#theough out all the songs and some of the lyrics were just not good or didn’t make any sense

[kisaxiii]

.

[quackisinnit]

What Dream, George, Sapnap, Karl, Quackity, c!Techno, Wilbur would get you for Valentine's Day

Note: probabaly the biggest headcanon i've ever wrote KDSHJS i'll only do this when theres a speacual occasion. sorry it came out so late!!

Genre: fluff, romantic, irl and in-game, gender neutural, they/them

Warnings: none

Navigation

Dream

Heart Shaped Balloons and Flowers

he would bring you to a fancy restaurant

like he would go all out

anyways

he gives you the gifts like before you leave the restaurant

he payed for the check

and he just stands up and says "wait here, i'll just get something real quick from the car"

you're so confused cause like

he already brought you to a fancy place?? what other surprise does he have for you

and he comes in with the balloons and flowers

and you're all like

"dream you're too sweet, i'm gonna cry"

"aww no dont cry D:"

when he gives it to you he kisses your cheek and say some romantic stuff

"i love you so much y/n"

"i'm so grateful for you, thank you for sticking withme theough thick and thin"

George

Chocolates and A Teddy Bear

you would both be at home

just hangin out

cause why go out if you can just stay at home an watch movies together??

he'd even make you pick the movie

which is pretty rare

cause in his words,

"you always pick the worst movies"

"wdym??? i pick the best movies D:<"

and while watching

he gets up and you dont really expect anything

cause yaknow he could be going to the rest room

and when he comes back,

he calls out to you, gifts in hand

"y/n,"

you then look at him and he smiles at you

"happy valentines day:)"

and he'd give you the tightest hug in the world

"aw george thank you, you're the best"

"i know😏"

"oh shut up"

Sapnap

A Big Teddy Bear and Flowers

he would try to plan something big

like a big banner with "happy valentines day!", lots of flowers, etc

but he couldn't cause he was busy:((

and a few days before valentines day he'd just buy you flowers

he planned to give it to you before you wake up

so he woke up earlier than you

he tried to make breakfast for you

but he was so nervous so it was pretty hard

like he would be trying to make you some eggs but heended up burning them on accident

in the end he just made you a sandwhich

when he went in you were still alseep

and after a few minutes of deciding,

he called dream LMAOO

"DREAM HELP WHAT DO I DO"

"JUST WAKE THEM UP"

and so he did

you were greeted with a very happy and nervous sapnap

"happy valentine's day:)"

and he'd give you the flowers and sandwhich

later on in the day you both went to a carnival and win you a big teddy bear in one of the games

cause he felt bad for just getting flowers djshsj

Karl

Cupcakes and A Teddy Bear

he'd first greet you in the morning by peppering your face with kisses and handing you the bear

"here you go love, happy valentines day"

and he'd be all giggly that day too

for the next surprise

he would make this a bonding experience

like you would both make the cupcakes

maybe even make a contest and see who makes the better cupacakes

and it'd be so much fun

he'd throw flour at you, try to mess up the color of your icing by adding more food color in it, etc

like you'd be mixing and he just comes up behind you and probabaly throws an egg at your head LMAOO

"okay so i nee-" you feel something hard hit your head and then hear a cracking sound

you turn around to see that karl has thrown an egg at your head

but it didnt break, it only broke when it finally hit the ground

"oh karl you're in for it now-"

you'd be throwing different ingredients at eachother

maybe even spoons and spatulas

"HA get recked y/-" he pauses

"y/n."

"did you just hit my head with a fork?"

"... maybe"

just really chaotic honestly

and cleaning up would be pretty hard

like there would be flour and icing everywhere

but the whole experince was fun<3

Quackity

Flowers and Song/Poem

he'd be stressed about it

like "will they like it?" "is it good enough??"

just lots of thoughts racing through his head

when he gives it (the flowers) to you

his hands would be sweaty

he clears his throat and gets a piece of paper from his pocket

and its the poem

he starts readibg the lines

(spoiler, its a joke poem)

"y/n, the first time i saw you, i pissed my pants"

"and i like ants"

or somethimg like that KSJAK

he'd just say stupid stuff to make you laugh

then after that comes the real gift

the song

this man makes his own song and tune

nothing was taken from the internet

like he wrote the lyrics himself and the tune

and he'd sing it seriously

when done with the song, he looks at you

"did you like it??"

