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#and I've made wonderful connections
aq2003 · 7 months
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i feel murderous intent within my bones whenever i see someone calling ten whiny for his "i could do so much more" speech . do not ever talk about him ever again. EVER again. i am in your walls
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spaceratprodigy · 2 months
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🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉
Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤
I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer 💖💕
Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links
#I was gonna type out more but I decided I didn't want to be too sappy and emotional on main#so much has happened in these past 10 years#I can't believe I made it this far I really did not think I was going to have a future#but I did and I do#I have the most wonderful partner who I connect with in a way I never thought was possible#I am capable of being loved I am capable of loving in return#I learned how to love myself and be unapologetically myself for myself#I lost a lot of people and some very much for the better#I've become so so much happier my god I never thought I'd ever know what this felt like#I'm still angry and numb and having to battle depression but I've grown I've finally become someone worth being proud of#I'm no longer letting that anger and grief and everything that comes with it take over#I can't believe I've actually become gentler and kinder#I can't believe I've actually made genuine friends with people who are nice and caring and supportive#and are actually happy to see me and not trying to take advantage of me at every opportunity I'm finally seen as a person#I can't believe I'm finally in a safe environment I don't have to be terrified anymore I'm not going to be hurt anymore#I can't believe how far I've come creatively bc of how much bf has supported my every passion wholeheartedly#he is the reason I have a drawing tablet he is the one who encourages me and cheers on everything I do#god I still don't know how I could ever in my life thank you enough for every goddamn wonderful thing you do for me#you have changed everything for the better none of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you#it's always been you#I fucking love you#more than anything in this universe and the next#forever and always#my art#glad I listened to my first tag lmao
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ecoamerica · 23 days
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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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kaurwreck · 2 months
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fav chuuya trivia: he’s a lightweight and a wine collector. combine it with the fact that poisons a weakness for him, ability wise, and too much alcohol is in fact poison. he chooses that often.
bonus: combine that with the fact that dazai’s coming of age came with going to a bar, and i don’t know what that means
anon cause shy
Untitled I. My dear, even though you treat me kindly, I'm stubborn. After we parted last night, I went drinking and berated some weakling. This morning, Waking up, I remember your kindness And sadly reflect on my vile behavior. And now, I, a total fraud, will here confess that, without shame, Stripped of all dignity, and therefore lacking honesty— I was urged on by my own illusions, raving mad. [...] III. In this world we sadly live in like this, your heart— Don't let it grow stubborn my dear Because I hope for intimacy with you Your heart— don't let it grow stubborn my dear.
[Excerpted from Poems of the Goat, written by Chuuya Nakahara, translated by Ry Beville]
#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#bungo stray dogs#japanese poetry#thank you for sharing!!#no need to explain anon to me#you are entitled to your mysteries and boundaries and bashfulness#i have anon on because i feel comfy and fine with people engaging however feels most comfortable to them#also i'm going to avoid commenting on what y'all share because i'm already sharing in return by offering up chuuya poetry that strikes me#and because i don't want anyone to think that a lack of a more specific response isn't because i didn't go !!!!! at what they shared#(this exercise is designed so I can also work throughout the day while getting chuuya enrichment)#BUT#alcohol IS poison and that's something I've thought about a lot in my framing of it for myself and generally#but I've never connected it with chuuya's vulnerability to poison and how it is such an equalizer#and how when shirase wanted to ground him and render him someone shirase felt he could face both honestly and to fight he poisoned him#i wonder if alcohol makes chuuya feel a teeny bit more visceral and real and like a person in a body#rather than an experiment or a leader or an act of violence or the salve to someone's loneliness or the vessel of a storm#or someone who wants terribly to lead and protect but is so unsure of himself because of how much he understands the gravity of that role#which isn't to say i think he doesn't want to be a leader and doesn't want to be an act of violence or a salve or a liberated ex-experiment#all of these things and the choices he's made for and because of and despite these things are inextricable from who he is#but every so often#it's nice just to be flesh and electricity
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softichill · 5 months
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I love object show worldbuilding. You make one little gag for one little guy and suddenly you have interplanetary travel and contemplation of life & what makes us people
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licorishh · 12 days
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Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh
I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that
#call of duty#modern warfare 3 2011#i just. wow. wow wow wow wow wow#i've played these three games so many times over the last several years and i just.#they literally. never get old.#loose ends and blood brothers will never not make me cry and endgame and dust to dust will never not make me smile so hard#ending it with price smoking the cigar like he did in the first mission in the first game wHEN HE FIRST MET SOAP JUST UGHHHHHH.#i know y'all don't care but i don't care that y'all don't care i could literally yap about this until i shrivel up and die#i have never ever ever in my LIFE seen poetic justice played out so beautifully like it is at the very end#JUST. WOW. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. WOW WOW. WOW#they do not frickin make games like that anymore DADGUM#i also forgot how frickin sad down the rabbit hole is?? like jeez louise they didn't have much screen time but gosh#i also have never in my life heard such gut-wrenching anguish from a grown man in my life like price in that one scene#I KNOW Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT MAN MAKES ME FULL ON S O B IN THAT PART HE HAD NO BUSINESS#anyway i'll keep cutely living in denial and pretending literally any of the main characters besides price and nikolai are fine <3#foley and dunn and their team seemed just fine at the end of modern warfare 2 so i will accept that small mercy#at this point these games have taken everything else i love away from me so#y'all probably think i'm wild for how insane i get over these games but the nostalgia bit is a big part of it as well#like they're honestly in my opinion genuinely the greatest video games of all time#but the fact that i have that connection with my dad makes it so special#crazy cause he said he also cried in blood brothers and my dad is 54 and i have seen him cry one (1) other time in my entire life#heck infinity ward but also bless them i hope the devs live long beautiful wonderful prosperous delightful exciting fulfilling lives#Lord bless them and their entire bloodline for the contributions they have made to humanity not even joking#AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING SOUNDTRACKS DO NOT GO THERE OAUSYDJAKAKDN#MW2 AND MW3 CREDITS. EXTRACTION POINT. COUP DE GRACE. RETREAT AND REVEILLE. CONTINGENCY. PARIS SIEGE. PRAGUE HOSTILITIES. RUSSIAN WARFARE.#UGHHHHHHHGHHHH everything about these games is so unbelievably perfect and immaculate#i have got to get over my art block NOWWWWWWWWWW#makarov is also the best villain i've ever seen idc bro he's frickin awesome#i mean obviously he's horrible and a disgustingly evil human being but as a character he's stupidly well-written
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officialfurbyposts · 8 months
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Posted on the 4th of August, 2015 by the official Furby VK group
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Ты-дыщ, а вот и я как всегда с новыми затеями и творческими идеями. Как ты думаешь, какими будут Фёрби БУМ будущего? Нарисуй картинку «Фёрби БУМ через 100 лет» и выложи ее в комментариях! Кто знает, может именно твои идеи станут явью.
