#and also don't come for me bc of where i'm buying some stuff from ok

[unreadpoppy]

Saw a video and it got me in a mood so i'm making this post.

I don't think people who have never been fat knows how fucking hard it is to find clothing for bigger bodies.

The first issue is finding stuff in your actual size. Because time after time after time and time again I've gone to a store and they only had small and medium sizes. Not even large. And this was not for a few clothes, no. It was for MOST clothes that I found interesting. And then the ones that were marked as large were simply not big enough.

And I know that the reason for that is that brands simply won't make clothes for fat people. It's that because it surely isn't because the large size is selling out fast. They just don't do it. And some people have the nerve to say 'well brands are not obligated to make sizes for everyone' yeah sure, but also, I can't walk naked on the street can I?

Like I don't get it. 'oh but we want our clothes to fit a especific body' so fucking make clothes that are supposed to fit bigger bodies. Doesn't have a to be a whole ass collection.

And then we get on the second problem which is making clothes for plus size people that are ugly as hell. It's always the same stuff: ugly florals, animal print that belongs in another decade, cold shoulders, that weird extra fabric at the end of a shirt to hide the belly, or just black/muted colors.

Like fun fact. If you have big boobs, the hardest thing in the world is trying to find a bra that comes in a color that isn't white, black or beige. Because trust me, I've spent 3 hours walking in the shopping mall and I couldn't find anything that fit my breasts that was like pink (and in that situation I needed a pink bra for a play).

It feels like most clothes made for plus sized people are designed with like 50+ year old white women in mind, and not even that demographic of people are wearing those clothes (my mom is a plus sized 50+ year old white woman and often talks about how ugly some clothes made for people her size are).

It's hard trying to develop your own sense of style when none of the clothes around you are in your size, and when they do, they are just not good looking to you.

But you wanna know what's the down right worst part? Do you know what fucking brand has clothes that look good and are amde for bigger bodies?

The goddamn cancer on this earth that is Shein.

I fucking hate shein. Fast fashion is killin the fashion industry, they literally have people working as slaves and many influecers buy shein clothes by the bulk only to then throw it in the trash. Shein is awful.

But. Unfortunetly, shein is the only place that I found that had clothes that fit me and looked good. I don't like that. I avoided buying from shein for the longest time ever, but jesus christ, when you can't find clothes anywhere else you get desperate.

I tried looking for other places. I tried looking at my local clothing stores and everything was too small for me. I tried looking at online small bussinesses but they either didn't make my size, or it was sold out, or the prices were very high. Tried looking at thrift stores, also didn't find my size.

I try not to buy too much from shein or to spend long periods of time in between buying, because again, I feel bad about buying there. I don't want to buy from there.

Clothing brands/stores gotta do better. And I don't think that's asking for too much.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hello there, friend I'm here for fluff

OK, this has been on my mind for a while

But like

The reader is just becoming the biggest parent to the Benny's adventure team kids

And the wolfs

We are like a parent of like 27

Knitting and making food brushing razors hair(let's be for real, you would hear a crunch when you brush it)

I'm not gonna lie

Do these kids know what spices are?

Cuz when I think about it

Razor hasn't had shit so he's has the least tolerance for spice

He would probably cry if you feed him a pepper

Bennett has tried spicy food but does go well with it

And not completely sure if fischl has had a spicy food before

But what flavor does mondstadt add to their food??

These kids need the damn flavors

AHDHAKALL FERAL ANIMAL AQUARIUS- ANOTHER PLATONIC ASK AAHHHHGGGGDJJSFHSAK!!!!!

AND ITS YOU!! ITS- ITS- ONE OF THE WRITING RULERS OF SAGAU (FOR ME AT LEAST) <3 !!!!!!!!

You cooking in genshin all anime studio ghibli style looking like food from god (literally): ⬆️

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Benny’s Adventure Team! (Bennett, Fischl, Razor), Diluc, mentions of other Mond characters

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

^^ The posts being referenced in ask, (OG Razor ask) (Benny + Razor) and a more direct sequel, a part 2? a part 4 atp?? of this post (Imposter/Not Dark AU + Razor + Diluc) ^^

OMFG

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP BITCHES

SINCE UR IN TEYVAT

YOU GONNA COOK LIKE TEYVAT

AS IN-

SHIT BE SUPER EASY TO COOK, AND MASS MAKE DEPENDING ON COMPLEXITY OF DISH

(So, like Zhongli's special Bamboo Shoot Soup is like getting made... once a year if you read the little desc. for that dish 💀)

AND THEYRE ALL LIKE-

ANIME GORGEOUS FOODS ✨️❤️‍🔥

OKAY SO

PROMO TIME-

U GUYS HAVE TO WATCH THE ANIME "CAMPFIRE COOKING IN ANOTHER WORLD"

Bc that's mostly where this inspo gonna come from to both be realistic cooking + best parts of video game cooking

A guy gets isekai’d and instead of hero powers he just gets the skill of "online grocery shopping" LMAO

and ofc he gets insta gifted whatever he orders and starts making dishes and adding spices and regular stuff you know. like soy sauce.

but the best part is the food in that world is like British medieval soup shit

like barely salted, no spices definitely, no sauces, its barren

so he ends up attracting all kinds of interest that want to eat his cooking ofc

And it gives buffs too!

dw i didnt spoil anything u don't learn in the first episode, but that's just to say that's exactly whats happening here

u DO have to manually collect more ingredients but its so worth it, also u can just buy in bulk or put a commission thru the adventurer guild

tbhhh now that i say that, that could be how u end up drawing in Benny’s Adventure Team even more, bc they just take all ur quests for collecting ingredients around Mond!!

(u have to actively sneak behind their back and whisper to Katheryne that you want to put in other food quests in other guilds tho, silly kids will absolutely go running around Liyue and crazy shit just to have an adventure and do smth for you + eat ur banger food lol)

omfg the first time u barbecue smth???

the wolves, Razor, and Andrius??? Go feral.

Fischl and Benny who were already on their way to u guys to hang out again start booking it thru the woods, dodging hilichurl camps (thatve since settled down and been v peaceful to the wolves + anyone in the woods of Wolvendom after u started living there)

they knowww ur cookin smth fucking amazing

(and u even have some hilichurls and mitachurl that wander close to Andrius’ edge of the woods to shyly beg for scraps,, u give them a portion)

Razor was actually lookin at u like u hung the stars just for him when u gave him a homemade barbecue sauce to put on his food

(u acc may have done that to Teyvatians according to Andrius + the stories u overheard from Springvale…)

ok but the amount of begging u get for desserts like-

No, Razor u cannot have chocolate cake/cupcakes after every meal, u need to take care of ur teeth

(u use ur collection of mora-monster-donations for comms for more ingredients and living supplies like fabric + furniture, u cant afford dental on top of that for ur boy)

Fischl dutifully declares you the “best chef in the kingdom” and writes down all ur recipes (u have them auto-stored in ur settings obv but it cant hurt to have a physical copy, and they look so happy doing it, u don't have the heart to tell them its not necessary-)

Benny insists on both giving u extra ingredients when he takes ur commissions, and giving u handmade trinkets or weapons for the meals!!

No!! He will not take “im good” for an answer!! ur sharing ur home-cave with him, taking care of his best friend Razor, and now feeding him food better than Liuli Pavilion!!! There’s no way he can just take all that and give nothing back!!!!

and theyre not the only ones getting some food tbh

when the knights begin patroling near Wolvendom and slowly all of Mondstadt to search for their “All God”, u break up the beginnings of a fight between 2 confused knights and the now peaceful hilichurl camp at the edge of Wolvendom

U offer some snacks u were going to give Benny’s Adventure Team when they got back (u made little triangle sandwiches, rice balls, etc. finger foods, and u made plenty extra bc u kno their teenage appetites lol)

the knights and hilichurls nearly cried with appreciation, which made for a hilarious sight when the teens actually showed up lmao

ur wearing ur cloak, bc u dont wanna take on that whole “creator of worlds” title just yet, and the kids helped verify u werent anyone suspicious (Benny + Fischl keep ur godly secret, theyre the best like that 🥰)

the knights just swing by for snacks occasionally (they also either pay u in trade or with mora, theyre not bullies)

another person who gets flavored food privileges is the lazy librarian witch herself

u also sometimes pick Razor up from Lisa’s tutoring and bring “the best tea and tea snacks in the world” along with to share with Lisa and him

(she is also fully aware after awhile of meeting u of what u are, and fully believes this is why the food must be enchanted to be so good, but u dont want to be treated super reverently she can tell, so she keeps ur secret too and is just extra flirty when u come by lol)

(Razor refuses to let his pare- Lupical move out of ur cozy cave to the library, so he sometimes hauls u away when Lisa flirts too much LMAO)

…and the moment you've been waiting for.

