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wonjaekook · 5 years ago

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What the Cat Had to Say

A/N: This wasn’t something I was entirely comfortable with writing because I was never the biggest HP fan (I never finished the books oops) and I was unsure about some of the lore, but hopefully this is an okay take on it ^^ yes, the switching between past and present tense is intentional. Sorry if that makes it a bit difficult to read at times.

21 Tropes: 10. Harry Potter AU + white w/Taeyong

Description: Eight years ago, in your Care of Magical Creatures class, you met Taeyong.

Word Count: 9.6k

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: umm, there’s a pistol mentioned at one point? but there’s no actual violence, near-drowning?

You first met Taeyong in your Care of Magical Creatures class in your third year at Hogwarts. Actually, that’s a little bit of a lie.

You first saw Taeyong on the train to school in your first year. You hadn’t known him at the time, but you saw him through the window of the sliding door into the compartment he was in, sitting alone. Your childhood friend and a Ravenclaw one year older than you, Moon Taeil, pulled you along, taking you to sit with him and some other kids you didn’t know. It wasn’t much of an impression, but you can still remember a lonely boy looking out the window, his head resting on his fist as the forests and hills passed in a blur outside. You were later sorted into Ravenclaw and he into Hufflepuff, so you didn’t see much of him that year anyways.

Your second year, you heard a lot about Taeyong. At the beginning of the year, he was known for excelling in Herbology, but that reputation quickly shifted. As Taeyong likes to call it, second year was his “mean year.” He was still talented with herbs, but nasty rumors spread about him cursing another student who hadn’t re-enrolled that year. People started looking at him differently. You admit that you were influenced by what you heard as well, but it later came out that the people who started the rumors about him did it because his mother is a muggle. But, when people treat you differently, it affects the way you act, too. Taeyong told you he wasn’t proud of the things he said that year. You know he can’t help showing a twinge of the loneliness he remembers feeling when he thinks about those memories. Second year was a cold year for Taeyong.

Third year was when you met Taeyong for the first time. Really met him.

On the first day of class, you were lectured by the professor of your Care of Magical Creatures class for not bringing your textbook to class. Your professor was a hawk-like man, tall and lanky with a crooked nose that looked almost like a beak and he was already terrifying enough on his own without him directly lecturing you. The thing was, he wasn’t what you were most afraid of. You were terrified of your textbook. It was a living, breathing book that could bite off your hand at any moment and you had no idea what to do about it. The best thing you could think to do at the time was lock it in the chest by your bed and pray it didn’t get out. Even with the straps on it secured, you refused to touch it once you got it into that drawer. Your Ravenclaw friends gave you weird looks, as you were usually one of the most studious out of them, and all you could do was wither in shame as your professor lectured you. You remember the incident as if it had just happened yesterday.

“The first day of class and you’re already slacking, Miss L/N? I expected better.” He’s ruthless in his berating and you try to shrink away, as if you could disappear into your robes.

“I…” How do you tell your professor that you’re afraid of the textbook? That’s a pathetic excuse. You know you shouldn’t be afraid of it. You know your professor and classmates would think you a fool if you told them the truth. Luckily enough, your professor doesn’t ask for an explanation, but, to your great misfortune, what he does demand is far worse.

“For your irresponsibility, you will be our first volunteer.” That makes you look up. The rest of the class shuffles on their feet, looking between you and the young dragon a bit deeper into the forest. It’s a small thing, the size of a large dog and probably barely out of infancy, and chained to the ground, but your body freezes when you see it. As if it can smell your fear- which it probably can, now that you think about it- it meets eyes with you, letting out a sort of low trilling sound. Its golden eyes seem to peer into your soul, rendering you motionless.

“I…” You whisper, eyes wide as you maintain eye contact with the beast, “...I can’t.”

“You can’t? You must. Unless,” he pauses, straightening up from where he had bent down slightly to talk down to you, “we have another volunteer?”

A hand shoots up. Whoever it is stands in the back, so you have a hard time seeing, but your classmates murmur as the volunteer weaves through the crowd, emerging at the front, hand still slightly raised. Your professor watches him with sharp eyes.

“Lee Taeyong. You want to take her place?”

You meet eyes with Taeyong for a moment before he looks at your professor. He’s a small, wiry sort of boy with a dark mop of hair that almost falls over his eyes. You might have thought his eyes were scary if it weren’t for the smile that lights them up. “Gladly.”

You don’t know Lee Taeyong. You’re bewildered by the fact that he just volunteered to take your place in an exercise involving a dragon. Does this boy have no fear of his life? Yet, you and the rest of your class watch as your professor orders him to remove the rest of the molting scales from the dragon and he steps forward and does it. The way he moves towards the dragon is almost a dance, with subtle, intricate steps and a little bow. When he reaches the dragon, he completes the task, coming back with a molted dragon scale in hand.

You listen to the way your professor praises Taeyong’s performance with awe before he dismisses the class. Before too long, the grove in the forest empties out and you’re left with just Taeyong. He’s watching the dragon, who is laying down to rest, but your eyes dart back and forth between the two. “How,” you say, careful not to be loud as not to disturb the scaly creature, “how did you do that?”

“Oh, I just read the book.” His own docile beastly textbook is tucked under his arm, barely moving besides the feelers on the edge, and he’s stroking it idly with his free hand. You notice in that moment that his book isn’t even strapped down. “I also practiced a bit during the summer. I had a lot of free time.”

“Thank you,” you say timidly, “for volunteering for me.”

“No problem,” he turns, the smile he gives you outshining the sun in that moment, “I was actually really looking forward to this class. I always wanted to meet a dragon.”

You’re a little mystified by the statement, but you push the feeling aside. “I’m sorry I never introduced myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Taeyong.” He extends his free hand to shake yours, but his eyes follow the way you watch his textbook stir slightly. “Are you afraid of it?”

“What?” You snap out of it, letting go of his hand and meeting his eyes.

“Are you afraid of the textbook? Because it’s… ya know. Alive.”

An embarrassed blush instantly lights your cheeks. “I’m… not…”

His lips part as he understands. “Ooh, you are! That’s why you didn’t bring it today!”

“I’m not afraid of it! I’m just afraid of… well… animals. And that’s...” You shift uncomfortably on your feet, not wanting to look at Taeyong anymore.

“They’re nice as long as you treat them right. The same goes for any other creature. Here,” he says, moving to hold the spine of his book out to you, “it’ll be friendly once you stroke its spine.”

You jump back and your heart beats a little faster when he tries to offer it to you. “No! The way it squirms is just… it’s so… unnatural. I can’t.”

Taeyong’s eyes furrow. “It’s not unnatural, at least not any more unnatural than you and me. You just have to be nice to it. I promise it won’t bite you. Come on.” He demonstrates, stroking a gentle hand down the book’s spine. It makes a quiet purring sound and seems to still even more. He keeps his hands extended to you.

“I can’t do it. Can we just go back? Please?”

“You won’t be able to pass this class if you can’t use your textbook, Y/N.” He says it with such dead seriousness that you freeze. That’s what finally gets you. He watches the expression on your face shift from fear to discomfort to mild panic before you finally shakily sigh.

“...fine.”

He instantly brightens up and has a gentle smile on his face as he extends the book to you. “I won’t let it hurt you. Just stroke its spine.” You slowly, very, very slowly, follow his command, edging forward until your extended hand makes contact with the furry spine of the book. Barely applying any pressure, you run your fingertips down the outside of the book. You’re stiff, but you start to relax a little when it doesn’t make any sudden movements after a moment. The book lets out another low purr at your touch and you slowly retract your hand. Taeyong takes the book back, beaming at you as he tucks it back under his arm. “See? Not so bad, right?”

“I guess not…”

“Let’s go back.” You nod and follow him, falling into step next to him. Dried brush crunches under your feet and sunlight dapples the forest trail as you walk next to him, the distant chirping of birds accompanying your footsteps. After a minute, he turns his head to look at you. “Are you afraid of all animals?”

You make a face, not wanting to admit it, but you figure that he’s only asking to confirm the suspicions he already has. “Yeah. Except Tora.” Taeyong tilts his head, prepared to ask the logical follow-up question, but you speak first. “Tora is my mom’s cat. We’ve had him since I was little, so he’s a member of the family. Mom made me take him to school with me.”

“Ah.” The little sound he makes is so uncharacteristic of the mean Taeyong you had heard whispers of last year that you’re a little confused. Then again, all of the traits he’s shown you in the last while don’t align with what you’ve been told about him. “Magical creatures aren’t mean, you know. You probably just don’t trust them immediately. Do you want my help?”

“Your help?” You frown. You’re almost back to the main school grounds, the forest floor giving way to well-kept grass. “When will I ever need to interact with magical creatures?” From there, you part ways with him, heading to your Divination class.

You sought him out a week later after that when you found yourself frozen in fear again at a phoenix during class.

It took a lot of exposure therapy and time away from studying for other subjects, but Taeyong worked with you. To this day, you’re not exactly friendly with magical creatures, but you can tolerate them and they can usually tolerate you.

At the same time, you learned a lot about your new friend. He was actually quite the soft-hearted boy, with a knack for herbs and animals, and you see hardly any trace of the unpleasant person you had heard about him being during your second year. He had a white owl named Snowball who helped him a lot in his lonely times. He had a Slytherin sister who graduated a few years previous. His father passed away, so he lives with his mother when he’s not at school. He had gentle hands, but he wasn’t afraid to get them dirty sometimes and he wasn’t quite as dedicated in studying as you, preferring to go explore the rest of the castle grounds. You were glad you met Lee Taeyong.

By the middle of third year, you were moving past your fear. You later found out that you couldn’t say the same for Taeyong. You really thought that boy was fearless for how he always volunteered during your Care of Magical Creatures class with even the most dangerous specimens. It wasn’t until the winter that you came face to face with the part of him that he was most afraid of.

Behind Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts is your second favorite class. It helps that your professor is a relatively kindly man, gentle to students and quick to protect them when the time comes. That’s why, even though the concept is scary, you’re not terribly worried about the boggart exercise today. When it’s your turn, an overly large and sharp-clawed lion appears from the closet and, after a moment of mild panic, all it takes is a flick of your wand and the word, “Riddikulus!” before the creature turns into a stuffed version of itself, all fear factor gone.

Then, Taeyong steps up. Though the two of you make a bit of an odd pair, your classmates had gotten used to you studying together and pairing up for activities. Some of your own Ravenclaw friends had befriended him as well, to your delight. But, when Taeyong steps up right after you, you don’t know what to expect. What could the fearless Taeyong that you had befriended have trapped inside?

The boggart morphs into a swirling grey mass of matter for a moment, as if it’s digging deep through his memories and fears, until, finally, it takes a very familiar shape. A quiet murmur goes through the class when, before Taeyong, is another version of himself. This one, instead of a wand, brandishes a pistol, and the look in its eyes is empty, a smear of blood covering its cheek. Its eyes turn towards Taeyong and he, wand stiff in his hand, stumbles back as it points the gun towards him. He falls, landing with his hands supporting his weight behind him.

“Taeyong-” You and the professor warn at the same time, and Taeyong seems to snap out of it, pointing his wand at the creature. The warding spell leaves his lips and a harmless flower pops out of the end of the pistol instead of a bullet as it pulls the trigger. The creature disappears a moment later as Taeyong backs away and another student takes his place, your professor encouraging the rest of the class to continue the activity. You offer him a hand and he takes it, standing and dusting off his robes.

Once the class is dismissed, you try to corner him, but he slips out the door, shouldering past the rest of your classmates. Your eyebrows furrow and you frown, trying to follow him. Despite your efforts, you lose him after a few moments. Luckily enough, you’ve been friends with him long enough that you think you know where he’s going.

You trudge through the snow on the way to the bridge and cross it, shivering as the wind cuts into your robes, before you see him enter the open-aired building where the owls stay just a few moments ahead of you. A minute later, you join him, plopping down on the cold stone floor next to him. Snowflakes dust his hair and robes, dotting it with white. His breath comes out in small clouds and he frowns when he sees you, but doesn’t move away.

“I wanted to be alone,” he huffs out, a larger cloud of foggy breath leaving him. He would never say that if he was feeling fine.

“You’re not okay.” He doesn’t deny it, so you know you’re right. “What happened?” He shakes his head, studying the floor. An owl hoots quietly above your heads. “Taeyong,” you say quietly, reaching for his hands. They’re cold in yours, so you lean down, blowing warm breath onto his fingers and then covering them with your own, trying to trap the heat in. “You’re helping me with what I’m most afraid of. Let me help you.”

He watches your hands for a moment, then his eyes shift up to look at the worried, earnest expression on your face. Finally, he sighs. “You’re right. I guess.” His cheeks are pink with the cold and because, unbeknownst to you, of the way your fingers wrap around his, trying to protect them from the biting winter air. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“That’s okay,” you say, smiling and looking at him with bright eyes, “I’m here for as long as you need.”

That day, in the company of winter winds and owls, Taeyong tells you about his mother, a superstitious woman who, once she found out about magic from his father, took to believing just about every washed up fortuneteller and magician she met. It only got worse once his father passed away and, one day, she took him to a so-called psychic. He hadn’t believed the woman at the time, but a nagging feeling in the back of his head kept him from ever completely disregarding the prophecy she spoke into existence that day. The psychic told him that he would become a killer, someone who takes lives in cold blood, with a glistening pistol in his hand and no fear of god in his soul.

“I know,” Taeyong rasps, swallowing hard, “I know she was just a con artist. That it wasn’t real magic. But, I just… I’m afraid that’s what I’ll become one day.” His confession hangs in the air for a moment, like he’s scared that he’s now speaking his fate into existence. You blink and the feeling is gone.

“Well,” you say, squeezing his hands tighter in yours, “I know for sure that she’s wrong.”

He seems confused, his head instantly snapping up so he can look you in the eyes. All he sees there is confidence and a sort of reassurance that he has been longing to feel for a long time. “You’ve only known me for like four months. How can you say that?”

“Because, you’re Taeyong. You’re the Taeyong who cares about plants and animals and came to the owl sanctuary because you felt bad. You’re the Taeyong who’s helping me get over my fear of animals just because you have that much faith in the good of the world. You’re the Taeyong who cries when you see a bird with a broken wing and tries to go exploring in the Forbidden Forest because you want to meet all the creatures living there. I might not have known you for a long time, but I know that much about you. I don’t think you ever have to worry about becoming that type of person.”

The strong belief you have in your eyes and the way you hold his hands has tears welling up in his eyes. With a smile, you pat his head with one hand, brushing some of the melting snowflakes out of his hair. After a short burst of silent tears on his part, you let go of his hands so he can wipe at his face. “Thanks, Y/N,” he sniffles.

“No problem. But, can we go back inside now? It’s really cold.” Once again, you’re pulling him to his feet. The two of you race back inside together, two figures cloaked in the black of your robes against the glistening white snow.

Thinking back on it, it’s a sweet memory. Perhaps you had feelings for him before you even knew it. It wasn’t long before Taeyong became your closest friend, and you his. It’s strange because, if you just saw him on the street one day, you probably would have been scared of him. But, knowing he’s a gentle Hufflepuff who’s more concerned about taking care of animals than anything else, you know not to be afraid. Even if his eyes and the serious set of his face does make him look a bit intimidating sometimes.

In the last week of your third year, you’re just studying for one of your upcoming exams when Taeyong speaks up from where he’s reading a textbook next to you.

“Y/N,” he says, breaking the silence of the library, “do you want to go on an adventure?”

You try to stay focused on your book, so you keep looking down, but you’re hardly reading the words on the page now that Taeyong is talking to you. “Tae, I’m studying.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. You’ve been studying all day and we have an hour until dinner.” He normally wouldn’t try to drag you away from your studies so easily, so you look up, tilting your head to prompt him to continue. “Johnny showed me the other day. It’ll be cool, so come on.”

“Johnny Seo? Gryffindor Johnny?” Hearing that the idea came from him, you’re a bit nervous, but, by this point, Taeyong is already standing up, tucking his textbook away, and grabbing onto your arm. You know by now that once he gets excited about something, there’s not much that will distract him from it, so you acquiesce, letting him tug you along.

By this time of year, spring is in full bloom, all the ice is gone from the lake, and it’s a breath of fresh air to be out of the stuffy library and into the courtyard. But, he’s not dragging you to the courtyard. He’s going further, crossing into the friendly side of the forest where your Care of Magical Creatures class is usually held. It’s another minute of wandering, him searching intently for something, before he finally finds what he’s looking for. He cracks a smile and lets go of your arm, approaching what you now realize is a massive, full-grown hippogriff. Your eyes widen in panic. From what you’ve read from your beastly textbook - who you had grown to come to terms with using - hippogriffs are extremely dangerous.

“Taeyong, be careful!” You yell, seeing him approach the creature. His grey and white feathers shine slightly in the spring sunlight and he doesn’t stand up from his resting position, his horse and eagle legs curled under him. He just watches as Taeyong bows and walks towards him. Taeyong extends his hand towards the creature and you pull out your wand, expecting the worst.

However, to your surprise, the creature butts his head into his hand, almost like he’s nuzzling him. “It’s okay,” he says, half-turning towards you and stroking him, “we’re friends.”

“This,” you say, exasperated, “this is what Johnny showed you?”

“Yeah,” Taeyong says, beaming while continuing to stroke the beast, “Johnny said the groundskeeper feeds him sometimes and his name is Greyhoof. Come closer, he’s friendly.”

You shake your head, making a slightly pained expression, before you put away your wand and approach slowly, giving in. The creature watches you do your ceremonial bow and he lowers his head towards you as well. Trying to keep your mild panic bottled up, you finally get close enough that you can extend your hand and run it over the feathers of the creature’s neck. He welcomes the touch, so you relax a bit, continuing to stroke him.

“See? Friendly.” Taeyong looks at you, the smile still glowing on his face. “Now that introductions are taken care of, let’s go.”

“Go?” Your relaxed state turns back to anxiety when your friend pats Greyhoof’s neck and he rises to his feet, causing you to jump back and retract your hand as he towers over both of you. Taeyong quickly and easily climbs onto his back, reaching out to you afterwards. You stare at his hand. “No way are you expecting me to-”

“I told you it’ll be fun. Trust me.”

All reluctance leaves you a minute later when you and Taeyong are soaring over the lake on the back of the hippogriff. Your hands are tight around his waist, the wind blows through your hair, and exhilaration fills you. High up, on the back of a hippogriff, there’s only you and Taeyong. Every person is small below you, a dot of color against the beautiful spring landscape.

By the end of your third year, Taeyong had taught you what it was like to fly.

For the first time, during the summer between your third and fourth year, you remember missing being at school. You still have all the letters you and Taeyong wrote back and forth to each other during every summer, but one letter stands out particularly in your memory. In July, right around his birthday, Taeyong had written that he wished he could have celebrated it with you and that he missed you. That “I miss you” written in his messy, boyish handwriting made your heart beat too fast and too hard to be normal. It’s then that you realized you had fallen in love with Lee Taeyong.

When you took the train back to Hogwarts on the way to start your fourth year, you were far more awkward than you like to admit. Taeyong told you years later that he felt like he did something wrong or that you didn’t like his hair - something else that had changed over the summer. Somewhere along the few months away from school, Taeyong had started to style his hair and your poor teenage heart could not handle how handsome he looked when you saw him for the first time going back to school.

Other than the fact that Taeyong made your heart to do cartwheels every time you saw him, which was practically every day, fourth year passed by with relative monotony. It was torturous in the fact, though you felt like you were going into cardiac arrest every time he was near, he never even looked at you differently. In all of your fourteen year old wisdom, you tried everything - changing your hairstyle, wearing your robes a bit differently, applying a bit of makeup. Your fellow Ravenclaws looked at you weirdly every time you came back from studying with a defeated look on your face. You even considered using your skill in potions to brew a love potion to make him fall for you back, but you quickly dismissed the idea. You could never have done that Taeyong.

With all that angst, you never told him. You left fourth year still very much infatuated with him and without confessing your own feelings.

Your fifth year, the Triwizard Tournament was held at Hogwarts. The summer was a good opportunity to settle down and prepare for the festivities to come, and you distinctly remember trying to keep Taeyong off of your mind for most of that time. You didn’t write him as much that summer - only sending the occasional letter - for fear of seeming obsessed and giving away your ever-growing feelings. However, as usual, you sat with Taeyong on the train ride to school. In that time, you remember that he was oddly silent. You feared that maybe he had figured you out and felt uncomfortable. Yet, after a week, things had normalized between the two of you again. Taeyong later told you in seventh year that he had thought you hated him because you didn’t write that often that summer and he had developed his own enormous crush on you.

An older Hufflepuff friend of yours and Taeyong’s, Lee Taemin, is chosen to represent your school in the tournament and you spend your time dragging Taeyong along to support him. Despite your senior being from the same house as him, Taeyong seems unenthused. You try to prod the answer out of him, ask why he isn’t excited about the tournament, but he doesn’t give, just tells you it’s nothing. The first event - a dragon trial - Taemin completes with ease, holding up his golden egg victoriously.

The clue tells him that the next trial will have to do with water. Between studying for your own classes, you try to help Taemin. Your strong suit has always been potions - you figure there has to be a potion out there that will help him breathe underwater and, if there isn’t, you could invent one. Taeyong is with Taemin and some of the other male Hufflepuffs when he opens the egg and hears the song that comes from it. When he comes back from it, he seems off, staring out the window when he would usually be busy studying alongside you. You try to ask him questions, but he just gives you vague answers, always looking out towards the lake, his textbooks unopened in front of him. With your building stress about helping Taemin, falling behind in your own school work, and, as you’ve been reminded by one of your professors who takes the steps of teaching your entire house how to dance properly, the impending Yule Ball and your lack of a date, the sight of Taeyong distracted so often makes you snap.

“If you have so much time to be spending looking out the window, the very least you could be doing is helping with Taemin’s trial.” The words come out far more bitterly than anything you’ve ever said to Taeyong. His normally relatively soft, carefree expression turns hard and he stands up.

“I guess I’ll go help, then,” he says, as if he can hardly move his lips at all, and stares at you with a sort of misty look in his eyes. You immediately regret snapping at him.

“Taeyong…” He’s already several paces away when you say his name, quickly disappearing from the library. With immense guilt weighing you down, you quickly pack up and trail after him, trying to see where he went. Towards the lake?

You’re at the end of the hallway leading outside when you see Taeyong, walking straight towards the dock. Confused and concerned, you follow him from a distance. He disappears into the line of trees that lies between the shore and the castle, so you hesitantly follow him. “Taeyong?” You call out to him, wondering if your voice will reach him. You’re barely emerging from the woods when you see Taeyong leaning towards the water. When he doesn’t stop leaning forward, perilously close to pitching over the edge, your heart flutters with worry. Something more has to be wrong, right? You start to run, feet pounding on dirt and rock and then the wood of the dock. “Taeyong!”

Your shout comes just as he falls into the water. You run faster, skidding to a halt by the edge of the pier. A few seconds pass. Then a few more. He doesn’t come up. Without a moment more hesitation than to strip off your heavier robes and shoes, you dive in.

The water is cold and you feel heavy, but you swim down, down, down, for what feels like far too long, until you see Taeyong. There, close to being wrapped in the shadows of the deeper part of the lake, is a mermaid. Her features are a distortion of a human’s, eyes too big and fish-like, skin too grey and scaly, hair made out of what looks more like the plants at the bottom of a lake than normal locks. She holds Taeyong’s face in her hands, singing a beautiful, haunting song that you know muddles your thoughts and is something an ordinary person shouldn’t be hearing. Taeyong floats in place, still, his eyes wide open, hair billowing around him. Your breath strains at your lungs, your heartbeat pounding in your eyes almost drowning out her singing, so you grab onto Taeyong, catching the mermaid’s attention. She screams at you, a horrifying sound that’s like someone dragging a metal fork against a piece of china, and lets go of your friend. You grab for your wand and lift it, casting a protection spell, before casting a spell of speed, launching you and Taeyong to the surface. You both land with wet thumps on the dock, coughing up the bit of water that had managed to enter your lungs. Taeyong heaves himself up onto his elbows, wheezing and gasping painfully as air fills his body once again. Your lungs burn like nothing you’ve ever felt before and the adrenaline rushing through your body eventually subsides, leaving you colder than before. Lying there for a few minutes, both of you work to catch your breaths, the autumn wind cooling your skin even further. Finally, Taeyong speaks.

“There’s merpeople down there,” Taeyong murmurs, half to himself.

“I could have told you that without you trying to drown yourself!” You cry out, tears starting to mix with the lake water covering your face. You try to wipe at your cheeks with your robe sleeves, but they’re soaked through, proving your efforts fruitless. “Why would you do that? What��s wrong with you?”

Taeyong looks confused at your pained expression. “I thought you wanted me to help Taemin?”

“I would rather you stay safe than hurt yourself trying to help him,” you weep, “I was so scared you were going to die.” It takes you a minute to calm your crying, but you eventually stop, sitting there and shivering with your arms wrapped around your legs. Taeyong watches you, a guilty expression on his face. Once you’re done crying, you remember the heavy robes you had stripped off before diving in and crawl over to them, grabbing them and moving closer to Taeyong so you can wrap them around the two of you once you both stand up on shaky legs. “Are you okay, Taeyong?”

“My head has felt weird since I heard the song in Taemin’s egg,” Taeyong mumbles, looking back at the water. “But I think I’m okay now. That mermaid must have enchanted me or something.”

You nod, leaning to pick up your shoes. “I’m sorry for what I said to you. I know it wasn’t right and I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“That’s okay. You still came to save me, after all.” The smile Taeyong gives you is almost enough to make you believe him. The smile falters as he apologizes. “I’m sorry I made you cry.”

“It’s better I’m crying that you’re alive than that you’re dead.” You huddle under your robe with him, tugging him along so you can get back inside and warm up. Taeyong takes your hand in his and you share the tiniest bit of warmth in that touch.

“Will you go to the Yule Ball with me?” Taeyong’s question nearly shocks the life out of you.

“Do you still have lake water in your brain?” You laugh, trying to follow if this is a joke. You really hope it isn’t.

He shakes his head, looking at you with slightly wide eyes. “No, I’m really asking you. Do you want to-” “Yes!” You rush out a bit too quickly, interrupting him. You shy away slightly, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. Your heart beats too fast in your chest and you feel like your body is finally warming up, even though your clothes are still soaked. Taeyong’s hand in yours is particularly warm. “...sorry. Yes, I’ll go to the Yule Ball with you.”

The way he looks at you, showing all his teeth, lips curled upwards, and his eyes scrunching together in happiness, almost makes you forget that the two of you had been practically drowning a few minutes ago.

In the few weeks leading up to the ball, you and Taeyong talk in hushed tones in the library about the occasion, wondering about who is going with who and what music there’ll be. Sometimes, you swear you even catch him looking at you when you’re studying and, before you can meet his eyes, he’s looking away, a slight pink on his cheeks. Once, you ask him about it, but he just avoids the topic, jittering out that it’s cold in there or something. Both of you know that the library never gets that cold.

The night itself comes and when your housemates ask who you’re going with and you only respond by smiling and blushing, they know who it is. You spend the time eagerly getting ready, adjusting your dress over and over again. When you had told your mother about your date to the ball, she had sent you a parcel via owl containing a pretty white pearl necklace, the color that reminds you most of Taeyong and matches your white and grey dress. You follow the other girls as they make their way out of your common room. You had promised Taeyong that you would wait for him on the stairs leading to the Great Hall, so you stand there, hands clasped together in front of you and bouncing on your heels excitedly. You watch as other people link up with their partners and enter the hall, as the champions all take their partners�� arms and walk in to the sound of trumpets and string instruments, as the entranceway empties out save for you.

It’s been an hour. Lee Taeyong has left you waiting for an hour. With each minute that had passed, your shoulders had slumped a little more and the bounce slowly left your body, replaced with the heavy feelings of loneliness and embarrassment. You know that it’s not like Taeyong to ditch you and he had seemed so excited, but…

It seems your crush is one-sided after all.

As you trudge back to your room, you rip the pins out of your hair one by one. How could he? Twenty, thirty minutes might be understandable, but a whole hour? You want to cry. You do cry. Your fellow Ravenclaws call you a crybaby sometimes and you know they’re right, but the indignance that you feel at being called that isn’t enough to overpower the growing pain in your heart. Hot, salty tears slide down your cheeks, surely smudging your makeup. You don’t want to use the lacey sleeves of your dress for fear of ruining the material, so you let the tears slip down your face quietly. At the base of the Ravenclaw Tower, there’s a little room with a balcony, open to the outside air. Despite the winter cold, you find yourself in that room, finally mopping at your tears with the heel of your hand, sitting on a bench and being miserable. The cold feels good against your warm face as you cry. They aren’t loud tears this time, just sniffling and rubbing at your face, but it’s enough to fill the silence. If you hold your breath and listen closely enough, you think you can almost hear the music of the ball drifting over from the other side of the castle.

Then, the door of the room is bursting open with Taeyong behind it. He almost looks more distraught than you do, his bowtie slightly askew on his fine tuxedo and his once-styled hair disheveled. He walks over to you quickly but carefully, standing a few feet away and breathing like he had just run across the entire castle to get here. “Y/N,” he says between heaving breaths, “I’m so sorry.”

You’re so shocked that he’s here that you don’t have the energy to be angry. “I didn’t… I didn’t think you were going to show…” You say, voice nearly a whisper.

“I’m so, so sorry. Taemin lost his cat but he had to be at the ball to do the opening dance and I promised I would find her and it took forever and I’m really, really sorry!” His words fly out of his mouth so fast you almost don’t understand them, staring up at him with wide eyes. He stops talking to take a few more breaths, trying to read your face for your reaction. All you can do is look at him, so he starts speaking again, much more slowly this time. “Do you… still want to go back to the ball?”

You shake your head, not breaking eye contact with him. “I just pulled out all the pins from my hair and I’ve cried half of my makeup off. I probably look like too much of a mess.”