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aldcaldos · 9 months
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐄 𝐕𝐑𝐘𝐄𝐒  + family tree
one of the most notable and powerful families in the city of baldur’s gate, the house of de vryes, an unbroken line of warlocks, has ascended over nearly four hundred years like no other in the city’s history thanks to a long-held and generationally renewed infernal pact with a demonic being of immense power.
ayana. the pact maker. having found herself carrying a child, ayana went to the father to tell him, only to be accused of dark magic and manipulated seduction so that the man might save face in the eyes of his family and his young wife. more than that, he accused her of cavorting with demons, claiming that in laying with him she had used him as a proxy so she might carry a demon spawn. the village in which ayana had lived was overly superstitious, and took little convincing to spark their hysteria into violence. they beat her, before dragging her to the town center and tying her to a post to be burned, never listening to the way the girl protested her innocence. as the torch was brought forth, suddenly the flames sparked, billowing backwards and alighting both people and buildings alike. out of the flames there came a man, or the likeness of a man. the flames that had begun to creep up around ayana were extinguished, and with a wave of his hand her wounds were healed. the man, taltos as he called himself, charmed the girl and offered her a new life amidst the ashes of her old one. “i have nothing to give you,” she confessed. “not yet. but i have everything to give you. in this we are a perfect match.” ayana asked taltos for power. for wealth and beauty and security for her children and her children’s children. three drops of blood from either party were placed in a locket, which taltos clasped about her neck, and the first pact was sealed.
belesa. the cunning courtesan. ayana never got to see the true fruits of her deal with the devil, but her daughter did. her mother having died when she was still quite young, belesa was raised in a brothel, taking on the profession of the house once she was of age, and what a career she made. with taltos ever in her ear, training her in all arts of seduction and manipulation, belesa became a premiere courtesan. when the young woman reached twenty three, taltos explained to her the deal her mother had made, and the reason he’d always been so adamant that she never part with the locket she wore. he gave her the choice to make the same deal, and she agreed. her talents as a courtesan eventually led her to seduce a retired general by the name of dagan mormont. so in love was he that upon a day he fell to one knee and begged the woman to leave her life behind and marry him, professing he cared not for her past if she would only pledge to him her future. and she did. the two eventually had a child, a girl named phoibe. but when their daughter was hardly a year old, dagan fell ill. before she was two, he died. belesa wasted no time, however. when her husband’s health began to fail, she very quickly noticed the way one of his acquaintances, a noble, cadmus de vryes, was suddenly ever at her side, offering condolences and comfort. mere weeks after dagan’s death, the two were engaged, and upon the condition that her daughter be provided for and her future secured, they were married. cadmus legally adopted phoibe, giving her his name and bringing her into his house. within a year, the two had a son of their own, janus. sadly, cadmus perished on a business trip twelve years into their marriage, leaving belesa the independent lady of the house, the first de vryes matriarch.
phoibe. the girl in the garden. adopted by cadmus de vryes when she was no more than an infant, phoibe became the second heir to bear the de vryes name, though she could claim no de vryes blood. despite this, life was easy for phoibe. her steps were light and her laughter gentle. with a mother who doted upon her and a demon at her beck and call, rarely did she want for anything. this trend continued when she met a man, the second son of another noble family named leander amnell, whilst he wandered the garden of her family home where she’d been reading. he was to her the prince in her story books, perfect and pretty and shining. as struck by her as she had been of him, the two were fascinated by each other, but when leander made to speak with the pretty girl he’d discovered, she fled from him, hoping he’d give chase. chase he did, but phoibe knew well the secrets of the garden, and she escaped him. the pair met again that night at dinner, and finally were formally introduced. within days, and following a request to her mother, they were betrothed. meanwhile her younger brother, janus, also found himself engaged to a young woman named chadara elfarren, the daughter of a family well-known for their wine trading, marking two political victories for the de vryes family which would further their ascent amongst the higher society of baldur’s gate. the marriage between phoibe and leander was a happy one, practically a fairytale. like her brother and his wife, phoibe had two children, and like her own mother, she first had a daughter, oriana, and little more than a year later a son, ambrose.  
