#and a lot brighter than the pics make it seem

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

00.2. the first time quinn invited you over

➴ warnings: mention of a restrictive diet, almond mom kinda?

➴ word count: 1.1k

➴ author’s note: i am a mushroom hater till the day i die. fuck mushrooms.

౨ৎ

2013, OCTOBER.

THE first time Quinn invited you over, it was on a Sunday morning.

Your parents were at work, as they always were, and you were trying to make some food for yourself and Peter, who was currently laying on his bed and playing video-games.

It wasn’t like you were used to cooking, after all, you were just eleven and you had so many sitters growing up that you didn’t have to do much. But you’d manage to convince your parents that you didn’t need an old, ugly lady taking care of you anymore— you knew how to take care of yourself. And it was true, until you had to cook something that wasn’t microwaved popcorn.

It was ten a.m. and the doorbell rang, the song ricocheting through the empty house. You immediately looked at the digital clock sitting on the kitchen counter, frowning because you knew your parents wouldn’t be home until some time after six.

Carefully, you got off the chair you were on top of trying to reach the pancakes mix, and walked towards the door. Looking at the camera (because you knew how to take care of yourself and because you should never open the door to strangers!) you saw Quinn there, with his hands in his pockets.

You smiled, opening the door.

Your friendship with Quinn bloomed just like flowers did during the first week of spring. He was nice to you, listened to all of your questions and thoughts, and was kind enough to explain things you didn’t really understand (he seemed to know everything). He didn’t let you paint his nails, something about his brothers, Luke and Jack, making fun of him for it, but he always let you play with his curls.

He played with you for hours and to your ultimate surprise, he never complained. Not even once. And he was much better at throwing the ball than Peter ever was.

“Hi, Quinny!” You greeted him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He patted you on the head awkwardly, like he always did. “Why are you here?”

“I just made breakfast for Jack and Luke,” he mumbled. “And you told me once you like pancakes. So do you wanna go eat some?”

You were so happy in that moment that it felt like Christmas all over again. Thinking of your empty stomach, you nodded.

“Only if there’s enough for everyone and,” you bit your lip, suddenly embarrassed. “Can I bring some for Pete too? I didn’t cook him breakfast.”

Quinn frowned at you, like he sometimes did whenever you mentioned Peter. “Why are you cooking? Isn’t it dangerous for a kid to be in the kitchen?”

“I’m eleven. ‘M not a kid anymore.”

“Sure,” he laughed, nodding. “Come on.”

You both left your house and you closed the door behind you, as you followed Quinn to his house, yapping his ears off. You were excited about a new cooking show you’d been watching and you needed to tell someone how the guy in there had baked the prettiest cake you’d ever seen.

Opening the door, Quinn let you in first before entering the house himself. You looked around, noticing how different his house was from yours: simpler, but so much brighter. There were family pics everywhere, the sight momentarily overwhelming you. A huge living room to your right, and an even bigger kitchen to your left.

Sitting on the couch, you could see two other boys, who looked a lot like Quinn.

“Those are Jack and Luke,” Quinn explained, grabbing the boys’ attention. “Lukey is ten and Jack is twelve. Come say hi.”

He grabbed your hand and dragged you towards them, as you shyly hid your body behind his. You were naturally shy, not a fan of attention on you, which was exactly what you were getting, with both Jack and Luke’s bright eyes on you.

“Is this Madison?” Jack asked, pointing at you.

“Yes, actually,” Quinn said, getting out of the way so you could see them. “She’s having breakfast with us today.”

“Does she like chocolate chips on her pancakes?” Luke asked, looking very serious. You didn’t know much but it felt like that question was going to determine his entire opinion about you. And you understood him, that’s how you feel about people who put mushrooms on their pizzas. You hated them.

“I don’t know,” Quinn looked at you and smiled. “Do you like chocolate chips, Maddie?”

Maddie. Quinn would sometimes call you that, and it made your heart flutter. It felt nice to know that someone liked you enough to give you a nickname.

“Mom doesn’t let me eat chocolate,” you mumbled, looking at your hands, still intertwined with Quinn’s. “She says it will make me fat.”

“What’s the problem with that?” One of them, probably Jack, asked and you furrowed your eyebrow.

“Mom says people won’t like me if I’m fat.” You shrugged, repeating the thing you’ve heard your entire life.

Luke stood on the couch, jumping around. “That’s b-bullshit!”

“Luke!” Quinn yelled, making the boy stop jumping and sit back on the couch, head down. “We don’t say that word.”

“Sorry.” He pouted and you wanted to squeeze his cheeks.

“It’s fine if you eat chocolate once in a while, and people shouldn’t like you just because of your looks,” Quinn whispered, poking your forehead. “Do you want to?”

You thought about it for a long time, staring at Quinn’s gentle, kind eyes for a while before saying yes. Yeah. You did want chocolate.

So he cooked more pancakes for you, making sure to put chocolate chips in all of them, while you sat between Jack and Luke on the couch, watching as they watched some kind of weird cartoon and talked your ears off, acting like they’ve known you for years.

Maybe that’s why Quinn never complained about your yapping sessions; Jack and Luke were the Kings of Yapland themselves.

“Here you go.” He placed a big plate in front of you, with at least five huge pancakes on it.

“Thank you,” you said, quietly, as you cut a piece and ate it.

You closed your eyes, sighing, and enjoying the sweet taste on your mouth, licking your lips right after that. Holy cow. Not wanting to waste any time, you dived into the world of chocolate chip pancakes and ate all five of them, not even stopping to breathe.

When you finished the last bite, you put your fork down and sat back on the couch, patting your belly, not even caring about the lady manners your Mom loved to remind you of.

Only then you realized that all of them were staring at you.

“Hum,” you started, feeling your cheeks burn. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” Quinn said, giving you a smile. “We’re just happy you liked them. I can make more if you want.”

“No, I’m full,” you mumbled. “Thanks.”

And just like that, Luke, Quinn and Jack resumed their conversation about Hockey and games. You didn’t understand a thing, but it was funny to watch Jack trying to prove a point while his brother shouted over his words and Quinn asked them to be quiet.

That day you felt welcomed by them. Jack, Quinn and Luke made you feel wanted, in their own little weird way.

It felt nice.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

[pensbridge]

Master Post Bridgerton Live Event Season 3

Let me just say so much of what they said leans into exactly how I pictured it.

○ Some words to describe the season: Shonda-"intimate" / Jess B-"confidence" / Luke Newts-"unexpected" / Nicola-"romantic" / Luke Thom-"zoom in"

○ They talk about Colin's words last season and say it was a good place to start in the story/journey; confirm apology will come

○ Pen has 1 main suitor besides Colin who takes a real interest in her (Spoiler: it's Lord Debling)

○ Julia Quinn said it is a good friends to lovers story. She sounded so excited!

○ Someone (either Shonda, Julia or Jess) said they have some good awkward banter.

○ Julia Quinn really confirmed the Colin-Pen hand scene (1st real emotional and physically intimate scene for them)

○ How Jess B talks about Colin (again) gives me hope for his personal journey-mentioned about the 3rd son "not knowing his place in the world" & more

○ Protective El of Colin confirmed (we get El and Colin scenes), but she still loves Pen; Luke N. called it a non-romantic love triangle between the 3

○ Benedict takes roles of Anthony; he can fall into different roles very well, but who is he and what does he want?

○ Will and Alice acquire a new title this season; Martins talked about how they are "drawn out of the shadows"

○ Adjoa talked about how Lord Ledger affected her; called that romance "life-changing"; QCABS enriched Lady Danbury story coming into season 3

○ Lady D. personal journey-she's "shook" at an arrival that happens 👀

○ Golda-How do you do private intimacy in the view of the public (George and QC)? / she loves the Brimsley relationship

○ When talking about QC picking the diamond of the season said she's bored of what's going on and is "searching for something different"

○ [Other tidbit-they're hosting a Bridgerton wedding for a lucky real-life couple.]

○ Shonda quote about Bridgerton always "finding a way to give female characters agency" and Pen has a good way of coming into this in this season

○ Nicola-"so much happens" in their story

○ They talked about how the show has changed their lives-Claudia said she always walks away proud of what she's done and essentially there's not one part of the job she's unsatisfied with. aww; Adjoa said "a space for everyone"

○ Season 3 is "for the wallflowers"- Adjoa [they mentioned this a lot; the interaction on this between Adjoa and Nicola just made it seem like there is Lady Danbury-Pen relationship]

○ Nic and Newts recreated the pic in the mirror with candle stick!! what?! / They also watch fan edits and send them to each other

○ Easter egg in almost every episode according to Jess B. and they are "raising the bar on visuals"- "even brighter and more spectacular than ever"

○ Superlatives: most like character-Luke Newton; least-Golda; most bloopers-Johnny Bailey or Claudia (and I think she was offended at first, lol)

○ Chaos in Featherington fam because Pen steps out (Portia doesn't like when Pen changes from her citrus dresses)

○ Nicola "didn't expect to be as emotional as it was" from the first 2 episode screening

○ Adjoa said things will make you laugh then quickly after cry

○ Claudia said people make mistakes and people fall..., etc.

○ Theme: "Find your light." -Jess B.

○ The line in QCABS "We are untold stories" is what this season is about

[hannahssimblr]

you are SO good at conveying romantic chemistry visually! do you have any tips or advice on how to make romance more romantic?

oh, thank you so much! I love writing romance but it's sometimes hard to know how effective I'm actually being conveying it, so, this is really nice to hear.

