#and I was super uncomfortable with it from the beginning but my mom was like: don’t be rude he’s only joking

[mainfaggot]

i had a really terrifying sleep paralysis slash bad dream situation last night so 1) i, half asleep and freaked out out of my mind, went to my mom's bedroom asking for water while trying not to fall over 2) got water and also my mom did a bunch of duas for me LMFAO 🤕😔 3) woke up 45 mins after my alarm and was 15 mins late to class

[saltyfilmmajor]

Literally everyone in my house does not give a fuck if I’m uncomfortable hosting a missionary

[jakexneytiri]

hi! I noticed ur response to my request just now!

I was wondering if u could still do that request? I can be more specific tho!! something more angsty like y/n feels like a bad mom and she starts crying. also u can include the nighttime and the baby won’t sleep and they’re struggling a lot as new parents <3 so neteyam let’s y/n sleep in the next morning and talks to the baby super cutely? tysm I love ur stuff❤️❤️❤️

heck yeah! ofc i can :)

⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰

neteyam is cleaning up from dinner as you’re attempting to feed your son for the final time tonight. however, your son refuses to latch. he begins to grow fussy, arms and legs jolting around as he squirms in your arms. tears begin to prick your eyes, as your breasts grow uncomfortable, weighing down your chest from the excess of milk building up.

“come on, tsantu.” you coo, gently bouncing your newborn. “drink for mama.” you guide his lips to your nipple once more, hoping he’ll finally latch.

only he doesn’t. instead, he turns his head aside, and begins to wail.

“shh shhhh shhhh, don’t cry.” you hush him, rocking his small frame back and forth.

his cries grow louder as neteyam walks over, a cloth draped over his shoulder. holding his hands out towards you, he asks “want me to take him?”

your lower lip quivers as you look up at your mate. “he-he won’t eat, i don’t know what to do! i can’t not feed him, ‘teyam. but he won’t eat! w-why won’t he eat?” tears are streaming down your cheeks now, crying along with your son.

neteyam sighs. he feels awful, helpless even. he knows everything he’s feeling, you’re feeling twice as much, if not more. “let me take him. when he calms down, you can try again. okay?”

you blink more tears away as you hand your son off to your mate. “i’m s-sorry, ‘t-teyam. i’m an awful mother.” you bury your face in your hands, tears falling harder now as you break down.

neteyam is bouncing your newborn in his arms, gently patting his back.

“my love.” he kneels beside you, one hand reaching out to tuck your fallen braid behind your ear. “you are the most wonderful mother. you’re learning, no one gets everything right the first try. we’re learning, together. right? you and me? i’m right beside you, every step of the way. we will figure this out, together.”

you meet your mates gaze with tear-filled eyes. “together.” you agree, as he places a soft kiss to your lips.

you hadn’t noticed at first, but while neteyam was soothing you with his reassuring words, tsantu had stopped crying.

“ready to try again?” neteyam asks, waiting for your consent before handing your son back.

you take a deep breath in, as neteyam sits beside you. one of his hands cradles tsantu’s head, while the other wraps around you, rubbing your back gently.

“take your time.” he says softly, kissing the top of your head.

you give your mate a half smile before pulling tsantu close, leaving just enough room between him and your breast. you lean forward slightly, your nipple just grazing your son’s lips. he turns his head, opening his mouth to finally latch.

you turn to look at your mate, relief washing over you as you both watch him feed. neteyam continues to rub small circles in your back, kissing the top of your head every now and then. “you’re doing great, mama.”

once tsantu is finished feeding, neteyam carefully scoops him up in his arms. “i will put him to bed. lay back, relax, please. get some sleep, my love.” he plants a kiss to your forehead, thumb brushing your cheek as he helps you lay back.

your eyelids immediately droop, exhaustion setting in. you curl up on your mat for the night, taking only a few moments to fall asleep.

neteyam gives you a half smile, before turning his attention back to tsantu, who is also asleep now. he settles his small body in between the two of you, as he lays down for the night.

“goodnight, my loves…” he kisses both of your foreheads, before making himself comfortable.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

after a few peaceful hours of uninterrupted sleep, tsantu wakes. it starts off as innocent babbles, but they grow louder. soon, the babbles turn into cries.

you sit up, yawning as your eyelids are half open. neteyam wakes too, rubbing his eyes. both of you are exhausted, having barely gotten any sleep. neteyam goes to pick up your son, cradling him in his arms before handing him off to you.

you shift the feathers that are draped over your chest, moving them aside to free your nipple. tsantu is quick to latch, his plump lips immediately drawn to your breast as he feeds.

when he finishes, his lips fall from your nipple, heavy lids drooping as he falls asleep within minutes. neteyam takes him from your grasp, cradling him in between your bodies. his thumb rubs your cheek gently, as he gazes over your sleepy form. “get some sleep, beautiful. i love you.”

your hand reaches up to cover his, as you close your eyes. “mmm…iloveyoumore…” you mumble, falling back asleep.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

tsantu is first to wake, naturally. his babbles growing loud enough for neteyam to hear, rousing him from his sleep.

“what’s that, my little warrior? hm?” he gently picks tsantu up, planting a kiss to your forehead before walking him over to the front of your marui. neteyam grabs the sling you both use to hold tsantu to your chest. carefully, he slips tsantu’s tiny arms and legs through the sling.

tsantu kicks and pats his hands against neteyam’s chest, babbling happily.

“oh, is that so?” neteyam asks, like he understands exactly what tsantu is saying. tsantu giggles, squealing happily as his tiny hands hit neteyam’s chest.

“you love mama? i love mama too.” he glances over at you, sleeping soundly on your shared mat. “how about we cut some fruits for her to have when she wakes, hm?”

[jwonsite]

STOP I JUST JAD THIS THOUGHT IM DEAD

thinking about how you'd randomly have the urge to suck jungwons dick, like out of nowhere.

you've never done it before so when you ask jungwon he gets surprised..

“Are you sure?”

you didn't want to back out, you really wanted to do it do you'd get onto your knees infront of him, surprising jungwon.

“Please.”

about 5 minutes later, his cock was twitching in your hands, his pink tip glistening from the kitten licks you've given it.

AA PLEASE CONTINUE THIS I DON'T HAVE THE BRAIN TO 😭

RAHHHHH ANON UR BRAIN I WANNA GIVE IT A KISS MWAH. i saw this ask while i was in the car w my mom i had to stop myself from giggling so she didn’t ask me what i was looking at💀💀

you and him would just be sitting on the couch, him facing forward while you sat with your legs over his lap, watching some random show he put on. jungwon was super immersed in the show, while you couldn’t care less, more distracted by the growing heat between your legs

you don’t know why you’re getting like this, but the whole day you couldn’t stop thinking about your boyfriend and his beautiful body

it’s not like you guys haven’t done anything before; you’ve had many heated make out sessions seated on his lap, and he’s even fingered you a couple times, but nothing more than that

you couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to suck his dick. it always looked so big and pretty in the outline of his sweatpants, it almost made you dizzy anytime he walked around the house so nonchalantly, having no idea what he was doing to you

you stared at your boyfriend, looking at his side profile as his watched whatever was on the tv. you contemplated asking him to let you suck him off, but you weren’t sure. you hadn’t done it before and didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, especially since its so out of the blue. while you were lost in thought, jungwon turned to look at you after feeling your gaze on him

“what’re you thinking about pretty girl?” he asks, snapping you out of your thoughts with a sweet smile

your eyes widened a bit after getting caught staring, before offering him a smile back

“nothing, just how pretty you are” you say, bringing your hand up to caress his cheek

he blushes a bit at this, the tips of his ears turning red as he giggles, turning away from you in embarrassment

he goes back to watching the show, his hand rubbing small circles on your legs. you continued to stare at him as you finally spoke up about what was on your mind

“won”

“hm?”

“i wanna suck your dick”

he whips his head to look at you with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape

“what did you just say?” he says in a whisper, almost like he’s scared you’ll repeat it. you become embarrassed at his reaction, thinking you made him uncomfortable

“nothing, sorry. nevermind” you say, voice and face filled with embarrassment as you moved to get up from the couch

before you could walk away he grabbed your hand. you looked back at him to see what he was going to say

“no baby that’s not what i meant, i was just- suprised is all. you caught me off guard. i didn’t mean to embarrass you” he says softly, intertwining your hands as you stood between his legs, him still sitting on the couch

“just- are you sure?” he asks, still holding your hand, looking up at you with the most caring eyes in the world

“please wonnie” you say, small pout on your face as you lowered yourself to your knees in front of him

“fuck, love you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this” he says as he runs his thumb over your cheek

you begin palming him through his sweatpants, growing wetter as you listen to his pretty noises

after palming him for some time, you feel his fully hard dick begging to be released from the confines of his pants

“please baby, stop teasing” he whines, throwing his head back

you lean down to give his dick a kiss over the thin fabric of his sweatpants, before reaching your hands to the waistband of his pants, pulling them down as his lift his ass up a bit to allow you to get them down

you practically moan at the sight, being met with his pretty cock as he wasn’t wearing any underwear

“no underwear wonnie? you must’ve really been waiting for me” you say, licking your lips before you bring your hands to wrap around his length

jungwon groaned at the contact, throwing his head back

you rubbed his tip, loving the moans he was making as you teased him. his moans were always so pretty, feeling the heat in your stomach grow as you listened

finally, you took his cock into your mouth, licking all the way from the base to the tip. you may have never done this before but you’ve heard about a few tips and tricks

taking the base of his dick into your hand, you moved up and down as you continued to suck and kitty lick his tip

at this point, he was a moaning mess from the new sensation. he tangled his fingers into your hair, pushing your head gently

after you finished your teasing, you finally took his dick into your mouth, pushing your head down until your nose touched his base. he groaned loudly, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling slightly. you were slightly embarrassed on how much that turned you on. you gagged as his cock hit the back of your throat, squeezing your eyes shut as they started to water

"fuck love, you look so pretty gagging on my dick like that" jungwon says as he pushed your head down again, loving the way you were taking him in your mouth

you moaned around his dick sending vibrations through it, making jungwon buck his hips. you could tell he was getting closer to coming as his legs started to twitch and he continued to buck his hips up, shoving his dick further into your throat

you continued messily bobbing you head over his length, tears prodding the corners of your eyes as you dug your nails into his thighs

"oh shit- im close baby please dont stop" he moaned out, hand still securely in your hair

you sped up your pace, taking him as fast and as deep as you can while one of your hand reached to fondle his balls. this sent jungwon over the egde, moaning loudly as his hips bucked up into your throat frantically, shooting his load straight down you throat

you continued sucking until you had gathering every drop of cum he had, opening your mouth to show him his load on your tongue before swallowing it all, licking your lips after

he reached down and pulled you up to his lips, kissing you deeply. he could still taste his cum on your tongue and he swears it almost made him hard again. you pulled away, looking at him with a smile

"you're so perfect, my love" he says, pressing your foreheads together so the tips of your noses were touching

"i love you, won" you said in a whisper

"i love you more, princess" he says back, pressing another quick kiss to your lips

you sit back down next to him as he pulled up his pants before trying to cuddle into his side, but he quickly stopped you before you could get too comfortable

"you thought we were finished? oh no pretty girl, were just getting started"

an: ahhhh stop guys this ask was so🥰🥰🥰🥰 i literally loved writing it. i hope you guys enjoy this, it was a bit rushed but i actually kinda like it!!

