#and Eddie's all like 'I'm sorry I'm so sorry. Maybe in another life big boy'

[solitarydemise]

Black Mary Jane's |P.t2

!EddieMunson x !FemReader

Summary:Eddie unintentionally breaks your heart because of your friends' insistence.Even though he loves you,he will be punished for pretending otherwise.

Warnings:Jealousy,kissing,making out(It's not 1986). I never liked cheerleaders my entire school life and I really can't like Chrissy. I'm sorry, I can't make her a good character in any of my fics.

Part 1 is here!

𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐

You hadn't talked to Eddie for days after your last argument. Weeks,and almost 1 month. You were really heartbroken and exhausted,you didn't talk to your friends and immediately went home after classes. What Eddie said was confusing you, no matter how much you loved Eddie you didn't trust him and all this time he just only broked your heart. You desperately wanted to kiss him, but at the same time the possibility that he might cheat on you was too high for you. Eddie was the sweetest boy you've ever met,but you had been friends for years and you had witnessed his relationships with many people. He wasn't loverboy, he wasn't going to be for you from now on either. Isn't it?Loving someone was a big thing for you, you couldn't trust anyone because you learned that from the people around you. Even the best person you knew could turn into a stranger, you didn't have the courage to lean on anyone. You couldn't trust Eddie, maybe you were still fooling yourself. You missed Eddie being a total clown to you,telling jokes and flirting with you sometimes. You missed all of these,but every time you missed him,you remembered how upset Eddie made you. You were in a terrible dilemma. He was in front of you everywhere, in the hallway, in the classroom, in the cafeteria and you made eye contact with him everytime. Whenever you had hope to Eddie,he'd start talking to Chrissy again. Going back to her like he hadn't told you how beautiful you were the night before. You were the girl Eddie always flirted with and gave hope to,but at the same time you were just his "friend" if asked. Another Monday, while you were lingering in front of your school locker,Nancy smiled at you "Hey." you looked at her "Hey" Your voice wasn't even coming out at all. Nancy played with her bracelet "You look beautiful today" you smiled softly "I didn't even do my makeup" she giggled "This is why you look beautiful". She was definitely going to ask something "Are tou coming to the concert this weekend?" You looked at her "What concert?" You definitely knew what concert it was but you didn't say anything. It was the Corroded Coffin concert. Eddie's been waiting for this for a long time. He cared very much about the group and kept saying that one day the whole world would hear about them. But they hadn't even been able to perform in town yet. So it was time,Corroded Coffin on the stage. You knew they were performing at a local bar, but you weren't sure if you wanted to go. If Eddie and you hadnt argument about a shitty thing, you'd definitely be the first person there. But you didn't want to be there. "Do you think I'm needed? I'm sure Chrissy will be there." Nancy rolled her eyes. 'Stop it, are you still on that?' you didn't answer and tried to stay calm. You were sensitive about Eddie and your friends would keep saying that it was unnecessary because you were worrying about it and you would only get angrier. This is why you didn't talk with them like you did to Eddie.

You were still heartbroken about this and it wasn't going to get better unless you talked to Eddie, so you refused to talk about it with your friends.When you entered French class, you sat in your usual seat and Eddie, a few rows in front of you, turned around and looked at you. You looked at him for a few seconds and turned back to your book. Chrissy and her friends were looking at you and laughing among themselves as usual. Ugh, you hated them. You never buy their girls girl lie.Because you knew very well how rude they actually were. Maybe Eddie had an influence on this, no matter what, you didn't like them or the others. When the teacher started the lesson, you opened your notebook and took out your homework. Eddie didn't do his homework as always, he usually always copied your homework.Your French homework was to prepare a topic and make a presentation about it in French. You chose Mötley Crue, one of your favorite bands. In the middle of the presentation, the things Chrissy said to her friends and her annoying giggles were starting to annoy you. You were like a bomb ready to explode for 1 month and you couldn't stand it anymore. "Do you even know a single fucking thing about them?". Everyone, including Chrissy, suddenly fell silent. Since she didn't answer you, you continued, "Then why are you still talking?" teacher looked at you "That's enough,sit back down" You rolled your eyes and walked back to your place without even protesting. Chrissy knew well that Eddie and you weren't talking. Of course she would talk about this as leverage. You were trying hard not to attack her. "You're barking at everyone like a spoiled puppy," Chrissy stopped playing with her ponytail and looked at you "Excuse me?". You looked at her "Like everytime you start talking,I think to myself 'Who the fuck does this girl think she is?'" you laughed "You are so fucking boring". Teacher yelled "Get out of my class!" You were expelled from class too many times in 1 month. You were more angry and aggressive than ever. You stood up without a care and mumbled as you grabbed your bag, "Whatever." You looked at Eddie as walked out of the classroom, seeing Eddie's grin.Dickhead. He must have liked it when two girls were fighting over him. Chrissy's facial expression was enough for you. Only the men who fucked her were telling lies to her, and in this way she was trying to keep her self-confidence high. You destroyed it with a few words. You continued walking down the hall and realized you couldn't handle the next classes so you decided to go home.

The next day,while you were in the cafeteria by yourself. Nancy hurriedly came to you "Did you argued with Nancy?!" You frowned "Calm down,you're acting like I killed her" Robin laughed and took one of the grapes from the plate, "I wish." You looked at Nancy "She was being a complete idiot as always, I couldn't take it anymore". Nancy took a deep breath and said, "It's not about that girl, you're getting too much detention. You can get suspended." You shrugged, “Whatever.” Nancy rolled her eyes. “You keep saying that. Look, I know you don't want to talk about this, but this is Eddie.” she laughed and looked at you “Our Eddie,the town freak. Maybe you're overestimating him.” You looked at Nancy and put down the fork in your hand. "Actually, everyone was underestimating himr,but I don't think highly of her. At least not anymore." Nancy looked at you quickly, "Great, that's what I'm talking about. Don't you think you should get yourself back together bit?" You looked at Nancy and grabbed your tray, "I'll get it together if you guys stop being annoying." You paused and turned your gaze to Robin "Who said I was arguing with Chrissy?". When the answer was 'Eddie' you wanted to ask more about him. What was he talking about you? Did he even care about what happened between of two of you?. You cleared your throat with the things that came to your mind and turned to the girls, "See you on Saturday, maybe." When you walked away Robin and Nancy were looking at each other with a sly smile "Should we tell Eddie?" Robin paused "Should we?"

They didn't tell Eddie. Until Saturday,Nancy and Robin always asked you the same question, you never gave them a definitive answer. Because you were still stuck between going and not going. Would Chrissy be there too? Maybe Eddie wouldn't even care about you. You were thinking about these things even while applying your lipstick in front of the mirror. You continued to think about these things until you got to the concert line. You could come back home at any time. When Nancy saw you she quickly hugged you "You're here!". you smiled and hugged Nancy. Robin looked around and eyed Nancy and herself. "Don't you think we're a little too colorful for here?" You giggled and adjusted the collar of Robin's jacket, "A little bit." Robin looked at you and raised her eyebrows, "You look way too hot." Nancy smiled and looked at Robin "Because there are people she needs to make jealous." You frowned "No!". They both looked at you with the same expression and you cleared your throat "Well,okay maybe but shut up". It was about twenty minutes until the door opened and you were too excited. Even though it wasn't hot, you were sweating in your leather jacket. You were stressed out. It wasn't a very big venue, would he see you from the crowd? Fuck, you were thinking so much. You were engrossed in conversation with your friends and didn't even notice that the line was slowly moving forward. Gareth was tuning his guitar when you walked in. The stage was slightly higher than the ground. They were doing soundcheck. All you can think about was Eddie.Gareth smiled slightly when he saw you and you smiled back. You were so nervous. But why?Soon enough, when Eddie came on stage you quickly turned your gaze towards him, you were standing a little further back in the crowd, you didn't want to be right in front of the stage. Eddie's excitement was evident in his eyes, or maybe you were the only one who could read it.When the song started, Eddie fixed his guitar strap and glanced around,that was the moment he saw you.You had a stern expression on your face, but deep down the sight of you making eye contact was burning your heart. Eddie smiled slightly and lowered his head. It looked like he wanted to hide his shy smile. They had a forty-minute stage time, during which time you never took your eyes off Eddie. He also looked at you often and continued to sing and play his guitar while looking into your eyes. His bangs sticking to his forehead because he was sweating, his arms veined from playing the guitar, his facial expressions were making your heart beat faster. They were reminding you one by one how much you loved him. You smiled as everyone cheered them on with applause and you did the same with the crowd. You were proud of him,the image in front of him was part of his dreams and it was your greatest duty to support him. Eddie leaned into the microphone and brushed his bangs away from his forehead “Thank you Hawkins,I appreciate it.” "Corroded fuckinf Coffin!" a boy yelled as he can and Eddie laughed,he pointed at him "Hell yeah" Eddie pressed the guitar pedal and held the microphone. "Before we end the night,I one more song for you." He looked at you when he said "You", you couldn't be wrong. Eddie and the other band members whispered among themselves and started playing again. It had a slower guitar riff than other songs. You couldn't stop looking at Eddie as he sang the song. His facial expressions made you fall in love with him again and again. He was puckering his eyebrows and closing his eyes, his forehead was sweating and he was licking his lips. "Soft lips are open,knuckles are pale" he looked at you again "Feels like you're dying,you're dying" You felt like you were out of breath. It felt like the entire crowd had disappeared around you. "You!" he closed his eyes "Your sex is on fire"

