#and also vice versa obvi

[dykebarbie]

just rewatched spirited. even gayer than the first time

[iamnotawomanimagod]

I think if there's one thing that truly, truly exhausts me about fandom now is when people very vehemently and passionately take sides and hate certain characters over others and dedicate entire blogs just to how much they hate those characters

it's not even in a "be nice, let people enjoy things" kind of way, like that's whatever, I don't need anyone's permission to enjoy anything.

it's more that it's just exhausting. it's just so much work to hate a character like that, especially if you're the type of blog to seek out empirical evidence to back up your viewpoints.

it's one thing to dislike a character and to talk about it. it's another thing to start like, a full-blown campaign trying to get other people on your side. aren't you tired?? don't you have like, actual real life things to do? go clean your room.

[gothsuguru]

i care less abt suguru in this fic i’m literally just thinking abt haigojo rn and their dynamic

[llycaons]

I honestly prefer reading in lwj's pov because he loves wwx and finds him very attractive obviously but he's less likely to just talk about what a perfect specimen of masculinity his partner is which is extremely uninteresting to me like it just makes him sound so bland

[veilblight]

i possess the face of a guy who knows street names & public transport

[fictioonbanger]

race car driver eren<3!

warnings?; smut obvi, hint of jealousy.

speedracer!eren; who loves driving you around in his all black srt hellcat, has a personal “y/n’s seat” tag in pink glitter on the bottom side of the passenger seat. “baby you didn’t..” you looked back at eren who stood behind you with a huge smirk on his face staring down at you, waiting for your reaction. he was so proud in himself he knew you’d love it. you were hugging him tightly placing soft wet kisses onto his neck. “you like it pretty? got it in pink for ya..” he groaned from under his deep voice as you kissed his chin and adams apple. feeling the vibration of his voice he spoke on your lips as you smirked to look up at him. “mm it’s beautiful my love, i love it.“ you couldn’t help but feel so giddy at erens actions he loved you.. he loved you as much as he did his precious car.

speedracer!eren; who got in trouble with you for driving so fast after his racing match taking you both home, still pumped up on adrenaline. “eren you hit this corner hard so god help me.” you said sternly looking at him, you hated when he drove fast. eren would think your being over dramatic everytime you told him to slow down. to him he doesn’t think he’s going fast.. but i mean obviously is. “mm yeah beautiful.” he’d hum and stare at your pouted glossed lips giving them a long warm peck as he leaned over the arm rest to your seat. “no, im serious ren, ‘hate that shit.” you didn’t react to his kiss and still kept stern. “aight yea baby i heard you..’m sorry y’know i don’t mean to.” he placed another kiss on your pouted lips that you eventually gave into. you hated when he raced also, i mean at a point it was too much and everytime you’d watch and support him from the side line your stomach would bubble and ache. every hard turn he took, the tumbling of the other cars on the side of him from getting hit by another, the anticipation waiting to see your husband cross the finish line and seeing the green flag wave so highly. the relief and squeal you would let out seeing him catch first place.

speedracer!eren; who proposed to you after he won his first game 4 years ago, you’d been dating him before his racing career. supporting him all the way with every decision he made, being by his side in moments of need.. vice versa. you’re his high school sweetheart, you’re his day one. eren loved showing you off, letting everyone know you’re his, will forever be and only. he took you to car shows that everyone expected you to be at, having you in the car of course as he showed out to everyone. driving circles with his driver friends who were right behind him shouting from their cars to the other people in the circle crowd. you deep down had a little hatred for the shows, you hadn’t honestly realized how many women loved your man. screaming his name from the crowd, trying to walk up towards him for a autograph, batting their lashes at him to get his attention at his conferences. eren tried to act like he didn’t notice, he did, but he didn’t notice your attitude towards it.

speedracer!eren; “don’t act like you didn’t notice how close she was trying to get to you, not to mention she SAT her hand on your shoulder while laughing.” you huffed out to eren after the dinner with some friends and employees at the racing center while he was driving home. all he could do was chuckle, that’s all he ever did when you complained. you hated it , it was like eren never took you seriously. after your words you sat quiet in the car as he drove, nothing but the sound of the car revving. “why you bein so quiet?” eren turned his head towards you eyebrows furrowed scanning your every move as you sat there with crossed arms, looking out the window, your signature move. eren didn’t answer you for a reason, he didn’t understand why you were jealous. he never paid attention to anyone else, especially any other woman. why should you feel like someone could ever take your spot? he knew what you were feeling and your feelings were oh so understandable. he just couldn’t have you thinking like that, he sighed and drove the whole way silent. you’d occasionally glance at him gripping the wheel and starring ahead of him not saying a word.

speedracer!eren; who finally got you both home, opening the car door for you and walking behind you silently into your shared home. you sighed and rolled your eyes at his silence and dropped your purse onto the counter walking towards your shared room. you were stopped and taken aback a bit by the force that slightly shoved you into the wall. eren had you put between both him and the cold wall behind you looking down at your eyes. his green orbs piercing into your own, like he was scanning your face all over again for the first time. “r-ren? what’re you doing?!” you said in a confused and honestly irritated tone looking back up at him waiting for a answer. he didn’t reply just tilting his head and raising his eyebrow at the way you spoke to him. he didn’t like when you were mad at him, especially for something he didn’t do. it wasn’t intentional of letting the woman touch and flirt with him. he just ignored it and didn’t care like the usual, his attention was fully forged on you the entire time anyway. “who you talking to like that?” he was searching for a answer out of you. the scowl look on your face and you hurriedly crossing your arms made eren roll his eyes. he knew you were upset about the situation but what could he do? “you! ren! now move please..i need to get in the showe-“ eren scoffed hearing you speak, and grabbed your wrist before turning towards the room. you were so confused of the sudden movements but followed behind.

speedracer!eren; who fucked you all night, having you recite how much you meant to him. “you’re daddies only girl right? nobody could replace you y/n.” he mumbled the last words while looking down at where you two were connected. the white ring forming from the last orgasm you had and his pre cum mixing, he was groaning from the sight and landed a hard smack to your ass to wake you up from your last orgasm. you were face into the pillow and yelped from the contact letting out a accidental moan at the stinging feeling. “stay up f’ me pretty..need you awake baby, wanna hear you repeat it.” eren spoke softly sliding in and out of you effortlessly. hitting your soft spongy spot over and over making a whimper leave your lips with every thrust into you. “mm yeah i’m daddies only g-girl! fuck!” your eyes rolled in the back of your head as you spoke and moaned your words. eren smirked hearing your words and decided to stop finally teasing and get you your last nut. thrusting faster, gripping tighter on your waist slamming you back onto his dick, and fucking into you. eren was a groaning mess and his thrust started to recklessly come on as he was finna nut. “cum with me pretty please baby, just wanna make you feel g-good..fuck.” eren plead out a breathy moan as he tilted his head, thrust sputtering as hot stream’s of cum swarmed your tummy. you came on his dick, gripping onto the sheets below you, eyes shutting tightly as you continued to still throw back on him to finish your nut. eren was gripping your waist tightly, biting his bottom lip and whimpering as he continued to release into your tight cunt. snapping his hips into you more as he drained himself into you. you were gripping him, literally milking his dick. eren sat with a half open mouth as he finished and groaned. setting his forehead on your shoulder from behind you, panting and rubbing up your back with a warm hand. he placed soft kisses onto the crook of your neck and back. “stop thinking you got competition with these bitches y/n, they could never be you baby. let alone breathe the same air as you my love..” eren mumbled into your shoulder as you both came down from your high. you were tired and fucked out but you listened to every word he spoke. you shouldn’t be jealous, eren was wrapped around your finger as you were of him.

