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a-monsters-love · 5 years ago

Text

Distance - Soulmate AU

Gif found [here]

[Master List]

Aizawa Shouta x Reader

Summary: When we turn 8 our dreams don’t just become our own. We don’t know when it started but we start to share our dream scape with our soulmates. The closer we are to them the better we can hear them in our dreams, the farther we are the less we can hear them. When the other wakes you get a small, very brief, glimpse of the world around them. If soulmates have different sleeping schedules then the dreams you have without them you typically won’t remember.

Genre: oh it’s fluffy y’all

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: mild swearing, implied abuse, quotes from the MHA Vigilantes series, native language I’m using for y/n is English

A/N: I’ve always wanted to write a Soulmate AU ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡. And y/n’s quirk is based off of Jinx from the Teen Titans lmao

With love to my favorite bby who helped me form the ideas for this @eraser-baby

(Y/N) = Your Name (H/C) = Hair Color (E/C) = Eye Color (H/L) = Home Land i.e country of origin (N/L) = Native Language

————————————

If you’ve learned anything in your life it’s that girls love talking about soulmates. Sure, it’s romantic and very fairytale-esk but isn’t there anything better to talk about? You sighed as your classmate gawks about her soulmate and what they did together in her dreams. “Come on (Y/N)! Tell us about your soulmate! You never participate in these conversations!” Your friend says. The other girls in the locker room agree and you let you head drop back dramatically.

You roll you neck and look at each of them, “I don’t have one.” You shrugged, “I don’t have anything to offer.” Their faces grow visibly shocked at your statement but you weren’t one to lie, “Don’t look at me like that. Come on, we have to get to training.” The last thing you want is for them to pity you. Pity for not having a soulmate was the last thing you should ever receive pity for, not with how your life was. You couldn’t help but huff at the idea as you pulled your gym shirt over the scars that were riddled all over your skin.

——

“You’re lying!” Oboro accused his friend, “No one just doesn’t have a soulmate!” His nagging on the topic has only gotten worse as his friendship with Aizawa Shouta went on.

Hizashi chuckled, “He’s telling the truth, I don’t believe he doesn’t have one either though. They’ve just never met.”

Shouta groaned at the conversation, “If I have one I’ve never met them, not having one makes more sense.” He shrugged, “I mean, it’s been 7 years and I’ve had zero contact.” Oboro groaned into the pillows on Shouta’s bed in frustration. “We have like 30 more minutes to study before we should get to sleep.” He tapped the textbook in his hand.

Not having a soulmate was unheard of, both of you knew this. Both of you were certain that the other died or you were an anomaly in the universe. Of course you both would enjoy it but neither of you cared enough to worry about something you didn’t have.

———

“Come on, (Y/N)! You can do better than that!” Your gym instructor yelled, you hissed at how sore you were but knew it would be worth it. You weren’t in the heroics course for nothing, you were here to prove your quirk wasn’t villainous.

“Fuck.” You huffed to yourself, you propelled yourself up and bent low towards you opponent. You pressed your hands to the ground letting magenta hues blast from your hands to destroy the field directly in front of you. Having the quirk ‘Jinx’ also referred to as ‘Probability Manipulation’ will make you malleable for hero work but took twice as much training.

The earth cracked towards your opponent causing them to fall, only to kick a decent sized chunk of stone towards you. The impact knocked you unconscious.

You hit the ground hard, “FUCK.” You yelled, “Why didn’t I go for the knee caps? Should I just strike them with Bad Luck?” You start rambling before realizing you don’t recognize where you were. You look around and see blue skies and tall grass surrounding you, you see a boy with messy ebony and dark eyes staring at you in surprise. You look at yourself, still in your gym uniform, and then back at him. “What?” You hiss at him.

Shouta looks over you, the way your (H/C) hair framed your face. He visibly gulps at the way your (E/C) eyes bore into him, he knew who you were immediately. He opens his mouth to speak but you started to fade.

When he doesn’t respond you squint at him before waking up. Shouta catches a brief glimpse of your fight, it’s day light where you’re at. You’re face was stoic as blood ran down it when you shove yourself off the ground and sling two magenta crescents at your attacker from your hands before the vision stops.

Shouta jumps out of his bed in a panic, he looks around and see’s Oboro and Hizashi asleep on his bedroom floor. Hizashi stirs and rubs his eyes, “What’s wrong listener?” He mutters, still half asleep.

“I think I just found out why I hadn’t met my soulmate before.” He huffs out, catching his breath. Hizashi’s eyes widen in surprise and elbows Oboro awake to listen to him explain his dream.

“I fucking knew it.” Oboro whisper yells as he sits up from under his blanket.

“It was so weird though, I could see them talking but I couldn’t hear them.” Shouta pushes his hair back with one hand.

“Well you said it was day time for them so they must not live in Japan.” Hizashi suggests, the three agree and drop the subject to go back to sleep. Shouta wouldn’t admit it but he was excited, and relieved. He’s glad you’re alive.

You’re sent to nurses office after you finish your match to bandage up your wound. You can’t get the image of the strange dark haired boy from your mind but decide not to worry about it. “Weird dream.” You mumble to yourself, rationalizing it as dreaming of someone you’ve met before or some nonsense dream. The fact of meeting your soulmate was the farthest thing from your mind.

———

Shouta tries his best to catch you at random hours in the day for him, he justifies it as looking for confirmation but isn’t able to catch you. “When does she sleep?” He groans to his friend, he’s tried his best but there’s only so much sleeping he can squeeze into his school schedule before getting into trouble.

“I’ve never seen you so devoted to something.” Oboro teases giving him a wide toothy smile.

Shouta rolls his eyes, “I’m getting the feeling I just hallucinated the whole thing.” He presses his face into his hands with a groan. “I just want to know if it was real..”

His two friends chuckle and pat his back, “Give it time man.” They reassured him.

———

You on the other hand hadn’t thought much of the incident again for months, you didn’t have time to. You went to school, did homework in the library, trained and only went home to sleep. You tried to avoid your foster parents as best as you could, knowing the consequences of disturbing them. Your focus was on your heroics work and aging out of the system.

Over a year had passed and you had completely forgotten about the incident. Shouta had given up trying to track you down, your soulmates, you’re meant to run into each other at some point, right?

“The three of us should open up our own agency!” Oboro said over lunch one day. Shouta hummed in curiosity, “I think we work well together.” He took another bite of his lunch, “Take you for example, Shouta. You’re not the type to get action started on your own, but you’re always sweating the small stuff. You’ll add a layer of polish to everything!” Oboro smiles wide and slings his arm around Hizashi’s neck and pulling him closer. “Cause we suck at it!” The two laughed loudly.

“Yeah… I guess so.” Shouta frowned at the idea. “You two share the same two brains cells.” His friends laughed harder and the conversation continued.

“We could recruit your soulmate!” Oboro adds.

“You said they looked like they were in hero training.” Hizashi adds.

A light blush heats Shouta’s cheeks and his brows knit. “That feels like a cop out.” Shouta mumbles, “I should be able to stand on my own before asking for someone else’s help.” He scowled at his bento.

———

You were taking a break from your morning jog by laying in the grass on your schools campus. “(Y/N)?” You hear, you stretch your neck and look in the direction of the voice. “You’re here early.” Your teacher says, look at their watch. “Very early.” They hum the last part and sit next to you.

“Yeah, I just prefer jogging on a track.” You make an excuse, you didn’t want to talk about your home life with a teacher. Knowing it would make things messy, you continued. “I’m just an early bird, I like to stay busy, ya’ know?” You smiled at them and chuckled a bit.

They hummed in understanding, “Your performance has gone up a lot. Are you still planning on being - as you say - a freelance hero?” They question, nudging you with their knee.

You smile wide and look at the clouds above you. “Yeah, I’ve always wanted to travel.” You hum and talk about all the places you’ve read about, not sure where you’ll end up.

Your teacher hums at the idea, they’re a retired hero. “I wish I had that mindset when I was your age.” You both chuckle and you hop upright, offering a hand for them to get up. “Is your soulmate a hero or a hero in training?”

You freeze at the question, dusting yourself off as an excuse for your silence. “I dunno, I’ve never met them.” You shrug at their confused look. “I’m gonna run a few more laps and I’ll be out of your hair.” You smile politely and run off.

“Don’t over do it, (Y/N)!” They yell out to you. “You’ll get sick!”

You wave at them in acknowledgement, you think about their words for the rest of the morning. You remember one of your friends mentioning how most soulmates quirks are typically balanced matches for each other. You have a mutation quirk so you doubted the validity. “What could balance with Bad Luck?” You question aloud.

“Something to get rid of the bad luck I imagine.” One of your classmates chirped, you jumped at the sudden appearance. “I wonder if your Jinx quirk is the reason you haven’t met yet.” They further suggest.

You hum at the idea, that would make sense. Not that you had any clue as to what would but you didn’t let it bother you too much, having an answer satiated your curiosity.

