#and anyone who still says eric is a bad friend to jackie or “needs to be nicer to her” can gtfo

[tophsazulas]

#both of you go fuck yourselves

[thatseventiesbitch]

Donna’s Decisions In The Relapse: An Analysis

In S4xE6 “The Relapse”, Midge leaves her family and Kitty sends Eric over to the Pinciotti’s in a sport coat with a casserole. Donna promptly jumps his bones and they do it, leading Eric to believe they’re back together while Donna insists to their friends that they’re not.

I’ve always thought that one can’t really blame poor Eric for thinking that having sex meant they were back together, based on what we know about how seriously Donna approaches sex. She and Eric knew each other since they were kids and exchanged ‘I love you’s’, but it still took months of dating before she felt comfortable losing her virginity to him. Her parents’ laissez faire attitude towards casual sex seems to have created the exact opposite instinct in her. So for Donna to say something like,

It was like I would have done it with anybody.

- that really raises some eyebrows. It’s not something we would typically expect from her character.

However, one also has to take into account the circumstances her character was in during season 4. Her mom left the family - she moved across the country without warning, abandoning Donna and leaving her to be raised by her well-intentioned but bumbling dad. Her boyfriend, who she’s in love with and depends on for stability, broke up with her and is being a jerk in the aftermath - kicking her out of the basement, pitting their friends against her, etc. Donna was already in a not-great place before these things happened. She was acting out for her parents attention by failing classes and smoking on school grounds in S2xE9 “Eric gets Suspended”, she was stressed out about her family’s financial stability after Bob lost his job in S3xE8 “Jackie Bags Hyde”, crying about her parents’ unhappy marriage compared to the Formans’ in S3xE16 “Romantic Weekend”, etc. So losing both Midge and Eric now - two pillars of support - could be enough to spiral her into a very bad place, where she’s making some decisions she normally wouldn’t make.

And she was acting impulsively throughout much of season 4, including some presumed sexually risky behavior. Agreeing to go to the Le Motel with Casey. Drinking with him during the day, and cutting school. Maybe sleeping with someone random - anyone - in this moment in S4xE6 “The Relapse” would have been a believable choice she’d make at this point in time, another string in this pattern. Eric just happened to be the one who walked through the door.

But maybe not.

Donna tells both Jackie and Hyde that “it was like she would’ve done it with anyone [when she hooked up with Eric].” 

Again, maybe it’s true and it’s how she honestly felt. Maybe she was being utterly self-destructive in that moment. But maybe she’s trying to save face in front of her friends because she’s embarrassed. She just hooked up with her ex! And she’s not ready to face the reason why - which is because she still has feelings for him (duh).

Case in point? When Eric confronts her about what happened at the end of the episode, Donna doesn’t tell him the same line about how she would have done it with anyone (although he’s of course heard it at this point). What she says is, 

“I’m sorry for needing you, but I did.”

- and I think that’s closer to what really happened. Donna needed him. Not anyone, Eric. Her person. For some comfort sex, for a distraction, to just feel loved and not totally alone in the wake of this huge loss and life change. 

Eric, as mad as he was at the start of the scene, is immediately diffused by these words for what it’s worth. And he also forgives her without a second thought. Which makes me think he gets it.

So I guess that’s my (controversial?) fandom opinion of the day: I remain unconvinced that Donna would have hooked up with ‘anyone’ that day. I think that line was a convenient excuse she gave to her friends, but she and Eric know the truth.

This is really solidified for me a few episodes into season 5. In S5xE9 “Black Dog” when Eric and Donna are arguing about the best way to help someone you love through a tough time, they have the following exchange:

Eric: When your mom left, I gave you space.

Donna: But I didn’t want space. I wanted you with me.

Eric: You didn’t tell me that.

Donna: I couldn’t find you!

It’s a recurring joke/plot in the episode that the men all tend to give their partner space when they’re upset, but that the women want to be showered with love and attention instead. Eric and Donna devolve into bickering about this for the rest of the episode, but it reveals an interesting new detail: Donna wanted Eric with her when her mom left.

This further confirms, to me, that Donna and Eric falling into bed together that day was far from accidental. She knew exactly what she was doing, lol.

It seems like Donna is someone who uses sex to mask emotional pain. She does it here in “The Relapse” when her mom leaves, and again in the beginning of season 6 when she was preparing to go away to college and leave Eric. At that point, Eric seems to become aware of it (“If I get her sad, she gives it away like goldfish at a freaking carnival”). But that’s getting into a different topic. 😊

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

It's ILI! If it isn't hard for you to write it... "Can I buy you a coffee?" Kelso to Brooke!

For context: Eric, Kelso, Fez, and Hyde were sitting in a smokeless circle. It's Kelso's first visit since the New Year over 6 months before, he's holding Betsy in his arms and he looks miserable.

"Can you believe that?!" Kelso said indignantly "Just when I was about to ask her to try again, I see her going out for lunch with this doctor guy! That is so unfair!"

"Kelso, you dumped Brooke to be with my sister" Hyde said, annoyed "I don't think you get a saying on her dating life anymore"

"But... I love her, and I really want to be with her" Kelso replied "I never felt this way about a chick before, man. Not with Angie, not with Laurie, not even with Jackie. It's like... she makes me forget about all the awful things in the world, and I want to be around her all the time"

"Yep, he's in love alright" Eric said

"Yeah, you’re screwed” Hyde said

“Do you think I should fight for her?” Kelso asked, his hands absentmindedly stroking Betsy’s hair 

"Kelso, I love you, but if I hear you talking about Brooke again, I am going to leave" Fez said seriously

"Well, I'm sorry Fez, but you never had your heart broken before, so I'm gonna keep on talking!"

Fez glared at him "I see. So you think Fez never had his heart broken before? Well, Fez was dumped by Jackie after dating her for two, glorious days. Then Fez saw Nina at the salon, and she was getting ready for her wedding day. And then, Fez saw Rhonda at the Hub, looking glorious. Fez asked her out, and she said no. Fez’s heart was broken so many times, that it’s barely a heart anymore! It’s just dust in between Fez’s lungs!”

Eric, Hyde, and Kelso stared at him like he went nuts.

"Fez, man, if you want to make people feel bad for you, then you have to quit with this third person crap" Hyde said after a few minutes of silence "It makes me wanna punch you in the face"

“You...” Fez said, glaring at Hyde “This is all your fault! I’m leaving, good day!”

“But Fez...” Kelso said, wondering what caused his outburst. But before he could ask, Fez walked out of the basement, slamming the door on his way out.

“What the hell was that? He didn’t even say ‘I said good day’ like he normally does. He only does that when he’s extra pissed”

“Fez thinks Jackie broke up with him because of Hyde” Eric said

“Which makes no sense, because Jackie made pretty fucking clear that we’re ‘just friends’ now” Hyde muttered dejectedly

“Wait, since when are you and Jackie friends?” Kelso asked, looking confused “When I left, she hated your guts!”

“Hyde apologized to her for being the world’s biggest jackass and asked her for another chance,” Eric explained “She said no, because y’know, Jackie’s smart, and...”

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Hyde hissed at him, punching his arm

“Dude, you married a stripper!” Eric said, rubbing his now sore arm

“And I’m paying for it, Forman! I already apologize to Jackie every damn day, I’m not going to apologize to you too!”

“Wait, you and Jackie are actually friends?” Kelso asked curiously, and Hyde nodded "Aw man, I feel so left out! I haven’t seen you guys for like, 6 months! Did I miss a lot? What else happened when I was gone?"

“Well...” Eric started, clearing his throat “Jackie rejected Hyde’s multiple attempts to get her back and she’s now making him pay for all the crappy things he did by letting him be around her, without actually being with her; Donna and I are currently trying to learn how to do our own laundry so we won’t have to come here every weekend; a new candy shop opened right next to the salon, but Fez got kicked out of there after hitting on the owner’s wife; my mom’s trying to force my dad to go jogging with her, and Jackie got a few modeling gigs so she’s been unbearable to be around”

“That’s it?” Kelso asked, looking at both os his friends, who nodded at him “I haven’t seen you guys in six months, and that’s all you got?! Wow, I really am the glue that holds this group together”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Kelso” Hyde said, rolling his eyes

“Well...” Kelso started, but Eric interrupted him

"Good talk guys, now I'll go see if Donna's up for some nookie time" Eric said with a small smile

"But we... We're in a circle!" Kelso argued

"Kelso, it's not a real circle if we can't... you know. Use the thing that makes the circle fun!"

“Nuh-uh! We’re still sitting on a circle, and you haven’t told me what to do about my whole thing with Brooke!”

“Yeah...” Eric said, standing up and moving to grab his coat on top of the record player “Good luck with that, pal”

Kelso stared increduosly at the door Eric just slammed closed. How dare him abandon his oldest friend during one of the hardest times of his life for sex?!

"You know what? You're a good friend, Hyde" Kelso said "Thanks for not abandoning me while I'm going through a crisis, now...”

"Actually..." Hyde said, tapping his thighs as he stood up from his chair "I'm off to meet Jackie. See ya, Kelso. Betsy"

Hyde ruffled the toddler’s hair before walking towards the basement door, and Betsy giggled, clapping her little hands.

“Ackie!” She said, and Hyde smiled at her.

"Wait, you're meeting with Jackie?!" Kelso asked "But you said she just wanted to be your friend!"

"I don’t know man, I think she’s opening up to me," Hyde said, grinning from ear to ear, "I’m just waiting for the right moment to ask her out again, and something tells me that’s going to be soon”

“But Hyde...” Kelso said, but Hyde left before he could finish his sentence.

Kelso sighed and looked at the toddler sitting on his lap, she was laughing, and he had a feeling that maybe, she was laughing at his misfortune.

“Dada, burn!” Betsy said

Yup, she was definitely laughing at him.

**

Kelso adjusted the baby carrier on his chest, trying to make sure Betsy wouldn’t fall off. When he was sure his girl was safe, he walked up the stairs of Point Place’s library.

Brooke asked him to drive both her and Betsy to Point Place earlier today, claiming she wanted to meet with a few of her old girlfriends, and Kelso said yes right away. He’s been dying to spend more time with her, and the commute from Chicago to Point Place was three hours long.

She said that after she finished brunch with her friends, she’d be at the library, and that’s where Kelso hoped she was right now.

After a long talk with Mrs. Forman (since his friends couldn’t care less about his problem), he decided he’s just going to confess his feelings to Brooke. At this point, he didn’t care if she was dating this doctor guy, he just needs her to know because he feels like he’s going to burst every time he’s near her.

He found her sitting in the more isolated corner of the library, reading a thick book.

He took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, Betsy announced their presence.

“Mama!” The toddler said, squirming as she tried to escape the baby carrier.

Brooke immediately looked up and smiled, making Kelso weak on his knees, She has a beautiful smile.

“Hey baby!” She said, putting her book down and unclasping the baby carrier, taking the toddler in her arms and kissing the top of her head “How was your day with your dad?”

“Dada sad” Betsy said, and Kelso’s eyes widened in shock.

“Why’s your dad sad, Betsy?”

“He wuvs mama” The toddler answered as she played with the collar of her mother’s coat. Brooke’s eyes immediately met with his, and he felt like he was about to have a heart attack.

“What?” Brooke said

“Dada wuvs mama” Betsy repeated, and Kelso licked his extremely dry lips, trying to think of something to say.

“Michael, what is she talking about?” Brooke asked, and Kelso sighed. This is not how he was planning on telling her.

“Uhh... Nothing?”

“Michael...”

“Fine! She may have overheard my conversation with the guys, where I told them... I told them I loved you and I that was sad because you’re dating that doctor”

Brooke’s mouth hang open in shock “What?!”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Kelso said “No, actually, I’m not sorry, Brooke. It’s how I feel and you should know”

Brooke took a deep breath “What makes you think I’m dating Christopher, Michael?”

“I saw you two talking, and hanging out, and...”

“He’s my friend, and he’s gay, you moron!” Brooke said “In fact, he has a crush on Fez since he came to visit the last time”

“He has a crush on Fez?” Kelso laughed “Oh, burn!”

“Michael!”

“Okay, okay, sorry!” Kelso said “I really thought you two were going out, I mean, you went out for lunch, and...”

“Two friends can have lunch together” Brooke argued, sending a pointed look at Kelso, and dammit, she looks pissed. Kelso just hoped she was pissed about him making assumptions, not about him loving her.

"So, since you’re not actually seeing anyone... Can I buy you a coffee?" Kelso asked, smiling softly at her. She kept glaring at him for a few seconds, before smiling back.

“Well...” Brooke said, bouncing the toddler in her arms “I just had brunch with the girls, so... Maybe some ice cream?”

Kelso’s smile widened.

“Awesome!” He yelled enthusiascally, and some people shushed him in response. 

Brooke laughed and took his hand “Let’s go”

[crimsinsky]

Sooo I might be obsessed with Jackie and Hyde dating without the Kelso intro... I wish you would write a story where Hyde and Jackie date without her having dated Kelso first. I would love to see Hyde introducing her as his girlfriend bonus if he introduces her to red and kitty!

I'm sorry it took me so long to finish and that it's so long, I got carried away.

Slight trigger warning- nothing happens but attempted non con by background character.

********************************************

The school was deserted for the most part and Hyde was over it. But Forman had to get stuck staying late to work on a project today of all days.

There was nothing remarkable about today, Hyde was just in a bad mood and if he could blame someone else then he’d take the chance.

He was down to counting the minutes that Forman said he’d be done but it was too late, he needed a smoke. He wasn’t stupid enough to do that out in the open at school, you never knew who would narc on you, but he had a pack of cigarettes in his pocket and a craving he needed to tackle.

He was heading off behind the bleachers, Forman would know to look for him there, it was where he always smoked when he got stuck waiting on him.

He heard a commotion, just what he needed his usual spot taken by some horny losers who couldn’t get a room.

“Stop it,” the girl said firmly.

“Come on baby.”

“I am not your baby and I said no.”

Never one to stay out of a fight, Hyde rushed forward.

“Get your hands off of me,” the girl shrieked.

“Hey,” Hyde pulled the boy off the girl and punched him in the face.

He went down hard.

“I think she said no,” Hyde loomed over him. He’d never even seen this kid before, but his blood was on Hyde’s knuckled and streaming down his face.

“Man whatever, she’s just a fucking tease.”

The girl came over and kicked him in the stomach, making him double over on the ground and wheeze.

“You’re a disgusting pig,” she said and started to walk away.

He wheezed, “You can forget about me driving you home.”

“You think,” she shouted before turning back and kicking him in the shins for good measure.

Hyde kept a reasonable distance but didn’t want to leave her out there all alone.

Nearing the parking lot she stopped walking and turned toward her savior.

Hyde got closer.

“Thank you uh… I don’t know your name,” she said shyly.

“Hyde.”

She snorted, “That’s not your name. No one would name their kid Hyde.”

He knew he should have been more annoyed but her change in attitude caught his attention. Though he was still a little annoyed, “It’s my last name.”

“Then what’s your real name?”

“Are you always this big a pain in the ass?”

“Usually yes, so what is your name?” She asked again.

He could have just walked away after she got to safety, but here he was playing 20 questions with this irritating cheerleader. “Steven,” he growled, “but my name is Hyde.”

“Was that so difficult?” Now she looked almost timid, “Thank you, Steven Hyde.”

There was something in the way she said it, the way she looked at him, the way she looked so small. She’d gone from kicking ass to joking, and now she looked not exactly scared of him, but definitely unsure. All his irritation with her melted.

He softened his voice, “Are you okay?” He looked her over, she didn’t seem like she got hurt but you never knew.

She nodded, “I’m fine, he yanked me behind the bleachers and everyone else was gone. I’m really lucky you were here.”

“Well, I don’t think he’ll try it again with you,” He tried distracting her with humor, “did you break a rib or something?”

“No, that’s too far to the side, I might have got his gallbladder though.” She said brightly as if she were simply stating that today was sunny out.

“Hyde,” Eric shouted from the parking lot.

“Hold on a second,” he told her.

He must be a complete God Damned idiot for what he was about to do. Well, Red did always say he was a dumbass.

“Took you long enough,” Hyde growled.

“Sorry mom, my partner nearly burned down the chem lab, it was stay late or fail the semester.”

“Whatever Forman, look can you drop her off at home?” Hyde gestured towards the girl watching him curiously. He’d told her to hold on so she would. Either way, she was curious about him.

