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#and dont even get me wrong here its not that im giving up without trying
ennuidays · 8 months
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think im back in my Everyone is stupid era bcuz im mad at people for literally no reason
#rolls eyes#by people i mean like maybe. 3 . and i barely talk to them . Well lately#iunno something about the way . they all act the same but they would never admit it . and theyre the type of people to complain without#trying to fix the problem#i dont know . theyre always like#i dont know what to do ! im so miserable ! why isnt everyone doing exactly what i want them to ! pay attention to me !#i cant possibly be the problem here !#and nobody ever tells them otherwise because its mean🥺 itll hurt their feelings ... what if they do something bad...!#in which case 1 i dont care and 2 they shouldnt be interacting with other people if theyd do that#it pisses me off because they always think theyre some helpless animal that cant fend for itself#but they also think they can do no wrong and if for a moment they DO think they did something wrong#the thought isnt even explored because either 1 they got coddled or 2 the victim complex kicks in#everything bad happens to me ! why does nothing good ever happen to me ! how come every relationship i have fails !#well the obvious answer is you are the constant in this experiment . if you remain unchanging but the factors around you change each time .#You are the cause .#and i dont get the fear around being wrong or fucking up like that . who gives a shit . if you put in the effort youre a good person .#it doesnt matter who or what youre doing it for . if youre trying to improve yourself you are not a bad person at your core .#you say all that though and all they say is I am trying !!! i just dont know where to start...!!! and theyve been trying for years#like bud clearly something isnt working#i dont know . maybe this is me viewing life as an experiment but Really if you analyze this shit closely you can find an easy answer#ok rant over !
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toastsnaffler · 2 years
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ughf. maybe I should just stay at home until the new year by this point.
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jaiistg · 1 year
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Hi there!! I saw you write for saiki k so I was wondering if you could write a Kusuo Saiki x reader oneshot where the reader designs some sort of mechanism? Equipment? (Idk what word to use) that helps him with his X-ray vision, and he can finally get a good look at the reader and thinks they're prettier than Teruhashi??
Sure anonymous! Thanks for requesting<33
"You got some soft lips and some pearly whites.I wanna touch them in the dead of night.Your smile ignites just like a candlelight.Then somehow, I know everything's alright"
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•It was Saiki's birthday and you wanted to give him a present !! You spended DAYS thinking of what to give him until you finally thought of the perfect present.
•A mechanism to help him with his X-ray vision! Perfect. You started working on it immediately and it turned out pretty good.Finally it was Saiki's birthday and it was time to give it to him.
"Happy birthday Saiki !! Here is my present for you!!"
"You didn't really have to."
"But I wanted to give you something!"
"Alright alright."
"What is this?"
"Its a mechanism to help you with your x-ray vision ! I know that you only see through an object or living organism's skin and see their flesh.This mechanism can help you to take a good look of something."
"Oh wow.Let me try it."
"...."
"Saiki...?"
"....."
•HE WAS SO SHOCKED LIKE IS THAT REALLY HOW YOU LOOKED LIKE?? YOU MADE HIM SPEECHLESS..." "Saiki why are you red? Are you sick?"
•He straight up blurted out "Your so pretty." "EHHH?"
•He thanks you for making this for him ! It means alot.Now he can take a good look at you.It calms him down whenever he looks at your face but he doesn't know why.
•Your features are very beautiful.No wonder your one of the popular girls.And even if you have such a angelic face your kind inside out without pretending.Still if someone harasses you,you dont let that past and teach them a lesson.Saiki likes that about you,he admires how you can be nice but whenever someone messes with you,you wouldn't hesitate to teach them a lesson.
•Dont get me wrong, Teruhashi is beautiful too.But there is something about you that draws him in.He thinks that your more beautiful than Teruhashi and boy...Your so fluttered that he thinks your more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the planet! "That means alot,thankyou Saiki"
"Im just telling the truth :)."
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Author's note:Im not sure if this is really what your looking for but I did try my best.and I hope you enjoy it<33.
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artdcnaldson · 3 months
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and when we move on (we dont) and get a new boyfriend and get engaged all within the span of six months and suddenly art finds himself at your engagement party and you look happy and he thinks maybe he imagined his importance to you - maybe he had it wrong and he was the fleeting obsession. how else are you able to move on so quickly? he's miserable but he still plucks up the courage to come congratulate you even if he doesn't mean a word of it. says, "you look beautiful - honestly." just because, well you do.
and its then that your mask slips - you look like art punched you - not those slaps you'd both traded in the past - but like he'd genuinely punched you in the gut. wounded ane pained like he'd just said the most awful thing in the world to you. and your hands tremble when you hand him your champagne glass and mumble "im sorry - excuse me -"
you have to be somewhere alone. suddenly constricted and panting and you find and alcove to lean against and you feel tears burn your eyes and even worse still, a presence at your back - "hey, what -" because of course its him, of course it is. "what's wrong - what did i say -"
you could laugh. you could laugh if a sob wasn't cut off in your throat. you hate him. on your engagement day. the nerve to say you were beautiful. with those genuine eyes and soft expression - like he meant it. like he always thought you were.
he breaks your heart and and you try to move on - you let yourself drown in the next man that shows you attention because arts words follow you everywhere - how you're not the marriage type - well, your fiance wanted you. he wanted you and that had to be enough because if you remained alone and unwanted you think you'd die from the pain of it -
so for him to say something like that now - all of the sudden -
"why do you hate me? i left you alone, didn't i? patricks still your friend. you have everything you wanted - I just want to move on, art. I just want to be wanted - why are you here?"
GODDDDD your mind <3
You know it’s sudden— everyone knows it’s sudden. But you’re the only one who knows why you rushed into it so intensely. Why, after six months with someone, you agreed to marry someone who you hardly even knew.
You knew the basics— Charlie wanted to be a college professor. His mother was filthy fucking rich, old money, and she liked that you came from an affluent background. He enjoyed skiing, and watching tennis, and he did rowing in high school. He was allergic to cats. He liked ordering raw oysters and slurping them down embarrassingly loud at restaurants. He never ordered for you, always paid the bill, never pushed you past a heavy makeout session on the couch.
Because you couldn’t go past that anymore. You couldn’t be easy, couldn’t give it up. You had to be the type of girl someone would marry, you had to be girlfriend material, and wife material, and mother material.
Charlie wanted to get married, wanted a big family, and you checked those boxes for him. You’d never have to want for anything, he’d pamper you and keep you spoiled like you were used to. He was strawberry blonde like Art, but his smile was more refined and practiced, and you wish it wasn’t. When he proposed you said yes, and cried tears that were supposed to be happy, but how could you know for sure?
Art shows up to the engagement party as Patrick’s plus one, and you feel dizzy. But you have to be normal— you can’t give anything away. You just… try to avoid him. When he starts gravitating your way, you find an excuse to talk to someone else, or make your way into the kitchen for a fresh drink. Anything to stay away, because you can’t fucking see him. You can’t do that right now, or ever.
But of course he finds a way— he’s too polite or maybe he’s just too cruel to leave the party without offering a congratulations. You’re cornered like prey, grip so tight on the stem of your champagne flute that you’re worried it’ll snap.
And he doesn’t say congratulations. He just looks at you with a genuine, completely earnest smile and says, “You look really beautiful. He’s really lucky.”
You feel your heart seize in your chest, like someone’s grabbed it and squeezed viciously. The corners of your mouth twitch downwards, but you fight it and bring a polite, practiced smile to your lips. “Could you excuse me for a second?”
He looks confused as you put your glass in his hand, as you close his fingers around it so he doesn’t drop the expensive crystalware. As soon as you’re sure he has it, you’re weaving through the many guests to find solitude. Most of them are Charlie’s friends, few are your acquaintances— people that would just as soon pray on your downfall as they would offer a sweet congratulations.
You slip into the hallway feeling suffocated, drawing quick breaths through your nose until you tuck yourself away in a nicely tucked away alcove and take a slow, steadying breath.
But Art lingers at the edge of your vision, and you want to just cry and cry as he gets closer, as he puts a comforting hand on your shoulder.
“Hey, what…” his brow furrows, he searches your face for some sort of clue, something to help him understand. “What’s wrong? What did I say?”
The noise you let out is strangled, almost animal. You look at him and see that he means it, he doesn’t fucking know, he doesn’t understand. Maybe he just can’t.
“I can’t believe you’re—“ your voice cracks and you look away from him. You can’t stand to see that kicked puppy expression, the earnest concern. You can’t fucking look at it. “And after everything?”
Charlie is a good man. Charlie makes you happy, or he can one day, with time and distance. And he sees you as someone he wants to spend his life with. Isn’t that enough? Why is Art trying to spoil it for you when the alternative is proving him right? That would kill you. You’d rather just die.
“I was just…” he trails off, turns your face toward him with two fingers against your chin. The softest he’s ever touched you, and it feels so foreign and wrong that it shatters something inside that you thought you’d fully repaired. “I thought you’d want to know. That I still think about you, that I want you to be happy.”
Tears spill down your cheek, inky and black from your mascara. “You’re so fucking mean, Art.” Your voice is weak as you look at him. He drops his hand back to your side, but stays close, so close you’re reminded of how intoxicating his presence can be. “Why are you doing this to me? Huh? I did what you asked and I left you alone. And I didn’t tell Patrick, because I didn’t want to hurt you. Why isn’t that enough? Why are you trying to spoil this for me?”
Confusion and hurt flashes across his features. Is that what you thought he wanted? For you to really leave him alone? He didn’t want that, it nearly fucking killed him. He spent the end of senior year tanking in tournaments, he hardly slept.
