#also there's that one interviewer calling him 'daddy' repeatedly

[sweetprfct]

Written in the Stars

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You are a believer in fate but after getting your heart broken, you had stopped believing it. Until you met Joe. Suddenly, it got you questioning if fate is real or not.

Author's Note: I truly enjoyed going back and re-editing this story and re-publishing it. As per requested by everyone, I will be re-publishing Permanent December. It's my very first Joe fic series, so it's very special to me. Anyway, thank you for the support with this series! :)

Wordcount: 2.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten - epilogue

London, United Kingdom.

“Sofia? That’s the same name as Sofia!” 

Sara chuckled softly, pulling her ten year old daughter closed to her side. She brushed her brunette hair softly as Sofia said, “It is me.”

Sara chuckled again as she heard that small gasp, making Sofia giggle quietly too. 

“But what happened to the Prince and the Princess?” 

“Rosie, don’t be dumb. Isn’t it obvious? The story is about mum and dad.” 

Rosie pouted at her older brother as her warm brown eyes turned into puppy dog ones before burying her face on Joe’s chest. She sobbed quietly as Joe cooed her and pulled her close in his arms and brushed her brown curly hair. 

“Francis, what did I tell you about being mean to your little sister, and we don’t call anyone that word.” You told your six your old son, who was sitting next to you.

Francis hung his head low, his curls falling down his forehead as he let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Rosie.” 

The fireplace warmed the living room that all of you were sitting in. Snow was falling outside as Christmas approached the city of London in just a few days. The kids had been wanting to hear a story before bed and all night long, your four year old daughter had been repeatedly asking you to tell her a nice love story about a Prince and a Princess. Wes and Sara had dropped Sofia off at your house for the weekend since they wanted to go on a nice weekend getaway alone. You honestly didn’t mind since Sofia was such a sweetheart and very mature for her age. She loved to help you bake in the kitchen with Rosie, while Joe would watch television with Francis or play video games in the living room. 

“It’s okay.” Rosie pouted as Joe smiled down at his daughter, who was sitting on his lap. 

Rosie was a Daddy’s girl. Always had been since she was born. You always wondered why she was so attached to Joe even when she was just a few months old. As she grew older, you could see why. She looked like her father with those brunette curly hair and big chocolate button eyes, and she was starting to be like him too. Everywhere Joe went, she would instantly follow him, ask him questions about his job and how she could also be in the movies. When she was around two, she had given you the hardest time every time Joe had to fly to the States to do some interview or shoot a movie. Rosie would always stay by the window and wait for Joe. She would ask you a million times every day when Joe would come home. 

“Sweetheart, he’s gonna be here by Friday.” You would tell her. “In the meantime, why don’t you help mum bake some cookies, yeah?”

That was how you and Rosie had gotten closer. Through baking. She certainly still chose to hang out with Joe most of the time and even go with him on movie sets, so she could see how his movies were made. But you were glad that you had found something that you and your daughter could do together. Francis, on the other hand, was always next to you. He was always interested in what you do at work, asks you questions about how to make friends at school because he was a shy kid and sometimes, he would even ask if he could just stay home instead. You worry about Francis sometimes because he always had a hard time making friends at school. So, you always tried to understand him, but you also wanted your two children to get along since Francis always loved to tease Rosie. 

“Mum, what happened next?” Rosie asked again, her eyes then turned to gazed up at Joe.

Joe cleared his throat and said, “Well, one year later, they got married and then after that, they moved to London with your Uncle Wes, Aunt Sara and Sofia.” 

“Your mum was pregnant at that time with Francis.” Sara added. “She had the hardest time in the hospital.”

Francis gazed up at you and asked, “How come?”

“You just wouldn’t get out.” You chuckled, poking the tip of his nose lightly. 

“She was in the hospital for 18 hours.” Joe continued. 

“And you, my darling…” Joe tickled Rosie on her side, making her giggle and held onto Joe’s hand. “You were just too excited to get out that you were two days early.” 

Rosie clenched her small fist into Joe’s shirt as she tried to stand up on his lap. Rosie wrapped her tiny arms around Joe and hugged him tightly, making Joe smile and held her in his arms and softly rubbed her back. 

“Such a Daddy’s girl.” Wes commented, making everyone chuckle softly. 

“I love mum too.” Rosie pouted, laying her head on Joe’s shoulder as she yawned.

“I think it’s time for bedtime.” Sara got up from the sofa. 

“Yeah, I’ll put her to bed.” Joe got up from where he was sitting and went down the hall to set Rosie down for sleep. 

Joe set Rosie on her bed gently and pulled the covers over her, tucking her in as Rosie gave him a sweet smile and said, “One day, I want to have my soulmate.”

Joe laughed softly, kissing her forehead. “Not until when you’re 40.”

Rosie pouted at Joe’s little tease. “Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you.”

“Goodnight. I love you too, Dad.” Rosie smiled, closing her eyes and hugging her little stuffed teddy bear that was next to her. 

Joe stared at his daughter for a moment, brushing her hair softly. Tonight, looking back at his journey with you, he couldn’t help but think about something he read the other day in Sara’s bookshop. Sometimes, he still couldn’t wrap his mind that he has this family. That he has his beautiful family with you. It made all the wait and the complicated situations before seemed all worth it. 

“Dad?” Francis appeared at the doorway in his pajamas. 

Joe looked over his shoulder and got up from where he was kneeling. “Hey.”

“Mum said it’s bedtime.” Francis reached for his hand. “D… Do you think you could tuck me in?”

“I thought you said you were getting too old for that?” Joe raised his brow. 

Francis shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his feet. “Maybe… not.”

A small smile slowly tugged on Joe’s face as he picked up his son. Francis laid his head on Joe’s shoulder and said, “Dad?”

“Yeah?” Joe set Francis down on his bed and tucked him in. 

“Do you think… Will I ever make friends?” 

Joe looked down at his son. You and Joe had talked about this, and Joe knew how worried you were that Francis felt lonely at school. Joe could see it in Francis’ eyes too that he felt lonely and insecure over the fact that he was the only one who was always left out in school, especially during team activities because no one would pick him to join the group.

“Of course.” Joe reassured him. “You’re a wonderful person, and I know someone will see that. You know I was the same way before? Then, I met your Uncle Wes and ever since then, we were inseparable. Just like your mum and your Aunt Sara.” 

Francis’ expression suddenly lightened as he gave Joe a small smile. “Thanks Dad. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Joe leaned down to kiss Francis’ forehead before making his way to the door. “Oh, and if they don’t want to play with you, you always have me.” 

Francis smiled at his father before closing his eyes and went to sleep. Joe quietly closed the door behind him and made his way back to the living room, finding you and Sara talking to each other. 

“That sounds heavenly.” Joe heard you murmur to Sara. “I’m sure you two will have so much fun.” 

“Yeah, I think we kinda need it, you know?” Sara grinned. 

“Maybe you two will have too much fun.” You nudged Sara, teasing her as she felt her cheeks heat up. 

“Please.” Sara laughed softly. “Maybe.”

You gasped softly, surprised that she actually agreed. Your eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, I think it’s time.”

You let out a small squeal as you pulled her into a hug. “Then, definitely have so much fun.”

Sara laughed and turned to where Sofia was sitting on the sofa. “My sweet, come here.”

Sofia put her book down and walked over to where you and Sara were. You watched as Sara kneeled down in front of her and smiled. 

“We’ll be back in two days. Be good to your Aunt and Uncle, okay?” 

“Of course, mum. I love you.” Sofia smiled, giving her a hug. “I’ll miss you and dad.” 

Sara smiled, hugging her daughter. “We’ll miss you too.” 

“Okay, I think we have to go, darling.” Wes chimed in as he knelt down in front of Sofia also and pulled her into a hug. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you too, Dad.” Sofia smiled, giving both of her parents kisses on the cheek. 

“C’mon. I’ll put you to bed.”  You reached for Sofia’s hand. 

“It’s okay, Auntie. I can do it myself.” 

You raised your brows at Sara as she looked at her daughter proudly. You couldn’t help but chuckle and nodded your head. Sofia truly was so mature for her age, and Sara and Wes did raise her very well. You felt Joe’s hand on the small of your back as you both walked Sara and Wes out the door. 

“Well, you two have so much fun.” You gave them both a hug. 

“Thank you.” Wes smiled. “And thank you for taking care of Sofia.”

“Of course. She is so precious, and the kids love her when she’s around.” You said.

“Okay, well, we gotta go.” Sara and Wes gave the both of you one last hug before making their way to their car. 

You took a deep breath and closed the door behind you. You raised your brow at Joe when you saw him looking at you with his adoring eyes. 

“Come here.” Joe reached for your hand. 

“Why?” You laughed, sliding your hand in his. 

“Just come on.” Joe nodded his head towards the direction of the kitchen. 

You watched as he stopped in the middle of the kitchen and left you there as he walked over to the speaker and played a slow song for the both of you in a low volume.  

“Can I have this dance, miss?” Joe bowed his head at you with one hand reaching for yours. 

You laughed, shaking your head as you took his hand. You gazed up at him with a smile on your face, your eyes locking with his chocolate button ones. 

“That story was romantic, wasn't it?” Joe asked you the same question he had asked you back in New York when you heard Mr. Cheng’s story but this time, he was referring to your story with him.

You hummed softly and said, “It really was.” 

“You know I remembered something earlier. Something I read at the bookshop.” Joe murmured. 

“Yeah?”

“Did you know in Korea, there’s this thing called “In-Yun,” which means fate.”

“Oh god, Joe.” You laughed softly, shaking your head as the both of you continued to dance. 

“No, hear me out.” Joe chuckled. “They said that In-Yun is fated paths that entwine two people together throughout their past and future lives and they said even just a brush of a shoulder with a stranger, they said that it must mean they mean something to each other in their past lives. Then, they said that if you had married your soulmate, it’s said to be the result of 80,000 layers of In-Yun in over 80,000 lifetimes.”

You grinned, shaking your head. It had been so long since you and Joe talked about the whole “fate” thing. It also had been a while since you thought about it. You were just surprised that Joe still thought about it until now, especially that you were the one who loved to believe in those things before. 

“So, do you think we have 80,000 layers of In-Yun because we’re married?” You asked.

“I told you once that every path I tried to go to away from you, it always leads to you no matter what.” Joe murmured, the expression on his face turned into something serious. “Whether that’s in our past lives or in the future lives, I know no matter what the situation was, my heart will always lead back to you.” 

You smiled, stopping on your feet for a moment and leaned in to kiss him softly. “80,000 lifetimes.” You grinned. “That’s a lot.”

“Yeah.” Joe grinned. 

“I believe it too.” You replied. “I always have.”

“I love you so much.” Joe whispered.

“I love you too.” 

You grinned as he leaned down to kiss you deeply. You smiled through the kiss as he pulled you close to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Whether that was an invisible red string that connected you and Joe together or because you two have 80,000 layers of In-Yun in over 80,000 lifetimes, you knew that your path always had led back to his heart too. Pulling away from the kiss, Joe set his forehead on yours as you both continued to slow dance blissfully in the middle of your kitchen. 

“Your past and mine are parallel lines. Stars all aligned and they intertwined.” -Taylor Swift, All of the Girls You Loved Before

The End. 

********

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @munsonluvrr @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name @readergf @ladamari68 @1paire2vans @d4rk4ng3l86 @paleidiot @josephquinnsfreckles @readergf

[cyarsk52-20]

The fquck….

'VANDERPUMP RULES' ARIANA MADIX

SAYS TOM AND RAQUEL HAD SEX IN GUEST ROOM ... While She Slept Nearby

5/24/2023 5:23 AM PT

Ariana Madix says Tom Sandoval cheated on her with Raquel Leviss while they were all in the same house -- and even when Ariana was sleeping in another room!!!

The "Vanderpump Rules" star made the stunning revelation in her new interview with host Alexandra Cooper on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast.

In Wednesday's episode, Ariana explains Tom -- her former boyfriend -- and Raquel -- her ex-best friend -- were sneaking around behind her back and jumping into the sack with each other. And it was all secretly going on as the three were filming 'VPR' this past season.

Ariana put it like this ... "I think they had sex in my guest room while I was sleeping in my own bed that he and I went to bed in together and then he left the bed and went to the guest room and f***ed her."

Ariana also addressed speculation she and Tom had an open 9-year relationship. She said, "Honestly, I think [that rumor] came from him," meaning Tom.

She added Tom never told her they were not monogamous ... and, according to Ariana, they were still romantic, sleeping in the same bed and going out on dates -- even on Valentine's Day.

Then Ariana tackled Tom's claim he repeatedly tried to put the kibosh on their relationship. She says the two discussed calling it quits during an "hours-long" convo in which she threatened to abandon the reality show, move out of L.A. and deactivate her Instagram account.

And Ariana made one point abundantly clear ... she never wanted to kill herself even though Tom claimed she threatened suicide after their breakup. She said, "I was saying that this life will be over for me, because I'll go do something else... I'm not talking about physically harming myself."

Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix Together

Despite warning signs, Ariana admitted she ignored the fact Tom was hanging out more with friends at bars while she was sitting home alone.

She said, "I trusted in him so much... that I trusted his perspective on things, and I think I was caught up. I'm a smart girl and I could have dug deeper, but I didn't."

[firsttarotreader]

Unhinged reading request: does Pedro like that ET interviewer? Does she make him cringe? What are his thoughts when she repeatedly calls him Daddy? Do they have a crush on each other? Lmao I had to

Hello! Lmao! I first asked if he likes her, but not necessarily romantically, ok? Just making it clear before people get pressed over nothing... The Major Arcana were The Hanged Man, The Chariot and The Lovers.

The Hanged Man represents a moment where you stay still before deep diving, it's a moment of suspension before going all in. The Chariot right after shows us that at first he might have hesitated a little, but then things got on the right path, they clicked, and he did the deep dive. The Lovers means he probably does like her, and it became a harmonius "union".

The Minor Arcana were the 9 of Wands, 3 of Wands reversed and 9 of Pentacles reversed. 9 of Wands with The Hanged Man points to him being kind of hesitant, not feeling so confident around her, and the 3 of Wands reversed with The Chariot represents some blockage to all that deep diving and going the right way. It's once more some hesitating, like he's holding back and trying to stay in his comfort zone. The 9 of Pentacles reversed with The Lovers is very interesting because he does like her, but he feels somewhat insecure of himself, he questions his self-worth and he feels like maybe he's not good enough for the attention she gives him, like he doesn't deserve it.

So with these cards, I don't see him disliking her or her making him cringe, he might actually like her.

But why does he feel insecure and unsure of himself around her? To answer that, I used my Alice in Wonderland deck, and the first cards were the Page of Teacups reversed, the Queen of Flowers and The Magician.

Page of Teacups reversed followed by Queen of Flowers is so curious because it points to him possibly feeling like an overwhelmed boy near a Queen. This Page reversed seems to be looking at her with admiration, like in awe, and it brings out insecurity. The Queen of Flowers is a Star, she shines, she's strong, independent, attractive, sexy, she commands (and draws) attention and her presence might be too imponent and powerful around him, making him blush and stumble. The Magician could be telling us Pedro wants to impress her, he wants her to see he has something to offer, that he has "tricks under his sleeve".

The next cards were Ace of Hedgehogs, Page of Flowers and 6 of Hedgehogs. Ace of Hedgehogs followed by the Page of Flowers could be speaking once more of Pedro feeling like he needs to impress her, show her his potential, that he can be cool, exciting, a boy who is ready to try new things and full of energy and excitement. Also the one that can take the lead and take action when needed. 6 of Hedgehogs just reaffirms it, when it represents him trying to offer her something, to give her something of himself, like he's worthy of that attention.

