny aura". His EYES literally "GLOWS" 😶 at this point, is he even a human now?? 😭 mans got that "glow in the dark" eyes. That is REALLY cool but also very scary.

Just imagine u were walking in Snezhnaya's forest at night trying to find some wood for ur kitchen fuel and then u accidentally came across this man, looking straight into ur soul with his glowing dark blue eyes 💀💀

I think i'll have a massive brainrot over this newfound info about him omg u give me a small 🤏 crumb about him, i'll go feral and unable to sleep at night and will thinking about him non-stop for WEEKS 😭 (i think i understand why my siblings wanted me to stop playing Genshin until i fully recover lol 😅)

Anyways, i really hope u have a very nice day and don't forget to take care of yourself smooches 🛐💞 i can't wait to see more of ur works and random rambles with other anons and users!

-🥝

HI MY LOVE!!

I’m so glad to see you in my messages again💕🙏 And don’t even worry about it, I’m very happy you’re doing better and don’t push yourself either☺️☺️

Hehe I should have known you watched it, you are literally the Capitano connoisseur 😅!! I never heard of those over two theories until now, I read a bit up on them and I would have never thought of that… I still like the Bloodstained Knight one the best. It sounds the most possible to me…

*Mika Character story leaks below (it’s just one detail abt Capitano tho😭)

I actually didn’t know until you told me😭😭 I’m surprised no one is really talking about it BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY AMAZING???!! CAPITANO CRUMB HELLOOO? I’m so glad we know his eye color now, it’s only a little piece of info but I still devoured it🙏 I genuinely cannot wait for an official art/cutscene with the glowing eyes, he’ll look so majestic! And tbh, I’m not sure, I think he may be human but with an extended lifespan? Either way he’s so…😍😍 But yes you’re so right I’d be panicking so hard if I just saw him staring at me like that.

But ahem… imagine those eerie eyes become soft when he looks at you 🥺 I can’t help but think about his normally narrowed analyzing eyes that usually scares everyone become gentle with you. At first he didn’t even know he did that until you pointed it out 💞 He gets embarrassed about the things he does unconsciously around you 💞I also have this random hc that when he gets shy he clears his throat embarrassedly 

I’ll definitely be brainrotting with you over this 🥝 anon omg he’s so cute🥺. But WAIT MAKE SURE TO GET YOUR SLEEP OKAY YOU NEED THAT!!😭💗💗ILYYYY I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY TOOOOO <33

[rainbow-tazer]

Yes it is that time again where it's late, I'm high, and I got particular thought keeping me up, this time it's beef jerky guy. With the recent video floating around of some chick checking to see if her bf actually used soap to wash himself it has made me relive the memories of beef jerky guy.  

Back in my younger days I want to say around 18 to 19 I hung out with a group that made incredibly questionable choices. I would pretty much hang out and party with these guys every single day if I wasn't at college I was hanging out with them and when I got home from college I spent the night's drinking with them. So the main couple of the group had texted me to come hang out one night and I got in the car not really knowing what we were doing just down for anything like always. They started out by warning me "hey we got to go pick up someone and drop them off somewhere, but just so you know they smell really bad"

I was like "what do you mean like how bad??"🤨

Immediately the girlfriend was like "oh my God like actually horrible I'm so sorry you have to be that back there with him like I would kill myself" 😭

at the time all I could think was damn there's no way it could be that bad she has to be exaggerating right? than she added “like its crazy we are about to pimp out this dude, he has a huge cock so girls pay to sleep with him despite his smell” he boyfriend shot her a look like girl we discussed this which she responded “what she's gonna see the girl hand you the money anyways” meanwhile I'm just sitting in the back of the car like .... “WE ABOUT TO DO WHAT?!” 😰. 

The boyfriend then explain to me that the guy is his really close friend and despite his terrible smell women still pay to sleep with him because his Ding-A-Ling is just that grand. So they had worked out a deal where the boyfriend would drive this dude the places he needed to go to have sex with these women, and in exchange the boyfriend would get half whatever he got paid.

 so we go to pick up the guy and the minute this man enters the car I shit you not my eyes started watering, this dude was fucking foul 🤢. the girlfriend was in no way exaggerating the putrid smell that leaked from this man, was only a smell I could describe as beef jerky being left out in the sun for months. Hence the name I coined for him being “beef jerky guy” partly because i could not for the life of me remember this guys name and kept thinking his name was Kyle for some reason 😅. They were nice enough up front to crack the window in the back which i was using as my only source of oxygen for the whole ride, oh believe me i was gasping as i could see the fumes rolling off him towards me. Finally we pulled up to this dark ass park where this lady walked up to the car payed the boyfriend and walked off over into the darkness of the nearest playground with beef jerky guy 💀. This man smelled so bad i genuinely needed answers like his smell haunts me, I don't care how big his dick is idk how anyone fucked that dude without a gas mask let alone would pay for such an experience.

