#and I'm stubborn I guess

[ghostjelliess]

Over-accountability of ma-self:

I've been struggling lately with this. I want to follow more accounts, so I can interact even though I'm anxious about it. But to follow an account, I have to make sure I relate—that I vet everyone by my morals OR by the necessary challenge to them (I don't like the echo-chamber approach).

I'm running into a few problems:

1. I don't know how to find people anymore.

Hashtags don't work like they used to, it's hard to find the right communities because Tumblr is pushing the follow tags, and mass-following seems weird. I have too many niches/interests, maybe?

2. I did this all once.

I used to run a popular-ish account (24k+), we archived it in 2019. I'm hesitant to say traumatized, lest my actual traumas get jealous and raise their ugly heads to compete, but back then it became... not fun.

3. I don't know if this is fun or not.

Is this what is fun on the Internet now? It just feels lonely. Is that the silence of the void between stars talking or just me...?

Anyway, I'm just going to follow a bunch of blogs and see what happens now. I'm supposed to be practicing participation instead of just lurking, but so far I've just been practicing the practicing part (as in, I open the apps to practice participation and connection and interaction, and then I get overwhelmed and anxious and bored and just lurk, and then leave having practiced exactly 0 things).

Here goes, I guess.....

[tea-cat-arts]

I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji

[bungouchronicles]

I like my ships doomed by the narrative

[maryymaruu]

Okay I'm going to need to find the tumblr account of the author of Ragequit logs fanfic because what the hell kind of dark magic did they use- I developed a new laughter, that specifically manifests ONLY when I'm reading the fanfic-???! 😂

I don't snort when I laugh-!! I NEVER DID! BUT without fail, every time I read the fanfic I laugh and chuckle and giggle and SNORT like a big ahh dork- 😂😂💦💦

For real, it's so nicely written, i can't stop smiling and snort-laughing, oh my gawd. It's so good to see all four of these dorks being so... okay! Not in pain! Not in anguish! They're okay and they're in contact!! Oh the sweet honey for my heart.

I love the personalities the four of them display in this fanfic, they're very enjoyable. Pebbles is really cute, harsh in the tongue but soft at the heart- Moon is a lot more pro-active here and we get to see how she indeed is overprotective of her little brother. Suns is so adorable and shy!! And oh boi, NSH my favorite- the "obnoxious, ALWAYS happy" friend- I feel like there is a big hurt he's keeping secret from everyone and gosh do I hope Pebbles gets to pry it out of him. Go heal each other, you fools (affectionately)

[theirloveisgross]

HELLO. I am here, with a soccer aid ticket in hand and just about the happiest I've been in a while.

✨MANIFESTING FUCKING WORKS, EVERYBODY!!!✨

[little-one-eyed-monsters]

I was so scandalized by the sheer LENGTH of My Stubborn's episode 4 NC scene that I actually shouted "Jun, where are your parents?!" at my TV.

This show is so dirty it's turned me into a 50's stay-at-home mom.

[illmoraineakoi]

I wanted to double-check when the TCO/TDL/Mitsi plushes were gonna start being sent out and-

Victim is still available to buy???

Why? He's been apart of two plush drops now. I thought his time was gonna end when TCO/TDL/Mitsi's did. But he's still there? You can still buy him?

He doesn't have a timer on his page, but he's still labeled limited edition. I'm confused. I can't find anywhere where Yootooz or Alan said for how long he'd be available. Is he gonna be there for the entire rest of Season 3????

The universe is testing me. I do not need another Victim plush. But a large part of me is tempted to buy four more, bc, yknow, clones.

[post-mortem-lullabies]

@muses-inn asked: [💽]  There is only so much a SecUnit inside its transporter box can do when the company transporter's system suddenly suffers a critical failure during its landing maneuvers. The ship just came down like a meteorite instead. It is nothing close of a wonder that Murderbot didn't just perish like its unfortunate clients and their other equipment. Maybe it is thanks to having been inside its sturdy transport box. Its right leg hurts. Well, there are many other parts that hurt too, and it is leaking blood and fluids out of several places. Not good. It returns its full, slightly buzzing attention back to the human who witnessed the ship's crash, apparently. But is that horrified look on her face because of this situation or because of being in front of a SecUnit? It can't tell. Human expressions are a pain to read. - imminent critical failure - Uh Oh. Murderbot hates the prospect of being this vulnerable, confused and distressed right now. The fact that a part of its helmet is broken and half of its face is revealed doesn't help. At all. But it also struggles to maintain itself and to prevent a critical failure from happening. Shelter and recovery sounds better to it right now than having a critical failure out here. No, actually the prospect of both is terrifying, but... "I... need a place to recover." (For Emil's general Sci-Fi AU? I hope it works if I bring Murderbot just to her. I had to take a bit of a swing on this so it got a little lengthy ^^")

Where did bot-human constructs recover? A Med Bay? A workshop? Emil could probably tinker on it and figure its electronics out, but the organics would have died before she was even halfway done.

Med Bay it was then, and hoping for the best.

Sitting in a corner, while Caramel's Med Systems worked on the construct firmly strapped to the operating table - its armour taken off and discarded in another corner - Emil frowned more and more at the visuals from her scouting drones zipping all over the crash site.

She didn't know all that much about security constructs, but weren't they on a 'leash' so to speak? Unable to move outside of some pre-programmed range from their clients?

