#and I have a limited interest in the rest of the available units...

[project-sekai-facts]

The complete guide to the Project SEKAI April Fools Unit Swap

Attempted at least. This post refers to the official unit swap AU that was available on the Japanese server in 2022, and the Global server today. Not this years JP April Fools event, and not the Virtual Singer universe merger from last year. Just for clarity.

Introduction

For April Fools Day in 2022, Project SEKAI introduced an alternate universe where the five main units didn't exist. Instead, the 20 main characters were sorted into five new units, based around the same themes as the original five. These units are: Aoharu/friends, YUME YUME JUMP!, FANTASISTA SQUAD, Happiness Sentai Sunny Sunny☆Wonder!, and Kyujitsu, Shumijin Doushi de. Each unit was given a game-sized cover song with an accompanying 2DMV, as well as a few area conversations to give us some information about the unit. In this post, I will be going through everything we know about each unit, as well as how each character's history is altered in this universe.

Note: Tumblr image limit is a thing so you are just going to have to take my word on some of this. Or, y'know, play the game.

Fan TL used (also sekai.best)

The rest of this post is below the cut because it is LONG.

Total word count: 3788

Lore

The biggest question here is if the SEKAI still exist. And the answer is most likely no. SEKAI are never mentioned or even alluded to in the special area conversations. This actually makes sense, since most of the SEKAI (Empty excluded) would have no reason to exist, due to the circumstances causing their creation not happening in this universe. I'll cover this more when talking about alterations made to character history.

While, yes, three out of the five special covers included Virtual Singers, from a production standpoint this was probably the easiest option. Aoku Kakero!, Ifuudoudou and Positive☆Dance Time all featured Virtual Singers in their original SEKAI covers, and all had their audio recycled in the April Fools covers. This was probably because it would mean less recording and less time reworking line distribution. Also the lack of Virtual Singers probably would disappoint a lot of fans, considering the entire game is themed around Vocaloids.

So for now, we're just going to go with there being no SEKAI in this universe (except maybe the Empty SEKAI, more on that later).

That said, there are definitely motivations held by the new units or individual characters that could potentially create different SEKAI, due to being similar enough to the causes of the creation of the main universe SEKAI.

Unit Overview

Unit 1: Aoharu/friends

Aoharu/friends (Youthful/friends on the EN server) is the April Fools universe equivalent of Leo/need, being a band unit comprised of childhood friends (in this case, two separate pairs rather than a single group). The members are Ichika as vocalist and guitarist, Saki as keyboardist, Airi as bassist and Ena as drummer. The band was formed by Saki when she returned to school after a long hospital stay, because, like in the main universe, she wanted to make the most of her time in high school.

The unit name translates to Youth/Friends. Aoharu is actually a lesser-used reading of the Kanji 青春. The more common reading is "seishun" meaning "youth", while "aoharu" directly translates to "blue spring". The reading used is probably a reference to their cover song, Aoku Kakero! (Run into the blue!).

So what do we know about each member?

Ichika is still a big fan of Hatsune Miku, and mentions that she can play some Miku songs on the guitar. She expresses interest in going to see a Miku concert with her bandmates.

Saki spent some time in the hospital prior to high school, where she became a fan of Airi. When she returned to school, she created a band to make the most of her youth. She invited Airi to the group because she gave her energy and courage in hospital. She says that she wants to go camping in the mountains and visit the beach with her bandmates. Saki maintains her ambition to try everything she can while she's still in high school.

Airi used to be an idol, but suspended her activities for unknown reasons (presumably the same reason as in the main universe). However, in the official translation, she says that she is an idol, and consistently talks as if she is still active as an idol. She was invited to join Aoharu/friends by her fan, Saki, and joined because she had wanted to try playing in a band. She later invited her friend Ena from a different school to join the group. She's still very serious about practicing and puts her all into the band's activities. Airi mentions that she wants to see an old idol colleague's debut concert with a new unit. This group is probably YUME YUME JUMP!, meaning that Shizuku and Airi still know each other in this universe.

Not much is known about Ena. She was invited to the group by her friend Airi, is learning to play the drums, and still attends Kamiyama night classes, but not much information is given beyond that. She is a little nervous about being around Ichika and Saki and isn't always sure how to address her underclassmen. It's also mentioned that she still maintains a friendly yet teasing relationship with her brother Akito. Extremely important to note is that she doesn't make any reference to art or being an artist at all, meaning that she might have quit art in this universe.

Also of note is that there is no School SEKAI. The School SEKAI was created by Leo/need's collective desire to rekindle their friendship and fulfill their promise to form a band in high school. Ichika and Saki do not mention or reference Shiho and Honami at any point, and they instead formed a band with Saki's idol (and her friend). From this we can gather that either Ichika and Saki were never friends with Shiho and Honami, or that Leo/need's friendship fell apart permanently.

Another interesting thing to mention is that Airi and Ena use recolors of the School Rock shop costume. The blazers are switched to their respective image colors and Airi's skirt is given a plaid pattern.

Unit 2: YUME YUME JUMP!

YUME YUME JUMP! is the April Fools universe equivalent of MORE MORE JUMP!, though the similarities are minimal outside of the idol theme and Shizuku being present. The members are Shizuku, Shiho, An and Kanade. It is implied that the unit was formed by an agency, with Shizuku being the only permanent member at first. Their manager encouraged the other three to join, even if only temporarily.

The unit name translates to DREAM DREAM JUMP!. According to the unseen manager, the "Yume" refers to the big dreams An and Shiho have (despite the name being decided before they joined permanently), but also refers to the term "yumeyume" (努努). When written in Kanji, it uses the character for Effort. YUME YUME JUMP! contains hope that they overlap their efforts to reach their dreams.

As for the characters:

We don't actually know much about Shizuku at all, other than that she was an old colleague of Airi's. YUME YUME JUMP! is a new unit, which means that Shizuku was formerly part of a different unit. Presumably, her past is intact and she was formerly in the unit Cheerful*Days. She is still very doting towards her sister as well.

Shiho joined YUME YUME JUMP! as a temporary member. She initially didn't feel that she was cut out for being an idol, but realised that it's not bad being a professional musician. This implies that she never took up bass at any point in this universe, or at least never pursued it professionally. This is basically confirmed in the official translation, as she states that part of the reason she joined is because she thought working as a musician would be a good opportunity, suggesting that it's not something she has done before. Despite the gig not being permanent, she still plans on taking it seriously.

An also joined the group as a temporary member. Again we don't know too much about her. She makes a reference to Haruka, confirming that they are still middle school best friends in this universe. She doesn't make any references to RAD WEEKEND, RADder or street music as a whole, suggesting that, like Shiho, it isn't something she pursued in this universe.

Kanade was hired as the group's composer, but was encoraged by the manager to perform as an official member. Kanade became the group's composer to try and save people with her music, the same as in the main universe. By the time of the group's debut, her goal changes from wanting her songs reaching the audience, to wanting the group's songs reaching the audience. She still has incredibly poor fitness and Shiho mentions that during the first week of practice, Kanade had repeatedly been running out of breath during warm-ups. However, by the time of the unit's debut, she is able to perform an entire song. She also mentions that she stays up late at night composing music and struggles to get up in the morning, another trait carried over from the main universe.

Once again, there is no SEKAI. The Stage SEKAI was formed by Minori's dream to become an idol, and Airi, Haruka and Shizuku's desire to go back to being idols/be able to enjoy it. We know Airi (on JP) and Haruka both quit the idol industry and Minori doesn't mention wanting to be an idol. Shizuku is the only member to still be there, and her story has been altered enough to make the Stage SEKAI impossible.

Their outfits are recolors of MORE MORE JUMP! outfits. Shiho wears Shizuku's outfit (with an extra armband), An wears Haruka's outfit and Kanade wears Minori's. Shizuku keeps her usual outfit.

Unit 3: FANTASISTA SQUAD

I tried so hard with this one because they only exist for fanservice but I can't just say that and move on.

FANTASISTA SQUAD is the April Fools Universe equivalent to Vivid BAD SQUAD, though they also take a lot of influence from WonderlandsxShowtime due to the member line-up being the boys from both groups. They are blatant yaoi fanservice. In the words of Tsukasa, they are backstreet entertainers. Similarly to Vivid BAD SQUAD, the unit is formed of two duos who had previously been performing independently of each other. Tsukasa is the leader of the group and invited BAD DOGS to join his unnamed duo act with Rui, thought this is slightly different in the official translation. In the translation, Akito mentions that he tagged along when he heard that Rui and Tsukasa were forming a unit, with no mention of Tsukasa inviting the younger two.

The unit name is derived from the Italian noun "Fantasista", which can refer to either "a football player with technical and imaginative abilities", or a variety performer. The terminology fit the description of the group, so Akito suggested it as a name for the unit, having vetoed Tsukasa's original name of Pegasus Dogs (derived from Tenma, meaning "pegasus").

The members also come up with stage names that are derived from their family names. Tsukasa is Pegasus Tenma, Toya is Blue Willow Aoyagi, Rui is God Generation Kamishiro, and Akito is Daybreak Shinonome.

Akito and Toya's story remains completely unchanged up until Vivid BAD SQUAD Main Story 1. BAD DOGS is implied to have existed prior to FANTASISTA SQUAD, with Tsukasa using "Dogs" in the original group name, and Toya stating that the group name does not contain a reference to Rui, confirming that the "Dogs" part is a reference to Akito and Toya. However, their goals seem to be different in this universe, as once again RAD WEEKEND is not mentioned. In spite of this, Akito still is serious about pursuing street music and still met Toya. There are multiple possible explanations for how they still managed to meet, some of which include:

RAD WEEKEND still happened and caused Akito to get into street music seriously, finding Toya as a partner, he just doesn't mention it

Something else caused this

the pair met through other means, and ended up getting into street music

or arguably the most likely option, the developers didn't consider if it made sense, they just wanted to supply fanservice

Toya and Tsukasa maintain a brotherly relationship the same as they do in the main universe. Tsukasa actually invited Toya to join him and Rui's performance unit, and Akito followed after Toya. Akito still finds Rui and Tsukasa weird and annoying like in the main universe, and was initially reluctant to perform with them, but says that he can't leave Toya alone with them.

Both Rui and Tsukasa still show a strong passion for performing (and also directing in the case of Rui). Rui keeps his skills in engineering in this universe, with An mentioning that he built the power suit seen in his untrained Runaway Thought Process 3* card in a YUME YUME JUMP! area conversation. Tsukasa also keeps his ambition to achieve world fame, hoping that FANTASISTA SQUAD will advance into backstreets worldwide.

How exactly they met and started working as a duo is unknown. The events are not referenced and it can't have been the same as the main universe since WonderlandsxShowtimes does not exist in the April Fools Universe. While the explanation for this is fanservice again, I came up with a hypothesis that aims to explain how they met. We know that in the main universe, Rui was a street performer. Prior to Tsukasa recruiting him for WonderlandsxShowtime, he used to perform one-man shows in the city or illegally in Phoenix Wonderland. It's heavily implied that Tsukasa still has an interest in acting, and he still aspires to become a world-famous star, so it is possible that they met through a street performance. Again, this is an assumption and there is no evidence to suggest this, hence I called it a hypothesis.

The Street SEKAI doesn't exist in this universe, since RAD WEEKEND doesn't seem to exist in this universe, or at least had no significant imapct on Akito or An. Since the Wonderland SEKAI creator is in this unit, I will discuss that SEKAI too. Wonderland SEKAI probably doesn't exist in this universe. The Wonderland SEKAI was created when Saki asked Tsukasa why he wants to become a star actor, with the SEKAI forming due to the fact he forgot the reason. Tsukasa's dream to become a star is mentioned in his home screen dialogue, but he doesn't pursue acting in this universe. It is possible that some version of the Wonderland SEKAI could exist, but it might not be the same. However we don't know enough about Tsukasa's past in this universe to make a confident judgement.

Akito and Toya keep their usual clothes in this universe, while Rui and Tsukasa use the Street Parka shop outfits. Tsukasa wears the default version and Rui uses variant 3.

Backstreet's back, alright!

Unit 4: Happiness Sentai Sunny-Sunny☆Wonder!

Happiness Sentai Sunny-Sunny☆Wonder! (The Happiness Rangers Sunny Sunny☆Wonder! on the EN server) is the April Fools Universe equivalent of WonderlandsxShowtime, being a show troupe at Phoenix Wonderland's Wonder Stage. The member line-up is Emu, Haruka, Kohane and Mafuyu, with Mafuyu taking the role as leader due to being the oldest. The group was formed as an extra-curricular group (outreach group on the EN server) with the aim to make children smile with shows.

Their unit name refers to the persona's the characters use in the troupe. The quartet take on the roles of Sentai (rangers) who defeat bad guys and make children smile.

Emu is still scared of Mafuyu's false persona in this universe, but everyone thinks that she's just nervous about spending time with a second year student. She strives to make Mafuyu smile genuinely, but has had no luck so far. She is the one who gave Mafuyu her sentai name, because she finds Mafuyu's persona to be "unshakeable" whenever she tries to make her smile. However when Mafuyu questions it, Emu lies and agrees with Kohane that the name was chosen because Mafuyu is a great leader. Emu's sentai name is Sunny Sunny Happy Emu - "here to put smiles on your faces today!".

Haruka joined the group despite her lack of acting experience because she liked their motive to make everyone smile. Other characters refer to her as an idol and we learn from Minori that she was formerly part of ASRUN, presumably leaving for the same reason as in the main universe. Her sentai name is Stoic Challenger Haruka - "you can't become an idol in just a day!".

