#and because it's sort of just fine-tuning the details of this big thing

[birdmenmanga]

the pacing of birdmen... -_-

[messylustt]

Helloo, I came up with an idea of Ethan Landry X stepmom!Reader. It's pretty kinky, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I wish you a fantastic day ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Also..Love your work so muchhhh.

not uncomfortable at all sweetheart x i love forbidden tropes.

౨ৎ ‧˚ 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧-𝐭𝐨-𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐦𝐨𝐦 (𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐲) : scream

stepcest, kinda dub con, kinda big age-gap (ethan is 19 in this, so legal), people pleaser reader, manipulation, faint touch on bailey x reader (not detailed), finger in mouth (I do this a lot); cheating

You heard your fiancé call from your shared bedroom, asking where he had left his ties.

"The second draw in the closet, hon!" You call back as you drop the grocery bags and keys on the kitchen bench.

Ethan watches from the couch, a scowl on his face upon hearing the pet name falling from your lips. One would think he's just disgusted to hear his dad and almost mum being affectionate. But that's not the case at all.

When Ethan had first met you he was surprised to see how young you were. He had thought you were far too young for his dad, but that could also be clued up to the fact that he found you pretty. Beautiful in fact. And as he had let his gaze travel, gulping, he realised how fucked he was if a ring found it's way onto your finger.

And that's exactly what happened. His dad had proposed, and the wedding was scheduled, causing his response to every sweet thing you said to him to be sour and rude.

You thought Ethan didn't like you. You wanted to make an effort without seeming to intrusive. Quinn seemed to be fine with you, saying how she's glad that her dad has found someone.

Bailey walked out, tightening his tie. He gave you a passing smile before rushing out the door. The police firm had some sort of dinner, where Bailey was determined to make a good impression on his boss.

Ethan continued to watch you as his dad left, leaving you take out the grocceries alone. Ethan really couldn't believe that his dad had somehow scored you. He was old, and you were in all honesty closer to Ethan's age, a much more appropriate suitor for him.

Ethan always kept you at arms length as your close proximity left him on edge to act. There were many instances where Ethan could have touched you. Innocent touches that would send his hand into his boxers when the sun was gone. Your name just a mere whimper from his lips as his head hit back against his headboard. Even moments in public, when his dad was just in the next room, working, Ethan could have let his hand wander when you both sat on the couch.

"Hey, Ethan. Any preference for dinner?" You called to Ethan, placing random food items into the fridge and cupboard.

You always spoke so sweetly to him. Ethan knew how much you wanted him to like you. But as a stepson should like his stepmum. Nothing more. And that set the scowl back onto Ethan's face.

"I don't really care." He dismissed, turning to face the tv, clicking at the remote as he scanned channels. But he barely paid attention to the show, catching your melodious voice hum a quiet tune.

Ethan wanted you to shut up, because your sweet tasting voice was making his head spin with thoughts no son should be thinking. He was a good son. He was. But when he glanced behind him at the kitchen as you rolled your sleeves up, revealing even more skin, his resolve began to break.

But then you paused, glancing over at Ethan, who quickly busy's himself with the show, acting as though he'd never been eyeing you. "Do you mind if we just get take out? Since your dad is out all night, and Quinn is with a friend."

Ethan spared you glance, trying to cool the heat threating to spill from his gaze, as he nodded. You walk over to him, resting your hands behind him against the couch. Ethan stiffens, smelling your signature perfume. He shifts by the cushions. "You don't mind?" You ask softly.

Ethan glances up at you, his breath hitching, when he meets your gentle, almost tender gaze. "Uh, yeah. No, that's fine." He quickly says, turning back to face the tv.

"Great." You sigh, landing beside him on the couch, as you bring your phone out to call the nearby pizza place.

Ethan's gaze instantly goes to your bare legs, your shorts riding up past mid thigh. If he just tilted his head slightly, he could probably see your panties—

He coughs, placing a pillow over his lap, as he tries to get distracted by the show.

You then tap his shoulder, as you whisper in his ear, asking what pizza he'd like. Ethan had to quickly answer, saying a simple pepperoni, his mind too hazy to come up with anything more detailed.

Soon you're relaxed beside him on the couch, intently watching the show displayed on the screen. It's silent besides the series dialogue and your slow breathing. Ethan can't help but focus in on the latter, catching onto the way it hitches when something scary or surprising happened on screen.

Ethan had had to keep the pillow against his now prominent bulge. He couldn't let you see. But as you gradually drew closer to him, looking away with a gasp when a monster would jump out, screaming through the tv, Ethan slowly grew to want you to notice. Maybe you'd help him. But he knew that that was wishful thinking. You were with his dad, his soon to be stepmom. Ethan clenched his jaw.

"God, Ethan." You gasp. "How can you watch this stuff so calmly?" You ask, eyes wide as you stare at the screen. Your legs had curled up to your body, your chest heaving up and down quickly.

Then your hand flies out to grab Ethan's arm, your eyes shutting tight at a disgusting view of someone getting eaten alive. Ethan glanced down at your tight grip, a small smile slowly edging his lips.

He can't help but lean closer to you, whispering. "I didn't think you were such a pussy."

You open your eyes to meet Ethan's gaze. You go to retract your hand, but Ethan quickly grabs it, keeping it pressed to his body. "I wouldn't want my soon to be stepmom to hate me, for not giving her comfort when she's scared." He mocks out.

You scoff. "It's you who hates me." You say, letting Ethan rub his thumb over the skin of your hand, as you slightly jump when a monster again cries on screen.

"'Hate's' a bit harsh." Ethan says, liking the way you grip his hand tighter.

"But it's true." You shift your gaze back to him. "You don't really like me do you?" There was a sense of sadness in your voice. You really wanted everyone to feel comfortable with your new role. Especially Bailey's children.

Ethan tilts his head. A devious, very wrong plan 'light bulbs' over his head. He shouldn't want to execute it, but then you shuffle closer to him, trying to brush off your fear as you getting more comfrtable. You were desperate for the family to like you. And Ethan was going to use that to his advantage.

Ethan interlaces your hands, letting them drop to his lap, keeping you close if you chose to move away. "How 'bout I make you a deal."

You glance at him, brows furrowed. You hadn't paid too much attention to your hands being interwined because your heart was already racing from the film. "Hm?"

Ethan grins. The first smile you'd seen from him. "If you can make it through a horror film of my choosing, I'll be nicer to you."

You nibble your lip in thought. "But I don't expect you to be totally nice to me. I just want you to be comfortable—"

"I'll be comfortable with you if you make it through the entire movie." Ethan cuts in, shifting slightly closer to you.

You pause, taking a breath to prepare yourself. "Alright. Deal." You smile.

Ethan's grin widens as he grabs the remote, choosing the movie. He chose the scariest most disturbing one he knew, knowing you'd freak out and touch him again. He wanted to be able to comfort you without it seeming out of place.

The movie begins. And not even 10 minutes in your tucking you feet under a pillow, shifting closer to a satisfied Ethan. Ethan manages to lift his arm over the back of the couch, directely behind your body. You jump, placing your and over your eyes.

"No, no." Ethan says, grabbing your wrist and pulling your hand away. "You have to actually watch it."

"But, it's disgusting." You grimace. Ethan keeps his grip on your wrist, keeping your hand by his lap.

"You can always back out. But that means I won't like you being in this house." Ethan warns with a shrug.

A determined expression covers your face as you sit straighter, which resulted in your thigh being pressed against his own. Ethan finally lets his arm slip around your shoulder, just as a particually shocking jump scare makes you press much more into Ethan's side.

He chuckles, making you mutter a quiet 'shut up'. With your gaze wide on the screen, Ethan gets the chance to stare at you, your face close.

As the movie progresses cute expressions of fear and disgust have appeared on your face. And Ethan's hand has started to draw closer and closer to the collar of your loose shirt. Ethan had quickly realised that you weren't wearing a bra.

Screams from the tv fill the room but all Ethan can focus on is the way your chest heaves up and down. Then as if his hand has a mind of it's own, his fingers slowly draw down the collar of your shirt, his fingers grazing your skin.

At first you barely notice, but then you feel Ethan's hand slipping inside your shirt, grazing his fingers over your nipple. Your eyes grow wide as your body tenses. You hear a soft groan come from Ethan as he rubs over your nipple with much more intent.

"Ethan—" You say, turning to glance at him to see he's already staring at you with a hooded gaze, filled with lust. You grab his wrist, attempting to pull his hand out of your shirt, staying gentle so as not to offend him. "I'm sorry." You say trying to keep the tension light. "I shouldn't have sat so close."

You go to move away, but Ethan pulls you back by his arm around your shoulder, now covering part of your neck. He can't resist as your neck nears, his lips beginning to drag across the tender skin.

"Ethan, I shouldn't be this close." You quickly say, placing your hand against his chest. "I know you're probably just turned on b-by the chick on screen." You gulp out.

Ethan shakes his head, his tongue now licking at your neck, his eyes fluttering shut. His hand sinks back into your shirt, now grabbing your tit, beginning to massage it. Your breathing quickens because the rough feel of his large hand is making a shiver run down your spine. "Please...Ethan. We can't."

"Didn't you say you wanted me to like you?" Ethan asks, nipping at the skin of your neck.

"Yes. But not like this. You know not like this." You say, hating the feeling of your core heating up.

"No, no. You want me to like you." Ethan says, taking his hand out of your shirt, before he swiftly grabs your thigh, pulling you around so that your straddling him. The pillow covering his hard on now tossed onto floor. "This is the only way I will."

Then before you can say another word Ethan's lips are smashing onto yours, eagerly pulling you closer, so that his bulge presses against your clothed pussy. You gasp through the kiss as you hear Ethan whimper. He kisses you with a built-up passion that you weren't prepared for. There's a moment where you forget about your already committed relationship, but when Ethan's lips return to your neck, littering kisses along your jaw, you remember. "Wait, Ethan...we really can't."

"Then stop me." Ethan mutters, as he hurriedly removes your shirt, quickly going back to kissing you. Your attempts are futile because the way his kisses are making your head spin, and the way his hard on has begun to grind into you, you can't help but let your strength drift away.

You manage to glance at the door a worried expression present. "Don't worry, no one's coming home." Ethan consoles, his licks and kisses reaching your perky nipple. You choke a gasp when Ethan wraps his lips around one, carefully sucking.

"Shit— Ethan." You breath, your back arching on its own, resulting in your hips moving against his bulge. Ethan's stuttering breath hits your tit. You stop, realising what you did.

"God, no— please don't stop." Ethan begs, grabbing your hips and trying to move you over him again.

"But Ethan— god." You gulp as the friction makes your pussy weep. "You've never— it's your first...you need to find a girl your age." You manage.

Ethan kitten licks your nipple, shaking his head. "No better person than my stepmom." He husks out.

That shouldn't have made your body shudder but it did. Ethan grinds up into you, moving your hips against him as little moans fall from his lips. "You feel so good..." He pants, watching your boobs slightly bounce at the movement.

"You know how to please a guy." Ethan continues, running his hands up and down your sides. "And I barely know how to jerk off well without thinking of you." He confessed. "Show me...I want you to show me how you please my dad. I bet he doesn't even make you cum." Then he's pulling you back down for a kiss, a grin of Ethan's only managing to break it.

At the mention of Ethan's dad, you manage to place your hands on his chest, pushing him back into the couch. Ethan stares at you, lips swollen, and realises that you may need some more convincing.

"He won't find out. Ever. I can promise that." Ethan says, keeping his hands wrapped around your body.

"But I'm practically your stepmom..." You say, managing to get off Ethan's lap.

"Fine." Ethan sighs. He watches you stand, trying to straighten out your modesty by the brushes over your clothes. "You wouldn't mind if I continue...right?"

Your brows furrow despite everything. But then your face smooths out in shocked realisation as Ethan unzips his pants, sticking his hand into his boxers, all while holding your gaze. "Ethan..."

"I'm just so turned on right now, y/n." He says, faking innocence. "I can't help but—" His mouth opens in pleasure as he begins to stroke his cock, having brought it out for your shameful eyes to see. "It's your fault." Wet noises fill the room, the tv only rolling credits now. "And I won't forgive you."

Ethan's dark eyes are practically oozing with lust as he pumps himself, letting his gaze wander down your frozen body. Your legs are pressed together in some lame form of relief, because your pussy is pulsing.

"I don't like you in this house." Ethan contines, before spitting in his hand to make his strokes more fluid. "I don't like you with my dad— fuck." His hips slightly buck up into his palm. "Do you really like him? You don't do you?" Ethan lets his head hang back, as he bites his lip.

"Because why would a gorgeous young woman like you get with someone like my dad?" He continues to stroke himself, and in all honesty you should be walking away, telling Ethan how inappropriate this is. But all you can do is stand and stare and Ethan continues to use that to his advantage.

"Yeah." He hums, a soft chuckle following. "I bet your dying to feel young hands touching you." He glances down at your thighs pressed together. "I'd touch you." He breathes. "Everywhere, especially between your legs. I mean look at you." He meets your gaze and you gulp.

"Your body is begging to be touched." Ethan is now shamelessly thrusting into his hand. "Let me touch you." He begs, his chest heaving up and down.

He meets your hesitant gaze, though he can spot the lust hidden behind. "If not, then at least give me something to help with this.” He gestures to his rock hard cock with his head. “Even just those tasty tits."

You had covered your chest with your shirt, holding it tightly to you chest. Your mind has been battling with itself, and soon the lustful side wins. You step a fraction closer, making Ethan's eyes widen with excitement.

"You just want some help...right?" You slowly ask, to which Ethan nods, his breathing picking up. You sit beside him on the couch, as you hand slowly reaches out, grazing over the pre-cum that still covers the tip of his cock. Ethan's hips jolt as his breathing stutters.

"I'll just help you cum. That's all you want...right?" You ask, meeting his gaze.

