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I was going through my old screenshots pre-Pandemic, and I came across a part of my Twitter history I had completely forgotten.
So, as I had written about at length in my recounting of the history of Bo Burnham Historian, one part of my social media past was running a parody Rocko's Modern Life account in 2019.
Called Rocko's Thoughts, it was pretty easy to set up. Every tweet was "_____ is a very dangerous day," with the blank filled in with whatever stupid Twitter holiday it was that day (Like "National Hot Dog Day is a very dangerous day.").
So I did this from January 2019 until January 2020 when I completely abandoned the account and never really tweeted again frequently until BBH/UBBH.
But that's just background for the absolutely bizarre thing that happened to Rocko's Thoughts.
So, I had amassed a moderate following of 23 people, but I would get replies to my very basic tweets from people trying to actually converse with the nervous wallaby. I assume most were young or perhaps mentally impaired, but I'd respond back in character, saying "mate" and stuff since Rocko is Australian.
HOWEVER, there was one freak I never replied to...that would be Terri.
Oh, I'm sorry—her full name on Twitter was this weird mix of emojis:
Terri⚖️⚜️🎶🎸✌️🌴
This was legit my exact train of thought about if I should follow or interact with my BIGGEST fan who made a pretty cute thesaurus joke (definitely appealing to my word nerd self):
Me: So, that seems pretty innocent, right? Maybe a bit more law-focused than I would have preferred from Rocko’s followers, but Terri seems like she wants to rock out and hang at the beach. Cool!
Let’s read a bit further before I decide to follow one of the few people to interact with Rocko.
Hmm…
@ LilPolkSalad
Me: That’s fine. Who doesn’t have a weird handle…maybe she’s a fan of James Polk and veggies? I’m still onboard, but there’s this weird list of sentences (?) and hashtags. Okay, let’s check THOSE out.
Cotton sharecropper’s granddaughter.
Me: Huh…
Indndependent.
Me: Okay, typo isn’t helping here…
Patriot.
Me: Oh no, no…
MBA, JD, LL. M.
Me: Well, that explains the scales at least…
#AmericaFirst 🇺🇸
Me: Can this get any worse? Now I’m just curious…
#DrainTheSwamp
Me: Ah, there it is. What else ya got, you right-wing nut job lover of a Nicktoon character from the nineties?
#TermLimits
Me: Ugh…do these people know you don’t need to capitalize the letters in a hashtag?
🚫#FakeNews #MSM
Me: Okay, this is definitely like my mother who calls anything but Fox News “the lapdog media.”
Um…do you think Terri ever realized that “no” could be accomplished by just writing “No”? I mean, she’s written a novel already in her freakin’ Twitter bio.
So, long story short, Terri is now undoubtedly a member of Moms for Liberty, harassing school board members and burning books that say gay people exist.
And, no, I did NOT interact with or follow her. 🤘💙🌈🪩🏳️🌈✌️
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