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A.M Baggs

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Last updated 13 May 2005

"Help! I Seem to be Getting More Autistic!"

What's this about?

Every so often, someone says, with perplexity, "I seem to be getting more autistic. I don't know why, and I know that doesn't sound possible, but it seems to be happening."

Those of us who experience this are often surprised, because of the general perceptions that are out there about autism. It is viewed either as something stable, or, as in the writings of Liane Holliday Willey, Temple Grandin, and other authors, as something that fades away with age.

The fact that some autistic people lose abilities with age is well-documented, but it is not always discussed in clear ways. It is clouded by terms like regression (which implies that loss of skills is growing backwards), functioning level (which implies that all functioning is affected at the same level and that this can be measured in a linear fashion), and more autistic (which implies similar things to functioning level). When autistic people ask organizations about it, we often get confusing answers — for example, when I asked one representative of a major autism organization about being an autistic person who lost some movement skills in adolescence, she said, "Yes, there is such a thing as late-onset autism," as if I had not been autistic before this happened.

This has been writing itself in my head for a long time. It started writing itself on paper about a year ago or more. I wish I'd had a list of things like this a few years ago, and it's based on what I'd like to have known. I hope it will be useful to other autistic people. It is intended to give people a list of starting points to understand what is happening to them. It is, though a starting point — more heavily focused on what is going on than what to do about it. This is because there are still more questions than answers, and because answers vary from person to person. I am providing answers that come with more questions. It is also intended to be practical first, medically perfect second — some of the research or opinions linked to from here may be largely wrong, but may be a starting point to looking at other things.

I hope it will be useful to other autistic people, who are the primary audience. Personal information is only disclosed because I hope someone in a similar situation would find it useful. This page could also be useful for non-autistic people who have an autistic person in their lives who is acting more stereotypically autistic than they had been, but they are not the people I'm directly aiming this at. It is not, and probably cannot be, exhaustive, and there will be things I cannot cover in here. However, I do try to cover everything I can think of, including things that are relatively uncommon. If something doesn't seem to fit, or seems obvious, feel free to ignore it. I will try to improve and add to this as time goes on.

I would like to cite my sources for this information, but unfortunately I don't remember most of the sources. I have included a list of further references at the bottom, but a lot of this is consolidated from years of information-gathering in which I did not frequently take note of where I found the information. New sections of this document contain the date they were added.

Note: If you are fairly new to knowing you are autistic or thinking about being autistic, you might want to read the section about learning that you are autistic before anything else.

What could be going on?

Note that in some of the cases below, neither the situation nor the result is necessarily negative.

Aging

When non-autistic people age, they often lose some of their former cognitive abilities in a subtle way. When autistic people age, what would be subtle in a non-autistic person can cause extreme-looking differences in an autistic person, because our hold on certain kinds of cognition is so shaky in the first place.

There has been very little study done on what happens to autistic people as they get older, but personal reports suggest that many common ways of dealing with the world as an autistic person can become less feasible with time. Thus, a person who has been working very hard to keep up with the non-autistic world may suddenly find herself slowing down and needing to do less of it. This can look like becoming more autistic, even when it's simply being less able to adjust.

Basic physical needs

This may sound obvious, but to a lot of us, it isn't. If a person lacks food, water, sleep, and in some cases hygiene, they are not going to function as well. Autistic or non-autistic. If you are malnourished (which can happen even if you eat the right amount of food, if you're not eating the right kinds of food or if your metabolism is fast), dehydrated (which some fluids you drink can contribute to rather than solve), or sleep-deprived (which can happen even if you sleep a lot, if you have something like sleep apnea interfering with sleep), you are not going to function as well. It is a good idea to look into these basics before anything else — wherever possible, if you improve food, water, and sleep, you might see improvement.

Being around other autistic people

For those of us who are echolalic or echopraxic, being around other autistic people can cause us to pick up mannerisms, phrasings, and sounds from others. When I lived around mostly non-autistic people, while I had autistic patterns of doing things, I was more likely to pick up non-autistic mannerisms to add to them. When I was in special ed, I picked up (without always realizing it at the time) mannerisms not only from other autistic people, but from at least one student with cerebral palsy.

There is something about other autistic people, though, that makes their mannerisms easier and more natural-feeling for me to echo than anyone else's — even when they are things I had not done before, they feel more right on my body. Some other autistic people have reported that being around other autistic people has a similar influence on them, and this has also been reported by Touretters.

Note: Some people see this kind of thing and say that it is exactly why autistic people should be kept away from other autistic people. I do not believe this. I do not believe that it is worse to have autistic mannerisms than non-autistic mannerisms, and I do not believe that autistic people make bad role models. I definitely don't believe that any of this is a reason to separate autistic people from each other or to encourage an autistic person to dislike being around other autistic people.

Brain damage

Non-autistic people with brain damage often develop traits that bear some resemblance to autism. Since autism is developmental, our brains have already developed the way they are, damaged or not, so there are some differences. But if an autistic person develops significant enough brain damage, it could show up as looking more autistic.

Many autistic people self-injure by banging our heads. This can cause brain damage, especially if we do it frequently, very hard, or to the point of knocking ourselves out or causing minor concussions. Having a head injury for some other reason, stroke, or brain tumor can cause brain damage. So can the drugs and shock treatments (ECT) that some autistic people are given.

The Traumatic Brain Injury Survival Guide gives some information about how brain damage can change a person. Many of the same traits can be autistic traits, so having them does not necessarily indicate recent brain damage.

