#also trying to think of a cute farmer…..for Sebastian

[waspgrave]

I’m modding stardew valley and I feel like there has to be a less tedious way to do texture replacers, but I haven’t found it yet so I’m just taking a break like this is hard work

[babiebom]

Heyyy! I was wondering if u could do the bachelors & bachelorettes reactin to / dating an s/o who has really intense nose bleeds when they're stressed. But plot twist bc this is literally the norm for the farmer bc they have crippling anxiety, especially social.

Thank u sm!!

A/N: I don’t know why I thought this was funny??? My anxiety just makes my stomach upset but a nosebleed in front of everyone like some sort of anxious demon is funny. Not the clean up tho. I’ve never had a nosebleed but I know they bleed SO MUCH. Also no problemo!!! Always glad to get requests!! I did different things (so not just stressed because I would’ve written the same thing for anyone I made crush aspects as sort of for stress too lmao) for each hopefully they’re good enough!

Tw: cursing, blood, anxiety, the nose bleeds are VERY dramatic because it’s fiction lmao. Physical fights(in Leah’s part), arguments(in almost all of them). Pierre hate Pam hate(kinda) Demetrius hate Morris hate. And Kel is gender neutral! let me know if there’s anything else to tag!

Wc: idk lmao hopefully at least 100 words for each

Stardew Masterlist

Sebastian:

Just frowns

Actually helps unexpectedly

….we can never talk about this happening again if you want……

It’s not often that you get to see the towns resident emo, even after visiting Robin multiple times for various building needs. So when you wander into the house, looking for Robin so you can upgrade your coop, seeing him makes your brain malfunction.

“Oh…hey farmer.” He greets, moving past you to head further into the house. You blink for a second before returning the greeting, watching as his dark hoodie disappears behind a wall.

You try to force your breathing to slow down. There is absolutely NO reason you should be this worked up over a literal one second conversation. While you sit with your thoughts, foot steps fill your ears and the sight of Sebastian returning from wherever he went makes all of your progress regress. “So…you here waiting for my mom?”

You nod quickly, clearing your throat, “yeah…um…just need to upgrade my chicken coop.”

“Oh well, she’s not in today. She usually goes to Pierre’s store to work out with the other moms.”

You frown to yourself, how did you miss that she wouldn’t be in today? Damn now all you can think about is how you just made a fool of yourself. Lost in your thoughts, you miss that Sebastian had cleared his throat a couple times until he waves a hand in front of your face.

“If you want, I can take your order and tell her when she gets home later. That way she can get started tomorrow.”

“Would you?” Your heart flips as you perk up. Was he usually this nice? You kinda heard from Robin herself that Sebastian never really interacted with people he wasn’t already friends with.

“Yeah sure.” He shrugs and moves to go around the counter, setting his slowly cooling food down. “Okay so she usually charges 10,000g and you have to have 400 logs of wood and 150 things of stone. Sound right?”

You nod and hand over the bag of money. The second your hands touch it’s like your body decided it couldn’t handle anything else from him. Luckily he just takes the money and pretends like your nose hasn’t become a geyser as you scramble to try to keep the blood from dripping all over their furniture.

Sam:

WOAH DUDE IS THAT LIKE….NORMAL?

it’s like from a movie or something

Is overall sorta scared but at the same time thinks it’s cool

“And this is how I do a kick flip!” Sam shows you skateboard trick after trick and honestly you can’t get enough of it. It wasn’t a secret that the both of you had crushes on each other, and even now it was very obvious by how you were watching him do his tricks that you had feelings for him. Yet still you two weren’t in a relationship, just sort of friends who like each other in a romantic sort of way.

“You’re so cool!” You clap as he lands another trick.

“And you’re cute!”

“What?”

You freeze in your spot and watch in confusion as he sort of freezes midway through his next trick and crashes to the ground. His words echo in your head, making your face heat up and your heart soar. He smacks his face on the ground, sending you into a panic because now all you can think about is how he thinks you’re cute, and now how he probably has a concussion from hitting his face directly onto the concrete.

When he lifts his face off the ground, you’re kneeling next to him, trying to check on him. His forehead is bleeding, his nose is bleeding, and so is his mouth. You shriek and try to go through your backpack to see if you have anything to help him. You didn’t.

You already know where this is leading, and you let out a groan of annoyance right before your nose starts leaking just like his. His eyes widen and he lets out a loud laugh. Maybe you two can move out of the weird friendship you have after all.

Shane:

Would just stare silently

Like no comments no nothing

Doesn’t even act like it’s happening

Having a part time job at Joja Mart during the winter is one of the absolute worst ideas that you’ve had in a while. But you didn’t make a lot during your first year of farming. Stacking the products onto the shelves, your only saving Grace is the fact that you’re allowed to have earphones in. Except for the fact that Pam is now standing next to you asking loudly about where something is. Shane is stacking the shelves behind you.

“I don’t know Pam…the alcohol is probably on the wall in the back.” You frown at her. She obviously knows that you don’t know this store that well, you were a FARMER that NEVER shopped here before. She rasps out another question and it takes everything in you to not snap at her. Trying to calm yourself of course there’s gonna be something else that makes you lose your mind. That something is Morris, coming over and being the absolute WORST and in turn making Pam LOUDER and more insistent.

He’s lecturing you, Pam is agreeing with him way too loudly, the music on your headphones is now overwhelming instead of calming, and the sound of random things in the market is making you want to bite a chunk out of the loaves of bread in front of you, plastic and all. With everything building up inside of you, you already know what’s going to happen. It always happens, but instead of excusing yourself you stand there, staring Morris down as the blood begins to flow from your nostrils.

Pam yells out curses and Morris begins to stutter, but behind them Shane just stares for a second before continuing to work. When you’re finally left alone with him in the aisle as your two stressors hastily take their leave, all he does is let out a dry chuckle.

“Sam has a hell of a mess to clean up…”

Alex:

Oh DUDE your nose is like….LEAKING

Doesn’t help

Just watched and comments

“AND THEN HE HAS THE NERVE TO TELL PEOPLE THAT MY HARVESTS ARE HIS BUT HE ONLY DOES IT IF ITS GOOD!” You rant to the brown haired boy, pacing back and forth in his room. Thankfully both Evelyn and George were out so you weren’t bothering anyone except for the man in front of you.

You huff and puff as he watches, slightly amused slightly concerned. Alex wasn’t the best person to go to when you’re upset unless it was something absolutely devastating. So being in front of him now, complains about your farming woes meant that he was only half ass taking it seriously. “You should go and speak your mind.” He says.

Turns out you should NOT take advice from Alex. Standing in Pierre’s shop, you’re staring him down angrily, anxiety creeping up your throat from you trying to will yourself to call him out on his bullshit. The older man just kind of stares at you in confusion because all you had done was shout his name angrily as you entered the shop then stand in front of him seething.

“You….you…..” you point a finger at him. This was the moment, the moment you stand up for yourself and tell Pierre how HORRIBLE he is!

But of course things don’t work how you want and your nose gushes out blood all over the counter before you can work yourself up to the point of accusations. With a gasp you run out of the shop, hoping that he would keep his mouth shut with Alex running behind you laughing. Again, NEVER let Alex talk you into anything.

Elliott:

Panics

How do I help PLS LET ME HELP

Everything probably gets messy

Fishing had never been your favorite pastime, but now trying to fix up the community center you had to. Unfortunately Willy was gone and couldn’t properly teach you even though he had gifted you an old rod of his, so the next best thing is getting your boyfriend to teach you since he does fish often. Now you stand on the docks, waiting for a fish to bite the hook.

“Keep calm, the fish can feel your fear and it makes them upset.” Elliott spoke. In all honesty you didn’t even know if that was true or not, but you take in a breath to calm down. You did not want to be here all day you had cows to pet.

The second your line begins to pull you try to pull the fish in. And you succeed until it comes time to unhook the eel you managed to catch. The eel is slimy and slippery and all around not a good thing to try to grip. A shriek leaves your lips and the eel struggles, Elliott tries to help you but is also struggling to catch hold of it. And now your nose is bleeding adding another layer to the already hellish experience.

You’re unhappy, the eel is unhappy, and Elliott is unhappy. After what seems like an hour, the stupid thing slips out of your grips and back into the ocean, washing your nose blood off of it and splashing you with saltwater. 0 out of 10 you will not be trying again.

Harvey:

Calm but concerned(after panicking for a second)

Has a doctory approach to it

But is secretly like WTF inside

Your heart thumps in your chest as you sit on the clinic bed. It’s been a while since you’ve been in Harvey’s clinic, having taken a break from the mines, and somehow this seems more shameful than having been beaten almost to death by living slime. Your hands bleed into the cloth you have pressed into it. One of the pigs knocked you over into the broken fence you were in the middle of fixing. Now you sit waiting for the good looking Doctor.

When he walks in he’s all smiles, tapping his clipboard with his pen. “While I’m sad to see that you’re injured, I’m glad to see it isn’t from those mines again.” The eye contact he makes with you makes your heart twist for a second.

He starts speaking of all the shots you need and the antibiotics you need to take, rust poisoning is quite serious you know. “Now,” he says, moving towards you, “let me see your hand.”

Your heart thumps erratically at the close proximity of him and you. You only really ever got to see him this close when you were half dead and barely conscious. His face is much too close for you to be able to do anything but focus on how pretty his eyes are, and how fluffy his mustache is, and how…

“OH MY DEAR YOBA” He yelps and jumps away from you. It takes only a second after him to realize what’s going on, and now your furiously wiping away at your nose with your hands instead of with the cloth, and he’s trying to get something on your nose to catch the blood. It’s a disaster, really. But at least you’re already in a clinic!

Penny:

Probably panics

Doesn’t know how to deal with it

Would try to help though

The warmth of the pool in the spa did nothing to ease your nerves as you waded in the shallow end of the pool. Penny had invited you to come sometime after 7 pm, and when you had arrived she was already waiting for you, kicking her feet in the pool. The thought of her asking you here made your stomach turn, did you do something wrong…? Was she inviting you here to tell you she hated you or something…? You had grown close to her over your time here and would hate it if she thought you were too much or something.

“Do you know why I invited you here?” She asks, moving closer but keeping her eyes on the water.

You shake your head, “I’m not exactly sure, no.”

She frowns and sighs at you, meeting your eyes for a fleeting second then looking elsewhere. “Really? I thought you would’ve noticed by now…” her words trail off and her eyebrows furrow.

The next few seconds are ones that you simultaneously want to remember for forever and forget. She confesses her feelings for you. Feelings that you obviously reciprocate, and the emotions in you mix and grow, rising up your throat as if you were a volcano of conflicting feelings. As soon as you open your mouth to tell her that yes, you like her too, her face morphs into one that’s horrified instead of hopeful, disgusted instead of smitten and you realize a second after she does that your nose is spouting red, dyeing the water you both were swimming in.

Penny shrieks for a solid second before trying to scramble out of the water as fast as she can. You do the same, swirling the red around the pool as both of you splash trying to exit the now crime scene looking pool. When you get out of the water, she’s holding a towel right in your face, smooshing it so hard you can barely breathe and now your nose is throbbing with slight pain. “What do we do?!” She asks moving about quickly. She’s so confused that she just keeps walking and turning as if she’s remembering and forgetting things at the same time.