It wasn’t until you got knocked out again that your curiosity was piqued again. You sat in a field of tall grass and flowers, you looked over yourself and realized your in your gym uniform. You snap your fingers and imagined your favorite outfit. When it appeared on your body you figured it was a dream.

You stood and looked around and saw the same ebony haired boy staring at you. He sat against a tree in the shade, a breeze blew in and brushed the hair out of his face. You gave him a once over, noting it’s the same boy from a year prior and waved at him. A blush dusted his cheeks and he shyly waved back. You walked towards him, squatting in front of his figure and tilted your head. “You stare too much.” You said, his brows knitted. “What?” You questioned, he was quite cute now that you had a better look at him. He looked at you the way a wet kitten looked at a passerby in the rain, confused and nervous but full of hope.

Shouta watched you appear in his dream, you appeared out of nowhere. You faced away from him, he couldn’t see anything but your (H/C) hair at first. When you stood he was able to take in your figure, you were beautiful. He could see the confidence radiating off of you in the way you carried yourself. When you squatted in front of him he felt like the dream was almost real. When he watched you speak he noted that he couldn’t hear anything again. “I can’t hear you.” He pointed from his mouth to his ear and shook his head. He watched you make a small frown and plop down to sit. You stared at each other for a moment, taking in each others existences. His eyes scanned the visible scars littering your skin, you watched the way his cheeks heated as he shamelessly checked you out. It wasn’t until you visibly looked like a lightbulb popped with an idea that his attention was pulled back to reality. You smirked and closed your eyes, two whiteboards appeared in front of you with markers.

You handed him one and started to write, ‘Hello, where are you?’ You wrote, flipping the board around and waved at him. He squinted at the letters on the board, understanding what you wrote by your body language. English is a required language to learn in Japan but he wasn’t the greatest at it. When he wrote a greeting on the board you frowned again, not recognizing the language, this time you imagined a globe and two pins, a purple one for him and a yellow one for you. You scanned the globe and put a pin in your general location and pointed from the pin to yourself with a soft smile, he felt his heart flutter at your smile. You handed him the globe and the black pin, he looked at where you were and frowned himself as he put his own in. Shouta handed you the globe and you frowned again as you looked at the two locations, he was in Japan. It makes sense that you’ve never met, the difference in your time zones was vastly different.

You grabbed the whiteboard again, ‘Well Fuck.’ You wrote down your name and pointed at yourself. Shouta did the same and you two briefly practiced writing each other’s name before you disappeared. He watched the glimpse of you again, you were in a nurses office and he watched you shoot up and frown at your friend. Your (E/C) eyes light up and the machinery around you spark and popped. He watched your friends phone explode and you just shrugged when the vision stopped. He practiced writing all the things your wrote in his dream before he woke himself.

When he did wake up he wrote everything he practiced in his notebook and brought it to school. He showed Hizashi and Oboro what you said and told them what country you were in. The two laughed louder than necessary at your words “She wrote ‘Well fuck’ at the fact that you’re so far.” Oboro snorted, “I like her already.” Shouta rolled his eyes, but held a small smile as if to say ‘me too.’

Moving forward he works on his English better than he had before, and you made it your mission to learn Japanese. In the random and few dreams you shared you practiced each other’s language, using the near magic of the dreamscape to correct each other. Even though you couldn’t hear each other you each made the other practice writing short notes you could remember when waking up to make the process easier. Things to the degree of ‘work on pronouncing hard letters like L’s and R’s first’.

You hadn’t seen Shouta in your dreams again for sometime, the next time you saw him was at night your time when you went to bed. You were surprised when he appeared in your dream, however you were more worried about the way he seemed to be followed by a small storm cloud. Something must’ve happened, you thought. You sat beside him, wishing you could say something comforting but you knew he couldn’t hear you. You imagined an umbrella and held it over the two of you and rubbed his back. Shouta glanced over at you, you had a solemn expression on your face. Your mouth quirked in a half frown as if to ask if he was okay. He shook his head ‘no’ and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

He showed you a memory of the fight he had during his work study a few days prior. He watched you gape at the scene, at the loss of his friend. You cried and dropped the umbrella, you turned and pulled him into a tight hug causing tears he didn’t know he had left fall from his eyes as he returned the embrace. You pet his hair as the dream went dark in his anguish. When he sat back up he wiped his face and nodded at you in thanks.

You decided to share a few of your own memories with him, your hero training at school, a bit of your school life. He chuckled at how much you study, you flash him a memory of the past week of you learning Japanese and stick your tongue out at him. He blushes lightly and rolls his eyes, leaning into you lightly before he started to disappear.

You watch the scene unfold of him waking up from his nap in class, you chuckle as he crawls out of a bright yellow sleeping bag in his school uniform. His blonde friend says something that causes Shouta to cover his ears. The glimpse fades and you drift off to deeper sleep.

Over the next several years you only ever met him briefly, your exchanges were demure and always quiet due to the circumstances. You found out you both became underground hero’s after graduating, you exchanged emails after forgetting to for so long. You found typing in Japanese was harder than writing it and speaking it combined, he didn’t mind though. He wrote to you in English at times but your interactions were limited due to hero work.

Due to being underground hero’s both of you had sporadic sleeping schedules, you received an email from him at one point telling you to go to sleep. You chuckled and looked at your phone, I could go for a nap, you thought and emailed him in response. You returned to the place you were staying and laid on the couch, quickly drifting off to dreamland.

When you appeared in you shared dream Shouta pulled you into him, rolling you over so he could lay into your stomach with his arms wrapped around you. You giggled at the action but made no effort to rouse him, running your finger through his soft hair. He felt you giggled as you felt him talk, he wished for subtitles as he talked but it was too annoying to focus on them and talk at the same time. Shouta talked about some vigilante brats he’s started to run in to, about what he was dealing with. “(Y/N), I don’t know what to do.” His arms barely squeezed you but you felt it, you tightened your grip around him instinctively. He buried his face in your abdomen, you smiled sadly, you were barely sure but you knew you felt the same.

After a few years you had completely traveled around your entire country while working as a hero. You told him about your completed travels and how you became something of an urban legend, almost a boogie man for villains.

“Don’t you want to meet her?” Hizashi asked over the phone.

Shouta hummed at the question, thinking about an email you sent a few weeks ago. “I mean sure, but I don’t have anything to show for.” He sighed, “I can’t just ask her to move out here and expect her to be okay living the way I do.”

Hizashi went to argue but he understood the point, he had made a comment once about how private you were over email. Suggesting you might be more open in person like you are in your shared dreams, but your schedules were too different to have a proper conversation. With instant villains popping up all over the country the last thing he has time to think about is keeping up appearances.

“What about that gig at UA Kayama suggested? It’d be a stable gig.” He could hear his friend smile over the phone. The last thing Shouta thought was a good idea was him being a teacher.

“I don’t have time for this I’m on patrol, I’ll talk to you later.” He quickly hung up on Hizashi and stuffed his phone in his pocket, looking up at the moon that shown brightly even in the dark alley he stood in.

———

You stared at an email Midnight sent you, regretting the suggestion you made to Shouta to exchange emails of your most trusted associates/friends ‘in case of an emergency’. You sighed and leaned back into the sofa you sat on. “You know my office isn’t your office right?” Your friend said, you looked over at them and pouted. “Seriously, I have an agency to run.” They snorted.

You rolled your eyes and picked up your laptop, “Take a look at this for me.” You placed the device on the paperwork they were looking it, forcing them to read it over. “I don’t think it’s a good time but I’m not sure how to respond.” You scratched your head thinking about it.

They read through the job offer and hummed in cognizance. “I think it’s a good idea but you are right it might not be a good time, with-“ They waved their hand around. “Everything going on. Maybe just say that?” They advised.

You both tossed ideas back and forth, as much as traveling to Japan enticed you, you knew how long it would take to wrap up all your current cases. You sent Midnight a response, apologizing and declining the teaching position, informing her that you’d love to but you are currently in no position to just pack up and leave. You pulled out your Nokia Brick phone for the time and started packing your bag. “I have to go, thanks for letting me mooch your internet.” You winked at your friend who groaned.

“When are you going to get a smart phone?” They teased.

“When they make one I can’t break, this thing is a beast!” You pointed the device at them and were on your way. Upon entering a back alley past your friends hero agency you received a call. “Detective!” You answered, “Oh. You found the- uh huh.” Your eyes narrowed, “I’m on my way.” You ended the call and ran to their office, maybe it wouldn’t take as long to wrap up all your loose ends as your originally thought.

———

5 years have passed as you and Shouta have grown closer via dreams and emails. He shows you memories of things that happened with his class during the day, most of it you find hilarious and he scowls at you in response. You write an apology and provide suggestions, he finds that he quite likes laying his head in your lap or on your stomach as you comb your fingers through the messy mop of hair he has. You find it almost natural, both of you rant about your day. Fully aware that the other can’t hear you, you’ve found writing and showing memories became second nature. You nearly cried laughing when he showed you the memory of him expelling an entire class as an example to say ‘I wasn’t joking’.

