#and finally them both going on a shared adventure road that they were always meant to have❤️😭

[justacynicalromantic]

“What are you doing?” he begged again. She looked over at him, between messy strands of golden hair. A hard smile played at her mouth, the kind he’d only ever seen her give to him a very long time ago. When she had trusted him. “Sometimes to find the light,” she said, her words filled with the echo of bitter laughter, “we must first touch the darkness.” He threw his head back. “You reckless, senseless elf. There is no light where I am going. The only thing you’ll find in the Void is pain, and emptiness like you’ve never known.”

==/==/==

"The Lord of the Rings, who had been so many things and had so many names he barely knew what he was anymore, gripped her hand tighter. Whatever he was, he was hers to command, if she would finally accept it.

==/==/==

“I told you. Ours was no chance meeting. Not fate, nor destiny. Ours was the work of something greater. I just did not know what, or why, at the time.” He huffed a laugh. “Leave it to you, Galadriel, to convince yourself that you were always right in the end.” “That’s only because it turned out to be true.” He chuckled and nodded. “I suppose we shall see.” He shut his eyes. The darkness had almost consumed them now. “Do you think it will hurt? To be ensnared in darkness.” She took a deep breath. “No. It is only loneliness. You and I have been lonely many times. And this will not be one of them. It will be like… sinking in the sea.” “I never meant to let you sink. You are light, Galadriel,” he said softly, honestly. “You don’t belong relegated to the Void, forgotten in the depths.” “Then make sure I am not,” was the last thing she said, before the darkness took her mouth, and she was rendered silent for the next eternity. “I will,” he whispered. And the Void took him, as well.

This fanfiction is everything❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭

[fandoms-writings]

Little Shadow

Pairing: Halsin x Half-Elf!Reader (fem intended)

Word Count: 6.9K (oops)

Summary: You can always count on Halsin to heal the group when needed, going out of his way to make sure you're in the best care. And he's always been a flirt, but that's all it is, right?

Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY, mentions of injuries, blood, bruises (they're adventurers they're gonna get hurt sometimes), p in v, fingering, oral (fem receiving), mentions of Halsin having the potential to shift during sexual acts (iykyk)

A/N: thank you so so much to @banana-cheese-cake for beta reading for me and letting me talk about this so much ❤️ Also Happy Easter to those who celebrate ❤️

Halsin had always been impressed with the way you fought, the way you trained. You were so meticulous in the tiny details, the things no one else in your little band of misfits would notice. But it was those details that kept you alive, kept you the least harmed of your entire camp. Most of the time. 

The way you danced with your blade was unlike anything he'd ever seen before - and he'd been around for a couple centuries, so he'd seen his fair share of sword wielders and dagger throwers and magic casters. But you - you moved with such fluidity and lethal steadiness in your swings. 

The strength he'd seen in you while traveling with you these past weeks was something he marveled at. Especially with how young you were. 

You'd never told him directly, but from what he could gather, you were a half elf, which meant you had at least another century before you started to appear "aged" as the humans called it. That also meant that you had unbounded potential to grow in your skills. Though, he wasn't sure how much more you could learn. 

There was a rustle in the woods next to the camp, pulling him from his thoughts of you as he looked up. You'd gone out this morning with Karlach, Astarion, and Shadowheart to scout and clear the roads to move your camp closer to the city, so he figured you were finally returning. But you were making so much noise. You were usually quiet on your return to not startle those who stayed behind or attract any unwanted attention. 

As you barreled through the brush, Shadowheart limply hanging between you and Astarion and Karlach protecting your backs, Halsin's heart plummeted. 

You were covered in blood and your knees were shaking as the two of you dragged Shadowheart through the camp. Halsin ran for you, coming to a stop in front of you and taking the girl from your and Astarion's arms. 

He took Shadowheart to her tent, laying her down and beginning to heal what wounds he could see. You'd followed him, though he could sense the exhaustion pulling your body down as your feet stumbled after him. He watched as you began removing her armor, tugging the pieces off of her with shaky hands. 

He'd never seen your hands shake. He'd never seen you so calmly distraught. 

"What happened?" He asked, moving to a wound in the girl's abdomen. A gnarly gouge, likely from a hook horror or a gnoll. Shadowheart's body shifted as you tugged her boots off, throwing them in the pile of armor in the corner. 

"Gnolls," Your response was clipped, as usual, eyes locked onto the several cuts and gashes along your friend's skin. "I tried to protect her, but there were too many." He tried to show his surprise at the continued explanation. You usually stuck to one or two word answers around him, no matter how hard he tried to get more. "We almost didn't make it out with her." 

He hummed in response, watching as the wound stitched itself back together, the discoloration beginning to leave her skin. Once all of Shadowheart's armor was removed, you stood, mumbling about how you'd return quickly and you left. 

You were back only seconds later with a rag and a bucket, and you began cleaning the blood from your companions skin in the areas he's already healed. 

The two of you worked in silence until you were sure he'd healed every little scratch on Shadowheart before you both walked out of her tent, allowing her to rest until she woke on her own. You sighed and rolled your neck, your shoulders drooping as if you had weights tied to your arms pulling them down. 

"Are you injured?" Halsin asked, stepping toward you, but keeping his hands to himself. Through all the blood on you, he couldn't tell if any of it was yours, and if it was, where it came from. 

"I'll be fine, go help Astarion and Karlach," You demanded, your eyes looking past him at the setting sun. 

He moved to argue that you also needed attending to when you held up your hand, pushing it into his chest and giving him a weak shove. 

"Halsin," You whispered his name and his mind froze as you looked up at him, "Please." 

He let loose a breath before dipping his chin in a nod. The corner of your lips twitched up before falling back into a hard line. 

"Thank you." He watched as you turned from him, heading for your own tent as you began undoing the buckles of your leather armor, preparing to remove it. 

He'd do as you asked - he would go check on the others, make sure they were alright. Then, he'd check on you. He'd even have Astarion hold you down so he could heal you if he needed to. 

~~~

You huffed as you dropped your bloodied leather armor on the bank of the river near camp, kneeling down with a grunt as you began rinsing the blood from your clothing. The water of the river began to darken, reddening as you held your shirt in the stream, attempting to push out the blood before it dried. You were still covered in it, but armor was never cheap, and you weren't one to parade around in bloodied clothes any longer than necessary. 

Once you were satisfied with how clean you were able to get your clothes, you hung them on a tree branch hanging over the embankment to dry before removing your undergarments. The blood had soaked through to those as well. When they were hung next to your armor, you stepped into the river, hissing as the cold water bit at your ankles. 

It was a rather deep river, the water coming up to the bottom of your ribs once you reached the middle. You tried to scrub as you went, watching as it flaked off your skin and disappeared into the stream, revealing injuries you hadn't dared to acknowledge until now. 

There were gashes on your legs and arms, bruises littering your body, more coming to light as you scrubbed the blood and mud away. 

"Will you allow me to heal you now?" Halsin's voice sounded from behind you and you fought against the embarrassment of him catching you naked in the river as you folded your arms over your breasts. 

"I'm fine," you looked over your shoulder at him, the worry evident in his eyes as he stopped right at the water's edge. 

"You're bleeding."  

"I said I'm fine." You growled out, watching as his lips pressed into a hard line and he squatted down, picking up a twig to fiddle with as he looked at you.

"Why won't you let me help?" 

"Because I didn't ask you for it." You scowled, turning away from him and lowering yourself into the stream, holding in the hiss as the water rushed by, cleaning the cuts and scrapes along your arms. Before he could respond, you dunked your head, letting the cold water run through your hair, the current pulling as much of the blood and dirt out as it could without you scrubbing it. 

When you emerged, wiping the water from your face, Halsin had moved. 

He was maybe two feet from you, standing in the river still clothed, the water up to his hips and his trousers soaking it up, clinging to his muscled thighs. That worried look still plagued his face as he looked down at you, his brows pinched together and a heavy frown on his lips. 

"Why can I not offer my help to you?" He asked, his voice a low rumble. You fought the rush of nerves that flooded your system, using the day's anger to push them back down into the pit in your chest they'd crawled out from. 

"Because I am not in need of it." You sneered. You just wanted to be left alone, left to wallow in your self hatred and frustrations. Left to tend to yourself. To suffer. "I can take care of myself," You held his gaze with a glare, "Always have." 

"But you do not need to," He muttered, taking a small step toward you, "You are allowed to lean on your friends for assistance." 

You scoffed, looking away from him. "It was that type of thinking that cost us today." 

"I believe it is what saved you today." 

"You weren't there." The sound of Shadowheart's scream as the gnolls ripped her open would not be a sound you ever forgot. Or forgave yourself for. "They relied on me, leaned on me, to lead the way, to find a way to win and I fucked up." The anger bubbled in your chest, simmering as your eyes grew blurry, "I got cocky and moved too far too fast. A small group of beasts circled around to Shadowheart. I failed them." 

You were waiting for him to agree, to shout at you, to yell. But there was only silence. Hell, you weren't even sure he was still standing there as you continued, "I failed them, and I almost failed in getting them out. They relied on me and I let them down." Your hands came up to your shoulders, grazing over the injuries that had clotted there. 

"Is that why you refuse to let me heal you?" Halsin asked, the sounds of splashing water telling you he was moving. He appeared in front of you, kneeling down and letting the river wash over him without so much a shiver.  "Because you think you deserve it? As some sort of punishment?" 

You held his stare, your vision blurring as your anger bubbled in your throat. 

"Yes, you made a mistake, everyone does," He closed the distance between the two of you, but still not touching you, "but you still all made it out. You relied on each other to escape alive. You got them out." Your brows pinched as he spoke, "I talked with Karlach and Astarion, they told me how you fought tooth and nail to get to them, to help them.They credit their survival to you." 

"They're fools to do so," You whispered and he shook his head. 

"They are not," He stated, "You saved them today. You took care of them," He reached a hand out for you, waiting for you to take it, "Now let yourself be cared for. Let's not add to your collection of scars." 

You took a deep breath, trying to will the tears in your eyes to vanish before they fell. The words wobbled as they left your lips, "You're not going to leave me alone until you heal me, are you?" 

"If you truly wish for me to leave you alone, I'll go," His hand was still held between you, open and waiting. "But I don't believe you deserve more scars marring your perfect skin, or any sort of punishment." 

You took a deep breath, blaming the shuddering in your breath on the chill of the water as you lifted your hand out of the water and rested it in his own, palm up so he could see the cut there. "Okay." 

"Your skin is like ice," His warm calloused hand wrapped around yours as it glowed, your skin stitching back together, "Should we move to a tent?" 

Before you could deny him, your body shook with a harsh shiver running through your spine and you sighed. "Yes, please." 

He looked back to your clothes hanging over the tree, still dripping pink water. "I'll go get you a towel and some dry clothes." 

~~~

You sat in Halsin's tent, your damp hair clinging to your skin, his extra shirt drowning you. He hadn't wanted to go through your things, so he'd grabbed you some of his clothes and you didn't argue as you'd  slipped them over your head at the river bank. Your legs were bare, his shirt practically a dress on you, and it took all of his will power not to stare when you shifted where you sat across from him, the fabric of the shirt riding up your thighs. Your thighs that were burnt and bruised and sliced. 

He’d decided when finding you in that river, injuries on display, the blood leaking from your skin washed away by the freezing water, that he was going to leave tonight and let the bear inside him hunt down that pack of gnolls. 

He cleared his throat before gesturing to - well to all of you. “Where would you like me to start?” 

Your eyes, heavy with exhaustion, lifted to his. Your skin had grown paler by the hour and your body had become sluggish. He’d have picked a starting point himself but he knew not to rush or push you. 

You gestured to your arms as you held them out before him, palms up showing him the clotted slashes on your forearms. 

Halsin took your arms in each of his hands, the area glowing as he healed you. The next hour went on like that, you silently giving him parts of you to heal and him healing them without hesitation. By the time he’d finished, your normal tone had mostly returned to your face, but you were mostly asleep. 

Healing was not only tiring for the healer, but exhausting for the injured. He’d noticed your grit teeth, your subtle controlled breathing as your skin closed and knitted back together. He couldn’t blame you for slipping into a deep slumber as he finished the last wound on your shoulder, gently removing his hands so as to not wake you. 

Seeing you so relaxed, so calm, it was new to him. You’d always had a stoney expression, your lips set in a thin line and your brows settled almost permanently in a subtle scowl. But the lack of anger and sorrow in your feature now - well he wasn’t sure which version he was in love with more. 

Halsin pulled a blanket over you, stepping out of the tent to let you sleep. The rest of the camp had mostly retired for the night as well, only Astarion reading in his tent with the flap open. 

The vampire looked up at him with those red eyes, nodding in acknowledgment before returning his attention to whatever text was in his hands. 

