#and I almost made it to the 13th without crying

[coffindancer]

1 2 hit

[i2sunric]

I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE part 2 (s.jy)

pairing: rich boy!jake x reader (f)

summary: after jake’s betrayal, you tried try pick up the pieces of your broken heart by replacing him with heeseung, even if they never truly fitted back together— not until your realised jake’s heart was in worse shape.

warnings: sexual tension, angst, hurt/comfort, making out, kissing, smut (blowjob, missionary, doggy, riding, creampie, hair pulling, chocking), unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!) fighting, alcohol consumption, usage of weed, curse words, pet names (baby, ma cherie), hyung line (minus jake) are actually a conspiracy for jakeyn. Imk if more. PROOFREAD → READ PART 1

published: 13th May 2024

wc: 6.8k

taglist: (permanent) @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @heelvsted @jwnghyuns @seunghancore (one shot) @anittamaxwynn @jvjsssnaa @slut4hee @kgneptun @nyxtwixx @laurradoesloveu @star4rin @capri-cuntz @eneyiri @samouryed @heyniki @ineedsomezzz @nanamomgmong @aishigrey @naurrjakeu @ak-aaa-li @sjakewrld @nikiswifiee @koralira-kira @daisycottage @yunhoswrldddd @smisworld @cloud-lyy @avaleyshin @soobinbunnie5 @ikeulims @tuituibzhe @starggukies @icywinter1999 [BOLDS COULD NOT BE TAGGED]

a/n: aight this actually turned out longer than i intended and did i really write smut while listening to windows down by big time rush? yes. having a keylock doesn’t mean you’re poor btw (i also have a keylock). please REBLOG & LIKE to share! also lmk your thoughts by commenting 🎀 tysm for loving this fic!

You stared yet again at the reflection in front of you. Tear stains had ruined your makeup, your mascara that claimed to be waterproof was now coating your cheeks until your chin.

You gripped the sink in anger, your knuckles turning white at the force.

A lot of curse words flashed in your mind, but none were strong enough to represent your current state.

How could you be so oblivious? You thought Jake and you had something, something that went beyond just two people who met at a frat party.

You felt it, inside your heart, the way it tickled every time you heard his sweet chuckle leave his lips, seeming like the only light in the darkness of life.

You took a deep breath, trying to gather all the shattered pieces of your heart, laying open there. If that was how it hurt, you sure as hell weren’t going to give anyone else the key to access to it.

“What’s a pretty girl crying in the bathroom for?” A voice snapped you out of your trance. You raised your face and met a pair of known, dark eyes.

“Heeseung.” You breathed out, not even bothering to turn around. That moment almost felt like a deja vù, probably because that same bathroom was where your lips first met Jake’s.

Trying to block out all the memories of that Australian man, you turned around and leaned back on the countertop.

“Glad you still remember my name.” He said, licking his bottom lip, “Found out your prince charming wasn’t as innocent as you thought?”

You frowned at his words “How’d you know?” And Heeseung just chuckled bitterly in response “I invited you to my party in hope of having you for myself.”

His eyes roamed all over your body “Just to find out you were at it with my best friend.” You rolled your eyes. “We just made out, nothing more.”

If you thought Jake was bold, Heeseung was shameless. He was looking at you like you were a gazelle in the lion’s den, eyes scanning your body, probably imagining you without clothes.

“Well, he’s busy now.” You turned around and looked at yourself in the mirror, trying to clean the mascara stains on your face.

“With Karina?” Heeseung nodded at himself, “She was there before you.”

You turned around again, a deeply offended expression painting your features “Excuse me?”

Heeseung smirked, cleaning your cheeks with his own thumbs “You really thought Sim Jake would fall in love with a mediocre girl?” He cooed “Aw, poor you. Jake had always been greedy, he would never settle for someone who isn’t from his own neighbourhood.”

“And why are you telling me this?” You asked warily, not fully believing the words leaving his mouth. You wanted to stay with your impression of the kind and playful Jake. Not the player, not the heartbreaker.

“Because he isn’t worth your tears, pretty.” Heeseung’s voice was husky and hoarse, you couldn’t almost understand his words “But I am, when I’ll fuck you so hard.”

You pushed his chest away, “Disgusting.” But Heeseung only laughed in response, “I was kidding.”

You rolled your eyes and stepped aside of him “I’m going home.” You were almost out of the door when his big hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush on his chest.

“Or, I have a better idea.” You raised a brow. “You don’t look like someone who has nice ideas.”

“Just trust me.” He wiggled his brows “I know you’re known for seducing and then leaving.”

You scowled “If that’s my reputation on your side of the town.” His fingers trailed your arm until they reached your shoulder, caressing the bare skin “In my opinion, that’s hot.”

“I don’t remember asking.” You sighed, having heard his flattering already when he was courting you, a couple of weeks before.

“I’m saying, we go downstairs.” Heeseung bit his bottom lip, playing with the strap of your dress. “And we get a taste of each other, just let your mind drift off.” He said, lowering down to whisper in your ear.

You honestly weren’t in the mood to make out with someone, let alone be in a room full of teenagers drunk off their tits— But what could you do better to fix your broken heart?

“I hope you improved your kissing skills.”

𓆩♡𓆪

If stares could kill, then the ones Jake was giving you as you basically straddled Heeseung in the middle of his living room got you dead a few minutes before.

Your lips were attached, rarely pulling away, just enough to catch your breath while his hands were wrapped around your waist, holding you in place on his laps.

Jake was still with that pretty woman whose name you learnt was Karina. And in fact, she was deadly gorgeous, you almost didn’t blame Jake for leaving you for her. But you were Y/N, nobody should’ve dared to play with your heart that same cruel way Jake did.

“You don’t mind making out with me in front of him?” You asked on Heeseung’s lips, licking his bottom one “Nah,” He cupped the back of your neck, pulling you closer “You weren’t a thing anyways, were you?”

Your heart stopped at his words, because in fact, you and Jake weren’t anything. You had never been, it was foolish of you to even hope for it.

“No, we weren’t.” You replied in a whisper, “Perfect.” Heeseung resumed kissing you, more roughly this time.

Jake needed something stronger than the mild cup of beer in his hand to forget your presence in the room. Smashing his head on the wall seemed like a good option since not only did you attend the party but were also making out with his best friend.

He called it on himself, he knew nothing good would come with playing with you, but he couldn’t erase all that he had done.

Trying to cancel the image of Heeseung with his hands all over you, he turned to the side to give his attention to the raven haired girl beside him “So, when’s your brother coming home from Paris again?”

Karina smiled at the mention “Sunghoon is coming back in two days!” She informed him, “He also wanted to invite you guys over.”

Jake beamed back at his other best friend’s older sister and nodded “That sounds good, I haven’t seen him in one month or so.”

Karina rolled her eyes “Yeah, I came back as soon as work finished but he claimed he wanted to ‘sightsee’ the city before returning here.”

He smiled “Living his best life, I see.” He patted her shoulder, the touch on her exposed skin only made him remember how your body felt when it was wrapped around his, kissing you all over.

He hoped he could have done more, to be with you longer so that he would have experienced having you laid down beneath him, in your whole essence and beauty. He wished he had a chance to do that— But the universe wasn’t on his side.

You hadn’t realised how much fun those rich kids could have. You thought they talked about horses and lake cottages in their free time but they actually were so much more than that!

Or maybe it was whatever Heeseung made you smoke that was altering your thoughts.

You were currently sitting on his laps, your back pressed against his chest as you took a drag out of the joint between your fingers.

You giggled at something one of Heeseung’s friends said, you weren't even sure why you were laughing but it sounded fun.

Heeseung caressed your back, trailing circles on your shoulder as he took a drag from his own joint “Having fun, Y/N?” He asked and you nodded “Much.”

“Mhmh, I bet you are.” He smirked, “First time smoking weed?”

You nodded again “Jake said I looked like I did it daily,” You chuckled “But I never tried.”

“Did he?” He whispered, getting close to your neck, leaving kitten licks “You talk a lot about him.”

“No.” You frowned “I don’t.” Heeseung chuckled and started sucking on your sensitive skin, making you let out a moan.

His big hand went to cover your mouth as he worked on your neck, sucking and biting enough to leave a hickey “You talked about him the whole night, haven't you even realised?”

You widened your eyes at his statement. No, you hadn’t realised, but when his name rolled out of your tongue it just sounded so right.

You just shook your head, unable to reply verbally since his hand was on your lips.

You closed your eyes, trying to block out any thought at the feeling of Heeseung’s lips on your neck and the weed clouding your mind.

“Are you mad?” A strict voice suddenly snapped you out of your state of trance as you felt yourself being ripped away from Heeseung’s grasp.

You opened your eyes just to find a very rather and deeply angry Jake standing in front of you, if he was in a cartoon you’d see his veins pulsing on his forehead.

“He’s Jake!” You exclaimed happily to Heeseung, the effect of the amount of alcohol you drank and the intoxication from weed made you act hyper “I know.” Heeseung replied calmly.

Jake pulled you behind his back “What were you thinking? Making her smoke this shit?”

You frowned “It’s good—“ But Heeseung cut you “Relax man, we were just having fun.”

“This is not having fun.” He took the joint from your hand and threw it to Heeseung “Don’t get her into your addictions.”

Heeseung raised a brow, his expression remaining stoic “She was willing.” Jake snapped back “She’s drunk!”

He took a deep breath and pointed a threatening finger toward Heeseung “Do not pull this ever again.” He stated before taking your hand in his and dragging you out of the party.

Meanwhile, Heeseung smirked as he saw the two of you walk away; Maybe that was when his best friend would finally wake up and realise all the things he was losing.

𓆩♡𓆪

“Hey!” You exclaimed, trying to pull away from his iron grip “Yunjin is still inside.” Jake let out a small groan “I’ll drive her home later.”

You pulled hard on his hand, making him stop right in front of his crimson car “Let me go.”

Jake’s eyes were full of rage, you were almost scared at their intensity “Are you angry?”

“Yes.” He stated, voice serious “At me?” You asked, your voice was so soft and quiet it made his heart jump out of his ribcage “No, not at you.”

Your eyes were red and bloodshot, your breath heavy “How many did you smoke?” He asked, trying to contain his tone.

You gulped down, lowering your gaze “Two.” Jake nodded and opened the door of his car, letting you in.

“I’m going to kill Heeseung somedays.” He mumbled, walking to the other side and entering the driver seat.

He started the engine and drove in silence, the late hours of the night not as lively as they usually were.

When you reached a stoplight, Jake opened a small bottle of water he had in his car and handed it to you “Drink, I want it all finished before we reach your house.”

You raised a brow, your mind was already puzzled and his actions only added to your confusion “Why?”

“Just listen to me.” He dismissed your question and started driving again while you drank small sips from the bottle.

You soon reached your house, this time Jake parked his car unauthorisedly in front of it, exiting the car to open the door for you.

You looked up at him, your vulnerable state making him want to protect you even more. Damn Heeseung.

“I couldn’t finish it all…” You murmured, showing him only the half-empty bottle of water.

His eyes softened. “That’s ok, at least you drank some.” You smiled up at him and stumbled a little as you tried to reach your house door.

Jake helped you, holding you up with his arms under your armpits “Shoot, Y/N. Why did you drink so much?” He let out a huff, as he was basically supporting all your weight.

You leaned on the wall and handed Jake your purse, not really in the state to open the door.

“What’s the code?” He asked and looked at your door, just to realise there was no code to access inside it, your door still needed a key to be opened.

His stomach dropped, another mental check of how different your lives were “Inside the purse.” You murmured.

Jake nodded and opened your purse, taking out the keys and opening the door, holding it open.

“You’re mad at me?” You asked again, your eyes half-lidded and you could barely hold yourself up— yet you were ever so pretty.

The moonlight shone on you, lighting up your skin, your hair falling down your face, messy but gorgeous. So dishevelled but so pretty.

“No, Y/N. I’m not mad at you.” He repeated, his tone sincere “Then… Then why you ignored me?” You asked, the pout on your lips only making him want to bite on them.

He gave you the purse back and pushed you a little so that you walked in “Go straight to bed, don’t wake your parents up. You don’t want them to see you like this.”

You nodded obediently and Jake caressed your cheek with his thumb before turning around. He stopped right in front of your door and smiled “I’m doing this for you, ma chérie.” And then closed the door.

𓆩♡𓆪

“Hey man,” Jake greeted Sunghoon as he entered his house, giving him a high five, “Good to see you again.”

“Yeah, glad to see you too.” Sunghoon nodded and closed the door behind his back.

“Am I the last one?” Jake asked, walking to the couch and sitting on it, bouncing a couple of times.

“No,” A wild Jay appeared from the kitchen where he was cooking something for dinner, already busy since late afternoon. “Heeseung texted he’d be late.”

“As always.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes and sat down beside him “I swear, he never changes.”

“Jay told me you will take over your father’s company,” Sunghoon smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes “Congratulations.”

“Yeah.” Jake laughed “Thanks.” Awkward silent filled the room, the only sound being Jay’s pots as he cooked. Sunghoon eyed him up and down, leaning back on the couch and resting his head on his hand “Hadn’t you rebelled to your parents?”

“Rumours fly.” He smiled forcefully “It was just a silly thing. I actually realised I should make them proud after eveything they did for me.”

“And what exactly did they do for you, Jake?” Sunghoon’s voice was low, his gaze piercing.

Jake just cleared his throat and changed the topic “So, how was Paris?” He asked “I know you booked a hotel near the Eiffel Tower. Bet it was awesome.”

Sunghoon tsked “Indeed. I’ll show you the picture if you want.” Jake answered positively when the doorbell rang.

“You get the door, it must be Heeseung.” Sunghoon got up from the sofa and patted his pockets “I’ll search for my phone.”

Jake got up as well and walked to the door, the doorbell rang again and he sighed “Yeah, coming.” He opened it and widened his eyes when he saw another familiar figure beside Heeseung.

He took in the sight of you, wearing comfortable clothes, looking ever so dreamy.

His gaze fixed on the hickey Heeseung made you a couple of days before, now all dark and purplish. He gulped “What is she doing here?”

“I invited her.” Heeseung shrugged, stepping aside Jake and walking inside the house.

You were left with him, staring at each other’s faces, acting as if both of your hearts weren’t pounding “How’s the after effect?”

There was no context but you knew what he meant “Good, I’m a big woman. No joint can kill me.” You replied, walking beside him when no more words were exchanged. Truth to be told the next day you woke up with a throbbing headache, regretting all of your life choices— though the biggest one was the hickey on your neck.

