#and I'm a bit nervous to interact with the ppl I look up to..

[nervocat]

my discord so inactive it's kinda crazy........

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

m'starting to get my groove back no emperor so here's a lil valentines day piece i wrote, hope yall enjoy ♡ ! ( a lil bit more love for the hopeless romantic singles like me, ppl in a relationship yall can get that from your s/o's..still love yall tho ♡)

fem reader, katsuki is a nervous lil thing, his friends don't help( they do end up helping him out tho), just pure fluffyness, bksquad boys are sassy towards each other but all in good fun, bkg is a softie, kirimina kinda hinted but eiji shuts it down take it how u wanna, food n takeout mentions,dude talk written by a girl trying her best, kirishima's sheets smell bad lemme know if i missed sum else ♡ !! (no friends to lovers mentioned in this one btw..starting to feel myself goin thru withdrawal already..), not rlly reader oriented like usual but i thought this was cute lol i like the idea of katsuki caring about us so much he goes out his way to ask for help from others (despite hating doing so)teehee (also i like the idea of these silly guys interacting and i like hc-ing them okay okay i'll stop rambling okay-)

the last thing kirishima expected at 9.34 pm was someone basically busting down his door with how hard they were knocking on it.

eijirou opens the door urgently and is even more suprised to see his foul mouthed best friend on the other side of the door.

"woah, bakugou, man !" he exclaims seeing the state his friend was in. his eyes looked droopy and his clothes were wrinkled up like he had done a lot of moving around. usually, he would've assumed his friend had just awoken from a good nap, but his restless expression said otherwise. "what happened to you ? you look—"

" 'm fine." bakugou gruffs hoarsely, taking a deep breath at his friends widened eyes, softening up his demeanor just slightly " i'm good," he rephrased "just—you gonna let me in or what ?"

eijirou sputters out an "of course, of course" only for his friend let himself in before he could even move aside. though he immediately freezes when he sees-

"woah, kacchan's gone nutso ! " denki exclaims, face turning red from laying upside down on kirishima's bean bag for way too long.

"and he's up past 8 ? must be the apocalypse or somethin' " sero chuckles from his place on the floor near the dresser.

bakugou groans has he flops onto eijirou’s bed "of course you losers are here" his complaint is muffled against the pillows, but not muffled enough to where the rest of the boys can't hear.

"hey ! we were here before you ! 'f anythin', you're the one intruding—!" denki gulps, eyebrows furrowed. he quickly spins around to lay right when he feels the blood rushing to his head, taking a deep breath afterwards. sero chuckles and bakugou deadpans at kaminari for a good fourty seconds before slamming his head back down and groans even louder.

kirishima decides he's at a safe enough distance to sit down on his own bed, without making any sudden moves so as not to anger the beast that is an angry, sleepy bakugou. he places a hand near his friends leg, where he deems he's at safe to ask "what's up man ? you're usually in bed by this time.." he hears sero make a noise in agreement.

"yeah, or he's havin' kissy-kissy time with his giiiirrrlffrrieeeend.." kaminari sings, kicking his feet in the air jokingly. bakugou, to everyones suprise, flinches at the mention of you, then slams his head against kirishima's pillow harder and groaning even louder.

all three friends share a curious-somewhat worried look. kirishima nudges his head in bakugou's direction, silently begging his friends to say something. said friends adamantly shake their heads, as if synchronized, making a cross motion with their arms. kirishima sighs to himself, some friends.

yet again, he is the first one to speak up " did..did something happen between you two, didja fight or something ?" he asks carefully, his entire body is strained and the air in the room is so heavy, everybody present ready to get a big portion of the great lord explodo-bomberkill's anger.

only to be met with bakugou turning around to lay on his back eyebrows strained slightly and eyes absent, thinking about something they don't know "what ? course we didn't fuckin fight, idiot." he answers simply.

the three friends all let out an obnoxious sigh of relief, to katsuki's slight confusion.

"hoo, okay." kirishima answered relieved. he knows you and bakugou don't fight very much (which he thinks is super manly) but he knows that when it happens bakugou get's extremely—EXTREMELY—irritable, so it's best to stay away from him while he has his heart broken for a little bit, unless he reaches out by himself, but that only happens when he feels really bad and came to ask for advice on how to get his boyfriend priviledges back. "soo.." eijirou sings "what happened then ?"

bakugou's face hardens and the group stiffens again, preparing for a latent explosion--perhaps the volcano was still dormant and was about to be set off. the three boys hold their breaths.

bakugou takes a deep breath, a sour expression on his face.

3..

bakugou huffs out a sigh.

2...

he opens his mouth to speak and—his cheeks are turning pink ?

"valentine's day's after tomorrow and i don't know what the fuck to get her."

the three boys slump over and kaminari does so so hard his face bangs against the floor. kirishima feels like he's in a sitcom or some gag anime.

" that's it ?" sero chuckles to himself "what ? you're worried for valentine's day ?" sero mocks, gladly taking the opportunity to mess with the blond "that shit's easy man." he cackles, leaning against the dresser more comfortably.

"yeah dude, all you gotta do is get her some chocolates and like—a teddy bear or somethin' girls love that typa stuff !" kaminari piped up, having lifted his head up from the floor. sero nods and bakugou lifts himself up to scoff at them. it feels like it comes from the deepest depth of his very being and kirishima feels a little hurt, despite not being the target of the attack.

"this is why you losers don't have girlfriends yourselves, so i don't wanna hear anythin' from you." kaminari chokes out an "ouch, dude !" " sides, i'm not just gonna settle for that boring ass shit for my girl. no chance in hell." bakugou concludes gruffly.

"yeah, yeah we get it you're the perfect boyfriend" sero quips bitterly, rolling his eyes. " why'd you come here to ask us if, according to you, we get none ?" he questioned raising an eyebrow.

"i came here for shitty hair, not you bastards." the blond spits, rolling his eyes as well before turning to kirishima, who jumps a little at his friends slightly desperate eyes on him.

"woah, i don't have—what makes you think i would be any help ?" the redhead splutters, waving his hands around.

"don't you have something goin' on with alien chick ?"

"what ?! no dude, we're just friends !"

at that, bakugou's eyes widen the slightest bit before he groans for what feels like the 5Oth time tonight, and flops back onto the bed dramatically, turning his head away from his friend " your fuckin' useless too, then." his friend grumbles angrily.

"hey !" kirishima exclaims "mean ! i help you with your girlfriend troubles all the time without having one !"

bakugou turns to face his friend again with narrowed eyes, before exhaling a frustrated sigh and lifting himself up again, eyebrows furrowed. "your sheets smell like ass by the way." he chides, nose scrunched slightly.

"h-hey !" kirishima reiterates " i was gonna wash 'em !"

bakugou gives him an incredulous look, before shaking his head, sighing.

"well look, how about you just get her something you know she likes, isn't that good enough ?" sero offers, shrugging to himself.

"ou ! i saw a guy on tiktok ask his girlfriend out with wingstop, you could like-" kaminari, despite getting lightheaded before has apparently not learned his lesson as he flips around on his back again "—ask her to be your valentines with some fast food chain she likes, and those cute pink heart balloons they sell at the mall, y'know !"

the boys all hum at kaminari's suprisingly helpful idea. kirishima doesn't wanna say it out loud but he really hadn't expected such a cute idea from his electric friend.

"y'know, i was gonna say you were just hungry with the wingstop thing, but that's actually not a bad idea kaminari." sero hums absentmindedly with an impressed expression on his face. kirishima sweatdrops at his lack of tact but isn't really suprised.

