#and I’m confident in saying the music was AI written because it did not flow like music should flow. there were awkward pauses and breaks

[kisaxiii]

.

[mikaze-discord]

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon: 

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE 

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda: 

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt: 

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

[that-little-zebunny]

Best Movie Night Ever!

Bucky Barnes x Reader

WC: 2,352

This is written for @prunes-said-bucky​ & @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ ‘s HBC’s Drunk drabbles based on this lovely prompt (I hope you’ll like it <3) :

Reader has a crush on Bucky but because he’s shy and broody he doesn’t talk much. One night, she invites him into her room to watch an action movie, the action movie reader had picked is packed full of sex scenes and heavy make-out scenes. What does Bucky do?

Warning: Alcohol, little angst if you look hard, some fluff & smut.

You like Bucky, you like him so much and it's not even a secret. Oh how you wished he would face it though…

"Hey Bucky boo!!! I made you breakfast." You happily walked towards him when you saw him walk out of his room. You're in time as always. You spend a lot of time memorizing his daily routine. He woke up at 5 am stay in his room and goes out at 6:30 am to run.

So you made sure to have breakfast ready for him every time. You even put a heart on top using the syrup!

"Uhm...Hey, Y/n. Thanks, I guess…" he said taking the tray from you and shyly nodding his head before he goes back in and comes out again to go to his run.

You're not sure if he's eating your food or not. You're just happy he's not saying no every time you give him some.

"Have a great run, Bucky boo." You waved at him and he just nodded his head in acknowledgement.

Pouting at the lack of reaction you decided to go on with your day.

 It was another free day so you and the team decided to have some night out. You're at the dance floor dancing with Nat when your eyes landed on Bucky who's at the bar counter drinking at the corner. Having drunk a lot even though you have low tolerance your normal brave self ends up having more confidence.

You signaled Nat you're done dancing and stalked towards Bucky.

You jumped on his lap sideways which surprised him. His metal arm went around your waist to steady you. Giggling loudly, you look up to him and pinched his cheeks.

"Hi Bucky boo, are you not enjoying the night?" You asked, sneaking your arms around his neck. He shifted uncomfortably. He can smell your usual sweet scent mixed with the alcohol.

Since he became a super soldier alcohol had lost its effect on him but having you near and taking a whiff of your scent makes him feel like he’s been drunk for a week.

Swallowing a lump on his throat he looked down at you.

"What are you doing doll? This is not appropriate." He whispered. Slowly and carefully he slides you off his lap.

"Oh come on!!! Why are you always like this?" Ungracefully you landed on your feet with your back on him. Turning around you stumped your left foot on the floor like a kid who lost her candy. Looking down at the floor with tears threatening to flow out your eyes. "Am I that unattractive to you? I've shown you how I feel for a long while now and still nothing…" you sniffed looking up to meet his beautiful blue eyes.

You can see the worry in them which is what you really want to see. Smirking in your head. You dramatically bit your lips making sure it trembles a bit.

"H-hey, it's not... that's not-ugh?" He said combing his hair back using his flesh hand. "I didn't want to make you feel bad, doll. It's heartwarming to know someone likes me, especially someone like you...it really is but I don't think you'll want me as me." He said looking away. "You won't want a damaged guy…" he continued in a whisper.

Thanks for your training that even if the bar is full of loud music you're able to understand what he said.

"Bucky…" you whispered.

"I'm sorry doll, it just won't work." He said looking at you with his sad eyes.

"No!" You said putting your hands on your waist. "How could you say it won't work without even trying? I will not accept that Sergeant! You, me, my room tomorrow. Movie night! I will wait no matter how long." You said full of determination and held his face to kiss him quick in his lips and then walked away leaving a stunned Super Soldier.

 --

 Oh gods, oh gods, what do I do??? You nervously walked circles around your room waiting. You've been able to prepare a cozy pillow fort and snacks for Bucky. The movie is something Nat choose because you don't know much about action movies and Bucky surely like actions than your usual movie choices which is some animated films.

"Friday, can you tell me where Bucky is?" You asked the AI as you peaked outside.

"Sergeant Barnes is on his way back to the compound with Capt. Rogers. Would you like me to inform him you're waiting for him Y/n?" Friday response. But you said no. Surely he is not that drunk to forget about what you said last night?

