#also this isn't as serious but it IS funny:

[fangirlmermaid]

You promised!

Summary: Reuniting with someone from the past. It doesn't go as planned.

Pairing: Logan x G!N Reader (platonic) x Deadpool x G!N Reader (Platonic)

Warning: Smoking, language, death, death threats, Angst

maybe some bad grammar and wrong punctuation.

(sorry if Deadpool isn't funny enough)

That night still haunts you, the screams echo in your ears, and the pile of your friends' dead bodies that you had to dig your way out of still makes your skin crawl. Fortunately, your ability to summon/ commune with the dead also gave you the power of immortality. 

You did everything you could to help but you were just a kid…your heart racing trying to find the one person who you thought could protect you…your kitten. Of course, he would rather be at a stupid bar than wear the stupid yellow spandex. When he came stumbling back where he found you covered in ash crying. Sadness turned into spite, how could he leave you? He promised to keep you safe! 

You couldn’t stand the sight of him…so you ran. That was the last time you saw Logan..or so you thought.

You tried to use your powers to conjure your friend's spirits but you couldn’t.

Years passed, and you lived a normal life. Until some weirdo with outdated references wearing a red spandex suit was in your apartment building lobby. He cut you off at the stairs spreading both his arms out so you couldn’t walk around him “Well hello pookie” The weirdo welcomed you as you glared at him “Do I know you?” You muttered, reaching into your messenger bag to grab something that could be used as a weapon. You were in no mood for what this ass has to say. The weirdo stood more relaxed “I’m Deadpool aka Marvel Jesus” the Spandex introduced, you raised an eyebrow “What? Marvel Jesus? What the fuck?” you wondered making Deadpool gasp at you “Oh just spit in my face! Did my peanut teach you that?! You’re too young to be speaking like a drunken sailor” Deadpool declared, clenching his nonexistent pearls. You wondered why he acted like you knew his peanut? If his friends were half as annoying as him then you doubt that you knew them.

Deadpool booped your nose making you swat his hand “My, my aren’t you a violent child” Deadpool teased, if he kept doing this Applebee's comedy night routine you were gonna need a joint. You dug through your bag, grabbed a joint from the container you kept, and lit the one in your hand. “I need your help saving the multiverse from this asshole named Paradox which is the stupidest name ever!” Deadpool announced, and you raised an eyebrow “The multiverse?” You repeated in disbelief that what this man was saying was true. You blew a cloud of smoke into Deadpool’s masked face, “as much as I would like to inhale secondhand smoke” the comedic took the joint out of your hand “I’m gonna need you to be sharp” Deadpool explained pressing the lit part of the joint on the no smoking sign. You crossed your arms “to save the multiverse?” You laughed, at this point you were expecting that you were on a prank channel.

Deadpool's whole demeanor changed “The point cupcake, is that everyone I care about will die if we don’t stop that asshole Paradox.” Deadpool was serious, there was no funny tone in it. You released a heavy sigh, ever since the fire you were done with all that heroic shit “Why me?” You wondered, he could have picked an actual crime fighter “Why you?! You’re Y/N! You were a part of Baldilock's merry band” Deadpool reminded you. The memories of when you were an X-men in training that you tried so hard to forget came rushing back, you tilt your head your eyes threw daggers at the dickhead in front of you who the fuck did he think he was making a joke about your friends.

You scoffed “it’s Deadpool, right?” You asked clenching your fists, the jackass got all giddy “Oh my god! Y/N remembers my name!” The mercenary exclaimed as if he was meeting Hugh Jackman. You grabbed him by his chest and pulled him towards you till you were inches apart “Get out of my way or I’m going to ram your head through a damn wall” you threatened beneath your breath.

Deadpool didn’t look intimidated, he looked over his shoulder “I can see why you like her, Peanut!” Deadpool yelled as if that was a queue. You heard footsteps coming down the stairs, you released the mercenary from your grip “You can thank Marvel H. Christ later” Deadpool patted you on the back before standing in front of the door that leads into the streets. Your heart sank into your stomach, Did this guy want you so badly that he brought someone with him to rough you up?!