The Druid slipped into the woods, walking for a while before he deemed he was far enough away. Far enough to not wake the camp, before he shifted, letting the bear begin its hunt. 

~~~

Leaves rustling nearby woke you, your eyes opening to see the unfamiliar inside of a tent. Your brows pinched as you sat up, a groan escaping your chest at the effort. Your body was exhausted, and as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, you started to remember what had happened. How you got to be in this tent, in the shirt that hung from your frame. 

You remembered who put you there. 

Glancing around the tent for Halsin, you found you were alone. You didn't want to be the reason he didn't get to sleep tonight so you stood quickly, climbing for the entrance flap, reaching to push it open, when it slipped from your fingers. 

You peered up into the shadow looming over the entrance, and your body prepared for a fight. Their features were in heavy shadow as the campfire lit them from behind and there was a familiar iron rich smell coming from them. Blood. You just hoped whoever this was hadn't gotten to anyone else in your camp yet, that they were still alive. 

Your muscles tensed and you took a breath to shout, to wake up your companions if they were alive and warn them. But the figure held up a hand, his voice a low rumble that calmed your nerves instantly. 

"It's just me," Halsin said, slowly lowering himself into the tent, "I did not mean to startle you." 

You backed up, allowing him into the tent as your eyes traveled down his shirt, the red splotches hiding in the shadows. When you looked back up, you saw he had already figured out what you were looking at, and he could read the question on your lips.  

"It's not mine," He whispered, "I'm alright." 

"Whose is it?" You demanded, watching as he rummaged around for clean clothes. He pulled out a new pair of loose trousers. 

"The gnolls." He grunted, standing to leave. Your hand shot out to his, gripping his large fingers before he could leave. 

"You went after them?" 

He looked down at you, a slight smirk on his lips before his fingers squeezed yours back and he said, "Of course I did," as if it was the only logical thing for him to have done in the first place. His hand slipped from yours and just like that, he had slipped back out of the tent. 

You tried to follow him, but when you ripped the flap open, he was gone. You would have settled back into the warmth of the tent, shut that flap against the chill that pricked at your skin. But you stood, exiting the tent, and followed him down to the river. 

If he was going to wash up, that's where he'd go, unless he really wanted to hike another 3 miles to the next lake, which judging by the exhaustion in his eyes when he'd come for clean pants, you assumed he wouldn't. You hadn't bothered with shoes, and you cursed yourself for it as you tried to step around jutting up sticks and rocks that could slice your feet. 

Soon enough, the moonlight reflecting off of the river's surface was visible through the trees and you could hear the splashing of the water. Pushing the branches of the trees away, you finally broke free of the forest line and had river rocks beneath your feet. 

Halsin was in the middle of the river, scrubbing blood from his hair, just as you had done only hours before. 

"You'll catch a cold out here like that," He called to you, turning around to face you. 

"Why did you go after the gnolls?" You asked, crossing your arms across your chest, the movement reminding you how bare your legs were when the shirt shifted across your thighs. You tried not to bring attention to it, ignoring the chills that ran up your skin.

He looked down at the water as he rinsed his hands, "Does it matter?" 

"That depends entirely on how you answer the question." 

He glanced at you for a moment before dunking his head under the water, only to come right back up to the surface only a moment later. He sighed as he walked to the embankment, his dry pants hanging up on that same tree your earlier clothes still hung from. 

"Then it does not matter," He said, climbing out of the river, the water sliding down his chest, to his stomach, to his - you averted your eyes. You should've assumed he was naked, and you weren't sure why it made your heart start racing the way it did as you suddenly found the boulder next to you very interesting. 

"It does to me," You muttered, not expecting him to have heard you, to have been trying to hear you over the sounds of the river. 

Once his trousers were on, he turned to you, walking to stand at your side. "Would it be hard for you to believe that I did it because I wanted to?" 

You turned from the boulder, glancing at his feet to make sure he was clothed before your eyes trailed up his body, landing on his face. "You wanted to go on a midnight gnoll hunting spree?" 

He grunted in agreement, his head inclining to the side. "Is that hard to believe?" 

You scoffed, "Yes, actually. Especially because you went alone." 

"I can handle a pack of gnolls." He said the words with such certainty, his voice low and rough, it had your stuttering to respond. 

"It was reckless," You meekly muttered back, "You could've been hurt." 

"But I am not." Neither one of you had moved since he came to stand beside you, both of you remaining a mere few inches from the other.

"But you could have been." 

"Is that worry I sense in you, little shadow?" The nickname wasn't new, it was something he used to recall how you seemed to slip between darkness going undetected when tracking down leads or targets, but it also wasn't commonly used. He liked to use it when teasing you, flirting with you. But you were in no mood to flirt, and the only way to get him to see that, was to be honest. 

"Yes, it is." You stated, and the slight smirk that had grown on his lips fell as his eyes widened. "Why did you think it was a good idea to go hunt down those beasts without the rest of us, in the middle of the night? Hm?" 

He blinked once, twice, before sighing and looking at the ground beneath his feet, his hands finding their way to his hips. "I went because they harmed you," he said, and your world stilled. 

"What?" You asked, willing him to look at you again. He wiped a hand down his face before looking at you, his eyes full of nerves that he kept well hidden. 

"They hurt you," he sighed, reaching for your hands, "They almost killed you, and it angered me. It angered the beast that lives in my soul. I had to do something, and taking out on them the anger they caused was the only thing to do." 

Something in your chest melted at the conviction in his words, the utter dedication. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, to tell him he didn't need to do that, to fight for you. But in your experience, people only did these sorts of things when they wanted something in return. 

Your fingers tightened around his own, squeezing them as you took a breath, pushing down the swell in your heart at the look in his eyes. 

"What do I owe you?" You asked, trying not to cringe at the confusion in his pinched brows. 

"Why would you owe me?" 

"Because that's how the world works," you muttered, "Everything has a currency, whether it's gold, silver or favors. So what do I owe you? "

"You owe me nothing," his voice rumbled through your bones to your core, "I did not do this to gain a favor from you. I did this," He stepped closer, his breath mingling with yours, "because the thought of those beasts getting away with harming you is not something I can peacefully live with." 

"Why?" You read the confusion on his face and asked again, "Why? Why am I so important?" 

His hands dropped yours as they cupped your jaw, those large thumbs stroking across your cheeks and his fingers settled on your neck. 

"Because you are magnificent," His eyes were darting around your face, taking in every little detail while you allowed him to be this close, "You are the leader of this camp, everyone here follows you more than they follow themselves. You are the heart of this adventure we are on. You are fancied by everyone here." 

"I doubt that." 

"Well," He said, "I know I do." 

"No you don't." You whispered and his face pinched. "You don't, you might think you do, but you don't."

"Why don't I?" He asked, refusing to step away from you, your face still in his hands. 

You refused to look at him, your eyes locked on the water of the river just behind him. "You can't," You whispered, "Anyone who ever has ends up dead, if they don't leave me first." 

His face crumbled at that, hearing the ache of the past years of your life in your words. 

"Why would they leave you?" He asked, his voice barely audible over the river. 

You told him. You rambled about the horrible childhood you had, the early death of your human father, and the resentment in your elven mother when you were left on her doorstep. How you raised yourself, hunted for yourself, since she refused to have any hand in the way you were raised, including feeding you. You told him how you ran away when you were just a teenager and had been on your own ever since, for nearly two decades. 

Continuing your endless babble, you told him about the times you'd been captured by strange monsters throughout your travels, trying to leave out the details of what happened when you were held captive, but you knew he could piece it together. You explained how these things happening had made you cold, and shut off from the world, damaged, when you were silenced by something soft pressing against your lips. 

Your eyes were wide when Halsin pulled away just a second later, his lips parted as he looked at you. There were a million things either of you could've said, but your mind was blank now. The lingering pressure of his lips on yours distracting you from the wetness you now felt on your face. 

When did you start crying? 

You tore your gaze from his lips up to his eyes, where they watched you with such gentleness it frightened you. The want - no, the need - to have his lips on yours again was the only thing you could focus on now that you'd had a taste, and you would jump up to take it for yourself if the intensity in his gaze didn't root you to your spot. 

"I know what I enjoy," He whispered, leaning down so his lips brushed against yours as he spoke, his breath fanning your face as his wet hair fell around you, "and I know what I want." 

He didn't close the distance, instead letting your lips faintly brush while you tried to say something, anything. 

"And if you'll let me," He continued, "I'd like to enjoy what I want for as long as you'll allow." 

"Why don't you just take it?" You whispered. 

"I'm waiting for your permission." 

Silence settled over the two of you for a moment, the only noise between you being your mingling breaths. You took the moment to consider it, letting him have his way with you. You hadn't planned on fucking any of your traveling companions, attempting to keep it professional between all of you, but you couldn't deny that you'd at least thought about it. Not just with Halsin either, but that was something for another day. 

You'd thought about his hands on your skin, how large and safe they'd feel, how his fingers would feel in your cunt, in your mouth, wrapped around your neck. All you had to do was say yes, and he'd give it to you. 

So you swallowed your nerves, your voice barely audible as you whispered, "You have it."  

Halsin instantly closed that tiny fraction of distance, pressing his lips against yours. One of his hands left your face, going down preferring to pull your hip, tugging you into him as his lips parted, his tongue brushing against yours. You swallowed his groan as his large hand pushed the edge of your shirt up so he could cup your ass, grabbing all he could and squeezing. 

His right hand left your face, reaching down to mirror his left and he tugged up, grunting what sounded like "jump" between kisses. Your hands wound around his neck as you did your best to hop, letting him catch you and pull you up his body, pinning you between his chest and the smooth boulder at your back. 

The hair on his stomach brushed against the insides of your thighs, tickling in the best way, the pressure from his stomach pushing into your cunt, only separated by the thin fabric of your panties that were already wet.  

Halsin's lips left your mouth and he trailed open kisses down your neck and what he could reach of your chest, biting and sucking as he went, lighting your nerves on fire at the same time. HIs hands easily pushed you further up the boulder, bringing your dripping core up to his view and putting your legs over his shoulders.

His eyes were hungry as he glanced between you and that soaked spot in your panties. His lips attached to your leg, working their way up your inner thigh, each bite he climbed higher earning more and more desperate whines from you. He chuckled at the noises escaping your throat as he looked up at you, his eyes glazed over with lust, but also so so clear at the same time. 

"Is this okay?" You'd never heard his voice so rough, so raw as he looked up at you. "We can always go somewhere more comfortable." 

Something in your chest melted at the concern in his words. Even when his hands were shaking and his pupils were blown, your comfort was priority. But you didn't care if he took you in his tent or a bed or against this damn boulder, you just needed to feel him. 

"It matters not to me," you were breathless as you told him, "I just want you to show me how much you say you want me." 

He smirked at that, one of his hands dragged over your skin as he slid it under your shirt, reaching to grab your breast as his other pulled your panties aside. 

He laid his tongue flat against your aching cunt and licked a languid stripe up, flicking it across your clit before going back for more. Your hands shot to his hair, still wet from the river, carding through it and gripping it at the roots. His hand on your breast pulled and played with your nipple, the sensation caused by his rough fingers shooting through you to your core, soaking his face even more. 

You watched him from up on that rock, his face buried in you, his eyes closed as if he were savoring it. A moan vibrated from him, through your cunt that left you gnawing on your lip to keep quiet. You weren't close to the campsite, but who knew what or who else was out in these woods. 

Your breath started to quicken, your grip on his hair tightening further, and his eyes opened to look at you. You could barely see the hazel in his eyes as he watched you panting and writhing above him. The pressure building was familiar and you knew it wouldn't take long for you to snap if he kept going the way he was

It seemed he knew too. 

Because suddenly, his mouth was off of you and your skin was met with the chilled air. 

"Can't have you cumming just yet," He declared, his hand leaving your chest and trailing down to your cunt, lightly dragging through the folds and slick. Your hips bucked into his hand and he chuckled, "Eager?" 

Your skin heated at his comment and how focused on your dripping entrance he was. When your breathing had somewhat evened out, two of his fingers circled your cunt, spreading your slick around and around before he finally looked up at you, and slid them in. 

Your mouth opened in a strangled moan that you had fought to not let out, the stretch just from his fingers alone enough to make you dizzy with want. They slid all the way in before they curled, stroking that perfect spot to make your back arch and your moan grew louder. 

Halsin grinned, "Oh I love that sound you make." He angled his head down again, watching his fingers get swallowed by your cunt over and over again as he pumped them in and out. "And I love watching my fingers disappear inside you." 