I guess that when I'm writing romance the focus is always on the feelings in a person's body. To me, that feels more important than anything the character is seeing or hearing. To be honest, it was always easier for me to write romance from Evie's POV because I know how it feels to be a gal who likes boys, so I guess I always just tried to put myself in her skin.

For her, every time Jude touched her, or almost touched her was A Moment, and I made sure to always make innocent moments between them seem kinda sexual, and build up that tension until finally - omg, finally, he actually is touching her in that way, and it's almost a relief.

It's always in the tension - the things that aren't happening, rather than the things that are, and always, the things that were sexiest about Jude were the things that she didn't know about him - the things she could imagine he had done and was doing with other people. It's like, the weight of his gaze on her, the heat of his body, still on the hoodie he just gave her, him accidentally brushing against her - someone else could do those things, and she wouldn't notice it, but she does with him. I think even mentioning those small things builds the romance.

Two people who like each other will always be aware of the proximity of the other in the room, they'll think of one another using slightly sexual terms, or at least in a physical way, they'll always long for more contact, even if it's just by being close and not touching. Like, the air between them is always charged and hot.

there's a couple bits towards the end of Lucky Girl where the tension is really building, and I'm gonna quote them bc!! I thought they were sensual without being overtly so.

“Worth a try.” He shrugs, and lifts it out of my hands. When he takes another sip he puts his lips against the very same spot where my mouth was, and I wonder if he did it on purpose. The idea of which is strangely erotic. I shiver. “Are you going to stay over?”

This is a scene when they are alone at night in her apartment. Later he asks her why she took all of the little studs out of her ear, and lightly pinches his finger and thumb against her earlobe, which makes her heart pound and she goes to bed and has a saucy dream about him lmao.

When Jude shifts positions next to me and accidentally presses his thigh against mine I wait for him to move it, but he doesn’t. In the dark of this room, where the only light is the glow from the television screen, I risk a glance at his face, and he looks right back at me, saying nothing. But I swear there’s something in his eyes, because at that moment they seem to glitter even brighter than the city lights outside the window.

um, accidentally? This is the day before he finally makes a move on her.

“Oh.” I whisper. “I like those a lot. I wish I looked like that all of the time.” “Yeah, I like them too,” he says. “And actually, you do. That’s just how you look to me.” And in that small moment his gaze feels weighted, so much so that goosebumps erupt on my arms as though there’s an electrical current moving beneath my skin. I feel him watching my face, but meeting his eyes feels risky, it’s always felt a bit risky, because I want him so badly that sometimes it makes it hard to breathe. I fear that too much time spent looking at him might drive me to start doing the sorts of things I know I will spend time regretting.

he photographs her, and she likes the pics, and also kinda wants him to fuck her right now on the studio floor, I guess.

I could go on more and more about what I've learned about the actual getting-together part, and what I know about kiss scenes and sex scenes and depicting actual relationships but! Maybe I'll make a whole separate post for that if I'm not feeling frightened lol!

[knightowl-studios]

“This is a warning for Kray Foresight - free all captive Burnish immediately, or I’ll burn Promepolis to the ground!”

Many hours, layers, micromanaged bg assets, and egregious amounts of colorpicking later, it is finally done //passes out

As soon as I watched Promare I was legally obligated to draw the dragon.

Please do not reupload without permission!

(Very ramble-y) process notes and wips below the cut:

[[Shoutout to Tamberella’s wonderful city brushset, the bg would not have been possible otherwise!]]

I had to cross-reference so many stills and gifs from the movie in order to try and recreate the atmosphere and style XD This whole drawing was also the perfect excuse to whip out the polyline tool again, it’s one of my favorite things to draw with but I don’t actually use it much for...some reason lmao.  Habit?  Who knows...

As you can see, it was initially supposed to include his lil arms, but I couldn’t find a way to make them flow well with his line of action and had to exclude them (which was a bit painful as I was really happy with how the claw shapes turned out).  I figured since the film seems to cheat it the same way, it was fine for me to do it as well XD Though I don’t have a capture of it, originally his body was also in a more straightforward loop-de-loop kind of shape.

I wanted to put special focus into the pose and sense of action (two things Trigger really excels at), namely when it came to the head and jaws.  I noticed that in a couple of shots the dragon’s jaw is “broken” - opened at an unrealistically wide angle - to better emphasize the action, and while I didn’t take it as far as Trigger did I wanted to try and capture something similar in my own way.

The windows required SO much micromanaging.  I blocked out a “template” of windows using one of the brushes in the mentioned set, grid-warped it to align with the perspective, and then copy-pasted it onto each building and then manually went through each one to make sure every patterns of “lit” windows was unique and felt believable.  The process had to be repeated twice, for both visible sides of the buildings.  As far as individual parts of the pic go, that step probably took the longest.

I also really wanted to somehow incorporate triangles into the drawing since they’re so representative of the Burnish and the Promare, and adding some around the face seemed the most intuitive way to do it.

A lot of miscellaneous things were added at this point, such as the ground flares (polyline tool my beloved), the smoke, and smaller details like making sure the dragon felt more “sourced” in the scene by clipping the tail behind a tower.  The background was also blurred, to help sell the perspective as well as keep the focus on Lio.  The flares were one of the hardest things to manage in the latter regard, too, as due to some oversights in my initial color choices they were actually brighter than Lio and stole his thunder!  So it took several different tries to find a way to successfully de-emphasize them without inadvertently making them some weird sickly color XD

If you read through all of these notes, thank you so much, I love you!!  //hands you a cookie

Bonus layer screenshot:

[rosiethedragongeek]

Rating the gang's dragon's mates (as shown by the Rise of Berk game I'm p sure) bc someone has to (also I'm sorry if the images look a lil weird I'm dragging them in bc it's just easier rn and idk what that'll do to them lol)

Okay up first, Stormfly's mate

6/10

He's hardly the worst out of all of them, but I'm just not that big a fan of him being so green idk. I like the green and pink together, but I'm honestly not that sure how his colors look w Stormfly's just aesthetically

Hookfang's mate

7.5/10 maybe? POTENTIALLY an 8 idk

I bounce between liking and hating the colors, but either way they look nice together. She's making a kinda derpy face but that's a postitive honestly. (Also I doubt this is true bc I'm p sure they have one Monstrous Nightmare model/drawing (depending on whether you're seeing a drawing or a model lol) that they use in game, but the fins on her back look spikier than Hooky's to me and her horns look smaller?)

Barf and Belch's mate(s?)

(WHY IS THE PIC SO SMALL???)

5/10

I kinda like their colors, or,, I would if it weren't for the greyish silver that's just kinda everywhere. Idk I kinda associate zipplebacks w brighter colors and I just don't like the shade lol. Also the 'spikes' on their heads just don't work for me (not a huge fan of the spikes on their necks and back being so spaced out and also silver just meh). The little scales on their wings fading from red to orange to yellow is a nice touch though I like that a lot.

Also I just discovered that Barf and Belch are a boy through their mate's fandom wiki?? I was curious bc I've never been sure, so I checked to see what was up w these one's and they're female, so I was like ohhh Barf and Belch must be male, and I went over to their wiki and yeah they are. I just feel like there were easier ways for me to figure that out lol.

Meatlug's mate

3/10

I hate him I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM. I hate that he's like, a greyish green and bright yellow. (I love Meatlug's color pallete, I love how soft and warm it is, this is NOT that) His ear things seem longer too, which I HATE. Also the bumps on his face and tail (which are few and far between for me) just being ORANGE is kinda gross. (I'm not gonna comment too mucch on the texture and stuff of them bc the game isn't THAT detailed and that's FINE, but in the picture they look like,,, pussy???) (Meatlug's, at least in the shows, are more textured and not straight up purrple and shiny idk)

Toothless' mate

Like 4/10?

I like her tail fin being a different shape, but her ear thingies are too round and short, and I feel like all of her proportions are to softened you know?. Also she looks like she's wearing eye shadow which,,,, :/ (could just be the shadows but idk that's what it looks like) (also, her feet and the way she's sitting she just looks like they're trying to make her very feminine, which is okay, but like paired w the proportions and stuff idk it just feels wrong to me

(I'm joking around and wtv but honestly I like her so much more in the Rise of Berk art style, she's just a little more angular, and it cuts the sparkles and stuff, and she just feels a LITTLE more like what she should've been.)

[saltymongoose]

This has been on my mind so much lately, what if Player in fancy clothes? like... maybe a suit or those fancy dresses with a slit on the side(s)? How would the boys react?

I can just imagine Deimos being extra flirty bc of it and Hank just having to stand there and control himself before he overheats from flusteredness, as well as Sanford's going all shy n stuff about it and Doc is basically speachless...

Heres a drawing of what I mean

Also lil bonus with my take of their reactions, added the two other quartets <3

Omg, this looks so good! The Player is definitely gonna turn some heads all dressed up like that. And the three quartet's reactions are really cute too, I love how much character you portrayed in each little iteration of them. Excellent job on this, I love it! :D <3333

I also believe that, considering how having to dress up for anything in Nevada is extremely rare, most of its denizens don't really think about something like that very often. (Perhaps only when imagining your possible wedding?) So when you do actually decide to dress up for whatever reason, it's even more surprising. There's that additional question of how and why you did it, combined with the realization of just how stunning you look. It's a little overwhelming for them, as you can tell by the way they go red when you reveal your new outfit to them.

You're definitely right about how Deimos would be very flirty with you at that moment, but I also think Doc would give his own little comments after he's gotten over his surprise. Nothing as obvious (or borderline indecent) as Deimos' flirts might end up, but with how you can feel him gazing at you like you're the only person in the world, it's hard not to feel a tiny bit flustered. You're spot on with Sanford and Hank as well; any compliments that Sanford makes are given in almost a whisper until he figures out what exactly to say, with almost a hesitant undertone. It makes you giggle, and if you tease him he'll probably get even worse. (Even if making you laugh makes him feel a lot brighter. Especially when the others give him a pointed glare for it.)