You and Midnight chose not to tell Shouta about your potential teaching position at UA, you didn’t want to say anything because you didn’t want to get his hopes up. Midnight suggested keeping it quiet in case you decide to come, saying it would be a ‘pleasant surprise’ for him. You rolled you eyes reading that, knowing how she can be.

You received another email halfway through the school year from Principal Nezu, inviting you personally. You didn’t reply to the email for sometime while going over your case work, when you did respond you informed him that it would take you about a month to finish up the cases you’re involved in and that you would be late in regards to when summer break ends and the new semester begins. He tells you that’s fine, and you request that he doesn’t mention who the ‘new teacher’ would be.

That night you have a pleasant dream, when Shouta enters your dream he found you reminiscing. He wraps his arms around your waist from behind, pulling them tightly under your bust as he rests his chin on your shoulder. You lean your head against his and squeeze his arms, a smile crept up your face and you start speaking about you coming to surprise him at UA. He can’t hear you which makes you chuckle, you turn you head and kiss you cheek. It’s been years since you’ve met but you’ve never kissed before, part of you wanted to save it for when you met him in person but you were so excited.

Shouta watches you talk, wondering what you’re talking about that has you laughing. He’d give anything to hear you laugh in person, anything to be with you. He watches your memories, chuckling when you show him the fight that caused the two of you to meet. When he feels your lips press against his cheek he blushes deeply, almost jumping away with his hands still wrapped around you. He watches your fingers curl and hover in front of your mouth as you giggle. He pulls you into his chest and leans in to kiss you.

You reach up for him but give a sad smile as he starts to fade, indicating that he’s waking up. You cup his face in your hands and then he was gone, you can’t keep this up. You know you need to meet him, you know you will soon but it feels so far. You see a glimpse of him waking up, the scowl on his face and his students freezing made you chuckle. You were so excited.

If looks could kill, the classroom would have been massacred with the deep scowl on Aizawa’s face. The room felt like ice when he sat up from his in class nap to prepare the class for gym, the sensation of your hands on his cheeks is still present. He cups him own face in frustration, unable to think of something that could allow you two to meet.

After a few week Shouta meets up with you in your sleep again, your face held a deep blush and you sent him the goofiest smile he’s seen on you yet. You clap your hands together in front of your mouth as you tilt your head, he rolled his eyes and chuckled as he realizes you’re drunk. You show him memories of your going away party, you and a handful of hero’s all suited up in their uniforms were drinking at someone’s large house. Even in your drunken stupor you manage to keep anything that says ‘going away party’ out of the memory. You did accidentally slip a memory of you drinking 2 hero’s, that were 3 times your size, under the table. He sees you sitting behind the table with a mischievous grin on your face as the other two were either throwing up or passed out. When he glanced over at you there was an air of pride on you, he starts to play with your hair affectionately. He smiles when you lean into him, blushing slightly when you lay across his lap. Somehow you had snaked your arms around his waist, he chuckled in any attempt to admonish his growing feelings that made his stomach flip and his chest quake with desire.

———

You slept off your hangover on the flight to Japan, you saw Shouta a few times while you flew towards Japan. The closer you got the more nervous you became, you knew Midnight would be picking you up so you weren’t too worried. You wondered what he would sound like, what he’d smell like even.

When the plane entered Japanese waters you knew immediately, even in your sleep. You could hear him talking, you blushed as soon as the audio became clear. His voice was so smooth and deep you couldn’t help but blush. He looked at you questioningly and you moved your mouth like you were talking but didn’t let your voice escape. This was a lot more difficult to do that you imagined, you silently chuckled. He kissed your forehead, “God I wish I could see you in person, I can’t stand this.” Sadness and pain laced his voice like barbed wires, you cupped his face and gave him a sad smile. You gently pressed your lips to his, the action seemed to surprise him as he quickly poofed out of his nap. You catch a glimpse of him shooting up out of his chair and off his desk in the teachers lounge, a deep blush coating his pale skin. You woke up soon after and started getting your carry on bag together to get off.

You and Midnight had exchanged pictures via email before your flight so that the two of you would have an easy time finding each other. When you got off the plane you carried a small backpack and a briefcase with your hero uniform. “(Y/N)!” She yelled, waving her hand fast. “I’m so excited you’re here!” She hugged you tightly as soon as you were close enough.

“Midnight, I’m excited to be here.” You said, “I haven’t told Shouta yet so we need to make a plan to surprise him.” You wink at her, noticing the devilish grin growing on her lips.

“Call me Nemuri.” She says and loops her arm with yours, you nod as the two of you walk to baggage claim. She told you all about the dorm system and that there’s a room prepared for you, telling you that it’s pre-furnished and about all the finite details.

——

He took another nap, hoping to apologize for being surprised awake. When he did manage to sleep it was only for a short time and you weren’t there. Aizawa would admit he was confused, he looked at his phone to check the time when he woke. Knowing you should be asleep, he worried that something happened. Gym class had started and a few of the student looked at him in concern, noting his grumpier than usual attitude.

“What do you think happened?” Uraraka said, “Aizawa-Sensei isn’t usually this grumpy after his naps..”

Asui and Midoriya nodded in agreement, sneaking glances at their teacher. “Maybe he just didn’t sleep well?” Midoriya suggested with shrugged shoulders.

“He does keep looking at the time, kero.” Ausi notes.

Shouta glares at them and they separate for their training. When gym is over he takes another nap, hoping to see you again.

You and Midnight made quick work of getting your bags into your new room, you had swiftly changed into your Hero costume and headed towards the school. Nermuri used her quirk to help you calm down as you approached class 1-A, “Do you think he’ll be mad?” You whisper to her.

She chuckled softly, “I don’t think he could be mad at you.” She patted your shoulder as you slowly opened the door to the classroom. Class was almost over so you knew he’d be napping.

You saw him asleep against the wall and the students looked at you confused. You and Midnight both pressed a finger to your lips to indicate they should be quiet and ignore you. You snuck into the classroom as quietly as possible and squatted in front of Shouta. You watched the way he slept so peacefully, his ebony hair messy in front of his face. You resisted the urge to move it and waited for what seemed like ages for him to wake.

When Shouta woke he rubbed his eyes before opening them, yawning and noticed someone in front of him. His eyes saw your feet first, quickly traveling upwards to see you sitting in front of him. Your (H/C) perfectly framed your face, your (E/C) eyes bore holes in him as you made eye contact with him. This has to be a dream, he thought. “Surprise.” You said shyly, you voice was soft. It was so delicate that it made his face burn, eliciting a few ‘ooo’s and ‘awes’ from his students. He stared at you in awe, frozen where he sat in utter disbelief. You giggled softly, you stood and introduced yourself to the class. Informing them and Shouta that you were a new teacher at the school. They had a million questions for you but you dismissed them stating they’ll find out later, the bell rang dismissing the class.

With school over the students made their way out of the classroom, leaving you and their homeroom teacher alone. You went to close the door and turned back to face him after waving the kids out. He unzipped himself from his sleeping bag and instantly pulled you into his chest. You blushed loudly and completed the embrace, wrapping your arms around him. One of his arms was wrapped around your waist while the other cupped the back of your head. “(Y/N). Why didn’t you tell me?” He said softly, you giggled into his chest and squeezed him a bit. The sound of your name on his lips made you happier than you imagined.

Lifting your head to him, you never realized the difference in your height while you dreamt. You hummed at his question, “I wanted to surprise you.” You offered a small smile. “And I didn’t want to give you false hope if something came up and I couldn’t come.” Your admission seemed to quell his confusion.

Shouta smiled and lifted you up, “I couldn’t have asked for a better surprise.” He leaned his face into yours, pressing his lips against your own. His lips were soft in comparison to his calloused hands that held you against him. You wrapped your arms over his shoulders, cupping the back of his neck. Desperate to not let go. He tasted like coffee and smelled like spices, he was warm and felt like home. When you pulled away to take a breath you pressed your forehead to his. “I couldn’t begin to imagine my life without you now that I have you here.” He said with a soft smile.

You giggled as he set your feet back on the ground, “I was thinking the same thing.” You both to a moment to look over each other. He was taller and more muscular that you had anticipated, you were shorter and softer than he imagined. He loved every ounce of you, “We should go home.” You offered your hand to his, god he could melt at the sound of the word ‘home’ falling from your lips.

You would be introduced to the rest of the faculty and students tomorrow, soon you would meet the teachers responsible for class 1-A at the faculty dorm you’d be staying in. Tonight you’d be spending all your time with Shouta, familiarizing yourself with each other. He had never slept so well as he did with you wrapped in his arms and pulled into his chest, he was never going to let you go.

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theonyxpath · 6 years ago

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Welcome to a series of MMN blogs where I’ll be looking at where we, Onyx Path, are with some of our methods of getting our projects out to you all. Seems to make sense here at the start of 2019.

Today, the topic is Kickstarters.

