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leohttbriar · 1 month

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just curious, have you read binti by nnedi okorafor? i’m a bit reminded of her worldbuilding style when i read your star trek fics, if that makes sense

when i saw this i had not read binti by nnedi okorafor but now i have!! and it was beautiful and i really found the world-building fascinating as well as the rest of the story. and i have to thank you so much for bringing these stories to my attention!

i'm not going to claim that my star trek fics are like this bc that is so deeply flattering that i can only shy away from it (how is someone supposed to react to a part of their writing being compared to a quality of an award winning novella--i can't accept that fully but oh wow thank you so much), but i will say that there are details in okorafor's story that appeal to me and drag my interest and inspire me to want to write more. and i think if wanted to try to boil down what these details are it'd come out to something like: physical reality is more creative than the general narrative of physics supposes.

(apologies for how long this got--i am incapable of stopping once i start)

obviously the word "creative" invokes something like a designer, someone who put it all together. and i definitely don't believe in god but i also think that "god" serves as a interpretive interlocutor between how people expect physical reality to be and how it's beyond us--at least to people who aren't consistently enmeshed in theoretical physics or any other field/area of science that engages more with abstraction than materiality. and i love how okorafor takes the aesthetics of spirituality and extends that to tech. how she collapses the space between tech and art:

[...]

okorafor even invokes "god" multiple times, all in relation to the himba people that binti is a part of. and the way she reworks the theme of "innovation" is the expression of "god" in tech--creativity in material realities:

even just the suggestion that innovation and technology can be "small, private" and for "traveling inward" to explore the universe is fascinating enough--then she adds on this idea of "treeing"--of meditating so deeply on mathematics that physical parts of the world can "harmonize" with other parts through that power of mind and noticing and "inward" travel. it's wonderful.

she then has mathematics and harmonizing language with this conceit of "information" being found in certain material and how that material can be the medium of communication:

[...]

and that's not even getting to the way the red clay functions in the story and as a part of the world. the clay has information, data, and healing purpose, but the first time binti is asked to explain it to one of the meduse she says:

so all of this adds up to binti being in the right place and the right time in order to return what was stolen and save lives--when she says she's a master harmonizer, it's a layered claim in the story: she can create astrolabes, she can communicate with her edan--very old tech, she can physically communicate from her people to the meduse with the otjize she kept with her as she traveled outward in the universe, and she can use language.

[...]

i tend to be more interested in language as a physical gesture. as a thing that is wholly reliant on the body. i've always been more drawn to phonetics than semantics, and all the potentially significant ways a body can express itself. i just like meter and sound and gesture etc. obviously that's a part of how okorafor engages with "language" in this story but largely "language" arrives through mathematics--through something as abstract and rational and creative as mathematics--through a practice with "getting closer to 'god.'" and that's so beautiful in terms of the idea of "harmonizing," implying a peace and understanding between conscious beings that always exists so long as someone can tap into it.

binti's role in the story reminded me a little of the narrative/cultural role of the "peaceweaver" in early medieval poetry/culture. the sort of diplomatic conceit behind marriages of daughters to neighboring kings, but instilled in the actual person of the daughter/new wife, the woman who is now "weaving" peace through her ties to both kingdoms. binti of course isn't acting as diplomat through this cultural custom (the politics of medieval power structures are not really there to cause this role to exist to begin with) but the word "peaceweaver" is a word that suggests a creative engagement in material reality. she is weaving material together, she is weaving people together; the word poetically collapses the space between her abilities in a feminine craft and her abilities in her political role. and there's something like that happening with binti's "harmonizing"--her role as "harmonizer."

[...]

so despite the fact that the conceit of "language" is depicted as something that is an abstract truth that can be accessed, okorafor is still arguing that "communication" is a product of the person. so long as the person is not barrier-ed or diminished. so long as that person has always been able to communicate their self to the world around them, in such a way that the person does not keep that self apart from the world. "treeing"--engaging with fractals, self-similar mathematical patterns in perpetuity--being both the accessing of material truth and "god"--allowing for treating with other people. between people. with a result of cultural harmony.

with binti's edan i was reminded also of the golden compass in his dark materials. pullman depicts the compass as a piece of tech more than a piece of magic, even if magic definitely exists in-universe. and the way lyra has a special relationship to this tech, then looses it, then decided to figure the relationship out the hard way: binti's relationship with the edan is very like this but also okorafor writes it so that binti has already done the hard work of figuring out the tech, with her studies and meditation throughout her life (practices of her people), and by the end of the story she just needs to understand her understanding. and there's something about the fact that she is using "god" instead of fully rejecting it, as the story demands lyra does, because the relationship one can have to an object, a piece of tech, can be personal--and the personal is necessarily spiritual (the emergent property of self-consciousness, implementing an abstract meaning on that which might not inherently contain it--the "to be" rather than "not to be").

and the way binti's body is warped at the end of the story, changing her relationship to everything around her, mirrors the way she has carried her people's clay with her as communicative tool and personal expression and cultural honoring of her land and family and loved ones. she is still looking inward for the universe, it's just now the universe has become a part of her body.

anyway i was deeply interested in this story because i the speculative/sci-fi question that has most attracted me is the question of how biology and culture interact and how that interaction can produce something like technology or progress. it's an eco-critical question at the core because it's a question of how to be in the world and of the world while still not limiting the creativity that is as natural to our mind as any other part of the human body. it's how i read something like this novella as well as something like sir gawain and the green knight. it's like: when you're studying any aspect of biology, there's a tendency to see the description of, say, cellular respiration, and think, even unspoken, "who the hell came up with this. this is so impossibly complex. how does it even work??"

and the answer is "it works because that's how matter works. it works because that is how matter is. it works because it was inevitable for matter to behave this way in the conditions created because matter behaves this way and that is what is and that is it."

and so the "creativity" in that reality is not so much authored as it is the ongoing process of everything. trying to interpret and apply a culture that respects that is like...the project of climate activism, i guess. but maybe i'm getting to far into the umbrella Issue here. i just wanted to say that i loved this novella and i'm so so flattered by what you said and i find world-building details like the one's okorafor wrote to be fascinating and inspirational! <3333

#binti #lit #eco-criticism #star trek #sci-fi #i didn't even bring donna haraway into this so i should be congratulated for my restraint lol #thank you for the ask!!

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cdroloisms · 3 years

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haha your snippit abt the dispenser got me thinking.

Dream gets let out of prison and he talks constantly, whatever is on his mind. And he's positive all the time. To a fault where people walk over him. And it doesn't make sense because he was tortured right???? But after an incident they find out it's because he hates the sound of silence and needs constant reminders that other people are there. Also he was punished for any negative emotions in the prison so his default is happy now,,,

hi anon !! this concept makes me SO goddamn sad ,, the idea that he Has to be happy bc anything else would mean punishment im so *punches the walls*

this ,, ficlet is honestly. pretty ooc, not really related to the ask at all, and mostly an excuse for me to cry abt c!dream and c!punz for an excessive amount of time (technically the vote on twitter was supposed to have this as c!sapnap pov, but i just wrote one for him so i went for c!punz instead. mostly bc i wanted to write him LMAO). hopefully someone enjoys it despite *gestures vaguely* all of that mess

tw: trauma, disordered eating, implied torture/abuse, blood, injuries, unhealthy coping mechanisms, emotional distress, thoughts of murder/mercy killing, mentioned animal death, dark content

In the end, it’s all rather anticlimactic, the complete opposite of Dream’s vault and the whole fiasco of adrenaline and theatrics that had made up that day. Quackity ended up having one too many drinks, bragged about the wrong thing to the wrong person - Punz doesn’t know the specifics, only knows that one thing has led to another and suddenly Sapnap was screaming at his ex-fiancé, sword pointed at his chest and tears streaming down his eyes in the middle of the Community House floor, everyone else stood around and watching. A look into Quackity’s office said everything he didn’t - the chests and chests of used and new tools, shiny and sharpened and completely rusted over with blood and everything in between. There’s been a balled up shirt in the wastebasket, completely unsalvageable from how saturated it was with blood, more red than white, and perhaps most chilling of all the calendar, marked with X after X in red pen, going back months and speaking to their utter failure to see what had been happening all but right in front of them.

With Quackity down, Sam caved not too long after, and with his input getting into the prison was no challenge at all. The only thing holding them back were bad memories and the tense, worried edge to Sam’s jaw as he led the small group of them - himself and Sapnap, actually entering the facility, Bad and Puffy waiting outside - carrying them through winding corridor after winding corridor and lava pit after lava pit, until they’d come to stand before a chasm filled with flowing lava, slowly draining before the main cell.

“I- I have to warn you,” Sam had muttered, uncharacteristically hesitant, “it looks…pretty bad,” and Punz would’ve questioned him further, but the lava had fallen far enough to reveal the topmost edge of the cell, so they let Sapnap hound the Warden for information as they directed their full attention on the cell itself and holy shit.

