#and also! buddie shippers who actively hate tommy… what is that about

[queerdiazs]

some of you forget that it was originally going to be eddie and tommy but that storyline fell through so for all you bitching about how we’re never going to have a canon queer eddie… baby he already is. we’re just waiting for his turn.

[sevensoulmates]

Hi I just wanted to say I was on twitter and saw someone discussing and sharing your meta posts and I was genuinely intrigued and curious because you guys are obviously so devoted to the buddie couple and it's really endearing. And I was just really interesed about this perception of the couple you guys seem to have because is so different to the other side of the fandom I'm actively interacting with. I'm obviously a B/T shipper and only got into the fandom because of them but I'm really loving the show (currently I'm on season 5). I'm just curious about how is it that you guys see buddie as romantic when I think their interactions are clearly platonic, they obviously have a deep relationship, an intimate friendship but no more that that.

Again, I'm not trying to hate I just wanted to ask because it looks like the buddie shippers are settling themselves for disappointment just waiting for them to go canon. You all are obviously loyal fans and I think that's lovely but I honestly just don't see the show writing Eddie as queer now and I really think Tommy is here to stay (I think there's too many signs pointing to this fact like the buck actually episode and the old guy named Thomas). Again I'm not here trying to hate because I think you guys love the ship genuinely but I just wonder how is it that after all the things the shows portrays you guys are still rooting for buddie. Please feel free to ignore my question if I'm annoying you, I really don't want to come off as rude I was just really interesed in the topic.

There are a boatload of reasons why I and many other people ship Buddie. Most of them are far too long to get to in one ask like this because Buddie have had 6 years worth of material to sort through and it would just take far too long.

Long story short: in the same way that Buck was confirmed bisexual over the course of a single episode after years of many people saying Buck could never be anything other than straight, Buddie could be made canon in one single episode and it would be accepted just as easily even though it's been years and a lot of people are still saying they could never be together.

It's TV. The writers can do whatever they want. The second they decide to start bringing in more explicitly romantic things, people will suddenly start "getting" it.

To be more precise: I think it's easy for people to see a ship like Bucktommy and latch onto it because it's very clearly, explicitly queer. It's a lot harder for people to believe in or "see" ships where a queer couple hasn't done anything explicitly romantic like kiss or hold hands, etc. It's unfortunately due to heternomativity and the sad death of the slow burn. I can't really do anything about either of those things.

For me, the primary reason I ship buddie is because of the deep special bond and obvious family they've built over the years that feels different from every single other relationship they've had with literally anyone else on the show. That includes Tommy, Shannon, Abby, etc. You can view it as platonic if you want, that's anyone's subjective opinion.

You seem like a sweet person, but you're also coming into the show with a bias towards Bucktommy, which is fine. They're what brought you to the show, they're the ones who initially intrigued you, and they're also the only ones currently explicitly queer. I get it.

I am going to be so honest with you: I think the show has been writing both Buck and Eddie as queer men for many many years. But just like how Buck was only allowed to confirm it this most recent season, they haven't been able to confirm it for Eddie just yet. I could write essays and essays about how Eddie is so obviously deep deep in compulsory heterosexuality and has been almost since the beginning, but it would take too long. There's plenty of posts I and others have made all over tumblr and on my blog.

Slow queer burns featuring characters that aren't introduced in the first 5 seconds as queer are almost non-existent, they very rarely happen in popular media, and because of that it's almost impossible to ship something without someone coming at you saying "they don't see it". Fact of the matter is that Buddie is one of the easiest ships to "see", if you were looking at a man and a woman, but they're not. I can't really convince people to see what they don't want to see.

If you're curious about the specifics, I'd encourage you to go through my blog/meta or other buddie-positive blogs on tumblr to find many talented and intelligent individuals who will have a lot to say on why they believe in buddie.

When it comes down to it, I don't think the fandom at large is ever gonna believe it until they see it. That's kinda just human nature and the state of how we all consume media right now.

But once the show does go there, they're gonna be like damn can't believe I didn't see that until now while the rest of us sit here like "we've been trying to tell you this whole time."

In the meantime, I'm enjoying Bucktommy for what it is, for however long it lasts, and I'm gonna enjoy buddie just the same, regardless of if they go canon or not, or how long it takes.