[valley-of-headcanons]

Heyy! So I just found your stuff and it’s all super cute I love this kind of thing 😊 feel free to decline but do you think you could do a little fluffy one shot type thing where you’re just gaming with Sebastian and then whoops you both fall in love 😳

best gamer of all time || sebastian x reader oneshot

hanging out with your friends is always fun, but gaming alone with him may be your new favorite thing <3

warnings: fluff fluff fluff fluff oh my god, you may suck at this game but you do NOT suck at winning his heart

requested by: @juleboo , this is such an adorable request! i'm sorry this took like forty billion years, life has decided to kick me off my feet, but im doing a lot better so yippeeeee. i hope you enjoy, hopefully it was worth the long wait 🙏

Hanging out on a Saturday night was a ritual for you, Sebastian, Abigail, and Sam. You all rotate on who's place you hang out at, and tonight was Sebastian's. Abigail was laid out on the couch, Sebastian sitting on his bed, and you and Sam were on the floor. After a very intense game of Jackbox, with a lot of chaotic answers and laughter, it was nearing midnight.

“I cannot believe you put that! That was a direct jab at me and you know it!” Sam said towards Abigail's direction, obviously not actually upset.

“Then clean up the fuckin' pizza boxes in your room! That rat would've become your best friend if your mom didn't find him- wait- what time is it? ... oh shit, my dad is gonna kick my ass!” Abigail said, jumping up at lightning speed and grabbing her bag. “Sorry to kill the party, love you guys, if I get lectured one more time this week I am going to pull out my hair. Bye bye!”

And off she goes, leaving just as chaotic as she came. Sounds about right. The remaining three of you laughed, before Sam stood up and grabbed his things as well. “For some reason Mom wants me to come to church in the morning, she saw some lyrics to one of our songs and she kind of flipped her shit. Soooo, gotta atone for my sins. Have fun you two,” he said, sending a small wink Sebastian's way before making his way up the stairs.

You saw the wink, it definitely caught you off guard. You immediately snapped your head towards Sebastian. “What was that for?” you said with a smirk, which wasn't held for long. It slipped into a smile, moving from the floor to the now empty couch.

Sebastian's expression remained neutral, rolling his eyes. “Sam is always up to something, ignore him. Do you wanna stay and hang for a little while? I don't have anything to do tomorrow,” he said, looking towards the cabinet of games that sat beside his gaming console. He never asked anyone to stay later, especially when it's his night to host. He usually wants everyone out, Sebastian cherishes his alone time.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach when he asked you this, he actually wanted to spend more time with you? You felt so honored and special, of course you were going to stay. “Yeah, what did you wanna do?”

“I bought a game, it's co-op. Wanna try it out? It's a platformer, it seems pretty easy,” he said, walking over to the cabinet and grabbing the case. He made his way back over to you, showing you the back of the case, carefully studying your features. He wanted to make sure you were actually interested, and when your face lit up, he couldn't hold back a smile. It was rare for him, but it was perfect.

“Hell yeah, let's pop this bad boy in!” you said, sitting up excitedly and scooting over so that you two could share the couch. After 'popping that bad boy in', he sat next to you and handed you the controller.

Sebastian put on the tutorial before beginning to show you the controls. He described what to do, but due to your drowsiness from working all day, you just couldn't grasp what the controls were. “Here,” he mumbled, thinking for a moment before carefully putting his hands over yours.

“Alright, shoot with this button, alright?” he said, making sure not to get too close to you. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable, but these little touches were really nice ... he could get used to this.

“Mhm ...” you hummed, although your brain was short-circuiting. Every single thought in your brain was rendered useless in that moment, every place where you two touched felt like it was on fire. You clumsily tried to recreate his movements, shooting when he asked and jumping when he instructed. You learned the controls, but barely.

“Got it?” he said simply, slowly beginning to let go of you. He didn't really want to, but he didn't want to overstep your boundaries. He really cared about you, he didn't want to jeopardize that.

With a hesitant nod of confirmation, you two began the game. It was a mess, you definitely did not grasp the controls whatsoever. However, he enjoyed seeing what kind of trouble you got yourself into. How could you even get up there?

“Okay- when you jump, press the trigger to latch on to that cliff, and do NOT let go-” he tried to explain as you jumped with all of your might ... just to not even touch the cliff. Your body hit the floor with a splat, and you both sat in silence for a few seconds, staring at each other. Small snickers turned into full blown laughter, falling down onto the couch as you both held your faces.

“How the hell am I so stupid?? That was so easy! How the hell did I miss that??” you cackled, wiping the tears that began to fall from your eyes.

“I have no idea but it was one of the best things I've ever seen,” Sebastian's laughter began to quiet as he sat up, his gaze making its way down to you. You looked so perfect in the soft light of the television, so happy from the laughter that was encasing the both of you. He could not stop smiling.

“What?” you said softly, a gigantic grin on your face. You couldn't move, you just wanted to stay in this moment forever.

“... nothing. Just ... capturing this moment,” Sebastian said in a gentle tone, taking a deep breath before looking back at the screen. “You're a ghost now, but you can still help me and eventually I can revive you.”

You slowly sat up, but you had an idea. You slid a little closer to him than you were before, your legs touching. “Alright, I'll be the best fuckin' ghost in town,” you laughed, knowing you were bound to fuck it up but you had no care in the world. This was too fun.

He looked over at your legs touching, smiling even wider before continuing the game. He would ask you to do things as a ghost as you did ... with enough trial and error. He did notice that you kept adjusting and scooting closer and closer. He really liked this.

“Do you know how to freeze someone?" he asked, which you shook your head to. “Let me see this-” he mumbled, wrapping his arm around you, definitely just wanting to help you see the controls. You were essentially sitting in his lap at this point, a soft pink blush creeping onto both of your faces.

His face was so close, pressed almost right up against yours ... you wanted to stay here forever, but you didn't want to say anything that would ruin the moment. Nervous silence held you two for a moment, before he did something that both of you wanted more than anything. He carefully kissed your cheek, before going back to the game as if nothing ever happened.

Your brain melted, a feeling of bliss overtaking your body. You've been waiting for that for ages. You slowly leaned back into his chest as he laid down his controller for a moment. He wrapped his arms around your waist for a moment, giving you a careful squeeze. You reached your arms up around his neck, hugging him back. Neither of you cared about the game anymore.

“Stay here tonight. If you want to,” Sebastian muttered softly, holding your body close to his. He didn't dare let go, and neither did you.

You stayed there that night, you stayed wrapped up in his arms until the daylight and you had to work on your farm. But you hoped one day, you could wake up next to him everyday. Maybe someday, but for now, you had many Saturday nights where you stayed over later than everybody else.

[ladylooch]

(Ik your requests are closed so pls don’t feel super pressured to write but you write Nico perfect everytime so I choose you :3)

So we all know neeks isn’t into anything super hardcore or kinky when it comes to sex. But when he’s particularly frustrated with hockey or the media he can get a bit rough, needing to take his emotions out on something. (Here’s the angsty part? Idk if this even counts as angst but) maybe one night after a rough game you’re kind of just letting him use you as he needs, but he kinda ‘blacks out’ for a sec and gets a little too rough with you. Nothing super dramatic but you have to say something about it and he’s instantly reeling himself back in and profusely apologizing and completely shifting focus to make it up to you. Poor baby is in near tears over hurting his girl.

His Superstar- Nico Hischier

A/N: I just love the way I was selected for this blurb. Hahahah! I love you anon 🤭 fluff my feathers, bby. You know it works. Also, you know I have to be big sis here and address this theme: communicate with your partners. Keep it safe and respect boundaries.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ Content, sexual boundaries talk

If one more reporter asks Nico if he’s frustrated with his lack of scoring so far this season, he might have to show that reporter just how frustrated he actually is by popping them in the face. 

Day after day, he stands up there in front of their cameras and microphones, answering questions he really doesn’t want to. 

It never gets easier. The vets told him  it would in this first season as captain. It doesn’t. He still has to resist hulking out at some of the dumbass questions and comments he gets in his media scrums. 

But when he gets home to you, none of that matters. He falls into your world where he isn’t an NHL captain. He isn’t a multimillionaire who is underperforming. He isn’t an international superstar.

He’s only yours. Y/N’s Nico.

You, his sweet girlfriend, were waiting for him in the kitchen with fudge brownies using the chocolate his mom sent from Switzerland. He knew exactly what he wanted from you when he saw you in those tiny, red shorts you know drive him nuts.

And it wasn’t food. 

You were unsuspecting, chewing on your bottom lip at the outward frustration you saw gathering in Nico’s eyebrows on social media that morning. He was at the rink longer- getting treatment. But the wildness in his eyes when he walked in did not prepare you for the position you were currently in.

Nico slams into you deeply again. It feels incredible. You moan out your approval to him again. He has you on the kitchen table so he can use his thick thighs to pound at full throttle. Nico rarely gets like this and the excitement of it all has your nipples piercing the air, meeting his groans. His hands come up, groping your breasts as he leans over you more. He is so far gone, whispering in Swiss German, losing control of himself completely as he pushes harder into you. The table moves slightly. You reach out for his arm for safety, holding and rubbing at him while moaning his name.

Nico grabs both of your arms, pinning you down with his palms on both your forearms. You are so close to reaching your climax. You open your legs wider, taking him deeper. Your breathing stutters and you move to pull your arms from his grip to hold his shoulders for security. Nico forces his fingers deeper into you. You’re eyes snap open in unease. You try again. Now his grip is uncomfortable. 

“Nico let go.” You stutter abruptly, feeling panic close your throat. It takes him a moment to hear your words. His head is knocked back as he begins to dribble into you. The reaction of his impending orgasm has him tightening further. “Nico! Stop!” You yell suddenly. Nico snaps to immediately, releasing your arms. You push at his abdomen until he falls out of you. 

“What!? What happened!?” You are still splayed beneath him, completely exposed. You suck in a shaky breath, trying to ground yourself. You can tell he didn’t mean to, but you suddenly feel very naked and uncomfortable. Nico can see that. He grabs his jacket on the chair to his right, draping it over you. His expression is worried. He tentatively reaches out for your hand. You lace your fingers together. “Did you say something and I missed it?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry. Oh my god. Baby, what did you say? I didn’t hear. I’m so sorry. I’m so…” He trails off, dashing a hand through his hair. He looks around the table frantically, trying to find the pants you both dropped on the floor in haste.

“Nico.” You call, reaching for him to come back to you. He is berating himself internally. You can see it with every twitch of his facial features. His shoulders are slumping inward as he leans over you, reaching out for your cheek then recoiling his fingers. You grab his hand, placing it there and leaning into his touch. “Can you please calm down so we can talk about it?”

“I hurt you!”

“No you didn’t.”

“I crossed a line!”