When the song ended your legs were shaking, Eddie and the other band members were saying goodbye to the audience. You didn't even hear what they even said. They were going backstage, you tried to find your friends in the crowd. But it definitely felt like your mind wasn't working,you felt drunk but you hadn't had a drop of alcohol. When someone put a hand on your shoulder, you looked back and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Steve. You took his hand and walked out of the bar and it felt so much better to feel the oxygen more clearly. You looked at Steve "Where are the girls?". Steve shrugged "I don't know, they'll be back soon" Steve looked at you and frowned "Are you okay? Your face is pale". You nodded and fixed your hair "Yes, I'm fine" you exhaled deeply and smiled "It was very hot in there." A few minutes later,Robin and Nancy arrived. While the three of them were talking about something, your gaze was constantly wandering around, your eyes were searching for Eddie. Soon, as like your mind had been read, Eddie came up to you. While the others were showering him with praise, you just stared at Eddie, who occasionally glanced at you as if he was waiting for you to say something. "You guys were blast, it was brutal". Eddie smiled warmly and looked at you "Thank you, by the way uh…" he cleared his throat "I'm glad you came." You smiled and shook your head. Three of them were looking at two of you and there was an awkward silence. Eddie noticed this "I'm going backstage, I need to change. I'm fucking sweating" After Eddie went backstage,you continued chatting in front of the bar. A few minutes later when Gareth, Jeff and Doug came out, you looked around and looked at Nancy. "I'll be right back." You entered the venue again and tried to figure out where the backstage was. Finally figuring out where you were, you looked around and knocked on the door. "Come in" you heard Eddie's voice from inside. When you walked in you noticed that Eddie was missing his shirt. He smiled when he saw you, "Hey." You ran your gaze over Eddie's tattoos and looked back at him, "Hey." Eddie put on his T-shirt and fixed his messy hair. You tucked your hair behind your ear and cleared your throat. You looked like you were about to start a sentence, but you didn't even know what to say. You didn't even know why you were here,you were really good at making decisions without even thinking for a second. You wet your lips and looked at Eddie "I don't know why I came, I just wanted to see you" you smiled nervously. Eddie smiled, "It's good to see you, at least to see you smiling after so long." What Eddie said made you laugh and you put your hands in your leather jackets pockets. After a small laugh, you both fell silent again. Eddie said with a small smile on his face "I really miss you doll..." "Doll" it's been a long time since you heard that,he always called you with pet names "rabbit, baby-doll,princess, little monster" You missed them all so much that you smiled slightly and looked at Eddie "I miss you too Eds". Eddie was looking at you with sad eyes. You exhaled deeply, "Look, I didn't come here to talk about these things and get you down, I just wanted to s-" Eddie shook his head "No, you made this night better. It wouldn't have been a happy enough night if you hadn't come" You paused with what Eddie said and you sat the handrest of the leather couch "Nice to hear that" Eddie approached you and stood in front of you. You lifted your head slightly so you could see his face and looked at Eddie. "I'm sorry" he said. You remained silent for a few seconds, "It's okay." "No it's not". Eddie replied quickly and looked into your eyes "Never was." he swallowed "I never planned that one day I might lose you,and I acted like a kid" You looked at Eddie and spoke in a low voice "You didn't lose me, Eddie."

Eddie looked at you and put his hand on your cheek "This month has been so rough for me,all this time the fear of opening up to you cost me this" he laughed slightly as he was angry at himself "I should've told you what you meant to me,'cause now I pay the price,I broke your heart. This is my biggest regret." Eddie's words brought tears to your eyes. You tilted your head slightly, not wanting him to see you like this again. Eddie put his hand on your chin and made you look at him "I love you." the things Eddie said made you smile even though you had tears in your eyes. You sniffled and placed your hand over Eddie's hand "I love you." Eddie seemed like he's been waiting for you to say that, and as soon as you finished your sentence, he pressed his lips to yours. You quickly placed your hands on Eddie's cheeks and kissed him back. You had been waiting for this moment for so long that you felt such hunger for it. Eddie moved his hands to your waist and held you tightly as he continued to kiss you. After a few seconds, when you broke apart to take a breath,you looked at each other and started kissing again without waiting. Eddie's hands roamed your body,your fingers tangled in his curls. When Eddie's hands went to your skirt,somebody knocked the door "Eddie they're waiting for you" Gareth said from behind the door. "Piss off!" Eddie said angrily because of the moment was interrupted. You giggled and placed a small kiss on Eddie's nose "I'll wait for you outside." Eddie quickly grabbed you from your waist. “No, please.” He looked at you with his puppy ​​eyes and you giggled "We can't stay here forever" you stood up and headed towards the door, Eddie pulled you towards him and pressed you to himself "But we can stay few munites" he started kissing you again. You could feel his hardness. You giggled andgave Eddie a long kiss on the lips, "Calm down, rock star." Eddie laughed at what you said and looked at you with a smile on his face as you walked out of the room. He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror, unable to stop the grin on his face. He had your lip marks on all over his face, burgundy lipstick gave you both away. Eddie didn't care about that. After you fixed your hair and clothes,you go back to your friends and Nancy immediately bombarded you with questions. You looked at her and frowned, "I was in the bathroom calm down a bit." Nancy frowned at your attitude and finally decided to mind her own business. A few minutes later, Eddie came back to with a grin that never left his face and all four of you were looking at him in surprise. There were still lipstick stains on his face. Nancy slowly turned to you and raised her eyebrows. "You were in the bathroom,weren't you?" you pressed your lips together and exhaled deeply "I'm not going to give you a definitive answer " "She was not" Eddie spoke confidently and you looked at Eddie as Steve laughed "Shut up"

𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐

People I think will like it, I hope you don't mind!!<3

Tag list: @ali-r3n @marshmallowgem @rcailleachcola @seatnights @melodymunson @rainylana @eddievanhammettmunson @mdurdenpitt @mmunsonsthings @crazyapplesgirl1q @psychotickoda

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

The Fixed Cup

He thought for sure things had settled down between him and Eddie after Vecna. He thought maybe he and Eddie could finally be friends, but how could he be friends with someone so annoying? Steve hoped that once their bat bites healed, they would stop bitching at each other. . . Boy, was he wrong. It's like everything about Eddie set him on edge, and it didn't help that they were stuck in this quarantine that the government had set up for them. Luckily, it was in their own houses, and Eddie was lucky enough to get stuck in his.

"I swear to God, Robin, I'm going to kill him," Steve complained into the receiver. "I mean it this time, and it will be self-defense too because I think he's also trying to kill me. If I trip over his shoes one more time. . ."

"Hmm, well, like I said before, I'm not helping you bury the body," Robin said casually.

"Aw, come on, big boy, it's so much fun watching you clean up after me," Eddie taunted from the other line.

"Get off the other line, Eddie! Goddamnit!" Steve cursed.

"Well, then, how else will I find out what you and Robbie say about me?" Eddie said.

"Well, I think you're a lovely person, Eddie," Robin said.

"Well, I'm glad someone thinks so," Eddie replied.

"Robin!" Steve whined.

"Just keeping you on your toes, Steve," Robin said. "Well, as much fun as this is. . .I'm going to call Vickie."

The line went dead, and Steve scowled before slamming the phone back on the hook. He ran down into the kitchen to find Eddie giggling at the island.

"Munson! You're such an asshole! You know I only have a certain amount of time to talk to her! Why the fuck do you have to do that?" Steve asked.

"The more you keep letting me know it bothers you. . .the more I'm going to do it," Eddie cackled. "It's fun riling you up."

Steve let out a holler and started chasing him around the kitchen. Eddie ran out laughing.

"Dick!"

Of course, it was mostly Eddie who enjoyed taunting him, but there were times that Eddie would get as annoyed with him as Steve did with Eddie himself.

"I told you I don't want to watch some dumb laundry basket game!" Eddie yelled as he grabbed for the remote.

"And I don't want to watch some stupid nerdy cartoon!" Steve yelled as he yanked back the remote.

"You're a douchebag!" He screamed.

"Oh, like you're one to talk!" Steve screamed back.

Eddie shrieked and dove on top of him. Of course, they would wrestle around with it for a while until their wounds gave them no choice but to collapse on the floor in exhaustion. They were mostly healed but still not healed enough. Steve’s not sure what it was. Maybe it was the fact that they were stuck here together with no one else. Maybe they missed their friends, Eddie missing his uncle, or maybe it was the fact that neither one of them could stop the nightmares that came every night. They were on edge all the time, whenever they were around each other. Sometimes, they just crossed the line.

"Eddie!" Steve exclaimed. "That's not a cup you drink out of! There's a sign!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, is the peasant living in King Steve’s house supposed to drink out of the poor cups?!" Eddie exclaimed as he slammed the cup down.

Of course, slamming it down on the table caused it to shatter.

"It's my grandmother's!" Steve said through gritted teeth.

"I'm sure your mommy and daddy can buy your granny another one," Eddie rolled his eyes.

"She hand-made that," Steve said, his eyes glittering with tears.

"And she can't make another one?" Eddie asked.

"It's kind of hard to do anything when you're dead," Steve snapped.

"Shit, man, I'm so - ," Eddie started to say but was startled when Steve slammed him against the wall like Eddie did that day in the boat house.

"I wish I never - " and Steve stopped himself.

"What? Saved my life?" Eddie asked, bristling.

Steve stared at him, gripping the collar of his shirt, and for once, he didn't know what to say. Eddie pushed him off of him and stormed upstairs. They didn't speak to each other for days after that. Steve thought it would be a blessing, but he found that he missed the sound of Eddie's voice. Steve had woken up in the middle of the night, after struggling to go to sleep, and walked into the kitchen to find Eddie gluing the cup back together.

"Almost as good as new," Eddie said, and Steve found himself smiling. "I mean, I wouldn't drink out of it. . ."

"Maybe I can use it as a pencil holder," Steve said and paused. "Thanks. . .and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. . ."

"I know. I'm sorry, too, man," Eddie said softly.

"I know that it doesn't seem like it, but I'm glad I'm stuck here with you," Steve said.

"Yeah?" Eddie asked and he nodded. "Back at ya."

And for a little bit, it seemed like they were almost getting along until. . .

"I didn't ask you to clean my room, Harrington. You're not my goddamn mommy," Eddie snapped.

"It was driving me crazy!" Steve exclaimed. "Just like you do! I'm sorry if I didn't want you to trip in the middle of the night!"

"You don't have to worry about me, Harrington! I can look after myself, thanks!" Eddie growled.

"It's hard to tell! You couldn't even follow simple instructions! All you had to do was follow the plan. Instead, I find you almost dying in Dustin's goddamn arms!" Steve yelled.

Eddie screamed and pushed Steve up against the wall, pressing his body up against his. They were so close that their noses were almost touching. Eddie pinned Steve’s hand above his head.

"Shut up!"

"Fucking make me."

Eddie growled again before slamming his lips to Steve’s. His eyes widened before he melted into the kiss, moaning into Eddie's mouth. He nibbled on Eddie's lip before swiping his tongue over it and slipping into his mouth. Steve felt his body move on his own and freed himself from Eddie's grasp. He pushed Eddie back onto the bed before ripping off his shirt in a quick single motion, dropping it onto the floor. Eddie was propped up on his elbows, waiting for him. The realization hit him in that moment. . .Holy shit, he just made out with a guy! It wasn't long before Eddie made that same realization, and he looked just as startled as Steve felt. Leaving his shirt behind, Steve quickly ran out of the room. They quickly avoided each other, and not talking seemed to last longer than the cup incident.

"Robin - ," Steve croaked on the phone when he picked up.

"Jesus. You sound like shit," Robin said. "Did you and Eddie get into it?"

"Something like that," Steve said. "I wish I could tell you, but it's not just my place to say."