The backup descended the stairs, and when his face came into view you froze, Your eyes glossed no, not him…anyone but him. You hoped this was just a nightmare, you kept pinching yourself hoping you would wake up in your apartment…but nothing happened, he was here.

 Logan gave you a warm smile “Hi, bub” he took a small step towards you, but you took a step back “Don’t!...don’t call me that!” your voice muttered, why would he think that it would be okay for him to call you that?! “Bu-kid, we need your help” Logan begged in a hushed tone like you were going to agree because the alcoholic asked nicely. You started to laugh “You…think…I’ll go…anywhere… with you?” You asked in between, you had to hold your stomach because you were laughing so hard. Deadpool took a step towards you two “Hi, sorry to interrupt but I’m kinda on a time crunch so can we-“ “Shut the fuck up!” You and Logan yelled in unison, Deadpool stepped back.

You looked back at Logan ”Y/N I’m so sorry” Logan apologized, you glared at him “That’s it?! That’s all you can say?! You went to get fucked up instead of being there…and all you can say is your sorry?!” You scoffed; it was like putting a band-aid over a bullet wound. It does nothing. You felt all the old feelings you tried to suppress seep through “I know and I’ll hate myself for that for my entire life” Logan admitted, you shook your head pinching the bridge of your nose to contain your emotions, trying not to cause a scene that would get the neighbors attention, “I can’t do this” you mumbled re-adjusting your messenger bag on your shoulder. 

Your eyes glossed as you tried to make it to the stairs but Logan blocked your path “Logan, please just step to the side. I don’t want to do this” Your voice cracked

“I can’t do that, Y/N”

“Just please move”

“I can’t kid” 

“Please move Logan”

“Bub, Please!”

“GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY!”

Tears started to run down your cheeks your fist pounded against Logan's chest “Move” you weakly repeated, he didn’t budge or fight back. You felt as powerless as you did the night of the fire. You felt like you were one big joke to the universe.

 Logan tried to wrap his arms around you but you pushed yourself away from him, “Y/N” Logan called, you didn’t let him say more of his half-ass apology “Why weren’t you there?” you wondered crossing your arms over your chest, you remembered that he went to the bar but you wanted him to admit it. The man in front of you never answered, your eyes glossed “Why weren’t you there?! I needed you and you weren’t fucking there! You promised me that you would protect me! I trusted you! I looked up to you! You were my hero!” You admitted wrapping your arms around yourself as tears ran down your cheeks once again. Logan looked like he was on the verge of tears himself “I’m sorry, I’m here now” Logan promised, You shook your head “I don’t need you now! I needed you back then! Where were you…when I needed you?” You stated you noticed some people were opening their doors. 

Your eyes met Logan “I hate you” you sniffled, and Logan's lip quivered “I wish you would kill yourself, you would be doing me and everyone else in this world a fucking favor” Your tone was emotionless, Logan was taken back even Deadpool was speechless. You were emotionally drained, this time you successfully pushed past Logan and ran upstairs to your apartment.

You slammed the door Bang! You threw your bag on the ground and jumped into your bed shoving your face into your pillow to muffle your cries. You hate him. You hated that you trusted him. You wished you never met him. 

Back in the Lobby

Logan kept staring at the stairs silently hoping that you were going to come back down, hoping that you had a change of heart and the two of you could start over, a single tear escaped down his cheek. 

Wade stepped towards the Wolverine, “Why didn’t you tell her that those sons of bitches could fix your shit?” the mercenary wondered, Logan wiped away his tear before looking at that red fucker “They’ve been through so much…I didn’t want to get their hopes up. It’s not like they would believe me anyway” Logan admitted Wade placed his hand over his heart “Aw look whose heart grew three sizes” Wade mocked, making the Wolverine glare at him. Wade internally panicked, he needed Logan since he was an anchor beam and it’s not like this Logan could start fresh with the Y/N from his universe since they're dead. Meaning that Wade had to come up with something and fast.