“Yes, but unintentionally.” You sit up, very aware of your naked core settling against the kitchen table. You open your arms and Nico steps in. He presses his forehead to your shoulder, his jacket still covering most of your naked body. You turn so you can brush comforting kisses along his stubbled jaw. “I asked for you to let go of my arms.” Nico shakes his head.

“I didn’t hear.”

“I know.” You murmur, “That’s why I yelled.” He nods.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I am okay. And I want to finish, but can we not do it this way anymore?”

“Of course.” He nods. He pulls away to look at your face. “I’m so sorry. I did not hear you. I would never keep doing something you weren’t comfortable with.”

“I know, Neeks. Now let me finish you off on the couch.” You smile, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He lifts you up, walking to the leather couch. He chuckles as you shiver when your back hits it, like always. The air of safety returns as you straddle his lap, sliding down until he’s fully sheathed inside of you. He grips your hips tenderly, creating a line for you to buck yourself into. 

When he came into the apartment, he wanted to take you his way. But now, watching you ride him so good, he thinks about how much better this is. You always have better ideas than him. The bed you picked. The apartment you moved into together. The bedding. This couch.

And this fucking tempo. His head falls back; his belly burns with fire. Your inner walls suck him deeper and he releases white ribbons into you.

“Baby.” He moans against your mouth as you wetly kiss him in praise. You’re not quite there yet. He sinks deeper into the couch cushions as you use him for your own pleasure. He watches with heavy and lustful eyes, biting his bottom lip when you shout his name to the ceiling. He curls forward, groaning, gripping himself into your chest as you pulse around his sensitive cock. He shivers when your nails drag along his shoulders, leaving red scratches as you bounce up and down once more.

“Oh god.” You croak out when you find your voice. “That was… Fuck.” 

“You’re a superstar, baby.”

“Thought that was you?” You murmur, raking a hand through his mused, brown locks.

“No… Right now I’m only yours.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay, so this one has been eating at me for years and I FEEL like the asshole even though everyone involved has never expressed that they think I was an asshole. I’m terrified about what the consensus will be, and either way I should probably talk to a therapist about this now that I’ve typed it out. This one is mildly sexual but I won't include like, details of that or anything.

So basically, years ago I (20 F) was dating this guy (19 ftm) with a LOT of issues. When we first started dating, I mentioned that a lot of his issues really echoed a lot of what my mom went through when I was growing up, and that he should probably see a psychiatrist/therapist. Sure enough, turns out he’s bipolar too! We found out because the psychiatrist prescribed medication for depression that has a notoriously bad effect on bipolar folks. He started cycling rapidly and it was a lot of strain on a new relationship.

Here’s where the assholery begins. Basically, I went to visit him and his family for the first time, and we were up late that night. He was having a bit of a rollercoaster of a night. He’d been crying over something personal, and then we were laughing over a movie, and then things started to get heated. I was really kind of uncomfortable because of the wild swing of the night, and while I was into it, I knew he had a history of lying to sexual partners about his comfort with sex.

I told him over and over again over the previous months that if he didn’t want it I didn’t want to either. No one likes having sex with a partner that isn’t into it. This night though, I stopped him several times to ask him if he was sure. And at one point he asked me why I kept stopping things, and I told him because he’d had a lot of emotions that night and I didn’t want to take advantage of that.

He told me multiple times that he was fine and he was good. Fast forward several months and we’re at a party playing some question game or whatever. Someone asked me about the best sex I’d ever had, and I mentioned that night because it WAS good. That’s when my partner turns to me and says he has NO MEMORY OF THAT NIGHT AT ALL. Like he’d been so out of his mind that he’d disassociated the whole night and doesn’t remember even being there, let alone sleeping with me. I mean, it sucks bad enough that he said this in front of all of our friends. He made a joke about “your best sex was during your partners mental breakdown lol.” We were ALL super uncomfortable for the rest of the night. Now, years later I still think about how horrific it is in hindsight.

Safe, SANE, and consensual right? On one hand, I know I’m not a mind reader and had no idea he was so out of it that night. But also, I knew he has lied to partners about his own comfort with sex before and I should have stopped him there. We’re no contact now, and I’m really glad to be out of that relationship for a whole host of reasons, but I still feel like there should have been some sort of sign or something I should have picked up on that would have stopped that from happening. I feel a little violated? Like not just physically but also like he really violated my trust that he would express himself maturely and make responsible sexual decisions.

He’s never said anything to me about being upset with the way things turned out. He’s never expressed hurt or that he thinks I was in the wrong. But there’s just something about this whole situation that makes me feel like I did something irreversibly terrible to someone else. So I guess I have to ask. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[moonpaw]

Would you be willing to explain why you don't like insurgence and xenoberse? I also keep seeing them recommended, but I'm currently playing uranium.

insurgence seems to be an over the top edgy game that's just super not in my wheelhouse

xenoverse because i did play through that one and its just. so goddamn lackluster. the plot and gameplay was constantly pissing me off 😭 though i think my main issue was that i was pretty excited going into the game because i watched as several people overhyped it, calling the story fantastic and the best thing ever and then i played it and it was just... not.

it was ALRIGHT. i guess. but eurgh. my biggest issue is the other playable character (that you don't choose) only showing up like a handful of times (i think literally can be counted on one goddamn hand) and is heavily shoving a romance in your face from the moment you meet them. which whatever, ok, sure. except. if you choose to play as a girl, the boy option, LOOKS VERY MUCH LIKE YOUR DAD. and it just made the whole thing SUPER uncomfortable to me to the point i had to restart the whole game over to choose to be a boy instead because at least the girl doesn't look like either parent even though i still very much hated the whole forced romance crush thing. but hey. at least it didn't feel like i was being flirted on by a younger version of your dad 😭

also the gameplay itself was just. really felt like it was all glitter and hype and then felt like ass trying to actually play and make sense of from a plot perspective

and then my next gripe is your dad and this one is end of game spoiler territory

the game is focused on finding your dad who got kidnapped at the beginning of the game (10 years ago) except oops! nope! he's the leader of the villain gang! also he's SILVER FROM THE CANON SERIES (with your mom being leaf!)

and him being the leader of the big bads just. GOES AGAINST HIS WHOLE CHARACTER?? hello. hello. hello. i still had the whole elite 4 or whatever post game there was but finding out it was silver just. made me stop playing it pissed me off soooooo much

[slayerkitty]

On Hidden Agenda And if the Agenda is Really Hidden

Otherwise known as @respectthepetty and I watched episode 11, looked at each other, scratched our heads and pulled the clown car over to the side of the road. Episode 11 was not the traditional "BL Episode of Doom" it usually is in most BLs. Some BLs do purposefully subvert this trope or move the episode of doom to episode 10 instead.

It didn't feel like that was what happened here. So we hopped out of the clown car, whipped out our phones to check our maps and directions, because we were very, very confused. We were so sure we had the show figured out! And...no?

So we decided to backtrack; turn the clown car around and start the trip again from the start. To take this week and re-watch Hidden Agenda from the beginning and figure out what the hell we missed.

We also took a detour into source material territory (aka looked up a summary about the book) which was no help to the current situation, because @respectthepetty discovered that JengPok, Nita's stalker, Puen, and Wave x Trin weren't even in it! The only thing we were able to confirm with it is that it's from Joke's POV, he's unhinged in it, and Zo spends most of it dating Nita.

With all this in mind, I sat down with episode 1 of Hidden Agenda in hopes that I would discover anything that we might have missed. I also have slowly cultivated two theories that as of episode 6 still hold up though I don't know how much weight I want to give the second one (but I also can't let it go).

Before I delve into the theories, I do want to point out a couple things that I have noticed.

Zo is super intense about debate club, NOVA, and the Finland scholarship from episode 1. His coaching of Joke in episode 2 rivals his mother's coaching of him in episode 10. If someone who makes gifs could make a gif set that parallels those two scenes, I would be eternally grateful; it will blow your mind. Zo's issues with disappointing his mom are also there from episode one, but they are super subtle. He doesn't want Kot to tag him in his IG story because his mom might see him at the bar drinking. He mentions in I think either episode 2 or 3 that his mom hasn't visited in a while because she's been busy and the way he says it is so... ugh, he needs a hug.

Zo's trauma from Puen's horrible treatment of him is also evident from episode 1 as well; he is constantly saying that he doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, that he's worried he's upsetting people, etc. It's constant. Seriously, someone hug Zo.

Theory 1: Joke did something bad/something bad happened to someone he cared about (probably in high school and appears to have gotten therapy about it based on how he speaks)

Episode 1:

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, while Joke is scolding(?) Zo, he says, "What you said on that stage won't change a broken system."

Episode 2:

Joke tells Zo, "My tongue gets me in trouble."

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Episode 3:

Joke says "Before you get to know someone, you need to know yourself."

Joke also asks/tells Zo to trust him for the first time.

Joke talks about the Triangular Theory of Love: Passion, Intimacy and Commitment

Joke is pretty worried when Zo crashes his bike and makes Zo ride with him instead.

Joke mentions that he used to go to the restaurant Zo picked out with his dad, back when they used to go out to eat; this suggests a distance between him and his dad.

During dinner, Joke says that "What you see of someone may not be the whole story," and "Stay true to yourself."

In the library, Joke tells Zo "I would never let someone I love face danger alone."

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn't answering his calls. and it's implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke invites himself on Zo's trip as if he's afraid if Zo leaves without him, something bad will happen.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn't leave Zo "alone and sad" and "I'll never abandon you"

Joke also says "I only care for those who care for me."

Joke is afraid of the glass bridge but he's also to worried to let Zo go out on the bridge by himself.

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up "liveliness sprung from despair."

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn't go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Kot doesn't seem to like Joke and extremely overreacts to the way Joke trying to get Zo to eat the food he bought. Now, Joke was maybe a little pushy, but Kot goes off the handle.

When cuddling in bed, Joke says "hugging for 30s releases Oxytocin" and if they hug longer, "it means we feel the same."

Theory 2: Joke is a stalker

Yeah, you read that right. There is ample evidence throughout the first 6 episodes that on first watch, didn't quite ring alarm bells, but on re-watch, are setting off sirens. I kinda had this as a crack theory in the back of my head after episode 8 first aired, but now it's staring me in the face and feels a lot less crack-y

Episode 1:

Joke eavesdrops on Zo recording his podcast

Joke is super intense when speaking to Zo at the studio and manhandles him a little so that Joke can sort of pin him against the wall.

Joke eavesdrops on Zo and friends on the bus and then approaches him after to give advice on Nita

Joke asks Zo if the iced coffee is for Zo and says it's not because "Zo doesn't like coffee."

Joke always seems to be around when Zo is trying to approach Nita.

Joke confesses that he has a crush before singing a song.

When Zo tries to leave the bathroom after getting sick, Joke actively won't let him, grabbing him roughly and holding him in place.

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, Zo asks Joke why he won't quit if he hates it and Joke says he has his reasons.

At the studio, Joke says "I love you and you love me" in Chinese and proceeds to do what has been touted as an "erotic wedding based tradition" with drinking the Roselle juice.

Episode 2:

Joke starts pushing boundaries with food

Joke and Zo make a deal to help Zo with Nita.

