#an aside in parenthesis that is TWO PARAGRAPHS LONG.

[kinnbig]

ooh trick or treet!! 🎃

hello beloved here is an ArmKhun flavoured treat for you from a lil oneshot WIP I've had in my drafts for way too long 👀💖

It's the third outfit that does it.

Really, Tankhun isn't sure why he's surprised. The outfit is to die for. Tankhun looks incredible in it. He should almost certainly have anticipated some kind of reaction.

Perhaps it's different because it's just the two of them this evening. Usually, a bigger turnout is inspired by Tankhun's Pre-Party Styling Parties (wherein the afternoon before any excursion to Hum Bar (or really, to any function that Tankhun might care to attend - he's branching out these days, he's even been on a boat) is spent drinking cocktails and grazing on canapés and, most importantly, showcasing all of Tankhun's potential looks for the evening) - but today Chay has an audition, and Kinn and Porsche are away on business, and Pol was called away after barely ten minutes of partying (because one of his frankly ridiculous number of sisters rudely decided to give birth during Tankhun's gathering, which for some ungodly reason required Pol's presence) - and so now there's just Arm.

Arm, leaning against the wall in Tankhun's bedroom, wearing a surprisingly tasteful (albeit uninspiring) sky-blue button-up and holding a cocktail glass that no longer has a cocktail in it - because the entirety of said cocktail now finds itself staining the front of the aforementioned sky-blue shirt.

Tankhun had just swept aside the curtains of his dressing room to reveal his new outfit (his favourite so far; sheer, slinky mesh on top that clings exquisitely across his chest and waist and yoga-toned abs, if he does say so himself; expertly paired with a pair of flowy, delicately-patterned trousers with gorgeous corset detailing on the waistband; heeled, glittery boots; and a selection of fine silver jewellery, including a stunning body-chain that fastens quite eye-catchingly against his throat and waist), and Arm had looked up as he entered and promptly spilled his drink all over himself.

The thing is, Arm doesn't really even seem to have noticed. His eyes have gone very wide, and Tankhun can feel them on him; feel the heat of Arm's gaze on his skin as it traverses over him; feel Arm taking in the dark smudge of kohl around his eyes, the cling of shimmery black mesh to his torso, the caress of the delicate silver chain against his throat and sternum and waist - and Tankhun knows he looks good, of course he does, but the way Arm is looking at him stirs something molten and exhilarating deep within his gut.His blood seems to crackle.

Arm wants him.

It creeps through his veins, heady and powerful and intoxicating. Arm wants him, and it's so incredibly, electrifyingly perfect, because Tankhun has wanted Arm since the night he took off his clothes in Yok's bar.

(Or at least, the night Arm took off his clothes in Yok's bar is when Tankhun first allowed himself to admit that he wanted Arm; an earnest agreement to Yok’s drunken, filthy confession, whispered through a conspiratorial grin into Tankhun's ear, "I'd let that bodyguard of yours do more than just guard my body, I'll tell you that much," - but in truth, if he thinks about it: it's been longer than that. Much longer.

If Tankhun is honest with himself, he knows that this clawing, aching want has been simmering inside of him for so long that it feels perfectly at home in his rib cage; woven into the very fibre of his being; part of every single cell in his body as if each one had been designed to contain it - as if deep down, at his core, Tankhun had been built to yearn. To long. Like this. For him.)

Now, Arm stares at him with unmistakable desire, and Tankhun stills, for a moment, and lets the thrill of it hum down his spine; shuddered and singing and stuttered like wind-chimes in the breeze.

And then he tuts. "Oh," he says, and Arm startles at the sound, his eyes snapping to meet Tankhun's before abruptly dropping again, embarrassed, a pink flush rising high on his cheekbones as he inspects the damage to his shirt, "this won't do at all."

✨🍬 fic writer ask box trick-or-treat! 🍬✨

[fictitioustale]

PUNCTUATION

Having perfect punctuation is difficult. No one gets it right, and that’s okay. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn how to use proper punctuation. Afterall, punctuation is what makes or breaks a book.

You won’t believe the several books I have come across that make you want to start reading from their description, layout, and aesthetic and then you read the first chapter and a huge bucket of cringe is dumped on you.

The sentences would be rough, have the wrong your or you’re, which is a huge pet peeve of mine, and the punctuation... it’s a hot mess. It makes the writer in me want to edit the whole book; I kid you not.

punctuation you should know.

& - Ampersand. Used to represent the word ‘and’.

‘ – Apostrophe. Used to show possession, to construct contractions and to make odd plurals.

: - Colon. Used after a complete statement to introduce a series of items.

, - Comma. Used mainly to indicate a brief pause.

- - Dash. Used to emphasize words or phrases and to summarize ideas.

… - Ellipsis. Used to indicate a pause or a trail of thought

! – Exclamation Mark. Used after an interjection or to indicate strong feelings.

. – Period. Used at the end of a complete declarative sentence.

( ) – Parenthesis. Used to set off additional info.

? – Question Mark. Used to indicate a direct query.

“ “ – Quotation Marks. Used to set off speech, a quotation, a phrase, or a word.

; - Semicolon. Used to link two independent clause that are closely related.

– - Em-dashes. Used to indicate a switch in focus.

why should you use punctuation?

You are probably wondering, why should I use punctuation when a lot of people couldn't care less about it? Well, Punctuation fills our writing and lets the reader know how the sentence should be read.

commas

Adding a comma is an intentional choice, a moment where you are asking the read to stop, sit up and notice – calling attention to the first part of a sentence or to make them feel an emotion like pausing awkwardly to show the awkwardness in the scene. Read your work out loud as you have written it, and then read it as you intent it to sound. Ask yourself: are they different? If so, add or subtract the commas where desired.

fullstop

Think about any moment in life where you were overcome by emotion that it was quite near impossible to form a complete thought. Using periods to end a sentence, to bring it to a ‘’full stop’’, can indicate that inability to process, like you’ve gone numb.

quotation marks

Consistency, quotation marks and dialogue.

The perfect combo.

Using or not using quotes, identing, breaking paragraphs and all the other rules surrounding dialogue affect style as much as tone does and, in this case, you need to ask yourself how you want the words to look like on the page. One line, no quotation marks at all? Or do you want to achieve an at-a-loss feeling.

It must be done with intention, like the commas, you can read your work aloud as it is written then again with how you intend it to be read.

em-dashes, colons & parentheses

These three have a similar goal to achieve when it comes to creative writing. As long as you don’t overuse them, its very difficult to misuse them.

Do you want your narrator to remark his or her thoughts all the time? Em-dash!

Do you want to distinctively expand a thought and make it seem like an awaited reveal and important detail? Use a colon!

Do you want to pull your readers aside, add an alternative viewpoint or let the readers in on something special that only they know and no one else and tell a story within a story? Parentheses!

These three will bring out the voice of a particular character or narrator and make your writing lively. Playing around with them and adding a few em-dashes there and here might bring out a new side to your story that you were unaware it was even there.

save a life, use punctuation

Now that I've shown you how to break some rules; I'm going to show you some rules to follow because, quite literally, correct punctuation saves lives.

all punctuations must be parallel.

When a main clause is interrupted with a comma or dash, you have to use the same punctuation marks at the end as well. Example: the five of them, known to partake in illegal activities, were spotted around the scene earlier that day.

at the end of a clause, you have to include a colon.

When a main clause is interrupted with a comma or dash, you have to use the same punctuation marks at the end as well. Example: the five of them, known to partake in illegal activities, were spotted around the scene earlier that day.

semicolons are used to equal emphasis.

To connection two related independent clause in a compound sentence, you can use a semicolon as a sub to a coordinating conjunction. Example: lucy answered the question hurriedly; she was busy.

Punctuation can be exhausting; its true but, in the end, it will impact your story for the better and now that you’ve got the basics in your toolbox, you can begin to play around, alter them, and intentionally manipulate punctuation for the better in your writing. Remember to always research when in doubt and sometimes, go with the flow and it will work out for the better. Although its easier said and almost never done, understanding the important of punctuation and perfecting your punctuation game will make your reader at ease and not have to read more than once to understand what you meant.

we did our research, be sure to do yours! here's our links for reference to get you started.

Punctuation for Writers | Jericho Writers (2021). Available at: https://jerichowriters.com/punctuation-writers/ [Accessed: September 2023].

MasterClass, 2022. How to Use Punctuation: 14 Rules Every Writer Must Know. [Online] Available at: https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-use-punctuation [Accessed September 2023].

Punctuation: The writers full guide! (2023). Available at: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/punctuation-writers-full-guide-learnlaughspeak/ [Accessed: September 2023].

[willshipanything-blog]

I'm going to make one further post about this, then I'm done. I'm not going to change people's minds if they're already convinced otherwise. I've already been found guilty in their eyes.

Other people can make up their own minds on the matter.

I'm just gonna go in order of the issues addressed in the posts calling me out (this will not be as lengthy as that).

Yes, I started this fic, in part, because of Penny. I loved the film, the character of the Grabber. But there were not many fics that weren't based around the boys (which is…not for me thanks). Her fic Into the Black was brilliant, and there were a few more that really inspired me to write a grabber x reader. Most of the fics I read on AO3 are dark ones, usually involving the same sorts of themes as that. I'd been wanting to write for ages, and I thought I could add something here. I wanted to do a Stockholm syndrome type route as I find it really fascinating. That was always the plan. Obviously, that's a slow burn to do accurately so yes, those initial scenes are similar, but also similar to other Grabber x Reader fics. Grabbers gonna grab, you know?

So yeah, Penny's fic and others were a springboard for the idea, but not style. I don't know how to emulate writing style. I can't say it any other way- I write how I write. Sorry if you perceive it as similar.

Now I don't want this to come of as cruel, anything but. You've gone from nauseous to angry. I've gone from upset to genuinely incredulous, and find it quite funny. Sorry if the use of that word lessens it, but that's how I feel how absurd this whole thing is.

OK. Words. Vocab? In a 60,000 fic and counting, I shouldn't use words? None of these words are unknown to me. Penny's fic uses words I've had to literally Google. Every single word I've written has either come from my head, or my best friend thesaurus.com. And some verbatim phrases? I don't think I've ever used the word "wreak" without "havoc", "brute" without "force/strength". Words like particularly? Quite? Whilst? I no longer have words with which to retort. These are basic adverbs/conjunctions.

Scenes. Most scenes in my fic, and others to be honest, are quite literally a bingo cards of clichés. Bathroom scene? Check. Creepy stalker/watching asleep? Done. God forbid when I release my chapter of a candlelit dinner and slow dancing….

Some motifs within my story were planned well ahead. I've written 60K words in two months, because I have a detailed plan that took 2 weeks before writing Chapter 1. The rings? Always part of the plan. The unmasking, the same. When I read that part of Penny's fic I thought, shit, I'm planning that too. But I'm not changing something that's a major plot point of my story.