You just tilt your head downward and cringe inwardly, this was not the way to get a girl to like you. “It’s fine…I’m fine,” you say voice nasally and muffled. “And I like you too by the way.”

Haley:

confused staring

wtf is happening

Actually speechless

It isn’t every day that you get to talk to a beautiful blonde. It isn’t even every day that you talk to anyone. So when she approaches you on one of your trips off of your farm you couldn’t help but feel like either everything is out to get you or that you’re up on your luck. You don’t really know for sure, it honestly depends on how things go.

“Hey farmer!” She smiles as soon as she stops in front of you, the feeling of your stomach twisting makes you want to vomit in all of your nervousness. “I have a favor to ask you…”

“Yeah?” You ask trying to keep your cool. “What is it?”

“I would totally love love LOVE you forever if you could bring me an amethyst? It’s for Emily’s birthday and I don’t really like Clint so I don’t wanna buy anything from him. I’m willing to pay 150g!”

You cough into your fist, nodding along and taken aback by how casually she’s speaking to you. Before you can accept doing her the favor, the horrified look on your face makes your words falter.

She looks absolutely horrified, and touching your hand to your face you can feel why. Your nose started dripping blood, and by dripping you mean you can now feel it running down to your chin. A flurry of curses leave your mouth as confused noises leave hers. It's not much of a surprise that this has happened, but man did you wish it wasn't in front of her.

Emily:

Surprisingly chill about it

Probably has a weird story about a nosebleed or something

Actually helps

You sit at the bar alone, upset at a horrible farming day. You tried your best, you really did, but those stupid ass crows actually ate ALL of your seedlings. Or…almost all of them but that’s basically the same thing! There is no way you’re gonna make enough to make it through winter comfortably. You told Emily exactly this, appreciative of her listening ear in the middle of her busy shift.

“You know they probably didn’t mean it…or maybe they did,” she sucks in a breath eyebrows furrowing as she thinks, “you know crows are very smart they probably know that you’re using that land to farm and stay there because of all the free food.”

“But it’s not free!” You exclaim, throwing your hands up in annoyance, “I have to buy those seeds! They’re just putting me into debt!”

She hums and nods, wiping the bar next to you where a person had just left. You had only a couple months left until the snow started falling and making it virtually impossible to grow anything. The little plants you had left you had to fight the crows for. And by fight I mean you angrily swung a broom at the with the intent of scaring them (not hitting them that’s mean). Still the growing anger inside you was not easily crushed by her warm and quite frankly outlandish words. No, in fact your anger grew the more you thought about it.

You felt it coming before anything had even exited your nose, hurriedly snatching the rag from Emily’s hands. Damn now you would have to buy the bar a new one. She just blinks then nods as if your nose becoming a bloody waterfall was normal.

“You know…nose bleeds cause by stress is usually because your heart rate and blood pressure increase and it causes your blood vessels to dilate!”

You stare at her before laughing. Maybe she was helpful after all.

Abigail:

WOAH

WTF

WHAT DO WE DO?

You stand in front of Pierre in front of the shop, arms crossed as you watch his face grow redder the longer time goes on. “-IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAUGHTER?” You’re not really listening to his tirade, over the whole ‘protective dad’ thing.

“Dad I’m an adult! You have no say in who I date!” Abigail yells back, face equally red. Who would’ve known that he would have a problem with the farmer he rips off constantly dating his daughter?

He yells out more reasons that the two of you shouldn’t be dating, and in turn points a finger into your chest roughly. You sputter out an offended sound, moving away from him. “Don’t touch me!”

“You shouldn’t be touching my daughter!”

“What? Dude we just started dating, you’re weird as hell!”

The arguing only gets worse from there, accusations flying around and now an audience comes with the drama. It’s almost too much for you to handle with now Caroline, Harvey, Haley, and the Milner family standing and watching the chaos. “Abby let’s just go to my place…” you try suddenly feeling the need to escape and no longer feeling the ‘fuck you dude’ attitude.

“No! He needs to understand that he can’t control my life!”

It’s like a volcano in your body and just like a volcano your nose begins to erupt. Now you’re screaming, Abigail is screaming, Pierre is screaming, the Mullners are screaming. Could this get any worse?

Turns out yeah, it can get any worse, like a family fight worse and now all of you are sitting in Harvey’s clinic. At least you aren’t the only bloody one now.

Maru:

Is surprised

Also forgets what to do

Would probably make things worse

Maru talks about robots and space the way you would talk about her: totally and completely enamored. You sit on her bed listening to her talk about her newest invention, some sort of robot that can cook and clean and basically be a free maid. You laugh and move your arm to get in a more comfortable position to watch her. Unfortunately your arm had other plans and smacked hard into her bed post. Groaning out in pain, your eyes close and begin to water from how much your elbow hurt.

Demetrius is in your face before you even realize that he was in the room. You yelp out in surprise as he starts ranting about you ruining his daughter’s future. You blink in surprise and try to retreat back into the mattress. What was happening. You can hear Maru screaming over his words but your ears feel like they’re filled with water.

“We’re just friends!” You find yourself shouting. Like damn is the man insane? It wasn’t the first time he’s gotten upset at you over Maru, but it was the first time that he was absolutely losing his mind.

“Dad stop!”

Time froze for a second as you and Demetrius stared at each other, Maru standing near him. Breathing in you can taste blood in your mouth before your nose starts bleeding, yet you can’t bring yourself to do anything but sit and catch your breath.

“Oh my god!” Both Demetrius and Maru exclaim moving around the room trying to find something to help. You couldn’t help but feel annoyed at him acting concerned now.

Thankfully Maru looked cute trying to help you which at least made things a little better.

Leah:

Is also freaking out on the inside but calm on the outside

Helps you with tissues

Is understanding

Going on a date with Leah is a dream come true. There’s paint, wine, food, and you’re sitting in the prettiest meadow you’ve ever seen, well it’s pretty because Leah is there and she’s pretty and you’ve been here multiple times because it’s near her cottage but it still looks different today.

You sit, paintbrush in hand, laughing at something she’s saying. It’s fun and if she hadn’t have asked you would’ve spent the day farming like usual, this little break was needed. The day couldn’t be ruined, absolutely nothing can ruin it.

Okay, one thing can ruin it and that one thing is Kel coming and ruining everything. The argument that ensues is one of the worst that you’ve seen. Kel tries to walk up on you(translation: Kel wants to fight you), Leah stops them but in turn gets into a fight with them which causes you to actually get up and try to defend her.

You kinda block out until you can hear Kel call out “I made your nose bleed bitch!” Which again causes you to want to drown in your anger.

“My noses is bleeding because I’m stressed, stupid!” You back. It’s obvious Kel hadn’t been able to hit your nose so claiming to be able to hit you so hard your nose bleeds isn’t even possible. It’s almost childish how the two of you argue.

Leah finally gets Kel to leave and hands you a bunch of tissues as she sits you down on the now rumpled blanket. As the two of you catch your breath and calm down, you find yourself smiling at her behind the wad of tissues catching blood flowing from your nose.

At least the situation would be funny in the future.

[stardew-shitposterino]

Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they deal with their secret crush on the farmer

———-——————————

BEHOOOOLD! I’m kind of back but I’m not because I have a job and feel tired most of the time. I still need to get used to adult life. Anyway, here are the bachelors and how they deal with having a fat crush on you, you cutesy farmer person covered in filth!

Contents might be a bit NSFW so MINORS…you know what not to do *fights them off with a stick*

Enjoy my brainrot 🍓🥰

Sam:

-Sammy is a cute little guy, almost like a dog wagging it’s tail when they see their owner.

-he is SO BAD at hiding it

-he will dream about you two jamming on a big stage together. In his ideal world, you two are a successful duo who make noise rock (kind of like the white stripes minus the weird siblings or married controversy)

-Sam will write songs about you. It’s not intentional per say, and he thinks he really sucks at writing love songs, but it just happens whenever he has to think about you. The words just start flowing.

-he might or might not have had some steamy shower fantasies about you…while in the shower. Jodie keeps complaining about the water bill being unusually high 👀

-yet, Sam is usually not too horny when he is in love with you. He is more gushy and daydreamy than anything

Sebastian:

-homeboy works with nightcore versions of love songs to cope with his longing

-he isn’t the type to show his feelings so openly, so no one really notices his crush on you. Maybe Sam, but well, he is Seb’s best bud. Of course he can tell

-He notices how his sleep has improved since having a crush on you. He willingly goes to bed earlier to have some time to imagine scenarios of you two

-just you and him together on his cool ass motorcycle, driving into the night and ending it with a passionate kiss (sounds familiar?)

-well,,, let’s just say Seb is increasingly horny since having a crush on you. Before, he was almost certain he is some sort of asexual, but nope 😃 he’s healthy and extremely down bad for the filthy farmer who eats raw fish out of the pond 🥰

-what I mean by horny? Uhhh… he didn’t really need to rely on certain websites to satisfy his needs, that’s for sure 👀

Harvey:

-Harvey is a good man. A very good man

-god bless his soul 😫

-Harv isn’t the type to have crushes easily…I can’t believe it either, considering his crush on Maru who is way younger than him 💀

-but in my head, he isn’t the type to be all lovey dovey over someone. That’s why he’s so bad at hiding it. But you don’t really notice. You just suspect it but it could also be his usual anxiety lol

-it happened anyway😎 and he doesn’t know how to cope. At all.

-he has to think about you at all times, especially when he looks at the empty jars of delicious pickles you’ve made him

-This man is usually collected, but now?! He forgets everything, can’t even form a comprehensible sentence at times when his mind is busy thinking about a romantic picknick date with a lovely farmer

-Harvey’s libido is pretty much a dead beat horse 💀 but now he even feels the desire to do some nasty nasty at times. It’s still pretty tame, he’s a gentleman through and through, but wild for him to have those feelings and longings after what feels like decades. He’s not mad at it. He has felt low-key dead inside for so long so this is very exciting and he’s eager to explore this side of him…despite being anxious 😭

Elliott:

-bet your ass he’s the prince of crushes

-he is very dedicated and welcomes those refreshing feelings with a kiss

-feeling better than usual AND having inspiration to write ?! SIGN HIM UP

-he will use every chance he can get to talk to you, maybe even get you drunk (in a non creepy way) because he likes when you’re unapologetically authentic and let loose. It makes him feel more in touch with your soul (or some shit idk I’m not a poet)

-Elliott is NOT SUBTLE

-you practically know from the start that he has the hots for you, but it’s kinda funny seeing him try to pretend it’s not that way…if you can even call that pretending not to be 😭

- his passion doesn’t end at his artistry. This guy will spend a lot of time in his shower thinking about what could be, or sitting at the docks at night just staring at the sea (he’s NOT doing anything nasty in public, peeps. Don’t get it twisted)

-I can also see him recreate a romantic bedroom date he’d love to have with you…but it’s just him 🤷🏼‍♀️ self care king 👑

Shane:

-like Harvey: HE CANNOT COPE!