Joke has a fantasy of Zo winning and them kissing.

Joke pushes boundaries with food again

Joke admits to Zo he has a crush on someone.

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Joke ties Zo's shoe

Joke says he's already started helping Zo with Nita, but has he?

Episode 3:

Joke basically milks all the situations with Zo in his favor under the guise of helping Zo with Nita

Joke admits he listens to Zo's podcast because it helps him sleep.

During dinner, Joke says that "What you see of someone may not be the whole story," and "Stay true to yourself."

In the library, Joke tells Zo "I would never let someone I love face danger alone."

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn't answering his calls. and it's implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke insists on driving Zo home despite Zo's protests.

Joke invites himself on Zo's trip really insistently and hugs Zo excitedly when Zo agrees.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn't leave Zo "alone and sad" and "I'll never abandon you"

Joke also says "I only care for those who care for me."

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 4:

Joke knows how long it's been since Zo changed his profile pic.

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 5:

Joke confronts Zo for trying to avoid him and wanting to forget their kiss. Joke is incredibly aggressive and spills his drink on Zo as a result.

Joke continues to message Zo that Zo is avoiding him and that he's going to come over. Zo says not to. Joke does anyway.

Joke gets himself invited to dinner with Zo and his mom.

Joke makes a move while doing dishes and tells Zo he wants to know how Zo feels.

Joke says "why would you hurt me and tell me to forget?" and "you never care about my feelings."

Joke also says "don't run away from me," and "don't avoid me."

Joke confesses through tongue twister.

Joke remembers that Zo hates stink beans.

Joke tells Zo "I would do anything for you," and "I like you Zo, I want to show you that you like me, too."

Asks Zo to let Joke pursue him.

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up "liveliness sprung from despair."

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn't go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Joke pushes boundaries with food again and then fights with Kot.

Zo tells Joke he needs to respect boundaries.

Joke oversteps boundaries again in at debate club.

Joke pushes Zo again for an answer on his feelings; Joke says he "will always wait" for Zo.

Joke also insists that Zo was into him all along and not Nita.

Joke watches Zo at the debate open house and gets jealous.

Joke wants Zo to stay over; he pushes Zo again for an answer to his feelings. When Zo wants to go shower, Joke grabs his arm and stop him, saying that he won't let Zo run away.

Joke gives Zo the arcade t-shirt and when Zo says he doesn't know the significance, Joke tells Zo to take it off. Joke then takes his own shirt off and refuses to put it back on.

Joke asks to hold Zo and Zo doesn't answer, just rolls over onto his side away from Joke. Joke says "silence means yes" (and in this case it did but OH MY GOD) and proceeds to cuddle Zo.

As I go through my re-watch, I'll add more to both theories but as of episode 6, they both hold up. I can't decide of Joke himself actually did (insert bad thing here) to someone, or just knew someone that (insert bad thing here) happened to. Joke being a stalker wasn't that evident at first, but it is now! At a minimum, Joke is obsessive, posessive and overly clingy.

Also, these theories can both be true! They don't contradict each other in any way. Stay tuned for Part 2, probably... Friday or Saturday.

[ninjago-sideblog]

Skybound had so many good ideas and concepts that I really like the season for. On the other hand, it fumbled like 80% of those ideas soooo hard that makes me want to cry.

(suuuper long indulgent rant about Skybound underneath cut read at your own risk)

Nadakhan is my favorite villain in a bubble. He’s this disgraced djinn prince who runs away from his home realm to become one of the most feared pirate captains in Ninjago and when he tries to return home, it’s all crumbling. He then exacts revenge on those who destroyed his home by manipulating them and toying with them psychologically, eventually trapping their souls in a sword? Badass, right?

Except that all of this cool characterization is contradicted and bastardized left and right. The season dumbs down the ninja instead of making Nadakhan smarter so he can win. When he gains the ability to make his own wishes, he resorts to immediately killing everyone. His obsession with Nya is really weird considering that she was the one who CAUSED Djinnjago to get destroyed.

Jay and Nya’s character arcs are really interesting too. In a bubble. Jay has to step up as a leader after all his friends were taken by this guy, who he has to face after he kidnapped and tortured him. He fucked around and found out the hard way and has to make up for it. Nya continues to struggle with her identity and coming into her own as a ninja and not having Samurai X to latch onto. They both have to fight to keep each other safe and make sacrifices and fall back in love.

Once again though, this is all fumbled and explored in a way that makes me tear my hair out. Jay is a selfish obsessive whiny asshole who’s pining for Nya is super uncomfortable and annoying to watch instead of cute or relatable. Nya is an even bigger asshole than he is. She lets Clouse get away in the beginning to throw a tantrum on Jay, which causes Nadakhan to be freed in the first place. She causes Jay to nearly get killed by the Tiger Widow and then get kidnapped/tortured, all because she was mad at him.

So many other plot points and character choices make me so upset it really detracts from the season as a whole. To name some:

Kai’s ultra inflated ego/obsession with social media and girls

Dareth

Forcefully inserted misogyny

All of the prison arc. All of it.

Ronin betraying the ninja for the police. I get he likes money, but the ninja saved his ass and he is a known criminal. Just a weird place to take his character.

The ninja turning on Jay immediately and effectively sacrificing him to the ultra deadly giant spider

Cole and Lloyd being unceremoniously/anti-climatically removed from the season so Jay and Nya could be alone

Marriage plot (specifically Delara and the marriage plot only ever being used as an excuse for Nadakhan to fight with Jay over Nya which is really gross)

I wish Delara was explored more and was not a creepy Nya clone for Nadakhan to drool over, ew

Dareth

Cole, Lloyd, and Nya using up their wishes immediately in really stupid ways

Tonal whiplash from the goofy lighthearted first half of the season to the dark hopeless second half

Echo Zane (before the Echo fans come after me, I like his character, but he just introduces a lot of plot implications that are never resolved or addressed for a character who has like 10 minutes of screen time max and never gets to come back)

We never learn why Cliff and ‘Libber’ abandoned Jay with the Walkers. Cliff obviously cared about his son, he made a shrine for him in his dressing room, so why did he never contact him before his death? What happened to Jay’s mom? Did Wu know? It’s annoying to have this plot point, only for it to never be explored in the whole show besides a line about being adopted in Prime Empire. Maybe we’ll get some context in Dragons Rising, but I doubt it.

We were robbed from a rematch between Captain Soto and Nadakhan

I honestly wouldn’t mind the ending, if it wasn’t for the fact that the writers can’t decide wether everyone remembers the alternate timeline or not. That and it’s seems like the events of Skybound don’t effect Jay and Nya in later seasons like at all besides a wink and a nudge at the viewer. Once again, Jay was kidnapped and physically/psychologically abused and tortured, and Nya straight up died. They are the only people who (completely) remember and gained what should be a massive amount of trauma but nope! Lloyd has more on-screen/canon trauma over Harumi than Nya does about DYING or Jay does about TORTURE. Again, I don’t think that Dragons Rising will explore this to any extent either.

I also don’t mind the whole trapping the ninja in the Djinnblade thing, I just wish the ninja could have had more screen time. Either by keeping them around longer before trapping them, or showing what inside the sword was like idk

Nadakhan and Jay are kinda weird because I’m not sure why he singled him out out of all of the ninja. I know the Doylist answer is that Jay is the focus character for the season, but I find it weird that instead of getting the other ninja while he could, he wasted a lot of his time toying with Jay on Misfortunes Keep. Why didn’t he just kidnap all of the ninja on Tiger Widow Island instead of giving them a chance of escape. His obsession with Jay could have been easily explained or explored it it never is?

TL;DR, Skybound is a mess of really good and really bad ideas Frankensteined together in the messiest, laziest way they could. I still like it quite a bit, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t frustrate the hell out of me.

[bengiyo]

Marahuyo Project Eps 5 & 6 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Lorie decided to befriend King and Venice, and joined their club. When someone spray painted the mural of Ino’s ancestor, the other kids and dean blamed King, but Lorie stepped forward to claim she did it as well. The queer club was punished with community service to clean the beach, and the three bonded over their time together. We learned that Lorie’s queer awakening is complicated by her anger at her father’s infidelity (and men as a whole as a result). We learned about a young person who died on the beach, revealed to be a close friend of Venice’s and Archie named Christina. Archie refuses to use Christina’s name because he believes it was her queerness that got her killed, and it’s why he’s trying to protect Venice by demanding she withdraw from her expression of herself. We also learned that Ino’s dad likely left their family for a queer relationship, Ino is admittedly falling for King, and his mom told him directly to not be gay. Also, King’s mom cut his hair in his sleep and I am still pissed about it.

Episode 5: Hunyango

I do love the bits of history and mythology we get at the beginning of each episode. I liked how this one highlighted the journeys of many of the characters.

Few things more powerful than a bunch of out kids enjoying an early morning strut. Poor Lorena, though. She wasn’t ready for this divide between her and Lili.

Oh good. It was just Ino with a torch. I clearly play too much d20 fantasy.

The kids are right. Naming things is hard.

Growing up, my dad thought I might become a priest.

I respect this line that Venice is walking in the conversation with Archie to reach through his walls.

Oh wow. Archie is so stressed that he’s scratched up the whole back of his neck. That’s uncomfortable.

Aw, Venice. I’m enjoying the brainstorming session. It’s good to model what planning communication with people not predisposed to listen to you. I also love that they decided to build their plan around the local context of Marahuyo and then immediately transitioned to Lorie legitimately doing research about her home.

Lorie, your friend looks worried. Can you not look at her lips like you wanna kiss her right now?

Whoa, what’s going on with Lili? Are we going beyond the Q in the acronym?

Ino is also correct. You cannot frame a presentation around a local context without directly engaging with the locals who are the context.

🎶 Flashback! Who’s that?? 🎶

Oh, Ino, what have you been through that you thought to ask before hugging King?

I’m very curious about the statue they uncovered on the beach.

Hold on, did Venice add Christina’s name to hers as a way to honor her? I need to lay down for a bit.

Ah, so we’re definitely going into rare presentation with Lili. I am seated (once I get off the floor from the last bullet).

Oh no. Please stop showing me Archie’s neck. It’s a good visual to show how these internalized pressures and traumas express in physical ways, but oof.

Episode 6: Sirena

Super amped about these kids taking the research component seriously within their specific connections. Lorie got info that her dad has access to as the mayor. Venice got info from the church through Archie. King got equipment so they can conduct interviews. Now they’re all gathered and reviewing the information they have.

“Joining us as an ally.” Wow, so many points to this show for reminding people that sometimes an ally is someone who isn’t ready to or can’t come out. In any case, they are with us in the movement.

Poor Venice. She just doesn’t know things.

Hold on…I think I recognize the Lola Puri actress. I will look her up when we get to the credits.

Good job on this show for priming people with the earlier lesson about babaylans for this reveal here.

Boys, are we doing a gay pinkie touch during the critical history lesson?

Hey, this is really good. They have an oral history now connecting a prized tradition to the yearnings of a respected ancestor for another man who turned on him in a cruel way. Unfortunately, the villain of this story happens to be one of Ino’s ancestors. Sad, but unsurprising, that a homophobe gained prominence for outing and robbing a queer man.