Hank doesn't speak at all, content to simply stare and admire you. (Though he will stand next to you protectively if anyone tries to touch you. This includes people in his own group.)

Since you brought him up in your second pic, I think Phobos would have the exact opposite reaction; he wouldn't shut up about how good you look. It seems that all he speaks are elaborate compliments, even bragging about you to any Nexus worker who's close and having them acknowledge your beauty as well. But he also gets weirdly angry when they look at you for too long, which is another thing. Jeb is a lot like 2B in his genuine compliments, though he's probably very reverent in his words if that makes sense. Hofnarr is even more shy than Sanford would be though, probably not even approaching you until hours after he first sees your outfit, just so he has time to compose himself and compliment you properly.

(Also, you've provided a new outfit for the Nexus Agents to make art of you in, which causes quite the stir in your dedicated fanclub lol.)

[lavalampstealer]

Younger Phoenix from before their implant :)

Before they got the telekinesis implant, they were a darker blue and their preferred weapon was their fists or whatever object(s) happened to be nearby. Their quick thinking and creative use of their environment during training and combat earned them the opportunity to receive the implant and become part of the Enhanced Operatives Division.

I can’t really say much about them yet because lots of it is still fuzzy in the details, but they were more of a stickler for doing things logically and had more anxiety around being good enough for the Agency’s standards. They’ve since loosened up and gained more confidence in themselves as they’ve worked with Handler and found increasingly chaotic ways of successfully thwarting Zoraxis and completing their missions.

Also the way that character colors work for my style/designs is that it’s an artistic choice to color the mouths/eyebrows rather than Phoenix’s eyes and tongue literally going from blue to cyan (although the idea that the implant affects eye color is cool ngl). A character’s color is a reflection of their personality, characteristics, and general feel that I get from them, with the exception of if a character already has a canonical color (like John Juniper and Roxana Prism). Examples: Handler is golden yellow because he seems warm and he likes/liked scotch and marigolds, as well as his subtitle color in IEYTD 1 being yellow (albeit a different shade). Zor is red and gold because Zoraxis is also red and gold so it just makes sense that they would have the same colors as their corporation (also the cliché that red=evil, that whole thing). Phoenix is cyan because of their powers and it fits their personality more than red or any other color would. I don’t really have a reason for why Fabricator would be indigo other than her polaroid pic’s lighting looks dark blue/indigo and that it just makes sense to me. Solaris would be orange because of her love for lasers and because her name makes me think of a glowing ember orange. The more of an impact a character has on the story, the brighter/more saturated their color is (Ex: Daniel Sans would have a muted yellow-green and Anna Ulanova would have a muted wine red because they both don’t appear much but aren’t unimportant).

That’s all I have for now, and I hope it’s not too much to have this much info alongside an art post

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary65

11/15-16/2023

wednesday - thursday

it's so quiet right now.

i showered just now, or like, at 11, and i've gotten out an hour ago maybe, 1 hour, 30 mins, maybe, i dunno. i had to do the rest of my working out in the bathroom tonight which meant no hip thrusts but i did bring my phone into the bathroom and that made me look at all my old pics after using it as a timer. it made me cry a little, seeing all that. the fan is off and it's so quiet. it's so weird. i can hear myself breathe, the apartments around us are creaking. i hear my keys. it's a long time since i've reckoned with silence like this. then after looking at all the old pics i took pics of myself thinking if i could get a photo of myself, a mirror selfie, where i get myself as front on as possible, with as many features exposed i guess, to try and understand what i look like. to see if i could compare it to the bad picture of me, and see if that one is lying to me or something. but i don't know. i don't know why i look better in the mirror, does that mean i look better in other human eyes too, or is it only because i am seeing myself at eye level. is eye level always flattering? i can't tell. i don't know. i don't want answers from the internet because they're always crushing. it feels intentional. people on quora and body dysmorphia forums want you to feel terrible so you have to stay near them, it feels like. i guess saying things are really as bad as you imagine, and every detail you've invented is actually real, is a good way to keep yourself from being lonely.

anyway, i don't want to keep imagining what angle produced my fucked up face in picture v. why my face seems (in my eyes from my skull from my brain and eye spacing and all the seconds and whatever making the perception add up to "a face" (can you tell i really feel insane because of this)) okay. i am tired, it is late.

today i recorded vocals and it felt good, and i exported 2 of the songs i redid vocals on, and i do like the vocals a lot more. one needs them to be quieter, the other needs them a touch louder + brighter. anyway, i need to get the mixing re-done on the third. tomorrow i will do that. honest. i think i said so already but this freakout is at least productive for writing.

i am unpleasantly sick in my stupid head. this song makes it feel better. i like how the song turns kind of evil at this speed. when they play it slow, it's scared, when it's fast it's evil. there's something so meaningful in that, something about fear turning to cynical abandon, crashing your car, jumping into the street, off buildings, your body reduced to something you are performing velocity functions on to see how far it could go or whatever. being freaked out makes that happen. somehow that's cool. i guess it's the abandon part. something about 'abandon' and the abandoned right beside eachother, infinite growth and overfed expectations + excitement into total failure, dead office buildings are a kind of manifestation of the death drive, right. don't mind me i'm just free associating, feeling bad makes that always seem more important than it actually is. that's how mark fisher got to be anything. he was so depressed he didn't realize he wasn't really that bright. i don't want to be mark fisher. he's not too stupid either. i just don't want to ever be as obvious as he was. it would wound me to be that obvious. i figure, though, everyone thinks i am, just like everyone thinks that's me in that picture, and it is but it isn't, and maybe i am but not like that. maybe not at all. i refuse it, that isn't me, and i can make myself not that obvious, right? now i'm just pleading with god or something. it's all nonsense anyways, mindvomit. tomorrow i promise to be more lucid, i promise to be happier and maybe i'll be prettier too. my selfies were good, i think. that's the scary part. in the mirror, i reached a point where i though, i look okay. but then it felt wrong again. i can't tell. i saw myself a little bit just now, i couldn't tell, was it okay, was i ugly, i didn't linger, i couldn't. why is this so overpowering for me. it's eating all my head, it's really bleach on a pattern, splash and then blankness forever. i need mouthwash. i am going to see myself again. i'll report back and say what i saw. it's like blair witch.

maybe i've come closer to understanding if something went wrong, or not. i can't tell though. i can't tell if i'm blind to my jaw, or if i see it too harshly. it looks okay, i think, when i relax in front of the mirror more.

i started crying, i think i see myself, right now, or i hope, i don't know, i'm treating my face like mars, i'm also the probe. anyway i started crying, i don't know, there were more thoughts, i can't keep doing this to myself but i feel like that really isn't my face but i'm too tense or i keep moving things around weird or something. i dunno. i can't tell. it's 4 am now. yay so fun i love being crazy lol.

anyway:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[frowzyfeathers]

So, I've grown my spider collection a bit just by catching certain ones out on the front porch.

I currently have 18 under my belt-

1 thin-spined jumper, male

2 tan/familiar jumpers, both female

1 zebra jumper, still a sling

3 ribbon jumpers, all slings with a possible female

7 habronattus pyrrithrix, 4 male/3 female

6 unknown tiny slings I can't tell what species they are, but they may be habronattus pyrrithrix

Here's the previous one:

.

So, Gilford, the small jumper with a single pedipalp, was adorable in his time but has sadly passed on a long while ago. Weirdly, he died while holding onto a fruit fly, which confuses me a lot. While he was alive, he seemed to have a cautious personality. He'd take some time to prepare to pounce on a stationary fruit fly, like a cat wiggling their butt before they pounce on a toy.

Finally figured out that he was a sub-adult ribbon jumper too.

And I found three younger ribbon jumpers, who might be related to him, since I found them in similar spots in the front yard- I need them to grow a bit to tell if they'll be male or female, but I'm already ready to try to raise them to those points. Ribbon jumpers are a smaller species of jumping spider and they don't get any larger than 6-10mm in length.

I saw a bigger adult ribbon jumper earlier Tuesday while dad was cutting the lawn, and it looked like she caught a cricket of some kind- They seemed pretty chonky for a ribbon jumper, so I'm assuming they're female and possibly gravid, which is fantastic--

Some pics of Gilford

.

Mocha, the brighter colored adult female tan jumper, hasn't eaten lately and didn't seem to want to make a nest for a while. She ate a mealworm a few days ago and still looks pretty healthy and full, so I'm not too worried about her. Also she made a nest/hammock recently, so most is well. Just gotta feed her again soon as she looks skinny-

She seems more open and aware when I'm close to her. Like, if I wave my hand near her, she doesn't seem to mind it, looking up at me then back to whatever she's doing. Calm, that's the word. She's pretty docile and non-aggressive.

I thought she was gravid since her abdomen is bigger than average, and she hasn't molted since I found her. And I found out that she was! I don't think I should be concerned too much though, since she's in a regulated enclosure with good humidity. I have extra cups and containers for next month, as she just laid her egg sack recently 2 nights ago!! I can't wait for all the little babies-- ^-^

(Might raise and sell some of her slings in about 2-4 months from now- They'll probably be like $5-$10 per sling, plus the dreaded overnight shipping fee of $35 or so, which sucks but is necessary to make sure they stay safe and alive during shipment-)

Some pictures of Mocha

.