The last cards were the 10 of Teacups, 8 of Hedgehogs reversed and 3 of Flowers. 10 of Teacups is the card of happiness and satisfaction, so he does enjoy their interviews and their banter. 8 of Hedgehogs reversed, however, is once more insecurity about it all, like he wonders if what he did was right, if he was able to look good enough for her. 3 of Flowers, in this context, might be pointing to him feeling like something was put out there and he is waiting to see how this is going moving forward, like how this will evolve and grow.

So, as a last question, I asked if they have a crush on each other. lol And the Major Arcana were The Hanged Man, The High Priestess reversed and Death reversed. The Hanged Man is again that feeling of the moment of suspension before deep diving, the moment of hesitation. The High Priestess reversed is very interesting because it's about an enigmatic person who always seemed mysterious, but all of a sudden they reveal something. This card often represents some kind of sexual tension too, since there is a switch in the dynamics of the subtle and mysterious Priestess. Death reversed could be about a cycle of fear and anxiety, fear that anything could change, and holding on to something, not wanting anything to change at all.

The Minor Arcana were the Queen of Pentacles, Knight of Cups and 2 of Wands. Queen of Pentacles could be representing a very feminine, self-confident woman, seductive, grounded, stable, and that's what makes him hesitate. Knight of Cups with The High Priestess reversed shows him coming up from a place of love and emotions, being lovely, affectionate, to show that he cares, to not hide it ("I'm alright, Mama!"). 2 of Wands with Death reversed shows us that there is a promise there, potential for something to start, but there is also a comfort zone and the need to not change anything, for things to stay the way they are.

All in all, I wouldn't say they have a crush on each other. There might be tension, but not a crush, although we do have a Knight of Cups there. What I see is that she shows up once more as a Queen, and Pedro is either a Page or a Knight, so she is still being seen as someone intimidating in a way because she seems too "powerful" for him and he is like a boy who wants to impress her.

[terrence-silver]

Do you have any unpopular opinions about TIG or any of his characters, no matter how small or random? I personally hate his character from that Avalanche movie, I think he’s annoying 😬 but he always gives a good performance and I love his other characters. Any for you?

I love Neal Meekum from Avalanche, though! 🥺👉👈

(Un)popular opinion is how I hated how TIG in interviews (especially early ones) always had to clarify how his role as Terry Silver was 'ridiculous', 'over the top', in 'need of revision' and whatnot, and I always felt irked and saddened because I didn't like how there was this expectation for him to overcriticize and bash the character he pretty much created out of scratch because that was the commonly accepted opinion. I have no memory of anyone else going through that? Did Chozen's actor go through that? Did anyone else? When you think about it, they're all pretty ''ridiculous'' then too. Like, just let the man say You know what, Terry Silver is actually pretty neat and very complex actually if one bothers looking and he always was, prior to Cobra Kai and certainly before, thank you very much. Luckily, newer interviews finally let him acknowledge that.

[bebepac]

Six Sentence Sunday 04.18.21

Original Post Date: 4/18/21 at: 10:36AM  EST

That time you made it to the second round of interviews for a new job. They contacted me on Friday asking my availability for the following week so that I could do my second interview.  When you think, I can do this.  I got this. I can rock this.  

Work has been crazy this past week.  So I can honestly say I haven’t been able to get much reading or writing done.   There have been more than one icky twelve hour workdays this week.  I will try to work through some of my older tagged stuff today that I haven’t made it around to yet.  Slowly but surely I’ll get to it. 

In case you didn’t get tags, because we all know how well those things behave, here is what I’ve posted in the last 10 days:

Mia’s World: Chapter 13:  Country Glitter

Just The Way You Are: Special: If You Lived

Here’s what I’m working on this week.  It’s not much, but it what it is.  

What are you guys up to?  @sirbeepsalot​ @ao719​ @darley1101​ @burnsoslow​

@axwalker @speedyoperarascalparty @sfb123 @jessiembruno​ @kaitycole​

And Then...There Were Two

The Meet: Chapter 1  (Greek Meat Prequel) 

The Book: TRR AU  (No Royals) 

Pairing:  Liam x ? 

Status:  Writing for this chapter is complete: 

"Garcon! Might you be able to procure my friend and myself two more flaming fire drinks?"

Liam laughed. "And your friend thinks I'm the waiter."

"Bebe exaggerates a lot when she's a little lit. It's part of her charm."

"I'm curious to know what's part of your charm, Jilian."

She glanced at the handsome chef. Was he flirting with her?

"But only for you would I go back to my bartender days and get you two beautiful ladies more drinks."

He winked at Jilian.

"I'll be right back."

In a few minutes Liam came back, with two new drinks for them.

"Jilian, you look woman of exquisite taste.  I am going to make you a dish with you in mind."

"Is this dish free?" Bebe inquired, raising her eyebrow.

"Actually it is. It is not even on the menu here. It's inspired by your beautiful friend Jilian. Let me get to it. I'll be back shortly ladies."

As soon as Liam left the room Bebe smiled.

"Girl!!! Our waiter is hitting on you! He could serve me a meal anytime!"

"Bebe he's not a waiter, he's the chef."

"Poe-tae-to , Poe-taa-toe. We'll see who brings us our meals."

Liam brought out  the appetizers first.

Bebe gave Jili a look.  

Pops' 🌎 World

Book:  TRR x The Freshman Series

Mia’s 🌎 World: A Special

Pairing:  Mia x Jaiden  (TRR MC x M!OC)

Status:  Still in the writing process. 

* the bolded words were taken from a poem.  I don’t own the rights to those.  I Trust You Will Treat Her Well by Dan Valentine

Pops was a simple man. But his feelings about that day were anything but simplistic. Pops' soul was a storm of emotions, happy, melancholic, and bittersweet, because not only had he given his daughter away to be married, but he was also gaining a son whom he loved dearly.

His eyes met with Mia's from across the room. She smiled at him, but as he refocused on her, he saw the little girl that loved to play dress up in Mommy's clothes and makeup.

Clearing his throat, Pops began to recite the poem. His confident voice was already shaky as he gazed across the room at his little MJ, his eyes already beginning to tear up.

"Dear World,

I bequeath to you today one little girl… in a crispy dress...with two brown eyes… and a happy  laugh that ripples all day long...and a flash of black hair that bounces in the sun  when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well."

He never knew the person who would completely change his whole entire world, his heart  was a little bouncing baby girl that weighed seven pounds and twelve ounces when she was born.

When he found out Gloria was pregnant Kelvin wanted a boy. That's all he thought about. Someone to play ball with, and fish with. He got the shock of his life when he heard those three words. It's a girl.

Mia was born a week before Christmas.  Gloria went into labor while they were at a Christmas party neither one wanted to attend. Labor was a fitting excuse for the pair to leave early. The one time in Mia’s life she showed up early. 

Gloria’s due date was Christmas Day.

When he first saw Mia's big brown inquisitive eyes, he knew she would be special. And Mia was, and she was the light of his world.

Mia’s first word was Pop.  The reason everyone called Kelvin “Pops”  was because of Mia.  When Mia started talking she said it repeatedly.  

Mia was definitely a Daddy’s girl. Mia took her very first steps following behind Pops.  He wanted his little MJ to stop growing.  

“Prim and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Good bye” and walk with little lady steps into the school house.”

It was  Pops that cried the first day of school when he waited with her at the bus stop.  They had always had a very special close relationship.

Tagging the Comments!

[morgana-ren]

Come Down to the Black Sea III

Summary: The sea seems to call to you, but it’s not the tumultuous clash of the waves you should fear. Something lurks deep beneath the black waters, something sinister with a piqued interest and ill intent.

Rating: Explicit 

Warnings: Siren!Shigaraki, graphic depictions of violence, heavy sexual innuendo, implied noncon, foul language, sexual tension you can cut with a knife, and just general sexual grossness. Joking daddy kink also, if you count that. 

PART I, PART II

Here you go! The third installment. Your seafaring friend finds your hot button and decides to plant some lovely ideas in your brain. Listening to them probably is not the smartest idea in regards to keeping your heart beating, but it certainly gets your thighs clenching. 

Taglist: @lemonzoey​, @babayaga67​

You know, it's really rough to explain to your superiors at work why you're so distracted when it happens to be because a mythical being is giving you the cold shoulder. 

You’re not entirely certain why it bothers you so much that your last encounter with him ended rather sour. He had made it perfectly plain from the get-go that his intent with you was far from pure. Murderous, in fact. He had almost drowned you on your first meeting and insulted you incessantly during your second. Not exactly a friendly track record. 

Regardless, he’s made a permanent home crawling beneath your human skin, like some itch you can’t scratch away. You can try to justify it however you’d like, but you can’t ignore the truth. In a word full of mundane existence, you’ve found an oddity and as much as you’d like to pretend you aren’t, you’re drawn to it. It’s part of why you returned to the beach despite the clear and present danger. You’d found a living, breathing mermaid. Even more impressive, you’d managed to piss him off.

Mermaid? Is that accurate? He’s so sensitive to being classified wrongly, but still never told you what he was. Considering the circumstances, maybe you should be a little bit more concerned about other things rather than offending him, but it still bothers you. 

Your ignorance isn’t due to lack of trying. You’ve done extensive research in the spare moments you have during the day, but nothing quite matches his description no matter how deeply you delve into the weirder parts of the internet, even going so far as to browse around on conspiracy sites on the darknet. Mermaid? Merman? Siren? Fish-guy? Some distantly related offspring to that Ripley’s Believe it or Not monkey fish? Relentless searching proved fruitless. Plenty of old sun-crazed fishermen claim to have seen merfolk in the waters or sirens on the rocks, but more often than not, it was a walrus or stage 4 sea madness. No one had a legitimate account of meeting with a real, intelligent creature of the deep. Nothing that came remotely close to him, anyway.

Despite being unable to focus at your job, getting home only doubles the anxiety. Restlessly sitting and twitching on the sofa, repeatedly trying and failing to read or watch some vapid TV show. You’re unable to keep your mind from returning to the ocean, to him no matter how hard you try. 

Over the course of time, you become acutely aware that staying home clearly isn't an option, but you're not really sure what to say to him if you see him again. Why do you even care? Aren't you supposed to be ignoring him? You can excuse your obsessive thoughts about him since most people would have the same reaction to seeing something supernatural not once, but twice in front of their very eyes, but a lot of people wouldn’t continuously return to see it especially if it was malevolent. 

You love that preemptively planning what to say to a sentient supernatural sea dweller is a part of your day. That's awesome. Can't look that one up on google. 

You’ll compromise with your compulsiveness instead. Go a little early and watch the sun set down over the horizon instead of watching the moon rise. Most parents won't allow their children near your rock because it’s slippery and dangerous, and frankly, you don't think he'll show up when others can see him. He’s deadly, but a mob of terrified parents and curious beach goers has few rivals. 

Maybe you can get your fill before he appears. It's better to keep away from him anyway. He wants you dead. 

He wants you dead, you remind yourself.

And so you do. Tread the sandy trail down to your favorite little hideyhole and plop down on the hard surface. You kick your feet absentmindedly on the rock beneath you, watching the small particles of sand splay and regather with every motion of your foot. The crash of the waves, still tumultuous and ornery, slap the side of your makeshift perch and splash you with speckles of water every few moments. You don't mind. You needed to shower anyway.

You can't help but feel a bit more lonely than normal, even surrounded by so many more people than you usually are. Flustered moms urge their children in from the shore to wipe them down with towels and flighty young twentysomethings hoot and holler, laughing loudly as they pile into their cars to find their next big spot for the night. The moon rises and the beach empties, leaving you alone again. The ocean settles, and even though it feels better, you feel alone.

You close your eyes, resting your head sideways on your knees with your arms buckled around your legs. You're close to the edge, precariously so. You just want to be close to the water. You should move back.

In. out. in. out. in. out. in. out.

The waves seem to move in line with the beating of your own heart, a tranquil feeling that dulls your restless thoughts and engulfs you in quiet solace. The hum of the ocean resonating deep within you with each breath you take of the briny air.

You're aware enough to recognize that the sound of the sea is luring you into a false sense of comfort. The darkness seeping over the horizon doesn't make it easier, and soon your slowly wandering mind is on the brink of unconsciousness. You're dangerously close to falling asleep, and given the circumstances, that probably isn't the best idea, especially since you're precariously close to the water. 

You can't help it, it's been one hell of a week. You haven’t slept. Haven’t relaxed. Haven’t felt at home in so long...

Listen, there's no guide online to look at that can help you through what to do when a malevolent fish-man hybrid has decided he wants to drown you. You can imagine it would say something along the lines of 'Stop going near the water then, dumbass' but that's like asking a religious person to stay away from church. It's the one place where you feel any semblance of peace, and you'll be damned if you're going to let the moonlight water marauder take that from you. 

Still, it makes things in your life exponentially more difficult when you can't explain to anyone what's on your mind. 

'Yeah, I met a mer...thing, and he's decided that he hates me and he wants to drown me, and that makes me sad. The one supernatural creature I get to meet and he doesn't like me. Bummer.'

They'd probably have you committed. That’s a bit much even for your eccentric proclivities. 

Your body occasionally jerks you awake, probably its way of saying 'You cannot sleep when there are enemies nearby', but it feels like it's been weeks since you've had a decent night's sleep. The endless procession of days marked by existential crisis with the tacked on bonus of being aware of the existence of a nefarious fairy tale creature makes everything feel awfully surreal. It feels as if you've been running on pure adrenaline and are about to crash. Hard.

If you were smart, you'd go home and try to bank on the feeling of sleepiness currently plaguing you, but you just can't bring yourself to move. Even barring the flaxen haired fish dude just chomping at the bit to drag you under, napping this close to the sea is a bad idea in general. Tides change rapidly and all it would take is a few minutes of you being unaware for the waves to snag you and haul you off to a watery grave. They'd probably never find you, just like the others who disappear here at night. 

But that's probably his doing, isn't it?

What does he do with the bodies exactly?

You really wish he wasn't trying to kill you, cause you have an endless list of questions you'd like to ask. What does he eat? Where does he live? Does he sleep at all?

Musing on all the things you'd like to know about him and his life leads you into fantasizing about being a talk show host interviewing him, and one thing leads to another and before you know it, you're conked out cold. You've managed to find an extremely awkward position to slump into, but even the horrid crick in your neck isn't enough to shake you from the dreamless slumber. Your body doesn't even have the energy needed to produce a dream, so instead, you just float through an endless void.

It could have been minutes, or even hours, really. You're not sure. The only thing strong enough to jar you awake is a sudden and intense feeling of dread that blooms in your stomach and gives you a form and sentience again. Your eyes snap open instinctively, and you're greeted with a pair of spiteful red eyes far too close to you for comfort.

"Jumping jesus-!" 

Surprised is a nice word for what you feel, an ugly screech emanating from your throat as you kick out your feet, knocking yourself over and almost falling in the water in the process. You hit your head nice and hard on a particularly jagged portion of the rocks, and by the time your vision undoubles, the danger is just barely settling in. 

Except danger is too busy cackling to be a threat.

You try to grapple with the panic in your chest and get a grasp on reality again after your literal rude awakening, but it's a bit rough when the sadistic jackass who perpetuated it in the first place won't stop laughing. Apparently he's too amused to take the opportunity to seize you, so you take the moment to scoot much further back and out of his reach, resisting the urge to plant your foot right on his stupid face.

Eventually he quiets down, but the grin never leaves his face. Much like everything about him, it's hostile somehow, mocking and disingenuous. 

"Humans really are so stupid."

"Joke is on you, tunabreath. You wasted the perfect opportunity to actually grab me." 

He shakes his head, tutting you. "I couldn’t resist. We like to play with our food too, sometimes. Scared ones taste better."

Is he implying he eats people? Okay, you know what? You don't wanna know. You doubt he'd be honest about it anyway, and would probably say whatever unnerves you the most. He seems a prick like that.

"I thought the entire point was to drown me and get it over with. You’re borderline obsessed with it."

He scoffs, little head fins twitching as he waves you off. "If I’m going to waste my time, don't make it so easy. It's less fun."