oriana. the delight of baldur’s gate. even more than her mother before her, oriana was adored by all those who looked upon her from a young age. no one would ever speak an ill word against her. talented in poetry, music, dancing, riding, and the arcane arts, and never putting neither foot nor finger out of place or out of order, she was a compliment and a treasure to her family. by the time she was sixteen she had been socially dubbed ‘the delight of baldur’s gate’, with nobles, knights, scholars and artisans alike all eventually coming to vie for her hand. the only person seeming to hold against her any ill will was her own brother, ambrose, though the source of his contention and resentment was always a point of whispered rumour. perhaps it was because the man always thought himself cleverer and more ambitious by half than his sister, and believed he would have made a more competent and effective heir to both the family’s fortune, and to taltos, sentiments that were only spurred on by his later wife, calpernia exeltis, who herself resented that she was not the official lady of the house. when oriana did finally choose a husband and marry, it was to a knight named gideon de nogaret. the two would, as with the previous two generations, go on to have two children, this time twins, numerius and aurelia.
numerius and aurelia. the twins. the only time taltos has ever chosen two heirs. always bound together, rarely seen apart, it came as hardly a surprise when both of the twins claimed to see taltos just after their seventh birthday. after, it was common occurrence to find them huddled together in some quiet room, listening to their infernal tutor, or whispering to each other as though they had a secret language. as they grew older, whispers in quiet corners became secret touches in darkened rooms. in an effort to stem the tide of their debauchery, oriana and gideon married their only daughter to daguenet grimaud, the son of a wealthy merchant family known for their penchant for falconry. still, the pair would not be separated. when aurelia gave birth to her first child, a son named castus, no one dared question who had fathered the boy, though everyone, including aurelia’s own husband, suspected they did not need to. for a time it seemed as though the twins would distance themselves as aurelia focused on motherhood, though this did not last long before the two began to sneak away together again. “find the boy a pretty wife and perhaps he will finally put an end to this degeneracy.” numerius was quickly wed to cornelia eomane, the daughter of a family which owned successful oil and perfume factories in the city. still yet, the twins continued. they could not be stopped and what could be done? they were the heirs to the powers that held the family together. to lose them would be to lose him. worse still, they knew it. in time aurelia had two more children, antha, and deirdre. with his own wife, numerius had a single child, a daughter called isadora, whom, while it was ever clear that he loved her dearly, was hardly his favorite.
antha and deirdre. the deserter and the second choice. antha was a quiet girl all her life. studious, clever, precocious and talented. growing up, awareness of her parentage weighed on her more heavily than it did her siblings, but she never gave any signs of vitriol or disloyalty to her family. not until that night. three days before her binding ceremony, antha disappeared from the de vryes family home, the locket of her birthright left laying on her bed. it was a little over a week before she was found, in a temple to pelor, where she had pledged herself and vowed to remain for the rest of her days. “i want to live in the light, away from the darkness and temptation of our family,” she said to her cousin and half-sister isadora, recently married to a minor noble named tristan hedare, when she came to visit. her abandonment was unprecedented, and taltos was hardly pleased with the development. still, in the loss of one heir, he chose another, the youngest of aurelia’s children, deirdre. as she was a spare heir, she was the spare again in her betrothal to the man who had once been promised to her sister, pelleas de lauzon, the son of a family also known for their arcane abilities. it was clear she was not who either had wanted, as pelleas had long obsessed over her sister, whilst deirdre had done the same over him. together she and her husband bore a single child, a daughter they called nimueh. having moved away from the city, isadora eventually had a child of her own, another girl, linnea.
nimueh. his favorite. it is said that taltos did not wait until nimueh had passed seven years before he came to her. instead, yet reeling and still furious from the loss of his previous intended heir and more than determined not to repeat the same unfortunate mishap, he was ever at nimueh’s side from birth, speaking to her, guiding her, molding her into a warlock of formidable power, especially at such a young age. perhaps that is why the girl grew into a woman who, though more clever and cunning than any who had come before her, had a certain touch of madness, always whispering of her dreams and of destiny, visions in her eyes as much as was the waking world. perhaps it was that madness that led her to her own uncle’s bedchambers one night. “my dreams demand it,” she would say. though, it cannot be truthfully said that castus protested overmuch. together the two had five children, their eldest, agravaine, then twins of their own, cyprien and melitta who died young and furthered her mother’s unstable mind (”i was promised a daughter. i am meant to have a daughter. how could she be taken from me?”). then came bastian, and finally their youngest, the little girl nimueh had so longed for, ovidia. nimueh never married, which did nothing but fan the flames of widespread rumor as to the identity of her children’s father.
cyprien. the seducer. as shrewd as his mother, cyprien recognized early that her never marrying put their family in a precarious position, with potential to lose some of the footing they had gained amongst the nobility of baldur’s gate. so, after a good few years of honing his talents, so to speak, and with taltos as his guide, the young man set out to capture the heart of the beautiful daughter of one of the most powerful families in the city, isla caldwell, and capture her he did. he would charm the girl until she lay with him, and then continued to do so until he could be certain that she carried his child. upon such discovery, he wasted no time before presenting himself to isla’s parents and demanding that they be wed. the only options then were to either grant the imperious boy her hand, or risk the destruction of her reputation once she began to show. the pair were married quickly, though with as much ceremony as befitted the station of cyprien’s bride. despite the schemed nature of its origins, the marriage was not without affection as cyprien did seem to truly love his young wife, and once wed quickly put away much of his more rakish ways. however there were some who resented the match, cyprien’s elder brother among them, as agravaine himself had oft desired his brother’s wife, though to no avail. less than five months into their marriage, the couple welcomed their first child, a son named atlas, and after three and a half more years, a daughter was born, whom they called amara.