Ethan quickly nods, his hand tightening around a cushion, as he watches you spit into your hand. You had let your shirt go, letting Ethan see your breasts. Ethan's mouth opens in pleasure as you begin to stroke him, little whimpers and whines leaving his lips. "Oh—god—" He gulps out, completely dazed.

"Why do you think of me when you jerk off? Why not that girl I've seen come over?" You ask, slightly quickening your pace.

Ethan's eye's roll for a moment before he tries to answer. "Because she isn't— shit— she doesn't look like you. Or sound like you."

"What do I sound like?" You ask, situating yourself more comfortably on the couch.

"You sound like— sound like heaven."

You chuckle. "That's very sweet."

Ethan's hips thrust up into your palm. "I just want to kiss you when you hum random tunes." He confesses. "Want to touch you, because your voice makes my cock— oh god."

"My voice?" You ask, facing him a little more, as Ethan's eyes reach your breasts, bouncing a fraction from the shift.

He groans. "Can I touch you?" He asks desperately.

"I'm only helping you—"

Ethan quickly cuts in. "This will help me...oh god, this will help. Please let me touch you— I-i'll cum quicker if I can touch you."

"…alright—"

Before you manage to say more Ethan's hand is flying out to grab one of your tits, massaging it, as his thumb rubs over your nipple. "Mm, you feel so good...so good." You pump him quicker. "I love your nipples. S-so pretty." He rolls one of your nipples between his fingers.

"Are you close, sweetie?" You ask. The pet name makes Ethan thrust harder into your palm.

"Oh, god, oh god." He breathes, his hand moving up your neck to your lips, rubbing along the bottom one. He then sinks his finger past your lips. The feel of your wet mouth makes Ethan whimper pathetically.

"That wasn't an answer." You slightly tease out, as you speak slightly muffled from his finger, which had begun to explore your mouth, running over your tongue.

"Yeah. I'm close. I'm so close— fuck. You’re so pretty." He half prasies half pleads, as his hip thrusts get sloppier.

When he orgasms, his body wracking with pleasure, he spills over his stomach and your hand, as moans and whines leave his lips. He's panting, head leant back against the couch.

With one final stroke you let him go. Ethan slightly whines at the loss of contact even if any more touching would be considered overstimulation. He met your gaze, before glancing down at your tightly pressed thighs. His hand drops from your mouth, bringing your spit down to rub across your thigh.

You quickly grab his hand, keeping it from wandering. Ethan meets your gaze to see that your bringing your other hand up to suck his orgasm off.

Ethan's mouth is open, chest still heaving. He tries to move past your grip, desperately wanting to touch you.

"Ethan."

"I want to touch you." His tone is harsher than initially intended.

You shake your head, the tiniest of smiles edging your lips. "I was only going to help you."

Ethan goes to speak, but you quickly cut in. "And specifically your cock." You whisper, before getting off the couch, the ding of the doorbell breaking the heavy breaths.

You round the couch, placing your shirt back over your head. Ethan watches you, as you pause, slightly leaning over the back of the couch, by Ethan's head, as he gazes up at you.

“That’ll be the pizza.” You say, before leaning closer. “And I finished the movie.” You gesture to the frozen screen of the finished film before heading towards the door, leaving Ethan panting and even more lustful than before.

© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.

[pigeontheoneandonly]

Storm Warning

Read on AO3

David Anderson barely glanced up as the shadow of an asari fell across the bar.  Asari crests formed a distinctive silhouette, even distorted by the poor lighting, and there was only one asari likely to come looking for him just now.

Menea didn’t request an invitation. Instead, she sat down and helped herself to his beer.  “To be frank, I expected I’d find you drowning in harder stuff.”

He grunted. The day’s events—hell, the month’s events—hadn’t left him in the mood for talk.

But Menea rarely needed any assistance to hold together a conversation.  “Not that I’m mourning your restraint.  At least you should be coherent.”

Events had left him short of patience, too.  With an edge, he said, “What can I do for you, Spectre D’Sorn?”

“Don’t fret. I’m not here to relive your humiliation. I’m here about a plan.”

Anderson snorted. “What plan?  Even your influence with the Council won’t outweigh failing my spectre evaluation to the tune of losing an entire colony.”

“One town. Don’t be dramatic.”  A hint of amusement crept in.  

He looked at her for the first time.  “This isn’t funny.”

“No, it’s not,” she said, switching to English as if to underline her point.  “Saren is a problem.”

“Don’t get me started.”  Actually, a big part of Anderson wanted nothing more than to get started.

She was pure exasperation. “I mean for the galaxy. The Council.”  Then, “No offense.”

That broke through his fog of morose.  “Now I am confused.”

“A few of us are talking about it.”  Meaning spectres.  “Quietly.” As if it could be discussed any other way, Saren being who he was, a spectre’s spectre, and a respected turian to boot.  

She fidgeted with the pint.  Probably figuring out what she could say openly, in this venue.  “Even for Saren, this was wild.  I have…concerns.”  

“Blinding hatred will make a man do strange things.”

“Maybe.” Doubtful.  “This was more than that.  Your presence meant he got to pin the mess on you.  But he couldn’t certain it would stick, not certain.  And the one thing Saren Arterius would never risk is his own reputation.  There’s some deeper motive.”

“What?”

She drank.  “That’s what’s keeping me up nights.”

“I’m not in a position to assist,” he said, shortly.  “Saren saw to that.”

“He did.” And there was an oddness to her tone, a piece falling into place.  “He eliminated the one sort of candidate not inclined to trust him on strength of title or reputation alone, because humans didn’t grow up enmeshed in galactic culture. Isn’t that perfect.”

It hadn’t struck him until then.  Slowly, he turned it over in his mind.  “Saren is a lot of things.  But I can’t picture him a…”

Traitor hung unspoken on the air.  Menea heard it just fine.  “Is there another human candidate?”

Anderson’s subconscious pushed forward an image, incongruous with the conversation—an eleven-year-old girl, absolutely incorrigible, with more gumption than half the Alliance marines, and currently ensconced in the limited family quarters aboard the Tai Shan.  It left him disconcerted.  

Menea fixed on his expression, misreading.  “There is someone.”

He shook it off, and shook his head.  Took back the beer and sipped.  “I can give you names, but it won’t help.  What you need now to get past the Council is a model soldier.  Perfect record.  No mistakes. No misjudgments.  Not even a whisper of insubordination or independent thought.  And if that soldier exists and if we find them, all that means is they won’t be capable of looking outside the box.”

“Which is a baseline requirement for special tactics.” She sighed.  

They sat in that defeated silence for several moments.  Then he cocked his head.  “Why do you believe me?  Most of my own command barely buys my story.  You never questioned it?”

She took a long drink, taking her time.  At length, she said, “I’ve examined your record in excruciating detail.  We’ve spoken to your skills, your personal and professional history, your mindset, your ethics, many times—officially and otherwise.  I’d like to think I’ve taken the measure of you.”

Menea rolled the glass between her palms.  “And you have integrity.  Maybe too much for us.  You’d lie to save your life, you’d lie to defend others, but over a matter of politics? No.  No, you’re not that sort of liar.”

“Saren is?” he asked on a hunch.

She drained the pint and set it down with a click, shoving back from the bar.  “Something’s not right.  Stay in touch.”

Then as she made to go, he said, “Thank you.”

Her gaze was very sober.  “Thank me when we win.  A storm’s coming, Anderson.  Attend to it because not enough of us will.”

And then like a shadow, she was gone.  

[freaky-flawless]

For the art thing, maybe take a crack at the werecat twins? Purrsephone and Meowlody are so underrated.

So true beastie

Here they are!

I was working on these in order of when they were received, but then I got this one and dropped everything I was doing. Idk why, but I love these two so much. I love how they wear the same thing, but with subtle differences to show bits of their individual personalities. It's a shame they were never expanded upon, so I'll take it upon myself to do so!

Another read more because this ended up being long.

The two of them are each other's best friends, as well as Toralei's and the three of them are extremely protective of one another. The twins don't talk a lot, and the part of reason for this is that they were born partially deaf. Besides that they are not easily trusting, and as such Toralei acts as their ears and voices. While it does annoy them when monsters mix them up, they will play up the creepy twin act by doing things like moving and talking in perfect unison, and pretending to telepathically communicate to each other.

They are both just as mischievous and trouble seeking as Toralei, though Toralei is typically the "face" of their schemes. However, Meowlody and Purrsephone are the ones to fine tune the details of their pranks while Toralei is the one to execute them. While they love the mayhem they create together, the twins are annoyed that the entire student body seems to see them as Toralei's cronies, something Toralei herself perpetuates. Its a big point of contention between them, but there's little that could break their bond

Meowlody is the older of the two, and the craftier one. She gets surprisingly good grades, and gets a kick out of starting interpersonal drama among her school mates. She has a way of finding out her peers juicy secrets, and she'll often send in anonymous tips to Spectra's blog in the hopes they'll spread. Spectra, not being one to check their validity often will take them at face value and post about them. Whenever another monster asks her how she got that information she'll just shrug and say its a secret. The two develop a weird sort of friendship, despite Spectra not knowing who her anonymous informant is.

Purrsephone is more outgoing than her sister, and she gets a kick out of causing pure chaos. Pranks that will disrupt the whole school are her favorite. Her love for chaos also manifests in a love for parties, and she'll often drag Meowlody and Toralei out to them, especially if Holt Hyde is gonna be there. Purrsephone has a killer crush on Holt, but given that he's not around much, she never gets the chance to act on it. As such she has an intense dislike for anyone else who seems to have romantic feelings for him, past of present. (She is... not fond of Frankie to say the least) This also leads to her harassing Jackson by playing obnoxious music around him to summon Holt, which greatly disrupts both of their schedules.

Overall the entire student body is quite wary of them, which is exactly how they want it to be.

Bonus Toralei because I wanted to redraw her, and also see how the three of them looked together.

[flamingplay]

Interview: Everything Everything’s Jonathan Higgs on AI, Education, & New LP ‘Mountainhead’

by Eric Schuster

Atwood Magazine: Each album you all release has a unique style and theme. I read that Mountainhead draws from an allegory regarding “an alternate society whose existence is dedicated to endlessly growing a mountain by digging deeper at its foot — all in pursuit of a mythical mirror that sits atop its peak while avoiding a massive golden snake that lives in the pit below.” What are some of your favorite sci-fi films or novels?

Jonathan Higgs: Definitely Predator. Definitely Terminator. I like any sort of sci-fi slasher genre like that, like Alien where there’s people being picked off by a monster. It’s not very close to what I’ve written though, for this album. Yeah, I think I was looking for something that was simple enough to say in one sentence, but that could have a huge amount of different meanings if you wanted it to. I guess it would be something like, I don’t even know. It’s way too simple for a film. I think it would have to develop a hell of a lot more, but I think in terms of music, it’s sort of enough to hang everything off without it getting too complex and too bogged down with these rules of the world. It was more like, no, there’s just this big one, big idea and everything is sort of under the shadow of that rather than getting too conceptual kind of puts me off if particularly if albums get too wrapped up in detail and all that stuff. It’s fine for films or novels, it’s essential. But I think when you are making something like an album, it needs to be, the songs need to live without that knowledge. They need to be able to be good by themselves

That’s why it has such a simple setup, because I think anything, I think you can go a bit further, but I want you to keep it really monolithic and simple.

You tackle some big issues in Mountainhead, like the unsustainability of unlimited growth and income inequality and Raw Data Feel tackled the problems associated with AI. Do you see AI helping or exacerbating these issues?

Jonathan Higgs: I think it’ll help a little bit. I don’t see why it would make things worse. It’ll probably be some big tech advances that it’ll help speed up things like sustainability is the big one that everyone’s trying to do, so I don’t see how that could make things worse, but it does, of course, rely on some kind of thing. They keep mining for chips, right? I can’t remember. But there is quite a big environmental impact of making the brains of AI and obviously we’ve seen with crypto what sort of length people will go to improve their computing power and how much energy that uses, et cetera, et cetera. But no, I think it’s probably going to help bring about some of the stuff that we need to happen a bit more quickly, like renewable, wherever that may be. Some kind of advancement will probably occur thanks to ai, but it’s not just a one solution type thing. It’s more like it just looks through the options much more quickly. That’s kind of how I feel about it.

You all are very academic and methodical in your approach to writing music and creating art. Do you have any artists that you are currently listening to that are also pushing the boundaries of music?

Jonathan Higgs: I’m more in touch with what some visual people are doing. There’s this guy called Umami who makes these amazing short videos and he’s made this big long series of them and he does do music in it as well, but it’s primarily like an animation project, and I follow a lot of 3D horror guys. I mean, that’s not music either, really. And I guess musically, oh man, this year has been thin on the ground. It’s only a month in, it’s only a few weeks in. I don’t know. I’m not really tuned into anything new at the moment. I guess it’s because I’m working on other projects, I’m just trying to clear my head of musical stuff at the moment, so I can’t suggest anything.

Your website Edexhell mocked the exam quality that you were issued in school, what do you think of the current state of education?

Jonathan Higgs: I have no idea, is the truth. I don’t have any connection to people of that age. Well, my brother’s kids I guess are teenagers, but it’s Scotland and things tend to be better up there anyway. I don’t actually know. Actually, just about an hour ago I read a report saying that girls are doing better than boys at every age from primary up to uni. And that made me ponder for a moment. I dunno if that’s a problem with education, but there’s definitely something going on there, which is pretty odd. But also my mom, she’s retired now, but she was a teacher and teachers used to get it in the neck so much when I was growing up that I kind of made a soft promise to myself never to diss the education. Well, teachers in particular, I think it’s generally the same as it was. I don’t know, is the truth. I’m not involved.

Did you all see the movie Everything Everything and if so what did you think? How do you feel that they co-opted your name?