Okay cool, this is all a game to him; your life is a game to him. Nice. Fun. Great. 

Something on your face must have given away your ire, because he simpers at you and another raspy laugh bubbles in his chest. 

"It's not my fault you're stupid. You're the idiot sleeping next to the ocean when you know what's waiting for you when you get too close. It’s like you want me to devour you." 

"I thought after your little tantrum last night, you were gone for good. You really can throw a fantastic hissy fit."

That wipes the smile from his face.

“Little brat.” He taps a claw on the rock, narrowing his eyes at you. “Tough talk from someone afraid of getting a little wet.” He drags out the final word with a mocking tone, clicking his tongue against his fangs with the final syllable.

“For the last time, I’m not afraid of getting wet-” It takes it a second to sink in but wow this all sounds so wrong. Your face darkens and a familiar tingle worms itself in your gut. Are you really that lonely? “And don’t say it like that!”

His brows furrow and he studies you with a slightly quizzical expression. “Like what?” 

How do you explain to a dude who presumably has no cock and no human sexual experience about the sexual insinuations of human expressions? Wow. This is not a talk you thought you’d be having. The entire situation is weird, but this really sets the bar. 

“I know you’re probably not familiar with it, but that sounds... weird. It just sounds weird, okay?” 

“I don’t understand.” His lips curl downward in annoyance, arching a pale brow in your direction. 

“Look, when a human and another human... do stuff, things happen to their bodies and-“ a twisted sense of shame curdles your stomach and you go to scratch the back of your head, avoiding his eyes. Your words trail off somewhere mid sentence. If you were looking, you could practically see the gears turning in his head, but a few seconds later, his face pops in realization. 

“I’m fully aware of your human mating habits.”

“Don’t say it like that either! Jesus, you’re so awkward.”

A slow smile spreads over his face and he leans closer to you, tail swishing in a steady rhythm beneath the water. “Why? You’re over the ‘age of consent’, as it’s put, right? A sexually mature human female? Does it make you uncomfortable when I say things like that? Or does it make you something else?” 

He trails his claws in a walking motion towards your out of reach leg, and embarrassment isn’t a strong enough word for the emotion that colors your face as you recoil from his wandering fingers. “Knock it off!”

“Has it been a while since someone touched you, little human?”

“None of your business! You’re such a creep! And what do you know about it anyway? Don’t you fuckin’ lay eggs or something?”

He ignores your pointed jab, licking at his chapped lips as he runs his piercing eyes over you a bit too invasively for your liking. “You wanna know, huh? I can show you.” He reaches towards you again and you wiggle back a few more inches, caught between his words and the friction igniting feelings you’re desperately trying to ignore between your thighs.

“I’m getting mixed signals here. Are you trying to drown me or fuck me?” 

“Who says I can’t do both?” He tilts his head, gaze lingering on your lips before drifting down to your chest without shame. His attention still feels utterly predatory, but for a different form of predator entirely. “Your death doesn’t have to be entirely painful, you know.” 

“S-stop it.” 

He’s giving you whiplash with his intense mood swings, but you can’t deny the less than appropriate places his words drag your mind to. Heat ignites inside you, warmth spreading through your navel as your cheeks burn deeper than they did before. You will it away, trying to shake loose the thoughts from your mind. No fucking way are you even considering this.

“Look, even if our bodies were compatible, which they aren’t, it’s not like you wanting to kill me is a turn on.” 

He gives you another lilting grin, flicking his tongue and hissing in a foreign laugh. “Are you sure? I know that some of your kind are into that sort of thing. Hard. Rough. Dangerous. And judging by your face-“ 

Another bout of blood colors your cheeks so intensely that you can literally feel it. Oh God, make it stop. 

“-You might be.” 

“Shut it, shark bait!” 

“And who’s to say we’re not compatible? I know plenty. Something about the beach is an aphrodisiac to you humans. Not to mention~” Another grin, but this one gives off the undeniable air of ‘I know something you don’t know.’ “You have no idea what I can do.”

You can’t help but look back at him as he says it and you can tell he means every word. The unnatural scarlet glow of his eyes seems far too welcoming, calling to you like some sort of beacon in the darkness. The soft gleam of his silvery hair in the moonlight far too inviting. You want to touch it, wonder what it would feel like entwined between your fingers, what it smells like and how those claws would feel like scratching against the sensitive skin of your ass as he holds you steady against his hips.

You bet those fangs aren’t just for show, and judging by his attitude, he’s probably not afraid to use them. You bet they’d feel all sorts of nice scraping and digging into your flesh, biting you and licking that thick tongue up and over your neck, maybe even a bit lower if you asked him nicely. He’s so lithe, so strong, he’d have no problem fucking you against the rock even with the water resistance. His slick skin rubbing against yours, webbed hands squeezing your waist, kneading your tits, pressing the rounds of your neck until you gave yourself over to him completely and the taste of him is the last thing you ever knew.

Okay, you admit it. You are really curious to see just what it is he can do. You’d probably be the first human in history to find out, the first girl to be fucked to literal death by a siren. Would it really be such a terrible way to die? Being dragged under metaphorically and physically and spending your last moments in pleasure wholly unknown to the moral realm?

He smiles softly, watching you toss it around in your mind as he cradles his head in his palm. He’s beautiful, and you loathe it. You hate that you’re even considering this, even toying with the thought as if it’s really an option. What the hell are you doing? This is complete madness!

“You aren’t serious, are you?” 

He gestures you forward seductively, nibbling gently on his scarred bottom lip, keeping your eyes squarely trained on his mouth. “Come a little closer and find out. I promise I bite. Extra hard if you beg.”

Another clench between your legs. Shake it loose, shake it loose! “Look, even if I believed for a split second you wanted to seduce me, you really think I’m going to literally die for the chance?”

“What else are you going to die for?” 

Oddly deep. Not a thought you wanted to ponder right now. Expertly deflect it with sarcasm and ignore the fact that he has a very good point.

“Of old age, in my bed, surrounded by loved ones and piles of money I didn’t get the chance to spend yet.” 

He scoffs, blowing air through his nose. “Sure.”

“Just what is that supposed to mean?” 

He shrugs, shucking aside your irritation. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” 

“Prick.” 

He giggles, finding your crass human mouth oddly endearing. “Well, the offer stands. I told you I’m not going anywhere until you're under the water with me.” He pauses, considering you for a moment before grinning darkly. “I might just do it anyway, but it’s better if you’re willing. Not that I’ve ever been averse to a little struggle.”

“What?”

“It’s hard to say no when you can’t speak. I could easily bypass this little game of playing hard to get, but I want to see you squirm.” He eyes between your legs and you pray to the Gods that he thinks the dampness residing there is because of the watery environment. “I want to see you beg before the light goes out in those pretty eyes.”

“You’re a fucking perv!”

“I told you I’m going to watch you drown, you really put it past me to not take other forms of satisfaction from you while I’m at it?”

He presents a good point. You resent the fact that you don’t entirely feel repulsed by the thought. You should. You should be mortified and terrified and other words that end in ‘fied’. You should run and never come back. You know you should. 

You lean forward. 

“I’d like to see you try, fish boy.” 

A strangely genuine smile spreads across his lips and his face seems to light up at your words. It's still menacing, but oddly cute; like a child getting ready and excited to play their favorite game. 

"You really think you can win this, huh?" He muses, looking up at you through those pale lashes. "You sure are something, little girl." 

"What do I have to lose? If you win, you kill me, and whatever else, but I won't care, because I'll be dead. If I win, I get to see that arrogant smarminess wiped off your face when you don't get what you want. You'll have wasted all this time for nothing, and I guess that's a small consolation prize alongside my life."

“Time means nothing to me, but if it makes you feel better about the situation.”

From the way he says it, you don't deny it. It dawns on you that you really know nothing about his people. Do they age like you? Do they age at all? 

“How old are you?” 

"Older than you by far, I promise. What a rude question. How old are you?" 

“Old enough. But that doesn’t answer my question. Don’t deflect.”

"No manners, you humans." He ponders it for a minute. "You count the passing of time in revolutions around the sun, right? I'd bet I had been an adult for a very long time while you were still learning to walk on wobbly little legs." 

It's your turn to laugh now, and he doesn't seem amused. "You're an old man! Ew! You're an interspecies cradle robber!"

"I'm not old! We live exponentially longer than you! I'll still be in my prime when you're an elder!" His pallid face is dusted slightly red in frustration, and it's almost funnier than his reaction. 

"Whatever you say, grandpa! Do you have an undersea walker? Drink sea prune juice? Is that why your hair is silver? Cause you're old?"

Self consciously, he strokes the front of his long bangs between his fingers. "No! You're an immature little brat!" 

"Back in my day~" You barely dodge a swipe from one of his claws as he jumps as far forward as he can and swings at you. "Careful gramps, you don't wanna hurt yourself. You’ll break a hip or whatever it is you have."

He sneers at you and you bask in the minor victory.

You sit in silence; him with a scowl tightly pulled across his thin lips, and you with a smug little grin. So it’s not impossible to get under his scales. 

He’s a world class pouter, you’ll give him that. He doesn’t strike you as vain, but this is probably uncharted territory for him; actually talking to a human and subsequently being made fun of for his age. He’s probably not used to being mocked in any sense of the word, seeing as he’s a ‘non existent’ mythical creature. Maybe his kind are prideful, if a little childish. He claims to have existed for ages, but he still has the mannerisms you’d attribute to a male around your age. Maybe a tad immature and explosive himself. You guess some things don’t change with the species. Aggression, domination, and sex. And murder, in his case. 

Some things are universal, it seems. 

He’s making a show of ignoring you now, clicking his claws together in a subconscious attempt to threaten you. They are awfully sharp. You swear looking at them makes the gashes on your arm start to ache all over again. Occasionally the fins on the side of his head twitch in an almost catlike manner, turning toward whatever source of sound can be heard. It’s so strange to you, you can’t help but stare. He looks ethereal, even as impudent as he’s acting. With the backdrop of the ocean and the moon behind him, he looks like a painting that belongs in a gallery. You can’t stop yourself from leering at him.

You’re trying to ignore the fact that he definitely takes notice. 

He's angry at you, displeasure still slightly evident in his face, but a small smile crooks his lips. You've clearly offended him but your leering goes a little way towards soothing the hairs you've rubbed the wrong way. For whatever reason, knowing you find him attractive puffs his feathers- er, scales- with pride. Body language relaxes between the two of you and a few minutes of quiet follows. 

Yet, it's difficult to keep a pleasant silence when the company you keep is far from familiar. This isn't two friends relaxing on a beach; at least unless most friends are malevolent ocean dwelling creatures with an end goal of filling the other's lung with sea water. 

The lack of noise makes you antsy, almost like you're anticipating something but you're unsure of what. It feels false somehow, like you're trying to turn this isn't something it isn't; comfortable. No matter how his casual demeanor tries to lull you into a false sense of security, you have to remain vigilant. One little slip and he'll drag you into a watery grave- among other things if he was serious. 

“So… What do you eat?”

He slow blinks at you a few times before grinning, light glinting off his all-too-sharp fangs. “You mean besides you?”

There’s multiple implications to that, neither one of which you want to ponder for various reasons. Your panties are already uncomfortably damp.

“Yes. Besides us.”

Shrugging, he flicks at a small pebble on the rocks edge and plunks it into the water. "Same thing you would if you were one of us. There's plenty of fish down here, only difference is I can eat them raw." 

Your nose crumples and you stick your tongue out slightly, imagining him taking a bite out of a still-twitching fish. "Ew."

He rolls his eyes, brushing your obvious disgust aside. "If I recall, don't you humans have multiple dishes you eat raw?"

"Well, I mean, yeah, but it's different. We actually prepare it."

"Sounds like a whole lot of fuss over nothing. Your weak stomach just can't handle it and mine can, and you seem to find that to be some sort of bragging point. Also, don't you humans have a tendency to put things in your mouth that don't belong there?" 

“Didn’t I already tell you to shut up about that?” 

"I don't know, I'd say the occasional raw fish is a lot less dirty than a human male c-"

“Oh my god! I am so sorry I fucking asked!”

He cackles loudly and you realize that he's officially found your hot button. Even worse is he knows it. "I mean that's not to say we don't have our own filthy habits, but you guys are inspiring-"

"Dude! Make like a tunafish and can it! I don't want to hear any of this!"

"Oh? Is that so? Because around 10 minutes ago, you were half ready to rip your clothes off and jump in here and let me try you even if it meant your death."

"Momentary lapse in judgement. Don't get too excited, grandpa." 

He frowns again but seems less offended now that the initial moment had passed. "If you insist upon calling me a nickname pertaining to my age, I'd prefer daddy."

All humor drops from your face. How the fuck does he even know about that? 

As if he can read your mind, he responds. "A lot of you humans like to reproduce here. I've seen quite a bit and heard even more. Like I said, you’re absolutely filthy creatures.” 

“Ah. Yeah. That makes sense.”

“My offer stands. Come a little closer and I’ll show you just what I learned.”

“Creep.”

“That makes two of us, now doesn’t it?”

"I'm not the one bringing up sex every 3 seconds."

Hey, do you know how awkward it is to be having this conversation? With him? Right now? Do you know how utterly surreal this is?

“No, but you’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

Your cheeks burn and you know it doesn't matter what you say. Your face is a dead giveaway. He knows it too, crossing his arm and arching a cocky brow at you. 

“And I’m the pervert, huh?”

You wrap your arms around your legs again in a subconscious show of defense. "Yes, you are. This is a natural response to embarrassing topics. Topics you keep coming back to." 

He shrugs again, his head fins twitching a few times. "I don't deny my nature. If I feel lustful, I act on it. Another reason you humans are inferior. You deny what comes naturally in the name of some form of... shame, is it? I have no bonds holding me back, while yours are pointless and dictated by some invisible and shallow form of ‘morality’ and ‘purity." 

He’s… technically right. Still.

"You realize you're saying this to the person you're trying to kill, right?" 

"I'm aware. Consider it a parting gift. You can feel what it's like to be untethered before I end you."

You roll your eyes so deeply that you’re almost certain you’ve detached the retina. “Oh, how very kind of you. So thoughtful.” 

"It’s not entirely altruistic, but it's better than I was originally planning. I was just going to rip you apart the second I pulled you in. Of course, that was before I got a good look at you. It'd be a shame to waste such a pretty thing without getting a taste first.”

It's a twisted compliment, but you appreciate it, at least as much as the circumstances allow. 

“Thanks…  I think?” 

"It's a good thing, I promise. I won't just touch anyone, you know. Most of your kind repulses me. I'm not an easy please." 

"Oh." Another awkward silence. "What makes me so special, anyways?"

His face blanks over, eyes hardening and mouth pursing in a tight line. He opens his lips a few times to speak, but seemingly stops himself. His expression flashes confusion, then rage, then apathy in quick succession. "I don't know. It won't matter for long anyways, soon you'll be dead and I can move on." 

“Not if I win.”

"You won't. I don't lose. Besides, I've already almost gotten you twice. It's only a matter of time before you slip up again, and I'll be there to catch you when you do."

"Put it like that and it almost sounds sweet." A smile tugs at your lips despite yourself. 

His face flushes and he looks away from you, expression contorting. “It’s not. Don’t twist my words.” 

“Spoilsport. Go eat a mackerel or something. You’re not yourself when you’re hungry. Or maybe you are. Either way, you’re cranky.”

"It's hard not to be cranky when there's a meal right in front of me and I can't indulge."

"Quit threatening to eat me. I get the point, it's just weird.”

His thick tongue flicks out and runs across those glimmering teeth and he just smiles. "Who said anything about eating?" 

“Give it a rest.”

He swipes a small amount of water at you with his thumb and forefinger. "Deny it all you'd like, you enjoy the attention." 

"Definitely. I love being the first human to be hit on by the world's first mermaid fuckboy."