amara. she who loved two. while both she and her elder brother were outwardly the perfect picture of dignified nobility, amara had a streak of wild and unbridled curiosity in her that her brother atlas lacked. prone to sneaking away from her family’s guard whenever the urge struck her, the young woman at times found herself wandering the lower city. it is there she developed a certain fascination for the organized fighting matches that were held in secret in abandoned warehouses near the brampton docks. it was at one of these matches that she discovered a fighter by the name of conall merrilin, a man who seemed fully at home in the violence, even appearing to find joy in it. as he’d caught her eye, she’d caught his, but it was between them a sort of game of cat and mouse. during matches, his eyes would find hers, which were often already glued to him, and she would give him a knowing smile and a tilt of her head, but after the match, she’d disappear before he could reach her. one night he finally caught her, and despite knowing practically nothing about each other, passion burned bright between them following a very brief introduction. after, amara revealed why she’d finally allowed him to catch her. she was engaged, but she’d not been able to help herself. her betrothed was magnus artemel, the son of a noble family from waterdeep who’d made their fortune through moneylending, and he was to arrive to meet his new bride in two days time. this news however, did nothing to deter conall, who found amara again in the upper city after days of searching. it was good fortune that her new husband had a deep love of hunting and would be away from home for days on end at times, as amara could not seem to refuse the figher who’d captured her eye and a piece of her heart. still, she came to love magnus as well. “he is my husband. it is not as though i don’t hold some affection for him.” “then why meet with me?” “because i hold affection for you too.” through the years, magnus never learned of his wife’s lover, or if he did, he said nothing, and the two (three technically) remained happy, even when their children were born. while amara assumes that conall fathered both her son, rylen, and later her daughter, ursula, she could never be quite sure, and magnus treated both as his rightful children, whether he believed them to be or not.
ursula. the melancholy heir. the early years of ursula de vryes were happy ones. though she was quiet, she was untroubled and joyful. well beloved by her parents and thick as thieves with her brother and his good friend fabian vadim, it seemed nought could go wrong. such a statement would sadly not stand the test of time. it began with a letter from a distant relation of the family, and the revelation that the current heads of the de vryes family, the most powerful of their line, were not true descendants of cadmus de vryes, and held none of his blood, making their claim both of the family name and its fortunes and holdings illegitimate. this distant branch of the family had fallen on difficult times due to the gambling debts and poor financial decisions of a previous generation, and having discovered the truth of their lineage, demanded recompense as price for their silence, this coming in the form of a betrothal between ursula and their son, oberon de vryes. ursula was crushed initially, as she’d hoped to live her life with her first love fabian, but to refuse the match would be to ruin her family, so she acquiesced. her new husband however, seemed to care little for her, as his own heart belonged to his mistress, finola donati, and would always be hers. things may have worked out had ursula been then free to be with her own love, but a year into their marriage, fabian was killed after being robbed in an alley one night. the news broke ursula’s heart, and from then on she focused purely on her family and worked to be a good wife to her husband, which despite oberon’s lack of the tender fondness she so desired from him, grew as they welcomed multiple children in the coming years, beginning with their eldest, malachy. their next son, dorian, fell ill when was eleven years of age and did not survive, taking with him another piece of his mother’s heart. after that came two daughters, first yseult, and then their youngest, laeta. her brother rylen fell madly in love with a seamstress named cerys rivers, whom he married little more than a year after meeting. 
yseult. the runaway bride. despite her mother’s pensive and at times downcast nature, yseult was a happy girl and did what she could to lift her mother’s spirits. incredibly stubborn and hard-headed, there was rarely a rule she wouldn’t be willing to break, much to the chagrin of any charged with looking after her, and it was near impossible to get the girl to hold her tongue under any circumstances unless of the utmost importance. her relationship with her father was always tempestuous, as she largely blamed him for her mother’s dejection, but matters were made worse when he arranged a marriage for her and announced it one night at dinner. while her brother and sister were more or less free to marry as they chose, she, as the heir, had a ‘duty’, so he said, and thus such a choice could not be left only in her hands. even after meeting her intended she did not care for him, as her heart had secretly already been stolen away. the night before her wedding, while both her own family and that of her betrothed slept under the roof of the de vryes manor, yseult slipped on her wedding dress, packed her things, and crept down to the front door. on her way, she came upon her mother, who immediately noticed, even beyond the way she was dressed, the bag she carried over her shoulder. ursula said nothing, just embraced her daughter and gave a silent nod. she understood. having said the only goodbye she cared to beyond the note she’d hidden for her sister, yseult ran beyond the gates of her home and into the arms of her barbarian lover, ulric wolfspeer, whom she had originally met when the man had done mercenary work on behalf of her family. in the years that followed, yseult would live happily with her new husband in his home beyond the city, and would in time bear two sons, hilarus and lindon.
hilarus. the outlander turned nobleman. when hilarus was thirteen years old, his father died in battle whilst away from home on a job. after, though his mother gave it her best attempt, yseult found that without her husband she had no place in his world, and with taltos having already chosen hilarus as the next heir, she knew it was time she returned home to baldur’s gate. it was not what most would call a happy reunion especially where the boy's grandfather was concerned. harsh words were traded back and forth as a mother held both her sons behind her and defended her return. “you may bear the name but you married into this family, father. try not to pretend you understand it.” despite the tension they could not turn away the next generation, could not cast out the new source of their power. still, adjusting to such a new and different life was difficult for hilarus and though he was only ten at the time, it appeared harder on his younger brother lindon. the burden was greatly lifted when hilarus found a friend in a local boy his own age, auctus lyle, and from then on the two were nearly inseparable. what was the kinship between boys eventually turned to love between men. nevertheless, as heir to his family, hilarus had a certain duty, and that duty came in the form of thessela jannath, the daughter of a mine-owning family related to a former grand duchess. the marriage was at the start a cold one, but in time the walls between the two were pulled down stone by stone, surprisingly at auctus’s own behest. as the years passed, affection blossomed not only between a husband and his wife, but between thessela and auctus as well, and together the three found true happiness. thessela only ever had one child, a daughter named alais. lindon was ever a barbarian in the city, remaining by his brother’s side as the sword that guarded his family.
