#also the hidden part of several threads

[iz-star]

Zayne: Hidden Motive - The hidden meaning behind these two images and other thoughts about this card.

Warnings: NSFW talk, personal interpretation about this card, some analysis (probably overanalyzing lol).

I've already mentioned this quickly over twitter, tho I have to admit that I hate to write down my thoughts over there cause it's already difficult for me to put my ideas in order, let alone writing them in threads (and not even in my native language, my brain can't do so much). So I'm going to try to explain this here better, especially cause I've seen a lot of people not so sure of what happened in this card, if what Zayne and MC did was straight up dry humping or if it was all just the movement of the chair without actually touching each other.

Of course, this card was wild just for the already suggestive (let alone, stimulating?) work of the camera when MC is on top of Zayne, but this game is not even rated +18 so they have to be careful about what they show. Sex isn't anything new to this game, however it all depends on the way it is portrayed and showcased. Most of the times, sex is always implied; there are spicy moments but it has never been anything overly explicit, most cases the sexy scenes are more like foreplay, what leads to actual intercourse/sex, the last part being left to the imagination. If they were going to be wild with this card, they had to be soft at portraying it, unironically. In order to do that, they had to resort to certain storytelling resources, in this case: the rocking chair, the leaf and the fabric over the couch.

The rocking chair's purpose I think it's quite obvious and it was to not to blatantly show MC and Zayne rocking against each other, it was like the perfect excuse to put them on such a situation without the characters doing it willingly, or so so cause it's already too much to know that MC is sitting on top of Zayne, however this is not new to the game, right? MC sitting on top of Zayne's lap is actually quite normal, she's done it several times; here they just had to give them an excuse to move and when Zayne pulled MC towars him, everything started. I seriously praise the masterminds behind this scene cause they literally gave us Zayne and MC starting to dry hump in front of our very eyes in a very subtle way.

Again, the camera direction is the most risky thing they had done to showcase a sexual act so far, and I'm not mentioning this to downplay any other sexy scenes from Zayne or the other LIs, it's simply bc the bouncing movement it's too explicit and induces quite strong sexual ideas related to it, to go further seemed to be impossible at this point, however it also looked like they wanted us to be sure of what was happening here somehow, that it wasn't only the rocking chair making us seeing things, so in order to confirm what our minds were thinking and it wasn't only the sound of Zayne's kisses filling the room, they resorted to metaphors: the leaf and the fabric over the couch.

Maybe this is my dirty mind speaking, but is so suggestive the way this image was showed right after Zayne asked MC "Do I look like I can work right now?" with all the movement of the camera going wild and he resuming to kiss/suck MC's neck. It literally started to rain in this very moment, and the drop running down the leaf seems to be a metaphor of MC's arousal. Yes, she was getting wet down there. For this one, I think that the reference is quite easy to understand and there's no need to explain more, except to say that I actually loved the subtle yet beautiful/elegant way to refer to her arousal.

But what about the fabric over the couch?

If the image of the leaf was a reference to MC, then this one is a reference of Zayne's own arousal. What this image has is a disheveled fabric that's hanging from the edge of the couch, so there's two things:

The couch → Zayne's thighs/legs (isn't it a common joke within the fandom that Zayne is MC's favorite chair due to all the times she sits on his lap, anyway?)

The fabric → Zayne's robe.

Did you notice that among the four LIs, it was Zayne's robe the only one with the loosest tie and both sides of his robe do not even cross? like this thing it's barely keeping together somehow.

Which is genuinely surprising coming from Zayne, the Zayne whose towel outfit has the safest tie, the Zayne whose workout outfit covers his body from head to toe, the same Zayne who has dressed five (or was it six?) layers of clothes in the past (Master of Fate), the same Zayne who is always wearing long coats and suits and literally the one who makes us feel like victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time lol.

I definitely think they did this on purpose. Give him easier access? Hell yeah. What this image is intending to say is that he was already opening his robe down there, making the contact with MC's wetness closer? Maybe that's why after this, she told him not to be too intense? Hmm...

Now, this probably is my overanalysis, it's up to you if you choose to believe this or not. For some people, media is about what is explicitly told, but narrative resources say a lot most part of the time, it helps the writers to give the readers hints about certain foreshadowing or, in this case, to reference to certain things that are impossible to address due to censorship.

Personally, I loved this card so much, but at the same time, it leaves me with a sense of dread. Did you notice how emotional, bittersweet or even sad/nostalgic was Zayne's bgm during his kindle? I saw some people uploaded the recording of his kindle without the bgm just to appreciate the naughty sounds (no blame here cause I did too ngl ahaha), but it made me want to listen to the music alone and good lord, the music made me so emotional. After watching the kindle with the music on again, I realized of how emotional this moment becomes when the bgm is playing. It gives vibes of something so intense yet so fragile. Go listen and appreciate it alone, you'll see what I'm talking about:

I noticed that they used two new songs for these cards, one was this one and the other was used in Rafayel's kindle, for Xavier and Sylus' kindles, they used bgm that was previously used in other memories. It's also interesting that the art direction of Zayne and Rafayel's kindles has a bit of a somber mood to them, like even their scenarios make sure to use cold colors and emotional backgrounds, while Xavier and Sylus' use more warm and romantic colors, (tho at least Xaviers bgm music was also intense even if the song is not new).

I feel like the bgm wanted to give a sensual yet emotional feeling to most scenes (except Sylus' since this one was the most chill, which is normal considering that he's new), however, we can't deny that Zayne's song feels like something is about to break somehow, idk how to explain. Someone in the comments section of the video said that it was angsty and beautiful just like Zayne is...

I've been feeling like Zayne's latest cards have been really emotional an intense. In Snowy Serenity is Zayne the one who is in danger, in Hidden Motive, it's MC the one in danger and both cards showcase how far are they willing to get in order to secure each other's safety (and also how much they lie to each other about their own safety lol).

In Snowy Serenity, Zayne and MC get emotionally closer, in Hidden Motive they get physically closer and yet both cards have a bit of both themes too, emotional and physical intimacy on another level.

In Snowy Serenity, Zayne knew that he might not be back so he asked MC to see him off the airport and gave her a hug, even if he never said goodbye, and in Hidden Motive, he tells her that she's not allowed to leave him without saying goodbye. Then he tells her he'll like her as long as she's alive and well. We also have the Adventure above the clouds chapters where they talk about ther lifes in 50 years in the future and how they'll be together still relying on each other. In Dawnbreaker's anecdotes, MC gets to celebrate Zayne's birthday with him and tells him that from now on, she'll always celebrate his birthday with him.

It feels like they're starting to look into the future a little too much, like making promises too soon, it feels too perfect... as if something bad is about to happen and rob us from that bright future, you know?

Do you know who made promises before a tragedy?

I've been thinking about this since I finished Hidden Motive cause... my first thought was... Now what can top this? A lot of us got really surprised by Zayne's card cause the spice was unexpected and I think it's needless to say this, but even the kindle felt a bit different from what we are used to see normally, even some ppl said the kindle was a bit longer than normal. Why would they feed us so much good/emotional/intense content of Zayne lately? And how are they going to keep it up? My brain tells me that something sexual being released too soon after this might feel repetitive so in order to create a bigger impact after this they'll resort to angst. I don't think they'll make Zayne's bday event sad, however, they also announced that more main story branches are going to be added from September to December and Zayne's probably gonna be the first to return, since he was the first one to disappear from the main story.

I just can't help thinking about this, I have this bad feeling that I hope is just my stupid brain overthinking and that we will have happy sweet memories with Zayne from now on even tho the story seems to keep hinting that something bad is going to happen, ugh.

Anyway, sorry for my rant, I actually have a lot of thoughts about this card that I don't know if I'll get to write cause I've been really busy with work lately, however I wanted to at least get this out of my chest.

[n0tamused]

A/n: I sort of strayed a little with this one I feel like, but thank you sm for the request, and I hope you enjoy this!

Contents: Mortefi x GN!Reader, jealous reader, reader is very stubborn I must say, not proof-read. lemme know what you think!

Words: 3059

It’s suffocating. Uncomfortably warm and slimy. This feeling that roils within your chest and throat, you’re sure you’re about to start feeling sick from the thoughts spiraling within your mind. And the lab papers in front of you and the endless sound of the machine’s beeping is not enough to distract you.

Beep-beep-beep.

Have you done something wrong? What could it be? Only minutes prior were you looking at these papers with some sense of pride, imagination running wild with the possible outcomes of this hypothesis, positive ones. Yet, they were so easily shattered when Mortefi breezed by, catching a glimpse of the words printed on top, leaving several comments of where you could improve - how you should improve if you want to go through with this. Had you had a clear mind you would’ve done as he said, taken his words as helpful advice and not as an attack on your work. But his tone remained the same as always, it didn’t soften nor did it grow warm. So it made you wonder what he meant, or rather - what he really felt towards you. The latter was a question that occupied your mind for a long time.

He moved past you to the center of the lab, nearing one of the many lit computers, just where Baizhi stood. From afar you could see them greet one another and begin to talk. And that feeling in your chest only expanded further, pawing at your ribs and making you frown at the helplessness. Mortefi looked interested in whatever their topic of conversation was, and it lasted some odd few minutes. Odd minutes you couldn’t keep your focus until both of them left to their own stations, and far out of your sight. 

A heavy breath fell from you, irritated but also… sad. 

With your mind in a strewn about yarn, threads hanging, you began to think if this work was even worthy for you. God knew you wanted it, you signed up for it, you spent nights studying and working to be better and get better than that but all that effort seemed to fall short and small within Baizhi’s shadow. And you don’t even blame her, she is excellent in her work, you don’t hate her. But you’d give a questionable amount of things to have a fraction of that sweet attention Mortefi was giving her. Perhaps you were being unreasonable, irrational - and you don’t argue with it - you’re seeing green and red everywhere, and with hasty hands you collect your papers after making small adjustments, crossing out lines of text and noting down new words. And moments later you’re off to another part of the Academy, away from Mortefi and Baizhi.

What little glimpse Mortefi caught of you as you left shows disappointment and, and in the way you held yourself he saw traces of turmoil that he didn’t fully understand from that one look. He remained at his station, engrossed in his research and unaware of the burden you carried in your heart. 

It wasn’t until the time for your report came and went. And when your break time came and went. And you were nowhere in sight.

That made an odd feeling settle in his chest, a vibration of an unknown bass playing amidst the bones of his ribcage, waves of it washing up to his neck. Unable to ignore it any longer, he bid farewell to his station for the time being, one hand buried in the pocket of his lab coat, playing with the lighter. Flick..flick..

There was not one spot in this wide and vast Academy that you could hide from him, not when he wasn’t particularly looking for you and even more so when he was specifically looking for you. He could spot you in a crowd by one lone look, to him you stood out like a flower amidst grass, how could he overlook you? Following the path familiar to him, he comes into a lab room smaller in contrast than the others, hidden away from the hustle and bustle of the center room and the halls. It is clean, it is comfortable. His eyes land on your back, your nose buried in your papers, your hands hastily fiddling with the apparatus in front of you. You barely acknowledged his presence.

As if to avoid startling you, Mortefi clears his throat, but he fails and watches as you flinch at the sudden disturbance. 

“Mortefi? Uh- What are you doing here? Did you need me?” the questions tumble out from your mouth out of habit rather than genuine curiosity. You turned to face him, brows lightly knit together and eyes regarding him with a mix of feelings and inquiries. 

“I grew curious as to where you vanished off to. Has your research been so indulgent that you forgot to eat or report in? It’s been 3 hours and some odd minutes since you began on this project this morning” he began, the nail on his thumb grazing underneath the lid of his lighter within his pocket, keeping still, yet tense in his hand. His sharp gaze moves from your eyes and down to the table you were working at, noting the sharpie marks across your paper and thinner lines from your pen, and giving a small nod at them he said: “You made those adjustments I told you about, I trust”

This pulls your attention from him and at the papers, and taking his words as some sign to move freely you begin to stack pages back on top of another. “Yes. I made the necessary changes to it all. I just need to put it all into practice and, hopefully, get the results I want” you respond, clearing your parched throat. His gaze is intense, you can feel it at the back of your head like two sharp points of a stick. 

“You’ve been pushing yourself today, unnecessarily so. I sense some growing frustration from you” he says, leaving the topic open ended, expecting you to explain yourself, but where do you even begin without looking like a fool? Like a child? 

You sigh, looking around the table yet searching for nothing as you shrug your shoulders. “No, no.. I just haven't been sleeping too well lately, and it seems that all is catching up to me” you offer a empty excuse, before reaching for a blank sheet of paper, a part of you yearning to keep him here, and the other wishing him to leave you with your own emotional burdens. “If a report is what you need, I can only offer what I have from the experiment thus far, but it is not concluded, I apologize”

“Ah, yes.. sleep. One thing that is most underestimated in its importance” he mused out loud, tone flat and ignoring your latter statement for a moment too long. He was pressing deeper into the crux of the matter, not letting you shift the topic too easily. “The report for an unfinished work will not be necessary, it’s much more preferable if you take a bit longer to get end results than to hand over a half-baked product”, he sighed, pushing his golden rimmed glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “Your dedication is admirable, but we can hardly expect progress if you're operating on insufficient rest and mental fatigue”.

You have to stop yourself from either chuckling or spinning around to stare at him as if he was speaking backwards. But no matter what you tried, you couldn’t stop your heart from hammering in your chest.

“Perhaps you should have Baizhi take a look at you. She can prescribe you some soothing medication to help you sleep. But as for work.. You’re done for today” he stated plainly, looking to the side and barely missing your shocked eyes.

“What? Are you dismissing me?” you blurted out, suddenly afraid you have done something wrong or that you offended him in some capacity. He’d never send you home, especially not when you were in the midst of a project. 

“It's not a matter of dismissiveness, but rather a practical decision. If your exhaustion is hindering your ability to perform optimally, what benefit is there in insisting on your presence here?” he replied, his tone cool and detached. You blink at him owlishly, confused and, quite frankly, afraid. Previous anger, sadness and jealousy all melting away from your bones like wax over a flame. The flame being Mortefi himself. An eternal blaze that swallowed everything in its wake. You were wondering how it didn’t engulf you by now.

But in that thought alone you missed the point of it all. His flames didn’t touch you, didn’t scorn you because he willed them that way. The warmth of them kept you warm, kept you alive, kept you in this field and as his coworker, a place most others wouldn’t be able to handle. He would soften it all if he knew how, to show you he cares.

Sensing a shift in your emotions, Mortefi softened his gaze, a subtle nod of understanding replacing the usual aloofness he carried. He saw the confusion and fear in your eyes, and it pained him that he had inadvertently caused it. He knew that his words could often come across as cold and dismissive, but it was never his intention to harm or offend.

“Rest is not a punishment, but a necessary part of the work process. To push oneself to the point of exhaustion is unproductive. It only inhibits progress. Trust me when I tell you this."

Softness is undeniably present in his voice now, and your mind goes blank. Your mind was still stuck on this morning, on your project, but here he was breaking all illusions and thoughts by simply being kind. 

“I can’t say I don’t appreciate your concern, but..” you look up at his eyes only to find a scowl curling the corners of his lips, and you sigh again, looking away in embarrassment. “I can’t argue with you either, can I?”

“No, you cannot. Now, go pack up what you have. I’ll go contact Baizhi and see if she can get a check up on you before you leave”

“No, no, that won’t be necessary..” you wave your hands before you, shaking your head simultaneously to deny the offer with your entire being. “I already have some tea at home that can help me with this, no need for a check up. I insist” you try, but only get a cocked brow from Mortefi, you can already tell what he’s thinking. 

“Tea alone cannot be sufficient in treating issues related to poor sleep. Besides, it goes without saying Baizhi is well versed in medicine, and her prior check-ups of your health have been of great help to you, have they not? If tea was that simple of medicine, why have you not seen improvement?” he shot back sharply and you grew quiet, not wishing to prolong this argument further, but staying silent wouldn’t be the way to go either.

“I don’t want to see Baizhi right now” you said plainly, tone low and softened involuntarily. Your reply was met with a skeptical look, Mortefi’s head tilted in question. “And why not? Do I need to pull you to her office myself? You’re not a child, (Y/n)” he countered, not low on his arsenal of words and snappy remarks. He approached you closer, closing the distance between the two of you until he could peer into your avoidant eyes, making your heart skip a beat.

“I just.. Mortefi, I don’t know. I don’t want to see Baizhi and that’s final. Don’t make me go see her. I’ve seen enough of you two this morning” It slipped from your mouth sooner than you could pull it back, and immediately you regretted your choice of words, cursing the ability to speak. “Uh-”

Mortefi froze in his tracks, his sharp eyes widening subtly in surprise. The mention of Baizhi and himself seemed to strike a chord in him, and his stoic façade cracked just enough to betray a hint of confusion. “Hm? Have we done something to offend you to this degree of avoidance? I wasn’t aware of any discomfort inflicted upon you” he knitted his brows, looking at you for answers, his turn to feel on edge now. Were you implying he was acting out of line with Baizhi? He knew of how he behaved around others and he saw no flaws in his dealings with other colleagues, so it all left him in a more twisted maze. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat, lips pressing into a thin line. “Mortefi- no. You haven’t done anything to offend me, I am not offended. I just.. uh.. No, it’s all too silly. I just meant that you two just seem to be too busy with your shared workload, and I just got tired of seeing it all” It’s a badly written lie, and the truth is bleeding through the cracks in neon colors. You’re cringing at yourself, really.. The lies you were uttering, however poorly woven, were evident in the way your face creased. He could almost hear your thoughts, almost see the jealousy and insecurity that plagued you through the lies you were trying to hide behind.

He paused for a moment, considering the situation carefully, before responding. "Is it really about our workloads, or is there something else that you're not telling me?" He asked calmly, his voice low and measured.

A pregnant pause befell your ears, only being interrupted by a distant hum of a machine outside of the room, and the footsteps of other workers in the halls. He does not push you to answer swiftly, instead he waits, patient as ever with you.

“I suppose…”

“You suppose..?”

It’d be a lie to say he wasn’t taut as a bowstring, ready to hear you out, anticipating your reply. His heart was squeezing painfully in his chest.

“Ugh..I just.. Promise me you will not be angry at me, and that you will not think ill of me after I tell you?” 

“Well, this must be big if you’re asking that of me” he breathed out. Your hesitation was palpable, and the silence between them dragged on, only adding to the palpable tension. Finally, the words came, and he felt a strange mixture of anticipation and trepidation.

“I'll promise no such thing will come from me. Your words cannot change the way I feel about you” he replied, his voice tinged with a touch of irritation.

With a heavy breath you closed in on yourself, arms folded over your chest. “I was just.. watching how close you and Baizhi are this morning and for a long time now. You always spend so much time together, and despite you and I being direct coworkers and more than that outside of this Academy, I feel.. left behind”

“You are jealous?”

“If you wish to put it that bluntly - then yes. I am”

Mortefi’s coldness and stiffness seemed to melt, the answer finally clearing up the brain fog that had started to develop in his head. Things were looking clearer at long last, and with that he also felt as if he failed you. He has failed to make you feel appreciated as you deserved, and that makes his gut twist in on itself.

“I fail to see why you’d be jealous of Baizhi, even with the time we spent together. Baizhi and I are strictly work colleagues and nothing more. You are the one that gets to be in my presence, sharing stories and desserts after work hours..” Mortefi says out loud, moreso speaking to himself than you, as if trying to figure out your point of view. He wasn’t dismissing your emotions, but he failed to grasp them within his own two hands. He had been so preoccupied with his own work and responsibilities that he had failed to notice the toll it was taking on his relationship with you. His focus had been so singularly on his research, on his partnership with Baizhi, that he had unintentionally neglected the depth of the connection he had with you.

“I do have to apologize” he cuts you off before you can speak. “This.. area is not within my expertise, per se. If I had neglected you, I would’ve liked if you openly communicated this with myself” he offered, and the lighter in his hand feels like it will break apart under pressure.  “And while I can’t limit my time with Baizhi, as it is all just work, I can accommodate you as well by spending more time with or around you, if that will help you feel more.. at ease” 

There is clarity ringing its bell over your head as he speaks, already offering solutions to this problem you made out of irrational thought. Bless his heart, for all he is cold and aloof he is ten times more kind. Snappy as he is, he means well.

“Mortefi... Mortefi, I am sorry too. I did want to keep this with myself, it shouldn’t have come to this point where you try to resolve my issues by yourself”

At that he scoffed, almost chuckling but no laughter came from him. One hand perches itself on his hip and he looks at you with a look that screams of his desire to see this through. 

“Oh, but how can I ignore it now that it is in front of me? No, that will not do. Especially since it is you who we’re talking about. You go ahead now, I’ll think of something until the end of my shift. I’ll give you a call later this evening”

Afterwards your company would leave his presence and the lab, having left with more reason than conflict, and with a mind full anticipation of his words.

And just like clockwork, by the end of his shift he’d give you a call, telling you to come meet him at your favorite dessert place. 

Mortefi is special in his way of showing affection..

He is yet to learn his way with words when it comes to sweet nothings, but until then he can take care of you and help you out with work. Whatever helps you see that you, indeed, do matter much to him. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

Tags: @pinksaiyans

[genderkoolaid]

We don't have good statistics or estimates for the population size of transmasculine sex workers. Part of that is a lack of data on sex workers in general, but part of it is that trans men are often not visibly trans when they participate in sex work. A lot of the trans men and transmasculine people who sell sex do so under a female persona. The escorting profile of a trans man might be indistinguishable from the profile of a cis woman – intentionally on his part – to attract as many clients as possible. This means that in practice, this segment of the transmasculine population are recorded as cis women. If we were to assume the population of trans men selling sex was accurately reflected by the profiles visible on escorting sites, we would likely come to the conclusion that trans men are a tiny group within sex work. The reality is that even openly trans men are much more likely to engage in more informal kinds of sex work, such as on apps like Grindr or with people they meet and in social spaces, just like cis gay men who sell sex. The transmasculine people who claim to be cis women whilst working do share needs with cis women who sell sex, but such resources do not serve all the needs of those hidden trans people. Trans men who are not socially or medically transitioning are driven to sell sex by the same forces which push women to sell sex, with the added pressure of saving money towards transition care and the certainty that they will not be able to sell sex under a female persona forever. Their clientele are also much more likely to shift towards gay and bi men when they do come out, which will change the experiences they have at work and may change their health concerns. [...] [...] So on what basis do I assume the real numbers are so much higher than the few ads we can find online? The impetus for my initial wondering was prompted by the fact I sold sex for many years before I even came out to myself as trans. And I continued to work under a cis female persona until I had been on testosterone for several months. I’m not arrogant enough to think I’m an exceptional case, so I kept an eye out for others like me.  As I began to speak about my experiences in sex worker group chats, on social media, and in meetings with advocacy organisations, I began to hear from many others in the same situation. Every time I speak up, I hear from more trans men and non-binary people who are hidden. No advocacy group is going to find these people unless they identify themselves this way, and transmasculine people are unlikely to do that when an organisation is explicitly geared towards women. I’ve heard from more trans men working under female personas than the total number of openly out trans men advertising across all of the escorting sites I use. I’ve never explicitly asked anyone if they have this experience – they’ve all come to me. And with every story I hear there’s a common thread: they want to medically transition, but fear losing their entire income when they do. Top surgery is a definitive end to being able to work as a cis woman for most, but even testosterone alone can be prohibitive given enough time. By three months on testosterone, clients were beginning to suggest I was a trans woman who’d had genital surgery, and were much more violent with me. This kind of violence rooted in transmisogyny won’t be everyone’s experience, but it happens.