Kohane is still a huge fan of the Phoenix Wonderland theme park, so Emu invited her to perform on stage with her instead of always watching from the audience. In the unit's first area conversation, she has her original appearance with longer hair and glasses, but changes to her regular appearance from the second conversation, which is referenced in her sentai name. She becomes incredibly flustered by Haruka's "idol smile", consistent with the main universe. Kohane is initially embarrassed about performing as a sentai, but starts to get used to it after a while. She's also still an incredibly gifted singer, as mentioned by Nene. Her sentai name is Makeover Beast Kohane - "behold my indomitable hammie spirit!".

Mafuyu still struggles with depression in this universe and puts on a false "nice girl" persona when talking to other. She ends up dropping it to play a villain role, but everyone except Emu thinks she's just a talented actor, and fails to realise that it's her genuine personality. Mafuyu herself just tells the others that she was excited to play the villain role. Haruka and Kohane then unknowlingly write a story for this villain character that heavily resembles Mafuyu's reality. Her sentai name is Goodness Smile Mafuyu - "the unshakeable senior who's always sparkling!". For her 'villain' character (later rewritten to be Goodness Smile's true identity), she is known as Darkness Smile Mafuyu.

There is an extremely high chance that the Empty SEKAI exists in this universe. It is explicitly shown that Mafuyu is still dealing with depression and although not stated, the cause is presumably the same as in the main universe. The Empty SEKAI was created because Mafuyu lost her sense of self and needed a safe space, which is implied to be the case here, since she acts the same way as in the main universe.

Emu keeps her normal performance outfit, while Haruka, Kohane and Mafuyu use recolors of the WonderlandsxShowtime Virtual Singer costumes. Haruka uses MEIKO's, Kohane uses Rin's, and Mafuyu uses Luka's.

Unit 5: Kyujitsu, Shumijin Doushi de.

Kyujitsu, Shumijin Doushi de. (Hobbyists on Days Off on the EN server), is the April Fools Universe equivalent to 25-ji, Nightcord de., being a group hosted on Nightcord. The member line-up is Mizuki, Honami, Minori and Nene. The group was created by Mizuki as space for people to relax and talk about hobbies. They have recently started offline meetings, shown in their area conversations, where they go to different places such as restaurants and Phoenix Wonderland.

Like 25-ji, Nightcord de. their unit name is very literal. They are a group of hobbyists who meet on weekends.

Mizuki is the founder and leader of Shumijin. They like making videos and collages, as well as fashion, watching anime, and reading manga. They have given the circle members advice on different fashion brands to buy. They are really happy they made the group because they don't have a lot of friends to talk about their hobbies with (lost touch with their friends on EN) and they hardly go to school.

Honami's hobbies include gardening and walking her dog. She maintains her fondness for apple pie, and asks the group if they can buy some during their first offline meeting. In a homescreen voiceline, she mentions that the circle will be visiting her house, and she's making them her special apple pies. She and Minori grow quite close once they start meeting offline, and they start walking their dogs together prior to the second offline meetup.

Minori is still a massive fan of Haruka, but she also enjoys learning idol dances and writing in her diary. She has given the members suggestions of ASRUN albums to listen to, which Mizuki really liked. After watching Haruka perform at Phoenix Wonderland, she becomes so enamoured that enters a trance and believes she was walking through a field of flowers. Something that should be noted is that she never mentions wanting to become an idol, or audtioning to be one, suggesting that she either gave up, or simply never had that dream. Regardless, she seems pretty happy to support from the sidelines.

Nene's hobbies are still playing PVP video games, watching movies, and going to see musicals. She has recommended movies to the other circle members before, and Honami particularly enjoyed a comedy that she suggested watching. She mentions that she isn't good at interacting face to face, and discovering the chat group was really nice because she didn't have to face that problem. That said, she does enjoy their offline meetings. Like with Minori, Nene never mentions her ambitions from the main universe in this one. Her dream to become an actress in musicals is never brought up, which could mean that she never returned to acting after forgetting her lines in the school play. Her giving up on her dream is actually extremely likely, especially when you consider that in the main universe, Rui was the one who encouraged her to try again when he got her a job in WonderlandsxShowtime. Since Rui is a part of FANTASISTA SQUAD in this universe, this probably never happened.

Unfortunately we can't really talk about SEKAIs here, since the equivalent would be Empty SEKAI, but Mafuyu is in a different unit. Instead I want to talk a little about something Mizuki says in the English translation. In the original Japanese, they say that they don't have many friends, which is consistent, considering that this is alternate universe is set very early on in the game's timeline. However on the English server, they say they've lost touch with a lot of friends. But who exactly are these friends. Based on their comments about skipping school, we can infer that their past is almost identical to the main universe, with the exception of being part of N25, since it doesn't exist. Going off of the main universe, the only possible answer is Rui. Why they use a plural for one person is unknown and was probably just an oversight by the developers but I'm in too deep now and decided to write about it. It's possible that the developers were trying to hint at 25-ji, Nightcord de. having existed in the past of this universe, but I doubt they were thinking anything that deep. Thank you for your time.

Something else that's very interesting is how this is the only unit that isn't related to music. The original N25 was an underground music circle, whereas Shumijin is just a chat room.

The outifts that the members use are recolors of the Midnight Fiction shop costume, with the exception of Mizuki who uses their regular N25 costume.

Outro

Unfortunately this is only two sections long, but we really don't learn much about this universe, since all we get is three area conversations per unit (some of which supply absolutely no useful information) and some homescreen dialogue. I originally planned to review the area conversations between the SEKAI Virtual Singers, but ultimately scrapped it because it would be too much content to cover in a realistic amount of time.

Anyway, I hope this is useful for fic writers/fanartists, or just people who were a little interested in the event.

Does any of this even make sense or should I be banned from loreposting

Extremely disappointed in the EN server for not adding a single Backstreet Boys reference in the Fantasista Squad area conversations. The opportunity was Right There.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 3: Faith and Religion. The films in Unit 3 are: But I’m a Cheerleader (2000), Prayers for Bobby (2009), Latter Days (2003), Blackbird (2014), The Wise Kids (2011), Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015)

Today I will be writing about

But I’m a Cheerleader (2000) dir. Jamie Babbit

[Run Time: 1:30 , Available: tubi, amazon, google play, apple play, Lang: English] 

Summary: A cheerleading-obsessed teenager is sent to a strict summer camp when her parents suspect her of being a lesbian. 

Cast: * Natasha Lyonne as Megan * Clea DuVall as Graham, Megan's love interest

Note: I watched the 2020 Director’s Cut

__

Hello, I have entered The Danger Zone. For the next two units I expect to be absolutely and utterly dashed upon the rocks as I start Unit 3: Faith and Religion, and eventually wash it down with Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley. 

Ben is being nice by having the first film on the list be But I’m a Cheerleader, so at least we can ease our way in to the conversations around conversion therapy and religious trauma to the queer community with some dark humor and bright colors. 

While I decided to embark on this syllabus project because my experience with queer media has been severely limited, there is at least one movie in Units 1-6 that I have seen before. For Unit 3, it is this one. I love this movie. I love this movie because for all that it is dark, for all the pain you see being carried by these queer teenagers, for all the harm that has and could be done to them throughout their time at True Directions, the film wastes absolutely no time highlighting the absolute absurdity of programs like this. What do you expect to happen when you put a bunch of horny, queer teenagers in a room together? But I’m a Cheerleader does a phenomenal job at maintaining the fact that queerness is inherent, it is not learned, it is not chosen. 

And it does something else that I picked up on this watch through, that makes me appreciate it even more, which is that it kinda pokes fun at 12 step-programs.

I don’t know that I have really talked about this much on my tumblr, I know I have referenced it a couple times in like…comments and conversations with some of my mutuals on tumblr about my opinions on Alcoholics Anonymous. Before I dig in to it, I will preface that AA and NA works for who it works for, and that’s cool, but I have strong negative opinions on these 12-step programs as a harm reductionist because they hold abstinence as the ultimate goal of substance use recovery, they are super religious, and they generally espouse anti-harm reduction ideologies. So seeing True Directions have a five step program, where the first step is literally admitting you have a problem are a homosexual, and to see these steps be a) absolutely absurd, b) random, and c) ineffective made me so happy. 

[OKAY WAIT REST OF POST ON PAUSE BRIEFLY SO THAT I CAN SHOUT ABOUT THE DIRECTOR OF THIS FILM AND THE FACT THAT AS I WAS RESEARCHING FOR THE FOR/BY/ABOUT SECTION, THE DIRECTOR, JAMIE BABBIT’S MOTHER RAN A TREATMENT PROGRAM FOR TEENAGERS WITH DRUG AND ALCOHOL PROBLEMS THAT WAS NAMED NEW DIRECTIONS, AND THAT IS WHAT TRUE DIRECTIONS WAS BASED ON. HAHAHA! That is the most succinct confirmation of my read on a piece of media I have ever had] 

For real, this program did not work on a single one of the residents by the end of the film, and that is absolutely what needs to happen. 

I love that the kids sneak out to go to a gay bar, I love that when the kids fail the conversion therapy program they get taken in by survivors of True Directions and find safety in a queer-positive house, especially because (as we see with Megan) if the kids fail the program they do risk homelessness. Which is a very real and present threat to queer kids today, both conversion therapy and possible homelessness. 

I like that Megan’s parents picked up on the fact she was queer before Megan herself did (shout out to vegetarianism, I literally wrote ‘vegetarian’ in my notes as an observed potential indicator lol) and find it is absolutely an intentional point that Megan would very possibly not have realized she was queer if her parents hadn’t sent her to conversion therapy, because it was not until a fellow queer was like “not all girls think about what you are thinking about when you look at girls” 

And it always hurts my heart a little when I hear people say their parents make comments sometimes that are like “well, everyone thinks about kissing a girl sometimes” etc etc and are still existing under the belief that they are straight. Megan seemed completely oblivious to her own queerness until other people pointed it out, and her parents might have had the intended outcome of a “straight” child if they had just kept their mouths shut and minded their own goddamn business. 

Not that we want Megan to be straight, but more just that the film itself feels like it does make a point of calling out the fact that putting your queer kid in a room with other queer kids is going to help them understand themselves better. It’s why cishets are so terrified of trans people, because the more visible trans and/or queer people are, the more people are able to question their own identities, and the more the white supremacist society we have built in the United States starts to become undermined by the degradation of a pillar of patriarchal heteronormativity, etc etc. 

I love that on the boy’s side of True Directions all the little decorations of like…shop tools and soldiers look sexual. The soliders look like they are either getting fucked in the ass, or about to perform oral sex. The tools look like dicks, it’s very much indicative of the fact that even the adults who say they have been “cured” really have not been, because they are still creating scenery and teaching these boys how to be straight while subconsciously producing images of queerness. 

I love that But I’m a Cheerleader is also able to challenge our own perceptions of queerness and heterosexuality. I love that it is Jan, who looks the most butch/masc of all the girls who is revealed to be heterosexual, and I think it is vitally important to see this not only as commentary around judging people based on appearance, but also can be used as a discussion point about the masculinization of women of color, and in addition the fact that all the girls are turned on watching Jan vacuum the floor, demonstrating that masculine women can be seen as hot/sexy. 

Anyway, I love this movie a lot, I think the messaging is great, I think it can read a little more serious for a queer audience than a straight audience around the actual extent of the damage done to these characters during their time at True Directions, but I think there are all of these little things that make the funny moments funnier if you are queer. 

For/By/About 

For sure by and about queer people. Both the director, Jamie Babbit, and the screenwriter, Brian Wayne Peterson are queer. I will admit that for a bit during the film I struggled to decide whether or not this film was made for queer people, because in some regards I thought that perhaps the purpose of But I’m A Cheerleader was to show straight people how fucking stupid conversion therapy is. But, I have actually landed on The Gay Trifecta for this one. 

Jamie Babbit stated that part of her inspiration for making this film was because she wanted more representation for fem lesbians in media, and that she decided to make it a romcom because of how media has historically treated lesbians (if you have read some of my other posts, we know I have talked about that history multiple times). 

Favorite Moment

SEX SCENE! So, I am pretty certain that I watched But I’m A Cheerleader for the first time before 2020, and therefore I did not have access to the director’s cut. But, in 2020 Babbit released her own cut of the movie, which is 5 minutes longer and I think the only difference between the two films is the addition of a sex scene that had been cut out of the initial film. It is not a hardcore scene by any means, but it is absolutely gorgeous, and it has some very clever and important shots contained within it, the most memorable for me being the shot of the cross necklace Megan always wears as she is actively having sex with Graham. 

Favorite Quote

“You are who you are, the only trick is not getting caught” 

God is that just like a bullseye statement for queer people, especially the ones who have to stay closeted. Such a quick line, such an active acknowledgement of threat, because everyone that ended up at True Horizons either got caught or couldn’t hide.

Score

10/10

Next up, Prayers for Bobby, and uh, I have it on good authority that it may leave me looking like Graham in that gif directly above this sentence.

[wolfblood-of-anubis]

HOA Among Us Gameplay

Seasons Greetings! Are you a House of Anubis fan? Do you find yourself wanting a chance to experience being the characters themselves? Did you play the Among Us game at some point in your life? Do you want to unite with your fellow HOA fans and accuse them of murder?

Well, this is the place for you!

Listen, as Sibuna followers we’re on top of anything spooky and creepy. Let’s put ourselves to the test and have a nice gameplay of Among Us. Maybe three rounds, maybe more depending how we’re feeling after.

We play as characters, try to be in character for as long as possible. If you’re Fabian or Nina, be super sleuthy. If you’re Patricia never stop accusing people or causing fights. If you’re Jerome… you’re probably the impostor.

When?