alais. the harshest of all the heirs. alais’s birth was not a gentle one. her entrance into this world was bloody and difficult and violent, and left her mother unable to bear any more children. while her father had left the life of a barbarian behind as a young boy, there was a level of barbarity in his daughter that few could deny. even as a young girl, alais was steely and unyielding, preferring to keep to herself rather than pass her time with other children her own age, as she found them too silly to bother with. as she grew older, she came to hold a marked dislike of weakness, such that when it came time for her to marry, she was adamant that she would not wed a weak man, no matter his riches or his title. at her suggestion, her father hilarus arranged to host a tournament, wherein the prize for the victor would be the opportunity to wed his daughter, should she accept their hand, and if not, a more monetary reward would be offered. however on the day, alais quickly grew bored of watching contender after contender prance about the field, seeming to care more for putting on a show for onlookers rather than making any true show of strength, and thus her interest quickly dwindled. it was well past mid-day, the sun high in the sky, when a tall, scarred man in heavy armor walked silently onto the field. when the fights began, he threw himself into the fray, seeming hardly to even notice the audience, and where others had pulled their swings, he carried them through, never outright killing his opponents, but coming close more than once. suddenly alais was on the edge of her seat, practically leaning over the railing to watch. when the sun set, they had their victor, and alais was married to owain gallus within a week. despite theirs not initially being a romantic match, the two shared a passion for violence that soon became a violent passion for each other. alais often claimed her husband was the other half of herself, and the love the two held for each other was obvious to all, and frightening to many in its intensity. there was no line one would not cross for the other. over the years alais had three sons, riordan, quintus, and galen.
quintus. the social climber. of alais’s three sons, quintus was the least outwardly similar to either his mother or his father. where his brothers, riordan and galen, favored swords and battle and physical strength like their father, quintus’s might was his intellect. his mind was his weapon, shrewd and calculating, no less sharp than his brothers’ blades and perhaps even more ruthless. of all the generations of the family, both past and present, quintus was the most responsible for not only increasing the power of the de vryes family, but of bringing it all under almost singular control. in addition to arranging a marriage between himself and the daughter of one of the oldest baldurian noble families, calliope tillerturn, quintus, over the years, brought together all relatives bearing the family name, no matter how distant, and installed a de vryes at every level in every sector of management or governance in the city. a de vryes hand in every cookie jar. quintus also furthered the family’s involvement with the city’s merchants, the guilds, the artisans, the moneylenders, became a patron to the arts and even kept regular contracts with mercenary groups, one of which was eventually headed by his own younger brother. whilst the family had, before him, already been powerful and a known name both in and beyond the city, quintus made the de vryes family one of the most powerful and near untouchable in baldur’s gate. with his wife, he would come to have three children, attius, despoina, and caecilia.
caecilia. she who wished to be beautiful all her days. caecilia was the youngest of her parent’s children, and the perfect daughter to a noble house, straight-backed and proper in everything she did. her one main flaw perhaps was a touch of vanity, as upon her fifteenth birthday, when taltos asked what she wished for, she stared into the mirror in her bedroom and told him “i wish always to be beautiful, to be perfect.” despite most thinking she was, caecilia’s image of perfection was always her elder sister, for whom she held a level of affection she never dared speak of aloud. it wouldn’t have been proper, and there were few things more important to caecilia than propriety. less than a year after her binding ceremony, she’d secretly wish she’d said more, said something, when despoina came to her one night, and told her she was leaving. she could no longer remain in the family home and pretend she agreed with what they were all doing with taltos, as she believed the family had outgrown any need of him and their pact, or indeed of any pact, especially one with a demonic being none of them had ever truly understood. in one night, she disappeared and never returned, taking a part of caecilia’s heart with her that she’d never get back. eventually she would wed a somewhat distant cousin in decimus de vryes, a man who favored propriety and perfection nearly to the extent that she did. while they may never have found true passion with each other, they did have respect, which both would argue was far more important. they would have one child, a daughter they named helaena. the same was true of caecilia’s older and only brother, attius, who married the daughter of a waterdhavian family famed for their jewelry, nynaeve massalan, and together they had a child of their own, iphigenia.
helaena. the one who died young. much like her ancestor phoibe de vryes, helaena was a sweet girl, quieter than some, perhaps even shy, but never unhappy. as her parent’s only child, no expense was spared in her upbringing. every dress, every doll, every book she desired was hers as quickly as she could voice her desire for it, but it did not leave her spoiled. still, it did leave her unprepared for the first time she was firmly told no. when she was newly twenty, helaena fell in love with the son of a family heavily invested in seafaring and maritime trade, corvus vieri, after meeting him at a grand carnival held yearly by her family. it was love at first sight for both, but corvus was not her father’s choice of match, and her hand had already been promised to another. rather than live a life of unhappiness with a husband she did not love, helaena snuck away one night to meet with corvus, and the two were married in secret, which she revealed to her family the following morning when there was nothing they could do to stop or change it. decimus was furious, and while caecilia disapproved of her daughter’s secrecy and subversion, she did admire her determination. her cousin iphigenia thought the whole affair was “spectacularly scandalous.” in the following weeks there was a held a full and grand public wedding, so that the match might seem more legitimate in the eyes of the aristocracy. their first child was a girl, whom they called licinia, as was their second, but it was in giving birth to ilithiya that helaena would lose her life, passing away shortly after she first held her second daughter to blood loss. corvus himself would die when his youngest was only three years old, off on an expedition, his ship sinking somewhere beyond the trackless sea.
