#also the album itself is soooooo good

[sanstropfremir]

Why don’t Kpop fans ever talk about Kangta’s “Eyes On You” more? I rewatched the video recently and was floored by how simplistic the choreography was, how gorgeous the video was, and how sexy the song was? From the song down to the choreography, it just was really refreshing to see and have and I can’t believe it flopped, but thank god Kangta is long past the point of needing albums to sell millions in order to feed all his dogs 😭

LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY i've been trying to get people onto eyes on you for MONTHS kangta is an og for a REASON!!!!!!!!!!! the mv is fucking gorgeous, the costuming is SO cool, the lighting is spectacular, the choreo is well suited to his age + generation, the song is soooooooooo fucking good (it's a dem jointz track!), what more do you people want!!! i'm so glad he's like the most secure artist at sm so his 85 dogs are always gonna be fed even tho kpoppies will never appreciate him 😭😭😭

[acebytaemin]

no matter what taemin is taemin and don’t you FORGET IT

[sendmyresignation]

if you wanna indulge me, id love to hear your opinions on sing (all of mine are detractory which i know isnt the complete view of the song)

omg id love too!! sorry this took me a sec to formulate post-work haha. i know we don't agree about sing but honestly that's the beauty of music opinions- I feel like it becomes easier to define what I like about things when faced with legit measured criticism anyway

for me, i want to start with the structure and instrumental since it's usually not mentioned (most of the criticisms of sing are exclusively lyrical or intention-focused). it's so cool. and evocative. and full of tension!! my favorite use of synth on danger days, plus the keys and the drums (man i love the dd studio musician drums lmao), really emphasizes sing as a suspended moment both in the album (necessary bridge, tonally, between bulletproof and planetary imo) and in the track itself- its alllll building up to that bridge and final chorus. but there's all these little pieces- the backing vocals, there's so many hidden guitar parts that riff just under all the noise, that opening like, tambourine. sorry for not having a quote on hand but Ray's said he really loved writing sing and it's so totally obvious to me. especially live- part of the reason I was soooooo excited for sing swarm tour edition is that even during dd ray was like absolutely shredding for sing after the bridge. and everytime time it's so good. part of the reason the lyrics don't bother me is sing could stand alone instrumentally and I'd still want to listen to it. (sing also reminds me of Ray's solo music- the sentiment is more significant that the lyrics and the music is itself a vehicle for storytelling)

also though, i think there's a lot of intention with sing (it's up to the listener to determine if that paid off obv) but within the context of dd the record as a pirate radio station, sing has always read as a trojan horse song. making it a single too, like once a song takes on a life of its own outside the record there's new meaning and circumstance. so both within and outside the killjoy universe sing is a vehicle for not just the bridge but the overall sentiment of dd (how fucking excited was gerard when glenn beck took the glee bait) like, yes, i do agree they could've benefited from another pass over the lyrics (i will always defend keeping "sing it till your nuts" bc its sounds like sing it to your nuts though) but I don't personally get the criticism that sing isn't "specific enough" about what exactly it's against or is too optimistic about "sing it for the world"-- i think there are songs on the album (notably planetary right after it!) which do that job just fine. dd is gerard in arguably top lyrical form so theres a lot of meat in the rest of the record like. sing it for the world is a purposely simplistic art is the weapon. like those are the same sentiments rendered very differently!

also like. i do think there was a very directed target at the younger part of their fan base here (girl/boy) which is sweet. to me. like i did hear sing first when i was a young teen (one of the few dd songs i was familiar with) and it did feel huge and empowering at that moment. my chem are their best when they are navigating the dualities of their specific fame, which includes simultaneously making very serious, adult rock music which is concerned with violence death grief and sex, as well as being a role model for younger people and taking them seriously and neither of these are in rhetorical conflict with each other. so like whatever sing is a little juvenile. but it's still filled with passion! taken as a legitimate project with a creative instrumental and a narratively-driven music video. I like that aspect, it works for me. I'll never call it my favorite my chem song but its certainly not the worst when you add in the bridge (i wanted to prove my point without the bridge but like. damn!! it's a good bridge!!!). that's my spiel.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

omg since you’re taking off todya from studying can we hear some of your beatle hottakes?

ughhhhhhh sorry, these are so hard to come up with these days

meta take: I sort of wish we could have a genuine conversation about the blurry line between wishful thinking/headcanon and more objective (or, aspiring to be objective) historical analysis – I get the headcanons, I really do! but just in the past year, there's been several instances of people in good faith asking about sources or questioning "fan favourite" anecdotes and being shouted down for "ruining people's fun". If you want to engage with this stuff in a more lighthearted way, that's fine! but accept that that's what you're doing. Being rude to people trying to get to the truth is not a good look. Your imagination can withstand it, I promise.

more people need to jump on the Day Tripper tinhatting train. shit's crazy up here

the more I listen to Double Fantasy the more I'm offended that a certain brand of John fan basically only names songs from 1970/71 as his best. ditto with Walls and Bridges…

Again And Again And Again: best Denny solo-written Wings song ( it's hard to gauge how much is him and how much is Paul for their collabs. Anyways, No Words my beloved)

Sexy Sadie is kind of perfect… The lyrics, the chords, the distorted doo-wop it all embodies that DISAPPOINTMENT so well. The guitar solo is great, the high-pitched oooooooooohs. No notes, underrated song for sure.

the Mind Games album cover is soooooo deranged but so fucking good. That and Ram might be the best post-Beatles album covers.

this isn't exactly a take but the SADDEST part of Hey Jude is when John harmonizes with Paul. I can't not hear all the unspoken pain.

I kind of hope we get versions of Free As A Bird and Real Love with cleaned up John vocals like Now And Then. I don't want to erase those originals because the audio quality tells a story of its own, but Real Love especially suffers so much from it. I listened to it earlier today and nearly got teary. "No need to be alone" kind of gives me goosebumps. There's something so raw and emotional about all three of these songs…

This is almost the opposite of a hottake, but it kind of Doesn't Matter To Me who Now And Then is about. It could be about Paul, it could pretty easily be about Yoko too, and a few people I've seen say they think it's about May, which could be too! It perhaps not being directed at Paul doesn't take away from the song for me, because the song feels bigger than just its direct inspiration.

On that note, I sort of think that sometimes people could stand to.... Die on fewer hills? Like, the notion that Now And Then could be about Yoko doesn't negate John and Paul's relationship or most things people theorize they may have gotten up to. Now And Then Release Week bonus round, cause it's been long enough to talk about it a bit:

Paul (and Ringo and George! they also have a writing credit, guys!) making editorial choices about John's unfinished song with the blessing of his widow is literally fine. "But John might not have approved–" yes, this is how death works. John also might have found the song embarrassing and not wanted it released at all. It wasn't on Double Fantasy after all! Or maybe he would have specifically wanted to remove the same bit! (which I maintain is musically strange and unfitting at worst and at best a still really rough idea that would probably require a lot of work in of itself – echoing the chord progression in the instrumental bit is the best compromise I could imagine)

I actually really get the George girls who were a bit bummed out by the rollout of the song. He DID get the short end in this situation! but… what would have been better? I saw some people say Paul isn't nearly as good a slide guitarist at George. Okay well then… So Paul should've hired a session musician? How does that makes sense? Paul should've asked Dhani to find some random guitar bit George recorded 25 years ago and frankensteined it onto this song? I'm asking this honestly: what should have been done instead? Because… I sort of got the feeling from some of the criticism that the only acceptable solution was to not release this song at all. And TBH I don't think George "getting the short end" is worse than not allowing Paul and Ringo the closure of completing this song. This wasn't perfect but again: yes, this is how death works.

[hoshigray]

i think i should playlist for nanami bc i am just so good at giving songs to him! also whats ur favorite song from megan(the album)twin, also what jjk man you think fits the vibe of spin the most 👅

- megan anon

No fr tho!!! Like ur so good at the song choices and aligning it to the men and I'm behind it every time !! And hmmmmm for Spin......okay, hear me out.......................gojo—NOW WAIT WAIT LEMME EXPLAIN!!! like, girl, listen to the beat itself, that's purely Gojo or Suguru. Second, that Tina Snow and gur coat bar?? Hello, we been knew Gojo is Tina's biggest fan, moving on 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ like that 2nd verse has some links to Gojo coded, I fear

&&&& when I listen to the song, I'd like to imagine Gojo at like a strip club and is visiting the best and hottest stripper in the venue, and they're just talking that shit to his ear and he's like soooooo into it!!😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 Like, dude is like 10 seconds away from ripping you off that pole and taking you home, like the vision is clear as day, mate.

also also !!! my fav songs from the Megan album are: rattle, worthy, moody girl, paper together and downstairs dj × mamushi, Otaku hot girl, and accent are always on rotation tho, hehe 🥚🥚🐍🐍

[saysike-skedoodles]

RISK, RISK, RISK!