“I thought you didn’t want to hang out on this side of the town.” Jake spoke, his tone sounding mocking. You scowled “Maybe I changed my mind.” You walked faster toward the kitchen where everyone was gathered.

You got to know Jake’s friend group. Aside from Heeseung and him, you had only seen Jay at the last party. You later found out Sunghoon was on a business trip in Paris which was why you hadn’t seen him before, but even if you did he wasn’t the happiest about your presence, so you thought you wouldn’t have been friends.

Jay, on the other end, was sophisticated and kind, the two of them looking ever so the stereotype of rich kids.

Heeseung and Jake were rather normal, they could’ve passed as the kids from your neighbourhood if you didn't know their true identities.

“I brought some snacks.” Sunghoon announced, placing a sachet on the table. He took out all kinds of sweet things, but your eyes lit up at the sight of macaroons.

You had only seen their pictures and let your mind wander at what their taste would be like, but now they were in front of you, so you reached your hand and took one.

“You like ‘em?” Heeseung asked, taking the chocolate flavoured one and eating it “I’ve never tried them.” The whole table fell silent, all the boys stopping in their tracks.

“Never?” Jay questioned and you shook your head “That’s a bummer though, I only bought four for the four of us.” Sunghoon was about to take the vanilla flavoured macaroon out of your hand when Jake slapped it away.

“I don’t like them anyways, she can have mine.” Jay frowned at his friend’s words “You love macar—“ He was shushed by a biscuit placed in his mouth by Jake “I don’t like them.” He repeated.

You bit on the small treat and your eyes formed hearts “It’s so good!” You said, munching on it. And you didn’t know it, but Jake’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of you so happy.

You continued to spend time with them, playfully beefing with Sunghoon as if you weren’t an intruder in his house until they decided to go in the free time room to play billiard.

“But I don’t know how to play billiards.” You pouted, watching all the men gather around the pool table.

“That’s ok, you can just watch.” Sunghoon dismissed you quickly, placing himself in front of you to posionate the balls inside the triangle.

You just scoffed and sat on the kitchen counter, crossing your arms on your chest.

You watched the game develop in front of your eyes, never truly understanding its rules. They were too useless and complicated and you stopped paying attention in the middle.

After what seemed like forever, where you had the time to walk around Sunghoon’s big house three times and even have a chat with his maids — cause apparently, rich kids could even afford maidens — you entered the kitchen again just to see it was empty.

You looked around, checking if anyone was there before following Sunghoon’s previous actions, placing the balls in the triangle to align them.

You didn’t know what they found interesting in billiards, and trying to understand it wasn’t going to get you killed.

You took the cue stick and positioned yourself, copying the boys’ postures.

Something must’ve gone wrong, though, because as you pushed the cue you embarrassingly missed it.

“You are too far with your back.” The same voice that haunted your dreams spoke from behind you, making you flinch.

“Chill, it’s just me.” Jake stated, munching on some chips “Heeseung wondered if you wanted something to eat.”

You smirked, leaning on the table “Heeseung or you?” Jake rolled his eyes but didn’t deny your questioning.

He gulped down his food and stared at you “You want to play pool?”

“I already said I don’t know how to do that.” You repeated, glancing back at the untouched balls “I don’t even understand the rules.”

“Here.” Jake’s accent tickled your ears as he made you turn around with his hands on your hips “Bend just a little.” You didn’t know if his voice was really that low or if he was doing it just to tease you— Whatever was his plan, you were down for it.

“Mh? Like this?” You said with your most innocent voice, bending slightly more on the table, just enough to make your ass touch his front hips.

He let out a faint groan “Yeah.” He tried not to show the effect you had on him and trailed his fingers along your arms until he reached the cue stick in your hands. Goosebumps formed on your skin at the contact.

“Then?” You asked, eager for him to touch you. “Then you place the cue like this.” He shifted your fingers so you could grip it the right way and turned his face, you could feel his breath on your skin and the tip of his nose poking your cheek.

There was also something else poking your ass cheeks, which was why you started moving, briefly. Just to tease him.

“Take the aim.” The combination of his voice and the proximity of your bodies made your mind hazy, making it hard for you to concentrate.

You just let him guide you “And… Shoot.” You pushed the cue between your fingers and finally, all the balls moved around the green table.

One went into the hole and you jumped happily “I did it!” You exclaimed, laughing “You saw?” You asked, turning around.

Jake was staring at you with ever so deep eyes, full of emotions you didn’t quite get but felt inside of you as well “I always see you.”

𓆩♡𓆪

You weren’t sure why Heeseung invited you to yet another party, or the reason as to why you seemed to be the only girl at a boys hang out, but you weren’t going to complain.

The hotel you guys were staying in was huge, apparently it belonged to Heeseung’s parents and you could have it all for yourself the whole night.

Wearing the best dress you owned you presented yourself at the location beside the raven haired man.

You greeted his friends group and noticed there were many other people, unlike you thought, all partying and dancing together.

It was very different from the ones he usually threw at his house, this one was huge and packed, there was almost no space to go through the crowd.

“And you said I couldn’t bring Yunjin along.” You side eyed Heeseung, earning a shrug. “One girl from the other side is already enough.”

You slapped lightly on his shoulder “Rude.” Heeseung laughed and pushed your back a little. “Go have fun, I have guests to greet.”

Feeling like a mouse surrounded by cats, you made your way through the crowd, trying to ignore the thirsty stares you were receiving. Since that fateful night where you willingly let your heart out for Jake you had become more careful with your possible make outs.

As you turned your face to look at the big pool where people were swimming, you accidentally bumped someone's chest, which made you stumble backwards.

“Sorry,” You murmured, about to walk away when a hand came around your wrist. It wasn’t Jake’s, the one you were used to, it was much rougher and tighter.

You glanced up just to notice a tall guy, probably high judging from his bloodshot eyes and twitching nose. Holy Moly.

That guy lowered to match your height, his hot and smelly breath made your nose scrunch in disgust “Hey, gorgeous.”

Your whole body froze and your heart stopped beating for a few seconds “Uh… Hi.” You laughed awkwardly, trying to remove your hand from his grip.

“You bumped me by mistake?” He asked, getting dangerously close “Or did you want my attention. You didn’t have to pull that act, my attention is all yours now.” His words were so slurred you could barely understand them.

“Actually, it was a mistake.” You said and again tried to pull away from him, but the more you tried the more he got closer.

“Don’t lie.” He whispered and wrapped one arm around your waist. You were trapped, your breath hitching.

“I truly am not.” You pushed his chest away, resulting in him only tightening his grip “Come on… Let’s have fun.”

“She said it was a mistake.” A familiar voice with a thick accent, thicker than usual, commented, placing one hand on the guy’s shoulder.

The guy groaned and raised himself in all his height, turning around in slow motion — or maybe it was just your panicked vision playing tricks — toward Jake.

He stood in front of him, unfazed by how big and tall that guy was as he stared at him with a dark gaze.

“And who are you to interrupt us?” The guy asked, his voice too low for your own likings “Her guy.” Jake said as if it was the most obvious answer, raising a brow.

“So, I suggest you walk the fuck away before I throw one punch on your nose and break it.” You had never seen Jake angry, you had a few fantasies about it, but you would’ve never imagined him being so scary (and hot).

His whole aura was inky, arms crossed on his chest, showing his excessively veiny arms.

That guy was surely drunk but not enough to risk his own life. He raised his hands in a submissive manner and nodded “Alright, sorry man.” Jake tilted his head “It’s not me you have to apologise to.”

He took a moment to comprehend his words “Oh.” He then turned to you and scratched the back of his neck “I’m sorry.” He didn’t wait for your reply and just walked away.

Your eyes then met Jake’s, filled with wrath “I—“ You said but were met by his hand around your wrist, this time your body not repulsing it as that guy’s and he dragged you inside the hotel.

“Jake, let go.” You tried to fight him but he was stronger, dragging you through the corridors until he reached what would’ve been a storage room, full of pillows and sheets supplies “Let go, it hurts.”

Jake loosened his grip “You really have trouble written on your forehead.” He snapped, his breath heavy as he paced around the room “I can’t look away from you that you’re getting yourself into something bad.”

You frowned at his harsh words “That’s not true.” Jake scowled “Is it not? You either get high or almost—“ He couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence.

“Why do you even care anyways?” You said back, brows knitted “You’re the one who used me.”

Jake stopped in his tracks “Used you?” He got closer to you.

“Yes,” You stepped forward as well. “You just used me, made me think you actually cared about me just to rebel against your parents.”

You gulped, your heart breaking again at the memory “Next thing I know, you’re ignoring me and smiling at a pretty girl.”

“Did you fuck her, Jake?” He was taken aback from your words, placing his hands on your shoulders. You shrugged him off, he still remained in your proximity without touching you.

“I think I lost something here, who was I smiling at?” You clicked your tongue, your hands on your waist as you got frustrated.

“That girl, last Saturday.” You explained “Dark hair, killer body, tall… Come on Jake, just admit it you wanted someone to fuck but I didn’t and so you went with someone else.”

“That’s really not what I did. I would never.” He blinked faintly “That girl, she’s Karina, Sunghoon’s sister.” He then added “I don’t like her, not that way.”

You wanted to scowl at him, but his tone was so serious you found yourself asking “..What?”

“You’re not the problem, Y/N.” Jake said, sighing “It’s me, it’s all my fault.”

You shook your head, confused. “What— Jake, I don’t understand.”

“I shouldn’t have asked you to help me.” He backed up until his back hit the wall, running a frustrated hand in his hair “I exposed you to my parents— I—“

You moved to him, taking his face in your hand “Stop mumbling.” You ordered “Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

Despite the way he treated you in the past week, your touch was still gentle and you worried about him. A spark of hope lit his heart up.

Jake nodded and took a deep breath “My parents… they said that if I didn’t break up with you they’d make yours lose their job. You’d lose your house… I couldn’t do that, Y/N.”

He seemed as if he was slowly loosing his mind. You took in the sight of him, dark circles under his eyes, he looked paler wearing that white shirt. Just what on earth had he been doing?

“They’re powerful, with the amount of money they have they can easily buy your whole neighbourhood and evict you.” He gulped down “So I am preparing to take over the company, to make them happy.”

Your eyes widened at his words, “They threatened you?” You asked, removing your hands from his cheeks to stand properly.

Jake shrugged, “We weren’t together so technically I couldn’t break up with you, but I could stay away if it meant you’d be safe.” He sighed softly, “I told you I’m a bad bet since the first time we met.”

“No,” You shook your head “You aren’t bad, your parents are.”

He scoffed, “And I’m just like them.”

You fisted the collar of his shirt and brought his lips down to yours. He was shocked by your sudden action but he relaxed soon and closed his eyes, kissing you back.

“Say that again and your face will meet my fist.” You breathed out as you pulled away “You don’t get how brave you are? You were about to sacrifice your happiness to save my family… someone you met at a party.”

“You’re not just someone I met at a party.” Jake whispered “In just a couple of days you made my whole life better, you made me realise there’s so much more than what I was used to.”

He placed one hand in your hair, caressing your scalp “I never meant to hurt you, baby.”

Your heart jumped as you heard his whisper, the pet name making your head spin “Later, I want you to explain everything to me everything.” You demanded.

Jake nodded “Everything you want, queen.” Your breath quickened “But for now…” You trailed off and connected your lips again.

You kissed him, roughly and he did it back with the same intensity, having missed the taste of you, the scent of your perfume invading his nostrils, clouding his mind.

“Let me take you home,” He murmured between kisses “In your bedroom.”

You shook your head, stumbling backward and bringing him with you “Can’t wait.”

“You sure about this?” He asked as you got out of the storage room, bodies still tangled “I could be bad, worse than you think.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him down on you “Then, I wanna find out.”

Jake let out a small groan and resumed kissing you, blindly reaching a doorknob and praying nobody was inside.

He dragged you in and locked the door behind your backs.

Jake pushed you against the wall as he undid the buttons of his shirt while you unbuckled his belt, your lips never leaving each other.

He discarded his shirt and helped you unzip his jeans, throwing all of them somewhere on the floor.

He then removed the straps of your dress, slowly kissing all the way down your neck to your almost exposed chest. He pulled away, enough to look at the now barely-visible hickey Heeseung did.

Jake let out a deep groan “You don’t know how much this drove me insane.” He commented, trailing his thumb over it

“Yeah?” You asked “Were you jealous?”

“I wanted to rip his head off.” He said, kissing you again “Wanted to cover your whole body with hickeys and my marks, just to let him know who you belong to.”

You nodded, “Do it,” You breathed out “Make me yours, Jake.”

He unconsciously bucked his hips to meet yours, his clothed bulge poking your pussy “Fuck baby, you can’t tell me that.” He whispered, attaching his lips on your neck again.

Jake lowered the dress until it rested on your hips, palming your breasts, growling at the feeling.

You gasped when his lips engulfed your nipple, twirling his tongue round it. Your hand went to grasp his hair while the other slowly lowered his boxers until his painful erection was free.

Jake helped you out of your dress and underwear until you were standing in front of each other naked. “I’ll worship your body another time.” He murmured, trailing his fingers down your chest “For now, I just want to fuck you rough.”

You smirked and shook your head, making Jake widen his eyes “You don’t want this? I can stop.”

“No, I want it.” You stated, slowly sinking on your knees “I just need to show you my skills first.”

That was the hottest thing anyone could’ve done to Jake, his cock twitched in front of you. It was huge, veiny and hard, his mushroom tip looking ever so delicious.

“You see, baby? This is what you do to me.” He pumped his shaft, brushing it on your lips.

“Stick out that tongue for me.” You did as told and stuck your tongue out as Jake laid his cock on it, bucking his hips back and forth. The spongy and warm texture already making it leak with precum.

You played with his balls while you took him whole in your mouth, gagging when it hit the back of your throat. The filthy sounds filled the room as he took a hold of your head, fisting your hair in a makeshift ponytail while he thrusted inside your throat.

“So good.” He panted, his head thrown back and brows knitted.

You twirled your tongue around his cock, pumping it with your hands where your lips couldn’t reach “Sucking my cock so well.”

Before you could even register, Jake pulled out and raised you from your armpits, placing you on the bed.

“I need to feel your pussy.” He stated, rubbing your clit with his thumb “Want to use a condom, baby?” He asked, “Just tell me.”

You shook your head, bringing him down onto you in a heated kiss “Fuck me raw.” He moaned in the kiss and fisted his shaft again, gathering your juices, you got so wet even by just giving him a blow.