His head dipped lower, and his lips wrapped around your clit, his tongue tracing tight circles over it in time with his fingers. That pressure from earlier began building again, quicker this time as you struggled to stay somewhat quiet. You tugged on his hair and your hips rocked, grinding into his mouth and fingers, his name a whisper on your lips. 

"Don't stop," You panted, release so close your muscles began tightening, "please don't stop." 

He groaned into you, the vibrations shooting through everyone of your nerves and your head fell back with a soft thud against the rock. The band that had tightened in your core was so close to snapping, to sending you over the edge.

But before you could go over that edge, Halsin released your clit and pulled his fingers from you, chuckling at the truly pathetic whine that left your lips, tears starting to gather in your lashes at the sudden loss. 

"Don't worry," he muttered the words into the skin of your thigh before moving both your legs off his shoulders, wrapping them around his waist, "You'll get to cum," He leaned forward, catching your lips with his, and you moaned at the taste of yourself, "I promise." 

He wrapped his hands around your thighs, telling you to wrap your arms around his neck and he picked you up from the boulder. He didn't take you far, just turned and leaned down, laying you on the river bank before sitting up, his hands going to the ties on his trousers. 

"I've dreamed of this since I met you," he declared as he untied his trousers. Your eyes traveled down his chest to the large bulge he was working to free, and your cunt clenched around nothing in anticipation. "I've been wanting to take you for weeks." 

A shiver of excitement raced down your spine, "So have I." 

His eyes darkened at that, his hands quickening their pace and he finally removed his pants. He reached for your hips, pulling your panties down your legs and tossing them to the side. He grabbed the edge of your shirt, but stopped, looking at you. 

"It's a bit cold out, do you want to leave this on?" Your heart melted at his concern, at his ability to still worry even when he was so close to getting what he wanted. 

"I want to feel all of you against me," you said, a thought taking over your mind, "but I also want to be on top. I want to ride you." 

He grinned down at you as you shifted to sit up, "You can do whatever you wish to me." 

You smiled, crawling over his legs as he sat and lay on the ground, sighing when your legs settled on either side of his hips, your core hovering over his aching cock. He slid his hands under your shirt, pushing it up and over your head, tossing it to the pile of clothes before his hands dragged down your shoulders and over your breasts before resting against your hips. 

"Gods, you're beautiful," he said, his thumbs stroking circles into your hips as your hand reached down, wrapping around his cock. He groaned at your touch, his head tipping back as you stroked it up and down. 

You angled your hips and lined him up with your cunt, swiping him through your folds a few times, relishing in how his grip tightened on your hips. You went to sink on to him, to finally have him inside you, when he startled. 

"Wait." His eyes snapped open. "I have to tell you something first."  Your brows pinched, but you let his cock go, and you settled on top of it, sliding your hips back and forth over it while you waited for whatever he had to tell you. "Fuck, you're not gonna make this easy are you?" He smirked. 

You shook your head, swallowing your moans as you waited. 

"If I get too worked up, I have a. . . a chance to shift," He said, eyes avoiding yours. You angled your head to the side, as your heart stuttered at the sudden anxiety rippling off of him. You'd never seen him so nervous, he was always so sure of himself, of what he did.

"You mean," You whispered, "You could change into a bear?" There was shame in his eyes as he nodded. 

"I understand if you change your mind about this, I won't be hurt." He still wasn't meeting your eyes as he spoke, his hands unnaturally still before they started to pull away from you. 

Your hands snapped out to grab his wrists, pulling his hands back to your skin as you lifted your hips up. His eyes finally lifted to yours in surprise when you reached down to again grip his cock in your hand, lining him up with your entrance. 

"Are you too exhausted to heal if necessary?" You asked, your voice low and sultry as you waited for a reply. 

The corners of his lips twitched up, and the worry for him in your heart ebbed away for now, "I'm never too exhausted to heal you." 

"Then it matters not," You pushed down on to him, moaning at the stretch, "I like a challenge." 

He moaned as you sank down, inch by inch, his eyes locked on to where his cock disappeared into you. When you were all the way to the base, you began slowly rocking your hips as you adjusted to his size, watching him as his eyes closed and his head tipped back again, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise. 

"Gods," he sighed, "You feel so good wrapped around me like this." 

When the sting of the stretch turned into a burning need, you lifted your hips, dragging off of him about half way before sinking back down. You braced your hands on his chest, gripping the hair there as you angled your hips and drove them down, hitting that spot that had you unable to bite down your moans. 

"You're going to wake up the camp moaning like that, little shadow," He grunted below you, "Do you wish to be found out here like this?" 

Your cunt clenched around him, and he moaned a laugh. 

"Oh, you like that idea?" He asked, his breath coming in hot pants as you leaned over him. "You like the idea of one of them finding you like this? Maybe they'd want to join, hm?" 

The thought of one of your companions finding you two, and wanting to join you, the thought of another pair of hands on you tore a loud moan from your throat and he grinned, his hands helping your hips keep their rhythm. 

"You do like that," he mused, his eyes starting to glow gold, "Oh fuck - " He grit his teeth, pushing down that need to shift as you fucked yourself on his cock. But he couldn't hold in all of it. 

His body grew a bit, the muscles stretching under your hands, but you didn't stop. The rhythm of your hips faltered as your climax grew closer and you were thankful he was helping you keep it, his hands lifting and slamming your hips down for you. 

You felt the stretch before realizing what was happening - his cock grew as he tried to hold in the shift. The sudden added length and girth sending you over the edge, everyone of your muscles tightening as your vision went white and your blood roared in your ears. You were sure you screamed, but there was a hand over your mouth, one that smelled of your own arousal. 

Halsin kept slamming your hips onto him, hitting that spot over and over and over. You felt his legs shift as he planted his feet on the floor and suddenly you were tugged down. His hand wrapped around the back of your neck, holding your face in his shoulder where you bit down to keep quiet, and his other arm wrapped around your back. 

He slammed up into you, chasing his own release but also ripping a second one from you. You bit hard into his skin, your lips vibrating against his shoulder as you shouted at your second orgasm, your cunt clenching his cock as he stilled, spilling into you. 

Halsin’s body twitched as he shouted into your neck, his hold tightening on you, squeezing the breath out of you. Your mouth released his shoulder, instead placing gentle kisses along his skin as his body began to shrink back to its normal size. 

"Are you alright?" He whispered into your cheek, dragging his lips over what he could reach of your face. You hummed and nuzzled your nose into his neck. 

"I'm alright," You mumbled, exhaustion beginning to weigh heavy on you. "Just. . . just tired." 

He chuckled, stroking the back of your head and tracing patterns over the expanse of your back. "Go to sleep, little shadow, I'll dress you and carry you back to camp." 

You let out a sleepy giggle, "What if I woke them?" 

"If they'd heard your scream when you came, they would've run down here already," He pulled back so he could try to look down at you. "But I think I caught it in time." 

"I guess you did," You words started to slur as sleep started to take you. 

"Maybe we should ask one of them to join next time, just to keep you quiet," He murmured, smirking at the way you moaned at the thought, your hips trying to grind down on him. "Oh yes, I think next time we'll see if one of them will join us." 

As always, thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments, and likes are all appreciated!

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[cariantha]

Talk is Cheap (1/2)

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Sawyer Brooks) Rating: General Warning: Mentions of pregnancy Category: AU; Angst (with a happy ending) Word count: 1.5K Prompt: What would have been the outcome if Sawyer had discovered that she was pregnant whilst Ethan was in the Amazon? A/N: The theme song for this fic is “Go Get Her” by Restless Road. Part 1 of this AU follows my HC for E&S up until the unexpected event at the end. Part 2 will be posted in a couple days.

After Ethan rescinded his resignation from Edenbrook, he and Sawyer agreed to keep some distance until she was no longer an intern and he was no longer her boss. But that was easier said than done. Having crossed the line, they found it impossible to go back to their respective sides. They were able to keep up appearances at work, but after hours they spent their time together in Ethan’s apartment, hiding from the world.

Ethan was quick to share the exciting news with Sawyer as soon as he received the offer. He told her that he had been invited to join a team organized by the World Health Organization. The carefully selected team would be traveling to an indigenous village in the Amazon. They hoped to prevent the further spread of an unknown virus and provide much-needed medical care.

Sawyer had mixed feelings. She knew this was something he had always wanted to do, and she outwardly supported and encouraged his upcoming adventure. But inwardly, now that they were finally together, she selfishly wanted him to stay.

When Naveen announced Ethan as his replacement and appointed Sawyer to the diagnostics team, Ethan promised her that they would “figure it out.” Sawyer had no reason to believe otherwise. To date, they had successfully kept their secret under wraps. It wasn’t ideal, but if it meant they could continue to be together, why fix what wasn’t broken?

All too soon, the time came for them to say goodbye. Standing in his doorway, Ethan framed Sawyer’s face between his hands. He studied her face, committing her features to memory, before planting a final kiss on her lips. “I’ll see you in a couple months.” 

“Will you check in once you’re there and settled?” Sawyer asked hopefully.

Ethan gave a nod, then watched as Sawyer flashed a sad but affectionate smile before walking away.

<><><><><><><><><><>

After a week with no contact, Sawyer tried to call him. No answer. She followed up a few days later with a text message. No reply. Two weeks had passed without a single acknowledgment from Ethan. 

She gave him the benefit of doubt. He was in the jungle after all, and maybe communication with the outside world was a challenge. But as more days passed, she started to wonder if something had happened. Something that would make him shut everyone out, again. Like the time he thought he failed his mentor and quit his job.

With just a couple hours left of her shift one afternoon, Sawyer stepped onto the elevator to find Naveen dabbing his forehead with a handkerchief. “Hey there, are you feeling okay?” she asked. Given his recent medical ordeal, she was immediately concerned.

“I’m fine, dear. Not to worry. I just came from outside.”

Acknowledging the unseasonably warm weather, Sawyer commiserated, “Being from Arizona, I can take the heat. But the humidity? Ugh. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.” 

“It can be downright uncomfortable. Though Ethan would probably welcome it given the climate where he's currently stationed. Poor fellow. His shirt has been completely soaked both times I’ve spoken to him.” 

Sawyer felt a sudden stabbing pain in the center of her chest. Her heart slowly bleeding out, she tried to maintain her composure. “You… you’ve spoken with him?” 

Naveen, who was once the nation’s leading diagnostician, knew immediately from the change in her tone and body language that something was amiss.

The elevator dinged as the doors opened to the fifth floor. Emotions betraying her, Sawyer swept a finger along her lower lashes to catch the tears that threatened to spill. It didn’t go unnoticed. 

Naveen quickly pressed the button to close the elevator doors. “I have some tissues in my office,” he offered, reaching out to give her hand a quick squeeze. When the doors opened again, this time to the seventh floor, the chief led his personal lifesaver to his office. Once they were seated, he pushed a box of tissues toward her and asked, “When was the last time you spoke with him?”

“The night before he left town.” She told him that she had tried to call and text, but Ethan hadn’t responded. “I-I don’t understand. Things were good… we were good.”

Naveen offered consolation, sharing his disappointment in the man who had become like a son to him. “I’m sorry, Sawyer. He’s an idiot. Plain and simple. I can offer no other excuse for his behavior.”

Despite her heartbreak, she couldn’t help but chuckle quietly at his candor, grateful for the validation.

“I have heard the way he speaks about you. Seen the way he acts around you. He lights up! Do you know how rare that is? You are special to him, Sawyer,” he reassured. Then with a sigh, "One thing I've learned about Ethan is that he feels deeply, and when those feelings become overwhelming, he shuts down. If I had to hazard a guess, that's the reason he has ghosted you."

She nodded, processing the information. “I love that you know what ‘ghosting’ is,” she said with an appreciative smile. Not wanting to take up any more of his time, Sawyer stood to leave. “Thank you, Naveen. I should get back to my patients.” 

A couple minutes later, as if summoned by the universe, Ethan’s name and picture appeared on Naveen’s vibrating phone. “Were your ears ringing just now?” Naveen answered.

His protégé furrowed his brow. "Why would they be?"

“I just had a chat with the newest member of the diagnostics team. You remember Sawyer, of course?”

Ethan huffed and shook his head in frustration. 

With parent-like disappointment in his tone, Naveen asked, “What are you doing, son?”

Like an annoyed teenager, Ethan looked away from the camera. Whatever was or was not happening between him and Sawyer was none of Naveen’s business. Part of him blamed Naveen for putting them into this situation in the first place. As he gazed into the distance, carefully considering his response, Ethan missed when Naveen’s attention was momentarily diverted by a gentle rap on the door. 

Sawyer poked her head in and pointed to the desk. “Sorry, I forgot my pager,” she mouthed.

Naveen gestured for her to come in.

“How is she?”

Sawyer froze when she heard the familiar voice, her terrified eyes flicking up to Naveen’s. 

Looking back down at his phone screen, Naveen countered, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?” 

“What?” The view in Ethan’s hand blurred before finally coming into focus on Sawyer’s equally panicked expression.