Patrick had told you about Art floundering, and it made you sick. You’d actually laid in bed crying about it, wracked with guilt. You thought it was all because of you, because you’d distracted him and ruined him.
It felt like he was there only to remind you that you were poison. That you would do the same to the sweet boy just through a set of double doors as you had done to him. But you wouldn’t. You’d never do that again.
“Charlie wants me. I’ve been his girlfriend for only a few months and he already wants to marry me,” your wavers pathetically as you think back to what Art had said back home. The prospect that he could be right was fucking terrifying, but you’d left that girl behind. “He could be the only one who wants me like this. So why are you trying to show up to my engagement party and look at me like you— like—“
You can’t say it, but he knows. He looks at you and he knows. You wince as he sinks to his knees in front of you, tears filling your eyes. Because his hands slide up your calves, settle on the back of your thighs.
He kisses your knee, softly, reverently, looks up at you with soft, desperate eyes. You sigh softly as his lips trail up, skimming along your soft thighs. You lean back, pressing against the wall, feeling yourself melt for him.
“Art,” you gasp weakly. “You can’t. We— we can’t.” You know you’re speaking the truth, but your words and your actions aren’t aligned. Your fingers card into his hair, and your entire body lights up when you finally touch him again.
It aches in your chest— longing and hurt and love and hatred. You never felt as much as you do with him. Charlie doesn’t light up that part of you the way Art does. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it needs to be hidden away, cut off like a rotting limb.
His lips press to the spot just beneath your hem, and he peers up at you. “Let me.”
Not a question. A plea. Let him.
Let him what? Love you? Touch you? Let him eat you out in the shadows of a hotel hallway? Let him back in? Let him have you? Let him be yours to worship again?
“Okay,” your voice is barely above a whisper. “Okay.” You repeat, just to make sure you’re certain. Of what, you don’t know.
His head slips beneath the skirt of your dress, and you moan softly at the press of his lips over your panties. Soft, sweet kisses over the fabric that make you open up for him. You feel need dripping from your center, longing.
You haven’t been touched since him— not that he’d ever actually tried. But having him touch you, kiss you… it feels like ice melting.
He tugs your panties to the side, mouths at your cunt like he’s kissing it. Like he’s kissing you. You moan softly, let your head knock against the wall.
“Art—“ you practically sob. His tongue parts you, laps at you from your dripping entrance to your clit. He moans and nuzzles closer, lets his nose rub against your clit as he presses his tongue inside of you. He squeezes at your thighs, dimples the plush flesh there.
You’re so sensitive— it’s a combination of months of barely even touching yourself, of missing him, of craving him. You’re dripping onto his tongue, moaning softly. You can’t manage more than soft gasps of his name, pleas for more— Art Art Art Art Art.
He draws your orgasm out easily, like it belongs to him. Laps at your release, works you through it until your knees are shaking. He pulls back, mouth glistening with your release.
He stays on his knees, presses another soft kiss to your thighs, and another, over and over again. Soft, reverent, tender. He looks up at you so earnestly, so desperately, that you feel a sob stick in your throat.
“I need to get back,” you say suddenly, when the ache in your chest is too much to bear. “Charlie’s probably wondering… you know— I’ve been gone too long.”
“Charlie?” Art asks, his voice weak, pathetic. He’s still looking up at you from his knees, and he has to scramble up when you start walking towards the women’s bathroom to tidy your makeup. “Why are you doing this?“
He could be asking anything. You answer what you think he needs to hear, what h ended a to know. “He’s going to be a good husband, Art. He’s always sweet, and he’s never… he doesn’t just see me like— like what you see.” You take a steadying breath. “What you said to me back home was true, I know that now. But I can’t just be alone. It’ll kill me.”
You pause, let your lip twitch into a sad smile. “Just please leave me alone, Art.”
You slip into the bathroom, he hears you click the door locked so you can’t follow. Not like last time. When he returns to the party, he drinks three more glasses of champagne. He leaves before Charlie gives a toast to you, to your impending marriage. He can’t fucking stomach it.
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seikkoi · 6 months
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ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ | t. stark & s. strange x f!reader
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Step one: Work at one of the most successful research laboratories in the country. Step two: Don't fuck it up. Step two and a half: Do not fuck it up.
content/warnings: mildly dubious consent (sooo uncharacteristic of me), degradation, power dynamics, voyeurism, shy reader, org*sm denial, v*ginal fingering word count: 2.6k a/n: im having a small fixation on our favorite witchy doctor dont worry abt it
Shitshitshit!
You chastised yourself mentally over and over again, watching the bright blue numbers tick downwards. It might make sense to get up, scramble across the lab, fling your hand around the incubator and pull the plug. That’s what an amateur would do, but you’re an expert and know that will do fuck all for you now. Then again, an expert would have set the goddamned temperature correctly. 
You’d fallen asleep at your desk–a natural consequence of several late nights collecting data (or drowning in term papers and reports). In your half-awake state, right before your head hits the table, you set the temperature twenty degrees lower than it should be. Dreamland gave no clues to the impending doom awaiting you. Instead, you dreamt of a tropical paradise. Your sunny fantasia was inevitably interrupted by the persistent beep that echoed the labs walls.
The digits keep trickling down, and you rest your head in your heads. All you can do is wait for it to hit zero. Thousands of synthetic cultures–gone. That was two months of work down the drain, and your bosses expected a very long report, printed and neatly stapled by the end of this week. 
You were so fucking fired.
The numbers finally stop, the computer beeping tauntingly as if you needed verbal confirmation on how screwed you were. You could not even begin to imagine how you would explain this. You worked at one of the best laboratories in the world, there wasn’t room for rookies errors here. Especially not when they come from supposed wannabe professionals like you (and cost millions of dollars). Your first week some larger-than-life MIT grad used the wrong inventory system and was gone by noon. You weren’t any better, just some Ph.D candidate trying to boost her resume. 
The computer stops, and in its absence you pick up on the slight tick of the clock on the desk. The red analog reads 9:57 PM. Late, but not too late for your bosses to still be around. You’re nauseous with guilt, but you can’t imagine carrying it through the night, working with nothing through the rest of week just to get canned on Friday.
No, you’d accept your fate now.
If you were lucky, you’d only have to talk to one of them. 
You don’t have a preference for either. Stark had no issue showing dissatisfaction through his words, often sternly and without grace. The good part was that he was the same way with praise, although you rarely managed to earn that. Strange on the other hand was, well, strange. You barely interacted with him, but when you did you always left the conversation not sure if he despised you or merely tolerated your presence. It changed your working attitude from focusing on the science to scrambling for perfection to gain even the faintest ounce of approval. 
Obviously, not well enough if you were making Alaska-sized mistakes like this. Both were equally arrogant (unfortunately, well deserved) and you knew neither of them well enough to plead for your job. 
You make your way down the dim hallway, passing the empty offices and labs. More than one mental pep talk passes through your mind. The end of the hallway held your demise, a cracked open door holding an illuminating light and a pair of voices. 
All you could do was hope they weren’t too harsh.
Beyond the wooden door, you listen to two voices argue indiscriminately. 
“I suppose you think we should just give it away.” one says exasperatedly, and you figure this is Stark by the sarcasm laced in each syllable.
“No,” the other sighs, “but our shareholders will never agree to this price point.”
“The shareholders will agree to whatever we tell them to.”
“You’re right, to a point. Still, we need to be realistic in our expectation of returns.”
“We haven’t done all this work for realism. We did it for profit and you want to sell our hard work to the lowest bidder.”
You tapped your knuckles against the oak door, heart beating in your chest. You went through a couple of opening lines–promises about how this would never happen again and pleas for understanding. Logically, you knew neither were likely to be granted. The voices on the other side grant you entrance that you take nervously. Inside, Stark sits at the large desk in the middle of the room. Strange stands beside him, peering over papers that you presume sparked their conversation. 
At the sight of you, both men seem to soften their hardened expressions. Whatever nonsense flared their words a moment ago is gone, replaced by confusion by their junior researcher at their door this late. Strange glances at the timepiece on his wrist before you can say anything, scoffing and shaking his head. 
“Yes, [y/n]?”
The annoyance drips, clearly not amused by your poorly timed visit. You wring your fingers in front of your body. 
“Firstly, sirs, I want to apologize, there was a mistake with the incubator, and the cultures were destroyed.” 
You wish you sounded more confident, but instead your eyes dart between the men and the floor. Your omission tumbles out in a whiny tone, waiting on every syllable for their faces to turn and tell you how stupid you were and how much you cost them in time and resources. That’s not how it goes, however. 
Stark leans back in the leather desk chair, metal creaking as his arms are crossed in front of his body. He makes an annoyed face, sure, but not the angry scowl you were dreading. 
Strange’s reaction is even more peculiar, chuckling slightly and glancing back at Tony.
“Did the incubator make a mistake, or did you?” he says lightheartedly, a grin stretching on his face, yet the words create a swell in your throat. 
Tony seems to find it amusing as well, watching Strange stalk towards you. He stops in the middle of the office. You’re less than two yards away, trying not to tremble under his gaze. 
“I did, sir, I’m sorry. I’ll gather my things and leave.” you whispered, hanging your head in shame. 
Your feet are on autopilot, turning for the door until Strange speaks again.
“Oh, there’s no need for that.” he chuckles. “Right, Tony?”
You turn back to see him looking towards Stark, who hums in approval. Even more confused, you watch as Strange beckons you closer, and you obey on instinct. 
“I don’t think it’s a good look for a Ph.d candidate to have a termination from such a large company on her record.” Tony coos from his chair.
“No, not at all. That might just tarnish her future.” Strange adds.
Their eyes rake over you. Stephen beckons you forward again, and you comply once more. Clearly, they were mocking you before giving you the boot. The condescending drip in their voices leaves your skin hot with embarrassment.