Jonathan Higgs: No, we didn’t see it. We were not very pleased with that, to be honest. It meant that 99% of Google searches for us just end up with that. Nothing against the film, but it can fuck off.

What job do you think you would have if you were not a musician?

Jonathan Higgs: I’d be in movies. I think I’d be making them, not in them. I’d be somewhere along the creative line, hopefully directing, but who knows? I could happily do that now. I do that now. I’ve directed, most of our music videos have been by me, so yeah, I enjoy that hugely.

Do you have any favorite directors?

Jonathan Higgs: Yeah, well, there’s a lot of good ones at the moment, aren’t there? I really liked Robert Eggers. I thought The Northman was brilliant. I know it was a bit silly, but I absolutely loved it. I just saw Poor Things. I thought that was pretty good. I think it’s actually a pretty great time for film at the moment. This year’s last year’s Oscar bait sort of, well, not Oscar bait, but just the things that are about to get awards in about a month and lots of really great stuff. I thought Anatomy of a Fall was amazing. I’ll always watch whatever Ridley s Scott’s up to. Yeah, I prefer, I get more excited, not prefer, but I get more excited about movies than albums recently just because I’m not, I feel like I’m so in bed with music that it’s a bit like work sometimes and movies is a bit more like I can be a fan rather than somebody who’s involved.

You mentioned that the mirror at the top of Mountainhead represents the fact that even if “you’ve got it all, what have you really got?” What is your favorite material item that you own and why?

Jonathan Higgs: Oh, my PC, no question. I’ve had a PC since I was in middle school, and then there was a long period where I didn’t have one and then I got one again and I was like, fuck, why did I have that period in my life without one? It’s the best tool a human has ever created, easily outside of the stick. It’s brilliant. I absolutely love it for creating. The power I have as one person now compared to when I was a kid on a computer is just extraordinary. The things I can make, the level of quality that you can make now the consumer can make is astounding.

This album deals with what it means to be a “human,” which is something that has been explored for centuries but has gotten harder to define as technology has infiltrated our everyday lives. What do you think are the best ways to connect with other people?

Jonathan Higgs: Sitting round a fire, the oldest one, it’s always being the best one, but if you can’t do that, then face-to-Face Place with breathable air is probably the next best thing. And obviously you can’t always do that, but doing what we’re doing now is okay.

A lot of songwriters seem to slow down as their careers progress, but you all are as prolific as ever, perhaps even more so now. Where do you find the creative energy (and literal energy) to keep creating such thought-provoking and high-intensity albums?

Jonathan Higgs: Well, I don’t have kids, so I’ve got all the energy I ever had, and a lot of my job is sitting down, so to be honest, I could use up more of my energy. In fact, a lot of my songs are about the fact that I don’t use my energy, don’t use my body. So I’ve never had a problem with that. We don’t really get, well, I don’t really get drained of juice because I don’t think making an album is very difficult. Really. We’ve done it seven times and making another one doesn’t sound difficult either. Making a good album is quite hard though.

You said it's not very physical, but that music video for Cold Reactor, you guys are out there in the cold and that looked pretty physical.

Jonathan Higgs: Well, that was a big day. We actually made five music videos that day.

Oh my god.

Jonathan Higgs: Yeah, we did all the whole album’s worth in one day, and there was a big storm that was coming into the Slate Mine, where we were. So that had a bit of a hard limit on it in terms of when we could be there. We were about to die, so that made it kind of fun.

Manchester is a modestly sized city in comparison to many other major cities in the world, yet some of the biggest and best bands of the last half-century have formed there. What do you think it is about Manchester that makes it such a hot-spot for artists?

Jonathan Higgs: It rains all the time. There’s lots and lots of venues that are good, and I think there’s good unis, so there’s good students starting bands, but there’s also this culture of music that’s already, what, forty years old, and I think people go there with the intention of being involved in music, whereas you wouldn’t get that in a lot of cities. I mean, I’m one of those people. I’m not really from Manchester, and I went there to start a band. I knew that was a place where bands could exist. It’s not like a fantastical idea that you might start a band, whereas there’s plenty of places you can go and no one will join your band. Manchester’s always been good for that. I think it self perpetuates really. Now we’ve got this culture and we’ve got this history. Then it generates more good bands.

You all have accomplished a ton in your Manchester is a modestly sized city in comparison to many other major cities in the world, yet some of the biggest and best bands of the last half-century have formed there. What do you think it is about Manchester that makes it such a hot-spot for artists?

Jonathan Higgins: It rains all the time. There’s lots and lots of venues that are good, and I think there’s good unis, so there’s good students starting bands, but there’s also this culture of music that’s already, what, forty years old, and I think people go there with the intention of being involved in music, whereas you wouldn’t get that in a lot of cities. I mean, I’m one of those people. I’m not really from Manchester, and I went there to start a band. I knew that was a place where bands could exist. It’s not like a fantastical idea that you might start a band, whereas there’s plenty of places you can go and no one will join your band. Manchester’s always been good for that. I think it self perpetuates really. Now we’ve got this culture and we’ve got this history. Then it generates more good bands.

You all have accomplished a ton in your tenure as a group. Is there anything you still hope to accomplish in your musical career?

Jonathan Higgs: Career? Oh yeah, definitely. We want a number one album. We want to headline Glastonbury Asbury, all the things that a band could ever want. I feel like we’ve achieved 1% of it, 8% of it. So yeah, you name it. I’d love to have a whole new chapter of the band.

[enbyleighlines]

Apples and Oranges

(A short drabble on Ike/Soren and Ike/Ranulf. It gets a little spicy, so read at your own risk!)

There was no use comparing Ike’s feelings for Soren with his feelings for Ranulf. He loved them both equally, though his relationship with each lover was distinctly different.

Ike’s love for Soren was heavy, like a chunk of rock pressing down on his chest.

Soren was his closest confidant, his oldest friend, the man he trusted most in the world. It seemed that fate itself had tied them together. Soren owed his life to Ike, and though he had repaid that debt several times over, Ike knew that Soren would never be fully satisfied. No, Soren would be at his side until the day he took his last breath, and Ike didn’t want it any other way.

Soren was a moody one, withdrawn and contemplative. Ike didn’t think that he would ever comprehend the enormity of pain Soren carried in his heart, causing him to lash out like an animal caught in a bear trap whenever someone attempted to befriend him. The trauma of his past was something he might never fully shed.

But Ike accepted that, as he accepted all of Soren. When the burden became too much to bear, Ike would bear it for him, would be the one to hold him together when Soren seemed on the verge of falling apart.

Soren needed him.

And that was just fine, because Ike needed that, needed that grounding sense of obligation. He had always been compelled to help others. Soren affectionately referred to it as his hero’s complex. Having Soren depend on him settled something in Ike, kept him rooted to himself. There was no way to describe it. That was just how it was, as if they had been crafted by some higher power for one another.

And Ike needed Soren, too. Soren needed Ike like animals need shelter, a place of safety to which he could retreat when his thoughts became too stormy. But Ike needed Soren like a traveler needs a map, someone to explain things in a way he understood. He depended on Soren’s attention to detail, his ability to juggle multiple tasks without losing his train of thought, to keep Ike’s life organized. Ike was a man of action, of seeing the big picture. But in order to achieve his goals, he needed Soren to handle the details, and handle them he did.

Their love was intense, but also as innate as Ike’s own body. He couldn’t imagine life without Soren. At times, it felt strange to think that they inhabited separate bodies, as if they were two halves of a whole.

Perhaps that was why Ike was addicted to Soren’s touch. Ike had never craved physical affection before, but since their embrace that fateful night at the Tower of the Guidance, Ike suddenly couldn’t live without it. And it wasn’t about sex, not really. Rather, it seemed as though there were a magnetic force pulling them together. Just getting to hold Soren in his arms every night was enough to satisfy Ike’s desire, making it more bearable to part the following morning.

Ike’s interest in sex was generally perfectly neutral. He accepted that it was a natural part of life, and he was as happy to have it as he was to forgo it.

When they did make love, though, it was equally as intense. They got hopelessly entangled in each other, desperate to have as much skin to skin contact as possible. Ike was never as half as interested in his own pleasure than he was on Soren’s, and he knew Soren felt the same. They took turns delighting in the act of servicing each other, drawing out the moment for as long as they could, worshipping each other as well as two atheists could. Every gasp of Ike’s name on Soren’s lips was a prayer. And every bruise Ike sucked into Soren’s skin was a token of his devotion.

In contrast, Ike’s love for Ranulf was light and airy, like the tune of a harp being carried by the breeze.

Ever since they first met, there had been a spark, like a thousand tiny bolts of lightning dancing over Ike’s skin. When Ranulf was around, Ike felt out of breath, giggly, the way crushes were described in the sorts of books Mist liked to read. It should have been embarrassing. Yet Ike, who before had been a great skeptic of romance, found it impossible to think rationally around Ranulf. His thoughts took on a hazy quality, like something out of a dream.

Unconsciously, Ike’s eyes tracked Ranulf, fascinated with the man’s lithe form, the muscle in his arms and shoulders contrasting so nicely with the shapely dip of his waist. He moved like a dancer, strong yet graceful. It was bewitching, and Ike struggled not to stare at Ranulf from afar, aware that his feline friend was too perceptive not to notice.

Ike wanted him. And luckily, Ranulf wanted him back.

Whenever Ranulf flirted with him, turning that coquettish smile on him, Ike tingled all over. It was his first crush, and he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Even after they became lovers, Ike’s infatuation never completely disappeared. It became easier to manage, certainly, but Ike still experienced that same flutter in his heart whenever Ranulf was near. No matter how many years passed, Ranulf kept Ike feeling like a besotted schoolboy. All it took was a little lop-sided smile, or an endearment whispered into his ear, and Ike was falling in love all over again.

Ranulf didn’t need him, not like Soren. He didn’t need anyone. He was too independent for that, like a street cat that refuses to be domesticated. But Ike didn’t mind. He had chosen Ranulf, and Ranulf had chosen him, and there was something equally as magical about that.

It was so easy to love Ranulf. He was bright and cheerful, and he made Ike laugh harder than anyone had ever made him laugh before. And behind the jokes and flirtations was a surprisingly sensitive man. Ranulf was a person who had keen insight on the thoughts and feelings of others, and this empathy was matched with the strength of his compassion. He cared deeply for the world and the people in it, the same as Ike did. In Ranulf, Ike found someone who shared both his sense of humor and his values.

It was Ranulf who constantly introduced him to new things. Every day was an adventure when Ranulf was involved. There was always something new to taste, to explore, or to try out. Together, they took the path less explored, and they grew stronger for it.

Ranulf’s sense of whimsy extended to the bedroom. They were often trying new positions, or turning things into a game, and Ike was more than happy to be led along by a man who knew what he wanted. With new experiences came awkward moments, but that didn’t matter. They could laugh about it, and that made sex even better, somehow.

So Ike loved them differently, but equally. He couldn’t imagine life without a sour-faced Soren by his side, nor did he ever want to stop falling in love with Ranulf.

As for Soren and Ranulf’s relationship, it was neither fully platonic nor romantic. Ike didn’t know how to label it, and Soren wouldn’t have wanted one, anyway. He maintained that Ike was the only man he loved, and for all that Ranulf pretended to be hurt by that, Ike knew he didn’t mean it.

They bickered constantly, in the way an old couple might. It hadn’t started like that. It had taken time for Soren to stop instinctively flinching away from Ranulf whenever he got too close. But Ranulf was the persistent sort, and gradually he coaxed Soren from his shell, until one day Ike overheard them discussing the decades-long animosity between their races. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop for so long, but…

It had given Ike hope to know that they would have each other, once his shorter lifespan reached its inevitable end.

After that, something small yet monumental shifted in Soren and Ranulf’s relationship. They still bickered, but Ike heard the affection underneath the cutting remarks. At times it veered close to flirting.

More importantly, they had each other’s backs. Ranulf never quite lost his cool quite like he did whenever a laguz said something rude about Soren. And Soren never fussed so hard than when Ranulf was late getting home, even they both knew that the cat had most likely gotten sidetracked by one thing or another.

Perhaps the best advantage of Soren and Ranulf getting along was the fact that they could tend to each other when Ike didn’t feel up to the task.

Ike’s interest in sex was generally perfectly neutral… “generally” being the key term. At times, he found himself pulled in one of the two extremes. On one end, he experienced an unexpected surge of desire for his lovers that always caught him off guard. And on the other end was a sharp decline of interest, when he couldn’t get over the uncleanliness of the act, and he found himself mildly disgusted by the very thought.

When the latter mood struck, Ike encouraged his lovers to spend more time together. There was some reluctance from Soren’s end at the beginning, but with time and ample reassurance from Ike that no, he really didn’t mind, it became something that benefitted all three of them.

And if Ranulf and Soren occasionally fooled around even when Ike was feeling neutral about sex, then he wasn’t going to complain. Rather, it often propelled him into the very interested side of the spectrum.

Though Ike’s favorite thing was when he found his lovers sharing the bed in the literal sense. Nothing warmed his heart more than the sight of them curled up together, Soren using Ranulf’s chest as a pillow, and Ranulf purring oh so quietly in his sleep.

It was endlessly endearing, filling Ike with a love that was somehow both heavy and light, and if Ike could have loved them any more, he would.

(If anyone made it this far: Thanks for reading!)

(And yes, I know the ending is abrupt, but I didn’t know how else to end it. This is mainly just my headcanons on Ike/Soren and Ike/Ranulf, just put into prose. I do not know why I felt compelled to write it, only that this ot3 has taken up permanent residence in my brain, and thus I am physically incapable of shutting up about them.)