Silver, my other female tan jumper who's grayer with her coloration, is still pretty skiddish. She snacks on fruit flies occasionally, but she hasn't eaten a full-on meal yet- She seems pretty healthy though, so it might just be because she's still nervous-

I caught a small fly and cricket out in the yard for her and fed her the fly yesterday, so nvm about her not eating recently- She gladly snagged it by its neck and sat there drinking their insides for a while-

Haven't had too many good shots of her, but top view of Silver

.

My habronattus pyrrithrixes are quite the crew.

Sunny, the female, is one I caught this past Monday. I don't think she's gravid, as her abdomen is the same size as her head rn after eating. Her name is Sunny because in the sunlight, she looks like she has a golden yellow face. She seems very gentle and docile too, and likes to hide in her nest most of the time.

Dusty, one of my males with all his legs, I just caught earlier yesterday. He's eaten and still needs to adjust to things, but he's pretty cute still. I found him on the window shutter on the front porch.

Herbert, my other male with all his leggies, is pretty chill for the most part. He eats like 1 fruit fly once a day and chills in his little nest he made in the peanut shell hide I glued in for him in his temporary enclosure.

Scar, another male, is missing one of his back legs on his left side.

Red, my other other male, is missing one of his front legs.

Scar and Red were put into the same enclosure to see if they would fight each other and eat the loser. Jumping spiders can be cannibalistic, and the males are all around my yard. I have found at least 5 that I have not caught yet, and they were all in the grass in the front and back yard.

Long story short, I thought they would fight. But they did their mating dances towards each other, fang to fang. I haven't seen two male jumpers act that way towards one another before, so it kinda shocked me a bit.

I found two other females in the past few days. They both don't have names yet, but one might be named Honey.

.

My zebra jumper I caught on the kitchen window screen. Idk their sex yet since they're still a sling, but it's interesting how they can still notice me moving around being just a little baby still. They are literally the size of the head of a pin and so detailed with their stripes.

.

Kermit, my male thin-spined jumper, likes to chill on the little plastic boxwood stem I put in his cup or just on the sides of his enclosure. Yes, his enclosure cup rn is a BurgerKing ice cream cup with the dome lid with poked pinholes all on the top and on the sides. It works because they're literally like 4mm long, 6 or 7mm when he's spread out. His species is tiny-

.

I'm going to invest in a good macro camera, as my phone is kinda shit at taking photos- And most of the species I find here are pretty small, but I am looking for a bold jumper. It's the most common jumper as a pet since they're a decent size and are pretty chill once they get to know you-

[the-real-samuel]

Finally got a haircut and got my hair redyed : )

(He/him)

[saphushia]

I love you art!! Do you have any advice for choosing colors that work well together?

thank you! colors mostly just come naturally to me (whether its actually natural or if i've just internalized color theory so strongly that it feels natural i'm not sure lol) so im not very good at actually explaining it. most of it is genuinely just what looks good to you, but looking up some basics of color theory can help a lot to narrow down options so it's easier to pin down what you want.

doing those limited palette challenges (especially when the subject matter doesn't necessarily fit the palette colors) can be good practice and i think at least a small portion of my skill in the area comes from playing those color-sorting phone games like blendoku or i love hue lol. also probably related is the year or so when i was younger where i just refused to use gradients whatsoever for some reason

that aside, here's very bare bones color theory (i wont get into it too deep, there's a billion explanations online that are leagues better than i could explain it) and some tips that might be useful?

|img source|

i tend towards 2-tone palettes when i'm doing full color n they usually end up being complimentary (purple + yellow, green + pink) or close (blue + yellow, green + purple, pink + blue). i like a good strong contrast, which i think is generally what people mean when they say my style pops- having contrast makes the colors seem even brighter and stand-outish.

| left || top || bottom || right |

maybe that ^ helps? the ratios are rough estimates of how much of each pic is each color group. some common advice in general design (it's actually used in a lot of stuff- webpages, interiors, etc) is having 60% main color 30% secondary color and 10% accent color (but like i said, i mostly work in 2 colors so i don't have a great example on hand)

as for finding colors, i'll sometimes search for photography that has the kinda vibe i want- for the kindred spirits pic i literally searched "blue and green spooky toxic photography" and i think i ended up referencing a pic of green lights reflecting off of wet pavement on a dark street.

one big thing that i hardly ever see mentioned but i personally utilize an absolute fuck ton- dulling colors makes them lie. use this to your advantage. say you're using bright green; if you use a gray-blue it can look like purple and will blend with the green instead of contrasting like an actual purple would

| right example |

of course there's lots of situations where you do want the purple (or whatever color) to be a contrast, but this is useful when you don't.

a lot of the time lately i'll color everything in a base monotone (or very slightly varying analogous colors ie teal through indigo) and then make the lighting a contrast (complimentary) color on an 'add' or 'vivid light' or other lighting layer, then sometimes color pick the contrast colors shown in the lighting n use them sparingly to fill in a few of the base colors that didn't fit well being the base color. you can see that in the drowning picture (blue is the base color with pink lighting) and the kindred spirits drawing (gray-blue base colors with green lighting).

one last thing: never be afraid to use filters. almost all of the finished art i post has at least one overlay or gradient map or tonal correction layer ontop of it all. i'm quite partial to a low-opacity gradient map layer set to whatever colors i scrolled thru in my list and liked the vibe of, a black and white gradient map layer with the layer set to brightness (also on low opacity), or messing around with a tone curve or color balance layer. if someone starts shit with you for using filters on your art fucking block them. in general if it looks good it isn't cheating (insert common sense caveat that you aren't stealing other people's art etc etc)

[ramp-it-up]

Request:

Y/N is for one year in America and try to learn the language More (she is from Germany ).

Chris saw her at target and realized that she was kind of lost and was loved to help her 👀

Okayyyy Nonnie! How's this for a challenge?

At first I didn't know how I was going to get there from here, but I cruised IG for some German inspiration. As a result, instead of Y/N, reader is named Maëlle. I also struggled with the knowledge that most Germans know more English than Americans know of any other language, but this is all in fun. 😛

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader (Maëlle)

Word Count: Around 2K

Warnings: 18+, RPF, MINORS DNI, CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE, not proofread, Google Translate for the German, verry limited American knowledge of Germans and German culture, not full on Smut, but smutty thots, thoughts of oral sex, fingering, degradation kink, allusions to Dom! behavior, disregarding of stranger danger, the Red Sox, and an age gap.

Maëlle

**********************************

One of your goals when you got settled was to go to Target, Ziel when you arrived in Boston for your graduate exchange year at Boston University.

You understood a great deal of English and could speak many phrases, but you’d hoped your year in America would make you fluent.

You were proud that you were able to get from the BU Student Union to the store. You surprised yourself with the ease that you used your phone to help you translate for what you needed.

Now, you were standing in front of the doors, almost in tears, trying to find where your Uber was to pick you up.

You didn’t pay attention to which way you entered and you needed to find VanNess street. It was about to leave. You suddenly felt helpless, hilflos.

—-

Chris needed to pick up some sunscreen before the game, he couldn't afford a burn right before filming. Even though he had his Red Sox cap on, he still needed some high grade sunblock.

He hurried through the doors of the Target near Fenway Park, head down, trying not to get recognized.

He passed by some beautiful long bronze legs and followed them up a smoking hot body clothed in a scarlet Boston University t-shirt tied up tight and short blue jean skirt.

Your face was framed by waist length blonde braids and your eyes were the most beautiful he’d ever seen.

Your lips deserved ten minutes all on their own, but he kept it moving, not wanting to seem creepy.

You were gorgeous, although you looked flustered. Chris didn’t slow his roll, because you were probably waiting on someone.

When he came back through, five minutes later, he heard your voice and slowed down. He was surprised, but shouldn’t have been. There were black people all over the world.

Even in Germany.

“Kannst du mir zeigen, wo die Van Ness Street ist? Can you tell me? Where is Van Ness Street?”

Your accent was heavy, but passersby just assumed you were crazy or joking with them and ignored you.

Chris was ashamed. That wasn’t what he wanted Boston to be. Even though he was close to being late for the first pitch, he stopped for you. He summoned some German from filming in Europe.

“Kann ich Ihnen helfen?” It was one thing he knew how to say with perfect inflection.

You perked up and smiled at him. “Ach bist du Deutscher? You’re German?”

You looked into the face of the handsome stranger. His eyes. Verdammt!

Chris melted a little bit. When you smiled, you were even more beautiful. Chris smiled back at you, smitten. He laughed.

“No. Italian.”

You understood, but you were confused. Why was this handsome American saying he was Italian and speaking to you in German? And why was he so familiar?

“Oh, Ich entschuldige mich. Sorry.” You smiled again, and Chris forgot all about the game. He wanted to try to talk to you for hours.

“No worries, he said. “Bitte?”

This handsome man’s German was indeed poor. He’d fooled you. He was a good actor. Something pinged in the back of your mind, but you overlooked it. Somehow, he’d made you feel better.

“Ich habe meinen Uber vermisst. Uber, gone!” You made a motion with your hand. “Kannst du mir zeigen, wo die VanNess Street ist?”

“Ohhhh! VanNess is this way,” he pointed toward the other side of the store, and he started leading you through.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you followed him.

You neared the electronics department and there was a giant movie display with dvds. The man saw it, pulled up, stopped, grabbed your hand and quickly led you back the other way.

You were confused.

“Come to think of it, I’ll give you a ride, my car is back out this way. Druben?”

Chris was not going to ruin his afternoon and a chance to talk to you by getting caught signing autographs in Target. He loved his fans, but he already liked you.

You followed him back out of the sliding doors to the parking lot and a blank Range Rover. You just went along with him, your hand feeling at home in his.