Immediately i was like this man must not have access to a working shower or have crippling depression right? nope as they explained which was later confirmed when i went to his apartments (because he had to get the drug he was making in the oven out before they exploded, you know normal stuff) that he indeed did own a working shower. Also the guy did not have crippling depression as it turned out this dude was just as they had originally described “a hippie mf who didn't wash his ass”. Apparently everyone in his life brings it up, but i suppose when you have a big dick you get the confidence to stop washing your ass😭💀

[leossmoonn]

you being new at Nelson and murdock and you and matt have a relationship like jim and pam do in the early seasons and foggy basically is your biggest shipper 💀💀

STOP OKAY I really love it when y’all mix The Office with other shows for concepts and requests and stuff it just 😭😭😭 UGH. yes. Anyways

————

The way Matt never gets any work done now that you’re working there. He is always at your desk flirting with you.

“Is that a new perfume?” He asks. “It is,” you grin. “You noticed.” “Of course I did. You’re the only good smelling thing in this office,” he smiles.

Foggy literally has to pull Matt away from you so they can do work. Now yes Foggy ships yalll so much, he us your number one fan, but he also has a job to do and so does Matt. BUUUUT when it’s a really slow day and you guys basically have nothing to do, Foggy will play matchmaker

If you’re walking with a cup of coffee, Foggy will purposely bump into you spill it onto Matt’s clothes. You’re so mad at Foggy but Matt assures you it’s okay (Matt knows Foggy’s tricks and is happy to indulge in them).

“I’m so sorry, Matt. I- here I’ll run down to the store and buy you a new shirt. Can you answer the phones for a little bit? I promise I’ll be just a few minutes —”

“It’s okay, Y/n. Really. Luckily I have an extra shirt in my bag.”

Okay we all know Foggy made you spill coffee on Matt’s shirt so then you can see Matt’s incredible body and drool over him too. Foggy also drools over him. Who can blame him? Omg but the first time you saw Matt shirtless you had to take a triple take. Who knew Mr. Seven Hours (thank you Jess for that nickname) was so ripped. Like MY GOD you just wanted to hold those strong arms of his and lick down his chest and trace his abs and — oops hehe I got too carried away 🥰

One night y’all are at a work party and you arrive a little late bc you were stressing over what to wear. And you weren’t even worried about the other people, you were worried abt Matt. Which was funny bc he cant see you, but you wanted to smell nice and look nice still, bc you swear he can tell what you’re wearing lol. You walk into the party and Matt immediately notices. He can pick you out of a line up of like 200 girls, mark my words.

He has Foggy describe how you look and Matt just is ready to fall to his knees and kiss your feet lol.

UGH AND REMEMBER THE WHITE ELEPHANT GAME?? Yes so that happens and you guys have a little Christmas party with Karen and some friends and Matt is so worried bc his gift was specifically for you. He ends up getting it and by the end of the night he gives it to you. (The gift is whatever you want basically) and you’re so touched and you hug him tightly. And you’re about to kiss him. God, you’re so close to him it would be so easy, but you two get interrupted by Karen who then is like “oh shit why did I come over here rn?”

But all rest assured, you two finally got together. After many months of painful pining

[minwooks-moved]

was tagged by the lovely @chamhwis to answer some cute questions ♡

favorite time of the year? : hmmm…. probably spring !! but more specifically toward the end as it’s usually like . the perfect temperature outside to sit outside and it isn’t too terribly rainy — that, and all the flowers & trees being bloomed/awake…. shows a new beginning for life that’s really just so lovely <3

comfort food? : my momma’s chili !! something about is just so <3 warm(outside the obvious jfbffj) <3 either that or fudge brownies <3 i learned how to make them quite a few years ago, so the process of making them also helps me feel better ^^

