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messymindofmine · 1 year

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I have so many thoughts about 4x12 and I still don’t know if they’re completely coherent. I absolutely loved it. I loved the communication between TK and Carlos and the growth we got.

I know that a lot of people were upset with the promo bc we see Carlos resorting to his old tactics of deflecting and avoiding important conversations. It’s ok to be upset about that. The truth is we have seen Carlos regress in a way this season. As much as I love the development we have seen for him this season, I think people are allowed to be frustrated with him at certain points. In fact, this season is actually the first time I have ever seen people be truly upset with Carlos over anything. I’ve said this before but I really do think that Tarlos needed to have a conflict where Carlos was the one who was unequivocally in the wrong in order for a lot of people to understand that Carlos has always had flaws. What we see in Carlos this season has always been there. But just bc people get upset with him at certain points does not mean that they don’t want to see his character develop or that they only want him as a support for TK or whatever. People are allowed to be frustrated and say that TK deserves a partner who is honest with him and willing to have important discussions. Carlos kept his marriage secret from TK for their entire relationship and we never even see that being acknowledged as wrong. People were understandably upset about that. But then they were satisfied after 4x02 bc we got to see them talk and we saw Carlos open up to TK in a way we’ve never seen him before. But then we see him become all cold and distant towards TK after Iris goes missing and we see TK drowning in guilt that he doesn’t even deserve with nobody to tell him that he did nothing wrong. In the end of the episode, Carlos straight up lies to TK about spending the night with TK even as TK is sitting at home feeling terrible. Carlos did hurt TK with his behavior. We should be able to point that out. Yet we never see that being acknowledged either. So people were upset about that as well. But then we had TK and Gabriel team up and rescue Carlos and people were happy again. The thing is though that we never see TK’s feelings being acknowledged at all during that time and I think that fed into the frustration over that scene in the beginning of 4x12 for a lot of ppl when we saw the promo. In that scene, it was like Carlos was still resorting to his usual avoidance tactics even after everything that happened earlier this season and I can understand why that would be frustrating for people. Especially since any time we have seen a conflict between Tarlos in the past, there was usually equal blame to share yet TK was the one who bore the brunt of it. This goes all the way back to 1x02. Carlos is the one who crossed a boundary and refuses to acknowledge that even as TK tries to (albeit not in the best way) explain that. Yet people were raging at TK then. This continued throughout s2. And then we had the breakup in s3. People were raging at TK even before we knew what had actually happened. And then the fact that Carlos had bought a home for them without talking to TK about it was almost completely overlooked. But Carlos gets to express his hurt without any acknowledgement of his own role and we see TK express his regret while we don’t see any of that this season with the marriage or with Carlos’s behavior in 4x03. It didn’t help that even the writers refused to acknowledge that Carlos had done something wrong by keeping his marriage a secret for so long. I suspect that this latent frustration also fed into the frustration with Carlos in the promo scene. Fortunately, the frustration towards Carlos seems to be pretty fleeting and calms down quite quickly. The hate against TK just doesn’t seem to go away. And I don’t think we can just write it off as TK stans only wanting Carlos to be perfect and not caring about his development. If that were the case then where are all the comments about TK not being good enough for Carlos coming from? Or how TK is so selfish? Or how Carlos should have made TK work to earn forgiveness after the breakup? Presumably that’s not coming from TK stans. I do think that there are people who are upset that Carlos’s flaws are being dug into this season but there have always been people who bristle at even the vaguest criticism towards Carlos. I’ve seen people express their discomfort over Carlos being a police officer get attacked. It honestly feels like Carlos is one character that we are just never allowed to criticize at all and I truly don’t think you can just write it off as TK stans wanting Carlos to be perfect. That being said, I am really tired of people trying to pit TK and Carlos against each other. A relationship is not a competition and TK and Carlos have no desire to compete with each other so it makes zero sense for fans to be doing that.

I absolutely love how we got to dig into Carlos’s insecurities more this episode. It’s important to remember that even though Carlos is a very important character, he isn’t really a *main” character in the way that TK and the other 126 members are since the show is ultimately about the 126. That’s why it’s taken a bit longer to really delve into his character. Although, they did start doing that in 2x04 and have continued throughout s2 and s3. But this season is where we are really getting into it. Really they could’ve just as easily made TK be the one not wanting kids and I suspect people would’ve been just as (if not more so considering how people are already so quick to lash out at him) upset with him but I like that they had Carlos be the one not wanting kids bc it actually does make sense. I suspected that his hesitancy to be a parent had something to do with his relationship with his father and that’s exactly what we see. I think it’s very poignant that Carlos says he’s never actually spoken aloud about this subject when he was talking to Andrea. This is what happens when someone spends their whole life feeling like they’re not allowed to express their emotions. Carlos clearly grew up in an environment where heavy topics were not talked about and talking about feelings were not encouraged for him. For someone who is quite a sensitive person, this would be a very painful thing to grow up with and it has clearly left a very deep mark on Carlos. And realistically speaking, it may not be something that ever really goes away. He may always struggle with opening himself up and talking about uncomfortable topics. But that’s ok as long as he’s at least willing to try bc a relationship can’t work if one person just refuses to even try to communicate properly. In the promo scene, TK does try to talk about it. He’s shocked that they haven’t had this discussion and is trying to get Carlos to talk about why he doesn’t want kids but Carlos just keeps deflecting. TK is also reacting to his own insecurities in this scene and that made it even more difficult. Even the reasons Carlos listed for not having kids were blatant excuses since he doesn’t even like to sleep in or travel and this likely fed into TK’s insecurities. Even Andrea called him out on this in the end. Both were struggling to communicate properly in that scene and that’s a totally normal thing. Even the most well-adjusted individuals are going to behave in less than ideal ways sometimes and even the strongest of couples are going to have moments of miscommunication and disagreements. Sometimes it’s not about who’s right or who’s wrong. Both TK and Carlos are completely valid in this case, they just weren’t able to communicate their feelings properly in that moment. But then they decide to take a break and seek out help from others. This is particularly a moment of growth for Carlos bc he seems to have sought out Andrea for help. This is the same person who didn’t even tell his parents he had a boyfriend not that long ago and has grown up feeling like asking for help was a sign of weakness. And I think this is actually the first time we see Carlos’s tendency to avoid being blatantly pointed out. Carlos does try to deny it but Andrea doesn’t let him. And we see Carlos finally admitting something he has never even spoken out loud before. I can see how seeing Owen and TK would make Carlos reflect on his own relationship with his father. However imperfect of a parent Owen is, there has never been a time where TK hasn’t felt like he couldn’t go to his dad for help. Nor has there ever been a time where TK hasn’t felt safe in expressing his emotions to Owen. And when Owen is present in TK’s life, he’s actually a pretty great dad. Neither Owen nor TK are at all afraid to be affectionate with each other even if they’re in public. Owen also gave Carlos the support and approval that he has always yearned for from Gabriel. Carlos specifically says that he didn’t even have a relationship with his dad until 2 years ago so while he may feel better about where he and Gabriel are at now, it doesn’t just erase the hurt and the distance between them that existed for so long before that. And it’s not very realistic to expect Gabriel to change completely now. Realistically, he will probably never be able to get to a point where he’s comfortable expressing his own feelings and being affectionate in the way that Carlos wishes and that really sucks. Even if Carlos does get to express his pain about how Gabriel’s behavior after he came out affected him and Gabriel apologizes, thing may not automatically be fixed between them. However, that does not mean that Gabriel can’t still let his son know that he’s proud of him. After all, he did it in 2x08 and in 2x12. And Carlos may never get to a point where he is completely comfortable opening up but the fact that we see him trying in this episode shows that he is capable of growth. If he can at least stop avoiding important conversations then that will be tremendous growth. He opened up to his mother in this episode and realized that he needs to be honest with TK about why he’s so hesitant to have kids. And he does just that. And TK immediately accepts it and him bc TK loves him no matter what. TK knows Carlos’s heart, all he needs is to see that Carlos is at least trying to be open with him. And as soon as Carlos does, TK happily accepts it. You can see the way it looks like Carlos had had a heavy load lifted off his shoulders at the end as they embrace bc he finally feels like he can let that pain go a little and still be loved and accepted by TK. And he even offers up a compromise. As funny as the whole lizard thing is, it says a lot about how Carlos who was so against the idea of having a lizard in the home initially actually went and got a lizard for TK. I’m actually glad that this conversation was left open-ended and not necessarily resolved. Carlos may well change his mind at some point or he may not. Either way it’s fine bc he knows that he’ll have TK by his side no matter what. And TK knows that Carlos not wanting children isn’t a reflection on how Carlos views him. That was the actual root of his feelings in this episode. He took Carlos’s behavior at the beginning as Carlos thinking that TK would make a bad father. And then we see him expressing his fear to Owen that Carlos doesn’t think TK would be a good father bc he’s an addict. This is a perfectly legitimate fear bc it’s something people deal with IRL. There are lots of people out there who fear that won’t be good enough partners or good enough parents bc of their addiction. I’m glad that this was brought up. I also like that Carlos’s parents apparently know about it and are supportive. I especially like that we get to see Carlos say that he believes in TK’s recovery with all his heart. That is so important bc no matter how much TK may doubt his own strength and his own abilities at times, Carlos has never had any doubts whatsoever.