Yes, Diluc got to try ur food that night he was searching Wolvendom for signs of the god of Teyvat

tbh Diluc was half-convinced that shit was a fever dream.

a bunch of sleepy wolves, a coffee table in the stone colosseum, a giant spirit wolf licking a big plate clean, the wolf-kid glaring at him, and you.

you with gold eyes, staring right thru his soul, like you already know everything there is to know about him, (like the way Kaeya looked at him that night),

like he doesnt even have to introduce himself

and he doesnt, u just lightly smack Razor’s hands until he gets rid of his claymore w/a pout, since Diluc had long since dropped his,

and grab a plate, piling on what leftovers u could, and turn back around from the coffee table to smile at him, patting the cushion-seat beside u for him to join

The giant glowing wolf licks his lips and watches him, the wolf-kid’s creepily watches him, and you, with eyes gold in teh light of a simmering bonfire just past the table, watch him

he just sits down and begins to eat.

its the best food he’s ever had, its his dad’s favorite dish, but not realistically, but the way memory embellishes a dish so much it can never be tasted again, except its right here. in front of him. u pour some wolfhook juice for him, and offer him a napkin to wipe his mouth and eyes

Diluc visits often after that, obviously.

u give him snacks too, and when he lets the staff try some, Adeline will not stop harassing him abt gettin ur recipes/ingredeints so u get him to pay Fischl to get a copy of their recipe book :)

including blank pages for future entries, and Fischl is literally glowing with happiness, would not stop monologuing abt ur food for weeks (send help Oz wants some peace and quiet sometimes)

Oh Diluc absolutely told the Favonius knights he found you. But he’s not saying where LMAO

Jean is actually begging him, Diluc ik u hate the knights but this is an international investigation-

this is the closest Diluc has ever gotten to getting under Venti’s skin.

when he told him this at Angel’s while bartending, he just casually ofc said this, just his smug little smirk, and the anemo god cracked a glass and everything- esp when he said he tried ur cooking??

he's gotta start looking over his shoulder in the city bc not only is Venti stalking him, the entirety of Mondstadt’s citizens are glaring at him in envy everywhere he goes LMAOO

(Venti now has a bar glass or too on his tab to pay off as well)

mans is literally paying u in weapon/artifact materials/mora to make him lunch one day and Venti nearly lunges over the counter

(Diluc purposefully ate it in front of him 💀)

ur food is the ultimate, “u could make a religion out of this!” /ref

like Diluc fully gives u offerings of ingredients he can pay for shipping from other countries + along with regular materials after grinding in domains

does the rest of Mondstadt + the world find out where u are?

only if Diluc lets them tbh. LMFAO

☆

bk trashfire my beloved <3 love ur ideas and stuff, goes without even saying im so sorry i took actually forever to respond :’(

hope u have a great weekend and i did this little side story justice for you

Safe Travels BK Trashfire,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[drakudoll]

Sugar daddy older Chris who at first just wants some type of friendship with young reader. But as they keep meeting, Chris asks if you’ll be ok with having sex…

I think he’d a little nervous bc it’s been a while but he uses your moans as a signal to keep going

I def think he’d make you come at least 2 times…

Oh I just wanna fuck older Chris (imagine sucking on his hairy chest like a baby…)

💐

now i present- older!tech!ceo!chris... listennnnn

Older!Chris literally saw you at like a library event where they have a gaming/tech thing every friday and watched you from afar while you and your friends sat around and played dumb shit on your switches or something

Older!Chris starts asking you about certain things with the games because he too plays them and then you guys become bffs and lowkey yr friends r like hm. weird.

Older!Chris who invites you to his place but then realizes how weird that might be and states he just wants company and you end up going over

Older!Chris who loves your company and loves to show you different things- will blab about his tech stuff and then one day he asks if he can buy you something... wnd it's.. expensive- something you'd been saving up for that Chris had spoted you checking the price of it practically daily due to you being over every day now

Older!Chris who gets in the habit of just paying for everything- you guys getting closer.. maybe you growing a horrible crush and one day stopping coming over as much and this alarms Chris which.. leads to-

"I'm so sorry- if i did anything wrong to drive you away i had a feeling you'd find the situation weird and i absolutely get it."

"No.. no.. it's not that, Chris."

"Oh? What's wrong? Did something happen to you? are you okay?"

"Chris-Yes. I'm fine. i just...i started crushing on you.. and i didn't want it to be weird.."

" Ah, lucky for you. I sort of also started to, have further feelings "

Now your in bed with him. And he's letting you ride him first- knowing his size is... ah- a bit.. larger than anticipated?

Youre riding him slowly and Chris's hands don't know where to go as he breathes heavy and moans under his breath. you notice and grab his hands and place them onto your bare chest- manually squeezing your boobs with your hands over his.

"Touch me- please.. need more of you, Chris.."

"Fu-fuck.. yes goddamn it. whatever you want baby."

He's got you cumming on his cock like 3 times by now- your legs are tired and you can't keep yourself up but you want more, he grabs your hips and flips you backwards onto the bed, his heaving chest leaning down close to press into yours- the soft blonde hairs brushing against your nipples as he leans down to kiss into yours neck.

With him being older his body is much larger and stronger than your own, his body covering yours like a blanket while he thrusts himself slowly in and out of your soaked, sore cunt.

"Yes-yes baby... mhm.. takin' me so well..."

[jgyllenhaalstannie]

ᰔPrank Wars ᰔ (Steve Grant x Reader)

This is kinda long and I did not mean for it to be and i don’t even like it. So uh yeah. Enjoy

A/n- this is very very VERYYY old and my very first moonknight writing☠️So if this is bad I apologize,I've made some edits so it's not too terrible hopefully. Also dropping this bc I've been putting off that Ken fic😞

✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧

You and Steve have been dating for a while now, and one day you decided to catch him off guard one day. He was getting ready for work when you took his name tag the night before while he was asleep and put it in his bathroom cupboard. "Love, have you seen my name tag? I can't seem to find it." You hid your smile as you shook your head. "No I haven't, maybe check on the table? " He nodded lightly as he turned away confused. You began to think you went a little far since he can already barely process things well. A few minutes of thinking went by when you heard a voice in the bathroom. "Love, why is my name tag in the bathroom?" He came out and saw you chuckling. "Did you put that in there?" He smiled slightly. "You cheeky little devil." He walked over and lightly kissed your forehead. "Goodbye love, I'll see you later."

Steven is finally home but you left to go the store to buy some more food. It's pay back time. He takes your slippers and hides them under that bed. You hide his tag, he hides your slippers, it's only fair,right? You're finally home, tired from carrying bags and of course you would wear shoes that hurt like hell after too long. "Steven, can you help me out here?" He rushes to the door to help you, grabbing a few bags from your hands. You aren't thinking about anything but getting your uncomfortable shoes off and slip into some much more comfy ones. "You alright, love? You don't look too sharp." Steven asks placing the bags down.You sighed, ploping onto the couch and peeling your shoes off. He watched your relief as you began to search for your slippers. "Sweetheart, have you seen my slippers? It would be today that I can't find them" He shook his head no and quickly turned away from you. You quickly caught onto his act and played along. "Really? They're usually right here." You pointed to the empty spot in front of the couch. You glanced at the bed, seeing the pink fur peaking under the mattress. "Steven,love,I can see them under the bed." His smile slightly drops and awkwardly plays with his hands. "Well I tried, I'm not that good at.. pranks.. and stuff like that." You walked over to him and leaned on his shoulder. "It's ok, not everyone is a prank master like moi." You kissed his cheek, grabbed your slippers and walked away.