The lovers-turned-strangers stared at each other for an awkward moment until Ethan finally broke the silence. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she reciprocated, voice steady despite the thundering in her chest.

Naveen handed his phone to Sawyer. “Why don’t you kids catch up? I need to check in with my assistant before she leaves for the day.”

Reluctantly taking the phone, she watched Naveen retreat. Only after the door clicked shut did she turn her attention back to the now guilt-ridden face on the screen.

"How have you been?" he asked with trepidation.

Sawyer shook her head defiantly. She didn’t care about pleasantries. She wanted answers. Fighting back the tears that she had just gotten under control, she cut to the chase.

“I thought you and I… I thought we meant something to each other… I thought we were together,” she fumbled for the right words.

“We were.”

“We were? Past tense?” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Did I do something wrong? Something to upset you?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Sawyer.”

“Is there someone else?”

“No,” he said firmly with a shake of his head. “No.”

“Then why, Ethan?” she pleaded for understanding.

“For the same reasons I stopped things in Miami. I can’t be–if I am–your career is–and you mean too–”

The connection became unstable, with Sawyer only able to catch every few words that he spoke. “You keep cutting out… Ethan, you’re breaking up–” The screen suddenly turned black and the call ended. “You’re breaking up..." she repeated, the double-meaning not lost on her, “with me.” 

Falling into a chair, Sawyer covered her mouth, muting the quiet sob that she could no longer contain. “God, I’m so stupid.” After a couple minutes, she sniffed back her tears and composed herself. Cracking the door open, she found Naveen with his hip perched on his assistant’s desk. 

He couldn’t help but notice her reddened, blotchy cheeks. His questioning eyes met her bloodshot, swollen ones. Sawyer answered with a shake of her head, handed him his phone, then turned and briskly walked away.

<><><><><><><><><><>

A month later, Sawyer sat on a paper-lined exam table chewing on her thumbnail, waiting for the doctor to enter.

Knock, knock. A slightly older woman dressed in pink scrubs entered the room. “Hi Sawyer, I don’t think we’ve officially met. I’m Dr. Moore.”

“Hi,” Sawyer greeted. Not usually one to shy away from small talk, her anxiety made the task seem impossible.

Dr. Moore sat down on a low stool, wheeling closer to Sawyer with a tablet in hand. “I have your test results. Your pregnancy test is positive.” As the doctor spoke of conception and due dates, and suggested a quick ultrasound to confirm, a single tear fell from the corner of Sawyer’s eye.

Part Two

Tag List: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @potionsprefect @jamespotterthefirst @annfg8 @peonierose @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @jerzwriter @quixoticdreamer16 @mysticalgalaxysstuff @inlocusmads @txemrn @trappedinfanfiction @mvalentine @takemyopenheart @openheartforeverinmyheart @coffeeheartaddict2 @genevievemd @starrystarrytrouble @hopelessromantic1352 @kyra75 @lsvdw-blog @rookiemartin @headoverheelsforramsey @zealouscanonindeer

[my-favourite-zhent]

BG3 Backstory Bash by Kelandrin

This is a challenge to help people flesh out their Tav’s backstory by exploring their past. It is organized into four sections with seven prompts. You can treat this as a monthly challenge or a general project. You can write headcanons, fics, or share art based on the prompts! You can interpret the prompts however you want. If you want to share use the tag #bg3backstorybash

I was tagged by @rolansrighthorn and @commander-krios so I'm giving this a go for Isolde aka Izzy of New Tricks. Tagging if you think this would be fun to try: @thisaccountisagainstmywill @littleplasticrat @sunites @killerpancakeburger @cloverthebarbearian

Baby:

Parents: Both humans from Phlan in Thar, north of the Moonsea. They were archaeologists and former professors of archaeology.

Birth: Izzy was born in Eleint just a few days before Highharvestide. Her parents blamed her penchant for fruit on her birthday.

First word: "up" She was a bit of a spoiled brat that liked to be carried everywhere

When they first walked: Following a bird that had been picking at the camp scraps

Tantrum: Lots of tantrums, not having anyone her age to play with meant she was a bit of a high maintenance baby.

First sickness: Since they were out on the road a lot she actually didn't catch ill till she was around six and they were visiting relatives in Phlan. She immediately caught the shaking fever but luckily fought it off after a few days.

Thunderstorm: Rather scared of them when living out of tents. Warmed up a bit after she got to stay in more permanent structures.

Childhood:

Friends: Since her family was always on the road or at various dig sites away from civilization Izzy rarely had playmates her own age. She spent most of her time reading or trying to feed any local corvids.

Siblings: Izzy is an only child.

Getting into trouble: After toddlerhood she was a generally well behaved child. She spent most of her time reading.

Birthday: In Eleint a few days before Highharvesttide.

Games: Enjoys puzzles but is unfamiliar with most children's games. Corra introduced her to darts which she quite likes.

Learning something new: Huge bookworm, loves to learn anything to do with linguistics, ancient history (especially Netheril) and cultural practices. It helps her understand people better as she has very little practical experience.

Trauma: Her parents were murdered when she was 16, though it was written off by the local authorities as an accidental fire. She is still a bit hung up on the fact that she doesn't know who the killer was and what were their motivations.

Teenager:

Growing pains: None, she never grew that much to begin with.

Taking responsibility: Growing up around almost solely adults Izzy took on responsibility as a young age, often helping out on dig sites or translation work for her parents.

Rebellion: Not at all a rebellious. Excepting the incident below.

Running away: After her parents passing she was sent to live with her aunt in the countryside for a time. However well meaning her aunt had no idea what to do with a young girl and thought trying to marry her off would solve that problem. Izzy decided to run off and go to university instead.

First love: Love is maybe a strong word, but her first crush was a boy in her aunt's village. He was very sweet but ultimately loved another girl in the village.

Adulthood:

Peer pressure: Finally among peers for the first time in university Izzy was very desperate to be accepted. She ended up copying her notes and ghostwriting assignments for a pack of shitty noble brats.

Their "first time": Was briefly in a relationship with one of the noble brats. Fairly painful first time as the guy was pretty selfish and inexperienced but she was too in love to know better.

Reckless behaviour: Devastated when she was kicked out of school and the brat pack dumped her Izzy got drunk with Corra at a festhall and slept with an adventurer who was flirting with her. He was a lot better than the noble brat.

Serious relationships: The aforementioned noble brat who dumped her when she was kicked out of school. A banite priest who was just using her for her expertise in archaelogy, ghosted as soon as he got what he wanted. Currently with Rugan the Zhent (New Tricks) we've yet to see if the pattern repeats.

Work: Since she doesn't have a proper degree she mostly uses her linguistic and archaeological expertise to aid tomb raiders with excavating ruins and smaller monasteries with translation work.

Leaving home: Izzy never really had a permanent home having grown up on the road. University was probably the closest she got to having one. She now winters with Corra in Crimor.

Aging: Early thirties but still looks good for her age, not strong but agile.

Finding their place: Still searching, her line of work and previous bad experiences make it difficult for her to form the lasting connections she so desperately wants.

Starting a family/found family: Really wants to find a life partner and a group of friends. She doesn't have any experience with children but would be willing to have them if that's what her partner wants.

[motownfiction]

boxcar

Steph doesn’t like doing anything the same way twice, and she hates clichés. When she graduated from high school, she and her mother arranged a Cliché Celebration for her party. Everyone would write a different cliché in their card to Steph, and whichever example made her scream in the loudest agony would win a prize (an oversized chocolate bar, which, unbeknownst to the guests, the Armstrong women had been trying to find a use for since Christmas). Three years later, she remembers who won the contest (Lucy Callaghan, who wrote in her messiest cursive, “Education is not a destination, but a journey”), but she also remembers the cliché that almost took home the prize. It was from Lucy’s husband, Will.

You can’t go home again.

Steph still remembers how she felt when she read that one. It did nearly make her scream but not because she hated it. She wanted to scream because she couldn’t figure out what it meant. Sure, she’d heard it before, but there was something about it in the card that seemed different, there, in Will’s all-caps printing. You can’t go home again. Steph used to think that was so stupid. Of course you can go home again. She goes home after school everyday. It’s always there, always the same, even if Steph takes a different route on Monday than she did last Friday. Even the first two summers she came home from college, it felt the same as it always did. Can’t go home again? Steph goes home again all the time. She goes home again so often it’s boring.

But now, during her third summer back from college, she thinks she finally knows what it meant. She arrives back at her mother’s house, like always, but the walls in her room are a different color. From blue to green. She asks Mom about it, and she says that it was just too painful to keep Steph’s room the way it was. A reminder that you’re not always around, she says, and Steph just has to live with that.

When she walks around the neighborhood, it’s different, too. Sadie and Daniel are getting married, so even when she bumps into them at the gas station, they’re too preoccupied to even halfheartedly suggest they meet up again sometime. She saw Lucy and Will across the street in the parking lot at 7-Eleven, sharing Slurpees and potato chips with four-year-old Elenore, but they did not see her standing there. When she runs into Sam at the music store, he’s with another girl. Steph doesn’t ask if she’s more than a friend. Too afraid to find out. Too afraid to admit what she’s always known: These people – the very ones she grew up with – are not her friends anymore. Maybe they never were.

And so she finds herself alone in her car, with a bag of Burger King riding shotgun, stopped at a red light on Outer Drive with Billy Preston on the radio. Nothin’ from nothin’ bleeds nothin’, she sings and smacks her hand against the steering wheel. For the first time in a long time, she mourns that nobody is there to correct her on the lyrics. Nothin’ from nothin’ leaves nothin’. She snorts. No shit.

Steph looks up at the train passing on the tracks above her. Her eyes fixate on the boxcar, and God help her, she smiles. Ever since she was little, she’s wanted to hop inside a boxcar. Something about the way they look. Like they were designed for adventures (or for hiding, or for both). Whenever she watches a movie, and the stars jump into boxcars, her heart leaps with a little jealousy. She wants to hop in this one right now. After all, she can’t go home again. Might as well let the boxcar take her away. Far away. Maybe to a place in the country that doesn’t exist.

The light turns green, and she drives right on the same old roads. Eventually, she arrives back at her mother’s house, but it is not how she left it this morning.

You can’t go home again.

(part of @nosebleedclub october challenge -- day xxvii!)

[ofdragonsdeep]

23: Pitch

Themis has a suggestion for his stalwart companions.

(ThemisxErichthoniosxm!WoL)

Being in Pandæmonium was strange.

It wasn’t just the silence, broken only by the faint creaking of chains that characterised the warding magics around the place. The emptiness Ar’telan was familiar with, too, having journey through the ghosts of so many places on his adventures. No, it was the time. And not even that - it was who that meant was with him.

It was not his first visit to Themis and Erichthonios. The gate in the Crystal Tower seemed content to deposit him in a mostly linear fashion back in the past, and much like his trips to the First, it was only a few questions (and a few very confused researchers) to find out the difference between the time he had lived and the time that had passed. Elpis moved slowly, if it moved at all. The end did not seem to have crept any closer since Meteion’s departure, despite the many moons he had spent convalescing after that most final of encounters.

“Ar’telan!” Themis was always pleased to see him. Themis was pleased to see pretty much anyone, as far as Ar’telan could tell, though he suspected from his interactions with his Elidibus that some of that vibrance was at least partly a front. “It is good to see you. I have made little progress on the ward, I fear, but your presence is welcome regardless.”

“It’s good to know I’m more than a stick to beat your enemies with,” Ar’telan said, a faint smile on his face. Themis chuckled at that. 

“You have done an admirable job of it when required, I will confess, but I think we should see little risk for the time being. Erichthonios is almost done re-interring all of the errant creations now.” There was a smile on his face whenever he spoke of Erichthonios, that the other man doubtless had not yet noticed. Admittedly Ar’telan only recognised that particular kind of smile from his time with Elidibus, but that was a can of worms he was not opening in this timeline. 

It was a strange thing to think about.

“Actually, now you are here,” Themis remarked, and the smile turned devious. Ar’telan shot a look back to the neus, just in case. “There was something I had been meaning to discuss with the two of you. If you do not mind, of course.”

“Not at all,” Ar’telan agreed, and wondered if he would regret that.

–

Erichthonios had a dour-looking resting face, but he did smile at their approach, even if he quickly hid it. Ar’telan had spoken with him many times, both while they were still trying to retake Asphodelos, and in the moments after. There was a pain in his heart, one that Ar’telan could sympathise with. Their shared dislike for Lahabrea pained Themis greatly, Ar’telan knew, but he could not exactly explain to the two of them why he so disliked the man. In this time, he would have been different. In this time… Ar’telan hoped, but not for his own sake, that they did not have to face him at the end of their road.

“I’m surprised you keep coming back to this dusty old place,” Erichthonios said, and Ar’telan smiled.

“I come for the people, not the scenery,” he replied. “Or would you prefer I didn’t visit?” Erichthonios huffed at that, and Themis hid a smile behind his hand. 

“You know that you could leave as well, if you so desired,” he pointed out. “Spend some time in Elpis, perhaps.”

“And leave you to manage the wards alone? Absolutely not,” Erichthonios disagreed with an immediate shake of his head. “Not that I don’t think you can manage, but you already bear too much of the burden.”