A little backstory:

Onyx Path ran our first Kickstarter for the V20 Companion in early 2012, the same year as we started publishing. Crowdfunding was a wild and wooly place back then, and KS was starting to be the “brand name” for the process.

I’d watched a few of our friends run campaigns, both successful and failed, and knew going into it that neither myself, who was running the whole thing, nor Justin, who was the developer of the book and as interested as I was in this new method of financing a project, really knew how it would turn out.

When I had put together Onyx Path as a publishing business, I hadn’t considered crowd-funding, but Justin and I had heard enough from our Vampire community clamoring for the V20 Companion to be a matching Deluxe book to V20 to know that we should figure out how to do it in a Deluxe format. Kickstarter seemed a way to get the needed upfront money for the Deluxe treatment.

Otherwise, the V20 Companion would have been available as PDF and PoD versions on DTRPG only. We just didn’t have the cash to pay the printer what they needed upfront to purchase all the Deluxe cover material, create embossing stamps, all that.

So, that’s how it started, this wild and tumultuous affair with Kickstarter that we’ve had for seven years and 33 Kickstarter campaigns.

Dystopia Rising: Evolution art by Marco Gonzalez

Here’s where we are now:

I told you all that so I could tell you this. We started with a very simple need – to afford a deluxe cover – and every single KS we did taught us more and more about how to run a KS.

If you joined us along the way, there may have been a method we used that turned you off, or another that you thought was awesome. From our point of view, we were learning how to do it well. Stretch Goals, Rewards, Add-ons, voting for sections in the books, when to run it, how much text to have finished and how much to share. The list goes on of the elements we have tried to add with some degree of success or another.

Now, this year, our KSs mostly have a few elements in common, like we try and keep the Reward Tiers to a smallish number, we go live only after we have all the text we need finished, and we reveal that text in chunks during the Kickstarter.

Getting Projects Into Stores:

Unlike when we started, we’re now doing most of our KSs with the stated goal of paying for a traditional print run that covers not just the backers’ copies but also to print an amount that will go into stores via our sales partners at Studio2 and IPR (who are they? look below in the Blurbs! section).

We might still do some Deluxes along the way, don’t worry, or some other special projects, but we’re exploring this trad printing option right now.

This greatly increases our retail options, which is a good thing as it’s another way for folks to get our games, and adds to the value of the Retailer Reward Tiers that have been a part of our KSs since the first couple of them.

Now Retailers can choose to wait and order the projects when they are made available through distribution channels, or they can opt in for pledging to the Retailer Reward Tier and get the copies earlier, with some bonus Screens and the Stretch Goal rewards they can sell or give away, and if they have polled their customers to get confirmed sales – those are books they don’t need to worry about selling off their shelves.

Geist 2nd Edition art by Brian LeBlanc

Getting Projects Out In a Timely Manner:

There’s no question about it, we prioritized everything else over hitting the Kickstarter estimates. This wasn’t because we didn’t care about them, but because we cared more about the quality of the projects we were creating.

And, in fact, still do.

BUT, we’ve leveraged our experience and are making sure that our Kickstarter projects have completed text before we go live with the KS now, which eliminates a huge percentage of our timeliness issues while still allowing our creators the time they need to insure high quality writing and rules.

That means that we have a bit less flexibility in the sorts of Rewards and Stretch Goals that add to the KS’d project itself, but its a trade-off that is working out pretty well. And we still have Stretch Goals that build additional and Companion books, so those extra sections are still being created.

Since we’ve put the “No KS without complete text” rule into effect, we’ve delivered Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition earlier than estimated, and things still look great for Fetch Quest and Dragon-Blooded. To name a couple close to shipping.

Now no doubt, we’re still popping out projects that had troubled histories from before that methodology went into effect, so it did take us a while to get to this stage, but we’re here now and it’s working great.

Getting Projects to Backers (Kickstarter Shipping):

This is an ugly topic, I’m afraid. Don’t let the kids see it.

The biggest negative aspect of a Kickstarter campaign, in terms of costs and time spent, is shipping the rewards out. Shipping costs are insane if you are shipping from the US to anywhere outside the US. We look for working partnerships with shippers around the world to offset some of those prices, and sometimes it works.

We have seen shipping costs on some projects as high as $50 an average to Canada, $64 on average to the EU, and $70 as a rest of the world average. Then there are customs fees on top of that. So, like I say, we keep looking for alternatives.

Plus, now we hear that USPS, who is often used as the middle-man by the big-name shippers, is raising their rates, so we’ll need to deal with that.

We also have been through another round of getting quotes from fulfillment shippers, and trying to find ones that can be relied on and stay reliable (and that we can afford) has been, and may always be, an ongoing process.

Sorry, I know that just reading about these issues is a drag, but they are a very real challenge that we work on with each KS. We’ve tried the “tack the shipping price on after the KS” method, and that was received…poorly by the backers.

We also can’t sidestep the whole thing and “eat the costs” or even a decent bite of them. We just aren’t Amazon, for good or ill, and our volume of ship-out packages is not even close to being in the zone where a company can do that.

So, we keep on baking in the shipping costs as best as we can accurately estimate them with our fulfillment partners, and at least our backers can look at that and what they see is what they get.

EX3 Lunars art by Gunship Revolution

Getting Projects Kickstarted:

This is kind of a catch-all topic. First, there’s the question of which projects we are KSing. What’s the criteria? Well, new game line core books, to start. We want those in stores, and we want folks to find out about them, and Kickstarter does both of those things for us.

There are also the Deluxe Exalted “fatsplat” books, which we look at as a part of a series, the core CofD 2nd Edition books, and select WoD supplements. Doing the V5 Chicago By Night Kickstarter, for example, gave us that visibility I mentioned above, as well as a chance to let backers, and by extension the larger WoD community, a chance to see where we would be going with the text.

Basically, do we think the project would benefit more from being KS’d than not, and not all would.

Next in this topic, we have the way our KSs are now run thanks to our “Kickstarter Concierge” James Bell, who sets up all our KSs now, makes sure that they are run as we’ve agreed – and fun for our backers is a HUGE part of that – and then creates and runs the BackerKit back-end site after the KS is over.

Having a dedicated Kickstarter runner has made a huge difference in customer service, and as my list of Kickstarters that I ran keeps shrinking, I am so glad that I could pass on the responsibilities of handling our KSs to James.

I mentioned that James is also running our post-Kickstarter BackerKit sites, and BK has also been a huge help in the handling of our KSs. We now use them for every KS; they are just set up to make it so much easier to track all the rewards folks can pledge for and Add-on, and for us to get out to backers. More accurate for the backers, and faster for us: win/win.

Finally, we’re trying a new thing this coming year, as even with James, we’re hard-pressed to run all the Kickstarter campaigns we’d like to – that we think would be good for the projects we’re making.

Our friends and Handiwork Games will be creating the Scarred Lands 5e Creature Collection and then running its Kickstarter on a new Onyx Path Publishing Kickstarter account. If this works out, we’ll have more flexibility on which KSs happen when, and we’ll look at how things go and maybe we’ll have more of our projects KS’d by other folks.

Because even if we think we’ve got a really great system for our Kickstarters now, we still keep looking for ways to make them better. For us, for our community of backers, and for our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

We finished up the They Came From Beneath the Sea! (TCFBtS!) KS last Thursday and those last 48 hours were amazing. I swear we added 200 backers, and finished up at 908 backers and over 200% funded. We were able to help fund several additional projects that will really help folks enjoy the game after they get through the main book. A smashing end to an experimental and excellent campaign.

Huge Thanks to everyone who contributed, and if you weren’t able to during the campaign, you can still get in on it via BackerKit when that site goes up, and then when we release the book into stores and DTRPG!

NEXT UP! We’ll be starting the Kickstarter for the Deluxe version of EX3‘s Lunars on February 12th – so don your beast forms and let loose a howl (or snarl or squawk or hiss) to let everyone know it’s coming!

ONYX PATH MEDIA

Illustration by Michael Gaydos

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast features a deep dive by the terribly terrific trio into the Maelstrom of Wraith: The Oblivion, with special looks at Orpheus and how it all comes together with Wraith20! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

Last Friday our resident media man Matthew Dawkins got on YouTube and read the prologue for our popular Scarred Lands novel, Vigilant: Through Shadows and Dreams. Why did he embark upon this task? A couple of reasons! 1.) We want more people finding our fiction. 2.) We want to gauge your interest in our creating and releasing audio books of our fiction work! Please give the video a watch (https://youtu.be/SU1fgtGxSjw) or just download the mp3 if you want it to listen to as you drive or work out (https://www.drivethrufiction.com/product/265096/Vigilant-Through-Shadow-and-Dreams-Prologue). Both are free and we genuinely value your feedback on our embarking into audio books and readalongs!

So please let us know in the comments here if audio books of our work would be something you like us to offer!