"I swear to God, I'm willing to risk breaking quarantine. Do I need to come over there?" Robin asked. "Did Eddie do something that requires me to kick his ass? Because as much as I like him, I'll kick his ass if he actually hurt you."

"Eddie didn't do anything wrong. I think I just realized something is all," Steve said and paused. "I kind of wished we were on the floor of the bathroom for this. . .Do you think that it's possible to like girls and also like guys?"

"Oh, dingus," Robin said softly, her voice full of love. "Anything is possible. Especially that. So, you don't actually hate Eddie?"

"Turns out. . . Not so much. . .not at all, actually. I don't think I ever hated him," Steve admitted. "What do I do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do? Do you want to do something about it, or do you want to fill out the rest of your life full of regrets? You told me to go for Vickie, and you were right. Sometimes, things do work out for the best," Robin said.

"I want to do something about it," Steve said.

"Go get your man, Steve," Robin said with a grin.

Of course, actually doing something about it was harder than he thought. Steve had chickened out a couple of times. His house made it easy for them to avoid each other, and when they did come together, it was completely awkward silence. They didn't even fight over the remote anymore. Steve missed the sound of his voice even more now. What was it going to be like when the quarantine was over? Nothing happened until Steve woke up from a nightmare, went downstairs, and broke down crying in the kitchen. The kitchen light flickered on.

"Steve?" Eddie asked, and Steve jumped.

"I'm fine," Steve sniffled.

"You don't sound fine, man," Eddie said. "Nightmare?"

As soon as Eddie touched his shoulder, Steve burst into tears again and hugged Eddie around the waist.

"You were dead. You were dead and I was alone in this house again," Steve sobbed.

"Oh, sweetheart," Eddie said, running his hand through his hair. "You've got me no matter what. I'm here."

"Would you still be here if I told you that I'm starting to fall in love with you?" Steve asked and pulled back, his hands on Eddie's hips.

"Even more so, big boy," Eddie said, cupping his face.

He stepped in between Steve’s legs and leaned down to kiss him, falling into Steve’s lap. The kiss was short and sweet. . .getting its point across perfectly.

"I'm starting to fall for you too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You want to come to bed with me? Keep the nightmares away?" Steve asked.

"Absolutely."

Eddie took his hand, and together, they walked upstairs. When the quarantine finally ended, Robin was the first one through the door. Steve was at the stove, making breakfast.

"Please, tell me you settled things with Eddie," Robin said.

"Nope! Still hate the guy! Thought for a moment that there was something else, but I was wrong! The man is just so goddamn annoying - " Steve ranted.

"Steve! Are you fucking serious?" Robin asked.

Suddenly, Eddie pounced into the room wearing Steve’s yellow sweater and one sock.

"No, but he is fucking me. We worked things out, Robbie," Eddie said, kissing Steve.

Steve giggled against Eddie's lips as Robin yelled in frustration.

"Assholes!" Robin exclaimed and plopped down at the island. "So, tell me everything."

"Hm, everything? You want all the gory details of Steve railing me so hard into his mattress that he nearly breaks his back?" Eddie asked.

"Eddie, don't scar my best friend!"

"What can I tell her? Oooh! He likes holding hands during sex," Eddie said.

"Aww."

"Eddie!"

Steve rolled his before smiling fondly and kissing Eddie.

"Aww, what happened to your grandma's cup, Steve?" Robin asked.

"Don't worry about it, Robin, it's all fixed now. . ."

[weebsinstash]

Ohmygod your thoughts on Yandere Miguel give me life

Idk how your blog works so feel free to ignore and delete this ask but I have some thoughts I'd like your take on

So platonic yandere Miguel with a teen reader who's crushing on a villain from her universe (im a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope </3). And villain reciprocates feelings but is obviously evil (i can't fix them I'll love them for it) so Miguel HATES it even more.

And I'm imagining that villain is also a yandere so there's just gonna be so much drama like AHDISHDUSHD

But yes this idea has been bouncing around in my head alot

If you give me permission I shall come in here with more thoughts on this if I get them

Anygays have a nice day or night make sure to stay hydrated!!!

*Tyler the creator voice* ok ok ok ok ok

so, I was thinking of something earlier, and, I forgot to grab a screenshot of it, but, extremely incredibly minor ATSV spoiler, when Miles is being shown the holograms of the Spiderverse, another series of canon events that is shown is every Spider having some sort of Symbiote experience (as in Venom, which, I have to admit, I'm uh, not extremely knowledgeable on Spiderman lore, I've been out of the game with this series since like grade school, I used to be big on DC and TMNT and hero shit, so, yeah)

Reader is just crushing on like, some evil Eddie Brock or some bad boy with a Symbiote, and dedicated/obsessive Papá Miguel instantly recognizes when your moods and behaviors start to change, more rebellious, more moody, you're becoming a bit more assertive, but not always in the good way, you're hurting people, maybe even stealing and other petty crimes. He presses you on who you've been hanging out with because APPARENTLY you've been sneaking off your watch so you can't inherently be tracked or spied on or contacted

Some drama ass shit like, Miguel has been trying to reach you because you both have some sort of really sentimental or important date coming up, maybe the anniversary of when he first met you or your birthday or his birthday where you both were supposed to do something nice together, something that's been planned and talked about for ages, and then, this rebellion stuff begins and, the date comes and you completely ghost him, he can't find you, contact you, he's frustrated and angry but also worried because what if you're hurt? What if his baby girl is HURT 🥺 SURELY that's the ONLY reason you wouldnt show up and break your poor stressed beloved daddy's heart liks this 🥺 and he finally finds you and you're totally fine, it's just like "haha sorry 'dad' I was getting railed by my evil big tall hunky villain boyfriend and also I have a Symbiote now, look at my spooky black costume, im evil now :)" and here's Miguel like "NOOO PRINCESA 😭😱✝️", but, technically he's only able to interfere in certain ways, like, maybe he can pressure you to break up with this guy but your Symbiote is canon and whether you defeat it and get rid of it or somehow master it and befriend it like say Ghost Spider, that isn't up to him, he can only pressure you but he can't MAKE you do anything, at least, not directly

You're running around having your rebellious Evil Girl Autumn and he's trying to, you know, steer you back onto the path of righteousness and all that and the harder he tries to control you the angrier you're getting until you're even losing your temper and throwing things at him or eventually physically attacking him (to which he's forced to overpower you which, you two have sparred before but this is different and it breaks his heart). You throw your watch at him and tell him to go fuck himself, that you hate him, that you never want to see him again, but you're crying and he takes this as a sign you aren't serious (which, you aren't, not 100% completely, you kinda lowkey ARE having a huge temper tantrum and rebellious phase and being a criminal brat, but, like.... spiderverse babyyyy we got Spider powers, shit has no consequences, or so it feels like to you at the time, and the Symbiote is maybe questionably evil and corrupting your thoughts)

Oh I just realized you said teen reader and here I am talking about getting railed 💀 maybe the villain is a teen too or just a few years older than you but either way like. Miguel doesn't want his sweet innocent pure virginal baby girl having sex! With anyone! Especially before marriage! (Although i was hearing he's kind of a slut in the comics?) He ever finds that shit out it's like, A CRISIS EVENT. He's like that one stereotype of brothers/fathers who hate seeing their sister/daughter date because that's the baby the raised/grew up with. Picture having an argument with him and you're just trying to piss him off and like, it's true but in anger you say "OH YEAH? oh YEAH??? Well, well, you know how you hate Hobie Brown so much?! We've been dating JUST TO MUTUALLY SPITE YOU, and you know what, i actually like him, and he likes me! Maybe we'll hook up for real! Maybe I'll FUCK HIM, DAD :) maybe we'll HAVE A BABY TOGETHER, DAD :)"

Like girlie nooooo you're getting put into The Biggest Time-Out The Multiverse Has Ever Seen. You think getting locked up in a room would be bad, NO, because at least you'd have some vague sense of privacy and personal space. You're now on 24/7 Daughter Duty, with him literally all the time except for, bathing and that stuff. He's dragging you around, making you accompany him, controlling what you're allowed to do, really an extended prolonged punishment. Hss making you sit in his office or whatever while he works and you'll be absolutely fucking bored out of your mind because you're basically given nothing to do, have no phone, no tasks really. He's not outright hurting or abuse you but it's a kind of psychological burden for you, but from his perspective he's just, basically guarding you like a dedicated father, protecting his baby from tarnishing her reputation, her body, and otherwise when he isn't there. CLEARLY he has a lot more fathering to give you than he originally thought

[wheels-of-despair]

The Boy Is Mine (The Wheels Edition) Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Eddie and Evil Woman have a romantic night in. Contains: Snacks, smokes, alcoholic beverages purchased at a discount, teasing, snarking, fake snoring, Eddie being a butt-head. Project: @carolmunson's The Boy Is Mine Exercise Words: 700ish

(I haven't read any of the other entries yet, so if this is similar to someone else's... I'm sorry your brain is also lame. 😂 Props and dialogue prompts are in bold.)

"I ran out of like, nice cups, is this okay?"

"Eddie, we're drinking wine from a box that we got in the clearance aisle," you laugh from the couch. "A coffee mug is fine."

Eddie grins and brings two mugs to the coffee table, then kneels by the TV to put in the first movie of the night.

You take a minute to survey the heart-achingly romantic scene in front of you: Date Night at Eddie's. (Sponsored by Markdown Day at Bradley's Big Buy.) You scored a cheap box of wine, heavily discounted cupcakes with the lopsided vanilla frosting, several bags of chips nearing expiration dates, and even a small cookie cake that was originally intended for someone named Carol.

"That everything?"

"Yup," you answer, reaching for a mug of wine and propping your feet up. The VCR comes to life with a clunk, the noise on the TV becomes a crappy monster movie, and Eddie drops onto the cushion next to you with a bounce.

He leans back with his own drink, and you clink your mugs before sampling your cheap-ass wine… which actually isn't bad.

"The hell is this," Eddie mumbles into his mug.

"Cheap wine?" you supply helpfully, going in for another sip.

"And you like it?"

"It's everything I want from a box of discounted grocery store wine," you chuckle.

"It's fruity," he complains.

"So are you."

"Shut up," he grumbles good-naturedly, leaning forward to grab a bag of chips.

You crunch and munch and maybe take a few hits off a bowl and drink your cheap wine while you enjoy your cheesy monster movie.

Every few minutes, Eddie leans forward to grab a small notebook from the coffee table and scribble in it with a pencil he's chewed the eraser off of.

"Whatcha doin'?" you finally ask.

"Campaign stuff," he says without looking up.

"Yeah? Am I inspiring you?" you tease.

"Nah," he mumbles. "Movie."