“I did volunteer for the job,” Themis said, an affable smile on his face. Ar’telan always found his gaze drawn to Themis’s eyes. They were so bright, so vibrant in this time. And it was so strange to see him go without the mask, even in Elpis where it was protocol to do so. “Though, now I have your attention, I wondered if we might speak on a serious matter. The three of us.”

“A serious matter?” Erichthonios repeated. “Is there activity at the ward?” Themis shook his head.

“No. The magicks hold, both the ones I have woven and the ones which bar our passage. My concerns are more personal. More… selfish, perhaps.”

“Selfish? You?” Ar’telan said, surprised. Even in the guise of Themis, he had been just as devoted to his duty as Ar’telan expected of Elidibus. He had more room for nuance, without the Tempering and the years of loss and loneliness, though. Elidibus as Ar’telan had known him would never have entertained the chance of saving Pandæmonium.

Then again, he had entertained the chance of Ar’telan, he supposed.

“I know full many who would call it such,” Themis said. “Even my presence here is selfish, in a way.”

“Well, it saved my life, so I’ll allow it,” Erichthonios said, which made Themis laugh.

“There is room for selfish gestures in life, on occasion. I hope that now is one such time,” he said. “I shall begin with honesty. Though we have known each other for but a little time, in the grand scheme of things, I will confess I have grown fond of you both.” 

Erichthonios blinked. Ar’telan could map the progress on his face from bemusement, to understanding, to embarrassment, to denial, all within the span of seconds. It was exactly what he had expected, and yet…

Themis had said both.

Ar’telan had spoken to Thancred before he had set out for Pandæmonium the first time. He had been concerned, given what Elidibus had said in the Tower, and what he had not experienced on his first visit, and Thancred had told him not to do anything he’d regret. But they had both known that he would. He had hoped, that when presented with the vastness of paradise, when the prospect of Azem’s return kept Elidibus enamoured, it would be nothing but longing on his own part. Elidibus had not loved him, had he? He had loved Azem.

Hadn’t he?

“You- us-” Erichthonios said, before clearing his throat and shaking his head. “I think perhaps you are the one who needs to step out to Elpis, Themis. You are implying-”

“That I am quite taken with you, yes,” Themis clarified, a cheerful note to his voice. “Although if it concerns you, I am happy to forget that I ever began this conversation.”

“Themis,” Erichthonios said, despair in every letter of the name. “Ar’telan I can understand, but me?”

“Wait, you can?” Ar’telan said, fingers stumbling over the letters. “I’m not- I mean, compared to any of you, I-”

“Your aether is weak, this is true, but despite the falsehoods you have spun for the others I know you are no mere familiar,” Themis said. “You are as much a person as any of us, and infinitely more fascinating, I will admit.” He raised a thoughtful hand to his face, fingers on his lips as he hummed in curious consideration. “But if you are both quite done being self-deprecating, I had a proposal to accompany my confession.”

“But- what of Azem?” Ar’telan asked. Now Erichthonios’s confusion was far more apt.

“What does the Convocation have to do with this?” he said. Themis sighed dramatically.

“You are stealing my lines, Ar’telan,” he remarked. “But yes, Ar’telan is right. I have not… precisely mentioned it before, but I am romantically involved with the current holder of the seat of Azem.” 

“...I fail to see what I could offer you that Azem cannot,” Erichthonios said. His voice was curt, but one of his fists was clenched by his side as he fought to bury his feelings. Ar’telan bit his lip to keep his silence.

“You can offer me much, my dear Erichthonios,” Themis assured, and Erichthonios’s skin darkened at the epithet. “More importantly, Azem and I have an understanding. I have spoken with them about my feelings, about what I mean to ask of you. You can rest assured that you will not have any angry Convocation members chasing you down Pandæmonium’s hallways.”

“Well, maybe not that one,” Erichthonios muttered. Themis dutifully ignored the implication.

“And so to my question. I had wondered if the two of you would consent to a date.”

“A… date,” Ar’telan repeated. When was the last time he had even thought of such things? His relationships on the Source were extremely unconventional, and the constant threat of apocalypse had quite precluded the idea of dates for many of those he loved. The spectre of Meteion yet lingered in the back of his mind, the knowledge that this wouldn’t, couldn’t last, and he could not tell them. 

And even if he did, Elidibus would forget him in due time.

“A date,” Erichthonios said, his voice deadpan in his utter disbelief. “I- Themis, we are in the middle of unravelling the work of a mysterious, highly malevolent force who seeks to turn the entirety of Pandæmonium on its head, bending all within to its cruel whims - and you are asking me on a date?”

“Yes,” Themis said, grinning. “Both of you, technically.”

“You are unbelievable,” Erichthonios managed, his voice strained. 

“But that isn’t a no.”

“No, it’s… it’s not a no.” 

Themis clapped his hands together in delight at the admission, hard-won as it was, then turned his attention to Ar’telan.

“And you, my falling star?” he asked. Ar’telan floundered. He shouldn’t. For all he was helping to save them from one disaster, the other, more certain one yet loomed in the future, all-consuming as it would be. His feelings would not matter in the face of it - Meteion would call out to them. Zodiark would be summoned. Nothing he did in the past would change what had happened in his present.

And yet… for them, it was their present. Was it fair to them, to hide so much, to share so little, and still…?

“Anyone with eyes can see the way he looks at you. I’d say it’s a foregone conclusion,” Erichthonios remarked, which startled Ar’telan from his thoughts of catastrophe. Themis did not seem perturbed by his hesitation, nor surprised by Erichthonios’s statement. Elidibus had always been sharp. Ar’telan was not entirely ruling out that he was simply doing this to find out more about the strange ‘familiar’.

“You have told Azem of me,” he said, and Themis nodded.

“It was he who predicted your coming, lest you forget,” he said. “Though not in such certain words.”

“But… You have seen it. That we-”

“A soul does not define a person, Ar’telan. And you are not Azem,” Themis cut in. “Though you would make a most fitting one, should the seat ever find itself empty, I would say.” Ar’telan found himself without words to respond, hands stilled mid-gesture. “When a soul returns to the aetherial sea and is in time reborn, we do not crown the new with the name of the old. You are you. Azem would say much the same, I think.” He smiled then, an easy gesture on his face. “And I think they would most like to meet you, once all of this is over. If you decide to grace us with your presence then, of course.”

“I- of course I will,” Ar’telan managed, looking to Erichthonios for help. The taller man just shrugged at him, still looking a little off-balance from the sudden confession. “Themis… If you are certain that what you feel is for me, I… I do return your feelings. But if you ever look at me and see another-”

“I would not do that to you,” Themis assured him. “I swear it on my very name. Never.”

And yet you will.

Ar’telan’s heart ached, heavy with the knowledge. Elidibus would be the Heart. Whatever became of Erichthonios, he would not survive the end of days. And yet… there would be time before the end. Unlike the Ancients, Ar’telan knew full well the weight of death, the threat of mortality. Was it really any different? 

How strange, that the mortal would outlast them all.

“If that is what your heart says, I will answer it in kind,” Ar’telan said. 

“Wonderful!” Themis declared. “Pandæmonium is a… particular kind of scenic, I will grant you, but I have prepared a few ideas.” 

Ar’telan wondered how, exactly, Themis intended to explain this to Lahabrea.

[ceruleanchillin]

Honeymoon Headcanons: Mayans Edition

Characters: Angel, Coco, EZ x F!Reader

Miami (Angel)

It wasn’t difficult at all to decide where the two of you would take your honeymoon. When you weren’t gonna be naked, Angel wanted you in sundresses and bikinis. You wanted him in linen shirts, and to feel him up in a club. Couple that with you both wanting a tropical environment, and Miami it is.

Angel letting you handle the accommodations, because you seem to know more about what you wanna see/where you wanna go than he does. He only cares about a bed and shower for when he’s not taking you in the inappropriate places. He just hands over the cash, though he complains about his hurt wallet.

Angel hard as a rock when he sees your new name on your plane ticket.

The two of you nearly missing your flight because your husband needs to “show his wife he loves her”.

You babying him on the flight, because Angel has never flown anywhere before.

“Mami, it’s perfectly valid to feel like a flying toaster can’t safely get you anywhere but a casket. Which they can’t even put you in, because you’ll be everywhere!”

Cue you distracting him with kisses and dirty words in his ear, which gets you initiated into the Mile High Club

Barely making it into the cute little condo before the two of you are at it again, collapsing in the late hours to jet lag and mutual satisfaction.

Your first official day is spent dragging Angel around the humid streets. Knowing he stresses easily if you plan things too tightly, and wanting to wing it yourself. It’s surprising how well you to fit in, it almost feels like home.

Angel switching from being jealous, because your tiny cotton sundress is attracting more than just his attention, to him kissing all over your dewy skin because so much of it is visible.

You getting as jealous as Angel, because it seems like each place you drag him to has openly interested ladies. It’s the white linen shirt that he won’t fully button no matter how many times you try to make him.

Angel basking in the attention, and even playing it up to force you to be the one to initiate inappropriate public sex.

Smirking when you break after a woman pays for his (and unintentionally yours) order at a small cafe you stepped into and you snap and drag him to a hidden place.

“I only love you querida, mi alma.” he whispers in your ear when he bottoms out inside you.

You two are a beautiful couple. Photogenic as all hell. Alone, neither of you have a problem attracting interest, but together, you make people want to be seen around you. That’s why you have no problem club hopping to all the exclusive places.

Angel taking photos and videos of you dancing because he’s so enthralled. He can’t wait to show your kids one day when they ask why he fell for you, and he explains how full of life you are.

Getting enough liquor in Angel to get him dance somewhere away from the club, especially since he (lies) and says he can’t.

You and Angel competing to see who can get the most people to buy your drinks + the two of you losing track because you both get drunk.

A quickie in the coatroom is the prize, Angel fucking you to the hypnotic beat.

Spending a few hours apart the following day, only to still keep texting and FaceTiming each other until you met up, touch starved, at a small restaurant.

Deciding to spend the rest of the day at your Airbnb laid up under each other after Angel scores weed. Teasing Angel about his monetary complaints when you spend all night enjoying the small backyard pool.

Angel thanking God for getting an adventure loving woman as his soulmate when you wake him up the next afternoon to inform him you rented jet skis for the day.

You being impressed when, while jet skiing, Angel silver tongues your way into an invitation to a nearby yacht party out of the host.

FaceTiming Gilly to make him jealous that you two are doing Hookah and drinking Casamigos in a hot tub.

Angel ramping up the mockery when EZ and Coco appear on screen, attracted by Gilly’s whining. Everyone looking overworked and salty, while you and Angel are living your best non-sober lives.

Slipping away from the party to one of the rooms on the boat, because once again, you and Angel never know when to stop teasing each other before it ends up in sex.

Feeling bold enough to suggest that since Angel’s been documenting so much of the trip, that maybe he should film this too.

The aftermath being a surprisingly sweet series of kisses and confessions where the two of you express how thankful you are to have found each other. How you can’t wait to build a forever together.

Marfa + Roswell (Coco)

No one knew how you got Coco to agree to travel for your honeymoon until you finally revealed where you were going. Splitting a week between Marfa and Roswell.

You and Coco are that “weird” conspiracy, incense, and weed couple, so it makes sense.

Giving Coco an edible before you leave, because like Angel, he doesn’t fuck with air travel like that.

“They got me with that bullshit in the military, but that was out of my control. You askin’ a lot right now, you’re lucky you’re cute mujer.”

Coco getting progressively handsy during the flight as the edible hits. Eventually, you stop fake-fighting his neck kisses and forward touches.

Also like Angel in that he’s unafraid to become a member of the Mile High Club.

The ride from the El Paso airport, to the car rental place, to Marfa takes far longer than Coco would like.

He’s used to long stretches of trip on his bike, and when you notice him becoming antsy, you distract him with interesting facts about Marfa.

The entire time, Coco can’t help but think that you’re the perfect road trip co-pilot, only to realize he actually meant his life in general now.

Coco proud as hell when you fall in love with his accommodations choice like he did. The colorful airstream trailers of the El Cosmico hotel are the two of you through and through.

You both trying to be responsible adults and refresh after travel, but continuing to get lost in each other during the whole process.

Shower sex -> Making out while drying off -> Touching while searching through your bags for something to wear -> bed sex -> repeat

Looking thoroughly mauled when you finally manage to get Coco off of you and into the car in search of food the next afternoon.

Coco being happy you can’t cover up due to the heat, while you wonder what superpower he and his boys have that let them wear flannel and long sleeves in the heat.

Dragging Coco to a cute cafe you saw on instagram, and him knowing, by the hipster design of it, that his wallet is about to cry.

Stealing food from his plate, and laughing at him sucking his teeth and whining when he catches you.

“You’re stuck with me forever now Johnny sooo….get used to this.”

“Small price to pay for that I guess.”

Finding small shops to go to and being Siamese twins in every one. Coco showing he has good taste in a lot of things one might think he wouldn’t. Him opening up his wallet at everything you 'ooh' and 'aww' at. He can’t help it, he likes you happy, and your kisses and adoring looks are addicting.

For almost everything you get, Letty gets something too. Neither of you wants that tantrum when you get back.

You fighting yourself to avoid the art supply store, and Coco not having it.

“I have so many supplies already, it’s an addiction at this point.”

“So? Get some more. It’s our week, we shouldn’t stress about shit.”

Coco bragging on your talents and successes to the art shop cashier when you checkout.

“Cocoooo.” you murmur hiding your face in his shoulder, arms around his waist.