Our good friends at Caffeinated Conquests are at it again with “I Was A Good Boy Today”, the first part in their new Scion: Origin story! Please give it a watch if you want to watch some fun-loving roleplayers enjoy Scion: https://youtu.be/_S6IvpYSDFM

Speaking of Scion, the Scabby Rooster (so named after a sketchy fantasy tavern) is a superb Twitch channel who have just embarked upon a Scion story of their own, starting with character creation. Check them out and give them a follow! https://www.twitch.tv/scabbyrooster

The Story Told RPG Podcast is back too, this time with an interview with Matthew Dawkins regarding Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition! This one is a real deep dive and it’s timely, given the recent dispatch of the deluxe copies. Here’s the interview http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/episode-19-wraith-the-oblivion-20th-anniversary-interview-with-matthew-dawkins and please check Wraith out on DriveThruRPG if you’ve not already done so!

Finally, the much-anticipated first part of Red Moon Roleplaying‘s campaign of They Came from Beneath the Sea! is now up on their channel! Terror at Make-out Point is a game of They Came From with a horrific, Lovecraftian edge, so if you’re less into B-movies and more into creeping nastiness (complete with perfect editing, sound effects, and music), this is one to check out: https://youtu.be/Vjjan4hcqoM

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

Running until Feb 3 is the Trinity (Aeon) 1e Bundle of Holding: https://bundleofholding.com/presents/Trinity1E and the Aberrant 1e Bundle of Holding: https://bundleofholding.com/presents/Aberrant

Check them out and get some amazing deals on the first edition PDFs (same as we have on DTRPG) and watch how the Bundles grow during the duration of the sale!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can now order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

This Wednesday, we’re offering our monthly EX3 PDFs of Northern Ursidae and the Forest Strider for Hundred Devils Night Parade, and Ninegala, Forge Goddess of Makelo for Adversaries of the Righteous on DTRPG!

We are also adding Monarchies of Mau templates this week to the Canis Minor community content site for Realms of Pugmire! Now, you can add all your cat-astrophically good ideas for Mau books to the site!

CONVENTIONS

New convention notices coming soon!

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Let The Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

TC: Aeon Ready Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Redlines

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Manuscript Approval:

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Scion Jumpstart (Scion 2nd Edition)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Editing:

Aeon Aexpansion (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Tales of Excellent Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

Wr20 Book of Oblivion (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

C20 Novel: Cup of Dreams (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Post-Editing Development:

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon (Werewolf: The Forsaken 2nd Edition)

In Media Res (Trinity Continuum: Core)

Indexing:

Scion Origin (Scion Second Edition)

Scion Hero (Scion Second Edition)

Ex3 Dragon Blooded (Exalted 3rd Edition)

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – Art tweakage.

The Realm – More sketches coming in.

Ex3 Monthly Stuff –

Chicago By Night – Contacting artists to see who is open.

Aeon Aexpansion

They Came From Beneath the Sea!

EX3 Lunars – KS prep.

Signs of Sorcery – Over to layout this week.

In Media Res – Sketches coming in.

Hunter: The Vigil 2

Shunned By the Moon – Almost done contracting artists.

Book of Oblivion – Contracted and should see sketches soon.

Contagion Chronicle – Fulls/splats contracted for KS.

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Slarecian Vault Materials

C20 Player’s Guide

Proofing

Scion Hero – Indexing.

Scion Origin – Indexing.

M20: Gods and Monsters – Waiting for WW approval.

Pugmire Roll of Good Dogs and Cats – Getting backer PDF ready to send to backers.

Trinity Core – Inputting Errata.

Trinity Aeon – Inputting Errata.

Ex3 Dragon Blooded – Indexing.

Geist 2e

At Press

Wraith 20th – Prepping for backer ship-out.

Wraith 20 Screen – Prepping for backer ship-out.

Scion Dice – At Studio2.

Scion Screen – At Studio2.

Fetch Quest – Shipping to US.

Ex Novel 2 (Aaron Rosenberg) – Backer PDF going out this week.

CtL2e Condition Cards – Waiting for PoD proofs.

Canis Minor – Opening up Monarchies of Mau for community content.

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE:

Last Friday was my birthday, and I’m just always surprised I’ve made it this far!

