#am I secretly Nigel?

[kingpreciouswrld]

If you’re still accepting Miranda Priestly x Reader fic ideas i’ve got one!

Miranda and Reader have been married or a long time now secretly of course to prevent a media mishap. The reader is a stylist who sometimes stops to visit and help with a showcase, maybe she comes in casually to have lunch with Miranda and gets stopped by Andrea and Emily who try to get her to leave as they don’t know her(only Nigel does) and they’re both trying to tell Emily and Andrea that she’s allowed back there without exposing the marriage, eventually Miranda just comes out and asks why they’re touching her wife ( or something of the sort???) feel free to branch from this

ask and ye shall receive!

I hope you like it! It's been a while since I've written for anyone but myself :3

Nobody's Gonna Know

It’s an unusually busy day in your office. The clothes you’ve ordered haven’t arrived yet and your workers seem to not know how to conduct themselves in a manner without the very needed materials. You looked on through the glass doors as your workers ran around like headless chickens, trying to come up with something to show you before you needed to leave.

As a well-known stylist, it was your job to come up with new and creative or out-of-the-box looks to those who paid for your help. You mainly helped with showcases that Runway Magazine held and the clothes you needed today were actually from Runway Magazine. Through the grapevine you’ve heard that their workers were just as clueless as yours when it came to the clothes you were seeking.

As you sat in your little office, you thought back to when you first started out. You were a nobody, hell you weren’t even a New York local. No, you came from a small town in the middle of nowhere. Having nothing to your name, you first tried making it in California. You gained some traction which led you to move to New York. At first you were against it. You didn’t like big cities all that much, it just wasn’t your scene but you knew that your talent and job called for being around big things.

A year into the job, you attended a charity event where you were introduced to the one and only, Miranda Priestly. It was hard to read the woman at first but you saw it in her eyes, she liked you or at least, your work. That’s how it all started. You started to come and do jobs at Runway Magazine while also taking some jobs on the side. Not to mention the growing relationship between you and the editor which also included the lives of her rambunctious daughters and her slobbery saint bernard.

3 years passed and Miranda and you kept things underwraps. Heaven knows you’d have a field day for Page Six and their stinging words, so you have kept your relationship from everyone. Well, everyone except those closest to you.

Sighing, you looked at the clock. It was almost lunch time and Miranda didn’t like to be kept waiting.

You grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder, “Annie, reschedule the runthrough until this afternoon. I’m sure Runway will do the same due to the circumstances with its clothing gone missing. I’m going out for lunch.” Your assistant nodded and frantically went to work at her computer as you passed her.

Making your way to Elias Clarke, you weaved through the small crowds before entering the building– blending in with the clackers around you. No one knew about your relationship with the fashion queen so you easily blended with crowds and you loved it. No one bothered you.

Until they did.

You had made your way up to Runway’s floors when you passed the front desk and made your way towards Miranda’s inner sanctum. You’ve been to Runway multiple times so no one blinked an eye as you strolled down the halls.

Reaching the outer office of Miranda’s, you haven’t intended to actually be stopped by her assistants.

Andy was the first to notice you as Emily was out.

“Oh! Y/n! I’m sorry but Miranda is in a meeting so you wouldn’t be able to go in right away.” 

You looked at the clock above the assistant’s desk. 11:56 am. Knowing your wife, you knew she wouldn’t mind if you interrupted her work. She never minded when you did it at home, so why would her workplace be different?

“Trust me, I think Miranda wouldn’t mind Andy. So I’m just gonna…”

You tried to step past the young woman but Andy just stepped in front of you. The assistant’s eyes widened as you tried to step past her again but she blocked your way through.

There was only so much you could do so you sighed as you looked back at the clock. 

11:58 am.

This time, you tried to listen for the soft voices coming from your wife’s office. There were only two that you could pick up on. One was, of course, Miranda’s but the other was a man’s voice. Somewhat…feminine? But not too feminine.

“Is it just Nigel and Miranda in there?”

As you tried stepping past the brunette, again she blocked your path.

“Look Y/n, if you keep this up I’m going to have to call security.”

At this time, Emily walked in and took in the scene in front of her, “Andrea? What’s going on here?”

As Andy was distracted, you tried to step past her again but only to be grabbed by the arm and pulled back, away from Miranda’s office door, “Woah! Okay, no touchy, alright? These cost more than your paycheck alright?”

Emily huffed and rolled her eyes but didn’t release you. Andy looked like she was nervous about losing her job. She knew you were stubborn and wouldn’t stop until you were able to see Miranda.

“Since you already have her, escort her to the lobby Em. She’s been trying to break into Miranda’s office. “ ‘Break into’? I’m just trying to see my– ugh, look, I’ll just wait alright? You guys don’t need to be so touchy about–”

Before you could finish your sentence, the brit was already moving towards the front desk area. You immediately stood your ground so the redhead would have a harder time moving you. You’d show them stubborn.

As the three of you were arguing and you were still struggling against Emily’s hold– you didn’t know how the redhead was this strong– you three failed to notice Miranda’s office door open.

“Look, if you let me go, i’ll make sure you still have your job at the end of the day, alright?”

Emily scoffed, “As if you’re so important here, you’re just a small town no one who just happened to meet Miranda and kiss her ass all the way till–”

“Is there a reason you’re restraining my wife?”

Both assistant’s straightened their posture at the cool voice before they realized what she said.

Emily gaped, looking like a fish out of water while Andy looked more afraid of losing her job this time.

Miranda’s eyes were still where Emily had a grip on you and she glared at the redhead, “Let. Go. Emily.” 

The brit let your arm go as if your arm burned her and you grumbled as you rubbed your arm, trying to soothe the lingering pain of Emily’s grip. Behind the editor, Nigel looked as if he was about to burst out laughing at the girls’ faces.

“Now, how about some lunch my love?”

[dr-nero-is-god]

Hmmm plot on the graph: anastasia/nero, elena/nero (interested in your differences in opinion if you have any) cypher/nero & franz/nigel. You don’t have to do any/all of these of course ✌️

Anastasia/Nero :: doesn't make sense, doesn't compel me :: I do LOVE your fics about this concept and secretly hope for more but when I think about what compels ME as a writer, the energy is not there. Like happy to read, but I don't think I could ever write this ship in a compelling way. It just ain't in me.

Elena/Nero :: doesn't make sense, compels me (for some damn reason) :: I think probably one of my favorite things I have written is in the frigel epistolary fic where Nigel awkwardly asks, "so, um, what motivated you to become a teen parent?" Nero's life with the details revealed is just like. What! Your entire life has revolved around the death of your teenage beloved and you're still an alcoholic about it forty years later??? SIR. But despite the fact that we have like. All of one scene featuring Ms. Elena, I am so compelled by it. Perhaps it's just the freedom. Perhaps it's the fact that the only certainty in this ship is trauma. But I feel like when I have had the opportunity to write Nerolena stuff I manage to come up with the most compelling stuff of all time.

Cypher/Nero :: doesn't make sense, compels me :: I think that of all the things I have written this ship is the one most likely to get me shot in-universe. To me, their hatred surpasses even the possibility of hatefucking. AND YET ISN'T IT FUN TO IMAGINE

Franz/Nigel :: doesn't make sense, compels me :: is it necessary for every teenager in every YA book to be paired up with a classmate by the end of the series?? No. However Franz and Nigel will have a summer wedding and beautiful babies

[roxy206]

I got it- bones but make it t and k centered… think and it think about it👀

Stop it wait … like … Booth & Brennan get called in on a case where there was a dead body found in a theatre or drag club & they have to interview T & K?

Booth would not understand drag at first & Brennan would talk about drag in other cultures, & probably about how it’s been incorporated into events she’s been to in another country but it seems that drag in the US is much different

Sweets would have a fucking field day trying to analyze T & K. His head would spin with all the information he would learn in such a short amount of time, & then he would conclude that they’re in love & that like Booth & Brennan, one of them has to finally make a move

Angela would be absolutely enamored with T & K. She’s been to her fair share of drag shows, but she’s never watched Drag Race because she doesn’t have cable. She’s heard T & K’s names in passing, but didn’t recognize them. And if the victim was a drag queen she would do an initial facial reconstruction of them out of drag, then one of them feminizing their face — then detailing it again later after the ID with their signature hair & makeup

Vincent Nigel-Murray would be the intern in rotation for the case & he would be flustered by the attention T & K gave him. Hodgins would be secretly upset that he wasn’t getting any attention from them & ask Angela why that was

T & K would be obsessed with how chic Cam is, & Cam would accidentally reveal that she watches Drag Race by the end of the case even though she’s been trying to hold it in. And she would ask if she can have Michelle swing by because they started watching it together when Cam got custody of Michelle

K would be SO intrigued by everything at the Jeffersonian. T would be going through it having to confront death & mortality. The wills would definitely come up

That would be really interesting to have two dynamics to work with & have them interact & to find where they mirror each other & where they foil each other

Hmmmm. I definitely have some other T & K writing to get done first, but y’know what Anon … I AM thinking about it now lol

[jasoncookiememesinnit]

Name: Jason Khek

Number: Alevencookie

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Transexual Lesbian Ethnicity: Cambodian/Jewish/American/French

Religion: Jewish Buddhism

Position: Memes and Suffering

Birthday: 1st June

Birthdate: 1st June 2007

Hair: Black Eyes: Brown Skin: Cacausian

Codename: Numbuh Alevencookie

Likes: Nissin Instant Ramen (Chicken Flavor) Salmon Eggs Rice Cookies Chocolate Chip Cookies Oreo Cookies Large Fries Helltaker Planets Outer Space Reading (only aliens and planets) Hellboy Hacking Enjoying the Suffering Chocolate Milo Bar Chocolate Chip Pop Tart Whopper Jr. Ketchup Mayo  Lettuce  Chicken Steak Baby Creep Milk Chocolate Milk Chocolate Mousse Brownies English Maths Science Geography Computing Wrestling America The Simpsons Chocolate Iced Glazed (Donut) Ben 10 Ben Tennyson Japan Memes Malayko Cake DeviantArt Funny Things Aliens Maurice Chad Dickson Communicating with aliens Enjoyment of Suffering New York Mahiru Koizumi Sonia Nevermind Kyoko Kirigiri Maki Harukawa Celestia Ludenberg Makoto Naegi Izuru Kamukura Mukuro Ikusaba Danganronpa Spider-Man British Revolution  Pepperoni Pizza Adventures Dislikes: Bullying Curry Lok Lak Fruits Eating Corn Slimy Soup Eating Shrimp Groomers Homophobics Seafoods (except; for salmon) Any of types of Cake Opera Cake Groomers Being Delightful Zoophiles Racism Pedophiles Healthy Food

Specialty: Cartoon Artist Artist  Writer Teen Ninja (cover-up) Agent TND Agent KND Agent (formerly) Fanfiction Artist

Fears: Worms Bloodworms Lampreys Window Wipers (formerly) Leeches Sea Lampreys

Sector:  Cambodian (formerly) New York, USA (NY)

Age: 5 to 9 y/o 14 y/o 15 y/o 16 y/o

Affiliations: Nigel Uno Abigail Lincoln Vera Wolf Keath Duncan Buchanan Y Sing Galactic KND Teens Next Door Galactic TND DeviantArt Maurice Numbuh 10 Numbuh Vine Chad Dickson Wallabee Beetles Kuki Sanban Hogarth Pennywhistle Gilligan Jr. KND Operatives Rachel T. McKenzie Eloise Ginger Numbuh 7.369

Strength: Intelligent at Maths Intelligent at English Intelligent at Geography Intelligent at Biology Intelligent at Chemistry Intelligent at Physics Running Stabbing/Shanking Punches/Barrages Art Drawings

Extra:

I was one of the few KND members to retain her memories. I refused to join the adults or teenage ninjas. Today was the ordinary student not to mentioned, and even he was secretly part of both Teens Next Door and the Galactic Kids Next Door member despite he is one of them though for those who did not know

I have is 2 older sisters, not to mention he even also have an American cousin, and even the fact I was no longer in KND anymore, but the past I was once the KND Operative but now a TND and G:KND member for now at the same time.