[the-boy-meets-evil]

tell me how it got this way | ch.5

pairing: jungkook x f.reader, hoseok x f.reader genre: fwb to lovers/friends to lovers, love triangle | angst, smut, fluff | non-idol!au chapter rating: mature, minors dni warnings: drinking, mentions of sex (nothing explicit), jimin is a little shit (affectionate), swearing, i think that's it word count: ~6k a/n: other idols pop up in this chapter (ateez & seventeen), they're really just used as names. ages aren't relevant and you can assume they're all generally around the same age. the final part (at least for what i have planned) is also finished and i'm going to post that next week! prev | masterlist | next

When Namjoon had initially pitched the idea of selling the movie rights for your books, your answer was immediate. No. Movies rarely, actually, came out as good as the books and you felt like you lost so much of the finer detail. If you had wanted to see your work on the big screen, you would be writing screenplays instead of full-length novels. Which, okay, that sounded pretentious even in your head, but whatever. Namjoon got the picture and the conversation was tabled temporarily.

About two months after that, Namjoon had found what he called a compromise. You weren’t sure how it was a compromise since it was your work and you didn’t want to sell the rights. Until Namjoon reminded you that the publishing company also had a stake. Point: Namjoon. It was a good point, though, because a streaming service wanted to pick up the rights to just the first book as a test and do a limited-run series as opposed to a movie. Namjoon was very clear on the differences here. The budget, in some ways, would definitely be smaller, you aren’t looking at big superstar names, and, most importantly, you have to either sign on as a co-writer for the screenplays or fully sign the rights over. They were fine with either option, they just knew that there wasn’t enough in your book for the standard 8-10 episodes.

And that answer was just as immediate. Yes. These were the kinds of chances that authors hoped for. Yes, it will still be different from the book. This just gives you much more leeway to include the important details and even flush characters out more in a way that’s just too much for a book. You’re not Stephen King over here releasing his “unedited” version of The Stand, which, if you’re being honest, was kind of (read: insanely) self-indulgent. Not that you’re comparing yourself to Stephen King, either. To each their own and all that.

So, with Namjoon’s guidance, you signed a deal where you’d co-write the episodes with a team who actually have a lot of experience doing just that. Really, you know you’re just there to keep everything true to the world that’s lived in your head for years. That’s why they want you. Some people will stumble onto this show never having heard of the books (and Namjoon hopes it’ll make them buy a copy), but others will tune in expecting it to come off the same way they’ve been imagining, for characters to make decisions that feel authentic. 

You actually kind of loved the writing sessions. It was really amazing to see how things came together and to be in a room where you didn’t need to shout to be heard. Everyone there was genuinely interested in your feedback, and you tried to be conscious of when to just let the process unfold. It was collaborative in the best way. The only hard thing was keeping it all under wraps from almost everyone. The whole team had decided that they wouldn’t announce the news until the rough copies of the scripts were finished enough to move on to casting.

Now, that you’re having to sit through casting auditions, you’re rethinking your entire life that has led to this moment. No, that is not dramatic. You gave the casting team literal pages on pages for every character that needed to have any sort of significant role in the show and had even worked with someone for fucking *mood boards* for the main characters. There were days when you barely slept because you had to churn things out for casting. All so you could turn the rough scripts into final copies. What else did they want from you? 

To sit through casting calls, apparently. So fine. You can eat craft services with the best of them.

After a few days, you do start to see the point in it all, see the times when the casting team liked two people for a particular part and looked to you as the deciding factor. While it felt like a lot of pressure, it also allowed you to make sure everything felt right. It was never just about physical appearance, that was always fluid. You also didn’t want Kristen Stewart in the Twilight movies with one damn expression the entire time. (No shade to Kristen Stewart, it just wasn’t anyone’s best look in those movies).

The one positive is that you’ve managed to meet a few people you actually kind of like. And, okay, yeah, they’re mostly assistants to some of the more important people in the process, but those people are stuffy and very unlikely to gossip with you around the water cooler. Since you’ve never had a normal office job, this is a very important part of actually getting to work with people. Namjoon scoffs a lot at this, says that it’s probably good that you haven’t had a normal office job. He spends a lot of time letting you know actual office jobs aren’t anything like sitcoms, which is funny considering the office where he works. Maybe he doesn’t gossip around the water cooler, but you’ve definitely seen the assistants gathering. Even heard his name come up a time or two. Heard how attractive they all seem to think he is. They’re not wrong.

Your new friends are also the type of people who insist that you absolutely have to join them when they decide happy hour is the perfect way to end the day. As San points out, you have the morning off tomorrow anyway. When you ask why it would matter if it was just happy hour, Wooyoung promptly elbows San hard in the ribs and says it doesn’t. You don’t miss the conspiratorial look on their faces, but fuck it. Happy hour sounds good.

Your head is pounding and it feels like you got hit by a freight train. You don’t even remember getting that drunk the night before. The whole evening is kind of a blur of shots and bright lights and off-key karaoke. It was just supposed to be happy hour, which you learned quickly was your first mistake. There was no such thing as just happy hour with San, Wooyoung, and their insanely chaotic group of friends. And as the sleep is wearing off, something else creeps in. There is an arm draped over you. You’re not alone in your bed. Peeking one eye open, you’re immediately struck with the fact that these aren’t your walls, not your sheets, this isn’t your bed. You’re praying on everything that you don’t believe in that the arm belongs to one of the other people you’d gone out with the night before. You remember thinking one of Wooyoung’s friends was cute and tall and smiley, a little flirty and a little shy too. And then you see the hands. And the rings. With a careful glance back, you confirm it’s Hoseok, shirtless (you don’t need to check if it’s wearing anything else).

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It’s rushing back. You quickly learned San and Wooyoung had no intention of letting you go after just happy hour. They were all convinced you were too stressed and that what you really needed was a patented WooSan (yes, they had a couple name, despite not actually being in a relationship) night of fun. You briefly considered protesting, but really, what was the point? And fuck, they weren’t wrong.

So happy hour turned into multiple stops. Wooyoung was on a karaoke mission and although you had never heard him sing, you instinctively thought drunken karaoke was never a good idea. (You were wrong, he had the voice of an angel to match his personality of the devil.) Karaoke meant meeting up with more of their friends. And somehow, because fate was cruel, one of their friends had brought along his friend Hoseok. You remember staring at him like a deer in headlights before declaring everything was fine and hitting the shots. There also may have been a lot of flirting with Wooyoung’s tall friend with the shy smile whose name you couldn’t remember.

Now, in the light of day, it was not fine. You gingerly slide out from underneath his arm and carefully get out of the bed, tiptoeing over to what you can only hope and assume is a bathroom, phone snatched off the nightstand on the way. You’re thanking drunk you for not making it harder to find.

Once you’re in the safety of the bathroom, you sink down to the floor and take a couple of breaths. You’re not sure if it’s the hangover rearing its ugly head or just the situation you’ve found yourself in.

You: Yoongi are you up? You: Please be up, I need you! You: This is important! Like one of those most important things in the world.

Yoongi isn’t answering and you’re starting to panic. You need someone to talk you through this. So you call him, knowing that it might get his attention. The first call goes to voicemail and so you try again. This time after the second ring you hear him grunt a frustrated “what?” and then hang up.

Yoongi: What the fuck? You call twice and hang up on me? You: Because I need you

Missed call from Yoongi

Yoongi: Then answer the fucking phone You: I *can’t* You: Yoongi, I fucked up, like really fucked up Yoongi: What’s going on? You: I went out drinking last night and ugh I did something really fucking stupid Yoongi: Whatever it is, it’s not that serious You: I just woke up next to Hobi… You: Like I’m in fucking university again Yoongi: … Yoongi: I’m going back to bed, you’re being dramatic You: I’m *not* this is SERIOUS Yoongi: It’s not that serious You: I’ve spent 5 years trying to get over the way he treated me, so yeah it’s a big deal Yoongi: it’s just drunken sex and I’m tired You: oh my god, give the phone to Jimin Yoongi: Just text him You: Yoongi, please

You stare at the phone and try to figure out what else to say when the screen lights up again.

Yoongi: I have a very grumpy boyfriend You: Jimin, thank god Yoongi (Jimin): what is it my little problem child? You: Just read up Yoongi (Jimin): You bitch, you went out and got drunk and didn’t invite me? You: Jimin can we focus please? Yoongi (Jimin): Who did you go out with? You: Is this really the time? Yoongi (Jimin): I’m waiting You: Fuck Jimin, just some people that are working on the show You: Now can we please talk about this colossal mistake? Yoongi (Jimin): I’ll be there to pick you up and take your hungover ass to get breakfast, which is more than you deserve since you went out WITHOUT ME You: Thank you and I will never go out without inviting you again Yoongi (Jimin): Better

You’ve taken way too long in the bathroom and you know there’s a chance Hoseok will be awake now. But you can’t bring yourself to leave the bathroom until you get the text from Jimin that he’s downstairs. Bless him for being an absolute angel, even when it’s his horns keeping the halo upright. 

Despite being a colossal pain in the ass about nearly everything in life, Jimin does actually come through and take you to one of the best meals you’ve ever had. Or maybe you’re just that hungover. You don’t really know. He’s also somehow managed to bring you a change of clothes (which, you’re not really sure if they’re actually yours or where they came from, but the outfit looks remarkably put together) and makeup so you don’t have to go all the way home. You try to ask why he’s so prepared and he only gives a vague answer about how you didn’t know him before Yoongi and smirks. You’re immediately filing that away for another day when you do remember to invite Jimin out to drink with you and whatever group you’ve been dragged into. 

When Jimin drops you off at the studio (another point to Jimin) where your car is still conveniently parked from the night before, you’re feeling and looking significantly more human. You know you owe him, he doesn’t have to say it. But he’s Park Jimin so he says it anyway and you just smile.

The auditions feel a little less tedious with a stomach full of greasy food the day after a much-needed night out (where you will be pretending that you did not fuck Hoseok again). You’re looking for some more minor characters today. If things go well and you end up doing a second season based on the second book, they could play a much bigger role. For now, though, it’s still small.

Realistically, you’re not hungry because Jimin really did hook you up. Then again, the food is there and it’s free, so you’re looking over to decide what you might actually want to try. Someone approaches the other side of the table, looking tentative. You immediately recognize him as one of the guys you pointed out as fitting the right look for one of your characters. He was sweet, kind of endearing, but with really striking features.

“Hey, I just wanted to introduce myself,” he says and you look up. “I’m Chan.”

“I remember,” you say and you’re being honest. You were insistent that he be kept around to audition.

“Wow, I didn’t think…well that’s great. I’m excited to get the chance. Thank you so much,” Chan says and you realize this might be a big deal for him.

“No problem, you just remind me of him,” you say.

“I was talking to my dance teacher before the first audition,” Chan starts and you raise an eyebrow. “Oh, I know this isn’t a dancing part, I just like to take the classes.”

“That’s fair,” you say.

“And I was really worried about the audition and how it would go,” Chan says. “But my dance teacher, he’s awesome, he said he had gone to school with you and used to be friends with you and all that and that you were really nice.”

That one statement brought you up completely short. What the fuck?

“Who’s your dance teacher?” You already know the answer because really, who else could it be? Still, you need to hear him say it.

“Oh, Jung Hoseok,” Chan says quickly and you force a smile. “Do you remember him? He gave me all this great advice about the audition and said he’d try to reach out to you if it made me feel better. He’s so nice.”

“Yeah, he was. It’s been ages since I’ve spoken to him though,” you say, hoping that you succeed in the attempt at nonchalance. 

“Yeah, he said that. I think he was just trying to help me feel better, offering to reach out,” Chan agrees. “I get it though. You’ve had so much success as a writer, so it makes sense you wouldn’t still talk to everyone from college. It’s so cool they’re turning your book into a series and you’re so young!”

“I feel like I’ve been writing for like 20 years with how much it ages me sometimes,” you say to distract yourself from thinking of Hoseok.

“I actually…read all the books when they came out, I’m a big fan,” Chan says and blushes like it’s embarrassing to admit. You think it’s sweet. One of the PAs calls out for you, though.

“Good luck today, Chan. It’s been really great speaking to you,” you say and excuse yourself.

Honestly, you can’t believe the audacity of fucking Jung Hoseok to say what he had to this poor kid. Playing it off like he knows you, making it seem like you just used to be friends. And what was he thinking, offering to reach out to you on behalf of this kid?

That’s when a truly sickening thought settles into your brain. Takes root in a way that you know you can’t shake it. One of those intrusive thoughts that shouldn’t ever exist. Was that what this all was? Is this why he reached out? Does he just want to help one of his dancers get a role in your new series? That would be seriously fucked up if that was the case. And you hate thinking he could be capable of something like that. The reality is that you used to know Hoseok, while the guy who wrecked you was a complete stranger and there’s no way of knowing which one had shown up now.

The rest of the day is kind of a wash from a concentration standpoint. You’re a million miles away and thankfully, nobody seems to call you on it. You’re not sure if it’s because they’ve worked with writers before that had their heads in the clouds or because you’re still answering all the questions asked of you. Either way, you’re not really there at all. 

Over the next day or so, you decide the best way forward is to continue ignoring Hoseok (despite him texting you multiple times wanting to talk about what happened after karaoke). Instead of talking to Hoseok, you do the completely rational thing and talk to every other person you trust. How can you decide on the next move without multiple opinions? 

You can’t.

Yoongi is first up and he’s exceptionally grumpy since you woke him up before he was ready to be a person. It may not have been that early by normal human standards, but Yoongi is only part human and part gremlin, you think, so he’s never really followed normal hours. Once he’s done being grumpy, he takes his time being thoughtful. As far as he sees it, this was just some drunken sex. It isn’t like Hoseok actually asked for anything, that you remember. And you insist you remember everything from the night.  For all you know, it was just stress relief for both of you. No point in getting worked up.