-he hasn’t felt like this since high school. Every other encounter with potential partners was surface level and only based on sexual satisfaction

-so caring about you, thinking about what makes you happy and how he could be the reason you smile every day, that’s a lot for him

-as stupid as it sounds, he spirals and becomes low-key miserable over it. Give this man a 101 lesson on how to process emotions 😭

-despite the constant anxiety he feels, he low-key enjoys it. It’s kind of hopeless as well as pointless in his honest opinion, but there is this believe, that 0.00001% chance (in his mind) that he could turn his life around and be happy with you, married and maybe have a child of his own one day

-but that’s wishful thinking, riiiiiiight? So what does a self loathing piece of alcoholic man do instead of making a move? Yeah, self pleasure even more than usual, to get at least a bit of serotonin and the willpower to get his shit together, at least for you if it isn’t for him. He’s pretty rough with it too (ouch, unless you’re into that)

-sorry bros but him having a crush is not really all that cute. He’s my cutie pie, but let’s be real: him dealing with those feelings he tried to shut off for so long will be tragic in a way. He’s battling his inner demons here. So yeah… :(

Alex:

-my man, my maaaaan 🥰

-he has earned a soft spot in my heart, bless his soul

-so Alex has a crush on you from the start, it’s basically canon

-can he show his feelings? Yes! Can he do that in a way that can be read as the feelings he tries to get across to you? NO!

-low-key bullying is his love language 🥰

-at least in the beginning. He’s a bit anxious and fears he isn’t good enough for you, so he doesn’t try to be authentic. Being the jock jerk everyone expects him to be gets a reaction out of you and that’s better than nothing, right?

-he’s neither the poetic nor the intellectual type, so he doesn’t process his emotions by writing them down or putting them into words. Just imagine him going about his work-out routine, just thinking about your beautiful smile and rocking bod while sweating like a hog

-Alex and quiet ? Yes that’s possible. I imagine him to go quieter than usual since having a crush on you. He processes everything internally and that takes a lot of time for him as he usually just shrugs off his emotions and doesn’t try to brood too much on them. But now?! He can’t but blush in silence as he just imagines how soft and small your hands must be next to his (yours are way more impressive than his and calloused to the gods, but let him have this moment)

-when it comes to being nasty…Alex is a serial romantic. We know that he probably was the lady’s man back in school so he probably got some action one way or another. In other words, man has the libido of a teen that just hit puberty 💀

-despite being quite horny, he was able to manage to just do it every other day. Now, he cannot even get out of bed in the morning before doing it as you pester his dreams and make his hormones go crazy first thing in the morning…so many nice boxer shorts were lost along the way 🫡

-he also did his own laundry for the first time during that period lmfao

[phoenixkaptain]

I love Stardew Valley and I love the community and I love how we all bond over pixelated chickens like we’re seventy-year-old women bonding over grandchildren- - -

But I get so annoyed with the character hate, like!!! All the characters are great!! All the romance-able characters are great!! I keep getting recommended videos about the bad parts of characters and I just want to scream!!

Penny: lovely. Charming. Kids are a big part of dating her because she teaches kids, of course she’s going to react a bit badly if you hate children. She is trying to teach kids so that they don’t have to have the same life she and her mother do, why do you hate this woman who is just anxious?

Shane: lovely. Charming. Perfect. “He still drinks after we get married, which ruins the whole story” NO. No. Shane is an alcoholic, and a severe one. If he quit cold-turkey, he would fucking die. “Harvey pumped his stomach” HE WOULD DIE. And I don’t care that my husband is messy, he has his own room and I don’t have to go over there!!

Maru: lovely. Charming. She hates working. She loves working on machines. She thinks about machines to build for you to make life easier. She’s adorable. She has a complicated relationship with her brother and I want to help them fix it goddangit because I love fictional siblings.

Elliott: lovely. Charming. An artist. He only leaves his home for like four hours a day. I can really relate to the desire to shave off all of one’s own hair. I feel that in my bones. Also, is friends with Willy and I fucking love Willy so A++

Leah: “she’s a lesbian” She’s fucking bi stop erasing bi rep in Bi Rep the Video Game

Sam: he’s a musician and a skater. This is what the perfect man looks like.

Emily: just the most charming. She has a complicated relationship with her sister because she takes care of her. She works at a saloon, how can someone not love a literal saloon worker? She’s crazy, she’s wild, she’s a flower child, I’m in love with her

Harvey: glasses. Doctor man. Occasionally puts on headphones to not so subtly hint that he doesn’t want to talk to you. This is what the perfect man looks lik-

Abigail: I don’t see a lot of people complain about Abigal, but I’ve seen a few and it just feels like- you guys love Sebastian so much but don’t like Abigail? What type of double standard is this?

Alex: everyone always says not to date him if your playing a female farmer, but honestly, his dialogue only cuts out parts if you play male. Like, he still says he felt different about you from day one even if you’re playing as a girl. The character affected the most by your gender choice in regards to dating Alex is George, and if you’ve already befriended George, he’ll apologize for being mean about your sexuality when he never even said anything mean about your sexuality, which is kind of funny

I never see people complain about Haley or Sebastian, which is fair, because Haley has a cute character arc and Sebastian loves frogs (this is what the perfect man lo-) My only problem is that people praise these two but rag on everyone else when I feel like all the characters are balanced pretty evenly in terms of good-bad traits.

Which trait is which is dependent on the person playing the game anyway, so when someone like me plays, I can’t help but find the characters perfect because I’m very forgiving when it comes to fictional characters’ undesirable traits. I mean, my favourite trait of all is stupidity, pure and unbridled, I’m talking facepalm-inducing, groan-worthy, the type of character people complain about the most; the type of stupid that makes people stop enjoying things. How can I dislike these characters who are cute and a bit awkward and so ready to bed the first hot farmer they come across even when that farmer sifts through their trash and passes out three steps away from their own house and drinks mayonnaise and would eat hay given half the chance. Like come on. They’re all moron-sexual. I can relate to that.

In conclusion: your favourite bachelor and/or bachelorette is as wonderful as you think they are and screw the people who try to tell you otherwise. The characters are great because they appeal to different people. Enjoy the game and enjoy the dating and I swear to God if I see another person say that certain farm layouts are bad because they don’t make enough money- the game doesn’t have a time limit! You can make as much money as you want! You could sell one sap everyday and nothing else and you would still be able to make it to however much money you desire to have. There’s not really a fast way to make ten billion gold, that doesn’t mean that the farm layouts you don’t like are bad and yes I’m ranting just because I love the slopes of the mining farm its layout is chamrjng and picturesque and provides a unique challenge to decorating and placing buildings and it’s actually the BEST farm layout because I just decided so and-!

Stardew Valley is a great game, 10/10 would recommend, and the new update is already great because I found carrot seeds and I like carrots :)

[stardewstardropthoughts]

Hmmm... How would the bachelors react to F!Farmer going into labor/delivering their baby?

Ah man labour is a time and a half lol I’m gonna write this as like vag birth not c section just because it’ll be a bit easier to write that way, no hate on c sections obvi though, I had one lol. all births are valid! No birth discourse on my page please

Harvey:

He doesn’t like seeing you in pain

When labour first began he was timing the contractions and helping you walk around in-between or gently rocking with you back and forth, whatever you wanted

When they got to three to five minutes apart he’s helping you get to his office, offers you pain relief if you want it

Will have maru there to wipe sweat off your face, grab blankets, whatever you need

When it comes time to push he really wants to hold your hand but he also has to do his job has doctor and catch your child so maru more then likely holds your hand if you want her too

He’s sobbing when your baby’s born, a beautiful 8lb 10 oz baby girl with Harvey’s eyes and your hair colour

Lays her on your chest for skin to skin while you deliver the placenta and all but sobs at what a cute picture the two of you are, even if your hairs all matted down with sweat and your face is red from pushing

Loves his little family

Elliott:

It was probably like 1 in the morning and your water had just broken

You didn’t wanna panic your husband but also your literally in labour right now and there’s fluid all over the floor and your pants

You wake him up and he’s immediately out of the bed gathering the bags and making sure you have everything you need while you change into dry pants and a very thick pad

Man pretty much bangs Harvey’s door down

Harvey expected it though, being your primary care and all, offers you pain meds if you want them

You decide to get the epidural, Elliott almost gags watching since a needle in the spine doesn’t look comfy but god do you enjoy the pain relief

You get to have a few extra hours to nap while he paces nervously until it’s time to push

After about three hours of pushing you have a beautiful baby boy who weighs 7lb 5oz and has Elliott’s hair and eyes and your nose

Elliott could write a whole book on the emotions he’s feeling but he chooses to spend his time snuggling with you and your child

Alex:

Early on you decided you wanted a home birth so y’all have a dedicated room in the house for when it’s go time

Literally your water broke at the worst time, you were out weeding the fields dispite Alex desperately trying to get you to rest when suddenly there was a small gush of fluid going down your legs

Rip your overalls because now it looks like you peed your pants, you waddle your way back to the farmhouse and inform your husband who’s immediately drawing you a nice bath to wash the dirt off and clean up before having the baby

Calls Harvey while you’re in the bath and Harvey rushes over

Your on the bed in the birthing room currently trying to breath through contractions while Alex massages your back

He’s holding your hand while you push, he assured you he won’t be mad if you squeeze to tight or yell at him

After all is said and done you have a beautiful baby girl, weighing 9lbs 7oz (he was a big baby, you cursed at him a little while pushing out your daughter)

Sam:

Panic

Will offer to carry you to Harvey’s office (he will drop you accidentally, so you opt to walk lol)

Asking Harvey a million questions a minute, how many babies has he delivered, how much will it hurt, what do you think the baby’s eye color will be

You opt for pain meds and he passes out watching the epidural get placed

He wakes up a few minutes later to maru putting a cold cloth on his head lol, gets to sit in a chair and hold your hand while you push out the infant

You guys have a beautiful baby boy who weighs 6lbs 7oz, he’s small but he’s perfect and he has your hair and Sams eyes

Sams crying just a little bit while he cuts the umbilical cord, maru rats him out to you

Sebastian:

On the outside he’s very calm and collected while grabbing the baby bag, making sure your comfy for the trip to Harvey’s and making sure everything’s ready

On the inside? His brains screaming at him, panic and worry are a constant through the whole experience

He’s secretly glad maru is there to support him and you both even if it is just with wet cloths and breathing exercises

Harvey offers pain relief, you opt out cause needles in the spine sound absolutely terrifying to you

He’s rubbing your back, holding your hand, brushing your hair back out of your face, praising you for how well your doing

When the infant is born it’s a bit of a shock for you both since you end up with twins! Thank god for being over prepared and bringing like five different sets of clothes for baby

One beautiful baby boy who weighs 6lbs 1oz and one beautiful baby girl who weighs 5lbs 5oz, Sebastian is sobbing fully

Maru is calling robin to tell her to build a second crib lol

Shane:

Was probably half asleep when you woke him up to tell him your water broke and your in labour

Another home birth, you wanted a home water birth so he’s immediately up and filling the birthing pool while you call Harvey and waddle around getting undressed from the bottom down and into the pool of warm water

He will get in with you if you ask him to he doesn’t care how gross it’s gonna get, the only thing on his mind is how he can best support you through this

He’s rubbing your shoulders, your back, asking what he can do for you, if you need a drink or anything

When it comes time to push he’s holding your hand and helping you breath through it

You have a beautiful baby girl who weighs 7lbs 8oz and has Shane’s eyes and your hair

He’s smitten with her immediately and is sobbing over the little family you’ve created with him, he never thought he was worthy of any of this but now he’s here and he has it and it’s amazing to him

dresses her in a little onesie with cartoon chickens all over it, cannot wait to bring her around to meet everyone

[ieatsmallorphansnamedtom]

Can you do the bachelor/ettes with an s/o that is an artist?