“We wouldn’t want that for you, sweetheart.” Tony sits up as Strange guides you towards the desk, a large hand resting on your back. 
“I-I don’t understand.” you stammer. 
They both share another laugh at your confusion. Stephen stands behind you once you reach the desk. He nudges you forward until your hips are flush against the edge. There’s still separation, but not enough that you can’t sense his body right behind yours.
“I’m sure a smart girl like you knows how valuable you are to us,” Tony locks eyes with you as Strange twirls your hair in his fingers. The touch shocks you to turn back to him, only for Strange to push you back to face Tony. 
“Everyone makes mistakes, after all.”
Your eyes widen when Stephen presses his body into yours, easily towering over you. Heavy hands trail down your jean-covered hips, hot enough to burn your skin through the denim.
“We’re very understanding, I’m sure we can work something out.” Stephen’s voice purrs in your ear, warm breath tickling your throat.
The glittering look in Stark’s eye is all too familiar, watching Stephen’s hands get acquainted with every inch of your form. You shudder under his touch. The blood in your veins runs cold as you catch a wink between the two men–and suddenly, you understand.
“Wouldn’t want your career to end before it even starts now would we?” Tony taunts. 
Fingers tease along your side. Soon, they work their way under your shirt, grazing the skin of your midriff. 
Any lingering uncertainty is snuffed when Stephen presses further into you. The desk digs into your hips, trapping you between it and the tall doctor. 
“I can’t–we can’t–this isn’t–”
Each attempt at a full sentence fails under Tony's lustful gaze. It’s quite enjoyable watching you fail against Stephen. Recruitment always seemed to be just the prettiest research assistants. Who could blame them for finally getting an opportunity for a taste? 
Not to mention you did just cost them a small fortune with your little mistake. Contrary to your beliefs, though, they liked your work ethic (and you, for that matter). Letting go of such a helpful piece of eye candy simply wouldn’t do. That doesn’t mean that kindness is a guarantee. 
“No?” Tony hums. “Well, we could always let you go. We can give a shining recommendation, of course having to mention your little incompetencies.” 
Being blacklisted would kill you. All you wanted was to work in this field. Years of late nights and term papers down the drain was a far greater loss than a few synthetic cultures. 
“Please, you don’t have to do that.” you plead. Behind you, Strange’s beard scratches your throat. His hands travel further north, dancing on the hem of your bra. Goosebumps spread across your skin.
“Like I said, I’m sure we can all come to some sort of compromise.” Stephen’s voice drops low and heavy, enveloping on your covered breasts in his right hand. He squeezes gently, tweaking your nipple through the padded fabric.
“W-what if someone finds out–please, just–”
“Oh, don’t you worry, honey. We know how to be discreet.” Tony smirks.
Your eyes can never seem to leave Tony’s, watching his smile grow as your arousal does. It’s against your doing. Stephen completely surrounds you, touching any part of you he could reach. You gasp when the doctor’s idle hand finds your other nipple, rocking himself into you as you squirm. 
“I think she wants to keep her job, don’t you, honey?” Stephen chimes in.
You nod nervously. If this would save your career, so be it. People have slept with their bosses for less, right? And you certainly weren’t blind, both men were attractive in their own rights, able to pander through a catalog of women much smarter and much more their style. It begs the question why they were doing this all–crossing such a boundary with a goddamned graduate student. 
“Oh no, honey, we’ll need to hear you say it.” 
You barely blink, nor breath, all brain power zeroing in on Strange’s heat pressed into you. Tony raises an impatient eyebrow and you manage to answer out of the need to appease him and keep your job. 
“Yes, I’ll do whatever you want.”
The second the words leave you, Stephen’s hand disappears from your shirt to push you over the desk. You would’ve face planted straight into it had his palms not wrapped tightly around each of your wrists, yanking your arms. You try to sit up, uncomfortably pressed between Stephen Itchy wool suit pants and the wooden desk. Tony gleams down at you as the doctor keeps a firm hand splayed across your back, his right hand reaching around for the zipper of your jeans. 
In the next moment, you feel cool air bend around your bare legs. Before you can have anything even remotely resembling second thoughts, your lace panties are quickly pulled to your ankles as well. Warmth flushes across your cheeks, feeling Stephen’s hungry eyes and fingers on your exposed cunt–all while Tony’s eyes stay locked onto you, smile growing wider as your shame does. 
That became harder the second rough hands grab the supple flesh of your ass before a teasing finger slid across wet folds. You squirmed against Stephen’s hold on your wrists, trying desperately to look anywhere but at your boss as you bit back a soft gasp.
“I think our pretty little assistant is feeling a bit shy, Stephen.” Tony declares, reaching out to caress the side of your face not pressed into the surface. It sends butterflies up your spine at how gently he draws tight circles on the skin of your cheek, humming in satisfaction from how roughly Stephen roams over your body.
“Tsk, I hardly believe that, as wet as she is right now.” he murmurs, distracted by the mess you wish you weren’t making. 
You kept your lips pierced tightly between your teeth, lids squeezing shut when a long digit pushes into your aching walls. A deep groan from Strange echoes behind you. You hardly had time to eat, let alone maintain a social life. This meant it had been almost months since you’d slept with anyone–leaving needy and aching from the simplest touch. Even if it was your boss. 
You instinctively try to pull forward when a second finger is roughly added, and this time you can’t stop the whimper as you stretch around him.
“There it is–feels good doesn’t it? Don’t be shy, honey.” Tony’s voice sounds like smolding ice, freezing your nerves and setting your skin on fire. 
You almost hate yourself for how good this feels, Stephen pistoning in and out of your cunt until the sounds of your arousal against his fingers flood the office walls. All while Tony strokes your face like you're made of fine china. It’s far more than your body can handle, stomach already tightening with each pulse of the doctor’s fingers. 
“Go ahead, hon’, tell us how much you like it.”
Your face warms. From his touch or embarrassment, you’re not sure. You stammer under the heat, trying to look anywhere but Tony’s piercing eyes. 
Stephen’s hand comes down strong on your exposed ass, earning a loud cry from you as you strain against his hold. It shouldn’t make your head spin as much as it does.
“That wasn’t a request, answer him.” the doctor commands, gripping your wrists even tighter. When you take a second too long to muster a response, another strike falls on your opposite cheek. Your nerves are nearly disintegrated, still relishing good his finger feel stretching your cunt.
“It–it’s good, it feels–” you cry out once more when he spanks you again, taunting you for being too quiet. 
“It feels really good, sir.” you say louder, nearly shouting into the wood as your legs shake. 
Tony laughs above you, only worsening your shame. It’s an easily forgotten feeling–Stephen’s fingers curl inside you, testing each angle until he finds the one that makes you squirm. Soon enough, you forget where you are entirely, barely able to tell where your skin and theirs begin. Your high is far too close to care about the way Tony watches you, or how bruised your wrists will be after Stephen’s done with you. 
Just as your mind starts to split into two, it’s quickly interrupted. Stephen withdraws from your soaking cunt, leaning over you to press you impossibly further into the desk, unbuckling the leather belt at his waist. You jerk your head up at the ache between your legs, meeting Tony’s devilish smirk. Warm lips grace your ear, chuckling at your needy panting. 
“Aw, poor thing. Don’t think we’d let you off that easy–you’ll need to earn it.” Stephen whispers.  
As he sinks into you, you get the feeling this mistake will take quite some time to pay back. 
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rotthepoet · 2 months
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Continuing my mean lorenzo berkshire brainrot, he is so enemies to lovers coded.
Like he’s a 1990’s movie bully. Yknow that scene where Malfoy sends Potter a little animated note of him being struck by lightning??(i feel like it was prisoner of azkaban) yeah imagine that being thrown at your head. Like. Everyday in class
Hes like mean and pathetic and its WILD dude.
He so just shoves you when no ones looking- straight up pushes you into a fountain-
You dont even know what you did to get on his bad side! He doesnt even remember!
Its probably because this pretty(gender neutral) person(you) showed him up in class after he answered a question embarrassingly wrong. He wasnt a fan of that. No one can be that good looking and smart at the same time, that bitch is cheating!
He will be your downfall if you let him. Like. Sabotaging all the way. Your life will be hell.
His friends kinda noticed how hes different around you tho. Like he can be mean but not VIOLENT.
Its Theo that figures out its a crush. And he doesnt let him live it down.
“Ohhh there goes your girlfriend, gonna go trip her again to see up her skirt you creep?”
Things like that but im not a posh Italian boy in a British boarding school so, like, phrase it better.
There are two ways you could get him to stop.
Slapping him or crying infront of him.
Both would make him slow tf down and short circuit.
1. If you slap him, hes going to look down at you with the dumbest look. Like. No thoughts behind those wide eyes. Scream at him, shove him, stomp away. he raises a hand to his cheek and grins so big because you touched him! He lowkey gets a little bit ✨freaky✨and imagines it all over again later. The bullying stops. He cant stop staring at you and following you everywhere though. Youre not sure which is worse lmao.
2. Bless your heart if you cry infront of him. He feels so bad suddenly its not even funny. Hes like half hugging you awkwardly to ‘comfort’ you and is lowkey trying to apologize without saying the words “im sorry” its kinda just pathetic and weird. If you run away crying he feels like a dick and leaves you alone for a bit :/ the cutie is crying and its his fault wtf this is so twisted! He might buy you a little treat to make up for it.
Once he falls he falls HARD. like downright obsessed. Blaise had to knock him upside the head because he wouldn’t shut up about you.
He’ll be talking to a girl and see you and literally push her away by the head so he can walk and talk to at you.