A hybrid mix of a groan and a growl rumbles from his chest. "I'm not a fucking mermaid!" 

"Oh, sorry!" The sarcasm is palpable, and he scowls at you again. You love the fact he doesn't deny the secondary insult. "I meant merman." 

"Don't insult me. As if your petty, unimaginative fairytales could even come close." 

"You have a tail, you live underwater, and you're half human. Sounds pretty damn close to me." 

The look on his face is as if you just forced him to swallow something extraordinarily disgusting. "You have no idea what I'm capable of. And I'm not half human. You're half us."

Now that takes you off guard. 

“What did you say? What do you mean?”

"It doesn't matter." He pushes himself away from the rocks, his tail slightly flapping above the surface. "Besides, you were right. I am hungry. I should probably find something to eat for tonight, unless you’ve changed your mind." He doesn’t bother waiting for you to retort before skillfully diving down back beneath the waves.

You want to stop him, but he’s gone before you can think of a creative way to say ‘hell no’. The slight dash of silver hair makes out towards the horizon and before long, he's gone. As always, he leaves you feeling more frustrated than anything. 

You want to stay, to enjoy the ocean like you used to before he barged his way into your life, but it all just feels too strange now. He won't return tonight, you know that much. 

Heaving yourself off your asleep butt, you begin your bowlegged walk back to civilization, left with nothing but the ache of a cramp in your hips and a strangely heavy feeling in your gut.

[fandoms-and-things]

So someone told me I should actually post my psychology assignment for adolescent psych...

Pop Culture Assignment

The long-running TV show, Supernatural, follows the story of two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, who repeatedly save the world from demons, monsters, angels, vampires, and any other number of mythical creatures. The show begins by flashing back to their childhood with the death of their mother as she bursts into flames on the ceiling above the cradle of the younger brother, Sam. Sam, Dean, and their father, John Winchester survive the fire and we later learn that it was all caused by a demon. From that day forth John Winchester makes it his life mission to avenge the death of his wife and begins spending his life as a “hunter” for supernatural creatures in the hopes that one day he’d come across the one that killed his wife. However, travelling from motel room to motel room back and forth across the country, facing dangerous creatures day in and day out is no healthy way to raise two children and this comes across very clearly in the parenting styles John uses and especially in how they affect the development of the elder son, Dean.

Supernatural is a show that has a very large fan following and thus has people all over the world dedicating hours upon hours a week to it - creating fanart, writing novel-length stories, or even analyzing the character’s every action to figure out their intrinsic motivations. Thus, in my analysis of the character of Dean Winchester and the effect his father’s parenting had on him, I would like to take into account the more popular subplots that fans have collectively believed to be true even if it is not directly evident in the media.

Parenting styles play an important role in the development of children to adolescents and beyond through the rest of their lives. There are four main parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglecting. Authoritative consists mainly of high acceptance and high control, they are controlling but flexible such as making reasonable demands and explaining why they have those rules. Authoritarian parents have high control and low acceptance and are often highly restrictive, rely on punitive, forceful tactics, and are not sensitive to their child’s or viewpoints. Permissive parents practice low control and high acceptance - being very lax with establishing and enforcing rules and making few demands at all. Finally, neglecting or uninvolved parents are low control/ low acceptance, being extremely lax and may have either rejected their children or been completely overwhelmed by their own issues to worry about caring for their children All four parenting styles have different effects on the person they’re being used to parent. Authoritative parenting often leaves children in the best case scenario all around: happy, socially responsible, self-reliant, achievement-oriented, etc. Authoritarian parents leave children commonly less independent, less assertive, less achievement oriented, aimless, and unhappy. Permissive parents create children who may be impulsive, aggressive, bossy, self-centered, and lack self-control. Neglectful parents have children who are commonly aggressive, have behavioral problems, poor academic performance, hostile, and a higher likelihood of delinquent acts. These are only the beginnings of the effects the style of parenting used can affect their kids.

On Archive of Our Own, a popular fanfiction website, the tag “John Winchester’s A+ Parenting” has nearly 3,400 works posted. This tag is used in obvious satire as John Winchester often flip-flops between Authoritarian and Neglecting parenting styles. As the boys were growing up, John often gave them some money for food and then left them alone in various motel rooms for days on end as he went on trips to hunt the various supernatural creatures. Dean was always left in charge of his younger brother in these moments. Dean made it his job to take care of Sam to the best of his ability, and would sometimes have to forgo food for himself for days in order to keep his brother well fed. On at least one occasion, he had to resort to stealing food after the money he’d been left not being enough to last them as long as their father was gone, and when his father came to get him after he’d been caught he told the police to “let him rot in jail”. Dean grew to end up being the closest thing to a real parent figure for his brother; one Christmas, Dean lied to his brother saying that his father had come over night, decorated their dingy motel room and left presents, instead, Dean had done all this himself and stolen the presents from a house down the street to give to his brother. In later adolescence, Dean can be seen gambling and hustling pool, and his actor in one interview even suggests that he may have taken to sex work at some points to make extra money. These instances help display the neglecting side of John Winchester’s parenting and how it led Dean to commit delinquent acts. Dean also never graduated from high school and has a history of anger issues, all possibly stemming from neglectful parenting.

On the other hand, when John Winchester was around, he undoubtedly took on an authoritarian parenting style. He was a “my house, my rules” kind of guy, or in this case, “my car, my rules” since they spent so much time on the road. He had both boys call him “sir” and demanded them to “follow his direct orders” all of the time and would scold them if they stepped out of line, even resorting to physical discipline. John also taught Dean how to shoot before he was even ten years old. One day when their family-friend, Bobby, was babysitting them, he got scolded on the phone by John for playing catch with Dean instead of doing target practice with a shotgun. Growing up, Dean thought his father was a hero for hunting monsters and grew to idealize him and be the most loyal son he could be. Because of this, while father was still alive, Dean never really got the chance to develop emotional autonomy, his father would have found it disrespectful to ask for any kind of freedom and since Dean always wanted to please his father, he never even asked. Throughout the series, Dean is repeatedly referred to as his father’s “good soldier” or “Daddy’s blunt little instrument” insinuating further that Dean was extremely affected by his father’s authoritarian parenting style. Additionally, John Winchester also used some psychological control - influencing his child’s behavior by ignoring, discounting, belittling, withholding affection, and injecting shame and guilt. In one episode, Dean immediately knows his father is possessed because John said he was proud of Dean and Dean knew that would never happen under normal circumstances. Additionally, John is a man very preoccupied with being the “manliest man” he can be and made sure to instill this in his children at a young age and would use various language to belittle his sons showing any signs of weakness like by saying “stop being such a girl”, etc. Many fans have analyzed that Dean Winchester is bisexual and agree that this belittling would be the main cause of Dean’s internalized homophobia that he may not even come to terms with until in his 40s. All of this as well caused a lot of internalizing and externalizing issues for Dean, shattering his self-esteem and making him afraid to be open with his emotions. Overall, I would say that John Winchester’s two negative extremes in terms of parenting style greatly impacted the overall wellbeing of his sons and especially his eldest, Dean.

[babygirl-diaz]

Caught Up and Confused- Part 2

(You can find part 1 over here)

TW: Implied Child Death

***

Sam drops on the edge of the hotel room bed and pinches the bridge of his nose. I hate you so much and I love watching you suffer. Bucky's words ring in his ears repeatedly. Sam takes out his phone from his pocket and browses through the few photos of Bucky and himself he still has on there. He stops on the one where they were at a bar. Sam had his arm around Bucky’s shoulders and the two of them were talking about something while broadly smiling at each other, lost in their own world.. That was one of the last times they were genuinely happy.

***

One Year Ago

“Daddy! Noooooo!!!” Riley squeals as she runs through the park, her mop of curls bouncing, as Bucky chased after her.

“I’m gonna get you!” Bucky could easily catch her, but he was deliberately running at a slower speed to let the 3-year-old win.

Sam watches them in awe and takes out his phone to capture the moment. The collective laughs of his husband and his daughter make his heart melt.

“Awwww what a cute family!” Sam hears someone say, which makes his smile grow even wider.

“Wait… isn’t that--”

And just like that, he was recognized. It isn’t long before a group of 20-something year-olds come over to him and ask for autographs and selfies with him which Sam graciously provides.

“You done, Superstar?” Bucky asks, walking over to him with Riley in his arms. The toddler has her head on Bucky’s shoulder. “This little Superstar is falling asleep.”

“You guys make the cutest family, Sam,” says one of the Captain America fans with a smile that makes Sam feel a little uneasy. There was something eerie about that man. Sam’s sure he’s seen him quite a few times before.

“Sorry,” Sam whispers when the fans are out of earshot. He knows Bucky doesn’t like being hounded by fans when they are out having family time, but Sam was bad at saying no.

“It’s okay,” Bucky shrugs as he walks around with Riley, gently thumping her back as he tries to put her to sleep. .

“Let’s go home. It’s been a long day.” Sam packs up their stuff and gets up kissing both his daughter and his husband on the head.

***

Sam was supposed to be recuperating at home after breaking his arm during the last mission, but his PR agent called and claimed that Sam just had to do a few last-minute interviews with the other Avengers and Sam couldn’t say no. Again. The interview ended up being longer than Sam would have liked and by the time he got out and turned his phone on; he noticed there were 20 missed calls.

Sam’s heart skipped a beat, wondering why his husband would call him so much. There are also calls from an unknown number, but Sam ignores it and calls Bucky. “Buck, what’s wrong? What’s with all the missed calls?”

“Please tell me Riley is with you,” Bucky replies.

“Of course, she’s not with me. I was in interviews the whole day. Is she not with you?” Sam’s hands and feet suddenly become icy cold and his heart pumps hard in his chest.

“I left you a message earlier, asking you to pick her up because I had to reschedule my therapy session today. I thought you were at home!”

Right at the moment, Sam gets another incoming call, but he ignores it.

“Did you check the daycare?” Sam asks

“Of course, I did!” Bucky yells. “They said you sent your PR agent to get her. Isn’t he on the approved list of people to pick her up?”

“Yeah… but Kevin has been here at the interviews the whole day. He didn’t go anywhere.”

There is a beep on the other end, indicating another incoming call. It’s the same number from earlier. Sam doesn’t know why, but he feels like he should answer it. “Bucky, I have another incoming call.”

Ignoring what Bucky has to say, Sam answers the call and the first thing he hears is “Papa!”

“Riley.” Sam gasps

“Hello, Sam,” says an unfamiliar voice on the other end.

Sam’s heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach. “Who is this?”

“That’s not important. What’s important is that I have your daughter.”

Sam’s hand shakes and as does his voice as he asks, “Wh-- what do you want?”

“To meet you. I’ll send you the address and instructions. Follow them exactly and you will have your daughter back.”

***

Present Day

Sam goes back to Bucky’s apartment and tries the buzzer, but no one answers this time. Either Bucky knows it’s him and he’s ignoring him or he is out, Sam figures. Deciding he has no other options, Sam makes the call he hoped he wouldn’t have to. “Joaquin, hey,”

“Sam? Where have you been all day? I was worried sick!” Joaquin answers.

“Joaquin, I— I need a favor,” Sam replies nervously.

“Yeah, of course, anything for you.”

Sam hates taking advantage of him like this, but he was the only one who could help him. “Can you trace Bucky’s phone for me?”

There is silence on the other end, and Sam wonders if Joaquin has hung up.

“Joaquin?” He calls out

“I’m here…” Joaquin replies slowly. “Why do you wanna trace Bucky’s phone, Sam?”

“He won’t talk to me. I need to know where he is’”

There’s another pause before Joaquin says, “Sam, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Joaquin… please,” Sam begs

“Is this about the divorce papers? You do know there are other ways for you to get him to sign them, right?”

“I can’t afford a lawyer,” Sam reminds him. “And neither can Bucky. This is the only way.”

“Sam--”

“Joaquin,” Sam interrupts him. “I just--- I also need to know that he’s okay. We had a fight earlier today.” Telling Joaquin that he worried about Bucky probably wasn’t the best idea, but he just wanted to be honest with the man.

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Joaquin asks, sounding worried.

“I don’t,” Sam answers without missing a beat. It was true. Sam didn’t have feelings for his former husband anymore. He just cared about the man somewhere deep down, but that’s as far as it went.

Joaquin sighs and Sam can hear him typing something away on the other end. “He is in Hell’s Kitchen. At some bar called Josie’s. I’ll send you the address.”

“Thanks, Joaquin. I owe you one,” Sam says, gratefully.

“And Sam?” Joaquin calls out in a tender voice.

“Yeah?”

“Take care of yourself.”

“I will,” Sam assures him and smiles to himself before hanging up.

***

When Sam arrives at the dingy hole-in-a-wall bar, he scrunches up his nose. Why Bucky would feel the need to come all the way out here to get drunk was beyond him. Sam finds the place empty when he enters, and it doesn’t take him long to spot Bucky. He’s hunched over at the bar, nursing a bottle of beer. He isn’t alone, though. Sam spots a familiar face next to him and slowly approaches the two.

“Misty. Bucky.”

Both of them look up at him with equal looks of surprise on their faces.

“Sam!” Misty greets. “Wow, what are you doing here?”

“How did you find me?” Bucky demands, his voice rough and accusing.

“You knew he was in town?” Misty asks. “And you didn’t tell me.”

“Didn’t think it was important,” Bucky grumbles.

“Your ex-husband, my friend, is in town and you didn’t think it was important to tell me.” She smacks Bucky upside the head before jumping out of the stool. She pulls Sam into a tight hug and Sam returns her hug with as much enthusiasm. At least someone is happy to see him. Sam looks at Bucky over her shoulder. But the man doesn’t even acknowledge him. Sam doesn’t know why, but that hurts.

When they pull apart, Misty keeps her hands on Sam’s shoulders. “Lemme take a look at you. You left New York 7 months ago and pretty much disappeared from the face of the Earth.”

“And that really surprises you?” Bucky scoffs, keeping his gaze on Misty.

“Bucky--” Misty says as a warning.

“Ask him if he visited her.”

Sam feels his throat tighten up at that.

Misty gives him a sympathetic look, which makes Sam want to cry even more.

“I didn’t. I can’t,” Sam lets out a choked reply.

“Oh, Sam.” Misty places her bionic arm on his shoulder.

“Well, imagine living here then.” Bucky snaps. He throws cash on the bar and gets out of his seat. When he tries to walk past Sam, Sam grabs him by the arm.

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” He apologizes desperately. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save her.”

[piratejenna]

Ace Attorney: Amazing Race

Continuing this post (has the team breakdowns) about an Ace Attorney Amazing Race: Ok so I have a scene (kind of) and a challenge pretty well mapped out, but we’re gonna start with some general shenanigans while I polish that up. Here’s some bits I have for Apollo and Trucy throughout the race.

In the first leg, we see Apollo getting into the driver’s seat of their car, and asking Trucy for her hat.

[Interview] Apollo: yeah, I know how to drive. It was just more cost effective in school and when I started working to ride a bike instead of paying for a car and gas money. But I guess since Mr. Wright bikes to work and doesn't know how to drive, everyone assumes the same about me. Trucy: we’re not sure what kind of advantage that is, but we are going to use it. 

[Cut to them in the car. Apollo has his hair swept back under the hat. Trucy has on his sunglasses and her hair pulled to the side.]

[Interview] Apollo: I have no idea why this is working so well. I mean, Trucy’s just 16, and it’s not like Mr. Wright is teaching her. Trucy rolls her eyes: of course Daddy’s not teaching me. Uncle Miles is.

[Cut back to car] Trucy is leaning over the front seat: oh my gosh, go faster! Apollo: I am going the speed limit. Trucy: if I was driving, I would be going faster than this.

[Interview] Apollo: apparently Trucy and I look a lot alike (he shrugs). Trucy: I mean, I do a very good Polly impression… Apollo: but it’s a little too easy for her to trick people. Trucy: plus one time Daddy kissed Polly goodbye instead of me when he was wearing my hat. Apollo turns red and starts sputtering: we do not need to remember that! Trucy (still to the camera): it was pretty funny. Apollo: it was not funny!

