#also. you will never see a fair indian character from me.

[neembu]

rajkumari indumati & chutki

real rusty but this is the second time i’ve drawn in 4 yrs

[ninja-muse]

Does anyone want a gender-swapped far-future Indian retelling of Aladdin with a subplot involving robot kaiju battles? How about a sci-fi novel full of anticolonial resistance and borderline unlikable characters that is also action-packed and funny? A book that moves from "sure, that might as well happen" to "oh, that got real" over the course of a page, and you both can and cannot trust the narrator?

That said, this is a good book but not a great one. For all the detail that Basu's poured into this, everything from street bazaars to tech terms used out of their present contexts to stoic superpowered space heroes to the incorporation of robots and AIs, the world of Shantiport still never felt real, and there was a little bit more "sure, why not" than I personally like in a plot. It also took a while for me to warm up to "Aladdin" and feel like I understood her, and some minor characters felt one-dimensional or archetypal. But a lot of that comes from the narrative POV, which is necessary to the story and so cool, and the rest comes from anime, Bollywood, and other pop culture tropes and Basu's intent to make this feel cinematic, which is all fair. This isn't a novel so concerned with a finely drawn world that it disregards set pieces and writes out all daring rooftop chases and improbable coincidences.

In short, this is a book that is both intensely smart but is also written to entertain. It was delightful to see all the Aladdin moments in this future context, and even better to see Basu using the story to talk about individual rights, corruption, colonization, oppression, resistance, and reclamation.* The set pieces were great, don't get me wrong. I loved the heck out of the world and how he conveyed it. I loved the narrator even more. (I'm going to call Basu masterful just for what he did with them.) I loved never quite knowing what to expect, either from Basu or the characters, and how what felt like extraneous moments or subplots got tied back in. The villain and the jinn were both fantastic. It's chewy in the way of sci-fi with a point. It made me laugh.

So yes, while it's not a perfect book, it's still pretty darn good and worth the read. It would have been a highlight of my reading month even if August hadn't been as lukewarm as it was, and I'll be watching for whatever Basu puts out next. Well worth the 10 months it spent on my TBR….

*Would it have been nice to see more of that rather than being told? Sure, but I'm not sure how Basu could have worked that in without breaking something more central to the book.

[hayleysayshay]

One Day (Netflix) is truly wonderful. Brilliant acting and pacing

Negatives

- I really would have appreciated intertwining the actress who plays Emma race into the plot a bit more. Not that it has to be a focal point, but she’s Indian without it ever being touched on apart from one line being that her Mum is a Hindu. Also, did her name have to be Emma Morley? Could they not have changed her name, even the surname? I’m not saying the plot doesn’t make more sense, but I appreciate the film feeling grounded and the 80s view of race relations were worse than today so a bit odd. It’s like they wanted it to be diverse but don’t want to touch on racial issues. Which is fine but this film wants to be grounded on realism and touches on class, a lot, but feels scared to acknowledge race. It doesn’t have to be about race, but it could say ‘hey, it exists.’ Because currently this feels like a white character played by an actress of Indian descent, which is fine, but it could have been more.

— Likewise, I found it strange we never see Emma’s parents and we see so much of Dex’s. They didn’t have to be important— they can just be boring and supportive— but it feels like Emma is missing part of her background, which links back to the shows cowardice in touching on race. This might be because of the book I haven’t read but we spend so much time with Dex’s parents, even Sylvie’s family, but none with Emma and it feels like her world wasn’t as fleshed out as Dex’s.

— I wish there was more grounding in each era, and a bit more effort in showing the passage of time.

— I would have appreciated more time spent on the ending episode, just a bit more? I get that it’s just one day but I was wondering what came of Dex’s cafe business.

Positives

— Everything else

— The acting and casting is wonderful. The cast really sell the scenes.

— The chemistry between the two leads is a slow burn. I’m not completely sold on it at the start, But you definitely understand the connection by a few episodes, it’s just that friend who you like and think you could talk to, there is something real there even though they’re not perfect for each other. Slow-burn chemistry.

— the characters are often terrible people (there’s a fair bit of cheating in this story) but you want them to get their act together and be better. I love the realism to the characters, and that the men and women both have flaws. Even Sylvie, who cheats on her husband with Dex’s friend-come-boss, is not unsympathetic and is someone her ex-husband can rely on at the end of the story, even as just a friend. The characters really make the show.

— The end is unfair and devastating and it makes me cry and I love it.

[20kmemesunderthesea]

🦑 Nemo's Fury 2: Octo War 🦑

There's a sequel, my lovelies!

When I saw "Nemo's Fury 2: Octo War" would involve a race of advanced, intelligent cephalopods called "Octopoids," my thought was, "My, that's...creative."

Perhaps a bit corny. Perhaps a bit cheesy. That being said, you know what else is corny and cheesy? Elote. Having grown up on a steady diet of Doctor Who and TOS Star Trek, I'm not one to judge. So just as at every local fair I make a beeline for the nearest elote stall, I enthusiastically made a beeline for Amazon to download "Nemo's Fury 2" onto my Kindle, metaphorical bottle of Tajin in hand.

Premise:

While "Nemo's Fury 2" takes place after the events of the first book, it's formatted as a standalone adventure so that the player doesn't need to have played the first book to follow along and enjoy it.

After having left the Nautilus, you (Irish-American journalist T.K. O'Connor), are picked up by another submarine, this one belonging to the navy of the Indian kingdom of Maharashtra. Maharashtra possesses submarines even more advanced than "The Nautilus," throwing onto question Captain Nemo's personal innovation. (Has he taken more credit for naval technology than is actually due him?!)

Because of your experience onboard the Nautilus, you're drafted into Maharashtra Navy and are sent to salvage a derelict submarine to get it operational once more. Along the way, you reconnect with some familiar characters, pilot a submarine and uncover a genocidal conspiracy which you set out to stop before it's too late!

As for the “Octopoids,” I didn’t think they were terribly corny. (Let me reiterate that "Alfa 177 canine" was seared into my memory at a young age.) In fact, the Octopoids are rather mysterious and I’m left wanting to know more about them. Space aliens are overrated anyway: it’s about time we had some ocean aliens. I, for one, am here for sentient sea life á la “Star Trek: The Voyage Home.”

Gameplay:

Like the first book, the gameplay of "Nemo's Fury 2" is a sort of hybrid between a "choose your own adventure" book and a DnD-type solo rpg. All that’s needed to play is pencil, paper and two six-sided dice.

There are added stats and rules in this book relating to navigating the submarine, repairing it, piloting it, etc, as well as additional hazards such as radiation poisoning and encountering a colorful menagerie of sea monsters. These new rules and game mechanics add more complexity to the gameplay, making it interesting and fun.

Other notes:

-> I personally preferred the storyline of the first book to the second; It felt a bit more composite. On the other hand, I enjoyed the gameplay of "Nemo’s Fury 2" and thought it was cleverly set up and more complex than the first. You might just have to purchase both to see if you prefer one over the other.

-> In the “Nemo’s Fury” game app, more of Captain Nemo’s backstory was explained than in the book version. Only having played the book version, I was left a little confused by how different he was from the the severely depressed middle-aged widower we've come to know and love.

A little more insight into Nemo's past was revealed in “Nemo’s Fury 2,” divulging a story very different from cannon. Avoiding spoilers, this Captain Nemo is in his late 20’s, never married and has serious mommy issues as well as deeply concerning personality disorders which, incidentally, was also the backstory of most of my college classmates.

I don’t necessarily mind a writer changing up a character, but I wish I’d understood right away in the first book that this was a different Captain Nemo than the one I’d expected. The exposition in "Nemo’s Fury 2" actually explained a lot about the first book retrospectively.

This different depiction of Captain Nemo, while angstier, is still objectively interesting and makes for an intriguing antagonistic character on the game's storyline.

In conclusion, "Nemo's Fury 2: Octo War" was an enjoyable sequel and left me eagerly awaiting part three!

[thekrows-nest]

I just thought of something. Krow doesn't know that he's also Bengali, but apparently Bengali people can somewhat tend to be shorter and maybe rounder? This isn't meant to racially stereotype or fetishize and may not be true. Just anecdotally some people think there is a tendency in some regions to be a little shorter.

So if this is at all credible... Krow could have inherited his height and body type from his father's side and might even somewhat resemble him despite possibly never meeting/not seeing each other since Krow was a baby.

Krow's heritage was hidden/taken from him but it's in his bones. He carries his dad and his history with him. Maybe Krow even sees his dad in the mirror without knowing it.

I'm also wondering about other traits... They could just be for fun but it makes me wonder if the possibly supernatural glowing eyes, the pointed teeth and the yandere nature came from somewhere. 🧐

On the subject of the supernatural, I have some very specific Vampire Krow god/mantra guesses for when you have enough time to read it.

That all is very relevant too. The 64 arts (Kalā) and Hindu religious observances look to be a huge part of Indian culture, and Krow practices a fair few of them unconsciously. Despite what happened who he is never left him.

Ooh that is true. Krow would not be aware of his Bengali heritage either. Fun fact, I did not know that about Bengali people. After reading this ask I did a quick look around the internet, and general consensus is that, on average, Bengali people are amongst the shortest people in the world. How fitting for Krow then to be rather small.

Now you saying that about his father, I am now thinking (and applying it to canon) of him looking in the mirror, perhaps pulling his hair back or just imagining it shorter, if he is looking at a younger image of his father in the mirror or not.

Funny you say how he carries his heritage in his bones. I'll give a little crumb about how much that sentence carries weight in more ways than most of you realize. :3c

I will not confirm or deny about the eyes, the teeth, the yandere nature either being for fun or coming specifically from somewhere. I'll give another crumb; I have my reasons for why Krow has these traits. The question is: did I put them in just for my own amusement? Or did I put them in for specific reasoning? Story/character reasons? More details may be revealed in the future.

(I am always down to read your theories Krowspiracy. Always.)

[shojo]

Shojo Reviews Movies: RRR

Guys. THIS MOVIE SLAPS HARDER THAN ANYTHING HOLLYWOOD HAS PUT OUT IN THE LAST DECADE. 