do you collect anything? : ahhh, i casually collect quite a lot of different things, but for the sake of simplicity … jdbfjf — i collect albums, bracelets/scrunchies/hair-ties, and flannels <3 spending money on myself isn’t like . really fun to me rn unless i really, really want something jfbjf — so i’m picky about what albums i wanna buy when i have the opportunity ! gotta really like the album / concepts for the album for me to really wanna spend the $25(or more) on them <3 so, i don’t really collect for specific members / albums. just having the album by itself is fun for me — will say it’s super cute to see others collect like . certain members & such ^^

favorite drink? : right now it’s sweet tea !! and lemonade — particularly strawberry lemonade <3

current favorite song? : hmmm…. because i’m me and can’t pick just one, i’ll share three which are: wat.1(mcnd), burning bridges(sigrid), and loved you(bae173) <3 [special mentions: bottom of the ocean(golcha), humph!(wsjn), & love you when you’re gone(daya)]

favorite colors? : green + blue + purple !!

last song? : beautiful by ikon <3 !

last series? : going to b real honest & say i don’t watch like … a whole lot of tv these days but . i got halfway(i think anyway) through the first part of the new of stranger things season (before the second part came out) & then just . didn’t really wanna watch it anymore for reasons / i just forgot 😵‍💫😵‍💫 ( i have been slowly watching / catching up on right! just THAT! on yt .. but i don’t think that counts djdbdbd )

last movie? : uhhhhh…. i think it was the new batman movie months upon months ago ?? though it could’ve also been the exorcist — a watch which i very much regret giving my time to as like . i actually hate that movie 💀 i get why it’s a classic but also… relied too much on shock factor + was also too slow-paced for me :< ( i don’t watch a whole lot of movies either .. in case you didn’t notice fjfbjfn )

sweet, savory, or spicy? : sweet !! i have a big sweet-tooth … not quite to a fault as i do try to keep myself in check here lately, but .. a lot of foods i often crave / want have a bit of sweetness to it(somewhere ….) .

current craving? : really, really craving some type of apple cinnamon / just cinnamon treat — like apple pie or a cinnamon roll <3 & i really miss my friends rn :( i haven’t seen them in person since like . the s..kz tix debacle :,)

thing you’re currently working on? : one/two of the other prompts for the vity gtkm thing !! and also editing ciiphrs teasers for blind <3

tagging the stunning @soonyouns @soonwnu @cyatual @hoshranghaes @seohopeful @seungyounchoz @sinzational & anyone else who sees and wants to answer them too ~ 💓 ( no pressure to anyone tagged to do it btw !! totally optional 💞 also sorry if you’ve already been tagged fjfbfjf )

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ray

Joe: [Okay so I think Car A should be Tess, Joe, Bea & Tommy and Car B should be Fearghal, Fraze, Ray, Ali & Ro, a mix of older kids but also some blatant divide and conquer going on there]

Joe: Have you got [Tommy’s fave toy moment] in your car, he’s throwing an eppy

Joe: as if you’re gonna be able to see over the piles of crap

Ray: I can’t see or scoot past the rows of judgy doll eyes

Ray: but if I brave it bury me back the way we came from

Ray: not there

Joe: 👁👄👁 👁👄👁 👁👄👁 👁👄👁

Joe: I’m not arsed about stopping him 🎧🔊

Joe: they’d not have you

Joe: got to pick a side to be buried with

Joe: ‘less dad wants to go back to everything he said he never would 📿✝️

Ray: they’re proper haunting and haunted 👻👿💀 crossing myself is the least I’ve gotta do to make it

Ray: someone’s arsed enough to force you to ask me and it’s an easy pick who is

Joe: what do you mean Bea isn’t the caring type

Joe: mum’s just fuming ‘cos she picked Tommo to avoid the hissy fits

Ray: it’s not Tommo’s fault it’s too late to go back

Ray: and the perfect time for her to open her gob to complain cos of

Joe: not his, nah

Joe: though be a shame if there’s nothing more important to hoy in the sea as we go over

Ray: knew picking clarinet over swimming was a mistake

Joe: 72.2 miles

Joe: clarinet doesn’t give you that good lung control

Ray: could be brawling Fraze for oxygen did

Ray: you dunno what I’m capable of

Joe: full of hot air, I’ll give you

Joe: I know plenty but I also know we’re fucked

Ray: 🎈🎈🎈🎈

Ray: not as fucked as Bea so nobody cares

Joe: if fresh start gets said one more time I’m gonna puke

Ray: when she’s pulling the string out her back it’s the only phrase mum can say

Ray: smart if you aim at them both with your puke

Joe: gutting even Tommo is fed up of the catchphrase

Joe: 🐦🐤☄️

Ray: we wouldn’t feel as outnumbered if that was right

Ray: joke them all believing it’s gonna be 🌈💰☘️🧚🏻

Joe: least the little ones only are

Joe: as for the rest of ‘em

Joe: 😵😵😵😵

Ray: dead sly agendas, everyone

Joe: none of their problems gonna follow ‘em on the ferry, ‘course, fuck causing a load

Ray: 70 mile limit?