Agreed, most of these scenes aren't original because 1. They're based very loosely on what I saw of the grabber in the film and 2. All kidnapper x reader stories have these tropes. No one is as original as they think they are. I don't get the obsession of being original- this is FanFiction. It's based off others' intellectual property. No stories or art are ever truly unique. (By no means a confession that I've taken words out of anyone's mouth, but just a message I thought to share). It's not high art. It's a plotted, yet smutty story based on a popular horror film, adding in my own personal kinks. Why complicate things?

The other main thing seemed to be structure. I've talked about this- it's commas, colons, dashes, paragraphing and parenthesis (brackets). If I don't use these, with my run on sentences, it doesn't read well. Also, I like the style of long sentences, the way they flow, the way they contrast against shorter ones straight after. Like this. That's how rhythmic writing works.

And there it is. Likes and comments. If you think my work is ripped off yours, add my likes and hits and comments to your tally. I'm happy to get comments on my fic, and will always respond, but like I said, I started this fic for my pleasure. As an aside, many of the comments pertain to the stockholm syndrome element and how this affects the reader in the story. People like the trope, as do I. I'm also posting frequently which helps. The same happened over summer when Into the Black got a huge amount of interest from what I remember. And from what I can see, Penny's stories have, like, tons of likes and in-depth comments? So that seems a moot point. Again, sorry that you feel like you "deserve" the comments my fic has gotten.

I'm gonna say it one last time. I have never stolen or copied work. I'm a grown fucking adult with very few fragilities. I'm not pathetic enough to rifle through fics looking for phrases or ideas to copy. I'm proud enough to say I like my story and I think my writing has improved since starting this fic.

Read my fic. Read Penny's. Read both or neither. Make up your own minds, it's now out of my hands to convince anyone and I'm washing my hands of it, not throwing anymore fuel into this fire.

For all fans of all types of fanfics out there, happy reading! (Whatever it is that you wanna read)

X

P.s. I'm not reblogging this, reposting or replying here. Just spam me a message if you want to chat, always happy to talk! ✌️

[swaps55]

Eulogia

With MELE imminent, sharing a scene I wrote a long time ago, in which Kaidan Alenko mourns Ashley Williams after Virmire, and discovers he isn’t mourning alone. 

From here. 

~

The cargo bay was quiet when the elevator doors opened. Most of the crew had dispersed to the Citadel, leaving Kaidan mercifully alone in the cavernous space. Slowly he made his way towards the lockers, the scar tissue and healing sinews in his abdomen like a knot that someone had doused with gasoline and set on fire.

But still healing.  

(This is it. This is how I’m going to die.)

Kaidan exhaled.

If he closed his eyes he could still see the numbers in his HUD, always hovering right above zero, a perpetuating terminus never quite reached, never quite avoided.

When he reached the lockers he stopped, hand halfway to the one marked, Williams, A.

If he went by the book this should be Gladstone’s job. There was no reason it shouldn’t be Gladstone’s job.

(You know it’s the right choice.)

But it wasn’t Gladstone’s job.

The click of the locker door echoed loud enough that he flinched before drawing in a deep breath and pulling it all the way open. She hadn’t lied about her uniforms. Every shirt hung crisp and straight on its hanger, in sharp contrast to the chaotic pile of belongings tossed heedlessly on the ground below it. The pile was so impressive he was actually afraid to take anything out, for fear it would cause an outright avalanche. In spite of himself he shook his head and smiled a little.

“Somehow this is exactly what I expected from you,” he said under his breath. He heard a creak behind him and whipped his head around, heart rate thudding as though he expected to find her peering over his shoulder, arms crossed, eyebrow raised. A flush crept up the back of his neck.

Of course there was nothing. Ashley was dead.

His gripped the locker door until his knuckles whitened, leaned his forehead briefly against it. The metal felt cool and hard against his skin. He swallowed once. Twice.  

Eventually he straightened with a sigh, tugging at his uniform and rolling his shoulder, as though he could somehow shake Ashley off like working out a crick in his neck.  By the time his fingers brushed the cloth of her fatigues their subtle quiver had been swallowed up by the hard-earned discipline he’d practiced so diligently ever since Jump Zero.

(Kaidan Alenko. Always looking for the sure thing. Everything needs to be perfectly defined and spelled out for you, doesn’t it? Sometimes the unknown can be a little exciting, too.)

A static spark stung his finger as he emptied the hangers. He jerked his hand back, muttering, used to the burn, never the timing. Slowly he reached back in, painstakingly folding each shirt with precision he hadn’t employed since Basic.

(You find a wrinkle in my uniform and I’ll clean your pistol for a month.)

He made each crease razor sharp. Not a wrinkle to be found.

Once the clothing had been stored, he began taking apart the pile she had accumulated in her locker. Datapads with poetry. She liked Cummings and Yeats, Plath and Elizabeth Bishop. He remembered Joker saying something about Heinlein. Kaidan hadn’t intended to look through them, but shortly he found himself cross-legged on the floor, skimming through lines and verses. It was easy to tell her favorites – she’d annotated them heavily. Underlined phrases, personal reflections. In some cases she’d made notes that he didn’t understand, such as the one beside a line from a poem by Elizabeth Browning that simply read, Josh, and in parenthesis (the little shit).

She also had a copy of the Bible, which gave him pause. It wasn’t a datapad either but an actual book, pages dog-eared, corners bent and turned down, small makeshift bookmarks such as scraps of paper, paper clips, even a hair tie, sticking out at all angles. Like the datapads it was covered in notes, but all of these handwritten, in scripts of multiple hands. Some tiny and neat, others broad and flowing. Though he didn’t think he’d ever seen a sample of Ashley’s handwriting he immediately found one he thought had to be hers – small but hurried, with the occasional loopy flourish. It tended to start out neat, but quickly deteriorated when her hand couldn’t keep up with her thoughts, until it was nearly illegible.

The inside cover contained four handwritten paragraphs, each in a different script that he recognized from the subsequent pages. Each a note from parent to child, passing the heirloom on with messages of faith and love. Four generations of Williams, right there on one page.

Kaidan ran his fingers across the script, tracing the shallow grooves the pen made against the paper. General David Williams, of Shanxi infamy, bequeathing it to his son Matthew Williams, with a note.

Our faith is our legacy. We keep to it and carry on, no matter the cost. And when that task is difficult, remember those who’ve walked a harder road with lesser reward. We are blessed. I am blessed. Because I have you.

Serviceman Williams then wrote to his daughter, There’s a great wide universe out there waiting for you. I hope you explore it to the fullest. If you ever get lost, look here and see if you can’t find your way. Remember, kiddo. Ad aspera per astra.

Kaidan’s hands loosened, allowing the book’s spine to droop. A few pages whispered past his thumb. The hair tie bookmark fell out, ghosting to the floor without fanfare.

He snatched it up with a hot flash of guilt and held it aloft. What page did it come from? What place had he lost? How important had it been?

He didn’t know.

There was so much he didn’t know. So much he’d never learn.

He stared at the hair tie. Nothing more than a simple strip of dark blue elastic, still twined with a few strands of long, dark brown hair. She probably had a few dozen just like it. She’d worn two in her hair, at all times. One to pull it back into a ponytail, one to wrap around the thick twist of her bun and secure it in place. Usually she kept a third around her wrist, just for emergencies.

But they were never enough to hold back those few stubborn, errant strands that inevitably pulled free to waft about her face.

Moisture burned the corner of his eyes. His fingers curled around the small token, and he put his newly formed fist to his mouth to stifle the sound brewing in his throat. One choked sob got through before he swallowed the rest back, chest aching from the effort. He wicked a thumb across his eyes, hastily tucked the hair tie back between the pages and set the book aside.

This wasn’t his. The grief and memories trapped within the Bible’s covers were for her family, not for him.

But it shouldn’t be for anyone. It should be his things exposed to the harsh light of the cargo bay, meticulously sorted and stored, itemized on a manifest and marked for shipping back to Vancouver, care of Marc and Lora Alenko.

His throat tightened, hitching breath loud against the silent backdrop of the cargo bay. Not even the sound of the engines to provide some white noise.

Nothing like this would be found among his own belongings. He spoke to his folks a couple of times a year. Hadn’t been back to Vancouver in almost three. When he did it tended to be strained small talk and careful avoidance of anything to do with the mutated eezo nodes lurking under his skin. He’d actually thought running off to the Alliance might help. Follow in his father’s footstep. Give them something in common. That, of course, and he’d had nowhere else to go.

Would his own family have mourned him the way Ashley Williams’ would mourn her?

Would she?

Stop.

He raked a hand through his hair, fingers eventually coming to rest against his forehead. His head felt heavy. Too heavy to hold up, like a lead weight.

(They’re more important. We’re as good as dead up here anyway.)

He wondered who would inherit the Bible now that Ashley was gone. One of her sisters, maybe. Sisters who probably had yet to learn about what had happened down on Virmire.

(Kaidan, what the hell are you doing?)

(This bomb is going off! No matter what.)

No matter what. 0.00. He’d been ready for it. Ready for anything. Except Shepard’s hand, grabbing him by the arm.

Further down in the pile he found smaller items. Toiletries. A stuffed hanar, of all things. A bottle of liquor she must have picked up on Noveria.

(Just for the record, I’d look damn good in a dress.)

He swallowed against a lump in his throat, chest constricting. He could see her so clearly, standing at the railing in Port Hanshan, alternating between slouching and gripping the rail with her hands and leaning back on her heels.

(I’m not most people.)

No. She hadn’t been.

He found some packing material for the liquor. It was scotch, an asari brand, maybe purchased to share with Liara. Why it hadn’t been drunk he couldn’t say. Maybe she just ran out of time.  

Next was a holo album containing a few photos. People he didn’t recognize. A woman that looked too much like her not to be her mother. A young girl with a grin he recognized from those brief moments in the comm room. Before…

Stop!

Kaidan put the holo aside, then rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. Took a deep breath in. Let it out slow. Clamped his eyes shut. For a moment, everything shook. His hands. The air in his lungs. His skin felt hot, but prickled with gooseflesh.  

Breathe in. Breathe out.  

Eventually he opened his eyes. Went back to the pile. Finish it, marine. Don’t leave her hanging.

In all her possessions were scant, just what she’d been able to obtain or accumulate since they’d picked her up on Eden Prime. In fact, how the Bible and holo album had even managed to catch up with her struck him as a bit of a mystery.

But when he got to the bottom of the pile his hand froze, mouth dry as a shock of white hot cold strummed the length of his spine, numbness dulling his fingers until they felt thick and clumsy.

It shouldn’t have surprised him. After all, she’d died in her combat gear. Not her fatigues. Of course they would be here.

This time no amount of discipline could overcome his shaking hands as he picked one up and turned it over in his palms.

