#an added difficulty is that for the most part I’m trying to colour & ink like

[sisaloofafump]

I love your Diana so much but Please🥺 give her body hair 🥺

The lack of body hair had been a conscious choice originally because I wanted her skin to seem more like clay than animal (thus all the texture too). However the moment you sent this I went 😳 omg hairy Diana 😳. I am a firm believer in Diana having a lot of body hair in other interpretations, and I’m going to experiment over the next while to see how I can a) better render her skin to be clay-like, and b) see if body hair works.

But in the meantime, have some hairy Diana! ❤️

Version without clothes:

[chromatic-lamina]

rascal: law and robin brotp fanfic

I have a lot of brotp Law and Robin in my fics, and one fic with them as a couple. I like the brotp interaction. Two cynical and supportive friends, but the writing is mostly in my multi-chaptered works, which are dark or canon divergent or both.

Anyway, I’m going to include an excerpt below. Robin’s painting Law’s toenails while they both chat about current and past loss and love. It’s from a three-chapter work that I don’t think will make much sense without knowing the rest of the world that it comes from, but hopefully this interchange can be followed and strikes a chord with some. I know the LawBin fans are thirsty. Post canon with canon-verse history and elements. This is an older piece.

🐞

Law sat back in the garden recliner in Robin’s backyard, a book over his face. He wasn’t in danger of burning easily in the late morning sun, but had no intention of making himself prey to melanoma. Robin perched on the edge of the recliner, holding one of Law's feet.

He'd spent the night at Robin’s in anticipation of the tea-towel convention they'd be visiting today. She’d spent the night trying to share his enthusiasm as he sat, tattooed arms spread on the table, poring over catalogues. His inked hands pointed out designs featuring disproportionate tulip-ensconced windmills, and disembodied body parts that had less to do with Dali and more to do with morticians.

She assumed all the creators were outliers. Commemorative tea-towels hadn’t quite taken the art world by storm yet, but they did remind her a little of Ryuunosuke, the very cute but badly drawn dragon that had struggled and succeeded in taking them all to the top of Zou. 

That was last night though and now, soon, they’d head off to gossip and gander with the convention organisers, the Dishcloth Dames, once she’d made Law pretty.

“These are so cute.” She pulled at the few black gnarly hairs curled on Law’s left big toe.

“Freak,” Law mumbled, moving his foot.

Robin laughed, righted Law’s foot and wiped the brush over the nail of his big toe.

“When did you last clip these?”

“What’s it to you? You’re the one who wanted to dress me up.”

“You’re the one who’s letting me. You’ve got old man’s feet, by the way.”

Law arched his bridge and Robin slapped it, held it down.

“The sexy surgeon’s pedes don’t please? You said they were cute?”

She studied languages. She had no difficulty with Law’s fancy Latin terms.

“Mmm. I wouldn’t go that far. But I guess you got those tattoos to distract from your tootsies.”

The ink on the bridges of his feet matched that on the back of his hands. She felt the arc of the bone against her palm as she admired the designs, although it was one of the more simple ones to adorn Law and, historically, definitely not his favourite.

“And yet, there you are, making them all presentable and shit.”

“Does Marco like them?”

“He’s got his kinks.”

“And . . . ?”

“They remain in the bedroom,” Law grinned. At times he thought the Phoenix liked every part of his body, though they’d never had a deep conversation about those particular extremities.

“Ah, you’re no fun.”

“I’ve been told.”

Law felt her move to the next digit.

“What colour are you painting them?”

“Tch.”

As if it could be anything but black.

“Well, you sent Chopper out for the colour once,” Law said to her silence.

Bubble gum. Robin snickered, remembering. Law peered at her from under his book, her shoulders rose and fell with laughter. He liked that violet t-shirt.

.

Law seemed so disinterested, and therefore, Robin guessed very trusting, when she or anyone else painted his nails. He usually paid little attention to the colour, or even the action. It was something that pleased those who found it amusing to decorate him. Just so long as they let him read whatever he was researching, he indulged them. A small compromise for a larger gain.

No way in hell could someone he didn’t trust do this, though it had been done. Robin knew that trust was hard won. Law told himself that he let them all think he was vain this way so he could go for their jugulars some other time. Plus, he liked giving the Dishcloth Dames even more to gossip about.

.

Thinking of Chopper, Law laughed as if the sound was rationed—a clipped exhalation. The tanuki reminded him of his navigator.

“Bepo. Lord, Bepo got it into his head once to paint me. Maybe he wanted to practice so he could surprise some lucky Mink in the future, and who better to be his chump than his ferocious captain?”

Robin turned to him for a second, curious, before proceeding to the next toe. Her extra hands manipulated Law’s foot for the best access. Law’s own hand kept the book in place. She liked that silver band he sometimes wore on his wrist—a solid link—a flash of sky reflected in the metal.

“His fine motor skills aren’t the best. You’ve seen his maps. Shachi and Penguin thought I’d amputated my own toes without the benefit of a Room.” A rumble lifted Law's chest and then dissolved. He smiled easily. The book didn’t cover all of his face.  “He even dabbed a paw print on my heel.”

“He chose red?” She loved that flash of teeth.

“Mmm. So. I guess it’s black?”

Robin finished the last toenail and told him not to move his feet about for a while. She then drew up the recliner next to his, lay on it, leant on her side and looked across. Law could be asleep for all she knew.

.

“Oi, talk to me endling. Of course it’s black.”

Law’s lips twitched. Only Robin could get away with that.

“So needy, terminarch. How am I meant to do that without moving?”

They may as well have just called each other Flevance and Ohara. They did at times, but neither could be feeling too off-colour when they did, or the devil fruits would come out to play. The town names as nomenclatures were off-limits to anyone else.