It’s a little over three hours long but let me tell you I was disappointed when it was over because it could have went on for five hours and I would have the same opinion. RRR is epic, heartbreaking, stunning, lights that fire inside of you to keep fighting and put those colonizers in their place. I gotta get up in six hours so I’m just gonna write some bullet point thoughts:

- I’ve never seen a movie made and set in a country that has 1. lived through the British Empire and 2. won against it. The pride of India as a nation was practically oozing from every pore of this film. I’ve also never seen a film that villainizes white Europeans in such a harsh and unapologetic way. Every white person had no redeeming qualities whatsoever and boy did it feel good to see each of them get their comeuppance. (Yes, there is Jenny who you could argue is the token “not all white people” character but she wasn’t perfect, she just happened to be just kind enough to be on the right side of things where it mattered.) Comparing this to a film like Django Unchained where you hate Leo DiCaprio’s character but you love to hate him. It’s still Leo. He’s still very charismatic, handsome, despicable, the whole nine. The governor, his wife, his guards, all awful terrible people who you just hate. Period. The pay off at the end is *chef kisses* to say the least. 

- Naatu Naatu has the skill and prowess of any Gene Kelly ballet with the energy of an EDM rave. I need to watch it approximately 12,000 more times because it’s absolutely fantastic. 

- The differences between American and Indian cinema is a road I’ve always wanted to explore and RRR was a hell of an introduction. In America having a full blown musical number in the middle of an epic revolutionary war drama would more than likely be seen as a gimmick and yet it feels so natural here. And I’m not just talking about Naatu Naatu. There were multiple songs explaining the internal struggle these men are going through, resetting the scene, etc. and they didn’t distract me in the slightest. 

- Nick Fury should have called Bheem and Ram to take care of Thanos instead. 

- I still can’t tell what I was more impressed over: the sheer amount of extras, the fight choreography, or those thirty seconds of Ram dressed as Rama jumping out of the flames like the god he is and landing hit after hit with Bheem making Jason Mamoa look like a guppy with that spear just UGH EVERYONE WAS SO GODDAMN COOL. 

Alright I think that’s everything. Go watch RRR. (Fair warning: this movie does contain very high amounts of violence, bloodshed, and racism so don’t go in expecting three hours of cool suspender dancing. This movie is graphic and does not shy away from showing it. That being said, go watch RRR.)

[shrinkthisviolet]

I’m curious what a CK Spider-Verse AU would look like. I’m thinking Miguel as Miles obvi but I can’t figure out the others. Eli and Demetri fit Hobie and Pav pretty well, but Gwen? She fits both Sam and Tory well. Peter B fits Johnny.

The more I think about it, this sort of reminds me of CK season four.

Does it? I can't really see any parallels there tbh 😅 ATSV is about the conflict between "it's your fate, the fate predestined by so much history, and look what happens if you break it" and "but what if I want to do something different?" while...at best, CK s4 manages a weak attempt at "I'm dissatisfied with how things are and I'll find my own way to fight", which isn't thoroughly explored.

I'd argue that s5 actually drives this theme home more, with Tory making the active choice to walk away from Cobra Kai and Sam making the active choice to break the pattern and reach out to Tory. s4 has more of an "all seems lost" cliffhanger to parallel ATSV, maybe, but in terms of theme, I think ATSV is closer to s5

(although I don't really think CK can ever really communicate its themes as well as ATSV tbh. If it had that potential, it lost it after s2...and though s5 was somewhat of a return to form, it still suffers under the weight of s4 (and somewhat s3 but mostly s4))

But to your character parallels:

Gwen definitely gives me Tory vibes, though Miles is a bit trickier because he's Afrolatino, which Miguel isn't (to be fair, no one in CK is, and Miguel is certainly the closest, so it's not a terrible matchup, but still). But also, if we go the romantic route for them...I prefer Miguel with Sam romantically over Sam 😅

The others tho...don't really fit the mold. s1 Johnny fits ITSV Peter B, but that's about it. Peter B grows from his experiences with Miles, makes amends with MJ, has a daughter who he loves more than anything. Johnny...goes in the exact opposite direction. Sure, he marginally improves due to Miguel's influence...but only briefly before the show regresses him and never really fixes that.

Meanwhile, paralleling Hobie and Pav to Eli and Demetri feels weird because...Hobie and Pav are POC, and that's an intrinsic part of who they are. And especially in regards to Hobie's whole "fight the power" thing...it's not the same as Eli. Hobie doesn't lash out at others, he directs his sense of justice towards oppressors in power. Eli might very well become that, and I hope he does, but...he's not there yet. And in any case, that sort of justice coming from a POC is a bit different than it coming from a white person.

Pav and Demetri don't really have that much in common. Pav is optimistic and inexperienced, while Demetri is pessimistic and fairly experienced in his own right. They're not even both wimps - Pav is pretty solidly built and had a workout routine before the bite gave him a super boost (while Demetri had a hard time with exercise before he joined karate). There's also the matter of Pav being Indian and that being baked into his characterization. The only thing we know about Demetri is that he's white.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as hostile, anon, I appreciated the thought experiment! But this comparison doesn't really hold water, at least not to me.

[risu5waffles]

Ten-10 for Pen-pen

Got another 10 in the pike for y'all. Which, to think of it. Why pike? Who puts anything in a fish? Aside from fish food? i guess?

Talked about this a few weeks back. Short. Sweet. Well, mostly sweet? It's mostly just short, to be honest.

There are some really nice set pieces in this one, yeah. Loved all the giant zombie-ghosty things. The castle, itself, is a really nicely done environment, tho' i feel like the cameras are really a touch to herky-jerky at times. Gameplay was fun enough, even if a few bits don't totally gel; that bouncy floor bit really didn't quite work for me. The major fly in the ointment is the "This Is Halloween" or whatever it's called playing on loop the whole damned level. Even if it were a good song (and this version of it definitely is not), it just can't sustain 7minutes about of gameplay.

It's funny how you'll never hear of a creator, and then you blink and suddenly they're everywhere? And they're actually really good? This one is not a perfect recreation of Skulldozer, but it approximates it quite well, while putting its own spin on the proceedings. i am always a little bit wary of the Temple as a level kit, 'cause it feels a little bit of a kind of way towards Indian (subcontinent India, that is, not Native American) folx? i don't know. It's not my place to get angry about it, but it does tend to ping my "is this going to be gross?" radar. Anyways, Joja28 has a tonne of levels, and they all seem to have come out fairly recently, and they're all pretty good. i hope i didn't make that sound suspicious, because it isn't really. Sometimes folx just get on a whole tear in create mode.

This is another one, like the Snake Temple level above, that got picked up for a Team Pick right after i recorded, but before the episode went live. Hate that. This one's really fun to look at, but not quite as much to engage wiv. If you get out of the score bubble sections, it's really difficult to get back up, so you're just stuck on the boat forever watching the level go by. But the level does, at least, look nice, and it has a lot of character; it just feels really long when you can't engage wiv it.

The first of Chronos' Neon Dimension series, and already just strong right out the gate. Can we step back and appreciate this was made 12 dang years ago? Chronos was just a wee babby. And he just throws this together, like, oh, yeah, i just had this in my back pocket. i remember playing this the first time and thinking how cool it was that the level just kind of put itself together as i went. That was my benchmark for "is this level really special" for a couple of years when i first started reviewing, and it came from seeing it the first time done well here.

i think this might be my favourite "HARD" levels, tho it doesn't really bill itself the way those ones do (seriously, a lot of them just have hard in all-caps right in the title). This one's really tricky, and some bits take a fair amount of finesse, but it never feels unfair, and it never feels like it's rushing you along before you're ready. Add to that an excellent presentation, an extremely chill vibe, and a great choice of music, and you've got a real masterclass in level design. i tell you, no lie, i was so proud to beat this one way back in the day.

Yooo... what is this even? It is so fluid! The animation, it's like, i know it was done in LBP3, but i don't think i've ever seen anyone pull off something that looked quite as good or as well-done as this. The creator said on the title page they might or might not have gotten around to finishing it, but they were publishing it anyways just to have what was completed out there. i'm not familiar wiv the song, so i can't say yay or nay to that; but what we did get is honestly really special.

We're not also posting this to the subreddit, so i can say more honestly how i feel about this level. Fuck this level. Fuck it right in the ear wiv a big metal dick. Gods. This was actually anti-fun. It actually went out and removed fun from the world. It probably shit on a baby's ice cream while i was playing it, powered by my deep frustration and loathing.

There are some cute touches in this one, even if i don't feel like it really needed to be as long as it was. i really liked the skiiers and their bits of animation. The setting had a bit more pop in colour than we usually see in snow-themed levels, and i appreciated that as well. But, to be honest, there isn't really too much that sticks out in my mind either? i know that's kind of shitty, but there you go.

Tell you what, i was not expecting this level to be like this. Like, i've played LaDIDa72's levels before, and they can be tricky, but they always felt tricky in spite of themselves, you know? Like, a little playtesting and polish and they'd work better? i guess i didn't realize that street goes both ways. You can take wonky bits and polish them to be harder. This has got some of the fiddliest, most bullshite platforming i've played in a while and i loved it? It never felt unfair, just always just barely not do-able, and that makes all the difference. Plus, there's little that's dependent on things outside your control, and that, i feel like, is super important to keep players engaged wiv this kind of level. Make someone feel like the fuck up is on their end, and they will beat their heads into the wall trying to get past it, but let them think for a moment that the fuck up was on you as a creator, and they will bounce right out. It super helps this level is pretty as fuck. Like it is just super pretty. Which is half the reason i wasn't expecting it to be a hard level. A lot of times those are just dogshit ugly. Fun fact! i can't watch this video on my own YouTube channel thanks to Song 2 being in the level. Thanks a fucking lump Sony Music Japan! You're total fucking peaches!

---------------------

So that's another ten off the top then. Your usual mix of good, bad, and ugly, but alright enough for all that. It feels like it's becoming my day off refrain, but i got stuff done today, but not what i needed, and not what i wanted. Well, a few things i needed, but not, like, needed-needed, you know?

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 1st September

A new school year begins, and we have two songs, both promising-looking. One's by an artist we've seen before recently, the other by an artist who (excitingly) I've never even heard of! And it's a woman! We've had quite a long run of men for the last few weeks, so it's nice to get a female voice in there.

Indian Love Call - Slim Whitman (peaked at Number 7)

The name and artist both say "Western theme" to me. I did enjoy Rose Marie, though, and "Indian Love Call" definitely doesn't rule out more of the same kind of vibe, with lots of yodelling and general romantic softness, rather than heartbreak and recriminations. It's an evocative title, and I feel like Slim is more than capable of doing it justice.

Oh, yeah, we start straight away with a yodelling "ooOOOOooo" going up and down. I think this is meant to sound "Indian" (aka Native American) which is probably insulting in many ways, but it is certainly a striking way to start out a song.