Also, for those interested, check out Jack Parker's Transmasculine Guide to Sex Work

[jordanianroyals]

Close-up of Rajwa Al Saif's henna party outfit on 22 May 2023. The dress, by Saudi designer Honayda Serafi, took more than 2,000 hours to create, and includes several hidden messages of love, Vogue Arabia reports.

“Crafted by Saudi designer Honayda Serafi, Al-Saif’s henna dress is a vision in white and gold. The future queen of Jordan celebrated with family and friends in a look that takes inspiration from the traditional Najdi dress, known as Sahabi thoub, which originates from the Najd region of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Keeping in mind the occasion and the family, Serafi made sure to combine the cultural beauty of the Hashemite kingdom of Jordan and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia to celebrate the union of Rajwa and Prince Hussein beautifully.

Featuring a handcrafted veil and dress, Rajwa Al-Saif’s pristine white henna outfit comes doused in 3D ornaments, made using a mix of silk, metallic threads and traditional reed strings (a signature element of Najdi embroidery). To create this masterpiece, Honayda Serafi took cues from the bride’s personality, attempting to reflect her innate grace, the rich traditions of her land, and her contemporary spirit.

Look closely, and you’ll notice that Al-Saif’s gown is replete with lovingly made details. Featuring a high round neck and full sleeves, the crepe gown features an inverted triangle-shaped bodice that is inspired by the traditional Najdi bodice design, normally worn as a separate piece. As the body-skimming gown continues, it flares out towards the ankles to create a mermaid-esque shape. The bodice of the gown is elevated using embroidery: soft organza flowers share space with geometric shapes and Arabic motifs, all of which are typical to Saudi Arabia and reflect the beauty and traditions of the bride’s homeland.

Rajwa Al-Saif’s veil has also been embroidered with meaningful designs, making this piece so personal to her journey. Seven Jordanian stars adorn her veil to signify the seven-pointed star that sits proudly on the Jordanian flag. What makes this symbol even more special is its religious meaning: The star on the Jordan flag signifies the seven verses in the opening chapter of the Holy Qur’an, and the seven mountains of Amman.

Along with the stars, the veil also features intricate palm trees as a reference to Saudi Arabia, and even some poetry. The words “I see you, and life becomes more beautiful” have been embroidered into Al-Saif’s veil, from Tunisian poet Abu al-Qasim al-Shabi, known for his Andalusian notes. If you’re a fan of Rajwa Al-Saif’s elegant wardrobe, you may already know that the bride-to-be has a soft spot for special symbols when it comes to her clothing. Back in August 2022, when Rajwa was officially engaged to Prince Hussein, she also commemorated the occasion with her clothing—an abaya that was embroidered with two gold birds, symbolizing two souls in love.”

The veil took 760 hours to complete

An exquisite piece of couture requires hours of effort, and Rajwa Al-Saif’s henna outfit is no different. According to the designer, Al-Saif’s veil took 760 hours to complete, and was worked on by a team of experts, craftsman and women. Extending to 10 meters, the piece was made using handcrafted tulle, a process that normally takes close to 2,000 hours of work. As for her billowing gown, the creation is the result of 340 hours of work.

Honayda Serafi: “I am very proud and honored to be part of this historic union”

Speaking on the occasion, Serafi shared, “I am very proud and honored to be part of this historic union between His Royal Highness, Crown Prince Al Hussein bin Abdullah II of the honorable Hashemite family, and Miss Rajwa Khalid Alseif. May they be blessed with happiness and their union be crowned with success.” (x)

[isagrimorie]

It’s always frustrating whenever the BAU tackles a case where either the victimology or UnSub has similarities to Prentiss’s background/upbringing but the writers rarely use it to give insights on Prentiss or have Prentiss’s background provide some insights into a case.

As an example, The Performer is an episode featuring Gavin Rossdale as a rockstar whose kayfabe was being a Vampire ala Lestat but fake.

The show could have dove a little into the goth community, a community Emily Prentiss used to be a part of. Did they do that? Unfortunately, no, they hung a lantern on it. The writers had Penelope tease Emily about how she used to dress Goth. Even though, Emily still dressed like one but corporate style.

In the episode, Pleasure is My Business. The UnSub grew up around wealth and privilege and then used sex work to lure her victims.

We discover in Lauren that Prentiss was in a similar enough situation re: Operation Valhalla.

Ala The Americans show, Prentiss used intimacy to get close to Ian Doyle.

Emily Prentiss became Lauren Reynolds because she matched Doyle’s type.

I know the writers had a vague idea of Prentiss’ past only that the writers had breadcrumbs pointing to a rich, mysterious past. They don’t have a crystal ball, but the privileged background could have been a jumping off point for a discussion, an insight to the UnSub’s thoughts.

In the season 16 episode, Orpheus Wrecks, the writers could have again used that case as a way to get more insight into Prentiss’ hidden personal life. As a Politician’s kid, and a somewhat savvy political operator herself, Prentiss would have been as familiar, if more, to the DC wonk space as Bailey was.

Prentiss would also be familiar with the Beltway Elite app even if she didn’t use it herself.

(As a former Spook, the idea of having an app like that in her phone would give Prentiss OpSec paranoia. She would not want her photo distributed everywhere. Being on Politico was enough of a headache for her tbh).

I know Prentiss’ whole thing is she wanted to distance herself from her mother’s political life but she would still have friends and would have known more people as she climbed up the ladder in the FBI.

Other shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Elementary, and Person of Interest almost always use a kernel of similarity/parallelism in their various cases of the week as a jumping-off point to tell a richer story about their characters.

Criminal Minds does but selectively.

This is what makes the show frustrating. You can always tell when the show could have threaded the Case/Monster of the Week and connected the case to one of the characters.

Morgan and JJ also needed more exploration. The only one the writers they consistently use this with is Reid.

To the writer’s credit they have vaguely gestured at Emily’s mysterious past— setting up Emily’s existential crisis about her morality in the face of what she’s done while she worked for CIA and JTF-12.

But then the show goes several episodes mentioning the problem, an arc villain, and it’s frustrating!

(I sometimes lowkey wish some Whedon trained writers joined Criminal Minds to establish a good character-to-case ratio. Like, Jane Espenson. Or someone from Person of Interest writers room joining the Evolution writers team. The idea of Denise Thé writing for the CM ladies makes me yearn because delicious character development + inventive messed up twists. Erica Messer does a good job showrunning— a different job altogether than just writing for the show. But also— I yearn! Think about a POI caliber writer in a CM writers room! It would be so good to have, IMO. Not that PoI was entirely perfect either, I have my frustrations too!)

——

Chris Mundy seemed interested in delving into the internal lives of the characters, especially Emily’s. Demonology was really important for our understanding of Emily Prentiss.

Her guilt, her low-key self-loathing— the way she runs from the people she loves because she thinks she’s not worth it. The way she can conform to be anyone to fit into a situation and not stand out.

Her casual regard for sex as a tool to help her get accepted. All things that were helpful for Prentiss when she became a spy.

As Michael Westen from Burn Notice said: “People with happy families don’t become spies. A bad childhood is the perfect background for covert ops.”

TLDR— It’s just frustrating because they’re always nearly at the cusp of a great character driven procedural but then almost always back off from giving us really good food.

[electronickingdomfox]

"Mindshadow" review

One of these days, Spock will do the logical thing and get an all-risk insurance for his brain...

Novel from 1986, by J. M. Dillard. Okay, this story is quite messy, as it tries to put together a pastiche of plot threads and themes that may or may not be that cohesive. It borrows heavily from TOS episodes, from The Enterprise Incident to Journey to Babel (even a bit from Wolf in the Fold). There are definitely a few plot holes and some silliness. The espionage/murder plot is sometimes too convoluted to follow. Also, some names look like typos: Transporter technician "Lyle"? (I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be Kyle), the penal colony of "Ebla Two"? (should have been Elba Two), "Chekhov"????... In terms of absurdity, it's similar to that other novel, "Black Fire" (and yes, there's even a pirate Spock in here too). But just as it happened with that book... I actually liked this one as well. It's a glorious mess, alright.

The most serious (and somber) thread is that of Spock receiving brain damage, and his struggles to recover his memories and Vulcan mental disciplines. The abuse he suffers from medical malpractice, his frustration with his impaired learning, his loving (and sometimes painful) relationship with his family, or Uhura's tender attempts to help him through music... Those elements have probably the greatest emotional impact in the novel, and are actually pretty good in themselves. This is also, at core, a "triumvirate" novel, with strong character drama between Kirk, Spock and McCoy, and a focus on their closeness.

On the other hand, there's another, more ridiculous drama: both Kirk and McCoy fall in love with the same Mary Sue, and hilarity tragedy ensues. For his part, Kirk seems pretty callous in his seduction of this woman, as he doesn't even like her all that much; at times, it almost looks as if he just wanted to piss McCoy off (isn't there really ANY other woman available for him!?). While McCoy, who truly loves the Mary Sue, ends up looking incredibly pitiful, desperate and, well, downright pathetic. However, out-of-character as it is, I ended up getting some guilty pleasure from all of it, as in "Let's see Kirk's next shitty move and what happens next..." Anyway, even though the woman likes the two of them, she ends up realizing they're both just too gay for Spock, to the surprise of nobody.

Spoilers under the cut:

The planet Aritani has suffered recent raids from cloaked vessels, so Kirk is negotiating with the natives to offer Federation help against the attacks, despite the natives’ reticence towards technology. They erect a shield around the planet to prevent the fighter ships entering the atmosphere, or trap below it those that may be cloaked right now. Then Spock goes alone to investigate the nearby mountains, since he found valuable minerals that could be the objective of the raiders. However, when Spock is late to report, Kirk goes after him… And finds out he has fallen off a cliff and has gravely injured his head. McCoy’s assessment is that Spock has suffered extensive damage to the left hemisphere, so his logic, language and memory will be impaired, and the doctor has many doubts about his eventual recovery; they’d need a neuropsychologist specialized on Vulcans.

Meanwhile, Kirk authorizes shore leave on the surface of Aritani, as several hours have passed without sighting any fighter (the reasoning being that, by now, they’d have run out of fuel to keep their cloaks up). Well, if you ask me, I don’t think it’s the most appropiate time and place for shore leave; and sure enough, a little while later a group of enemy vessels appears out of nowhere and starts attacking the crew on leave. Kirk and Scott can’t understand how that’s possible, and only see two options: either the fighters have an improved cloaking device that allows them to stay hidden for longer, or they somehow managed to penetrate the shields. Actually, there’s a third option, which they never even consider: they’ve been beaming people down to the planet for shore leave! That means they’ve been lowering the shields ALL THE TIME!! Duh… Kirk is having the worst day of his life, and on top of that, the Aritanians refuse further help from Starfleet, after their failure to protect them. Kirk’s orders, however, are to stay in the vicinity.

In sickbay, Uhura comes to visit an injured friend and starts singing for him. Then, upon hearing the music, Spock finally shows some reaction, and is capable of calling her name and asking for songs, as his right hemisphere (supposedly associated with emotions and art) is intact. During the following days, Spock will make some progress thanks to Uhura’s company. Apart from that, a new neuropsychologist is assigned to the Enterprise to study Spock’s case: Dr. Mary Sue Emma Saenz. Five minutes later, both McCoy and Kirk fall head over heels for her (to the point that McCoy is jealous even when Kirk says “Hello” to her). Emma also shows an unusual physical strength when she beats Kirk in their combat trainings. Nonetheless, it turns out that Emma… is actually Dr. Evil!Mary Sue!! She forces a mind-meld with Spock while alone with him, and extracts some important information about what he saw in Aritani, before erasing his memory of the meld. Her diagnostic is that Spock will probably recover in the areas of language and amnesia. But he has lost the Vulcan mind rules to shield himself away from others’ emotions, which he can now receive telepathically at all times. This could turn him into a violent individual, and Emma suggests restraints and an experimental medication: neodopazine.

In the bridge, Chekov manages to locate a decloaked enemy vessel, and they capture it with a tractor beam along one of the pirates. The raider turns out to be Romulan, but he denies the existence of any special device to penetrate shields, and Scotty doesn’t find anything of the like upon dismantling the fighter. Kirk was about to interrogate the prisoner, when they discover he’s been vaporized. Someone stunned the guard, then removed the brig force field and killed the prisoner, trying to make it look like a suicide. Security doesn’t have a clue about the killer (though the reader certainly can suspect who is it…). If this wasn’t enough, Spock is found in bed with his wrists sliced, as if he had also attempted suicide. Spock denies having done so, and says someone tried to murder him, but he doesn’t remember who. Emma is furious and gaslights Spock, saying he’s imagining murderers to cover up his suicide attempt. McCoy, however, takes Spock’s side and has a violent discussion with Emma, who ends up admitting she just wants to help Spock. Of course, the situation is very romantic, so they kiss. Later that night, Kirk is having trouble to sleep (no wonder) and goes to McCoy’s cabin for some pills (you see, he can’t go to sickbay, no; if he doesn’t sleep, then McCoy can’t either). Then Kirk finds out that McCoy is… sleeping with Emma!! Kirk doesn’t like that.

Since Spock believes his only option of recovering the mind rules is returning to Vulcan, he’s sent there in a shuttle with Scotty and Chapel. The shuttle has been sabotaged, and they crash land on Vulcan, though just with minor injuries. Spock is fine, so he leaves Scotty with Chapel at the hospital, and walks to his home town on foot. During the following weeks, he will stay at his parents’ home, trying to relearn the Vulcan disciplines with a Kolinahr master. His progress is really slow, though, and with mounting frustration, he realizes the neodopazine, far from helping, seems to be deteriorating his mind. Spock also meets T'Pala, a girl who's staying with his parents while she studies to enter the Vulcan Diplomatic Corps. T'Pala has many things in common with Spock: she's also half human, and has difficulty adapting to Vulcan life (even moreso than Spock, since she grew up in Earth). Sarek's disappointment with her is a mirror for Spock's own youth.

In the Enterprise, Scotty is put in the brig as the main suspect for the Romulan's murder (of course, he's later cleared of charges). For his part, Kirk hurts his shoulder while training with Emma. She takes him to her quarters to treat the injury, gives him an analgesic, and then they kiss. McCoy waits for Emma the whole evening, grows increasingly suspicious, and finally sees her leaving Kirk's cabin. After that, he mopes for a couple of days, until Kirk visits him with a bottle of moonshine ("here, I stole your girlfriend, but you can get drunk with this..."). Kirk, however, says he doesn't remember what he did with Emma. And Emma confirms that Kirk just passed out because of the analgesic; she's attracted to Kirk and kissed him, but nothing else happened. McCoy is happy with this (he doesn't ask for much, right?) and suddenly he's like "Hey, you slept with me a couple of times. Where's my wedding ring!? I'm a decent boy!". Emma says she'll leave soon, so no, no wedding...

After this, the Enterprise is tasked with bringing a bunch of ambassadors to Vulcan, to discuss the acceptance of Aritani into the Federation. This part is a bit dull and drags too much, in my opinion. During the journey, more suspicious incidents take place: one ambassador is killed, another is badly hurt, and an explosion leaves the Enterprise without warp drive. It seems someone doesn't want Aritani to join the Federation. Then, Kirk discovers that Emma has been making unauthorized transmissions, but she assures him she's been working for Starfleet Intelligence all this time. An Admiral confirms this point, so Kirk is satisfied.

Back in Vulcan, Spock has stopped taking the neodopazine, and experiments a clear improvement. Finally, he's able to recover the mind rules, and his memories from Aritani return to him in dreams. There was something really important he needed to tell Kirk, and now that the Enterprise is near Vulcan, Spock opens a transmission to the ship. But just before he can say anything, an assassin breaks into his house, injures Sarek, and tries to slice Spock's wrists again. He wants to make it look as Spock murdering Sarek, then killing himself. T'Pala intervenes at the last moment, vaporizing the assassin with a phaser. Then, she confesses that Romulans approached her to leak info about Spock, but she couldn't comply with their murderous plans. Having failed at entering the Diplomatic Corps, T'Pala doesn't have much more to live for, and she kills herself too.

Sarek and Spock recover in a hospital from the attack. And Kirk and McCoy band together against Emma to go visit him. Then Spock tells everything. What he saw at Aritani was some fighter vessels beaming up from below the earth, where the Romulans must have an underground base (that's why the atmospheric shield was useless). Knowing that they'd kill him, Spock decided to escape by jumping from the cliff, where he damaged his head. Much to McCoy's surprise, Spock also shows him a medical article written by Emma, explaining all the damaging effects of neodopazine in Vulcan brains. McCoy confronts Emma about the use of such dangerous drug on Spock, just when she was leaving for her next assignment. But she stuns him (and a bunch of other people) and escapes the ship, confirming their suspicions.

In the last part, the Enterprise returns to Aritani to destroy the Romulan base once and for all. Kirk gets again that surgery to look Romulan (as in The Enterprise Incident) and infiltrates the compound with Spock (who's dressed as a Romulan pirate, while McCoy wants to pierce his ear). However, they're captured by a Romulan officer, that Kirk recognizes as Emma. Her real name is Tanirius, and actually, she wasn't Evil!Mary Sue at all. She just carried out the Praetor's orders as a cover-up, all the while working for Starfleet and a group of Romulan rebels, to destroy the underground base. She gave Spock the neodopazine to avoid killing him, once she understood how important he was for McCoy and Kirk. This plot twist really took me by surprise, but that's in part because... well, it doesn't make much sense. You know, despite the novel trying to present Emma as eventually good, she's just not! Not only did she try to kill Spock SEVERAL times, but she was far more efficient at carrying out the Romulans' plans than what was strictly necessary!! (whatever, maybe she was just jealous of Spock). Emma helps them to deactivate the cloaking device of the base, and then stays behind to destroy it whole. Kirk and Spock beam up to the Enterprise in time, while an underground explosion shakes the planet. In the aftermath, Aritani accepts the Federation's help, now that they're free of Romulans. And Spock tries to console McCoy saying that some vessels fled the base in time, and Emma could be among the survivors. Kirk sees through his bullshit, though, and wonders if Spock is just lying because he also has affection for McCoy, much to Spock's indignation.

McSpirk Meter: 9/10*. The Kirk/Spock angle is more evident. When Spock is injured, Kirk just can't think about anything else. He goes constantly to sickbay to check his state, argues with McCoy, is irritable with everyone and everything... Kirk even tries to reach the catatonic Spock through a mind link, to no avail. And once he gets a replacement First Officer, Kirk is unreasonably hostile to him, just because he's not Spock. It's also said several times that Kirk is the person that knows Spock better in the entire world. Another remarkable scene happens when Spock is leaving for Vulcan. Spock can feel Jim's emotions and pain at his departure, and his repressed impulse to touch him, so Spock relents and takes his hand. As for McCoy, his care for Spock comes rather as medical concern, but Emma sees through him quite early. She says he's too emotionally involved with the patient to be of any help. And despite the fact they're in a relationship, it seems that all of McCoy and Emma's conversations revolve around Spock, which causes continous tensions between them. At one point, she states the facts clearly: "I have risked myself for your friend because you loved him". Effectively, the reason she gives for not killing Spock outright, is that McCoy and Kirk cared about him too much. The ending lines have Kirk reminding Spock of this fact, and wondering if Spock also returns McCoy's affections.

Apart from this, there's a certain tension between Kirk and McCoy. Before the whole problem with Emma begins, they're reminiscing their shore-leaves together, and McCoy is said to grin lasciviously at Jim. Also, when Emma tells Kirk that she and McCoy are having dinner together, McCoy starts blushing, and doesn't understand why such a simple statement embarrasses him so much. Later, Kirk comes to McCoy's cabin in the middle of the night, and finds him basically naked (wearing just a short tunic), which almost prompts a sarcastic whistle from him. He attempts to enter the cabin (you know, with naked Bones in there and all) and feels offended when the doctor doesn't let him come inside. At last, after they reconcile, McCoy comments that Kirk looks dashing in his Romulan pirate uniform. There's also something in Kirk's behavior about Emma, that almost seems like a disgruntled ex trying to ruin the doctor's new relationship. After all, Kirk doesn't even find Emma all that attractive at first.

