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#and all i could think was 'why didnt i actually kill myself last night'
fivestar-outlaw · 6 months
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New Horizons (Park Seonghwa) (Epilogue)
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Epilogue
Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader
Words: 7.0k+
Warning(s): Mentions of reader being anxious/having anxiety, some swears, drinking, i think thats it.
SMUT (18+) WARNINGS: Multiple orgasms, oral (F receiving)/ face sitting, slight cockwarming, birthcontrol used, No condom use, PiV penetration, cowgirl yeehaw
A/N: Fucking- Finally finished the epilog. Grad school is slowly but surely killing me rn. I only had time to write this during the undergrad class im taking for credits iubgouoren. I hope yall enjoy.
Reader is implied to be living in the US bc uh TIMEZONES ARE FUCKY and i didnt realize how reliant i was on mine (PST) when looking up KST
English dialogue is italicized, Korean dialogue is not
Summary: Attempting an all-nighter while playing Animal Crossing alongside your bias, you didn't expect your turnip prices to be such a high amount... nor did you expect Park Seonghwa to actually accept your offer to sell his turnips on your island.
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You sat at your desk, phone set up for a video call with Seonghwa. You felt nervous. Tomorrow is your graduation, where you'll finally be done with this aspect of your life and will be moving onto the next step. Despite the distance, you and Seonghwa were as close as ever. You both missed each other dearly but talked as frequently as possible. 
You were a little sad that he and the rest of Ateez couldn't make it to your graduation, but you understood why. You didn't have much hope when you told Hongjoong the date and he told you he'd ask if they could. You tried to tell him not to ask since you knew they would be busy with an upcoming comeback, but he insisted he'd try. He talked to you the next night saying they had a packed schedule for that week and couldn't. You figured as much but it still made you a little sad.
You hear the tone for the video call and you quickly answer it with a smile. You see Hwa sitting there, but not in his room. You couldn't quite figure out where he was. He seemed to be wearing a loose sweater and a pair of glasses frames.
"Hello, jagiya." Seonghwa smiled sweetly, he seemed tired.
"Hello, love." You respond. "How are you? You seem a little tired."
"The week has been busy."
"Aw, I'm sorry. Are you currently at a schedule?" You tilt your head. You see him look off to the side. You can see that he seems to be hiding something, but you figure it was because he couldn't talk about anything specific related to any of the filmed comeback videos.
"Yeah, we are staying at a hotel. We are going to start filming soon." He sighs. "It was a last minute decision since filming took longer than expected yesterday. I wish I could tell you everything that went wrong but I can't."
"I'm sure it'll go better today, love."
 "Thank you, jagiya. But enough about me, jagiya, how are you? Are you excited for tomorrow?"
"A mix of excited and nervous. Excited to have my degree... nervous for whatever comes next. Nervous about walking across that stage to get that empty diploma case and not having a solid next thing waiting for me." You press your lips together and glance over to your cap and gown hanging in your open closet. The whole ordeal almost seems daunting now. "I've applied for jobs in my field but I haven't heard anything back... I doubt any will get back to me when I am fresh out of university."
"I wish I was there with you, (Y/N)." He looked into the camera with a concerned expression. "You'll exceed at whatever you do. I know you will. You are smart and very determined."
"It's probably just all the nerves." You chuckle weakly.
"Just know myself and the others are cheering for you, even if we can't be there. Which, we are still sorry for by the way."
"Don't worry about it. I'll have my family film my walk across the stage and we will take lots of pictures to send to you all."
"We look forward to it." He smiles. You hear a door opening and what you believe to be Hongjoong's voice. You couldn't make out what he said but you saw Seonghwa nod before hearing the door close. "Sorry, (Y/N), I have to go. We need to get ready for filming today."
"Don't apologize, love. You got this. I'm sure you will do great." You smile and you can just tell some of the stress he was feeling dissipate. 
"I love you, jagiya." He says softly.
"I love you too." There is some hesitancy to hang up but you bit the bullet and pressed the little red button on the call. You sigh, but feel lighter. It was like talking to Hwa helped calm your worries.
---
You stood with your family for a moment before you needed to join the rest of the graduating students. You stood with them in your cap and gown and a nice outfit underneath. You couldn't help but wring your hands together. You weren't necessarily nervous, but you did feel a little anxious from the excitement now. You felt you childhood best friend place their hand on your shoulder and they give you a calm smile.
"It's going to be fine, (Y/N)." They gently squeezed your shoulder. "I doubt you'll trip, so don't worry."
"Well I wasn't worried about tripping until now." You groan. "I'm not nervous. I just... can't stay still."
"Oh (Y/N), it's okay to be nervous." Your mother coos, rubbing small circles into your upper back. "Just think about the surprise we have planned for you."
"Surprise?"
"Hun, you weren't suppose to mention that." Your father chuckles. 
"I thought I told you all I needed was just a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant." You say softly. "I hope you didn't spend too much-"
"Don't worry about it. We wanted to get you something for such a big day." Your father grinned. You were going to argue back but heard the call for graduating students to start getting in place for the ceremony.
"Make sure to film my walk please!" You said and they nodded. Your family and your best friend gives you one last hug before you go to where you were supposed to, while they went off to grab seats.
You take a deep breath as you find your spot in line with the rest of your majors getting the same degree level as you and your roommate, who also was graduating alongside you. You smiled at some of your classmates you were friendly with and chatted with them. You were given a slip of paper with your name on it by one of your professors and you were left to wait for the ceremony to start. 
You felt your phone buzz under your gown. You were glad you picked something to wear underneath with pockets. You manage to get your phone out and you smile. All of Ateez were wishing you well and saying their congrats. San even sent a selfie of them all together, which they said was taken after they finished filming. You were glad they messaged you and made sure to tell them to get some rest since it was around 6am for them.
The line you were in started moving so you quickly put your phone away and started walking with your line. You can hear lots of chatter from other graduating students and could hear the chatter from people in the stands. You and the others stood still until you heard one of the deans call you guys to enter. You hear the crowd cheer as the graduating class enters the area. You tried to pinpoint your family and your best friend but had no luck finding them in the sea of people. You take your seat and wait for the rest of the graduate students to also take their seats as the stereotypical graduation march song plays.
The song ended when everyone was finished sitting down. Next were speeches by the college president, a provosts, and a dean whom you never personally interacted with, and then two professors spoke; one is the chair of your major which made you smile. Next were student speeches, neither person you recognized.
You gulp, watching as the rows ahead of you go up one by one as they were instructed by a professor to do so. There was the constant noise of clapping with each name, followed by a few people loudly cheering for whoever just got called. You clapped along as well, watching each person receive their diploma case from the college president and walk to the side to get their picture taken professionally.
Next thing you knew the people in your row started to stand. You quickly got to your feet and follow along to the stage. You wait, taking small steps as person by person hands over their name slip and walk the stage. You were getting closer and closer to the speakers stand.
Then, it's your turn.
You made conscious steps to the speaker, not wanting to trip. You hand them your name card and wait as the person ahead finished crossing the stage. The speaker smiled and read your name into the microphone. You start walking across stage to the president as the crowd clapped.
You hear loud cheers coming from the stand on the other side of the stage, more than what you were expecting from the three people there seeing you graduate. You finally see your parents and your best friend up on their feet, your dad and friend shouting loudly. But in the row in front of them, you see eight figures also on their feet shouting as loud as they can. Immediately you can tell it is Ateez. Even with face masks, different hats, and inconspicuous clothes, you could tell they were your boys. Plus, you can easily tell Wooyoung and Mingi's voices as they were the loudest and most distinct.
A large smile broke out on your face as you kept your tears at bay. You walked the stage with your head held high. You shook hands with the college president and took hold of the diploma case. You walked to the end of the stage and carefully took the steps down. You got your picture taken and you started walking back to your seat.
You look up at the stand when you heard your name shouted repeatedly by Wooyoung, San, and Seonghwa. Each member of Ateez waved as you walked by and you made sure to wave back. You felt pure happiness in the moment.
---
When the ceremony ended and all the graduates exited the way they walked in, you immediately started making your way outside. Your parents texted saying they were waiting for you by the large oak tree. You weave your way through the sea of students and their families as fast as you could. You could see the top of the tree but you knew the trunk was still some distance away from where the ceremony was held. 
You finally breach the crowd and see your parents, your best friend, and Ateez, along with their manager. They spotted you and called your name. You immediately quickened your pace.
Wooyoung held out his arms for a hug but you passed him and immediately clung to Seonghwa. The tears you held back immediately fell as you hugged him.
"Y-You're here! I can't believe you're here! Hongjoong said you guys were busy. You said you-" You rapidly spoke.
"Slow down, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles. He held you tightly and rubbed your back. 
"Sorry, my love." You sniffle and look to his face. Despite the black mask covering his nose down to his jaw, you can tell he has a big grin on his face. He moves a step back from you, resting his hands on your jaw. The pads of his thumbs swipe away your tears gently. "I'm so happy to see you in person again."
"I'm happy too." He carefully guided you to turn around so he could move back in front of you, his back to the crowd. He pulls down his mask and leans in, his soft lips meet yours in a loving kiss. You couldn't help but smile against his lips as it felt like world around each of you melted away. You both slowly pulled away but kept your faces close. "Congratulations. I am so proud of you, (Y/N)." He whispers and kisses each cheek, making you giggled. 
"Congratulations, (Y/N)!" Wooyoung broke the moment of peace between you both as he pulled you into a big hug. You tilt your head back and laugh, all while there rest of Ateez swarmed you for their own hugs. Your face ached from how much you were smiling.
"Seonghwa contacted us a week after you had us do that video call with him." Your mother started to explain. You remember that day well, feeling nervous for your parents to meet your long distance, idol boyfriend. But they immediately loved him and exchanged contact information; mostly just in case you got in an emergency so they could inform him. Subsequently, of course, your parents met the rest of Ateez. "They wanted to surprise you and here they are."
"Sorry I lied to you, (Y/N)." Hongjoong laughed, his smile telling you he was anything but apologetic. "Yuhno suggested the idea of it being a surprise when I ran into him before I talked it over with our company. So really, blame him."
"Hey, you could of said no, Joong-hyung." Yuhno playfully glared then set his sights on Seonghwa. "Didn't you initiate the call with her parents?"
"Yes, but Sannie and Woo also sat in on the call too." Seonghwa shot back. The group delved into a big, non-serious argument of who is to blame for the lies. You shook your head with a chuckle and went to your parents.
"Thank you for arranging this." You hug them both tightly.
"Of course, (Y/N). We could see how happy you were when we met him and how yourself you were with the rest of the group, so we knew we had to put this together for you somehow." Your father had a big smile on his face, you could see tears in his eyes. "Oh, my child is all grown up..."
"I've been grown up, dad. Don't cry, you're going to make me cry again." You chuckle, feeling that sting of tears again in your eyes. You feel arms wrap around you from behind and you knew immediately it is Seonghwa. "Did you guys settle who's fault it is, love?"
"No, but it seems everyone puts the blame back on Hongjoong." He laughs. He smiles at your parents and gives them a polite bow of his head. The rest of Ateez joined back up with your parents and your best friend. They started discussing dinner plans, you jumping in when needed for translation help.
Your smile doesn't leave your face as you lean back into Seonghwa. You could have just cheap take out with everyone and you'd be happy.
---
You said goodbye to your parents and best friend when everyone arrived back at your apartment after dinner. They wanted to let you have some time alone with Ateez. Your parents managed to reserve a private space at a great restaurant ran by a friend of your mother's. The manager went to buy snacks and drinks for the rest of you guys for tonight at a near by convenience store.
"Wow you have a nice place, (Y/N)." Yeosang compliments as he looks at the various decorations and how you and your roommate placed the minimal furniture.
