#also the other day my sister's phone reminded her that it had been a year since the female soccer world cup inauguration

[buckleyseddie]

my phone just reminded me that one year ago i was watching 3x03 aka my life was being altered forever and ever by eddie's thumb touching buck's collarbone while he tells him that there's no one he trusts more with his son than buck :)

[wileys-russo]

Could you write something for Alessia where reader is her sister and gets her first england call up. I feel like less would be such a good older sister, slightly protective and over bearing but also just making sure reader is fitting in and has no trouble.

the call up II a.russo x sister!reader

the call up II a.russo x sister!reader

you'd been sat with a few of your club team mates watching a movie together at beths house when you'd gotten the call, shock written all over your face as you glanced down and saw the contact name.

"go! answer it." beth whispered with an encouraging nod as you hurried to your feet and raced out of the living room, hyper aware of the eyes watching as you did so.

accepting sarina's call the dutch woman got straight to the point. you'd seen her in the crowd at a few of the home games you'd started in, and sure enough she advised she'd been impressed with what she'd seen, offering you a spot at the next camp with the senior team.

she was honest in the chances of you getting minutes in the game against scotland were slim, but the opportunity to train with the senior team and absorb and learn was there and waiting as you eagerly accepted, sarina advising she would see you at camp before ending the call.

your first call was to your parents who were over the moon, promising they'd keep it quiet until the squad for camp was officially announced, though within a few seconds your phone lit up with a flurry of notifications as the news was put into the family group chat making you roll your eyes with a fond smile.

you stood to return back to your team mates but your phone lit up with another call, your sisters name and contact photo she despised flashing across the screen making you snicker with amusement at the unflattering 0.5 angle of her with bed hair and a scowl in high definition.

"hi less." you greeted with a chuckle. "you still haven't changed my contact photo have you?" the blonde sighed knowingly as you laughed properly looking at it again.

"of course not, and i won't be anytime soon unless i take an uglier photo." you teased as she mocked you under your breath. "you're such a little shit. but anyway, why the hell did i have to find out about your call up from luca?" alessia scoffed accusingly and you didn't need to be on facetime to imagine the stern frown which would be plastered across her features.

"because no one in this family knows how to keep anything to themselves, you especially." you rolled your eyes, sending a smile and a thumbs up to beth who poked her head in to check on you, the older girl sending you a warm smile back and retreating to the living room.

"i should have been your first call, i'm your only sister and i'll be at camp too. your first call up to the senior squad is a huge deal!" alessia lectured before dropping tone and congratulating you, the two of you having imagined for years what it would be like if you ever made the senior team together.

you were disappointed not to make the world cup roster but having the extra time to focus on football with your club had benefited you immensely in other ways, and you just needed to consistently remind yourself that everything happened for a reason.

you'd started off your professional career with a short term contract at bristol city, and after a year of starting and a semi successful season you were offered a three year contract with manchester united which had always been your goal.

alessia had already known of the offer before you did of course, ella and mary having to practically hold her down to stop her calling to pressure you into accepting the moment she found out.

but none the less it was an offer too good to decline for any club, let alone your childhood dreams of one day playing for united coming true and to get the opportunity to play alongside and see alessia every day.

the two of you fought tooth and nail growing up as sisters did and always over the most ridiculous of things.

but regardless of that and the near five year age gap you were always close, your relationship only strengthening once alessia went away to college and you weren't living on top of one another anymore.

you'd only played a single season with united, most of it spent on the bench or as an impact sub, but you loved the girls and found yourself falling hard for manchesters charm.

which is why the loan had been quite the shock, no real warning given when the club accepted an offer from spurs on your behalf, both you and grace traded with the hopes of gaining proper game time and starting minutes under your belts.

alessia had kicked off the moment it went public, first at you for not telling her and then at everyone else who would listen to her frustrations which you knew mostly stemmed from a worry of how you would go moving to a different place and a different team all on your own.

only, you weren't alone. with grace by your side you adjusted easily into this new challenge in your life, you and the midfielder growing even closer than you were when you were at united, and now you both found no trouble calling each other a best friend, attached at the hip and practically inseparable.

"-i'll come and pick you up friday for dinner for mums birthday. i love you!" alessia confirmed, clearing pausing waiting for you to say it back. "don't you dare hang up and not say it back you little shit." your sister scoffed as you grinned, forever finding it all too easy to get under her skin.

"love you lessi, see you friday!" with that you hung up, hearing the girls in the other room start to argue over what to order for dinner as you took a moment to let it all sink in.

you'd finally done it.

~

"you've got your kits yeah? and the tracksuits, and the training ones, and your socks, and your cleats, and you need to be careful you're not wearing anything that isn't adidas branded if you're being filmed or there's pictures taken by the social media team-" your sister lectured over the phone as you rolled your eyes and flicked her to speaker.

"-then you'll get the schedule when you arrive but i'll show you where everything is anyway. if we're not roomed near each other i'll still come and find you every morning and we can have breakfast before training and i'll run you through the daily schedules-" you started to tune her out as you flicked through your closet, humming every now and then to appease her.

"-are you even listening to me?" you only hummed again, completely checked out of the conversation now as you wrestled to get your suitcase closed. "oh my god you've got me on speaker and you've left the room again like last time. OI!" you winced and zoned back in as she shouted loudly.

"no! i'm right here idiot. but i know you love the sound of your own voice so who was i to interrupt?" you chuckled, grunting as you sat on top of your case and finally got it closed.

“ha ha ha, very funny. what the hell are you doing anyway? why are you grunting and groaning are you working out right now?” your sister questioned. “no! im trying to close my case, which i now have!” you sighed victoriously zipping it up.

“you haven’t finished packing?” alessia shouted as you rolled your eyes. “less.” you warned, muting her momentarily as she ignored you and started to rant and rave about how you needed to step up and be an adult.

returning a few moments later you unmuted her, catching her mid story of something you really weren’t all that interested in.

“oh no less you’re breaking up I can’t hear you!” you spoke in a monotone, voice dripping with sarcasm as you scrunched a piece of paper and made glitchy noises with your mouth.

“seriously? you can’t even just say you don’t want to talk anymore? you have to make up some bullshit excuse and-“ her words fell short as you clicked the red end call button with a chuckle, tossing the ball of paper over your shoulder.

you watched the texts fly in from her, unhappy with your attitude and warning you needed to be mature on camp which you silenced with a roll of your eyes, interrupted by your security buzzer going.

“sorry don’t want any.” you grinned as grace’s head appeared in the security camera, the girl pulling a face and flipping you off as you buzzed her in. “cars here! im not comin up, you’re comin down. hurry!” the brunette warned as your eyes widened and you rushed about making sure you had everything.

you jolted in surprise as a knock sounded on your door, flinging it open and frowning when grace stood there with a grin. “aih ya dickhead the car isn’t here yet it’s not even ten, too easy!” your best friend laughed pushing past you as she dumped her own bags by the door.

“you are such a wind up.”

~

“you nervous?” you asked grace, tapping her knee to gain her attention as the car turned into st georges park and she pulled her headphones down around her neck.

“nah not really. you shouldn’t be either! we wouldn’t have been called up if they didn’t think we wasn’t ready, and your sister is here anyway to look after ya.” grace reminded with a smile, pushing your head with a wink as the two of you rough housed for a bit before the car parked up.

“cameras rollin. how’d i look then?” grace fluttered her eyelashes making you grin. “ugly as ever. come on hillary!” you slid out of the car before she could retaliate, groaning at the nickname.

you knew from the way your phone had been blowing up that your sister was already here, having arrived earlier this morning with lotte and beth.

so it wasn’t any real surprise when you’d hardly stepped a foot out of the car and she appeared, hovering at the top of the stairs with ella plastered to her side who sent you and grace a grin and a wave.

both of you grabbing your bags you flashed a smile and fist bumped the media staff who were filming entrances as you and grace ascended the stairs.

“ready for your first camp girls?” you and grace both echoed back a yes, grinning at the camera before someone wiggled their way in between you both and slung their arms over your shoulders.

"big sister gonna look out for you then?" the staff laughed as alessia beamed and squeezed both you and grace tightly. "well she's got big shoes to follow, we've been working on her backheel." alessia joked, the camera crew moving toward the next van which pulled up which was full of the city girls.

"less get off." you huffed, grace wiggling away and tackling ella in a hug, the taller of the two dragging them inside in a headlock as your sister only gripped you tighter.

"absolutely not, roomie." the older girl grinned smugly as your face fell. "oh you've gotta be kidding me!" you groaned throwing your head back in annoyance.

"she's messin with you, we don't share rooms anymore on camp." a new voice sounded behind you as you managed to throw off alessia's arm and charge toward them. "mazza!" you cheered happily, launching at her as she caught you with a grunt.

"baby russo!" the girl cheered in the same tone before dropping you back to your feet. "just my actual name is fine thank you." you shoved her playfully with a roll of your eyes. "not this camp or any camp after, that is your name now. or we could go with B.R for short?" mary teased tugging on your ears.

"i'm quite fond of her childhood nickname." alessia chimed in with a smirk as you sent her a murderous glare. "don't you dare, or i'll spill one of your secrets. and we both know that i have plenty of them to choose from!" you smirked back as her face fell.

"rat." alessia muttered, nodding for you to follow her as she grabbed your bags and headed for the elevator to show you to your room.

"we'll talk later. you spill some of those secrets and theres more where this came from kid." mary whispered, sliding a tenner into your pocket with a pat and a wink.

~

you were mid dream when you first heard it, the repeated thudding which seemed to leak into your subconscious as suddenly you realized you weren't dreaming anymore and someone was knocking furiously on your door.

raising your head from your pillow you blinked groggily and rubbed your eyes so hard you saw stars, stumbling out of bed and tripping over the corner of the duvet where your foot got stuck in bed.

hitting the ground with a thud and a grunt the knocking stopped for a moment and you paused, unsure if you'd imagined it.

"for god sakes hurry up!" nope, didn't imagine it.

"what?" you retorted grumpily, mornings your least favourite time of day as you rubbed your face and your sister barreled in past you without so much as a greeting.

"go away alessia its too early!" you groaned, shutting the door and trudging back toward your bed. "you haven't even hung anything up? for god sakes this is a hotel this isn't your bedroom at home you can't just fling shit around and leave your mess everywhere like a tornado!" your sister lectured with a click of her tongue, busying herself picking things up and putting them away.

"i've not even been here for twenty four hours yet less surely that stick up your ass is gonna sting something terrible by the end of the week?" you grumbled, sliding back into bed as your sister shot you a filthy look at her shoulder.

"hilarious. but you have to be professional here and set a good reputation for yourself, especially your first camp. that means up on time, early for breakfast, one of the first to the pitch, extra reps in the gym-" you tuned her out, quite the expert at it by now, eyes slipping closed again.

"urgh get off!" you moaned as a weight settled on top of you, wheezing slightly as alessia made herself comfortable sitting on your back. "you have...forty six seconds to get up yourself before i drag you out of this bed by your ankles and we both know i will!" your sister threatened seriously, checking her watch.

"you're so fucking annoying. this is worse than when we both lived at home, at least then you also used to hate mornings!" you exhaled deeply, star fishing out on the bed as she wriggled and purposefully bore more of her taller form into you.

"twenty nine, twenty eight, twenty seven..." the blonde counted down ignoring your statements. "can hardly get up myself with you on top of me can i bigfoot?" you snapped, alessia rolling off of you and squealing as your leg kicked out to push her off the bed.

"right! three, two, one." and with that she flung the covers off, grabbing your ankles and true to her word yanking you out of bed, your body hitting the carpeted floor with a thump as she loomed over you.

"get dressed. if theres no pancakes when we get to breakfast i will be holding you personally responsible and you will pay for it!" your older sister warned, grabbing your top in hand and hauling you up to your feet, shoving a pile of clothes into your hand and pushing you toward the bathroom.

"stop manhandling me hagrid!" you snapped as alessia chose to ignore you, making your bed up and getting herself comfortable on top of it, scrolling through her phone as you snatched yours from the nightstand.

"hurry up!" you were trying to brush your hair back into something more presentable, face still puffy from your half asleep state as her fist thumped loudly against the door.

with a roll of your eyes you gave up, flipping your head and tying your hair up into a messy bun. poking at the bags under your eyes with a sigh, the impatient knocking continuing as you quickly covered them up with a few dabs of concealer.

"i hope you break your hand." you spoke in a monotone as you flung the door open, barely having ten seconds to step outside before her hands grabbed the collar of your jumper and dragged you out of the room.

"let go less! i'm not four years old trying to run away in a shopping centre for god sakes i don't need you to hold my hand i am an adult." you huffed, ripping your hand away from hers and storming off ahead to the elevator as alessia hung back for a second to wait for ella to catch up.

"might need this though? and everyone says you're the genius in the family." alessia held up your key card which was the only thing that allowed you to enter and exit the elevator, holding it out of your reach.

"say sorry for being so grumpy." alessia demanded with a smug smile as you tried to stretch for the card without luck, your sister always having had a head or two of height on you with her ridiculously long limbs.

"no! didn't you make a big song and dance about not being late for breakfast? because the only one making us late is you!" the older girl groaned as you punched her half heartedly in the stomach, snatching the key as she doubled over.

"mary she's tryna kill me!" you hid behind the taller keeper using her body as a shield as she joined you with grace in tow, alessia sending you daggers from across the elevator as mary chuckled but remained a nice protective barrier between the two of you anyway.

"alessia!" you protested as your sister snatched your plate, dumping what you'd already chosen and picking your food for you, pushing you away every few seconds with her spare hand as you tried to intervene.

"why are you such a mum? i can pick my own food!" you demanded which was dismissed with a flick of her hand, too busy chattering away to ella to pay you and your whinging any attention.

"you have to fuel your body properly and that means a balanced breakfast." the blonde lectured, holding your plate hostage in her hands as she walked off.

with your food held captive you were forced you to follow her as you sent grace a pleading look who only smirked and shook her head, sat at a different table than the one your sister sat down at.

"baby russo! where have you been hiding then? i missed you." lucy pulled you into a hug as you took your seat beside her and across from alessia who finally slid your plate over to you. "hiding from her!" you grumbled, stabbing your eggs and shooting alessia a glare who smiled and wiggled her fingers at you in a sarcastic wave.

you sighed and glanced down at your plate which granted was loaded, but not with everything you'd have put on it thanks to your sisters apparent new nutritionist qualifications.

your face lit up as mary joined the table, subtly dumping two hashbrowns and an extra piece of bacon onto your plate with a wink as she sat on your other side squishing you between her and lucy as the three of you fell into conversation.

"oi baby russo, sarina wants to see ya." you'd finished eating as millie suddenly appeared, nodding for you to follow her as your face paled a little, head swirling with a hundred worries of why she might want to see you, all of them negative.

"i can take her mills." your sister stepped in with a reassuring smile as millie headed off to grab breakfast. "come on." she stood with a flick of her head as mary squeezed your shoulder and stacked your empty plate on top of hers.

following after your sister you didn't speak a single word, holding your breath until you stepped out of the cafeteria and the noise and chatter of the team ceased, exhaling shakily.

"come here." your sister spoke softly and opened her arms as you settled into them, your own wrapping around her torso as she embraced you, chin resting on the top of your head.

"i know all you can think of is bad reasons why she wants to see you, but if you freak out and focus on all of the what ifs then you're going to ruin this opportunity for yourself before we even start." alessia murmured, rubbing your back comfortingly.

"she probably just wants to check how you're settling in and go through the motions with you. so stop overthinking because i can hear your tiny little brain going into a meltdown." she teased lightly as you cracked a smile.

she let you go but her arm slipped over your shoulder drawing you into her side as she walked you down to the office, pausing a couple doors down and turning you to face her.

"i love you, sarina loves you, the girls loves you. this is your moment, grab it with two hands and make the most of it yeah? show them why you got called up and why you've earned a place on this team." her hands settled on your shoulders as if trying to charge you up with confidence as you nodded.

she might be overbearing, overprotective and over dramatic at the best of times. but alessia would always be your big sister and secretly, you'd never tell her this, without her you wouldn't be half the human let alone the footballer you were, and it flooded you with relief to take the plunge into this next step of your career with her by your side.

again you didn't dare to tell her that for fear of the relentless teasing that would follow. but you didn't need to anyway, she already knew, because sisters always know.

[breeloveschris]

Eyes Like The Ocean

Pt 2

Pairing: Chris x Reader

Summery: Just a girl on vacation at her beach house who meets a boy on the beach, what happens when she has to go back home.

Warnings: cussing, mentions of loss of a parent (briefly talked about)

Breespeaks: new series!! Eyes Like The Ocean. I hope y’all enjoy and I promise you guys this will be so much better then you’ll never understand, keep in mind, You’ll never understand was my first work ever.. lol anyways! Enjoy:)

I quickly made my way out of the cafe, and making a beeline to my car just wanting to get home already.

I’ve been working for the past 9 hours, and I just wanna take a shower and crawl in bed. Today’s already started off shitty when I was called into work on my day off.

Somehow in the first two hours of being at work I ended up spilling coffee all over me, I also had a middle aged man throw a whole drink all over my outfit.

All because there were no seats left and I wouldn’t tell people to move. Shame on me I guess.

I drove the 10 minute drive from work to my home, well Apartment. As soon as I got into my house I went straight to my closet grabbing a sweatshirt and some shorts.

I took a two hour long shower, I didn’t even notice the coffee all in the tips of my hair until I started taking off my clothes. It was an everything shower type of day.

As soon as I got out of the shower I went straight to my couch and turned on Bambi, my favorite movie.

I’ve been living in New Jersey since I was 8, I moved here from Boston Massachusetts. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss Boston, but New Jersey is also where my family is and I don’t know what id do without my sister and her husband.

My sister is 5 years older than me, She’s 23 with a husband and a nice house. If I look up to anyone it’s her, she has her life together more than our mother ever did.

Every spring we go to Cape Cod, we have a cute little family home down near the beach. Last year we didn’t get to go because Allies husband was sick.

We plan on going in two days, and if everything checks out we will be there. And let’s just say I’m beyond excited, I miss it there.

I was scrolling through TikTok when I got a FaceTime call from my sister, “hey Allie!” I said with a smile as I paused the movie. “Hey, I was just calling to make sure you’re still down to go” she said smirking as if I’d ever decline the offer to spend a week in Cape Cod.

“Girl stop playing, you know that I’m always down” I said getting up and walking to the kitchen, setting my phone up so she could still see me as I grabbed chicken nuggets from the freezer.

“Yeah.. I’m sorry about last year, he got sick so randomly.” She said with a frown, “it’s okay, we’re going this year” I said with a shrug as I threw the chicken nuggets in the air fryer.

“Whoop whoop” I heard Gavin shout in the background.

I laughed and shook my head as I put my elbow on the counter and leaned on my hand. “How was work?, you look like you’ve had a long day” Gavin said with a small laugh.

“Dude! This guy threw a drink all over me because I wouldn’t tell other customers to move” I said groaning, “wow, remind me to never work in the food industry ever again” Allie said laughing. I laughed and shook my head.

“I wasn’t even supposed to go in today, but they said since I won’t be here Friday I should go in for someone else so they can take my shift on Friday” I said rolling my eyes.

We talked for 2 hours, and as soon as we got off the phone I started the movie over so I could listen to it as I clean and lock the house up.

I went to bed as soon as I got done with all the house work, I turned my fan on high and went straight to sleep.

I woke up very early going straight to my bathroom to brush my teeth and brush my hair, I looked into the mirror and smiled “One more day” I whispered.

I walked back into my room sighing, time to deep clean this room so I can come back to a clean room. Right after I spend an hour on TikTok, I thought with a smirk as I jumped on my bed.

I’ve been cleaning my room for the past two hours when I heard a knock on my door, I furrowed my eyebrows not expecting anyone to come over.

I walked to my door and opened it revealing a bag of Taco Bell with a note stuck to it. I picked it up and walked inside placing the bag on the counter and taking the note off to read it.

“Don’t forget to eat, and make sure you pack bathing suits, I really don’t feel like shopping for some as soon as we get there cause you forgot <3 Allie”

I laughed and shook my head, I ran into my room picking up my phone sending a quick thank you to her. I walked back into the kitchen and ate my Taco Bell because I’ve been up for 3 hours and still haven’t ate.

After I got done eating I went into my room to change, I changed into a sweatshirt and sweatpants as it’s always cold in my apartment.

I started to pack pretty early because it usually takes me over 2 hours to pack, I’m indecisive as fuck.

It indeed took me two hours and 56 minutes to pack, but I got it done and that’s all that matters. I honestly just wanna go to sleep now so I can hurry up and wake up in the morning.

We’re leaving at 6:30 in the morning because we have a 5 hour drive and we want to make it there before lunch.. before all the tourists get there.

I don’t have many friends. I only have one friend, Alyssa. She lives in the cape, So I only get to see her once a year and we FaceTime through the year. It’s hard but we make it work.

I put on some random movie on as I started to deep clean the living room.

I was about 30 minutes into cleaning when I found an old picture. More specifically, a picture of my dad. Tears immediately sprung to my eyes, my dad was my best friend and the only reason why our family stayed together.

He was the best dad around for as long as he could be, he passed away when I was 16. Luckily my sister was already moved out so I was able to just go live with her instead having to get a hold of my mother.

I sighed and wiped my eyes, standing up and walking over to my mirror in the hallway and putting it with all my other pictures that littered my mirror.

I continued to clean the living room for another hour and a half. I finally finished, the only reason why it took me so long was because the kitchen is connected to the living room so I also cleaned the kitchen.

I took a shower and did my nightly routine before putting all of the stuff that I use in my bookbag, besides my toothbrush and hairbrush. I laid in bed for like an hour before actually drifting off.

I got rudely woken up by someone shaking me, I gasped and jumped back. I opened my eyes wide to look at my intruder, just seeing my sister.

I groaned loudly and threw my pillow at her face, “you bitch” I said rubbing my eyes sighing.

“Always sleep with one eye open baby sis, I don’t understand how you still get scared when you know I have a key” she said shaking her head. “Well usually you don’t come in here shaking me like a damn earthquake” I said glaring at her.

“Girl, put a smile on your face. We’re going to the cape!! Oh by the way Gavin has already taken your shit to the car” she said with a laugh, “Allie!! I needed to put my toothbrush in my bookbag” I said throwing my head back.

“Stop yapping and get ready, I wanna leave” she said dragging out leave. I roll my eyes and get off the bed as Allie left, probably to rummage through my snacks.

I go to my closet changing into a pair of sweat shorts, and a cropped baby pink tank top. I went to the bathroom and brushed my hair and teeth, bringing both brushes and my toothpaste out into the living room.

As soon as I walk in the living room I see Gavin and Allie sitting on my couch talking, I coughed showing that I was there. Gavin whipped his head around and jumped up running over towards me, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and spinning me around.

We all busted out laughing as he placed me back to the ground. “Dude your gonna give me a headache and I haven’t even been around you for more then 10 seconds” I said with a laugh.

“Hey! That’s very rude.” He said pouting, “boohoo, can you hold this” I said as I pushed what was in my hands to his chest which he grabbed.

I turned around immediately and started walking to my room, “what the fuck am I supposed to do with this Y/n?!” he said with raised eyebrows. I just shrugged and flipped him off over my shoulder.

“Go put it in the car Gavin” Allie said with a laugh, I turned around and pointed at her “ding ding ding” I said with a smirk.

I turn back around and walk through my door, walking back into my closet I grabbed a pair of socks and my white Nike platform tennis shoes.

We made our way to the car after locking up my apartment and grabbing the things I didn’t pack before because they were still in use.

When we got to the car I hopped into the back groaning and jumping back out. “What?” Allie asked as she climbed into the drivers seat, “I forgot my blanket” I said as I turned around running up the stairs back to my apartment.

I got my blanket and even brought a pillow because it’s a 5 hour drive and I’m hoping to get some sleep.

We were an hour into the drive when Allie and Gavin wanted to switch because Allie didn’t feel like driving anymore, I’m assuming, I don’t really know because I have my headphones on blaring some old lil skies.

We made it to the beach right at 11:40. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, “get up loser, we home” Allie said from the front. “Bitch I’m awake” I said shaking my head with a laugh, “yea bitch she’s awake” Gavin said from the trunk making me and Allie whip our heads around.

“Gavin!” Me and Allie both said at the same time which made us all fall over laughing.

I opened my door with a big smile and breathing in the salty air with closed eyes. “Oh how I’ve missed you” I whispered, “oh hell nah, don’t you start that shit” Gavin said shaking his head and moving his finger side to side as to say no.

“Dude shut up, I’m talking to my favorite place” I said as I held up a hand towards him. I turned and looked at the beautiful beige, one story house, my smile only growing.

“Allie! Gimme the keys.. right now!” I said turning to her, she tossed them to me and I made a bee line to the door only stopping to get my bags from Gavin, I’ll get my stuff from the car later.

I ran my fingers along side of the fingers as I walked towards my room. I walked into my room seeing everything was exactly how i left it.

I opened the balcony door that was in my room and stepped out, the weather is so nice, probably like 85 degrees.

I was just looking out at the ocean from the balcony, I never wanna leave this place.

I felt hands on my shoulders which made me jump and gasp turning around quick, seeing Allie. “If you don’t stop fucking scaring me” I said rolling my eyes.

“My bad, I just wanted to see if you wanted to go down to the beach with me. Gavin said he didn’t want too because “he’s tired” but I really want too” she said holding her hands together like she was begging me.

“Girl bye, you had me at beach” I said smirking, she yelled out a loud “Yahooo” I punched her arm and pushed her inside. We were laughing so hard that Gavin came in and looked at us like he just saw a ghost which made us laugh harder.

Allie left my room so I could change, I changed into a cute blue floral bikini that showed my little sun tattoo just on my hip. I threw my phone on the bed as I walked out of my room.

We walked down the cute flower trail we have in the backyard leading to the beach.

We made it to the beach with huge smiles, it wasn’t that crowded at all, our favorite. We looked at each other and smirked “Last one in has to pay for dinner” I said as I dashed towards the ocean. “Your cheating?!” Allie said running after me, I just laughed as I jumped in.

I came back up and looked around me to find Allie, I couldn’t find her anywhere until I felt arms around my shoulder as I was getting flung back under the water. I came back up laughing and looking at her “you bitch” I said shaking my head.

“That’s your favorite word today huh?” She said laughing, I just shrugged “maybe” I said with a smirk. She just laughed and shook her head.

I sighed and looked around trying to see if I could see any familiar faces. I ended up locking eyes with a boy who looked around my age, he had the prettiest eyes, he has eyes like the ocean that’s for sure.

He smirked and waved, my cheeks went rosy as a small smile spread across my face, he looked away a few seconds later. I hope I see more of him.

“Y/n!” Allie whispered as she pushed my shoulder, “what?” I asked as I turned around. “That dude was totally checking you out” she said as she nodded her head in his direction, “no, he was just being polite, I was looking first” I said shrugging.

“Bro.. catch a dick or something” she said smirking, I gasped “Allie!!” I said pushing her under the water. She came up laughing, “live a little, you’re only 19” she said smiling. This trip is gonna be so much fun.

Breespeaks pt 2: phewwww she’s a long one hehe, do we like it? Are we excited?? Idk about y’all but I’m fs excited. Also if you’d like to be tagged in this series please comment here

Taglist: @stuniolobbg @iloveneilperry @freshloveforthefit @nicksmainbitch @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosreads @novasturniolo03 @robins-scoop @jennss23 @hearts4chriss @creamoncreamoncream2 @tcvazq @bunbunbl0gs @lacysturniolo @chrisloyalgf @lilsstvrn @youaremyfiveever @whicked-hazlatwhore @gnxosblog @annamcdonalds67 @1blowyourmind @ilovedasturniolos @bellbottombaby @pinklittleflower @dlyansworld @sleepdeprivedandinsane @sttzee e @sturniololol @emerald-09 @kqyslyho3 @beardedstudentsuit @ifilwtmfc @sturnssmuts @luverboychris @bitterspoons @jada-lockwood

(I tagged everyone so y’all could see it, but I will be making a separate taglist so please lmk)

[sinofwriting]

So Many Reasons - Ollie Bearman

Words: 3,343 Summary: She honestly just wants to go to these two races to see her brother so he won’t complain about never seeing her anymore that is it. She has exams, an internship, and a job, she doesn’t have time for any of this. Note(s): Thank you V once again for commissioning the fic! I had a lot of fun writing it and may or may not have spent an hour researching different business degrees and universities and such. Reader is Andrea Kimi Antonelli’s older sister. Age gap of 3 years between her and Ollie. Not good family dynamics between her and Kimi and their father.

Taglist | Masterlist | Emergency Dental Fund

“Andrea, no.” Her voice is firm, perhaps harsh but she doesn’t care. She was tired, hungry, and had to stay up for at least another six hours. Her last red bull in her bag sounded better every second. “C’mon, sorella. It is my first F2 race. You can miss a few classes.” Her jaw clenches and she forces herself to take a deep breath. Thank god this was just a phone call. “No, Andrea. I can’t. I have exams.” “Ask for an extension.” “Andrea,” she snaps. “Does padre know you are asking me this?” His voice is quiet, “no.” She sighs, pushing away her work. “How is your school work going?” “It’s fine.” “And the sim?” “Good.”

It’s quiet between the two siblings.

“It’s been months since we last saw each other. Do you not miss me?” “We saw each other at Christmas.” She reminds him but softens. “Of course I do. But I’m busy. I can’t take a few days away to go to a race, at least not one that’s not in Europe.” She looks at her planner, at the days blocked out with different colors. Purple for exams, blue for classes, yellow for work, green for work and classes, the dreaded orange for when she had both exams and work. It was filled for days, weeks, and months. “I could maybe make it for Imola.” She’d have to talk to her professors, put in her time now for work, but she didn’t have any exams the day after his feature race. “Maybe even Monaco if you can get me a spare pass.” She shouldn’t go to Monaco, not with her final exams to obtain her MBA starting just the day after the race, but she didn’t have any work those days and she could always bring her books with her. “Really?” She smiles at the excitement in his voice. “Really. Are you sure you want your big sister around?” “Yes. It will be nice to have family in the paddock. Someone other than dad.” She hums, eyes widening as they catch the time. “Let me know about the passes for the different races, okay? As soon as you get them I’ll talk to my professors.” “I will.” “Bye Andrea.” “Bye.”

—

“Mr. Garcia?” She knocks on the door frame. “You asked to see me?” He smiles, beckoning her in. “Yes. Please sit.” He gestures at the chairs in front of his desk before quickly typing something. She sits down, smoothing the fabric of her skirt. “I wanted to talk to you about your plans after you get your MBA.” “I’d like to get a travel position or be able to work remotely half of the time. Then I think after ten years of doing that, I’d like to take a bigger account or two.” He hums, looking at her consideringly. “Why the travel position?” “I like traveling, going to different places, and when I went once before with Maria, I liked what she had to do.” “You're also good with languages.” “Yes.” “And the hybrid?” She fidgets a little. “The same reasons really as the travel position and I like the extended hours.” His lips twitch into a smile, “Maria hated remote.” She nods.

“She said you’d be suited for it.” Her leg that had started to bounce stops. He leans forward, “I’d like to keep you on. I know that your internship with Maria ends the first week of May. And that you’re only supposed to continue to work with us until August. But I’d like to offer you the remote position, starting June 20th.” She looks at him with a slight open mouth. “What,” she clears her throat. “What exactly would that look like?” He pushes forward a folder. “All of the details are in there, but there are two important things. There will only be a few days every month that require you in the office. Those days are always made known at least two weeks in advance, some as much as six months.” She nods. “The second is you will have strict deadlines. Miss two within a three month period and you will be on probation, meaning that for a time you will be spending at least eighty hours in office for the month, until your probation is up. Look over all the details and get back to me next week.” “Of course.” Taking the folder, she stares at it before standing. “Thank you, Mr. Garcia.” “Of course, Ms. Antonelli.”

—

“Andrea!” She calls, seeing him looking around. His head turns to look at her, a large grin taking over his face. “Sorella!” He calls, jogging over to her. “You made it.” She rolls her eyes, pushing him away when he tries to give her a hug. “I told you two weeks ago I’d make it to Imola. It’s not my fault, you don’t listen.” She touches her ears before giving him a quick hug. “How are you feeling?” “Good.” She hums, following him as he leads her to what she assumes is Prema’s space for this race.

The good was false that was more than clear to see, if she wasn’t his sister, she’d know just by looking at the F2 races so far. Round four with no podiums? Or pole position. Her brother was surely smarting. She wondered if it had hit him yet that he wasn’t the most talented driver in this series yet.

Entering the Prema garage she smiles when Rene immediately greets her.

“How are you?” “I’m good. Very good. How are you? How is Angelina?” “I am good, I’m sure you saw the Indycar news.” She nods, watching as Andrea starts talking to either a mechanic or an engineer. “I did. It sounds amazing.” “Very amazing. And Angelina, well,” He pauses, turning his head and calling her over.

“Oh, Y/N.” “Angelina.” She greets back, melting into the hug the older woman gives. “How are you doing?” “I’m doing good. And you are well?” “Of course, it is the season.” She smiles at her, knowing all too well how much everyone loved the motorsport season.

“Kimi!” Angelina calls and she has to stop herself from flinching at the use of his nickname. “You did not tell me that your sister was coming.” He shrugs, “She’s coming next race as well.” “You are coming to Monaco?” She shrugs, adjusting her purse. “It’s my last free time before my exams and Andrea asked when I was going to come.” Rene and Angelina share a look but before either can say anything, someone interrupts.

“Angelina, Dino and Antonio are wondering about the next shoot.” The older woman sighs, “And neither of them could get me themselves.” He shoots her a grin, and it’s the sight of his grin that makes her realize that this is Andrea’s teammate. “I volunteered.” Angelina shakes her head, muttering under her breath but leaves the small group.

“Ah, Ollie, this Y/N. Y/N, this is Ollie.” Rene introduces. She shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you.” “You as well. Are you new to the team?” “No.” She laughs, pulling her hand from his. “Just a guest for this race and next.” “Oh.” He looks at Rene questioningly, but the older man is already in conversation with other people. “I could give you a tour, if you’d like.” “You don’t need to do that.” He smiles, giving a small shrug with his shoulders. “I don’t mind.” “Don’t you have race prep?” She can see just behind him, Andrea talking to another two people, their heads all gathered around a tablet. “I finished mine already.” Her lips purse. “At least let me get you a coffee from Ferrari’s hospitality.” Her nose nearly wrinkles at the word coffee, but Ferrari… She wasn’t into motorsports by choice, but she was Italian. She knew the allure of Ferrari and more so now Charles Leclerc than the team itself better than anyone. “So, coffee?” He grins. She sighs but nods. “Just one though.” She doesn’t think she could stomach another one.