“Take that book off your face at least. I know you can’t read it like that.”

“Your makeup bag’s not nearby, is it?”

“Just the toes today, Dr. Death.”

Good. He was only happy for modification to go so far. He sighed, grumbled, but lifted a hand and picked the book up by its spine, and rested it—still spreadeagled—on his chest. He blinked into the sun, then tipped his head her way. Not the most comfortable of positions.

“Can I sit up?”

The grey of Law’s irises were sometimes shot through with gold. She wondered what his parents had looked like. “Give it a few.”

He turned his face skyward again, his arm over his shut lids.

.

“How about Luffy?” she asked. Luffy was before island living, before Law’s casual feet days. If they’d ever played around with nail polish, she’d never seen the results.

Law groaned.

“He approached my nails as if they were made of seastone, his hand was that shaky.” The softness in tone betrayed the annoyance in his words. “For some reason he thought a pearly pink would suit? Maybe it reminded him of marbled steak or something? Of course, he had absolutely no patience.”

Law scratched at his sideburns with his spare hand.

“He slapped it on, forgot to cap the varnish, jumped on me, bringing the sheet with him, or whatever we were lying on, wherever we were. It smeared over everything; our clothes, or more accurately, my clothes. You know, Luffy somehow always escapes his own chaos—and then he declared the whole thing stupid and boring, as if I’d dreamt up the activity and forced it on him.” Incredulity hissed through the back of his teeth.

He tapped his earrings. "Somehow the polish even managed to get on these. Nami-ya probably talked him into the whole thing for a bet."

“And you let him?”

Law didn’t need to look at Robin to know her expression; amused and bemused.

“You choose your battles.”

“Mmm.” Her captain could be quite domineering. She wondered if they were the same earrings. It wouldn’t surprise her. She’d kept the same jewellery over the years, but added to her collection with each pirates' haul. The ones that Luffy didn’t somehow swap for food.

.

She sat up and twisted her neck. They needed to get going soon.

“Phoenix?”

“Still trying to unearth his kinks?”

“Now that you bring it up.”

Law’s smile, the one Robin and only a few others ever saw, made her lips curve.

“I paint for him at times. I mean, my own nails. He’s got a lapis grounding stone, and his flames are blue when he’s in Zoan form. I try to match those shades—a balance between the two. Other times, I paint for myself.”

“Does he notice?” Marco had a grounding stone? But then again, they all had their talismans.

“Sometimes.”

“You don’t tell him?”

“Not always. Other things are more pressing.”

“Does he know you’re a freak?”

“I thought that was you.”

.

Law paused for a second. He tipped his face Robin's way again, his hand still protecting his eyes. How come she got to sit up?

“The dogs have never liked it. And you know, all that waste. It’s not really hygienic in the clinic either.”

“You operate with your toes?”

Law laughed. “When I do my hands . . . It’s not hygienic.”

.

Robin cast a glance at her back yard – the trees that offered privacy from the neighbours, the small pond. She enjoyed life in the New World now Luffy was pirate king.

“The dogs don’t like it, but Bepo can handle it?”

“Well, he’s a freak, too. Minks wear makeup, right?”

Robin nodded. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

“Makeup?”

“Being a freak.”

“To the contrary, some of my best friends are freaks. You can’t all be Chopper.”

Law calls Robin a freak and gets away with it. heh. Perhaps. Anyway, I’ll put the link to the AO3 story as the source (just edited it in. This post has been up for long enough).  It’s actually about dogs and links back to another story, and is kinda sad, and features Robin, but is about Law and Marco, and there’s plenty of humour too. If you want to read it, be my guest. It’s an older one, written a few years ago. T-rated.

[deardragonbook]

How much did it cost me to self-publish my book on KDP?

So, you thought self-publishing on Amazon was free? 

You’d technically be correct actually. 

At least if you have a vast array of talents. 

But, that wasn’t my case and statistically speaking, it probably isn’t yours. So let’s get into it. 

There are six parts of your book that could cost you money: writing, editing, formatting, cover design, publishing costs and advertising. 

I wrote the book myself, so that part was completely free (other than years of time, obliviously). 

I was very lucky to have people close to me for beta reading so I didn’t have to pay anybody, I gave PDF copies to the younger readers and printed some copies on standard A4 paper for my family, this would have cost perhaps 1 euro between paper and ink. Add an extra 1 euro to this budget on post-its over a series of drafts. 

So far so good, formatting, again, I did this myself. You could pay somebody to do this and if you have money to spare, well, it’s tedious work, but it’s pretty easy. Amazon has several pages dedicated to explaining how to do this with several programs and other than being a bit fiddly it’s easy enough. 

Cover design. Okay, this is where the money goes. At least for me. I considered designing my own cover as I’ve said before, but a cover really is going to be a big selling point so unless you’re really confident in your abilities I have to recommend you commission a profesional. In my case, I went to fiver which is a site I’ve spent a lot of time on as a seller but never bought anything on. I commissioned Banana Art Studios and it cost me a total of 104,95 euros (applying a coupon). I think this is super cheap for the amazing cover I got! But it is the most expensive step, so be prepared for that! 

Publishing costs, well, like I said at the beginning, technically free... but, if like me as well as an ebook you are offering a paperback, I have to recommend buy at least one proof copy! A proof copy is basically just a printed copy that says no resale and allows you to check everything looks good. I had to buy two, the first copy my name was out of frame and the margins were too big, the second looked a lot more like I wanted it to, I also took the opportunity to order a different type of cover (glossy instead of mate) and different page colours (cream instead of white). Just to see which I preferred. Good thing I did because I ultimately went with glossy and cream coloured paper! They only charge you printing cost plus delivery (yes, even if you have prime), which came to about 13 euros each proof, so 26 euros for the two. 