Joe: fair who from the estate could even get Holyhead

Joe: still, Bea’s still going to have loads wrong with her, dunno why we’re pretending otherwise

Ray: 👮 but we’re pretending to be a family that don’t matter to now

Ray: 😇😇

Joe: your right, confirmations incoming

Joe: be nice not triple-locking, that’s about the lot, they can calm it with the 💭

Ray: speak for yourself, I’ll be after more locks not less

Ray: part of the fresh start is her feet under the table instead of acting like she’s pure 😇

Joe: ain’t gonna play you a 🎻 for your roomie when he’ll still be mine, as well as Tom

Ray: you don’t have the elbow room

Ray: and I don’t feel sorry for you cos he was my roomie first before bailing to sleep on the settee was an option

Joe: he’d be made up to swap with you now 😘😘

Ray: 🤮 shut it!

Joe: it is sick though

Joe: no joke

Ray: yeah

Ray: but putting them in separate cars will solve it

Joe: got all the answers these 2

Joe: so don’t ask ‘em nothin’

Joe: they think it’s a joke now but won’t be if she changes her mind and dobs him in next

Ray: “Are we there yet?” is coming out of them two too often for me to get a word in if I wanted to

Ray: you don’t properly think that’s what she’s gonna do, do you?

Joe: surprised you can hear over whatever tunes dad is cranking out

Joe: not like it’s her plan

Joe: s’what I’m saying, she’s messed up though and he’s too stupid to be careful

Ray: she’s not too stupid to work out she’d have to keep her mouth shut whatever happens though

Joe: I’m telling you, wouldn’t be her getting in trouble

Ray: she’d still have to pack her bags

Joe: don’t get ideas, like

Joe: it’s all been well finalised by now

Joe: hence the 🚢

Ray: not my 💡 those bright sparks started it

Joe: none of them are going to do anything about it though

Joe: acting like it’s normal to start calling her sister instead and it’ll all work out

Ray: where we gonna move to when everyone works out how not normal they are?

Joe: i’d say back but

Joe: i’m not gonna join in the bullshitting flying about

Joe: fuck knows

Ray: somewhere where marrying your sister is sound

Joe: long as they’re happy 👸🤴

Ray: who died to make her 👑?!

Joe: beside her nan 😏

Ray: and parents

Joe: you’ll have hours to work out how to get yours off the side the ferry

Ray: long as they send us back not to irish nuns

Joe: I’ll break you out

Ray: wait til I've done my 😁 mugshot but then go for it

Joe: if you wanna stay with the sisters

Joe: won’t be comfy as the sofa

Ray: there’s my fresh start

Ray: don’t have to be left out

Joe: oh, cheers 👍

Ray: write to me with any complaints

Joe: alright, no blaming us when you end up buried in the garden ‘cos you’re talking to a lad

Ray: asking for it if I expect talking to a lad to make me feel better about how shit everything is

Joe: that’s the spirit

Joe: there’s nowt that’s fixing this

Ray: maybe the boat’ll sink

Joe: how much we’ve packed

Joe: head down to third class 💀

Ray: 💃

Joe: you wish Leo was coming to save you

Ray: I just said a lad can’t

Joe: he’ll be heartbroken, like

Ray: I was before he appeared, like

Joe: I know

Joe: we’ll think of something

Ray: it’s bullshit we’re the ones who have to

Ray: I didn’t fucking ask for a fresh start, I’d made my old life as class as I could already

Joe: We can make them see it’s not going to work

Joe: it might take a bit but they can’t ignore us forever just ‘cos the rest are buzzing

Ray: as if they ain’t ignored worse

Joe: not saying we can go easy with it

Joe: but maybe you’re right

Ray: nah I’m not

Ray: I don’t wanna be

Ray: you be right

Joe: be nice to think they gave a shit but the evidence ain’t there

Joe: it’s going to be so shit

Ray: school will

Ray: but every tourist who shows up in Dublin can’t be an idiot, there’s gotta be something to recommend it

Ray: when we find it we’ll stay there with it until the last possible sec

Joe: we’ll sack it off as much as we can

Joe: if they gave a shit about us getting an education they’d have left us to it

Ray: 🎸 would’ve been smarter to busk for a few quid

Ray: how long do you reckon it’d take me to learn?