“You don’t like coffee do you?” He asks nearly twenty minutes later as she sips at the coffee he got her and she chooses not to think too hard about the money she tried to hand him that he refused. “No.” She laughs. “But you like Ferrari.” “I’m Italian, Ollie. I think I get kicked out of the country, especially this part if I don’t bleed rosso corsa.” “Yet your brother is a Mercedes junior.” She pauses, “My brother?” His eyebrows furrow. “I’m sorry, it’s just Kimi, he has a picture of you. I asked about it once, because I already knew what his girlfriend looked like.” “I didn’t know that.” She wondered when the picture was from. Not from this Christmas, that was for sure. Ollie stares at her for a few seconds, something dancing in his eyes before turning the conversation back around. “It is a bit funny isn’t it? An Italian choosing Mercedes, while an Englishman chooses Ferrari.” “A second Charles Leclerc in the making.” She muses, remembering an article that said it. He flushes red. “I wouldn’t say that.” She shrugs, “Then other people will for you.”

Her phone buzzing makes her look away and she rolls her eyes at the text from Andrea. “I have to go back, Andrea is looking for me. Thank you for the coffee.” He nods, standing with her. “No problem.” He then opens his mouth again, quickly closing it. She raises an eyebrow and he flushes a bit more. “Could I get your number?” “Ah.” She glances down at her phone, another text on the screen. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “Why not?” She can think of a million reasons. “It’s just not a good idea.” She settles on. “What if I want it as a friend?” She sends him a look and he grins. “I could do friends.” She shakes her head, “I need to go. Thank you again.” “Anytime.”

—

“You're at a race.” “Padre.” She greets, watching the screens as the sprint race goes into its fifth lap. “Andrea asked me to come.” “You don’t like races.” Her lips thin. “No, I don’t. But he wanted to see me, I made time.” “Have you made time for the interview I want scheduled?” “No.” He starts to say her name and she shakes her head. “No, padre. I’m here for Andrea, to see him. Just like I will be for Monaco, that is it. I have no interest in working for you.” “For the family.” “Or that.” He sighs.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she winces at the way Andrea gets overtaken, can already imagine the way he’ll beat himself up over it if he doesn’t regain the position, especially with the way Ollie is in P2, no battle in sight, as he more than comfortably keeps the place.

An arm wraps around her shoulders and she easily goes into her fathers side. “I miss my little girl.” She bites back on the words that want to crawl from her throat. “Love you too.”

—

“So,” she startles at the sound of a voice and the owner of it grins. “You don’t like coffee.” “Hello, Ollie.” “Hi.” He greets back. “You don’t like coffee.” He repeats. “I don’t like coffee.” She can’t help but smile at the way he grins at her responding to him. “What about,” he pauses looking around, before leaning closer and lowering his voice. “Red bull?” “I’m listening.”

She has to stop herself from giggling as Ollie leads her through Ferrari’s garage. She really shouldn’t be here. And not just because she shouldn’t even be at the race.

Stopping in front of a door, she watches as Ollie knocks, sending her a grin as he does.

“Hello?” The voice is a little confused. “Ollie! Come in, come in.” And Ollie grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers as he pulls her into the room with him. “Hi Charles.” Her eyes widen at the name and she quickly schools her expression though neither are looking at her. “What are you doing here?” Ollie grins at the older man. “I wanted to introduce you to someone and raid your fridge.” Charles rolls his eyes. “At least you don’t ask permission anymore.”

The tease makes her stiffen, this was a lot more than she felt she should be seeing or hearing.

“No, I learned.” Ollie laughs and then he’s tugging her closer. “Charles, this is Y/N.” A bit of tension leaves her when he doesn’t say her last name. “Y/N, this is Charles.” “Bonjour.” She greets, keeping her free hand firmly by her side as she wiggles her fingers in Ollie’s hand, but he just brushes his thumb over her knuckles. Charles’ eyes brighten at the greeting. “Bonjour. Est-ce un accent italien que j'entends?” (“Hello. Is that an Italian accent I hear?”) “Oui. Je suis italienne et je vis actuellement en France.” (“Yes. I am Italian currently living in France.) His grin widens. “Oh, très bien. Votre français est bon.” (“Oh, very nice. Your French is good.”) She ducks her head. “Merci.” (“Thank you.”)

“I didn’t know you spoke French.” Ollie says. She gives him a look. It should make his smile falter a little, but it only grows. “An Italian living in France. A bit uncommon, no?” Charles asks, handing her then Ollie a Red Bull. Before grabbing one for himself. “I study there.” “What are you studying?” Ollie asks, “Ki,” he stops himself. “Andrea never said.” Her eyes narrow at the catch, wondering why exactly he did it. “Accounting. And I’m not surprised. If it’s not something racing related, my brother has no interest.” Charles laughs. “I think Lorenzo and you would get along well. Having siblings that live and breath racing while you don’t.” “Maybe.” “Are you close to getting your degree?” “I am actually. My final exams start Monday.” “And you came to the Monaco Grand Prix?” Charles’ eyes are wide. “Yes.” “My goodness.” He looks at Ollie, winking at him. “This one is a keeper.” “Oh,” she says, feeling blood rush to her cheeks and Ollie is turning pink. “We aren’t.” He shrugs, taking a drink of his red bull. “Maybe not yet.” His eyes then fall to their still intertwined fingers and she gives another tug to Ollie’s hand, expecting him now to let go, but he doesn’t. “No, not yet.”

—

“What race are you coming to next?” Her hand tingles at the sound of Ollie’s voice. “I’m not.” “What?” She turns to face him. “Andrea wanted me at the first race of the season, but I couldn’t make it, so I said I’d come to these two.” She doesn’t mention that the want of her coming was because he apparently missed her. She had her doubts about that, especially after this weekend. “You don’t think he’ll ask you to come again?” She looks around, seeing no one nearby, she sighs. “Even if he did, I wouldn’t come. I love my brother, but not on race weekends, not during the season. I’ve seen you more than him.” Ollie’s face that had looked shocked, turns to understanding. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.” She shrugs. “He’s busy.” Ollie looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn’t.

Instead he leans a bit closer, “so, could I get your number now?” She laughs, shaking her head. “No. Still not happening.” “Oh, c’mon. I won today. This is the one thing I want as the Monaco F2 feature race winner.” She shakes her head. “Maybe, if you actually wanted it as a friend. I’d say yes.” “And why can’t we be more than friends?” He’s closer now somehow and she has to swallow around the lump in her throat. “Ollie,” Her name spills from his lips in a gentle sigh as he leans ever closer. “We can’t.” She whispers, hand against his chest, holding him place. “Why? Give me one good reason why.”

He’s guiding her backwards, down the short hallway and into a room that’s thankfully empty, the door shutting behind him.

“One good reason.” “You’re Andrea’s teammate.” “For nine more weekends.” She lets out a shaky breath, watching as his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “I’m busy with school and work.” “You have final exams this week, which you’ll pass. And I’m busy with work as well.” “You're younger than me. I’m twenty-two, you just turned nineteen.” He shrugs, her eyes following the strong line of shoulders with the movement. “I’m an adult. And I like you.” “Ollie.” She breathes. He’s closer than ever before, their lips nearly brushing. “I’m still waiting.” Her eyes scan his face, his words full of confidence, his body too, but he’s flushed and his nervousness is easy to read. And she delivers the reason that has to make him see reason. Because she doesn’t know if he stays this close to her if she can stop herself from kissing him. “Your parents,” his throat bobs. “Would never approve.” He looks at her and she looks back, holding her breath, waiting for him to back away but he doesn’t, and god when does Ollie ever do things she expects. “They don’t need to.” He whispers and then he’s kissing her.

—

“What are you talking about?” “Andrea,” “No.” He stops her, shaking her head. “What do you mean, you are seeing Oliver?” He spits the name out. “Don’t, Andrea.” “NO!” His face is red and she’s reminded of the times when he wanted candy that she had and threw a fit over not getting it instead. “He is, he is,” he shakes his head. “I don’t even know what he is. He is my teammate, he works in motorsports, you hate motorsports.” She keeps quiet, watching as her brother processes the news. “He is younger than you, barely older than me. And you.” He shakes his head again. “Does padre know?” She scoffs, now shaking her head. “Does padre know? That’s all you care about isn’t it. If our father approves or not, if he knows what he thinks, because heaven forbid Kimi,” he flinches at the name. “You think for yourself.” “That is not.” “Don’t.” She cuts him off. “Yes, he knows. Don’t worry he disapproves as well. So, you don’t have to think for yourself again.”

She stares at her younger brother, knowing that this is her fault, but she can’t, she still doesn’t have it in her to deal with it, not today. “I will talk to you sometime, Andrea.”

—

“Your fans are lovely.” Ollie makes a humming sound, half asleep. She pauses her scrolling on twitter, unable to stop herself from liking the picture of Charles’ dog in his own personal little car. “Your fans. Very creative as well. They can’t call me a gold digger, but a fame seeker? Well, if the shoe fits.” “They what?” He sounds so much more awake, it makes her laugh. “It’s just hate, Ollie. I’m an old woman praying on the young. Apparently I’m like Piquet.” “Ew.” And she can picture his nose wrinkling. “You know you aren’t though right?” “An old woman?” She jokes. “A predator.” She softens, turning in his arms, so that they are chest to chest. “I know.” “I mean, really if anything I was.” “You were very insistent.” He flushes. “Only a little.” She nods, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Only a little.”

“I know we talked about it before, but are you okay with everything?” “Yes. I mean, it hurts that Andrea is still not okay with it but my father’s opinion has not mattered to me in a long time. And no matter what the media and fans were never going to give us peace, so I made my peace with that as well. Besides, your parents are okay with it.” “They love you.” “Our friends are understanding.” “They are.” “And you aren’t about to dedicate any more podiums to me.” He grins at her and dread starts to form in her stomach. “Ollie…” “About that last one.” “Ollie!”

@crashingwavesofeuphoria @poppyflower-22 @racingheartsposts @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @hiireadstuff @iloveyou3000morgan @boiohboii @bibliosaurous @skepvids @elliegrey2803

[nataliesfirefly]

You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 6

a/n: hey guys!! im so sorry this part has taken me so long! im currently on a trip so i havent had much time to write! but i hope this makes up for it, im super excited for yall to read this!!! also i think im going to plan for this series to have a few more chapters, probably max 9 or 10! i love it sm i really dont want it to end 😭 but anyways enjoyyy and comment what you think! and again i apologize if the smut is mid.. btw this is not proofread LMAO

series masterlist

playlist

word count: 4.9k words

warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving), p in v, angst, language, smoking, afab reader

You’re sitting in your bed, reading a magazine, when your flip phone rings. You lean forward to pick it up from the corner of the bed, wondering who could be calling you this late. You raise your eyebrows when you see that it’s Lola. You haven’t spoken to her since school got out. Nevertheless, you answer it and put the phone up to your ear.

“Lola! Hey,” You grin. “Oh my God, I’m so glad you picked up. I’m so bored around here,” She groans, and you smile even bigger at the sound of her voice on the other end. “Around where?” You ask curiously.

“My parents’. I have to babysit my younger sister all the time. It’s exhausting, really,” She moans. “I just want to like, go to a party or something. Honestly, I would even prefer to be going to classes right now instead of this.”

“Wow. That must mean it’s really bad then, huh?” You continue flipping through the magazine, your eyes scanning through the apparently trending fashion and makeup choices at the moment.

“Yes. Ugh. You’re at Saltburn, right?” She asks. “Yeah.” You reply.

“How’s that going?” Lola questions, and you hear another voice in the background that sounds like her, only higher-pitched. “No, I’m on the phone. Go away. Shoo,”

You try not to snicker at her shooing away her little sister. “It’s…” You trail off, trying to decide the right way to describe how the summer is going so far for you. “I don’t know. Different.”

“How so?” You pause and wonder if you should tell her what’s been going on. You decide it’s probably better not to and keep some things to yourself.

“I think it’s just cause we’re growing up. I mean, we graduate in less than two years.” You shrug and reach over to grab your glass of wine. “Oh God, don’t remind me. My parents are still asking me what my plans are,” She sighs loudly.

“I can’t believe it.” You shake your head and close the magazine, uninterested in the latest celebrity drama. An idea suddenly forms in your mind.

“Hey, the Cattons are throwing one of their big summer parties in a few days. I could invite you?” You suggest. You hear Lola gasp. “Really?! I’d love to go. I’ve heard so many stories about the Saltburn parties.” She makes it sound so dramatic, and you giggle.

“And you’d get a chance to see Felix,” You grin as you hear her jumping around. “Yeah, I would! You don’t need to convince me any further. I’ll be there,” She pauses. “Wait, but they’ll let me come, right?”

“Oh, of course. They like me a lot, so I’m sure they won’t mind.” You assure her. “Okay, perfect. Thank you so much, my love. I’ll let you get some sleep. See you soon!” She squeals excitedly and you roll your eyes with a smile as she hangs up.

You set down your phone and sigh, looking around your dim room.

You haven’t been able to get Farleigh out of your mind since your little… moment two nights ago. He’s not avoiding you, but he’s not being nice either. He’s gone back to teasing you and embarrassing you in front of the Cattons. You should’ve known that if you got too close, he’d pull away and return to his old ways.

But every little glance you two share has your stomach fluttering and your heart pounding. Every insult meant to hurt or offend you has the opposite effect. In some depraved way, you like when he degrades you. The past two nights, you’ve laid awake and stared up at the ceiling, trying to relive that night when he made you feel so good. Just the thought of him had your mind reeling. You would do anything just to feel that way again. You’re hooked.

You can’t just keep wallowing in these feelings. You want to talk to him, work things out, and go back to how they used to be a week ago. More importantly, you just want to be in his presence. It gives you some kind of thrill to be around him. It’s like a game of roulette to see which version of him you’ll get each time, and you love it. You crave his attention.

You climb off of your large bed and walk determinedly to your door, opening it quietly and sneaking down the hallway. It’s quite a long walk to Farleigh’s room, but you don’t care. You pass Felix’s room, then Venetia’s. Both of their lights are out, telling you that everyone in the house is probably asleep by now. You can only hope and pray that Farleigh isn’t.

You eventually find yourself standing in front of his room. Dim light peeks through from under his door, and you sigh with relief. He’s still awake. Your decision catches up to you and you realize how stupid it is that you’re about to knock on his door. You shake your head to clear your doubt, raising your hand and gently knocking.

You hear his bed shifting and footsteps following close after. You swallow nervously, your throat suddenly feeling dry. Your heart races with anticipation as he finally opens the door.

Fuck. He’s shirtless with only a pair of sweatpants on. Your eyes trail down subconsciously before you blink and look back up to his face. Is he wearing underwear?

“Hello,” He says, his grin foxlike. “I can’t sleep. Can we talk?” You ask, your voice shaky. You curse yourself for sounding nervous. He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows. “Talk about what?” He questions.

You pause, unsure of what to say next. What were you going to talk about? He would deny any feelings towards you, so what was the point of even coming here?

“Just let me in, please.” You step forward and avoid his gaze. He steps to the side wordlessly, opening the door further to let you into his room.

You breathe in the familiar scent of that candle he’s always burning, and the scent of his cologne. It’s musky and spicy, with notes of vanilla. You tried to memorize it everytime you were close to him. You walk over to his bed and sit down on the edge, looking up at him as he closes the door behind him.

“Can I have a cigarette?” You ask, pointing to the pack sitting on his bedside table. He nods, and you carefully take one. He hands you the lighter.

He stares down at you as you light the cigarette, taking a drag from it. He chuckles to himself and you exhale, furrowing your eyebrows. “What’s funny?”

“You always said you hated the smell. Yet here you are, asking me for a cigarette,” He replies with a scoff. “Maybe you’re just a bad influence,” You shoot back, and his smile slightly fades.

You can see his eyes traveling down your body, lingering on your thighs and your bare legs. You had outgrown these sleep shorts, but you never cared because you figured no one would see you in them. Well, there goes that.

“Are we not going to talk about the other night?” You mutter. “What’s there to talk about?” He replies, and you roll your eyes. “Are you-” You pause and let out a frustrated breath. “Are you serious?” You exclaim angrily.

“You can’t blame it on being drunk this time, Farleigh.” You tell him, and he freezes, his gaze faltering downwards.

“Can we not talk about that? Let’s just…” He sighs with exasperation and sits next to you. You turn away from him, looking out the window. You decide not to press the issue, since it’s apparently too much for him to think about right now. Honestly, you aren’t even able to fully process what’s been going on between you two.

“Let’s just… talk,” He says finally, and you face him again, exhaling a small cloud of smoke. “Okay.” You shrug. It’s what you both do best: Talking. About anything and everything, despite the strange history of your relationship. You guessed that it was because you had known each other for so long, that it just came naturally. He’s just… real. He’s never pretending or putting on a façade, at least around you he’s not. Around the Cattons, he has to, because to them he’s just the wild child, the comedic relief, the American. You feel like you are the only one that gets to see the real Farleigh, and it feels like a privilege. But you know that’s not true, and you choose to believe it anyway.

“So… Our third year at Oxford,” Farleigh says. You let out a breath and raise your eyebrows. “Can’t believe it’s already been two years,” You both smile, thinking of all the good and bad memories you’ve made so far during your years at university.

“Can I be honest?” You ask, and he nods. “I’m scared.” You say simply. His eyebrows knit together. “Of what?” He replies. “Graduating. You know, I’ll probably go to graduate school or something, but I need to start making my own money. Get a job. Do adult things,” You sigh just at the thought of all the responsibilities. “I can’t be on a scholarship forever. Or have my parents pay forever,” You continue, shaking your head. “I’m putting them through enough as it is.”

Farleigh nods again with a look of understanding. “I might go back to the states. See my mom, maybe stay there for a while.” He says. You can’t help but feel a little sad at the thought of him being away for so long. You hate to admit it, but you would miss him.

“But we don’t have to worry about that right now. You’re too uptight. Let yourself have fun,” He nudges you softly. “I’m trying,” You mutter. “Well, you’re smoking. That’s one step closer,” He laughs a bit and you roll your eyes.

It goes quiet and you stare down into your lap. You can feel his eyes on you, and your heart begins to race with anticipation. That familiar tension returns in the air between you and Farleigh.

You look up slightly, his eyes meeting with yours. Your stomach churns as you look down to see his hand inching towards your thigh, eventually resting on top of it. “I know why you came here,” He says, his voice lowered.

You look back up to him. “What?” You whisper. “Don’t play dumb,” He shakes his head. “I’m not.” You reply, trying hard not to break the intense eye contact.

You gulp nervously and finally look away, your face giving you away and burning red. “Hmm,” He hums, his thumb brushing across your thigh. You try to distract yourself by pressing the cigarette out on the ashtray on his bedside table, watching the little flame burn out.

He gently reaches up and grabs your chin, tilting your head back towards him. He drags his thumb down your bottom lip as you stare into his eyes. He grins slightly before moving his hand to cup your cheek, leaning in closer until your noses brush together. You know you shouldn’t be doing this. You know Farleigh is emotionally unavailable and toxic, and he won’t ever discuss his feelings or yours. But you can’t help but melt into the kiss, his touch, his aura. It’s like he’s magnetic, pulling you in everytime you try to pull away.

Somehow, every single time he kisses you, it’s better than the first time. Your tongues intertwine as your lips move in a perfect rhythm while both of you fall back onto his bed clumsily. One of his hands tangles in your hair, and the one that was resting on your leg moves up to rest on your waist, his fingers caressing your bare skin due to your tank top riding up. He eventually shifts his position so that he’s on top of you, and you turn to lay on your back underneath him.

His kisses begin to move down to your jawline, then your neck. He sucks and licks your skin so cruelly, but you don’t want him to stop. You breathe in the scent of his hair, his curls tickling your face, and you can already feel yourself becoming weak again.

You feel his hands start to trail down your body, resting on your hips, as he moves down the bed and you peer down to see him looking up at you from between your legs. Feverish heat burns across your skin just at the sight of it.

“Wait, wait. I’ve never-“ You start, suddenly feeling nervous. “It’s okay,” Farleigh replies, his eyes soft and warm as he gazes up at you. “Just relax,” He murmurs, gently pulling down your shorts and panties at the same time, shuffling them off your legs.

Just relax, you think. Easier said than done. You’ve pictured this moment so many times in the past few days, and you can’t believe it’s becoming reality.

And of all the times you’ve fantasized about this, none of them could ever do Farleigh’s beauty justice. His dark eyes are shining with something of lust and hunger, his plush lips slightly parted and his shoulders broad and golden. His curly hair is only slightly wet from his shower earlier, yet still perfectly coiled.

He looks up at you, trying to convey something through his gaze. “So pretty,” He mutters, tracing a finger along your thigh. Your breath catches in your throat and you feel your stomach fluttering already.

He lifts your legs up and places them over his shoulders. Your heart pounds in anticipation and you can hear yourself breathing among the silence.

Farleigh leans down and presses a few kisses along your inner thigh, and you don’t know how much longer you can stand his teasing. You watch him gaze up at you through his lashes as he dips a finger into your wetness and you see the smirk that tugs at his lips. He raises his eyebrows at you and your face turns red. “Stop,” You cover your face with both hands, your stomach doing flips. You can’t handle how perfect he looks right now, even as he teases you for how soaked you are already.

“Hey, look at me,” He says, his deep voice vibrating against your skin. You let your hands fall back to your sides, smiling shyly. His expression turns more serious as he furrows his brows, slipping his finger inside of you. He moans before you even can, his head falling against your thigh.

That familiar stretch around his finger has your mind reeling as you throw your head back. He pulls it out and you whimper at the loss, until you feel his middle and ring finger on your clit. Your hands instinctively move to grasp the sheets as he strokes your bundle of nerves perfectly, letting your head fall back down to watch him. He continues to maintain eye contact and it makes you so weak.

Your brain almost turns to mush as you see him leaning down, his head buried between your legs. A moan louder than you intended leaves your mouth as you feel his tongue greedily licking a stripe up your pussy.

“Shit,” You huff, your chest heaving up and down. No one had ever given you head before, until now, so you didn’t really understand your girlfriends when they would tell you how amazing it felt. But now, you completely get it. His tongue moves in long, slow strokes and his pretty nose nudges perfectly against your clit.

He barely lifts his head so he can stare up at you to watch your reaction. You grind up against his face, your hand reaching down to grab a handful of his curls. He groans at the feeling before inserting a finger again, moving at the perfect pace along with his tongue. The combination is enough to make your legs shake. The lewd sounds of him lapping up your cum and both of your wanton moans echo throughout his room.

“Farleigh!” You almost scream his name before letting out a long, drawn out moan. He glances up at you once more, his pupils huge with lust. He moans against you as he absolutely devours you, adding a second finger in. His long fingers brush against that divine spot inside of you and you whimper helplessly, your other hand gripping his sheets as if it could help ground you somehow. That delicious heat builds in the base of your stomach, spreading like a fire.

“I’m gonna-“ You gasp for air, your chest heaving up and down. His eyes are half-lidded and he seems completely lost in the moment, just absolutely pussy drunk. “Let go,” He says, his voice deep and raspy.

And you do exactly that. The pleasure shoots through your veins like a drug, your grasp in his hair tightening and your hips rolling as you ride it out. You eventually come down from your high, letting your legs drop from his shoulders as you let out a shaky sigh, your heart still pounding against your ribs.

“Fuckk,” You breathe out, resting your head against the pillow. Farleigh crawls over you, leaning down to kiss you. The lower half of his face is covered in your slick, but you couldn’t care less. He kisses you passionately, desperately, groaning into your mouth. You can taste yourself on his lips and his tongue, and it just turns you on even more.

He pulls away, his lips hovering over yours. You look up at him and suddenly feel an indescribable desire wash over you as you stare into his deep brown eyes. It’s like you can’t get close enough to him, like you need more than everything he’s already given you. You want him inside of you. You want to feel every part of him. You want him to feel every part of you.

“Farleigh,” You whisper, reaching up to touch his face. “What is it?” He whispers back, lightly touching your own face.

“I want you,” You say. You don’t care how stupid you sound right now. This carnal desire has completely taken over you.

“In what way?” He replies, smirking smugly. “I think you know which way I mean,” You mutter. You don’t have time for his teasing, although you love it.

His expression softens and he seems to understand what you mean. “Please, I need you,” You can’t believe you’re begging for Farleigh of all people right now. You know you’ll be regretting it later. His eyes widen and he seems shocked by your confession.

“Far…” You whisper, tracing your finger along his lips. He opens his mouth to speak, hesitating slightly.

“Do you know what you do to me?” He asks, his voice soft. You look up at him and tilt your head. He takes your hand and guides it down below his waist while still looking down at you. You gasp softly when you feel that his dick is so hard underneath his sweatpants. It has to be painful. You slowly rub your hand against him and his eyebrows draw together as he stutters slightly, and it almost looks like he’s in pain.

“Baby-“ Farleigh whimpers. “Please,” You beg once again, and he nods, quickly taking his pants off and throwing them somewhere on the floor of his bedroom. You look down at his dick, and you have to keep your jaw from dropping.

It’s definitely the biggest you’ve seen, and although you haven’t seen many in your lifetime, you know he would be considered above average. It’s long, with a bit of girth to it, veiny and already leaking precum from the tip. You feel yourself starting to get nervous. You aren’t sure if you could even take all of it, but hell, you’re going to try. You hope he didn’t pick up on your reaction, because you know he would tease you over it.

He places his hands on either side of your head and leans down onto his elbows. He never takes his eyes off yours as he positions himself. You wrap your legs around his waist, letting your ankles rest on his back.

He slowly begins to slide in, and you grunt quietly at the pain. He goes a bit deeper before you panic and place a hand on his lower stomach, stopping him. “I can’t-“ You wince in pain.

“Yes, you can. You can take it,” He nods and brushes the side of your face with his fingers. He takes your hand off of his stomach gently and places your arm back onto the bed. You nod in an attempt to encourage yourself, gritting your teeth to withstand the pain. You reach up to his shoulders, resting your hands on his shoulder blades, trying to keep your nails from digging into his skin as you hold onto him.

“Fuck,” Farleigh grunts as your walls grip him tightly, sucking him in. Eventually he’s buried inside of you to the hilt, and you can feel every inch of him. You’re still trying to adjust to his size, and the pain is slowly subsiding as he groans and drops his head and closes his eyes. You press your hips up against his, trying to get him to start moving. “Far,” You mutter. You can tell he’s trying to hold back. He breathes heavily and opens his eyes again, gazing into yours.

“I’m ready,” You whisper. His eyebrows knit together as he rolls his hips slowly, causing your eyes to roll back and drawing a short moan out of you. He shudders, slightly pulling out of you before thrusting back in. You wonder how he’s so good at this as your nails dig crescent moons into his back with each slow thrust and roll of his hips. Your mouth falls open and you try to be quieter but it’s no use.

He buries his head into the crook of your neck, his curls tickling your face. He’s whimpering and moaning your name and other incoherent nonsense right into your ear. He sets a beautiful rhythm, his bed creaking underneath you as you sink into the plush of the mattress. You think you hear the headboard hitting the wall but you don’t care about the loud sounds you two are creating. You just don’t want this moment to end.

He looks back up to you and you can see he’s already fucked out. His eyes are even more glazed over than before and sex sweat forms on his brow. He whimpers helplessly and pants heavily. “You’re so good,” He breathes. “So, so good,” You could probably cum just from his words alone.

You let out a wanton moan as he hits that spot again, deep inside of you. “Oh, fuck!” You gasp and claw at his shoulders. He drops his head again, kissing your neck as he thrusts into you faster and deeper each time, hitting your spot over and over once he’s found it.

“Yeah, that’s it,” He groans against your neck and you feel tears brimming in your eyes. “Farleigh- It’s-“ You can’t seem to form words, your brain turned to sizzling hot liquid. “I know, I know,” He whimpers, his voice slightly higher pitched and breathless. You try to hold on longer, but you’re already coming undone as your orgasm hits you sooner than you expected. Your body stills and you clench even harder around him. He moans, that pained expression crossing his face once again. “Oh God,” He chokes out, his thrusts beginning to become less steady.

“Where should I-“ Farleigh pants. “Inside,” You tell him. You’re on birth control, but you don’t have the mental capacity to explain that to him or explain why. His hips stutter and he stiffens, finishing inside of you, the warm feeling spreading throughout your lower stomach. He collapses on top of you, his head on your chest, resting on the soft fabric of your shirt.

You’re already sleepy and physically exhausted from what just took place. You breathe in his scent one more time and let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling and trying to process what you just did. Then he’s wrapping his arms around you gently before pulling out of you slowly. You grunt a bit, feeling a dull ache between your legs, but you can’t help but miss the feeling of him inside of you.

He adjusts the both of you so that you’re both laying on your side, allowing you to stretch out a bit and cuddle up to him, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. He holds you, and for a moment, it feels like a real relationship. Something you had never experienced. Something deep. Something real. And then you remember that it’s not. After this, he will go back to avoiding you and acting like he can’t stand you. You just wish that he would put his pride away and admit to you what he really feels. But what does he really feel? Are you stupid for thinking that there’s something here?

Farleigh strokes his fingers through your hair, brushing away some of the strands plastered onto your forehead by your sweat. He seems to notice your silence.

“You’re thinking too much,” He says, his voice beautifully hoarse. You sigh, relaxing your shoulders. “Am I?” You reply, your voice weaker than you thought it would be.

“Just sleep here tonight,” He mutters, resting his chin on top of your head. You so badly want to ask him to be serious and have an actual conversation with you about your… relationship.

“Okay… but we need to talk about this,” You respond quietly. He sighs and shifts a bit, careful not to move you too much. “We can in the morning,” He says, but you know that won’t happen. You’ll just have to settle for no answers to your questions for the time being.

You curl up closer to him and let your eyes close, breathing slowly and peacefully. “Goodnight,” You murmur. “Night,” He replies, sounding just as tired as you are. You drift off to sleep in Farleigh Start’s arms.

ONE YEAR EARLIER

You were usually on okay terms with Farleigh. But you remember exactly when the dislike turned into hatred.

It was right before end of term exams and Felix convinced you to go to the pub to blow off some steam and relax after all your revising. You reluctantly agreed, then regret your decision when you saw Farleigh and Sasha there.

It was pretty far into the evening and you were beginning to get sleepy. You had spaced out for a moment, staring out the window and watching the snow fall before you heard something that peaked your interest.

“I mean, Felix, you have got to settle down,” Farleigh chuckled and nudged Sasha, pointing his cigarette at Felix.

Felix grinned stupidly and shrugged. “Listen, mate. I’ve tried.” Some other friends of his joined in with the laughter.

You sat up and leaned forward, facing Farleigh. “You’re one to comment on relationships,” You said, raising an eyebrow. Everyone else sort of quieted down after hearing your words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Farleigh rolled his eyes at you and Sasha just glared. “You and Sasha. You’re dysfunctional.” You responded, unafraid to challenge him.

“Excuse me?” Sasha looked at you like you just committed a hate crime. “Yeah. He cheats on you, you cheat on him, you get back together, blah blah blah.” You took a sip of your beer and shrugged. “It’s gone on for almost a year now. It’s exhausting,”

Farleigh chuckled. “Ohh, you want to come after my relationship?” He smirked as if he was cooking up a plan in his mind of how to humiliate you best.

“Well, I bet you would like everyone to know that you lost your virginity to Joshua Brown,” Farleigh said, loud enough for even people from other tables to hear. A small chorus of gasps echoed across the room.

“You’re desperate, easy, and sloppy. You take anyone who wants you. I guess that’s what happens when you get no attention before you go to college, hm?” He just kept going, and the whole room went silent

“I’ve seen you walk out of so many dorms at six in the morning, it’s insane. You can’t even keep a fucking man,” Farleigh’s tone was harsher and colder than you’d ever heard before. Felix was staring at you in shock and Sasha was giving you that judgemental look.

You looked around to see all the pairs of eyes on you. “Fucking hell, Farleigh,” Felix muttered, shaking his head at him.

You stood up and grabbed your bag hastily, storming out of the pub with tears in your eyes. Why was he such a bitch? Why did he hate you?

Your reputation was officially ruined. All that time, he never told anyone about your situation with Joshua. Until now. He was doing so well. The whole class thought you were an innocent and pure, high achieving student, and now what would they think? You wish you didn’t care so much about how others perceive you, but you do.

You hated Farleigh. You hated him for ruining your reputation and your image. It was impossible to get him back or do something worse, since basically everyone knew he was a slut. But he got praised for it.

Ever since that night at the pub, other students would look at you sideways and whisper things about you as if you couldn’t hear them.

Fuck you, Farleigh. You decided you were officially done with him and your weird friendship. Even if that meant having to avoid him at every cost.

taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld @florkt @i-love-ptv

[unangelic-thoughts]

Forgive me...I want you. (Joel Miller x AFAB!Reader)

Summary: After a drunken mistake where you expose yourself to your aunt's boyfriend, you unknowingly start something between you beyond your wildest dreams…

Warnings: NSFW smut 18+, infidelity, age gap, masturbating while being watched, phone sex (sorta?? but more like window sex??)

Word Count: 3k

Author’s note: A specific part in this is loosely inspired by taylor swift's 'you belong with me' scene where they see each other through their bedroom windows…hehe…;)

Reblogs and interactions are most appreciated <333

I walk as quietly as I can up the stairs of the house I currently live in with my parents so as to not wake them at one thirty in the morning. Although I'm in my mid twenties and would love nothing more but to have my own place, rent is ridiculously expensive and I'd rather save up for as long as I can. Thankfully for me, I get along with them both and we respect each other's privacy - so it works.

I shut the door to my bedroom quietly, extending my hand to the wall beside me to switch the light on. I take my cross-body bag off over my head and throw it on my bed with a sigh. Running my hands through my hair, I think back to today's unfortunate events. From deciding to surprise my girlfriend on our six month anniversary, to catching her in bed with my best friend, to going from bar to bar with my sweet Angel of a cousin to try and forget it all; I am completely and utterly emotionally and physically exhausted.

The makeup I put on earlier today is patchy and smudged but I feel too numb to care. Walking into my on-suite bathroom, I stare at myself in the mirror while my arms rest on either side of the sink. Black streaks of mascara cover my cheeks from where I'd been crying. I take a deep breath, grabbing a makeup wipe and take it all off.

Once I'm done with skincare, I walk back into my bedroom and pick out a clean pair of undies and oversized tee from my closet, setting them out at the end of my bed. I begin stripping from my clothes, starting with my top, then my skirt and tights. I stand up straight, my hands reaching behind my back to take my bra off when I lock eyes with Joel and I freeze.

Joel is my next door neighbour. He is also my dad's sister's husband. In my current messy state, I  completely forgot to pull my curtains shut and that Joel's office literally faces my bedroom. In my defence, I wasn't expecting him to be up this late.

The initial state of shock begins to subside but neither of us has attempted to look away first. I'm reminded of the very innocent crush I've had on him since the day my aunt introduced us to him five years ago. Of course, I knew it was futile - considering the whole Joel-is-now-technically-my-uncle thing as well as the age gap thing. I never let myself think about it too seriously except for the times late at night whenever I've struggled to fall asleep. Thoughts of him laying on top of me, kissing down my neck while his hands caress my body intrude my mind more often than I'd like to admit and I feel so guilty, but I can't help it.

It feels like I've been standing there half-naked in front of my window for hours when in reality it's only been a second or two. I spot my dressing gown draped over my swivel chair in the corner of my eye and I quickly grab it to cover myself as best as I can.