"like it?" you scoffed

his heart fucking STOPS

"i loved it:)"

and he'd just let a sigh of relief

"dont ever pull that shit again i thought you hated it >:()"

Techno

Going on Picnic and Poem

at first he wouldn't know what to give you tbh

he'd be asking phil what to give you

"phil what should i give y/n?"

and phil would help him

"just give them anything, i'm sure they'll love whatever you get"

"but phil what if-"

he'd want something good enough for you

like he doesn't want to get you just flowers

it needs to be something better than that

but at the same time he's just too lazy to plan anything that big

so he just decided on going on a simple picnic

and he also decided to write you a poem

so you're picnic takes face in a large field

in the middle of nowhere

"techno, where are we?"

"you'll see"

you both to a hill where you find a blanket and a basket, filled with various kinds of food and drinks

"aww techno, thank you. you're so sweet:D"

and he'd be all flustered

"yeah but its just a picnic.."

you both sat down and just talked about things

and before you left he told you he had one more surprise

he reaches to the bottom of the basket where a paper lays

he gets it and begins reading it to you

spoiler alert, its the poem

when he's done, just like quackity, he looks at you

"did,, did you like it?????"

"i loved it techno" and you peck him on the lips

and techno?

boom, his heart explodes

"i'm glad you liked it"

he's so awkward and flustered brrr

Wilbur

Chocolates and a Song

with the song he just speedran it

but at the same time he didnt

like he made the tune quickly

but he took a long time with the lyrics

trying to find the perfect words

but it was hard

because you were so perfect and lovely to him

also cause you were always around him

and you might see what he was doing:((

obviously that would ruin the surprise

so he tried his best to keep it a a secret

and he was able to do it

soon valentines day came

and he sang his song to you

in a blanket fort he made

out of chairs, blankets, and pillows

the fort was filled with stuffed animals, snacks, drinks etc

anything you could think of, it was probably there JSJAJSJ

and if you had a pet

they would just be chilling in the fort

he sang his song there

after, he gave you choclates

cause why not??

he loves you so much so why not more gifts???

[thesloppiestbitch]

Bad Guy - Roger Taylor x Reader NSFW

A/N: Whoops I wrote another Roger fic

Lyrics are in bold italics as this is based on Billie Eilish’s song Bad Guy, so I recommend listening to it and reading the lyrics before reading this (also its just an A++ song, highly recommend anyways)

Word Count: ~2,030

Warning(s): Light/implied smut (I think???), little bit of fluff, little bit of angst, probably spelling mistakes

Masterlist

After the show, as the band was leaving the stage, you locked eyes with the blonde. He seemed to be squinting as though he couldn't really see you, but made his way towards you, nonetheless. He lightly shoved aside some of the other women that crowded him, which earned you some glares, to which you responded with a smirk. Once he was close to you, he stopped squinting and it was replaced with a flirty smile.

"Well, hello. Don't think I've seen you around here before; what's your name, beautiful?" He asked, placing his hand on the bar behind you and leaning in slightly.

You smirked and leaned in to his ear, whispering, "Unimportant. Meet me in the bathroom in five."

You stood from your spot and left him standing there, but not before you could get a glance at his dumbfounded expression that soon faded to that of a giddy smile.

▪️

You rose from your knees, gently wiping your bottom lip with your thumb. Locking eyes with the blonde, you smiled, swallowing hard as you watched him try to contain himself.

He opened his mouth to say something, but you held up a finger to silence him.

"Don't say thank you or please. I do what I want when I'm wanting to." You said, doing the buttons of your shirt back up.

"Can I at least get your name now?" The blonde asked, zipping up his pants.

"[Name]." You stated monotonously.

"Pretty name to match a pretty face—" He attempted to flirt before you cut him off.

"Look, hun, both of us already got what we wanted, so you don't have to keep flirting with me, okay?"

"Well... what if I want to see you again?"

You scoffed at this. "We can discuss it over a drink."

Without waiting for his reply, you unlocked the bathroom door and headed for the bar once again.

▪️

"So, [Name], come to pub gigs often?" The blonde, whom you now knew as Roger, asked. He'd been attempting to get to know you over the last half hour, but you weren't biting, and it frustrated him.

"Only when the members are as cute as you," You finally gave in and began to lightly flirt back with him. This made Roger reveal a small smile to you as continued to speak.

"So now you flirt?"

You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink. "Must be all the alcohol."

"Oh, c'mon, at least let me have this one,"

You let out a soft laugh. "Alright, fine. I'll let you believe you're finally getting somewhere with me,"

"I believe it because I am." He states matter of factly.

"Listen, love, you don't want to start anything with me."

"And why not?"

"Well, for starters, I'm pretty sure you have a girlfriend?" You questioned, pointing over your shoulder to a dark haired woman who'd been glaring at you two the whole time you'd been in your booth.

"That's not my girlfriend; just some pissy groupie."