He slowly inserted himself in you, the stretch causing you to pant. You weren’t a virgin but he was bigger than the ones you had before, so it took a moment for you to get used to it.

Jake’s thrusts were nice and slow at first, his forehead resting on yours “I can’t resist.” He breathed out, giving a deeper thrust “Please, can I move?”

You nodded your head, trying to breathe steadily. Jake raised from you and spread your legs open while he moved inside you. You grasped your tits, palming them while maintaining eye contact with Jake.

“You don’t know how much I wanted this,” He groaned, pulling out just to spit on your hole to fill it again “Pussy so tight can barely move.”

Your hand went down to rub circles on your clit, trying to make it wetter as his thrusts gained speed.

Jake slapped your hand and commanded “Hands around your ankles.” And so you complied.

He leaned down and kissed you sloppily, his hips moving back and forth at a delicious rhythm. You moaned out loud.

Holding your head up to rest his forehead on it, your eyes still locked with the others as your body connected fanatically, Jake twitched inside of you and halted his movements.

“Fuckk, almost came.” He chuckled, pulling out of you.

“Want to last longer than this.” He took your body and turned you around, you raised yourself on your arms and leaned your ass up.

“You like being fucked in doggy, mh?” He spammed your ass “Looking so eager to be fucked dumb, you won’t think about anything but my cock in you.”

Jake pushed himself inside of you again, making you moan out his name “Yes, that’s me.” He groaned “Say it again.”

“Jake.” You gasped, he fisted your hair, making you arch your back while he rutted your body “Oh, Y/N.” He moaned as well.

Putting one hand around your neck, he squeezed it as he threw his own head back, lost in the pleasure your warm walls were giving you.

“Fuck baby, I’m not gonna last long.” He panted, stopping his movements to edge himself “Just fuck me.” You pleaded, frustrated by your own denied orgasm every time he stopped.

“Sorry,” He chuckled, spanking your ass and leaning down to kiss the back of your shoulder “You want to cum?”

You nodded, raising yourself to kiss him passionately as he slowly thrusted inside you “Can you ride me, baby? Pretty please?”

Jake looked so hot, messy bangs sticking to his forehead and heavy breath, you couldn’t do anything but agree to everything he said.

You waited for him to lay down, his back pressed against the headboard of the bed as you straddled him.

You rubbed your wet folds on his hard-on, Jake reached for your tits and squeezed them “Have I ever told you you’re so fucking hot?” He asked.

You chuckled “No, but I already know that.” You winked and raised yourself on your knees, slowly sinking down on his cock.

The stretch was still a little painful, but nothing compared to the pleasure his dick was giving you.

You moved on him, up and down at a slow but deep rhythm, feeling him all as he hit your cervix with each thrust.

Jake moved your hair out of your face, his lips attaching to your boob as if he was a toddler in desperate need of milk.

You moaned, your hands grasping his shoulders as you moved back and forth at a quick speed.

“Oh yes.” He put his hands behind his head and watched as you rode him, your mouth agape, gasping for air while shaky moans escaped your lips “Feels good.”

Your legs started to shake and you could barely keep yourself up as you felt the knot in your stomach tighten “I’ve got you.” Jake noticed and made you lay on his chest, his hands spreading your ass cheeks as he started rutting inside you, his pace so quick you didn’t know it was possible.

Your pussy clenched around his cock, creaming him as you fell apart, your moans loud and whole body shaking.

Jake didn’t stop, he chased his own orgasm which was so close.

“You're just made to please me.” He panted, giving a few more thrusts “You're made to squeeze every drop of cum from my cock.” His eyes rolled back with a low groan as he shot his load, his cock twitching until it emptied in you.

You both stayed there for a while, just trying to steady your breaths and calm your racing hearts.

Jake slowly traced your back with his fingers, a featherlight touch sending shivers all dove your spine.

He pulled out, his cum dripping down from your pussy to your thighs and bedsheets.

Jake helped you sit up and removed a few strands of hair that got stuck to your face “You look gorgeous.” He whispered, earning a smile from you “And you did amazing.”

He cleaned you up and threw the dirty sheets on the floor “I’m sorry for whoever will have to clean them tomorrow.” You commented, grimacing.

“Don’t worry about it,” He soothed, settling himself beside you and holding you on his chest, gently caressing your bare shoulder.

You looked up at him, resting your chin on his shoulder. “You should start making choices for your own happiness, Jake.” You murmured

Jake let out a small sigh “Indeed, I should.” He pressed a kiss on your brow “I want to choose you, not my parents, not anyone else. Only you.” You smiled, “I only want you, too.”

“I’ll find a way to fight my parents, I promise I’ll be stronger this time.” Your eyes softened at his words, you caressed his cheek and he leaned on your palm, melting “Oh Jake, you’re the strongest person I know.” You confessed.

“Really?” He asked, looking like a lost boy, “Really.” You confirmed.

Suddenly, your stomach growled loudly. Jake glanced at his phone he had found in his forgotten jeans and put on the bedside table “It’s late night, ma chérie. You’re hungry?”

You nodded, “I want steak.” Jake snorted at your joke “And I want a burger.” He said back.

“Hanging out with a girl from the other side of the town changed you.” You smirked, nudging his shoulders

“Yeah. For the better.”

THE END.

[rhaenella]

CL16 | Is It Over Now? | pt.7

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader

genre: social media au

summary: you and charles have been everyone's fave couple on the grid, but when you somewhat unexpectedly break up, you turn to songwriting to cope with the pain

face claim: léon

a/n: the finale... once again, all songs mentioned are either by taylor swift or léon. happy reading x

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6

masterlist

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Liked by taylorswift, danielricciardo and 1,292,849 others

y/n: End & New Beginnings. ONE WEEK.

✨Is It Over Now?~Say Don’t Go~Bigger Than The Whole Sky~You’re Losing Me~Now That We Don’t Talk~Pretty Boy✨

View all 12,138 comments

user55: y/n’s latest masterpiece is incoming!!

user56: YES GIRL LETS GO

user57: omg finally 😱

user58: can’t fucking wait 💛

user59: babe are you realizing you’re releasing on friday the 13th 💀

user56: y/n is like “i’ve conquered all this year’s bad luck already, no one can stop me”

6 October

Liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 1,450,288 others

y/n: It feels like it’s been a long time coming and now it’s here, my new EP ‘End & New Beginnings’ ��� Been a few sleepless nights making this to be honest. Ups and downs like always. But now I’m just so happy to let go of it and let you have it, and hopefully you’ll embrace it and make it yours. 

To the incredible people who’ve been a part of this record, THANK YOU! Couldn’t have done it without you… 

Here’s to the end & new beginnings 🕊️

View all 14,159 comments

taylorswift: Perfection 🥰✨🎼😍💋

y/n: ❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo: ART.

Liked by y/n

lilymhe: Beautiful work sweetie, I can’t with how talented you are 🥹 You made me cry the entire 23 mins (and then again cuz it was on repeat)

y/n: Awww, thank you love 🥰 and I’m sorryyyy 🙊

alex_albon: It’s so so good! I didn’t cry tho…

lilymhe: Liar

Liked by y/n

landonorris: Wow 💕

Liked by y/n

yourbestfriend: You’ve outdone yourself once again, darling, love you

y/n: I love you more baby

user60: as someone who’s just gone through a terrible breakup too, i cannot express how comforting it is to hear these songs and realize i’m not alone

Liked by y/n

13 October

—

You let your phone drop to the bathroom counter, blinking slowly, unable to fathom the conversation that had just taken place. Had he really just said those things? Scrolling through the texts confirmed that yes, he had indeed. The bastard.

Charles had always been the jealous type. But attacking you like that when he had been the one to… It was absolutely ridiculous. Apparently he still couldn’t—or wouldn’t—grasp the depths of how much he had actually hurt you.

You’d loved him with all of your heart. Until he had ripped it out and hurled it to the floor, letting it shatter into a million tiny pieces. Yet, even then, you would’ve forgiven him. If only he’d apologised. If only he’d shown true remorse. But he hadn’t. And so you’d been forced to walk the path of mending your own heart, and move on with your life.

Perhaps a small part of you had hoped that he could be happy for you. That somehow, even after everything, you would be able to greet each other normally—that you could coexist peacefully. But as his texts just now had demonstrated, that wasn’t going to happen. Not right now. And definitely not next week in Texas. You sighed. It would’ve been too good to be true, anyway. Especially considering who you were currently seeing…

A light knock sounded at the door, startling you out of those thoughts. 

“Are you almost ready to go, darling?” a male voice asked, soft.

Right. Dinner. Celebrations. 

You had been in the midst of applying the finishing touches to your makeup and outfit before Charles had interrupted, quite literally shocking you to the core when his name had appeared on your lock screen. He’d been the last person you’d expected to hear from today.

You swallowed the bitter taste that Charles’ texts had managed to leave behind. He wasn’t worth it, you repeated to yourself. You weren’t going to let his shenanigans ruin a perfect night—a perfect date. You ran a hand through your hair and readjusted the necklace around your neck when the bathroom door creaked open behind you. 

Looking up, your eyes met your handsome, new boyfriend’s through the mirror. He was smiling, eyebrows raised in silent question, ever patient as he waited for you to finish up. You felt your pulse quicken at the sight of him, dressed to perfection in a dark suit, hair neatly tousled.

As always, his presence was able to reassure you within the blink of an eye, the tense muscles in your neck and shoulders relaxing as you gladly let all of your complex emotions fall away.

“Yes,” you nodded, a genuine smile spreading across your lips. “I’m ready.”

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THE END

but who is she with? well, there’s a little (and not so subtle) easter egg that refers back to the beginning of part 6 that will confirm certain things… have you spotted it?

thank you everyone for coming along on this ride! it’s been a hell of a lot of fun writing and creating this story 🥰 my apologies to all the y/n x charles shippers out there, but as our songbird said: here’s to the end and new beginnings…

Now, if you'd like, please cast your votes below :)

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Tags: @sukisheadlights @eviethetheatrefreak @blueflorals @kiskso @dessxoxsworld @treehouse-mouse @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit @clown-fc @stopeatread @vanishingcherry @bb-swift @leclercdream @scenesofobx @kagatinkita @allywthsr @evieepepi08 @viennakarma @riverjane-d @httpjeonlicious @madnesstaking0ver @futurecorps3 @celesteblack08 @sadg3 @simxican @glow-ish @spideybv28 @laneyspaulding19 @tswizzleismother @slytherinfolk25 @merchelsea @1655clean @urgirlnextdoorr @cixrosie @lightdragonrayne @lxclerc @hopexcroc @nichmeddar @imthebadguyyy

[leave-alighton]

Time for a segment I should find a better name for: Songs That I No Longer Feel Like Pretending Aren't Good Just Because of Public Opinion.

Get your eye rolling out of the way now because I'm talking about Wait For It from the Hamilton soundtrack.

Yeah, yeah. Hamilton. You don't like musicals, Why is it about the founding fathers?, Lin Manuel Miranda is overrated, Um Actually it's Historically Inaccurate Because- shut the fuck up. Get out of here with your shallow, uninspired, freezerburnt takes. I guess in order to get to the meat of this song, I have to spell out the point of Hamilton. Spoiler alert, it's not about the founding fathers. On the surface, yes, it presents a paraphrased version of the independence of the United States of America. But if you go a modicum deeper, think a pinch more critically, it's about destiny, love, conviction, and all the complications that come with. The founding fathers are simply a vehicle for LMM's vision. Once you allow yourself to accept that the characters share the names of historical figures, you might be able to enjoy the art and talent that has come out of this show.

Take, for example, Wait For It. Sung originally by Leslie Odom Jr., who plays Aaron Burr, it's the 13th song on the soundtrack and one of my top favourites in the show. We'll start off easy and take a look at the lyrics, since they're basically LMM's personal play-doh. The first chorus:

Love doesn't discriminate Between the sinners and the saints It takes and it takes and it takes And we keep loving anyway. We laugh and we cry and we break And we make our mistakes. And if there's a reason I'm by her side When so many have tried Then I'm willing to wait for it.

And the second:

Death doesn't discriminate Between the sinners and the saints It takes and it takes and it takes And we keep living anyway. We rise and we fall and we break And we make our mistakes. And if there's a reason I'm still alive When everyone who loves me has died I'm willing to wait for it.

I mean come on. Stripping away the context, looking at just this, it's perfect. It's poetry, the side-to-side comparison of love and death and the similarities and differences. The faith and optimism he has (which is made all the more moving when you know how serious and cautious the character is), the emotion in "it takes and it takes and it takes" that I know everyone feels in their heart, not to mention the clever act of changing the chorus to draw more attention to the main theme of the song itself (because i can admit that LMMs songs are famously, Very Wordy)- already I am absolutely taken.

I can absolutely go on about the remaining lyrics, and how LMM is able to deliver important points of the story without just, telling the audience what's happening to a generic melody. He drives home ideas that progress the story- even occasionally sprinkling in points where he does straight up tell the audience what's happening, but using it as a literary device or accent to break up what are dynamic, almost Rhapsody-like pieces of music.

Like most of the pieces in the show, this song has a unique, identifiable, consistent rhythm and chord progression. Just listen to the first couple seconds- that's the Wait for it rhythm. Most of the rest of the soundtrack has their own 'trademark' as well- each song set apart from the other. You'll be back, Helpless, and Non-Stop are all incredibly unique pieces, and are only a few of 46 in the whole soundtrack. Wait for it, while unique, also falls back on its roots as a, well, broadway musical song by utilizing backing vocals- which overlap and harmonize beautifully when they need to emphasize and drive home a theme or just swell with the music in order to give that cresendo a bit of oomph.

In the end, it's still a Musical. As much as I don't understand it, not everyone likes musicals (who hurt you?). It's still part of the genre, as unique as it is. And, occasionally it can be hard for someone to separate the stigmatized context from what truly is, a fucking banger.