You and Steven went on a small date to have some time to yourselves. You were holding hands when Steven felt your grip slip away. He figured you went to go look at something else so he wasn't too worried until a couple of minutes went by and you didn't come back. He texted you asking where you were and still had no answer. You only weren't answering him because you wanted to end the prank war once and for all.

'Hey love, where are you?'

'Love,are you alright?'

'I'm getting worried where are you :('

' :((((?'

He was so scared you went missing when you were really just on the other side of the store. You quietly snuck up behind him and blew into his ear. He quickly jumped and covered his ear. "Bloody hell! Christ, you scared me." You stifled your laughter as his face relaxed after the sudden adrenaline rush. "Bollocks, I thought I lost you. I didn't know where you were." You looked at his shaky hands and grabbed them. "I'm sorry I got you scared, love. But this war had to be settled one way or another." He looked into your eyes, relaxing his breathing, knowing you're safe. "Yeah, you win this one. "

✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧

[carmenberzattosgf]

Hi, precious Olive, me again. And I came to ramble a bit, hope it's ok. <3

So! I had such a weird Carmy thought recently and I feel such a bad need to share it with the masses bc I have this theory/headcanon in my head on this matter idk.

I already mentioned at some point that I have a BIG FLUFFY dog, but I also have two cats so.....if I move, they come with me, y'know?

And recently, out of nowhere really (seriously, idk where this came from) a thought possessed me. Given my fluffy children situation, if Carmy asked me to move in with him (I'm delusional???), I'd obviously have to take my children with me. And like— what are our thoughts here? Bc I personally feel like he'd have a hard time sharing his space with them, yk what I mean? Especially with Bella (my dog) bc she requires a lot of attention and obviously morning/evening walks. And the whole pet owning thing requires a lot of time in general, obviously. So I feel like, in some way, he'd be a bit hesitant about it.

Wanna hear your thoughts on this, like what is the vibe here in your opinion?

Also sorry about that score on your test/exam. Hope you know you tried your best, you're soooo smart like I personally don't know shit about chemistry and all that stuff so to me you're like — the smartest person alive.

(if anyone has their own thoughts after seeing this rant, PLEASE share? If Olive is ok with it, ofc, it's your page, love, duh.)

— 🦫

Hello to you my precious 🦫 anon! Pls ramble any time I love it when my anons ramble.

Okay okay so I have thoughts and ideas. One I think Carmy likes dogs for sure! He just doesn’t have the time and energy for them. Now cats… I think he would like them if he was around a sweet one for an extended period of time. He’s just hesitant with cats.

Now okay about moving in with him and said animals. I think it would depend on the size of his apartment? But honestly one dog and two cats wouldn’t take up the most space ever. I think his main concern would be having pet hair on him all the time? But I think he would eventually get over it. I gotta be fr I think he would HATE litter boxes. He would buy one of those stupid expensive litter robot things. That would be his one thing that he would have to have before letting cats in his apartment.

All and all though, I don’t think he would mind pets as long as you take the most care of them. Like of course he’ll let them out and feed them if you’re not home, but bros at the restaurant too much to completely care for a high maintenance animal.

( about the test, it’s all good now bc I made a B! However I was literally at a 79.78 which barely rounded up to a B so I made it by the SKIN of my teeth)

[leavemetobeinpeace]

I was exhausted after the day.

Didn't fall asleep well, had a bad dream & idk if I was sobbing in the dream & woke up to near-sobbing or if I woke up sobbing & quieted down, woke up early but fell back asleep, woke up again, & then from 8.30 in the morning I was busy; I had to help my mom with all her stuff: get her meds, make her breakfast, find her cane so she could do physio, teach her how to count in Cree so she could at least entertain herself while counting her reps, put her sling on properly; loaded some dishes but I forgot to put it on, I had to call some radio research group I'm on, & by then it was noon & mum was doing Duolingo so I opened it up for the first time in a while so I did Duolingo, & we wanted to leave by 12.30 (it was actually 12.40) to fix our windshield because some tiny little crack disqualifies our vehicle from my road test, we had to sit there for an hour or so (& I finally texted one of my elders who is a Michif teacher), I wrote in my notebook, & my mom & I were confused about when she took her meds bc she apparently forgot to take her note but eventually we got out of the shop but even that was stressful, especially in the parking lot trying to sort out where to put the papers & trying to decide if we were going home, going shopping, buying lunch, picking up my prescription & therefore going to a different grocery store where I can drop off my prescription, ugh but eventually we figured it out; so then we went shopping & one of the carts sucked & mom disappeared & there were several instances over the day when my parking/driving was bad but I blame it on the fact that my mom is a little out of it & I was listening to her when I would have been better off driving on my own, so anyway we go shopping to just buy a couple essentials, we didn't want to do too much bc she was tired, I gave money to the store in exchange for protein bars & while I was doing that I had the cart away from the pharmacy area because I just feel awkward & big when I have it there but I did find the acetaminophen uh anyway so I went back but the cart was gone so I was stressed but I found mom & the cart but then I had to go back to switch some halls for the 10-for-10 bin but THEN it wasn't actually correct so I had to switch that out AGAIN & I had to pass by this poor lady three times when she was behind us in line but I miscounted so I didn't get my 0c drink but idrc, anyway we got out of there; some trouble w driving/parking again & unloading groceries, little bro actually put away my legitimately purchased protein bars which kind of scared me but it was ok, & then I had to separate my basil & it was already 5pm so that's basically a regular 8h shift of Doing Stuff & my flipping basil took me an hour to just separate because it was overgrown in the tiny pot & there were too many & it was sooo sad, & I also had to grind my bones & expired vitamins to fertilize my dirt because I don't have real potting soil, I didn't even mention that we had to do physio again & I had to get her her ice, anyway, soil stuff, I was supposed to help mum wash with baby wipes & a sponge, & help brush her hair with dry shampoo but I didn't get around to it, I was planning on making some food for supper but I was so tired that I needed a break. If it had just been us I would have just put on some soup cans but my uncle was coming so I wanted meat (only bird or fish for me bc Wednesday in Lent) & I wanted to make smth low sodium, then mum decided to use a skip the dishes gift card that she'd gotten as a modern equivalent of a casserole but it was So Hard because none of us had any idea how to use skip, uncle was talking so much & it annoyed me, I still had to do stuff in between my basil btw, anyway my uncle left to pick up my brother from work, the start of sυρρer ended up with me yelling at everyone (not loud just snapping) & I forget where this post was going.

(this is why I'm cidal, this is NORMAL but it feels so hard.)

My point was, I was exhausted by the time I was supposed to cook & then I was disappointed in my intake & I feel like I've had way more than this.

This was just an introduction to my log, holy smokes!

"I was tired so I didn't cook so we ordered food so I had two thirds & one quarter of various burritos & I feel awful."

I didn't even put much effort into good estimations.

I feel like I had, idk, abt 1 600 if not more, but it could have just been filling, & I did have 1 993/1 997 c after 7pm so maybe it just feels like that much bc I had so much all at once.

Ugh.

This sucks.

(I actually had several bites of miscellaneous things but I also didn't log my exercise so it evens out.)