A neon green boot with matching laces, so bright they nearly glowed in the dim light of the cargo bay.

His gut clenched, chest so tight he couldn’t breathe, the edges of his vision blurring until something hot and wet spilled over onto his cheeks.

(Come on.)

(Whoa, where are we going? Anderson said to wait here.)

(Come on, LT. Think we’ll ever get to poke around here again? Live a little.)

Only he hadn’t. She’d been right there. Right there. And he hadn’t.  

(Tell me you haven’t thought about this.)

(Thinking’s not the same as doing. Maybe, once all this is behind us…)

He dropped the boot, back slamming against the lockers as he buried his head in his hands, the grief that he’d stored down deep in his chest ever since that timer reached zero breaching the damn in a flood of hot tears. He wept himself hollow, hot, swollen and aching, exhaustion creeping in until he felt it laying heavily over his skin, behind his eyes, in the pit of his stomach. Then he just sat silent, eyes red and heavy, arms resting on his knees.

A hulking shape appeared above him. Had he not felt so drained he might have cared more about discovering he hadn’t been alone after all. But when Wrex’s red, horny crest came into view he met the krogan’s fierce stare without shame. Whatever the krogan had to say, he was beyond giving a damn.

“She was a warrior worth mourning,” Wrex said.

Kaidan straightened his posture with mild surprise, but said nothing.

“Shepard chose his companions well. Even those I at first didn’t give him credit for.” He offered a scaly hand, which Kaidan accepted warily. Wrex hauled him effortlessly to his feet, and gave him a brusque nod.

“You are krantt.”

Kaidan wasn’t sure how to respond, but Wrex saved him the trouble by ambling away without further comment. The krogan had been nearly invisible since their return from Virmire. After finding him here Kaidan wasn’t even sure if he’d even left the ship.

He hadn’t considered the possibility that a krogan might mourn a human soldier. But Ashley…had that effect on people.

With a wipe of his eyes Kaidan began piling Ashley’s things into a crate. Once the locker was empty he sealed it, then closed the crate up as well and entered it into the ship’s inventory for the requisitions offer to offload and send to her family. By the time he finished, his grief had been replaced by grim, dogged resolve.

We’re coming for you, Saren. May God help you, you bastard.  

[hecallsmehischild]

Grieving the Good

Beyond Boundaries by Dr. John Townsend claims there are six components for grieving a lost relationship. Most of the steps are already inherent to how I deal with pain, and I recognized each as I went through them. One, however, took me off guard. It makes sense, but it hadn’t been said to me before.

3. Name what you valued.

When you value someone, you affirm that he or she is important to you. When the connection is over, there are certain aspects of the person and the relationship that you miss the most. There are the values you have to grieve. {List of examples follows}

Sometimes, the value you need to grieve is connected to specific memories as well. It could be a trip you took or a private joke you shared. It might be a time of deep intimacy in which you were very close. Perhaps it was good times with the family.

Why is it important to name the specific things you valued? Because you must say good-bye to the entire person, not simply the negative parts of the person. You cannot walk away from the things you disliked, which may be the things that ended the relationship, without also saying goodbye to the things you loved as well. A half grief is never a healing grief.

It has been seven months since I ended a ten year friendship. Things have been better. I feel more healing every week that goes by. However, I am still stuck some days. I still cycle fruitlessly through each thing that hurt me. In my head, I argue and shout and scream until I’m acknowledged. I deliver biting, sarcastic lines designed to cut. I make it so that this time, I’m not the one in a thousand pieces on the floor.

I can’t seem to move on from this simmering anger on the back burner. I want it to protect me, but I know that’s not what it will do. It will turn into bitterness and a permanent wall that will hinder me from connecting to new people in my life. I also know, though, that if I try to suppress or ignore it, it will come back to bite me in other nasty ways down the line. So I continue to try and find ways of legitimately dealing with it, torn between letting it run its course and trying to find ways to let go.

I have grieved the negative parts and events for months, now, though I have not publicly disclosed all the specific events that led to this dissolution. It is time to grieve the good. I will grieve the good without asking which parts were lies and which were truths, because I’ve already asked myself that untold times and there is no answer to be had. At the time, it was all true, and I will grieve that.

My friend,

You are one of the two people that I know who writes at what I call a college-Lit-class-level. It’s a very specific compliment that carries a great deal of my awe. I know many truly wonderful writers who floor me every time I read their work. But I do believe your work, if published, could be taught in college classes. Not everyone would get it. You probably will not have a broad readership. It took me years of reading your writing to start to understand what you were getting at. It’s a small niche, but people who understand what you’re saying, well. Their conscience will be smitten. Your wordplay and sensory overload descriptions are brilliant. I will miss getting to read your work in advance and offering what I could to the editing process. I will miss cheering every time you got accepted for publication. I will miss collecting any printed piece you got published and begging for your autograph. I grieve that I will never hold your published novel and say, “See? I knew you could do it.” I still know you can.

We made two books together. Did you know how fun that was? Yes, there was some pain in the process, but we made two children’s books. You crafted two lovely stories. You weighed in on design ideas and I illustrated them. I am much more comfortable with my tablet and Art Rage after 9 and 6 months spent on the respective books. I have some concept of character design, simply by doing it over and over. This isn’t something I ever sought to pursue myself, but I learned a little of it through trial and error and repetition. Perhaps you will take the stories and have someone else illustrate them for publication. That is okay. I have my copies. They are the only two I can’t part with, even now. I will miss creating children’s books with you, friend. I grieve the ones we will never make. I grieve these ones will never be seen, but for the few copies that exist among friends and ourselves.

I miss sharing music with you, trying to find songs you would enjoy and occasionally finding for you one you’d searched for without success. I will never hear many of the songs you would have sent me, a lifetime of accumulated musical taste we could have traded.

I miss your passionate conversation about topics that interested you. You were never annoying, in spite of your concerns about being so. I could have listened to talk about your passions for hours. I miss how, when we got together, we could (and did) literally talk for hours, as if jamming together all the time we hadn’t spent together. I miss our long-distance communication. The wall-o-text emails. The few months we did Marco Polo, when we thought it would revolutionize our communication to be able to pick up on tone and facial expression. I miss getting to show you the cool little mundane things about my day. I grieve the loss of our communication.

You and I shared our deep sorrows and victories. We shared vulnerability and acceptance. We both mourned friendships that didn’t last or people who used us and wondered why people were so quick to cast loyal friends aside. I thought I could talk to you about anything and everything that hurt. I kept that belief very shielded from the things I knew I absolutely could not bring to you. Fortified heavily with denial was the belief that you were a safe person, and during the time I believed it, it was a good thing for me. I grieve the loss of that. I grieve the loss of trusting that you were really going to tell me the truth once you confessed to your lies, and that there were and would be no more lies between us.

I saw a great beauty in you, and I wanted so desperately to see that beauty bloom and grow, and to have been a small part of that because I felt you were so much wiser, smarter, more talented than me. I grieve that I will never see what becomes of you in this life up close. I hope, desperately, that you do heal and grow.

Once, when I really needed it, you stood up for me. Though details have come into question, now, in that moment I fully believed I needed it, and you were there for me. In the very early years of our friendship, you provided a friendly and safe-feeling place to talk with you. We talked about anything and everything. I grieve that.

I grieve the gifts I could not keep, chosen with care for every birthday and every Christmas. I grieve the joy I took in picking out gifts for you as well.

You loaned me your knowledge. Knowledge about health and food, theology and psychology. Book recommendations that were dead on what I needed to know and what my brain was able to process correctly. Articles you sent that made you think of me. You have had your head more in the real world than I ever cared to, and when I was stymied about how to even research, you shared your store of collected knowledge with me.

You had such insight. I felt that you “saw” me, and you phrased what you saw in me all so beautifully. I thought I was so fortunate to be friends with someone like you, who would point out my strengths in such a healing way. Do you even comprehend what a balm your words can be, when you want?

I remember playing the What-Does-M-See game. Because you said you could see the spiritual realm. Now I don’t know what to believe, but at the time, I was always in awe when you saw or described something. Especially if it was about me, and especially if it was accurate to something in my life.

I miss praying with you in the early days, when we first got to be prayer partners in the huge house.

I’d never had a delicious vegan meal before. You astounded me by cooking incredible savory 100% vegan dishes. And I got to cook one dish for you that you fell in love with. And even when we lived apart, it was fun to cook with you over Skype, creating the same dish across several states’ distance.

I’d only recently begun reading aloud books for you. Books I thought spoke to your situation, or books that I hoped held some answers for you. I grieve that I will not be able to share with you like you shared with me.

Slumbertale was a short story born out of our friendship. I wanted to sustain you from week to week. Give you something to look forward to. I miss coming up with a new few paragraphs of the story each week and waiting for your reaction to the next twist in the tale. I miss picking out a weekly treat to mail you. I miss making gestures of Philia (deep friendship)--nearly Storge (familial)--love and having them received. I grieve the loss of the times I was able to shine a little light into the darkness for you.

You actually got me to like parenthesis. With a super creative poem. How even? I was so anti-parenthesis in fiction and storytelling, but you did the thing. I liked it so much I had to literally paint the poem.

Some of my most beautiful artwork and poetry were inspired by something you said or wrote, or a part of who you were. You influenced my poetry style. You twined into my craft sphere. We even started a mini-partnership about my trees, remember? I wanted to start writing micro-fiction, but was having a hard time titling the trees. Your titles were spot on and creative and always inspired a fabulous story. I offered $2 per title if the tree sold because I wanted to. Now I title them myself, and have only just returned to the micro-fiction, because the grief was so sharp.

I believed you were someone worth flying out for on as short notice as I could afford during the absolute worst times. I did this three times. I grieve being able to hold the belief that you deserved this, and much more, from me. I grieve the image of you that I had and refused to release for so long.

I grieve good times in Seattle, the city I never want to visit again because the painful associations now outweigh the good associations. You were the last remaining reason I ever wanted to return there.

I remember one time, during a visit to you, I spiked myself into a panic attack. I had ordered a mocha from one of Seattle’s hipster one-off coffee shops. I could tell from the first sip that the balance skewed way more toward coffee than chocolate, and that it might be too strong for me, but I drank it anyway. And shortly after, my heart was hammering and my breathing was shallow and every dread in my heart came screaming up to the surface of my skin. And I asked you for a hug, and in the middle of the coffee shop, with no embarrassment, you held me. Spoke gently into my ear. Helped me regulate my breathing. Helped me back down to a tolerable level of anxiety (it would be a few hours before the caffeine totally left my system).

You wrote me a journal in response to the one I wrote to you. Then you spent months helping me decode your handwriting so I understood all of what you had to say.

You wrote the single piece of derivative fiction (or fan fiction) that exists for my still unfinished novel. You accompanied it with components of a visual piece of art for me to assemble, one that directly related to the story you’d written, in spite of you “not being a visual person.” It had so much meaning to me.