Once you’ve pressed publish, you can order author copies at the same price, I ordered ten of these to give to me beta readers so this can be considered extra editing costs, 60 euros in total. 

Advertising, this again is another costly part of self-publishing, nobody else is going to sell your book! And platforms are hard to build, I still don’t know how to do that. But I do know a thing or two about marketing, right now I’m still adding up data and testing different sites, I’ll get back to you with more information later. But for now the most cost-effective site for me has been Pinterest, I’ve started of with a 10 euro budget and plan to increase once I’ve sold a couple more copies. I also used some ad credit Facebook gave me for free, but in twelve hours it pulled of less than Pinterest did in it’s first five minutes. So take that as you will. 

Let’s add this up (rounded up for simplicity sake): 

Writing....................0€

Editing....................62€

Formating..............0€

Cover Design..........105€

Publishing Costs.....26€

Advertising.............10€ (so far)

Total.......................203€

Is that a lot? Is that a little? Well, probably depends on who you are and your financial capacity. But to put that number into perspective let’s see how many copies I have to sell to make that money back! 

I sell my copies at about 5,99$ for Ebook and 14,99$ for Paperback. This results in royalties approximately 3€ per copy. 

So to make my money back I have to sell approximately 70 copies. 

And I’m not going to lie, that’s a pretty scary number. As of this moment I’ve sold three copies, which is amazing, I’m super happy to have sold any, because I’m not going to lie even thought I’m proud of my book, the scariest thing is will I sell even one? 

From what I’ve found online, and let’s be honest, this isn’t really trustworthy information, most KDP authors won’t sell much. Most will sell next to nothing. 

Do I expect to make this money back? 

Maybe, over the entire life-span of the book. But then you have to keep in mind taxes and other stuff. 

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, if you wrote a book, and querying isn’t going anywhere because the marketplace is over-saturated and you perhaps don’t fit the molde, and you really want to publish it, go ahead! It’s not that expensive and you can cut down on some of the costs I previously mentioned. But you should be prepared to lose money. 

I’m three days into this experience, I may make my money back, I may even make money, I’ll keep you all updated for sure! But I’m being realistic and not holding high expectations. 

I think the best way to help someone understand the difficulty of self-publishing and amazon specifically, is how little sales it takes to be a top seller. I’ve seen many authors proudly announce being best-sellers when only selling a couple of copies a day, what does this mean? It means most aren’t selling any. 

And that’s a reality you just need to be prepared for! 

Remember your first social media post? Bet nobody saw it! The same might happen to your book, it hurts more because it can take years to write, but that’s the reality of it. So, if you’re going in for money, maybe don’t. 

If you love writing with a passion and it’s not about the money but the book, then do! Self-publish! Whether I make my money back or not, just holding this book that I worked for years on in my hands is an experience I wouldn’t swap for the world. 

[awesome-the-c-s-portfolio]

Figure Drawing Workshop Part 3

For the third part of the figure drawing workshop we moved on from looking at bone structure and began to work from a live figure. The person we were drawing from was Paul Alexander who we were informed collaborates with queer life drawing classes in Birmingham the second Sunday of every month, Pauls style and dress sense provided us with a variety of shapes, textures and tones to work with while observing his anatomy, paying attention to his muscle groups and bone structure while in stood and seated positions. 

For the session I worked seated from a board base drawing on cartridge paper, Japanese rice paper and newsprint, and was provided with graphite and coloured pencils while being tasked consider specific features with each drawing. We also set different time frames to get us to consider what the important features were, which helped me to prioritise my time. This was my first time drawing from a male model which was a little unnerving to begin with but as the workshop progressed I felt more at ease and appreciative for what Paul was doing.

Warm-up exercise 

My first attempts were treated as a warmup exercise to help get me in to the right mind frame and to also better understand Paul’s body shape and posture. We began by marking down as much as we could with restricted time frame beginning with the top left with only one minute, then with the second drawing on the top right we had been given two minutes but were instructed to work with continuous line which due to the shapes and folds on his clothing was quite difficult to do. 

Finally, for the last drawing we had been provided with two contrasting colours (in my case green and purple) and by holding them together we were encouraged to capture the whole figure taking note of the textures displayed which was a new experience for me. I found the experience of this warm up task a little stressful and unsettling however it was still good to try working at a rapid pace, it helped me to break out of the idea that every line has to be right, which benefited me with the rest of my drawings.

Drawing 1

For my first complete drawing I have continued to work with the contrasting green and purple pencils on cartridge paper with a time limit of five minutes, for this pose Paul was stood holding an extending pole which gave an almost warrior/Shepard look which gave off a sense of power and wisdom. Working with two pencils side by side was quite fiddly and annoying however I like the separated misplaced look it has given off, it reminds me of a double exposed print that hasn’t been lined up correctly which I think had added an element of depth.

Furthermore, the lack of time forced me to be quicker with my marks which resulted in a looser looking outcome which I like, I think it adds a subtleness to the work which makes it easier on the eyes. This is something I’d be interested to experiment with further however I think this would work better using coloured pens instead.

Drawing’s 2 and 3

My second and third drawings have been produced on newsprint using a graphite stick, they both feature a very similar pose and have taken the same approach, the only difference between the two is that they have each been completed under different time frames. The first drawing was completed in five minutes and the second in ten and due to this you can clearly see which is the more developed, the first drawing I have managed to get the complete outline but the proportions and sizing are wrong, whereas within the second drawing I have captured his physique more accurately and I was able to make a start on adding on the shapes, tones and textures of his clothing.