Burnout

Burnout, long-term shutdown, or whatever you want to call it, happens generally when you have been doing much more than you should be doing. Most people have a level to which they are capable of functioning without burnout, a level to which they are capable of functioning for emergency purposes only, and a level to which they simply cannot function. In autistic people in current societies, that first level is much narrower. Simply functioning at a minimally acceptable level to non-autistic people or for survival, can push us into the zone that in a non-autistic person would be reserved for emergencies. Prolonged functioning in emergency mode can result in loss of skills and burnout.

With some diseases with long-term effects (and I am not suggesting that autism is a disease), it is the people who tried to ignore the long-term effects and "act normal" who often burn out, probably because they are drawing on emergency reserves to do so. There is a high chance that autistic people who attempt to ignore the fact that they are autistic and act like non-autistic people are subject to the same kind of burnout, or even autistic people who push themselves too hard in general without trying to look normal.

The danger here may be obvious: It may be the people most capable of passing for normal, the most obvious "success stories" in the eyes of non-autistic people (some of whom became so adept at passing that they were never considered autistic in the first place), who are the most likely to burn out the hardest and suddenly need to either act in very conspicuously autistic ways or die.

To the outside world, this can look as if a forty-year-old perfectly normal person suddenly starts acting like a very stereotypically autistic person, and they can believe that this is a sudden change rather than a cumulative burnout eventually resulting in a complete inability to function in any way that looks remotely normal. The outside world is not used to things like this, and the autistic person might not be either. They might look for the sudden onset of a neurological disorder, or for psychological causes, and receive inappropriate "treatments" for both of these, when really all that has happened is massive and total burnout.

This can also look much less spectacular, or be much more gradual, and it can happen in any autistic person. Sometimes, with more supports or a change in pace or environment, the skills lost come back partially or totally. Sometimes the loss in skills appears to be permanent — but even that can be somewhat deceptive, because sometimes it is simply that the person can no longer push themselves far beyond what their original capacity was in the first place.

Sometimes this kind of burnout is what leads adults to seek diagnosis and services. Unfortunately, many service systems that would otherwise support people in their own homes, cater only to people who were diagnosed in childhood, and will look at someone with a very good neurotypical-looking track record of jobs, marriages, and children with suspicion. They need to be made more aware of this possibility, because there's a high chance that an adult in this situation could end up jobless, homeless, institutionalized, misdiagnosed, given inappropriate medical treatment, or dead.

People training autistic children to look more normal or refusing to tell their children they are autistic also need to be aware of this possibility, because this is the potential end result ten, twenty, thirty, or forty years down the road. This is one of the biggest reasons for teaching us to learn and grow as ourselves, accounting for our strengths and weaknesses rather than as counterfeit neurotypicals.

Catatonia

While this is more of a sign than a cause, it is worth mentioning here. There seems to be a subgroup of autistic people who develop an increase in manifestations of catatonia during adolescence or early adulthood. This can happen to different degrees, and it can come and go. The cause is unknown at this time, and most researchers have focused on movement, although some autistic people have found that sensory issues are affected as well.

Catatonia is a much broader term than the stereotype of sitting in one place in an odd posture doing nothing, and it is not synonymous with hallucinations or something. It is a word used to describe any of a number of unusual movement patterns, including but not limited to freezing in a position from anywhere from seconds to days (and either being immovable or bendable into any position a person wants to bend you into), echolalia (imitating others' speech), echopraxia (imitating others' movements). Many of these traits are already present in autism to begin with, so it is thought that in some people, these traits may amplify over time for some reason.

Lorna Wing and Amitta Shah have written a paper on the subject of exacerbation of catatonia: Catatonia in Autistic Spectrum Disorders. While they have written about people in which this is extreme, they note that there are other people who have similar movement issues but who did not have enough of them to qualify for the study.

Note: It should be noted that catatonia can be easily exacerbated by neuroleptic drugs, which interfere with the process of directly connecting thought to movement, and that lethality of such drugs among people with catatonia is much higher than in the general population. If you develop signs of catatonia while on a neuroleptic drug (prescribed as "antipsychotic" and sometimes antiemetic), seek medical care immediately, because this can sometimes be a sign of a potentially-fatal reaction.

Change in Environment or Routine

Here are some of the more major examples of this category:

Getting married or divorced.

Getting fired, getting a job, or changing jobs.

Promotion or demotion at work.

Changing schools, dropping out of school, going up or down a grade in school, or entering school.

Moving to a new house or apartment.

Moving out of or into an institution.

Death in the family (human or non-human).

Making a new friend or losing a friend.

Change can be a lot more subtle, though. It can be someone moving your stuff around the room, or hanging a new picture on the wall. It can be changes in weather, climate, or society over time. Since having a regular routine is one way autistic people deal with the environment, when that routine is disrupted, then autistic people often rely on other autistic ways of dealing with things. We can also have less energy to deal with things and thus look more outwardly autistic. Depending on the person and the nature of the changes, this appearance of being "more autistic-looking" can be temporary or long-term.

Compartmentalized learning style, or trouble generalizing

[Added 15 May, 2004]

Some autistic people learn things, but have trouble accessing what we learn out of context. For example, if you (as I did) learn right and left facing a certain wall in a certain room, you might be unable to tell left from right outside of that room. Then, as you learn to generalize it a little bit, you might learn to tell left from right, but only when you are facing east.