"Thanks, it was a collaborative effort with my roomie. Which, be as loud as you guys want. She won't be in for a few nights since she'll be staying with her family." You smile and turn go to put leftovers from dinner in the fridge, missing the way everyone looked towards Seonghwa. "How long are you here for?"
"Just the rest of tonight. We fly back early in the morning tomorrow. We may have pulled this off but we still have busy schedules coming up." Jongho answers.
"Sorry we can't stay longer." San sighs with an apologetic smile.
"No worries, I'm happy you guys made it for today." You grin and move to sit next to Hwa on the couch, immediately leaning against him. "So I take it you guys flew in last night? Is that why you were actually in a hotel, love?"
He chuckles and nods, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. His fingers gently traced patterns on your arm. "I'm glad we got to witness this."
"Of course, I'd do the same for you guys."
"Well, if you would..." Mingi smiles as he walks in front of you, holding out several small pieces of paper for you. You gingerly take them, and look at everyone with confusion and curiosity as they surrounded the couch. Wooyoung took his spot next to you and rested his chin on your shoulder, aka, on Seonghwa's hand.
"Oh my God." You gasp as you look at each paper. They chuckled at your shock. There were several plane tickets; one to South Korea, a round trip ticket to Japan and then back to Korea, and then one back home. The next paper was a pass for the waterbomb festival coming up.
"We will email you the actual virtual tickets soon." Wooyoung said with a big grin.
"A graduation present from us and our manager." Seonghwa kissed your temple.
"This had to be so expensive..."
"Don't worry about it at all. We didn't have to pay for the waterbomb ticket and we all chipped in for the flights." Yuhno said softly from behind the couch. You felt his hand pat the top of your head a few times. There was a knock at the door and the tallest went to open the door for their manager,  who came in with two, black plastic bags and one backpack. You quickly got up to your feet and approached him with a smile.
"Thank you for all you have done."
"I should thank you for helping me keep them in line." He chuckles and hands you the plastic bags. He walks over to the couch and sets the backpack at Seonghwa's feet. "Remember, we have a flight back to Korea tomorrow. Don't drink too much. (Y/N), drink all you want."
Some time passed and everyone was lounging around in the living room of your apartment. Mingi, San, and Wooyoung took over the couch. Jongho, Yuhno, Yeosang, and their manager sat in chairs from the small kitchen table. You, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong were sitting on the floor, all while everyone watched a trashy, American reality show. You were sitting between Hwa's legs with your back against his chest while he rested against San's legs.
You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You fish it out and unlock it, seeing it was an email notification. You tapped the notification, though you didn't read what it was for, figuring it was a promotional thing or something. You looked up at the tv screen for a moment before taking a moment to read over the contents of the email.
Your eyes slowly widened with each line you read. You felt your heart flutter as you sit up straight. You felt Seonghwa's hands on your hips and he had a curious look on his face.
"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" He asks softly, trying not to draw everyones attention. He leans forward and you can feel his chest on your back again, his chin on your shoulder. You raise your phone screen up so he can have an easier time reading the email. You turn your head just enough to see his expression turn to one of shock. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tight as a big smile broke out on his face. "Does... Does this mean...?"
"What's happening?" Sannie asked from the couch. He leaned forward as well and you pass him your phone. You can practically feel the excitement oozing from Seonghwa. San suddenly stood up, knocking into the eldest's back. He had a huge grin, his dimple prominent on his face. 
Wooyoung snatched your phone from San and you watched as his eyes scan over the screen. He then looks up at you with a big smile. "No way!"
"Care to share with the rest of us?" Mingi asked while Yeosang muted the channel. 
"Well-" San started to speak but then clasps his own hand over his mouth for a moment. He hands you back your phone and sits back down. He eagerly gestures for you to speak. You feel Hwa's hands gently squeeze your hips.
"A job I applied for contacted me and told me they were looking for fresh faces and say they see potential with my resume, my CV, and from my letters of recommendation." You beamed and everyone looked excited for you. A sea of congratulations soon followed. You kept your beaming expression and you see Hongjoong look at you.
"There is more, isn't there?" He asked, a smile growing on his face.
"The job is located in Seoul. And they are allowing me to start towards the end of the year to give me time to get my legal documents situated and to move." 
There was a moment of silence.
Then, your apartment became chaos with pure excitement. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and San already pledged themselves to help you find a place in your upcoming visit. Mingi and Yuhno express excitement for the prospect of staying over at your new place. Yeosang, Jongho, and Hongjoong already start to make plans for when you start living there. Everyone decides to have one more drink to celebrate, their manager unable to say no to such an occasion.
---
You give each member a hug as they are about to leave for the night, saying your goodbyes. You move to hug Seonghwa but he sidesteps you and moves to stand behind you. You give him a confused look while the others chuckle.
"I'm staying with you tonight, jagiya." He pecked your cheek. The others say goodnight, their manager telling him to be read by 7am, and they all quickly leave. Now, it's just you and Seonghwa. 
"That's why he brought a backpack for you." You laugh and turn to face him. You place your hands on the back of his neck and raise a brow. "You've been nothing but surprises today. I really do appreciate it." 
"Of course. I'd do just about anything for you." He smiles sweetly and leans in to kiss you. Unlike the other kisses you two shared today, this one was longer and more passionate. You can feel his lips move against yours as he swipes his tongue along your bottom lip. You smile against the kiss. Before you could part your lips, he pulls away with a flirtatious look. 
"I love you, love." He smiles at your words. He lifts his hand up and gently traces his fingers down the side of your face, sending shivers down your spine. His arms wrap around your body and he keeps you pressed against him.
"I love you too, jagiya." He brings you into another intense kiss, his tongue invading your mouth this time. You feel his fingers curl in against your back, all while your hands find themselves in his hair. He breaks the kiss once more but rests his forehead against yours. "Would you like to celebrate a little more? We don't have to go further than this-"
"I would love to." You grin. You move from Seonghwa's grasp and take his hand, pulling him to your bedroom.
The second you closed the door, Hwa is already guiding you to your bed. He lays you down on your back while he crawls over you, his lips pressed against yours. His hands grip your hips before he starts to slide them under your shirt. He shifts his leg, placing it between your thighs. His knee is just barely brushes against your core. His hands start to gently kneed your breasts over your bra.
Seonghwa starts to trail tender kisses down from your mouth to your neck. You smile at the affection and you place a kiss of your own on the top of his head. He smirked against your neck as he gently bites your skin. You feel him shift his leg that was between your legs, applying a small amount of pressure against your cunt. You let out a soft noise from the sensation and you can feel yourself growing wetter and wetter.
You move one your hands down to the growing bulge in his pants. Seonghwa chuckled and sat up, taking your hand off him.
"Tonight is all about you, jagiya." He smiled softly. He took hold of both your wrists in his hand and held them above your head. "Let me worship you."
You felt a pleasant shiver down your spine again and you nod. Hwa let go of your hands and began kissing your neck again. This time his kisses and bites to your neck were more intense. You knew for sure you would have a couple of marks there. He released his hold on your wrists but you kept your arms about head. Your body is completely at his mercy and that had you excited.
You felt him press his leg against your aching core again and this time you rolled your hips to seek pleasure, causing yourself to moan.
"Good, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles as he moves his face by your ear. You feel his lips brush against your ear before he gently nips it. He sat up and helped you up as well.
He hums softly, tracing his nose along your face before he kisses you again. He gently nibbles your bottom lip and stares deeply into your eyes. Hwa licks his lips as he leans down and scans your body with his eyes. You feel his hand take hold of your shirt and slowly lift it up and off your body. His fingers nimbly unclasps your bra and he tosses it off your body. 
Seonghwa's hands caress and gently squeeze your breasts, the pads of his thumbs were on your nipples as he rubbed small circles with them.  He hummed with a smile. "I missed these."
You chuckle softly. "You missed my boobs?"
"Yes." He moves himself so his face his close to them. "I missed all off you, (Y/N). I missed your face, your touch, your taste... I missed seeing your smile in person, I missed hearing your laugh right beside me. I miss you."
"I miss you too Hwa." You give his cheek a tender peck. You bite your bottom lip as his hands still kneaded your breasts and his thumbs applied some pressure. "Luckily I got that job. I'll be a lot closer to you by next year."
"Still feels so far away." He whispers and starts kissing your chest. He bites the skin and sucks, doing this until he reached your nipples. His mouth encompasses the pebbled skin. You bring one of your hands up to his head and combed your fingers through his hair. He sucks and gently nibbles, his tongue rolling over your perked bud. He does this to both nipples for a few moments before pulling away, a line of saliva briefly hangs between his lips and your skin. "I want to try something, jagiya." 
"What do you want to try, love?"
"Would you want to sit on my face and let me pleasure you?" His question makes your face flush with heat. 
"You'd want to do that? Are-Are you sure you want me to sit on your face?" You can feel yourself getting more wet by the second.
"Of course." He smiles sweetly. He sits up straight so he can meet your eyes easily, his hands slide down and gently hold onto your hips. "Like I said, jagiya, I missed your taste and I think you will look breathtaking doing so... Do you want to try this out with me?"
"Then... I would like to." You bite your bottom lip and smile. His face broke out in a grin and he helped you off your lap. He moves to lay down as you slip off your pants and underwear. You move yourself up the bed near his head and carefully placed your leg on the other side of his head. His hands slid up from behind your thighs and your ass to hold your hips. You hovered over his face, looking down at him between your legs. You were a bit hesitant to lower yourself down though. "Are you sure-"
You didn't even get to finish your question when you felt Seonghwa pull you down to his mouth. Immediately his tongue went to work against you clit. You moan, one hand bracing yourself against the wall while you bury the fingers of the other in his dark hair. A vibrator certainly worked wonders, but there is something else about his tongue. He moved his up and down against your clit before moving it in circles clockwise.
"Hwa..." You say, almost sounding breathless. He simply hums and continues his ministrations with his tongue. He nuzzles his faces against your cunt and adjust his mouth so he could lap you up. Seonghwa's tongue briefly pushes against your clit and then you feel his lips wrap around your sensitive bud, gently sucking on it. Instinctively you bite your lip to hold back your moan, making him lightly slap your ass, not enough to hurt but to get a point across. He lifts you just enough to free his mouth so he could speak.
"You said your roommate is gone for the night?" He asks and you give him a quick 'yes.' You felt his lips curl into a smile. "Then don't hold back, jagiya. It's just us."
You feel his tongue move against you again in all the right ways, making you moan again. You didn't hold it back this time and you could tell Hwa is pleased with that. He shifted underneath you and he buries his face into your cunt, he continued to gently suck and swirl his tongue around your clit. His ministrations had you squirming, slowly rocking your hips against him, and you were making all sorts of noises. 
"Seonghwa..." You whimper. You speaking his name in such a manner had him groan in pleasure. You feel him shift yet again, his grip on your hips firm. His tongue is off your clit and you feel his tongue swirl around your entrance. He penetrates you and thrusts with his tongue while his nose brushed against your swollen bud. His mouth is working wonders on your and you can feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. Hwa doesn't relent, keeping the pleasure going and keeping you relatively still with his hands holding onto your hips. "Fuck... Hwa I'm-!"
Your walls fluttered around his tongue. You feel your thigh muscles tighten and they press against his head. A loud noise of pleasure leaves your lips as you throw your head back. Hwa squeezes and lightly massages your hips as you climax, his tongue slowly slides out from your hole and gently licks your cunt. He waits a few moments before gently guiding you off his face. You lift a leg and sit next to his head, your back against your headboard. 
Seonghwa quickly got up, licking his lips clean of your juices though his chin and nose still shined with your climax. He sits next to you and his hands caress your legs. He smiles at you, a look of satisfaction on his face, while you came down from your orgasm. 