“Hey hows your day going? Did you do something with your hair? Youre going to potions, yeah? Let me walk you.”
And youre like. What?? He was telling you that you reek not even a month ago?? Is he gaslighting you? This new form of bullying is weirddd
and then he starts presenting you with gifts and trying to hold your hand like wtf?? He blows you a kiss from his broom on the quidditch field. Steals the damn mic and says “this win was for ___” and points at you and youre like “hello??? Who are you?? Get away from me?”
But eventually you fold and it turns out hes a nice guy. Somehow. You sometimes look baxk and think “how did i get here?? Where the hell am i??” But then he gives you a big ol smooch and it all gets better.
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miniy00ng1 · 1 month
Text
Bad Hand
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Five Hargreeves x Female!reader
wc: 1576
warnings: swearing, angst?, death (kinda), lmk if i missed anything
find my masterlist here
hi everyone! this is my first piece that ive ever published on tumblr! im a little nervous bc i dont think its that great but i thought id give it a go! sorry for any grammar errors and please give me feedback! thank you <3
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Ever since you met The Umbrella Academy, your life has been anything but normal–even though you are. Like any other pubescent kid, you admired them and their super abilities. Never imagining in any timeline becoming apart of their mess of a family. And now you couldn’t imagine a world without them.
You remember the day you met the super family. They had saved your life during a bank robbery gone wrong. The siblings came to save the citizens in the bank and managed to disarm every robber except for one. One had gotten away and grabbed onto the closest person they could–you. Your mother yelled and cried when you were pulled away from her.
And you were terrified to say the least. As the robber had his arm wrapped tightly around your neck and a gun pressed to your head you thought it was your last few moments on earth. “You freaks better stop fucking moving or I’m blowing her brains out!” The robber yelled. The Umbrellas stopped in their tracks. 
The siblings eyed each other. Communicating without speaking, their plan was set into motion. Allison shouted at the robber to distract him while Diego had thrown two knives in the robbers direction. One knocking the gun out of the robber’s hand and the other landing into his flesh. 
A bright blue flash appeared next to you and then you felt a rush of motion. You closed your eyes to stop the upcoming wave of nausea from the adrenaline of the situation. Not even noticing you were being held in someone’s arms. A comforting hand was rubbing up and down your arm and whispering calmly that you were safe. 
From then on you were always grateful for the Hargreeves siblings. You had stayed in touch with them and had grown close to them even as they grew apart. You were devastated when Five had disappeared, taking it the hardest as you had grown very fond of the boy who had comforted you during your traumatic event. You were even there for the family when Ben had died.
But now, the world was ending in three days, yet again, and no ones figured out how to stop it. You’ve done it before, in Dallas and the original timeline, but now as everyone has split off and accepted their fate you too start to question if it’s time to give up. 
You glance around from the white table you’re sitting at. Today is Luther’s wedding and  it’s beautiful, although rushed–there’s music, delicious food, and a relaxing atmosphere. Almost as if we have all the time in the world. The thought of losing this family for a third time makes your heart ache. You love them all.
There’s one Hargreeves that you feel differently towards in comparison to the familial love that you have for the rest of the family. Five Hargreeves, stuck in his teenage body after returning home from his apocalypse, was swaying by his lonesome on the dance floor drunk as could be. 
A sinking feeling settles in your stomach, clearly he has given up on trying to save the world–and if anybody had a chance of saving humanity, it would be him. Tears well up in your eyes at the thought of losing everyone you love. You get up in a haste needing to be alone as soon as possible. You head outside for a breath of fresh air, yet another thing that you’ll miss in three days. 
You find yourself quite emotional and you’d like to blame your raging hormones. While  returning from Dallas and escaping the apocalypse a second time, your body had an odd reaction seeing as you were not super like The Umbrella Academy and returned back to its teenage form.  It was quite a shock to everyone but the shock wore off fairly quickly when they were confronted by The Sparrow Academy.
The streets were quiet as you sat on the curb, hands enveloping your knees as you try to comfort yourself. It’s just you out there for a couple of minutes before you hear the door of Hotel Obsidian slamming open. 
Stumbling out comes a drunk Five, uttering nonesense and staggering towards you. “Hey! Y/N! You’re missing the party come back inside!” He hollers as he makes his way to the curb. You don’t respond as he stumbles to sit next to you, the stench of alcohol entering your nose. “Great party am I right?” He laughs out loud. You glance up at him to find him staring at you eyes half closed with a drunk haze clouding his eyes.
“Sure is Five. You seem like you’re enjoying yourself.” You respond glumly, returning your gaze the the empty road. “What’s wrong Y/N? Did you not like the steak they served? It was a bit tough if I do say so myself. But who am I to complain? I’ve had worse food in the apocalypse.” Five chuckles to himself, remembering the days he struggled to survive.
Anger starts to bubble inside of you as you stand up and start to pace,“This isn’t some joke Five. I’m about to lose everyone I love and not a single person inside of that damned hotel gives a shit. Including you.” Five’s faces hardens in response, your outburst seems to have sobered him up in no time.
Five joins you in standing, his nostrils flaring in frustration,“You think I haven’t tried my damn hardest to find a way out of this mess Y/N? Do you think I enjoy knowing that my family is going to die in three days? That you’re going to die. Everytime, I find myself in some apocalypse bullshit and everytime I have to fix it. Me! I’m so sick of trying and trying and nothing that I do works. So maybe, just maybe this time I don’t do anything and let everybody else deal with it because nothing I do ever seems to help!” Five turns away running a hand through his hair before shoving his hands in his pocket.
“I would do anything to live a normal life. To experience the many things I missed out on while I was gone. I want to be a moody teen and a messy 20-something year old. I want to go to experience the ups and downs of a relationship with the woman I love…” Five trails off glancing back at you, “But I’ve been dealt a shitty hand in life, haven’t I?” Five makes his way back to the hotel and you let him, too stunned to call out for him.
The following morning after Luther and Sloane’s wedding, you’re emotionally drained. You spent the whole night in your hotel room thinking about what Five said and how you should apologize. You were so selfish to not consider how he’s been to hell and back, multiple times. 
You head to the lounge area in the lobby, still deep in thought going over all the possible outcomes of your apology. Five, Diego, and Luther are seated at the bar in a hushed conversation as you approach. Tapping Five on the shoulder you ask if you can speak with him in private. He glances at you and says, “No. I have no need to speak with you. I have important matters to address.”
Out of all the things that could of happened, this was not something you considered. You were flabbergasted, hurt even. You knew you were selfish last night, but for him to not even give you the time of day to hear you out. “Woah there Five, you’re being a little harsh there to little Y/N.” Diego says, obviously caught off guard by Five’s attitude change towards you. 
“No, I’m not. I have nothing to say to her nor do I want to hear anything she says.” You try and shrink yourself smaller than you already are. You can feel everyone’s eyes on you as you mutter a quick apology and immediately beeline to the elevator. As the doors close you let yourself go. This is not how you wanted to spend your last days.
In the elevator, you begin to get a weird tingling sensation enveloping your body. Unsure if it’s the feelings from the interaction you just had with Five, you rush down the hallway to your hotel room as soon as the elevator doors open. A wave of nausea washes over you and panic sets in. This must be it. Everyone has slowly been disappearing and now it’s your turn.
Your hands shake as you struggle to open the hotel door with your keycard. You get a glimpse of yourself as you pass by a mirror in the room and it’s not good. Tears blur your vision as reality sets in. You’ll never get the chance to apologize to Five, you’ll never get to see any of the Hargreeves again, it’s over.
On the desk in the hotel room lies a notepad and pen. This is how you let them know. Let them know how much you care and how you’ll miss them. How much you love him and how you wish you could’ve lived a life with him that he yearned for. You try to write as much as possible to The Umbrella Academy but you only have so much time before–
POP
You’re gone. The only thing left is a half written note left for the Hargreeves siblings to find.
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crushedsweets · 2 months
Note
Can you share headcanons or more ninakate drawings? :)
YES I CANNNN!!! ok usual disclaimer, my AU drastically changes both characters!
i'm using this to focus on nina and 'the chaser'! mostly just rambling about how they would connect, thoughts on their relationship, whatever. not very romantic :') naturally I subdue the chaser a lot here
ok so. 'the chaser' isnt really kate, like most HCs go. the chaser is a violent, animalistic pawn of slendy that tears through everything slendy wants it to. she killed lauren, someone kate loved long before she got sick.
and dont get me wrong, nina is not some special exception. however, the chaser targets threats; lauren trying to take the pages. nina isnt a threat(slendy even sees her as an asset), but the chaser will drag her out of the mines by the leg with little care.
toby would escort nina if she's being stubborn about visiting kate. kate keeps telling both of them to stop trying to see her at the mines, saying she'll just come to the cabin more often. but they know she wont, they know she'll just sit and rot if nobody comes and drags her out - effectively leaving her completely isolated and only getting sicker and sicker.
i like the idea of the chaser eventually trusting Toby, and if Nina is always paired with him, she'll eventually be okay with Nina. especially seeing Nina tentatively bring her paper to scribble on, setting down bags of food for the chaser to tear into, water bottles, etc.
ok this is really goofy nobody laugh. you guys know that scene in tarzan where he's like poking at jane, lifting her hair and squeezing her face and stuff? i kinda see the chaser and nina like that.
theyre NEVER left alone together for the first few months, toby doesnt even let the chaser get close to nina, but maybe nina and kate are going on a walk and kate starts getting a headache and looks up and her eyes are glossed over and she hunches over and nina knows thats not kate anymore. nina taking nervous steps back, trying to figure out what she's supposed to do without toby, the chaser stalking forward. nina stumbles back and hits a tree, slides down and covers her head, immediately thinking of the time she caught kate tearing a grown man apart.