[abigail-pent]

some things I'm noticing (again) in my ??th gtn reread:

- Cytherea has a whole little monologue about how if you're going to create or pull thanergy it has to be by taking thalergy and vice versa. You can only join death to life or life to death, kind of like batteries

- Basically I'm more convinced than ever that the entrance to the Tower is under the Canaan House facility -- Teacher says it's the most dangerous place in the whole Nine Houses, and we know by now that Alecto was not there, so I am pretty sure it's the Tower

- ten billion unfed ghosts in the Tower, under Canaan House, which were there since the Resurrection; sounds like the tongue guys tbh.

- there's a whole bit about how Silas sends Colum's soul *away* and exploits the space it leaves behind, which is meant to be the opposite of what the Second House does. the Second House takes enemy thanergy to create more thalergy for the cavalier. so I think that means the Eighth takes in thalergy - like from the whole room, I think this is why the color starts draining from everyone whenever Silas does it to Colum - to create more thanergy for ... maybe both the necromancer and the cavalier?

- Anyway I just kind of think John's bomb + eating Earth basically ripped open a wormhole to tongue guy space (the stoma) and he pushed the ten billion through. giving up a shit ton of thalergy to create the first source of thanergy. like Silas does to Colum but bigger. and this created the tongue guys and the tower was built to contain them.

- this is maybe also why John has said siphoning is the most dangerous thing any House had ever thought up - he does like to say this kind of thing from personal experience

- there are sure a lot of towers referenced in Canaan House and then we don't really get towers again until Nona, with the Tower Princes and, obvi, the Tower.

- I am very fine and normal about Silas and Colum and have never cried about them, what are you even talking about

- the Tower is a tarot card that "is associated with sudden, disruptive revelation, and potentially destructive change." Sounds like John's flashbacks in Nona to me tbh

- the Eighth breeding program is still interesting and a mystery to me, mainly because I'm not very clear on what blood type matches have to do with necromancy. But it does feel like the most medical aspect of the modern Eighth and therefore probably the part that Mercy had the most influence over.

- but actually I think "the Eighth breeds batteries" makes more sense to me than ever if the point of sending Colum's soul away is to take his thalergy to bring Silas more thanergy. Which is siphoning, exactly - it's the avulsion trial. And I suppose that would be easier to do if the necromancer and cavalier were a closer genetic match. But then I guess I don't understand why everyone else in the room loses color when that happens. Is that because of where Silas is sending Colum in those moments?

- also then it makes me wonder if Cam and Pal really could have done the avulsion trial without giving Cam brain damage. They are a super close genetic match. Harrow and Gideon are *not*, of course, but I think they pulled through because Gideon has extra thalergy from her dad's side.

- you know who would be a PERFECT genetic match? the Tridentarii! really wondering if this will come up in Alecto... Corona actually would be perfect for Ianthe to siphon because there is no genetic difference between them.

- is it going to be important at some point that the Chaturs have been cavaliers since the time of the Resurrection? is Jeannemary a descendant of Titania?

- when Teacher laments the "poor child" he could be talking about... almost anyone. Dulcinea, Cytherea, Isaac, Jeannemary. Anastasia. Like really anyone

- in retrospect it's extremely weird that Aiglamene tells Gideon she's up to the standards of "a bad cavalier, one who's terrible" and then when Gideon gets to Canaan House and starts dueling people, she's like one of the best? Crazy fast, hero-worshipped by Jeannemary, and even Babs said it was "incredible" to fight her. Like that's strange that Aiglamene's expectations were apparently much higher than any House cavalier primary.

- there's something so fascinating about the scene where Babs stops Corona from fighting Gideon. like it becomes really clear to me that he is in on Ianthe's ruse, and that Corona has been fighting to get out of it for a long time - maybe her whole life - and can't. They're both terrified of Ianthe and Babs is constantly trying to protect Corona *from Ianthe*. But Corona is so tied up in the toxicity of the relationship, and the love of it, that she can't accept Babs' help even when consists only of taking her side in an argument between the twins, as in the first scene when they're overheard on the stairs. She can't even accept Babs' help when it consists of dying instead of her. Ugh the whole thing is so domestic-abuse coded...

- "she had bitten him, apparently to soothe her own obscure feelings" I say this to/about my cats often

idk probably more later

[effy-writes]

Fizzarolli x Reader x Asmodeus HC

• You always tend to wear Fizz's clothes. You'll say your clothes are in the wash but both Ozzie and Fizz know that that's an excuse to wear his clothes. Sometimes you would steal his pj's to wear around the house and in bed. Fizz would look for them every night before finally realizing that you're wearing them. The first time he caught you wearing his pj's you were already in the bed sleeping beside of Ozzie. Ozzie would laugh to himself seeing Fizz scavange around the room looking for them until Ozzie finally pointed to you sleeping nice and cozy in Fizz's pj's.

• Ozzie LOVES washing your hair. Every time you tell him that you're gonna take a shower/bath he's always rushing in to wash your hair. He finds it so sensual to message your scalp using warm water, pouring on your favorite scent onto your hair and lather it. It's super relaxing to you, feeling his big hands work slowly around your head to get your hair clean. When it's time to wash the shampoo and conditioner out he'll put one hand over your eyes and the other hand on the shower handle to get the soap out of your hair.

• Because Fizz doesn't have any feeling on his arms and legs (obvi), you use your tail to hold his tail whenever you guys are walking (as well as holding his hand). You know he loves physical touch and wants to let everyone know that you're in a relationship with him, so holding his tail with yours is a win-win. He can feel your touch, at the same time hold your hand. He also loves using his face and tail to touch your body. Rubs his cheek on yours (face cheek, jesus), rubs his tail along your torso, arms, legs, genitals, everywhere because he wants to feel you.

• After having a long day out or getting sick you love to crawl on Ozzie's lap and sleep. Ozzie finds it cute to watch you climb onto his lap and get comfy like a cat (he also calls you kitty as a nickname). He loves to watch you sleep, not in a creepy way, but he knows that you're safe and comfortable whenever you're sleeping on or next to him, he makes him happy and so he can't help to watch you sleep.

• When it's time for bed you're always in the middle of the double king size bed. Fizz and Ozzie (especially Ozzie) feel like it's their job to protect you, so they want you in the middle. You don't mind it though. Sometimes Ozzie is the big spoon and you're holding Fizz (and vice versa) Other times both you and fizz are laying on top of Ozzie.

• Fizz is so good at massages because of his mechanical arms. He loves giving them to you without even asking because he knows it makes you happy (and he gets happy when you're happy). He'll give you a full body massage from your shoulders allll the way down to your feet. He'll ask if you want him to massage your ass muscles, and 99% of the time you'll say yes.

• For some reason you are always getting hurt. Whether it's falling down from a dance pole, scraping your knees from tripping on your shoes, Ozzie is always the one to bandage you up. He'll be worried about you, but then scold you on how to be more careful next time. He always says pole dancing is hard and that you have to be patient with it but you didn't listen. So he is always begging you to slow down on it so you won't get hurt again.

• Fizz loves kissing your cheek and your hands. He'll greet you with hand kisses and says goodbye with cheek kisses. Ozzie however, loves kissing the top of your head. He's much taller so the closest thing he can kiss quickly is the top of your head. Other than that, he's like Fizz, kissing your hand and sometimes your neck.

•Lastly, the two of them absolutely HATES to see you cry. Especially Ozzie, he will literally go haywire and might kill someone. So whenever you need some sort of comfort you go to Fizz. He'll hold you, rock you, and let you cry it out to him while he comforts you. He lets you know how much you're worthy and how much he and Ozzie loves you. If Ozzie catches you crying he will first beg you to tell him who hurt you, but then soon enough does the same thing what Fizz does, but he's still more on the "i'm gonna fuck somebody up"

[vainvenus]

⌲;꒰ Drunk words are just sober thoughts. ꒱

Pairing :: JJ Maybanks x Fem!Reader

Synopsis :: You and JJ are best friends. Nothing more, nothing less. At least, that's what you thought.