"fuck you, man ! you guys never trust me with this stuff." kaminari whines mostly to himself. "yer track record isn't really the best when it comes to scoring girls, is it ?" sero retorts.

kirishima shakes his head seeing his friends start to bicker. he decides to ignore them and turn to his spiky haired friend, who seems deep in thought "well, what about it ? that sound like a good idea ?" he asks.

"s'not half bad.." his friend mutters in response " it's a good start, i guess."i if he notices how kaminari presses a hand to his chest with a heartfelt look on his face, he doesn't comment on it.

"oh, maybe try the take-out and a movie, i'm assuming you're not trynna have a whole celebration, yeah ?" bakugou grunts in response, his nose scrunches as he cringes thinking about the idea. he shakes his head "no, want it to be..about just the two of us, y'know ?" he utters honestly, in a way that sounds way too out of character from him.

a symphony of awwwss resonates around the room and katsuki feels his cheeks heat up hard as he harshly tells his friends to shut up.

" but seriously i'm curious, you guys are already together right ? why would you need to ask her to be your valentine anyway—shouldn’t that be a given ? " sero wonders.

"i don’t fuckin know, my old hag says it’s about the principal or some shit like that." bakugou sighs, flopping back onto the bed and throwing an arm up over his eyes, it seemed like being up so late was affecting him.

"no way dude, you called your mom ?" kaminari asks, jaw practically reaching the floor (or the ceiling..?) in shock. bakugou flushes and splutters as he hears his friends reaction to this apparently shocking news.

“shut up.” he growls “she says it’s important to show i care.. my old man does it an' they're still together right now so he must be doin' something right.

"woah man.." kirishima uttered in awe " you're goin so far to make your girlfriend happy.." he clenches his fist "s-so manly !" bakugou simply grumbles to himself in response.

"honestly..i didn't expect that from you..like at all."

"fuck off !"

"like genuinely, at all. or maybe like, 0.00003 percent cha-"

" i'll fuckin' kill you tape arms !" bakugou barked, small sparks shooting out of his palms as he kneeled at the foot of kirishima's bed in pursuit of the black haired boy. kirishima swiftly swoops in and grabs his friends arm, quickly putting his finger over his mouth

"shhhh, man !" kirishima shushes. " if we're loud, class rep's gonna hear us !" he hisses.

"or worse, mr. aizawa..." kaminari whimpered.

all four boys share a shiver.

afterwards, bakugou sighs, acting as if him almost literally blowing up at his friend a minute ago hadn't happened and gets up to sit on the side of the bed.

"well whatever, i'm satisfied." he says, a little yawn leaving him "my folks gave me some ideas so i'll use those too." his eyes zip around the room and back to the floor, then he closes his eyes and speaks so quietly kirishima barely catches it

"you guys' idea isn't horrible either so i'll keep it in mind..thanks." he utters a quick " 'r whatever." before suddenly getting up and practically sprinting to the door.

it's quiet in the room as everyone sits stunned and kirishima is the first to speak again "o-oh yeah, no problem man, anytime !" he beamed, though still slightly shocked.

"yeah, no problem..!" kaminari can't seemed to decide if he wants to smile or be stunned. his mouth stuck in an awkward half-smile-half- '°O°-' face.

" course." sero raises a thumbs up and a small smile.

bakugou grunts to himself, graces his friends with a simple "night." then pulling the door open quietly, looking around the hallway quickly before swiftly creeping out the room, closing the door behind him. the boys quickly reciprocate the goodnight quietly before he can fully close it. he stutters at the door for a second longer and kirishima knows he heard them then, so he's satisfied.

it's quiet in the room for about 5 seconds after bakugou's left.

"dude, for some reason that made me feel all warm inside..is that just me ?" kaminari hummed, pressing a hand to his chest.

"nope, me too" sero admits, sighing to himself.

"yeah, same here" kirishima says as well, smiling to himself " he really cares about yn, huh ?"

"i can give him that, yeah" sero stretches, getting up so he can jump onto kirishima's bed.

"dude" he lifts his head up "your sheets do smell like ass." sero snickers.

" I- AM-GONNA-WASH-THEM !! "

afterwards valentines day comes around. the boys don't have valentines of their own but when they see you and katsuki hand in hand, with you holding onto those cute pink heart balloons from the mall, wearing a sweater a little too big for you and a valentines day gift bag in your one hand, with bakugou holding onto a bag of take-out and offering them a single side glance and a nod with a half smirk on his lips, they feel extremely proud of themselves. bakugou reminds himself to tell his friends he owes them one.

[subskz]

how did you manage to grow your blog so big? people follow me, but it seems like no one wants to send any requests. and i am slowly running out of ideas what to write next :/

hmm it can definitely feel a bit stagnant at first! i'm not sure if you made your blog recently, but sometimes really all it takes is a bit of time and things will progress naturally. i've been writing for 3+ yrs if you count the time before i deactivated my old blog, so it took a lil while for ppl to start coming forward and interacting (and even now, it's really a certain handful of ppl who pop in regularly hehe)

i'm sorry to hear that you feel like you’re losing steam ㅠ the way i started out this blog was by posting some writing i had done that wasn’t requested, putting it in the tags so that ppl could find it, and making sure it was said on my blog that requests were open if anyone wanted to send one! sometimes ppl are a bit shy, so being friendly always helps so that they feel comfy enough to come forward and send smth! if ppl are nervous to send a request, maybe you could try posting polls w different options of what to write next so you can get an idea of what your followers might be interested in! and that might also encourage them to be more interactive and send in a request of their own too 😸 for the issue of coming up w new ideas, you might find it useful to look at writing prompts that provide a short premise to bounce off of, or even just a single line of dialogue that can inspire a fic idea!

my best advice is really to just keep at it as long as you find enjoyment in it and make sure you’re doing/writing what you like, bc that’s the most important part! consistency also definitely helps, but overall i think it’s key to have fun w it and not force yourself, and eventually you’ll grow before u know it!

[yooniesim]

any suggestions for becoming a sims based blog? I used to do it back in the hayday of sims 3 but it's been YEARS and I still absolutely love making sims, but I'm too shy and nervous to interact with the community ;;;

hi nonny! this is a complicated question that I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask lol but let me try it out. I think I'm gonna separate it into two parts for ease of reading. And sorry if it's a bit more cynical than you probably expected. I've just learned a lot i wish I had done from the start, lol. So here we go.

Sims content

Post whatever tf you feel like. If you love making sims, post the hell outta them and don't worry about what anyone thinks. There's no one perfect type of content to appeal to everyone; the community is made up of a million smaller niche ones. Editors, sim makers, gameplayers, storytellers, cc makers, etc. If you're passionate about it, you'll find people that love your posts. So don't worry too much.

Don't get too hung up on editing, if you want your pics to look "better" then use gshade/reshade and/or simple psd actions to your liking. Don't let it get stressful cos it ain't worth it. If you don't enjoy editing, don't do it at all. (I wrote more about how I edit & make it easier in this post)

Try your very best not to worry about notes. I know it's hard. Everyone wants their stuff to be seen, but when it comes to engagement on here, you're aiming for quality over quantity. A few awesome mutuals commenting on your stuff is way better than 600 silent likes. Also, having more attention sucks bc it brings the vile swamp rats out of their holes to see what shit they can stir up. The brief serotonins aint worth it. Just aim to find a few cool ppl to talk about your sims with cos thats all that matters.

If you want, find bachelor/ette or similar challenges ppl are doing and submit sims for them. And once you get some mutuals/followers, open sim requests so you can make sims for people. It's super fun and awesome to see your sims in other people's games! And you don't have to talk too much if you don't feel like it, but it's an easy way to get involved with others.