There’s some drama at the start of one leg because Apollo and Nick both run out of hair gel. 

Nick has his beanie with him, though he informs the camera that he spent 7 years not gelling his hair and he does not want to go back to that. Maya repeatedly calls him an old man for not being able to function without his hair gel.

Nick: hair gel is not an old man thing! My employees use hair gel! Maya: would that employee be Apollo? Nick: … yes. Maya: doesn’t count. Apollo is an old man too. 

Nick later to the camera: hair gel is not an old thing. I’ve been using it since middle school. I gelled my hair the most during college!

Apollo is very unhappy about not having hair gel, but Trucy convinces him to deal with it by saying she won’t wear her hat (which she has inextricably been able to keep up with so far). Throughout this leg, the other teams keep asking if anyone has seen Apollo and Trucy, as they apparently can’t recognize them without hat/hairstyle.

Trucy: I mean, it's kinda a fact of our profession that the only details most people tend to notice about a person is their hair and clothes. Apollo: but it’s a bit more troubling when those people are my coworkers and boss who are in charge of the legal system.

They use this to their advantage during the leg to hide at clueboxs and avoid getting u-turned.

This also increases how much they get mistaken for siblings or twins. Neither of them read into this, and Apollo takes the twin comment as a slight against his height. Nick makes a comment about it at the end of the leg, finally just saying they look alike because they’re siblings. Trucy excitedly agrees that of course Apollo is her brother and a part of the family! Just like Aunt Maya! Apollo appreciates this sentiment, but also takes the comments as Nick both a) teasing him and b) hinting that he knows about the driving thing.

[hazzabeeforlou]

Anon about calling Harry “She” from this morning, I shared your message with my friend @metal-eye Holly (who is nb) who wrote a lovely response for you:

Anon, since you seem to be on a crusade against transphobia, I’m going to address your accusations of misgendering. I want to trust that your heart is in the right place.

Here’s the thing: misgendering is an act of aggression meant to strip someone of their chosen identity. It is, essentially, verbal violence designed to imply “I don’t think this version of you exists and you’re crazy so I’m going to call you whatever I want”. It’s making trans women use the men’s bathroom because gender fluidity makes you uncomfortable; it’s repeatedly using someone’s old name despite their stated preference for the new one. It’s an attack, basically. A sign emblazoned with “trans people don’t exist and gender is in your pants”.

Misgendering is also not an accidental mistake from a well-intentioned individual. If you use the wrong pronoun for someone, just correct yourself and move on. It happens. No trans or nb or fluid person is going to think you’re evil. What’s important is that you’ve listened, and you’re making an effort.

When Toni and I and many others call Harry “she”, it comes from a place of love and affection. We’ve seen him come out from under the oppression that was “frat boy womanizer” Harry and make huge strides in fluidity and femininity, whether it be nail polish, purses, female-coded clothing, or just explaining in interviews that he doesn’t think gender distinctions should exist. The song “She” on Fine Line is an incredible exploration of a gender journey, and tagging a post about Harry with “she” is our way of saying, “We see your journey, Harry, and we love you.” Harry has never definitively stated in an interview what his preferred pronouns are. But given his close friends’ track record of using “she” as his pronouns, comparing him to women, and flat-out calling Harry fluid/a girl/a woman, I think you need to take it up with them before calling out a random tumblr blog he doesn’t know exists.

Basically, I’ve found that the people most threatened by Harry’s expression of late are either a) your basic transphobes, or b) het harries who want to have sex with him so badly that their bad-boy “daddy” fantasy of Harry Styles is somehow more important to them than the way he actually conducts himself. In my opinion, that is vastly more “disrespectful” than anything celebrating his femininity.

[chwrpg]

Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman".

A NOTE FROM ADMIN R: Oh, oh, oh ! Y’all don’t know how happy I am to be accepting this application. Dylan is truly one of my CHW faves and to have her taken up by you, Cailin... that’s just an honor. I can not wait to see what you do with her, but I know one thing... this dash ain’t ready fro the looks Dylan is about to serve us. Thank you so much for applying and welcome back, love !

OOC NAME/ALIAS, PREFERRED PRONOUNS, AGE & TIMEZONE:

cailin, (she/her), 25, est

DESIRED CHARACTER:

queen mother, dylan davenport

HOW ACTIVE WILL YOU BE?

8-10

SECONDARY CHOICE:

taylor flick

DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER:

Dylan is shrouded in beauty, bold fashion choices, witty comebacks, and her daddy’s debit card. But the woman wearing the Amina Muaddi heels to 7/11 is much more interesting than her out of this world clothes. If Chanel’s head is in the clouds, Dylan’s feet are planted on the ground. She’s the fuel to the fire, the one who gets shit done. Things don’t move without her — and that includes the fashion scene in Rosewood. Dylan could’ve been a surgeon, she has the brains and attention to detail for it, but, you see, what Dylan says or doesn’t say goes. She predicted high waist jeans making a comeback before Vogue did, telling the girls one day during first period. So she’s a bit of a culture oracle. It’s why people care about what she’s thinking, who she’s endorsing, what designers she’s buying. They even want to know what she’s watching on a monday night. Her confidence and sincerity is inspiring. When she’s not taste making though, she’s the loyalest, most straightforward friend you can find in her tax bracket. Balancing the thin line between being no-nonsense and fun to be around. She does it well, though. In fact, she does most things well (driving not included.)‌ Her peers boast about her style and charisma, her professors brag about her work ethic and creativity, her boyfriend….well, her love life is a tumultuous roller coaster but every icon needs a fixer upper. Plus she gets diamonds every time he fumbles.

SAMPLE WRITING:

( Alexa, play Daddy )

The day Dylan was born she became a daddy’s girl. Stevie Wonder could see it. Dada was her first word much to her mother’s chagrin. He never raised his voice at her, never got impatient with her when she spilled her juice or threw her food. He got up in the middle of the night so his wife wouldn’t have to even though he had meetings at 7 in the morning. It didn’t stop there, though. Mr. Davenport didn’t put her down at parties. He carried her around on his hip as he mingled and held court, demanding on no one use baby talk for his brilliant baby girl. “She’s smart like her mom.” He would say to his captivated audience. For her third birthday he rented out an entire amusement park. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t yet tall enough to ride the rides, she had asked for it so he made it happen. He was a doer and a fixer, but he wasn’t perfect. Mr. Davenport had always been a better father and provider than a husband.

So, when she was five, her parents went through a nasty divorce. The papers their lawyers drew up cited irreconcilable differences but she’d come to realize, many years later, that was just how rich people skirted around the truth in hopes of keeping people out of their business. In truth, Mr. Davenport had spent the better part of his career sleeping with secretaries, temps, and clients. Basically anything that was of age and not nailed down. Mrs. Davenport had only grown tired of it after watching Halle Berry cry over Eric Benet  on Oprah. But like she’d taught  Dylan, Mrs. Davenport thought three steps ahead, and had arranged to have a cheating clause in their prenup. She saw the board before she’d even stepped foot on it. And, Sure, they’d been in love when they got married at twenty three, but a cheater never changed its spots, just his lies. In an instant, she got half of everything. Twenty percent of his future earnings, and 360 lipo for a girls trip to Maui to celebrate her emancipation.

All Dylan got out of the deal was two houses, two birthdays, two Christmases, two cars she still couldn’t drive when she turned sixteen. The court awarded them joint custody, ruling they both had enough sense to figure out the schedule on their own. But since that was the year her mom went back to school for her PhD, Dylan spent the majority of her time with her dad and a nanny. Those double holidays also served as a good distraction from the heartbreak she couldn’t explain. Though she was sharp as a whip and actually funny, not laugh because it’s a kid funny, but really funny, she still couldn’t wrap her little mind around why her parents drove to separate houses at the end of the night now. At all those parties, what stuck out the most was everyone saying what a handsome couple they were, how lucky they were to have another. They danced and laughed. They seemed so happy. But looks are deceiving and lucky for her, the loneliest year of her young life was also the year she met her best friend.

( Alexa, play Wannabe )

Dylan and Chanel became an instant package deal, and she thanked her father for not being able to keep his dick out of seedy holes because she wouldn’t have went to school in another district if her mom hadn’t won the house in the divorce, and she wouldn’t have sat down next to Chanel at show and tell, and they wouldn’t have bonded over their pretty dresses, or shared their organic apple juice. God worked in mysterious ways like that. She had a partner for life, and nothing came between them. Not even boys. And, despite having the power to date any eligible bachelor in her grade, she really liked one in particular.

The day she brought Paxton home her took one look at him and chuckled. Dylan figured it was because of the grill he hadn’t learned to talk without slurring with yet, but her mother had other ideas. “He reminds me of your father.” She said, long after he’d gone home, but not before Dylan spent fifteen minutes walking him to his car. The driveway was super long but her lipstick was nonexistent when she returned. That didn’t matter though, because Dylan knew what that meant. Her mom thought Paxton was charming, likable, handsome — but she also knew he was a liar and a dog. They argued for well over an hour, and she said some things she regretted but that’s what teenage girls did, they rebelled against becoming their mother all while doing so. She didn’t realize just how much he was like her father until she caught him DMing other girls on instagram and got a diamond necklace out of the deal. Still, it was clear that he could shoot a man in broad daylight and she would always be daddy’s little girl, nothing could change that.

“Daddy!” Dylan whined, clinging to her dad’s arm as they traipsed through another commercial property with their real estate agent. Today was the day she was finally going to buck up and switch locations from her dad’s pool house to an office space in scenic, downtown Rosewood. Being interviewed by magazines had been life changing, sitting front row of the hottest runways next to A-listers had its perks, doing a skincare routine video for vogue was dope, but expanding her business because the calls wouldn’t stop coming in to be styled be Dylan and her associates? That was something she’d done herself from the ground up. She’d started with styling her friends and now she was going to style the world.

( Alexa, play Successful )

Her heels were tall enough to greet God but she still only reached his shoulder. “I hope this one has vaulted ceilings.” Her tone was way past passive aggressive. She would’ve dialed it back had their agent not been set to make serious bank off of this, but had only been showing them office spaces with disgusting lighting and rude doormen. For all of their sakes, she hoped this one was better. “I need two sessions of hot yoga after the last mess you showed us, at least. My chakras are all out of wack now. Thanks a lot, A.” She was being dramatic but her dad didn’t stop her. He just smiled that infamous smile at the agent and excused himself to the back of the elevator to take a call. Dylan rolled her eyes when she caught their real estate agent, Angela, fawning. She was a slender woman with the proportion of a fashion model who only modeled in theory, never practice. With cropped hair and full lips. She’d been their families real estate agent for decades, found the house her mom had one in the divorce, but Dylan couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d slept with her dad while he was married to her mom, and for that she hated her.

The light dinged to signal they were at their floor, and the elevator doors slid open. When she bothered lifting them from a lengthy text she was typing to her beau, her eyes lit up like when her dad gifted her a patek for her eighteenth, or the G-Wagon that was still collecting dust in the garage for her sixteenth. Whatever the occasion was, she was aglow just like then. The floors were European oak, all the walls were white sans a charcoal accent wall that would be the space of her future desk, and yes, the ceilings were vaulted with windows to match. It was beyond.

“Daddy!” She squealed, running around the space and dreaming up renovation ideas. “This is the one. It’s, like, perfect.” Dylan ignored the real estate agent when she repeated the price tag. 1.2 million may have been a lot for some people, but some people weren’t his little girl and Angela should have known that by now. “Wait. I need to call Chanel!”‌ Dylan could bet she’d be calling Chanel the day Play got down on one knee ( What?‌ A girl could dream ) before she even said yes. She was greeted with a selfie when she unlocked her phone, tapping her chanel platform sneaker clad foot against the wood while the facetime call connected, “What do you think about staining the floor another color?” She asked before absolutely beaming when Chanel’s face appeared on the screen.

“I found it! I found the perfect space.”‌ Without another word, she flipped the camera and did a little dance when Chanel’s excitement nearly exceeded hers. She knew a squeal of absolute glee when she heard one, “I know! Ok, so Just imagine a chaise here, we can install some shelves here. Do you think we can get a Prosecco fountain?…” She walked her through the office like Angela had done moments before, moving out of earshot so her dad could handle business, while they discussed all the possibilities. “Today an office with a view, tomorrow Dylan Davenport’s Fashion Academy,” she beamed.

All her daddy had to do was sign on the dotted line, and she knew he would. He was, after all, her doer. He wouldn’t dare break that illusion…right? The journey from the bathroom back to the main area of the office space was a short one, and she was all smiles until she rounded the corner only for her dream to turn into a nightmare. Her face cracked along with the screen of her phone as it hit the ground and shattered, “DADDY!” She screamed. The sight of her dad and Angela kissing over paperwork causing her to gag instantly.

“Honey, let me explain…..”

There was nothing to explain. Horrible step parents was Jasper’s lane, not hers.

( Alexa, play Ring Off )

ANYTHING ELSE?

1985.

[hankguogh]

10 Chinese webnovels I highly recommend

Chinese webnovels are getting popular around the world, this genre of novels is also called Light Novel because of its short chapter size and editing work.As a veteran reader, I have been reading Chinese webnovels for more than 15 years,including most of all genres,such as wuxia,fantasy,romance ... Some of them have really impressed to me,and today I'm very glad to recommend you 10 Chinese webnovels that have been translated to English.I think they are all of pretty good quality.

1.Night Ranger

This fantasy novel has 819 chapters and it is completed now on webnovel.com its original chinese edition has 2.01 million views.

Source:webnovel.com Synopsis: Legendary player Marvin transmigrated to the eve of the Great Calamity. This was the end of the fourth era, all gods joined hands to destroy the Universe Magic Pool. The fourth Fate Tablet had begun maturing and all gods, demons, legends, devils, liches, dragons and other legendary creatures were appearing one after the other. In order to protect his loved ones, Marvin has no other choice but to delve into the shadows. This is the story of a young ranger growing into the Ruler of the Night during the Chaos Era.

2.Godly Stay-Home Dad

This novel has been updated to Chapter 116 on tapread.com (one chapter each day).And now it ranks top 1 among all novels on tapread,very worth reading.

Source:tapread.com Synopsis: After immortality cultivation, he transforms into a daddy. Then he begins to carve out a new field where he opens a restaurant. In his spare time, he would like to compose songs and flirts with his wife ... Let’s see how this immortal daddy plays the city.

3.Martial God Asura

It is an ongoing Chinese web novel by “Kindhearted Bee” with 2900+ chapters. This novel is currently being translated by Yang Wenli (YWL) and flowerbridgetoo (FBT) has translated the first 3 volumes (Chapters 1-1004). On the wuxiaworld website, it is listed in the “Xuan Huan” category and “Eastern Fantasy” as the subcategory.

Source:wuxiaworld.com Synopsis: Regarding potential—even if you are not considered a genius, you can still learn Mysterious Techniques and martial skills. Anyone can be enlightened without a master. Regarding strength—despite having a myriad of artifacts, you may not defeat my army of World Spirits. Who am I? All of the world’s living perceives me as Asura, but I was ignorant to such a thing. I thus ascend to be the Martial God as Asura.

4.Reincarnation - The Divine Doctor and Stay-at-home Dad

This kind of stay-home dad novel is my favorite genre,lol. This novel is also an ongoing one. check it on Tapread.com.

Source:tapread.com Synopsis: As an ordinary human being on the earth, Tang Long was brought to the Cultivation World by a lost immortal, and relying on his amazing talent, he made it to one of the five emperors in that world. However, struck by Thunder of Nine Heavens, he lost his life. It was lucky for him to rebirth in the human world as an intern who was named Qin Haodong. With his excellent medical skills, he became a divine doctor of traditional Chinese medicine and a father of a baby girl, whose mother was as pretty as a fairy. The little girl even asked him to find more lovers. What a cute girl...