Eric raised an eyebrow, “What have you been up to while I was in class?

“Fighting actually.”

“Yeah, that makes the most sense, but sure I can drop her off.”

Hyde ran back to her, “You want a ride home?”

“You’re seriously offering to take me home?”

“Well, you’re ride seems to have left for some reason.

“That would be great actually,” she said relieved. She hated walking home after practice. After school, she didn’t mind, but now it was a little late to be walking alone and with what just happened she didn’t want to be alone.

She followed him to the parking lot.

“So Hyde who’s your friend?” Eric asked. It was so rare that they ever saw Hyde talk to a girl let alone offer her a ride home Eric was not about to squander this opportunity.

“Uh,” he realized in their fighting over his name he never asked her for hers.

“I was wondering if you had any manners,” she said coyly to Hyde. “I’m Jackie Burkhart.”

“I’m Eric,”

Jackie turned to Hyde, “See how easy that was Steven.”

Eric’s face nearly split in two, “Steven, have you been rude?”

“You want me to hit you because I will.”

Eric smirked at him, a silent promise that he would bring it up again.

They got in and Styx started blaring from the radio.

“Styx really?” Hyde groaned at Forman.

“I’m driving, it’s my car, I pick whatever music I want,”

“Maybe Jackie doesn’t like Styx.” He was hoping that having ears that worked she would agree with him.

“They’re not bad,” Jackie said. “But I like ABBA more, they’re my favorite.”

Hyde rolled his eyes. “You cannot be serious?”

“I am, they’re amazing.”

Eric had a perfectly awful idea, this cheerleader seemed to be annoying Hyde and he was taking it probably because she was a girl. But his torture could go a little farther.

“Hey Jackie, some of our friends are hanging out at my house if you want to hang out for a while?”

“Really, who’s there?”

“There’s that foreign exchange kid Fez, Kelso, and my girlfriend Donna. We’re probably just going to watch TV but someone is bound to do something stupid.”

“Alright, it sounds fun,”

Hyde shot him a look that meant he’d kill him. Well, he hadn’t done it yet, so Eric didn’t worry about it.

When they walked into the basement they saw two boys trying to duct tape fireworks to a suit, and a redheaded girl with her head in her hands.

“Is everything okay?” Hyde asked Donna.

“I hid the matches but they’re still stupid,” Donna said without looking up.

“Hey, everyone this is Jackie,” Eric announced.

At that, Donna looked up.

“Oh thank God, another girl.” Donna was desperate for anyone who was not one of her stupid friends to talk to. “Please save me from this idiotic amount of testosterone.”

Jackie made a beeline for Donna and plopped down next to her, “You must be Donna, Eric talked about you on the way over.”

Kelso finally looked up from his firework suit.

“Oh my god she’s hot.” He jumped over to the couch. “Since you’re a cheerleader we should totally go out,” Kelso said.

Donna sighed, “I told you, stupid.”

“Why?” Jackie looked up at him blankly.

“Cuz you’re like super hot.”

“I know that, but why does that mean I should go out with you?”

“Burn,” Fez looked to Eric hopefully, “did I do that right?”

“You’re getting the hang of it buddy.”

The girls chatted and tried to ignore Kelso and Fez.

“We were talking about going to the disco in Kenosha, that seems like it would be up your alley.”

“Absolutely, when are you going? I will totally go.”

“Donna, really, disco?” Hyde asked, he hated disco.

“Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean we all can’t be seen in the only club within three hours for a night,” she shot back.

“But who are you going with? Like you shouldn’t go alone,” Kelso said trying to push himself into their conversation hoping to get an in with Jackie.

“Hmm, I’ll go with,” Jackie’s eyes roamed the three single boys landing briefly on each of them, and lingering a little longer on Hyde.

“Donna. She did invite me after all.”

“You can’t go with Donna, you have to go with a guy?”

Hyde smirked at Kelso not getting his way.

“Who said I do? And I don’t really know any of you, so Donna will you go with me and these boys can do whatever?”

“You know what sure, except Eric definitely has to go with us because of the car.”

“Because of the car? Really, is all I am to you a set of wheels.”

“No, just when we want to leave town.” Donna turned back to Jackie, “We’re going on Saturday,”

“Perfect. Do you have a dress we could go shopping before then?”

“That would be great.”

They hung out for a while until Jackie finally called her dad to pick her up before her curfew. “I have to get going, but this was fun,” she stood and headed for the door, “It was nice meeting everyone.”

Once she was gone it was like the volume dropped three decibels.

“So, looks like Donna has a new friend too.”

“Jackie’s cool, energetic like crazy but she’s cool. Though she did call me a lumberjack because of the flannel shirt.”

“How did you meet her?”

“Oh, I didn’t,” Eric grinned idiotically, “Our boy Hyde here met her while I was stuck in the Science Lab. Now how did that happen?”

“Get bent,” Hyde replied.

“Manners like that, no wonder she agreed to hang out here. She was totally swept away,” Eric kept egging him on.

“Some guy was hassling her and she was alone alright,” Hyde crossed his arms and went back to watching TV.

“So you swoop in and try to get some with heroic gratitude nice,” Kelso said.

“Hey, Kelso come here,” Hyde waved him over.

Kelso stood beside him and Hyde nailed him in the side.

“Sorry, ow,” he pouted.

“Say something like that in front of Jackie and she might do worse, she did to the guy that was bothering her.” Hyde suppressed a smile.

He didn’t smile, but still, the memory of her as little as she was, kicking the crap out of that guy, it made him kind of fond of her.

Hyde humiliated himself over and over, he didn’t know why he did it. He also didn’t know why he was going to this stupid club, other than watching Kelso get rejected that never got old.

But Red saw right through him and Kitty spent the next few days teaching him to dance. He wasn’t great but he could manage.

Plus he’d seen Kelso dance before. Hyde was practically Fred Astaire in comparison.

Hyde was waiting outside for everyone since Donna wanted to see Eric’s reaction to her in girly clothes.

He looked up when he heard a car door shut.

She was stunning. Gone was the cute little girl he’d found behind the bleachers, she looked radiant with her hair curled but loose ringlets framing her delicate face.

“Wow, you look beautiful,”

Her smile turned almost shy at the praise. “Thank you, you clean up pretty good yourself.”

“Yeah, well.”

Before he could say anything else Forman and Donna came outside and they were followed by Tweedle Dee and Dumb.

“What no flowers?” Jackie asked Donna.

“You asked me remember?”

“Hmm, I guess you’re right.”

“Hey, stop trying to steal my girlfriend,” Eric joked realizing he too didn���t have flowers for Donna.

“Don’t be so hasty Eric,” Kelso said. “Just see where the night takes it.”

Everyone except Fez hit or kicked him at once.

“Alright everyone in before my mom tries to get pictures.”

“I’m not sitting next to Michael,” Jackie declared.

“You take window, I’ll sit beside you, that work?” Hyde asked.

“Yes,” she agreed easily.

“Great let’s get in the car and go.” He desperately wanted to get going before Mrs. Forman found them all.

Kelso asked her to dance, which Jackie refused, she’d watched him dance alone on the floor, she wasn’t sure if he was going to hurt someone and she didn’t want to be liable.

Fez asked her next when she refused he and Donna went to the dance floor.

He was a great dancer, she admitted.

The truth was she didn’t want to dance with them, she was interested in someone else.

“Why aren’t you dancing,” Hyde asked her,

“I didn’t want to dance with Kelso or Fez.”

“But you want to dance?”

“Yes,” she said honestly. She had that timid look from a few days before and he couldn’t help himself.

He had after all spent days learning these stupid dances. Might as well use it.

“Come on,” He held out his hand and she took it immediately.

They danced closer than Fez and Donna did.

Jackie felt the rush of being so close to him electrify her skin.

“You’re a really good dancer,” Jackie told him.

“Thanks, so are you. So why weren’t you dancing before?” He wanted to hear it from her, she’d nearly ignored Fez and Kelso but put up zero fight to dancing with him.

“The right person didn’t ask me.”

“And I’m the right person?”

She smiled up at him, and his breath caught. “

You just might be, Steven Hyde.”

She annoyed him, but she intrigued him more. She was bossy and bratty, but she’d won over Donna and maybe even Forman. There was just something about her he couldn’t help wanting to discover.

“You want to go out sometime?”

“Like on a date?”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, on a date.”

“I would love that, Steven.” Jackie stood on her toes and kissed his cheek gently.

For some reason, he didn’t mind her calling him Steven. It was weird that he didn’t, but something told him he’d have to get used to that.

A few weeks later

“Red, Mrs. Forman, can I talk to you for a minute?

“No,” Red growled leaning over the engine of the car.

“Sure, Honey what is it?”

“I just wanted you to meet someone,” He waved her over from inside the house, “this is my girlfriend Jackie.”

They’d hung out in the basement a few times but they tended to go off by themselves to get to know each other without the hassle of the others.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jackie said nervously. She knew how important the Forman’s were to Steven.

“Steven,” Kitty jokingly scolded, “you didn’t tell us you had such a cute girlfriend.”

“Don’t tell her that, she’ll get a big head.”

“Steven, I already know I’m cute. And thank you, Mrs. Forman.”

“See,” Hyde reiterated.

“Yeah, well I need to fix this cute carburetor,” Red went back over to the cruiser.

“Do you need some help?” Jackie offered.

“I think I need to go get my camera,” Kitty said rushing off into the kitchen.

[inkribbon796]

What a Beautiful Wedding Ch. 1: A Sense of Poise and Rationality

Summary: “What a beautiful wedding” says a bridesmaid to a waiter. “And, yes, but what a shame. What a shame . . . 

Nothing bad happens here, I promise.

A/N: The music swells, the curtain lifts. Ladies, gentlemen, and all configurations of being: the show has begun . . .

Titles here are from Panic! at the Disco’s “I Write Sins not Tragedies”.

Okay, so this one’s been a bear to write so this might be uploaded a couple chapters today and the rest over the next day or two.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Eric looked at himself in the mirror as Roman set the final touches on his hair. His dark hair had small braids with tiny beads designed to catch the sunlight. His suit was an off-white color and his wrists were decorated with intricate bangles that kept his nerves from activating his powers and setting things on fire.

Despite the suits and dresses and other formal attire all the heroes were still in their masks. Secrecy was still important and they knew the press would be nearby. The only exception would be Eric, who got glasses enchanted, courtesy of the Host, to protect his identity from anyone who shouldn’t know it.

“And voila!” Roman announced and did a little excited jump, spinning the chair marginally and holding up a mirror so that Eric could see the back of his head.

“Awww, you look so cute,” Patton told him.

“R-eally?” Eric ducked his head nervously.

“Positively radiant, my dear,” Roman boasted, his red dress swishing as he twirled. “Not an eye will be able to look away from you.”

Eric’s eyes widened fearfully.

“Nice going Princey,” Virgil spoke up from across the room.

“They’ll look in a good way,” Roman promised. “They’ll see you and realize that you are the most beautiful man in the world.”

“B-ut that’s Illy,” Eric managed to force out.

Roman paused to think on that, “Well I won’t deny that he’s obnoxiously good looking but now you can give him a run for his money.”

Randall walked in, “How we lookin’[1]?”

Twisting around the chair, Roman grinned as he motioned to Eric. “Marvel at this masterpiece. I dare say Da Vinci nor Monet could have done better.”

“Very handsome,” Randall told Eric, both childhood friends smiling at each other. “Just came from checkin’ on the other groom. We’re just waiting fer a final sweep ‘a the area to make sure it’s alright.”[2]

“Alright,” Eric said.

On the other side of the building, Illinois was fiddling with his bow tie as he checked his hair and suit in the mirror.

“How’s it looking?” Illinois asked, his eyes moving to look at his adopted brother in the mirror.

“Nothing is amiss,” the Host told him.

“Marv still isn’t back,” Chase reminded. “I don’t like it. I haven’t heard a peep from him.”

“The Host spoke with Marvin, he is on his way back to the city with the Blade and the Angel of Death,” the Host took a seat. “While they will be late for the ceremony, Illinois and the attendants will find that they will arrive just in time.”

“Okay,” Illinois took a deep breath. He didn’t touch his lucky coin, he wanted today to be a good day. A perfect day.

He’d been trying to play his safe for months to hoard as much magic as possible. No adventures. No fights. Not even a card game with his siblings.

Because Eric deserved nice things. He deserved to be happy and safe.

After a while Dark checked his pocket watch, and Illinois walked out with him and the Host. The blind seer headed on ahead to wait with the other groomsmen.

Dark waited at one end of a long rug that led to a big outdoor gazebo with a dark wood roof. Chairs led up to the gazebo and had wooden structures protecting it from any accidental rain or glare from the sun. A matching rug was one that Randall would lead Eric down. The two grooms would meet in the middle and then walk up to the altar where Jackie, who had taken the online classes needed to officiate marriages.

The Entity paused, waiting for the signal from the organ that Dark could start walking. But he looked over at Illinois. The young man was looking around, his hand reaching into his pocket and resisted trying to pull out his lucky coin.

In the demon’s mind he thought of little Illinois, barely at chest level, with wide eyes that hungered for adventure but a body too small to take him there.

Dark had never liked thinking about how big Illinois had gotten. It reminded him that Illinois would walk out of his life and become his own person. It’s just . . . it had all been so wonderful while it lasted.

Illinois looked over at Dark and smiled. “Hey, 아빠[3].”

“Illinois,” Dark answered, trying to keep Damien quiet and invisible. Dark had to keep his hands to himself and his feelings out of the way. This was all for Illinois. He took a second to take a deep breath and schooled his features. “I’ll have your portion of the city ready for when you get back.”

“What?” Illinois asked, mostly in confusion.

But then the music began and Dark was offering his elbow. Illinois took it and promised himself that when he could pull Dark away again they’d talk. He didn’t like the tone Dark had taken when he’d said that.

Illinois and Dark stepped in time to the music and all too soon he saw Eric, his hands gripping onto Randall’s arm. He almost tripped when his eyes met Illinois’s.

Then all too soon, they were within arms reach. Illinois reached out to take Eric’s arm and they walked up. To Illinois, Eric looked like an angel he’d somehow snagged out of the sky and convinced to stay with him.

They walked down the aisle and Illinois kept the pace slow so that Eric wouldn’t have a single problem walking down the aisle. Dark and Randall followed them up.

Everything was going perfectly.

Illinois and Eric were looking at each other and Jackie opened his mouth to start the ceremony, when someone else walked down the aisle.

“I’m here!” Someone in a red tux announced. A smile as sharp as glass. “Shame on you, Damien, I almost missed the whole thing.”

Everyone immediately looked at the Actor, Dark got in front of Illinois as the young man was trying to push Eric towards Jackie.

“Get out,” Dark snarled in a furious growl.

“You’d done your job, step aside,” Actor snapped out a dark mass of aura and batted Dark to the side, the Entity slamming into the organ and let out a pained cough.

“아빠!”[3] Illinois called out. Yancy, who was closer, immediately raced to Dark’s side but the Entity shoved him away from both him and the Actor.

“I will admit,” Marc smiled as he waltzed down the aisle, “I didn’t recognize you at first. That’s my bad. But I did try and talk to you, and it’s quite an oversight not to personally invite me.”

Dark pushed himself back up to a kneeling position, his ringing shrill and aura coiling around.

“I didn’t invite you because you’re a piece of shit and you just attacked my dad, so fuck off,” Illinois snarled. He started trying to move over to Dark but the Actor slid into his path.

“Not possible,” Actor smiled, gesturing to himself. “Daddy’s here now and we don’t need . . .”

Actor glared back at Dark, “. . . to be worried about extraneous characters.”

“Get the hell out of here, I don’t want you anywhere near my family,” Illinois snarled.

“Oh, junior,” Marc smiled. “I’m trying to help you. Think of it: father and son. We’d take the world by storm.”

Illinois felt fury, thinking off all the foster homes and awful situations he’d been in, “Even if you were, you can fuck right the fuck off!”

Behind the Actor, Ranboo was trying to inch closer to Dark. He’d been sitting with the rest of the heroes. But he was trying to quietly summon up a portal to get Dark away from the Actor but when he inched too close the Actor spun around and slammed his aura into the young teen, knocking him back.

“If I wanted to take on the peanut gallery, I would have called you up,” Actor snapped.