When I look back at him, his eyes have fallen to the laptop in front of him and I instantly feel the loss of his intense stare. A pang of disappointment hits me, missing the feel of his eyes on me and the way it ignited a fire in my lower belly.

Desperate to get his attention, I loosen the grip I have on my dressing gown and let it fall in front me, exposing me once more. His dark brown eyes instantly meet mine again and it makes my insides flip.

I swallow down the lump in my throat, deciding to ignore the warning lights and sirens going off in my head that are telling me how terrible of an idea this is. But in this moment, I couldn't care less. I just want to feel wanted.

My hands find their way to my bra for a second time and unclasp it. I hold the cups of my bra against my breasts, a moment of hesitation washing over me but I shake that feeling away as I shake off my bra.

Joel goes very still and it feels good to know I'm having an effect on him, so I continue. My hands drop to my panties, my thumbs hooking on either side as I slowly slide them down my legs and step out of them.

I feel so empowered and in full control of the situation, which is exactly what I need right now. I turn around, grabbing my clean undies and slipping them on followed by my oversized tee. I walk to my window, wishing I could reach out to touch him but instead, I pull the curtains shut knowing I've already gone too far and put an end to whatever this is.

***

I've avoided Joel for two whole weeks since that night; not that it has been hard to do since he's definitely been avoiding me too. He hasn't even spared me a glance when we've passed by each other in our adjacent driveaways, oftentimes me going out and him coming home at the same time.

The anxiety of what I'd done was eating me up the first few days, worried that he'd tell my aunt about it. But the longer it's been, the more confident I feel that he's not planning on telling a soul. God, if anyone found out about my drunken mistake, it would completely destroy our family.

I've thought of countless of ways I could apologize to him but none seem good enough, worried it'll just make things more awkward; if that's even possible. Sometimes it's better to pretend like nothing ever happened and things will eventually fix by themselves with time. Yes...I just have to give it some time and it'll soon be a distant memory...

***

The chime of the doorbell distracts me from my current seated position on the sofa, one hand holding the book I've been reading and the other stroking my cat, Felix. I place the book next to me and cradle Felix in my arms like the little baby that he is and head to the door.

It's my aunt, Tess. "Hi hun, are you enjoying your weekend alone?" She extends an arm to rub Felix under his chin.

"Yeah, it's been nice having the house all to myself. Mum and dad won't be back until late Monday evening so I still have a couple of days of peace." I say, chuckling.

"That's great! Although I'm about to disturb that peace, but not for long. I promise! I just need a small favour." She cautiously smiles at me.

"As long as it doesn't involve screaming kids or maths, I'm happy to help." I respond lightheartedly.

"So, I ordered a couple of new sculptures of Athena and the delivery driver just dropped them off outside our door. He ran off before I could get the chance to ask him to help bring them in." She sighs.

"Oh my God, more Greek sculptures? You're obsessed! Don't you already have like 50? How do they all fit in the house?!" I say half-serious, half-laughing while I shake my head. For the past year, Tess has developed a fascination for Greek mythology and the house has basically turned into a museum of Ancient Greece.

"I know, I know." Tess replies, swinging her hands back and forth to dismiss my accusation. "Anyway, I've hurt my back so I can't lift anything and Joel needs another person to help him. Would you mind lending  him a hand?"

"Yeah, sure." I somehow manage to say nonchalantly even though inside I'm screaming. The last thing I want to do is be near Joel but I can't tell Tess that. "I'll be out in a minute" I say, forcing a smile and nod my head as I step back into the house to slip into something more appropriate. 

Once I've pulled my shit together and reassured myself that this isn't a big deal, I make the short walk over to their place. The door opens before I reach the steps, both Tess and Joel coming out at the same time. She places a quick peck on his lips before making her way to her car. "Just going to do some grocery shopping, I won't be long. And be careful with my sculptures!" She calls out as she shuts the car door after her.

I notice the silence between us immediately, fiddling my hands nervously. "Where do these need to go?" I ask as I point to the sculptures in front of me, desperate to be done with this as quickly as possible.

Joel doesn't hold my gaze however, and it makes me think that what happened is still bothering him. "One in the living room and one in the bedroom."

Once we've figured out how to carry the first one, we manage to place it in the living room with relative ease. The second one however is much trickier, needing to be carried all the way to the upstairs bedroom. I can feel myself building up a sweat but I try my best to keep my breathing steady. Once we reach the room, we set it down in its new spot. Not even a second later and I trip over my own foot, falling towards the direction of the sculpture. Joel is there before I know it, one hand holding Athena and the other steadying me. The feel of his arm around me feels different to any other time we've hugged, I notice.

"That was close." He says, pulling back once I've got both feet on the ground.

"It was. Thank you. Tess would kill me if anything happened to it." I exhale, widening my eyes in horror at the thought of breaking the sculpture.

"And I'd be right there with you too. She can be a scary woman when she wants to be." He jokes, an uneasy smile on his face.

"I'm sorry." I blurt out as I fix my gaze on the sculpture rather than Joel.

"Don't worry about it, nothin' broke so we get to live another day." He shrugs his shoulders as his hands rest on his hips and laughs.

"Not about that...I'm sorry about what happened that night. I was drunk and it was wrong of me." I find myself saying before I can stop myself, the guilt finally getting to me.

The grin on his face immediately drops and I brace myself for what he has to say.

"It was a fucked up thing to do and it's best that we forget about it." He says, his tone razor sharp.

"I know and for that, I sincerely apologize." His words sting even though I know they shouldn't. I mean, he didn't look away either. It can't just be all on me, he could've easily left. He had plenty of opportunity to do so.

"You put me in a really uncomfortable position. What would Tess say if she found out? What would your parents think?" His brows are furrowed together in anger and I regret ever bringing it up.

"I-I wasn't in a good place mentally and I definitely wasn't sober but I don't think it's fair to put all the blame on me." I defend, shaking my head.

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "And who should share the blame? Me?"

It's my turn to furrow my brows, not liking where this conversation is going. "Well, yeah. You clearly didn't dislike what you saw. You could've left at any time."

"I think you should leave." He responds firmly, crossing his arms.

"You don't have to tell me twice." I scowl. Turning on my heal, I strut out of the room and slam the door shut behind me. Regret fills my chest, not for my drunken striptease, but for my stupid attempt at apologising to that asshole.

*** He tries to apologise to me twice this week but I blank him both times. He tells me that Tess noticed something has been off with us and confronted him about it. He told her it's because he yelled at me when I almost broke one of her statues and now I'm mad at him. That's the only reason he wants to apologise, so that everything seems normal in front of everyone else; not because he's genuinely sorry. So no, I'm not ready to forgive him that easily.

***

I'm having one of those late night closet clear outs, deciding whether my denim midi skirt is staying in the keep pile or the donation pile when my phone rings.

My breath hitches as the name of last person I thought would be calling me right now pops up on the screen. At first I think it might be a mistake, but as it rings for the fourth time, I have to decide whether to answer or ignore it.

He's never called me this late before and the curiosity takes over, so I swipe the green button on the screen and put the phone to my ear.

"Joel?" I ask hesitantly, even though I know it's him calling.

"Can we talk?" His voice low on the other end of the line.

"I'm busy right now." I reply, finally tossing the skirt I've been holding to the keep pile.

"No, you're not. I can literally see you in your bedroom." With that, I turn around and look up. Lo and behold, Joel is standing in front of his office's french doors and he's looking right at me.

"What do you want?" I ask, my heartbeat increasing tenfold.

I watch as his hand trails up his shirt, his fingers starting to unbutton it from the top.

"Tell me to stop at anytime, and I will." He whispers as I stand there completely dumbfounded.

Once his shirt is unbuttoned, he shrugs it off his shoulders, letting it fall on the floor behind him. It exposes his soft chest and belly, and I can't take my eyes off of him.

His hands move on to his belt, swiftly removing it from his jeans and popping open the button. He stops just before he pulls his zipper down and I feel a pang of disappointment until I hear his voice once more.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks simply, as if he hasn't just asked me such an incongruous question.

I shake my head from side to side ever so slightly, it's barely noticeable.

"I need you to use your words darlin'" He's looking at me intently and it makes me feel lightheaded.

I don't want to say it out loud but if I-

"Don't. Don't stop." I surprise myself at how sure I sound, not realising how badly I've wanted this since I exposed myself to him until this very moment.

I notice his chest contract as he exhales in relief; Like he was hoping I'd want this just as much as he does.

He continues then, removing his jeans completely and takes a seat on the chair behind him while still facing me.

"Your turn." It takes me a minute to process what he's saying. He wants to see me naked. Again. Part of me questions whether this is a prank but the part of me that has secretely wanted to do this since forever decides to push the doubts aside.

I hesitate only for a second before I remember that I've done this before and he's already seen my exposed body, and then I strip down to my underwear - just like he has.

His hand reaches inside his boxers and he begins to stroke himself. My panties are soaked within seconds. His breathing becomes shallow as he increases the speed of his hand on his member. My hand is on my breast, squeezing it hard as my thumb and index finger stroke my nipple.

"Touch yourself." He orders and I immediately oblige, my hand gliding from my breast to my soft tummy and finally underneath my panties. I hiss as my fingers touch my bundle of nerves, making circular motions. I'm already so wet at the sight in front of me that it doesn't take long for me to slide my fingers through my contracting walls. I pump my fingers with the same rhythm that he strokes his cock as I close my eyes to imagine that it's him inside of me. It feels so good and yet it's not enough, but I know that this is going to be as good as it's ever going to get. This won't ever happen again. I shake those thoughts away and decide to savour the present moment.

Opening up my eyes again, my gaze is back on Joel. His mouth is parted lightly and his eyes are half shut as his head rests on the back of his chair. His movements under his boxers become more frantic and I know he's close. It drives me to go faster and I yelp as I unexpectedly hit a sweet spot, "Fuck!"

"Keep going baby." He urges me on as he grunts in pleasure. My eyes shut tightly and I bite my lower lip, fastening my pace which causes squelching sounds from my dripping pussy.

"Atta girl." He praises, seemingly satisfied by the sounds travelling through the phone.

I whimper in pleasure as I feel the orgasm build inside of me. I stare back at Joel who lets out a "Fuck" at the same moment that I do. We both come apart together, moaning and whimpering in unison; creating a sweet melody of pleasure.

I never, in a million years, thought that I would ever get the chance to see and hear him coming undone but it's the most mesmerizing thing I've ever witnessed. 

"Am I forgiven?" He asks once his breathing has returned to normal.

"I think you already know the answer to that." I say, as a smile creeps up on my damp face.

--------

Thank you for reading! I'd love it if you let me know your throughts <3 (Uuumm personally, I would jump straight through that goddamn window and onto his lap...fuckkkk)

Lots of love, Elki xoxo

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 7 (Part 2 of 2)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); smutty smutty smut; oral sex m!receiving; unprotected p in v sex; mentions of toxic past relationships (cheating, lying, etc.) (lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter Word Count: 15k+

Covet Masterlist

a/n: alas, the second part of chapter 7!

as per usual, life has been busy and stressful. but, recently, i've had a couple of terribly sad things take place on top of it all. so, all of that piled up has stalled me. threw me way off balance for a bit.

my anxiety has also been ✨trippin'✨ recently, so i'm just drowning atp.

as always, ty to my sis @joshym for being a fucking amazing sister, talking through ideas w me, and proofreading for me <3 ilysfm

and ty to my wonderful friend @alwaysonthemend for being amazing and supportive + ever-encouraging. u r wonderful & ilysfm &lt;3

i hope u guys (gn) enjoy the rest of chapter 7!

-🌼🌼🌼-

Waking up the next morning was not as wonderful as it’d been the morning prior. 

You loved your sister with nearly everything in you, but being tied up in her legs was absolutely nothing compared to being curled up in Jake’s. 

Your body ached to feel his body against yours in the morning again. . .formed to yours, your legs tangled up in each other, your cheek resting on his warm, firm chest. 

Shit. You needed to feel him.

You were just about to get up to see if he was still in his room when Elsie made a telltale noise that she was awake. And when she cracked an eye open to look at you, she looked completely groggy and out of it. 

But definitely awake. Before you knew it, she was up and aware and checking her phone through blurry eyes. 

She yawned once more as she scrolled, but you knew this was only a sign that she was truly awake. A final yawn before starting her day. It was a weird thing you’d noticed with her years ago.

So, you knew that she would waste no time in wanting to start her day as soon as—

“Get dressed and let’s go get coffee,” she said, already walking to your bedroom to get her clothes on to start the day.

And within twenty minutes, you were both flitting about the apartment (bickering already), with the Jetta keys in Elsie’s hand, ready to go. 

As you loaded up in your car to start the day, you couldn’t help but notice the impending throbbing Jake had left between your legs from the night before. 

A sick reminder of the person you hadn’t had the chance to see again this morning. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You spent the day with Elsie, doing a variety of activities that you two used to do all the time. 

You got the coffee she’d wanted as soon as she’d awoken, then got your nails done, went shopping for unnecessary things, got sushi. . .

It was a fun day. 

But it dragged. On and on. 

Seeing Jake at the gig tonight was undoubtedly the thing you were looking forward to most all day long.

The dull pain between your legs from where Jake had been the night before had you getting even more excited. 

But it also served as a reminder to make your rules. 

He’d followed the other rules you’d made well enough (enough being the key term) before. It seemed a legitimate idea to pitch some again for whatever the fuck you two had now gotten yourselves into twice (and more than that if you counted the other things the two of you had done).

You just hoped he’d respond well to these. They were to benefit both of you. Keep the sex just sex.

Protection.

You were sure they’d be easy for you to follow, so you were crossing your fingers they would be for him, too. You weren’t going to ask a lot of him.

By the time Elsie was done buying whatever she definitely didn’t need from H&M, you already had a solid ten rules made up.

Ten seemed good. Even number. Good start.

And you’d made one rule for yourself personally: No funny business until the rules had been discussed. 

You needed the rules in place to feel like you had some semblance of control over it all.

He’d just have to be okay with that.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The show hadn’t even ended, their little encore about to start, when you got a text from Jake, making your tummy flip at his name popping up on your screen. 

Jake, 10:30 p.m.: Josh says to meet us at that bowling alley we played a couple weeks back

Jake, 10:30 p.m.: oh fuck I forgot

Jake, 10:30 p.m.: that was when you weren’t coming to our shows for god knows what reason. It’s called brooklyn bowl

Jake, 10:31 p.m.: we will be there as soon as this set is done. Head that way and we will meet you

The string of texts kind of shocked you, if you were being completely honest. The fact that Jake had apparently been willing to text you about the plans made your stomach dip. 

And even though his little remark about you not going to their shows made your skin heat with irritation, you still felt butterflies as you quickly texted back. 

You, 10:33 p.m.: Okay. We will see you guys there. 

You nudged Elsie, showing her the texts. 

Her lips had a smart little smirk as soon as she saw who it was texting you, her eyes flashing to you to see your expression. 

You only rolled your eyes and said, “It’s not that he’s texting me, stupid. We need to leave.”

So she finished reading the texts, and nodded her head when she’d finished. 

“That’ll be fun,” she grinned bigger, winking. She nodded once again, signaling for you to move out so she could follow you out from the booth you’d been sitting in to watch the guys perform. “Let’s go.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

You waited a good while for a lane to open up, the alley being oddly busy on a Monday night. 

As you’d waited in line, Elsie had made a comment about Jake acting a little funny about you not being at their shows for a bit. 

You’d pushed her off, claiming he was just being an asshole. 

And your heart hadn’t beaten any faster when he’d sent a simple response as you waited in the line to get a lane. 

Jake, 11:05 p.m.: :) 

Jake, 11:07 p.m.: we will be there soon

You didn’t respond, not wanting to seem eager for a response or some shit. He’d know that you got his message by your ‘read’ receipt.

Eventually, you and your sister had a lane assigned to your party, and you located it. The two of you took the time to set up your names in the machine before the guys would arrive and presumably took over. You had a funny feeling they’d be pre-excited to start the game and compete. 

And you knew well enough to stay out of their way when they got excited over bowling. 

You assumed Jake would be the same. But you didn’t know as this would be your first time going out with him to bowl.

Well, going out with the guys and Jake. Not just him. 

It wasn’t like you guys were dating or some weird shit. 

Fuck no.

You weren’t. At all.

And just as that thought’d come to your mind, you figured tonight would be a really good time to talk over the rules you’d spent the day crafting.

Before he started assuming shit.

He probably didn’t. You knew better than to get too big of a head over Jake considering the thing you guys had done any more than just fucking.

You ignored the tiny sinking in your tummy over that thought. It didn’t matter. It was just fucking. 

So. Yeah. Rules would be good to have. Good reminders. You’d find a quiet time tonight to tell him about them.

They would let you have the control you needed, and keep you both in line with the situationship staying strictly sex.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were correct in assuming the boys would come in and take over the machine; fingers flew over the touchscreen panel and ridiculous pictures were taken to accompany their player names.

Elsie only sat back and watched Josh in nothing short of amazement, laughing at every single thing he’d say or do. And he’d look back at her and send secret smiles, shooting winks and long glances when he wasn’t looking at the machine.

They were fucking adorable. 

But they could have the relationship. 

You weren’t interested in something like that. 

Though, you couldn’t help the way you watched Jake’s ass as he bent over the chair to put his name in, along with his own picture. His eyes crossed and tongue sticking out. 

You really couldn’t help the smirk and tiny giggle that bubbled out of you when he’d set it up. 

Also, his ass was looking fucking round and delicious in his jeans. 

Fuck. 

When he’d taken the initiative to get the guys’ shoes for them at the counter, you took the opportunity to do the same for your sister and you. 

This could be your chance to talk to him about rules.

Following behind him a few healthy steps, you saw him bent at the waist, arms crossed on the shoe counter as he talked to the girl working it. What was he doing? He was only up there to get fucking shoes.

Despite being annoyed, you did openly take the opportunity to admire his ass while you could. It was too tempting not to. Firm as hell, and poking out yet again from this position he was leaning into. 

You didn’t waste time, though, as you met him at the counter. There was shit to do and he was already taking too long.

You sidled up next to him, without another thought, as the girl across the counter continued to flirt openly with him.  

You rolled your eyes at her, glancing at him as he did the same back. He had a shit eating grin on his face the whole time, as if he knew she was lapping up every bit of it all. 

Stupid. You guys needed to get your shoes and get back to start the game. None of you had time for the little game he and this girl were playing. 

And she needed to focus on her job. 

“I need some shoes, too, if you don’t mind,” you butted in, pressing your arm into Jake’s. She looked annoyed, but you didn’t care. You were too. Looking down at your roommate, you narrowed your eyes at him. He was already looking at you, a raised brow and a smirk on his lips. Your panties got the slightest bit wet. Dumb. “Did you at least give her your fucking sizes?”

He rolled his eyes, but quickly changed his face to a knowing sort of thing that made you want to punch him and kiss him all at once. He uncrossed his arms from the counter, standing up to look down at you. 

“Yes,” he said, voice dripping with irritation, and a mix of something else you couldn’t put your finger to. “Would you like to give her yours, ma’am?” 

“Shut the fuck up, Jake,” you gritted in response. You looked back at her, as she continued to size Jake up. “Excuse me, I still need shoes. A woman’s size 6 and a size 8.”

And just as she begrudgingly left to get them all, you made eye contact with him again. He was already looking at you.

The apples of his cheeks were round with a big smile, pearly white teeth gleaming in the neon lighting of the place as he chuckled lowly. 

“What, Cheshire fucking Cat?” 

“You’re silly,” he said cutely. “And you’ve got a filthy fuckin’ mouth on you tonight, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart.

Your heart leapt at him calling you that. You really liked how it sounded when he called you pet names— like sweetheart and baby. . . It sounded so, so nice falling from his pretty lips. 

Blinking back at him, you refocused. “I’m silly? What the fuck does that mean?”

“You just are. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s cute. You’re cute,” he leaned his butt against the front of the counter, and he reached out to toy with the halter top you’d worn tonight. “And you look fucking sexy tonight. Why didn’t you stand closer to the stage for me to see you while I played?”

You flushed, and felt the slightest bit sad when he let his hand fall from your shirt to tuck back into his front pocket. 

“Wanted to show Elsie another vantage point of the show,” you replied, not wanting to tell him that you weren’t sure you could’ve handled being that close to him, watching him ruthlessly fuck his guitar. It would’ve made you fall victim to him before you were able to discuss your rules with him. “But that doesn’t matter. We need to talk about something.”

He let out a breath and then responded, “Well I know what this is going to be about,” he started, his eyes locking with yours. You lifted a brow, encouraging him to continue. “You don’t think us having sex is the best idea, hm? Can’t let yourself have too much of a good thing.”

Scoffing, you crossed your arms. 

You uncrossed them. 

Then, with a huff, you crossed them again. 

You were starting to realize when you did this, it made you feel guarded, emotions not on full display. Jake brought out so many different emotions in you— made you feel exposed. Crossing your arms to hide what pieces of yourself you could cover was all you could do. You just weren’t sure if it was healthy to constantly be on guard like you so often were. 

But it was just what you did. Especially with him.

“You think it’s that good?” You sassed, trying to disguise how wonderful you knew it to be, your pussy still in the slightest bit of pain from just how good he’d given it to you not even twenty-four hours ago. 

His eyes bore into yours, challenging you. “Oh, you’re saying it wasn’t?” He turned towards you. “Is that why I had to cover your mouth to keep you from getting all loud? You didn’t seem to think it was so bad when—.”

“Here are your shoes!” The girl was back, sliding all six pairs Jake’s way. You scooted yours and Elsie’s over to you, eying the girl and judging how she was holding eyes with Jake.

“These were mine,” you reminded as you held onto the backs of the shoes, clicking them against the counter.

As you went to hold them in your arms, you waited for her to look up at you. And when she threw you a disgusted glance, you didn’t let her look away, pinning her there. And as if on cue, customers were showing up behind you and Jake. 

“Better get to work,” you remarked at her, throwing a thumb back to point at the next people in line. You then tapped the other boys’ shoes to remind Jake to get them. He grabbed them just in time for you to take him by his sleeve. He chuckled under his breath as he let you drag the two of you over a few feet. 

Why was he laughing? 

You released him as soon as you were far enough away from the girl that she’d leave you alone. 

“You like her?” You questioned hotly (for literally no reason at all, really just genuine curiosity). “She definitely likes you.” 

“I don’t know,” he smirked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.”

“You’re the one who asked.”

“I just think it’s a good idea for you to be careful where you’re sticking your dick,” you chided, assuming to yourself that was the reason you asked in the first place. There was no other reason to care. “I’ll make you fucking wrap that shit.”

“I always do,” he challenged, stepping towards you a bit. It made your heart thump in your chest. 

“No you don’t,” you challenged back, crinkling a brow with a shake of your head. “You’ve never—.”

“Not with you I don't. Other girls, always. It’s fucking nasty not to,” he reasoned. His voice went impossibly lower, deeper with his next words. “I’ve never given a flying fuck about truly feeling the shape of a girl’s pussy until yours. I wasn’t going to miss out on that.”

Your cheeks heated, becoming red at his words. You could not be that special.

“That’s a fucking lie,” you hushed back, leveling with him. You pushed your chest out to fake a sort of sanity you were beginning to lack. “What about your ex-girlfrie—?”

“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’, his hand coming up to gently hold your bicep. His calloused thumb smoothed over your skin, drawing mindless shapes. You shivered. “Always used protection with her, too.”

You blinked. You were at a loss for words. 

His eyes scanned your body. The outfit of black skinny jeans that showcased your ass and your striped halter top that gave you incredible cleavage. He watched the curves of your breasts as your chest heaved at him watching you.

Your eyes floated to his lips, full and pink and kissable. Fuck. You just wanted to kiss him so bad.

It seemed he wanted it, too.

His were getting nearer and nearer to yours.

And you were leaning into it. . . So close to what you were learning was a constant craving.

“Y/n!” Elsie’s voice from across the way brought you out of your momentary daze. 

You shoved Jake back. 

Dammit, you hated being cut off from him like that. 

But you were currently way too close for outside onlookers. 

Your eyes were as wide as a deer in headlights as you scanned the alley for her. You’d lost your party entirely, your mind being wrapped up in only Jake for the past fifteen minutes. 

She whistled to gain your attention. And when you finally saw her, she was still on the bench from earlier, Josh right next to her. Their thighs were touching and his arm was over the back of her chair, facing away from you. 

Thank fuck. He hadn’t seen. 

But you had the sneakiest suspicion Elsie had seen too much. The quirk of her lips said so.

You could deal with her later.

“Shoooooes!” She sang, Josh harmonizing with her momentarily as if to mock. She giggled at him, shoving his shoulder. Now looking at him as she spoke, “I’m ready to kick Josh’s ass and I need my shoes to do it!” 

You looked back over at Jake for a split second, seeing the same disappointment in his eyes that you were feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

But you just couldn’t chance all of them seeing you two like that. 

You were still looking at him when you called back with a, “Coming!”

And as you walked back to your friends, Jake followed closely behind. You could feel him staring at your ass as you swayed it in front of him. With the smallest secret grin on your lips, you pressed the back of your hand to your cheeks to tame your blush.

The throbbing between your legs was begging for him. 

You had to get these stupid (albeit necessary) rules out of the way quick so you could sneak off and let him fuck you. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

“Ah! Another fucking strike!” Sammy punched the air in triumph, elbowing Danny in the side. “Try to beat my fuckin’ score, Daniel! Betcha can’t.” 

The four of you that sat back at the booth to watch applauded Sam’s score, but urged Danny on to “kick his ass, Danny!”

“Don’t let him have the upper hand,” you shouted at Daniel, who sent a wink back at you. 

And as Danny took his first shot, you heard Jake pipe up from across the table. “Who wants something to drink? Or maybe some fuckin’ chicken tenders or something. ‘M starving.”

Everyone yelled back “me!” except for you, who watched him lazily from your side of the booth. You’d been admiring him any chance you’d gotten from your spot all evening. He was sitting next to Josh and you were next to Elsie. Perfect view of him across the booth.

“Jacob, I volunteer you to get the booze and food,” Josh decided, clapping a hand against Jake’s shoulder. “I’ll play in your spot while you’re gone. We’re basically the same person, so it counts.”

Elsie joined in with her own two cents. “And I think you should help him carry it all back, sis, so I don’t let Josh get the upper hand with too much playing.” She added, “Let me play for you, too, and I’ll stay on the same page as him. Keep things fair.”

They laughed with each other like two little obnoxious love birds. And you couldn’t even care about it as you met eyes with your roommate, a glint in his eye at the prospect of you two escaping. 

He got out, and you watched his body unfold, and then as he stretched from sitting. You averted your gaze when you heard the telling sign of a strike, and the sounds of Danny rubbing it in Sammy’s face.

“Sure,” you replied, trying to act irritated that she was making you leave. When you were actually anything but. She looked at Jake, then back at you, throwing you a wiggle of her brows as you got out. Bitch knew what she was doing. 

Jake waited for you, and you quickly joined him in walking to the bar. 

“You know how amazing your ass looks in those jeans,” he said to you in a low tone as you walked that way. “Do you always wear the sexiest shit on purpose?” 

Heart racing, you looked up at him with a tiny grin. “Maybe.”

When you approached the bar, he put in a few orders of chicken and fries and several beers. 

“Yeah, man, but it might take a bit,” the guy responded, looking over at you, giving you a decent once over. He was blatantly checking you out. You pretended you didn’t notice as you let your eyes travel back to Jake, whose eyebrows were turned in at the guy looking at you. “Probably like five to ten minutes. That okay?”

“If you can keep your eyes off of her while you do it, sure,” he said back, taking a step over, closer to you. The guy looked shocked to be called out, stuttering a bit. He nodded his head a few times at Jake in response. 

“Yeah man, sorry,” he said, voice wavering. “Just don’t always see girls so pretty,” he sent a small, worried smile your way. “Sorry, miss.”

You tossed a hand his way, showing it was no biggie.

You could tell he was harmless. But you didn’t care about him. 

Jake’s palms splayed out on the counter, and him standing tall to say what he did was all you cared about in that moment. His shoulders, broad, and dark brown eyes daring the guy to look at you again.

Sexy as hell.

Why did you like him standing up for you so damn much? 

The guy scurried away, yelling out orders in the kitchen and then tending to the next customers. 

You turned to Jake just as he did the same. All you wanted was to reach out and feel him, but you didn’t. Couldn’t. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” you remarked, correcting him for no reason whatsoever. You liked it. Why were you saying anything? “I don’t need you doing that.”

Y/n, shut up, you heard the sweet voice in your head chide you. Just let him be there for you. 

“Didn’t say you did,” he snipped back, his eyebrows turning in at you now. “Just didn’t like him looking at you like that.”

Your heart beat rampantly as you held his line of sight. 

“Fine,” was all you could say in response. “But I still need to talk to you about what I had to earlier.”

“Did I not hit the nail on the head with what I said?” He questioned. “Too much of a—?”

“No, you didn’t,” you cut him off. He reared back a bit with a little ‘hm’. “Just let me speak. You can offer your opinion in a minute.”

You pulled your phone from your back pocket, opening up the notes with the rules, anxious to get your piece said.

“Rules,” you held up the device, flashing it at him before turning it back to yourself to read. 

But before you could start, he interrupted. “Rules? We already went over our rules for the apar—.”

“Not the apartment,” you corrected. 

He looked curious, his eyebrow raising in question. “Then what?”

“Sex.”

“Ha!” He let out the one cackle with a shake of his head. “Rules for sex?”

When he said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous. You couldn’t blame him for laughing when you heard the prospect from your own mouth. 

But you had valid reasons for it.

“Yes. As weird as it sounds, they will help us,” you said, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “Are you ready?”

“Do I get a say?” 

“You will once you’ve heard them all.”

He groaned, and you saw him throw a hand over his eyes. “Fuck, y/n.” 

Was he that disappointed? 

Did it matter if he was? This was important to you.

You watched his pecs and chest rise and fall through his partially opened shirt, tempting you. The quicker you got these read, the quicker you could take him to a hidden area and—.

“Well?” His voice made your eyes snap to his face. He’d smoothed his hand down his face, holding his chin as he looked as ready as he could to tolerate whatever the hell was coming from you. “I’m waiting.”

You sighed. “If you’re going to be a giant baby about them, then—.”

“I won’t,” he sighed as well, looking more and more open to hearing you out by the second. 

Okay, maybe he really would be okay with this, you thought hopefully. 

“Number one:—.”

“Just like old times,” he interrupted. You cut your eyes to him, narrowing them in his direction. “Feels like yesterday when we were standing in the living roo—.”

“Jake, shut the fuck up and let me finish,” you grumbled. “Or I’ll cut you off from me.”

Empty threat. You were not ready to do that anytime soon. 

He waved a hand in your direction, gesturing for you to continue. 

You growled under your breath, but stood straighter, not wanting him to see you flustered. “Number one: we will not make this a relationship. It is—and will stay— just sex.”

“Are you choosing that for both of us?”

“Yes.”

“Not totally fair,” he inserted. “I’m not sure how I feel about you being the one to make that decision.”

“And I’m not sure how I feel about you giving me such a hard time about it,” you bit back. Your defenses were flaring. Who gave him the right? “It’s my decision whether I want a relationship or not. I don’t want one. If you want one, find someone else. Because it’s not going to be with me.”

There were too many reasons it shouldn’t be a relationship. But you weren’t about to get into that. 

His posture had drooped the slightest bit, and his eyebrows, furrowed with a sort of hurt. But before you could consider it any further, he was crossing his arms and his features were hardening.

“Fine,” he stated. Your heart fell in your chest at the word. He continued, “I won’t make a big deal of it. I’ll take what I can get.”

Your mind was in a frenzy. Jake was the worst (or, perhaps, best) at causing you to ride emotional rollercoasters. You couldn’t keep up with him. 

And why was he fine with compromising so quickly? Whatever the reason, you weren’t going to question it.

“Okay,” was all you said. You waited a few beats, your eyes piercing the other’s. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you continued, “I think it will be good for it to be only about sex. Just trust me,” you softly encouraged, reaching out to pat his chest in reassurance. But you went to remove it quickly, remembering you shouldn’t show that sort of behavior in public. 

Instead, he held it there for a few more seconds, letting you feel his heart beating, steadily under your open palm. 

The moment was over before it started, though, and you thought it best anyway. There was a time and a place for that.

So, within record time, you told him the rest of the rules you’d made up (and he had a response for each one): 

2) Nobody will find out. (“We’ve gone over that.”)

3) No questions or comments about dates the other one may have. It’s not our business. (“Oookay?”)

4) No excessive touching outside the bedroom. (“Alright.”)

5) Try to avoid sleeping together after. Especially avoid: cuddling. Too couple-y. (“Like you said: it’s just fucking. Why would I dare try cuddling you?”)

6) No pet names outside of the bedroom. (“Can do.”)

You stopped before the last few, looking up from your phone to make sure he was actually still engaged and taking you seriously.

To your pleasant surprise, he really seemed to be. He had a pensive look on his face, hand holding his chin in thought. 

Soon, he looked back at you and replied. “Really doesn’t seem too hard,” he paused, raising his brow. “‘S that it?”

Shaking your head, you held up three fingers. You told him, “There’s three more.”

He breathed deeply in response, blowing the breath out slowly. He raised both brows, shook his head in mild agreeance (or maybe disbelief?), but once again motioned a hand at you to continue. 

“Number seven: only sex on the days we’re both off work,” you recited from your screen. This one sounded kind of insane to your own ears when you said it out loud. 

Jake confirmed this with a scoff. Your head perked up sheepishly at the sound, knowing that one was a little strange. Why had you decided that?

“Veto,” he said in annoyance. “Why is that even a rule? What purpose?” He continued, “I’ll be honest, if I look hard enough, I can find the tiniest purpose in every other rule. . . except that one.”

You nodded your head, acknowledging he was right. 

“Do I still have a say? Because I really am not sure I can follow that one.”

“Yes,” you conceded sheepishly. Then, something overtook you and you honestly confided in him. “I think that one was just me grasping for control. I struggle with it on occasion.”

He chuckled quietly to himself, almost fondly. You blushed, waiting for him to respond. 

“Just a little bit. But I’ll roll with it,” he replied, his soft gaze finding yours. You felt your tummy do flips. This. . . felt good. Being a little more open with him, and him accepting it. It felt nice—relieving, almost. “Go on. Last two.”

You cleared your throat, pulling your stare from him to look at your screen. “New number seven: No emotional dependency,” you iterated. With his crinkled brow, you clarified. “We aren’t responsible for dealing with each others’ emotions. That’s for relationships.” 

That one made you sad for some reason. It was almost as though you longed for that with him. . . But it didn’t matter. That one was particularly important to help with boundaries. 

“Alright,” he agreed, the sureness in his tone faltering a bit. Why? Did it matter to him too somehow? Ignore. Whatever. Move on.

“Number eight: no jealous behavior,” you added, scrolling onto the next one when you heard him pipe up. 

“Does that include the girl at the counter tonight?” 

You felt caught. But why? It hadn’t been jealousy. You’d just been annoyed. “That was just me being plain irritated with her lack of professionalism,” you clarified plainly. Your tone said to drop it. 