"You have a little something on your face." You giggle and gesture around your own chin and nose. He chuckles and you watch as he swipes his fingers over his skin and then lick them clean.
"Better?" He whispers with a slight smirk. You can tell he was trying to be sexy but he still had some of your cum on him. You giggle softly making him blush and chuckle.
"Here, hold on for a moment." You get up from the bed and head out of your room to your bathroom. You grabbed a clean wash cloth, dampened it with some water, and returned to your bedroom. You hand Seonghwa the cloth and he gives you an appreciative smile, his cheeks and ears dusted with a subtle pink. You sit back down as he cleans off his face. He sets the cloth on your nightstand and looks back at you.
You watch as Seonghwa gets off the bed. His eyes scan your body with a smirk. Slowly, he took off his shirt and slid off his pants and boxers. Both of you were completely nude and you can see just how turned on he is. Hwa gets back onto your bed and gets right up to you, his face mere inches from yours.
"I love you so much, (Y/N)." He whispers. His hand comes up and gently caresses your jaw and neck.
"I love you too, Seonghwa." You smile at him, your tone soft and full of love. He smiles back and presses his lips against yours. His kiss is tender this time around. His hand cradles the back of your head to keep you in place, but you know you don't want to pull away in this moment. Your fingers graze the skin of his bare chest. You slowly brought them up to his collarbones and then his neck.
"Hmm, I want to take this all the way, jagiya." He pauses for a moment as his eyes look down at your body and then back at your face. He smirks. "I want to hear all those lovely noises you make."
"If I get to ride you, my love." You say in a sensual tone. His smirk crumbles to a flustered look at your suggestion, but he still smiles regardless.
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes." You nod and he bites his bottom lip. Seonghwa moves and sits down, his back against the headboard now. You grin, moving to stand on your legs before you throw your leg over his lap, effectively straddling him. His hands are once again on your hips as he pulls your body against his. He has a lustful and excited smile on his face.
"Condoms? I brought some-"
"No, it's fine. I trust you and I'm still taking birth control." You smile.
You reach behind and grab the shaft of Seonghwa's cock. You carefully drag his tip through your wet folds to tease him a little. You line him up to your entrance and look at his face. He gives a small nod for you to continue and you do so. You slowly lower yourself down, languidly taking him inside you. You both let out a soft moans. You sat in his lap, your hands grip his shoulders, while his cock fully inside you and you take a moment to savor the feeling.
"Ah, you feel so good, jagiya." Seonghwa mumbles, his lips barely brush against yours. You can feel his hot breath but you didn't care. His eyes were half-closed as he stared deeply into yours. You can feel his hands caressing your hips, thighs, and ass. His length twitches inside and you can tell he is full of anticipation for you to start moving. Hwa gives you a sweet smile, which contrasts with the current, steamy situation. "Take your time. You have control right now until you want me to take over."
"Thank you, love." You whisper softy and peck his lips. You wait a full two minutes before you started moving. You take a slow and steady pace, your thigh muscles flexing as you raise yourself up and down on his cock. Seonghwa's hands firmly held your hips yet he made no effort to control your movements, he simply assisted you so you wouldn't be doing all the work. 
"This feels nice." Hwa murmurs and leans his head down, his lips pressing against your neck. You feel his teeth graze your skin and he gently nips at your neck.
"Feels s'good." You moan softly. You rock your hips at a pleasurable pace. It is a very sensual moment between you both. It was just you and him, nothing else mattered. He raised his head from your neck and pressed his forehead against yours. He looked at you with pure adoration and love. His hands slide to your lower back and then moved up to your shoulder blades. You feel his arms against your sides as he hugged you close to his chest. You still moved your hips at a slow pace. 
This is a moment of passion and pleasure, but also a moment of love and bliss.
You sunk all the way down on him and gently grind your hips against him, feeling pleasure come from your clit grazing his pubic mound. Seonghwa smiles at you, enjoying how you look getting yourself off on him. He kiss your cheek and his lips linger to you skin for a few moments. You feel his fingertips press into your back and rub small circles on your skin.
You returned to moving yourself up and down on his cock. You increased your speed, sometimes focusing on his tip and then rotating to taking him all the way. Regardless  of what you did, he was moaning and groaning at all your movements. His hands were back on your hips as you leaned away from him with your hands gripping his shoulders. You both wanted to see your faces.
You feel a coil-like sensation in your lower stomach as pleasure builds up again. Your breathing is harsh and deep, and you can feel your legs getting tired... but you wanted to keep going. Seonghwa could see and feel how you your stamina is waning. He smiles sweetly and leans forward to capture your lips in a passionate yet short kiss.
"Relax, jagiya." His voice is smooth and low. He holds your hips and stops your movements. Seonghwa then starts to thrust his hips up at a quick pace. A loud moan escapes your lips as you cling on to him. He leaned forward and nibbles on your neck while you feel one of his hands move from your hip to your pubic mound. Hwa pressed his thumb over your swollen clit and started rubbing circles.
"O-Oh, Hwa..." You whimper out. You feel that heat building up more and more inside you.
"Hng- You're amazing, (Y/N)."He moaned as well, moving his head away from your neck to stare at your face. You can see he was getting close to his own release by the erotic expression on his face. 
"I-I think... I'm going to cum again." You whisper, feeling that all too familiar feeling crawl up your legs. You looked at him with all the love you could muster. The intimacy and intense feelings all added to your impending orgasm. The way the head of his cock hit that sweet spot inside you just right and his thumb swirling and applying the correct amount pressure sent you over the edge. You lean forward with your forehead against his as a loud whine leaves your mouth, your walls fluttering around his cock.
"(Y/N)-!" He groaned, still thrusting into your cunt. He stared intensely into your eyes, chasing his own climax. His breathing grows ragged and his thrusts became off rhythm. A moan tumbles from his lips as he sloppily kisses you, thrusting one last time. You feel his cock twitch inside you as his cum coats your walls. He keeps himself fully sheathed inside you as you both catch your breaths.
"Seonghwa..." You murmur, your body slumping against his, resting your head on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you and his hands gently grip the skin of your back. You feel his warm breath fan over the back of your neck as he leveled out his breathing. Seonghwa made a noise that sounded like a mix of a sigh and a moan as he rests his head against yours.
Neither of you said anything further. Seonghwa keeps his arms tight around you while you equally clinged to him. Nothing really needed to be said in this moment, the high emotions you both shared spoke enough.
Minutes passed when you finally speak up.
"We should probably clean up and get you to bed." You whisper to him, pulling your head back to look over this face.
"I want to stay like this, jagiya." He murmurs, placing his lips on your neck. "I feel so close to you like this... "
"I know, love, but we have to be up early." Hwa groaned at this, which makes you laugh.
"Stop being right."
"Come on... let's take a shower, Hwa." He reluctantly helps you off his lap, his softening length now out of you. You both get off from your bed and you lead him out your room to your bathroom. His hands remained on your waist as you both walked and then waited for the shower water to warm up. He didn't want to let go of you just yet.
After the shower and after drying off, you both go back into your room to change into comfortable clothes to sleep in. He laid down first, slipping under the covers. When you joined him, you laugh when his arms pulled you flush against his body. Seonghwa tucks your head under his chin and he holds you firmly in his arms. You chuckle and hold him just as tightly.
"I don't want to let go of you again... this feels like it's going to be harder than when you when you visited." He says with a sigh.
"I know, Hwa, I know." You mumble, already feel an ache in your chest. "Let's savor the rest of tonight together."
There is a pause.
"I love you, (Y/N)."
"I love you too, Seonghwa."
Morning came too fast your liking. You and Seonghwa awoke with your limbs practically tangled. His warmth despite the temperatures warming outside is comforting in the moment. You both reluctantly got dressed and made Hwa a light breakfast.
A little before 7am, Ateez and their manager came back over to pick Seonghwa up and of course came to say goodbye. You got an earful of teasing when they see the blemishes and marks Hwa left on your neck. You hugged each member and of course your hug lingered on Hwa, with you both gently caressing each other's backs for comfort.
Goodbyes were harder this time around, but you still had that ray of optimism due to your move to South Korea. It will be rough, but with Seonghwa, the rest of Ateez, and even their manager, you knew it would be a feat you'll overcome.
Your new horizon awaits you and your life with Seonghwa seems to be on the right track.
------------
Taglist: @stopeatread @hee0soo @tridkeys @pocketjoong-reads @seonghwaddict @lelaleleb @acciocriativity @h-nji
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elijahsvampylover · 2 years
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i hope you got your happy ending. p.4
Elijah mikealson x reader
warnings - kiss?
summary - You and Elijah were lovers back in 1820. He left you one night because Mikeal was after them. You moved on, found a boyfriend and got pregnant of twingirls. He didnt want children so you stayed as an single mother. A few years later, you go on a small vacation with your girls. when youre looking for an restaurant, you bump into an strange men. Someone you expected never to see again.
ps: English isnt my first language. And if you dont like my writing you can leave. Thankyou already for reading. <33
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The day flew by yesterday. 2 days after my meeting with the mikealsons are over. Today is the day, the day im going to see Elijah. Bel called last minute that she could watch the kids. so that i can go alone.
it was 12 noon. The bar wasn't far away from here. I got into the car and drived for about 10 minutes.
As i walked trough the busy crowd in town seeing the bar. i already saw him sitting outside at a table with some coffee. As i walked to him, he offered me a warm smile. ''Hi, im glad you came. I want to tell you everything, if you give me the chance for it. Would you like something to drink?''
I nodded. ''Just a tea please.'' He ordered the tea and it was silence for a moment. ''So, are you going to explain it?'' i reminded him. He looked for a second to his feet and looked back to me again.
'''Well, First of all. i never wanted to leave you. And i swear, if i could, i had took you with me. I did not left because i wanted to, but i had to. Father was after us and we had to run. Again. When i left you i was heartbroken. After that i swore never to fall in love again with another person...''
It was silence. You didnt knew what to say. '' And that girl, Hayles or something like that?'' He chuckled. ''You mean Hayley. Yes, she carried Niklaus's child. I believe she has a crush on me or what do they say now?'' You smiled. ''Yes, a crush.''
''I cant say i return her feelings. Im not healed yet. I dont think i'll ever be, y/n..'' He said with a sad face. Before you could answer, he asked you something.
''I am a little curious, Y/n. How did you get children as a vampire? thats impossible.'' You looked up at him. ''I dont know, i was just pregnant from my boyfriend. He did not believe it was his, so we went to a witch. she could assurance that he was the father and i was really pregnant.'' there was a silence. ''but he didnt want the children, so he left. Before he left he tried to kill them. But i could just save them in time but now they stay so young forever. When i was on my 7th month i heard he died.''
''im sorry. But im glad you did got your children, you always wanted them as i can remember.'' He answered you and offered you a kind smile.
You guys spoke a little about when you guys had an relationship, what you guys did and which places you have seen. After that there was an akward silence.
''Were do you live actually? Do you have a Job? maybe a new lover?'' you looked back at him. ''i live in New york, I Have my own Make up brand, and my own clothing line. Next to that i am a singer, maybe you once heard me. And when im free i like to travel with my kids and Belcallis.''
''The dress im wearing, is from my brand.'' i added. He looked me up and down. ''its a beautiful dress i must say.'' That got you a little blushing.
''thanks'' you smiled sweetly. it reminded Elijah of when he first met you. how you would always smile at him after he gave you a compliment.
''When are you returning back?'' he asked. ''In 6 days. i've got work to do.'' he looked at his feet, eyes filled with guilt and sadness.