Sighing you went to your pillow fort and opened up the bottle of wine waiting there drinking to make your sadness go away. He must really not like you. You sighed.

 ---

 Bucky just got back from a sudden mission with Steve. He's very tired. On his way to his room he walked pass yours and saw that the light is still on and then he remembered what you said last night.

"Shit…" he said and walked back to knock on your door. No answer. So he tried again a lot louder this time. He heard shuffling and knows you're on your way to open up the door.

"Whuuat?" You slurred. He frowned.

"Are your drunk Y/n?" He asked as he tried to peak at your face covered by your hair.

"Why do you care...psh" you answered and was about to close the door but Bucky stopped it by putting his boot on the door.

"I do remember being invited to a movie night?" He pleaded.

You looked up at him without not caring if your eyes are red from all the crying you did while you're waiting for him.

"Come in…" you whispered.

Bucky saw the empty bottle of wine and sighed. He never wanted to make you sad or cry.

"Is the invitation still up?" He ask and you nodded. "Can I just clean up real quick?" and again you just nod. He sigh feeling a nasty lump on his stomach for making you feel this way. "I'll be back, doll." He said and kissed you quickly on the cheek before he went out to go to his own room.

Wide eyed you slowly went back to your pillow fort and fell down losing the strength of your legs. Did he really just kiss you??? You touched the part where his soft lips landed and giggled.

 --

 Bucky went back and He's all cleaned and yummy with his sweatpants and a grey T-Shirt that hugs his upper body so well you're kind of jealous. He also brought hot chocolate saying that you cannot have a movie night without drinks because you sadly drank all of the wine you brought. Halfway to the movie though you gasp seeing what is going on. The two main characters were fighting after a failed event and then started to caress each other in a hard but lustful manner.

"I so fucking hate you!!! This is all your fault!" The leading lady said as she wrapped her legs around the guy's waist.

"Is that so!? Then why the fuck do you make me feel like you want to devour me." The man he and harshly kissed the lady. It was a sloppy but very sexy scene. Does all action have this kind of scenes???? Omg!!! You should have not trusted Natasha's recommendations.

The events on the scene went fire so fast that goosebumps littered your arms just thinking about the scene and the man you're with. He's unmoving eyes glued to the screen. Pinkish tint is visible in his cheeks as the moans and groans on the TV filled your room. Feeling the familiar tingling feelings on your stomach you cleared your throat which made Bucky jump a bit.

"I ah...s-should we fast forward it?" He asked. His face turns redder. You nodded breathing heavily with all the sounds. He did fast forward it and then the fighting began again.

You're feeling very thirsty suddenly and stand up to get some refill for your drinks.

"I-I'll just get us more d-drinks." You said and was about to walk pass Bucky when your foot got tangled from one of the comforters you have on the floor. Knowing it's too late to get your balance back you just closed your eyes and waited for the impact which did not come.

Instead you felt an arm around your waist and an addicting smell surrounds you.

Taking a deep breath as your body’s temperature turns up higher. You slid your hands towards his chest so you can push yourself up but as you are about to push another steamy moment is happening on the screen.

Bucky’s arm on your waist tightened which made you lay on top of him chest to chest. Slowly his metal arm went inside your shirt making you shiver from the cold feeling and also from the way he is caressing your back.

“Bucky…?” you whispered looking up to his face. Biting your lips from how hot and intense he is looking at you.

“You got a unique taste in movie doll. I did not expect this…” he said his voice low.

“I-…Its Nat’s recommendation.” You said shyly as he continue to rub your back. Stealing a quick look at the scene on your monitor your saw the two characters having a heated make-out session on a bar. Seems like they are undercover in this and have to make it look like they’re wasted but end up getting carried away.

“Oh goodness…” you mumbled as you hid your face on Bucky’s neck which made him gasp. You nose is touching him and his hyper sensitive senses is making him dizzy. He can hear your breathing and the hot breath is like fuel on the fire. He had always like you. You’re the bubbly innocent thing in his eyes. The life of the team and that is also why he kept his distance. He doesn’t want to corrupt you but it’s so hard…especially now that he have you in his arms.

Arms sliding down to cup your ass and it actually felt wonderful and hot. Using your arm to get a glimpse of his face your right hands went to caress his cheeks and surprisingly he let you. Tracing his forehead down to his cheeks loving the rough feeling it left on your fingers you felt you heart beat faster. He bit his lower lips as he watch you admire him and your hands went to trace it too as he let go of his lips.