“Here,” he still appears upset, but reaches up, mussing up his hair even more, “now we’re even.”

You can’t help sticking out your bottom lip in a small pout, still sniffling a bit as the ghost of a smile pulls at your lips. “That’s not fair. You’re still too handsome.”

His face drops into a look of surprise at the same time that you realize you had just called him handsome. “Ah, well,” he says, nudging at the ground with his foot, his eyes darting away from you, “you’re always too pretty.” Silence hangs heavy between the two of you as you try not to look at each other, both of you too embarrassed by the situation you’ve put yourselves into. “If you don’t want to go back to the dance,” Taeyong says, finally looking at you at the same time that you look at him, “do you want to dance here?”

He offers you his hand, appearing like a prince out of a fairytale. You take it, a smile finally reaching your face. “I would love to.”

When you take his hand, he helps you to your feet, his hand warm compared to yours, which had been cooled by the winter air. “Oh,” he breathes out, digging into a pocket on the inside of his tuxedo. He pulls out his wand and points it towards the ceiling, whispering a spell you’ve never heard before. A flash of light starts in the wood of his wand before quickly shooting into the air, filling the little room with tiny balls of light that hover near the ceiling and cast pale crystalline light on your faces. You had never entered the Great Hall, so you never saw the pretty decorations in there, but you know this is more than enough. He whispers another spell and the room fills with a soft waltz, an ethereal symphony that fills the space, bouncing off the cold stone walls and making the area feel that much warmer. Tucking away his wand, he places his hand on your waist and smiles. He counts off softly. “One, two, three.”

Your feet glide across the floor in rhythm with Taeyong’s, though he’s definitely better at this than you, and you feel like you’re in your very own world. The light of the hanging orbs fills Taeyong’s eyes and bounces off the material of your dress as it trails slightly with your every step. You can’t stop looking at him, to the point where you almost trip on your feet and mess up the steps of the dance. The cold no longer feels so cold at all.

Eventually, the lights start to dim and the music fades out, leaving you standing there, breathless in the best way, holding onto his hand and shoulder. You see him swallow heavily. A moment later, you’re stepping away from each other, hands floating awkwardly at your sides, unsure what to do with them when you’re not holding each other.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his honest apology displayed clearly on his face, “for making you cry again.”

“I’m sorry for freaking out and crying again.” As you stare at each other, the looks on your faces slowly morph until you’re smiling and giggling. You reach forward, taking his hand in yours and tugging him towards the balcony. “Come on, let’s look outside. It’s really pretty.”

When you reach the railing, you don’t let go of his hand, so he takes it as a sign to step closer to you. He moves closer until your arms are pressed together, some of his warmth transferring from his jacket through the thin lace of your sleeve and to your skin. You look out at the scenery, but you’re really not seeing anything because you can tell Taeyong is looking at you and that’s all you can pay attention to. He swings your interlaced hands back and forth gently and his breath clouds as he speaks. “I really like your dress. It reminds me of Greyhoof.”

The comment takes you so off guard that you let out a little noise of surprise before tilting your head back so you can laugh. “Really?”

He flushes at your reaction, but stills the swinging of your hands and presses his lips together tightly before turning to properly face you and continuing. “What I mean is that you look really nice. You always look really nice. I… I like you a lot.”

Your mouth dries up and butterflies erupt in your heart, sending pleasant shivers tingling through your body. You almost don’t remember to respond to him, too lost in the sensation that is really happening. You feel lighter than air, flying, but heavy and tied to the ground. His hand in yours is what keeps you grounded. You finally see his nervous expression and have the presence of mind to whisper it back. “Taeyong… I like you, too.”

Of all the ways you imagined this happening, it wouldn’t have been after you cried your eyes out when Taeyong seemingly ditched you before he created a miniature ballroom in a room at the base of the Ravenclaw Tower. Then again, as Taeyong quietly asks permission and you give it to him so he can lean down to kiss you, you figure that it makes just as much sense as any other part of your relationship.

Above you, the sky opens up and it begins to snow.

You spent the rest of fifth year balancing continuing to keep up with your studies and help Taemin with his trials. It was a little hard to complete a potion for breathing underwater when all Taeyong wanted to do was hold your hand or hug you from behind in the sweetest way, but you managed. You didn’t know until a few hours after the last test that Taemin won the Triwizard Cup because you were far too busy practicing kissing with Taeyong behind the bleachers to spectate. That summer, you spend a lot of time writing to him, trying to make up for all of the letters that you had missed in all of your moping the summer before. As per tradition, every one of his letters was delivered by his owl, Snowball, with frightening speed. Taeil, your friend and neighbor, joked about you falling for a Hufflepuff every time he witnessed Snowball nearly barrel head-first into the side of your house.

When reflecting on it, you call your sixth year your ‘honeymoon year.’ Though you didn’t spend any more time with Taeyong than you did before, a much greater amount of it was spent with his hand in yours as you studied.

In your Advanced Charms class, you and Taeyong make a point of not sitting close to each other. You know by now that you would distract each other too much and that people in your year are getting annoyed with your lovesickness. As he’s passing by you while leaving class one day, Taeyong subtly slips a note onto your desk, continuing his conversation with one of his Hufflepuff friends like nothing is happening. Sliding the note into your sleeve, you start to pack up your own things. Once you’re alone, you pull out the seemingly blank note. All it takes is a tap of your wand before the words, written in what you now know very clearly is Taeyong’s handwriting, reveal themselves.

‘Meet me on the bridge at 1 -Tyong’

You smile to yourself. Upon his own insistence, you had started calling him that. He’s already waiting there for you, leaning on the railing of the bridge and gazing out at the water, when you walk over. Over the summer, he had dyed his hair a brilliant white and, though the roots are showing a bit now, you can’t help but think the color suits him well. Your footsteps alert him to your presence and he greets you with a peck on the lips. “Hi.”

“Hi, Taeyong. Why’d you call me here?”

“Because I missed you.” Those four words melt your heart and make you feel warm in the best way. He continues. “Do you want to go on a Hogsmeade date this weekend?”

“I was going to study, but I suppose I can spare Saturday for you.” You try to act a little coy, but he just uses that infectious grin of his on you and you can’t help smiling back.

“Oh! Also,” he reaches back, digging in the pocket of his robes for a moment. He pulls out a white flower a moment later, twirling it by the stem in his fingers. “I grew this in Herbology today. Professor said we only needed the root of the plant and that I could take the flower if I wanted, so…” He leans forward, fixing the flower in your hair.

“Thank you, Taeyong. It’s really pretty.” You don’t stop looking at him as you say it, the happiness on your face reflected on his.

Sixth year was a good year.

Seventh year, the closest in time to you now, and the most trying of all of them, weighs heavily on your mind still. You wish you had done something differently. Something that would have kept your paths from diverging.

“You’re going to Seoul?”

Plans after graduation is a topic that you and Taeyong tend to avoid. Of course, it’s inevitable that you can’t dodge it forever, no matter how much you want to. Now, you’re nearly heartbroken when Taeyong tells you his plans.

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it for a while and… I want to reconnect with my dad’s family back there. Plus, the wildlife there is so different from what’s here! There’s a whole other world to explore over there.” The excitement is so clear on his face that it breaks your heart even more. That look falters when he sees the expression you wear. His next question is gently prodding, timid. “Y/N? What are you going to do?”

“I… I was planning on staying here. Working under the Ministry to become a proper Potions Master.” He studies your expression, eyes becoming more weighed down by sadness as the seconds tick by.

“Oh.”

You both know each other well enough by now to know how the other is feeling. Well enough to know that neither of you will change. Well enough to know where this is leading.

You hang on to the few threads of hope and happiness you have left until the winter. Those fall months, the grip he has on your hand starts to tighten, but somehow become looser at the same time. In the snow, on the bridge to the owl sanctuary, you and Taeyong agree to end it.

The few remaining months of school after that passed emptily. You did well on your exams, as expected of a Ravenclaw, and you didn’t see much of him. You tried not to keep eye contact with him whenever you did pass each other in common areas, but you know his eyes always followed you for far longer. It almost hurt more to not look.

Even when it’s one year, two years past graduation, you have a hard time not thinking about it. Snow, owls, herbs, all remind you of him. You keep telling yourself that you shouldn’t be so hung up on a teen crush, but you know that he was more than that. More than anything, Lee Taeyong was the most incredible person you had ever met. And you lost him. No - you let him go.

In those two years, you spent countless hours in your lab, mixing old potions and creating new ones for the Ministry of Magic, even trying on multiple occasions to brew a potion that could cure heartache but always failing, staying long hours into the night because you know that when you go home, it’s more than likely that Taeyong will cross your mind. But, all things fade.

Finally, after three years of not seeing him, Taeyong no longer occupies a lot of space in your mind. As one of the youngest of the Potions Masters, you spend almost as much time traveling on errands to retrieve items from around the world as you do brewing your own concoctions. That’s how you ended up here, in Seoul, four years later, tasked with finding a rare herb that is only grown in South Korea. You push open the door to the shop you were told about, a bell hanging on the handle jingling softly as you enter, letting the cold winter wind in. The shop is warm, tucked in a corner next to an alleyway, and smelling of all sorts of fragrant herbs. Different materials rest in jars lining the walls, arranged by what you think is color. By color? Who would organize by color and not by name or usage?

“Hello?” You call out, finding the shop empty save for a few small creatures running around, including a small grey tiger-striped cat. With a small smile, you reach down to stroke the animal, which arches into your hand when you stroke it. “You’re so pretty,” you say quietly to the cat, continuing to pet it, “you remind me of my friend Tora.”

“Coming!” There’s a small clattering noise from the entryway behind the counter of the shop before a face you know well pops out from behind the doorway, his hair a chestnut brown that you’ve never seen on him before.

And, finally, he’s in front of you again.

He blinks. “Y/N?”

“Taeyong?” You know it’s him - he couldn’t possibly be anyone else - but it’s hard to believe your eyes. In a city of millions of people, you run into the one person in the world you would know here.

If it’s possible, he’s even more handsome than the last time you had seen him, but so much of him is very much the same. He still has that little scar by his eye from when something had gone wrong in his Defense Against the Dark Arts class in fourth year, he’s still thin enough that you want to check if he’s been eating properly, he still has that soft voice that is so, so sweet and familiar when he says your name. Suddenly, all the time you had spent trying to get over him is gone and you’re back in your seventh year again, staring at Taeyong and feeling your heart beat faster and heavier in your chest.

“Why are you here? Not- not that I’m unhappy to see you! It’s really nice to see you.” With those words, your heart tells you that he never really forgot about you, either.

“I’m here to get an ingredient. I work for the Ministry now. Potions.” You feel like you can barely move your lips to answer his questions.

“Oh. Like you always wanted.” He smiles, a thin smile like he’s holding back. You wish he wouldn’t hold back. Not again.

You try to pull yourself together enough to tell him what you want, watching as he walks alongside the shelves until he locates what he’s looking for. You smile a little when you realize that organizing potion materials by color is a very, very Taeyong thing to do. As you’re standing there, patiently waiting, the cat you had greeted earlier rubs against your legs, purring quietly, so you reach down to stroke it. “How have you been, Taeyong?”

“Mm? Good. I’ve been running my uncle’s shop. On the weekends, I do a magical creatures class for kids who are magically inclined. There’s not too many wizards willing to teach that kind of stuff here.” He chats as he locates the correct jar and pulls out the right amount of the material you need. He turns to you. “Is… is this all you need?”

You nod. “Yeah. That’s all.” That’s not really all. You want to stay longer, find out how he’s really been, what he named this cat, how the kids he teaches are, if he still thinks about you.

As he rings you up, handing you your change, he pauses, the bills in his hands. His eyes lift to meet yours. “Do you want to stay for coffee or something? We can catch up. If you want.”

“I would love that.”

In the few hours you spend with Taeyong, sipping at coffee that disappears from your cups slowly, staying long enough so that he has to go make more, the space of the years between you disappears. It feels good to talk with Taeyong again. It feels good to know Taeyong again. Regrettably, the sun dips behind the horizon and you look out the window of the shop, seeing the orange sunset reflect onto the shining silver and black buildings before the daylight disappears completely, replaced by the streetlights that blink on one at a time. As the light outside of the shop flickers on, Taeyong speaks up.

“You could stay with me. We could always use more Potions Masters in Seoul.”

“Taeyong-”

“Please.”

Taeyong has always had too much of a habit of shocking you with his words and now is no different. When he says that, you know that he feels the same way that you do. He’s always felt the same way that you do. Somehow, destiny brought you back together again. It would be insane, but-

You set your coffee cup down. You can tell from his expression that he’s expecting a rejection, even with his pleading. But, by now, you think you’re done running from him.

“Do you think the Ministry takes two weeks notices?”

#taeyong fluff #taeyong angst #nct fluff #nct angst #neowritingsnet #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst #this turned out to be another loooong one #not as long as my last but still #i hope you enjoy my attempt #superm fluff #superm angst

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jenomark · 5 years ago

Note

nct 127 morning after (first hookup, make out session, sleepover, etc) reaction

Taeil: When you made time for Taeil, he made time for you. He had missed you so much that he took that time very seriously, determined to make it extra special for his girl. During the few hours he had you to himself, Taeil managed to mark your body with bruises, fuck your throat raw, and degrade you just as you liked. Knowing how normally docile he was, and seeing him rub your clit until you couldn’t feel it anymore, was a turn on. The way his face twisted, how he bared his teeth as he fucked you ,was something you desired. When the night ended, every nerve in your body was screaming out for him to touch you again. Taeil didn’t like people sleeping over at his place, but there was something about you that made him weak. You woke up in his arms, his soft body your big spoon. “Did you rest?” Taeil asked, his face buried in your neck. “Like a baby.” you said. When you got up to pee, Taeil watched you walk across his room naked, your body swaying to tease him. You were so sore that even your feet hurt, but it was the good kind of bad. When you returned, Taeil was getting dressed, and all he was wearing was a pair of dark blue suit pants. “Did I do too much?” Taeil asked, admiring your body. You shook your head no and kissed him on the cheek. He let you pull on his dress shirt and place the tie around his neck. “You like it?” he asked. “Of course you do.” The smack on your ass came down hard and stung, but it was exactly what you needed to get you through the day.

Johnny: “I don’t want you to take advantage of me.” Johnny said. Ever since he heard that you were sharing a bed, Johnny had been making jokes. You sat on one side, and he on the other. Very dramatically, Johnny placed a line of pillows up the middle of the bed. “No crossing the line,” he said. “I know it’s hard not to with me being sexy and all.” You laughed, shaking your head at him. Johnny asked if you wanted anything from the vending machine before he left, but you told him no. When he came back, you were already asleep. The sunlight hit your face in the morning, its bright rays making your eyelids so warm. You opened your eyes feeling refreshed, and saw a foot right next to your head. When you screamed, Johnny also woke up. Both of you leaned up at the same time and nearly bopped heads. “What the-” Johnny said. You were laying on the opposite end of the bed-on Johnny’s side- with his legs on either side of you, and your legs draped over his. It looked like some weird sexual position. “How did I get like this?” you asked. Johnny laughed, “My feet were in your face.” He was resting back on his elbows and enjoying this mix-up a little too much. He wiggled his toes, you made a disgusted face, and rolled off of him. “You know,” Johnny said. “You could have told me about your foot fetish. I’m sure we could have worked something out. Instead of tit for tat we could have had a tit for toe.” You hit Johnny with a pillow before he could go any further.

Taeyong: He said kissing you was his happy place. He straddled you on your kitchen chair and kissed your lips, his eagerness at wanting you take a break feeling very charming. You let your head fall back into his hands. As he kissed you, you moaned in approval, a little laughter getting caught in your throat. “Just one more hour,” you said. “One more hour and we can kiss all night.” Taeyong took the pen out of your hand and held it hostage, so that you would cave easily. There wasn’t much you couldn’t resist, but pouty Taeyong was one of them. After you agreed, he got off your lap, dropping your pen as he did. At the same time, both you and Taeyong bent to pick it up, knocking heads in the process. After that, everything went black. When you came to, you were on the floor, and Taeyong was freaking out to someone over the phone, telling them that his big head had killed you. “Taeyong,” you whispered.” I’m here. It’s okay.” Seeing that you were moving, Taeyong hung up the call and ran to you. “My baby, he said. “Should I take you to emergency care?” You giggled. You knew it wasn’t a laughing matter, but he looked so cute being all worried like that. “Do you still want to make out with me?” you asked. Taeyong began to smile, but he was still anxious. “Carry me to bed,” you said. “You can keep me up all night so that nothing happens to me.”

Yuta: You dreamed a lot of bad things, your mind cutting scenes like in a movie. When you woke up, you stretched your body across your bed, and felt happy that the nightmares couldn’t reach you when you were awake. Your leg hit something warm moving around in your blankets. You screamed, convinced that the monsters had finally come to take you, and jumped so far back that you fell off your bed. “What are you doing?” a groggy voice asked. “Stop screaming.” You poked your head up and saw Yuta, your roommate, trying to sit up in your bed. Your purple silky sleep mask was on his forehead, and he looked so well-rested that you began to feel angry. “Why are you in my bed?” you asked. You got up off the floor and stood in spot, hands on your hips. Yuta yanked your sleep mask from his head and started playing with it. “Yuta,” you said. “You have your own room.” When he spoke, his words were so low that you could barely hear him. You told him to speak up, and that’s when he shouted, “There’s a bug in my room. I trapped it and ran in here, but you were sleeping. You snore in your sleep. Did you know that?” You took a moment to process things, and instead of addressing the bug, or why he chose to sleep in your bed, you said, “I don’t snore.”

Doyoung: You were both sober, so there wasn’t any excuse. You stared up at the ceiling to his bedroom, his blankets up to your chin. The benefits of being sober felt awfully bad, because you could remember everything. You thought back to last night when Doyoung’s mouth was all over your body. You closed your eyes to forget, but it’s like you could feel him there, your best friends lips in places you never expected them to be. “You’re thinking is so loud that I can’t sleep,” Doyoung said, rolling over. “Was I that bad?” Startled, you jumped hearing the sound of his voice. Laying next to you, he looked exactly as he always did, except now his dick knew what your insides felt like. “No,” you said. “You were great. Was I…bad?” You wondered what he was thinking, if everything was flooding back to him as graphically as it was for you. “I wouldn’t say bad,” Doyoung said. “You are greedy.” At that, you sat right up. “Greedy?” you asked. “I’m greedy? You wouldn’t stop going down on me. What was I supposed to do?” Doyoung shrugged and said, “You’re so uptight and you needed it. You definitely weren’t going to do that to me for so long.” You felt like you were in some bad episode of a television show. Doyoung, your best friend who had slept with you last night, was critiquing you on your sexual skills. “That’s it,” you said. “Get your dick out, Doyoung, we’re going for round two. I’ll show you who is greedy.”

Jaehyun: You promised yourself you wouldn’t get drunk, but then again, you weren’t good at keeping promises. You woke up in a bed you didn’t recognize, and that’s when you knew how badly you had fucked up. You looked under the covers and expected to be naked, but you weren’t. Quietly, you lifted the blankets from your body and swung your legs over the side of the bed. You looked around the mystery room and silently hoped you hadn’t fallen prey to some random guy at the club. “You’re awake.” a voice said. You got to your feet and backed into a corner of the room. “Who are you?” you said, holding your hand out as if it would protect you. “I’m Jaehyun,” he said. “ I live here. You don’t remember, do you?” You looked at the bed, then looked at the gorgeous man in front of you, and finally at the cup of coffee in his hands. “Did we fuck?” you asked. Jaehyun laughed softly. Before you could panic, he frantically told you no, that you had not fucked. “You were really drunk,” he said. “You kept calling me your best friend, and wouldn’t leave me car. I didn’t want to leave you alone, so I brought you back here. I slept on the couch.” Jaehyun held the cup of coffee out for you to take. “Oh,” you said. “Oh, fuck.”

WinWin: It was his twenty-first birthday. You asked him what he wanted to do, and although he took awhile to decide, his answer came out like he had always known it. “I want to build a fort.” WinWin said. So, you turned your living room into a living fort, just for him. The fort was intricate, with sheets tacked to your walls, big fluffy pillows making tunnels, and with every piece of furniture in your living room participating. It felt like another world. You spent the whole night laying together and eating marshmallows, playing board games and talking about life. When you woke up, your arms were sticky from sweat and sugar, but you hadn’t felt that happy in a long time. “This might be the best birthday present.” you said, looking around at your handiwork. “It is,” WinWin said. “I have the best girlfriend in the world.” You looked at him and felt yourself getting excited. WinWin had never called you his girlfriend before, at least, not out loud. “I know it’s not your birthday anymore,” you said. “But do you have one more wish?” You crawled to him on your hands and knees. WinWin did the same. When he kissed you, suddenly you never wanted to be a part of any world he wasn’t in.

Jungwoo: You thought he was a virgin, but the way Jungwoo fucked you quickly took any of those assumptions away. He knew what he was doing, his eyes watching you closely to see what you liked, and he always knew exactly what you needed. After coming once, Jungwoo kept wanting to come again, and again. You woke up in your bed alone, wondering exactly where he had gone. “Jungwoo?” you called. You were naked, your body aching from last night as you moved. You pulled on a robe and walked out of your bedroom, arms folded and ready for anything. Jungwoo was asleep on your couch, your television on and tuned to an old Snoopy cartoon. You walked over to him and saw how peaceful he looked. “Jungwoo?” you whispered. “Wake up.” He opened his eyes and leaned his body up on his arms. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to bother you.” He got into a sitting position and you sat next to him, smiling so he knew it was okay. “You can go into my bedroom and sleep, if you want.” you said. Without saying anything, Jungwoo laid down, his head across your lap. You brushed his hair back, and tried to remember a time when you felt anything resembling love for a one night stand. There was a first time for everything.

Mark: Before you fell asleep, you watched him dream. His eyelids fluttered and he whimpered, calling out your name. All night you had edged him until he couldn’t physically move anymore. His body was so tired and spent, you tucked him into bed and kissed him goodnight earlier than normal. Falling asleep to Mark talking in his sleep, saying things like, “Mommy, please” always made you wake up with a smile. In the morning, it was Mark’s turn to watch you dream. You opened your eyes. His hand was on his elbow, and a smile was on his face. “Good morning,” he said. “ A good morning for a good night.” Even though his words made no sense, in typical Mark fashion, you felt like kissing him all over his face. When you weren’t edging him, you could be found being his baby. You leaned in to kiss him, letting him take some of the control back from last night. “Get dressed,” Mark said, “Let’s go out and grab some breakfast.” You kissed him again, not really wanting to move. “Or I could grab something else.” he said. Mark’s hands squeezed your ass as you kissed him, and when you stopped, he let his hands travel further up your body to hold you tightly to him.

Haechan: Sunday nights were movie nights. You went over to Haechan’s dorm and laid in his bed, just as friends. With your head in the crook of his arm, both of you watched a movie on his phone every weeks end. This week, it was your turn to choose. “Hurry, hurry, hurry.” Haechan said, his impatience making you agitated. You were taking so long to choose that he was pretending to fall asleep. You playfully punched his arm and clicked on a movie. “This one?” he asked. “I heard this was terrible.” You berated him for the first twenty minutes of the movie, but in the end, it was pointless, because you both fell asleep. When you woke, it was Monday morning, and the bird were chirping. You felt your body shaking, so you moaned that you would just be ten minutes more. “Wake up, idiot,” Haechan said. “You’re going to be late for work.” You shut up, dried drool on your chin, your hair stuck to one side of your head, and said, “Fuck.” Haechan laughed, clearly enjoying your suffering. He watched as you scrambled from his bed, borrowed clothes from his closet, and hopped out of his door, one sock on and one sock off. “That girl.” Haechan said, shaking his head.

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stoopsbookstore · 5 years ago

Text

Kinktober Day 5 (10/05/2019)

Kink - Mechanophilia (Sexual arousal caused by machines), Bonus light impregnation kink

"I don't think we should take the contact."

The 10 guys of NCT Chop shop were in a sticky situation. An offical letter from SJ industries offered the boys 1,000 dollars each if they allowed the company to take over their workshop, the one place that they've felt free enough to be themselves and work on their projects.

"Where would we go?" Taeil asked the group, all with unsure grimaces on their faces.

"With 10,000 grand, we should be able to find a cheap enough place that we can work from, possibly in a better neighborhood and that could mean more rich clientele," Jungwoo spoke up, looking the letter over.

"We should at least try to talk them up to two grand a piece," Doyoung took the letter from the younger boy, reading one sentence out loud, "right here, it says 'We will stop by tomorrow,' meaning today, 'to talk about any problems and possible solutions.' We could talk to them then."

"But we still need to come to a consensus, take the money or not?" Taeyong, their democratically appointed leader, looked at the 9 other members, "all for one and one for all, remember?"

A knock at the large door shocked the boys, Yuta going over to open it, 3 tall men and a girl around their age on the other side.

"Hello," a man in a gray suit with the nametag 'Leeteuk' looked the group up and down, "you must be the gentlemen who work here. Is there a manager?"

"I guess that would be me?" Taeyong walked towards him, sticking his hand out, "I'm Taeyong, pleasure to meet you, sir."

"Likewise," Leeteuk shook Taeyong's hand, wiping his hand on his pants as Taeyong gestured the others to come inside, "this is Shindong and Heechul, and my secretary, Y/N."

The group bowed, Y/N keeping her eye on the tall boy whose coveralls were embroidered with "Johnny" in red thread on the left side of his chest.

"Now," Leeteuk threw his suitcase at Y/N, the girl catching and holding it to her side, "I assume you boys are willing to take the offer? I mean, judging on how this place works, you could use the money."

"Wel-"

Taeil was cut off by Leeteuk, "Don't tell me you're thinking about not taking the offern? 10,000 for you must be a lot."

"It is," Taeyong hid the disgust on his face for the cocky male, "but this is also our home, we've been here for years, some of us have even stayed here when we had nowhere else to go. One grand a piece isn't enough to make us part with this place."

"How about we talk about this?" Leeteuk threw his hands in a smug manner, "Shindong, Heechul, go with the others while I talk to Mr. Taeyong."

"What do yo-"

"Oh, that's right, Y/N is here too," Leeteuk looked at the group, "Lanky boy, what's your name?"

"I can tell you it's not Lanky Boy," Johnny looked up, displaying his name on his clothes, "I assume you can read, seeing as you are a huge CEO?"

Y/N and Johnny's nine friends started laughing, Leeteuk whipping his head around to give an annoyed stare at his secretary, the girl immediately halting all actions and staring at the floor. Leeteuk threw his hand over the shoulder of Taeyong as the tourgroups began to break off, Johnny and Y/N shaking each other's hands.

"Taeyong my boy, let's go talk," Leeteuk practically dragged Taeyong away from his friends, the leader looking at the other mechanics with a concerned look on his face.

"Is he always like that?" Johnny asked Y/N, the boy picking up a rag and wiping some grease off his face.

"Do you always keep those googles on?" Johnny touched his face at Y/N's comment, playfully rolling his eyes.

"They're stylish, but back to that Lettuce dude."

"It's Leeteuk and You'd be surprised how kind he can actually be when he's not talking about business," Y/N scoffed, looking around the huge area, machines, wood and metal decorating the space.

"Ah," a simple word out of Johnny's mouth as he notices Y/N's interest, "would you like to take a look around? None of the tools are plugged in, so no Final Destination deaths here."

Y/N awkwardly chuckled at the sight of the handsome boy, "umm, yeah, sure."

"We call this Ellie," Johnny pointed to a big machine, picking up a giant tube, "she helps us clean up faster, sucking up all the dust and dirt."

Y/N smiled and nodded along, watching Johnny excitedly go from machine to machine.

"Here we have a wood splitter, nothing fancy, just sort of does what its name says it does," Johnny gestured to a small room inside the workspace, "we call this the tool prison, drills, hammers, nails, screws, you name it, it's in there."

Johnny pulled out a chainsaw, pretending to rev it up as Y/N jumped back, still quiet so she won't interrupt Johnny's excitement.

"I call this Betsy, she's been my tool since day 1," Johnny showed Y/N the carved out name in the side of his chainsaw, "she's a bit old, but still works."

"How did you get into mechanics and tools?" Y/N walked over to a table, a nailgun, a drill and some screws scattered on the top.

"They're sexy," a laugh from Y/N causing Johnny to make fingers gun, "but seriously, Taeyong and Taeil needed someone else to help them with their projects and I was in the same woodshop class with them a few years ago."

Y/N walked around, exploring the shop, "do you want to continue giving me the tour?"

"Sure, why not? This is a table saw, one of my friends actually almost got injured real bad by this one," Johnny started fucking with the machine, spinning the sawblade as Y/N visibly freaked out while Johnny played with the sharp tool, "she was using this tool for a show that her class was putting on, one of the triangles she was cutting had a nail or staple in it and it shut out, narrowly missing her."

"Ohmygod, is she okay?" Y/N cringed at the story, Johnny putting the safety cover back on the machine, smirking at Y/N.

"Yeah, she's fine," Johnny put his arm up, hand hidden in his sleeve, spooking Y/N, "she just has to live with one hand!"

Y/N gently smiled, continuing to look around as Johnny watches her walk around, noticing her skirt keeps raising up, the girl having to pull it down every few steps.

"Why do you work for that Leek Dance dude?" Johnny sat next to the table saw, keeping his eyes on Y/N, "like he's such a douche."

"He's my stepbrother's friend," Y/N walked over to Johnny, "the one with the pinkish hair? Heechul? He's my stepbrother and one of Leeteuk's best friends. Leeteuk offered him a job and said he would only take it if I could have an internship."

Johnny nods, swinging his legs, "an internship? That's it? Do you get paid?"

"Yeah," Y/N shrugs, standing a few feet in front of Johnny, "but it goes to Heechul for the most part. Leeteuk says 'it's for the best until Y/N can learn to control her money,' even though, you know, I'm able to do so."

As Johnny started to speak, Y/N cut him off.