As for the people who are upset about Carlos saying he doesn’t want kids bc they feel that it ruins their fantasy of dad!Tarlos, remember that the beauty of fanfic is that you can give yourself what canon isn’t giving you. There are plenty of wonderful dad!Tarlos fics out there already. Even if they end up never having kids on the show itself, it doesn’t mean that you can’t still enjoy the idea and write or read fics about it.

I’ll be honest, I actually do agree with Carlos about them not having kids at least for now. After all, not having kids is a decision you can go back on if you so choose. You can’t go back on the decision to have kids. And if you do have kids before you felt ready, then that can lead to a whole bunch of other issues. And as we see, TK wasn’t even really upset about Carlos not wanting kids so much as he was about the fact that they never talked about it. He felt that it was a poor reflection on their relationship that they didn’t and that the reason they didn’t is bc Carlos thought TK would be a bad father. As I’ve said before, this is not a situation of who’s right and who’s wrong. Both Carlos and TK are completely valid. Also on a more personal note, I would much rather see them just be a married couple for at least a couple of seasons. They’re both very young and they have time. Now that the conversation has at least been opened up, they can always revisit it later on if they want.

All of that said, the only thing that I want to say is that I hope people can take this episode as a reminder that just bc things look a certain way in the promos doesn’t mean that it’s the way things are actually going to transpire. We were told right from the start that all roads lead to the wedding so maybe we should just hold onto that instead of getting caught up in our knee-jerk reactions. Because the thing about knee-jerk reactions is that they are fleeting. The problem is when we start sharing those reactions online, other people see them and have knee-jerk reactions of their own. The next thing you know, everything snowballs and people end up getting their feelings hurt. Fandom is meant to be an escape, it should not be a source of stress. People are allowed to feel however they feel in the moment but it’s also a good idea to remember that how we feel in the moment may not be how we end up feeling later. And remember that the whole point of these promos is to incite a reaction so of course they’re going to give us the most dramatic stuff and not let us know about the resolution until the episode itself. I honestly do wish that they would stop releasing Tarlos promos all together at this point bc I actually get stressed out by them too. But since that’s probably not going to happen, the best advice I can give to everybody (no matter what your feelings are) is to just take a deep breathe and remember that we don’t know the full story. After this episode, I think it’s safe to say that we are getting meaningful development and we can trust the writers to provide us with good character growth even if the storytelling is questionable at times. After all, this episode was hyped as a top 5 Tarlos episode and people were so skeptical about that after the promo yet that’s exactly what we ended up with

#911 on fox #911 lone star #911 lone star s4 #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #owen strand #andrea reyes #gabriel reyes

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abigailmoment · 11 months

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I need to talk to someone about Good Omens: Season 2 and none of my friends have watched it yet. I don't know much about how Tumblr works, so I'm tossing this into the # to see if anyone has similar thoughts/insights.

(Warning for all the spoilers.)

I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it quite a bit! I love my gay demon and angel. But I also felt like it wasn't very good.

Which is WEIRD because it had a lot of ELEMENTS of being good. But it's like they weren't put together very well.

(NOTE: I don't want to harsh on anyone else's joy! If you unequivocally loved it I am delighted for you! Rather jealous of you, in fact.)

Most glaringly Metatron and the twist at the end came out of nowhere. It was a cool twist, but it was a jarring departure from everything else. I feel like this could have been avoided and the setup of Aziraphale being a good replacement for Gabriel could have been elegantly shown by introducing Metatron earlier and having him irritably watch the other angels bumble about and be flouted by Aziraphale.

The climax felt like an escalation of incompetence. I know angels/demons being hapless on earth is a running gag, but having demons march pointlessly into a deathtrap seems a bit much. And the demons get into the bookshop because Maggie makes a silly mistake--it would have been so much more interesting if Shax had tricked her. The fire extinguishers were charming, but I wanted like four more clever bookshop-traps for that sequence. The halo deus-ex-machina made all the previous effort feel quite pointless. And the idea that using the halo would start a war seems arbitrary and is dismissed just as easily.

And it felt very sad that Aziraphale was perfectly confident Crowley could come back and save them from the demonic 'legion'. But then he…didn't. He went off to resolve a different problem. And that problem needed to be solved, but…just like everything else it didn't hang together well?

A lot of obstacles are resolved not by inventive solutions, but by the characters doing the same thing, just harder this time. Nina doesn't want to go into the bookshop and Crowley yells at her to do it. Aziraphale doesn't want to give up Gabriel, Shax yells at him to do it.

Many of the flashbacks were delightful. I LOVED the 'I was wrong dance'. And bless them for giving us a kiss. That terrible kiss.

I just…loved all the ideas. And many of the moments! It feels like a handful of jewels assembled into an unpleasantly garish piece of jewelry, and I can see the cheap paste holding it together.

I still do hope they get a season 3.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens s2 #good omens spoilers #critical #but loving

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zephyruswrites536 · 11 months

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Also- just gonna add in-

Crowley’s character has grown- to a degree- he’s able to talk about his feelings- perhaps not anymore after the incident but still-

What I wanted to say but don’t know how to explain it coherently is that- Crowley is really just Grey- he is not black he is not white he isn’t dark grey like he says he is Grey.

We see the beginning with his making the stars and how absolutely unequivocally wonderstruck but it all- but who wouldn’t be to be honest- then it cuts to real time and he KNOWS HOW TO ACTUALLY FEED A DUCK. Do you think most Demons would know that? NO-

He created something for god before- he knows gods creations and treats them well. A demon if really a demon would throw a live wire into the pond and watch the ducks die as a form of entertainment- Crowley knows how they should be properly treated and even tells the guy(shouts at- but still) that they don’t eat bread.

And also you get small moments throughout all of it where he is good- like to the girl trying to 0/f herself in the third episode- he stops her! Outright stops her and with Aziraphale gives her money to start a farm. He saves everyone from the ball at Aziraphales bookshop- He saved Job’s children in the second episode- he saved the goats too! He saves Aziraphale countless of times in the season too- he doesn’t blow his head off, he saves his ball/party/meeting, he stops the girl, he comforts the angel after he “betrayed gods will”, he looks after Gabriel/Jim/James, he warns Aziraphale about Gabriel being an interest to shax, he gives Azirahpale his Bentley, etc. The demon’s is a lot more subconsciously in love with the angel than i think he’d like to be or wanted to be last season.

#crowley #crowly x aziraphale #good omens season 2 #good omens

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ausetkmt · 9 months

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What did Franklin board, Hanson say about the Tennessee Active Club?

Controversial Franklin mayoral candidate Gabrielle Hanson posted on social media Wednesday that she did not hire members of the Tennessee Active Club, an organization identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a white nationalist hate group, for security during Monday's candidate forum.

Hanson's comments were followed by a response from Franklin's Board of Mayor and Aldermen, which released its own public statement via email within hours of her post."We, the Board of Mayor and Aldermen, are deeply concerned and disturbed by the events that unfolded at Monday night’s candidate forum for the upcoming city election," the board's statement reads. "Individuals identifying as neo-Nazi’s and self-admitted supporters of Gabrielle Hanson threatened both our citizens and members of the media during and after this important civic event.

"The board's statement said it wouldn't "tolerate any form of hatred, intimidation, or violence directed at our residents, media representatives, or anyone else attending or participating in the democratic process," and it urged all candidates currently seeking office in Franklin, including Hanson, to "join us in denouncing the actions and organizations as well."The statement ended with the names of the current Franklin board, including Hanson's opponent in the mayoral race, incumbent Ken Moore. She wasn't listed.

More:Why Franklin aldermen didn't act to censure mayoral candidate Gabrielle HansonIn her post, Hanson said she wanted to set the record straight about what happened Monday."I want to make something very clear. I did not hire the group that showed up at the debate the other night, nor did I ask them to participate as security for the event. I want to be unequivocal on this matter," Hanson said in the statement posted to her Instagram story Wednesday afternoon.

"Furthermore, I want to state categorically that I am not, nor have I ever been associated with any white supremacy or Nazi-affiliated group."Hanson explained that she's working as the "broker on Brad's (Lewis Country) store," and categorized her interactions with him as nothing but professional and courteous.

Lewis Country Store came under fire earlier this summer after it was revealed that members of the Tennessee Active Club were using the gym above the store.Media coverage focusing on the Tennessee Active Club's presence at the forum is "nothing more than a baseless hit piece meant to distract from the real issues at hand," Hanson wrote.

Tennessee Active Club also released statements about what happened Monday, noting that it was "absurd Gabrielle Hanson hired us. We do this for free at our own expense."The group did not say whether Hanson asked them for help.What's at stake:Franklin battles for its soul in mayor race pitting Gabrielle Hanson against Ken Moore

The Franklin mayoral race has become increasingly controversial in recent months, largely due to Hanson's comments and views, which have included unfounded theories about the motive behind Nashville's Covenant School shooting, multiple ethics complaints filed against her by residents in response to an email she sent to Nashville International Airport criticizing a Juneteenth donation and her admission to being arrested on a promoting prostitution charge out of Dallas in the 1990s.