ilithiya. the one whose destiny has been interrupted. after her mother helaena died in childbirth, there was a period of years that the entire de vryes family, immediate and extended, existed in a state of panic. taltos had been bound to helaena, and seemed to have diseappeared with her death. no one saw him, no one heard from him, no one felt him, and all wondered what would become of the family without him. licinia was four at the time, and remembered well the ever-present tension that existed in the family for those years, worsening as she grew older and never saw any sign of him, as much as she’d hoped to. it was only after ilithiya had turned four herself that her grandmother noticed her laughing at nothing and making childish responses to what appeared a one sided conversation with a presence caecilia could not see, that hope was born again in the family. from that moment on, everyone doted on the younger girl, who was officially regarded as taltos’s new chosen upon her seventh birthday, as was tradition. whilst her older sister was, in personality, the spitting image of her grandmother, ilithiya was seemingly an amalgamation of nearly all of the heirs that had come before her, and was the first since nimueh to have had taltos attached to her since her birth. like phoibe and oriana, she was beloved by most all who knew her. like amara she was beautiful and wild with curiosity and a thirst for life and for understanding. she wanted to see and do and feel and experience all she could. when she wondered about love and lust and why people were so moved by it, taltos taught her as he had taught belesa and cyprien before her, and she eventually seduced her tutor and later a guard who worked for her family. like yseult, she never did care for rules or for doing what she was told, and would often sneak away for a ride on her favorite horse, a black cormyrean destrier she called nemetes. unlike those who came before, her relationship with taltos was not only one of a warlock and their patron. all her life he had been there with her, watching her, whispering in her ear of the great destiny which lay ahead of her, a destiny she never understood but accepted wholeheartedly. he was her first and greatest friend, and she'd do anything for him. despite never speaking the words aloud, ilithiya was in love with him, desiring him above all others, desiring to know him and to feel him. whether taltos truly returned her feelings was a question that remained unanswered, though he would always play into and encourage her affections. in this, more than all her ancestors, the evening of her binding ceremony felt to her a sort of wedding, as did the night that followed. still, she knew she would eventually be required to make a real marriage match, and it was whilst travelling to meet a potential husband that disaster struck and the mindflayers attacked. since her abduction, she has not heard from taltos or felt his presence, circumstances that have already begun to fray at the threads of her sanity, only worsened by the sudden weakness of her magic. at present, her only goal is to return to baldur’s gate, to return to him, and hope he does not believe her to have abandoned him. it would also be good to get that damned tadpole removed along the way.
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thenookspace · 11 months
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Girl help I'm having aroace Miguel O'Hara thots
#fuck what if he wanted a daughter and the companionship of other spiders (initially) bc he was desperate for non-sexual and non-romantic#affection/connection???#man so desperate for familial love that he made the spider society AND dimension-hopped#makes me wonder how the dead Miguel had Gabriella#cloning??? assuming the dude was going by the comics backstory and was a geneticist#maybe Miguel in ATSV wasn't a geneticist????? no test tube baby for him I guess#does this stem from my need for more complex ace rep? Probably???????#where's that post with the “I need more passionate aces - aces who get fucking mad”#bc THAT'S HIM OFFICER#Miguel O'Hara the angriest aro ace in the business#the thots are thinking#because y'all KNOW he wouldn't have trouble making a baby the conventional way I've seen those fanarts the PTA mums would be all over that#even his fucking AI was falling in love with him in the comics#so why the fuck did he need to hop dimensions to have a family?????#mmmmmmm sex and romance repulsed motherfucker coding detected#this is in no way a jab at anyone else's hornyness for him tho#character.ai away my dudes#honestly the art and writing coming out bc of sheer thirst for this man is incredible to me#I just want an ace character I could go to anger management class with#bc I'm over here existing in a perpetual state of annoyed at the only ace rep being robots/aliens/emotionless#bc all that is the fucking coolest and all but eeeeeeeh#gimme an ace who could foreground familial relationships and friendships and show me how devastating they are when broken#rather than act like passion and love and emotions are unavailable to people without romance and sex#gimme an ace character who is emotional and worldly and irreparably fucked up#gimme ace Miguel O Hara#ATSV#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderverse spoilers#atsv spoilers#atsv miguel
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airenyah · 1 year
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uhhhhh so.......
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ร้านพันดาว [ráan pan daao] (thousand stars shop)
you know, as in
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นิทานพันดาว [ní-taan pan daao] (a tale of thousand stars)
?????????
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lynxalon · 1 year
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Love; Disconnection and Connection
I am a matryoshka doll
Inverse
Within me I hold
My mother
My grandmother
My great grandmother
And her mother
And her grandmother
But I am not my mother's
Daughter
Does that line end with me
I remember
Going to my grandparents house
And taking those matryoshka dolls
Apart
It felt like love
To take someone apart
Want to see all of them
It's all the matryoshka doll knows
What comes before them and
What comes after
Do I hope for that kind of love
Or do I hope
To be held so tightly
Crushed and put together over
And over
Again
What love do I want
Need
Deserve?
What love will finally (finally!) fill me
I know love because
I hold it within me
So why
Why am I still
...
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monty-glasses-roxy · 6 months
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Had a dream about a magic school AU. Like... Literally my school but with magic and with Roxy as a protag because Blorbo. She was the only one in the school without magic so every magic lesson, she'd literally just take a nap on the desk. What else is she gonna do?