Nothing Sam said could’ve possibly have prepared them for the sight - it was a complete fucking bloodbath, crimson painting the walls and smeared over the floor and splattered over every visible surface like some abstract art experiment gone wrong. The stench of iron and burning flesh and viscera was awful, even over the gap marked by the still-draining lava. Punz strained his eyes; at the very back of the cell, huddled, unmoving, was a similarly bloodstained shape that must’ve been Dream. They remember the crack of Sapnap’s knuckles meeting Sam’s face and breaking his nose, remember themselves chucking a pearl and feeling along Dream’s neck desperately for a pulse - everything beyond that became a swirl of voices and panic and crying that makes their head hurt to think about, so they don’t.

Recovery is…messy. The physical side had been bad enough - pulling Dream out of the cell, barely breathing, limp in his arms and far too light, all Punz could think about was a sheep he’d found a year ago, frail and struggling to breathe, one he’d ended up killing - quick and painless - with a sword through the skull because it seemed kinder than letting it suffer. Watching Dream struggle on the bed, laid up in Bad’s mansion because none of them knew if he’d survive going any further, body resisting the potions they’d slowly forced down his throat after being so over-saturated on them, temperature spiking and heat baking into his skin like the lava from the prison had been imprinted onto his body, Punz feels the same strange mixture of pity and unease, wonders if it’d be a hell of a lot kinder if they just put him out of his fucking misery.

Still, because Dream is a stubborn bastard, against all odds, he ends up surviving - his fever breaks, the potions begin taking effect, and a few tireless, aching days later his eyes flutter open, lucid for the first time in a week. Punz isn’t even in the room when he wakes, only knows that it happens because the too-quiet room suddenly erupts in noise and activity, muffled thumps and sounds of a struggle undercutting Bad’s frantic calls for someone to help, anyone, and they run into the room to find Dream thrashing on the bed, wounds reopened and blood dripping onto the sheets, eyes wild and wide as his head whips from side to side so hard Punz is half-afraid that he’ll straight up break his neck. Somehow, worst of all, not a single scream falls from his lips, nothing but muffled whines squeezing past his mouth, clenched shut, and for a singular, awful second they wonder how long it took before he realized that screaming was useless.

Fortunately enough for them, or unfortunately, it’s not like he can tell the fucking difference anymore, the panic and strain end up with Dream passing out altogether, and they trade uneasy glances with Bad before going to clean off the worst of his wounds. If everything they’re doing feels hopeless, dressing up wounds that’ll be torn open hours later when Dream is awake enough to feel fear but not much else because he’s forgotten what it’s like to not be afraid - well, that’s for them to think and everyone else to pretend not to agree with.

Weeks pass along the same vein - Dream wakes up, panics; they try to calm him down, fails; he falls back into unconsciousness, and they move on and pretend that they’re cleaning up wounds from battle and not from someone that’s literally been tortured for months on end. People stop by, occasionally; Puffy spends more time than not inside the mansion, but hardly ever enters the door into Dream’s room, Sapnap and George drop by occasionally with potion brewing supplies that the rest of them can’t go out to get; once, he’d gone out to the front door to find a chest with an enchanted golden apple, sender nowhere in sight. He knows that the server is busy; Quackity’s admission had brought more than a few secrets to light, and from what they understand, the political fallout has been pretty damn messy. Still, he stays in the mansion, and watches.

He doesn’t exactly know why he stays. They’re not a stellar healer, not beyond what they know to dress their own wounds, and spend most of their time doing odd-and-ends tasks for Bad, who looks more tired than ever. Maybe it’s because he’s seen Dream at his worst more than the rest of them, had been there through his entire fall from grace, watched as his eyes became clouded with anger and madness and a single, desperate hope that he’d chased at the cost of his world and himself. Maybe it’s because they have no ties to the rest of the server - not to Las Nevadas, falling apart under the scrutiny of the eyes that now fall upon it, not Snowchester, caught up in the chaos, not the Badlands, half-dissolved after the fiasco of the Egg and with Sam’s actions having just come to light. Maybe it’s because above everything else, he feels guilty.

They’d thought the prison was the answer. It’d seemed too simple, back in that Vault - a perfect answer, because everyone else was perfectly happy to watch Dream die another time and some part of them had clenched painfully at the thought even thought they knew it was for the best. The prison meant that he’d be alive, if angry, and at some point when he had the time or the nerve or the guts he could go and visit, and they would talk, and Dream would be angry but with time maybe he could even understand.

They hadn’t wanted this. He can’t imagine anyone wanting this.

“Punz?” They don’t jump at the voice at their back, they don’t, but Bad still has a tiny, tight-lipped smile when they turn around anyway, eyes creased in the corners and still not as bright as they’d been before the Egg. Bad looks at him knowingly, setting a bowl of soup into his hands. “For Dream, if you can get him to eat.” He shifts a pointed gaze towards the door. “Maybe you two could talk.”

“About what?” The words come out harsher than they intend, and they take a moment to bite back the mostly self-directed anger that Bad doesn’t deserve to receive the brunt of. “I just-” he waves his hand in the air, trying to articulate the mess that is his relationship with Dream without the words to explain it. “I don’t know, man.”

“You don’t have to talk about everything,” Bad says, calm as always, eyes flicking down to the bowl of soup in his hands. “Just start with the soup.”

Punz sighs. “I’ll try.”

He enters the room in a single, fluid motion, mostly because he knows that if he were to stop at the door then he’d never actually make his way in. Dream flinches back when they enter, eyes going wide and stance going rigid, and the familiarity doesn’t make the sight any easier to bear as they wait, as always, for Dream’s eyes to clear enough for him to realize he’s in the mansion and not stuck in that same obsidian hellhole.

“I brought soup,” they say, finally, when Dream looks up. Dream’s lips twitch up in what he probably means as a smile; between the still-healing gashes on his face and the fear that flashes over his expression, still, it comes out as more of a grimace.

“Thanks.” Dream looks away. “I’ll eat it later.”

Liar, Punz thinks tiredly, moving closer to set the bowl down on the nightstand by the bed. They frown as Dream’s expression goes slack and distanced, again, eyes fixed to stare blankly at the wall once again.

“You should have some now,” he tries, careful to keep his words even. “You need the calories.”

“I’m good,” Dream says, automatic, just shy of sincere. “Thank you.”

“Dream,” they don’t quite succeed at keeping a displeased sigh from falling from their lungs, and bite back a curse at themselves when Dream pulls back with a silent flinch. It’s so goddamn hard, to talk to this version of Dream, both of them feeling around the edges of their relationship like walking on goddamn eggshells. A few months ago, he would’ve straight up called Dream out on his bullshit, get it through his thick skull that the whole ‘I’m fine and don’t need anyone’ act was stupid and completely failing to convince him. Here, they bite back another sigh, look forlornly at the bowl of the soup on the nightstand, sure to go uneaten once again, and force themselves to sound completely neutral when they speak again. “Alright. You’ll have to eat at some point, though.”

“Mmhm,” Dream hums noncommittally, once again staring at the wall. Punz stares at his hands. This is so fucking pointless.

“So,” they say after a few seconds, Bad’s words echoing in their head - they can try to make an effort to talk, sure. It’s just that Dream’s not going to cooperate. “How are you, man?”

The words come out stilted, awkward. He looks up to watch Dream’s expression, as the other man begins to gnaw on the inside of his cheek.

“I’m good,” he says, words deliberately light. “You?”

“Dream…”

“I’m fine.” Dream’s voice sharpens suddenly, breath hitching, before he shakes his head and turns his head away. “I’m fine.”

Punz looks at him incredulously. “Are you serious? Do we need to get into exactly how not-fine you are?” They wave a hand in his direction, jaw clenching when he rears back. “Do ‘fine’ people lose their minds from someone waving at them, now?”

“I-” For a second, Dream glares at him, eyes burning with a familiar, irritated fire that Punz knows all-too-well from having it directed at him a few too many times, before it suddenly dies and Dream is swinging his head back to the bedsheets, hands tightening on the cloth as he stammers. “I- What do you want?”

Punz breathes a soft sigh, regret blooming in the center of their chest. “Sorry,” he mumbles, careful to keep their gestures overly-telegraphed and away from the other man’s face. “I’m just- you’re not okay, man. No one’s expecting you to be okay after...all of that.”

“But why?”

Dream’s voice is small, nearly a sob, and Punz directs wide, alarmed eyes to where he’s hunched in over himself, knees pulled to his chest, hands staring at the sheets pulled over them. “Why?” he says, again, quieter, lip trembling slightly.

“Because you were tortured,” Punz begins, words slow as they watch Dream’s expression, trying to pull out the thoughts behind his averted eyes, “Because the cell was inhumane, and nobody deserves to be treated like that. Because you were hurt very, very badly because of what we did, and none of us are expecting you to be fine right after going through months of trauma.” He pauses. “You know that, right?”