"Hmph," you scoff playfully. "I see how it is." You scoot toward the other end of the couch, leaving behind the warmth of the thigh that had been pressing against yours for the last hour. You lean back over and steal the bag of chips from his lap as an afterthought. This is when he decides to look up.

"What are you doing?"

"Being uninspirational," you say cheekily, popping a chip in your mouth.

"Aw, don't be like that. That's not even true." He puts down his little notebook and his gnawed-on pencil and crawls toward you. He rests his head on your shoulder, throws an arm across your stomach, and looks up at you with his best puppy eyes.

You roll your eyes and reach into the bag for a chip, holding it to his mouth. He opens wide and accepts. You alternate between feeding him and yourself through the movie's thrilling climax.

Eddie doesn't move when the end credits begin to roll. You give your shoulder a gentle shake to get his attention. His head slides down onto your breast.

"Eddie. Movie's over."

He nuzzles his face into your chest.

"I'll change the tape. Just let me up."

"Can't hear you. Sleeping."

"Eddie. I gotta pee."

"Honk-shoo, honk-shoooo," Eddie fake snores. You know he's grinning. Like an idiot. Because he is one.

You reach for the nearest throw pillow, take aim, and smack him in the face with it.

"That wasn't nice," he grumbles.

"Unhand me, nerd."

"No."

You hit him again.

"If you don't stop, we're gonna have a problem."

"Already got one," you smirk. "Big eyes, bigger mouth, won't get the hell off of me."

You feel him chuckle, but he still doesn't move, so you whack him in the face with the pillow again.

Eddie growls and tries to take it from you. A struggle ensues. It's all a tangle of hair and limbs for a few seconds, but you emerge from the chaos victorious and free of one Edward Munson.

He crosses his arms over the pillow and pouts when he realizes you've escaped.

"I'm coming right back, nerd," you call over your shoulder. "Pour me another mug of that crappy wine if you want me to put out tonight."

You hear him scrambling into the kitchen before you even close the bathroom door.

[angel-inked]

What happens when you find them asleep?

You come home and call out to your significant other to alert them to your presence but get no answer 🤔

Had the idea for this at like 2-something AM lol

Taglist: @vvkingofgaybisciutsvv @thequeenofthewinter @thedevilshardy @inkwolvesandcoffee @wandawiccan60 @cameleonhardyfan63 @potter-solomons

Muscle boi

"Bebe, I'm home!". No response, that's odd. Tommy just about always greets you like a loyal dog when you get home, quite literally like a dog, because then it turns into him wanting nothing but your attention. That's where you're different, Tommy usually silently stares at someone with an annoyed glare until they leave him alone, but for you? He's basically a sweet saint bernard who still thinks he's a lap puppy.

What worries you is you know he's home, cause otherwise the door wouldn't have been unlocked. You start cautiously making your way around the house, not exactly eager to poke your head around corners, as the last time this happened, Tommy came up behind you and scared you shitless! "Come on! I was just playin' with you!" You recalled his voice that day, as he was laughing his ass off.

Finally, you found yourself in the living room. Hearing some kind of light thunderstorm ambiance playing, the kind Tommy likes to listen to when he's trying to calmly fall asleep. That explains why he didn't greet you at the door. You moved toward the couch, leaning your elbows on the back of it.

Sure enough, Tommy was sleeping and peacefully for once! It wasn't uncommon for him to wake up in a panic in the middle of the night only to refuse to tell you what's wrong when you calm him down. Cypress, your tabby and white ragdoll, mewed up at you from her spot, curled up against and being kept nice and warm by Tommy's stomach, her head and paw resting on his side.

You smirked to yourself seeing Tommy had the stuffed Valentine's bear you gave him locked in a death grip, clinging to it like his life depended on it. Maybe something to hold on to was all he needed to fall asleep and actually stay asleep, as cute as the sight before you was you couldn't help but snicker to yourself as you remembered Tommy asking you what he, an MMA fighter, was supposed to do with a child's toy.

"So much for the stupid bear".

The chaotic duo!

You groaned tiredly as you walked into the apartment you shared with your boyfriend and his partner, "Eddie? V? you guys in here?" You called. The TV was on, and a certain symbiote was clicking through the channels, "ya know for literally being an alien from another planet, you sure do like sitcoms" you giggled, walking up to the couch and sitting on the arm rest.

Glancing down, you saw Eddie fast asleep, lips slightly parted as soft snores escaped the back of his throat. "How long as he been like this?" You asked, looking back up at the black mass that was attached to Eddie at the shoulder. "Two hours," Vemon's voice rumbled, "Puny human is always tired". "Hey! Who the hell saved you from becoming another failed lab experiment?" You scolded. Vemon looked down at Eddie, almost shamefully.

It wasn't uncommon for you to scold the symbiote as if you were scolding a child, Eddie looked terrified the first time you did. Vemon, however, just hid inside of Eddie and refused to come back out, that's when Eddie's expression turned to amazement, "I never would've believed Vemon could be scolded without someone losing their head if I hadn't seen it for myself!".

"Big scary alien my ass! Eddie's self-esteem is already low enough without adding your mockery to the mix". You didn't care about Vemon's ungodly amount of teeth, and you certainly weren't afraid of them. Eddie and Vemon occasionally acted of one mind, but when they didn't... "Sorry" Vemon mumbled. "Alright," you sighed, patting Vemon on the head, and held a snickers out to the alien from your pocket, knowing how hangry the symbiote could be.

"You're not you when you're hungry".

Camden's King

After what you and your husband called work, you discovered what you thought was Alfie relaxing in the parlor after a long day. What you actually discovered was Alfie Solomons asleep on the couch, still clutching a glass of bourbon.

You glance down at Cyril, who was laying his head atop Alfie's crossed feet. Cyril perked his ears up and let out a small whine as you looked at him. "Yep, there's the big bad gang leader everyone's afraid of" you hummed to yourself, a smirk resting lazily on your face. Gently freeing the glass from Alfie's grip, you opted to down the rest of the liquor yourself, waste not want not.

"Not bad, good taste Mr. Solomons" you thought, setting the glass on the coffee table. Carefully draping a blanket over his sleeping form, a groan emerged from the back of his throat as he slightly adjusted himself. The groan was a satisfied sound, he was comfortable "goodnight Alfie" you whispered, brushing a few strands of redish brown hair back from his face.

"Yea, it is with you 'ere" he mumbled, slipping more and more into slumber. You smiled. It feels good to finally feel needed. Life in Camden will certainly be quieter without my brothers trailing after me, good riddance, I say!

Sweet dreams highflyer..

A small cottage in the English countryside, a garden with a white picket fence around it, what more could you ask for? Your beloved. Since yesterday, Farrier's aviator's hat has been hanging on the coat rack by the door. You had heard word from Collins that Farrier had been captured by the Gremen, which is why you were rendered speechless when he showed up on the doorstep with a boutique of wildflowers in hand.

"The garden looks lovely" he said after you stared at him blankly for a moment, as if unsure what you were staring at was even real. He doesn't seem too keen to explain what happened, Farrier never was one for what he considered idle chatter, for he spoke with purpose only. He'll come around at his own pace, he always does.

The lady at the shop expressed her apologies for your love becoming a victim of the war. It seems you're the only one who knows Farrier came home. Well, except for Collins, probably. Once you were home with your shopping, you called out to him, "Farrier?". Nothing, walking into the living room, you found him.

Catching up on sleep, something you're sure he hasn't done much of for some time. You smiled while gazing at his sleeping figure, messy brown hair, loose-fitting clothes, and Confetti, the black and white border collie, loyally guarding his side as he slept. "Good girl," you grinned, rubbing her head. Farrier called her Confetti after you gave her to him for his birthday. You gently lay a light blanket over him and kiss his forehead,

"Sweet dreams highflyer."

Criminal.

Criminal. One of the many things your family called him, did you care? Hell no! You ran with Forrest and his brothers as teenagers and had no plans on stopping now. "Howdy!" Howard smiled with a tip of his hat, holding the screen door as you walked in and walked out after you gave him a smile.

You wondered through the station to the middle brother's office, nodding to Maggie as you passed through the barroom. Coming to a stop in front of his office door, you gave it a little knock. No answer. You push the door open to poke your head in, seeing Forrest in his desk chair.

His head flopped over to the side, and the steady raising and falling of his chest confirmed your suspicions that he was sleeping. Keeping Howard and Jack in line could prove to be quite a tiring task. A smile lined your lips as a groan emerged from the back of his throat as you ran your hand through his hair.

"Forrest," you said quietly, gently prodding him to wake up. He was definite for a moment, scrunching up his features and lightly pushing your hand away from his arm. Finally, he relented. Opening his eyes halfway to look up at you.

"Let's get you to bed, shall we? Your neck and back will thank me later."

[takerfoxx]

G1 Climax season is over! Quick thoughts!

Naito wins, YES! Naito got me into New Japan almost eight years ago. I know this is probably his last main event run, and I intend to cherish every minute of it.

The four block system worked a lot better than it did last year. Curious to see if they keep it, or go back to two blocks.

A Block was one of the best single blocks we've had in a long time, and it's largely thanks to the new blood. The future is in good hands.

C Block was...eh. It certainly had its moments. But it was the weakest.

Of the Reiwa Musketeers (sorry boys, the name's stuck), Yota is by far the best. Shota and Ren still need to step out of their influences' shadows.

Was sort of disappointed that Chase Owens didn't beat Sanada like he said he would, but then again, given the allegations against Chase, maybe rooting for him is a thing that just shouldn't happen.

Ospreay is just on another level at this point. Good God.

Love Henare's new level up. Hope he starts racking up some real wins. Though is he really Maori royalty?

Being a Great O-Khan fan is suffering. Dude, did you piss in Gedo's coffee or something?

Kaito really won me over. Was hoping he'd make the playoffs, but it wasn't to be. Though man, they were really burying NOAH.

Glad to see GoD back.

I'll admit, I talked shit about David Finlay when he became the new leader of Bullet Club, mainly because he had basically been a jobber up to that point and his new presentation was basically just, "We have Jay White at home." But he and the rest of War Dogs have really impressed me. This new vicious streak that these guys have brought to Bullet Club has been a breath of fresh air, ESPECIALLY Gabe Kidd.

Fuck the House of Torture. Those matches with Shingo and Sanada were some bullshit. Yeah, I know where it's going, it was a still bullshit.

Taichi just out here playing therapist to wrestlers having a slump.

Speaking of which, that match with EVIL aside, Sanada is really growing into his own as champion. I know the first world title reign tends to be more a test run than a real reign, but he's matured by leaps and bounds over the tournament.