I’m really touched by how all of the kids had such an emotional reaction to the story and how it reflected some of their own feelings. I deeply appreciate this show for letting me see others experience how queer history feels for me.

Goddamit, Marco, I was enjoying a complicated, difficult moment. Can you fuck off?

Thank you, Lili, for destroying this man. Make sure to hydrate.

Who is this man at the dinner table in Ino’s house? It’s probably not the dad, right?

And there it is again: Venice telling Archie that courage isn’t built around coming out. He still helped them where it counted.

I’m so sick of this priest.

I do love Juvy. She’s usually so correct and King actually listens to her.

“Who are you?” “Incorrect answer! I already know your name.”

On the real. I’m so proud of Ino. The first person you have to say it to is yourself.

Oh noooo. This is probably actually Ino’s dad. This scene is about to get even uglier.

Mmmm. I don’t like Lili giving up her shorts and then immediately going to a scene where she has to get rough with Marco.

Wow, this is horrible. What a way to end this episode.

I did recognize the Lola actress! That's Angie Castrence! I knew it was Gavreel’s homophobic aunt from Gameboys 2! This was a great 6th episode with very clear ideas and goals. This episode focused completely on coming out, who it’s for, and whether it’s necessary. I like that we had three characters all scared to come out, but it’s eating away at all of them. Archie is literally tearing his neck apart in anxiety. Ino is say gay and in love that it’s leaking out of him, to the point that he was forced to confront his own mom. Lili has been outed by Marco. I love that all of our out characters reassured our closeted characters that they didn’t need to come out. Can’t believe I’ve got two shows in contention for show of the year right now.

[autism-aint-a-flawtism]

Anybody been noticing the evolution of Deku's overall aesthetic? Like in terms of heroic aesthetic. Each hero generally has their own aesthetic. All Might had a Superman-esque aesthetic. Not exactly Superman, but the closest thing imaginable. All Might always tried to inspire hope. He always did that on purpose.

Endeavor later learned how to replicate All Might's hope aesthetic, but his is more centered around "Hope for Victory" in contrast to All Might's "Hope for Peace"

Notice Endeavor constantly looks like he's chock full of pride? I'd almost give post-"Holy shit I'm a terrible father" Endeavor a Vegeta-esque vibe.

Stars and Stripes is somehow a combination of both

Horikoshi loves to play with aesthetics. One of my favorites being Shigaraki.

Beginning Shiggy: Obviously looks like a villain, thought he was going to shoot a dog.

War Shiggy: Elegant. Almost like Nana Shimura. If I never read BNHA, I thought he would've been a hero

But my point is, Deku's design and aesthetic has been reflective of his arc throughout the series.

Deku Mk I: green, doesn't know what he's doing. Has no realist ideals. Simply an idealist.

Notice how frail he looks despite the fact we KNOW he's built like a triple decker bus. It's supposed to represent how out of his element he is.

Deku Mk II: More experienced, learning from his mistakes. He's becoming a more traditional member of hero society.

You can tell by the more thick look of the suit that Deku is beginning to look more competent, but you can tell that he's uncomfortable with this. Ignoring the fact that Deku canonically didn't like the mods to his mom's suit, you can tell he isn't comfortable yet.

Deku Mk III: Finally used to his own self. He has become the pinnacle of traditional hero society

This is a Deku that visually looks more complete. Deku MK II had too many loose lines. His gloves rising up to his bicep makes him easier to look at. He looks less confusing to look at. This is a Deku that made his first real independent step. He went from punching to kicking. Notice this is the costume Deku uses in his first official villain fight.

Infinite Deku

Right here we get Deku's first legit "All Might" moment. Where visually he looks like a symbol of hope

I used a still from the anime here because the colors and poses pop more in the anime than in the manga. This is a Deku that if I didn't know who he was I'd assume he's the main character

Deku MK IV: Same general deal as Deku MK III

The Air Force gloves eventually help him become more of a visual vesself for the OFA users, and that's the most significant visual difference. This is a Deku that looks like a good, fine, member of hero society, but he doesn't look like symbol of peace material. He just looks like a strong background character

Vigilante Deku: Basically a villain. Crap your pants terrifying. Beaten, broken. But, he looks the most like a hero. Granted, in the way Batman looks like a hero. But he looks like his true hero. All he had to do was reject traditional notions of hero society

notice how Deku is slowly looking more and more unhinged throughout the vigilante arc

Isolating himself and acting like a "true hero" is driving Deku insane. So while his vigilante era is the most akin to traditional comic book heroes, he can't maintain that.

Final Deku: An amalgamation of Mk IV and Vigilante

Aesthetically speaking this is Deku one step before he becomes the symbol of peace. Sure, his costume isn't super visually distinct, but, Horikoshi makes up for that with how he's posing and framing Deku. I have a feeling that Deku is going to get one more redesign. But as of right now, this is a Deku that looks closest to a Symbol of Peace. He can still be unhinged like Vigilante, but can look just as heroic as Infinite.

Thanks for listening to my ramble

[khunwriting]

[Cigarette Break]

Synopsis: While skipping classes, you get a nicotine craving and end up dragging your two best friends with you. 

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Naughty Busters!Ichiro Yamada x Reader; Naughty Busters!Kuko Harai x Reader

While hanging out with your best friends, the usual nicotine itch that scratched at your throat was kicking back up again, and you were beginning to get antsy as a result. You were pretty vocal about needing a smoke break, and your two skipping buddies were okay with tagging along to the bathroom with you. However, it was usually a trip that you took on your own, so you didn’t quite realize how cramped it would’ve been with two more people in the same stall. 

It was awkward to stand in the tiny stall, and the three of you had to figure out quickly how to situate yourselves comfortably for the next handful of minutes till you got your craving satisfied. But with how you three were…

“You’re taking up so much room! Sit your ass down, Ichiro!” 

“I’m working on it, Kuko! Ugh, you reek, [Name],” “Fuck you, Ichi!”

…It was a surprise you haven’t gotten caught by the teachers.

With that thought in the back of your head, you had to resist the urge to stomp on Ichiro’s foot, his comment shooting a spike of irritation through your veins. With the way he was sitting on the toilet, Ichiro could easily spread his legs and push you into Kuko, who leaned against the stall door. If that were to happen, you were sure that it would’ve only gotten louder and end up with you guys getting caught. So instead, you just shot the taller boy a glare over your shoulder and tried to get comfortable between nearly straddling Ichiro’s leg and pressing yourself against Kuko’s body.

“It’s too fucking cramped!” The red haired monk hissed next to your ear, his warm breath hitting your neck. Peering over at the shorter boy, your eyes met with his narrowed gold ones, looking a tad annoyed. “Do you have to smoke in here!? Couldn’t we do it outside?”

“And get caught smoking on school grounds? Yeah, right,” You barked out with a huff. “Look I’m cool with skipping, but I’m not trying to get expelled. My mom will beat my ass if I get kicked out now,” 

“Yeah, but it’s super uncomfortable. Can’t stretch my legs with you guys in front of me,” Ichiro complained as he let his head lean against the wall behind him. At his words, both you and Kuko craned your head to give him a heated look. 

“Not my fault they make the only bathroom with a window have the smallest stall,” You snapped, jerking your head to motion at the window just above your head. With a strangled groan, your eyes darted between your best friends, scrunching up your nose. “Why are you guys complaining? You wanted to be in here with me!” 

Hearing your words, the two boys stiffened and darted their gazes away from your scowl. You realized you weren’t going to get any answers from them, making you roll your eyes and take your chance to finally get your smoke break.

You reached into your pocket, took out your pack, and placed a single cigarette between your lips. Letting it dangle for a few seconds, you grabbed your lighter, bringing it to your cigarette, not noticing the two pairs of eyes watching your movements. Upon lighting up the end, you took a deep inhale, holding it for a beat, before releasing it into the window above you, careful to not blow it into your friends’ faces. 

Instantly, it felt like that annoying scratch was ebbing away and the tension forming in your chest felt lighter. You couldn’t help the smile that stretched around the cigarette as you continued to inhale the smoke a few more times. Noticing that your usual loud-mouth friends were oddly quiet for once, you took the chance to tilt your head to look at Ichiro.

Said boy was still leaning back in his spot, his hands disappearing into the pockets of his hoodie. Though you don’t miss the way his eyes lingered on your mouth, staring at the cigarette sitting in between your lips. Your eyebrow quirked up in curiosity, taking the stick out of your mouth and extending your arm out to him. 

“You wanna try?” You asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. Ichiro blinked a few times, his gaze darting between your cigarette and your eyes. Then his expression scrunched up and his lips pursed into a frown.

“I’m a minor,” He stated simply, earning a deadpan stare from you, seeing as you both were the same age. 

“C’mon, you can beat up dudes for money, but you can’t smoke a cig?” You snorted, causing Kuko to snicker softly behind you. The boy’s cheek began to tint red and your eyes instantly took note of the rosy hue. Unable to hold back your smirk, you placed your cigarette back between your lips, speaking with a teasing lilt. “You’re so cute, Ichi,”

You turn back to chuckle with Kuko, causing the eldest brother to thrum with embarrassment. Without a second thought, Ichirou shifts his legs forward. His leg knocks into the back of your knees, making you nearly topple into the monk if his hands didn’t dart out to steady your taller form. His hands rested firmly at your sides while your hands shot out to plant next to Kuko’s head. The impact made the stall walls rattle as you tried to steady yourself.

“Shit, shit, sorry!” You apologized, pushing away from the monk’s personal space once you could. Your expression shifted to a vexed glower, turning to snap at the laughing boy. “Man, Ichi, what the hell!”  

Kuko could only watch as you finally stomped on your friend’s foot. Ichiro instantly bit down on his bottom lip to prevent the loud curses from slipping out, and he kneeled over to nurse his hurt foot. Standing over him, you let out another drag from your cigarette, flicking the ashes out the window. You let out a click of your tongue before turning to Kuko, holding out your cigarette.

“What about you, Ku? Wanna try?” Kuko let out a smirk, highly amused how you ignored the daggers Ichiro was sending your way. “I’m a monk. We’re not supposed to indulge in alcohol or drugs,” He shrugged, folding his arms across his chest. You blinked at him with an unimpressed purse of your lips. 

“And you’re not supposed to use violence either,” With your free hand, you began counting off other things. “Or hold money. Or swear. Or treat your elders like shit. Or—” 

“Shut up!” Kuko rasped out, rolling his eyes at your laughter. He reached his hand out, wiggling his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Hand it over,”

You sent him a cheeky grin and placed the cigarette carefully between his fingers. Kuko stared at the object for a few seconds, not quite sure what to do. He had seen you done multiple times, but never actually attempted himself. He tried to recall the motion of going through the actions in his head and decided to try it himself finally.

Bringing the butt of the cigarette to his lips, Kuko took a deep inhale. Instantly, the smoke filled his mouth and it was all he could taste and smell. It’s nearly nauseating and he can feel tears welling up in his eyes. Unable to hold it back anymore, the monk begins hacking, his throat feeling incredibly irritated now.