"You asked me a question, I get one."

"Ok, alright. What do you want to know?"

"What's your favorite machine?"

"Does Betsy count," Johnny jumped down from the table, his googles now around his neck, Y/N shaking her head, "alright. I guess it'll have to be the table saw, come here and I'll show you a better view."

Y/N walked over to the table saw, Johnny caging her in as he showed her the unplugged cable.

"Just so no one gets their face mauled, you make sure this is never in the wall unless there is a piece of wood under it," Johnny lays the cord next to the saw, gently grabbing Y/N's hand and placing it on one of the handles and placing the other on a button, "this right here is to move it left and right. Go ahead, push the button and try it."

Y/N pressed the orange button, maneuvering the power tool, Johnny placing his hand on top of hers as he lifted up the safety cover.

"Remember, it's unplugged, so it's not going to hurt you," Johnny repositioned himself in a more comfortable position, his chest flushed to Y/N's back, the secretary feeling her body heating up at the mechanic's proximity.

Johnny watched Y/N's hands roam over the machinery, her nails tracing each curve, Johnny feeling his pants tighten as he imagines her hands on his body, tugging at his hair and pulling on hi-

"Umm," Y/N turned around, looking down at Johnny's bulge that became prominent, Johnny stammering, "I guess you were right about machines being sexy."

Johnny barely opened his mouth, Y/N using his own words against him, the pair moving impossibly close to each other as they begun to heavily make out. Y/N took off her coat, throwing it to the side, and Johnny throwing the googles around his neck along with it.

Johnny helped the girl on the metal table, the table saw right next to her, pulling her shirt above her breasts as he immediately begun to suck on one of her nipples. Y/N's hands found their way to Johnny's hair, running them through his greasy, but soft locks.

Pulling away, Johnny unzipped his coverall, pulling his cock out his boxers, bringing Y/N in for a kiss, teasing her by rubbing his cock up and down along her covered core.

"Would you like prot-"

"I'm on birth control, just fuck me," Y/N shimmied her skirt further up, the fabric looking more like a belt, allowing her to spread her legs more, a wet spot growing in the middle of her underwear.

Johnny leaned down to kiss up Y/N's body before pulling her panties to the side, guiding his cock, pushing into Y/N. His hands immediately went up Y/N's body to play with her nipples, Johnny nuzzling into Y/N's neck.

"I'm gonna fill you up with my cum," Johnny nipped Y/N's neck, thrusting into her as she held a hand over her mouth, not wanting to be caught, "barely know you, but I'm gonna make you mine."

Y/N moved her arm to lean herself up, accidentally knocking a belt sander to the floor.

"Thing was a piece of shit anyway," Johnny helped her, holding her close to his chest, Y/N scratching down his back, "next time I see you, maybe I can eat you out in the tool closet, fuck you up the ass on the wood splitter, would you like that?"

"Yes, Johnny," Y/N moaned out the mechanic's name, her forehead slick against his chest, his pounding into her not stopping, "fuck me all over the place."

"Have you sit on the table while that shitty belt sander vibrates the whole table," Johnny nipped on Y/N's ear, bucking his hips at an angle that made Y/N's high start to creep up, "maybe do it in front of your boss, piss him off."

Y/N whimpered in Johnny's arms, the feeling in her gut twisting as he continued to whisper the dirtiest things she's heard.

Y/N hadn't noticed she came until Johnny pulled her even closer.

"Good girl," Johnny looked at her, his forehead sweaty and his eyes half opened, "now you're gonna be even better and take my cum."

Johnny thrusted a few more times, Y/N sensitive in his arms, his cum seeping out of his sudden lover. He stayed in her, grabbing a cloth from his back pocket and wiping her forehead. A moment passed before Y/N broke the tension, Johnny's hand caressing her back.

"Normally, you're supposed to turn machines on, not the other way around." Johnny laughed, pulling out of Y/N and pulling down her panties, putting them in his pocket as he fixed her skirt.

"You want these back? Make a date with me," Johnny smiled as Y/N nodded, hopping off the table just as the group came back.

"So, we have a deal, Mr. Leeteuk?" Taeyong smiled triumphantly while Leeteuk shook his hand, "2 grand a piece, we keep this area and teach a class every week?"

"Yes," Leeteuk grimaced, staring at Y/N in Johnny's arms, her legs wobbling a bit, "what's wrong with you?"

"She tripped," Johnny held onto Y/N's waist, "she accidentally tripped over the belt sander that Haechan left out."

Haechan looked down at his feet, Leeteuk looking for any sign of something in her eyes. When he couldn't find any, he straightened his suit jacket.

"Ok, it was a pleasure to meet you gentlemen, this is going to be a fine partnership."

Handshakes were had all around, Johnny walking up to Y/N, taking his phone out and handing it to her. Y/N typed in her phone number, texting her number so she could have Johnny's. Leeteuk called after Y/N, the girl walking as poised as she could. After the gate closed, Johnny's phone vibrated, the text bringing a big smile on his face.

That wood splitter idea sounds fun ;)

#johnny seo #johnny #nct smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct #nct 127 #nct au #kinktober #my writings

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always5hineee · 4 years ago

Text

The Final Bell- Chapter 16: Exodus (Part 2)

Chapter warnings: Mild language, graphic content

Word count: 1648

Story is also available under Taffysamg on Quotev and Wattpad.

To see the full chapter list, go to the “Final Bell” Tab on my page.

-----

The skyscrapers towered over them as they exited the van, the shadows casting across each other and giving everyone a sense of unease. As they settled on their feet, everyone stopped and listened, begging for the sweet chorus of silence. Unfortunately, a different symphony touched their ears. The moaning and screaming of what had to have been thousands racked the walls, some more recent than others. The place was definitely infested.

"We're probably looking at about a half-population." Jaehyun said calmly, startling Y/N by cutting the air with his voice. She forgot how long it had been since they'd talked, and hearing his voice in such a direct manner caught her off guard. Doyoung agreed with his statement.

"Based on the past statistics, I'd say so. That would mean for every thousand feet or so, each of us would be outnumbered 4 to 1." He said, validating Jaehyun's initial theory.

"It may be better to just go around." Mark offered. "We may have enough gas to make it to an empty area."

"We can't just leave Taeil." Jungwoo pointed out. "There's a high chance he's here." Rolling his eyes, Mark asked,

"Oh, really? Has he answered his radio?"

"No." Taeyong said. "And that's worrying."

"If he doesn't answer, it's his fault if his ass gets left." He grumbled.

"Mark!" The leader reprimanded him with a glare. Sighing, the boy backed off.

"Sorry, sorry. We'll find him. So, do we split up, or stick together?" Y/N wasn't so sure she liked either of those options. Staying together was probably safer, but it meant that they would have to take several times longer to find Taeil. Who knew what insane situation he had gotten himself into at this point? Still, splitting up... the memory of her last experience doing so was still fresh in her mind. Thankfully, Taeyong made the decision for her.

"Split up, we can cover more ground. No one wanders off alone, though. I don't care if you get in a fight or one of you gets injured, you stay together under all circumstances." Everyone nodded. "Alright, I'll go with Doyoung, Jungwoo and Mark stick together, which leaves Y/N and Jaehyun." The latter looked quite annoyed with this, but surprisingly said nothing.

"We'll go West," Taeyong directed, "Mark, you guys go North, and Y/N and Jaehyun go East. Everyone move to the right and we'll eventually all meet back at the van. Keep your radios on Channel 7, if you need help or you find Taeil, call everyone. Sound good?" Again, everyone agreed. As much as Taeyong hated to admit it, he was fairly skilled at directing and motivating his teammates. He had even made it so that Jaehyun wasn't complaining. Speaking of...

As they split off, Y/N watched him. Despite the eerie noises, they hadn't encountered any zombies as of yet, so they were just walking in silence. His strides were longer than hers, so she occasionally had to do a little sprint just to keep up. He obviously wasn't concerned with Ty's 'stick together' rule.

"You're awfully quiet." She noted, trying to spark up a conversation.

"That's just how I am." Laughing, she argued,

"No it isn't. Shouldn't you be chewing me out for something?"

"Fine, stop being fucking annoying and talking to me." Unsure whether to take it seriously or as a joke, she continued pestering him.

"What's wrong? You seem more angsty than usual." No response. "Is it the weather? Or you're astrology? What's your sign? Are you an Aquarius? I bet you're an Aquarius."

"Oh my God, just shut up." He demanded. Going silent, Y/N just watched as he pressed a hand to his nose. "You really want to know? Fine. You fucking broke Mark and I don't fucking like it." This surprised her.

"Broke Mark? What did I do?"

"I don't know! I haven't talked to either of you! All I know is that he's not acting normal, and he's evidently mad at you. Therefore, I can only assume that you did something to him. Conclusion: you broke Mark." Huffing, she crossed her arms.

"I didn't do shit. He caught feelings for me and he's mad that Taeil made a move first." At this, all the anger dropped out of his face, changing to wide-eyes confusion and shock.

"Wait- Mark caught- and Taeil, he-"

"Yeah, basically."

"So that's why Taeil insisted on going off by himself."

"I... guess so?" Y/N didn't really know any of them well enough to jump to that conclusion.

"He's not gonna be in the city. I'll bet you he's wandering around in the desert trying to get his head on straight. We need to go find him before he gets eaten by an armadillo or something." Reaching for his walkie-talkie, Jaehyun looked to make sure he was on Channel 4. Before he could press the button, though, Y/N grabbed it out of his hand.

"Wait! You can't tell them!"

"Why not? We need to find Taeil."

"Yeah, but... If you tell them he's not here, they're gonna ask how you know. I'm sure he's fine, can't we just sweep the city first? We need materials anyway, right?" jaehyun looked suspiciously at her, trying to sense any ulterior motives. Her fake smile was a dead giveaway, but he couldn't think of any reason to argue. They did need gasoline, soap, and food, among other things.

"I suppose... I just didn't expect this from Mark."

"What's that supposed to mean?" As she asked this, Jaehyun grabbed her forearm and yanked her to the side, stretching her muscles painfully. Stepping to walk behind her, he sliced the head off a zombie that had walked up behind her.

"Close call, thanks." She muttered. Recomposing himself, he pointed in the general direction that the thing came from, indicating the oncoming horde.

"More where that came from, ready up." It didn't take long for them to finish off the group, mostly due to Jaehyun's fighting skill. Y/N could adequately take out the creatures now, but she was nothing compared to his grace and accuracy. Now that she wasn't consistently fearing for her life in these fights, though, she could finally watch him work.

Unlike Haechan, who seemed to enjoy the maulings, and Mark, who needed a vent for his anger, jaehyun looked completely calm when fighting. Occasionally his face would twitch or his eyes would close as a reaction to a movement, but for the most part he looked like a statue. Every move seemed to come from muscle memory, taking out rows of perpetrators like he was just grinding for drops in a video game. As he took the last one out, he breathed out, shaking blood off his hand. Glancing to Y/N, he exhaled.

"What are you looking at?" She shook her head.

"Nothing. We should keep going." At that moment, though, their coms flared to life. Through the static, simultaneously, Jungwoo's voice rang through.

"Hey, uh, we could use some help over here. Got a big horde coming and not sure we can handle it."

"Where are you?" Taeyong.

"We're about five blocks past the tall blue building with the bent service needle." Looking up, both Y/N and Jaehyun locked onto the same building.

"We're close, we'll come cover you." Jaehyun spoke into the machine, pointing in the direction they were going to walk.

"Alright, hurry over."

"We'll stay on track." Taeyong's voice spoke through the static again. "Let us know if you need us too." They jogged over to the area, and sure enough, there was a small crowd of zombies all headed in the same direction. It looked as if they were coming up on the back of the herd, so their best option would be to fight through to the others by taking out the rear. If they had any further issues, they would call.

It all ran surprisingly smoothly, and after a few minutes, Y/N saw Mark and Jungwoo through the mess. There were only about thirty or so left by that point, so she relaxed and continued observing the others. Jungwoo seemed very hesitant to kill anything, but would shoot if they got too close. She couldn't even tell if he was carrying a knife.

Soon, the herd was narrowed to twenty, and then ten. It was only at this point that she noticed something was wrong. Very wrong. Jungwoo was now completely frozen, staring into the crowd. She was still stuck looking at their backs, so she couldn't see what was so horrifying. They had seen the grossest stuff: faceless zombies, ones that ate other zombies, teeth rotting, eyeballs missing, the works. So what was wrong?

Not long after, Mark froze as well. They were both staring at the same zombie. It looked fairly generic. Adult male, purple skin, groaning along with the rest of them. If anything, he was in good condition for a diseased. She wanted to simply watch, but couldn't help but jump in as it started to make its way towards the boys.

"Mark! Jungwoo! Watch out!" She pulled up her machete, ready to lop the thing's head off, when one of them screamed.

"No! Wait! Stop!" It was Jungwoo. In synchronization to the cry, Mark leaped forward to catch her hand, practically tackling her to keep her from stabbing the threat.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! That zombie is about to kill you!" At this, Jungwoo ran over, face still covered in shock. With both of its targets moving, the creature turned around to follow its victims. Now Jaehyun was captured in its curse as well, lip shaking in some unknown emotion. Turning to look, she saw its face. It looked vaguely familiar... Not someone she knew, but a picture or a reference, maybe? That was when Jaehyun said it.

"...WinWin?"

Go to Chapter 17

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kweebtrash · 5 years ago

Text

Eres Mia (M)

Messy Chapter 8

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut, a smidge of fluff/awkwardness

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: mentions of drugs/alcohol, talks about suicide, the teeeeniest bit of violence, possibility of emotional manipulation, jealousy/possessiveness

Features: unprotected sex, creampies, rough fingering/finger sucking, oral/throat fucking, a little hint of bondage, rough hair grabbing, squirting, overstretching/gaping, daddy/princess dynamics, choking, relentless/brutal/deep thrusting, a bit of overstimulation/multiple orgasms, also being covered in cum

Word Count: 21,103K

A/N: So explanation about this chapter: It has some cultural references that maybe not everyone will get but I can explain them if anyone wants to send me a question about it. If you haven’t figured it out (or even just made a generalization) Eri is afro-carribean (the exact island is left vague on purpose, but it would be in the latinx part of the cluster). There’s also spanish in the chapter and tbh use google translate and if you still have problems again just message me.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

The Boys Group Chat

Taeyong: 5

Lucas: what???

Ten: 5 what?

Taeyong: my score with Eri is at 5.

Lucas: HOLY FUCK

Taeil: OHHH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

Ten: how?? When??? What???!

Taeyong: last night. Shower. Against the wall. In the bed twice. And our usual against the door.

Lucas: how tf did u manage that??

Lucas: i thought you hated her

Taeyong: i never hated her. It was just the drama and shit

Taeyong: like at the party i just didn’t want a fight to break out. i didn’t want the cops called or anything

Taeyong: so like i kicked her out but it was just because i knew she would have thrown the first punch

Lucas: well you aren’t really wrong

Lucas: i don’t blame you for not wanting the cops to show up

Taeyong: i had under 21 friends there. I didn’t want them to get in trouble

Ten: how did you even manage to get her to fuck you???

Taeyong: she called me actually. She was drunk af but sobered up before she got here

Ten: i cannot believe

Ten: i haven’t even been able to get with her AT ALL lately

Johnny: wtf is going on

Taeil: oooooooffff this is….

Ten: the tea brews itself

Johnny: Taeyong what did you say

Taeyong: i fucked your girl. She came to me instead of coming to you

Yuta: dude this is…

Johnny: don’t go near her again

Johnny: i mean it

Taeyong: dude i’m not scared of you

Taeyong: yall arent even official

Johnny: i don’t care

Johnny: dont touch her

Yuta: johnny quit it

Yuta: you can’t hog her to yourself

Yuta: just like jae can’t hog quinn

Ten: just admit ur jealous and move on.

Johnny: im not jealous

Johnny: you just dont deserve her after the stunt you pulled at the party

Taeyong: clearly i do because shes been thinking about fucking me for a long time

Taeyong: maybe even while shes been fucking you.

(Johnny has left the chat)

Ten: fuck

Yuta: this is getting fucking ridiculous

Yuta: i mean she texted me like when she was with him i think

Yuta: like she didnt care that she was with him and was being cute with me

Lucas: she flirts with everyone

Lucas: do you think she does actually wanna be with him?

Taeyong: who cares

Taeyong: fact of the matter is shes up for grabs

Taeyong: and if I wanna go after her i will

Yuta: WHOA WHOA

Yuta: you mean try and date her?

Ten: taeyong thats not a good idea

Taeyong: i never said id date her

Taeyong: but if shit happens, shit happens

Taeyong: thats all im saying

–

It was strange waking up in bed next to Taeyong. We had never done that before especially since the last time we were together we had to leave the office quickly. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, his shaggy hair ruffled and sticking up in random places and lips slightly pouted. I watched his chest rise and fall with each soft breath for a moment while I tried to keep my head from spinning. This…might have been a bad idea. I was in my feelings for Johnny and I knew that I only hooked up with Taeyong as a sort of rebound/revenge plot. I didn’t want to tell him that but I was sure we were still platonic enough that it didn’t matter. Taeyong wouldn’t make things weird or messy. This would just be a one time thing…or a five time thing. We may have gotten a bit carried away. He was tentative in the shower, making sure that I was still sober enough to be okay. He washed me, helped me wash my hair, and let the heated water run over me to warm me up. And when he slid down to wash my legs his lips met between my thighs and I couldn’t help but give in to his tongue.

He was no Taeil but he knew enough to make me try and steady myself against the slippery tile and grip onto his hair tightly. It was relaxing to finally get off by being eaten out, to just sit back and let him do all the work. It was definitely something I missed. After the shower, we dried off and he put me into some of his pjs (which were tight as all hell on me) and we relaxed in his bed. I got some more water in me and slowly weaned off the rest of the alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of trying to sleep we got lost in each other’s lips which somehow lead to him keeping me against his bedroom wall and fucking me as deep as he could go. Mid morning came and we didn’t want to get up. So of course the next option was to 69 then fuck me into the mattress. Just when I thought I would finally be able to leave he wouldn’t stop kissing me as I got to his bedroom door and we had a proper deja vu moment of last semester.

By the time I actually got home it was late at night and I was sore as all hell. I left him covered in hickies, scratches, and bite marks- my typical calling card- and he left me wanting to sleep for days. I collapsed on my bed unmoving for hours on end and barely making it to class the next day. Johnny was there of course and I tried my best to avoid him like the plague. That was always the hardest part. When we were on our highs, being next to each other radiated chemistry and we would rather pass the time sexting than paying attention. When we were on our lows, everything was ice cold and I detested even being within his vicinity. He still wouldn’t open up to me or even let me tell him that it was okay to cry. He didn’t need to worry about that with me. Of course he wouldn’t listen and we were stuck in a frozen tundra that didn’t let us move one way or the other. I tried my best to instead focus on studying for once. My grades were alright but they could definitely be better and I didn’t want to have to waste more money repeating classes. I spent my nights hitting the books and hoping I could retain enough information to pass. I was holed up in my room as usual when I heard knocking on the front door and i wondered if maybe Quinn forgot their keys. It seemed a little early for them to come home from being with Jae. I set my textbook down onto my desk and padded towards the living room. When I opened the door I hated what I saw.

His eyes were bright red and he reeked of menthol and weed. He leaned against the door frame, a big grin on his face that happiness didn’t seem to be the cause of. “What are you doing here?” I whispered in disbelief.

“What am i doing here?” He licked his lips and chuckled. “What are you doing fucking Taeyong?”

My eyes went wide. “Did he…did he tell you?”

“He told everyone in our chat. 5 times, huh? That a record or something?”

I backed away from him hating how he was acting and being hurt that what I did was blasted over some group chat. I couldn’t believe Taeyong would do something like that. I had stated plenty of times who i had hooked up with but it was on my terms, with my permission, not like gossiping around a watering hole. “You need to leave.” I swallowed hard and didn’t look at him. My voice was too unsteady for that.

I heard the door snap shut and looked up to find him looming over me. “Not a chance. Not until I make you forget all about that stupid bastard.”

He grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me towards him, easily overpowering me to crash his lips against mine. I clawed at his coat, digging into the soft fabric as I tried forcing myself away. I slammed the side of my fist into his chest and pushed him back. “NO! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to come back into my life whenever you decide to! I’m not something to have at your convenience and I sure as hell don’t need you to keep leading me on.”

“Leading you on? Where am I leading you too?” His hands still had a hold of my neck and shoulders which I could not shake.

I could feel the tears already trying to come forth but i grounded myself, dug deep within me to stop them. “Leading me to you. I always get led back to you.”

“You don’t want to get led back to me.” He laughed. “I’m fuckin’ useless!”

I grabbed at his hands, wanting them off me. “Stop that! I’m not your fucking therapy and my purpose is not to fix you.”

“I don’t want to be fixed! I want to be fucked!”

“And that’s another layer to your goddamn problem, Johnny! Life isn’t all about diving into sex to make yourself forget! You need to reevaluate what’s going on in your life before you put your hands on someone else’s.”

“I don’t want you to have Taeyong on you.” He kissed me, gentler this time. “Or Lucas.” Another kiss. “Or Taeil.” A small lick. “Or Yuta.” He sucked on my bottom lip for a second before kissing me again. “Or anyone else.”

“You cant have me all to yourself. That isn’t how this works. You don’t want me, you only want what you see on the surface. You don’t give a shit about what’s beneath and you definitely don’t want to see it.”

He released me from his grasp and scoffed. “The surface? I’ve let you dig inside my brain more than anyone else in my life. You’re stuck inside there now, you can’t move. You know how sick i’ve felt, how weak i am, how less of a man i am-”

“Save that bullshit, Johnny! It’s not true! I told you it was okay to cry! It doesn’t mean you’re less of a man! It just means you’re a normal human being. Men can cry. Men can show emotion and they should. I just wanted to help…to be there for you.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve always had to be the man. There wasn’t any room for me to cry!” He screamed. “You want to talk about not wanting what’s beneath the surface? You’re already there, Eri. You’ve seen everything I could possibly hate to show anyone.”

“And yet you’re coming to me just so you can be buried inside something for an hour or two. That’s what it’s actually like to feel useless and discarded. I know you don’t fucking care and you never will.”

“This is starting to get messy…it’s a clusterfuck and it keeps growing.”

“You just keep fueling the fire.” I said. “I’m not going back. I can’t. My heart can’t take it. I hate seeing you like this. I hate hearing you like this and I want to help. I really do. But i can only take so much before you start swallowing me whole.”

He grabbed me again, pressing me against the door and trapping me between it and his body. “This is how you help.” His breath was heavy against my neck, tickling the sensitive skin there. I shuddered and failed to squirm away from him. “I know you’re not going to fix me. I can do that on my own, eventually, but right here, right now this is what I want.”

“Well i don’t.” The tears fell and i slammed my fist back against the door, pissed entirely that it was happening again. I shouldn’t be crying over him anymore. “I don’t want to be what you push inside of. You don’t want to know what’s really going on with me. You’d run away from me as much as I want to run from you.”

“You think i’d be scared of what you’ve done? What you’ve been through? Its nothing, Eri.” He grabbed my chin and and jerked my head to the side so he could growl in my ear. “I want you. Raw. Dirty.”

“You want me black out drunk? You want me with a broken hand through drywall? You want me bleeding out in a tub with a knife in my hand? You want me laying on the floor unable to breathe and falling in and out of consciousness? You want me running away from the one good thing i’ve ever had in my life?” My voice trembled again. “You want me hiding who i really am from my family? You want me watching myself be the cause of people’s hurt? Because that’s what’s really raw and dirty. Or do you just want to fuck as always?”

He hoisted me onto his waist suddenly, crushing me now to the point where i could barely breathe. I wrapped my legs around his as he shoved his forehead against mine. “Give me it. Give me all of it, Eri.”

I tried not to kiss him, i really did, but my heart shoved me towards it. My tongue slid out to creep into his mouth which he warmly accepted. It was angry, heated, rushed, and broken- like the entirety of our relationship. I was clutching onto him desperately as if I was trying to shock my system back into loathing him. It didn’t matter if I made drunken mistakes or if he made drugged out ones, every time, we somehow found a way back to each other as if we were tied with a string of fate. “Why?” I whispered when I finally caught my breath. “Why don’t you talk to me? For weeks at a time…it hurts…”

“Because i hate the way I feel about you.” He panted.

I licked my lips and hovered them over his. “How do you feel about me?”

He shook his head. “I…don’t worry about it. I’m faded as fuck right now. It won’t matter what I say.”

“Clearly it fucking does.”

“It’s only gonna get more fucked up between us.”

“It already is fucked up! Were fucked up! This whole shit is fucked up! We were supposed to hook up at the summer party and that’s it!!”

“Yeah and here you are fucking Taeyong and Yuta and whoever else you’d let inside you.”

I slapped him. The first time i’d ever wanted to hit him at all. I would’ve never laid a hand on him especially after all he had been through- i never wanted to be that person. Ever. But he crossed a fucking line and that small dangerous part of my brain was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me then and I fell right on my ass. I scrambled to get up as he stood there motionless.

“Dont…dont ever do that.” He whispered harshly.

“I didn’t want to! But don’t you ever come for who I sleep with! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to be a hypocrite because you’re fucking jealous! What are you even jealous for? I’m not your girlfriend!”

“AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!”

I felt a stab of pain through my chest that hurt worse than anything I had ever felt before. Was this…was this what Jungwoo felt? Had karma finally come to get me and pay me back for what I did to him all those years ago? It felt like I couldn’t breathe but I could definitely feel the tears flowing down my cheeks like a river. His eyes went wide and he took a step towards me. I took one back before sprinting to my room. I slammed the door shut, pressing myself against it and sliding to the floor.

He pounded his fists against it, begging me to open it. I was afraid he was going to break through the wood with how hard he was rattling the door. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my thighs, staining my pajamas pants with tears.

“I-im sorry, ok?”

No you’re not.

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this.”

Well it is now, so fuck you.

“I don’t know what I really want, Eri.”

I guess…i don’t really know either. Should you even be my boyfriend at this point? What would I do once I had you? Would my fear of love go away? Or would you make it worse?

“I like when we spend time together. You’re cool as fuck but we…we cant be like that. You know that right? I don’t get with people and stay with them. We can only fuck…”

I hate you. Go away. Leave me alone.

“I guess i’m broken or whatever you want to call it but i’m not a charity case. I don’t want you to pity me or feel like you have to take care of me. Like you said, it’s not your job. But for right now…this is how I handle stuff, just like how you handle stuff your way, you know?”

By being a drunk partied out mess, i know. Hungry for attention, starving for someone to care for them, and completely barren of love but wanting to fill that void somehow.

“I’m not fine. I haven’t been fine for a long time. My anxiety never used to be this bad. I never even used to have night terrors or panic attacks. It just got worse after…after the first time i got…you know, what I told you about before. Then college happened and it was so much pressure and I wanted to make my mom proud and happy and take care of her because my dad never did. You know even when i felt so fucking empty around Rixi, i didn’t sleep for 2 whole days because I was studying my ass off for midterms just to keep my straight A’s?” He let out a soft chuckle. “I have a 4.0, hookup with dozens of girls, work three jobs, go to the gym, and try and do my art. When i say that i run on energy drinks and coffee i’m not kidding.”

That’s adding to your anxiety, stupid. And so is the weed. And your inability to FUCKING communicate. Why do you have to be such a stupid dumb….MAN all the time?!

“I know that doesn’t matter to you-”

It does because I know you’re hardworking and care about what you do. You’re a passionate soul and i love that about you. You’re so dedicated.

“But i dont know…i guess I wanted to tell you anyway. I’m not making excuses. I know what I do is my own damn fault but i just wanted you to know.”

I shifted slightly and reached up for the door handle, scooting away to pull it open slightly. I peeked my head through the gap and he looked at me, eyes a bit puffy as if he had been crying too. He wiped his nose and made it seem like he was put together in his typical Johnny fashion. I still didn’t say anything but he crept his hand closer to me and extended his pinky. I looked at it for a few seconds before locking mine around it. He was quiet for a bit, the tension remaining thick and heavy. The quietness was only interrupted by a few sniffles from the both of us. I wiped away at my tears, wanting to remind myself that this was proof. This was what always happened. Either i ended up drunk or ended up crying when it came to him. Or both for that matter.

I truly felt like i should continue to make myself suffer with him. One look of those soft brown eyes and honey-sweet lips would draw me in and his soothing voice would whisper caring thoughts and expressions. I saw the blushes he had when he talked to me, the way he seemed embarrassed or nervous, but there were always underlying signs that proved he didn’t like me. Most blatantly when he said-no, yelled- that i would never be his girlfriend. Logic told me to run. When had i ever put a man before me or anyone for that matter? Masochism told me that I enjoyed the pain of being rejected over and over again and that it was a game. Lust told me that i loved when he got jealous and growled in my ear. I wanted him to tell me that I was his as he fucked me so deep and hard that I couldn’t move. Greed told me that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted all the attention, all the love, all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And rationality? That bitch was nowhere to be found.

“What saved you…when you tried to um…kill yourself?”

My head snapped up at the question. It hadn’t been posed to me since I met Quinn three years ago. It was something that I blocked from my brain and never reopened. But this was a test, to see if he could really handle what was fucking wrong with me. I squeezed his pinky tighter and finally croaked. “Daniella. She’s uh…she’s my little sister. I traumatized a 10 year old by bleeding out in a bathtub and she called the police and my mom. She tried to stop the bleeding. She cried but she kept pushing through. She was….so mature in that moment. More than I had ever been. She wanted to be there when they admitted me. My mom didn’t believe what was going on- more so in a sense that she didn’t want to believe that her kid was sick. Just like she didn’t want to believe I was gay at first. Eventually, she saw past it. She saw how much I needed her and how much we didn’t want to lose each other. But yeah…that was…it was Dani.”

“You know, her Quinceanera is in a week and I can’t believe she’s already 15. It’s weird how time flies…how I can’t exactly remember it all.” I continued.