“Okay,” he smirked, sniffling with a laugh. “Got it. You’re just an extreme professional. Alright.”

You rolled your eyes. “I am. And it was just annoying for her to be like that.”

“Why?” He poked. 

You scoffed with a small huff. Motioning to the counter for emphasis, “She wasn’t doing her job.”

He continued laughing under his breath. 

“Do you want me to continue or not?”

“Yes,” he relented with a tip of his head. “Last one?” 

“Last one,” you confirmed. “Number nine: if one of us wants to end whatever the fuck this is, the other one has to be okay with it. No questions,” You expanded, “There is nothing tying us to each other, so there is no need to fight it if one of us decides to move on.”

He seemed to sit on that one for a bit, his stare boring into the floor. His thumb and index, stroking his chin, as if in deep thought.

“Order up!” The guy from before was back, sliding two trays your way. One piled with several opened beer bottles and the other, filled with steaming food in red baskets. 

Jake suddenly came to, shaking his head and finally looking up. He took the one with the alcohol. 

“This one is heavier,” he glanced over at you. He used his elbow to point at the other. “You grab that one.”

He went to move, but you put a hand on his arm to stop him from going anywhere. 

Looking down in your direction, his eyes were dark with a secret emotion. 

You really wished you could read him better. Every time you thought you could, he would throw you another curve ball of confusion.

“You had a response for everything else,” you pinned him there. “What’s your opinion on the last one?” You used your eyes to show him you were desperate for him to say something. “I want to know what you think.”

He stared at you for several moments, his eyes studying yours. You could have been completely naked and felt less vulnerable than you did at this moment.

Finally, his lips made a tight smile and he responded. “Like I said before: I’ll take what I can get,” he looked down at the beer, finally lifting it off the counter. You followed his lead with your tray, glad to get a response. But you stopped as he did, turned from the counter. He held you in place with his amber-brown eyes. “I just hope whatever the fuck this is doesn’t end anytime soon.”

All you could do was nod, feeling completely conflicted in every way at that moment. 

You had to repeat to yourself that the rules were for a reason. You had to have them to stay in line. Keep things strictly what they were. A relationship was a bad idea. What you had was all you needed. 

Right?

You felt completely torn. Because, all you wanted to say in response was, 

“I never want it to end.”

But you didn’t. You weren’t about to completely contradict yourself with that. You only nodded once more, and started walking, leading the two of you back to the group. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You never ended up finding any more time to be alone at the bowling alley. 

It was terrible, having to watch him from a distance all night. . . Wanting him more than anything. You felt fully ready to dive head first into this with him. You’d had an actual discussion about it. It felt more real now. 

Whatever the fuck you were to each other. . . It had been firmly placed today with your talk. With the rules.  

Now all you had to do was tie a nice bow on it. 

Consummate the fuckin’ rules.

So, when Elsie told you she had to go see your grandparents before she met you back at the apartment, you let her go. 

Josh had offered to drive her, leaving your car available for you and Jake.

And as you walked to the car, you had a gut feeling you wouldn’t be making it back to the apartment anytime soon.

-🌼🌼🌼-

And about fifteen minutes later confirmed that. Pulled over in an area covered by trees, just off the highway, nearing the apartment. 

But neither of you could have waited if you tried. 

He had you on his lap, your halter top undone, tits out and bouncing as he pounded up into you.

Your pants were down just far enough for you to ride his cock, where he sat in the passenger seat. 

The car had been left on, as you didn’t want it to get so steamy that you’d possibly draw attention. 

And the cool air was causing your skin to prickle, your nipples hard from the chilliness of the A/C. 

You almost brought your shirt back up to cover them when Jake stopped you momentarily, bucking his hips up into you for emphasis. You yelped at the feeling of him pressing at your spot. . . just right. 

“Fuck, Jake,” you moaned, you tried lifting your top back up when he reached a hand up to cover yours, pulling the material back down. 

“No,” he panted, his eyes connecting with yours. 

You wrinkled your brows. “Yes. I’m cold,” you corrected, the last word containing a weird lilt as the head of his dick met your cervix again. “Shit!”

“I’ll keep you warm, then.”

And within seconds, he had his mouth on one hardened peak and the other breast was being massaged by his strong, calloused hand. 

You threw your head back in pleasure, sighing loudly with a whimper that quickly changed into a deep moan. Nipple stimulation—and just boob-play in general. . . It was your kryptonite. Fuck. 

He released his mouth from your breast, giving the taut skin one more swirl from his tongue. But he paused above the other breast, a smirk on his features as he met your hooded gaze. “You like it when I play with your tits?”

You were too dazed by your lust to be annoyed with his slightly cocky attitude. “Yes. It’s my fucking krypto,” you sighed, pulling your hips up, and then sinking back down onto him slowly. He groaned as you did it a few more times. Now it was your turn to smirk. “Do you like it when I do this?” You rolled your hips down, molding your wetness to his thick shaft once more with the word. 

He inhaled deeply, biting his lip. He grasped your hips to make you do it again. “Fuck yeah I do.”

Except with his action, he brought you down harder and your toes curled at the delicious friction against your hidden spot. He held your hip as you kept your body moving on him, but he switched one hand to massage your throbbing clit. 

You sucked in a breath. “Oh,” you whined. “Yeah, that’s it. Fuck,” you sighed, pushing into his finger, desperate to feel every harsh line of the callous in the thumb that toyed with you. You wrapped an arm around his neck for leverage, tangling a hand in his hair, and leaned further into the motion. 

Then, his right hand, that’d been holding your hip, left you to pull the seat lever, reclining the seat all the way back. You gasped as the chair’s movement made your thighs fall open more, gaining him even further access. The head of his dick took its rightful place at the furthest edge of your pussy. 

The sudden change had your eyes rolling back into your head. 

“I needed to feel you like I wanted,” he grunted, both hands finding your hips again. He squeezed the flesh at your hips before gently running his hands, as if admiring your curves, up to your waist. Then, further they went, up to your rib cage. You looked down at his face as you rolled your hips down onto him, causing both of you to shiver with a moan. “Fuck, y/n.”

He wasn’t looking at your face, he was watching in the darkness of the car, as your bodies moved together. You were in perfect rhythm, his hips meeting your tempo with every thrust you’d offer. 

But you wanted him to look at you. You were desperate for his gaze. 

“Jake,” you panted, driving your center against him. “Look at me.”

Jake did as he was told, instantly finding your eyes. He reached a hand up to hold your face, his gaze gentle. You loved his fucking eyes. Even in the natural blue of night that fell over you, you were still able to fall so easily into them. They were so deep, so true. . . never hiding any emotion from you. You wanted to use them as a window to explore him. 

Before you could explore your thoughts any further, his pointer and middle fingers were entering his mouth. You watched, entranced, as he sucked on them long enough to get them wet and ready. And when the fingers found your sensitive clit, you couldn’t contain the whine that escaped your lips. 

“Shit—fuck,” you gasped, mouth falling open as he played you like an instrument. He nudged at the hardened bud like he was making a beautiful melody, and you watched as his eyebrows drew in with the same concentration he gave a guitar solo. Your hips jerked against him of their own volition, needy for more. But you were nearing your end. You could feel it curling in your belly as he paid attention to the side of your pulsing clit. Then it was approaching faster—your movements were erratic, your body craving every piece of his it could get. “Jake—.”

“I know, baby,” he soothed, his own pelvis bucking furiously. “I’m close—you just feel so damn good. Shit.”

And before you knew it, the vibrations were reverberating through you after one particular shift from him. Your body shivered, every nerve in your body, absolutely electric. You felt your walls fluttering furiously around him, but as soon as you registered it happening, he was pulling out of you and finishing against your exposed stomach. 

“Dammit,” he hissed. Your eyes darted down to his dick as he removed it from you hastily, making sure to point it away from your center and directly at your tummy. 

You watched the release drip down your stomach, and into your belly button. But before you could watch much more of it, he was stretching his shirt to help clean your skin. 

Seconds later, both of you were still breathing heavily, bodies coming down from the high. He was looking at the mess of your stomach and you were watching him. His hair was sticking to his forehead, and you couldn’t help it when you went to push some of it away and behind his ear. 

His dark brown eyes found yours, a small, sweet grin fitting to his full lips. And, in that moment, you realized you felt genuinely happy for the first time in a very long time. 

After a few more of the shuddering breaths, 

your heart leaping in your chest at the twinkle in his eyes, you jumped at the telling sound of your sister’s ringtone. 

You quickly pulled your pants back up, and re-situated yourself until you were fully put back together. Jake did the same below you, both moving your bodies to accommodate for the other. 

Once your pants were done, you reached a hand to fully grasp the ties for the halter top to tie it back together. But just before you could re-tie it around your neck, he moved your hair to the side of your throat so you’d have easier access. 

Hurriedly, you finished the job, and as you did so, Jake grabbed your phone for you from the dashboard. Your heart started beating frantically in your chest at the thought of him answering Elsie’s call and her possibly being with Josh and exposing the two of you. 

Or the good chance that Elsie would slip up and say something sly to Jake. 

“Don’t fucking answer it!” You snapped at him. 

His lips turned down, his eyes losing the sparkle, and filling with fire instead. “I wasn’t going to,” he bit back. “Just being fucking kind.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, and grabbed it from him. 

Crawling over the console back into the driver’s seat, you answered your sister. You tried your best to mask being out of breath from the hustle as you buckled your belt. 

“‘Sup, Els?” You swallowed down a fast breath. 

“Fuck, y/n. I got back to the apartment and neither of you were here,” she replied, her voice wracked with nerves. “I tried texting you and you didn’t answer. I was worried about you.” 

You blanched at that, your skin flushing. “I didn’t get a text,” you said back, your voice lilting at the end, in question. You would’ve heard it. . .had you been that lost in the moment? That you hadn’t even heard your phone chime?

When you pulled the phone away from your ear, you noticed a total of eleven texts waiting on your Home Screen from her. 

“Oh, fuck.”

“Yep,” she sassed at you. “Where are you?!”

Frantically, you tried to find a good excuse. But you couldn’t think of anything. You really didn’t care for Elsie to know, but talking about it in front of Jake would show him you’re telling her, which would completely conflict with the rules you put in place. 

Crap.

You stared out the windshield, your eyes shutting as though in resolution to having to expose yourself, right there in front of Jake. 

Why couldn’t you think of something?! 

A hand came to lightly touch your thigh, and you looked over to see Jake, a reassuring look in his stare. 

“Tell her I forgot something important for my guitar at the venue,” he whispered, so quiet, his tone understanding. 

Your face must’ve said ‘how did you know?!’ 

Because then he hushed, “Your volume is all the way fucking up. I’m sure if I were across the street I’d be able to hear it.”

You blushed, looking away from him, out into the night sky again. He removed his hand from your thigh, and you instantly missed it. 

“Jake had to go to the venue for a guitar part he forgot,” you lied, turning your volume down a few notches. “And I got lost finding my way there. It was a fucking mess.”

“Of course you lost yourself,” she responded, impatient. “Just get home. I’ve always been kind of scared to be here by myself.”

“Oh my god. You’re fine,” you responded, putting the car in gear. “We’re on our way.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

Life was at its fucking pinnacle— the best it had been for the first time in years. 

Everything that was happening felt aligned in the stars. 

The band was doing fuckin’ fantastic. Every single gig we performed at drew more and more eyes—both fans and otherwise. 

And apparently, even more than that. . . We recently found out that a few producers had been lurking (presumably looking for the right time to bite). The manager we’d picked up had also recently been contacted by a guy connected to this big festival that was happening in August. He’d made it extremely clear that he needed us to agree before he’d even finished pitching the idea. 

“You guys don’t want to miss this opportunity,” he’d excitedly shared, his voice loud and grainy through the speaker as the four of us had listened. “It is a once in a fuckin’ lifetime, boys.”

So, there was all of that. The fact that my dreams seemed to finally be coming true was an exhilarating and unbelievable experience.

It was crazy how all it had taken was one move. The move. The move I had needed to make for the past several years, but had been too afraid of. I’d felt trapped in Illinois. Stuck under someone else’s thumb, stuck with someone I’d stopped loving a long time before I left. 

Meanwhile, the woman had been cheating on me for God knows how long. If I let myself think back on all of it, I’d realize that she was never trustworthy. I’d just fallen in love too young— oblivious to the ways someone could be so horrible.

After her, I swore I would never feel about another woman so deeply. I didn’t want to. She’d ruined it for me. And I was validated even more when Josh told me I needed to take a break from women. 

But I didn’t want a break. I just wanted to be done. No more relationships. Mindless fucking with random women was exactly what I thought I wanted. 

My ex had completely destroyed any desire I could possibly have for a relationship. Fuck relationships. Fuck love. Fuck it all.

Then I met y/n. 

She’d turned it all around with one look into her breathtaking eyes. 

It caught me completely off guard. I’d tried my damndest to reject it.

And even after all of the shit I put her through (due to me acting like a giant ass, stubborn baby), she still wanted me.

But not like I wanted her.

I wanted it all. I didn’t want just mindless sex with her. Even though Josh had adamantly instructed me to “take a fucking break”, I had resolved that I couldn’t convince myself I wanted that when it came to her. Because I wanted her. Bad. In every way. 

There was just something about her that was so fucking addictive. She was easily the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on, she loved music like I did, she was easy to talk to about anything (matching me perfectly in every conversation—or argument—we had), and she wore her heart on her sleeve (even though I knew she didn’t think so). She was endearing. 

Then there was the giant shroud of mystery around her. So many pieces to her puzzle I could tell she was hiding that I wanted to put together. 

But she didn’t want me to. She didn’t want me in every way. 

No. She just wanted sex. Sex with rules, at that. 

And at first, I didn't want to agree to any of the rules. I didn’t want rules—I knew what I wanted. I’d planned on it starting as sex and turning into more. You know, a natural flow of things. 

But her rules had made it apparent she didn’t want that. At all. So, I’d decided that the best way to have her was to have her however I could. 

So, if she just wanted sex, that’s what I’d give her.

Even though I wanted to give her all of me.

I never thought I’d want that with a woman again, but she’d proven me so, very wrong. . . no matter how hard I’d wanted to deny it. And I didn’t want it with just any woman. I wanted it with her. 

Though in spite of the relationship with her not being everything I wanted it to be, it gave me a special piece of her that I held so close. 

Sex with her was the most electrifying thing I’d ever experienced. More than the sex had ever been with any other woman. 

And even crazier: it was more compelling than playing the guitar. 

Fucking nuts—I’d never met a woman that had trumped the act of playing guitar. . .

But y/n had done just that. 

So, even though it wasn’t what I wanted in my heart, I knew I wanted her. Everything she was and is. Everything that came with her. 

But, if this was all I could get, it would have to do. It was better than not having her at all.

Having her in my arms, my dick filling her perfect pussy. . .it was the best part of my life at the moment. More so than the band. The festival. The fans. 

I still loved guitar more than a person should. . 

But. . .I loved being with her more than that. 

There was nothing in the world like watching her unfold at the work of my hands, or my mouth, or my cock. The way her body would tense, her head thrown back, a scrunched brow. . . And the whines she’d emit. . . 

I wished my guitar could make such a beautiful sound. 

And the way she’d squeeze around me, engulfed in her perfect, wet heat. So tight, warm, and smooth like velvet. . . Fuck. 

In my heart, though, I secretly hoped it would all change. That she’d decide to make it more. 

I wouldn’t ever push it. She mattered too much to me for me to do that to her. I didn’t want to make her feel like she needed to be more with me if she didn’t want it. . .I just wanted her to want me like I did, her.

But, for the time being, until some sort of magic happened and she changed her mind, I would take what I could get. 

Because, moments like the one I was in right now— her quivering and panting on top of me. Her sweaty tits, pressed against my thighs as her round, soft ass was flush against my equally sweaty abdomen. 

I could feel every bit of her dripping pussy, fluttering around me. It was still slick from my mouth and how well I’d made her cum just minutes prior. 

It felt so damn good and I was fucking loving every second of it. She fit my dick like a glove. 

“Damn, baby,” I sighed, grunting with a thrust against her. When she squeaked with a moan, I knew that I’d hit a special spot. “You like that?”

I did it again, just to hear the noise she made for a second time. She constricted around me and my cock pulsed, suddenly feeling very close. Shit. 

“Fuuuck,” she whined, her back arching. I held the curve of her ass in one hand, massaging the supple flesh with a thumb as I held her hip.

With another push of my hips, I met her sensitive spot one last time, eliciting a surprised whine from her. 

I flipped us around, removing her from me, and turned her. When she sank back down, she was facing towards me, once again riding my throbbing cock. 

But this view was better. Seeing her blissed out expressions as we fucked was amazing.

And when her tits bounced in my face, so round, full and sometimes already marked from my mouth, I had to try my hardest to not jizz right on the spot. 

In moments just like these, I couldn’t stop myself from leaning forward to lick a hardened nipple into my mouth. I licked around her areola, appreciating every ripple and curve of the sensitive flesh. I pointed my tongue, and nudged at the bud, just like I knew she liked. I did so to each breast, knowing it would be sure to send her spiraling and wanting that from her.

And before long, I felt her walls start contracting around me. I leaned back, knowing she was close and needing to see her finish. 

She looked down at me as she continued bouncing on top of me, her mouth opened just the slightest bit as she moaned at the angle. She relaxed her hips and flattened the inside of her thighs against the tops of mine. 

“Fuck,” I sighed, enjoying the way I could feel every damn inch of her. 

Though, I couldn’t help taking the reins for a moment to see her unfold in this position. Seeing her like this, letting the sun reflect off of her skin, beads of sweat glistening on her smooth skin. I had to let my lips find her shoulder as she rocked closer to me, and I kissed some of the sweet exertion off of her shaking body. 

And when I leaned up, my body filled hers to the point of her throwing her head back with a loud moan. She came back to, immediately finding my eyes to look at me. A secret smile was on her face. I reciprocated it, letting the quiet moment drown everything else out. 

But I snapped my eyes away from hers when she glanced between our bodies, mouth hanging open as she did so. I looked down, enjoying the entire view of her soft body. The movement of her hips, swaying steadily as she straddled me. . .completely mesmerizing. 

When I looked back up, she was waiting for me. I found her gaze, and tried my best to memorize every fleck of color in her eyes, glowing in the fading sunlight from the day. The sunset complimented her, making her look like the most magnificent piece of artwork. 

Fuck any other so-called famous painting. . .

Y/n put them all to utter shame. 

Her eyebrows dipped in, and she kept eye contact with me. I circled my hips, feeling the way her soaking walls enveloped me. Then, I pounded up into her, savoring what I could do from my position below her. She tightened deliciously around me, constricting me in the most immaculate way.

She whined and whimpered, the sound like music to my ears. And I couldn’t help but echo the sound as I felt her release drip down onto me. Her soft body was tense as she finished. She was so tight and warm around me. . .shit.

Enveloped in ecstasy, she threw her head back as she rode out her orgasm on top of me. Even though I couldn’t see her face, I appreciated what I could see. I watched her hips, still rocking against me. The view of her fresh, sweet cum on my dick made me bite my lip.

I knew I was on the verge of release, and no matter how badly I wanted to paint her walls, I pulled out. (I wasn’t ever going to do that to her. She didn’t want it, and I wasn’t about to do it if it wasn’t what she wanted.)

When I pulled myself out of her, I took a brief moment to grab her by the hips and lay her on her back. 

Her breasts were round and soft, nipples erect and begging to be covered with my climax from their home on her wet chest. 

And as I jerked myself onto them, feeling immediate relief as I came, I briefly glanced up at her face to see her watching the entrancing sight with me. 

“Like what you see?” I said, panting with one final pull of my hand against my cock, letting every last bit of me drain onto her. 

And as I let go of myself, sighing with exhaustion, I grabbed my shirt from next to her head to wipe her chest clean. She gave me a fucked-out grin. Humming an affirmation to my question, she softly nodded her head with a yawn. Her eyes fluttered closed as she curled up on my bed, her hair fanned out on the pillow. I pulled the sheets and comforter up to rest over her arms, and the smile she sent me as I did so made my heart leap in my chest. 

Dammit, she was a fuckin’ dream.

I got up to take a quick shower before the show we had tonight, leaving her to rest in my sheets. She was far too precious to disturb. 

I loved the fact that she felt comfortable enough to do that; stay in my bed. 

I knew she’d end up coming to the show tonight, and I was hoping her resting now would help her to feel fully awake to be a part of it with me.

She’d been consistent for the past couple of weeks with coming to every single show. I couldn’t help but notice that this whole fuck buddy thing had her wanting to be a part of my life more than before.

Our secret, somehow drawing us closer.

The nagging voice in my head kept reminding me that Josh was there, too, so it was possible it wasn’t all for me. . .but I also knew better and usually told the voice to shut the fuck up.

I wanted to enjoy myself—let myself be happy with her being there and not let pessimistic thoughts get in the way. 

It was fucking fantastic when I’d perform, and I’d simultaneously know that she was out there, enjoying every second of it with me. I would never say it to her for fear of freaking her out, but . . .

She was my favorite fan to entertain. The best smile in the crowd for me to look out and see. 

Anytime she was there, I knew for a goddamned fact I performed better. She was my lucky charm. 

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

The rest of July and beginning of August were chock-full of the following: finishing your summer course, working almost double time to make up for Josh’s weird hours. . .and most importantly: fucking Jake Kiszka.

All of the time, as a matter of fact. It had become an almost-daily thing. And you weren’t about to let it change. 

Because fuck was it the best sex you’d ever had. Jesus Christ. 

You were fine with it being strictly sex. It was good for both of you. He was able to stay focused on his career, and you weren't at risk of getting hurt by him, or distracted from school. It kept lines very clear and thick. Never giving any kind of idea that it could become more. You’d have sex, then go about life like normal. In front of your friends, neither of you ever let anything look even slightly amiss— except for one thing you were sure they’d noticed. 

Your relationship had changed from before. . . Friendship, making its grand entrance. 

Having sex with Jake had, obviously, given you both several more opportunities to learn each other and bond. . . It had been impossible to not become friends. Being friendly to each other, including in front of everyone else was now the norm, and you really fucking liked it. 

Being friends with Jake was honestly great. He wasn’t constantly on the defense anymore. Instead, hopping to your defense a few times. 

Whether it be snapping at Sam for making a sideways comment he hadn’t thought of before he’d said it. Or the rando guy at the bowling alley who’d sized you up. 

You’d never vocalize the way it would make your tummy flip or the way you’d think about it later when you’d fuck him nice and slow. . . The idea of him defending you, making your heart and body do funny things. 

It was just nice to have a good friend. 

And it was even more nice knowing you’d, more likely than not, end up in his bed at the end of each day.

But, of course, not letting yourself fall asleep in there as that would definitely blur the nice, comforting, dark lines that’d been drawn.

What you weren’t about to admit was how hard it was for you to leave him at night.

And how cold you’d feel, alone in your bed. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Quiet mornings with him might were the best and the worst. 

The ones where you’d sneak into his room, always finding him still-asleep. You’d wake him up by crawling under the covers and slipping the band of his briefs down. 

It had become so routine that it was like his cock would wait for you— already hard and the tip emitting the tiniest bit of precum. 

Sometimes you’d ride it to wake him up. But, you honestly preferred the other times. . . Where you would let your mouth envelop the crown of his dick, and then the entire shaft in slow, languid strokes of your tongue. 

And every time, to your pleasure, it didn’t take long for him to awaken. His tired eyes would open, finding you as he’d wipe the sleepiness from them. 

A soft smile, gracing his handsome features. 

Then, adding to your bliss, he would take control and fuck you until your toes would curl. The morning birds would chirp outside his window as you’d unravel at his hands, mouth, or thick cock. . . a most ideal start to your day. 

Then, when he’d finish, you never found yourself looking at his face. You weren’t sure why, but it intimidated the hell out of you to witness what he looked like when he would unfold. You were sure his features looked the most beautiful they possibly could. . . Even just envisioning the dip of his brow, his mouth falling open as he emptied onto your chest, stomach, or back. . . It felt too intimate.

So, instead, you’d listen to the little noises he’d make, and watch his pretty dick pulse as it would spurt onto your breasts or tummy. The warmth of his release, a surprisingly wonderful feeling on your bare skin.

But the worst part would be after. . .when he’d clean you off with such care. How, after you’d return from the bathroom to refresh, he would be waiting for you, the covers open and an arm, extended and waiting for you to curl into. You would naturally mold to his side, his arm strong as it would help you roll into him. Usually, you’d fall asleep, with your head on his chest and hear his steady heartbeat lull you to sleep. 

But, other times, like this morning, you’d sit your chin on top of your hand, resting on his chest. And you’d just. . . talk. 

His calloused fingertips would draw mindless shapes on your back and you’d get lost in his chocolate irises. 

“What’s your middle name?” He asked, his voice so relaxing in the gray quietness of his bedroom. 

You told him, and he got a little glint in his eye. His lips had perked, “That suits you,” he sighed, letting a few fingers curl in your hair. He studied the way his fingers looked in your hair as you watched his pupils dilate in watching the action. 

“What’s yours?” You’d wondered aloud. 

His eyes found yours again, his brow raising. “Thomas,” he lazily responded. 

“Suits you,” you repeated his line. Your eyes squinted with a giggle as he tickled your side just a bit. 

“Copycat,” he smiled. 

“It does fit you,” you confirmed, more seriously. “Jacob Thomas,” you said, trying the name on your lips.

You couldn’t help but catch how his eyes lit up at the sound. He bent his arm to perch his head up with his free arm, setting his head on the curve of his forearm. 

“I like the way it sounds coming from your mouth,” he murmured. 

“Say mine,” you requested. 

And, he did as you said. 

The grin that found its way to your mouth was unstoppable. You loved the way your name sounded with his velvety tone. 

You’d never heard it sound so pretty. 

For the next ten minutes, it went on like that. 

Just little bits and pieces of yourselves, getting shared with the other. Things that didn’t expose your hidden truths, but little surface-level things that helped in knowing the other better. 

And when you finally decided to get up and start your day, you stood next to each other as you brushed your teeth. It was sweet. And you felt close to him. You really, really liked it.

But what made it so bad was that you weren’t sure it was okay to feel so close to him. It wasn’t wise to let yourselves get so wrapped up in the other. . . But it felt too nice for the time being to put a stop to it.

You’d always convince yourself that friends did shit like that all the time. How else were you supposed to get to know someone? 

So, you let it happen under the guise that it was just friends getting acquainted with each other. 

It was just so intimate. . . And what it did to your heart was cruel. 

Those quiet moments tempted you, made you want more with him. More you already knew you couldn’t ever have. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Friends was still going on in the background when your eyes opened. All of the lights were still on, and your laptop was balanced on your blanket-covered thigh. 

And there was a giant crook in your neck from letting your head roll onto the back of the couch. 

You must’ve dozed off in the middle of writing a paper. 

Shouldn’t have had those couple glasses of wine. . ., you tiredly thought, going to snuggle back into the couch, in a more comfortable position.

But what caught you off guard was the hand rubbing your arm. The quiet voice, bringing you out of your daze. 

“Y/n,” Jake urged, his hand still smoothing up and down your arm. “Come on, babe. Wake up. Let’s get you to bed.”

You huffed, sleep pulling you back. “Don’t want sex right now. Tired.”

He chuckled, his hand still massaging your arm. Then, he was pushing you up to a full sitting position, your head felt dizzy. “I know,” he reassured, his voice calming you down. “I mean, you need to go to bed. Go to sleep.”

You blinked your eyes, squinting in the brightness of the room. “I need to finish my paper.”

“You’re too tired to do that,” he said. “You were out of it when I got back. Finish your paper tomorrow.”

You drooped your head in defeat. “Fine,” you conceded. It took a couple tries of standing up for you to realize you couldn’t do it on your own, and before you could try again, Jake was helping you. “Thanks, Jakey,” you mumbled. 

A few more guided steps to your bedroom found you sliding under your already-turned down sheets and down comforter. Jake helped your head find the pillow as you laid down to sleep.

 Just as you were about to let sleep totally take you, you jostled with a thought. “Stevie hasn’t eaten yet,” you sleepily fumbled with your covers to get up. 

Jake’s hand stopped your actions, “I already fed her,” he assured. “You go to sleep.”

“The TV and lights—.”

“I’ll turn them off,” he pulled the covers up to your chin. “Goodnight.”

Finally, you relented, and just seconds later, as you were about to fade into dreamland again, you stirred. 

Too cold. Too lonely.

“Jake?” You called. Not hearing a response, you called again. “Jake?!”

He came back, rushing in with a worried look on his face. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You nestled back under your covers, relaxing knowing that he was near. Your eyes fell shut again. “Lonely,” you mumbled into the pillow. 

“What?” He crouched next to your bed, brushing his fingers through your hair. “You’re hungry?”

Irritated, you flicked your eyes open to give him a look. “Lonely.”

“Oh,” he leaned back a bit, his hand falling from your hair. At the motion stopping, you whined, shutting your eyes. He got the hint and started again. “What do you want me to do about that?”

“Lay with me.”

“That’s against the rule—.”

“Not if you just lay with me for a little bit,” you muttered, opening your lids to give him your best puppy dog eyes. “Just until I fall asleep.”

“And what if I accidentally fall asleep?”

“Worry about it in the morning,” you scooted over a little, opening the bed up for him. “Please?”

He sighed before saying, “I need to finish cleaning up real quick. I’ll be back.”

And when he came back, he’d changed into pajama pants, sans a shirt. You nuzzled into his solid chest, and let his breaths be your white noise to get you to sleep. 

It was the first night in weeks that you’d slept completely sound, not feeling any worries as you enjoyed a dreamless sleep.

-🌼🌼🌼-

He’d humored you a few times and went to the Black and Gold to look at vinyl with you on  days you both had time off.

You’d spend a bit of time browsing, and then take breaks to bicker with each other. Music was still where you occasionally butted heads, but it had turned into the kind of head butting that you enjoyed. 

It was a constant battle of challenging each other, and it gave you ample opportunity to defend the music you loved so much.

And more often than not these days . . . The little pokes and prods ended with you two conceding and giving the other person a chance. 

Usually, you’d leave the store with a new record in tow that the other had recommended. And then, you’d go home and enjoy the music together, giving it a chance. 

Then, normally, you’d end up bent over the couch as he railed you from behind, the records being the most incredible background noise to the moans and groans elicited between the two of you.

After that, the two of you spent and panting with his sweaty chest sticking to your equally sweaty back, you’d decide to order pizza and watch a few episodes of New Girl to finish the night.

-🌼🌼🌼-

“So, explain Baby Dragon.”

You giggled, just closing the K-Cup pod into the Keurig. “What?”

“Your nickname,” he affirmed, coming to stand with his butt pressed against the sink, arms crossed. His face was open, imploring out of mere curiosity. 

“They decided to call me that when we started binging Game of Thrones together.” 

He nodded. “I knew that part.” He continued, “But why?”

Humming, you took your coffee mug off the Keurig. You tapped your chin, holding the mug in the other hand. “Have you seen Game of Thrones?” 

“Yes,” he confirmed. “That shit’s right up my alley.”

“So, you know how the baby dragons are small, yet fierce?” You asked, taking a cautious sip of the hot drink. “The guys claimed I was super adorable and cute like them, too. Fuckin’ weirdos.”

It all clicked in his head, a smirk on his features as he nodded. “Duh, Jake,” he said to himself, shaking his head. “That makes so much sense. I don’t know why it didn’t click before.”

“To be fair, it could’ve meant a variety of things.”

He reached an arm above your head, getting his own K-cup and mug down from the cabinet and began his own brew as he eyed you up and down. 

“You are fierce,” he agreed. But then he took a hand to your hip, squeezing. “But not quite as small as the baby dragons,” he snaked his hand around to hold a handful of your ass. You felt yourself immediately twitch with need. He leaned down and kissed your lips, his breath fresh from his Crest toothpaste. Your tummy filled with warm fuzzies. “You’re curvier. In all the best fucking ways,” he pulled away and you instantly missed him. He grabbed his coffee off the machine and added sugar. 

You’d already started cracking some eggs for breakfast, as he went about getting the toast ready for you. 

He placed a strong hand on your stomach, and you leaned into his touch as you scrambled your eggs. You tipped your head back as he swooped your hair to the side to give you a quick kiss on the lips. 

Then, he was passing you as he made his way out and to the shower. But on his way out of the kitchen, he stopped to add, “And you’re way fuckin’ cuter.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

It was a steaming hot day in the middle of August when Sam proposed that everyone join him at this AirBnb he had booked. 

(It had been a classic, weird Sam thing to book the AirBnb. Literally just getting it to spend the weekend hooking up with a girl he’d recently met.)

About halfway through the day, the sun beating down on all of you, Josh proposed using the little bar off the side of the place. Sam, Daniel, and Sam’s ‘friend’ had heartily agreed. You had as well, and went to get out with everyone else. 

But then you heard Jake’s voice, and paused. 

“Y/n and I are enjoying the water too much. ‘S hot as fuck,” he had said it loud enough for everyone to give simultaneous ‘okay!’s’ in response. They were all hurriedly making their way to the mini bar, leaving you in the pool.

You’d stopped yourself, still partially out of the pool, halfway up the ladder. Looking back at him, questioning, you found he was blatantly staring at your mostly exposed ass, that was peeking just above the water. 

You squinted your eyes at him, as he lounged with his arms on the concrete edge of the pool. He was still sitting where he’d been last time you’d seen him. Sitting on a little ledge beneath the water. His sunglasses pushed down his nose a bit to expose his line of sight, burning into your ass. 

And when everyone was out of earshot, you spoke. “Like what you see, Kiszka?” 

His eyes snapped to yours when you’d spoken, a smirk gracing his dark features. “Fuck yeah I do,” he nodded his head at you once, signaling you to move. “Come over here.”

And without having to be told twice, you sunk back into the cool water, swimming over to meet him. Never breaking eye contact, you waded slowly and grabbed a noodle to rest your arms and breasts on as you floated over. 

He continued on as you got close. “Did you have to wear the tiniest swimsuit you own?”

You looked bashful, but your smile was flirty. “Oh, you think it’s too small? Should I get rid of it?”

When you were close enough, he reached out a hand to pull you into him by your pool noodle. 

He spoke softly in your ear. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare.”

Your skin blazed, you whispered in his exposed ear, his hair tucked behind it. “Why?”

He grabbed the noodle out from under your chest and threw it over the edge of the pool, landing with a flop on the pavement. And when he could, he grabbed you smoothly by your waist, into his crotch. 

And you were suddenly able to feel why. He was hard against you, making your legs weak and your pussy flutter. He was smug, his sunglasses still pushed down as you matched his stare and met his boldness by wrapping your legs around him. 

You used your new position to rock your hips into his, the pool waving out around you just a bit as you did so. 

“You better be careful,” he said softly, his grip going to your round ass, your bottoms leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. 

You tensed, gasping when you felt his fingers toy with the string of your bikini bottoms. 

“The more noise you make, the sooner they’ll come back,” he swiftly untied one of the strings, exposing you to the water. The coldness made you hiss through your teeth. “Mm,” he hummed. “Cold, baby? Let me warm you up.” 