You gave me a deeply meaningful nickname, and called me that almost to the exclusion of my name.

I miss your laughter. I miss your sense of humor. I miss your warmth.

I grieve the good in you, and I grieve the good I received from you. I grieve the good we made together, and the good we shared with each other. As hurt and furious as I am, I still miss you. But I will not return this time. I cannot express to you how much I hope you heal, truly heal, and learn to relate to people. I wish you well. I wish you healing. I wish you true joy. I wish you a life where you do not have to leave claw-marks behind.

Goodbye.

[83gigsof90semocore-blog]

Bonus post: Everybody Hurts - Review

So the letter D is going along nicely, but before that I'm going to do something quite different, namely a book review.

My hope is that my pseudo-academic academic style will be complemented nicely by exploring what other people have written on the genre. I hope to do more of these eventually, but probably not at a too steady rate because I can be rather lazy when it comes to reading.

Everybody hurts is a book published in 2007 that was written by Leslie Simon, who at the time worked as an editor for Alternative Press and Trevor Kelly who worked as a staff writer, also for Alternative Press. The book is actually quite different from my blog in many respects. Aside from the obvious ones, it isn't specifically focused on 90's emo but instead on what in 2007 was considered contemporary emo. Also unlike my blog it's focused on emo culture (the cover says "an essential guide to emo culture") as opposed to just music.

Some background: The 4th wave, Real Emo and the death of Scene culture

Part of what makes this book interesting to me is that it's very much a product of its time. The story that it tells about the music and community surrounding it is incredibly different than what would have been told in the 90's and even more so today.

So, first some basics: Emo is a very broad term that at many points have meant different things. One popular way to categorize it is by splitting it into 4 (or 5) waves. We have the first wave which refers to the offshoot of hardcore-punk that is the origin of the genre. The second wave is much more influenced by indie, alt-rock and pop. It's much less overtly punky, depending on where you draw the line between first and second wave. The third wave (which corresponds to the time period when this book was written) consists to a large degree of pop-punk and poppy post-hardcore. This is the period of time in which emo music was the most commercially successful and emo culture was properly cemented in the public conciousness. Finally, we have the fourth wave also known as the "emo revival". Now, this is where things get interesting.

As the name implies, emo revival was a movement concerned with bringing back emo to an earlier stage, namely the second wave. As such, many people associated with the revival where to some degree self-concious about the way "their" genre was misinterpreted as being about something else, namely third wave emo. Emo culture at the time was often mocked and the more commercial emo music wasn't looked upon favourably in underground circles. Fourth wave wasn't just a re-embrace of the values of the second wave but a rejection of the third wave.

I should also mention that this isn't nearly as true as it used to be now that enough time has passed for people to be nostalgic sooner than derisive, although it's an assumption that is very much woven into contemporary emo culture.

The history of emo as told from a fourth wave perspective would generally look on the third wave as an embarrassing parenthesis that we'd be better of forgetting. Some people have even gone as far as referring to the bulk of the third wave as "fake emo", being emo in name only while failing to embrace the core values of the genre sufficiently to be considered part of it.

So, this is where this book comes in. Being written in 2007, instead of viewing third wave emo as a heretical misstep, it's treated as the logical conclusion of the genre.

Emo as an identity

Another contrast with modern-day emo culture is it's treatment of emo as almost more of an identity than a music genre. This is also very typical of the time period. I'm born in the mid 90's, and my first exposure to the word emo (as I remember it) was when I was perhaps 10 or so and a friend told me about "a group of mentally ill people who dress in black and self harm". Not even a mention of the music! From then on my pre-pubescent self was mostly exposed to Emo as an identity. Sure, they had a special type of music that they listened to, but it wasn't any more integral to their emo-ness than their fashion for example.

Fast forward to today and I would never unironically call myself or anyone else "an emo", and I don't think almost anyone else would either. The understanding of emo that you find by modern fans is of something that might have cultural connotations, but is ultimately a style of music at heart.

While the authors where a lot more familiar with what emo in general than my 10 year old self and also saw music as a more central part of it, it is very informed by the view of Emo as a broader identity and only a small part of the book is actually about music.

My impression

The book starts of with a foreword by Andy Greenwald, author of Nothing feels good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, And Emo, a book that I'm hoping to eventually cover on this blog.

Then we get to the first chapter, titled ideology. For a second I (foolishly) thought that it would be a Žižek-style examination of pop-culture or something, and got very exited. Reading a few words below, we get a faux dictionary definition of the word:

ide•ol•o•gy n a body of ideas and social needs that separates you from your parents, the pep squad, and Dave Matthews Band fans.

Žižek was never this snarky.

After appropriately adjusting my expectations, snark is a constant background noise in the book. It's sometimes funny, sometimes making fun of a target that deserves it, sometimes an excuse to not treat a subject seriously and sometimes something that has aged quite poorly (ableist slurs stand out like a sore thumb, something it generally didn't in 2007).

The book is divided in 9 chapters, discussing everything from emo ideology, emo fashion, emo literature to emo eating habits and oh right, actual emo music. I generally found that the book was quite well researched (although it is an entertainment book, so it's not exactly done with any academic rigor) and that the authors where happy on going in to detail on most of the subjects they brought up. The facts and anecdotes that make up every chapter are accompanied by either helpful advice ("Don't put on a band shirt right after buying it from the merch table, you'll look like an emo novice") or snarky commentary ("Let's say that a guy and his crush watched One Tree Hill a week earlier with a group of seven of their friends. Never mind that there where nine people in the room. In emo terms, this was a date.")

One section of the book is about emo blogs. Just for fun, let's see how my emo blog measures up:

[From the section "how to emo-fy your blog" [...] you're going to want to look over your text and ask yourself a series of questions before hitting the "submit" button and releasing your deepest, most intimate thoughts into the world. Those questions are as follows:

Does this read well?

Am I making my points in a clear and efficient way?

Did I use actual paragraphs?

Did I capitalize all the words that need capitalisation?

Is this what my life is actually like?

Ok, 5. doesn't really apply but for the others it seems like I'm doing fine. So far, so good.

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you should probably scrap your post and start over. Ideally, a good emo blog post should be over dramatic and a bit abstruse. You know the magnets you see on fridges that people sometimes assemble into bizarre phrases? That's what emo posts are supposed to look like

Well, fuck.

Chapter 6: Music - a review

While it can be anywhere from amusing to interesting to read about everything from proper show etiquette to Emo porn sites (yes, seriously), this being a music blog first and foremost I'm gonna give some extra attention to their taste in music.

They have a section titled "Essential Emo Records 101". So what does it consist of and what do I think of it?

Rites of Spring, S/T

Embrace, S/T

Sunny Day Real Estate, Diary

Jawbreaker, Dear You

Lifetime, Hello Bastards

Texas is the Reason, Do You Know Who You Are?

Weezer, Pinkerton

The Promise Ring, Nothing Feels Good

The Get Up Kids, Something To Write Home About

Jimmy Eat World, Clarity

So far, so good. Lifetime is almost never talked about these days, but Hello Bastards is still a solid record. Mineral, American Football and Cap'n Jazz are all absent, although American Football and Cap'n Jazz weren't very popular until a long time after they split, so it's not that strange I suppose. They would be impossible to not include had the list been written today though. All the bands are accompanied by some text. For the first two albums they snarkily remark that they're not so much good as important historically. I believe that this comes from viewing the history of as stepping stones to what it was when this book was written and not with an attempt to see emo as it was at the time which I think is disappointing although not very surprising.

Saves the Day, Through Being Cool

Glassjaw, Everything You Ever Wanted

At the Drive-in, Relationship of Command

Bright Eyes, Fever and Mirrors

Thursday, Full Collapse

Dashboard Confessional, The Places You Have Come To Fear the Most

Taking Back Sunday, Tell All Your Friends

The Used, S/T

The All-American Rejects, S/T

Brand New, Deja Entendu

Coheed and Cambria, In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3

Yellowcard, Ocean Avenue

Hawthorne Heights, The Silence in Black and White

My Chemical Romance, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

Fall Out Boy, From Under the Cork Tree

Panic! At the Disco, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out

There are a couple of albums that I personally don't really think qualify as emo even from a third wave point of view (although, maybe I'm just too poisoned by 4th wave elitism) namely Fevers and Mirrors, In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 and A Fever You Can't Sweat Out. I do still think that at least the first two at least are quite good so it's more of a matter of being overly loose with the genre. Although, maybe it's worth interpreting this list as more "music that emo people like" rather than "emo music" in line with the rest of the book. I did honestly think that it would be a bit worse in terms of including "non-emo" music so I'm honestly positively surprised. The authors do in my opinion manage to escape with a good amount of emo cred.

One thing that I'm disappointed in is the complete absence of screamo music, although this is once again more disappointing than surprising really.

Final verdict

One helpful question to ask when reviewing any piece of media is "who is this for?". My impression is that it's mostly for people who are already immersed in Emo culture who are interested in laughing at themselves. It is a very silly subculture in many ways (particularly in 2007) and the authors poke fun of this many times. If you can take it in stride, this book might be a pleasant read. You might also learn some things that you have missed.

For people such as me who are trying to puzzle together what emo culture actually was like at the time I find that the snark gets in the way of actually learning things, and I wish that they had taken a slightly more serious approach. The book could also have done with a lot more interviews.

Ultimately I think this leaves the book with a quite narrow audience in the present day, but that's fine maybe. At the time it came out it was actually commenting on something culturally relevant and might have served as a decent primer to the subculture.

Today however, I think that I can only really recommend it to the unhealthily obsessed (like me) and the nostalgic.

[a-robin-among-thorns]

In The Shadows of the Rising Sun: Chp 9

Chapters 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7 , Chapter 8

Once again so sorry for the delay on the chapter its been really crazy on my end. My sister had a baby, I got a new job and just the holiday to name a few ^^;

Chapter 9: Alone Together

Word Count: 2,210

Chise was hasty but diligent as she checked the apartment’s vacancy, silently thankful for the absurd lengths her cousin stretches out her business ventures. Seconds after the door clicks shut Elias emerged from the shadows in a rush and Chise sighed in relief. Although he had been present all day his long bony face is a sight for sore eyes. The sentiment was one he evidently shared for as soon as he was solid again he cupped her cheek in his right palm in almost reverent gentleness. He echoed her sigh, his breath sweeping over her red face in a rush, fanning the tips of her hair between his fingers.

It was so strange to be so sure that his feelings were exactly the same as hers. She blinked slowly, caught in the moment and hypnotized by his earnest gaze. The pads of his fingers fit in the curves of her jaw like she had done when she awoke beside him. She absently wondered if he recalled the action from his subconscious.

Belatedly, Chise pursed her lips and gripped her book bag tighter. If she wanted any hope of finishing her three days of math, not to mention her other subjects, she would have to start soon.