Includings :: CW for EMETOPHOBIA (puking and talk/mention of it), best friends to lovers, mutual pinning, jealous!JJ, drinking, almost violence, pogue!reader, drunken confessions, hangovers, mostly fluff, kisses.

An :: Finally got into Outerbanks so I'm obvi taking requests!

You and JJ had been best friends for as long as anybody could remember despite how the two of you were kind of opposites.

JJ was a wild card, there was no telling what he would do in any given moment. He was rambunctious and impulsive. It seemed that no matter where he went trouble liked to follow.

You were the perfect balance to that, you were careful and logical. If there ever was an issue you were quick to think of a way to get him out of trouble or to at least keep him out of it as long as you could.

The two of you were a perfect duo, balancing the other one out. And you weren't total opposites all the time. You sometimes gave in to his stupid ideas and he sometimes followed your advice when brewing up a particularly horrible idea.

The two of you were also the most well known duo in the OBX. You were almost always together. Wherever one of you were, the other one couldn't be too far away.

So everybody was a little, if not a lot confused when JJ arrived at the Boneyard for another party that John B was hosting and you weren't at his side or on his back.

Pope's brows furrowed as the blonde grabbed a beer from one of the coolers, popping it open as he took a seat next to him. "Where's [Y/n]? I thought she'd be trailing behind you as soon as you got here or vice versa."

"She had to take somebody's shift." He replied, his tone having a bit of bitterness to it before he took a couple of sips from the bottle.

"And why do you seemed more pissed than you should be about it?"

"It's with Chris."

Pope nodded, it seemed that almost everyone was aware of JJ's true feelings towards you except for you. It was ironic and honestly funny if it didn't seem to cause JJ so much distress.

"Chris again, huh?" And JJ had rolled his eyes, setting the now empty bottle aside. "Yeah, Chris again. It's like witchcraft how they always work the same shifts. Even surprise ones."

Pope shrugged his shoulders as he watched the boy grab another drink. "She's probably not into him man, I wouldn't stress it. And if she was, don't you think she would say something about now?"

JJ only shrugged as he downed the second bottle of beer.

When you finally did arrive to the party you had Chris attached at your hip and JJ was on his fifth bottle of beer. A mixture of events that was bound to end in disaster.

JJ's nose scrunched up as he looked at you and Chris exiting from your car, his lips turning into a scowl as he watched the ginger rush around the car to help you out from the driver's side.

"Great. She brought him with, he should know he's not wanted here." JJ murmured to Pope and John B who were trying to coax him out of grabbing another drink. Pope muttered. "Everyone's allowed to be here technically..."

JJ rolled his eyes again as Kie made her way over to the two. Kie grabbed a water bottle that was deep down in the cooler, buried under a couple of beers. She twisted the cap and looked over to the blonde. "What's wrong with him?"

"His girl came here with her coworker and now he's all jealous." John B said and JJ narrowed his eyes at him. "Not my girl." He muttered which caused the group to roll their eyes.

"Well you better fix your face because here they come."

JJ almost crushed the can in his hand as he saw you walking over with Chris, holding on to his arm as you brought him over to your four friends. And you were giggling, just what could be so damn funny?

"Look who finally decided to join us and with a plus one." John B hummed, holding out a bottle/can of [f/drink]. You smiled, humming out a 'thank you'.

"Oh right, this is Chris. Chris this is John B, Kie, Pope and JJ!" You introduced with a wide smile on your face, trying to ignore how JJ seemed to to be glaring into Chris's soul.

If looks could kill the ginger would be six feet under.

Nonetheless Chris gave a smile as he waved to everybody. "It's nice to finally put a face to all these stories [Y/n] tells. Especially you, she talks about you the most." He said, gesturing to JJ.

"Oh really?" JJ hummed, a smile on his face that seemed to mock the one that Chris had. "Good things, I hope."

"If having a killer right hook is a good thing, totally." The ginger chuckled and JJ got up and nodded his head with a small chuckle. "Yeah. That's me. You wanna see it in action?"

Chris's brows furrowed and before he could fully understand the question you had grabbed JJ's right hand which was balled in a fist and gave a strained smile to the boy.

"I'm gonna take JJ home, he's had a bit too much to drink tonight. He doesn't think straight and ends up making extremely dumb choices." Your tone grew harsh at the last two words, sending a glare to JJ as your grip tightened around the his wrist.

Chris nodded, brows furrowing a bit. "Oh, okay! Are you coming back?"

"Probably not..unless you need a ride back home?" You offered.

"No, it's fine. Stay safe and uh..it was really nice meeting you JJ!"

"A pleasure." The blonde hissed as you dragged him away to your car.

You opened the car door, pushing him into the car's passenger side as you reached over his chest to put on his seatbelt which he mumbled something under his breath about them being stupid.

You ignored his mumbling, sitting in the driver's side as you drove away from the Boneyard. You took your time, not wanting to drive fast and upset the boy's stomach but just in case you kept the window down.

"I don't like Chris."

JJ finally spoke after the entire ride of silence until you pulled up to your home and helped him get out of your car. You were lucky your parents had been out for the night so JJ could stay over just until he was sober and his soon to be hangover hit.

"And why is that? He hasn't done anything to you." You retorted as you helped him up the stairs, walking as slow as possible since he almost fell face first when you attempted to rush up them.

He was about to argue as he leaned against the banister but his breath was coming out in short huffs and he was holding his stomach. Your eyes widened as you rushed him to the bathroom.

You quickly flipped on the light he rushed to hang his head over the toilet bowl.

You grabbed the few strands of his sunkissed blonde locks, holding his hair back as he emptied most of what he had drank out into the toilet.

You would have cringed, wanting to puke yourself but since this wasn't first time you had taken care of JJ when he got drunk like this you had basically grown use to it.

You patted his back with your free hand as his head leaned back over the toilet to throw up again. "Mhm... there you go." You hummed.

When it seemed that he was finally finished you wiped his mouth with a warm face towel and got him a pair of clothes to change into, one of the many pairs he kept at your house since you insisted it would come in handy.

And per usual, you were right.

He had changed into a random graphic tee and a pair of sweatpants, tucked into your sheets with your soft covers thrown over him and the fan on it's highest setting since he complained about his skin burning.

You left, shortly coming back with a bucket next to the foot of the bed just in case he had anymore to puke out in the middle of the night.

You left the room again to grab him a cup of water and aspirin. JJ mumbled something incoherently as you handed him the aspirin and he quickly swallowed them then downed them with the water.

He pulled the cup away from his lips but you shot him a glare.

"The whole thing, JJ." He groaned again and reluctantly drank the rest. He set the empty cup by the counter, getting back comfy under the the covers.

"I hate him, y'know."

"Who?"

"Chris."

"Oh we're back to this." You hummed, moving a few strands of his hair from his face and he nodded as he leaned into your touch.

"Why don't you like him? Tonight was the first night you even met him." You questioned with a small frown and JJ didn't seem to care as he huffed.

"Don't care. He's trying to take you away from me. Did you see his hands all over you?"

"It's time to go to bed now." You said, ignoring his complaint. You could talk about this when he was in a much better headspace. As you tried to pull your hand away from his hair but he grabbed your wrist in attempts to keep you there.

"Wait! Please don't go.."

"I'll just be downstairs on the couch like any other night." You reassured, confused at his sudden clinginess. He shook his head again.

"Please. I don't wanna be alone right now. I..I love you. That's why I really hate Chris or any guy you talk about honestly." He continued.