im just SO OBSESSED WITH THE CHASER BEING CURIOUS ABOUT NINA. the chaser knows ninas not a threat(+slendy likes nina), she associates nina with toby, and nina is so flashy and clams up so awkwardly. has the chaser crouched in front of a curled up nina, pushing her head back against a tree and tugging at her hoops. peeling off a fake eyelash and cringing at it. trying to bite her acrylics(in which nina yanks her hand away and the chaser stares at her hella pissy.)
really loving the idea of the chaser having a massive ass headache, curled on the floor, incapable of fighting. nina coming along and soothing its hair down and pulling it into a little hug and just sitting there. hurts a little to be squeezed so damn tight by the chaser, but she gets over it. . .
i dont think kate will EVER trust the chaser, but ninas a bit more optimistic. she'll go to the mines without toby now. she's learned to be quiet and gentle doing it, rather than her usual jumping and giggling and squealing. gives both kate AND the chaser time to wake up and come to her.
and ok ninas still totally sick in the head. while the chaser doesnt fully see her as a friend(or girlfriend), more like... a doll. ? a companion? something to pull around and grab and examine. and nina THINKS shes some special exception, she thinks she's so special that the chaser loves her, she loves how fucking terrifying it is while just squeezing her face, loves bragging to Toby and seeing his horrified face when he realizes Nina was left alone with it.
but frankly i am scared for nina cuz she is nowhere near as safe as she thinks she is. i could see kate starting to actively avoid nina. hiding out in the radio tower so nina cant find her, trying to push her away, telling her she doesnt want to see her. tell her slendy doesnt want her around, fake a headache, all of this. drama drama drama miscommunication issues etc etc ...
eventually nina needs to work on boundaries, listening to people, understanding she isnt that special, looking at things very objectively, actually examining danger, not seeking thrills, etc... all of that. big obstacle.
but nina loves the chaser, even if the chaser doesnt love her. and kates so fucking grateful it hasnt hurt nina yet.
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swanshapedheart · 3 months
Text
Poorlittlekoi’s statement
Disclaimer. I, the poster, am not Koi
I am someone putting her thoughts and response to her situation into the public as I was encouraged to do so. I feel it is also necessary to bring this up as well.
I do not want to be affiliated with controversy any further.
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“this whole situation has messed with my head to the point where i cant even send a text to most people without worrying they are gonna leak it or use it against me in the future,, svlvnsore was just bored and found me really annoying shown in screenshot one…. not only that they also called me out for heavily referencing or tracing when they reposted an artpiece thats doing the same thing. Svlvn said they are on my ass because i didnt credit who i referenced, when the person they reposted didnt do the same either proof in screenshot two three and four. Another thing i caught on to is that they SPECIFICALLY said they didnt care that i self harmed or did horrible things to myself when they posted about me. i have anxiety, i overthink! of course im going to do bad things to myself, im mentally unwell. proof in screenshot 5… and for screenshot 6, this is only an assumption, but saying that svlvn "didnt know" is something that really throws me off. when someone makes a callout post on someone else, there will OBVIOUSLY be harassment. thats just my thought, i feel like they knew what they were doing since him and his bf arent very good people either. especially holding onto old dms and gathering them up to use it against me, when they could have handled the situation privately with me, rather than hide it behind my back.
all of this could have been prevented if they handled it differently, and that goes for me as well.
im fully aware im in the wrong, but these people are wrong in some places too. and i want people to realize that.
many artists in tcc trace, reference, all the time. i dont understand why im slandered for heavily referencing something, not tracing. theres proof of an artist doing this FROM THE ORIGINAL ARTIST BTW in my dms right now but i dont get them involved
am i handling this situation immaturely? maybe, but arent they doing the same by harassing me? absolutely.
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when it comes to someone being racist/homophobic, people feel the need to harass this person to make them feel worse about what they did. this isnt how you handle a situation. harassing someone to the point they attempt suicide is just as bad as what i did, possibly even worse.
now i have recover slowly until i have the chance to even feel comfortable with myself again. i understand what i said and did was wrong, and im sitting here attempting to change and apologize to the people ive offended and hurt, but throwing that apology under the rug and making it seem like im guilt tripping is ridiculous.
so they cant say i didnt try to apologize, but nobody is guaranteed to accept my apology and thats okay. but putting it out there as if im guilt tripping when im giving reasons why i said it is not even giving me a chance to change
when it comes to growing up with a HUGE racist family, these words and beliefs become apart of my vocabulary and thoughts. its very hard to change that especially when i was always told "its just a word" and i hear it daily! growing up with these slurs has become so normal for me to say it just slips out with no worry, but ofc im seen as guilt tripping when i say this.
its different for each person, i saw a comment saying they grew up in a southern family and they dont say it, but thats them, not me.
people at school and during family events would peer pressure me into saying this slurs multiple times because they found it "funny." i slowly believed that as well.
i was a young teen being taught the wrong things, and seeing other people in tcc say it made me feel like i should say it as well to fit in and be edgy, since thats what the community is like
this situation is another lesson for me to learn, but other people in it need to learn that harassing someone isnt okay, either. especially when im trying to change, it doesnt make it any easier.”
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narwhalandchill · 5 months
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spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol
like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?
like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao
like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀
like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk
like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable
like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao
like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀
Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you
AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .
(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)
like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.
but then theres teucer.
And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All
Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????
yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....
like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.
like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up
hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭
A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap
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asegunda · 9 months
Text
Accidental Study Session
PJO
Pairings: Annabeth Chase x GN!Reader, I wrote this with a platonic relationship in mind, you can do whatever you want but I was craving platonic ones so I wrote one.
Summary: Annabeth always goes to the library when she has free time, mostly when she is trying not to die aka not being chased by monsters who want her dead or when she is at camp, and one day she meets other person with the same interest.
Notes and Warnings: Well this is my first work so I would be very happy if there is no bullying 🙏❤️, and English is not my first language, as you see at the description of my profile, and I just wrote this for my enjoyment so dont expect for me to start writing normaly.
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You were in the library two days in a row and Annabeth has been glancing at you. Not for the weirdo reasons of course, its just that you are holding one of her favourite books about architecture, more specifically, about the Renaissance era.
She just really wanted to talk to you and maybe hear your opinion, you didn't look too far from her age, maybe 2 years older at best...but she just couldn't, what if you just looked at her the wrong way, or if you really didnt want to talk and you just wanted to be left alone.
Annabeth sighed, and then made a decision.
She wasn't a Daughter of Athena for nothing. She had the courage to do this.
She aproached your table when you are reading and taking notes.
She sits at the chair in front of you and when you see her there you close your book (with the marker of course).
"Hmm. Do you need something?" You ask, making Annabeth almost jump.
"Oh, its just.." You can do this Annabeth. "I saw you reading that book and well its one of my favourites... so I wanted to know your opinion, since..well..I saw you taking notes." Did I talk too much?
"I see..well. This is a good read but Im just studying this because of my history classes. The next test will be about the Renaissance art and.. well Im very good at the history kind of topic but art isn't my favourite of all." You tell her but when you see that she is becoming a bit more tense you smile and say. "But Im glad someone likes this type of topic."
None of you talks for some seconds.
"Well if it isn't too much, could I read your notes?" She responds with a light of expectation.
"Sure, and its good that someone that understants this more than me sees it." You smile at her making her a bit embarassed for the compliment.
-♥︎-
You shared your name and Annabeth shared her's, and for the rest of that day she also helped you for your test and you two talked about other topics, eachother lifes (of course without all of that "Greek Gods are real and I'm a demigod" thing).
At the end of the day you were packing your things when you heard.
"Is it possible to do this more times?" Annabeth asked.
"I would love too." You smiled at her and Annatbeth couldn't almost contain her exciment.
Finally she could have a place to think about other things, things not related to being a demigod. She could even have a mortal friend, she interrupted those thoughts when you placed a paper in her hand.
"My number. If you want to contact me about these study sessions." You tell her and say again. "What's your number?"
Annabeth made the first excuse she could think of. "Well I dont remember it and I dont have my phone here."
You make a quick glance but just has it is there it disapears and you smile.
"Well, then you can always contact me trough that."
You two get out of the library and you make a quick wave.
"Goodbye Annabeth."
"Goodbye Y/n."
As you start walking away Annabeth just yells at you.
"Good luck on your test!"
You look at her and give her a thumbs up.
-♥︎-
The next time you are together you show her your result: 100%
Annabeth smiles.
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p-oisn · 2 months
Text
let's get positive ! (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠^⁠3⁠^⁠)
(the content below the cut contains mentions of sensitive topics such as implied su*cide & sh so pls scroll if you're uncomfortable w those !)
this is a long rant about life basically .. 💩💩
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i was going to make a post like this sometime later anyways bc i felt .. like a nice person ... but i made it a bit earlier than i expected bc i saw a post from oomf that really made me think .. so here u go
this comes from my own PERSONAL experiences and this is js my point of view yk !!! im no expert on any topic HSHSJ this is js the way i cope plz dont come for me in my asks ... i am aware that it isn't the same for everyone but , i hope this message can be helpful to some extent </3
if you feel like like life is leading nowhere n you feel like giving up I PROMISE it will get better bc i felt the same for two whole years n i will say that i have improved a LOT since . yes , it took me longer than i expected but i didn't give up and you shouldn't either ! it was hard n there were times i felt like i wasn't making any progress / improvement but in the end , it still got better
be kinder (to yourself, first) ☆
i think the first step to loving yourself is to forgive yourself .. its okay to try over n over again , you're still human n i think ppl tend to forget that often bc they're so tough on theirselves . let's not forget that your body is actively trying it's best to keep u alive , your WBCs for example ! (let's appreciate these little guys for trying their best 🎉🎉) your body too , deserves to be loved back , for fighting so hard just for YOU! so pls don't hurt yourself in any way </3
appreciate yourself for achieving even the smallest of tasks because even if it wasn't something big , YOU DID IT ANYWAYS ! every small achievement of yours deserves to be appreciated . even if it's momentary happiness , appreciate yourself while it lasts . i understand that sometimes even small things could be such a hassle but you can always reward yourself later ! i personally like to buy donuts everytime i finish something (this could come in handy when you're really craving something if you get what im saying ..)