“Enderwalk!” Virgil called out and raced over to him as the teen slammed against the wall of the gazebo and let out a grunt of pain. Immediately the room seemed to snap out of whatever haze they were in and moved as Marc moved to attack Ranboo again. Tubbo was already the closest.

Ranboo braced for the attack to hit but in the nick of time, there was a shattering of glass and Techno emerged from one of the eye portals. Shield and axe in hand he deflected the shot and blew a hole in the roof of the gazebo.

“I’m gonna have to stop you right there,” Techno smiled. “Come on, kid, I saw you using a weapon before, come on.”

“Boo,” Tubbo moved in as Phil and Marvin raced in.

“Anyone dead yet?” Marvin demanded.

“Bout time yeh showed up,”[4] Chase spat, pulled out his gun, a real one and aimed it at the Actor’s head.

Snarling in anger, the Actor exploded into black mist, making Chase miss his shot and nicked Illinois right in the face by accident.

Actor grabbed Dark and stabbed him with a dragged he pulled out of his black mist. “I don’t like being teased, Dames.”

With a slice, Dark screamed and the Actor pulled out a black day planner. “If you want something done right you should just do it yourself.”

Magic began to swirl around the Actor as bubbles began to form. They swelled in size and began to fill the room.

Bing began to visibly freak out and used his nanites to push Mini and Oliver away with his nanites, throwing them outside the gazebo just as a bubble expanded to snap up the rest of the androids.

In an instant the city rumbled and Dark . . .

. . . . . .

Dark woke up in bed.

He glared at the faintly glowing clock on the distant wall. It was barely a half-hour before he had to get up so there was no point in going back to sleep.

He smiled faintly when he heard Wilford snoring, the man splayed out to Dark’s left. The softer snores were from Chase who was cuddled up into Dark’s chest.

With a smile softening his features Dark decided: maybe he could sleep in a few more minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post A/N: . . . Okay I lied big time.

Accessibility Translations:

1. looking

2. Just came from checking on the other groom. We’re just waiting for a final sweep of the area to make sure it’s alright

3. Dad. Informal, read phonetically as: Appa.

4. About time you showed up

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

Hey, can I get a Steven Hyde x Reader who’s not used to affection please? Thank ya

Cause wow - Steven Hyde X reader

a\n: not tooooo sure this is what you wanted but there it is.

trigger warnings: weed mentioning

I was sitting in Eric’s basement with my friends. Well, i don’t know if i can call them my friends, since i’ve known them for such a short time. About a month ago I met Steven Hyde, and we clicked pretty quickly, and soon enough I was sort of a part of the gang. 

I reached my hand to the last Lay’s, hoping to successfully steal it. I hated how it got to this point, but my parents went away for work for the second time this month. Last time they were away for a whole week, and considering the fact we’re barely into the second week of the month, it says a lot - they don’t like me. They left some cash hidden around the house but it was for the house - water, electricity and barely enough for that. I mostly ate leftovers, improvised sandwiches and Petso Burger - i work there so i got a meal whenever i had a shift.

Another hand reached for the same bag of Lay’s, but I caught it first. “Hey, i was going to rightfully steal that!” the guy said. I looked at him. He had his shades on, even tho we were inside and his hair was curly. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Well, i was also going to rightfully steal it” i replied, half whispering, “so if you don’t mind…”. I started to walk away, but he was quick to follow. He grabbed my hand to slow me down and catched up quickly. “You don’t look like the type, aren’t you that goodie-two-shoes from History class?” he said, walking by me and looking around to find a snack. “Well, I don’t remember ever seeing you in history class” I said, putting the bag of chips in my bag. I still had some things I wanted to “get”. “Oh, it’s cause i never actually go. I’d walk up to the door from time to time, and then I’m like “neh” and go smoke in the Janitor’s room” He said. I didn’t have anything to say about it, so we kept 

walking in silence for a few moments. “You usually sit pretty close to the door, so i remember your face. You always read some book and everything is laid on the desk perfectly” he said, and I nodded. “Sounds like me” I said, grabbing a Milk carton. “So what brings you to, you know, commit a small crime?” he asked directly, grabbing chocolate pudding with a spoon stuck to it. He opened it right there in the middle of the store and started eating it. “I- uh, my parents are away and they didn’t leave money” i said, trying to make it far less bad, but he seemed to understand the real situation. For some reason, I feel like I can trust him with this, I mean, I can tell on him if he ever tries to use any of this against me. “Hand me everything you need, i’ll get it for you” he said. “I- what? Why would you do this? Do you just want the chips?” i asked, raising my eyebrow at him. He smiled. His smile was sweet and sincere. “No, but if you want to share it…” he said, “but it’s just that, uh, my dad left my mom and my mom left me, so i feel for you. But don’t tell anyone” he explained his act of kindness. “I have a job, i’ll return the money once i’ll have it” i promised as i handed him milk, bread, cereal, frozen hot dogs and of course the chips. “It’s okay man, my job pays real good” he said, “and come over to the Forman’s, i bet you need a proper meal and Kitty loves guests, hell, they let me live there” he laughed, grabbing a basket and putting all of my grouscaries in there. “I’m (y\n) (y\l\n)” I said, reaching my hand to shake his. “Steven Hyde” 

“Hey, (y\n), pass me the chips” Donna said, stretching her hand as far as she could to grab the Lay’s from my hands. I gave it to her. I sat next to Steven on the couch, Kelso next to me and Jackie in his lap. Fez sat on the chair next to Kelso and Donna across from him. Eric sat on the freezer, half upset (“it’s my house, why am i getting the worst seat?”), but he’ll get over it. Steven’s hand rested on the couch behind me, which was weird. We sat like that a lot, but it still made me feel weird. He was always nice to me, in his own sarcastic way. I like how he is around me, and according to his friends he is different when i’m not beside him.

“You make him better, so seriously, thank you” Donna said once. “Yeah, today i said your hot, and normally he would punch my face for talking about his girl like she’s a piece of meat but today, he punched my shoulder” Kelso contributed. “I’m not his girl” I said, grabbing a popsicle from the freezer. “Aren’t you two dating?” Donna asked, confused. “Well, in that case, hello there, (y\n)” Kelso said, running his hand through his hair. I laughed, “Kelso, the fact i’m not taken doesn’t change the fact you are” i said. “Doesn’t matter, i’m about to break up with Jackie anyways. “You said that last week” Donna said, as I sat down on the couch next to Kelso. He stretched and rested his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t” I glared at him and he moved his hand as I moved to the other edge of the couch.

“So, are you going to the dance? I could use a girl to shop for a dress with” Jackie said. “I thought we were going together, I’m a girl” Donna said, seemingly upset. She would never admit it, but Jackie is her best friend. “Yeah, but donna, you dress like a guy. No offence” Jackie said, and turned her face back to me, “so?”. “I’m not going, it’s not really my scene, you know?” i said. “No i don’t. Dances are everybody’s scene,  Even Steven is coming. You two can come together!” JAckie replied, resting her hands on my shoulders and shaking me excitedly. “I- yeah, whatever man, if you’re going i don’t mind being your date” Steven sighed. A shocked silence fell over the room.

A week later you had a dress for the Dance (sponsored by Jackie, who was quick to help once you explained you can’t really afford the dress she thought was perfect for you), and a date. You never thought this is going to happen to you. Steven always made you feel like maybe you are not alone, and maybe you are liked, and the gang was amazing. You sat in Donna’s living room with the girls, and you were waiting for the boys to arrive. A knock on the door. Donna went to open it and let the guys in.

“Wow” Steven muttered once he laid his eyes on me. I was wearing a (f\c) dress that was tight in the chest area and flared from the waist down. The high neckline kinda chocked me, but luckily enough it belonged to the chiffon “coat” so i could take it off at any time and reveal the (not too deep) v neckline of the dress. He was wearing a button up with an abstract print on it, which you were pretty sure you’ve never seen before. He wore a dark brown flared jeans to match the shade on his shirt, along with a black belt and a dark brown blazer-type jacket. His shoes were shiney, meaning he actually cleaned up. “You don’t look that bad yourself” I replied. “Wait, Steven. Is that a new shirt?” Jackie asked, but he was quick to deny. “I stole it from my dad” he said. “You don’t have a dad, you live at my house. Did you take it from MY dad?” Eric said, confusion in his eyes since Red would never wear something like this. “No, My dad left some things at the house when he ran off, I just never wore it” Steven made-up on the spot, but the truth is he went shopping with Kitty. I knew because she mentioned it next to me.

Once you all arrived at the gym court, Steven and I went to sit on the side. He was next to you, hand on your shoulder. You flinched. “Hey, (y\n), you okay?” he asked. Touch was weird for me, I’m used to getting Zero affection. “i - yeah, I’m great” I replied. “No, you always flinch when I touch you. If it makes you uncomfortable, just say so, I wouldn’t do it” He said, a little upset. “No, it doesn’t bother me, it’s the complete opposite, it’s just that i’m not used to.. Affection” i explained, “i flinch whenever Jackie hugs me, and i Flinch when Donna’s punching my shoulder when i successfully throw a ball, and i flinch when Eric’s giving me a high five…” i start listing, but Steven is quick to cut me off with a weird question, “may i have this dance?”. “Uh, yeah, i guess” i say, and he gets up and reaches his hand out. I take it hesitantly. Just as we get to the dance floor, showing off our awful moves, the Music get slower, and it’s no other then “I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know” by Donny Hathaway. Steven took a step closer to me. “Steven-” I started, wanting to offer we’ll leave the dance floor. Slow dancing was not my thing, and as far as i know Steven was not a fan either. I flinched once his hands took mine and placed them on his shoulders. “I’m sorry” I whispered. “Hey, it’s totally fine” he said as he wrapped his hands around my waist. It was nice, and his touch burned my body in the best way possible. “You always call me steven, why’s that?” he asked, looking into my eyes, or at least that’s what i think he was doing since his sunglasses were on, per usual. “I don’t know, i just feel weird using nicknames” i replied, “kinda weird, i know, but i was never called by any name other than mine. Well, you refer to me as ‘man’ sometimes, but that’s just how you talk” i let out an awkward laugh. I kinda hated the fact he called me “man”, that ment i’m deep in the friend zone, But it was okay once I realized he calls everyone man that time he said “Kitty, man, pass me the salt”. “Even a boyfriend?” Steven asked, his tone suggested something, but i could not tell what. “Never had one” I answered. “So what, like, you never had your first kiss?” Steven asked, an annoying smile on his face. That was a sensitive spot. I don’t think he was aware of that. “Look, Steven, can we not talk about it?” I asked. I was just starting to get used to the situation and he was ruining this. “What, you don’t expect me to believe you’ve never kissed anyone” he insisted, kind-of laughing at the idea. “Well, i haven’t, can you just let it go?”  I said. “Do you want to?” Steven asked. “I guess? I don’t know Steven, i just can’t imagine anyone wanting to kiss me” i replied, giving up. “I want to kiss you” he said. I looked at him, confused. “(y\n), would you give me the honor of being your first kiss?” he asked, pulling me closer. “Steven, you don’t have to-” “did you hear me? I said i want to” he cuts me off. “I- yeah, sure, i would like that” i said, “what do i-”. Before i got the chance to finish that sentence, his lips were on mine, and somehow I just knew what to do. My hands moved from his shoulder to his jaw line, and my lips moved against his so easily, it felt like we were made for each other, or maybe it was just me. At that point I realised that a kiss can be so amazing it’s breathtaking. we pulled away for air,  and he rested his forehead on mine. “You sure you never kissed anyone?” he said, actual suspicion in his voice, “cause wow”.

[zen3to5]

J/H 4-24: Eric’s False Alarm

Another partial re-write - the last one of Season 4, I promise. Context for all of these should be clear to anyone familiar with the episode, as these are more adjustments than wholesale rewrites.

FF.Net AO3

***

SHOW TITLE   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   A quiet afternoon. HYDE in his chair and FEZ on the couch trade jabs with one another. “What’s Your Name” by Lynyrd Skynyrd plays on the radio.   JACKIE enters through the basement door, dressed for work at the Cheese Palace. She has a bag full of cheese cubes in her hand.   JACKIE: Okay, boys. I brought cheese samples from work.   HYDE: What’s wrong with ‘em?   JACKIE: Nothing. (beat) Well, they were in the trash.   Hyde and Fez share a look.   HYDE/FEZ: Cool./Bring it over.   Jackie hands them the bag, and they dig in as she sits.   KELSO enters, also through the door, and makes for the deep freeze.   KELSO: Hey. You know how my brother locks me in a closet with a pillowcase full of dead fish until the stink makes me cry? Well, while I was in there, I heard him make a phone call. And it seems that he’s got a little surprise for Donna tonight.   Popsicle in hand, he sits between Jackie and Fez on the couch.   KELSO (cont’d): The honeymoon suite at that French motel in Kenosha.   JACKIE: The Le Motel?   FEZ: Oh, no. It sounds like Donna and Casey are going to le do it.   KELSO: Yeah. Eric’s gonna freak out when we tell him.   HYDE: Then why would we tell him?   KELSO: To watch him freak out.   HYDE: Kelso, he’s gonna take it really hard, man. We just need to keep our mouths shut.   KELSO: Wow. That’s very considerate of Eric’s feelings. What the hell, man?   He scoffs, crosses to the record player.   HYDE: I just think that we all need to zip it. (to Fez) Especially you.   FEZ: Hey, I can keep a secret. I didn’t tell Kelso you took five bucks from his wallet.   KELSO: (gasps) Hyde!   Hyde shrugs, gives Fez a sour look.   JACKIE: None of you guys can keep a secret.   KELSO: Well, you sure can. Especially when it’s about you kissing other guys.   Jackie stands, crosses to him.   JACKIE: Michael, it was one guy from work. And I told you I’m sorry.   KELSO: Well, tell me again, and this time, maybe you should cry or give me money.   JACKIE: No, Michael. I’m not going to beg for forgiveness. I didn’t make you do that when you cheated with Pam Macy or Laurie.   HYDE: Don’t forget the Sacred Heart chick and Mrs. Ferguson.   Jackie nods, at Hyde and Kelso in turn.   KELSO: (sputtering) That is totally different. When guys cheat, it’s because they need some hot action. But when girls cheat, it’s way worse, ‘cause girls don’t even like sex.   JACKIE: We do too!   KELSO: Then why aren’t we doing it now?   JACKIE: Because I don’t want to do it right now.   KELSO: I do, point made! Thank you!   He nods triumphantly, Jackie throws her arms up and goes back to the couch, and Hyde shakes his head.