[purple-scrunchie]

Heathers Headcanons that live Rent-Free in my Head (Pt. 2)

Veronica:

Her birthday is October 29th (Winona Ryder's)

Ambidextrous

Has always been a huge nerd

Before Duke got her into classics, she liked sci-fi stuff like Ender's Game and Dune

Made Duke watch Spaceballs with her at some point (Their friendship has so much untaped potential-)

puts the milk before her cereal (This has made Chandler and Duke cry before)

Has a very noisy brain that refuses to shut up (iykyk), she turns to journaling to organize her thoughts and make sense of things

Often gets lost in her thoughts and forgets to pay attention to her surroundings

Has been known to pace around scribbling furiously in her journal for hours on end

Loves to pick up random things on the ground and keep them (She and Mac exchange shiny things, it's their friendship langauge)

Decent driver, if a little inattentive

Chandler:

Birthday is June 19 (Kim walker's)

Always wanted an older brother (someone who she could look up to & would protect her)

Cheats so hard at boardgames and card games

But never at croquet

So. Many. Freckles. Hides them with an inordinate amount of concealer (ik almost the entire fandom hcs this but I had to hop on the bandwagon too)

Refuses to go anywhere without a clear expectation of the situation

Or her planner and 12 color-coded pens

One time Heather and Heather threw her a surprise party for her birthday and she started sobbing because she thought it was an ambush

World's shittiest sense of smell (that's why she drank the drain cleaner, also she applies absurd amounts of perfume to compensate)

This also kinda affects her sense of taste. That's why she only likes BQ corn nuts, they have a flavor to her

Really likes flowers. She can't smell them well, but she thinks they're gorgeous. All her favorite perfumes are flower scents.

The one she uses most is lavender

Best driver of all the Heathers, which is saying something. This girl is a menace to the road. She goes like 90 in a 50mph zone and loves to run stopsigns/red lights

But she doesn't have road rage, it's honestly a little scary

Duke:

Birthday is April 12 (Shannon Doherty's)

Her favorite book is Catcher in the Rye (and Moby Dick ofc)

Veronica got her into scifi movies

Starwars and Spaceballs are now her guilty pleasure

She was named after some dead great-grandma she never met

her parents named her siblings Hunter and Hannah because they thought "ohho funny matching name children"

Only chews mint gum

doesn't go through as much as Mac, but will put like 2-3 pieces in her mouth at a time

Hums under her breath whenever she does little tasks like washing the dishes/doing her homework

When Gatsby hisses at her, she will hiss right back

Is much smilier around her cat than people

Worse driver than Chandler. Instead of running stop signs/red lights at 80MPH and nearly running people over, Duke swerves like crazy and flips people off through the window (To her the highway is a jigsaw puzzle)

Has somehow never gotten in an accident

She has horrendous road rage

McNamara:

Her birthday is December 3rd (Lisanne Falk's)

LOVE LOVE LOVES Madonna, her favorite song is "like a prayer"

Animal lover and devout vegetarian

also puts the milk before the cereal (this upsets Duke and Chandler less since they're so used to it)

way more observant than people give her credit for

Tries so hard, but just can't keep secrets

Hates lying. One of the only things she gets really mad about is when people lie to her

Has a million jingly key chains

Duke calls her "Macpie" because she loves to collect shiny things

Bonus points if it's shiny AND makes a noise (yes she is obsesed with those tiny jinglebells)

Loves to carry her friends with her cheerleader arms

Can jump freaky high

Coffee quite literally puts this girl to sleep

The worst driver of all the Heathers. She likes to think of road laws as 'guidelines'

JD:

Birthday is October 13th (Firday the 13th in his birth year)

Secretly a Canadian (French-Canadian specifically)

Speaks a little bit of French

He and Chandler argue in French all the time. It's how he brushes up on his conversational skills

Is even more of a cheater than Chandler

Favorite book is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

His favorite Heather is Duke. He likes to talk books with her and respects her sharp sense of humor.

Plays the saxophone (this is technically canon but specifically alto sax in my head), his favorite genres are jazz and blues

We all know he'd listen to modern day emo music without an ounce of shame

And call the stoner kids posers

Compulsively sharpens the few pencils he doesn't lose. Like he writes two or three sentences and then makes it POINTY again

Can't choose between cherry slushies and coke slushies, so he mixes both and goes Cherry Coke

In my AUs where he dies, JD's grave is right next to his mom's

One of the safest drivers you'll ever meet, but likes to go fast on his motorcycle. He thinks he's such a bad boy for going 5 over the speed limit lol

[hyouta]

KH ramblings part 3 of me saying a whole lot of nothing!! (Person who didn't know Re:Coded was this short)

Actually started this draft immediately after finishing the last post. Things I forgot to say...

It's not that I dislike Disney Town but I feel like the loop was so much shorter than it is in Melody of Memory so the Mickey March + It's a small world had me going crazy...

My dad heard it looping and came in to see because he got nostalgic for the song

Also fuck the platforming in the sewers, I think I accidentally unlocked it before I had good movement but I will burn it to the ground

KH racer game when

Didn't go to the Mirage Arena until just before going to the Keyblade Graveyard as Aqua, and then going to get a Xehanort Report for Terra

Also I rarely used D-Links, oops... it's actually sad how little I utilised them...

Getting trapped in combos was so so painful in BBS and I still don't know what I could've done otherwise because it was never this bad in any other game --- except Re:Com... I remember being so mad fighting Axel the second time even with my cheese boss deck, then I get his boss card that lets you attack even while staggering... which was a slap on the face lmao I was so salty...

Even though I want the full KH experience I've not attempted to unlock the secret movie for any game that has it... maybe I'll try unlocking a few after all games are done.

Speaking of... not sure what I want to do with the mobile games... I have played Union X before and I have access to the app on my phone but I'm not sure about playing all that again.

♥

Anyway onto Re:coded, damn people are way too mean about this game. People say out of the 2 DS games that this one is skippable and I'm not so sure about that... ok the story impact isn't HUGE but it does tie-in quite nicely. It's also like 16 hours without doing any extra stuff, that's one of the shortest experiences, not gonna kill anyone to try it out.

I heard KH3 acknowledges it, so... good. Game so fun I played for 11.5 hours straight.

Honestly the gameplay is so fun and it's a lot more straightfoward than BBS was (though I'm not sure if I utilised everything to the utmost, I got through in the end). Even as it goes through KH1 story beats the different level designs and new ways to fight the bosses makes it feel fresh (except who the hell decided to put an eliminator in the wonderland system sector... what is their deal?? are they satan???).

I watched the movie as I was going through Castle Oblivion (disappointed that they didn't use 13th floor, love that track) and didn't quite finish the game by the time I was done watching but I liked the small things they added to the movie. Some cutscenes were a lot more impactful but I miss some of the dialogue that was cut, even if small stuff.

Quick notes I made:

First impressions is the sprites are giving movie tie-in game. Low-key miss the expression less low-poly ds models lol

Sora babysitting the triplets is cute

First time playing one of the side-scrolling segments and he says "I feel flat".

Olympic Coliseum was so fun. Not gonna lie this world almost became my Agrabah, for it being in every single game so far, but this saved it.

This note just says "fire dashed off the map" because I glitched out of bounds. Thankfully the game did not punish me.

"You always try to take everything on by yourself. But I LIKE getting dragged into your messes" (crying emoji)

One of my new fav bits of dialogue: "Heh, I sometimes envy how simple your world is." "Is... that a compliment?" "I envy whatever makes you think it could be."

I have never had an issue with Hollow Bastion Riku, data or otherwise... but the last one was rage inducing, I just could not for the life of me remember how to counter his charge attack.

Last note is just expressing my disappointment that Sora doesn't hold the cards up to the door in the DS version like he does in Re:Com.

Actually last, last thing... it's funny in the secret ending how they cut of saying Saïx's name, as if it could've been anyone else?? I checked, it's the same in the japanese version... though it doesn't matter too much I suppose, I'm not even sure how long the wait was between this cutscene and DDD.

♥

I have a day off tomorrow to begin my DDD replay!! Then a 3-day weekend to play some more... I already have a note on it that says "Something something Axel not calling Saïx 'Isa' until he himself becomes Lea again something" thanks, me.

♥

Cause it's Christmas... I'll post tiny snippets of SOME things I've been doodling (cause also the likelihood of me posting anything is 10% at best, some of these are already months old lmao)

I want you all to know that I drew Vexen to complete the trio. Because I'm not a coward. However even though these are still the sketch phase too, for his one it's even less finished so I will not be posting lmao...

[slipshod-sawyer]

I don’t know but I feel like i have to put it somewhere?

Contains religious trauma and venting about Christianity thanks

I was raised on Christianity, Baptist to be exact, and then slowly my family gravitated into being non-denominational after a while.

I was maybe 10, going to bible club once a week, having fun with my friends, but with the terrible fear that I wasn’t being good enough for God.

A bit before i turned 11, my aunt told my mom that I was heathen and wasn’t good enough because I called my brother annoying. So i got even more worried.

From when I was 11-13, it got slightly worse. I started attending a more focused on God bible club and study twice a week, and it was okay for a bit. Eventually though, stuff was going downhill. I had a really bad stutter. Bad enough that I tried not to talk in public most of the time and was terrified of going anywhere where I would have to speak for myself.

My grandmother, who was no bible thumper really, but she was Christian, decided to tell me one day when I was 11 that my stuttering was because God was punishing me for being an evil and bad child, and that I was going hell for being so cruel and mean. I cried a lot, i think, and I almost had a panic attack at bible study the next day. It hurt, badly.

I had really bad anger issues, admittedly, and I know I should have tried to work on them, and I did sometimes, but I was still pretty bad. I was so terrified after that though that my stutter got worse and I was scared of trying to not stutter cause it would make me stutter more.

When I was 12, my club leader told me that I was a bully (i wasn’t, i don’t know where he got that from) and that God wasn’t going to be happy with me unless I stopped acting like i did. I then started trying to read the bible more and act like the other kids around me, and the few friends I did have stopped being friends with me due to being a “bully”. Mind you all, I was homeschooled, so these were the only times I had around other kids my age.

Right before my 13th birthday, I had a few months go where I thought I liked a girl. I got in trouble for asking about it and being online talking to other people who were thinking they did to. I was grounded for months and I was told that it was against the bible and God and that I was being stupid and would go to hell for even thinking I could like a girl.

Around the time I was 13, we were in zoom meetings since Covid was going around. We were reading Abraham and Isaac’s story and I wanted to cry on camera cause Abraham was willing to kill his child cause God said so. I remember asking my mother and she told me that she would never do that, and I was okay for a bit, until I heard my grandma disagreeing and I was crying again.

When I was 14, we had moved states and I was in a different bible club. The new leader lady said i needed to ask God before doing anything, any decision. If it was important enough for there to be a secondary option, i had to ask God. So I was terrified of every time I did something, trying to think and wonder if God was agreeing with the decision i made.

I started having panic attacks, stuttering more, I couldn’t even open the bible without seeing my notes and where I had written everything I had watch myself for. I was so so scared that I was going to hell for being horrible. I was terrified that I was going to do something wrong and end up in hell for being mean, not making the right decisions, liking a girl, or even for just stuttering too much.

When I was 15, my parents left Christianity for their own reasons. Me and my siblings stopped going to club and bible study, and my grandma died. I had nothing tying me to the religion anymore.

To this very day, I’m still terrified that I’m doing things wrong. That every time I look over my shoulder, a crack will open in the earth and I’ll end up in hell. Im scared that I’m wrong, and that I was really the problem. Every time a friend encourages me to heal and try reading the bible without someone else’s words in my ear, I have a panic attack trying to do so. Im terrified.

Alongside this, I have friends and people at school who judge me for not being Christian anymore, the ones who tell me I’m dramatic or stupid, the ones who tell me that i’m not listening. My own soccer team gave me weird looks when I wouldn’t pray with them before games because I felt like I was going to be sick, and one of them mocked me and almost cussed me out for “embarrassing her”.

I’m trying to heal, I’m trying to get over my trauma, but sometimes i worry if it’s really trauma or am I being dramatic and making it up in my head.

[kaibutsushidousha]

Memory in Children: Mechanical Choices (Sagrada Reset 3) - Chapter 2: Android Girl (August)

[INDEX]

Sparrows hopped close to her feet.

Haruki Misora sat on the park bench, following the sparrows with her eyes.

August 13th. 3 weeks after summer vacations began. Haruki had made a habit out of visiting the small park on her way to and from school. Waiting for Kurakawa Mari to appear at any moment. There was one thing she always thought about while sitting on this bench.

(Am I capable of understanding human emotions?)

It's been something over a month that Haruki has been searching for emotions. She believed that if she didn't understand Mari's and her mother's emotions, she wouldn't be able to understand Mari's question.

But she couldn't find emotions anywhere. Not in the library, not in the movie theater, not in the box filled with her old toys.

She remembered that she had emotions at age 5, back when she tried and failed to save that cicada. But she lost them somewhere along the process.

(How do I find my emotions? Does Asai Kei know where they are? Wait. Why did my line of thought lead to him? Among the students my age, he's among the ones with the narrowest emotional range.)

Before she knew it, the sparrows by her feet had flown away. Haruki was looking at the empty ground. She's been in the park for almost 30 minutes. She figured it was a day Mari wouldn't be there.

(Is Mari's absence sad?), she asked herself.

(It isn't.), she immediately answered.

She stood up from the bench and walked away. The unmanned swings entered her sight. (What would a person with emotions be able to feel looking at this? It's just a piece of playground equipment. Part of the background.)

She left the park. That's when she heard Mari's voice.

"Miss.", she said. She ran to her from the other side of the street. Instead of sporting her usual smile, she was panting.

"Miss, help."

(Oh, she's sad now. That must be it.)

"What happened?"

"I need to escape. They'll catch me. I won't be able to see mom again."

(What? All I could gather was that she's running away from something.)

"Understood. We'll escape.", said Haruki.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two ran, holding hands, in the midsummer heat of 4:30 PM. The sun was still high up in the sky.

Haruki headed toward where there was more pedestrian traffic.

They found a fast food store in the business district and dashed inside. The restaurant was crowded enough. They wouldn't be easily found there.

They sat on a window table where they could keep watch of the street, and there Haruki breathed heavily. She sucked the chilled air of the air-conditioned restaurant into her heated trachea. She worried that the chilling sweat would give Mari a cold.

Haruki asked a question amidst her panting.

"Who were we... running from?"

Mari didn't answer. She only shook her head.

"Why are you being pursued?"

She shook her head again.

(Does she not know the situation she's in? Without knowing it, I don't know how to solve it. Should we find a police officer? Should we call her mother?)

While Haruki was mulling over it, Mari began to speak in a quiet voice.

"The black suit people told me mom left."

"Are they the ones pursuing you?"

"It's my fault. Because I'm fake."

That wasn't an answer to her question. Haruki gave up and instead paid closer attention to what the girl was saying.

"The real one is dead, so I can't be here. Mom probably left because I'm fake."