"Mmm," You hummed, taking another sip from your glass. "So you're a tough guy," You commented, changing the subject slightly.

"What gives you that impression?"

"Drummers tend to be. Hard to tell looking at you though. Look pretty scrawny; almost like you'd be better fit to hold a guitar,"

"I play guitar too," He mumbled, bringing his beer bottle up to his mouth.

"Like it pretty rough guy,"

Hearing you say this made him choke slightly.

"Don't act surprised. Do you forget what just happened in the bathroom?"

"Not so loud," He hushed.

"What," You sat back, crossing your arms. "Embarrassed to have received what you referred to as 'the best blo—"

"Ssh!"

You smirked. "Just can't get enough guy, chest always so puffed guy,"

He stayed quiet, unsure where you were leading the conversation and almost scared to make a comment.

"I'm that bad type; make your mama sad type, make your girlfriend mad type,"

"I don't have a girlfriend," He reminded you, to which you rolled your eyes.

"I'm the bad guy, Rog, are you really sure you want to get involved with me?"

He nodded. "I've never met anyone like you; you're interesting. I'm curious to see where this goes,"

You smirked, again, upon hearing this and took a large swig, finishing off your drink without even wincing, despite the burn the alcohol left in your throat. "Alright. Let's see where this goes,"

▪️

Two months into a relationship with Roger, you'd both decided it would be a good idea to meet each other's parents as things were going really well. You were meeting his parents first; they'd invited the two of you over for supper. Roger had to remind you to be on your best behavior, but you dismissed him.

At the dinner table, his parents had been making light conversation with you; asking things like where you worked and how you two had met, where you were from. The basics, really.

As you answered their questions, you began to lightly kick what you assumed was the leg of the table. When his father cleared his throat, you flashed an apologetic look, but an idea crossed your mind. Your foot gently went up his leg, pulling the material of his pants with them. He locked eyes with you across the table, but you just smiled innocently and continued telling his mom about what it was like to travel a lot growing up. Eventually, his father had to excuse himself from the table; you smiled, feeling successful.

After dinner, you helped Roger's mom with the dishes. She excused herself to speak with Roger in the other room quickly, and, though they were trying to be quiet, you could hear them plain as day.

"Roger, I'm really not so sure about her—" His mom spoke.

"Well, I am. What's your issue with her?"

"She was playing footsie with your father all throughout our meal!"

"Really, mum? That's quite the accusation, don't you think?"

"It just makes me sad to see you, such a nice person, end up with her..."

"Mum!"

"She's a maneater, Roggie, I can tell!"

"You don't get to degrade my girlfriend. We're leaving. [Name]!"

You played dumb, shaking your wet hands over the water. "Yes?"

"Let's go," Roger spoke as he walked into the kitchen.

You dried your hands off with the kitchen towel that had been hanging on the oven's handle. "Why?"

"I'll tell you when we get home," He held out his hand for you to take, which you did.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Taylor," You gave her a sweet smile, which she seemed to genuinely return. "Mr. Taylor," You smiled to him as well, but once Roger's mom has turned to leave the room, you winked at him. Roger pulled you out the door before you could see his reaction.

"Why'd we have to leave so soon?" You asked once theough the doors of Roger's apartment.

"Mum thought you'd been playing footsie with dad under the table while we ate, and then continued to badmouth you," Roger spoke, shutting the door. You could tell he was angry.

"I was." You said as casually as discussing the weather.

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"You're joking, right?"

"No,"

"[Name]," He sighed, running his hands through his hair. "You know you can't just do that!"

You shrugged. "I'm the bad guy, remember? I warned you of this two months ago."

"I remember you claiming to be the bad guy, yes, but I remember nothing of you saying you would seduce my dad, and that's not an excuse!"

"Pfft, I didn't seduce him," You waved him off.

"That's not the point, [Name]!"

"Oh, calm down, Rog, it's not that big of a deal."

He huffed, storming off to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

After giving him a few minutes to calm down, you rose from the couch and joined him in the bedroom. He was lying on the bed, arms crossed, staring up at the ceiling. You could tell he was still upset with you. Nothing a little hate sex won't fix... You thought.

You slowly walked towards him before straddling his waist and placing his hands on your waist. He looked up at you with an eyebrow raised.

"If you think you're getting sex after seducing my dad, you're incredibly wrong." Roger stated.

"What can I say? The Taylor men are hot," You spoke softly before undoing a few buttons of his shirt and leaving a trail of kisses down his chest. His grip on your waist tightened slightly; you barely noticed.