I was secretly joining the secret yet new organization called the G:TND since I was a teenager and I love aliens also space was cool though.

Also I was a former KND Operative, when I’m turning 13 I am part of the TND then the G:TND.

[unorthodoxtherapy]

@roguequartz I'M LAUGHING SO HARD also Nigel is amazing and that's a huge compliment, thank you

[hannigramficrecs]

there's a hannibal extended universe?! omg pls, it would be incredible if you could recommend any fics related to this. thank you so much!!

OMG yes. I’m actually thinking of starting a section of my index of just HEU fics! I currently have a Spacedogs tag— which is the ship of Hugh Dancy’s character from the movie Adam (2009) and Mads Mikkelsen’s character from Charlie Countryman (2013), but I was thinking of adding more from all the different universes I’ve read so far as well! Anyways, here are a couple of the more popular pairings to get you started!

Spacedogs:

Space Invader by Devereauxs_Disease [words: 28,512]

Nigel isn’t handling his divorce well. When a good Samaritan starts leaving him gifts on his balcony, Nigel gets suspicious. What could go wrong?

The Set Up by Devereauxs_Disease [words: 4,178]

Nigel decides if he can’t have Adam, someone great should. So he plays wingman for his friend/secret crush and sets Adam up on a date with a gorgeous woman. What could possibly go wrong? OR—The fic where Beverly Katz learns to see the fun in blind dates.

Beth Finds Out by victorine for Devereauxs_Disease [words: 3,160]

Beth doesn’t want to date Adam. She doesn’t really want to date Nigel either, but he’ll work as a temporary measure to discourage Adam. Of course, she’s not expecting the two of them to hit it off…

Marbles by Llewcie [words: 5,561]

Adam moves to a new neighborhood and promptly loses a prized possession to the neighborhood bully. But when the tables are turned, Adam extracts a promise from Nigel that will follow them through the years. The friendship that develops as a result will end up meaning more to them than they ever could have anticipated.

Pochemuchka by slashyrogue [words: 1,441]

Alpha Nigel gets roped into taking the empty bartender spot on Omega Speed Dating Night where he happens to meet a certain blue eyed omega.

I Was Still Blind, But Twinkling Stars Did Dance by DarkmoonSigel [words: 12,010]

Beth sets Adam up on a blind date. Sex happens.

King Arthur (2004) — which Mads and Hugh both starred in!

To the Place I Belong by halotolerant [words: 14,823]

“I am going to have to see you eventually, Galahad,” Tristan pointed out. “Or else undertake this mission blindfolded.” Abruptly, the door in front of him was flung open. He had to fight not to take a reflexive step backwards. “If you even begin to laugh…” Galahad threatened, hissing. Tristan surveyed the sight of him. No, he still didn’t feel like laughing at all.

Over the Mountains and Under the Stars by starkaryen [words: 19,397]

Galahad wasn’t a fool. He knew perfectly well that the feelings he had harbored for Tristan for some time now would never be requited. But Tristan had never joined the knights’ jokes about this particular matter, and he had always inwardly thanked him for that…

Not-So-Innocent by QueenofLit [words: 1,238]

Tristan had been warned off Gawain's little brother quite violently. In fact, he wasn't allowed to so much as see the younger man until Gawain was certain he wouldn't try to seduce him. As a brunette angel serves Tristan's coffee with promises of sweeter things to come, the universe proves how monumentally bad that decision was.

The Tale of Sir Galahad and the Ridiculous Chicken by Devereauxs_Disease [words: 4,928]

Tristan's hawk takes a sudden interest in Galahad, stealing his things whenever Galahad isn't looking. Tristan is unhelpful at solving this problem. Fluff and crack in the time of chain-mail.

Courtship by Chifuyu [words: 2,837]

Galahad can't stand Tristan. Tristan can't stand Galahad. Everybody else is pretty much done with their antics.

Alphabet by cognomen [words: 2,392]

"I don't know how to get through to him, Gawain," he laments. It is pointless to protest - they have been brothers in arms long enough to read each other this well at least. "Have you tried getting in his tent and arranging yourself naked on his bedroll?" Gawain suggests outlandishly, but Galahad is willing to consider even such a dramatic gesture.

Late Bloom by victorine [words: 4,318]

Galahad and Tristan are constantly arguing. The other knights are done. There's only one way to sort this... FIGHT!

Skirts by stratumgermanitivum, whiskeyandspite [words: 3,702]

Come nightfall, the boy’s stance had developed a bit of a falter, but he had no complaints. He sat by the fire, one knee drawn up, and Tristan knew that if he shifted just an inch, he’d flash the lot of them. Something had to be done. Otherwise, the skirt would be nothing more than a belt by morning.

Blood Red Apples by kipsi [words: 1,032]

He had always been secretly jealous of how Tristan handled his knife, his movements precise and steady.

A Bride's Price by Devereauxs_Disease [words: 5,930]

Galahad doesn't know how to woo Tristan, so he asks for advice from the knights. All of their advice is terrible. Please don't ever ask these idiots for advice.

Bondless by Llewcie [words: 9,305]

Galahad runs an Omega club with the best security on the eastern seaboard. Tuesday nights are Alpha Night, where alphas can pay dearly for the privilege of buying an omega a drink. Tristan is willing to pay just to look on Galahad from behind the glass security wall. Galahad is pretty sure he wants more.

Hugh’s character from Ella Enchanted (2004) and Mads’ character from Vallhalla Rising (2009)

 Found You by Kateera [words: 5,151]

Prince Charmont was born without a soul mark and hidden from his kingdom to keep the shame a secret. When his parents send him away on a diplomatic mission, he's forced to watch a man fight for his life and is inexplicably drawn to the silent warrior. He has to meet him.

Trope: From Sex To Love (Valhalla Enchanted) by TigerPrawn [words: 14,355]

In a land where alphas and omegas are rare, the omega prince Charmont is in need of an alpha to see him through heat until his betrothed arrives from a distant kingdom. The recently freed slave one-eyed mute is just hideous enough to be the perfect temporary alpha to service the prince. Falling in love is the last thing anyone wants.

Trope: College AU (Valhalla Enchanted - Modern AU) by TigerPrawn [words: 9,186]

When Char mistakes an alpha’s true appearance for a costume he means to apologize, but ends up doing much more than that!

Blood on Steel by MonstrousRegiment [words: 9,488]

Inside was—a man. Something like a man. There was a shackle around his neck, like a dog’s collar, and the heavy chain it was affixed to run through a thick ring hammered into the wall, and then to a strong-looking anchoring post several feet away, well out of reach of the cage.

Forgemaster by Llewcie [words: 11,946]

Charmont, the newest Dionysus, loses a bet to his roommate Aphrodite, and is required by her to go on three dates with a god of her choosing. Before he even gets out the door, he scathingly insults the gentle, mute Hephaestus, and then must scramble to make amends. Char is not prepared when it's the gentle, one-eyed Forgemaster that refuses to take HIM to bed.

Hel by Llewcie [words: 4,285]

On a road trip to find something he has been missing, Char's car breaks down and leaves him in a quiet suburb of Chicago, with only a seedy hostel and a strange little pub open late at night. Forgoing soiled mattresses for a late drink, he encounters a bartender who doesn't speak but pours a mean pint of mead. Its a better place to lay his head than he thought he would get.

[igonecrazy]

I saw you rec'd iron frost fics earlier for someone. Do you have any Hannigram recs for me? 😋 Been a few years since I last read them.😆

😭😭😭😭😭

I've only been reading them since Jan..I even wrote a couple..I read so many I also forgot at the same pace 😭

Lemme just quickly plug my own fics first! 🤭

As you might have guessed..I love Nigel..and I love Will..and Hannigram are the kings..it went a little like this..

And..I wrote an abo fic..coz I couldn't get an idea out of my head and then it spiralled into an ongoing series give it a shot 🤭

Just read this cute lil fic! Parent Hannigram..and Adam(from Hugh's movie Adam) is their kid 😭 he calls Hannibal Hambal 😭😭❤️❤️

This is like super smol but it's really cute.. they're married pre show 🤭

Another secret relationship.. Beverly is trying to set them up 🤭

Ummm 🙄🙄 ...... Sugar Daddy Hannibal

This is abo..but Will is manipulating Hannibal coz he wants 🤭

This series isn't abo but they do have a lil Hannibal Lecter Jr together.

This is a giant ass half a million words abo fic that I went into thinking Hannigram..but it is like..it uses those faces but it is very different..still this regency au fic has EVERYTHING!! Overcoming worth reading 😭🖤

Classic fake date but fell in love with Mr Denial Graham 😌

Look! I am a whore for Will/Nigel too okie! And they get fake married..(is it fake tho?)!! Because season 2 Will wants to forget Hannibal! What's not to like!?

Dancing with the stars au Hannibal is a celebrity chef and will is a pro dancer

Smol funny Will and Hannibal secretly dating and Jack shows up unannounced for breakfast 🤭🤭

This I haven't been able to finish..it is an ever open tab..but Hannibal and Will start dating, Will knows Hannibal is a killer but not the Chesapeake Ripper..coz Hannibal's lying lil ass said he wasn't 😑

Unfinished fluffy crack.. Hannibal has amnesia.. forgot he's the ripper knows he's in love with Will 🥺🤣

Apparently I've visited this 12 times even tho I've no recollection 😭 another fake dating..it's my jam ✌🏼😌

Another secret relationship..🤣🤣 Jack can't seem to pick up obvious cues..

This series is abo + mob boss/mob boss's henchman ✌🏼😌

Their life on the run posing as a married couple😌

Imma conclude with this one.. everyone knows they're married, they don't know they're married to each other🤭

Tell me if you do read any 😁 I wuv them 😭🖤 (edit- there's more fics but I don't have more energy to dig😥)

[misscrazyfangirl321]

megaverse: nickabby: I didn't know where else to go.

First of all, I made a slight mistake! I thought this prompt was for the actor-verse, wrote this whole fic, and then realized it wasn’t. I hope you don’t mind, but I like what I wrote, so I’m going to go ahead and share it! 

-

“I didn’t know where else to go.” She doesn’t even wait for him to reply before she pushes past him into his apartment, leaving him gaping in the doorway.

She’s crying. He cannot remember a single time he’s ever seen her cry, and it shakes him. (Rage curls in his gut, and he swallows. When he finds out who made her cry, he might just have to pay them a visit.)

He turns to face her just as she plops down on his couch, burying her face in her hands. 