“Y/N…I-I can’t-“that made you feel very, very sad. He must really not like you. Sighing, you tried to get up again but what he said next made you see rainbows and butterflies started dancing at the pit of your stomach. “I can’t stop myself anymore…I want you, so bad.” He finished as his hands went up to hold your cheeks and brought you down towards his face. His lips meeting yours in a soft kiss.

“Please don’t. Never stop yourself.” You said smiling widely at his before kissing him hard. Rough growl vibrated from his throat and it made your stomach twist. That was so hot!

Moving your legs so straddle his hips your hands brushing his hair as you both got lost at each other’s lips. His tongue tracing yours fighting for dominance which made you challenge him kissing his quick and biting his lower lips and the putting space between your lips every time he tries to put his tongue in. This made Bucky look at you suspiciously growling again making you feel like you are going to melt into a puddle just by that dangerously sexy growl.

“Stop teasing, little girl.” He said and chased your lips when you did it again. You moaned as he skillfully molded his lips to yours tasting you as if you are his last meal. Aware of the hard tent on his sweatpants between your legs you slowly moved your hips you both moaned at the wonderful feeling it caused. His flesh hand went how to your ass to guide you.

“Oh…” you moaned when both of his hands started guiding you to move with him. His hips meeting yours. “Bucky…more…ah.” You said feeling the pressure on your core as you rolled your hips harder. You’re almost on you peak and he’s not even inside you yet. This man is going to be the end of you. You whined when he suddenly stopped. Looking into his eyes your face flush from wanting him so bad and he also have the same look.

Moving to get up with you clinging to him afraid that if you let go hell start to move away again.

“Take that thought out of you lovely head doll.” He said as he walk towards your bed with you in his arms your legs around his waist. “I will not move away from you anymore…” he said kissing the side of your lips after he lay you on the bed with him on top of you.

“You’re mine now?” you are still wrapped around him not giving him a chance to escape.

“Yes, yours now and forever.” He growled then kissed you hard making you giggled as you moved to remove his shirt tracing your hands on his hard chest, down to his abs and up to the scars that shows how beautiful and strong he is.

“You’re beautiful Bucky…make me yours fully.” You said as your hand went down to touch his hardness. Making him growl again as you moved your hand up and down. You now have a new favorite sound and it’s Bucky’s growl and as he took you that night you made sure to make his sing your favorite sound again and again as he showed you how much he wants you in the most delicious way your moans and shouts overpowering the sexy sounds the movie characters are making. Tonight is the best movie night of your life!

---

Taglist: @nano--raptor​ @jobean12-blog​ @marvelgirl7​ @godofplumsandthunder​ (taglist open) 

[datheetjoella]

if u r up for it Strength and AAAALLLLL those questions!!!! but if u don't want to do them all then 1 to 5!!;u; (i like.. almost always choose strength 'cause it makes me nostalgic fhsdgghj sorry about that!!)

Of course I’m up for all of the questions! ^^ Thank you for sending this! (And don’t apologise!! I’m very glad that you like Strength enough to ask me about it!)

Strength

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I could summarise what sparked the idea of Strength in one sentence. However, I’m not going to tell you because it is a spoiler for a scene that has not been written yet and I’m really, really excited about that scene and therefore I don’t want to spoil it. So let’s just say I got a certain idea that sparked the concept of this fic.

2. What scene did you first put down?

The very first scene at the beginning of the fic: Makoto sleeping over at Haru’s house and Haru noticing that Makoto’s acting different from usual. I always write in chronological order so naturally that was the first scene that I wrote. However, the first scene that I imagined and crafted out in my head was the scene that I mentioned above.

3. What’s your favorite line of narration?

I am never able to answer this question. It’s simply impossible for me to pick one line that stands out, because most lines are pretty meaningless without the entire context and the other lines. Therefore, I decided to do something a little differently: I’m going to share one of my favourite lines in the wip of chapter 5. So, this chapter has not been published yet so it can still change, but it’s a tiny, tiny preview.

‘Although Makoto was usually more reserved in terms of physical contact as well, Haruka figured that he felt the same need, to have the closeness of someone he could build upon, someone to hold onto and be held by during the most difficult time of his life.’ 