"I like it when you take control, even if you know you don't own me, I'll let you play the role," You said, a sultry tone coating every word. Leaning into his ear, you barely spoke above a whisper, "I'll be your animal,"

Upon hearing that, he flung you back into the bed, taking your place by straddling your hips and placing a rough kiss upon your lips, which you happily returned.

▪️

"Remind me again why I can't meet your mum?" Roger asked later that night as the two of you cuddled on the couch.

"She tends to not like the men I bring home,"

"Why?"

"Let's just say she's seen enough of my escapades to pity the men I know. She always tries to warn them about me and tells them to leave while they still can. Eventually, I learned to just stop bringing guys home and let them decide for themselves if they like me enough to stay,"

He hummed in response, drawing mindless shapes on your arm. "Well, if I've already decided I'll stay, does that mean I can meet the mysterious Ms. [Last Name]?"

You laughed. "We'll see. She's the one that nicknamed me 'the bad guy' to start with."

"I don't understand why; you're not bad at anything, you're rather good at most,"

"I'm only good at being bad,"

He laughed at your response.

▪️

For your six month anniversary, Roger decided to bring you to the pub where you two had first met for supper to start the night off. The two of you sipped some drinks and ate your food as you talked about nothing. Until you were interrupted.

"Roger!" A redhead called out, running towards your table.

You both looked at her before you asked him, "Ex?"

"No, never seen her before in my life."

"Oh, I thought you were alone," The redhead scoffed. You noticed Roger's grip on his fork tighten. "Saw your show the other night; you really rocked it. The star of the show, really,"

He forced a smile. "Thank you."

"So who's this skank anyways? Why settle for her when you know you could do so much better?" She winked.

This didn't faze you, so you continued eating and assumed Roger would do the same, but he didn't. You sighed, ready to step in at any moment and stop him from completely embarrassing himself.

"What'd you just call my girlfriend? A skank? You've got to be kidding me; she's a thousand times prettier than you, and she knows how to use her manners and respect a person's private life. You want to talk to us after the show? Fine, feel free, but never, ever, interrupt me or any of the others in the band when we're living our private lives. Got it?" He spat, fury infused in each word.

She gulped, nodded, and ran away.

"You were a little tough on her, no?" You asked with a small giggle.

He shrugged. "Gotta defend my girl,"

You leaned across the table, giving him a sweet kiss. Nothing too passionate, but still enough to show him what he was in for later that night. When you pulled back, you spoke. "I like when you get mad. I guess I'm pretty glad that we're alone. Did she seem scared of me? I mean, I don't see what she sees, but maybe it's cause I'm wearing your cologne."

He smirked, giving you a look that could only be described as hungry. "Remember the first time we met?"

"How could I forget?"

"Well, now it's your turn. Meet me in the bathroom in five."

You smiled, nodding as he stood from his seat.

[lovemesomesurveys]

5,000 questions survey series--part thirty-nine

3701. If you HAD to do your holiday shopping for EVERYONE in only ONE store what store would you pick? That would be hard. Can I cheat and just say online? ha.

3702. What's more annoying: the person in front of you driving ten miles under the speed limit on a regular day OR a person who cuts you off doing 10 miles over the speed limit on a stormy day The person who cuts me off on a stormy day because that could be dangerous.

3703. Define the word TIME without using the word time in the definition. A continuous span of progression. haha. That probably makes zero sense.

3704. What old cartoons do you remmeber watching? Stuff on Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Disney, PBS, Kids’ WB, and cartoons that aired on ABC and FOX in the 90s.

3705. Do you think that people care only about the people they know personally or do most people care about all people I wouldn’t say they only care about the people they know personally. Most people care about others and their general wellbeing unless they’re completely heartless, but it’s different for people you know and love versus strangers,  you know? 

Why do you think people feel that wway? I mean, you’re going to care more about people you know and love because you know and love them? It hits closer to home.

3706. Are you more like Brak Zorak or Space ghost and why Oh, those characters from that old Cartoon Network show? I remember seeing it sometimes, but was never really into it. It came on late at night, and as a kid sometimes I’d be up late cause I couldn’t sleep or didn’t feel well and that’d be like the only thing on besides informercials. 

3707. Would you rather see the movie first and then read the book or read the book and then see the movie? I’ve done both.

3708. Do you own any audio books? Nope.

What?

3709. Why are things the way they are? Good question.

3710. Do you believe that guns don't kill people and that people kill people? I mean, someone has to pull the trigger.

why?

3711. What is the best way you can think of to prevent murder? Not commit murder? :X  ha. I really don’t know. There’s some psychotic people who will always find a way.

3712. Why is it that in the USA thousands of people are murdered with a gun each year while in Canada only a handful of people are murdered with a gun each year Sources?

Sure sounds like the USA is doing something wrong, but what?