The approach to these two was new to me, instead of holding the graphite stick straight we were asked to tilt it during application with the intention to block in the tones and shapes of his clothing which wasn’t as easy, for me but I liked the sketchiness of them. I was a bit disappointed with the graphite because it didn’t mark the way I thought it would, I was expecting it to give me a range of dark, bold, heavy lines but it just wasn’t happening, and as a result I think they both look quite dull.

Drawing 4

Drawings four has been produced on cartridge paper using a graphite stick with a time frame of five minutes, at this point Paul had changed his presentation to something more revealing which gave me a new selection   lines and tones to work with. I chose to work in landscape for this one due to the positioning of the pole Paul was holding, I wanted to get the whole setup in my drawing and thought this would work well for his pose. However, as I progressed I noticed that my drawing wouldn’t fill the page and that there was a likely chance of my drawing not fitting which was a little frustrating, however at least going forward I will know to consider what angle would work best for the subject matter. 

Drawing 5

Produced on newsprint this was an attempt to create an angular drawing where for twenty minutes I was instructed to guide all my lines using a ruler, I then followed this by spending ten minutes applying shade. This is probably my least favourite drawing of the session, I got two caught up trying to get the angles right and I’m not happy with my tones, I feel like I needed a lot more time to get my tonal work up to scratch and in regards to my line work it just looks stark. For future reference when working in this way I’d like to try something bolder and more minimal as I think it would be more eye catching and intriguing, another thought would be to add colour to create something a little more abstract which would add whole new tone to the work.

Drawing 6

With this piece I was given twenty minutes and the freedom to work in any style I wished, with this I kept things simple by working with pencil on cartridge to see if mark making with something more familiar would give me better results. Paul took a laying down pose leaning against a box in the centre of the room, I didn’t have the best angle to work from with this piece since he was facing away from me however I was quite happy about this because it got me to consider the outline and depth of Paul’s body without getting caught up in the details. Furthermore, I think the progression I was making was going well and that I had captured his form well, with a little more time I think the outcome could have looked good, though I’m still happy with how it is.

Drawing 7

For this piece we were asked to pay attention to the top half of Paul’s body by drawing his portrait, we had ten to twenty minutes to complete this with the option to work in any style and medium we wished. Since my previous drawings had been produced in graphite on either cartridge paper or newsprint I decided to try something different and went back to the Japanese rice paper I was introduced to during the previous workshop which I had difficulty with prior, but I was keen to try something different with it. Following the previous workshop, I was informed by my tutor that this material may be more suited to ink work, so going off that advice I decided to try out some graphic pens which contained alcohol-based dyestuff inks which I figured would give me some interesting effects. This is by far my favourite piece to come from the session, I was able to achieve accurate proportions and I think the graphic pens have added a rough looking aesthetic which I think looks great, especially with the use of red which has become the standout point of the drawing. I’m really happy I returned to this material and I’m keen to experiment with my graphic pens further, I think it could look cool to produce standalone promotional art of my characters in this style which I may try depending on the timing. 

I thought this part of the workshop was interesting but also harder than I expected as I haven’t drawn from a live model for some time, but with that being said I think the practice was beneficial. The experience got me to consider proportion and the structuring of a figure drawing however due to the time frames I struggled to capture Pauls anatomy correctly and most of my work remained unfinished due to this, therefore I think in future it would be beneficial for me to try and simplify my approach by not getting into the details right away. Perhaps I should begin figure drawings by marking out key points such as position and angle of shoulders, arms and legs in stick form and then build the body around them which could work depending on the timing. I thought Paul Alexander was great and I had admiration towards him for doing what he did.

[scp5000orwhatever]

Item#: SCP-5000 - "Lumina"

 Object held at Site - 19

 Object Class: Euclid

 Level access: 2

 Special Containment Procedures:

Item is allowed to wander facility freely but is restricted from Euclid and Keter sections unless in use of testing with other SCPs. Such testing is to be approved by the O5 committee. Item must return to containment at 22:00 otherwise.

Item is to be forced into containment under the following circumstances:

a) There is a containment breach

b) Item becomes hostile

c) Item is in direct violation of its restrictions i.e. In restricted zones without O5 approval

When item is in use for testing, it is to be accompanied by no less than 2 armed guards and a level 3 scientist.

Should item become hostile, Class A sedatives must be administered in a double dose immediately.

Containment is similar to the dorms used by SCP personnel and must be kept at a constant 5°C.

Item is prohibited from looking at any pornographic material unless in testing... Dr. Bright is forbidden from giving adult magazines or websites to item.  See incident report SCP-5000-20██-1 No wonder you guys are virgins. First no SCP brand porn, then no 1471, now I can't give 5000 some porn to look at? Come on! -Bright

 For the record, we are not virgins and you know that. Please refrain from adding unnecessary notes to SCP files. -O5-06

 Description: SCP is a humanoid female with the appearance of 25-27 years of age, standing 1.8m in height and weighing 83kg. Its skin is devoid of all pigmentation except for two black streaks running from under its eyes to its jawline. Item has silvery-white eyes, long black hair and wears a blue silk choker with a diamond and sapphire pendant resembling a crescent moon. Item often wears black dress pants, a black tank top and a black cloak with markings of unknown origin embroidered in the front on the left flap in gold thread. Item also wear metal cuffs that cover half of her forearms. Items temperature is 5°C and although it is not required that it eats, it has a preference to do so.

SCP - 5000 is capable of passing through solid matter without difficulty. Item has stated that it can also pass through living tissue but prefers not as it would be "unpleasant to both parties involved."

Item has also demonstrated repeated telepathic and telekinetic abilities and is also skilled in the tinkering of most technology, "upgrading" them as she sees fit. These upgrades are often more advanced than human technology has reached and is often useful to other residents of the facility.