Wade groaned making Wolverine snap his head toward him “This is the worst episode of Dr.Phil ever!” Wade whined. Wade grabbed Logan “You stay here and I’ll go talk to your precious Y/N who left like they were about to cut their hair, okay Peanut” Wade explained, surprisingly Logan agreed. Wade skipped towards the stairs. Wade saw some neighbors snooping “Yes children it’s Moi. Nothing to see here” Wade assured, he was about to introduce the peepers to Baby Knife but the peeping toms got the hint and closed their doors.  

As Wade reached Y/N’s apartment he tried to figure out how to persuade them to join him and his Peanut. He needs them to say yes so he can save his family.

[charles-leclerc-official]

the hilarious thing about the most memorable thing from mclaren this season being papaya rules is that is so mockable! the second oldest team on the grid actually used the words 'papaya rules' in a team radio broadcast to the world. absolutely no self-awareness and their trying to appeal to the fans via fanservice(?) doesn't make them serious contenders for anything. bruce mclaren is rolling in the grave and enzo is somewhere out there laughing so fucking much, i tell you (the british bias bit is also super funny to me bc the mclaren owner isn't some bahraini prince or something?) i'd respect them a bit more if they actually had some balls and were unapologetic about who they are. Ferrari would never.

Ferrari also doesn't need to because people actually are inspired by the team and say incredible things about it all the time. So we have no shortage of iconic quotes to pull from.

There's a reason they don't have anything iconic said about their team. It's pretty obvious why.

Like they want to be that bitch so badly. But that's always been Ferrari.

[lovintohatred]

— close to you

warnings: none pairing: billie eilish x fem!reader a/n: this is my first fic and is super self indulgent so sorry if it's shit 😚 only using sabrina as a fc bc it's easiest for social media but her appearance won't be referenced so imagine y/n however u'd like ☺️ also the user stillcantfindtheavacados is billie's finsta!! lmk if u guys want a pt 2 💞

yourusername

liked by gracieabrams, finneas, taylorswift and others

yourusername what a way to finish out this tour... london u were a dream 💞 thank u for all the memories we've made together on this tour, i love u all sosososo much!!! emails i can't send tour forever 💌💋

view all 7,935 comments

user1 INSANEEEE

user2 ur tour fits are always stunning omg

taylorswift pop princess ☺️🫶🏻

yourusername SHUT UP WHAT TAYLOR I LOVE U SM THANK U 😭😭😭😭😭💓💓💓💓💓

stillcantfindtheavacados prettiest girl ever what the fuck

gracieabrams it was the best getting to see u in london ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

yourusername i love u sm ☹️☹️ so glad u could make it 💘

finneas is this who you're always talking about?? @/billieeilish

this comment has been deleted

finneas such an incredible tour!!

user3 HELP AM I HALLUCINATING OR DID FINNEAS ACTUALLY JUST COMMENT AND TAG BILLIE???? 😭😭

user4 NO I SAW IT TOO ‼️‼️ AND NOT HIM TRYNA ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED BY COMMENTING AGAIN NORMALLY 😭😭😭 user5 PLS TELL ME SOMEONE TOOK A SS user6 CHECK THE BILLIE UPDATE ACCOUNTS IT'S THERE

finny ‼️ - finneas

bils 🤓 - billie

bils 🤓 FINNEAS O'CONNEL WHAT RHE ACRUAL FUCK

I'M GOIGN TO KILL U

UR SUCH AN IDOIT OH MY GODDDD

WHY DID U COMMENT UNDER HER POST?????? AND TAG ME??????

this is so embarrassing i hate u

finny ‼️ BILS I'M SORRY I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

I FORGOT I WAS ON MY MAIN AND NOT MY SPAM

it's fine though i deleted the comment!!