MORE BEX ART BECAUSE WHY NOT??? This drawing was completely out of nowhere cuz I was meant to work on another drawing with Silly and Stacy. That was until Jhariah released their new album "TRUST CEREMONY" and. Holy void, it's BRILLIANT. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. AND JUST. BEST ALBUM OF 2024. GO LISTEN TO IT. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF JHARIAH. LISTEN TO THE ALBUM- I'll shut up. ---

Soooooo, what does this all have to do with Bex? I basically associate Jhariah's music with her :] Especially the songs "FIRE4FUN" and the song that inspired this piece, "RISK, RISK, RISK!" Those are my top favourite songs at the moment and they're both such Bex vibes. I think it's the really chaotic and energetic vibes they have it's just Bex in music form almost. I'm REALLY really happy with this art, especially the posing! I also referenced the cover used for the single for the background. It got me using my least favourite colour to work with- yes- it's orange. I don't hate the colour itself (I have a good few OCs that have orange in their palette), I just find it to be a difficult colour to go with other colours in a nice way. OH YEAH- you may notice Bex's makeup was done a bit different, that's cuz I plan to make that a sort of "alternative look" for her! She would also be wearing sunglasses alongside it too! So get used to seeing this look, cuz I'm not joking, I have ANOTHER TMM trio drawing in mind that does featured Bex with this look :]

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Deviantart

Tumblr

Art Tumblr

Youtube

TMM Official Tumblr

Newgrounds

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[all content I post is automatically 13+ if not stated in the title or the content itself]

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Here's a big reason why I sympathize with Martin Scorsese over all the endless flack he gets for a few concerns he had about superhero/tentpole movies and their effects on the overall cinema landscape...

About three years ago, in the midst of pre-vaccine COVID times, I was deep into my Beach Boys hyperfixation. At the time, I maintained a wordpress blog called "Kyle Loves Animation and More". On it, I decided to do a personal deep dive into Beach Boys album released in the early 1970s called SUNFLOWER and SURF'S UP.

I related a lot of my own neurodivergent experiences to the way Brian Wilson, a neurodivergent himself (and possibly autistic, like me), wrote songs in his idiosyncratic ways. It was a pretty long article, and I felt I put a lot into it. I tried to understand the thought process behind the songs, relating some historical context, and my own personal views on the music.

I was once part of a Facebook group dedicated to all things Beach Boys, and I decided to post the article there. It got some pretty decent marks from the community there, but there was this one man... Who presumably grew up in the '60s/'70s when their music was new, unlike me, a 1992 baby who was introduced to the Beach Boys' music via their parents... This one man found this ONE sentence in the article...

Where I remarked that the album 20/20 was "fascinatingly uneven"... I didn't even mean "uneven" in a bad way, but as a matter of fact... And he got soooooo upset... And made one comment about that... How dare I use the word "uneven" to describe the genre buffet/half made-up-of-leftovers album 20/20!

So I tried to explain, calmly, what I meant by that... And he didn't respond to me. He said to another commenter "who cares about the history of the album? the music is good!" To another commenter. Not to me directly... Passive-aggressive, much?

And also, as an artist MYSELF, I do very much CARE about the history of any given piece of art... What circumstances lead to the creation of this thing? What drove the artist? Yes, I care about the history, too! It's a fixation of mine!

...

Anyways, Scorsese. Marvel movies.

I totally get it.

Here, Scorsese is trying to make new films, new statements through the cinematic art form, openly worrying about his age and whether he has enough years left to tell more stories... He's openly reflecting about life itself, how he feels... He has an entire legacy of films behind him that far outweighs the entirety of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (and I'm saying this as someone who likes the MCU and has seen at least 85% of the movies in THEATERS), one film of his alone arguably does that...

And yet all some people care about is whether he regards THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER as a work of art or not...

And ironically, a director like Francis Ford Coppola has said even more scathing things about Marvel movies... But he doesn't get an *ounce* of the flack Scorsese continues to get... And this was WELL AFTER Scorsese took the time to explain what he meant...

So yeah, I find that all so frustrating. If I were Scorsese having to read all of that (he probably doesn't, good for him), I'd be so goddamn frustrated lol.

(As an aside, on my other tumblr, I did a little article analyzing the current trajectory of superhero movies and how they are evolving, or need to evolve, in a post-ENDGAME world... I put a ton of paragraphs and research into it... And I got this one comment that was like "hush"... From an MCU stan... See what I mean?)

[arsenicflame]

hi i'm really interested in space lesbians! where are they, who are they? how can i see them? (shows, games, books?) also what are you most excited about in s2 of ofmd?

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY

soooooo my space lesbian enthusiasm refers to 3 separate medias!! (it used to say gay space vikings bc that was an even more specific niche buuuut im way more into tihylttw these days s o) one day i am going to make a fuckin venn diagram of my girls because they all have so many similarities. (loki/sigyn and angela/sera are basically the same characters change my mind.)

this is about to get real long bc im unhinged about them <3 10/10 would talk about them all day if the communities were there

our first space lesbians are loki + sigyn from the bifrost incident! TBI is an album by the band the mechanisms which you can find wherever you listen to music (youtube here) its a norse mythology inspired rock/steampunk-esque album and it is SO GOOD- it takes place on a train in SPACE in the format of an incident investigation. its a story so you have to listen to the tracks in order :)

--

next up! this is how you lose the time war- our lesbians in this are called red + blue because we have deconstructed this trope to its most basic format at this point :') its a short book, and you may be familiar with it as it went viral from a trigun fan tweet a few months back. (my url (and sewing blog url) are actually references to a quote from this book!) you can get it wherever you get books and id recc the audiobook if youre into that i am also in possession of the pdf if you wantto try before you buy.

tihylttw is a story told through the exchange of letters between two agents on opposite sides of a war- it usually gets described as enemies to lovers but id personally use rivals as i think it describes them better. the book is known for being incredibly poetic and sometimes pretentious in its writing and i just think its the most beautiful thing ever. lesbians do it better

honestly theres nothing i could say for tihylttw better than it could say for itself, i just adore the universe theyve built and i want to KNOW MORE. i love you and i love you and i want to find out what that means together

--

saving the best for last is my girls angela + sera. the most of all time. nobody compares to them for me. they consume me

angela + sera are from marvel comics and you can find my complete reading list here, but if im talking about them positively, im usually talking about one of the titular Angela comics, and more often than not queen of hel.

honestly i love the angela comics so much that im making myself speechless trying to figure out where to start. Angela falls into the asgard side of marvel comics, though she is a lot more fluid in her affiliations, her whole thing being that she deals in deals- nothing for nothing everything has its price. she is at times described as emotionless and is generally quite a stoic character, especially around strangers. the major exception to this is her wife, sera. seras one of marvels few canon trans characters and i think she is just so wonderfully written. shes witty and cheeky and doesnt take shit from anyone, even when it gets her into trouble- and oh boy does sera find herself in some predicaments! the angela comics are often just as poetic as tihylttw for me, theyll drop an 'as long as you are with me, i am not afraid' and ill need to go smother myself in a pillow for a sec. in QOH they adopt a daughter who is Also a lesbian, shes an alternate version of leah of hel and i ALSO adore her.

im desperately trying to avoid plot points but god. the main arc is 21 issues of smooching Shakespearean space angels what more could you want?

(through sera & angela we get a lot of heven lore and honestly that could be its whole own thing for me im SO fascinated.)

my girls are currently in comic hell, i am praying they will get something good soon 🙏🙏

--

and what am i most excited about for season 2? can i just say izzy? can i just say anne + mary? dude im so ready for some lesbians you have no idea actually you probably have a very good idea if you made it this far down. im incredibly excited to be seeing izzy get a favourable arc this season, im really hoping to see him develop relationships with everyone else, see him grapple with feelings around ed (actually im really hoping he chooses not to forgive ed. for growth) im excited to see whats gonna go down with his leg, im excited to see wtf is going on w ed + stede because i have no idea what the continuity is at the moment, im just excited!!!!!! i honestly dont think theres anything im not excited about everything looks so good so far

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

No, I'm not done shouting into the void about a '70s rock band.

It still KILLS ME, when I listen to the studio versions of Fanny's songs that I've also watched/listened to from live concerts on Youtube, to think that Fanny would have had such a rawer, hard rock sound on their studio albums HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR SEXIST MOTHERFUCKING PRODUCERS (and mixers/engineers/whoever the hell 'edits' what the band do straightforwardly in the studio).

Because when I listen to the studio version of "Blind Alley" - one of Fanny's most hard rock songs in their discography - and then remember how it sounds from Beat-Club, ONE version sounds like it could be nothing more than a demo (a very good one, mind you, but a demo, nonetheless) and THE OTHER has ENERGY FOR FUCKING DAYS that sounds like the band could go on and on with it...respectively. Does that make sense?!

Listening to other songs that I've heard live, especially off of Mothers Pride, I also have to shake my head at how stupidly fucking soft and overly polished they sound - like the producer (TODD RUNDGREN. HIS NAME IS TODD RUNDGREN AND I HAVE BEEF WITH HIM, ESPECIALLY OVER THIS) went 'Aw, girls playing music! They should sound soft and demure, and their vocals should sound pretty,' but then you hear them, and especially Mothers Pride songs live, and you're like, 'Excuse me, yes, hi, THIS IS THE SAME BAND? BUT THEY SOUND SO DIFFERENT (SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER).' And it's obviously not just because they're live versions of the songs without a shitload of layered horns, not to mention - it's because, live, Fanny were finally allowed to ACTUALLY, ACCURATELY SOUND LIKE FANNY.