[inell]

About Me

I'm Inell (she/her/hers). Forties. Ace. I write fanfic, and I've been actively writing in fandoms since 1999. I’m a fandom old for sure! Current fandom: 911 (Buck/Eddie) and Teen Wolf (Stiles).

I am basically a Buddie mono shipper. I have written Buck/Connor, Buck/Tommy, and BuddieTommy since joining the fandom, but my heart belongs to Buddie.

I don’t care what other people ship; I filter things I don’t want to see. I’m very anti-drama in my fandom space. I try not to reblog hate against characters or ships that I don’t enjoy because I have friends who do enjoy them. My general motto is that fandom is for fun, and I’m going to spend my minimal free time focusing on things I enjoy, not hating on characters/ships that I don’t like.

Currently accepting 911 prompts from this list.

Also accepting Buck/Eddie prompts from this list.

Inell watches 911 live blogging

I started writing in BTVS with Willow as my OTC. Then I moved into Harry Potter, where Hermione was my OTC. I dipped my foot into the Star Trek XI fandom, where Kirk/McCoy was my OTP, and Avengers fandom, where I wrote a long Steve/Clint series.

I am currently swimming around in Teen Wolf, where Stiles is my OTC. I have a long crossover series that’s Stiles/Bucky Barnes that I’m updating sporadically. I’ve also done a deep dive into 9-1-1 fandom, where I enjoy writing Buck/Eddie and FireFam.

My Ask is always open if you want to chat. I’ve been around fandoms since the days of posting boards and egroups, into the live journal era, and beyond. My general philosophy is ship and let ship, and not my kink but enjoy yourself. I don’t like drama and hate in my fandom experience. I do block tags, and I try to curate my experience. I have never had a ship I love writing in fandom actually go canon, so I tend to live in the fanon & love it. Now, if my current ship did go canon, I certainly wouldn’t complain! But I won’t stop shipping it regardless.

I like writing happy endings and romance, and I ride the wave of the muse in terms of spamming fic when she's talkative and possibly going days with nothing if she stops talking. I’m always happy to be tagged for fic I might like & I like chatting about fic and fandom.

Prompting Me

My Ask is always open! You can prompt me or send me questions/comments on fic/whatever. I can't promise to write every prompt that I receive. I prefer general prompts, like a ship & a dialogue prompt etc. You can find prompts that I’ve reblogged in my tags. If you have a rating restriction or an AO3 account, put those in the Ask. One prompt per ask.

I generally don't write M-preg, age regression, adult/baby play, scat, emesis play, necrophilia, rape/non-con, extreme underage, non-consensual adultery/cheating, hardcore BDSM, pain play, humiliation, character death, watersports, sounding, tragedy, dark fic, unhappy endings etc.

If you happen to send me a kink/prompt not on the above list that I realize I can’t write, I’ll let you know unless it's anon. I tend to like happy endings, romance, fun tropes, smutty times, and plot that is more centered on friendships or relationships than Big Bads etc. I have a fondness for either the getting together, the first times in relationships, or slices of life in established relationships. Really, if you’re familiar with my writing, you probably know what’s safe to prompt and what probably isn’t!

My Fic

My Fic on AO3 - Best place for all Teen Wolf & 9-1-1 fic as I’ve post everything there from 2015 forward.

My Fic Archive - This is best for finding anything written from 1999-2015.

[lenaboskow]

i don't really understand how you can group a bunch of shippers together and spread harmful narratives.

I ship both and I LOVED bucktaylor. when I said that on a post pre-season 7 I got swamped with hate by buddie shippers (obviously no tevan shippers then so idk how that wouldve played out).

I genuienly don't understand why this fandom is so against multishipping. Like do people not watch a show for the plot? if you're watching a show and only are focused on the potential of one ship, do you not get bored? do you not think its harmful to speculate on how actors feel about each other? if so then what about the ryan stuff?

I'm genuinely confused about all the double standards at play and the guilt I'm feeling because I like a canon ship. the spreading of hate for having an opinion is so toxic. its a minority and a loud one, but you don't have to spread their voice. it's a double ended blade, you push a constant negative opinion others are going to push back.