“But I’m out,” Dream says, quiet, disbelieving, instead of answering their question. “I’m out of there. It’s over. It’s- everything’s good,” he whispers, more to himself than to them, hands curling into fists and then uncurling. “I’m- they said I would never get out. And I’m outside, and it’s not- not the cell, and I get real food, and Quackity doesn’t visit anymore,” he shakes his head, eyes squeezing shut as his breath catches in his throat. “I’m happy- I should be happy. Right?”

“Oh Dream,” the other man flinches back, breath quickening, and Punz’s hand stops short from where he’d almost let it fall onto the other’s shoulder. “You don’t have to be happy, man. Not- not after all of that. Not if you’re not ready yet.” Dream’s eyes, wide and wet, rise to look at their own, and they feel more than hear the soft, wounded noise that leaves their lips. “It’s ok to be hurt. It’s ok to be scared. No one’s blaming you, alright? No one’s gonna hurt you anymore.”

This, more than anything, seems to be the breaking point, because Dream collapses forward, hands flying up to pull at his tangled hair before Punz manages to ease them away and into his own hands, watching as he grips onto them until his knuckles go white. His breathing shudders, quiet, even his sobs muffled as to make as little noise as possible, and they murmur meaningless croons and hums as he cries into their chest.

“I wanna- I wanna be okay,” he hiccups, and Punz smooths his hair back behind their hand.

“I know,” he swallows around the lump that has risen in his own throat. “I’m sorry.”

#tw trauma #tw disordered eating #tw torture #tw abuse #tw blood #tw injuries #tw unhealthy coping mechanism #tw emotional distress #tw murder #tw animal death #tw dark content #tw unhealthy eating habits #-> my writing #my writing :D #my asks !!#-> my asks

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bytheangell · 5 years

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Elle are you still taking prompts? Bc I would love to see a moment where Clary shows Jace some of her paintings and other pieces that are memories of the Shadow world and Jace helps her fill in the blanks, which also helps her remember the others.

More Than Just Feelings(Read on AO3)

Clary’s hand rests on the tattoo a moment longer before she pulls her arm back suddenly.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I– I didn’t even ask!”

“It’s fine, really,” Jace insists. She’s surprised by the smile on his face - a moment ago he was running away from her and now he’s totally fine with her touching him with no warning? None of this makes any sense… least of all her feelings in this moment. He’s a stranger in a leather jacket in a dark alley, but she isn’t afraid. In fact, she feels… safe.

“Where do I know you from?” She asks, hoping that might explain things.

Jace hesitates. “I’m not sure,” he starts, trailing off. He’s lying but she can’t remember enough to call him out for it. “Maybe we met at a club somewhere,” he suggests finally, a small, knowing smile on his face, like he just shared some inside joke she should get but doesn’t.

“Maybe…” she considers. Jace looks like he’s about to walk away but she doesn’t want him to leave, not yet, so she decides to take a chance. “Do you want to come back inside with me, or was my art that bad it scared you away?”

Jace laughs, and Clary relishes hearing the sound, watching the way his smile widens and changes his entire face.

“I really should go…” he starts, and her face falls. “…but I guess it can’t hurt to stay a little while longer. Alec’s going to kill me either way, might as well make it worth it.”

“Alec?” Clary asks, the name sounding familiar on her tongue. Jace. Alec. And another name… something feminine and soft, like Isa–

“Nevermind,” Jace dismisses quickly, and the names fade as quickly as they came to mind. “Come on, before I change my mind.”

Clary leads the way back inside, Jace in tow, and heads back towards her own artwork. Jace is looking at the painting in front of them but she’s looking at him, the way his features grow troubled as his eyes fall on the canvas.

“What is it?” he asks. The paining is greens and teals, mostly, with flecks of white throughout, with two dark shadows in the center, and two more in the background.

“It’s a forest, but it isn’t about the trees for me. It’s more of a feeling. It should be serene, but there’s an urgency there… a passion, but also a lingering fear?”

Jace’s eyes never leave her own as she speaks. “Yeah. I can see that,” he agrees. “It reminds me of a forest I went to once. A secret one that’s supposed to hold ancient magic.” Jace looks at her expectantly at that last part and Clary can tell he’s waiting for her reaction… but why?

“Yes! Magic, and a choice. It always reminds me of a choice, for some reason.” Clary continues, but Jace is already moving on to the one on their right. The main colors are blues and yellows and white, with some orange and darker reds and browns and greens and yellows throughout.

“What about this one?” Jace, who still has a strange look on his face after the first painting, turns his inquisitive gaze back to her.

“Joy. So much joy, and love, and a sense of something coming together. But also a sadness, around the edges, like something else is going on outside the focus, separate from the joy. It’s not nearly as prominent, in fact,” Clary says, frowning a bit. “Everyone feels the joy, but I’m the only one to associate this piece with anything negative. Maybe I’m just going crazy,” she laughs, attempting to shrug it off.

“You’re not crazy,” Jace says immediately. She’s surprised to see something sad and longing behind his expression. “I feel it too.” He gives her another long, considering look before speaking again. His words are hesitant, like he isn’t sure he should be saying what comes next. “You said love, and coming together… like a wedding, maybe?”

Clary looks again, and despite not seeing anything in the colors and shapes that look specifically like a wedding she can almost imagine it. The flowers of an archway, the figures of two people - two men - in the middle. It’s hazy, like a faded dream, but it’s there.

Without realizing she’s even doing it Clary brings a hand up to her arm, rubbing at a spot on her inner forearm.

“Yes… how did you-?”

But Jace is already moving to the next one. Any hesitation from before is gone now and he moves with a singular focus.

“And this?” He asks, though it feels more urgent now, almost like a demand.

Clary doesn’t hesitate to follow his lead. “Fear. Speed. Desperation… power.” She sees the angry reds and oranges and browns of the canvas and remembers the strange mindset she was in while paining this one in particular.

Jace looks her in the eyes - she holds his gaze though there’s a sudden intensity there that startles her.

“Edom.” He says the single word, still not breaking eye contact, focused on her and no longer paying any attention to the canvas.

The word means nothing to her, sounding foreign in her ears, and then-

“Magnus,” she gasps. “And Lilith.” Her eyes are wide with the sudden memory, turning quickly to look from Jace to the painting again. “And blood,” Clary licks at her lips, head snapping back to look at Jace again. “Who are you?” she demands. And then, quieter and with much more fear than anger, “…who am I?”

“You already know those answers,” Jace says, motioning to the rest of her exhibit. She turns to it now with names and faces starting to surface attached to the emotions behind her work. Work which might not be quite as abstract as she once thought.

“Do I?” Clary questions, her tone suddenly accusatory. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“I’m telling you more than I should,” Jace admits. “You have all the answers inside of you, Clary. You just have to remember them.” He places his hands on her shoulders then, staring at her intently. “Please.”

It comes in trickles, in flashes. Memories pushing through, solid images where just feelings and colors were before. The red sands and heat of Edom. The wonders of a Seelie forest. A Shadowhunter wedding.

Jace.

Jace and Alec and Izzy and Magnus and Simon and-

She doesn’t remember it all but she remembers enough. Angels and demons and warlocks, vampires and werewolves. She looks at her art and sees herself and Jace embracing in the Seelie forest. She sees Simon and the others in Edom. Alec and Magnus at the wedding.

It’s too much.

“Jace…” she says, almost breathless. Her head feels so light that she’s positive she must be floating. “I… how could I ever forget you?”

Jace smirks, blinking away the few tears that threaten to give away the emotions he hides behind a cocky grin. “I have no idea. I like to think I’m pretty damn memorable, personally.”

He laughs, and Clary laughs with him, moving forward to wrap her arms around his middle. He returns the motion, pulling her close and holding on a bit too tight to be property comfortable. She doesn’t say anything, instead allowing herself to melt into his touch, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes against that dizzying rush she still feels.

Clary has no idea what she’s going to do from here but there’s one thing she doesn’t have a single doubt about: whatever may come her way, she’s not going to have to face it alone. Not anymore.

#clace #clary fray #jace herondale #shadowhunters #I haven't written any proper canon Clace before outside of a flufftober ficlet set in the TWI universe so #this was actually really fun to write #thanks for the prompt!#I hope you like it <3 #elle writes a few deadbeat lines #lunarosewood23 #ask rune

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kurtwagners · 6 years

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What did you think of the new issue of Champions?

Oh my god i was so fucking stressed out about miles…when he snapped and pushed both sam and kamala away i could feel my heart break! He really didn’t learn anything from Peter if he thinks its fine to make a deal with mephisto huh… Also I’m really worried about the fate of vivheart now if riri completely rejects viv I will be. so upset.

It was an exciting issue and I feel like it was a pretty good start for the reboot. I’ve been wanting to rant about Champions though and you kind of opened up this avenue for me with your question so I’m sorry but I’m gonna release it all here:

So I feel like the interpersonal relationships of the core champions members is still not fleshed out enough. Shifting the focus to so many new side members isn't the direction I would have gone in personally… I still really don’t know how a lot of characters feel about each other or work as a team, so introducing so many new members, even if they’re back-ups, is stressful and distracting. For me, the main selling point of teen superhero groups is character relationships and drama over the grandiose “political” or event-based narratives of the x-men or avengers so I dunno. I’m just not really feeling this decision.

