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river13245 · 2 days ago

Text

Mend

Word count: 3.6K

Warnings: Father figure issues, hints at domestic abuse but nothing too graphic.

A/N: I fucking love Joel Miller and love writing for him. Bear with me darlings. (also I picture Logan looking a little like Kurt Cobain.)

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When you come home after a trip with your current boyfriend. You weren't expecting your life to change so drastically as it did.

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After spending 3 months at a beautiful spot in Italy with your boyfriend. You were much more tan than when you left. Texas was a beautiful place but nothing beat the Italy sun and how crisp the air was. Their small towns with all the shops and the water you could go too and spend your days at. It was all so pleasant there, it was like living our your Mamma Mia dreams. Especially when you chose to wear a sundress on your first day there. Nothing bad could happen to you there and you chose to remember it that way. Choosing to block out the bad things that occurred.

When you had finally returned home it was the hot air that first greeted you. It was so different from Italy, in Italy you didn't really sweat, but in Texas that's all you did. Especially on hot days like this. You had been carrying three of your suitcases while your boyfriend Logan was only carrying one of your small bags. Just so he could feel like he was helping you out. Walking inside you were trying to breathe through your nose as you felt your arms growing tired from carrying all the suitcases. You see your father in the living room sitting on his chair that he always sat at as he watched the news. "Hi dad" you say and he barely gave you any sign that he heard you.

The only way you knew he saw you was because he had glanced over to look at Logan before back to the TV in front of him. "come on" Logan says as he passes by you and makes his way into your room where he has been so many times before. When he opens the door he tosses your bag onto your bed while you gently place your suitcases into a corner in your room so you could unpack them at a later time.

Logan was always so careless with your stuff, he would toss your things not really carrying where it landed or how rough he was being with your things. It was one of the many things that both of you argued about. "Could you please not just toss my things. You don't know what could be in that bag" you say as you turn to face him. He sighs as if it was such an inconvenience to him to take care of your things "I've told you so many times that whatever breaks I could just pay for another one. So does it even matter?"

Fuck him and his mommy's money. His mom was loaded with money, more money than she even knew what to do with. So with him being her only child it seemed the extra money went all to him. It was so much that the man in front of you hasn't worked a day in his life. His nails were never dirty and there were no callouses on his palms or fingers. Not saying that's what made you a man but you loved men who got dirty and had rough hands. Rough hands that would touch you ever so softly. You looked at him and said "There could be something inside that's really valuable to me that I don't want broken" pushing him further even though you knew it would only be a bad idea. However you never learned to just let things be.

He looks at you before grabbing your bag. "why do you have to be so fucking annoying. Look I'll show you what all you have in here" he says as he unzips the bag in front of you. In the next moment he is tossing things everywhere in your room. Things like tampons, pads, makeup, chargers etc. It's not until he gets to a box that you freeze and hope he doesn't toss but he does. Just like the others it lands somewhere into the room before you could go to catch it. When he's done he looks at you "look nothing. So stop being a bitch when all I was doing was trying to help you"

You look at the box and get down onto your knees to grab it. Ignoring his words you open it up and see your grandmothers pendant necklace. It was one of the only things she had given you before she died. The pendant is cold against your warm hand and as you run your fingers against its cool metal you see that it's broken. Tears formed in your eyes and you refused to let them fall. Logan has never seen you cry and you wouldn't let it happen now. "get out" you say with a sudden bravery.

There had only been a few times you've ever stood your ground with him and it never seemed to end well. He looks at you with a shocked expression "excuse me?" As he takes a step closer to you, you stand up "its just a stupid necklace. You could get hundreds of those exactly like it. I can just get you another one." He knew it wasn't just a necklace to you, in fact he knew the story behind this necklace and it gutted you that he was just so emotionless.

Looking into his eyes you shake your head "I don't want another one! Nothing could replace this one you asshole!" anger was boiling inside of you and the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself. He walks closer to you until your back was pressed against the cold wall and that's when he does it. His fist goes through the wall and your head turns to the side as you recoil against the wall. Wanting it to swallow you whole.

His hand roughly grabbed your face and jerked your head to look at him. You knew that there would be a bruise or two on your cheek from how rough he was being. It doesn't take much till you are looking at him, he was only an inch taller than you. "Id watch how you speak to me from now on. We wouldn't want any repeats of the other night would we" his words make your stomach drop as he reminds you about what happened a few times while you were in Italy.

Italy that was once beautiful he had tried to taint and ruin for you. You would not let him, that place had been a dream. Next time you would just have to go without him. Fully enjoy the weather and the people. Get to know people that passed by you and interacted with. You loved people in fact you were a really outspoken person so why does this man, along with your father make you so different.