Since Jimin is there and incapable of being ignored, he also gets to weigh in. Which is welcome, actually, because Jimin can be really calculating when he wants to be. He asks a lot of questions, both about the guy you were friends with and the fight that ended it all. You’re just about ready to call this conversation a day when Jimin says he doesn’t think it sounds like something malicious. There’s only one way to know for sure, though, and he suggests that you just talk to Hoseok like an adult with multiple published books and a streaming deal. There’s Park Jimin for you.

Part of you wants to ask Namjoon, but thinks better of it. The Affair incident is fresh in your mind and you really don’t need to give him another reason to question your sanity. There are enough of those just in everyday life. And you just had to relive the entire fight with Jimin so you’re not too eager to explain all the backstory to Namjoon.

Which makes the final person you ask Jungkook. His opinion is so incredibly important to you, yet it’s the one that you’re least excited about getting. It means you also have to tell him about sleeping with Hoseok, a fact that you have carefully avoided. Not that you owe Jungkook every detail of your life, because you’re not actually in a relationship. It’s just that, sometimes, with how much you depend on each other, it feels like something more. Feels like it’s much more than just some friends-with-benefits type situation. 

In true Jungkook fashion, he takes the news in stride and doesn’t linger on you fucking this stranger that reappeared at the Gala and hasn’t seemed to go away since then. He’s thoughtful, Hoseok has come up a lot in your conversations lately, so he doesn’t have to ask questions like Jimin. And you tell him how frustrating it was to answer them, anyway. There’s no escaping it when Jungkook comes to the same conclusion, though. 

“Just talk to him,” Jungkook urges, “you’ll feel so much better being able to gauge his answer.”

“I’m really sorry,” you say and Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow at that. 

“For what?” he asks.

“Getting drunk and making a stupid fucking mistake by fucking him,” you answer, avoiding his eyes. 

“It’s really not a big deal for you and me,” Jungkook says.

“Are you sure?” you ask. You hate how small your voice sounds.

Jungkook closes the space between you and kisses the top of your head. “I’m sure. I’m here for whatever you need.”

This brings you to texting Hoseok.

And that brings you to sit down in a coffee shop with him, because apparently you can’t just text or go to each other’s apartment, like normal people. Which is nice too, actually, because it gives you a chance to see more of the city than just your apartment or the studio where you’ve been working. It allows you to people watch, see those rushing by in a haze mingled with those taking their time. Let’s your overactive imagination come up with a story for each of them. 

You still aren’t even sure if you want to forgive Hoseok for everything that happened all those years ago. And with all the writing sessions and casting calls, you haven’t exactly had a lot of time to even think, let alone talk to anyone outside of your small circle. Which isn’t totally out of character, you’ve never been one for a huge circle of friends or social engagements. It just makes everything a little more complicated now as you’re trying to sort out feelings. 

Hoseok beat you to the coffee shop this time, seemingly by a bit since he’s going to get his second cup just after you sit down. You spare a passing thought that maybe he’s nervous about talking to you. He certainly seems like he is. Weirdly it makes you less nervous. It makes you feel somehow more in control of the situation because you do know what you want to say.

“So,” Hoseok begins after he sits back down, “about the other night…”

“Actually, that isn’t exactly what I wanted to talk to you about,” you say, watching his eyes go wide.

“What?” he stutters out.

“I mean, I guess it’s kind of related? But also not,” you say. “I met Lee Chan at a casting call the other day.”

Whatever Hoseok was expecting, it’s not this. He tries to connect the dots for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “Okay? He’s a great kid, I’m glad he decided to go to the auditions after all.”

“That’s it?” You’re watching him for a reaction that just isn’t there. Maybe, despite The Fight, he’s still more or less the person you were friends with.

“I’m not sure what else to say about him,” Hoseok admits.

“Okay, cards on the table,” you say with a confidence you don’t entirely feel. “Did you show back up in my life to help your student get a part in my series?”

Hoseok chokes on his drink when the question comes out, turns into a coughing mess and takes a minute to clear his throat. “What the fuck? Is that what you think? Come on, you know me…”

“I don’t though, do I? Not anymore,” you disagree and there’s finally an emotion on his face that you can place: hurt. He’s hurt and you’re not sure how to feel about that. Your feelings about him are still so mixed up. A big part of you wants to comfort him, though. Which isn’t exactly the response you’d expected.

“Maybe I deserve that, but it still hurts,” Hoseok says. You chew your bottom lip while you think.

“It hurt to have the thought it was possible too, trust me,” you say. “But it was weird timing, you know? Chan introduced himself during his second audition, later the same day I woke up in your bed.”

“I would never sleep with you to help a student get something out of it,” Hoseok says earnestly. “I’d never sleep with you to get anything out of it.”

“I want to believe that,” you admit.

“I had no idea that you’d be there. Another guy from the studio who teaches but also takes my master classes is friends with your friends that invited you out. He asked if I wanted to come out, I wasn’t busy, so I figured why not?” Hoseok explains. “And then I wake up and you’re gone.”

“Hoseok,” you say, a quiet warning.

“Actually, I wake up and you’re sneaking out without saying anything,” he amends. 

“I needed to not be there,” you say because it’s all you can say.

“I get that, I know you’re seeing someone, but we needed to talk about it,” Hoseok says.

“Yeah, Jungkook knows,” you say and feel your heart constrict a bit at the way Hoseok pales.

“What?” Hoseok asks. When you don’t say anything, he continues. “Please tell me you’re kidding, he looks like he could kick my ass and barely break a sweat.”

“He would never,” you disagree. “My…relationship, if you wanna call it that, with Jungkook isn’t exactly what you think? Like he’s not my boyfriend, we’re not exclusive or anything like that.”

“But you let me think you were?” He doesn’t look upset, just confused if anything.

“Yeah, I know,” you say and he’s still watching you carefully. “It was just easier and honestly, I didn’t feel like I owed you an explanation for my personal life after all these years.”

“I - yeah, okay, I guess I have to respect that,” Hoseok agrees. “But we still need to talk.”

“I’m not ready,” you say immediately, try not to feel anything when he deflates. 

“I guess I just thought…since you asked to meet me,” Hoseok says, trailing off.

“I needed to know if you really just did that for a student,” you offer.

“You believe that I didn’t, right? That I wouldn’t?” Hoseok asks with so much hope that you’re not sure you can take it.

“I do, yeah,” you say. You’ve barely had time to process, but you know you do believe he wouldn’t do that. It’s about all you know when it comes to him now.

“I really do need you to know how sorry I am,” Hoseok says and you start to open your mouth, but he’s quicker. “Please, you don’t have to say anything, just let me say this? Please?”

He looks so much younger, so vulnerable for a moment. All you do is nod.

“I know sorry isn’t what you need to hear, I get that. I know that I can’t go back and change that fight and all the fucking stupid shit that I said. Stuff that I didn’t mean. And I do hear you that you’re not ready. I just want you to know that I’m so sorry,” Hoseok says.

You let out your breath. “I do know that Hobi, at least on some level.” 

“I’ve, well I’ve done a lot of thinking about that day. I talked to a lot of people, both friends and a therapist, actually. There aren’t any excuses for what I did, no matter what was going on in my head. If I’ve learned anything over the past few years, it’s definitely that. So I want to make sure you know that when you are ready, if you’re ever ready, I won’t make any excuses. What happened was entirely my fault and I completely acknowledge that,” he says, so earnestly. 

“I appreciate that,” you say because it’s all you really can think up.

This was supposed to clear your head up, which it has in some ways. You feel a little silly for even thinking that Hoseok would do something like sleep with you to help get someone he only kind of knows a role in a TV series. And you’re also questioning your friends since none of them pointed out you were having a full breakdown over a man. Not your finest moment. 

But with that one, small thing cleared up, your mind immediately goes back to the bigger issue: Hoseok has reappeared in your life and you really need to figure out how you feel about that. You’ve missed him, of course. You’re not going to deny that very obvious truth. On top of that, you also very clearly have some sort of feelings for him. After all, you’re not stupid college kids anymore. It’s not like you can pretend the sex was meaningless. 

Hoseok, showing some definite growth from your college days, accepts it when you say that you just can’t talk about all the very real things you need to right now. Accepts it when you say that you believe him but you have to go. Accepts that you’re running late for something. The only problem is that you’re not running late. It’s not like you actually planned for after your talk with him. It was too much to even think about how the conversation was going to go.

Now it’s over, though, and you don’t really want to go home to be alone with your thoughts. One of the few times that you don’t like that you live alone. Don’t like that you don’t have a built-in person that can just be there without you having to explain what you’re feeling or that you don’t want to be alone. Which is when your brain goes to Jungkook. He’s become that person that you go to when you don’t want to be alone or when you need to get out of your own head.

Except you’re not really sure that’s fair to him. Not really sure if seeing him right now is going to help you. Since the Gala, he’s been nothing but supportive and understanding. This is too much, though, isn’t it? Sure, you and he have never really wanted to bother labeling things, both just happy with the way things are. Things have naturally kind of evolved, but you haven’t stopped to talk about any of it. Sure, Jungkook always assures you that it’s fine, that he’s happy to be there whenever you need him. 

The healthiest thing to do is go home and actually try to sort out your feelings. The second healthiest thing to do would be to call Yoongi and tell him that you actually need to talk to him (which you do, desperately, need his help). 

None of the healthy options include texting Wooyoung to see if he’s got any plans that night. The healthy ways to process definitely don’t include agreeing to go out for happy hour knowing full well what that means with Wooyoung. At least this time, you invite Jimin to avoid one disaster.

(Jimin agrees to come and agrees to your terms that he’s not allowed to ask if you’re okay or if you want to talk. Agrees that he won’t tell Yoongi even if he thinks you’re making reckless decisions. He also finds a way to tell Wooyoung’s friend not to invite Hoseok this time without outing you. When you’re sober, you’ll probably thank Jimin. Maybe. There is always his ego to consider.)

“I feel like I’ve seen you around somewhere,” San muses, looking at Jimin.

Jimin just smiles his most mischievous smile and shrugs, taking a sip of his drink. “Probably.”

“Jimin is one of my best friends, he’s been by the studio a few times,” you say when it’s clear Jimin isn’t going to provide any more context. He sighs and rolls his eyes dramatically.

“I’m also dating her platonic soulmate, so she’s stuck with me,” Jimin adds and you snort.

“Is that what we’re calling Yoongi these days?” you ask. Jimin smiles a real smile, eyes crinkling. 

“Honestly, yes, your friendship with him is so sweet, it makes me sick,” Jimin says with nothing but affection. 

San seems satisfied and Wooyoung just looks enamored by anything Jimin says. Which is actually kind of cute because you can tell he’s not even interested in Jimin like that, just genuinely wants to be his friend. And you definitely get that. Jimin is one of the sweetest, most charismatic people that you know. Yes, he can be a devious little shit, but when he’s like this, it’s impossible to not like him. 

That’s just kind of how the night goes. Thankfully, it’s not quite as crazy as the last time you went out with this group. You learn the tall guy’s name is Mingi and for some reason, he seems weirdly shy around you. It’s cute and he’s incredibly sweet. Jimin fits in seamlessly, which isn’t a surprise to you with how many times you’ve seen him like this. 

What is a surprise, though, is that Jimin keeps demanding you get up and dance with him. Since, of course, happy hour turned into going someplace else. It wasn’t just Jimin that wanted to dance and now you were just along for the ride. He also insisted that you were a safe choice to dance with and also gave you a sob story about how Yoongi would never dance with him at the club. 

(Probably true, crowds and people and this kind of thing were definitely not Yoongi’s first or second or even last choice. It’s also true that Jimin is a really amazing dancer and you’re a little intimidated by him. You’re also, thankfully, just buzzed enough to not really care.)

It’s the early hours of the morning when you finally head home, feeling a lot lighter than you had after leaving Hoseok. In fact, you haven’t checked your messages since meeting up with Jimin, Wooyoung, San, and the others. There’s something freeing about just putting everything on Do Not Disturb and enjoying the moment. 

By the time you get out of the car at your apartment, the alcohol haze is already wearing off. Which ends up being a good thing when you open your door to see someone sitting on your couch. There’s a half second of panic, of your brain calculating fight or flight, before you realize that it’s just Jungkook. Sitting on your couch, watching TV like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“Jesus Christ, Jungkook,” you say, hand on your chest like you’re about to die. A little overdramatic, maybe, but your brain is still a little hazy around the edges. 

“Sorry,” he says, eyes immediately going comically wide. “I didn’t mean to scare you!” 

“No, it’s fine,” you say as you toe off your shoes and drop your keys and bag on the table by the door. 

“I really am sorry,” he says. It’s easy to believe when he looks that bashful. “I don’t even know why I came over. I just, well I texted you after I got out of my shoot to see how things went and you didn’t answer.”

“Oh yeah, I went out for drinks with Jimin and some friends from the set,” you say and Jungkook nods. 

“Yeah, he actually texted me,” Jungkook admits and you just chuckle. Of course he did, you think. “But I was already on my way over here and your apartment is more comfortable than mine. I can leave though?” 

“No, it’s fine, it’s late,” you say as you collapse on the couch with him. “One rule, though.” 

“What?” he asks.

“I don’t wanna talk about the conversation with Hobi right now,” you say quietly as you nestle into Jungkook’s side.

You miss the way that he tenses for a minute at the way the old nickname falls so easily from your lips. Miss the way it takes his arms a minute to wrap around you. Miss the way his face falls a little at you not wanting to talk to him about something. 

“Of course, whatever you need,” Jungkook says. 

You don’t hear the way his voice sounds a little hollow, a little less animated than it usually does. He wants to mean it, wants to keep being there for you however you need him. It’ll be fine, he tells himself. He can do this. 

all of them are kinda going through it right now, but please let me know your thoughts <3

[dailyexo]

[TRANSLATION] Chen - 230814 Official EXO-L Japan website update: "「CHEN JAPAN TOUR 2023 - Polaris -」リハーサル現場レポート＃２！" ("'CHEN JAPAN TOUR 2023 - Polaris -' On-site Rehearsal Report #2!")