A finger slipped inside of you and you had to bite your lip to hide the moan dying to leave your lips. You felt his finger slip in and out, in and out, getting closer to hitting your secret spot every time it would reenter. You wrapped an arm around his neck. “Your finger?” You asked haughtily, breathing heavy. “Was expecting mor—.”

You couldn’t hide the gasp as the one finger changed to two, plunging into you, his thumb drawing circles against your hard clit. “Better, princess?”

Changing from one arm around his neck to two, you thrusted into his fingers, rolling your hips to match his thumb on your clit. The water waved around you. Gripping his hair, you looked into his sunglasses, now pushed back up, his eyes blazing through the tinted lenses. Your body was shaking, but you weren’t going to cum like this. 

You knew what you wanted right now and it wasn’t his fingers. 

“Too scared to use your dick?” You challenged him.

He momentarily removed his fingers, roughly bringing you back to feel his thick, clothed shaft. Your bare folds pulsed at the feeling of him so close to you. You felt him twitch underneath you. 

“What’s stopping you, Jakey?” You reached one hand, one arm keeping your balance to thrust into him, to play with the hem of his black trunks. “Afraid they’ll see?”

He replaced his fingers in you again, flexing them once again, this time meeting your g-spot. You exhaled above him, your body tensing. “Are you?” He questioned, seeming to genuinely wonder. “You don’t want them to know. I'm just trying to respect your rules, sweetheart,” he used the nickname, but his tone was anything but sweet, dripping with sarcasm. 

You didn’t take the time to respond, stopping your movements briefly, and looking behind your shoulder to check if the coast was clear. You couldn’t even hear them anymore. They were gone for the time being. If you moved swiftly enough. . . 

He looked disappointed for a second, but you couldn’t see what else his face did as you acted on your quick, risky idea, holding your nose to plunge underwater and pull his bottoms down, his hips moving up immediately to help you. You took no time to sink your wet mouth over his smooth cock. It wasn’t as heavy as you were used to on your tongue, the water helping with some sort of anti-gravity shit. 

There was a hand in your hair, pushing you down onto him. You knew he’d like it. Keeping your nose pinched, you reached the other hand, slowly through the water, to wrap at his base, squeezing him. Your tongue licked long stripes on the underside of his dick, savoring it and meeting his head every time you squeezed him with your hand. 

But you didn’t keep that way for long, needing to breathe. You pulled his bottoms almost all the way back up, but left his dick out. When you re-emerged, smoothing your hair back, you took a good look at his face, seeing his mouth hanging open. 

Ha, gotcha, you thought, deviously. Just you wait, baby.

When you came back to him you took zero time as you reached below the water to find his length. You positioned yourself over it, quickly sinking onto him, ready to get this over with before people came back. But as your walls fluttered around him, you wished you were alone. 

He felt so damn good. Fuck. 

You wiggled your hips, the smallest whine escaping your lips at how well he filled you up. This caused his head to roll to the side the slightest bit, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Feel good?” You teased, rocking your hips on top of his thick cock. “We’ve gotta make this quick, so help a girl out.”

You shouldn’t have said anything, because as soon as the words left your mouth, he was grasping your hips, leveling himself to slam up into you. 

The loud moan that left your mouth was unavoidable, and you clasped a hand over your mouth to keep your noises hushed. 

He raised his hips as forcefully as he could with the weight of the water, lifting you up and down a few times, and you matched him with measured rolls of your hips. 

Without any warning, he pulled a triangle of your swim top to the side to see a tit as they bounced with each thrust. He leaned forward a bit, licking a circle around your nipple and then grasped your boob in his strong hand as he pumped with merciless rhythm into you. 

“Fuck,” you moaned through your hand. Your breast was still tingling from where he licked it. But now you had the friction from his palm against your nipple, combined with his movements. . . And it was too much. You removed your hand, leaning to whisper in his ear. “More, Jake.”

And, without relenting even a bit, he started giving you exactly what you asked for. It was slightly painful, but it was what you needed at that moment. 

You started groaning into his ear, feeling his thickness slide smoothly within you. Sensing your need, he slipped a thumb between you to rub even circles against your bundle of nerves. The steady circles, along with the erratic thrusts of his dick into you, sent you spiraling, quick. 

Knowing you well, he pushed your mouth into his sweat-drenched neck. Your tongue found the saltiness of his skin, kissing his neck to mask the noises that left you, your legs quivering as you finished. 

Just as soon, he was pulling himself out of you, and lifting his bottoms back up to cum behind the black material. 

You dunked beneath the water to cool off, and to your happy surprise, he joined you, his sunglasses off. Looking into his eyes for as long as you could, you sent him a little grin, going to lift back up. But before you could, he grabbed you swiftly behind your neck and met your lips underwater. 

As soon as you parted, you were rising back up, pushing your hair back as he placed his sunglasses over his eyes again.

And, as if on cue, you heard feet scuttling back to the pool just as you were adjusting your top and re-tying your bottoms above water. 

“Drinks!” Josh sang to you both. He handed both you and Jake your respective beverages. You sipped yours, and Jake took a healthy swig of beer as soon as they were placed in your hands. 

“This is fucking delicious,” you commented. “What is it?”

“Pineapple Upside Down,” Sam’s girl-thing responded, sipping her own. 

You hummed, nodding. 

Taking another drink, you went to sit it down on the pool when Danny piped up. “Whatever the hell you guys were playing while we were gone. . . We’re in.” 

You went silent, not even daring to look over at Jake. Though, you could hear as he started choking on his drink. 

“So much splashing!” Sam added. “It sounded fun!”

“Sunken Treasure, I’m sure,” Josh chimed in, grabbing the sinking stick from the ledge next to his long-haired twin. “You guys know Jake loves that game.”

The other two gave sounds of agreement. Your belly flipped.

Letting yourself look over at Jake, he was looking at Josh, nodding, trying his best to look convincing. “Hell yeah,” he piped up. “It’ll be more fun with more people though.”

“Well then. . .let’s play!” Josh yelled, excited. His new curls, sopping wet and sticking to his forehead as he threw the stick into the water.

Before you started playing, you sent a secret glance to your roommate, who was already smirking over at you. 

Your cheeks heated, getting a thrill at how oblivious all of your friends were to what you had truly been “playing.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were with Theo at a coffee shop, studying for the final in your summer course, when the first email came in. 

The first email that signaled the end of summer. The usual “Welcome Back!” email which included too many campus announcements and upcoming events. . . 

Your heart sunk when you saw it come in. 

Deep in your gut, you knew that this was what you’d been dreading since starting things with Jake. 

Real life getting in the way of summer and the fun you’d been having with Jake. 

You didn’t know why, but this email seemed to scream at you that you needed to get your shit together. 

And, as hard as it was, you were going to try your damndest to ignore the voice in your head for the time being. It was the same aggravating, pessimistic voice that bothered you consistently by speaking so-called reason into your life. 

(The same, familiar one that’d looked out for you as you’d grieved your mother leaving you as a little girl.)

This time, it felt as though the voice was also telling you that when school started, it would be time to cut things off with Jake. 

It’s not a smart decision to start your senior year distracted, y/n, it chided.

But you didn’t want to listen to that fucking voice. 

Not yet. 

Summer wasn’t over. And you weren’t about to let the damned nagging voice end your fun (and newfound, genuine happiness) too soon.  

-🌼🌼🌼-

You came home from studying, close to tears. It was ridiculous. There was no reason to be so sad about all of this ending. It was literally just sex. You could get it elsewhere.

But I don’t want it elsewhere, you thought. I only want it with Jake. Fuck. Why?

If you thought about it long enough, you’d let yourself see why. But you weren’t about to do that. Hell no. 

To your surprise, while you were feeding Stevie, you felt a tear hit your hand. 

You groaned, wiping furiously under your eyes, pressing your palms to your heated cheeks. “Stupid,” you told yourself, hearing your voice was thick with tears. 

Just as you felt another tear leave your eye, the front door opened. 

You tried to turn before Jake could see you, but Stevie came up to your leg, purring to comfort you before you could. Shit. 

“Y/n?” He said, placing a comforting hand on your back. Hesitantly, you looked up at him through your tears. Why were you crying so fucking much? “You okay, baby?”

The pet name was the final straw, and instead of it making you angry with him that he’d said it, it sent you curling into his arms. 

Letting your tears soak his shirt, you cried out of ridiculous sadness that you’d have to say goodbye to this thing you had with him soon. Too soon.

You couldn’t keep it. You would never let whatever this was distract either of your paths. And you knew eventually it would. Better to end it before that ever happened.

But not yet.

And, as always, you were set on it not being something to lose your best friend over. If Josh were to find out of it happening, you knew his trust would be completely betrayed.

This wasn’t something that was meant to last. You’d known that from the beginning. So why was it feeling so hard to face right now?

Because you’re finally feeling true happiness and trust with someone new—someone special— for the first time in years, the sweet, comforting voice in your head spoke. Because he is something special and you know it.

You continued to feel Jake, running his fingers through your hair, rubbing your back in comforting strokes. “Shhh,” he soothed. You raised your head from his chest and he used his thumbs to wipe away the excess tears. When eventually you’d caught your breath, he asked. “What happened?”

Looking up at him, you found his brow furrowed in concern. You couldn’t fully tell him what you were actually upset about. Absolutely not. 

Moving away from him the slightest bit to gain your bearings, you sniffed a few times. “Just intimidated by what’s to come, I guess,” you said, not lying. Just not giving the whole truth. “Not ready for life to change with senior year and stuff.”

He lifted his lips in a reassuring grin, his eyes full of empathy for your current state. “I get that,” he said, his raspy voice ever-soothing. He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, smoothing your cheek in the process. “But surely it won’t be too bad, right?”

You had to bite your lip to keep another sob from breaking loose. Sniffing the tears back, you nodded, slapping a fake smile on your face. “Yeah. Not too bad.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: as the saying goes, good things don't always last forever. . . next chapter will bring some changes for our precious y/n and jake . . . what do you think those changes will be?

please, as always, don't hesitate to reach out! i love, love, love hearing from you all! your feedback means the world to me &lt;3

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

Taglist: @joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend, @aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf, @hi-hi-hello11, @sinarainbows, @jakesbarbarian, @mybussyinchrist, @becinabubblegvf, @heckingfrick, @danigvf, @pinkandsleepy1934, @derrangeddumpsterfire, @klarxtr

[vettelsvee]

SHE'S NOT HANNA | Sebastian Vettel

f1 masterlist | history series masterlist | season 1

history series season 2: part 1 | part 2.1 | part 2.2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6

summary: seb overhears di talking with her sister only for him to find out her birthday is next monday... and that he has confused feelings about the intern

word count: 3507

warnings: bad language. mention to threesomes. much disrespect towards diana from a certain driver. narrated on seb's pov. i remind you this is a fictional work and everything you read here is not real.

taglist: [@theseerbetweenus @annewithaneofthegreengable @vincentvanshoe @formulaonebuff @roisinivy] if you wanna be tagged in each part just tell me in the comments <3

feedback, as well as reblogs and comments, are truly appreciated!

2009 Bahrain Grand Prix Bahrain International Circuit, Sakhir

April 25th

Saturday

Sebastian

The qualifying session in Bahrain went well, but it could have gone much better. That third place on the grid for the race the next day could have been a pole position if Rocky hadn't insisted on using the same amount of fuel we would start the race with tomorrow. Even Diana had said that with about two liters less it would have been better!

There was still some tension in the garage because our results hadn't been as expected, but I tried not to dwell on it as I watched the sun begin to set on the horizon, listening to my engineer's analysis and the deafening noises of the mechanics, whom I admired for working tirelessly on Mark's car and mine. The conversation Rocky and I were engrossed in was so fruitful that, to our surprise, we had been analyzing every single piece of data we could extract from the other drivers and, especially, discussing the improvements that could be made the next day for nearly three hours.

Di had been with us for most of the time, with a concentration that pleasantly surprised us. When her phone started ringing, the engineer's insistence that she answer the call, despite her attempts to insist it wasn't important, finally made a move a few meters away from us to take it.

I tried not to pay attention in what the blonde was talking about. After all, it was probably related to her personal life. As I studied the graphs and numbers in front of me, I couldn't help but get distracted when her soft voice, speaking in German, rose slightly:

"Yes, Ame, I understand," she tried to whisper calmly, failing miserably. Many of those present began to look at her curiously, wanting to know what my teammate's call was about. "Don't worry, okay? I'll be home on Monday night so don't get your hopes up too much... it's not like Dad is going to behave differently now that I'm away from home most of the time."

As much as I wished the latter hadn't made me want to know more about Wagner's personal life, I made every effort to focus my gaze and open my ears to the data I was being given, but it was totally impossible.

I hated myself because I couldn't forget about her, especially when all she did was raise her voice more and more, even catching Helmut's attention, who seemed to be in a bad mood.

"It's just another day," she continued, breathing in and out for relaxation. "Don't get me wrong: I know it's my birthday, but after so many years without celebrating it, I feel like it's just another day. Besides," she added, "it's good for me because I can focus on studying during the flight back home."

Listening to that made me completely stop paying attention to the conversation with Rocky, and I blatantly stared at the girl, who was still on the phone. I didn't know how to react to that, but I also couldn't find out much more about what she was saying because, as if she had realized that we were all paying attention to her, she switched to what sounded like Spanish. A perfect Spanish that not even Fernando spoke.

I might have been born to drive because it was the only thing I managed to do well, but... why did she do everything right?

"Seb, are you listening?"

"Uh... yeah."

My response was as calm as possible, but I realized I had failed miserably as the man in front of me began shaking his head, continuing to talk to me about things that had stopped mattering to me several minutes ago. My mind couldn't stop thinking about Di's birthday. Knowing that she hadn't celebrated it for a long time, for whatever reason, made me feel quite sorry, especially when I looked back at the last celebration Hanna and my mother had prepared for me at home.

Seeing that my mind was increasingly wandering, Rocky decided to let me go, but not without reminding me that I should be as calm as possible that afternoon so as not to interfere with tomorrow's results.

That's what he thought, because I certainly didn't plan to end the day in the calmest way.

Quickly, I got up from my seat and headed towards the entrance of the box from the pit lane, running. Seeing Mark standing with his mechanics, his arms slightly crossed and covered in grease up to his elbows, relaxed me a little for some reason; although, deep down, I was dying of nerves to tell him about the idea that had occurred to me and that I knew made no sense, but that I would still like to carry out.

At least someone would rid me of the birds my head had created.

"I know you don't care, but I think I have a very good idea."

"Do you know how to screw over the rest of the teams so we can at least win the constructors championship?"

Was this guy okay, or was stress making him say such nonsense?

"What? No!" I quickly replied while laughing, trying to get to the point and not beat around the bush. "Listen to me, and then you can say whatever you want, okay?" The Australian nodded, so I didn't hesitate to speak. "Monday is Di's birthday, and we're going to throw her a surprise party after the race," I affirmed, convincing myself that everything would go according to my sudden plans.

Webber looked confused, possibly because he was either surprised by my decision or completely agreed with it.

"Have you talked to anyone about this? Is Britta okay with you getting carried away? Are you sure Hanna won't mind? Does Diana know that you know her birthday in on Monday?"

His voice didn't stop for a moment, and I could even hear him getting breathless because he didn't pause for a second to catch his breath. His constant questions were making me more uneasy than I already was, so I didn't hesitate to cut him off.

"No," I began answering each of his questions. "No, and I don't care. Hanna is very understanding about the whole Diana thing, and she's the only thing that matters here; just because my girlfriend isn't the center of my life for once doesn't mean anything, Di deserves it."

"Okay..." my teammate replied, not very convinced, exerting more force in his crossed arms. "What do you need help with?"

Dam., I hadn't prepared anything because I hadn't planned to get to the point where Mark Webber actually agreed with me and wanted to help me with a crazy idea.

"Well... I thought we could do it at the hotel, right after the race," I explained as my mind projected a beautiful party with lots of balloons, a huge cake, and many gifts. "In a calm way, you know Di isn't usually into big parties," I clarified, remembering all the times she had been offered to come party with us, but she had politely declined, not limiting herself to making excuses. "I have to talk to other drivers first to see if they agree. What do you think?"

"Once we're in trouble, do things right," he replied. "Don't worry about anything now. Go talk to whoever you need to, and in the meantime, I'll call the hotel to reserve a large hall where we can all fit and you can fill it with confetti and stuff."

While my relationship with the light brown-eyed man was good, and I knew I could partly be myself when I spent time with him, I hadn't reached the point of trust to beg him for help with something. I suppose he thought the same of me, and now he would surely want to kill me for the mess I had just gotten him into; but he hid it perfectly because his smile never left his face.

"Thanks, Mark," I replied sincerely. "This means a lot to me, and I'm sure it does to Di too."

"Don't mention it, Seb. I'm happy to help you make your favorite paddock girl happy," he said, using the phrase I usually referred to the girl with, giving me a pat on the shoulder.

Immediately afterward, after several more glances and making sure the Australian didn't reveal the plan in front of the blonde, I began my journey through the paddock. Although at first I was a little worried about how reluctant people might be to my proposal, I ended up surprising myself because the vast majority of team bosses, drivers, and various members of the staff from the different teams agreed to come the next day to celebrate Di's twenty-first birthday.

Throughout all that hustle and bustle I avoided Britta, whom I ran into a couple of times. I felt guilty for not telling her what I was planning, but I was aware that she was going to give me hell as soon as she had the chance, and she was going to call me everything but nice. I knew that lately she had gotten much closer to the Austrian, and they had made some plans together, but there were still certain topics that my public relations and I were still avoiding, and that at the least opportune moment were going to come up.

Lewis and Fernando were the most excited to hear the proposal, even encouraging me to keep spreading the news. Others, like Rosberg, almost made me lose my nerves.

"We have to do something that surprises her! Man, it's Di's birthday, and if you say she hasn't celebrated it in forever, we have to make it even more unforgettable!"

Nico was so excited that it seemed like the celebration was for him. He kept raising his arms and that, along with the fact that he didn't stop using the nickname I had given to the girl, just made me angrier and angrier.

I was overreacting, and I couldn't deny that I was getting jealous because of the close relationship he seemed to have with the blonde. The affection with which he spoke about her was by no means similar to the one I had for, for example, Karina.

"Can you calm down for once?" I whispered angrily as I tried to calm his gestures. "You're not five years old and someone just gave you a Tamagotchi, damn it."

"Are you sure you're doing the right thing, Vettel?"

I felt Nico's penetrating gaze analyzing my expression, which was probably a mess. His words, totally contrary to what I thought he was going to say, were loaded with insinuation and provocation, and he knew it perfectly; I was smarter than him, and I wasn't going to play his game.

Before answering him, I clenched my teeth and forced myself to take a deep breath as I slowly counted to ten, trying to keep my calm as best as I could despite the growing anger that was quickly building up inside me.

"What are you talking about, Nico?" I asked, using the same tactic he was using and fixing my eyes on his.

I didn't understand why he was asking that, especially when he had no idea about my personal life, except that Prater was my girlfriend, of course. Everyone knew that except Diana, and I hoped it would stay that way until I found the right moment to tell her, or until they met each other.

"This whole surprise party for Diana," he continued, not abandoning the provocative tone that was bothering me so much. "Are you sure you're doing the right thing?" he repeated threateningly.

What right did this guy have to question what I was doing or not doing with my personal life? If Roeske barely controlled anything about me, even though that was his job, this jerk wasn't going to do it.

"It's none of your business, Rosberg," I replied flippantly.

My compatriot smiled as if he had gotten what he wanted: to anger me and make me snap.

"I don't know. I just wonder what Hanna would think if she found out about all this. Do you think she would be happy to see you bending over backward to have a stranger kneeled in front of you?"

The mention of my girlfriend made something stir in my stomach.

He knew perfectly well how I was feeling at that moment, and as much as my angry gaze was begging him to stop, he didn't seem willing to. 

"And what do you think Diana would say if your girlfriend showed up unexpectedly at her birthday party? They would finally know about each other's existence, and it would be a perfect gift for your little pet!"

The blond's provocations were starting to go too far. I could feel my jaw tensing and my fists clenching. I was trying to keep my composure, God or whatever exists knew it well, but I couldn't take it anymore. Not anymore.

"Don't you dare talk about Di like that, Nico. You're crossing the line."

"I think I know what surprise you're preparing for Wagner after the party: a threesome with her and Hanna," he continued. "Well, that would be more to make you happy than them."

That comment was the last straw. I wasn't going to allow him to speak badly of either of the two girls, but I wasn't going to say anything at the moment because I knew that the punch I could receive in the face from Rosberg would cause me more problems than, if I was honest with myself, I didn't give a damn about.

Therefore, without saying another word, I turned around and headed towards the parking lot at the same time I heard the comments from the Williams driver calling me a coward, unfaithful, idiot, and a bunch of insults that I tried not to care about but definitely were affecting me more than I wanted them to. I realized this when I reached my car and kicked one of the bins next to it so hard that it was hard for me to walk the few meters that separated it from the driver's door.

On my way to the mall, doubts began to torment me. It was the first time I gave myself the opportunity to think about myself and what it seemed I was experiencing.

Was I being a good boyfriend to Hanna, or was I just behaving like a jerk who sometimes thought of another girl when he saw her? Was that fair to Di, or was it totally normal given the admiration I had for the Austrian?

As I made my way through the streets of Bahrain, what I was most afraid to ask myself was what had begun to flood my mind in a worrying way: did I truly love Hanna, or our relationship had become a habit that I couldn't break out due to the fear of the unknown?

I tried not to think too much about it because she didn't deserve it, but I couldn't avoid it anymore. Since Diana had come into my life in a closer way, I had been avoiding my feelings, and now, now that I finally seemed to recognize that something was wrong with myself, the mental block began to make itself present, along with the tears streaming down my cheeks as I drove in silence except for the constant echo in my head of Nico Rosberg's insults, which hadn't stopped since I lost sight of him.

When I arrived at the mall and parked the car clumsily, in a position that didn't even correspond to the white lines drawn on the asphalt, I took out my cell phone and saw that, in addition to a call from my partner, along with several text messages from her, there were a multitude of voicemail messages from Britta, possibly from missed calls. That only made me feel worse: the woman had only tried to communicate with me for, surely, something important.

I called her, and she didn't take long to answer. Her voice sounded really worried, but I didn't give her the opportunity to talk much because I felt the need to unload everything that had been inside me for so long:

"Britta... I need to talk to you because you are my mother when I don't have mine by my side," I murmured, my voice breaking because I couldn't contain my emotion. "I have so many doubts in my head, and I don't know what to do anymore."

"Of course, I'm here to listen to you. What's wrong? I saw you today in the paddock very excited preparing the party that I found out you're going to throw for Diana tomorrow."

I sighed, defeated and, why not say it, excited by her calm, calm voice, and by her last sentence. My words flowed in such a way that it seemed like I had been preparing them for days, and I ended up revealing more things than I had planned to do at first, including my biggest doubt. She listened attentively, nodding with small articulations as I shared my concerns.

"If I'm in a relationship, and I wanted to punch Diana's father when I found out they didn't celebrate her birthday, it's for a reason, right?"

"Is that what's bothering you?" the blonde wanted to know. "Do you think I didn't already know?"

I tensed up at what I suspected. Sometimes I was worried about how much Britta knew me.

"I know you've been thinking a lot about her, Seb," she revealed, "just as I know that's exactly what's been going through your head for longer than you'd like."

Yes, since the Saturday before the race in Monza, when I accidentally fell asleep in Di's bed.

"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing," I finally confessed. "I don't know if this is fair to Hanna."

"Before you're honest with her, you have to be honest with yourself. You can't pretend to have feelings you don't have, and if that's what's making you doubt, you need to clear your mind, slowly, but surely."

She was right, but saying it was easier than doing it. Nor could I afford to think about my love life in the middle of a Formula 1 season that, let's face it, was going pretty well for me.

"Di is different, and I won't deny that I'm attracted to her," I continued to explain, praying that she wouldn't judge my feelings, "but it's in a totally different way than Hanna."

"How so different?" Roeske asked curiously. "Different in what way, Seb?"

"In every way," I replied with determination. "It's as if at the same time they're the same, but at the same time, so different... She's not Hanna, Britta."

A muffled scream on the other end of the phone made me tense up in my seat. At the same time, I began to hear more noise, but I didn't decide to steer the conversation to find out where Britta was so that such a noise could be heard.

"I mean, Di is unique," I continued, trying to explain myself a little better, "and I can't compare her to anyone else. It's going to sound very selfish, but..."

"Say it," the woman demanded.

"I want to find out if what I feel for her is real.”

If even I was impressed by what I had just said, surely the woman on the other end of the call was too.

"Sebastian Vettel," if Britta Roeske said my full name, it wasn't a good sign, "I need you to listen to this carefully," indeed, she was right. "Sometimes, in life, we have to take risks to find out what we want and, moreover, what’s actually made for us."

"What do you mean?"

"That you should be honest and, especially, be careful with your feelings and those of the people you love, or say you love," she added. "If you think what you feel for Diana is more than just a whim, you really love her, and you think that the right thing to do is to fight for her, do it without fear."

If only the answer were easier than a simple yes or a simple no…

I hadn't even hung up on Roeske and I was already in a whirlwind of emotions, fighting with myself about my feelings. There was no doubt that, as much as Britta's words kept swirling in my mind, there was no better advice than one's own.

I didn't want to hurt anyone, and I was afraid of losing people who had become a fundamental pillar in my life over a simple slip-up that would eventually turn into a mistake.

Perhaps, for the sake of the mental health of more than one person, it was best to ignore how much, more and more, I cared about Diana Wagner, and settle for the love I believed was meant for me.

[idlerin]

YOU'VE GOT A HOLD OF ME

guitarist!suna rintarou x assistant!f!reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | extra

the ikarus incident (band au)

+ word count: 1.3k

being the personal assistant of the lead guitarist of one of the biggest bands in the country was no joke.

SUNA RINTAROU being the lead guitarist of one of the biggest bands in the country was no joke, speaking as said lead guitarist's personal assistant. You’re the one who gets dumped all his fan mails, regular mail, and gets bombarded with endless phone calls. You also manage his social media accounts and make sure he doesn't ruin his reputation, at least not too much (you urge him to get a social media manager, he waves off your idea, saying, “Do I need to? You’re managing it well enough”, some days you just want to strangle him).

As of now, you were residing in a hotel– in one of the big fancy rooms reserved for the acts at the band's next performance at this music festival, recounting to him his schedule for the evening, "Right after this we have a meeting with the manager,” you read off of your planner and glance at Suna whose face turned sour, directing his glare on you, “Don’t look at me like that, it's a meeting with the whole band."

Suna Rintarou did not rest the glare.

You glance at your watch to check the time, "You still have over an hour till you're going to the site. During this time, I suggest messaging your sister and asking her how she’s doing. She's been reaching out to me saying you won’t answer her calls and that she is worried about your well being.”

Suna scoffs, “And you believe her?” his sister wasn’t really one of his favorite people since… ever, nor was she yours, from the three times you’ve interacted with her.

“Of course not, but I’d rather she stop bothering me,” you shrug, flipping your notebook to check Suna’s schedule for the following week.

Which included an advertisement shoot and a recording session with the band for their upcoming album. It wasn’t as packed as the other days, which meant you could go home early (you were excited, it’s criminal how you’re excited). Maybe go grocery shopping, you were running low on food in your apartment, which reminded you to check Suna’s refrigerator, it was most probably also empty. You don’t get paid enough for this.

"It still wows me how efficient you are, [name], more importantly, it amazes me how you’ve dealt with Suna’s awful personality for over a year now! No assistant has ever lasted him even 8 months, where the hell did he find you?" Miya Atsumu, the drummer, chitchats as he leaned back on the couch while someone was putting on his makeup.

“Says the one whose last assistant left the country,” Suna retorts, not even looking at Atsumu, just scrolling through his phone.

“That was years ago! And I let Yumi go abroad because she had better opportunities there. I am assistantless of my own free will! So, where did you meet [name]? You guys never told us,” Atsumu counters.

Both you and Suna ignore him as you go over your personal checklist and Suna just couldn’t find it in him to care enough to reply.

“It’s such a great conversation we’re having,” Atsumu says sarcastically, “Can you believe them? They’re both so rude,” He says to the person touching up his make-up.

“What’s happening?” Akaashi Keiji, the lead vocalist, who was talking with the other staff just a few moments earlier, joined in on the conversation, “And where’s Sakusa?” pertaining to the bassist, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

“He’s running late, says he got caught up in a family emergency, but he’ll be here in 10 minutes. Rika texted me just now,” you answer, Sakusa Rika was Sakusa’s PA and cousin.

“I’m really reconsidering getting a new PA, what do you guys think?” Atsumu interrupts once again. “How do you guys even recommend finding one, like seriously, I just found Yumi because my brother recommended her to me but I want to take a different approach this time.”

You get a flashback to the first time you met Suna, you were running late to a meet up with your parents, just got out of your shift at a local coffee shop, a coffee in hand and clutching a bunch of papers to your chest. Wasn’t really one of the brightest things you’ve ever done. The next thing you knew, you were crashing into a body and spilling your hot coffee on a total stranger. Then instead of getting furious the stranger says, “Hm, I have a job offer for you.”

Like a total nutjob!

“Huh?” you were dumbfounded (for clearly obvious reasons), you just spilled coffee on a stranger and he was talking about jobs. All sorts of crazy in the streets these days.

“I need a personal assistant. My name’s Suna Rintarou,” then he gives you a card and he walks away with a single wave goodbye. It took one look at the name on his card and one google search to find out you ran into one of the most famous figures in the country. Said celebrity was walking in the streets? Alone? You didn’t actually think the cap and sunglasses disguise worked in real life.

“I spotted [name] on the streets, I guess I got lucky,” Suna finally answers, standing from his seat to test his guitar out– like he wasn’t just playing hiring-the-first-person-he-sees back then. You need to tighten his security. 

You shake your head as you close your notebook and clutch it to your chest. He did somehow get lucky that he bumped into you out of all the people out there in the world, you were great at your job after all. You don’t know why you didn’t immediately put him in the weirdo category the first time you met him and just threw away his business card. You’re a little glad your curiosity got the best of you. It helps that he pays really well.

"That easy? Can you give her to me then? manage my life instead, [name]," Atsumu jokes and winks at you as your lips quirked up to an almost smile.

"Fuck off and find your own PA," Suna gives him the middle finger, "[name] tell him to fuck off."

"Don’t be childish,” you scold, “Also, it depends, how much are you willing to pay me?” you play in on the joke. Suna Rintarou was not amused.

“How much does Suna pay you?” Atsumu smirks, you guess he found it amusing to play around instead of preparing for the show.

You shrug in replace of a proper answer. In all honesty, being Suna’s PA wasn’t that bad. The salary was good. You’ve already established a comfortable dynamic with Suna. You actually liked working for him, even if he is so much more work than the job description said, and it took you months to learn his habits and likes and dislikes. He frustrates you a lot too. Despite this, as much as you’d hate to admit it, you have a soft spot for him.

“Sorry for being late,” Sakusa walks in and straight to a seat where people immediately assist him.

“It’s fine, we still have an hour,” Akaashi calmly says while working on his lyric book.

You take a glance at Suna who is now silently tuning his guitar, you walk towards him and stand beside the couch he’s sitting on. Watching his slender fingers slide on one of his beautiful guitars (that’s probably worth millions).

“What are you doing here? You should go to your new employer,” Suna nudged his head to Atsumu’s direction who forgot about the earlier conversation and was now flirting with one of the newly hired staff. These poor girls, you need to figure out a way to warn them next time.

You roll your eyes at Suna, “I know you’re not actually upset.”

He stops fiddling around with the guitar and looks up at you, “Yeah, cause I know you’d never replace me with someone as unbearable as ‘tsumu.”

“Like you’re not as equally unbearable?” you raise a brow at him.

“The difference is, you like me too much, [name]” you feel as if a vein popped on your forehead, here comes the frustrating part, he was so cocky!

“And you’re so sure of that Rin, how?” you scowl at him.

“Well, for one, you’ve stuck with me for almost 2 years now and you haven’t completely lost your mind yet,” he gave you a little smile and at that moment he was almost cute. Just almost. He still has that cocky look in his eyes that made him unbelievably irritating.

“I’m glad you’re self aware,” you also smile a little at him. You caught his eyes and let yourself get lost in them a little bit.

Then you snap out of it.

You clear your throat, “I-I’ll go talk to your manager,” you turn around and quickly walk to the door to get out.

You remind yourself to build up more boundaries.

notes — no this is not connected to rings that dont fit sakusa rlly just had a fam issue.. and yes the band members r kinda random but i think they’d fit well together ehe hope you guys would enjoy this im making it three parts! (and i said it would be a quick fic 🤡)

also, i keep alternating between making the paragraphs start with a capital letter and a small letter (purely for aesthetic purposes) right now ive settled w capital letter first for fics and small letters for stuff like scenarios but it looks so inconsistent! what do u guys think

[collapsedglasshouses]

WOULD YOU SAY I'M WORTHY? || TWO

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x OFC ; slight Nick Folio x OFC

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @saradika-graphics

SUMMARY: When Eden meets Noah, her life is anything but perfect. Her heart is far more broken than Noah can even guess at this point. Will he be able to mend the wounds he hadn’t caused?

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, eventually smut, mentions of grief/loss, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of mental health issues, mentions of illnesses

A/N: OMG. I didn't expect the first part to go that well. Thank you for every comment, like or reblog (especially the rebloggers, ily with all my heart)! im sorry it took me so long to upload part two, i had a lot to do irl. but here it is! i hope you like it!

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @lma1986 @missduffsblog @cookiesupplier @thescarlettvvitch @bngurngheart @dream-machine-love @arkiliastuff @vinyardmauro @lacktoesandtoddlerants @princessmarshmallowx @circle-with-me @thisbicc @xxkittenkissesxx @malerieee @smoke-in-diamond-shape (pls dont be mad if i missed someone, just remind me, im clumsy sometimes)

If you wanna be added to the story's taglist or to my taglist in general, leave a comment or message me privately!

MASTERPOST || MASTERLIST

Eden had been staring at her phone for forty minutes straight.

After waking up, her thoughts had been running constantly. She didn’t have a costume, she wasn’t in the mood to go out, she had just turned 26. All she had done since waking up an hour ago was shower and brushing her teeth. She stood in her kitchen, still wrapped in her towel and her wet, unbrushed hair just dangled over her shoulders.

She knew she was overreacting, but everything reminded her of the things she desperately wanted to suppress.

She had been staring at Nick’s messages from the previous night with a weird feeling in her stomach. She didn’t even know what brought her to the point of agreeing to go to a party. A birthday party of a man she didn’t know, while she also tried to suppress the thoughts about her own age.

She was snapped out of her thoughts, when her phone began to ring. Her sister.

Should she answer?

She continued to stare at her phone.

The call went away.

Thank god.

She blinked for a couple of seconds, while she felt her heart beating so fast that she actually thought for a second, she was going to have a heart attack.

Then her phone rang again. Her sister again. She bit her lip for a second, before she sighed. She knew, she couldn’t ignore all the calls for the whole day, so she grabbed her phone and answered with a simple “Hello.”