-🌙anon

Bachelor/ettes x Artist Farmer

Hi 🌙! Glad to have another emoji anon here! How are things going? Anyways, cute request! Thank you for asking! I think I might have done this before? Maybe. I don't know. Oh well! This mainly focuses on drawing sorry.

Bachelors:

Sam

Sam loves your art! He always looks over your shoulder when he sees you drawing, so you'll definitely have to take it upon yourself to tell him not to do that if it makes you uncomfortable. He's also going to beg you to design an album cover for him and his band.

Elliott

Elliott would also like to use your artistic skills, this time for his newest book. He can't pay you all too much (unless his previous book becomes a bestseller), but he will shout you whatever you want at the saloon whenever you want. He really appreciates your skill, it reminds him of Leah!

Sebastian

I'm pretty sure his job involves making models, so he'd ask you for some references to copy off of. Really likes to admire your work; spends a lot of time just looking through the pages if he can. If you won't let him he'll respect your boundaries, but will still ask every once in a while.

Harvey

He's not really an artist, so he's really amazed at what you can do! He'd ask you to draw his model airplanes for him (if you want to, of course). Despite his lack of drawing/painting skills, he does appreciate good art, and will set aside some money to go to an art show.

Shane

Shane's drawing skills equate to that of a five-year-old's potato head self-portrait. I mean, art is art, so it's not necessarily bad, but he's not getting recognised for it anytime soon. So when he finds out you're and artist, he gets secretly excited and makes note to try and find out what you've made.

Alex

When he was a kid, he'd get the hose and paint a smiley face on the fence with the water, but that's about all he's done. Actually, he did try to impress a girl with his drawing skills once, but she ended up rejecting him, so he stopped. He asks you to teach him how to do some spaghetti sort of art sometime because he looks at you (no matter what art medium you do) and immediately assumes you'd be a master at pasta art. You're welcome, I guess?

Bachelorettes:

Penny

Please tell me you read the same books as her and please tell me you've made art of the characters; she will fall in love. Since she's a teacher (basically), she does have some skills in art related mediums, but nothing beyond what she needs to teach. She likes sketching characters the most, so she sheepishly shows of her work to you and asks for advice.

Leah

Artist duo, baby! Leah loves your art! She's into sculpting and a bit of painting herself, but recognises any art is art and is totally down to do some with you! You have some fun competitions on trying to draw the other worse and worse each time but still have it look like them. That, or you just set up a vase and chill trying to copy it.

Abigail

Abigail's a decent artist. Again, she only really uses pencil or pen on paper, but has dabbled in digital art through the use of an old game console she had as a kid. You two do that competition thing like Leah, except you purposely try to make each other look worse and worse without any semblance of the original subject. Fun times!

Maru

Maru is a great artist, I think. She does a lot of detailed planning for her inventions and puts a lot of effort into the artwork. You know that car show where the guy draws the finished product in coloured pencil before actually making it? Yeah, like that. Except she doesn't use colour. Anyways, she gets what art's all about and can feel with you when you get that art block.

Emily

She can draw clothes, paint abstract art, and make towers out of dry spaghetti sticks. When she finds out you're an artist, she immediately asks to see what you've done. Emily's very much a believer in 'any art is art as long as you put your soul into it', so she'll always say she loves whatever you make. Not the best for constructive criticism, but great for a pick-me-up when you're feeling low.

Haley

Unlike her sister, Haley has no idea what she's doing. I suppose photography is related to other mediums of art, but the most she's done is draw some hearts on some photos and hung them up on the wall. During her mean phase she pretends not to care, but once she comes out of her shell she really takes an interest in it! She tries to copy your art but doesn't do so well.

-~-~-

Hello. Long time no see. I make a second account since I was tired of this one being my main aha. Anyways, I'll be back (hopefully) for a little while now. Bye-bye!

[fivedollarbankrobbery]

Hcs for a Seb x Farmer x Sam polycule? If you can, masc/gn pronouns pls? 👉👈

Seb x m!reader x Sam Headcannons

a/n: i really love the dynamic of this trio, if you ever want more scenarios of them pls ask i would love to write more for them! if anyone ever wants me to do this with fem or gn reader let me know as well!

warnings: none

At first everybody around the village thought your trio was just a little friend group

Just dudes being dudes, yknow?

To be fair, that was all it was at first.

The three of you had been very close, always getting together to play videogames and practice music

After a while though, the two boys confronted you at Sam’s house one day during band practice

“So, we’ve been thinking…”

Honestly at first you thought they were going to kick you out of the band

“Look, I know I’m not the best drummer in the world but-“

It was Sam who broke out the idea, since Sebastian was too shy to get it out

They were both surprised when you quickly agreed

After that the three of you got even closer, going out for drinks a couple times a week and always hanging out

It was actually Abigail who found out about your relationship.

“Seb, where the hell did you put my- oh! Sorry for interrupting… whatever this is. Just, just let me know if you find my DS.”

The three of you had been cuddled up on Sebastian’s bed watching a movie, Sam even starting to fall asleep on Sebastian’s shoulder

You hadn’t been trying to hide the fact that you were dating, it just never really came up

Abigail left Sebastian’s house with so many questions.

On nights when you couldn’t hang out or sleep over at one of your houses, you’d all get on a discord video call and fall asleep together <3

Sebastian is normally the last one asleep, being the night owl he is

He loves falling asleep to the sound of his two boys gently snoring

Gaming nights on call is also a common occurrence

Imagine hopping on Apex and having to fight that trio. it wouldn’t go very well

Sam is the one who always want to go out and do something, often getting bored with just staying in

The three of you always make sure that nobody feels left out, allaying giving extra cuddles and kisses to whoever is feeling a little lonely

Overall it’s a very healthy relationship!

Bonus: Jodi and Robin will sneak cute photos of you guys when you aren’t paying attention

[jlushie]

okay okay okay pls hear me out- sam used to live in zuzu city so it’s completely plausible (though coincidental) for him to have a childhood friend move to the valley. cue the childhood friends to lovers trope🤔🤔would abigail and/or sebastian be upset if he started to hang out with you more than them ?🤔id love to see what ur headcanons would be about a situation similar to that BUT even if u don’t vibe w/this i admire and appreciate how you put time into this silly little community <3

Oh. My… GOD

Anon, you are a genius. Take my money, just take it all- No, have my wallet.

Thank you so much! I can’t remember if he did live in Zuzu city, but this is still glorious nevertheless.

This is such a fun concept! So here, have some headcanons Anon! I haven’t wrote anything in a bit, so I may be a bit rusty ><

I also didn’t really read over this! If there are spelling mistakes, please forgive me! I must study .<.

I hope you enjoy!~

Childhood Friends to Lovers Trope with Sam!

You had met Sam through school after you two had been paired up in a group project together. He was having a hard time with the work that needed to be done, but being the sweet soul that you are, you offered your partner assistance, carefully explaining each problem and the solutions to him in a way that was better than the teachers explanation. You didn’t even get mad when he didn’t understand, instead, you explained it in another way he could understand.

Sam had a little crush on you from that moment on, but didn’t really think it was a crush. At the time, he thought that he just wanted to be your friend!

You two had become close after that; like two peas in a pod. You often went to his house, and never went somewhere without the other by your side.

You two would most defiantly have friendship bracelets

There was a time where the two of you were in his room, excited to try the new instruments he had gotten for his birthday. He suddenly paused and turned to you.

“Y/n, do you think I could be a rockstar one day?”

Of course, you told him you believed in him! You thought he could do anything he set his mind to, and you encouraged his dreams! You told him you’d always be by his side, no matter the outcome.

His face was a bright red as you went on and on about your future together. The twinkle in your eyes and the excitement in your tone made him turn a darker crimson with each declaration.

“Y/n, we should get married one day!”

Cue a young Y/n choking on their words-

You flushed up red. It was such a random thing to say, but Sam couldn’t help himself. If you two had a future together, he wanted that to be the future. Sam was grinning, which only caused you to laugh and agree.

“Then let’s pinky swear, okay?”

You two interlocked your pinkies with such a cute future enveloping your minds.

However, it didn’t last long.

Sam was horrified when Jodi and Kent told him that they were moving. It wasn’t just a small distance away, it was so far away that it’d be hard for you to even visit him. When he told you, he cried. Yes, he cried. You probably cried with him, the two of you worried you’d never see each other again.

You two tried to keep in touch with letters, but Stardew Valley has a horrific mayor that’s been in office for years, so that didn’t really last long.

However, you two kept the friendship bracelets. You didn’t really have a lot of contact with anyone, especially now working at Joja, so it was a nice reminder of how things used to be.

Sam kept his because he never forgot about you. Sure, he was busy, and he could be easily distracted by his new life in the Valley, but he simply could never find himself to take off the bracelet. He still cared about you, even if it had been years. You were his first friend, and in a way, his first love.

He sometimes wondered what would be if he stayed in Zuzu city, or if you two didn’t lose contact.

But he didn’t need to wonder about what could have been when you moved to the valley.

He had heard of the new farmer for a couple days, but didn’t really think about it. While on his way to Sebastian’s house, he happened to bump into you. You two didn’t even know it was the other until Sam had saw the bracelet hanging off your wrist.

You two kind of just stared at each other.

Sam was more then shocked, thinking he’d never even see you again.

But then he just kind of held open his arms, not really expecting much, but flushed up imminently when you jumped into his arms. You two just kind of giggled for a bit before you two decided to catch up. Sam felt bad for leaving Sebastian hanging, but he was not losing this opportunity to catch up with you after so long!

You two had spoke for hours, just about your lives and what had happened over the years. But seeing you had brought back all his old feelings for you as a kid. He was a bit more of a cheeky bastard, but still reminded you of when you two were kids.

Days led into weeks of you two constantly being around each other. It was just like when you two were younger when you two were stuck at the hip.

Sam shifting pretty much all of his attention to you honestly annoyed Sebastian and Abigail, and since they couldn’t even get to know you, they didn’t understand why. Sam didn’t really have a clue he was annoying his friends and neglecting them, since he was so infatuated with you.

Sebastian decided to be the one to confront Sam about it since him and Abigail played Rock Paper Scissors and he lost

Unknown to the two of them, you had been creeping around the corner, ready to surprise Sam with one of his favorite gifts, but happened to hear your name being brought up. And of course, curiosity got the best of you, so you remained hidden as you listened in.

“I just don’t understand why you can’t hang out with us anymore.”

“…I’m sorry I haven’t been paying attention to you two lately, but it’s a lot more complicated then that!”

“What’s complicated about your best friend leaving you for a farmer?”

“N-No! It’s not… Aurg… Look, its more then a friendship for me-“

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I love Y/n Sebastian!”

You dropped the tigerseye on the ground, mouth agape and face beat red. They quickly turned towards you, Sam’s face shifting in the same expression as yours. Sebastian quickly understood the situation and sort of side stepped away from the room, leaving you two alone.