It's okay if you're going at a slower pace than other people , what matters in the end is that you get it done ! everyone is not the same so it's unfair to put yourself down for such things .. also applies to comparing yourself to someone because in the end you'll still be you .. even if you don't like it .. that makes you unique ofcourse , there's only one of you in this world so embrace yourself for that !! you're one of a kind (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)
oh, but, life's the same, it's boring ... ☆
yes , a lot of days could end up being the exact same because like , there are 365 days in a year so you can except most of them to be similar .. but as a new year starts , ofc many things change without you even noticing it , you grow older ofcourse , and you could be starting a new year in school , you meet new people and so on ! if you compare your life from a year ago or even a few months ago to now , you'll surely notice a few differences atleast so .. life is not reaaaaally the same right .... everyday is a new experience ! literally anything and i mean anything could happen the next day , you could even win the lottery who knows 🤫
when i felt like everyday was the same , i tried changing my patterns .. (my current favourite thing to do is go on a walk ! sometimes i take my dog w me , it's super fun) i would do small things that i dont usually do like sketch ! or i attempt cooking something new .. but obviously there were a LOT of days where i did nothing , sometimes even weeks , and that's okay ! we all deserve days where we do nothing ESPECIALLY if you're someone who is working or js in school / college everyday .. you deserve that break
i think a big factor is being unproductive ? don't get me wrong , i still am my same unproductive self at times unfortunately , n sometimes they do get so bad that they lead to a terrible burnout .. n i went through a rly bad burnout not long ago n trust me you do not want to get this far :( how do i deal with this ? (let's take studying as an example here) well i always start off with small portions , even if it's just a page or two . n then i slowly keep increasing the amount of pages i read .. n yes ofc , i understand how brutal burnouts can get sometimes n that's why it's important to not overwhelm yourself by attempting to finish a big portion of your studies in one go .. just take it easy , let the information marinate in your head for a bit before you move on to the next topic .. so basically what im trying to say here is don't overwhelm yourself with big tasks especially when you're already burntout
friends .. they're great ☆
the thing that honestly improved my life by a mile is getting good friends .. I've had my fair share of bad friend groups so trust me when I say this , it's better to be alone than with people who drain you mentally because . you deserve someone who treats you the way you actually want to be treated .
"but it's hard to make friends" i completely get this because i am a very shy person myself </3 but i think you could start by trying to make friends online ! its easy to find someone with similar interests on the internet .. so when you feel down atleast you know that there's someone on the other side of the world who cares for you ..
but this doesn't change the fact that solitude is AMAZING too (tbh i could go on for a really long time on how i love being by myself but this is already getting super lengthy ...) you can be your own friend too ! (okay see now this seems insane but if it makes you happy WHO CARES AMIRITE) i personally enjoy my own company like omg .. she can get a good laugh out of me sometimes ... you can do whatever you want when you're alone ! you can dance to your favourite playlist or experiment with a bunch of stuff ! if you get bored you can watch your favourite movie or consume your favourite piece of media that no one gets like you 🤫 so , as much as making friends sounds great , let's appreciate solitude too !!
ah, life can be beautiful sometimes? ☆
one of the biggest reasons i go on walks almost regularly is to remind myself how beautiful the world can be sometimes .. (atp half of this is me convincing you all to go on walks) i live in a beautiful neighbourhood n there are a lot of different flowers and fruits that grow here and that makes me really happy . going on early morning walks especially is soo fun , the world is so quiet then and you can even watch the sunrise 🥹
another thing is buying myself things i like ... especially clothes ... if you think you would look good in something then js go ahead and buy it ! don't mind what other people think because like ... YOU are wearing it and if people around you have a problem with that then i think they should close their damn eyes and not look at you if it bothers them that much 🤦 you deserve to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin , you deserve to dress the way you want to ! so if you feel like dressing a particular way would make you feel better .. GO FOR IT !!! this applies to other things you like, maybe accessories, merch or stationary that look cute .. it's okay even if people judge you for your style because in the end they're the ones who are boring and miserable because they spend soo much time hating on others 😒
life is soo much more fun when you take care of yourself trust me ... you deserve to be taken care of !! so spoil yourself once in a while i promise it's okay as long as it makes you happy <3
to sum it all up .. yes , good times don't last forever but so don't bad times , and you and i both can get through a bad day because life is still going on (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ bad times too , will pass . so please believe in yourself and hold on !! i love you
again, this is all how*I* like to cheer myself up so pls don't take anything here in a bad way 😖 all of this was made with good intentions and im so sorry if i still ended up hurting anyone in any way ..
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newwavesylviaplath · 1 month
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more dumb music opinions!! this is long and ik most of u don't care but whatever this is my platform i will post how i see fit. also im not proofreading this at all its 1:26 in the morning and im literally falling asleep as im writing this so apologies in advance if this isn't the most well written or coherent post ive ever made
okay yall i fell down a rabbit hole of people on tiktok criticizing chappell roan and now im all worked up so here i am giving my opinions no one asked for;
so something i've been noticing a real influx of is people bringing up her hot to go performance at outside lands (a festival) where she says something along the lines of "vip thinks they're way too cool to do this.. you're not fun!" mfs have been getting online to talk about how chappell was being SO RUDE!!! and NOT EVERYONE KNOWS HER MUSIC WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!!!! but like anyone with common sense who has seen the vid/heard the audio can tell she was being playful?? like come on now. i also saw someone post abt how she was being mean to jimmy fallon?? 😭 first off, while im not sure abt this one in particular late night shows are usually scripted and secondly im starting to believe more and more that these people have just never interacted with a drag queen before. chappell roan is a STAGE PERSONA and the majority of drag queens are characterized by having this larger than life attitude- take for example that one rupaul /jimmy fallon interview (u guys know which one) like idk i feel like it's very obvious that chappell is playing it up for the sake of entertainment, not cuz she genuinely believes she's above everyone else.
the other thing i've seen ppl whining about is how a) she doesn't wanna take a picture with fans, therefore she believes her shit doesn't stink and b) the two tiktoks she posted a day ago where she was voicing her struggles openly without policing her tone. first off, CELEBRITIES DONT OWE U PICTURES. don't get me wrong, taking a picture with a celeb u are a fan of can be a great experience and a fun story- but people are acting as if it is their god given right to get a photo with whoever they want whenever they want. "oh well she brought this on herself it's the price of being famous" are u stupid omfg acting like chappell signed a contract giving up her autonomy in order to get on the billboard charts. she quite literally did not choose this and even if she did that doesn't mean ur automatically entitled to a pic with her as if she's some kind of zoo animal like?? the two vids she posted to tiktok essentially telling ppl to leave her alone was met with backlash because she 'sounded rude' again im going to put this in perspective for everyone. her family is being stalked. she is being harassed both online and in real life. being upset because she comes off a little brash in a video where she is practically begging yall to stop with the harassment should be the least of your concerns. this is a twenty six year old who was virtually unknown six months ago- her meteoric rise to fame was not something she could have been prepped for in anyway possible. i feel like some people just aren't trying to wrap their heads around how insane the reality of this situation really is. the phrase "fifteen minutes of fame" used to be a lot more hyperbolic than it is now. i'm exhausted
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zai-doodles · 3 months
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Yeah!! Please rank the spirit dresses!
LETS GOOOOOOO
ok ok ill try to not ramble too much but this will def be long lol
im not perfect by any means and these r just my opinions so idk don't kill me ig, if u disagree u can say that but be polite
10. OK so in LAST PLACE WE HAVE
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CAPRICORN!
ok put down ur pitch forks and let me talk-
its not a BAD design aesthetically or in concept, I've seen ppl say its kinda leaning into a like, spy vibe or something and I really like the sunglasses and horns!
BUT capricorn never read as a spy to me?? maybe its just me but he always came off as more of a butler parody especially w the tailcoat he gets in this screenshot
i think both capricorn and the stardress suffer from not having a very visually distinct concept so when put together its barely feels like they match at all, its its v clear that putting lucy in a skimpy dress took priority over making a cool design that connected to the story
i dont even love my redesign for this dress anymore bc I feel like I just need to redo Capricorn first to give him a stronger concept then deal w the dress later
OK
9.
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AQUARIUS
this is blasphemy i know but PLEASE HEAR ME OUT
this one is way more personal preferance so if u disagree that's so chill there's just too many things w this dress that bother me
I hate the hair, i really do like grown women w pigtails is already a pet peeve of mine bc its so male gazy to me but combining that with the bikini top and super short skirt just annoys me
and let me say again THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH LIKING THIS but in the larger context of this being the AQUARIUS dress it just doesn't read like her at all!! Sure she has a bikini but she also has v ling hair!
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where capricorn suffers from too little visual concept aquarius has so much of it!! The gold to me reads v fancy and royalty esque which makes sense for her personality, just changing the hair to something more like what aquarius has would do wonders I feel like
plus i hate the green-
my first redesign ever was this dress bc it annoyed me soooo much
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ANYWAY-
8.
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VIRGO
this fit is fine, just boring
but virgos design is also boring and the one interesting thing, her chains, NOT being part of the star dress or alluded to makes me angry
also pigtails so it loses points
NEXT
7.