[girlballs]

Why don't you like ds3? I think most people, including myself, really like it.

i mean. for one thing i kinda don't like how linear the critical path is compared to DS2 (having Archdragon Peak as a fairly large hidden area was nice though), and the change from spell slots to FP without keeping consumable FP regeneration items around like in Demon's's S'ouls sucked complete ass and keeping that system for ER was one of the worst decisions they made for that game

but also. it's kinda just obvious that fromsoft didn't really want to make it? taken as a whole (base game + both DLCs) narratively there's a thread of "you shouldn't force a thing to stick around longer than it needs to" which really feels like a meta commentary on them being contractually obligated to make the two sequels- DS2 at least got creative with things but then they backpedaled severely with DS3, mechanically and narratively (a fun and lethal drinking game is to take a shot every time DS3 makes an explicit callback to DS1) and basically ignored all of the plot of DS2 in the process.

like there's Parts of DS3 i like but as a whole i think it's worse than DS2. i wish they hadn't used it as the foundation for Elden Ring and allowed themselves to take more inspiration from Bloodborne and Sekiro

[juno-of-wonderland]

Monster au: Lord of Thorns route ending 2 (part 1)

list tag: @112-darling, @rain112-darling, @callmedarling112, @mushroomfrog203

You look at the outstretched hand, a part of you wants to go with him, because you know he will protect you and another is afraid of what this decision will cause in your life. Fear overcomes your judgment and you don't hold its hand. “I’m sorry Tetsunotaro, I’m so sorry” you say, your voice nothing more than a whisper. His hand slowly moves away, falling to his side, he looks at you with a sad expression. “I…I understand, can I still see you?” Draconia asked “Of course, but you'll have to find me first, that mansion is out of the question for, well, obvious reasons” you finish your sentence with a laugh, which made him smile. “Stay safe” were his last words before he disappeared in green glows. You felt a pang in your heart, that hidden pain that you knew well was on his face. Guilt filled you, you know he would never hurt you… right? You begin to wander aimlessly through the forest at night, the sound of insects and dry leaves in the wind being your companion, but you are startled by a new sound. A pain pricks in your neck and everything goes black. ……… Your vision was blurry when you woke up, an extreme headache along with dizziness, you tried to move your hands and the noise of chains became present. You blinked in confusion several times before absorbing the entire situation, you were sitting in a chair, your wrists and ankles tied to chains, it didn't seem to be steel, but pure silver bathed in something. The room was dimly lit, just two torches on opposite sides of the wall. Terror and adrenaline run through your veins when everything comes together “no no no” you think repeatedly, moving your hands, trying to find a way to take off the chains. “It won’t work” the door opens and Rollo enters. The man walks and stands in front of you, looking at you like a real disgusting insect. “We checked your body and he is clean, we checked your family and your past, which is also nothing special and so I ask myself, what do you have to offer that he has protected so vigorously?” You didn't say anything and Rollo let out a mocking laugh. “But I guess it doesn’t make any difference anymore, after all” he bent down, looking you straight into his eyes “you’re alone now” You swallowed the bile that rose up your neck. “Let's see how long you last here” Rollo turned his back, the cape hitting your face and the door being closed with a thud. ………. You have no idea how much time has passed, you feel dizzy, staying in the same room all the time, chained up, receiving only bread and water once a day is not good for your health, you feel lethargic, as if the at any moment the thread of your life could be cut. The only thing that changed during that time was the noise of an endless storm outside, you heard the sound of water, thunder and you wished you could see lightning, see anything other than red bricks and darkness. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, imagining the world outside, remembering everything, your childhood with all the poor children in the neighborhood, your parents, the servants at the mansion, the nights with Tetsunotaro, everything so precious to you that you I wanted what was taken from you by force, your freedom. Your mind and spirit were so disturbed that you didn't hear the low explosion outside, the light and desperate footsteps, the screams and the door to your cell opening.

»>

[fearingthefearsome]

𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕽𝖊𝖉 𝕷𝖎𝖕𝖘 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖊, 𝕶𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖍

─•~𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ~•─  - The main masterlist with all my collections

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃'𝓈 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝓂𝑜𝑔𝑒𝓂𝓈 - Genshin Impact masterlist

PAIRING... Alhaitham x Kaveh

SYPNOSIS... One would say Kaveh is famous. That in itself is something Sumeru and many of his clients cannot deny. Blond hair almost like golden threads pairs beautifully with carmine ruby eyes peering with inspiration. An almost feminine but adrogynus look entices men and women alike. That is why it’s no suprise when Alhaitham goes home to find gifts and packages piled up on their front door. A small twisting hint of jealousy lingering in his mind as he looks at it.

WARNINGS... This fanfic is indulgent and it contains a smut scene near the end. So be warned 𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼, I will not warn you thrice.

AUTHOR'S NOTES... Greeting once more 𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼, it's been a while since I've gone back to writing due to writer's block. Apologies to all the 𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 who were expecting a new oneshot or a continuation of the scenarios which I would like to say that it will be continued. I had to write a new piece that is severely out of my element. Also I am experimenting once more with the design of my posts so there may be changes to the new posts rather than the old posts. I would also like to give a shout for my best friend who created this very beautiful artwork of Alhaitham littered with kiss marks and out of my fangirling over these two gays, they also made a bonus artwork of Kaveh being the culprit of the kiss marks. Which thank you very much for the fanart! :DD Worry not the photos are attached here in the scenes. As i've said, this story is a bit of a character study on my part and writing in-depth romance (?) I'm really out of my element. But I am happy to say that I have improved a lot since before. A heads up, it's been a while since I've written smut so please bear with me, 𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼. Other than that, enjoy the archive's new post!

Kaveh is famous. 

That in itself is something Alhaitham cannot deny. 

Ever since their school days, Alhaitham remembered when his Senior would be surrounded by men and women alike. Clamoring around him to gain the attention of those ruby eyes. Sometimes their little hangouts in the library would be interrupted by brave souls confessing their love to him. Only to be rejected with the softest smile on his pink lips. Other times Kaveh would drag him around to hide by a hidden corner of the library. Hoping to escape any potential suitors that would want to court him. 

Long before being the Light of Kshahrewar, Kaveh gained popularity through his beauty and intellect. That’s how Kaveh was well-known around Sumeru and the Akademiya.

That’s why when Alhaitham arrives home early, he is not surprised to see a pile of boxes at the entrance, all addressed to the Light of Kshahrewar. He can vaguely remember when Kaveh would arrive at their study hangouts with bags filled with courting gifts. Other times Alhaitham was the one who would receive these gifts to pass on to Kaveh but it diminished to just a handful of times when Kaveh had gotten angry for using him as a convenient mailman. His favorite memory with these gifts is when Kaveh would share with him any treats or snacks he got. 

He huffs lightly before scooping up the gifts and lays them on the coffee table of their home. As bothersome as the gifts are, he has the decency to at least bring it inside. He toes off his shoes, expecting to be scolded by his roommate. The gifts end up on the coffee table, piled up to the brim with tags from senders and obnoxious bows and wrappers. He sits down on the sofa and tries to relax from a long day of working in the office. However his mind wanders back to the past where his Kaveh was confessed to left and right. It was always an annoying sight to stumble upon or witness. To see his Senior be showered with unnecessary flowery words and be subjected to an idiot’s confession. Even he, who learned 20 languages, knows better words to say to a man that makes him speechless. And it’s frustrating him how his mind can’t seem to rest unless his roommate is back home. 

Alhaitham picks one box and inspects it, all wrapped neatly and screams rich from the designs. The giant red bow hides a card beneath its obnoxiousness. Squinting, he takes the card and debates on opening it. One one hand, he’d see who the sender is and the objective of their gift. On the other hand, he can feel a growing irritation within him that he hopes he can soothe by reading this card.  He goes over it again in his head, weighs the pros and cons but something tells him he should read it. Although he knows that tampering with the gift would result in an argument with Kaveh, he would satisfy his curiosity. 

Opening it, Alhaitham is greeted with the most unintelligible writing known to mankind. It was written in script, all the loops were exaggerated to the point of being unreadable. He has studied to read even the handwriting of doctor’s through prescriptions and journals in the House of Daena. Yet this sender thinks they can entice Kaveh with their horrid handwriting. It takes a few minutes or two to decipher what they wrote. 

‘Dearest Light of Kshahrewar, 

I am sending this letter in hopes of having your hand in marriage-‘

Feeling a boiling anger in his blood, he crumples the card with a clenched grip. Who does this fucker think they are? A marriage proposal? It wasn’t uncommon for the Light of Kshahrewar to be seen as an eligible bachelor. However the audacity of this bitch who can’t even write to the point of it being read is abysmal. He throws the card onto the table and drops the gift with a growl of irritation escaping his lips. He ruminates over what the letter said, hand covering his mouth to try and dissuade his teeth from crumbling beneath how tense his jaw is from raw anger. 

It’s not his business. He snatches a book from a messy pile on the coffee table. It’s not his business as it is not him who was proposed to. He tries reading quietly as he returns to a mental bookmark on his book. Evidently making sure to steer clear of any annoying emotion he might feel. Yet…

The gifts on the table are giving him a smug look and the annoyance in him is slowly festering without the company of his roommate. He sighs exasperated as he has wasted 5 minutes trying to calm himself down. The book in his hand is interesting but his attention keeps straying back to the gifts sitting innocently on the table. 

Sighing for the nth time, Alhaitham waits impatiently for Kaveh to return home. Huffing here and there when time seemed to slow down much to his chagrin. 

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

Alhaitham perks up in attention when he hears the fiddling of keys at the front door. 

Kaveh finally arrives home in a jumble of noise. Something he can’t seem to complain about. It’s familiar to hear his keys jingle with haste and the door swings open aggressively from a long-day stress piled on his shoulders. Kaveh himself follows through with an exhausted moan and the little beeps of Mehrak right behind him. Alhaitham can hear him struggle by the doorway as he removes his shoes and places his keys in the dish bowl. Cursing suddenly resounds through the entrance as multiple heavy thuds follow. His shoes must have been in the way, as he barely glances at Kaveh entering the living room with a very displeased expression. Though he was surprised to see Kaveh carrying a giant box alongside his blueprints. 

“Alhaitham! I told you before to put your shoes ASIDE!” Kaveh starts in a flurry of ire. He smacks the giant box down on the coffee table as he points at Alhaitham with an accusatory finger. “I swear you leave them out on purpose just to see me trip! I swear to Kusanali that you do this out of amusement-“ Alhaitham observes Kaveh, who continues to rant at him. He takes the time to witness Kaveh drop his blueprints onto the couch. He lends a habitual hand to help him take off his hair accessories. His hands cradle the red hairclips of his roommate while Kaveh runs his hands through his hair. And when the time is right, Alhaitham can see the pretty unblemished nape of his roommate. Tempting to touch and a sight that only he can be blessed with. 

“It’s blasphemous to use our god’s name in vain, Senior.” He retorts. 

“And you’re a prick for making the entrance a hazard!” Kaveh snaps back immediately. Alhaitham has to hide a growing grin behind his hand as he hums in acknowledgement to what he was saying. 

“Ugh!” Kaveh plops down onto the sofa, directly beside Alhaitham. And the smile grew beneath his hand as Kaveh scoots even closer to him. His knees knocked against Alhaitham’s and his warmth immediately warmed up Alhaitham’s right side. Kaveh crosses his arms and grumbles under his breath. Kaveh whips his head to the side, avoiding his eyes despite sitting so near him. 

“Did anything interesting happen today, Senior?” He asks but all he gets is a side glare accompanied by a very cute angry pout. Now this won’t do. Alhaitham has entertainment when he plays his cards right. And most of the time, he has an opportunity to satiate his twisted desires he keeps hidden. Seeing Kaveh being cute and angry is an opportunity to tease him. To burn his curiosity of how many expressions can he show him with a few words. Moving just a bit closer to drape his body on Kaveh. Relishing how warm the sun is on his skin, with just a few layers of cloth preventing him from being burnt. Alhaitham asks again, this time leaning closer to his space. His breath hot and loud as it leans close to Kaveh’s ear, he asks sincerely. “Won’t you tell me what happened to your day, Kaveh?” 

“Hmph!” He takes sick pleasure in the blush that dusts his ears and cheeks. The way it is evident that his tactics are working to break down the walls Kaveh had put up. But right now, he wants his attention on him. The anger from the card was still simmering in his blood and he wanted Kaveh to soothe it. To make him forget the anger that’s wants to blow up and track down the poor excuse of a potential candidate. So he smiles and breathily whispers into Kaveh’s left ear. “Apologies for leaving my shoes around, Senior.” He adds an extra effect to persuade him by nipping his ear once. Alhaitham can feel a wicked satisfaction when Kaveh shivers and breathes in shakily from the action. “I’ll be good next time by putting away my shoes properly.” When Kaveh bites his lower lip, he can tell he relented quite easily to his apology and is more than willing to talk now. 

With that, Alhaitham closes the book he hasn’t read since he picked it up to signal that he’s giving Kaveh all his undivided attention. “Now I want to know how your day has been, Senior.” 

He can’t help but feel pleased when Kaveh pouts cutely at him. 

“I’ll be holding your word to see you actually do it, Alhaitham!” He says before lighting up to tell him about his day. “Besides, my day’s been through the gutter. But something interesting happened when I was going home. You won’t believe it Alhaitham! I was passing by Puspa Cafe when one of my past clients came up to me with their acquaintance. Ms…” Kaveh stops his monologue to remember their names. Alhaitham has to stop his words from teasing him when his face scrunches up in concentration. Kaveh is keen on remembering their names when he taps his finger on his lips. Maybe Alhaithamm should change his race into a glove that gets to be kissed by Kaveh’s lips. When he snaps his fingers when he remembers their name, his ruby eyes meet his own with stars glittering around it. “Ms. Abélia, she commissioned me for a greenhouse in her parent’s land. I met her and her companion Ms. Iris at the front of Puspa Cafe- oh!” Kaveh is excited. Alhaitham can tell just how happy Kaveh is when he fumbles with opening the giant box from his client. 

“Ms. Iris is apparently their family friend and she’s a makeup artist from Fontaine. They gave me a gift from their new line of makeup products for making their greenhouse.” Kaveh says as he brings out the makeup products one by one. 

Alhaitham, with no knowledge of extensive makeup beside the usual kohl and a few lessons from Kaveh, was taken aback by the quantity. On the coffee table, Kaveh had moved aside the book pile and the gifts to make room for at least 4 cases of eyeshadow, eyeliners and other products Alhaitham doesn’t recognize. “That’s quite excessive for a simple greenhouse.” Alhaitham says as Kaveh grabs the last two products that catches Alhaitham’s eyes. 

They are two small cases with a glass window softly held in Kaveh’s hands. From where he looms over Kaveh, the products seen through the glass window are two shades of red. One case has a lighter red almost a bit pink shade while the other product has a peach almost skin-like color with a pink hue in it. 

Kaveh huffs at his comment, “While I agree that it is excessive for a gift, the greenhouse was not simple at all! It was one of the most stressful commissions and it was within 7 weeks, Alhaitham. Seven!” Kaveh pouts in annoyance while Alhaitham remembers how much Kaveh suffered through that commission. Not only was the time and the client’s preference of design difficult, the materials had a delay and the glass panes were switched out with a cheaper quality. Alhaitham remembered Kaveh being angry. Angrier than he had ever seen Kaveh be. It devolved to Kaveh reporting to Cyno about the situation which turned out that the company from Fontaine had been embezzling their funds. Alhaitham took the liberty to quickly report on time about the situation to the Iudex of Fontaine. 

The amount of stress Kaveh had been through that time was enough for him to collapse at least thrice within the day. Trips to the Bimarstan were frequent for a week with Cyno carrying him to emergency care and Tighnari was stationed to watch over Kaveh during the last few days of construction. Nothing about the process of building and designing the greenhouse was simple but in essence it is a simple greenhouse in Alhaitham’s eyes. Where was Alhaitham? He took on the task of making sure Kaveh slept at night. Forcing him to eat and bathe while coercing him to lay on his bed, right beside him. 

Alhaitham snaps out of his thoughts to tune into Kaveh’s recount of the commission.  “-ly, Ms. Abélia was a bit… difficult to coordinate with but she’s much better than the other clients who always sacrifice safety and design for cheap materials.” Kaveh settles on that before he takes notice of the products still clenched in his hands. Kaveh sighs in annoyance, “Anyways. Here.” Kaveh offers one of the products to Alhaitham who in turn opens his hand and lets Kaveh place the product on his palm. Alhaitham relishes the small graze of Kaveh’s finger on his hand. 

“And what is this Senior?” Alhaitham examines the small case, the one Kaveh had given him was with pink peach shade. He observes how Kaveh opens his case with deft fingers. “It’s lip balm, dear Junior. They said it moisturizes the lips and it’s extremely helpful in the desert since it can remove the dryness whenever we have an expedition there.” Kaveh says as he brings out his pinky finger and takes a few swipes on the lip balm. He carefully smears it on his lips and smacks them with subtle pops. 

Alhaitham barely pays attention to what Kaveh was doing but he hums in approval at how helpful the product will be in the future. Maybe he can ask Kaveh to give him one. But… “Why does it have color? Are there ones without any shades?” Alhaitham questions as he looks up to Kaveh only to freeze at the sight. Specifically the sight of Kaveh’s lips that has taken a reddish-pink hue. The pale lips he sometimes reads are now covered in a beautiful shade of red that has a glossy texture. It looks soft and delicate like a flower petal. He can tell Kaveh is talking from the way those lips open and close around words but Alhaitham is stuck watching those kissable lips convey words that cannot reach his ears. And when Kaveh stops, he sees those lips stretch into a cheshire grin that taunts him. Alhaitham looks at those lips one last time before he focuses back on Kaveh. The beautiful man in all his blonde and ruby glory is smiling teasingly at him. The same man who is taunting him with those luscious and soft lips. 

“Alhaitham?” Kaveh blinks in confusion, tilting his head to look questioningly at him. Alhaitham just nods, not knowing what Kavevh said or what he was thinking anymore. He focuses back on those glossy pink lips and looks away. “Nothing.” He replies before picking up another makeup product on the table to inspect it. 

Archons. he really wants to kiss this man.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

The next few days were unbearable for Alhaitham. Some days when he woke up, he would be greeted by that same beautiful man preparing breakfast for the both of them. While other days he would have the honor of waking up the ethereal beauty sleeping peacefully surrounded by an array of colors. But what happened was that the gifts were coming in a steady stream. And Kaveh? He decided to try out anything he can use on his body. And Alhaitham? Well he was at the mercy of this oblivious blond.

It took a whole new level of restraint to stop himself from pouncing on the man. Whenever they bickered, Alhaitham’s eyes would flicker down to those pretty glossy lips that said each word like a god’s prophecy. Kaveh was still using the same lip balm that was given to him a few days ago. Whenever they see each other off, Alhaitham has to anchor his hands to stop himself from chasing after those beautiful golden locks. The scent of a new shampoo Kaveh was testing out was a mix of flowers. It wasn’t potent but it also wasn’t subtle, it was enough to catch Alhaitham off guard though. It paired perfectly with the new rose perfume Kaveh was given by a client from Inazuma. It fits him so well that Alhaitham suggested buying more of it for Kaveh. When Alhaitham comes home to see Kaveh creating designs after designs, he can’t stop himself from appreciating how obliviously smart and foolishly dedicated this man is. During breaks before dinner or lunch, he sees Kaveh spreading lotion on his hands and arms. He rubs his fingers to test the texture before massaging it sensually into his skin. It took Alhaitham a few minutes to uncross his legs to avoid being seen by Kaveh how indecent he’s been just by watching him. The final straw was when Kaveh would take care of his fingers on the coffee table. The way he attentively cuts and files his nails. Then he brought out a gift in the form of nail polish. And Alhaitham didn’t know just how beautiful Kaveh’s hands are until he presents his nails with a muted red polish coloring his nails. Alhaitham had to punish himself with a very very cold shower when he imagined those hands holding… something.

Alhaitham has to hand it to himself for resisting a wonderful temptation Kaveh is to him. Yet tonight, the chains he put on himself are crumbling by how annoyingly gorgeous this man is in his drunken stupor. 

It was their monthly night out with Tighnari and Cyno. This time, they have Cyno’s pseudo-brother, Sethos joining them for the first time. Alhaitham tries to drown out the noise of the tavern with his headphones yet Kaveh’s voice cuts through it and ends up being his comfort tonight. As he reads his book and converse with his companions, he sneaks a few glances at the blond talking animatedly in a flurry of hand gestures. He drinks alongside Kaveh but not at the same pace as him. He refills Kaveh’s glass who in turn drinks with stars blinking from his eyes. He observes how Kaveh switches his expression every millisecond Alhaitham takes his eyes off him. He observes how Kaveh would lightly place the glass on his lower lip. Still talking to their companions before drinking it with grace. When he places down his wine glass, he is intently focused on the tongue that licks away the remaining wine that threatens to drip down those pretty lips. He can’t help but let Kaveh indulge just a little bit more just to watch Kaveh lick away the wine from his lips. He wonders how those pretty and delicate lips would wrap around his fingers or how that tongue would lick his thumb when he teases him. He just lets Kaveh be, especially when he gets to watch his roommate’s lips be stained in a blooming subtle red. He’s using a new product of lipstick that got smudged and left a red stroke beyond his lips. He has half a tipsy mind to reach over and wipe the imperfection but the other tipsy half wants to smear it more and leave Kaveh’s lips messier than the wine glass with his kiss mark. 

By the time Lambad gives a warning of closing time, Alhaitham moves to grasp Kaveh’s hand. The alcohol in him is starting to affect him when he caresses the hand littered with the smallest cuts and slightly calloused by his career. He doesn’t remember when he leans in close to Kaveh but he commits to memory the blush on Kaveh’s cheeks that spread farther down his neck. His breath hitches when Kaveh shivers from his breath and decides to whisper softly into Kaveh’s ear like it was a forbidden secret no one but them should know. “Let’s go home, Kaveh.”  

He hears a stifled gasp and a sharp inhale of a breath from their companions. Alhaitham doesn’t know if it was the tipsy mind in him from an indulged wine-drinking session or the tipsy mind from getting to hold an irresistible temptation in his arms. What he knows is that Kaveh lets out an airy breath, it sounds needy and - Kaveh’s hands had gripped his sleeve and hid his face into his neck. So close that Alhaitham can smell the remnants of that same new shampoo Kaveh has been using. He grips Kaveh firmly as he stands to pick up the blond into his arms. He bites his tongue in frustration when he hears Kaveh whine needily near his ear. 

 He turns to address the three,“See you two around, and it was nice talking with you Sethos.” In a subtle rush, Alhaitham’s blurry vision only clears up when he arrives right in front of their home. His hand balances the weightless man in his left while unlocking the door with his right. He toes the door open and closes it with the audible click of the lock. The clatter of the keys hitting the ceramic bowl is drowned out by Kaveh’s little mumbles right beside his covered ear. Grunting with little effort, Alhaitham sheds both their shoes off their feet and enters their home with haste. 

Alhaitham deposits Kaveh on his bed and moves around his bedroom with habitual ease. He snags clean clothes and towels, hoping to clean up before going to bed. He takes off his headphones, gloves and other extra fabrics and sets them on his study table. He turns on the lights in the bathroom and runs a bath slowly filling up with warm water. As soon as he steps out of the bathroom, he sees the person of his desires nodding off on his bed. Alhaitham pauses by the doorway, he watches how Kaveh breaths with a hitch and hiccup here and there. He spots his face still has lipstick smudged beyond the shape of his lips. He approaches the man slowly before bending down to meet him face-to-face. 

He admires how the moonlight shines on him. It creates an ethereal aura around his delicate features and enhances the other-wordly beauty Kaveh has. He always knew the man was beautiful- No. He is so beautiful that he could be considered an angel or a god. His blonde hair could be mistaken for gold if not for the small flecks of brown at the tips. Those ruby eyes are shining gems that never seem to dull no matter what the world tries to do to dim its light. The cute button nose would scrunch up when his emotions would run high. And those lips- those lips. They are like delicate flower petals, soft to the touch and fragile like glass. When Kaveh had started to frequently use lipsticks and lip balms, Alhaitham couldn't seem to keep his eyes away from those lips. Covered in a light sheen of gloss always colored with hues of pink or red. Like a wildflower blooming with different colors, he is interested in having those lips touch his own.