Social stuff & safety

Comment on peoples posts often if you like them. Engage with ppl. Reblog posts you see you like but don't really have any reblogs. I know you said you're shy but, this is most of the way to actual have mutuals that enjoy talking to you and comment on your stuff as well. You can just not talk if you want but it'll make it harder to have any engagement unless you're really good at edits or cc making.

Don't get involved with drama/discourse, it means nothing and amounts to nothing. If you're going to boost someone else's post, look into it first and look for evidence that it's even true before you reblog. If people hate on you in your inbox, block the anon and don't respond even to laugh at them. Block anyone that gives you bad vibes. They look at you funny, breathe wrong, use a color you don't like. Block. If anyone tries to start shit with you, block & completely ignore them & don't comment on it. It hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it, and people will move on if you ignore them.

Don't reveal any personal info about yourself on here or to anyone in DMs. Don't use your real name. Don't have anything connected to your other socials. Don't trust anyone on here with your vulnerable emotions, past trauma, etc. And don't say anything in DM you wouldn't feel comfortable with everyone else on the internet potentially seeing.

If you pledge to people on patreon, be aware that your email will show up on their end when you do. Dont use your real name as your patreon username.

If simblr is causing you stress, you feel like your mental health is suffering, take breaks. Log off or delete the app for a while.

And... I think that's all I can think of for now. If there's anything else detailed you wanna ask about feel free. But these are just my general thoughts. Good luck, nonny :)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

arrrghhh and having a moment just now b/c earlier i was rewatching this clip and appreciating how ofc not only is it a stellar little expression saga of jeremy's there but it's so Relevant to how we're being shown like [yeah clearly this is a bad idea but we are led to understand why he'd do it anyways] when like yeah jeremy's hurt & miserable as this new computer enemy immediately beating him up insulting him like you're the worst die Admit You're The Worst & Die. but also like jeremy was already There & already getting that message from others / life, which is why he's in this situation already, and why even though this obvious antagonism & hurtful treatment Does dig that hole a little deeper it's like, still more of the same from jeremy's perspective / a supposed further confirmation of what he was already sufficiently believing was true anyways. but what's so different & new to him is this like invented & temporary Vision Of How Things Could Be where suddenly he's getting attention that is so positive & everyone is sooo hyped about him we love everything about you....and That's what's so much more motivating to jeremy than the previous shit that he of course experienced as Unpleasant

and then just now was looking at this gifset again with christine being surprised by how as she's increasingly exiting the defensive mode of trying to stay out of the way / rein herself in, jeremy's just interested and encouraging and giving Thee clearest most positive feedback as earnestly and spontaneously as she's being rn....the way that she's having a parallel experience to jeremy's Mall Visions Of Possibility like here's this random person suddenly who is responding so positively to whatever tends to be reacted to negatively as [weird/wrong/overmuch]....their earnest spontaneous little parallel threads that keep weaving together throughout the story like. christine and this ever surprising new person who first crops up super nervous but then really openly enthused about Her enthusiasm; freaking out at a mall food court; doing great at play rehearsal even though he's new to this; then a whole moment where at first he's maybe being confusingly standoffish compared to that enthusiasm at their first meeting but then the whole [i guess a part of me xyz] section of a guy that i'd kinda be into like waaaaauugh oh lord and now i'm thinking of the agtikbi reprise like i am sweeping the bmc obcr up into my arms for so many reasons & including that track is a hell of one....being presumably a bit further bemused by jeremy's whole deal but during this period where christine's presumably a bit preoccupied w/the play and with trying to try new things and dating jake, there goes jeremy suddenly dating brooke apparently & eventually evidently christine is like okay i guess he's in this popular kids group more cohesively than i am & [whatever interpretations in how christine thinks that jeremy is also hooking up far & wide w/ppl in that group lol] but here he is also feeling in over his head & overwhelmed & out of place after trying to play the part & Act Correctly & indeed managing to end up here & yet....And Yet they can have another earnest vulnerable spontenaous enthused encouraging moment on the couch, despite that then of course christine's like okay look in general What is going on around here, and that's even before anyone's burned down a house & so forth, all before we he she they get Proof of what jeremy wants & feels & chooses, and have that reunion finally with finale jeremy where it's like, yeah he's got more confidence in Himself, ofc he still likes her and her as herself, and he's still nervous but okay with that, she's more comfortable likewise being out of her comfort zone lol not trying to maximally stay either in the one arena she can be herself Or otherwise out of everyone's way, ugh their vimh moment like that willingness to be vulnerable with this person b/c as in any interactions you're not guaranteed "safe" but the stakes of that and effort of navigating are made lower by having this trust and understanding and knowing this person genuinely cares....the fact that they can misunderstand each other And That's Fine because they can and do just go "no, i mean xyz" which in turn isn't to chastise but an earnest effort to connect & let this other person understand & know you better & believing that They want to exert the effort to Try To Get It, to Genuinely Care....waah

tl;dr that the way jeremy is (theoretically) looked at in the mall while simply existing when everything is going to be wonderful and so alive & is so moved by is the way christine experiences jeremy looking at her For Real when they're first properly meeting in the i love play rehearsal scene, and furthermore: ;ww;

[game-set-canet]

Red Bull BassLine 2023 - besties, get ready for “Mira’s tennis experience - part 3”

long story short: last year's edition was better.

don't get me wrong it was really good this year, but i think last year's was better (and 2021's edition was better as well).

line-up 2023 was: Andrey Rublev, Domi Thiem, Jurij Rodionov, Fábián Marozsán, Frances Tiafoe and Alexander Zverev. obviously, i had my difficulties with a part of the line-up.

what was really sad was that 4 out of the 6 players left before the event was over. Andrey left after his last game, Tiafoe, Marozsán and Rodionov left before the break before the final, which means only the finalsts Domi and Zverev stayed until the very end.

Autographs i got an autograph from Domi - which i'm very very proud of!! 🥰🥰 but for most kids it's it wasn't very easy to get an autography. Andrey didn't do any (same for Marozsán), Rodionov only did like 5 autographs, Tiafoe didn't want to get up from his chair to write autographs...so he asked you to throw the stuff you wanted to get signed at him (works for all the tennis balls, doesn't work for pictures/photos, posters, etc. but he didn't really care), Domi and Zverev were the only ones to write LOTS of autographes after their final.

Andrey It was Andrey's birthday yesterday, so Domi and the whole crowd sung "happy birthday, dear Rublo" before their match <33 in Austria we say "laut, falsch und mit Begeisterung" when people sing something very enthusiastic but it doesn't match the notes 😂 and he got a "Sacher-Torte" a typically Austrian cake. They wanted Andrey to eat or at least taste it and while Andrey was discussing with the presenters if he wants to do it or not, Zverev cut the cake, put a piece of it on a plate and handed it over to Andrey. But because there were no forks Andrey had to bite off??? it was a bit of a chaos 😂 BUT I HAVE A VIDEO OF IT!

During Red Bull BassLine there is a DJ playing music almost during the whole event and Andrey was singing along almost the whole time. personally i think his best performance was during Friday by Nightcrawlers and Riton.

Domi Domi looked so happy when the crowd was cheering for him when he entered the arena <33 his tennis was quite good, a few mistakes but some BEAUTIFUL long line back hands 🥹 i've never seen something more beautiful (and i've seen Carlitos play live). and he is so unbelievable beautiful in real life 💕 his smile is so so cute, i honestly can't 😭😭

Zverev i was honestly so annoyed by him the whole evening bc he knew exactly what to do and to say that the crowd would cheer for him...at the end he stayed until almost every fan had an autography etc, he was the last to leave and of course ppl loved it 😒 and his tennis was really good yesterday. very high serves speed, lots of aces and he moved good on court 😒 it was disgusting.