“Are you going? To the party i mean.” He asked.

I nodded. “I have to. I’m like in the…so it’s basically almost like a bridal party. It’s real weird. But they pair us up and we walk down an aisle and Dani will come out with her big poofy dress and everyone will look at her and sing ’Las Mañanitas’ blah blah blah. It’s a precursor wedding and weird tradition I hated. So i never had one. And now, mom gets to put all her spite of her not having one and me not having one into an over the top expensive party for Dani, but you know…don’t help me with my student loans or anything.”

“Oh…sounds like a…journey.” I let out a small laugh and he crept closer towards the gap. I opened the door a little bit more. “It was my mom for me.”

“What?” I whispered.

“I was ready to jump off my school building after I got with her. I would see her everywhere on my social media and around town. I had to hide everything about how she made me feel and I felt like I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I sat on the ledge for a long time, thinking about it and staring at the ground. Just as I decided I was going to jump, I got a text from my mom. It said ‘hi honey, hope you have a great day at school! I love you a lot.’” He rubbed at his eyes and looked away from me. “I still have it saved on my phone- transferred over each time I got a different one. I look at it sometimes when i feel like utter shit. Then I call her.” He sighed deeply and I pulled him closer to me, the door falling open wider. “Have I ever told you thank you?”

“W-what?” I asked, stunned.

“Thank you. For being there for me. When shit hit the fan basically. You and Jae pretty much helped me through a lot. Is that like…a part of working through this? Admitting when you’ve been helped?”

I nodded. “It’s a start…”

He got even closer and kissed me, our pinkies tightening and lips slow and steady. My will was wavering and I was kicking myself again. It never failed. I pulled away and turned my head away from his. He sighed and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t make up for a lot of things, Johnny.”

“I know, princess. I know.”

“No, you don’t get to say that word to me anymore. That part is done. It’s only for people who know how to communicate.”

“Ok…” he said simply.

I let go of his hand and moved away from the door. He came through fully, sitting beside me now and set his arm around my waist. He kissed my temple then rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood quiet for a moment, trying to process everything. Nothing had gotten better at all. Everything was more confusing and more painful. I didn’t feel good and I didn’t want him here but at the same time I did. I looked over at his sad eyes, knowing he was truly sorry but still cementing the fact that I would never be his. Hurting was all I was good for and I accepted the karmic punishment.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and his eyes drew themselves to me. I laid nothing but whispers against his lips drawing him in to press himself against me and steal my breath away in a kiss. Gradually, our clothes began disappearing until we were naked in my bed, hands between each others thighs, stroking and thrusting until we were dirty with each other’s release. He didn’t let me go instead opting to grab my hips and keep me flush against me. “I want me on you. Not any of those assholes.”

“I’m not yours…”

“Tonight you are.” He dug his blunt nails into my hips and sunk his teeth into the base of my neck. It hurt with how hard he was biting down but I knew what he was doing; marking me so that whoever i was with next could see the deep bruise he was trying to leave behind. I clawed at his shoulders, whimpering pathetically and about to beg him to stop but he pulled away, pressing softer kisses to the deep marks instead. I shoved his head away seeing the playful smirk he had on his face.

“Ass…”

“You want a bite mark on your ass too?” he asked coyly.

I rolled my eyes and commanded him to get a towel to clean up the mess he made on my stomach. He gave me another kiss before scooting off the bed and heading towards my door. For a moment I thought I imagined it and had to blink twice but i saw him licking his fingers- the same ones that were inside me just a minute ago. He had never done that. Usually he’d wipe them on my sheets or something. I laid back and closed my eyes, tossing away any ideas of what that meant. I felt him on the bed again, gently wiping away his cum off my skin before laying himself between my thighs, his head on my chest. That also surprised me and i wished I knew what the fuck was going on in his head. Was it from all the weed? I didn’t really know how much he smoked before he got here. It could’ve been what helped set off his emotions and express his jealousy about Taeyong.

I wanted to pry at his stupid decisions and actions some more but I was slowly running out of energy to deal with arguing, anxiety, and my mood swings in such a short amount of time. I decided to lay in my self hatred with Johnny on top of me, our breaths flowing together into an easier rhythm. I closed my eyes and set my hand on his head. “Pet my hair.” He grumbled.

“You think that a half fuck is going to solve this?” I said, ignoring his request.

“No. We’re doing what we do best, hurting each other.”

“But why does it have to be like this?”

“Because it’s just who we are, Eri. It’s what we do. It’s how we function together. You want to call it off?”

“Call what off?”

“Being fuck buddies.” Yes was what I should have said. Instead, I shook my head and kept my eyes away from him. “Good…Because I don’t want to stop fucking you.”

“I don’t either…” I said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair now, pushing it back and feeling his sides that were grown out. "Remember when you asked me to feel alive?”

He nodded.

“Do that for me. Maybe me feel like I don’t fucking hate you for what you’ve done. Like i don’t want you more than I need to.”

He stilled against me and didn’t say anything. I could feel him looking at me and when I finally had the courage to meet his eyes I saw that he seemed to be hurt by my confession. Eventually, he mumbled a response. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

"Mostly i hate myself.” I hate myself for loving you.

“Dont, baby…” He turned my face towards his to continue our kiss. “You don’t need to hate yourself.”

“Just shut up, Johnny. Fuck me already.”

“Fine.” He growled and gave quick bites over my breast making me arch against him. I hissed slowly, gripping onto his shoulders and digging my nails into his skin. He morphed his bites into kisses, working to gather my nipple in his mouth to suck slowly but hungrily. Eventually, his kisses got even lower as he discarded my breasts in favor of moving down to the softness of my stomach. A little nibble beneath my rib cage jerked my body towards his mouth, edging my hips into eager swivels. I parted my lips to let out a sweet sigh and a small plead for him to keep going. His tongue dipped into my belly button, making me squirm against the wet heat. I inched my hands back to his hair to return him to my lips and stop his teasing but he had other plans. His hands suddenly came crashing down on my wrists, pinning them to the bed and practically crushing them. I winced at the pain and asked him to ease up but he only snapped at me.

“Shut up and don’t touch me, got it?”

“W-what are you doing?” I asked, nervously.

“Shut. Up.”

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowing hard and full of worry more than sensuality. I tried taking deep breaths but I felt like I was getting more nervous. Johnny was quiet as ever but I could feel his breath tickling against my sensitivity. I licked the dryness from my lips and just as I was about to try and pull away from his hands I felt it. It was small and gentle, just the tip of his tongue working over my clit. My entire body tensed and I remained frozen in place. I feared scaring him, or worse, triggering him. We retreated into minutes of silence that made my heart race with worry. “J-Johnny? A-are you-?”

There were butterfly kisses to my clit before his tongue reached out once again. It covered the entirety of my lower lips, pressing a slick heat over me and gathering the cum left behind from his fingering to trail it back to my clit. He trapped the bit of nerves between his lips, suckling lightly. I knew he was being cautious due to nervousness and unease but it was also amazingly tender and sweet. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and let out a moan hoping that he would take it as praise and a sign to continue. There was another long pause and my fingers curled in anticipation for more but there was nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at him.

He was stationary, his eyes glancing over my center and lips trembling. The grip on my wrists got tighter, too tight for even my own liking. “Johnny…you need to let me go.” I said softly.

“No. I-i cant…”

“You can stop now, it’s ok but you’re hurting me. Come up here. Come kiss me, baby.” He looked defeated but saw the pain in my face and finally let my wrists go. I didn’t immediately shake out the numbing feeling and instead waited for him to crawl back up my torso. I held onto him as tight as I could, covering his lips, cheeks, neck in excited pecks. He did it. With me. It wasn’t complete or full or satisfying by any means but it meant so much. “You did so good, baby boy. So, so good.” I cooed.

He hid in my neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head quickly. “Don’t be. It was good. A great start, ok?”

“I wanted to try…a little at least so you don’t feel like i did when we fucked in the bathroom at the party. You shouldn’t want to feel alive with me because you’re numb. I don’t want that at all.”

“I just wanna feel good is all…” I held onto him tighter. “I don’t want to feel like i’m going to be thrown away.”

“I-i wont…” He swiftly slipped out of the bed and returned with a condom on. He whispered as he pulled my legs around him, pressing himself at my entrance. “I wont…”

“But you can’t promise that.” I swallowed hard and felt him sink into me inch by inch. The rest of my thoughts were voided by the methodical pace of him stretching me open. He ignored what I had said and instead focused on kissing everywhere he could reach as he thrusted slowly. My hands traced the length of his spine, resting in the center of his back and keeping him close. Inside my head I pleaded for him to not go slow, to not be intimate and stir up more dreadful feelings inside the pit of my stomach. Please just fuck me so I can be reminded of how shitty you are. Don’t remind me of how cute and caring you can be. I’m begging you Johnny.

I knew he couldn’t hear me so of course he didn’t stop rolling his hips to have his cock hit every space within me. He was panting softly, gentle moans mixing in every once in awhile. They sounded so precious and I couldn’t help but bury myself in his lips again. His hand pulled mine away from his back just so our fingers could intertwine. Nonono, stop that. For the love of god don’t do this to me.

He squeezed my hand tight and I felt my tears resurface. This is what scared me the most. Not him leaving or him ignoring me or throwing me away. This Johnny, the human, sentimental, emotional man that could have me fall into his arms (and bed) at the snap of his fingers. I was helpless against him and I just craved more and more torture. He kissed away my tears and nudged our foreheads together. “Hey…it’s okay.” He breathed.

It is not okay. It will never be ok. But he took care of me, stilling every so often to regain his composure as i could feel him throbbing and ready for another release. Worst of all was that I wanted him too. I wanted him to feel good, another hurtful self sacrifice because I cared so much about him. I gave him a soft plea to cum for me, which he took instantly. His free hand slipped between us, his thumb pressing small acts of pleasure into my clit as his other hand never left mine. He only squeezed my fingers tighter while my walls squeezed him the same way. Just at the very end his hips made quicker snaps, hitting the back of my thighs and making my back arch from the mattress. And in one fell breath i felt my stomach heat up and the most comforting sensation flowing within me.

My cheeks flushed as I had never felt anything like it before and wondered what the hell did he do differently. Maybe it was because i was so damn love drunk that it made everything seem better when i was with him. It wasn’t until he jerked out of me so harshly that I snapped my thighs shut. “O-ow! Johnny, what the-”

“The condom broke.” He trembled.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe what I had heard.

“Eri. The fucking condom broke.”

I looked down and could see his cum flowing out of me and staining the bed sheets, while the rubber had a slight tear across the tip. Our eyes met and panic slammed into me at full speed. “O-oh my fucking god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.”

“You’re on birth control right?” His voice was an octave or two higher.

“Well no shit! But it doesn’t magically mean it’s 100% full proof! People still get pregnant while on birth control.”

“I’M FULLY AWARE OF THAT ERI.”

“DON’T YELL AT ME.”

“I’M SORRY I JUST…” I noticed him staring at me which made me more uncomfortable.

“What? What else is wrong?” He shrugged but continued to stare. “Johnny. What is it?!”

“Nothing! It’s just…i mean-”

“Oh, you asshole!!” I flung my pillow straight at his face. “I’m literally fucking panicking and you think cumming inside me is hot!!”

“I’M SORRY!!! I’ve never done it before and it just…looks good, ok?!”

“You are the absolute worse and I CANNOT stand you!” I covered my face that was getting heated up by the second. How could he think about that while I was panicking? How could I think it felt good and perfect when i absolutely loathed cum (and was panicking)? We truly were fucking stupid.

“Hey, we’ll be ok. I know we will.” He said softly, reaching for my hand which i pulled away.

“Easy for you to say. You have the easy way out in case that happens.” I grumbled.

He kissed my forehead and laid beside me. “No I don’t, because I wouldn’t leave.”

I turned away from him, shoving my face into the mattress as I felt his cum sticky between my thighs. “Yeah right…”

“I’m serious….i’m not gonna be like my dad.”

“Alright well, we’re gonna stop talking about this. I’m gonna shower and you can go home so I can die in peace.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re not gonna die. It’s just cum.”

“I’m gay! All I am is dramatic!” I huffed as I felt all flustered now and wanted to get away from him. I stood up and cringed at the feeling of it sliding down my leg now. I awkwardly shuffled to pick up my already cum covered towel just to keep me decent enough to get to the bathroom.

“Can you stop saying that? Because i’m like…not a girl.”

I looked back at him. “Well no fucking shit, Johnny. It’s just a blanket term because you wouldn’t understand everything I identify as. Just roll with it. I don’t have time to explain.”

I grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom, locking the door tight. I tossed off my towel and turned on the water, sitting in the tub under the spray so i could suffer in silence. Eventually i ended up plugging the drain so i could sit in hot water for a bit and try and calm my nerves. I tried calling Quinn but didn’t get an answer, even texted them and still got nothing. They were still probably up Jaehyun’s ass or Taeil or someone else. I don’t know. I dialed again and waited patiently.

“Hello?”

“Doyoung, I need you please.”

“Be right there.”

He hung up as that was all he needed to know that something was wrong. I washed up, making sure to get as much of the cum out of me as possible, then rinsed and dried off. As i opened the bathroom door, Johnny was standing in the doorway, hand raised as he was going to knock. I glared at the lit blunt between his lips.

“’M leavin’.”

“Good. Bye. I have someone else coming over.”

He scoffed. “Wow. Okay. Fuck you too.” He turned away from me and headed towards my front door slamming it harshly behind him.

He made me so fucking irritated with his hot and cold bullshit. I trudged to my room and tossed my towel in the hamper, picking up my discarded pajamas and putting them back on. Around 15 or so minutes later Doyoung was in my room with an absolute cringey look on his face. “Look, i’m sorry but i needed someone to tell. You and Quinn are my closest friends and they’re not here. Please Doyoung…i know it’s gross.”

“You liked it…” he whispered.

“Please don’t remind me. I hate myself completely.”

“Why do you keep doing this, Eri? You are literally worth more than that.”

“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I wish I could just leave him but I can’t. Every time I’m mad, he shows me that side of him that I absolutely love.”

“That’s emotional manipulation.”

“It is not!” I protested. “Well…uh…maybe it is? But I don’t think he would be doing it intentionally? Why would he? He can get with anyone. He has gotten with a lot of people. I don’t think I would be any different. After all he blatantly said i’d never be his girlfriend.”

“And how did you feel about that?”

“I cried. Instantly. It hurt so fucking bad.”

“So we’ve come to the conclusion that a) he’s a fuckboy, b) he doesn’t want to be with you, c) he’s emotionally manipulative, and d) he couldn’t care less about what transpired tonight.” Doyoung gave me a shady look which made me shrink away like a scolded puppy.

“Well technically he said he would be there for me and then I kicked him out so…”

“And now you’re sticking up for him?”

“I’m not! I’m just stating facts. Doyoung, i know you’re totally and completely right. But i just…it feels weird. It feels different somehow.”

“I’m kind of sick of giving you advice and you ignoring it. It makes it seem like you don’t even care what I say.”

“No i do!” I grabbed onto his arm, sadly. “I do! i swear! I’m just a fucking idiot. I like to fuck up everything and keep myself down.”

“Why can’t you see that there are better people for you? Even ones that are right in front of you?”

I rested my head on his shoulder and set my hand in his, squeezing tight. “Doyoung, how can I…how can I stop when i love him?”

“It’s not easy to stop loving someone but…no offense- well a little offense because this is going to be hard to hear- you stopped loving Jungwoo because he loved you too much, you can stop loving Johnny because you love him too much too. You can run away and leave without giving him any explanation.”

I pulled away from Doyoung completely.

“I’m sorry for saying that and hurting you, but maybe it’s the kind of shit you need to snap out of it.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And if you’re so worried about what might happen I can go to the pharmacy for you.”

“I-i just need time to think…” i said quietly.

“Well, you’ve got three days until it’s ineffective-or less effective or whatever. You can let me know ok?”

I nodded and felt him crush me to his chest. I held onto him for a long time, happy to feel a friends pure love rather than the tainted mess from my heart.

–

Johnny’s POV

“FUCKING SHIT!” I threw the beer bottle I just finished against my wall, watching it shatter into pieces. What the actual fuck just happened between Eri and I? Tonight was fucked up- no, beyond fucked up to the point where I just ended up more confused and angry then I was before. I paced back and forth across my room while thoughts zoomed in my brain. I tried to break everything down and figure out what i could so I could attempt to get my mind straight.

I was pissed off at Taeyong. He was such a smug little fuck about hooking up with Eri, blasting it all over the chat. And why were they counting how many times they hooked up with her like it was some sort of game? I didn’t want him anywhere near Eri. She was mi-. I stopped pacing for a moment. She wasn’t mine. She is not yours Johnny. She is NOT yours.

My pacing resumed. He didn’t deserve to touch her. And neither did those other assholes. I wanted her to myself. She’s mi-. As i grew close to the door i slammed my head against it, not too hard but enough to try and get it through my skull that Eri was not mine.

I had told her she would never be my girlfriend because I was angry. I knew it hurt her the second it came out of my mouth and I wished I could’ve taken it back. Our conversation was so back and forth she probably thought I was crazy. One minute I was mad, the other I wanted to be with her, comfort her, be inside her and make her feel good. I didn’t want her to feel like shit because of me but I was failing horribly.

What even possessed me to touch her like that? So slow and gentle? It felt like I was having an out of body experience and I watched who I wanted to be for her come out and take over. It was what I wanted to give her for the longest time. Something more stable to hold onto rather than whatever the fuck I was now. But that didn’t go over so well for my feelings. I was faded and more emotional than ever, a bad combination. I wanted to tell her what I felt for her but i don’t even think i’m too sure myself. Feelings were there but what kind? Did I have a crush? I liked her? Wanted to keep being fuck buddies? Did I love her? My body shuddered at the thought. I had never been in love before so how could I know?

I’ve always wanted to be in love and have someone to care about. I knew familiar love and friendship love but not romantic love. I wanted to take my girlfriend to the beach, to Korea, to visit countries across the globe. Take pictures of us for vacation scrapbooks and eat everything we could ever dream of. Go hiking with her and hold her hand so she wouldn’t trip on a branch and hurt herself. Laugh when we thought of a memory we had together or hold her as she cried. But i was also scared shitless of all of that. Could I even be that good of a person to her? I didn’t want to end up being a carbon copy of my dad. Why would I want to be the cause of my love’s suffering and leave them behind with a kid I didn’t care about?

Fuck.

The stupid condom.

I tossed myself onto my bed and groaned. I was scared of that too. I’m only 23 and work at a fucking coffee shop, what the hell was I gonna do with a kid? I’m sure we were gonna be okay but…it still made me a little queasy. Except for the fact that I thought cumming inside her was fucking hot. I was a complete jackass for thinking about it at a time like that but I couldn’t help it. Like me: worried to all hell and back about the condom breaking, also me: holy hell I want to do it again. I facepalmed myself and let out another frustrated groan. I was ready to just throw myself out a window rather than face my embarrassment and mistakes. Now Taeyong was probably going to be up her ass and I swear to god if he got with her I was personally going to go to his apartment and kick his ass.

I sat up and started taking off my clothes, figuring I could just sleep all this shit away and ignore it. I flung everything to a corner of my room and reached over to shut off my desk lamp. I noticed my little keychain that I had got at the bookstore resting on the desk. I picked it up and shut off the light before snuggling deep under the blankets. I kept the keychain close to me thinking of nothing but Eri as I went to sleep.

A week had passed since that weird half fight/half fuck between us and I was starting to get a taste of my own medicine. I hated not hearing from her and I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if by chance I missed anything. She hadn’t even posted on any of her social media that I followed her on. Whenever I would hang out with the guys at lunch none of them talked about her, not even Lucas. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to keep myself busy with school work but found myself thinking of her more than I needed too. Sometimes those thoughts implanted little sinister buds of sinfully delicious fantasies and in the midst of being hurt and confused about where we stood I was jacking off to thoughts of her more than I needed too. It was multiple times a day, whenever I was at home and it was starting to get on my nerves. I shouldn’t have been thinking about her like that when I was the cause of most of this mess but it couldn’t be helped. I was a stupid slut and would rather focus on that then the pain I caused her. I was in the middle of rutting against my hand and mattress only a few seconds away from cumming when my phone beside my pillow lit up. The brightness in the darkness of my room distracted me and I look at the screen, ready to ignore the notification until I saw who it was from. I wiped my hand on my sheets and snatched my phone up, unlocking it and going to the message.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: hey

I typed in my simple response quickly.

Hey

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over

Fuck…did she actually want to hook up?

What for babe?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: we need to talk.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: asap

Talk about what?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over and i’ll tell u dumbass

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I mean it

Give me like 15 mins. Im busy

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: fine but dont keep me waiting.

I bit my lip and set my phone aside. It made me nervous to think about what she wanted to talk with me about. A small part of me was hoping that I could still get laid and have amazing makeup sex. But first…

–

Eri’s POV

I hated that I had to do this. With every fiber in my entire being. It was definitely up there with one of the worst decisions I would have to make. I didn’t want to talk to him or even make him think that I had forgiven him. I had purposefully ignored him like he had done to me so many times before. Even when he sent me the occasional text I left him on read. It felt good to have that power but I had to cut my reign of terror short when I realized that my problem needed a solution and fast. Time was running out and I exhausted all my resources. I knew I was going to regret this but it had to be done. My stomach was in knots as I waited for him. 15 minutes was a lie, it was over a half hour before he showed up at my place. His hair was damp and he smelled of fresh cologne and soap. I stared at him quizzically when I opened the door. He smiled at me, looking like he was happy to see me while I was mortified to see him. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy either. Just a white crew neck and some skinny jeans and winter coat but he still looked so damn good. Stupid fucker.

“Sooo…” he started, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit. I yanked him into my apartment and dragged him towards my room, slamming the door behind us. “Oh shit, ok.” He grabbed at his shirt, about to take it off when I stopped him.

“No! None of that!” I swatted at his hands. “That’s not what I called you over here for.”

“Oh…” he said, dejected.

I rolled my eyes. “Look, i don’t have any other choice. You were the last person on my list, so don’t like flatter yourself.”

“What is going on? You’re making me suspicious.”

I sighed. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Oh jesus christ no, not what I meant!!

“Excuse me WHAT?!” He screamed.

“AHHH FUCK, I MEANT PRETEND. PREEEETENND. PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!!” I tried to correct myself.

“AGAIN, WHAT, AND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THE FUCK?!”

“Ugh! Okay okay, back peddling.” I took a deep breath trying not to fuck this up even more than I already had. “Just hear me out ok?”

“You better start talking asap, bro!”

“I need someone to come with me to my sister’s Quinceanera this weekend. I have literally asked every single one of my guy friends and they’re all "conveniently” busy. I seriously need help.“

"Why can’t you take Quinn or something?!”

I sighed. “Johnny, if I show up with a girl as my date my grandparents would disown me and it would make a huge scene at the party and I can’t take that away from Dani. My family has this thing where they obsess over asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. I’m the oldest cousin so according to them I should be married and pregnant by now. My mom tries her best to keep them at bay but if I just show up with someone they will at least be civil for this party. Please. I don’t have anyone else. I wouldn’t be asking you this if it wasn’t a huge deal for me.”

“Well that sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.”

I was shocked that that was actually his response. It was a good effort I guess but I was stuck doing this alone. I hoped to all hell nothing would happen that would ruin this for my little sister. It was completely stupid that my family judged me based on who I loved or wanted to be with, that every question about my life had to revolve around me having a man. It always started with a blanket question, one that seemed innocent enough, but then veered into “when will you get a boyfriend?” territory. Not only that but I still had to be on the down low whenever I was with them. Dani knew and so did my mom who was still working to be supportive but that was it. I knew I couldn’t tell other people in my family. If I went alone I could just suck it up and be miserable the whole time which at this point looked to be my only option. “Sorry to bother you…” I said as i sat down at my desk. I lowered my head onto the top and tried to figure out a way to smooth things over with my family for one night.

“Eri…is this really that serious?”

I raised my head up and looked at him. “Yes. I just want things to go right with this, for her sake. I’m literally the black sheep of the family. I’m darker than everyone, my hair is curlier, i’m queer, i play in a heavy metal band, i’m not ultra feminine, and i’m as far away from traditional as possible.” I tried again to convince him. It was turning out to be more pathetic than I hoped for. “I will promise, like absolutely promise, to be nice and civil with you if you do this for me. Please Johnny?”

“What do I get in return?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Whatever you want. I’m too desperate to fight you on this.”

“Anything I want? You’re serious?” He asked. I could almost see the deviousness going on in his head and instantly regretted it. But I swallowed my pride.

“Anything.”

“Ok. I’ll think about what I want and let you know. I gotta dress up or something?”

“So you’ll do it?” I practically jumped out of my chair.

“Yeah, i’ll do it.”

“Fuck, you stupid bastard! You’re the best!” I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. “It’s tomorrow night. We have to drive two hours to get to where I live. It won’t end until late so we can get a motel if we’re too tired to drive back.”

“A motel, huh?”

“Don’t even start, please.” I went to pull away but he set his hand on the small of my back, keeping me close.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” He lowered his head towards mine, getting dangerously close to my lips. I swallowed hard.

“W-well…wear something nice and don’t be an asshole. Um…pretend like I’m the greatest thing to ever grace your life? Hold my hand or something…or hold me in general. Follow all my lies and try to remember them. Be prepared to be grilled by every woman in my family and subject to a bunch of sexist and misogynistic comments from my stupid uncles. They’ll be some kids there running around and loud ass music. Um…you may have to dance with me.”

“Oof…I’m not a great dancer.”

“It’s fine, i don’t dance much either. Oh and don’t get drunk. Oh! And don’t let me get drunk. I think that’s the gist of it. I may think of other stuff on the way there. Is that all ok?”

He cupped my face in his hand while the other held mine. He lowered himself to my lips and kissed me gently, barely teasing my tongue with his own and making my heart feel like it was about to burst. When he pulled away my lips kept following him not wanting to let go. He chuckled softly and looked directly at me. “Mi amor, siento que no puedo vivir sin ti.”

I shoved him away. “BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

He cackled loudly, clutching at his stomach. “Is that “boyfriend” enough for you?”

“Where the hell did you pull that from?!”

“You said it’s a Quinceanera right? I figured I could put my 6 years of Spanish class to good use. How’d I do?” He was still laughing up a storm while I was ready to call off the whole thing. I couldn’t believe he would be able to possibly understand my stupid family.

“How much do you know?” I asked.

“Enough. I’ll mess up every now and again but I think i could pull off a conversation if I needed to.”

“Christ. Ok…If they say something to you just pretend you don’t know anything. I know they’re gonna talk shit and then you can come back and tell me. That’s all we’re gonna do, ok? Ok. I’m gonna throw up.”

“Why? I won’t mess this up, okay? I know she’s important to you. We’ll be civil remember?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you, Johnny. Seriously.”

He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s cool. So what time is my hot date picking me up?”

“Probably around 4, i’m sure I’ll need to help set up and stuff. And help with makeup. We can get dressed at the motel because I do not want to walk in heels in the snow and i also don’t want to mess up my dress. Where I live my mom said that the snow is more melted and they have clearer sidewalks so I should be good there.”

“Alright, sounds good…so…what’s our plan for tonight?”

I raised my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I came all the way here and I figured we might…We could practice for being a couple tomorrow.”

“You’re going to give me a bunch of hickies and I can’t have that.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. All you do is bite and scratch like a little chihuahua.” He laughed.

I stomped my foot down and huffed. “I am not a little chihuahua!”

“How about I make them where everyone can’t see? Then we won’t have any problems, hmm?”

I crossed my arms and pursed my lips together, hating how devilishly convincing he could be. He was a natural born flirt and it made me want to punch him. I nibbled my bottom lip contemplating if I should really give him the satisfaction. He pulled his coat off and yanked his shirt over his head, showing me his perfectly toned chest and how low slung his jeans were. Asshole. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close so we could crash our lips together. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me, shoving his tongue past my teeth and coaxing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him down so I could roll on top of him. “What’s the real reason you were late?” I asked as I dug my nails into his stomach.

“Jacking off.” He grabbed at my tshirt and tried pulled it up but I shoved his hands away and pinned his wrists down.

“I knew it, pig.”

“You act like you don’t do it. How many times have you showed me what you like doing when you’re alone, hmm? When we facetime and I call you late at night?” He teased.

“Shut up, Johnny. You’re so fucking annoying.” I dove my head down to bite at his chest, leaving harsh kisses in my wake. He tried moving his hands but i kept him pinned, liking the fact that he was the one squirming for once. I moved just a bit lower to land a few bites before licking through the center of his chest and up his throat. His entire body practically caved in on itself with how hard he shuddered.

“Fu-fuck…” He licked his lips and tossed his head back, moaning deeply. I blushed as I watched, feeling myself become victim to how good he looked. I resisted the urge to suck on his neck and went back to his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth. I knew this would truly make him squirm but i didn’t expect how hard his hips would buck. I moved my head away from him to over hover his face.

“You’re not being a very good boy are you?”

He opened one eye to glare at me. “When am I ever?”

“I think I should stop. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Oh don’t you play that game with me, Eri! That’s not fair!”

I moved away from him completely and made my way over to open my bedroom door. “Out.”

He sad up with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re kidding?!”

“You’re being bad so you get nothing. C'mon now.”

“I’ll be good then! Whatever the fuck that means!”

I shook my head. “I’ll pick you up at 4, ok?”

“Fuckin’ hell!” He got up, his jeans visibly tighter and pulled his shirt back over his head. He grabbed his coat and made his way out of my room with the biggest pout on his face. Just as he had stepped out of the door frame he turned back to me. “Can I ask you something?” He propped his forearm above his head on the frame and looked down at me.

“What?”

“Besides us freaking out…did you…did you like it when I came inside you?

My entire face felt like it was on fire and took a step back as if that would somehow prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "I-i-i-i have n-noooo idea what you’re t-talking about!” I stuttered.