''Cant you just stay?'' that shocked u. ''u-uhm..why i dont have a reason.'' he made eye contact with you. ''i can give you a 100 reasons. reason 1, the most important one. Do it for me, and Rebekah, Klaus and even Kol. We have all missed u, y/n.''
''Elijah, pleas dont do this. We had one talk. i've mourned for a century. I can't do this Elijah, i have to choose for myself and my children.''
with that i stood up. ''i have to go and get Aliyah and Stormi. Have a good life Elijah.'' with that i turned around. ''Wait!'' Elijah shouted behind me. As i turned around i feel his lips smashing against mine.
after a second or three he let go. ''Just know, i love you with all my heart. I could not let you leave again before i said this and spoke my mind. You're free to leave now, y/n. But know, that i'll wait. wait for you. And please think about it. i'll be here.'' He then sped away in a flash.
I ran to my car and drove as to Belcallis. Why did he always have to make it this difficult for me? He knows im a love foolsick and yet he kisses me. Because he knew, he knew if he did something like that, it was harder for me to leave.
i parked the car below the appartment Bel currently was staying in. I walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. ''hi, they are back there with Bel.'' I looked the boy up and down. Damn, really something Bel woud choose. ''Thankyou.'' i politely gave him a smile as i walked in.
''Baby Girls?'' Stormi ran out the living room and hugged me. ''Your back mommy.'' she smiled so sweet. such a cutie. ''I am back baby. where is your sister?'' i asked her. ''Asleep.'' Ofcourse, she loves sleeping. that lazy baby. ''Hi gurl" i turned around and there she was. Bel.
I smiled at her. ''We really have to talk.'' She looked worried immediately. ''Whats wrong?'' i gave her my 'it happened' face.
''OMG'' ''I cant believe it!'' She almost screamed. ''Mommy?'' Aliyah stood at the hallway door. ''Hi baby'' i picked her up as i put stormi down for a sec. ''How did you sleep?'' she was rubbing her eyes. ''Good. we watched Elsa.''
The girls took their little backpack that i made this morning with their ipad, extra pair of clothes + swimwear, some toys and 2 candies. ''Listen i'll call u tonight. We have to talk about this.'' I nodded. said goodbye to her 'boyfriend', and went to the car.
As far as i knew, there was a cinema here. ''Girls, who wants to go to the cinema?'' ''Yes we want to go mommy!''
''Alright give me a second i want to look which movies there are.'' i scrolled down. God, there are so much movies me and belcallis would love to see rn. ''Okay girls, there are a few choices. choice 1, Moana. 2, The lion king. 3, Mulan, or the last one, Finding Dory.''
i looked away from my phone and looked at them. ''finding dory.'' they answered. ''Alright lets go then.''
''Hello miss, what kind of snacks would u like?'' ''one medium pocorn, a little bag of m&ms, and some doritos please.''
We watched the movie and it was fun. you headed back to the hotel and bathed them. Tommorow youre seeing Rebekah again. But now, now you were tired and wanted to sleep. Before that you called Bel. She said that you have to think about it and you could make a new start here. Not only for the love but also for yourself. I mean, she was right. i've been in New york for 6,5 years. But.. i loved New york, so its a difficult situation.
For the Girls it wasnt a problem, they love it here. You could move your building to here and buy a nice house. But you werent sure if you wanted to. The only thing you wanted right now , was sleep.
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peri · 7 months
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suicide tw a little later in the post, kinda heavy, kinda long. sorry i just need to talk about this
i was on youtube yesterday while trying to calm down from spiraling, and before i could find a video i wanted to put on, a 9 year old video my brother posted popped up. it didnt have any more than 10 views. knowing it'd be bittersweet, i clicked.
i was in 90% of the videos he posted. we'd be playing everything together. gaming videos, of course, if you dont know my brother, he's a gamer first person second. but in a well-adjusted way lol. he's like, really good at every game he plays and can beat them really quickly.
on one hand, it was really weird seeing my old self, even in video games. my typing style, the name i used, my character styles, etc. on the other, seeing my brother, young and so close to me, typing slow, awkward... it made me smile.
he and i used to be really close. we'd do everything together. he ... looked up to me. he talked to me. these days we've drifted. we don't ever text unless its a birthday, and then its just to say happy birthday, no conversation. i don't think we've had an actual conversation since i left. but even before then, the last time we really talked was when i was heavily suicidal and opened up about that to him finally. this was in late 2019, i believe.
he was caring, understanding, said he's struggled with it himself in the past, told me everything. and he said he would always be there for me.
it.. broke my heart, one night. we were all drinking, and he ended up getting emotional but none of us knew why. until eventually he started crying and just calling my name over and over. "oh, [deadname].... [name], [name], [name].... [name]! [name]! [name]!" it ripped my heart out, and just recalling it is painful. i knew exactly why he called my name. he was scared. he thought i was going to kill myself, and soon. and to be fair, at that point, i thought i was going to as well. i didn't tell him that, but he knew.
i'm crying lol. no one else ever knew why he did that. but i did. he was drunk out of his mind, so i ended up walking him back to his room and putting him to bed. he made me sit on his bed until he fell asleep. he fell asleep fairly quick, as he was very drunk and out of it. but he didnt want me to leave his side, so i stayed a little longer anyways.
that was the last time we were ever truly close. i wonder if he remembers that.
during my visit back to texas last year, i asked if he was mad at me. if he was ever upset that i left. he said no, he would never hold that against me. which was nice. but it did mean that the reason we drifted was just... for nothing. i mean, dont get me wrong, we'd been drifting for longer than that, the last few years i lived with him, he stayed alone in his room most of the time, and i never knew what to say. he's always been awkward, quiet, anxious, so talking wasnt easy. and i guess growing up made that feel impossible.
he eventually got a girlfriend, after years of me questioning if he was even into the idea of dating and romance at all lol, and she ended up living with us. im glad for her, coz she really turned his life around. but it did mean that i saw him even less. he was occupied with her.
theyre still together btw. his first ever relationship and its been years. good for him.
but anyways... i guess all of this just to say i miss him. i never thought we'd drift. it's hard to think about. hard to acknowledge.
looking back at those old youtube videos made me face that again. he was so young. so happy. so enthusiastic.
he had no idea what would happen.
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Text
saving bucky barnes chapter 9
"Zemo you just want me so you can get too bucky. Do you think I will let my guard down ?.. I won't ever I will never allow you to take bucky back to hydra. " Zemo replied I'm surprised you actually want a book on cooking from sokoiva". You look down "I've never tried it. but you always smelled so delicious I wanted to taste the food myself. " Zemo smirks, "I would love to teach you how to cook it properly draga. If you would let me in the tower I can teach you". you chuckle, nice try but I'm not inviting you into the tower. you let out a small whine as another cramp causes you to double over in pain. Zemo whispers his voice slightly thicker. you know draga it will only get worse, I've studied wolves if they don't have an alpha mate them they often go feral, or they are attacked by hunters because they are weaker. Clint walks back in holding a frozen coffee. "the Cinnabon place was closed". Zemo why are you here he asks with a death glare". you pick up your books and take them to the checkout counter. Zemo speaks softly "I came to apologize to y/n after I heard about what happened I realized it was all my fault." Clint checks on you over his shoulder what do u mean? I already know u hurt her last night are you telling me you don't remember doing that? Zemo looks down no I heard about the 8 dead bodies they found outside of a bar. they were all mauled by some animal 4 blocks from where she threw me through the wall. Clint whispers that's why she was drunk last night when we found her.
What do you mean? Clint, where did you find y/n? Clint checks on you again before replying. Bucky and I heard her scream and ran to her room to find her in the shower with all her clothes on, trying to frantically wash off she was saying it won't come off it won't come off. we had to give her some medicine to calm her down so we could find out what happened. bucky slept in his room with her to make sure she was ok. she came to the bookstore trying to feel better hence the coffee. you walk back over to Clint. "im checked out can we go now I do not want that smell getting on my jacket I just washed it" Zemo looks up at you "I am sorry for my actions draga but I meant what I said. " you glare at him "stay away from my human Zemo that's a warning. with that you disappear having teleported back to the tower. clint goes to talk to bucky. "bucky did you know she killed 8 people last night ? " bucky looks up from cleaning his guns "no but that would explain why she was so drunk last night I thought zemo had tried to trigger her and she managed to get away but that makes a lot more sense. Clint says zemo showed up at the book store he apologized to her but then threatened her because she won't come with him. bucky gets up and walks out to the kitchen where you are curled up reading under the counter. you look up at him and say softly I'm not mad at you anymore I understand you just wanted me to rest so I didn't get sick. y/n you killed 8 people last night why didn't you tell me that this morning? bucky stands there with his arms crossed looking very irritated waiting for an answer. you look down I don't remember doing it bucky I had no idea when zemo tried to bite me everything went black and then black I woke up next to you. bucky kneels on one knee and gently tilts your head back to make you look directly in the eyes with him . bucky i promise i didnt know . bucky gets up and walks back over to clint . " she says she dosent remember any thing and i can tell her in her eyes the the only thing she remembers is me triggering her to pass out . she has trama from zemo he used to taunt her and he was quite cruel to her he put her in the chair more made her fight more often it was like he was on a mission to make her kill him and then one night she snapped thats the night she still has nightmares about we almost escaped but she blacked out again and i was the only one around she attacked me and we both woke up in the med bay the doctors say the only reason i didnt bleed out was because my heart was beating so slowly from the extreme cold from the winter . i dont know why but she didnt leave me they said she was trying to get me too wake up when they found us. after that they kept her separated from me i would hear her screams i have no idea what he did to her but it must be pretty traumatic for her to switch personalities for hours like that . clint whispers keep an eye on her he might tell the police they might come asking questions. it dosent matter if she doesn't remember doing it she did it . she said something about a scent getting in her jacket at the store she just washed it . bucky looks over towards the kitchen before whispering cherry blossoms she told me before thats what he smells like normally i imagine now he smells like that plus the scent of an alpha. the two walk over to the kitchen to find you asleep with your blanket and a book in top in your lap.
zemo couldn't sleep the scent of you drove him mad he wanted nothing more than to rut deep inside of you . he was fascinated with you while u were at hydra. he had a soft spot for you that was why he would train your harder, he didnt want you being replaced. when he almost lost you he separated you from the soldier, unless the two of you were sparing or on a mission. he couldnt out his finger on it but he didnt want to let you go unfortunately him pushing you so hard caused him to one of the first ones you attacked when you finally did snap it was terrifying. he wanted to teach you how to cook the dishes from his home land sonce you seemed so intrigued by them . he knew he had to bring the soldier back with or without you he snarled at the thought of them hurting you again he get up to take a shower hoping it would help he allowed the water to run he leaned his head back trying to calm him self .
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joelredden · 2 years
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For the past year and a half living in complete love with someone who has passed away. I now understand why nanny would say the things she did about being alone after losing pawpaw. I wondered for the better part of my life why she would'nt move on because this world is such a dismal place without love. Now, having lost my girlfriend Alyvia, who was and is still my muse of an absolutely beautiful true bestfriend from the moment we met till probably forever. Nomatter where how or when I wake up everyday longing for her, (if i can even manage to sleep) I now understand why nanny had bad sleep for such an old person, lol. After hearing this news, Im grateful i know my grandmas heart very well, after countless sleepovers falling asleep to fresh prince on the airmatresses and waking up to CMT music videos every morning to get me pumped up for a great day at school! I fell in love with music because of Nanny as well as love haha which i can say proudly she created the most hopeless romantic the world has seen. Im so grateful for the countless drives we all had together mostly maymay kayla cody and I really haha. Im so glad i got to cry to her last summer after Alyvia died. I sold my car to just fly in without notice and all I could do was cry no matter what state or city I found myself lost in looking for home because the only place i felt truly ever home was with Lyv. Nothing was helping heal this pain drowning me and in all honesty i came to Florida to tell everyone i loved them and give one last goodbye because this heartbreak is literally killing me. I remember when i was much younger nanny would go out on the porch at night and look at the stars and show me which one was pawpaw, because he was always the first star to come out at night and ever since then i always see pawpaw when i look at the stars. And shed always just say i just miss pawpaw here and there and i didnt get it then but wow. I can barely get a sentence out without it having something to do with Alyvia.