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ARIES
again its fine but its boring, mainly bc aries' design is also boring so-
idk i wish they went more bo peep with it cuz I feel like that could have been cute
also more fucking pigtails-
6.
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TAURUS
if any fit deserved to have horns its this one TAURUS IS A BULL-
anyway this fits is also fine but damn they could have gone so much harder w the cowgirl thing
i do still stand by my redesign for this stardress bc I think it fits canon without redoing taurus
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she should have a nose ring its just facts-
5.
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GEMINI
love the concept and idea! kinda meh execution
its fine ig but its also like gemini don't look anything like this? which makes this another one were I feel ud have to rework gemini to give them more visual cues u could take
the headdress specfically confuses me since the wiki says its a Kokoshnik but after looking at the wiki for that I found nothing in the history that makes that make sense for this fit?? like concept wise??
its only so high up bc i respect that they did something different and creative with this dress and the way they split the colors on the dress itself is cute, just wish they went more magician or even jester w it
the only pigtails im kinda ok w bc symmetry
(when i say more magician i did it this way:
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4.
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SCORPIO
its cute, i wish the tail was bigger and I see v little reason for the fit to be skin tight when scorpio himself literally has a half skirt thing going on
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i still like this so here, as u can see I liked the idea with the hair and headband combo I just wish they had pushed it further
3.
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SAGITTARIUS
again, cool concept, weird execution?
this one is the only one i feel that THRIVES from not taking any visual cues from the spirit bc honestly his design just sucks I'm sorry ik its supposed to be funny but its just stupid to me idk
however even if i like thaty they did something different AND gave her the bow and arrow, it annoys me still that nothing about the fit reads equestrian or archery? there's SO MANY historical fits they could have used as inspo for this and they just chose not to and that's lazy to me idk
also also i hate that for a while bc of the way the manga was colored it looked like she was fully just wearing underwear bc of the white fabric with nothing on her thighs like that's dumb he's a horse u WANT something there to protect that area when riding
2.
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LEO
its cute, it matched loke design AND personality wise, wish there were more lion elements but overall v cute
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CANCER
i already talked abt my thoughts on this dress here so yeits just good AND the pigtails r ok bc they r meant to mimic cancers silhouette which I really like
summary:
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imakemywings · 11 months
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I am on the feanorians side of the silmaril debate and do see Dior and elwing as thieves. And I hope you dont see this as an attack i just want to explain my reasoning for the way i see it. But to me at least the stealing of the ships is an entirely seperate thing that happened, I know it happened because the silmarils got stolen in the first place. But it has nothing to do with the Dior and elwing part of the silmaril story. And thats why I dont bring up the stealing of the ships when talking about this
And I feel like Dior and elwing are thieves because they have the feanorians most treasured family heirloom and are refusing to give it back to them. And I think calling them thieves isnt exactly right because they didnt steal it from the feanorians and luthien and beren didnt either but it is wrong of them to not give it back. And the feanorians did first write letters asking to be given the silmaril back. The feanorians were wrong in kinslaying to try and get it back, but I do understand how they got to the conclusion to do so. They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever, so they really do have this need of getting it back even without considering the fact that its rightfully theirs to begin with.
As for for Dior and elwings part in this, I have more understanding for Dior than elwing. Dior is a new king and not well known to his people. And the silmaril to him represent a great deed done by his parents and their love for each other and I wouldnt be suprised if the silmaril was starting to become as important to Dior and his people as it was to the feanorians. So him not giving it away makes sense it has personal importance to him and giving it away could mark him as a weak king which is not something he needs. And it is also the fact that we dont know how much he knows about the feanorians oath and what it means he may know nothing at all about it.
Elwing on the other hand is completely different, I do not understand why she does the things she does at all. I will just be discussing the lead up to the kinslaying and not what happens during it, because I have read posts saying that her mental health may have crumbled during it and I do concede they have a point. But that doesnt explain any of the lead up to it. The feanorians ask for the silmaril and she tells them no and its like doesnt she realize that just like last time this can lead to a kinslaying, like does the thought even enter her mind and I dont understand how she could not see it as the likely outcome bu then she doesnt prepare for the eventuality at all. Its so puzzling to me, shes the leader and responible for the safety of everyone there but she doesnt seem to care about it. She doesnt even send her sons to cirdan were they would be safe from the feanorians. For elwing this has all happened before and she does nothing to change what will happen and it doesnt make sense.
So yea im on the feanorians side in this because the silmaril is rightfully theirs and while they did bad bad things to get them back i understand where they are coming from. Something i dont understand with elwing.
Hey anon, I definitely don't see this as an attack; I do appreciate your reasonable tone here.
If you're interested in other more detailed explorations of Elwing and her motivations, definitely check out my Elwing meta tag, because others on on tumblr have done some great work there.
The point I think the other anon was making about the swan ships is that fans can be very quick to condemn Luthien and her descendants as "thieves" of the Silmarils, but say nothing about the Feanorians' theft of the swan ships. No, the events aren't related, but one is a much clearer-cut case of theft than the other, yet it's the one that's swept under the rug to attack those who stand in opposition to the sons of Feanor (SoF). But you're right, it's not relevant to discussing Dior and Elwing in relation to the SoF.
Luthien and Beren, at great personal risk, obtained a Silmaril from Morgoth. I think it's relevant to note that at this point, the SoF appeared to have no problem with Luthien having possession of the Silmaril. In fact, Maedhros takes heart from their success and by it is inspired to begin his efforts which culminate in the Nirnaeth Arnoediad.
First, let's recall Luthien's history with the Feanorians at the point that she and Beren depart Doriath after Beren is restored to life:
Luthien is aware of the Kinslaying at Alqualonde and the theft of the swan ships, actions of shocking violence by Elves against Elves, and the Noldor's part in trying to conceal it from her parents.
Celegorm and Curufin feign friendship with her when she encounters them on her quest to rescue Beren, only to then trap her in Nargothrond. Celegorm plans to wed her against her will, which strongly implies he also means to rape her, in order to force Thingol to open the Girdle to the Feanorians.
Celegorm and Curufin overthrew Finrod's chosen successor, Orodreth, and the Arafinweans had been friends of Doriath. She may or may not be aware that Celegorm used the oath to threaten the residents of Nargothrond, implicitly threatening violence against them.
After Luthien has escaped and rescued Beren from Sauron, she encounters Celegorm and Curufin again. Curufin attempts to kidnap her, and Celegorm then attempts to kill Beren when he leaps to her defense.
Celegorm openly makes threats against Thingol and Doriath.
So at this point, you can perhaps see why Luthien does not feel a lot of need to play nice with the SoF. From her perspective, they're pretty scummy people who are more than willing to commit violent acts against other Elves. At no point does Maedhros reprimand or punish Celegorm or Curufin for their actions, which as the leader of the Feanorians, suggests he doesn't think what they did was wrong. Why should she cooperate with them? They didn't risk their lives to obtain one of their Silmarils. If the Silmarils were as important to them as they claim, why haven't they tried harder? She and Beren, with far fewer resources, managed to do it.
Additionally, the Feanorians do not make any effort to reclaim the Silmaril from Luthien during her life. Possibly because she took down Morgoth (briefly).
"For while Luthien wore the Necklace of the Dwarves no Elf would dare to assail her..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath)
So she dies and the Silmaril goes to Dior, her son.
To Dior, the Feanorians are the unquestioned villains of his parents' story. These are people who openly threatened his grandfather's kingdom, who tried to force his mother into marriage and imprisoned her, who tried to kill his father. Sure, you can argue that they have an ancestral claim on the Silmaril--but cannot Dior also make that argument at this point? And what motivation does he have to cooperate with them? They do nothing to win his friendship, as they have done nothing to win the friendship of Doriath throughout their time in Beleriand. If Maedhros is such a formidable diplomat, why can he not come to terms with Dior?
"They [the Feanorians] came at unawares in the middle of winter, and fought with Dior in the Thousand Caves..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath, emphasis added)
Furthermore, to your point, Dior is a young king--and a mortal among Elves. Doriath is also recovering from the war with Nogrod; they are already in a vulnerable position, and with Melian gone, the Girdle is down, so they are far more exposed than they are accustomed to being and having to adjust to that.
So Dior does not relinquish the Silmaril, and rather than pursue the two held by Morgoth, the Feanorians assault Doriath, kill many Elves, throw at least two children out into the woods to die of exposure, and still fail to capture the Silmaril.
So Dior dies and the Silmaril goes to Elwing, his daughter.
Consider what the Feanorians represent to Elwing at this point.
These are Elves who have shown themselves to be unrepentant killers. We as the fans love to focus on the tormented regret of the Feanorians, but to their victims, they are simply killers. They committed slaughter in the Blessed Realm, for which they were exiled by the Valar, and for which they have expressed such regrets--except that they've gone and done the same thing here in Beleriand. They have threatened forced marriage, they have killed children, they have driven the Iathrim from their home and made them refugees. To Elwing personally, they are the murderers of her parents and the ones who dragged her brothers into the woods as children and left them to die.
What, precisely, might motivate Elwing to cooperate with them? So the Silmaril "belongs" to them--so what? They have tormented Luthien's line for generations now--the Feanorians ARE the Morgoth of Elwing's story. And she should give into them why? The Ring belongs to Sauron--should Frodo hand it over because it's his property?
Maedhros, who has apparently lost all diplomatic veneer, does nothing to show good faith or a desire to cooperate with Elwing. Instead, he writes with his demands, as he did with Dior.