Anyway, me @ me: when am I going to finish writing that essay about how sexist producers (but also engineers and mixers) have historically ruined women's studio work in rock music in particular? If people want to know "Why aren't there that many women in rock music?", that's one reason. Although of course that is actually a deeply ignorant question in itself; there have been hundreds of women in rock since rock and roll started in the '40s and '50s, and at least two hundred rock bands worldwide of all women, but history barely made the effort to record or remember them, let alone to maybe promote them as anything more than a gimmick (which they still do!!!!! BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

[nar-nia]

hi!

wow.

omg, its been so long since i spoke to you but a lot of happened in my life kinda (as well as yours from what i saw)

first of all, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing uni!!!!!!! im proud and happy for u!!! u worked hard and it paid off!! and wow, bakery?? that sounds so amazing!!!! like straight up bakery/coffee shops au!!! must be super fun and probably always smells rly good there!! i hope ure having tons of fun!!! and that ure eating lots of cake duh

for me, idk if u remember but i passed that oral exam!!! i did it in the beginning of september!! and i felt relieved and euphoric about it! and now the new semester (so my second year ) starts soon and…… i feel so anxious about going back, talking to people, all the stress and constant anxiety, and the fact that im still questioning whether this was the right thing to study and the lingering feeling that all my friends have it figured  out already with the life and im kinda stuck. like when its right u know? but idk ??

but on a more positive note? my summer was rly great overall so i hope urs was too!!!! im no longer a teenager tho 20 hits hard - especially after olivia rodrigos new album lmaoo

hee has purple hair now and he looks soooooo good!! ALSO  i read jakes and jays fics u posted and they were so nice, omg like???  :((( like made me realize how much i missed ur blog and u!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you, wishing u all the best always!!!!!!!!!!

                            -beloved anon wow it feels good to write it again!! <333

OMG HELLOOOO 🥺🥺🥺 it's been so long, i missed you so much. how are youu <333

please i'm so happy about finally finishing uni, it felt so long and annoying in the end. but now i already kinda miss it 😭

working in the bakery is.. interesting. it's definitely what i want to do in life, the other day i spent the whole workday just making cakes without anyone bothering me and i loved it so so much, but it's also hard and really stressful (which is why i am replying so late and i'm really sorry, first i got sick and then i got hit with a workload again 🥲). i have to do work that's supposed to be for like 4 other people and it's something 😶 let's manifest that they will find more workers soon because this is way too stressful for me (and my coworkers, i haven't seen them smiling in the past two weeks anymore, it's a bit scary). but enough complaining 🫡 the work itself is fun and the food is so good 🫠🫠 apart from onion cake/pie, i have to do it all myself and i swear i haven't stopped smelling like onions those past few weeks 💀

okay but now to you! CONGRATULATIONS ON PASSING YOUR EXAM 🥳🥳🥳 you did so well and i hope you're really proud of yourself 🥺🩷 and best of luck for your second year, i'm sure you will do as amazing as before 🩷

i'm sorry that you feel so nervous about it though. i have to be back in school to become a baker too now and i was so nervous on my first day, i got sick like right after 💀 and my class really is something (not necessarily positive but there are really nice people too). buuut i hope that your classmates are the nicest people you have ever met and that you will have lots of fun this year, you deserve it. and of course lots of amazing grades in your exams 🩷 i think if this bakery thing has thought me one thing is that it's okay to not know what you want yet. i think i have found my place now (although not necessarily in this bakery) but it took me a while to figure it out too. and in our bakery we have two people who tried lots of different stuff too before they settled on training there. so please try not to worry too much for now, i'm sure it will all work out well for you 🥺🩷

but i'm so glad your summer was nice <33 mine was full of job applications and moving but i still enjoyed it a lot (oh i miss the time where i could stay up all night and sleep in and not start work at 4am 💀) and happy belated birthday, omg <33 welcome to your twenties, it's a wild ride 😍

i missed you so so much too, i'm glad you liked my stories but even happier you had time to check in 🩷 but yes, hee 🫠🫠 wow. i love him (although he's not the only one anymore, can you believe?? jay has been bias wrecking me so hard i am so close to making him my second bias. that guy has me BLUSHING)

i hope you are doing well despite it all and will continue to do well 🩷 you deserve the best and you should get it. i love youuu 🩷🩷🩷

[roci-wolf]

oh also!!!! have you heard the new skz album?? ITS SOOOOOO GOOD!!!! like they DID THAT!!!

YESS i have, i was actually listening to it while answering the previous ask osjdjekd

and i've been listening to it on repet constantly. i saw someone saying on here that the album reminds them of you because of the space concept and all and yes, i emphasise that idea 😭 like it's exactly your type of stuff. i was looking at their promotion image and the tracklist image when they came out and i thought that those must have made you very excited wuth the constellation theme and all haha

i gotta say, in regards to s-class, i had to give it a few listens before it finally caught me because it felt so... overwhelming at first?? like there was a LOT of stuff going on in there, both in the song itself and in the music video. but i started to like it eventually, it was just a whole experience and i was surprised to find smth new everytime i was rewarching the mv 🤣 also, gotta love the intense marvel vibes

and i think my fave b side is hall of fame, istg out of all of their albums, i think this songs fits the best as an opening song. don't get me wrong, i love all the other first songs in the other albums (the tortoise and the hare has me in a chokehold), but hall of fame fits its position THE BEST, it's like a grand opening.

OHOH and topline with uncle tiger jk?? damn, ICONIC, my brain goes like "intoxicated razzle dazzle" every few minutes 😭😭

and fnf and youtiful are soso beautiful, youtiful especially makes me tear up everytime i listen to it... like, i know we as a fandom say this often, but i really cannot stress it enough how moved i am by Chan's love for us. and not only him, but all of skz, they love their fandom and they actually listen to out voices and gift us with these beautiful masterpieces to show us that we are heard and seen and.. man, i love my little skz 🥹 they're so precious to me with everything that they do not only as artists, but as human beings. i am very glad to be a part of stays and to be able to witness their artistic path and growth over the years

buuut what's your faveourite track/s off of the album??

[hollyxqx]

playing with fire  //  yoongi  //  04

↪ PARING: Min Yoongi x Reader ↪ GENRE: angst » smut » idol!au » enemies to lovers ↪ SUMMARY: Yoongi hates you. Or at least he thinks he does. (AKA the one where you work for BigHit and Yoongi is bad at feelings). ↪ WORD COUNT: 6.7k ↪ WARNINGS: heavy angst | sex | secret relationships | jealousy | mild possessive behaviour

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE

Over the next few months Yoongi and you began to text back and forth. He couldn't help but feel a little thrill every time his phone pinged and your name popped up on the notification. You were just as busy - if not busier - than he was, so often the replies could be sporadic and at odd times in the day but he appreciated each one.

Yoongi had found out from Namjoon that your birthday was approaching and he had an idea. He was actually going to show you a genuine sign of affection. It made him feel anxious and weird but with Namjoon's encouragement he was going to commit and do it.

"Do you know where she's staying?" Namjoon asked discreetly as the two boys made themselves comfortable in their plane seats. They were flying to America and had 14 hours to kill.

"Yeah." Yoongi nodded, unravelling his headphone wire. Namjoon was fishing through his backpack, no doubt looking for a book. "She's in the States too. Chicago."

"It makes it sound like she's close but America is massive."

"I know." He muttered. "I don't even remember when she was last in Korea."

"So what's your plan for the birthday then?" Namjoon asked, pulling out not one but three books. Yoongi fought the urge to roll his eyes at the overkill. Classic Joon.

"Tell me if this is lame, and don't lie," Yoongi began, feeling a little shy at the prospect of what he was about to say. "I'm going to send flowers and champagne to her hotel room. I also got her a gift."

"What's the gift?" Namjoon asked, eyebrows arching in surprise. Yoongi shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"It's a limited edition signed copy of an album she loves. It's vinyl that's out of print." He said quickly, hoping it would make his confession seem less pathetic is he said them faster. "We also saw them live...together."

"Awwww, hyung!" Namjoon exclaimed, punching Yoongi affectionately in the arm. "Who knew you could be so cute?!"

"Shut up." Yoongi grumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Cutie. Cutie pie Yoongi."

"I won't hesitate to murder you on this plane Joonie." Yoongi warned. Namjoon just grinned wider. He slipped an arm around Yoongi's shoulder and squeezed, practically squealing with glee.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day of Min Yoongi being an adorable sweetheart, all for a girl." Namjoon said as he dodged Yoongi's incoming smack to chest. "It's nice hyung. I think she'll really like it."

"I hope so."

They settled in for the international flight, Yoongi with his music on and Namjoon with his face buried in a book. Somewhere a few rows behind them he could already hear Taehyung snoring and Jimin complaining. It was going to be a long journey.

***

Yoongi watched the rookie boy group you managed on YouTube on the ride to the hotel, ignoring the rest of his bandmates. They were bundled into a minivan rather quickly after landing to avoid the crowds at the airport. He'd just spent 14 hours with his group, he could do with some quiet time alone. Taehyung had alcohol on the plane and was too giddy for his liking, talking too fast and giggling.

The group were called TXT. They looked young, but Yoongi was never great at guessing someone's age. He was watching a backstage vlog that one of the boys filmed. He would never admit it but he was looking for you in the background. It didn't take long for him to spot you, laughing and joking with the main rapper. An ugly feeling roared in him. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

You wore the same leather jacket he's seen you in a thousand times, the one adorned with cute metal pins. Your hair was longer and lighter than he remembered. You looked like you. The same, but slightly different.

He watched the video in its entirety, keeping a careful eye out for you in the background, occasionally catching a glimpse. It made him feel slightly voyeuristic, but it was the only way he could see you. Your instagram that he sometimes lurked had been made private (much to his dismay) and he wanted to know what your were up to.

"What's that?" Jin asked, nudging Yoongi with his elbow, gesturing to the phone screen.

"Nothing," Yoongi replied quickly, locking the screen so it went black. Jin eyed him suspiciously.

"That looked like TXT."

"How do you know that?!" Yoongi asked, incredulously.