“This shit fucking burns!” He spat out in between coughs. Even as you reach over to rub his back, the searing sensation in his chest still lingers. “How do you enjoy this crap?!” 

“It’s ‘cause you sucked it in too hard, too fast, Ku,” You answered with a small, apologetic smile. You took back your cigarette, bringing it close to your lips. “Let me help you out. When I’m done, just hold onto your breath for a sec, okay?”

Kuko nodded slowly, unsure of what you were planning. His gold eyes darted to Ichiro behind you, who peered around your body with a curious stare. But the monk’s attention was taken back to you as your free hand cupped his chin. You gave him a sweet smile and took a light drag of your cigarette. 

Then suddenly, your lips were on him. 

Kuko’s mind went instantly blank, never having felt someone’s lips on his own until now. But he vaguely felt your tongue pushing against his mouth and he unconsciously parted his lips. Then the familiar sensation of smoke filled his mouth, and that’s when he recalled your words.

You pulled away from the monk, watching Kuko follow your instructions. His chest stopped moving and he didn’t look as uncomfortable as he did just a few moments prior. 

“Breathe in normally, then exhale,” You commanded. Kuko did as he was told, and, slowly, white smoke left his lips in light wisps. You grinned widely, patting your friend’s cheek. “Good boy. Better now?”

“Shit still hurts,” He muttered with his chest still burning and his heart hammering against his ribcage.

“Yeah, well you get used to it after a while,” You mused as you gave him back his space. You turned back to look at your other friend, noticing his tinted cheeks and gaping mouth. His eyes were lingering back on your lips, blatantly staring. 

“Wanna try, Ichi?” Ichiro jumped at your voice, pressing his lips together. Your tongue slipped out to lick your bottom lip, amused that his gaze honed in on the action. You waved the small remaining bit of your cigarette, gesturing towards him. “I can do the same to you,”

“I’m a minor…” Ichiro mumbled, his heterochromatic eyes darting anywhere but you and Kuko. You chuckled at his words, trying to muffle the sound with your hand. Even as you did your best to silence the noise, the sound still came out nice to the two within range and they couldn’t help but join in on the laughter. Looking back at this memory in the future, you wished you could relive these small, much simpler times with both of your friends.

But you know you might never get that chance again.

[lunaxamans]

{ In the Beginning... }

Summary: An early interaction between Emma and the boys. In which Marc and Steven find out that Emma comes from an abusive home like them. Pairing: Original Character { Emma Harper } x Marc Spector; bits of Emma Harper x Steven Grant  Contents: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship, twin flame relationship, OC is deeply psychic and can communicate with the boys telepathically due in part to twin flame bond  Warnings: mentions of severe mental illness { i.e. psychosis, PTSD, anxiety, panic, depression, OCD, mood disorder }, mentions of abuse, inaccurate DID { as is common with MK fic }, self-loathing, self-blame  Word Count: 1.1k

Author’s Notes:

This is written in what my writing partner and I refer to as God!Mode. Essentially it's the characters outside of all of their different Universes and them at their core selves -- which for this reason sometimes will refer to real people but very little { i.e. in this one I, myself am mentioned, but very minorly }. As if their God!Versions. This is sort of their truest of Canons.

Also I meant to write this up properly which I probably still will at some point but I wanted to get it posted for @romanarose for something I intended to help them with.

Emma Harper is the original character that will star in all of my fics with the boys. I’ve been writing them for a while now and the relationship is super established unless stated otherwise. Emma && the boys have what is known as a twin flame union – think ultimate soulmate of soulmates / two halves of the same soul; you only get one of these and they are *extremely* rare, typically reincarnate with each other over thousands of years on this planet, if not before even coming to this planet from other star systems. For this reason, the four of them are able to telepathically communicate which is also common with this kind of bond, among other things.

Emma: -coming down the hallway, grimacing as she looks back toward the stairs, calling softly, so softly in fact, that she’s barely audible- “Steven?” 

Steven: -from in the bedroom, nose buried in a book as he, too, tries to ignore what’s going on downstairs, calling gently back- “in here, love!” 

Emma: -steps into the room, rounding the corner and standing at the foot of the bed, fidgeting nervously- 

Steven: -immediately concerned, setting the book down and removing his reading glasses- “what is it? did something--” -pauses, taking in her appearance as more noise comes from downstairs, suddenly understanding- “elle’s mum again?” 

Emma: -nods quickly, not making eye contact- “she-- um--” -shifts uncomfortably, crossing her arms over her chest- “she reminds me of mine—my mom, I mean...she’s also...”

Steven: -swallows, trying to put the pieces together, not wanting to assume, speaking softly- “...difficult?” 

Emma: -cringes as if she’s taken a physical blow, correcting him quietly, her voice barely there- “abusive…" 

Steven: -his heart stops as she seems frozen in place- 

{ Marc: ‘Steven let me front...’ } 

Steven: -swallows again, giving a small nod- 

Emma: -before he can speak, she breaks the silence, tucking her hair behind her ears, keeping her gaze downcast, her voice small- “can I?”  

Steven: -realizes she wants to sit down, nodding profusely- “of course!” 

Emma: -nods with him, climbing onto the bed and scooting a little closer but keeping a fair distance, rolling her lips in, in that way that causes her dimples to prick into her cheeks, still avoiding his eyes- 

{ Marc: ‘Steven!’ } 

Steven: -clears his throat quietly- “Marc would like to speak with you, is that okay, love?” 

Emma: -nods again quickly, keeping her lips pressed together- 

Marc: -moves to the front, taking only a fraction of a second to adjust before he sits up straighter, shifting closer to her, his hands rising and moving toward Emma, who flinches at first, causing him to pause, turning his hands to show her he isn’t going to hurt her, when she nods in silent permission to continue, his fingers come to comb through her hair, coming around to cradle her face at her jaw, dipping his head to search out her eyes- 

Emma: -relaxes a little as his hands move through her hair and come around to hold her face gently, rolling her lips in further again, her eyes meeting his briefly before shying away from his again- 

Marc: -his heart squeezes in his chest, aching for her and everything he already feels for her, when he does find his voice, it comes out soft and raspy, filled with complete and utter awe- “how are you real?” 

Emma: -her eyes flicker to his, a slight furrow coming between her eyebrows, confused by the way he says it as if she were some kind of miracle- 

Marc: -holds her eyes for a moment before his gaze scales over her features, leaning in hesitantly, his lips finally capturing hers- 

{ Steven: -indignant, even if he’s ignored- ‘I coulda done that, mate...’ } 

Emma: -seems to only melt into Marc, reaching to gently grasp at his shirt as if weakly trying to hold him there- 

Marc: -when she doesn’t back away—instead leaning into him further, he uses his hold on her to pull her closer, deepening the kiss for just a moment before withdrawing, just enough to brush his nose into hers, touching his forehead to hers, frowning gently into her, his voice barely above a whisper, still sounding completely awestruck and floored at the way they seem fit together- “it feels like—you were made specifically for us—and we were just—waiting to find you...--does that sound completely crazy?” 

Emma: -her nose moves into his when it meets hers, turning her forehead into his, when he speaks again, all she can do is gently nod, likewise dumbfound and only meaning to agree with the former statement not realizing about the question-  

Marc: -chuckles softly, teasing her lightly, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks- “it does?” 

Emma: -just kinda Stuck in the moment, still not fully comprehending him- “yes--” -seems to suddenly realize- “I mean—no!” -pouting softly, giving him a Look- 

Marc: -can’t help another quiet chuckle as she struggles and the warmth fills in his chest, raising one hands to slowly comb through her hair again- 

Emma: -summons a deeper breath, releasing it in an almost silent sigh, correcting herself- “it doesn’t sound crazy...and I know crazy...” -rolls her eyes at herself- 

Marc: -immediately shakes his head as she finishes, frowning deeply, searching out her eyes again- “hey, don’t do that…" 

Emma: -looks at him in confusion, still scowling in disappointment but at herself, asking quietly- “do what?” 

Marc: “don’t talk about my girl like that—” 

{ Steven: -only to be ignored again- ‘Our girl...’ } 

Emma: -still frowning at him, acting like she didn’t just make a joke at her own expense, deep deep pout, In Baby- “like what?” 

Marc: -scowling back at her with that same profound wonder, even as hope blossoms in his chest that she didn’t deny his claim on her, releasing one hand on her only to bring it back to gently graze the back of his knuckles over her cheek, all but whispering again- “like she isn’t the most perfect girl we’ve ever known…"

Emma: -her chest tightens with the familiar ache of attachment, trying to take another deep breath through her nose and force it through her lungs, releasing it heavily even as it shakes at the ends, her voice tremoring over the single word- “o-oh…" -she fights to keep the smile down that threatens to overtake her face, her dimples betraying her secret, her eyes avoiding his shyly- 

Marc: -unsure of how this all happened, just completely winded- “god you really are-- perfect…" 

Emma: -the shy smile only grows, giving him a gentle, playful shove, but not putting anything behind it- 

Marc: -can barely bear the ache in his chest, a small smirk of his own threatening to take over- “ya know—Steven's gonna strongarm me soon if I don’t give you back...” -his eyes falling in disappointment- 

Emma: -her eyes immediately snap to his, chewing the inside of her lips and gripping his shirt tighter as if to keep him there with her- “stay…" 

Marc: -his own eyes fix themselves to hers once more, again dumbfound- “yeah?” 

{ Steven: -still seemingly being ignored- “bugger...last place it seems...” } 

Emma: -immediately nodding- “yeah…" -shy, dimply smile, pausing before poking him firmly in the chest a few times- “and tell Steven no one is last place here...” 

{ Steven: -would be blushing if he were in control of the body- ‘oh!’ } 

Marc: -scoffs quietly- “think you just told him yourself...” 

Emma: -gives one more firm shove into his chest- “goo--!” 

Marc: -catches her hands when they shove at him and pulls her abruptly to himself, his lips reclaiming hers before she can even finish the word- 

[funarisjournal]

The Beginning (Comic Edition, Pt 2)

Saved the rest of this revisit for today's slow periods at work. I liveblogged on Twitter, but this is where I really get to write my thoughts out. No tiny character limits!

Anyway, if you haven't seen the first part, I suggest you check it out first because I'm going in all "Now, where was I?" Style.

[Again, my essays are more for those that have already read the story over once or twice and are looking for some deeper analyzations. Spoilers may be mentioned, so you are warned!]

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Kasuga just opened the door and there was her neighbor, the one she had awkwardly talked to the previous evening.

Repeat photos, yay!

Anyway, there are two things going on here.

Kasuga opening the door to see who it is. She sees it's her neighbor and they had that convo, so she's steeling herself. She knows she can just close the door if it gets uncomfortable, but she is willing to listen because food, you say? She's (warily) listening...

Nomoto, meanwhile, is a nervous wreck because, well, how do you word this?? She is more nervous about the food proposal than Kasuga! Even on the next page, the nervousness stems from the weird-to-Nomoto request for someone to help finish off the meal she made tonight. Like, this is how she's truly introducing herself to her neighbor with little to no prior interaction. "Hi, how you doing? Wanna eat my food?"

