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#and every other day it feels fine
scvrletvision · 1 year
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she elhers on my danlos until i syndrome
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marblerose-rue · 1 year
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whaddaya think makes tracks like that? / needletail and violetpaw
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starflungwaddledee · 5 months
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it's the day before my birthday, and my girlfriend surprised me with an outing to a local bird aviary/botanic gardens in the mountains!!!
this was an absolute delight for me, known bird enjoyer, and i got to have many cute and phenomenal birds perched on my head (which i loved and plushie magolor 'tolerated', on account of it being my birthday). i even got to see a nicobar pigeon, which i had never seen in person before!
they also surprised me with an early birthday present to use at the incredible mountain-top picnic spread my gf planned (😭😭) of this extraordinarily cute kirby themed liquid-glitter cup!!
and of course, in true starflung fashion i injured myself twice
once, not three minutes into the outing when my umbrella (which i only require because i'm allergic to both the sun and sunscreen) bit me, and my gf had to run to reception to get me a bandaid. later, when i just totally fkn stacked it on some loose gravel on a slope and i got the umbrella back by slamming it into the ground, along with my knees and one palm. but not the other palm, which was holding plushie magolor, who touched neither gravel nor dirt and never will while i still breathe!
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northern-passage · 1 year
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one thing i find really difficult about navigating the IF space is the direct line of contact between readers and authors. we share the same space, and i think that plays a big part in this weird blurred line we have in this community and overall lack of boundaries.
for a lot of people this is a fun hobby and while i personally try to keep it... semi-professional most of the time, it's easy to get wrapped up in having fun on tumblr (or the forums, or reddit, wherever it is that you mainly post/interact) and have a lot of personal interactions with both readers and authors alike - which is fun! i like it more often than not, but i also think that's why a lot of comments in this space can end up being really entitled, over-familiar, and inappropriate.
it's no secret that most authors get really weird messages on here, and while this is also a problem on social media at large and not just specific to IF tumblr, it is still definitely a big problem in this community.
and to be clear i'm not saying that you can't be friendly with authors or readers (i've become friends with a handful of readers myself) and i definitely don't mean to imply that there needs to be a huge divide between us; that's silly - again, most authors are readers, most readers are authors, we’re just people on the internet sharing the same space. but all of us deserve to have our boundaries respected. this is my story, and we are strangers. as a general rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it out loud to someone you just met, you probably shouldn't be saying it to a stranger online. especially anonymously.
#i also think this is why some criticisms get so messy in this space as well#authors should not always be in the same space as the readers/reviewers#and readers shouldnt be able to directly @ authors with their extremely negative reviews esp when it's subjective#(‘’i hate this’’ as opposed to pointing out genuinely harmful content or other criticism)#for everyone's sake#& on a kinda related note: speaking as someone who has been receiving targeted harassment for *checks watch* over two years now#some people really need to reevaluate the way they interact with certain media#i think IF feels very personal due to the interactivity and the customization of the mc#but not everything is written for you. and it's fine to just not like something#without sending weird harassing anonymous messages for 2 years straight to a stranger on the internet. lol#honestly criticism is another can of worms and that's not really what i'm talking about here#but i do think that's also part of the entitlement and overfamiliarity as well#so imo it's connected a little bit. something to think about#at the end of the day my advice to other authors about this is to know your limits and know when you need to extract yourself#and know that you don't have to respond to every ask#especially if it makes you uncomfortable#and im definitely not trying to sound like the authority here this is something i've struggled with as well#like i said it is hard to navigate#and authors can be guilty of this too. wanting to defend yourself or insert yourself into conversations where you shouldn't#i've done that myself#and i've also had other authors i dont know be way overly familiar with me in the past#all of this is just an unfortunate part of online community i think. but im trying to be more mindful about it#anyways. this post brought to you by the weird messages in my and my friends' inboxes lately#i just think you should not be telling authors about pesonal bodily functions in anonymous asks#as an example. lol#personal
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irritablepoe · 21 days
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I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME. I want someone to casually sit beside me and nudge me every now and then to get my attention. I want someone to pull me into a side-hug because they've been laughing about a joke of someone and want to share that joy with me. I want someone to carefully take my hand into theirs and look at my fingers or perhaps the lines on my hand just because they can. I want someone to look at me absentmindedly while they're thinking of something. I want someone to sit quietly beside me when I'm feeling down and just take my hand and squeeze it to tell me I'm not alone anymore.
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acebabecd · 5 months
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I'm still not entirely sure how to interpret "Sometimes I think that's okay and sometimes I think it's not." The obvious popular interpretation is, "The amount I miss him might not be okay," and that makes sense, but I also see "okay" as meaning "in a way I can deal with."
Less "I'm worried about how much I miss him," and more, "Some days I can handle him being gone and other times I am Not Doing Well about it"
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buckttommy · 7 months
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married firstprince au set 10ish years in the future where alex is a victim of an assassination attempt while him and henry are apart and the absolutely heartstopping, bone crushing fear when henry gets the call........ bonus points if they were in the middle of a fight at the time............. hold on. i'm throwing up on myself....