Then the panic set in.

You didn’t know this man from Adam.

Your mother had warned you about getting kidnapped by an American serial killer. This was it. You hated it when she was right.

“Wait!”

You said it perfectly, and the man caught your anxiety.

Chris stopped as he tried to open the door for you. He looked into your worried eyes. Shit, he’d gotten carried away. He looked down to where your hands were still locked.

He couldn’t help but smile at them. You smiled, too. Then he looked at you, blue eyes looking like the sea. You smiled back, somehow knowing that you were safe. You leaned back on the car.

“I’m not going to hurt you. My name is Christopher, what is yours?”

“Maëlle.”

Your smile was brightening his entire life. He was into you.

“That’s beautiful. Das ist schön?”

You smiled wider at his compliment. Then you bit your lip. Chris' knees got weak and he took a step closer to you to regain balance.

You were in each other’s space, Chris looking down at you and you at him. You were both getting warm even though it was a cool September day.

Chris pulled your hand instinctively, and you were even closer, your fingers entwined in his close to his thigh, which you could sense flexing through his jeans.

You were staring at his lips and he was doing the same as the butterflies flew around your stomach.

Were you really considering kissing someone you’d just met in Target? What would your mother think?

That thought made you smirk.

“What are you thinking?”

He was leaning over you, his voice in a lower register now. His breath tickled your ear and made you moan slightly.

Chris wanted to know what was going on in that mind of yours, if you were as crazy as he was feeling this kind of connection so fast.

You understood exactly what he was saying, but you just cocked your head and smiled as if you didn’t. You didn’t want him to think that you were thinking of his hands all over you, in your most intimate places.

Chris took a deep breath, trying to clear his head and regain blood flow to his brain. His cock was hard being this close to you and he had to regain composure.

He wasn’t that reckless kid he used to be, but man he wanted to do some depraved things to you. Like drag his tongue up your…

He had to stop. Chris took a step back.

You watched as his tongue peeled out to lick his bottom perfect pink lip. It was strange, but you felt like you knew him. And you wanted him to know you. Intimately.

And now those perfect lips were moving, but you weren’t paying close enough attention to translate what he was saying.

“Can I give you a lift to campus?”

You cocked your head in that pretty way again. He wondered what it would be like to feel your lips. On his lips. On his tattoos, around his…

Chris cleared his throat and tried to think of the words.

“Kann ich mitnehmen?”

He was so cute. You smiled brighter and nodded, “Yes, Christopher.”

Then you gestured to your bra-less breasts in your thin t-shirt. Chris could tell your nipples were hard. He licked his lips and looked around. This was a development.

Then he got your message. He shook his head, chuckling that his thoughts were in the gutter.

“Ooooooh! Boston University! You’re on campus. Yeah, that’s right near here. I’ll take you.”

“Danke. Thanks you, Christopher.”

Your smile would be the end of him. He had to think of a creative way to get your number.

“Hey! Let’s take a picture!” He had his phone out.

You were confused, but maybe this is what Americans did to get to know each other. Take pictures with strangers.

He took a couple of pics and then opened the door for you.

You brushed past him to get in, and Chris allowed his eyes to take in your form, especially your shapely legs.

You noticed him checking you out, and immediately got goosebumps, your nipples hardening again. Your panties were a little moist.

“Let’s just get you… “

Chris reached across you for the seatbelt with his right hand, face coming near yours as he leaned into the car.

“Buckled in…”

Now you were sure your panties were soaked.

Chris allowed his mind to go places, like your pussy, which he was sure was sweet, wet, hot and…

“….Tight.”

Chris gulped, trying not to drool all over you, although he would love to spit in your mouth and make you swallow as he fucked you raw.

“Danke.”

You whispered behind a breathy moan. You wanted not only to ride in this man’s car. You wanted to ride this man in his car.

Your eyes flickered down to his jeans and that’s when Chris realized that he had a raging hard on. He quickly put his hand in his pocket, trying to play it off, flashed a smile and closed the door quickly.

You giggled at how huge what you thought you saw was. You fanned yourself while you waited for him to get in trying to remember your decorum.

Chris stood outside the back of the car for a minute, trying to catch his breath and think. He had to be at least 15 year older than you, he just met you, and you didn’t speak English. None of this made sense.

He was going to drop you off at campus and try to be at the game for the second inning. And act his age.

Christopher got back in the car, much more formal, and started driving.

He looked over to see your legs open and started to wonder how easy it would be to reach over and under your skirt, pull your panties to the side, if you were wearing any, and…

Chris cleared his throat and focused on the road.

You could tell the air had changed. He was different. You wondered what happened.

You looked at his profile and decided that he was turned off by you being so forward. You decided to straighten up, so you did so, literally and figuratively.

You sat up straight and crossed your legs, like prim and proper young ladies do.

The curve of your spine and the crossing of your legs made Chris irrationally angry. It was like you were closing yourself off to him. Then he remembered.

You didn’t know each other.

You pointed out where to go as you neared your apartment. Chris pulled up in front of your unit and you both started talking.

“Danke, Christopher.”

“Hey, Maëlle…”

You both chuckled. Chris continued.

“Let me send you that photo. What’s your number?” He was fiddling with his phone. Then handed it to you. “Type it in for me.”

You grinned wide and his sly smile answered you. Now you understood. You entered your number and handed it back to him, your fingers sparking as you touched.

You were breathless.

“Well…”

“Christopher…”

You two interrupted each other again.

This time you continued.

“Thank you.”

You leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Chris closed his eyes. Your lips felt as soft as he imagined. He wanted to do the whole turn his head trick but he wasn’t 23 anymore. But you sure made him feel like it.

He did turn to look at you as you got out of the car and waved after you closed it. You swung your bag in one hand as you walked toward the building, also swinging your hips, watching him as he drove away.

Chris watched you too, as far as he could in the rearview. When you disappeared from sight, he said, “Fuck it,” did a uturn and peeled rubber back to your apartments. He rolled down the window.

“Maëlle! Maëlle!” You stopped just before you reached your door. Chris grinned at you. “You ever been to an American baseball game before?”

You skipped back down the walk happily, grinning back as you leaned in the open window. You cocked your head in that way.

“No, but I like playing wit the balls.”

Chris groaned. He couldn’t tell if you were talking about sports or something else. But he’d figure it out later. You climbed in the car, winked at him and crossed your legs.

Chris licked his lips as he drove back toward Fenway Park, thinking about how he would teach you about keeping your legs open that night.

——

Hope it’s okay Nonnie! ❤️

@olyvoyl @summerofsnowflakes @sillyteecup @riiyy @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @theselilwonders @lonelydance @chattykathysquietsister @anh1020 @nissameta1782 @betterkeepmewetterthanabayou @jbrizzywrites @stilltoyou @donutloverxo @wallowsgirl14 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @kiwisa @food8me @aiikaa @marvelfansworld @justanormalfangirlsworld @lost-in-a-state-of-mind @london-grunge @pheebsyells @douxtille @thesecretlifeofdaydreams @ximaginex @jdmacca92 @fofisstilinski @dyapraxicwhore @bertieandberries @ladystrawberry @bit-of-a-timelord @aaronhotchiee @calimoi @fangirlfree @bbaengtan @karolsboo @aliceforbes @insertpithyusername @sickknik @photmath @whorekneebrain @mostannoyingbillioner @anacravalho @iconicshit @spicybibimbap @chaoticsteverogers @txtsfromyourex @sadthotsonlylove @assoftheamericana @ikatieebabyy @nerdymugsharkempath @crossfitjesusinblackskinnyjean @maroonsunrise83

[collisiondiscourse]

on the wonder duo (part 1)

(BNHA Analysis Post Ahead! This isn’t explicitly romantic, but it is an analysis of the relationship between the two most popular characters in BNHA--Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya. Split into two posts because I realized that this was gonna be long as HELL)

yall ever think about the fact that the wonder duo is perfectly set up in so that bakugou and deku together are the better version of all might?

bc like. ive been thinking.

everyone knows the win to save and save to win parallel. How they are supposedly two halves of a whole perfect hero (which, previously, was defined as all might)

but ever since bakugou and deku started working as one—growing together to win AND save and continuously reminding each other that they shouldnt try to do things alone, ive realized that its BECAUSE theres two of them that they surpass all might. its not a case of deku and bakugou both being 50% of an ideal hero, but rather i think that they are 100% of what all might SHOULD HAVE BEEN from the very beginning.

as early as the AM v AFO battle in kamino, we see the effects of all mights flawed existence. the fact that he, the greatest and supposedly infallible symbol of peace, was destroyed—society had begun to collapse. there was suddenly no pillar to hold people together and the impacts were so severe that even in the latest chapters of mha it keeps on getting worse. the truth is, all mights biggest mistake was the burden he placed on his own shoulders

with bakugou and deku... its different.

its different for them because down to their attributions, they seem like two halves of a whole person.

i think that the wonder duo are going to surpass all might because of the fact that they work together.

@bakugoukatsuki-rising @svpercraigus @tybee​ @isaustraliaathing​

(batshit crazy and conspiratorial essay under the cut !)

1. Complementary Colors

I’d like to first preface literally everything I say by the fact that I am not an expert analyzer or literary major in any way. I am literally just some random fan on the internet who has wayyy too much time and looks wayyy too deep into things, but here we go!

A common thing we see when we talk about bakugou and deku is the way they are... sort of an inverse of one another.