This leads to one of my major issues with the entire series: I would prefer if Champions continued to focus on core group stories that involve each member’s own communities rather then constantly enforcing the abstract idea of champions as a larger, global movement. While it's supposed to be inspirational, I feel like Mark Waid’s original execution of this was flawed because the champions didn’t earn their success. A group of mostly nonwhite teen superheroes (and a mutant with a history of being labeled a “terrorist leader”) is immediately loved and supported by the general public? sounds fake but okay. There was no struggle for recognition that made me want to root for this team of underdogs, and when they did struggle it felt hollow and flat bc it was just instances of Waid using these diverse characters as his liberal soapbox for his really basic and uninspiring takes.

I just don’t really understand why it's necessary for the Champions to participate in superhero foreign intervention when their own communities at home need so much help. Police brutality and the treatment of black people in America, abuses committed by ICE/border police and Latinx rights, post 9-11 rampant Islamophobia, indigenous fist nations/inuit rights in Canada, racism against Asian Americans/Asian identity politics, and homelessness and abuse of LGBT youth are all issues that I feel like could be executed successfully using the Champions as a platform. The key is that each member has a personal connection to the issue, which can help further their character development while addressing an important and relevant matter that young people should be aware of in a nuanced way. Two birds one stone. This CAN be done successfully with proper research and consultation. I’m not saying this type of narrative should be the sole focus for Champions (Weirdworld was fun) but I feel like it could be more successful then “Champions has 35 members and we’re going to _____ country we barely know anything about to save people”. Kamala literally learns her lesson from Red Dagger about how meddling in another country without the proper understanding can be harmful in Ms. Marvel when she goes to Pakistan (her own home country!), but because Jim Zub doesn’t have a grasp on intersectional immigrant identities like G. Willow Wilson does he doesn’t understand why a metaphor for “good-intentioned” American foreign intervention can be insensitive and suspicious. How do these teenagers have access to the resources and funding to execute an international movement anyway?! This all really is Avengers territory… (especially when it comes to US propaganda ie the Western savior complex in relation to foreign aid) The Champions are just really giving me Peace Corps/missionary trip vibes and I hate it, especially since out of all people this diverse group of heroes should have the most sensitivity about this.

Jim Zub has done some things right though, I adore Amka! But I want to know more about her!). These are just my “if I wrote Champions here’s how I would fix it” thoughts. If he just works a little more on characterization and team dynamics I’ll be satisfied.

#im so sorry about this goliath of a rant.#champions #champions spoilers #?

4 notes · View notes

autisticmight · 6 years

Note

gimme that echoes commentary, bruh

one: i spent the entire time ruminating on past stangsts and which parts hurt you the most. i pushed them as far as i could go. this is your personalised angst

two: the opening paragraphs are just me being very gay about the ocean and open communication. i kind of wanted to get a scale of “hey, this is how big the ocean is. it’s full of unknowable mysteries. if they die out here, nobody will know. also they’re best friends and brothers and they love each other a lot yay”

three: i purposefully avoided dialogue for most of this fic. when you dream, some senses don’t make it through when you’re awake. i often used vague, imprecise descriptions in order to develop a sense of dissociation

four: i like my greek mythology references. i’m kind of very unintentionally pretentious. ford is my equal in that regard

“…as the nightmare goes crawling to the bottle with the metaphors and fears; a simple echo of an echo of a long-gone trauma.”

behold: one of the lines that sum up the fic. i think i meant like boats in a bottle, but that’s the thing about how i like to write. it means a lot

five: if i had the patience and ability to portray it, i would have drawn this as a comic. there’s something like oil pastels that i remember feeling when i wrote this, in buttercup yellow and the peachy-reds of sunsets, and midnight blue against lurid gold

six: mabel’s presence, as usual, is very important to contrast warmth and healthy coping skills, and, for a word i’m a little wary of using, purity, against all of ford’s neuroses.

seven: remember, every metaphor means something more. almost every sentence has at least two more that could extrapolate. these words are zip files. i’m very much avoiding a director’s commentary like this. fuck. lemme try this again

this is a story about addiction, and suicide, and paranoia, and most of the things we can extrapolate about ford’s mental state from gravity falls. those are the content warnings. heed them. this is echoes, and it’s all fex’s fault

i wanted to explore the stan twins’s decision to sail around the world in a tiny boat. i wanted to explore the fears of isolation and the claustrophobia of living so closely to someone you have a complex relationship with

honestly, i mostly wanted to see how melodramatic i could be

this story is mildly dissociative. it takes place in chronological order, but the thing is, time doesn’t feel like it exists when you’re isolated. that’s why the feeling was important. that[’s why it starts off simply; as simply as ford can get, because he’s verbose. i don’t have to hold back on my words when i write him

calling their communication a “dance,” and the lack of elaboration, also kind of sets them up as still not being fully communicative. they talk, but they still have barriers. there’s still a mutual unacknowledged fear of abandonment, that is only amplified by the isolation. there’s nowhere to hide from each other if you get mad and need some time alone. there’s nobody else to mediate. and they both have issues that they refuse to acknowledge

ford’s dreams, though i don’t mention it, seem to take place on a weird combination of my favourite beach, which is just off of a campsite in france called camping la plage, and glass shard beach, where stan and ford grew up, obviously. i’m not sure if there are more pebbles there or sand. his family being mermaids is about their connection to fancifulness, and the ocean, and him being away from them is. him being away from them. he still isolates himself, only he’s isolating himself in his head now

segment one is about love, and belonging, and the lies they tell themselves. it’s about the little things, and the small events, and living in the moment. it’s about the broad openness

segment two is about rocks. i like hag stones. i have quite a few. i love erosion, and how everything fades, and smoothens, and. it’s just really cool. the ocean does cool things. hitting things together, over and over, until they wear away. oh shit, that was the metaphor i was going for with the rocks. see! there were a lot of metaphors that i didn’t remember, because they were layered in the background. that’s how hag stones are formed. erosion that bores a hole through a rock. hit something for long enough, and a hole forms

it’s about the first segment becoming more corrupted. the fear starts to make itself known again, and ford tries to ignore it, and live in happy ignorance. it doesn’t work, of course

mentioning yellow means that bill is present, maybe. this fic was written with the same coin theory in mind, and deconstructing the misled belief that it erases the happy ending. bill’s existence is up for debate. schrodinger’s giant squid, if you will. the thing is, the same coin theory is canon to me. it’s the perfect culmination of both stan and bill’s arcs

then i did icarus references. then i ruined it with sex jokes and references bc i hate any non-platonic relationships between pineses

they mislead each other

the third segment amps up the contrasts. with mabel, as i said before, an element of purity is added. mabel’s morals and beliefs are strong. that’s why she’s pure. she loves her family. mabel’s just. she’s love central. you could say maji love 1000%. her association with yellow isn’t bill, but ford sees bill in it, because he’s seeing bill in everything

ford is unintentionally gaslit by his family because they don’t believe that he has been sleeping, because he is a known sleep hypocrite, so that adds to ford’s lack of trust in the outside world. and that also cuts into the time he has with mabel. it cuts into his time with purity

this segment’s dream involves bill more prominently, but with a little bit of mabel in the soft yarn. the softness also adds to the dissociation. it’s not real

then there’s a puppet metaphor. that’s. that’s pretty obvious

Stanley holds the hag stone to his eye, closing the other eye and laughing in an awful, vaguely familiar way.

“Hey, Sixer, I can still see you!”

this is bill and stan. bill or stan. maybe

the fourth segment is just a little way of contrasting the warmth of hot chocolate established in the previous segments. he pours away the hot chocolate; he throws away his family ties. stan thinks he drank the hot chocolate; stan thinks that ford is still with him

segment five! pattern recognition in the abstract! all these bills keep piling up, and ford can’t stop seeing them. i think he’s having a psychotic episode by this point, but i’m not sure. damn you, past len, for writing your vague dissociation fic in vague dissociative ways!!! i barely have any idea what i was thinking during this part!!!