Watching Eddie Kingston live his dream and have the time of his life has been a delight.

Out of all the tag team guys, Mikey Nicholls was definitely the most rough, with the scary botches loudly called spots. He got better, but it was rough going for a bit.

Shane Haste was a lot of fun, though.

Toru Yano's antics seemed to have been stepped up this year. And the old Toru Yano coming out on that last night was awesome.

Hikuleo finally seemed to click halfway through and settled into his groove as a big guy. I still wish Kaito made the elite eight, but he was a good second choice.

Zack continues to just be a joy to watch.

Sad to say, but it's time for Tanahashi to really wind things down. He's practically falling apart out there.

ELP's whole redemption arc was just great to watch. To go from being a man without a country, no friends, and not being able to buy a win to grinding his way to third place in his block and finding a home with GoD, which I guess is an actual faction now. I've been a fan of him for years, so having him as a white hot babyface is just fantastic.

I don't want to see the day in which a G1 doesn't have Ishii.

I'm okay with Ospreay making the US title the Uk title, but would prefer for it to change back after he drops it. Or, you know, BRING BACK THE IC TITLE!

[twpsyn-who]

I wish Steddie was popular during the whole Squid Game period just to have my TikTok full of draws of this scene with them

[darknight3904]

Sober - Eddie Munson

Chapter 19- A Night At The Boathouse

Masterlist

Spending the night in a boat house wasn't Marguerite's idea of a good night of sleep, hell it probably wasn't anyone's idea. But, after Eddie had finished telling his story and Dustin assuring that they'd bring a food delivery the first thing the next day, Marguerite couldn't say no to the boy who was pleading to stay. It was especially hard since he looked so lonely in the boat with the blue tarp half tossed on him, of course Eddie's big brown eyes weren't helping. Curse genetics for making him with those puppy dog eyes.

"What do ya want for dinner Eds?" Marguerite asked

"Oh uh I don't know. I honestly just want you here you don't have to spend money on me." Eddie said

"Eddie, three weeks ago you begged me to buy you your own pint of ice cream at the grocery store." She rose a brow

"Okay okay fine. What's even open at this time?" He asked

"Probably Pizza hut but I feel like all we do as a couple is eat pizza." She laughed

The sides of his mouth were quirking up into a smile, he tried to fight it by looking at the ground.

"Maybe that shitty Chinese food place downtown." She suggested

"Yeah but that's like a million miles away." Eddie groaned

"Half an hour isn't a million miles." Marguerite said

"Mmm well it feels like that to me." Eddie said

"Well we can't just not eat. Food is needed for life y'know." Marguerite said

"Well...I have an idea about what I could eat." Eddie smirked before pulling her down into the boat with him.

She landed with a soft thump on his lap and his hands found her waist.

"Eddie! I'm serious!" She whined

"I'm serious!" He whined right back mimicking a high pitched voice.

"I don't sound like that dipshit." She said

"I don't sound like that!" He mimicked again

°°°

After much debate, Eddie allowed Marguerite to go and pick up some Chinese food. Despite his initial distaste for the greasy stuff, he found himself wolfing it down basically as soon as she got back in the door.

"Jesus christ would you at least let me get some of the noodles?" She groaned trying to rip the little white container from his hands

"Sorry. I haven't eaten in hours." Eddie said

"Yeah no shit. Hey! Stop hogging all the rice!"

After their feast was completed and Eddie had tried to burp the alphabet, the pair cuddled up in the boat, old life jackets serving as a bed.

"You can go inside if you want. I won't be offended." Eddie whispered

"And leave you all alone? I said I'm staying and that means I'm staying." Marguerite replied

Another beat of silence passed as Marguerite tried to ignore the ache in her neck.

"I just keep seeing it. It's like it's on replay over and over and over again." Eddie said quietly

Marguerite didn't have to ask what he was referencing, she knew he meant Chrissy's final moments and how she went floating.

"I know this sounds stupid, but it will get better." She said softly

"I know. It's just insane. I never thought something this wild would happen, even to me." Eddie said

Marguerite nodded as her thoughts drifted. Her brain conjured up how she wasn't able to sleep for weeks after Billy was gone. Every time her eyes would shut all she could see was him on the mall floor.

"Eddie, I love you." She said suddenly

God Marguerite wanted to slap herself. They had barely been together 3 months and here she was confessing to him like some stupid girl on Valentine's day.

Eddie must've sensed her turmoil because he was laughing and brushing the hair from her face as she pouted.

"Ah...uh just ignore me I'm really tired." She said

"Quit pouting, you'll get wrinkles on your face." Was his only reply

She woke up the next morning still under the tarp. The scent of dust and God knows what else was suffocating as she pulled it off her head. Her gaze fell to Eddie who was poised at the window ready to strike with his beer bottle in hand. Marguerite couldn't even get a word in before the door swung open to reveal Steve and the rest of them, arms heavy with groceries.

"Delivery!" Dustin chimed

Marguerite had never seen anyone eat Honeycombs as fast as Eddie. She swore he wasn't even chewing as Dustin gave him the news of the town.

"So your name hasn't gone public yet but it's only a matter of time. And before you know it everyone and their mother will be out looking." Robin said

"Hunt the freak right?" Eddie said

"Exactly."

Marguerite reluctantly left Eddie in the boat house and headed for her car. Steve was taking Robin, Dustin, and Max out to see what the sirens were while She was going to try and find Lucas as per Dustin's suggestion.

"Hey, Erica is Lucas here by any chance?" She asked when the girl opened the door

"No. He hasn't been home in days." She said

"Oh. You uh have any idea where he could have gone?" She asked hopefully

"No but when you find him tell him he owes me ten bucks for everyday I'm covering."

That was all Marguerite was able to get out of Erica Sinclair before she slammed the door in her face.

"Brat." She mummered under her breath

"Dustin to Maggie do you copy?" A loud voice came from the walkie talkie the curly haired boy had insisted she take

She scrambled for the radio, banging her funny bone in the process.

"It's Maggie I'm here." She said into the radio

"Good. We're going to Miss Kelly's house and then we're going to the school. Meet us there in 45 over and out " Dustin said

"Wait the guidance counselor? What's she got to do with any of this? Dustin? Dustin? Hello?!"

Okay it's official, she hates children.

Now, she had 45 minutes to kill and she found herself pulling up to Jeff's garage where Coroded Coffin practiced.

"Hiya boys!" She greeted

"Maggie!"

They were a good group. A little gross sometimes but Marguerite enjoyed the time she spent with them and Eddie at practices and performances.

"Why are you here?" Gareth asked

Shit. Why was she here? She couldn't say that they were breaking into school and she needed to kill time before said breaking in.

"Oh y'know still looking for my missing boyfriend." She lied

"Eddie's still gone? I'm sure he's just high off his ass somewhere." Jeff said

"Oh how comforting." Marguerite said

"Oh uh sorry."

Eddie's friends were never very good with social cues. That was okay by her standards as she sat there and listened to their newest song. Of course, it was missing one lead guitarist and Marguerite knew it would sound even better once Eddie wasn't on the run.

The music continued as Marguerite listened however was sadly interrupted when Jason Carver and his goons walked down the drive way.

"We're looking for Eddie Munson." Jason said

"Why?" Gareth asked

"That's our business. Just tell us where you think he could be." Jason said

"I don't think he'll be telling you anything." Marguerite said scanning the newcomers

Her eyes landed on Lucas who seemed to be confused and looked like he was questioning everything.

"Who the hell are you?" One of the boys asked, Marguerite was pretty sure that he was Patrick McKinney.

"None of your damn business. They don't know where Eddie is so fuck off." She said

"Wait a second..." Jason stepped away from Jeff and towards her "I know you. You're always running around with that that freak. You're his girl or something."

Shit.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She denied

"Bull shit. I saw you and Munson making out in that shit van of his like two weeks ago.

Double shit.

Marguerite opened her mouth to say something but was cut off with a quick punch directly at her face. She flew to the side and groaned as she felt the concrete of the garage hit her back. Loud shouts ensued as she tried to stem the blood that was now flowing from her temple.

"Tell me what I want to know or I break it!"

Her eyes drifted to Jason and Jeff. Jason had Jeff by the arm was was pressing him against the ground.

"Dustin Henderson! He called looking for Eddie a day or so ago! He might know!"

Triple shit.

[fawn-eyed-girl]

DUSTIN HENDERSON FOR THE CHARACTER ASK

@mrfeenysmustache, dear, I am SO SORRY for not answering this sooner, but I needed to be home, and it takes me a LONG time to do these, and I wanted to make sure I gave Dustin his due justice, because I adore him and he deserves it. Let's go!

Favorite thing about them

Dustin is the darling of our Stranger Things crew (to me, anyway). I love his passion, his kindness, his sass. He's the best boy--the sunshine boy!--of the group. Will is either angsting or in danger, Mike is too into El to think about anything else, Lucas is trying so hard to fit in, and Dustin is just...himself. He owns who he is, and he's not afraid to embrace it. I think is part of what just makes him amazing. At an age where kids are trying really hard to find themselves, Dustin, in some ways, already has. He's a nerd, he's really fucking cool, and he doesn't really care who knows it.

Also--I will say more about this a little bit later--but he has this way about him, where he's able to connect to just about anyone. And I absolutely adore that about him, too.

Least favorite thing about them

Not so much about him, but I wish that his friends recognized his awesomeness a little bit more 🥲

Favorite line

I'm gonna go with two here:

"Mike, I found the chocolate pudding!" (If you are a fan of the old MTV show The State, you understand why this makes me laugh really hard.)

And, dealing truths: "Don't you think it's time you moved on from primitive constructs such as popularity?"

(God, I really love him.)

brOTP

This one I SUPER had to think about. Because honestly, it's pretty close between Eddie and Steve. I am gonna go with Steve here, though, and let me explain a bit about why.

When Dustin and Steve strike up their friendship, Steve is still immature, still thinks of himself as the Big Man on Campus (which, no dude, you graduated), still thinks of himself as god's gift to women, etc. He's kind of obnoxious still, and even though he's made progress since S1, he's still kind of a dick. It takes Dustin (and Robin, but that's for another time!) to help Steve grow up and become the chestly-haired man that we know and love today.

Dustin and Steve's friendship, to me, was unique, because they were, on the surface, opposites. I think Dustin brought out a side of Steve that was there all along--the kind, brave, compassionate side--but it took Dustin's encouragement and friendship to help Steve see that it was okay to be a little bit vulnerable, that it was okay to fight for what he wanted, and that it was okay to be who he was, both inside and out. I don't think we have the Steve Harrington of Seasons 3 and 4 without Dustin Henderson, and that's why I pick him for their brOTP.