This isn’t what he does. He doesn’t know how to do this, for crying out loud. James could, easily, and Nigel probably could. Helen would be as uncomfortable as him, but she’d still be able to pull it off. (At the very least, though, Johnny would be even more hopeless than Nikola.) 

Still, this is Abigail. He draws in a breath, approaching her tenatively. 

“What happened?”

A muffled sob is her only reply, and he doesn’t quite know what to do with that. But she’s shaking, falling apart, and it’s up to him to help.

“Abigail?”

“It’s not true,” she says, so quietly he can hardly hear her.

“What isn’t?” 

She yanks something from her pocket, shoving it in his general direction, and he takes it, stomach dropping. It’s an artical from one of those cheap gossip magazines, the ones he and Nigel mock together when they go shopping. In shining, glossy letters, it claims to “Expose the truth of Abby Corrigan.” 

According to a “trusted source,” Abby’s rise to fame was a result of cold, heartless manipulation. Her first role had been a bit part, but William Zimmerman-at the time, much more famous than her-had been one of the lead actors, and when he met her, sparks flew. Everyone knew that, just as everyone knew that shortly after she got her first big role, they broke up. According to this article, though, that was no coincidence: she’d used him for publicity, and dumped him when she didn’t need him anymore. 

It’s not the first time he’s heard this particular rumor, and he’s surprised it hasn’t crossed her path before. That said, he’s never believed it, especially since getting to know her: she’s far too kind, far too good, for something so underhanded. 

“So the article’s wrong, and the writer’s an idiot. Forget about it.” He shrugs. How many stupid articles have people written about him? It’s one of the less pleasant parts of Hollywood, to be sure, but- 

She looks up at him, eyes wide and disbelieving. “How am I supposed to forget it? This is what people think of me, Nick!”

“Stupid people.” He closes his eyes briefly, forcing himself to regroup. He may be used to this nonsense, but clearly, she isn’t. “Okay, listen, does what’s-his-name think that? Billy, or whatever.” 

It’s a gamble-he might just upset her more-but her lips twitch slightly, and he counts it a win. “Will, and no. We’re still friends. But-”

“Good, good. And what about your other friends? Henry? Helen? John? Meg? Sally? Are they convinced that you’re secretly a master manipulator?” 

“No, but-”

“What about your parents?”

“Of course not-”

“Great, then that’s what matters!” He offers her a cheeky grin. “Well, and me, of course, but as we’ve already established, I think only an idiot would believe it.” That actually coaxes a weak smile from her. 

Sobering, he settles beside her on the couch, tentatively resting his arm behind her. To his surprise, she leans against him without hesitation, head against his shoulder. Drawing a breath, he gathers his words. 

“You asked me once how I could be so cynical. Stuff like this certainly makes it easy.” He swallows. “People like you make it harder. Don’t let one idiot with a keyboard change you, Abigail. It’s not worth it.” 

She exhales heavily, before nodding, some of the tension draining from her. “Thank you, Nikola,” she says, and he blinks. How long has it been since she’s called him anything but Nick? 

“Yeah, well, I’d say any time, but really, I like to keep my heart-to-hearts to a minimum. Otherwise, I’d mess up my reputation.” 

She laughs, seeing through his sarcastic walls as easily as ever, and nudges him, but doesn’t pull away. “We can’t have that, can we?”

And his smile in return is far too genuine, but just at the moment, it’s all he can do. 

[fallen-gabrielle]

Headcanon about Numbuh 999

Her background and relationship with Monty

It is really a shame that we didn't get to know more about Numbuh 999, a.k.a. Nigel's mom. It is revealed in the very last episode. Kinda too late to explore the character, huh? Well, that's what the fanbase is for, isn't it? Headcanons and theories is what gives the fandom some content while on hiatus (or because we won't get anything canon ever again since the sequel will not be a thing).

I tried to piece together the few information we had in the cartoon to give her a backstory. Things we know for sure:

she was the first girl operative of the 7th age of the KND, she has a long lost brother who is the father of Numbuh 10

...Okay, that was fast. Most of the following is based on some personal experience and knowledge of the mid 60s. I headcanon that Monty's rebellion happened in the early 60s. Also, I gave her a headcanon name, because she needed one. I refer to her as "Margaret".

So, how did kids got lost/separated ? I'm going with the divorce of their parents. And my train of thoughts starts here to follow a logic path.

She went to live with their mom and he went to live with their dad. Simple. But 999's journey just had begun.

A single divorced mother in the mid 60s was actually not well seen by society. So they would always shame the mom for ‘failing her marriage’ and 999 would constantly be reminded that a girl like her with that kind of background would never be able to do something good in her life. Teachers back then loved to shame a kid for living with a divorced parent. Being a victim of adult tyranny, when she learned she could make a difference by joining the KND, she didn’t hesitate. But of course, joining a ‘boys band’ was actually difficult, most of them thought it was ridiculous for a girl to fight. ‘Girls can’t fight! They all cry when being slighted touch, don’t like getting dirty and so on!’ Would be the arguments the KND use to exclude her.

Monty was actually neutral about girls (mostly because he didn’t really know how they work since it seems his mom died and thus not having a womanly figure in his life before). It was with the ‘girls are also victims of adult tyranny’ argument that sold the idea of having girls operatives (people keep saying that girls should act in a certain way and not speak for themselves, for exemple). So yeah, 999 wasn’t part of Monty's rebellion. She joined the KND some time after.

I believe with that in mind that she was extremely cocky, and showing off her toughness. Most of it was only a facade, because she needed to. She would totally have disobeyed direct orders just to spite her hierarchy and piss off Monty, because she didn't like to blindly obey to a boy (also, she secretly enjoyed to piss him off, cuz annonying the guy always so serious and sure of himself was funny to her). ‘I am a woman of action!’ is totally one of her lines. I just like the idea Nigel got some of his ‘free spirited’ temper from his mom, while he got the rest from his dad. "It's okay to ask for help" Why I believe this quote fits 999:

Like I already said, she was constantly reminded that, as a girl, she couldn’t be as strong as boys. She fought her ass off to prove herself to everyone and was always scared to ask for help, that would make her seem ‘weak’. At some point in my story, she yeet herself in a battle/mission when Monty actually ordered to not engage. Leaving a kid completely on her own kinda triggered Monty’s trauma from losing Ben to the social services, he really didn’t like to see a fellow kid all alone, so he went after her. They both get separated from the bigger group, and in the end they still did the mission with plan a (which Monty thought it would be too dangerous, so that’s why he said ‘do not engage’ but she didn’t listen). Thing is, she twisted her ankle in the precipitation, and Monty immediately proposed to carry her, but she said she was able to walk (spoilers, she really couldn’t). At this point, Margaret always defied Monty’s orders and authority, because she thought he was just being bossy for the sake of being an annoying boss for the girls, while he just didn’t care if the operative was a boy or a girl, as long as the work was done well. He was just always thinking of every different outcomes for each situations, because he didn’t want to repeat the only mistake he made: thinking that his father was the only source of evil in the world and thus didn’t see the social services coming for him and his bro. So he started to think about all possibilities and really pondered his decision. He was kinda sick of her behavior and they had a heart-to-heart talk. He asked her what was her problem, and she answered him that, as a boy, he couldn’t understand what it was like to be told how to act and what to become according to their society and adults. Except that Monty did understand: his father always tried to make him the next head of the family, thing Monty never liked. She also told him that her mom would get the "blame" in her parents’ divorce, and that the men in her family (father and brother) left her and her mom alone. While Monty couldn’t understand what I felt like to be in the middle of a divorce, he could a least relate to her for being separated from her brother too. He then tells her that it’s not a crime to ask for help when we really need it. It means we know our limits, and this is the first strength we can have. He then convinced her to heal her ankle (he was good at healing injuries, because of Ben), and you know, he wasn’t exactly the best when he was talking to girls, so she asked him if his mom ever taught him how to talk to them, to which he answered in a deadpan tone it was kinda hard for her to do it since she was already dead for years. Awkward silence as she realised that if her family was fucked up, other kids had it even harder, and felt ashamed for thinking he was being pretentious: he was just hiding some big sadness (and girl, you haven’t heard of Ben yet, so brace yourself). It was also the first time Monty ever mentioned his family to a knd operative other than his best friend so it was a weird moment for him to think about his mom since he never did it all this time.

In the end, they completed the mission, and after that,  they started to see each other, to learn more about themselves. Their relationship grew until they fell in love. When he felt really at ease with her, he told her everything about his family: who his dad was, what happened to his brother. He was kinda scared at first, because he thought she would reject him if she knew his origin. Since he loved her so much, he needed to be completely honest with her (and he already knew about her family’s drama soooo). She then told him that he wasn’t responsible for his father’s sins. That he shouldn’t feel guilt for something he never did. Her feelings for him didn’t change. In conclusion, their relationship was rocky at first, and then evolved through talks and learnings.

Some more details on her here.

[imagine-loki]

Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 59 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.     RATING: Mature   NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Ella did not want her parents to leave Jotunheim. She loved having her family and friends from Asgard there with her. She used the opportunity to see as many from home as she could through their time on Jotunheim and to spend time with her friends as well as juggle being in court with Loki and also dealing with readying for the baby. 

Loki’s vision for their rooms was not vastly different from hers. The most notable thing she noticed was that he wanted to keep her and the baby as defended as possible by altering the location of the bed so that he was more positioned to defend them both if there was reason to. Knowing that it was something of a peace of mind for him, she merely agreed and assisted with her seidr to allow his request to occur. Satisfied, he seemed more settled leaving both soon-to-be parents more at ease with everything to come. 

Watching her parents ready to leave, she inhaled deeply and ensured that her emotions were not to the fore. Ever the perfect depiction of a royal, she remained stoic and unemotional. 

Thor joked and jested with both Aesir and Jotnar with whom he had grown close to, especially through their shared experience on the battlefield while her parents spoke mostly with other realm royalty. 

Odin ensured to find himself alone with Laufey for a few moments. 

“I would have thought you would want as little to do with me as possible now that such is no longer required.” The old Jotunn commented as Odin created a chair for himself to sit on beside the Frost Giant. 

“Long before we warred, we spoke as two young and often foolish kings. Time has changed many things but I hope one of them is not your ability to converse.”

Laufey sighed. “I ignored that trait for a time and it cost me greatly but I still have it.” He looked over the realm that could be seen from the balcony on which they were sat. below them, Loki was speaking with Grengro, one of the Nidavallir dwarves on a matter. “It is a trait I ensured he exceeded me on and to his credit, he has surpassed anything I ever achieved on the matter, even if he did almost cause destruction with ignoring it as I once did.”

“He is young. Sometimes in youth, we do stupid things. I am only relieved that his came with no cost of life...in the end.” Odin growled as he added the last part, recalling Ella’s ill state when he was called from Asgard due to her ailing health. “Now look at him, speaking to those not even you ventured speaking to.”

“High praise from you of all beings, Allfather.”

“I always said that he would be an able king. Never let that be forgotten. I questioned his suitability to Ella and that worry showed that it had credence when he nearly killed her but nonetheless, both of them persevered in the end, and now look at them. An able king. Jotunheim will know great prosperity once more.”

“And our grandson?” Laufey asked. “One of both of our lines, Norn’s who would have thought such possible after the onslaught of war?”