Down to the design of their features and the way they move, Deku is the obviously softer of the two. There’s an intentional contrast between the two of them, in the way that Deku’s drawn with round shapes and curvy hair and the way Bakugou is literally all spikes and half-mast eyes and rough muscles. Bakugou’s movements too are languid and showy, with the way he leans when he walks and splays his legs and kicks open doors. Katsuki, in a casual sense, is loud and dramatic. 

Deku on the other hand s finicky. He jitters when he walks and he’s often fidgeting and mumbling. Comparatively, the aura he radiates is energetic and frenzied, even self-conscious to a point unlike Bakugou’s calm and confident movements.

the point is, there’s a clear difference in how either of them are designed and what exactly they are supposed to represent. They utterly complement each other down to the way they behave and even their main colors (red-orange and blue-green) being literal complementary colors.

Now, moving to my more ungrounded points, this is quite a bit of a stretch so I’ll try as much as possible to make sense of these with hyperlinked sources because. yeah.

Down to their names, I think Deku and Bakugou both symbolize something deeper. I think that the way Hori expresses characters and what they’re meant to do is something that we have to pay close attention to when we talk about the Wonder Duo’s rise to success.

Izuku Midoriya (緑谷 出久), as some of us may know, does have an interesting meaning when broken up. According to a lovely fan translation of his name, ‘Izuku’--while not an actual name used commonly in real life--means to ‘Come out’ or ‘Long time’. ‘Midoriya’ on the other hand means (Midori) ‘Green’ and (ya) ‘valley’. The translator further pointed out that his first name ‘Izuku’ could be a reference to him being the first legendary hero to come out of the long-running All Might Era. (or, if you’ve been reading @/bakugoukatsuki-rising’s posts, the first significant anime protag in a long while to come out as queer, ppfft)

but that isn’t my focus right now.

We know that Hori LOVES telling stories with names, and more often than not in the BNHA universe, names alone tell us a lot of things about the characters. When referring to Izuku’s last name, Midoriya, it’s important I think to step back and realize that hey, maybe there’s something more to Green Valley than just the fact that his motif is all green.

After searching for a lil on the specifics of green valley, I’ve found out that across many cultures, the colour green and valleys in general tend to represent life. From dream analysts, to Christianity, and even old Taoist teachings, valleys are seen as areas of fertility and escape. They are seen as safe havens and often escapes for people to come to after running away from bad circumstances.

(Sound familiar?)

Deku, in essence represents life and peace. He represents being the “salvation” that the world in BNHA needed. To me, it sounds like Horikoshi is trying to say that he is the long-awaited hero in the sense. The one that people can feel will create a society that feels safe for everyone after years of All Might just saving people from themselves as a band-aid solution.

On the other hand, we have Katsuki Bakugou (爆豪 勝己), who’s name we commonly know means (Katsuki) Winner and (Bakugou) Explosion Master. He is essentially, the champion. The power. His name means success and power and all the things that make up winning.

When putting them side by side, it then becomes increasingly... interesting to me how their names almost perfectly slot into All Might’s save to win and win to save mantra, and how they are both quintessential parts to what made All Might as a hero.

2. Hero Too!

Now, I’m not even gonna really TOUCH much of what happens in canon. If you want me to do a step by step breakdown of their arcs in regards to the plot of manga and anime, feel free to send me a gratuitous ko-fi tip so I can pay for the headache I get after trying to organize my thoughts into word vomit.

What I WILL talk about on the other hand, is the subtle shift both of them slowly have in regards to how they look. Bakugou and Deku, while growing up, seem to have MANY many parallels--but before I elaborate on all of that, I wanna talk about something else.

Detour: Deku’s Red Shoes 

We all know the iconic symbol being Deku’s red shoes. For all his life, save for some outfits like his hero one, we see Deku more often than not wearing his signature red sneakers which have become a running joke in fandom.

But the funny thing is, in Japan, red shoes seem to have an interesting connotation.

In 1922, a popular Japanese nursery rhyme was written, called “Red Shoes”. The interesting part to me about this song was the symbolism that, in my tiny pea-sized brain, I could connect to the story of BNHA.

The story goes that there was a little girl with red shoes named ‘Kimi’. She was from Shizuoka prefecture (which, if you didn’t know, is most likely where Musutafu supposedly is) and was raised by a single mother. When she was young, her mother had to entrust her with a foreigner under the impression that they would give her a better life in America. The stranger is a man named Charles Hewitt (who was described to have blue eyes) and supposedly took her away. 

The singer of the song (supposedly the mother, but some argue it was written from the perspective of a childhood friend) believes that Kimi is happy and living a better life away from them, when the reality of the situation was much worse. The young girl with red shoes in actuality had Tuberculosis, and thus the foreigner whom she was entrusted to had left her to fend for herself and eventually left her to go to America while she died alone and orphaned.

“When I see red shoes, I think of her.”

A very interesting story with very interesting implications indeed.

-

Anyway, moving on to the more... “nuanced” and connected parts of this section, I have every reason to believe that Bakugou and Deku were simply MEANT to be working together down to how they dress. Now, I’d like to discuss their hero costumes.

At the start of their series, using these godawful pics for reference, it’s clear to see that neither of them seem alike in any way--reflecting the dissonance in their relationship at that point in canon.

ough. deku why. (yes we know why its because you love your mom you stupid little bunny <3)

Anyway, we see an immediate gap in how the two of them are. Deku’s first costume is one that reflects how he treated his dream of being a hero. He was still in that childlike idolization phase, the one where his dreams and aspirations were hinged on pure feelings and inspiration from All Might. Katsuki on the other hand was a lot more tactical--professional to an extent. The gap between their respective development with their quirks is something that is clearly felt in every fashion decision they’d made.

(Notice how Deku’s green is a lot brighter and less like the green accents Katsuki has all over his costume.)

As time progressed however... their costumes changed. The colors, the silhouettes, the practical functions, most things.

(Deku’s Gamma Costume and Bakugou’s Winter Costume used respectively)

we begin to notice a few similarities.

As the show goes on and we see more evolutions of their costumes, it almost seems like they begin to look like a matching pair. Deku’s green grows darker and almost teal in nature, while Bakugou’s orange is veering towards red territory. This is important to note because red-orange and blue-green as I said earlier were complementary colors as compared to simply orange and green. The minute shift is something I really wasn’t quite sure was intentional, but something I find interesting to pick up nonetheless as the colors they used to accent their costumes begin to match up.

Secondly, I think and important thing to note is silhouettes. The way that both Bakugou and Deku’s costumes are designed follow a lot of parallels that typically we don’t see with the rest of 1-A. For one, they both have a combination of tight long-sleeved tops with a bulkier set of bottoms. They also share the use of utility belts and metal pieces typically worn around their necks. Deku has his bunny-eared hood that mimics All Might’s hair, while Bakugou has his orange and black explosion ear-pieces that mimic his own quirk.

i don’t think any other people in class 1-A match each other as subtly yet strongly as these two. Uraraka and Deku and Bakugou and Kirishima do come close however.

“But Codi, you fucking knob!” I hear you plea. “This is such a reach and tells us practically NOTHING!” And yes, I’m inclined to agree with you! You’d be sort of right in the idea that this is a reach. Maybe I am looking too much into this, and maybe it really isn’t that deep--but I do think that them subconsciously matching outfits means something quite brilliant.

In the way that their costumes are designed, each aspect of either outfits have a very logical explanation. The changes were strategic and made with their fighting styles vividly in mind, so what that tells me is that BECAUSE these costumes are so complementary or similar in nature (Bakugou’s reinforcing his arms while Deku reinforces his legs), these two are implicitly showing the audience that their combat styles are complementary as well. 

The evolution of their design choices and similarities tell us that even unknowingly, their minds line up in strategy on the battlefield--a clear exhibit for why they would be INCREDIBLY POWERFUL as a Hero Duo to begin with.

When I look at their hero costumes side by side, I see a mirror. I see the way that these two are reflections of each other and are strong where the other isn’t. The point I see in BNHA repeatedly is that EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS. Nothing is infallible, regardless of how hard you train or how powerful your quirk is. Everyone will always have a weakness, but the significant difference I see when fandom discusses the future of Pro-Hero Society is that the new generation is finally raising itself to be RELIANT on each other. 

Observing their fighting styles and the simple use of their quirks, its obvious that they are indeed two parts of a whole hero. Bakugou, who’s quirk emphasized his arms and hands and the power that comes from it, while Deku who’s quirk now emphasizes his legs and lower body and the way he’s always running to save people.

IN CONCLUSION:

As they become heroes, it is easy to assume that if nothing else, Bakugou and Deku will cover each other’s weak spots (especially when you consider the way Deku probably won’t be able to keep using his arms with the way both the anime and manga are going...) (also chapter 285, anyone?)

-

Part Two: Interactions, OfA

kofi || commission details

[crashdevlin]

Another Second Chance 18- Therapy

Another Second Chance Masterlist, Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist

Author’s Note: The final (hopefully) installment of the Happily Ever Eventually RPF series.

Summary: Y/n finds herself a new house and Misha is determined to make it a huge project.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word count: 2993

Story Warnings: past cheating, mentions of FFM threesome, not much in this one

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s pretty, right?” I ask, looking around the open concept of the first floor of this $350,000 house.

“Kitchen’s kinda outdated,” Jensen says, pointing at the fridge. “I mean, that fridge has gotta be from when you were in high school.”

“I could buy new appliances, Jay. Get a natural gas stove set up. Install some cabinet pulls, because I’m not a really big fan of this whole lack of elements.” I gesture at the cabinets. “Probably stain it a little darker to go against the flooring. But it’s pretty, right?”

Jay smiles. “Yeah. It’s pretty...and it’s about twice as big as the one you’ve been living in. Which is what you need.”