Her books spilled across the coffee table in a series of dull thuds. Fortunately, both science and history were reading assignments and the professors would never call on her if their lives depended on it. English was similar, translate and transcribe a paragraph of your choice from the provided kabuki play passages from hiragana to informal English. She normally dreaded this process, but her past days of constant English moved the work from a sluggish crawl to a leisurely walk.

All the while Elias hung just to the side of her. Although he sat corporally, he took the role of her shadow, all the same. Entranced in her movements eyes following where she goes, silent but ever-present.

Once the last character was redrawn as a letter she grumbled knowing it could be ignored no longer. Consulting her yellow sticky note, Chise split open the algebra textbook and set to work.

The process was slow and grueling. Finicky obnoxious measurements slowly scratched out to produce something that looked like effort went into it. She hated math on the best of days, this stupid fake math that can’t even be bothered to use numbers makes her want to pop a vein. But something about this assignment, aside from its extended length, grated at her nerves.

When it came down to it no matter how hard she would work on this assignment she would never understand it. She would work stressfully for several extra hours and receive a grade only slightly less abysmal than if she turned in nothing. It felt so pointless to toil and struggle for someone who wouldn’t pay her a passing glance. Who acted disgusted when she asked for help.

A hot gruff groan built in her chest and slipped through ground teeth, burning her nostrils. Distractedly she adjusted her bangs harshly and repositioned against the coffee table. In her shuffling, she didn’t hear Elias shuffle closer, peering over her shoulder. She jumped slightly when his hand slipped past her, the plum pad of his finger landing in between the unknown X and a pair of parenthesis.

“This one needs to be applied to all of the numbers inside the curves. It’s not a number, but it can still act like one.” He said simply. No trace of judgment or impatience could be found in his voice.

Her eyes followed his hand as he retracted. When their faces fell on each other he made a small nod in gentle urging. Her gaze returned to the paper. It couldn’t hurt. Slowly she applied his suggestion, more came as she worked, and the picture became clearer and clearer.

“Don’t forget to add and subtract this value because there are two possible answers.” She did just that and wrote out what had to be the closest thing to a properly done solution she had ever written. Another sigh spilled out, not of frustration but relief.

She leaned back on her elbow to look up at him fondly. “How do you understand math so well?”

His eyes crinkled in that glowing smile she had come to recognize. “When working with the fae, especially finicky ones, one must understand proportions and numbers. Even across different understandings. Many humans have met their end by accidentally slighting a proud spirit.” She chuckled at this, the absurd image of a faerie angrily stabbing at a calculator coming to mind.

As they worked together the heat of her frustration subsided. Her jaw relaxed and her breathing became less forced as her effort no longer felt futile. One after one they marked off the assigned problems until all 30 questions have a line struck through them.

The textbook closed with a satisfying thump as she brought the halves together like a grateful prayer. “Thank you for helping me. I couldn’t have done that on my own.”

His head tilted, “What have you done then?”

She shrugged, “I just turn in the best I can figure out.”

Elias looked back to the book between her hands. “And your teacher does nothing if you haven’t learned it?” He questioned.

“Pretty much.”

He was quiet at this looking pensive. As Chise began to put her work away the English assignment caught her eye reminding her of their conversation at lunch. “Would you like to look at this assignment with me? I can start teaching you Japanese.”

How could someone incapable of moving their face smile so plainly? “I would like that.”

He resettled again as she fished out the dictionary. “It’ll kind of be working backwards,” she mused aloud realizing the difficulty laid in front of her. “I’m probably not a very good teacher.” She admitted sheepishly.

“Any teacher is better than nothing.” He pauses, “Better than the teachers you have by the sound of it.” Chise stuttered unsure what to say when her attention snapped to the door and her heart stopped.

Tapping heels resounded through her eardrums like bass drums. In their shuffling the rattling of keys had been lost. Reina fidgetted through her purse and Chise and Elias were petrified as she looked up to the living room. Then back down at her purse.

She frowned and looked up again to Chise alone. She blinked in bewilderment looking to and fro as she skeptically walked forward. The frown on Reina’s face wanted to set in deep but her face was too confused to do so. “Were you...talking with someone? I could have sworn I heard…”

“I was just reciting my English,” Chise interjected forcing the most natural tone she could muster, “we have to read our translation aloud in class.”

Her cousin’s dark red lips pressed together disdainfully as her eyes searched the room. But nothing was disturbed, no exit could be that quick. And there is nowhere to hide in the barren apartment.

“Is...something wrong?” Chise probed in hopes of invoking her pride.

Reina’s posture realigned, regaining its commanding indifference as she unknowingly swallowed the bait. “No everything is fine.” She turned on her heels to place her purse on the kitchen counter. With her back turned, Chise steadily relaxed against the coffee table and stretched her fingers flat against the carpet. A warm shifting murmured against her palm, seeping between her digits.

“You spent a lot more than normal.” Reina’s sharp probing drew her out of the private moment. From the counter she stood with the remaining bills in hand, eyeing the child in her care like a hawk.

“I-i,” Chise gulped, mentally fumbling to come up with an explanation. “S-since it was my birthday Saturday I wanted to get something a little special.” Chise stutters, “Is that ok.”

Her predatory stare breaks as she blinks in realization. That had been this weekend, hadn’t it? “Um yeah, I guess.” She adds under her breath, “saves me from having to get a present.”

When Reina finally settled along the coffee table with takeout curry in hand, Chise felt as though she had lived through five separate heart attacks.

She was somewhat nauseous from the continuous back and forths but partook of her curry all the same. A few spoonfuls of spicy rice made the flip-flopping in her belly cease very quickly. The savory flavors danced on her tongue as she actually tasted a meal she should have been well familiar with. Although she would have happily devoured the entire container, a slight shift of her left hand reminds her to stop halfway.

As impatient an eater as she is everything else, Reina finished her rice soon after Chise and moved to throw away their containers.

Like a started rabbit Chise flung forward to guard her bowl from Reina’s grip, blocking her fingers from the plastic rim. Her brain catches up with her body as she slowly met her cousin’s eyes. Wide eyes narrowed like a bow pulled taunt, aimed at its kill. “What are you-“

“I was just wanting to save it for later,” Chise blurted, “maybe for breakfast.” She strained under the probing glare until Reina huffed and rolled her eyes. “Sure, that’s fine.” She sharply plucked her own bowl, standing in a fluid motion where Chise lay in her line of sight all the long way from the table to the trash. The timid clicking of the top and bottom of her plastic bowl resounded in the apartment as Chise watched Reina retire to her bedroom.

An eternity after Reina sealed herself in her bedroom the light under her doorway finally extinguished. A smaller eternity later, during which Chise showered and readied for bed, Elias had still not emerged from the shadows. From her futon, she ran her fingers all through the carpet. They met no resistance.  

Suddenly nervous, Chise looked over her shadow. No red lights.

Her throat constricts in anxiety. Her mouth suddenly very dry, she croaked out quietly, “Elias?” Nothing.

She sat up like a shot, searching frantically. Red hair whipped from side to side before swishing toward the small hallway. A thicker patch of darkness slithered from the direction of Reina’s bedroom. Her heart relaxed once the shadow knitted itself back into her strange friend. His jaw parted in oblivious confusion. “Is something wrong?”

“No, but...I didn’t know where you were.”

His posture relaxed as his jaw clacked together in understanding. “I needed to be sure she was asleep before I emerged.”

At this confession her insecurity quelled and she found herself feeling oddly guilty. And clingy.

She wrapped her arms around his torso letting the warmth of his body permeate the icy chamber of her lonely heart. He gasped and returned the gesture, tucking his long jaw against her back. A light rumbling sigh vibrated against her sternum.

A similar rumbling from his stomach reminded Chise of the earlier injustice, prompting her to reluctantly untangle herself and make for the fridge. She tried to hand Elias the container of remaining curry but he refused. “You need to eat more.”

She frowned. “But you haven’t had any.” She pushed it toward him again. He held his palm up to push it away. “You haven’t eaten enough.” His eyes bore into her stern and urging.

She huffed and relented, prying the container open as quietly as she could. She dipped her fork in for a few more bites and swallowed roughly. She rubbed her mouth against her fist. “There,” she shoved the container somewhat defiantly at his chest, “now you have the rest.”

Elias nodded and made quick and quiet work of the food.

She sighed harshly as he ate, before returning to the futon. Deliberately she lowered herself onto her back, hair splaying across the ground and staring at the ceiling. Her mind felt both restless and sluggish while she deliberated what she should say. But as he laid nest her on his side nothing she has thought of felt correct. Chise looked up to Elias with guilt still lingering in her eyes. “Elias,” she whispered, “I’m sorry you had to hide here too. And that I didn’t teach you as I promised.”

He stared at her for a moment before finally answering, “it's not your fault.”

She opened her mouth but choked on her words. Chise knew it would be polite, right, if she told him that he did not need to stay if he wished not to. That he did not need to be tied to a place where his actions and presence were so harshly limited. But she was terrified, horrified, that he would take up the offer and leave her as she was before. Leave her like everyone else. Leave her...alone.

“I’ll make sure we have time tomorrow.” She promised in a small voice.

He hummed in agreement. She was not the only one feeling needy she realized as Elias settled himself to lie against her, his head tucked along her neck and his left hand taking her right. As her hand clasped back comfort washed over them. Chise still wished they had been given more time today, but with each other held close, she could be held content until tomorrow.

[pathetic-at-the-disco]

The Tragic Love Life of Ryan Ross: Part 1 (Masterpost)

So... Ryan has had A LOT of girlfriends over the course of his life. There are easily at least six that the public knows of in any amount of detail. And, unfortunately, most of those relationships ended with heartbreak and a number of angsty songs from our boy.

Since it is Valentine’s Day/National Singles Awareness Day, we here at Pathetic! have decided to reflect on the train-wreck that is Ryan Ross’ love life from 2004 to now.

Well, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get a move on to the first relationship that Ryan has ever had. The girl that inspired “Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off” and “I Write Sins, Not Tragedies”.

“But Mods!” you say, pressing your noses to your computer screens in confusion, “We don’t know who this girl is!”

But we do. There are pictures. Two to be exact.

This is a yearbook picture of Ryan and a girl we are going to call S---, mostly out of respect for her privacy. If you notice the black box in the lower corner, that is because we have redacted her name. We ask for anyone who does come across her full name to please leave this girl alone.

Many people already know the basic story of their relationship. The two began dating while Ryan was still in high school, perhaps after they were voted “The Cutest Couple That Never Was”. Ryan was very reliant on her for emotional comfort and support during this time in his life, because of the difficulties he was having at home, as emphasized in this 2006 interview with the magazine Kerrang!:

Ryan and S--- had also clearly known each other for a while, and she seems as if she supported his musical endeavors. (Note her “Pet Salamander” t-shirt!)