Joe: do you think they have the same programmes here

Joe: so we can get our instruments back

Ray: Jesus, I was messing round but what the hell are we gonna do if kids there honestly only wanna learn 🎸?

Joe: or the harp, fiddle and fucking bodhran

Joe: you might get away with nicking a clarinet but I’m fucked

Ray: oh yeah, I’ll stick it under my coat and pray nobody looks twice at the sight of me, that’ll work a treat

Joe: Leg of your joggers like the pissheads with a bottle

Joe: don’t say I never taught you nothing

Ray: your joggers maybe, mine fit me how they’re meant to

Joe: then you’re welcome in advance, tah

Ray: I don’t wanna teach myself, I dunno if I can

Joe: I’d ask her but

Joe: I don’t want you to hear last thing on her mind

Joe: we already know without having it spelt out

Ray: cheers for the bottle trick then, if drowning my sorrows is gonna be all that’s left

Joe: when we’ve got internet, I’ll look, work it out for us

Joe: they can’t be that backward, surely

Joe: they don’t deserve my help but fuck being here with nothing to do

Ray: they could’ve given us proper time to sort our heads out before making us go to school, I’m gonna feel like a right div

Joe: they’ll all be bestest mates by now

Joe: no point me going ‘til next year

Ray: Fraze is gonna be alright soon as a kickabout starts and Bea thinks she’s too good for mates her own age so she ain’t gonna care, it’ll be me who’s fucked in our year

Ray: I’m not going either

Joe: people like you, you’d be alright

Joe: but I don’t mind if you stay off with me so

Ray: my mates back home do cos they’ve been my mates since we were little

Ray: I ain’t grown up with none of the people at that school, what would they bother giving me a chance to join their group that’s probably the same for?

Ray: be some other sly agendas if they did, s’what I think

Joe: fuck being their dancing scouser

Joe: we can stick together

Ray: yeah

Joe: not everyone in the city can be sly

Joe: or a boring cunt, we’ll find ‘em so we don’t have to top ourselves right away

Ray: probs would kill each other if we have to stick together just us two

Joe: s’one way to do it 🔫🔫

Ray: we can’t, it’s too much like what Fraze and Bea would do

Joe: alright alright 🤮

Joe: this whole thing would be avoided if she’d just kidnapped him, not dragged us into it

Ray: they wouldn’t last as long running away as they think they could, we’d end up dragged in after a bit anyway

Joe: no shit, he ain’t as hard as he reckons, we know that

Ray: and she ain’t the know it all she wishes either

Joe: yeah

Joe: not like any kid our age can actually do it with no one

Ray: don’t mean we have to lump everything we don’t like, we’ll sort some shit, like you said, but yeah, not being bute about what we can

Ray: fuck having our heads in the ☁️☁️☁️

Joe: never had the chance to be that divvy

Ray: this is your chance to pretend, if you want, don’t let me stop you

Joe: piss off

Joe: too late for wishful thinking an’ all, what’d be the point

Ray: there’s no point to none of this, remember

Joe: not likely to forget we’re not in Liverpool no more

Ray: didn’t need reminding when there’s deffo no point me 😢

Ray: dad wouldn’t pay no attention if I was dripping blood out of my eye sockets

Joe: say you’re dead keen on being a Catholic one more time

Joe: be a cool pic though

Ray: “I’m dead keen on being a Catholic one more time” 😏

Ray: [obviously going to take a picture of herself with red pen or whatever Ali has in this car in terms of art supplies we can use as blood to show him, because of course, get the spooky girls involved with helping you]

Joe: 🙄😏

Joe: just mad they didn’t actually poke your eye out

Joe: trip to the hospital would be the perfect welcome wagon, like

Ray: soz they’re an artist and pianist, they could never be clumsy enough to wound me by accident

Ray: have to be with intent

Joe: their dolls could become headless, go on

Ray: send Bea to hospital disfigured, why me?