[robotawakey]

was talking about gunpla today (kinda openenedly to a server because noone there makes gunpla or anything) and thought i should paste some of it here because it ended up being relevant to like thoughs for the future or something and i haven't had much else to post recently

yeah it's [making gunpla] fun though!!! it's a super nice way to kill time that still feels productive because i have something tangible at the end and i like robots and it gives me an opportunity to listen to music and sit there and work on something for myself without expectations of me idk i feel like expectations of me play such a huge part in how i feel a lot of the time even if they don't actually expect much of me i will play it upeven in like video games i just assume i must do the best and otherwise i feel like a failure and i don't think many people actually think i have to be the best but idk it makes it hard to relax esp. when playing with people i knnow are good or don't know how good theyare making gunpla is fun in the same way watching anime is for me at the moment, i'm not really in any communities around it (although i know there are tons) and it means that i don't have to expect myself to do anything to fit people around methere's like a ton of other factors too that make me prefer doing stuff like this alone (anime community is honestly pretty annoying i remmeber being told "it gets weird" like 40 times while watching evangelion and it just made me wanna notwatch anymore) (gunpla communities are apparently kinda competitive and elitist etc i am not spending 160 dollars on a slightly taller higher part count model of a gundam that i haven't actually wathced the anime they're in) and also it means i can explore and learn for myself which is nice i didn't use any tools during my first gunpla and during this one i'm gonna take longer bc i'm sanding and using wire cutterswhere i'm afraid it might bend or break more fragile parts when trying to twist them out and i think it's ok that i didn't know this the first time because it means i get to learn and make mistakes my first gunpla is missing a sticker because i didn't follow the instructions perfectly and now i am and it's going to look better but my next one (that i will prolly buy when in japan) will look even nicer and i'm ok with that because i'm doing my best right now and i think that's what matters but this loops back to gunpla not having any expectations there's nothing stoppign me from learning slowly or quickly i might find out in 3 models time that i could have been sanding with a special tool for it and that's ok idon't mind improving slowly even things that should be so intrinsically my own like my identity can leave me trying to work towarsd expectations because i know that in the future when i get estrogen (i like almmost definitely will) i'm not going to look like a girl, really i'm going to look like a fucked up boy at best and i'm not even sure if i want to look like a girl but don't i need to look like a girl to be on e like isn't that the point i can't just take it because of the partial feminisation right?? but like there's nothing stopping me just stopping it there (except maybe perscriptions because i think explaining i wanna be more feminine but not definitively a girl would go poorly with a doctor if they're perscribing be lifechanging drugs (which is where diy comes it but at the same time this means that what now i have to pass as a boy while taking e is that even any better will i be able to go through airport security or id checks if i have a male name on my passport and like aa boobs like what will happen then do blood tests get perscribed do ihave to tell doctors what if they stop me ))))) but ok now i'mspiraling i don't even remember how many openbrackets i left there here are some more closes just in case ))) i think if i just died this would be easier do u think they have gunpla in the afterlife idk it was actually kinda poorly articulated but it was a good description of my thoughts and i think still conveys how i feel i feel like expectations (and like, expectations i make up in my head?) play a larger part on my life than anyone else intends them to be and it kinda sucks

[bibookmerm]

getting my shit together

Ok, first of all: there are several skills I lack that it is becoming apparent I need to learn/improve.

One is driving. My wife and I are looking to get our first car. She needs it for work. She drives. Our roommate drives. But I dont. And I was just talking to my friend about how we can never get our friends together bc most of us dont drive/dont have cars. We need more gays that can drive, so I have to step up, lol.

Two. I need to feel confident hand sewing. It's not that I "cant". I know how to thread a needle and do a backstitch, running stitch, whip stitch. But I am very slow bc I havent had much practice, so it annoys me, so I avoid it. I have a dozen little fixes I could do and I should do those. People who sew regularly can do these things in like 10 seconds. I wanna be them.

Three. I need to learn to swallow pills BEFORE my top surgery in March so I dont have to be like "do u have liquid painkiller 🥺" because what if they're like "no". And also, needing an alternative is pricey. (this is something where I believe my disability comes in. Coordinating my muscles in new ways OR more quickly than usual is difficult for me. Like of course I swallow food every day, but normally I take my time chewing first, so to place something in my mouth and quickly swallow it feels daunting. That's the best way I can explain it. Just feels like a different ball game lol. My pcp gave me a trick to try, so I will try it.)

.

The other thing is, I am at a level of stress I personally find untenable. I am not wading through any major personal tragedy at this moment, so honestly I feel kinda like. Damn. Why is ~everything so hard~? Am I being dramatic? What happens when shit truly hits the fan if I am already unstable now? Well, I clearly need to put some measures in place now so I can tread water.

Such as:

Establishing a baseline level of cleanliness/clutter for the apartment. Aim for everything to be above that baseline most of the time, but understand sometimes it will sink to that level when something else must be prioritized above household chores for a minute. In its current state, I'm embarrassed to invite anyone over here. I want the baseline to be just, what I could deal with someone seeing. If I don't feel comfy having someone sit at my kitchen table or couch for an afternoon, it's too messy. I need to specifically write down the "acceptable level", get it up to that, and keep it there/above. This could also be a conversation with my wife and roommate to be clear on what everyone defines as acceptable and all work to keep it at whoever's ideal is highest.

Buying some wardrobe staples. My clothes not fitting is uncomfortable. I expect to gain more weight as I stay on T, sooo I should get some stuff that's a little loose now?

I've noticed I need more gender validation. I get misgendered constantly, working two public facing jobs, and I've started thinking some self depreciating thoughts. Maybe I need to work harder to counter these things within myself and not seek it from others, but yeah, this is one reason I need therapy. I had such a positive self image like a year ago and I'm losing it :/

Challenge my social anxiety. Another thing it's a good idea to have a therapist's guidance in. I feel so overwhelmed that I forget quality time with friends helps me recharge! I need to balance draining peopleing with healthy peopleing.

There's more, but if I can do this much, the stressors I cannot change should be easier to bear. Now to actually go set all the things in motion.

[masschase]

you can answer now or later but i’d be interested to hear you rank all the games

Getting drunk, want to ask me anything?

Ok I'm not there yet, I've had 3.5 shots now and I only feel a little tipsy but I'm wary bc my mum made this stuff and gave it to me last year so the % is a mystery. It may suddenly hit me while writing.

Anyway, oh my god so really like this is so hard because I know I'm not supposed to like 4 but you all know I do 😆 but also I find it really hard to rank games? To me it's hard enough to rank which of all the games/series I like I like best(fwiw I mostly rotate around Borderlands, Binding of Isaac, The Sims if it counts and obviously SR but there are definitely others that are my favourites on some days) and then SR I see as a whole in a way because of the way I've written it! Not a cop-out I swear like genuinely ranking is something I really struggle with and then I wonder if that's weird?

I guess how much I enjoy just hopping on them and fucking about them it's like 4, 1&3 joint, 2(probably jusr bc I've not played it much), gooh. And then I say this and I'm like what do I actually do on sr4 on my switch at the moment? Usually dress Casey up, take screenshots, leave. Anyway if I was looking at how well written they are I'd probably concede to 1&2, 3, 4, GOOH bc like 1 and 2 are linked for me like here's the thing. (Also I'm sorry but GOOH is something where I've used some plot points but a lot have been removed from my hc over time but I really didn't play that much of it. I liked that there were musical numbers though and giving me the new planet ending ofc bc thats been handy. But acrually... what would I have come up with without that ending but still following 4? I'm super curious)

Anyway back to 1&2. There's some stuff the creators knew in 1, right? That isn't *in* 1 but they knew it? Right? I've said before my favourite story arc just in terms of writing is just the whole arc between Playa and Julius. Idk nowadays I wish there was more like that in the later games. I wish the narrative weaved throughout a lot better. When I was first playing though I wasn't as concerned, like I always said I wanted games with an interesting storyline but I wasn't too bothered with amazingly written.

Also at the same time I like weaving a story around what we are given. Obviously I was intent on writing a romance. But I do sometimes think about writing the whole thing, in my canon adjacent manner. Start to finish. I see these games all spanning a matter of months so there is a lot that goes on that we don't see. But then again I lose confidence in writing it bc I lose confidence in my own oc. It doesn't help that I characterise her differently on tumblr than my fanfic because I started off just wanting to do silly cartoons. Like I never thought art as such, I thought... accompany my writing with a visual, you know? I thought if I started with some little moments I could work up to telling the more serious and/or romantic shit later I guess? Shout out to my friends I rp with for helping me get back to that more tangible real person Casey bc I obviously do love her. In her own way. Even if I don't want to. Kind of like SR4.