On December 27th, on 5PM AST (time is a default and available to change if contacted) we shall connect and play a rousing game of Among Us, dress up and name ourselves after our chosen HOA character and figure out the two imposters among us. You heard that right, folks! Two imposters.

I will be posting the game entry code 10 minutes before we begin so everyone can get settled.

Which Among Us map will we explore?

Map will be The Airship (it has a very Anubis House vibe to it). But since it’s also larger than most, I suggest practice playing it solo. For more information, please DM me and I can teach you how. If not, the map can always go back to the original setting: The Skeld.

Now, who are you going to be?

There are 15 slots for a full Among Us gameplay and if we have more than 15 people interested, I suggest to repeat the activity with the others the next day on Dec. 23rd. Anyone interested in replaying can do so as well if there are slots available for the next day.

Until then, the characters provided are listed below. Please write in the replies if you are interested and which character you would like to play as! Remember that this is a commitment for December 22nd!

characters not available will be crossed off

Nina Martin - @incorrectsibunaquotes

Fabian Rutter - @fakeosirian

Patricia Williamson

Amber Millington - @find-y0ur-j0y

Alfie Lewis - @wolfblood-of-anubis

Jerome Clarke

Joy Mercer - @katexxr

Eddie Miller

KT Rush

Mara Jaffray

Willow Jenks

Mick Campbell

Trudy Rehmann

Victor Rodenmarr Jr.

Whoever picks this spot gets to choose from the rest of the many side characters/recurring characters over the years. Examples include but not limited to:

Poppy

Piper

Rufus

Sarah

Vera

Mr. Sweet

Mrs. Andrews

Benji

Evil RFS

Caroline Denby

Harriet Denby

Letdown

Chat option ideas:

- we can stick to the Among Us chat box

- or we can make a Discord call and all chat on it during voting and emergency meetings. Another fun thing about Discord is you can just type your message rather than speak if you don’t want to.

let’s explore the chaos of anubis house, shall we?

also, big thanks to @yackers for the hoa gifs, excellent as always!

@find-y0ur-j0y @frobisher-smythe @frobitcher-smythe @incorrectsibunaquotes @thechosenanubis @fakeosirian @joysmercer @joymercerssecretgf @tess-or-no @lialovesstuff @katexxr @dreaming-of-galaxies-and-stars @whispers-of-gallifrey @inseacure-possum @thereofrin @almostlikequake @sibunaaanubis @sibunator

[bumblebeeappletree]

Moving closer to a dense urban area often comes at the cost of garden and green space. But with creative planning, you can still have a productive and beautiful patch, even when you haven't got a lot of room to move.

Hannah visits self-taught gardeners in South Hobart who have made the most of a small urban garden, producing food year-round.

Vivienne Luke and partner Des moved here nine years ago after a decision to downsize from a larger property twenty kms out of town. “We were faced with the conundrum; how do you make a garden in a space like this?” says Vivienne. The previous garden was much bigger, with rich soil, flat aspect, and lots of sun. “It was wonderful... (Moving here), we wanted a vegetable garden, some fruit trees and a native garden, but we didn’t know what was possible.”

The outdoor space that wraps around Vivian and Des’ unit is only 150 square meters. The narrow sides are jam-packed with raised and inground vegie beds, climbers up the wall, fruit trees and a lovely native corner. And the unit balcony is now being consumed by pot plants. “I really got into pot plants because I ran out of space, and I wanted more space.” The original planting was hedges of camelias, which were removed in favour of raised vegie beds with inbuilt sitting space. “The height was really important to make it easy for me to use, but also the indentations in the beds make it just so much easier to reach each bed,” says Vivienne of the raised beds which are netted and protected from local pests.

The raspberries are Des’ domain "he isn’t really interested in the rest of the garden, but he loves his raspberries. I call him my sous chef... he gives them tender loving care all year round,” says Vivienne. Des harvests about one punnet a day in the summer and has built the raspberry bed against a Rio mesh structure. Des says, “it’s a very narrow bed, so we have to work hard at keeping them contained.” Vivienne adds, “(raspberries) are invasive, you have to control them, they even pop up in vegetable beds.” To maximise their produce, they’re using all the vertical space. “The beans love it there with the sun. And I discovered you can grow cucumbers vertically, so that’s been a great success,” says Vivienne. This garden has identified and utilised every microclimate that is available. Even the tomatoes are nestled up against a northeast-facing wall, soaking up the warmth.

Vivienne says, “it was one of my dreams to have a Tassie native garden... it’s a lovely place to come for quiet time” and is inspired by the variety of native flowers, perfumes and the symbiotic relationship between plants and birds. “Even just the smell of the leaves, there’s just nothing like it” says, Vivienne. The garden includes Banksia marginata, leptospermums, Pomaderris, Allocasuarina, low growing correas and a Eucalyptus caesia all designed in a layered wild planting for maximum impact and seclusion.

With tips on how to best use a small space for gardening, Vivienne says, “one of the crucial things is the orientation of the property, to maximise the sun. The other is spacing, and most important of all, grow what you want to eat. The things that you love are what you need to grow, it’s life-giving. I love getting out in the garden, I love watching it evolve... I can disappear into this space for hours and feel a lot better at the end of it.” It's important with limited space like this to do some planning around the amount of soil and sun you have, and to choose the right size plants so you can have easy access. And if you do happen to have a few failures along the way, don't worry. You’re still another step towards garden glory.

[ayermite]

T-01-112 | The Rhea-Like Doll

Made an abno page for Nugget, so if you're interested you can read it all under the cut ( /// • ω • /// )

Risk Level: ZAYIN

Qliphoth Counter: 5

PE-Box Output: 10 (0-1: Bad, 2-5: Normal, 6-10: Good)

Work Type Preferences: Attachment > Insight > Instinct > Repression

Attack Type: N/A

Damage Type Resistances: 

Red: Resistant White: Endured Black: Normal Pale: Weak (For Ruina) Slash: Normal Pierce: Fatal Blunt: Ineffective

Appearance: A small, pudgy, basic looking doll with beady eyes and a double curved mouth that does not open. While it can take on the appearance of any employee, it will often default to one named Rhea.

Staaaaaaare

Behaviour and Abilities

The Doll’s Qliphoth counter will reduce by 1:

When obtaining a bad work result

If the employee who cumulatively performed the greatest number of Attachment work on it fails to perform work after 120 seconds. The employee in question can perform any type of work, just as long as it is done within the time limit

If it fails to perform work on an Abnormality when given orders to

The Doll will befriend an employee if they perform attachment work on it for a consecutive total of three times. After the third time, it will take on the employee’s current appearance (minus the facial features). The Doll will also take on 50% of the stats from the employee it grows attached to. 

If the employee in question changes their E.G.O. equipment and/or their appearance, the Doll will not change until after that employee performs work on it. Its respective stats will also change accordingly.

If there are two or more employees who performed the same amount of Attachment work, or if there are no employees who performed any Attachment work, the Doll will take on the appearance of the one who recently worked on it.

The Doll can be ordered to work on another Abnormality once one employee has performed Attachment work on it for a cumulative total of 10 times. If it succeeds, its Qliphoth counter will increase by 1, and it will return to its containment unit. If it fails, its Qliphoth counter will reduce by one instead.

Breaching

The Doll will travel around the facility in an unspecified direction. The employee who has performed the most Attachment work on the abnormality will unlock a new work order on its containment unit to retrieve the Doll. 

During this time, the employee will be unable to perform any other actions until it returns the Doll to containment. If they happen to die before this is done, the Doll will panic and run the rest of the way back to its containment regardless. 

If the employee who performed the most Attachment work on the Doll is in the middle of working on a different Abnormality, it will randomly enter another Abnormality’s containment unit and perform a random work type. If it fails, depending on the Abnormality, it will either be booted back to its containment unit (which resets the Qliphoth counter) or leave to go work on another Abnormality. If it succeeds, it will return to its containment unit and reset its Qliphoth counter.

Work rules and abilities of the Abnormalities it works on will still apply as normal, just as if you would order a lower-level employee to do work on them. :)

If the employee who performed the most Attachment work on the Doll dies before being able to return the Doll, the return order will be available for the next employee who worked on it the most, regardless of work type. This will be indicated by a symbol near their name. 

If there are two or more employees that performed the same amount of work on the Abnormality, the one that worked on it recently will be prioritized. Similarly, if there are no employees that the Doll made friends with when it breaches, it will default to the employee who performed the most work on the Abnormality. 

If no employees have worked on the Doll when it breaches, one will be chosen at random to perform the return order.

The Doll will not choose to work on item Abnormalities. Likewise, if the selected employee is performing work on an item Abnormality, it will not prompt the Doll to work on another Abnormality.

Suppression

While it cannot hurt employees, the Doll has a large HP pool of 15,000 and will thus be more tedious to properly suppress. Therefore, it is recommended to try to return it to its containment unit.

However, if the employee that performed the most Attachment work dies before they perform their return order, all of its damage resistance types change to weak.

Managerial Tips

When the Qliphoth counter reaches 0, the Doll will leave containment and start to wander around the facility.

When an employee finished work with a good result, the Doll’s Qliphoth counter still decreases after a certain period of time.

When employee was accidentally ordered to perform Repression work on the Doll instead of Attachment, its Qliphoth counter increased. 

The Doll left containment looking for , who was still performing work on another abnormality; it suddenly entered into another Abnormality’s containment unit and began working on it.

Only employee was able to convince the Doll to return to its containment unit.

Trivia

If there is an employee named Rhea present in the facility, they will take on the following effects for this Abnormality:

Will become a priority over all employees for the Doll, regardless of the work they perform on it

Will have an increased success rate when performing work on the Abnormality

Will override the Doll’s current appearance, regardless if they have worked on it or not

Will change the Doll’s expression when performing work

Upon death during a breach, the Doll’s damage resistances will become fatal, and its HP threshold will reduce by 50%

If an employee consecutively performs Attachment work seven times in one day, the Doll’s Qliphoth counter will automatically reach 0 and will pathfind its way towards the employee

If the employee is performing work on another Abnormality, it will wait outside the respective containment unit for them

Once it is within range of the employee, the Doll will attach itself to their face; this makes the employee unable to perform any kind of action for 60 seconds

There is no way to prematurely get rid of the Doll, even if the employee tries to return it to its containment unit

If the Doll’s containment unit is located in the Containment Team’s department, and is out of containment for over 5 minutes, Daemon will promptly arrive at the facility to personally punt it back to its unit

Upon being hit, the Doll will make squeaky toy noises

Flavour Text

“The Doll tilts its head curiously at .”

“The Doll wonders if will give it snacks.”

“The Doll stares at .”

“ wonders if the Doll even closes its eyes while sleeping.”

“ cautiously gives the Doll a chicken nugget to eat.”

“ cautiously gives the Doll a cracker to eat.”

“ watches the Doll devour a whole head of broccoli in one sitting.”

“ watches the Doll devour a whole bowl of tapioca balls in one sitting… including the bowl.”

“The Doll makes soft popping sounds while walking around the containment unit.”

“The Doll is happy to see again.”

“The Doll thinks that ’s outfit looks ‘cool.’”

“As soon as enters the containment unit, the Doll runs up to them for a hug.”

“The Doll wants to play with .”

Spoken when breaching

“Am bored. Gonna come out now.”

“Want out. Going out now.”

Spoken when encountering befriended employee

“Hello! Want snacks. Can have snacks?”

“Found ! Can play now?”

Spoken when deciding to randomly work on an abnormality

“Wanna help . Gonna help now.”

“ busy. Should help.”

Spoken when ordered to work on an abnormality

“Can help ? Okay.”

“For you? Okay.”

Spoken after work success

“Hooray!”

“Was helpful?”

Spoken after work failure

“Could do better.”

“Again! Again!”

“Uh oh.”

Flavour Text When Rhea is Present

“Unlike the other employees, the Doll seems really happy to see Rhea.”

“The Doll happily greets Rhea.”

“Rhea lightly pats the Doll on the head.”

“The Doll thinks that Rhea looks pretty.”

“The Doll listens to Rhea speak. It seems to be interested in what she has to say.”

“The Doll wants to share its food with Rhea.”

“Rhea makes mental preparations to run out of the containment unit before the Doll sticks to her like glue.”

“Rhea sighs upon seeing the Doll copy her appearance again.”

“Rhea wonders if the Doll can eat E.G.O. gifts… for reasons.”

“The Doll asks Rhea if she could stay a little longer.”

“The Doll calls Rhea its ‘best friend’. Rhea doesn’t know if she should be flattered or concerned.”

“The Doll wants to hug Rhea.”

Spoken when breaching

“Wanna see Rhea. Can see Rhea now?”

“Gonna visit Rhea!”

Spoken upon encounter

“Rhea! Like Rhea lots.”

“Found you. Hooray!”

Spoken when deciding to randomly work on an abnormality

“Rhea tired. Wanna help!”

“Rhea? Rhea? … Gonna go help Rhea.”

Spoken when ordered to work on an abnormality

“Can help now? Okay!”

“Snacks for helping? But… wanna be with Rhea…”

Spoken after work success

“Hooray! Can go back to Rhea now?”

“Work is done. Can have snacks?”

Spoken after work failure

“Ooh!”

“Rhea not happy…”

“Didn’t do anything.”

Spoken upon Rhea’s death

“Rhea… want Rhea…”

“... Rhea?”

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Much Ado About MOANA

Say it ain't so!

Walt Disney Pictures is working on a live-action "reimagining" of MOANA that will involve Dwayne Johnson himself, who of course voiced Maui in the original animated feature directed by Ron Clements and John Musker for Walt Disney Animation Studios and released in 2016.

As of now, the movie has three forthcoming extensions: This project, a land at Epcot in Walt Disney World, and an animated series being produced at WDAS (namely its recently-opened Vancouver unit) for Disney+.