"Jealousy is so gross, wish there was some sort of medicine for it..." Word vomit. Much more easier to stomach than actual vomit but you new it was just him drunkenly rambling although this was the first he confessed he loved you.

"JJ. You're drunk. You don't love me, you're just saying whatever right now. We'll talk about this in the morning, if you even remember." You pulled your hand from his, putting the covers back over his body.

"When I'm sober and say it, will you believe it?"

"Mhm. Sure. See you in the morning." You muttered, obviously not paying attention to anything else that was leaving his lips as you left your room.

|★|

JJ groaned as he woke up, rubbing his head before he ran his fingers through his hair to get the stands out of his face. His head was pounding as his eyes squinted from the sun peaking through the blinds.

The smell of something cooking filled his nostrils as he scratched the back of his head and tried to remember the events of last night.

Then everything hit him like a freight train as he sprinted to the kitchen.

He saw you standing in front of the oven and making pancakes, his favorite hangover remedy food. You looked over your shoulder and smiled.

"Well good morning, sleeping beauty! Asprin's on the table. You can take them after-"

"I love you."

There was a moment of silence as he got closer to you and he spoke a little louder.

"I love you, [Y/n]. I meant it last night and I really mean it now." He restated, only putting a few inches of space between the two of you.

"So you were serious?" You asked and he nodded his head so fast you were sure it could've fallen off.

"Yes! C'mon! You said you would believe when I'm sober! Do you not feel the same? Because if you don't I'd like for you to save me the em-"

You grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him closer to you as you pressed your lips against his and his eyes widened in slight surprise before he leaned into the kiss to reciprocate it. You smiled against his lips before pulling away.

"I love you too JJ." You placed another kiss on his cheek before muttering; "Now go take a shower, you smell like fucking a morgue."

"Yes, ma'am." He chirped, giving you a two finger salute as he walked back up the stairs towards the bathroom.

[atinylittlepain]

Hi, love your writing!!! Anyways, I was thinking, a Joel x Reader! One-shot, where the reader possibly messes up a deal or trade with a different group and Joel is PIIIIIISSSSSEEEDDDD (grumpy angry Joel bc yes obvi 🧎🏻‍♀️) so anyways they go back to Jackson and he slowly gets over it y'know, BUT then when the next occasion for a trade arises, Joel brings reader along and it seems like Joel is betraying the reader, trading her for supplies (possibly handing her over to enemies or some real sick people) but then he reveals its a ploy to get the upper hand on the group and the two take out (k1ll) the bandits and Joel is basically like " I would never trade you for anything even if you mess up sometimes" Yada Yada fluff 💕💕💕

-yc :3

baaaabe, apologies for my delayed reply, but i love some good angst and wanted to do it right <3

gif by @riley-keoughs

Cold as Ice

Joel Miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

when she messes up on a job, Joel's anger freezes her out harder than the biting Wyoming winter.

warnings | 18+ angst, canon-typical violence, feelingsssss

..................

She was freezing. It was the middle of winter in Wyoming, and she was shaking so hard she could barely steady her hands on her rifle. It didn’t help that she was laid out in the snow on her stomach right now, peering out from an overlook at Joel and the men he was dealing with. She knew it shouldn’t be much longer though, so she did her best to steady her focus back on the scene in front of her. 

Joel had asked her to hang back while he traded with them, men that he had encountered a few weeks back on a solo patrol shift. Always careful to keep the existence of Jackson a secret, Joel had told the men that he was a lone survivor, making camp in the valley of the mountains for the winter. While the men had accepted this lie, they had also asked to meet soon to trade, something that Joel couldn’t deny without stirring suspicion. So, he made a plan to return to the plains the next week, bringing her along for hidden back-up if need be. 

She had said yes to joining him without hesitation.​ They’ve been partners for a while, having traipsed across the states with Ellie in tow and witnessed their fair share of horrors. Somewhere along the way, they had started seeking a little more creature comfort in each other, but she had chalked it up to just that, comfort, no need for feelings messing things up. 

Where Joel goes, she goes, and vice versa. But as she shivered in places she didn’t know could shiver, she wanted more than anything to be back in town where the unfathomable luxury of space heaters exists. 

Her nose was running, snot freezing right to her face as she tried to keep her eyes on the men down in the valley, but the deep itch of cold kept forcing her to rub her face in the crook of her arm.

It happened so quickly she didn’t have time to even think of stopping it, a hard sneeze racking her body. She was lucky her finger wasn’t on the trigger, but the men still seemed to have noticed it, heads whipping around to look up the hill that she was tucked behind. She could hear a swell of heated murmuring between Joel and the men. She pressed herself as flat into the ground as she could, praying that they would chalk it up to the whipping wind or an animal. The men’s questioning chatter died down into silence and she held her breath as the only sound that remained was that of boots trudging closer through the snow. 

She craned her neck up just enough to look out over the hill, relief flooding through her at the sight of only Joel hiking toward her, the four other men receding in the opposite direction. Her relief was short-lived, however, with the way he hauled her onto her feet with a harsh hand hooked under her arm, pushing her to keep walking along with him.

“What the hell was that?” Suddenly, the cold was the least of her worries, with the way Joel was seething beside her. She stumbled over her reply.

“I-I fucked up. I’m– I’m sorry.” 

“We don’t get to fuck up. Not out here. You know that.” Her heart dropped at the harsh tone of his words.

“Wh–what happened with those guys? Where are they going?” Joel huffed, keeping his eyes forward as they continued to trek back home.

“They got spooked. Gonna have to come back in a few days to finish this fucking deal. You’re lucky they weren’t smart enough to think anything more of that sound.” It was the last thing either of them said the whole hike back to Jackson, Joel’s anger cracking and fissuring between them until the distance felt insurmountable. 

For the first time since they settled in the house Tommy gave them, she slept in her own bed that night, startling awake to the sound of Joel slamming the door to his room.

…

It had been a quiet few days back in Jackson. She had been avoiding Joel as best she could, and he did nothing to stop her, each of them taking odd shifts to stay out of the house as much as possible. Ellie had sensed there was something wrong right away and had asked her “what the fuck happened” but all she could do was sigh and shake her head at the thick heat rising in her throat. 

More than anything, she was upset at herself, that she had made such a stupid mistake. But a close second to that feeling was the wary fear she felt being the subject of Joel’s obvious ire. If they happened to cross each other’s paths, he wouldn’t so much as look at her, keeping his head down and his brow furrowed as he quickly shuffled off. She hadn’t been sleeping at all either, having gotten so used to tangling up with him each night. There was no warmth, no steady heartbeat to lull her to sleep alone in her own bed. 

She was starting to resign herself to this new reality in which Joel Miller seemed to want nothing to do with her. She told herself that she’d stick around for Ellie, but otherwise, she’d keep away from the man she had so clearly let down. This didn’t last long, however, not when Joel sought her out at the stables, sidling up next to her where she was grooming one of the mares. It was hard to look at him, and she resolved herself to keeping her attention on the horse as he spoke in a hushed tone.

“I, uh, need your help tomorrow.” She couldn’t help the scoff she let out at that.

“Why would you want my help? I’ll probably just fuck it up anyways.” She knew it was a childish thing to say the moment it left her mouth, a heavy silence falling between them after. Joel finally cleared his throat to press on. 

“Gotta go back out tomorrow to finish that deal. Nobody else can know what’s going on, Maria’d probably have my head if she found out.” Her heart sank at the realization that the only reason he was asking her for her help was because she was the only person he could ask. She let out a harsh cough to mask the thick sadness creeping up her throat, nodding at his words, but still not looking at him.

“Alright, fine. We’ll head out in the morning.” Another stilted silence fell on them. She knew Joel well enough to tell that he had something else to say, by the way he was toeing his boot into the ground and lingering next to her. But he seemed to think better of it, letting out a sigh and grumbling that he’d meet her at the gate in the morning as he was already trudging out of the stables. 