“I mean, did you like the way it felt inside you? Like how hot or how deep it was?”

“Please stop talking!” My voice was now a squeaky whisper.

Johnny smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it? See ya tomorrow, Eri. And don’t forget, you owe me one.” He winked at me and headed towards my front door, leaving me more flustered than ever.

–

I spent the whole two hour ride telling him about which one of my aunts would grill him the most and which cousin got pregnant first and who’s baby daddy was a complete failure and which of my uncles was most likely to get drunk and cause a scene. I was sure he wouldn’t remember any of it but I was trying to over prepare him for the shit show that was my family. I also needed him to make a good impression so it would look like he was actually happy to be dating me. Fake dating me of course. We checked into the motel first and I spent most of my time being frustrated with my hair and trying to curl it the way I wanted it. It just barely cooperated and i wasted about half a can of hairspray trying to keep everything in place.

My makeup was more softer and neutral than normal to go with my pastel pink floor length sweetheart neckline dress (which made me feel lowkey so pretty). Dani’s theme colors were pink and mint so I was able to at least wear something I would like. Just as i had slipped on my gown i realized there was no way I could reach the zipper in the back. I huffed and squirmed, trying my damndest until I finally gave up. I opened the bathroom door just a crack and peeked out. My heart basically exploded and I wouldn’t normally say that my basement could flood in two seconds but this was definitely one of those times.

Johnny was checking himself out in the large mirror on the other side of the room. He wore black pinstripe pants that hugged his ass like a dream. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled to the elbows and a fitted grey vest covered his torso. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, fussing with it until he seemed comfortable enough. He had an extremely nice watch on one wrist and a silver chain bracelet on the other. A few simple rings decorated his fingers and his black dress shoes seemed to sparkle in the fluorescent lighting. His hair was even freshly faded and his bangs trimmed and slicked back. Lord have mercy I wanted to die. I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before I called out to him.

His honey brown eyes shot up to look at me and I gripped the handle of the bathroom door tighter. “What?”

“Could you um…help me zip my dress?”

He sauntered over to me I tried to keep myself within the tiny gap of the open door but he pushed it open leaving me exposed to all of his handsome glory. He found the zipper and slid it up slowly, making sure the fabric didn’t get caught in it. “Do you want me to tie the sash thing too?” I nodded meekly and felt his hands smooth over the fabric under my chest and slide back to gather the ends to tie into a bow. It was such a simple thing to do but it had my body turning warmer by the second. I caught him looking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the sink once he was done. He looked shocked, licking his lips as if he was trying to say something but not being able to get anything out. I turned my head back towards him.

“Do I…do I look okay?”

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, you look alright.”

“Oh…” I said softly. Just alright.

“I mean like you look good, you know? Um…yeah, real good.”

I avoided looking at him as I slipped out the bathroom. I didn’t have that much time left before we had to head over and I still had to wiggle my feet into heels that I was sure would break my ankles as soon as I got into them. I struggled to get them strapped around my ankles, huffing when my boobs got in my way as I doubled over to reach my feet. I sat down at the small desk and tried to angle myself another way but it was still just as frustrating. “Need help with that too?” He asked.

I nodded, defeated and he came in front of me, landing on one knee. He slid my dress up to my thigh and took my foot in his hands, delicately securing the straps around my ankle. I couldn’t help but feel like Cinderella in that moment, even if my so called prince charming was a fuck boy. “Thanks.” I said softly as I stood up. He rose to his feet too and it was weird to almost be face to face with him, instead of staring at his chest.

“Oh, i don’t like this.” He joked. “I’d like you to stay mini sized.”

“Yeah well they won’t be on for long. They’re already killing me. I just need to get through the walk and first dance and then i’m tossing them.” I nibbled my lip for a moment before pressing them to his, which seemed to catch him a little off guard. “Hmm, it’s nice to not have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss you.”

“Hm, let’s hope that walk goes fast. I don’t like those heels either.” He smiled at me and offered his arm. “Ready now?”

I grabbed my clutch from atop the desk and nodded. “You have the room key right?”

“Yep.” We headed out of the room and towards the parking lot to my car. “You know, the pastel pink is really nice with your skin tone.”

I straightened up at his compliment. “You really think so?”

He opened the door to my car and lead me to sit down. “I know so.”

I laughed nervously. “A-are you practicing your boyfriend skills?” I tried to make it sound like a joke but he just shrugged and went over to the passenger side to get in. I swallowed hard and clicked my seat belt into place before revving up the engine. “Oh, remember how I said if I told you my government name I’d have to kill you?”

“Yeah?”

“Well you’re going to hear it tonight and if you so much as ever repeat it you won’t have a dick, got it?”

“Why not? It can’t be that bad!”

“Trust me, it definitely is.”

–

“ERIANNALISSE!”

I cringed. I cringed hard and wanted to shrink away into a minuscule molecule and be non existent. I didn’t even want to look at Johnny to see what he was going to say. I could practically hear him trying to cover up his snickers. I sighed and put on a fake smile as my aunt came to me with arms wide open to capture me in a death grip hug that could snap my spine in half. “Ay, mija! Look at you, you look so pretty!” She paused. “Have you gained weight?”

“Nice to see you too, Titi.” I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her shade. Her eyes went over to Johnny, looking him up and down and squinting her eyes a bit.

“Eriannalisse, quien es este?” She asked who Johnny was.

I grabbed onto his arm, digging my nails into his bicep. “This is my….boyfriend, Johnny.”

He waved and grimaced through my death grip. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Hm…” Was all my aunt said. “Titi Carmen has been wanting to see you. I’m sure she’d want to meet…Johnny.”

“Yeah, i’ll go see her in a bit! I have to find mami and Dani first.”

My aunt kissed both of my cheeks and left to go join the gossiping group of women in my family who all suddenly turned their gazes from their champagne flutes to Johnny and I. I turned my back towards them and looked up at Johnny. “I will literally pay you .25 cents to kill me. Just make it quick.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Eriannalisse. What’s the worst that could happen?” He smirked and laughed a bit which made me frown.

“Johnny, I told you don’t call me that. I’m serious. They can call me that because they don’t recognize who I am as a person. You can’t.”

“O-oh…is it a gay thing? Like one of your gay things that you won’t explain to me?”

I sighed and looked down at my feet. “Yeah, sort of. I’ll explain it to you eventually. Just not now ok?”

He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Ok, i’m sorry. I won’t say it again.” He leaned down just a bit and gave me a soft (rated PG) kiss which made me smile.

“It’s just hard being around them…I wish it would be a fun time but-” I suddenly heard vicious clacking before arms were thrown around my shoulders.

“ERIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” I recognized the overly excited voice and looked up at my modelesque baby sister. “I missed you so much!”

I kissed her cheek and turned around to properly hug her. “Hey, happy birthday.”

“You’re like almost my height!” She said, looking down at my heels. Dani was so graciously blessed with being 5’8”, skinny, with straighter hair and caramel skin as opposed to my milk chocolate. Her eyes were the perfect shade of hazel with flecks of green that sparkled perfectly. She was only my half sister as our fathers were different but we were raised both the same, save for the fact that she was a model and I was the throw away. “You look so pretty. I’m glad you’re not in black- Yooooooooooo, who is THIS!?” Her attention turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and mouth practically watering.

“Uh…hey.” he said sheepishly.

“This is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

Dani laughed and slapped my shoulder. “No, really!? Who is he?”

I pouted. “I’m serious. He’s my boyfriend.”

Dani looked at me then stepped up to Johnny. “What’s her favorite color?”

“Pastel pink.” He answered.

“Favorite food?”

“Pizza…and pasta.”

“What instruments can she play?”

“Guitar, and she sings.”

“What’s her favorite anime?”

“Sailor Moon.”

Dani squinted her eyes. “When’s her birthday?”

Fuck, he didn’t know that. I grabbed Dani’s arm, trying to get her attention from ruining our facade. “Dani, can you not grill him please? It’s bad enough Titi Lisa and probably Titi Carmen are talking shit about us already. Also, I haven’t told mom yet.”

“You haven’t told mom yet?! How long have you been dating?”

“It’ll be four months in December.” Johnny added. “We started dating right when the semester started. We have a class together and I thought she was cute so,” He shrugged. “Here we are.”

“Yeah but you’re hot. Eri has never dated anyone this hot before.”

“Well gee, thanks Dani! And i’ve dated cute people before!”

“Yeah cute, not hot. He’s hot. If you’re not going to keep him, I’ll take him.”

“You’re fifteen!” Johnny and I said at the same time.

Dani shrugged. “I mean…”

I held my hand up. “Don’t even go there. He’s like-” How old was Johnny anyway? “Way older than you. Stop being an instagram thot for once. Where’s mami? I need to know when she wants us to line up and start this.”

“I think at 8 exactly, but she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’ve just been chilling with my friends for now. This dress weighs like 50 pounds and I’m sweating like a whore in church.” Dani fanned at herself and hiked up the bodice of her dress. I looked at her poofy dress that was a beautiful array of soft Monet colors but way too 90’s barbie cake topper. It wouldn’t have been my first choice but I was sure mami wanted it to look as traditional as possible. “Oh, by the wayyyy, I know you have a boyfriend now but mami invited Josue.”

I straightened up completely when I heard that name. Josue was my childhood crush. He was older than me and I never stood a chance with him but we always played together. Once we kissed in my backyard and told me that he wanted to play house with me and be the daddy. I had been in love with him up until I was 12 when he moved away to a different state. “Jo-Josue? He’s coming? Here? Tonight?” I squeaked.

“Who’s Josue?” Johnny interjected.

“Josue is Eri’s big ol’ crush from when she was younger. All they did was play house together and be mommy and daddy and make kissy faces at each other. Then they kissed for real and he touched her chichi’s! But they never lived happily ever after because he moved away.”

“Dani, por favor, why do you have to be like this? I’m just happy to know he’s going to be here. I haven’t even seen him in like…almost 7 years. Besides I’m with Johnny now so it doesn’t matter.” I forced his arm around my waist and he clutched onto it tightly.

“Uh-huh whatever. Have you not followed him on Insta? There’s a lot of nice gym pictures. He hit a growth spurt. He’s like 6”3’ now.”

I swallowed hard. “Really? O-oh wow…”

“Sounds like a tool.” Johnny scoffed. “Ya’ll got beer at this place?”

Dani nodded towards the bar at the back of the venue. “Just fight my uncles off before they drink them all.”

“Cool.” He dipped out completely, leaving me and my sister to be swept away by our mother who had just stepped in like she was out of breath. She hustled to get us all lined up and ready like a bridal party ready to walk down the aisle. I sighed as I stayed in place, shuffling a bit as my feet already started to hurt. My mind started wandering to my childhood crush. Memories started bubbling to the surface; he had been my first kiss, the first to get to second base, and the first person I had wanted to be my boyfriend. He was three years older than me and I didn’t stand a chance with him. But his name was written all over my notebooks until I got my first girlfriend.

I couldn’t help but peek around a bit, wondering if he was already in the venue. I didn’t have much time to investigate as our entrance music started playing and pair by pair we walked into the main dance floor. I was walking with one of my younger cousin’s who I rarely spoke with so I barely paid attention. He had to yank me back a bit when I walked too fast and it made me want to punch him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny leaning against the back wall nursing a beer and watching me intensely. I smiled in his direction, letting him know I was still trying to be civil but he just took another sip and shoved his hand into his pocket. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose or if he genuinely didn’t see me. I chewed on my bottom lip almost getting swept up in my thoughts, that was until I saw Dani walking into the room.

Even though I had seen her just minutes ago now that all eyes were on her she looked sparkling and glowing. I’d never seen her look so beautiful before and it brought tears to my eyes that I tried wiping away as soon as they surfaced. I was a proud sibling then. She meant so much to me that I hoped that this day always reminded her of the happiest times she had in her life. We had our ups and downs but for the most part I was always there for her as much as she was there for me. She embarrassed me and I made sure I had to keep her in place before she got too out of hand. Even though I was far away from home now, I knew we would always remain close.

The floor was hers now and we dispersed to let her have the spotlight. I retreated to one of the circular tables while her and our mom shared a dance. It was normally meant for a daughter and her father but since neither of us had them in our lives our mother was the one who deserved to have that dance. I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned to see Johnny sitting behind me at the table. “Want some?” He said, offering the beer which i denied.

“I hate that kind. I’ll leave you too it.”

“She looks nice.”

“She’s a little shit but I love her.”

“I could say the same about you.”

I whipped my head around to stare at him wide eyed. “W-what?”

“I meant like you’re chill! Like i like you. Not like like you but like we’re cool. Uh…you know.” I stammered.

“Right…yeah, um…ok.”

“You wanna dance?!” He said, changing the subject quickly. Dani and my mother had finished their sentimental dance and the dj had switched to some reggaeton/trap mix Dani most likely requested.

“Uh, you mean make a fool out of ourselves?”

He shrugged and chugged down the rest of the beer in a few gulps. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. My cousins were already grinding with whoever they invited or dancing in groups and laughing. We could probably blend in without being too weird. I kicked off my heels and stood up, extending my hand for him to take. I should’ve had a drink before I even agreed to this. My stomach was already in knots and my anxiety was making me feel like I was going to look stupid but he took my hand and we found a spot in a little corner of the dance floor. I stood in front of him waiting for him to make a move but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Why the hell did he keep doing that? Was it a nervous habit?

“So…” he said.

“Are you gonna like…move?”

“I’ve never danced to this sort of music. What do I do?”

“Literally it’s the same as rap music in english. You just sorta…” I gestured towards my family. “Grind on each other and act a fool.”

“So you turn around and just like put your ass against me?”

“Oh my God, have you never done that before?”

“Listen I was a dork and went to high school with a bunch of white kids and we like listened to Ke$ha and Britney Spears. What do you want from me?” He laughed.

“That’s unfortunate.” I joked. I turned around so my back was against his chest and I set his hands on my hips. “I’m not the best but I figure I can put my ass to use.” I worked myself back against him, swaying to the music a bit in hopes of getting him to respond.

Instead he laughed nervously and held my waist tighter. “How do people not get boners doing this?”

“I mean that’s what the song 'Too Close’ is about. Don’t tell me this is turning you on already.” I teased.

He lowered himself to face level and turned my head towards his to kiss me. I held it for a bit, enjoying the way the warmth of his tongue flowed over mine until I realized if my mom caught me doing this my ass would be grass. I pushed him back gently. “Johnny! I can’t do that. Behave!”

“C'mon, I at least need to have a little bit of fun while I’m here. And then when we get back to the motel we can-”

I felt a tap on my shoulder then. Johnny and I both looked up to see a tall, absolutely golden, green eyed adonis that looked like he could pick me up and toss me around in an instant. If I could have heart eyes I definitely would. I let go of Johnny instantly, almost pushing him away as my heart started to skip beats.

“Eri!” I knew it was him instantly even if puberty hit him like a freight train and gave him a deep bass-y voice that made my hair stand on end. He opened his arms to scoop me up and crush me to his barrel chest which smelled of high priced cologne. My feet dangled just a bit when he lifted me. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Oh my god, Josue…Jesus, you’re huge.” God I hoped he was huge everywhere.

He laughed and I tried not to show how much it affected me. “Oh yeah, I’m really into that health and fitness thing. You really uh…wow. Definitely not a teeny bopper anymore.” He set me back down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket.

“Yep! Got bigger boobs now, haha!” Why did I say that? WHY???

He licked his lips a smiled a bit. “I can definitely see that.”

Johnny cleared his throat deeply. Josue turned his attention to the man behind me. “Oh hey, I’m Josue. Who are you?”

“I’m her boy-”

“This is just Johnny!” I interjected with a nervous laugh. “Just Johnny! Want to go get something to drink? We can catch up!”

Josue flashed his incredibly perfect teeth. “Yeah I’d love that.” He set his giant hand against the small of my back ushering me away from Johnny.

“Eri!” Johnny said sternly.

“I’ll just be quick!” I mouthed to him, letting myself get whisked away. He didn’t seem too happy about that but I could let him sulk for a bit. I was too preoccupied at the moment anyway.

–

Johnny’s POV

That was fucked up. Way more than fucked up and I was pissed off beyond belief. She was the one who begged me to come with her so she would survive her family. Now she was head over heels for some dude she had a crush on years ago who looked like the biggest douchebag to ever exist. He was taller than me and more built, had perfect teeth and no lisp. I wanted to punch him dead in the jaw.

I didn’t know what to do now. If I went after her it might cause a scene which I didn’t completely want. I still knew that this party was important to her sister and unlike her I wasn’t being an asshole for once. I could get another drink and maybe get away with being a little tipsy but her loud uncles were hogging up the space and the bartender’s attention. I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. my arms crossed as I contemplated leaving her and going back to the motel by myself.

"What are you pouting for?!” Dani said as she plopped down next to me, her poofy dress seeming to expand.

“Nothing.”

“Where’s Eri?”

“With precious Josue.” I said bitterly.

“Ah, so he finally found her. I knew he would.” She drummed her nails on the table thinking over her next statement. “You’re not dating my sister are you?”

“It’s complicated…”

“You’re fuck buddies?”

“Yes.”

“I figured as much. She can’t never lie right when it comes to me. So, you’re in love with her then?”

I snapped my head towards her. “Excuse me?”

“You’re in love with her right? I mean that’s the only reason you would be sulking over her because Eri went off with her new papi.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not sulking.” She was definitely Eri’s sister with how she blurted out things without consequence.

“Look, if you want to win her over you need to definitely do something that will make her remember you. Not that I want to hear about my sister’s sex life or even think about her getting p or v action, but if you got something she might like, go for it. And do it before she ends up going to Josue’s hotel.” She craned her neck to see where Eri and that asshole had gone off too. “Looks like he may have already given her his number.”

I looked in the same direction, my anger only getting stronger. They were huddled over their phones, laughing, with Eri casually (but noticeably) keeping her hands on him. I didn’t want to “win her over”. I wanted to stake my claim and tell him to fuck right off. The grip on my biceps got tighter the more I stared at them. “Ay, you got a younger brother?”

I turned my attention back to Dani, a bit grateful that she was distracting me enough to not go apeshit. “What? No? I’m an only child.”

“Wack. But like if you’re not gonna date Eri then likeeee…”

“You’re fifteen! I’m not going to jail nor am I interested.”

“Ok, ok…but like do you have any younger friends? What flavor Asian are you? Chinese? Or like them ones that dance on tv? The um…the Korean ones!”

“Oh my God.” I ran a hand over my face. “Yes I’m Korean. And no I don’t have any friends your age. My only young friend in Toronto is 18, which is still illegal.”

“Dammit. You know Eri be listening to that stuff right?”

I pulled out my phone, wanting her to take a hint that she was now annoying me without being too rude. “Doesn’t surprise me when she fucks half of Asia.”

“All her hookups are with Asian guys?”

“As far as I’m aware. But who fuckin’ knows.”

“Oooohhh I gotta mess with her about that. Guess she trying to get that carribean dick now.” She cackled and slapped my back hard as she got up. “Call me, ok?!” She said as she finally left me to join the gaggle of teenage girls that were her friends.

I rubbed my temples and took a few deeps breaths. I needed a smoke, badly. I looked to see if Eri was still stuck to Josue’s side but they were nowhere to be found. I looked around the dance floor trying to see if they might have gone there. Sure enough she was grinding on him now, definitely not as awkward as she had been with me. She was practically bent over and ready to get fucked by him. Fuck it. I stood up and weaved through everyone dancing to make my way over to her. I stood in front of her, watching as she came up from shaking her ass.

“Can we help you?” Josue yelled over the music to me. I rolled my eyes at him and took Eri’s chin in my hand giving her a deep kiss. She stumbled back a bit and gripped onto my vest. When i pulled away i licked my lips, tasting the slight flavor of her lipstick.

“Johnny!” She exclaimed.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, in his macho voice, trying to one up me.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” I grabbed onto Eri’s waist and kept her close to me. “She’s MY girlfriend. You had your fun catching up right?”

“Eri, you didn’t tell me-”

She looked panicked as she glanced between us. “No, wait- It’s just-”

“Come with me.” I growled in her ear. “Now.”

“Johnny , I swear to g-” I kept my arm around her waist and lead her towards the front door of the venue. When we were in the clear she whipped around to face me. “What the actual fuck?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing! You’re really gonna ditch me to throw yourself on him? After you begged me to come here?!”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him! We haven’t seen each other in 7 years! So excuse me if I wanted to talk with him.”

“Hard to talk to him with his dick practically in your mouth! What is wrong with you?!”

“Why are you being such a jerk again! You always do this!” She yelled.

“You’re the one being the jerk this time! I’m fuckin’ pissed. When are we leaving?”

“Leaving?! I have to stay here for at least a few hours! Clearly you don’t know how these go.”

“No, Eri, i fuckin’ don’t. But I do know that you going off with someone else while I’m supposed to be your boyfriend blows our entire cover. So either you fucking act right or I can leave right now. You sister already knows were lying.”

“Fuck!” She stomped her foot and sighed. “I knew she would figure it out. She better not tell anyone.”

“I’m pretty sure she won’t have to with you being stupid. Get me my cigs from your purse wallet thingy.”

“Get you-? Get it yourself! I’m freezing and I’m going back inside. And maybe i’ll still be talking with Josue!”

I grabbed her arm and held onto it. “Eri, do you want to go there? Really want to go there?” My eyes caught hers and i could see how hard she swallowed. Her chest was heaving chest a bit and trembling with the cold.

“What are you going to do?” She sniffled.

“Do you want to find out?”

“M-maybe.”

I let her go then opened the door, guiding her back inside. “Then keep it up. I dare you.”

She stayed quiet then but shuffled ahead of me quickly. I realized I had made her walk outside without her shoes on or our coats but it was whatever at this point. I needed her to know that I wasn’t playing games any more. She was mine.

–*

Eri’s POV

I could barely keep up with Johnny’s long strides from the parking lot to the door of our motel room. He continued his little tyrade of sticking by me and keeping me from Josue, never letting go of my hand, or my waist, even when he went through the ringer of meeting more members of my family. Him being pissed off had me pissed off and it didn’t help when my family told me how fat I looked, or asked when Johnny and I were getting married, or why I had spent so much time in college, or even that what I was studying wasn’t going to get me a real job. It made the entire rest of the night absolutely fucking miserable. Not to mention when I told my mother I was going to spend the night in the motel with Johnny instead of driving home at midnight she blew up on me, saying that it wasn’t right and insisting that I stay at the house. I refused to and I had no idea why she still thought I was some sort of Virgin de Guadalupe or some shit. It was another fight to end this magical night. I gave up and just wanted to take a hot shower, put on my fuzzy pajamas on and possibly smoother Johnny with a pillow as he slept.

Johnny barged into our room, not even bothering to hold the door open for me. I didn’t even want to deal with him since I was still mad at my mother for treating me like a child. I went straight to prepping for my shower, tossing my clutch and fake eyelashes on the desk and my phone on the bed so i could plug it in to charge. I unzipped the dress as best as I could without his assistance and shimmied out of it, leaving it a puddle in front of the bed. I didn’t care anymore. Not one bit. After I showered I pulled the too short towel around me and went back into the shared space. Johnny was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the desk and tie loosened. He was glaring at me and I swallowed hard at the intensity. He dropped his legs and leaned forward in the seat, undoing the first few buttons on his dress shirt.

I tried to ignore the effect he had on me and instead went to my duffel bag to try and find my pajamas. He stopped me as I passed by him, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in front of him. “Ow! What’s your problem now?!” I asked, still trying to clutch onto my towel so it wouldn’t fall.

“This night was complete bullshit. I’m your boyfriend and all you could do was throw yourself onto that guy and embarrass me in front of everyone.”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him!” I argued again. I hated that he was saying that. So what if I found Josue incredibly attractive and felt like a preteen again as soon as I saw him? That was my business and not Johnny’s.

“You grinded on him, got his number, and had your arms around him for minutes on end. You made me look stupid. I’m your boyfriend, Eri.”

“Fake boyfriend.” I corrected.

“That’s what I meant.”

“Why should you be embarrassed then?!”

“Because your uncles didn’t think that I was man enough to keep you with me. And your aunts talked shit about me all night.” He pressed himself up against me making the edge of the desk dig into my lower back. “You said you were going to be civil and you were far from civil.” He set his hands on either side of my hips, keeping me in place.

“A-ah, Johnny…back u-up.” I whimpered and avoided looking at him but he grabbed my face roughly.

“You wanna try that shit again, Eri? Hmm?”

I could feel his fingers digging harshly into my jaw. “I didn’t do anything wrong! You’re just a jealous prick that-”

He pulled away from me and shoved me back onto the bed, instantly hovering over me. My towel fell open just like my legs and he pinned both my wrists above my head in one of his large hands. I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat increase. I had no idea what had gotten into him and i was partially thinking about what Doyoung had said about Johnny. Was he actually trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad for being with Josue? I bit my lip as I thought, wondering what his next move would be. “Get off me.” I tried to sound strong but it was a pathetic attempt.

“Open.” He demanded.

“W-what?” What the hell did he want? I figured it out quickly as three of his fingers dove down my throat almost making me gag. I squirmed against him, trying to edge my head away but he was adding more of his weight onto me as his fingers plowed into my mouth. His knee was pressed right into my center, the residual wetness from the shower dampening the fabric. I tried swallowing around the invasion when his knee started to rock into me.

“Suck harder, Eri.”

I didn’t dare look at him. His voice was doing something to me as always. Stirring the pot of emotions and hormones that made me fall into a space of complete submission. This wasn’t like his usual ways though throughout or hookups I could see the dominance poking through. Now he was another person that I was desperate to get to know. I tried my best to suck deeper at his fingers, sliding my tongue around them and providing them all the wetness they hopefully needed. I knew exactly where they were going and i was going to be stretched far beyond my imagination. With his thrust his rings kissed my lips, shocking me with a bit of cold and excitement. I edged my tongue around the silver as best I could given the invasion that took up most of my mouth. Slowly the metal warmed up and I pressed my thighs against his, feeling a tingling throughout my center.

He pulled his hand away sharply, making me cough as his glistening fingers dove lower. Two were rushed inside me making my knees jerk up towards my chest and toes curl. I was already crying out his name, wanting him to slow down just enough for me to catch my breath and adjust but he ignored me. Instead he was working in the third finger, forcing my walls to flex and waver around him. He was already digging my arousal out of me. I could hear it so blatantly echoing in our room. I buried my face in my arm beside my head, still being unable to free my hands though I struggled as much as I could. He seemed to like that struggle as his fingers curled deep inside me, knuckles pressing against my entrance, the rings threatening to push past and fill me up too.

“Fuck, Johnny!!!” I cried out as my thighs almost snapped shut. It was starting to be too much and I could feel myself already crawling towards an orgasm.

“Quiet.” Was all he said as he pulled his fingers out to give me some relief from the pressure. I was throbbing and gaping around the stretch he left behind, my whole lower half practically trembling. He finally let me go and sat down on the bed. He splayed his legs open, unzipping his dress pants and beckoning me over to him. “Get over here.”

I shook my head, raising myself to my knees and shrinking myself away. I wasn’t scared of him, far from it. I was definitely turned on more than anything but I wanted to push him further than he had ever been capable of. He wanted to be a jealous boyfriend that pushed my buttons well I was going to push right back. “You’re being a jerk. I’m not giving you the satisfaction, especially after you decided to barge in there with your giant ass fingers!”

He lurched forward and grabbed onto my arm before I could wiggle away. He yanked me to his chest then gripped the back of my neck hard. Our eyes met before he pulled me close to his lips. “I like it better when you don’t talk.”

I squinted at him, almost in shock that he used my own line against me. “You fucker.”

He pressed me down towards his lap though I tried to resist as much as I could. It was no use as he was stronger than me and I was face to face with his growing length trapped within his briefs. His hand was now digging into my hair keeping me firmly in place. I landed a bite to his hipbone making sure he knew I wasn’t too pleased in the way he was handling me. He hissed out my name and arched his hips, his nails digging into my scalp. I wrapped my hand around his, trying to pry his iron grip away while adding kitten licks to the outline of his cock. That seemed to soothe him a little as I heard him exhale through his nose as he relaxed back against the wall. His nails quit marking my skin and he opted to push my hair away from my face gently instead of trying to rip it out.

I slid his briefs back and guided him towards my mouth pressing kisses down the shaft before licking back up to the tip. Once I got to the tip, I took him in, swallowing his head completely. I shifted my hips to raise my ass higher for him to look at knowing it would tease him. I looked up at him and saw the full pleasure that was written across his face. His eyes had closed, his lips pressed together, and his fingers trailing down to open more buttons on his dress shirt. I popped off him and placed kisses up his stomach with each new area that became exposed. “I can tease that little spot that you like.” I smirked and added a slow stroke to his cock.

“Actually, I have a better idea.” He shoved me down onto my back and straddled my shoulders, his cock now hovering above my face. I couldn’t move with his weight on me and I was trapped between his thick thighs. He tapped my lips with his cock which I absolutely hated. I slapped at his stomach but he remained stoic. He only moved to shove himself down my throat, propping one hand against the wall while the other kept my head in place. He worked quickly to rock his hips against my face making me claw at him. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing, even with all of my experience, and it hurt like all hell. I was trying my damnedest not to gag around him but it was impossible given the fact that he was ramming into my throat. My eyes watered and tears fell against my will. My nails dug into his hips as I silently begged for him to slow down.

He was moaning my name, more than he ever had before, completely lost in the pleasure of torturing my throat. He looked fucking amazing, I had to give him that much, even if I hated what he was doing to me. I loved the way his hair was coming undone from the gel he used, the way his dress shirt lay open and his tie dangled above me like an invitation. The way his thighs stretched out his dress pants was a dream and I wanted to touch every part of him. I reached for the thinner end of his tie, pulling roughly so it zipped up to his throat. He lurched back at the sudden pressure and looked down at me. He must have seen my fucked up state because he pulled out, leaving me grossed out by the messy spit that connected us still.