Emil had moved Caramel closer to the crash site to make sure it wouldn't get its systems fried while she tried to save it, but all the humans her drones could locate were dead.

Weren't they supposed to fry when their contractors died too? Was Emil's info wrong? Was there some survivor still buried in the rubble?

B-0R was there too - her quadruped, dog-shaped, but horse-sized bot with far more sensors than Emil's scouting drones - but he couldn't locate anyone alive either while going through the ship logs to find out what had happened.

How peculiar.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," she announced, when eventually the Med System picked on signs of it restarting. She sent one of her drones to hover over it, sending a view of its face, while she still sat sideways on the chair, legs dangling over the armrest with a pack of potato chips on her lap and the headset with a yellow eye shield covering half of her face.

"We have misery and suffering, but the food and entertainment aren't half as bad. Now-" she crunched a potato chip, sending the Med Bay a ping to further strengthen its firewalls and ready a drill to possibly staple it in place- "why did the ship crash?"

For all Emil knew, it could be this very construct's doing.

[youremyonlyhope]

I took this quiz. And some episodes were easy. Some made me just plain mad (Anti-Mavity Motorbike. No. I hate this stupid running joke). Some made me mad because I understood IMMEDIATELY what they meant (Awkward Bed Sharing, Paving Slab, Smacked Bottom) and it annoyed me that it made sense. And some made me mad because I knew the exact episode but could not remember the actual title for the LIFE of me (PE Teacher, Floating Fingers). And others made me want to sob (Cup-A-Soup, Solid Right Hook) because I loved the description choice so much.

Anyway. I need there to stop being so many "the [Blank] of the Doctor" episode titles. I can't keep track of them. At a certain point if I knew it was an 'of the Doctor' episode I just skipped it.

[itsanidiom]

every time a character card pops up and let's me know that everyone working in this office is in their 20s makes me wanna cry......

[incandescentflower]

ugh they better have Sorn stop being a total ass soon or I'm gonna be team Jom all the way

[thequeenofsastiel]

I really hope there's a good explanation for why Khanin isn't being told who exactly Charan is and why he's staying with them, and that it's not just contrived and pointless drama.

[monstermoviedean]

girl who made a career out of being angry about things that happened ages ago: man why am i so angry about things that happened ages ago

[arttsuka]

hey ho I just noticed that amongst many of your posts you have some pretty nasty things to say about yourself! As a concerned follower I am here to tell you that does you no good whatsoever, and have expierenced where it can lead you to! (Even when said in jest)

As an outside observer I have determined that exactly 0 of your negative statements are true, so don't believe the lies you tell yourself! Change statements like "my art sucks" to "my art is pretty neat!" (Because it is) "....just kill me" to ".... just give me shrimp" (or fav food/object) "I feel awful and lonely" to " I see the sun rise and its beautiful, I feel nice." And "I have more friends than i realise" ( notice something beautiful or do things you like and appreciate them, you'll start to feel better I promise!

Take a moment to slow down and just breathe and observe all the good things around you (go outside if you have to)

Heres a book that talks about changing your inner monologue for the better, "What to say when you talk to yourself" by Shad Helmstetter its definitely worth a read

I love you and sending a crushing bear hug to you! 🫂🫂💙💙💙

Unfortunately yes I have many bad things to say about myself (I am my biggest hater).

I've been around some pretty toxic people in the past (and present, most of them are my relatives, yikes) and I guess it's just easier to say negative things about me rather than hear them say things (behind my back).

I try to do better but when you don't fit into society the way other people do, it's kinda disheartening, makes me wanna give up.

Sometimes I wish I was like everyone else honestly, or have some confidence.

I'll definitely try to check out that book, thanks for the recommendation :)

Many hugs to you too anon 🫂🫂

[moe-broey]

Some. Sort of spectrum. From most likely to least likely.

And by kitten-pile I mean This

I'll put a transcript under cut for easier reading! 🫡

How Likely Are They to Kitten Pile?

__

Mirabilis: "are you tired..? do you need a break...? ohh we could take one together..."

If she likes/trusts you even a little, she wants to cuddle about it!!!

-

Sharena and Peony: "Okay! 💖 Yay! 💖"

Shari: The only thing stopping her is social conventions -- making her MORE likely to jump at the opportunity!

Peony: Learning social awareness as she goes, and is surprisingly good at it?

-

Triandra: "Aren't we a bit old for that...? But... even so..."

Embarrassed, conflicted, but feels strangely nostalgic at the notion...

-

Plumeria: "I'm not so petal-soft that I'd resort to such INDECENCY, I mean even if your intentions are Pure USE YOUR HEADS YOU FOOLS!! Girl, the IMPLICATIONS!!!"

Desperately wants to join the kitten-pile, but her Issues and Pride gets in the way.

-

Moe: "aw, so cutes!"

Generally touch adverse, extremely picky even with the people it likes/loves -- everything is entirely on its terms.

[aauroralightss]

happy wolfwood wednesday nicholas d wolfwood is a LOSER and i don't mean stampede wolfwood (although he is too with his tech bro ass big sunglasses and coat) but i mean trimax wolfwood. literally everything he does is so fucking funny to me. the scene where he tells vash to shoot him? did he honest to god think "oh yeah vash is gonna shoot me this will be great" ????????? like what did he truly expect to happen. and he monologues through the whole fight against grey the ninelives. he makes me sick why is he so EXTRA