You stared at each other once more, before Sam went into apology mode, sweating bullets as he tried to make an excuse for what you had overheard.

“Y-Y-Y/N! I-It’s not what you think! I-I was uh… I meant it in… S-Sebastian and I!-“

You were quick to yank him down by his collar, pulling him into a rough, but sweet kiss. Sam was too shocked to move, even when you pulled away, giving him that sweet smile that you always did.

You admitted you had felt the same that he did about you, even since you two were kids. Sam just stared at you with his eyes popping out of their sockets, taking in every word carefully.

When you were done, there was a pause, and for a minute, you wondered if you had said something wrong. However, he started giggling. In the super cute, flustered way as he held his beat red face in the palm of his hand.

“I must be dreaming… This has to be the best day ever!”

He picked you up by your waist, spinning you around as you two giggled like two lovesick teens.

This was the start of something new for you two, something slightly scary, but beautiful at the same time. And who knows? Maybe you two will act on that pinky promise. ;)

[barely-coherent]

Sebastian x Elliot Headcanons

I'm down bad for these two quiet

They probably met at the dock

Imagine there's normal weather patterns and it can randomly start raining okay?

So sebastian has a computer so he probably checks the weather

Elliott has no TV, no computer so he can't check

Sebastian starts walking to the dock right before it starts raining

Elliott is already out there

And it just starts POURING

Like really coming down

Elliott is like "Oh no" and runs over asking if he can use Sebs umbrella just until he can get inside

Sebastian is like "Uh sure" and they walk over to his cabin and Elliot suddenly looks really inspired

"Thanks, I can add this to my romance book!" And rushes inside and Sebastian is just standing there like "You can h w a t"

A few days later Sebastian comes back and is like "Hey, about that umbrella thing, wtf do you mean add it to your book, I just walked you a couple feet."

And Elliott starts going off like "Okay so you know how it's the cliche kiss at the end of a date outside the front door and like sharing an umbrella gets them close? So I was thinking-"

And Sebastian just listens

And he's like "Oh no"

Cause Elliot has a really nice voice

My voice claim for him is Liam O'Brien from Vox Machina

ANYWAY

Sebastian is just like "Uh huh, cool" And walks away like "OH NO"

I imagine he goes home and texts Sam like "I think I have an idea for a song"

And Sam is like "OH HELL YEAH" cause he thinks Sebastians song will be sick as hell

And then they try it out and it's like this love song about someone being super out of their league

And Sam and Abby are like "... Man, are you good?"

And he's like "You can't laugh at me."

And they nod with their fingers crossed

"Y'know the guy that lives on the beach?"

They start nodding

"Also a loner, probably mentally ill, it checks out."

And then go over to Elliott and he's writing poetry about how he wants to kiss the carpenters son

I may be projecting but I think Sebastian falls soft and slow while Elliot falls hard and fast

So with Sebastian being like "Yeah, Elliott's lowkey fine as hell" He didn't know what to do

Also, Elliott is a stoner because I said so

One day Sebastian enters the saloon and he just REEKS of weed and Elliott just sniffs the air and is like "Perfect smoke circle acquired"

He doesn't really know how to approach Sebastian about it though

But Sam is trying to be a wingman and is like "Elliott, my bud, my pal, my good good friend, can I ask a favor?" And asks him to review the song that Sebastian wrote

Sebastian is like "Wtf are you doing?"

"Helping."

And Elliott is like "Sure, okay"

And after a while of reading it he's like "It sounds like you wrote it high. Like this doesn't seem like him, was he high?"

And Sebastian let's out a laugh and is like "They wouldn't put it past me but no, I wasn't high."

And Elliott is like "We should smoke some time, that would be fun."

And Sebastian is like "Alright fine."

ALSO MY FARMER IS ALSO A STONER

They meet up to smoke and Elliott is like "Did you know the farmer is really good at baking? Both ways too."

And Sebastian laughs

Like actually laughs as Elliott hands him a brownie

They both lie on the floor and get high and then Elliott is like "That was a love song, yeah?"

"Huh? Oh yeah."

"Hmm... Was it about someone specifically?"

Sebastian is like "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"There were a couple lines about living on the beach and not living up to a romance book expectations"

And Sebastian is like "I gotta call someone real quick" and pulls out his phone

"SAMSON WHAT THE FUCK NOW HE KNOWS"

And Elliott is like "Don't worry, I thought it was cute."

They talk it out

Elliott is like "I could take you on the best date of your life"

And Sebastian is like "The only date of my life."

Elliott is like "How much do bus tickets cost to Zuzu city?"

And Seb is like "... You ever ridden a motorcycle?"

The date is honestly pretty fun

They go to a library and Elliott buys him some new sci-fi books

They also go thrift shopping

Afterwards, Seb is like "That was fun"

And Elliott just nods with this look on his face like he's almost sad

And Sebastian is like "Do you wanna... come in?"

So Sebastian sneaks him into his room

NSFW MINORS DNI

Ngl, it probably doesn't start right away

Elliott is like "Tell me if I'm wrong but I have a feeling this room is soundproofed"

And Sebastian is like "And from that you know why I invited you in?"

And Elliott just looks at him awkwardly before Sebastian just pounces

It's a little awkward, teeth clash and their noses bump but it's perfect to them

They both chuckle a bit at the clumsiness before angling their heads for a better connection

Elliott had ditched his coat snd vest for the date so there was a lot less clothing in the way

The new hoodie Sebastian got had a zipper so there was easier removal

Elliott however had gone for a half button shirt

As he pulled it off, his hair was pulled back and Sevastian groaned at the sight

"You look good with your hair pulled back"

Elliott grinned and grabbed a hair tie from his wrist, tying it back into a ponytail

Sebastian bit his lip and pulled him back in for another kiss

As they shimmied their pants off Sebastian motioned to his desk

"Condoms, lube"

Elliott quickly got them before turning around to see Sebastian stroking himself, hand in his boxers

Elliott had to hold back a growl at Sebastians panting face

As he climbed back on the bed, Sebastian fully removed his boxers and leaned back slightly

Elliott slicked up his fingers and pushed one in

"That feel okay?"

"Mhm! More than okay."

As Elliott added a second finger Sebastian threw his head back and moaned

Elliott was a goner for his expression, pulling out his fingers and ripping open the condom wrapper

He held himself above Sebastian and kissed him, interlocking their fingers as he pressed in

Sebastians mouth fell open in a silent moan and grabbed onto Elliotts hair, pulling slightly

"Fuck, baby, do that again." Elliot whined as he began to rock his hips

Sebastian continued tugging Elliotts hair, pulling him down to his neck

Elliott took that as a cue to start sucking and biting his neck, dark red splotches being left behind in his wake

At a particularly hard bite, Sebastian arches his back and clenched around Elliott, making him grin

"You like when it hurts, love?"

Sebastian nodded, squirming as Elliot bit down again

Elliott started moving his hips faster, gripping onto Sebastians hips and dogging his nails in

"Fuck, oh fuck! Yes, like that!" Sebastian tugged Elliotts hair harder, losing himself in the pleasure

A growl from Elliott made Sebastians eyes open, looking at the purely animalistic look of Elliotts face

Sebastian burned that into his memory, feeling himself getting close

"You close? C'mon, cum for me, be a good boy."

Sebastian tipped over the edge with that and let out stuttered gasps, attempting to close his legs around Elliott as he shot ropes across his chest

With a few more pumps, Elliott filled the condom and gently pulled out of Sebastian, tying it off and throwing it in the trash can

"Shh, you did so well, you were so good." Elliott stroked his hair, holding him close to his chest

As Sebastians breathing evened out he stretched from staying in the same position and yawned

"Can you get me a towel? Bathroom's upstairs next to the kitchen." He mumbled and let his head fall back to his pillow

Elliott returned shortly after along with a glass of water

Sebastian slowly sipped the water as Elliott wiped him down

After he had finished about half the glass, he set it down and stretched out his arms for Elliott

"Stay the night, I'll think of an excuse tomorrow morning"

The next morning, Sebastian walked Elliott back to his cabin and chuckled

"Just like the book" He grinned and kissed Elliott before waving and making his way back

Bonus

"So, you had fun last night" Abigail grinned at him

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

Sam walked up behind him and pulled his hood higher up his neck

"The hood isn't as high as you think it is, Seb." And Sebastian immediately realized why Demetrius looked more disappointed than usual

"So how was it?"

"I'm not telling my best friends about my sex life."

"Ooh, that means it was kinky~"

"Maybe we stop talking now."

[barkspawn]

Can you do one where Sam and the farmer are really close friends and Jodi keeps teasing them about dating so they start noticing they they might be actually into each other .? Thanks(^o^)

This was super cute and I am for it... also Jodi is for it

“Ameeeeeeeeeelia!” Sam whined through his phone, “you have to come over. Seb is out of town and Abby is pissed at her dad. You have to come save me or I'll literally die.”

Amelia laughed, hoisting her basket with the eggs and milk onto her arm, “well we certainly can't have that, Sam.” 

“I know!” he yelled, making her wonder if he was outside by the tree at his house. His tone was back to normal, though she could hear the smile behind it, “so I'll see you in ten?”

She laughed, giving in, “I'll be there in fifteen. Just have to sort the eggs,” she paused before catching him, “ask your mom if she wants any and text me. I'll be there soon to save your life.”

“My hero,” he said as she laughed. She heard him opening the door to his house, Vincent and Jas playing in the background, “I'll ask her. Hurry!”

She hung up, smiling to herself as she went inside to get ready. 

She sorted the eggs quickly, Sam having responded with a quick affirmative before sending a gif of someone dying dramatically. She responded simply with one of her favorite characters looking sad in the rain. 

She couldn't seem to stop smiling as she got dressed and fixed her hair. She went with shorts today, paired with a simple blue band tee that she adored. Sam had even told her it looked great on her. She considered attempting to tame her hair but realized that it would be so much easier to leave it be. Besides, it looked kind of cute. Still, she slipped a hair tie on her wrist, crouched to say bye to Loaf, and headed out the door to save her best friend. 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

“So, Sammy,” Jodi started, drying the dishes she had just finished washing, “will Amelia be staying for dinner tonight?”

Sam thought for a moment before he saw the look on her face, the not-so-subtle smile, “I'll have to ask her what she wants to do.”

“Oh, I thought you two might want to grab dinner at the saloon or maybe a picnic.”

Sam sighed, fixing his hair absently in the reflection of a frame on the wall. His voice sounded almost practiced like he was reciting some report or test, “mom, Amelia and I are friends,” he gave her a pointed look, trying to portray finality, though she only laughed to herself.

“I don't ever see you fixing your hair or changing your clothes before Sebastian comes over,” she teased, causing his cheeks to grow warm in a light blush. 

He waved her off before checking his phone one more time. 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Amelia was passing by the ranch when she remembered that she left her phone on the table at home. With a groan, she walked down the path, Sam's house coming into view. Almost the exact second she saw his house, Sam was bounding outside, running directly for her. 

If she didn't know any better she'd think he was going to tackle her. Her eyes widened as she said his name in a warning tone. They were practically at the edge of the property. 

He stopped in front of her and frowned, a small pout playing at his lips that would let him get away with anything. 