Anyway to get back to thr point I was going to say, this will not surprise anyone but I haven't sunk a lot of time into the games. I finished 4 years ago and restarted on switch bc I traded in my 360 version ajd lost my XB1 version. I finished 1 years ago and I don't have it anymore because I used to work in a game shop and could borrow most pre-owned games for a month, i should re-buy it digitally. I semi-finished 3 and then went back and finished it this year. And I haven-T actually finished 2, although I've watched it all which I know is not the same. 🥲 so yeah. I'm a fail fan. My brain wants to create and create and create things for this series (ok maybe not in the last few weeks but its still been on my mind. Like a lot) but I'm genuinely sorry if they're lacking in substance sometimes because of all of this.

I was going to replay them all in order this summer but I didn't. I have maybe an hour or so a day when I can actually play whereas I can write or draw or rp with smol people around or on the bus to/from work. When I worked in the game shop that really sucked out my passion for games. I know it sounds silly bc I was selling them not playing them but it did do that. I think it was mostly just having a full time job that did it and some of it being gaming was coincidal. But hey at least I played SR1 for free right? 😆

BTW I constantly think about if I went the route of having my SR1 Playa I made be the actual Playa, maybe sr2 Boss too and then Casey take over later and be the original age I guess I would've seen for her? Idk that would have been interesting. Don't think I don't love working it all into one too though! You know I have such a soft spot for baby Casey 😭 in fact of the in-game you've seen her the most. I mean think about it, most of my content is post-sr4 not during. Actually a lot of it is gap filling in general. It's something I like, obviously.

Just to go back to like... the shifting hcs thing. It's not super evident but a lot has changed since I wrote my fanfic. I'm not going to go crazy main universe, I'll save that for AUs. But there are a few things I've tweaked in the back of my mind because I've let go of canon a little. I used to be glued to canon, now we're in an intricate little dance. Anyway this is long enough already. I sort of answered. It may seem like a spineless dodging the point way. But I've said on numerous occasions my hcs change regularly, and the same is true here tbh. Its very mood dependant, what I want to play.

But if nothing else interesting comes from this I AM PURCHASING SR1. POSSIBLY RIGHT NOW. IT'S BEEN YEARS. I WANT TO PLAY IT AGAIN. :D

BTW I'm sure a little while ago I noticed Dex says "aight" but his subtitles say "alright" whereas Troy says "alright" but his subtitles say "aight"? Like if it was just one of them fair could just be the difference between writing and speaking but I think they're flipped? Anyone know what I'm on about?

[ultraphobic]

Hi Lane!!

Omg I forgot about the time zones haha. When I wrote that message, I still had December 8th. I understand why you didn’t watch live performances and it's okay! I can't watch some bands perform, especially if they don't exist anymore for some sad reason. INXS is an amazing band! Have you seen the TV series about them?

This glam festival promises to be really memorable! I really hope Michael will be there.

Omg!! The piercing master is great! Do you have any favorite types of piercings?

I hope I can see a picture of the Bandit! 200 playlists in Spotify is great. if you don't mind, I would love to explore your playlists because I feel tired of my music and I need something new. I understand about the Warrant albums! albums with Jani after Dog Eat Dog are not available in my country and now I want to order a CD, but it will have to wait a couple of months.

Wow, that's so cool!! And what do you like to draw? handmade T-shirts, in my opinion, are a very cute and memorable gift.

I hope you will be able to make all your travel plans come true! Do you have any fav sights that you would like to see?

Oh I'm really sorry that you are experiencing a lot of stress at this time :(by the way, when is your birthday? And how is winter going in Australia?

🎄If you could talk to any musician, who would it be?

🎄Do you play any instruments or would you like to learn?

🎄 How do you like to celebrate Christmas?

Your Santa ⛄️🎄

hey santa!!!

sorry for a later response i’ve been at a family christmas event all day 🥲

i didn’t even know there was an inxs tv series? i’ll have to check that one out!

glamfest lineup just came out about an hour ago as i’m writing this and the lineup is killer! slaughter and lynch mob are headlining which is awesome so i think i may just get vip… no michael monroe but thats ok! if he comes to australia separately that’d still be cool but if not it’s fine

i think my favourite type of piercing to do on other people is a helix piercing at this stage, but on myself my fav is just any type of nose piercing, bc i can do anything with them!

i’ll link my spotify HERE so feel free to check that out :3

& yeah it sucks that ultraphobic - under the influence is just so widely unavailable its like they just kinda want people to see their discography go from dog eat dog to born again which sucks because theres so much good stuff on ultraphobic, belly to belly & even the few new songs on greatest and latest (bad tattoo, keeping up with the jones, southern comfort) like… pls warrant i beg of u to let me listen

i had some fun doing drawings of shiny stuff - cutlery specifically i guess??? i think that was fun! & yea the silly shirts were also fun! i made one for my dad that just said “i am bald” which he hates but i think it’s hilarious

for the meantime travel is going to have to wait because i am saving for a surgery but i am hoping to see a tattoo artist in melbourne victoria to do a portrait tattoo eventually! in europe i’d love to see some ancient stuff & i’d also like to see some of italy’s vineyards :)

it’s actually summer right now for australia so aside from the general christmas present buying stress i’m actually not too bad rn it’s june-august where i get more stressy but again time zones and hemispheres are wacky so i understand the mixup - my birthday is feb 11! so a month and a half away!

summer is sooooo hot rn it was 38° yesterday (100° if you’re a fahrenheit user) i was just laying in the aircon sweating my ass off waiting for the heat to take me out but thankfully it wasn’t AS bad today

where are you from btw?

if i could talk to any musician… i’ll give you two answers because you didn’t specify dead or alive

dead: jani lane bc i love him and i think we’d relate on a lot of things

alive: patrick stump from fall out boy because he seems like such a sweet and intelligent guy and fall out boy got me through a lot of my teen years and i also think he’d get me

i do play a few instruments! bass is my main one that i’m best at but i also play guitar (planning on restarting lessons in the new year now that i have a job that pays me better), piano (sometimes), ukulele (again sometimes), and i have background playing small wind instruments (recorder, harmonica). i would love to learn the drums though! i also (try to) sing a bit but only rly in front of ppl when i’ve been drinking a bit and we do karaoke

christmas is the same every year really, we do a couple of extended family events in the lead up & then on christmas eve we each get to open ONE thing from under the tree. on christmas day we have lunch/dinner with my mums side of my family, which switches between three houses (our house, aunts house, mums cousins house). we do a secret santa for gifts at this but if you’re under 18 you get a present from every family. we used to go to church on christmas eve but since my dad’s not religious and me and my sister kinda stopped believing & my mum isn’t rly a fan of the catholic church as an organisation (shes still christian she just doesnt like the church) we dont do that anymore)

sometimes we drive around on christmas eve and look at the lights that people put up on their houses! a lot of people do that in my area btw just in case that sounds creepy

thanks for the message!!!

p.s. cat tax here is a pic of the boy

[dumpsterfirekitchen]

did you know you can make quiche out of whatever the fuck you want

well now you do and that's what I did today. see quiche is literally just an egg custard thing with some stuff in it in a crust when you get right down to it so when I get down to the ends of lots of ingredients sometimes I will put that shit in a quiche. I dont care if it's fancy and perfect I care that it's edible and uses up the shit in my fridge. Or in this case also on my balcony :)

Lets take a look at the crap I have to use up by today

we've got this thimble full of milk

Got some grated parmesan bc I grated too much for a thing I made the other day

got some dried mushrooms and ooooo

FRESHLY WASHED PORCH SPINACH FROM MY PORCH

you can turn this stuff into a decent fritatta tbh but I was feeling quiche mood

Here's what I do kinda, and I'm all about making it work without buying extra things

First soak the mushrooms in cold water for like an hour if they're dried like mine. The package says 5-10 minutes and whoever wrote that is out of their fucking mind and is telling you nothing but lies and if you don't soak them longer you'll regret it

I have little mini casserole thingies I use for quiche so I don't need much crust. And that's good bc I had about a thimble full of crisco too.