She is well aware it sounds weird and maybe even creepy but...but what else is she gonna do with all that food when she's got no social circles or community knowledge under her belt?

We know how she acts when others (especially men) frame her passion as great wife material, but when she has to talk about it? Anxiety through the roof. She's judging herself and being self-conscious. In a way, I like how this isn't "Kasuga is a big, cold, scary woman" and more "Nomoto is super self-conscious and doesn't know how to be social in-person anymore (because she hasn't had friends since her school days and that's almost 15-ish years now, based on what I've inferred from other pages re: her current age and knowing the comic is basically Present Day)

Poor Nomoto has a lot of baggage herself. It's not as obvious in these first chapters, but she was clearly molded by folks who definitely harped on the traditional values and other expectations of adulthood around her too much....NOMOTO'S MOM.

But...I digress. So, there's something interesting to note here. I don't think I've seen people point out this specific panel. Namely, that last one, Kasuga's eye.

Kasuga loves to eat. We know this, even new readers get that impression pretty quick (and the cover, of course). She wants to enjoy all the food in the world, probably even the mediocre stuff (to which she can make future purchasing/eating-out options when she can afford it)

As you get to know her, and you come back to these early pages, you realize this food stunned her.

While we know Nomoto's food is delicious and others have voiced their satisfaction with it, Kasuga was able to taste an extra special ingredient that night. Yes, I'm being a little cheesy here. This special, "invisible" ingredient that has been missing in her life resonated within, and she responded with the most emphatic eating that, in turn, stunned Nomoto in feelings she hasn't felt before.

Fun thing to note with Nomoto in the center of the page here: based on the way it's drawn, this woman is having multiple things firing up inside her at full blast; not just the sight of someone enjoying her massive portion of food, but seeing HOW MUCH they're enjoying it and just never experiencing this before. It's new, it's stunning (multiple definitions)...she is just this side of BSOD-ing.

They have been cooking and eating with something missing all this time. Put them together and it's like something opens up within both. They had what the other was missing and they were LITERALLY NEIGHBORS...but it took a chance encounter in an elevator to start the connection

The next parts are basically Nomoto's raisom d'etre waking up from its slumber. She remembers why she took up cooking in the first place...

And while we can attribute these panels as a little lighthearted, comedic moment as the chapter comes to a close, consider this: the birds, bunnies, and deer never came...and neither did any people as she grew up and began her cooking journey. She found a "workaround" via sharing online, but it's not like her old dream. She said at the beginning how her food is missing an audience that will fully enjoy it (not just as posts). She has never had anyone around to enjoy her food until Kasuga agreed to finish off this plate.

And this is where I realized something.

....Did Nomoto even cook when she lived with her folks? Did she cook back then and they didn't enjoy it? Did she only cook for herself and that's how she learned? Or maybe her mom was like "leave all the cooking to me" so she never had a chance to show off?

Like this raises a lot of questions that I wasn't expecting to have as I reread this chapter. The future nightmare scene in Vol 2 doesn't help matters, though it gives us further insight about her friendships and her being pushed into heteronormative adulthood even at a young age. Sure, it's a nightmare, with some fantastical, nightmareish transitions, but a lot of those scenes appear to be based on past experiences she had, including the orientation quiz BUT I digress. Again! That can be for another essay!

Anyway! Whoo! What a ride, eh? And I still plan to do an essay over how Episode 1 of the drama covered their beginnings, so look forward to that!

[writingforfishes]

Otto and Atticus Chronicles Part 5: To Sleep Perchance to Hiccup...and Cuddle

Preface:

This fic was inspired by someone who messaged me some amazing prompts! I combined two of them.

- Atticus isn’t in a hiatus but they also don’t really feel like masturbating, it’s pretty early in the morning and they just woke up. Otto gets decently fast but not super uncomfortable hiccups and they just cuddle in bed and spoon a little maybe

- Atty watching Otto hiccup in his sleep with just so much love in their heart. God they have the best, cutest, most wonderful partner in the entire world

This fic has a LOOOT of exposition before things get started. I sincerely apologize but I couldn't help myself. My obsession with fleshing out the lives of my characters is deep. So give it around 1500 words to get to any content of a hiccup nature. Maybe I'll put a symbol when the hiccups start so those who are here mainly for that can find them easier.

This work is pretty safe for work/tumblr. There are mentions of arousal but nothing overt so I won't be putting it behind a filter.

Brief mention of Otto's sobriety, but it's blink and you'll miss it. Contains notes of somnolence appreciation, but not somno specifically. Just an adoration and admiration of sleep/iness as a form of intimate vulnerability. (Any arousal is from the hiccups not the sleep.) But I suppose it could be read as somnophilia as well and that wouldn't bother me. (Here! Have my art and make it yours!)

I can't think of any specific content warnings but if you feel there needs to be feel free and message me.

Anyway, on with it!

(An alert to where the hiccups start is in red font 😉)

***

Otto had been out all day. Sometimes he tended to be a little enthusiastic with his scheduling, especially on home visits. Rationally, he knew that home visits would go longer than he planned. He also knew that inevitably that would mean rushing to the next visit with a shorter period in between. But in the enthusiastic moments of conceiving finishing every home visit the same day and only having to leave home one day as opposed to several days he overlooked that rationality and threw caution to the wind.

Were his windy caution tossing days of scheduling too many clock repair and maintenance visits much tamer than before sobriety? Certainly. But there were still consequences and one of those consequences was only seeing Atticus at the beginning and end of the day. The other consequence was forgoing healthy food for convenient food. There was yet another consequence to come, but as of this moment in his timeline, that particular one hadn’t been experienced yet.

So off to Bert to check out his grandfather clock. Bert didn’t talk much. Otto and him exchanged short notes on the clock, some noncommittal discussion on the weather, an update on sport scores, and that was that. Otto was able to pick up a salad and sandwich on the way to his next visit.

This was a new customer, Beatrice “Bea”, who had come into possession of a tall clock that was, honestly, spectacular. They were younger despite what their name suggested, in their 30’s, and had inherited this particular clock from their mom’s side of the family. They had no idea what they had. Whoever had been servicing the clock before him had done a pretty good job. Doing some light maintenance and putting it into beat and talking for a bit about maintenance they could do at home, recommending some tools, and teaching them about the clock was a delightful experience.

Bea had a cornucopia of antiques, both inherited and sought out. Otto could tell they were of a mind of living in a decade that wasn’t theirs and Otto could certainly understand and appreciate the anachronistic identity. He had often been teased that he’d been born at 40 years old and was living life now as an 80 year old, tendency of grumpiness included. He didn’t hate the implication, honestly. And Atticus was a fantastic enabler of him embracing that quality. Not only were they patient with his rants about modern technology and dying craftsmanship, but they often fanned the flames of his frustration for their own amusement.

It actually took a while for Otto to realize he was being teased. And when he confronted Atticus they admitted it, apologized, and promised they would stop if he felt made fun of. Really, they just enjoyed seeing that passion riled up and supported the basis of his arguments. After some consideration Otto decided that he was fine with being teased, but only because he was supported. After a while it was discovered that they both had a tendency to tease each other and, despite neither of them having had a relationship quite like it, they seemed to thrive in the playfulness. But, of course, if either one of them felt like it was too much or they weren’t in the mood for it, communication was always given and the energy always shifted to sustain what the other needed. No hurt feelings. It was the most honest and safest relationship Otto had ever found himself in. Then again, his track record was pretty grim when it came to healthy relationships in general. Regardless, it far exceeded the fairly low bar he had to contend with historically.

After Bea was a string of customers including a business who often called on him to manage the street clocks when they fell behind, needed service, or there was a time change. After that was a jeweler who used his services when they got an older watch that needed repairing. The owner and employees knew how to adjust sizes, change batteries, and a million other small things that one didn’t know jewelers could do until they needed the service, but older automatic watches were something they often outsourced. He was happy to be a local contact.

And, last on his list because he knew it would take the longest, was Millie. Otto loved talking to Millie. She would feed him cookies and coffee and sometimes new snacks she had picked up at the international store that she was trying for the first time and wanted to experience with someone else.

Millie’s children had moved away from the city so she often didn’t have anyone with her. She lived alone, her husband having passed a few years prior, with her two cats and her house full of gorgeous clocks. Millie’s family had a robust history of clock repair and clock making. Her great-great-grandmother worked on Black Forest clocks in Germany. And though Millie, herself, had never pursued a career in horology, her father had been a master jeweler locally as well as a well-known handyman. Millie often compared Otto to her father in both temperament and skill. It was an extreme compliment to Otto as he had looked up her father after he met her for the first time and was astounded at all the man had accomplished and how instilled his practice had become in the city. Everyone seemed to bring up her father’s name at some point in the maker community. Even those who had been transplants to the city knew of his work and skill.

Otto probably knew more about Millie than he had of his own mother. And, in a lot of ways, Millie filled that maternal role the way his mother never had. The octogenarian (in the genuine sense as opposed to the assigned sense Otto was referred as) was refreshingly open and inclusive. Her family had lived lives of oppression and minority. The lessons she chose to take from that reflected in showing everyone love and acceptance. How quick she had learned Atticus’ pronouns was proof positive that if someone put enough thought and caring into wanting to respect someone then it was just that much easier to do so correctly.

As predicted, he spent a few hours with Millie. It was clock winding day and Millie always invited Otto over to help her. And while it had been an incredibly fulfilling visit, as it always was, he had only consumed cookies, coffee, and a spicy curry-like snack Millie had opened and put in bowls for them. And, well, Otto did enjoy spicy food.

Otto had texted Atticus that he wouldn’t be back in time for dinner so to go ahead and reheat last nights dinner for themselves. He was going to get something from a restaurant on the way home. Atticus made a tease about his food choices today and recommended an antacid before bed tonight. Otto sighed as he looked up from the text. His partner was probably right. He could already feel some bloating and pressure from the curry snack.

When he finally got back home he found Atticus typing furiously on their laptop on the couch in the living room. Their small body was balled up, face inches from the screen. A notebook with writing scrawled on the pages was beside them.

Otto had told them many times before that they were free to use his desk when he wasn’t in, but this almost fetal position they took while engaged in the story they were writing seemed preferable to good posture. He’d have to remember to offer a shoulder massage tomorrow. Tomorrow. Which was to be blissfully free of any form of work-related activity. He sighed, getting their attention.

“Hey,” he said, sheepishly.

“Hello...the shadow of my husband. You look beat,” Atticus said, suppressing a yawn that seemed sympathetic in the timing, and stretching with audible pops in their neck and back.

“No offense, spouse, but you don’t look much better. Which means...you made progress?” Otto said, recognizing the passionate drive their typing had presented when he walked in.

“Oh god, so much. And if I stop now I feel like I’ll lose it, honestly,” they replied.

“Then...as it is almost midnight I think I should probably wish you goodnight and head to bed,” Otto said, regretfully.

“Is it really? Damn. No, right. I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve got such a thing going...ugh!” Atticus replied, desperately gesturing to the screen.

“No, no. That wasn’t meant to be a dig. Besides, I’m exhausted. I have the whole day free tomorrow. We’ll make up for today, okay?”