3713. Is there a difference between really being yourself and just being automatic and acting on whims? Uhhhh.

What?

I’m not sure how to answer this. 3714. Have you ever strolled through a graveyard? During the day.

In the dark? Noo.

3715. What is the difference between a good poem and a bad one? That’s subjective. I like good poems I relate to and that “speak” to me, but if a poem doesn’t do that for me it doesn’t mean it’s bad. To each their own.

3716. Who really cares about anything? I think a lot of people care about a lot of things.

Do you? Yeah. Some things maybe too much, others not enough.

Do you let it show, all the time? Depends what the thing is that I care about.

3717. Do you live with passion? :/

3718. Do you talk to squirrels? ...No.

3719. Do you kick up leaves? No.

3720. Whuch do you need more: sugar, caffiene, alcohol, drugs, sex, sleep? I’m picking two: caffeine and sleep.

3721. What images do you get from the phrase 'human subway'? For some awful, disgusting reason my mind went to the human centipede. *BARF*

3722. Joe Strummer died. Are you sad? I don’t know who that is.

Do you have a fond memory of him to share?

3723. If you are a guy are circumcised?

If you are a girl which do you prefer circumcised or not?

3724. Does it bother you that in the USA you will be tracked based on what web sites you visit, what online purchases you make and your email will be read by the government? I see where it can be helpful, but yeah it’s not fun having your privacy invaded and people all up in your business.

3725. Have you ever checked out the online personals? The what?

3726. What do you crave? Good health.

3727. On a scale of 1-10 how tough are you? 0. 

3728. On a scale of 1-10 how tender are you? 10.

3729. On a scale of 1-10 how good are you? Uhh.

3730. On a scale of 1-10 how evil are you? I think negatively and badly of myself, but I don’t think I’m evil

.3731. What would make a cool coffee table book? *shrug*

3732. What's the most interesting conversation piece in your home? *shrug*

3733. If you could get on the mall loud speaker on christmas eve you would say, “Attention holiday shoppers: Be kind to the employees and fellow customers, please.” It gets crazy during the holidays.

3734. What are you on the outside of looking into? Life.

3735. Are you more of a peculiar purple pie man or a sour grape? What.

3736. Who is someone you know should deserve more respect? My mom.

3737. Does the end ever justify violence as a means? Only in certain situations.

If yes, when? Like for self-defense.

3738. Care about everything, or care about nothing? Which would be worse? Caring about nothing is worse cause then what’s the point?

3739. Why do so many people on the internet pretend to be pregnant? I didn’t know that was a big thing. 

3740. Have you ever been the diary Hicks or Brian (same guy, Hicks is the old diary, Brian is the current one)? ...What.

If yes, what are your thoughts?

3741. What was your new years like in (answer all that you can remember)

1970?

1980?

1990?

1995?

1998?

1999?

2000?

2001?

2002?

2003?

2004?

2005?

2006?

3742. You know the Def Leopard song, 'Love Bites'? Yeah.

Do they actually mean love bites as in it sucks, or lovebites as in hickies? I’m familiar with the song, but I’ve never given it a real listen where I thought about the lyrics and what it means.

3743. All you want for chrsitmas is: We’re only in May.

3744. If you rearrange the letters in SANTA what words can you make? Ant, sat, an, at, as, tan, ass, nat...

3745. Say anything: I’m tired.

3746. Can you feel your life ending one minute at a time? Uhh.

3747. Is there something you don't want to talk about? Yeah.

3748. What is the most offinsive thing you can think of to type here? Who do you think it would offend?

3749. Who would you stop the world and melt with? “I’d stop the world and melt with you..”

3750. Is there anyone you wish you had never known? No.

3751. Do you prefer to drive or be driven? I don’t drive, so.

massage or be massaged? Be massaged.

pamper or be pampered? Pamper.

go down or be gone down on?

3752. What do you think of the sims? I like it. I go through spurts where I’m obsessed and then don’t play at all for a long time.

3753. How about the Sims Online? I’ve never played it that way.

3754. Professional or home pedicure and why? Neither. 

3755. Is there a difference between over weight and over fat? They mean the same thing.

What?

3756. What do you think of Rush Limbaugh?

3757. Do you buy books and then never read them? No.

3758. What does OPP stand for? “Other people’s property”, but there’s been the argument that the last P stands for “p*ssy” according to the song.

3759. If you had to be a character from married with children, what would you be? I wouldn’t want to be any of them haha.