5.Trial Marriage Husband: Need to Work Hard

The novel is currently top 1 translation power ranking on webnovel.com now.Highly recommended!

Source:webnovel.com Synopsis: The night before their wedding, her fiancee ran off with his mistress. Out of frustration, she grabbed the man standing in front of the Civil Affairs Office, "President Mo, your bride has not arrived and my groom has run away...May I suggest we get married?" Before marriage, she said, "Even if we were to share the same bed, nothing would happen between us!" After marriage, he said, "If we don't try, how would we know?"

6.The General’s Genius Daughter

Source:tapread.com Synopsis: In her previous life, the woman that her husband cheated on dug out her beautiful eyes, told her that her child was not her husband’s and then tortured her to death. Her six years old son, Tiantian, was harmed by the adulterer while her parents were brutally murdered... Hua Qiyue woke up again and found out that she was now in the body of a famous general’s daughter, who shared the same first name as her. However, she discovered that the body was a useless one as her Qi veins were blocked! Since the heaven did give her another chance of life, she promised herself to destroy the life of her cheating husband, torture the home wrecker, seek revenge and save her son! By accident, she discovered a handsome devil inside her jade gourd and was forced to acknowledge him as her master. What troubled her more was that her first appearance in the public caused her to be surrounded by numerous handsome men such as the cool and mysterious Prince Nan, her cruel but strong master Tianpi, and the kind and graceful Medical Saint... Tianyuan continent was the continent of Qi Art and Spirit Summoning Art... Watch how Hua Qiyue master the two Arts, defeat her rivals and solve one mystery after another...

7.The Love Riots

Very popular on wattpad,editor's choice,the only one in my recommendation list isn't Chinese novel.

Source:wattpad.com Synopsis: Chitralekha Menon, or Chitra as she prefers, is an editor at Delhi Belly, a weekly lifestyle magazine. She lives alone in a flat and enjoys a cosmopolitan life that the city offers. Her days are spent going to the old parts of the town for interviews with interesting but unknown personalities. She loves reading books in her favourite armchair with a cup of cutting chai and discussing Indian politics. One day fate leads her to meet Zahir Hosain, a Political Science teacher, who emanates peace and enigma. She watches him with fascination as he works for an NGO and cares for his students so deeply. However, she realizes that life is not a bed of roses when she has to fight at every turn for her love as the society she lives in becomes more and more radical by the day. After all, does this society have a place for a Hindu woman who has fallen for a Muslim man? Together, Chitra and Zahir embark on an emotional and disastrous journey that takes sudden turns, keeping them on their toes and out of breath.

8.Sweet Chief Secretary

Source:tapread.com Synopsis: The first master in Shen’s refused female secretary to maintain his image. The girl lost her job and crashed into a luxury car of the second master in Shen’s, so she could only work as his secretary to repay the debt. The second master would emerge in the headlines of entertainment news every two or three days due to his gossip!In addition to help him at work, his secretary had to deal with his rotten tidbits?

9.The Medical Guru

Source:tapread.com Synopsis: He was the youngest guru of martial arts as well as the perfect Mr. McDreamy of the most girls. He had mysterious absolute touch, clear-sighted observation ability and various outstanding talents. But now, he was just an ordinary freshman in University of Jiangjing Chinese Medicine, who wanted to learn Chinese Medicine, see patients, and get into a relationship with a girl in a low-key way. However, in a Mid-Autumn Festival party, he was forced to put on a performance, which shocked the whole audience. The shiny and wonderful university life began from then on. In the university, he met a beautiful and smart School Beauty Jiang Miaoyu who shook his heart slightly. But the road of love was never smooth, even to a perfect hero. He also met a kind and friendly teacher Dr. Shen who discovered his excellent technique and gave him a chance to practice. Besides, his three lovely and interesting roommates were indispensable in his life, although sometimes they looked a little awkward. But this young hero’s life was not always full of happiness without a hitch, some trouble still appeared from time to time. The domineering and imperious President of the Students’ Union Li Qingshi purposely made difficulties for him repeatedly. The stubborn and hardworking martial arts practitioner Chen Cong often challenged him in different ways. Just because of these extraordinary personalities around him, this young hero’s road of struggle looked so amazing...

10.Super Urban Master

Source:tapread.com Synopsis: A good-for-nothing man wrote a closed book furiously and ran away from home on the wedding night as he was humiliated by his Kung Fu wife. Unfortunately, he suffered a car accident, but it turned to be a blessing. He swallowed the soul that passed through the outer world, thus obtained superb medical skills and martial arts. Later on，he embarked on the road of counterattacks, and was committed to his great dreams.

Well, above are my recommendations, although some of them didn't get good translations,that doesn't affect its quality at all.As a reader, I'm always passinate about Chinese web novels,and I hope you guys could like my recommendations!

[kalinara]

I hate to say it, but I do think maybe Avalance is the root of Sara’s really uncertain characterization this season.

Most of my biggest problems with Sara early on had to do with uncharacteristic aggression (why in the world would a serious combatant like Sara throw a knife at her civilian store manager boss, no matter how much of a dick he was?)  and a very inconsistent attitude toward the Time Bureau.

Like she steals the Waverider (with some obvious provocation from Rip), and seems to be inclined to at least try to be a bit more subtle and constrained than their usual approach.

Something that goes completely out of the window in Freakshow, to the point where she's willing to hold a hapless, obviously harmless agent like Gary at gunpoint and have him take the blame.  And then, her enthusiasm for fighting Ava suddenly takes precedence over the mission?

The next episode, she's barging into a Time Bureau mission, calling the Time Bureau a totalitarian regime, and trying to ram Ava's ship.  Which, okay.  There was a bit more justification for that antagonism here, given that the Bureau wanted to put Zari back in prison, and Ava wanted to throw the book at them despite Rip wanting lenience.

The thing that stands out the most for those first three episodes though is that Sara, who is usually characterized as a level-headed, calm and measured leader, ends up acting repeatedly hot-headed and seems to have lost her ability to control her team.  Despite the pre-season interviews talking about breaking time as something Sara wants to fix out of a sense of responsibility, that attitude gets abandoned very quickly in favor of defiance against the Time Bureau.

(I'm not saying that Sara SHOULD feel guilty for breaking time, because it was necessary at the time, but it is in character that she would.)

I feel like the show discarded a legitimate area for Sara to have growth and development, simply to amp up the conflict between the Legends and the Time Bureau, simply so that they could use the adversaries to friends to lovers trope.

And then, as soon as the conflict with the Bureau has set the stage for Sara and Ava as scornful antagonists, it's gone.  I won't pretend that Rip was right in what he'd done in Return of the Mack, but I really have a hard time accepting that Sara would be willing to give even a former friend to an organization that she called a totalitarian regime two episodes ago.

This seemed to be entirely designed to relax the tension between Sara and Ava.  Look, they're now reluctantly on the same side: sadly watching Rip get taken away by the Bureau.

(It also bugs me that somehow Rip's gone from being the man who lost his family to Vandal Savage and got brainwashed by Eobard Thawne to being suddenly an unreliable source on who might be a danger, but that's a side note.)

Now, of course, the Bureau has no interest in taking the team down.  And the Legends have completely lost interest in the Bureau.  And...what?

None of the actual problems between the Bureau and the Legends have changed.  The Legends are STILL traveling in a stolen ship, solving problems via metaphorical sledgehammer.  The Bureau is still the kind of cold 'totalitarian regime' that would have put Zari in prison.

Suddenly Sara's okay with them because they're not a personal threat anymore?  Since when is that in character for Sara?

But okay, after that, Sara seems to be settling back into a more recognizable position.  She's regained her admittedly impressive leadership abilities.  She's helping Helen without wanting to massively change the timeline.  She's controlling her team better.  She lost Martin, but that wasn't her fault.

But then we get the Beebo episode.  Ava and Sara have a lot of chemistry, I admit.  But Sara also finds out that her former friend, who she gave to the Time Bureau, is now in prison.  She's understandably horrified.  She also gets very clear proof that Mallus exists.

So what does Sara do when she finds out Mallus exists and is dangerous, and that the man who recruited her, who gave her the chance to become more than she was (something she expressly credits to him in Raiders of the Lost Art), the man who lead an invasion of the League of Assassins and was willing to fight Ra's al Ghul to the death for her is IN PRISON?

...nothing.  She just flirts with Ava.  AVA is the one who decides to try to free Rip.  Despite the fact that I can’t see Sara ever being willing to leave even an enemy in a situation like that.

(also, while I liked seeing Ava save Sara, why did no one from Sara's team assist her?  Did they all just stand around waiting for the Time Bureau chick to act instead?)

Daddy Darhkest is mostly a good episode for Sara, but she finds out Rip escapes and...there isn't even an indication that maybe they should keep an eye out for him, since he has the only real information about their enemy.

I won't bitch about Sara's characterization in the time loop episode.  I feel like the real Sara would have been more concerned about Zari's claim of sabotage than talking with her girlfriend, but that wasn't the real Sara.

And while I didn't really begrudge Sara going on a date with Ava in the last episode, since she believed the team was having an easy mission in Detroit, I definitely think Sara would have immediately wanted to go after them once Gideon made that phone call.

And for all that I thought the Sara and Ava date was cute, I'm still bugged by the fact that Ava still works for an organization that wanted to throw Zari in prison, and this isn't giving Sara even the slightest pause.

An adversaries to friends to lovers plot really only tends to work when they stop being adversaries.  But Ava really hasn't done that.  She's just stopped doing anything about it.

And unfortunately, Sara really hasn't had any character development this season outside of Ava.  We've seen no introspection about Sara having had to break time.  Sara's grief for Laurel comes up in the context of Zari's quest occasionally, but never really gets expanded on.  Sara's met a doppelganger of a man that she could have loved, from an apocalyptic alternate world and we get no real reaction to that.  

I feel like the show is quick to toss us "Sara, you're the best Captain ever" asides to mask that they haven't really given Sara any character growth since Aruba.

It's annoying because I really do want to like Avalance.  I think there is clearly some interesting mystery behind why Ava is almost as good a fighter as Sara herself and why Rip recruited her to begin with.  But it's hard to be enthused when show focuses so much on the romantic dynamic that the rest of Sara's characterization has gone by the wayside.

[patriotsnet]

Are There Republicans On The Impeachment Committee

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/are-there-republicans-on-the-impeachment-committee/

Are There Republicans On The Impeachment Committee

Efforts To Impeach Barack Obama

2 AZ GOP members on House Committee slam impeachment proceedings

This article is part of a series about

e

During Barack Obama‘s tenure as President of the United States from 2009 to 2017, certain Republican members of Congress, as well as Democratic congressman Dennis Kucinich, stated that Obama had engaged in impeachable activity and that he might face attempts to remove him from office. Rationales offered for possible impeachment ranged from Obama allowing people to use bathrooms based on their gender identity, to the 2012 Benghazi attack, to Obama’s enforcement of immigration laws, and false claims that he was born outside the United States.

Multiple surveys of U.S. public opinion found that a near supermajority of Americans rejected the idea of impeaching Obama, though a bit more than a simple majority of Republicans did support such efforts. For example, CNN found in July 2014 that 57% of Republicans supported impeachment, but in general, 65% of American adults, disagreed with impeachment with only 33% supporting such efforts.

Constitutionality Of Senate Trial Of Former President

The question of whether the Senate can hold a trial for and convict a former president is unsettled. Article II, Section 4 of the U.S. Constitution provides:

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors. Article II, Section 4, of the U.S. Constitution

Article I, Section 3, of the Constitution, also states the following:

Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law. Article I, Section 3, Clause 7, of the U.S. Constitution

J. Michael Luttig, who served on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit for 25 years, said that such a trial would be unconstitutional. He interpreted the language of Section 4 to refer to an official in office.

Luttig said, “The very concept of constitutional impeachment presupposes the impeachment, conviction and removal of a president who is, at the time of his impeachment, an incumbent in the office from which he is removed. Indeed, that was the purpose of the impeachment power, to remove from office a president or other ‘civil official’ before he could further harm the nation from the office he then occupies.”

Congressional Opposition To Impeachment

A number of prominent Republicans rejected calls for impeachment, including House SpeakerJohn Boehner, and Sen. John McCain. McCain said impeachment would be a distraction from the 2014 election, and that if “we regain control of the United States Senate we can be far more effective than an effort to impeach the president, which has no chance of succeeding.” Rep. Blake Farenthold said that impeachment would be “an exercise in futility.”

Read Also: How Do Republicans Really Feel About Trump

Congressional Calls For Impeachment

In October 2010, prior to the elections in which Republicans won control of the House, Jonathan Chait published an article in The New Republic called “Scandal TBD” where he predicted that if Republicans were to win control of the House, and Barack Obama were to win re-election in 2012, the Republicans would try to impeach Obama and use any reason possible as pretext.

Pelosi Intends To Appoint A Second Republican To The Jan 6 Committee

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she intends to name a second Republican critic of Donald Trump, Rep. Adam Kinzinger, to a special committee investigating the Capitol riot.

Pelosi already put Rep. Liz Cheney, R-Wyo., on the select committee.

Cheney and Kinzinger were among the 10 House Republicans to vote for Trump’s second impeachment and the only two Republicans who voted last month to form the special committee.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Sunday she intends to name a second Republican critic of Donald Trump, Rep. Adam Kinzinger, to a special committee investigating the Capitol riot and she pledged that the Democratic-majority panel will “find the truth.”

With the committee set to hold its first meeting on Tuesday, hearing from police officers who battled the rioters on Jan. 6, House Republican leader Kevin McCarthy has said the GOP will not participate after Pelosi, D-Calif., refused to accept the members he picked.

Pelosi, who already put Rep. Liz Cheney, R-Wyo., on the select committee, now says she intends to add Kinzinger, R-Ill. Cheney and Kinzinger were among the 10 House Republicans to vote for Trump’s second impeachment and the only two Republicans who voted last month to form the special committee.

“That would be my plan,” Pelosi said on ABC’s “This Week.”

Pressed on when she would make an announcement, Pelosi said: “Perhaps after I speak with Adam Kinzinger … That is the direction that I would be going on.”

Read Also: Why Is There Republicans And Democrats

Backlash Builds: More Lawmakers Call For Schiff To Resign From House Intel Committee

A growing number of Republican lawmakers and national figures called for Rep. Adam Schiff to resign from the House Intelligence Committee Tuesday; citing years of non-stop and baseless allegations regarding President Trump colluding with foreign nationals.

Hes been on every TV show 50 times a day for practically the last two years, promising Americans that this president would either be impeached or indicted, said senior presidential advisor Kellyanne Conway Monday. He has no right, as somebody who has been peddling a lie, day after day after day, unchallenged.

He owes an apology to the American public, added House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy.;There is no place in Adam Schiffs world or in Congress that he should be chair of the intel committee.

There is no way he could lead the intel committee and he should step back, McCarthy added.

They should be removed from their chairmanships, said RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel. They owe the American people an apology. They owe this president an apology, and they have work to do to heal this democracy because this is our country we are talking about.

Read the full report at Fox News.

Heres What To Expect From The Republicans On The Jan 6 Committee

After a pilgrimage to Bedminster to get the blessing of the GOPs Apricot Archbishop, House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy announced yesterday that he would after all appoint Republican members to Speaker Nancy Pelosis select committee investigating the January 6 insurrection.

McCarthy had vacillated for weeks on the decision. Politico reported that he considered naming more experienced members to the probe, filling his seats with firebrands, and refusing to tap any members at all.

In the end the invertebrate House minority leader took the most low-risk path he could, appointing a pair of firebrands named Jim to please Daddy T and filling the other committee seats with lesser-known members, including one in his first term. Among McCarthys picks there are two more appointees named Jim than there are women or people of color. Take a look.