"「CHEN JAPAN TOUR 2023 - Polaris -」の日本でのリハーサルも中盤を迎えました！ 今回のスタッフブログでは、リハーサル現場のレポート続編をお届けします！"

Translation: "We're coming up to the halfway point for our rehearsals for 'CHEN JAPAN TOUR 2023 - Polaris -'! In our staff blog we'll share with you some more rehearsal news!"

"ツアーのスタートも近づいてきましたが、みなさん楽しむ準備はできていますか？^^ チェンも公演に向けて実際にステージでの動線などの細かい部分も確認しながら、ライブを創り上げていっています♪ とある日のリハーサルでは演出のshojiさんからステージ演出について説明を受けながら、「お～！いいですね！」とワクワクした様子だったチェン♪ライブ演出についてもスタッフと意見を出し合いながら、ツアーの世界観を完成させていっていました🌌"

Translation: "The first day of the tour is drawing closer, are you guys ready? ^^ Chen has been hard at work preparing for the show. He's been making sure all of the fine details are ready to go, including things such as stage lines. He is determined to make this show a success!♪ One day during rehearsal while Shoji was explaining parts of the performance, Chen replied with a bright smile and said, 'Oh~! Nice!'♪ The staff also contributed their own thoughts during the rehearsal to make sure it is the best it could possibly be and really make an impact on everyone watching! 🌌"

"CHEN Japan 1st Mini Album『ポラリス』のジャケットやミュージックビデオを日本の街で撮影して制作したことは、みなさんもうご存じですよね♪実は、ライブ中に流れる映像も日本で撮影したんです！そんな映像がどんな風にどのシーンで出てくるのか、そしてどんなステージがみられるのか、こだわりの詰まったステージとその世界観にも注目してくださいね^^

そしてリハーサルの合間には、お気に入りの日本食を食べたりと日本での滞在も楽しんでいるチェン^^とある日のリハーサル前には、牛丼を食べてリハーサルに向けて力をつけている姿を発見👀！そんなチェンに日本滞在に関する質問をしてみました！

Q：今回日本に来るときや、来てからのTMIを教えてください。

A：今回日本に来てショッピングをしたときのことなのですが、店員の方が「かっこいいですね！誰か俳優の方に似てます」と褒めてくださいました(笑)。 もちろん帽子を深くかぶっていたので僕だと気がつくことはできなかったと思いますが、かっこいいと褒められて嬉しかったです。 でもこれからはもう少しがんばらないと(笑)。

Q：日本ツアーのために長く日本に滞在する予定ですが、絶対に必要だと思って持ってきたアイテムはなんですか？

A：スケジュールがあるとき以外はほとんどの時間をホテルで過ごすので、早く終わった日にはパックをしたり半身浴を楽しんだりします。なのでいつもいろんなパックをたくさん持ってきています。

Q：日本にきて新しく覚えた日本語はありますか？

A：えぐい！

次回のレポートでもチェンに、質問をぶつけてみますよ～♪ EXO-L-JAPANのみなさん、次回はどんな回答が返ってくるのかぜひ楽しみにしていてくださいね^^"

Translation: "We're sure everyone already noticed by now that the CHEN Japan 1st Mini Album 'Polaris' cover photo was shot in a town in Japan.♪You will be pleased to know the concert VCRs have also been shot in Japan! What sort of scenes did we shoot? Well, you'll just have to come to the concert to find out! We're sure they'll leave a big impression so make sure not to miss out!^^

Between rehearsals, Chen enjoyed his stay in Japan and especially loved eating all his favourite Japanese foods! ^^ One day, we caught Chen eating a beef and rice bowl to fuel up before rehearsal👀! We also asked Chen a couple questions about his stay in Japan and now we are going to share them with everyone!

Q: Tell us about something that happened upon your arrival to Japan this time.

A: After I landed, I went shopping and the staff said to me, 'Wow, you're so handsome! You look like an actor!', I felt very flattered (hehe). I don't think they could really see my face because I was wearing a hat that covered most of it, but I was still happy to receive the compliment. This also means that I need to work harder! (hehe).

Q: Since you're going to be embarking on your Japanese tour, that means you'll be spending quite a long time here. Are there any must-haves in your suitcase?

A: Outside my schedules, I spend most of my time in the hotel. On days where I get back a little earlier I'll put on a face mask and take a bath. For that reason I always bring a bunch of face masks.

Q: Did you learn any new Japanese on your trip so far?

A: Egui! (Eww!)

For our next report we'll pester Chen with more questions! ♪ So then, EXO-L-JAPAN, tune in next time to get all the juicy questions and answeers, look forward to it!^^"

Photo links: 1, 2

Credit: translation, dailyexo.tumblr.com, Source: Official EXO-L Japan.

[mydaroga]

Follow up on the Tune In ask, Thank you for your response!! And please, never apologize for the length, it was greatly insightful. I actually haven't started on the book yet but it came highly recommended to me as The definitive Beatles biography so I was looking around to see what others think of it. Most of the critical opinions I found on this site seem consistent with your criticisms especially about Lewisohn's tendency to cherry pick quotes or imposing a new context on them...

Well, that formatted weird. Sorry. Anyway, I will definitely try to give as thorough an answer as I have time for, so that may mean just a few examples. If you want a deeper dive I can recommend the Another Kind of Mind Series, Fine Tuning. I don't agree entirely with their approach, but I agree for the most part with their findings and concerns, if that makes sense. And then there's Serene's blog entry which does a more thorough examination of the way Lewisohn ... hrm, shall we say, stretches citations to mean... whatever he wants.

I don't know that I am going to be able to go into quite as much detail here as I didn't keep these good notes while reading. But I can think of a few things that stuck out to me before I listened/read these other takes. And I'm happy to keep talking about this or expand, I'm not saying I don't like doing this, just that I am not gonna ... okay I'm going to write an essay? But I won't be as meticulous as I should be.

The first thing that made me stop reading and just go track down what was actually going on was a passage in which Lewisohn is talking about teen Paul's resistance to getting a job, going against Jim. From Tune In:

Paul still hated anyone telling him what to do -- 'It just never occurred to me to listen to other people' -- but when Jim insisted, sometimes Paul did as bid... as John scathingly noted. He went down to the Labour Exchange and Renshaw Hall and landed a £10-a-week Christmas-period job with SPD Ltd, Speedy Prompt Deliveries.

Now, all on its own without context this is a great Paul McCartney quote because you go, "yeah that checks out." I plan on using it as a sort of Macca meme, you know? But it was soooo Paul I thought, "wait, in what context did he say that? Like, he doesn't listen ever? He's admitting he just doesn't listen to anyone?"

So weirdly, it's not actually footnoted, but I found the source. It's a 1980 interview with Tim Rice, which is entertaining in its own right because he tells the guy who co-wrote Jesus Christ Superstar and Evita and later The Lion King that, you know, musicals are boring. Anyway, not the point.

It took me awhile to find the actual quote, because it's really a throwaway, almost self-deprecating aside, in the context of how he's listening to people more now because he's realized too many smart people just talk and it might be good to listen some.

So okay. Paul did say that, and he's admitting there was a time he didn't take the time to listen, but he's doing it in a sort of jokey way. I guess it's fair to say, generally, sure, Paul has a tendency to be headstrong and go his own way and that certainly would have been a factor in his psychological battle with Jim Mac over going to get his teaching license or whatever. It's not like Lewisohn is bending the facts of anything. It's not really a big deal. But it was the moment that clued me in that he's not necessarily using like for like. There's plenty of quotes about how Paul felt about this time in his life without using a joke from 1980 to shore up your point about his resistance to dad, in a paragraph that implies he's saying it about his resistance to dad. And when you've decide that "it just never occurred to me to listen to other people" can mean "and that's why he didn't listen to Jim about work, except this time he did," I don't know. It leaves a funny taste in my mouth because then you could use it for anything Paul decides to do differently. If that makes sense. If it applies there, it applies to anything Paul does. And Paul obviously didn't mean that in 1980.

Also maybe this is more nuanced, but while "Paul still hated anyone telling him what to do" is a true statement in any time in his life, that quote itself? Is neither necessarily relevant to being told what to do or very revealing. It actually is entirely unnecessary. The passage would be completely benign and throw me no red flags without it.

Like any of the points I make or, frankly, I've heard others make, it's less that he's saying untrue things and more that by using these citations in ways that remove them from context and add them to a different context, he is painting a picture but passing it off as fact. In addition, he often will use a quote from John's angry, Lennon Remembers period to interpret Paul's motives in the early 60s, rather than using, oh I dunno, a quote from.... Paul? Or a nicer quote from John when he's contradicted himself again? Again it's all legit sourcing and citing! But the contextualizing creates something he's selling as free of interpretation which is anything but.

The other one I've been thinking about is laid out quite well in I think episode 3 of the AKOM pod, and it's about Paul's creative development. While John's is described as original and a free spirit and rebellious in his artistic ambitions--which he was--Paul's artistic endeavors almost always come with a weasel word or caveat. What I mean is, John is always described as inventive; Paul is a gifted mimic. This despite a lot of attention paid to how John was basically copying his favorite cartoonists and artists--he even says at some point everything he does is Just William and Lewis Carroll. But somehow when he does it, it's extraordinary. He's got his own voice, while Paul is a talented parrot. Lewisohn gives props to all of Paul's many accomplishments but there's always either some kind of adjective like that to take away from it or this thing that creeps in where everything Paul does is for show. There are numerous places in Tune In where Paul is ostentatiously reading difficult books so he can be seen reading them. Anytime he's trying something new or going to explore a new art form or theater experience, Lewisohn has to point out that he wants to be seen to be doing something clever. When he writes songs, Lewisohn points out that he's not just writing songs, he's thinking about the image of being a writer or something like that. It's never because he's artistic, or likes the thing. He needs to be seen as someone liking the thing.

Now, we do have a quote from Paul about this. He does mention thinking about the image of a poet with the pipe and the leather patches, and he does at one point get a pipe and you know, famously pretend to be French to try to pull birds. (He does this again on that little week off he takes in France, years later, reminiscing about imagining he's a novelist in a cafe.) It's not that I'm saying Paul isn't capable of being pretentious! (I still have the beret I insisted on getting for my birthday when I was 16. I'm not immune. I still look great in it.) But Paul's, again, self-deprecating description of himself as a goofy teen appears to be the only 'proof' Lewisohn has that his reading, his art, his going to shows alone no one else cares about, is a pretense.

Again. It's not a huge deal and it's not like Paul didn't factually do all of this. It's that in a text that he's insisted in the front matter is free of speculation, Lewisohn's included numerous interpretations of Paul's (and others') motives without any direct proof/citation for those interpretations. That, I'm afraid, is speculative. And that's fine for an author to engage in--but he needs to be clear about it.

For the record he does this with John, too. He interprets numerous, sometimes almost contradictory actions of John's as "evidence" of his ability to lead. Sometimes he's like, in front and sometimes he's doing nothing and Lewisohn will conclude this was John also leading.

The point of all this isn't, like I said in my original post, that I think any one of these things is that bad. Paul's kinda pretentious? Maybe sometimes he did like to be seen reading War and Peace or whatever? Maybe John sitting back and watching what his mates are going to do is leadership? The problem, for me, is that it's not presented in a way that meets the premise of Lewisohn's introduction, which promises a work free of the prejudices and unsubstantiated speculation of his forebears. And I really do think that Lewisohn has convinced himself that he's done enough research and been a keen enough "Paul watcher" that it no longer counts as interpretation. I fear he may actually believe that he's done the math.

Again, I think you should read it. I loved the attention to detail and you'll get a lot out of it. But just be aware of this tendency, which I no longer think I'm imagining. And these are just the first two things I thought of and wanted to rant about.

[ducktracy]

Different anon here but can you go into more detail about how the original shorts are uncirculated and misinterpreted in certain fandom circles? I was under the impression that they were the most iconic and well-known versions of the characters and the other LT stuff wasn’t as popular.

I don’t want to go too in-depth about this because I don’t want to come off as hateful towards TLTS however I will say (with no disrespect towards people that like it and esp not the people that worked on it) that I feel the reason for its sudden resurgence has less to do about the show *in particular* but more how it presents the Looney Tunes cast in a consistent domestic setting with consistent characters—which is much more easily consumable for fandom than shorts with VERY little continuity and characterizations that could depend on director, year, or even just that short.