If you learn a skill in one environment, you might think you have mastered it. And you might be right — in that environment. But then when you leave that environment, or when a small aspect of that environment changes, you might end up disoriented and unable to do something that you seemed very good at before.

Many autistic people know a lot of things, or know how to do a lot of things, but have a lot of trouble bringing that knowledge out on command. We might rely on triggers in our environments to help us do those things, but in the absence of triggers, our minds might go blank and be unable to come up with the right answer or skill to fill the needs of the moment. We might have one set of skills and knowledge that we can use with ease in one situation, and a completely different set of skills and knowledge that we can use with ease in another situation. In some situations, we may be unable to get at much of this knowledge at all.

This can make for some interesting experiences with apparent loss of knowledge and skills, or even having to relearn the same thing over and over when we forget we've learned it, or need to learn it for a new context. I don't know how many times I've told someone I didn't know something, and then later had the knowledge they wanted triggered in a different context. If this happens to you in drastic enough ways, it can be essentially the same as losing a skill, perhaps forgetting you ever had it, and having to relearn it from scratch if you can relearn it at all.

As an example, I was, as nearly all children were where I was a kid, drilled over and over again in what kinds of strangers to avoid. Like the kind who would lure you into a car with a toy. Yet as a twenty-something adult I was almost lured into a car by a toy. What stopped me was not that I remembered this was dangerous, but that I didn't like the people who were doing it or the fact that they kept touching me and talking about sex. I did not perceive what they might do to me, only that they were unpleasant. I had this skill, somewhere in my brain, but it did not come out at the appropriate moment, and it was days before I put things together enough to relearn this. I still do not know if it is in place enough that this could not happen again.

While what I describe is different from what happens in what gets called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it can definitely be amplified by PTSD. PTSD can involve mentally shoving certain terrible experiences into compartments where they hopefully won't be found easily, and it can increase a tendency to compartmentalize knowledge in general.

Deliberately adopting new strategies

The ways that autistic people behave do not materialize out of nowhere in order to make us look strange. They have purpose to us, and may help us to deal more efficiently with the world than the way a non-autistic person would go about the same task. Often, many autistic people will independently come up with the same way of approaching a situation (some of these ways are so common that they make it into the diagnostic criteria). However, not all autistic people will come up with these things, or some will have come up with them and eradicated them so long ago they don't remember having come up with them.

This leads to the situation in which an autistic person who has trouble dealing with a situation may deliberately choose to approach that situation in the same way as someone she have met who is also autistic. This has the advantage of being more likely to suit an autistic person's brain and senses.

For instance, a commonly-described activity among autistic people is to carry a single object everywhere. Not all autistic people come up with this on their own, but it can be a very effective way of dealing with the increased load of sensory input and processing demands in new places. An autistic adult may see someone doing that and think, "Okay, if they do that and it works, I'm going to try it." They may then look "more autistic" because they are using an strategy that is more efficient for the needs of an autistic brain rather than a non-autistic one.

This can happen with nearly anything labeled an "autistic behavior," because autistic people behave the ways we do for a reason. A person may stop making eye contact because he wants to listen to what is being said. He may start moving his hands in front of his face to regulate visual input. He might start regulating the amount he interacts with people in order to avoid overload and burnout. He may not have thought of doing these things before, but after seeing them work for another autistic person, he may have adopted them and found them more useful than anything a non-autistic person could come up with. This is not a bad thing.

Disuse

[Added 15 May, 2004]

Most people find that if they don't continually practise a skill, their ability to perform it fades. This can be the same for autistics, although it is not always the case. (It is not always the case for neurotypicals, either, hence the saying "It's like riding a bicycle" to describe a skill you haven't used but that is not lost with time.)

Autistic people can find that if we don't do things for long enough, we forget how to do them. Even if they are not the sort of things non-autistic people forget. (I nearly needed training wheels after not using a bicycle for a few years.) This effect can be amplified if the skills in question are not only not used, but not desirable in a certain situation (such as assertiveness in an institution).

If you have not done something for a long time, there is a chance that you will have forgotten much of how to do it. (There is also a chance that you have gained ability to do it, which I do not understand but which has happened to me a lot with skills I leave dormant for awhile.) This can mean you have to relearn it wholly or partly, and it may not come back to your previous level of ability.

Dropping a facade or rebellion against a taught behavior pattern

In those of autistics who either appear normal or try to appear normal, the facade of normalcy may be maintained by a set of precarious strategies. Anything that interferes with one of those strategies can cause large parts of the act to disintegrate.

A person may even be spending so much energy on these strategies that he does not have any energy left over to notice that he is acting. When the facade drops, he is left wondering what happened.

Other autistic people consciously say "Enough is enough," and stop expending a whole lot of energy trying to look like someone they are not, or doing things that they have been taught to do but which are useless to them. If you do this, be aware that what to you feels like you are the same way you always were but with less acting, to other people it can look like you've suddenly become a new person. This does not make it bad — in fact, it's important for people to be able to live life as themselves and not as an act — but the unpredictable behavior that others might have in response to this is worth preparation for where possible.

Drugs

Any drug that acts on the brain can have an unusual effect on an autistic person, and amplify traits. It should be noted that I am not a doctor. The following descriptions are culled from both medical literature and the personal experiences of many autistic people I have known, read, observed, and been. There has not been a great deal of research into the exact effects of drugs on autistic people, but we can definitely have unusual reactions — underreactions, overreactions, and "paradoxical" (reverse) reactions being the most common. None of the things I am about to relate are true of everyone, although some are more likely than others. And I am only putting the things in here that could relate to an apparent increase in autistic traits.