“Don’t be shy ma, you’re fucking amazing. I love your skills.”

Cue the cashier swooning at the two of you.

Finding unique liquor stores and getting tipsy on samples. It becomes twice as fun when locals, and other tourists alike, start discussing the Marfa lights with you, and you and Coco impress everyone with your ideas.

Being invited to a bonfire smoke session with the other El Cosmico guests when you get back.

Sketching Coco by the firelight, because he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in that moment, and now he’s officially yours.

The sex being on another level of intimate that night, because all day you and Coco have been engaging in your respective love languages, and it culminates in mutual need for each other.

The drive to Roswell being more tolerable for Coco, but he still misses his bike. Your excitement about AlienFest is so palpable however, he quickly forgets.

Your hotel being more conventional, but the people you meet making up for it. Finally, you and Coco aren’t the weirdest ones in the room.

Taking the time before the festival starts to check in with friends and family and accumulate odd souvenirs for them. You believe Coco is intentionally getting them stuff they’ll hate.

“Taza won’t wear that baby, he has better taste in jewelry than UFO earrings.”

“Ok, but can he bitch about us not getting him anything? Plus, you can guilt anyone into anything.”

Doing cute edible pastries at the festival.

“You know Aliens are demons right? Jack Parsons and L. Ron Hubbard were doing summoning rituals in the Mojave in 1946, and Roswell was the following year.”

“Word?…Shit. Tell me that again when we’re not rolling. I wanna read about it………you’re so smart mami.”

Coco realizing between every snack stop, every dance he shares with you, every trinket you pick up, and every little conspiracy tidbit you share, that you’re his wife now. That the peace he’s been feeling all week, that he thought he’d never have, is going to be his new normal.

New Orleans (EZ)

You and EZ both enjoy engaging with history and culture, and felt that your honeymoon should be built off of your shared interests. During your meticulous wedding planning, it was decided New Orleans would be the honeymoon destination. It didn’t hurt that you missed your southern roots too, even if you weren’t from New Orleans.

Traveling with EZ is a dream considering you’re both pretty organized, together people. He’s not afraid of flying, but you’re always a little nervous.

EZ being Best Husband™️ and soothing even the most minor of your stresses by turning your attention to the excitement of your trip and your new relationship status.

Teasing EZ in-flight won’t get you Mile High Club initiated, because he finds it much more entertaining to punish you by letting you work the both of you up, and making you stay that way for the duration of the flight. He’s got enough will power to suffer through it, because your soft whines make it worth it.

The airbnb is everything it was promised to be, and you’d appreciate that later, but all you can think of is your husband when you step through the door. That’s the other half of why EZ likes to leave you waiting. Your aggression and exclusive desire for him gets, and keeps, him hard.

It rains the following day, which is just as well, because neither of you are quite ready to stop physically expressing your love for each other. The day consists of ordering food, falling out of your clothes and onto each other, separating to read, falling back on each other, and quick naps.

Angel sending mocking texts in your Reyes group about how you’re trying to turn his brother bamma like you, only to stop when you threaten him with no souvenirs.

EZ and you taking responsibility for your own tour because let’s face it, you both know exactly what you want to see, and can plan a more satisfying tour for the both of you. You take turns deciding where to go next.

When it’s his turn, EZ picks an art museum, and can’t quit smiling about it. You think it’s because he picked a place he really wanted to go to.

“Babe, I have a surprise for you.”

“What?” your excitement always makes EZ’s heart race with his own.

He hands you the guide brochure he picked up at the door, folded to the section he wants you to look at.

“Faith Ringgold exhibit?!”

He hums and nods, grunting when you knock into him with a hug.

“Thank you for thinking of me. I love you.” you look up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears and he just kisses you, afraid he’ll cry if he says anything.

The two of you avoid the tourist trap spots for lunch and find a cute family owned cafe. You order for the both of you based on what you know about southern cuisine and both of your tastes.

You love watching EZ fall in love with the food as he keeps asking “Can you make this?” about everything he eats.

The two of you walking through the Garden District in the evening. Hands swinging between you with no plans but to admire the beautiful homes and foliage.

EZ noting how awestruck you are, and you describing what you love about the historic, towering homes.

He catches that when you describe what your dream home in the area would be, he and your future children are mentioned frequently, and it makes butterflies dance in his stomach. He can picture your family in the yards around him.

The two of you almost make it back to your Airbnb, but give into your baser urges after all the domestic conversation. EZ pulls you into an alley for a quickie, the two of you fighting to silence the other’s vocal expression.

You teasing EZ after that he’s more like his brother than he thinks. Him teasing back the two of you would’ve been caught and arrested if he was like Angel.

The following day is relaxed and less planned. The both of you getting thoughtful gifts for each member of your family, blood and otherwise. EZ scores major points for the gifts he suggests for your mom and dad, and you kind of want to jump him again.

EZ is glad you’re impressed, but it’s nothing to him. It all comes naturally because he loves you so much, and refuses to be anything other than the husband he knows you deserve.

AN:

I didn’t want to add this, cuz I wanted to end on a sweet note, but you just know Angel would accidentally send that vid to one of his boys.

Personally, I lose it for shit like this. Anything domestic in writings is my jam, so I decided to make these headcanons.

- Fun fact: Jet Ski is kind of like Bandaid in that it’s become the generic term for “personal water vehicles”, but it’s actually a specific brand’s name for their PWVs. I learned this while writing this enjoy💀.

[valdomarxxx]

I am tentatively returning for today's @whataboutthebard prompt. Hands are… well, hands are everything. Fingers entwined, sending shivers down my spine… or grasping, strong enough to choke. Plucking a string or hurling a stone. Soft, squeezing touches brought to dazzling completion… or a stinging slap, a yearning bruise.

Reach out. Take my hand. Run.

Do you remember those first awkward brushes, younger versions of ourselves in too-small quarters, sharing space as much as we shared books and quills and ink? Back then, before everything, it didn't mean as much. Perhaps that means it meant more.

Now… now I don't know. I could fill books with the tales of every brush of hands, of all the remembered and forgotten times our hands found each other. I could write until my own hands seize up and my fingers stiffen and I still would have a hundred more stories to tell. A thousand.

The last time I saw you - I say this so often, but this was truly the last time I saw you - we put it all aside for one final farewell. You were preparing to leave, hair tied and coat flapping about your legs. You looked like a foppish pirate. You did not appreciate me telling you that.

(I never told you if it was a compliment or not. You assumed it was an insult. I have always been a fan of swashbuckling.)

We were gathered with the few of our friends who remained so deep into the season, bidding you farewell. Usually, these partings come with excitement; at least, for you and the others. You are always off story-searching and monster hunting, ready for some new, grand adventure.

It is cold, this morning. And far too early to be awake. The roads will be quiet this time of day; you will not be waylaid as you journey north. You will not be seen.

The tingling sense of something is gone. Now there is something deeper, something darker. There are storm clouds on the horizon, and we can all sense them rumbling.

Before you mount your horse, you turn to me one last time. Your eyes are shadowed, and you wear your hat low around your face.

"Valdo."

Who knew such meaning could be packed into two syllables.

"Ju--" I swallow. There is a thorn lodged in my throat. "Jaskier."

You extend your hand. You've not yet put on your leather gloves, but you will need to. It looks like snow.

I take your hand. Your skin is cold. This, we both now, may be the last time we see each other.

We stand hand-gripped in the square, watching each other through the mist. Even in the darkness, I can see the dagger strapped to your hip glimmer. It is not your only weapon.

I squeeze your fingers. "Good luck."

You squeeze back. For a moment, I expect you're going to say something biting. Something cynical. Something dismissive.

"Thank you," you say. Your voice is quiet. "I fear I'll need it."

You're gone in a clatter of horseshoes and a swish of wine-red leather. We remaining few linger in the courtyard till your shadow vanishes across the bridge. When you finally disappear, we can breathe again.

It's Priscilla who speaks first. "He'll be fine," she says. "He always is."

I flex my fingers at my side. My skin tingles. I hope she will be proven right.

I know she will be proven wrong. I know what will befall you, no matter how fast you run.

(Take my hand. Run with me. Run, bard. Run away.)

And when Priss is proven wrong… gods, there will be so much I will regret.

Too much.

[cyndavilachase]

I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye

So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended… 

I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.

I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.

As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).  

I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant. 

What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.

I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation. 

I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.

Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers. 

But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt. 

My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.

Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.

By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.

I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely. 

I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.

It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.

As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.

Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that. 

Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️

-Cynthia D.

[shivada-jade]

Intertwined Fate

taken from my ao3 and sadly abandoned i will find a way to continue this somehow

summary: you've been noticing that the blonde traveler is now how everyone describes them to be. you realize you might be a 5 star character.

characters: various warning(s): written before 1.6 update

You always had wondered what the traveler meant when they said, “I’m willing to sell feet pics for primos.” You had observed they would cry when they wished on a gold shooting star and receive a rare item the next day. Did they not want a good sword? Would the sword not help them in their quest to find their sibling?

You decided that one day you wanted to ask them about this, but you were always interrupted by their commissions or a certain adventurer (Reckless Pallad). It was strange to see the traveler just look at Reckless Pallad being beat up by hilichurls, and it was even stranger to find them bullying him along with the hilichurls until they exclaim, “Wait, I need friendship points-”

…

The grass of Windrise tickles your arms as you look up at Vennessa’s tree. Crystalflies flutter above you. Your hands lightly graze the wings of the anemo crystalflies until a blonde scares them away. You sit up and stare at the traveler with confusion on your face. The traveler looks at you in shock and runs around you, “I thought you come out at the 1.6 update… Is this a bug? Klee’s re-run hadn’t even come out yet…”

The golden eyes of the traveler widens when you wave at them and motion for them to sit down. They freeze, moving and swiping their hands in the air. “What? I’m not on any character hangouts.. No world quests are activated...” They think out loud to themselves.

Their foreign attire moves through the breeze as they continue moving their hands. They pause and drop their arms, sitting next to you on the grass.

“Traveler,” you greet. “It’s wonderful to see you here. I’ve been meaning to talk to you but I only heard you left for Liyue when you were gone!” You clasp your hands around theirs and you grin. Silence falls onto both of you and you tilt your head sideways, “Are you perhaps feeling a bit unwell?”

You lift one hand to gently touch their forehead to check for a fever, until they disappear like their small, flying companion; stardust replaces their body and you just stare. The place felt empty now when they left, but they came back again at the same spot, but standing.

“Shit I broke the game.”

“A game?” Now you felt like they turned crazy. “Honorary Knight, can you please explain what you mean by that?” This time, instead of sitting, you stand to be eye-level with them. The sky seems to mimic your puzzlement. Dark clouds settle in fast as your brain tries to figure out what The Traveler means.

“Chat, do you see this? As awesome as this cutscene might be, I don’t think I’m supposed to have this until 1.6.”

“Traveler, I’m sorry but what?”

...

“Can you believe it Kaeya? They call me a bug and then say the strangest things like cutscenes and numbers!” You say as you bang your head on the table of Angel’s Share. The wine in your glass spills and you groan, “The first time I speak to them, I try to be nice and they call me a bug! I’m not even that short.”

Kaeya laughs and muses, “Are we talking about the same traveler?” He takes a napkin and swipes the spilled wine off the table. “Because the traveler Mondstadt knows, hardly ever talks, and when they do, they’re polite.”

“I don’t know Kaeya… They once let Pallad by himself with the hilichurls yelling, ‘ That’s for Sucrose, bitch!’ How does Sucrose even have to do anything with that? I don’t even think Pallad heard that ‘cause he never looked over. I feel like I hear all these things that no one else can.”

Kaeya puts his elbows on the table and rests a cheek on the palm of his hand, letting frost dance around his other. His lilac coloured eyes meet your own, “Darling, maybe you should rest for tomorrow. I’ll check up on you once in a while.” He stands and walks behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Come on, let’s go to Good Hunter. A certain red-haired bartender doesn’t seem to like us being here.”

You scoff jokingly, “Huh, it seems it’s just you he dislikes. You never did tell me what happened when I was gone.”

“Just a few bumps on the road,” He waves his hand and clicks his tongue. “Although, I personally believe it’s just the aging getting to him.” The smile on his face shows his jest, but you note his eyes getting dim.

What a perfectly crafted lie.