***   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – EVENING   THE CIRCLE. ERIC stirs in his seat.   ERIC: Well, I called the Le Motel. Fez, you were right. Casey has a reservation for tonight.   Pan to Fez.   FEZ: And Hyde, you were right. I cannot keep a secret.   Pan to Kelso, a slip of paper with a phone number scribbled across it in his hand.   KELSO: Speaking of secrets, look what I found in Jackie’s cheese. Some guy Phil’s phone number. I can’t take this anymore. I just know it, Hyde. She’s cheating on me again!   Pan to Hyde.   HYDE: Well, whaddya know? Two more, and you two might be even. (to Eric) Forman, man, you gotta be cool about this Donna thing, or she’s gonna know you’re jealous.   Pan to Eric.   ERIC: Whoa. Hey, you guys, I’m not jealous. I’m just looking out for her. I mean, Donna’s practically a sister to me. A tall, shapely sister. Who I’ve done it with. About a million times.   Pan to Hyde.   HYDE: Look, maybe Donna and Casey won’t even do it tonight. I’d call it 50-50.   Pan to Eric.   ERIC: You would?   Pan to Hyde.   HYDE: Oh, I’d be wrong. But I’d call it that to keep you from doing something stupid.   Pan to Kelso.   KELSO: Forman, you gotta do something stupid. Sitting around feeling helpless all day – that isn’t healthy. That’s why I’m gonna stalk Jackie.   Pan to Fez, holding up a small slice of Swiss cheese.   FEZ: You know, I really love things with holes. Swiss cheese, donuts, inner tubes. I don’t know what it is about a hole, it just feels good.   He pops the slice into his mouth.   CUT TO:   INT. JACKIE’S ROOM – EVENING   Jackie sits on her bed, flipping through an edition of COSMO. “Sign, Sealed, Delivered” by Peter Frampton plays on the radio.   The bedside phone rings. Jackie picks it up. SPLIT SCREEN as Kelso, in the basement on the other line, holds up the slip of paper with Phil’s number.   JACKIE: Hello?   KELSO: Is Phil there?   JACKIE: Who?   KELSO: Phil, some guy you kissed! I found his number in your cheese!   JACKIE: Michael, Phil is the guy who delivers the sausage.   KELSO: You tramp!   JACKIE: No, idiot, he brings food to our store. He’s our sausage guy.   KELSO: (beat) Tramp! (notices the song) Who’s that singing? Who’s singing love songs to you?   JACKIE: Peter Frampton.   KELSO: Are you kissing him?   Jackie slams the phone down. SPLIT SCREEN ENDS. She has no sooner begun reading again than the phone rings. Scowling, she picks it up.   SPLIT SCREEN as Kelso is joined on the other line by Fez. Fez is on the phone, held up by Kelso as he listens in.   JACKIE: Hello?   FEZ: Hello, this is Norman. Shall we kiss?   On her end, Jackie rolls her eyes. On their end, Hyde appears behind Kelso and Fez. He frogs them both in the arm and takes the phone from Kelso.   HYDE: (into phone) Just leave it off the hook.   He hangs up. SPLIT SCREEN ENDS. Jackie leans back into her pillows and sighs.   ***   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT   The boys are hanging out. Hyde is in his chair, Fez snacks on cheese on the couch, and Kelso fidgets with incense in the lawn chair. “Count on Me” by Jefferson Starship plays on the radio.   FEZ: The red cheese is chewy.   HYDE: The red cheese is wax.   Fez dwells on that for a moment, but continues to eat.   Eric storms in through the basement door. He struggles to rip his jacket off and throw it to the floor.   ERIC: Oh. Hey, guess what, fellas? Turns out I still have feelings for Donna. Yeah. Deep feelings. Warm feelings. Tingly-in-the-pants feelings. And I can’t do anything about it, because she has those feelings for someone else.   KELSO: I think that admitting you still have feelings for Donna is an important step. Because it reopens the door for this. (mocking) Eric loves Donna! Eric loves Donna!   The guys get in a laugh.   ERIC: Look, you guys, I don’t love her. I just think that if she’s not with me, the fairest thing for everyone is if she’s alone and unhappy.   Kelso stands, crosses to Eric.   KELSO: No. That is a bad plan, man. ‘Cause if you leave a chick alone, the next thing you know, she’s licking the roof of another guy’s mouth. Like the cheese guy. I hate that guy!   HYDE: (to Kelso) God, will you give that a rest already?   KELSO: Oh, here we go! Man, we’re supposed to be friends, Hyde, but you take Jackie’s side whenever she and I fight, even when I didn’t do anything.   HYDE: “Didn’t do anything?” Kelso, Jackie took a kiss from her boss after you kept blowing her off. You slept with at least four women behind her back for months. What’s your excuse?   KELSO:  My excuse is that... I can’t think of one. But I will think about it, and I will find one on the way to the mall, where I’ll be stalking Jackie.   He turns up his nose and marches out the door, Fez in tow.   Eric flops down across the couch.   ERIC:  I just... I can’t believe Donna’s in a motel room with him right now.   HYDE: Man, I don’t like it either. But there is one thing you can do. I believe you have a stack of Playboys underneath your bed? Go use ‘em.   He pats Eric on the leg and heads out the door.   *** INT. MALL – NIGHT   The courtyard’s got a new attraction – a kiddie train track, led by an electric Thomas the Tank Engine, advertised by a sign for “ALL THIS WEEK!” A few kids ride in the cars, while the conductor keeps his cap pulled low over his head.   Around this space hog, Jackie walks the floor, offering cheese samples. A GOOD-LOOKING GUY approaches and takes a sample just as the train comes around to them. The conductor lifts his head up – it’s Kelso.   KELSO: (to the guy) Stay away from my girlfriend!   The guy hurries away. Kelso brings the train to a stop.   JACKIE: Michael, what are you doing? What, are you spying on me now?   KELSO: Well, you’re around strange guys all day, and apparently, every once in a while, you up and French one of them.   He starts the train back up. Jackie walks alongside it.   JACKIE: You have lost your mind!   KELSO: Yep, and I don’t miss it!   JACKIE: Michael, look at you! Riding around on a kiddie train so you can spy on me? I mean, do you not see how crazy this is?   Kelso thinks, brings the train to a halt. He stands, and he and Jackie move into the space inside the train track.   KELSO: Yeah. But I don’t know what to do. I want to believe you when you say you’re sorry, but I can’t, because you never seem like you mean it.   JACKIE: Well, I... you’re right. I don’t.   KELSO: What do you mean?   JACKIE: I mean, I’m not sorry, you idiot! I’m still angry at you for blowing me off the last couple of weeks, and I’m still hurt from all the times you cheated on me!   KELSO: Well, I’m – I’m angry too. And not just ‘cause of the kiss. You don’t support me! You didn’t want me to be a model, you always call me names like “idiot” and put me down, and it makes me feel bad about myself. I think that’s why I cheated!   As they argue, one of the kids climbs over the cars to get to the engine and starts the kiddie train up again.   KELSO (cont’d): Man, it’s... it’s like we’re in this loop, going around and around, just spinning our wheels and holding each other back!   JACKIE: Michael, what are you saying?   KELSO: I’m saying... I’m saying I don’t think I can be with you anymore. I want to break up.   Jackie drops her cheese tray. As the kiddie train goes around, kids reach out to pick up the spilled samples.   JACKIE: Wait, break up? No, no, Michael, please, let’s talk about this -   KELSO: No.   He throws his conductor’s hat aside and walks away.   JACKIE: Wait, but Michael!   She takes a few steps after him before she can’t go on anymore. Unfortunately for the kids, that means she’s standing on the train track. The KID DRIVER stops the train and leans his head out.   KID DRIVER: Clear the track!   The other kids chorus the thought, even as Jackie begins to cry.

[thestupidhelmet]

I've been reading lot of your metas lately and I really love them but I noticed that your criticizm of Kelso is really harsh. I think he's not that bad. His sexist remarks are mostly played for laughs and he wasn't that sexist and stupid in season 1. I think that in season 1 he was actually a good guy then he suddenly became a sex obsessed pig in season 2. Don't you think this might be because he's somewhat traumatized by Laurie's invasion of his boundaries and emotional blackmailing and abuse?

Thanks! I’m glad you’re enjoying my metas, and I understand how my analysis of Kelso might seem harsh. That’s likely due to the fact my metas involving Kelso tend to analyze his worst arcs on the show.

That said, regardless of whether sexist remarks are played/written for laughs, they become part of a character’s makeup if s/he says them. Red and Jackie’s xenophobic remarks toward Fez are played/written for laughs, too. That doesn’t make Red and Jackie any less xenophobic.

I do think Kelso – stripped of Ashton’s charming, often hilarious portrayal – is an unlikable character for much of the show and generally not a “good guy”. But Ashton’s likability comes through Kelso, making it harder to discern just how awful Kelso truly is for most of the series. When I watch Kelso on T7S, I don’t grumble about his terrible behavior. I laugh at his antics and enjoy Ashton’s performance. It creates some cognitive dissonance, and I posted an interesting meta last night discussing that very phenomenon.

Below the cut is an extensive, thorough meta. Tuck in. :)

In season 1, Kelso does have a good friend moment in “Grandma’s Dead” (1x23). A man knocks Eric unconscious with one punch, and Kelso and Hyde avenge Eric’s honor and fight that man and his friends. Other than that, though, Kelso doesn’t demonstrate any real friendship to anyone. He’s focused on himself, Jackie (positively and negatively), and Laurie.

In “Drive-In” (1x08), Kelso almost has another good friend moment with Eric. Eric asks Kelso not to accompany him and Donna to a drive-in movie. But Kelso doesn’t follow-through because Jackie makes the opposite promise to Donna, and Kelso doesn’t put up much of a fight. Kelso and Jackie fool around in the back seat of the Vista Cruiser, making Eric and Donna uncomfortable.

Neither Jackie nor Kelso act like good friends in this episode, but Jackie’s the only one who tries to uphold her promise to Donna. She’s also the only one who acknowledges that she’s not “being a very good friend”. She repeatedly attempts to fend off Kelso’s amorous advances but ultimately gives into them.

In “Sunday, Bloody Sunday” (1x10), Eric needs help finishing a term-paper because he has to entertain his grandmother. Donna offers her, Hyde, and Kelso’s help to write it for him. Jackie offers to get her own essay (that she mistakenly believes is) on the same subject. Kelso, though, is determined to break up with her in that very moment. Unlike Donna, Hyde, and Jackie, he’s entirely self-focused.

In “Ski Trip” (1x13), Kelso cheats on Jackie the first time. He kisses Pam Macy behind the school gym, and Jackie breaks up with him (temporarily). He doesn’t show any remorse for what he did. He just wants Jackie to forgive him.

KITTY: Michael, what are you doing down here?KELSO: You know what? I think Eric actually went [to Jackie’s ski cabin without me]. What a jerk!KITTY: Well, why don’t you just go to Jackie’s cabin and talk to him?KELSO: Ican’t. I don’t have a car; and, besides,Jackie hates me forever because I kissed Pam Macy.KITTY: You know, when Mr. Forman and I were dating., I saw him kissing a girl in a movie theater once, and I forgave him.KELSO: You forgave him for kissing another girl?KITTY: Yes, sir. I mean, it wasn’t – it wasn’t so much kissing as it was a groping, sloppy, pawing, nibbling nightmare.KELSO: But, but you forgave him!KITTY: Yeah, I forgave the bastard!KELSO: Cool!

Kelso hitchhikes his way to Jackie’s cabin, not because he feels badly about hurting her. He wants to go skiing with his friends, confront Eric about Eric’s lack of loyalty to him, and to get Jackie’s forgiveness. When he reunites with Jackie, he still shows no remorse and doesn’t apologize.

JACKIE: You walked all the way here in the driving snowstorm just to be with me, didn’t you, Michael? And you would never, ever do that for Pam Macy, would you?KELSO: No?JACKIE: Lover..

Kelso’s forgiven because he guesses that, “No,” is the answer Jackie wants to hear. Basically, it’s dumb luck. Jackie interprets his journey to the cabin as evidence that he loves her. In other words, she suffers from confirmation bias.

In “That Wrestling Show” (1x15), Kelso takes advantage of Jackie’s fear he’ll break up with her now that they’ve had sex. He uses that fear to control her and order her around. That’s not what a good boyfriend – let alone what a good person -- does to someone he supposedly cares about.

Throughout season 1, Kelso demonstrates his lust for Laurie. She rejects him until “A New Hope” (1x20), where he initiates their first make-out. This episode takes place right after Kelso and Jackie reconcile in “Prom Night” (1x19). Likely only one week into their renewed relationship passes before he cheats on her again.

Laurie doesn’t force herself on him in “A New Hope”. She puts out a lure, implies – though not explicitly – that she’s interested in him, and he bites (well, kisses).

He doesn’t demonstrate that he’s a good guy in season 1. He’s consistently selfish. In the episodes and scenes where he isn’t selfish, with rare exception, he’s neutral. Not harming his friends but also not showing them loyalty, compassion, or generosity.

In comparison, during season 1 Eric shows Hyde significant loyalty, compassion, and generosity (particularly in “Punk Chick” [1x22] and “Hyde Moves In” [1x24]). He shows compassion and loyalty to Jackie in “The Pill” (1x17), and Jackie tries to be helpful to Eric in “Sunday, Bloody Sunday”. Donna is consistently a good friend to Eric and Hyde. Hyde and Fez are consistently good friends to each other. Hyde is variably a good friend to Eric and Donna and a selfish a-hole. 

And Kelso has a single, solitary good friend moment in season 1, as described above.

Interesting to note: he doesn’t experience a significant amount of friendship from anyone else in return, either, during season 1. Eric, Hyde, and – to a lesser extent -- Donna badger him to dump Jackie. Hyde often talks condescendingly to Kelso as if Kelso’s an idiot. Fez calls Kelso a whore, etc.

The only moment of friendship toward Kelso in season 1 that stands out to me happens in “Water Tower” (1x21).  Eric is concerned for Kelso’s well-being after Kelso falls off the water tower. Kelso’s wrist seems broken, and Eric tries to get his mom’s help (and is, as we know, traumatized by catching his parents in the middle of sex).

he suddenly became a sex obsessed pig in season 2. 

Kelso is clearly sex-obsessed in season 1. He just doesn’t actually have sex until “Stolen Car” (1x14), but in “Drive-In” (1x08) Kelso has the following conversation with Eric:

ERIC: You and Jackie have done it, like, a million times!KELSO: True! Yeah, slid into home on the second date!

Eric’s line indicates that Kelso brags about having sex with Jackie often – and  before this episode takes place. But Jackie’s dialogue to Donna during the same scene refutes these claims: “[Michael and I] have never done it! We got to third base once, and that was an accident!”

In “Sunday, Bloody Sunday,” Kelso is seconds away from breaking up with Jackie. Donna orders him not to, and he and Jackie make out right outside the basement door.

In “Eric’s Birthday” (1x02), Kelso becomes aroused just by being in Laurie’s presence. She’s wearing only a long sweatshirt, no pants, to cover her underwear.

LAURIE: If we were at the beach, you wouldn’t even notice me.HYDE: If we were at the beach, Kelso would be in the water right now.

Once she leaves the scene, Kelso interprets Laurie’s non-sexual dialogue about Eric’s surprise party as hitting on himself.

KELSO: Oh! Yeah! Your sister wants me! I mean you sawher coming onto me, right? Remember? I said, “Hello, Laurie,” and Laurie said…

FANTASY LAURIE: Hello, Kelso. I’m waiting. And I want you, baby, to take menow.  I need it bad. I need it all night. And Momma loves her baby. I’mcompletely naked under this, and I’m hot for you, Kelso!

The writers clearly wrote that scene for laughs, but it also shows Kelso’s obsessed-with-sex (and with Laurie) mindset in second episode of the series.

Don’t you think this might be because he’s somewhat traumatized by Laurie’s invasion of his boundaries and emotional blackmailing and abuse?          

I’m all about calling out toxic relationships in the show, whether the perpetrator is male or female (or where both parties act badly). What Laurie does to Kelso in “Red’s Last Day” (2x02) is unacceptable (I wrote a meta on it here). That scene was “played for laughs,” too, but it doesn’t invalidate the awfulness of what Laurie does. It doesn’t make her any less of a rapist. The characters’ actions and words are their actions and words.

I hope I’ve made clear now why “[Kelso’s] sexist remarks are mostly played for laughs” doesn’t make Kelso any less of a sexist. If he’s saying sexist remarks, they’re in his mind to say. Being a sexist is part of his character.

In real life, Laurie’s violation of Kelso and her subsequent manipulation and emotional blackmail of him would likely traumatize him. But as written on the show, it doesn’t. It’s not in the material, which is a shame. But That ‘70s Show is a comedy. The writers weren’t going to turn it into a drama or dramedy that dealt with trauma and recovery. That doesn’t make Laurie’s treatment of him, however, any less reprehensible.

Laurie’s not held accountable by T7S’s writers for what she does. They write Kelso as initially rejecting Laurie’s sexual advances in “Red’s Last Day” then quickly giving into pleasure and accepting it. His no turns into a yes. The meta I linked a few paragraphs up delves into this more thoroughly.

But in this meta here, I’ve already established that Kelso is sex-obsessed in season 1. Laurie doesn’t catalyze that aspect of him. He cheats on Jackie twice in season 1, brags about having sex to his friends that he’s not having. Doesn’t break up with Jackie because, in large part, he craves their sexual relationship. He probably would’ve been the same with any girl who fooled around with him. His lust isn’t Jackie-specific. But Jackie’s the only one offering (until Pam Macy and, later, Laurie).

What Laurie does do, however, is free him from the idea that he can have sex with only Jackie. Just before Laurie forces herself on him in “Red’s Last Day,” Kelso has the following fantasy.