"I recognised Soobin. I've spoken to him a couple times before they debuted." Jin explained.

"Oh."

"Nice kid. Didn't think he was your type though." Jin teased, a hint of amusement in his voice since Yoongi was obviously straight. "Unless...you're keeping tabs on y/n."

He felt his face flush with embarrassment getting caught in the act of snooping. It was intended to be a private thing he'd never admit to. "I was just checking out our competition hyung. These kids are the next generation." It wasn't the most convincing lie he's ever told but it was all he could come up with on the spot. Jin bit back a smirk.

"If you say so."

***

The sound of a ringing cellphone stirred Yoongi out of the sleep he'd accidentally fallen in to. After being in America for several days the jet lag was taking its toll and what was supposed to be a short rest on the sofa backstage turned in to a full on nap. Bleary eyed and still half asleep he fished through his pocket to find the device. When your name popped up on the screen he was instantly wide awake.

"Hello?" He answered, somewhat cautiously.

"Min Yoongi you are terrible."

Perhaps it was the fact that he'd just woken up but he was instantly confused. "Huh? What?"

"My gift!" You exclaimed and it suddenly clicked in his mind that yesterday was your birthday and you received the present he sent. For a horrible moment his heart sank, thinking you didn't like it. "I can't believe you did that."

"Did what?" He played dumb.

"Got me one of the most thoughtful birthday presents ever." He swore you were smiling as you spoke. "I was so shocked when the delivery guy knocked on my hotel door."

"I wanted to surprise you." He laughed a little. "It's not a surprise if you know it's happening."

"Well, you certainly did. I'm still in shock." You joked. "I just called to say thank you. It's perfect."

"You're welcome."

"I'm saving the champagne though."

"Why?" He asked. He had wanted you to enjoy it.

"For when we see each other next. We can share it." You explained. Yoongi bit back the huge smile that was tugging at his lips. "You know, we will be at the LA KCON at the same time right?"

He didn't actually know that. Yoongi wasn't the most organised person in the world, relying on the team around him to tell him where to be and when. He was aware KCON was approaching but that was it.

"This is news to me." He said and you laughed, knowing from experience just how he was with his schedule. "We probably won't have time to see each other though."

"Let's make time then." You sounded so confident and assured it took him aback. A part of him didn't expect you to want to see him, that you were comfortable with being just acquaintances and nothing more. It made him happy that you were insistent.

"There's the eager y/n I know." At the mention of your name Namjoon's head whipped round and his eyes locked with Yoongi's, a keen look on his face. No doubt Yoongi would get a million questions once the phone call ended. He looked away, trying to ignore the eyes on him.

"So wanting to see my friend is eager?" You played along. Although he couldn't deny the friend comment stung a bit. He fought the urge to make a dirty innuendo knowing Namjoon was within earshot.

"It is when you have more important things to do."

"Shut up. I know you want to see me too."

"I'm just coming for the champagne." He teased. He imagined the eye roll you were no doubt giving him right now. "Did you have a nice birthday?"

"Well," You sighed. "I worked twelve hours and had one of my boys injure himself then spent three hours in an emergency room."

"That sounds like a nightmare."

"It was. Your gift made my day worth it though."

Yoongi felt his chest swell with pride. That was exactly the reaction he had hoped for and he was glad he took the risk in the first place. The two of you chatted for a little longer before you had to go, duty calling you. When you hung up the phone he caught himself smiling a little too much and it was only when Namjoon laughed and threw a packet of snacks at him did he snap out of his daze.

"You look lovesick." Namjoon grinned, ducking when Yoongi threw the snacks back. "It's soooooo cute!"

"I'm not!"

Jimin walked over and flopped down on the sofa next to him, leaning his head on the older male's shoulder. "Were you talking to y/n?" He asked, yawning sleepily. Yoongi wasn't the only one suffering with the time difference.

"Uh, yeah." He replied, shifting so he was comfortable as well.

"Yoongi hyung is in love." Namjoon announced making Jimin snicker.

"I know, I saw him smiling from over there." Jimin replied. "It's the most I've ever seen you smile, hyung."

"So now I can't smile without everyone getting on my case?" Yoongi muttered with a frown but his bandmates just laughed. They continued to tease him throughout the day but he took it on the chin. It didn't matter, because he'd get to see you soon and that in itself was worth the mocking. Just.

***

Two weeks passed in a flash, and before he knew it Yoongi was checking into an L.A hotel room the night before KCON. Fortunately he was sharing with Namjoon which guaranteed a good nights rest. Together they dumped their stuff in the room and settled in for the night.

"Yoongi-hyung," Namjoon yawned, stretching on the opposite twin bed. "Shall we order room service?" He fumbled with the hotel menu.

Yoongi mumbled something in agreement as he checked his phone for the umpteenth time, to see if you had texted. You hadn't. He tossed his phone to the side, mentally cursing himself for being so affected by the lack of attention.

"Oh, Jin-hyung is joining us." Namjoon said, momentarily distracting Yoongi from his thoughts. "He met up with the TXT guys and he's on his way back, said he'd stop by."

Yoongi felt his stomach flip. "TXT?"

"Yeah they're staying at this hotel also." That meant you were staying at this hotel too. Combined with the fact that you hadn't got in contact only made him feel worse. His insides churned.

Jin joined them some time later after their food had arrived. He sat on Namjoon's bed as Yoongi and Namjoon tucked in to their food, face buried in his phone. "Those rookie kids are a mess." He told no one in particular. "They're so nervous for their interview tomorrow."

"Really?" Namjoon laughed, sipping some water. "Is it because they don't speak english?"

"Yeah." Jin replied. "I told them they'd be fine, Yoongi sucks at English and he manages."

"Your English is terrible too." Yoongi protested with a glare, both Jin and Namjoon laughed.

"I ran into y/n, too." Jin said, startling Yoongi a little. "She says hello."

That's it? That's the entire message? Yoongi frowned. He had expected something a little more, at least. Pushing the thought from his mind he attempted to distract himself with his meal. Once he was finished and still thoroughly focused on the sting of mild rejection he excused himself from Jin and Namjoon with the excuse of needing some fresh air. He decided a late night walk might clear his head.

Sejin would not be best pleased that Yoongi was walking around late at night, unaccompanied. What the manager didn't know couldn't hurt him, Yoongi thought as he made his way down to the swimming pool area. It was void of any other hotel guests given the lateness of the hour. It was peaceful.

The pool had lights underneath the water, giving it a relaxing glow. Combined with a cool breeze in the warm night air it was enjoyable. Yoongi sat on the edge of one of the sun loungers, leaning on his knees. It felt almost surreal to be literally in the same building as you but unable to see you.

He was unsure how much time had passed as he sat there, overthinking. "Namjoon told me you went for a walk, I figured you'd be here."

Yoongi looked up to see you standing there, a sweet smile on your face. It had been so long since he'd seen you in the flesh for a moment he thought he was dreaming. "How'd you know?" He smirked.

"I know you." You said simply. "You wouldn't go too far because you wouldn't want to piss off Sejin, you like quiet places so the hotel is a no and you like looking at the sky. So, hence the pool."

"Am I that predictable?"

"I wish you were." You teased. "Still, it's nice to see you."

"You too." He replied quietly. "Sit with me."

You did as he asked, mimicking his position on the sun lounger opposite. He swivelled round so he was facing you rather than the pool. Your knees brushed up against each other as he moved. "How are you? It's been a while..."

"Same old Yoongi, you know me." He couldn't help but study your entire face as he talked, like it was the first time seeing you again. "What about you, Miss Manager?"

"I'm so busy I think I've aged 5 years in the last 5 months." You sighed. "Right now is the first moment of the day I've had to myself." The thought that you came looking for him the second you could made up for the lack of communication from you earlier.

"Thanks for stalking me when you could, I guess." He taunted. You rolled your eyes but with a smile on your face, nudging him playfully with your knee. He noticed you shivered slightly. You were only in a shirt. "Are you cold?"

"I'm fine." You insisted. As if on cue you shivered again. Yoongi didn't need to think twice, he was slipping out of his oversized bomber jacket and leaning across the gap between you, slipping it around your shoulders. "No, Yoongi. Now you'll be cold." You tried to shrug the jacket off but he held it shut at the front of your chest.

"Don't worry about me." He held your gaze for a moment, enjoying just being in close proximity to you. He could smell your perfume this close. It was familiar, images of you underneath him in various locations flashed through his mind.  

"Thank you." You almost whispered. Yoongi didn't let go of the jacket.

"Y/N?" He wasn't sure what he was asking. You looked from his eyes to his lips and then back again. He knew you were thinking exactly what he was. It was as if you were both magnets, being pulled in towards each other when your lips met. Delicate at first, tentative, almost nervous. Like a first kiss. His hand slipped from your front to slide up the side of your neck, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

Unwillingly he pulled away, some rational part of his brain kicking into gear telling him how reckless it was to kiss you in a public space, even if it was deserted. It was always possible someone might be watching.

"Wow," You said breathlessly and he smirked. "It's been...a while since we've done that."

The two of you shared a small, slightly embarrassed laugh.

"I couldn't help it. Sorry."

"I liked it."

"I like you." Yoongi said without thinking, caught up in the moment. Your cheeks tinged pink at his declaration.

"Still?" You asked, avoiding his gaze shyly. "I thought you would have found some other staff member to fool around with by now."

"Nah, Sejin's not my type." He joked. "You are."

"I like it when you're like this Yoongi."

"Like what?"

"Nice." You squeezed his knee affectionately. He placed his hand on top of yours.