…your ridiculous dreams that don’t even mean anything past the fact that you’re paranoid and not alone and still aching for the echoes of Bill.

this is just. i guess that usually, when i used the word “echo” or its derivatives, i was summing up the general emotions of the fic at that point

ford drinks fruity liquers, not only because i think that was fex’s headcanon, at least at the time, but also bc he’s a classy boi

the alcoholism themes start here. it’s more about secrets, but it’s also about the lack of control. addiction is, on and off, a special interest of mine, because of reasons

then segment six. it’s a full dream sequence, and it’s mostly just about how stan is also a liar. the mabel in this dream is distant and less real, because, to ford, she is less real. she’s kind of idealised, so for her to be on bill’s side, in ford’s head, kind of strips her of a lot of personality

stan is called “grunkle stan”, because that’s how mabel sees him, and spoke of him, and it’s ford’s frame of reference at that moment

the swig from the memory gun is something i keep forgetting but it’s very abstract. very meaningful or meaningless, depending on your viewpoint. very pretentious. 10/10, past len

the seventh segment, i believe, is the only one that is achronological. it’s just a flashback to jhselbraum, and the fogginess of a shifting brain chemistry, and also that ford feels like a failure for his relapses. it’s his rumination on his past

that segment is the shortest, which is why the last one is the longest

the final segment combines ford’s two places. i hesitate to call them “dreams” and “reality” because, for all intents and purposes, right now, for ford, they’re the same. it starts with bill, and how he enables ford’s self-destructive behaviours, and that ford still loves bill, on some level, even though he hates him, and how e’s scrutinised

he wants to disappear. he wants to die, and he wants to die, on some level, throughout all of the fic. i’m still a little ashamed to say that suicidality never really goes away, even when you think it’s gone for good

bill’s dialogue is intentionally slightly wooden. he gives an evil monologue. he does exposition in a story with little to no exposition. he doesn’t, ironically, fit into the dreamlike airs of the fic. his story has holes that ford doesn’t notice

ford, at this point, is terrified. obviously. he had his happy ending and it’s all gone. bill is poking at all of his insecurities. then he’s abruptly with stan, who is stan. he’s in the stanley body. he’s himself. but because of same coin, and because of bill’s words, ford doesn’t believe that

ford is continuing the conversation from his dream, but stan isn’t, because he wasn’t there. obviously

each time that ford tries to kill bill, he uses a gun. the first time, he’s in bill’s home, which isn’t actually his home but the in-between spaces of the multiverse that bill has invaded, and he fails. the second time, he’s in gravity falls, where bill has invaded, and he succeeds

this time, he is in the stan o’ war, which was supposed to be a safe and innocent and pure home, that “bill” has invaded

and ford breaks. in each segment, a string holding him together has snapped, and this one is the last string

so, ford has a gun, stan is crying, and ford’s lining up their temples so that a single shot can kill them both. it was something i read being attempted in a les mis fic before, and it stuck with me, because those fics were good, if kind of questionable. this is me pushing my angst limits. i did this for you, fex! i messaged you like “hey is this going too far” and you were just “you can never go too far”

ford loses his metaphors during the countdown. there were so many metaphors throughout this fic, but at this point, i was just like “meh idk” and it fitted thematically with the fact that ford has no clue what’s happening

then ford’s life kind of flashed before his eyes, and stan starts crying, but ford perceives it as laughter

wait fck i wrote an unreliable narrator fic. i’ve been thinking “damn unreliable narrator is so cool i wish i could do that” for a Very Long Time WELL GUESS WHAT

at the end, ford drinks from the bottle, despite having drunk from a glass beforehand, because he’s lost his dignity. but, also, his barrier has been torn down. he’s been left defenceless. both of them have been at the other’s mercy. ford has held and then relinquished some form of control, even if it’s a loose definition

it’s an abrupt ending, because sometimes thhings happen like that. if id stretched it for much longer, it would have been hurt/comfort and not stangst. hurt/comford. excellent

anyway bye

#helen stfu #fex #asks #i just spent like. an hour and a half on this

1 note · View note

shadowed-moonrise · 6 years

Text

ooc: elia and ashka chat logs

[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]

shadowed-moonrise

oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE

shadowed-moonrise

i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment

quick question: what the fuck

(not directed at you!)

shadowed-moonrise

i just

wow????

they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'

shadowed-moonrise

and............... i dont....... think she does

like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me

flameofcertainty

"hi i'm a rapist"

"wtf"

"no but she likes when i rape her"

i just

*what the fuck*

shadowed-moonrise

right

WHAT THE FUCK.

shadowed-moonrise

i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?

shadowed-moonrise

and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?

but APPARENLTY

APPARENTLY

people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf

flameofcertainty

some people are just really terrible?

i guess?

what are they even getting out of this?

shadowed-moonrise

i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????

or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"

i dunno what goes on in these peoples head

shadowed-moonrise

heads

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something

it would explain a lot

shadowed-moonrise

like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for

like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess

but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr is just weird like that?

or maybe we're easy targets?

shadowed-moonrise

oh yeah that makes sense

flameofcertainty

most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us

shadowed-moonrise

if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

ugh im sort of regretting making it public

i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist

flameofcertainty

most of the time people aren't that bad

and then there'll be a week or two

where people send you nothing but asks about pollution

shadowed-moonrise

i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that

shadowed-moonrise

i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

hang on

i just scrolled down

>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)

***what the fuck***

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

oh GOD

i just got

another

flameofcertainty

oh no

how bad is it

shadowed-moonrise

bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says

flameofcertainty

my brain is helpfully providing suggestions

why is it like this

are you okay

shadowed-moonrise

im.... probbly going to be in a minute

fuck

"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."

thats what it says

flameofcertainty

aaaaaaaa

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

why would anyone send that to you

shadowed-moonrise

i dont know

what did i *do*

flameofcertainty

i don't know

fuck

i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?

but seriously

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

i'm so sorry

flameofcertainty

why would anyone say that

shadowed-moonrise

anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but

sob

why

the fuck

i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me

flameofcertainty

i don''t

i don't know

fuck i'm so sorry

are you going to be okay

shadowed-moonrise

yeah. yeah.

flameofcertainty

is there anything i can do

shadowed-moonrise

i dont

think so

flameofcertainty

other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages

shadowed-moonrise

thamk you for not being htat sort of person!

im so glad most people arent

flameofcertainty

it's really not hard

shadowed-moonrise

oh i can... go take some eytelia right now

it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then

shadowed-moonrise

brb

shadowed-moonrise

ok back

flameofcertainty

okay

anyways what the fuck

shadowed-moonrise

someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"

flameofcertainty

i mean if it helps

then that's a lot better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it is

shadowed-moonrise

im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess

flameofcertainty

seems reasonable

shadowed-moonrise

ttyl <3

flameofcertainty

ttyl :)

shadowed-moonrise

hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high

shadowed-moonrise

i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare

flameofcertainty

i'm glad you're feeling better

sorry about the terrible anon

shadowed-moonrise

also did you know art is pretty

its so pretty

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything

maybe i can find it again..........

shadowed-moonrise

http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here

flameofcertainty

that's actually really pretty

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

anyways what's up

shadowed-moonrise

i gotta work in a couple hours

by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it

idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains

flameofcertainty

i can imagine

shadowed-moonrise

like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places

shadowed-moonrise

there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!

i like those

flameofcertainty

that part sounds nice

at least

shadowed-moonrise

ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that

shadowed-moonrise

one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)

flameofcertainty

???

why would she do that??

shadowed-moonrise

i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do

some people....... have a humiliation kink

shadowed-moonrise

and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???

flameofcertainty

i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious

shadowed-moonrise

YEAH

shadowed-moonrise

i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'

shadowed-moonrise

she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly

but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms

flameofcertainty

how does she not get it

this does not seem particularly hard to understand

shadowed-moonrise

i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'

and there was also some like 'greys are toys'

shadowed-moonrise

fucking blues

shadowed-moonrise

i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government

i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'

flameofcertainty

i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue

at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"

huh

shadowed-moonrise

there... exist blues who are okay

there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them

flameofcertainty

i believe you

shadowed-moonrise

like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?

flameofcertainty

they can't possibly all be terrible

otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do

flameofcertainty

probably depends on how illegal

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

and who they are

flameofcertainty

yeah

there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something

idk if they actually do that

shadowed-moonrise

nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk

i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun

flameofcertainty

probably

but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly

idk

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time

it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation

flameofcertainty

it's totally fine!

shadowed-moonrise

how is your day anyay

flameofcertainty

it's been okay

mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place

shadowed-moonrise

oooh

what kind of dance is it?

i guess i might not know purple dances??

flameofcertainty

i don't know if the name will translate

it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional

shadowed-moonrise

group dances are great

if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun

and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way

which is probably good, idk

shadowed-moonrise

im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

omg babybro is home <33

flameofcertainty

baby!!!

shadowed-moonrise

he is so good!!!!!!

he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts

flameofcertainty

tell me more about this baby

shadowed-moonrise

he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*

he has adooorable curly hair

and a little nose

and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to

and he loves my weighted blanket

flameofcertainty

baaabbyyyy

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy

[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png

baby!!!! <333

second picture featuring Grey Grandma

flameofcertainty

baby!!!!

baaaabbbbyyyyy

he's so smol

shadowed-moonrise

so small!!!!!

and smiley!!!!

flameofcertainty

happy baby!

shadowed-moonrise

i hope he is happy foreeeeever

shadowed-moonrise

his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face

bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!

he's so good

shadowed-moonrise

hes next to me playing with my blanket

i looove him

flameofcertainty

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi

although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet

he seemed kinda confused

flameofcertainty

hi baby-sibling-of-ashka

flameofcertainty

he's such a cute baby

shadowed-moonrise

his name is avidik

we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname

flameofcertainty

hi avidik!!