If i know my grandma like i think i do, the day her spirit left the body we know she'd been waiting for that moment in awe since the day pawpaw passed away. Love has now been refurbished and thats such a very beautful thing.
I think i kissed nannys forehead before i ran off that porch last time haha and im so happy i did.
I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!
I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were once that happy. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.
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fa7hum · 1 year
Text
Reunion of Requited
For the past year and a half living in complete love with someone who has passed away. I now understand why nanny would say the things she did about being alone after losing pawpaw. I wondered for the better part of my life why she would'nt move on because this world is such a dismal place without love. Now, having lost my girlfriend Alyvia, who was and is still my muse of an absolutely beautiful true bestfriend from the moment we met till probably forever. Nomatter where how or when I wake up everyday longing for her, (if i can even manage to sleep) | now understand why nanny had bad sleep for such an old person, lol. After hearing this news, Im grateful i know my grandmas heart very well, after countless sleepovers falling asleep to fresh prince on the airmatresses and waking up to CMT music videos every morning to get me pumped up for a great day at school! I fell in love with music because of Nanny as well as love haha which i can say proudly she created the most hopeless romantic the world has seen. Im so grateful for the countless drives we all had together mostly maymay kayla cody and I really haha. Im so glad i got to cry to her last summer after Allyvia died. I sold my car to just fly in without notice and all I could do was cry no matter what state or city I found myself lost in looking for home because the only place i felt truly ever home was with Lyv. Nothing was helping heal this pain drowning me and in all honesty i came to Florida to tell everyone i loved them and give one last goodbye because this heartbreak is literally killing me. I remember when i was much younger nanny would go out on the porch at night and look at the stars and show me which one was pawpaw, because he was always the first star to come out at night and ever since then i always see pawpaw when i look at the stars. And shed always just say i just miss pawpaw here and there and i didnt get it then but wow. I can barely get a sentence out without it having something to do with Alyvia.
If i know my grandma like i think i do, the day her spirit left the body we know she'd been waiting for that moment in awe since the day pawpaw passed away. Love has now been refurbished and thats such a very beautful thing.
I think i kissed nannys forehead before i ran off that porch last time haha and im so happy i did.
I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said
"love is blind. Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded.
The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!
I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood.
And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were once that happy. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.
, ,jtr
xoxo
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salaciousslut · 4 months
Note
Take your time<3 I know whatever songs you share with me will be good! Plus im not picky with what music im listening to!!
And im so sorry to have kept you waiting so long sweetheart, i just got home not too long ago! And i didnt drink all my alcohol last night so i have a full bottle of soju and two shooters to myself 🤭 also omg it looks like you may have a higher liquor tolerance than me 🫣 I got decently drunk off one and a half bottles. Maybe thats a good amount for someone who's a bit of a lightweight with alcohol. But im never hung over and i never black out, i just get hazy on the details sometimes 🫣 i kept thinking about you last night and this morning, i just think it wouldve been real fun hanging out with you and talking over a few drinks<3
When im brave enough to go into your dms i know we'll have a lot of fun talking to each other on call!! And when i receive those voice messages just know i'll cherish them🥰 Tbh i'm real big on voices. And to be honest any noises people make im here for them, its too easy to rile me up. All someone has to do is breathe in my ear a little and i wanna stretch them out on my fingers🫣 its a bit of a curse
Thats so sweet of you! Youre too nice, i'll be getting a candle warmer myself but for now im just saving to get my own apartment. Once i get the place to stay and the essentials down, the candle warmer's coming next! You're adorable<3 you deserve to be warm, happy, and giggly always<3 i would kill to see how pretty your tits look with wax all over them<3 i think you'd look so pretty and i cant help but imagine you smiling up at me after dripping candle wax on your pretty body and im going crazy🥺 he didnt deserve you, but i get it ive also had some stupid experiences with some stupid guys during low points in my own life. I just hope that the people who have access to your body are worthy of something so sweet and so pretty<3
You are literally my favorite kind of person omg<3 i love folks with rbf that are actually sweethearts like you, princess<3 like most of my friends are like that, i feel like im the least intimidating bc i supposedly have a kind smile. I'd be more than happy to take turns being the big spoon and the little spoon 🥺 i love being held as much as i love to hold people, and ofc i'll bring the shark dude's my sleeping buddy i hold him almost every night🤭 spoil me too much and i'll be insufferable, dont go off and feed my god complex too much sweetheart<3
hehe hi handsome!!! im glad u got home safe and had fun!!
thats good thay ur never hungover or blackout!! but its okay ill tale care of u if u do!! and yeah i can handle my drinks i think! thats why ill sometimes drink on an empty tummy if im feel cheap or just wanna get wasted!! i knowww i was thinking of you too!! just wanna talk and watch you with your friends!!
hehe take ur time!! ur brave in my eyes but i know dms are scary!! i love voices too! and i love silly banter so talking people is so fun to me! and like u said, i also love voices hehe, im pretty auditory when it comes to people so i love just listening
please stretch me out!!! i love being a tease and a bit of a menace but i promise, once you start teasing me, i melt 🥺☺️
thank you 🥺 youre soooo kind and i wish i could help and spoil u!! and make sure u have everything that u need to thrive!!
awww i love smiles, thats actually one of my fav features on people so i bet yours is soooo charming and beautiful. as i said i love feeding god complexes, theres just something so hot about someone who knows their worth and has an air of confidence that makes me weak at the knees so trust me, ill be feeding into it a lot if you let me
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t4tdanvis · 4 months
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my mcd rewrite if they had tumblr (again)
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
Who up theying they them
🩵 thefirefist Follow
So this is the guy we're all supposed to be scared of...?
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
I'm going to find you and commit a dramatic murder-suicide for the third time this week
🔪 shadowknight-swordlesbian Follow
ITS FUCKING MONDAY DUDE??
242 notes
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💙 nottheguyfromthatbook Follow
I love ignoring my daughter and making out with my boyfriend instead
🥀 theironfist Follow
i wake up to this. why did u post this at 3 am last night? are u okay?
🥀 theironfist Follow
better question, is ur daughter okay. why are u ignoring ur daughter. dante stop ignoring ur child
🥀 theironfist Follow
dante i am taking away ur child
21 notes
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🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
oh look i have another follower now hey vylad
🔪 shadowknight-swordlesbian Follow
VYLAD HAS TUMBLR???
🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
yes
🍃 pleasedonotthevylad Follow
Hi.
🔪 shadowknight-swordlesbian Follow
hey vylad
🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
damn the gangs all here
7 notes
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😺 ihatemyself-6675636b67656e65 Follow
apparently vylad has a tumblr account and he isnt even following me
😺 ihatemyself-6675636b67656e65 Follow
... HE FUCKING BLOCKED ME??
🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
based as fuck
😺 ihatemyself-6675636b67656e65 Follow
based in what, asshole
🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
based in me fucking the guy youve convinced yourself is your boyfriend
5 notes
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🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
honestly id be lying if i said i didnt expect him to block me for that one
🔪 shadowknight-swordlesbian Follow
you fucking killed him. i applaud your performance
🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
who knew itd be that easy
4 notes
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🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
Guys guys guys
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
There's a CAT
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
Guys the cat let me pet it
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
I'm naming her Bunny
😺 ihatemyself-6675636b67656e65 Follow
stupid fucking name
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
I thought I blocked you
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
And how fucking DARE you insult Bunny
10 notes
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🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
I am teaching Bunny to kill
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
Do you think I could give her a sword
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
@.theironfist Nicole can you make something that could make my cat hold a sword
🥀 theironfist Follow
... what?
🥀 theironfist Follow
i don't think so??
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
I'm gonna kill myself
🩸 shadowlordsrighthandman Follow
I will do it myself then
11 notes
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❄ sillyfunnydemontboy Follow
what to do when your boyfriend is sooooooooo pretty
💙 nottheguyfromthatbook Follow
Awwwwwwwwww thanks I love you too :)
❄ sillyfunnydemontboy Follow
what to do when your boyfriend is sooooooooooooo fuckable
💙 nottheguyfromthatbook Follow
I take back everything I said
12 notes
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🍬 bestcatgirlbaker Follow
natsuki turns 2 in a few days!!
💙 nottheguyfromthatbook Follow
FUCK YEAHHHHHH!!!!!
💙 nottheguyfromthatbook Follow
EVERYBODY REBLOG THIS MY DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY IS SOON!!!!!!!!
1,137 notes
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🍃 pleasedonotthevylad Follow
Sometimes I wonder why Zenix posts, on average, 136 times every day.
🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
........ did u count
🍃 pleasedonotthevylad Follow
Yes. It is actually closer to 135.7153.
🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
thats gay as fuck vylad
🍃 pleasedonotthevylad Follow
Distracting from the point of the post, I see.
🦊 imgoingtokillyouviolently Follow
its bc im married to the grind babyyyyyy
🍃 pleasedonotthevylad Follow
And sometimes I wonder why I am even dating Zenix in the first place.
9 notes
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Page 76 (part 1)
You talked about us being sims and how every version of us as sims paired the two of us up together. I was so happy because I had always wanted the “soul mate”, “in every life”, “in every universe” partner and relationship. You bringing that up made me feel like you saw this as long term and like maybe we were meant for each other. Yet, not a month later and youre ending it. It shattered that vision for me and it felt like you never meant any of it. You told me I was one of your favorite people. Im guessing that wasn’t the truth? You said you were happy I was in your life, was that a lie? I just feel so blindsided, I really liked you and I thought you felt the same but I guess this time our sims deviated from the norm. While I was out looking for maroon lingerie, you were probably figuring pout how to break up with me. I was more invested then you, I liked you more than you liked me and I shoulndt be surprised. Why would I think any differently, I am such a dumbass to think you would actually want to be with me long term, no one ever will be. You say im amazing and worthy of love, I wish you could give it to me, right now, youre the only one I want that from. I hate knowing ill never get to hug you or kiss you or cuddle you, or hold hands with you again. Seeing you last night sitting on the couch made me think when we would sit together on a couch and cuddle or touch somehow and I wanted to do that so badly, to just go over and sit and touch you, but that dynamic is over. It fucking kills me. I felt like I was having a panic attack seeing you. I felt so fucking claustrophobic in my body, I felt like I needed to leave, to go away and get away from you and the feeling of being trapped inside of myself. I wanted to leave the party I didnt know how I was going to make it through it, I felt like it was impossible. And it almost was, hearing you laugh and seeing you smile, I just miss it all so much. And then you went and started joking around and quoting an audio I showed you, that we quoted together. It was our audio, but now you use it with other people. It felt like a gut punch, it was just an audio but it was something we said together. I miss our jokes, and its almost too much to hang out with Wade and Summer because their humor is so similar to yours that it just hurts every time they say something funny, it just all reminds me of you. Its going to be two weeks tomorrow and I just cant believe its been that long already, just two weeks ago we were watching HOHH and I was so excited that you were watching my favorite show and now you may never finish it. And a month ago was Borrego Springs. It was fun but now the memories are tainted because now I know you may have been thinking about if you wanted to stay with me during that trip. And its like we were sharing a bed and making out and spent 3 days together and it all just feels is fake now. That cuddling and kissing in bed felt so nice, it felt so fucking nice to wake up and see your face and now those memories will always make me sad. I miss it. I want it back. But I know I won’t. Why cant i. Can I do something to change your mind? Do you want me to have sex with you? Is that what will make you come back? Probably not. Thats just my own insecurity about sex coming out. But if there is something I can do to make you come back, please, tell me. I miss you so much, I think about you everyday. When I wake up, when im at work , at home, and when I go to bed. I miss seeing you after work, especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays, my longest days, the thought of seeing you got me through the day, and now I dont have that to look forward to anymore. And summer has said we can hang out on those days and I appreciate her and love her and spending time with her, but its just not the same.