“Even with the ability of Allsight available to some, it is never truly possible to predict what is to come. Jotunheim and Asgard are bound by blood. In the years yet to come, my son will find himself a wife and with that, have his own heir and our realms shall be ruled by cousins, bound by blood and hopefully comradery with it. It will strengthen them, I would think, but only time will tell.”

“Your wife does not share your hope,” Laufey commented. “Through all of this visit, she has been apprehensive.”

“Look at it as she sees it. Your son almost killed our daughter with neglect, he cast aside our tradition of a Queen standing beside her husband on the throne. I understand that the tradition is different here but Frigga, Vanaheim is stricter than even Asgard on those sorts of protocols and thus far, none of Ella’s traditions seem to be included. I know this is nothing you can control with regards to your son, but see it as my wife does or try at the very least. It is a very peculiar manner in which to do things. Of course, she is apprehensive.”

“And you, Allfather?”

“My opinion on the matter holds little standing.”

“Yet you have one?”

“Opinions are peculiar things. We all have them, they are all indeed valid as they do not have to even be based in fact and truth yet as they are singular to ourselves and in our minds, they all hold credence yet at the same time, they hold none as they are not required for anyone else. I have one but it does not matter, good or bad.” Odin growled his response. 

“You may not say the words, Allfather but your eye and face do. You disapprove.”

“My daughter is nothing but an asset to your son. It would have been a simple acknowledgement to her standing to have given her some modicum of recognition.”

Laufey did not press the issue any further. He understood Odin’s thoughts even if he did not agree with the sentiment. The Jotnar and the Aesir were different in many aspects, this was simply one more. Ella’s title meant little. She was the mate of his son, his only one and the mother of the next king so her standing in that manner alone gave her significantly elevated status, giving her a title was not required, in his opinion. “You can control many things on many realms, Allfather but even this is beyond your or indeed my own intervention.”

“There is much yet written but some parts of it are more set in stone than we think.” He looked at Gungnir in his hand as he spoke. 

“I often fear what it means when you ramble in manners in which few others understand.” Laufey watched Odin carefully. “What is it that you are planning, Allfather? How does it pertain to my realm?”

“I plan nothing for Jotunheim, it is not my domain in which to do so without due cause and your son gives me none but change is indeed afoot here.” 

“How so?”

“That, it would seem, will be revealed to us all in the near future.”

Laufey knew he would not get a clear answer, so he said nothing more, hoping that whatever the Allfather had planned, it did not bode ill for Jotunheim.

*

“Ella?” She looked around at her mate. “I fear I need to tell you…”

“They’re leaving.”

Loki looked sadly at his mate. In the days that her close friends had been present, as well as her birth family, her mood was far more cheerful. Usually, her demeanour was a pleasant one, especially since everything was smoothed out between them but it paled in comparison to the mood that she had when her two realms were all but one. Seeing her face go from one of curious intrigue as to why her mate was calling her to one of heartbreak at realising what was to come, he knew she was suffering and felt sorry for her. “I am afraid so, yes.”

Swallowing harshly and with her nostrils flaring as not to allow herself to cry, Ella nodded and rose to her feet. “Very well.” Her voice was small and cracked with the sound of her sadness. “I guess we better go see them off then.” Using her seidr, she altered her clothing and went from a comfortable and loose-fitting dress to one more in keeping with her position. “Shall we?”

“I’m sorry.”

Loki’s apology caused Ella to frown. “Why?”

“Because this is hurting you in a small manner and I wish it did not.”

“Well, it is not your doing but thank you for the sentiment.”

She walked out of the room without saying anything more, Loki followed soon after. 

The Aesir were the last group to leave Jotunheim. Those not overly fond of the realm but felt obliged to be there for the coronation were the first to leave, soon after, Prince Nigel found himself very much rushing to return to Vanaheim and not long after that, all but the Aesir had departed the realm. 

Standing in front of her parents, having said goodbye to her friends, Ella forced herself to remain stoic, knowing that using a clone to bid farewell was not the right thing to do, even if she wished she could. 

“Do not fret, Mother.” Ella found herself rolling her eyes as Frigga looked at her worriedly. 

“I do not envisage seeing my daughter again before the labours of childbirth, do not tell me not to fret,” Frigga argued. “If you need a healer for anything, do not hesitate to have Heimdall inform us and one shall be here, is that understood?”

“Mother, women have birthed safely in caves, I think I can handle this.” Frigga’s worried face caused Ella to internally curse her mother’s lack of faith in her. “But of course, if there is an issue, I will be sure to call upon Eir. I have no plans to die in childbirth.”

“None tend to plan to do so, yet many have.” 

“Mother, I rather not consider such things. I will continue to speak to you in our usual manner through everything.” Ella found herself wishing that her mother would leave the matter to rest. 

“We shall. Until then.” Frigga curtsied to Ella who returned the gesture in kind. 

Thor simply gave a wave and shouted to demand he be told when his nephew was born, if only to begin bestowing gifts that were entirely unsuitable to him, such as weaponry. Ella soothed Loki’s worries by stating that Thor was merely jesting, though secretly, she suspected he was not entirely convinced herself that he was not. 

Then came Odin, who walked up to the pair and watched as they stood straight and waited for his parting words as they had done her mother’s.

Odin started by looking at Loki. “You have, thus far, kept your word to better tend to my daughter. Now, more than ever, you need to not only keep your previous promise to me but uphold it even more as she gives you a son. Give the same diligence you give to that to your realm also as its king.”

“I shall,” Loki swore. 

Odin nodded, satisfied that he meant it. He then looked at Ella. “And you, keep your…”

“Mouth shut and ears open.” She smiled. 

“You would have made a terrifying Queen. Perhaps it is for the best that you remain in the wings, listening, out of their line of sight so that you can better scheme.”

“I do not need such a title to be terrifying, Father.”

“No, you do not. You have held that accolade without such until now, but after today, I fear they will be even more worried as to your silence.”

Ella frowned at her father’s peculiar words. “I do not…” She was stunned into silence as Odin moved his hand forward, Gungnir in its grasp. For another moment, Ella stood in silent shock before her own hand went out slightly. “No.” She pulled her hand back. “Why?”

“I fear the inevitable has occurred. Gungnir no longer is faithful to me. She yearns for her new wielder, of which, I am not.”

“But I…”

“Take it.” 

Ella did as her father commanded and placed her hand on the staff. As soon as she did so, she felt a surge of energy flow through it to her. “It never did that before.”

“No but yet it does now.” Odin, whose hand was also on the staff felt the energy flow through it before relinquishing his hold on it. “I suspect there is a valid reason for such.”

“What…?”

“The staff is not even reacting to your seidr, I would think.”

Loki, who had been standing next to both of them in stunned silent until that point, looked at Odin with even more bewilderment at that statement. “Then who…?”

Ella looked at her stomach. “Him.”

“The…” Loki could not process what he was hearing. “Could a Jotnar…?”

“It requires a strong seidr wielder to control Gungnir. Ella can do so with ease. She never needed a way to focus her power, she does not need it to do her bidding, she is powerful even without it. But my Grandson, his seidr will not be as strong as hers, but with Gungnir, he will rule Jotunheim with more power than any king before him.”

Loki felt a surge of both pride and fear at such a thought. He thought of his son, the future of Jotunheim with enough power to defend the realm from almost any foe. “But what of Asgard? Surely you would want…?”

Odin chuckled. “Asgard is not without its defences. Also, Thor wields Mjolnir. Because he does so, he could never wish to command Gungnir. It would rot in the weapons vault after my ascension to Valhalla. But that is irrelevant. It has already decided. I am too old and weak to wield her fully now. Now it is time for it to go to its next wielder. Ella will use it until the boy is crowned, then he will become its wielder.” 

Odin’s words were clear to comprehend for all those present. Any who thought that Loki was to be a weak king were realising quickly that none before him would have been as strong and the one after would be stronger still. 

“I guess that this will assist in stopping his seidr from surging too greatly.” Ella quibbed before looking at her father worriedly. “But it has been aiding you, what will you do?”

“Grow old, weak and feeble like every man before me,” Odin commented. “As is the way of life. I have no intentions of living forever. My time is coming to an end. I am not gone yet but I think it is obvious, I need to accept my mortality, something I ignored for too long.” He nodded to himself. “Now, rule this realm as it deserves to be. I await the news of my grandson’s arrival and for the love of the Norns, don’t give him some foolish Midgardian-esque name.” Odin ordered as he walked back towards Frigga who was looking at her husband worriedly, wondering how he would do without Gungnir to lean against when he was weak. 

“Why would we choose a Midgardian?” Ella scoffed. 

“Because beings these days love using names from places they are not from, misspelling and mispronouncing them and not knowing their meaning, Migardians especially. At least know the meaning of the damn thing.” Odin growled as he spoke. 

Ella watched worriedly as he made his way slowing back to Frigga. With Gungnir’s power very much connected to hers, she used it to create a walking stick of sorts for her father who looked at it then at her with a small nod in thanks before going to the Bifrost site to be with his wife. “Goodbye.” Ella mouthed the words but no sound came out as her parents, family and friends were surrounded by roaring lights and a moment later, disappeared. 

When silence came to the realm again. Singed ice and ground melted into the shape of the Bifrost in front of her, Ella felt the gaze of all the Jotnar around her upon her and on Gungnir in her grasp. Without thinking, she toyed with it in her fingers in the exact manner her father was prone to doing. Looking at Loki, who seemed just as startled by events as she was, she simply looked back towards the Jotnar palace once more before walking towards it, feeling as though Gungnir being in her grasp was entirely foreign but also incredibly natural to her as she did so. 

[alirhi]

I'm a funny bitch

I don't remember the title, but I just found this old fb post of my running commentary on the first 20 minutes or so of a horror movie I watched in 2016 😂

Thoughts so far on this horror movie I'm watching:

-A horror movie about killer demonic children... because Hollywood understands, sometimes, what is truly fucking terrifying.

-(as guy's face is shown for the first time) HOLY SHIT IT'S NIGEL THORNBERRY! Hello there, comically large nose!

-who leaves an open flame unattended in an overturned trash can in their house? Nigel would NEVER be this stupid! You are a disgrace to your nose size, sir.

-oh. wow, yeah. those kids are creepy.

-aaaaand black screen credits. bleh.

-...a person named Pixie Davies exists in this world. that poor child.

-AND A PERSON NAMED INIGO?!?!?! I don't even care that his last name isn't Montoya. THAT FUCKER'S NAME IS INIGO AND THAT IS THE GREATEST SHIT EVER!

-pretty jungle, but it contains killer demonic children. no, thank you. give me a hug from a giant anaconda over that shit ANY DAY.

-OHSHIT Julia Stiles has a tiny daughter in this! and she is heading to (probably somehow viral) killer demonic children territory! run, Julia! RUN! make a bomb threat or something! get that plane turned AROUND!

-she did not run, because...movie. is a thing. that needs to happen.

-her dad is creepy, but in that annoying old man way, not a plot-driving demonic way. I am uninterested.

-...will they explain why American daughter has a British dad?