Tiafoe, Marozán, Rodionov and i know i sound ignorante now or like i don't care about the others but...i don't know what to say about the other three 😂 Tiafoe looked happy to be here, but his tennis wasn't that good, he made a lot of mistakes, played a bit too fast and lost his matched really clear. Marozsán seems quite nice but he didn't do anything...his tennis was nice but he didn't interact with the crowd or the other players. And almost the same for Rodionov, he said he was very nervous to play this kind of tennis-event with such different rules and all that stuff (and his puls was the highest of all six during playing (Zverev had the lowest))

[this-is-krikkit]

Hey Sunshine ☀️❤️

I missed your post, so I don't know if you still answer the Fanfic Writers Asks???

As the nosy moot I am, I chose 8, 9 & 17 👀

Please tell me everything 😘

Mwah kith kith ❤️

hey eVal 💜

i'll always answer any question you want to ask, our conversations about writing and levihan in general are always a great source of inspiration for me 😘😘

send me some fanfic writer asks!

8) Do you take inspiration from real life? If so how do you incorporate it into your fics?

i do, but i don't always do it on purpose! sometimes i hear an anecdote and think it would be a great setting for Levihan so i write it down and use it, either as a main event or just mention it as a headcanon about their relationship; and i've undoubtedly used some of my own dating experience before 🤭 as i said though, most of the time i don't do it consciously, i'm just like wow i'm so inspired by this fic idk why!! and then when i start to edit i realize it's a bit too familiar a situation 😅

9) Do you visualize scenes in your head before you write them? (Can you picture the setting, character body language etc)

i don't always visualize settings/backgrounds perfectly when they're new places i made up or like when they're on expeditions in canonverse, but i do have a pretty clear picture of the Scouts HQ, Levi's place in the Underground (looks nothing in my mind like it did in the manga/anime btw lol), Hange's office/lab...

i do always visualize character's body language, facial expressions, and positions, it's kind of an obsession actually? i don't mean only the kissing or smut scenes, every single time levi and hange interact in my fics, you can be sure i pictured every single bit of it before/while writing it down. i don't do it as much for all the characters when there are a lot of them in a scene, but i do focus extra hard on these two and my other faves. a lot of my editing actually consists in removing stuff that i think may be perceived as too precise, too analytical and boring (like, which hand they're using to get each other off -no one cares but me lmaoo).

17) Do you have any wips that you can tell us about? What are you most excited for in you wip?

i'm close to being done with Practice chap 2!! it's way longer than i wish it were, bc i got lost into building more background for teenage!levihan and their friendship before the events of chap 1 and i'm kind of regretting not having thought of some of these before posting chap 1... i might turn it into a series in order to post some past scenes (some i'm referencing in this chap, some completely other stuff) in a non chronological order? we'll see. i'm nervous bc it's been so long i think a lot of ppl who asked for a 2nd chapter in the first place have forgotten about that fic altogether, so i'm afraid it'll either be ignored, or disappointing... but we'll see!

[decolonize-the-everything]

i have a question and im kind of nervous about asking it but please bear with me, youre like one of the only older ndn’s i know and i only even recently got into contact with anyone who might be able to get me in contact w *my* tribe/community (which super excites me bc i made a friend and theyre my tribe and theyre going to teach me stuff & my prayers were answered! but for a long time its just been me and my dad and alot of information that we’ve kept to ourselves bc people told us we shouldnt bother)

but like, im nervous about using 2spirit bc im reconnecting & also not just native, im white too, but it defines my identity really well. im also 19 so maybe im wrong. ive been suppressing reconnecting for years bc of the way i was treated in the town i grew up in, and some online interactions. i know you arent the end all be all, but idk, its hard to know where to look for guidance when you dont have any elders. not that youre an elder i just look up to you and have been trying to work up the courage to ask. (my grandfather passed some years ago, and his mother before i was born. his father wasnt even in the picture) when i pray and i ask the ancestors, i know what my answer is. i feel my answer. but im afraid of what people will say to me, even when i know it

sorry for bothering you with this i hope you have a nice day mx. antifa (cause. ur the ceo. I tried mx. the-left and mx. decol but mx. antifa was better)

Okay so I got this a little bit ago and I've been putting it off because I have my own identity issues as a mixed person and I'm certainly no authority on anyone else's identity.

That said, 2spirit is a term that means a Lot more than just a way to identify yourself. There's a community role that 2spirit ppl play. Tbh? I'm a bit too far removed to tell you exactly what that role is and it's definitely something you should talk about with your tribal friend to see how 2spirit plays into your own tribe.

I guess what I'm saying is think less of what the native terminology can do for you and invite more genuine connection to your own tribe instead. There may be another word they use, role they play, or even an entirely different word that's even Better for you within your tribe. And if reconnection and picking up bits of identity along the way is your goal then you should certainly be doing so with the teachings and traditions of your own tribe.

I share a lot of the experiences you mentioned and this ^^^ is why I personally don't identify as 2spirit.

I'm now comfortable in my mixed identity and I do feel like I have a right to reclaim that identity. But that doesn't mean I get to participate in that identity with ignorance. Personally, I don't know much about being 2spirit and as such I wouldn't want to do something Wrong by reclaiming it and using it ignorantly/offensively.

Like I said, I'm certainly no authority though and ultimately this is your choice, your identity, and your journey.

Nobody can (or will) give you permission for this, and it seems that's what you're asking for. But this is a personal decision. And tbh I'm doubtful you'd find an ndn willing to say "yes you're native enough" because it's definitely um. Idk how to explain it without sounding cheesy and corny as hell, but only You know if you are native enough. It's something you feel and know and accept in your core, in your heart. Nobody will Ever be able to tell you you're native or not. Only you. Only you know how genuine your connection is.

And those of us are anti-blood quantum and are aware of the identity issues it causes don't see any natives as "part native". That's a colonial concept to us. Being native isn't something you can quantify and measure. It's not in your DNA, it's in your ancestry and proximity to natives and culture. A lot tribes for example would accept outsiders into their tribe and not sharing our blood never made them any less a part of the tribe. Never made them less native once they were accepted. Their connection to community is what made them native, who they called family is what made them native.

You either identify as native or you don't. And if you claim and live like a native and have that history and feel comfortable then who am I to say "no you aren't native enough"?

Me and the natives I know would never undermine the identity of a mixed native like that.

I'm sorry it wasn't the answer you wanted but I hope I helped.