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theboyjtr · 2 years
Text
For the past year and a half living in complete love with someone who has passed away. I now understand why nanny would say the things she did about being alone after losing pawpaw. I wondered for the better part of my life why she would'nt move on because this world is such a dismal place without love. Now, having lost my girlfriend Alyvia, who was and is still my muse of an absolutely beautiful true bestfriend from the moment we met till probably forever. Nomatter where how or when I wake up everyday longing for her, (if i can even manage to sleep) I now understand why nanny had bad sleep for such an old person, lol. After hearing this news, Im grateful i know my grandmas heart very well, after countless sleepovers falling asleep to fresh prince on the airmatresses and waking up to CMT music videos every morning to get me pumped up for a great day at school! I fell in love with music because of Nanny as well as love haha which i can say proudly she created the most hopeless romantic the world has seen. Im so grateful for the countless drives we all had together mostly maymay kayla cody and I really haha. Im so glad i got to cry to her last summer after Alyvia died. I sold my car to just fly in without notice and all I could do was cry no matter what state or city I found myself lost in looking for home because the only place i felt truly ever home was with Lyv. Nothing was helping heal this pain drowning me and in all honesty i came to Florida to tell everyone i loved them and give one last goodbye because this heartbreak is literally killing me. I remember when i was much younger nanny would go out on the porch at night and look at the stars and show me which one was pawpaw, because he was always the first star to come out at night and ever since then i always see pawpaw when i look at the stars. And shed always just say i just miss pawpaw here and there and i didnt get it then but wow. I can barely get a sentence out without it having something to do with Alyvia.
If i know my grandma like i think i do, the day her spirit left the body we know she'd been waiting for that moment in awe since the day pawpaw passed away. Love has now been refurbished and thats such a very beautful thing.
I think i kissed nannys forehead before i ran off that porch last time haha and im so happy i did.
I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!
I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were once that happy. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.
0 notes
darkredmage · 2 years
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How come every time I tried to kill myself the next day is shitty and make me regret not actually being successful at that
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Our little love part 2 - mafia/yandere au Drabble {angst + fluff}
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As always please let me know what you think, I am actually going to go to bed now my brain is angry with me for not sleeping.
It seemed the cycle was never ending, you fucking up and pissing them off, them punishing you by drowning you in their love, only letting you come up to breathe so you could swim in your own guilt and submit to them.
You wince as the victim to your latest fuck up gets another blow to his chest. Taehyung and Hobi held onto his arms as Jungkook and Jimin kick and punch the poor individual. You know not to speak, it’ll only make things worse. Temperament was a fickle thing in their lives, trust was everything, and you still had to build yours up again.
“Y/n help please,” Kai whimpers as you stood with your arms crossed looking away.
“Don’t fucking say her name,” Jungkook growled before punching your ex colleague in the face. You’re frowning, the need to beg them to stop was fighting for exit on the top of your tongue, but you bite it down and pray Kai doesn’t say another word. You know if you do as he asks they’d kill him. Your punishment was to watch silently.
Yoongi strolls up behind you, hands in his pockets before he rests his head on your shoulder, watching the display in front of you both.
“Nothing to say little love?” He whispers as your friend groans out in pain.
Please don’t kill him, you want to say, but you just shake your head in defeat. You want to believe they’re better than this, but the evidence of the contrary was never hidden from you. They showed you every side of them whether proud of it or not with bold eyes daring you to stop loving them, pushing your boundaries and morals waiting for you to snap. But the breaking point never came, you loved them, you shouldn’t and you knew it, but you did. You were completely and utterly theirs, yet still they treated you like you hadn’t seen the worst of them. Like you would run away the second you realised they were monsters, not that they would let you run far, only far enough to let you take a single breath before making you drown in them once again.
Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist, keeping an eye on your reactions. The asshole deserved it, not that they cared either way, he tried to take you away from them, that was enough.
Kai was your old partner before you took a very early retirement, what you didn’t know was that he continued the case you were working on before you left; the case of the seven men you now loved and the reason you quit said job. He had called you to meet up for old times sake and you, very naively in Yoongi’s mind, decided it was harmless. But if it was harmless why didn’t you say anything to the boys? You thought Kai didn’t know the reason you handed in your resignation, but he had been keeping an eye on you all before he realised you were the key to their downfall. He knew you harboured some feeling for him in the past and thought you’d reciprocate when he tried to flirt his way into getting his hands on the evidence you collected, he didnt know you burned it all. You lied to him and said you lost it, same difference anyway. This prompted plan b from him.
“Y/n they’re criminals,” he had said to you. “You’re a cop at heart you can’t love them.”
You floundered at his words when you realised he knew, and yet he still asked you to betray them.
“Kai I think I need to go...”
It was a mistake, you knew it then, but he followed you out onto the street and you hoped tonight the men you loved weren’t keeping an eye on you. Maybe naive was an understatement.
“Are they coercing you Y/n! Do they have something on you or are they threatening you?” He calls after you. “Because the Y/n I know would never love killers, what have they done to you?”
It was when he reached his hand out to grab your arm that your boyfriends decided to show themselves from the shadows. Which lead to the situation now, Kai beat up and bruised beyond recognition, and you forced to watch. He falls unconscious and they let him drop to the floor, you hate this side of them, it was cruel and cold but you’d never leave. They turn to face you now, their anger still present despite the last hour of releasing it onto your old partner. They don’t miss the way you’re shaking, the shallow breaths as you try and keep your tears to yourself. As much as you hate their violence, you hate their disappointment in you more.
——————————————————————————
You’re sitting in Joonie’s lap for what you call the debriefing of your punishment, this happened way too often in your opinion. You look down but he wasn’t having it today, tilting your head to look at him by your chin.
“Why did you get punished today little love?” He starts the same way as usual.
“I went out without telling you guys where I was going or who with,” you say while fiddling with your fingers out of nervous habit.
“And?” Hobi sits across from you in a chair, legs straddling the back and an elbow rested on top with his fist holding up his face. Hobi was hardest to pacify, he was ruthless and unforgiving and while that didn’t extend to you, you still had a hard time with his stubborn anger.
“I met up with Kai, and I let him touch me,” you’ve done this too many times before to not know how it worked. Kai’s ‘touch’ obviously meant nothing to you but for them it was the worst crime anyone could commit against their little love.
You remember the time you nearly tripped in the park and a guy steadied you politely, but you still had to hold Jungkook back from throwing hands.
“Kookie would you rather I fell and hurt myself?” No he hadn’t wanted that so he grumbled in agreement still seething but you cooled it down. “Instead of hitting him maybe you should thank him,” it was a joke but it made the youngest scoff.
“Baby girl why can’t you just be good?” Namjoon’s sigh brings you back to the present. “Why do you always have to test us like this?”
You didn’t mean to, you want to say it but the words are stuck below the sob in your throat. You actually whimper as his tone, bottom lip wobbling pathetically. He hadn’t even told you off properly, but you already felt like a mess as he bathed you in his disappointment. That was the common consequence of your actions and you hated it, you couldn’t do anything right.
——————————————————————————
“Jin do you need help with the food?” You ask your eldest boyfriend politely, he was frowning and you thought it was because today’s meal was too much for him to handle alone, his tone of voice made you realise it was because of you.
“No, I’m alright,” he doesn’t look at you as he speaks and you’re left gaping at him like a fish. Jin loved it when you cooked with him, it was your bonding time without the others, although Yoongi would join you from time to time. The others also tried but Jin wouldn’t let them anywhere near the kitchen, they hogged you enough anyway.
You feel your soul deflate, still standing there as he ignored you.
“Are you mad at me too?”
The way you said it made his heart twinge with guilt, but the others were right you wouldn’t learn and your first betrayal was still fresh on their minds. He sighs and you turn away, refusing to crying in front of them for the tenth time that day. What was wrong with you? Ever since that day where they found out who you really were you felt like you werent enough anymore, you tried so hard to make up for it all but you kept messing up. You weren’t like this before, but after seeing the hurt you put them through you were constantly on edge and second guessing yourself. You wish you could go back and stop them from ever finding out.
Jin hears the sniffle as you walk away and he can’t go through with it.
“Wait little love,” he calls for you. “I forgot to cut the onions, would you mind?”
You shake your head, you didn’t mind, but you didn’t trust your voice to answer for you. Youre grateful to Jin for giving you this task, it hides the fact you’re crying, but you know he doesn’t miss it.
——————————————————————————
Jimin and Taehyung were giving you narrowed stern gazes through dinner, it put you off your food which resulted in getting told off by Jin just after he branched out to you in the kitchen.
You felt alone, like the seven men you loved were against you and there was no one to blame but yourself.
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly before getting up and removing yourself from the dinner table and dining room, ignoring all of their stares. You decide maybe an early night is best, you could start again fresh tomorrow. You don’t get too far up the stairs before a hand pulls you back, you turn to see Jimin with Tae a few steps behind him.
You’re so used to seeing them laugh and play around that it feels like you’re looking at different people. Even during missions or gun fights, the youngest three were always joking their way through the bloodshed, keeping scores of who got the most headshots and other grotesque games. You remember the time Jimin and Tae called you during he middle of a shoot out, arguing with you and each other over who you loved more out of the two while you begged them to not get shot or killed.
“Why did you go see him Y/n?” Jimin asked, he wore the demeanour he used for enemies and it takes you back to that night.
“I... h-he said he wanted to see me to catch up,” you explain but you know it’ll fall on deaf ears.
“And you thought that was a good idea, to see your old cop buddy?” His tone makes you feel stupid, you weren’t stupid.
“He was my friend Jimin,” you say in disbelief, you know in the end it was a mistake but at the time it didn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.
“You’re ours,” Taehyung moved forward, towering over you even though he’s a step below you. His face is close to your own, eyes burning into yours as he looks disgusted at the words that left your mouth as if they’re still attached to you. “How do you think we felt when you went to see another detective? Do you have any idea what was going through our heads?”
“Tae I love you,” you lean away from him, searching his face for a hint of softness and love in his gaze, but there was only fire. “You know I wouldn’t, you all know I wouldn’t, I left that life for you why would I turn back to it?”
He stalks away from you without a word, Jimin close behind, giving you a final cold glance before leaving you alone. You thought your love could make them better but if anything you made their darkness worse.
——————————————————————————
Jungkook needed to vent, the only way he knew how was physically. Obviously it wasn’t the cleverest thing he’s done, taking rounds with the punching bag only to open up the cuts on his hand from beating the bastard earlier. He mutters a few curse words under his breath, why did you make matters worse? Maybe they were being harsh on you before today, finding any excuse to punish you a little, test your boundaries and see if you would run, but today they honestly feared that was what happened. They thought you chose to leave them and go back to the life you had before them, but they’d never let you go, they couldn’t let you go. Despite everything you loved them and they worshipped the ground you walked on. You were everything for them now, there’s be no point to any of them without you. Why didn’t you understand that?
He throws another punch to the bag, spreading his blood across them, it hurt like hell, but the thought of you running back to your old partner still played on all of their minds. He wanted to cry, he wanted to find you and beg you to never leave them, they’d be nothing without you.