Acyn

McCarthy reportedly had some difficulty finding Republican representatives willing to participate in the committeebut Jim Jordan was undoubtedly eager to join. Everyone knows what to expect from Jordan, the sweaty, jacketless, former wrestling coach who worked alongside a serial sexual assaulter while simultaneously not ever seeming to notice and allegedly telling one of his wrestlers he should help cover it up.;Given this expertise, Trump surely wanted Jordan on the committee.

But since Donalds Kevin appointed them, Im not holding my breath.

Read Also: How Many Presidents Have The Republicans Tried To Impeach

House Republicans ‘demand The Release Of The Rules’ On Impeachment

House Republicans are calling for the committee leaders overseeing the impeachment inquiry to release the guidelines and regulations under which depositions and transcriptions of testimony are being conducted.;

We write to demand the release of the rules that are governing the depositions and transcribed interviews being conducted by the joint action of your three committees, nearly 80 GOP lawmakers said in their Friday letter to House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam SchiffCarolyn MaloneyGOP seeks to keep spotlight on Afghanistan as Dems advance Biden’s .5T spending planOvernight Health Care: Democrats plot response to Texas abortion lawHouse Democrats ramp up probe of FDA approval of Alzheimer’s drug MORE

“The secrecy in which these depositions and interviews are being conducted, and the lack of clarity on the rules that govern attendance and access to records, are deeply concerning in the context of such a serious inquiry, the letter read.

GOP members have been vocal in their criticisms of how Democrats have carried out the impeachment process thus far, alleging it is politically motivated and has lacked transparency. The lawmakers highlighted that multiple attempts to gain access to the closed-door impeachment hearings have repeatedly been rebuffed for members who dont sit on any of the three panels.;

The letter was led by House Freedom Caucus Chairman Andy Biggs and signed by 76 GOP lawmakers including Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy

Law Professors Will Testify At Wednesday’s Hearing

House GOP Releases A Prebuttal To Intel Committee Impeachment Report – Day That Was | MSNBC

From CNN’s Manu Raju

The House Judiciary Committee has announced its list of witnesses for Wednesdays hearing.

Entitled The Impeachment Inquiry into President Donald J. Trump: Constitutional Grounds for Presidential Impeachment,” the hearing will include testimony from law professors from four schools. It starts at 10 a.m. ET.

Here’s a list of witnesses:

Noah Feldman of Harvard Law School

Pamela S. Karlan;of;Stanford Law School

Michael Gerhardt;of the University of North Carolina School of Law

Jonathan Turley of the George Washington University Law School

Read Also: Do The Republicans Have The House

Rep Hakeem Jeffries D

Jeffries,who was a litigator in private practice before he ran for office,;sits on the Judiciary Committee and chairs the House Democratic Caucus, which has helped shape Democrats’ messaging on impeachment.His position in House Democratic leadership makes him the highest-ranking lawmaker in the group;who will prosecute the case against Trump.;

Jeffries said Wednesday that his role was to;”present the truth to the American people.”

Will Trump Be Impeached

As Democrats hold a majority in the House, the vote is likely to pass.

“We have been asked to turn a blind eye to the criminality, corruption and blatant disregard to the rule of law by the tyrant president we have in the White House,” Democratic Representative Ilhan Omar said in the House debate.

“We as a nation can no longer look away.”

Did Trump’s words at rally incite the riot?

At least nine Republicans have voted in favour impeachment, but the majority remain loyal to the president.

“Instead of moving forward as a unifying force, the majority in the House is choosing to divide us further… Let us look forward, not backward. Let us come together, not apart,” Republican Tom Cole told the House.

He was one of 139 Republicans who last week voted against accepting the result of the 2020 election and Mr Trump’s defeat.

Once it has passed in the House of Representatives, the impeachment article will then head for the Senate, where a trial will be held to determine the president’s guilt.

A two-thirds majority would be needed there to convict Mr Trump, meaning at least 17 Republicans would have to vote for conviction. As many as 20 Senate Republicans are open to convicting the president, the New York Times reports.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he had not yet decided whether or not he would vote in favour of impeachment.

The Senate will not reconvene this week and probably not until 19 January, according to Mr McConnell’s spokesman.

Recommended Reading: Why Do Republicans Say Democrat Party

Trump Releases New Video Condemning Capitol Riot But Does Not Mention Impeachment

President Donald Trump released a video Wednesday to offer his most forceful condemnation yet of last week’s riot at the U.S. Capitol.

Trump did not mention his impeachment in the taped message, which was;released on the White House Twitter account after his personal account was suspended.

“I want to be very clear. I unequivocally condemn the violence that we saw last week. Violence and vandalism have absolutely no place in our country and no place in our movement,” Trump said.;

“No true supporter of mine could ever endorse political violence. No true supporter of mine could ever disrespect law enforcement or our great American flag,” he added. “No true supporter of mine could ever threaten or harass their fellow Americans if you do any of these things, you are not supporting our movement, you’re attacking it, and you are attacking our country.”

In the video, Trump also discussed “unprecedented assault on free speech,” referring to his ban from several social media sites.

He closed the remarks by calling on Americans to come together.;;

Republicans Slam Dems As Committee Readies Impeachment Resolution For Floor Vote

House Republicans railed against their Democratic colleagues’ impeachment resolution Wednesday as the Rules Committee readied the measure for a full floor vote, calling it a “fishing expedition” that restricts GOP members’ input and infringes on the due process rights of President Donald Trump.

Republican members introduced a barrage of dead-on-arrival amendments during the committee markup of the measure, each one failing along party lines. The proposed changes attempted in part to restrict the potential scope of the impeachment inquiry as Democrats move toward the public-facing phase of the probe. The committee is comprised of nine Democrats and four Republicans.

Don’t Miss: How Many Republicans Will Vote For Impeachment

Release Of Deposition Transcripts

On November 4, 2019, two transcripts of the closed-door depositions, those of Ambassadors Yovanovitch and McKinley, were released by the three presiding House committees. The transcripts revealed that Yovanovitch first learned, from Ukrainian officials in November or December 2018, of a campaign by Giuliani and Lutsenko to remove her from her post. Yovanovitch also testified that the U.S. embassy in Ukraine denied a visa application from the former Ukrainian prosecutor Viktor Shokin “to visit family” in the U.S. Although the application was simply denied because of his corrupt dealings in Ukraine, the ambassador later learned he had lied on his application and that the true purpose of the visit was to meet with Giuliani and “provide information about corruption at the embassy, including my corruption”, she told the committees. Giuliani lobbied the assistant secretary for consular affairs, conceding the true purpose of Shokin’s planned visit to the U.S. The State Department meanwhile remained silent while she faced public attacks in an attempt to recall her to the U.S. Yovanovitch had been told by Sondland that showing support for the U.S. president may help prevent her dismissal but she chose not to heed the advice.

Following public release of the transcripts, Trump asserted they had been “doctored” by Schiff and encouraged Republicans to “put out their own transcripts!”

Trump Taps Eight Republicans To Serve On Impeachment Team: Who They Are What To Know

Eight Republican members of the House of Representatives have been tapped to serve on President Donald Trump’s impeachment team during his Senate trial, the White House announced on Monday.

The group of lawmakers is largely made up of conservative firebrandslike Jim Jordan and Mark Meadowswho have been outspoken critics of impeachment and loyal supporters of the president.

The GOP leadership previously sparred over whether to include House members in the president’s impeachment team, as many feared the lawmakers would lack the right temperament for the trial. Senator John Cornyn told reporters earlier this month that the upper chamber wants to avoid the “circus-like atmosphere of the House.”

“So I think it seems obvious to me that if the president picks a team that does not include House members, that we’d be more likely to have the dignified process that the Constitution calls for,” Cornyn said.

Senator Lindsey Graham told the press earlier this month that he also didn’t think it was “wise” to include House GOP members in the process and that “we need to elevate the argument beyond party politics.”

But the White House backed the decision to include the Republican members, saying in a statement that they “have provided guidance to the White House team, which was prohibited from participating in the proceedings concocted by Democrats in the House of Representatives,” and would continue to do so in the Senate.

Read Also: How Do Republicans Feel About Climate Change

Resolution To Begin Public Hearings

On October 29, 2019, Representative Jim McGovern introduced a resolution , referred to House Rules Committee, which set forth the “format of open hearings in the House Intelligence Committee, including staff-led questioning of witnesses, and the public release of deposition transcripts”. It also proposed the procedures for the transfer of evidence to House Judiciary Committee as it considers articles of impeachment. The resolution was debated in Rules Committee the next day and brought to a floor vote on October 31. It was adopted with a vote of 232 to 196, with two Democrats and all Republicans voting against the measure.

Trump Impeachment: Chaos Erupts As Republicans Barge Into Inquiry Hearing

House Judiciary Committee debates articles of impeachment against the president

Group chanting Let us in enter closed-door meeting where top Pentagon official who oversees Ukraine policy was to testify

Political tensions over an intensifying impeachment inquiry reached fever pitch on Wednesday as Republicans stormed a closed-door committee hearing on Capitol Hill disrupting a crucial deposition related to the Ukraine controversy a day after devastating testimony from a key diplomat.

A group of Republican members of the House of Representatives, chanting Let us in, barged into a secure office suite in the bowels of the US capitol where Laura Cooper, a top Pentagon official who oversees Ukraine policy, was preparing to testify.

The chaos and confusion temporarily shut down the proceedings before the three House committees leading the impeachment inquiry as Republicans tweeted updates of the disruption from their cellphones, which are not permitted in classified areas. Their presence in the chamber reportedly erupted into yelling matches with committee members.

WATCH: here’s the video of when 2 dozen GOP members, led by entered the secure hearing room to interrupt witness testimony in the #ImpeachmentInquiry as they demand access, despite not being committee members. They’re complaining it’s a “Soviet-style process”.

Scott Thuman

The invading Republicans remained in the hearing room into the early afternoon and even ordered pizza and fast food.

It was unclear if Republicans would attempt to disrupt future hearings.

Also Check: Which Republicans Voted Against The Tax Bill

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

In 2002, a Chicago comedy duo, Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov, landed their big break: a chance to perform at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colo. When Louis C.K. invited them to hang out in his hotel room for a nightcap after their late-night show, they did not think twice. The bars were closed and they wanted to celebrate. He was a comedian they admired. The women would be together. His intentions seemed collegial.

As soon as they sat down in his room, still wrapped in their winter jackets and hats, Louis C.K. asked if he could take out his penis, the women said.

They thought it was a joke and laughed it off. “And then he really did it,” Ms. Goodman said in an interview with The New York Times. “He proceeded to take all of his clothes off, and get completely naked, and started masturbating.”

In 2003, Abby Schachner called Louis C.K. to invite him to one of her shows, and during the phone conversation, she said, she could hear him masturbating as they spoke. Another comedian, Rebecca Corry, said that while she was appearing with Louis C.K. on a television pilot in 2005, he asked if he could masturbate in front of her. She declined.

Now, after years of unsubstantiated rumors about Louis C.K. masturbating in front of associates, women are coming forward to describe what they experienced. Even amid the current burst of sexual misconduct accusations against powerful men, the stories about Louis C.K. stand out because he has so few equals in comedy. In the years since the incidents the women describe, he has sold out Madison Square Garden eight times, created an Emmy-winning TV series, and accumulated the clout of a tastemaker and auteur, with the help of a manager who represents some of the biggest names in comedy. And Louis C.K. built a reputation as the unlikely conscience of the comedy scene, by making audiences laugh about hypocrisy — especially male hypocrisy.

After being contacted for an interview this week about the on-the-record accusations of sexual misconduct — encounters that took place over a decade ago — Louis C.K.’s publicist, Lewis Kay, said the comedian would not respond. “Louis is not going to answer any questions,” Mr. Kay wrote in an email Tuesday night.

Neither Louis C.K. nor Mr. Kay replied to follow-up emails in which the accusations were laid out in detail, or to voice messages or texts. On Thursday, the premiere of Louis C.K.’s new movie “I Love You, Daddy,” was abruptly canceled, and he also canceled an appearance on “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert.”

The stories told by the women raise sharp questions about the anecdotes that Louis C.K. tells in his own comedy. He rose to fame in part by appearing to be candid about his flaws and sexual hang-ups, discussing and miming masturbation extensively in his act — an exaggerated riff that some of the women feel may have served as a cover for real misconduct. He has all but invited comparison between his private life and his onscreen work, too: In “I Love You, Daddy,” which is scheduled to be released next week, a character pretends to masturbate at length in front of other people, and other characters appear to dismiss rumors of sexual predation.

At the same time, Louis C.K. has also boosted the careers of women, and is sometimes viewed as a feminist by fans and critics. But Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov said that when they told others about the incident in the Colorado hotel room, they heard that Louis C.K.’s manager was upset that they were talking about it openly. The women feared career repercussions. Louis C.K.’s manager, Dave Becky, was adamant in an email that he “never threatened anyone.”

For comedians, the professional environment is informal: profanity and raunch that would be far out of line in most workplaces are common, and personal foibles — the weirder the better — are routinely mined for material. But Louis C.K.’s behavior was abusive, the women said.

“I think the line gets crossed when you take all your clothes off and start masturbating,” Ms. Wolov said.

‘You Want to Believe It’s Not Happening’

Ms. Corry, a comedian, writer and actress, has long felt haunted by her run-in with Louis C.K. In 2005, she was working as a performer and producer on a television pilot — a big step in her career — when Louis C.K., a guest star, approached her as she was walking to the set. “He leaned close to my face and said, ‘Can I ask you something?’ I said, ‘Yes,’” Ms. Corry said in a written statement to The New York Times. “He asked if we could go to my dressing room so he could masturbate in front of me.” Stunned and angry, Ms. Corry said she declined, and pointed out that he had a daughter and a pregnant wife. “His face got red,” she recalled, “and he told me he had issues.”

Word quickly reached the show’s executive producers, Courteney Cox and David Arquette, who both confirmed the incident. “What happened to Rebecca on that set was awful,” Ms. Cox said in an email, adding that she felt “outrage and shock.”

“My concern was to create an environment where Rebecca felt safe, protected and heard,” she said. They discussed curtailing the production. Ms. Corry decided to continue with the show.

“Things were going well for me,” Ms. Corry said in the statement, “and I had no interest in being the person who shut down a production.”

A fifth woman, who spoke on condition of anonymity to protect her family’s privacy because she has not been publicly linked to the incident with Louis C.K., also has disturbing memories about an incident with the comedian. In the late ’90s, she was working in production at “The Chris Rock Show” when Louis C.K., a writer and producer there, repeatedly asked her to watch him masturbate, she said. She was in her early 20s and went along with his request, but later questioned his behavior.

“It was something that I knew was wrong,” said the woman, who described sitting in Louis C.K.’s office while he masturbated in his desk chair during a workday, other colleagues just outside the door. “I think the big piece of why I said yes was because of the culture,” she continued. “He abused his power.” A co-worker at “The Chris Rock Show,” who also wished to remain anonymous, confirmed that the woman told him about the experience soon after it happened.

Ms. Schachner, a writer, illustrator and performer, admired Louis C.K.’s work. They had met in the comedy scene; Ms. Schachner’s former boyfriend was a comedy writer who had worked with Louis C.K. In 2003, when she called Louis C.K. with an invitation to her show, he said he was at work in an office as a writer on the series “Cedric the Entertainer Presents,” she recalled.

Their conversation quickly moved from the personal — Louis C.K. had seen photos of her on her boyfriend’s desk, he said, and told her he thought she was cute — to “unprofessional and inappropriate,” Ms. Schachner said.

She said she heard the blinds coming down. Then he slowly started telling her his sexual fantasies, breathing heavily and talking softly. She realized he was masturbating, and was dumbfounded. The call went on for several minutes, even though, Ms. Schachner said, “I definitely wasn’t encouraging it.” But she didn’t know how to end it, either. “You want to believe it’s not happening,” she said. A friend, Stuart Harris, confirmed that Ms. Schachner had described the call to him in 2003.