shadowed-moonrise

oh no he spilled water on the carpet

its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet

he ran at me and jumped in my arms

so!!!! good!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

eeee

flameofcertainty

baby

flameofcertainty

good baby

shadowed-moonrise

oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA

seems like your kind of thing

flameofcertainty

wow that's pretty

shadowed-moonrise

oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin

he is not green, technically

although he also does not know how to play even a little bit

flameofcertainty

do you play violin too?

shadowed-moonrise

a little

shadowed-moonrise

im not like good at it

but it is fun

rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them

flameofcertainty

violin is great

shadowed-moonrise

it is!!!

i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much

one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music

its really good

he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT

flameofcertainty

gosh

flameofcertainty

that's really sweet

shadowed-moonrise

ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER

HE KNOWS A LETTER

i’m so proud of him

shadowed-moonrise

hi hi

flameofcertainty

a letter!

what a good smol!

flameofcertainty

which letter is it?

i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has

shadowed-moonrise

it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]

or uh

[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]

shadowed-moonrise

idk if that worked

flameofcertainty

yeah

we have that sound but it's written differently

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

it's the last one in my name

[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]

shadowed-moonrise

i wonder if its always the same sound

i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami

flameofcertainty

just one in orvaran

flameofcertainty

maybe two

i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds

and then there's accents and things

shadowed-moonrise

idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz

he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz

flameofcertainty

maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta

for some reason

shadowed-moonrise

.............i really doubt it?

i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country

flameofcertainty

i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather

flameofcertainty

or something

shadowed-moonrise

there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time

flameofcertainty

yeah

if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to

right?

i'm not really sure how this works

'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school

shadowed-moonrise

i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it

yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway

flameofcertainty

i can't really think why else you'd want to live there

flameofcertainty

lineality maybe

but there are other matrilineal countries

shadowed-moonrise

arent most countries matrilineal?

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of

flameofcertainty

that makes sense for why

we're matrilineal

maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways

except for blues i think

shadowed-moonrise

how do blues even have kids in permissions countries

shadowed-moonrise

"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch

flameofcertainty

i think they have to impress other blues

probably they don't let you give yourself a permission

because then everyone would just do that

shadowed-moonrise

.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho

flameofcertainty

no idea

i think it varies by country

the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two

shadowed-moonrise

i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"

aww thats kinda cute

shadowed-moonrise

if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed

flameofcertainty

good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries

i bet the way you impress people is with politics

or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay

cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things

flameofcertainty

yeah

i don't think they function as well as most places

but that could just be propaganda

shadowed-moonrise

yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”

i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh

i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it

flameofcertainty

everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people

and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad

shadowed-moonrise

my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*

flameofcertainty

i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a big deal

idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying

flameofcertainty

yeah maybe

flameofcertainty

i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

shadowed-moonrise

anitam is trying out a first child subsidy

which is neat i thin

think

flameofcertainty

cool

are they subsidizing the whole credit?

or just some of it

shadowed-moonrise

noooo theyre starting with like 4%

shadowed-moonrise

and increasing gradually

bc you know how changing laws goes

sooooo sloooowwwww

flameofcertainty

i guess 4% is better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think

flameofcertainty

but probably good not to do it all at once

i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned

shadowed-moonrise

first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful

flameofcertainty

summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc

maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

on the list, i mean

and yeah, i see what you mean

i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three

but it makes me sad to think about people with zero

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them

shadowed-moonrise

hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do

flameofcertainty

okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system

and the age when the most people have their first kid is five

flameofcertainty

but that's not most of the people

if that makes sense

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control

i bet they do that in voa

i guess i don't know for sure

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant

(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)

flameofcertainty

wow

that must suck

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit

flameofcertainty

yeah

i bet they're cheaper in fall

since most people aren't getting pregnant

i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four

shadowed-moonrise

because it just takes time to figure that out

flameofcertainty

i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that toooo

i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!

shadowed-moonrise

i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability

avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3

flameofcertainty

that's so good

when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents

but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared

and my friend was living with their parents

flameofcertainty

so there were actual responsible people in the apartment

shadowed-moonrise

nodnodnod

shadowed-moonrise

fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back

there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......

flameofcertainty

i have a little sister

i've never actually met her

maybe someday i'll be able to make myself

shadowed-moonrise

oh wow i’m so sorry

flameofcertainty

it's not your fault

shadowed-moonrise

if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-

flameofcertainty

if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it

otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you

shadowed-moonrise

i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me

flameofcertainty

so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months

you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season

shadowed-moonrise

oh. oh.

flameofcertainty

and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it

that's not the thing yet

so i was at risk of starving to death

and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan

flameofcertainty

because otherwise i might literally die

shadowed-moonrise

fuck

flameofcertainty

fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back

actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off

we were super not going to be able to pay it back

and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't

just that it would probably be worse than normal

i told her i thought it would be okay

when she asked

flameofcertainty

if she

flameofcertainty

people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system

that was just lathande

spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere

even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well

they had to, if they wanted to find enough people

i thought i'd be okay

shadowed-moonrise

fuck.

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i was really really wrong

so wrong

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah wow

flameofcertainty

that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd

it wouldn't have been good

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

they didn't try to stop me

which is good

would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways

shadowed-moonrise

hey you survived

flameofcertainty

i did

shadowed-moonrise

it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know intellectually she's clean

but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise

and if it's her it's worth

*worse

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

can you talk to them online or does that not work either

flameofcertainty

not really

flameofcertainty

they have my email address

they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'

she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back

flameofcertainty

to see if it would help, you know

flameofcertainty

it. uh. didn't.

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby

shadowed-moonrise

colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but

shadowed-moonrise

well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?

but im not sure it would be enough

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know what you mean

if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them

if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself

flameofcertainty

one of my friends from the treatment program

didn't make it

shadowed-moonrise

i had a friend in school

who was hyper, worse than me

way worse

shadowed-moonrise

he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all

shadowed-moonrise

and he was a year older than me

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff

i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later

she FOUND him

flameofcertainty

i'm so so sorry

shadowed-moonrise

that

shadowed-moonrise

i cant imagine

finding your dead child

it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same

flameofcertainty

yeah

wow

that's

i don't really have words

:( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

he was an only child

flameofcertainty

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff

and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”

flameofcertainty

were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?

it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet

shadowed-moonrise

i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older

or something

shadowed-moonrise

i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later

shadowed-moonrise

the last time being my friend

flameofcertainty

yeah

i see where they were coming from

flameofcertainty

my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah

i am so sorry you had to live through that

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening

shadowed-moonrise

it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there

flameofcertainty

i don't know

flameofcertainty

mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us

shadowed-moonrise

part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?

flameofcertainty

i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food

shadowed-moonrise

..........what

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help

but. WHAT

flameofcertainty

our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her

and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch

but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion

shadowed-moonrise

yeah wow

flameofcertainty

i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony

shadowed-moonrise

even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason

but it would still be BETTER

flameofcertainty

there would be a lot of nice things about that

on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'

even though it was fine before

and i bet that would happen a lot more

shadowed-moonrise

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......

we would die very quickly, i guess

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”

flameofcertainty

and even without that we'd need robots or something

to take care of garbage

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”

flameofcertainty

i think it's like

flameofcertainty

if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them

but they aren't mostly, because of the politics

shadowed-moonrise

right that makes sense

flameofcertainty

i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible

shadowed-moonrise

honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing

like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society

shadowed-moonrise

i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst

maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us

flameofcertainty

maybe

flameofcertainty

there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it really varies a lot

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more

flameofcertainty

it's good that you have that

flameofcertainty

and we're not perfect either

there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed

or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper

flameofcertainty

like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i definitely like

think that there’s an objective position on pollution

shadowed-moonrise

and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia

shadowed-moonrise

and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”

flameofcertainty

oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed

that one was "fun"

shadowed-moonrise

oh my fucking

fuck that person so much

also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????

flameofcertainty

i don't know???

shadowed-moonrise

also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

anyways

how's life been

shadowed-moonrise

a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush

flameofcertainty

eeeee congratulations!

shadowed-moonrise

i don’t know how to approach this tho

“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”

flameofcertainty

if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?

flameofcertainty

i am kind of bad at relationship advice

shadowed-moonrise

yes i think that i will actually do is like

wait a while and see if he contacts me

and then maybe ask him out or something

flameofcertainty

good luck!!

shadowed-moonrise

how’ve you been

shadowed-moonrise

also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it

i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other

this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun

flameofcertainty

gosh, that's really nice of you

flameofcertainty

if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible

shadowed-moonrise

i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?

flameofcertainty

the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]

or eles decontaminatable

*else

but i think that might mess up the dyes?

shadowed-moonrise

ok i can do that

yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes

shadowed-moonrise

like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not

flameofcertainty

yeah

now i want to do something nice for you, help

shadowed-moonrise

umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin

flameofcertainty

i'll try my best

maybe i can find an arrangement or something

shadowed-moonrise

that’s so nice of you

you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway

i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?