PAUL ANKA: Yeah, with a ride [van] like this you must get a buttload of ladiesKELSO: Actually, Paul, I’m just with Jackie at the moment.PAUL: Just Jackie? What are you, an idiot?KELSO: Well […] I know that a fine machine like this would well snag me lots of pelt. But I love Jackie, and a real man can deny his man-instincts…

Part of him isn’t happy being monogamous. His heart seems loyal to Jackie, but his body isn’t. Later, he has the following exchange with Jackie:

KELSO: So I’d like to see other people!JACKIE: No.KELSO: What I mean to say is that you and I should see other people.JACKIE: No.KELSO: Okay … what if just I see other people?JACKIE: No.KELSO: Okay, okay!

This is actually one of Kelso’s most honorable moments on the show. He tries to get out of his relationship with Jackie so that he can pursue all the sex he wants. Not only that, he wants her to be free, too. Unlike in season 5, he doesn’t expect Jackie to be miserable and alone while he sleeps with whomever he wants.

But Kelso isn’t assertive enough to contend with Jackie’s controlling nature. He backs down, stays in a relationship with her, and pursues all the sex he wants anyway, just without her knowing.

I don’t fault him for saying, “What if just I see other people?” He’s giving her a choice by being honest about what he wants. He’s essentially saying, “This is what I’m going to do if we stay in a relationship. You can accept that or not.”

The problem isn’t that Kelso doesn’t want to be monogamous. It’s that once he agrees to be monogamous, he lies to Jackie about doing the opposite.

We learn in a subsequent episode that Kelso had “some side action” from a girl from Sacred Heart during his relationship with Jackie and affair with Laurie. In “I’m a Boy” (6x08), Kelso reveals he cheated on Jackie a lot more than we ever imagined. He interpreted Jackie’s annoyances at him as “breaks” that gave him permission to sleep with whoever he wants. But they weren’t officially broken up in those moments.

Throughout the series, Kelso is portrayed as a sex addict with little to no impulse control. Laurie doesn’t create that addiction him, but she opens the door to him acting on it fully.

[jacquelineshyde]

Sex and the City but instead of four girls is Jackie, Fez and Donna XD

LMAO, make it four with Brooke because I love writing her (and Kelso). Now, do you realize this is about the movie, right? The one when Mr. Big left Carrie at the altar? That one. Prepare for angst and suffering.

After years of struggling and dating some other asses, Jackie has finally got her happy day to day with Hyde, her own and only Mr. Big, who never wanted something serious until things just turned that way between him and Jackie.

Living together and enjoying life together is one of the best things he has done at the moment. Is amazing how their lives just collided with her best friend, Donna, marrying his best friend, Eric; how the four of them also ended being friends with her ex, that then married one of her best friends and now have a kid, and Fez turned out to be a great dude to spend time with. All is fine, settle, he never thought he would be this happy in a relationship and sure that he wants her forever in his life.

So when she brings the marriage theme, he is ready to say he wants that too. She is surpised but doesn’t act on it, only smiles and waits for him to do the next step. They start planning a simple wedding with only their friends, and no party or big dresses or any of that. She already has idea of what to wear for it, and while her friends aren’t as happy as her, they respect that she has changed her mind about having a big white wedding.

This is Steven, alright, Mr. Big.

It costed them enogh to be together to now ruin it with her desires of cliché romance and whatnot. Yet, slowly, he starts letting her do whatever circus she wants of that wedding. By the time the media knows Jackie Burkhart, everyone’s favorite fashion and make up blogger, co-creator of the blog and now magazine, ‘Sex and the City’, is finally getting married, she gets invited by Vougue to pose in their bride’s edition.

Of course she has to be there! And Hyde seems a little uncomfortable with how big things are getting and how he can’t bring himself to just stop her for a second and ask what is going on, why suddenly he isn’t allowed to say his opinion on things and when did this become only about her desires? He understands, this is every woman’s especial day, but is also his. Yet, he stays quiet and tries to just be happy is happening and his girl is this happy.

Meanwhile, tragedy comes to The Formans’ home. Eric and Donna’s sexual life is in crisis and with Donna working hard and all the damn time, Eric is starting to feel inadequate there. They have a little kid, and he basically takes care of him by himself since Donna’s boss is a bitch and she ony has time to work, work, work. 

On a drunken night, he almost makes a mistake and when he tries to tell Donna, she interpretates it as she wants and doesn’t believe in his words when he explains it didn’t happen, but he did flirt with the girl and made out with her.

Hurt, she decides that they need time as he apologizes in all the ways he can find. When she takes this in her hands and doesn’t listen to him, Eric gets furious and decides he has had enough, making the sepration not a simple break, but an actual attempt to get a divorce. 

Hyde and Kelso get to calm him down a little, but they remind separated as the wedding gets closer and closer.

Fez, on the other hand, has had a relationship with the same guy for years. He is still our pervy guy, he still looks and does bad comments, but his boy loves him anyway. Yet, lately, he has felt like if something is missing in his life and when a hot neighbor moves to the house nex to theirs, he discovers that he isn’t happy anymore in a relationship but can’t admit it. Not to him, not to the girls, not to anyone.

He will try to mantain his relationship the best he can. Because he does loves this guy, is just… maybe he isn’t made to be in long relationships, maybe it’s time for other things too.

By the time reharsal party is here, Donna is over the edge with her marriage situation and needs a break. Hyde ends up trying to reach her but she snaps back, “Why are you getting married!? It’s the biggest mistake of your life!” and damn. 

She seriously needs a break, and Hyde needs to talk to Jackie. They are sleeping in different places for the night, and when he calls to say goodnight and tries to talk to her, she’s too blind by her extremadely big and public wedding to notice Hyde’s attempt at real talking.

Next morning, The Kelso’s home is a mess with the girls getting ready and Betsy running from side to side since her dad is at Hyde’s with the boys. Fez cames to style everyone and Jackie leaves her phone forgotten somewhere when Betsy picks it and shoves it into her purse. Once everyone is ready, and the boys had called to say they are also ready, they go to the wedding.

When Jackie and her friends arrive, Fez is there looking pale and ill. 

Jackie doesn’t need to listen to him to know what is going on, she asks for her phone before he can tell them that Hyde hasn’t arrived. In short, he doesn’t show up and she needs to leave this fucking place before she burst into hysterical crying.

They find Jackie’s phone and the million calls Hyde did before the mess and after the scene in the street (you know the one), but it doesn’t matter anymore. She is a mess, she can’t believe this happened after all they’ve been throught. 

None of the boys also know what to say or to do, and Eric gets out of everyting and tries to see what the hell with Hyde. Fez tries to cancel the honey moon, but seeing is imposible, he decides to buy tickets for the girls and go with them into said travel.

With Kelso staying home with Betsy and Eric with Hyde and Eric’s kid, they leave.

[wetwellie]

Small Bit from my Star Trek AU

When Captain Hall ordered Jack to go down to their new navigator, Ensign Eric Bittle’s quarters, “to check up on him”, he hadn’t expected anything like this. He expected to deal with homesickness, drug abuse, a bad breakup that leads to an uncomfortable work environment, or an injury that hasn’t been reported to the medical wing because it was caused during one of those kegsters that the crew frequently holds. Y’know. Regular issues with the crew on the USS Samwell. Instead. He gets...well. Jack is having a hard time grasping what he’s looking at. 

“Did you bring five year’s worth of baking supplies onto this starship, ensign?” Jack asks, trying to keep his voice as level as possible as he looks over the shoulder of Bittle and into his room. It looks to be insulated with the bags of flour, sugar, shortening, and a plethora of canned and preserved goods that line the walls. How he managed to stow these on board, Jack didn’t know. But he’d talk with those officers soon enough. 

Bittle gulps audibly. “No, sir. I did not. I only brought enough to last me until my next shore leave”

Jack pulls out his datapad and starts typing and swiping away furiously.  “Your next shore leave isn’t for another 3 months”  “But it’s a lot less than 5 years ” 

“I can count 12 5kg bags of flour in that corner alone. How is that 3 months worth?”

Bitty looks down at his feet and mumbles something.  “Speak up, Bittle”

“It’s not for me, sir. Or, rather, it’s not just for me. I thought that it would be a good way to start on the right foot if I made something for everyone at least once a day. Or twice. Because sometimes there are people busy during the morning and they can’t get a slice,”  Bittle rambles helplessly. The guy looks like he’s about to cry. Jack briefly wonders how he got through the academy. They’ll just let anyone in, he figures. “But sir. I mean Zimmermann. Second officer. Mr. Jack? Lieutenant? Commander? Sorry. What rank are you?” “Lieutenant-commander” 

“Right. Two stripes, two words. Got it. Okay,” Bittle says “Lieutenant-commander, sir. I will be more than willing to limit my baking to only once a day.”

Jack purses his lips, counts to three in his head, and then says -- calmly, yet sternly-- “Ensign, you can’t bake at all. Having all of these ingredients, unregulated, travelling through deep space, on a vessel with crewmen and women who may have allergies--and that’s just thinking of the humans-- is a violation of several regulations.” “You think I didn’t take into consideration the potential of allergic reaction? I’ve tested all of my recipes? Sir, forgive the informality, but this isn’t my first rodeo in the xenoculinary studies. I’ve double checked each of my recipes to make sure that everything is safe to eat for every species serving aboard this ship. If that is the issue with my baking, then please don’t worr-” “Ensign, it’s not just the risk of allergies. Each member of the crew has been given a strict diet to follow, and eating these deserts has way too much value than needs to be consumed in a day”

“A piece of pie here and there isn’t going to destroy the crew’s fitness. Not when you have us each work out every day.” He explains. “The positives outweigh the negative, sir. I should be able to continue for the good of morale” Bittle is gaining more confidence with every defense. He’s standing up straighter, hands held behind his back in a parade rest. His eyes are staring back at Jack’s.This should be the norm. Instead, this determination feels like a challenge. He’s not going to back down.  “Regardless of all of those points, Ensign Bittle, there is still something deeply concerning about your behavior that endangers the whole crew” Jack starts “You can’t bake without using some form of heat. How are you able to bake without using a device that doesn’t threaten to explode?” Jack can see Bittle grin for a moment before returning to the same focus he had before. “I know that the idea of ovens are 200 years old, but you should know that they aren’t known to explode. Can they die on you? Yes. Can they cook food unevenly? Of course. That’s beside the point though. I don’t even have an oven on this ship. Could you imagine trying to lug one on?” Jack couldn’t imagine trying to lug 36 jars of jam on board, but that’s besides the point. 

“So how do you bake your stuff?” “I have a friend in engineering” Jack pauses “I don’t see how that has to do with anything” “Mr. Zimmermann, that has to do with everything.” Bitty says. “I’ll give you a moment to think about it” Jack paused to try to wrap his head around it, but failed to come up with anything.  “Do you need a hint?” Jack doesn’t say anything to that.  “Okay. I’ll give you one. It’s something that the engineers always complain about when maintenance comes around, because they say that the suits they have to wear feel like a cactus and sandpaper had a baby” 

It clicked. All Jack could say was “No way” Bitty nodded, seeming a bit proud of himself.  “You are not using the warp core’s coils for that”

“I’ve never gotten a more evenly baked pie. The temperature in there is almost always around 480K, so that means I can’t make the fluffiest of cakes. But I make do” 

“And who is the officer who aides you in placing your pies there?” “I took a couple classes in Warp Core repairs as a gen ed back in the academy, so I know what I’m doing if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not going to get hurt.” “That wasn’t the question. Who gave you the codes and the suit to get it”

“Um” “We don’t have an officer named Um on board, to my knowledge. So it must be someone else” 

Then, like a deus ex machina coming to save the day, Jack hears a voice coming up from behind him. “Come on, man. Don’t make the new kid break our planet’s most ancient, and sacred no snitching policy.”  Jack doesn’t even need to turn around to know who was standing behind him. Turning around to address him in his relative state of undress was merely good manners. 

“Shitty. I mean, Lieutenant Knight. Please don’t interfere with me doing my job.”  “If your job means that you’re taking away the best damn pie I’ve ever eaten, then there’s gonna be a revolt” 

“This man is risking himself in order to make pie. I can’t have that” “And the recreational fighting tournaments that we have on Sundays isn’t risking ourselves? Let it slide” “I don’t see why I should” Shitty turns to look at Bittle and snapping his fingers at him. “Bits do you have any of last night’s pie left over in there?” He shakes his head.  “I think Ransom might have some in his mini fridge. Let me check.”  Shitty dashes down the hall to a couple doors over, leaving the two of them in a painfully awkward silence. Jack decides to listen as Shitty comms Ransom, who Jack knows is working in the labs at the moment.  “Hey man sorry to borrow you but I need you to let me into your quarters” Shitty says into the comm. There is a muffled response. “I need your pie. No no no! It’s not for me... It’s not for Lardo either... I know I said that last time but trust me it’s true...It’s not my fault that you wanted to save it for later! ... come on man. It’s a matter of emergency... No it’s not munchies. I could go to a replicator for that. Jack needs it...The needs of the many outweigh the needs of you, man. No. He can’t wait until tonight...Because if I do not give him your slice of pie, there won’t be a tonight...Oh shit. Rans. Breathe. You’ll get your pie tonight...I know you’re working very hard...lab work sucks ass. All that, uh, centrifugal shit...Thanks man. I owe you.” 

Shitty hangs up, the door wooshes open, and he dashes inside.  “Ransom. Dr. Oluransi, I mean, works too hard in that lab of his.” “He does his best” “He stretches himself too thin.” Bittle shakes his head “He hardly left the lab for the first two weeks I was on board. I had to deliver the pie to him. We all cheered the first time that he came to the mess hall to pick up his slice himself”

Shitty runs back with the pie, a piece of it already piled onto a plastic spork. “Jackie boy I’m gonna need you to open wide.”  Shitty doesn’t let Jack take the fork for himself. Instead, they share a conversation with just their eyes that ends in Shitty staring him down with an expression Jack took to translate as “If you don’t let me feed you, then our friendship is cancelled”

Reluctantly, Jack opens his mouth. In front of Bittle. Who he’s supposed to be superior to. This is why Jack hasn’t gotten his own ship. Because he’s weak. And gets fed pie.

Really good pie. 

Holy shit.

Jack may or may not have made a noise.  He turns to Bittle, who is looking a mix of confidence and nauseated. His skin turned a sickly green. Jack figures it must be the pressure. Jack claps him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Any objection I have is withdrawn. Just try to add some supplements to it like protein and we’ll be fine.” 

He removes his hand from Bittle’s shoulder and turns to take his leave.  After he turns the corner, he hears Shitty, faintly telling Bittle that he should go to the med bay because he’s looking a bit green. Jack tries not to feel guilty. If Bittle didn’t want a nerve wracking confrontation, he should have cleared it with command beforehand. 

He returns to the bridge and finds Captain Hall.  “I spoke with Bittle” “And?” “He’s a good guy. Looks out for the good of the crew” “So he agreed to bring me and Murray a slice?”

Jack sits down at his post and buries his hands in his face.  “I’ll make sure it’s arranged, sir”

[samwellwaffles]

Looking for fics that talk about jack and his anxiety. Any recommendations? 😘

here are some of my favs that have some some good conversations about jack and his anxiety!

Coach Z

summary: Just before the 2009 NHL Entry Draft, top prospect Jack Zimmermann overdoses on his anxiety medication and is admitted to rehab. His future turns from a clear-cut road to the top into an uncertain path filled with therapy appointments, ignored text messages, a group of boys who aren’t there to teach him a lesson about himself, and, of course, hockey.

Something Like This

summary: Jack thought his first year in the NHL would be 100% about hockey, but the reality is so much more complicated. (AU where the Goodbye for the Summer comics didn’t happen, because I had already written 80K words of this. But just because it’s canon doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy long, angsty, get-together stories, amirite?)Alternate summary, courtesy of Dracavia: What if Bad Bob didn’t say anything at graduation?

Better With Time

summary: This fic follows two similar timelines from Eric Bittle’s childhood: the past where he meets his best friend Drew, grows apart from his father the football coach, and experiences the repercussions of being a young gay boy in the South; and the present where he finds new friends and falls in love with Jack Zimmermann, star quarterback of Coach’s new high school team.Over six years Eric is faced with several difficult life lessons, but there is also joy, laughter, love, and self-discovery. More than anything Eric learns that sometimes in life, you really can only get better with time.