"Are you sharing a room tonight?" He asked. "I believe I was promised some champagne."

You grinned. "No, I'm alone tonight. Shall we go up?" He nodded and followed you inside.

***

Your hotel room was smaller than Yoongi's, given that it only had one double bed instead of two singles. Not that he cared. The second the door clicked shut he caged you in against the wood, palms pressed either side of your face. He wasn't going to wait a second longer. He couldn't wait a second longer.

His lips attached themselves to yours greedily, pressing his body into you as he kisses you. Yoongi can't help it, months of pent up want and frustration clouding his mind. You seemed just as desperate also, hands already sliding up the sides of his shirt to touch the bare skin underneath.

"You have no - " He kissed the side of your mouth. " - idea - " His lips moved to your jaw. "- how fucking badly - " Mouth on your neck he sucked the skin between his teeth, nipping at the flesh ever so slightly. "- I've wanted this."

You moaned in response, squeezing his sides. "Me too."

Briefly, he pulled away stripping his jacket and your t-shirt off of you practically growling at the sight of your tits. His memory of them was good but nothing compared to the real thing. He kissed them as he unclasped your bra, hands instinctively cupping them once they were free.

He dropped to his knees, pulling down your leggings and panties, giving you a moment to step out of them leaving you completely bare. Yoongi stayed in this position but hooked one of your thighs up and over his shoulder before diving straight to your leaking core and slipping his tongue between the folds. He felt you almost lose your balance, overcome with the sensation.

"Your pussy is perfect." He said, pushing a finger into you. "I've been fucking dreaming about it."

Your laugh turned into a long moan when he resumed licking your clit, pumping his finger in time with his mouth. Hands tangled in his hair, encouraging him as your hips rocked against his face. After he added a second finger it didn't take long for you to cum hard against his tongue. Yoongi groaned feeling you clench around him. He looked up at you, smirking.

"Jesus christ, Yoongi." You sighed, chest and cheeks both flushed from your orgasm.

"Good?"

"Better than good. Perfect. Amazing." You laughed making him chuckle. He removed his fingers from you and stood, kissing you sweetly on the lips. "Can you get naked now?" You whined. He nodded but didn't move right away, embedding the memory of you naked and pressed up against the door into his brain.

He shed his jeans and t-shirt quickly and you couldn't resist palming his cock over his boxers. Yoongi placed his hand over yours, kissing you deeply as you worked him. His cock was rock hard and any bit of relief felt amazing. "Where do you want it?" He hummed against your lips.

"Anywhere. Just want you."

He walked you backwards to the bed, pushing you on to the soft mattress and ridding himself of his last remaining piece of clothing. His knee went between your thighs spreading them open as he settled between them. Suddenly he remembered that it had been months since he'd last slept with you. It's possible you had had a partner or worse, partners since him.

"Do I need a condom?" He asked in a low voice. You bit your lip and shook your head no.

"Not if you don't want to. You're the only one I've been with in ages."

A wild possessive part of him roared to life, pleased that no one else had got to have you like this. His cock teased at your entrance and you moaned loudly when he dipped the tip of it inside you teasingly. "You want me huh?" He smirked. "Want me to fuck you like old times?"

"Don't care. I need you Yoongi." You whined with a buck of your hips, trying to encourage him as you clung to his shoulders desperately.

He pushed his entire length in agonisingly slowly causing you to practically whimper as you adjusted to his size. Stilling for a moment buried to the hilt he paused, savouring the moment as you made eye contact. "You're so beautiful y/n." He said quietly. Before you could reply he rocked his hips, delighted at the way your eyes closed in pleasure.

He pressed his face into the crook of your neck as he glided in and out of you, going much slower than usual. Yoongi didn't want the moment to end. His orgasm was already bubbling under the surface and he was fighting not to come too early. "How does it feel baby?" He hadn't meant to use the pet name but it just slipped out. In this moment it felt like you were his.

"So good, Yoongi." You moaned. "I want more. Harder, fuck me harder."

Yoongi gave in immediately moving just as you had begged him to. He found the spot in you that made your eyes roll and he drove into it relentlessly, determined to make you fall apart again. "Feels so good. Pussy so tight and wet for me." He grunted.

"For you." You repeated with a gasp. "I'm always so wet for you Yoongi."

"Fuck yeah you are." His pace quickened and when he felt you lock your legs around his waist he knew you were about to come. Angling his hips so that his body was pressed against your clit you cried out his name as you orgasmed. "I'm cumming too, fuck." He groaned, loudly into your neck as he spilled cum into you, eventually slowing his motions to a stop.

Once both of you had regained your breath he rolled off of you, laying on the bed beside you. He didn't know what possessed him but he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together, wanting some kind of closeness still.

To his surprise you nuzzled in to him, placing a small kiss on his jaw. "That was amazing. I can barely think straight."

"I missed that." He mused. You gave him another kiss before rolling of the bed and heading to the bathroom to clean up. Yoongi lay on the bed, body and mind not entirely back to normal yet. He was still in the same position when you returned a few minutes later. "Come here." He said lowly, opening his arms to you.

You crawled into them, placing a head on his chest. Yoongi pulled the comforter over your naked bodies. "Don't you have to go?" You asked.

"Yeah. At some point. Not yet though." He replied, pulling you close. This was unfamiliar to him, you'd never really cuddled together after sex before. This time it was different and he knew it. Things had changed. He'd allowed himself to be more open to you and in return you'd let him in again.

"You're so much nicer to be around when you're not pretending to hate me." You teased, a gleeful tint in your eye. You went to poke his chest but he grabbed your hand before you got the chance to.

"It doesn't give you licence to be the mean one."

You just smiled at him and went quiet for a few moments. "Is everything you said before still true? About liking me?"

Yoongi gulped, suddenly feeling very nervous and vulnerable again. "Yes."

"You know I like you too, right?"

"In that conversation you literally said you hated me." He laughed.

"I was angry at you!"

"Still."

"Over the past few months you've just been different. I like this side of you. You're sweet. You just have this icy exterior sometimes and I don't know why." You said softly. Yoongi was half embarrassed, half secretly pleased at your compliment. "The first time I met you I thought you were so intimidating." You chuckled.

"Seriously?" He scoffed. "Why?"

"You didn't smile once the entire meeting. And you're hot."

Yoongi recalled that day in his mind, being dragged to lunch, annoyed with himself at how attractive he found you. "I remember being annoyed at how pretty you are." He smiled.

"Annoyed?! Why?"

"Because I wanted you and I couldn't deal with it." He laughed at himself. "Idiot, huh?"

"Yeah, kinda." You joined in his laughter. "It makes sense now."

"What does?"

"Your weird hot and cold behaviour. You didn't want to like me. Technically you're not allowed to like me. I get it now. You were just conflicted."

"So you're not mad anymore?" He smirked.

"No." You smiled.

"When can I see you again?" He asked before he could stop himself.

"Maybe we can find some time tomorrow?" You offered. Yoongi nodded.

"Tomorrow."

*** Yoongi regretfully tiptoed out of your room some time after you'd fallen asleep, holding back a silent smile at the untouched bottle of champagne sitting in the mini fridge. You'd both known it was only an excuse to be together anyway. He gave your sleeping form one last glance on the way out, a wave of affection surging through his chest.

Namjoon stirred when Yoongi re-entered their shared suite. The room was in darkness and the younger male sleepily flicked his bedside light on. "Whoosere?" He mumbled, half sitting up in bed. Yoongi tried not to laugh at the irony of asking that question with your eyes closed.

"It's me, Namjoon." Yoongi whispered, quietly crossing over to him.

"What time is it?"

"Late. Go back to sleep." He leaned over Namjoon to flick his light back off but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

"Were you with y/n?" Namjoon asked, voice still husky with sleep. He yawned and Yoongi nodded, opting to sit on the side of his friends bed. "How was it?" Namjoon smirked.

"Fine." Yoongi tried to bite back yet another smile.

"Fine?" Namjoon smirked harder.

"I'm back in the good books, if that's what you mean."

"And it's all thanks to Kim Namjoon: part time idol, part time therapist." Namjoon teased with a small laugh. It was no secret to Yoongi how much help and advice his younger (but wise beyond his years) bandmate had offered him. Not that he was about to give him all the credit.

"Yeah, yeah." He said, pretending to roll his eyes. "You're a genius."

"Why does it feel like you're being sarcastic?" Namjoon joked.  He sat up straighter in bed, feeling a little more awake. "What happens with you and her now? Are you dating?"

"I don't know." Yoongi answered truthfully. "It's not like either of us have much time for it. After tomorrow I don't know when I will even see her again." He sighed.

"You could always do the long distance thing." Namjoon offered, ever the optimist. Yoongi knew that with his lifestyle and career that is almost always the only option he has when it comes to dating. The risks of getting caught get substantially higher however. At least one night stands and flings are easier to keep from the public. Although he can't remember the last time he had one of those before you.

"Yeah, maybe." He said quietly.

"Hyung, you don't see it but you're totally different when you talk to her. All of us have noticed it. She makes you happy. Someone like that might be worth struggling for."

Yoongi sat silently, letting the weight of Namjoon's words sink in. He certainly had a point. "Yeah." Is all he can manage to get out, suddenly feeling a little emotional.

Namjoon finally looked at the alarm clock and swore loudly as he registered the time. "We have to be up in two hours, sorry Yoongi but therapy hours are over."

Yoongi laughed a little before wishing him goodnight and climbing into his own bed, trying not to overthink things as usual.