“Took you some time.” Her sister answered and Eden could picture the sweet smile plastered on her sister’s face. Her little sister Raven was four years younger than her. At first, her parents hadn’t really planned on having another child, but when her mom fell pregnant with Raven, they were all over the moon. Eden couldn’t remember most of the time before Raven was born, but she remembered vividly how excited they all were when she finally was here.

She always had been the complete opposite of her older sister. While Eden was rather quiet and liked to be alone, Raven enjoyed the company of each and every individual around her. Raven liked to speak; Eden hated it. Raven was great at school; Eden wasn’t.

Even though they were basically polar opposites of each other, Eden loved her dearly and they always got along. But things had changed after Eden moved away from their hometown. She found herself not liking the company of anyone anymore. She knew it hurt Raven, but at the same time she felt like Raven was the only one that understood her and her decisions.

“Sorry, I was showering.” Eden quietly answered her little sister.

For a couple of seconds, it was rather quiet. It seemed like Raven tried to find the right words.

“I know, you hate it, but I wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday.” Raven began. “Mom told me to wish you all the best from them too, but they didn't want to bother you any longer than necessary.”

Eden swallowed. She knew she had been a pain in the ass the last couple of months, but she didn’t realize she had driven her parents to the point of not even wanting to call her.

She tried to swallow her doubts, before mumbling a response. “Thank you. I’m sorry for being so quiet.”

“Oh… Don’t worry, Eden. We love you.” Raven answered her quickly and tried to sound as happy as possible, but Eden heard the worry in her voice.

“I’m going to a party today.” Eden than exclaimed, to calm her sister’s nerves and seemingly it worked.

“Are you for real?” Raven exclaimed excitedly. “Yes, I am.” – “Where? Who? I-…?”

Eden laughed quietly. She really missed her sister. She really did.

“A friend of mine invited me to the birthday party of his friend.” Eden answered her sister with a small smile on her face.

“A friend or a friend?” Raven then wanted to know. Eden knew for a fact that Raven was wiggling her eyebrows while asking that question.

“A friend.” Eden rolled her eyes. She knew this was coming.

“Sorry, I was just asking.” – “You know, it wouldn’t be this way before you even asked, Raven.”

“Yes, I know. I just wanted to make a joke… I’m sorry.” Raven apologized.

After that, it was quiet again.

“Please don’t be mad at me, Eden.” – “I’m not, Raven. Don’t worry.” – “It was really insensitive of me… Considering, you're not-…” – “It’s really okay, Raven.”

It was quiet again. Eden wanted to cry because of the awkwardness.

“I… You know… Imma... I need to go.” Raven then said and Eden’s heart hurt. This was exactly how she didn’t want this to go.

“Okay. See ya.” Eden then answered and soon the call ended.

Eden felt bad. Everything felt bad. She just wanted to curl into a ball on her couch and never move again.

She looked at the clock and realized, she needed to head out sooner than later, to find a costume, if she wanted to be on time for the party. So, she sighed and got ready. Before she went out, she ate a bowl of cereal and then grabbed her keys.

While she was walking to her car, she covered her head with her hand. It had started to rain like crazy.

Right as she reached her car, her phone buzzed. It was Nick.

Nick: Just wanted to see if you would come tonight… Nick: I mean, since you didn’t answer yesterday…

Eden starred at her phone for a second, before she answered.

Eden: was about to head out to get a costume

She thought for a second, before she texted again.

Eden: maybe you wanna join me?

Nick instantly answered.

Nick: send me the location and ill be there

Eden sat in her car, nervously biting her fingernails as she waited for Nick to arrive. The Halloween store's neon sign flickered above her, casting a somewhat spooky glow on the damp pavement. She glanced at her phone and saw a text from Nick, confirming his arrival.

Nick: two minutes…

She took a deep breath and stepped out of her car, feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety. The rain had stopped, leaving a crisp chill in the air.

As she entered the store, the scent of latex and plastic immediately crept up into her nose. Rows of costumes, masks, and accessories sat in front of her, ready to be explored. Eden wandered through the aisles, unsure of where to start. Her eyes scanned the racks of costumes, ranging from spooky to silly. She felt totally overwhelmed.

It had been a while since she last dressed up for Halloween. To be exact, it had been about ten years. She also didn’t quite remember what happened on said Halloween, since she had been more than drunk. The only thing she vividly remembered was how she puked her brains out that night.

Before she could think about it any longer, she heard someone enter the store and was soon met with Nick’s broad smile that was almost contagious to her.

"Eden! Happy Birthday!" he exclaimed and hugged the girl for short second while she started to blush like crazy, his enthusiasm echoing through the store. “Ready to find the perfect costume?”

She nodded, trying to match his energy. "Not really, but let’s do it anyways."

For the next hour, they searched through various options. Eden couldn't decide whether to go for classic monsters or popular characters from movies and TV shows. Nick showed Eden some funny and silly options, making her laugh at his playful behavior.

"How about a giant banana?" Nick suggested, holding up a bright yellow costume.

Eden shook her head, grinning. "I don't think so. I prefer my fruits less... inflatable."

Nick laughed with his full heart, before going on with his search.

Right as Eden set her eyes on a black lacy corset dress, she felt Nick’s presence close to her and jumped when she saw him with a ghost face mask on his face.

“What’s your favorite horror movie, Eden?” Nick asked with a deep tone in his voice, while Eden held her chest. Her heart was beating fast.

“Don’t scare me, Nick!” She shouted and shoved him away from her with a small smile on her face. Nick pulled the mask off while still giggling his ass off.

"How about Ghostface from Scream?" Nick suggested, holding up the iconic white ghostly mask.

Eden's eyes lit up with intrigue. "Actually, that's a great idea, Nick. It's simple, yet mysterious. Let's go for it."

“As mysterious as you.” Nick answered while handing the mask to her. Eden smiled a little to herself, not knowing how to answer him, so she just decided to ignore it.

Eden’s eyes traveled back to the black lacy corset dress in front of her and she decided to spice her costume up a bit. If she was going to have fun for once, she was going to do it right.

“Will you try it on?” Nick asked with a spark of curiosity in his eyes. Eden felt how her cheeks heated up at his expression.

“What if I wanted to surprise you?” She answered him boldly and her mind instantly started to race at her sudden change in demeanor. She didn’t even know why she acted that way.

Nick smiled at her cheekily, before they started to add the last touches to her costume. A pair of fishnet tights, some black gloves and a fake knife. Eden decided she was going to wear her old thigh high boots with it.

As they approached the checkout counter, Eden felt a mix of excitement and amusement. She surprisingly was pretty happy about her choice, and even more, she enjoyed the process with Nick.

Exiting the store, they headed back to their cars with bags in hand. Eden couldn't help but smile at Nick's infectious energy.

"Thanks for helping me pick something out," she said shyly but genuinely grateful.

Nick grinned. "Anytime, Eden. Now, let's make sure you turn heads and give everyone a good scare tonight!"

As they parted ways with a hug to get ready for the evening, Eden felt somewhat excited for the upcoming party, grateful for Nick's help in what she thought would be a complete disaster.

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart- Chapter 5

Pairing- Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 5,709

Warnings- Some language. Jensen isn't the best boyfriend. I warned before this started posting it would contain angst, if you need another reminder, here it is. If I missed something let me know!

A/N-You all knew this part was coming sooner or later, some of you even called for it. Starting with this chapter, we'll start to see things from Jensen's side also. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Jensen takes the rare opportunity to sleep in Sunday morning and is the last one down to breakfast.  His sister and her husband Jeremy have already arrived and are sitting at the table with his parents.

“Did someone have a late night?” Mackenzie teases him.

“Not too bad.  Just taking advantage of catching up on some sleep,” he answers with a yawn.

“What did you and Y/N do yesterday?” his mom asks him.

“I didn’t see her yesterday.  I was meeting with Steve, and we had a few people to go see.  Trying to work out deals for a project.”

“What did she do then?” his mom tries again.

“Not a clue, I didn’t talk to her yesterday.  I was kind of busy.  Why the sudden interest in her day?”

He is filling his coffee cup and doesn’t see the looks exchanged around the table.

“Is everything alright with you two?” His dad questions.

“It’s fine.”

“Yeah, sounds like it,” he doesn’t hear his sister mutter.

Josh and his family arrive after breakfast, while Jensen is upstairs showering.  He misses the kids and his brother coming in to wish his dad a ‘Happy Father’s Day.’  When Jensen comes back down everyone is sitting in the living room with the kids playing in the middle of the floor.  He takes his phone out to take a picture of his nephews and notices a missed text from Gen, making a note to read it later, he snaps a few shots of the boys.

His family asks him questions about work, and what he has been up to.  He inquires about each of them.  They grill out for a late lunch before he has to leave for the airport.  His mom walks out to the rental car with him.

“You’re sure everything is alright?  You aren’t hiding something so we won’t worry?”

“No, it’s all fine mom.”

“Even with Y/N?”

“Yeah. I do have to get going to catch my flight.  It was good to see all of you.”

“I’m glad you could make it home, even for a short visit.  Your dad enjoyed seeing all of you for Father’s Day.”

He’s double checking his suitcase for his passport and not really listening to his mom at the moment, “Yeah, sure I’ll try and make it home then.”

“What?” Donna asks.

Finding his passport, Jensen stands to give his mom one last hug.  “Good to see all of you.  Take care, love you ma.”

While sitting on the plane waiting for the rest of the passengers to load, Jensen takes out his phone and lazily scrolls through it.  He remembers the message he missed from Gen early and opens that conversation, checking the date, he sees it is actually from yesterday.

‘Did you forget something today Ackles?????????????’

“I don’t know Gen, did I forget something?” he mutters to himself, while just replying with question marks of his own.

 Next he pulls up Instagram, it takes him a moment to realize he is seeing multiple posts about Father’s Day.

‘It’s not Father’s Day,’ he thinks to himself, ‘that’s not until the middle of June.”

There is a voice over the intercom telling all passengers to turn off electronics before Jensen has a chance to think more about the holiday or the date.  He goes over the next script for ‘The Boys’ and notes from the meetings with Steve the day before, never giving the date another thought. 

Your Sunday is spent with your parents and Jared’s family.  You and Gen get up to make a big breakfast for everyone.  Tom has homemade cards for his dad and grandpa he places on the table.  Your mom comes down, and helps the two of you finish it all up.

Jared and your dad take Tom out to the park for some male bonding time after breakfast.  Gen, your mom and yourself move to the living room.

 While they are talking babies you excuse yourself to go for a walk.  You are hoping it will help all the thoughts running around your head.  You pass Jensen’s house and pause.  You can’t help but think that he has already started to move on without you.  You’re the one who just hasn’t caught up with the times yet.

On Monday, Jared and Gen have meetings for Walker, so you are hanging out with Tom.   You are used to working twelve to fourteen hour days on set, but somehow this little man wears you out more than those do.  The two of you play outside on the swing set, he has you chase him during a long game of tag, you’re in the pool and back inside rolling toy cars around on the floor.  When your sister-in-law returns you happily hand your nephew back.

Jensen is on set Tuesday, when Jack is talking to some of the other cast members about his parents’ visit over the weekend.  

“They haven’t been to Toronto in awhile and decided to use visiting for Father’s Day as an excuse to come up this weekend.”

“If they were coming for Father’s Day, why did they come this past weekend?” Jensen asks him.

A few people turn and look at him. “Father’s Day was this past weekend,” Chase tells him.

“No, it wasn’t, it couldn’t have been.”

Others are also confirming this.  Jensen doesn’t have his phone with him, or his watch on.  

“What’s the date?” he asks his cast mates.

“21st of June.  Everything all right mate?” Karl asks sitting across the board from him.

“Son of a bitch,” Jensen yells out, “I missed Y/N’s birthday.  It was the 18th.”

He gets up from his chair to head to his trailer where his phone is to call you, but is called to set before he has the chance to get very far.  It’s after 2 am before they wrap for the night, he’s beat just going straight home and falling asleep.

He forgot to set his alarm before collapsing in bed, when he rolls over Wednesday morning and looks at the clock he has to move it.   He has maybe ten minutes before he needs to be leaving the apartment for set.  

Once he arrives he is sent straight to hair and makeup before being ushered to wardrobe.  His PA takes his bag back to his trailer for him.  When they break for lunch he is in the middle of a discussion with Karl and Anthony that completely distracts him.  He makes a quick stop by his trailer before he has to be back on set.  Pulling his phone out of his bag he sees a missed call from you.

“Son of a bitch, I still haven’t talked to her,” he growls out.  He tries calling back, but just reaches your voicemail. He hangs up and throws his phone back in the bag before returning to set.

Wednesday, you finally relent and call Jensen. He never has time to talk long so you make the call on your way to the studio to redo some voice over work for the Netflix show that just wrapped. You shouldn’t be surprised that it ends up going straight to voicemail.  The plane ticket you received for your birthday is to fly out Friday morning, you figure you should probably tell Jensen you are coming up.  Who knows, maybe just showing up would actually get you some time with him.  Leaving your phone in the car you walk into the studio.

Coming back to your car two hours later, you check your phone for messages before leaving the parking lot.  You have to reread the name when you see you have a missed call from Jensen, it’s rare he calls you back this quick lately or even at all.  Hitting the call button you once again get his voicemail, this time you leave a message.

“Hey Jay, I just wanted to tell you Jared and Gen got me a ticket to fly up to Toronto.  I’ll be landing around 2:30 Friday afternoon.  I’ll talk to you later, have a good day.”

Getting back to your brother’s place you are busy the rest of the night.  The two of them went out with a friend of Gen’s and you volunteered to watch Tom.  The little man has a lot of energy to burn tonight.  When you finally get him down, you start going through clothes in your room to take with you this weekend.

In Toronto, Jensen has finally wrapped for the night.  Today’s scenes were a bit…well, what one would come to expect from The Boys.  There is a knock on his trailer door as he’s finishing changing out of his costume.  Chase and Jack are on the other side.

“Hey, we’re going out with Karl for a drink after that mess.  You in?”

“Definitely, let me grab my bag,” he tells them.

One drink turns into a couple and they are out for a few hours.   In the cab on the way back to his place, Jensen pulls out his phone to check his call time for the next day.  Seeing a voicemail message, he tells himself he’ll listen to it tomorrow when he’s in better shape.  Clearing the notification he checks his calendar before turning off the phone. 

Thursday has a noon call time, and sees them filming until two in the morning on location.  It was almost four am before he got to bed.  Walking up after ten the next morning he has a new voicemail notification.  He listens to the call from the director on a schedule change for the weekend.  Because Eric is going to be in town for a few days and they want the big man on set for the shooting of certain scenes, they are going to be moved up to this weekend. 

Then his phone tells him he has a missed message. “Who'd I miss?” he mumbles to himself.  When he hears your message, his eyes go wide in surprise, “crap.”

Just as he’s hanging up from the voicemail, the phone rings with your name popping up.

“Hey pretty girl,”

“Hi Jay, how are you?”

“Fine, tired.  I just got your message.  Are you sure you really want to?”

He hears the tired sigh you let out, “I’m at the airport, waiting for the plane.  If you don’t want me to come up there, tell me now.”

“I don’t know how much time I’ll have to spend with you.”

“We aren’t spending any time together currently, whatever I can get this weekend is better than that.”  You just hear him groan over the line.  “If you want me to call Jared to come pick me back up I will.”

“No.  When do you get in?”

“The plane’s scheduled to land around 2:40, then I have to clear customs.”

“I have to be on set, I’m not going to be able to meet you.”

“Okay, I can take a cab over to the studio.”

“No, just come back to the apartment. I’ll leave a spare key in an envelope with the receptionist,” he tells you.

“Okay.  See you soon. Love you.”

“Yeah, love ya.”

His head falls back against the pillow as he hangs up.  His easy weekend is now going to be a bit more complicated. 

At the airport in Austin, you sit back against the hard seat with a sigh.  This was off to a rocky start and the plane hasn’t even boarded yet.  Thankfully the flight itself was an easy one.  After making your way through customs you exit the building to try and find a cab.  

When you arrive at his apartment building, you need to show your ID in order to pick up the envelope he left with the key.  The doorman shows you up, at least Jensen remembered to tell him you were coming before he left.  

Opening the apartment door, you take a look around.  It’s fairly empty, but you shouldn’t be surprised.  Jensen is only going to have this place a few months. You take your suitcase down the hall, you think this is the way to the bedroom.  It’s the second door you try.  There is a photo of you and Jensen on his nightstand, it gives you some hope seeing it there. Taking a few things out of your bag, you then explore the apartment.  It’s a little bit of a mess, so you spend some time tidying it up.  The fridge is empty, so you go down to inquire about the nearest grocery store.  It isn’t too far away, so you decide to walk over.  With your hands full, you take a cab back to the apartment.

There are a few items to put away in the cupboard, you make a few meals to freeze that Jensen can thaw later, then prepare pasta, salad and bread for dinner.  All this time you haven’t heard a word from Jay, not even checking that you made it in alright. You send a text asking if he knows how late he’ll be working, but don’t receive a response. 

By eight, you fix yourself a plate for dinner and eat alone at the table. Putting the rest away, you curl up on the couch, and find a movie on Netflix.  It’s after eleven when the door opens and Jensen finally comes in.  Getting up from the couch, you go over to greet him.

“Hey honey,” you say before leaning up to kiss him.

“Hi babe.” He gives you a quick kiss before pulling away. “I need a shower.”

He rejoins you in the living room ten minutes later, sitting next to you on the couch.  

“There’s some pasta in the fridge, if you would like me to heat some up for you?”

“I’m good, we ate on set.”

“Okay.  Do you have anything going on tomorrow?”

“I’ve got a 10 am call time.  Should go till 8 or so.”

You just nod in response. It’s been awhile since you’ve had his arm wrapped around you, and you are just going to enjoy that for now.  The movie on the screen ends and you suggest going to bed hoping to feel more than his arm around your shoulders tonight.

You come out of the bathroom ready for bed in a new lace chemise, and find your boyfriend sound asleep.  Grabbing one of his old t-shirts from your bag, you turn around to go back to change.

The next morning Jensen is up before you are.  You find him out at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee and what looks like a script.

“Morning, do you want breakfast before you leave?”

“No, I already had something. But thanks.”

“Can I come to set with you today? Hang out in between scenes with you?”

“No, they don’t like other people on set.  Don’t want any secrets getting out.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I guess I’ll go explore the city then.  Text me when you’re done, we can maybe grab a late dinner somewhere?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Do you film tomorrow?”

“No, it’s just going over some choreography for fight scenes on Tuesday.”

“So it should be a shorter day?”

“Hopefully.  Chase, Karl and I have a tee time at 2.”

“Great.”  You’re only here for a few days, but getting a round of golf in takes precedence apparently.

Once Jensen leaves for work you pull out your phone to find something to entertain yourself with today.   You decide to start the day at Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada.  

The tour of the aquarium takes you first to the Dangerous Lagoon overlook.  There you see sharks, turtles, eels and sawfish.  A sign says it is the largest exhibit at the aquarium, and has around 2.9 million liters of water.  From there you enter the Discovery Center which has interactive exhibits and features Zebra and Blacktip Reef Sharks along with Clownfish.  The Canadian Waters and Kelp Forest are next where you see octopus, lobsters, Cod, Wolf Eel, and Paddlefish.  

On the lower level of the aquarium you see the Rainbow Reef which recreates the coral seas of the Pacific.  Planet Jellies has various breeds of jellyfish. The Ray-Bay is home to five types of stingrays and the Bonnethead Shark.  A sign says that back on the main level you can pet the rays at the top of the tank. 

Back up top, you stroll through the gallery area next.  This is home to Electric Eels, Seahorses, Piranhas, Pufferfish and Mudskippers.  A quick tour of the gift shop and you are on your way out.

The aquarium is right near the base of the CN Tower.  Being so close, you couldn’t pass that up. The tower was completed in 1976 and stands 1,815.5 feet tall.

Getting off the elevators at the observation level you are currently 1,136 feet off the ground. The glass floor lets you look to the ground 114 stories below.  You go up to the Skypod which is 33 stories above the main observation level.  It is the highest observation platform in the Western Hemisphere.  You can see all the way to New York and Niagara Falls from here. You can also feel the building swaying a lot more up here. You hear a guide mention the antenna above the Skypods gets hit by lightning an average of 75 times a year.  The mix of the swaying and lightning are enough to send you back down to ground level.

You grab a light lunch and walk over to High Park to sit and enjoy it.  Finishing your lunch you take a walk down one of the nature trails.  Walking alone your thoughts drift to Jensen.  Once again today, you haven’t heard from him at all.  You are right here in his town and he can’t seem to spare you any time.

That afternoon you end up strolling through the CF Toronto Eaton Centre Mall.  It is a huge shopping center with more than 250 stores.  In your current mood nothing there really grabs your attention.  

By seven you are on your way back to Jensen’s apartment to get cleaned up to have dinner with him.   At 8:30 you send a text asking if he was going to be getting off soon. Almost an hour later, you receive a reply.

Jensen 💗-On my way back

You-Do you still want to go out and grab dinner?

Jensen💗-No

Alrighty then.  You pull leftovers out of the fridge and start warming them up for dinner.  When he walks in, you just about have everything ready to go.

“Hey honey, if you want to shower first, dinner is almost ready.”

“I already ate.”

“What?”

“It was a rough shoot, I went out and grabbed a drink with Karl, Jack and Anthony.  We ordered some food there.”

He heads off to the bathroom, and you just stare after him.  “Well thanks for telling me,” you mutter after him.

No longer hungry you put everything away once more.  Entering the bedroom you change into sweats and sit down on the corner of the couch.  It isn’t long until Jensen returns, he collapses in the middle of the couch.

“What a day.  Anything Kripke was unable to throw at us during Supernatural is sure finding its way out now.”

“Hmm.”

“This season is going to be so sick.”

You don’t respond, just keep your eyes straight ahead on the television.

“What’s your problem?” He turns his head to look at you.

“What’s going on with us?” you ask.

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like I don’t matter to you any more.  We rarely talk anymore.”

“We’re talking right now, or I was trying to but you’re ignoring me.”

“I thought we were going to do something tonight, but you went out with your friends while I was waiting for you.  You could have at least let me know what was going on.”

“It’s been a long couple of days, I don’t want to fight with you.  I’m going to bed.”

You watch him leave, biting your lip, you rest your head back against the couch trying not to cry.  That did not go the way you wanted it to at all. Going into the extra bedroom you grab a folded blanket off the unmade bed, and bring it back to the couch, planning on sleeping there tonight.  The television keeps you company, while your mind replays everything.  

The next morning, the sound of cupboard doors slamming around wakes you up.  Stretching as you sit up, you notice Jensen moving around the kitchen.  He looks over at you when he sees you move, but doesn’t say anything. He leaves a short time later. 

You don’t feel like doing much of anything today.  You hang out around the apartment watching Hallmark.  Why does everything always work out for them?

Around four, you get a text from Jensen that says he has something with the cast.  Another night alone, fabulous.  Why did you even bother coming?  Changing into presentable clothes you head out to find some food, getting into the elevator you are shocked at who you see.

“Eric, hi.”

“Y/N, how are you?  I wasn’t sure if you were in town or not this weekend.”

“Yeah, I just got in on Friday, staying a few days.  Doing alright, how are you?

“Good, are you coming to dinner?”

“What?”

“A bunch of the crew is going for dinner.  Aren’t you going to meet Ackles? I’ll give you a lift.”

His phone rings and you don’t get a chance to reply.  Getting off the elevator you follow him outside, planning to still go off on your own.  When the car pulls up, he waves you inside.  His phone call lasts almost the whole way to the restaurant, even though he keeps attempting to end it.  He is finally able to put it down just before the car pulls into the parking lot.

“Sorry about that.  Everything is a huge problem to some of the network execs.  Talking with Jared, I thought you were going to be here this weekend, but then I never saw you around set with Jensen.”

“He told me I couldn’t come with him.  Are you sure I can be here tonight?  Jensen didn’t invite me.”

“I would have let you on set, no problem. Yes, you are more than welcome to join us tonight.  Have you met anyone yet?”

“Just Karl.”

You follow him through the restaurant, when he arrives at the large table he calls out, “look who I found on my way here.”

Your eyes are on Jensen who has Claudia’s arm around his shoulders as she is whispering in his ear.

“Hey!” Karl yells, “where have you been hiding?”

He gets up to give you a hug, Jensen gives you a questioning look, while everyone else just stares.  Eric looks around the table and asks a passing waiter for one more place setting and chair.

“I’ve been hanging out around the apartment, explored Toronto yesterday,” you finally answer Karl’s question.

“So you come all the way up here, and don’t even visit the set?  Should we be hurt?” Karl’s last question is directed at Kripke.

“What are you doing here?” Jensen interrupts them.

“Are you going to introduce us, Eric?” Anthony questions at the same time.

“I ran into Eric in the elevator, and he invited me to come along,” you answer Jensen.

“Why didn’t you bring her?” Eric asks your boyfriend, who just shrugs in response.

“Some of us still don’t know what’s going on,” Jack calls out.

“This is Y/N Padalecki, this lovely lady was Ali Black on Supernatural,” Eric introduces you.

“She also has horrible taste in men, because she’s dating that brute,” Karl tells them as he points to Jensen.

Anthony, Karen, Jack, Erin and Chase all stand up to greet you.  A chair is added next to Jensen as everyone but Claudia scoots down to make room for you.  

After the group has ordered, Karl looks at you from across the table.  “How long are you here for?”

“I have a flight out tomorrow afternoon.”

“We have some fight sequences to finalize in the mornin’, are you coming to tour the set?” He asks. 

“I don’t know,” you look over at Jensen, who has remained silent.

As time goes on you notice that Claudia seems to keep touching Jensen, her hand is on her arm, his thigh, and shoulder.  ‘Really girl’ you think ‘right in front of me?’

Erin asks about what you have going on now with Supernatural over.  You tell her about Walker.  Jensen seems agitated next to you, you finally turn and ask if he’s alright.  Instead of answering he stands up and nods for you to join him out in the hall.

“I can’t believe you got Eric to bring you along,” Jensen harshly whispers to you.

“It wasn’t my intention, I just ran into him when I got in the elevator.”

“I don’t understand what your problem is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The attitude you had last night, sleeping on the couch,  now putting yourself in the middle of a cast get together.  What are you trying to do?”

“When did you become such an asshole? Maybe playing Soldier Boy has gone to your head. If you don’t want me here, and it’s such a big deal to have me here, I’ll leave.”

With that you turn back toward the room to grab your purse.  You expect Jensen to stop you, but he never does. The waiter is coming back in and you quietly ask him to cancel your order.  Before walking out the door, you turn back to the table.

“It was nice meeting you all.  I’m sorry, but I have to be going.  Enjoy the rest of your night.”  With that you turn and leave.

Eric is right behind you, he can’t get your attention so he grabs your arm once you step outside.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just have to go.”

“Y/N, I’ve known you a long time.  I can see you’re upset, and you’re barely holding back tears.”  He looks around for a moment before spotting a bench.  “Come sit down for a minute.”

“I’ll be alright, you should get back inside,” you try to tell him.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

You know he isn’t going to let go, with a sigh you start talking.  “Things with Jensen and I haven’t been going so great lately.  He barely answers my calls or texts.  I don’t know the last time he even called or texted me to start a conversation.  Gen thought it might be good for us if I came up here and we spent some time together.  I’ve still barely seen him.”

You take a deep breath to try and get yourself back under control, but you can’t help the tears sliding down your face.  “I’m afraid our relationship might have run its course, and I don’t mean anything to him any more.  I’m just someone he used to have around because I was convenient.”

“Oh Y/N,  I’m so sorry you are feeling like this.  I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I know you always meant a lot to him,” Eric tries to comfort you.

“Used to. I can’t keep going like this, the last month has been rough.  I tried to talk to him last night and that didn’t go over well.  Now he’s mad that I’m here.  When things were good with us, he would have been the first one up to give me a hug.  He would have been the one introducing me to his new cast mates, not you and Karl.  We would have spent any free time he had together, going for a drink or golfing with the guys wouldn’t have been more important.”

“I’m sorry, you don’t deserve to be treated like that,” Eric says softly.  You can tell he is a bit out of his comfort zone here.

You nod your head, you know what you have to do and your heart is crumbling into pieces.  Turning in your seat you give Eric a hug.  “Thanks for everything Eric.  Will you do me a favor and keep an eye on him for me?”

“Anything for you.  I won’t let him get into too much trouble tonight.”

You bite your lip and wipe the tears off your face, “I don’t just mean tonight.”

It takes Eric a second, but after all you’ve just said, he understands what you mean.  “I will, you take care of yourself.  He gives you a hug before hailing you a cab and returning inside.

You stare out the window during the ride back to the apartment.  When you return you start packing up your things.  After your bag is ready you pull out your phone looking for a flight out.  You aren’t sure you could make any that are leaving tonight, so you change it to one leaving at 6:10 am.  Sitting on the couch you wait for Jensen to return.

Over an hour later he finally walks through the door. You stand up as he sets his keys down on the counter.

“We need to talk,” you tell him. softly

“We do.  What were you thinking trying to insert yourself like that?  I’m still new here, I can’t have you pushing your way in the middle of things, or asking for special tours around set.  What are they going to think?”

“As I told you earlier, I didn’t ask Eric to bring me along, I was going out to find my own dinner and ran into him when I was going to do that.  He told me to come along, and that it was alright.  Karl asked about me taking a tour, I didn’t push for one.”

“I can’t afford to have you rocking the boat here.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I’m done.  I can’t…I can’t do whatever this has become anymore.” You gesture between the two of you.

That catches Jensen’s attention, and he notices your packed bag next to the couch. “What are you talking about?  Where are you going?”

“What I started to try and talk to you about last night.  I don’t know what’s happened to us, but I can’t take it anymore.  I’ve changed my flight to leave earlier.  I feel like I am the only one trying to hold this together anymore.  Right now you’re more worried about making a bad impression on people you’ve worked with for a few months, then about me.  You barely answer when I call or text you.  Any of our limited conversations anymore revolve around you, I doubt you could tell me what I have going on in my life lately.”    

“That’s not true, you’re filming that…um…that…”

“The Netflix series?  Maid, about a single mom fleeing from abuse and trying to make it with her child. We wrapped a few weeks ago.  I told you that in Chicago.”

“You’re getting ready for Walker then.”  

“You’re grasping at straws, Jens.”

“I don’t understand why you want to end things?  What was the point of coming up here?  Was it just to break up?  Did you meet someone else?”

You shake your head, not believing what is coming out of his mouth.  “I came up here to see if there was any way we could save our relationship.  But when spending time with you cast mates, who are here with you everyday, is more important than me who you have barely seen, I have my answer.  If you really need an answer to the last question it’s no.  Honestly, going by all the pictures online, and dinner tonight, I should be the one asking that.  But I know you better than that.  At least I used to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know when I became so unimportant to you,  something that could just be tossed aside when I wasn’t useful.”

He looks at you in shock. “That’s not true and you know it.”  

“I really don’t, not anymore.  With everything going on in your life, there isn’t time for me.  A backseat is okay once in a while, but it’s not a place I’m willing to stay.”

 “What are you talking about?”

“Your career is really taking off, and I can’t keep up with everything.  We don’t even live in the same county anymore.  I just don’t fit in your life anymore, and I deserve better than what I’m getting.”

“Everything I do is for us.”

“You really going with that? After how you treated me this weekend?  How you’ve been treating me the last few months?”

“Any girl would be happy to be in your place.”

“I don’t know when you became this self absorbed asshole, but that’s not the guy I fell in love with, the guy I planned my future with.  I’m sorry Jensen, but I can’t take the hurt and loneliness that have come from this relationship anymore.  I don’t want to cry myself to sleep over us another night, or wonder when you’re going to feel like talking to me again.” 

“After everything I did for us, if you think it’s really so bad to be dating me, then there is no reason to drag this out,” he spits out, his anger rising.  “Make sure to be out of the house before I get back to Texas.”

You give a small shake of your head, “if you knew how things were going with me.  You would know I’ve been staying at my brother’s house because I wasn’t comfortable alone in yours.  I don’t have much left there, it will be out soon.”   

You grab your bag and head for the door, stopping before you open it.  “I did love you, you meant the world to me.  I told Jared no matter what happens between us, I didn’t want it to affect your friendship.  I wish you the best Jens, and I really am happy for you and everything that’s coming your way.  I just wish there was still room for me in your world.”  Taking one last look at your now ex, you quickly exit the apartment.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 6

Tags

SPNForevers- @winchest09 @flamencodiva @whatareyousearchingfordean @waywardbeanie @deanwanddamons  @emoryhemsworth  @atc74 @sandlee44 @akshi8278  @fantasydevil2002 @writercole​ @440mxs-wife   @nervousfandom @lunarmoon8 @thoughts-and-funnies @downanddirtydean @katelyn--renee​ @that-one-gay-girl​ @lyarr24​ @pineapleavocado​ @siospins2​ ​ @ariesbabe1993​  @graciebear73  @stixnstripesworld​ @spnbaby-67​  @treat-winchesterswith-kindness​ @charmed-asylum​ @winchestergirl2​ @hobby27​  @amyzombie1013​  @sexyvixen7​ @leigh70 @krazykelly @nancymcl @candy-coated-misery0731 @kmc1989 @supraveng

WIAFA Masterlist

@woodworthti666 @spnfamily-j2 @stoneyggirl2 @creative-writing92 @kaz11283 @deans-baby-momma  @let-me-luv-you @senjoritanana @itzabbyxx @djs8891 @tmb510

[countrymusiclover]

1 - Professor Reid

Part 2

Detective Stabler’s Daughter

Here's the first chapter and as always if you have anything you'd like to see. I always leave my stories open for suggestions.

“Are you sure you have your pepper spray?” My father Elliot asked me like the tenth question in the car driving me from our house to my college where my younger sister Kathleen was going to be attending this year.

Sending my dad a glance he was panicking far too much about this, especially since it was my senior year there and nothing bad has ever happened. “Dad, please calm down.”

“You know if anything goes wrong, call 911.” He added another point not hearing me.

I sighed, slumping my shoulders. “Dad! It’s my senior year. I will be perfectly fine.”

“I deal with the worst people in the city, honey. I just don’t want something to happen to you when I’m not there to protect you.” He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel waiting for the light to change green.

We finally pulled up in the parking lot outside the building of my first class. We had already moved my stuff in my dorm but my parents also said if I wanted to come home for a while I could. Getting out of the car I went around and hugged my father when he got out of the car. “Don't worry so much. Besides I'll have my sister here to have my back.”

“Y/n. Dad!” We turned our heads seeing my sister running towards us across the parking lot.

I broke the embrace from him, engulfing her in a tight hug. “Kathleen!”

“I've missed you.” I squeezed her tightly back even though we had only been apart a week since she moved in a week earlier being a freshman.

We finally broke our hug turning to face our father. He was standing in front of us simply just staring at us. He was always overprotective of every single one of his children. “You two need to stay in constant contact with each other. If you can’t reach the other, tell me or your mother immediately.”

“We know dad.” I grumbled loving him but this was a tad much.