Eddie is already fairly comfortable in his own skin, and he and Dustin have a much easier friendship. It's still awesome and special (see below), but I was thinking about whose life did Dustin change? Definitely Steve's.

Just look at the joy!! MY GOD I LOVE THEM.

OTP

I really like Susie for Dustin. He needs a really, really smart person who is going to appreciate his intelligence and his wit. She does both. I just wish she didn't live in Utah, because I want Dustin and Susie shenanigans, like all the time. But I understand why they can't be in the same town, let alone the same state. They would absolutely, totally, rule the galaxy.

nOTP

This one is a good question, too. I'm not sure! Maybe Mike. Mike needs to spend some time working on himself, before he can really be good in a relationship. (Side note: Dustin and Will would also be super, super cute, because Dustin would take such good care of Will 😭)

Random headcanon

After Dustin and Wayne Munson have their little moment at the end of Season 4, Dustin keeps coming to visit Wayne, who is living in a hotel while he figures out his next steps. He brings Wayne food, and books, and they sit and talk about everything and nothing. Dustin eventually brings Mr. Munson an old DnD set. Lucas, Erica, and Will come along with him, and they teach Mr. Munson how to play. And Mr. Munson takes over Eddie's spot in the Hellfire Club, and it's sweet and sad and magical and endearing.

Unpopular opinion

Dustin, my dude, keeping a Demogorgon in your house as a pet was not your best moment. I'm sorry.

Song i associate with them

I have been waiting for this one. 2022 Dustin is a big Greta Van Fleet fan, and whenever I hear Black Smoke Rising, I think of him. It's the perfect Dustin song.

Favorite picture of them

I couldn't find quite what I was looking for, because Netflix doesn't allow screenshots, but this moment I think it pretty close! (Although "most metal ever" is probably the exact moment I was looking for--that whole sequence just made me go 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼)

Thanks again for this ask, Feeny dear! I really, really enjoyed breaking down Dustin and revisiting ST (it's time for a rewatch!!).

Character Asks are still open 🥰

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Rating: G

Word Count: 1.6k

Fake dating, love at first sight, and all that. The basic fluff palate.

A/N: I had no idea what the lyrics to "Hello Stranger" by Stray Kids were until after I wrote the fic, but the title and vibe made me daydream this whole idea up in the car. You're welcome. (Totally would recommend the official MV too, it just doesn't have English subs)

Another day, another heckling. And this time it had to be on a public subway, apparently.

"All I'm saying is, if you're so rich, why do you have to conveniently forget your credit card every single time we all go out for lunch?" Edward narrowed his eyes at Ling.

"Why bring it when I don't expect to be going out to eat?" Ling said airily. "And you're always so generous when it happens unexpectedly."

Edward grunted. "That's an absolute load of bull and you know it. You can't say that you 'just forgot' to bring money because you 'didn't expect it' when I text the group chat 'Who wants to go out for lunch tomorrow?' and you say 'Ooh! Ooh! Me!'" he squealed in a poor imitation of his friend.

"Your girlfriend would love you for it, you know—paying for dates," Ling continued, ignoring Ed's accusations. He gasped. "Oh, that's right! You don't have a girlfriend! Perhaps if you weren't so quarrelsome, you could manage to win the heart of a lady."

"Who are you calling so puny that he's gonna die alone and have weeds all over his grave that no one will bother to pull?" Ed screeched.

Russell finally spoke up from his seat at the end of the row. "Ed, he didn't say anything about your height. He may be a cheapskate, but he didn't make a dig at your height. For once."

"Yeah, that's right! No fair changing the subject, Ling. This discussion was about how you're a little rich boy who always makes his friends pay for his own food," Ed huffed.

"Why quibble over such a minor expense? How expensive could a burger be? Twenty dollars?" The other two boys gaped at Ling, but he only kept going. "Besides, I'm far more interested in the current topic. Edward, you know I care for you deeply—"

"Fat chance."

"—but with your disposition, I doubt you could get a girlfriend if you tried!"

"Now, you wait just a second! You don't know squat about my love life! In fact, I could—"

Out of nowhere, a blonde girl knelt on the seat next to Ed's and slipped an arm around his shoulders.

"Hello, stranger." She winked. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming this way today? I know you're shy about our relationship, but you could have just told them, you know. You don't have to give into their teasing just for me, Eddie-boo."

All three boys gawked at her—Russell and Ling because of the fact that Ed actually had a girlfriend and Ed because of the fact that he didn't. Except now he had to pretend that this strange, hot blonde girl was his girlfriend.

So he choked. Then he recovered just enough to say, "Babe, no. I was just about to tell them. These pea-brains," he glared at them, "barely let me get a word in edgewise. Please believe me, babe."

"Of course I believe you, pretty boy." Her gaze made all coherent thoughts fly from his head. "But even if they are pea-brains, I should probably introduce myself." She tapped his nose. The buzzing feeling lingered long after the tip of her finger left it. "I'm Winry." She beamed at the other two boys. Ed's stomach twisted. He wasn't jealous, was he? He probably just ate something bad at lunch. Maybe Ling slipped something in his burger…

Ling grinned wickedly. "Lovely to meet you, Winry. How did you two meet? It must have been quite a job getting this one to agree to go out with you, what with his charming personality and all."

"Hm, how did we meet, babe? It all happened very gradually—knowing each other's faces, then knowing each other's names, then small talk here and there. Then before you know it, we were having deeper conversations as close friends, and then suddenly, we were dating! He's a real softie once you get him to open up," she said, ruffling his bangs.

"Winry!" He cleared his throat. "Babe, you don't have to tell them everything."

"Oh, man!" Russell guffawed, wiping away a tear. "This girl must have you whipped, Ed."

"Something like that," Ed muttered.

Suddenly, the train lurched and threw Winry forward, her arm around Ed's shoulders directing her course straight for his lap. They stared at each other in panic for a few moments. Then Winry laughed nervously. "Looks like I fell for you, huh, babe?"

Edward slapped his forehead. "Really? Fell for me? That's so terrible, I might break up with you just for that."

"Nah, you like me too much," Winry said, planting a kiss on his forehead.

Edward's face turned a violent shade of red. Pretty girl. Flirting. At him. Dream. It was a dream. Dreams don't have lips with that much detail. Can't look at friends. They'll laugh. Different topic. Periodic table. Periodic tables are simple. Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium…

"Like I said," Russell smirked. "Whipped."

The subway car lurched again as the intercom announced their arrival at the stop, and Ed's arms flew to keep Winry from being thrown again. Just as quickly as he had held her close, he loosened his grip. For a moment, her eyes widened and a faint blush rose on her cheeks. She shifted on his lap.

"This is my stop. Nice meeting you guys!" Winry leaned in to whisper into Ed's ear. "I probably caused you more trouble than I solved. I'm so sorry." She offered him a half smile and slid off his lap.

His legs somehow felt bare without her weight, his arms cold without her warmth. How could he just let her walk away? But how could he just stalk a stranger? Fortunately, all intelligent thought had left him long ago.

"See you guys later! Better priorities have come up than messing around with you losers!"

Edward heard silence, then laughter behind him, but he kept his eyes forward as he followed Winry out into the station. Crap, what had he gotten himself into? He was such an idiot. His idiot mouth and his idiot legs had been faster than his idiot brain and he was about to be in big, big trouble with this really beautiful, really nice stranger. The doors closed behind them.

"Look, I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what got into me. I don't know why I went along with it. I don't just do this sort of thing, it just happened. If there's—" Winry cut Ed off.

"You went along with it because I started it. What were you supposed to do? If anything, it's my fault for putting you in an awkward position. It was gutsy and presumptuous and I should have just let your conversation happen. I don't exactly go around pretending to be random people's girlfriends either. Some weird gut reaction in me just...did it. I...I don't even know what to say for myself. I made you lie to your friends and now you're going to have to tell them that and...I'm. I'm so sorry." She raked her hand into her ponytail and avoided his gaze.

"Can we consider ourselves forgiven, then?"

She met his eyes with a slight laugh. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Good, so...um…are you actually single?" He sighed and mumbled, "man, I don't normally do this," and continued, "Because I'd love to take you out for real if you are." His pulse thundered through every blood vessel in his body while she opened and closed her mouth and blushed. It would be cute if his entire being wasn't vibrating waiting for her response.

"Y–yeah," she breathed.

"Gah," Ed rubbed the back of his neck. "Of course you're not single, why would you be? I mean, look at you—"

"No! No. I'm. I'm not single. I mean! I'm not in a—I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh."

"I'd...I'd love to go out with you, Edward."

"Wow," he finally managed.

"What?" Winry smiled at him in confusion.

"I really scored big today and I don't even know how." He grinned crookedly. "Was something about my complete lack of competent speech attractive or something? Nobody just agrees to going on a date with a complete stranger. Your name is actually Winry, right?"

She laughed. "Yes, my name is actually Winry. I didn't really have a lot of time to come up with a fake name or anything. As for going out with a complete stranger… I don't know. I just know I can trust you. I figure, why not go for it? And, um. I wasn't entirely joking when I called you 'pretty boy.'" She bit her lip and smiled at her shoes.

Ed's mind blanked for what seemed the billionth time that day. "You're the—you're the pretty one!" he squawked.

"Well, then...if I'm the pretty one, can I be the one to ask you for your number?"

"What?" He wasn't sure whether he'd been shaken out of his mental fog or pushed further into it. "I mean, yes! Um, here it is." He fumbled with his phone and showed her his contact information.

"Thanks." She smiled with all the light the universe could give her. "I'll...see you soon then?"

"Are you busy right now?" Ed blurted out. "Or is taking you out to dinner too soon?"

"Oh! No, not at all. I'm kind of craving Chinese takeout, actually, if that's okay."

"Yeah. Yeah, it's totally okay. Just. One thing." Winry raised her eyebrows in accession. "Never call me 'Eddie-boo' again."

[l1ana]

Dating Peter Parker while being Eddies' younger sister would include...