*** He knew he was being ridiculous. Logically, he understood why he was feeling that way. But it didn't help quell the bitter, ugly emotion rising like bile in his throat at the sight of you being affectionate with a man that wasn't him. Yoongi was jealous.

The unidentified male was a member of staff and foreign, like you. Yoongi guessed he was a sound engineer by the headphones and clipboard he had. You were laughing together, his arm loosely slung around your waist. It made Yoongi feel insecure - another ugly emotion he hated admitting to - maybe you liked this man more than him. Surely it would be easier for you to be with someone who spoke your native tongue.

Surely you'd want to be with someone who can openly put his arm around you like that.

He turned away and frowned, unwilling to watch anymore. His chest felt hot and tight. Jimin was talking as they waited in the backstage corridor and he tried desperately to focus on him but his brain was screaming at him to peek back at you again. He caved.

The guy held you in an embrace now that looked a little too intimate for Yoongi's liking. Before he could stop himself he was walking, headed in your direction, ignoring Jimin call his name.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but can I please talk to y/n?" He found himself asking you and the stranger. You looked completely startled.

"Uh, s-sure Yoongi." You said cautiously. "Andy, excuse me for a minute. I'll come find you later?" You told your friend. Even that sentence annoyed Yoongi. 'Andy' just smiled and nodded, stepping away to give you and Yoongi some privacy.

"Follow me." Yoongi told you, and although you still looked incredibly confused you did as he asked. He walked briskly, taking a turn down the hallway he remembered BangTan's dressing room was down. He stopped at the door opposite, looked left and right to ensure the hallway was empty and roughly dragged you inside.

"Yoongi what's going on?" You exclaimed. "This is a bathroom." You pointed out as you took in your surroundings. Yoongi shut and locked the door behind him. "Why - "

Yoongi couldn't help himself, before you could even finish your sentence, he grabbed you and roughly pushed you up against the door, his lips going straight to yours. Instinctively you kissed him back, so familiar with having your lips on his. His hands held your wrists up against the cool metal of the door.

"Who was he?" He asked gruffly, pressing his entire body in to yours, chest to chest, dark eyes boring into you.

"Who?"

"Andy." He frowned. "I thought you hadn't been with anyone but me."

"He's my friend." You say quietly. "What's the issue?"

"He didn't look like a friend." Yoongi scoffed. His head dipped down to capture your lips again in a heated kiss. He let go of the vice grip on your hands and gripped your hips, pulling you into him. "You let all your friends touch you like that?" He murmured as he pulled away, opting to kiss his way to your neck.

"Like what Yoongi?" You replied breathlessly. "I didn't do anything."

"He was all over you." Yoongi said into your neck. He started to slowly suck on the tender flesh there, taking it gently between his teeth. He felt your breathing begin to labour as he popped open the button on your jeans.

"You can't leave a mark." You told him, almost in a moan. He just hummed in acknowledgement, already suspecting that it's too late for warnings considering the pace he was going.

"Do you want him to touch you here too?" He asked huskily as his hand slipped in front of your underwear, cupping your entire core. "Is he next, after me?" Yoongi asked, pulling away to look at you for an answer.

"It's not like t-that." You stuttered when he started to rub you over your panties. "Don't be jealous."

"Hmm," He said, pushing your underwear to the side so he was able to touch your bare skin, fingers going to your clit instantly. You hissed at the contact. "How can I not be huh?"

You were silent as Yoongi started to rotate his fingers, keeping a languid pace. His head fell to your neck and he resumed his work on red mark that was starting to form, deliberately ignoring your earlier warning. He was going to mark you. If he couldn't have you publicly this was the next best thing.

"Yoongi," You whined, trying to wiggle away from him but he only held you tighter.

"This is so Andy can see he can't touch you like that." He growled, fingers beginning to go ever so slightly faster. Once he was happy that he'd sucked a dark enough bruise into you he pulled back, returning to your lips. "I want you." He breathed. "You have no idea how badly I want you. The way you look is so unfair."

You were too turned on to be mad at him. "I have an idea of how much." You smirked, rolling your hips into his very prominent erection.

"Do you have time to do this here?" He asked lowly.

"No," You murmured, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure - his hand hadn't stopped its ministrations. "But I want it. I want you too."

In one quick motion Yoongi withdrew his hand and flipped you around so that your chest was flush with the door. Your jeans were soon pushed down to your knees before he nudged apart your feet with one swift push of his thigh. "Put your hands on the door and don't move them."

He was quick to pull his cock out and push in to you. There was no time for teasing and foreplay, Yoongi was sure it wouldn't be long before people started looking for both of you. He set a brutal pace and you were gasping beneath him, hands balling into fists against the door.

"No one fucks you like this, do they?" He panted, squeezing your hips for emphasis.

"Fuck - fuck, no." You choked out. "They don't - ugh - it's just you."

"Good girl." He's close now, hips relentlessly smacking against your ass. "I want you to cum, show me you're not lying. Show me I don't have a reason to be jealous again."

"Yoongi." You moaned loudly. He hoped there was no one on the other side of the door because you definitely would have been heard. "You don't have a reason to be jealous."

"Give it to me." He groaned. "Fucking give it to me, cum for me."

He drove in to you with such a force you stumbled a little, catching yourself on the door. You didn't have time to tell him you were cumming but he could feel it, pussy clenching tightly around him. Yoongi barely let you ride out your orgasm before he was cumming himself, as deep inside you as ever.

His head fell against your back as you both panted, spent. "Didn't take you to be the jealous type." You breathed with a laugh. He carefully pulled out of and went to grab some nearby tissue.

"I didn't like people touching you like that." He grumbled, unwilling to meet your eye as he handed you something to wipe down with. He felt stupid for letting his emotions get the better of him.

"You've got nothing to worry about." You said as you cleaned yourself. "There's no one else. I'm not sleeping with anyone else, that wasn't a lie."

"That might change though." Yoongi said, more so to himself as if he just realised it for the first time.

"If it does, you'll be the first to know." You pulled your jeans upwards as you walked to the mirror to fix your hair. "Jesus christ, my neck Yoongi!" You exclaimed, straining to see the darkening red mark. He peered at it behind you. That would definitely bruise, he thought hiding his grin.

"You can hide it with your hair." He shrugged.

As soon as the two of you were back to being presentable, Yoongi peeked out the door first to ensure a discreet getaway for you both. The coast appeared clear and he slipped out, you close behind. Before you went your separate ways you grabbed his hand. "Steal some of my time later?" You ask.

"Of course." He said and you smiled. As he started to walk away you shouted something that made him feel half embarrassed, half relieved.

"By the way, that guy I was with? He's gay!"

***

After the performance there were several press junkets the BangTan had to attend. Yoongi always found them marginally draining, especially in foreign countries. His English wasn't fantastic (although it had improved vastly since debut days) and it took a lot of mental strength to remain focused. Since they were the main act of KCON they had the most interviews. He was glad when they were over.

It was evening time when they arrived back at the hotel. He'd made plans with Namjoon and Jungkook to do some writing with a few ideas Jungkook had. Yoongi felt like a proud older brother whenever Jungkook took an interest in this side of making music. They holed up in him and Namjoon's room to work.

Yoongi was trying his best to text you discretely, keeping his phone turned away from his bandmates as best he could. He was making an attempt to meet you later, given that the next day would be the last of yours in LA. However it didn't work, Jungkook caught him rather easily.

"Yoongi hyung we're supposed to be working." Jungkook reprimanded from behind his macbook as he sat cross legged on the bed.

"Two guesses as to who he's texting." Namjoon smirked, exchanging knowing looks with Jungkook.

"Shut up." Mumbled Yoongi. "I can do two things at once."

"Like waiting to perform and fucking a bathroom?" Namjoon snickered, already laughing at Yoongi's wide eyed stare. "You idiot."

"What?!" Jungkook exclaimed, a shocked expression appearing on his face.

"I sincerely regret sharing that with you Namjoon, you dick." Yoongi swore at him.

"You are crazy, hyung." Jungkook replied with a shake of his head. "What if you'd got caught?!"

Yoongi just shrugged, trying to act like he didn't care. Obviously he would be mortified if he'd got caught but the truth was he didn't. "It was worth it. You'll know if you ever lose your virginity one day Kook." He grinned.

"I'm not a virgin!" Jungkook whined, making both the older boys laugh. He wasn't and hadn't been for a while but they still liked to tease him as he was the youngest. "I hate you guys."

"I won't judge you, it's okay." Yoongi teased.

"You should be careful though hyung, this girl is making you reckless." Namjoon warned, his tone a lot more serious now. "All jokes aside you shouldn’t pull a stunt like that again."

"God, ok. I won't. I won't even have the opportunity. She's leaving tomorrow."

"I know you like her, but don't let her make you stupid. Stop thinking with your dick."

"I think it's too late for that." Jungkook mumbled under his breath.

"Watch it, kid." Yoongi grumbled. He felt foolish knowing he let his bandmates, his leader down like that. Namjoon was right he shouldn't be so reckless. "Look, it won't happen again."

"You were lucky this time, Yoongi hyung. You might not be next time."