For years afterward, Ms. Schachner said, she felt angry and betrayed by an artist she looked up to. And she wondered what she could have done differently. “I felt very ashamed,” she said.

A Run-In, Then Fears About Speaking Out

During Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov’s surreal visit to Louis C.K.’s Aspen hotel room, they said they were holding onto each other, screaming and laughing in shock, as Louis C.K. masturbated in a chair. “We were paralyzed,” Ms. Goodman said. After he ejaculated on his stomach, they said, they fled. He called after them: “He was like, ‘Which one is Dana and which one is Julia?’” Ms. Goodman recalled.

Afterward, they ran into Charna Halpern, the owner of influential improv theaters in Los Angeles and Chicago, where Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov performed, and relayed what had happened. “I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to tell them to do,” said Ms. Halpern. Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov decided against going to the police, unsure whether what happened was criminal, but felt they had to respond in some way “because something crazy happened to us,” Ms. Goodman said.

Hoping that outrage would build against Louis C.K., and also to shame him, they began telling others about the incident the next day. But many people seemed to recoil, they said. “Guys were backing away from us,” Ms. Wolov said. Barely 24 hours after they left Louis C.K.’s hotel, “we could already feel the backlash.”

Soon after, they said they understood from their managers that Mr. Becky, Louis C.K’s manager, wanted them to stop telling people about their encounter with Louis C.K. Lee Kernis, one of the women’s managers at the time, confirmed on Thursday that he had a conversation in which he told Mr. Becky that Louis C.K.’s behavior toward the women had been offensive. Mr. Kernis also said that Mr. Becky was upset that the women were talking openly about the incident.

Mr. Becky denied making any threats toward the women. “I don’t recall the exact specifics of the conversation, but know I never threatened anyone,” he wrote by email on Thursday. Ms. Halpern and Robert Schroeder — Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov’s agent at the time — said that the pair told them that they felt they had been warned to stop talking.

Mr. Becky arguably wields even more power in comedy than Louis C.K. He represents Kevin Hart, Aziz Ansari, Amy Poehler and other top performers, and his company, 3 Arts, puts together programming deals for nearly every platform.

Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov moved to Los Angeles shortly after the Aspen festival, but “we were coming here with a bunch of enemies,” Ms. Goodman said. Gren Wells, a filmmaker who befriended the comedy duo in 2002, said the incident and the warning, which they told her about soon after Aspen, hung heavily over them both. “This is something that they were freaked out about,” Ms. Wells said.

In the years since, Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov have found some success, but they remained concerned about Mr. Becky and took themselves out of the running for the many projects he was involved in. Though their humor is in line with what he produces, “we know immediately that we can never even submit our material,” Ms. Wolov said.

Private Acts, Public Jokes

Jokes about masturbation have been a regular part of Louis C.K.’s stage shows. In one bit, he complains about not being able to find a private place in his house to do it. “I’m on the streets now,” he says, “I’ve got nowhere to go.” In another bit he laments being a prisoner of his perversions. “Just the constant perverted sexual thoughts,” he says, then mimes masturbating. “It makes me into a moron.”

Tig Notaro, the comedian whose Amazon series, “One Mississippi,” lists Louis C.K. as an executive producer, is one of the few in the fiercely insular comedy world to speak out against him. Her career received a huge boost when he released her 2012 comedy album, about her cancer diagnosis. But their relationship has crumbled and she now feels “trapped” by her association with him, she wrote in an email.

Her fear is that “he released my album to cover his tracks,” she said. “He knew it was going to make him look like a good guy, supporting a woman.” Ms. Notaro said she learned of his reputation after they sold the series to Amazon, and a recent story line is a fictional treatment of the alleged masturbation episodes.

“Sadly, I’ve come to learn that Louis C.K.’s victims are not only real,” she said by email, “but many are actual friends of mine within the comedy community,” like Ms. Corry, who confided in her, she said.

In his forthcoming film, about a television writer whose teenage daughter is wooed by a Woody Allen type, one character aggressively mimics masturbating in front of others. The content has raised eyebrows. Given the rumors surrounding Louis C.K., the movie “plays like an ambiguous moral inventory of and excuse for everything that allows sexual predators to thrive: open secrets, toxic masculinity, and powerful people getting the benefit of the doubt,” Joe Berkowitz wrote in Fast Company.

Yet in an interview with The Times in September at the Toronto film festival, where “I Love You, Daddy,” was shown, Louis C.K. dismissed stories of his alleged sexual misconduct as “rumors,” and said the notion that the masturbation scenes referred to them never occurred to him. “It’s funny, I didn’t think of that, ” he said.

Apologies With Troubling Implications

In private, though, he appears to have acknowledged his behavior.

In 2009, six years after their phone call, Ms. Schachner received a Facebook message from Louis C.K., apologizing. “Last time I talked to you ended in a sordid fashion,” he wrote in the message, which was reviewed by The Times. “That was a bad time in my life and I’m sorry.” He added that he had seen some of Ms. Schachner’s comedy and thought she was funny. “I remember thinking what a repulsive person I was being by responding the way that I did,” he wrote.

Ms. Schachner accepted his apology and told him she forgave him. But the original interaction left her deeply dispirited, she said, and discouraged her from pursuing comedy.

In 2015, a few months before the now-defunct website Defamer circulated rumors of Louis C.K.’s alleged sexual misconduct, Ms. Corry also received an email from Louis C.K., which was obtained by The Times, saying he owed her a “very very very late apology.” When he phoned her, he said he was sorry for shoving her in a bathroom. Ms. Corry replied that he had never done that, but had instead asked to masturbate in front of her. Responding in a shaky voice, he acknowledged it and said, “I used to misread people back then,” she recalled.

The call confounded her, Ms. Corry said: not only had he misremembered the incident, which made her think there were other moments of misconduct, he also implied she had done something to invite his behavior. “It is unfair he’s put me or anyone else in this position,” Ms. Corry said.

Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov said that with other allegations swirling around the entertainment world, they could no longer stay silent. “Because of this moment, as gross as it is, we feel compelled to speak,” Ms. Goodman said.

Ms. Notaro said she was standing in support of those with the courage “to speak up against such a powerful figure,” she said, “as well as the multitude of women still out there, not quite ready to share their nightmares.”

[raximoweek]

An insight into Cristina’s life by C. Bonadincel

You wake up to 45 text messages from your son Máximo waiting to be answered on your phone.  Check your facebook/twitter/Instagram and you have 450 likes on the selfie you took of yourself with a caption making fun of our current President.  You want more attention though, so you take a shower, put on a shirt that whoops! accidentally lets the side of your bra show, put on 4 whole pencil’s worth of eyeliner to go from a 9.5/10 to a 10/10, and snap a quick selfie of yourself that you quickly upload to your social media accounts with some sarcastic emojis.  Maybe this one will get you 4500 likes.

Your driver takes you to the Senate in a car that cost 365,283 whole Argentinian pesos.  Before you get out you make a quick video complaining about all the injustices done to you by Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio : (  Got to keep the public talking about you! you laugh to yourself.  As you walk into the Congress building, you pass several Federal Justices on the street. They all stare at you as you pass. Most of them are actually concerned with bringing justice to the nation of Argentina and punishing its most heinous white-collar criminals.  Gross! You ignore them.  These losers spend their whole adult life jerking off to persecuting their political opponents, and they still only earn one million pesos per year—legally.

You stop to get your usual morning diet fruit salad on the way.  Have to maintain all 140 pounds of you!  The good-looking boy serves you and tries chatting you up again, but he’s too good looking, nothing like your crude, hulking son Máximo or the rotting corpse of your dead husband who it’s time to get over.  You know he’s going to ask you out one day, but you’ll end up rejecting him because you only fuck people with the last name of Kirchner.  You don’t mind the attention though.

Several men stare at your cleavage and the bruises on your leg that conveniently show through your tights as you resume your walk.  It’s so hard to be such a radiant goddess.  You enter your 106,000 pesos per year Senate job which you had to get by manipulating the voters due to being a mentally ill degenerate with no competence or leadership skills who’s thirsty for power.  You notice many of your male political opponents are there. The Senate is sexist.  Typical.  You greet all of your coworkers: Máximo’s handsome young friend from La Cámpora, Axel Kicillof your young, brilliant Chad former minister of economy, Máximo’s other handsome young friend from La Cámpora, Hot Blonde Female Senator who you’re probably fucking, and nemesis from the opposing party Vice President Gabriela Michetti (in a wheelchair, so she can’t even sit on the special throne!)  Of course the “less corrupt” political party is currently in office.  They get all the good jobs now!  But that would change.  We’re fighting to get me—I mean, us--back into power! You remember how Kim Il-Sung of North Korea is still considered the leader of the nation even after his death. Good on him, you think to yourself.

You ask the Vice President to shut up and let you speak and she immediately does so.  You cut a grape from your fruit salad in half because grapes have such a high caloric content and demand that a bottle of low-sodium mineral water be brought to your desk.  Máximo’s young Chad friends have to come over to flirt with you, so you make the entire Senate wait for you to begin your egocentric ramblings.  Then you take the floor and talk for 45 minutes about how you’re being persecuted for your beliefs and then answer another 45 texts from Máximo.  Then leader of the majority Miguel Pichetto asks to speak.  He can be so conceited sometimes thinking anyone cares what he has to say! But at least this gives you time to go to the bathroom.  You stand up and make sure to announce how unfair it is that the bathroom is so far away while you pretend to be leaving the room quietly and respectfully.  Before you know it, it’s lunchtime and you hide in your office and stuff your face with your favorite fried pig intestines so no one sees you eating anything other than fruit salad and grilled chicken.

Around 2pm another senator from your party comes and jokingly asks if you’re doing any work.  You laugh and tell him you don’t need to work to make money and smile sexily at him (because you’re talking about all your laundered money).  You spend the rest of your time in the Senate ranting on Facebook about how Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio has accused you of colluding with Iran.  What an ugly, fat son of a bitch he is!  Your post from this morning now has 450,000 likes.  You have several text messages from Máximo letting you know he wants to get dinner tonight.  So far, he’s asked for dinner 3 times and for pre-dinner drinks 4 times. You check Página|12, the one news site in the country that understands how oppressed you and other Kirchnerite policians are (but especially you).  You see an article about how Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio should be removed from the Iran case because he holds a grudge against you and is very corrupt besides. You share the article and say how hard it is for you that this competent, experienced judge is persecuting you and your family.  You get 45 likes and 45 comments agreeing with you and saying that this innocent and ruggedly handsome enforcer of the law of the land should go to hell.

After work you head back to your apartment and do 30 minutes of running on the treadmill with smoke pouring out of your ears while watching the news anchors on TV talk about your criminal behavior.  You notice your personal trainer Luciana staring at you from the weights section. She’s pretty hot, but topping you is a privilege that she has to repeatedly earn, so you put your headphones in to listen to the Gladiator soundtrack.  You wouldn’t dare take a selfie when you’re done with the treadmill, because you don’t want the public seeing what you look like with most of your eye makeup sweated off. You head off to the water cooler to drink another glass of low-sodium mineral water.  Luciana tries to make conversation with you.  She’s hot and attractively younger than you, but her last name isn’t Kirchner, so you politely make it clear that you’re not interested (today).

You already have several more likes on your reposted article about angel of justice Bonadio and more comments about how heartless he is to persecute the best president the country has ever had.  Máximo has now asked you to go out for dinner with him 6 times.  You text him 4 times and organize the night and make sure to use lots of heart emojis.  You get home and say hi to your poodle Lolita and ignore your daughter Florencia.  She’s 27 and still a vegan.  She’s always cared about the environment, stood up for the rights of dairy cows and shit like that.  Now her baby daddy dumped her because of how obsessed with soy milk and social justice she is.  Maybe if she showed some ambition like you did.  You got into politics relatively early on because the electorate noticed how charming, sexy, and honest you are.  She was always Dad’s favorite though, and never appreciated you enough before he died.  She could be such a selfish bitch sometimes.

You call your 89 year-old mom and tell her that you want to buy a new Birkin bag but don’t want to use any of the funds you’ve thoughtfully embezzled from public works projects.  She gives you 6,088,350 pesos that she earned from scamming the Post Office.  You say thank you, even though you know you don’t really need it because you recently had a net worth of 80 million USD.  You deserve it for simply being Cristina Kirchner.

You decide it’s time to meet up with Máximo.  You need protection out on the street though in case the people who have seen through your grating charisma and realize what a sexy piece of shit you really are decide to throw eggs at you again.  You text some of Máximo’s buff, Chad friends from La Cámpora to come walk with you. You take fifty selfies and a dozen videos for your YouTube channel while you’re walking down the street.  Some men who also happen to work as federal judges and prosecutors call out to you about how immoral you are, and you and your Chad posse laugh hilariously.  All these guys aren’t getting laid, right?  Like, why do they even bother?

As soon as you get to the restaurant Máximo comes to greet you and plies you with expensive wine.  You don’t really plan on staying though because you want to have a private night with your good for nothing Chad son who’s never had a job interview in his life.  You make sure to keep his handsome male friends from La Cámpora there so they can protect Máximo’s blubbery body and lack of a law degree too.

After 4 men come to talk to you and tell you they definitely don’t believe that you allegedly ordered the murder of a prosecutor who was about to accuse you of collusion with Iran, which gets them kisses on the cheek from you, you abandon the restaurant and head off down the street with Máximo.  People greet him with respect even though he has no degrees from institutions of higher learning and owns 45 SUVs purchased with stolen money.  Your Chad bodyguards get in between you and Máximo and the innocent Argentinian citizens who you proclaim to love so much who are demanding you answer for your disgraceful crimes and complete lack of disrespect for our justice system, especially learnèd and powerful Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio. Máximo takes a video of you two walking down the street while ignoring the demands of your countrymen.  You can’t stop laughing at how empowered it makes you feel to ignore this persecution.  This is great!

At home you and Máximo sit close together on your expensive imported couch and talk because literally no one matters to you other than the degenerates in your family.  Máximo tells you how he’s broken up with his latest girlfriend, just another one in a series of girls who look like a broke-ass version of you.  You tell him how you approve of this because she was a distraction—Kirchners need to stick together.  That’s why you refuse to testify in your court appearance and won’t meet Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio’s eyes when he greets you.  Some guys can be so pathetic.  Your lawyer Gregorio is texting you.  He is a pretty hot Chad and you’ve considered ****ing him to see if that will get you free legal representation and perhaps inspire him to bribe the jury (with his own money, not yours).  Your degenerate son Máximo gets jealous so you stop replying.  The only thing you love more than defrauding and deceiving an entire country while dressing like an oversexed mom is your son who always seems to get girlfriends even though he has accomplished nothing in life (certainly nothing like going to law school and becoming a Federal Justice, anyway).  You make plans to have Máximo spend the night. You ask him which of your apartment’s 5 bedrooms he’d like to sleep in and he says he wants to sleep in yours. Gregorio is still texting you but you have long since stopped replying.  Even your Chad lawyer is kind of acting like a loser right now.  You tell Máximo that of course he can sleep in your bed with you because he’s such a big strong boy who spends Mommy’s laundered money so well. He is a literally perfect Kirchner. You remember Florencia telling you that it’s weird that Máximo still likes to sleep in your bed at age 40, yet she’s the one sleeping alone tonight.  You laugh to yourself. She must be doing something wrong.  She’s obviously not worthy of the kind of love you and Máximo share.

After a night as deviant as you are, you wake up to Luciana asking if you’ll have hot girl-on-girl sex with her today, your mom sending you her fraudulent money for your new Birkin bag, and 450 comments on a leaked photo someone took of you on the treadmill saying you look good even with your 45 pounds of mascara smeared all over your face.  It’s only 9am.  Máximo brings you cake in bed and you post another article trashing the blameless silver fox Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio on all your social media profiles.  Today is going to be a good day!