Real. Fake. She remembered the story Asai Kei told her. The girl named Kurakawa Mari died 7 years ago.

Mari's face contorted. She was crying. Haruki understood that before the tears started rolling. She cried as she grabbed the hem of Haruki's dress. Her grip was very weak. That was the strength of someone asking for help.

Haruki looked around her. From the window, she found men in black on the street. Three of them as far as she could see. Probably more outside her view. They were stopping to peek inside every shop along the way, but they were getting closer.

She abruptly took Mari's hand and stood up.

"Look outside the window. Are these the men who are after you?"

Mari wiped her eyes and quickly nodded.

(They'll find us if we stay here. But how long can we stay on the run if we leave? How long we'll need to keep running?)

She thought about Resetting.

Mari was crying and it was full of men in black outside. She wanted to redo everything. But then she remembered Asai Kei's words.

ー You using Reset without me is pointless. Your Reset won’t stop the girl from crying.

(I know that much. I'll repeat everything. Reset doesn't solve any problems.)

ー If you’re trying to make that girl happy, don’t settle for a method. Never stop thinking about what’s the right thing to do. Break your limits to go beyond those rules of yours.

(I am thinking. All the time. But I can't ever get a good idea. What am I supposed to do? I don't know what can get Mari to smile.)

"Miss."

Mari clinged to Haruki. She saw a small blue envelope in her hands. She had seen this envelope before. Souma gave it to her and she gave it to Mari.

ー Think of it as a good luck charm. Open only when you really need it.

(Right. Mari put it in her pouch that day. That pouch she's always carrying on her shoulder. Did she keep that envelope on her this entire time? Was she hoping that it would come to save her?)

"Let me see this envelope, please."

She didn't believe there was any point in opening the envelope. It was as meaningless as a Reset. She was sure this wouldn't save her.

(But I have nothing else to rely on. If this doesn't work, we escape somewhere else. We'll keep running until we're caught, and then we'll Reset. It's pointless but I don't know what else to do.)

Haruki ripped the envelope open. There was a sticky note inside.

It contained a row of numbers separated by hyphens.

This is what Souma said when she gave it to her:

ー Then you have to say your wish out loud. That’s what will get it granted.

Haruki understood what she meant.

Next to the numbers, the name "Asai Kei" was written in beautiful letters.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At that moment, Kei was lying on his bed, reading an old mystery novel.

He bought this one ages ago. He read only the beginning and left it to gather dust on his shelf. It was the kind of book that he didn't exactly dislike but didn't feel like reading further.

Chapter 2 ended with someone dying, and when he was about to flip to the next page, he heard a knock on his door.

It was Nakano Tomoki. He could tell from the sound of his knock.

Kei stood up and opened the door.

"Phone for you, Kei."

Tomoki handed the cordless phone to Kei with a cheeky grin.

"Ok, thanks."

Kei took it and pressed the green button. With the same smile, Tomoki barged into the room.

Kei heard a voice as soon as he put the phone to his ear. It was Haruki Misora.

"Is Asai Kei on?"

"Yeah."

(Feels weird to be called by my full name here.)

"I have a favor to ask. I want to help Mari. Please cooperate."

He reflexively lost his smile.

"Explain the situation."

"Mari is being pursued by several adult men. We need a definitive way to escape them."

He wasn't shocked. The girl going by the name Kurakawa Mari was a questionable figure. He was ready to accept anything that could happen to her.

"Have you already called the police?", Kei asked.

"Not yet. I'll do it immediately."

"No, it's best if you don't."

They still didn't know if the public interests were on Mari's side.

"We'll talk more when I get to you. Where are you now?"

"In a shopping district not too far from school. Southeast of it."

Kei closed his eyes and recalled her location.

"You're calling from a public phone, right? Is it the one by the convenience store or the one by the drugstore?"

That commercial district only had two public phones.

"By the drugstore.", Haruki answered.

"Do you know the bus stop to the west of where you are?"

"I don't."

"See the byroad to your right? Go in there and take the first left. When you're out in the main avenue, you'll see a bus stop."

Kei looked at his room clock. At the same time, he recalled the bus schedule.

"A bus heading east will appear in 2 minutes. You can make it if you run. You'll find me 3 stops later."

"Understood."

She hung up immediately after saying this.

"What? You got called for a date?", asked Tomoki, still with the same cheeky grin.

"Almost. I was called for an elopement."

"Wait, really? Making the best out of your teenage days, aren't you?"

"I want you to come with me."

"Huh?"

"There are two girls there."

Kei tossed the cordless phone on his bed.

And then he smirked.

"C'mon, no time to waste."

"Oh. I've never seen you this proactive."

"Of course I am. A girl asked me to save her. It's our duty to do everything in our power."

Nakano Tomoki answered with a smirk of his own.

"I don't know what's going on here, but you're completely right."

The conversation came to a close as the two finished putting on their shoes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pedaling at the best speed they could muster, they arrived at the designated bus stop in 10 minutes. Kei's bicycle didn't belong to him. It was Nakano Tomoki's father's bicycle, which Kei was authorized to use whenever he wanted.

"Two girls, right? And one is Haruki?", asked Tomoki, catching his breath.

"Of course."

"And the other is Souma?"

"No, it's a girl you don't know."

"Is she cute?"

"Sure. Cuter than Haruki."

Tomoki whistled. He was always good at making noise.

"Well, Haruki is a real cutey herself. She's just weird, that's all."

"Really?"

Kei never thought of Haruki as cute. "Pretty" was the better word for her in his opinion. Wholly pure, unsullied, and undistorted. Pristine.

They soon arrived at the bus stop.

Haruki got off the bus taking Mari by the hand. Both wore one-piece dresses. Haruki's was a pale aqua, and Mari's had a large checkered pattern split by a wide diagonal line.

"That's the other girl?", whispered Tomoki upon seeing Mari.

"Yeah. Isn't she cute?"

"I can't deny it, but I prefer bigger boobs."

Haruki found them and sprinted in their direction. She opened her mouth but didn't know what to say, so she closed it without a word. That gesture felt very human.

Kei smiled.

"Hop on the back. We're getting out of here."

"Understood."

Next to them, Tomoki asked Mari her name. She hung her head without saying anything. Like she was too tired from all the crying.

Kei began pedaling the bike with Haruki in the back seat. The chain spun more loudly than before. It was past 5 PM. It wouldn't take long before sunset.

Tomoki was next to them, with Mari on the back seat of his bicycle.

"Where are we going?"

"Anywhere less obvious than a bus stop. Would your house be a good first place to stop by?"

Haruki's hand touched his back. Kei took notice that this was the first time Haruki touched him. It had the warmth of a human hand.

"Haruki, can you explain the situation?"

"You don't understand it."

"You call tell us just the parts you know."

Haruki Misora began telling the story.

She met Mari in front of the park. She was being chased by men in black suits. They told her that her mother left because she was fake and not real.

Kei had already pieced together that much. This girl had the same name as the Kurakawa Mari documented to have died. He had theories ready for why she needed to take regular exams, who was chasing her, and why her mother didn't love her.

"When is your last Save?", Kei asked.

"Two days ago, after 9 PM", she answered with a quieter voice than usual.

(She did keep a Save. Perfect.)

His next question was for Mari. It's a question that would hurt her. He didn't think it was right to further scar a traumatized child.

(But I'm more than used to casting away my principles.)

"Mari, were you created by an ability?"

She didn't answer. Behind Tomoki, the girl looked almost straight down.

"I'm pretty confident that your mother gained an ability when the real Kurakawa Mari died. The ability to create a child identical to the dead Mari. And you're her creation, right?"

Mari subtly nodded.

He could feel Haruki's hand getting tenser on his back.

(I must have asked this cruel question just to shake up Haruki's emotions. I'm sure of it.)

Souma Sumire's words resurface in his head.

ー Who is the android?

(I obviously don't believe that Souma predicted this whole situation when she asked the question. That would have been ridiculous. But Kurakawa Mari... This girl is the product of an ability... An artificial human lookalike.)

[duhragonball]

Nanwum VII Update: 72,197

I'm starting to run out of gas, which is probably not a big deal since I already cleared 50k, but this bears out my whole strategy of building an early lead. My intention was to pull down 2k per day from the 13th to the end of the month, and I'm still on track, but on the 14th I fell a little behind and only got to 1709. It's not a problem, since I got caught up, but I need to be careful from here if I want to make it to 100k. Not that I need 100k, but I like bragging rights.

To reward myself for the insane wordcounts I put in earlier this month, I decided to watch all of the recent DBZ review videos that TotallyNotMark put up. You know, the ones with the new Team Four Star DBZA clips in them. I'd already watched the "Buu Bits" in a separate compilation video, but now I'm finally checking out the review and...

I don't know, there's a lot of good material in these things. The editing is top notch, and you could play these videos with the sound off and still enjoy it just as an hours-long DBZ highlight reel. And Mark has a lot of salient insights on the series. I particularly liked his analysis of Gohan and Videl's dynamic, and it's also refreshing to see a DBZ fan who, you know, actually likes the show. Like, he's gushing over Vegeta's character arc, or talking about how great the androids and Cell are without a bunch of qualifiers, and it's just refreshing to see that.

That having been said, the writing for these videos often ends up sounding like this:

Like, arguably, you can't do a six-hour review of a cartoon show without being a little pretentious, but there's sentences in these videos where it feels like YouTube is paying Mark by the word.

Also, he tends to make these off-the-cuff style remarks, like he's discussing creative decisions about making the video in the video. I get that too. I write my blog with that same stream-of-consciousness energy, because I really am making this up as I go. It's a blog, there's not gonna be a second draft. But he's doing a YouTube video, and there's a lot of production values involved and the work is pretty polished. I don't think it makes a lot of sense for him to talk about how the sausage is made. Just give me the sausage, which is footage of the cartoon with a guy telling me what he liked about it.

I've sort of had this fascination with the writing style throughout the series, and I think if I had to spoof it, I'd go with something like this:

"Again, as I said before earlier in this video, when I started this review, I wanted to avoid sounding pretentious, an attribute the likes of which can be disastrous for the making of a successful review. But, having established that fact firmly and decisviely, perhaps even conclusively--not withstanding earlier comments made about the length of Piccolo's cape, which is a subject for another day-- I can say with great certainty that Goku and Vegeta do indeed comprise a dramaturgical dyad, not only upon which the series depends upon, but through which we can see the true genius of one of the most influential manga authors of all time."

And while you hear this word salad, there's a cool shot of Vegeta beating up Pui Pui or something.

The weird thing is that I didn't really pick up on this in his GT, Super, or OG Dragon Ball review videos. It's almost like he's purposely writing more stuff so he has room for all the cool footage.

Right now I'm in the tail end of the Buu Saga, and while I give him credit for being diplomatic about it, Mark still falls into the same trap I see with a lot of critiques of the Buu Saga: They keep comparing the existing text with some hypothetical better story that they assumed Toriyama was planning to write instead, before he changed his mind.

I think everyone has run across this before. People saw Gohan take the main-character role after the Cell Games and assumed this was a guarantee. When Gohan gets demoted and Goku takes the lead again, they cry foul and complain about how Toriyama failed to make it work, or he just plain gave up. There's an old fan rumor about how he was "forced" to put Goku back in charge because of backlash from angry fans, but this is absurd on its face.

This leads to critiques of the Buu Saga that operate on the premise that there's some idealized "correct" version of the story, where Gohan trains really hard, beats Buu all by himself, and so on. Whenever the published version of the story deviates from this "correct" version, critics suggest that Toriyama got his wires crossed, and blame everything on the awkward pivot back to Goku.

To me, that doesn't make sense. "Gohan and the Next Generation defeat Buu" is a what-if fan theory. Maybe it's better than what we ended up getting, but it's not fair to review the published work by comparing it to a hypothetical draft that may never have existed. That's like if a food critic gave a steakhouse a bad rating because he thought it was a pizzeria and he's still mad that his sirloin didn't have anchovies on it.

When you look at the Buu Saga as it was actually presented, the throughline is clearly not about passing the torch to the kids, because they all get jobbed out and killed. So it's dumb to review the thing and complain that the Gotenks stuff is pointless, and Gohan's power up is unearned, and his loss to Super Buu really sucks the life out of the story, and gosh, this is a really terrible passing-the-torch story. Well that's because it's not a passing-the-torch story. It's a story about Goku trying to pass the torch, failing, and discovering that he still has a place in the world after all. The "torch" he was trying to pass was his identity and personal responsibility, things he can't just confer on someone else.

You can't just tell someone else they're the new protagonist of your story and now they have to go do your job and feed your pets while you play video games. Everyone talks about Vegeta going Majin as a manifestation of his mid-life crisis, but Goku's mid-life crisis was him dying at age 30 and nope-ing his way out of life to train in Valhalla for the rest of eternity. The Buu Saga forced him to accept that this was a mistake, which is why he doesn't just drink a vial full of heart-virus juice after the story ends. He's back in the world of the living and this time he knows he needs to stay there.

And when you look at it from that perspective, suddenly all the Gotenks/Elder Kai Ritual stuff makes a lot more sense as awkward farce. It's anticlimactic and unsatisfying because none of those plans were ever going to work. Nothing worked until Goku and Vegeta both got their heads out of their asses and worked together. The world didn't need martyrs or torch-passings or a 'next generation', it needed adults to put their personal feelings aside for the greater good.

[hislittleraincloud]

You haven't made it in fandom until you've garnered hate, and that's what's happening now under Insomniac's Wenovan story.

Some asshat is spewing the usual garbage about the ship. But instead of sticking to the fiction, the bish went full-on MAGAt and inserted that us 'liberals' are all trying to push an agenda of pedophilia onto people, which to me just screams Warriors for Innocence (and I was waiting for Bible verses...alas, they didn't come).

It's almost like none of Wenovan's critics understand what fiction is.

That, plus MAGAts like that anon who cry about liberals are all ignoring the fact that the vast majority of men arrested for sex or inappropriate relationships with minors have been MAGAt-y right wingy 'Christians'*** and conservatives.

Former youth pastor in Colorado was convicted of sexual exploitation of a minor on October 13th.

Former youth pastor in Florida arrested on October 10th for transmitting harmful material to a minor.

Youth pastor in Ohio is on the run after being charged with 14 counts of sexually abusing minors on October 9th.

Former youth pastor from Duluth, MN charged with sexual misconduct with five teen girls on October 5th.