“I just wanted a hug, Meels,” he held his arms out and wiggled his fingers, “please?”

She laughed and nodded before yelping out a surprised laugh, not expecting him to take and lift her in a bear hug. She wrapped her arms around him in return.

Jodi had stepped outside to bring the trash out. She shot Sam a coy smile before calling out her hello. 

“Hey Amelia!” she beamed, stealing a quick hug from the farmer as she went into the house, “are you staying for dinner?”

Amelia looked over to Sam, who gave her a face that was so clearly trying to make her see that he'd tell her all about Jodi and her teasing when they got inside. 

Once settled, she and Sam took a subconscious step away from one another. She smiled at Jodi, “I'd love to, if you'll have me.”

Jodi waved her off and opened the door, waiting as they followed in behind her, “Oh, you're welcome over any time.”

Amelia smiled and thanked her as she and Sam made their way to his room, the kids giving her a distracted, “hi farmer Amelia,” as she passed. 

Once in his room, Sam closed the door and groaned, moving to sit in the chair by his desk as Amelia plopped down on his bed, kicking her sandals off and lying on her belly to face him, propped up on her elbows. 

“I'm here now, aren't you supposed to stop dying?” Amelia teased, Sam rolling his eyes. 

“Oh, totally,” he gave her a wide, crooked smile as they met eyes. As it often did, her stomach did a little flip at the sight of his smile, “but my mom is making me nuts.”

“Uh oh, what happened?” Amelia frowned, knowing the issues he and his mom had shared occasionally. But with Kent home now, she thought things were improving. 

Sam’s cheeks tinged pink as he hoped it would just seem normal. Why did he set himself to have to tell her? 

“She keeps…” he paused, trying to think of the right words, “implying that you and I are… A thing.”

Amelia laughed, though she felt her own cheeks grow warm, “I know I've been coming over every day lately but I think she would make you keep your door open if she thought that.”

Sam laughed himself then, giving a half-shrug, “she hasn't been that uptight,” he paused, “though I don't know. It's not like I'm dating anyone or acting suspicious.”

She flung her hair tie at him, joking, “apparently you are around me, Samson ,” she teased as he rubbed his chest where the band smacked. 

“You are so lucky that I don't feel like getting revenge yet,” he joked, making her laugh before he pats the floor beside himself in front of the TV. As she moved to his side, he pulled out the Game Station, she sat, ankles crossed in front of her. 

“I'm getting you bean bag chairs for your birthday,” she teased, though he threw her a bright grin before she continued, “but for now I'll just kick your ass at Junimo Kart again.”

He barked out a laugh then as he handed her a controller, “what about one of those massive ones where you can sit like… Two people. They're dope,” he started the system, “and you wish, Meels. I've been practicing my mad kart skills.”

She laughed as the game started, destroying him in each race until he suddenly started winning game after game. 

She pouted for a while until the game just sat idle on the main menu as they lean back and chat, both hyper aware of the fact that their fingers lay only millimeters away from one another. 

It wasn't long before Jodi came to tell them that dinner was ready. 

Sam helped Amelia up, not letting go of her hand as he looked into her eyes.

“I have no idea why she's on this kick of picking on me about this,” he explained, “so I'm sorry in advance if she says anything weird during dinner.”

Amelia laughed and shook her head, squeezing his hand before turning toward the door, him in tow behind her. 

The house smelled amazing. Jodi must have made a stew with the last of the spring vegetables. Jodi smiled at the two of them from the table. 

“Uh, where's Vince?” Sam asked, checking behind them where the kids were previously playing. 

“Marnie invited him to eat with them at the saloon tonight,” she explained, gesturing for the two to sit. 

They moved to the table, sitting in the two chairs across from Jodi, who was placing their bowls in front of them. They gave thanks before digging in. 

It was amazing. 

When they made it about halfway through their meals, Jodi looked over at Sam, smiling sweetly before deciding on her words, “it's supposed to rain tomorrow.”

“Okay…” Sam stared, confused. 

“Just letting you know in case you were planning on heading to the beach… or tide pools.”

Sam nearly choked on his bite then, Amelia quickly rubbed his back, “whoa, you okay?”

Sam took a long drink of water and glared at his mom, who was still smiling sweetly, “yeah, yeah, sorry. I'm cool,” he spoke up, giving his mother the slightest shake of his head. 

Amelia was confused, not quite knowing why anyone would go to the beach in the rain. Well, anyone but Sebastian, of course. She smiled at Sam before returning to her soup. 

It was another few minutes before anyone had spoken again, Sam finally relaxing as he ate. Suddenly, Jodi sat up a little straighter, humming as if she remembered something important. 

Sam shot her a warning look, though she continued, “I completely forgot to talk to Emily about when to pick up Vincent's suit for the flower dance.”

Amelia smiled, wiping her mouth politely before speaking, “I have to pick up my dress from her in the morning if you'd like me to bring you his suit.”

“Oh, that would be lovely!” Jodi beamed as Amelia gave a small, confirming smile, “will the two of you be dancing together this year?”

“ Mom, ” Sam warned, Amelia's eyes widening a bit before she nudged Sam. 

“Don't you always dance with Penny?” Amelia hummed, her cheeks no doubt pinker now as she turned to Jodi, “I'm just watching at the moment.”

Sam found himself automatically wanting to say no about dancing with Penny and actually ask Amelia if she’d dance with him. Instead, he gave a small shrug, “Nah. We only really ever dance because it was only the two of us left. We're friends and all, but I think she's not dancing this year. So, nah, I guess.”

He started down at his soup before finishing up the last bit just as Amelia did. She glanced up at the clock and her eyebrows shot up, “oh Yoba. I should head home,” she turned to smile at Jodi, standing and taking her plate to the sink and washing it out. Sam came over and helped her before turning back to his room to grab his jacket.

Jodi spoke up, just loud enough for Sam to hear, “it's so nice to have you around so often. Sam is happier than he's been in a–” 

“C’mon, Meels, I'll walk you home,” Sam called from the door, gesturing for her to follow. 

Amelia gave a quick goodbye to Jodi and turned to leave with Sam, who groaned again when they got outside, “I am so sorry. I have no idea what's gotten into her.”

She laughed and started off, wrapping her arms around herself at the chilly wind, “it's really no problem. She just wants to see you happy.” she smiled over at him, nudging his arm with hers. 

He relaxed, looking over at her before chuckling and taking his jacket off to put around her shoulders, “she would have a field day if she saw me give you this,” he teased. 

“I won't lie, it is super sweet of you,” she smiled, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. He felt his cheeks warm a bit as they walked, their pace slower than he was used to walking. 

It took him a minute to realize, but it was because he didn't want her to leave yet. 

The realization made him frown, staring ahead as he wondered if it was his mom getting into his head. It couldn't have been though… He was always a bit bummed when she left and admittedly, he often would text her immediately. 

The thought stressed him out. He lifted his hand to bite his thumbnail. 

What he didn't know was that her thoughts pretty much mirrored his just then. She always was happy around him, his smile making her feel incredibly light and giddy. 

But how could they risk everything they've built in their friendship?

She looked over at Sam, an uncharacteristic frown playing at his lips. She took a deep breath and looped her arm through his, bumping against him playfully. She grew fairly good at hiding her panic. 

“Hey, I don't know why you're frowning, but never do it again.”

He couldn't help but laugh, patting her arm with the hand not supported by the arm in hers, “I don't know how you do that.”

His voice was soft, though she took note that his arms were cold as they turned up the southern path to her farm, “I'm not sure what I did, but probably just ‘cause I'm awesome.”

He laughed quietly, nodding a bit, “yeah. You really are.”

She walked with him, quiet for a moment before squeezing his arm again, “what was wrong, if you don't mind me asking?”

He gave her a small, almost sad smile as they somehow slowed more to prolong their time, “don't ever think you can't ask me something,” he paused as they stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He sighed, staring down at his shoes as he thought, “I'm worried my mom might be getting into my head.”

Amelia tilted her head to the side and reached forward, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, “you can talk to me, you know that, right?”

He chuckled, his voice quiet, “I know. I'm just getting inside my own head. Apparently, it’s genetic.”

She thought for a moment, searching his face as she started to consider that he might be in the same boat as her. She didn't know whether to take the risk or not. 

She stepped up on the first step, making herself taller before pulling off his jacket, “and if you want to get it all out, I'm your girl,” she teased before pulling the jacket around his shoulders and enveloping him in a tight hug, her arms around his neck as his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly against him. 

After a long moment, they pulled back, still standing close enough to make their hearts race. 

“What if… Do you think maybe she… Wasn't completely wrong?” he spoke, his voice hardly audible as he searched her face for any inkling of denial or affirmation. She bit her lower lip for a moment, nervously, she toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, goosebumps prickling his skin beneath. 

After a long moment, her hand moved around to rest on his neck, her thumb gently moving over his jawline. 

She saw his face grow pink and knew she didn't misunderstand. 

Slowly, giving him a chance to back off, she leaned in, closing her eyes as she pressed a small, gentle kiss to his lips for a long moment before pulling back. She wasn't certain if her heart was about to implode, but she was certain that it wasn't just Jodi getting into her head. 

Sam looked at her for an agonizing moment before she uttered, “should I be apologizing, Sam?” 

He met her eyes before giving the slightest shake of his head before moving forward again, pressing his lips to hers in a firmer kiss, his hand moving to cup her face as well, one small kiss turning into multiple, longer kisses. They remained slow and careful as if the wrong move would scare the other away.  

After a moment, she pulled back, her voice shaking slightly, “do you think that we should keep doing this?”

“Do you mean now or in general?” he teased, his voice a little breathy as he rest his forehead on hers as his hand returned to her hip. She laughed quietly as he finished, “but the question doesn't matter, I think. Because for me, it's a pretty solid yes. But preferably inside. You're shivering”

She laughed once more, quietly as she complied, pressing another kiss to his lips before pulling back and turning to go inside. With a groan, she turned to him. 

“Your mom is going to have a field day.”

He shrugged, that smirk playing on his lips, “I'll give her the win here,” he started, “speaking of things she said, about the flower dance… Would you like to dance with me?”

She pretended to think, pushing open her door and going in behind him, “only if you promise to kiss me again. And to not step on my feet.”

He did; both kiss her more and step on her foot. But only once.

[quailfence]

For the ask game:

Fandom: Stardew Valley

Ship: Kay/Sebastian/Klavier

Ask game

For anyone who hasn’t played Stardew: Some of my answers may make more sense if you’re aware that the player character (the Farmer) is meant to be a self-insert and can marry several different characters

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Penny for marriage candidates/romancable characters, for non-romancables uhhh

Least Favorite character: Pierre maybe? I don’t hate him like a lot of other people but I also don’t find him very interesting

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Farmer/Penny, Abigail/Sam/Sebastian, Penny/Maru, Emily/Sandy, Farmer/Emily

Character I find most attractive: Caroline or Sandy

Character I would marry: Penny, she’s my favorite of the marriage candidates and is probably the one I’m most likely to marry IRL

Character I would be best friends with: Probably Abigail

A random thought: I’m really excited to see what’s new in the 1.6 update! I’ve already played through three in-game weeks on the new farm

An unpopular opinion: I actually enjoy the fishing minigame.