3760. What did you get for christmas? A new phone, clothes, makeup, stocking stuffer things. 

3761. What was your best ever valentine's day? I don’t have one that particularly stands out.

3762. What movie would you like to see again, that you haven't watched since you were a kid? Hmm. I don’t know.

3763. Have you seen Fantastic Planet? No.

3764. Do feet disgust you? Yes.

3765. What pain releaver do you use? A prescription pain med.

3766. Are you an artist, a designer or a doodler? I’m none of those things.

3767. Do you belong to a gym? No.

3768. Have you ever been to court? No.

Over what?

Did you win?

3769. Would you ever take a caase on court TV (Judge Judy and such)?? They’re entertaining to watch, but no. Omg Judge Judy would probably make me cry haha.

3770. You are given a million dollars, only you MUST spend it (or as much as possible) IN ONE MONTH. ANY LEFT OVER MONEY WILL GO AWAY. WHAT DO YOU BUY? New house for my family and I and vacations.

3771. What are your pj's like? I’m wearing leggings and a long sleeved shirt.

3772. Is there a fabric you love above all other fabrics? Soft kinds.

3773. Can you think of any words (besides mom, dad and bob) that spell the same thing backwards and forwards? Racecar.

3774. Who would enter an ugly foot contest???? I don’t know why someone would enter a contest like that. 

3775. Would you rather see a movie with someone who screams during the movie, crys through the movie, or talks theough the movie? What's the least annoying? Cries through the movie. 

3776. Do you have any grey hair? I found a couple strands before. D:

3777. Are all the Jennifers you know psychotic? I don’t know any Jennifer’s. 

3778. Do you want to join a country club? No.

3779. 'I felt a funeral in my brain' - Emily Dickinson

What do you feel in your brain? A jumbled mess.

3780. What is the best atari game you can remember? I’ve never played.

3781. Hulk Hogan, Alf or Mr T? “I pity the fool.”

3782. Did you dance today? No.

3783. Are birds happy in cages? They need to be able to fly.

Are pets happy indoors? Depends on the pet.

3784. Have you, or has anyone you know, ever been stuffed in a locker? No.

3785. Critique this poem.

Last night death signed my yearbook Have a good summer he said see ya next year and then I realized it wasn't my yearbook it was my tombstone

Ew, that creeped me out.

3786. Red or white wine? I don’t drink anymore, but I did like white zin back when I did. Red wine gave me a headache.

3787. Hula hoops or jump ropes? Neither.

3788. Do you like tiffany lights? Sure.

3789. Do you like fights? No.

3790. What do YOU want to pin the tail on? Nothing.

3791. Wasn't last night fun? Not really.

3792. Have you ever met a group of more interesting people? Yeah.

3793. Would you eat Spaghetti with waffles to keep from offending someone? Sure.

3794. Do you play with Mr Patatoe head? I did when I was a kid.

3795. Would you rather live in an attic or a basement? Basement.

3796. Can you understand sign language? No.

3797. Do you wear ridiculous hats? No. Just simple ones.

Does Elton John? Sure.

3798. What music is wild and crazy? EDM.

3799. How does one live their life like a candle in the wind? I don’t know.

3800. Ziggy and the Spiders or Benny and the Jets? B-b-b-benny and the Jetssssssss.

[bloojayoolie]