Early voting began Wednesday and runs through Oct. 19. Election day is Oct. 24.

#tennessee #nashville #franklin #active club #white supremacists #neo nazi's #white lies #white hate #ethnicic intimidation

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amanda-melly · 10 months

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My Good Omens season 3 headcanon, part 2

(This is strictly headcanon, not meant to guess how the series will play out nor trying to say that I believe this is how it should play out.)

PART 2 - Starting with the episode by episode structure I would do in season 3, then my thoughts on what have Aziraphale's boyfriend in the dark sunglasses and Crowley's emotional support angel actually been doing between seasons 2 and 3

Subtitle: I would really love the series to showcase religious diversity and unequivocally stand in favour of oppressed religious minorities, while using these themes to advance character development.

In part 1 I covered what I consider to be essential information we should have about the inner workings of heaven and hell in the rebellion and the Fall. And, most importantly, Crowley's trial, Aziraphale's reaction to it, and how Gabriel lied to Aziraphale about Crowley's fall.

Now let's tackle the present day, what Aziraphale and Crowley are doing after season 2, and the second coming.

(yes we are all heartbroken right now but I don't even imagine a scenario in which they don't reconcile. For me the question "will they end happily together?" is not even a question. The obvious answer is yes. Neil has made this perfectly clear several times. Don't worry, they will end up happily together sometime somehow.)

Perhaps the first question is: how long until our ineffable husbands (or ineffable dumbasses) get together again?

How do they get back together and how long will it take? And what will they do meanwhile?

* I honestly have no idea if s3 will start right after the end of season 2 or if some time will have passed. I think some time will have passed. If some time has passed, I don't know if it'll be months or years. My guess is that it'll be just like it was between s1 and s2: they are set at time of writing/filming. And I don't even think that's plausible for narrative reasons, but for production reasons. It's way easier to film something without having to worry about something in the back of the shot having a 2024 cellphone if the story is meant to take place in 2023 and things like that. Also, we don't know if the kids from season 1 will appear - and kids age. So I'm going to suppose that a couple of years have passed between the end of season 2 and the reunion of Aziraphale and Crowley in season 3.

* For narrative reasons also, I think this reunion would make most sense as the big finale of episode 1, or at most as the big finale of episode 2, after an initial episode or 2 of both still clearly troubled by their distance and all the things they said and the things they didn't say in their last encounter. I can imagine that they meet again in a troubling setting (as you'll see in the next paragraphs), and one comes to rescue the other (I'm thinking of Aziraphale rescuing Crowley just because my boy Crowley has put on all the hard work so far and it's more than time for Aziraphale to step up and do for Crowley what Crowley has been doing for him all. The. Time.) (yes Aziraphale of course I love you but c'mon right now you just don't have demonstrated or done enough for Crowley and it's your turn)

* it makes sense to me to have a structure that goes more or less like this:

1. Firstly, what Aziraphale and Crowley have been doing, the consequences of their separation, their suffering in being apart, and showing or hinting that there is Something [the main problem they will have to solve by the end of the season] going on (and how each of them, in one way or another, without even knowing, are advancing something that will end up being essential to solve the Problem). In this part we'd be introduced to some few new characters and few and simple subplots that help push the story and the character arcs forwards. These characters and subplots can't make things convoluted or filler, after all it's the last season and time is precious.

2. There should be some kind of inciting incident that forces Aziraphale and Crowley to meet... Somehow. I'm thinking of the moment they finally see each other again as the end of episode 1, or at the latest by the end of episode 2.

3. There would be some level of conflict between them but I tend to believe they will have WAY less conflict than what I've been reading around on tumblr, reddit and discord. I think Crowley will probably have built some barriers to protect himself from losing Aziraphale again but I don't think he'd push Aziraphale away too much, just enough to see he can trust Aziraphale. I think Aziraphale has to make concessions for Crowley because if not now when will he? So far Crowley has done most of the emotional work. Anyway, I don't think they will fight too much or be too cruel to one another. Crowley has undergone a major character development arc and I think it'd be really cheap to see him regressing and making it seem like his development never happened. Perhaps there will be conflict between them stemming from external factors (I don't know, heaven wiping out Aziraphale's memories of Crowley). Whatever it is, the way I see it, it shouldn't be so easy for them to get together as to make the whole s2 finale seem like a minor problem for these characters, but it can't be too hard to reunite them either because everything good omens has been building (notably in s2) is their character development towards understand and embracing their feelings for each other and their place in the whole heaven/hell dispute (aka they're on their own side, so for the plot to progress they need to get to be on their side relatively early in the season). (also everyone knows that good omens's secret is Aziraphale and Crowley together and honestly if they're not interacting for most of the season, then what's the point?)

4. By episodes 3-5 they are reunited and working on solving the Threat of the season and working out their issues with one another

5. By episode 5, I guess, the plot will have advanced considerably (more than the episode 5 of season 1 and season 2), because in episode 6 the "Threat" (the Problem of the season) must be dealt with early enough in the episode in order to allow most of the final episode to GIVE US WHAT WE WANT: closure and happiness and warm hearts and happy tears. Not that I want the ending to be a pile of fan service. I just want it to give us closure and resolve the main themes of Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship (for example, their communication issues). Big thrilling climax in which the main characters win and save the day: yeah, I guess it's inevitable because of Hollywood standards. But let's get done with it quickly so we can focus on the big climatic resolution to the conflict that really matters in good omens: the growth Aziraphale and Crowley need in order to be happy together.

Anyway, that's how I see it.

Ok now let's tackle the events of the present day in season 3 according to me with no basis whatsoever. This is only my headcanon, like I said.

* question: have Aziraphale and Crowley spoken at all in this time lapse? In my headcanon (which is what I'm doing here so deal with it) we get to see all their interactions of the present day since season 2 (that means I don't think they had a secret hidden conversation in the bookshop to fool the metatron) so no, they haven't spoken in a couple of years. When they do meet, we'll see it happening.

* i don't see Crowley going back to hell, at least not without a very, very good reason. If he's alone, I don't think it's hell that he'd seek for comfort. He'd either seek alcohol, sleeping for months, or seeking the company of trusted humans. Or maybe, only maybe, Muriel. If he goes to Muriel I'm not sure if he'd be motivated just by seeking their company /friendship or if Crowley thinks Muriel could be his key to get access to Aziraphale or to heaven or to important knowledge or whatever other plans he might have.

* things that I can imagine Crowley doing:

- aimlessly driving the Bentley without thinking until he reaches the coast somewhere in the United Kingdom.

- going back to the apartment now that shax won't need it.

- getting very, very, VERY drunk. Nonstop, for weeks or months or years until something dangerous happens or Aziraphale pops up.

(let's not forget that Crowley already tried to get Aziraphale to go off with him and Crowley's reaction was to get drunk)

(but also Crowley always, always drives the Bentley super fast even in soho and in the s2 finale he's driving very slowly, which is a new reaction from him)

- sleeping (same as the above: for weeks or months or years until Aziraphale shows up or is in danger).

- getting utterly drunk but at some point snapping out of it and deciding to do "something" (maybe that would be investigating heaven's plans to try to sabotage the second coming, for example).

- maybe getting utterly drunk but at some point snapping out of it and going to someone to talk to (Muriel, nina, maggie, anathema...).

- this is a particular favourite of mine and I read it in a fanfic: Crowley starts getting therapy. I just love this one. I don't think this is likely to happen, but I find this delicious.

- maybe he'll never stop showing up at the bookshop just in case. It's a bit fanficky and I'm not sure it's compatible with how s2 ends. Or maybe it is, who knows?... I mean. Of course I WANT to imagine that Crowley would end up going to the bookshop frequently, maybe even staying there, talking to Muriel, nina, Maggie... But it just seems to simple.

HOWEVER,

So far good omens has not given us simple. It has provoked us, made us uncomfortable, make it real and provoked feelings in us, it has been honest, sometimes painful, but it has been tridimensional. So far good omens has not feared to stray far from the settings and the characters that the fans expect. Season 2 showed us they're perfectly comfortable leaving anathema, the them etc in peace and investing in new characters and new problems instead of recycling everything. So ultimately I guess Crowley would go somewhere else and do something else. Of course I probably wrong about everything I'm saying here. But, it if I had to do it, I would take this wonderful opportunity of having a final set of 6 precious episodes with a limited amount of precious minutes with these precious characters and I would push it further - put them in new situations with new characters to tackle different aspects of their main themes, aspects that will come to be essential to the final wrapping up of all these themes, plots, character arcs. For example, I would probably have Crowley drink a lot in the beginning (it's the essence of the character) but then I would have him undertake his own religious discovery journey. That's how I would do it. I would have him seek answers in minority religions. In big churches. In small, poor parishes. In talking to the powerful and the humble of different faiths. (naturally this includes not only various religions but agnostics and atheists as well). It'd be a marvelous opportunity to showcase minority religions and advocate for religious diversity and to make a very strong message against religious intolerance against minorities (e.g. Such as the horrible reality of religious racism against African-Brazilian faiths in Brazil).