But also I dreamed how she was compensating for not having magic. She was mixing chemicals into explosives to win fights and like... Yeah it's kinda hard to argue against the dog with Potion of Kaboom™️
However, because it was a dream, my brain combined the Glams with the cast of Ni No Kuni 2 and got very confused when I woke up because the Kuni 2 cast actually fit a magic environment but FNaF guys do not lmao
There was also a bit where Roxy not having magic means naturally, she doesn't rely on it to solve problems. So while everyone was given the task of making a candle go out without blowing on it, she just. Stared in absolute bafflement as everyone around her immediately dove to figuring out spells that extinguish flames. Instead of just. Water. From the tap. Right next to them.
She decided to freak them out a bit for fun and when the teacher asks for volunteers to come forward to show what they've come up with, she immediately puts her paw up and gets called on. She wets her paw under the tap before anyone has their attention on her, walks up to the candle at the front desk, turns so everyone can see, says all professional "Today, I've learned..." pauses and then... just pinches the flame out. Literally just pinches the wick between the paw pads on her fingers and it goes out immediately. "That you guys are idiots." And walks back to her seat in silence with a smirk.
Naturally, a bunch of kids are yelling that she can't just do that what the fuck?! But she did just do that. It took her half a second to do what's taken all of them a good forty minutes to figure out at least. Teacher asks how she knew that would work and she just "you can't have a flame without oxygen. Obviously." and you get a chorus of "WHAT" and "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!" She's so damn smug about it lmao these people make showing off too easy sometimes.
Like sure, she physically can't pass a mandatory magic exam unless she's able to figure out ways around it, but she can at least fuck around in lessons lmao. She tried skipping them but they started getting on her family with all the typical mandatory attendance shit so she has to go now :/ she just sleeps in them or fucks with people for fun since everyone likes to flaunt their magic on her every day anyway. Eat shit assholes she knows how to put fire out with minimal effort!
I think there was also a bit about her trying to convince teachers that a non-magic sports club would be a good idea?? And failing miserably because they just don't see the value in a magic school with non-magic sports. Thinking now, she could probably make her own club after school but probably wouldn't get that much traction with it... Resenting her family and teachers and every power that be forever because she could be a top student and could be doing amazing in school if she was just in a non-magic focused one. But she's stuck here and it sucks.
I don't know where I'd go with the story but eh it's neat I like it! Definitely different to my normal stuff!
#fnaf security breach#i feel i can't do anything with this without getting accused of inspiration from the worst piece of media ever...#because this site is mostly american and the school from that is literally just the uk's school system... but magic...#all i can see in my head is my buddy restless thinking that fucker made up christmas crackers man#so I'd be very wary touching this one cause i do NOT want to be associated with that bullshit#i never even liked it that much i jusf thought 'hey magic thats neat' and that was it before i Found Out the rest#so like#yeah uhh#new au I'm not sure i CAN do anything with??#without some bright spark making a connection where there isn't one???#uhh... hooray???#I'd love to make it a thing i think it'd be neat even if it would serve OCs better probably#so I'd love to talk about it#but you can see why I'm hesitant to post anymore about it without prompting right?#you guys can see why...?#for most people that aren't from here that series is the first interaction with the british school system they've seen#so a lot of people seem to think it was designed and made by that fucker when it legit wasn't#we have school houses here that's fairly normal... and christmas crackers...#and whatever else cause i don't remember a damn thing I've never seen any of those films the whole way through lmao#but anyway on that note... if you were wondering from that tag...#i was in the blue house in primary school. we were the falcons :)#we won the house points a lot it was great!!#anyway yeah I'm up to talking about this one and developing it more! I just... maybe won't unless someone specifically asks about it#ya know?#ask away if you want to!!! would be happy to fuck around with it!!!#otherwise I'll just. keep it to discord rambles... which is less fun honestly#but hey it works
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ecoamerica · 23 days
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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soupacool · 3 months
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congrats on taking T and experiencing voice changes, that's so exciting!! 🥳🥳✨✨
thank you!!! it's been a period of intense learning of myself and my place in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything
#fredfinch#soupy post#if you will allow me to ramble further in the tags since I haven't really talked about this very much <333#it was something I was really not certain about for a very long time. I kind of needed to start it to understand my feelings about it#and now my feelings are 'yay!' and singing joyfully#(singing is amazing. every day my range changes and I sound more like myself. I feel the vibrations in my chest and it feels like home)#I'm very grateful to the circumstances in my life that have allowed me to make my own decisions about my body and experience#I have a trans healthcare provider and I wish I could give that gift to every trans person seeking gender affirming care#they are so wonderful and have gone above and beyond on my behalf#they let me be unsure. they did not push me one bit they made sure I had all the info and answered every question I had#I asked if I could decide if I wanted it on my own at home and they said absolutely. and I obviously decided to move forward#I don't think T is something that I will be on for the rest of my life but right now it absolutely feels like the right thing#I am getting permanent changes that are gender affirming for me and I understand elements of my gender even better#I feel intensely masculine but less like a man than I've ever felt in my life. I feel very connected to my butchness tho#and extremely extremely connected to my voice <3#anyways thank you again for your message mr fredfinch it put a great big smile on my face
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It's actually fascinating to me that dating apps have essentially pulled the same bullshit that streaming services (and the video game industry, now that i think about it) have pulled.