I used to grouse to the moon and back about how much I detested much of these particular remakes and reimaginings of Disney's animated features and characters. You know, the ones made in the aftermath of Tim Burton's ALICE IN WONDERLAND throughout the 2010s, and even into now. I used to see them as something of a threat to animation's reputation, and they all came at us fast! MALEFICENT in 2014, CINDERELLA in 2015, THE JUNGLE BOOK (a largely CGI movie with one live actor and maybe like, 5 real-life plants) and ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS in 2016, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST in 2017, and a five-finger-punch of DUMBO, ALADDIN, THE LION KING, a MALEFICENT sequel, and LADY AND THE TRAMP in 2019... And then MULAN in 2020, CRUELLA in 2021, and PINOCCHIO this past year. Mixed in with these movies were a genuine new take on hybrid film PETE'S DRAGON and a legacy sequel to MARY POPPINS, MARY POPPINS RETURNS. Even Burton's ALICE, which got this whole ball rolling, was pretty much its own thing, ditto the 2016 sequel.

On the horizon? PETER PAN & WENDY, THE LITTLE MERMAID, SNOW WHITE, MUFASA: THE LION KING, BAMBI, THE SWORD IN THE STONE, a JUNGLE BOOK sequel, THE ARISTOCATS, ROBIN HOOD, THE CHRONICLES OF PRYDAIN (which the 1985 animated feature THE BLACK CAULDRON was adapted from), THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME, HERCULES, and LILO & STITCH. Now MOANA joins the ranks, the first all-CG animated Disney film to get the "live-action" treatment.

That's a ton of remakes in the span of almost 10 years, if we peg the actual start of this trend with 2014's MALEFICENT.

I think I've only seen... ALICE IN WONDERLAND, and THE JUNGLE BOOK, in full. I refused to watch the others. Back then it was out of protest and me just genuinely not being interested, nowadays? It's just the latter. These things aren't for me, and that's okay I guess. They haven't erased animation, nor did other recent "realistic" takes on animated classics, such as the 2017 GHOST IN THE SHELL movie with Scarlett Johansson. It hit me one day at my cinema job when THE LION KING was released. The Cinemark that I work at used to have a cart for movie merchandise, including things like T-shirts and Funko Pops and such. Most of the merchandise for the remakes that came out that year? Were for the animated originals... (I use the word loosely, but... You know what I mean!) I'd say it was an 85/15 ratio. Some stuff for the new remake, but mostly stuff for the classic animated movies that inspired them... It hit me... These are just over-glorified theatrical re-releases of the animated classics, made to move some merch and stuff at your local Hot Topic. It's kind of a weird transition from the way Disney used to keep their films in the public eye, whether it was a re-release cycle from the 1940s up until the mid-1990s, or their video releases being available for a limited time before being retired to the infamous "Disney Vault" (a ruthless marketing strategy thankfully put to rest with the arrival of Disney+ in 2019).

But in 2017-ish, I remember just being so goddamn grumpy about these things. Made worse by various directors, actors, and producers involved with the remakes making disparaging remarks about the classic movies for being... Well... **Animated**. Imagine that! The director of live-action BEAUTY AND THE BEAST declared that filming that story with real people gave it layers of psychological depth and nuance or some such bullshit. An actor on ALADDIN said almost verbatim the same exact thing. Disney stressed that their LION KING remake wasn't animated, even though the entire thing except a single shot was computer generated and "animated"! Then of course, several folks involved with the remakes making up nonsense about the princesses and heroines in the originals. We're seeing that now, even, with THE LITTLE MERMAID. Though these particular remarks about classic Disney heroines are nothing new, they remain nonetheless a bit irritating and proof that media literacy is lacking in many people. Then again, we do live in a world where people constantly parrot nonsense like "Batman is a rich guy who beats up poor people" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is about being bullied until you're useful to your bullies."

Some people just don't pay attention to what they watch, do they?

But really, the remakes come, make a lot of noise, often times make a crapton of money at the box office... And then they just... Disappear. Like, it was insisted that BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 2017 fixed the plot holes of the 1991 movie and was "darker", more "adult", whatever- Uhhh, I don't really feel its presence anymore, whereas the 1991 animated movie directed by Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale? Still here, still beloved, still holds up. I guess you could not outmode the dumb ol' kiddie cartoon, now could you? All that "darker" and "more psychology" talk is gimmicks at best, and most folks just kinda watch 'em because they saw the originals... and then that's it. It's a movie, it's a thing, it exists. You got what was on the tin: It's [insert Disney movie here], all over again!

This all being said... Now the CG movies are fair game, and possibly Pixar's some time in the future. It ain't just the 2D movies they're going after anymore. Look at Universal, they're readying a HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON live-action movie for 2025 with Dean DeBlois himself - director of all three of the animated DreamWorks HTTYD movies - at the helm! It's either going to be a straight-up live-action version of the DreamWorks adaptation released back in 2010, or it's going to be a whole new take on Cressida Cowell's book series. I hope it's the latter, honestly, then I might give it my attention.

To this day, many rightfully concerned folks still feel that these live-action/photorealistic remakes insult pure animation. Pure animation as in, animation that KNOWS it's animated. Straight-up cartoon or abstract. That Hollywood sees animated movies as but a "stepping stone" to superior live-action, but really... What I see is this... Money. People love an animated movie or show? Money. How many different coats of paint can we put on the car?

Some are asking... Why not just a MOANA sequel?

The weird thing about that is, Ron Clements and John Musker left Disney Animation. They were last seen developing a METAL MEN movie for Warner Animation Group. Of course, the directors being off on a new adventure doesn't mean anything in capitalism, Disney could plow ahead with a MOANA sequel if they wanted to. But they choose not to at the moment, only this and a D+ series. Kind of keeping in line with a history of not really making sequels in-house, and the days of outsourced direct-to-video fare has been loooooong over. (The remakes are often compared to the DTV sequels of the '90s and '00s, and for good reason. They're little more than brand extensions, and you can ex 'em out of the equation if you so choose to do so. Disney EU or Disney "Elseworlds" if you will...)

But what's actually seemingly upsetting is that... In the past few months, on the year of Disney's 100th anniversary... Most of the movie announcements have been nothing but continuations and brand extensions. They also serve as a nice distraction from needless layoffs, but yes... The big announcements have been things like TOY STORY 5, FROZEN III, ZOOTOPIA 2, Live-Action MOANA, etc. etc.

However, one ought to look closer. In-between all the franchisey stuff and synergetic things, there's still original movies being made... Like, there's not only 20th Century Studios continuing to make new live-action movies that aren't remakes or re-dos or new adaptations of books (y'all seen THE MENU and BARBARIAN last year? Great stuff! Highly recommended.), but you still have Pixar. From March 2020 to March 2022? Four straight original animated movies: ONWARD, SOUL, LUCA, TURNING RED. After spin-off LIGHTYEAR, we're getting ELEMENTAL in two months, ELIO in spring 2024, and presumably many more on the horizon.

Oh, but ELEMENTAL looks "mid", you say? "A parody of Pixar"? Or whatever else is being mindlessly parroted at the moment? Whatever, I don't know what to say to that, but like it or not, a movie like ELEMENTAL is the rare original movie from Disney, a small island in a sea of remakes, Marvel, and Star Wars. Ditto ELIO, and again, whatever is in the works after that that isn't a sequel.

And of course, Walt Disney Animation Studios, who have all but abandoned literary adaptations outside of public domain fairy tales, keeps up with original stuff, too. After releasing no new movies in 2017, two back-to-back sequels from 2018-2019 and taking 2020 off due to COVID-19 complications, they hit us with RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON, ENCANTO, and STRANGE WORLD. Next up is WISH, also an original story, despite the weird way it was presented and reported on at D23. Whatever releases after that, I do not know, but FROZEN III and ZOOTOPIA 2 aren't the only things in development there. Plus, they have partnered with Nigerian upstart studio Kugali to make an original show for Disney+ called IWAJU.

Much like the reception ELEMENTAL is getting online, a movie that isn't even out yet, a lot of the recent WDAS output and what's next is just being written off... But it's all there, it's original, it's a mere morsel of something coming out of the company that seems to be all about them brands. I'm not blaming audiences specifically for, say, STRANGE WORLD's epic floppage this past holiday season, buuuuut- Those numbers are looked at, and they possibly bring about consequences.

I do get the worries, though. Under former CEO Bob Chapek, we saw Pixar's originals post-ONWARD all go straight to streaming while franchise entry LIGHTYEAR hit the big screen... and lost money. WDAS movies had a hard time, too. RAYA did a day-and-date thing with Disney+ before most of the vaccine rollout, ENCANTO dealt with Delta and Omicron before being a huge hit at home, STRANGE WORLD was straight up left for dead after testing very poorly.

With Bob Iger back in charge, Chapek's strong pivot to streaming is being reversed, as it's being realized that streaming is not the be-all end-all of the movie world. And sharp eyes knew it never would be, either, but you know how things go in capitalism: New thing shows up, abandon everything for the new thing! Disaster! Hey, that's how hand-drawn animated features prematurely got the boot circa 2001. Anyways- Yes, Iger rearranged a lot of things, and now the release strategies and marketing campaigns are back in the hands of the studios and creatives, and I'm pretty sure that there's an effort, a commitment to make ELEMENTAL the first Pixar box office success in four years. That's right, the last Pixar movie to make its money back at the box office was... TOY STORY 4... Back in 2019... And you wonder why a fifth one was greenlit?

I'd imagine Iger saw how Chapek and co mandated Pixar to send TURNING RED straight to streaming, and knew what to do from there. Ditto how, on the WDAS front, STRANGE WORLD was just straight up abandoned. TURNING RED probably would've made ENCANTO or BAD GUYS numbers at best, which wouldn't have been enough for its hefty budget (Pixar needs to stop overspending on these things), but I wonder what's in store for ELEMENTAL. Few animated movies post-2020 have passed the $100m threshold domestically, and I feel that is due to how many trips to the movies families can afford a year. (Say the line, Kyle: In 2014, statistics showed that the average American family goes to the movies four times a y-) It's opening amidst a ton of blockbusters and other animated family movies, including Disney's own LITTLE MERMAID, and the fifth INDIANA JONES movie. Maybe movies should just be more affordable? And theaters, better places to sit down and see a movie? I can see why many just don't go anymore, again, having worked at a theater for 7 1/2 years (and ready to move on to something better).

Or better yet, Pixar and WDAS need not spend more than $150m on the movies that they make. DreamWorks, Illumination, Sony, et al. put out dynamic-looking movies that are rewriting the CG animation book for way less, WDAS and Pixar should probably consider that. Leave the tech-flexing to things like that LION KING remake and prequel, let their animated movies experiment and have fun again. But even movies they don't seem to be flexing tech cost so much. Why, though? I know in California, these things are expensive, but DreamWorks is based out of California, too. I guess that Moonray software they themselves created and other solutions have gotten their movies to cost less than $100m each time out. Well, WDAS opened their Vancouver unit, so maybe they can up them to feature status? Like they did with the defunct Florida unit way back when? Split the effort with Vancouver, lower the cost? I dunno, just spit-balling here.

Basically, I don't want ELEMENTAL and WISH to come up short at the box office. Or any of the original stuff coming out, period. Again, WDAS, Pixar, and 20th Century/Searchlight are like Disney's last outlets for that kind of stuff on the movie end of things. 20th is fine and good, because in small-scale live-action, most of the time the studios know how to be smart with budgets. $150m budgets make the average WDAS and Pixar movie a risk, that they have to get on the stage and essentially perform like a Marvel movie just to break even! That's a lot to ask of an original animated movie! And not even the WDAS name nor the Pixar name can guarantee people will show up, both have had their fair share of flops. And now, judging by how ANT-MAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA is doing, the Marvel name ain't a guarantee anymore either. Ditto Star Wars, remember how SOLO just sorta existed at the box office and lost a lot of money? TV and elsewhere is a different story, of course, there's plenty of original stuff to choose from there.

MOANA Live-Action is likely being made to fund the fun cool stuff, much in the same way sequels help fund originals. They... Pay the bills, shall we say.

In other words, I'm just indifferent. Whatever. Tell me more about the original stuff coming out, and you'll have my ear.

[vr-trakowski]

I’ve been seeing a lot of fic and fic ideas set in the 1980s show up on my dash lately.  It’s great stuff!  But every so often I (as someone who lived through that decade) trip over an anachronism.  It happens frequently in writing - if you weren’t there, or then, sometimes you just can’t see the error.  I used to do it all the time when I was writing stuff set in Britain.  

So in the interest of accuracy regarding the United States in the ‘80s, let me just say:

Gel pens didn’t make it to the U.S. until 1989.  They weren’t sparkly, either, sorry.  There were cool paint pens that drew in various colors outlined with silver - they had to be shaken like spray paint cans, with pleasantly rattly ball bearings inside.  They dried up at the slightest provocation, though.

Other things that are out of period:

Earbuds.  They did exist, but they weren’t at all common.  Headphones were the big over-the-ear kind, or cheap ones on flimsy metal bands with foam caps.  Mono vs. stereo was a big thing.  If your headphone wires started to wear out, or the jack on your device started to go, you might end up getting sound in only one ear.  Also, those foam caps wore through really quickly, and the metal earphone part hurt.  

Also, you might have a Walkman that played cassette tapes, but transistor radios were out of fashion by then.  Boomboxes were a thing, but people didn’t really use headphones with them.  

Multiple phone numbers for one house.  This was possible, but very rare.  More likely someone had a phone jack in their room that was part of the house phone line, so anyone picking up another handset elsewhere in the house could listen in on the conversation (or join it).  