…

The silence was maddening. They had been walking for a few hours, getting closer to the meeting point, but it had felt like an eternity with the way neither of them was speaking. They had never been particularly talkative on the road, but by the time they had settled in Jackson they had warmed to each other enough to usually keep a quiet conversation going. No longer able to stand it, she finally cleared her throat, words puffing out into the cold air.

“Joel? I am sorry– about last time. I–” Before she could finish speaking, Joel came to a halting stop, pressing her back behind him, and it was then that she saw the four men coming toward them, guns cocked. Shit.

“Drop your weapons! And whoever you got tucked behind you better step out to the side.” Joel glanced at her over his shoulder, a hesitant nod as she shuffled out alongside him, both of them shouldering off their guns, palms up as the group of men closed in. 

One of the men let out a low whistle, looking her up and down like a piece of meat.

“Was that noise we heard last time you, pretty?” She pressed her lips into a thin line, trying hard not to give anything away in her expression. The men all laughed, but Joel was quick to cut through it with a firm few words.

“This doesn’t have to be a problem. We can still trade.” The men instantly steeled back into silence, the mouths of their guns all aiming at Joel. The man who seemed to be the leader sneered.

“Was I talking to you, man? No.” He turned his attention back to her.

“Why don’t you walk over to us, pretty? Then turn around nice and slow so you’re facing your man.” With four guns aimed at them, she knew the man wasn’t asking, he was telling, so she did as he said, quietly trudging through the snow closer to the group before turning around to face Joel.

“Can’t blame you for hiding this one from us, buddy.” The man sauntered closer to her and she had to will herself to keep from flinching as he pressed up behind her, frostbit fingers skittering along her cheek. 

“What’s your name, honey?” She muttered her name to the man, trying to keep as still as possible as he skated the barrel of his gun along the side of her neck. She couldn’t help the quiet yelp that escaped her lips when he brought his other hand to the swell of her thigh, squeezing hard. She didn’t dare look at Joel, shame rising like hot bile in her throat.

“S’a pretty name for a pretty girl. Don't you think your boyfriend here was a little rude for not introducing us?” The men laughed again, a sound that sat heavy in her stomach. The man behind her hummed a little, pressing his cheek against hers as he looked over her shoulder at Joel.

“Isn’t he a little old for you, honey?” The men snickered, and her eyes finally darted to Joel’s face, his eyes squinted, mouth screwed up. A shiver of fear ran up her spine because for the first time in a while she couldn’t read him, couldn’t parse out what he was thinking or feeling in that moment. She had never felt so alone.

A gasp escaped her mouth when the man wrapped his forearm around her chest, cocking the barrel of his gun right under her chin as he kept his eyes set on Joel. She thought she could see his fingers flex where his hands were still held up.

“Tell you what, pal. I’ve got a new deal for you. You let us take this sweet thing off your hands, and in return, we won’t shoot you where you stand.” Blood rushed in her ears, an icy panic settling in at the way Joel wasn’t seeming to refuse, to offer up some alternative. She couldn’t help thinking that maybe this really was it, that Joel Miller was cutting her loose and feeding her to the wolves. Her thoughts were jolted by the sound of the man cocking his gun again, pressing the barrel a little harder into her jaw.

“I’d rather not ask twice, man. Do we have a deal or not?” She could see the bob of Joel’s throat, but he refused to look at her, his gaze staying on the man holding her up. 

“She has my knife. Just let me get it back and she’s all yours.” His words felt like a quick kick to the stomach and she choked on her breath, but her mind followed fast with the realization that what Joel said was a lie. His face was still unreadable, but it was becoming clear that he had a plan. The man behind her let out a breathy chuckle before harshly shoving her forward toward Joel, he catching her forearms to steady her.

“Go ahead, then. But make it fast.” Joel finally looked at her, reaching around her to unzip her pack, she guessed to look like he really was digging around for his knife. He ducked his head down, his words a low murmur just barely heard above the whistling wind.

“Know you keep a side piece in here. You still got your knife?” She offered him a faint nod.

“I’ll cover you. On my word.” She could feel his hand in her pack closing around the pistol she had stowed in there. She met his gaze again, one more jerk of a nod followed by Joel’s muttered “now.” 

They did what they do best. She whipped around in a flash, Joel already shooting one man down as she ran up on the others. The three men left standing were so disoriented, unsure where to aim their guns, and she made quick work of a second man, striking her blade across his throat and sending him down to his knees, warm blood spurting across her face. Joel was quick to put a bullet in another one, leaving the leader for her. She was more than happy to jam her blade up into the softness beneath his ribs, watching blood gurgle out of his mouth before he slumped to the ground. 

Her hands were shaking as her eyes swept over the aftermath, but Joel quickly came up behind her, spinning her around to face him and cupping her jaw in his palms, eyes searching her expression.

“You alright? Not hurt anywhere?” She shook her head in his hold, finally letting out a stuttering laugh, making Joel furrow his brow at her.

“What? What is it?” 

“I just– really thought you were gonna let them take me for a second there. Thought you were finally done with me.” His face slackened at her words before he snapped back with a gruff scoff.

“You fucking serious right now?” She shrugged, eyes not quite meeting his.

“After last time, figured you didn’t want to work with a fuck-up anymore.” Joel made a harsh sound in the back of his throat, dipping his head down to try to catch her gaze.

“That’s bullshit. You’re my partner. I’m not gonna fucking dump you just ‘cause you made a mistake. That’s not how this works, how we work.” She finally met his gaze, a little fire kicking up in her anger.

“Oh, it’s not? Then why have you been avoiding me like the fucking plague ever since?” She didn’t get an answer, Joel breaking away and quietly muttering that they needed to get home.

Another agonizingly quiet walk back to Jackson.

…

When they got back, she was quick to stomp off toward their house, but could feel Joel watching her the whole way as he trailed behind. She was sick of getting jerked around by him, and now it seemed the tables were turned and it was she who wanted him out of her sight.

She took the stairs two at a time, quickly shuffling into the upstairs bathroom and shutting the door behind her. She wasn’t expecting there to be so much blood spattered across her face when she looked in the mirror, and the sight made her pause, her breath catching in her throat. It wasn’t the first and it wouldn’t be the last time she had to harshly scrub away the remnants of violence. 

The soft click of the bathroom door opening didn’t stop her from continuing to drag a damp washcloth across her face, skin going red and splotchy under her ministrations. 

“Hey, hey. Just stop– will you look at me, please?” Calloused hands grabbed her wrists to stop her movements, turning her toward him. Joel let out a long sigh when she still wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“Look, I’m sorry for the way I acted. I was never mad at you– was mad at the fucking situation. A-and I was trying to create some distance before I said something I didn’t mean. Never wanna hurt you– you’re– I–” he stopped himself with another sigh, leaning back against the sink. She tentatively stepped between his legs, her wrists still held firm in his hands between them.

“I’m sorry too, Joel. It was an accident– but it was a stupid one. Fucking hate that I let you down.” He let go of her wrists to bring one hand to cup her jaw, tilting her head to finally get her to meet his gaze.

“Didn’t let me down. Even if you did– more than made up for it today with the way you took out those fucking fools.” That coaxed a half-hearted smile from her as she leaned into his touch.

“We did that together.” He nodded lightly, thumb stroking the arc of her cheek and making her breath hitch.

“We did. Make a good team. Right, partner?” Her smile stretched into a grin at his words.

“Right– partner.” When he kissed her, it felt different. This wasn’t their usual lust-driven tangles. It was careful, and dizzyingly sweet, something she hadn’t known Joel was capable of. He pulled away just slightly to rest his forehead against hers as they silently followed the push and pull of each other’s breath. 