Actually, between that and the strummy guitar and weird yowling steel guitar, you've got a delightfully weird soundscape. It's country-tinged, but in a particularly odd, lo-fi way that you wouldn't be hugely surprised to find in some modern and slightly folksy indie track. I think the slight feedback from the mic Slim's singing into on the highest notes maybe feeds into that, too. Either way, it's very distinctive. I can only imagine this drifting out of a radio in 1955.

The lyrics are pretty straightforward, all about how the singer is calling to win over his love. Lots of questioning: When I'm calling you / Will you answer too? Slim's yodelling out into the void and hoping his lover responds in kind. Fair enough.

Interestingly, it's from the same operetta that Rose-Marie was from, which was all about a French Canadian girl who falls for a miner. No "Indian" characters in sight, but apparently this comes from an overture section that sets the scene, and is supposedly referring to a myth about indigenous Canadians calling down from the hills into the valleys to attract the girls they wished to marry. I'm not finding any sources for this, and given that the operetta was from 1924, I suspect that this is of dubious veracity, but it gives an excuse for some pretty cool yodelling, I guess. Of its time, though, for sure.

Ooh, Wikipedia tells me this was used in Wes Anderson's Asteroid City, and yeah, I can see Wes Anderson enjoying the vibe of this particular version. It's weird, and striking, and very much a janky, whimsical artefact from a specific time and place. I need to watch that film, at some point - I almost went when it was in cinemas, but Barbie was also playing. A film whose music will not be showing up for much, much longer!

The Breeze and I - Caterina Valente (5)

Caterina Valente has an excitingly non-British-sounding name, is my first thought, and a bit of research does indeed tell me that she is a multilingual Italian-French star, so that's kind of cool! I'm hoping for a bit of European charm - writing this not too long after Eurovision, I feel like that's not too much to ask!

The opening is certainly full-on and jazzy, with all its trumpets, and then we settle into an extravagant Spanish-sounding flamenco opening, all strummy guitar and Caterina singing a very dramatic, melismatic "la la la la-ah-ah-ah" opening. I could be in deepest Andalucia, right now. Even better, it's followed by some dramatic castanets and fast clapping, and some tumbling, shrill strings. This is camp as heck, and I am here for its energy.

And then, almost as suddenly as it started, it slips into another mode, all clave rhythms and cha-cha-cha muted brass, as Caterina sings about how The breeze and I are saying with a sigh / That you no longer care. Basically, Caterina's love has fallen out of love with her, and her and the wind are in agreement about how sad this is. There's a lot of poetic imagery here, all about how their loved seemed constant as the moon, but is left Ending in a strange, mournful tune. It's again very dramatic and lavish.

Still, you get the sense that this song is less about the specific lyrics and more about the spectacle of it all, hence a break in the middle of it all where Caterina just goes ham on a load of "ooooooooh" notes, singing spectrally high and sliding between the notes in a particularly eerie, echoey way. It's not actually a far cry from the higher-pitched bits of Slim's song, so perhaps high notes were just the thing, this week.

When I mentioned Eurovision, I didn't really expect too much, but genuinely, I reckon this could do reasonably well as a modern Eurovision song, with only a few updates to suit it to modern tastes. And to be fair, the song was originally a massive hit, by the look of things, and was covered by a bunch of people. The internation flavour maybe also comes from its origins - originally a song from Cuban composter Ernesto Lecuona's Suite Andalucía, it was both Latin-influenced and had some deliberate Andalucian vibes, though it was an American who adapted the originally Spanish lyrics into English. So there's that classic Eurovision mix, you know?

Well, neither of those songs were boring. I'm not 100% I liked either of them, but they sure weren't boring, and despite being entirely different songs, they did share a bit of a vibe, with the high-pitched singing and the attempts at an "exotic" kind of style.

Favourite song of the bunch: The Breeze and I

[nhrkythoughts]

B-E-A-U-T-Y

When I was a child, I saw people using the standards of beauty as fair complexion and non fair complexion to measure goodness of character, observed it more in my peers. Or maybe at such age,children take their parents view of things as their own(most of the time).

Then there was teenage where I was not the expected standard complexion due to summer swimming classes lol and did not attention much attention from boys .Well not that I cared,but certainly was curious to know how it felt to be a standard pretty.Bought and used a lot of makeup and actually enjoyed it.

Maa refused to allow me swimming next summer.Took me to cosmetic stores and bought me whitening cosmetics.This time,I was not okay with it.I would have rather spent that money on some girly novel I wanted.

On the brighter side,there is my dad, obviously, am a daddy's little princess.I have been victim of being his model to his photography , secret candid (which are societally ugly ) photos he takes of me.He accepts my beauty when I raise my voice against him,sees beauty in my tears,care and frustration. After all,how can he not? I have inherited his crazy facial expressions.I have lived with my younger brother for 16 years and I do not know what his beauty opinion of me is.What matters is he loves me and that he choose to share that opinion with me.

I have been on both the sides.I have seen how I was advantaged when perceived as beauty and how I was disadvantaged when I wasn't

How in one school in one grade,I was just a regular face among boys and how in other school other grade,every boy wanted to be with me. I was lucky that all the sets of girlfriends in my life found and find me beautiful inside and out.

Society! Ahhh….When any familiar member of society(Indian of course) meets you after a long time, you receive a mandatory comment on your physical appearance is very critically analyzed whereas 'how are you' is asked for formality. Good to not experience it much these days.

Somewhere, I jumped from society perspective of beauty to more logical, scientific and happy one.

I am at a stage where question of my beauty self doesn't cross my too often. After several busy days,when I look at myself in mirror,I go…' Damn,It's been a long time I saw my face' Then my face assessment is based more on my emotional mood of face rather than beauty.

I find my beauty in my raw existence… tangible or intangible.So, no brightening skin creams, no talc,never waxed or will,never threaded eyebrows or will.And no validation from any other human being is needed.My twisted mind dreams of receiving guinness world record for body hair someday.

I am in love with my face coz it is capable of making millions of expressions. It is fascinating to see the faces of my parents in mine.I am capable of choosing beautiful or ugly….inside or out

I reject being perceived as externally beautiful and not internally beautiful.I reject being perceived as internally beautiful and not externally beautiful.

But now, Maa still nags me to put effort in getting fairer complextion,so many failed attempts to get me into expensive meaningless parlour dependence for beauty.People continue to give me free advice on getting fair. Their intentions ain't bad though, mostly based on social opinion. Everyone is entitled to their opinion no? It's my choice to let their opinions form mine or not.

Face is just a natural dress on skull for the purpose of identification by other faces,the standard beauty is bound to fade away with time.

Isn't is beautiful phenomenon that every face is unique and is a product of millions of dna updates? That's an ineffable beauty .Yeah,yeah….One might argue,there are at least 7 faces like yours.Well,it's not so often you come across more than 1 of them, Do you?( Yaar…. Look alike twins are also pretty rare :p..Ayyoo! No Kodinhi plis)

Beauty of the inside? I am deep sonderer. so you are, by default of your unique life journey are beautiful….good beautiful or bad beautiful.

Real genuine smile makes anybody beautiful.Highest form of beauty is self-obsessed and selfless love, positive mind,non judgemental heart-all in one soul!

Time gives you more time to you to see my beautiful or ugly face and less time for me to see myself.How you deal with it is none of my business.

Make yourself feel beautiful, be it make up,no make up, following societal standards or not…. anyway which would make you feel beautiful.Obviously,only if you feel the need to feel beautiful.Like life goes up and down…beauty also goes up and down.That's the beauty.

What's most beautiful? The Sky!

PS.My nose is prettier than yours 😜

-Demonic Angel Beauty

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Hum (Anand, 1991)

This review contains mild spoilers.

While I hadn't seen this before, I'd listened to this song from the movie countless times. (For those not familiar with Bollywood, most movies are not only musicals but often marketed on the basis of the songs, which in a lot of cases are more popular than the movies themselves.) Now, between the fact that I don't speak Hindi and the fact that seeing it outside the movie, I wasn't able to properly contextualize what exactly was going on. But seeing it within the movie, where it's introduced by a character saying all the dockworkers are going to see the hero kiss his girlfriend, and the thrusting motions in the choreography, it, uh, plays a little differently. To be fair, the dockworkers are very poor, so this is their only source of enjoyment. This is also easily the best musical number in the movie, so it understandably returns to it whenever possibly, through an assortment of flashbacks and reprises.

The narrative surrounding this scene is that there's a mobster played by Danny Denzongpa who keeps the dockworkers poor and stops them presumably from unionizing, so it's up to Amitabh Bachchan as the coolest of the dockworkers to stand up to him and take care of everybody. There's also a union leader / labour activist type who is given no personality types other than being righteous, so his scenes are a total drag, but thankfully he has a foxy sister (the girlfriend from the aforementioned musical number), so it evens out. But this story of dockworkers versus their criminal bosses sounds like enough material for a movie, and Bachchan and Denzongpa are both great screen presences and Mukul S. Anand shoots this in a similarly grandiose style as his Agneepath from the previous year, so there's plenty to enjoy.

However, this really only makes up the first hour of the movie, which then jumps forward a few decades so that Bachchan can grow up to his actual age instead of the supposed twenty-something he was in the first act (and grow an awful teenstache to boot, on top of becoming a wet blanket as he decries the use of violence with some regularity), for his brothers who were literal children in the first act to grow up into Rajinikanth and Govinda, for Denzongpa to get out of prison and stomp around in his tattered suit which he never changes out of, and for the crooked police inspector played by Anupam Kher (who has a lookalike sidekick) to become a crooked government contractor looking to sell defective tanks to the Indian army. Also there's a general and a starving actor both played by Kader Khan, the former of whom Bachchan tries to impress by doing an awful British accent and the latter who replaces the former as part of Kher's scheme. And the foxy girlfriend played by Kimi Katkar is now a famous actress. And a disgraced soldier named Captain Zatack who likes to attack.

In case you're wondering, none of this hangs together, although there's usually enough happening to keep you entertained. Apparently Agneepath flopped while this was a massive hit, and I have to assume audiences preferred the buffet approach to this one's pleasures as well as it's overall lighter tone, even the grimness and relative singlemindedness are what appealed to me about the other movie. This is a lot less action-heavy than Agneepath, although Anand shoots what's there for maximum impact (lots of slow motion, and those low angles and crane shots, plus at least one memorable stunt). And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the scene in the disco where Rajinikanth and Govinda, the latter dressed like Crocodile Dundee, beat the shit out of Captain Zatack and his goons while Prince's "Batdance" plays on the soundtrack. In case you're wondering, it's Rajinikanth who mouths "Get the funk up!"