(also omg mx. Antifa? I'm obsessed, everyone call me this instead of decol or dtl from now on pls)

[trixabke]

Hi! Saw your matchups open and I was wondering if I could get a romantic matchup for HQ? I'm a 5'8-ish girl with Southeast Asian features though I would sometimes be mistaken as East Asian at certain angles. I have long, straight black hair but has like this natural wave at the bottom and dark brown eyes that look closer to black. A bit chubby, but I've been losing weight mostly for health reasons but it does affect what my body looks like (I've been successful thus far!!!). I wear glasses and usually have an alt sense of style, dark makeup, heavy eyeliner, almost all black clothing (ocassional white, navy, maroon, but mostly black). My pronouns are she/they and I'm bisexual male-leaning. I'm an INTP enneagram 5w6 tritype 539, my zodiac sign is Pisces, and my hobbies mostly fall on the artistic side of the scale like drawing, writing, some arts and crafts, but I also like maths (aiming to be an architect bc it's a combo of art and maths) and research (research includes personality types if you can't tell from me giving my mbti up to tritype). I prefer reading to watching because I get bored when I watch movies (I fell asleep during End Game, it was an accident). I'm a social introvert and I'm only talkative or loud when I'm comfortable in a situation, but my social battery drains fast. Most people say I'm cold and scarily professional the first time they meet me, not to mention unreadable (my facial expressions are,,, not too readable, they usually listen to the tone of my voice for clues), but people closest to me say I'm the chillest, most laid-back person with a funny sense of humour that can talk their ear off. I've only ever gotten angry twice in my life and people prefer to avoid pushing me that far bc they said I'm scary when I'm actually angry and not just irritated or annoyed, but they also avoid getting me irritated or annoyed bc they also say my glare is scary. An addition bc I think this may help, people probably don't know if I don't like them because I don't make aggressively snappy comments towards them or hint at it, I simply ignore their whole existence and move on. My ideal type would definitely be someone who at least has the same level of maturity as me or even more and a capable leader (I've always been one of the oldest people in my friend groups and I'm the oldest sibling so I had to lead and be in charge a lot, I don't like being in charge, I'm more of an advisor or right-hand man type of person), I would prefer someone who isn't too boisterous or obnoxious bc people like that drains my energy too much. I most definitely steer myself away from immature and childish people because it forces me into a role I don't want. Maybe someone loyal and understanding would be an ideal as well because well, those two are the bare minimum if I have to be honest. Last but not least in this long ass ask, my love language is mostly quality time with a mix of physical touch (I usually don't like being touched or touching other than people who I see in a romantic and intimate light). Wowhee this is longer than my to-do list for the next five years, hope this much information helps!! Be aware that I'm fasting and have only slept like 4 and a half hrs beforehand. Thank you in advance if you answer my ask! No pressure to get it done quickly. Stay hydrated and healthy!! (This is also one of the first times I'm sending an ask without anon on and I'm kinda,,, nervous lol).

HIII, this was like so sweet :) also, if ur cool w it, u should tell me more abt the tritype thing cuz when I googled it, it seemed really cool. I love the long asks; they literally bring a smile to my face, and I'm so happy u interacted dw u did perfect! NGL, I love ppl w glasses, so u have a soft spot in my heart now <3

(also, the how u guys met part is so long I'm sorry)

(romantic) I match you with...

akaashi:

you guys probably met at a party..like just:

ok so one of your friends probably had a rough day and really wanted to go to this party, and even though u were tired, u wanted to make them happy and caved

they promised to stay away from super huge crowds as a way of thanking you

bokuto happened to convince akaashi to go to that same party

akaashi doesn't really like parties much, but he goes to mediate boktuo

He probably is trying to find bokuto a bathroom (bless the poor man) and like walks into a room of you and your friend + a couple other ppl and is like, YOOO??

because to others, you might blend in, but in his eyes, you stand out

and as the door opens, your eyes move from the conversation to him like staring into the depths of his soul, and he is half scared but also like can't take his eyes off of you because he just thinks ur so perfect

is interrupted when bokuto comes up and jumps on akaashi and announces he did indeed find a place to piss!!

akaashi just leaves, but his mind keeps wandering back to u

then, like god was listening, he sees you sitting down listening to your friends talk and is like admiring you because you look so pretty listening to ur friends talk

ur friend prob notices u getting a little overwhelmed and lets u go back home and thanks u for spending time with them

BUT before you leave, bokuto asks your friend for their number

ok ik, this doesn't make sense, but like: bokuto is not very observant, BUT when his best friend looks, so content watching u (not in a creepy way istg), he knows what he has to do

texts ur friend later and sends akaashi's number to them and tells them to send it to you

ALTHOUGH- I see this as the night akaashi met you, like, something you don't remember but something he always will

u planned to meet up after a little bit, and one day, he just said he liked you, then u just didn't respond because what?? and then u text him a couple days later saying u like him back, and it becomes official (bokuto is really proud of himself for this and tells akaashi he owes him for being so great)

Akaashi has had to deal with bokuto a lot, but I think he enjoys being able to take care of people (don't get me wrong, he loves to be praised and have compliments, he may seem calm, but on the inside, it couldn't be more different)

he understands that u need someone to be there for you instead of you being there for everybody else

he also notices everything, the signs when your social battery is running low, when you start to feel stressed and back away, or after you have just had to be emotional or in a vulnerable situation and just need to be alone

he can tell anything just by the way you blink, no matter how expressive or unexpressive you are

he likes to think very logically as well and knows the right balance of emotion to bring in, especially with you, and when he makes a mistake, he learns from it

sorry from him really does mean sorry, and he will make an effort not to do that same thing again

he also really loves that you enjoy math, him being more of a literature person

it's like a really subtle thing, but in his head, the contrast is so cool [idk if u know what this is, but it's called the olive theory (if you don't, it should be on youtube; just search up like the olive theory from how I met your mother, there is a TikTok sound that has it w like music and I think that one matches the best) but I feel like to him it's that kind of energy, like something that doesn't mean a lot to others, but it's really special to him]

(plz ignore that I just wrote a whole fucking essay on that bullet; I just felt very strongly abt that)

also does really simple little acts for you

like washing your glasses when he gets up in the morning, but always washing them with hot water, so they feel nice and warm when you put them on

if he's at the store and remembers that your toothpaste was running low, he will buy you some

the dates would be pretty chill, probably just the 2 of you somewhere private

like, sitting outside and he's reading while you draw until it gets dark and then stargazing together

if he hears you talking about something a lot, he will probably try and plan it or buy it and surprise you

there is a baseline of maturity in your relationship you both really respect

just a comfortable, safe, and understanding relationship of you both trying to better yourself for each other!

.

.

Yours is so long, oml anyway. I really hope u liked this. I had a lot of fun writing this so ty for sending a rec, and if u see any spelling errors, no, u didn't :)

do not steal my work and claim it as your own

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

[lilhawkeye3]

This is probably silly but I just feel really nervous when it comes to tag games and stuff like them? I want to do them and I enjoy doing them, it's just incredibly hard to work up the nerve for them. Because I have interacted with people but it doesn't feel like enough, so it just feels like tagging them would be overstepping and rude.

But on the other hand not tagging anyone feels just as bad, like I'm not doing it correctly and somehow being rude to everyone participating as well as making myself look like an attention seeker by just popping up out of nowhere and participating. (especially since I don't get tagged, like, ever)

So feel free to ignore this, but I was just wondering if you might have any tips somehow? I know it's dumb but I just didn't know what else to do 😅

Tag anyone you want! Tbh even if you haven’t spoken, it can be a way that you start speaking to them. That’s what has happened to me!

I really don’t have any tips other than to tag whoever you like! Don’t stress over it too much, it’s just a fun little ask game online. But also if it’s really stressing you out then don’t force yourself to participate in them. It’s not worth that strain on you.

Personally, I’m scatterbrained and sometimes forget to do tag games that ppl tag me in so I feel a bit bad about that. And if they’re too long then I might not do it. But I try and do most that I’m tagged in!

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Pretty please, would you ship me with the band and the cast? I'm a hetero girl who is a PhD student in Media Discourse. I don't don't like my looks at all and struggle with self-esteem problems. I'm always friendly and kind to people. I hate talking about myself and being the centre of attention. Absolutely clueless in romance and all intimate things, I'm pretty oblivious when it comes to this. Perfectionist. Quiet. I love making jokes and sarcastic comments, books, movies, TV series, walks ^^

HELLOOOOO

hi u sound like a precious BEAN of a human i would genuinely love u if i knew you in person i attach so hard to ppl like you it is 100% my cancer tendencies ALSO HELLO FELLO MEDIA MAJOR I’M AN INTERACTIVE DIGITAL MEDIA: NEW MEDIA MAJOR but not a phd i am a dumb

anyways THE SHIPS R BELOW THE CUT

For the band, I ship you with John Deacon!