Then again, I know nothing Jon snow. But I'd definitely want to dig deeper into the theme of religious diversity in a way that provides a deeper development of the central themes of good omens that have already been established in seasons 1 and 2 AND use it to build Crowley's character arc in a way that pushes his characters to new places while staying coherent with his character. It'd be particularly interesting to have this whole "religious diversity" thing approach different interpretations of Jesus Christ (the man, the prophet, the son of God, etc) if the season ends up focusing heavily in Jesus and the second coming.

As to Aziraphale:

- he's probably somewhat aware that something's off in heaven from the moment the metatron mentions the second coming in soho. I think he was completely naive and deluded up to that point, but the mention of the second coming makes an alarm bell ring in his head and he realises that the metatron is possibly not trustworthy. He does get in the lift and tries to force himself to smile though. He does it for a number of reasons. Firstly, he can be a bastard too, and he learned with Crowley how to be an angel that goes with heaven as far as he can. Secondly, he must appear gullible and happy and dumb so he carries on the act. Thirdly, if heaven really is very evil, he's now strategically placed to sabotage heaven from inside, knowing he'll probably pay for it with his own destruction (but it might help save the world, and Crowley).

- he still wants to believe that people are good and most of all that angels are good, so he starts to try and get to know a large variety of angels claiming it's part of his job as a boss. But in reality he's trying to ascertain who's trustworthy in heaven and who's just a tool in their machinations.

- heaven somehow sabotages Aziraphale's attempts to visit earth and see or talk to Crowley or get news of Crowley. At first it seems like mere coincidences, but after a while Aziraphale realises he's being cheated on by heaven, which confirms his suspicions that both himself and Crowley are in danger.

- Aziraphale decides to play the long game, almost as a spy in heaven. He realises more and more how little power he actually has. He's a pawn. He's not the one calling the shots. He's a prisoner.

- something I still don't know what to think about: how advanced are the plans for the second coming? Is Aziraphale working on it intensively or is it more like a thing that takes years to plan before anything concrete happens? Will there be a baby Christ in the first episode of season 3 like there was a baby antichrist in season 1? No idea. Overall I find it really hard to think of solutions for the whole Jesus thing in good omens. Jesus is such an untouchable figure that even good omens, that jokes with god and heaven all the time, was extremely respectful of Jesus in season 1 and has mostly left Jesus alone so far.

I've already discussed this with other fans and some people think that good omens can have Jesus in it like it has God, that the series already jokes a lot with many things that are sensitive matters to Christians. But I don't know. I think Christians in general are waaay more comfortable with jokes about God than they would be with jokes about Jesus. And the majority of people in western countries are still Christian. I guess I'll have to Wait and See.

#ineffable husbands #ineffable dumbasses #neil gaiman #good omens thoughts #good omens headcanons #good omens spoilers #good omens #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #metatron #religious diversity

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pashterlengkap · 29 days

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Dwayne & Zaya Wade start a nonprofit to make “safe spaces” for queer youth of color

NBA star and Hall of Famer Dwyane Wade, alongside his transgender daughter Zaya, is launching a non-profit dedicated to providing queer youth of color a safe space. The nonprofit, known as Translatable, aims to educate and serve both parents and LGBTQ+ youth. In an Instagram video announcing the project, the Wades state that over the next several months, resources will be posted to the site. However, not much is known about what the resources will specifically entail. The site allows people to sign up for email updates. Related Trans style icon Zaya Wade owns the runway in Paris Fashion Week debut And her famous parents could not be prouder. Zaya Wade said in the Instagram announcement that the organization will offer “safe spaces for youth to express themselves through a number of creative outlets,” adding, “[It will] focus on communities of color, center the most marginalized, and emphasize the importance of parents and family.” Stay connected to your community Connect with the issues and events that impact your community at home and beyond by subscribing to our newsletter. Subscribe to our Newsletter today Dwayne Wade continued, “From our family, we were blessed to have a community of supporters and experts to support Zaya and her journey. We recognize the lack of digestible and relatable information to youth, especially teenagers of color” “That’s why it’s so important to create a collaborative space for communities to participate in this conversation and express themselves freely,” he continued. “We want to emphasize that the learning never stops.” Dwayne Wade emphasized his support for Zaya, calling her his “biggest educator and inspiration.” Translatable is fiscally supported by the Elevate Prize Foundation’s Catalyst Award, a $250,000 grant. All of the money will go towards funding the non-profit. “The question was presented to her as, ‘If you have one thing that you want to see change in this community, what would it be?’,” Wade said to the Associated Press before the grant’s award ceremony. “And, for her, it goes right to parents. It goes right to the adults. It goes right to us. It’s not the kids. It’s us. And so she wanted to create a space that felt safe for parents and their kids. That’s what Translatable is, and it’s her baby.” Additional funding comes from Elevate Prize Foundation CEO Carolina Garcìa Jayaram, who gave a private donation of her own. The Wade Family Foundation is also providing funding. “Dwyane Wade and what he represents speaks to the ethos of the whole foundation,” Jayaram told the Associated Press. “He is such a hero in the sports universe and even beyond basketball. He’s been in the social justice space almost since the very beginning of his NBA career and most people don’t know that.” The Human Rights Campaign and the Trevor Project are both providing backing to Translatable as well. After Zaya came out as transgender in 2020, the family fled their home state of Florida after it became a safe haven for anti-LGBTQ politicians and activists. Dwayne Wade was concerned for the safety of his daughter Zaya, whose transition he and his wife, Gabrielle Union, unequivocally support. “We understand that in this state that not everyone thinks the way some others think,” Dwayne Wade said. “Like most things in life, once you get to know them, you have more ability to be understanding. And so if you don’t want to know them, then you stay ignorant in a sense.” http://dlvr.it/T7LxrT

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neelgamesartanddesign · 6 months

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Digital Media: Source and Significance

Critical Analysis

Elvery, G. (2022). Undertale’s Loveable Monsters: Investigating Parasocial Relationships with Non-Player Characters. Games and Culture, p.155541202211054. doi:https://doi.org/10.1177/15554120221105464.,pp477-478

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The notable computer game Undertale has drawn scientists who are keen on understanding the parts of parasocial associations with non-player characters (NPCs). Gabriel Elvery, an understudy at the School of Glasgow, jumps into this captivating subject to get familiar with the capability of parasocial joint undertakings (PSIs) and how they can be utilized in-game evaluations. Meanwhile, as I bounce into page 478 of Elvery's work on Undertale's Loveable Monsters, the amazing universe of parasocial affiliations (PSRs) inside PC games spreads out. Elvery, an expert from the School of Glasgow, warily researches the fluctuated scene of examination on parasocial erraticism (PSP) in the space of computer games and improvement. In this fundamental analysis, I will deconstruct the disagreements that are presented on pages 477 and 478. I will also investigate the significance, superiority, and greater inspiration that are the driving forces behind Elvery's message while deconstructing the primary issues and divisive strategies that were utilized in deciphering the complexities of parasocial associations in the gaming scene.

As I set out on the assessment of Undertale, I find Gabriel Elvery unequivocally putting the game inside the sickness scene of intervened sociality. Elvery shows that Undertale uses procedures gained from past kinds of media to make an earnestly resonating and distinctive parasocial experience for players. Elvery draws on the solid research of Horton and Wohl (1956) to create a startling concentration on the support of parasocial associations (PSRs) and parasocial participation (PSIs). As per Elvery, these relationships materialize as one-sided social engagements mediated through mass media, eliciting feelings of intimacy akin to face-to-face interactions (p. 215).

Furthermore, my excursion with Elvery associates with the expansive area of examination, where he hops into the whimsical use of Parasocial Mannerisms (PSP) inside computer games and advancement. He gets his ideas for the scene from Nass and Moon (2000), pioneers who studied parasocial connections (PSRs) in advanced space and looked into how social standards were applied to PCs.From the nuanced assessment of the association between recognizing proof and parasocial correspondences (PSIs) (Klimmt, Hefner, and Vorderer, 2009) to the careful assessment of player-image coordinated efforts in the gaming climate, this exhaustive layout covers a great many subjects. Excellent specialists, like Banks and Bowman (2013), Chung, deBuys, and Nam (2007), Jin and Park (2009), and Loyer (2015), add to this extraordinary appraisal, growing comprehension we might interpret the confusing parts that are woven into the outer layer of electronic affiliations.

Leaving on Elvery's assessment, I track down the focal point of his evaluation in the turn of events and usage of the parasocial cooperation thought in Game Assessments — an establishment for our appraisal. Elvery underscores how media figures draw out a sensation of shared traits like genuine associations by emptying the certain fundamental groundworks of parasocial association (PSI) that were laid out by Horton and Wohl. His strong conflict follows the headway of PSI through enormous sponsors like Rosengren and Windahl (1972) and Rubin, Perse, and Powell (1985), who introduced assessment scales that are by and large used.

A fundamental part is Elvery's showing of different viewpoints inside the scholastic talk concerning the genuine idea of Parasocial Whimsies (PSP) to electronic media. Hartmann (2008) contends that PSP in mechanized media outmanoeuvres the simplicity of PSIs given its insight, attempting the standard lopsided nature. On the other hand, Kavli (2012) counters, validating that player-non-player character (NPC) joint exertion isn't as taken out from common PSIs as Hartmann recommends. Despite explicit cutoff points, players can convey basic associations with state-of-the-art personas, obscuring virtual and real endpoints. Elvery's skilled mix of these perspectives into a bound-together story is enlightening and includes the versatile complexity of the PSP inside the gigantic gaming scene.