[majo-yyy]

uh,,, hello It's been a while since I posted anything here, right, nothing more fair than me coming back with a post about my hyperfixation i guess so IT’S DESI!RAVEN TIME! (long post sorry) After all, for Raven have Indian descent it is necessary for at least one of her parents to be, and as her father is a literal four-eyed red intergalactic demon, this role is left for our dear Arella! Congratulations honey!  💘 I've been picturing Arella with a darker skin tone, like people from southern India. Black hair, of course, but much curlier than her daughter's. and blue eyes, like the character has in the comics. I liked this composition that I got here. I tried to give mother and daughter the same gaze. I won't go further that part too much now, but in my HC, Azarath is also a dimension initially formed by a group of desi culture that changed over time, but the bases remain the same (that's why Raven is so familiar with the culture even without having been on earth before meeting the titans), thinking about it, i decided to find a middle ground between arella's headpiece and a matha patti, but in the end it was just a poorly made matha patti because by then i was tired of drawing. I swear that when I make an "official" drawing I'll work on it more

As for Raven, I wanted to make her skin lighter and paler than her mother's. Lighter cause technically Raven is mixed, the human form Trigon used during her conception was that of a white caucasian male, so it makes sense for her to have lighter skin (or am I making this up?) 

ugly ass bitch And paler because this girl has never seen a ray of sunshine in her life, she stays all day locked in her room meditating. So I put a grayish pallor in a light brown tone (but none of that horrible gray skin from the current cartoon and comics, please, I have good taste) I was going to make her eyes blue like Arella's, but I'm very attached to the lilac-eyed Raven, it suits her so much! Two things the post-TNTT comics gave her that I can't let go of: her eyes and those little horns on her eyebrows. Ok, I think that's all I had to say, this drawing I did just to test the skin tones, so it's not that pretty, but I liked the final result and I enjoyed doing it, I discovered a cool way to paint skin! :) Thoughts? opinions? Claims? You can send! I love reading your comments, I keep going to each blog to see the tags you put in  🤭🤭🤭 And I was very happy to see that some real desi people liked the drawing! Means a lot to me! If I am ever disrespectful, please correct me. I'm just an admirer of the culture and I try to research as much as possible before posting anything, but if I happen to offend someone, let me know. Byee, see y’all in the next six months probaly lol 

[writingwithcolor]

Announcement: No Longer Answering Rubber Stamp Questions

Introduction

Here at Writing With Color, we’ve noticed a shift in the questions we are receiving. In the past, the majority of questions challenged the necessity of diversity in fiction or asked for assistance in making diversity seem more plausible in world-building. We also received many questions on how to describe and characterize people of color in respectful ways that didn’t demonize different races, ethnicities and religions.

By and large, we see that our followers understand why these concepts are important, and for that we congratulate you! This kind of progress takes real, long-term, internal work. Our team hopes that any advice or input you received from us over the years has helped you continue to develop as a writer. We hope you will continue to support us in the future and are especially pleased to hear from our non-white commenters who have let us know when our content has let them feel seen or heard.

However…

We have noticed a recent trend in asks that is discouraging. Many askers seem concerned with receiving our blanket approval of a particular concept or character. These asks often don’t provide us with the direction and context crucial to providing advice from a race or ethnicity-based perspective. Examples include:

“I’m writing a character from [insert background] who has [insert traits]. Is this ok?”

“I’m creating a world where I have made [insert concept] the basis of my world-building. Is this allowed?”

Hi, I’m a [insert identity]. Is it problematic to have [concept/ character] in my story?

“I’m creating a [Race A] character with [these] traits, a [Ethnicity 1] character with [those] traits, a [Race B] character with [some other traits] and a [sex/ gender minority] character with a [different set of traits]. Is this combination offensive?

We call these questions rubber stamp questions. If this describes your question, there’s no need to feel bad. We realize that there was never an explicit explanation of this concept. In addition, our team is mindful of the changing demographics of tumblr that might make it mean we are receiving questions from a younger user-base are not yet familiar with many of the principles we outline on this website. However, on that note…

What is Rubber Stamping?

Rubber stamping refers to the practice of seeking an endorsement without questioning or seeking to alter the status quo. The purpose of Writing With Color is to be a focal point for discussion about diversity in writing rather than simply prescribe a series of corrective measures. Without knowing the asker’s intent (Which we can’t, since we aren’t mind readers), our moderators are not in a position to provide you with carte blanche for your writing concept in the name of all other non-white people. Yes, we have a certain level of skill and expertise on many of these topics, but we are not here to take on the burden of all PoC to approve your writing choices. Nor would it be fair to other PoC if you took our response as a reason to dismiss the perspectives of other PoC (An unfortunately common phenomenon).  

Bluntly, on the moderator end, these asks are also incredibly frustrating because they are vague and thus:

Time consuming

Labor intensive (mentally and emotionally)

The last example from the previous section (AKA “Laundry lists”) is particularly time consuming because multiple moderators must collaborate to produce an answer that boils down to each moderator saying, “I guess it depends??? *shrug*” but in slightly different ways.

Perhaps the biggest problem with rubber stamp asks is they feel (to us) like they are more about the asker’s desire for closure/ approval/ virtue signaling than a willingness to participate in the kind of education and discussion on diversity we are trying to foster on this blog.

To that effect: We will no longer be answering such questions.

(If you sent in such ask before this goes up on November 15th, 2020, a moderator may reach out to you individually to better address your inquiry as submitted.)

However: Don’t worry! We also are here to teach you how to makes these questions better!

Fixing Rubber Stamp questions:

1. Be specific.

Instead of Can I/ May I, try “How can I” or “When can I” or “What can I”?

Thus instead of: “I’m Christian. May I create a Jewish character seeking to become an actress in 1920s Hollywood?” —> “How do I, as a Christian, create a compelling Jewish character while being mindful of the interplay between my own intrinsic bias and historical accounts of prominent Jewish figures in early Hollywood?”Or, instead of: “I want to write a story about a modern day piracy in the East Indian Ocean, but with magic. Is this problematic? —> “Given the continuation of modern day piracy in the East Indian Ocean, what are some tropes I should avoid if I decide to go with a modern fantasy set in this region?”

2. Remember: The goal is improved understanding, not approval. Sometimes, you really just want to know *why* you can’t use a particular concept, and that curiosity is good! Questions that ask “Why?” in good faith are often how you can learn a lot about your own intrinsic biases and the limits of your own knowledge.

Thus, instead of: If I write about [controversial topic], am I a bad person? —> Why is it better for someone like me to not write about [controversial topic]?

This approach has the bonus effect of making us feel like you actually care about what we think.

3. Write your question as a draft: Edit your ask at least once or twice to provide as much information as possible while being concise. I’ve told this to college students before, but I can tell when a person wrote their assignment by the quality of the writing. Writing done late at night, when sleep deprived and without at least one edit contains extraneous information while not having a clear point.

Going through your question (Preferably a day after you wrote it) will help you narrow down what you really want to know.

Remember: You all have free will and can write whatever you please. We presume that you seek WWC’s input because you wish to write on issues pertaining to people of color with greater levels of awareness. On a practical note, we recognize that social media, trolling, call-outs, doxxing and other dimensions of cyberbullying make writers online hesitant to do anything unless they think they have the majority of the public on their side. There are times when it is obvious that the asker is asking more because they need approval to feel less anxious when they share their work with others.

However, if the above is your worry, either you aren’t ready to write on this topic or you need to rethink the boundaries you set with the online communities/ individuals you interact with as well as how you manage your internet presence. With respect to personal anxieties when it comes to writing, morality, your conscience and so forth, we recommend turning to your own support systems IRL. As relative strangers on the internet, we are not well-qualified to allay personal concerns.

Remember: Writing with diversity is like training for a marathon. Give yourself permission to expand your comfort zone at the pace your research capabilities and experience allow!

We appreciate that you all trust us to provide helpful, well-thought out feedback for your ideas, and we also thank you for respecting our perspectives even if you may disagree. In the same vein, we request that you put the level of thought into your questions you think appropriate given that another human being is going to spend, at a minimum, several hours coming up with their response. We look forward to hearing from you! 

- The WWC Team

(A link to this article will be added to the pinned FAQ for everyone’s reference)

[brellhal96]

It’s... pretty complicated

Summary: College dramas in the life of a third-year student who decides to start, not a relationship, but something with a renowned professor.

Okay the GIF is not very related to the subject, but this man dressed in black has me at his feet.

Notes: This is quite cliché actually, but what does it matter, it is worth dreaming. It is planned to be written in several chapters, so the first is mostly to give context to the story, I hope you like it.

I base myself on Loki's physique, although I will mention Tom Hiddleston as the star of the scene, but my perfect image is in the essence of Loki in a black suit.

I study a completely different area to numbers and physics, don't be rigorous with me on the subject, only I think it an excellent area to show Loki's personality, I do not know why.

I will show at the beginning of the series a somewhat possessive relationship, but with the outcome I promise to shape this. It should be noted that not in a toxic sense.

I didn't mention a specific university, country, or geographic location.ical location.

It's the first time I've written anything obscene, I hope you like it.

Precautions: 18+, mention of fear or anxiety, unprotected sex, a relationship at the beginning somewhat possessive.

CHAPTER 1

I NEVER SAID I WASN'T INTERESTED.

Notes: Okay this chapter is kind of weird honestly, I didn't really put so much emphasis on the obscene, but I feel like it ended up fine, I hope you like it.

Word count: 6389

You had gotten used to the hot weather of the beginning of the year, in fact you had always preferred that climate. You spent the summer with your parents on a beach, sometimes you missed them too much, but your father's job and the university of your dreams were right at the opposite ends of the country. The first year was quite complicated, but then you got used to living alone, you actually lived two blocks from campus so your bike was the perfect means of transportation.

You made some friends here, Jared had become your best friend, his bond of trust scared you a bit as you could tell him anything without fear, but it was quite comforting to have someone like that by your side.

You had earned a scholarship for academic excellence, your studies were your priority since you were a child and you loved that. The only unpleasant thing about this scholarship is that it restricted your choice of teachers in half of your subjects since you were supposed to be with “teachers of excellence”.

When you compared your subject strip to Jared and Diane, they only shared one class the three of them together, Diane another, and Jared two more. In the end you weren't going to be alone in all the classes so that calmed you a little, studying physics wasn't so complicated, it was easy for you, but socializing wasn't much for you.