You are genuinely made for John, and he is made for you, for obvious reasons.

The biggest reason is your proclivity towards sarcastic comments. 

You had actually been Brian’s friend before you met Deacon, and Brian introduced you to the him after a show one night early on in the 70′s. You already knew the other boys because they hung around Brian’s so much, but Deacon tended to keep to himself and had his own small friend circle apart from them, so he was never around when you were.

Boy, did he regret that once he met you.

Deacon was very shy at first, as were you, but what caught his eye was the effortless way you managed to roast Roger without disrupting your quiet demeanor in any way.

“And then I said to her, ‘you ever seen the ceiling of the back of my car? would you like to?’“ Roger had said, earning a quiet scoff and eye roll from you that almost went unnoticed, save for Brian’s eagle eye. Brian loved to piss Roger off, and nothing would make him angrier than a girl who was unimpressed by his tactics.

“Not a fan, eh?” Brian asked, elbowing you as John watched you curiously, sipping his drink while you cleared your throat, glancing at Roger almost disdainfully, but not in a mean-spirited way.

“No disrespect, but I’ve heard better pick-up lines from a fortune cookie, Rog,” you remarked plainly, taking a drink of your beer as Roger’s face quickly soured, John almost choking on his drink and holding a hand over his mouth as you looked over at him with a smile and a kind gaze. “You alright?”

“Yeah, m’fine,” Deacon spoke from behind his hand, grabbing a napkin to wipe himself off as Roger scowled, still glaring at you.

“What? You think my one-liners are bad? I personally don’t.”

“Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.... Oh wait,” you teased, making Roger roll his eyes before he steered the conversation in another direction, Deacon snickering at the purposeful irony in your comment and gaining another wide smile from you before you happily returned to your quiet observing.

After that, Deacon was suddenly finding time to come around Brian’s, and he only ever stuck around when you were there. Although he claimed it wasn’t because of you, Brian was all too aware of Deacon’s partiality towards you, so he took it upon himself to set you up on a blind date with each other, just for shits and giggles.

Much to Brian’s enjoyment, you both hit it off on the blind date when you got the chance to banter by yourselves, and though John’s more affectionate tendencies confused you at first, you grew to love each and every one of his romantic gestures.

He always knew just how to structure them so you wouldn’t feel too put on the spot, and he never drew attention to them - after all, they were for you to enjoy, not the public, so he never made a big deal out of being showy.

When you were still just casually dating before he’d asked you to be his girlfriend, you’d come to your apartment one night after a particularly long shift at work. 

John had come in during that shift to see you, and you were sad to see him go. His smile had the power to make your day loads better, and when he had to leave, you were pretty bummed. 

So, it was a big surprise when you walked into your apartment to see Brian and Deacon in the kitchen, making what smelled like a heavenly pot of spaghetti. Dropping your bag on the hallway floor, you stared at them in partial confusion and partial amazement as you walked in, Brian turning around and jumping a bit before smiling and wiping his hands on a towel.

“That’s my cue to leave,” he mumbled, passing by and giving you a quick, friendly kiss on the head before he was out the door, leaving you alone with a very smiley Deacon.

“What’s all this?” you asked, genuinely baffled at what laid before you. Your table was cleared off - it had stacks upon stacks of books that you’d read tons of times, but never tired of. There were two sets of plates and silverware set out, and you watched as Deacon brought the spaghetti over to the table, sitting it on an oven pad before doing the same with a plate of garlic bread.

“Saw you weren’t having a good day at work,” he replied, “Figured I’d come cheer you up, but had to recruit a little help.”

“Gosh, did I really look that rough at work? I mean, I know I usually look pretty rough, but I must have been horrifying for you to do all this,” you laughed, rubbing the back of your neck as you ducked your head a bit.

Deacon pursed his lips at your small self-deprecating comment, then shook his head as he wiped his hands on the towel as well. 

“You always look beautiful, sweetheart.” His voice was quiet, but sure, and you found yourself blushing as you sat down at the table across from where he was standing, avoiding his gaze. “Hey, I mean it,” he almost whined, sitting down across from you and waving his hand to draw your attention back to his face. “You’re adorable, and you should know that.”

He asked you to be his girlfriend later that night, and spent the rest of the time showering you in compliments to make sure you knew you were gorgeous and perfect in every way to him.

What a little romantic.

Annnnnnd for borhap.... I ship you with Rami Malek!

GOD his energy confuses/scares me so much ANYWAYS

Rami was always your favorite of the friends in the BoRhap group - he wasn’t snobby (here’s looking at you, first impressions Gwilym), he wasn’t too goofy (@ Joe sorry buddy), and he wasn’t absolutely intimidating (Ben looks like he lives, eats, and breathes gym). Allen, Lucy, and Aaron were closer to the others than they were to you, but then there was Rami. He was just Rami, a slightly awkward, mildly anxious guy who loved to be around his friends, but also valued privacy. 

This value of privacy is what initially attracted you to him, oddly enough. Joe, Gwilym, Allen, and Ben were all having a heyday with their social medias, posting dorky pictures of each other and screwing around while you hung back, not wanting to be involved or in any of the pictures.

“You too, huh?” Rami asked, coming to stand next to you as you watched them goof around with each other. You looked over to Rami, shrugging and smiling.

“Not really my thing, honestly.” He nodded and gave you a reassuring smile, looking slightly nervous as he glanced over to the crew as well.

“I’m right there with you. I think my Instagram has maybe 2 posts on it... or is it 3?” he wondered aloud, his thoughtful face making you giggle and shake your head as you hugged yourself. “Want to go take a stroll around the studio instead?”

Looking up at him, you considered for a moment before nodding. “That sounds lovely.”

And from there, you two clearly became each other’s favorites. As much as the rest of the cast would have liked to insert themselves into your friendship to make fun posts about it online, you and Rami always found a way to keep your kinship (and eventual relationship) under wraps. It wasn’t necessarily that you hated social media, it was that you preferred to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible.

Even though Rami was the star, he also preferred the same thing. He didn’t want to steal the limelight when he didn’t feel that he deserved it.

The first stroll you’d taken with him? That turned into a regular occurrence.

Whenever you two had the chance, you were taking a walk together, even if you had no particular place in mind to end it. One time, he took you on a walk that he claimed was completely random, but as you got closer to one of your favorite bookstores in London, you started to smell the hint of a planned location by him.

“I knew I shouldn’t have believed you,” you giggled as you entered the bookstore, Rami holding open the door for you. 

“Hey, I may not be a king of nice gestures, but I tried for you,” he complained playfully, bumping your hip with his before he nodded over to the corner, where there was a small coffee bar run by a single barista you’d come to know by name.

“Hello there, lovebirds,” the barista greeted as you came up, making you blush and Rami rub his jaw in slightly embarrassment. “I’m just joking with you, haven’t seen you two in a while. The usual?”

“Well, you know, filming. And yes, please,” Rami had replied, stepping to move out of someone’s way as they came in the door behind you. His hand came to rest on your mid-back, but it stayed there when the door swung shut. 

You didn’t mind, though. Simple little things like that were preferred by you anyways, seeing as you weren’t a big fan of showiness or grand romantic gestures. Things like a hand on the back, or holding hands was perfectly okay for you - they were easier to understand, and easier to pull off without ending up a blushing mess.

Which, speaking of, you were still currently a blushing mess from the barista calling you two lovebirds. Rami noticed, raising an eyebrow at you gently before smiling and pressing his thumb into your back slightly, just to get your attention.