Ryan even posted this picture on his Livejournal some time in 2004, although the actual date and post are long gone. As you can see, it is clearly the same girl as in the yearbook picture.

By 2005, their relationship had come to a bitter end, because S--- famously cheated on Ryan. There were even rumors in the earlier days of the band that she had gotten pregnant with another man’s baby, but of course that can’t really be substantiated. Regardless, S--- was unfaithful and it completely broke Ryan’s heart.

He wrote several miserable Livejournal posts about their breakup, including this one (the exact date is unknown, but it was probably posted in 2004 or early 2005):

put me in parenthesis and make me implied so my name can slip from your lips when mentioned. replace the letters change your sheets (but compare me with all the new boys you meet).

i’ve paged books in dusted cries for attention. sweetheart break my spine I’ll spill my insides and hope my blood will stain and soak in more than I did.

laid to waste but im still “your favorite” death

i still hope you’d haunt the passenger seat. if that was the only way i could keep your company. no matter how veiled or murderous your intent. those scarlet lines in your hair will mark every scar that spoils my appearance. keeping this cavalier is possible: possible like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound and not bleeding to

Many of Ryan’s writings about their breakup focus on his extreme feelings of betrayal, and how he could not understand why S--- would cheat on him after building up his confidence about sex and relationships.

Even Lying, the breakup song par excellence, is fundamentally about trying to understand why someone would toss him aside in the middle of such an intense relationship. In that song, Ryan contemplates about how she may be thinking about him while with other guys, and transforms his frustration and misery into bitter arrogance. “You told me I was so good for you,” he basically writes. “Well, just think about what you’re missing out on.”

I’ve got more wit, a better kiss, A hotter touch... a better fuck Than any boy you’ll ever meet. Sweetie, you had me. Girl, I was it, look past the sweat A better love deserving of Exchanging body heat In the passenger seat, Oh no, no, you know it will always just be me.

(Side bar: There’s that passenger seat again, mentioned for the second time since the Livejournal post! They must have driven around a lot in Ryan’s car.)

Ryan had some understandable reservations about making such a personal song public, as you can see from this 2006 interview with Kerrang!:

Apparently, Brendon (who was a relatively new friend at that point) helped Ryan through the emotional turmoil and even got him into the vicious headspace of Lying. These are Brendon’s own reflections on the song:

Our guitar player, Ryan’s girlfriend cheated on him. A lot of this first verse came from conversations I would have with him. We would hang out alone, when he finally told me what had happened during a heart to heart. I asked him: What happened? How does that make you feel? Are you cool? And he was like, “No, you know what? I bet when she is fucking this other dude she is saying my name.” So this song was more about having vitriol for another person instead of compassion. (x)

Other songs inspired by the situation with S--- include “But It’s Better If You Do” (Ryan fantasizing about getting over her in a strip club, which she would have apparently enjoyed), possibly “There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered, Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought of It Yet” (Ryan fantasizing about wrecking a social event that S--- is also at), and very importantly, “I Write Sins, Not Tragedies”.

Don’t take it from me. Take it from Brendon!

Misogyny aside, this interview highlights how S--- directly inspired Panic!’s breakout song. Ryan was presumably considering taking her back, and what would happen at their fictitious wedding in the future.

It also appears that S--- made an effort to get Ryan back in mid-2005, but by then it was too late. He even posted this on Livejournal:

Sun, Jul 3 2005

as soon as i start being kind of okay she realizes im the best fucking thing that ever happened to her. go figure.to late honey.

i am heaven sent, don’t you dare forget. i am all you’ve ever wanted.what all the other boys all promised

(The second paragraph is taken directly from the song “Okay, I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't” by Brand New. So apparently Ryan was drowning himself in angsty emo music. No one is surprised.)

By this point, Ryan had also apparently rebounded with a girl named Paulina.

This relationship does not seem to have lasted long, because Ryan was single by the time A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out was released in late 2005...

Leaving him ready to date Jac Vanek.

CONTINUED IN PART 2

And here are all of the posts in this series!

[fivewrites]

5557 Reviews Your Fanfic #3:  Soul of a New Machine by StygianLotus

Hello, friends, I am 5557 on Ao3 and I review your fanfiction if you want me to.

Soul of a New Machine by  @stygianlotus

Summary:

Lance had been living the same cycle of events over and over since he got captured by the Galra. After seven months with Haggar, the other Paladins finally manage to save him. However, they soon realize that Lance's wounds run much deeper than they had hoped.

Rating: M

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence

Tags: Psychological Torture, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Coran helps Lance, Langst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Angst, Post-Defeat of Zarkon, Post Season 2, Flashbacks, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, poor lance

Optional info:

Is English your first language? Yes How long have you been writing for? 4 years Are you 18+? No Do you want publish / write professionally one day? Maybe

Technical Style / Formatting: Paragraphs are of a good size.

Quotes and dialogue are all correct, punctuation is used correctly.

I find parenthesis to be unnecessary in fiction, but they are still used correctly.

Could use a bit of dialogue attribution switch-ups (Lance said vs. said Lance) here and there, but that’s a very small thing.

The second chapter’s flashback doesn’t need to be entirely in italics, but it’s ok.

Pace: The pace is affected by the problem of the mixed-omniscient narrator.

The biggest core problem in the story, and one that is at the root of all others like the confusing sentence structure is: Who is our narrator and what does our narrator know?

In some paragraphs, is seems like we have an unreliable, deep-pov narrator that keeps us well inside of Lance’s head. In other paragraphs, the narrator informs us in a more omniscient way of information that Lance himself does not know. And inconsistence narrator can lead to plot and characterization problems, as well and issues with general prose flow and how the story progresses.

We need to establish solidly who the narrator is (is it a detached voice of lance, or an outside figure?) and what exactly they know. Do they know A) everything about everyone, all the time? (omniscient) B) Everything about lance and only Lance (Limited omniscient) or C) Some things about Lance, but not everything (Unreliable non-omniscient)

Establishing this will help with the confusing sentence structure and set the pace and tone of the story so the reader can understand what’s going on (even with limited information) and progress.

Dialogue: The dialogue is fairly good, and I appreciate the fact that the team care about Lance and want him to feel safe and welcome back on the team.

Once we solve the narration problem, the dialogue will fit the story that much better.

Characterization: So far, characterization isn’t too much of a problem, but with huge, personality-changing events such as capture and torture, it’s really important to research trauma and how is can affect a person. It’s up to you to decide how lance’s behaviour deals with his trauma, whether he chooses to smile through it and pretend nothing is wrong, or like in your story actually show that he has been deeply affected.

It’s not wrong for Lance’s personality to change from an extreme situation. I think it would be wrong to write him as the exact same person he was before his capture, but I also want to stress that he is not 100% a new person. There are and will always be fragments of the old person there, and they will have good days where they are able to laugh and joke and have  a good time. It’s about finding the balance of depth.

For research, I would really recommend watching the movie Room (2016) about the 5-year-old child who grew up in captivity with his mother. This movie does an amazing job of showing that even in a dire situation, they are able to be sane and smart. It also shows that they are not immune to breaking down and falling apart. Both are true, and that is what makes the story so powerful.

Flow / Prose Style:

Try to find and remove extraneous filler words like was and had. As well, look for text written in the passive voice, and try to edit it to become more active.

“The cup was picked up by Lance.” - Passive “Lance picked up the cup.” - Active

I think I understand what you’re going for in the beginning, so I’m going to make a few assumptions.

The opening fades in like a person coming into consciousness after being knocked out- blurry, unclear, unable to pin facts and details and people. This is an appropriate way to open a thriller / angst story, no problems there.

My advice for a choice like this is that as an author you need to be very careful and specific about what you make clear and what you make hazy.

Too clear, and you don’t get the desired effect.

Too hazy and your readers are confused and bored because they can’t understand enough

So when you’re doing a style like this, be very careful about who knows what, and who is being mentioned. If you turn too many names into epithets or pronouns (he or she) we very easily lose track of what the narrator is referring to.

“He remembered Allura ordering for them to attack him, remembered Hunk being the one to do it while Lance was still restrained.”

This sentences contains two “he’s” and the second one is unclear as to who it’s referring to. We could use clarity by saying “Lance remembered Allura ordering for them to attack him, remembered Hunk being the one to do it while he was still restrained.”

“How could they still act like they were best friends after everything that had happened?”

And here, it’s slightly unclear as to who the “they” is referring to. Lance and Hunk? Lance and the rest of the paladins? Hunk and the rest of the paladins? etc.

For someone who is english as first language, some of the phrasing is… odd. It’s not exactly passive voice, nor is it grammatically incorrect, but it attributes action and intention to the wrong symbol of importance.

Like PutTING the emPHAsis on the wrong sylLAble. It’s not incorrect, but it it is jarring.

““Hey, Lance?” The sudden voice jerked Lance out of his thoughts, looking up quickly like he had gotten used to doing.”

The second part of the sentence says that it’s the voice, not lance, that looked up quickly.

“Keith’s face made Lance take an involuntary step back, watching him cautiously.”

This is also odd phrasing that leads to odd mental image. It’s like Keith is pressing Lance around physically… with his face. Keith’s face doesn’t really make anyone do anything unless he’s physically using it. The way it’s described currently gives keith’s face, and not keith himself the agency and importance.

At the very end of the sentence, it’s unclear whether it’s Keith’s face or Lance that is doing the watching cautiously.

I get the idea of the scene, but the phrases used to describe the action are odd. So when the common thread of concern is confusing sentence structure, it’s often a good time to go back to the basics and start from the bottom. try to rewrite sentences three times and pick the best one you like. this can also help stimulate new ideas and new ways of phrasing.

Parenthesis tend to be aside thoughts. Find a way to integrate them into their own sentence or paragraph. Also, things said in parenthesis tend to come across as comedic, so it helps the tone of the serious story to try to minimize them.

The same goes for but / although additions to sentences. Decide if they deserve their own new sentence or paragraph or if that information really needs to be told to the reader at all.

Beware when using epithets. “The blue paladin” sounds cold and unsympathetic. If you want readers to attach themselves, use names.

Story:

There’s a lack of impact in the initial chapter because we are told snippets of Lance’s experiences, but rather than holding it as a mystery, or exploring it in more depth, these things come across like an informative list rather than a story.

Each event and experience that lance has faced, while impactful on its own, loses impact when strung together with the other pieces that come across as list-like.

There are two options of exploring lance’s experiences, and this will come down to how you choose to narrate the story, and it’s this: Do you want Lance to be the POV character or not?

If you make lance the poc character, you can explore all of his thoughts and memories of the events of his capture. It would be an internal tale, and explore him learning to communicate with his team once again.