You went to building C, your first class was analytical mechanics and later thermodynamics, the teacher in the second was assigned to you by the institute, a Doctor Hiddleston, you've never heard of him, you just hoped it wasn't a headache. Your mechanics teacher was a love and with the first class you knew it was going to be one of your favorite subjects.

When you finished you went to your other class, you sat right in the middle in the third row, several were in groups apparently with their friends from previous years. You took your computer and got ready to take notes. Suddenly the door closed tightly and everyone sat a little scared.

A very good-looking man came in, tall, thin and dressed completely in black, I honestly he caused you curiosity why for some reason you felt that you had seen him before.

Without seeing the class began to write on the board quickly "I am Professor Tom Hiddleston and I will teach the subject of Thermodynamics" His voice was strong and deep and you immediately recognized it. You frowned when you remembered last year's science fair, you won first place in the area of electromagnetism prototypes against a fourth-year kid, which made you feel completely proud, yet two of the judges had not been what we call nice to the two.

When you remembered Professor Hiddleston's deep look at you that day, the judges asked random questions to the fourth-year kid and you, but apparently your future thermodynamics teacher was one of those who enjoyed making students nervous with difficult questions. His sidekick on that occasion was your freshman professor, analytic geometry, Professor Scott Lawford a fucking genius, you had cried with his subject, but passed with an A +.

They both enjoyed seeing the nerves invading you and your opponent, whispering to each other with their answers. At one point Professor Hiddleston asked you and you remember perfectly well that when you finished speaking he only looked at you and smiled mockingly for then wrote something on his ballot. In the end you won by three points of the total vote and the fourth year boy, currently fifth, became your friend, both came to the same conclusion, the two teachers were crazy.

He began to write down on the board the evaluation and the issues that are always mentioned at the beginning of the year. For a moment you panicked when he wrote that one of the exams was oral, you could not imagine the martyrdom he would create just to get a passing grade.

He took 20 minutes to explain and let us out to start the next class with the course. When you came out unintentionally you stared at him while he was erasing the blackboard, but apparently your look was uncomfortable enough for him that for a second he turn and he stared at you, you rushed out of the classroom after that. When you told Jared about this future journey that you had to go through you felt immense despair, but then you remembered that, if you could the previous years with teachers equal or worse to him, this was only one step more.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first three weeks of class were pretty normal, you made two more friends and breakfast in the cafeteria with Jared and Diane made you forget about the pressures of school, but just the moment you felt like you were fitting in perfectly with your new year, the thermodynamics class became strange.

The classes with Tom were very pleasant, he was kinder than his body language showed, only he was certainly of a very volatile character, there were days when he seemed angry and others when he seemed happy, it was weird, but it was even weirder that you were attracted to him.

Your previous class had lasted longer than expected and the teacher extended 5 minutes out of her time which translates into being late for thermodynamics. You panicked when you saw the locked door of the classroom, wondered if it was better not to enter the class and pretend a headache straight to the infirmary, but in the end you breathed for a second and you'd decided get ready to knock the door.

“Can I help you with something?"You had never noticed that he was quite tall, it was the first time you were quite close to him.

"Sorry my mechanics teacher accidentally spread...”

"You were able to leave her class to get to mine on time, don't you think?"His gaze was quite penetrating up close.

“I really sorry, won't happen again,” Your hands were shaking, but in reality, not for fear, but his presence so formal, so rigid and secure made you feel strangely attracted to him, when you thought that, you actually invaded the shame, how do you fall in love of a teacher as strange as him.

He just opened the door and walked aside to let you through. "I asked them to work in pairs, look for your partner and ask him to explain what I already explain”

On the board were written several formulas, you wondered how he managed in 7 minutes to score so much.

You asked several guys over there, but apparently the whole damn world already had a partner, in the end you decided to do it alone, you just hoped he wouldn't flunk you for it. A girl explained the instructions to you, apparently you had to pick up one of the sheets that the professor had placed on the desk and solve it with the formulas on the blackboard, you even had to sit up to the top rows because all the other seats were occupied.

You started cursing internally while taking one of the paper sheets from the desk. "Who are you going to work with?"The professor asked you without seeing you while making notes with a rather nice pen of Indian ink.

"I'll do it alone, I already asked ... ”

"Don't you understand what couples are?"He interrupted you and this time he gave you a rather intimidating gaze.

"Yes, but apparently all my companions already have one and I figured I could do it alone then" Your hands trembled again with the paper sheet between them.

"Who doesn't have a partner?"he looked back at his papers and yelled at the whole group. It was pretty funny for you because he himself proved you were right, no one was missing a partner. When he looked up and saw that no one answered he saw you again and then looked at the blackboard behind his back.

"Well, I'll do it with you then" He got up and brought a chair that was at the end of the living room for you right next to his desk.

For a moment you wanted to run out of there, you knew you shouldn't make a mistake or say something stupid because otherwise you'd die trying.

"Get your stuff and start working it out, just let me finish a few things. To be fair with your colleagues and with you I will let you do it alone and answer any doubts you have, because obviously I know how this is solved, but I also consider that it is a lot of work for one person, do you agree?" His gaze became a little kinder.

"Yes, thank you,” you smiled faintly, but felt an internal shock as he winked at you and continued to write with his fine pen. You sat right in the corner of his desk, they were just three problems but they really left you with little desire to live. The first one, you felt was quite easy to solve, even at one point you felt the professor's gaze on you when you were so focused on your operations.

"Don't you have any doubts?"His eyebrows were puckered and his gaze was no longer mocking but rather with bona fide interests.

"No, not really, well I go in the second exercise, possibly I do" You smiled as you watched your operations with inner pride.

"Can I see?"He extended his hand to give him the leaves you had carried until then. You gave them to him, just hoping he'd tell you you had everything terribly wrong.

As he watched your leaves you watched him, he was quite attractive now that you saw him without fear that he would not let you into class, his hair was dark and apparently a lover of black to wear, his eyes were cute and quite tender while they examined your answers.

"Go on, I don't want to confuse you” He put the paper sheets on the desk and saw you with a small smile on your lips as a sign that you were on the right track.

Just 10 minutes before the class ended you finished all three exercises, you had only asked him one question and it was about whether it was a 4 or a 9 in a formula that wrote the board, so you felt pretty happy that you did it alone.

"Ready" You smiled broadly, you were the first to finish and the only one who had done it alone.

"Are you sure?”

"Yeah, well, I hope it's not a 0 at the end of the day,” you laughed to yourself, and in the end you wondered if you had thought about it or said it.

”Then let's see " took his pen and began to review your work. You froze when you saw that he framed something in your results, but he didn't tell you anything. "Well, I really didn't expect less from the winner of last year's science fair, maybe punctuality, but what does it matter”

You smiled when you saw that your grade was an A, only that he kept the papers, apparently he had to register them on his lists or something. Just as you were about to get up to leave, he asked you to stay at the end of class.

You sat back in the seats vacated by the peers that have already gone, but for a second, remembered what you said I didn't expected less from the winner of the science fair last year, he remembered you, you know that he remembered you, sonreíste for yourself when thinking that.

When the whole room was half empty, he started putting away his things. ”Come with me, " he said as he walked out with a firm and fast pace, so much so that you had to walk faster than normal. You wondered where they were going, it was pretty strange since you'd never been through the labs where it went.

“I've noticed that you're pretty good in the area, actually amazing, I even remember your answers about your prototype against the fourth year kid, former student of mine, you were much better than his” he opened the door of one of the labs and with his arm gave you a signal to enter.

“Thank you, I actually always dreamed of doing this, " you said as you walked into the lab, quite big, you assumed they were the ones that grad boys used.

"I want to propose you something” You sat at one of the practice tables and he leaned with both hands on his desk. "Would you like to work with me on a project I have?, is related to thermodynamics”

For a second you saw him with an expression of if he was joking with you or if he was serious and he seemed to read your mind.

"It's seriously, I'm working on a model related to the second law" he approached you sitting in the chair in front of yours.

"I would love to then, but I do not know how I could be of help”

"In many things" he smiled

For a moment you wondered why suddenly the man who seemed bitter about life was being so kind to you.

“You do not have to tell me your answer now, I will send you the files I have of my progress by mail if you like and you could think about it”

"Sure, I will" You smiled and he too, for a moment everything was silent, somewhat uncomfortable to be honest but his look no longer caused you fear, but somehow attracted you to him.

It was quite strange because they both got up at the same time so you were right next to him and his height difference was no small one.

"Well I think I have to go, I'll see you the next class”

"Wait, I wanted to give you something that I kept here," he went to the back cellar of the lab and came back with a bun that said first place. "I'm sorry, I was supposed to give it to you that day you won, but I honestly didn't remember where I left it, so this belongs to you.”

When you saw the bun with your name on it, you were very happy. "I thought they didn't give anything," you laughed as you put it in your backpack.

"Yeah, excuse me, I tend to be a little clueless about those things.”

"No problem," you smiled and shyly walked out of the room.

The weekend you started to question why Professor Hiddleston made you feel so nervous, now you knew that you were one of his star students, to the degree that you could be his future colleague, but why couldn't you even hold his gaze? you know, for a moment you thought about flatly refusing his project if you couldn't even see it in the eyes, but after you thought about it, you figured it would possibly be a good idea, you could even learn more things by being his apprentice.

It was Monday's class, you didn't know why, but you were in the lab on Friday, apparently you were doing an experiment on the tables with some microscopes on. ”You did it " There was Professor Hiddleston next to you, his command was on your waist and suddenly he began to approach you to kiss you on the lips and it was even stranger because it was quite nice for you, to reciprocate.

Right then you woke up, you're fucking in love with your thermodynamics professor, "Excellent Y / N, that's all that was missing."

Monday's class didn't even look him in the eye and you sat up to the top rows, you felt pretty uncomfortable with yourself thinking of a teacher that way.

"Y / N wait" Just when class ended you rushed to pack your things and run out of the classroom, but it still didn't work. "Did you think about what I told you?"The professor actually looked pretty excited about his own project.

"Yes, I just wondered if the meetings or the times we work could be on Fridays, that would make things a lot easier for me" You said without seeing the professor in the eyes, it was somewhat uncomfortable after that strange dream of the weekend.

"Sure, then it's a deal,” he held out his hand as if they were going to close the deal with a strong squeeze.

"Deal" You shook his hand and when you saw him you felt that his look was not only kind, but he was actually trying to tell you something.