-.......and why the little girl with two American parents, who is JUST NOW meeting her British grandfather, has a thick British accent? 😳

-yup. I was right. semi-cute hubby is Michael. So, not only is the dad/grandfather Dr Lane from Underworld, but Michael Corvin is cheating on Selene, too? XD

-I predict little weirdly British girl will slaughter Michael Corvin, force her mother to kill her, and Dr. Lane will of course have known all about the problem all along

-aaaand they're moving into the house where discount Nigel Thornberry died. of course. might as well just shoot your family in the head now and get it over with, Julia.

-"The help will be here soon"? The HELP?! Are we holding a douche contest and I missed the memo or something?

-"Are we gonna be alright here?" No, Julia. No, you most certainly will not. Everyone you love is going to die horribly, and you will deeply regret ever agreeing to any part of this.

-"I can't sleep; this room's too big." I see the douche contest has a junior league. Thank you for joining us, tiny douche, with your first world whining.

-Broken dumbwaiter that scares her and someone watching from her closet... Goodbye, tiny douche. Have fun slaughtering your family.

-jfc how many times are they going to blithely lose track of this damned child?

-oh look, "cute" picture of child in new back yard. cue dad noticing something horrifying in the foliage behind her in 3...2...

-I would be really good at CinemaSins. XD

-...1. Yup. there's the concerned zooming. now, cue child's scream, or dad finally noticing she's missing when he looks up to compare current state of back yard to secretly horrifying photo...

-There are evil monkey things in my yard. are they still there? Where's my daughter? "Hannah!" I fucking called it. XD

-Oh, look. Evil corporation. killer demonic children are definitely viral.

-Oh, grandpa Dr. Lane owns said evil corporation. He definitely knows about the killer demonic child virus

[wolfpawn]

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 59

Story Summary - Based on an idea I had that I submitted to Imagine Loki. Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.

Chapter Summary - The Aesir prepare to leave with Odin leaving a little bombshell on Jotunheim with his departure.

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Ella did not want her parents to leave Jotunheim. She loved having her family and friends from Asgard there with her. She used the opportunity to see as many from home as she could through their time on Jotunheim and to spend time with her friends as well as juggle being in court with Loki and also dealing with readying for the baby. 

Loki’s vision for their rooms was not vastly different from hers. The most notable thing she noticed was that he wanted to keep her and the baby as defended as possible by altering the location of the bed so that he was more positioned to defend them both if there was reason to. Knowing that it was something of a peace of mind for him, she merely agreed and assisted with her seidr to allow his request to occur. Satisfied, he seemed more settled leaving both soon-to-be parents more at ease with everything to come. 

Watching her parents ready to leave, she inhaled deeply and ensured that her emotions were not to the fore. Ever the perfect depiction of a royal, she remained stoic and unemotional. 

Thor joked and jested with both Aesir and Jotnar with whom he had grown close to, especially through their shared experience on the battlefield while her parents spoke mostly with other realm royalty. 

Odin ensured to find himself alone with Laufey for a few moments. 

“I would have thought you would want as little to do with me as possible now that such is no longer required.” The old Jotunn commented as Odin created a chair for himself to sit on beside the Frost Giant. 

“Long before we warred, we spoke as two young and often foolish kings. Time has changed many things but I hope one of them is not your ability to converse.”

Laufey sighed. “I ignored that trait for a time and it cost me greatly but I still have it.” He looked over the realm that could be seen from the balcony on which they were sat. below them, Loki was speaking with Grengro, one of the Nidavallir dwarves on a matter. “It is a trait I ensured he exceeded me on and to his credit, he has surpassed anything I ever achieved on the matter, even if he did almost cause destruction with ignoring it as I once did.”

“He is young. Sometimes in youth, we do stupid things. I am only relieved that his came with no cost of life...in the end.” Odin growled as he added the last part, recalling Ella’s ill state when he was called from Asgard due to her ailing health. “Now look at him, speaking to those not even you ventured speaking to.”

“High praise from you of all beings, Allfather.”

“I always said that he would be an able king. Never let that be forgotten. I questioned his suitability to Ella and that worry showed that it had credence when he nearly killed her but nonetheless, both of them persevered in the end, and now look at them. An able king. Jotunheim will know great prosperity once more.”

“And our grandson?” Laufey asked. “One of both of our lines, Norn’s who would have thought such possible after the onslaught of war?”

“Even with the ability of Allsight available to some, it is never truly possible to predict what is to come. Jotunheim and Asgard are bound by blood. In the years yet to come, my son will find himself a wife and with that, have his own heir and our realms shall be ruled by cousins, bound by blood and hopefully comradery with it. It will strengthen them, I would think, but only time will tell.”

“Your wife does not share your hope,” Laufey commented. “Through all of this visit, she has been apprehensive.”

“Look at it as she sees it. Your son almost killed our daughter with neglect, he cast aside our tradition of a Queen standing beside her husband on the throne. I understand that the tradition is different here but Frigga, Vanaheim is stricter than even Asgard on those sorts of protocols and thus far, none of Ella’s traditions seem to be included. I know this is nothing you can control with regards to your son, but see it as my wife does or try at the very least. It is a very peculiar manner in which to do things. Of course, she is apprehensive.”

“And you, Allfather?”

“My opinion on the matter holds little standing.”

“Yet you have one?”

“Opinions are peculiar things. We all have them, they are all indeed valid as they do not have to even be based in fact and truth yet as they are singular to ourselves and in our minds, they all hold credence yet at the same time, they hold none as they are not required for anyone else. I have one but it does not matter, good or bad.” Odin growled his response. 

“You may not say the words, Allfather but your eye and face do. You disapprove.”

“My daughter is nothing but an asset to your son. It would have been a simple acknowledgement to her standing to have given her some modicum of recognition.”

Laufey did not press the issue any further. He understood Odin’s thoughts even if he did not agree with the sentiment. The Jotnar and the Aesir were different in many aspects, this was simply one more. Ella’s title meant little. She was the mate of his son, his only one and the mother of the next king so her standing in that manner alone gave her significantly elevated status, giving her a title was not required, in his opinion. “You can control many things on many realms, Allfather but even this is beyond your or indeed my own intervention.”

“There is much yet written but some parts of it are more set in stone than we think.” He looked at Gungnir in his hand as he spoke. 

“I often fear what it means when you ramble in manners in which few others understand.” Laufey watched Odin carefully. “What is it that you are planning, Allfather? How does it pertain to my realm?”

“I plan nothing for Jotunheim, it is not my domain in which to do so without due cause and your son gives me none but change is indeed afoot here.” 

“How so?”

“That, it would seem, will be revealed to us all in the near future.”

Laufey knew he would not get a clear answer, so he said nothing more, hoping that whatever the Allfather had planned, it did not bode ill for Jotunheim.

*

“Ella?” She looked around at her mate. “I fear I need to tell you…”

“They’re leaving.”

Loki looked sadly at his mate. In the days that her close friends had been present, as well as her birth family, her mood was far more cheerful. Usually, her demeanour was a pleasant one, especially since everything was smoothed out between them but it paled in comparison to the mood that she had when her two realms were all but one. Seeing her face go from one of curious intrigue as to why her mate was calling her to one of heartbreak at realising what was to come, he knew she was suffering and felt sorry for her. “I am afraid so, yes.”

Swallowing harshly and with her nostrils flaring as not to allow herself to cry, Ella nodded and rose to her feet. “Very well.” Her voice was small and cracked with the sound of her sadness. “I guess we better go see them off then.” Using her seidr, she altered her clothing and went from a comfortable and loose-fitting dress to one more in keeping with her position. “Shall we?”

“I’m sorry.”

Loki’s apology caused Ella to frown. “Why?”

“Because this is hurting you in a small manner and I wish it did not.”

“Well, it is not your doing but thank you for the sentiment.”

She walked out of the room without saying anything more, Loki followed soon after. 

The Aesir were the last group to leave Jotunheim. Those not overly fond of the realm but felt obliged to be there for the coronation were the first to leave, soon after, Prince Nigel found himself very much rushing to return to Vanaheim and not long after that, all but the Aesir had departed the realm. 

Standing in front of her parents, having said goodbye to her friends, Ella forced herself to remain stoic, knowing that using a clone to bid farewell was not the right thing to do, even if she wished she could. 

“Do not fret, Mother.” Ella found herself rolling her eyes as Frigga looked at her worriedly. 

“I do not envisage seeing my daughter again before the labours of childbirth, do not tell me not to fret,” Frigga argued. “If you need a healer for anything, do not hesitate to have Heimdall inform us and one shall be here, is that understood?”

“Mother, women have birthed safely in caves, I think I can handle this.” Frigga’s worried face caused Ella to internally curse her mother’s lack of faith in her. “But of course, if there is an issue, I will be sure to call upon Eir. I have no plans to die in childbirth.”

“None tend to plan to do so, yet many have.” 

“Mother, I rather not consider such things. I will continue to speak to you in our usual manner through everything.” Ella found herself wishing that her mother would leave the matter to rest. 

“We shall. Until then.” Frigga curtsied to Ella who returned the gesture in kind. 

Thor simply gave a wave and shouted to demand he be told when his nephew was born, if only to begin bestowing gifts that were entirely unsuitable to him, such as weaponry. Ella soothed Loki’s worries by stating that Thor was merely jesting, though secretly, she suspected he was not entirely convinced herself that he was not. 

Then came Odin, who walked up to the pair and watched as they stood straight and waited for his parting words as they had done her mother’s.

Odin started by looking at Loki. “You have, thus far, kept your word to better tend to my daughter. Now, more than ever, you need to not only keep your previous promise to me but uphold it even more as she gives you a son. Give the same diligence you give to that to your realm also as its king.”

“I shall,” Loki swore. 

Odin nodded, satisfied that he meant it. He then looked at Ella. “And you, keep your…”

“Mouth shut and ears open.” She smiled. 

“You would have made a terrifying Queen. Perhaps it is for the best that you remain in the wings, listening, out of their line of sight so that you can better scheme.”

“I do not need such a title to be terrifying, Father.”

“No, you do not. You have held that accolade without such until now, but after today, I fear they will be even more worried as to your silence.”

Ella frowned at her father’s peculiar words. “I do not…” She was stunned into silence as Odin moved his hand forward, Gungnir in its grasp. For another moment, Ella stood in silent shock before her own hand went out slightly. “No.” She pulled her hand back. “Why?”

“I fear the inevitable has occurred. Gungnir no longer is faithful to me. She yearns for her new wielder, of which, I am not.”

“But I…”

“Take it.” 

Ella did as her father commanded and placed her hand on the staff. As soon as she did so, she felt a surge of energy flow through it to her. “It never did that before.”

“No but yet it does now.” Odin, whose hand was also on the staff felt the energy flow through it before relinquishing his hold on it. “I suspect there is a valid reason for such.”

“What…?”

“The staff is not even reacting to your seidr, I would think.”

Loki, who had been standing next to both of them in stunned silent until that point, looked at Odin with even more bewilderment at that statement. “Then who…?”

Ella looked at her stomach. “Him.”

“The…” Loki could not process what he was hearing. “Could a Jotnar…?”

“It requires a strong seidr wielder to control Gungnir. Ella can do so with ease. She never needed a way to focus her power, she does not need it to do her bidding, she is powerful even without it. But my Grandson, his seidr will not be as strong as hers, but with Gungnir, he will rule Jotunheim with more power than any king before him.”