*when I say "you" I'm not just talking about you the account but all the people that have become "shipping police" since 7x04, both the loud tevan and buddie shippers

i can't speak for everyone, but most of the posts talking about people dropping buddie for bucktommy are about the monoshippers who've been here for more than just this season, who actively participated in buddie spec, and dropped buddie the second tommy kissed buck.

also, i haven't seen many buddie shippers spreading "hate" so much as i've seen them standing up for tommy's character being trash. i'm sure there's a few outliers, but most of the actual hate i've seen has come from the monoshippers. not sure what it is with them and dropping buddie, dropping eddie like that, but...

that being said, all my hate about the ship is directed towards tommy the character, not really the fact that it isn't buddie. i also loved bucktaylor before they ruined her character (though i much preferred them as friends) and she's the only li i can't read bashing of without feeling guilty because at least she had a personality. with tommy, his personality is literally just eddie on a white man.

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

It’s definitely a majority of newer fans who both don’t get the history between Buck and Eddie, but also who don’t care. They came into the series because Buck kissed a man, as well as already knowing the rep that a lot of Buddie shippers tend to hate all the women love interests. So their entire experience watching the first six seasons is clouded by wanting be contrarian.

Which is not a terrible thing since the women didn’t deserve the hate as they got, but rooting for bi!Buck while actively ignoring the relationship built between him and Eddie just so you can not be called a Buddie shipper and champion for Tommy once you get to that season, is weird.

That said, my post was mainly because I was trying to scroll the tag and was only seeing post after post after post about Tommy being the greatest friend and love interest Buck has had, so I was being mildly petty. Because Buck has great relationships with the people in his life, and Eddie is extremely important to him regardless of if they become a couple. There is no need to punch down on him because folks want to uplift Tommy, but they don’t seem to get that.

And I know there are Buddie shippers who punch down on Tommy, but I’ve said before, they’re the same people who dragged the women. So at least they’re consistent. This new wave of drama is purely because Buck is bi now, and a lot of the shippers who defended the women no longer care about them and are actively dismissing Buck’s past relationships to praise Tommy. Which is hypocritical and very common in fandom, but goodness is it annoying sometimes. Especially when it’s as unnecessary as it is in this context.

Heya! There's a lot of magical overthinking in fandoms because it comprises a very large group of different people from different places writing essays about a text (like the nerds we all are). Fandoms are kinda big tutorials and when things become toxic it's a little like when academia becomes toxic. Do you know how many articles I've read that were basically hating on the previous article? I was an English Lit Major— there are entire novels that are aggressive refutations of the arguments made in other novels (so much effort).

Toxic divisions in fandom aren't so much about people trying to be contrary or consciously hateful. It's fear of in-group rejection and trying to say something bigger about themselves, their experiences, and their beliefs and using a text to do so. Cycles of creating in-groups and out-groups within fandoms (which is what ship wars do) is more about what state the individuals are in, and what they're trying to communicate and signal about themselves then it is about the characters or relationship. Protecting a fictional relationship becomes about protecting the ego, the pride, a world view, a sense of self, of self worth, of decorum... Etc. Therefore, a position is chosen and ground cannot be ceded because doing so is an ego death and others doing so feels like a betrayal.

It's why I hate ship wars so much. It's not about the bigger picture or the queer narratives or about championing anything. If it were then conceding would be easier. I could say something like, "I think the writing for Karen, and Buck and Eddie's love interests is misogynistic but indicative of network television" and it wouldn't feel like an attack. Instead they'd want to expand and evolve my points on misogynistic storytelling. I could talk about how the choices they made with Buck and Eddie were homoerotic, how denying it is unhelpful, without triggering a flurry of passive aggressive refutations. Instead they'd want to engage in why television storytelling is full of socialist brotherhoods (thank you Chinese danmei fans for that term). I could talk about how honestly amazing it is that Buck can explore an attraction to men at all, no matter who he's with, without it feeling like I'm hurting people. Because it is a big deal. I'd argue Stiles and Dean were more bi-coded and they absolutely weren't coming out of that celluloid closet.

Speaking of Dean. Another thing that ship wars do is choose an enemy. This can looks like one side making an enemy out of the institution of television itself and that being the justification for harassment (it's not). When that happens the other side can overcorrect by being the institutions greatest protectors and that becomes the justification for harassing fans in the out-group (it's not). However, unlike people in television who have systems in place to deal with harassment, disenfranchised queer fans do not. And, honestly, the thing that made me hate Supernatural was not Destiel. It was watching a young woman tell Jensen Ackles that Dean meant so much to her as a bisexual woman and the room turning on her immediately. An overcorrection. The rage I felt as I watched her tremble as they boo'd her... I can't watch Supernatural without feeling some echo of it.