Af, Being Alone, and Animals: but i dd spend about 2 months looking ater a small dude ranch oper碵on dring the winter months artednh intemet hookup, onine stuf handled by small ofice in town hang around, shoot funs 게ttledaknow,more pay and-phone ine but tostay durngan e during summ card the costco a d load up on food because %ck dealing ith that road more than neccesary out meals and such have all the food, need for the 2 months but forgot sham g suppies always forget so ething fuck t week one i started talking to the horses week two, they started talking a half spam cans of by hand, used shovel and dug trench and tunnel nelwork theough the ever deepening snow Ip9 a master of moving within my winter hours in attempt to tack, wrestle and ho e de deer for domestication, brethy entertaned idea of using said doe as tckpuppet ala 222897 nearly succeeded, doe managed to break loose before i could finish the kno DO manage to succeed in knäing coyote to death one night, shoot others and brain tan hides into fur cape for other unnasnow escapades many strange things those nights, some creatures one might call a skinwalker, wendigo or worse onger fear these beasts for i have become frozen death itsel from the snow cappad peaks of each building the the tunnel system beneath the snow around the property i have absolute dominion i need othe merest hostile act against the ranch is met by thundering death from my Mosin 거 rout ely catch small animals by hand and either play with them for a short while before setting them loose or silently dispatching them with my hands before they go into the stewpot but alas, al good things must come to an end one moming i hear a faint sound, one i havent heard in a long time, ike the fragment of a lyric to a forgotten song sound about like that hibernating bear i found roof of the bam i see i gaze down upon my crystal world, the shot, bayoneted, kniied, clubbed and sodomized remains of the snowman wars, the harse herd looling to me their leader for guidance, all along the treeline, creatures both large and small cowering beneath my finty gaze, twin chips of ice peering out from my coyote skin cloak guest cabin habt with the snowmen before i attempt to speak and let him know im right behind him im close enough i could bayonet him and must resist the urge my voice cracks in an attempt to say helo from long under use thought i was going to get fired, and nearly dd, but ater he asked about everything that went on and seeing that tha ranch was in perfect order he decided that as long as i showared i could keap the look and we incorporated a whole "mountain man workshop" for the guests, teach them a lttle bushcrat, simple survival stuf and i got a raise out of t. i)00 23.10 No 1:17:42 No.20980609 (36 KB i would gueSS Bam was gambrel style, lot has hay and feed storage, snow pilled to the sides and with a ltle work i managed to build a set of stairs to the pesk and set up a smal snow hut, just big enough for me, my mosin and some smal snacks to lay down in. had small windows al around soi being alone for that long does strange things to you, you gain an intimate knowledge of everything around you. the moment somathing doesnt jve, you are instantly aware of it >be chilin ith my newest addition to coyate fur cloak up on the roof, chowing dowm on some jerky, almost late aftemoon, overcast can hear the satt movements af the horse herd below me a tant knacker n0w and then maxed with their ating and breathing -hear one of them give a brief snort and the rest go silent, no movement giancing to my left i can see one of the roans looking intently to the southwest, into the wind an instant later it hits me, a smell lie rotten meat mixed with an teenagers gym clothes locker that got left over the summer with some kind of a musk to it as well -crouching in my snow hut i pull out my monocular and scan the treeline on the other side of the pasture to the south, that last coyote i bagged was in that direction i find the spot where i had skinned it out, and i know right where the carcass should be i look down the the horses and can see them ail still looking in that direction, not moving no neighs or even nervous wickering between them > pop open the ammo can i keep up there, grab a few fresh stripper clips to tuck into my coat and slide down the slope i set next to the stairs on the north side of the bam snowghost my way along the fence line still keeping my ears open, the smell has faded somewhat, but the musk still lingers like greasy ingerprints on a reshly poished 1911 at a store malke my way to the southen Sence lne, al i can make out is the faint indentations of where snow has fallen to cover my tracks from two days ago yards away, c decide tuck it and walk over to where the coyote was, i can see the drag marks clearly, right over the tracks of whatever grabbed it stracks are deep, but obscured by the drag and whatever took it left by the same path i arrived, cutting east, deeper into the woods, you go far enough and you hit the bob marshall that deep musky scent is stil strong, sticks in your nose the the ofactory equivalent of peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth, but not nearly as tasty can see from the way the tracks are spaced whatever it was had a long, bipedal stride, sinking almast twice as deep as my own bootprints into the snow fuly intended to leave the carcass tor scavengers and the like, but seems we have a new player n the game made my way back to the bam,horses are stil fiocated on the southerm pasture line, figure ill stock a few provisions in the haylaft othis marks the start of many a night spand buried in the warm hay pretty used the the night noises around the place, coyotes yowing, maybe a cat screetch and owls caling out dead fucking sience, even the horses kept close to the bam and quiet as snowal didnt get much sleep that night, that musky smell had finally worn off by about dark next few days were uneventful, not a whole hell of a lot happening. second wave of snow fascists attemped to take the stronghold that is my snow fortress and were repelled by a wave of glorious 7.62x54 musk smell slamming crouched low and took a snow trench to the bam stairs and made my way fort, peering over the edge i could see something movng by the treeline down had dark brown fur coering t at least thats what it looked ike, it stayed low whle it moved othe head appeared elongated ending in a blunt muzzle, almost like a bear, but almost like if you took a rottweilers head, took off the ears, scaled R up and