#Onyx Path Publishing

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Hey - Pat from StarterStory.com here with another interview.Today's interview is with Jessica Ding (u/Culpion) of LoveLornLingerie, a brand that makes leather lingerie.Some stats:Product: Leather lingerie.Revenue/mo: $1,900Started: January 2014Location: Brooklyn, NYFounders: 1Employees: 0Hello! Who are you and what business did you start?Hello there! My name is Jessica Ding and I started Love Lorn Lingerie.Love Lorn Lingerie is a handmade brand specializing in bondage-inspired leather harnesses, lingerie and gothic accessories. I’m forever looking for ways to transform the standard “bdsm” look into something higher end, influenced by fantasy, feminism, and self-aware cynicism.My customers tend to be women who like to feel good and look good, for themselves more than for someone else’s gaze. They are women who chase their own pleasures, who are comfortable in their own skins, or are working their way to becoming comfortable and confident. I hope that my brand can help outfit them on their journey.At the moment, this business is still a side hustle. Between my online store and the in person events I do, revenue averages to about 1.9k per month. Not bad for something that was started on a whim!imageWhat's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?I graduated from Pratt Institute in 2012 with a degree in fashion design, focusing on costume design.At the time, I just wanted a job that could support my life in New York City - stability, a salary, healthcare, that whole thing. While I’d have loved to get a job in costume design, that’s tougher to get into without connections.Unfortunately, I didn’t have connections, but what I did have was student loans and rent that needed to be paid. I was lucky to find a decent job in intimate design. But a few years in, I realized just how creatively stifling a “corporate” fashion job was - in short, I was bored. In 2014, a friend gave me a shoebox full of black leather scraps. I made my first few designs (a simple harness bra, a body harness, and a collar) and threw them on Etsy just to see what would happen. One of them sold within a few weeks (faster than anything else I’d tried on Etsy and I’d dabbled in it since I was 16). And then another piece sold. And then I got a great review. This was enough for me to continue making, to continue designing and merging my current experience in the lingerie industry with my past experience in costume design.Then (and now), it was a side hustle that quickly became self-sufficient and provided me with both a creative outlet and extra income that I used to pay off my student loans. Everything is self-funded, I don’t have investors or outside funding, particularly since at that time I didn’t even think about taking this beyond the side hustle. I consider myself an artist and designer first, small business owner second.Take us through the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing your first product.Since I’m still the only one working on this business, my process is pretty simple! I carry around a sketchbook all the time that I use to scribble down designs. I pull inspiration from a variety of things (sometimes just an interesting shape on a building can lead to a whole set of designs), but I’m especially inspired by the femme fatale/ warrior woman archetype, the combination of soft and sensual against a core of steel.Of the scribbled designs, maybe 10% of them actually make it to the prototyping stage. I map out times where I can experiment with making the designs, and it usually only takes one or two tries to nail down the right sample. Designs are loosely grouped together in sets - each set has similar design details, hardware and leather or fabric quality.Once the fit is just right, I write down the construction and measurements and start figuring out the size grade for sizes XS-XL. From there it’s just shooting the product photos, editing the photos and posting it online. Once I finish a large group of design sets, I reach out to photographers and models to get a nice lookbook shoot done, followed by collaborations with influencers to promote the newest collections.imageI have a small “studio” section in the living room of my one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. This is where I make all the pieces. The rest of my samples hang on a separate tension rack on the other side of the living room, and I take product shots in my bedroom as it gets the most natural light.There was a lot of trial and error in the beginning when I started sourcing my materials. At the time I started the business, I had no experience working with leathers. I bought far too many leathers that ended up being too thin or soft, or too thick for me to work on without heavier machines. I’ve finally found my sweet spot when it comes to the quality of leather I like to use. Now the only problem is making sure it stays consistent. Since I buy in small batches from leather suppliers in the US, sometimes leathers end up being discontinued while I’m still trying to sell certain sets so I end up either scrambling to find a replacement or have to take a big chunk of my inventory offline. I make a point now to design with stock leathers that are staples from my leather suppliers, and to always have another design set with a different leather ready to go online.With hardware, the sourcing difficulty came more from finding supplies that were priced well, were consistent and would allow me to buy smaller quantities. I have a few trusted sources that I order from all the time now, but I still try to use hardware pieces that I can get from at least two suppliers. In case any of them went under, I wouldn’t be quite as panicked. One of my suppliers DID suddenly disappear from the platform I was buying from them on, AND they carried the more unique hardware I was using. Luckily, I was able to track them down through their paypal address!Describe the process of launching the business.I built the business on Etsy first (still on there!) but I realized I needed another place to put all my lookbook images, announcements, somewhere to really solidify the branding. I funded everything myself, from my day job salary. I had little interest in taking on additional debt when I didn’t know if this would go anywhere, especially as I was still trying to get rid of my student debt.Consequently, that meant I did pretty much everything myself since I couldn’t afford to hire someone. I built my website using Managed Wordpress and a purchased theme. I didn’t have to do much other than find the right plug ins, set up my pages, menu, payment options and upload my products. Sometimes I do think my website is a bit of a Frankenstein’s monster and sometimes the plugins don’t play well together so I’m considering other options or ways to streamline it.imageWhile I’m happy with how much I’ve done on my own, I do wish I’d just bitten the bullet and hired experts to some of the digital work for me. Changing it now will be tougher simply because of how big it is, and how much of a foundation it has.Since launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?For the first few years I had this business, I pretty much ignored marketing. The only thing I did was make sure my listings were optimized for Etsy search (not even Google search), get some nice professional photo shoots done and set up some social media accounts that I didn’t touch (but at least the handles were there).I’m focusing more on marketing now since I can see how much not doing so in the past has impeded my future growth. I’m more active on social media, especially Instagram. As a visual platform, it’s the best for fashion, art and accessories. It’s also been the best networking tool for me as it connects me with photographers, models and influencers. Social media growth is happening, but it’s slow, surprisingly so since women in lingerie is usually a pretty popular image online. I have to be careful to avoid being too scandalous because that puts me at risk for getting my account shut down.Here’s a shot of my current instagram stats:imageThe only downside with my business is that since my products are adult in nature, I can’t use Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest ads. I’m trying to work on increasing my organic traffic as well as getting my name out in the kink community. That just means stepping away from the digital world and trying out in person markets. I’ve started going to events, handmade marketplaces, etc. I work with local photographers and dominatrixes and just make sure I’m seen at various events and parties. This has led to many referrals for other events and groups along with future PR options.I’m dabbling in Google Ads now, but not seeing too many results. If I want to continue using this, I will probably delegate that to someone else. I keep falling into the trap of trying to learn how to do it myself, and that just doesn’t work!I’ve recently hired a digital marketing consultant to write targeted keyword blogs and build the overall marketing strategy. The blog articles tend to be about the bdsm/kink community, sexual wellness, and feminism, just a few of the subjects that I really care about and want to be part of my brand image. On the personal side, I have some posts that are inside looks to my home studio or behind the scenes of photo shoots.I tried a few more specialized digital marketplaces, such as I Am Attitude, and even Amazon! Amazon came out with Amazon Handmade a few years ago, and I opened an account on it. However, before I could list more than two products on it, I realized that this would be a mistake. No matter how much traffic Amazon had, I felt like it would cheapen my brand. Whether or not that would have actually happened, I decided to close that down and focus on the growth on my own website.How are you doing today and what does the future look like?Love Lorn Lingerie was and still is a side hustle. It’s not profitable yet; at one point it was, but as I tried to grow it, the scales tipped the other way. Luckily, it’s still going well enough where I am only working part time at my day job now.The other days are spent on a combination of working on new designs and completing orders. I tend to spend mornings looking over my website, answering emails, ordering any diminishing supplies and looking for new opportunities. Then I go to my studio area in my living room and work on the more hands on part of my business.Overall costs of running the business tends to be in the 1.5-2k costs per month. This includes raw materials, shipping and packaging materials, display materials for markets, fees (website, etsy, transaction fees), photoshoot costs and travel costs. At the moment, I am spending very little on marketing or ads - just about $200-300 a month. I intend to increase this with a combination of google ads, collaborating with blogs and overall heavier social media presence. Here’s a quick look of where my traffic comes from both on my Etsy and my website in 2018.imageimageWhile I sell both on Etsy and my own website, Etsy still counts for about 40% of my overall revenue. The other 40% comes from the conventions and markets I go to, 10% from my website, and then 10% from my current wholesale business. If you look at the graph below, you can see that 2016 was the peak of my revenue on Etsy. As my Etsy slowed down, I’ve had to find other avenues of growth, which is what led me to markets, wholesale, etc.imageThe goal is to grow this enough to replace my day job. I plan to expand more into wholesale beyond just the two clients I have now. I attended my first alternative fashion trade show called LondonEdge this past February and intend to attend more as my budget allows. I am learning to be consistent and persistent, simply because being seen by people over and over again establishes a sense of stability to my brand. I won’t just disappear in 2 months after they’ve placed an order.I’m excited to start offering more designs for men, as well as accessories like bags, and to continue creating more and more extravagant designs.Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpful or advantageous?A few of the mistakes I made in the past: tried to compete on price instead of uniqueness and quality of products; didn’t use social media enough; didn’t do any marketing.Now I try to make sure my designs are attractive while also being different from whatever else is out there. It’s a fine line between unique and not so crazy that no one would know how to wear it. I’m still struggling with it today, testing what works and what doesn’t. Some designs are great for getting attention online, while others are the ones that actually sell. I coasted for awhile when it seemed like I was making a steady profit and would do so for the future. That clearly didn’t happen and more lower priced competition crept up on me as the strappy/bondage trend suddenly exploded a few years ago. This is what has pushed me to make my designs more unique and to cultivate my own particular style.I also now understand that YES, I DO have to spend money and time on marketing. I was too resistant because I thought if my designs were good, then they would just sell. And if they weren’t selling, well, that just meant my designs weren’t good enough. But it doesn’t work like that unless you get really lucky! Which I’m not.Putting more of my personal life into my business has actually been a boon for me. I tried to keep the business impersonal in an effort to seem more professional, but I realize now that was a poor move. For an independent, handmade brand, having a face to go with the designs really helps build trust with the consumer. I feel like that’s a pretty obvious statement, and it really bothers me that it’s taken me this long to figure out. I’m engaging more with my customers, and they trust me more to ensure that the quality of what they buy stays high. I do this by going to conventions and offering opportunities to buy in person (as mentioned above), as well as showing more of my life on Instagram stories. I think this also helps justify the price of my products to other people: it really shows them that it’s just one person making things in her apartment and hoping people like them.What platform/tools do you use for your business?I still use the Etsy platform, and my website is Wordpress with WooCommerce. I purchase my shipping labels directly from them, which has been the best thing ever. Waiting in line in an NYC post office is one of the last things I ever like to do, just above getting stung by a wasp.I use fairly standard tools - Mailchimp for emails, I use Preview to schedule out and set up my instagram posts, and IFTTT to push my Instagram posts to my other social media channels.I’ve still stuck with PayPal as a payment processor for both my online store and live events. (I was actually denied the original payment processor that came with WooCommerce because of the adult nature of my products!)What have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?I listen to a lot of podcasts, and my favorites (no surprise) tend to be ones that discuss business, entrepreneurship, science and self-development.One of my absolute favorites is the Jordan Harbinger show. I find him to be really great interviewer and has a very down to earth quality that some other interviewers lack. Other favorites include:How I Built ThisThe Skeptic’s Guide to the UniversePat Flynn’s Smart Passive IncomeEntrepreneurs on FireHidden BrainInvisibiliaThe most influential book for me was actually a book that was a collection of blog posts! It’s called Rationality: From AI to Zombies by Eliezer Yudkowsky. It completely changed my thought process. It’s a great intro into rational thinking that I think everyone could benefit from.While it’s not about business, the lessons it imparts about thinking logically and making decisions based on data vs emotions is a great complement to entrepreneurship.Advice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?Don’t be so in love with your ideas that you aren’t willing to pivot or listen to feedback. I made this mistake when I thought my designs should be good enough to not need marketing. Not so! I still love what I do right now but there is still a chance that this particular bondage trend will dry up. That’s the nature of fashion. I believe that I would be able to change up my design style to be an interesting take on, say, athletic wear or home goods if I had to.Being able to change is, in and of itself, a trust in your innate abilities to grow in ANY field, rather than shackling yourself to one particular look. You just need to learn the rules of the new field, and practice.Do as much as you can on your own; but after that, be ready to delegate work you don’t like or can’t do well on your own. Be ready to invest in other talent.Get unique branding! Make sure it stands out! I’ve seen a lot of niche fashion brands starting out - but so many of them look the same that they blend together when I think about them. Even if you’re following the same trends, there ARE ways to make sure you’re not creating the exact same thing as the other person.Where can we go to learn more?Website: LoveLornLingerie.comFacebook: LoveLornStoreInstagram: @lovelornlingerieTwitter: @LveLornLingeriePinterest: @LLLingerieIf you have any questions or comments, drop a comment below!Liked this text interview? Check out the full interview with photos, tools, books, and other data.For more interviews, check out r/starter_story - I post new stories there daily.Interested in sharing your own story? Send me a PM

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anavoliselenu · 8 years ago

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Creighton chapter 12

“Sorry, I’m a little whiskey-mellowed right now, and you can blame that on Boone.”

“Ooh, that boy is so damn hot. If you weren’t married to a billionaire, I’d say you need to snake him from his bitchy girlfriend, even though I strongly disagree with poaching on every level. But that’s neither here nor there. So, you call your man yet?”

“No, because I left my phone in my apartment, I think, and all his numbers are on it. Can I ask you a huge favor?”

“Oh shit, and you know you can ask me anything, doll.”

“Would you go back to my place in the morning and call it and see if you can find it? And if you do, can you send it to me in Dallas? I can text you the address.”