“You know I wouldn’t do that, right? Would never leave you.” She sighed, nodding her head slightly against his.

“I know you wouldn’t. But it wouldn’t hurt to be reminded every now and again.” That made him chuckle as he brought his other hand to her hip, squeezing lightly.

“Consider this your first reminder then.” 

The kiss he gave her that time was just as sweet as the first. It was all the reminding she needed.

[ncityprincess]

how jaehyun is in bed

MDNI!!!!!

-ah mr. jeong

-ok i feel like this man is a FREAK

-it’s always the quiet ones

-i just feel like he really loves having sex

-not just for the physical aspect but also for the intimacy of it

-this is the Valentine Boy after all

-he seems like someone who needs to have very passionate sex

-but also

-my guy is extremely physically gifted

-he definitely likes to get rough

-kinda primal?

-would grab and grip you a lot

-ESPECIALLY on your hips/ass/thighs

-tosses you around like a rag doll in whatever position he pleases

-likes to find new ways to make you cum

-kind of competitive with himself if that makes sense?

-seeing you turned on and pleased by him gets him off

-spits on your pussy before eating it

-LOVES slutty filthy nasty moaning 😭

-and whining

-he would want you to be as loud as you want

-i just feel like he gets real nasty idk

-possessive tendencies

-you can’t tell me he doesn’t like positions where he can focus on your ass

-like doggy of course

-but also reverse cowgirl

-i feel like reverse cowgirl would be the secret formula make him bust quick

-loves seeing your ass bounce and jiggle

-likes to make you bounce back on his dick during doggy

-would grab your hair just a little too tight sometimes

-he can get a little too into the moment some nights

-but he would definitely stop if it got too much for you

-because at his core, he wants to make sure you’re feeling okay throughout the whole session

-sees sex as a give and take

-he would want both of you to take the initiative, not just him all of the time and vice versa

-likes knowing that you want him as much as he wants you

-ultimately is just here for a good ole time!

-he would also love taking sexy pics with/of you on his film camera

-lovessssss seeing you in red or black lingerie

-especially stockings/garter belts

-i think he’d also like the idea of fucking in like a really nice hotel with glass windows

-that slight chance of someone seeing you guys like that drives him crazy

-i also think he be sucking toes on the low 🫣

-would definitely have a sexy playlist playing in the back

-i think he’s also really vocal in bed

-calls you sweet names like baby and princess

-loves sloppy kisses

-lots of grunts and groans in that deep voice of his

-he cums reallyyyyyy hard too

-breeding kink, obvi

-cuddling is a MUST after sex

-because at the end of the day

-he’s just a lover boy

k gonna go cry now 🫠

[pjsk-headcanons]

my favorite character is rui if you couldn’t tell so im gonna smash a bunch of things onto him:

He likes kissing people on the cheek (past hc i submitted coming back yippee) however the thought of kissing someone on the lips utterly disgusts him. Germs are yucky like where has your mouth been??? Ew..

People think he acts like a pigeon/owl thing because he stares at people as they walk by. He never blinks until they leave. No his eyes never get dry he somehow learned how to win every staring contest w/o blurring his eyesight

He and vbs are very close. He goes to every live (unless he has a show to do at the time) and gives them twinkies after the live is over, and vice versa

He and mmj are also close. He also gives them twinkies, haruka gives him a pebble sometimes

He never uses lotion because it makes it hard to do his silly inventing stuff but his hands are always super soft

When he sleeps he curls up on his bed like a dog

When he gets on that silly hyperfixation grind he doesn’t eat anything (99.9% sure that’s canon). His stomach starts hurting obvi but if he gets up to grab something his creative juices will stop flowing, so he eats something inedible like paper, or he just drinks water until he doesn’t feel hungry anymore. He’s never been underweight. (At least severely)

He has bpd which was very present in middle school but he’s on meds now 😎

He is very touchy (not in the creepy way, just consensual hugs and cheek kisses) and when he gets really excited he will just. Bear hug the person closest to him. (unless it’s a stranger because that would be very awkward)

His dad is from the Philippines and he grew up speaking both tagalog and japanese

-language anon

.

[frogs00]

Rejanis headcanons!

Janis teaches Regina how to crochet and they will set up times to meet up and crochet together like little gay old ladies

They share a same hate of sports. I feel it deep in my core. Janis finds them to be pointless and Regina l thinks they’re lame. When the friend group meets up to watch sports they’ll just make out in the closet until half time.

Janis low key doesn’t like a lot of pop music and so does Regina. So they bond over that. They both only listen to Gay and indie pop (out of the pop genre).

Regina loves to sit and watch Janis play music so Janis writes her a silly little song and plays it for her one day and Regina cried. Regina George cried.

Janis can flirt, but not with Regina. Regina %100 percent made the first move. They are both very oblivious when it comes to each other.

Janis will make Regina’s favorite food in exchange for rides before their relationship. Because I headcanon Janis can’t drive and Regina can’t cook. Eventually they do these things for free (obvi).

Janis also makes Regina food and will sit with her till she eats. Never pushing though, just patience.

Said this before but Janis is Extremely clingy when it comes to Regina and vice versa.

Janis makes Regina Gay bracelets to aid with that lingering internalized homophobia.

Regina tries so hard to get Janis to sleep more, it works sometimes, especially when there is kisses on the line.

[bitchsister]

i saw a post you made with ariana’s ‘fantasize’ and it reminds me SO much of how you write curt. its how I discovered the song & all I can think about is him. sex worker! curt and lonely rich businessman (or business owner!!) bucky who falls in love with curt and (or) vice versa. maybe bucky just wants someone to spend time with or talk to. doesnt have to be sex ( but would absolutely love if it was . . Obvi )

Oooooh boy oh boy oh boy.

I have so many ideas right now.

Okay. Here we go. 🚀

(If you need a bop refresher)

Also, anon, you’re welcome for the fucking banger from Mrs. SquarePants.

We’ll call this the Pony AU.

You’ll see why in a minute.

Curtis had found his way, against all odds, in a city that could have swallowed him whole if he didn’t find the right people to lean on. He’d chosen his own family, his own destiny, and made his own money the only way he knew how without a diploma or a degree.

Curtis was smart. He knew how to flip tricks just like any other good street boy did — though, after a round or two of some unfavorable clients he stood firmly on his rules.

His clients needed to be handsome, or he simply didn’t want them. They needed to have nice, perfect teeth. No rings on their fingers, (though the best ones always hid them away in their pockets.)

Bonus points came into play for nice aftershave, and if they were still wearing their suits from the office.

John had aced every test, passing with flying colors.

With him, Curtis had won the jackpot.

“Ah, look at you.” Bucky whispered, eyeing Curtis who slipped delicately into a barstool beside him, late as could be, but stunning as ever.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” Curt pushed his hair out of his eyes and sighed, looking disheveled but trying his hardest to hide it. He’d ran blocks just to get there, the bar of the Plaza Hotel where he and Bucky would meet once, sometimes twice a month — depending on his travel schedule. “I had to make it home for dinner, or mother would have lost it — woulda thought the Pony killer got me, or- or somethin’. Shit, who knows. All she does is worry about us-“

“Hey,” Bucky placed a hand over Curt’s wrist, his brows narrowed. “S’alright, honey. I’d wait until the coroner came.” His tone was light, his skin just as glowy and gorgeous as it always was. He’d been drinking, so it seemed, but Curtis always liked a looser Bucky who didn’t check his watch every minute, counting down the hours until a phone call home was due to send the kids off to bed. “What’s the Pony killer?”

Prostitutes of New York.

“Exactly what it sounds like.” Curt turned back to Bucky once he’d greeted the bartender with an ecstatic chirp and his signature nose-scrunching grin.