One day. 

But for now, he reaches out with his hand and gently traces the dark circles beneath his eyes. He caresses shapes and lines around his eyebrow down to his cheek. He carefully wipes the smudged lipstick away and is content with how he looks more beautiful. He rests his hand on his cheek and pinches it lightly. 

“Kaveh.” 

He says the name like a prayer. It is laced with honeyed fondness and love. He pinches those soft cheeks teasingly before trying again to wake up the blonde on his bed. “Kaveh.” A little murmur is followed by a groan of annoyance. 

Ah, there it is. Alhaitham feels like the floor disappeared beneath his feet. Those ruby eyes squinted open and stared at him with all its attention, just on him. He feels his own lips twitch at the corner when he pinches just a tad too hard and the whine of pain echoes in the room. It is quite fun to tease him like, all sleepy and unaware of what he does to Alhaitham. Besides, the pinched pained expression on Kaveh’s face is quite a cute sight to see. 

“Kaveh, c’mon. Let’s go take a bath.” 

Kaveh does a sloppy job of trying to slap his hand away. All the while he groans out, “Noo…” Kaveh tries to fight the pinching Alhaitham by wiggling away from him. Alhaitham in turn chases after him, keeping up with pinching his cheeks until he huffs angrily at him. Eyes wide open and pouting at him. “Haiyiii- Wanna sleeep…”  He groans with a hushed tone, “Let me sleeeep.” He shakes his head as he struggles to keep an irritated expression on his face. Alhaitham just chuckles with amusement as he tries to urge Kaveh to the bathroom. “Bathe first, we’re dirty.” Kaveh merely groans and tries to resist Alhaitham’s attempts to bring him to the bathroom. 

It takes a few tries of push and pull, a winning fight for Kaveh. Alhaitham sighs and gives up on trying to force Kaveh into the bathroom. He goes back to turn off the running water and calls out to Kaveh, “At least change your clothes, Kaveh.” He hears him groaning before a faint, ‘okay…’ resounded followed by a heavy thud on the floor. 

Alhaitham comes back to see Kaveh flopped on the floor like a corpse from a crime scene. Sighing again for the nth time of the night, he helps Kaveh up from the floor. He plops him back on the bed and leaves to grab a shirt and underwear from the clean pile of clothes he had gotten in the beginning. He wrangles Kaveh awake to assist him in changing his clothes. And it was a struggle for Alhaitham to keep his hands to himself. 

Kaveh wakes up once more mumbling in irritation but complies to Alhaitham’s wishes. He starts by taking off  Alhaitham clenches his fists to stop it from roaming around Kaveh’s body. When he takes off Kaveh’s shirt, he lets his greedy fingers brush against his skin when he forces Kaveh into one of his shirts. When he sheds Kaveh’s pants, he uses the tip of his fingernail to lightly scratch a long line on Kaveh’s leg. Watching with great interest when Kaveh shivers from his touch. He has to be quick in changing his underwear unless his hands start to wander off to do indecent things. It is a losing battle for Alhaitham when he looks up to see Kaveh pouting cutely at him. Kaveh’s hands curl around either side of his head but it retreats as soon as he leans into it. 

He picks up Kaveh’s dirty clothes and eyes Kaveh clambering up his bed. He has to stomp on his desires from jumping this man as Kaveh grabs his pillow and passes out once more. He observes how Kaveh is curled around his pillow, in his clothes, on his bed and snoring quietly into the night. He scrutinizes how Kaveh’s lips are slightly open. Puffs of his breath escaping from those red lips. He stays there just watching, restraint heavy on his limbs. He should go and take a bath now before the water gets cold but the sight before him was something he is trying to burn into his memories. It doesn’t help that he spotted Kaveh’s lipstick sticking to his pillow in the shape of a faint kiss mark. Huffing in sexual frustration, he can’t help the little bout of jealousy that tore a hole through his mind. If Alhaitham ditches taking a bath and changing to his nightly clothes, he might be able to take the place of the pillow and feel Kaveh’s lips sticking to him. But if he doesn’t bathe right now, not only would it be a waste of water but the sticky residue of dried wine on his arm will disrupt him from having a good night’s sleep. Scowling, he turns around to clean up before going to bed. Why must these things keep him away from having Kaveh. One small thought that is slowly growing to consume his consciousness echoes in his mind:

It should’ve been him, marked by those tempting lips of his. 

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

Kaveh always remembers everything when he’s drunk. 

Believe him or not he remembers all of it. How he would pull Cyno into a crushing hug. Despite how many times Cyno asks him to unhand him to play TCG. Pouting at Tighnari and whispering his sadness while his head rests on his lap. It is always accompanied by a furry tail tickling his face when he cries. But most of all, he remembers nights when he passionately complains about his handsome roommate who argues with him. Recalls clinging to said roommate who indulges him with bridal carries and wine. Or how he would wake up first, sleeping on Alhaitham’s bed, space invaded by a body hugging him. The scent of oakwood and ink snapping him out of his fantasy to him panicking to wake up and get out of bed. 

That’s why this morning, he had a frenzied wake-up call beside Alhaitham. He had rushed through the worst hangover pounding in his head. Not only was he late, he had to return home to get the materials he forgot for another client’s meeting. He didn’t get to eat lunch as he had to run out and catch the third client.. By the time Kaveh arrives home with a bag full of rejected blueprints and a low energy Mehrak in his hand, it was already past sunset. He enters the house discouraged and exhausted with a migraine forming pounding right behind his eyes. He’s glad that the door to the house was unlocked even though he didn’t bring his keys once more. 

Kaveh sits on the floor and sighs, resting his head onto the cool wooden walls of their home. He takes his time hooking his fingers in his shoes and slipping it off. Wincing when pain flares up in his wrist and his eyes as he drags his arms to sag on either side of his body. He takes his time to recollect himself surrounded in his misery and pain. He thinks back to how his day went and it just causes a sting in his heart to appear. He didn’t get to eat today, just a small cup of coffee and a snack. Snack… Oh yeah, it’s his turn to cook dinner. He wonders what Alhaitham would want to eat for dinner. That got him to slowly stand up. This time, he takes measured steps through his hazy sight to make his way deeper into the heart of their home. 

“Alhaitham. I’m home, what do you-.” Kaveh calls out to his roommate. He cuts himself off when he spots Alhaitham cooking dinner. “Oh, you’re cooking…” Kaveh’s mind can’t seem to keep up as he carefully sets down his belongings on the sofa. It is his turn to cook, he should be cooking but he feels so happy to not be the one cooking right now. He hears a muffled hum but it gets drowned out by the migraine that just grew heavier in his head. He sags down on the sofa with a grunt of pain, reaching over to bury his face into a pillow. His eyes feel like they’re about to fall out. His head feels like they’re about to split in two and create a new Mehrak like Zeus. His wrists are aching and his hands feel like lead with how tense they are. Ugh. Why did today have to be the worst… How long must he suffer… 

“Kaveh?” 

His eyes snap open and he shoots up in alert, two heavy hands weigh down his shoulders and his fright shoots up through the roof. “Kaveh, it’s just me.” Oh. He threads through his ball of anxiety, imagines unraveling the strings to calm himself down. Fuck, he fell asleep. His eyes snap to attention to find Alhaitham’s face hovering close to his. “I would let you sleep more, but dinner’s ready” Dinner? We eat together at 6pm but the sun is just setting. Did he doze off for too long? He can feel Alhaitham’s hands gently help him sit up. Kaveh is still feeling a bit confused and disoriented from a very abrupt wake up call. What was he thinking about again? He feels the rough hands of a writer tug him to stand, leading him to the dining table where he sits obediently. Kaveh tries to trace back his steps before he took a nap on the sofa. Still disoriented from dozing off, he doesn’t hear the plates of food being placed on the table right before him. 

What was it? What was he thinking about… “Kaveh.” Ah fuck’s sake. The day’s been so stressful that Kaveh can’t keep up anymore. His hands come to rest on his face with a wounded groan rumbling through his throat. The palms of his hands press onto his forehead when the migraine comes back full force. The smell of the food wafts through the air with the intense aromas of herbs. It makes him nauseous at the same time hungry from half a day of not eating. And the sound of utensils and plates clattering from where Alhaitham continues to serve food. Groaning, he squeezes his eyes in concentration and stave the migraine from growing any biggger. ”Thank you for cooking.” Is all he can say through the pain and whatever Alhaitham says gets drowned out once more to his misery. 

It takes him a few minutes to keep himself steady. To actually have coherent thoughts in his head but it’s a struggle for him to keep one single thought running. The smell, the sound, the fucking piece of shit of a migraine in his head kept hitting the worse parts of his brain. Fuck, why is it so painful? It takes him a couple of seconds to realize that the noise he kept hearing suddenly turned off. Like a switch flicking to turn off a light. His eyes snap open as he feels another pair of hands trail from his ears to his hands. He looks up to see Alhaitham there, his headphones nowhere to be found on his ears or his neck. What? Where-. That gets Kaveh’s attention to break one of his hands from Alhaitham’s warm hold. His hand meets the familiar shape of headphones that are on his ears. He knows the shape, the way it feels in his hands because he was the one who created them. Kaveh is the one who provides Alhaitham with new noise-canceling headphones, each one either a replacement or an upgrade from the last. Most of it though is the latter. 

He looks up at him in shock. Why- Why is he giving this to him? Why did he put it on him? Alhatiham breaks away to sign with his hands. ‘Use it for now. Focus on eating first.’ Is what he says before he sits down right in front of him. And Kaveh? He feels so much relief. The headphones had a domino effect for his current predicament. When the noise settles to a silent hush, the scent of the food starts smelling delicious. His migraine is slowly dissipating, enough for him to focus on eating. Per the request of Alhaitham, of course. Though, there was nothing he could do to stop his eyes from feeling like they’re bleeding. He looks down on his plate filled with food. It looks delicious. Kaveh was normally the one to cook their meals daily. So it is a rare occasion for Alhtiahm to cook for them. Even more so for him to serve him food on his plate. But he has no energy to complain right now, he just feels grateful for doing this. 

Alhaitham and Kaveh eat in silence. The same kind of silence that would be cut through by stories and bickering they would share. But today is just a moment of rest. Days like this would make Kaveh uneasy but when he looks at Alhaitham, he feels calm. Like there is no rush to do things or catch up with the world. To Kaveh, it feels like he is living in Alhaitham’s world. The silence may be loud for Kaveh but it’s not overwhelmingly loud when Alhaitham is there. When Kaveh takes his time eating, he feels his chest a bit lighter than before. 

Kaveh tries to help in cleaning up but was barred from Alhaitham to even stand up. His hands sign quickly to threaten him with breaking his models and ruining his blueprints if he stood up. So Kaveh sits there, eyes closed as he listens to the muffled sounds of life in the kitchen. His thoughts wander off as he thinks about what he should do to fix Mehrak. Her battery is a substitute after a run-in with some hilichurls. He has to ask Madam Faruzan for that, probably tomorrow. His blueprints need to be redone with the new designs. Though he’s thinking of dropping one of his new clients he met today. He knows that he shouldn’t drop them immediately but… Who the fuck does this motherfucker think he is. Trying to trick him into building a slave trading hub in Caravan Ribat, Kaveh had half the mind to sic Mehrak on him when he proposed it to him in their meeting. He’ll just visit Cyno to report the proposal to him. He'd rather not spend the night in jail for an attempted murder. Oh yeah he has- 

“Kaveh,” This time it was clearer. He can hear the worried tone in his baritone voice when he says it. His hand flies up to touch his ear and he’s surprised to feel skin instead. ”Is your migraine better now?” Alhaihtam asks him. He looks up at him and he’s mesmerized. This junior of his is quite a troublesome kid, that cute face of his has small signs of worry plastered on his face. The little furrow of his brows, the twitch of his lips, and his eyes had hardened over with worry. Kaveh smiles and nods. Alhaitham is really cute, especially when he tries to hide how worried he is.

Alhaitham takes his silent nod as a sufficient answer for now. His junior is very obedient. He knows he lied but still decided to let it slide. Kaveh has to focus on Alhaitham’s lips when they start to move. his mind can’t process the words he said at first. “…On your bed-” Bed? He finally got to focus on the tail end of his sentence but bed? What did he do with the bed? “I’ll be in my study if you need anything and,” Oh he’ll be in the study, he must be finishing up his personal research. That’s when Kaveh’s eyes switch over to the package in Alhaitham’s hand. Oh, he didn’t see that a while ago. When did Alhaitham get that? He must’ve been holding since he came back from the kitchen. “You have a delivery.” 

Those were his parting words before he and Alhaitham had gone back to their respective rooms. One retreats to his study while Kaveh returns to his room. His hand is holding onto the package he was given. He spots his blueprints and Mehrak on his working table. His migraine is just a dull throbbing now, but nothing like a bath and a good rest tonight can’t be fixed. However he has blueprints to work on today and there's still a problem with Mehrak. It takes Kaveh a few minutes to start moving again. The longer he stays stagnant, the more work piles up on his shoulders. 

He settles down on the chair of his vanity. It was a routine to check on himself before taking a bath and working more on blueprints. He sets the gift down on the vanity table and looks at himself. He grabs cottons and a makeup remover. Wiping away the slightly disheveled makeup on his face. Along with it was the stress of the day and the heavy exhaustion that clung to it. Maybe he should take a break today… Work can wait… right? He should probably ask Alhaitham to read to him again, he always loves how Alhaitham’s voice sounds. It is smooth and low every day but when he reads to him, it would turn gravelly and gruff. How his silvery tone would say the words with ease, the same way when he speaks another language besides Sumerian. It would be a good time to sleep with Alhaitham tonight.  

With an almost clean and bare face, he turns his attention back to the gift sitting innocently on his vanity. Who would send a gift this time? He carefully opens the box and lifts the lid to see what’s inside. Kaveh scans the contents of the gift. There are two tubes of lipstick. He picks up one of the tubes and is mesmerized by the way it was packaged. The inside of the tube was reflecting a deep red gloss within that can be seen through. Kaveh smiles as he lifts the tube to the setting sun. Loving the way the red shines through and ignites a light of inspiration within him. Maybe he should make a stained glass design with this red. It looks nice in the lamp light, he should see what it looks like in the sunlight tomorrow. Glancing back at the box he sees a letter. 

Putting down the tube, he picks up the letter and reads it. 

‘Dear Architect of Sumeru,

Thank you for accepting my commission to design a house for my daughter. Although it was unfortunate that you could not stay longer to witness the wedding of my family, I heard through the grapevine that you are well-known to be the fashion icon of Sumeru. With that in mind, I am gifting you a product I have been experimenting with for a few weeks. 

I call them, ‘Lip Tints.’ The idea of this product is that once it dries on your lips, it will stain your lips without smudging like normal lipsticks. These two are my trial products and even though it is supposed to be a gift I would like to ask a favor. Please write back to me a letter of any feedback from using them. 

Other than that, thank you once more, Architect of Sumeru for the design. I wish great tides of luck to your life. 

Sincerely, Mrs. Myriam Castex

23rd Countess of the Noble Family of Castex

Kaveh feels the smooth texture of the paper, smelling a hint of Romaritime perfume on the letter. He soaks in the faint scent of the perfume by resting the paper on the top of his upper lip. Blushing just a bit at the letter, “Fashion icon? of Sumeru?” When he mutters it, the more disbelief he has laced in his tone. He shakes his head, thinking that Mrs. Castex was jesting at the idea. It was a stretch to say he was an icon, but he could not deny that there are times where he has made a change in Sumeru’s fashion throughout his life. 

Kaveh sighs, setting the letter down, he turns his attention back to the lip tint tubes. He tests how it works, surprised to open it and almost spill the lip tint onto his vanity. A quick heart-stopping moment, Kaveh tries on the lip tint. 

He smears the gloss onto his lower lip first and shivers when an intense cooling effect settles on his lips. That’s one feedback to give back, it was too cold on his lips. He tries it on his upper lips and is taken aback from smelling a whiff of strawberry. He waits for it to be damp, almost dry to try and dab it on but he stares at himself in the mirror and realizes- it’s too red. 

“Oh shit-” Kaveh scrambles to get tissue to try and remove as much of the product from his lips. Careful not to get the tint on his skin. He closes the lip tint to gather more tissue and is horrified to see his fingertips as red as his lips. Rubbing his finger together, he can’t help but be impressed when it didn’t smudge. It stains his fingers in very distinct red around it. Looking up to the mirror, he smacks his lips to feel it dry from wiping and sees that it is the same red. “It’s a success, that's for sure.” He says, leaning close to the mirror to get a good look of how the lip tint worked. Not only achieved such a glossy finish but the cooling effect he felt had made the lips look plumper. It wasn’t obnoxious but it was a subtle difference that he felt from smacking his lips. 

He smacks his lips again, licking it to test if it’ll smudge. He can taste the strawberries now. He looks at it a few more times, moving his head left and right. It gives such good results, especially for a trial product. He licks his lips again and is greeted with the strawberry flavor. Though it is a bit faint now that he’s licked the remaining product on his lips. He licks his lips again and hums in satisfaction. 

“I wonder if Alhaitham would like the strawberry flavor.” 

It takes a while for Kaveh to even register what he said beneath his breath. He blushes with a light shade of red dusting his cheeks. He shakes his head and covers his face with his hands. He stammers as he realizes the weight of his words. He just admitted he wanted Alhaitham to kiss him! He kicks his feet, flustered with embarrassment and shame. In his mind he can see images of them kissing. Alhaitham hooking his fingers on his chin and pulling him to a chaste kiss. Or Alhaitham licking his lips and commenting on the strawberry flavor before devouring him with earnest desire. Even better- NO! 

Shaking his head more to try and get rid of his thoughts that continue to pester him. Unwilling to be a victim to himself, he abruptly stands up from his vanity and attempts to flee from his thoughts that follows him to the bathroom. When he’s sitting in the bathtub soaking in the warmth of the water, his thoughts continue to torment him with his deepest desire. He looks into his reflection when those images evolved into full blown scenes and ignited a fire of forlorn hope in his heart. It’s a bad idea to ask Alhaitham now to sleep in his bed. Not when he doesn’t think he can help himself from avoiding making eye contact with him. He blushes once more and dunks his face in the water out of sheer embarrassment when he thinks about sleeping beside Alhaitham. Whining into the water when the idea just doesn’t go away immediately. The image he has of Alhaitham sleeping right beside him, his lips look chapped and lonely without his lips meeting him. 

I’d love for him to kiss me too. 

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

It was one of those nights. 

Nights where Kaveh’s pain would flare up in agonizing pain. Old scars reopen and bleed out for the world to smear his blood in dirt. The voices in his head would start shouting, overlapping over one another to remind him how much of a fool he is. Tonight like every other night like this, he spends it in the Tavern. Lambad is somewhere nearby to limit his drinking and remind him to go home. Making sure to keep the perverts and the creeps away from him while serving him. Even though he had finally asked Tighnari for help about his drinking addiction, the limited drinks he has is not enough to keep the thoughts at bay. 

So when he hits the final drink of the night, he takes it as a sign to finally go home. He thanks Lamad over his shoulder and stumbles through the cold night of Sumeru city’s streets. He leans on the front door in his semi-drunken moment as he enters his home. The silence is loud and creeping up on his feet as he rushes to make it to his room in one piece. 

His room is still cluttered. He hasn’t gotten to deep cleaning his things as his drafts and inspiration take the space on the floor and on the walls. He staggers around his drafts on the floor before he reaches his bed. It was also covered with shit that he can’t be bothered to clean up at the moment. So when Kaveh collapses on his bed, all his things go up in the air. He listens as blueprints, models, pencils and paper let gravity pull them down. He can hear it clatter to the floor and wonder how much- just how much it would be a pain for him to restart if those models ended up broken. He whines at the thoughts and crawls over to the edge of the bed to take a peek at the state of the models. However his eye catches a sharp glint through the dim room. 

Ah, right. The lip tint is still unopened. Kaveh had lost one of the tubes to the cluttered mess in his room but the one he held onto was sitting on his blanket. He never got to find any use for the lip tint. It is too extravagant for a simple outing despite it yielding great results. But there were no grand meetings or parties to attend to use the lip tint. 

Sighing, he wonders what Alhaitham would have done. What would he say when he finds Kaveh bumble around the house, in all his despair. Would he berate him? Would he find amusement in his sorrow? Even though he knows he’s not that cruel, he can’t help but think that Alhaitham sees him as a burden. Hah…. 

Kaveh grabs the lip tint above him. Holding up to watch how the liquid contents inside glimmers faintly. It reminds him of how beautiful Alhaitham’s eyes are. How when the sunlight hits at the right angle, he can see the glint of teal and orange when he stares at him. It reminds him of the divide between the forest and the desert. Where the sand mixes gently with the greenery and the peaceful coexistence they have of each other. It does fit Alhaitham quite perfectly. If Kaveh is like the forest always blooming with vegetation and color, Alhaitham is the desert. He is calm like the desert weather with the driest humor known to man. He has harsh words like the wind that nips at your cheeks and he had seen Alhaitham angry once. It could be compared to the most volatile sandstorm Sumeru experienced during King Deshret’s reign. It didn’t build up, it didn’t warn travelers of its presence until it burst through the air with a vicious intensity. 

Kaveh’s eyes soften, what is he doing… What can he do? The divide between him and Alhaitham has been their relationship the entire time. Just like the sand that never mixes in with the grass because when it does, Kaveh doesn’t know what lines he’ll be crossing if they did. If they had crossed the boundary between it, what would happen? Would the flowers continue to grow in sand? Will the desert spring forth a long-lasting oasis? How about the dunes, will they crumble and drown the hills and mounds? Will the grass continue to spread until it covers the sands like a blanket, forever forgotten in time? 

But what would actually happen? This brings Kaveh’s thoughts to a halt. What would actually happen? He never crossed those lines, always afraid to ruin their relationship twice. He always tiptoes around the divide and watches Alhaitham from the forest. The sandy winds brush against his cheeks when Alhaitham stares at him from the desert. Kaveh sits up, wondering the same thing again. What would happen? What would actually happen if he crossed that blurry divide between them? Because how long- How long can Kaveh continue to brush off his feelings?

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

Sneaking into Alhaitham’s room is easy. Despite what he says of how he is a light sleeper, Alhaitham sleeps like the dead. Sometimes when Kaveh spots him napping on the couch, his heart would lurch at how still he looks. Unmoving, faintly breathing and peaceful. It is a terrifying sight to come home to. Some days Kaveh has to wake him, confirming that he is truly and utterly alive and not dead- not dead like his father. Other times, he just keeps an eye on him. Watching the faint rise of his chest from his breathing while he works beside the sleeping man. That’s why, it didn’t take much effort to get inside his room. 