Neuroleptic ("antipsychotic") drugs, including the newer ("atypical") neuroleptics, can increase problems with cognition and voluntary movement, can lower the seizure threshold (see epilepsy) and induce a motor restlessness (akathisia) that can result in increased stimming, self-injury, and aggression. They can also induce a condition called tardive dyskinesia, which results in involuntary stim-like movements and cognitive losses and is close to irreversible. These drugs can also cause permanent changes to the shape of the brain, which are probably implicated in the long-term changes in cognition and movement. My father says that I have never moved the same — and that I look much more stereotypically autistic — since the first day I took Thorazine (chlorpromazine), and it has been eight years since that day, and four years since I stopped taking any related drug.

[Note: If you are on a neuroleptic and develop catatonia, seek assistance immediately and consider discontinuing the drug in the safest way possible. That can be an early warning sign of a potentially fatal syndrome called Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome (NMS). Even if you have an autism-related form of catatonia, this can be serious — in fact people with catatonia to begin with are more susceptible to NMS and to other adverse reactions to neuroleptics. Yes, I'm repeating myself, but this is life and death.]

Antidepressants can potentially disinhibit us, making us more likely to act impulsively and immediately on thoughts. Some people may find that they are more hyper and stimmy. Some people, such as Dave Spicer on bit.listserv.autism, report that their sense of being behind a facade increases. Some people have found that their sensory issues get worse and find the environment more overstimulating, and others have found themselves more anxious or active.

Stimulants can increase anxiety, which can lead to an increase in the sort of things we do to alleviate anxiety. They can also increase movement in general, making us more stimmy or ticcy.

Sedatives can impair thinking, with all the possible things that go with that.

Anticonvulsants can impair thinking and perception. If this is happening to you with one anticonvulsant, it might be a good idea to ask your doctor or neurologist about other ones. I had to try several (including one that induced outright delirium) before I found one that was acceptable.

The strong anti-fungals prescribed by some doctors in the (nearly always mistaken) belief that an autistic person has a "systemic candida infection" can cause a person to become extremely sick, which can in turn cause all the things that can go along with being sick.

Some street drugs, such as marijuana or LSD, can increase sensory fragmentation, sensory distortion, distorted sense of time, speech problems, anxiety, and so forth. Autistic people have reported extremely varying and unusual reactions to these drugs.

Emotional state

If you're in a bad mood, it can affect your ability to do things as much as being sick can. If you're in a long-term bad mood of some kind, that can have the same effect on your ability to do certain things as a physical illness. Even a very good mood, like being in love, can be stressful and reduce your capacity to do various things. Non-autistic people have a term — "lovesick" — that exemplifies the degree to which even a positive emotion can incapacitate people.

This means that if you are experiencing rage, depression, terror, love, hate, infatuation, or any other extreme emotional state, you could very well end up appearing to be more autistic than usual. Some people, though, find that they look less stereotypically autistic in these states, and that calmness and being at ease makes them look more stereotypical. For instance, if a person has been conditioned by fear into avoiding unusual movements, they may stop rocking when terrified and start rocking when calm again.

Trauma is an extreme emotional reaction to a usually-extreme negative situation, and it can cause significant loss of skills even in non-autistic people. If you have ever been in a situation where your life was in danger and that has changed you significantly, that is one example. If you have ever been abused (emotionally, physically, or sexually), whether by your family members, classmates in school, teachers, strangers, or staff, that can be another example. It is also possible that autistic people with some kinds of sensory sensitivities are more likely to perceive certain stimuli, such as being held down, as unbearably traumatic.

Epilepsy

There are many forms of epilepsy, not just the tonic-clonic ("grand mal") seizures people are used to hearing about. Some forms of seizures can even take place while conscious, and alter perception in some way rather than causing a blackout of some kind. Not all seizures are in the right part of the brain to be easily detectable on an EEG, and not everyone can manage to have seizures in the laboratory when the EEG is taking place.

There is an estimate that 25% of autistic people develop seizures of some kind at some point during our lives, and this often happens at adolescence.

Some researchers have hypothesized that there are autistic people who develop seizures or subclinical seizure-like activity in adolescence and lose a lot of skills. A popular article by Stephen Edelson is Autism, Puberty, and the Possibility of Seizures, although I make no claims for the accuracy of the part about vitamins and supplements and would not advocate experimenting on other people with them.

Erecting a new facade

There is a subgroup of autistic people who get along in life by imitating non-autistic people. Imitation can become a habit. When they learn that they are autistic, or when they start becoming more identified with being autistic, they can almost reflexively throw up another facade: That of imitating themselves to the point of self-caricature, or imitating other autistic people in a fairly superficial way the same way as they always had with non-autistic people.

As noted elsewhere, it is also possible for autistic people to deliberately or accidentally adopt each other's mannerisms or strategies for dealing with life without it being a facade.

Excuses or laziness

This is the section I am reluctant to write, because most of the people accused of doing this are not actually doing it, and too many of us have had to face these accusations to a degree that can even endanger our lives. But since it is a real possibility, it needs to be described. I just hope this doesn't cause too many autistic people to sit around questioning themselves to death, or too many non-autistic people to push autistic people beyond our capacity. Be aware that in the scheme of things, this is rare.