Hey, Mikey! It’s good to see ya. I’ll have a rye manhattan please. Up. Oh! And can I have extra cherries? Like last time?

Anything for you, Curt.

He turned back again, leaning closer to Bucky. “He’s after the girls, anyway. You don’t gotta worry.” Curt squeezed his knee beneath the bar top and pretended not to notice the flinch it’d caused. “Don’t act like I’ve hit ya, man.” His hands picked at his hangnails in his lap again, feeling small. “Geez.”

“No,” Bucky turned, pressing his knees into the side of Curt’s left thigh. “It isn’t like that. It’s just been awhile since I’ve see you, is all. When you touch me — it’s just — it’s-“

“C’mon, John.” Curt shook his head, lowering his head to sip at his Manhattan without using his hands. “Don’t get all sappy on me again.”

Bucky nodded slowly, denying himself the pity party and forcing his head not to hang. “Just missed you.” He drawled, pressing his knuckle into Curt’s side. “Am I allowed to say that?”

Curtis chuckled, plucking one of his cherries off of the silver cocktail pick with his mouth. “Yeah.” He whispered, “You’re allowed to say that.”

In Bucky’s presidential suite, he knelt in front of Curtis and held him by his midsection, breathing him in, holding him by the back of his thighs, his ass, anything he could grab from his position. “I worried when you were late.” He confessed, his voice muffled into the shirt he shoved his face into.

“Why’s that?”

Curt ran his fingers through Bucky’s buttery, chocolate curls, tugging gently to pull him from his hide, their eyes meeting again instead.

“Thought maybe you got tired of me.”

“John,” Curtis warned, his tone carved with a jagged edge. “What did I tell ya about gettin’ sappy?”

Alcohol was one hell of a thing, and it seemed, just like most of the general population, the consumption of it had caused Bucky to grow more raw and honest.

“I know what you told me.” Bucky breathed, his neck craned when Curt tugged again at his scalp. “But I’m beginnin’ to care less and less what you say about it.” He blinked slowly, staring up at him from where he stayed knelt on the plush white carpet beneath his knees. “I’m a man, Curt. I’m human. I have feelings. Is it a crime to express them?”

“A married man.” Curt barked.

It seemed alcohol had a whole different effect on him.

“I — it’s —“ Bucky whined, feeling pathetic. There was little he could say back to that, because it was the damned truth. However, It wouldn’t stop him from trying. “We met in high school, Curt. We aren’t the same people we were back then. We’re from totally different planets, her and I.” He pulled Curt closer, pressing his chin to his stomach, his eyes staring upward. “She eats breakfast without me. Makes coffee, drinks the whole pot. I’m a burden to her, you know? And I’m lyin’ if I say I don’t feel the same.”

“But you got kids together, Bucky.”

“Exactly.” Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, wanting nothing more than to forget the image of his children lying in bed while their father kneels at the feet of a beautiful, charming, angelic call boy. “And at this point, it’s like playin’ house, you know? We pretend to be normal for ‘em.”

“Until when? Until they’re old enough to see the two of ya can’t stand the sight of one another?” Curt released his grip, touch trickling down further to caress the softness of Bucky’s cheeks and his pillowy lips stained a light shade of red from an entire bottle of Cabernet. “What happens then?”

Bucky turned his head, trying to kiss the pads of Curt’s small, stubby little fingers. “At least then maybe they’ll be old enough to understand, baby.” He reasoned.

“Understand what?”

A silence crept between them, only the sound of the city sirens and beeping cars zipping by muffled in the thick, heavy oxygen they shared.

“That sometimes love just isn’t enough.” Bucky kissed Curt’s sternum against the fabric that separated lips and skin. “But other times, it’s everything.”

Love isn’t for boys like Curt.

And this kind of love, if you asked him, wasn’t for men like Bucky.

Proprietors, the owners of major businesses.

A successful man.

He worked for everything he had, but had felt like nothing but a fraud for most of it. This very thing was the type of scandal that could burn everything he’d ever known to the ground.

Johnathan Egan, sole proprietor of Harmony Pharmaceuticals seen with PONY in Manhattan.

“If anything in my life feels real. Anything. I just want you to know — it’s this.”

Curt wanted to push him away, dart through the door and into the elevators that would spit him back out into the hotel lobby where he’d run into the street until his lungs bled.

But, he didn’t.

He froze instead, holding John by his cheeks, his blue eyes meeting the pair of green ones that stared at him as if he’d created this little universe of theirs.

And in a way, he had done just that.

Curt had taught Bucky so much about a world he never knew existed. Ballrooms, houses, mothers. Chosen family, love that ran deeper than blood or genetics. He learned about fashion, and what Curt would wear and what he wouldn’t be caught dead in.

He’d been exposed to a vast and beautiful night sky, having felt as though for the majority of his thirty years of existence he’d been stuck inside of a black hole — not one star in sight, until he met Curtis.

“What are you saying?” Curt whispered, his thumbs caressing the soft skin beneath the eyes that never dared to look away from him, and wouldn’t, if he had a say in it.

“I think you know, Curtis.”

“No.” He shook his head, though he knew exactly what Bucky was trying to tell him. “I don’t think I do.”

Once more fell the silence until Bucky spoke again, his chin tilted, the heat between them blazing. “I’m saying — all you need to do, Curt… All’s you gotta do is say the word.” His jaw clenched but immediately relaxed again once he continued. “We can have it all. The life we’ve always wanted. The life we both deserve.” He held Curt closer. “Just say the word.”

[waitmyturtles]

What a WEEK IT HAS BEEN. Double Savage savaging, The Eighth Sense ending, The Promise sucking, the Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse trailer dropping -- I’ve been taken on an emotional whirlwind by the drama gods. (Oh, and I’ve finished my Love Sick OGMMTVC analysis, which I’ll drop tomorrow. So THAT’S been bouncing in my head. AND, I started watching Make It Right. So I’ve ALSO been spending time with MORE turnt up teenage boys. GAWD. BRACES.)

ANYWAY. ALL OF THIS CONTEXT TO SAY: when Our Dining Table drops, I drop everything and run to it, because:

1) it’s beautifully done, as ever 2) it has the pace that I’m looking for in a show 3) it has delicious food, obvi, and 4) this week, we began to get very direct insights into Yutaka’s past that help us understand who he is -- and more importantly, helps Minoru to begin understanding who Yutaka is, and 5) we really begin to see Minoru cheese out on Yutaka, which is SO cute and SO great to see visualized, as opposed to the manga, which doesn’t offer quite the same nuances.

Our Dining Table gives me all the comfort. I keep, keep, keepin’ on, keep going back to the familiar blanket of Japanese BL doramas that brought me to this Tumblr space in the first place.

So: to thoughts on Our Dining Table, episode 4, we go. 

We find out Yutaka was adopted, and made to feel incredibly uncomfortable about eating -- AND about joining in a family structure -- by the actions and behavior of his older adopted brother. We see Minoru utterly GIDDY with being able to spend time with Yutaka alone. We see Tane-kun doin’ his damn thing, being SO CUTE, OMG, I WANNA PINCH YOUR CHEEKS, CUTIE -- but also serving, of course, as a metaphor of the family that Yutaka has now been DIRECTLY INVITED to join, by dad Ueda-san himself. AND as a metaphor of the family that Yutaka had been NOT invited to join as a youngster, somewhat close to Tane-kun’s age.

Yutaka had been directly invited to join his adoptive family, also by his adoptive father. But we saw at the dining table of THAT family, how engagement and communication worked. There.... was none. At least, none coming from the parents. None at all. No correction, no discipline, no nothing. You were expected to fall into your role, eat in silence. Very patriarchal, very expected, very common. You exist, without existing, if that makes sense.