A Little Bit Closer

summary: Eric Bittle’s To-Do List:1.) Frame Masters in Library and Information Science diploma and send to Mama, because she never understood the lack of sleep and abuse of caffeine, but she sent cookbooks and money for good chocolate, bless her.2.) Throw away every last highlighted article, graded paper, and syllabus, because they are no longer needed, thank the sweet Lord.3.) Promote the library’s new periodic reading series, because it wasn’t the capstone project for nothing.4.) Harass Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann into taking a picture for @BPLWestEnd to promote the reading of his new children’s book, Jacky’s Bad Days.5.) Do not ogle Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann’s ass.6.) Fail step five. Repeatedly.

Production Values 

summary: ESPN Films presents… as part of the widely anticipated revival of the acclaimed sports documentary series “30 for 2030”…Out On The Ice: The Jack Zimmermann Story.How Jack Zimmermann rocked the sports community and the world when he came out as the first openly gay professional hockey player in the NHL, all while living out his storybook romance with cooking star, Eric Bittle.Produced and directed by Cassidy Hernandez***It’s hard to imagine Cassidy Hernandez’s career as a producer without Jack Zimmermann, or Eric Bittle’s career as a TV food guru without Cassidy. Their professional lives have been intertwined since the beginning. And now, years later, they’re all together again, not by chance but by choice, to tell a story more than a decade in the making.

Broken Rules

summary: Sometimes life changes really quickly. Sometimes everything happens at once. Sometimes the worst things and the best things are intertwined. Sometimes there are things that can’t be fixed, can’t be solved, only survived.Or: This is what happens when I blithely decide, “Oh, well, at least they wouldn’t end up in THAT situation,” and then my brain explains to me exactly how they COULD.

Baking is Punk as Fuck 

summary: “Yeah, dude, I guess. But, like, this is a fuckin’ liberal arts college, brah. Isn’t everyone in a band?”“I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone in a band before. I’m not in a band. Well, I’m in some school bands, but that’s not really… um. What kind of music do you play?”“…Well.”—in which instead of actually playing hockey, the guys play shitty (pun intended) DIY punk in a band called Soft Hands. classically-trained pianist eric bittle doesn’t quite know what’s hit him.

Maybe I’m Waking Up

summary: It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It’s the hardest thing he’s ever done. What comes after is even harder.)

Book of Jubilations

summary: Jack knows logically that ACL tears are common enough that his surgeon will have done this procedure dozens, if not hundreds of times, but——but something can always go wrong. Most people in Jack’s situation will recover completely and without incident, but most is not the same as all. Nothing is sure. No one can make promises. He’s had eighteen months in the NHL and no power in the world can guarantee him any more.The plane flies over Lake Ontario. Somewhere thousands of feet below him, the Maple Leafs are preparing to take on the Capitals. His own team is thousands of miles behind him, flying south to California to play the Kings.Jack tips his head back against the seat and cries.

Of the Nature of the Wound 

summary: His first year in the NHL isn’t easy, but Jack has spent his entire life playing through the hurt.

[inkribbon796]

Loose Lips, Sink Ships

Summary: Secrets, secrets, never tell . . . Secrets, secrets, just as well. Sometimes secrets are harmless, like the fact that Roman has a chronic case of losing the remotes and they don’t actually grow wings. But for Virgil and some of the other heroes, they’re a bit more serious. Too bad the Jims have no sense of the words: “keep out”.

A/N: No ships were harmed in the revealing of secrets. Just Virgil’s peace of mind. ALSO! Just wanted to put it out there I’m really glad I didn’t commit to a name for Deceit, might come out with a bonus fic this weekend for Deceit, cause I’ve got Sanders Sides on the brain.

Marvin would always swear up and down that it was an accident.

The magician had always been good at brewing potions. They took time, and Marvin prided himself on the fact that he could succeed where others failed, or even weren’t so good at. So of course he could make about any type of potion that wasn’t necessarily “above board” to make. I.E: love potions and truth serums. Both of which didn’t last nearly as long as fiction liked to say they lasted for.

However, when the Jims walked into a relatively packed common room with a huge grin, everyone knew something was up with them.

Eric, Patton, Virgil, and Randall were all watching a movie, a little bit of downtime before Patton and Virgil stepped back out. King was in the kitchen arguing about the coffee maker with Ethan and Roman. And Jackie, who was just watching the room, took one look at the Jims and thought, “Oh no, what are they up to this time?”.

“Party’s in the house!” RJ screamed and threw the glass potion he’d been hiding behind his back onto the floor. It smashed into pieces and quickly began to fill up the space.

A silvery smoke instantly flooded the room, more smoke than could have possibly fit inside that little glass orb.

Everyone in the lobby area began coughing, the smoke physically forcing them to breath it in. Jackie used his super speed to open the door and force the smoke out into the open air.

“Fook!” Jackie coughed, “what was that?”

“Not a glitter bomb,” RJ shrugged.

“I thought the label said it was a glitter bomb,” CJ agreed.

“Yeh fookers are mad,” Jackie spat. “Where’d you even get it?”

“Marvin’s study,” CJ answered. “He was working on something else.”

“Then why’d you take it?” Anxiety shouted. “What even was that thing?”

Both of the Jim Twins looked at each other, and then shrugged at the same time.

“Helpful,” Virgil glared at them.

“Okay, so we gotta figure out what it does,” Patton added. “Do you think it’s going to hurt anyone outside?”

“Nah, it was starting to dissipate when it hit the air outside,” Jackie said, zipping over to check outside for a second “Yep, coast’s all clear.”

Patton let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, that’s good.

“Maybe we could ask Marvin,” Randall asked.

“Good idea,” the Jim twins began at almost the same time. “We’ll go find him.”

Then they looked at each other with confusion.

“Nah uh,” Ethan walked over. “I don’t trust the two of you with shit. I’m coming with.”

Once the three of them were gone, Roman commented, “What if it only works on twins. Oh no! Will I be forced to share a mind with Remus again.”

“Shoot me,” Virgil groaned.

“No, you don’t really mean that do you?” Patton asked in concern.

“Of course not,” Virgil said. “It just slipped out.”

Patton looked relieved, and then tears started prickling his eyes, “Oh good, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Then Patton raced over and wrapped his arms around Virgil, the more anxious Side stiffening up like a cat that had been suddenly picked up.

“Come on, Pat, let me go,” Virgil struggled.

“Why don’t I ever get a hug from you?” Roman complained.

Jackie had his head in one of his hands, his phone starting to ring for Marvin. He was getting impatient, even more so when Marvin didn’t answer him. “Come on, we need to figure out what we got hit with.”

Marvin walked in with Ethan and the twins, and Jackie immediately stomped over to him.

“Hey Marv, what the hell?” Jackie spat. “What’d they steal?”

“I can’t tell just by the color ‘a smoke,” Marvin defended heatedly. “Has anyone suddenly tried making out.”

“No,” Eric said. “I ha-ve a b-b-oy-friend now, and . . . I don’t want to cheat on him. I’ve . . . I’ve never had a boy-friend before and—”

“Eric,” Marvin called out. “Breathe.”

“Is it Illy?” Roman’s attention hyper focused on Eric. “Did he call back? Tell me.”

“Illinois?” King balked. “Why the hell you are dating that asshole?”

“He’s not an asshole, he’s a sweetheart,” Eric began tearing up.

“He put slugs in my bed,” King dismissed. “He’s a nut job who got crazier the older he got and the closer he got to Dad.”

“Is it the same Illinois that works for Dark?” Virgil spoke up. “King’s right, he’s crazy.”

“He’s not!” Eric began crying.

“Hey, quit making ‘em cry, assholes,” Randall shouted back.

Magic suddenly seized all of them, Marvin taking control of the situation. “Hey,” Marvin called out. “Okay, it’s either a truth potion, or someone aerosolized my supply of Whiskey.”

“What were you doing with a truth potion?” Jackie demanded. “Did you give it to those two fookers?”

“No,” Marvin scoffed. “Those two would steal the clothes off my back if it meant pulling a prank.”

“We totally would,” CJ smiled, fist bumping with his brother; both of them which huge proud smiles.

“Doesn’t mean you didn’t try something,” Jackie reminded.

“I didn’t drug yeh, an’ it’ll wear off anywhere from an hour ta about a day, ‘pends on the dose.”

“A whole day!” Jackie was practically screeching.

“Depends on the dose,” Marvin answered. “But as long as no one’s got some deep dark secret you all should be fine.”

Anxiety let out a nervous scream.

Kay laughed nervously, “Everyone already knows mine.”

Patton began sobbing, whatever he was saying almost indecipherable.

“Well that’s great,” Marvin groaned.

“Why did yah even have that potion?” Jackie asked, still glaring at Marvin. “Probably didn’t mean for us ta get it though.”

“I made it ages ago an’ didn’t want ta risk it by flushing it down the drain,” Marvin spat. “Just get e’eryone comfortable, I’ll see if I can whip an antidote up.”

“Thanks, asshole,” Jackie spat. Then he looked a little surprised. “Dammit, that was supposed to stay in my head.”

“Well ‘til the potion wears off, it’s not. Keep everyone who was affected here,” Marvin sighed. “I’ll make some calls.”

Jackie nodded, thanking Marvin in-between cursing at him.

Keeping themselves in the lobby they tried not to insult each other the best they could. Eric was mostly calmed down, only  snapping at King who snapped back. It was fun for everyone to see the normally timid Eric snapping at someone.

However Patton was lying in the middle of the floor, staring at the ceiling. Virgil and Roman were on either side of him. King and Jackie were on the sofa and both the Jim’s were piled into a bean bag chair. Eric has gone to his room to sleep everything off, Randall taking him there.

“Do you ever think that your life’s a lie?” Patton mumbled out loud. “That no matter how many times you fuse, and how hard you try to be a good person, someone can just scoop out everything that makes you a good person and put in something else.”

Roman stared at him. “Like what?”

“I think I was replaced with another Patton, that your Patton is in my world, and I’m here,” Patton began to ramble. “But I wanna be a good person, I wanna be a good person so bad it hurts.”

“You are a good guy, Pat,” Roman said, cuddling up next to him.

“No, I’m a bad person,” Patton said in-between sobbing, his voice choking up. “I worked with Dark, I’ve watched people die.”

“You never worked with Dark, you’re been with the other Sides the whole time,” Anxiety told him. “I would have recognized you.”

“Then why do I have all these awful memories in my head that won’t go away,” Patton sat up, looking desperately at Virgil. Whether or not he was looking for reassurance or someone to validate his claims was unknown. “They only go away when I fuse. When I was Thomas last time they went away for months.”

Anxiety seemed to be thinking on Patton’s words, “It must be Arthur, he must be doing that to you. He’s forcing you to think that way.”

“Who’s Arthur?” Patton asked.

“Arthur’s dead,” King interrupted. “He bled out on an operating table in front of me. How many times do I keep having to repeat that.”

“What do you mean he’s dead, he can’t be,” Virgil responded. “He’s been keeping Dark from taking over the base.”

“Nah that’s Host and J.J, the two of them keep Dark out,” Roman bragged. “Dark’s always been trying to get into the base but it wasn’t until the Host joined that J.J got some help.”

“I knew he was a liar!” Anxiety shouted.

“Who?” Roman asked. “Dee?”

“Dark!” Anxiety answered. “Oh no.”

“He lies about a lot of stuff,” King agreed. “He once told me we couldn’t get a pet, and then he got himself a cat and named it after himself. I just wanted a puppy.”

“That’s so sad,” Patton told him, rolling over to prop his chin up on his palms. “Least you got a kitty.”

“For a couple days,” King dismissed. Then he paused, “Hey Vee, how’d you even hear about Artie? Everyone in the network uses nicknames.”

Virgil felt the words coming, like an out of control freight train with broken brakes. He grabbed at his throat. “He told me to look for him.”

“Who?” King asked. “Artie?”

“I don’t want to do it, I have talked with him since,” Virgil said, everyone was staring at him.. “You have to believe me, I didn’t believe it, I’m not spying on you, I promise!”

“I believe you,” Patton told him. “You don’t have to talk to him ever again.”

“What kind of spy doesn’t report on the people he’s spying on?” Jack agreed.

“You’re not mad?” Virge asked, daring to hope that somehow he was getting out of this alive. “Even if I was a bad guy?”

King laughed, “You think that’s bad, I’m hiding out from my old man because he would probably kill me if he ever saw me again.”

“Who’s your dad?” Randall asked.

“Dark,” King said, before slapping his hand over his mouth. “Oh no, Host’s gonna kill me.”

“What!?” About half of the heroes in the room shouted. Virgil stared at King.

“You’re not Arthur,” Virgil said out loud, his filter completely destroyed by the truth dust.

“Nah, that’s one of my siblings,” King was staring at his hands. “Host, Bim, Yan, me, Illy, Yancy, and . . .”

Then he stared at his hands, “Huh, weren’t there seven of us?”

“Was that Arthur?” Virgil asked.

“Nah, I already counted him,” King dismissed, waving at Virgil’s direction. “Sides, Artie’s kinda dead, except in the ways that probably matter. You all lucked out, you guys didn’t have to babysit him.”

RJ, who was almost falling asleep with CJ snapped away, almost dragging him and his camera over to have it almost pressed into King’s face. “This sounds like a story.”

King stared at the camera in fear, “Is that live? Please tell me it’s not live.”

“The Jim Twins should make sure it doesn’t see the light of day,” the Host announced himself.

“Host, there’s a truth spray in the air!” King called out desperately as the Host walked closer.

“Even if it was still the air, the Host’s narrations have him dictate his mind anyways,” the seer reminded.

“Oh yeah,” King’s mouth formed a thin line. “You really got the short end didn’t you?”

The Host just stared at him. “The King of the Squirrels should take a nap before he incriminates himself any further.”

“What if I did?” King somehow looked halfway between apologetic and not even a little remorseful. “Like, what if I messed up, bad?”

“The Host noticed,” the seer frowned at him.

“Nah, it was bad,” King frowned. “The one thing you told me not to do, I did it.”

“The Host can see the future, he doesn’t need a replay,” the Host reminded curtly.

“Do you hate me?” King asked sadly. “You probably do, right?”

The Host sat down on the couch next to his adopted brother, his expression softening, “The Host has never hated King.”

“Did Artie?” King was staring at his hands.

“No the Author did not hate King either,” the Host told him “He was angry and dangerous, but he did not hate his adopted family.”

King looked sad, “Oh, that sucks. Cause you were an asshole and I always felt bad about not being nicer.”

“King should save his sympathy,” Host decided. “The Author did not deserve it.”

“You did,” King told him. “You were in there, an’ I should’a been nicer.”

“So you’re Arthur then?” Virgil asked, narrowing his eyes in concentration. “Probably should have called that.”

“King and his friends should sleep,” Host told him, as his words began to curl around the room and people began dropping one by one to sleep. “Everything will be better after you sleep.”

They slept, making it easier for the minds to clear even if each of their dreams were a little more unusual and potion-fueled than usual. Marvin was able to lift the spell by the time they woke up, leaving an uncomfortable atmosphere in the potion’s wake.

[ramajmedia]

10 Things From That 70s Show That Haven't Aged Well | ScreenRant

We're all familiar with the sitcom that follows a group of teenagers as they live their lives in the 70s. In That 70s Show, which actually began airing in the late 90s, we meet all sorts of dynamic, wild, and quirky characters as they go through life dealing with relationships, school, and family. However, while this show is still hilarious, not everything from it has aged incredibly well. In case you're wondering, here are 10 things from the series that don't exactly hold up by today's standards.

RELATED: That 70's Show: 10 Storylines That Were Never Resolved

10 The Huge Deal About Homosexuality

This show is definitely not homophobic, and, sure, it takes place in the 70s, but that doesn't mean this show doesn't feed stereotypes. In the first season, Eric starts hanging out with Buddy (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). He discovers that Buddy is gay when Buddy tries to kiss him.

This episode perpetuates the idea that gay people are attracted to all men, which is kind of ridiculous. Also, remember when Fez has a weird dream about Kelso, and they're both horrified by the thought of being attracted to each other? Yeah, we, unfortunately, do, too.

9 Frowning Upon Female Empowerment

Donna is a strong woman, and she constantly is getting made fun of for her "non-girly-like" tendencies. This theme shows up most prominently, though, when her mother, Midge, starts taking female empowerment classes in "Stolen Car".

Bob is not pleased about this and has difficulty accepting the fact that Midge should have her own ambitions and strengths. That's pretty misogynistic Bob, and we're not having any of it.