On unsteady feet, Kaveh manages to open Alhaitham’s room to see him sleeping contentedly. He enters the room quickly and plops himself down to sit on the edge of the bed. He lets the bed bounce under his weight and doesn’t worry much about waking Alhaitham. He takes his time to gaze at the man. 

Kaveh can’t help but feel so vexed. It’s unfair- it’s truly unfair how handsome this man is. Here is the man of his desires, the reason for his joy, pain, anger and every emotion he feels, sleeping with a peaceful expression. Unaware that Kaveh is suffering, depraved of the bits of love he feeds him in little amounts. He leads him on and on only for him to stray him away from the path. 

Honesty, it’s unfair. 

He’s just too perfect. 

He is too perfect for Kaveh. Money and titles aside, Alhaitham is his perfect muse. From the day he met him in the Akademiya, he had seen just how handsome he was. The notebooks and sketch pads he’s filled with doodles and imperfect recreations of Alhaitham. He has so many blueprints drenched in teal. He has hands stained in tael and eyes craving to see teal. So many drafts he’s thrown, so many fantasies he’s dreamed of, they cannot compare to the real thing right here. It’s a wonder why a man like him is living in this filthy world. Better yet, Kaveh imagines Celestia herself predicting this. Or rather, she is the one who made sure this man is born. A man born from alexandrite crystals, shining in teal and green. It’s as if she took the time to sculpt by hand the beauty of this man. She makes way for the strong jawline that carves a path down the slope of his neck. Where she blessed him with muscles meant to embrace him in the warmest embrace. It’s quite a sight to see it bare without any cloth clinging to it. Looking back up to his closed eyes, he knows that beneath them lies a deadly set of eyes. How the teal is surrounded by topaz to balance the intense blessing she’s given him. Sometimes Kaveh can not stare at these eyes for long. Terrified that he’ll be caught in a trap by the predator lying inside him. But the beast is sleeping soundly through the night, at the mercy of his hands. His. Kaveh’s hand brushes away the silver lock. In his mind, he can see silver wine pouring on his hair to be stained in lustrous metal. Quite a perfect match, a literal muse of the Heavens is given to him, an artist. 

His beauty cannot be compared to his own. How can he compete with a man sculpted by a god? How can he be known to be beautiful and ethereal when Alhaitham exists? He doesn’t understand how Alhaitham could think he’s pretty. Why does he look so content with hugging him? So satisfied with holding his hand or carrying him home? Such are mysteries he cannot answer. Yet. 

Yet. This man… He chooses to stay by his side. He chooses to indulge in his greed, his desires and chases after him when he runs too far. He picks up his broken pieces and takes the time to help him put himself back together. This man- this man sleeping before him. He will be ruined. Kaveh will ruin him with his filthy hands. The muse that he spends days and nights trying to perfect on paper will be tarnished- by his own hands. 

Kaveh smiles in bittersweet sadness. Just how cruel must he be? Here he is, reaching the lowest of lows to commit a heinous crime against the Heavens. Defenseless against the hands that dare touch the work of a god. But Kaveh is resolute. Determined to know the results if he crosses lines they blur. To fantasize a world where his own greed will not destroy another treasure. He wants to Alhaitham. Not as a roommate nor a research partner. Not just as a junior or the Grand Scribe. No- no. He wants Alhaitham. The one who stays by his side. The one who picks him up on drunken nights and sleeps with him in ungodly hours. The one who comes back to light the fire of hope in his heart and watches him be consumed by the fires he creaetd. He wants Alhaitham- 

He needs Alhaitham.

With that, he carefully opens the tube of lip tin in his hands. The glossy color of red reminds him of the passion he held for arts. Maybe in some way, he wants to let Alhaitham know that he needs him like he needs art. He needs him to be there by his side the same way he needs art to create life. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to steel himself. He’s about to do it, he’s about to pour all his desires onto himself and drown in it. With the lip brush in hand, he makes sure to smear a generous amount on his lips. His heart won’t settle down. It’s pounding against his chest as he reaches out his left hand to touch Alhaitham’s face. Making sure to keep his touch as light as a feather. He leans in closer, shivering when Alhaithams breath brushes against his ear. He gently places a soft kiss just right beside his chapped lips. He leans back to admire his work and mentally pats himself on the back. It looks perfect on him. The kiss mark is evident with the way it contrasts against his olive skin. Kaveh cries, tears falling down his cheeks as he licks the remaining lip tint that is burning on his lips. Alhaitham is just too perfect. 

He lays his head on Alhaitham’s chest. He’s done it, he’s done the impossible  He gazes up at Alhaitham’s sleeping face. Wondering just how many times must this man crumble his world of misery. How does he make him feel so alive? It is a blessing to feel his breaths rise up and down, his heartbeat beating beneath his cheek. This man is so perfect that it hurts for an artist like him to destroy it with a kiss. His perfect muse is tarnished by a human. At the same time, he cannot believe it. He lives with an intelligent man whose words would wrap around Kaveh in a bittersweet embrace. He has all his attention captured with every argument Kaveh can come up with. He is the ideal man of everyone’s dreams and Kaveh has him in his hands. Every touch he gives makes Kaveh crave for more. Every word he tells him soothes his pain and Kaveh? All he can give his miseries and sorrow. Offers him his shattered heart and he holds it- cradles it in his hands like it is precious. Alhaitham who stays despite the rift, the bridge they refuse to acknowledge or rebuild. 

Alhaitham deserves better. This muse of his, this man of his life desires. He deserves better than a broken debt-ridden artist. He should’ve settled with someone else, someone who is just as perfect as him. Someone who does not bicker or nag him around. Another artist that can recreate his beauty. Someone who can map out his face without any mistakes the first try. He deserves someone better than him. But at the same time, Kaveh will not let him go. He will not hand him off to another artist. Because Kaveh is an artist, with a muse like him living by his side. He can accomplish another kind of creation, something that can surpass this world’s worth. Because Kaveh needs Alhaitham.

He is an artist. The greediest one to live. 

Kaveh slowly rises on his hands. Hovering over Alhaitham asleep, he wonders, what would he think when he wakes up. He takes his tube of lip tint and smears more on his lips, to the point where it almost drips onto Alhaitham’s abs. He wipes away that small drip, intent on not getting a smidge of a mistake on Alhaitham. The canvas before him doesn’t deserve an imperfection. It deserves perfect marks of an architect’s kiss that plant themselves on planned paths. One starts on the corner just below of his green diamond gem. He follows along to the left of his breast before planting one on each nipple. He is drunk on his greed, his desire to make this man his. His lips are reapplied once more with a generous coating before he leans over to his left arm. He places two kisses there, silently thanking these firm muscles for carrying him home. His right arm is kissed with a firm mark. It was always this arm that crowds around Kaveh’s space before he is pulled in for a warm embrace from the scribe. By this point, Kaveh is breathing heavily. Lightheaded as he finally got to live out his deepest desire. He rests his head to catch a breather before he’s back to hovering over Alhaitham. He counts his kiss marks. One by his lips, two, three- five, nine marks are planted. 

Looking down, he licks his lips when his eyes land on his abs. He drops down to kiss two marks on it. Ah. His mind is hazy from the feeling of success prickling his skin. He greedily takes his tongue out to trace the middle of his abs down to his navel. His saliva glistens under the moonlight, he swipes a few licks on his stomach. He takes the garter of his pajamas to bring it down enough to plant a wet kiss slightly above his crotch. 

It takes Kaveh a great effort to extract himself from Alhaitham. He examines his marks, how it brings out the sharp lines and soft edges of his body. His hands are twitching, wanting to draw this moment, burn it in his brain and make sure to never forget the opportunity he was given. He smiles so wide that his cheeks are aching. He scoots over to the other side of Alhaitham’s bed. He feels giddy and joyful, swings his legs up and down like a child. He snatches back the tube of lip tint and brings it up to the moonlight. The way it shines a red hue in his eye gives him a sick pleasure running down his arms. He should write a letter soon to Mrs. Castex that this product is successful. Not only does it tint your lips a deep and seductive red, it is a great product for painting… And marking. He can still feel his lips aching from the intense cooling burn of the lip tint. And the thought of doing these indecent things to Alhaitham again sends a jolt of delight in his aching lips. 

“You sure enjoyed yourself thoroughly, Senior.” 

He looks back with giggle, a cheshire grin. “Whatever do you mean, Junior~?”  He crosses his legs haughtily as he stares up at Alhaitham— His Alhaitham. Painted in his marks littered around his body like the stars that connect the constellation. He giggles once more, so utterly pleased with how Alhaitham towers over him from where he kneels. The hot weather of Sumeruian nights seems to enhance the divine look on Alhaitham. A bit of sweat slowly trickles down the side of his head. Kaveh himself looks up with a grin before his expression turns shocked in an instant. Almost like he had expected the unexpected but is not prepared for it. He gulps in anticipation when all he can see is the dark stare Alhaitham gives him. That stare either full of anger or full of desire. 

Alhaitham is almost taken aback by the sly grin on Kaveh’s face. It’s quite hilarious in his eyes. An angel that blessed him with kisses, golden threads of hair framing a delicate face. Looking back at him with a devilish smirk and a greedy look in his eyes. Alhaitham finds it amusing to see the irony. 

“Was this your plan all along?” Alhaitham asks. In an instant, he pulls Kaveh towards him. The bed squeaks as he traps Kaveh beneath him, his arms resting on either side of his head to trap him. At the same time, he takes notice of the way Kaveh looks up at him like he’s hung the stars up and gave him the moon. Alhaitham feels his tongue go dry and his heart beat faster in his chest. This angel, the angel he’s been chasing for years and years is finally in his arms. All sprawled out on his bed, bathed in the ethereal moonlight. Looking up at him like he was the god he serves, with red carmine eyes wide awake. Skin flushes from the hot Sumerian night and breathing heavy from the blessings he bestowed onto Alhaitham.

“To tease me while I sleep?” He says, leaning in closer to his ear. His breaths tickling Kaveh’s neck and sending goosebumps down his skin. “Kissing me like you worship me, angel? Is that what you were up to?” Kaveh’s breathing turns heavier. Squirming at the intimate contact and the words that burn through his soul. Alhaitham has to restrain his hands that scramble to escape him. He whines in protest, fighting back in a futile attempt against a so-called feeble scholar. Alhaitham has to pin down his arms and rest his forehead against his, forcing Kaveh to look him in the eyes. “Tell me Kaveh, was it your plan to enjoy yourself without me knowing?” 

An observation he takes notes of when staring into his eyes is how evident Kaveh’s irises shake. How he has to swallow and weakly exhale with trembling efforts. It takes a few hesitating seconds for Kaveh to answer with a very meek nod. “…yes…” 

Archons, has Kaveh always been this obedient? That fiery blond with a short fuse would have snapped at him by now. He would have defended himself or redirected the conversation away from him. He would have fought back even more to try and escape his hold. Denying over and over again the evidence Alhaitham has presented to him. Instead, this man with wine wafting through his shirt is letting himself be pinned down to the bed. Trapping himself between the bed and his body.

And it makes him wonder if he should go on. All the possibilities Alahitham has thought of, this is the least expected scenario he saw. Because it would be wrong of him to continue. It would be a crime against their relationship if Alhaitham tread on the blurry lines they have established. However he reasons with himself that Kaveh had stepped on it first. That Kaveh had wiped off the lines with his foot and flung himself onto him. For Alhaitham, it’s only right to reciprocate his actions. He is a human filled with desire. The opportunity he has right now is currently whining, his hips brushing against him to rub his hard on. Fuck this man is going to be the death of me. 

“Maybe I should punish you, Senior.” Alhaitham murmurs against his neck. He licks a long strip up Kaveh’s neck, laying his tongue on his pulse. Alhaitham leaves a trail of butterfly kisses up his neck, nipping his ear a little bit. Overjoyed at hearing those heavy breaths turn ragged by his teasings. 

“May-Maybe you should…” Kaveh whispers back. Alhaitham shifts his grips on his arms, lifting Kaveh up with ease to prop him up on his pillows. Fuck. Why does this man have to be so enticing- so utterly sinful. Alhaitham has to hold back another shudder when a filthy lick of heat crawls its way up his spine. Kaveh is still breathing heavily, licking his lips once and a while. A soft glittering layer of saliva coats his pretty red lips. Staring up at him with the same desire he has in his eyes. 

Alhaitham swallows a pit of anxiety into his throat. Everything they’re doing, it all feels wrong but oh so right. They’re crossing borders that are never meant to be crossed. They are doing things out of mind and in the moment, no thoughts just desire and instincts. It's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. 

“Tell me you want this.” Alhaitham whispers to Kaveh lips. He doesn't realize he is that close until he feels Kaveh suck in a breath. “…push me away now or else I won’t stop.” Kaveh can feel the words on his lips to their breaths syncing in with their desires. 

There is a moment when carmine eyes meet teal ones, before Alhaitham gently brushes their lips together. Closing his eyes as he savors the soft lips touching his. His grip loosening as both him and Kaveh experience a moment only reserved for themselves. Archons- his lips are what Alhatiham imagines it to be. They are softer than the flower petals he rubs between his fingers. He smells a hint of strawberries when he shifts his lips to another angle. Never letting another second, another year, another decade separate them again. 

Fuck. This is what Alhaitham has been dreaming of since their Akademiya days. This is what he’s been missing the entire time. How long has he imagined this scenario since his junior days? How long has he longed to tangle his fingers between those golden strands? How long has he dreamed of fucking this man beneath him? If this is a dream, it’s a dream Alhaitham is willing to take advantage of. Even if it means not having this man in his arms when he wakes. But the taste of strawberries on his tongue and the smell of Padisarah perfume is enough to let Alhaitham know that this is real. This man beneath him, the man he’s kissing, is real.

When he pulls away to catch his breath, he can’t help but love him the way he’s always had. 

When they pull away, Kaveh whines, tears glazing his eyes. It feels too much for him. The way Alhaitham kisses is so tender and so loving, so patient and understanding. So very unlike the brash and prickly Alhaitham he knows. The way he looks at him with such a tender look is so foreign. And he doesn’t deserve it, Kaveh doesn’t deserve that look. Does Alhaitham not see? He had defiled him- had taken advantage of him when he was asleep. Why is he looking at him like he’d built the Sanctuaries and the Temples? Why is he looking at him longingly with that fond and loving look?  

It is painful to hear himself sob. No less even feel it get caught in his throat. He can hear himself cry out from the amount of emotions piling up in his chest. This time, Kaveh hooks his arm around Alhaitham’s neck and captures his mouth in a searingly hot kiss. The one that makes your insides melt from lack of oxygen they refuse to breathe in. The hot honey dripping from their tongues burns their skin. Their lungs screaming for air as Kaveh sloppily tries to hold on to their kisses. 

“Kaveh-” Kaveh doesn’t give Alhaitham a moment to speak nor a moment to break this illusion he has. He merely pulls him back to the kiss, tongue intertwining with his in desperation. 

Alhaitham has to force himself to pull away. His lips taste like the salty tears from Kaveh’s eyes. He has to tug at his hair to avoid being pulled back in. “Kaveh.” He says, breathless and worried. What happened? Why is he crying? It breaks his heart to pieces when Kaveh responds back with a sob. The kind of sob that wracks through your body and hiccups through his throat. “Kaveh please, what’s wrong?” He asks, had he done something to him? Did he hurt Kaveh? Archons forbid he’ll never forgive himself if he did. He’s done it once, he won’t do it twice. 

“Kaveh-.”

“…why?” 

Alhaitham rests his hand on Kaveh’s cheek. His hand curled around his hair loosens to join his other hand to cup his face. “Why what?” He asks back, his thumb gently caressing his cheek. Wiping away the tears overflowing from those pretty ruby eyes. Even when he cries, Alhaitham can see how alluring Kaveh is. Where most might find it disgusting for him to cry, Alhaitham can see the real Kaveh beneath the tears, the Kaveh that is insecure and broken. 

“Why do you look at me like- like that?” 

Alhaitham pauses his movement, what does Kaveh mean? Is it the loving look he’s giving? Is it the soft look he has in his eyes when he stares at the sun in his arms? The angel he has trapped in his arms? “What do you mean, Kaveh?” 

“Why do you look at me like you love me.” Kaveh all but sobs out, his chest heaving as he cries. He cries and cries in his hands, tears flowing freely like a broken dam. “Like you actually want me here.” And if the cries didn’t break Alhaitham’s heart to pieces, the confession Kaveh makes shatters those pieces to dust. It hurts. It hurts more for him because he has always loved Kaveh since the very beginning. Had held that torch tightly for him and never allowed the burning embers to extinguish. He has always waited for Kaveh to approach him, to give him even a smidge of attention. He accommodated Kaveh, and had always put Kaveh’s needs before himself. To hear him doubt his affections, his touches, his love for him makes him want to burn the world, to get rid of the pain that riddled them both. 

“Why wouldn’t I love you?” Alhaitham scowls back, the pain in his chest hurts. The same way when his hands squishes Kaveh’s face in retaliation. Gripping his chin tightly in his hands as he emphasizes his words. “Why would I kiss you if I didn’t love you!”  

“But I took advantage of you!” Kaveh shouts back, shaking off his hands from his face to prop himself up. Sadness, regret, anger, every emotion Kaveh feels is present in his eyes. He The way he sobs with his entire body, doubling over in disgust. The kind of disgust not at Alhaitham but at himself. 

“I snuck into your room and started touching you! I defiled you! I- marked you and ruined your perfect skin, your perfect body. I- You should be hating me! You should be angry, disgusted because fuck I’m such a horrible person.” Kaveh sobs out. “I- How can you love me when I’m like this, Alhaitham?” Kaveh says, gesturing to all of himself. 

“How-.” 

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” That gets Kaveh to shut up. Alhaitham has never felt anger like this. The ice cold anger that freezes his blood and makes way for the rage that starts to boil in his heart. Because how dare Kaveh see himself like this. Like he is unworthy of love. Like he is meant to suffer alone forever. He has spent years and years waiting for him and when he is finally in his arms, he doesn’t get to pull away. He doesn’t get to have the chance to escape him again. Not again.

“You don’t get to tell me what I should feel, what I should be doing. So don’t you dare doubt my feelings for you.”  Alhaitham starts, forcing Kaveh by the chin to look at him straight into his teal eyes. “You don’t know how long I dreamed of this. How agonizing it was to not kiss you every time you cook me meals or sit beside me talking about your day.” He gives a chaste kiss to his right eyes. 

“I always wanted to do this ever since you talked to me in the House of Daena.” Another kiss on his nose.

“I always wanted to tell you that you don’t need to prove yourself to me.” A kiss on his cheek.

“I let you drink till you forget your pain. I let you sleep with me when you're distressed, I let you fill my ears with the noise only I can tolerate. Hell, I even let you fix my headphones and make me new ones when you feel like it, Kaveh.” A kiss just beside his lips. 

“Because I love you.” By this point, both of them are in tears. It is one of the only times Alhaihtam sheds a tear and this man is one of the people he’d let himself be vulnerable to. "Please believe me when I say that I-.” Alhaitham pauses. He tries to gather up all the years of love and devotion he has for Kaveh. He pours all of it in a cup and coats all those words in it to get his words across. 

“I truly and utterly love you Kaveh.” 

And Kaveh does. He does believe him when he hears him say it with such profound reverence. He does believe him when kisses his tears and his worries away. Washes his doubts in his love and leaves behind the devotion he has for him. By this point, Kaveh is sobbing again. Not from pain, nor sadness or anger. No. He’s weeping from how happy he is, how unbelievably lucky he’s become to be worshipped by the man he chased after. He’s rendered speechless by how patient and loving Alhaitham is and he wonders just how he got so lucky.  

He hiccups through the sobs that try to tear a hole in his chest. Takes a few breaths to center himself to respond back. Gulping down his anxiety and worries because Alhaitham is here. He should say the words as easily as he did. Yet why is he struggling to let those words pour out of his mouth? Alhaitham has said those words as easily as he could berate Kaveh for his awful choice of clients. He sobs in frustration when the words are caught in his throat. 

“I-.” He starts, stumbling over his words to get those words out. And fuck, it breaks him apart when Alhaitham gazes at him with all his attention. He merely holds his face in his hands like he’s holding the world in his palms. He waits for him to say the words he wants to say. Not minding his attempts, stumbling and gurgling through his tears to say the words. He’s just there, patient and loving him every second he’s awake. 

“I love you too, Haiyi.” He whispers to him, like a secret that should only be shared to Alhaitham. “I really love you too.” He weeps into the palm of his calloused hands. Kaveh’s hands come to cradle Alahtiham’s resting on his face. He nuzzles into it, allowing his lover to brush away the tears on his face. He can Alhaitham shift before his chapped lips meet his. This time, when they kiss, it’s gentler. Less hurried and desperate because they take their time to savor each other’s presence. Now that they know what their hearts want, they finally slow down to experience the present together. 

Alhaitham has a hard time trying not to devour Kaveh. His tongue pries Kaveh’s lips loose, slipping into his mouth to delicately press their mouths closer. Their tongues sliding together in a slow, sensual motion that has Kaveh moaning. His legs flexing on either side of Alahitham’s hips and the delicious scrape of his fingernails digging into his hands. He has to keep Kaveh in place when he tries to take over. His attempts to quicken the pace or rush through the moment are halted by Alhaitham’s hand moving to take hold of blond tresses. 

For Kaveh, it’s unsurprising for him to know now that Alhaihtm is a great kisser. Presing deep into the architect as he settles with a slow but sensual tempo. His teeth sometimes clack against his, but it somehow does the job of stealing the very little air from his lungs. And not only that, it’s good. 

It’s really good.

There’s no way of telling how long they stay like that: making out against the sea of pillows on his bed. One thing Kaveh does know is that the familiar heat is burning in his stomach, It leaves him aching and craving for something or rather- someone to relieve it for him.  

“Someone down here is excited.” Kaveh murmurs on Alhaitham’s lips. Acknowledging the tent forming in his pajamas. He brings both his arms up to curl around Alhaitham’s chest. Moving his hips up to drag both their hard ons together. Sending pulses of pleasure twisting deeper in his gut. 

“That’s because you're here.” Alhaitham murmurs back, breaking the kiss to trail butterfly kisses down his neck. He tugs at his shirt, trying to get him to take it off. He doesn’t have much of a choice when he is manhandled into stripping. Suddenly, lips attack his skin with little purple-red roses, leaving messy marks just like this messy man lathering him in saliva. Kaveh jumps at the sudden pain blooming on his neck, realizing that Alhaitham sunk his teeth in. He brings the back of his hand up to muffle his moans, whining at how good Alhaitham is making him feel.