Also, unless you were calling long-distance, you wouldn’t have used an area code.  Long-distance calls were expensive, and were often planned so that no time would be wasted.  Pre-purchased phone cards came into common use, and there were public pay phones all over the place.  A local payphone call in the late ‘80s probably cost 25 cents.  

Crop tops - sort of.  They were much more common on boys than girls, unless the girls were wearing athletic outfits (over a leotard, for instance).  

Bottled water.  Designer/fizzy water, such as Perrier, was available, but otherwise nope.  Reusable water bottles weren’t available, either.  Thermoses were common, like the kind that came in lunchboxes, but the only people who carried water were hikers, and they used canteens.  Find a water fountain, or buy a soda.  Occasionally people would fill up a soda bottle and carry that around, but again, not often.

Energy drinks.  Gatorade was a thing, but it only came in one flavor.  

String lights - at least the kind that are currently popular.  Christmas tree light strings were available in stores around the holiday, but using them the rest of the year as decoration wasn’t a trend, and they would have been finicky and slightly dangerous (due to the heat of the bulbs).  

Things that did exist:

Neon colors!  These came into popularity in the late 1970s and were part of the clothing trends for some time - especially for jocks and athletic types.  Also animal prints!  Leopard spots in particular.  Terrycloth sweatbands for heads and wrists.  Massively puffy jackets for girls.  Leg warmers.  

Digital watches.  The calculator watch was a huge hit.  Also Swatches.  Look them up, the colors were incredible.  

Multiple ear piercings, running from the lobe up through the shell of the ear.  Mostly girls, except for punks.  Boys might have one earring, but it wasn’t common.  Outside of cultural traditions, facial piercings were considered very radical.  

Bookstores were much more common.  The local mall would have had one, B. Dalton/Waldenbooks/Crown Books, and a decent-sized town would probably also have had at least one used bookstore somewhere.  The prices were much cheaper, and while quality-sized paperbacks existed, most popular titles were hardcover and/or mass-market paperback only.  Bookstores also sold a limited selection of porn magazines, discreetly blocked off at the top of the magazine display.  

Trapper Keepers!  Sticker collections (particularly for the younger crowd) - the range of stickers available for purchase was huge.  The original My Little Ponies, but also Cabbage Patch Kids, Gremlins, Care Bears, Pound Puppies.  Rubik’s Cube, and similar puzzles.  Star Wars toys (no SW Legos yet).  Hot Wheels track setups.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Quad rollerskates, but not inlines.  Mittens that changed color when the temperature dropped.  Underoos!  

[crystalelemental]

Unit Viability Speculation - Eeveelutions

Okay, let me preface what will be said below this.  I hate this.  Why are they limited?  Apparently they did get 1.5% rates after all, but like...these units do not feel anywhere near Pokefair level, so why are they limited?  They’re limited, and not even with a 10% 5* rate, just 7%?  And why are they introduced as a cluster?  What if you only want one?  It just kinda sucks, is all.

Unfortunately they nailed it because Kris is here.  With the worst Eeveelution, but I did want an alternative for Electric-types.

All of them operate similarly.  One-bar spam, status thing, three-bar AoE, trainer move that boosts one stat just for them and another for the team, sets field effect for their type on sync, debuff centric passive that makes the AoE good, Synchro Healing on grid.  I actually like the structure a lot.  I just wish this wasn’t such a mess.

Lucas and Flareon...I said I wasn’t gonna be pissy.  Flareon’s my favorite, I notoriously don’t like the male protags, I’m not happy, but the unit itself is okay.  Raises his own crit, raises team special attack, not bad at all friend.  He also prevents all status conditions under Sun, which...not gonna lie, pretty poggers of you, kid.  SS Morty loves that shit.  He gets Solar Sync 5 and Brainpower (Seriously, if Caitlin doesn’t get this on expansion...), and his debuffs are attack/special defense.  So he is Lucian-esque.  But worse.  Lucian has the benefit of only thriving off sync, which combos beautifully with his Growl spam, which is not just debuffs but growing speed buffs for gauge control, all in a one-bar move.  Lucas, comparatively, needs 3-bars per move, has no speed control, and desperately needs to set up his own offenses given the team support effect in it.  Lucas and Flareon are a worse Lucian if you consider them solely by debuffs, but the wide range of effects, including setting Sun and providing team immunity to status while under Sun, makes him an interesting pick.  Notably, SS Morty goes great with this guy, packing Sun, defense boosts for the team, and best of all, speed control that Lucas otherwise lacks.  This legitimately isn’t too bad.

Lyra gets Fake Tears as her status, and can debuff accuracy with Muddy Water as her AoE.  Trainer move raises her special attack, and team speed, which is very nice.  She prevents crits under Rain, which is incredible I think, and her debuff is to speed, so there’s another savior for F2P Cakewalk users.  What’s odd is that, unless I’m misreading, Lyra focuses on attack and speed debuffs, but her multipliers are based on lowering special defense.  I’m not sure how it connects, I may be missing something, but I’m running out of time.  The overall is I think she’s worse than Lucas.

My girl Kris.  She buffs her own special attack, and team’s crit rate.  Baller.  Kris sets Electric Terrain each sync, eat shit NY!Volkner, and prevents stat drops.  It’s...less useful than the other two.  The debuff is to a foe’s evasiveness, which is...a choice.  It’s the least useful by a mile.  Until you realize the grid debuff is special attack.  We have ourselves another Cresselia counter, lads.  This is Budget SC Rosa.  She’s not strictly bad, but like...look, we just had the most insane powercreep on Electric-types.  If you got Red and Ash, do not bother.  Hell, with N getting 5/5 grid, do not bother.  But I really like Kris, and am decisively underwhelmed by the rest of the month, so I might.  Do not weep for me, friends.  I did this to myself.

Lucas is de-facto the best of the three.  His debuffs are actually useful in every capacity.  Lyra’s super niche and seems to need the most help, while Kris isn’t intrinsically bad, but is niche and locked to Cress counter status and may not even be that good at it.  Given the awful rates, the lack of anything new, and the fact that even their best underperforms compared to a permanently available general pool unit, do not pull on this.  It sucks.

[nofaprecoverygary]

Aliens ROMULUS 08/20th Tuesday

When we took to finding seating in the next door movie theater there was no obstant to agreeing we wanted to see the New Prometheus adaptation. Which included two front row seats in Theater Number 12 for the One Doby Atomos Presentation. 

Having never seen the film, I was discreetly taken back by the shuttle space camp, that employed teenagers in an Aushwitz style labor camp and the personification of the main character a girl, and her special needs brother in relation. The rest of the cast took the interesting of accent speaking in United Kingdom chit chat and the prospect to leave this alien planet in the search of engine parts in some remote plan of escape. The cast seemed to me, to hold incredible competency in the use of the technologies that the space camp had required of them, and many of the diversity on the ship held the use of skill when pressing the buttons on the displays. I was also taken back by the limited cast. When done a total go of five people only within the interactions in an abandoned laboratory that had attempted to study in an alternate space year. Many of the more disturbing graphical adaptations of pain were depicted within the astronauts with the use of a horrific acts. 

The connection of a young man from Jordan had also placed the plot in  a simple almost too simple sequence in which by flash drives one could alter the personality of robot Hildren in way the main character did when removing and aggregated a space cylinders memory from the side of the neck. The many adaptations or stunts also included a running away from danger and the perpetual locked door scenario. I was distinctly taken back also on the psychological aspects of distrust between the cast. As many of them in variable turned agains each other.  The THX Atomos background affects also made one feel insurable attacked in the scenes where the smaller space creatures in preganated  or searched for available hosts. With more and more of a fusion between a halloween haunted slumber party, and the aliens holding the initial antagonists of Homicide. The last chapter of the Movie depicting a half human half alien that in scientific explanation had the lack of SANS Rational and Irrational Syndrome  Scale to deploy heinous graphical rated R, in the Diversity of the cast. 

The Psychological prospects Aswell in the language coming from the youth on the presentations adepts up from shots in which what they where  saying was focused in an in-depth capture of not just their faces but there emotions. In which parrable was the main methods of gathering the footage for the animation. Aliens Romulus set in a Saturn Space ring forgotten mother ships with both a left and right wing. 

[just6f]

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[majorprojectalex]

WORKING ON THE PLANNING FOLDER

At this point in time I have been working on the planning Folder the major project.

That involved mostly determining what assets I need to have made by the end of the course and creating a Gantt chart in order to determine by when each of those assets needs to be done.

I found it kind of difficult determining how much art I wanted to make by the end of the project and how much would be realistically possible, but I think I managed to create a list of assets that would be feasible, as well as good enough for a promotional video.

The assets include:

Characters Designs

Newt Detective: Ideation, Final Concept, Character Sprites

Miracle Clam Design: Ideation, Final Concept,

Clam’s Assistant: Ideation, Final character design.

Props Design

Design of the Magic trick: Ideation, Final Design

Design of the props/ clues for magic trick.

Environment Design

Cave Map Design: Ideation, Final Design

Main Cave Hall: Ideation, Final Concept (low tides)

UI Design (Ideation and final concepts)

Wishlist

Character Sprites for Clam, and Assistant

Character designs (+ Sprites) for the rest of the cast

Environment animations (e.g., water dripping from cave)

Additional Environments (+Main Hall with Hight tides)

And I also hope to be able to produce a playable demo of my game concept, but that might be too big of a scope of the project.

Making a Gantt Chart really helped me, as it made it easier to determine how many assets would be feasible in the timespan that I have.

I also had to identify the target audience. Which made me think more about what type of people the final product would appeal to. When thinking about my game I realized that it would fit the cosy game niche pretty well, so it would be good to try and appeal to that market, as well as the market of visual novel gamers.

I also had to look at the learning outcomes required of me for the unit and determine how I will demonstrate each of them. Which was pretty helpful for getting more familiar with what is required of me to do well in the module.

Unrelated to the planning folder I also wanted to mention some of the independent preparation that I did for this project. Since I knew that the environment I would be working on would be a cave, I decided to use my 2 week break before the beginning of the unit to do a research trip and visit some of the UKs. One of the cave's that I found was Fingal's cave in Scotland. It seemed perfect for the project, as it in the sea, and it has really unique and interesting rock formations.

However, unfortunately with the limited time I had to plan the trip, and the cost of the train tickets, I had to aim for somewhere closer. So I decided to go to Cornwall. The main caves that I wanted to see there, where merlin's cave and Hollywell cave, and there was also a smaller cave with a carving of a woman and a horse that I thought could be good to visit. Unfortunately because of the Tides I wasn't able to visit Merlin's cave, but I was able to visit Hollywell cave and the cave with the horse carving and take some refference pictures of the cave and rocks.

Here are some of the pictures that I took

While some are not super clear, being there had already started giving me ideas about the backgrounds, and having the pictures could help remind me of the thoughts, feelings ect I had at the time, if I'm ever stuck during the background stage

Bibliography:

Fingal’s cave, a unique caves with mysterious voice (no date) Traveldiggcom. Available at: https://traveldigg.com/fingals-cave-a-unique-caves-with-mysterious-voice/ (Accessed: 23 August 2023).

[mark6f]

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[trustdog]

Call of duty black ops zombies apk 4 shard

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Call of Duty Vanguard pc games usually benefits. Corner or in the possibility of resting the weapon on the elements on the ground. Automatic “gluing” of the barrel to the frame when looking from behind. The advantage is certainly in the arrangements in the style of the. It is no different with the recoil and the behavior of the weapon (rifles without accessories look great). Here we have an equally dynamic feeling of speed and fluidity of movement, the TTK (time to kill) also seems to be as lightning fast. The rest is largely a copy of Modern Warfare’s latest installment, which should come as no surprise given that the games run on the same engine. However, are not all that is provided for multiplayer. In contrast, Gavutu’s map, located on an island in the Pacific, with its narrow open-air passages, reminded me of Pointe du Hoc from Call of Duty: WWII. It was only the streets of Stalingrad with a little more space that made the difference. I felt like I wasn’t changing the location, only the scenery itself – and maybe thanks to that, the developers managed to make up to 20 maps for the premiere. That the Eagle Nest mountain fortress and the French Hotel Royale seem identically designed – with expansive interiors in the center of the map and a rather sparse environment around them. On the other hand, I didn’t like the fact

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Game Free Call of Duty Vanguard comes to us to observe the gameplay from a first person perspective (FPP). Over time, their destinies intertwine and together they form the first special forces unit in history, and their task is to stop the mysterious Operation “Project Phoenix”. In service at Stalingrad American pilot Wade Jackson of the Sixth Reconnaissance Squadron, participating in the Battle of Midway, and Australian Lucas Riggs of the 20th Battalion, one of the so-called Tobruku Rats are fighting in North Africa.

Call of Duty Vanguard – requirements are as follows.

On the other hand, I didn’t like the fact.

Apart from the general impression of an “entertainment replay”,.

[acetrainermags]

Pokémon Adventures: A Childhood Obsession

In 2006, I received a consolation birthday present of a GameBoy Advance, the flat kind that didn't have backlight and was powered by AA batteries. My brother had just been given a GameBoy Advance SP and a brand-new game based on the animated film Cars for his birthday. My parents, in their infinite wisdom, knew I shouldn't be left out of the fun. Thus, I was given a hand-me-down GameBoy Advance with a used copy of Pokémon Sapphire.

A GameBoy Advance very similar to the one I grew up with. (Image via Wikimedia Commons)

Sometimes, I wonder if my parents regretted it.

You see, that gift - which was likely an afterthought, let's be real - kicked off what would become a years-long obsession with Pokémon. I had no idea what I was getting into when I turned that game on for the first time, but I eagerly selected my first Pokémon (a Mudkip I naturally nicknamed "ABBY" as any young girl ought to do) and began my adventure.