[sky-is-the-limit]

I saw that someone broke the bucktommy situation down in spn terms and I want to expand on that a bit further so that hopefully you can understand how deeply frustrating this whole situation is for buddie shippers.

So not just did a third of the destiel girls jump ship, they immediately started actively hating and destiel and calling anyone who is still a destiel girlie delusional and denying any possibility that castiel is anything other than straight, and like a third of your favorite destiel blogs and fic writers just completely abanonded destiel and completely rebranded for this new ship and started writing only for them. like some of the most passionate destiel shippers immediately left simply because they got dean being bisexual and that's enough for them and they never actually cared about destiel or how queer coded castiel is, they just wanted to see dean kiss a man and as long as dean stays with this new man they are 100% certain to have that. so they cling to this nothing ship with this bland ass character and come at destiel shippers for actually wanting a ship with substance and history between characters who actually have chemistry. and now that the destiel shippers are pointing out hints that point towards castiel being gay and destiel being endgame the new shippers are completely denying any possibility of it and are proving that they never gave a shit about castiel as a character or his struggle as a clearly gay man. they just wanted dean to be bi and kiss a man.

oh and also a bunch of new people joined the fandom after bi dean became canon and they simply don't watch any of the previous seasons because they don't actually care about the show, and then they start speaking about dean and cas as characters as if they know them at all when they have clearly never seen most of the show.

like i cannot express enough how nothing of a ship bucktommy is. almost everything about them is either made up by tommy's actor in paid cameos, or just fanon. they had very few scenes this season, only had two very uninteresting kisses, their chemistry is just really lacking and the vibe is kind of off. and i'm not saying that you can't like a ship that is mostly fanon, i know people base ships off less than this and i genuinely don't care, but it's weird to then completely discount a ship that has been brewing for 6 seasons and pretend that the people who have been following that ship for years are just crazy.

The more yall explain it in spn terms, the more I get sucked into it and I'm not complaining.

Yeah, I understand the frustration because I know I wouldn't even be able to handle Dean, towards the end of spn, dating anyone other than Cas, especially after all they've been through.

But making people feel crazy for it, especially when one is canonically bi, is insane.

What I said on that as an outsider, is that it'd be cool for once to watch the writers/producers take the most loved/popular ship between two queer*coded characters and make it canon.

The dynamics are also different when it comes to a new character being introduced as a love interest and a main character that a large part of the fandom ships with the other main character.

Now I don't know much about Bucktommy as a ship as I've only watched their kiss scene but I understand the frustration of Buddie stans.

I'd lose my fucking marbles if Dean came out towards the end, only to end up with a newly introduced character and not Cas 😭 and as a Cas girl having to watch people shit on him and Destiel just because Dean came out, nah. People would riot outside the CW offices.

Anyway, I'll keep watching the random s6 episodes they show on tv and hopefully that will make me watch the entire thing!!

Yall are making me want to read Buddie fics, stop it before I open a new ao3 tab

[atiredfangirl]

Why do you dislike Bucktommy and Tommy so much? Is it due to his last behaviour, or better yet, that he didn't stick up for Chim and Hen and was, therefore compliant? If this is the case, aren't they showing that he has changed by showing that he is now cool with Hen and Chim? I'm asking as a black queer person.

Or is it because they've become quite popular in a matter of weeks? If so shouldn't people be allowed to ship, write and enjoy what they want?

Also, isn't it hypocritical of you to ship Buddie when the actor who plays Eddie has expressed some awful racist and homophobic views and things?

Since I had never posted about Tommy on this app before today, I am assuming you found me on Twitter and came here to ask this anonymously, but if you follow my Twitter, you can see that I did not hate Tommy or Bucktommy to begin with.

Yes, I was hesitant when they brought him back because of his history with Chimney and Hen, but I was not one of the fans that “hated” him. I was willing to give the character another chance. But I also haven’t forgotten if “honestly if I thought about you at all, I probably wouldn’t” or how he was compliant with what went down at the 118 before Bobby arrived.