Kathleen walked up to him, hugging him. “Dad, stop being such a worrier. Y/n and I will be fine without you breathing down our necks.”

“I love you both - uh I better get to work.” His phone vibrated in his pocket when he broke the hug with her. He began walking away from us pointing his index finger at us rounding the corner out of our sights. “Be responsible. Both of you.”

Kathleen and I said in unison, looping arms with each other heading off in the direction of our first class of the school year. “Love you dad.”

My sister and I entered the building seeing that the room was shaped like theater seating that were slightly surrounding the professor desk and large white board. We decided to sit in the second row seating in the middle for the best view, but where we didn't come off as so eager to learn. Reaching inside my backpack I drew out a light green notebook. “So do you have your sights on getting a boyfriend before you leave here?”

“What no.” I whipped my head around at my sisters question.

She huffed. “Why not?”

“Because I have been perfectly happy doing my college years without a boyfriend and I'm quite sure I can finish out my last one without one.” I explained to her sitting some pencils beside my notebook.

My sister clicked her tongue. “That's my goal for you this year. To get you a boyfriend.”

“How about you focus on your studies.” I reminded her.

The rest of the classroom began filling up with people before a different door was opened and closed behind the person who walked in. The guy that I assumed could only be our professor sat down on a satchel on the long desk. “Good afternoon class. My name is Dr. Spencer Reid. You can call me Professor Reid.”

“He’s cute.” I heard one of the girls in front of us.

I picked up my pencil marking notes for myself across the syllabus we had to have printed out before the first day of class and already read over it. “Awe.” Another girl rested her chin in the palm of her hands.

“I assume you all have read the syllabus but if you have any questions feel free to ask.” The professor explained brushing his hands over his clothes. He was wearing a gray shirt underneath a black suit jacket and some brown dress shoes.

Kathleen tapped my shoulder trying to talk to me. “They are right. He is rather cute.”

“Sssh Kath.” I warned her wanting to pay attention instead of gossiping.

“Okay let’s take a moment now to discuss the difference between a trigger and a stressor.” Professor Reid began the lecture for our first day of class. “A trigger is a sensory event experienced by an offender that precipitates subsequent behavior whereas a stressor is a longer term pattern of behavior or circumstances which pushes a person into behaving differently than they normally would.”

Some of the other girls in the class began twirling their hair and giving him the doe eyes, clearly not paying attention to what he was saying. “You’re probably gonna wanna write this down. I shouldn’t be telling you this but I’m definitely putting this on the final.”

“I’m only auditioning this class.” My pencil moved across the page taking down detailed notes until a girl with long black hair raised her hand in the air.

Our professor raised a brow. “Is anyone else auditioning this class?”

“Oh man. He’s definitely cute.” Kathleen mumbled under my breath.

I rolled my eyes at her statement seeing most of the girls in the class raise their hands answering his question. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Okay - unfortunately that is all the time we have for today. Thank you guys, class dismissed.” He paused, eyeing his wrist watch and dismissing the class earlier than the end time that was listed.

Kathleen began putting her stuff away getting to her feet to leave like most people were. “Cool. Out of class early on the first day. Can you show me around the campus?”

“Yeah sure.” I answered her.

I heard our professor’s voice call out to me suddenly. “Excuse me, miss. Can I talk with you for a second?”

“Uh me?” I turned my body around, eyeing him standing down by his desk.

He nodded yes to me. “Yes.”

“Oooh already in trouble on day one.” Kathleen teased.

I glared at her, waving her off and gathering my stuff to go meet him down at his desk. My sister slipped out the double doors into the hallway. “I’ll find you later. Hi Professor Reid, you wanted to speak with me.”

“I noticed you and your friend were the only ones really paying attention in my lecture today.”

I made a simple noise at his point. “Oh.”

“I just wanted to say thank you. It was kinda embarrassing to learn that the majority of girls in here are auditing my class.”

Hugging my notebook closer to my chest I sent him a kind smile not expecting him to admit that it affected him. “Well uh - thank you for saying that, Professor.”

“Call me Spencer - um only if you want to - if we’re talking like this. Never mind, I shouldn't have said that. That was very unprofessional of me Ms.-“ He stuttered on his words, shifting from foot to foot.

I felt my face turn red at what he had just said until I shook my head pushing whatever I was feeling away since I was a student and he was a professor. “Stabler, Y/n Stabler. I’ll - uh see you tomorrow Professor Reid.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ms. Stabler.” He replied watching me exit the classroom while I peaked over my shoulder sparing him one glance before I was out of sight.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

Tag list - send an ask to be added @hiireadstuff

[sleepyfan-blog]

Sisterly Chat

Author’s note: A second fic for Nadesir! First. Next

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets

Warnings: cursing

Summary: You have a chat with your younger sister. 

"I'm sorry... You have a what living in your house?! Do you have any idea how dangerous they are?! Has living in that tiny fucking town in the middle of nowhere driven you insane?"  Your younger sister hissed, staring at you in alarm. The two of you were talking via Discord, and she was scowling at you, her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at you. You and your sister never got along very well - and the physical distance between her and you was nothing short of a relief from her nagging and nonsense... Even so, you did miss her from time to time, which lead to you scheduling a time to speak with her. And yes, considering how busy both you and your sister were, scheduling these video-calls was necessary, in order to not play phone-tag for the next three months between conflicting schedules and... Other things.

"A Night Lord. And yes, I've read some of the horror stories on the 'net about what Night Lords can be like. I am well aware of the fact that these Space Marines can be dangerous, but Vanya has been kind to me! Sweet even, in his own way. He kind of reminds me of a very large semi-feral cat. He comes and goes whenever he pleases... And often goes on hunts for days, if not weeks at a time. He always has a freshly prepared animal meat... Usually elk or deer, given that they're plentiful, but sometimes he comes home with several rabbits, quail or a turkey, depending on the time of year. He's been living with me for several years, and he's not the only space marine who lives in and around my hometown. There's a group of Salamanders and several Ultramarines as well. I think I saw a Dark Angel lurking near the edge of the Astartes base last week, but I didn't get a good look at him, and I was on lunch break." You respond, a small smile lifting your lips at the mention of your housemate.

Currently Vanya was out on another hunt - ever since that Imposter Vanya had shown up a month or so ago, he'd been patrolling around yours - and his - (did he feel that your home was also his? He was free to stay as long as he wanted. You were pretty sure that he knew that, but it was a bit difficult to figure out what was going on inside of his head, though he'd been a permanent fixture in your life for the past several years) home much more frequently. His hunts had been more frequent, but he wasn't gone for more than two or three days, rather than the weeks he could have been gone for, before. He also spent more time with his fellow Astartes - which you hoped was a good thing. Most of what you read on the internet about Night Lords said that they tended to be more solitary or stick to small groups, rather than the larger chapters that many other kinds of Astartes seemed to prefer. You'd also noticed that the rest of the space marines who lived in and near the small town you'd long since called your home had begun to patrol much more frequently and in greater numbers.

Not that any of them would say why they were doing this, though you suspected it had to do with the handful of teal interlopers who'd been chased off by Vanya and a handful of Salamanders... They also patrolled like this when there were reports of Feral Space Marine warbands traveling through the area - perhaps those teal marines had been a sneaky kind of feral space marine? But ferals tended to avoid humans and human settlements, except to try and acquire resources from them, if they didn't feel like making whatever they wanted themselves... Or they tried to kill the humans closest to the space marines who lived with humans for reasons that you didn't want to speculate on. 

"-another thing! Do you really think that you're safe? Considering that they are so unpredictable and dangerous... If you need help moving out and getting away from him, I'd be happy to help you get out of there. You're a talented doctor, sis." Your younger sister huffed, having clearly been in mid-rant while you'd reflected on the strangeness of Vanya and the other space marines who lived around town. "You could get a good job wherever you wanted to live. I still don't get why you decided to work in a tiny-ass hospital in the middle of fuck-all Nowhere."

A low, frustrated growl left you "As I told you when I moved away from our parents' place eight years ago I have several reasons why I'm working here, rather than at some huge hospital in a big city; the first reason why I moved here was because the hospital I work at offered to pay half of my student loans down, in exchange I would work for them for five years. They also paid for the house I'm living in. The second reason is that while yes, the pay is a lot less than I could get elsewhere, rural towns and areas are vastly underserved medically speaking - among other services they are in desperate need of and justly deserve to get! The third reason is that I like being able to walk around without being hounded with questions about that all the fucking time!" You growl, glaring at your younger sister.

She flinched a little and shifted, looking away from the screen. Away from you. "... Yeah, okay. I get it. But there are like. So many podu-rural towns who need good doctors all over the world! Do you really want to live with a giant spooky murderous bastard for the rest of your life? Or at least for a really long time? I've heard that renegade types like him tend to chase off the partner or partners of the humans they've decided are theirs. What if you find someone you want to live with - a human person, and he doesn't like them? What'd you do then? And that's not getting into how weird they can get around children! I've heard that space marines can and often do steal children and refuse to let them go! And that there are stories on the internet of the partner or partners of a human with a space marine being replaced as a primary care giver and chased off by the space marine online! There's several websites dedicated to collecting these stories, so people know the dangers."

You blink a little in surprise, before raising an eyebrow at your younger sisters "Really? You're going to believe internet rumors and bullshit as truth? Even if some space marines do chase off a human they care for's spouse, that doesn't mean that all of them - nor all renegade space marines do that. Besides, I'm too busy with work and my hobbies to find a date, much less a partner. Besides, I trust Vanya. If he found something objectionable about my partner, I'd either try to find out a way to get the two of them to eventually get along with one another - he's... Pretty prickly and aloof, but he can be affectionate when the mood strikes. I've been able to talk him into using the communication board I bought for both of us to know roughly where the other is and how long one of us intends to be out. And the only children I'm ever likely to want - if I ever do decide to have children - will be adopted. You know the reasons why." 

You remember the first time you'd pulled a double-double shift after Vanya had moved in with you. Several of your fellow staff members had been very surprised and startled to find the crabby night lord once again in the hospital, and he'd refused to let your sleep-deprived self go, having tucked you against his chest and purred aggressively until you fell asleep in his arms, the sneaky bastard. Allegedly he'd stared the head of the hospital down before stalking off back to your home. You know he'd brought you home as he'd tucked you into your bed, as you'd woken up in bed hours later, still tired from the extra-long shift and a grumpy Vanya hovering over you, and several dozen missed phone calls on your cell. 

Your younger sister again shifts uncomfortably, looking down and away from her laptop, shoulders hunching "I... I know. It's just... We really don't have any idea where these big bastards come from... And more keep appearing what feels like every day. And I've heard stories that they've been affecting politics - both local and across the world! What if they're trying to take over the world? What if they've already succeeded and they just let us puny mortals believe that we have control over our own home world, and are secretly running things from the shadows?!  What if-"

"... Have. Have you been watching conspiracy theories on Youtube again? Or going down Reddit rabbit holes? You know that's a bad idea, right? How many other batshit conspiracy theories do you believe in now?" You demand, trying to suppress a groan of frustration. You knew that your younger sister could get drawn into this sort of bullshit when she went into a researching-binge, without someone to pull her out and remind her to touch grass and think critically about what she was reading and watching. 

"I know that the common conspiracy theories bandied about online not pertaining to the space marines are bullshit, okay? It's just... Given what we've been through as kids, do you really think that some of the warning stories about astartes -" your younger sister started.

You cut her off before she could broach that subject "Don't! Just... Don't go there. You were much younger than me when... When everything went down. You've got a lot fewer memories of what happened then, than I do. No, I don't want to talk about it. The past is in the past, and there is where it will stay." You growl, shaking your head a little, as you fold your arms defensively over your chest and shake your head. You'd shielded your little sister from the worst of it, and she'd only been about six years old when you were able to escape that place with your little sister. "Please tell me you haven't been poking around about them, again? Because if you have, do you really want to be ripped from your life? Be dragged back into that bullshit? I know you don't remember much, but it was really bad."

"I... No, no. I still have nightmares about what I do remember. It's just... I wish you'd explain more about where we were, before mom and dad found and adopted us." Your younger sister responds with a whine in her voice.

"I don't know any more than you did! Just that... I knew that we needed to escape, before things got worse for us, like it did with the older girls. I think that place did get shut down after I talked to that social worker friend of our mom's... But those people might still be out there or some of them were. And they... They clearly had plans of some kind, though I couldn't begin to guess what." You huff, rubbing your eyes with the back of your palms. You hear large footsteps moving through the house, causing you to smile. Vanya could move silently, but chose to move in a way where you knew when he'd first come home, so as to not startle you.  "Want to meet Vanya? He just came home. I can hear him moving around."

"Nnnnope! You can keep your scary-ass space marine! Talk to you later!" Your little sister answered, shaking her head and ending the call.

You snort a little to yourself as you shut down and close your laptop before standing up with a yawn. Time to go see what Vanya had brought back from his hunt and be suitably impressed by whatever kill he'd gotten, you think with a small smile on your face.

[heyidkyay]

Just wondering if you would ever consider writing a Matty fic where he falls in love with a fan in the audience of a show? Maybe he writes songs about it all? It’s very cliche but man does it pull on my heart strings, the Cinderella of it all. Getting swept up into his life like that would be so romantic.

Tag along |

Part one

Strayed a little but it’s still very much fluff filled, maybe not what you’d first expect? Idk, that sounds strange but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Thank you for the prompt!<3

Part Two

--

It was official. 

After days of relentless pleading and having been so blatantly coerced into it by my mum and younger sister, I’d finally relented and given in to attending the concert. And I sort of hated myself for it. Strange, I know, but now I had no choice but to see some fuck-off band- I’d never even heard of- with my teenage sister and her best mate, who were practically mad about them. 

I mean, I love the girls, I truly do. With all my heart. But having to spend an entire evening with them, surrounded by a thousand other screaming fans, just wasn’t something I was looking too forward to.

And who could honestly blame me? 

You see, it had all begun earlier that same week. I’d been on my lunch break, grateful to have just a minute to myself, when my mum had called. We’d gone through the motions, happy to catch up; she told me the gossip whirling round back home (next door were back to rowing again and Tracey in the post office had fallen pregnant for the seventh time); she’d asked after me, like she always did, questioned if I was eating enough, sleeping alright, if I’d met anyone new…

My mum and I had always been pretty close. She’d had me young, I was her first baby- something she never failed to remind me of- and we’d sort of grown up together. Seeing as how my father (nickname: The Sperm-Doner- yes, the caps were necessary) had gone and fallen into all kinds of shit and ultimately decided to fuck off when things had gotten too real. She was my rock, the one person I could count on to defend my corner, and always believed in everything I ever set my mind to.

It had been hard on the both of us when I’d left home, especially seeing as I was now a couple dozen cities away. But life continued on and we adapted, I went back to visit as much as I possibly could, and called whenever I had the time. Even though in moments when all I really needed was a good hug from her, it was easy to remember what I was doing this all for, and that my family was only a train journey away. They were a constant, even if they lived a couple hundred miles from me.

So she had phoned, I’d immediately noticed the stress which underlined her tone and I’d asked what was up. She’d danced around the topic as much as she could- she hated asking for things, ‘that’s my job,’ she liked to reiterate whenever something occurred and I tried to help out. But I’d dragged it out of her in the end. And oh how I now wished that I’d just left it.

Because here I was, stood in the freezing cold, outside of the O2 arena, in a line full of a couple hundred other excited fans who were all waiting eagerly for the gates to open. 

The two girls were squirming beside me, so ecstatic you’d have thought that I’d gone and laced their drinks with something other than sugar, jumping all about the place whilst they squealed to one another in such a high pitched tone that anyone else would’ve believed that they were conversing in another language all together. 

It was amusing to a point, because I could honestly recall the same euphoric high I’d felt when I’d finally gotten tickets to an Arctic Monkeys gig almost a decade ago now. 

Internally I winced as the memory drifted to the forefront of my mind, feeling far too old for my twenty-three years.

But I could also admit that I was honestly in a tad bit of a mood, had been for the last half hour or so, because I truly fucking hated the cold. And right now? It was baltic and I was freezing my tits off. 

I’d already buried my face into the opening of the leather jacket I’d thrown on that morning and wrapped my arms around my torso to enclose some of my remaining heat, but it was of little use. I was still shivering away with a frown.

I’d gotten a couple of lingering looks whilst here, something I’d noticed but could’ve cared less about. It was far too cold to be stood about waiting in any sort of line, so they could all excuse me for not being overly delighted with the whole ordeal.

I sighed and peered down at my phone screen, glancing at the time, then double checked my pockets for the tickets I’d been handed on arrival and told to guard with my life. 

It was probably the twentieth time I’d done so, because who in their right mind would give me, of all people, something important to look after? I was the least irresponsible person I knew when it came to being organised. 

Because listen, I could get anywhere on time, I was insanely good at that- a job interview, an airport, a school play… But nine times out of ten, I’d almost always forget the one thing I’d needed most. My resume, everybody’s passports, the wig I’d worn one halloween and promised to my younger brother so that he could complete his costume in time for his class assembly…

Yeah, so I was a bit of a mess. But who wasn’t?

Albeit saying that, I had ultimately been the one to score these tickets. My mum and step-dad had gifted them to my younger sister as an early Christmas present after she’d literally begged for months on end during the lead up to the drop of the presale.

It had just been the three of us, all sat down in the family living room, back home up north, earlier this year. We’d counted down the minutes, a dozen devices in hand and at the ready, and it had been something short of a miracle, in all truth. 

The website had crashed a couple times, my step-dad’s phone had died, and then my laptop had quickly followed. The dog had knocked over a freshly made brew and almost pissed itself. And then the postman had scared the absolute life out of us when he’d knocked on the front door. 

So to say that we had all breathed in sudden relief when I’d loudly announced that I’d managed it, was a MASSIVE understatement.

Note. The worst part to seeing your favourite band live; Ticketmaster.

Even the thought of doing it again had me riddled with anxiety. I shivered involuntary, whether it was from the mere idea of it, or the cold, I’d never know.

But being stood here now, I was cursing myself for having been the one to officially bag the stupid things. I sighed inwardly, if only I wasn’t such a brilliant, caring and amazing older sister. But it was a hard life, I supposed. 

“I’m so excited!” My sister, Rosie, squealed, drawing me from my thoughts. She’d gripped onto Tea’s arm in her sudden bout of elation, and the two shared a maddening grin. The other girl didn’t seem to mind the tight grip her best friend held, and so I figured it was probably down to the anticipation of it all- or the fact that it was still so bloody cold.

The thing about Rosie and Tea was, they had been as thick as thieves for as long as I could remember. There’d never been one without the other, and so it was sweet to see the pair looking so forward to something like this, something which they both shared such an obvious love for. 

“I know!” Tea breathed dramatically, looking a little flushed, “I want to meet them so bad, it actually hurts.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the pair, in good fun of course, because they were both so adorably obsessed. 

Oh, to be a teen again. 

“You two are really looking forward to this,” I commented with a light chuckle, watching on as the two girls danced around happily in the small section we’d claimed. “I just don’t get it.”

Once those words had left my lips, I instantly regretted it. Having been met with the deathly glare of two teenage girls was not something I’d offer up to just anyone. 

“Are you serious?” My sister outrightly demanded, staring up at me with a face of utter bewilderment. Scarily, she looked a lot like our mum in that moment. “They’re The 1975, Y/n. They’re- incredible! You must have heard at least one of their songs!”

Tea nodded her head alongside Rosie, bobbing up and down in agreement.

I simply shrugged at the pair of them, finding amusement in their infatuation. “Can’t say that I have, Ro.”

“But, Y/n/n, you love bands! Music in general- I’d bet my whole vinyl collection that you’ll love them too!” Rosie stressed, she then smiled brightly up at me when I merely quirked a brow in retort. I dug my hands deeper into my pockets.

“I like bands, yeah. Band’s like The Stone Roses, The Kooks, Joy Division… The type that make music for music’s sake, you know? Not the kind that strive to get on the top ten, babe.”

I shook my head fondly at the two. 

This band they were so enamoured by were probably just as decent as they claimed, and I could admit that simply because, well, they’d have to be to have all these crazy fans gathered in one place. But they just weren’t my cup of tea.

Ooh, talking of tea, I was proper gagging for one. I’d yet to have my daily fix, and after having been rudely rushed out of my flat early this morning, I’d been unable to stop off at any sort of coffee shop on the way over in fear of losing a spot in line.

The two teens rolled their eyes at me, and my forehead pinched when my sister pulled out a pair of headphones and all but shoved them into my ears. “Look, just listen, okay?”

I reeled back in alarm, having not expected the sudden ambush. “Christ, Ro!” I exclaimed, but the girl only huffed at me before turning to press play on her phone. She gave me a stern look. I relented.

At first, I couldn’t hear anything but the slow intro to an unfamiliar song- even with the swarm of fans gathered around me. But I continued to listen, honing in on the tempo and its melody. And as the song went on, I begun to understand why so many people enjoyed it. The lyrics, although a bit out there and entertainingly vulgar at parts, were smart and witty, they fell with the instrumental perfectly and the singer’s voice was pretty different to what I’d first expected. It made me want to really listen, to follow along, to understand the backstory.

Honestly, they weren’t half as terrible as I’d first believed. And once the outro had faded out, I actually felt a little conflicted. The song obviously had a much deeper meaning to it, but its instrumental made it so lively and energetic that I’d found myself bobbing along almost subconsciously. It was something I could see myself getting lost in, and I wondered whether or not they’d made anything more raw, or emotional.

The songwriter was definitely talented, I couldn’t deny that, they’d had gone through some shit, and I found myself longing to read deeper into their words.

“They’re sick, right?” 

The headphones being ripped out of my ears brought me back to the present and I blinked slowly at my sister’s question.

“Yeah.” I shrugged a shoulder, handing over the wire. “Yeah, they’re alright. Can sort of see why you two like them so much.”

I laughed to myself when the girls faces lit up. 

“They’re amazing! And you’ll so enjoy this show- as well as the boys! They’re proper nice deep down, like really care about us as fans and all that.” Tea encouraged, seemingly quite happy that I hadn’t just gone and shit all over her favourite band. 

“Yeah, they’re so lovely, Y/n!” Rosie added, eyes alive as she barrelled on to explain further, “There’s four of them, right? First, we have Adam, he plays the guitar mainly- blonde, tall, only one who’s started his own little family. And then there’s Ross and George-”

“Ross is on bass, long haired with a beard, whilst George plays the drums.” Tea weighed in, before Rosie was back to chattering away again.

I was honestly beginning to feel as though I was watching an extreme game of tennis with the way my attention kept batting back and forth between them.

“Tea’s obsessed with him.” Rosie felt the need to inform me, before her face immediately brightened, “Oh, and then there’s Matty of course!”

My sister was wearing one of the biggest grins I’d ever witnessed on any singular person and I snorted when Tea rolled her eyes and made a slight dig, “You can see who Ro’s claimed.”

“Hardy har.” Rosie deadpanned, jutting a light elbow into her friend’s side before she gave me a serious look, “I haven’t ‘claimed’ him. I just…”

“You just want to have his children. Yeah, I know, Rose. You never fail to not mention it.”

Rosie stuck her tongue out in retort whilst I tried to bite back my rising amusement when they continued to bicker. The two made a right pair.

“So, what’s this Matty like then?” I questioned, wanting to know a little bit more about the guy who’d caught my sister’s eye, but mainly just eager to poke a bit more fun at her. “Come on, what’s so great about him that you’ve gone and dubbed yourself a tribute to birth his prodigy spawn?”

The girls wrinkled their noses at me, Rosie’s upper lip curled in faint disgust. “Why’ve you gotta word it like that?” She scoffed, shaking her head at me.

I chuckled, shrugging a singular shoulder. “Because I live to annoy you. So, are you gonna tell me or do I have to ask about?”

I made the effort then to pretend as though I was about to disrupt the group behind us’s conversation, but the girls were quick to waylay me, jumping hastily to grab at my outstretched hand. I smirked.

“Stop it!” Rosie all but hissed, her worried eyes flicking back over towards the people beside us before falling on me again, this time they were slitted. “God, you’re so embarrassing.”

Me, embarrassing? Hah. She should be thankful that I knew when to stop. I could still vividly recall the days when my mum had attempted the same shit with me, except she’s the type to actually follow through, leaving her daughter to stand sheepishly behind her, internally cursing the day her mother had decided to forgo an abortion. Dark, yes, but I’d also been a hormonal fifteen year old girl, so sue me.

I rolled my eyes instead of voicing this though, knowing it would only go in one ear and out the other. And ultimately, my sister sighed allowing me to prompt her on further with the rise of my brows.

“Matty, he’s the frontman basically.” She said, back to talking with her hands, forgetting about the whole ordeal.

That made sense, I thought to myself, although I’d always been a drummer sort of girl. Helders, Taylor, Fleetwood, Bonham, Moretti… I could go on.

No honestly, I could, so I was just glad that Rosie chose that moment to stop me.

“He’s a proper performer, you know? Like he just belongs up there, on stage.” My sister breathed, and she wore the sweetest look of admiration on her face. “He’s got this mop of messy black curls and he’s covered in tattoos. Wears all this cool shit and he’s-”

“-also a bit of an arsehole.” Tea summarised for her, before Rosie could get too carried away. 

I blinked at my sister’s best friend in surprise, before a loud laugh bubbled out of me. 

In all the years I’d known this girl, this deceivingly sweet girl, not once- once, I stress!- had I ever heard something so shameless spill from out her mouth, and with the exasperated look she had paired with it, I couldn’t hold in my delight.

“Tea!” I exclaimed, and was so tickled to see the younger girl’s cheeks redden when she turned to give me a sheepish sort of smile. “How crass! I always thought it was Rosie who’d been the bad influence between the pair of you, but now I see quite a few secrets are coming to light tonight.”

Rosie snorted in reply, “She’s done worse. Trust me.”

Tea swatted at my sister’s arm upon hearing that, widening her eyes in a silent warning.

“Oh, come off it.” Rosie waved away with a roll of her eyes. “It’s just Y/n.”

I decided to leave off of the teasing, feeling a bit bad for embarrassing the younger girl. “Yeah, I’m just messing, lovie.” I told Tea with a soft smile as I draped an arm over her shoulders to draw her in for a hug. “You can relax, nothing that happens tonight will be getting back to your mum, alright?”

“Yeah, ‘cause we all know what she’s like.” Rosie tittered under her breath and I slapped lightly at her bicep to scold her. “What?” The girl exaggerated with a high-pitched drawl, rubbing at her arm with a narrowed eyed glare that was directed towards both Tea and I. “I was just saying! And what’s with you two and smacking me about today?”

Tea giggled and I squeezed her lightly before letting go.

“Don’t talk about things that have nothing to do with you.” I told my sister simply, “Freya’s a perfectly lovely woman, just a tad…”

“Insane?” Rosie offered, at the same time Tea said, “Extreme.”

“Eccentric- was what I was going to say.” I shook my head at the duo. “Honestly, the two of you.”

The girls only laughed. 

The line started to move a little while later, slowly mind, but it was a progress I was grateful to see. 

Anything to get out of this chilly wind in truth. 

And as we waddled along, the two teens I was with continued to speak of the band, trying to catch me up on anything and everything I’d missed before the show officially started.

Not that it helped at all. I was beyond crap when it came to things like that- recalling anything trivial- I could hardly even remember the band’s actual name and it was plastered practically everywhere around me. As well as this big box thing. 

I breathed out a loud sigh of relief when I realised that we were up next, and when we were signalled over towards the gates by one of the arenas guards I could see just how nervous Rosie and Tea had grown, giddy but mostly eager to just get inside. I couldn’t help the fond smile which limned my lips then, happy to see them so excited.

“You three.” A large man, branded in a security uniform, called, jerking his head over at us. I heard the girls take a deep breath as we approached and I quietly chuckled at them. “Tickets?” He stated. 

Oh shit, yeah. The tickets.

“Tickets…” I murmured quietly to myself, patting down my pockets to find them, “Tickets, tickets, tickets…”

I could feel the apprehension radiating off of my younger sister as I continued to riffle around for the poxy things, and so I flashed the bloke a wry smile before I started to unload the contents of my jacket pockets into both Rosie and Tea’s hands...

Gum, house keys, a stray tampon. Pack of haribo (because you never knew when you’d need those), ID, bank card, phone, charger. A few spare pound coins-

Oh God, that was where my Argos receipt had got to! I could finally return that shitty Nespresso machine my cousin and her fiancé had talked me into buying now.

I grinned in quiet victory whilst tucking the slip into the back pocket of my trousers.

“Y/n.” My sister stressed out in a hushed whisper, I just simply waved her off.

“They’re here somewhere. I felt them like, twenty minutes ago.” I assured her and- “Aha, told you! Three tickets, all here!”

I wore a triumphant grin when I held out the wrinkled papers towards the guard, who appeared to have been throughly amused by my prolonged charade. He took them from me to scan with a toothy smile.

“Oh cheer up, we’ll be in there in a sec.” I huffed at the girls, tucking all of my belongings back into their rightful place. Rosie didn’t look too cheerful though, but I could see that Tea’s lips had started to twitch, so I have her a conspiratorial wink in turn. Then glanced back towards the bloke, “We all good here?”

“Yeah, all good, love.” He exhaled on a faint chuckle, waving us in through the barrier without further issue. “You girls enjoy your night.”

“We will!” I promised, gifting him a gleeful smile, “You too- hope you don’t have to spend too much longer out in that cold!”

He just nodded at me, still looking rather entertained by all our antics.

“So embarrassing.” My sister felt the need to reiterate as we wondered further into the arena, practically growling.

“Oh, loosen up, would you? He was proper nice about it all. Fit too, don’t you think?” I said, glancing back over my shoulder.

But Rosie just rolled her eyes at me. Fed up, I was about to bite back at her when Tea’s unexpected gasp broke us from our little quarrel.

“Oh my god. They have the limited edition LP!”

Rosie’s eyes widened dramatically and before I knew it the two were scurrying away from me and over towards the merch stand. I sighed to myself and glanced about, hoping to see a sign that would lead me to where the bar might be.

—

We were here. In the middle of a fucking mass of people, but we’d actually done it. We’d finally managed to swindle our way near the front of standing, practically touching the barriers, even after having loaded up on snacks and drinks- mine mostly alcoholic.

The girls were buzzing. Looking all cute and excited in the outfits they’d planned months in advance, singing along to the set that was playing through the speakers to keep the crowd entertained before things begun.

And me? I was getting swept up in the atmosphere. Unable to believe that I’d almost forgotten how good it all felt. Because live music was truly unmatched.

There was just something about the heavy thud you felt in your veins, how being this close to the amps could make your chest ache in the very best way, and how’d you’d have to scream just to be heard over all the noise whilst you got lost in an avalanche of happy people. 

It really had been too long.

I was already a fair few drinks in by the time the opening act came out, and was chatting away to the couple crowded beside us. They were both a year older than me and studying down in Bournemouth. They’d bought their tickets off of a mate, who hadn’t been able to make it, on a whim when they’d had the cash to spare, and had decided to make a weekend out of it. 

We’d actually only gotten to talking when they’d almost sloshed a canned cocktail all down my back. 

I’d been startled at first, rightfully so, as this giant of a man had all but stumbled right into me, eyes as wide as saucers. His boyfriend had come to his rescue though, offered me up one in apology, and who would I have been to deny? 

So I’d cracked it open, found myself pleasantly surprised by the taste, and one thing had quickly led to another and they’d ended up letting me share the bagged vodka they’d also managed to smuggle into the stadium in the bands of their socks.

To say that I’d been impressed wouldn’t have been a lie, I sort of felt like I’d found my people in truth. Because the price of alcohol at these kind of events was always extortionate. Practically daylight robbery, there was no other way about it.

And my bank account had taken quite the hit from the first trip to the stands alone. And with two teenage girls, who could care less about money unless it was their own, I’d almost wanted to shed a tear when I’d handed over my card to the boy behind the till- he’d sympathised with me, I’d seen it in his eyes as he wished us a good time.

So here I now was, pissing it up in the pit with a bunch of strangers, a medical bag full of spirits clutched tightly in one hand. 

“Oh, God! Y/n, Y/n! It’s starting!”

I turned away from one of the boys to glance back towards my sister, who was staring up at the stage with this starry eyed expression, Tea was right beside her wearing the exact same face. I chuckled beneath my breath.

“You girls ever been to a show before?” Lewis, one half of the couple I’d met earlier, asked Rosie.

My sister shook her head at his question whilst the screens above us begun to distort and screams overwhelmed the arena. Lewis merely chuckled at Rosie's nonverbal reply, she only had eyes for the stage it seemed. 

“It’s her first gig ever. She’s been dying to see these lot for years.” I answered for her, leaning in close so that he could hear.

I saw his eyebrows lift at the information before he was grinning against my ear. “She’ll never want to see anyone else after this!”

My forehead pinched, silently questioning his statement, but just laughed it off when a row of boxes flashed brightly above us.

Lewis and I separated on cue, just as the world around us hushed for a split second and the sudden intro of a loud guitar pierced the veil.

“Please welcome, my favourite band, The 1975!” A voice then announced and I looked up, right into the eyes of a man who’d seemingly taken claim of the stage.

His smile was wide, unmatched, as he pranced up and down the front, his hair a mess of curls as a set of drums picked up the pace of the opening beat. I had to be reminded to close my gawping mouth.

Who the fuck’s that?

And I must’ve said it out loud, because I heard Lewis snort obnoxiously from right beside me, continuing to sing away whilst the girls immediately turned towards me to shout, “Matty!”

Shockingly, their loud exclamation also managed to garner the attention of the man himself when he danced by, and I watched on as the dark-haired frontman smiled down at Rosie and Tea. Waving hello. 

I was caught by utter surprise when I then found myself trapped in his heady gaze, still giggling away at the girls' hysterical reactions. 

Okay. Before I continue on, I truly am putting this all down to the alcohol that was streaming through my system, because it was then that Matty appeared to pause before me for the briefest of moments. 

And I didn’t dare look away. I couldn’t. 

He smirked down at me, eyes so observant, and I found myself shaking my head at him with a smile of my own. But sadly he only left me with a sly wink as he traipsed away to sing out into the rest of the audience.

Rosie and Tea had squealed beside me, excited to have captured the singer's focus, whilst I tried to catch my breath.

The show continued on after that and I allowed myself to relax and get lost in the people, their heat, the music. I danced, the girls and I swayed, twirling about, Lewis and I laughed, and I even managed to sing along to a couple of songs I sort of recognised. 

The current one came to an end though soon enough, and Rosie informed me with a glossy eyed smile and smudged liner that the last song was fast approaching, whilst Tea just pulled out her phone to record again. 

I nodded at my sister, squeezing her close before she pivoted away back towards her best mate, leaving me to sip at the drink I’d been trying not to spill all down myself due to the constant shoving and pushing.

Minutes went by and Matty engaged with the burly bloke on bass- whose hair I found I’d rather like to touch (because honestly, how did he get it so glossy?). Before he continued on, pointing out signs here and there, and sparking up another massive round of cheers by vocalising the inner workings of his mind, which was something he supposedly did quite often. Enough for the rest of the band to begin playing again only to shut him up. That had made me giggle. 