“Yeah,” Atticus said with a smile. “Okay. I love you…”

“Love you too, my little comma,” Otto said with a laugh.

“Oh, am I scrunching again? Ugh, yeah. Okay, straightening out now. Figuratively speaking. Well literally...bodily...not sexually. It...you get it,” they said, brain firmly planted on the story and not on making much headway in any other forms of intelligence at the moment.

“Goodnight,” he said, shaking his head in amusement. He put a kiss on their forehead as he went upstairs hearing an echo of his goodnight from behind him as he climbed the stairs. If he didn’t get to bed quickly he would faceplant before he did. Oh and that antacid? It had been a good thought.

A few hours later Atticus’ mind had finally insisted that it could no longer function to make words into sentences on the seemingly too bright screen. So, saving the work on the hard drive, saving the work on a cloud source they paid for, and saving the work on an external hard drive they uncurled themselves from the couch and got ready for bed.

Atty hadn’t always slept in the same bed as Otto. When they first moved in neither one was sure about being able to share a bed. But as the relationship deepened and they became more comfortable with being physically near one another, and then a bit obsessive of it at times, both of them found they preferred sharing a bed. But usually on nights where Atticus was getting to bed so late the writer would tuck themselves into the loft bed to avoid disturbing their partner.

Considering they hadn’t really seen Otto all day and that Otto didn’t have any commitments later that morning Atticus leaned toward the side of selfishness in wanting to sleep near him tonight. So, stripping down to boxer briefs, they crept into the room and turned on a warm lamp light on their side of the bed.

Otto was not usually a deep sleeper but they could tell by his face that he was utterly catatonic-seeming as he hadn’t even flinched when the light had come on. Atticus’ back-sleeper husband had his hands lightly resting over his chest and his lips very gently parted as he breathed softly with just the slightest of soft whistle as breath moved in and out of his mouth. Atticus smiled.

(Hiccups start here, you adorable scanner looking for hiccups!)

They shuffled their body into the covers and then perked up, back cracking a little as they straightened it abruptly. What was that sound? A radar went off in their brain usually saved for picking up the sound of a hiccup. But that didn’t make any sense. They waited a little and felt a small shudder in the bed and there the sound was again. Like a very soft ‘uck’ from the side of...Otto.

Suspiciously Atty turned toward the man and watched him patiently. It didn’t take long for their baffled hunch to be proven.

Otto’s body spasmed beside them, chest pulling and stomach pooching out quickly. His neck punched in above his clavicle. At the movement a soft ‘uck’ left his lips, croaky and deep. The bed gave a tremor and so did Atticus. Did he genuinely have the hiccups as he slept?

A few more minutes watching him intensely proved that to be true. Some of the hiccups were soundless, his body jolting. In the several minute span of watching Atticus saw rapid hiccups as well as solitary ones that were more evenly spaced. And while him hiccuping with such soft abandon was incredibly confusingly arousing, it was also heartwarmingly endearing.

At no point did Otto’s face indicate he was in any form of wakefulness during the attack. It was the picture of peace aside from a few twitches that were normal as someone slept. A few times his head moved side to side with a particularly hard hiccup, but overall the hiccups seemed to be integrated into his sleep as much as snoring would be. And, as Otto’s body temperature ran warmer, he rarely had anything but a light sheet on and that had long since been pushed down his body during the night so that his white undershirt laid softly against the perfect silhouette of his chest and belly.

Atticus was overwhelmed. But, they were also teetering on exhaustion. It was a very confusing place to be, energy-wise. For a good long while they just sat there staring at the event of Otto hiccuping in his sleep. Soft ‘huk’s, rapid silents, sometimes louder hiccups and doubles likes ‘huck-UCK’ would materialize startling Atticus but not having any effect on Otto other than to jostle his head about a little.

The hiccups would interrupt sleep grunts and sighs. At one point Atticus was SURE that Otto had woken because he smacked his lips together and sniffed only to hiccup three times afterward. But with a soft grunt his lips slowly parted again and he was still asleep.

Fifteen minutes of being a passive observer in the dim light of their lamp had passed before they could no longer help themselves. They had to cuddle. They were having physical contact withdrawals without the hiccups appearing (for the first time in a month or two at that), and this was too much to simply be a passive observer to.

Slowly they scooted over and snuggled their head on Otto’s chest. Otto grunted, hiccuped, sniffed, hiccuped two more times, and finally started shifting taking a breath that indicated he was stirring. Atticus tried not to feel guilty when he looked down at them blearily, head thrown back into his pillow at another hiccup. He gave them a dopey smile and lifted his arm off his chest and pulled it around them pulling his partner closer to his body.

“H-uk!-hey,” Otto said hoarsely.

“Hey,” Atticus repeated. “You have the hiccups, sir.” They said it very matter-of-factly to prevent themselves from stuttering over the word.

“I do?” Otto said and jolted with three silent hiccups that hit him in a row. He blinked owlishly, eyes wide in recognition. “Oh!” He put the hand that was not embracing Atty on his chest in surprise.

Atticus had put a hand over Otto’s diaphragm and shivered as it rewarded the touch with those three hiccups. The softness of Otto’s belly jiggled gently under his shirt.

“I don’t know how long you had them before I came in, but you’ve been going for at least 15 minutes while I’ve been here,” Atticus informed.

“Mm huck! Well I guess that mk!-ex-explains hmuck!-the dream,” Otto muttered, eyes closing momentarily, exhaustion trying to steal back his consciousness.

“Oh?” Atty asked, desperate to hear him talking again.

They were awarded with a deep breath interspersed with a particularly enthusiastic stifled hiccup that sounded a bit like hrmkl. A soft grunt followed it. Atticus squirmed a little. The absolute confusion their body was in as all it wanted was to disintegrate into sleep but simultaneously it was deeply aroused and tingly was a little frustrating. But physical exhaustion was putting up a very good fight.

“Y-yeah. Um, I w-was trying t-hmk!-to tell...someone? Um. Mk! I don’t remember hmuck!-remember who...saying...I was huck’m!mk!-uh saying something but mk!-I couldn’t g-get mk!mk!-get the words out. They kept turning into bubbles. Like mk!-literal bu-bubbles mk!-that sorta floated b-by and my huck!-uh my words were tr-trapped in them. And when they huck!-when they HUCK!-whenHUCK!” Otto paused and let a couple more hiccups in the cluster pass before trying again. Now that he was awake and talking the hiccups seemed to be a bit more enthusiastic on being heard. He grunted.

He felt another squirm from his partner and rubbed their shoulder in response. He now had his eyes opened and had been watching their hand on his stomach jump with its movements. He never noticed his body’s response to hiccups before they learned about Atticus’ kink. But now he was intensely aware of how his chest caved in and his stomach popped out. And he even knew how his neck pulled inward at Atticus’ informing him of it. He had found himself more than once watching in the mirror and being sort of fascinated by what his body did when he hiccuped and how it made sense where he felt the pulls of muscles with each spasm and why his chest got so sore if he had them for too long.

“When the bubbles popped,” he was finally able to get out quickly before next hiccup. “All the huck!-words would come out in s-sounds hmuck!-n-not words but huck!-but just the sounds of hmk!-of all the le-letters at on-hmkuh once hmk! Hmuck! Huck’m! Mm.”

“How the hell did you sleep through this?” Atticus wondered aloud. Their ear was pressed into his chest listening to the thumps and swallows that accompanied his hiccups.

“No idea,” Otto admitted with a light laugh and a smattering of hiccups. “I d-don’t know if I’ve mk!-ever hic-huck!-hiccuped in my sleep! Erk!”

“Did you take that antacid?” Atty asked.

There was a pause from him that was for more than just to let another cluster of silent hiccups pass.

“Fu-UCK,” he muttered.

Atticus laughed at the appropriateness of the hiccup’s timing even while Otto put a hand on his head in a gesture of self immolation.

For a moment Atticus had wondered if Otto had fallen back to sleep. The hiccups had gotten a bit softer now that he wasn’t talking. His hand had stayed over his eyes.

“Are you feel-feeling…?” Otto asked incompletely as he peeked beneath his hand to catch Atticus’ eye.

“A little,” Atticus admitted, snuggling further into Otto’s belly, letting the bounces move their head. They felt Otto’s long fingers stroking their scalp and sighed contently. They gave his stomach a little rub and felt the vibration of Otto humming between hiccups.

“Did hmk!-did you want hmk!-wanna hmk!hmk!…” Otto asked, again trailing off with implication.

“Mmm,” Atticus said, groaning a little in indecision before sighing. “No. I’m too tired. Can we just...cuddle? I just...wanna feel them. I know that’s a little weird...probably.”

“Not that we-hock!-weird,” Otto conceded. “There’s a lot goin-hmk!-going on here hmk!” He said this while gesturing to his torso as a whole.

“There certainly is,” Atty agreed enthusiastically. “Can we spoon?”

“For a hmk!-for a little hmk!-little wh-hmk!-while. Hmk!” Otto agreed.

Atticus knew that Otto tended to overheat easily so spooning indefinitely wouldn’t be happening. As they shifted themselves and Otto’s arm pulled around them, holding Atticus almost like one would hold a teddy-bear, against his torso with his head and nose buried softly in the nape of their neck, Atticus said, “I’m sorry that I woke you. I should’ve let you sleep.”

“D-don’t be hup! We’re gonna have all hulp!-day tomorrow to c-hup!-catch up on sleep. Hmk!mk!mk!” he said, grunting at the deepness of the last hiccup. For the most part the hiccups had felt like flutters but that last one he could feel pull his chest in deeper than the others.

“Ooh, that one was deep,” Atticus commented.

“Yeah,” Otto agreed breathily, snuggling more into their hair and breathing in amid more hiccups.

“If you need to cure--”

“Mm-mm mmk!,” Otto said, negating the suggestion. “I’m mk!-just gonna let them mk!-go awa-mk!-go away on their own.”

Atticus chuckled.

“Too ti-hock!-tired!” He murmured into his partner’s curls.

Atticus, for their part, was keeping it together. Most of it was that their body simply didn’t have the energy to act on the arousal they felt. They let the tingling sensations swell and ebb as they felt the softness of Otto’s midsection dance into their lower back. They felt the jerk of his chest against their upper back. They felt the jolting twitch of his head against their shoulders. Their body moved with his as every hiccup hit.

Soon it became less of an arousal and more of a ride as their mind started to lose its consciousness. The sensations of the sheets and bed faded as they were rocked unevenly but not unlike a child in a cradle. A jerky cradle, but also a soft one. Huffs of air were exhaled onto their neck. Atticus wouldn’t remember all of their dreams but they would realize when they woke up that they hadn’t been entirely dry ones.

True to Otto’s nature he had rolled away from Atticus during the night but kept one arm around them in some fashion. Also, gratefully, the hiccups seemed to have ceased at some point as he woke up without them. Atticus had curled into him, but not as closely as they had been, so they were cradled in his arm, softly breathing and Otto took a long moment to watch them twitch and breathe, grateful that the day was both of theirs to do with as they please and, even though he was definitely experiencing a little acid reflux at this point, he was anticipating that it was going to be a day of hiccups and perhaps that meant a day of orgasmic happenings. The release would be nice.