Essentially: - the market is over-saturated - "content" is spread thin - constant downgrades and removal of free features to paid tiers
I can think of quite a few dating apps off the top of my head. Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid. (Most of which have enjoyed a brief five minutes on my phone before I realized ahh scary, but hear me out.) Userbases are actually spread pretty thin. Tinder has the most people on it, being the only usable app in many small town and rural areas. It has very effectively marketed itself as a hookup app, not a relationship app*--hence, people stay on the app longer and are more likely to get frustrated and pay for the premium tiers (after all, those 86 likes are so tantalizing! I want to know who they are! Ah...now that I've paid, where did they all go?) Technically all of these platforms will advertise your profile globally, far outside your location to drum up likes and trick you into paying for premium, but Tinder is a pretty hefty offender because of its near-ubiquity and explicit de-emphasis on long term relationships.
Other apps lack the userbase that Tinder has. They might be okay in the city, but the effect is very similar to content being divided among the many streaming platforms that have sprung forth since the advent of Netflix. Sure, it's easy enough to download every dating app available on the app store, but you have to a) dedicate time to curating your preferences on each of these apps and b) the free versions suck ass. Depending on what subscription model you get, these things can run you up as much as 40 bucks a month per subscription. That racks up fast. And people are desperate for companionship.
Here's the other comparison. Remember the paid streaming tier of Netflix with ads, when in the past decade its explicit appeal was having all the content with no ads?
I did a little snooping on the OkCupid subreddit, because I was curious. Most of the most popular posts and success stories were from... 2014. Nearing a decade ago, at this point. Many, many of the features that made (free!) OkCupid not only usable, but a genuinely accessible and efficient online dating experience have been slowly chipped away. Looking at the google reviews, and the subreddit, you can see how disappointed people were to watch this app's downfall. Prior to my own forays into online dating, when I was first doing research about free dating apps (because I'm a dirty cheapskate) I noticed that naturally, the older the articles were, the more highly these apps were spoken of. Despite this being the supposed heyday of online dating, the apps are at the worst they've ever been.
The parallels to the downgrades of streaming services are fairly clear, but I think it's even more obvious and insidious when you compare it to the state of microtransactions in the gaming industry.
See, many of these apps have "boost" mechanics that advertises your profile to more people (because everything these days is so swipe-heavy) or they have "super likes" that are limited and can be bought and let your potential match know you're interested--god, even the all important, basic dating mechanic of "letting people know you're interested in them" is made into a paid feature! Admittedly, most of my examples here pertain to OkCupid (because it's the only app I can bring myself to spend more than 48 hours on), but that one makes you pay fucking $1.99 for read receipts**. This is very similar to the pay structure of the mobile games industry, as well as the free-to play model of many modern console and PC games.
The gaming industry, being something of a new medium of expression and working as its own "virtual reality" of sorts, is usually a harbinger of new "innovations" in the ways we are sold commodities--lootboxes, for example.
And here we are. The invasion of microtransactions, season passes, and paid DLC that gut the base game of the most personal aspect of our lives.
In the case of streaming services and certain games, the solution has been piracy, or not to play. But for many of us, romantic loneliness is a major barrier to happiness in our lives, and the results these subscription services net us are...minimal. For those of us who are less than conventionally attractive or socially awkward, I mean, there's a reason we're trying to utilize these apps in the first place.
The equivalent to piracy is risking rejection and asking people out face to face. Otherwise... you can't exactly download a relationship. Or not one with a real person, at least. Our loneliness is already being capitalized on via AI romantic companions, as we've seen with Replika.
I've seen a fair few people (in my circle of edgy lefty tumblr, anyways) express frustration over the odd little cognitive dissonance that it's no longer as comfortable or commonplace to express romantic interests in strangers, though it may be in a normal, respectful way. Can't help but feel like that's related.
*I want to clarify that people who do hookups are cool and can do whatever they want. It's just that the state of the dating app industry has left those of us more interested in long term relationships in the dust.
**These are generally bad in normal day to day life, but I would argue in the context of a dating app that these can be pretty crucial in determining another person's interest.
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navramanan · 1 year
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I go through these short periods of time feeling very okay and good even only bc i distract myself from what pains me until it catches up again and the cycle repeats itself
#i think it's verrrrrrrrry close to catching up again after i've had normal 2 weeks lol#so many ifs and buts and would things be better had i made a different decision lived in a different place or time etc#but i'll never now i'll always only have the here and now and the unchangeable past#and the very incertain scary future i'm trying so so so hard to be hopeful about but seeing things as they are right now. i really dont kno#i can only fake it to some point. i cant fake it till i make it. i'll fall apart countless times and then wont make it anyway#i feel like. i feel like all the circumstances i've been in have all always been against me#like i'm the only unlucky one among the people i know#i try so so so hard to remind myself that people who seem to have it so much better have their own problems too#but then also i remember something i wrote down once as a teen. the phrase you typically hear#''i have been battling (?) with this problem but am lucky enough to have a support system / loving friends etc''#and idk how right i am with thinking this way but no matter what problems you have.#it's the toughest thing to lack deep connections with at least 1 person ideally like 3 i guess bc it's such a fundamental thing#you know having someone you can ALWAYS turn to without feeling bad and you know that they can and do turn to you too#and i do have a few wonderful friends i love so so much but i feel and know that no one needs me like i need them#every friendships feels so fragile to me. no one depends on me turns to me for advice or to vent etc#and when i feel like i need to do any of those things i cant turn to any of them#there's still inevitably a sort of disconnect i feel#and it terrifies me that i'll never find someone i connect with on a deeper level and it's mutual and we both can depend on each other#and there are no boundaries no shame no unspoken words#i dont know how true any of my feelings are but. but yeah#nesi rants
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dtwof · 11 months
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hard times, ethel cain / america decides
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cold-neon-ocean · 1 year
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Started watching Physical 100 on Netflix bc some friends recommended it and you can imagine the marid of ideas I’m having~
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