RELATED: That ‘70s Show: 10 Times It Broke Our Hearts

8 Insulting Men's Emotions

Red is pretty old-school, and it goes without saying that he likes his gender stereotypes. Yes, some of the characters do break these, but it doesn't go without being chastised by the other characters.

Red is constantly on Eric for not being manly enough. Another example is in the episode "Grandma's Dead" when Red's brother comes to visit after their mother passes away. Red is embarrassed that his brother is emotional at the funeral. How dare a man cry over his mother's death, right?

7 Contraception

There's a whole lot of talk about sex in this series. Of course, it's the 70s, and what else do young adults talk about? However, one thing that definitely hasn't aged well is the whole deal with contraception.

There are a couple of times where either Donna or Jackie thinks they are pregnant, which is humorous, and, honestly pretty relatable. However, everyone tries to get involved with Donna's means of contraception, and we're not having anyone tell any woman what to do with her body, ever.

RELATED: That ‘70s Show: 10 Most Underrated Supporting Characters

6 Expectations for Sex

Again, sex is a pretty common theme for this group of friends. Sure, kids can be mean and get pretty involved with each other's sex lives, but this show doesn't do anybody any favors when it comes to gender expectations.

For example, when Eric and Donna sleep together but don't have sex, Eric is chastised for not being a 'man'. Similarly, Eric, for who knows what reason, pulls Donna's pants down during a basketball game, revealing her "granny panties." Of course, she's made fun of for this. Today's lesson: have sex when you're ready and wear whatever the hell you want.

5 Everything To Do With Leo

Sure, Leo is the hippie guy that loves photography and smokes a lot of pot and has long hair and is super stupid. Need we really say more about this absolutely atrocious stereotype? Yeah, it's funny, and we all love Tommy Chong. In fact, we're sure this guy has absolutely no grievances with playing this character.

However, we're not exactly sure that this character ages well in terms of inclusivity and stereotypes. Leo is also kind of a bad person who ends up in jail and has tons of money problems. This huge jab at stoners isn't sitting well with us.

RELATED: That '70s Show: 7 Couples That Hurt The Show (And 13 That Saved It)

4 The Shaming of "Big Rhonda"

If you remember at the beginning of the fourth season, the gang is introduced to Big Rhonda. For starters, her name is literally "Big," and, yes, that should be offensive.

What's even worse, though, is that Fez *amazingly* becomes attracted to her after he gets drunk, and it's, like, a huge deal. We don't really have to explain much more about why this isn't aging well. Yes, you should be offended about everything to do with this character. Oh yeah, they also give her a makeover?

3 "Eric's Hot Cousin"

Yes, this is in fact even the name of the episode that you probably remember cringing all the way through. When Eric's cousin comes to visit, the boys realize that she is older, mature, and smoking hot. However, she takes a liking to Eric.

Of course, this is all a ploy by her to get revenge on Eric for some childhood prank he pulled on her. Still, this episode is absolutely appalling to watch, and it's definitely one of Eric's least redeeming moments in the entire series. Can't say incest was ever okay, but it certainly hasn't aged any better.

RELATED: Where Are They Now: That '70s Show

2 "Let's Spend the Night Together"

This is another episode title, and we chose to include the whole thing because there are multiple parts that are definitely not holding up.

For starters, Hyde finally meets his real biological father. He happens to be a black man, which ends up being the source of many jokes and awkwardness. Sure, it's the 70s, and, yes, Hyde is white, but this whole race fiasco shouldn't exactly be surprising. On the other side of the gang, Donna takes Eric to a feminism rally. This whole scene is horribly unrepresentative of feminists—and rather depicts radical ones—and gives a bad name to all women and men in the movement towards equality. This didn't hold up then, and it's definitely only getting worse as time goes on.

1 When Charlie Falls Off the Water Tower

There's a lot of things from this sitcom that should, and do, make you cringe and definitely question how on earth kids are allowed to watch it these days. While we almost included the plethora of strippers, dating older women, and the weird thing that was Donna and Eric's engagement, we settled on this item for the last spot on this list.

Kelso falls off the water tower A LOT, but do you remember when their new friend, Charlie, falls off the tower in the first episode of the 8th season? Do you remember that he dies? This was supposed to be funny, and it's actually just kicked under the rug, like, immediately after. Yeah, we draw the line at young teenagers falling to their violent death.

We still love this hilarious and quirky show, and we know you'll watch it again. However, you might want to just skip these episodes or at the very least, take them with a grain of salt.

NEXT: Early 2000s Sitcoms Which Defined That Era Of TV

source https://screenrant.com/that-seventies-show-hasnt-aged-well/

[mbtizone]

Kitty Forman (That '70s Show): ESFJ

Dominant Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Kitty is very emotionally expressive. It’s very easy for her to talk about her feelings, and she wants other people to discuss theirs as well. When there’s a conflict in her household, Kitty wants to talk it out. Sometimes, Kitty feels unappreciated and taken for granted by her husband and children. She loves validation, attention, and compliments. Kitty wants to be needed and useful to others. Because she’s so compassionate and kind, Kitty is a natural at taking care of people (especially since she’s a nurse) and has very keen maternal instincts, accepting all of Eric’s friends into her home and often acting as a surrogate mother to them. She doesn’t want Eric growing up and leaving home because she enjoys her role as a mother and a nurturer. It’s almost as though she doesn’t know who she is without anyone to look after. When Kitty begins menopause, she’s very upset at the thought of not being able to have another baby, but when Red reminds her that someday she’ll have grandchildren, she gets very happy and excited. When Eric wants to move after graduation, she’s angry and upset. When someone says Kitty is pretty, she becomes overjoyed, giggling and smiling. Kitty likes for things to be civil and harmonious. Whenever there’s tension between Eric and Red, she tries to smooth it over. “What your father means is…” Kitty is warm, affirming, and encouraging, and can become sensitive when others don’t reciprocate. She’s always there for people who are in need. Kitty cares what other people think of her, as well as her family and wants to project a good image to the outside world. She wants to be socially appropriate and she likes for other people to think that she has the “perfect” family.

Auxiliary Introverted Sensing [Si]: Tradition is very important to Kitty. She enjoys holidays and making a big deal out of birthdays. Kitty isn’t particularly adventurous and doesn’t mind her daily routine for the most part. Kitty often returns to her familiar comforts, such as drinking or smoking. She likes to do things the right way. Kitty has an eye for detail and likes everything just so. She goes to church every Sunday because that’s the right thing to do, and gets very upset when her family doesn’t want to continue going, believing that they won’t get into Heaven. She’s also uncomfortable going alone, because she’s afraid of what other people might think or say (Fe-Si).

Tertiary Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Every once and a while, Kitty wants to do something spontaneous, and gets upset when Red gives her a hard time about it. Let’s go dancing! Let’s go out to dinner somewhere nice! However, because Red has higher Si than she does, and therefore, lower Ne, he has no desire to deviate from his usual routine. He’s very happy to go to work, come home, and spend the entire day in the house. Sometimes, Kitty is good at making connections and seeing what’s really going on. On occasion, Kitty’s imagination can be a bit overactive, imagining vivid fantasies or possibilities that would never really happen, like when she visualized her ideal family life, filled with singing, dancing, and happiness, just like the Brady’s (Fe-Ne). However, because she has lower Ne, these possibilities can easily turn negative, and she uses them to think of all the worst-case scenarios, such as when Eric and his friends are celebrating his birthday in the house while Kitty and Red are next door at Bob and Midge’s, and she imagines Eric strapped to a chair while his friends engage in morally questionable behavior.

Inferior Introverted Thinking [Ti]: It’s not easy for Kitty to put her feelings aside and think rationally. She can be overly sensitive at times, and instead of taking the time to analyze situations, she typically just reacts emotionally instead. Kitty will place importance on facts that she agrees with, and dismiss what she disagrees with. After Red’s heart attack, the doctor gives them a list of things that need to be cut out of his diet, and, in order to be supportive, she tells him that she’ll do it with him to be healthier. She accepts every point on the list, until she gets to the part about giving up alcohol, and immediately calls the doctor “a quack.”

Enneagram: 2w3 So/Sp

Quotes:

Kitty: Okay Red, I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just remember, Santa is a cheerful, jolly fellow, who never calls a child “dumbass”.

Little Girl #2: I want a flying car. Red: I did too when I was your age, kid. But then the future came… and took my dreams away. Just like it’s gonna take yours. [the girl gapes] Kitty: Okay, okay little girl, y’know what? I bet if you’re extra good, you’ll get your flying car one day. [Kitty and the girl walk away] Red: [calling after them] Don’t listen to her, it’s a lie. [Kitty turns to Red, glaring at him] Kitty: [chiding] Bad Santa!

[Red has just finished telling the boy his version of Vietnam War] Red: …and that’s what really happened in Vietnam. Young Boy #2: [confused] I don’t understand. Red: [glumly] Neither do I, kid. Neither do I. Kitty: Okay, little boy, time to say goodbye to Santa. [Kitty leads the boy away. The boy turns to her] Young Boy #2: What’s an “ambush”? Kitty: [smiles] It’s a pretty bush with yellow flowers. [Red gets up and approaches Kitty] Red: Kitty, I gotta tell ya, I’m good with kids. I really taught him something. Y’know, I think I’m beginning to feel the Christmas spirit. Kitty: Well, I’m glad Red, but let’s try telling a Christmas story where nobody gets caught in a fire fight.

Donna Pinciotti: This entire room is an example of bad taste. [Kitty and Red walk into the living room] Kitty: Excuse me? Donna Pinciotti: Mrs Forman- Kitty: I have spent years picking out every item of this room, surrounding myself with the things I love and the people I thought loved me.

Kitty: Oh he gave you shoes. What do you say Red? Red: [To Bob] What the hell’s wrong with you? Kitty: Or we say thank you very much.

Red: Shoes are an innaprorpiate gift to give to another man. Kitty: How about when you joined the service? Another man issued your boots. Red: So he gave me a gun so I let it go. Kitty: Why can’t you just accept the gift because Bob is your friend? Red: Kitty you don’t understand how men work out. We dont give each other presents. We just basiclly ignore each other until we score a touchdown.

Kitty: You have been such a big help, working yourself nearly to death. I made you your special sandwich. Eric: Awww. The ‘Eric McSweety’.

Donna Pinciotti: You’re babying him. Kitty: I’m not. Donna Pinciotti: Are there crusts on that sandwich? Kitty: Of course not! Crusts are icky, they make Eric sicky. Oh, my God, I am babying him!

Red: [not looking up from paper] You don’t have a date, do ya? Eric: [Walking over, Donna mirroring his direction] Okay. You know what? It’s not about “can I get a date?” It’s about this great book that I’m like, halfway through. Plus, you know, I could get a date. [Red laughs once] Eric: I got numbers, Buddy. Kitty: Sure you do, Honey. You’re number 1 with me!

Kitty: [Kitty is recording an audio tape for Eric in Africa] Eric! Steven just punched Michael! [regains composure] Kitty: And although I am upset with Steven for hitting Michael, it was very exciting!

Reginald ‘Red’ Forman: So you’re too proud to take her back? And what do you have to be so proud of? You’re not an athlete. The only smart thing about you is your mouth. And look at you. Kitty: Red… Red, he looks fine. He’s just so darn stupid! I’m… I’m very upset. Eric: Well, stop, okay? Because, I already feel bad enough as it is. Kitty: Well, you should. Eric: Well, I do!

Kitty: [talking to a fish in a distorted voice] Um… people really depended on me, which I kind of miss, although I don’t really miss the bedpans.

Red: [to Hyde after yelling at him for taking the blame for Jackie having dope] If you ever do anything like that again I’ll kick your ass until your nose starts to bleed. Kitty: And we love you.

Kelso: Ya know guys, there are a lot of ladies out there and I haven’t seen nearly enough of them naked. From now on, I’m gonna live free. I’m going to be boldly going where no man has gone before. [the next scene shows the Forman’s front door. The doorbell rings and Kitty answers the door. Kelso is standing there holding flowers] Kelso: Is Laurie here? Kitty: [laughs] Don’t you mean Eric? Kelso: No, Laurie. Your other kid. [Hyde walks by and stops when he sees Kelso] Hyde: You’re dating Laurie? Man, you’re going where every man has gone before. Kitty: [turns around] Steven it is not nice to be so… truthful. [Laurie comes down the stairs] Laurie: Hi, Kelso. [notices the flowers] Laurie: Did you buy those for me? Kelso: Yep, just like you told me. Laurie: No, I told you roses! Come on, doofus! [she walks out the door with Kelso] Hyde: You know Mrs. Forman, those two could have the dumbest babies ever. Kitty: [starts to laugh then abruptly stops and turns toward Hyde] That’s not funny.

Kitty: Sweetie, white lies help relationships. Like, ‘Kitty, even though your pot roast was overdone, I still loved it.’ Red: Oh for the love of God, I did love it. You’re a pot roast genius, okay? It was like eating gold. Hyde: So you’re saying lying is good? Kitty: Exactly. Now go do the right thing, and lie to the woman you love.

Eric: Then they go into this bar and there are all these space creatures. Then someone makes the mistake of picking on Obi-Wan Kenobi. And then he takes out his lightsaber and he goes “whoosh” and he chops this guy’s arm right off… ’cause it’s a saber that’s made out of light! Kitty: You know, this doesn’t sound like a nice movie. Now, The Way We Were, that’s a nice movie.

Kitty: We are very disappointed in you, Eric. Even though going to California to rescue Donna is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard of.

Eric: Oh, hey, here comes a dumb question. Uh, I wasn’t a mistake, was I? Kitty: Oh, for… for… Okay! Who wants some cocoa?

Kitty Forman (That ’70s Show): ESFJ was originally published on MBTI Zone

[zenmasterscentral]

What are your favorite zen master episodes? Both from earlier seasons and five/six

This is a blog run by lots of people, so I invite my partners to answer with their favorites too :) Mine (Nina/jacquelineshyde) would be:

Season 1, episode episode 18: Career Day. I think this is the episode when we start noticing how similar Hyde and Jackie’s deeper wounds are. They both have absent parents and they both seek for advice and attention on more loving parents they know, The Formans. In this case, Red. Who also shows us he is truly a great dad. That small smile Hyde gives Jackie when she goes under the car again is just adorable. I also love seeing Jackie working with cars, I wish this was something that had stayed with the show.

Season 1, episode 19: Prom Night. This is when I started to ship them.Until this episode, Hyde’s characterization was horrible for me. I didn’t like him at all until this episode happened. Because he is shown as a person who cares and respects other people’s struggles and desires. He tries to help Jackie, not because she is his friend or because he likes her, but because he can’t stand her crying and knows it’s the right thing to do. He later makes Kelso go back to her, even knowing his stupid friend may hurt her again, because in that moment is the right thing to do. We get to see a part of Hyde we didn’t until this episode, and I love that Jackie is the first character to bring up this charcterization from Hyde. It tells you a lot, and its curious due to how things go between them later ;) While Jackie, we see her as a real human being here. She is sad, she struggles, she wants to enjoy something like any other teenager and she is going through a hard time. She’s vulnerable but also she is shown as th strong character she is. She walks and dances, and dress up beautiful for her prom even knowing she will be seeing Kelso. The way she compliments Hyde, makes a good observation about herself and asks to mee his mother, tells you she is more than her shallow mask. It’s good to see that.

Season 2, episode : Kelso’s Serenade.I’m still wondering what exactly made Jackie always trust Hyde with her broken heart. She start putting atention to him and wanting to spend time with him, even when Fez may had been the more accurate election since he has been wanting her for a while. But then again, maybe that’s why Hyde was her first option. She knows he’s not gonna see her as an object and it’s not going to sexualize her. The problem is that he can’t barely stand her, even when he sees her in a different light by now. Finally, he decides to give it a try, it’s free food and maybe it can go well. Even when he rejects her later that night, it’s obvious that he cares for her as a friend and that he doesn’t want her to still be hurt.“Anything for you, doll”, he says with a big smile. He knows she needed to be assured she will be fine and that things will be bright one day. And it’s so incredible because he predicted exactly what happened with them. He told her things will eventually be fine, and they were that summer, and he told her she will realize she can do better than Kelso, and she did just like she confirms during season 5/6, and then she would find somebody great, and she found him.By the end of the episode, I died when she says her goodnights to him and kisses him near his lips. This time, he doesn’t reject her and doesn’t move. In fact, he kinda moves his lips to kiss her back, but she kisses the corner of his mouth. The way he acts all cocky in front of both, Kelso and Fez who don’t see Jackie as a person but a prize to win, tells so much. He is on her side.