The classes went on normally, you felt a little excited being sincere that you went to work with the professor who was now at the same time your impossible love, but you had to be careful for him not to notice. They agreed to meet after your last class at the lab on Fridays, at 15:00 hours. You knew it wasn't right, but from the moment you were attracted to the professor every time you saw him, you started using lip gloss and curling your hair.

For several weeks they worked on their project, now you understood their sudden mood swings, it was quite frustrating to feel that you had advanced in something and then realized that something did not fit with the rest of the procedure.

One Friday when you arrived he was making notes on the blackboard, had taken off his coat and tie and folded the sleeves of his shirt in a way that looked spectacularly attractive.

"Y / N pass," he smiled when he saw you in the driveway. "Did you read the documents I sent you?"On Wednesday he sent you a very interesting document about some theories related to the project.

"Yes, I just made some notes from some parts that I honestly didn't understand" You left your backpack in one of the buckets at the ends of the room " I'm not very good at some things”

"Neither do I, but don't worry,” he winked at you and you felt like you were melting internally.

For an hour they tried to solve one of the most difficult equations within the theory they chose, it was quite fun as sometimes you would collapse and sometimes he, but both tried to cheer up so as not to erase the whole slate of despair.

”Ready," you said when you finally managed to solve the equation.

”You did it!" saw the board quite surprised and so did you. "Your boyfriend is lucky" For a second he himself kept quiet knowing that the last thing he said wasn't quite right.

"Boyfriend? that species is extinct within my social radar" You laughed trying to keep him from feeling uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." He saw you trying to analyze your expression.

"Well sometimes the unconscious makes us a bad move" You smiled broadly "besides I guess the lucky one is his girlfriend" you returned the same move trying to tempt the ground.

"It's also an extinct species to me," he smiled, but he avoid your gaze.

"Well, then we're free to go looking for it.”

"I thought you had a boyfriend," he said as he started writing the equation on the board on the computer.

"Why?"you sat at the desk, watching him write on the computer quite nervous.

"Nothing else" You knew he was lying to you.

"Nothing else?”

"Well you're a very cute and smart girl, I figured a lot of guys are interested in you.” He didn't even look you in the eye when he said that.

”I'm not really interested in anyone" You saw through the window as you answered" well, only in someone, but it's impossible” Oh God, now the unconscious had made the wrong move to you talking too much.

”Nothing is impossible" he looked up and seemed to know what you meant.

"Well, it's just that if I just had a sign I could know it's not impossible" You started fiddling with your wrist bracelet nervously.

"How what a sign?" he stopped writing and stood right in front of you, you were still sitting at the desk.

"I don't know" You felt the adrenaline start to accelerate your pulse as it approached you.

"A date, a kiss, or even invite you to work on a project?" He placed his hands on the edge of the desk rubbing your legs.

”Yes, that sounds good " Clearly you knew what he meant, his look and yours were fixed, you appreciated that the door was closed and it was the third level, the windows were facing nowhere, so no one could see what was happening.

"Well sometimes it is necessary that you also give signals, don't you think?" His gaze and yours really seemed to be completely fixed.

"Yeah, that sounds fair." You started breathing deeper.

Slowly, he tempting the ground, began to approach, for a moment you knew that this was not right, that it was not right, but fuck, your body wanted it as you have no idea. Slowly he started to kiss you, he was nice and actually a very good kisser, then he started to get a little rougher, but both you and he knew you wanted him, his arm held your hip and your hands hugged his neck holding on to him.

"Dr. Hiddleston, I bring the copies you ordered." Someone knocked on the door and immediately the feeling of running out overwhelmed you.

"Sure, I'm coming" saw you and he wiped the lip gloss you had left on him. You packed your stuff fast and when I was going to close the door again you walked out without seeing him in the face.

"Until Monday" You started walking fast.

"Y / N wait" was the last thing you heard when you started going down the stairs two at a time.

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You, Diane and Jared planned to go out that weekend, you weren't feeling well, but you also didn't want to leave them after you had planned this for days.

"Hey, you look pale," Jared saw you worried as they waited for food at the mall.

"Do you feel well Y/N?" Diane picked up a lock of your hair as you looked at nothingness.

”I'm a little worried," you said looking at the table now  "Can I ask for some advice?”

”You know you can Y/N" Jared saw you even more worried.

"What should I do if I like someone I shouldn't like?" Dress up Jared.

"Does he have a girlfriend or is he a fuck boy?" Diane asked pretty quickly.

"None, it's just...”

”Then I see no reason why you shouldn't like it."

”It's not that, but, he's like, I don't know how to say this" You didn't want to tell them that he was your thermodynamics professor, you would never actually do it. "I met him some time ago in the cinema, he's cute and kind to me, but he's older than me” you lied a little about it.

"How much are we talking about?”

"14 years, I think" you've never actually asked him about his age, but on one occasion while you were typing on his computer you saw his college professor card that had all his data on it by the way.

”Look at that, my best friend a whole league men" Diane actually got excited, started asking you what he was like and if you had already had something with him which was pretty strange, but Jared's expression wasn't really emotional.

"I can only tell you to be very careful Y/N" Jared took your hand " Do not let the pretty words lead you down a path other than the one you seek. And well, if he like you and you like him, I see no problem”

The weekend you thought about the kiss his gave, it was quite nice really nice, you had only had three boyfriends before and honestly their kiss had been better than all the previous ones. The problem was what were you going to do on Monday when you see him? Well that day you decided to wear a pink dress that your mother given you at Christmas, you never wore this type of clothes so it was going to be something quite new, you combed your hair differently even, you knew that if you were at least going to talk to him and he told you that it was a mistake he would miss something great.

Your legs started shaking when you walked into the classsroom, you sat as usual in the third row, Tom wasn't there yet, so that calmed you down a little more. You noticed that in this class you had not made friends, so to avoid the panic of seeing him in the eyes when he entered in the classroom you preferred to start talking to the girl who always sat next to you.

"He took a while, didn't it?" you smiled so you didn't look crazy.

"Yes something, but for me no problem" the girl smiled as well

"My name is Y / N, and you?”

"Meghan, you're going with the teacher Fox in relativity, aren't you?”

"Yeah, you too?”

"No but my boyfriend does, I've seen you come out of there when I expect it”

"Well, I don't really know many people.”

"Well, college is exhausting," they both smiled, actually Meghan seemed like a pretty nice girl.

"Speaking of the king of Rome, he's arrive." When she said that and you heard the door shut, fear invaded you, so you didn't look at him. You just focused on your computer monitor, but you knew he saw you.

The class felt as if it had lasted 20 minutes and not an hour and a half, the desire to leave was enough.

"Hey if you want we could have breakfast together today, apparently you don't have class now either, do you?" Meghan waited for you to put your things away.

"Of course I would love to and no, I don't have class” You fully appreciated that Meghan will not leave you in the classroom, without looking at Tom you went out with your new friend, you felt that had been a bit cruel, but the nerves were worse.

At the end of the day you didn't do anything about it and neither did Wednesday and apparently Tom wasn't interested in asking you to stay and talk either, or so it seemed.

On Friday you returned to the usual routine with the usual clothes and hairstyle, honestly you no longer felt in the mood to waste time on those things. The class went on normally until at one point you crossed eyes with him, it was a bit strange, but you pretended you didn't care and ignored him after a few seconds. At the same time in the classes you talked with Meghan, even going out to eat the cafeteria.

"Y/N can we talk for a second?"Back to being alone with him in the classroom at the end, Meghan said goodbye and whispered you in your ear that she will waiting for you in the cafeteria.

"Hey I didn't want to overdo you, let alone bother you, I apologize for it and also if you no longer want to work on the project I will fully understand it” His face seemed that he was really sorry about last week.

"I really don't know what to say." You were completely honest.

"I'm sorry I should have known that you're not interested in me at all and it's okay”

"I never said I wasn't interested”

He calmly checked the hallway and closed the classroom door

"You ran away, that tells me otherwise”

"Yes, but that's was I panicked, I didn't want to bother you”

"For God's sake, that doesn't matter anymore.”

"It does matter and quite”

"You want to talk about this then?”

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner”

"So am I, excuse me too” he hesitated for a second when he finally asked," Do you want to continue with the project?”

"Of course I do" You got a little closer to him.

"See you at 15: 00 then" He too approached and carefully kissed your hand to leave the classroom.

This time you arrived early, your teacher had let them out forty minutes earlier, so you decided to be somewhat punctual to your appointment. You read while you waited sitting on the chairs in the hallway, when you saw him come you smiled and he when saw you, smiled too.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you were going to arrive so early” he closed the door carefully and just as he turned around you gave him a pretty long kiss and he reciprocated broadly.

"I'm sorry" You saw that he was actually happy about it "I think last time we couldn't finish it"

He held your face in his hands for a few seconds "I like you Y/N, I know what's not right, I know this not right, but fuck, I like you a lot”

”And you me" He kissed you again, this time a little rough, it seemed that he wanted to make his statement clear. ”I really wanted to kiss you in front of everybody on Monday in that cute dress."

"If you like it I can bring it more days," you winked.

After that day working on the project was much more fun, and even in the classes they shared gazes from time to time, it felt good, had passed enough time that you did not date someone. On the other hand, sometimes fear invaded you, you knew that if anyone found out about whatever it was you and Tom had, it was the end of your scholarship and even your college life.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you like lobster?"He asked you while making notes on the computer and you cleaned the board.

"I've never eaten it"

“What? How can you live without eating lobster in your life?" He came up to you and, holding you by the waist, turned you towards him.

"Well, we're not all millionaires so I can't buy lobster." You inadvertently smeared chalk in his hair when you touched him.

"Then I'll buy you lobster dinner. What do you say?" He caressed your face as he waited for your answer

"Mmmm, when?”

"Tomorrow, I'd wait a few blocks from here, you don't want anyone to see you getting in my car, do you?”

"I'd love for them to, but yes, send me the instructions and I'll see you there then.”

"Why would you love it?"He kissed your neck calmly.

"That they might see that you are mine" You smiled mockingly.

"Well, I mean you're mine too, so it would be a fair deal.”

For weeks now both were texting, it was interesting to see that teachers also have a life apart from teaching.

You dressed up, not so formal or so casual for the occasion, it was the first date you had, it felt a little strange, you wore on a low-cut black dress, something daring for your tastes, but it was the most suitable thing you found. When you arrived at the rendezvous point, you immediately identified his car.

“I can't believe how perfect you are, " he gave you a sweet kiss while you fixed your skirt so it wouldn't wrinkle. He came as always very formal.