"Fu-fucker. That hurt” I croaked.

He pulled off me completely before lifting me up to sit in his lap. He wiped away my tears and I buried my face in his neck, clutching onto his vest. He kissed at my cheek, pulling me away from hiding. “You ok?”

I sniffled and nodded. He worked his hands over my sides and hips trying to soothe me more. Of course he couldn’t help himself and gripped my ass tight which made me laugh just a bit. “I’ve never done that before…”

“Really?” He asked, surprised.

“Ok, I’m a hoe but like there are some things I haven’t done before. You have to remember you dick is huge, dude. I’m small.”

He gave me soft tender kisses and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know, princess. I’m sorry. But don’t think you’re getting away with this shit either.”

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. “I stand by the fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Hmm.” Was all he said before he tossed me face down onto the bed. I looked back at him as he discarded the rest of his clothes, dangerously holding his tie in his hand. He mounted me, as I was completely his to take and wrapped the loop of the tie around my wrists, pulling tight. “You like this don’t you?” It was supposed to be a command but I could tell it was mostly an uneasy question and he needed permission to continue.

I nodded and smiled at him. “I like it a lot, daddy.” I gave him a quick kiss sealing my consent. I threw out my rule of not using our titles with one another since he couldn’t actually communicate but in this moment I need him to know that I was his to command and I was giving him as much power as I would allow.

He wrapped the length tie around his fist, keeping a firm hold on it. His other hand jerked my hips up while his knee nudged my legs apart as far as they could go. My ass was raised, arms outstretched, and my body was trembling with excitement. His first thrust was swift and hard. I could hear his hips snap against me and I was barely able to hold myself up in that moment. My arms shook weakly and I dug my fingers into the sheets as my mouth curved into a silent moan. He was almost too deep for me to handle and every slam into me seemed harsher than the last. I couldn’t really keep up. It was overpowering and I wanted to scream my pleasure into the tiny room though I could barely even mumble a word.

My fingers curled as I tried to send tension to my arms instead of my weakening legs. It was useless though and I could feel my stomach tightening. He landed a slap to my ass just as I tried to pull away from him and regroup. I hissed and bowed my head, breathing out his title again. Suddenly, my phone buzzed by my head, the screen lighting up and distracting me. I turned to see who it was and winced. This was the worst time for him to call.

Johnny pressed my head into the mattress and sped up his brutal thrusts. “Why don’t you answer it, Eri? Let him hear how good you’re getting fucked. Tell him who’s really your boyfriend.”

I opened my mouth to say anything but all that came out we’re soft croaks. I panicked when I saw him reach for my phone and I struggled to move to try and block him. “D-dont, please don’t.” I was finally able to say. He let go of his grip on the tie wrapped around my wrists and instead set it around my neck. The call disappeared much to my relief.

“What a shame Eri. Let’s see if he calls back or if he took the fucking hint.” I swallowed hard and nodded, biting into my lip to try and still my moans. He quickly latched his teeth into my neck, sucking deeply like he always did when he wanted to mark me. “Stay on all fours, got it?”

I propped myself back to my elbows as he forced my thighs to rest on the outside of his. I could hear his moan of satisfaction at the sight of me splayed open with his cock stuffed inside me. I wanted to shy away and hide but he wouldn’t let me of course. He resumed his grip on the tie, pulling it taught around my neck and constricting my air flow. My eyelids fluttered and i wondered if this was heaven. Jesus, it felt so amazing even if every muscle in my body felt like it was burning and my insides were a scrambled mess. While he made my back dip by pulling my neck by the tie I felt his other hand slid down from my hips to my wetness, flowing over my clit. I was grateful for the extra attention and wiggled my hips to rock back against him and dive further into his fingers.

His finger started to trail from my clit to dance around my gaping entrance and just like before he pressed the long digit in little by little until it was almost as deep as his cock. I pleaded for him to stop, it was too much, too overwhelming for my overly sensitive walls but he kept working away at my torturous pleasure. That, coupled with his thickness, made the tendons in my legs strain as bliss shot through me. My moans mixed in with my strangled pants as he dared to press a second finger into me.“J-johnny!!” I rasped. “It’s too much!!”

He pressed his body weight harder against me, keeping me pinned so I would have no way from escaping the overstretching. “You’re not going anywhere.” He whispered harshly in my ear, making me shudder. He curled his finger then, the pressure of his knuckles against his cock, and the sliding of his rings against my heated walls made me clench meekly around him. Johnny enjoyed seeing me writhe beneath him, seeing me try and focus on being a good brat when in reality I was starting to unravel into a brainless mess. Nothing had a hold on my attention like the buildup he was creating inside me. I could barely process the words he was saying to me with how fuzzy my senses were. He curled his fingers deeper getting right to the root of my pleasure. The head of his cock was edging as far as it could go within me, his fingers pressed into the perfect spot, and his thumb brought back smalls swipes and circles against my clit. It was a haphazard clusterfuck of intense sensations that all culminated into a harsh orgasm that sent my mind reeling. It felt like my cum rushed out of me, painting my thighs with a deep warmth that was astounding.

I squeezed my eyes shut as my entire frame trembled. My muscles seized, tensed, and finally gave out. I fell forwards, collapsing onto the bed in a breathless heap. My lower half practically felt numb and I tried to concentrate on not passing out. It wasn’t just the physical fatigue, the mental and emotional fatigue of the entire day weighed on me in that moment. My few seconds of recuperation was cut short when Johnny pulled his fingers out of me. I felt another gush then, making me a bit confused as to how wet I really was. It definitely felt different and I could hear Johnny make some remark though his words weren’t registering. He said something else and I nodded weakly, agreeing to whatever he had posed just for me to have the ability to relax soon.

But that was definitely wishful thinking. He yanked me almost to the edge of the bed and continued his brutal fucking. I let him grip onto the back of my thighs as he huffed out growls and moans. He was swelling inside me, making me wince yet encourage him with mumbles that I thought were words. His fingertips dug into me harder and that sweet heat spread throughout my body again. I smiled and relished in the feeling of him pumping into me, slower and slower, until he milked himself completely. I laid there, unmoving and enjoying the way he felt inside me like I always did until I i lost myself in sleep.

–*

Johnny’s POV

I felt her move beneath me and there was a stickiness and sweatiness between us. I groaned as I didn’t really want to move but I needed to break away and get some air. My hand was over hers, my body curled around her, and my cock of course still inside her. It was almost perfect save for the giant wet spot we were forced to lay in because she squirted everywhere. We had both fallen asleep almost immediately after and i just adjusted her in the bed for me to have enough room to spoon her. Now everything made me feel like I needed an hour long shower. I rolled away, letting go of her hand and putting my forearm over my eyes to block out the bright light of the room. How long were we even asleep for?

She mumbled something and groaned, blinking a few times before fully looking at me. “Hey.” She sounded like she had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day for the past 40 years and I cringed at my handiwork. She tried clearing her throat but opted that it was too sore and winced in pain.

“Hey…maybe you shouldn’t talk…” She glared at me and I shuffled a bit away so she wouldn’t attack me.

“I feel gross. Why is everything wet? What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened? We fucked?”

“No, no, I know that. But I was so tired at the end-” She paused to rub at her throat. “I felt like half asleep. It was good though but I was worn out.” She laughed softly.

“Well, you’re welcome for that but like…do you even remember your orgasm?”

She nodded quickly, her smile beaming. “Oh yeah.”

“You squirted everywhere and basically we’ve been laying in the soaked sheets because we’re dumb as fuck.”

“Wait…squirted? No, i can’t do that. I’ve never done that.”

“What do you mean you cant do that? You literally did. Twice. The first time when you had your big one and then when i pulled my fingers out. It was like…not how they make it out to be in porn. Like not some weird super soaker spray but like-”

She held her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t describe it any further. I just…holy shit.”

I pulled out of her slowly, never getting used to that amazing feeling. It got me every time. It also sent my cum dripping out of her which was almost as good of a sight as her squirting. “Fuck…”

She wiggled a bit, a look of discomfort on her face. “What the hell?”

“We’ll now we got my cum on the sheets…” I said, partially annoyed. We really had to get them off this bed.

“DID YOU CUM IN ME AGAIN?!”

Her yelling caught me off guard. “Yes? I asked you this time and you agreed!”

“When?!”

“What do you mean when!?”

“I’m sorry if I was too fucked out and tired to freakin’ listen to you blab during sex! But you can’t be doing that! It freaks me out!!!”

“Hey, i asked to cash in my favor and you definitely said yes so I did it. It is not my fault.” I sat up slowly and inched my way to roll off the bed. “Come on. We need to get these off and I think I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Aren’t you worried at all?” She said softly.

“Me? Not really. I told you it’ll be alright. We’ve got everything covered.” It was a lie but I was blinded by how good it felt sexually and I also didn’t want to make her panic more than she already was. I told myself I’d stop after this one last time and not risk it anymore. She didn’t move and I could tell she was overthinking again. I went over to her and scooped her into my arms, holding her bridal style. “I’ll have you get the shower started while I take care of the bed. She held onto my neck and buried her face in my chest as I walked her into the bathroom, gently setting her down in the tub. “You ok?”

“Y-yeah…” She reached up and pulled me in for a kiss that I held for a long time. It wasn’t deep or passionate but more so intimate and warm. I sighed and cupped her face.

“Go, ok? I’ll be right back.”

I pulled away from her which seemed to be getting harder and harder each time. Even if it was just back into the room it felt like a million miles away. I tore off the soaked sheets, glad that the comforter was still mostly dry, and tossed them in the corner of the room. I said a silent apology to housekeeping and hoped to all hell they wouldn’t look at it directly when they put it in the wash. I padded back to the bathroom and slipped in behind her.

“Turn around.” She said and I gave her a questioning look. She sucked her teeth. “I was just about to get the…stuff out.”

“Eri, i’ve literally seen you every which way. Do you really think I care how you look getting my cum out of you?”

“JUST DO IT.”

I sighed and turned around, picking up the little motel bar of soap and ripping off the plastic. I waited for her to finish, getting impatient about being in the cold spot. “Dude, hurry up.”

“THERE IS A LOT OK? You don’t cum like a normal human being!”

“Apparently neither do you, Splash Mountain.”

‘OH MY GOD. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.”

I snorted and looked back at her. “Can I please get under the water now? I’m freezing.”

She switched spots with me and I finally got under the hot stream, thankful to wash away a whole nights worth of sex. My time under the stream by myself didn’t last long as Eri snuggled up next to me, her hair a soaking mess of waves that framed her face and made her look like a painting of a goddess. “Too cold. I want to be next to you.”

“You big baby.” I joked and ruffled her hair. She pouted and poked at my stomach making me squirm away. Our antics made our shower way more fun than it should’ve been, mimicking the perfect time we had in the tub before I freaked out on her. It was almost like a do over and I was appreciative of that fact. Once we were done and dried we curled up, facing one another, under the comforter. And although we were both fatigued, we stood up for hours talking about shit I never even dreamed about knowing about her. By the time the sun rose I was able to realize that one thing was for sure. I was in love with her.

–

We thought everything would be fine after that, and it was between us, but on Eri’s side things seemed to hit the fan one after the other. Their grandpa, who was back on the island they were from, fell ill. Their mother didn’t let them have a say in anything and whisked them away, making them leave school and work behind. There was a looming threat that they could be fired or even lose their financial aid which worried them just as much as their grandpa’s health. Each night they were gone we would facetime just so I could see them. I missed having them beside me whenever I wanted and it wasn’t even about the sex anymore. I genuinely found that I liked talking to them. There was never any judgement and I started to understand why certain things were important to them. Now I had to be there for them and help them stay strong even though I knew they were crumbling.

I was laying on my side, my phone propped against the wall, as I watched them cry. There wasn’t much I could do, or even say, at this point but i remained on the video. They apologized over and over for crying so much but i reassured them that I didn’t care. They let me know that it was okay when I cried and I wanted them to know the same. “I miss you..” They hiccuped.

I sniffed and cleared my throat, swallowing my own emotions. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”

“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”

“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” They burst into another round of tears and buried their face into a pillow, muffling the heart wrenching sobs. I wish I could be there. I wish I could hold them so fucking tight and never let them go. It hurt me to see them like this.

“Baby, look at me, ok?” They moved their head up and wiped at their eyes. “When you come back here, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”

I finally saw them crack a small smile which made me feel a little better. “I know…I-” Suddenly, someone burst into their room. I couldn’t make out who it was exactly as the video started to pixelate. They had a conversation that I couldn’t understand but seemed stressed. They grabbed their phone and finally the video came back into view. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” Before I could even respond the video was cut off and I had my own disturbance burst into my room. I shot up in bed, looking at Jae who seemed to be distressed. Great, was everyone around me having issues at once?

“Dude, what the-” He held his cell phone out in his shaking hand and I could see a call from an unknown number going on. “What?” I asked, still confused.

“Talk. Talk now.” was all he said.

I took the phone tentatively and held it to my ear. My body went into shock as soon as I heard the voice that had haunted me for weeks on end. The voice that made my skin crawl and make me want to vomit. What she said next drenched my blood run cold.

“Johnny, I’m pregnant.”

#johnny #johnny fanfic #johnny smut #johnny suh #johnny seo #nct #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 #nct smut #nct 127 smut

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goldenswan · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 2 ( Lizzy P.O.V.)

5500 words - After getting out of the torture chamber, her fate must be decided.

Disclaimer: Violence signs depicted and swearing.

And now, here you are, trapped, unprotected and at the mercy of all those menacing eyes found in the room you just stepped in. They were all targeting you, how could anyone not feel vulnerable found in such a situation? Since you’ve entered you could feel the reek of danger and all your senses would shout alarmed to get yourself out. While your fight or flight instinct started building in you began to observe more your surroundings analyzing all the risks. The room was spacious and quite flamboyant, they were rich for sure, only by seeing this you know such a mansion you can only dream of, they can have a ballroom inside, but that’s not what you needed now. You soon found yourself drawn by the huge round wood table and all the people that were waiting at it. The two boys that escorted you went forward and took their places, letting a free chair in the middle of them.

My place I assume?

All of them were expectant at the last persons that were supposed to take their seats, you, and Jaehyun positioned at the opposite part of the table. From the sharp look, Jaehyun trowed towards and the sit down read from his lips you understood he was waiting for you, and he was becoming impatient of you being oblivious. You took his words and followed his demand. Only after that, he did the same.

Wanting to be that last. Does he consider himself that special?

You found yourself looking side to side at each man that was present, from left to right, strangely at the same time you became tinnier that you already were seeing how intimidating they were from a brief close up.

There are still many empty chairs, are they even more people like them in here?

You started counting and learn each of it as if your life depended on it, who might help you out and who will push you down the pit.

Jaehyun seated right opposite to you, with an aura that would make you believe that even at this round table, he is the center, he was listening to the man next to him, you couldn’t hear what he was saying but from their faces and the attention Jaehyun was having while listening you knew it was serious and private.

The man that was talking seemed a bit more wiser, maybe with one year older, but softer in eyes, he was wearing a full suit, looked like a true businessman but you already know what’s their business, they were mobsters. You could tell he was serious but still calm, he felt in control over the situation, only his eyes were becoming softer whenever he was facing the woman near him.

I am surprised to see a woman between all these men, but again, she looks quite scary too.

Still, the man was smiling so warmly to her, taking her hand carefully in his, feeling reassurance through her touch and the welcoming smile with loving eyes she would return to him. Soon the man realized his expressions and he went back at looking serious, well he was trying but the woman stopped from keeping a straight face. Seeing her smile like that, made you awestruck, she was so beautiful, and even more, she seemed exotic, maybe she was a foreigner. She was wearing a uniform, she seemed to be dressed similar to a nurse, but it felt way more stylish, her attention was only on the two men near her and what they were speaking. You had a small heart attack when she turned her eyes towards you.

Did she catch me staring at her?

You got a bit worried before realizing she was looking at the boy from your left side, he didn’t seem to feel her stare but when he shifted his head to you she also moved fast to not be caught, smiling unfazed at the men near her. You stared back at the boy you just met look.

How was he called? Jaehyun mentioned it. Was it Haechan?

The boy glared at you, clearly not liking for you to keep your eyes on him for too long so you moved your stare next to him, meeting again another man in a suit.

Even though he was sitting down, you could know, he was quite massive and intimidating. He didn’t seem to care that much of being here. He was the only one who was keeping his legs on the table, his arms intertwined and his eyes lost and staring at the window.

No one was bugging him, and sincerely you would be scared to do it too. He was like a lion sleeping and who is that crazy of actually disturbing a lion? He did resemble one, with his hair color, full of warm tones or maybe that it was a bit longer, not too long, perfect to emphasize his face structure. He did throw some sneak peeks at you, trying to not seem too interested, but who he can lie, those were the only moments his dull eyes would show a bit of energy. But the last look he gave to you was different. This time you were the one to feel a bit electrified, or maybe scarred, even he only kept his eyes fixated on you for a second, they were too feral to feel nothing from it. You gulped the knot he was able to make in your throat.

Why do I feel I would end up eaten alive in here?

Next to him was another man, and surprisingly, if the previous was a ferocious lion, this was the prettiest deer you would see. He might be older, but his soft features might make you call him boy at first even thought that was a man standing near you. His hair seemed fluffy and his eyes were so big, like those of a Bambi deer. He seemed gentle and angelic. Maybe he will be the one to save you, after all, out of all of this he was the only one who didn’t feel threatening, but again, you ended up in here because you believed those types of eyes.

But he also looked worried, he was shifting in his chair, shaking, never keeping his eyes in one place, he was anxious. The man from before observing it too started to try amd calm him down, with a pat on his back, encouraging him to “man up” or that everything will be ok. Now at a second look, you realize all of them are dressed formally. All of them except the two next to you. Well, one of them was formal, before giving you his coat, you touch the fabric of it while blushing at the bold statement the boy said it before you entered.

Who am I lying, since when boys can say things like this so easily? Am I that old fashioned?

You found yourself looking again at him.

His name… was it

Y/N: Jaemin You whispered the name softly, more for yourself, but he still picked it up, turning at you, with a bit of shocked face to hear it from you. It didn’t take long to welcome you with a reassuring smile and praising eyes for learning it so fast.

Jaemin: Uhm, you got it right. I’m proud of you. He nodded happily while you started blushing again at him and all this scene.

What’s this? Did I end up in a romantic comedy?

*** Jaemin: I like to keep this image only to myself. ***

Your ears started to burn while his voice and the fact he saw your bra right before to enter start playing again in your head.

Why his voice was like that? It won’t leave my head. That whisper was too close to me.

You moved your hand to cover your ears while still feeling them tingle from his voice. While you would go through this Jaemin would simply smile, enjoying that conflicted look on your face. On the other side, Haechan seemed to be unfazed at the beginning growing a bit annoying by seeing you and Jaemin. He rolled his eyes and sighed, turning himself on the other side, not wanting to assist more after seeing the scene. Turning his back to you made you see his leather jacket more clearly. He was the only one wearing one out of all of them.

Is he part of a gang?

Taking a closer look you could see what was written on the back of it.

“Nightmare?” I think I saw it before, but where?

Wait a minute, the boy that was with him when I got kidnapped had one similar.

The thought made you come to boil from the anger. You found yourself glaring again at the last man from the room. The one who also clearly tried way too hard to act like you are not in the room.

Goddammit, Lucas!

You are surprised to see him this time in a suit, and not the biker clothes you’ve been used to. While you worked at the coffee shop he was a simple customer. In the beginning, you thought he only liked the coffee from your shop, by visiting it quite often. You always tried to ignore the fact that you would catch him staring at you or your workmate’s teases that he might have a crush on you. He was handsome, but you didn’t want to allow yourself to get infatuated with such thoughts and dreams. Until the dream did happen and he confessed you. You only gave him his number, being suspicious of everything. For a few weeks, you only maintained texts and chitchat while you were working. He did walk you home a few times but none of you seemed to have courage to even kiss each other, you barely held hands, to begin with. You would lie if you would deny those moments, he made you smile only with a thought of him and you had butterflies whenever you would get closer to him. Soon you had your first date, you were so excited about it, and then here you are, you completely fell for his trap. He kidnapped you together with that boy, and you foolishly allowed them to do it.

Jerk

You muttered it together with other curse words towards him, but he didn’t dare to face you, pretending not to hear you.

what a man, rising the trust issues I had until now reach a whole new level. If I get out alive … you … are … so dead.

You were ready to rise from your chair towards him, before you hear Jaehyun cleaning his throat, bringing your attention back to him. He seemed mad serious about you to stay put, you wanted to fight back, but again, you were in no position to do it. He commanded to sit down, and again, you found yourself following him.

Johnny: Now what? Jaehyun: Now? Shall we start? Taeil: We aren’t all, but I think we can, Mei will reach soon, and Renjun was instructed to give her all the details before she comes here, Jeno is with them too. Great, more people to show up. Jaehyun: Jisung and Chenle? Jia: We decided they shouldn’t be here knowing the topic we will talk about. Jaehyun: Stop babying them Jia, being part of it means they have to face everything that is happening here, good and bad. They can’t stay weak-hearted forever. Taeil: You are right, but we advise it might be better to postpone it for the next time when our boss will be here to decide if they should or not. They didn’t take their coming of age exams yet. They barely bloomed into being adults, we need carefully to Jaehyun: How you just said, they did become adults. Next time they should be here. Taeil: I understand. This shall be done. The man slightly bowed his head to Jaehyun in agreement.

Even that he lowered his head to him, you could still feel a bit of tension between the two of them, a small break installing before they went to the next name.

Jaehyun: Where is Feli? Is she still sick? Jia: She is recovering at a slow pace, but soon… Haechan: You two did become quite close, covering her. The boy spoked loudly, interrupting the woman with a sarcastic tone, being heard by everyone, without changing a bit his position, laid back on the chair. Jia: Being so jealous, if you want me to take care of you find other solutions Haechan.

The boy blushed for a second, but that faded away soon, even so, this time when he opened his mouth to speak you observed his voice being more mellow.

Haechan: But we all know the real thing. If Taeyong is not the one initiating a meeting she won’t attend it, even though it’s her brother calling her to be here. Why does she get special treatment? Johnny: Hm, true, but knowing her chaotic nature, it might be better with her out, for now, I would have refused too to come her but then I would have missed the chance to meet such pretty sight.

You were taken aback by his comment, a small blush arising in your cheeks. As your eyes lockdown one more time he flashed you a cocky smile, before moving back his attention to the man speaking, who was not in the mood to see flirting at this time.

Jaehyun: True, I will talk with her after, she listens but she never had enough focus span to stay in a meeting.

Haechan tried to hide a laugh from his comment. As he caught you staring at him, Haechan trowed you an annoyed look.

Haechan: What, now are you starting to catch feelings for me too. I thought after ending up in this situation you would have learned already. Lucas or Jaemin, I would be more careful when it comes to boys noona.

Tch… another Jerk

You got annoyed, but more because he was right of what he just told you. Jaemin too, just like Lucas, or worse, he might throw in a bigger problem.

Johnny: What about Mark? Jungwoo: Mark decided to take care of himself of the body found dead today. Haechan: ugh

He sighed deeply Haechan: that idiotic hyung of mine. Again, taking a fault that is not his.You heard Haechan mumbling under his breath. That was the first time when you saw his eyes got a tiny softer.

Jaehyun: The body from the morning, right. What info we have, how did she died? Jungwoo: She was found dead at her home with an overdose injected into her veins. Johnny: Such a coincidence to happen to know that people were trailing her. Jaehyun: Suicide? Taeil: Actually, a faked suicide. Jia: I got a chance to check up on the body before reaching here, it showed light signs of restraints on her ankles and wrists, at the first look, they might have used a polypropylene rope for this, letting soft marks, it can be seen as only that besides drugs she also indulged into more strong sexual hobbies Easily mistaken for someone who might have a rope fetish, but such statement is true only if you don’t check her mouth, by looking closely, I observed some of her teeth have been forcefully and quite painfully extracted, they went for the molars, nothing to be seen upfront, hiding the actual pain they inflicted on her, there have been also signs of…..

Jia: cigarette burns …..

Jia: her body …..

Jia: mutilated …

Jia: they used a knife for ……

From there you lost your focus, you couldn’t hear anymore, your heart beating so hard was covering almost anything that she was saying, only small fragments would reach your ears letting your vivid imagination picture the whole gory acts, you started trembling from all the thoughts that were hitting you. With each new word, she would mention you would start to shiver harder and harder, forgetting any rhythm in your breathing, fear, and panic installing in by the gruesome acts she was describing. You could feel the stomach-turning upside down, a need to trow up combined with the feeling of your lungs failing of getting any air, you almost started choking.

Jaemin saw your face changing and acted quick reaching your hand behind the table. He allowed you to hold it as hard as you could, putting all the pressure you had into him. At the same time, he calmly stared into your eyes, reminding you patiently to breath, by accentuating his breathing, you soon start to mimic his moves, stabilizing back at a normal pace. A sigh of relief came from him he saw your pale face getting back to normal. The woman who was talking saw the whole scene, stopping from giving any other detail, slight remorse could be seen in her eyes.

Jia: The bruising may be minimal or invisible on the skin surface but they took their time in torturing her. We should be thankful to Doyoung for his connections within the police, we might have missed the chance of finding her identity and the case would just have been closed as a dead drug addict found in a bathtub.

Taeil: Also, on the identity topic, checking her info on the police data, we found that she changed her name and address quite many times, a runaway with light criminal records, a no-name perfect to use as a pawn in local actions, also more easily to have it confused when searching for a trail, the man stopped for a second fixing his gaze on you, his eyes shown worry and resentment. She is innocent.

Mei: So it was a mistake!

A loud voice was heard from the backside while the door opened. You turned around to be faced by possibly the most gorgeous woman you have met until now in your life. From head to toe, she was sparkling, from her black silk dress, the brown fur coat worn only on the half, letting a shoulder to be seen, the glamorous shapes of her body to the extravagant ruby earrings she was wearing, together with make-up so on point that you could never guess if she prepared for a date or a murder. You were blown away by the fierce and elegant aura she was radiating that took you quite a several seconds and blinks to realize she wasn’t alone. Two boys were standing by her side, left and right.

Again, wearing those leather jackets, one with bleached ashy blond hair and black eyes and another with brown hair and sharp eyes, both of them were quite intimidating, scary.

That didn’t take long, one of them changed completely as he sneezed, his face softening from the straight one he tried to keep, still, he looked a bit lost in thoughts, or maybe a bit under the weather you could say. His eyes seemed feverish. Jaemin laughed at the sneeze, followed by a small “someone had fun” that only you got to hear. On the other side, Haechan was seething from actually realizing one of those two was sick. Jaehyun: You are late. Mei: Next time I should be announced a little bit earlier when you fail of doing the smallest thing while the boss is out, even though I didn’t mind rushing in here, a ride with the motorcycle was something I did miss. And again, late? It seems I am not last, after all, you have some people missing. Especially that devil of a sister you have. Jaehyun face was starting to get a bit darker as the woman was going on with her talk, but soon he regains his composure. Mei: Can’t keep simple tasks in control, can’t keep his sister in listening to him, even this meeting and information I received came from the advisor order, so, our dear and precious underboss, Jaehyunie, enlighten me, whose fault is that right after Taeyong and Doyoung left to take care of the external affairs the first thing happening in this house is a mistake!? The woman shouted while finishing her sentence, she looked mad. Taeil: As an advisor, I feel you should listen when I ask to control both your voice and temper.

Jaehyun seemed unperturbed by the woman’s attack. He was analyzing her, keeping his eyes steady and his words followed in the same manner while each of it left his mouth. At that moment, with his low tone, and slow rhythm of speaking, you could truly see how much he was in control.

He didn’t need to shout, his words were already heavy enough, not only the woman who was supposed to receive the message, but everyone in the room found themselves listening carefully to him, even you found yourself drawn by him, he had the charisma of a leader, he was enjoying al those eyes on him, bathing himself in attention, and becoming a true ringleader in this scene.

Jaehyun: We are here to discuss Mei, and if you lose your cool so easily you are no use for any second advice, if it’s like that, then you can as well go back to your work, … I will pay you for the hours while you were away or shall we make it double, bartender?

A smirk showed up on his face while rolling out of his tongue the last words, meeting her eyes, full of cockiness. Jaehyun: I will handle it myself.

If eyes could trow real daggers, it would have been a real carnage in here. The woman got so dark after that comment, but surprisingly she did calm down. The silence that fell in the room together with the pair of eyes you could swear they could’ve been owned by a true murderer made you feel full terror in your bones. You found yourself holding again Jaemin’s hand a little bit harder this time. The atmosphere was becoming so heavy you could have used a knife to cut through it.

You flinched when she started to move, walking slowly, hearing her heel clicks at such a tensed rhythm like a ticking bomb, that soon will explode, and it did, when the sound stopped, when her steps reached their destination, the woman faced Jaehyun with a killing smile, Taeil truly looked intimidated near her, but not him, Jaehyun faced her eyes with a faultless expression, and expectant eyes, waiting for hell to be unleashed.

Mei: I am amused but not surprised by such comments. since we were little you always wanted to be on top, didn’t matter the games or the rules, hungry for power, our Jaehyun would always become the one in charge when the chance arises, and today is no different than those past years, your father truly took its time to nurture such a desire into you, I will acknowledge that, but sadly he didn’t put the same amount of effort into teaching his children about ethics or value. Our dear underboss, I would be careful in your place, letting yourself be blinded by power will just make things easier for getting your crown snatched. Let the pride aside, after all, you didn’t always win, and I know the best out of all, of your fair share of losses.

She took a small break, to asses her upper hand before continuing her speech.

Mei: Taeyong trusted you for everything to work even without him here, and you failed, how can I not be mad. And more than mad, I am disappointed. The first time you’re given real power and you can’t even keep it in your hands. In your place I would start changing some things, seeing you fail is becoming predictable and … quite boring nowadays.