Yoongi shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling anxiety constrict on his insides. He needed to be smarter about this before he risked his career any further.

chapter 03 ↩           ↪  chapter 05  

masterlist

[stimmybinnie]

Music Video Monday

PENTAGON JAPAN ORIGINAL 3RD MINI ALBUM 'SHINE' MV

Hey guys!!! So I’m really excited about this one tbh! There are so so so many things I love about this!!! So first of all, I don’t believe I’ve ever talked about pentagon on here yet... but I love them soooooo frickin’ much >.< Also!!! Shine is one of my favorite songs of theirs. I just love everything about it, the music, the fact that it makes me so hype even tho it’s not exactly a hype song... the dance, the outfits, the mv... I can pretty much sing the korean version by heart tbh XD

but with all that said! JAPANESE VERSION! For some reason, this one sounds completely different to me. Like okay Aurora, yes, it is in a different language. However, I mean like the music sounds different and the song itself gives me a different vibe. It’s... more chill I suppose? Which is strange.... since I know there’s not that big of a difference.

Also! this mv!!!! so good!!! It’s still cute as fuck, and I am seriously obsessed with the like... loading screens??? Not many things make me pause with music videos... when Jinho ran up and grabbed the loading circle though, I was just like “....WHAT” & it was awesome. I’m also obsessed with like, the actual lyrics of this song.... so dang cute. ALSO! Shinwon rappin?? love it. Yanan’s iconic “my BAYBAY”? love it. Dawnie’s little... piano thingy/that dance at the beginning (you know what i mean hopefully)?? LOVE IT. and one of my favorite things about this song is wooseok man. His voice & how he sings & raps is just ahhhhhh :D His part is the best to listen to in my car while driving it’s so good. Joon says it’s like 90s punk rock & yeah it just... suits him idk >.<

AND. YUTODA OK. HE JUST... HES SO HAPPY RAPPIN IN JAPANESE IM SO HAPPY & PROUD OF HIM OK?? >.<

So yeah uhhh, I think that's about it!!! Have a good day y’all!

[headfirstslide]

I've been getting into kanye's music recently and since you're bandom's resident kanye fan I was wondering if you had any song recs. So far my favourites are through the wire, all falls down, and flashing lights, but I haven't listened to much yet

OMG omg omg okay im so excited i love getting people into kanye i think he’s such an insanely talented artist but so many ppl write him off cuz of his……history… but anyways okay so def recommend listening to singles first yknow cuz like most popular songs are most popular for a reason plus it gives you a taste of each album so like stronger, all of the lights, heartless, gold digger, can’t tell me nothing, power. if u go thru all the singles u basically listened to all of graduation so i think that’s why it’s the best album to listen to first (also i totally see like insane similarities between infinity on high and graduation but that’s for another post :p) plus you already like flashing lights and the album generally sounds like that . personal favorites from graduation are good life (best feel good song EVER like literally so hard to not dance to) and drunk and hot girls but like everyone hates that song for some reason so maybe i don’t recommend it HELP. i think my beautiful dark twisted fantasy is the best album ever (also it’s totally kanye’s folie a deux) and runaway is the best song off of it and also kanye’s best song in general. i think listening to the album in full is the best experience but if you must it’s still amazing on its own. monster is also an insane song and nicki minaj’s verse is SO insane . also def recommend gorgeous i love kid cudi. idk there’s like a lil bit of everything in his discography, if you want a more lowkey listening you would go to 808s and heartbreak : i love welcome to heartbreak (another kid cudi feature lol) robocop, and love lockdown. i really love the life of pablo however post 2010 kanye music has waaaaay more like …. shocking lyrics and that’s def not everyone’s taste but i think it makes it funny so i vibe on. ultralight beam (idk why but just yelling out I MET KANYE WEST IM NEVER GOING TO FAIL gets me hyped every single time even tho the song itself is like laid back lol) and ALSO speaking of hype definitely recommend facts (charlie heat version) i need kanye to scream more but also it totally has those O__o kind of lyrics so like not for everyone but it’s fun if you look past it LOL. okay anyways here are just some other random songs i rec: diamonds from sierra leone, i thought about killing you, blame game, the new workout plan, no more parties in la, bound 2, black skinhead, jesus walks. tbh this isn’t even a reclist these are just my favorites and i have weird taste LMAO . okay sorry i hope this is like coherent but anyways if you get anything out of this i must say over and over again LISTEN TO MY BEAUTIFUL DARK TWISTED FANTASY i always promote it it’s soooooo insane and like artistic and just like the best album ever runaway is the best song ever . i hope u enjoy at least like one song off of this :]

[blogging-phelddagrif]

My Favourite Game

Hello everyone! This week instead of another edition of My Limited Knowledge I wanted to take a little break and talk about my very favourite video game. I haven’t played it in a while but recently I realized is was available on IOS and I instantly bought it for another play through and to see if there was anything different; it had been so long that it felt like a brand new experience and I loved it just as much as before! The game I’m talking about it Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP.

This indie game has been my favourite game since 2012 and I have yet to find any game that comes close to it. The game is an adventure puzzle game where you play a character who’s trying to solve a mystery around a grim mountain where an evil force lurks. The story itself is fairly original, the puzzles you need to solve are simple enough at first and get more subtle as the game goes, but you always have just enough clues for it to be enjoyable, not too hard to but not easy either. I’ll go over the different aspects of the game and try to explain why it’s such an amazing game.

the Humour

Right off the bat you get a grip of the nice humour the game has, mostly through the narration & dialogues. It’s always subtle little quips and comments, but it brings such a nice touch to the game and most of the time it’ll make you crack a smile. The game in itself is dark in general, with some fantasy & dream-like aspect, but the little touch of humour really brings something nice to it and I thought they really nailed it. The narrator is an amazing character who helps you unfold the story with some helpful remarks, often riddled with snark, but it helps lighten up the mood. He even tells you to take a break every now and then, which is nice.

the Visuals

While the game is all in an 8-bit style and the visuals aren’t all HD & such, it still pulls an amazing feeling. The game is beautiful, I don’t know how else to put it, it’s just so good to look at. They were able to make a marvellous incredible world & setting with just some 8-bit graphics, which is an amazing feat. The feel of the game is a mix of dark tones with a dream twist. The is a big emphasis on the dream world and it really feels like you’re in a dream, everything seems just a bit off & weird, yet magical. Honestly it’s hard to describe, you really have to experience it to understand, but I haven’t seen visuals give that much of a mood to a video game before, and its even more impressive with that type of graphics, like I didn’t even know it was possible to achieve something like this.

the Story

One of the big reason why I love the game so much is it’s story. The story is really compelling and original while still being relatively simple. You’re trying to solve a mystery surrounding an evil force the lives in the mountains and you want to seal it away. So you try to find these magical beings around the real world, as well as stepping in the dream world. When you find & free those beings you start finding pieces of a magical book that can seal away the evil force. Like I said, it’s pretty simple, but the way that the story unfolds and the pace of it is perfect and so enjoyable. Even on my second play through I was captivated by the story and I loved every single moment of it. Also the game revolves around the moon which, and it even interacts with the moon cycle of the real world, with areas you can only find when the moon is at certain phases. I thought this was something so weird and yet so interesting for a game to do. At first I wasn’t sure but with enough hints from the characters & the environment you eventually realize that the game is affected by the real life moon cycle and my mind was blown at that point. There are also different ways you can advance in the story since my first play through I finished the game at around 90% and this time around with 95%, there are still things I haven’t found in it and I’m excited to find them on my next play through! Also this is the only game where I also shed a tear at the end, it got to me real bad.

the Encounters

The game doesn’t rely heavily on the fight sequences, but that’s fine, the big thing of the game is it’s story & mystery solving aspect. The fights are actually fun & exciting, the mechanics are simple, you can block some incoming attacks and fight back with you sword, you also need to use your sword to parry any projectiles and sometimes you need to dodge some big attacks by using the block ability at the exact right moment. The first time around it’s kind of hard, especially when you’re not sure what to expect from the enemy but once you get a hold of it it’s fine, just time you things properly. One thing I really like is that it’s synced up to the music, so you actually know when the enemy is going to attack if you pay attentions to the soundtrack. Something else that I really LOVED is that the game gets harder as you progress, not because the enemies are getting stronger, but because you’re getting weaker & weaker. The task you are achieving is taking a toll on your and your character is growing weaker as time goes, which makes the game harder & more intense. Like, at the end of the game it’s becoming really stressful because you have this evil creature chasing you and you have to get away from it but you’re so weak that you’re walking slowly and your character has to stop every now and then and it’s jus so intense.

the Music

This is another MASSIVE strong point of the game, the soundtrack is ridiculously good! I bought the game’s album back in 2012 and I still listen to the soundtrack today; I’ve never done this for a game before, hell I’ve never even went and gotten the soundtrack of a game at all! The music is just soooooo good and it fits with the game so well! The guy who made all the music, Jim Guthrie, also appears in the game where you can jam with him and it’s such a unique experience. I found myself sometimes staying in a certain part of the map just so I could listen to the song for longer. The soundtrack sets such a big mood, and with the visuals it creates a perfect gaming experience, it becomes so immersive. Like I said before, the music also syncs up with the action, so during any fight you can listen to the song to know when attacks are coming  such; the music also varies depending on the environment so you can get some audio cues for certain change, or to know to look out for something. I think then did an amazing job with the music, I’ve never enjoyed a soundtrack as much as this one.