Unfortunately, my copy of Pokémon Sapphire has since been lost to time, but Pokémon remained a formative part of my childhood. I loved battling my neighborhood friends, comparing trading cards, and huddling around the TV to watch the latest VHS tape I'd picked up from the library.

Another thing you should know about me is that when I enjoy something, I'm all in. Pokémon was not an exception: I devoured every bit of media and lore I could find. I entertained myself by reading pages on Bulbapedia and Serebii, two of the best reference websites for the franchise.

This was how I was introduced to the franchise's manga adaptation, Pokémon Adventures. The series, also known as Pokémon Special or "PokéSpe" for short, only had a few volumes available in the United States at the time. Still, I devoured every bit of information I could about the story and its expansive cast of characters. I'd always been a voracious reader, and when you combined that with my favorite video games, Pokémon Adventures seemed perfect or me.

But like I said, at the time there were only a handful of volumes available in the United States, where I lived. The ones that were available were nearly impossible to find in your typical Barnes & Noble. So I did what any other self-respecting Child of the Internet would do in the late 2000s: I found an alternative. And that's all I'll say about that.

A few years later, U.S. publisher Viz Media finally decided to start bringing the rest of the series stateside. With the limited cash that an unemployed 12-year-old had, I stared my own collection. This included one volume (vol. 14) purchased from a "going out of business" sale at a Borders bookstore and another (vol. 7) from the gift shop in the Japan area of Disney World's Epcot. Why I remember this, I have no idea.

The two Pokémon Adventures volumes I've owned the longest. They're a little worse for wear, but I treasure them.

Now I'm an adult... in a loose sense of the word. Pokémon still remains one of my favorite interests, and it remained a great way to connect with others. I met some of my favorite people in college through a Pokémon Go group chat, where we would alert each other when rare creatures spawned on campus (shout out to GoCast, you know who you are).

My manga collection has also grown. I was finally able to collect all of my favorite volumes from my childhood, up through the "sixth chapter" or story arc of the series (vol. 29). I take one off the shelf to read occasionally, especially when I need a "comfort read" to make myself feel better. However, I haven't read the series chronologically since my childhood.

I decided to change that this year. I mean, I've already got all of the books, so why not?

That leads us to this blog. After spending four years as an English major in college, I picked up the habit of marking up my books. I know, I know. Such scandal. Unfortunately, manga and graphic novels don't really lend themselves to this process. I just can't bring myself to mark up the beautiful artwork with my terrible handwriting.

But I still wanted to engage with this story like I would any other. Originally, I just planned to share my occasional observation or joke on Twitter, like I did when I read Fullmetal Alchemist in 2020. However, the more I read, the more I realized I had a lot to say about Pokémon Adventures.

It's easy to be cynical and say that the Pokémon Adventures manga is just another cog in the marketing machine with a singular goal in mind: to get people to buy Pokémon games and merchandise. While that is probably true at some level, I find that Pokémon Adventures goes beyond that by having complex characters, engaging plotlines, and clever ways of integrating existing Pokémon lore into a different medium. The series creators - writer Hidenori Kusaka and artists Mato (vol. 1-9) and Satoshi Yamamoto (vol. 10 onward) - aren't just concerned with promoting the Pokémon franchise, they also want to tell a good story.

Satoshi Yamamoto (left) and Hidenori Kusaka (right), the current artist and writer behind the Pokémon Adventures manga. Image via Bulbapedia.

I'm not sure where this reading journey will take me. At first, I thought about writing a post about every single chapter as I read it. Then I realized I would be writing at least 300 posts just to get through my personal collection. Then I wanted to write about each volume, but Tumblr only allows 10 images per post, and that's not enough for me.

All this to say, I'll be posting about the chapters in chunks, with a wrap-up after each volume and story arc and the occasional "extra" post if I want to write more in-depth about something in particular.

Some things will be lighthearted, like a bizarre reference to Tom Sawyer in vol. 1, implying that Mark Twain exists in the Pokémon universe. Others will be more serious and analytical. For example, I can't wait to talk about the character of Giovanni, arguably one of the most recognizable villains in the Pokémon franchise.

In any case, it will be an adventure (see what I did there?), and I'm delighted to take you along with me. Our journey starts at the beginning, with a boy named Red in a place called Pallet Town.

[authenticparanoidghosts]

i know you've analyzed the endings to hell and back at this point but what are your thoughts on how they do the ending with florence reuniting with her father in the 2018 Kennedy Center script? personally i think it was executed a bit poorly but with work maybe could have resonated better, especially with how brutal the rest of that version is.

also thank you for like. feeding the fandom these past few days i love these analysis'

oh man I would LOVE to talk about this, but I need to preface it with some caveats:

I have never watched a full production of Chess that wasn't an old concert version (free on youtube) or the 2003 Chess concert with prepubescent Josh Groban (also free on youtube)

the albums I'm familiar with are the original concept album, Chess in Concert from 2009, and the original Broadway cast recording

this is because:

I live in the middle of the United States, where no version of Chess has ever been

I'm not paying for this. unless someone has a dvd of that Moscow production, in which case I would be willing to negotiate

the very limited (and HYPOTHETICAL, in case anyone is a cop) access I have to theater bootlegs does not include any versions of Chess and I'm not savvy enough to figure out where I'd even begin looking for them

so any interaction with alternate productions of Chess comes down to me, the wikipedia entry for Chess (musical), and a dream. I have not seen more than the publicly available trailer for the 2018 Kennedy Center production. I have vague memories of reading a review article about it months and months ago (in a fit of envy) and laughing the whole time because yes, of course, the reviewer was obviously right to slam Chess in general for being "convoluted" and also this specific production for being three hours long. after you sent this question, I got the right series of search terms into google to find a decent summary of the song order + events, so this is basically my immediate reaction to that.

“I won’t need a read more. I’m better than a read more. I can read this summary and edit whatever I have to say about it down into something succinct and rational.” okay, liar.

now, to business: I would love to see the Kennedy Center version. this is, frankly, an insane version of Chess. I love that it pokes around and tries to settle itself in with actual historical events. yes, baby, turn that Cold War dial up to eleven- I promise I DO want to hear exposition about real-life events. I like that they try to use Walter (Walter. christ. there's a lot to say about Walter) in a way that actually makes sense. there are definitely some issues with the script (way too much happens, the players have too much power, etc.), but at the very least I'm genuinely interested in a lot of the creative choices they made.

here's my take on Mr. Vassy once again: the stakes in the Kennedy Center version are so high that him being secretly alive the whole time gets immediately overshadowed, so at least it doesn't feel like an implausible pull. if he's out there for real, it might as well be in this story. but also, if we break the whole script into carrot and stick, literally every other attempt at manipulation from Walter and Molokov is stick. "the last guy who lost to Trumper died" - stick. "Florence will get deported if Freddie wins" - stick. "if you say the wrong thing on international television/win this chess game/defect from Russia, the SALT II talks will dissolve (and the world might end)" - stick. "if you don't return to Russia, your children will be given to an orphanage and your wife will die" - stick. "if Anatoly wins, there will be nuclear war (and the world WILL end)" - STICK.

throwing in Mr. Vassy's release from prison as the only carrot in the entire story is a total left turn. they’re obviously including it because it’s a Chess staple, but the writer can clearly tell that it's absolutely the wrong tone to start promising the characters "wins" because he immediately backs up and in the very next song hits you with "actually, Mr. Vassy will DIE if Anatoly doesn't lose and come back to Russia. the KGB will KILL him AND Svetlana." which is, obviously, insane. but at least death threats fit with the established energy of this show. it's weird, though. it's a weird moment to promise that Florence can actually have her father back as the only bribe in the entire story. maybe it'd play fine if Walter and Molokov had tried some bribery and coercion before, but Danny Strong and Michael Mayer are fucking determined to play hardball, so it just really sticks out.

honestly, they could have gotten away with just threatening to kill him. there shouldn't be a "you can get him back if you do [x]" moment. commit to your bit, Dan and Mike. Florence, we have your father and we're going to kill him. your move.

now we (me) have to (I get to) talk about timing a little bit. 

the Kennedy Center production brings in the Florence’s Dad subplot after You and I, just before they approach Florence and Anatoly with the offer in The Deal (No Deal), similar or identical to what the West End version does. when you introduce the idea that Florence’s dad is alive in the second half of the second act, in the middle of The Deal (No Deal), the audience is primed not to believe it. or, maybe they’re willing to buy in, but it’s explicitly clear that the Russians offering him up is a gambit to convince Florence to pressure Anatoly to give in to whatever it is Molokov is demanding. the established pattern is that other characters only bring up Florence’s family history to manipulate her. this means that when you get the turn at the end where he may not even be alive, the audience can go “oh, of course it was too good to be true” along with Florence. we all should have known better, and some of us probably did.

if he really is alive, it’s fucking nuts to pepper that in so late in the show. I obviously don’t have access to the Kennedy Center script or anything, but I can only hope that he’s mentioned in the dialogue in the first act. otherwise, if you're going to show the audience what the Russians have in their bag of tricks for negotiating with Second Act Anatoly as early as One Night in Bangkok, why don't you just bring up Florence's father then? waiting all the way until You and I for Molokov to even mention him is nuts. you could at least say something like “...and we’re looking for an angle on his mistress. I’ve got someone trying to dig up some family history.” while you’re chatting with Svetlana about how you’re going to have her killed. let her spook Anatoly about the government coming after him AND his girlfriend. 

the very idea of Mr. Vassy shows up SO LATE in the show that it doesn't hit an emotional note. so much is happening that when they do this second act "alive dad" pull, it reads as pure manipulation. you have no idea whether or not Florence's father is alive or if she even cares, and all of sudden someone is promising to deliver him to her? ...in the version of Chess where up until now the most pleasant thing any government has offered you is deportation? the Broadway version at least figured out that they needed to pepper in the father stuff from the beginning for him to feel like a real possibility. (which, in turn, makes it feel like a real win for Florence when she gets him back in the revision. this is something she genuinely wants that will honestly make her happy.)

THAT SAID: this does actually feel like a story where Anatoly very much does have enough clout to negotiate for the release of Florence’s father. they’ve basically just turned the faceless hostage exchange plot into “Anatoly trades himself for Mr. Vassy” which I do like.

overall I think I would have preferred for this particular story to end on the vague “he might be alive” note. that’s more attractive to me in this super harsh version of Chess because it reveals that some of the manipulations from Walter and Molokov were smoke and mirrors, which is infinitely more interesting in this script where you get to see them plotting and threatening literally from scene one. would they really have killed Svetlana? ...just how critical were those chess games to world politics? how much of the tension was real? did we all let ourselves get carried away because of the atmosphere of nuclear armageddon? could add a fun “parts of the Cold War were irrational and parts of it were real and very, very frightening and you can’t tell which is which until you have the benefit of hindsight” thing.

[alwaysmychoices]

Retirement Talks

Synopsis: Charlie decides to return to Edenbrook to meet Kyra for lunch, but little did she know that a scandal has rocked the hospital. During lunch, secrets on all sides are revealed - some of which make Charlie question if she should leave medicine altogether. 

Chapter 25 of the “with and without” series

Previous Series: “a weekend with dr. ramsey”

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)

Words: 5.8k

Rating: Teen 

Also available on AO3 & Wattpad (link in Masterlist)

Charlie was back in Edenbrook.

Not by her own desire, of course.

It was her therapist’s idea. She thought visiting Edenbrook would help Charlie so she could see it without the looming threat of a bioterrorist attack or meeting Ethan’s estranged mother. Her therapist hoped that it would ease Charlie’s anxiety and show her that Edenbrook really was just a building at the end of the day.

Not some evil place full of death and destruction. Even if it housed her most painful memories, those were just memories. She couldn’t fault the building itself.

She needed to stop fearing Edenbrook. If she didn’t, she could never return to Edenbrook.

Those were easy things to say – very appealing in its rationality.

But if it was just a building, it was a building haunted. The halls were lined with ghosts of memories long gone, seemingly forgotten by all but Charlie. All the hope and innocence she saw on her first day was replaced with stinging bitterness. She was afraid of what Edenbrook would take from her next.

She didn’t want to be here.

She probably would have left if she hadn’t made lunch plans with Kyra – who, of course, was late.

It had already been fifteen minutes since they’d initially planned to meet, and Charlie saw no sign of Kyra showing up any time soon. Charlie initially waited in the lobby, but after a text from Kyra that said she was stuck in an emergency staff meeting, Charlie moved to Kyra’s office to wait in privacy.

It was easier to wait there. Charlie had very few memories in the administrative wing of the hospital – even fewer negative ones. There were also fewer onlookers in Kyra’s office, and Charlie didn’t want to be stared at. Besides, Kyra kept snacks in her desk, and Charlie was starving.

This wasn’t the first time Charlie had stolen from Kyra’s snack drawer, so when she walked in, she knew exactly where it was.  A few months ago, lunches like these were regular occurrences. Then secrets – primarily Charlie’s relationship with Ethan – started to separate her from her friends, little by little. Most of her spare time was taken from her friends and immediately dedicated to the intoxicating and less than honorable pursuit of falling in love with Ethan Ramsey.

Charlie had been lying for a very long time.

Two months of her relationship – almost three. Even longer if she counted the build-up.

Her friends allowed it. She wasn’t sure why, but as she stole a Twizzler from Kyra’s desk, she had the distinct feeling that she didn’t deserve it.

Just before Charlie could lose herself in the depths of guilt and a dizzying inner monologue, her companion finally appeared.

20 minutes late, not that Charlie or her grumbling stomach were counting.