My canon OTP: Player/Penny (for or Kent/Jodi

Non-canon OTP: Abigail/Sam/Sebastian

Most badass character: Tempted to say the Farmer themself but if that’s a copier then Mr. Qi

Pairing I am not a fan of: Sorry Shane fans but he’s my least favorite of the marriage candidates - I don’t hate him I just. Am not very interested in him

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Demetrius - While his in-game dialogue is alright in and of itself, his behavior in cutscenes plus not mentioning his stepson, Sebastian, at all combine to make him unsympathetic and a bit off-putting. (Honestly, just fixing the “not mentioning Sebastian” thing would be fine - the idea of them having a complex or even somewhat hostile relationship is fine with me, but I wish the game either delved into it a bit more or dropped it entirely).

Favourite friendship: Abigail & Sam & Sebastian

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when or if I started shipping it: You talking about shipping them made me think about shipping them. (I should probably mention that I haven’t played investigations or Apollo Justice, so all my knowledge of them both as individual characters and as a ship comes via fandom)

my thoughts: Not one of my main ships but it’s nice and cute

What makes me happy about them: I’m having a hard time putting this into words but like… Kay and Klavier are both pretty confident and energetic, and while Sebastian isn’t as confident and energetic he still (would) get(s) along with them, and they encourage him to open up and try new things, and maybe some of their conference ends up rubbing off on him

What makes me sad about them: that they’ve all had to deal with different flavors of Family Bullshit TM

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: N/A

Things I look for in fanfic: N/A

My kinks: N/A

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Sebastian: Franziska. Kay: Also Franziska. Klavier: Ema, Simon, or Nahyuta. Not as into Klavier/Apollo but I don’t mind it either

My happily ever after for them: Even if they don’t settle down together they still keep in touch for the rest of their lives

[carpsurprise]

Hi! I’d love to see a fluff/nsfw fic or some headcanons about a situation in which Elliott and Sebastian are both interested in the farmer, who is either oblivious or indecisive.

Even though they’re so different, I can’t help thinking they’d be into the same kind of girl—worldly, intellectual, affectionate but introverted, etc. I just can’t get over the thought of how differently they’d deal with jealousy. So cute!

OH i def agree w/ that kinda being their type!! i dont think they’d be TOO different... but definitely see each other as competition they could never match up to.

→ elliott’s jealousy probably manifests from his age and a sort-of imposter syndrome. he’s one of the older bachelors (how could he compete with a spring chicken?), let alone someone so mysterious. elliott cannot keep his mouth shut to save his life. even with his otherworldly skill with words, he would end up much too afraid of delivering his feelings incorrectly. working tirelessly to find the right thing to say would be so exhausting. 

→ for sebastian, i think a lot of his jealousy is rooted in insecurity. i think both the feelings of a girl like that would be so far out of his league, and also he has to go up against someone so much more eloquent with his words and— much larger— able to openly express himself and his feelings… would be a downer for seb. truthfully, i dont know if he’d even try. i think he would pine from afar, and just hope, and hope, and hope that she would see him in shining light. 

[novorehere]

I gotta say, you mentioning El/liot in a post a while ago made me foam at the mouth a little

Any s/dv specific hcs you might have ^^?

(Putting my response under the cut because it got a little long! I just couldn’t bring myself to exclude any of the bachelors/bachelorettes even though I have a bit less on some of them. Also fair warning for slight talk of food being with you while you’re inside)

I am assuming with all these that the farmer can shrink down and stay safe using junimo magic or something… In a world with witches and goblins, weirder things have happened in game, so why not?

Elliott:

I have already gushed about this man at extreme length, so I’ll try to keep it short. Enjoys swallowing you very much. Possibly the most out of anyone. Is a true romantic, constantly doting over you the whole time you’re inside. His canonical vice is good food, so we know for a fact the fastest way to this beach poet’s heart is through his stomach. He always had a nagging anxiety about being alone for the rest of his days, and keeping you close like this makes him forget ALL about that. Tries very hard to be a gentleman, but sometimes goes a little overboard on the alcohol and his more unashamed, gluttonous side comes out. Thinks you are THE most delicious thing he’s ever tasted, and will tell you that until you’re red in the face.

Sam:

Would be a bit of an awkward and goofy pred. He really doesn’t want to hurt you! Especially when you’re so small and fragile… It’s so weird feeling you poke and prod around in his mouth, he has to psyche himself up mentally before he can swallow you. Is a bit ticklish on the inside, and his belly is sticky and smells vaguely of soda. Eventually learns to really love the feeling of having you in there, but the awkwardness never really goes away. Can and will crack jokes about swallowing you. He thinks it’s super funny. Likes to play guitar for you while you’re inside, or just place his phone on his belly and let you listen to one of his new favorite songs. Will buy you ice cream afterwards.

Sebastian:

A huge tease. Like, annoyingly so. Knows exactly what to say to leave you blushing. He’ll take his sweet time tossing you around in his mouth to taste you before swallowing you down, enjoying all your adorable little squirms. Like Sam, Seb will also sneak in jokes about swallowing you, but moreso to see your cute annoyed reactions than anything. Loves keeping you in his belly while he pulls an all-nighter on his computer, absentmindedly rubbing his tummy while he focuses on his task. You also quickly learn being inside someone riding a motorcycle is… not fun. You try to avoid that scenario as much as possible, but Sebastian really loves it.

Harvey:

Is extremely fascinated about how the shrinking process works, and will ask you a million questions about it. Will initially be very surprised by your request. “You know what happens to food when you eat it, right?” But after a thorough explanation, will eventually be willing to try if it’d make you happy. Will probably need a bit of reassuring before he can actually make himself swallow. Breath probably smells like pickles, but not in a bad way??? Very concerned with your well-being the whole time, asking you practically endless questions about what it’s like in there and if you’re still doing ok. Finds it strangely comforting to have you so close to him, despite the weirdness of it all. Waking up to a cup of coffee with you sitting in it is a sure way to get this nerd to smile. Might potentially be ok with being prey if he can put aside his claustrophobia. Observing the human body up close would be quite interesting. He trusts you completely, so if that’s something you’d enjoy, let him know. He will definitely wait for you to bring it up, though.

Alex:

Stardew’s resident sports himbo would probably not fully understand your request at first. You wanted him to eat you? You can’t fit in his mouth, silly. But when you show him your magic, he immediately gets it. He’s a bit afraid to accidentally injure or drop you while you’re small like that (he can be a bit careless sometimes!) but quickly gets over his reservations about holding you in his hands. Thinks you’d make a wonderful pre-workout snack. Since you have a lot of energy, that should give him energy, right?? Since he’s such a heavy eater throughout the day, there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself accompanied by one of his other meals, be it a protein shake or a full, complete breakfast. Occasionally will start snacking absentmindedly without thinking about the implications of it ending up with you and then feels really bad after.

Shane:

Ah, Shane. When you first told him about your powers, he had scoffed. Just how was that useful? And you wanted him to… swallow you? Why him of all people? Surely you could find somebody else… But in the end, he just couldn’t ignore your puppy dog eyes. Plus, he feels like he still owes you a favor for helping him turn his life around. He swallows you once, then oops he’s addicted. The feeling of having you close like that is just the serotonin boost he needed, plus the free meal ain’t bad either. A bit shameless about it all, drooling all over you and rubbing his gut once the deed is done. Might even just continue eating afterwards if he feels like it. Probably has a bit of a sensitive stomach due to his not-so-great diet, so be gentle in there. Thinks it’s funny the way you squirm when he belches. This is what you signed up for, right?? The chickens love snuggling up to his tummy while you’re in there, it’s so cute and he secretly took a picture of it on his phone that he looks at when he’s feeling down.

Abigail:

Super chill. When you first brought it up, she just laughed and said “That’s sick, I’ve gotta see that!” She’s no stranger to weird magic, so it’s not too far-fetched to think she wouldn’t be too phased by it all. Very much enjoys swallowing you, and thinks it’s cute that you love it so much. Sometimes teases you, but in a very sweet way. Will make wagers to see who can get the highest score in a game, with a free meal as the ante. Especially adores swallowing you down after a long day fighting in the dungeons to give you a bit of rest. She feels like a human save point! Overall, a really great and fun pred. Also as an aside she apparently eats the amethysts you give her which is hilarious. She’s got that “I like this so I’m going to put it in my mouth” mentality I guess xD

Emily:

Emily is a weirdo. Weird enough that she’d probably be 100% down for it right from the get go. I feel like she’d be all about the whole thing, incorporating it into her whole “spiritual wellness” routine. I can’t decide if she’d be more likely to want to meditate inside, or swallow you up as a sort of “charm” to connect your energies. Either way, she definitely enjoys the intimate oneness of it all. Just PLEASE don’t drink the tea if she puts you in her teacup. Trust me on this one. Will also bring weird rocks inside you if you’ll let her. She won’t hesitate to talk about it openly with the other residents of the valley, and it gets a little awkward for the others at times.

Penny:

Definitely unintentionally babies you when you’re small. “Oh, do you need help with that? Here, let me cut up your food for you.” She’s just too sweet for her own good. I honestly can’t see her getting into vore. You’d have to really convince her to do something like that. If you somehow do, she’d be extremely nervous. Will probably chicken out halfway, and then get upset at herself for not being able to help you with your request. She really wants to make you happy though, and if she can finally put aside her reservations, she’ll find that it’s a lot less scary than she thought. Please don’t make her do it again though 😭

Leah:

Thinks your shrinking powers are just the coolest. You look so cute, you’re like her tiny poseable human model come to life! She’s getting so many art ideas now, and you get to be her muse! But then… you want her to what?? Umm, ok? As long as you’re sure you’ll be safe, she’ll indulge you in whatever strange game you’re playing. It’s kind of a nice feeling, having a friend inside while she works on her woodcarving project. It makes her feel confident! Plus you seem to really like it in there, so it’s a win-win. Can and will paint a portrait of you posing on a fruit bowl or a salad and hang it in her bedroom. Now whenever she sees a salad at the saloon she thinks of you, drizzled with balsamic dressing. Maybe she’ll work up the confidence to ask you to do that again sometime…

Maru:

I don’t know as much about Maru, as I don’t have very much in-game friendship with her. Definitely will want to research your new power once she hears about it. Maybe she can reverse engineer it somehow to make crops huge and end world hunger! It’s for the betterment of science, farmer. You literally can’t say no. She strikes me as someone who could be cool with both roles, depending on what she needs to experiment on that day. Can and will drag random inventions down your throat to test them out, or perhaps swallow you down and make you be her little test subject.

Haley:

Like Maru, I also don’t know much about Haley. From what I’ve gathered, would probably not be into it. Like at all. You’re literally covered in dirt all day, and you want her to stick you in her mouth? Are you crazy? Would think you being small was THE most adorable thing though. So many adorable photo ops!! Will show you off to everyone.

Krobus:

Including this little guy just for fun. Vore is a considerably normal thing to his kind, and is super honored you’d want to do something like that with him. Vastly prefers being prey though. As someone who’s lived most of his life in a dark and dank cave, being in a warm stomach is probably preferable to him. That way he can stay with you and out of the sunlight while you run errands. Poor little guy’s got separation anxiety. Also canonically tastes like black licorice candy, so he’s got that going for him I guess.