  Addendum 5000.1

SCP - 5000 has been heard on multiple occasions singing three-part harmony with itself. This has lead researchers to believe it has more than one set of vocal cords, although this is not likely (see Addendum 5000.4).

Dr. Bright has been seen "jamming out" with SCP - 5000 and as this does not violate what he is not allowed to do, Dr. Bright is allowed and mildly encouraged to continue these interactions with the SCP when possible. A request has been sent to the O5 administration to give SCP a permanent instrument of its own.

 Addendum 5000.2

SCP - 5000 assisted in reestablishing containment of SCP - 173. Despite violating its restrictions, the O5 council has decided to withhold punishment and gave a verbal warning to SCP - 5000 instead, to which the item understood and conveyed apology, stating it wouldn't happen again.

 Addendum 5000.3

SCP-5000 was exposed to SCP-999 in an experiment. Upon contact with SCP-999, SCP-5000 started referring to itself as "mummy" and treating SCP-999 like a child. SCP-999s usual effects do not seem to last long with SCP-5000, as item will usually describe itself as feeling down within a couple days.

Addendum 5000.4 SCP-5000 underwent explorative surgery on its throat, revealing 4 sets of vocal cords, 3 distinctly human in shape, the 4th unknown. Upon waking from recovery, item was notably irritated and demanded to speak with the researcher who approved the surgery. The following interview logs are as follows. --------------------------------------------------------- Interviewer: Elijah Itkin

Interviewee: SCP-5000 [BEGIN LOG]

Date:██/██/████

Dr. Itkin: Hello SCP-5000- SCP-5000: (Interrupting) Just what the fuck did you think you were doing having me cut open like that? You realize you can just ask me a question, I'll be more than happy to answer it for you! That was completely unnecessary! 

Dr. Itkin: We were unaware of that. Other SCPs aren't as willing to speak about themselves. Save for one. SCP-5000: (Object rolls eyes) Oh please, spare me the platitudes. Your organization is based on shoot first, ask later ideology. Everyone knows it. I'm already well trusted here, I don't see why you couldn't have just come to my cell and ask me. I'm no 682. Dr. Itkin: Very well. During your surgery, the surgeon carrying out the procedure made note of your 4th set of vocal flaps. Unlike the other 3, they look inhuman. Could you- SCP-5000: (Interrupting) They're incapable of human sounds if that's what you're asking. They're required in speaking my species language. Id demonstrate, but it's out of range of your human hearing. Best I can describe the sound as is a series of chirrups, squeaks and clicks. You humans have no hope of learning such a thing. Dr. Itkin: No need to be rude. It's just a question. SCP-5000: Whos being rude? I'm stating an obvious fact that even you could see. Next question. Dr: Itkin: Very well. Your blood is not any colour I've seen, in fact from what I've been told, there's been speculation that it is related to SCP-035s corrosive liquid. Could you tell me what it is, exactly? SCP-5000: Well my blood has never eaten away at anything before. Just sort of sits there and spreads… Sorry about that by the way, I know your cleaning services were working away at wiping it up for days. It's zinc-based. The zinc turns my blood black just as iron turns yours red or copper turns- (pauses) turned… my late husband' blood green. As for its viscosity, I find it useful for ink on occasion. But that's just me being morbid. And yes, cleaning it is a pain in the ass, trust me, I've stained many garments. Why do you think I wear black? Dr. Itkin: Off-topic of my list… You were married before? SCP-5000: Hm? Oh, yea. He died about… 300ish years ago? I’d say I'm doing pretty good for someone who never received grief counselling. (Item falls silent for a time and an audible sigh is heard over the recording) Dr. Itkin: How old are you? If that isn't offensive… SCP-5000: Nah. Fuck, I couldn't give you an exact number… Big brother is the one who keeps track, not me but... Id say I'm getting close to hitting the big six-K. Tell you what. When my brother comes to throw me a party, I'll let you know. Maybe you can partake in the festivities! Dr. Itkin: Ill have to decline. SCP-5000: Shame. Marcus makes the best god damn chocolate cake you've ever had. More for me, I guess.

[END LOG]

---------------------------------

Incident Report SCP-5000-20██-1

SCP Involved: SCP-5000 Date: ██/██/20██

Location: Site-19, Break room Report prepared by Dr. Bright and Dr. Rights on the reaction of showing SCP-5000 [DATA EXPUNGED] pornography. Item became aroused and began secreting a pheromone undetectable to Dr. Rights, however, when inhaled by the male staff present in the room, caused arousal in said subjects. The scent was reported as being sweet in nature. Upon inhalation, subjects' sexual needs increased and attempted to “mate” with SCP-5000, who promptly declined and attempted to push away the affected personnel. Affected personnel were moved to sickbay and continued trying to “mate” with any female they came in contact with. Upon questioning, SCP-5000 informed female personnel that the effects of her pheromones could be negated with multiple orgasms. The resulting dopamine would flood receptors in the brain and push and push out the chemical compound of said pheromones. Affected subjects were permitted to [DATA EXPUNGED] until the effects had worn off, some returning to normal anywhere from 3 orgasms, upwards to 10. Subjects have shown no further side effects and have since been released to carry on with their previously assigned duties.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1200

Monday, February 12, 2018

 My old partner and dearly departed friend Ron Norton came up with the title of these weekly musings. I seem to remember that it was after I left Vancouver and The Comicshop and moved to Ottawa to manage The Silver Snail in 1990. I can't remember when I started numbering them but I was commenting on the comic books that I read for The Comicshpper, The Comicshop's monthly newsletter way before off the rack #1. This is some time during the 1980s so who knows what this latest off the rack should be numbered at. I've thought about quitting many times but a handful of people who read them every week keep me going. I'm grateful for their feedback and encouragement. Thanks to Chris R, Charles dL, Doug S, Tom Mc, and Ryan J. It looks like I'll stop when I'm no longer working.