In the creator's assessment of parasocial qualities (PSP), Liebers and Schramm (2019) expanded the conversation, seeing parasocial correspondences (PSI) and affiliations (PSRs). Further, the investigation focused on third-demand PSI in PC games, particularly with dream or activity characters like NPCs in Undertale, developing these thoughts. Concurring with Giles' (2002) plan of figures working with PSI and PSR, his fixation on third-request PSI attempted normal legitimacy contemplations. He contended, contrary to Giles, that third-demand PSI encourages high close-to-home responsibility, expressing that coordinated efforts with on-screen personas, even with no genuine accomplices, produce a huge feeling of social affiliation.

Jumping into character unwavering quality, Hartmann featured clients crediting data past visual portrayal, fundamental in games like Undertale. Then again, Kavli contended that uneven communications in computer games don't lessen the force of parasocial connections. I consolidated these viewpoints into a strong story, featuring the meaning of seen realness

over unambiguous importance in computer game cooperation.

This blend enlightened the making considered parasocial relationship in gaming, pushing the conversation on player-NPC affiliations. Undertale, with its unconventional characters, filled in as an enrapturing significant evaluation. The mix includes my application in-game evaluation and the progression from Liebers and Schramm's central capacities. The exchange incorporated a nuanced evaluation of character legitimacy that was amazingly woven together to underscore the eccentric idea of parasocial relationships in the gaming business.

Gabriel Elvery's work explores parasocial unconventionalities in computer games, partners with conventional media studies and the pushing scene of regular robotized redirection. He refers to the chance of facilitated parasocial exertion as a striking asset for investigating gaming encounters and the essential associations that are laid out with virtual characters. Elvery's appraisal of parasocial relationships in games like Undertale challenges presumptions about the realness of commitment in virtual circumstances. With its creative way of dealing with characters and monsters, Undertale challenges customary pretending games and adds interest to the continuous discussion. The book by Elvery aims to broaden the application of parasocial connection concepts to video games, a subject that has not yet received sufficient academic research. Elvery positions PC games as a real and complex medium that empowers critical relationships among players and virtual components. She does this by upgrading the speculative arrangement of media studies and highlighting the importance of a nuanced cognizance of player-image associations in shrewd description.

In conclusion, jumping into Elvery's specific evaluation on pages 477 and 478 enlightens the huge effect of Undertale on how we could unravel parasocial correspondences in gaming. Elvery truly challenges traditional thoughts concerning the believability of virtual relationships by examining the obvious advancement of these thoughts. Undertale, with its painstakingly made relationship with non-player characters, arises as an enchanting consistent assessment. The irritation of standard RPG standards on page 478 etchings a major second, revealing how the game changes beasts into regarded friends, developing precious affiliations. Elvery's work not only contributes from an overall perspective to Game Evaluations and media thinking yet in addition includes the huge limit of computer games in engaging basic, up close and personal relationships among players and virtual substances. This assessment prompts a reexamination of our pieces of information, featuring the bewildering huge winding around woven inside the gaming scene.

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thxnews · 10 months

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#Enhancedconnectivityachievement #Fiberconnectivitymilestone #Future-proofednetworktransformation #GinnyAnderseninitiative #Governmentinvestmentimpact #Improvedruralbroadband #Reliablemobileservices #Resilientregionalinternet #StateHighwayblackspots #Telecommunicationsinfrastructureupgrade

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messymindofmine · 1 year

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Ok so I 404 was definitely a stressful experience lol. I did love it though. One thing that I've actually enjoyed in this whole storyline is how much we've learned about different characters. I actually like Iris. I also enjoyed the Bad Call parallels with TK and Gabriel teaming up. I am a little disappointed we didn't get a "he's an impressive guy" parallel though.

That said, for the first time I'm actually glad for the week long break in between episodes. I think I'm going to need it to recuperate after these past four weeks. I do have general thoughts on the characters that have been expanded that I may touch upon later but for now I just wanted to vent my feelings on this episode. It was stressful for me to actually start watching and I had to skip the non-Tarlos parts with the other characters (I'll probably watch those later) but I loved the way TK went into hero mode and kept looking for Carlos. I also love the way Carlos talked about feeling like the love he had for TK was coming to him through Gwyn. I feel like that's such a special thing bc of course Carlos loved TK unequivocally but it shows how he feels like Gwyn is essentially passing the torch to him to carry the love she had for TK bc she can no longer do so. Also, I hope now all the ppl talking about TK's turn to worry are satisfied now 🙃. I swear if I ever see another comment about TK needing to show his love in a more obvious way or the relationship being unequal, it's not gonna be pretty. Still, I'm ready for the drama to be over (relationship wise anyway) and to move on to happy fiance era

#911 on fox #911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #gabriel reyes #andrea reyes #owen strand #gwyn morgan

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bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus · 2 years

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Mandela Catalogue and the horror of not knowing 'why'

I'm gonna preface this by saying I impulsively scrawled this down on a whim- this is clumsy and prolly full of grammar mistakes. Sorry about that :/

I honestly have never encountered an analogue horror series that had an impact on me like Mandela Catalogue.

I'm a bit of an avid horror fan, so I am a little desensitised to the tropes, the scares and the stories. I think horror is actually quite a hard genre to write because it's very easy to fall into the formulaic way of doing things and also difficult to create a compelling story with the right amount of twists and turns, plus you're doing all this while also trying to actually scare people. Horror always seeks to make impact and because it's frantically firing rounds here, there and everywhere, it's really hard to hit the target.

This is where the Mandela Catalogue comes in... but I'll take a quick side to talk about another horror franchise so we can get a better idea of what the hell I'm getting at lol.

When the first FNAF game came out, I was enthralled by the horrific idea of dead children haunting animatronic suits, aimlessly wandering about in hopes of getting their revenge on their killer. The subject of the Purple Guy was such a massive topic way back when, that it was hard to avoid the character. Best of all though, it was hard to work out why he did it. Why did he commit such a heinous crime? What was he getting out of it? We didn't even know his name, let alone his personality, his reasoning or his face.

The mystery of 'why' was the biggest piece missing from the puzzle, teasing us at what we didn't know. And to add salt to the wound, what we didn't know outweighed what we did. 'Why were things they way they were? Why did the Purple Guy do what he did?' was what certainly frightened me back then.

An unanswered question is something I'll always find more terrifying. As humans, I think we're constantly wanting to rationalise everything- it's just who we are, we like explaining things away. So when someone or something commits an action out of the norm with no particular explanation, it frightens us.

'Why' is what made FNAF scary. And explaining that 'why' so elaborately has taken some of that horror away. Now, I'm still invested in FNAF and will always be happy to engage with new instalments, works and whatnot, but unfortunately, I'm not enjoying it as much as I used to because things have become so convoluted and entwined. Putting names to faces, family troubles and sci-fi concepts like Remnant, have kind of taken that grounded-horror-feel away from the original franchise. Now, that's not to say FNAF is a shadow of its former self, I just personally am not as into it as I once was, and I think that's because of the lack of mystery. I'm no longer asking 'why'. I'm more of just staring at the screen with knitted eyebrows as I wonder how the hell Fazbear Entertainment hasn't gone under already at this rate of innumerable scandals attributed to its name... maybe that company is just as stubborn as Afton, who knows.

Mandela Catalogue on the other hand, has exploited our fear of the unknown excellently. I am genuinely terrified of the main antagonist of this series, a.k.a Satan (though it is up for debate as to whether he is Satan, an alien or even fallen Gabriel but I'll be going along the lines that he's the devil).

Satan has always been a fascinating concept to me, partly because I've always been intrigued by the idea of something so ungodly even its own creator isn't really sure what to do with him, but also because we don't really know his whole story. Satan is hardly mentioned in the Bible, he's kind of elaborated on in other scriptures but again, not much is known about him other than that he's the bad guy and he's not gonna win in the end because no one can withstand the might of God.

Mandela Catalogue, uses that fear of unequivocal evil compounded with mystery to make Satan terrifying. What I love about the series is we don't see much of Satan and we don't know why the fuck he's doing what he's doing.

All we know us that he's executing his plan and we're bearing the brunt of it. And that's frightening on an existential level.

He knows what's going on, he's doing whatever he's doing, he knows why he's doing it and we don't.

That's how you do horror like this. You don't tell your audience 'why'.

Now, we can try to give some reasoning, using reference to previous depictions of Satan and also the Bible itself to suggest that maybe he's taking revenge on God, or maybe that he wants to be God, or that perhaps he's jealous that Jesus is the new favourite and lashing out at him, but we can't definitively take these reasons as gospel (pardon the pun :P).

That's what's so scary, we don't know why, we can't explain this and because we can't explain this... we can't predict, we can't prepare and we can't understand.

Mandela Catalogue exploits our need for reason to create a villain so terrifying that he hardly ever needs to show up- we can just behold his work and dread.

#ah yes writing #writing #mandela catalogue #analog horror #fnaf #horror #args #alex kister #fear #existential dread

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coccinelle-et-chaton · 3 years

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*slips you a twenty*

Hey kid wanna read some lit fanfics?