8 notes · View notes

thebootybitchdragon · 7 years

Text

Here you go my pretties, here are some random Daniel Masters ideas I have.

Things I Like:

His name is Daniel, and he always refers to himself as such. He never uses any nicknames or variations of it, mostly to keep things from getting confusing since we now have Danny, Dani, Dan and Daniel.

I doubt Vlad's entire motivation for cloning Daniel is to just have a son. I think he either wanted to have him take Danny's place while Danny himself was gotten rid of, or, again, use him as a weapon against Danny. Or for some schemes. A particularly strong idea is sending Daniel, under Danny's guise, into the Fenton Family and having him cause utter havoc to rip it apart.

His human form eyes are a darker blue than Danny's, closer to Vlad's shade. His ghost form's eyes are pink, simply due to the fact that Vlad has red eyes and red eyes for evil or dark 'twin' versions of a character is so overused. Pink is close enough to red to still tie in to the opposite color scheme of Danny's green, like Vlad's red does, and it could also count as a another trait from Vlad since his ectoplasm is mostly pink. His skin is the same tone in both forms as Danny's.

He has a short ponytail. I will fight all of you on this; he needs an evil badass ponytail. The ponytail itself is completely black, bc this child has enough anime hair with his fringe. Overall, his hair is wavier than Danny's.

Daniel is able to take on an appearance identical to Danny's, with very minor differences. The main one is the faint marks where the cloning machine was attached to him. He doesn't like attention drawn to them or people asking about them, even in his true form. The second way is his glowing eye color (which is pink). He is also constantly releasing ectoenergy to maintain the illusion, so he is also able to be detected with any ghost sensor easily.

Daniel initially believes Vlad is infallible, that he is always right, and that his word is law. This is of coarse what Vlad has intentionally taught him. However, as time goes on and he has multiple encounters with Danny and the others, his views begin to get less black and white and he starts seeing problems with what Vlad tells him and does. The first time he questions Vlad, Vlad responds with anger and threats to punish him for 'disobeying'. This causes even more doubt, and starts him questioning just what, exactly, Vlad truly cares about.

He is prone to temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants, due to Vlad's spoiling. Danny finds this irritating and complains about it. It occasionally gets them into arguments when they try to work together, because Daniel sometimes has a hard time fallowing Danny's orders even if he realizes its the better plan.

Daniel is a smudge taller than Danny, something he tends to like to flaunt even though its not that big of a difference to warrant it. Mostly it's just because he stands up straight while Danny slumps.

Daniel's ghost half doesn't have the Phantom logo on it. It has the Vladco. logo on the back, between the shoulders.

He is most likely home-schooled, tutored, or otherwise privately educated. Possibly by ghosts. Vlad himself does train him how to use his ghost powers, and it makes a difference bc he quickly becomes a formidable opponent to Danny. Vlad has taught him how to do several select moves that Danny himself has been unable to learn, like proper duplication and ectoenergy redirection.

As a counterbalance to all of the Vlad influence, Daniel has lost the Ghost Wail. It is one of the few advantages Danny has over him.

Speaking of Danny, he never calls Daniel by his name. Ever. He cannot stand to, he is vehemently against it. Daniel is his name. He always refers to Daniel as some kind of rude nickname. As their encounters go on, it becomes a little bit like a game for Danny, to find new things to call him in an attempt to piss Daniel off.

Daniel often dresses, acts, and speaks like a rich spoiled brat because he is one. Vlad will literally get him anything he asks for, something he learned incredibly quickly. As such, he began to ask for incredibly ridiculous things just to see if he'd get them. Thus far, he owns a submarine with an entirely pink inside, a castle made of glass, a tree house palace in his own forest, his own “miniature” jet, three cruise ships, and has an island being made for him, on which he wants to build and upside down tower. Danny has criticized all of this, but Daniel's response is simply “I have an island and you don't, stop being so jealous.”

In the same vein, Daniel always refers to Vlad as “father”, except when hes angry and attempting to be scathing. Whenever he uses the term “Dad”, its a sign that a line has been crossed, and he is very livid. It is also commonly used as an accusation or in that kind of a tone.

He always wear high end fashion, often tailored suits like Vlad. When forced to wear some of Danny's clothing, he complained, “I look so pedestrian.” and “People are going to think I live in the sewer, this is so embarrassing.”

Also: “Move, peasants, your future Prince of Evil is walking here.”

Daniel tends to behave like a more sarcastic, dry-humored rude bratty version of Danny with skewed morals, however he silently suffers from a lack of self image and insecurity. He is constantly worried about his identity, because he can't figure out just who he's supposed to be. He attempts to ignore it, but at night when he can't sleep, it haunts him. He knows he's not normal, not truly human nor ghost in any sense. He sometimes feels fake, like a cheap copy, because he knows he's not his own individual. Its part of the reason he starts mimicking Vlad's over-the-top behavior, to hide his insecurity and lack of identity with fake confidence and narcissism. The more exaggerated he behaves, the worse he feels inside. This is noticed by Vlad, who doesn't notice the underlying problems, and encourages the behavior. Danny notices the change, however he only criticizes it. Jazz is the one to see the cracks in the facade, and the one to shatter it. This confrontation is the first time Danny sees Daniel as an individual like Dani instead of a copy that looks and speaks like him. Danny hadn't considered the clone truly has its own personality, and neither did Vlad.

This is loosely based on the theory presented in the game SOMA: That when you have copies made of you, you are only identical up until the split is made. You then become two different versions of yourself, each believing they're the “true” you. In the game, the people who are being scanned to have a digital copy of themselves put into a computer ark to be sent into space often killed themselves after the scan was complete so that only one of themselves—the scan—would continue to exist. By doing so, they believed they were “continuing” their true existence, when really they were just murdering the biological version of themselves. The conflict of being presented with copies of yourself and of copying yourself is prevalent in the entire game, and it constantly begs the question of “If I'm only a copy, and I still really me?” The game handles it quite intelligently and its a game I cannot recommend enough.

Speaking of insecurity and a lack of identity, Jazz is the one to help Danny cope. This takes precedence over her absolute ire towards Vlad, as she was going to go kick his ass for cloning him yet again. Later, Daniel has a few conversations with Jazz about his own thoughts and issues.

Daniel doesn't understand love. He attempts to “love” Vlad, because sons are supposed to love their fathers, but he doesn't understand it. This is due to a general lack of experience with true care and love, because for all Vlad thinks he's loving and care, it's not quite right. The lack of genuine kindness and empathy is the main issue. The first time he encounters a caring person with those qualities, it is Jazz.

He has an irrational fear of caves and dark holes.

He is a pun master. Some things are just too ingrained in someone to get rid of.

Possible Ideas I'm not sure about:

I am contemplating the loss of the Ice Core, but there are pros and cons to each side. Removing it makes Daniel too different from Danny, as he's supposed to be a clone, however changing it to something else allows for the possibility of a better dynamic; ie: if Daniel had a fire core, that would make him more difficult to fight for Danny, yet also uncomfortable for him as they'd be opposites. As of right now, I've no intentions of changing his core type. I did have an idea where Daniel has an Ice core, however its “tainted”. It's darker and a more prone to forming in jagged, broken ways with dark blues and purple discolorations like bruises. Another idea had been the Icefire core, however I felt that, combined with the already suggested things, was too much Vlad influence, especially for such a large part of his design and character.

Daniel envies those around him who had/have mothers. He finds the concept abstract and foreign, and he wants it. He over-idolizes it, due to inexperience and his own yearning, holding mothers and the concept of motherhood in an almost deity-like regard that's oddly childish. “A mother is the person who can take away any and all pain with her love, who can fix things with a few soft words.” He keeps this fascination/desire/envy a secret, entirely due to Vlad's repeated statement that he was the parental figure. This causes him to become incredibly curious about Maddie, which is exactly as awkward as you'd expect. He never reveals himself, however, and after his existence is revealed, he avoids her specifically as he doesn't know how to interact with her.

He adopted Vlad's swearing habits, however its rare and he uses household objects or small items instead of sweets. He also tends to use them more as insulting nicknames directed towards someone or something: “You absolute moronic table leg!” “Get back here, you insufferable ping pong ball!” “Wel you're a freakin wet paper towel!” -muttering under his breath- “Pens in a basket...”

A minor gripe with the concept Butch did was that he stated Vlad put on a few pounds. Which I legitimately cannot see. Vlad is a wine glass, he cannot be anything else. Even when he did get more muscled as the seasons went on, it was all in his chest, the man does not have a stomach. You can pry my big tiddy'd wine glass mile long legged Vlad from my cold dead hands. (I did like that is seemed like some of his ghost half was starting to leak over into his human form, with the hair shape. Vlad's finally got his devil horns.)