covered it in coarse brown hair a deer fronm son of a bitch, that one was MINE exe and its up and looking around, stil with a slight hunch but this thing is BIG, like &- after a momenttgrabs its prize around the nock with a single long arm and takes of into the woods again, i give it a whle before investigating fuck trying to find this thing in >茁the same time, im pissed this thing has the GALL to malest my territory, a strange thought comes into my mind this is my tentory ill mark it how i like, right slong where ts tracks go from the treeline to the clearing before the fence, i piss all along it, took a steaming dump right in one of its foot prints over the next couple af days wat and observe the whole time i cant shake the feeing that im being watched as well also starting to figure out why the boss managed to buy this ranch bunk house making some combread to go with my chǔ when i hear the horses start raising 9 lands of hell, 2 types of chaos and a side of mayhem throw on my coat, grab my mosin and afix the bayonet as i charge out the door towards the corrals in almost knocked ormy feet by the smell first of. smells like a wookie in heat, but i cant see anything looming まof the growing darkness o i make it the main corral attached to the bam and i can see all the horses are panicking, shying away from one side of the comal, the one part of > cant be sure but i would bet money ts he head of the same one i saw it take a few days ago, trn of the neck、just below the head -looking to the treeline i can see a form fading into the pines >bury the head and get the horses calmed down, head back to the cabin othis spooked my horses, made me bum my combread and kiled a deer in MY temitory the next day i keep an eye out, head towards the northem pastures and manage to back another coyote, but i bring the whole carcass back with me this time mother fucker >skin it out carefully, made sure to leave the guts intact, save the hide for later use and bury the carcass underneath some old straw to let it ripen bloated and mpe cayote gather a few pine bows and use an E tool, did a bed to lie down in, cover my tracks with the pine boughs and line the bed with them >Open up cayote and leave it about 10 ft in front of me, cover up my last tracks, fox bayonet, chamber a round and cover my sef with snow now the wating game begins >manage to get used the the rotten coyate smell ater awhile, toes are cold but not the numbness that heralds the numbness of hostbite, thank god for redwings the my □ Anonymous 02/19/16(Fn)03 1056 No 28981228 File its footsteps were barely making a sound in the snow with that musky odor getting stronger with each footfal a hard time controlling my aven wth could see moving through the trees now but my first thoughts on a bearike or dog head and muzzle were wro g. andi ealized where had sr elled something like this musk before long legs and torso leading to powerul shoulders what i guess at a hunch was the neck of an oversized goat head, easily almost 3 meters tall black beady eyes wth a malevolence in themn and stumpy homs pushing theough the hair above ts brow i could see the greasy hair of its chin dripping with saliva leaking from the coners of its mouth as it snifed the air sounding for all the world ike an enormous set of bellows it snorted out a fetid plume as it raised it head and looked past my position to the bam and ranch seemingly satisfed, it stepped out of the trees, crouched and moved towards the coyote, i wated as it got closer 30 s15 sucking in as much air as i could i leap from my concealed position, bringing my mosin up over my head and shouted for all i was worth that sound that came out ofl me i dont think i could ever replicate, Ei did it would have t everything was contained in that scream, every shouted order to for bayonets and charge, every screaming bails on fre rush across no mans land, every howl of fury as blades met, and every roar of primitive fury that another dare take what is mine stopping dead in its tracks i reared up to its full teerible height, almost twice mine in boots and coyote coat >summoning up another shout i shouldered the rifle and took a pace forward, how, i dont know, i was ready to piss mysef with my own stupidity this was something alse, this was a force of nature, and i was going to stand aganst it File ducking its head it glared at me with those obsidian orbs of primordial hunger, this creature was contesting its claim s own, the bass loose the tenuous hold i had u ears i couldet move forward everything in me was screaming to cut an run, but as i stood there gazing down the abused wooden length mosin, the dings and pts in the stock stood dont lonow how, i dont know why, but i took strengh in that, this weapon had faced monsters before, faced an unstoppable machine and brought with a snort of fetid breath it moved to take another step forward anawering with another cro-magnon hol i stode forward, standing over the offending ple of guts that had become the Ine in the snow a scarce few yards from me stood a creature out of forgotten legends, a nightmare made mandest glaring at me with hatred a low rumbling growl bat that i could feal in my chest as its lips skinned back over foul teeth in twisted parody of a grin, baring teeth that had no business in even an over sized goats mouth a third primitive scream escaped my lips as i sighted just over its shoulder and ired my mosin erupted from the i stepped forward, past the coyote, and raised the rifle above my head, stretching upwards on the balls of my feet for as much extra height i could muster, screaming at the top of my lungs for whatever reason, that was enough, backing up and fnally tuning around, it stalked off into the woods somehow deep down in that primitive part of my bran knew i had won, but the ratonal part of my brain stil wanted to piss myself 02/19/16(Fr003 40 50 № 28981350 the barn with a bottle never came across another kill anywhere on the property ater that, found tracks, but never aywhere near the perimeter clearing between the fence and the tree line. even sighted it from a distance a few times after that, but alwarys from a long ways i made the barest mention to the boss ater he had been back for awhile, but he just chalked it up to al the other crazy shenanigans id been up too while i held down the fort for 2 months, but wasnt realy interested. tried talking to a few tribal elders, but none of them wanted anything to do with me thats pratty much it for spooky stones from that tima gave each other a fairly wide berth.