Joe: you’ve got the gruesome twosome in your car

Joe: don’t see Tom going for the eyes, do you

Ray: just saying, it’d stop Fraze looking at her like he does

Joe: you’ll sound like mum and dad soon

Joe: if it was just about looks, there’s loads of other pretty girls at home, and here, no doubt

Ray: don’t you start calling her pretty too

Joe: you know what I mean

Joe: I don’t think she is, particularly, but she’s not a total munter

Ray: I don’t wanna know what she means to him or vice versa, what it’s about or why they’re doing it

Joe: that makes two of us

Ray: she fucked everything loads more than it was, impressive if it was someone else’s life and I didn’t have to live with it

Joe: normal parents wouldn’t have even entertained what ours have done, though

Ray: ours not hers and she don’t even want them for parents or she wouldn’t do what she is

Joe: they didn’t have to adopt her

Joe: mum’s obsessed with her or something

Ray: fixing things is what mum’s obsessed with

Ray: Fraze didn’t have to inherit that when it comes to her

Joe: he’s just like her in most other ways as well

Ray: no shit, we know they’d kill each other if she was driving him there

Joe: she could’ve picked you too though

Ray: not after picking her fave daughter first

Joe: yeah exactly

Joe: don’t give a shit about fixing that

Ray: picks her battles to suit her as well as

Joe: don’t make it sound like she’s bossing it

Ray: she don’t always fuck it up this bad but you know that wasn’t how I meant it

Joe: no 🏆 coming her way whatever

Ray: nor to dad, he’s played fuck all but irish 🎶

Joe: feeling the 💚 much

Ray: Fraze is cos that pair keep trying to irish dance and insisted I join in

Ray: what he gets for his bagsie of the front seat

Joe: 👏

Joe: least of what he’s owed

Ray: what you listening to 🎧🔊?

Joe: [something so emo for 2006 vibes because you do be in your drama rn we can allow the angst]

Ray: feeling the 😭 much

Ray: you should switch back to Nirvana it’d cheer Tommo up, he’d be made up if Kurt could save him

Ray: he’s not gonna be allowed to wear 👗 here if it is backward

Joe: felt appropriate 🔪🩸

Joe: in fairness, not like everyone was made up for him at home either

Joe: haven’t left Fraze behind, for starters

Ray: course he’s not gonna bother with a fresh start 🙄🩸

Joe: that’s never going to happen, kid, you know that

Ray: you know I hate it when you call me that

Joe: add an r and it’ll make it feel like home

Ray: that’s never gonna happen either

Joe: I know

Joe: and fuck being cheered up, leave that to them both trying way too hard 😁😁

Ray: 😬😬

Joe: 😑😑

Ray: is Tommo still kicking off?

Joe: nah, mum put his CD on

Joe: welcome to the family, Bea

Ray: wish dad would give it a rest now and put Ali’s on

Joe: she wouldn’t take much whispered persuading for her own tantrum

Ray: wouldn’t come to that, unless his fresh start is gonna be telling her no for the first time ever

Joe: 😂

Joe: yeah, can’t even imagine it

Ray: won’t have crossed his mind either I don’t reckon

Joe: ah to be young and cute

Ray: you’ll sound like mum and dad if you keep on like that

Joe: 🤐

Joe: we’ll be there soon and you can push me over the railing

Ray: have to remember to take your 🎧 off you, shame if they went over too

Joe: write a quick will now hold on

Ray: they’ll be too gutted you’re dead to wonder why I was given your joggers at least

Joe: hopeful, given how unarsed they are I’m alive and kicking

Joe: just say how stylish you reckon I was, obviously

Ray: you what! 😂 cos I’m that headwrecked by grief I’ve gone pure delusional?

Joe: Charing as ever, Raymondo 😏

Ray: 😝 be honestly dead if you make that nickname catch on!

Ray: it already sounds as if you’re talking to some pissed old fella round the dart board calling me by my real one, like

Ray: Tommo’s only one of youse lot who’ll call me Sugar and it’s properly annoying

Joe: I know you reckon you can make that work but I’d rather puke in my mouth than say it, soz

Joe: maybe if I weren’t your brother

Joe: or was 7, like

Ray: I do make it work

Ray: or did

Ray: not feeling sweet now though so maybe you’re right

Joe: can throw your own dart ‘til you find out that fits

Ray: at whose head?

Joe: reckon that’s an easy pick

Ray: yeah

Joe: I feel less decisive, myself

Joe: but you do get three so 👍

Ray: can do the pros and cons list on the back of your will

Joe: I know you’re gonna throw all three at her so I can do mum, dad and Fraze

Joe: Teamwork, yeah

Ray: 👍