You wanted to roll your eyes at how he tries hard to leave you in the dark, but you are one of the scholars of Mondstadt. He could’t have thought you were that dumb, did he? Word flies around the city about the hostility between the Cavalry Captain and the Noble Ragnvidr. You even gathered intel from the senior knights and pieced what they said together.

Oh archons. You had to admit, Kaeya is a master of secrecy with lacing small truths in his lies.

The chair screeches and scratches the ground as you sigh and stand up. Diluc looks at the direction of the noise and looks at you, worry painting his eyes. You smile and wave, bringing Kaeya along with you as you leave Angel’s Share.

Going past Flora’s flower shop, you see a familiar face buying thousands of calla lilies. You tug on Kaeya’s sleeve and point to the Traveler who kept muttering, “It’s sweet how Kaeya needs calla lilies to ascend but bro- I’m out of mora now. Uhhh... I'll just farm off from other people's worlds.”

You turn to Kaeya and punch his shoulder lightly, “Kaeya! Did you hear that? Do you even have any idea what they mean?” Finally. A witness to the Traveler’s strange talk. You have so much hope.

Kaeya looks at you with concern and scrunches his brows. “I’m sure you didn’t drink that much. Are you alright? I heard the Traveler speak of nothing.” His fingers gently hold your wrists, “Let’s go say hi to them. Perhaps that might help you clear your thoughts about them.” He leads you to Flora’s shop where the blonde is.

“Ahem!”

Traveler looks at Kaeya and their jaws go slack, but it seems no one notices that but you.

“Honorary Knight, what a pleasure seeing you here. Would you mind accompanying me and (Y/N) here,” Kaeya motions to you. “To Good Hunter? It sure has been a while since I saw you, and I have yet to introduce you to-”

Their conversation is a problem. Everything about their conversation looks scripted from the side, like Kaeya and Traveler couldn’t control what they say, but the Traveler seems fine with this. Kaeya however, did not seem to notice his strict movements of arm crossing and idle movements, flipping the coin in his hand.

“No, this is not normal,” you note in your head. Everyone acts scripted around Traveler. Why is it that no one realizes this themselves?

You need an explanation from Traveler.

[ohheyitsokay]

just us

Pairing: Jack Daniels (Agent Whiskey) x (f) reader

Wordcount: 1.9k

Warnings: discussion of not wanting children, brief mention of trauma (the accident), brief mentions of sex, generally sweet and cozy

Summary: Jack and you both grow into what you want (and don’t want?) for the future

Notes: Okay so this WILL NOT be everyone’s cup of tea - that’s fine. There’s enough breeding kink in this fandom for everyone else, I just wanted to explore... not wanting kids, definitively, and one way that journey could look. Obviously, this is an incredibly personal topic, and there’s no way this one snapshot could possibly be perfect, so please just keep that in mind!

>>

Years ago, you met Jack volunteering with low-income students after school. Your friend, who was running the program, roped you in, and you were glad to have other helpers.

He was surprisingly good with the kids. They loved his accent and his hat and the silly expressions he made. Still, in-between his ridiculous stories, he always pushed them to do their best and was persistent in pursuing their success. Unlike some of the other volunteers, he didn’t seem to have any agenda and his selflessness was contagious, and you told him so. The bus had just left, and you finally had the chance to talk to him- you couldn’t help but be honest.

He shrugged his broad shoulders, watching the kids wave through the windows, even down the road.

“I just want them to get their chance to succeed, ya know?”

You did. Gently, you reached up and squeezed his shoulder, and his brown eyes met yours for the first time.

“Thank you,” you said before leaving to go clean up. You hoped he could hear the sincerity in your voice.

The next time you volunteered at the same time, he stayed back to help you clean. He was silent at first, but then he began to talk to you, asking real questions and giving you real answers.

The friendship grew fast, one of the ones where you could feel in your bones how close you’d be. You moved from laughing with the kids as you gave him the tiniest portion of snack, to him driving you home sometimes.

And for the first few years, the two of you really were the best of friends. Lemonade and long drives together became game nights and movies with groups. You’d help him text when he got too flustered, he reminded you that all men were giant boys sometimes. He told you about his past, about the accident and wanting to heal from that, and what he was working on. You shared the skeletons in your closet, you fears and hopes and dreams. You became each other’s constant, as you grew, always cheering the other one on and sharing just the right words at the right time.

Then, after a long, terrible day, he drove over to your house with pure, kind-hearted intentions and ended up kissing you.

-

“The rest, as they say, is history,” you finished.

Jack’s boss was grinning, along with his wife.

“How adorable!” she cooed, squeezing her husband’s hand.

You and Jack had been together for years now, and recently moved to a small town so he could be closer to his mama. This branch of the statesman was a lot more casual, so you were over at their house with some other couples, barbequing in the backyard. In many ways, you loved the little southern community but it was times like these that you felt like you were pulling teeth.

Jack was so high-profile, and bless his heart, he loved to show you off. It was sweet that his boss let him off early sometimes and the local florist knew your date night, but honestly, people in this town were so invested in your relationship it gave you anxiety. Everyone wanted to hear your story, to be in the know, worst of all: ask about it. So it was unpleasant, but not a surprise when the lady continued, asking, “So how many kids are the two of you going to have?”

Her eyes glimmered with expectation, completely unaware at how you were fighting not to grimace at her intrusion.

Jack looked at you, his hand instinctively finding yours. His thumb rubbed your skin softly, as if he was trying to press his support into you. It worked, in it’s own way, and you collected yourself, smiling because you knew she meant well, and because you had practiced.

When you were younger, if and when it came up, you hadn’t been attracted to the idea of children like some others were. You had thought, or maybe trained yourself to say, maybe someday, but not right now. Because for most people, that was enough. You knew logically, that some did change their minds or grow into it. Sometimes you had hoped that would be you.

Now, you didn’t even offer that, just making a joke and guiding the conversation in a different direction. You played your part well, continuing to chat as you ate, being as delightful and adorable as you always were.

Jack knew, of course he did. After that very first night, when he had kissed you, you had been honest with him. motherhood was not your purpose, passion, or dream. He loved you then, and he loved you now, you reminded yourself. He had loved you through the time you’d talked about it again, when he told you that you were his soulmate. Still, before, you had always left it on the table. Maybe someday, in the future.

He watched you closely, watched your eyes when you laughed at the questions, felt you hand in his when you were in the spotlight.

Jack adored you with every fiber of his being. He loved waking up with you in his arms, and falling asleep to the rhythm of your heart. He liked the way your eyes met his and spoke volumes, and how you knew what he was going to say and let him say it anyway. Sometimes he thought he would stop time itself if it would keep you from being hurt.

So now, he shifted closer and closer to you, invading your space until he could share his warmth with you. Your hands left each others so he could wrap his arm around you, and he tried his best to use himself to make a little safe haven for you. He would do anything to create a bubble so you could breathe.

Your eyes found his, and you leaned into his warmth. No words were offered but he knew he had done a good job when he could feel some tension slide off your shoulders.

Still, over the next few days, the conversation haunted you. It felt like a pin, pricking your mind and heart in quiet moments. You ignored it, what else could you do? It was a familiar feeling, and you knew sooner or later, it would go away. After all this time, hadn’t you made your peace with it?

It was almost completely gone, one night, as you lay with Jack, skin to skin under the sheets. He’d be silent for awhile, in what you could only assume was one of his rare, post-sex dazes. He murmured again and again how much he loved you before it faded off and he had settled for holding you close.

“Sweetheart?” he said suddenly, pulling your attention back to him.

“Yeah, Jack?”

“One of our friends from home is pregnant, I forgot to tell you she called yesterday.”

You felt liked the world was spinning. Why was be bring this up right now?

Somewhere far away, you heard yourself make a happy noise and say that was exciting for them.

Your lover’s warm arm pulled you closer, back onto his chest.

“That’s gonna be one helluva cute baby,” he added. You agreed, but had no idea what to do or say.

Was he trying to tell you he was thinking about kids? About babies?! You were full on panicking now.

Had this, plus the questions from before finally pushed him to reconsider? 

“I’ve… darlin’, I’ve been thinking a lot about kids lately,” he whispered into your hair. There was something about his tone you didn’t recognize. You were tense, unable to move away, respond, be normal at all. Of course, he noticed.

Jack half sat up, moving you so he could face you, his arms still holding onto you with purpose.

“Wait- shoot, dang it, I should’ve said that differently,” his eyes were boring into yours. The whole time you’d known him, you hadn’t been able to look away from him when he was baring his heart for you like this. This was Jack. He has never, would never hurt you. You trusted him with your whole life.

Several deep breathes and a quick kiss allowed your heart to calm, and you eyes told him it was okay for him to go on.

“I have been, sweetheart, but not like… that, I – well, I,” he seemed to be struggling, the tiny lines between his eyebrows deepening. You waited, hands finding his skin and mimicking the comforting movements he always did on you. All the while you were reminding yourself that listening to him would always be better than interrupting or assuming.

“I just wanted to tell you, the longer we’re together, how much I like it,” he said, finally, words rushing out of him, “How the more I think about it, how much I sort of want it to just stay like that.”

Your heart was racing now for a whole new reason.

“When I think about other people’s kids, they’re cute but… I don’t need one,” he said, and you noticed the more he talked, the more he relaxed, too. “You could be a fantastic mother, I know you could, if you ever want that,” he added, and you smiled, shaking your head just slightly.

“I guess I’m just selfish, love,” he finally seemed to conclude, having pushed and been fully vulnerable with you. He sank down next to you again, saying, “I want you all to myself. I want to take you on adventures and change the world with you and just have you be all mine, all the time.”

You still couldn’t speak. The world wasn’t spinning anymore but it might as well have been upside down. All your fears - that he was hoping you’d just change your mind, that you were holding him back – were wrong. On his own terms, in his own way, and in his own heart Jack Daniels had flipped to the same page as you.

Never in your life had you expected this, even considered this a possible outcome. It was almost too good to be true.

You had to ask, just one more thing.

“Jack, what about…” you swallowed, clinging to him. “What about… before?” You didn’t need to explain. What about her, and his son? Before the accident? What about the time you’d met, and he was pouring into the futures of children?

Jack was still for one heartbeat, two, and three. Then his hand moved from your waist to touch your cheek, his large palm enveloping it. You hadn’t realized there was a tear until he brushed it away with his thumb. There was tenderness in his eyes as he held you.

“Just us,” he whispered, before kissing you, “that’s all I need.” His eyes were honest, and for the first time in your life, you felt fully seen. 

“Just us,” you said back, as vulnerable as he was.

The two of you held each other then, basking in the moment of pure, raw love. You allowed yourself to sink fully into the mattress, pressing together like you were just falling for each other for the first time. In some ways, you were. Everyone has a different story, and you two had just written another chapter in yours. Jack laughed then, a beautiful, free, almost giddy sound.

Relief had sunk into your bones, the two of you finding something in each other that you’d never had before. The feeling you’d had when you first met - the one that sunk into your bones - promising you two would be close, came into your mind. You considered it, realizing it was more than right, knowing you both before you even knew yourselves.

Jack kissed your hairline, still letting out small burst of quiet laughter. His voice was filled with joy as he asked, “Can we get a dog, though?” and you laughed too.

“Yeah,” you said, and he was kissing you, smile almost too big.

<<

taglist: 

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @0celestialbitch0

[migilini]

What The Heart Wants - Charlie Gillespie

Request: The reader is madly in love with Charlie who is her best friend but he’s dating and in love with her sister yk? Make it angst and sadcharlie

a/n: Sorry it took me so long! I’m so stressed with school atm so i bearly had time to write at all. I still hope you like it and that I went into the right direction. Don’t know how angsty it is.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: a little angst

MASTERLIST

-------------

As a teenager you spent a lot of your free time watching pretty much every rom-com that was out there, the thought of true love ignited a spark of hope in your heart. You loved the way that the characters on screen always were meant to be together, the way their love just seemed to be or else life isn't worth living.

Maybe your image of love was flawed and unrealistic. Maybe you always fell in love with the idea of a person rather than the person itself. Maybe your standards were too high and maybe that's why all your previous relationships didn't seem to work out.

And then you met him. Kinda ironic really, love, at first sight, was always your least favourite trope. But there he was, sitting alone at the table in the otherwise crowded cafeteria. His brown hair fell into his eyes while he played with the mashed potatoes on his plate, he was bopping his head to something. You took a big breath, collected all your courage that you didn't use growing up and sat down across from him.

The stranger looked up with furrowed eyebrows "S-sorry there isn't another free table." you stuttered and sent him a small, flustered smile. The boy took out an earbud "Sorry?" you started to blush, your eyes wide "Oh I- sorry I- was uhm... is it okay if I sit here?"

"Yeah yeah sure." the stranger answered and shot you a smile and gosh was that smile beautiful. If this was your way to die then so be it. "I'm Asher by the way."

"Y/N. Nice to meet you." you waved with three fingers.