I just updated my blog with a link to all my AO3 works

Also...... Chapter 8 of The Wall Between Us is up and it’d be cool if you read it or whatever, a bunch of us are gonna be there, we’re gonna cry and order pizza and suffer for the love square it’s gonna be cool

Read Chapter 8 on AO3 Start from the beginning here

Or on this post below the cut!

The Wall Between Us

Summary: Marinette is left to pick up the pieces after losing her chance with Adrien and having Master Fu give up his memories to protect the Miraculous Box. She struggles to find her ground as the new Guardian, and finds unexpected support in Luka Couffaine. Simultaneously, Adrien is learning how to navigate his emotions and slowly growing into his role as future co-guardian, and in the process realizes important truths about his feelings for Kagami, Marinette, and Ladybug. When Ladybug tells Chat Noir that as the Guardian, she is okay with not only revealing their identities but also entrusting her secret to close friends of hers, things become unequivocally complicated for the superhero duo. Will Marinette and Adrien be able to sort through their feelings and do what’s best for the Miraculous team?

Chapter 8

By the time Gabriel and Natalie had returned from their business trip to Seoul–and really, Adrien wasn’t even sure they had been gone at all due to the fact Akumas were aplenty during their absence– he had already extracted a good volume of information to make a case for his suspicions.

He hadn’t found the evidence he needed to prove that his father was indeed Hawkmoth, but instead he had found years of badly-filed fiscal reports, personnel that had been hired and fired under very mysterious conditions, some sort of project for the mansion that his father paid millions for which Adrien had never seen, and the one that irked him the most: audits from France’s Child Protection Services, fines, and ‘cease and desist’ letters warning Gabriel that he was putting Adrien under too many work hours.

That, he discovered, was the real reason why Adrien had been allowed to go to school in the first place. It wasn’t that Natalie had made him a favor: They enrolled him so that Child Protection Services would get off the brand’s neck for forcing Adrien on a part-time job when he wasn’t even sixteen yet.

All of Adrien’s findings were pretty incriminatory, not to mention infuriating, but none were exactly what he was looking for. And yet, it was one of those things that once you have considered, you cannot help but keep seeing.

“Adrien, would you like to explain to me why you have been missing your extracurricular activities for the past two weeks?” Natalie said with a stern voice one morning, as Adrien meticulously chewed on his oatmeal breakfast.

The fiery urgency to flip a table, which had taken a hold of him lately any time Natalie or his father addressed him, surged like a geyser.

“I just didn’t feel like attending,” he said politely, without looking up.

Natalie was taken aback by his answer. “Excuse me?”

Adrien looked up this time. “I didn’t feel like attending,” he repeated. “You weren’t here, and I just didn’t feel like going.”

“You know if you start doing poorly, your father will have you homeschooled again and–”

“And what? He’s gonna lock me up again? Is that it? Wouldn’t people start asking questions?” he demanded.

Natalie blinked, completely caught off guard by Adrien’s sudden rudeness. “This is no way to be talking to your–”

“My what? My dad’s assistant? You’re not my babysitter, not my teacher, and certainly not my mother. I can do whatever I want.”

Natalie composed herself and marched swiftly out of the dining room.

“Kid, what the hell?” Plagg hissed from inside his shirt. “That’s a dumb way to get caught.”

“I’m sorry,” he muttered back. “I’m just… I’m so angry at them! I can’t stop thinking about all this stuff that I found, and just… the idea of them being–well, you know who. It’s making me see in red.”

He marched to the patio and went into his car, where, to his surprise, he found he’d be sharing a ride with his father.

He felt Plagg jabbing his little paws at him as if to say, “I told you so.”

“F-father. Good morning.”

“Drive, George,” Gabriel instructed. After a silence, he spoke again without looking at Adrien. “You think you’re so smart, don’t you? Disrespecting Natalie like that, blatantly disregarding your responsibilities, and giving the brand bad publicity.”

He threw a newspaper at Adrien’s lap. It was from a few days ago. Apparently his sudden outburst at the crowd of harassers in the skate park had made it into the news.

“I’m beginning to think it was a mistake to give you this much freedom.”

Adrien gulped, shuddering with sudden terror.

“Perhaps it will be better if you go back to being tutored at home. Or even better, I’ll send you to a boarding school where I don’t have to deal with your carelessness anymore.”

Adrien gasped. “Please… please don’t. Don’t send me away.”

“You’re not feeling so brave and boldened now, are you? Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Adrien didn’t move. He didn’t dare speak, breathe, blink.

The car had stopped already, they were at the steps of the school. His friends were all hanging at the entrance and had spotted him.

“Your lack of words doesn’t surprise me. You’re just a naive, spoiled little boy who can’t begin to understand the sacrifices I make for this family… You’re dismissed.”

Adrien opened the door, not yet getting off the car.

“Are you going to take me off school?”

“No. Take it as a gesture of good will, and a warning. Stay. In. Line.”

“I-if you send me away, people will start wondering what happened,” he said with a small voice. “They’ll ask questions.”

“And what sort of questions would those be, son?”

At Adrien’s silence, Gabriel sighed. “Close the door. Have a good day.”

He got up and stood in front of the car, breathing deeply so as to not give into the urge to cry.

“I can’t wait to be eighteen to get away from you,” he said and smashed the door close as hard as he could, then sprinted into the school building, afraid that Gabriel might order George to stick him back in the car.

Regrettably, all his friends, Marinette included, saw the display unfold.

It was Nino the one who ran after him.

“Hey, dude, everything alright?” Nino said, as he caught up with him in the locker room.

“Hey Nino, good morning!” he chirped with sunny disposition.

The sudden contrast between what he had seen at the school entrance and then, gave Nino whiplash.

“Erm. Yes, good morning. Don’t ignore my question.”

“Nothing happened,” he said shrugging. “Come on, we’ll be late for—”

Nino yanked the strip from his messenger bag and forced him to stop. “Cut the crap, Adrien. I saw. Is everything alright?”

Adrien’s mask of optimism wavered, but he fought hard to keep it in place. “Yes, Nino. Everything’s alright. I promise.”

Nino sighed, not impressed. “Okay, if you say so.”

As they went into the classroom, Adrien saw from the corner of his eye how Nino shook his head discreetly at the girls. He had been right not to tell him. He knew those two would also want to know what happened. He didn’t want to cause hysteria. However, a more pressing thought occupied his mind for the rest of the day.

Given his regrettable display of temper, and though his father said he wouldn’t pull him out of school, Adrien knew not to trust it. One could never anticipate what his father would do just to stay in control. It worried him that he may have crossed a line that would be difficult to come back from. His father might increase his security, might actually pull him out of school. Not ideal, if his hunch was actually right.

He had to tell Ladybug what he knew as fast as possible.

On the lunch break, he excused himself to the bathroom, taking the burner phone with him to send Ladybug a message:

I DECIDED I’M READY TO REVEAL MY IDENTITY. SOMETHING CAME UP. DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT IN DANGER. BUT WOULD IT BE OKAY IF WE MEET AT THE HANG OUT TODAY? PLEASE WRITE ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS.

He kept inconspicuously checking the burner phone for the rest of the day, getting no answer from Ladybug whatsoever. It made him restless. What if she was in danger?

No, she couldn’t be. There would have been an Akuma attack or something.

Still, he was worried, and he knew he couldn’t afford to go back home that day without having told Ladybug about his suspicions, so he resolved to drop by the hang-out anyway later that day. Natalie and George would pick him up after fencing, which gave him enough time to swing there and come back.

It only occurred to him that this might not be the greatest idea once he found himself sans transformation, standing at the door of the hide-out.

What if she wasn’t there today? What if she’s shocked by learning who he is?

He shook his head. No. This was an emergency. He had to do it now, so he ringed the bell.

He texted: LB DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE?

Almost immediately, he got a text back: YES :) I AM HERE. WAIT A SEC. WILL OPEN THE DOOR SOON.

His heartbeat so fast he could hear his pulse. He was short of breath and felt as if his knees would buckle under him at any second.

He heard some voices, then someone approaching to open the door.

Adrien felt temped to open it himself just get over the painful anticipation. The seconds extended for an eternity.

And then, all of a sudden, he was greeted with a most confused Alya Cesaire.

“Alya?”

She crumpled her face, perplexed. “Adrien? What are you doing–”

From inside the house, Adrien distinctly heard the voice of none other than Marinette. “Alya? Is that him?”

It took him a fraction of a second to figure out something that had taken him two–almost three now– years to realize. It felt as if time had stopped and then abruptly resumed, pushing him into a turbulent shore of angry waves.

All of a sudden, it was hard to breathe, impossible to buoy to the surface for a gasp of air. His voice caught up in his throat.

He figured it out.

“Alya?” Marinette repeated from inside the house as Alya stood petrified in front of Adrien, realizing exactly who he was.

“Don’t–” he said gasping. “Don’t tell her,” he pleaded and then darted away as fast as he could possibly run, only stopping when the tears completely blurred his vision.

Back at the house, Marinette was trembling from the utter anticipation. She had requested that Alya come with her to meet Chat. She wasn’t sure she could take it by herself and she needed someone for moral support.