“What’s the matter? Don’t want to be here right now? We can go if you want.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you laughed softly, pressing your hands to your cheeks and sighing before laughing again. “Just getting used to the dating thing. God, I feel like I look like a tomato right now.”

“It’s cute,” Rami remarked simply, grabbing both of your drinks before heading over to one of the tables near the back, where you could sit in private and just relax. 

“Me being red as a fire truck is not cute, Rami.” He laughed at that, shaking his head and taking a drink of his coffee as he sat back on the chair that he’d scooted over so he could be next to you.

“Everything about you is cute, don’t lie to me.” You turned even redder, if that was possible at all, and Rami laughed softly as he wrapped his arm around you, squeezing your shoulder before kissing your head. “I’m being honest, really! You’re a cutie, don’t ever forget that.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” you laughed nervously, subconsciously leaning into his touch as you sipped at your drink. “Joe lets the entire Instagram universe know that on the daily.”

“If Joe brings you in here and the barista also calls you two lovebirds... I’m fighting him hand-to-hand. And that’s a fact.”

[hunkkeiths-blog]

So I just scrolled 20000 years back on your blog like the creep I am and I saw you mention schizophrenic Keith headcanons but never actually saw schizo Keith headcanons and I'm 👀👀👀

once again thank you so much for sending this! i really really love this au but i never talk about it bc i feel like no one cares and this makes me sooo happy!

also sorry again for answering late i just wanted to be able to type everything relatively quickly and use a readmore

(i added links that lead to wiki pages to explain what certain stuff is, you don’t need to click them or anything)

ok so here goes

[Food mentions and slight emeto for this part]

Keith has a lot of trouble with food, both bc of sensory issues and paranoia

when its sensory, its mostly if the texture is too different to whats hes used to, or if theres too much taste and theres anything else (a sound, some lights flashing, whatever) hell get overwhelmed really easily. so he tries to stick to relatively tasteless stuff

Keith also gets a lot of persecutory delusions and some of the most recurring ones is that his food has been poisoned, having relatively tasteless food helps with not being as convinced of that

On good days (well as good a day as you can have when you think your food has been poisoned anyway), he can sort of just power through it and eat enough to not be starving.

On bad days, he either doesn’t eat at all, or if he only realises it after having eaten he becomes sick/makes himself sick.

Back on Earth, especially during his year alone, he had 3-4 “trusted foods/brands” and he almost exclusively only ate those

Once on the ship, things get very complicated, because from the start, he doesn’t trust the altean food goo (he still doesn’t if he’s entirely honest, but they’ve all been eating it and none of them are dead yet so if it is poisoned its slow acting enough) so he mostly only eats when hes absolutely starving for the first month or so before he slowly starts to eat more of the altean meals

He does however trust what Hunk cooks partly because he trusts Hunk, partly because Hunk eats it too, and (taste+texture of the food goo aside) hes always more comfortable when Hunk cooks.

[Warning ended]

While developing and after when he had it (which was 2 or 3 years before he entered the Garrison), Keith ended up almost entirely isolated from people, in part because he would willingly withdraw from others, in part because the people who took care of him after his father left/died (foster families i guess? i dont really know how the system works and i cant imagine how much worse it must be for a schizophrenic kid so) didn’t really know what to do with him because he had really bad emotional blunting

Because he was mostly left alone, he started focusing alot on the delusions he had at the time, the main one of which was that he just wasnt human (which yes turned out to be somewhat true, but it’s still a delusion). that led him to thinking of going to space because of a feeling that something would happen there. which led him to the garrison which is how he ended up there.

At the Garrison, he was amazing at flying and mediocre at best in all his other classes.

This is partly because outside of doing stuff that could actually directly get him to space, he wasnt able to get any motivation to do anything else. (even if he gets kicked out, he can just steal a rocket or something right?)

he also didnt really have any friends because he didnt approach anyone and more or less actively avoided anyone trying to get close to him.

the way he just was; never showing any emotion, barely speaking, the weird things he sometimes did, etc; sort of drove ppl away on its own

(this is also sort of the reason he didnt remember him and lances “rivalry” in s1ep1. he never actually noticed lance thought of him as a rival, he just thought lance was sort of loud)

Shiro ended up like being a mentor or something to Keith, and Keith wasnt able to really avoid him

They start off sort of rocky, because Keith hates interacting with other people, due to paranoid thoughts (”he can read my mind”, “he wants to hurt me”, and so on) that, while they werent nearly as bad as off meds, were still present even with medication.

Slowly though, Keith warms up to Shiro and starts trusting him (though shiro is never really sure because Keith doesnt show it at all)

Keith starts doing better in all his classes, because he’s interpreted that shiro will be extremely disappointed in him if he ends up getting kicked out because of poor grades, and hes terrified of disappointing literally the only person in the world he trusts

It also leads to Keith putting a minimum of effort into becoming at least somewhat expressive 

When the kerberos mission fails, keith is destroyed. all his grades almost instantly drop and he barely shows up to class because losing the only person he trusts essentially makes him totally apathetic, and go back to having alot of paranoid thoughts/delusions (mostly surrounding the garrison staging the entire thing, sort of fake moon landing style but with actual murder to make people back off on exploring space because of Something), and feeling like he’s being stalked by people (not entirely untrue tbh), and deal with anhedonia. and thats how he gets kicked out/how he drops out 

Living entirely alone (as in without any supervision) was hell for Keith.

Moving to the shack after dropping out messed with his entire routine, and without a relatively strict routine, he ends up forgetting his meds

Off medication, he had really really really horrible episodes that almost always ended with him getting hurt in some way

Off-meds, he starts his garrison/shiro conspiracy wall

He also found the blue lions cave during an episode

After a while (keith never tries to find out how much time he spent without his meds because he forgot about them), he ends up taking his antipsychotics again, and almost destroys the wall, except theres a feeling he still has that he rememebers he had during an episode.

He ends up going to the cave again, and “Holy shit that was real??” so he restarts his wall while being a bit more down to Earth.

The day shiro crashes on earth is one of the best days of his life bc, well, shiro, but also because he was actually right for once.

Overall, Keith’s pretty good at organising his thoughts and not speaking incoherently, but if hes at all stressed, hell go through a lot of thought blocking

It’s really annoying because Keith hates not being understood and not finishing his points, but often, even if the person hes talking to reminds him what he was talking about, he cant remember what he was going to say after

He also used to think that the thought blocking was aliens and/or the government stealing away all his thoughts to study humans (or, before the garrison: not entirely human entities)

His thoughts are alot more disorganised than his speech shows (under normal circumstances, there are occasions where he does get mostly incoherent). He’s learned to think of what hes going to say step by step before saying it

What he says often still comes off as not entirely thought out, rude, etc because thinking about what order words are going to come out of his mouth doesnt fix not understanding how to interact with others

And here’s a bunch of stuff i couldn’t really make long enough to warrant a separate section:

Keith stims mostly when hes nervous or bored, and he stims by scratching his nails against things, because he likes the sounds it makes.

[self harm (sort of)] at some point, the team notices that when theres nothing for him to scratch (like a wall or something), hell scratch at his own skin, because scratching fabric feels/sounds horrible, often until he scratches part of it off. so they make him these little squares of material to scratch at

Keith does a lot of magical thinking (i cant find an easy link for this but in this case its like seeing signs in things that are seemingly unrelated if that makes sense) where he’ll see a ‘sign’ and feel like he has to do something (what something is varies from something very specific to just “something”)

since he obviously cant always do what hes supposed to do after seeing the signs, hes started writing down everything so he can do it later (lance’s idea). it helps a lot.