Some people and groups of people — autistic or not — have the sort of personality that is prone to making excuses not to do things they should do, to do things they shouldn't do, and to self-pity or public appeals for pity. This is not to be confused with sensibly rationing one's activities in order to avoid cumulative overload, or with stating the facts about one's life or abilities. But it does happen. And people who are prone to doing this, who are autistic, will naturally drag autism into things. As they would anything else.

Unfortunately, most of us who are accused of doing these things really are not. If you are agonizing over this, please stop if possible — agonizing won't do any good whether this applies to you or not, and most likely it does not. If you are a non-autistic person ready to accuse an autistic person of doing this, be aware you could be very wrong, and cause a person a lot of damage in pushing them too far.

Gaining or using new skills

It can be a normal part of even non-autistic people's development, that when a certain difficult skill is being gained, others are temporarily lost. In autistic people, this loss or disruption of skills can be longer-term or permanent, and more prominent than it would be in a non-autistic person. An autistic person who learns to talk may lose some social skills, an autistic person who gains some social skills may lose the ability to talk, and all kinds of other combinations of things. This may be a natural part of learning for some people, and in others it may be a sign that they're being pushed too far.

Many autistic people can only devote energy to one thing at a time. If you want to improve your ability to listen to people, you might have to give less eye contact. If you want to understand your surroundings without too much overload, you might have to rock and flap your hands more. When you're actually using more skill in one area, you might look more autistic to others because you don't have the energy to do things to look normal. See the section "Deliberately Adopting New Strategies".

Habit

Autistic people can be very much creatures of habit, literally needing objects to stay in the same locations and routines to happen the same way every time in order to function. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this; it is similar to how blind people frequently need things to stay in the same spot in a room so they can find them.

When you get into a routine, and have been doing the exact same routine for thirty years, it becomes much harder to deviate from the routine than it was when you had only been doing it for a year. Smaller changes seem like bigger changes. Travelling away from the place you are used to can feel like chaos, and your ways of dealing with that chaos can seem more outwardly autistic to you or an outside observer.

If you are concerned about this, it might be a good idea to force tiny changes in routine every now and then, and gradually make them bigger. This may be impossible for some people, but for others it can help them maintain a certain degree of flexibility, even if it is much less flexibility than a non-autistic person normally has. In any case, it's a personal decision.

Hormones

Hormonal changes can take place in a person's life for several reasons: Puberty, female menstrual cycles, menopause, and other generally normal hormonal changes in people's lives. Some people will also end up taking hormone pills for a variety of reasons. Just as hormones can change a lot of things about non-autistic people, they can change things in autistic people. Some autistic people react to these times in our lives in fairly extreme ways, for some reason.

Increased developmental demands

People — in general — are expected to follow a certain pattern of development. Autistic people rarely follow the usual pattern, and even when we seem to, there can be important differences. We are expected, however, to develop in a certain way, and the societies we live in are structured to the developmental standards of the non-autistic majority.

Because of this, our behavior may stay the same while expectations change around us. When I was six years old, curling up in a ball and hiding under things was something my parents called "curling up small". They thought it was cute. By the time I was a teenager it was considered pathological, written up as "regressing to the fetal position" in my medical records, and viewed by institution staff as attention-seeking. This wasn't a case of me becoming any more odd-looking, but a case of the expectations changing.

There are a lot of skills that people are expected to gain at different stages in life, that many autistic people only gain in a limited way, if at all. Sometimes we lack some very fundamental precursors to those skills, but this lack shows up in different ways in childhood than adulthood.

For instance, when I was a child, I could not clean my desk or locker. I was often kept after class to do so. I had poor sequencing skills and my perception of the world was so fragmented that even with the best of intentions and coaching there was no way I could get things into a semblance of order, and the only way I could get things even vaguely close was to take hours longer than any other child my age would have.

In the scheme of things as a child, this rates as "annoying".

Fast forward to adolescence and adulthood. The same sequencing and perceptual skills that were required in order to clean a desk, were also required in order to do what is expected of older people. Suddenly, without even having to lose any skills, I started to look a whole lot odder: A teenager who never bathed, never combed her hair, and wore the same clothes for weeks. An adult who could not grocery shop, take the bus, cook, eat, bathe, maintain a minimally sanitary environment, or remember that the front yard was not a toilet. This was not for lack of exposure to the means of learning these skills — my siblings learned them to a greater extent than I did — but for lack of having ever had the abilities that precede these skills. What was annoying as a child was life-threatening as an adult, not because the skill changed, but because the expectations of the environment changed.

There is another side to this as well. With increased demands usually comes an increased attempt to meet the demands of the environment. This can overtax an autistic person, with the usual kinds of results: Overload, burnout, or loss of other skills.

Institutionalization

Institutions can affect non-autistic people in certain ways that are very characteristic. They can create an inability to function without specific routines and rituals. They can create passivity and the inability to do anything that a person is not directly told to do. They can create disorientation when outside of a small familiar area. They can create an inability to approach people directly. They can cause a person to lose previously acquired skills for coping with the outside world, in favor of skills that are more adapted for the current environment and that can be harder to lose. Trauma, isolation, or sensory deprivation can cause a person to rock and stim. Prolonged isolation or specific social situations unique to institutions can cause detachment from other people.

These things can happen to autistic people too, and we've already got some of those traits.