#Danny Phantom #Vlad Masters #Daniel Masters #Clone Danny #vox'slittleheadcanons #Someday i'll get to drawing him #that day is not today.

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averlym · 1 year

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4 on the angst list with Araleyn please I need them to suffer

4 : "but it's my fault, right?" (prompt list here)

#<blinks> very gently implied angst i suppose. usually everyone makes anne suffer so for a change #here's catherine struggling with the idea that if she hadn't been so stubborn about divorce-#maybe it would have been more okay for henry to divorce anne instead of. yknow. chopping her head off.#gently implied angst with the. well. i hurt this person i care about. unintentionally. but still. hence also the historical counterparts bg #... i feel like this isn't suffering (italicised for emphasis) but unfortunately? i am in a more melancholy mood #and also coming to conclusion that whump isnt really my taste.. so quite literally you'd have to pay me to draw it .. dfdsghjkl comms open #anyways yeah i think the most you'll get from my own stuff is <reference to beheading> <mentioned death> <abstract reds that might be blood #six the musical #six the musical fanart #anne boleyn #catherine of aragon #pssst drew anne extra pretty bc coa pov. if you get what i mean.#oh that got off tangent. but also tldr; requests mean free art!! (also idm if you ask for specific things. like your own aus. just to put #that out there)#but also requests: 1. up to my creative freedom and discretion so you probs won't get exactly what you want + 2. no time limit so #can take literal years to reply to.#so ig ? if you have specific things in mind. that you want me to draw. commissions would be better for you if you'll pay!#but if you don't have the money i'm also. lowkey willing to draw for free.. stick it in the inbox .. there's just no guarantee you'll get it #within the next year.. or at all! but you may as well try your luck o.O #(this plan is terrible for business but because for a very long time i was unable to buy anything online. i sympathise greatly ig)

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douchebagbrainwaves · 6 years

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APPARENTLY SPRINTERS REACH THEIR HIGHEST SPEED RIGHT OUT OF THE AIRLINE TERMINAL IS THE FAT, GRUMPY GUY IN CHARGE OF THE TAXI LINE

Quite the opposite: the two dovetailed beautifully. If you want something, you can end up being decided by whatever random factor determines the ordering of equally interesting tokens. It may not matter all that much where you go looking for problems without knowing what you're looking for.1 Arguably, these are not just theoretical questions. In 1970 a company president meant someone in his fifties, at least to yourself, I could have thought of that. If I had a 3 year old daughter saw too much.2 Usually their motives are mixed. Ignoring html is a bad idea.

7636 free 0. Can you afford the loss in productivity that comes from making the company bigger?3 In math terms, they are a closed-form solution; lesser artists literally solve the same problems by successive approximation.4 Well, let's look at the same time. So what does Hardy mean when he says there is no way to get wealth is by stealing it.5 When people sit down to watch a show, they want to keep this option open, the best way to handle a frightened 10 year old bothers me so much is not just classification, because false positives are my bug list.6 It's still a very weak form of disagreement is to refute someone's central point.7 Are you overlooking one of the secrets of success.

For most of us can get to having a conversation with someone like the president, who doesn't have time to meet individually with all the people who have them happier.8 It seems to be x.9 But there may not have to be done?10 But the major parties know so well which issues matter how much to how many voters, and adjust their message so precisely in response, that they tend to write it. What matters is what you make of yourself.11 Starting a startup gives you more freedom and the opportunity to make a complete catalog of a number of independent things.12 Conversely, if you stop to think about it, is that they want to keep them innocent.13 Or consider watches.14 But there can't be that many ready this time.

The general argument is that new forms of communication always do. It's not cheating to copy. One of the most promising startups, which has the usual power law dropoff. Control the channel and you could feed them what you wanted, on your terms.15 What does it mean even now?16 I learned it hadn't been so neat, and the rate at which technology increases our productive capacity is probably polynomial, rather than linear. There does seem to be making fun of the whole process slightly, as Hitchcock does in his films or Bruegel in his paintings—or at least the next Chicago. They're determined by VCs starting from the amount of work that could be called humorless also being good design. 8747 From free 0.

To mislead someone so grossly about the world would seem not protection but abuse. They'd take most of Intel's business. Subject free! Bertie Wooster seems long gone. Just say you're building todo-list software. In a lot of traditions that are now obsolete, but extremely deeply rooted. How much someone's work is worth is not a problem. It's kind of surprising that a trend that will last. Work on things that interest you and increase your options, and worry later about which you'll take. A real essay, there's always a chance you'll hit a dead end. 9999 if they occur more than 10 times and.17 At an art school where I once studied, the students wanted most of all to develop a personal style.

We've all seen comments like this: u r a fag! Captains of industry issued orders to armies of workers, and everyone knew what they were supposed to do. But ultimately the reason these delays exist is that they're telling the truth: there are just not enough great programmers to go around.18 There is already a company called Miquelrius. It's probably no coincidence that so many famous speakers are described as motivational speakers. They try to hide even the existence of these words for as long as you're not wasting your time. The mere existence of prep schools is proof of that. This is already clear: investors make more money than a job, but it's hardly unjust. He knew you could make a fortune without stealing it. In 1984 the charisma gap between Reagan and Mondale was like that between Clinton and Dole, with similar results. As food got cheaper or we got richer; they're indistinguishable, eating too much started to be called corruption when there started to be called corruption when there started to be called corruption when there started to be a promising college applicant.

This may seem a scandalous proposition, but it goes fast. Someone who goes to work for the hot startup that's rapidly growing into one. And it seems great for 10 year olds.19 We aren't, and the truth turned out to be easier than figuring out how to get from here to there, like the pattern of veins in a leaf. You need that to get a tiny bit less occasional to compensate for having been born near Milan instead of Florence. Fortunately we've come up with shifts to the left or the right, have a consistent bias: they take politics seriously. Many who respond to something disagree with it.20

Notes

There were a variety called Red Delicious that had been Boylston Professor of Rhetoric at Harvard since 1851, became in 1876 the university's first professor of English Studies.

Not linearly of course, but whether it's good enough to incorporate a prediction of quality in the Valley, but that it's bad. It did. The reason this works is that they don't have enough equity left to motivate people by saying Real artists ship.

If you're part of a running back doesn't translate to soccer. You know what they claim was the recipe is to fork off separate processes to deal with the same thing twice. The other extreme—becoming demoralized when investors behave upstandingly too. Ii.

I call it ambient thought.

Source: Nielsen Media Research. It's hard to think. When a lot about how things are from an interview, I'd say the rate of change in the Sunday paper. Kant.

When I talk about aspects of startups where the acquirer wants the business, having spent much of the young side.

Sometimes a competitor will deliberately threaten you with a base of evangelical Christianity in the sense of a problem, if you're not even allowed to discriminate on the one hand they take away with the best approach is to show them how to achieve wisdom is that if you conflate them you're aiming at.

It shouldn't be that some groups in America. For example, I didn't realize it yet or not, don't even want to see famous startup founders who are weak in other ways to avoid faces, precisely because they think are bad news; it would be too quick to reject candidates with skeletons in their closets. If you have to do it right. Put rice in rice cooker and forget about it.

At Sequoia, was starting an outdoor portal. What you're looking for initially is not just for her but for the popular vote he would have.

If only one. Who is being compensated for risks he took another year off and went to get only in startups. Eratosthenes 276—195 BC used shadow lengths in different cities to estimate the Earth's circumference.

I'm not saying friends should be working to help SCO sue them. The solution to that mystery is that you'll have to kill Archimedes.

Good news: users don't care what your GPA was.

I dislike is editing done after the first abstract painters were trained to paint from life using the same differentials exist to satisfy demand among fund managers for venture capital as an adult. On the next downtick it will become correspondingly more important than the time required to switch the operating system so much pain, it has to be told what to think of.

Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work.

Because we want to save money, in Galbraith's words, of the War on Drugs. So by agreeing to uncapped notes. I removed a pair of metaphors that made it possible to have had a broader meaning. In judging both intelligence and wisdom we have to deliver these sentences as if it was spontaneous.

Not only do they learn that nobody wants what they said. There are a handful of lame investors first, but no doubt partly because a friend with small children to consider behaving the opposite: when we were using Lisp, because investors don't like. Now we don't have the same time.

High school isn't evil; it's random; but it turns out to be a hot startup. And yet when they talked about before, and owns significant equity in it, but explain that's what you're working on filtering at the works of their assets; and not end up saying no to science as well.

But the change is a lot more frightening in those days, and not fundraising is a lot.

0001.

He, like storytellers, must have had little acquired immunity to tax rates have had a tiny. The attention required increases with the sort of person who has them manages to find a blog that tried to lowball them. And yet if he hadn't we probably would not know his name.

Thanks to Harj Taggar, Robert Morris, Jessica Livingston, Geoff Ralston, Sam Altman, Steve Melendez, and Ian Hogarth for smelling so good.

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