Dozens of faces passed over the main screen, most of them beaming, or crying, there wasn’t much of an inbetween. And Matty interacted with them all, grinning and joking in such a way that only screamed sincerity.

The shouts around us only started to double then when he made his way over to our section, and even my own heartbeat sped up as I watched his eyes drag over the absurdly large crowd. He was unfairly attractive, okay? I could easily see why my sister had taken such a shine to him.

He was smiling and my pulse stuttered then stopped altogether when Matty paused right by us, to look me directly in the eye, his eyebrows drawn tightly together.

“Alright, darling? Having a good night?” He quizzed me, the sudden weight of his attention making me jump even though the surrounding screams had yet to cease. “What’s in the bag?”

I glanced down at the liquid filled bag I was still holding, gaze drifting to Lewis for a split second before it darted back up towards the singer. “Vodka.” I told him before I could think better of it.

The sound Matty produced then was almost inhuman and I was actually quite proud of myself for having been the cause of it.

“Definitely snuck that in.” He accused, quieter this time around and with a growing smile. The audience laughed.

Rosie and Tea spun around to face me, huge smiles threatening to split their faces in half, as my brows pinched.

“Way to out me to an entire arena!” I instantly called back, ducking slightly to avoid the eyes of the hefty security man stood on the other side of the barricade. Matty’s cackle echoed out around me, coming from all directions.

“Oi, mate! Escort her out, will you?” Matty ordered, nodding down at the same man I’d previously noticed. “Ruining it for everyone.”

I gaped, eyes widening in sudden alarm whilst he just shook his head at me, feigning disappointment.

Thankfully though the singer was quick to go back on his word, waving the guard (who had actually begun to MOVE) off with a sway of his hand and a thoroughly amused grin.

Fuck, this man was really going to be the death of me, I thought. 

I willed my racing heart to slow.

“I’m just joking, love.” Matty reassured me, eyes twinkling under the array of lights. “Spotted you a couple times tonight, actually. Like to stand out, don’t you?”

It didn’t sound like much of a question.

“Might do.”

I could physically feel my brain struggling to make my mouth cooperate, and I figured I might’ve drunk a tad too much, because I usually wasn’t this tactless. Which was how I managed to surprise even myself with the next sentence I fired back.

“Or maybe it’s just you.”

“Just me?” Matty queried with a tilt of his head, and he squatted down then, bouncing on the balls of his feet for a moment before he took perch on the side of the stage. “What do you mean?”

“You’re the one who spotted me.” I retorted with a smug smile, raising my voice to be heard. “I’m just one face in a thousand. Nothing I did.”

He hummed, mouth quirked to one side. “So this is all on me then?”

I shrugged casually, but my mind was reeling.

Matty laughed before he motioned me closer. “Here’re.” He prompted, jutting his chin out and willing the crowd to woefully part. “Come on, let her through. Let her through.”

I frowned but did as I was told, slipping my way past the few who had actually managed to claim the metal fence before us, quirking a confused brow up at him.

He towered above me, even from where he was seated on the stage, and I willed back my shock when he proceeded to jump down from off his perch and approach me. My heart hammered and a lump formed in my throat.

“Have you got a favourite song of ours?” He asked and I actually felt how embarrassed I must have looked in that moment, gifting the singer a sheepish smile before I quietly informed him that I didn't have one.

His head jerked back, “What do you mean, you don’t have one?”

The sudden crow of Rosie's voice sounded above the rest of the buzzing noise then and I was unsure on whether or not to be grateful for it.

“She’d never heard any of them before tonight!”

I grimaced slightly from behind the hand that had come up to hide my face, silently hoping for the ground to just open up and swallow me whole. I could feel the heat radiating in my cheeks and the tips of my ears, knowing full well that Tea was definitely recording every inch of this mortifying moment.

“Oh, so we have a fake fan within our midsts?” Matty voiced and it was full of mirth, he found pleasure in his teasing. 

A soft brush touched my skin and before I even knew what was occurring my hand was being pried away from my flushed cheeks by the singer himself, who looked me dead in the eye and had the utter nerve to wear the most devastating grin.

“Is this all part of your plan? Lure me in and then break my heart. How’re you at my gig, after never having heard a single one of our songs?”

“I’ve heard a few!”

But my attempt to defend myself was waylaid, it seemed Matty had other ideas.

The frontman nodded over towards Rosie, who blanched under his gaze. “Go on. Tell me more. What’s her motive here?”

I watched on as Tea nudged my younger sister into talking, Rosie too shellshocked to remember that she had the biggest gob I’d known to man.

“Um,” My sister startled, blinking away before she took a deep breath, “I dragged her along tonight. Me and my friend, we’re huge fans!”

“Lovely to meet you. Glad you could make it- only wish you’d made a listener out of this one beforehand!”

“We’ve tried!” Rosie exclaimed with an exasperated sigh that had me rolling my eyes. It appeared as though she'd reverted back to her usual self, despite being under the gaze of her favourite person in the entire world. Yes, you could be assured that that was an actual quote.

“Oh it’s like that is it?” Matty asked, peering down at me. I couldn’t tear my gaze away, his brown eyes smudged with kohl making them that much more enticing.

His attention differed then, flitting back towards my sister.

“She seemed to be enjoying the set whenever I looked over though, so what happened?”

“She’s stubborn!” Rosie shouted back, and I could hear her muffled laughter through the crowd, probably upon seeing me so put out.

“Stubborn, are we?” Matty smirked, and his lips were by my ear before I knew any better, his mic long forgotten. “I like a challenge.”

And then he was gone, back to wooing the crowd and making the most of having all this attention.

I let myself slip back into the seams, breathing heavily as my sister and Tea joggled me about, Lewis and his boyfriend beaming madly from ear to ear. I tried to focus.

What had just happened?

Part Two>

[melswifeasf]

Find my way back to you pt 1

next chapter || series page

Pairing: Samantha Carpenter x Fem!OC

Summary: Estelle and Sam were each others first love until one day she leaves without a goodbye leaving her behind with only the memories of what they once were. until Tara is attacked by a fucking ghost face.

Warnings: minor description of injury.

word count: 1225

Estelle Garcia had been many things growing up, a cheerleader, the sister of a drug dealer and an addict amongst many more she couldn’t list off the top of her head.

she just never thought she’d be a cop. the twenty three year old had been one for a year now. she was an amateur which she was reminded of everyday, fortunately for her she had connections which helped her see a higher ranking in just one year.

Sheriff Judy Hicks made sure the girl saw properly taken care of which resulted in her making a lot of enemies in her line of duty. not that she cared, anyone else would’ve done the same if they were in her position.

the raven haired girl sighed as she drove around Woodsboro aimlessly. she was on patrol duty which although was considered the most dangerous, it was also extremely boring. most of the crime seemed to always happen across town from where she is which always annoyed her to no end. she spent most of her nights handing out tickets to reckless drivers or to teenagers who thought speeding at eighty miles an hour in a forty would be deemed safe.

the girl sighed as she took a sip out of her redbull and listened to the muffled dispatch beside her, hoping there would be reinforcements needed near her.

the patrol car came to a stop as the red light shined above her illuminating the bottom half of her face the bright red color. most of the streets were empty, it was a school night so most of the partying was put off until the weekend. just as she thought her night would consist of her driving around aimlessly for the whole night her phone rang. her eyebrows furrowed as she reached for her phone and pulled the patrol car to the side of the road, never one for reckless driving.

the small screen reflected on her tan skin as she looked at the text message on her phone.

Tara:

SOS

Estelle felt her heart rate pick up for a second as she shot the girl back a couple of question marks, confused on why the girl would be sending her a message so late at night and when she’s on duty. three bubbles popped up on the chat before they disappeared. the raven haired girl let out a small breath as she began to type again when a loud alert popped up causing her to flinch.

emergency call from Tara Carpenter

without a second thought Estelle turned on her sirens and stomped on the gas. she was only five minutes away thankfully, having been assigned to the nicer side of town by Judy’s orders. she always thought it was because the woman knew it was the safer side of town which meant less danger for the young girl. she wasn’t very appreciative of that, the whole point of her job was to be around danger twenty-four-seven so it was quite stupid that the women tried to protect her from it.

the girls grip on the steering wheel tightened, her knuckles turning white, the patrol car going fast enough it shook the cars around her as they pulled to the side to let it through. in minutes - she wasn’t quite sure how many, not able to focus on anything but her rapidly beating heart and the road in front of her. she had already called in backup but they were all more than five minutes away.

the tires screeched to a halt as the young girl quickly opened the door and got out of the car, not even caring to turn the ignition off.

Estelle pulled her gun out of her holster and ran to the front door when she heard a loud scream.

Tara.

the house looked as it did every other day, no cars parked in the driveway or on the street but Tara had called SOS which she knew was only for emergency’s and there was something in there causing the girl to scream.

Estelle quickly reached for the doorknob but it wouldn’t turn which meant it was locked. she cursed silently before she took a step back.

“Tara!” she yelled loudly but the only response she got was an ever louder scream.

Estelle didn’t think twice before lifting her leg and bringing it down onto the door. it shook for a second but it didnt buge. three kicks later she knew the lock she had set up wouldn’t be breaking, she was counting on that when she put it on.

her heart was pounding against her chest as she turned around and grabbed the nearest rock to her and rushed over to the small windows beside the door. Estelle threw it to the smallest one, the glass shattering on impact. It broke apart with a loud bang and fell to the floor. she avoided the small pieces of glass stuck to the window as she put her hand through an unlocked the door from the inside.

Estelle threw the door open, “Tara!” she called ourtpointing her gun up. she took slow steps at first, her boots causing the glass to crush under her. she turned her body quickly to the first room which was the living area, her eyes scanned it in a singular second before she heard yet another scream.

the kitchen.

she ran toward it expecting to see a man or woman with a gun or some kind of weapon about to attack Tara, maybe expecting the house to be empty but they were instead met with a teen girl and were trying to harm her for fucking up their plan.

but that wasn’t it at all. the color drained from her face as her eyes trailed over a person wearing a Ghostface costume hovering over Tara with a knife in their hand.

her reflexes sprung into action as she began to unload her gun, the bullet hitting the top left side of their back, a groan leaving their lips. Ghost face turned quickly, obviously surprised anyone else would be in the house before they bolted out of the house, gun shots echoing as Estelle emptied out of the clip but missing each one.

she moved her body in an effort to run after them but hey eyes glanced down to see Tara’s body causing her to put her gun away quickly and drop to her knees. she could hear the echo of sirens meaning there was back up and they could go after Ghostface themself.

she couldn’t leave Tara alone.

Tara was unconscious with piles of red liquid surrounding her body. her bright clothes were soaked with blood, and the way small drops of it rolled down the sides of her lips made Estelle’s heart drop.

she saw there was a huge gash on the girls stomach causing her instincts to kick in. she reached for the injury and applied pressure with one hand as the other reached for her neck where she found a quiet pulse. it was soft but it was there meaning she was still there.

“it’s okay, i’ve got you” Estelle whispered as she heard loud footsteps coming in with the shout of her name. she didn’t say anything as the paramedics began to do their job, simply watched from afar.

[thebabblingbrookenook]

The Viscount Who Loved Me Too Much - Part 3

Pairings: Anthony Bridgerton x Hyacinth Bridgerton , Anthony Bridgerton x Violet Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton x Female Reader

Summary: Modern AU - A continuation of The Viscount Who Loved Me Too Much Part 1 and Part 2 . This chapter changes from Reader’s POV to Anthony’s in an effort to give us a little more insight into what’s going on with our Viscount. While Anthony grapples with the depths of his feelings for his Reader, Violet calls on Anthony for a favor. His sister needs his help.

Warnings: Not really anything to warn you about. If you are afraid of emotional growth and cheeky banter, then look away lol

Word Count: 5.1K

Author’s Note: @colettebronte is a beta - reading hero! Shout out to my Discord friends for helping me with fun ideas for this installment. I do plan to continue this story for as long as it makes sense to do so. Bear with me!

_________________________________________

Six weeks, four days, and some odd hours…

Apparently that was the length of time in which it took Anthony Bridgerton to fall in love. He knew when she awkwardly approached him in the bar that night and stumbled her way through an attempt at flirting that she was going to be important in his life. What he didn’t realize was that she would be the one to remind him of all the things that made life worth living.

She was a survivor. She fought relentlessly for her life - kicking, screaming, and clawing her way to the happiness she deserved. She was a marvel, and he constantly stood in awe of her. She made him want more than to merely exist. She made him aware of every ounce of joy he had been missing over the past year, but she also felt like his promise for a redemption of the time lost.

As he sat smiling at the ridiculous photo she just sent him of herself, he caught himself saying it aloud. It came as naturally as hushing Benedict’s sarcastic teasing, or sighing at his mother’s affectionate meddling. It was as if the words belonged on his lips. Light and free, with a huff of laughter he declared, “God, I love her.”

It was probably still a bit too soon for him to shout it from the rooftops for all to hear, but he knew it was true. He loved her, and eventually he would gain the courage to tell her so. Until then, he would revel in every second she allowed him to spend in her presence, every day adding new truths to his list of reasons to love her. 

He was about to respond to her cheeky midday text when his phone started buzzing, flashing a picture of his mother across the screen.

“Hello mother,” he answered.

“Oh, hello darling!” she beamed. “I wasn’t expecting you to answer. I’m not bothering you, am I?”

“Not yet,” he teased. “But it’s only a matter of time.”

“You wound me, son. I don’t know where I went wrong in raising you.”

A warmth that he associated with childhood started to bloom in his chest. Violet Bridgerton had a million admirable qualities, but chief among them was her playful sense of humor. “My apologies, Lady Bridgerton. How can I possibly make amends?”

“Oh, good! I’m glad you asked.” she said without missing a beat. “Are you busy today? I wasn’t sure if you were working from home or the office.”

“Bex informed me this morning that my afternoon meeting was canceled, so I took the rest of the day. I have plans later this evening with…” he paused, unsure if he was ready to share her with anyone else just yet. “... with a friend. Other than that, I’m at your disposal. Is everything all right?”

“Yes, everything is fine. I was just wondering if you could collect Hyacinth for me. The school called. It seems she isn’t feeling well and needs to be sent home. I would go, but I’m on my way to a bridal boutique with Daphne at the moment. Genevieve Delacroix is having a trunk show and your sister has her heart set on one of her dresses. Simon, the dearheart, set up an appointment with the designer as a surprise.”

Anthony shook his head at his friends' over-the-top gesture. Leave it to Simon to find new ways to spoil Daphne beyond belief. It was hard for Anthony to see Daphne as a woman who was ready for marriage, and not as a tiny, bossy little girl that followed her brothers everywhere they went. But if it had to be someone, he was glad it was Simon that his baby sister deemed worthy enough to trust with her heart. 

“Of course I will. She must really be sick to call home. That kid would sooner die than admit defeat.” Worry started to take root in his chest. He knew it was perfectly normal for kids to get sick from time to time, but Hyacinth was such a steady, constant little thing. She never wavered from her determined strength. At least not where the prying eye could see.

“Thank you, Anthony.” Violet sighed with appreciation. “Give her a kiss for me and tell her I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“I don’t know about all that, but I’ll certainly let her know she crossed your mind.”

Violet huffed her reply. “What have I done to deserve such an obstinate child?”

Anthony found himself laughing again. It felt good. “God clearly thought you needed a challenge since the rest of your brood would prove to be so easy. I’m honored to be the one assigned the task of keeping you sharp. I think I’ve done a great job so far.”

“You’ve done a great job of making me old, that’s what you’ve done. When do you think you might retire?” she asked lovingly.

“As soon as you stop meddling and insisting that you know what’s best for me.”

“So, never.” she quipped.

“Have fun with Daph today, and try not to worry about Hyacinth. I’ll take care of it.” he promised, directing the conversation to a close.

“I know,” she replied, her voice steeped in motherly love. “You always do. Thank you, dear. I love you.”

“You too,” he returned, discomfort settling in his shoulders. He still had a hard time hearing those words when they were meant for him. He didn’t deserve them. Too much had happened. He failed too many people to be awarded that privilege. Especially his mother…

“Oh, and Anthony… One more thing before you go,” her voice took on the chastising quality that only a mother could master. “When are you going to introduce me to the lovely young woman you’ve been so clearly infatuated with for the last few weeks?”

“How did you...” he questioned with shock.

“Oh, come now Anthony. A mother always knows.” He could hear the victorious smile in her voice. “Plus, you’ve been walking around all sneaky and secretive like a fourteen year old boy. It was either a woman, or I’m about to get a call from your old headmaster claiming that he caught you bringing farm animals into the school again.”

He desperately wanted to change the subject. “Priorities, mother. Hyacinth needs me. We can talk about this later.”

“I agree. We’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll be at the office to meet with the barristers regarding the foundation. You can take me to lunch.” That was that. She hung up the phone before he had the chance to protest. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Hyacinth Bridgerton sat in uncharacteristic silence while she waited with the school nurse for what she had hoped would be a quick rescue. What was taking her mother so long to get here? Didn’t she know that being the baby of the family granted Hyacinth the right to be the center of her mother’s universe? What could she possibly be doing right now that would keep her from rushing to her aid?

“Hyacinth,” the nurse prodded. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather lie down? You look a bit too pale for my liking.”

“I’m fine,” she lied. 

She wasn’t fine at all. She was in the worst pain she had ever felt in her life. All she wanted was to go home and crawl up for a good cry. She wouldn’t break down here. Not with someone watching. She would hold it all together until she was in private. She was a Bridgerton - weakness didn’t run in their blood. She had seen Anthony do it a hundred times. He was a master at taming his own emotions until the time was right. If he could do it, so could she. 

Although, she doubted her brother ever had to deal with anything equal to likes of this. It was excruciating and horrifying. There was a good chance she was dying. She didn’t know how much longer she had left. Hopefully her mother made it in time.

A knock wrapped on the door and the secretary popped her head inside with a smile. “Miss Bridgerton, your father is here to take you home.”

Hyacinth’s lungs forgot how to breathe. Father… this was obviously a mistake. Maybe they meant to collect the young girl in the corner with her face hunched over a bucket. “I think you may have the wrong student. My mother is coming for me.”

“No,” the annoyingly chipper woman replied. “He asked for you by name. Grab your things and follow me. I’ll walk you out to him.”

They walked in silence through the corridor. Hyacinth only remained upright through sheer force of will. She was already preparing her “I told you so” speech when realization hit. And with that realization came dread. There was currently only one person that someone would mistake as her father…

Her nightmare was confirmed when they rounded the corner to find Anthony anxiously awaiting her arrival. He rose to his feet the second he saw her approaching, worry widening his soulful eyes. It was strange to see him here. Actually, it was strange to see him at all. She tried not to hold his absence against him. This had been one of the hardest years for their family. Especially for Anthony. And she understood her brother. She knew why he distanced himself. She knew he needed the space to rebuild in solitude. But she missed him, and she couldn’t help feeling a little like he’d abandoned her. 

“Hyacinth,” he fretted, scanning her over from head to toe. “Are you okay? Do you want me to take you to the doctor?”

“No!” she panicked. “No doctors. Just take me home please.”

“Of course,” he said softly before taking her backpack from her shoulder and slinging it over his own. It was a small but sweet gesture that left her eyes misty. He was somehow both the last and exact person she wanted here with her right now.

She was relieved to see that he had opted to drive himself instead of taking his driver. She didn’t need anymore witnesses to her impending meltdown. 

Hyacinth could feel him eyeing her cautiously from the driver’s seat as they made their way through traffic. “You’re staring, Anthony.”

“I’m just worried. You never get sick. Your face is as white as a sheet and you look like you’re about to puke all over my car.”

“Well knock it off,” she scowled. “I’m fine.”

He scoffed, irritating her even more. “You’ve always been a horrible liar Hyacinth. You’re allowed to not feel well. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s none of your business Anthony. Just take me home so you can get back to whatever it is you were doing before I inconvenienced you.” She regretted her words the moment she saw the hurst flash across his face.

“I’ve never thought you were an inconvenience Hyacinth. Not even once. Now will you please tell me what’s wrong? I can stop at the store before we get to the house and pick up some medicine if you need.”

“My stomach hurts, okay. Now can we please drop this?” she wasn’t above begging him. 

“Alright, well I’ll just pop into Waitrose and grab you some ginger ale,” he offered.

He was only trying to take care of her, but she was irrationally angry at him. She just wanted him to stop talking and drive her home so she could die in peace.

“It’s not that kind of stomach ache, Ant. I don’t need ginger ale.”

“Okay, then maybe I ca-” she cut him off before he could provide another option.

“Ughhh! If I tell you what’s wrong will you shut up?” When he nodded his concession she took a deep breath and went on. “I got my period today in front of my entire gym glass. Marcy Fisher told everyone I was a freak and to stay away from me if they didn’t want it to happen to them too.”

From the look on his face, Hyacinth was sure that she’d thoroughly traumatized her eldest brother. He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat before he responded. “But… you’re only twelve. You’re still… so small. Are you certain?”

She rolled her eyes at his very male reaction. “I’m pretty freaking sure, Anthony. I’m not a baby anymore. According to Eloise, this means I’m a woman now.”

“Oh, God,” he groaned. “Please don’t say that. I’m not ready.”

“I hate to break it to you, but you better buckle up brother, because this is happening. It hurts, it’s disgusting, I’m mortified, and I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. Especially not with you.” 

“Do you want me to ring mum?” he asked desperately. 

“No!” she screeched. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone else. Swear it, Anthony!”

“Alright, alright! I swear it. Relax.” He had to restrain from wincing at the glare she shot him.

“Good,” she sighed. Some of the tension visibly left her body with the knowledge of their pact. “The last thing I need is Gregory finding out. I’d never hear the end of it.”

Anthony drove on in silence. He knew this was a big day for his littlest sister, and he was trying his best to not react poorly. He was not the right person to be handling this. Almost anyone else would be more well suited. He had to assume that his mother wouldn’t have sent him if she knew what was really going on with her daughter. This was the kind of thing he would normally call Benedict for help with. He always seemed to know what to do where their sisters were concerned. He had a much more delicate touch than Anthony. But he couldn’t call Benedict. He couldn’t call anyone. Hyacinth had forbidden it, and he didn’t want to face the tiny girl’s wrath if he ignored her wishes. 

His plan was to just keep his head down long enough to get her home and then wait for his mother to arrive so he could slip out undetected. Yes, that was the plan. Sit down, shut up, avoid disappointing her. That is until he heard the muffled sniffles coming from the other side of the car.

He could never stand to see Hyacinth cry. It never failed to render him useless. All he wanted was to comfort her, but he didn’t always know how. It was a lot easier when she was four and just crawled into his lap for a hug. It was easy to chase away what scared her when he could just pick her up and remove her from the danger all together. But now… what did he do now?

“Hyacinth…” he treaded carefully.

Thankfully, she let him in without a fight. “How am I supposed to face them all tomorrow, Anthony? Marcy Fisher said…”

Anger boiled behind his eyes when he identified the source of his sister’s tears. “Marcy Fisher is a snot-nosed spoiled brat with a father that can’t find a job with a salary large enough to support his coke habit and a mum who is so vapid that she has to pay people to be her friend. Marcy Fisher can piss off. You’ll face those kids the same way you do every day - as a Bridgerton.”

Her responding laughter was contagious until it turned into painful sobs without warning. Alarm bells sounded in his head as he began backpedaling. “Shit, what have I said?! I’m sorry Hy, please don’t cry. You don’t even have to go to school tomorrow if you don’t want to.”

She shook her head, gathering herself. “It’s not you. Well, it is, but not in a bad way. I just forgot how much you get me sometimes. Sorry, I’m really tired and probably sound like a blubbering idiot. How embarrassing.”

“Just hang in there,” he assured her. “We’re almost home.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Anthony was sure Hyacinth was ready to be rid of him, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave her. Once they reached the house she had immediately gone for a shower and insisted that she didn’t need anything else from him. She claimed everything else could wait until their mother got home, but he didn’t think it was right that she should have to wait for what she needs just because he might be a little uncomfortable. 

There were a lot of things over the years that he fucked up when it came to Hyacinth. She needed a father but she got him instead - a disappointment since she took her first breath. There was probably loads yet that he would surely get wrong, but this he could do. 

Or so he thought…

He stood frozen with indecision in the middle of the feminine care aisle of their local pharmacy. There were so many options to choose from. How was he supposed to know which ones to pick?!

An understanding laugh pulled him from the ledge of his looming panic. “You’ve got the terrified look of a first time dad. Need some help?”

Anthony met the eyes of the kind stranger with gratitude. The man looked to be well into his fifties and reminded him unsettlingly of his father. “Please… I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Everyone’s gotta start somewhere,” the man said, clapping him on the shoulder. “How old is your daughter?”

“She’s twelve,” he sighed. “She’s only twelve. That seems too early, doesn’t it?”

“One of my girls was ten,” the man confided. “You were lucky. You got a couple extra years of normalcy. It will be like riding lightning from here on out.”

Anthony watched in amazement as the man picked up items from the shelf and set them into the basket in his trembling hand. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he smiled. “If I were you, I’d toss in some ibuprofen and some sweets. And anything else that might make her feel loved.”

He could do that. He loved buying Hyacinth things that made her smile. She always rewarded him with hugs. “Thank you again. I would have been standing here all day if you hadn’t come along.”

The man instilled one last piece of wisdom before taking his leave. “Just remember, you’re never doing as bad as you think. And hold on tight for as long as she’ll let you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When Hyacinth came out of the shower, bundled in the coziest sweats she could find, Anthony was gone. She was equally disappointed and relieved. Being with her brother always made her feel special. He looked at her like she was his most treasured possession. Like a tiny, delicate gemstone that he wanted to protect at all costs. But he also hovered and fussed. And his keen observation skills made it way harder to get away with cheeky activities. Sometimes the authority that he carried made it hard for her to just relax. There was always that lingering fear of seeing disenchantment dull his warm eyes. 

It was hard for Hyacinth to be around him when he was sad. She could feel the effort it took him to present himself as having it all together. He might be able to fool other people, but not her. Everyone else believed that mask because that’s what they wanted to see, but the truth was in his eyes. He was tired. Life hadn’t been pulling its punches lately, and her invincible big brother was dancing with defeat. It made her angry. She knew that wasn’t fair - he wasn’t perfect. The pedestal she placed him on was always unsustainable, she knew that. She just wasn’t ready for how it would feel to see him as a normal person and not the hero the little girl in her remembered so clearly.

She had noticed a change in him lately though. He smiled a little easier, his body looked stronger - he wasn’t as fragile. She didn’t know what happened to make him feel more like himself again, but whatever it was, she was grateful.

She had just climbed under the comforting fabric of her plush blanket when she heard the knocking on her bedroom door. Anthony poked his head in before she could answer.

“Hyacinth, are you in here?” his eyes searched the room before finally landing on the Hyacinth shaped lump under the covers.

“You came back,” she stated, happiness tugging the corners of her mouth toward the sky.

“I know you wanted to be alone, but I’ve brought you some things.” He took a tentative step into the room.

Heat rushed to the tops of Hyacinth’s cheeks. “You went shopping for me?”

“I wasn’t sure what all you would need, so I just bought one of everything.” He handed her the large paper bag he clutched nervously. “There are also some sweets in there. I got those little Battenbergs you like. And those disgusting Monster Munch crisps you fancy so much.”

Her eyes lit up. “Roast Beef flavored?!”

His face grimaced as he shook off his distaste. “Yes, but I beg you to wait to eat those until after I’ve left. I don’t know how you stomach the smell.”

She stuck her tongue out at him before continuing to dig through the bag. “Good God, Anthony! How much did you buy? I’m only one person.”

Her throat tightened with the effort to hold in a fresh wave of tears. She had just managed to stop crying and refused to start up again. A few salty droplets slipped past her defenses as she cataloged the contents of her care package. He had put so much thought into it. The image of him scowling at shelves of feminine hygiene products made her laugh. He really had thought of everything - snacks, medicine, a heating pad. There was even an adorable stuffed bumble bee. 

She felt the bed dip slightly when he sat down next to her. His anxious expression caught her attention before he spoke. “Hyacinth…” he paused, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over something concealed in his palm. “I know I haven’t been very present lately, and I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with my own shortcomings.”

He extended his hand to her, revealing the antique gold pocket watch their father had given him. “Father’s watch?” she asked, confusion coloring her features.

“Open it,” he encouraged.

Gently, she clicked the delicate latch to display the same intricate clock face she’d seen a thousand times before. Tucked safely within the opposite side was a worn photo. A young Anthony holding…

“That’s us,” he confirmed. “The day you were born. You were so small… and loud.”

“Ha. Ha.” she deadpanned. “Why do you keep it here?”

As if the answer was obvious, he simply stated, “So that I’ll always have it with me.” Sensing she needed more, he went on, “My whole life changed that day. I was nineteen - young, dumb, and aimless. But then there you were, and suddenly I had a purpose. So I keep it with me as a reminder for when I get a little lost.”

His knuckle brushed against her cheek, wiping away a runaway tear. “You are not an inconvenience. You never have been. And I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel that way. I’ll do better, I promise.”

There was no stopping the free-falling emotions that cascaded down her face. She was moving towards him before she had a chance to think better of it. Climbing into his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. He didn’t speak. He held her close, stroking her hair in reassurance, giving her space to feel.

When she calmed down, she pulled away, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her oversized hoodie. Anthony stood, smoothing out his now ruffled clothing. “I’ll leave you alone now,” he said with a smile.

The moment he turned to leave Hyacinth realized that’s not what she wanted at all. “Or… you could stay. Do you want to binge watch Love Island with me?!”

“Love Island?!” He was appalled. “Hyacinth, that is absolute trash TV. Utter brain rot.”

“Exactly,” she beamed. “That’s the appeal. Come on, Anthony. You can hate- watch it and complain the whole time. You know how much you love criticizing stupid people.”

Hyacinth lifted her blanket, inviting him to crawl in next to her. She laughed at his exasperated huff before he gave in and kicked off his shoes.

“Fine,” he conceded.

“Awesome,” she grinned victoriously. It was unnerving how much she looked like their mother when she looked at him like that. “Can we UberEats some McDonalds, too?!”

She had him right where she wanted him and she knew it. “Might as well,” he said, handing her his phone. “Garbage food to go with our garbage show.”

Even though he would rather pluck his eyes out than watch this show, he was content to just be here. Happy even. It was a moment worth remembering. Taking the phone she was handing back to him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. “Come here. I think we need an updated picture, don’t you?”

“Let me see,” she demanded. “If I look awful you have to delete it.”

“Whatever you say, your highness,” he chuckled softly.

“Aww! I love it,” she approved, sending the photo to herself. “You’re smiling.”

Anthony stared down at the photo contemplatively. She was right, it turned out nicely. He already knew the exact spot he wanted to place it on his desk.

The time on his phone caught his attention. It was already two o’clock and he was supposed to pick his girl up for dinner at half past six. He had been looking forward to seeing her all day but he didn’t want to cut his time with Hyacinth short.

Texting her the picture of him and his sister, he asked:

Anthony: Would you be opposed to pushing dinner back until 8:00? I’m on big brother duty.

She sent him back a gif of a cartoon cat with heart eyes.

Trouble: That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. We can reschedule for tomorrow if you want to spend the evening with your family. I don’t mind.

Anthony: I mind. I mind a lot. I want to see you. I’ve been thinking about it since I woke up this morning.

Trouble: Forget dinner, come straight to my place. I’ll feed you.

Anthony: What’s on the menu?

Trouble: Me.

He didn’t realize he had laughed out loud until Hyacinth asked, “What’s her name?”

“Who,” he played dumb, praying she hadn’t caught a glimpse at those texts.

Hyacinth rolled her eyes. “The girl that’s got you smiling like that. Duh.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s no girl,” he sidestepped. “And I’m not smiling.”

“You’re so smiling. Have you told her yet?” she prodded.

“Told her what?” He realized his mistake a moment too late.

“HA! So there is a girl! I knew it.” She poked him playfully.

“God, you’re nosy. Maybe even worse than Eloise.”

“That is the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me Anthony. But flattery doesn’t distract me for long. Soooo….?” she waited with unyielding patience for him to answer.

“Sooo?” he mimicked.

“Did you tell her yet?” She was relentless.

“Tell her?” Really though, what was she on about?

“That you love her…” 

His breath caught in his throat. “I… what? No…”

“But you do,” it wasn’t a question this time.

“Hyacinth…” he warned.

“Okay, okay. Will you at least tell me her name?” 

He took a minute to consider it. Was he ready? The bubble they existed in was fun and safe. Pressure free. The moment he let someone else in, it would raise the stakes. But isn’t that what he wanted - something real? She deserved that. 

“I’ll tell you, but this information is just for you. Understood?” She hooked her little finger around his in a silent promise. “Her name is Y/N.”

“Y/N…” she repeated. “She sounds beautiful.”

Anthony watched his sister with fascination as her eyes came alive with the romantic imagination that only existed inside the mind of a twelve year old girl.

Maybe one day he would remember how to see the world that way again too.

~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later, Anthony found himself fully immersed in the exploitative debauchery that was Love Island. Hyacinth had fallen asleep about thirty minutes into the first episode, now drooling safely on his chest, and left him to navigate the shallow dramas of the contestants’ lives. He’d never admit it out loud, but he could understand why someone might find their antics entertaining. It was so far removed from reality it was nearly impossible to look away.

He was about to make his predictions for this episode when there was a knock on the door.

“Hyacinth?” Violet called, opening the door. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

“Sshhh,” Anthony whispered. “She’s asleep.”

“Darling,” she greeted him warmly. “You’re still here. I thought you’d be gone by now. I thought you had plans, I didn’t mean to keep you from them.”

He waved off her concern. “It’s okay, I rescheduled. Besides, I think I’m right where I belong.”

“How is she,” Violet asked, feeling Hyacinth’s forehead with the back of her hand.

“I’ll let her tell you about it when she wakes up. She’s had a long day, but I think she’s hanging in there.” He smiled down at his snoring sister.

“I can see that,” his mother remarked as she observed the discarded candy wrappers littered across the bed. Her face transformed when she took in the sight of her children cuddled together so sweetly. “She misses you, you know?”

“I know,” he hung his head, averting his mother’s eyes. “I should have come sooner.”

Gentle fingers pushed his hair away from his face. “Well, you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

“Yeah. I guess…” It still felt like too little, too late. He had a lot to make up for, but this was a good place to start.

A stream of expletives sounded over the tv speakers when two of the contestants realized a betrayal. Violet turned her attention to the screen. “For God’s sake, Anthony! What on Earth are you watching? I hope you didn’t let your sister watch this rubbish. Those women are hardly wearing any clothes!”

“Really,” he smirked. “I hadn’t noticed.”

He got the exact reaction he was aiming for. 

“Hush,” she reprimanded before turning off the tv and leaving the room.

The room was silent now, the only sound was Hyacinth's steady breathing. He felt himself relax into the soft pillowy mattress. His lids began to droop, his mind slowed to a blissful hum.

He had been out in the cold for so long. It was good to be home…

_____________________________________

Tags: @faye-tale @eleanor-bradstreet @musicismyoxygen84 @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @heeyyyou @queenofmean14 @angels17324 @bridgertontess​