(but that's OK bc between you and me you can add a little bit of butter in a pinch to make up for what you lack in shortening and like you'll notice a little with the texture but not enough to care)

So this here (BTW my oven is preheating to 350 off in the background)

This is a couple tablespoons of butter and crisco and maybe half a cup of flour and a pinch of salt and I chopped it all together with a fork until it was the cornmeal texture you see. I generally know I added the right amount of fat when I can sort of smoosh it together as shown without water. But you do wanna add cold water.

Im at a high altitude so my water measurements will be useless to most people I think but basically you just need to add it by the tablespoon until the dough comes together in a ball. It shouldn't be a sticky ball but you don't want it dry either and don't like Knead it you don't want it stretchy. (If you're at a high altitude like me, DO actually make it a little extra wet to where it's sticky. You'll thank me later when you're not eating a crispy brick.) Roll it out to an 8th inch, then slice it up and piece it together in whatever [GREASED, DONT FORGET GREASED] dish you want to bake in. Then pop it in the oven for like 10-15 minutes. It should be juuuuust baked but not like Crunchy.

Anyway while that's happening I make the filling.

Do you want to know my secret

My secret is that this is the one time I will use a measuring cup.

I crack a normal large egg into my 1/3 cup and then add milk to it until its full

"but ej shouldn't you use a liquid measuring cup" SILENCE JUST BE GLAD I OWN A MEASURING CUP FOOL

dump it in your mixing bowl and then do that for 3 more eggs (well, your amount of eggs will vary. I think it's like 6 for an 8 inch pie dish. But see you know whats great about this method? If you didn't mix up enough eggs, that's ok! Crack another one in the 1/3 cup, add milk and a pinch of salt and pepper and mix it up and add it in) add a pinch of salt and pepper for each and whisk it all together till it's kinda homogenous.

Heres a picture of my next step which is layering the goodies

someone is going to tell me I should be using Swiss cheese I. DO. NOT. CARE. I hate Swiss cheese and these are for me I do what I want and this is fine and good. The dark supervillain secret that cooking shows don't want you to know is you can put whatever the fuck hard cheese you want. You can literally make the egg mixture and put whatever. Do you have some green onions and bacon and leftover terrible prepackaged cheddar? Put that shit in a quiche. Do you have a lunch meat and a couple slices of cheese that would pair well in a lunchable? Put that shit in a quiche. It's not traditional. It's not correct. Who fucking cares you're the one eating it. You gotta use that shit up so make it fun don't just put it in a sandwich man cmon. (I mean you can but)

Anyway if you're making a more traditional quiche you'd also add nutmeg to the egg mixture, but obviously I'm not doing that, so I skip that step.

Anyway next you ladle the egg mixture into the dish(es)

I put mine in a hot water bath but you probably don't have to do that, it just helps cook it evenly.

And check out the result

Nice and edible. ( It's not ugly you fool it's RUSTIC)

For me this took I think 25-30 min in the oven (which I left on from the crust....I tend to reduce the temp and cook longer though. In this case I reduced it to 230 and turned it off after 25 min or so. Basically when it reaches 165. I don't know if that's right and I don't care 165 kills the germs so I'm not doing it below that. You can take it out after and let it set up after that)

anyway that's what I ate today and the best thing about these is I can wrap them up and keep them in the freezer. Quiche freezes really well actually. You won't really notice a difference especially if you heat it up in the oven or an air fryer later, so I like to make a bunch of these guys ahead and just pull them out as needed.

[cognitosclowns]

ALRIGHT I know part 2 just released, but any theories for part 3?

OHOHO HELL YEAH >:) these may be a bit sporadic and out of order, a catastrophic amount of sillies, perhaps some hooliganism, etc, etc, y'all know the drill by now <3

[IJ part 2 spoilers, ofc]

Same cold open as always (in front of the whitehouse, etc) except this time its RON >:)

he MENTIONED being a huge conspiracy nut in college - considering he's most likely gonna remember elements of Reagan's script, I 100% believe he's gonna slip back into that.

WE GET A GIGI BACKSTORY EPISODE!!! Otherwise I will just start biting people

ok this is just a plea to the IJ writers BUT STILL

JUST,,, PLEASE </3 I want Gigi lore. Her character is delightful, and there's so much potential for interesting backstory. They've set up all these little threads [her working her whole life to get where she is but still being unsatisfied, 'I could get used to being unremarkable', feeling ignored] now I just want them to elaborate on them.

I might be biased bc I love Gigi to death but COME ON, IT FEELS LIKE SHE'S GETTING SHELVED SO MUCH!! I'm so glad she got to do more this season, esp w/ Reagan, but I'm yearning for lore

tldr. Give me a Gigi episode or give me death.

Air Bud (AB) and Alpha-Beta (AB). Can you see where I'm going with this can you see the wires crossing

I'm sorry but I need the silly robot man to get jealous of the team paying more attention to Air Bud than him.

I can picture it so vividly like a vision from an angry god just

'Of course we're a team! we've even got loveable non-human sidekick who grew beyond his original purpose, gained human traits, and became all the better for it!'

-haha, well, I wouldn't exactly describe myself as a side-'

'Air Bud :D'

'I beg your fucking pardon, Mister Hand?'

in short I need smb to offhandedly refer to Air Bud as AB, and watch this man have a cyberstroke from pure jealousy.

speaking of my favorite man,

ALRIGHT,,,, I DO KINDA REALLY WANT TAMIKO DATE 2.0,,,,,,,

I don't really ship them but the potential here is too powerful. I need to experience more of Whatever The Fuck Happens To AB's Mind When He Sees A MILF

Tell me it wouldn't be delightful to see this clown try and ask Tamiko on a proper date. Tell me that wouldn't be magical to witness. It'll be an absolute car crash and I pray the writers give it to us.

also because if (lets be honest, when) he gets rejected, his dramatic, self-pitying crywank moment is going to be. so good. Teenager sulking in their bedroom watching rom-coms and crying about how 'that was just like me and Tamiko 🥺🥺🥺' levels of pathetic. I know it in my heart of hearts. I physically can't wait.

I think overall I just want this man in situations. bad situations. bad not good situations where he will act both bad and not good <3

THE ROBES,,, UH,,,, HRM,,

*GESTURES VAGUELY* THERE'S SO MANY OPTIONS IDK YET GIVE ME A FEW MONTHS TO STRATEGIZE

They could be anything from aliens, to time travelers, to 4th dimensional beings, robots, clones, ghosts, Just Some Guys (tm), to all of the above in some hodgepodge fruitcake situation.

I will however say that,, at least half of what the Robes told Reagan was probably bullshit. The stuff about all catastrophes having meaning? Not buying it, there's smth up here.

[ALSO,, I'm 90% sure that season 2/part 3 is gonna be the start to an actual Longterm Overarching Plot, which the Robes will no doubt be involved in. Please Please Please, this show is already delightful, and a broader plot would just. *italian hand kiss*]

MISC SHIT, MOSTLY JUST HOPES AND DREAMS:

JRand prison moments. homoerotic prison escape. two bisexual men pressed into a dirt tunnel, who knows what might occur in the heat of passion etc, etc

GLENN CHARACTER ARC!!! We're getting little hints at it,,,, he's tried shrooms,, he's growing closer to the team,,, the bisexual arc is right around the corner for this man I can FEEL IT.

I think we might see Atlantis? We've been getting more stuff about them, and since we've covered pretty much all other Already Mentioned Funky Locations, I think that's gonna be the Big Travel Episode next season!!

BEACH EPISODE!! PLEASE GOD!!! Either combined w/ the above, or separate

[Also, shamefully, I'll admit,,,, I kinda want a musical episode. I have no excuse I just think it'd be so delightful. Please Once-More-With-Feeling, Guy-Who-Didnt-Like-Musicals these bitches Shion, I know you have the power.]

A deep-dive into Andre's psyche. SO many things have been brought up, and I hope they really go in on them. He's coping in 1000 different ways and I don't think a single one of them is good for him.

HM. okie this is getting rambly - I'll probably add more within the next few months as these episodes congeal in my brain, but for now, tysm for the ask!!!