Or, you could make Keith the POV character, and write more of a “medical mystery / crime procedural” type story, where the team slowly learns of the events that happened to Lance and how deep they go. (this does not have to be a klance fic or romantic at all if you choose to make keith the POV. He’s just the narrator who cares about his friend)

The flaws in the first couple of chapters are a little counterintuitive. The story seems a bit rushed, and one would assume that it’s under explained. I think the opposite is true. It’s over explained, trying to catch us up as quickly as possible to everything that has happened to Lance.

What would make the story more interesting would be to let each event breathe a bit, and explore more of Lance’s sensory reactions and his dialogue with his team than simply stating what happened to him and what went wrong. Show us Lance’s flightiness and mistrust instead of telling us about his torture.

The first chapter could use a bit more environmental description. Where do they go in the lions? How far? When?

The second chapter where Keith is rescuing Lance is fairly straightforward a good, we just need to decide on a main narrator and stick to them.

“Keith wished that he knew how to help, really – it was frustrating to all of them. They wanted to be able to help, but Lance wouldn’t let them in. He still kept everything inside, as he usually did, they’d learned. Lance was the type to bottle up his emotions because he was worried they’d hold someone back.”

This would be a great opportunity to show us Lance’s mistrust instead of telling us. What are his actions? His reactions? What does he do, specifically?

“Coran wished that he could see what was going on inside of Lance’s head so that he could help him.”

This comes across as odd and weak because we as readers can see inside of lance’s head. We were told lots of things by the story, so there’s no surprise or mystery. We feel smarter than Coran, rather than on his level.

The story really starts to take shape in the third chapter, and I really like that Coran is both a main part of the story and well-characterized. But the POV / narration problems are of prime concern. Once we figure these out, it will start to flow much more smoothly and be much more engaging to read!

[find-your-rp-partner]

Hello World!

Hello, I’m Aventa!

About Me: I’m a nineteen year old living in the U.S. on pacific time (PST)  looking a partner (or two) for casual roleplaying! I’ve only been roleplaying for a few years, but I’ve found I really enjoy it and I’ve been writing all my life.

Fandoms or Originals: I am much more comfortable doing original character roleplays, but I would be willing to try fandom roleplaying in addition to doing some original stuff.

Setting: I’m most experienced in fantasy-based and modern roleplays, but I am completely open to experimenting with lots of different genres! In fact, I definitely want to!

Sex/Smut: I am okay with doing smut/sexual themes/etc. It’s not what I’m explicitly looking for, but if we do a romance-based roleplay and it gets into that I would be fine with it. (If you are under 18 or uncomfortable with doing sexual themes, that’s totally fine! Smut/no smut is not a deal breaker for me!)

What I Won’t Do: The only things I am entirely NOT okay with are pedophilia, incest, bathroom play, and rape. Other than that, I’m pretty open to trying out different themes and such. If anything makes you uncomfortable while we’re roleplaying, please tell me! I wouldn’t wanna force you into doing something that makes you anxious/uncomfortable!

Pairings: As for pairings, I’m open to whatever! M/m, m/f, f/f, nonbinary pairings, anything. I’m also a-ok with doing gen roleplays without romantic/sexual relationships!

Form/Length: Typically, I have roleplayed in script form, but I have done a bit in paragraph form (typically between 1-3 paragraphs). I would be open to either form, whatever you’re more comfortable with!

Plot: I much prefer to come up with a plot along with my partner than use a pre-existing plot. However, if you have specific things you would like to play out, that would be okay, as long as we talk about it first.

Method: I’m fine with roleplaying through email, or a messenger, or any other written form, I don’t like to do it over Skype or an audio chat though (but Skype messaging would be fine).

I have email, Google Hangouts, Discord, and Skype. I could even do it through tumblr messaging if you prefer.

Availability: I tend to be sporadically available. Some days I can sit down at the computer and roleplay almost all day, other days I’ll be super busy and maybe only be able to get a few replies in, if anything. My schedule is that I have no schedule. That aside, don’t worry if I drop off the face of the Earth for a day or two, I’ll try to give you a warning if I get really busy all of a sudden.

Notes: I said above I’m looking for a casual roleplaying partner. To me, that means being a little more improv-y and not being too strict about plot. I roleplay for fun, not to worry about complete adherence to a pre-planned out storyline. (One of the reasons I prefer to come up with a plot along with my partner.)

It’d be nice if you could play more than one character (especially when it comes to side characters), but it’s not a must or a deal-breaker if you can’t! Not all roleplays will call for multiple characters!

I will give you fair warning right now, I tend to break character and go ooc (usually indicated by parenthesis, like so). I wouldn’t say I do it a lot, but I tend to ask questions and shoot in little ideas about where to take the plot and stuff. I’ll also probably ask you how you day is going :)

If you have any questions or wanna rp with me, you can contact me:

On tumblr: thescarlet-avenger.tumblr.com

Gmail: aventatumal@gmail.com

:)

[fyrapartnersearch]

Hello World!

Hello, I’m Aventa!

About Me: I’m a nineteen year old living in the U.S. on pacific time (PST)  looking a partner (or two) for casual roleplaying! I’ve only been roleplaying for a few years, but I’ve found I really enjoy it and I’ve been writing all my life.

Fandoms or Originals: I am much more comfortable doing original character roleplays, but I would be willing to try fandom roleplaying in addition to doing some original stuff.

Setting: I’m most experienced in fantasy-based and modern roleplays, but I am completely open to experimenting with lots of different genres! In fact, I definitely want to!

Sex/Smut: I am okay with doing smut/sexual themes/etc. It’s not what I’m explicitly looking for, but if we do a romance-based roleplay and it gets into that I would be fine with it. (If you are under 18 or uncomfortable with doing sexual themes, that’s totally fine! Smut/no smut is not a deal breaker for me!)

What I Won’t Do: The only things I am entirely NOT okay with are pedophilia, incest, bathroom play, and rape. Other than that, I’m pretty open to trying out different themes and such. If anything makes you uncomfortable while we’re roleplaying, please tell me! I wouldn’t wanna force you into doing something that makes you anxious/uncomfortable!

Pairings: As for pairings, I’m open to whatever! M/m, m/f, f/f, nonbinary pairings, anything. I’m also a-ok with doing gen roleplays without romantic/sexual relationships!

Form/Length: Typically, I have roleplayed in script form, but I have done a bit in paragraph form (typically between 1-3 paragraphs). I would be open to either form, whatever you’re more comfortable with!

Plot: I much prefer to come up with a plot along with my partner than use a pre-existing plot. However, if you have specific things you would like to play out, that would be okay, as long as we talk about it first.

Method: I’m fine with roleplaying through email, or a messenger, or any other written form, I don’t like to do it over Skype or an audio chat though (but Skype messaging would be fine).

I have email, Google Hangouts/Google Docs, Discord, and Skype. I could even do it through tumblr messaging if you prefer.

Availability: I tend to be sporadically available. Some days I can sit down at the computer and roleplay almost all day, other days I’ll be super busy and maybe only be able to get a few replies in, if anything. My schedule is that I have no schedule. That aside, don’t worry if I drop off the face of the Earth for a day or two, I’ll try to give you a warning if I get really busy all of a sudden.

Notes: I said above I’m looking for a casual roleplaying partner. To me, that means being a little more improv-y and not being too strict about plot. I roleplay for fun, not to worry about complete adherence to a pre-planned out storyline. (One of the reasons I prefer to come up with a plot along with my partner.)

It’d be nice if you could play more than one character (especially when it comes to side characters), but it’s not a must or a deal-breaker if you can’t! Not all roleplays will call for multiple characters!

I will give you fair warning right now, I tend to break character and go ooc (usually indicated by parenthesis, like so). I wouldn’t say I do it a lot, but I tend to ask questions and shoot in little ideas about where to take the plot and stuff. I’ll also probably ask you how you day is going :)

If you have any questions or wanna rp with me, you can contact me:

On tumblr: thescarlet-avenger.tumblr.com

Gmail: aventatumal@gmail.com

:)

[futuristicallynerdycollection]

APA Essay Help with Style and APA College Essay Format



APA Essay Format: Help with Writing Your Essay Paper

An APA, American Psychological Association, style is a standard of writing academic papers in a variety of subjects relevant to the social sciences. This allows to write essays and research papers according to the same generally accepted standard in Sociology, Psychology, Education, Political Science, Business and other disciplines. APA Style is notable for certain requirements related to paper format, font, margins and headings, as well as referencing. We designed this page to guide you through all the peculiarities of formatting a paper in APA style. Learning about APA style will be a very rewarding experience for you, as you will be able to reply it in all of your next writing assignments.

Quick Navigation through the APA Essay Format Page:

The Fundamentals of an APA Essay Format

What comprises the APA style? Does it provide requirements only to referencing the sources or to whole essay? In their published guide book, the American Psychological Association, provides APA standards on the following issues:

Title page. Unlike MLA style which doesn’t require a title page, it is a must in APA essay format. It usually contains such standard elements as the title of the paper, the student’s name, teachers or course name, and the due date. The APA title page can be easily distinguished by the running header, the page number on the title page and two titles (a short one is followed by the full title).

Abstract. Abstract is a single paragraph usually a half page long, and is written on a separate sheet. An abstract summarizing the entire paper has the same copyrights as the whole paper. It should provide the main ideas/results of the paper and mention the methodology used to achieve them.

Page format. Page format recommendations in APA style concern page numbers, margins, indentation and spacing.

In-text references. The format of references in APA format is the foremost subject of student’s concerns. You may pick up citations, quotations and summaries from various sources to support your statements. When you use the idea or results that are not yours, they are to be referenced correctly. APA style approves of in-text references. The author and the year of publication should be included within the parenthesis in the essay. Page numbers also need to be mentioned when picking up lines from a book.

Use of quotations. APA style recommends to put short quotations in quotation marks. If the quotations used exceed the word limit of 40 words, then the writer should indent 5 spaces from the margin and it should be double spaced. Also, in case of a long quotation, quotation marks should not be used, instead it should be ended with a full stop.

Headings. Though it may be not required for an essay, but if you will write a research paper or thesis in APA format you’ll need to structure it. Headings are used to separate and classify paper sections. Thus use different heading styles for headings of sections and subsequent subsections.

Reference list. Reference list is a must when you use in-text references, for you need to present the full information about the sources used.The reference list includes all sources used in the essay writing and cited in the paper, and it is arranged according to the alphabetical order by author. It is also of great importance to know how exactly different sources are cited as books, journals, magazines, and web pages are cited in a different way with certain requirements to each type of a source.

Download APA Format Essay Sample

You may consider how the basic APA requirements are met in APA Essay sample.

APA Essay Template (Cick the Image to Enlarge)

When using APA style there are a few standards to keep in mind:

double spaced;

have all the margins set to one inch;

it’s recommended to use the font serif typeface for the text and sans serif typeface for any labels;

use 10-12 for the font size;

always have page numbers;

a header with the title of the paper should also be used.

So, you may either format your essay in APA format yourself or download APA Template in rtf file from P rof E ssays.com .