The seconds of wait stringed into whole minutes of silence and Marinette forced herself to march to the front of the house, where Alya was still clinging to the frame.

She was… were those tears? Was she crying?

“Alya?” she asked with trepidation. “What happened?”

“Chat— Oh, Marinette!” She gasped. “Chat was here. He was–he wasn’t transformed.”

Dread came over Marinette’s expression. “Where is he?” she insisted urgently, “What happened?”

“He– he’s gone. Mari, you need to talk to him. You–we… we know him.”

She blinked, too shocked to let fear take ahold of her. “What? Who is he?”

Alya shook her head. “I can’t tell you.”

“Why?” Marinette demanded.

“Marinette, I can’t tell you. You’ll never forgive me if I do… Just… You have to go talk to him, Mari.”

Marinette sprinted outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of ‘someone she knew’, but it was the beginning of rush hour and the streets flooded with commuters, anonymizing everyone. She called and called and called him. Left him voice mail after voice mail, message after message:

CHAT NOIR PLEASE PICK UP! I’M WORRIED, PLEASE!

CHAT.

CHAT PLEASE.

ALYA SAYS YOU KNOW HER, SO MAYBE YOU ALSO KNOW ME... I’M SORRY IF YOU’RE DISAPPOINTED IT’S ME. CAN WE PLEASE JUST TALK?

MINOU. PLEASE. TALK TO ME.

CHAT NOIR, I KNOW YOU’RE MAD. PLEASE, JUST… PLEASE PICK UP.

Chat Noir did not pick up the phone and Marinette, well, Marinette had not been this brokenhearted since Adrien had started dating Kagami, and that was saying something.

Adrien didn’t sleep that night. He hadn’t cried this much since he lost his mother, hadn’t felt this much either.

He never was one to give into negative emotions, but when they got the best of him, they pulled him deep into an abyss that was hard to crawl out of. If any butterflies came flying his way, he wouldn’t have known. Plagg kept guard the entire night.

“I can’t do this anymore, Plagg,” he confessed. “I can’t–I can’t be Chat Noir anymore. It hurts too much.”

“Kid don’t say things like that,” said Plagg as Adrien sobbed. “I’m sure there’s a way to fix this.”

“She loves someone else,” he cried. “I can’t… She’ll never love me, Plagg. It doesn’t matter if I wear the mask or not.”

“That’s not true,” Plagg said, fetching the burner phone. “Look at how worried that poor thing is for you.”

Adrien kept crying. “She doesn’t love me the way I love her. I won’t stand in her way.”

The next morning, Adrien had to put on very little effort to act indisposed for school. He hadn’t come down with anything, but he felt sick. At one point during the night, he had been so caught up in his crisis that he ended up emptying his stomach. In the morning he had woken up from the few hours of sleep he managed to clock in with an insulting headache and even worse nausea than before.

He called in sick and remitted to his room for the next couple days.

It was funny. He never remembered feeling safe or at home in his room. It was too big, too cold for him and somehow at the same time, too small, too stuffy. It was as if his dad had tried to fit in the entire world inside it in the hopes that he’d never want to see the real thing himself.

It wasn’t comfort what made him feel like he belonged there. It was the fact that for once, his surroundings completely matched his state of mind. This is how he felt: as empty and grey as the mansion had been since his mother disappeared, as much of a prisoner as his father intended for him to be.

He groaned at the sound of his civilian phone chiming non-stop with messages from Nino asking if his father had done something to him, Marinette offering him any help if he needed it–these were the ones that hurt him the most to read–, and finally, Alya, who was not sending messages so much as entire monologues begging him to answer at least Ladybug.

He turned off both his civilian phone and the one for Ladybug, hoping there would be no Akumas while he was in this state.

With Chat gone, Marinette regressed into the sort of grief that shut her down when she became the Guardian. She didn’t stop showing up to school, mainly at Alya’s pressing insistence, but it was evident to the class that something was going on with her again.

A few of her more curious friends and acquaintances ask her if everything’s alright with Luka, which only added to her mortification. She hadn’t been herself these past days and she wasn’t exactly sure she’d be able to explain to Luka why she was so brokenhearted without giving her identity away; why Chat’s sudden rejection was way more painful than anything she ever had to go through. So, against her better judgement, she decided to ignore him for a couple days, at least until she was able to sort her head through the situation.

The truth is Chat’s disappearance–not only this one but every time he’s been convinced he’s not cut out to be her partner–hurled her into a spiral of helplessness not just because she couldn’t fathom doing this without him. There was another reason, one she always purposefully ignored.

It’s like she had told Alya: She had feelings for Chat Noir. It had become easier to ignore them with time, and especially when she could just invest all of her romantic attention on Adrien before Luka came around. But the thing with being in love with Adrien is that she was in love with the idea of him. The idea of being together if she could only one day bring herself to tell him. He was an outlet of sorts–more often than Marinette liked to admit out loud– to feelings she could never show, as they were forbidden.

The second reason why Marinette always fell into despair when Chat Noir surrendered or try to surrender his ring, was because she actually loved him. If she was honest, completely, absolutely honest, she loved him. But she could never tell him, it was Master Fu’s orders not to get involved with him, not to reveal their identities. She maneuvered through those restrictions by effectively fooling herself into believing that one day, in the far future when Hawkmoth was defeated and the stakes wouldn’t be so high, she’d tell him and then everything would be okay. She’d tell him the way you admit to a school crush on one of those high school reunions or unlikely encounters as adults.

Chat surrendering his ring always cut that fantasy short.

What is worse, Marinette realized, was that this time she wasn’t using the idea of someone to distract herself from the way she felt. She was using Luka. Luka, who has been nothing but supportive and absolutely selfless. Luka, who loved her, who didn’t deserve to be treated like this.

Marinette cried in part because this was Chat being typical Chat. But also, because she realized she would eventually need to let go of Luka, and she didn’t want to do that, no matter how wrong it was to keep him to herself. Maybe she just needed to try harder, maybe she just needed to shut down the idea of Chat as she had done before.

The problem was that ignoring him was impossible in this circumstance. Ladybug was about to lose her Cat for good.

“Mari,” Alya said softly as she rubbed her friend’s back as Marinette sprawled over her lap. They were in Marinette’s room. “I think he was just shocked. He’ll come around.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” she asked desperately. “I can’t do this without him, Alya. You-you wouldn’t understand. I can’t explain it… I just can’t do it if he’s not there.”

Alya gave her a pained smile.

Oh, this was all so rotten, Alya thought. And Marinette didn’t even know the beginning of it. Alya found herself wondering what would have happened if they had actually revealed their identities before things got complicated off and on the hero costume. It probably would have saved everyone a whole lot deal of pain.

“He will,” she reassured him. “Trust me, he will.”

Alya gave it a few days. But when the end of a week arrived and there was still no sign of Adrien, she decided she probably overestimated him. Nino was mad at him for virtually disappearing, Marinette was growing worried that something had happened to him, not to mention that his disappearance as Chat Noir was truly causing a number on her.

So, she did what she did best: take action.

She asked her teachers for Adrien’s homework worksheets and on she went Friday after school to confront what would be very possibly a mess even bigger than Marinette’s.

She sighed, rang at the gate of the Agrestes’ mansion and waited for the camera to activate.

“Yes?”

“Hello, Miss Sancoeur. I’m Alya, I’m in Adrien’s class. I’m here to give him his work for the week he missed.”

“Deposit it on the bin, please,” Natalie said, as an automated door slid open. to receive the packet of books.

“Actually, I was hoping I could see him? There’s a few things that our Social Studies teacher asked me to explain to him about a specific assignment,” she said, beaming.

“Adrien has come down with a bad case of the flu, I am sure it wouldn’t be safe for you.”

“Don’t worry ma’am. I got all my shots up to date.”

Natalie sighed and after a few minutes of deliberation, the gates opened. She met Alya at the front door and directed her to the floor where Adrien’s room was. “Down the hall, first door to the right,” she instructed. “I have to warn you. Adrien has specifically requested not to receive visitors.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll make an exception,” she said with determination in her eyes. “Thanks!” Alya flashed her a smile and once Natalie had returned to her office, proceeded to barge into Adrien’s room.

The blinds were all drawn, only letting in slivers of light. The air was stuffy, like no one had opened the windows in a good while. It also smelled disgustingly of spoiled cheese.

There were clothes and dishes and all kinds of things lying everywhere. Alya did not remember Adrien ever being this messy.

Both the three displays of his computer and the television were on with different shows each, mixing the occasional strands of yellow light from the windows with the morbid blue of the screens.

A lump, which she supposed was the culprit himself, lay buried in a mountain of blankets and pillows. It seemed he hadn’t noticed her–or in the very least, he didn’t care someone had entered the room.

“That’s it!” Alya announced, dropping her school bag unceremoniously as she huffed and puffed making way through the catastrophe of a room he had, to draw the curtains back and open the windows letting in fresh air and the sounds of the city. She then proceeded to turn off every screen and to yank, almost with unnecessary force, the blankets off of Adrien.

“What?” Adrien groaned.

“That’s it!” Alya said. “Get up. Get up this instant or so help me god, I’m going to toss you directly into your bathtub, clothes still on.”