bils 🤓 YEAH BUT PPL TOOK A SS AND NOW IT'S EVERYWHERE U DUMBASS

finny ‼️ oh

bils 🤓 she probably thinks i'm such a weirdo ughhh

this is all ur fault

finny ‼️ I SAID I WAS SORRY

bils 🤓 WELL UR NOT FORGIVEN

finny ‼️ 😐

at least now u have an opportunity to dm her 😁

bils 🤓 shut up

liv 😚 - olivia rodrigo

y/n 😋 - y/n

y/n 😋 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDD

LIV I'M ACTUAKLY HAVIGN A HEART ATTACK WHERE ARE U

FINNEAS COMMENTED ON MY INSTA POSR

BILLIE EILISH TALKS ABOUT ME

ALWAYS

I'M GONNA PASS OUT

LIV WHERE ARE YOU I'M GOINF INSANE

liv 😚 I'M HERE I'M HERE

I KNOWWW MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I SAW THE COMMENT

help him deleting the first comment and commenting again is so funny 😭

y/n 😋 FR

LIKE THEY'VE BOTG LIKED MY POSTS BEFIRE BUT RHIS IS SOOOO DIFFERENT

LIKE BILLIE TSLKS ABOUT ME

A LOT APPARENTLY

LIKE???????????????

liv 😚 u guys are so alike ur both obsessed with each other!

match made in heaven fr 😍

y/n 😋 ...olivia rodrigo pls be serious for a second bc rhis is CRAZY

like BILLIE EILISH knows who i am

oh fuck wait

what if she knows i'm obsessed with her???????

do u think she knows??? is it obvious???

it is isn't it 😭😭😭😭 she def knows doesn't she

SHITSHITSHIT SHE KNOWSSS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i'm gonna die omg

liv 😚 Y/N STOP

BREATHE

it's not obvious don't worry she doesn't know so u can relax and stop stressing

y/n 😋 okay ur right sorry i panicked and went a bit insane for a sec

liv 😚 a bit?

y/n 😋 ...okay a lot 😣

liv 😚 yeah ❤️

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Not beating the allegations.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[tzarrz]

to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u

[chaika-jpeg-shitpost]

Joseph, just like Chika, had someone weak and helpless in his care. However, when the threat of death from starvation drove him into a corner, he refused to abandon the one he promised to protect. Unlike Chika

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

im really just. obsessed with the idea of ted and beard's pre-series early friendship. like. from the immediate aftermath of their little les mis tale (how ted might have felt upon realizing what happened, how beard felt when ted showed up and lied for him anyway, what happened literally immediately afterwards, when they were finally alone--does beard confront him, demand in that sort of trying-to-sound-angry-but-it's-just-cracked-and-distressed-and-disbelieving raised high pitched voice why did you do that? i did it, i stole from you, or does he just. sit there, in silence with him, and then quietly apologize? or is it ted that breaks the silence?) to like. beard sticking with him and continuing to get to know him deciding he's giving this man his loyalty forever, and then beard getting to know him properly, seeing the less-than-perfect sides of him, seeing him get irritated or angry or maudlin, helping him when he's at his lowest, too, and while beard still feels deep down like he owes ted--ted, who gave him a chance and gave him love when he had no one and nothing--he now knows him as a full and multi-faceted person, they've helped each other in equal measure and love each other in equal measure and know each other in equal measure. beard willingly opens up and shares--even with his mysteriousness--and ted, too, actually lets himself be at least somewhat vulnerable, moreso than he had with anyone else. beard doesn't think ted's "too much", ted doesn't find beard's beardness offputting. it's not perfect--ted still has a hell of a lot of repression and problems of his own (although beard is no longer blind to them) and beard has issues, too; they don't share everything or have a perfect friendship, but god is it a strong one. and by the time we meet them, they're so in sync and they support each other and know each other better than anyone else.