Alhaihtam’s hands wander and grope at every area he can touch, before settling on his hips.. “Hah- don’t.” Alhaitham all but growls, .”Let me hear you.” He says as he kisses his way down to his hiccuping chest. Kaveh gasps when Alhaitham licks around his nipple, latching onto the sensitive nub. Kaveh’s hand find its way to silvery locks, clutching at it as Alhaitham makes a point to bite lightly around the pink bud in his mouth. He lays his tongue on his nipple, gazing at him with that hungry look in his eyes. His other hand comes up to tug at the other sensitive nub. Rolling it between his fingers, thumbing at it and scraping it lightly with his fingernail. 

His reward? The sweet desperate moans Kaveh lets out from his mouth. The sharp pain from his scalp as his hand bunches up and twists with a handful of his hair in his grasp. “Oh- oh, mmn-! Ha-haiyi. Ah-Ngh~”

Alhaitham pulls back once more, the string of saliva breaks apart from the distance. His breaths are ragged, heavy with arousal pooling in his stomach. He shoves his face into Kaveh’s abdomen hoping to stave off the growing heat in his body. He can tell that he’s close to cumming. Everything about Kaveh just makes him lose all his senses and brings out a different side of himself. Every needy moan and sobbing whine has the erection in his pants throbbing in pain. He wants to cum- fuck he wants to cum. 

Not yet, he wants to cum inside Kaveh. He has to be patient, he wants to build up the arousal within them. He wants to leave Kaveh shaking and craving for more before he starts to fuck him. 

So he goes back to his trail of kisses he left on his cheste. Going lower and lower until he can shuck off Kaveh’s pants . Practically ripping the fabric a bit at his rush to sttrip Kaveh bare naked. Alhaitham’s hands shoves itself inside his pants. Practically ripping the fabric a bit at his rush to strip his bare naked like a newborn. 

“Wai-Haiyi- don’t ru-augh~!” He is a beast. A literal beast. This man he has always known to have the best restraint on himself is different with those chains off. The way he grabs his ankles and drags him closer, almost folding him in half out of desperation to keep him close. “Ha-!” He’s breathless, and even more so when Alhaitham makes sure to give his lips attention. His hands shoving itself between his legs forcing his thighs to part further. 

“No underwear, Senior? You sure are a desperate to be fucked if you went out like this.”

“Ah! Oh- oh fuck-!” Kaveh tries to strain his voice lower, not wanting to be too loud to drown out the little grunts and groans Alhaitham makes. Fuck, where did Alhaitham learn this?! He squeezes the meat of his thighs in his hands. Jiggling the fat that spills out between his fingers. He had swiftly leaned down enough to take a bite of his thighs. Licking the area close to his crotch, kissing it and licking it up like sweetcandy. 

“Haiyi!” His hands had made a home in his silver locks. Tugging at it when he bites a bit too hard on his thighs. Leaving a very red mark on his skin. Painful as it is, the pleasure floods back when he starts to suck on his inner thighs. He keens when his teeth take hold of flesh, gnawing at it like a dog bone to chew on. He cries out in pleasure, his back arching up to chase after the feeling all the while trying to coax Alhaitham to relieve the pain in his cock standing proudly between them. 

“Plea-.” He gasps in shock when he feels his tongue lick up his thighs. Trailing a path towards his cock before it feels it prodding at his hole. Oh Celestia. It's all too much for him to keep track of where Alhaitham is. One moment he is prodding at his hole with his tongue, next thing you know he’s suddenly appearing in his vision. 

He hiccups through a breath, his eyes are watery from their crying session and the onslaught of pleasure he’s been subjected to for the past hours. Minutes actually. His breath is stolen by him kissing him again. Light, chaste and sweet. The heat in his stomach is a flickering light slowly growing stronger with each passing second. He moans a bit into the kiss when Alhaitham ruts his hard on on his own. 

“I wanna fuck you-.” He manages to say with a strained tone, thick with lust. A deep flush colouring his skin; disappearing down his chest. He looks so disheveled and dazed with his pupils blown out with lust. He licks his slightly swollen lips and holds his gaze with Kaveh.  

“Please.” 

Is all it takes for Alhaitham to manhandle him again. This time he drags him in, towards him. Forcing his legs apart, the painful stretch of his inflexible limbs has him crying out in pain. But fucking hell, the pain mixes in with the sudden blooming arousal that spreads from the kisses he lays on his calves. It has him reeling in from the shock and the realization that this man can practically bench press him every day. He has to look away in embarrassment as Alhaitham holds his ankle up in his hand. Licking it sensually as he trails wet kisses down his leg. 

His fingers prodding at his hole as he distracts Kaveh with kisses on his leg that’s resting on his shoulder. Fuck he looks so handsome.

“WaI- Haiyi. L-lub-NGH!” His warning falls on deaf ears. He didn’t even see Alhaitham move away to swipe a bottle of lube from his drawer. Nor did he hear the loud pop of the bottle opening. All he knows is the icy cold liquid dripping onto his hole makes him jump. Before an intense pleasure rips through him from his fingers digging inside him. 

Archons, his Haiyi’s hands are so big. 

Bigger than his own hands. His fingers are long, thick and calloused from years of writing and reading. And not only that, they’re rougher from the swordsmanship he learned throughout the years. 

They feel so- so good against his skin. 

Especially when it drives inside of him. Fucking his fingers into his ass with only two- archons he doesn’t even have all of his fingers in him and he’s this wrecked. “Na-ngmmmm….” He whines when his fingers curls against his prostate, intent on giving it a harsher scrape each and every time it buries itself back inside him. It’s as brutal as it is delightfully toe-curling delicious. It leaves him aching as punishing throbs of pleasure punches a breath out of his lungs. He has to hang onto Alhaitham’s arms, as his fingers work their way to skillfully unravel himself. 

The sounds that echo through the quiet room are too much to hear. Loud, wet squelching and dripping from his ass. The little grunts and groans his Haiyi lets out rumble through his chest and pusles through him where he embraces him. Holding onto him like a lifeline as he picks up the pace. Pleasure and shame build up so fiercely that he loses the strength to hold on to him. He merely lays there beneath him, whimpering and squirming in the bigger man’s grip. 

“Hai-iyi-.” He’s trembling like a leaf. He feels hot, speaks of pleasure crawling up his spine with each press of Alhaitham’s fingers in his prostate. “Ngah!” A particular angle has his thighs quaking, shivers wracking across his sweat kissed skin. 

“Mo-more.” He stutters out. He can’t stand it much longer. The arousal that slowly built up, coiled tight inside him is making it hard to breathe. He knows the sensation from years of fucking himself silly with his own fingers and toys. The tight knot of pleasure that threatens to burst inside of him and leave him jolting in blinding pleasure. He’s so close, he’s so close to the edge. He needs more. “I- please! I need more.” He’s practically sobbing at this point, begging for Alhaitham to quicken the pace. To drive his fingers harder and faster, make him orgasm from his fingers. 

“No.” 

And Kaveh wails. He wails in desperation, chasing after the fingers that suddenly left him empty and needy. The tiny tremors running through his body have him sobbing at the intense sensations that came and went as quickly as the wind. “You get to come on my cock, and my cock only.” Alhaitham says, kissing him on the forehead. And Kaveh is still lost to the sensation, gasping into the bed sheets from the sudden change. 

“Shh..” Alhaitham hugs him, wraps his arms around his waist and whispers in his ear. “Take a deep breath.” His hand rubs against the base of his spine, slow and comforting. It takes him a moment to come back down from that building edge of pleasure. Teetering between pain and pleasure. It becomes bearable in a few seconds, breathing hard into the crook of Alhaitham’s neck. Struggling to claw back a hint of composure to come back to reality. The hand on his spine moves in small, gentle circles, trying to ground him down from floating away too far. 

“Are you okay?” Alhaitham asks, leaning up to press a kiss on his cheek. 

He nods, trying to focus on the haggard breaths coming from his chest. 

“Your words, Princess.” Princess? Fuck, he’s going to nicknames now. And he doesn’t like the way his arousal spikes up from the nickname. It’s the sinful heat that spreads through his body and leaves him feeling vulnerable in all the right ways. “Y-Yes.” He stutters out, unwilling to give him a look of how that nickname had him craving for more. He’ll never live it down and he for sure knows Alhaitham enough that he’ll tease him every moment he gets. 

“Good.” Alhaitham shifts back up to place a quick kiss on his cheek. “I can’t wait to fuck you.” He whispers in his ear. Adding another chaste kiss for effect before pulling away from him eliciting a whine from Kaveh. 

Kaveh always knew that Alhaitham was handsome. His sketchbooks were always filled with doodles and imitations of Alhaitham. The colors he used as mock ups would involve shades of teal and green. There were times where he would time his arguments correctly to barge into Alhaitham’s room. Catching him wet and dripping from a hot shower, his lower half wrapped in a tight towel. It was one of the moments Kaveh would do to gain inspiration for his works. Yet, those times were during his pining. Moments where he longed and yearned for Alhaitham. 

This time however, watching Alhaitham undress before him is a one-of-a-kind moment Kaveh would forever engrave in his mind. His hand catches the fabric between his fingers and pulls off the offending material off his body in one fluid motion.He throws his pajama trousers aside, quick to pull off his underwear too. And fuck- Witnessing how his cock springs out of its confine is so erotic. The smear of pre-cum on his stomach makes Kaveh want to lick it off, he wants to have a taste. Especially when copious amounts of pre-cum dribbles down his length, dripping onto his stomach. He shivers when he feels the hot liquid meet his damp skin. It feels so hot, it’s like lava on his skin. He moves his eyes back up to meet Alhaitham’s, looking at him with a dark hungry look in his eyes. It makes Kaveh drool just a bit, in his mind however, he’s bleeding a river from his nose. 

Those calloused hands are digging back into his plump thighs. Forcing him to strain his legs even more to keep himself spread open for him. “Stay like that, Princess.” He orders- no. He instructs him to obey, giving him a choice he doesn’t command him. His tone sounds different, he’s heard his commanding voice in the Akademiya Office. It doesn’t hold the same authority he’d lace in his tongue. This one is soft, patient and… different. The kind of different that doesn’t make him feel like a slave or an employee. He sounds like his lover. Which gives a whole new emotion swelling in his heart. 

“Ple-Please-.” Kaveh hiccups out, hands holding onto his thighs with a tight grip. “Be patient.” Is all he hears and he sobs in anticipation. The heat pooling in his stomach is burning inside and out. And it feels unbearable to stay like this, almost like he’s- he’s presenting himself- to Alhatiham. But at the same time, he wants to be good for Alhaitham- he wants to be good! 

He jumps when he feels his hands holding onto his hips. Before moaning when his weeping cock rubs against Alhatiham’s. He legs twitch and flex as Alhaitham rubs his cock against his in a slow, tantalizing manner. Teasing him as he slips it down to his hole, feeling the tip strain to stretch him open. But it slips away, going back up to grind against his cock with a soft drag that sends a jolt up his spine. 

His junior is so mean-! Teasing him when he knows full well how much he wants this, how much he needs him inside him, filling his hole up with his thick girthy cock rubbing against him. The heat in stomach is burning so much but it doesn’t snap, it doesn’t let him go over the edge of a blinding orgasm. He just keeps building it up, and up until he can’t handle the heat spreading to his chest and burning a mark in his soul.  

“Hai-Haiyi.” He sobs, his hips trying to rub against his cock while trying to stay still at the same time. “Ple-Pleas- fill- please-!” He’s weeping at this point, his mouth trying to voice out his pleas to beg and ask him to fill him up. He’s been good- he’s been good. 

He whimpers, a strangled gasp knocked out of his lips when he feels himself being filled up slowly.  He has to force himself down onto the mattress when the head of his cock pops itself inside his rim. Before the long and slow drag of his cock stretching him inside. Filling him up until he can feel his throat constrict until he’s grappling to breathe in air. He whines. The overwhelming pleasure flooding his senses is intense. The tears in his eyes blurs his vision as he has to tighten his hold on his thighs for security. 

Kaveh has a hard time adjusting to the size of his cock spearing him open becuaese fucking hell-! He feels so big, just sitting inside him. He can feel the shape of it in his stomach and in his throat. His breath hitches as Alhaitham ruts into him in slow and deliberate thrusts. The mind-numbing pleasure flares up the heat in his abdomen. A few careful thrusts, tentative and almost exploratory as he takes his time with him. 

“Ngh-Ah…!” Kaveh hiccups, moans and gasps, trying to get his breathing under control. 

This annoying junior of his really wants to break him. It’s a struggle to keep himself together as Alhaitham moves on to slowly pull out until the head of his cock catches at the rim. Before slamming back in with so much force it pushes him up the pillows. His junior’s breath is hot and desperate and the drool from his mouth hits his skin, making him jump as his senses are assaulted in random intervals. Clawing down his thighs, he can feel the marks he’s making on his legs the same way he can feel Alhaitham scratching his hips. 

It isn’t long until Alhaihtam gets tired of teasing him. Kaveh can tell from the way he stopped, taking a moment to realign himself. He can feel the twitch and the throbbing pleasure and the deep grunting from the man above him. 

It’s a shame he doesn’t have time to prepare himself. 

He is dragged in to be crammed into Alhaitham’s arms. Hiccuping as his cock slams back inside him, filling him up until the hilt. It’s rubbing against his prostate in a way that makes his whole body shake. Sparks of pleasure creeping up his spine as he sets a steady rhythm. He’s so wound up. His neglected cock still aching, bouncing heavily between his legs, twitching with each thrust inside of him. 

Fuck it’s not enough- it’s not engouh. 

“Mo-more-.” Kaveh gasps out, arching his back into Alhaitham, trying to take over the rhythm he set. He wants more- Archons he wants more. “Want more- Haiyi, please!”

“So impatient.” Alhaitham snarks, snatching his arm to remove his thigh from his grip. Pulling at it until he lifts Kaveh up until he’s half-sitting on the bed and on his cock. “You are so insatiable, Princess.” 

It’s all the warning Kaveh gets before he pounds into Kaveh in a way that has him bouncing on his cock. He feels helpless as he clings onto Alhaitham like a leech. Arms struggling to wrap around his hug frame, hands trying and failing to hold onto his shoulders. He’s just there, plastered on his skin and holding on for dear life. He feels vulnerable, barely able to do anything but clench his hands and brace himself for the onslaught of pleasure filling his bones. 

Each slap of Alhaihtam’s hips against his ass comes with a deep moan in his ears. The kind that shakes through his core and sends a molten surge of pleasure in him. He can’t keep up with the brutal pace as Alhaihtam doesn’t give him any mercy. The way he moves his head to the side to kiss and lick his ear. Sending another lick of arousal as he listens closely to the wet saliva invading his ear, the tongue that teases his lobe and dips inside his ear canal. He squirms in his grip, desperately trying to hold on longer as he can feels the impending orgasm threatening to break. He’s so close-!

He knocks his head back, trying to rip himself away from the filthy noise. He leans in to press his forehead against Alhaitham’s, the violent heaving of his chest hits his lips. He whines when Alhiatham shifts his position to thrust his hips up until he’s hiccuping. He’s so happy, so good, it feels all too good for Kaveh. He presses a kiss on his lips, heart burning from the lack of oxygen in his lungs. 

“Tha-Thank yo-!” He gasps out between the kisses. He can feel it, he’s so close. The head spinning pleasure trembling in his body as the violent jabs of ecstasy punch him deep inside his gut. He feels filthy. His face is wet from the tears that rolled down his cheek and the sweat layering his body. Stomach turning over itself as the knot threatens to snap at any moment. Fuck!

 “I-I love you. Haiyi, ngh-! I love you!” Kaveh wails out, His whole body jerks in his hold when his orgas rips into him, blinding white stars cover his vision. He almost leans back like a puppet that got its string cut. He clenches down on Alhaihtam cock, jolting as he feels him pick up the pace faster. 

“I-I love you,” Alhaitham’s hips stutter a bit when Kaveh lock up in his hold He has to hold onto him tightly when Kaveh crumples into his chest, sobbing at the intense orgasm tearing him inside and out. “Kaveh I love you too-” He slams deep inside Kaveh, filling him up until he’s spasming in his hold.  He groans when he feels his orgasm wash over him, and the feeling of Kaveh tightening his hole. Almost like he wants to milk his cock dry. 

He takes a few minutes, feeling their pounding hearts in their chest. Holding onto Kaveh as he hiccups and gasps, tightening his arms when he tries to move a bit more. 

When he feels like he’s had enough of a rest, he pecks Kaveh on the cheek. Wanting to give him a bit more comfort before he sits up a bit on his knees, dumping Kaveh on the bed. Hissing as he forgot how sensitive the both of them are. He listens to Kaveh let out a wet moan as he bounces back onto the pillows, his sultry hold clamping at the pleasure that hikes up his body again. 

He leans back to see how debauched Kaveh looks. Blond hair a mess, cheeks ruddy and red with tears decorating the sheen of sweat on his skin. He looks back down onto his stomach where he finds him still dripping from the orgasm. The ribbons of cum painting his skin, on his abdomen reaching his chest. He looks at himself and realizes that the same was on him, sticking to him. Alhaitham hovers above him, kissing him deeply, gently dragging his cock out of Kaveh. Swallowing all the protesting groans as he pulls out, a bit of cum dribbling out of his hole. When he breaks the kiss, he looks at Kaveh one more time, appreciating just how beautiful he is, how this opportunity he was given was worthwhile. 

Alhaitham collapses on the pillows, right beside Kaveh. Kaveh himself is lying snugly between his pillows with cum still clinging to his skin. Heaving like he’s having an asthma attack, dazed from their love-making session. Alhaitham wraps his arms around him, slowing his breath deliberately to have Kaveh match his breathing.  Hands coming to stroke his back comfortingly. Waiting patiently for Kaveh to calm down to coherently talk to him sober. And definitely not drunk on his love.

“Heheh~.”

Kaveh chuckles, having calmed down. “What are you laughing about?” Alhatham asks, amused at how anything Kaveh does makes him fall in love with him more. 

“I never imagined things would turn out like this…” Kaveh admits quietly, a somber look in his eyes as he looks off far into the distance where Alhaitham can’t reach. What does Kaveh mean by that… Is he talking about their relationship? The sex they did? For someone as rational as Alhaitham, he overthinks just as extreme as Kaveh. With that, he props himself up on one arm to properly address Kaveh. “By that, you mean…?” Alhaitham trails off, hoping that Kaveh would fill in the blanks he’s missing. He’d really love to know what he’s thinking now, with their heart peeled off of any layers. 

“I never thought we’d be fucking right after confessing.” Kaveh laughs wholeheartedly, it just amuses him so much how quickly their relationship had progressed. It makes something inside Alhaitham to be embarrassed. A little flustered at the admission but at the same time, he doesn’t have much experience in romance like his Senior. 

“Are you blushing~?” Kaveh teasingly asks, a giggle following right after when Alhaitham plops back down on the bed. Eyes refusing to meet him. 

“Shut up…” He does not pout, no matter how much Kaveh teases him with a pinch to his cheek and a kiss on his forehead. He merely murmurs it beneath his breath before pulling Kaveh into an embrace. 

Kaveh chuckles again, scooting closer into the embrace until his head rests on Alhaitham’s chest. His ear directly beneath his heart, listening to it beat with life. 

“…”

“…”

“What now, Haiyi?” He asks, a hopeful look in his tone. From where he rests on his chest, Alhaitham can’t see the scared and bitter look in his carmine eyes. Alhaitham thinks for a moment. What now? If anything, there’s nothing right now. They confessed, they had sex, although they did skip a few steps into marriage but that would be for another day. Why would he ask that, is there something wrong with what they had done? Have they skipped so many steps that the regret in Kaveh is finally settling in his conscience?

“Are you… Are you upset?” Alhaitham asks. Is he upset at him? Why else would he ask that without expecting a specific answer. 

“No! No, no Haiyi, I’m not.” Kaveh shoots up from his place, leaning in to reassure Alhaitham that he’s not mad. “I’m really not Haiyi, I just…”

“I just… I-…” He trails off, coming back down to rest his chin on his chest. Neither turning away or avoiding his gaze, he’s just searchcing for the right words to ask. “I- wh-what are we now?” Kaveh asks sincerely, confusion brewing inside him and stirring a mix of emotions in Alhaitham’s. Are they not lovers? From the last thing he’s read about romance, usually people who have confessed are assumed to be lovers. At least, that only happens if both parties agree to having that kind of relationship. Does- Does Kaveh not want to be lovers? 

“Do you not… want to be lovers…?” Alhaitham asks, doubt in his heart and pain in his chest as he asks that. But the blush spreading across Kaveh’s cheeks gives him a bit of hope to light up in his chest. 

“Of course, I want to be! I just wanna make sure-.” Alhaitham cuts him off by pressing a kiss on his forehead. He lets his lips rest there, heavy and grounding. “I really love you Kaveh,” Alhaitham admits, the words flowing right off his lips easily. “I want to stay with you.” He murmurs back before giving back another kiss on his forehead. 

This throws Kaveh for a loop. Wondering just how long has he dreamed of this? How long has he imagined this scenario over and over again? Does Alhaitham really want to stay with him? Will he not be disgusted with him? Will he really love him just as he did tonight? Will he not regret it? 

“You… You really don’t mind being my boyfriend…?”

“Do you want me to fuck you again to prove my point?”

Flustered, Kaveh hits him lightly on the chest. Stuttering out excuses after excuses that become an incoherent reason to his thoughts. “I would love nothing more than to be your boyfriend, Kaveh.” Alhaitham admits, his hand pushing Kaveh up to place a kiss on his red lips. “The same way I would love nothing more than for you to be mine too.” 

Kaveh breathily laughs at that, “I love you too, Haiyi.” He says, “I would love to stay with you and your terrible interior designs.” 

Kaveh continues laughing before he abruptly squeaks in surprise. Shuddering as Alhaitham’s two hands snake down to take Kaveh’s ass into greedy palms. Fondling and squeezing as he shivers at the attention. “Wa-Wait!” Alhaitham ignores his plea, taking the time to squeeze it harshly. Before he kneads it with his finger, pressing deeply into the muscles. Kaveh squirms in his grip, red-faced and keening at the arousal pooling back in the pit of his stomach. 

“You are so endearingly annoying.” Alhaitham states. Watching as Kaveh comes undone from his hands and the overstimulation running in his veins. He really is twisted as he enjoys doing this for a few minutes, an evil smirk twitching to show itself on his face. 

“Haiy- Haiyi! It was a joke, plea-please, ‘m sensitive- ngh!”