“Alya?” He seemed confused. “What are you doing here?”

She proceeded to make piles of the different kinds of trash to make it easier to bag them later, and discarded plates and cups as she gagged at the smell.

“Seriously, what is that stench?”

“Camembert,” he explained, not finding it in himself to feel ashamed. “For my Kwami. He doesn’t eat anything else.”

Alya eyed him with disbelief and shook her head. “What are you doing there, just looking? Go take a shower!”

“But–”

“Go. Take. A. Shower. Adrien Agreste.”

A little afraid to continue questioning her, Adrien made his way to the bathroom and emerged a good twenty minutes later still in pajamas. Fresh ones at that, but still.

“You live like a pig,” Alya berated him as she took a seat in the couch in front of the television.

“I’m not– why are you here? Did you just come in to criticize me?” Adrien complained, joining her.

“First of all, no. I came in to make sure you were still alive, seeing as you decided to literally disappear off the face of this earth telling absolutely nobody. Nino is livid, by the way. Will love to see how you explain yourself out of that one. Oh, and there’s been Akumas, not that you’d even get the memo in this bunker, so I had to pitch in as Rena. You’re welcome.”

Adrien looked down.

“Second. I knew. I knew you were going to do this; lock yourself up here and wallow in your self-pity. And I knew somebody needed to come here to make you snap out of it,” she said, giving him a gentle slap on his head.

“Hey!”

“Am I wrong?” Alya demanded. Being met with silence, she nodded. “My point exactly.”

“Third,” she continued. “You think you have it bad? Try being Marinette for a little bit and have your oh-so-trusted partner of years now, suddenly bail on you with no explanation after realizing who she is. How could that possibly look to her, huh?”

“Marinette?” he said softly. “Is… is she alright? I didn’t mean to–”

“Shush. Don’t interrupt, I'll see that you get your chance to apologize to her, don't you worry your pretty face. Fourth. You sir,” she said poking her index finger at his chest. “Need to put on your big-boy pants and deal with your shit like the superhero you are.”

“And fifth,” she said, the fire in her eyes lightly subduing. “There’s homework,” she said pointing at her bag. “I brought it for you.”

Adrien became small in his seat as he took in Alya’s numbered series of complaints. Meanwhile, Plagg came out of hiding, knowing Alya already knew of his and Ladybug's identity.

“I like the way this one talks,” he said, munching a piece of cheese. “Finally, someone with some goddamn common sense!”

“You’re… Plagg?” Alya said.

“Have we met?” Plagg retorted. “Ah yes, Marinette’s friend on the door the other day. Of course. Either way, you have to know. I would’ve kicked him off the bed myself but well, I’m the size of a tennis ball.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Adrien said quietly, gaining the attention of the pair. “I know… I know I keep messing things up. Which is precisely why I’m not going to be Chat Noir anymore.”

“What?” Alya said, widening her eyes.

Adrien brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on top of them. “I just make everything worse,” he explained. “I keep messing up. And I… I know she used to have a crush on me, as Adrien. I don’t want to get in the way of her and Luka…”

“Adrien,” Alya said softly. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but for such a smart guy, you’re pretty darn stupid sometimes.”

Adrien couldn’t help the sudden chuckle that escaped his lips.

“Why on earth do you think that would be a good idea? Have we not met the same Marinette, or, Ladybug in this case? For a reason that’s entirely beyond me, the girl crumbles if you’re not the one to help her up. It’s like… like she wouldn’t believe anything unless it comes from you. You should have seen the certified dumpster fire the last Akuma was. We were all over the place without you.”

Tears fell down his cheeks, and in that moment, Alya knew to knock down her tough-love strategy down a notch. Yes, this was Chat Noir. But it was also Adrien, and while Chat may react to confrontation, Adrien would do anything but.

She clicked her teeth. “Oh, Sunshine. Don’t cry,” she said as she pulled Adrien into a hug.

“I don’t think I can do it, Alya… I’ll make everything worse.”

“You keep saying that, Adrien. But why?”

“I–I think I know who Hawkmoth is,” he admitted in the quietest possible murmur, followed by a sob.

“What…? Adrien, look at me. What do you mean you know who Hawkmoth is?” she said, eyes wide with concentration.

“I figured it out,” he said, hiccupping as he tried to stop crying. “That’s why I went to the hide-out that day. I wasn’t ready to reveal my identity, but I had been stupid with my dad and I thought he might pull me out of school so I knew I had to tell her what I knew before my dad could lock me up or send me away. The first time she took me to the hide-out, I was browsing through some of the documents… Then I found this, this scanned page about the Peacock Miraculous from one of the grimoires and I knew I recognized it from somewhere.” He looked up with an ominous look. “My dad,” he explained. “He has this safe that I once broke into out of curiosity. And he had the missing grimoire in the set and also the brooch. I snuck in his office to investigate and they weren’t in the safe anymore. Then, I found all these documents… he’s been spending money in weird ways, making orders to companies that don’t exist… If he’s Hawkmoth and Natalie is Mayura… that’s–that’s why I had to tell Ladybug. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if she found out who I was and thought that I was part of it all. Alya I’m so scared… I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, Adrien,” she said softly. “And why didn’t you stick around to tell her that?”

“Because I’ve been in love with her since I met her, okay? I panicked,” he said, now a bit more exasperated. “You– I don’t think you and Nino know what it’s like, it all came so easy to you. But for me… It was so hard to get over her as Ladybug, then realizing that I was really in love with Marinette, and now–”

“Wait, you’re in love with Marinette?” Alya interrupted, jaw on the floor.

“Did Nino not tell you?”

“No! We don’t gossip about what you guys tell us!… I mean, unless it's really important, but that's besides the point! Holy shit, this is so complicated,” she said with a long sigh, plopping her back against the couch. She groaned as she processed the information. “Why are you two like this?” she exclaimed, rubbing her face in frustration. “Okay, but about your whole theory,” she said, once she recovered. “I think that doesn’t prove much, Adrien. I wouldn’t worry if I were you.”

Adrien shook his head. “I know what I saw, Alya. He had the Peacock Miraculous.”

“But that could mean anything. It could be a replica; I’ve read a lot of studies tracking the history of each jewel. People have tried replicating them to scam others.”

“It’s Natalie, Alya,” Adrien said with less patience. “Natalie is Mayura,” he said. “I just know it…” He sighed. “I don’t know how to tell Marinette. I don’t want to make things complicated for her.”

Alya thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. “I got it. What you have right now is a lead, at best. We need to come up with a plan to prove your theories. And Marinette doesn’t need to know how you found it. I didn’t tell her that it was you at the door that day, so really, you could just tell her there’s reason to believe that Gabriel might be Hawkmoth. You tell her your sources is someone close to the Agrestes.”

“What if she asks who the specific source is?”

“We’ll get to that bridge when we cross it.”

“Half-baked plans don’t work on Ladybug,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Perhaps. But she won’t press if she knows your identity is at stake. And for what it’s worth, Adrien, I really do think you should just come clean. About your identity, I mean. It would make everything easier for both of you. I know it must be super scary but... At least promise me you’ll think about it, okay?”

-- “Well, you look like shit,” Juleka commented a bit amused as Luka joined for breakfast before school. He hadn’t been sleeping well and it showed. He simply gave Juleka a ‘I’m not in the mood to fuck around’ smile and begrudgingly served himself a bowl of cereal.

“What is it?” Juleka insisted.

“I really don’t wanna talk about it, Jules.”

“It’s Marinette, isn’t it?” she asked, sounding more like she already had an answer.

Luka sighed and said nothing.

“She’s still not answering your messages?”

Luka shook his head. “I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“Nothing, probably.”

Luka looked up at his sister, who shrugged at him. “Alya says there’s something going on with her family or something, and she’s really having a hard time with it. It’s probably only that.”

Luka appreciated the fact Juleka tried to cheer him up, but he already knew Marinette wasn’t answering because of family trouble. It had been no secret that Chat Noir had been absent in the last few Akumas. Coincidentally, Juleka had mentioned Adrien had been missing school the last few days, so he knew something must have happened between them. Maybe a fight, it was anyone’s guess. The only thing he knew is that he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t stand that he couldn’t do anything about it, that Marinette wouldn’t actually tell him why she was hiding–to be honest, he also was unsure he even wanted to know. The prospect of her crying to him for a guy who has broken her heart not once, but twice now, did not appeal to him in the slightest bit.

Adrien Agreste was so stupid! He was an idiot! And yet, Luka couldn’t help but wonder if Marinette would ever cry for him like that, even if the last thing he’d ever want to do was to hurt Marinette the same way Adrien had. If she’d ever trust him as blindly as she trusted Chat Noir or love him just the same.

He sighed, trying to push the thought away. Lately, he had run out of strategies to keep his jealousy at bay and so, defeated, he simply tried to ignore his feelings as best as he could, not knowing what else to do. Giving into the feeling made him think horrible things about Adrien, which he was sure weren’t true. Confronting them brought up a proposition that made him break a cold sweat, which although extremely painful, had begun to make a case for itself. It was something he didn’t want to do, but that he suspected would be the best for both of them in the end:

Break up with Marinette.

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