Wrap-Up

I think that pretty much covers the different topics I wanted to talk about. Honestly, I don’t think this gives it enough justice, you have to try it out to understand how good it is. This game has been, by far, my favourite video game for 5 years now, I feel it’s as close to perfect as a game can be, it’s just amazing on every possible level. So please, try it out, I promise you won’t be disappointed! Here’s the trailer for the game to give you an idea of what it’s like:

[junmyuns]

so i am back from got7′s melbourne fanmeet and here are my thoughts!!

ok so, i’m ngl, i was not very impressed with the organisers of this event?? everything seemed like such a mess, and it made things awkward and weird. i’ve been to lots of kpop concerts/fanmeetings since i first got into kpop, but this one was the most messy imo :/

and it’s funny bc got7 aren’t even my fave group out of all that i’ve seen, but i was soooooooo excited for this fanmeet, more than for some other groups that i consider faves.

i got there kind of late though (5pm), and so most of the merch was gone (though i don’t think i had plans to buy any so that was prob good for my wallet), but most of the freebies ppl were passing out had gone too. i managed to get a pack of cute photocards and a banner but that’s about it. i was too busy in the gold queue for wristbands. i got the yellow one!

that being said, even at the very beginning when they had technical trouble (the curtain was supposed to drop and reveal the members but it never did so they had to bring guys in to manually remove it from the hanging), it was kind of like an omen of what was to come (this sounds so dramatic).

that being said, this is no slight on the boys at all!! they were wonderful! (and dealt with the curtain malfunction perfectly). just other things could have been handled a lot neater by the organisers tbh.

i think they performed q and sign first?? i’m trying to think back on everything... i really love q esp btw, it’s one of my faves on the album (just kind of sad that they didn’t do my fave: paradise).

so at the beginning, andy (the host) asked them a bunch of questions based on the arrival letters. idk i feel like that concept made things a bit awkward, esp when he’d have to prompt the boys to talk. i always like it better when one of the mcs is in the group itself bc since they all know one another, it kind of makes it easier to get a conversation/banter going? they did good though! and mark talked quite a lot in this portion, which warmed my heart. he was pretty good at getting the others answering the questions, and it was all really cute :’) (esp when it was revealed that he and jb have been stealing jinyoung’s shampoo and jinyoung told them it was ok bc “we are one”...he touched jb after that and i’m sorry but my jjp heart launched itself right out of my chest i love them i can’t believe i witnessed that live...I WILL GET BACK TO JJP IN A MOMENT THOUGH).

also, when he got to the letter V, bambam started talking about taehyung?? then he and the translator had the most awkward exchange ever bc bambam joked about it being nice when he’s next to taehyung?? something like that, and the translator thought he said the sun (taeyang), and bambam was like nope this is bad joke sorry. it was so awkward to watch but thinking about it now makes me laugh so much though oh my god.

everyone seemed in a good mood but jackson :( idk if something is up with him, whether he’s not feeling well/he’s tired/misses his mum (bc it’s her birthday) or maybe even his brother and niece, but i don’t think he even talked at all during the first question round. he kind of just sat there looking sad while everyone else talked. i have seen jackson get like this in varieties and stuff, but it’s really heartbreaking to see in person, esp bc jackson is usually so hyper, and he’s my fave too. however, he did talk more towards the end, and i just think he was having an off day (which i don’t blame him for at all bc the amount of stress and work that they have is ridiculous). i think i spent most of the performances staring at jackson and feeling really worried about him, which gave what i was watching more of a sense of realism that i usually don’t feel when i’m at a concert. either way, i really do hope he feels better soon whatever the case.

also, i didn’t talk about youngjae yet!! he wasn’t there (he’s in korea bc he’s not feeling well. he’s with coco according to mark :p), so we didn’t get to see him :( he did have a video message for us though, and the cheers were so loud for him every time they showed him on screen it was great :’D i hope he feels better soon too!

anyway after that, they had a games round and i think the first one was the cheek to cheek round and the JJP LET ME TELL YOU. so basically, it’s that game where two ppl are blindfolded and then there’s an object held between both of their cheeks and they have to guess what the item is using only their cheeks (jackson: “any object?? even a PINEAPPLE”). jb and jinyoung  were put together and i y e l l e d bc i never thought i’d get to see jjp live but boy did i. i actually legit got choked up and i’ve never felt that way at a concert before. like my bias could be dancing right in front of me but give me my otp and i am a fucking goner. THEY DID THE JJ CROSS THING. also one of the members (bambam??) took away the object at one point and jjp were cheek to cheek/sort of kissing?? i can always trust the other members to give me A++ quality jjp content so thanks guys!! (btw their object was an apple). jackson and yugyeom were next (object: plush toy parrot) and then (after some discussing) it was mark and bambam (foam plane).

either way, the jackson/jinyoung/bambam team lost and jackson had to do a girl group dance (aoa’s excuse me) and it made my life. he’s so cute. also at one point jinyoung had to do aegyo and he apologised after but it really was adorable i love aegyo.

i think they did the x2 dance speed game after that? this is another thing that annoyed me. the speed was wayyyy too fast, and yugyeom even brought it up after the first round...that not even weekly idol did it that fast, and whether the organisers could make a bit slower, but nope, just as fast during the second round... and idk. i just didn’t like how the organisers dealt with that.

but before they started dancing bambam was like “i need to take my earrings off for this”. i love this kid.

mark/jb/yugyeom lost and their punishment was another fast dance oh man.

i’m prob messing up all the order with everything that happened, but i can’t remember too well haha.

i know that they performed fly and skyway at some point in the middle though. and it’s funny bc fly isn’t my fave title track of theirs at all, but i loved watching that performance.

i haven’t talked about how cute both yugyeom and bambam were though!!!!! they were so fun and if i didn’t have my bias already locked in place they would have threatened that position so easily :D also bambam kept dabbing but does that come as a surprise to anyone. pls. they seemed really happy :)))

so at some point they had a draw to win an all member signed placard, and they were supposed to pull seat numbers from a box. like a lucky draw type thing. each of the members was supposed to pull a seat, BUT when they started they kept drawing blank pieces of paper?? and so andy had to go backstage to see what was up with the blank pieces, and then got7 were told to entertain the crowd in the mean time, and it was just so disorganised? like the members were kind of confused, and the organisers were kind of scrambling to figure out some way to choose ppl (at first they wanted the members to point out ppl from the crowd, but then they managed to get the lucky draw thing to work somehow idk). anyway, to distract us all, bambam made yugyeom do a sexy dance which was awesome, but also yugyeom is a BABY to me. he’s younger than my lil bro and he can sexy dance all he wants but i still feel like his mother haha.

also, at some point a fanboy won one of the placards and bambam (and mark) got super excited about it. bambam wanted another fanboy to win one it was cute.

they did their ments then. it went: jackson, jinyoung, jb, mark, bambam and yugyeom. all of them did it in english except jb haha. jinyoung’s english is REALLY good. like i knew he was good, but i didn’t expect it to be THAT good, you know? i also really like how whenever jackson tells everyone to stay healthy, he always stresses both physical AND mental health. it’s nice :’)

they performed hard carry and never ever then, i think? suuuuuper hype!!!!!

ok so another awkward moment is that during encore, one of the members (mark?) told everyone to get up out of their seats and literally everyone started rushing to the front of the stage. like everyone in gold. and then the security guards had to yell at everyone to go back to their seats, and bambam was just like “...i just meant get up, guys. not go forward...” and it was just a confusing mess of awkward but also kind of funny now that i think back on it. but then they came out and performed out and go higher and ppl swarmed to the stage again, but i don’t think the security guards could do anything at this point since they were performing already. either way, i got a good view of all the boys since the ppl in front of me had headed to the front and it was BEAUTIFUL. got a good view of pretty much all of them tbh since they moved around the stage a lot.

LASTLY, HI TOUCH!! so everyone in gold was given an armband at the start (either green, yellow or pink). they announced at the end that green and yellow were hi touch and pink was the photo opp. i’m actually SO GLAD that i got hi touch bc i wanted that more than the photo opp. so yesssss, i’ve actually seen up close and touched all the members (except youngjae ughhh). order was: yugyeom, bambam, jb, mark, jinyoung and jackson. i was telling myself that THIS TIME i would gauge their heights (bc i always want to do it when i do hi touches but never end up managing it bc it goes by too fast). i was soooooo nervous when we were lining up. maybe even more so since i waited longer than previous hi touches, and when we were lining up all of us got a nice view of them and they’re so good looking irl it actually pains me. and no, i didn’t remember to check our their heights. hah.

it went by so fast (like most hi touches), but i remember yugyeom and bambam’s hands are pretty soft. jb and mark smack five you a bit more. i don’t remember what jinyoung and jackson did bc i literally forgot how to word and exist the moment i saw jinyoung. he is GORGEOUS. you think you know but you don’t k n o w. i also very clearly remember yugyeom bc he was first and there was a tiny lag in the line so i was prob in front of him the longest. bambam was really cute. jb gave me direct eye contact. i love him. mark tbh i don’t remember all that much bc it was too fast :( jinyoung, like i said, ethereally beautiful. and then jackson wasn’t as smiley. i think he still wasn’t feeling so great, so he just looked a bit sad/serious :( anyway, i didn’t manage to say anything other than “hi” to them, and i don’t think any of them said anything either? just smiled mostly.

also, when i was lining up the security guard told me that her fave was jackson and i was like saaaame girl.

either way, the last person i touched was jackson and the first person i saw was my bro who told me to touch his face so i rubbed jackson on him haha.

and it’s funny but i don’t feel that post concert/fanmeet depression feel as much lately when i go see groups. i just feel kind of happy and a bit nostalgic, which makes it a lot easier to deal with. i’m so happy and fortunate to have had this experience (despite my qualms), and i like feeling like this. it’s a lot better than being devastated that it’s over. of course i’m sad that it’s finished, but i’m also really looking forward to looking back on this whole experience as a fond memory in years to come. and there’s something really nice about that, i think :’)