The dinner was perfect, you did not know that the lobster tasted that way, you liked it a lot, the place was beautiful, the waiters very attentive and well, talking with Tom about things that were not thermodynamics was pleasant. In the end he invited you to his apartment, which you sincerely hoped was not just with the intention of kissing you.

When they arrived his apartment looked like a palace, it was very nice, very cozy, his kitchen was comfortable enough to cook anything, your apartment was too small for a kitchen like him.

He told you that he should make some calls, that you could explore the house if you wanted and you took his word, it was very nice place, in the hallway to the bedroom had his medals and recognitions, you did not know that he studied chemistry too, he's a genius. When you finished walking, you looked in the fridge for something to drink.

"Want some wine?"Because of its height it was much easier to reach the shelves above where it seemed to have the bottles of wine.

”I would love to"

He served two glasses in half, it was red wine with a very good smell, you knew it because your father was a wine lover, so much so that he had even taken you to vineyards to see how they did it.

"May I?"You asked, pointing out if you could play something on the record player in the room.

“Clear”

When yo put the pen on the record a fairly quiet song began to play, he took the cup out of your hand and put it on the ledge next to his, placed his hand on your waist and with the other he held your hand, you placed yours on his neck.

“Would you laugh if I told you it's the first time I've danced with someone? well, that someone who is not my father invites me to dance”

"Really?”

"Yeah, well I had a boyfriend that I took out to dance, that's why it doesn't count,” you laughed as you remembered that.

"Well, what an idiot, you are beautiful Y/N and I will dance with you as many times as possible”

You felt a lot of peace in his arms, he was much stronger than you, that was clear, but even just seeing him in the eyes you felt that everything was going to be okay. You weren't very good at dancing, but he gave you the confidence to even make a mistake.

For a moment he began to kiss you slowly, slowly while the music echoed to both of us, then he began to kiss your neck which in a way tickled you, but at the same time made you want it with all your soul. After a few seconds as his hands ran through your hips and yours his hair whispered into his ear: "Take me to the bedroom" you stared at him and he understood completely.

He carried you so easily that it seemed that you did not weigh anything, carefully put you in bed and wait for you reaction.

"For God's sake, I want to make you mine from the moment I saw you at that fucking science fair contest.”

"Well now is your time" You bit your lip slightly.

He knew you were too small in comparison to him, so he was very careful when touch you, first he started by your dress, very slowly unbuttoning it. He look you in your underwear the moment he managed to take it off you. On the other hand, you, in a somewhat desperate way, started to take off his belt.

"No, until I say so" Their gaze turned a bit dark, they could see the desire for each other in your eyes.

He started kissing your crotch carefully, you moaned slightly, you had no intimate contact with anyone for a long time, so you somehow didn't remember how glorious this feels. He kept kissing getting closer to your entrance, the heat began to flood your body, after walking your thighs he began to lick your entrance a little desperate, but at the same time touching the exact points to make you see stars. He put two fingers inside you and immediately your back curled, when he entered the third in you pulled his hair as you began to feel the heat in your stomach increase more and more.

”Tom, please, I'm almost there" you moaned as your eyesight began to blur completely.

His fingers began to move faster and for an instant you felt like the heat flooded your whole body, it was the first time that someone managed to make you come with oral sex. You pulled his hair back, but it didn't seem to bother him, even taking it as a way to know where or not to continue. Your legs clenched at the feeling and he proudly began to undress. When you saw it you felt that you really needed to have he inside you, his axis was quite large, more than you imagined and its well worked body made you feel needed.

"Fuck me like there's no tomorrow," you whispered as you recovered from the first round.

You felt the desire going between your legs, again you were so wet just to imagine he inside you.

"You know that if I hurt you or if you want me to stop I will do it immediately” He placed on you and spread your legs with his knee.

You just nodded, he was staring at you as he began to insert his shaft into you, it hurt a bit, tears started running down your cheeks and Tom's face looked worried, "Do you want me to stop?”

"No!" To drown the groans you hid your face on his shoulder as he began to take a rhythm in his onslaught, at one point the pain ceased and he took a stronger rhythm, one after another, you felt as your body began to attach quite well to its axis, to the degree that you glued more your hips to his, demanding more. When he noticed it one of his hands took the headboard and with the other placed one of your legs on his shoulder to give you what you needed. At some point he also started moaning, loud and deep, which made you feel even more excited in the middle of it all.

”Fuck, why are you so perfect?" he whispered into your ear as you began to feel your orgasm was about to bloom.

"Make me yours, only yours" you moaned almost without strength.

"You are only mine" His onslaught, although it seemed that you could not, began to be faster and deeper, you knew that sitting was going to be a challenge for you in the following days.

To drown your groans he gave you a very deep kiss, his tongue did all the work in the kiss, honestly for you it was a sea of sensations that would end you unconscious of pleasure. Just as they both reached the climax he saw you in the eyes and felt you fade away in sobs and moans.

”I'm almost there" he said as he clung even more to you and your legs began to close with pleasure.

"Me too" Didn't know if you understood what you meant, but at least you were trying.

"Let me feel you" His words were your release and his, you felt the heat of his seed inside you and it was enough for your orgasm to reach the necessary point of feeling a deep warmth throughout your body. The veins on her neck were too marked and you could also feel her breathing so heavy as she enjoyed her release.

He was over you for several minutes, the only thing you could hear in the room was his busy, deep breaths. You hugged him fondly and he hugged you, when he came out of you you felt a pretty weird void, but fuck, it was the best sex you'd ever had in your life.

After his breaths managed to take a moderate course he saw you in the eyes as he groomed your hair carefully.

”I didn't want to be too brusque the first time" His hand caressed your stomach, internally you told yourself that if this was not brusque you didn't imagine the next time how sore you would end up, but it's something that really excited you, in every way.

"We'll have many more times to do it" You smiled and planted a kiss on his lips. "Many more" smiled in the middle of the kiss which made you adore him even more.

Thanks for readign me 

[giorno-plays-piano]

Lovers End Part 5

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, emotional abuse, threats, PTSD, minor depiction of violence, allusion to non-con, toxic reader and unhinged Bucky, death of minor characters.

Words: 1318.

Summary: Your marriage is falling apart, and you're done trying to save it when all your spineless husband does is crying at night when he thinks you can't hear him. Little do you know how horrifying Bucky can be.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

P.S. It's not me, it's magnificent @navegandoaciegas and her awesome ideas! Also inspired by TDDUP VN!

____________

Once you finished with the vacuum, you locked yourself in the bathroom with Bucky’s diary in your hands - it was the only place where you could bolt the door. Besides, he could hardly hear you crying from there.

His writing was becoming more and more chaotic: soon he had stopped keeping the dates, and all of it became some kind of never-ending essay about things he hated and feared. You could his mental health deteriorating with every page, and God, you were scared of him - and you pitied him, too. Sometimes you could spot your own name, and you cried when you read how much Bucky loved you. His feelings were gradually evolving into some kind of unhealthy obsession, but you were thankful they didn’t turn into intense hatred, considering the way you treated him up until now.

Reading about you tormenting your husband was something entirely different if you compared it with your own memories - or a lack of those - but the more you read, the more horrified with your actions you became. How did it happen? When did you turn from a supporting wife into a cruel fury ready to tear apart the only person you loved? When did you reach the point of no return? You supposed it could have been that day in December, but Bucky wasn't at fault. Not directly, at least, you thought when you considered his negligence and you working like a horse.

Maybe that terrible thing was just destined to happen to you, anyway.

Regardless, that was no the reason to treat Bucky like that. You could have left a long time ago, realizing where all this had been going, and it would still be better than living how you two lived now. Now you could see the true horror of the situation and what would inevitably happen if you didn't do anything to end it: Bucky could pull the trigger any moment now.

The only option you saw was leaving. Of course, in an ideal world you could ask him to visit doctor Romanova and make him confess he wasn't really following her instructions, help him get back on track and try to recover, but you knew this wasn't going to happen. Not when Bucky had almost suffocated you and locked you in the house. Why would he listen to you now, after everything that happened between you? He'd rather think you are doing this just to get rid of him, so you doubted he'd do what you asked him to. Now there were two ways out - leave or die.

You prefered the first one even knowing Bucky was obsessed with you. You could at least try, couldn't you? In the end, you would finish with a bullet in your head if you did nothing at all to fix all this.

You still couldn't believe it was happening to you. Weren't you a really, really good couple before? You remembered your ex-coworkers envying you when Bucky was visiting the office, a bouquet of wild flowers in his hands. He had always been kind and understanding, gentle, loving, cheerful; the best husband you had ever wanted, that very same prince you had been dreaming about. You loved him to the point of leaving your mother, the only family you had, just because you wanted to be with him. Because of that you were desinherited, but you didn't care as long as Bucky was with you.

Huh, all of a sudden you remembered the times when he was in the hot spot while you waited for him at home, every day waking up with a thought somebody would call and tell you Bucky's dead. It was your worst nightmare because of which you were afraid to go to sleep every night. You prayed for him to return safely, and the day when you received a notice of him losing his left arm, you were hysterical to the point your boss had to send you to the hospital to get help.

Oh, how happy you were the day he came back. Crippled, lost, desperate, barely able to function because of his PTSD but alive. You wanted nothing as much but for your husband to come home to you. That's why, even though the company you worked for went bankrupt and you could find nothing better but being a cashier in a local food store, you were ready to do whatever it took to help Bucky get back on his feet.

Was it too much for you? Were you too weak to go through all this for him? Apparently, you were. With months of constant hard work, insomnia because of the constant night shifts, inability to put food on the table, you forgot why were you doing all this. You forgot how much you loved him and he loved you. It all turned to ashes.

Hiding the diary beneath your bed, you did your best to wipe the tears and make yourself a bit more presentable - now you saw how terrible you looked with those dark circles beneath your eyes and wrinkles, bad skin, prominent blood vessels along the inside of your eyes because constant crying... You were a young woman, still, but you felt like your body was falling to pieces. It couldn't continue like that.

"Bucky, I have to leave." You told him once you approached your husband in the living room still sitting on the couch in front of TV with a blank expression.

However, once he heard you, his face clenched up, "Did you not hear me the first time I said it? You’re going nowhere."

Trembling, you tried to pull yourself together and even sat on the couch, your palms on your knees.

"Bucky, we're not alright. Let's admit it. Things aren't going to come back to how they were before... this. We won't get better."

You swallowed nervously, not looking at him, but Bucky fell silent, waiting for you to continue. You were sure he wasn't insane to the point he didn't understand what was happening.