There are many kinds of institutions. When I first got out of institutions, I didn't believe I had ever been institutionalized, because none of the places I was kept called themselves institutions and I was very literal. Institutional situations can occur in hospitals, group homes, state schools, residential schools, nursing homes, and similar places. Similar things can happen if you are in a highly structured environment such as the military or a monastery or convent.

Aside from these things, some supported living arrangements can be institutional despite their claims otherwise, some parents can run their homes like institutions, and some behavior modification programs can cause similar effects. Special education schools, day programs, and sheltered workshops can have this kind of effect too. And with just about any place that has an isolation room (often known as a "quiet room", "seclusion room", etc.), or any place where you have been deliberately locked in a closet or cupboard (or any other small room; some people lock people in bathrooms) by someone else for any reason, there is a fair bet that the atmosphere is the same one I'm describing. Jails and prisons, prisoner-of-war situations, and abusive relationships can also have this kind of effect to varying degrees.

At any rate, living in this kind of situation can increase certain autistic tendencies, whether to adapt to the environment or because of sheer terror resulting from bad experiences.

If you want to read more in terms of theory about the way these places can affect a person, I would recommend Asylums, by Erving Goffman, which explores the effects of not only traditionally-defined institutions but also boarding schools, the military, and monasteries. Some of the more level-headed literature out there on destructive cults (which need not be religious in nature) is not bad either, because it describes both the ways in which people can be confused into self-doubt, and also the loss of everyday living skills that comes from living in a place in which everything has been defined and controlled for you. There is plenty of such information on the Internet, and one book I have read on the subject (that had some pretty good ideas) was Combatting Cult Mind-Control by Steven Hassan. It should be warned, however, that some of this kind of literature has a psychiatric or religious slant (or both) that may not appeal to some readers.

Learning you are autistic or perseverating on autism

It is very common for people to appear more overtly autistic when first learning about autism. This can be for any number of reasons, most of which relate to other categories here. This period can last anywhere from days to years. I heard one person describe it as "the post-diagnostic regression".

Upon learning you are autistic, you might feel relieved of some degree of pressure that stems from having to push yourself hard and not knowing why. Without even meaning to, that relief can cause you to drop your guard a bit, or even be unable to continue pushing yourself as hard now that you know why you were doing it. You might spend more time around autistic people, learning autistic ways of dealing with things and possibly picking up some of their mannerisms. Behavior you have suppressed for a long time might re-emerge now that you know it's not caused by being stupid or something.

You might also be so scared that you won't be accepted as a real autistic that you start, as one person who had done so once said to me, become a "super-autistic", claiming every autistic trait you come across whether it applies to you or not. You might imitate yourself to the point of self-caricature. You might stop doing things you like doing because they don't seem autistic enough or don't conform to the stereotypes you've heard of autism. You might try so hard to regain your "lost self" that you end up creating a new facade. You might act like the autistic people you've known, figuring it's safe to act like them but not safe to do anything they don't do.