“Twizzlers, thank God,” Kyra skipped the pleasantries, instead making a beeline for her friend and the snacks in her hands. Kyra took a handful from the snack drawer and waited until she’d chewed through at least one before turning to Charlie.

Kyra looked amazing.

Particularly for being on death’s door only a month earlier.

Charlie wished she had been there for more of the recovery. After finding out Kyra survived the surgery, they had an emotional moment, and they frequented each other’s room in the hospital. But after the memorial service, Charlie and Ethan left town, and Charlie struggled once she returned to Boston.

During that time, Charlie visited Raf and Kyra. Sometimes, seeing them was the only time she left her apartment. But Kyra was the strongest of all of them – to no one’s particular surprise. Kyra returned to work within only a few weeks, and with Raf and Kyra still on leave, they primarily heard from her via text or rambling phone calls where Kyra shared hospital gossip they didn’t understand.

Looking at Kyra and Charlie, you could tell that one of them almost died, but you’d think it was Charlie, not Kyra. Kyra was stylish and trendy with high heels, a freshly shaved head, and a new series of gold ear piercings to celebrate her successful surgery. She oozed effortless coolness and accentuated it with a devilish smile everyone adored.

Charlie, on the other hand, hadn’t bounced back so smoothly. She’d dressed for the snow by picking up a pair of jeans she hadn’t washed in over a week, and coupled with her anxious expression, her style that usually read as classic and laidback seemed boring and stiff.

Or at least that was what Charlie felt like in comparison.

“Everything okay?” Charlie asked, claiming another Twizzler for herself as she settled comfortably on the edge of Kyra’s desk.

“Just the hospital freaking out,” Kyra grumbled, digging through her snack drawer for something else. She didn’t seem satisfied with any of her options, so she settled on a pack of fruit gummies from the bottom of the drawer.

“About what?” Charlie’s interest was piqued, though she tried to keep her tone casual. After staying home for so long, she couldn’t help but be intrigued.

“Another crisis,” Kyra evaded her, “Which isn’t helping the dire financial straits the hospital was already in.”

“Oh… Are you sure you can still get lunch today?”

“Are you kidding!” Kyra’s eyes widened as if horrified by the idea of a cancellation, “After all that, I need lunch. Let’s get out of the hospital and actually go somewhere good.”

Kyra wanted to get Charlie out of the hospital. Something about her eagerness to do made Charlie suspicious but not enough so that she would push it further. She was so eager to leave – despite her therapist’s suggestions – that she quickly accepted the proposal.

“Sounds perfect,” Charlie agreed.

After only a few moments of discussion, they decided to go to a restaurant within walking distance. Despite its close proximity, it was unpopular with Edenbrook workers because it was notorious for slow service, a recipe for disaster for short lunch breaks. Charlie, who had nowhere else to be for the rest of the day, didn’t mind. Kyra, who regularly extended her break beyond its limit, suggested it on purpose so she could avoid their coworkers.

As they walked to the restaurant, Kyra silently lamented she’d brought Charlie to Edenbrook on the worst day possible.

But she smiled and kept it to herself.

When they took their seats, Kyra started her usual game of looking for the craziest thing on the menu and deciding she should get it just so she could live a little. She inspired Charlie to order something a little more adventurous than the basic chicken sandwich she’d been eyeing when they first walked in.

After they ordered, Kyra was smiling.

“What?” Charlie asked, “The chicken won’t be that spicy,” she felt the need to defend her order, assuming her friend was judging her hot chicken and waffles – an impulsive choice on Charlie’s part but familiar enough that she was comfortable with it.

“Not that,” Kyra rolled her eyes dramatically, still grinning though, “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Charlie smiled back – genuinely.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” Kyra shook her head as if shocked by their recent time apart.

“I know… I haven’t been around much,” Charlie admitted sheepishly, reaching for her water as if she could hide behind the glass.

She didn’t need to feel embarrassed about needing time after the attack to heal. But that wasn’t really what she was embarrassed about. It was the weeks of lying and hiding that preceded it.

“I’ve heard,” Kyra smirked softly into her drink.

“You’ve heard?” Charlie repeated, her heart rate spiking just a bit.

“I mean, even before everything happened, you were getting hard to find. And then, after the attack, you’re entitled to space, but…” Kyra smirked like she knew some grand secret, and Charlie’s stomach flipped. “Honestly, all of your roommates wonder where you are but are too polite to ask because of all you’ve been through.”

Charlie’s face fell.

Shit.

She should’ve known. Of course, they’d eventually put it together that she was often gone and frequently spent nights away, but she didn’t realize they were talking about it.

Charlie swallowed hard, and Kyra took that as her sign to continue.

“At first, they thought you were seeing someone casually and didn’t want to tell anyone after what happened with Raf, but then they thought they would have come around after the attack. For a little while, they thought you were with Raf and had secretly united after he broke up with his girlfriend because you guys were suddenly getting along again,” Kyra explained, watching as Charlie’s blanched with shock, “And he explained your absences a lot of the time, but he denied being your boyfriend, by the way. So, if you are having a secret love affair, you should know that your boyfriend denies it.”

“And do you guys still think I’m with Raf?” Charlie couldn’t believe there had been this much discourse about her absence. How many theories had they gone through?

“No,” Kyra shook her head, “You guys don’t act like a couple when you’re together. Plus, there’s no real reason to keep it a secret.”

Right…

Charlie was amazed Rafael hadn’t told her about all the gossip, but he was probably just trying to protect her from it.

“You guys aren’t, are you?” Kyra asked, just to be sure.

“No, definitely not,” Charlie insisted forcefully enough that Kyra was satisfied she was telling the truth.

“Good,” Kyra grinned in relief, “I already made a bet with Elijah that you two weren’t together, so he owes he me $20 now.”

Charlie couldn’t help but laugh.

Still, her curiosity burned.

“So, what are the other theories?”

Kyra raised an eyebrow, surprised Charlie was digging into it more. Clearly, something was there if she was this curious.

“Some are better than others. Aurora thought you might have a secret apartment to be by yourself. Sienna thinks you’re just going around to different supporters like Dr. Banerji when you need them. She usually thinks you’re at his cabin when you’re away. Bryce likes to joke that you’re out at bars on the prowl for a new boy toy,” Kyra winked with a laugh, “And then there’s this really funny one we came up with at Donahue’s, but it’s probably not true.”

“What is it?” Charlie pushed.

Kyra blushed. She was embarrassed to tell her how crazy their conspiracies had become.

“Well… it’s just that Dr. Ramsey’s been really supportive and protective since the attack. And we all saw how devastated he was right after. Plus, he’s the one who took you to Dr. Banerji’s cabin,” Kyra began, but the way she spoke made it clear she thought it was unlikely.

But she was right.

“After everything that happened with you last year, I know that you probably wouldn’t even give him the time of day, especially since you’d started dating other people right before you got sick. But… we thought you and Dr. Ramsey were, you know, together.”

Kyra expected an emphatic rebuttal or an amused laugh. Instead, Charlie stared.

“You weren’t, right?” Kyra laughed, waiting for her expected response.

“Um…” Charlie hesitated.

She wondered if she should keep lying.

But she couldn’t fathom it, not anymore.

“I was, actually,” Charlie said it casually, like it wasn’t an earth-shattering revelation that she had reunited with the man who broke her heart last spring.

Kyra was stunned to silence.

So stunned that she hardly noticed the waitress deliver their meals. Charlie thanked her on behalf of both of them.

Charlie waited for Kyra to do something.

Literally anything.

But she was just staring.

“We were actually together before the attack, though,” Charlie spoke up, trying to fill the silence. She kept her tone nonchalant in hopes it would keep the conversation that way, reducing the impact of her truth, “About a month. Not including the back and forth preceding it, where we slept together a few times.”

Kyra’s eyes widened more and more until they couldn’t possibly get wider.

“I thought you liked David! Didn’t you go out with him to get over Ethan?” Kyra asked, having set up them up just so Charlie could stop crushing on her boss.

“I did like him! But… I only saw him once. And I actually cut that date short because Ethan called me drunk, and I wanted to check on him,” Charlie admitted sheepishly.

“And that’s when you decided to be with Ethan?”

“No,” Charlie averted her eyes, “It was about a week later, I think. We, um… we had sex in Ethan’s office. We didn’t mean to do that, but as you already know, it wasn’t the first time. So, Ethan suggested that we start an actual relationship. I said no initially, but the next day, I said yes.”

“You’re in a relationship?”

“Oh… yeah,” Charlie winced, realizing her friend thought they were just sleeping together.

“How serious?”

“Like we’ve met each other’s parents, and we regularly say, ‘I love you’ serious,” Charlie’s voice got higher as she spoke until she was almost squeaking.

This was crazy. She’d been having a secret relationship – and not the kind where you text someone and show up at their door. She’d been building something meaningful with Ethan. She loved Ethan. She truly wanted to spend the rest of her life with Ethan, and along the way, she’d forgotten that her friends had no idea.

“Holy. Shit,” Kyra’s jaw dropped, and she leaned in close, “Tell me everything.”

She was smiling, and Charlie let out a deep sigh of relief.

So, Charlie told her.

Their promise to have a one-night stand. The way they pulled away and always came back. Her first date with David and the night she spent with Ethan. The morning where they shared breakfast and became friends again. The night in Ethan’s office where he offered a relationship and her teary acceptance the next night. The first time they said I love you. The way he helped put her back together after the attack. Their fight about her returning to Edenbrook. Everything.

Kyra was enthralled.

She asked more questions.

Most of which involved how Ethan was in bed. The others questioned how such an asshole could be a good boyfriend. And most importantly, why they’d kept it a secret.

On that front, Charlie didn’t have a great answer.

It was obvious why they kept it a secret from most of the hospital. The hospital didn’t approve of interdepartmental relationships, particularly if one party was a superior. It could jeopardize her place on the Diagnostics Unit, and rumors of sleeping to the top could damage her career permanently.

But why she didn’t tell her friends?

At first, just to keep the secret from spreading and maybe because she thought they’d think it was a terrible decision. Then… as time went on, it was just harder to share.

Though disappointed with Charlie’s lack of an answer, Kyra loved the conversation.

A few months ago, she’d strongly urged Charlie to stay away from Ethan, convinced he could only hurt her if they got any closer. But now that Ethan had seemingly proved himself, Kyra was eager to hear everything.

The rest of lunch was spent dishing on Charlie’s secret relationship and gossiping about the fabulous men – and the gorgeous woman – Kyra had been casually seeing in the last few weeks. Out of all of them, the only one who came close to acting like a partner was ironically Bryce – the only one she wasn’t sleeping with. Charlie, as always, encouraged Kyra to ask Bryce out and act on their perpetual flirting. Kyra just waved off the suggestion.

It wasn’t until the end of the meal that the conversation naturally drifted back to the financial state of Edenbrook and the resulting long hours Kyra had been working.

Kyra forgot why she didn’t bring it up earlier. She forgot that, as much as she loved Charlie, certain topics were still of limits. Something about the conversation made Kyra feel safe and comfortable – like she was catching up with an old friend, not protecting her from a hospital tragedy.

“I didn’t realize things were that bad,” Charlie confessed, signing her name on the check as they collected their things to leave.

“The whole thing’s on the verge of collapse,” Kyra sighed, “We’re trying everything –even begging our donor list to the point where they hate us. And things are going to get so much worse after today…”

“Today? What happened today?” Charlie asked curiously. Kyra, who had just looped her arm through Charlie’s, stilled as she realized her mistake.

“Just a little crisis. Nothing we can’t handle,” Kyra murmured casually.

“Is that why you had the emergency meeting?” Charlie prodded innocently, unaware of the change in her friend.

“Mmmhmm,” Kyra hummed avoidantly.

“Well… What was it?” Charlie asked again, growing more intrigued by the minute, “There hasn’t been an emergency admin meeting since someone tried to kill me. And before that, the last one was when Mrs. Martinez’s family threatened to sue. It’s got to be something big.”

And it was.

Something monumental and horrible.

“It’s not great,” Kyra warned, “You probably don’t want to hear about it…”

Well, now Charlie had to know.

“Kyra,” she said softly, pausing on the sidewalk once they exited the restaurant, “what is it?”

Kyra chewed on her lower lip, mulling over the decision on whether or not to tell her.

If Kyra was the one to tell her, at least she could control the way the information was spread. Charlie wouldn’t first be exposed to the news through sensationalized gossip or accusatory questions.

Maybe it was better this way.

“An intern made a mistake, or we think it was a mistake,” Kyra began, her hand resting on Charlie’s arms as they moved through the bitterly cold city. Even with their heavy jackets, they huddled together for warmth, and Kyra was comforted by Charlie’s closeness.

“A mistake,” Charlie repeated, the cogs in her brain already churning.

The last time the administrative wing panicked because of an intern mistake, it had been her own.

“What unit?” Charlie asked, hoping it would be something completely unrelated to her line of work. Maybe surgery made the wrong cut or psych misdiagnosed. Even dermatology was capable of mistakes if they tried hard enough.

“Diagnostics,” Kyra’s soft voice was almost lost to the roar of the Boston streets.

Charlie knew.

Without being told, she knew exactly what happened.

And the fact it came so easily to her meant that she had known the risk before now.

She let it happen.

“Esme,” Charlie blurted out her assumption. She prayed that Kyra would correct her.

“How did you know?” Kyra asked, bewildered.

Charlie winced.

“And the patient was Levi Coates.”

“Did someone already tell you?” Kyra’s eyes were so wide they took up most of her face. She was astonished – maybe even a little relieved she wouldn’t have to share the gory details if Charlie already knew.

Charlie couldn’t speak.