#GOD. Everyone shut up okay just shut up#Henry just doing his thing minding his business#fighting the everlooming stress of the fact that it's been six days since he's seen his husband#and the last time he saw him they were hurling biting words and insults at each other#(something they agreed to never do since they got married)#and he's already not sleeping because he can't sleep without Alex#so he's a bit miserable.#But then Shaan comes to him one morning and he KNOWS#The minute he looks at his face he feels his heart fucking drop down to his stomach#and he's just like 'tell me he's not dead. tell me'#and Shaan is like 'he's not but it's bad. We need to go'#So the whole flight Henry's just sat there torturing himself over every horrible word he's ever said to ALEX#of all people. It's stupid. The whole fight was stupid and none of it matters because the love of his life might be fucking#dead by the time he gets to the hospital. Anyways. Alex is in surgery again when he gets there#and he has to wait another EIGHT hours just for a doctor to come out and tell him Alex is fine it was touch and go for a minute there#but he really doesn't hear anything beyond 'Alex is fine.'#Anyways when Henry sees his husband he crawls into bed beside him (careful not to hurt him of course) and just holds him#(and cries softly because he's just had the worst twenty-four hours of his life)#and he's still holding him when Alex wakes up and the first words out of his mouth are 'hey baby' and that's when Henry really loses it#Alex drifts back off to sleep (not without mumbling a sleepy apology and an I love you)#but when he wakes up#they talk and Alex is just like 'I was so fucking scared I would hurt you the way your dad did' and Henry is like#'what do you mean sweetheart?' and Alex is like 'i don't want you to know the pain of losing me i don't want to do that to you'#which nearly sends them BOTH over the edge and it's all very tender and sweet.#Anyways then they make out and fall asleep together in the hospital bed#and it's the best sleep Henry has had in days.#the end#future wips#fandom: rwrb
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kirby-the-gorb · 1 year
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definitelynotnia · 2 months
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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pcktknife · 5 months
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stressed yet again 😏
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famewolf · 24 days
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speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling
#[static]#it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism#some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under#i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever#it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others#and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing#like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks#every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like#one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways#something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out#i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery#poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop#never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on#so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly#and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again#its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much#im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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autogeneity · 2 months
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I'd hate if my psychiatrists were right and a marginally higher dose of stimulant could trigger a manic episode while still not even fixing my symptoms
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sysig · 3 months
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Finally made it through (Patreon)
#Doodles#Here it is! Finally transitioning into 2024 doodles! Heck!!#A small handful to bid the year goodbye#Starting with trying to doodled something and it not going to plan so nevermind lol#Sucks too 'cause it was one of those shower thoughts that I got Really excited about and then every step ended up getting frustrated#Wanted to make a cover of a song and then the song had no instrumental-only version :/#Okay well the concept was meant to be a fem cover of non-human characters - I'll draw up what I think they'd look like! No#Designs were underwhelming and looked weird :// So I gave up lol#Maybe another day! But not this day not when I keep being stopped lol#Only Christmas! Yes I wore the ribbons it's an important tradition and also I like cute in them#Ma got me some fine-tip markers so I had to test them haha - they scan a bit dark so I don't think I'd use them for scanned doodles#That purple is pretty tho I do like it#Was really excited about the gold but nahh oh well I still appreciate them haha#Oh and the tests were on my latest Blank Slate scratch page haha#I've set it down again for the moment but Ch. 4 is probably about 70% done! :)#Had a lot of fun moving pieces around hehe ♪ To no one's surprise Scriabin has painted himself into a corner#Might have a mini project/side project planned around Blank Slate at some point hmmm#Other than the fic itself haha#And finally seeing out the year - it's been over for a while now!#Always feels funny to approach it's end and ring in the new
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starbuck · 3 months
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i genuinely think i’m losing it, if you’re curious
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hershelwidget · 3 months
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We are so back
While I was gone I ended up convincing my people to watch Eternal Diva and long story short here’s a FEW more frames accompanied by some Words that were exchanged
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“janice is so fugly” - Our resident character design expert who spent most of the movie, I’m guessing, staring at Janice and wondering how they (allegedly) messed her up so bad and also calling Layton some very similar terms
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“there goes hawaii” & “I JUST GOT BACK WHY IS EVERYTHING EXPLODING” - first from me making a very hilarious reference. second from The Funny Man™️ who had perhaps the best reactions. bonus take was our friend Dog Lover who was impressed by the quality of the explosions
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“•_•” - The Funny Man, several times, poking fun at how little emotion Layton expressed
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“he should be dead” - character design expert was greatly confused at how unscathed Luke was and I think it was secretly rooting for his demise. neither it nor The Funny Man liked him very much :(
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“ITS HIM???” - The Funny Man was wondering for a while where the hell Descole came from (I used him in one of our RPs) and upon receiving the answer there was a beautiful confusion
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“he can slam me like he did that piano” - The Funny Man has a thought process not even I can decipher
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“i’m sorry but melina’s forehead is so big it’s distracting” - me, who can never take her seriously, followed immediately by agreement from my peers
And lastly.
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“whistler is so…” - me again, implying something that I regretted immediately when The Funny Man nodded solemnly in agreement and we spent the rest of the movie Staring at Him
After the movie I showed these people the cutscenes from the games in the prequel trilogy and everyone was SO NORMAL about Last Specter
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