“Yeah. Walk-in closet in the master, too. It’ll be a good place to put the security hub.”

“Or you could put the security hub in the closet in the den and put your clothes in the master closet,” Jay suggests, grumpy old man in his tone. "And if you're gonna update the kitchen, you gotta update the bathrooms. Get one of those-"

"I am not getting an automatic toilet!" I laugh. "No one needs that!"

"Of course no one needs it but it's freakin' awesome!"

"Okay, Dean," I tease.

"Dean would agree with me. Automatic toilet, with the bidet and the-"

"Dean Winchester would break an automatic toilet and then complain that it's a damn computer which means he can't fix it without help."

Jay laughs. "He'd still think it was cool."

"He'd be down for the heated seat. I will give you that much."

He smiles as he looks around. "So...are we looking at your new digs or what?"

I bite my bottom lip and run my hand over the granite countertop. “Shouldn’t I ask Nova's opinion? It's gonna be her home, too."

"She's a teenager. As long as she's got her own room, I'm sure she's gonna be fine." He sets his hands on my shoulders and smiles. "But you can show her pictures or bring her by before you sit down with the realtor."

I nod and smile. "It's in the right school district and a bigger room for her and for Mav and the bonus room can be an office. I really think it's the place."

"Then get it," he encourages. "Get it, Baby Girl. We can make it perfect. I'm no stranger to a little reno."

"Please," I start, laughing. "A contractor did the work on your old place. Shush."

He looks a little offended. "I helped. I painted. I installed the sink in the half bath off the kitchen."

"Fine. You can stain these cabinets for me." I wink and step away from him. I'm gonna get this house. "Come on." I walk to the foyer where the realtor is waiting and I smile at him. "Can I put in an offer now or should I wait a few hours?" He smiles brighter than the sun.

"You can make an offer anytime, Miss."