Dedicated to @gaynessnyoom for giving me this idea tysm bb

———

You had moved in with Eddie, claiming that you needed a place to crash at for some time

Which was odd since you were in college

Whatever, Eddie loved you with his entire being. Obviously, he let you in without hesitation

To be quite frank, he was getting tired of being alone accompanied with a blood hungy parasite every day

You staying at his place clearly made days much more brighter

You both loved exchanging stories about one another during your time apart and laughed it up

When Venom came into the picture, things didn't really change much besides you and him having constant arguments on which sort of sweets were better

Venom made an oath at the moment he saw you to protect you from whatever harm may come your way with the same amount of force that he protects Eddie with

They both loved you like a daughter — In spite of Eddie being your older brother

Your pictures of different monuments and various attractions served as good fuel for his career

Photography was your more proficient skill

One day while you were walking around the city, snapping a few pics, you saw it— Or rather, him

Spider-man, the hero of Queens

Lounging in an alleyway, sat in a hammock made of spiderwebs with a pair of headphones on

His red and blue color pallet immediately caught your eyes and you took a picture with no second thoughts

While you were fawning over catching a picture of someone so famous, the camera flash had caused the spandex-attired male to turn in your direction

Oh dear how he felt his heartbeat speed up three times than usual

Good lord you were a goddess in his eyes

He was stammering and tripping over his own words, unable to get anything out

There goes his spiderman charm

“So you're the real deal, huh?” You asked, stepping into the alleyway while looking up at him

“M-mhm, yup. In the flesh— whoa!” He stood up in his hammock but immediately lost balance, slipping and falling into the dumpster besides you. His head popped up from the pile of garbage bags

“More like in the spandex...” A gag came from your lips. “...And rotten foods.” You giggled, plucking a half-eaten banana from off his head

‘Im in love’ He thought then and there

From that point on, a beautiful relationship formed between you and Spiderman, the both of you meeting up in secluded areas of the city and exchanging joyous words every day

The time you and his geeky self -aka Peter Parker- met up was when you and Eddie paid a visit to the Bugle, in search for some juicy news to cover and report on

Peter had intentionally bumped into you in hopes to start up any sort of small talk. It was then that he found out that you wanted to dig deeper into Spidermans background and find out more about him

He promised to take you out, claiming that he had some “interesting spots that Spiderman likes to hang out at”

Of course, you took his words and set off with him

Eddie and Venom were definitely cautious of Peter

‘We should bite his head off.’ “Venom, no.” ‘What if he takes advantage of her?’ “He seems like a nice guy. Besides, [Name] can take care of herself.” ‘He's checking her out, Eddie.’ “...” ‘Exactly.’

Eddie sighed, speaking up to call your name. “Hey, uh, [Name],” You whipped your head around, grabbing Peters hand to stop him from walking off without you. “Yeah? What's up?” Eddie sighed again, probably anticipating you to feel offense to what he said: “I know that you're, uh, grown and all but... Y'know, be safe out there. Don't wander into the unknown, kay?” But instead you laughed at him in the most innocent way possible. “Don't worry, don't worry. I can stand my own.” And smiled so brightly it made his worries wash away.

And just like that, you were gone

‘We should follow them’ “Can you not? I'd like to respect her privacy as a grown woman, thank you very much.”

Sightseeing new places was definetly checked off of your bucket list

Peter practically dragged you everywhere he found to be a great site for dates

Yes, he was trying to find a way to turn this into a date

And yes, he was worried on whether you'd catch on to it or not

Most of the places he went to, he was commonly known in

“Hey Peter, who's the lucky girl?”

Que the blushing nerd

“She's, uh, new in town. I'm just taking her to some places Spiderman likes to stop by to. A-also, we're just aqquantices.”

“Haha, yeah. Well try not to confuse where the line ends at, okay?”

You and him were pretty much already talked about to be a couple

It was extremely embarassing for Peter, whilst you displayed no problem with what they were saying

Soon enough, you earned a spot in the Bugle as a worker, right in the same position as Peter

“[Name]? Wh-what are you-” “Guess who found a new job?~” He swore his heartbeat could be heard from miles away

You and Peter poking fun at one another

When he first grew the balls and finally asked you on a date, your affirmation had him absolutely ecstatic

Him taking you to one of the places he told you that his alter-ego liked to hang out at, which to say was spotted at a high-up place where you could see the city sparkle beautifully

“D-dude... This is awesome...!” “Not as awesome as you.” Peter would whisper under his breath, to which you'd clocked your head round and ask him to repeat what he said. “Nothing.” He replied with a sweat

A devious grin grew on your face. “Peeeeeettteeerr~” You sang. At that moment, the brunet knew he was screwed. “You like me don't you?”

Welp

Time to jump off the building and hopefully land into another dumpster ans roll away never to be seen again

“I-I-I mean, well, I guess if you mean by having a strong sense of attraction towards you then... M-maybe I...” “Awww, you totally do~” You have him a quick peck on the lips, then ruffling his hair. “Well, I like you more so don't start thinking that I don't!” Poor boy fainted on the spot

Eddie and Venom getting a tad bit worried of you whenever you claimed you were going out late at night

‘Where is she going?’ “To mind her own business, much like you should be doing.”

Most of the time when you did do so, you'd be skipping to Peters apartment

q̶u̶i̶c̶k̶ r̶e̶m̶i̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶ a̶n̶d̶ p̶e̶t̶e̶ a̶r̶e̶ a̶d̶u̶l̶t̶s̶, l̶i̶k̶e̶ i̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ 1̶9̶s̶

Whenever Eddie heard you enter the apartment at such a late time at night, he'd just start fearing that you would walk right back out

He loved you so much and really didn't want to see you leave his life again

The concern on his face when he'd found out you brought your own appartment room had mortified you

“You're honestly... Gonna go?”

“Oh chill out Ed. I'm just down the street, okay? Nothing bad is gonna happen to your little sister so quit whining.” You'd reassure with a light kiss on his forehead. “You too, Venom. I know you're worried about me and as flattering as that is I'd appreciate it if you saw me capable to take care of myself, thanks.”

Of course, you paid visits to them every now and then just so that neither would get this feeling of loneliness again

Peter helped spruce up your apartment room with some of his own decor

“You sure this okay?” “Of course, I've always wanted a part of me inside you—” He mentally slapped himself to stop something he knew was inevitable. “I-I-I mean, like, I uh.... I...”

Quick and steamy makeout sessions to stop his stammering

Very gentle™ when having sex

Like, neither of you are virgins and are aware of what goes on during intercourse but still

Also, he made sure to put a condom on so dw

Remember kids: You can't make love without a glove

Don't be a fool, cover your tool

Don't be silly and wrap your willy-

You loved running your fingers into his hair w̶h̶i̶l̶e̶ h̶e̶ r̶e̶a̶r̶r̶a̶n̶g̶e̶d̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ i̶n̶s̶i̶d̶e̶s̶ w̶i̶t̶h̶ h̶i̶s̶ d̶i̶c̶k̶ because of how soft and curly they were

Apparently he was sensitive to you tugging his hair cuz the moment you did he was melting into your body

G̶u̶e̶s̶s̶ w̶h̶o̶ f̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ a̶ w̶a̶y̶ t̶o̶ t̶u̶r̶n̶ P̶e̶t̶e̶r̶ P̶a̶r̶k̶e̶r̶ i̶n̶t̶o̶ a̶ s̶u̶b̶?

Eddie would drop by your job sometimes just to check in on you, and would usually catch you in mid-talk with Peter

‘Is this the guy she's been going out late at night with?' “Can you at least try to be supportive of her decisions?” ‘You're worried for her... WE'RE worried for her.’

He always came in unnoticed and left unnoticed, much to his relief because he didn't want to seem like a stalker in your eyes

When you finally decided to let both Eddie and Venom into your house, they had devoured a quarter of your food that was meant to be for Peter for tomorrows dinner

Not like you told him that you and Peter were a thing

“We're sorry for eating all your food...” “It's okay. I understand. We all get hungry sometimes.”

Later that same night after Peter dropped by, you both setteled for pizza with a side of takeout

“So do I wanna know about the how, where and why a majority of your food is gone?”

“No,” You took a bite of your pizza “No you do not.”

Romcoms were tonights theme

“Do you think we'll ever be like those guys on TV?” “Peter, we're even better than them.”

Smothering him in smooches whenever he's feeling down

Lots of snuggles

Always coming through the fire escape part of his apartment and greeting him from there

Too bad big brother Venom and Eddie were stalking you

“When were you going to tell us about your male companion?” A familiar voice asked as you unlocked your apartment door and walked in, the lights clicking on

Oh fuck

Okay I've reached the limit, time to make a part 2

[saintjane]

"The Six Wives" by a couple of mentally exhausted high school kids with horrid senses of humour

Henry: I NEED the two s’s in life: sex and sons

Catherine: HARK - arthur died and i’m a little caesar’s pizza

H: wanna fuck???

C: *subtle nodding*

*still births and miscarriages*

Squire: IT’S A BOY-

H: ah heck yEAH

S: Wait nevermind it’s dead. IT’S A G-no dead. ANOTHER BO-another death, dang okay

C: hey i’m pregnant again

H: will it work this time?

C: *gives birth to daughter Mary* We’ll name her Mary

H: It didn’t work smh

Anne 1: *sultry-model walk-by with a flirty lil wink* aye bb you know you want this

H: *wolf whistles* you heckin bet i do

C: *awkwardly raises hand to slap him but then remembers you can’t hit a king & deep breath*

A1: sorry henny. i will only hop on that dick if it makes me queen, otherwise imma just lead you on

H: in that case, imma hit up ma main man the pope

H: Yo, popey, my wife is broken. Please fix her. The bible says I shouldn’t have married her ‘cause she did the dirty with my bro. I want sons that don’t die. Send help

Pope: your bro has to be alive, dinkis. And your wife is, like, related to the totally not German emperor cause Germany isn’t a thing yet lol, soooooo I’m not gonna cross her. You also told me they didn’t do the dirty you fracken liar. Find a better waste of my time you fukin weeaboo. P.S. what kind of loser looks for really obscure bible verses? Get a life, ginger

H: But what if I give you money?

P: Then I’ll have money and you’ll still have a wife. are u dense????

H: what am I going to do?

A1: here, read this

H: what is it?

A1: 95 Reasons Why Fuck The Church by Martin Luther

H: this is solid. hey popey screw you i’ll create my own church

P: You can’t do that

H: Watch me. *walks to catherine and hands her a paper* it’s not me, it’s you. you’re broken. enjoy a musty dusty crusty castle and don’t ever try to talk to your daughter

C: *runs out hiding her face*

H: hey Anne wanna fuck

A1: heckin yeah

A1: *births elizabeth*

H: *unamused* what is this

A1: a daughter

H: well you definitely had it because of incest and adultery and not at all because i’m in love with Jayne Seymour

H: I King Henry VIII order Anne Boleyn to be executed on the date of May 19th and on Tower Hill. An expert swordsman from Calais will be coming in to do the execution. He slices and dices heads like its nothing.

*leaves to go hunting anne walks on stage gets on knees before executioner*

Executioner: any last words, cause imma slice you up anyway

A1: the king is a total 10/10. everyone should fuck him. very fair and kind lover. also, it’s a good thing I have a long ass neck because then i know for a damn fact you won't botch this

E: cool *slices off head*

H: *pops up out of thin air* She dead yet?