☝️this previous anon i just got completely hit the nail on the head and shares my sentiments exactly. The Looney Tunes Show hit a HUGE resurgence of popularity in the past few years (which is great, anything to get people interested in the characters) but i sometimes get the impression people wholly base their impressions on the characters off the show, and the show is VEEEERY far removed from the attitudes and personalities of the originals

i ALWAYS go on about him and have used this comparison countless times so i apologize for going on about it again, but a great example of this is Porky—i have a lot of issues as to how he’s portrayed in TLTS because he’s often portrayed as a helpless dweeb who everyone picks on and beats up and he’s just supposed to take it. this portrayal has sort of been adopted in a lot of modern LT media as a whole, but there’s a tendency to generalize characters, take one trait and run with it. Porky totally could be passive and a little dweebish in the originals (but often from a standpoint that paints it as endearing rather than mean spirited and sympathetic by proxy), but i have a hard time believing the same character who has spelled “START PRAYING DUCK” with a spray of bullets in the white flag Daffy was waving as a means of surrendering would totally be fine with having Daffy throw… was it butter? bread? i forget but there’s an ep of TLTS where Daffy lives with Porky and then just turns him into his personal assistant and throws stuff at him and Porky’s just fine with it. this is the same guy who nearly drove a domesticated dog to jump off a bridge and successfully shot a cat dead because it was keeping him awake

what little OF the originals is circulated again from a very fandom centric point of view… this isn’t an issue exclusive to the LT fandom, but viewing everything from a lens of “i MUST ship these two characters together everything has to be shippable” (i did this when i was first getting into things too—it’s a hard habit to break but i promise you do not have to ship anything and everything to get fulfillment) is so restrictive and makes people concoct their own personalities for the characters WHICH IS FINE, but trying to pass those interpretations off as cold hard fact is not so great. a lot of misrepresentation gets circulated that way and it all just kinda turns into one big loop

i realize how pompous i sound right now so i just want to say: don’t take any of this too seriously. my main point of this is to say curate your OWN experience and make opinions for yourself by watching the originals, and that INCLUDES me. if you watch the originals and don’t like them and want to keep doing things your way, DO IT! feel free to disregard all of this. i promise i’m speaking from a place of passion and love rather than scorn and gatekeeping. we all come from different places and have different points of view and different ways to experience things that we find the most fulfilling. if you enjoy shipping the characters and searching for a continuity and deeper meaning, that ROCKS and more power to you. i just wish more people would check out the originals or at least base those headcanons with an acknowledgement of the original mindset in mind, because i feel much of the popular consensus on the characters ranges from generalized/surface level to wholly misrepresented.

to say people have to enjoy and experience LT a particular way is totally wrong, and HAVING FUN should be a priority first and foremost. but i really do think you should familiarize yourself with the source material so you can have an understanding of what’s actually there versus so you can build off of that or at least acknowledge it. the LT characters are not one big happy family, they’re not ALWAYS actors unless explicitly stated otherwise, there are trends and continuous character traits or formulas for certain characters, yes, but the shorts themselves have no continuity. these characters change constantly in the originals. there are at times 3 separate conflicting interpretations of the same character at the same TIME from different characters. some people have a tendency to view that as a sign of weakness, and that’s WHY i encourage people to check out the originals because that variety and humanization and FEELING THE HANDS AND MINDS AND BACKGROUNDS THAT MADE THE CARTOONS is such a fulfilling and UNIQUE experience. revel in the variety and confusion and dissonance of the originals. there doesn’t always have to be an explanation or an end justifying the means. it’s 7 minutes of characters beating each other up, saying funny lines, and making outdated radio or celebrity references. enjoy it for what it is

[starsailorstories]

In my second drafts of the trilogy, something I’m trying to focus on is making it more felt that Lux not being able to project is seen as a profound cognitive and social disability, akin to a person having a flat affect or being nonverbal because of a physical or neurological difference among humans. I’d already given a lot of thought to how projection affects entrenched aspects of astraea cultures--the Ashtivans used it for navigation and storytelling; lux units can use it process communications signals into something akin to a TV broadcast; polite, correct and “beautiful” projection is a major part of the expected social mores of Basilean society to the point where i.e. Cepheid as a cultural transplant who also just simply has her own way of speaking that is natural to her was criticized constantly as a child for projecting too big and too bright.

Conversational projections are arbitrary abstract symbols--like all language--rather than like, emojis, and they’re often borderline involuntary, like a facial expression or cussing when you stub your toe. What I’ve been thinking about now is what that looks like in everyday speech and while part of it is quick little abstract shapes that fly across the space between speakers, like gestures or sign language, I’m also realizing that (especially in informal settings) astraeas would frequently use projection as just silent reactions to things happening, which is an utterly Wile E. Coyote-ass vibe. Wiping out while running and just sitting up with a little silent “yikes” over your head and the like. There’s a little phatic projected pattern that if you were to put it in words would mean something like “i’m fine” or “don’t worry about me” which is constantly utilized for comedy in visual media. Silent exchanges from across a room can be quite detailed because of the range of combination of face, gesture, and projection afforded (Hyperian court sign language grew out of this sort of thing). Just a dump of thoughts but may become a more detailed worldbuilding post with pictures someday if my joints ever calm tf down stay tuned

[saltyxtides]

ROWAN DELACOUR.  

It was probably best they ignored everything anyhow. The real Bayden didn’t seem to think the real Celestis was contributing much of substance at the moment anyhow.

“That is exactly what all your option plans would do. Ruin everything with my family. When you hear my life. You’ll get it a little better. But, fine. I get it. Tune the guitar. Gotta heal or train or whatever before we can get back to normal. I’ve told you many times. I’m not stupid. I can understand things if you just say them normal instead of trying to overcomplicate everything all the time. Sometimes less is more. If anyone needs to learn that lesson, it is you.”

That was their big constructive criticism for the day and compliment at the same time because she finally managed to condense a little more than normal.  

Then he looked across at her and she wasn’t a she. She was a he. She was him literally, his very own face. That took some getting used to.

Start where they felt comfortable. Whenever they were ready. Ugh. They’d known each other for so long. It was so weird to finally be giving the actual details, but they couldn’t live like this if she didn’t get what she was involved in now. They had to spill it all. They suddenly felt like they were going to vomit.

“Okay. I’m going to. I’m just. Okay.”

How to start?

“I’m just going to try and take my own advice and try to make this as simple as possible. Get it all out there. Fill in the details after. Maybe yeah. We’ll see.”

They were breathing weird just thinking about it all.

“Okay here goes. My sister is the Horrorville Hacker. She killed all those people back then. Mom hid the bodies. I was set up to take the fall because she never liked me. I thought it was because I wasn’t a girl with power like Monty. I couldn’t get in that stupid coven she wanted to get in herself so bad, but she didn’t have powers either. The rest of the family does. It skipped Mom. Just unlucky I guess. Monty was everything Mom wanted to be. The perfect daughter. But it wasn’t because I was a boy or didn’t have power. I was never wanted just some accident of rape okay?”

Their face screwed up and they looked away as they said it. It was not exactly the sort of thing they ever told anyone actually, so trying to get them to understand their family dynamics was difficult.

“I don’t belong on this fucking earth. I shouldn’t fucking exist and it started to make sense at that point why Monty got everything bigger and better and blah. So, when I found out the truth of who I was all I ever thought about was my father who I didn’t know, never met, never named. But, I found out. Long story short. When I found out I killed him. So, I deserve to be prison. I do. I’m a murderer. I may not be the Horrorville Hacker serial killer but I killed that mother fucker dead for what he did to my mom and what he did to my life, this stupid life I didn’t ask for.”

Their eyes were getting emotional.

“So um... when they set me up to take the fall for those murders I didn’t care. Fuck it. I knew I deserved to be here anyway. No one’s ever finding his body I promise you that and I am not sorry and if this is my penance so be it and Mom knows I see it that way. Yeah, she knows because in the start I didn’t even know my mom knew it was my sister who was doing it. I thought she set up this whole program and paid for all these fancy lawyers to get me into this mental place instead of prison because she could get me here with her. Basically this whole program is bullshit for other patients. It was created literally just for me to not go to prison and keep me near my mom. The rest is filler. Your treatment is bullshit and pays for their lifestyle. I was wrongfully accused. Monty had a future. I didn’t. I’m sick anyway. I’m a fucking loser. Fuck it. At least she could take care of me. Better me than Monty.

“How wrong I was. Monty still does crazy shit like this to this day. Mom’s still covering her tracks, burying bodies. It’s been years. They’re just better at it. She comes in and visits me and tells me all about it. I’m her brother. She loves me. I’ve given her a free life. She owes everything to me taking this one for the fam so she can be Mommy’s perfect little girl and I want her to be that. Mom should have that. But, she’s got Monty, so close enough. It’s what’s she’s got.

“But listen to this. When mom found out I killed he rapist, my father, whatever you want to call that motherfucker, everything changed. I think I started to become her favorite. Monty was causing all this stress. She kept promising to stop the chaos and it just kept happening. Mom always playing damage control. Then she’s got me. Her sweet boy who avenged her and sits pretty to keep her real daughter safe. I start making her rich with this program. You make fun of Princess Bayden but I earned that spot on that throne. My mom has broken down crying apologizing for all of this. She takes care of me and I take of her.

“Things aren’t as cut and dry as they look around here. We can’t just back out and tell the truth. She doesn’t deserve that. Monty’s in control. I just want to keep my family together. At least... sometimes. Sometimes I want to run the fuck away and never come back. But, where would I go?” They shrugged. “I shouldn’t fucking exist anyway.”

That felt like enough of the story to soak in so far. Let them process on that.

“But see? Switching bodies with anyone else would put everyone in the wrong position to do their jobs here in the cover up and continued serial killing and witch entrapping. I’m in here so Monty can be out there growing stronger. She has supreme potential. All the coven leaders say it.”

Witch entrapping.

They’d let that one linger too.

       THIS was about Bayden, more than it was about themselves.  The only thing they had to lose, was well, there l i f e.  Maybe . . . they didn’t want to think about the theory Leo left behind what felt like decades ago since they met before they came here.  The years have certainly gone by so fast that they didn’t realize how long they’ve really been in the Asylum.  Honestly, they were doing GOOD, up until n o w.  && instead of arguing with Bayden anymore, or digging a bigger grave for themselves with the disarray chaos in front of them making things evidently worse.  

       “FINE.” As if they would take what they said in mind.  While it’s not a matter of s t u p i d, they never really thought Bayden was that, but a matter of how much his family keeps Bayden in the dark.  Not that they themselves help in that matter.  To much or to little they weren’t sure how to go about expressing it.  It’s also worse. . . processing it all in this body of Bayden’s.  It’s much harder to think, as much as it was harder to function.  Bayden’s NAIVE-n e s s was not stupid.

       ‘ Take a picture it will last longer PRINCESS, ’ it was like the words wanted to come out, as it was on the tip of there tongue as they felt Bayden stare at them like a object.  Holding it in.  Hazy as there memories where, they tried a kinder approach, getting a sense none of the transfer between them was easy.  Taking Bayden’s hand instead they gently pushed Rowan softly on the shoulder.  Hopefully breaking the stare down, before they concentrated too hard && who knows what magical accident would happen.

       No defense against a Witch with a spell at the tip of her tongue, or a little witch that doesn’t know the telekinetic prowess they hold.  Thankfully only one of them vomited.  So kudos to Bayden’s inner-will.  Unlike Bayden, they purged.  It shows it’s never really easy to talk about the past.  Only now that they were forgetting, they were feeling empty in some way, as if the past would fill the emptiness regardless of how bad it was.  Leaning back, propping themselves up on there elbows.  Preparing themselves.  Not sure what was going to be said.

      The visage of Bayden looked really upset.  They kept running one of there hands through black hair && shook there head a little.  Listening.  It was a lot to take in.  Being in the process of another person’s body, it took longer to process with. . .disabilities Bayden had.  It was harder to process it all quickly.

       Death.

       Murder.

       Rape.

       A boy that loves his family regarding the rot && ruin.  Clinging on to it too.

       Breaking News.

       Bayden deserved better.

       It all felt sensitive to talk about - felt like some they ought to keep a lot of it to themselves.  After all, they cared for Bayden immensely && already knew though there friendship was six feet deep underground && dying.  They didn’t need to push them into the grave itself.  Pointing out his sister.  The flaws.  The irresponsibility.  Potential was just a nice way to say Monty was SPECIAL.  Breaking down the idea of false potential his sister really had.  It would be like arguing about Dracula.  He’s not after Lucy to offer his eternal, undying love && devotion.  

       He wants to drink her dry - an ocean of blood wouldn’t have satisfied his thirst.  Where Monty stood, there was blood in the sand, && if she was killing her own kind for power . . . It’s only going to be a matter of time before reality sinks in.  She’s no different then a modern day Dracula, just a copy cat of someone else in a different form.  Being the next Coven Supreme is already predetermined by nature itself, It’s not something someone can truly steal away, fake, even someone like themselves couldn’t steal it forever.

       Not that they would.  They also couldn’t bring the fact even if Monty made it.  The DEATH would never s t o p.  The killings would keep happening.  It’s something that’s going to follow her until the CULT members turns on the f a l s e  l e a d e r.  Once they figure out there own are dying, && Monty kills the wrong Witch.  If Bayden had strong family ties, then one day Monty is going to meet someone with those same && strong family/best friend/lovers values ready to unravel the truth.  A riot will begin.  Figuring out the truth && the whole truth.

       Killing one another in the process.  It gave them to much of a headache to consider the aftermath.  The once upon a time fear what they could truly lose.  The body they might have been born from, if there not already dead.  Or on Monty’s soon to be list. Monty could be compared to a modern day Dracula in many ways, though they still saw them as an overgrown turkey.  In the end of all this?  They didn’t need to destroy Bayden.  They just needed to be with him for support?  As they’ll have a lot of time to think about Dr. Wardeyn. . .

       “I’m sorry,” They said soberly, as that wasn’t very comforting finally finding the power to talk.  “I don’t have any answers about how to make any of this better, Bayden.”

       “All I know is that we are here.  We exist.”  Even if it’s messed up.

       “You can leave!  Run away from all this, go be Rowan Delacour.  You’re a Delacour now.  Nnn.  You’re in Rowan’s body anyway.  You can LITERALLY go a n y w h e r e.”  && yet still stay in the same place all at once.  Not that it’ll help them understand.  The Bloodline in a Witch, or the body he inhabits can take him literally anywhere he’s ever dreamed through books.  Perhaps not in the way they imagine freedom would be, but Bayden would find out sooner or later, after they adjust, && with guidance when there ready.

       A Magical Historian.  Not that they ever adjusted to that one type set.  They missed there own talents, && the comfort of there own body.  But it’s complicated.  Doubting.  Falling in a spiral of loss, as if, gravity was setting in && making it feel it was a nearly impossible feat.  A part of them realized, with the truth underneath Bayden’s words.  It’s kind of a Doll House Community. . . Now there was even more pressure in realizing: Just a plaything or a Body to experiment with.  

       Only when there in the right body. . . but even then how do they even know when tides turn. . .