But I was willing to forgive that because he seemed to have changed a lot! When 7x04 aired, I retweeted several tweets supporting them because even if I am a Buddie shipper, I can respect that this is a big deal for Buck and I’m really and truly a Buck stan at heart. Literally just want the man to be happy.

Then 7x05 aired, and after seeing how nervous Buck was, he still made that stupid little closet joke in front of Eddie, knowing damn well Buck wasn’t out to Eddie. That wasn’t okay with me (also as a Queer woman), and then he leaves Buck alone on the sidewalk, doesn’t even tell him until the Uber is there that he called one for himself.

And now I’m watching the sneak peeks for 7x06 and he’s put zero effort into dressing up for the party (being on call is a weak excuse - it’s not like he’s going up in the helicopter in jeans and a Henley - he’s gonna have to change either way) and even the Henley comment felt condescending and rude.

I’m not delusional, I’m well aware Buddie may never happen, but either way, there’s no way the writers are writing bucktommy as endgame either, so it’s not like it’s coming from a place of fearing he’s a threat to Buddie. I just don’t like him for Buck. It’s not new or personal - I’ve had reasons to dislike literally all of buck’s love interests. I just wasn’t particularly active on social media about this show before this season, even though I’ve been watching it since it began.

As for Ryan, I don’t associate the actor with the character. I learned a long time ago that if you want to enjoy fandoms and ships, it’s very important to separate characters from actors.

[scoupsahoy]

Okay, so I made a post few days ago detailing as to why Buddie fans hate Tommy so much. Might wanna give it a read. https://www.tumblr.com/chaoticbiguysblog/759077831483457536/i-feel-like-initially-most-people-were-on-the-same?source=share

I feel like you're only focusing on what Buddies say to BT fans and not what comes from the other side. People have literally called us homophobic and what not for not shipping BT, and that's like the most PG comment I've gotten.

You're obviously coming from a good and genuine place, but I hope my post cleared some things about why people dislike Tommy and his fans so much. As for expanding on the racism and sexist points, ofc people grow, but he was shitty to two fan favourite characters, you don't see everyone advocating for people to like Taylor who has also hurt Bobby, Hen and Chim so why are we obligated to like him?

Thank you for this!! And I agree! I fear my intention in writing the post wasn't entirely clear because I do agree! And I read your post and I think it's really well put! You are not obligated to like any ship I would never say that!!

Sorry for all the exclamation points it's just important to me that you know I'm being genuine when I say that.

Though, side tangent, I care way more about character analysis than I care about like. Ships? I like Abbie. I like Taylor. Not in a "I think they're good people" way but in a "I think they're interesting people with clear motivations and interesting trauma" way. So I love Taylor I love that she's fucked up and I love that she has problems and I love that she's a little freak who in canon self-flagellates with sex. But that's me and that's sort of where I'm coming from even though I am a Buddie shipper I am way more interested in character than I am about fandom interpretations of fuckin anything. AND I think in my post I do literally say verbatim: I am not going to tell people they HAVE to like/forgive/give the slightest shit about ANY character, least of all Tommy, who I mainly find boring at best and annoying at worst.

My post is largely about fandom etiquette. I do even point out in that post that the BuckTommy retaliation of "oh so you guys hate gay men" among the other ridiculous shit is immature irrelevant and annoying. I'm not doubting AT ALL that there are BuckTommy shippers who have said heinous, racist, backwards, and inappropriate shit. I have seen a lot of it.

My problem is that Buddie shippers by and large have been inappropriate on a much larger scale and JUSTIFIED it by saying that anyone who ships BuckTommy is 1. fetishizing gay men 2. racist by proxy 3. literally belongs in a mental hospital. None of these things are actually true and none of these things are moral justifications for treating people like shit. (I mean you can treat racists like shit but god isn't that exhausting. Especially when it's like. You are making an assumption that they're racist because they like a ship that some people who are racist like. That's really it.)

BECAUSE and this is my BIGGEST point: you do not need a moral justification to dislike a ship, or dislike a person. There are AT MOST like 150 active BuckTommy shippers on twitter. And most of them are fucking with you. You (the Royal You, not like. You Personally. I'm sure you've literally done nothing wrong I'm sorry if this is coming across as aggressive) can block them and you don't need to make an example out of them. The need to justify MORALLY that These People Are Doing Something Wrong for Consuming A Piece Of Media In A Way I Don't Approve Of is the problem that I have.