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sherristockman · 7 years

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EPA Refuses to Ban Neurotoxic Pesticide Found in 87 Percent of Newborns Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Exposure to pesticides, herbicides and insecticides has dramatically increased since the introduction of genetically engineered (GE) crops. Urine output of glyphosate, the active ingredient in the herbicide Roundup, shot up by more than 1,200 percent between 1993 and 2016.1 Unfortunately, glyphosate is not the only chemical of concern. Chlorpyrifos (sold under the trade name Lorsban) — an organophosphate insecticide known to disrupt brain development and cause brain damage, neurological abnormalities, reduced IQ and aggressiveness in children — is another.2 ,3 In adults, the chemical has been linked to Parkinson's disease4,5 and lung cancer.6 Chlorpyrifos has been in use since 1965, and is commonly used on staple crops such as wheat and corn, as well as fruits and vegetables, including nonorganic citrus, apples, cherries, strawberries, broccoli, cauliflower and dozens of others. Since the chemical has a half-life of several months and can remain on sprayed foods for up to several weeks,7 nonorganic foods are a major source of exposure. Importantly, nonorganic, non-grass fed meats are likely to be loaded with this chemical, since conventional feed consists primarily of genetically and/or conventionally-raised grains such as corn. This is yet another reason to make sure you feed your family grass fed meats and animal products, especially your young children. Chlorpyrifos is also a commonly found water contaminant, and has even been found in indoor air.8 Children experience greater exposure to chemicals pound-for-pound than adults, and have an immature and porous blood-brain barrier that allows greater chemical exposures to reach their developing brain. Needless to say, the results can be devastating and, indeed, many agricultural and industrial chemicals have been found to affect children's brain function and development specifically. Decadelong Effort to Ban Chlorpyrifos Fall Through Permissible uses of chlorpyrifos was limited in the year 2000, at which time the chemical was banned for use in homes, schools, day care facilities, parks, hospitals, nursing homes and malls. However, agricultural use remained, and it can still be used on golf courses and road medians. Scientists at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) actually pushed for a complete ban on chlorpyrifos, as its dangers are well-documented, and the chemical is in fact classified as a neurotoxin, as it disrupts communication between brain cells. Research shows that living within 1 mile of chlorpyrifos-treated fields increases a woman's risk of having an autistic child by 300 percent.9,10 A petition to ban chlorpyrifos on food was filed over a decade ago, and the lack of response from the EPA finally led to a federal court ordering the EPA to issue a decision.11 Forced to act, Scott Pruitt, President Trump-appointed head of the EPA,12 issued an order denying the petition to revoke all tolerances for chlorpyrifos on food in March 2017.13,14 As noted by NPR:15 "That's despite the agency's earlier conclusion, reached during the Obama administration, that this pesticide could pose risks to consumers. It's a signal that toxic chemicals will face less restrictive regulation by the Trump administration. In its decision, the EPA didn't exactly repudiate its earlier scientific findings. But the agency did say that there's still a lot of scientific uncertainty about the risks of chlorpyrifos … Patti Goldman, from the environmental group Earth Justice, calls the decision "unconscionable," and says that her group will fight it in court … 'Based on the harm that this pesticide causes, the EPA cannot, consistent with the law, allow it in our food.'" 87 Percent of Newborns Have Chlorpyrifos in Their Cord Blood Considering Pruitt's history of championing industry interests and the evidence showing other EPA officials have has taken an active role in protecting chemical giants against rulings that would impact their bottom line, his decision to keep chlorpyrifos on the market does raise suspicions. As noted by USA Today,16 Pruitt "filed more than a dozen lawsuits seeking to overturn some of the same regulations he is now charged with enforcing." Evidence also suggests Dow Chemical, the maker of chlorpyrifos, pressured government agencies to ignore incriminating studies (see next section). The EPA's earlier conclusion that chlorpyrifos posed a risk to consumers was largely based on research17 showing that exposure to the chemical caused measurable differences in brain function. In one study, compared to children whose exposure to the chemical was negligible, children with high levels of exposure had lower IQ at age 7.18 Research19 published in 2014 showed that pregnant women exposed to chlorpyrifos during their second trimester had a 60 percent higher risk of giving birth to an autistic child. Studies have also shown that genetic differences can make some people far more vulnerable to chlorpyrifos than others. Moreover, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, chlorpyrifos is metabolized in the human body into 3,5,6-trichloro-2-pyridinol (TCPy),20 which is even more toxic than the original insecticide. Disturbingly, California's biomonitoring program found TCPy in 82 percent of Californians sampled in 2012, including pregnant women.21 Another 2012 study,22 which measured chlorpyrifos levels in maternal and cord plasma of women and children living in an agricultural community, found measurable levels in 70.5 percent of maternal blood samples and 87.5 percent of cord blood samples. According to the authors: "Blood organophosphate pesticide levels of study participants were similar in mothers and newborns and slightly higher than those reported in other populations. However, compared to their mothers, newborns have much lower quantities of the detoxifying PON1 enzyme suggesting that infants may be especially vulnerable to organophosphate pesticide exposures." Dow Chemical Requested Evidence to Be 'Set Aside' Government-funded studies also reveal that chlorpyrifos poses serious risks to 97 percent of endangered animals in the U.S.23,24 This alone ought to be cause enough to ban this chemical, but it appears industry pressure worked its usual magic. On April 13, 2017, a legal team representing Dow Chemical and two other organophosphate manufacturers sent letters to the three agencies responsible for joint enforcement of the Endangered Species Act25,26 — the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the National Marine Fisheries Service and the Department of Commerce — asking them to "set aside" these incriminating findings, as the companies believe they are flawed. As reported by USA Today: "Over the past four years, federal scientists have compiled … more than 10,000 pages indicating the three pesticides under review — chlorpyrifos, diazinon and malathion — pose a risk to nearly every endangered species they studied. Regulators at the three federal agencies … are close to issuing findings expected to result in new limits on how and where the highly toxic pesticides can be used … The EPA's recent biological evaluation of chlorpyrifos found the pesticide is 'likely to adversely affect' 1,778 of the 1,835 animals and plants accessed as part of its study, including critically endangered or threatened species of frogs, fish, birds and mammals … In a statement, the Dow subsidiary that sells chlorpyrifos said its lawyers asked for the EPA's biological assessment to be withdrawn because its 'scientific basis was not reliable.'" Pruitt claims he's "trying to restore regulatory sanity to EPA's work." I would argue the definition of sanity is first not to abandon the EPA's mandate to protect the public health and, further, not to give developmentally crippling toxins a free pass and ignoring loads of unbiased research documenting its toxicity. At present, the EPA is also in the process of reassessing atrazine, another pernicious and exceptionally toxic agricultural chemical. It remains to be seen whether the agency will finally take a firm stand