 X-Men Red #1 - Tom Taylor (writer) Mahmud Asrar (art) Ive Svorcina (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). If you read the 5-issue mini Phoenix Resurrection you'll not be surprised that the original Jean Grey is back on the racks. If you didn't, you should read it to find out how she comes back from the dead, or you can just accept the fact that she's back. This debut opens with a familiar situation where the X-Men rescue a young mutant from a mob of anti-mutant non-mutants. This leads to a flashback to another mutant rescue and the scary notion fostered by the general population that all mutants must be eliminated. That's the cue for Jean to gather her Red Team: Nightcrawler, Namor, Wolverine/Laura and Honey Badger/Gabby. Including Namor was a surprise to me. I can see where Jean and the King of Atlantis will butt heads later. Most of this issue seemed like the same old mutants trying to live in a world that fears and hates them and it is, but then the villain is revealed and I want to see what the bad guy wants.

 Superman #40 - James Robinson (writer) Doug Mahnke (pencils) Jaime Mendoza & Scott Hanna (inks) Wil Quintana (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). The Last Days part 1. Mark your calendars, February 8 is the day that Krypton exploded. It's true. It says so in this comic book. This is a Superman and son story where Jon tags along to help save another planet on the verge of exploding. They run into a problem when they get there as the natives are not amenable to being saved. Me, I would have said suit yourselves, see you never and left them to their fate but not Superman. I would be a lousy super hero. I may mock this story but I really like Doug's art so I will keep reading.

 VS #1 - Ivan Brandon (writer) Esad Ribic (art) Nic Klein (colours) Aditya Bidikar (letters). That's Versus in case you're old like me and don't get what the title stands for. I pulled this off the rack for the visual feast that is any comic book with art by Esad Ribic. The story is similar to The Hunger Games but with teams of soldiers fighting each other for fame and glory. I suppose video gamers would enjoy this but I'm reading this one because of the art.

 Runaways #6 - Rainbow Rowell (writer) Kris Anka (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). Find Your Way Home part 6. This relaunch is starting out similarly to the original but instead of fighting evil parents they're fighting an evil grandparent. The Runaway that saves the day surprised me. I can't wait for Victor to get a body.

 Swamp Thing Winter Special #1 - There are two stories in this 80-page giant. The Talk of the Saints by Tom King (writer) Jason Fabok (art) Brad Anderson (colours) & Deron Bennett (letters) is swamp monster versus snow monster but not what you may think. It was actually a really cool story. The second story is a first issue of a new Swamp Thing series by Len Wein (writer) Kelley Jones (art) Michelle Madsen (colours) that was supposed to be the sequel to Swamp Thing: The Dead Don't Sleep the 6-issue mini that hit the racks in the spring of 2016. There is no letterer credit because the story is presented without words. Len had not completed a lettering script before he passed away. It is the power of his writing and Kelley's art that makes what you see a understandable story even without any words. Len's story pages are provided to fill things out for us and it's cool to see how Kelley brings the story to the pages of the comic book. The Swamp Thing is my favourite occult character because of all the creators that have told his stories.

 Avengers #679 - Al Ewing, Jim Zub & Mark Waid (writers) Kim Jacinto (art) David Curiel (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). No Surrender part 5. This issue clears up two mysteries. Who is the Grandmaster's opponent and why they are playing this game. The change in art styles was made less annoying because of the consistent colouring of David Curiel. I also noticed a difference in the writing too and you can see that Al Ewing is listed first in the writing credits this issue after Mark Waid had been during the first four. It's interesting to me that I noticed these differences.

 Infinity Countdown Adam Warlock #1 - Gerry Duggan (writer) Michael Allred (art) Laura Allred (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I've know Adam Warlock since he went by just plain Him. My favourite run of stories was when Jim Starlin drew Adam and all the weird and wonderful alien cast like Pip the Troll and Gamora. The character is tied to the soul gems and with the new Avengers movie focusing on Thanos and the soul gems in the Infinity Gauntlet it's time to exploit the heightened interest by putting a bunch of Infinity Countdown books on the racks. This one teams Warlock with Kang and when Kang is involved time travel is sure to follow. Ugh. If you're nostalgic for the comic books that were written in the late sixties you'll like this. I'm going to read the next part in Infinity Countdown Prime, which hits the racks on February 21, but if it's as stilted as this book I won't be impressed enough to read the rest unless they have creative teams that interest me.

 Daredevil #598 - Charles Soule (writer) Ron Garney (art) Matt Milla (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Ron Garney is not a flashy artist like Jim Lee but his gritty style really fits the urban setting of this book. Now that Wilson Fisk is the mayor of New York City he will be appointing various commissioners to help him run the place. It's very interesting to see who the big man is inviting to the table. Meanwhile the artist villain Muse is getting under the mayor's skin but it looks like the Kingpin has plans to deal with him that are sure to make things deadly for Daredevil. I love all the shenanigans.

 She-Hulk #162 - Mariko Tamaki (writer) Jahnoy Lindsay (art) Frederico Blee (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). The banner across the top of the cover says "Jen Walters Must Die". That's pretty ominous. What we have this issue is a psychotherapy session where we get to see where Jen's head is at. It results in a minor transformation that will change the character. I look forward to seeing what's next.

 Amazing Spider-Man #795 - Dan Slott & Christos Gage (writers) Mike Hawthorne (pencils) Terry Pallot (inks) Marte Gracia (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). Threat Level: Red part 2. What the hey? Loki is Sorcerer Supreme now? Then what is Doctor Strange up to? We find out what kind of red threat Spidey will be facing soon but the ads for Amazing Spider-Man #797 seems to indicate that it's only temporary. That kind of downplays the threat don't you think?