       “But there’s no shame in you deserting this place Bayden.  You know where to find yourself.  It’s not like I’ll be going anywhere anytime soon you do know that right?”  Grounding themselves, they just have to play the role of Bayden from memory.  “You’ve lived your entire life in a bubble.  In here.  Things happen for a reason, maybe you should consider the chance you have now.  To escape it for a while.”  

       “While I’m being you.”

       “Not destroying your life’s work.”

[asklittlepip]

And by the way, we’re up to six mass shootings today and over 300 this year. The media is just covering the story below because it’s resulted in the most casualties, and apparently if nobody dies then injuries aren’t important enough to even mention...

Do I believe in the right of the people to arm themselves; not just against tyranny but also in self-defense? Absolutely. I’m perma-disabled, practically a cripple. Without a gun, I’d have little recourse against an attacker. But your rights end where others’ begin, and it’s why we require people to obtain licenses that entail various forms of testing to drive cars, handle dangerous chemicals or even just to do someone’s fucking hair!

A thousand hours of practice is required in Texas to style someone’s ‘do, for those who don’t click the above. And not a single hour at the range.

This cannot continue.

We need education, training and safety programs as part of what you need to legally own a gun, and with federal standards; but keep other specifics on the state level, because I sure as hell don’t want Big Brother to make ANY sort of database on it’s citizenry as that’d be ripe for abuse. Rural communities also have vastly different needs than urban ones, so other details should be local, and easier to fine-tune over time. Improved mental healthcare services & evaluations will also need to be part of this, or it won’t work, as you can’t complete a puzzle with only some of the pieces.

These half-assed measures Democrats push or the completely unrestricted ones that Republicans champion do not work. Now, I’m sure I am overlooking things in these few paragraphs, both subtle and obvious, which is why any such laws also need be written by a collaboration of many different minds. I think we call that.. democracy! Until then, I ask, how many more times does this need to happen before anything changes?

...

Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

Oh, and to the geniuses who are like “Errrr, that won’t stop criminals!”, you can go step on a rusty nail, of course it friggin’ won’t. But that doesn’t mean we legalize murder or rape either. Prevention is the best cure, and that’s universal. It’s an ardous task to find a needle in a haystack, but it’s pretty easy to locate one on top of an empty desk..

I can go on and on with details, like how there’d have to be extensive grandfather clauses, things that take into account military service or other formal training, making licenses cheap / free so as not to violate the 2nd Amendment or discriminate against the poor, and so on.

Come on! DO SOMETHING, ASSHOLES!

[trainsinanime]

Ich habe 5.537 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 1.381 more posts als 2021!

601 Einträge erstellt (11%)

4.936 Einträge gerebloggt (89%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@galahadwilder

@flightfoot

@gentil-minou

@dingdongyouarewrong

@into-september

Ich habe 4.137 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

Nur 25% meiner Einträge hatten keine Tags

#miraculous ladybug – 3.099 Einträge

#spy x family – 135 Einträge

#bakery enemies au – 124 Einträge

#eurovision – 71 Einträge

#ml season 5 spoilers – 70 Einträge

#ml spoilers – 63 Einträge

#ml s5 spoilers – 53 Einträge

#marigami – 46 Einträge

#eurovision song contest – 40 Einträge

#ml elation spoilers – 30 Einträge

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#always remember weredad the basics of that situation haven’t really changed except he’s gotten even more unwilling to date anyone but ladybu

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Kim: Man, this Monarch guy sucks ass. I'm glad that Hawkmoth dude is gone, though.

Alya: What? No, it's the same man. He just uses a different name now.

Kim: Huh? Oh, I get it! Is this like how Marinette dresses up and calls herself Ladybug sometimes?

Alya: What? No she doesn't! …who told you?

Kim: Wait, that was supposed to be a secret? Oh shit, sorry!

Kim: How about Adrien and Chat Noir, is that a secret too?

884 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 6. November 2022

#4

Since I just saw some Ao3 discourse across my dash again, I just want to say: I think it would be great if there was a similar site to Ao3 that was explicitly kid-friendly and heavily moderated. I’m against turning Ao3 into that site, but I think it would be good if that site existed. I don’t care enough to actually make it happen myself, but I’d probably cross-post some of my stories there and maybe donate to keep it running. This is not meant as some sort of gotcha, I think people should really get on that because it would be a net good for fandom overall.

1.650 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 19. Oktober 2022

#3

The love square in Miraculous Ladybug seems so simple (“hey, that Superman-Lois-Clark thing? What if it went both ways?”), but I am in awe of how finely tuned and balanced it is. Both to make it plausible, and to make it interesting.

The show goes to great lengths to show that all sides (and in particular the two main ones) are absolutely realistic options if it weren’t for the rest. Adrien always liked Marinette and has been positively smitten with her since about season 2. Ladybug was always fond of Chat Noir and this has only increased. The one major time where Ladybug officially rejected Chat Noir, in Glaciator, was also one of the softest and genuinely most romantic moments between the two.

And at the same time, they didn’t make it too simple. The love square is not symmetric when you look at the details. Marinette’s feelings for Adrien and Chat Noir mirror his for Ladybug and Marinette to some extent at a very high level, but if you look down at the details, they’re all developing differently, at different paces, for different reasons, all the time. Chat Noir is the big romantic flirt. Marinette is head over heels and thwarted by anxiety. Both like grand gestures, but for Marinette it’s gifts, for Chat Noir it’s big events.

The show looks so simple, and I guess parts of it are. But the way our heroes interact in the love square is anything but, and that’s what makes it so much fun to watch.

2.190 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 7. Juli 2022

#2

Idea: Reverse Marichat. Marinette is out and night and sees Chat Noir sitting on some random balcony. So she scales up some trees, a gutter pipe and a window to come to him and see what’s up.

3.630 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 1. Oktober 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Honestly, society has lost something big when they started putting ads on “Never Gonna Give You Up”. It used to be you clicked a link, and you heard that synth music and you just groaned. Nowadays, you see a link, go, “that might be Rick Astley”, then you click it, Youtube plays an ad for dog food and you see below that is indeed Rick Astley. You go, “ah, yes, that was indeed a link to that music video. Do I feel like watching the video today or not? Probably  not, but I have the entire ad time to decide”. It’s essentially a global “do you really want to get Rickrolled?” filter.

This is really one of the best and most important reasons for using an adblocker: So you can get the proper rickroll experience. Here are some good ones for your platform.

42.217 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 19. Januar 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[cafecourage]

Had not thought that far into it, I’ll need to let the idea simmer for a bit before I have all the details. But yes. I am magical girl now.

Warning: long ask — at least on mobile as I’m typing. This got a little ramble-y since I started talking about my main OC’s powers.

Yes, I have a guardian. But I’ve got no clue as to who they are or when I got the egg. I assume I had it for a while.

To answer your question of what powers in my au of your au where I’ve inserted myself, I’m going with my typical OC’s powers for the sake of my brain cells (just woke up and am on Tumblr to try and get brain to agree that sleep is done).

Soul magic (sort of? I don’t like the word soul but have yet to come up with a better word — in my overly complicated botw au is a more intense version of the aura magic that most people have).

I can sense the magical essence (aura) of all living beings. But that sense is more fine tuned, so I can also tell the intention behind every spell before it’s fully cast. I start with support magic, able to boost the spells of others around me (including boosting plants/animals nearby so they can protect me in the field even though I do use a sword/bow thing? Not entirely sure lol). If I try hard enough, usually results in at least a killer headache if not outright passing out, I can muffle or cancel out the spells of others.

Eventually, after being stuck somewhere with a super powerful big boss with nothing else alive around, I realize I’ve been an idiot and that I can use my powers on my own soul. And that it’s a lot more effective that way. (This is what I get for doing what’s traditionally taught for relatively “weak” combat powers like mine instead of carving my own path 🙄)

I then learn how to harden my own magic essence and can use it as a shield or a weapon. My weapon I mentioned earlier is magic and I can now pass my magic through it and it becomes able to keep up with magical combat.

That’s about when Time stops giving me grief about the field being dangerous.

Second part of your question: does Wind know who I am and do I go on magical girl adventures with him? At first, nope he’s got no clue, but yes I do :)

I don’t recognize him at first, because I would assume the whole guardian transformation thing would change one’s magic signature a bit, so with just the the unenhanced aura magic (that never goes away for me. As soon as I realize that particular sixth sense is *not* normal I start to question whether or not I’m completely human — yeah, I don’t know how to explain that. Can you tell these powers weren’t designed for this AU? Lol) Once I realize that I wouldn’t be sure anymore.

I do figure it out eventually, but I’m not gonna tell him. At least not yet. I still haven’t fully realized that not everyone has the ability to recognize magic auras to the same degree I do while transformed. I just assume he already knows and hasn’t said anything, so I don’t either.

And no, I don’t have a tag. I’m hereby claiming funfetti cake.

- Glitter ✨

oh man, this sounds like the Super Hero I made for my thesis film. Instead of spirit energy/aura, it was light manipulation.

I imagine you are all decked out like a mage/oracle. You can fight with a crystal ball!! Or like a telescope. OR A CAMERA.

TAKE A PICTURE OF THE PERSON AND YOU CAN BE ABLE TO MATERIALIZE THE ENERGY OR THAT'S HOW YOU CAN SEE IT!

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.

[marta-bee]

I was talking to my brother today about open-carry laws  He’s much more of a gun enthusiast than me, though to be fair he’s also a very responsible gun owner, and doesn’t oppose certain forms of reasonable regulation. We disagree on what counts as reasonable, but he’s very much in favor of (say) gun regulation, mandatory training, civil liability for gun-related injuries, all that.

But he’s against restricting open-carry licenses in a big way, because for him this isn’t about gun safety nearly so much as suppressing freedom of speech. I actually agree to a point: from a safety perspective, people obviously carrying a gun aren’t any more likely to hurt people than those carrying it hidden. And I do think people in a situation have a right to know if the other people around them are armed. But this idea he recognized open carry was more about communicating something than arming yourself is fascinating to me, because what did he think he was communicating? The best I can work out, it’s a right to intimidate, or perhaps a right to more power over other people than they have over them. A right to exist in a shared space and still be fiercely independent, perhaps? Something like that.

Which is just such an odd conception of free speech to me. Expression, sure, though that’s not what I’d consider a positive trait I’d want others to associate with me. To each his own, I guess. But freedom of speech seems like something very different.

To be clear, I’m not talking about a 1st Amendment-style legal freedom of speech so much as the value. I’m not a legal expert, but what I understand of it, the legal freedom of speech is mostly about what we can say to the government and what the government can do to restrict our speech. Person to person seems different legally, and it’s why “cancelling” or boycotting someone for their views is legal. But aside from the law, there’s a civic value of freely exchanging ideas, maybe not everywhere and in all circumstances, but making a space for people to say incorrect, hateful and even offensive things.

I’m thinking of the philosophical idea, like from Locke and J.S. Mill and the like. I’ll spare you the full intro-philosophy lecture, and obviously they differ in the details, but when you ask why free speech is a good thing, usually you get a few arguments. One is a very libertarian (philosophy-libertarian, not Ron Paul ‘24 style) point: freedom is what matters and we should let everyone have as much freedom as they can, at least to the point it restricts someone else’s freedom. I’m not convinced of that, because while freedom is good, I don’t think it’s the only good, and the hateful things people say often do a lot of harm in other areas. But even if you agree with that, open-carry the way my brother’s talking about it very much is restricting other folks’ freedom. They’re right to come into a public space and not be frightened. The sort of democracy of all neighbors, to be on equal footing and not have some force others to essentially step aside and give them a wide berth.

There are other arguments. Good ideas, like scientific principles, are only fine-tuned and improved by being challenged. But challenged in a productive way. Not ridiculed or drowned out by all the news, but challenged in a way where people have a chance to offer their evidence, their criticisms. There can be a fair hearing, and if they’re valid the idea can and should be improved. But just screaming so you drown everyone else is something different. And from the other side, bad ideas are shown to be bad, so rational people who’ve latched on to a wrong or harmful idea for whatever reason have a chance to improve themselves. And related to that... hatred doesn’t like exposure. It thrives in privacy, and often when people express bigoted ideas, over time that’s what prompts them to evolve. Maybe not in the moment, and it really does require a safe space where they feel comfortable to let their guard down.  But there’s a real kindness toward our friends and families when we give them the chance to talk about those ideas. It’s like lancing an infection, which can be the best thing for it, even if the skin all around gets covered in pus, and provided you have antiseptics on hand.

Here’s the thing, though. All that involves exchange, not just expression. Giving people a bully pulpit where they can just say what they think without having to listen probably actually does more harm than good to the person doing the speech. And it’s sure as hell not pleasant for the rest of us.

I think that’s really where I am with free speech, why I think it’s good. If you really think (say) the Holocaust never happened or white people are the real victims of racism these days or some such (which said brother does not!).... well, if you have a point I actually want to hear it. And if that point is good, it’s so different from everything I believe, I’m going to have to think it through, but if you’re right, that’s definitely something I’m going to need to account for, I’m going to want to hear your explanations and ask some hard questions so I can really understand and evaluate that point. And if you don’t have a good point, it’s a kindness to you to let you say it out loud anyway. So long as part of that saying it out loud involves actually hearing what you’ve said, and what I have to say in response (beyond that’s hateful; moving on to that’s just not true and here’s why). Especially if we have any kind of a loving relationship, if you’re my neighbor and fellow citizen or even closer, my friend or my family, I want you to be able to get that pus out from under your skin and pack the wound with gauze and give you an antibiotic or two so you have the chance to heal. I want you to say it, hear what you said, and really think through what your having said it means.

Which is worlds away from just anyone should be able to say anything they want, and certainly from “I get to say what I want and you don’t.” It’s a key difference, and at the heart of why free speech is actually worth protecting, at least for me.