[drowning-moonlight]

A Little Rant About the Fathers of the ASL Brothers

people in this fandom are so mean about Roger and Dragon being "dead-beat" dads and I don't get it.

like I think it's pretty obvious that Dragon couldn't raise Luffy because he would have been in danger being around the World's Worst Criminal and all. and okay leaving him with Garp wasn't a great idea but saying Dragon is a dead-beat is kind of harsh in my opinion?? my point is that there's definitely a REASON why Dragon didn't stay with Luffy. do we know the whole reason and is it even a good reason? that remains to be seen but still. I see people say he needs a "redemption" from being a bad father and I'm like... no he doesn't

and what baffles me even more is people saying Roger was a dead-beat. like! the man died! "oh he abandoned Ace to a life of suffering" y'all say about a guy who died before Ace was even born. the man gets murdered while his wife is pregnant and everyone goes on about how he's a dead-beat dad. and I know he turned himself in to the Marines so he basically did cause his own death but he was dying from an illness anyway. I don't think he was ever going to live long enough to raise Ace, I think he still would have died soon from his illness even if he didn't turn himself in. and again, leaving him with Garp wasn't a great idea but I don't think Roger really had a choice and I don't think that makes him a "dead-beat"

Fuck Outlook III though he sucks and I can’t defend him

[incorrect-web-novels]

Not to fan the discourse flames, especially since this is mainly a web novel occurrence, but certain people who hate Jiang Cheng purely on moral grounds are really strange to me when you consider what Wei Wuxian did to Wen Chao. "He (allegedly) killed innocent demonic cultivators." "He's ungrateful." "He's homophobic." "He's manipulative and abusive." Okay, but, like, Wen Chao literally ate parts of himself out of madness. Wang Lingjiao bit his penis off. Like or dislike any character you want without apology, but we're well past morality policing rn tbh. It's okay if they're a little fucked up

[oceanwithinsblog]

only two episodes have come out but i already love this show more than i could've ever imagined HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE ?!?!?!

[vimbry]

they might be giants are excellent with contemporary or experimental sounds, but they also crush every singalong/traditional pop/old standard cover or stylistically-influenced duet they make.

[blakbonnet]

Really? You wanted an episode where Ed and Stede were shoved together by the others instead of coming together by themselves?

The entire show is based around the plotline of them wanting to "come together" so much that one of them signed their life away to the British and the other basically went human shrug emoji at being told that the original plan was to burn their face off. And that was after weeks of having just met each other - so I don't get the "shoved together by others" angle.

It is a romcom tho and after the super heavy first couple of episodes, it would have worked so wonderfully to see the crew betting on their captains' love lives and trying to get them to hook up just so this sexual tension would end and I can't even imagine the hilarity. Wee John taking Stede through his entire stash of beautiful fabrics - and Stede picking the most aquamarine and glitteriest of them all? Yeah, it would have been gorgeous 😭

See, me personally - I love the writing of the show s1 + 2 and I know they'd have done something amazing with it that would've been a very natural conclusion to their 2 seasons of sexual tension - which is what it's been lmao - and I really don't see it as the "being forced together" trope that a lot of people have convinced themselves it would've been.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

At this point I'm convinced tumblr has entirely abandoned the idea of words meaning things so we're going to play a game.

[rotisseries]

i have GOT to stop going and checking out the notes on... that one post.... but it's CRAZY to me that people keep reblogging it very seriously being like "HOW CAN PEOPLE LIKE HENRY HE MURDERED 20 CHILDREN"

you mean the fictional child murder?? you mean the fake fictional child murder?? you mean the fake fictional telekinetic sci fi child murder by fake fictional telekinetic sci fi murder man on fake fictional telekinetic sci fi horror netflix show stranger things??? YOU MEAN THAT FAKE MURDER???

no you're so right there's never once been a history of fandoms liking a guy even if he did a bit of fake fictional murder what an insane concept

[maddy-ferguson]

using intersectionality to discredit feminism and downplay its reach and essentially weaponizing it when it was coined to describe black women's experience of racism and sexism is nasty work...

[raymoo--hackery]

unstoppable intimidating loyal bodyguard experiences a hangover for the first time ever and she is Not having fun.