 Spider-Man #237 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Oscar Bazaldua (art) Brian Reber (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This issue is all about the difficulties with family ties. Miles and his evil uncle and Lana and her evil mother Bombshell don't see eye to eye but the adults are in control. You won't get Spider-Man fighting the Hobgoblin like it shows on the cover but Hobbie is in this issue at least.

 Motor Girl Volumes 1 & 2 - Terry Moore (story & art). I started reading the story of Samantha Locklear as floppies but had to stop partway through because the store could only order the few subscription service copies that was needed and not even an extra rack copy or else we would not make a profit. I'm glad that the whole thing was collected quickly and made available in these two trade paperbacks so that I could finish reading. Sam is a marine vet who served in Iraq and came home scarred both physically and emotionally. It's a story of her struggle to heal. It's got apes and aliens and is a whole lot of fun. One of the perks of working in a comic book store is that I can read them without having to pay for them. I bought Terry's Rachel Rising omnibus soft cover when that was available and I bought these too. He is one of the very few comic book creators that I will spend my hard earned money on.

[p-winggaming]

I know right? A big title like that hitting your face? I hope you read this guys, the game was not 100% easy to review as there is so much to note, criticize and praise. First things first, I do recommend Splatoon 2, and I do believe it is the reason to go out and buy a switch. Do I think the game has issues? Yes! but not any that diminish the game in any heavy areas. If you want to see my opinion in summary, skip to the bottom however I do recommend that you read the review if you are unsure on any parts of the game.

So, MTO is hitting back at you with his first of many in an actual organized schedule style launch! P-Wing Gaming will start to generate content on a regular basis, every Tuesday and Thursday so stay tuned for that! In the meantime, I am sitting here, watching Waterboy as I review this. Adam Sandler… Not always a great choice, but I enjoy Waterboy none the less. Without further ado, I welcome you to the amazing, the spectacular, and the frankly surprising, Splatoon 2!

WHAT IS SPLATOON 2?

  Splatoon 2 is a Multiplayer focused team based game with a few modes thrown in to give the game a more rounded appeal. The mains modes of Splatoon 2 have you trying to colour the battlefield with more of your colour than the enemy team. Teams are comprised of 4 players with 1 set ink colour. Games last not much longer than 3 minutes allowing this game to be played in short bursts, perfect for the gamer in a rush! There are some more multiplayer modes that have you capturing objectives by spraying ink on the battlefield or capturing an object by spraying ink on the battlefield. As you can tell, this game is fully of Ink! 2 hour slots are listed in a schedule giving you access to 2 new maps per mode rather than having all maps instantly available to choose from. Completing matches allows you to obtain money and experience allowing you to level up to access new modes and equipment and to also help you buy new equipment already available. Your equipment can also level up giving you access to new skills and abilities. Leveling yourself all the way up to level 10 unlocks the ranked mode for you also. Multiplayer is the key focus of Splatoon 2 here so don’t be surprised If I don’t divert too much into the other modes. Every 2 hours, the map cycle changes giving you access to new maps allowing the gameplay to stay Fresh.

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Splatoon 2 tries to flesh out its existence as a game with a few added modes and for the most part, succeeds. Splatoon 2 comes with a campaign styled mode where you have to take on the forces of the evil Octarians, splatting ink all over the place and collecting a few hidden items along the way. This gives you a bit of a background to all the going ons in Splatoon 2 and is fairly entertaining if not a little bit bland. All of the modes and features in the game are fully accessible via the games main hub, set in a town/city center. This even includes one of our companions from the last game, Marie from the Squid sisters. As with the last entry, memes are back and heavily featured in the hub, this time more detailed and more creative too. It’s also worth noting that the Squid Sisters have been replaced this time by Pearl and Marina, the new group on show. Both Pearl and Marina act as the hosts for splatfests and dish out all the news for the current map rotations in all the multiplayer modes.

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The other mode available is a horde based mode known as Salmon run, Brand new to Splatoon 2. Salmon run has you fighting waves of mutated fish with one of 4 weapons randomly allocated to you each round. The weapons are shared between you and your team mates and you are not given a choice in which weapon you are supplied with. Your task is to fill the quota of rare eggs in a race to capture as many as possible. You gain eggs by defeating bosses that appear throughout the waves, however i use the term boss very Loosely. The bosses are closer to different forms of enemies than bosses as most of them can be defeated by a few shots to a key point and have very easy strategies to tear apart. The game mode ups the difficulty by increasing the amount of eggs you need to have by the end of the wave as well as changing the battlefield size, hazards and even weather effects. If you sustain too much damage, you are reduced down to nothing but a life saving ring. When in this state, only your team can bring you back using their ink, however it is important to make sure at least one person stays alive otherwise the game is over. As per above, the maps available are offered on a cycle which changes roughly once a day. Completing games unlocks bonuses for your character allowing them to gain a lot of money, some rare equipment or even just a few tickets for the food van that I’ll talk about below.

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Splatoon 2 also has a shopping feature that allows you to buy goods from a selection of 6 different shops, selling you 6 Different types of goods. The goods are divided into Shoes, Tops, Hats, Weapons, Imported goods (from the mobile app) and food that provide you with boosts for multiplayer (such as XP boost or Money increase). Crust sean, the shrimp in charge of the food van just mentioned does not take money however! He will only accept food tokens that you have collected through the different modes.

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A mobile app also assists the game allowing users to check their previous matches, order new goods and check the current map rotation.

    WHAT I THINK….

So… the big answer you’ve been waiting for… Should you play Splatoon 2. The answer here is up to what type of gamer you are. For people that enjoy a good multiplayer that can be played in short bursts with the option of more competitive modes? Yes. For those looking for a more strategy based shooting game with a light hearted theme? Yes. For those looking for a deep story, epic action based multiplayer based on kill streaks and simulation style gameplay, I’d look elsewhere.