against this pernicious toxin, or let it slide like chlorpyrifos and glyphosate. Toxic Exposures Have Robbed Americans of 41 Million IQ Points Problems with cognitive function that are not severe enough for diagnosis are becoming even more common than neurobehavioral development disorders. In 2012, David Bellinger, Ph.D., professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School, published a study funded by the National Institutes of Health where he calculated the impact of toxic exposures on children's IQ.27 He determined that based on a population of 25.5 million children, aged birth to 5, those born to mothers exposed to organophosphates, mercury or lead during pregnancy suffered a combined loss of 16.9 million IQ points. Researchers calculated a collective loss of 41 million IQ points in the U.S. from the same exposures.28 Conventional farmers are reluctant to stop using pesticides as this will put their crops at risk, and pesticide makers will not support a ban for obvious reasons. But at what point do we say enough is enough? How many children have to be sacrificed for financial profits? Considering the lack of proactive measures from government and industry, it's up to each and every one of us to be proactive in our own lives. One of the most effective ways to reduce your exposure to toxic pesticides, herbicides and insecticides is to buy certified organic foods, or better yet, foods certified biodynamic. Environmental Toxins Kill 1.7 Million Children Annually, Worldwide Untested chemicals should not be presumed safe.29 The World Health Organization (WHO) has stated that environmental pollution, including but not limited to toxic exposures, kills 1.7 million children every year.30 The top five causes of death for children under 5 are related to their environment. A recent report from CHEMTrust, a British charity working internationally to prevent man-made chemicals from triggering damage to wildlife or humans, found current chemical testing is not adequately picking up chemicals that cause developmental neurotoxicity.31 Their "No Brainer" report32 evaluated the impact of chemicals on the development of a child's brain. The report praised the European Food Safety Authority for work on risk assessment of pesticides and recommended their approach be expanded to include chemicals from other sources.33 They also recommended chemicals used for food contact material be routinely tested and screened for developmental neurotoxicity. The report also called for a taskforce to identify and develop better ways to screen chemicals before use. Without a doubt, the U.S. needs to follow suit and take a stronger stance against chemicals suspected of neurotoxicity. How to Protect Your Family From Toxic Pesticides According to a U.S. Department of Agriculture report on pesticide residues in food,34 in 2014, 41 percent of samples had no detectable pesticide residues. The following year, a mere 15 percent of all the food samples tested were free from pesticide residues. That just goes to show how rapidly and dramatically our pesticide exposure has increased. Here's a summary of commonsense recommendations that will help reduce your exposure to pesticides, and help you eliminate toxins you may already have been exposed to: • As a general rule, your safest bet is to grow your own food, followed by buying certified organic or, better yet, biodynamic produce, and grass fed or pastured meats and animal products. See the listing below for sources where you can locate farm-fresh foods locally. If you cannot afford an all-organic/biodynamic diet, focus on buying grass fed and organic pastured meats first. Next, familiarize yourself with average pesticide loads and buy (or grow) organic varieties of produce known to carry the highest amounts of pesticides. You can find a quick rundown in the Consumer Reports video above.35 Another excellent source, which is updated annually, is the Environmental Working Group's (EWG) shopper's guide36 to pesticides in produce. • Filtering your drinking water is also important. To remove pesticides, look for a filter certified by the NSF International to meet American National Standards Institute Standard 53 for volatile organic compounds reduction. This will ensure the filter is capable of significantly reducing pesticides.37 Most activated carbon filters will meet this requirement and get the job done. • Carefully wash all nonorganic produce to remove surface pesticides. According to a recent study,38 the most effective cleaning method, by far, is to wash your produce using a mixture of tap water and baking soda. Soaking apples in a 1 percent baking soda solution for 12 to 15 minutes was found to remove 80 percent of the fungicide thiabendazole and 96 percent of the insecticide phosmet. • Lastly, if you know you have been exposed to pesticides, eating fermented foods and/or using a low-EMF far infrared sauna can be helpful, especially if combined with an optimal supplemental detox regimen including binders to catch the toxins that are mobilized from the fats. The lactic acid bacteria formed during the fermentation of kimchi has been shown to help your body break down pesticides. Where to Find Organic Farm-Fresh Foods If you live in the U.S., the following organizations can help you locate wholesome farm-fresh foods in your area: Demeter USA Demeter-USA.org provides a directory of certified Biodynamic farms and brands. This directory can also be found on BiodynamicFood.org. American Grassfed Association The goal of the American Grassfed Association is to promote the grass fed industry through government relations, research, concept marketing and public education. Their website also allows you to search for AGA approved producers certified according to strict standards that include being raised on a diet of 100 percent forage; raised on pasture and never confined to a feedlot; never treated with antibiotics or hormones; born and raised on American family farms. EatWild.com EatWild.com provides lists of farmers known to produce raw dairy products as well as grass fed beef and other farm-fresh produce (although not all are certified organic). Here you can also find information about local farmers markets, as well as local stores and restaurants that sell grass fed products. Weston A. Price Foundation Weston A. Price has local chapters in most states, and many of them are connected with buying clubs in which you can easily purchase organic foods, including grass fed raw dairy products like milk and butter. Grassfed Exchange The Grassfed Exchange has a listing of producers selling organic and grass fed meats across the U.S. Local Harvest This website will help you find farmers markets, family farms and other sources of sustainably grown food in your area where you can buy produce, grass fed meats and many other goodies. Farmers Markets A national listing of farmers markets. Eat Well Guide: Wholesome Food from Healthy Animals The Eat Well Guide is a free online directory of sustainably raised meat, poultry, dairy and eggs from farms, stores, restaurants, inns, hotels and online outlets in the United States and Canada. Community Involved in Sustaining Agriculture (CISA) CISA is dedicated to sustaining agriculture and promoting the products of small farms. FoodRoutes The FoodRoutes "Find Good Food" map can help you connect with local farmers to find the freshest, tastiest food possible. On their interactive map, you can find a listing for local farmers, CSAs and markets near you. The Cornucopia Institute The Cornucopia Institute maintains web-based tools rating all certified organic brands of eggs, dairy products and other commodities, based on their ethical sourcing and authentic farming practices separating CAFO "organic" production from authentic organic practices. RealMilk.com If you're still unsure of where to find raw milk, check out Raw-Milk-Facts.com and RealMilk.com. They can tell you what the status is for legality in your state, and provide a listing of raw dairy farms in your area. The Farm to Consumer Legal Defense Fund39 also provides a state-by-state review of raw milk laws.40 California residents can also find raw milk retailers using the store locator available at http://ift.tt/UJjPq1.

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