[eddiegirls]

i suppose you can extrapolate some info off that poll still but no way it's actually representative of the fandom as a whole for how they feel about tommy. because i know i'm only one person but i had the op blocked so i never saw the poll until now lol (i had to hunt down what poll you were talking about from your other post). and i suspect i am not the only one to have them blocked!

also like and dislike is so binary. i dislike him but i have plenty of mutuals who are just kind of meh ambivalent about him

totally agree lol and i think this is the problem with all 911 fandom polls right now - everyone has each other blocked so we will never be able to accurately sample either side.

and same. i honestly think a lot of buddie shippers used to lean more ambivalent about tommy rather than actively despising him....IMO part of the situation is that buddie shippers saw how mad their hatred of tommy makes BT shippers so they started publicly hating him more out of spite 😆 it's very funny to me

[buddiekinard]

It's so difficult to know these days, especially when you're new(er) and it's not your or their fault but I see reblogs of awful people all the time. People who were very pro tommy in the beginning and basically told others who were skeptical of him or wanted something different for buck that they were homophobic or just insane about buddie and now they're so anti and only want to see eddie - as if it's mandatory to hate buck by proxy

I haven't seen that, tbh. Like I am not saying there aren't *annoying* people all over fandom. That's just part of fandom. But there's a difference between 'this person is kind of annoying and i don't want to see their opinions so i won't follow them' and 'this person actively and knowingly harmed actual real people with their violently homophobic posts and then laughed about it when people called them out'. like that is very much a thing that happened. I am a firm believer that it's a very very small percentage of people that are nasty in any fandom but in this fandom it just so happens that on one side of fandom those nasty people are sending real people harmful things - csa content, death threats (literal actual death threats and things like 'kill yourself') and on the other side the nasty people are like 'i hate your ship and it isn't going to happen' (which, again, is annoying, but ultimately not actually harmful).

i think asking someone to really think about why they were skeptical of tommy when there was no reason for it and having most people parrot off homophobic rhetoric as their reasoning is a fair enough reason for people to be wary of it. people were literally calling tommy a groomer (buck is a grown man), saying he clearly wanted eddie but he settled for buck (because i guess a gay man can't be friends with a man he has a lot in common with without wanting to fuck him and despite being able to see his lil crush on buck in hindsight), saying they would beat him to death if he flirted with them (a literal hate crime defense that people have used in real life and managed to convince people was a literal reason that made murder of a gay man okay). the gay and queer men in this fandom have had plenty of reasons to question people.

i don't think *everyone* who dislikes tommy is homophobic. i don't think every buddie shipper is in with those guys and i think this is a huge fandom and it's fair if people don't know the ins and outs of it, so i'm not judging too harshly. this is maybe the biggest fandom i've ever been a member of and it can be really overwhelming. I *am* a buddie shipper. I actually love them a lot. I actually would love it if they were endgame. But I do think at a certain point there are lines people shouldn't cross - ie, Lou has gotten death threats from Buddie shippers. Like what the actual fuck. The 911 instagram should not have to delete comments. Again, I think it's a small percentage but I also think it's a loud percentage and it makes people wary.

I personally have seen posts going around tommy tumblr about buddie and buddie shipper that have made me roll my eyes but that's the worst of it. They haven't triggered me or made me so upset i was sent into a panic attack. they haven't set off alarm bells in my mind that made me feel like i was being forced out of a fandom i love because I am a queer man. But I have seen that from the other side, and that's the biggest difference.

I apologize, anon, if any of this comes off as aggressive. I really don't mean to be. I just want to explain the difference and why it's hard to both sides the argument. We just want to see more Buddie shippers distancing themselves from the people who think the harmful behavior is funny. You don't have to suddenly love tommy or ship bucktommy. but just think about the posts your reblogging and the type of rhetoric the people posting them are promoting.

And hey! I didn't know for a long time in this fandom. I followed some of those people. And then I figured out what they were about and I stopped. That's all we can do. Work with what we know. And by all means if someone says some things about Buddie that annoy you just unfollow and/or block them if they have to. But saying buddie shouldn't be canon is at worst saying a ship isn't real. it's not being violently homophobic or triggering people with csa or graphic murder fic on purpose.

I have friends on both sides and i love a lot of buddie shippers so this isn't about buddie shippers in general. it's about a specific subset.