Shaking your head you get a bit dizzy, not responding verbally. "You know what to do" he says as he lets go of your face. The familiar words that you've spoken more times than you'd like to admit start falling from your lips once again. "I'm sorry, please I'm so sorry. I know you didn't mean to break anything. Just trying to help me and it's my fault for making you so angry. Not being appreciative of what you were doing. I just need to keep my mouth shut"

He seems to like what you are saying because there is a sadistic smirk forming on his lips. There was no softness to those eyes of his. No love, not adoration. You don't think that he has cared for anything or anyone in his life. In fact you don't think he even cares about his own mother. If she didn't give him money he would have no use for her. Before you even can react he kisses you and you cant help but flinch back "great job babe. I knew you would come to your senses" when he pulls away he walks downstairs and you slowly follow behind him.

When the both of you walk downstairs he walks over to speak with your father, while you go to your mother who was in the kitchen. She turns her head and sees you for the first time since you've got back and runs up to hug you. Your face bury into her neck and for the first time in months your body relaxes just a bit more than it has. "hi mom" you say and she smiles as she pulls away to look at you "hi sweet girl. I missed you. You will have to tell me all about your trip when you get the chance"

Things between you and your mom were really good. You've always had a great relationship with her. However one thing you would never understand was why she was with your father. He was such an asshole to you and she stood by him. If he went to bed we all had to follow suit, no matter how early it was. It felt as if we couldn't live if he wasn't watching us closely to make sure we didn't step one toe out of line. That couldn't be how love was could it.

If that was how love was supposed to be like then why didn't you love Logan. He acted just like your father if not worse. Your father had only ever hit you once when you were a child and that was the first time your mother ever yelled at him. Lets just say he has not done it since. Maybe that's why your father practically shoved you right in front of Logan like a trophy and he made it his mission to get the two of you together. Unfortunately for you, he didn't stop until he got what he wanted so that's why you were stuck with him. There was no out for you, if you left not only would Logan hurt you but so would your father.

Yeah you refused to believe that's what love is supposed to be like. So now the question is, what is love supposed to be like.

Logan and your father had stopped talking and he pulls Logan into a quick hug. His hand hitting his back firmly like they were best pals. When they pulls away and Logan opens the door he looks over at you and your blood runs cold "I'll see you later babe" he left before you could say anything back.

Babe. That's the only thing he ever called you and you hated it. There were so many other things you could be called. Things like honey, dear, love, darling, good girl, shit at this point you would take baby. Babe was just so basic and boring, it held no meaning to it at all, especially not in the way he said it. Maybe it was just him..you don't know. It could be because you felt nothing for the man you were dating. But what could you do about it, nothing.

There also were never any loving kisses. Hell there were barely any unless it was when he wanted to use you for sex. Sex which you never got off too and had to take care of yourself when he left you there. No kisses before he left or just because he wanted too. This man acted as if you had the plague and you hated how much it ripped you into shreds.

When you hear his fancy car that was honestly quite ugly to you drive out of your long driveway. Your father turns to finally speak to you "get your things unpacked and put on an outfit other than that. Your mother is making dinner and we will be having a guest" of course the only time he talks to you is to subtly insult you and to boss you around. He never wanted to get to know you, never was that dad and you knew better than to expect him to be. You knew how he was from a young age which is why you loved your mother.

"okay father" those are the only words you say before heading back upstairs into your small bedroom. Honestly you couldn't even call it a bedroom it was more like a closet. It fit a twin sized bed that was too damn small for you and made you wake up with a stiff neck and sore back almost all the time. Along with your dresser and a few bookshelves. Of course you made it cozy because you decorated heavily. There were band posters hung all over your wall and tapestries on your ceiling. On your bookshelves there were tons of books and even your record player. Your records being in sleeves and on their own special racks. There were a few lights in your room since you liked warm tones in your room after the suns tarts to go down. Never use much light when the sun is up because you loved natural light and it saved on the electric bill.

You grab the suitcases that were in the corner and start to unpack them one by one. It takes about 30 minutes to finish unpacking everything and as soon as you were done you got ready. Going through your clothes you pick out jeans and a white blouse that was more nicer than what you currently had on. Which was shorts and a baggy t-shirt. You always needed to be presentable in front of your father so you made sure to brush your hair and pull it up nicely before heading back downstairs.

When you walk downstairs you see your mother working away in the kitchen while your father was sitting In his chair. It always pissed you off how he made your mother do everything while he just sat on his ass. He worked while your mother didn't she was always a stay at home mom but she had told you years ago she wishes she worked because she got bored staying in the same place for so long. You were walking into the kitchen to help her when there was a knock on the door. "Natalia answer the door" your father yells loudly so you'd be able to hear. Rolling your eyes you mutter "please would be appreciated" your mother heard you and you swear a small smile was on her lips.