I just love comparing that paradigm to how we see the Uedas interacting, jovial and lively at the table, sitting on the floor on cushions, as opposed to stiff dining chairs, with Tane-kun laying down like an uncle after a big curry meal. (Sweet potatoes in curry, radical!) Tons of conversation, interaction, jokes, physical affection. 

I love Yutaka staring into space. I love it. I love him falling into his meditations and Minoru catching him on it. The wheels are NOT quite turning yet for Yutaka -- he’s still dealing with the trauma of his childhood.

But he’s recognizing why he’s drawn to the Uedas. I think he’s beginning to define what that warmth means to him.

That’s why I LOVED THE FLASHBACKS, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Yutaka is doing a comparative analysis of his past and present in those flashbacks. It was SO WARM AND SO CUTE. I LOVED every moment -- seeing what moments Yutaka was drawn to recalling, and how he compared them to his cold childhood. (If the show continues to hew to the manga, we’ll see how Yutaka ended up with his adoptive family, and it’ll all make sense.)

Oh, and I LOVED -- gah, my heart -- I loved how the episode ended with Minoru looking at the picture of his mother, and recognizing that his was not the only family who had gone through something. And we see in next week’s preview, that we get the story of the Uedas. 

This show. Perfectly paced. Perfectly warm. Centered on food. Centered on family. Family warmth and growth. With every episode, we see Tane-kun getting more and more close to Yutaka -- and vice versa, as Yutaka pats Tane-kun’s full belly. It’s just....

It’s just perfect family warmth for me, the thing that I love about doramas so much, so much more than anything else in a show. 

---

I want to quickly say that if you love the food in Our Dining Table, the last food-centered dorama that Japan produced was PHENOMENAL, and directed by Koreeda Hiroyuki, called The Makanai: Cooking For the Maiko House, which is on Netflix. Many of the food shots in Our Dining Table are reminding me of the cinematography of The Makanai -- simple, sumptuous, gorgeous. 

I feel like The Makanai was one of the most important doramas to come out of Japan in recent years, and even though it’s not a BL, I think it’s really worth watching, to see how Kyoto and geisha/maiko culture still exists in the face of modern Japan. I learned a tremendous amount, and the acting was off the charts. Highly recommend if you have the time!

[moonlitxeuphoria]

14, 17, and 18 for Zutara asks please!

Hello there, kind stranger!! Thanks for submitting!

(This was a lengthy response so I apologize in advance)

14. How do you feel about “The Southern Raiders”?

- So many intense feelings, that’s for sure haha. That episode is just one of my favorites from the show overall, and not just because of the obvious showcasing of how good Zuko and Katara work together as a pair (though it does play a major part), or them finally having that moment of reconciliation after what happened in the catacombs, but mainly because of the highlighting of Katara’s internal battle over coming to terms with deep seated grief caused by the traumatic loss of her mother. Obvi, that loss is a big part of her character, considering it’s consistently referenced throughout the show but in ‘The Southern Raiders,’ we finally get to see and hear from Katara first hand about that awful day. The episode gives her the room to rage - to feel her and express those dark, ugly feelings - and delve into just how she’s been baring the pain of being the reason why Kya is no longer with them (them - referring to Sokka/Hakoda/Herself). It’s messy and cathartic and just great writing all around on the very real topic of how consuming grief can be; of how you can end up hurting others, be it purposefully or inadvertently, while navigating through it. With that, there’s also the flip side of being able to eventually find peace with the help of someone who truly understands that pain you’re carrying. That with the right person, that load can be lightened until it doesn’t feel as heavy anymore.

17. How do you think Iroh and Hakoda would react to Zutara?

- Iroh is zutara’s #1 cheerleader aside from Toph and Suki, and that’s just facts. There would be fireworks, music, and endless rounds of tea and food in celebration over the news. That sweet old man would be overjoyed at his nephew/adopted son having found someone who pushes and makes him into a better person and vice versa. Not to mention the endless supply of dad jokes, like come on. DAD JOKES.

- I feel like Hakoda - as easy going as the guy is - would be a little skeptical about zutara at first. Not just from general fatherly concern, but because of the stories Sokka and Katara more than likely filled him in on regarding Zuko during the aftermath of the battle in the crystal catacombs. He eventually comes around though, especially with the added help of getting broken out of prison by his son and the aforementioned ‘Prince of all jerkbenders’ and then later hearing about how the kid put his own life on the line to save his daughter from certain death. Needless to say, Hakoda cashes in on his own set of dad jokes later on at their expense alongside Iroh because seeing Zuko and Katara’s slightly mortified but amused expressions are absolutely worth it.

18. How do you think the Gaang would react to Zutara?

- Toph: this girl would be absolutely unsurprised. She’s the first one to find out and tell them straight up that it “took you guys long enough to figure it out” cuz she’s a walking, talking lie detector and those heartbeats never lie. She clocked them from the get go and takes every opportunity to tease them over it because how is it that the literal blind girl could ‘see’ they clearly liked each other but these two dunces couldn’t. (Deep down they know it’s her way of saying she’s happy for them without sounding too sappy about it).

- Suki: would absolutely be the second one to figure it out and is immediately onboard with it because who doesn’t love a good enemies to friends to lovers storyline. (One of us, one of us) She obviously teams up with Toph in teasing the hell out of them whenever the opportunity arises and the two end up bonding over how equally dense their friends were to the blatantly obvious fact that they’re so into each other. It’s borderline comical, really.

- Side note: In my head, Suki, Toph, and Iroh are the official but unofficial zutara council who get together every so often and gossip about whatever new updates on their favorite couple they may have over tea and cakes. It’s a grand old time for all of them and they all would absolutely lose it when Zuko finally proposes to Katara.

- Sokka: Ah my over dramatic water tribe boy. His reaction is just a thing of beauty, really. He would basically go through the five stages of grief because first off, that’s his little sister and second, that’s his best friend and third, what do you mean they’re together now???!! (I picture it to be like a Ross from ‘Friends’ type of reaction, specifically when he finds out about Monica and Chandler) It’s only made worse when Suki and Toph just say ‘called it’ and continue on like this isn’t the most earth shattering news to ever be released. After he’s processed it though, he’s 100% on board and later joins in on the zutara council meetings with Suki/Toph/Iroh.

- Aang: Oooh, our little flighty boy. This one was a tough one to settle on, let me tell you, buuut I think I figured it out. In my head, I think that Aang would obviously hurt for a little while over the news because Katara is his special person. This girl literally saved his life more than once, has seen him grow up, has supported him through so much, and seeing that person you so deeply love end up with someone else isn’t easy. Never is. He would more than likely keep his distance while he works through his feelings. But then one day, he starts really paying attention to how they interact with each other and Aang feels something in his brain click. Zuko understands Katara, and I mean truly understands her. He thought he understood Katara, that’s why he knew in his heart that he loved her, but seeing the two of them together makes him realize that maybe he doesn’t. His perception of her - her wants and needs - are vastly different from his and that’s probably why nothing ever truly developed between them. Sure there was maybe a spark or two but never anything big enough for a full on flame to burn, ya know. And that realization is what eventually pushes him to be in full, genuine support of their relationship. Because how could he deny her that deep understanding that Zuko is more than capable of providing? (To end on a happy note, he later joins the weekly zutara council meetings and full out cries happy tears when Zuko finally proposes to Katara because oh my god two of his favorite people love each other so much and they’re making it official.) Now keep in mind, this is how I think his reaction would be once he’s had some time to grow and actually understand (and I mean understand) that Katara is her own person and doesn’t belong to him (she’s not an object that someone can simply say is theirs).

This was so long oh my goodness but what a fun set of questions!!! Really got my brain’s gears working overtime to think up of some eloquent-esque answers for each of them 😊💗