E: Totes

H: hey Jayne wanna fuck

Jayne: *shrugs* why not

J: *births Edward*

J: I give to thee a son

H: good lord finally someone who isn’t broken

J: *dies*

H: *laying on the floor in a ball rocking* oh,,, ok

H: I need a rebound

Squire: *holds up painting* how bout this hottie?

H: yeah sure

Anne 2: sup

H: ehhhhhhhhhhhhh wanna fuck or whatever

A2: I mean yeah we’re supposed to

H: idk i’m just not in the mood though tbh

Kathryn: *exists and breathes near the king*

H: oh dang

A2: k, i’ll just leave since we didn’t do the dirty and I’m pretty sure I never broke up with my last hubby

H: k, imma just call you “King’s Sister” ‘cause that’s not weird at all

A2: k cool bye

K1: hey

H: wanna fuck

K1: that’s kinda forward but yeah ok. Can i fuck everyone else too

H: no, that's my thing

K1: sucks *winks*

H: I don’t get it

K1: oh you will just not from me

H: wait a diddly darn minute *dramatic pause*

H: I think she’s cheating on me

S: Noooo. You don’t say

H: somebody Anne Boleyn her

E: you rang?

H: I, still King Henry VIII, once again sentence my wife to death cause this one is a jerk, guys. Okay? She just *sighs* she just isn’t loyal. These girls ain’t loyal. So kill her. Please.

E: any last words? The last girl was uber lame

K1: sorry he just couldn’t get it up and sex was so boring. 3/10. couldn’t do it anymore. I have needs and they have to be met, you know?

E: understandable. have a nice day *sword goes ching*

E: lmao. I love this job

H: now what?

Katherine: Hey big boy

H: flustered oh dang

K: my hubby died and I can’t marry your dead wife’s brother soooo, wanna fuck?

H: oh cool

K: btw, I’m named after your first wife. I’m basically an infant but let’s not talk about that

H: Whatevs

K: I find your reformation of the church mildly attractive

H: thanks I guess

K: so ummm, when are you gonna die?

H: Right now *drops dead*

K: Yay I’m free to marry that Thomas guy. Btw, do you want help with your whole regency thing Eddie?

Edward: get out don’t call me eddie, you swine

Mary: what about me?

E: no

M: Yes

E: ok. *dies*

M: yay, now to undo my father’s work *kills protestants with fire*

Elizabeth: can I be queen when you die?

M: no

E: please

M: no

E: fine, jerk

M: imma die now, just don’t let my sister become queen *dies*

E: ha ha. Get wrecked cunt. imma redo my father’s work and never marry cause guys are dumb and also HA looks like i'm getting the last huzzah enjoy your tomb in the protestant church bitch. soon i'll be buried on top on you maybe you should have played dolls with me more when we were children lololol

THE END

[proofthatihaveaheart]

I'm gonna send a lot :) :DC, Marvel, Borderlands, Gayperion, Carol Danvers

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my (DC):

Favorite character: i have a lot of characters i really love in dc but no one really jumps out as my top favorite above all others…. i’m going to say selina because i love her in a lot of media and i picked up the current batman comic to read about her specifically (and then dropped them when she left lol, i’l have to pick up her solo series sometime too) 

Least Favorite character: hmmm………..i don’t know……….can i say jervis from gotham specifically? he makes my skin crawl in a very bad way and i kinda want to punch him in the face. although he also has his charming moments and i think his power-set makes for a very interesting villain hmmm. OH can i say all the various Big and Boring Cosmic Villains like Steppenwolf??? they all blur together and i just don’t care about any of them

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): selina/bruce, harley/pamela, oswald/ed, raven/beast boy, diana/steve

Character I find most attractive: diana aka wonder woman aka have my heart

Character I would marry: as much as i want to say diana, i feel like i would constantly be overwhelmed with awe around her so maybe that’s not a good idea………. can i marry bruce for his money?

Character I would be best friends with: if she wasn’t evil, pamela, she could be one of my fellow grad students (y’know, in another life). i would hang with steph too, she’s cool 

A random thought: dc was my first superhero love, teen titans specifically, and that show probably laid the groundwork for what i want in my superhero teams. also i should get back to reading dc comics

An unpopular opinion: i don’t think this is unpopular exactly but the joker is overused, there are so many other good batman villains 

My canon OTP: bruce/selina (GIVE ME THEIR WEDDING YOU COWARDS)

Non-canon OTP: harley/pamela except it’s canon in some verses if i remember correctly sooooooooooooooooo :) 

Most badass character: i want to say diana……..and i can’t think of anyone more badass so

Pairing I am not a fan of: clark/diana is just Bad, what were they thinking?

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): it’s comics, who hasn’t been screwed up by a writer at some point? ok but jokes aside, no one specific is coming to mind right now

Favourite friendship: i love all the batfam so *points at all of them* 

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my (Marvel):

Favorite character: i don’t know how you could possibly expect me to choose a single character when there are so many………….. carol at the moment, kamala and mj and peter (parker, not quill) in general are at the top of the list too

Least Favorite character: ……………….there’s probably someone i hate…… but no one is coming to mind…… i guess thanos? i can’t believe he got a solo series 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): the spidey ot4 (peter/harry/gwen/mj), steve/tony, carol/jessica, carol/maria, clint/natasha

Character I find most attractive: ooooooooo, a good question. i think i’ll go with carol because brie larson is

Character I would marry: if it had to be a superhero, janet. if not, gwen and we would run away together and never get involved with the angst of superheroes

Character I would be best friends with: maybe cindy moon (she likes pokemon! and is just a lovely person!) or gwen 

A random thought: in the avengers tower that absolutely exists and that they all live in (at least part of the time), tony builds additional rooms for all the new members. he puts glowing stars up in carol’s room and calls her space-face and laughs when she chooses star wars for movie night because of course that’s what you pick, danvers    

An unpopular opinion: spider-man h*mecoming is bad and it isn’t a comics-accurate adaptation of spider-man, let alone the most accurate

My canon OTP: any of the canon ships within the ot4 - but if i had to choose just one, it’d be peter/mj. all the good comics history

Non-canon OTP: THE SPIDEY OT4, MY ULTIMATE MARVEL SHIP

Most badass character: CAROL ‘SORRY I’M A BADASS’ DANVERS

Pairing I am not a fan of: sp*deypool is the ultimate notp. i don’t get why it has such a massive following

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): see my above point about comics (though the other thing about comics is that once there’s a switch in writers, it often resolves itself). currently, i feel this way about peter (although i’m behind so maybe spencer’s undid all the slott nonsense) + eddie and the symbiote (not so much their individual characters but the relationship between them)

Favourite friendship: steve and carol and tony currrently

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my (Borderlands):

Favorite character: lilith or fiona

Least Favorite character: i love them all but salvador is….. well i just don’t have as much of a connection to him (sorry sal) 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): lilith/roland, brick/mordecai, fiona/rhys, rhys/vaughn, athena/janey

Character I find most attractive: lilith. also amara who may outcompete lilith, we shall see

Character I would marry: would i marry any of them?? (the answer is no but i guess if i had to, maybe janey? at the very least, she could repair any problems in our house)

Character I would be best friends with: janey possibly

A random thought: each set of vault hunters is a weird dysfunctional family and nothing can convince me otherwise (i will be sorely disappointed if the bl2 gang aren’t close in bl3)

An unpopular opinion: there’s more to borderlands than handsome jack and i wish fandom would focus on some of the other characters more 

My canon OTP: lilith/roland or athena/janey

Non-canon OTP: rhys/vaughn just edges out fiona/rhys

Most badass character: zer0

Pairing I am not a fan of: rhys/handsome jack

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): no one really except where they killed roland and it was sad

Favourite friendship: i love timothy and athena as friends 

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you (gayperion):

when or if I started shipping it: i think it was sometime during episode 1???? i can’t remember a specific moment, it just kinda happened

my thoughts: they’re very good and it would be even more amazing for them to date now. can you imagine the ceo of atlas with the scruffy leader of a bandit gang (who also happens to be a math nerd)? SO GOOD 

What makes me happy about them: they’re best friends, they have a lot of stupid jokes between them, they very clearly would go to the end of the earth for each other

What makes me sad about them: the fear that they may never interact in bl3

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: there isn’t enough fic for me to have noticed any annoying tropes

Things I look for in fanfic: any fic in general

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: rhys/fiona

My happily ever after for them: they haven’t spoken for a while but vaughn comes along on sanctuary (idk how he ends up there, maybe he’s upset with his bandits leaving for the children of the vault) and then he hears rhys’ voice over the comm for the first time in YEARS, he could cry, he’s so happy. anyway us vault hunters help rhys out with his maliwan problem, vaughn and rhys reunite, there are tears and hugs and then they kiss and have to figure out what they want (hint: they want to be together forever but rhys has a company and vaughn has his bandits and they need to navigate that complexity - but they do and it’s awesome)

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you (carol danvers):

How I feel about this character: if you told me last year that i would fall in love with carol, and read everything i could with her, i probably would not have believed you. but here i am, almost caught up with the captain marvel comics and helplessly in love with her. i love her bravery, her humor, her impulsiveness, her kindness, her fight-me attitude, her determination, her cockiness - really i love everything about her and i’m inspired by her drive to be better and to protect as many people as she can (also the whole speech but especially this quote at the end of captain marvel (2012) #1: and we will be the stars we were always meant to be GETS me every time i see it, i love ambitious ladies who reach for the stars)

All the people I ship romantically with this character: carol/jess is the ultimate 616 otp while carol/maria is the ultimate mcu otp. i also like carol/rhodey and i read a ship manifesto for carol/wanda that has made me interested in learning more about them

My non-romantic OTP for this character: steve and tony, i can’t choose between her two relationships with them because they’re both so good (it might be tony??? he helped her through aa and i love their snark? but then steve and carol are also very good). also in the mcu, nick fury, their chemistry is GOLD 

My unpopular opinion about this character: i hate that so many people have started putting carol into the role of peter’s mom/aunt, not every adult that interacts with him is automatically his parental figure and she has no real reason to feel that way towards him. also they went on a couple dates in the comics and even though i don’t ship it, it’s weird to think about

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: LET HER DATE A WOMAN

My OTP: …………how could i possibly choose between carol/jess and carol/maria………….they’re both so good in different ways

My OT3: i don’t have one for her although now i’m considering whether a jess/carol/maria situation would work idk i feel like it wouldn’t just because there would be this imbalance in two of them having superpowers and maria unable to join in their superhero battles so??? idk. i need to think about it a little more