A small smile forms on your lips after seeing your mom smile which was rare for her. You head to the door and open it, revealing a man who was considerably taller than you. Looking up at him you think he had to be 5'10 or something. The man looks down at you and waits patiently to be invited in. "Come on in. Make yourself comfortable" you say kindly

He walks in after saying a quick thank you and your eyes follow him, he was the epitome of what a man in Texas would look like. He's be on the cover of a magazine or something if the title was "a Texan man." The man was wearing a grey shirt with a flannel that was unbuttoned, then jeans that were tucked into the boots he was wearing. Noticing that he hadn't taken them off at the door and you couldn't imagine your father not telling him the rule at some point. Maybe he was trying to piss them off. You didn't know.

While he talks with your father you go to help your mother in the kitchen. "so who is he?" you ask her quietly and she smiles "He is the neighbor, your father and him have become acquainted. He is a good man" you nod and just as soon as you start finishing up the pasta your father calls for you "Natalia come introduce yourself. Don't be rude." His tone left no choice but to obey. So you dry off your hands after washing them and then walk to the man beside your father and hold out your hand. "I'm Natalia its a pleasure to meet you" he takes your hand firmly but not roughly and you could feel his rough hands against your soft ones "The names Joel" A warmth spreads through your body and you are quick to let go as his eyes linger on you.

Seeing that could have been rude to just pull away like that your father glances at you. "I'm sorry. I should be going to help in the kitchen. Food will be done any moment now." you give Joel a kind smile before turning away to walk away. Its like you were trained to be sweet and kind in front of your father. Ever since you were younger if you weren't a certain way he would discipline you if you stepped a toe out of line. Always telling you that a man never likes when a woman speaks out of turn or doesn't listen. It's probably one of the reasons you didn't like men very much.

His rough hands aren't the only thing you notice about Joel Miller. The more you hear him talk to your father at the table you notice he has such a deep southern drawl. He must have been born and raised here and you've always loved a man with an accent. Shaking your head you plate everyone's food and pass out everyone's plates in front of them. Your father thanks your mother while ignoring you completely while Joel makes sure to say it to you. "your welcome" you respond before sitting down to eat with everyone.

As everyone talked you stayed quiet and in the short time you've learned a few things about Joel Miller. He had a daughter who was 12 years old and that his whole world revolved around her. It was so refreshing to see a father who loved their kid. It was a pleasant time until it wasn't because your father must have brought up a sensitive topic.

"I'm surprised you came to dinner tonight. You are usually a very busy man" Joel's shoulders tense up. "yeah I've been taking care of my daughter. She just got over a cold" he responds as your father begins to eat his food. "Cant you have her mother watch her? I know how tiring it is to be with a daughter all the time"

Your fathers words make you look at your plate and you can feel Joel eye you for a moment before looking back him. "Mother isn't around" is all he says and your father seems to not notice how tense the man is because he thinks for a moment "well if you ever need anyone to watch over your daughter. Mine would be honored to help you out. It will get her out of the house" he looks at you "wouldn't you?" You nod and finish swallowing your food before responding. "yeah of course. I'm sure she is lovely. Whenever you need"

Joel looks at you for a moment before noticing how distant your eyes look. He was good at reading people, he had to be good at it for his business. Needing to know if people were bullshitting him. "sure, uhm. You free tomorrow night, I've got to work at 7 and wont be home till real late?"

your eyes widen at how soon it was but you fix your expression and smile. "yes of course. I don't have any plans so I'll be there." Honestly you would do anything if It meant you would be out of the house and away from your father. Your mother was safe with him, in fact he was so nice and kind to her it was so different than how he treated you. So you wouldn't have to worry about her. Joel looks at you again and nods "good."

Another thing you noticed was that Joel was a man of few words. He wasn't coming across as being an asshole so you didn't think that was his intention. It was just who he was. He wasn't super intimidating or threatening so he seemed harmless. The only thing was that he made you a little nervous every time he looked at you. It was as if he was reading you and you hated it. You've spent years trying to make yourself as complicated and difficult to read. You've done it for so long that you don't even know who the real you is anymore. Is it this innocent sweet girl you were with your father, or your outgoing and confident persona you put on when you are partying with friends. You honestly didn't know and you didn't need anyone to figure it out for you.

Eventually everyone is finished with their food and you tell your mom you will get the dishes. A kiss is placed on your cheek before she leaves you in the kitchen while Joel was saying goodbye to them. Once he leaves your father looks at you "clean everything up before you go to sleep. Then tomorrow you will work in the yard because its getting out of hand" you nod and he goes to bed with your mother

The rest of your night is spent scrubbing the floors, sweeping them, dusting. Not stopping until everything is spotless and you are about to drop to your knees from tiredness. As soon as you get ready and into your bed you lay down and pass out instantly.

A/N: I picture Logan to look a bit like Kurt Cobain. (photo just for reference)