The one thing--the ONE thing--that might make Elwing cooperate is, to me, solely to avoid another slaughter as happened in Doriath, as you mentioned. So in this vein, why doesn't Elwing surrender the Silmaril just to avoid trouble, even if she hates and distrusts the Feanorians? There are two things which are absolutely key to understanding this decision.
1.Elwing does not make the decision alone. Critics of Elwing often act as though she made a unilateral decision to withhold the Silmaril from the Feanorians--which is not the case. In fact, Tolkien writes that "Elwing and the people of Sirion" refused to yield the jewel under threat.
This is not an unusual response. Most people do not respond well to being threatened, and may refuse out of spite. Furthermore, these are people who were made refugees by the same people now making demands of them.
But more importantly, Elwing did not alone choose to keep the Silmaril. She and whatever Sirionites aided her in governing decided together that they would not give in to the Feanorians.
2. The second is that the Sirionites believed the Silmaril was protecting Earendil and the Havens. Remember that at this time, Earendil is seeking for Aman, to obtain the help of the Valar in defeating Morgoth. So not only is he the lord of the Havens at Sirion, but he is on a quest which is, to them, of critical importance. They need him to stay safe so that he can complete his mission and hopefully win Beleriand's rescue.
And to your point about Dior above--this Silmaril is effectively a family heirloom to Elwing as well.
The Sirionites are particularly loath to part with the Silmaril while Earendil is at sea--which makes sense, as he is a ruling lord of this city, and they believe his protection is somewhat dependent on their possession of the Silmaril.
But the Feanorians don't wait for Earendil to return to negotiate--they lay siege to the Havens at Sirion while Earendil is still away ("For the sons of Feanor that yet lived came down suddenly upon the exiles of Gondolin, and the remnant of Doriath" Of the Voyage of Earendil and the War of Wrath, emphasis added) and render the Iathrim virtually extinct as a people. Once again, they come down "suddenly" on another group of Elves and destroy them.
What the Feanorians do in the Havens at Sirion is so awful ("the cruelest of the slayings of Elf by Elf") that their own troops stand aside or even turn against them during the fight in an effort to defend the Sirionites; the Feanorians kill them too.
This, to me, tells us how far the Feanorians are from attempting any real diplomatic work here. They are not even considering the Silmarils that Morgoth still has; they have utterly failed to reach Elwing in a diplomatic or cooperative manner; they refuse to even wait until Earendil has returned so that he and Elwing can make a decision together, as joint rulers of this city.
Why doesn't Elwing fortify the Havens? We have no evidence that she doesn't. Only that it wasn't enough to stop the Feanorians. Why doesn't she send Elrond and Elros away? That poses its own risks--and she may believe they are safest there, as the Sirionites believe the Silmaril is protecting the Havens. It may be incorrect, but it is something they believe and they operate under that belief.
But even if you think she didn't do things she should have--does that justify the actions of the Feanorians? It's fine for them to murder because their victims didn't do enough to prevent them from murdering? You took our object so we can kill you for it now?
Putting all that aside for now, I want to jump over to the oath, because you mentioned something interesting about it:
They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever
Purgatory and hell do not exist in Ea. What exactly the Feanorians think their "punishment" for breaking the oath will be is unclear, whether it's just death without the chance for rebirth (as is the case with Feanor, and seems to be the most extreme punishment the Valar can or will enact), or something more. Clearly they put a lot of stock in it--but they also are not totally beyond the notion of breaking it. Maglor himself suggests after the Third Kinslaying that they should abandon the quest and plead their repentance to the Valar, but Maedhros refuses.
Maedhros seems to still believe they may suffer some punishment for breaking it--that Eru might actually hold them to the oath they swore. But Maglor counters with the notion the oath can be voided:
"Yet Maglor held back, saying: 'If Manwe and Varda themselves deny the fulfillment of an oath to which we named them in witness, is it not made void?'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)
And of course, why would Manwe and Varda hold them to an oath which has caused so much strife, and which promises to cause more? Why should they desire the Feanorians to be held to an oath which causes them to murder and destroy other Elves? Maedhros refuses, still believing, or at least asserting, that some punishment by Eru awaits if they break the oath. Maglor somewhat grimly points out that given what they've done, punishment is their due one way or other other:
"'If none can release us,' said Maglor, 'then indeed the Everlasting Darkness shall be our lot, whether we keep the oath or break it; but less evil shall we do in the breaking.'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)
Maglor acknowledges that they have done evil in pursuit of the oath and that they will continue to do evil if they do not choose to set it aside. Furthermore, that if they cannot be excused from the oath, they're likely to experience punishment either for breaking it or for the things they do in pursuit of it, so it's all the same in the end anyway. Yet Maedhros and Maglor instead make a free and conscious decision to continue their pursuit of the Silmarils.
They are a) well aware that they have done horrible, awful things trying to fulfill this oath; and b) aware that breaking it is an option. They choose not to. They have chosen not to this entire story.
And truthfully, even if they would be condemned to purgatory or whatever, it doesn't justify what they do. They chose to swear this oath, they have chosen to pursue it, and if they are willing to slaughter whomever they need to to protect themselves from the consequences of their own oaths, that still makes them selfish, wretched people who are willing to sacrifice anyone else to make sure they themselves stay safe.
Even if they were able to obtain the one Silmaril from Elwing, the oath is not fulfilled. Morgoth still has two. Everything they did to Doriath and the Havens at Sirion is worthless without the other two Silmarils, but they did it anyway; and even after the chaos wrought by their actions there, go ahead and slay Eonwe's guard after the War of Wrath to steal the Silmarils everyone else had rescued from Morgoth.
The Feanorians have done so much wrong that the Silmarils themselves reject them by the end. I don't know how else the narrative could make it clearer they are in the wrong. Tolkien implies that the oath was wicked from the very start, and always bound to lead the Feanorians into wrongful acts.
Lastly, I will point over at this meta I wrote a few months back about how if the Feanorians had obtained the Silmaril from Elwing, it would likely have doomed Middle-earth to Morgoth's rule.
In any case, I don't think anyone who escalates a situation to murder is ever in the right, and certainly not over something like property rights. If you can sympathize with the Feanorians about their perspective, you should be able to consider what the Feanorians are to the perspective of Luthien's line--and why they are not keen to work together with the Feanorians or give them what they want.
Not sure if you found any of this convincing, but I hope it's something to consider at least!
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11queensupreme11 · 2 months
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QUEEN ITS LIKE 2AM HERE, AND I CANT SLEEP CUZ YOUR NEWEST CHAPTER IS STRESSING ME TF OUT STOPP 😭
When i read the TWs, my eyes literally bulged out hahwhwjwk
As a hard core posy fan, i was fed the finest of feasts this chapter <3 lol i already know pillow-humper, skin-licker, daughter-lover, vouyerism-fetishizing, daddyseidon is a bit freaky but aint no way his first major fatherly disciplinary action is TO SPANK HER, and mf was smirking too 😭
this is even more wild to think abt considering that blud has never had a child to discipline before, so im pretty sure this scenario was floating in his crusty ass mind for a while and now hes finally had the chance to act on it
Another thing, i thought the whole ichor tasting scene was the cause for the cannabilism TW and i was like oh ok 🙂 and then my jaw dropped 😭😭 BEELIE 😭😭
I was a beelcy stan from the very beginning. Still am. But his recent actions — him just not saying that he fcked up and shouldnt have made that deal w loki, his newfound jealousy and rage against anthonious (leave him alone, he sounded hella cute in that pov and in his other interactions w our loser stop😔), and lastly WHAT HE DID TO MIMIR theres no going back 😭 i feel like all the love ur giving to beel this act 1 is like our hook but then youre gonna make him such an unhinged and even hateable yan (tbh u've been hinting at that a loooong time ago but my delulu ahh kept coping, correct me if im wrong, yes im still coping). Like i have this feeling that by the end, beels gonna be one of the people percy would start to hate a lot, maybe even the most cuz, while i havent read or watched pjo, i know that his character has a lot to do w loyalty as a trait. This then gives way for other yans to swoop in and get close to her, i see you author 😡.
Sooner or later, all of beels advantages will be stripped away from him: (1) him not being related since now theres anubis and loki, (2) his knowledge of her identity/being someone she can talk to without having to be careful with her words, since loki already knows and eventually everyone else will know, (3) her friendship w him/the trust that he'll have her back because my god he keeps fucking up and all his problems will blow up sooner or later cuz he keeps bottling it up, (4) the possibility of maybe having a normal relationship w her since mimir squashed that down. There could be more but im too braindead to think rn
You're honor, i cant defend him no more 😭
As a beelcy fan, im rolling on the floor, puking tears. But as someone who has been craving apollo and hades, and is currently warming up to loki, im so 💙💙💙
Im supposed to be asleep so i can continue drawing later, but then you dropped this nuke on me and i dont know what to do w my thoughts 😞
"pillow-humper, skin-licker, daughter-lover, vouyerism-fetishizing, daddyseidon is a bit freaky but aint no way his first major fatherly disciplinary action is TO SPANK HER, and mf was smirking too 😭"
pls i'm crying at the names 😭😭 poseidon's no longer the god of the seas or god of gods, he's just.... pillow-humer, skin-licker, daughter-lover, and vouyerism-fetishizer LMAO I CONSIDER THAT AS AN UPGRADE 😂😂😂😂😂
and yes daddyseidon has been WAITING for the moment to finally 'discipline' her 💀💀 he just didn't think she'd try to risk her life for it, but whelp, she's okay now so he can spank her for it later 😂😂😂
and as for beelie.... 😔
oh beelzebub, whatever are we gonna do with you 🥲
for your sake, everyone should keep their expectations for beelzebub low. i mean technically, you should do that for all the yans, but beelzebub ESPECIALLY 😂😂
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