Former youth pastor in Wisconsin sentenced to 20 years on October 3rd for repeated SA of a teen (and wow, "will also not be allowed to serve as a pastor unless approved by his supervising agent" 💀)

Church youth leader arrested at the end of September for multiple counts of sexual battery (yet some news organizations protect his name because...Florida...but his name is Gregory Norton).

Former youth church leader in South Carolina arrested for criminal sexual conduct with a minor in late September

There's more from September, but I want to end this list on a doozy: a former KINDERGARTEN teacher and SENIOR PASTOR in North Carolina arrested and charged with child sex crimes on August 22nd

Less are the cops, and the rabbis, the Muslim clerics (in this country, at least), and the above list is just a fraction of the 'Christians' arrested within the couple of months. But I also pointed out that a pro-life, anti-abortion pill Texas state Republican secessionist who proposed an anti-drag bill "to protect children" had to resign in May for grooming: he plied a 19-year-old intern with alcohol, raped her, and then drove to a drug store so that she could get that very same Plan B pill that the hypocritical fucker was so against everyone else having.

That's our reality that we live in. But it's not the reality of fiction, where we can explore all sorts of issues and relationships safely (or, at least, we're supposed to be safe here).

You don't have to like Wenovan. In fact, I know that this fandom doesn't like it because this fandom is filled with the Gen Z types who have been indoctrinated to believe that merely writing about something makes you an advocate for what you're writing about. It's a seriously misguided application of identity politics that prevents creative writers (and actors, and producers, etc.) from exploring these issues without guilt or being guilted away from telling a story. It's called censorship, whether it be external or self-regulated...it's censoring what you as a writer and artist want to express through your work.

This is old hat for me. Very old hat. Shortly before I was arrested on that bogus attempted murder charge, I was persecuted in my school for simply writing a poem called "Little Catholic Girl". My English professor thought it was brilliant, and couldn't figure out how I was able to capture Catholic Guilt without being Catholic myself...I didn't have any answer for her aside from me wanting to be a writer and to do that I needed to walk in others' shoes. Plus, that poem was written about my most recent ex at the time, a girl who was quite into me and what we were doing, but was also crazy fundie about Catholicism (having gone to a parochial school before coming to public school like our high school), and more than a few times after she did something she felt guilty over, she would zip into a corner of her room or my room and start praying aloud.

I'm not fucking joking. Not even a minute after an orgasm and she'd be in a corner, crying and praying. Yet she would always be the one to initiate. (We never even got naked...it was all my handiwork.)

But I digress. I had submitted the poem to our lit mag, and someone reported it to the house master (we had houses in our little high school, and I was in the color and mascot equivalent of Gryffindor 🤮), and the next thing I know, I'm in his office and he's red-faced and pacing with a copy of my poem in his hand. He finally says to me, "Do you know what this is about? It's about lesbianism!" I just said, "Uh...well, I wrote it." because I couldn't think of anything else to say without being rude, and I already knew I was in trouble. They ended up pulling the poem from consideration and banning it, telling me that it wasn't allowed to be considered for the lit mag again. They censored me, because I wrote a poem about my short relationship with a crazy Catholic girl.

So of course I printed the most explicit excerpt of said poem onto a t-shirt with a suggestive graphic and wore it around school the next day. I got many dirty looks from the house master and the fucking bullfrog of a social worker who was also shitty to LGBTQ students, but I never changed nor did I cover up. I was 'outed' by it, but didn't care; it was 1990, so I put up with a LOT of anti-LGBTQ crap at my high school. 🫠✨

I learned at a very young age that there will always be some asshole looking to tell you what you can't write. But I have never listened to them. I have been an artist and writer for as long as I can remember, and what comes out of my creative brain is mine, and I'm not putting a gun to anyone's head and forcing them to read what I share.

I've also known hypocrisy for as long as I can remember, and it's usually the worst hypocrites who are quick to cast their sanctimonious judgments directly at writers.

If you don't like what we're writing about, why are you even here? Do you see any of us writers hopping on over to your Facebook pages to laugh at and mock your religion? While we should, we just don't have that kind of time. So how is it that you have the time to sit there and whine about something you read--presumably AFTER you read the tags? I'm normal, I read the tags of a story on AO3 and if I don't think I'll like, I ✨gasp✨ DON'T READ IT.

Jesus. Is it really that hard not to read something? I mean, I buy books that I desperately want to read but don't ever get around to it. I'm actually spending money on things I want to read but haven't, yet here we've got Karens who read shit that they'll tell you they don't like.

Anyway. My current depiction of Wenovan is a healthy one (aside from Wednesday's sex addiction). If you think it's unhealthy, it's because you're still stuck in your lens of 2023 reality...when I am writing from a lens of a fictionalized world where your morals don't precisely apply. I could write a different storyline/AU of my own story where she IS groomed or assaulted, but it would look very, very different from what I'm writing here, or what Insomniac wrote. Maybe some day I will take up that lens, but I'm currently not interested.

I'm writing a positive story about a couple doomed to their fates (Donovan, because he is old, and Wednesday because she will lose her greatest love sooner than she should have to). I'm not going to give out too much info right now (except for what I leak in comments and posts here 🤓), but the positivity is that they will weather their political/social storms with the kind of grace that Wednesday is known for, and they will be happy because that's what she wants in the current Afterburn timeline.

No one's censorship should prevent an artist from telling their stories. No one's moralizing comments should prevent an artist from telling their stories, and I sincerely hope that anyone else who would 'dare' write Wenovan (or even Weemsday, when Wednesday is 16/current) can ignore these hypocritical Moms for Liberty-like Karens and publish their work without guilt.

*** Afterburn Wednesday actually addressed this very thing in the text of the last upload I made, in her flashback speech to Mr. Fortunato, her parochial school AP Lit professor. She made him aware that she knew of several inappropriate teacher-student relationships at the school, relationships where the girls were trading sex for better grades.

[gothsavagehildax]

*Sad And Emotional Rant on 2020*

*Crying Softly without any sounds while I'm Sad in Silence* Hello everybody, it's 12:05 PM and I'm tearing up in this post right now.

😢😢😢😢

I'm starting to feel sad in silence while I was crying softly, because I have been depressed since last night when everyone is sleeping.

Now I cannot eat, drink, sleep or do anything in the middle of the night, and this afternoon.

Because I just had a stomachache, headache and I had watery eyes last night when everyone was sleeping and I started to cry softly without any sounds since last night.

Like Summer is coming up in 9 more days and now the Hot Weather made me feel like this.

&

Now I've been crying softly since last night and having a hard time sleeping.

I almost passed out, because Summer is the worst season ever since the Hot Weather has started and that affects me, and hurts my mental health.

I disliked Summer so much, because my anxiety, depression, and panic attacks came back right after the Hot Weather just really hurts me so much since my mental health wasn't doing great.

Since it's really hard for me to stop crying.

I'm gonna do a Sad and Emotional Rant about 2020.

Warning: this post does contain sadness, so please bring box of tissues to wipe your face we don't want you to feel sad or If you don't want to cry in this post just don't look at this post go look at something else

Like my good post about "Movies" "Video Games" it's some of the other stuff.

Sorry for being off topic on this post so I've apologize for that everyone that's okay though it happens.

*Crying Softly without any sounds while I was laying on the floor while I'm Sad in Silence*

😢😢😢😢

So anyways, 2020 is starting in January. I had an emotional breakdown back in 5 years ago.

When School had reopened on the next day, I went to Marshall's for my job program while I worked hard and made money so I can go somewhere to buy myself something at the stores, and restaurants as well.

Back on January 23rd, 2020. My dog Tek Boy passed away and I was starting to cry about it, because I miss Tek Boy so much since he's a good dog to me.

&

Then on March 12th, 2020. Which is my 21st birthday, I went on the School Bus just dropped me off at Marshall's. I walk to the Break Room by myself while I'm waiting for my Job Employees to help me work on stuff.

&

Then after I'm done working at Marshall's the School Bus came and picked me up while I'm listening to the Video Game Music just dropped me off of school. Which is High School North for the visit, so I can hang out outside while I'm listening to Music with my headphones on my MP3 Player.

March 13th, 2020. After my 21st birthday is over I've watched the news about the COVID-19 Lockdown so that means we stayed home and did nothing while I'm playing video games, listening to music, and watching movies during the lockdown.

&

Then the pandemic starts, I go to stores, and restaurants, while I'm wearing a mask during the COVID-19 Pandemic.

Later back in June of this year I graduated from my job program, while I was all Emotional about losing my old friends at my job program when I'm crying softly without any sounds, because I missed them so much and it's hard for me to saying goodbye to them before I graduated from my job program.

That's how I describe the story about 2020 so far.

2020 is the worst year ever in my opinion.

Because it fucking sucks!

So before I tear 2020 year apart, do I have any positive reviews about that year?

Maybe?

Here's some good times that year?

I went to stores like Walmart, Mall, Quickcheck, Pawn Shop, 7-Eleven, Wawa, and other stores I went to.

&

Not just that. I just cook some good food.

Maybe one day I should buy another toaster oven. It has the air fryer, and the oven, so I can cook some Homemade Ghost Pepper Mac and Cheese, and other food I'll be cooking in the Toaster Oven with the Air Fryer soon in the future after I'm done selling my old video games, movies, or music that I don't want anymore.

I also went go to Restaurants and order some food like “Taco Bell” “Popeye's” “Burger King” “McDonald's” “Wendy's” “Dunkin Donuts” “Roy Rogers” “Checkers” and some other restaurants as well.

Because I love going to the stores to buy stuff, and going to restaurants to buy some food and drink to eat at home.

Not to mention I just had some homemade Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars, and had some Thanksgiving Dinner on Thanksgiving Day.

I also watched Oliver & Company back in October, and November, during the COVID-19 Pandemic after I lost my hatred on that movie and give it another chance.

&

After I'm done watching Oliver And Company back in October, and November (2020) after I lost my hatred on Oliver & Company I enjoyed watching it? That movie was awesome and masterpiece. I gave that movie a 10/10.

Oh and one more thing before I move on with the negatives.

Here's my another positive review about 2020.

Is going out to Buffalo Wild Wings for my 21st birthday, while I'm having a blast.

&

I got Ice Cream with Resse's Peanut Butter Cups in it, Nintendo Switch Game, Call Of Duty Modern Warfare (2019) for the Xbox One, Peanut Butter Ice Cream Cake, and Lottery Tickets for my 21st birthday as well.

Back in Spring (2020) I lost my hatred on Netflix called “Hilda” and back on September 6th, 2020. I came and sleep over at Mom's House. I'm having Roy Rogers for dinner while I'm starting to watch Hilda on the living room TV.

When I watched Hilda for the first time, that show was awesome and masterpiece since I gave it a 10/10.

I also got some good Easter, and Christmas Gifts, every year.

Then that's it.

So those are the only positives about this year.

As for the negatives, I have a lot of negatives about this year.

*Still Crying Softly without any sounds while I'm Sad in Silence*

😢😢😢😢

Sorry about that you guys,

I just feel like this right after, my mental health wasn't doing so good because I just stayed up all-night feeling deep down depressed when I had a stomachace, headace, watery eyes, and

No guys, I'm not in the mood to eat Lunch today or doing raging rant when nobody’s home right now.

&

It's just a sad post I will be doing. I'm laying on the floor crying softly without any sounds when I'm feeling deep down because of my depression.

Once again, I can't get up to eat, drink, and not do anything since last night.

&

I hope I will feel better this evening.

So anyways here's my negative reviews about this year.

My negative reviews about that year?

The COVID-19 Lockdown sucks, because it spread the whole entire world.

Even worse? The movies, video games, and TV Shows got delayed?

Like seriously, I was looking forward to get some movies on DVDs, Blu-Rays, and 4Ks, for my movie collection, and video games for my video game collection.

&

Now it got delayed for no reason at all!

*Still Crying Softly without any sounds while I'm Sad in Silence*

😢😢😢😢

Here's another negative review is?

The thing that made me feel heartbroken the most is?

The Plotagon Community causing drama against me, and other people.

I disliked The Plotagon Community with the flaming vengeance, and they keep cyberbullying me, and making my mental health goes negative.

So there's nothing I can say about this year.

2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022. Are my least favorite years nowadays since I disliked four of those years with a flaming vengeance so yeah.

*Still Crying Softly without any sounds while I'm Sad in Silence*

😢😢😢😢

That's all the negatives I have about 2020

I will do a Sad and Emotional Rant about (2021), and (2022) as soon as I can, whatever I feel like it.

So 2007 is way better than 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022.

😢😢😢😢

Sorry about me getting tear up on this post, and getting emotional on this post.

So after all guys.

I'm giving 2020 a 0/10 “It's Bullshit!”

That's all I have to say for this post.

This is me over and out and I'll see you guys later on my next post, it will be a much better post right after I'm done, take a warm shower, and take a nap right before dinner time to make me feel better, and then If I feel better I’ll might eat dinner and drink some water, at evening or midnight snack tonight or If not then I’m still taking little nap tonight until tomorrow morning or evening to make me feel better not to try to feel sad anymore.

Or If I don’t feel better next time when I’m feeling deep down depressed, I’ll might do a Sad and Emotional Rant about (2021), and (2022) as soon as I can, whatever I feel like it.

I don’t know but we’ll see how it goes right after my shower, and took a nap.

I'll see you guys later and peace out everyone.

*Plays The Birth of Sandman from Spider-Man 3 while crying softly without any sounds during my chest inside of my heart still hurting while Sad In Silence when I'm feeling deep down depressed and having a headache, stomachace, and my eyes watery*

[longsounded]

@obligatorial asked: Send me a '✉' for five times my muse didn't text yours, and one time they did.

[TXT: Sept 1st] Can I come visit for your birthday? [TXT: September 22nd] Is your sibling treating you any better? [TXT: October 3rd] We're having fall break, soon. Maybe you can come visit for the weekend? [TXT: October 26th] I miss you so fucking much. I don't know how much more I can take of this distance. [TXT: Nov 13th] Can I come visit for Thanksgiving? [TXT: Dec 28th] I know this is sudden and I’m sorry I’m sending this to you like this rather than calling you or even trying to say it to your face, but I know that if I looked you in the eyes or even hear your voice, I wouldn’t be able to go through with this. The truth is that I love you so much, and that’s why I need to end this. Being away from you, it hurts so much. Even just scheduling our calls has become almost nonexistent. I know it’s not your fault and that your sibling needs you, but it’s left us isolated from one another. These past few weeks I’ve spent the better parts of the evenings crying because I miss you so fucking much. I don’t even get to talk to you much anymore, and it’s killing me. I've seen you once in a year, Gav. A weekend two month ago doesn't make a relationship. I know why we can't make it happen more, and I don't blame you for it at all, but that doesn’t help how horrible it is falling asleep without you night after night. If anything, it made the distance that much worse. If you hate me for this, I won’t blame you, but knowing you’re mine and not being able to do anything about it is eating me alive. This isn’t to say that you’re not going through the same thing. Knowing you’re doing something as noble as caring for your sibling must be hard enough, and I know this isn’t going to make your situation any easier, but I think it’d be kinder to both of us to call it off before we end up hating each other. I love you, Gav. I always have and I always will. I’m sorry.