[cielomist]

This is very much not april fools related i genuinely want to hear your thoughts /srs but i am begging you can i Pls have a full ass rant abt all your vexen thoughts im backreading through propaganda and youre making me go OUGH - @fuckable-kh-men-battle

HOUGH

i want to preface this by saying i am not super articulate, i am very much a person that just rotates characters in my head at high speeds and doesn't form super coherent thoughts, but by god i know i have a lot of vexen thoughts its just gonna take some time to put them into like, understandable words

under a cut bc im sure its gonna get long. also im sorry that this is so incredibly disorganized.

OK SO

i have loved vexen. ever since i was a kid. i never even played com i just saw him in the kh2 journal and was like "THAT ONE"

(i was also deep in the like… 2009-era deviantart kh fandom, but… 😬)

but getting into the deeper stuff, vexen has this fun little dichotomy of somehow being incredibly cringefail but also EXTREMELY accomplished. he brags about how smart he is, he giggles to himself about it in the castle in days, and it comes across as this pathetic little man just being full of himself, but he also can like, legitimately back it up? he just MADE another riku. he MADE xion, and xion is absolutely extraordinary because she was not supposed to develop as her own person, but he was just so damn good at making just real ass PEOPLE that xion became her own person with her own thoughts and feelings and dreams

one of my favourite scenes is this one. first of all i live for all interactions between vexen/even and zexion/ienzo because GOD. i'm fucking obsessed with dad!even as a concept and i love thinking of the dynamics between ienzo and all his dads and i need to stop myself here or i'm gonna go off on a whole other tangent about ienzo specifically and how fucked his entire life was--

anyway that scene is one of my favs because i just love vexen running through the castle, yelling for his son, because his boss is actively avoiding him. i just assume this is how it always is with him.

also it's been pointed out that vexen, when talking with zexion, will often bend so he's eye level with him and i love that. i adore that.

also speaking of vexen/even and zexion/ienzo, THIS

god sorry i just read ienzo's character file and he mentioned even would scold atw for buying ienzo so much ice cream and i love that mental image. atw is literally king of radiant garden and even's bitching him out for spoiling his 8-year-old

and god VEXEN'S CHARACTER FILE... "I had lost sight of why I wanted to be clever in the first place. I wanted to be clever because I wanted to be helpful to someone." HHHHHHHH even became a scientist in the first place because he waanted to HELP PEOPLE and he got in this spiral of "i need to be smart to help people" and he worked HARD to become smarter and eventually dropped the "to help people" presumably because of xehanort and then when he was recompleted the first time he REMEMBERED WHY he wanted to do all the things he wanted to do in the first place, and in order to help people he gave up his heart, his humanity, what the original organization had been WORKING TOWARDS THE WHOLE TIME and i just. ough.

also in birth by sleep even talks to ven for like, two minutes maximum and from that is able to just deduce that ven's heart is not only completely devoid of darkness, but also that any darkness he DID have was forcibly removed. i don't know where to fit this tidbit in but i think about it a lot.

i mentioned in one of my propaganda asks a post that theorized about vexen's shield, and while i still can't find that post i did remember a fic i read based of of it

i somehow don't have coherent thoughts on his redemption arc in kh3. i get distracted by how pretty he looks when he says he wants to atone i think. but his little monologue when he's trying to convince demyx to help him out... ough. i am personally of the opinion that even was the apprentice with an actual like, medical phd. i think all of the apprentices specialized in different things, and i don't really have a solidified idea for anyone else (though dilan is shown to like flowers in his character file, though i think that gardening is a hobby for him rather than his professional field) but that's my Even's Professional Career headcanon. he absolutely has the entire ICD manual memorized. and rememorizes it every time it updates.

i also think post-kh3 when he was re-humaned he just straight up euthanized himself to be recompleted. he didn't want to wait to regrow a heart and it beat the hell out of immolation, axel

anyway i really wish people wouldn't reduce vexen/even to just being a creepy weirdo; he has SO MUCH to him, but ultimately i think people overlook him because he's not an anime prettyboy and i and the other vexenfuckers are stronger and smarter and sexier than everyone else

for now that's all i've got. if i think of more things i will rb with more vexen thoughts. thank u for your patience as i go insane writing this. <3

(fun fact! when i was in middle school (maybe high school?) i set his japanese laugh as my alarm and to this day i remember it bleeding into one of my dreams via a man in a parking lot laughing at me until i woke up and realized it was my alarm going off for school)

[charliethemanticore]

Hi! I watch/read a lot of anime/manga, so I figured I'd discuss the filler thing with you! Hope that's ok!

That's actually a very good point, I never thought about it that way! I think people disregard filler and don't consider it a regular addition to an adaptation, like it happens in other movies or shows, because in most cases its point is not to add anything worthwhile to the story, but to gain some time to not catch up to the manga.

So then, particularly in longer anime such as Naruto or Bleach, there are these entire arcs that completely deviate from the story and are ultimately pointless and stick out like a sore thumb. Whatever happened there is never brought back again, and its characters are promptly discarded as soon as the arc ends. This is something that doesn't happen in adaptations in other media (as far as I know), and what makes filler such an unique thing to anime.

Then there are cases where from some point on the anime completely deviates from its source material, such as Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 or Soul Eater. People don't refer to its original content as filler anymore because there's an understanding that they're doing their own thing.

I think what ultimately draws the line on what's filler or not it's its purpose and of course this is not a black or white thing, or matter of quality. Most people would agree that FMA 2003's ending is garbage, and the episode in DBZ where Goku and Piccolo learn how to drive is incredible. But then in cases where filler adds to and elevates the source material, can we still refer to it as such? That's a more difficult question! But I think we can all agree that Naruto's filler is pretty pointless, it made the show near unwatchable, and it's as fillery as filler can get. It's there to fill time and nothing else, no one's happy that it exists but alas it's there.

Sorry this got so long haha

Disclaimer: I have a migraine so this is very rambly and not the response such a well thought-out explanation deserves.

Thank you so much for your perspective I really appreciate it. (Also I feel like my tags were misleading. I watch a lot of anime I'm just like... Sitting in the corner doing my own thing bc I find active participation in fandom tends to be bad for my specific combination of issues)

But my biggest toxic trait is I fucking love like... 60% of the Naruto filler arcs (they're the only time my most beloved shino gets any real airtime and he DESERVES IT)

BUT based on every conversation I've had with my friends about this, this is because I have very different... Requirements when it comes to the stuff I like. The filler arcs are silly and fun and I enjoy them immensely (the only one I couldn't watch to completion was the robot Naruto one). Have a lot of complicated feelings about them though. Like The Three-Tails' Appearance is great because shino gets to be competent and Lee is a sweetheart and Sakura and Ino get to work together... But if that adorable child plays that leaf whistle one more time I may cry (guess where I'm up to in my rewatch)

Bleach filler is so much worse. Bount arc wasn't even enjoyable 0/10 couldn't even be saved by hot villains. I watched all but one arc of Naruto. I did not grant the same to bleach, it burned me too many times.

DBZ filler is complicated though because a lot of the filler has canon stuff sprinkled in which I think is a more seamless way to buy time - sprinkling filler into existing arcs rather than having just... 76 episodes of near continuous filler NARUTO. I understand the constraints were different though.

(fma:b is one of my favourites and I sort of just pretend 2003 didn't happen. It has some good points but I just can't. The author told them to go with their hearts and I respect that they committed but results were questionable)

Point is I think it's really interesting to see how other people interact with media because I'm mostly just sitting here like "are my favourite little guys talking? Brilliant. 10/10 you're doing great sweetie etc" im stressed out by literally everything else, a few episodes of some kids trying to unmask their teacher is enrichment in my enclosure

[lepusrufus]

Okay let's do this, y'all get a virtual hug for letting me ramble abt this. Ft me being a slightly annoyed plant mom, but affectionately:

Some tips for not letting your plants die ✨🌱

You don't need any fancy tools. Seriously. Instead of buying some bs ph-meter that some bs tiktok talked about, invest in some nice big pots and soil

You don't even need a watering can for heaven's sake just wash and recycle a big soda bottle

The mini shovel can be handy for some stuff tho but that's it and those are cheap

Always use a slightly bigger pot than you may think you need. Roots need space to grow!!!