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APA in-text references

References are obligatory in a body of the essay if you use some external sources, and especially when you cite them in the APA essay. In-text references are used instead of footnotes in APA format.

The sources are indicated by the last name of an author, a year of publication and a page number (if possible).

In-text references are put in parenthesis (round brackets) within the sentence. Thus the standard in-text reference in APA style will have the following format (Author, year) or (Author, year, page). But there may be variations:

1. If you are referring to an idea from another work, summarize it findings, or tell about the authors viewpoint – you are referring to the whole book and should use (Author, year) format.

Example: T. E. Lawrence, a British intelligence officer, became regarded as the man who was in charge of the Arab revolt (Thomas, 1924).

2. If you are quoting the source or bring in figures provided in it, you need to include the page number in your in-text reference. Like: (Author, year, page).

Example: Lawrence was compared to “a caliph who had stepped out from the pages of ‘The Arabian nights'” (Thomas, 1924, 16)

3. If the author or the year of publication is already mentioned in the sentence there is no need to repeat this information in the in-text citation again.

Examples: With Lawrence in Arabia was published in 1924 (Thomas).

Lawrence of Arabia became famous due to the book of Lowell Thomas (1924).

4. Multiple authors reference. If the source is written by multiple authors, then you should state last names of all of them, at least in the first reference within the essay. Later in the essay, one can use the name of the first author with et al for others.

Example: (Morris, Raskin, 1993) – first in-text reference

(Morris et al., 1993) – subsequent in-text reference

5. In case of no author. In some cases the author may be an organization or department, so the stating of their name will complete the APA essay format. Or else the mention of the book will also fulfill the need. Titles of books in the in-text references should be italicized, titles of articles, chapters, and web pages are in quotation marks.

Examples:

Organization: (ProfEssays.com, 2009)

Book: (The correspondence, 1914)

Article: (‘APA Essay Format’, 2010)

APA Reference list

The reference list includes all sources used in the course of the essay and cited in the paper. The references should always be organized in alphabetical order. This gives an organized look to the essay.

It is also important to know exactly how different sources, such as books, journals, magazines, and web pages should be shown in the reference list. As certain requirements differ for each type of source:

Book: Author, A. (Year of publication). Title of work: SUBTITLE. Location: Publisher.Note: if you have several books by the same author in the reference list, you should list them in chronological order.

Article: Author, A. (Year). Title of article. Title of Periodical, volume number (issue number), pages.

on-line source: Author, A. A. (Year, Month Date – if availiable). Title of article. Name of the web-site. Retrieved from http://www.url/ on https://www.the-essays.com/coursework , Month Date.

APA format headings

Readers and writers alike can find headings as a useful tool in writing. Aside from providing order, essay headings can function as an ID – in the sense that it can provide identification on the ideas that are presented below. Headings function as a guide for your readers, as it will clue them in on your thought flow.

The APA style allows five levels of headings when writing.

Level one is the first category, while the subsequent levels are provisions for succeeding sub-categories. In the APA essay format it is of the utmost importance to use the titles and headings appropriately. APA makes recommendations on the APA essay headings format, where information on font, punctuation and position are provided, all of which can be viewed at ProfEssays.com:

heading level 1: Centered, Boldface, Each Word with a Capital Letter

heading level 2: Left-adjusted, Boldface, Each Word with a Capital Letter

heading level 3: Indented, boldface, only the first word with a capital letter, with a period.

heading level 4: Indented, boldface, italicized, only the first word with a capital letter with a period.

heading level 5: Indented, italicized, with a period.

Note: in APA format headings “Introduction” and “Conclusion” are not required! Only the parts of the main body should have headings!

APA essay title page

Title page should be numbered in APA format.

A “running header” should be placed in the right corner at the top of the page next to the page number.

A “running header” in APA style contains a short title of the essay.

The essay title should be placed one-third of the page down from the top. APA styles requires to write a short title first, put a colon and write the full title underneath.

Author’s name is usually several lines underneath.

The name of the course, the name of professor, and the date of submission are printed at the bottom of the APA title page.

APA regulations on abbreviations, tables and figures

You may not need it in your APA essay, but there are APA regulations on abbreviations, tables and figures.

Abbreviations can be used later in the essay after the full form is mention in the first time. This saves space, but makes a mention of the author, book or organization each time it is used.

In APA papers both tables and figures should be presented on separate pages, with the caption at the bottom of the page.

What to remember with the APA essay writing format

The main thrust of documenting guidelines is to avoid plagiarism. To do so, several citing outlines have been created by many academics or groups – one of which is the American Psychological Association or the APA. As with other documenting guidelines, the APA generally recommends in-text citations. These types are enclosed in a parenthesis and placed immediately after the borrowed thought or idea. When beginning with the APA essay writing format, P rof E ssays.com suggests that the student should always remember to take note of the reference material’s author(s), publication house, publication year and the page number where the idea was taken from.

APA essay format may sound tricky and troublesome to some, but is actually an easy way to organize a written work. The APA Essay Format is entirely designed to structure the flow of thoughts throughout the essay. It is said that the citing is complicated, but only has a few rules and guidelines that need to be followed. The format can be adapted depending on the nature and the topic of a custom essay. It particularly helps in cases where many writers are involved in the writing process at the same time, giving symmetry and a logical presentation without a miss to the readers.

What is an APA essay?

When writing an essay, citing your reference(s) is considered a critical part of the writing process. This fundamental element of writing helps students avoid plagiarism. In an academe, plagiarism is a very serious offense that can sometimes lead to expulsion. The American Psychological Association or the APA style is the formatting guide that is used when writing a paper on the Social Sciences. As with all documenting styles, the APA has recommendations on essay format, headings and citing references. Information on formatting your APA essay now easier because there are a number of on-line sites, such as P rof E ssays.com , which can provide you with key points in documentation. Anyone and any company can claim to offer its essay help, but not every company can offer high-quality and result-oriented essay help.

The appropriate APA format for your manuscript

Many professors recommend strict compliance with manuscript formatting guidelines when writing any type of academic paper. Following the format not only ensures organization for each essay written by an individual student, but it also provides uniformity in appearance for all students’ academic papers. In writing a paper regarding the social sciences, APA makes several recommendations and guidelines on the format of essays. Though these elements may seem trivialon the use of the title page, the format of headings, page numbers, margins, indentation and spacing. Though these elements may seem trivial, P rof E ssays.com believes that compliance remains a must.

College essay format: writing effectively in the collegiate level

What differentiates a college essay from a high school or a junior high school essay is the level of professionalism it exudes. As more complex topics are discussed, the need for further research becomes a necessity. Another important factor to consider is the format of the essay. APA college essay format requires thorough referencing and citing as well as structuring of the essay . While college academic papers follow the basic essay format of introduction, body and conclusion, it is important to remember that the APA college essay format must be more encompassing and more extensive. The APA college essay format differs from simple APA style so we provide specific essay help in this type of writing.

P rof E ssays.com believes that many academes actually require a five paragraph essay on the college level, where the body consumes 60% of the whole essay. ProfEssays.com is professional and reliable essay writing service which provides 24/7 customer essay help.

Write Effectively With the Right Essay Format

A standard essay format provides order to any academic paper. Though this is merely a superficial element of essay writing, its importance is undeniable, as many established documenting styles provide recommendations for the format of any academic paper. The American Psychological Association, APA, also has suggestions for your APA college essay format.

[just-some-other-reviews]

It’s been an eternity since I posted something in my page. I think I’ll probably change the time posts are scheduled to be released. I might go with releasing my new reviews at maybe 4-7 in the afternoon time of the east coast, simply because I have so much to do nowadays that I can’t prepare my posts one day before simply to publish them at 2 in the afternoon the next day.

I feel a little bad about doing a comeback with a movie that I didn’t enjoy, but it was easier for me to write down such review during my close because it didn’t ask too much mentally. Yes, I put as much thought as in a good review, but sometimes it’s less complex to explain and there’s, generally, a lot less to write. So, spoiler about my own review, this is going to be a really bad review.

Our Town is a crime thriller (????). A small town is terrorized by a serial killer who only attacks women and stages their body (degrades them). While the killer still is pretty active, Kyung-Ju, a crime novel writer, kills his landlady and decides to make her pass as another victim of the killer. But, such action will bring him to go on the traces on the real killer with the help of his long-time “friend”, Jae-Sin, who’s a detective working on the cases.

By the way, I strongly advise you to read carefully other summaries online before starting the movie because it can look a little messy. I explain it further in the plot’s paragraph.

I tried to put the less spoilers possible in the review, but there’s one at the end of the characters paragraph. If you don’t wish to read it, just skip the parenthesis. For the rest, I don’t know if some might have escaped me, so please stay careful.

At first, I thought I would really be in this movie, but things didn’t end up that way. The crimes were well-thought and developed. On that matter, I have nothing to say. It was probably the best thing in the whole movie and what kept me into it. But, aside of that, I had the impression this movie fell short on a lot of things. At the start, I thought things were making sense, but I quickly realized that it wasn’t the case. The story was immensely confusing as it was mostly centered on portraying a character as a bad guy/weird guy while some of what he did was in the realm of the dream or “hallucinations” (I mean, it isn’t really hallucinations, but more day-dreaming or something like that) and the rest is just pure madness.. Because of such focus, I found the progression quite slow. In the movie really little happened. Well, it wasn’t a very long movie… It was about 114 minutes… But I felt like it was an eternity… I thought the movie had quite some lengths. In short, if I had to resume this movie by one word it would be “boring”. That aside, the plot was quite typical, the progression was quite usual. For the ending, I thought it was uselessly dramatic and just made everything comes into place because… I guess they needed to make everything comes together…And do a really cliché plot twist to conclude everything.

For the characters, there truly isn’t much to say. There a three main characters and, one among them, only obtain his status of main character near the middle/end because he’s the true killer. Most of the characters stay superficial through the movie. I didn’t feel as if there was enough thoughts put in their personality. Their trait of character seemed to be chosen simply to make the story progresses. Their personality is mostly centered on how to make the story line goes further. They have no progression. For what it is of the killer, he’s probably the most well-thought of the bunch even though is motive is quite typical and he stays pretty much cliché the whole movie (SPOILER: By the way, I’m asking myself how did they managed to cast the actor… I mean… He has two naked scenes… How do you convince someone to take such role…? I really imagined the casting and it was quite funny… I, often, imagine what casting looked like... It’s a old habit...). For the side characters there’s just nothing to say. They are useless and appear only for a really brief time each.

I’ll conclude there because I feel as if I’m a little bit unfair with this movie because I was really confused by it and I personally thought it was boring, but I’m quite sure there are people out there who really enjoyed this movie and I’m just here bashing it. So here comes the bad grades. The plot would be a 3/10. The characters a 1/5. And the tearjerker factor a 1/5.