"Please, let me leave. You can have the house if you want to, I won't take anything. I... I'll be sending you half of my salary until you get yourself a job."

Huh, you probably wouldn't be able to rent your own place with what was left, but maybe you convince your boss to let you sleep in the back room. Hell, even sleeping under the bridge was better than being murdered by your own husband.

When you saw him crawling towards you, you held your breath, "T-this is fair! You can have whatever you want!"

But he didn't stop, and before you could jump off the couch and ran, Bucky was already on top of you, his metal hand grabbing both yours and pining them above your head.

"I want you." He shook his head, sitting on top of you, his flesh arm caressing the curves of your body. "Maybe you're right and we can't go back. But we can do better."

"Get off, Bucky!" You desperately tried pushing him away, but all you did was fueling his desire. "GET OFF!"

"Maybe you'll love me again if I put a baby in you." He exhaled, nuzzling against the crook of your neck, and you frozen in fear and disgust, you eyes wet again despite all your efforts. "And we'll be a real family again."

"NO!"

You didn't know where that power to throw your beefy husband off you came, but you were already up, back on your unsteady legs and ready to fight him even he was going to try suffocating you or breaking your neck. You weren't going to let Bucky do... this to you.

Oh God. You wanted to never let him know of what had happened on the 14th of December, but you had no choice now.

"I've already lost my baby. I'm not doing it again."

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@void-hoechlin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @iheartsebandchris @ninefuckingoneone

[whentheynameyoujoy]

So the ATLA Movie Is... Good, Actually?

Just kidding, of course it’s not, it’s so bad it sucked the paint off my walls. But after ten years of people pointing out its glaring flaws, why would anyone bother talking about this garbage heap if not to go the other direction? So here’s a very brief and very superficial list of things the movie does get kinda... not atrociously wrong.

And they won’t be fake hipster pokes, like “It’s fun to laugh at”, “The Rifftrax for this is OK”, or “Kudos to the actress for managing to say we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs with a straight face”.

(though now that I mentioned it, it is fun to laugh at, the Rifftrax for this is OK, and massive props indeed.)

Rasta Iroh

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the aesthetic of the real Iroh or that it makes no cultural sense for him to sport this do when no one else in the racebended Indian “OMFG what were you thinking Shyamalan” Nation does but goddamn, long-haired dudes are my one mortal weakness and I will ogle the hell out of him.

Jesus is that a man bun I see that’s it mum I’ve been deaded

Yue’s hair

No.

Now we’re talking. Yue’s hair turned white when the Moon spirit gave her life, so it makes sense for it to go black again when she sacrifices herself to revive the koi fish. It’s a neat detail I find myself expecting whenever I rewatch the scene in the show. Yes, I realize it’d be a pointless hassle to animate since she, unlike in the movie, immediately goes on to become the Moon herself but still. I like.

The Blue Spirit’s mop

Zuko, hun, what’s with the dance-off?

First of all, I want to imagine that Zuko the Theatre Nerd was about to leave his ship with just the mask like in the show but then stuck his head into the cleaning cupboard and went, “Yeah, more coverage might be good, even though it do seem mighty fried to shit”.

Which makes me giggle. I like to giggle.

And secondly, the hair’s movement is what makes the static mess of the Blue Spirit’s solo fight scene appear at least bit more dynamic because God knows the cinematography isn’t doing it.

Any particular reason why it’s at the edge of the action, shot all boring-like?

Now, I get why circular shots would be reserved for Aang while he’s in the practice area and then used once the two join forces. What I don’t get is why Aang’s part of the action scene has a defined visual style while Zuko’s delegated to a few stationary wide shots from afar as though he’s a tertiary goon, meaning that when the time comes to combine the respective pieces of cinema language and visually convey collaboration, there’s not really much to combine.

But as long as Zuko is stuck in this static mess, it’s that awesome disaster on his head flopping about that draws the eye, helping me understand that something even is going on over there.

It also prevents me from paying much attention to how the extras are mostly just staying put and a lot of the hits don’t land, so that’s good.

The music slaps

James Newton Howard is too good for this.

Pls ignore that the word “gods” is used in the ATLA universe

I can’t be the only one who constantly uses this piece to daydream about writing specific fanfic scenes instead of, you know, actually sitting down and writing them. It’s just so good at communicating a sense of sorrow while speaking of rebirth that I find myself getting misty-eyed whenever I listen to it. Unfailingly, the soundtrack as a whole manages to break through the mile-thick crust of horrible acting, confusing writing, and uninspired cinematography and make me feel things. And considering how everything on screen is working against it, that’s no small feat.

Imagine what a powerful experience it would be if the score was used in service of an actual movie.

Dev Patel

No wonder since he’s the only one in the film occupying that crucial intersection between “is a good actor” and “was given something to work with”. It also doesn’t hurt that he breaks with the trend of actors starring in martial arts flicks despite never having done any martial art.

And all EIP-jokes about “stiff and humorless” aside, he’s a pretty decent Zuko considering how abridged this version of the character is. A while ago, I remember hearing a reviewer say that with his comedic chops, Patel should have been cast as Sokka. And on one hand, yes, god, absolutely, I need to see that asap. But on the other? He captures all layers of Book 1!Zuko, the desperate obsession, rage, and self-loathing, and at the same time gives you a peek at the soft momma’s boy dork that’s buried underneath. For Christ sakes, he exudes intensity and ambivalence even when acting against an emotionless hunk of wood that’s giving him nothing in return.

Oh, and I guess there’s a tree in the frame.

Ba dum tss

What can I say, the guy’s good.

Showing vs telling

OK, so this movie is all tell and no show, except for one single moment. And it’s the exact moment where the original goes in the other direction in terms of how information is conveyed.

See, I never liked this. The revelation is preceded by Iroh giving advice to Zuko who scolds him for nagging. Iroh then apologizes, moves in to say the line above, and is interrupted by Zuko who seems rather uncomfortable with Iroh laying his feelings out like this. And once they’re out, Zuko verbally confirms that he knew already and Iroh didn’t need to bother.

All this extraneous information and pussyfooting ends up weakening what should be a profound scene that reveals to us, the viewers, how deep the relationship between these two in fact runs.

Compare to the movie where Dadroh acts like a parent by fussing and worrying, with Sonion needing a single look to tell him and us that he understands what it’s all really about.

It’s genuinely efficient and just good.

No Cataang

Fine, a bit mean-girl bitchy from me since I only start minding the ship in Book 3. And probably unintentional on the part of the creators since there are moments where I think they’re trying to set the romance up? There’s a, well, an attempt to recreate the famous introductory shot of fateful meaningful destiny of meaningness, there’s some slight note of saving each other’s bacon going on, I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones in the film who smile, and oh, right, Katara’s shoved into her post-canon useless role where she doesn’t ever do anything, and is all about Aang right from the get go.

Yes, I will blame the “executive producers” because a) I’m incredibly petty, and b) it’s perfectly in line with their vision of the character so why the hell not.

Hilariously, none of it reads on screen because the actors are just... yeah. These poor kids are struggling so much with delivering their own lines and portraying their own characters they don’t seem to have any strength left to create something between them. To be fair, the bare-bones shot-reverse shot style of their scenes doesn’t exactly lend itself to the idea they occupy the same universe, let alone are friends or each other’s crushes.

And I enjoy this immensely because it allows me to forget the depressing horror show Katara’s life turns into post ATLA.

Yes Zutara

I need to delve into this because it’s fucking hilarious. So in a movie which fails to establish the original’s central romance so spectacularly that if Aang got lost in a crowd I don’t believe Katara would notice, SomEOnE thought it’d be a good idea to add an utterly unnecessary non-canon moment where Zuko for some reason feels the need to pause his character-defining hunt for the Avatar which otherwise has him ignore everything and snap at everyone, and explain his central conflict to an unconscious peasant he doesn’t know, complete with gently pushing the hair from the pretty girl’s the soulmate’s the Water Tribe Ambassador’s the Fire Lady’s the love of his life’s her face away, AFTER his uncle nagged him twice to find a girl and settle down.

I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page and this is what we really saw.

Celibate Avatars

I have no idea why the decision was made, if TPTB thought expecting viewers to understand the story through the lens of Buddhism would be too much, or if the “executive producers” already worked their retconny magic. What I do know, however, is that there’s a big shift in worldbuilding and Aang’s struggle with his role as the Avatar stops being a personal conflict defined by a) his grief for Air Nomads, b) his notion of being robbed of the loved ones in his life, and c) the selfish attachment to Katara he confuses with true love. Instead, what he has a difficulty to accept is apparently a general notion of who Avatars are supposed to be, i.e. a fantasy version of Catholic monks, no family and worldly relations, period.

I guess either someone understood the original’s portrayal of de/attachment as “hermit no freaky”, or thought the audience would so why not go there outright.

Now, do I like this on its own? No, God no, it makes the world infinitely poorer and changes the story from an exploration of ideas which aren’t all that ingrained in the West, to a cliché tropester about a Catholic priest going Protestant so that he could be with a girl.

At least I assume that’s where they were going to take this eventually.

I mean, I think the direction was “look conflicted, this isn’t the final stage of your journey”?

But consider this—the show went there, it built on the concepts of Eastern philosophy and touched upon the ideas of spiritual awakening, only to swerve in the end and strongly imply they’re bullshit and Aang should have never wasted his time with them.

So honestly, I much prefer scanty worldbuilding to an insulting retcon by a damn rock.

Multiracial Air Nomads

Probably the most substantial “no hint of irony” point on this list and a genuinely good addition to the universe’s worldbuilding.

See, the notion of the elemental nations being perfectly separate and never mingling before Sozin has always been sketchy but it’s especially ridiculous in the case of airbenders. It never made sense to me for all airbenders to be Air Nomads and for all Air Nomads to be monks and for all monks to be chilling at the temples all the time to facilitate a quick everyone-dies genocide should an imperialistic warlord ever decide to commit one.

Because committing everyone to a single way of life at a handful of places kinda goes against the central philosophy behind airbending. Like the freedom and nomadism part.

Instead, there should be more variety to the airbending culture, with some staying at the temples as monks, hermits, and teachers while others live as nomads, travelling the world and creating more airbenders, with the resulting children in turn being influenced by the non-airbending cultures they grew up in.

And thus, not only should airbenders not be modeled after a single culture to create a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, but they should have the most diverse and dynamic culture out of the four nations.

And it’d be precisely this diversity which would pave way for an eventual reveal that some of them survived, that their complete extermination is impossible.

Because they’re everywhere.

You know.

Like air.