“All the more reason to tease you more, Princess.” He wants to build back up the heat they shared just a few minutes ago. He wants Kaveh to understand how he won’t stop, how he won’t restrain himself again after years of patiently waiting. He just wants to love Kaveh and make up for the years he never got to do. 

Which is why Alhaitham is in the mood to tease him, until he’s shaking like a leaf. As his hands play with his ass, his mouth plays with his ear. He licks and nips at the flushed ears. Syncing his movements from both ends  to create the desired outcome of Kaveh moaning and clinging to him like a lifeline. Without warning, he lifts one of his hands up, only to bring it right back down. Hard.

“AH-!”

This elicits a sharp cry from Kaveh, left hand grappling to take hold of his shoulder. Nails digging into his skin as he ends up trembling, ears burning red and thighs tightening from the pain. Alhaitham smooths over his ass, paying extra attention to the burning spot he’d just slapped. “If you have the energy to doubt me, then you have the energy to 

“N-no wait- Haiyii-.” Kaveh tries to stop his hands. One hand gripping his wrist, weakly tugging at it with fading strength. Gasping when he tugs him up, dragging his body up against him. He can feel the filthy smear of cum spread on his stomach onto Alhaitham’s hip. He hiccups when he feels his fingers dig back inside his hole. He has to bite down on his lips as Alhaitham’s other hand comes to rearrange his legs to sprawl around his chest. 

“Let me love you more, Kaveh.” Alhaitham pleads, almost pouting up at him. Making sure to curl his fingers against his prostate and brush his fingers lightly against his back. “I want to show you just how much I longed for you.” He smiles up at him, knowing full well that the imperfect, ruined face he has on is enough to convince Kaveh to stay up all night. 

Kaveh is breathing heavily, half-sitting on Alhaitham’s chest. Being teased at by his boyfriend while he pouts up at him with puppy eyes. Why does his junior have to be so cute? His sly and coy junior is toying with him from behind like it’s an everyday habit while pouting up at him with pleading eyes. The closest he can get to him begging. Kaveh sits there, contemplating for a few seconds, almost sobbing when he takes a bit too long in his decision. 

Which is why it is to no one’s surprise when the inevitable outcome is him folding like wet paper. Nodding meekly as he is devoured once more by his new-found boyfriend and longtime crush. 

Poor Kaveh, a weak man for his junior. 

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

His eyes are the first to wake to the sunlight beaming down on him. The Sumeru sun has always been unforgiving, even more so in the desert. So you can imagine how harsh it is to the eyes when you wake up. He squints to adjust to the bright light and blinks away the remnants of drowsiness. The sunlight is so bright, it always makes his eyes burn. Nevermind the nights working with the lamplight, the sun always brought a different kind of pain. Yet… He doesn’t feel the need to complain about the sun right now.

Rather, he’s thankful for the sunlight to bless this man right beside him. Well, he should probably call him his boyfriend or his lover- His partner. It gives him a burst of joy blooming in his heart just admitting that new reality they brought. The light reflecting on his partner’s silver hair is brighter. It would be a joke to call him an angel despite his devilish nature. However the light makes his features softer.  

So this is what it feels like to have the forest and desert coexist. He imagined it would be their two worlds competing to conquer one another but it isn’t. When Kaveh closes his eyes, all he sees is an oasis. Cradled inside the divide between their two worlds. Instead of the flowers and the trees spreading their healthy roots into the dry dunes, it merely blooms new flowers on cactus. Instead of the desert drowning the shrubs and the vines in its grains, it merely offered gentle breezes and fluttering sands to keep them company.  They didn’t need to sacrifice their worlds for a, “better,” one. 

They just made space for the world they merged together. 

Kaveh smiles at the thought. They made space for themselves in their own worlds. One where they can be together and be separate without sacrificing their own needs and space. Kaveh is more than happy to sit in the oasis with Alhaitham resting peacefully. However, the Sumerian sun is glaring intensely from the window. It’s signaling for Kaveh to do the inevitable as the day goes on and on without them knowing. He sighs forlorn at the thought of leaving Alhaitham here on their bed. He’s spent his waking hours admiring his partner’s face. This time more lovingly, more open, more honest than the facade he’s been using. But they have a busy day today, or rather, it’s Alhaitham who has a busy day today. It’s Thursday today, which is one of the busiest days at his job. 

He props himself up to sit up. Looking back once more to the sleeping man beside him.  Unsure of whether he’s awake or not, he still does something even he himself is surprised to do. He leans down to kiss him on the forehead. A small greeting to start his day. 

He swings his legs to the side of the bed. Gripping the bedside table as a lifeline to aid him in standing up on shaky legs, Kaveh has to stop himself from falling. Damn this sexy man and his stamina. It’s difficult to try and walk right now but he makes due by hobbling his way to the kitchen. Where he starts the day with preparing a simple but hearty breakfast for the both of them. 

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

“ALSWPOEIU-” 

Kaveh yells out in surprise when he hears something slam down nearby. He whips around to see Alhaitham standing there. Fuck, he didn’t hear him come into the kitchen. What is he doing? He’s just standing there, hunched down with his hand planted firmly on the kitchen counter. He feels a bit nervous, why is he just standing there? 

 “A-Hai…yi?” Kaveh calls out but jumps back in fear when he peaks up through his silver locks. Judging by the heavy breaths he’s exhaling and the dark look in his eyes, Kaveh’s in trouble. Deep trouble. But He doesn’t even know what he did wrong! Did- Did he misinterpret his words last night? Were they said during the moment, not his truest desire? 

“Kaveh.” Alhaitham growls it out, voice hinting an unavoidable danger. “What did you use!?” Kaveh flinches at the guttural shout Alhaihtam had used. He’s not used to hearing that from Alhaitham but it quickly disappears when his eyes follow Alhaitham’s finger pointing at the-... 

… 

“Pft- PWAHAHAHAAHHA!”

Kaveh bursts out laughing. The kind that has him holding onto his stomach for dear life from the sheer hilarity of the situation. Alhaitham grinds his teeth at his partner, cackling at him and his misery. His partner who is the culprit to the evident kiss marks littered across his body. 

“Don’t laugh.” Is all Alhaitham can grit out from sheer embarrassment. Alhaitham wouldn’t have minded it any other day. In fact, he would’ve been ecstatic to show off the marks his partner gave him. But today is not the day for that since he has a meeting with Inazuma delegates. The last reports he remembers from Panah is that the Electro Archon and the priestess of the Grand Narukami Shrine will be present as well. Fuck. He only has five hours to figure out how to remove the marks before his meeting in the afternoon. And his partner dying of laughter is not helping him with the crime he committed. 

“WHEEZEEEEE-” His partner really ticks him off. “Kaveh. Do something about this.” Alhaitham scowls at him, positively irritated at his lover. At the same time, he can’t help but sigh fondly at him. It’s a wonder how bells ring in his ears when Kaveh laughs like a dying bird. He moves from his place, approaching Kaveh and crowding him into the corner of the kitchen counters. 

“I- HAHAHAHA I can’t-.” Kaveh wheezes out. Still holding onto his stomach in pain before taking a deep breath to try and compose himself. A few giggles slipping out of his lips every now and then. He wipes a tear on his eye as he coughs out the amusement in his lungs. “I-It- It’s lip tint. It’s a *hehe* kind of lipstick that stains your lips without smudging it.” 

“Then find one. I have an important meeting to attend today.” Alhaitham all but pouts. Annoyed at the turn of events and at his lover for ignoring his plight. Seriously, what is he gonna do if he can’t take off the kiss marks? For once he’s actually thinking about his public image since the Inazuman delegates are here for their Archon and their nation. And looking like he got mauled by a certain pretty blond man. 

“As the Grand Sage?” Kaveh fires at him, flipping the eggs on the pan. 

“Acting Grand Sage.” Alhaitham spits back, rightfully stressed at how relaxed his lover is. “Don’t change the topic, Princess.” He grits out, coming to corner Kaveh on the kitchen counters while he cooks breakfast for the both of them. Which Kaveh promptly rejected with a push of a hand as cooking and horniness can lead to quite a disastrous and destructive fire. Though the flushed red on his ears tell a different story as he didn’t wholeheartedly reject his presence beside him while cooking. 

“Don’t worry Haiyi~. I’m sure it’ll disappear after bathing.” He purrs out, a spatula waving in the air to emphasize his point. 

“I already tried that when I washed my face.” Alhaitham snarks back, wrapping his arms loosely around Kaveh’s waist. 

“Did you try it with soap?”

 “...” 

“I thought so, we’ll see when we shower together.” 

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

‘Dear Mrs. Myriam Castex,

Thank you for the gifts you have given me via mail. 

I am writing to inform you that the lip tints are successful products! I have been testing out one of the tubes you have sent that has a strawberry flavor. Some problems I have come across are the minty aftereffects when it dries. It stings a lot not only when applying but also the little wounds I have on my lips when chewing them. The shade of the color is too bright for everyday use, may I suggest that there be other shades before launching the product? 

And the main problem I came across is that the lip tints are quite effective in their goal of not smudging. It worked too well. 

I am quite embarrassed to admit it but I have tested out the product on my partner during an… intimate session. And It has been 3 days since then, 5 days once you have received this letter. That the kiss marks have yet to disappear on their own even after washing and removing it with regular makeup remover. I had to help my partner cover up the kiss marks on his face with makeup which is only a temporary fix for now. 

Once you receive this letter, please send a product to remove the lip tint on normal skin. 

Sincerely, Kaveh of Sumeru 

Light of Kshahrewar

Bonus Artwork from my best friend! Make sure to give them some love!

[there-was-a-hole-here-itsgonenow]

Notes on privacy and safety for Will and Mike:

@aemiron-main made this excellent connection about how, due to Henry being able to appear in the memory of the Snowball with Max because Henry was watching the dance in s2, Will has a severe lack of safe memories because of how long Henry has been watching Will. His safest memories would have to be pre-s1 and even then further back. We know the swingset memory would have to be important for this reason, but this knowledge still goes to show just how invaded Will’s safety is. And because Henry has possessed Will before, would this not potentially jeopardize his safety even more? Henry possessed him, having taken frontal control of his mind. This would allow Henry the ability to see ALL of Will’s memories, right? It says so much about what could and will transpire in s5.

Will is, practically, thoroughly exposed to Henry. All of his personal privacy is potentially shared with Henry, none of which Will has had a choice in. Your own mind and the memories stored within should be an objectively safe place. Should be. This could additionally open up greater discussion on the affects of trauma and PTSD—how unsafe you can feel due to what you’ve experienced. Henry takes vulnerability and the feeling of being unsafe (as well as insecurity) for his advantage.

But on the topic of privacy itself, again, Will’s safe memories should be safe but they may not be. A lot of them probably aren’t. He’s been watched and intruded upon, mentally and physically scoured. His own safety/security is compromised due to this lack of privacy.

@sandinmybed and I recently had a great discussion about privacy and crossed boundaries regarding Mike (awesome perspectives from Sand). In a way, it made me think of aemiron’s post about Will. Here is the original thread this discussion is on, and below I have the parts of that discussion that reminded me of this ‘lack of safety’:

Sand:

Me:

Sand:

Me:

-

What I mainly want to pull from here for this post is that there is a theme of personal space being made unsafe and forced vulnerability. Your mind is a naturally enclosed space that retains your thoughts and memories. Your sense of privacy is also an enclosed space, set up by yourself and so naturally comes with boundaries too. Will has a lack of safety because of Henry encroaching his mind and overall space. Mike has a lack of feeling safe by means of his personal space being intruded on. It’s not something Mike has been able to control either; especially when El used her powers to spy on him (this is not to put El in a bad light; this is to highlight a lack of control on Mike’s end). His and Will’s situations are vastly different, but this theme is apparent and each situation has weaving points. It’s unwanted exposure, confidential info meant to be shared or not put on display (our minds are naturally enclosed but we can share them if we choose to, as well as our private spaces if we choose to open them; having your privacy taken from you takes away your sense of autonomy).

Something obvious to draw from this is the horrible fear of getting outed. There is a clear difference between coming out on your own terms versus being outed against your will. Many of us expect Mike to get outed because of Henry (myself included). Henry is always watching and gathering personal info to turn against others—to force their vulnerability. Mike’s boundaries are constantly crossed, his own privacy brushed off and even made light of. Mike is the character who especially has a [hidden but not so hidden] pattern of hiding. It has been made noticeable that there is a lack of control with his securities and boundaries. Of course Henry will take advantage of this. He already has been. He has seen enough of Mike—spied on Mike enough—to encroach upon his safety too.

And as Sand and I talked about… it is an incredibly interesting point that Mike’s personal space with Will is continuously interrupted/intruded on. Will’s feelings for Mike is one part of what is personal to him and certainly known by Henry. Mike’s feelings for Will have to be known by Henry too. Even the Jaws poster behind two Byler heart-to-hearts is just further indicative of Henry’s intrusion, one of many instances of Will and Mike’s lack of safety.

[momoliee]

Finished Can Ci Pin, time for a review! [Warning: this review will contain some spoilers!]

Priest…that was brutal. You murdered me in cold blood. That was CRUEL. When was the last time a danmei had me crying this hard?!? I genuinely didn’t think you had it in you to do us all like this😭

To start off the review, I will first talk about the plot. The series spans 7 novels, two of the novels being split into two parts along with the extras, resulting in a total of 10 installments, making it one of the longest danmei novels that i’ve read, along with 2ha by meatbun and tgcf by mxtx. It takes place in a futuristic sci-fi society that exists in space, in a world run by technology and Ai with humanity inhabiting not one planet, but instead 8 whole galaxies (no there are no aliens in this series). I guess the reason why it’s incredibly underrated and overlooked, despite being one of Priest’s best works ever (literally on par with sha po land, mo du and lie huo jiao chou), would be its unique and niche genre, not preferred or sought after or appreciated by the majority of the danmei readers in both the chinese and english fandoms. Nevertheless, if you got some time on your hands, i would definitely recommend you give it a go! Priest makes it super easy and uncomplicated to settle into the world with her incredible world building skills (think of the steam punk universe of sha po lang), and the whole plot literally revolves around politics, war, and the struggles between different parties for power, which is smth that’s already pretty popular within danmei!! and the aesthetics are pretty cool too!!! think spaceships and astronauts!! also there are elements of mystery and comedy and action!! come on yall!!!

Now let’s get into the ACTUAL review. In a world where the Interstellar Union is constantly being tossed around like a tennis ball between the Eden Committee and the Military Council (think of the IU as the king/emperor/ruler, the Eden Committee as the prime minister of the government, and the Military Council as the marshal or commander of the military), the struggle for power led to centuries of underhanded and unethical and inhumane tactics and practices being brewed under the surface by all parties involved. On the surface, there was ‘peace’, peace that came at the expense of others, peace that was no thicker than a hair strand, ready to snap at any given second. Our main characters happened to be born in the century in which this fragile and delicately maintained peace is finally shattered, everything fell apart and no more secrets were kept hidden as all was exposed. The story follows so many threads that priest has managed to weave slowly here and there from very early onwards. The first two novels, priest spends them introducing several different plot lines and several different ‘problems’ and ‘issues’ that she later on ties together into one thick huge interwoven heavy plot in the fourth book. Most readers end up abandoning the story after reading the second novel, feeling that the pace is too slow, everything that’s happening is too random and left up abruptly without a satisfying conclusion, there is no one consistent plot line to follow, and the whole thing feels very overwhelming. However, after reaching the fourth novel, where the plot pace is suddenly picked up dramatically and everything becomes set to motion, it is clear the build up was very necessary or else the whole series wouldve turned into one big jumbled mess. There are time skips within the novel, one in the beginning and one in the middle, the one in the middle sort of splitting the series into a ‘before’ and ‘after’. The last detail i’ll mention regarding the plot, would be that the war doesn’t exist between just two sides, it exists between our main characters, the union, two other parties, and the internal strife between the split factions of the union. so you can….already imagine how complicated and intricate this is.

Now onto the characters. There is Lin Jingheng!!! The Man of The Hour. Aloof and cold on the outside, soft and kind on the inside. Ruthless and Merciless on the outside, a big mother-hen on the inside. A former commander turned mafia leader, his heart dead set on revenge, his body a weapon hes sharpened over the years, his life absolutely disposable to him. Keeping his distance, staying away from everyone, closing himself off to the world, he only ever had one goal in mind and it was to tear apart the union that took away his loved ones. Hes the best at what he does and he knows it, and he will absolutely use himself up to the max. He will not hesitate to make cold and harsh sacrifices, if it means he can logically get to his goal as efficiently as possible. Watching him grow as a character, watching him develop attachments and warm emotions, watching him slowly let out his inner child, was worth it. I absolutely love how the more he developed as a character, the more feelings he started expressing, the more bonds and attachments he started to form with those around him, the more he loved, the stronger he got. Unlike what he initially thought, love and affection and care did not hold him back or make him weaker, it only made him stronger and more invincible, ready to take on anything now that he finally has a purpose, now that he has people he wants to protect and more importantly, return to. An absolute favorite of mine, a true gem. His character is easy to grow fond of, and definitely enjoyable to be around.

Next is Lu Bixing, aka, my absolute favorite. Starting off as the naive, charismatic, funny, hyperactive and handsome little engineer and scientist, neither the series nor priest are kind to him😭😭😭😭 priest, you’ve truly put our sunshine boy through a LOT. i’ve cried several times. tears were shed. Lu Bixing underwent a dramatic character development due to extreme pain and trauma (im still recovering from this) and was stripped off of many of his most endearing character qualities to become a sharp blade ready to take on the world. but despite everything, the seed of kindness in his heart wasnt gone, all it needed was a bit of rekindling and healing and by the end of the series, we had our beloved son back again!!! His character started off well, drifted off the rail due to the harsh circumstances, then came back again, stronger and more mature than ever but still retaining his flirty and bright and active spirit and personality. I absolutely LOVED his healing arc, i love how no one gave up on him even when he gave up on himself, and i love how he came back to us again. Priest truly did his character justice, and didn’t let him off to be this “forever cold and heartless because of my trauma” character, the way many other authors wouldve.

One more thing that i loved, is how priest gave detailed and thorough attention to the side characters in this masterpiece of a work. Priest has managed to make sure that almost every important character in the series had a whole backstory and arc going for them, making you care about all of them and get attached and grow fond, even if some of those characters were already dead years before the novel even started. Priest dedicated several extras to some of those already dead but important characters, and it was the best decision she couldve ever made, making you all nostalgic and sentimental while reading.

Now onto the romance, definitely in my top 5 favorite danmei parings. The commander and his engineer. If Lu Bixing was a crown prince, then Lin Jingheng would be his knight. If Lin Jingheng was a sword, Lu Bixing would be his shield. A relationship that is also a partnership, where theyre both standing on equal ground, where they both need each other’s strengths and talents, where they both trust each other endlessly both on and off the battlefield, whether it be with each other’s lives or with each other’s hearts. It’s like those countless queer quoted shows and movies where two generals or two soldiers go through everything back to back, except this is a danmei so they DO end up together and it doesn’t end up being dismissed as a ‘friendship’. I love their hot and cold dynamic, i love how well they complement each other and how they somehow complete and balance each other. i love how they bring out the worst and best in each other. i love how they always wanna live one more day to come back to each other. Also Lu Bixing’s attempts to win over Lin Jingheng in the beginning were a 10/10 entertainment, definitely had us all, readers and side characters, rooting for him and cheering him on to get that cold commander’s heart!!!

This series will make you laugh, make you cry. There are intense action scenes, complex war and politics scenes, brutal bloodshed scenes and extremely funny and light hearted scenes. Even the romance gets its fair share of attention, the relationship building up at a perfect and reasonable and natural pace, as you grow to love the characters individually then love them together. it was cute, adorable, embarrassing, sexy, angsty (oh the ANGST) all at once!

Would definitely be rereading this, would definitely be giving this a 15/10.

[Here is my favorite scene from book 2 (i hope the humor convinced yall to pick up this incredible series!!!)] :

[merrivia]

Thinking today of how Damen, even with his initial biases against Laurent, was always able to intuit the hidden depths of his character, something which has eluded everyone...apart from the Regent.

Pacat is quite fond of the word ‘strapped’ or ‘strapped-down’ which she uses several times to describe Laurent’s feelings, and if you trace how it is used throughout the novels, it is one small shining thread of a greater tapestry that is Damen's conception of Laurent's psyche, one that Damen is able to weave together as the intimacy between them grows, but which also seems part of a natural discerning insight he has into Laurent as a person.

Firstly, we see it used to indicate (from Damen’s perspective) Laurent’s ability to unswervingly pursue a course of action, a harsh and pitiless kind of resolve, like when he settles into watch Damen flogged:

A similar look is on Laurent’s face when he kills the last intruder/attacker in his room:

So far, at first glance, it makes Laurent seem ruthless, and capable of great emotional detachment.

Interestingly, the next time we hear the phrase is when Damen has just thrown the sword, killing the Akielon soldier and saving Laurent, who must ride pillion behind him:

We know exactly what Laurent is struggling to subdue within him at this moment- monumental attraction that has started to mingle with something deeper. The humour he resorts to is so endearing, as Laurent flirts and does not flirt, heroically trying to stop his imagination running away with him.

(Honestly, tell me to my face this is not the scenario running through Laurent's head 🌚)

Ahem, anyway.

And then the word strapped is also used here, in this tender moment between them:

Damen was always capable of seeing something about Laurent that others miss. Our view of Laurent is always through the lens of Damen's perspective and "strapped-down" is such an interesting choice of words. A deliberate suppression of any sense of compassion or empathy, yes, but you can't suppress something unless it already exists within you. In fact, Laurent has had to adopt this attitude, and extinguish the more sympathetic, softer sides of himself because of his natural sensitivity to, well, everything. Laurent has covered himself in impenetrable layers- laced up clothing, a cold harsh persona- all the better to protect those parts of him responsive to sensation and to love and warmth and tenderness, not because he is is incapable of feeling. And Damen sees a glimmer of that (a glimmer which grows into the greater light of understanding), right from the start.

Just soulmate behaviour, methinks.

[vickyvicarious]

I didn't want to reply via reblogging more and hijacking your thread further, but you mentioning how smooth and suave Jonathan has been Dracula's voice and mannerisms lately, reminded me that he does that a lot in general, noting the Count's "charming" smile upon meeting him, and so on.

"The Count saw his victory in my bow, and his mastery in the trouble of my face, for he began at once to use them, but in his own smooth, resistless way:"

So it's often a combination of alluring and repulsive... A few lines later Jonathan focuses on the fangs against his red lip. He's both intimidating and resistless, he wants something you don't want to give, claiming his guest's freedom, all suavely. Very vampiric!