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Same with the last question, I find it hard to pick a fav so I’ll show you a line of dialogue from chapter 5 as well. This is kind of a spoiler, but I’m confident that not many people will read this, anyway, so it’ll be a little inside spoiler for a few. 

‘“You really love Onii-chan, don’t you?”’

5. What part was the hardest to write?

Honestly, it’s not a specific scene but more the factor of tying plot-points together, if that makes sense. When I’m in the middle of a scene I know what’s going to happen and how it’s going to continue, but I always have difficulty ending one scene and starting another in a way that flows together nicely and doesn’t feel like it’s odd. I hope I succeed in it, haha.

6. What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

I’m not sure, to be honest. To me, for some reason, Strength just has a very special place in my heart. It’s weird to say this about my own fic and I’m not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I think that Strength may be my “best” fic in terms of story and development. I’m sure not everyone agrees with this or likes it, but I suppose I’m kind of proud of it. I work really hard on it, even if you wouldn’t say that because I only update like twice a year. I just hope that other people like it, too. At least enough to stick around till the end, which I’m definitely going to write.

7. Where did the title come from?

I have no idea. Usually I find coming up with titles to be one of the hardest things to do, but for some reason, in this case I just knew from the start that it was supposed to be titled “Strength”. Because to me, Strength captures everything this fic is about. In order to battle with cancer, you have to be strong, physically but especially mentally. And when someone you love gets cancer, you want to be there for them and support them throughout everything. You want to be their strength - which is what Haru wants to be for Makoto. To me, “Strength” symbolises Haru’s unconditional love and support throughout these bitter times for Makoto. But I suppose it’s open to interpretation.

8. Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Yes and no. I wouldn’t necessarily say that anyone or anything inspired the fic itself, but I’d rather say that I, as the author, was inspired by some people. Not any people I know, but I’ve done my research and watched documentary-esque tv shows about children with cancer and I suppose it sort of affected my view on the entirety of cancer. And with that, I can write this fic from my heart. So, indirectly I suppose.

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Yes! I already told you but in case anyone else is reading this, I’ll say it again:

In the very first idea for Strength, everyone had cancer. Everyone. Haru gets diagnosed with cancer as a kid and is admitted to a hospital where he meets Makoto, who also has cancer. One by one other kids come in (Nagisa, Rin, eventually Rei and Ai) and the story would be about their lives at the hospital. In this version, at least one person died and that would be Nagisa - no spoilers on any other characters because that might spoil the real concept.

So I suppose you can all be glad that Strength developed into what it is now.

10. Why did you chose this pairing for this particular story?

It’s MakoHaru. Everything is MakoHaru.

11.What do you like best about this fic?

Pfft I don’t know. I suppose the emotional rollercoaster that the readers are subjected to. And the unsure ending, that is also fun.

12. What do you like least about this fic?

This fic is taking me a lot of time and therefore, my writing style changes throughout the fic. I’m not really much of a fan of chapter 1 anymore, for example. If I were to re-write it right now, it would probably be a little different not in terms of plot but in terms of style, I suppose. I don’t have time for that anyway so it’s just going to stay as it is.

13. What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I listen to all kinds of music, really. But for this fic specifically, I listen a lot to ‘Save Our Last Goodbye’ by Disturbed. This song is about the loss of a friend but that does not necessarily mean that the story will go one way or another. It just really puts me in that sad, sad mood. For the more “happy” moments, I listen to ‘I’ll Be There’ by Hollywood Undead, and although this song is also about the loss of a friend which again, doesn’t have to mean anything, it has a more upbeat melody and that perfectly symbolises the tone of this fic for me; even in the happy moments, the sadness and agony is always hidden underneath. Next to that I’m a fan of Yiruma’s piano music, which is absolutely gorgeous and is great for writing anything in general.

14. Is there anything you want the readers to learn from this fic?

Not really; the main purpose of this fic is to entertain, not to inform. Although I want to give representation for both cancer patients and their loved ones in this fic, I’m not exactly the most valid source of information. Of course, I do my very best to make things as accurate as possible, but I wouldn’t blindly believe what I state because I’m just a writer-person and not an oncologist.

15. What did you learn from this fic?

I learned a bunch of stuff about cancer, acute lymphocytic leukemia to be exact. But I also learned that writing angst is so much fun and I love leaving the readers in the dark.

Thank you so much for asking me all these things!

Ask me about one of my fics