Loki felt a surge of both pride and fear at such a thought. He thought of his son, the future of Jotunheim with enough power to defend the realm from almost any foe. “But what of Asgard? Surely you would want…?”

Odin chuckled. “Asgard is not without its defences. Also, Thor wields Mjolnir. Because he does so, he could never wish to command Gungnir. It would rot in the weapons vault after my ascension to Valhalla. But that is irrelevant. It has already decided. I am too old and weak to wield her fully now. Now it is time for it to go to its next wielder. Ella will use it until the boy is crowned, then he will become its wielder.” 

Odin’s words were clear to comprehend for all those present. Any who thought that Loki was to be a weak king were realising quickly that none before him would have been as strong and the one after would be stronger still. 

“I guess that this will assist in stopping his seidr from surging too greatly.” Ella quibbed before looking at her father worriedly. “But it has been aiding you, what will you do?”

“Grow old, weak and feeble like every man before me,” Odin commented. “As is the way of life. I have no intentions of living forever. My time is coming to an end. I am not gone yet but I think it is obvious, I need to accept my mortality, something I ignored for too long.” He nodded to himself. “Now, rule this realm as it deserves to be. I await the news of my grandson’s arrival and for the love of the Norns, don’t give him some foolish Midgardian-esque name.” Odin ordered as he walked back towards Frigga who was looking at her husband worriedly, wondering how he would do without Gungnir to lean against when he was weak. 

“Why would we choose a Midgardian?” Ella scoffed. 

“Because beings these days love using names from places they are not from, misspelling and mispronouncing them and not knowing their meaning, Migardians especially. At least know the meaning of the damn thing.” Odin growled as he spoke. 

Ella watched worriedly as he made his way slowing back to Frigga. With Gungnir’s power very much connected to hers, she used it to create a walking stick of sorts for her father who looked at it then at her with a small nod in thanks before going to the Bifrost site to be with his wife. “Goodbye.” Ella mouthed the words but no sound came out as her parents, family and friends were surrounded by roaring lights and a moment later, disappeared. 

When silence came to the realm again. Singed ice and ground melted into the shape of the Bifrost in front of her, Ella felt the gaze of all the Jotnar around her upon her and on Gungnir in her grasp. Without thinking, she toyed with it in her fingers in the exact manner her father was prone to doing. Looking at Loki, who seemed just as startled by events as she was, she simply looked back towards the Jotnar palace once more before walking towards it, feeling as though Gungnir being in her grasp was entirely foreign but also incredibly natural to her as she did so. 

[the-one-man-tower-of-babel]

Nigel is helping me transcribe some of the old audio logs of Beckett’s I have lying around finally. I chose a fairly innocuous one to share with you all first...

Somewhere in New York City in the year 1994...

Unknown Nosferatu: Ya think you’re hot shit, don’t you Beckett?

Beckett: Not too hot...wouldn’t want to start anymore fires, would we?

Unknown Nosferatu: Yeah...yeah you act like you have complete control but I bet you’re nothing but a puppy on a leash for Blondie over there once you’re behind closed doors!

Beckett: I’ll have you know I am immune to any of Anatole’s disciplines!

Anatole: Beckett.

Beckett: What?

Anatole: Who’s a good boy?

[Long pause.]

Beckett: I am...

Anatole: Who’s my good boy?

[Shorter pause.]

Beckett: ...I am.

Anatole: Who secretly thinks the dog beds in the Walmart look cozy?

[A straining sound is heard, like Beckett is gritting his teeth trying to hold back the words.]

Beckett:...I DO...I LIKE TO BE A SNUGGLY SAFE BOY!

[Another pause, broken by the nasally giggles of the Nosferatu.]

Unknown Nosferatu: Oh my god! What I wouldn’t have given to have that recorded...

Beckett: Lead us through this damned sewer already!

Anatole: Beckett, remind me to buy you one of the dog beds next time we’re at Walmart...

@beckettmnemosyne1

[cayenne-twilight]

Hi! Could you write something about Sophia and Anton's daughter (let's call ber Iris) if she knew her father? Bonus for baby Katia! Thank you!

The little girl sat on her mother’s lap, dressed in pajamas. Her mother brushed her vibrant purple hair, a trait she had passed down from herself.

“Ow mama, stop,” the girl pouted. “You’re pulling.”

“Sorry, Iris,” Sophia said, pulling the brush more gently. “If you quit rolling around in the fields, you wouldn’t have these tangles.”

Admittedly, Dropstone did have the most charming landscape. That was why she chose this particular area to settle, after all. Well, that was part of the reason at least. The pond near town center, the rolling fields, the mountains in the distance, beaten paths winding between sparse clusters of trees; it was all very lovely. A change of scenery.

“That better be it, mama,” Iris said, pulling her hair over her shoulder protectively.

“Thank you for being patient,” Sophia smiled.

“You have to tell me a real good bedtime story to make up for the yanks,” Iris said.

Sophia hoisted the girl onto her bed and tucked her in, kissing her cheek. “Hmm, would you like a fairy tale from the storybook?”

“Nuh-uh. I’ve heard all of those over and over again. How about a brand new story?”

‘I should add a public library to my list of projects,’ Sophia thought. “I suppose I can make something up, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be as good as the old stories.”

“No matter, just as long as it’s fresh.”

“Here goes nothing then,” she brainstormed for a moment. “Did any of your stories have vampires in them?”

“Vampires?” Iris’s eyes widened. “This better not be a scary story. You’re supposed to be putting me to sleep, not keeping me up all night, remember?”

Sophia petted her hair. “No, love. This was a good vampire. He lived in a big castle in the forest, and he liked to throw balls with lots of music and dancing. The decorations and tableware were made out of the most brilliant gold. After all, vampires can’t touch silver, you know. His hair was golden, too, and he had a flowing cape that swooshed around as he danced. He was awfully charming, and lots of ladies wanted to dance with him.”

“But don’t vampires have to drink blood?” Iris asked.

“This one had a penchant for um… grape juice, and it kept him satisfied.” Sophia started the story from the beginning.

It would be a lie to say that the drive to Herzen mansion wasn’t daunting. The surrounding town of Folsense may have been welcoming with its warm glow and interesting brand of night life, but this maiden’s destination was detached from the outside world. The road took her through a shadowy thicket, gangly trees arching over her on either side. She tried to imagine what this trail must look like on a sunny spring day, but she couldn’t quite put the image together. She arrived at the massive building’s doors, parking her car. The maiden grabbed her clutch purse and pulled her faux fur coat tightly around her torso as she scuttered inside, taking care to not trip over her heels.

A short, bespectacled man with a downward hooked nose took her coat and pointed her towards the main hall. She was amazed at the sheer size of it. Sure, her father had a countryside mansion of his own, but she could probably stuff most of it into this room alone. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like upstairs or inside those turrets visible from outside.

“And what might your name be?” The young man approached her, a champagne flute in each hand.

She accepted the drink. “Sophia. And you?”

“Anton. Anton Herzen.” He winked.

So this is Duke Herzen’s son. He was certainly handsome-

“Whoa, mama! The girl has the same name as you?” Iris said.

Sophia laughed. “Yes, what a coincidence.”

Sophia and Anton made small talk over fine hors d’oeuvres, seated in the cloister above the main hall.

Anton popped the last piece of a finger sandwich into his mouth. He gestured towards the couples dancing below. “Care to join them?”

They walked down the stairs arm in arm, getting into position to waltz as the live orchestra flipped their sheet music to the next song. They met eyed and smiled. The first hum of strings cued them, stepping back and forth to the rhythm. They swirled across the floor, performing spins at the proper moments.

“So tell me what it’s like, being a Herzen,” Sophia said.

“Being a Herzen? Why, it’s nothing to write home about, save for the family wealth perhaps.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. Father’s got himself occupied with some silly new business venture. I gather he’s going after pharmaceuticals now, which rubs me the wrong way considering that he doesn’t even know how to alleviate the common cold.”

“Pharmaceuticals? That is odd. He already owns the gold mining company, doesn’t he?”

“That’s just it. The miners have discovered some sort of hallucinogen trapped in the rock, and now they’re searching for a way to harvest it and rework it into anesthesia or anti-anxiety medication.”

“I can’t imagine there being a safe way to do that,” Sophia said.

“There must be, and I hope to God father knows of it.”

With the end of the song, they returned upstairs to continue the next course of food.

Iris yawned. “Now I mean this as constructive story-telling criticism, but this is getting a bit boring. What about the part where the guy is a vampire? Or was that a surprise for later? *Gasp* Maybe the girl will find out he’s secretly a monster and will have to decide whether she’s afraid of him or if she’ll love him anyways!”

“I should’ve thought of that,” Sophia said. “Maybe you should be the one telling stories.” She booped Iris’s nose like a button. “At least I’m succeeding in making you sleepy.”

“What’s Folsense like?” Sophia asked.

“It’s lovely. The lights are beautiful at night, and I’m not just saying that because of the cabaret.”

“I’d love to take a walk there one of these days. Would you be so kind as to give me a tour?”

“Yes, of course. I know Folsense like the back of my hand, and it knows me. Well, except for the people I pranked last Halloween when I ran around convincing them I was a real vampire. That reputation still follows me among the less social townsfolk.”

“I would love to have been there and seen it. Halloween must be a blast in a mansion like this, what with the gothic architecture and spooky forest.”

“I’ve never thrown a Halloween party before, but now that you mention it, it would be surely be smashing.”

Anton took a long drink of his red wine and spoke again, “Where are you from?”

“I live pretty close to London.”

“London? But that’s so far off! It must have taken you, what? Two hours to get here?”

“It’s really not as long as it seems.”

“But it’s already so late! If you left early you’d still only get home in the wee hours of the morning.”

“I could stay at the Folsense hotel-”

“Or you could stay here.”

“You have vacant rooms available?”

“If you want a vacant room, that’s all right too.”

“I don’t.”

Sophia decided it would be best to skip that part of the story.

Anton was still asleep when she woke up the next morning. She put yesterday’s clothes back on and took the chance to explore the castle. Sophia ducked in and out of unlocked doorways, looking for something like a living room or dining room. She found the sheer number of unused spaces odd, thinking that she would surely use them for something more useful, or at least make each room more unique. She stumbled upon the dining room where the Duke was taking his breakfast.

“Nigel, fetch the kettle, would y- DEAR GOD girl, who are you?” the shock faded as soon as it set in. “You wouldn’t happen to be one of Anton’s-“

Sophia laughed nervously. “No, no, nothing like that. He just let me stay the night because I live so far away. Really.”

The Duke’s eyes narrowed as he dabbed the jam from his whiskers with a napkin. “Leave.”

Sophia thought about Anton still asleep in his room. “Um… right. I’ll be right out.” She smiled fakely, trying to remember how to get to the front door.

She gently cracked open the door to Anton’s bedroom. “Antoooon,” she stage-whispered.

He opened his eyes and pushed himself up. “Eh?”

“Your father wants me out. When can I see you again? Maybe we could meet in Folsense?”

“Ah, sorry about him. Are you free next Saturday? We could meet in front of the museum around noon, perhaps.”

“Sounds great! See you there.” Sophia left him, walking through the hallway into the main hall and down the steps to the front door. She retrieved her purse and coat, leaving for her car. Sophia drove home through the rolling hills and fields of the countryside in a dreamy state of highway hypnosis.