The pot from the store that the plant comes in? 8 times out of 10 is a nope

Those dumb Pinterest diys where you glue a magnet to a succulent pot and stick it on the fridge? For f's sake just use a plastic one it'll be better for everyone involved

In that same vein, learn to repot properly. Unless you need to change the soil for some reason like over watering which resulted in it not drying at all (it's okay, happens to the best of us) do not mess with the roots.

What you need to do it gently grab your plant from the base and slightly squish the pot until everything slides out like so:

And then you put it in a bigger pot and add the extra soil needed

Also don't do this during winter, repotting should be done during warm months

Also also it's normal for your plant to stop growing for a little after being repotted

Quick tip for knowing wether your plant needs to be watered? Stick ur finger in the dirt. Come on don't be a coward why are you even here if you don't wanna get your hands dirty

In a similar vein, make peace with the idea that whatever space you're using when repotting or something like that, WILL become a mess. I once dropped a 10L bag of dirt in the kitchen. Fun ensued.

Imma be honest, most watering "hacks" are just bs. Just look up your plant's requirements and you're good to go. Try to get a feel of what you gotta do and also with some it's easy to tell when they need water cause their leaves get all floppy

Some plants need quite a lot of water and others are more forgiving with it.

I highly recommend polka dot plants if you tend to overwater and uhhh... succulents i guess if you tend to underwater? Also snake plants, you kinda have to actively try to kill those.

Not all plants like bright light so look up what yours need exactly

Orchids are the devil I'm sorry pal can't help you there

Tradescantia are pretty sturdy, grow fast, have really purple leaves aaaand don't need ridiculous amounts of light so maybe try that if you want something a little low maintenance. Put it in a big pot though they need space.

Maybe get a general fertilizer. Even the cheap ones are pretty good honestly but only use it during the warm months. Except orchids, they need something specific for them bc of fucking course they do.

Sometimes plants just die. It's fine. I've had a bunch of them wilt and die on me too, same for my mom who has been keeping them for like 3 decades.

Keep in mind some plants are just made to only live for one or two seasons. Others just get old and die out

If a plant is wilting to the point you're pretty sure it's gonna die you can try propagating to salvage some of it.

Cut off a decently sized branch with healthy leaves and put it in water (avoid submerging the leaves in water, only the stem). Change the water daily and wait for it to shoot roots and then you can put it in a pot.

Can't guarantee 100%, some just die out, it be like that sometimes

Also when propagating certain plants it's better to stick them directly into soil so definitely look that up

Water your plants with, and I can't stress this enough, COLD water.

Ok that's pretty much all my wisdom that I can think of. Also should go without saying, but this is 100% based on my and my mom's personal experience and stuff like where exactly you live, weather etc always come into play. Well, hope I manage to save at least one leafy child out there~

[thedreadvampy]

there are times when I really do feel that certain people just Don't Want You To Get Better

(1am Upset Rant incoming)

and it's fucking exhausting tbqh like I'm not trying to say 'I was sad once so you have to let me become Elon Musk.' I don't believe in the transitive properties of poverty or trauma or disability or disprivilege to make Everything You Do Henceforth be ok

but like

idk I do feel like I often have people in my life who responds to anything good happening for me with like 'well that's nice how about you come down from your castle and spare a thought for those of us Embroiled In The Struggle' and it's like

I spend literally most of my time thinking, talking about and trying to support with that stuff. bc I know it's important. because I just went through it.

and I'm not trying to say 'fuck you got mine.' I'm not trying to take this for granted. but Jesus fucking Christ I've literally JUST got into a position where I have disposable income. like I've had this job less than 4 months. and I feel like people jump down my throat for not giving all I own to mutual aid funds every time I mention it. I'm able to afford to give a lot more than I was, which is why I am currently giving somewhere in the vicinity of £200-300 a month to shelters, crowdfunders, crisis funds and local food banks. which is something I flatly couldn't do when I was on £16k a year. but fuck me I spent the first five years of my adult life literally destitute and reliant on the generosity of my friends and family. I have experienced the long term trauma of poverty and it nearly killed me. I have spent years taking and taking and feeling like shit about being a burden without a future and I just feel like can I not just enjoy having ENOUGH for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES? like sue me I spent money on buying fun shit for people I like. fucking. come at me I guess for trying to do more than survive.

like fuck ok so there's this whole thing that upset me where (I think) one of my friends has reacted really quite passive-aggressively to me saying I thought I should pay my therapist more now I'm earning a living wage. and you know what I fucking stand by that. she dropped her prices well below the bottom of her sliding scale so I could access therapy when I was struggling a lot financially, is it actually a fucking crime if I want to use some of my money to pay her back for that by paying her standard rate? like shit I know it's not radical praxis but it's not exactly buying a private yacht is it? and also like. can I just say it fucking sucks how it makes me feel to be paying so far below her set taste? it makes me feel like a charity case and like a fraud and is it actually in fact a moral failing to want to not feel like I'm a net drain on people's resources? to want to pay people back by doing things for them they don't need just because it's nice and might make them happy? fuck!

and this is like. mental health stuff too. like I genuinely feel like there's this thing with some people when they're deep in the weeds that you feeling better makes them feel like you're being smug at them. like there are a bunch of people in my life who I feel like I have to not mention that I'm doing better bc they'll just go in on the 'OH that must be SO NICE unfortunately I am on fire and dying and will never ever ever feel remotely ok. glad you have that privilege though.' and it's like. I get that. I very much do get it. It's really fucking hard to watch other people doing ok when you're not and it can bring up all sorts of shit. but ultimately it comes down to - getting better is good. it's good if people are happier and more stable. and it feels. actively fucked to feel bad about doing more ok. even with little small steps it sometimes feels like there's always somebody who'll be like 'oh you didn't want to kill yourself today AND you got up and showered and ate? MUST BE NICE I ATTEMPTED TO OFF MYSELF THREE TIMES THEN STARVED'

like it's GOOD to talk about what's up and to keep an eye on community responsibility and to keep people accountable for using their privilege to help others and not pull the ladder up after them. but fuck man like sometimes you just want to be glad that things are going better without feeling like you need to apologise for it.

like things have been pretty fucking rough for a big chunk of at least the last decade for me. my mental health has been Very Bad since I was 6. my physical health has been Moderately Bad since I was 12. I have been through the fucking wringer in terms of domestic and sexual abuse since idk 9? 11? 14? I have been homeless, I have been long term destitute, I have spent the last seven years barely scratching a living, and you know what, now things are finally ok I think I've earned the right to just. Exist in that for a moment. I'm not trying to say I've suffered The Most or even that unusually much. I'm not trying to say I Should Get Whatever I Want Because I Was Poor Once. I just. I want to be happy that things are ok and leave it at that sometimes. I want to be happy that I'm earning more than the bare minimum I need to survive. I want to be happy that I have partners I love and trust and I'm slowly starting to learn how to build healthy friendships and relationships going forwards. I want to be happy that I know how to manage my disabilities now so that they barely impact my life and I want to be happy that I have a job and a social circle that support me to do that. I want to be happy that for the first time in my life I feel ok most of the time, not just bearably miserable, and I'm not living with the constant background thrum of panic and loneliness that was so universally part of my life I didn't even know it was there until it stopped. I want to be happy that things are ok and I'm not going to lose my house or be unable to eat or have to beg money off my loved ones to survive. I just like. I want to just enjoy that a little bit and I don't think that's too much to ask.

(and idk I also think. It's kind of politically useless to treat people like traitors or like tourists once they achieve a level of stability. and I do mean stability not wealth. like this is. the point, right? the point is to get better. for everyone to have the right and the ability to live stable, safe lives? so why does it feel like if you get out of instability and distress, even if you're not exploiting anyone to do so or worsening anyone elses situation directly by doing so, that's Betraying The Cause?)