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

THE POWER OF MUSIC: “DON’T TELL ALLEY”

Every now and again, the Hillbilly Hippie Music Review will seek out fans and friends alike to “sit in” as guest writers for the review to share about songs that touch them or changed their lives. On this inaugural edition, we have Austin L. pen a piece about the impact a song by a new-to-us artist named Joe Jordan had on his soul. This is what the power of music is all about, folks!

Written by Austin L:

June 13th, 2024: What would have been a typical Thursday afternoon driving home from work. Except this wasn’t a typical drive home. Spotify was playing a song that I had on repeat for two days— “Don’t Tell Alley” written by independent singer/songwriter Joe Jordan. As the first notes of the song play and Joe starts to sing, I start analyzing the lyrics that I had previously heard but did not fully comprehend. At this point the lyrics were almost memorized. The first verse begins with Joe asking God for a favor. He tells God that he knows he owes him nothing but “I thought that maybe just this time.” That’s when the tears begin to flow down my face. With eyes soaking behind my dark sunglasses, Joes beautiful, melodic voice screams a line in the chorus that hits me so hard: “The babies miss their mama // I don’t know how to be a father // Without her gentle heart, mine’s turned to stone.” My heart started pounding. My chest suddenly feeling a sunken, empty and hollow feeling. This song in that moment hit me so damn hard I couldn’t control the emotions flowing over me. As the song continues Joe begs God to tell Alley that he’s recovering from his loss. When I got home, I walked in the door crying almost harder than I ever have before. I held our sweet babies and then turned to my partner and hugged her so damn tight and said “I love you and our family so damn much that I don’t know what I would do without you.” She is chronically ill and had been really sick that week, so I had been trying hard not to show my fear about her condition. The song must have just broken all of that loose.

At first, I assumed this song was about Joe’s experience of losing his partner and the mother of his children. As it turns out, he wrote the song for the exact reason that on that car ride, my heart felt destroyed. Few times before has a song hit me as hard and deep as “Don’t Tell Alley.” The feeling of emotional despair and torment this song made me feel rivaled the feeling I get from listening to “68,” an emotional and meaningful song written by my good friend Nolan Taylor. Every inch of my body that could feel love, sorrow, pain and sadness turned to fire! The feeling of loss, despair and emptiness instantaneously overwhelmed me.

Every word in “Don’t Tell Alley” is meticulously and beautifully written. Joe puts so much love and emotion into the lyrics that it’s impossible not to listen over and over. “Don’t Tell Alley” speaks of a man, a father, terrified of losing the woman he loves most and the mother of his children. It speaks of the inexplicable heartbreak one would feel if this horrific scenario would ever manifest. It speaks of the unselfish love of a man keeping his pain hidden from his late lover while asking God to hide the painful truth from her and allowing her to live happily ever after in Heaven. It speaks about the utter emptiness he would feel if she ever left. This leads listeners to feel all of the heartbreak, emotion and true love that Joe emulates perfectly in this wonderful, heart wrenching tune.

Thank you Joe. Thank you for giving the world this beautiful song about real, true, deep and unbreakable love. You touched my heart and I’m sure you’ll touch many more with this song and every other masterpiece you will gracefully share with the world. You have made a fan out of me and I cannot wait until I can experience a live performance.

—————————————

Listen to this hauntingly beautiful, yet gut-wrenching track below. The HHMR is definitely a new fan:

[tnlbarth-blog]

July 13th 2023 - 3pm

Warning: All people places and things resembling any real people places or things are merely coincidence and are not to be taken as such.

So I've been thinking about my sister recently. (Which is something I am burdened with a lot considering I am forced to live in the same house as her and her son, my nephew.) My sister and I never got along. And by that I mean she bullied me and abused me badly and I would react to it and I would get into trouble. (because of course I would.)

Over the last year or so I have made it my mission not to have any relationship with her at all and to avoid her as much as I can. And the side effects generally are positive. Such as I'm not mad all the time because she is not around to push my buttons.

Recently during times where we need to converse I've noticed that she has tried on numerous accounts to upset me with sly words that would only affect me and leave others around us confused. She has this uncanny need to "be the smartest person in the room" which means whether or not she knows something she will state that she knows it when you tell her.

Example:

Me: did you know (insert any fact here that she doesn't know)

Her: (interrupts before the end of the fact) I know (proceeds to talk about a topic that she actually knows (little about) that has nothing to do with the fact I started to state.)

Me: (getting frustrated)

Her: (going to a topic that I know way more about than her and proceeds to explain it to me wrong. Or if it is correct it is literally something I taught her and acts as if I never knew it.)

And that would be where I would lose my temper and yell then promptly get in trouble as a child. But now before she can do that to me I leave. I don't need to be the "smartest person in the room" I also don't need someone telling me I know nothing about topics I am well versed in.

I came to a conclusion though, while I was in my room complaining to my cat about her assholeness. She has this problem because of her extremely low self-esteem and I should pity her.

By the way, this is only one thing she does to terrorize me. But this is the only one she can do at this point because I don't let her have access to me enough to do any of the other things. And I'm not here to talk about that.

Anyway, I do pity her. Especially since she seems to get really bad at it when things in her life are not going the way she wants them. That is usually her fault. She is generally not a very good person. And like all abusers and toxic people, she does have (very rare) good moments.

She seems to get mean more often when she, herself, is not happy, especially when her ego gets a solid blow to it.

Like right now her most recent "friend group" seems not to be very happy with her. She fucked up and now that they basically want nothing to do with her she has been taking that out on the rest of us.

Constantly, yelling, shouting, and crying. Having smear campaigns against those same friends to us. Telling us all the bad things they are doing to her (Which by now I at least know she is telling us what she is doing to them and making it out like they are doing it all to her.) so we will feel bad for her. And because I am the only person not going "oh no you poor poor thing" she is bullying me more than the others when I am around.

She met those girls a little over a year ago. And all of their ages range from 18-23 and she is almost 36 yrs old. (which I always thought was weird. But it kept her busy and not attacking us all the time and pulling her shit on us. So I ignored it.) I told my brother that, that friendship wouldn't last a year and if it did it would be in shambles. And I was right. Almost to the day that group started having problems.

And that doesn't even count the "first week of every month break" that the group came up with half a year in. I am pretty sure that the group and not my sister made this rule so they could have a week of socializing without her on a different group chat. And to be honest I don't blame them.

Oh yeah I should explain that a little more. My sister met these girls online. They don't even live in the same area. They made a little online roleplay group for a popular TV show. It's like five of them and my sister. And like I said above all of them except my sister are 18-23 years old and she is almost 36. It wouldn't be too bad but the roleplaying they are doing is romance roleplay where they all take turns roleplaying as certain characters and role play romantic stuff with the people roleplaying as themselves or characters that they made for that world. (I am pretty sure it gets pretty lewd.) Thinking about it makes me feel uneasy.

Anyway, I think I got a little off topic.

I'm gonna go now.

Regards

TNL Barth

[chrysanthemumpink]

Kind of a weird thing to mention but, years ago, he said that if it were up to him, he'd have 10 children. At the time, I didn't know that others thought of children as their legacy. Not as an extension of themselves. When he said that, I was so happy.

I've always wanted to be a mother. And to be the mom I didn't get to have.

It's not his fault. He didn't know. after 4 years, he still doesn't know.

But my mom has always been...ill. when I was younger, I didn't really notice. She was just a stay at home mom to me. Looking back, I see how much pain she was in. But that's what motherhood was to me. It was existing... despite the pain

By the time I was 10, my brother and I slept with car keys under the pillow in case there was an emergency. My mom slept in the living room, not in her bed. Every four hours, id replace the frozen veggies or meat she was sleeping with... with a fresh pack of frozen veggies or meat. Eventually, all of us slept in the living room. At 10 years old, it genuinely didn't seem too out of the ordinary.

Two weeks after my 13th birthday, my mom had her first heart attack and kidney failure. I didn't even cry. I remember all my aunts and uncles crying. But I did not. I didn't see my mom got another 3 years. Not until I was 16, almost 17. And even then, it didn't seem weird.

Now I'm 27. I've only recently come to terms with the fact that my childhood was slightly...traumatic. 10 year olds shouldn't keep food and medication diaries. And yet my mom is still here. I would not trade my life for anything in this world. And more than anything, I wish that I were half as amazing as my mom.

I want to be the mom that my mom tried so hard to be. I love cartoons and animation but these days, I see myself in the parents and in the mentors. Not the main characters. And maybe that's natural.

But I didn't have an idyllic childhood. And yet, it still felt that way because my mom tried so hard. It turn out she had a heart condition. It's genetic but she made sure it was addressed when my brother and I were children. I didn't know it at the time but...one of the reasons that she refused to see my brother and I got years was because she'd sworn against organ donation. My brother and I are a match for kidney donations. But she doesn't want them. She says she's the one "who made both of us." The organs will stay "where she put them."

I've gotten a little off topic. And this is so selfish of me. But I want to be a mom so badly. I want to give everything that I didn't have but felt like I did. I want to be the mother I looked up too and missed out on. I want my mom to see her grandchildren grow up.

But he could never understand what that means. I want my children to be a a part of me. He wants them to be his legacy. I'm 27 and he's 35. I don't have much time left and he feels as if we have all the time in the world. He says he wants so many children but won't do anything to create a stable foundation for any of them.

He still can't convince of paternal longevity. In his minds, parents are still invincible. He's never had to consider life without them or be greatful for each, single day. most people my age age similar.

But I wish he'd take his statements more seriously and understand just how much marriage and children actually mean to me

[misguidedasgardian]

Kinktober VI

The Babysitter

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: You were babysitting your neighbors kids, and decided to invite your boyfriend to join you after hours to watch some horror movies, after all, it was Halloween night

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader x Dark!Bucky Barnes Ft. Peter Parker

Chapter Warnings: Masklophobia (fear of masks), mentions of bullying and highschool “stereotypes”, pet names, Non-con, Dub-con, alcohol consumption, slapping, involuntary voyeurism, unprotected sex, mentions of sexual attractions towards a minor (both where in highschool), mentions of virginity loss, Mean!Steve (he is a full warning) threats of forcefull anal sex, a little breeding kink

Reader has a relationship with Peter, Peter and Reader are 20 years old, Steve and Bucky 23,

+18 please.

Word Count (Chapter): 3.9k

Notes: This fear's my own tbh, I really really don't like those costumes when you can't see/recognize the person under it, they made me real nervous, you should see my pictures as a kid in disneyland I appear crying in all of them next to pluto hahaha

Inspired by: Scream? I think I watched the scary movie version though hahaha. Also a bit of “Halloween” the movie, and a hint of the babysitter without the satanic part.

“Thank you for coming to join me” you whispered with a shy smile. Peter smiled back at you and gave you a peck on the lips

“I´d rather spend the night with you here than outside with all those morons” you giggled as you cuddled more into him to keep watching the horror movie

It was getting late and the voices of the kids walking up and down the street started to fade. It had been a busy night, you offered to babysit your neighbour´s kids, you took them trick or treating and afterwards you put them to bed. Their parents were going to return the next morning. You spend the rest of the afternoon receiving all the little kids that rang the doorbell asking for candy. Peter came at that time to keep you company, as you intended to watch some classic horror movies while tending to all those kids.

It was already 11 pm, and the noises that came from outside weren't giggles and chants of kids, they were loud sounds of music, and often loud groups of teenagers and young adults in search of a good party.

That's why you found it odd when the doorbell rang, it had been quiet for like an hour now. Peter was in the kitchen fetching some drinks, so you got up the couch. You opened the door and as you saw who rang the doorbell, you stood still in shock, like a deer in headlights. Totally paralyzed as a crippling fear took a hold on you

It was one thing to give candy to little kids dressed up as princesses, astronauts, cowboys or superheroes, another very differently was coming across what looked like two grown men with hideous masks on. A tingle ran through your spine as you stand still in the doorway

You tried to hide how much those masks frighten you, as both men stood still with bags of candy in their hands. You wanted to move, to give them candy, but you couldn't move. They didn't say anything either, portraying perfectly as Michael Myers and Jason from the Friday 13th movie

“Babe?” Peter appeared behind you and it seemed he blew life back into you, he looked at you in panic because he knew how afraid you were of masks, “Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?” he asked with a joyful tone. He surrounded your hips with his arm, gently pushing you away from the door to take your place.

They both stood still and didn't say anything, as Peter gave a fistfull of candy to each of them

“Cool costumes,” he muttered, clearly uncomfortable. You walked away from the door, still shaking, trying to gain your barens

“We don´t want your stupid candy you dipshit” you turned suddenly at the thick voice

“Oh shit!” laughed Peter, “Steve you idiot you scared the shit out of me!”

“You almost pissed yourself” Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers.

You had all been in highschool together, they were a couple years older than you and Peter. They had stayed here in the little town you grew up in. Bucky had inherited his father's garage, and it was the greatest mechanic in town, and Steve was running his family's farm. While you and Peter when you graduated went upstate to a big city to study in college.

You both were still in college but had decided to spend this weekend home, you loved halloween, but either of you were old enough to drink at those glamorous parties in the city, and would rather come back home to carve pumpkins with your family

“Was that (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” asked Steve, “Are you fucking her?” your cheeks burned

“She is my girlfriend” you could tell Peter was annoyed

“Lucky bastard” chuckled Bucky

“What are you doing here anyways?”