Yes, indeed! Also, while Dracula is described as being "courteous" or "courtly" several times, it's generally when he's gloating over a victory. That descriptor crops up four separate times on May 5. It's used when he is beckoning Jonathan to come in, bowing as he bids him welcome, unspecified description of his 'courteous welcome', and bowing as he leads Jonathan in to his bedroom. May 7, he leaves Jonathan in the morning with a courtly bow. He's courteous again twice on May 28, when handing Jonathan a new envelope to send the now-useless letter to Hawkins, and when telling him to get to bed. In every one of these situations, Dracula has somewhat already 'won'. May 5, his lawyer has arrived and is fully isolated/under his power. May 7, he's kept him up all night and got him on vampire time. May 28, the communication attempt has been thoroughly foiled and he's gloating over it. Now, no doubt the courtliness is meant to emphasize Dracula's class difference as well as his old-fashioned manners, and gets mentioned less frequently as Jonathan becomes used to his behavior. But I feel like there seems to be an extra element of him playing up his manners especially when he is feeling very satisfied with himself or is inviting/leading Jonathan further into doom. (Or maybe it's just that Jonathan notices them especially at those times, I suppose. The contrast alone is striking/infuriating.)

The general suavity is kind of omnipresent, a part of the game of good friends/host and guest. It's not specifically commented upon, more apparent in the dialogue and actions. But it too gets dialed up notably in certain situations:

May 5: "He opened it and read it gravely; then, with a charming smile, he handed it to me to read."

May 12: "The Count saw his victory in my bow, and his mastery in the trouble of my face, for he began at once to use them, but in his own smooth, resistless way:"

May 19: "Last night the Count asked me in the suavest tones to write three letters,"

May 28: "He sat down beside me, and said in his smoothest voice as he opened two letters:"

I just noticed that all of these revolve around documents so far, which is a really fun detail. First reading Mr. Hawkins' letter, then telling Jonathan to write that he'll be staying another month, then writing the letters that will wait to be sent, then when burning the honest letter and preparing to 'send' the useless one only. With the slight exception of the first instance (in which Dracula was creepily realizing Jonathan was his personal made-to-order chewtoy), every single time Jonathan feels the need to emphasize Dracula's charming manners is when the Count is falsifying the documentation in some way. He's dictating communication that overrides or lies about Jonathan's wishes and situation, he's actively destroying communication that tries to spread the truth...

I was originally going to say that these manners usually show up particularly when the Count is making another big ask, pushing past another boundary. And while that's true, I think the letters thing is even more important. Because it ties in even further to Dracula's ability to keep the truth hidden, to obfuscate and isolate and do it all with a charming smile. This is him exercising his control over Jonathan. And while his methods aren't as straightforwardly supernatural as the vampire ladies with their alluring hypnotic charm, he is doing much the same thing. He plays up/utilizes being likable, being charismatic, being irresistable - even as he goes for the throat.

It's just that so far, his doing so has been metaphorical (mirror incident aside). Jonathan's strength is centered in his documentation, his proof of his own sanity and ability to muster support/spread truth. So every time Dracula takes away another piece of documentation (or other freedom), he's drinking up a little more of Jonathan's vitality in a way. (Jonathan's secret diary kinda ruins the one-to-one comparison here as it'd be the equivalent of an extra stash of blood to keep re-upping... but that in itself is a fun line to draw to a certain later victim, who in the end couldn't escape thanks in part to failed communication/keeping secrets).

[anyaprincessa]

since there are a lot of people creating theories about Anya's name,her backstory and discussing about chapter 90.1,I wanted to share my own opinion｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

tbh,I was surprised that Ania's name had all this time a meaning and it wasn't just a mix of Misha and Ashe from Endo's previous works kinda expected it though,I'm not sure why Endo was hiding it all the time,maybe because it was supposed to be a surprise..

I honestly think that Ania is a Russian name took from Anna,is she a reference of princess Anastasia?my own question leaded me to an imagination of her backstory,hehe(⁠^⁠^⁠);

Ania was the princess of a royal family,they all were under serveillance,all the members conversations were encrypted in classic language so that the content couldn't be understood it wasn't the native language of the country by the way

Desmond was the one behind everything happening to the country and the royal family,he nuked/destroyed the country it's kind of confirmed that he's doing suspicious activities,right?,all the family were killed but Anya wasn't,instead those monsters kidnapped her and she became their new test subject for the Ostanian project apple subject 007

everyone in the lab treated her as a tool and forced her to study..

There was a scientist,he was cruel like all of them and for some sort of reason,he changed later on and became a kind person,he was the one who helped Anya escaping the lab,she will surely start a new happy life with a new family,well,after a short period,the little girl was adopted and returned to the orphanage 4 times,till one day a spy codenamed Twilight waku waku came searching for a 6 years old child,ends up adopting her to become a part of a fake family,the forgers for the sake of operation strix (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

there is also a high possibility that there is a reason behind Anya's freedom...probably nobody helped her escape the cursed lab,the scientists just started a new experiment is her freedom itself, this experiment is designed to train her to become a skilled telepath naturally, so that they can kidnap their tool whenever they are ready to start the war

Melinda knows about her past herself, that's why she wants Anya and Damian to become closer because of some other hidden reasons idk myself..

and before I forget,here's some canon proofs supporting the princess theory;

Ania loves castles,she talked about servants in the first chapter,we even had a whole episode about her as a princess and her her papa saving her,most of the anime episode was an original though was it for a foreshadowing purpose from Endo himself?!

there's also several mentions about royality in the manga,for example in chapter 42,etc,etc..the lastest and the most important mention was in chapter 88,Melinda choosing specifically the royal top elite cakes as a gift for Anya wich Damian told her to buy,he didn't said for who exactly

"they were cakes said to originally have been created by king Willy II,as a conciliatory gift for the queen of an enemy country"!!! this line alone raised a lot of suspicion inside me...so I had to do some search(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)I found out later on that King Willy and the queen from the enemy country are actually a reference of king Frederick the great and Empress Elizaveta!! probably I'm gonna make a thread talking about them

In addition to my proofs,we also had Anya comparing the Griffin wich is the symbol of the Desmonds and Chimera the possible symbol of her royal family and her dear friend who knows everything about her

I'mma include the Authens since they are 100% getting involved in this arc and were introduced just before the chapter we got a new hints about Ania's past and the confirmation of her backstory arc

First of all,Sigmund Authen might be a reference of Sigmund Freud the founder of Psychoanalysis,is related to minds?!!mind reading powers in sxf universe??!?the theory of super powers and all this stuff might be proposed by him since he was a professor teaching in the berlint university is owned by the Desmond family,you can notice the letter "D" in the logo

he is likely to be from Anya's same country,he's talking in Classical language most of the time,both Yor and Anya didn't understand most of what he said either Anya because the majority of what he was saying is complicated,unhearable and she didn't care

I think he is retired or perhaps not ,he seems that he loves Barbara sm and he definitely loves kids(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

the important person this arc is either him or Barbara

[woodblxssomcrowned]

HC/Brain storming: Kaname's skills (WIP) Notes on Kaname's abilities, both ones she has in the main verse, and ones she has in the WS!AU.

Kaname's chakra control is incredibly advanced. Throughout her life refining her ability to channel and control the flow of her chakra has been an invaluable cornerstone in her training and that has allowed her to master several generally considered advanced techniques, in spite of being unable to use any Ninjutsu or Genjutsu and her abilities for Fuinjutsu being very limited. 

Channeling - Directing chakra to specific points in your body at will, used for eg waterwalking, and ofc to direct a technique to the part of your body where it will be utilized (hands, mouth, feet etc). Hand seals can help with this. 

Chakra - Chakra is the combination of physical energy and spiritual energy. All living things have chakra, although not everyone can consciously manipulate it. Many old shinobi clans have developed a genetic affinity for the ability to access and manipulate heir chakra, which is why you won't find as many shinobi who have no ancestral ties to a clan. They do for sure exist and it became more common to see them after the Hidden Villages were founded, but compared to those born of civilian and non-shinobi clans and families if you are born a Senju, Uchiha, Inuzuka, Yamanaka or any such clan the odds that you will have absolutely no ability to access and manipulate chakra is very slim. Samurai clans are also known to produce individuals who have the affinity for accessing and manipulating chakra.

Shape transformation - Defines the shape, range, and general purpose of the chakra used for a technique. Often lumped together with chakra channeling.

The rasengan is a technique solely based on advanced shape transformation of raw chakra. 

Basic chakra threads used by puppeteers are also an example of highly advanced shape transformation. Both of these techniques require refined ability for chakra channeling as to control the ever fluctuating flow and nature of chakra. 

As a rule techniques based solely on shape transformation can't be used at a range if the connection between the chakra pathways of the user’s body and the technique is separated, which is why the basic rasengan can't be thrown at a target. There are a few exceptions to this rule, but it requires highly concentrated chakra and impeccable timing or the chakra will simply dissipate and the technique will fail. The samurai’s Chakra Sabre technique is an example of this as well.  

Nature transformation - alters and defines the properties of the chakra. Eg, specifying it as a specific elemental technique with its corresponding general properties.

Naruto's modified versions of the rasengan where he integrated nature transformation allowed it to gain the cutting properties of the wind release in combination with the rotational shape of the rasengan. 99% of Ninjutsu require both of these techniques to be used to some degree in order to define the jutsu. If not they are generally classified as chakra channeling techniques, and may or may not entail shape transformation. However, while there are techniques that only use shape transformation, no techniques can be used with only nature transformation. 

Body flicker technique - The body flicker technique, as it is known among shinobi, is a common technique that entails channeling a boost of chakra through one's body in order to allow speed of movement otherwise impossible to achieve. The larger or the more precise the boost is the more effective the technique will be, making it appear like you are teleporting when you really just move faster than the eye can perceive.

Thanks to having trained extensively with this technique, and highly advanced forms of chakra channeling and control in general, Kaname is highly proficient with it and is incredibly fast. She can give an unsuspecting sharingan user a run for their money, especially but not exclusively if she utilizes one or two of the eight gates, even if it may put a strain on her body.

(Note:: Just to be clear; she can't move faster than Tobirama because the FTGT is actual teleportation through space-time that occurs instantly, not just a channeling technique that lets a person move at superhuman speed.)

Samurai saber technique - A technique typically only utilized by samurai but adopted by Kaname as she was inspired by their aversion to using any techniques that entails transforming the nature of their chakra, which is what she can't do and that prevents her from using ninjutsu.  It entails highly advanced methods of channeling, shaping and manipulating chakra externally. The philosophy behind it is more or less to make the sword a part of one's body and soul, which explains the way they train. They train to channel chakra (the soul) into and around their sword as if it was a part of their body. When done correctly, the user can manipulate the shape and density of the chakra at will, altering the blade's properties such as making it shaper or blunt, longer or wider, to suit their needs or fighting style. It is a notoriously difficult technique to master, and that takes years, which is why most shinobi don't bother with it and focus on easier or more versatile techniques. Some put it into a category similar to that of puppeteers, who also channel and manipulate chakra externally.

Chakra suppression - Although often classified as a ninjutsu, as a sensing technique specifically, it is actually an advanced channeling technique that entails suppressing the flow of ones chakra to the point where it is indiscernible, making you more or less invisible to sensors or to the shinobi's general ability to vaguely perceive chakra within their immediate vicinity. When done, the user will however be unable to use any techniques that require active and conscious use of chakra, such as ninjutsu, genjutsu, sensing techniques or other channeling such as the body flicker technique.

Doing it wrong will make the presence of your chakra appear and reappear which can draw attention to it. Alternatively if you suppress it too much you can end up making yourself feel disoriented and weak, similarly to cutting off blood flow.

Not a problem for Kaname who has never been able to use ninjutsu or genjutsu for her fighting style in the first place. She knows how to fight efficiently entirely without consciously using chakra to enhance her performance.

Puppeteers also train in chakra suppression to try and hide the chakra threads they use for their techniques, as the amount of concentrated chakra needed will normally make them visible to the naked eye. When Kaname learned of this, she immediately started trying to learn how to use that with the samurai sabre technique but with not particularly efficient results.

The eight gates - Also a chakra channeling technique that can have a multitude of uses depending on the needs of the individual.

Everyone has the gates within themselves, and many will unconsciously open the first or even the second at some point in their life in moments of great stress or desperation, and theoretically anyone can learn to access them.

This being said, opening any of gates consciously at will is notoriously and intentionally difficult to learn even for highly skilled shinobi, and takes years of extensive training and a very keen awareness of one's chakra, not to mention how it is an undeniably risky technique to use, with the personal risks sometimes outweighing the benefits.  So risky that it is very rare to encounter someone who has learned to do it and not caused irreparable damage to their body in the process, and it's why by the end of the era of warring states the technique became considered a kinjutsu, a forbidden technique. But it was never officially classed as such, which still made it legal, albeit risky and controversial, to teach and practice the technique.  However, someone actually trained in the use of the gates is rarely not considered a genuine threat. Opening the gates bypasses an individual's ability to feel pain, allowing them to use amounts of chakra that the body would normally subconsciously stop you from accessing, as well as numbing your sense of fear.

The Strength of a Hundred Seal / Yin Seal - (This only applies to Kaname in the WS!AU) The Strength of a Hundred seal is a Sealing Technique that demands highly advanced skills of chakra control and chakra channeling to manifest. By delicately channeling and storing away small amounts of chakra into a specific point on their body over an extended period of time, the seal can be created once an amount has been gathered that roughly equates to an individual's normally accessible 20% times 100. This usually takes at least three years, but more for some.  Once the seal has been created, the user can choose to activate the seal and access the chakra stored within it, which gives them the resources to perform very powerful techniques or numerous powerful attacks that would otherwise be impossible to achieve without turning to risky techniques such as the Eight Gates. Although it is generally considered a safer alternative to the Eight Gates, it is a far more difficult one to not only manifest, both techniques are still incredibly advanced, difficult and even dangerous to learn and use, and although it is not often you find someone actually trained in the use of the Eight Gates, it’s even rarer to meet someone with the Strength of a Hundred Seal. While this pool doesn't have the same restrictions as the eight gates that need to be worked through, it's not without limitations to use. Letting too much chakra run through your body at once will still injure it severely, so using any more than an amount equal to 20% of your naturally accessible chakra at once is not advised since it's what your body is built to be capable of physically handling. Besides, 20% of it will more often than not be an insane amount of chakra to use for a single technique or attack anyway.

Unlike the Eight Gates however, the Strength of a Hundred Seal doesn't bypass your ability to feel pain while you’re using it, so any damage done to your body by overexerting it will be felt instantly, and it will be painful and debilitating. A Strength of a Hundred Seal user would not likely be able to handle releasing an amount of chakra more than 40% (at most) of their natural reserves at once without being quickly incapacitated from the pain alone, while an Eight Gates user would have shut off their ability to feel pain in the process of opening the Gates. So the Strength of a Hundred Seal requires not only refined chakra control to create, but also to use safely and efficiently.

There have been cases where someone managed to painstakingly create the seal after many years, only to end up killing themselves instantly by pulling too much chakra at once from it in a moment of overconfidence. Someone opening the 8th Gate and accessing 100% of their chakra will die. And someone using the Strength of a Hundred Seal releasing an amount of chakra from it equal to or higher than their natural 100% (or even anything above 50%) in a short amount of time will swiftly meet the same end. The Strength of a Hundred seal has its origins in the Sage of Six Path’s era, but towards the end of the era of Warring States the Uzumaki clan were the only clan known to have the knowledge of how to create this seal and how to use it. Senju Tsunade would create techniques such as Creation rebirth, which utilized the sealed chakra to forcibly stimulate the body’s cells, allowing for rapid healing and recovery. 

In the WS!AU, this technique has not been invented, and if it had, Kaname would not be able to use it as it is a form of ninjutsu. 

She would still be able to make good use of it as simply additional, very useful storage of chakra without having to resort to the risky usage of The Eight Gates. 

- Enhance her physical strength and speed to extreme levels.

- Use more powerful attacks but still have vast amounts of chakra left. For example she could use an amount of chakra equal to her naturally accessible 20% several times over without having to suffer the consequences of opening the Eight Gates to access more.

- Revitalize her body, but not heal, by channeling additional chakra through it. Think giving her body a boost of energy and adrenaline and numbing pain temporarily.

- Be able to use more powerful attacks with the chakra sabre technique

- Activate stronger seals.

[zoeykallus]

Echo - There For You 27 - Desperate Times

Echo x Fem!Reader FF

Warnings: ANGST

__________________

After an initial quick examination, Tech determines that Echo's condition is very serious. Now it is time to act quickly.

__________________

What Happened Before:

There For You 1 - I’ll Stay With you

2. Just You And Me

3. Under Cherry Blossoms

4. I Can’t Lose Her

5. The Scent Of Memories

6. A Little More Time

7. Heat In A Cold Night

8. Traditions

9. Revelations

10. Sweet And Painful

11. Tears In The Dark

12. Guilt

13. Everybody Needs Somebody

14. A Real Embrace

15. Veterans

16. Hidden Things

17. Delirium

18. Help Is On The Way

19. With A Bang

20. Permanent Damage

21. Until Some Day

22. No Things Left Unsaid

23. Ups And Downs

24 - Truth And Consequences

25 - Back Home

26 – Distraction

27 -Desperate Times

Anxiously, you looked over Tech's shoulder as he performed a scan on Echo. You were all shaky, with a queasy feeling in your stomach, your whole body shaking slightly as if you were freezing. "Not good," Tech muttered softly. Your heart sank to the back of your knees. You watched as Tech, gave Echo an injection, then turned to you and the others. "Some of the chips and circuits in his brain are fried," Tech finally said seriously. "Can't we just replace them?" asked Wrecker, who gently put a hand on your shoulder. As Tech shook his head, you sat down, feeling your knees buckle underneath you. You tried to breathe calmly, to comprehend what was happening. "That would take brain surgery. I can do some things and I know some things, but I'm not a brain surgeon. I would have to learn these things first, which is faster for me than for the average person, but would still take several days. Also, this is not just brain surgery, we also need spare parts and knowledge of this particular techno unit technology. Echo desperately needs a real surgeon, and not just any surgeon, but one who knows about the Techno Unit technology." You felt sick. You had no idea where to get someone like that in a hurry. "What happens to him when he wakes up?" Tech looked at you calmly and tried to say as matter-of-factly and gently as possible, "I've sedated him, I'm going to keep him in this state until we can do more. In his current state, he probably won't be able to articulate or make coordinated movements. Presumably, the risk of further injury to his brain while awake is increased as well" "That means Wrecker and I need to go out and get that surgeon," Hunter said with grim determination. Tech nodded in agreement and said, "I need to stay with Echo, monitor him and make sure he doesn't wake up for now."

Crosshair checked messages daily, on the emergency com. He gave the contact information to you and Hunter, no one else, for emergencies. He had written them down in the letter he had left you.

Today was no exception, he checked the com for messages. Crosshair was expecting the same as always, no messages, but surprised to find that someone had actually left him a message. He was even more surprised when he heard your voice. He could hear from the first notes that something was wrong, your voice sounded brittle, quieter than usual, a bit hoarse, as if you had been crying. Crosshair frowned and turned his attention to the com, listening carefully.

"Cross."

He expelled the breath he had been holding. The word sounded so shaky and desperate coming out of your mouth that it made him hot and cold. His thoughts were racing. What had happened?

"It's about Echo. He's been badly injured, his life is hanging by a thread. Hunter and Wrecker are on their way to get help, and Tech stayed with me to keep an eye on Echo. He's… not doing well."

Crosshair blinked, waiting for the message to continue. There was a pause, sorting out your thoughts and words before speaking further.

"I thought you should know that. And if I'm honest… I would feel better if you were here, Echo would want that too if he could talk."

The message ended abruptly. Crosshair stared at his com, heart racing. He didn't even notice that he automatically moved into the cockpit of the shuttle and started the engine, only when his hands took the wheel, he realized that he had already made his decision.

He opened the right com frequency and left a short but clear message.

"I'm on my way, Kitten."

You had fallen asleep on the chair next to Echo's bed at some point. The beeping of your com woke you up. Tired, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and saw that Tech was taking another look at Echo's vitals.

He looked up and looked at you.

"Unchanged," he clarified, "Under the current circumstances, that's good for now."

You nodded and looked at your com, saw the sign for a voice message light up. You played it, immediately recognizing Crosshair's voice.

"I'm on my way, Kitten."

You took a deep breath. The feeling, the hope that everything could be okay again, was suddenly a little more tangible.

Tech looked in your direction again.

"You notified Crosshair?"

"Yes," you said with a nod, "I thought it would be good if we were all together under the circumstances."

Tech blinked and said, "A good idea. Echo would want that too"

"That was my thought exactly"

You stood up, walked over to Echo and looked down at him. His eyes closed, breathing calmly and evenly, several monitoring devices hooked up to him, so Tech could check his vitals at any given moment.

You didn't dare touch him for fear of worsening his fragile condition. Echo looked deceptively peaceful. You knew how bad he was, that behind his sleeping face there was only chaos.

"Tech?"

"Yes?"

Quietly, you asked, "Do you think Echo can make it?"

Tech looked at you and said, "Chances are-"

"No," you interrupted him, "I don't want to hear calculations or odds. What does your gut tell you?"

Tech was silent, blinking and looking at you a little helplessly for a while. Finally, he answered, "I think it's possible. Hunter and Wrecker know how urgent the matter is, they will hurry and so far Echo's condition has not worsened I would say…. there is hope."

Again, you took a deep breath and said, "Thanks Tech."

"There is no need to thank me"

You smiled softly and said, "Thanks anyway."

Again he blinked.

"You're welcome"

The sound of a shuttle landing distracted you. Part of you wanted to jump up and run out to see who was coming, but you stayed rooted to the spot, paralyzed. You heard the door in the main room open, footsteps lunging, and knew before Crosshair appeared in the doorway of the infirmary that it was him.

His gaze roamed the room, lingered on Echo for a long moment, then on you. You wanted to move, but you still felt paralyzed, overwhelmed by your feelings, by the fear for Echo and the simultaneous relief that Crosshair was back, at least temporarily.

He looked at you for a long time, his gaze hard to interpret. Then Tech brought him out of his thoughts.

"It's good you're here," Tech said.

Crosshair nodded silently at him, sighed softly, and finally stepped into the room. At the same moment, you broke free of your stupor and approached him. He stood stiffly, as if rooted to the spot, as you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him. There was nothing loving or tender about the embrace, this hug was desperate for support and comfort.

At first, Crosshair didn't know how to react at all and held completely still. He exchanged a glance with Tech, but he seemed more confused than helpful, and shrugged his shoulders. After what felt like an eternity, he finally returned the hug and said, somewhat awkwardly, "Um, it's going to be okay."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021