Without either noticing, the crosswalk turned green.

Most of the lunch rush had already left the city streets and returned to their office building, so the sidewalks weren’t crowded. Only a few people stood next to Charlie and Kyra, and once the light changed, they left the pair on the sidewalk by themselves.

“No…” Charlie murmured finally, only becoming aware of the crosswalk once it turned red again and stranded them in their original location.

No one needed to tell Charlie.

It all came back to her in horrific detail.

The day she came back to work – her last day before she abandoned Edenbrook and the care of her intern.

Esme acted strangely. She said things she shouldn’t have said to Charlie. She asked dangerous questions. She was too close to Levi – and too willing to take on the risks involved with helping him. And the party…. The party should have been a sign. No one survived a party at Edenbrook, it seemed.

But back then, Charlie couldn’t take it on. She was too fragile and overwhelmed to assume the responsibilities, stress, and mistakes of another. She couldn’t care for herself enough to teach someone else.

She’d left Esme.

She assumed someone would take over, spot it, and do something.

Or her little warning speech would be enough to warn Esme off from career-ruining misery.

But now, Charlie saw it wasn’t enough.

She failed Esme. She failed Edenbrook, and now she failed Levi.

Charlie didn’t want to ask what Esme had done, but she hoped it was benign – something like threatening a parent and having a lawsuit thrown in her face. She couldn’t watch another bright young intern lose a patient and devastate a family.

“What happened?” Charlie asked, not to sate curiosity but to be prepared. She knew that everyone would stare and whisper once she walked into Edenbrook again.

She didn’t look at Kyra as the light finally turned green again. While Kyra collected her thoughts, Charlie tugged her friend across the crosswalk.

Kyra sighed. There was no right way to say it, but even still, it felt wrong to say, “Levi died.”

Charlie’s world felt like it ended again.

“What?”

Charlie stopped in the middle of the street. Locked into her arms, Kyra was stuck there with her.

“She overdosed him. After everything his body went through, he couldn’t take it,” Kyra explained, looking at the crosswalk sign as she was eager to get out of the road.

“So, it was an accident?” Charlie meant to clarify, but it sounded more like a demand.

“Well…” Kyra swallowed, “We’re not sure.”

“You’re not sure?”

“She was close to the patient, and judging by the interviews we’ve conducted thus far… it’s possible that she did this to spare him, most likely with his permission. And that’s the result the admin office wants.”

“Why would they want that? That’s illegal in Massachusetts,” Charlie demanded, seemingly oblivious to the countdown on how much longer they had in this street.

“Charlie, let’s get out of the road,” Kyra implored.

“Just tell me.”

Kyra huffed, eyes scanning the cars waiting for the green light to run them over. Backed into a corner, she confessed, “Because, if she did, the hospital isn’t liable, and we can’t afford the lawsuit right now.”

Oh my God.

Finally, Charlie took a step, and Kyra immediately ushered them to the other side of the street. Only moments later, cars roared through the intersection, much to Kyra’s relief.

But Charlie was disgusted.

She was horrified. She hated that a death had turned into money so quickly. She hated that she hadn’t saved Esme and Levi. She hated that her experience with Mrs. Martinez had been repeated in another generation.

For the next block or so, Kyra and Charlie walked in silence.

Then Edenbrook came into view.

That place.

Full of death and destruction. Pain and misery. Mistakes and heartache.

An anxious building was suddenly clothed in danger.

She hated it. She hated the whole place and all it had done to those she cared about.

Kyra watched her carefully, hoping that she wouldn’t have to leave her friend in a bad state. Finally, she asked, “Should I not have told you?”

“No, you should have,” Charlie murmured, “Better you than someone like Declan Nash telling me it’s a tradition.”

Kyra squeezed Charlie’s arm, wishing she could absorb whatever terrible emotions she felt. She’d been through enough already.

“Do you think it was an accident?” Charlie bit her lip, unsure if she wanted the answer, “If only you got to decide, what would you do?”

“Me?” Kyra considered it, “I don’t know. I’ve only read a few interviews, and I hardly know her. But… looking at his file, I wouldn’t blame Esme if she did. With parents who wouldn’t allow him to give up, he didn’t have many other options, but… I don’t want her to get blamed for this for the sake of a hospital budget.”

Charlie appreciated Kyra’s fair consideration, but personally… Charlie felt sure of what Esme had done. And she couldn’t blame her, not when she saw Levi’s suffering. But it felt like a failure on Charlie’s part nonetheless. She should have been there to find other alternatives before it came to this.

They were close to Edenbrook now.

Soon, they’d say goodbye.

“Are you going to be okay?” Kyra inquired. She wouldn’t leave her friend like this, but she didn’t know what else to do. She couldn’t bring her back to the chaos in the administrative wing, and aside from Rafael, all of their other friends were currently working in Edenbrook, the source of the tragedy.

“I’ll be fine,” Charlie affirmed half-heartedly.

“Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?” Kyra asked casually. Or it was supposed to sound casual – because, in actuality, it definitely wasn’t. Kyra wanted to know that Charlie wasn’t going to mope about all day or go on a downward spiral after the news.

“Not particularly,” Charlie shrugged, “While I’m here, I think I’ll run up and see Ethan.”

“Your boyfriend?” Kyra teased, and Charlie shot her a glare. Kyra nudged her playfully, “You should tell everyone, you know.”

“I will… eventually.”

“Eventually? So, they’ll find out by getting a wedding invite?”

“I’ll tell them when it’s time,” Charlie insisted, a ghost of a smile creeping across her lips at the joke.

“Just make sure I’m there when you tell Bryce. I want to see his reaction. Promise me, okay?” Kyra demanded once they got to the front door.

“Okay,” Charlie agreed weakly, feeling the color drain from her face as she stepped inside.

“Alright…” Kyra sighed, hesitating to leave. She balanced on either foot as she tried to think of a reason to stay, but ultimately, she just gave Charlie a hug, “Call me later, okay?”

Charlie nodded her agreement.

Kyra wasn’t totally satisfied, but she walked back to the admin office anyway.

Leaving Charlie in Edenbrook.

This building. This horrible building.

Charlie started walking to Ethan’s office on autopilot, but the halls plagued her. Ghosts of patients lost, mistakes made, and heartaches received whispered to her. And then they screamed.

The panic built in her chest – mixing with her sense of regret and responsibility.

Everything here had been a devastating failure.

In her blind rage, she knew exactly what she needed to do.

Ethan felt something similar as he walked to his office.

He’d spent his lunch break with Naveen. Their scheduled lunch had been disrupted by a crisis with Dr. Ortega, and their resulting time together amounted to picking up food from the cafeteria and eating it in Naveen’s office between emergency meetings.

This lunch turned into what Ethan usually called Naveen’s “retirement talks.” Every year or so, Naveen would tire of the politics and stress associated with their profession. He would meet Ethan for drinks or dinner, and he would propose a retirement. Throughout the meal, Naveen would build a fantasy of retirement – one where he read, fished, and hosted dinner parties with frequency. Ethan played the role of reminding Naveen why he loved his job. At the end of all of these talks, Ethan’s side always won because, truthfully, Naveen was never looking to retire. After all, even when Naveen almost died, he couldn’t stay retired for even a week after his recovery.

But today was different.

Today, during the hurried meal, Naveen hadn’t built a fantasy. He reflected on the reality of their job and the pain it can produce. The death of Levi Coates and the accusations against Dr. Esme Ortega were proof enough that this was a difficult burden to bear. Naveen felt responsible. So did Ethan.

It was Ethan’s department, and she worked under Ethan – not that Ethan could say he’d given much effort to her education recently. He’d been so entangled in his own life that he hadn’t been much of an attending. Perhaps he could have taught her something to prevent this.

Then there was the day Charlie came back to work… He’d seen Ortega. She’d been up to something. If Ethan hadn’t been so focused on Charlie, he would have seen it. He could have done something.

Though he felt similarly, he lacked Charlie’s rage and depth of pain.

So, when he opened his office door and saw his beloved girlfriend standing there, he smiled. Because it felt like old times, if just for a minute. When they were so eager for time together that they’d meet here in secret…. His heart ached for the innocence of that time.

Then, he remembered she was still nervous in Edenbrook, and she was pacing the room anxiously. This couldn’t be a romantic visit.

Ethan closed the door behind him quickly and greeted her with confusion, “Charlotte?”

“You know about Esme,” Charlie skipped pleasantries.

In the comfort and safety of this office, the apprehension poured out of her. In front of him, she was going to lose it.

Ethan frowned.

He wished she hadn’t found out yet. It was the last thing she needed.

“So, you know too then?” Ethan clarified, turning the lock on his office door out of precaution.  

Charlie didn’t answer. She just held her breath, sucking in air through her nose and holding it in her chest. She thought it would calm her. It didn’t.

“This is my fault,” she decided.

“You weren’t even here!” Ethan objected.

“But she’s my intern.”

“You were mine,” Ethan stepped towards Charlie, “And I never took responsibility for Mrs. Martinez’s treatment.”

“But you were there to teach me. You did what you could. I wasn’t there for Esme. I wasn’t even here at all!” Charlie retorted.

“What do you think you could have done?” Ethan asked, knowing she was expecting too much of herself.

“I knew something was wrong, Ethan. Esme was acting inappropriately. She asked me questions about ‘doing the right thing’ even when it’s not allowed. I should have told someone or at least told her more about what happened to me. All I did was give her a short speech and then leave,” Charlie huffed, “I failed her.”

Ethan felt strongly that she hadn’t. Or even if she had, she was justified given her traumatic near-death experience only a few weeks ago.

“You didn’t administer the dose. You’re not responsible.”

Charlie paused, her green eyes boring into his. He felt exposed as she seemed to read his rawest emotions with ease. And to prove it, she inquired, “You feel no responsibility then?”

Ethan shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want to lie.

Charlie shook her head as if unsurprised, and she began to pace again.

The panic was rising, and tears prickled at her eyes.

“This fucking place,” Charlie scorned, “All I wanted to be was a doctor. I thought I would come here and learn from the best. I thought I’d leave tired and deeply in debt but satisfied with my decision. And at every turn, something horrible happens. Why am I even here? I came here to help people, but who has been helped? Levi? Mrs. Martinez? Bobby?”

“Charlie…” Ethan eyes softened, “You’ve helped a lot of people.”

“Not enough. Not enough for this…” Charlie felt like she was breaking.

She was cracking and splintering. She was giving up.

“Why am I even trying to be a doctor if I’m just getting people killed?”

“Charlotte,” Ethan didn’t expect to react so viscerally, but something about her accusation stung him deeply. He placed either hand on her shoulder and insisted, “You haven’t killed anyone.”

“I can’t do this,” she shook her head so quickly, so fervently that her snow-dampened curls flew, “I can’t come back here. I can’t come back to Edenbrook, where nothing goes right and everyone gets hurt. Ethan… I’m leaving medicine.”

He could have sworn the earth stopped turning.

“Charlotte,” Ethan began, prepared to give a speech on why she was wrong, but she cut him off.

“I’ve already made up my mind. I made it up before I even got here. I can’t take another tragedy in this hospital. I can’t keep going, Ethan. I’m literally building up my tolerance just to stand in this office! How am I supposed to practice again?”

“You haven’t given yourself enough time!” Ethan asserted.

“It’s been over a month. How much more time will it take, Ethan?”

“Naveen is willing to give you as much time as you need.”

“But when is enough time? Ethan, there isn’t enough time! I am broken. I lost the instinct. I can’t do it anymore,” she felt like she was begging him to understand, just as he was begging her to change her mind.

“You are not broken, no matter what. You haven’t even tested the instinct to know if it’s lost,” Ethan knew that pinpointing the holes in her argument would do little to sway her, but it felt like all he had.

“I can’t keep going like this, Ethan,” Charlie said so passionately that Ethan instantly knew she was right. His hand went to hers, and he squeezed it.

“I know…” he murmured.

For a second, she thought she’d won. But the racing panic and horror didn’t leave her mind…

“But you don’t have to quit to change this,” Ethan decided.

Charlie frowned, but having decided on his mission, Ethan ignored her. He went to his desk and collected the chart for the newest patient of the Diagnostics Team – a patient they hadn’t even seen yet.

He handed the file to her and told her, “Read it.”

“I’m not even on duty. I can’t read this,” Charlie dropped the chart back to his desk.

“You can, and you are. And read it quickly because you’re going with us to meet the patient.”

“I’m on leave.”

“I’m your supervisor, and if you’re going to quit, I’m taking you off leave first,” Ethan determined.

It was a risk.

He could either change her mind or make it much, much worse.

“You should grab your jacket. The patient is at a ski resort, and we’re leaving in half an hour,” Ethan announced authoritatively.

She could say no, of course. She was very good at calling him out on his bullshit, particularly when he claimed authority he didn’t have. But he didn’t think she would because she wanted to know just as much as he did.

“So, what? You don’t want to leave me alone when I’m upset, and you think you can entice me back into work with a mystery? Is that what you have planned?” Charlie accused Ethan.

“No,” Ethan stood firmly, “I’m bringing you because I know you’ll solve it, and you need a reminder of all the good you’ve done here.”

Charlie made a show of rolling her eyes. She hated that he dared to fight her on her own career decisions, particularly after everything she’d been through. But she still reached for the chart. Just as he suspected, she didn’t continue the fight. Instead, she gathered her coat and started reading about the patient.

She wanted to know if Ethan was right.

And honestly… part of her hoped he was.

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for continuing to support this series! I didn’t mean to take this last hiatus, but with finishing up my semester, graduating, saying goodbye to friends, and moving, I ended up needing more time than I originally imagined.

Please share your thoughts on this chapter - and Kyra finding out!