“Nat´s party was lame, we came here to crash” The mother of the kids you were babysitting was Steve´s sister

“Oh, cool” Peter moved aside and both came in, they had put up their masks so you weren't that scared anymore, but still you felt uneasy

“Hey guys” you felt a lump in your throat. Both looks of the guys struck you, they were so big, and thick with muscles, hidden behind the rest of the costumes, hard clothes, thick jackets, big black leather boots, fake axe and knife each. Steve was Michael Myers and Bucky was Jason

“Oh, look who's here” purred Steve. you all walked back into the living room

“Hello doll, long time no see” said Bucky

“How have you been?” You didn't remember them fondly, when they were seniors in highschool you were a Freshman, and they both were the popular type, Steve of course was the captain of the varsity football team, and Bucky the close second. You remember them harassing freshman and sophomores, pantsing the more quiet type, and also those rumours about taking the virginities of all the girls in junior class, or at least of those who them deemed “hot and perky”

But you tried to erase those memories, you were all a little more grown up now, basically adults, responsible people. You hoped they weren't going around flushing people's heads in toilets anymore

You remembered fleetingly how the highlight of your Freshman year was one time Bucky had stood in the hallway while you passed by, stopped you using his thick body, and arranged a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. He winked at you and let you continue your path and then you never forgot him, nor all the screams and hassle that simple act caused in highschool. And the years where you were still in highschool you have seen them multiple times, they used to crash at your parties until they were old enough to go to bars.

They made themselves comfortable, Bucky spreading his body widely on the sofa, while Steve went directly to the kitchen. You heard him opening the fridge and coming back with four beers. He tossed one towards his friend, while you stood on the doorway that led to the entrance. He walked towards you and offered you one

“No thanks, I can´t”

“C´mon” he chuckled, “The kids are asleep”

“Yeah I know” as you didn't attempt to receive it, he growled and turned to Peter, who denied him the same

“What a pair of buzzkills”

“I'm working” you said, smiling softly

“C´mon doll, get yourself comfortable” Bucky patted the space on the sofa next to him, and you eyed Peter, you wanted to sit down and that was the only place available. So you did sit down, but apart from him

“So, no parties for you?” asked Steve, seating in a single chair

“Na” responded Peter, clearly uncomfortable, “We can't drink yet”

“Oh right” snickered Bucky, but it looked like he was mocking you both

“Well if you are here, maybe we could go home, right?” asked Peter

“Ah ah” said Steve with a smirk, “Imagine we are not here, my sister is paying you to take care of her kids, right? Not us”

“Yeah, I know, I´m not leaving the kids” you looked at Peter and shook your shoulders

You went to the kitchen to get some more lemonade, as Peter came to you

“I don't want to leave you alone with them” he murmured

“Yeah but I don't think it's a good idea if you stayed” you said worried, “I don't want problems with Sarah with having a guy over”

“I understand…” he said, “Where are they going to sleep anyways? he said, “there is only one guest room upstairs”

“I know” you were uncomfortable with those two men in the living room, Sarah never told you a thing about Steve and Bucky crashing here, there was only one room upstairs, and Peter was going to leave soon anyways. You sighed, they had made it clear that you could not leave the kids in their care, so going to your house for a quick sleep and come back in the morning isn't an option either

“Maybe Steve can sleep in Sarah's room or something” you murmured, “I'll figure it out”

“I have to go, my aunt just texted that some kids threw toilet paper all over the tree in front of the house and she is freaking out” he came to you to place his hands in your hips, and leaned in to kiss you softly

“Ok, I'll see you tomorrow to go back to the city” you murmured against his lips

“Totally” he murmured back, “You better have a good playlist for the ride”

“You doubt my dj-ing?” you said, offended, “You are on Parker”

“I would never in my life” he said, blushing

“You better” you linked your hands on his neck and kissed him again, “I love you”

“I love you too” he said, you loved making him fluster like you were right now

“Please not in my sister's house” said Steve mockingly, who was leaned in the doorway

“Sorry” you muttered breaking off the contact with your boyfriend

“I'm just leaving” Peter mumbled, as he shook hands with Steve on his way out

“Don´t worry, we'll take care of your girl” you didn't like the tone he used, it made you shiver. Even if they were the hottest guys in a 1.000 mile radius, you didn't like them, you didn't like the way they looked at you, the way you felt their eyes trailing your body up and down, and you almost slapped yourself for being dressed as a cheerleader. Your old highschool uniform was the only thing nice for a costume you had in your place to take the kids trick or treating. You had a matching colour ribbon tying your hair up. But you had grown up and the skirt had gotten shorter, and the top tighter.

You walked back towards the living room, adjusting the skirt as you go, to turn off the tv and disconnect the dvd player, when you felt a thick stare right on your neck, that uneasy feeling you have when someone is watching you

“Guys I can sleep on the couch if you…” when you turned around you froze.

A whimper escaped your mouth when you saw both men standing tall next to each other, using those horrible masks, staring back at you

“What are you doing?” you asked, you could feel your body already trembling

They had you kneeling on the floor, your arms tied behind your back and a gag in your mouth, preventing you from yelling and shouting. You were so scared of what they were going to do to you.

Bucky was behind you, fondling you, touching every inch of your body under the cheerleader uniform, pressing his hard body against yours. You tried to ressist his touch, when you heard the back door opening, you felt incredible relief, someone was going to save you from these deranged men.

“(Y/N)” Your muffled sounds warned Peter, and when he looked at you he was stunned. You were crying and shaking uncontrollably, you wanted him so desperately to help you, but you knew he had no chance against the two larger men. But when you saw Steve coming behind him. You tried to warn him but couldn't get anything said. Steve jumped him and threw him on the floor, muzzling him. Bucky grabbed your hips and rubbed his covered dick against your ass in a silent warning

“Shut the fuck up” he growled, “you don´t want to wake the kids would you?”

You saw, powerless, how Steve grabbed him and with a decorative rope they used to keep the curtains on place, he manhandled him and tied him up to the armchair

“Don´t fucking move, or I´ll be worse for her” Steve growled in his ear, and he stopped fightning. He looked at you with teary eyes

“We really didn't want you here” said Bucky, “But we'll… we'll have to perform with an audience” he whispered in your ear. You struggled against his arm when he went under your skirt towards your underwear, and with a single finger he tugged them down your legs no matter how tight you had them close together

Your muffled sounds didn't reach their ears no matter how much you tried to

“I'll take this off” Steve hunch up until he was in your eyesight, “But if you scream I swear I´ll make you regret it” the hollow eyes of the Michael Myers mask was staring at you and you shook in fear, trying to get away from him, for a moment for forgot about Bucky until he snakes a hand under your skirt again, so you were still in a second. Steve took off the the cloth they were using as a muzzle

“No! Please!” you couldn't look at them, they frighten you, as much as Steve grabbed you by the chin to made you look at him, you shook in fear

“You are just a stuck up little bitch” Steve slapped your face making sob even harder

“Leave her the fuck alone!” growled Peter

“The masks” you sobbed

“What?” Bucky grabbed you tightly by the hair to direct your mouth to his ear to hear you better

“They scare me” you mumbled against his ear

“She has a phobia, take them out” Peter had his eyes reddened, filled with unshed tears, he had his arms filled with marks and redness from the ropes

“Ahh, poor Peter” said Steve, he left you in the arms of Bucky and raised himself up to get to him. He took off the mask of Myers and put it on your boyfriend, but backwards so he couldn't see you. “Where were we?” asked mockingly, turning back to you

“Please, don´t do this” you whispered, broken, knowing you wouldn't be able to stop them, “Why would you do this to me?”

“We have always liked you” he muttered, “Bucky more than me though, but you were always a stuck up, too good for us”

“That's not true” you whispered, “You never did anything, and I was shy”. A moan coming out of your own mouth surprised you when Bucky sinked one of his long fingers through your folds

“Well we are doing something now, Buck here would be more than happy to help you with your shyness” Steve´s voice became a background noise as you focused on Bucky's second finger opening you up, and his thick breathing in your neck

“She is so fucking wet” muttered Bucky, and you felt ashamed you really were drenched, and didn´t even knew why, since hi muffled voice and the palstic of the mask made you shiver. He took his fingers deeper into you, and you couldn't help but moan again when he found that spongy spot inside of you. You trembled in his hands, backing up until your back was completely against his chest, and you tried to shimmy your hips, still didn´t know if it was because you wanted to flee his contact, or you wanted more of it

“Fuck you are tight” growled Bucky behind you, “And you look so hot like this” you never thought that deciding to wear a stupid cheerleader uniform would be one of your worst mistakes. But he kept his fingers fucking you, harder and faster eachtime, and feeling shamefull, your mind broke into a mindblowing orgasm.. You moaned and twisted into his hands, not being able to stop it. “Fuck” he said satisfied, as your hips buckled into his hands

Bucky sat himself on the floor, taking off Jason's mask while his back supported on the couch, and Steve accomodated you on top of him, straddling him. Steve holds you tight while Bucky undid the button of his jeans, and opens up his fly. You could already see it, the outline of his huge cock pressing against the demin, but you couldn't react until you saw him, taking it out and fisting it tightly. You whimpered in fear.

“What's the matter sweetie?” asked Steve mockingly, “You'd never seen a cock this big?” you wouldn't dare to look at them, your heated cheeks talking for you as you look away. But Steve grabbed your chin painfully at made you look at him, “answer me”

“No I haven't” poor Peter, it wasn't his fault, this all weren't his or your fault

“Haven´t what?” he continued pestering you

“I have never seen a cock this big” you muttered

“Heard that Peter?” he called out, “We are the real men she needs”

“He is twice the man you´ll ever be” you cried, “Leave him alone” you murmured, and that gained you a slap from Steve

“Oh yeah?” Steve came at you, using his big hands to grab you by your back and belly, “Wanna prove her wrong Buck?”

“Fuck yeah” he growled, envigorated as he went forwards, he grabbed your hips

You let them both manhandled you how they pleased, not wanting to fight it anymore, until Bucky fisted his big dick to line it up towards your entrance

“Be good for Bucky or I will fuck you so hard in the ass you won´t be able to walk straight”

“Please don't!” you begged, “I´ll be good, I promise”

“Then ride my friend who has been dying for it for the last 6 years” Bucky is still fisting his dick, moving it along your folds, making you wince. He finally let him into your entrance. He looked at you cautiously, and didn´t move more, letting you sink into him.

You felt a couple tears run down your cheeks. You wanted to sink into him slowly, you knew it was going to hurt because of his thick length, but Steve had other plans, still having that hold on you, he made you sink down into Bucky´s cock. You whined when you felt that burn when he split you open, you sobbed falling into Bucky and hiding your face in his neck

“Oh fuck” cursed Bucky, “Damnit Stevie she is so fucking tight” he took hold of your hips, “She is squeezing me like a vice” He didn´t even let you get acostumed to him and started to fuck into you strongly, hungryly and without relent. Having your hand tied to your back you had no choice but to find balance relying completely on him, your chest in his. So you could muffle your moans against his thick jacket. He was controlling your movements and angling his hips so he could reach some things inside you you could´t believe they were real, you felt so embarrassed you were enjoying this so much, when the first bun passed leaving an incredible pleasure in its wake

“Shit” you cursed when his dick grazed your g spot. you felt your walls fluttering and squeezing him for all he was worth

“Fuck i´m going to cum so hard” he purred in your ear

“Please” you murmured, only for Bucky, “Not inside” you weren't taking the pill, you weren't on anything

“What, doll?” he mocked, “You don't want me to fill you up?” he kept an iron tight grip on your hips, moving you slowly over him to prolong the impending climax. You cursed as his cock grace something inside of you that made you lose yourself for a second

“I'm not on anything” you replied, somewhat relieved Steve wasn´t in between you anymore

“Damn that's hot” he grunted, “I will knock you up so you´ll stay here with me”. He then grabbed you even tighter, you were sure you were going to have marks to remind you of this tomorrow and the days to come. He picked up his pace, lifting his hips to meet yours in a frenzied rhythm. Another orgasm creep up on you, and without warning, you were coming around this thick cock, and Bucky had to cover your mouth with his hand for the moans no to escape the living room, “Shit you are gripping me so tight” your eyes met and that was all it took from him to still you while he was deep inside you, he grunted when he cumed and you felt his spends hitting your inner walls, warming you up from the inside

Your forehead was against his shoulder, as you both fighted to regain your breath. You shrieked when you felt Steve´s big hands grabbing your hips. He pulled you off of Bucky, and you both whimpered with the forceful disconnection

Steve was so big and strong he didn't have any trouble grabbing you to take him towards him. He pushed you and made you fall over Bucky´s lap, leaving your ass in the air.

“Fuck Bucky, you left a mess in here” he said admiring the cum dripping out of you.

“I was inspired,” he said breathlessly. You whimpered when you felt Steve thik fingers trying to pick up the already cold spend to put back in between your folds. For a brief second you thought Steve was going to leave you alone, disgusted by his friends “using you”, but you were terribly wrong as you heard him opening his fly

And you felt him. You whimpered when he splitted you open with one long thrust. He wasn't as thick as Bucky and you were thankful for that, but he reached more inside you because of the new angle.

“Oh fuck Bucky, you were right” he grunted, grabbing you by your hips, and without waiting he started pounding into you, hard and fast, worrying about nothing but his own pleasure, “She is so fucking tight, we are going to ruin her for poor Peter there”

Bucky distracted you, caressing your face and your hair while you laid there in his lap, being harshly pounded by Steve, who grunted like a wounded animal. When he changed angles you felt your orgasm building up in your belly.

When it snapped you moaned against Bucky thigh

“Oh shit that's the stuff” murmured Steve when your walls strangled him, milking him for all he was worth. “I knew you wanted this, you dirty little bitch”

“Don´t come inside her” demanded Bucky

“C´mon punk” Steve stood still inside you, “That's half the fun”

Steve kept pounding into you, and you couldn't take it any longer, you were overstimulated, tired, your entire body hurt, and without any warning, you lost consciousness.

“Fuck Bucky, we literally fuck her senseless” admired Steve. Bucky tugged himself back into his pants before he continued caressing your hair.

“She is so sweet” he purred, looking at your fucked out face

“C´mon Bucky” said Steve, spreading his cum all over your asscheeks, before cleaning himself up in your uniform, “I know you had a crush on her since forever but this changes things, tomorrow she is gonna´ leave this crap town, and hopefully she will forget all about this”

Still unconscious you were shaking in Bucky's arms as he held you against his chest. Poor Peter was passed out on the couch, defeated by the angst, the adrenaline and the constricted air of the rubber mask.

Tomorrow you weren't going to be able to stand in your own feet, still unconscious your legs were still shaking from all the times they made you cum

“I wanna keep her” he purred

“You can´t she is not a fucking puppy” he growled back, “don´t be an idiot, we will clean her up and get the fuck out of here after we drop Parker at his own place”

“I'll figure something out” he said with a shy smile as he dropped his hand to caress your belly