There’s a knock on the door and he finds you on the other side, waiting for permission to come in. You never waited for permission, it makes him frown, maybe they were too harsh on you today. He could see you shuffling your weight, insecurity screaming through your eyes, you feared his rejection more than his anger.
He notices the first aid kit in your hand, you must’ve heard him. He doesn’t let the fluttering in his chest reach his face as he sits on the bench, waiting for you to come to him.
His gaze is expectant, daring you to cross the threshold and face him, you were no coward, you didn’t fear them the way others did, why were you behaving so meekly now? You force yourself to move and sit beside him, setting the kit down and pushing your hair back behind your ears. He doesn’t move his gaze away from you, even with the sweat and hair hanging in front of his face.
You carefully take a his hand into yours, sucking air between your teeth at how injured it was.
“I’m sorry you hurt yourself because of me,” you say, eyes on his bloodied knuckle as you press the ointment against the open wounds. “Are you sure you want me to stay, I keep hurting you...”
You try to sound like you’re joking, that you’re okay and the hurt isn’t weighing you down with your doubts. He frowns, they really did take it too far. He sets down the cotton wool from your grasp, taking both of hands into his before kissing each finger delicately without letting you look away.
“You’re perfect little love,” Jungkook says, reassuring you with no question in his voice. “We’re the ones who don’t deserve you, we’re mean and cruel but we’re never letting you go.”
You remember how loving they were before that night, maybe while they accepted the truth at face value they could never really forgive you in their hearts. Maybe that’s why they were being like this, they didn’t love you the same way anymore.
“Do you love me?” You had to know, the doubt was eating you alive.
He looks at you as if you’re insane, maybe you are, you don’t know anymore.
“Little love, don’t you see how much we love you?” He asks sincerely. “We would do anything for that love even if it made you hate us, you belong with us, and no one is going to take you away.”
You could see the crazed look in his face grow as he spoke, you believed him, the honestly worn like a heart on a sleeve. But his answer bought a wave clarity to your hazed vision, you made them like this, you made them worse, you had to leave.
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safetyrat · 3 years
Note
Please give us your thoughts on Bigb.
I. love him. thats it thats the thought.
hjhgffghj no i actually would love to write a fic focused on him/the fairy fort but i tend to feel like u have to get art n writing done within a week in this fandom? bc otherwise it might not be canon anymore, and im just not that fast. so i hope u dont mind me just dumping all the concepts here anon
so one, he and lizzie are besties obviously. they have one braincell collectively. he brings her human blood. its all very cute. i like the idea of her being like, kinda pushy and overbearing towards him and ren after cleos death? like "u will move in with me. u will stay save. ren u can stay in ur tower if u want but u will have a place stay here if u need one." idk how in character it is, but just,, them being kinda disfunctional, but very close and sticking together at all costs.
then there is bigbs relationship to ren, which is less clear imo? bc obviously from lizzies pov she was relatively trusting that ren wouldnt kill her as the boogeyman, while cleo was absolutely not ("i took bigb away from there bc i dont trust ren" cleo... cleo u doubted ur wrong ally whos the boogeyman... cleo...) i think bigb agreed more with cleo? but he didnt really say anything about it. him reflecting on the different ways they went about being boogeymen would be funky to explore though. generally i dont think theyre close? but also it was ren who begged lizzie to let bigb stay intitially which is very interesting. i suppose they both sympathize with him a lot. also is that just me or does bigb treat ren more like the defacto leader of the alliance than lizzie? there has been quite a few times where he was like "ren said this" or "lets wait what ren says". im just saying, with all of rens and martyns talks, this might not be that inaccurate 👀
give me all the most awkward conversations about what happend. have them make a joke cleo used to make and cringe so bad when they realize. somebody calls someone else a superstar and they just die instantly. just,, them trying to act like everything is normal when it very much isnt. acting like there isnt somebody missing.
late night conversation between bigb and ren when neither can sleep, something along the lines of:
"why do you trust me?"
"because ive been there too. and i know youve learned ur lesson."
"huh?"
"you wouldnt do it again if you had another chance, right?"
"i mean..."
"you would?"
"...is that a bad thing?"
"..."
"not if i knew she would become red but-"
"because you wouldnt want her to come after you?"
"no! thats not what this is about! she was my only chance to cure myself, i had minutes left. and- maybe im naive, but i thought she could be ok as a yellow, maybe not with me but somewhere else. i thought i could make it up to her one day. the choice was between one new yellow or one new red, ren. i would have lost her either way."
"...ah, right. you dont know."
"what?"
"she told the shadow queen- she told lizzie and i something, before she left. bigb, she would have let you kill her if you had asked."
just jkhgfhjk. them. angst and awkwardness, and maybe domesticality in the place you would last expect to find any
i just like bigbs character so much man, i hope whatever ren and martyn have planned, he can be included in some way
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scribbling-dragon · 2 years
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What made you write your fanfics?
if we're talking in general what made me start writing, it would be because i was bored one day and we were in lockdown and i wanted to try and get better grades in english lang by practicing
if you want the specifics of why i started each fic, well, look no further!
growing pains: i found the empires fandom on tumblr (after binging all of scotts empires videos in one day). and was looking around for fics too and found aiahs. i read that. and then i found a piece of fanart with scott and semi-realistic antlers. and then i thought to myself. what if he actually GREW the antlers? and that fic was born!
shifting perspective: i read this fic one morning before school. and i had english lit that day. which is never good because it means im not at all engaged and looking for something else to do other than romeo and juliet. and i was still thinking about that fic. and i thought to myself. what if pixl WAS an old god. but the difference is that the gods are already dead? they were killed by his followers (shifters, because he could shapeshift in that fic) when he decided enough was enough a long time ago? and then i started thinking about how that would affect scott. how that would affect xornoth. and it just developed from there onwards (fun fact: all the notes written for the initial idea of shiftng perspective were written in galactic bc the girl i sit next to in that class doesnt know how to mind her own business)
forged in blood: i saw a post by sleepsaur. from like. last november about them being brothers. and i just went. yknow what, i could get behind that. and started writing for it. the original concept for it changed a LOT since the start of the rewrite. it was meant to be longer than it is going to be. and would have involved more of scott doing shit with his ice powers. but then i sat down and thought about it. because xornoth went through the same thing with their fire, theres no way in hell they would let scott go through the same
tommy smajor au: im counting it because im having too much fun with this! i read a fix where tommy sheltered in mcc (??) and scott adopted him. and i wanted to put my own spin on it
lifetimes apart (from a lifetime together): i watched jimmys last life video where he got exiled. didnt finish it and wrote a fic where he went to scott rather than his exile house. realised he got accepted back and slapped a 'canon divergent' tag on that thing
night watch: which is the vigilante au! thats what its going to be called when i actually get around to writing it, and i want to talk about the development of this one bc its the most interesting to me
so. last year when i first started writing. i wrote for the dsmp fandom solely. there were so many different ideas that i had in my drafts that just never got used. and one of these was a fic that was loosely based off of stranger things (because guess what my first fandom experience was!) and id done a rewatch recently before thinking of that idea. the basic premise was that everyone had powers and there was a little underground group of them.
anyways. a while ago (however long it was) i was clearing out my old stuff. and i stumbled across that and thought to myself. i could use this in a fic, adapted it to be a more modern vigilante au - and there we are! we've arrived at juno's vigilante au!
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askteamspirit · 3 years
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"So what made you reach out now?"
Azura took a second to wipe his eyes, gathering his thoughts. At least for now, the hard part was over. But now he had to explain himself
“It, uh kinda has to do with why I left in the first place” he started, eyes flicking away for just a second as if hesitant to bring that up again. “Did you…. Notice anyone strange pop up in the days or weeks afterwards asking questions? A Goodra, Typhlosion, or Dragonair?”
Kai racked his brain trying to remember. He hadnt been in a good headspace in those days, but….
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“Hold on, were you involved in something shady? Or just get mixed up in something we didnt know about??” Kai asked, concerned, his tail swishing a bit behind him
“N-no, nothing like that, at least, not really." He swallowed, again gathering his thoughts. Truthfully this was the first time he’d be telling anyone about this, about everything; even Rax and Zephyr hadnt had the chance to ask questions between the attack and him leaving.
Even thinking about the events still felt wrong, as if speaking about it would somehow bring teridax himself back from the dead to attack again.
“It’s… the reason I left home, and eventually made my way here. Their group tore my hometown apart. We never saw them coming and I still dont know why. I-I was the only one who-“ he stopped himself. His breathing had gotten erratic.
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For the briefest second Kai would have seen his eyes flicker away to something other than their familiar iridescent shades.
After a second to compose himself, he spoke again.
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That night I... lost control. Of that thing you saw my last day here. I hurt the leader bad enough to get away, but in the long run, it put a target on my back. So when I snapped again, with you there to see it, I just… I had to leave. I didnt want them to hurt you or Leon”
Azura stepped towards the wall to their side, leaning on it for support as though telling that story had physically drained him.
“But now… I dont have to be afraid of them anymore…. Theyre gone”
Kai, having followed beside him, remained silent, this new information about where Azura had come from, and what had transpired since he left sinking in
"G…gone? So you…?" His words caught in his throat. Kai had been in his share of dangerous fights but even now he hadn't ever...killed anyone. admittedly he was still afraid of doing it.
“Well, the Dragonair got taken in by Magnezone. As for The Typhlosion and a Charizard, new To their gang I think, well, we don’t really know what happened. Something in Infernape pass got the typhlosion, and the Charizard disappeared without a trace. And the Leader...”
He paused, arriving at the question he’d been avoiding. Part of him wanted to say he didnt because Teridax’s insistence on attack brought it on himself, or that he would have avoided it if he could. But as willing to lie to himself as he was
He wasnt willing to do it to Kai
“Yeah... I-I killed Teridax”
Another moment of silence followed
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"It must have been hard, but...with everything they did I think you saved a lot of people's lives in the future. you're a hero Azura. I'm proud of how much you've grown"
The Zangoose pulled his arm back before turning fully towards Azura "So....is that still something you don't have control of? the dragon thing?"
“Well, I think I’ve gotten a better handle on it at least. Not having that bottled up anymore helps, but”
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“I have to work myself up to use it, and I don't quite… feel like myself. It’s kind of uncomfortable actually. So I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it, or even using it”
Kai's couldn't help but feel concerned at all Azura had been through that he’s never known about. That he was still going through. But at least, for now, he was here.
"So long as you're safe, I'm not ready to have ya disappearing on me again ya know."
“Y-yeah, I’m never gonna do that again.” The smeargle promised. “I’m even gonna be here all week, so we have plenty if time to catch back up!” He continued, now feeling like, all things settled, he could look forward to this time together
Kai, on the other hand, could feel his heart sink, if only a little.part of him foolishly wanted him to stay forever with him again but....he knew that couldn't be the case.
"You know....It'll be hard once you go again...but at least this time I know where ya are...and that you're safe....that we’re okay.
"I'll have to come by there and visit you sometime, you have to show me the new friends you've made, the whole town!" He said, cheering himself right back up. Things probably wouldn't be the same, but that didn't have to mean there weren't still things to look forward to, or to be happy about
Seeing Kai’s cheerful disposition return brought a smile to the smeargle's own face “Oh, yeah! The guys back home are great! You’ll get along with em just fine!” He couldn't help but snicker as he added; “But, uh, you might be the kinda guy Zephyr ends up wanting to fight. It’s a compliment, though, I promise.”
The zangoose's ears perked up at the mention of a fight "Sounds like even more reason to visit"
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Opening his eyes again, something caught Kai’s attention. He wasnt entirely sure how he’d missed them till now, being to preoccupied by Azura just being there, maybe, but….