“She fell in love with the guy,” Iris stated.

“Yes.”

“And his dad doesn’t want them to be together. It’s a story of forbidden love! Do they have to meet up in secret and serenade each other through the window from outside?”

“Don’t worry, Iris. The Duke isn’t a bad guy, he just cares about his son in his own way, I suppose.”

Sophia and Anton would meet up periodically about town, but although it was good fun, they couldn't do this forever. Anton led Sophia by the hand into the mansion and up to his office.

“Father.”

“What is it Anton? I’m busy.”

“I’ve come to say that I love Sophia whether or not you agree with it, and that she will be coming over no matter what you think.”

The Duke sighed. “You’re right; I can’t stop you two, no matter what I think.”

To Duke Herzen’s distaste, Sophia ended up practically moving in. He appeared to be in denial, engaging young Freidrich in conversation or turning to his legal documents whenever they were in the same room. The young couple tried to keep to themselves, which one would think to be easy in a house of that size, but he seemed to turn up at every corner as if watching them.

Sophia sat down next to him in his library one day. “I didn’t take you for the type to read Poe for fun.”

“Well here I am. Do you read him?”

“Oh of course! I love that surreal macabre stuff. I’ve actually been curious about the mines below the castle; isn’t it a dangerous setup?”

Duke Herzen closed his book. “There were reports of coal being collected when they first built the foundation. I had the idea of digging deeper. I see how having a gaping pit under your home may seem precarious, but I trust in the beams and supports holding us up.”

“Anton mentioned some sort of gas discovered down there…”

“Did he now? That was meant to stay confidential.”

“Oh don’t get mad at him for it, it was but a slip.”

“Still, I’m sure this could become the next big thing in pharma. I need to find the men to research and rework it, but after that it’ll be smooth sailing. I didn’t think you’d be interested in this sort of thing.”

“I can’t deny that I have my concerns, but admittedly this is all very curious.”

Duke Herzen reopened the novel. “Look after him, will you?”

“The vampire’s dad was very cold at first,” Sophia said. “But his heart started to warm up as he got to know the maiden. Soon enough, he began confiding in her. The maiden and the vampire lived together in his castle until one terrible day, tragedy struck.”

“Aww come ooon. I thought this was gonna be a sappy feel good love story. No tragedies,” Iris whined.

“Okay fine. No tragedy.”

“There’s more of it seeping out and diffusing into the air than we thought,” Duke Herzen said from his sickbed.

“What does this mean? Have you lost all hope in stopping it?” Sophia asked, masking panic.

“There’s not much we can do but leave it alone and move somewhere else. Not that I would make it much longer anyhow.”

“Oh don’t say that rubbish.”

“You can’t change the fact of the matter, my dear.” He smiled weakly. “I’ll leave it up to you to lead the evacuation.”

“But so many people don’t plan on leaving. What of them?”

“We can’t force anyone to go.”

“That’s awful- don’t they know-”

“Whatever they’re thinking, their minds won’t change.”

“Awful,” Sophia muttered again.

“I’m staying!” Anton yelled. “I know the risks, and I know that I feel responsible for this town, so I can’t just leave it.”

“You idiot!” Sophia retorted. “There’s no future for Folsense, so stop acting like you’re immune from this gas unlike everybody else.”

“And here I was thinking you’d stay with me.” He turned away.

Sophia grimaced.

“How about we just go to bed and talk this over like normal people tomorrow morning?” he sighed.

Tomorrow morning Sophia was gone. She got up before the sun and kissed Anton’s sleeping head. Lugging her trunk down the ornate staircase, she took a final look around the home she called her own, around the hall where he and she shared their first dance. Nigel handed Sophia her coat, he was staying as well. She stepped out into the crisp air where birds were only beginning to chirp and walked through the woods to the station. They really weren’t all that spooky in the daytime. Charming, really. Friedrich helped her pull the luggage up from the platform.

“Is it really okay? To leave him here, I mean.”

Sophia scanned the rooftops of Folsense once more. “I don’t know, Friedrich. I don’t know.”

She didn’t tell him the train was today. She didn’t tell him that they didn’t plan on coming back once this all “blew over” because she suspected it wouldn’t. She didn’t tell him about the baby.

The train hissed and whistled, pistons coming to life and shoving the wheels along the tracks. This was it. Her last look at Folsense. Her last chance to be with him. The town disappeared before she could notice, replaced with a view of rolling fields and sparse trees. She took a deep breath. This was it.

Sophia snapped back. “The vampire and the maiden threw a grand big wedding and invited all the townsfolk. At first they were wary of the vampire, but it turned out to be a jolly fun evening. They lived together happily ever after, and even had a little daughter who hated having her hair brushed. The good vampire protected the town for the rest of time, no matter what, so all the people could be safe and happy like them.”

“Wow, it’s like I was there, mama,” Iris giggled. “You should start writing this stuff down.”

“Oh hush, dear. It’s far past your bedtime.” Sophia kissed Iris on her sleepy head and left the room. It’s like she was there again.

[squeakynico]

i don't know what's wrong with me today... i actually got a full night sleep (without even getting the 4am-ies), but i had to pull over three times on the way back from Atlanta in order to nap in the back of my car, and i just took a 2 hour nap when i got back home, and now i am still exhausted...

i started my taxes at Parkgrounds, but then my dad called and i decided i would rather do them at home anyways? but now i would rather just... not do them at all.

my dad and i always have good, productive conversations... this time he had aa lot of good advice as to why i should Not move to New York. he called it a Shithole, and there's really no was that i could afford it anyway, now. nope, looks like i am stuck in Peachtree City now! at least i know how Not to get arrested here now :D

Fletcher's alter ego is Penelope Peachtree... gosh, it would be nice to see her again, but i fucked that up Royally. i could visit Austin, if it weren't for covid, and hang out in the backyard with Bruno and Dmitri, and give Bruno his awesom3 book about Mice i haven't written yet for his birthday on the 17th, and there would be a party and maybe Fletcher would be there and i could apologize for all those things i said when i was manic. Horrible Things. or really just really weird i guess, about like, having to help rescue Satan from Hell, and Jesse Garon's little lost soul coming to inhabit my body, and i wish i could make a porno in this hotel room, will you please kiss me?

i also just... kept messaging her, even after i think she blocked me, because secretly i thought, i dunno, that she *hadn't* blocked me and was just pretending? i would message her about how depressed i was, about the cat i had just got from the pound, about how i was trying to be a truck driver but it wasn'r working, all sorts of things. it was nice to just, message a blank wall which may or may not have been read by Fletcher.

at some point i stopped messaging, or messaged less and less, until one day on the way back from Arkadelphia for Thanksgiving i just decided to... come back through Palestine. it's only about an hour dip to the south, from i30. after that, is when visiting Palestine became my stupid pasttime.

i had a lot of cognitive dissonance too at the time, knowing that i was drinking too much amd wanting to quit but not being about to stop myself... now i've pretty much embraced my soft (beer) alcoholism, and i'm much more at Peace - like Homer Simpson. but for a while, i would swear to my self - THIS is my Last Shiner.

THIS Is my Last Dos XXs!

THIS is My Last Modelo!

Last Dales Pale Ale, Last Budweiser, whatever, it just went on and on, because there would always be another one... and what the Fuck is wrong with that? SO I LOVE BEER. i Know my Limits, and i Do Not Get Drunk.

my tolerance is incredibly high though. when they took me into the ER for my skull injury at Grady, i think they said i was at .14 . for my last DUI, i was at .19. . for the DUI before that, i think it was .192 . i cant remember much, since it's been years now... i think when i'm drinking (which is basically any moment that i am awake where i am not at work) i must maintain at least a walking drunk of about .10 .

a walking, *talking* drunk. i am incredibly functional, socially, when i drink. and i can be incredibly productive too, although it feels like an eternity since i've been Truly productive... i have to stay sober now, til Thursday when i see my P.O. and she gives me my last random drug/booze test (apparently they always give you one at the very end). i feel fine, not so different now than when i am drinking, only i feel sadder.

maybe that's where the sleeping is coming from too? only two days ago when i was still drinking, the same thing happened... anyways, it would just be nice to apologize to Fletcher. the last time i saw her, was at a Minimal Aminal show in Austin two septembers ago. i got to carry her amplifier to the car, and she seemed impressed ❤

she also seemed tired. she left and went home and me and Nigel went and partied in my hotel room. it was a silly night, but then i had flown in from Nashville Just to see that show. I had taken a greyhound from Champaign to Nashville (i got kicked off the Amtrak platform for lookin funny, or else i woulda been in New Orleans), after having trained into Chicago on a whim to see my friend Wesley Colors (i just spoke to her on the phone last night, which was nice, even though she's always so Down on herself) -- iiee Height of my Mania. Fletcher knew that, because she had been seeing all my texts, up until that point.

what she must have thought when i showed up at their show that night, i don't suppose i will ever know... i could barely even speak to her then, i was so shy in person. but i got to carry her amp. and once when i walked into the bathroom at the Mohawk she was taking a picture of herself in the mirror, that she posted later on instagram ((she looked really good, always does from what i can remember 🦔🦔🦔))

what was i even saying? OH, she is an astrologer now, so maybe she could tell me what my houses of the day are like, and why Neptune wants to run me off the road with fatigue or something... it would be so nice if i could pretend i was somebody else, and secretly get a reading with her. i wonder if she has a website!

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

According to a narrative that’s currently popular in the mainstream media and the more lowbrow end of academia, the recent surge in popularity of the American nationalist right was caused by the radicalization of nerds. Dweeby white manchildren, so the story goes, retreated into video games, the science fiction fandom, and anonymous online forums like 4chan, and formed misogynistic, resentment-fueled subcultures within them. These neckbearded neo-Nazis gradually coalesced into the ‘alt-right,’ an internet hate machine that contributed greatly to Toupee Hitler’s otherwise inexplicable rise.

There are many versions of this narrative. The common feature is the ascription of Trump’s electoral victory — and, in some cases, the surge in right-populism all across the Western world — to the vile machinations of movements of fascistic, internet-based nerds; but the details vary. One version, laid down in a popular Tumblr post (at the time of writing, it has over 22,000 notes), ascribes the rise of the alt-right to a successful campaign by Stormfront to turn 4chan Nazi. Another version blames it on Gamergate, allegedly a hate campaign born out of a misogynist’s attempt to “punish his ex-girlfriend” that served as a breeding ground for far-right extremism, and as the petri dish that they organized in before taking over America. The Z-list Youtube celebrity Zinnia Jones has described Gamergate as “one of the worst things ever to happen” because it “enabled Trump” — apparently, a piece of fandom drama ranks up there with the Spanish flu pandemic, the Mongol conquests, the Black Death, the invention of the nuclear bomb, the post-Columbian plagues that depopulated the Americas, and the unfortunate events of the 1940s.