Season 2, episode 25: Cat Fight Club. Laurie’s shit towards Jackie is ridiculous. She is truly mean and disgusting as she tries her best to make her feel bad all the time, Hyde recognizes this and decides he has had enough. That’s why he decides to teach her his own way of protection, something we have seen him use all the time on the show. His Zen. After telling her that he found her abrassive, it’s fun to see him try so hard to protect her/teach her how to protect herself. As he says “Shine, grasshopper, shine”, I absolutely fell in love with the idea of them being romantic at some point. Meanwhile, I enjoyed the hell out of this episode. Jackie also wins the basement’s respect after kicking Laurie’s ass. Even Eric says she’s his hero. And she enters the circle. It’s a great zen episode, since we got our shipname form it, and also a great Jackie episode.

Season 2, episode 26: Moon Over Point Place. Although I don’t like Jackie’s menners with Hyde, since they are kind of stalkish, I do recognize if she had approached him better, it would had been more obvious that Hyde’s care may not be as platonic anymore. Like any other teenager, she tries to impress the boy she likes. She sees in Hyde an incredible human being and she wants him to see her as somoene beyond Kelso’s ex-girlfriend. It still rubs me the wrong way how he keeps treating her bad after being totally nice to her just the episode before, but it’s also understandable if we take in that it seems like Jackie’s stalking moves had been going for a while. She’s right in something,he doesn’t know her and he doesn’t see they have more in common that he thinks. If he could give her the chance, things would had gone different… maybe.Then, he goes to jail for her. And honestly, how much of a good guy he can be? He’s incredible. And she’s so amazed by it, because damn, no one else would do that for her. No one. 

Season 3, episode 8: Jackie Bags Hyde. What zennie doesn’t like this episode? I love this episode and everything about it. From Hyde refuisng to believe he does has feelings for Jackie, to Jackie realzing what Hyde did to protect her (agaaaaain), to Kitty being the Shipper Mom™, to their first kiss.Seriously, that first kiss is the perfect first kiss. I have never seen a better first kiss in the story of fiction. It’s wonderful. And I’m sure as hell Jackie did felt something, she just was too scared of the intensity of it (and that the writers were bad most times, to be honest), while him? LMAO, it’s obvious he felt everything he thought he was never going to feel for anyone. This episode is a gem. 

I woul like to add that I can’t point out a s4 episode for its zennic aspect, but there’s a lot of Subtext™ on the season, as most of us have noticed and talked about. That said, I’m only going to number the episodes from season 5 to 7 that I like the most when it comes to the couple.

Season 5, episode 9: Black Dog.I remember doing a face when it’s known that Jackie’s dad was thrown into jail. I knew they would do something really bad with her character because I never trusted the writers of the show (lol), but I’m actually happy with the result of the episode. Even though Hyde not knowing what to say to make her feel better is ooc, since we have seen him being supportive of her and her sorrow before (season 1 and 2), one can explain this by saying that now that they are in a relationship, he’s not sure if that means he can keep doing things as if they were only friends. Besides, he cares for her more deeply than he ever though, so being afraid and careful is just normal.He has dealt with this kind of stuff before by his own and it’s in his own way, he learned different than to know how to be nice in situations like this, because no one was nice to him when it happened to him. So he is confused as to what to do or say for Jackie, who is obviously going through a horrible time for her. When he decides to shave, even when he obviously loves his looks and his beard, he is not– being this dude that does what his girlfriend wants, but being someone who loves their couple enough to put his own comfort aside just to make them smile. And it’s worth it! I feel like this was Hyde’s first real I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU, PLEASE BE HAPPY small detail to Jackie, and I think she recognizes it too.

Season 5, episode 12: Misty Mountain Hop.I yell every time I watch this episode (which is a lot lol). Because in here, we see Jackie moving forward in their relationship. They had been together for months by now and they get into a big time fight in which both have reasons to be mad at the other. She should told him the truth, what she was doing and why, and he had never, ever, do that to her back (going to crash without permision a place that belongs to her family? WHAT THE FUCK? Hyde is kinda out of character in this episode, at least in this part, in my opinion).This time, in a very nice parallel I better see giffed soon (lol), she takes the blame for the founded pot. It was Hyde’s this time, and it was going to cost him his place at The Formans. He will had been homeless and family-less, too. Something to notice is that, by this point, Jackie’s mom had probably already left and she was alone too. Of course she won’t let him lose his home either, no matter how mad at him she may be.After defenidng him, he is amazed. He admits no one has ever done something as nice for him before, which is telling you a lot, because he is always doing this kind of stuff for everyone, for her, and now there’s this girl who loves him so much, she would take any blame for him at any given time. It’s beautiful.

Season 5, episode 14: Babe I’m Gonna Leave You.This episode KILLS ME all the time. But I love it so much, it’s a good episode for Hyde and Jackie as couple and as characters. Because we see them struggle with her mistake, as she also has a lot to think and to take with her new found feelings about her situation and what was there with Kelso for her. It made her close the Kelso chapter of her life, and it let her enjoy openly what she has with Hyde. He’s breaking up with her and he has every right to, he is hurt and she didn’t truly respond in a responsable and honest way at the beginning. But after she realizes it’s ridiculous and that’s anyone else in the world she wants and loves as she does Hyde, she has had enough and speaks him mind in spite the fact that he may not care and not take her back.But, he hears her and he sees her not caring about if he says back his feelings too. He admits he loves her by saying this, and even though she lives for making him admit his feelings for her, for Jackie is more important that he has it clear she loves him, and he sees this. When we see them at the dance, they are so damn happy I just kjdnvirngfoejofgnro. I love this episode, I love it with all my heart. This is actually my favorite HJ episode.

Season 5, episode 19: Bring It On Home.Hyde protectiveness of Jackie is something so constant in the show, even the blasphemy of s8 had it’s bit with it (him helping her that one time they got lost in the woods). He finds out she’s been living alone in her enormous and ridiculous house, that her mother abandoned her and it touches everything inside him.A whole new parallel is thrown between them, once more the absent parents parallel becomes deeper and Hyde, this time, protects Jackie like she did in MMH. He gives her home, a safe place to sleep and his arms to wear. It’s beautiful, and the episoe keeps giving on the matter.He is the one who explains to Donna, Jackie’s suppoed best friend, why Jackie acted as she did and why it’s important for him her to have Donna ask her again to go live with her. Jackie needs her and Hyde can no longer give her a place at the Formans. After this, Jackie gets a safe place and man, I love that he is the one who helps her out, even when she doesn’t knows this.

Season 6, episode 3: The Magic Bus.MAN. Hyde is so willing to let it be known he loves Jackie, like he doesn’t care about being all touchy in front of his friends and admiting to her he has missed her and her ridiculous pet names. It’s a sweet thign to see, because it reminds us about how open Hyde actually is with her and how much he does loves her. This episode also show us that they are free of Kelso (which is a shame in season 7, because they just ruined it), he supports them now and, as shown in the episode before, he even tries to help get them together. This after getting together bliss they are both enjoying is just refreshing to see and I love that.

Season 6, episode 7: Christmas.I have actually seen people not liking this episode and It hurts my soul because I actually think it’s pretty good. I love Hyde pretending he doesn’t care about what she wants just to give up at the end because she is so cute and he is so fucking whipped.When she mentions later that she has learned something new about herself, I think his initial reaction it’s just a joke. I think he is actually proud of her, and he is getting rewarded after this anyway, so really. It’s an ultra win situation for him, lol.The scene at the end, with her doing a cheerleader rutine for him it’s jfbfinwienfir, I love it. I love them being playfull. It’s beautiful.

Season 6, episode 18: Do You Think It’s Alright?Hyde is scared Jackie will pressure him into marriage like she did Kelso during season 4. She’s been known as to want the happy life of a married couple and have a family of her own, and he knows this. He also knows that it’s too soon to talk about these things, they are too young and even when in the time the show set it was normal for couples to get married that young, he is more concient than society and, in this case, than Jackie. A part of her needs to be told it will happen with him, mostly because she knows by now he is The One for her and she wishes he would be more open and allow her to know she is it for him, too. But at the end of the episode, after he tries to shit her up from her biggest wishes and desires, he gives in and understands this is important for her.Like many times after, Jackie gets satisfied with just a little of what she really wants. He thinks her beautiful in a wedding dress, which may mean he would like to see her in front of him like this again, in the future. With this, she’s convinced it will happen. And that’s how that damn story line should had ended.

Season 7, episode 14: Street Fighting Man.I cry every time I see this episode. Mostly because I love the way Hyde is written in it. He is being himself and not the idiot that pushed Jackie to break up with him. If he had been still that asshole, I would have liked her to never go back to him because really, what on Earth was that that happened in ‘Winter’? But in this episode, he just wants to talk to her and for things to go back to normal, or some kind of normal.When he realizes the break up is being horrible to her, he stops being an ass and understands maybe he hurt her too deep, maybe it would be good if they could just be. The scene when he sees her crying always breaks my heart. She looks defeated and so affected, and he just– you can hear the sound of his heart breaking all over again. After, when he offers her a ride, I almost died. A part of me really wanted Jackie to say yes, what could had happened if so? But I’m also happy with the small conversation they have. If writers could had keep this characterization, things would had been pretty different.

Season 7, episode 16: On With The Show.Hyde is willing to talk to Jackie and get her back. He wants them back. But ultimately, she is happy about her own independency for the first time in forever. She has always been someone’s daughter and someone’s best friend, and someone’s girlfriend, and for the first time she’s Jackie, the girl on TV, she’s Jackie, the girl who got a chance. Ultimately, for Hyde, Jackie’s happiness as a person is his goal when it comes to her. And if he is not included in the mix, then so be it. He steps aside, lets her grow by her own, even when this could had been the new start they needed. I love that he put once more her happiness over his, it’s just something else.

Season 7, episode 18: Oh, Baby (We Got a Good Thing Goin’).I actually love this episode when it comes to them, it’s such a good one, and also the last one in which they are in character. They go on some kind of double date with the Formans, a couple we have found millions of parallels with HJ and who many fans (included myself) sees them as the original grumpy guy/happy girl couple in the show, more or less how Hyde and Jackie would grow up to be as a couple. When they arrive, it’s obvious this is a place were any man would go nuts. But Hyde sticks with his girl and enjoys the day with her. For what we see, she doesn’t get crazy over him and doesn’t get demanding either. They are both enjoying the fair and having a good time together with something that he loves and is now sharing with her.In delated dialogue, we find out Hyde actually informed of what he wanted to get for his El Camino at the event, and she repeats it happily, because she’s going to help him get it. In a way, they are more domestic than one may though and realize until we see these small moments.Later, he gets her food and gets it exactly like she likes it without her having to tell him how to. He has put attention to her likings and knows she appreciates if he does these things. Finally, my favorite moment, when Kitty asks him why he wants to spend the day with Jackie, he answer so easily “She’s my chick”.Jackie’s stament, “I’m his chick”, it’s incredible cute and intimate. She is an object and Hyde doesn’t see her that way, they are together and the belonging they have on the other isn’t a toxic or sexist thing, is a bond that makes the other’s their home. And It’s beautiful.

I’m sorry this got so long! Hopefully, my partners will like to speak about their too, lol.

[highhyde-blog1]

ok can anyone help with feedback for a fic i’m working on?

it’s jackie/hyde... takes place in 1996. i just need to talk it out with someone who *gets it* (like is a fan of jackie/hyde) to see if i’m nuts

preview under here- lemme know if you’re up for it !!

What Is And What Should Never Be So if you wake up with the sunrise, and all your dreams are still new And happiness is what you need so bad, girl, the answer lies with you

SEPTEMBER 1996

Jackie checked her watch - 7:46 am. Late. She tapped her high heeled foot impatiently, her arms folded across her chest. Jackie Burkhart didn’t wait for anyone, not even her own daughter. She called up the stairs.

“Layla Beth! Get down here right now or I swear to God-”

“I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming.”

In a second, the 15-year-old blew past her, flying down the stairs a hundred miles a minute.

“You know, if you get up the first time I wake you up in the morning instead of ignoring me and falling back to sleep, you won’t have this problem of running late,” Jackie smirked as she grabbed her purse from the kitchen table.

“What fun is being on time?” Layla teased back, grabbing a piece of toast as it popped out of the toaster.

“Layla, did you even brush your hair this morning?” She reached out to try and fix the curled, matted mess atop Layla’s head, but her daughter swatted her hand away.

“Back off, mom.” Layla held her piece of toast between her teeth, tying her hair into what could only be described as a lopsided onion on the top of her head. “And…” she grabbed her mom's wrist, looking at her watch. “7:50! Right on time. Let’s go.”

She bounced towards the door, flinging it open. “C’mon, mom, we’re going to be late.”

Jackie rolled her eyes. “Smartass.”

--

“Okay, are you nervous? Are you ready? Do you have your pager?” Jackie pulled up their car to the front of St. Adelaide High School. Layla sighed.

“I’m as ready as a girl who’s about to be ‘the new kid.’ Again.” She looked at her mom with accusing eyes.

“I know, I know, I’m the bad guy,” Jackie said.

“You’re not the bad guy,” Layla said. “You’re a successful, in-demand, famous talk show host. And I’m proud of you, I really am, but-” she grabbed her mom's hands in hers. “Please - if you could stick it out with one network, one show, just until I graduate from high school…”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Jackie promised. “Now go! You’re going to be late.”

Layla scooted out of the car, pulling the rubber band from her bun in one swift motion, her hair falling around her like a curly waterfall. She looked back at her mom once as she was walking away, giving her a small wave.

Jackie smiled at her daughter’s retreating figure. Layla was such a good person - kind, funny, considerate... just a tad bit snarky - Jackie didn’t know where she got it from. Well, actually, she did. Jackie froze as she felt something catch in her throat.

Sometimes, when Layla was especially snarky - or her hair was especially curly - Jackie thought about him. Layla’s dad. Thinking about the person you had a child with is supposed to be a happy thing - but that’s probably only if you get married and live “happily ever after.” Jackie’s “happily ever after” was Layla: An eight pound baby covered in goo, screaming at the top of her lungs, her hair thick and black. For the last 16 years, it had been just the two of them.

Every once in a while Layla would ask about her dad - who he was, how they met, if Jackie had loved him. Most recently Layla had asked about him when they were unpacking the boxes in their new townhouse a few days earlier. She knew her mom had grown up in Wisconsin, and now they were back - granted, they were living in Milwaukee and not Point Place, but to Layla, everything in Wisconsin was the same. “Cows, cheese, corn fields… I’ve seen it all,” she said. Jackie had answered as best she could, trying to avoid the one thing she knew Layla wanted to ask: If she could she meet him.

“Well, he was a guy…”

“Wow, really? Tell me more.”

“Hey, be nice or I’m not saying a thing.”

“Okay, okay.”

“He was a guy… Who was completely not my type. We hated each other, actually. He was the best friend of my first boyfriend, and-”

“Mom!”

“Oh, please. It wasn’t that bad. I mean, they did fight over me eventually…”

“Mom!”

“What? You’ve seen pictures of me when I was your age. Boys everywhere were begging to date me, throwing themselves at me, showering me with gifts and-”

“Mom.”

“Well anyway, we dated for a while. A long while. And he could never commit. So, we broke up.”

“And that’s it? You just never saw him again?”

“Well… I started dating his other friend.”

“Mom! You were kind of a skank.”

“That was a mistake. But in my defense, it was really hard to get over him, and this friend - he’d always been there for me, loved me, and he felt so safe.”

“And this is the other friend, not the first friend, correct?”

“Al-right. Well, we tried to do the whole ‘just friends’ thing and hang out with the same people, but it didn’t work. He married a stripper, actually, and that’s really what made me feel like I needed to be with someone safe-”

“What?”

“...I should not be telling you this story.”

A honk from behind her broke Jackie’s focus. She quickly put the car in drive and took off, leaving her unfinished thoughts behind her.

OK so i have like 5,000 words of a “first chapter” done but i’m not sure if i should focus it on jackie/layla + hyde only (like their stories) or open it up to more secondary characters and split the story like adults and kids. adults being jackie/hyde/eric/donna, and kids being layla/&co. 

thoughts

or is it trash and i should just not