Jaehyun rose from his chair, reaching the same eye level with her, no actually he was way higher, even if she was wearing heels he was still towering over her, lowering his head, looking down on her.

Jaehyun: In your place, I would be more careful with my words, let’s not forget how dreadful it might be if we would know about all the mistakes in here, after all both me and you know the best who stepped on the wrong path the most often, right, cousin?

The woman shrugged, moving with so much lightness, just like a feather, no guilt could be felt from her stance.

Mei: I am not his mother, if it needs to be punished he will be punished, doesn’t matter of love when for me, blood is and will always be thicker. I came into this family to support Taeyong, this was and is my job since I was welcomed here, nothing more, nothing less. Taeil: Good, then this should be easier, the informants who mislead us, where previously workers under Doyoung.

She paused for a second, you could feel her aura getting again a bit darker, she turned around gracefully this time to face the pretty boy that was close to them, he flinched when he locked eyes with her, he was afraid.

Mei: …Jungwoo The boy flinched again while being called. Mei: I hope you have a good excuse, you kept close attention on this situation for quite a while, and even if they were previously workers under Doyoung, they are still currently in your command, you were the one in charge with the past mission.

Lucas: You know already what Taeil told us too if it’s a mistake like that we have to assume it together … as a family.

That was the first moment Lucas opened his mouth since you were there, also the first time he did face you, finally. He kept his eyes fixed, he didn’t show fear nor anxiety but also he didn’t provoke such feelings in you either.

Was that directed to me?

You got caught by the thoughts before coming back to the conversation.

Jungwoo: No… she is right, even if it’s a mistake, there are still my people who committed, I did know it from the start. I .. I will take responsibility. I am not denying or searching for a scaping goat, I will assume it, but my punishment will be chosen by Taeyong himself, when he comes back until then we need to solve the problem. That’s why I asked for Taeil to bring you all here, to inform you of her presence and also think of solutions. Thank you, Lucas.

The boy thanked with a cheerful smile.

Mei: Good. First, Jungwoo, I am proud to hear this from you but we will talk about this subject later, privately. Secondly, the police might help us the most, after all, currently, she is a missing person, right? Taeil: Not really, no one declared her missing, and we can keep it like that. But we still need to figure out where to place her. Mei: I see, well… one thing is for sure..

for the first time the woman looked at you and for the first time you felt such coldness from her eyes that a shiver ran into you, it felt like you were staring into death itself

Mei: … she won’t be allowed to stay here. Jaehyun: This is not mainly your decision. Mei: True, but after all of you seeing her appearance is not like my choice has no foundation. Jaehyun: Mei… Mei: When I entered this room, I didn't raise my voice because I am angry about the mistake, but more on its effect. I am seeing a ghost of a person that should never put a foot back into this place. Taeil: She Is not Alice… and she has zero connection with her. Mei: I don’t care. I don’t even want to know what would have happened if Taeyong would have been here today. I don’t want her here for when he comes back, find her a place to be sent or I will choose the place myself. I am not allowing demons to come back into his mind again.

A whisper you could hear from your left side.

Haechan: Good luck, knowing her, you might as well end up in a brothel for the better.

Jaemin: Stop scarring her with lies.

And you couldn’t think of your heart to sink deeper, but here we go again, the thought made tears start to show in your eyes, it was just too much, you don’t even know what to believe anymore.

Lucas: We will find her a place away from this house, she previously worked at a café, we have some chain restaurants under our networks, we can send her there. Johnny: Well if she makes good coffee she can work as my assistant, I do need one for all the travels and papers, and she will only stay in my office. Haechan: Or even better, we can use her for our cover. Think about it, a cursed café, one worker kills himself while the other one runs away, coincidence or a true criminal mastermind. I feel it’s a good news headline. Mei: Not bad... Haechan: Right, we get two birds with one stone... Y/N: OH Fuck off! The curse was loud and you could feel all the frustration that was built into that outburst. But you couldn’t take it anymore. You spat on him while you shout out, followed by your heavy breathing. The boy was perplexed by your reaction, he finished his sentence while wiping some of your spits that ended up on his face with a disgusted look, but this time with way less confidence in his statement.

Haechan: one stone. Now now, we understand that you are innocent, but you should understand also that we can just let you out after what you’ve experienced everything, plus seeing our faces. Y/N: I have nothing to deal with this and no reason to deal with this hell. I want out. Everyone was shocked by your boldness, well everyone except one person. That one started laughing like he never had a good laugh for way too much of time, and that one was Jaehyun. You ended up being shocked by his reaction, together with everyone from the room.

Jaehyun: Now, Mei, your turn to enlighten me, is she the ghost you thought you would see?

The man was smiling so cheerfully, it looked so happy, his face got lighted so much, he was enjoying this moment like a kid enjoying his favorite show, but this wasn’t a kid’s show, this was you being tormented.

Mei: She… well, she is different.

Jaehyun: Right. She is more amusing though. Now if you don’t have any suggestions you can all leave, we will need to discuss more private where we can hide her, for now, you know the situation, you are free, but keep an eye on her, she can’t be allowed to escape. And Y/N, trust me, you will leave this building tonight.

A smile was so brilliant and confident that it can shatter any defense. You couldn’t understand anymore, the feelings that came and left while staying in this room for all this time, how only this small moment would take all away, why is he like that, and why your heart feels like it can beat faster, only because of a man you barely meet, a man who took the blindfold from your eyes and welcomed you into this torture. How can you be such a fool and feel any sweetness from this? You felt conflicted by everything.

Pffff

Another laugh woke you up from all the reminiscences. This time not from the man from your story, but a new face.

Feli: I can’t believe it. I truly did miss quite a face. His laughing is a once in a blue moon event. Also making a promise for you leaving. How mighty of you Jaehyun, as expected of my brother. Jungwoo: Calm down, if you laugh like this with your nose clogged you will end up out of air.

The girl sounded so upbeat, that you wouldn’t believe she is sick if you wouldn’t have seen the number of tissues around her. Still, the coffee table was clean and welcoming with many sweets and tea. She coughed a bit while calming down her laugh. She soon took another spoon from her chocolate cake like nothing even happened.

Feli: Now now, having such a piece of information we can open so many new doors. I wonder, how we should put that into play.

After eating that last piece of cake she pointed her spoon towards you and welcomed you with a bright warm smile.

Feli: I should thank you. Today you turned my boring day into something way much better, and this can go on quite easily. So, Y/N, wouldn’t you like some of my help?

Boring, today was anything less than boring. This became a memorable day, you truly believed you’ve died at that time and ended up in hell, and all the devils you’ve met made your belief stronger. But letting your memories play again in the back of your head, and seeing again all those small things that you saw but never understand at the right time, you start thinking that maybe you were the actual devil that they’ve welcomed, hidden behind a lost child, but all if that is in the past, that’s why you are hearing it now. This is a story of the times I might have wished to change them, but they are all stuck, in Yestoday.

#nct #nct fanfic #mafiaau #nct mafia #nct jaehyun #nct jaemin #nct johnny #nct 127 #nct dream #nct haechan #wayv #wayv lucas #mafia romance #nct taeil #nct jungwoo #female reader #nctxyn

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dojae-huh · 6 years ago

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I can’t get over that segment in NCT 127 Japan wherein DY and JH face each other and JH’s ears turned beet red. Yeah I know there’s prob a lot of posts about this in your tumblr now, but I just want to emphasize that part again LOL. I’ve never seen a kpop idol getting so embarrassed and red when asked about what he wants. Istg, I was like watching a rom-com where DY and JH were ganged up by the boys and were forced to confess to eo lol 😂

Dear anon, let’s shake hands. I nominate this segment for the Entertainment award of the year. Don’t we just love to get a laugh at the expense of our conspecifics? Haha.

Firstly, I want to emphasise the fact that Doyoung was red as well. And it’s a first in many years. Here is your solid evidence of them dating.

1) In the past, there were situations, when Doyoung was cornered and got shy and embarrassed.

- Heechul asking Do which Jae’s body part he finds most attractive (lips) and later making fun of Do favouring his donsaeng,

- Do being kissed on cheek by Mark and by Jackson (? was it him? some older idol),

- Asked to dance Limitless’ main move by other members after he was mocked about not being good at dancing.

These situations were indeed embarassing. Still, same Doyoung was collected and professinal enough to stay calm, when Leetuuk groped his butt before older female idols (f(x) I think?) for demonstration. He also teased Yuta and Tae back with BL jokes (you are the only one in my eyes, in the end it’s me). Groped without restrain other members during “guess who it is by touch” blindfold games.

Doyoung 2018-2019 is a person with a lot of MC experience and dealing with the members teasing him. He also asked “is there anything you want?” other members before (Jungwoo, vlive with Mark).

In other words, there is no reason for Doyoung to be red during this “true feelings” reel. He asked a question appropriate to his position of the hyung and NCT’s mom. And with his MC skills and quick mind he should have came up with a funny retort to Jae’s “a car” to support the joke.

2) Doyoung likes NCT shipping game. He is the one to hype Johnny-Taeil, Taeil-WinWin, he posted WW+? poll on NCT twitter, he didn’t mind in Ukraine, when Woo shipped himself with him. But in this case he is the one to be involved and doesn’t play along. (No promises about buying…)

Secondly, let’s remember that JaeDo is not one of NCT “official” ships the members celebrate. “I’m telling you it’s gaaay” and “they are like a married couple” is in the past. 2017-2019 - the members joke no more (sans occasional slip ups like Tae’s “he got married (to a bat=to you)”). Despite it, the whole 127 is on the joke and it’s Mark of all people who is the instigator.

3) Jaehyun can get beet red in different situations. He had flaming ears: a) when asked on a variety programme what is his type, b) made to say “noona, do you like me?” (?? I don’t remember exactly) as one of EnNaNa’s punishment games.

It’s not the red ears, it’s his inability to look at Doyoung from the beginning, even before Do asked his question, that really tells us what was his embarrassment about.

The members were like hyenas, haha.

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sunshinechii-scenarios · 6 years ago

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Vampire Masquerade

AHHHH I’VE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED TO POST SOMETHING. THIS FIC IS KINDA SUGGESTIVE 👀 This brings all my masquerade loving, middle school vampire anime watching fantasy to life, kinda. I absolutely love this and I love this collab so much! READ @justsomekpopstuff PART HERE! WE BOTH WORKED HARD AND i HOPE YOU ENJOY IT UWU. *slides link into dms to an outfit spead I made bc I got too excited*

✿ NCT’s Taeil, Yuta, Mark, Johnny, Winwin and Kun x Female Reader ✿ Vampire AU ✿ Suggestive content ✿ 2.5k words ✿ Collab with @justsomekpopstuff ✿ Written by Chii ✿ Masterlist

"... you’re so tempting... "

You were startled by the cursed action of Yuta opening the dark curtains, letting in the bright orange light of the afternoon.

"It's time to stop working on those papers and eat something.” He moves the heavy book from your cold hands and turns the office chair to face him. You stare into his eyes and roll yours. You let your head fall back and lean on the top of the chair.

“I refused to get up before to deal with anything that was lined up for me today,” you raised your arm and flicked your pointer finger towards him, “and now you want me to stop?”

“Your health matters.” You hear worry and annoyance in his voice.

You slightly raised your head to make eye contact when you spoke, “so does this paperwork, can I have my book back?”

"If you refuse to stop working then yes." Your head shook left and right. He sighed heavily and put the book down on the table, you try to yank the book from under his hands but no avail. Instead, he used one hand to hold the top of the chair to prevent you from spinning away. His body towers over you, the weight of his hand was lifted off the book and now holding your neck. You see his lips part as he leans down. You abruptly stood up and pushed him back.

“Are you kidding me?” You asked as you walked towards him. He walked backwards until his back hit the wall with your palm flat on his chest, holding him there.

“It got you off the seat,” he said as he looked towards the seat that was now behind you. You sighed and looked at him, “fine, I’ll be down after I bathe.”

“I’ll ask Taeil to run the bath,” Yuta said as he gripped your wrist in hope of getting out from under your strength. His eyes glowed, making you feel weak but not weak enough to relieve the pressure you put on him.

“Come on, let me go.” You lift your hand off of him and turn your back on him to fix your work area.

“Tell Taeil I want the lavender salts in the bath, you stress me out,” you said as you put the pens back in their container next to the stack of books.

“You were stressing yourself out,” Yuta said so quietly that by the time you realized what he said, he slipped out of the room before you could throw a pen at him.

As you walked out of your office, Taeil stood outside the door. A dashing smile formed on his face when he saw you bend over after being surprised.

“Did Yuta tell you to do that?” You asked him as you stood up.

“Yeah, he did. By the way your bath is ready. I set everything on the counters,” he said as you two walked the short distance down the manor hall. He watched you walk ahead, the creme colored silk you had on moved with every step. You turned the knob and let the steam out. The bathroom was too spacious for its own good. Every sound bounced off the tiled walls. The last bit of water dripped from the faucet and into the bathtub, it resounded.

“Do you want help taking that off?” Taeil said as he eyed the small buttons lining your back.

“Sure, I can’t reach the buttons anyway.” You took off every piece of jewelry except the brilliant emerald ring on your ring finger and the phoenix ring next to it on the middle finger. Taeil’s voice brought you back to earth.

“What made you think it was a good idea to buy a night dress with a thousand buttons instead of a zipper?” He took your hand to lead you to sit to make the task easier for him.

“It was a cute dress. The silk felt nice and the lace edge is dainty,” you giggled out as you sat on the white ottoman. Taeil undid the buttons down your back. Little by little you felt his hair on the back of your neck until he held the straps of the dress. You felt his breathing and a low, almost unnoticeable growl.

“I can do the rest.” Your voice pierced through his desire, he was dangerously close to your neck. He sighed and stood up. You turned to look up at him as he walked outside the door.

“I’ll wait outside for the dress. It needs to be dry cleaned you know. Silk,” he said before closing the door behind him.

You let yourself submerge in the warm lavender scented water. You massage your neck for a few minutes, trying to get all the tension out of it. You start to put your hair up and out of the way. You began to scrub your body until a small bit of pink tinged the tub. Blood. You scoffed and thought about who could have possibly tried to feed on you while you were unconscious earlier. You took a short ‘nap’ while doing your work, which was a mistake.

"Typical, can't blame him though,” you sighed and continue to scrub until you were finished. You let yourself sink deeper into the tub and stop just when your nose was about to submerge as well. You let yourself observe the ribbons of steam coming from the water.

"You really shouldn't let yourself soak in the tub you know?"

A voice cut your concentration. You look up to see Sicheng with a fluffy towel and robe in his hand. You roll your eyes again and see his start to turn red, his mouth forms a grin and you can see him bare his teeth.

"Not now." You stand up only to let the cold air touch your skin, Sicheng hurries to let the warm robe touch your bare skin. You sit back down on the ottoman and extend your neck so all the hair is properly in the towel, it wasn’t wet but a little damp. Sicheng helps you put your jewelry back on. He smells just the slightest bit of your blood. It’s heavily diluted. He stares at the tub.

"He got you didn't he?" Sicheng lets your hair out of the towel and starts to towel dry the damp parts of it.

"Don't blame him. He doesn't know how to hunt properly,” you said, you felt bad for him. You were in his position once. Blood hungry.

"He hogs you too much!" Sicheng’s voice echoed loudly in the bathroom even with the door open. You were about to argue with him until Johnny coughed to gain your attention.

"I’m sorry," Sicheng quickly says and before he leaves, he places a quick peck behind your head.

You and Johnny didn't exchange a word while he helped you change into something more casual. He buttoned the white blouse, zipped up the tartan dress and added a headband. His hands came around your head to rid of any fly-aways and out of place hairs before looking at you.

“I think you’re ready to face the world,” Johnny twirled a strand of hair around his fingers as he admired your beauty.

“I wasn’t before?” You smiled at him as you fixed the positioning of the rings on your hand.

“Not in that nightgown, it’s Autumn now and it’s cold.” You could pick up that there was a tone of worry but also humor in his voice.

“We don’t feel cold,” you said as you turned to him.

“Touché.”

The two of you walked downstairs to the dining room where Kun had prepared something small. There was a very important event to go to and no one wanted to fill their stomachs to the brim just yet. You say hello to the others. You haven't seen them yet and conversations start between everyone as you sit in silence and picked at your plate.

"Tired?" Kun asked as he set his fork down.

"Yes, it felt as if someone sucked me dry of my blood last night," You peek over to see Mark freeze. You let out a low laugh and get up to pat his shoulder before leaving your plate in the sink. Mark followed you into the kitchen and snuck up behind you.

“Why is everyone surprising me today?” You steady yourself on the counter and look at him.

“I’m sorry.” You remember when he was just a little bit shorter than you and here you were, now looking up at him.

“It’s fine. Do you want to feed a little bit?” You saw how dull his eyes were and knew his heart was big, he didn’t feed off of humans or animals and stuck to human food for a few months before trying to feed on you today.

“Please.”

“Alright,” you walked into the dining hall with Mark, “we’ll be back, knock on my door if you need me.

You two entered your room and you sat at the edge of your bed. Your exposed skin feels comfort in the velvet bed sheets. Mark closed the door and sat down next to you. You talked to him as he unbuttoned the top of your blouse.

"You weren't touching your food," you said to him but he gave no response. You felt his hands shake. You put a hand on his shoulder in attempts to calm him down.

"I do get worried about you, did you hunt at all this past week?" Your voice was soft and gentle, kind and understanding.

"No,” his voice was rough.

The next thing you know was that his body was over yours. He pushed you back on the bed and his teeth were sinking into your body. You ran your hands through his hair until he was ready to unlatch but he never did. It was too much, he was taking too much.

"Mark!" You tried to push him off but his hands and arms seemed to be made of steel at this point. Footsteps followed by calls of his name had pulled him away from you, you don't even remembered who pulled him away.

There was a warmth, it was delicate and you wanted more. You move towards the heavenly feeling until you felt the warmth become more solid, fingers? Opening your eyes, you see Kun seated on the bed and assumed he was the one comforting you. You looked at Kun, thirsty. Your eyes bored holes into his neck and he knew what you wanted. You tried to move but a pain shot through your body and you stiffened.

“Move slower, you'll hurt yourself,” he said as he held onto you, You crawled and straddled his lap. He kept a firm grip on your sides and looked up at your glowing eyes.

"We shouldn't get too comfortable, the gala is at midnight and you only have two hours to get ready and get there," his fingers moved stray hairs from your face. You lean against the soft touch.

"I was out of that long?" You said against his neck. You lick the area before letting your teeth sink into his skin.

"You lost a lot, try not to do the same to me,” he chuckled as he stroked your hair. He grunted as you drank.

“Ah,” you pulled away after a few seconds and spoke haphazardly, getting drunk off the warm, sweet blood Kun had provided you, “he hasn't been hunting."

You feel his hands moving up, comforting you and rubbing your back up and down.

"You need to stop being too generous before you one day die because of it," he said as you slowly let him go. His thumb traced over your bloody lips before leaving a kiss on your forehead and left. You were on the bed now, alone. Leaving you with a few seconds to think about what Kun said.

Finally the silence was cut when Sicheng entered the room with Johnny. The two had their bow tie and tie around their necks undone.

"We should help you get ready, everyone else is still in the process," Sicheng said as he opened your makeup box and started choosing out colors that would suit the dress he chose out for you.

“I trust you can do your own makeup?” Johnny asked.

“Of course, why can’t I?” You did your makeup while Johnny and Sicheng worked on your hair. You held up two lipstick shades and asked them for their opinions. Sicheng chose the darker one, Johnny trusted his judgement since he was the one who chose your dress.

Once your eyes were lined with the blackest and sharpest liner, your lipstick set and Johnny stuck the last pin in your hair, it was time to put on the dress. Sicheng went to bring the dress into your room while Johnny eyed you.

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” Johnny bent down and took your hand in his. Everything leaned to the emerald and emerald welding phoenix rings on your hand. Sicheng hung the dress up and you noted its deep neckline. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Easy access,” he said with a smile before he unzipped its side, prepping it for you to step into. You told the two to wait outside until you were ready for them to help you with the last touches. You stripped down and stepped into the dress. There was a matching green silk slip under the layers of itchy tulle and you thanked Sicheng mentally. You used the vanity mirror to find the zipper and zip yourself up. Calling the boys back in, you eyed the shoes that were lined on the wall. Johnny went to your jewelry box to pick out some pieces. Sicheng traced his finger along the shelf before picking out a pair for you.

“I think you’ll look beautiful in these.” He held the left shoe in his hand as he bent down. He motioned for you to lift your dress so he could put them on you. After he strapped the ankle buckle in, he looked up at you.

“Perfect fit,” he said with a radiant smile. You smiled back down at him as he put the other shoe on and got up. He smoothed out any creases in the tulle caused by you lifting the dress.

“I’m done, I’ll see you both downstairs. We have 20 minutes to get there.” Sicheng reminded us as he left and closed the door, leaving just you and Johnny. You felt Johnny’s fingers around your neck as he clasped a diamond choker. You watched through the mirror as it glimmered with every move you made and sparkled. He let you put on your earrings as he picked lint off his suit. You noticed the tie around his neck, still undone. You step forward, feeling yourself be a little taller than usual.

“Let me help you,” you said as you started to tie his necktie. He watched your black manicured nails move until you were finished and tucked it inside his vest. You two shared a smile until someone knocked on your door.

Taeil stood at the door with a black box in his hands.

“The others have your mask downstairs,” Taeil said. Johnny nodded and walked past Taeil as he walked towards you. Taeil set the box down on the vanity and opened it.

“May I?” His voice was deep and thick but clear. You nodded slightly as he carefully took the mask out and placed it on your face, he tied a knot behind your head. He was careful enough to not ruin the styling and hid the knot under a pin. You opened your eyes and see Taeil next to you in his mask.

“You look wonderful,” you said to him.

“Look who’s talking.” You laugh as you took Taeil’s hand. He led you down the stairs. Each step made a click echo and catch the attention of the others downstairs.

Everyone looked their best, the boys were in three piece suits, regular suits and Yuta didn’t bother to wear a blazer with his button down. You could easily tell who was behind the masks and so could they. You did a quick scan to make sure everyone had on their ring.

Kun caught on and held his hand up, “no one is going to steal us from you.”

“I just wanted to make sure,” you averted their eyes as they saw your soft side.

Kun opened the door for everyone and gave everyone a red rose before they left the manor. The boys all stepped outside while you and Kun were left. You looked at the two holes on his neck.

“I’m sorry,” you said as you ran your finger across the puncture wounds. He grunted in slight pain.

“It’s fine, I enjoyed you on top of me,” he teased you with a smile. You rolled your eyes and stepped past him.

Yuta waited outside the door for you and held your hand steady as you stepped out. Your heels click on the cobblestone road that paved the way to your transportation to the party. You, Kun and Yuta caught up with the others. Mark, Taeil and Johnny on your left. Sicheng and Kun on your right. Each one of you held a red rose in your hands as you stared back at the manor. A magnificent green gem gleaned in the moonlight above the door.

“It’s time to go,” Sicheng put a hand on your shoulder. You nodded and turned your back, just then you heard a faint cry of the phoenix returning back to the manor.

UH, IM A CHILD OF GOD I SWEAR. I’ve been in that risky mood recently for a lot of things. Been doing things I usually don’t do and it opens up my eyes to realize that I shut myself in a lot and dont grab at new things. SO A COLLAB WITH JJ UWU AND SOME SUGGESTIVE CONTENT IS ALWAYS THE BEST WAY TO EXPRESS IT. I kinda like the whole teasing you guys about suggestive stuff bc I CANT WRITE SMUT IM A CHILD OF JESUS MY SUPERSTARRRR - Chii

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huangels · 6 years ago

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nct reaction to your old self-harm scars

request: Hi! I know this is kind of a touchy subject, but I figured it was worth a shot anyways. TW!! Can you do a NCT reaction to finding old self harm scars? Like noting present, but more of a part, hard, time. Just to show more of a reasuring kind of side that no matter what has happened in the past, everything will be okay. Life hasn't been that great, and I would love to read some "encouraging words" from our NCT babes. Again, I understand if you do not want to work this. Thank you anyways!

a/n: i’m choosing to write this to maybe help others out there who need encouragement or reassurance (?) i’ve also tried to make this reaction gender neutral in hopes of helping more people ? i’m sorry if this is a touchy subject but i put a warning for those who do not want to proceed! (i’m so bad at writing like mushy gushy stuff idk what to call it so i hope this isn’t TOO cringy…)

warnings: old self-harm scars !

˗ˏˋ TAEYONG ˎˊ˗

Taeyong runs a light hand over the horizontal bumps on your skin. His eyebrows are stitched together and his eyes are a pool of sorrow. He blinks it away after a moment, holding onto both of your hands now. Instead of the sadness in his eyes from when he first encountered your old scars, the beautiful dark orbs are now filled with overflowing love and affection. It gleams with incoming tears that slightly pool on his waterline. Taeyong pulls you close, it warms you up, putting a bright smile on your face.

"Whatever the reasons for these are, just know that I'm here for you. Battling your insecurities is tough, but you have me and I love you so much that I'll battle them with you."

˗ˏˋ TAEIL ˎˊ˗

Taeil's lower lip juts out into a pouty as he catches a glance at your old scars. His heart churns and races frantically, head exploding from all of the thoughts surrounding his head. Taeil wraps his arms around your body, resting his chin on your shoulders. His hand travels up and down your spine soothingly, as he whispers encouragement softly into your ear, words drowning in love and passion.

"Your scars are now a part of you and that's perfectly okay. But I'm worried if anything like this happens again, please come talk to me first, okay?"

˗ˏˋ JOHNNY ˎˊ˗

A small smile flashes upon Johnny's face. His large hands ghost over your scars, warmth radiating from his fingertips. And when you confessed your dark past, Johnny only comforted you with affectionate words that make you glad you're doing good now. You don't leave his arms for the rest of the day as he sprinkles kisses all over your face when you least expect it, causing you to break out in a fit of light giggles.

"You don't have to hide them, don't worry. I still love you just as much, maybe even more. The past is the past, just focus on making a brighter future."

˗ˏˋ KUN ˎˊ˗

Kun reaches to wipe the stray tear that managed to escape your eye, fingers gentle over your skin. You lean into his warm hand as he rests it under your ear, thumb caressing the apples of your cheek. His other hand makes its way to your waist, pulling you into his embrace. The affectionate words that leave his mouth act as an energy booster, shooting straight to your heart, making it race in endless circles.

"I love you endlessly no matter what. I love your brave heart, your strong mind, your heroic scars. I love you, and these scars are a part of you, which means I love them too."

˗ˏˋ DOYOUNG ˎˊ˗

Doyoung grabs your hand, planting a kiss on the palm. It's warm and soft against your hand. His eyes never leave yours as his arms wrap around your frame, engulfing you in his love. The twinkle in his eyes causing you to melt on the stop, as he stares lovingly at you. Doyoung peppers your head with kisses, not missing one spot.

"Don't hide them. They're reminders of the dark times that you bravely fought your way out of."

˗ˏˋ YUTA ˎˊ˗

Both of Yuta's hands encircle around your smaller ones, it immediately stops them from shaking. He connects his eyes with you as he pours out his thoughts, just as you did earlier about your scars and the stories behind them. His thumb massages the crevasses of your hands, face stretched from the brightest and proudest smile you can ever imagine. His radiant smile alone has the powers to heal your internal wounds.

"You are so strong and empowering for overcoming your differences, but you don't have to worry anymore, I'll protect you now."

˗ˏˋ TEN ˎˊ˗

Ten's thin, long fingers trace swirly patterns over the bumps of your old scars. His light touch is comforting, calming down your rushing heart. The tears that left your eyes have dried as Ten mentions over and over again how beautiful and magnificent you are. You can't help but smile as he envelopes you into his arms.

"It's okay, flaws are beautiful too. You've faced your inner demons and defeated them, those scars are reminders of that."

˗ˏˋ JAEHYUN ˎˊ˗

The tears fight through as they come pouring out of your eyes, you start to hiccup as you've gained enough courage to share your story. Jaehyun's large hands have never left yours since the beginning to the end of the story. They draw circles over the back of your hand, smoothing out any worries. He stays quiet for you to gain your posture before comforting you with supportive words.

"I wish I could have been there for you then, but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. We're in this together!"

˗ˏˋ WINWIN ˎˊ˗

Winwin's arm lap over your shoulders, pulling you in as his chin rests over your head. You lean closer into his embrace and take in the soothing scent of his cologne. He hums softly into your hair, a Chinese ballad song he always sings, and as if a spell, you automatically melt in his arms. Your shoulders release from their tensed-up position and a genuine smile reappears on your face.

"You were determined and you overcame your self-difficulties. I hope you won't ever have a reason to do it again though. I'll make sure of it!"

˗ˏˋ JUNGWOO ˎˊ˗

Jungwoo's head rests on your chest, listening to your heartbeat slow down from its previous racing pace. The more you talk, the more you got comfortable with sharing your past stories, and the more kisses Jungwoo plants onto your skin. Each spot warms up, causing your heart to expand larger. It physically aches with all if the love Jungwoo is giving, but in a good way, as your face stretches into a soft smile that matches Jungwoo's.

"For every scar, you shall receive a kiss in return because to me, they tell stories of a brave fighter who never gave up on themselves."

˗ˏˋ LUCAS ˎˊ˗

Lucas's eyebrows stitch together, his eyes glassy from your stories. He looks more emotional than you do and feel, so you grab his hands and reassure him that you're all better now, that you're living happily with his presence. The worry painted on his face is now replaced with a goofy smile that stretched the more he looks at you.

"How are you feeling now? If you want to talk about it, I'm always by your side. And I won't let anything change that."

˗ˏˋ MARK ˎˊ˗

Mark's eyes warm up as they look into yours, puffy and red. A small smile forms on his lips as he tugs on your arm. You stumble forward into his open arms and they automatically close in on your frame. Mark places butterfly kisses on your forehead, then down your nose to each side of your cheeks and finally your lips.