“Sure thing. Although, if I didn’t love you quite so much, I’d have to point out that I have a personal assistant who does this kind of crap for me. You owe me, girl. I want an invite to a really fancy party when you and the big billionaire reconcile. Or maybe a week in Paris. I heard he has a place there.”

Paris? I didn’t know that. “I’m sorry to ask. You know I wouldn’t if I had someone else I could trust.”

“I’m just giving you a hard time, girl. I’ll take care of it in the morning.”

“Thank you, Tana.”

“This does entitle me to say one thing, though.”

I brace myself. “Go on.”

“I bet you’re wishing now that you wrote more on that note than just ‘good-bye.’”

“That’s dangerously close to saying ‘I told you so.’”

“Sorry, babe. But it’s true.”

“Maybe he hasn’t even realized I’m gone yet,” I say, wondering if it might actually be true.

“I imagine that man will find you before you find him,” she replies. “He doesn’t strike me as the type to have a wife go missing and let it stand for long.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

I hope she’s right, and equal measures of dread and hope fill me again. I made a mess of this, but Justin isn’t blameless either.

“I should go,” I tell her. “I need to sleep off the whiskey so I can think with a clear head in the morning.”

“All right, babe. You do that. Talk soon. Love you.”

“Love you too, Tana. Thank you.”

We hang up, and I return Chaz’s phone to him.

“Thanks, Chaz. I’m going to call it a night.”

“Sure thing, ma’am. Sleep well.”

I’m too tired to correct him as I make my way to the bedroom in the back of the bus—one I’m surprised none of the guys in the band have claimed. But the curtains of the bunks are all pulled tight, and I’m not about to offer to swap.

I strip off my jeans and slide between the sheets of the queen-sized bed. Without my pajamas, I’m sleeping in just a T-shirt and undies. But considering that the guys have seen me in this and maybe less, I’m not concerned. They’re all married or in long-term relationships. Even more than that, they’re road warriors with more tours under their belts than I have fingers.

The sound of the tires on the highway lulls me to sleep, and my last thought before I finally drift off is whether my leaving is going to trigger one of those dozen clauses for Justin to annul the marriage.

Actually, that’s a lie. My very last thought before sleep claims me is how much it would hurt if he did.

The penthouse is silent when I let myself inside. I expected to be home almost eight hours ago, but negotiations got heated, and I couldn’t step away from the table without losing all the leverage I gained.

If anyone can close a deal with sheer force of will, it’s me. Winning this one was too fucking important, and once I had the finish line in sight, I wasn’t letting anything get in my way. Although not the biggest dollar deal I’ve ever done by a long, long shot, I’ve never had one that meant more on a personal level. Preliminary agreements, including an iron-clad confidentiality agreement, were signed, and I was pretty fucking pleased with myself.

Eager to find Selena, I head for the bedroom, but it’s dark. I close in on the bed, looking for the telltale lump that should be curled up dead center, but I find nothing but a smooth comforter.

I flip on the bedside lamp; I’m not sure why exactly. It’s not like I can’t tell the room is empty, even in the dark.

“Selena?”

Nothing. I flip on every light as I move from room to room.

No Selena. She’s not here.

The clothes are here. The guitar is here. But she’s not here.

The last time I came home to find the place empty, I flipped the fuck out, thinking she left me. But that was before. The last couple of days, we’ve . . . well, we’ve figured some shit out, and what started out as a crazy whim seems like it can actually work.

I also just banked a decent chunk of money on the fact that it can actually work, not that that particular fact matters.

I finally make my way to the kitchen and turn on the lights. A lined piece of notebook paper sits in the center of the island counter.

Two words.

Just two fucking words.

Good-bye, Justin.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I roar. “No fucking way!”

Last time I thought she left me, and I was wrong. This time, I’m not sure how I can be wrong when it’s as plain as the ink on the goddamn page. The Amex Black Card I gave her is right beside it. That sends a whole message of its own.

“Fuck me. No fucking way.” I don’t know why I’m talking to the empty room, but I can’t seem to stop myself. “She doesn’t get to leave me. I’m not fucking done with her.”

I grab my phone and find her number. I hit Send. It goes straight to voice mail.

I call over and over and over until I’m just staring at the phone and getting more and more pissed every time her voice mail picks up.

“This is Selena. You know what to do.”

I’m not sure how many times I’ve called her when I finally leave a message.

“Selena, this is your fucking husband. Where the fuck are you? And if you think you’re fucking done with me, you’re dead wrong, sweetheart. Better get ready, because I’m fucking coming for you.”

An absent thought about winning an award for the number of times I’d used variations on the word fuck floats through my brain as I hang up and call Cannon.

“Dude, the deal is inked. You better not have cold feet now,” he says rather than hello.

“She’s gone,” I say without preamble.

“Come again?”

“She’s fucking gone. Left a note that said good-bye. She’s fucking gone.”

“Shit. Maybe we can undo the deal.”

“That’s not why I’m calling. It’s only money. What I want is my fucking wife back. So go find her.”

Cannon clears his throat. “Um, she called. This afternoon, but I knew you didn’t want to be disturbed.”

Unable to believe what I just heard, I still. “Please repeat yourself.”

“She called. I told her you were busy.”

“And what did she say?” I bite out each word.

“Nothing. She just . . . hung up.” In the background, I hear Cannon typing furiously. “I’ll get our guy on it. I’ll check her credit cards.”

My brain, exhausted from hours at the negotiating table playing mind games with the other side, shifts into gear again. “You’re going to have to track her personal credit cards, because she left the one I gave her.”

“Damn, man. That’s harsh. Or maybe nice? Fuck, I don’t know. At least she didn’t go out and spend a shit-ton of money and leave you with the bill.”

“Considering she left every other goddamn thing—the clothes, the shoes, the fucking guitar—I’m not surprised.” The fact that she left the guitar grates the most. It’s a giant fuck-you, if I’ve ever seen one.

The guitar is what trips my memory. Fuuuuck.

I fucked up. Her tour; she had to be there. I didn’t even think. She has no idea what I did for her . . . and she fucking left.

“I’ll call you back when I’ve got something,” Cannon says.

“No need. She’s gone back to Nashville. Get the jet online. I want to be in the air in an hour. Make sure I’ve got a car waiting on the tarmac, and text me her fucking address.”

The last part is a little humbling to add, considering I should probably know my wife’s address for her last residence. But I also didn’t care enough to ask before. Because I was more than content to have her in my bed, in my fucking penthouse, and not ask many questions about her life before me. That was apparently a big fucking mistake.

“Will do, man. Hold up—the jet is already ready to go. Captain Jim is on standby.”

Of course it fucking is. Because I forgot. I dig a finger and a thumb into my temples and close my eyes.

“Tell the captain I’ll be right there.”

“Will do.”

I hang up and head for the bedroom. All the clothes I instructed a personal shopper to pick out for Selena mock me as I fill my suitcase. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to pack for groveling, and I sure as hell haven’t ever been to a country concert, but I’m fresh out of flannel shirts and cowboy boots. So I toss in some jeans, T-shirts, a few suits—because you never know when you might need one—and all the rest of my shit.

I’m out the door in less than ten minutes. I’m going to find my wife.

In Nashville, dawn is still a couple of hours away when I park the rented Mercedes SL65 AMG at the curb of an apartment building that has seen better days.

This is where Selena lives?

My anger at her record label grows exponentially. They’ve been making plenty of money off her, and yet she’s been paid practically nothing for her work. Motherfuckers. That’s going to end in short order.

I make my way up the crumbling sidewalk to the cracked stoop and scan the list of names by the door. Before I press the buzzer, someone exits and holds the door open for me, so I’m able to head right upstairs—because the security is fucking nonexistent.

Wickman is listed as being on the fourth floor, apartment E, and there’s a sign taped to the elevator that reads Out of Order in faded black marker. I can only guess how long it’s been there. One thing is for damn sure—Selena won’t be staying another night in this dump.

I climb the steps three at a time and knock. It’s the closest approximation I can get to polite at this point.

I wait.

No answer.

I knock again. Less politely.

No answer, so I bang on the door.

“Selena, open the fucking door.”

The door across the hall creaks open, and I turn to see a blond guy with dreads sticking his head out.

“Dude, keep it the fuck down. Some of us are trying to sleep.”

I ignore him and continue banging on the door.

“She ain’t here, man. And I don’t think she’s coming back for a while.”

According to the tour schedule Cannon e-mailed me, they weren’t scheduled to be in Dallas until the night after tomorrow.

I turn back to the stoner. “How do you know she isn’t here? And how the fuck do you know she’s not coming back for a while?”

“Calm down, bro. I saw her carry a suitcase out last night.”

I don’t ask why he was watching Selena carry a suitcase out because it doesn’t matter. She’s never coming back to this place, and she’ll never see him again.

I call Cannon when I hit the curb. “She’s already gone. Find out where that tour stops next.”

“On it.”