Keith hates places with background noises that arent constant (like they stop and start, stop and start), even if they arent particularly loud, because he loses his entire train of thought whenever it stops or starts

Ok! that’s all I can think of right now, I hope this answered what you were looking for! 

I lost my entire train of thought at least 5 times while typing this so I’ll probably add more things in my tag later on when I think of them again!

I’m also writing an actual story with this, it should come out around the end of June if you’re interested!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i'm rewatching a 2018 bootleg of bmc and realizing how much i relate to so many of the characters like?? awkward + exaggerated movements = a Mood. plus jeremy's frequent awkward laughing? that's That Good Content!! u feel? do you ever just connect to a character so much and just feel like :0 Someone Gets It! ? also sorry for the weird grammar, i feel like Correct grammar doesn't convey the same emotions lmao

oh word word word yeah!!!!!! i really appreciate how it’s like, look at how these characters are awkward and don’t fit in!! but it’s more than just that they fall on the wrong side of some arbitrary Cool/Uncool divide, like, on top of all the toher stuff causing problems for him, jeremy especially has this real social awkwardness that seems to be exacerbated by his nervousness. and like, personally, when i’m nervous and trying to like, socially interact for 4 seconds, it’s so often a disaster lol like….i literally trip over myself sometimes, like it’s all “how do i move, my balance is crap,” and im terrible at stringing together a coherent sentence and usually end up like, saying something weird or tangential at best and it’s just….a mess lmao and not just in the usual “i dropped something and spoke too fast or stammered a second” or anything way. like there’s totally a sort of social weirdness that puts ppl off or gets interpreted badly and that comes up here and i love that

christine is also super relatable even though i don’t really / haven’t ever acted much like that, it’s more of What I’m Like Internally, which like, i figure jeremy is kind of too b/c she’s definitely a bit ~weird~ but unlike him she’s embracing herself and really doing her own thing and he’s drawn to that cuz he’s so totally doing the opposite. rly rly appreciating how she kind of works herself up and you can tell how earnest she is and she’s just singing about having a ton of strong Opinions And Feelings and like, expressing herself with motion and having so much fun, god now i’m thinking abt the videos from the press day i love play rehearsal performance aaaahhh…….i’m super interested too in how apparently the 3.0 changes place more emphasis on christine feeling like she doesnt know Who She Really Is?? cuz thats mad relatable too. and ugh The Couch Scene is really one of the bits i cherish the most for a lot of reasons and one of them is of course that both of them are having this moment where they’re communicating better via making Weird Noises than they have been with talking (and trying to talk) to anyone all evening!! as a weird-noises-to-communicate person myself i love that a lot for the relatability too

also y e a h @ nervous laughing, jeez, all the time, and his Tics And Fidgets (that) Are Persistent (and how he then fidgets with his layer and trips over his words) like wow *nato voice* ayep yep yep…..the way he’s all flinchy and draws in when ppl move close suddenly, yeah, that too……

honestly it’s so great seeing yourself in characters!!! especially for Weird stuff!!! cuz usually it’s like….you might not realize how much of yourself you DON’T usually see in other characters until suddenly you get one who’s really relatable in ways and acts / behaves like you in certain ways and it’s like wow!!!!!!!!!! me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then talking about it is like heh heh plus now i can understand things about MYSELF better……and it’s always extra fantastic when it’s presented as something real and sympathetic vs just a throwaway joke from a Weird Side Character and when it’s given depth and focus

ugh it’s just yes looove to relate and see yourself in a character!!!!! a lot of my Strong Faves are in that category one way or another lol

[tootyfrootycasbooty]

Hey, do u have any experience with anti-ds, particularly sertraline? my doc wants to put me on them but I'm nervous

oooof oh boy yes, i have been off meds since the end of 2017 (fucking wild tbh who’ve thought) but i took a variety of anti-ds and antipsychotics for about 3 years. lots to say but dont be scared!

sertraline was the first i tried bc if ur over 18 it’s usually is the first one doctors offer, i didn’t react well to it & got worse, but i did as they asked and stuck out the first month bc that’s how long it takes for the medication to stabilise. the first two weeks of a new medication are usually very tough, you can feel worse mentally and there are bunch of physical side effects that aren’t fun, but with time these usually start to balance out. if they don’t, it’s time to try another med! everyone reacts differently to each anti-d and has very different experiences, & finding the med that works for you is trial + error, some people get lucky and some people have a more lengthy process. 

for ages i was on about 5 dif medications a day, fried up to my eyeballs and not getting better with all these horrible side effects, until i switched to prozac/fluoxetine and i just...idk...it didn’t fix me but my ability to cope w life got noticeably better, it didn’t give me any crazy side effects like my previous med venlafaxine did. it’s hard to look back on it bc even with fluoxetine, everything was shit until it just wasn’t?? for me, a big part was a change in situation in combo w the meds, i was never going to get better from meds alone but moving back out of my mum’s house in combo with a good medication was essential, and i had tried a few different therapists and finally found the right one after i moved. 

so don’t be discouraged by things not changing or improving straight away, esp if your mental health issues are v severe...these things take time which is probably not what u wanna hear but im just trying to be real w u....the road to recovery is hard work and medication can kind of just feel like shooting ur shot blindly into the dark hoping something will stick. it’s ok to be nervous, u dont have to do anything ur not ready for, or that u feel hasn’t been explained adequately to you. the difference between me n my mother is that i neurotically google every single medication i’ve ever been prescribed & try to find out everything abt them, even the ones i didn’t take, & it was almost a symptom of my depression that i would spend hours trawling online forums abt antidepressants and ppl’s experiences. it’s not always the best thing bc a list of possible but rare bad side effects can be scary, but i felt well informed and it helped, whereas my mum just gets prescribed medication and hardly ever knows what she’s taking, doesnt know what type of drug it is or how it’s supposed to work or what it interacts with....dont be like that.....it can be dangerous and i find it helps to feel like i have an iota of control, or at least, my trust in the dr becomes more informed.

ok sertraline side effects! it says all this in the box and online but! sertraline, like all SSRIs, can make you feel numb or flat, you may lose your appetite esp in the first week i remember feeling nauseous a lot, my alcohol tolerance turned to dust lmao i would advise not drinking the first two weeks or month if you can, bc i remember having one can of cider soon after i start sertraline and i was hammered. ur allowed to drink on anti-ds but u know just, know your limits and use moderation. the first week or two i was grinding my teeth quite a bit, very dry mouth, and slept a looooot. in general my biggest qualm with anti-ds was that they made me oversleep so much, but this doesn’t happen to everyone & varies between meds. i could Not have an orgasm on sertaline, if that matters to you, i dont rmbr if my entire sex drive was gone, but i remember wanking for like an hour and half and getting nowhere. but! i havent had the same issues on all meds so this is person dependant, and there are add-on meds you can ask about if this is a deal breaker for you! i wont sugar coat it ok the side effects are gnarly but they do improve with time and if they dont and are unbearable, you are always within your rights to switch medication and try something else, you are meant to be getting better not punishing yourself, so just be open and honest w your doc. i hope i never have to be on meds again, but i also know i would never be in the place i am now without having been on them. im not perfect, i still have a lot of troubles and low points and being on meds was hard, but they kept me alive, even when they numbed me and i hated it, they kept me from making rash, life ending decisions. i am a semi stable, mostly functional person these days, esp pre-quarantine lol, and i wouldn’t have been able to get there without powering thru anti-ds!

good luck im sorry this was long and i hope i didnt scare u, i just know i wish doctors would have been more honest w me and i was very alone when i started meds. i hope things improve for you and ur welcome to msg me any time xxx