[bottlecaprabbitgames]

It's me again!!:D I just read your answer to my ask and yes! Yesterday I unlocked the Elven City and Demon City plus the quick travel services to those places and to the eastern woods! I've made it my personal mission to romance the prince himself because I'm a foolish sucker for the "I hate you, why are you nice to me"-Trope and I'm curious to see how his personality will change towards the MC lmao- In SDV I almost always go for Elliott, but the character development I enjoyed the most is definitely Haley. I also played Expanded and *coughs* Lance? I love you? But also, why are your quests so hard? I honestly think that that's a bit sad tbh, cuz you already have to wait so long to meet him and then you just get hit with quest after quest in order to get his hearts:(

Anyways, YES I love the dragons and other creatures in this game, they look so cool!! I would've loved to adopt the dragon bby myself tbh. When it hits you with the 🥺 I just thought: .... I want you. Now I'm working towards adopting a fox... creature, riding thingy from the Elves, hehehehe>:)

And I picked Amari Farmer for my first playthrough! I definitely wanna go Angel next, don't know what profession yet though, maybe Baker?:0 My only gripe with the character customization is that I don't like the eyes- They fit the game but now my character just looks worried 24/7😭😭

Oh god you are MILES ahead of me LOL

I just beat Weedil and I'm working on getting some quests done while also getting all the machines and stuff you can at the farm, as well as grinding skills. I think my exploration is at 14/15 for the quest Elios gives you to get a skill to level 15, so that's where I'm at at this point! (Also, beating Weedil gives this funky looking pet that keeps shooting seeds around me... lil meanie.)

I'm also trying to grind spring seasonal tokens because AAAAA I WANT THE LITTLE FAIRIE PET THING! AND ALL THE STUFF BLOSSOM HAS!!! All that stuff is so cute, I want it so much ;-;

I'm probably romancing Anne or Liam with my Elf, and I'll probably romance Wornhardt with my human I use for streams, mainly because my regulars really like him lol

Oooh, Amari Farmer!!! I do like the Amari stuff, it looks very interesting!! I actually really like all the races and the customisation, but I do agree that the eyes are... strange, to say the least.

In Stardew, my first romance was Elliot! But my favorite romance is Sebastian, with Shane coming up second. Haley's character development was BEAUTIFUL!!! I loved every second of it!!!

[nyxo-cthulu]

Rating Stardew Valley Milfs, from worst to best.

Disclaimer: SPOILERS +I'm biased.

Worst of. Robin. Mother of 2, Sebastian from first marriage (adult) and Maru from current marriage (youngest and adult) Robin is the one mom everyone gets a crush on in the first few minutes of playthru, but dont let that make you ignore the atrocities she still does in her house. Her MILK AND BREAD is building house, she is A CARPENTER, but she cant even think of building a window for her son??? Does she want him dead? asphyxion is a serious matter wtf and he lives in a basement? (thats okay, Sebastian likes the basement part, but he often voices his miscontent with having no windows) She also sit still in the face of her husband being controlling over her daughter... She is enabling abuse in exchange of comfort. Did she ever do any parenting ever? is the reason she married a second time, was to get a parent to take over the hassle she was never ready for???

Coming for Pam in second. Mother of one, Penny, an adult. Need i say more? She is irredeemable. Irresponsible. Lazy. Low-key narcissistic. Lost herself to an addiction. Doesnt show much care about Penny. Cares more about how others see her than Penny. The education she gave to Penny was in the purpose of Penny taking care of her instead of the opposite. She is verbally abusive and some fans even speculate that she is physically so. Not a mother in any way shape or form.

Third of, Jodi. Jodi Jodi Jodi... A pitiful woman, but still a bad mother. She still love her kids, but... She wasn't made for motherhood... Mother of Sam (adult ?) and Vincent (Kiddo) She hardly ever participate in taking care of the emotional and disciplinary needs of her kids, and she compensate by spoiling them with toys. Sam, he is a child with the age of an adult. Ans she is to blame... Vincent's mental growth is way worse than Sam's, its as if he has no actual mental stimulation aside from Penny's teachings :( She often complains about chores, but she doesn't realize that she could have given some responsibilities to Sam so that he could help her ToT Its a big part of discipline to give tasks and make the family work together. If you go talk to Vincent frequently, many times he would say that he was hungry... wtf Jodi.. what do you even do with your free time... I think i should also note that Jodi has no actual hobby to take her mind off of her miserable life aside from her little garden, and i'm not even sure what she even grows there... She has no life of her own, and she was forced into the mold of a mother, and she yearns for an escape... if only she had other ambitions, and an actual life outside of motherhood...

Evelyn coming at fourth! She is not bad at all! She is technically a mom, and she takes care of her Grandson Alex! A very loving caretaker! She is a strong willed woman, and doesn't let old age take her productivity down! She is kind to all, and very nurturing ! Genuinely loves and care for people. Finds the joy in the little things, and loves to share with others. No flaws are to be seen in the horizon, except her attachment to the past, which is a cute thing about her tbh xD We don't see her much being a mother, but Alex is relatively a good boy, and it truly shows how much influence she had on him, since he seriously needed that affection in his life But...If Alex wasn't broken by his father... would Evelyn's education be considered too laid back? and would have Alex grown spoiled? George is definitely not a healthy authority figure, so he wouldn't fill the gaps of discipline... Would Evelyn know how to be occasionally harsh without being damaging? It all works out thankfully X)

Best of all for last! Caroline! Mommy I wanna Ntr her so bad Caroline is often voicing her concern for Abigail when talking to the farmer. (Unlike the other direct moms) She truly cares for her daughter. She is just not used to Abigail's interests. And even in her argument with Abigail in the 6 heart event, she apologizes. It shows that, she isn't trying to be controlling, but rather that she is confused about the way her daughter acts and expresses herself. I personally believe that arguments with loved ones is a neutral thing, and that it is the intention of the party that decides whether it's a bad or good quarrel. Good quarrels usually reveals what the individual has to work on. And i think this was a good quarrel. Caroline was checking that Abigail was aware of the opportunities given to her, to make her grateful. It's discipline. And Abigail was asserting her individuality, and refusing to let others decide how she must look. She decides what she wears or does. Both listened to each other, and it was very satisfying tbh. Caroline is also the one person holding up the female population of Pelican town! She is healthy minded and bodied, and encourages other to be that as well, she invites the women to her home to exercise each week! She doesn't let go of her personal, social or Family responsibilities! +If she didn't exist, Jodi would have lost her mind At this point u_u All in all It requires to be a good person to be a good mother!

Heheee Penny is definitely an honorable mention. She took it upon herself to educate and teach the kids of Pelican Town! She is a very encouraging individual. And she is filling the gaps in the learning process of these kids... She basically, became the mother she wish she had...

[ieatsmallorphansnamedtom]

Marriage candidates reacting to being called cute by their crush/the farmer/what have you?

Bachelor/ettes When They're Called Cute

Thanks for the request! My brain's weird right now so these are pretty short. I tried to make them as long as I could.

Bachelors:

Sam

He stops wherever he is and just sort of... Stares. He's starring ahead because his brain needs time to process what's going on. He's all 'what? what now?' After a second, he comes back to reality and apologises for leaving you hanging like that, rubbing his neck or something in the process.

"Aw, shucks, Y/N. Thanks."

Elliott

He's taken by surprise a little, but we both know Elliott still has that higher confidence. He's got his insecurities, sure, but socially he's a champ at taking compliments. Depending on how big the crush is, he might get a little shy, but not by much. He's got it under control. Leans forward and gives your hand a kiss (if you're okay with that).

"Thank you, Y/N."

Sebastian

HA he's embarrassed. The only person to tell him that is his mother, so things feel pretty awkward for him. Like Sam, he'll advert his eyes and try to figure out a response. In the end, it's awkward, but gets the job done (kind of). His face is so, so red, too. But please don't comment on that or else it will get worse.

"Uh, yeah, thanks, I guess."

Harvey

Harvey's either even redder than a tomato or chill. It depends on if he's in Doctor Mode or not. If he is (and this is only really when giving you a checkup), he's all 'uhhh not rn bro.' But if he's not, well, he goes a colour only visible to shrimp. Okay, I'm half-joking there, but he's extremely flustered and gets all nervous and plays with his hands.

"Um, thank you, Y/N."

Shane

If he's got a drink, he'll choke on it. While Sebastian's only gotten this compliment from his parents, he's only got it from his childhood. Which, since he's old, is a long, long time ago. He's confused if anything. Partly because 'what? Why?' in the self-deprecating way but also 'what? Why?' in the why the flippity-fuck are you telling him this and what purpose does it serve?

"Huh? What?" (he's half-laughing)

Alex

Alex man, that confidence I keep talking about. Okay, so, if you're not aware, I HC Alex's confidence to be a total sham. I mean, you've seen his heart events, right (/lh)? Anyways, he goes beetroot-red. Tries to flirt back, sure, but it doesn't work as well as he wants it to. But his crush just called him cute, so give him some slack.

"Hey, uh, thanks. You too."

Bachelorettes:

Penny

Penny's the most affected out of all of them. Normally, she'd be a little flushed but is able to handle the situation. But since, of course, her crush had to say it, she's worse for wear in the way that she is an absolute wreck. If she has her book with her, she hides behind it and goes all 'wow, thank you so much you didn't have to say that shucks um wowee hehe' (or something like that).

"Oh, um, thank you."

Leah

If you know my HCs, you know I think Leah's chill. She laughs it off with a bit of blush on her cheeks, but all-in-all everything's fine. Might flirt back, might not - all depends on what you're comfortable with. But she's totally going to get you back at it, whether it be making you a little gift ('cute, just like you!'), or sending you some 'totally platonic' red roses (P.S. it's the yellow roses that symbolise friendship).

"Hey, Y/N, feeling a little flirty today, huh?"

Abigail

Abigail's taken aback, but she's not letting that stop her. She's going to flirt back instantly and with as cool and quick of a comeback as she can. She also compliments you a lot more afterwards on whatever you're doing or wearing or anything you're comfortable with.

"Not as cute as you." *continues playing her game*

Maru

Maru never really gets those kinds of compliments. She's not starved for affection - not at all! She just never gets called 'cute' per se. So, she gets really flustered when you call her that. To be honest, I don't know if she'd be comfortable with it straight up. She'd prefer to be the one to take the initiative and say it first, so you know she's good to go.

"Wow, um, thanks."

Emily

Emily loves compliments. Whenever she gets one, she gets all excited and says thank you. It's just nice to know people care, y'know? It's also why she hates passive-aggressiveness so much. Anyways, she gets a little flushed and tucks her hair behind her ear. It's always nice to get a compliment, but even better from you!

"Aw, you're so sweet, Y/N."

Haley

Haley's surprised. Despite thinking so highly of herself (and looking absolutely stunning in my opinion), she doesn't get many compliments outside of Alex and her sister. So, when she gets one from her crush of all people, she's pretty taken aback. Her first reaction is to go 'yeah well, duh,' but she's learned not to do that. So, instead she gives you a warm smile (literally, those cheeks are red hot) and says thank you.

"Thanks, Y/N. You're pretty, too."

-~-~-

AHHHHHHFDSFBHJHHHH ANOTHER ONE DOOONNEEEEEEEE!!!!