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They looked pristine. Almost the same as they had when Kai had first given them to him
"You still held on to these old things, huh. I'm glad...I probably woulda kicked your ass a bit if you had lost them~"
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Kai smiled down at his old friend, reaching out to grab his hand
“Well, then, if you’re only gonna be here for a week, we should get going!”
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blxetsi · 3 years
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Hi there! I love your work!! So I know this sounds a little niche but, could we get headcanons for a reader in a polyamorous relationship with Hange and Miche please? Hope you’re having a really good day!
NO BEXAUSE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEINE TO REQUEST POLYAMOROUS STUFF OMGGGGG 😭 ty for your service anon it means a lot 😔🙏
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hange and mike dating headcanons (canonverse)
zoë hange x gn!reader x mike zacharias
warnings: polyamorous relationship, and titans ??, reader is kinda innocent ?? like just easily wound up
also this is going to be SO fucking long and focused on hange for the first long bit sorry !
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btw this isnt rlly dating headcanons so much as backstory, how you met, and shit leading up to actually getting together i went so fucking overboard and went the complete opposite way of what you asked ill do a part two with ACTUAL dating headcanons if youd like anon just tell me and ill do it
- i think you wouldve worked for garrison originally
- in season one when hange started the experiments on sawney and bean thats when you would've met them
- you had been a big fan of their research studies for a while, so being in front of someone you thought was so cool was a little nerve wracking
- you had just became newly appointed as a captain for a garrison squad, being one of the youngest recruits to get the position, which also meant some people thought you couldnt handle the job
- you were good at telling others what to do, and guiding them when needed, you took over the leader role very quickly, you had to if you wanted to keep the position
- although you thought you were a good leader, others didnt
- specifically older members of garrison who thought because you were so young, youd be naive
- and since you were a garrison captain, you worked closely with hange and moblit during their experiments
- any request they made for supplies or anything, went through you and youd get it for them
- they needed more help ? youre requesting three soldiers to the experimentation zone immediately. anything they needed you helped with, because you liked helping
- hange had quickly grown fond of you, they were so thankful that you were so willingly to have your squad help them. you remember the brunette grabbing your hand and saying "thank you for your dedication to this project and to science !" while bowing multiple times
- as unsanitary and childish as it was,,, you didnt wash that hand for a day
- hange saw how some members of your squad treated you, and it may have irked them a bit
- causing them to rant to moblit while writing down research data
- "hange." "i just dont get it, why dont they say anything ? theyre so nice so why dont people respect them like they should-" "hange !" "what ?!" "youre writing down captain l/n's name on your page !" "so what ?!- wait what" this causes a night of bickering between the two of them 😐🤚
- when sawney and bean died hange was devastated. you had grown to like the section commander as a friend and respected them greatly, so to see their hardwork and research all go down the drain was hard
- you immediately went into leader mode and started ordering your squad around "listen up ! i want this whole perimeter checked and searched for any evidence to help us find out who did this." a couple members groaned, and one man, who was in his early thirties made a comment about it. "theyre just stupid fucking titans. we're supposed to kill them, not keep them alive for some freak to experiment on them."
- yknow,, looking back on it maybe you shouldnt have went off on them the way you did, but you did because not only was the man questioning your authority and orders, he was blatantly disrespecting a section commander. "i am your captain. i am your leader. you will respect me, and you will listen to me. you either do i say or youll be suspended and taken off my squad immediately. and that goes for everyone ! do i make myself clear ?" you shouted. the man who had talked back raised his eyebrows, youd never once yelled or demanded things be done in a manner like this, and it clearly shocked him when you stood up for yourself.
- a bunch of murmurs came from your squad and you dismissed them, but not before stepping in front of your soldier in front of everyone. "between you and me ? you should be discharged for not only your blatant disrespect and defiance to me for months now, but also for your innapropriate and degrading comments about section commander hange. you wanna pull some shit like this in the future, not just to me but to anybody ? you should kiss your position in garrison squad goodbye, since youre too childish to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself. now grow the fuck up and go do what ive asked please." the man looked scared as he stared at you, no one had seen you act like this before, his jaw clenched as he nodded and walked off, the rest of your squad dispersing with him
- you didnt notice hange calling your name until you felt their hand on your shoulder. you turned around and saw their sympathetic gaze on you. "thank you for defending me. are you okay ?"
- you rubbed the back of your neck and answered. "honestly ? i feel kind of bad, like i embarassed him or something." the survey corps leader tilted their head back as they laughed. "youre so kind y/n, but im proud of you." the comment, although lighthearted, struck a cord with you
- a couple days later you were requested to meet with not only the section commander but commander smith, as well as your superior, dot pixis
- the meeting only lasted about thirty minutes, but hange had boasted about not only your leadership skills but also your knowledge and ideas on various sciences. erwin decided to offer you a position to work under hange, and dot pixis agreed to have you transferred to the survey corps if you agreed.
- did your decision have to do with your crush on hange ? maybe. would you ever admit it ? no.
- pixis explained to you that youd be honorably disharged from the garrison regiment before being moved to the scouts' headquarters in trost
- you surprisingly got along well with others there. working in hanges squad was fun, and even though you were demoted from a captain back to a cadet you didnt mind
- hange had offered to share as much knowledge as they could with you, which led you to be in their office (as messy as it was) after work hours
- and thats where you met mike
- well, got to know him
- hange introduced you two when you first joined and the first thing the section commander did was NOT shake the hand you held out for him but to lean down and sniff around your hair and neck
- your face felt hot as you stuttered over your words, thrown off by his,,, unique, greeting
- hange and laughed and lightly pushed him away, before explaining to you that thats just what mike did
- back to being in hanges office
- for nights on end youd stay up together in their office, two chairs huddled beside one another while you read through books of research, not just from hange but from published scientists and anthropologists too
- mike had started joining you two only three days after you and hange started
- he would stay quiet, but would sit next to hange making them be sandwiched by the two of you
- after that you started to notice him more often
- down the halls he'd send you a small smile, which you brightly returned
- sometimes he'd be in charge of training that day, and he would wordlessly help you position your arms to properly block or punch when sparring with other members
- then he started bringing tea when he would come and listen to you and hange discuss different theories, articles and information together
- you didnt even know the two were dating until you accidentally walked in on them in hange's office
- they werent doing anything dirty, just giving each other a kiss, but you had walked in on them with a stack of papers captain levi told you to give to hange.
- you kinda,, stood there, slackjawed, while the two pulled apart slowly to look at you. hange had a mischievous grin on their face while mike just gave you a blank stare
- you dropped the papers. the stack of documents levi tasked you to give to hange. you dropped them. How Embarassing.
- your face began to feel hot not just from seeing them but also because youre embarassing yourself by dropping the papers and just standing there like an IDIOT
- "uh,,, i- captain levi said to give you those documents you requested." your voice cracked at the end making you wince
- "you mean the documents that are spread out on my floor now ?" hange asked. you looked between them and the floor, then at mike, then back to the floor than back at hange. "yes." you said, and you could feel that warmth in your face spreading to your ears now too. "im sorry." you exclaimed, your voice sounding strained as you quickly walked backwords and closed the door in front of you
- you started avoiding hange and mike after that, and became hyper aware of everything that they did. they were TAUNTING YOU 🙄 you could feel it
- instead of small smiles in the halls, after you started ducking your head down when you saw mike, he would now give you head pats when you crossed him
- hange would let their hand linger on your shoulder or side as they shuffled past you during meetings or experiments, and would come closer than usual when handing you documents
- mike would give you teasing smiles when you got your ass handed to you during sparring
- and finally you were fed up ! did this count as workplace harassment ? you didnt know but you wanted answers ! so you went to the source, hange's room after dinner
- you didnt bother knocking, you just walked in with your eyes closed
- hange giggled, "what are you doing y/n ?" "making sure im not walking into something i shouldnt be seeing, section commander." "by that do you mean the kiss mike and i shared ?" "yes." "well we're not kissing right now." they said, and you peaked one eye open to be sure they werent lying, and they werent !
mike stood up from his chair and slowly made his way past you, closing the door. you took a deep breath before throwing all of your word vomit on blond and brunette duo. "so i dont know why you guys think teasing me like this is fun, but it isnt. it makes me flustered and nervous and feel weird and im not sure if it counts as abuse of power but i dont like it so it needs to stop." you huffed in a big breath of air after saying all of that, and hange rested their head in their hands.
"y/n do you have a crush on me ?" they asked. their voice was soft but they still had that stupid smile on their face. you could feel your face getting warmer by the second. your mouth opened and closed but no words came out.
" i uh, im gonna leave now." you turned around but hit something hard, and looked up at mike looking down on you, a smirk on his face. he put his hands on your shoulders and turned you back around to hange, walking the two of you over to their desk. he gave you a slight push, causing you to put your hands on the desk and lean on it, while mike kept his hands on you to keep you from running.
hange leaned into you, your noses barely touching. "i only ask because, mike and i have grown very fond of you." they said. you nodded a little bit, the tips of your noses brushing against each other.
"yeah well, id be a little sad if my superiors didnt like me, that would be kind of bad." you replied.
"can i kiss you ?" they asked.
and now is when your brain really stops functioning. thoughts fill your mind of mike and his relationship to hange. are they actually together or is it a friends with benefits kind of thing ?
"i uh, i cant kiss you." you replied, a bit breathlessly caused by both section commanders.
"why not y/n ?"
"well i'm not a cheater, or a homewrecker. i mean i assume that you and mike are together so, im not going to kiss someone in a relationship." you stammered out. this was making you very nervous, butterflies errupting in your stomach. you knew they were just teasing you, goofing around to make you flustered, but a part of you hoped youd be able to kiss hange, and maybe mike for that matter.
they chuckled a bit, before their brown eyes looking behind you to mike's towering form. "honey, can you tell y/n its okay if they kiss me ?" they asked. mike let out a small laugh through his nose before leaning down.
"only if y/n promises to give me a kiss afterwards." he whispered. he pressed a faint kiss to your temple, and you shivered from the contact. he was warm, very warm, and even though it was such a small amount of contact it did so many things to you.
you gulped before bringing your eyes back to hange. you looked to their eyes, and then to their lips, and continued that pattern silently in hopes theyd understand. you didnt want to be teased anymore ! you wanted something to happen.
hange got the hint and smirked, before leaning in again and lightly brushing her lips against yours. theirs were soft compared to mikes chapped ones, and the kiss was so slow, so innocent, it had you leaning in for more. it was a slow, lazy kiss, a kiss to test the waters, it helped calm your nerves, but also made your nerved explode with heat.
finally the researched pulled away, and put their hands on your cheeks, squishing them to pucker your lips, before giving a kiss to your forehead, nose and lips one last time. they let go with a soft smile on their face, and a blush of their own.
you could feel mike press his body down against yours, making your knees buckle slightly. he took his right hand off your shoulder to place it on hange's cheek, thumbing over the red pigmentation. he then turned your head up and to the side, before giving you a kiss of his own. this one was a bit more dominating, hard. his chapped lips scratched against your own but you didnt mind. in a weird way it made you feel at ease, having him take control of it, the same way hange did but his was just more, needy.
he pulled back with a shaky breath and looked at you before looking at hange. "so y/n," hange began. they stood up and made their way around the table, mike pulling himself and you up straight so hange could sit on the edge, pulling you in to stand between their legs. being sandwiched in between mike and hange made you so aware of them, and even though you were very new to something like this you felt weirdly safe and secure. "mike and i genuinely care about you, and we want to be with you the way that we're with each other. would you like that ?"
honestly, how could you say no ?
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thats it again im sorry the anon who requested this you did not get what you asked for 😭😭😭😭 hope u all enjoyed requests r open stay safe
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