“Now. While I’m on the goddamn phone.”

“Said I’m on it, Crey. Hold on, I got something. Looks like there’s a new stop on the tour.”

I climb into the Mercedes and haul ass back to the jet.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I say to the security guard standing between me and the entrance to the backstage area of the Majestic Theatre in San Antonio.

“No one gets back here without a pass, and you ain’t got a pass.”

“My wife is back there.”

“Don’t fucking care, man. You ain’t got a pass. You call her and you get her to give you a pass, then you can go back there.”

Considering Selena still hasn’t answered a single one of my calls, I’m not about to admit that isn’t a possibility. I’ve spent all day in San Antonio trying to track her down, and my patience is shot. The theatre lights go dark.

“Show’s startin’, man. Get your seat before I have you escorted out.”

I open my mouth to argue, but a spotlight snaps on, illuminating the stage, and a very round man dressed in a radio station T-shirt strolls out with a microphone.

“Are ya’ll ready for this little lady?”

The crowd yells back, but apparently their response isn’t sufficient for his purpose.

“I said, are ya’ll ready for Selena Wix?”

The crowd roars, and I decide the security guy’s suggestion isn’t a bad one. I might as well find my seat, because it seems I’ve finally found my wife.

I had to buy a ticket from a scalper out front because the show was sold out. On the upside, my seat’s in the second row, so I’m not going to complain. Leaving the security guard behind, I slide down the row to my designated seat to find three screaming teenage girls on one side of me, and a middle-aged woman who is not at all excited on the other.

I ignore all of them as the announcer says, “Then give a warm San Antonio welcome to Ms. Selena Wix!”

The spotlight goes dark for a moment, and a drummer starts with a beat. One guitar joins in, and then a second, and the stage lights come up.

And there she is.

My fucking wife.

She’s wearing a tiny black leather skirt, over-the-knee silver leather boots with fringe, and a tight silver halter top. Her hair is bigger than I’ve ever seen it, and a ton of glittery makeup has her looking every inch the country starlet.

“Hey, San Antonio! Ya’ll are lookin’ gorgeous tonight.”

Her accent is thicker than I’ve ever heard it. It rarely slips out when she’s around me, and I wonder if she tries to hide it. I don’t like the idea of my wife hiding anything.

My thoughts are drowned out of my brain when the teenage girls next to me start screaming in the highest pitch humans can probably register. I catch phrases like, “Selena, we love you!” and “Selena, you’re so awesome!”

For a moment I wonder if Selena was like those girls in her younger years. Going to concerts and dreaming about standing on a stage like this, and playing for a crowd.

“Love you too, girls!” Selena calls out before launching into an upbeat song.

It’s one that even I recognize because it’s the music on a commercial that has been airing for months. Most of the crowd rise to their feet, many singing along with her.

I stay seated, soaking up the woman onstage in front of me.

I’ve heard her sing in the shower, and compared to this it was like listening to Beethoven plink out a masterpiece on a child’s toy piano—absolutely no comparison.

Selena’s incredibly fucking talented.

And she’s mine.

The crowd loves her—including the guy with the sign that says Marry Me, Selena.

She can’t fucking marry you, douchebag. She’s already married to me.

Right then, I realize I’m jealous. For the first time in my life, I’m fucking jealous. And it’s of a teenage boy holding a piece of hot pink fucking poster board.

I don’t get jealous. Ever. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, and I don’t like it.

Selena plays only five songs before thanking the crowd and waving as she leaves the stage.

I could have listened to her—watched her—all night. Her sweet twang sank its claws into me, and those sassy lyrics were made all that much sassier by her red lips and swinging hips.

I think I’ve just become a country music fan. Cannon will never let me hear the end of it.

As soon as the theatre lights come up between acts, I’m out of my seat and heading for the security guy. I’ve got my wallet out and two grand in my hand when I stop in front of him.

“Not again,” he mumbles. “Dude, step off.”

“You see that woman who was just onstage?”

He nods as if he’s bored with this conversation already.

“She’s my fucking wife.”

He looks down at my hand. I think he’s looking at the money, but his words prove me wrong.

“Where’s your ring then?”

I frown. I brought Selena’s ring to the hotel room on New Year’s Eve. I didn’t even consider getting one for myself, and Selena hasn’t mentioned it.

Right then I decide that I want Selena to want me to wear a ring. Why the hell hasn’t she brought it up before?

“I don’t have one. Newlyweds. You might have read about it in the paper. I’m Justin Karas.”

He raises one dark eyebrow. “The billionaire dude?”

“Yeah.”

He tilts his head. “Yeah. I guess you could be him.”

I flash my license at him. “I am him.”

“Still ain’t letting you backstage without a pass. So put your money away, man.”

I grit my teeth, all the muscles in my jaw clenching.

“But you can wait out back by the tour buses after the show. She’ll be going out that way, and you can talk to her then. If she wants your ass with her, then she can tell her security to let you on the bus.”

I try to hand him the money, but he waves it away. “Nah, man. I’ll get fired, and I like my job.”

Fair enough. “Thanks for the heads-up.”

“Better get yourself a beer and enjoy the rest of the show.”

“I’ll do that.”

And I do.

Four beers and two more acts later, and I’m finally making my way around the back of the theatre to wait. What I find there surprises me. I’m not talking about the heavy metal barricades creating a path for the talent—those don’t surprise me. No, it’s the half-naked women shoving each other aside to press against those metal barricades. Security is stationed along the way, trying to hold them back, but the women are adamant that they’re going to see some guy named Boone or BT or something like that.

I make my way to the edge of a barricade as politely as I can, because I’m not about to shove my way through a bunch of women. But then again, I’m not taking a chance that I’ll miss Selena, even if I do feel fucking ridiculous waiting outside with rabid fans like this.

Finally, the back doors open and a swarm of security precedes a crowd of people. The women start screaming, and I’m lifting my hands to plug my ears when I catch sight of Selena.

I call her name, but I don’t yell it. She doesn’t hear me. Another dozen feet and she’ll be standing right in front of me.

Rage burns in me as they get closer and I see the last guy who played—this Boone guy—with his arm around her, holding her against him.

What the fuck?

“Selena.” This time it comes out louder and harsher.

The guy drops his arm and comes to the railing a few feet away from me to sign some woman’s tits. Classy guy. Selena continues toward the bus.

“Selena!”

She jolts to a stop, turns, and her eyes go wide as they lock onto mine. She stumbles, and another man reaches out to steady her. I don’t like his hands on her any more than I liked the last guy’s arm around her.

Her smile is tight when she comes toward the railing. The tit-signing genius comes down the line, meeting her in front of me.

“You okay, sugar?” he asks her.

Selena opens her mouth to respond, but I beat her to it. “She’s fine. She’s just wondering why her husband is standing with the groupies.”

His eyes cut to me. “So you’re the husband, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m the husband.”

He looks to Selena. “Didn’t mention he was comin’.”

“I didn’t know he was,” she says quietly.

“How about you move this reunion onto the bus?” Boone says.

Selena nods, and he gestures to security. “Get him on my bus. We’ll be there in five.”

A security guard hops the fence and leads me around the crowd to the tour buses. We slide between the barriers and he raps on the door. It opens, and I climb up the stairs.

It’s not the pit I expect it to be. Aside from a case of empty beer cans and a few empty liquor bottles, there’s not much garbage. Some clothes, drumsticks, notebooks, guitar picks, and video game controllers litter the counter and table.

I stand next to the couch and wait.

It takes longer than five minutes. Impatient, I move to the tinted windows and watch their slow progression—signing autographs and taking pictures from awkward angles.

Finally, the door opens again, and Selena climbs inside.

I’ve made myself at home on the couch, and I’m considering what to say. But she beats me to it.

“What are you doing here?” she asks without prelude.

“Looking for my wife,” I reply.

She mumbles something in response.

“Excuse me?”

“I said I’m kinda surprised.”

My first instinct is to defend myself, but there’s really no point. I screwed up, and I know it. That doesn’t mean I’m not still pissed that she didn’t wait just a little bit longer before she walked out.

I decide an apology is the best choice. It’s not my usual, but I’m surprised how easily the words come. “I’m sorry, Selena. I fucked up. I told you I’d be somewhere, and I wasn’t.”

Her mouth drops open, and I’m instantly reminded of all the things I want to do to that mouth.

A slow clap starts from the front of the bus, interrupting the conversation.

“Now that’s a guy who knows how to grovel. I’m taking notes, man, in case I ever get myself up shit creek.”

He strolls down the aisle and holds out a hand tattooed with what looks like brass knuckles with skulls. “Boone Thrasher.”

I stand and appraise him, man-to-man. “Justin Karas.”

We shake hands, neither trying overly hard to crush the other’s, which is more than I expected from a guy with brass knuckles tattooed on his hand. Assumptions and all that.

He’s still wearing the ripped jeans, camo ball cap, and biker boots he wore onstage, although he must have pulled on a new T-shirt because he ripped the last one off mid-performance.

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