Miss. Still young enough to get 'miss'. "Good. Let's do this."

~~~~~~~~~

"Four bedroom, 2 and a half bath, 3200 square feet with an office next to the master bed. It needs some updating and work...had a contractor quote me $60,000 but that's not bad...covers new appliances, too."

"I could come down and help," Misha offers. "You know, a lot of that stuff you can DIY and I can help with most of it."

"You don't have to do that, Meesh."

"Why would I let you spend that much money on something I could help you with for a fraction of the cost?"

"Misha, you really don’t-"

"I'm not letting you tell me 'no' on this. We'll get together some manpower and get this done for you."

He's really not going to let me say 'no'. "Okay. Well, it's going to be several weeks before the paperwork is finished and all that. I'll let you know when it's mine."

"Good. I'll start looking at HGTV.com." Damn it, Misha. Don't be so extra. "And send me pictures and a floorplan so I know what I'm working with."

"Yeah, okay." Really no point in arguing. It's Misha. If I don't send him pics and a copy of the floorplan, he'll just find the house and get them himself off the internet. "I'll send it to you after my appointment tomorrow, okay?"

"Sounds good. Talk to you then."

"Bye, Meesh." I hang up and sigh. He's gonna make it this whole thing, isn't he?

His house in Washington did come out amazing, though, so he does have some skills that will help in this. Eh, why not? Why not get together with my best friend and make my new home my own?

"So, I get to see this house eventually, right?" Nova says, walking into the living room.

I smile. "Come see all these pretty pictures I took and we can speculate on what craziness Misha is gonna come up with." I pat the couch next to me and she comes over. "This is the view from the street." I start showing her the pictures and she claims a room before I've even finished the digital tour.

"Oh, and you're gonna paint the exterior, right? Like, it's pretty but it's yellow. You're gonna fix that, right?"

"Oh, I'm sure Misha isn't going to let me move into another drab house. You weren’t here the first time he showed up at this house but he had opinions about all of it. I didn't let him talk me into reno last time but this time...I don’t know...maybe this will be the forever home so…"

"It's gotta be custom!" Nova exclaims.

"Exactly."

"Can I paint my walls custom? Or get custom wallpaper done? I know that a lot of people don't like wallpaper but I've seen a few places that got it right and-"

"Yeah, baby, of course. We'll figure out something awesome for your walls." I kiss her forehead. We'll do whatever she wants for her room.

"Yay!"

I love when she's happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a while since I've been in Dr. McCauliffe's office. Life has been in the way...and I guess I didn’t want her to judge me for my involvement with Jensen...which is ridiculous because she's my therapist. She's not going to judge me.

"So." She taps her pen against her clipboard. "What's new?"

"Well...I have been dating Jensen again. I know you saw that in the news."

"I saw it on Mr. Collins' Instagram, actually," she says with a smile.

"Right. The video. Forgot about it for a minute. Um, yeah, like I said in the video and Jensen said in his...spark's still there, we're giving it another chance."

"How's that feel?"

I bite my bottom lip. "Scary as Hell, honestly. I mean, but it's good. I've done pretty good with boundaries and moving slowly. You know, before...we jumped in head first and everything was this intense passion right out of the gate but this time…" I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe we've grown up, or grown old, but…"

"Have you slept with him?" she asks and it's because she knows that sex was a big issue when I was with him before. Sex was all we were supposed to be in the beginning and sex ruined us in the end. I know why she's asking but there's this...well, it's a bit intrusive, isn't it? It seems like she's judging me for being sexually active and I know that's not what it is but my whole spine goes tense when she asks.

"Yes. We dated for about a month before we started getting physical again."

“And how has that been? I don’t need details, of course, but...emotionally, how has it been to be intimate with Jensen again?”

How to answer that?

Really, how am I supposed to answer that? It’s the best sex I’ve ever had, emotionally fullfilling in a romance-novel sort of way. It’s perfect but it does have its scary moments. “Well, we’ve only actually...slept together a couple times this time. His libido is a lot less than it was. I mean, he didn’t have sex the entire time we were broken up, can you believe that?”

Dr. McCauliffe adjusts her glasses and shrugs a little. “I do not. Five years is a long time to go without sex...but you seem to believe it. That’s what matters.”

I never even questioned it. Should I have? No, because he’s been so honest about everything else. “I went years and years without sex after Nate. I believe Jensen did the same after me. He had a lot going on. He was in recovery for alcoholism. He had to be a good father and work on his career and-”

“You just got very defensive, very quickly. Why is that?”

Fuck, I don’t know. I run my hand over my mouth and shrug. “I don’t know,” I respond honestly.

“Analyze it, Y/n. Why would you get so defensive over my disbelief in what Jensen told you?”

“Because I didn’t question it,” I answer after a moment. “Because he told me that the last time he had sex, real full-penetrative sex, was the time that broke us and I didn’t really question it. I took it at face value because we’ve been doing very good about honesty with each other and what if that’s stupid? What if I’m stupid because maybe he’s lying about it and keeping stuff from me and-”

“You said he’s been very good about honesty so far, right?”

I nod. “Yeah. He’s...he admitted to stuff that I never thought he’d admit to and he apologized for stuff and he’s been open about what happened and why. He’s even been honest about little things that he would have lied about before...like I told him about Will and he Googled him. Used to be, he’d keep that kind of thing to himself, never tell me, but he admitted it without even prompting.” I chew on my bottom lip as she starts scribbling on her notes. “I believe him. It might be stupid but I believe him.”

She sets her clipboard in her lap and smiles at me. “It’s not stupid...and he’s likely changed enough that honesty is important to him. You’ve told me that his recovery has changed him. Jared’s told me the same. Now, it’s a bit hard for me to believe that he’s changed so much in the last five years that he would have abstained from sex since the last time he was with you, but...I don’t know the man, do I? You do. Jared does. If you believe him, then don’t let me change your mind.”

“I believe him. You didn’t see the way he looked at me the first time we...‘Reverent’ is the best word for it.”

“What do you think that means for you?”

I scoot back, leaning against the back of the couch. “I think he’s finally got Danneel out of his head.”

“Do you?” she asks and I hate when she asks things I don’t want to answer. “Danneel was a major roadblock in your relationship before, wasn’t she?”

“You know she was. I was so focused on giving Jensen what he wanted...Danneel...that I couldn’t see that I was what he was supposed to be wanting. I wanted to be like her, couldn’t appreciate myself. I know this stuff, Doctor.” I shift on the couch and sigh. “I don’t wanna be Danneel and I don’t want Jensen to be with her. I want Jensen to be with me...I want him to want to be with only me.” I shrug. “Seems like that’s where we are. He doesn’t even talk to her anymore. I talked to her the other day and she didn’t even know why he doesn’t talk to her anymore.”

“You talked to Danneel again?”

“Yeah. We ran into each other at a shop while I was getting Nova a new dress. It...didn’t go well. Nova was very combative with Danneel. I ended up having to...be very honest with my daughter. She knows about everything now...even the night with Danneel.”

“Oh? How’d that talk go?”

“It was...it was good to get it off my chest, actually. It was like the conversation where I told her about, about why her father and I got divorced. It’s like...It was a hard conversation but it was an important one. I don’t have to...hide things anymore and that’s a blessing. She understands why I make the decisions I make now...she understands...the betrayal was a lot deeper than she even knew. She understands that now and...maybe it’ll make us closer, but at least she knows the truth now.”

“And she’s living with you now, right?” I nod. “How did that happen? Nathan doesn’t seem the type to just allow her to do what she wants.”

I snort. “He’s definitely not, but...he fucked up with Jenny, blew up his marriage. I’m actually surprised it took her this long to realize that he was cheating on her, but whatever. Um...Nova didn’t want to be there for the destruction of his way of life and she asked if she could come to Texas. I convinced him to let her come because she didn’t need to see the parade of his affairs that Jenny would bring up. I then used those women to convince him not to fight me on custody when I refiled. It was…” I scratch at my cheek. “It was a low move, but it’s exactly the kind of move he pulled on me, convincing the judge that I was too unstable to care for her. I don’t feel bad about it, especially since she wants to be here.”

“That’s a big change...on top of other big changes.”

“Yep...and there’s more coming. Because I need more room since Nova is living with me, there will be a new home in my future."

"A new home? That's exciting."

"It is. And I am more excited about it than I am scared so that says something."

"I remember how anxious you were about your first house. I remember all the security options you went through."

"Well, security had to be heavy. I had to think about Tom and his crazy-ass fans and the crazier of Jensen’s fans and the paps. There was that one photographer in Vancouver that climbed the balcony outside the condo to get pics of me and Jay, remember?" I shiver at the memory of looking out the French doors to see a man with his camera, snapping away. So intrusive. "I'm gonna have to put up a privacy fence and a coded gate at the new place, too...and, of course, all the security cameras."

"Sounds like a big project."

"Yeah. Definitely. Not even half of it, though. Misha wants to DIY everything."

"Misha isn't your husband, Y/n," Dr. McCauliffe reminds me and I laugh.

"I think he forgets that sometimes. But there's not a lot of use in arguing with him. He's...well, he's right a lot. Like, most of the time, I mean. So, I always cave to him."

"Do you want to do a big DIY project at this new house?"

"Not at first, I didn't but...I dunno. Might be fun. I've never gotten to do that kind of project and knowing Misha, he's gonna make it fun even if it is hard work."

"Well, as long as you can maintain your work as well as this project. How is that coming along?"

"Really good, actually. We started shooting not too long ago...and I hadn't even considered that this project might be detrimental to Midsummer. I'll have to make sure that Misha knows that Midsummer comes first."

"Well, it seems like you've got things under control."

"Yeah? I was afraid you'd tell me I was...going too fast or…"

"Do you think that? You were telling me that you'd done well with boundaries and keeping things-"

"Well, I have! I mean, Jensen was talking about moving in together already and I shut that down and decided to get a bigger place...my own bigger place."

"Jensen wanted to move in with you?" She writes down something on her notes. "And you said 'no'?"

"I said 'no'," I confirm. "I was really proud of myself, Doc. Nova was proud of me, too, actually. Which was...it was interesting and new. I don’t know that she's ever been proud of me for anything and I know that it's supposed to be the other way, where I'm proud of her and I am, of course but Nova being proud of me setting these boundaries and sticking to them...it gives me hope that she'll be able to do the same in her own life, you know?"

"There's nothing wrong with feeling happy that you made your daughter proud and there's nothing wrong with hoping she's going to make different mistakes than you. She's going to do well in life if you keep making the best choices for the both of you." She sets her clipboard on her desk and smiles. "I'm proud of you, too, by the way. Six years ago, you would have jumped at living with Jensen."

"Six years ago, I did."

We finish out our session with a promise to not go so long without seeing her next time. "Mental health is about the maintenance," she reminds me as she opens her office door and walks me to the reception desk. I agree and set an appointment for six weeks out. I call Misha as I start my car, intending to tell him that Midsummer comes before the house project. I haven't even gotten a 'hello' out of my mouth when he speaks.

"I saw the pictures you sent. I have so many ideas!"

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Love brewed

so tumblr had a meltdown and deleted this after I had already queued it so I’m sorry the ask got lost but this is a cute sero confession!

warnings: swearing

word count: 1,300 (bout)

summary:

Sero had fallen in love with you the first time he saw you. He had just moved out of the UA dorms and to his own apartment. He was excited to be out on his own finally and to be a pro making the world a better place. According to Google, there was a coffee shop just a few blocks away and he definitely deserved a nice cup of coffee after unpacking all morning. There was a light drizzle but it wasn’t anything too bad so he pulled his hood up and headed off to Love Brewed Cafe. 

It seemed like he wasn’t the only one who wanted something to drink, the little hole in the wall shop was practically full when he walked in. Sero was just pulling down his hood when you turned to look at him a big welcoming smile on your face. And his heart stopped dead in his chest.

“Welcome! Order whenever you’re ready!” you chirped from behind the counter, leaving him stunned. You were easily the most beautiful person he’d ever seen and he could feel the heat rush to his face. He nodded, not sure he could trust his mouth to do the talking. 

Sero realized he was staring and quickly diverted his eyes up to the menu. He calmed down and instantly he felt stupid for getting so worked up over just some barista, He walked to the counter and he looked back at you. Fuck. 

“Uhm just a large black coffee please,” he stammered. 

“Sure no problem! Can I get a name for that?”

“Sero,”

“Perfect, I’ll call for you when it’s ready go ahead and take a seat, er if you can find one that is,” you laughed. Sero just nodded again, hoping his red blush wasn’t too obvious. 

The cafe was crowded but he managed to find an open table near the window and he immediately pulled out his phone to text Kaminari.

Sero: cute barista a block away from my new place, I’m already planning our future children’s names and I’ve only talked to them once. 

Kaminari: Damn do they have a nice ass?

Sero: they’re behind a counter I can’t tell

Kaminari: damn :/ ask if they’re single and or if they have a cute friend

Sero: I m not going to harass them at work

Kaminari: pussy

“Black coffee for Sero!” you called making him jump, he quickly ran up and got his drink before going back to the small table he staked out. 

He looked down at the cup, at his name written in your cute handwriting, and remembered he didn’t even like black coffee. 

Sero went to Love Brewed every day, it just became part of his routine, He didn’t always see you, but he made the most out of it when he did. It was a lot easier to talk to you after the first day and as it turned out the two of you had a lot in common. 

You were a college student about his age and worked part-time here to help pay for classes. You told him about your quirk about your family about the school, everything, and Sero loved to listen. 

If it wasn’t  busy and you didn’t have anything else to do you would come to sit with him while he drank his coffee, otherwise Sero just leaned against the counter while you talked. 

Every time he got the chance to talk to you Kaminari was the first to know about it, Sero was sure that he was getting sick of hearing about you, and Sero’s refusal to ask you out but Hanta really didn’t mind playing the waiting game. 

“Wait so you’re really a hero? That’s so cool! Why did you never tell me, we have a Hero discount you know?” you asked amazed. Sero Shyly rubbed the back of his neck. 

“It never came up, besides I don’t mind paying full price,” he said with a shrug. You pushed him playfully making him laugh

“I can not believe you let me rant about my dumb professors when you probably have all sort of crazy hero stories!” you shouted. Sero could practically hear Kaminari screaming in his ear to brag, brag like his life depended on it. So he did, He liked watching your eyes go wide as he talked about some of his more dangerous fights. 

“Wow that’s incredible,” you said breathily, 

“Well, if you ever need a hero to do some saving I guess you know who to call,” he teased 

“How am I supposed to do that when I don’t have your number,” you said and again he could hear the Kaminari in his head screaming. 

“We can change that,” he said. You shoved your phone in his face almost before he had a chance to finish. 

“Is it alright if I text you for nonemergencies?” you asked

“Of course,” Sero said a little too quickly. 

“Then I will,” you promised. And you did, later that night he got a text from an unknown number with an image attached. 

Unknown: staying safe hero boy? Also here’s a picture for my profile. 

Then you sent a cute selfie of you sitting on your couch in a big sweater. 

Sero: cute

(y/n): thank you thank you I try

(y/n):  do I not get a selfie back?

Sero: give me a minute it just got out of the shower

(y/n): 👀👀👀

Sero paused for a moment, He could send you a shirtless picture, that’s what Kaminari would do, but that might be too forward, wouldn’t it? There would be no denying it was flirting, it might ruin your friendship.  But that’s what he was doing right? Flirting. Every time he complimented your work uniform or made you laugh it was because he liked you right? Sero went the coward’s way.  

Sero: perv. 

He threw on a shirt and snapped a pic to send back. He still looked good, his hair was wet and hanging in kind of a sexy way and his skin was flushed was kind of hot, so he sent it. 

Sero: for you

(y/n): cute

Sero ended up texting you a lot more than he thought he would, every morning the first thing he did was check his phone to see if you had texted him in the night and if he had a spare moment during patrol he’d send you a picture of him hanging upsidedown from a lamp post and you texted him when you were bored in class. It made his heart pound every time. 

“Just ask her out already,” Kaminari groaned leaning over Sero’s shoulder reading the texts. 

“Fuck off, I’m working on it,” Sero grumbled. 

“What’s holding you back? They’re single, right? Just do it!” Kaminari barked. Before Sero could snap back an alarm went off and both of them were too busy to think much about Sero’s love life. 

What was holding him back anyway? He liked you. A lot. So much in fact that he hadn’t even thought about someone else romantically since the two of you met, and it seemed like you liked him too. At least you were always up to message him and unless he was reading too much into things it seemed that your smile was just a little brighter for him than anyone else. 

Of course, he knew the answer. He was scared. Sero had never been anyone’s first pick why would he be yours? He was used to rejection at this point but that didn’t make it sting any less. He didn’t want to ask you out only to see a sour expression cross your face when he told you that he loved you. But he should still tell you. 

Sero argued back and forth with himself until he decided. He was going to tell you the next time he saw you, no backing out. 

“Hey Hanta!” you greeted cheerfully when you saw him come through the door. You already had his regular ready for him. He smiled and greeted you at the counter paying for his drink and taking the cup. 

“Your shift ends at three today right?” he asked

“Yeah, why?”

“If you’re not doing anything I thought we could go out together and do something fun,” He said trying to sound casual even though his heart was beating out of his chest. 

“I’d love that Hanta,”