"Don't hate your scars, love them because they prove that you are stronger than you think."

˗ˏˋ RENJUN ˎˊ˗

Renjun's eyebrows knit together as words of disgust and regret leave your lips, all pertaining to your old scars. His hands dart for yours, holding them close to his chest. His heartbeat is as sporadic as yours, you wonder why until Renjun tells you that the way you talk down about yourself makes his heart hurt. You soften at his words, engulfing him into a long hug as he continues to praise you and your scars with supportive comments.

"They're battle scars and the fact that you're here with me means that you won the war, and I'm proud. I love you and everything about you, including your scars."

˗ˏˋ JENO ˎˊ˗

With you on Jeno's lap, he leans his head to rest it on your shoulders, tuning in to every word that leaves your mouth. His heart churns at the fact that you've felt this way before, heartstrings breaking. But the smile that you share when concluding your story with a happy ending that has involved him, he can't help but share that smile. His eyes disappear into crescents as his cheeks bunch up at the tip of his face.

"You've been through a lot, I can't even imagine it, but it's all in the past. And what's important is that you're here with me."

˗ˏˋ HAECHAN ˎˊ˗

The park is deserted, everyone else presumably at home having dinner. Haechan and you sit on the grass alone by the large lake overlooking the sunset for what seems like hours just talking. You pick at the grass as you continue on with your stories about your dark past, not meeting Haechan's eyes. He calls your name, it echoes into the open air. You turn to capture his appearance, the sun rays kissed upon his rich skin, eyes glistening like the water in front of you, and a soft smile planted on his lips. He speaks after taking in your appearance as you did him, he's breathless.

"Because you're sitting here with me means that you've fought off your inner demons. Even though they may return, you know you can take them on again, I believe in you!"

˗ˏˋ JAEMIN ˎˊ˗

Jaemin's radiant smile never leaves his face as he comforts you, arms wrapped around you defeated figure. Your legs shake uncontrollably, afraid they might give out at any moment, but with the way Jaemin is holding onto you, you know he won't let anything happen to you. Jaemin faces you, eyes gleaming with love, as he sends comforting words that cause you to regain strength in your body.

"It had hurt you and brought you down to your lowest low, but you've survived. Thank you for staying, for fighting."

˗ˏˋ CHENLE ˎˊ˗

Chenle's loud laughter fills the room, as the television displays a comedy show, but your laughs die down. Your thoughts flood around your mind, enclosing you from the world. Chenle notices your sudden change in demeanor and mutes the show to ask you what's wrong. It takes a while before you muster up the courage to share your thoughts and stories. A pout forms on Chenle's lips as he links your arms, making sure you're okay now.

"I'm sad you felt this way, but I hope all the bad thoughts are gone now. Good people go through bad things, but you were wise enough to know when and how to let it go."

˗ˏˋ JISUNG ˎˊ˗

You don't want Jisung to see you like this, broken and weak. You feel too exposed, but Jisung makes effort in calming you down as he wraps his long arms around you. He runs his hands down your hair in a soothing manner, it somehow pacifies your rapid breaths. You are always the one to take care of Jisung, being the big baby he is, but now the role is switched. You're glad that you don't have to act as strong all the time and that Jisung is always there to pick you right back up.

"I hope it doesn't still hurt. But they've faded, everything is going to be okay because you're here to see another day, with me."

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jaeminlore · 7 years ago

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frankenstein!johnny

okay so johnny was created in a lab obv

and he's got this mint green skin, stitches around each joint, and these two bolts sticking out of his neck for overnight charging (like he gets these jumper cables over the bolts and he gets really electric and zappy while he sleeps everyone stays 2596543 feet away from him

he also had this really cool USB port in his belly button right,,, like he can but a cord in it and hook himself up to an outlet for quick charge,,,

the scientist who created him put a lot of effort into him

he programmed him to have the brain of a 23 year old, which would grow as he did

it was a new technology the scientist had created that would help johnny create his own feelings and emotions and wants and needs

basically, because of this, johnny wants to be free

he wants to get out of the lab and see the world. he wants to see everything the world has to offer

he wants to taste things and see things and touch things

he's so excited and curious

like he has this innocence in his eyes that's so bright and friendly

and this spirit no one can tarnish

in the monct universe, humans and monsters coexist together

but there is still a lot of prejudice

like humans can be rlly mean to the monsters and so johnny's scientist (dad..?) is afraid that johnny's light might be diminished

so he agrees that johnny can leave the lab on one condition:

that he would live with a group of monster boys who are already used to living in the human world; a group of friends he can come back to if the world gets too harsh

so johnny moves in w monct,,, and his closest friends are probably invisible man!ten and ghost!jaehyun

except ten sometimes get on his nerves bc every time johnny comes out of his bedroom he'll screams "it's alive!!"

and johnny would smack him but ten is invisible so he can never find him yknow

anyway it's around halloween right and johnny sees these flyers all over the neighborhood announcing this huge halloween party for the college down the road,,, and it's called the monster mash

and johnny is like !!!! this so the perfect way to meet a bunch of new monsters and humans !!!!

it's even called monster mash so he must be allowed!!!

and he doesn't even have to dress up like he already looks like the classic frankenstein w his green skin and stitches and bolts like it's perfect!

so even tho vampire!taeil told him it probably wasn't a good idea, johnny ignored him and gets his clumsy green butt out to the party

it's at this giant frat house,, it's smaller than monct's house tho johnny is used to living in a gothic mansion and this is just a ... two story house

but he's never seen a second story house before!!! so he bounds up the steps ready to go to his first party

and he's really confused when everyone is telling him how nice his costume is and there are all these random are coming up and pulling at his stitches

,,, and it hurts,,,

so johnny kind of pushes everyone who comes near him away until he gets to the kitchen and he's suddenly looking for an outlet for a quick recharge bc nervousness takes up battery right

but someone beats him to it and shoves their phone charger in

and it's you, who came dressed as the bride of frankstein

but you're bored and your phone died after playing dumb ways to die for two hours so you decide to charge your phone and download a racing game lol

and that kitchen outlet is the only one open so you're like "sorry dude but i gotta charge my phone"

and johnny just stares at you and ,,,, are you a disembodied body too??

you like legit don't know what that means so you look down at your white dress and the green paint job that took far too long to do and stained your underwear.... "yes. that's me! i haven't found another frakenstein! how'd you get your bolts to look so realistic??"

he taps his bolts w his industrial fingernail like they are real!!!

and you don't quite get what he's saying bc tbh you've never rlly met a monster before

johnny doesn't know this but monsters and humans tend to not hang out around each other too much

for instance, they don't go to human parties unless specifically invited ,,,, the comradery isn't great in this town

so you're like wow!!! real bolts!!! how did you get them on your neck?? did you glue them??

and johnny furrows his eyebrows like lol why is this other disembody acting like she doesn't know how her own body works??

"what do you mean? they're real ... like they're actually in my neck. they're where I plug in my battery."

and you just stop like oh

it takes him awhile to figure out that you aren't rlly a monster: he checks your costume w his perfect vision and can see that your green makeup is smeared with sweat, mixing in w your actual skin tone, and that your bolts are just tin foil taped to your neck

"i ... i've got to go"

and just like that he leaves.

you feel bad like just because he's a monster doesn't mean the two of you can't get along?? he seemed super sweet and didn't even yell at you for stealing his outlet???

lowkey you want to learn more abt this dude lol

but he's gone without a goodbye, and you have no idea where to find him

GOOD THING FATE INTERVENED

so you head to the auto part store bc your car needs new brake pads,,,,, so you're there to get brake pads obv

and as you're walking down the store, scanning each aisle looking for the one you need to go down

you see this v v tall dude in a hat, sunglasses, and scarf combination

it's the boy from the party, you can tell, so you walk over to him. "do you need any help?"

"yeah, actually, which —" he stops talking when he sees you and suddenly customer!johnny is now flustered!johnny like if his cheeks had been programmed to blush,,,,, he would be blushing

mostly bc he didn't think you could look any cuter than you did at the party,,,,, but you do!!

he takes off his sunglasses and gets super flustered like "h-hi, again."

and your hand is already out for a shake. "my name is y/n."

johnny stares at your hand "okay? what are you doing?"

he sort of lacks the understanding for a lot of basic gestures and stuff

but that's okay bc you just take his hand and give the limp appendage a shake

and suddenly your entire body feels extremely tingly and your hair stands up on end

"sorry!" johnny is retracting his hand and backing up, nearly running into a tire display in the process "taeil told me a wool scarf was a bad idea for my bolts."

you giggle "you're really cute. what's your name?"

"i'm johnny"

"well, johnny, there's this really cool ice cream place down the road. do you wanna go with me?"

johnny furrows his eyebrows for a moment, "is this a date?"

"sure"

"oh, well i've never had ice cream."

"really?"

it turns out johnny hasn't experienced a lot of basic things in life, since he technically just a few months old

... good thing he'll have you to help him!!!

once y'all are dating he doesn't even hold back weird questions he just let's em go

he wonders a lot abt the human body and how it functions

like the first time you cried in front of him it was bc of a sad movie + period combo

and johnny is like i've never seen real live tears before what do i do what do i do

you basically have to calm him down like it's okay johnny,,, it's just my period,,,, now come cuddle me

he oblidges obv but he won't stop asking abt your period like he's curious okay

and his bolts make little buzzing noises from time to time

witch!mark made a charmed cover for them so you wouldn't get shocked every time the two of you hugged or cuddled

"y/n?"

"what?"

"i think i love you."

you understand his words,,, why he only said think,,, bc it's an emotion he's only known in theory so far. and the fact that he confessed something so sweet and honest to you made you sure of your next words

"i think i love you too, johnny."

this is part of a collab w @trickortaeil for monster!nct this october. the next installment will be on her blog, with taeyong! also i highkey based johnny off of frankie from the monster high books. please enjoy!

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nctinfo · 7 years ago

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[TRANS] Bazaar August 2017 Issue ‘Interview with NCT 127′

TAEIL

On <NCT's Night Night>, Taeil was chosen as the member who is most different in front and behind the camera. The members said they wanted to install a camera in the dormitory to let people know about Taeil's real life and they even gave you the nickname "EnJelUt" (t/n: the funniest person in NCT) for your humor. I do not mean to be funny, I do not understand why they would say that? The members gave me the nickname 'matnae' (mat/oldest hyung and maknae/youngest), but I don't know about that. I want to look strong, don't I? (Laughs)

We heard you have a lot of tears. When was the last time you cried? After debuting for one year, I never cried even once. But I cried a little while ago on a flight back to Seoul from New York. I watched a movie called <Collateral Beauty> and I really cried a lot. The last scene was really....

When was the most memorable stage during the Cherry Bomb promotional period? It was the comeback stage on M!Countdown! I liked the pink clothes we wore that day, and weirdly enough, the members looked so handsome that day. Recently all I think of is "Cherry Bomb", "Cherry Bomb". Actually, I had never tasted a cherry before, but during these promotions, I realized, "Ah, this is the taste of a cherry!". It's because the staff always brought cherries to us. (Laughs)

Is there a variety show you'd like to guest on? On <Running Man>! I'm confident of my ability to run and play games well. (How fast can you run 100m) Can I say within 50m? Yes, it's 7 seconds!

We just met today, but you seem like a very optimistic person, you keep smiling. (Laughs) Yes, I think so. For me, life is happiness. I try to be happy with myself. Recently, I'm writing a diary and, can I say, I feel more confident about myself?

Can you tell us about one line you wrote in your diary yesterday? "I ate pork chop" (Hahaha.) Actually, when I was a trainee, I had a lot of thoughts. I worried about my vocal tone a lot. So when I write in the diary I often write about the very small, meaningless things like what I ate that day, how many times I went to the bathroom. Sometimes I only write two lines.

What do you think about your own vocal tone? Actually, I'm not so sure yet. If compared to a color, I think it is blue. I hope when people hear my voice, they will feel comfortable. Coldplay just had a concert here, and I've been into them since then. Recently, I listened to their music a lot. I really like them. I also want to create music that people want to listen to.

Which colors do you usually like? In the past, I would have said black, but these days I like red. Today too, I'm wearing red shoes. But it might change. (Laughs)

JOHNNY

You DJ every night from 11 o'clock to midnight on SBS Power FM <NCT Night Night> right? Because of this, my Korean has improved a bit, our radio is also a hit these days, we get a lot of stories. From these stories, although there are funny stories, there are stories from those who speak from hardships as well. Actually, because of the lack of life experiences, I am not in the position to give people advice, I think empathy is what I can do. When we asked the members, to them, what kind of person is Johnny, they wary replied 'a relaxed person, someone who you want to rely on, an energizing existence'? Actually, the choreography for 'Cherry Bomb' was really hard. With nine people, with only three feeling tired, like a cold, the people next to you soon get tired too. Although it's hard, we don't get tired, and in the process of working hard together, we gain experiences on how to improve our team work. Even during hard times, we don't separate ourselves, we giggled and laughed and got through. It's a completely different direction from thinking "it's so hard I'm going to die" and taking it with laughter. We think, "It's too hard, I have no words, now I can only laugh" and practice. Where's your favorite place in Seoul? Anguk-Dong is also Yuta's favorite neighborhood, he took me there for the first time. The odd mixture of traditional and new city, when friends from America came, we went there often. I like it because of its nice atmosphere and the fact that it had many pretty cafes. The coffee is good too. I must drink more than two cups a day. (What does coffee mean to you?) A time when I can breathe! If I drink coffee on a day when it is busy, I feel like I took a deep breath. I get up starting with an espresso when I open my eyes in the morning. (laugh) What kind of incense do you like? I really like the smell you get when you open your windows in summer. Especially like these days when it's raining, I think it smells really nice in the morning the day after or at night. I take a lot of interest in incenses and colognes, I like a smell that is fresh. In <Lipstick Prince 2> too, when they call you 'Chicago's Prince', you were shy and showed bold makeup skills? Actually, when you see makeup and styling everywhere, it's inevitable that you get curious by the topic of beauty. Since I am curious about what is being applied on me now, I continued to take interest in (beauty). In my eyes, I always find things that are in harmony, beautiful. I heard that you are very interested in DJing. What playlist is well-suited for a Summer night rooftop? These days when it's hot, Kygo would be perfect. It's perfect as the background music of a summer night. Also Calvin Harris!

TAEYONG

We heard that, not long ago, you received "the best ever" twenty-third birthday event. It was a warm/large present by your fanclub 'NCTzen'. Because of performances, I just came back from New York not long ago. I saw the birthday message that was shown on the New York Time Square Nasdaq Screen in real life. Wow, it was a really touching moment. From seeing you on set today, you seem to like the corners. If you look for Taeyong, it seems like you can always find him in the corner listening to music. My heart is comfortable if I do so. I think I am more intimate than I actually look like, on the contrary if I want to show something and act, I think I show 'too much'. (By the way, what music were you listening to?) Let's see. <Syd's 'Shake Em Off' plays> When I see an album cover that I like, I press the click button. So it usually fits my ears. In <Daily Sports>, you took the first place in 'The prettiest male idol from 100 idols'. Did you know about this result? Of course, it's something that I'm very grateful for. However, if you look at the votes, all of our members voted for me, that's how I got first place. (laugh) Because there are many amazing artists, I thought just laugh and it's going to be over. Can you tell us honestly what kind of thoughts do you have when you look into the mirror in the morning? (laugh) Originally, I couldn't look into the mirror properly. I didn't really look into the mirrors since I was young, I didn't really know how I looked. So when my trainee life started, when I practiced dancing, I had to consciously keep on looking into the mirror, it was so awkward to the point where I couldn't look directly, I had to look from the side. Although it's a lot better these days, I don't look often. I look at the mirror the most when I brush my teeth? (laugh) We heard that you usually like to clean up. Do you still clean rooms and do the laundry despite having such a busy schedule? Yes, even then I really do (chores) every day. Even when I'm sick, I still make sure I hand wash clothes. I think I'm affected by our mothers and cleaners. When we were young, I even cleaned my sister's room. When it comes to the idea that housework is the end of the day, I can sleep well with this idea. Can you also draw the picture of 10 years from now? What do I like after work? I like animals so I would like to raise lizards or learn how to make bread? I have thoughts like these. There are a lot of really unexpected things happening when you get this job. Um... I think 'We don't know what people's jobs will become.' In the middle of my thirties after ten years, I will probably still want to dance, rap and make music like I do now. I am good at making something.

YUTA

Within NCT 127, you’re the foreign member who uses Korean naturally the most. You appeared on <Abnormal Summit> right? Compared to when I did <Abnormal Summit>, my skills have dropped. Because then, I had to memorize difficult words but now I don’t have to do that anymore. (Which words do you like the most?) “Aigoo.” I like it when girls say “aigoo.” It’s both really pretty and cute.

It’s been 5 years since you’ve come to Korea, what was the most surprising thing when you first arrived in Seoul? Paying with a credit card? In Osaka, there are many cases where you can only pay with cash, in taxis as well as in shops. I thought there were only credit cards in this world, but there are also cards like check cards and gift cards.

Usually, when someone lives far away from his parents, he will miss them. But you never felt like that. Rather, you don’t want to meet them and you don’t remember your father's phone number. Until now, I still don’t remember it! My father recently installed Kakao Talk. Why, when he first started using Kakao, he messaged me a lot of emoticons without explaining a situation. It’s hard to explain (t/n: we think the reason ‘why he doesn’t miss his parents’) so I won’t give an answer (Laughs)

Currently, you are in charge of various roles, vocals, rap and dance. Which (role) would you like to devote yourself to? If anything, I want people to hear my voice. Usually, I mainly listen to ballads more than hip hop and R&B. Compared to foreign songs, I think Korean singers like 4Men sunbaenim, Kim Yeonwoo sunbaenim, and Kim Bumsoo sunbaenim can make you feel touched.

Because of what points/parts [about you] do you call yourself a “sang namja” (tough man)? Actually, I don’t consider myself as a “sang namja”. The members were the ones who told me that (Laughs). I don’t really care about small things. I’m the type who leaves toothpaste around my mouth after brushing my teeth. When someone points it out, I just wipe it off.

At the same time, you are chosen as the members who often uses internet novel phrases (t/n: can mean that he is quite cheesy) I’m a bit sensitive. I often cry when I watch movies. I cried when I watched <Naruto>. Recently on the plane, I watched the movie <The Pursuit of Happiness> and I cried. Since I was a trainee, this was pointed out. But I like that I have this personality, I want to express my love as much as I can to my fans. (If you had to give a few romantic words?) Hmm…, you are mine! (Laughs)

DOYOUNG

What's the biggest weapon in the title song in this album 'Cherry Bomb'? I think it's the sophisticated and trendy ending. Because of the changes in feeling in every section, it's also attractive to not sound like just one genre.

Although there is a gap in between NCT127's music and your personal tastes, NCT127 would like to concentrate on the music that NCT127 can do. I am thankful for being able to do music that would otherwise not be possible. Taeyong and Mark have the ability to harness the feelings of my voice that is very hard. I thought about whether someday I will find the converging point between the things I like and popular music. I like music that is personal, awesome and minimal. Something like A Capella but not exactly like A Capella, I would like to do music that uses the voice rather than instruments. We heard that when you were young, you often participated in debates. Is there a memorable topic? 'SNS has positive effects on the society'. I needed to argue for the negative effects. When I was in middle school, there were no smartphones and I think those days were better. Now, by looking at portal site news headlines, you know all the information you do not need. Although I did not go through it myself, there were novels in the 1980~90s. Doyoung along with Johnny are like "Your first impressions were like the church's younger brothers, now you are the church's older brothers. At first, you were being led, now you are the lead". When I first meet people, I'm not the type to have a lot of words. Besides when I went into the company, I was unfamiliar and I was a hoobae so I was in a position to accept what it was like. Now we are one team and have the same goals, I speak when I need to. For example, to pass time when we are waiting, I share with the team and tell the manager that we want to go to the shops. So, you were voted as the most nagging member. (Laugh) I really do it for all of us, these days, I really think I can understand mothers’ hearts. I give life-shaking advice. We have to leave soon so “why are you still eating, why are you still wearing your pajamas”, I point out these little things. You've been widely known as 'Mark's Mom'. Although there are many older members apart from Haechan, is there a reason that you only show so much affection towards Mark? The others are similarly cute and nice, (Mark) has a character that's a bit different. To me, Haechan is a younger brother I joke with and I want to play with him, Mark is a younger brother that I want to give Kimchi to when he's eating. Rather than having more affection for another, I express each one different accordingly. Is it your motherly side that asks for a kiss? I'm not trying it anymore (t/n: asking for a kiss). He doesn’t do it anymore. (Laughs) Mark says it's been months. No. It hasn't even been a month. Ah, this sorrow that only the recipient remembers! (Laughs)

JAEHYUN

The title song “Cherry Bomb” is addictive and has a strong hook, and even when [the song] stops, it will make you want to watch the video on YouTube and follow along to the impressive choreography. In your opinion, which part [of the choreography] do you think is the highlight? Amazingly enough, our choreography matches well with our lyrics. Those parts are fun for me too, you know. For example, the “I’m the biggest hit” part is really exciting for me. (Laughs)

Usually, if a slump comes while you’re practicing, I heard that you watch movies. Do you have a list of the best movies that give you comfort? Regardless of the genre, I really do watch a lot of movies. I like <Notebook>, and recently, <Logan> gave me a deep impression. I watched McDonald’s founder’s story <Founder> well too. I also like movies about music like <La La Land> and <Sing Street> too.

What are the hot musicians or albums that you enjoy listening to these days? I listen to a variety of genres, though I like jazz the best. I mainly find and listen to classics like Chet Baker or Billie Holiday. I also like musicians who have their own distinct colors. For example, I listen to Hyukoh. In the future, I want to challenge [listening to] other genres with hip hop or acoustic songs in them.

As much as you are considerably the “Mukbang” part of the team, you like to eat. I also heard you’re super good at cooking. Usually, do you have a menu that you have confidence in making? Jaeyook Fried Rice! (Laughs) I’ve never learned cooking professionally, but since I was young, I was often told that I had good dexterity. [Even when] I cook by myself, I think that, to some degree, there is some feeling in taste. If I just have the recipe, I can make it fairly well.

Among your face, which part do you like the most? My eyebrows! I think my dad’s thick eyebrows and my mom’s natural shape came together and united.

Your skin is smooth like that of a baby’s. Do you have a special secret method to managing it? I meticulously do cleansing [of my face]. Taking off makeup is more important than putting on makeup, you know. (Laughs) Especially the eyes, when I take off [makeup there], I pay more attention and clean them well!

WINWIN

Your solid background from the 6 years of Chinese dancing you learned at China’s Zhongang Dance Academy (T/N: Reporter got his school wrong) is impressive. For NCT 127 stages, you have to show ‘knife-like’ choreography, how do you think the two approaches are different from each other? When I was young, because I learned Chinese dance, I can master/become proficient at our current dances more quickly. In the end, both of them are [types of] dance, but the feeling is totally different, of course. Chinese dance is a bit smooth. It’s like telling a story to the audience. But for the Kpop dances that I dance now, you have to use a lot of strength. (While doing a sudden demonstration) Like this, your strength goes in like “Pak!,” and it’s very cool. (Laughs)

Within the “Cherry Bomb” choreography, which is the point choreography that you like the most? I really like doing the splits at the end. Before we start practice, we most certainly have to stretch our bodies, though this part is one where I can help/teach the member. If you don’t do that, you will get hurt. The way I stretched when I learned dancing helps me a lot.

You said you were going to do the interview in Chinese, but it seems you can adequately express yourself in Korean. What Korean do you, WinWin, use the most often? “Okay” or “I don’t know”. (Laughs) When I first came to Korea, I almost couldn’t understand anything, so whenever someone said something, no matter what I would always say “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know anything.” Even now, I get confused with the pronunciation of “N” and “Ng” (T/N: ㄴ and ㅇ in Korean). [For example,] the words “Reassured, Chubby” are really hard. (Laughs)

Your hometown is Wenzhou, China, but you went alone to Beijing in order to study abroad and learn dance. From your younger days, you’ve continuously been away from your parents. When do you miss them the most? I lived in Wenzhou until I was 12 years old. During middle school, I went to Beijing in order to learn Chinese dance. At first, I cried alone every day because I missed my family. Now, when I miss [them] like that, I often video call with my parents. My older sister looks up, watches, and monitors my activities. She takes care of me and lets me know which parts look good.

WinWin, what food(s) do you like? I like meat the most. Do you know huoguo (hot pot)? I really miss that. A long time ago, I really wanted to eat [it], though Doyoung-ie hyung bought it for me, and we ate it together.

I heard that you have an interest in acting too. Who are, perhaps, the actors/actresses you like? Chinese actors? I like Korean actors a lot too. Haechan recommended me < Taegukgi: The Brotherhood of War>, so we watched it together. In that movie, Jang Donggun sunbaenim is really cool. Later, if I have the opportunity, I must try acting. After 5 years I think I might be both a singer and something else. If it’s not an actor, then a writer!

MARK

Did you take an exam at school today? Did you do well? The subjects were about Korean geography, probability and statistics, I think I worked hard. I have confidence in English but the other subjects are hard. Especially maths and history... (laughs)

It was the hip-hop survival program <High School Rapper> that made the public remember Mark. In that area, I heard the story about Swings saying you have no rhyme but you eventually went to the final contest. Is there any difference as a rapper after appearing? I was more concerned with the rhythm of the word count or what bounce on the track would make the flow come alive and the way I conveyed the message clearly. Actually, it was nice that the appearance itself was a bigger stimulus than the technical growth. When I see my same age friends only knowing rap, I want to love music even more, I want to do deeper music, that's what I thought.

What kind of topic would you like to talk about when you make a mixtape? I want to write about society. When I don't rap, I'm positive but when I write lyrics, it changes sharply. I will write about what I want to be better, a bit critically. Because it's a subjective opinion, people might not be able to identify just as it says. Because it's a mixtape I think that's alright.

You're a rapper but you also have interest in singing and you also diligently practice guitar. It seems like rather than being a good rapper, you want to be a good musician. "I'm NCT 127's rapper Mark." I don't want to be referred as that. I think of rap as one of those tools I can use on stage. Like Justin Bieber, I want my lifestyle to be filled with music. He has a lot of ups and downs in his private life but when you listen to Bieber's music, you can feel his process of getting mature. That was amazing. I think that music is honestly important.

There are a lot people claiming to be a "Mark Otaku". Like when you met Parc Jaejung in SM and Mystic's music collaboration program <Snowball Project>. He said he personally edited your Wikipedia page while giving flowers on the first meeting. I was also really surprised. At first it was awkward but little by little I could feel Parc Jaejung's sincerity. Not only me but he seems to really like NCT. It's my first time doing a collaboration properly like this and making a song together from the beginning. The feeling of being involved together with Henry and Yoon Jongshin on Song Camp was fun. Although it was hard.

These days, the hyungs in the team find fun in saying "Mark's puberty". Why do they say your puberty came so late? I met the hyungs when I was young and I seem to have changed... (Taeyong watching from the side. "Mark's young self is stuck in our head but little by little we're discovering new sides of him. For example, in the past when we said "Mark, give a kiss!" he said "Hyung" and gave a kiss but these days he sometimes only does when he's in a good mood. (Laughs)")

When was the last time you gave a kiss to the hyungs? A couple days ago. When it was Taeyong's birthday... (Laughs)

HAECHAN

In the team, you have the nickname "cutie" and "mischievous kid". But you look very calm today. It's because I'm a bit shy. (Laughs) I like to joke around and do aegyo so I think that's why the Hyungs say that.

You are the maknae in NCT 127, but you have a lot of same-aged friends in NCT DREAM. The atmosphere must be different. If NCT 127 is a group of 9 members with different personalities, you can see NCT DREAM as a gathering of carefree friends. (Laughs) If we talk in regards of humor, the 127 Hyungs are much funnier.

During the promotions, when did you laugh the most? In 'Cherry Bomb', there is this dance move where we slowly spread our legs, so our pants are more likely to rip. During the shooting of the music video, Mark-Hyung suddenly stopped dancing. His pants got ripped so they had to stitch it in the middle (of the shooting) before we could continue. (Laughs)

I heard that this time, for 'Cherry Bomb's sharp choreography, everyone spent an immense amount of time practicing to the point where people shake their heads (t/n: in disbelief or disapproval). Actually, the reason it took us so long was that the choreography was changed a lot. Of course, the choreography was very difficult too. Also, our practice time extended because everyone (in the team) sets high goals/expectations, so we often found parts where we thought we were lacking (so we improved those).

For the first time since debut, you won the first place on the music show with 'Cherry Bomb'. Didn’t you cry? When we saw our faces on the 1st place announcements we were like 'aakk' (t/n: shocked) to the point we wanted to scream. To be honest, I deliberately emptied my mind of expectations, because I didn't want to be disappointed if we would not have won. The trophy we received that day is safely kept at the company. (Laughs)

In interviews, you constantly answer that Michael Jackson is your role model. What's your favorite album of his? It's <Thriller>. If you listen to it on repeat, you will see how much work/effort went in to making that album. I also read the autobiography <Moon Walker> and I realized how wonderful he is.

Your parents, who play music, were a big influence in making your dreams be what it's like right now (being a singer). What kind of music did you listen to when you were young? My mom especially recommended a lot of good songs to me. I still remember the songs of Yoo Jaeha sunbaenim I listened to very clearly.

Since the audition and SMROOKIES, you seemed to have a very special relationship with member Mark. How would you describe your relationship in one word? Tom and Jerry! (Laughs) We fight but we reconcile quickly. We rely on each other and know much about one another.

Translation: Teddy, Sher, Esmee, Selin @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Harper’s Bazaar August Issue

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#NCT #NCT 127 #taeil #johnny #taeyong #yuta #doyoung #jaehyun #winwin #mark #haechan #t:interview #t:trans #Harper's BAZAAR #Harper's BAZAAR: August 2017

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