Deployments of the narrative abound. A popular Medium “32-minute read” bears the headline, “4chan: The Skeleton Key to the Rise of Trump.” Politico insists that “the Trump campaign … paid rapt attention to meme culture from the start.” CNET helpfully explains that “what began as a backlash to a debate about how video games portray women led to an internet culture that ultimately helped sweep Donald Trump into office.” Chris Grant, editor-in-chief of Polygon, complains that “the overlap between Gamergate and Trump(ism) is astounding. GG was like the trial run for this whole mess.” The Independent, a British paper, speaks out against the “very geeky” Trump supporters of the alt-right, and claims that “The uncomfortable truth, that should worry anyone praying for a Trump defeat, is that the Alt-right following he has tapped into are more numerous and unpredictable than traditional political commentators understand.” And so on. And for every article that explicitly draws a connection between internet-based youth countercultures and Trump, there are a dozen more that simply make a point of mentioning them in the same breath, and let the reader work out the connection for himself. Trump… Gamergate… Trump… neckbeards… Trump… 4chan… Trump!

At this point, it’s worth taking a step back from the phenomenon of heavy internet users failing for the first time to line up in lockstep behind the Democrats, and looking at the bigger picture. Trump’s electoral success was not driven by the alt-right; it was driven by the usual factors. To make a long story short, Trump won because Clinton ran a bad campaign and took unpopular positions on the issues. Insofar as the election was unusual, it wasn’t because Trump posted a picture of a cartoon frog — Clinton made her own bids for pop-cultural relevance, as did her husband when he took out his saxophone on Arsenio Hall’s show in 1992 — but because Clinton, in violation of a long-standing norm, directly insulted large swathes of the voting population with her “basket of deplorables” line.

Trump’s success is also not unusual in a global context. In recent years, Viktor Orbán’s Fidesz won a supermajority in Hungary and proceeded to rewrite the Hungarian constitution to declare Hungary a Christian nation and ensure the electoral dominance of Fidesz for the foreseeable future. Britain voted to leave the European Union, and politicians like Marine Le Pen, Nigel Farage, and Andrzej Duda became household names among the set that pays attention to international politics. Trump is not a uniquely American phenomenon; if anything, he’ll likely prove to be a more moderate parallel to the trends sweeping Europe, just as FDR paralleled the European extremists of the Depression years. Of course, these trends are not just sweeping Europe, as is proven by the victories in Asia of politicians like Narendra Modi and Rodrigo Duterte.

This global trend simply could not have been caused by an obscure piece of American fandom drama. Gamergate and 4chan cannot have contributed to the rise of the right, because the rise of the right happened to approximately the same extent in countries outside the Anglosphere and outside the cultural reach of Anglosphere nerd culture. Even Vox, which once described Trump as “the first Republican nominee whose ethos owes more to 4chan and Gamergate than it does the Bible,” has found that “polarization is accelerating fastest among those using the internet the least.”

Nor could Trump’s rise to power have been substantially helped along by pictures of cartoon frogs. A full analysis of Trump’s victory is beyond the scope of this article, but it borders on delusion to believe that Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania were flipped by 4chan trolls, rather than by such ordinary factors as Trump’s more popular positions on the key issues of immigration and trade and Clinton’s failure to run a functional campaign.

The internet has, however, reshaped American politics; just not in the way pundits say it has. The main effects have been on the left, not the right.

The most obvious effect is that leftists, especially those in the fields that shape and promulgate leftist doctrine, spend a lot of time online. Journalists spend less time cultivating networks of sources and more time ‘building their brand’ and interacting with other journalists; academics network on Twitter; and so on. Connection matters more than ever, and the internet has weakened local scenes and replaced them with placeless ones. Indie game developers from all over the world, for example, can compete for the attention of the largely U.S.-coastal ‘mainstream’ games journalism industry, whose writers are of course all on the same mailing lists, not to mention following each other on Twitter. Journalists, academics, political advisors and the like disappear into their own world — a world where it’s acceptable to wage war on large parts of one’s own audience, or to lead a mainstream presidential candidate to insult a large part of the voting population. And the scenes that are best able to capture the attention of this world will gain power, influence, and the propagation of their norms.

One scene that has been markedly successful in capturing the attention of the journalistic world is the one that developed from the pay-to-post forum Something Awful. Originally a humor site, it became one of the most influential sites on the internet — you probably know that 4chan was created by a Something Awful regular, and that its initial userbase drew heavily from SA. Its influence on politics, however, extends far beyond 4chan. Buckle up, folks: you’re in for a long, confusing, and terrible ride.

In the essay “Exiting the Vampire Castle,” Mark Fisher, who was roundly condemned for writing it and killed himself three years later, attacked not only the identitarianism that has metastasized in academia since the ’60s, an identitarianism in which “the sheer mention of class is now automatically treated as if that means one is trying to downgrade the importance of race and gender,” but also the “paralysing feeling of guilt and suspicion which hangs over left-wing twitter like an acrid, stifling fog” and the “kangaroo courts and character assassinations” that are, as anyone who has observed the state of the left today, overwhelmingly common. This guilt and suspicion, these kangaroo courts and character assassinations, need not have anything to do with politics; in one memorable instance, a once-popular Tumblr communist blogger with the sadly real URL of “fuckyeahmarxismleninism” was dogpiled and laughed into irrelevance for admitting to watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic with his daughters. This was seen as a far worse faux pas than even his support of North Korea. I am, unfortunately, not making this up; I saw it all happen firsthand.

These aren’t the kangaroo courts of Stalin. What they are is the schoolyard courts of Helldump, a Something Awful subforum created for the strange purpose of being a schoolyard court. The Something Awful wiki speaks for itself here: “The official birth of Helldump 2000 spawned a new creative outlet for pedophiles, racists, bigots, Ron Paul supporters, gun zealots, defenders of anime and otherwise crap posters to be outed in a thorough, convincing manner by an astute civilian task force. Essentially, it checks and balances the stupidity that seeps its way into the forums as a whole, although (unfortunately) it does not function as a preventive treatment (shit posters still propagate at an alarming rate). Rather, the modus operandi of Helldump is to profile and insult the (assumed) poor goon for his questionable views, and in turn function as a virtual tourniquet in an attempt to stop the bleeding, as well as force said shit poster into online anonymity and/or reclusiveness.” In practice, most of what Helldump did was dogpile furries.

As a side note, internet lore has it that the population of Helldump regulars itself skewed furry. This is not terribly out of the norm for Something Awful, the admin of which employed Shmorky for ten years before firing him on the sensible grounds that he was “secretly into pedophilia incest diaper shitting roleplay” and allegedly “would get way too excited over [SA admin Lowtax’s kids] coming to the office.” (Shmorky has also been reported to at least have once been friends with Rebecca Sugar, the creator of the TV show Steven Universe, which has a remarkably Shmorky-like art style and has as its target demographic the same Tumblr crowd that Shmorky fell in with.)

Zoe Quinn herself was a SA member under the username Eris, and participated in at least one Helldump dogpile. It’s often believed that Gamergate began when her ex-boyfriend posted a ‘callout’ of her abusive behaviors, cheating, and so on — the “Zoe Post” — on 4chan, but he actually joined Something Awful to post it there first. He was quickly banned for it, and the ban message reads: “Thank you for joining the Something Awful Forums in order to post a giant loving psychopathic helldump about your ex-girlfriend in the forum about video games.” (The original phrasing was “giant fucking psychopathic helldump,” but SA has wordfilters.) The belief in a connection between Helldump and ‘callout culture’ is held by the SA moderators themselves.

Helldump was closed after two years, and many of its regulars migrated to a different subforum, Laissez’s Fair, “the original Dirtbag Left.” The SA wiki entry for LF helpfully explains that it was “opened up to put all the Ron Paul shit” and became a “refugee holding bay” for Helldump after the latter was closed. “Over time people started making effort posts about such things the nightmare that is our criminal justice system, social justice in general, as well as the ideas of Karl Marx. The lack of moderation was made up for by basically shouting people out of the forum who were stupid MRAs and concern trolls. Gradually the complexion of the forum shifted from liberal to socialist.” Eventually, LF was closed, because “LF posters went internet detective on mods and posted death threats,” including several to then-President Obama.

At least two regulars on Helldump and LF went on to get careers in journalism. Jeb Lund, who wrote a vague and rambling essay about his posting career for Gawker, went by “Boniface” and “Mobutu Sese Seko” on Something Awful. Under the former pseudonym, he threatened a Helldump victim: “how about you promise never to post here again on pain of being permabanned, otherwise there’s no reason for all the posters here with lexis-nexis to stop at just your email addresses and not go straight for driver’s license photos and info, tax records… the list goes on and on.” Sam Kriss was (or at least was widely believed to be) Dead Ken, as well as Red Ken, Dub Mapocho, Agenbite Inwit, Dead Skeng, and presumably other accounts. After LF was removed from SA, its regulars established and migrated to explicitly Communist forums offsite; he was a regular on one such forum, “tHE rHizzonE”, which was later given some sort of contest by the leftist magazine The Baffler, whose editor was “a fan” of said forum. (Sam Kriss has written for the Baffler.)

Many people from the more leftist parts of SA went on to become “Weird Twitter,” which was puffed by outlets like Buzzfeed. John Herrman and Katie Notopoulos, the authors of the linked piece, gravitated toward LF superstars on Twitter and tried to replicate their style. Some of them, such as Lund, Kriss, David Thorpe (who had a regular column on SA and is now a music journalist), Virgil Texas, Jon Hendren (who was, as docevil, once an admin of the “Fuck You And Die” (FYAD) subforum, but was shamed off the site after a bizarre incident involving a charity event featuring Smash Mouth and Guy Fieri), and Alex Nichols, parlayed those connections into posting careers.

Herrman also profiled a Weird Twitter poster, @CelestialBeard, whose claim to fame was tweeting a lot, and being followed by Herrman on Twitter. @CelestialBeard has since become a transgender brony.

From Weird Twitter, which attracted and assimilated people who weren’t active in SA’s leftist cliques (such as Felix Biederman and Virgil Texas, who just lurked), came Chapo Trap House, darling of every obscure Slate clone from Brooklyn to Queens. Chapo has featured several SA regulars, including Alex Nichols (@Lowenaffchen), who was active on LF as Golden Lion Tamarin (his Twitter username used to be @GLDNLNTMRN), and Dan O’Sullivan (@Bro_Pair), a now-banned former SA moderator whose username is now Fat Curtain Dweller. It’s interesting that a podcast heralded for ‘actually giving a shit’ comes from a subculture that began as pure trolling.

Providing a precise accounting of the impact of Something Awful on the Anglosphere left is difficult, as it would be with any subculture. The history is oral, largely lost, deliberately obfuscated, and shrouded in irony. It is likely that nothing will come of it, and that, in the end, it will be the farce mirroring the tragedy of neoconservatism: an insane political movement that developed out of a bizarre and insular clique in a world where having the right connections matters above all else, writing things that very few people care about but doing a great deal of damage along the way. It seems that the norms of Helldump have become callout culture, SA users’ trolling of the libertarians corralled in LF have become the dirtbag left, and some of those responsible have written for not only Gawker and Buzzfeed, but also The New York Times.

At the very least, the overlap in population is clear and suggestive. Someone can go from being repeatedly banned from a pay-to-post forum for something involving the word “nigger” to writing for the Guardian, the Atlantic and the New York Times, largely on the dubious strength of his Twitter account and forum fame. There are few lessons that can be drawn from this; the obvious one is that perhaps the media rewards expertise less than connectedness.

I’m told that this is what Gamergate was about. But there are many things I’ve been told Gamergate was about. The internet is something awful indeed. And it’s only going to get worse.