The truth is, I love Splatoon 2 and I believe it to be a massive improvement over the last entry however there are some points that steal it away from being the perfect game for everyone. As noted above, Splatoon 2 is not for people looking for deep combat, an involved story and heavy action sequences. Splatoon 2 targets a more cartoon theme with light tactic based gameplay with the extra modes feeling more tact on rather than fully fleshed out.

Single Player mode this time round gives you a new leader in the form of Marie of the squid sisters, involves Sheldon into the story and gives you deeper combat options in the form of more weapons and upgrades. The problem is that the gameplay is a direct repeat of what was done in the last game. Splatoon wasn’t ground breaking in the single player area and Splatoon 2 does little to change that. I found this mode to be more of a slog rather than something I optionally wanted to play. Every single time I jumped into the Single player, I was just getting hungry to jump straight back into the Multiplayer. I applaud the developers for trying to give the single player a stronger feel by adding more weapons and giving you the option to play all levels with all the weapons you unlock but it doesn’t change what the main single player campaign is; Boring, repetitive and dry. I’m glad that the mode is here however. There are certain members of the gaming community that may love this mode and It certainly gave me something to do when I was away from any accessible network but for me, I’m just glad the multiplayer is the real star here.

Going straight into the Multiplayer, you are greeted with a small task that really requires you to work well with your team. The idea is for the main mode is to cover the battlefield with more of your team’s colour than the opponents. A simple task but a great challenge depending on the team you have been given. The strengths, weaknesses and fun you can have with this mode depend on your ability to lose with honour, work with your team and accept your responsibility with each match. Splatoon 2 does not reward you for kills in this game and you will always receive more points for painting the battlefield. My advice for any newcomers is to avoid combat when not needed as it create an opportunity for the opposing team to distract and take you out of battle leaving your team down in numbers, unable to cover the ground work left behind. Splatoon 2 does one thing very right though, and that is rewarding you well even when you lose. Winning a round gives you a larger amount of Experience points and money however losing will still give you enough to progress and save. This is a great way to eliminate excluding new players of the game and allows them to gain enough money and levels to find the weapon that will allow them to play to their best levels. I cannot talk too much about the competitive modes of Splatoon 2 as I have yet to reach them however the objective based gameplay on offer ups the challenge of the standard modes by adding in capture the objective style modes.

Salmon Run is a real surprise guest in this game. Splatoon 2 is really only held up by this mode as I feel that if this was excluded, Splatoon 2 would feel nothing more than an update for the new console Nintendo has released. As described above, this is a horde type mode with various different rewards that are cycled depending on the online schedule available. I have been informed that this mode is not always available but to be honest, I have not felt excluded from the mode and its actually quite refreshing to have the different maps locked behind a time schedule. That’s one other thing I have to applaud Splatoon 2 for again, The rotation of maps and modes keeps the game tempting and interesting and always keeps me coming back for more. The same works for the rotation of weapons that are presented to you in this mode. The different weapons you are forced to use change the tactics that you can offer to your team and also offer you a chance to try out weapons you may not be too familiar with. Salmon Run does struggle from one common online problem and that is team mates. Team mates can hold you back from winning even if you are playing your best, but then again, Salmon run is not designed for you to be a lone wolf and requires you to work with one another to tackle all enemies that you are faced with. On the flip side, the game is quite short and lasts only 3 rounds allowing you to jump in and out quite quickly without wasting 10 – 15 minutes just to lose at the last stage. I also feel that Salmon Run gives you a deeper look into the lore of the Splatoon 2 World. Salmon Run is technically a Job that your character is paid for to participate in. All the maps are themed around toxic waste and dumps and really adds to the sometimes hinted at dystopian world that was set up in the first game. I honestly feel that if the Single Player focused more on this rather than the rehashed campaign of the first game, we really could have had a hit it out of the park game.

Character Customization is both limited and varied in Splatoon 2 giving you little difference with your character style (Being limited to a small selection of hair styles, a slightly larger selection of eye colour but no selection of ink preference, something I would love!) but allowing you to change all the clothing that you want to use. Clothing gives your character different skills and abilities allowing you to survive against more attacks, carry more ink or even move faster within enemy ink. To be honest with you, the abilities don’t make too much of a difference and you get into more of a “Fashion Souls” dilemma. I mean did you see my character above? I don’t even know the abilities but I know I love the look of him!

Weapon choice is a key part also, giving you different methods to take down enemies and mark up turf. Weapons range from short range but fast firing machine style guns to more extreme formats such as snipers, buckets and paint rollers. Each weapon also gives you a type of grenade to use (Of which there are many) and also give you a special ability to use when you get enough points in battle. Special abilities are not as much of a game changer as they were in the original and are directed to give the team more of a slight pull back rather than a complete game turn around.

  So after all this, How much do I recommend Splatoon 2… The answer is very highly, in fact enough to call it the first reason someone should go out and Buy a Nintendo Switch. I’ve enjoyed the other games I have such as Arms, BOTW and Mario Kart 8 DX, however this is the first game that I cannot stop playing, offers as great of an experience in both portable and on the big screen and honest offers the most for the average switch gamer. Nintendo have also announced that like the last entry, they will be providing the game with “At least a year of free updates” to keep players entertained and engaged.

    Well with that aside, I have been MTO and stay tuned for Thursday where we will be having our next piece of content listed on the site. PEACE!

  -MTO- Larger than life itself.

Splatoon 2 : The reason to buy a Switch I know right? A big title like that hitting your face? I hope you read this guys, the game was not 100% easy to review as there is so much to note, criticize and praise.