After that Asher took you under his wings, introduced you to all his friends, took you to parties and most importantly helped to grow your self-confidence. You always knew who you were but with him, it was the first time where you could actually show off the real you, there wasn't a part of you that you had to hide to fit in.

Nevertheless, he wasn't your best friend. You two spent a lot of time together yes, but you didn't share a lot of secrets, your topics always being superficial. Yet, the crush on him only grew. The two of you were picture book perfect. Asher threw you into the water at the beach, screamed to lyrics in the car with you or even went shopping with you.

"Just this one party I promise," he whined one day, shoving more dresses in your chest. You huffed "Is this why you agreed to come thrifting with me? To get on my good side?" Asher smiled cheekily "Guilty. I know you don't know the people there but I really want you to go." he tried to persuade.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, trying to hide the smirk on your lips. You liked to see him throw a little tantrum. "Fine. But you'll pay for my dress."

The host of the party seemed nice enough and you hoped to god that the guests were the same. LED Lights illuminated the living room in a dark purple. The music blaring so loud, that you could feel the beat in your heart. "Y/N this is my good buddy Charlie. Charlie this is Y/N one of the baddest people I know." Asher screamed over the music, one of his arms draped over your figure. The party just getting started as more people walked through the front door.

You gave Charlie a hug and smiled up at him. "Hi!"

"Hello." he smiled back and your breath got stuck in your throat for a good second. Suddenly Asher had competition for the prettiest smile in the world. The boy with the mischievous spark in his eye really challenged your rankings.

You didn't intend to spend the night practically glued to Charlies hip. Asher was nowhere to be found, probably smoking somewhere with his buddies and the two of you were just naturally drawn to each other. He goes to get a new drink and a minute later, without discussing it beforehand, you do the exact same thing. Or you go on the small balcony to get some fresh air and Charlie joins you a couple of minutes later, casually leaning against the railing next to you.

"I figured that I would find you out here." he nearly whispered into the night. "Yeah it seems like you've been stalking me the whole night." you teased with raised eyebrows, a slight smirk playing on your lips. Charlie's hand immediately covered his heart. "I would never! And there I was, thinking I had the honour of you stalking me."

"Alright, Teds. If it makes you happy yes of course I was chasing after your pretty ass." you winked and he let out a heartful laugh.

"Teds?" he asked.

You shrugged your shoulders and slid down the railing, your front, facing the glass doors. The party inside was raging, with people dancing, kissing, talking and laughing. Only the faint noise of the newest pop song carried its way out to you.

"You're wearing a shirt with many teddy bears on it. It only made sense."

You and Charlie spent the rest of the night outside, the conversation flowing naturally and if there was a quick silence it wasn't awkward at all. Lucky for you, the party was in the middle of the summer so you didn't mind that much that you forgot to bring a jacket outside.

After the party you and Charlie spent a lot of time together, going to museums, road trips, camping or even just hanging out in one of your apartments. Inert weeks he was your best friend and over the years of friendship, you started to develop feelings for the Canadian.

He had helped you calm down right before your first date with Asher, who finally had the guts to ask you out and picked up the pieces after you got broken up with. Asher's last words before he left, never leaving your mind: "Truthfully I think you're in love with someone else Y/N. You just haven't figured it out yet but I know. I look at you the way you look at them."

Several months later, on a trip with your family and Charlie, you realised that Asher was indeed telling you the truth and you had been slowly falling for someone else.

It was late evening, the stars started to creep up on the sky, while the sun sank lower and lower behind the trees, illuminating the world in a pretty blend of oranges and pinks. The group sat around a small fire that cracked every now and then, filling the air with warmth. Everybody was exhausted from the big hike. Trees rustled somewhere in the background. A soft melody caught you off guard, completely ripping you out of your own thoughts.

Charlie sat a couple of feet away from you, across from your sister and mother. He was playing his guitar with no special song in mind. He settled on a melody that you didn't seem to recognize but you didn't care. Charlie looked beautiful.

Over the last year, he grew out his hair, which was now in a loose bun in the crook of his neck, some stray hairs falling in his face. The warm light from the fire highlighted his features in the exact right way. His eyes sparkled with joy. Before he started to sing the song, he looked over at you and smiled. It was the same smile that haunted you since then. The one that made your heart beat faster, the one that still took your breath away, the thing you couldn't shake off and also the one thing you couldn't live without.

While you stared at Charlie during the duration of the song, your heart swelling at the sight of him. He did the same to your sister. His eyes memorising every crook of her face from her arched eyebrows down to the roundness of her lips.

It didn't surprise you at all. Growing up everybody either wanted to be her or be with her. She was naturally gorgeous with long, luscious hair and an amazing body. She had decent grades and was always nice to everybody. The embodiment of the girl next door. It was hard to build a reputation that wasn't ‘Sam’s little sister’.

Looking back, that was probably why you liked Asher's attention so much. It was the first time someone saw you for yourself.

But what did shock you was that eventually, the two became a couple. Looks-wise they fit perfectly together that much was true but you couldn't wrap your head around them when it came to personality. From your romcoms, you knew that opposites attract yet Sam and Charlie are more than opposites. Not to say that you didn't love your sister, you really did, that was the main reason why the news shocked you so much. He liked to travel the world, not to be tied to one place for a long time. He was spontaneous and carefree, always down for a new adventure or a new adrenaline kick. Sam on the other hand wanted to take over dad's business in her hometown where she already went to school and college. Ever since she was little, she dreamed of a big family that was gonna grow up in the house she grew up in. Sam didn't like leaving her little bubble, her days always planned down to the second.

Neither of them noticed your heart breaking a little more every time they kissed right in front of you or the longing looks you gave Charlie. Both tried to include you in their adventures, taking you to the cinema with them, to IKEA and Disneyland. Still, you couldn't shake the feeling that they weren't quite meant for each other. However, you kept your mouth shut just, always smiling their way, not mentioning that Charlie never went on Road Trips anymore or that Sam seemed to smile less.

“I think I want to marry her.”

You nearly spat out your drink, the fist in front of your mouth only holding back a little. The water dripped down your arm and onto the couch.

“What now?” you coughed and turned to the other person chilling at your apartment.

“You heard me right. My acting career is taking off and all the travelling made me realise that she is the one.” he smiled with a lopsided grin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, desperately trying to hide the hurt that flashed in your eyes. After trying, again and again, to get over Charlie you lost all hope. No other man even slightly compared to him, you tried to forget about him you really did. However, your heart believes that he was the man for you.

“Don’t the two of you want completely different things?” you switched into the best-friend mode, locking the jealous side away.

Now it was Charlie's turn to be confused, “What do you mean? We’ve been together for nearly two years now.”

“I just mean that she never expressed the desire to travel the world. She wants to have a big family and be a mom. Is she gonna travel to your jobs with you? Are you giving up your career to be at home with her? I just think there are so many things the two of you need to discuss before you take this step.” you expressed your concern while playing with the hem of the blanket covering you.

He stared at you for moments. Neither of you was speaking, the gears in his brain working in overload.

“Look I’m not saying that you shouldn't ask her to marry you. If that's what makes you happy, be happy. It's what I care about. I’m just saying you have a completely different view of the world.” you rambled, your eyes not meeting his anymore.

Was he mad? He normally spoke his thoughts out loud.

He lets out a sigh as he rubbed his hands over his face “Yes I know that you're right...but my gut is telling me that she's the one...” your heart cracked “and I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't ask, even if it ends up not working and you were right with your concerns. But knowing us, we will make it work. Compromise a lot, build a worldview together as a married couple.”

He smiled at you and your heartbeat quickened “I also kinda need your blessing.” he sheepishly said, slightly biting his lip.

You tried to keep your thoughts clear. “My blessing?”

Charlie nodded excitedly “Yes! I figured since you’re my best friend and she's also your sister I would ask you if you would be okay with that… I know we never asked if you're comfortable with us dating in the first place.”

“Oh, Teds," you whined, using the old nickname you had for him. "No need to ask me! As I said your happiness is my priority.” you smiled so wide that it hurt your cheeks, blinking rapidly to dissolve the tears that formed in your eyes.

He tackled you in a bone-crushing hug, placing wet and sloppy kisses all over your forehead. “Thank you. thank you. thank you! You don't know how much this means to me!”

Growing up, watching the Notebook, About Time, 10 things to hate about you, PS: I love you and many others, love always seemed inevitable, somehow it would work out. You would've never thought that you would be jealous of your sister's engagement. Who would have predicted that both sisters were gonna fall for the same guy, that one sister was happy while the other hated herself for yearning for him as well?

The 25-year-old version of you despised the 15-year-old version for loving these goddamn rooms, for believing in a soulmate, one true love, love for everyone but mostly for believing in an own happy ending.

------------------------

Taglist: @alluringworld

[devoidwrites]

Summary - Your friend decided to drag you to a party a friend of hers was throwing. There you met Jun, who wasn't too much of a party person either. The two of you decide to skip out and it turns out to be a fun night.

Words: 2.2K

Warnings: none

"Do you wanna get out of here?"

-

"I'm not going Yerin!" You tried to pull away from your best friend, but there was no way she was letting you out of this one alive.

"You've been cooped up in your dorm for the passed two weeks y/n! You have to get out an associate with people!" She argued her case as she continued to pull you alongside the sidewalk. She had taken it upon herself to put you in clothing far too tight and drag you from your shared dorm room on a chilly Friday afternoon, barely getting out the words 'party' and 'cute guys' before pulling you out the door.

"I do associate with people!" You countered, huffing as you were finally able to pull yourself away from her grip. Yerin stopped walking, turning to make sure you weren't going to make a run for it. You knew better. If you did that you would never hear the end of it, so you decided to brave through this, for her sake that is.

Yerin rolled her eyes before turning to walk once more, making sure you were following after her. "Being paired up with random people in your introduction to psychology class does not count."

"I talk to you!"

"Barely, and we're roommates!" She reminded you with a scoff. "Do I need to remind you that I'm the one that started this friendship. If it weren't for me you'd be stuck back in the dorm with your nose in a book."

"So I'm guessing it's too late to back out of the best friend deal then?" You questioned, obviously joking. Yerin laughed sarcastically before squealing excitedly and pointing towards the building in front of you. You two had arrived at the party, which was in full swing.

You sighed before following your friend into the house filled with sweaty college kids. Something about being surrounded by drunk people doing drugs and acting like fools just never felt right to you. You would much rather be home watching tv or reading a book. You would rather do anything else over having to push through hormonal young adults grinding on one another just to get to an area where you could breathe.

Yerin handed you a drink as soon as you made it to the kitchen. "What is this?"

"I don't know, but it's free alcohol, so drink up!"

You couldn't believe you were friends with someone so outgoing and trusting. You knew it was a rule for a young woman to never leave a drink unattended, but here was your best friend, drinking the first thing she was handed. It just didn't make any sense.

"Do you wanna dance?"

"No thanks, I'm gonna go sit by the pool." You told her. Once she made sure you would be fine by yourself, she made her way onto the dance floor, instantly finding someone to dance with. It was a perk of hers, she never met a stranger. Then again, that wouldn't always be a good thing.

You tore your eyes away from your friend and made you way to the backyard, where the pool was. It wasn't an ideal situation, sitting around and watching people hump on each other in the pool, but hey, at least you could breathe out here.

It's what you always did when you were dragged to a party. You found a nice spot to sit until Yerin was ready to leave. Of course you could always leave her, but what if something happened after you left? You would never forgive yourself. It's the only reason you ever stayed at these damned parties.

"Not a party goer?" A voice spoke up from beside you, making you jump slightly. You turned your eyes away from your phone to look up, catching the stare of the boy beside you.

You could say he was handsome, but that would be an understatement. The way his straight brown hair cascaded down his face made his jawline pop, and his bright eyes shone in the twinkling lights above you. He gave you a sweet smile before clearing his throat.

You blinked, quickly turning away to hide your tinted cheeks. You were staring at him like a shocked little girl! "Oh yeah, being surrounded by a bunch of drunk hormonal college students is always a thrill!"

"Ah, sarcasm. I like it." He sat back in his seat. "I'm Jun."

"Y/n." You introduced yourself, gripping your phone a little tighter in your hands. "Are you not a fan of parties either?"

"They're alright, but I'd rather spend my time elsewhere." He told you before taking a sip of his drink.

"Then why are you here?" You couldn't help but ask. You had surprised yourself really. Normally, you wouldn't strike up a conversation with someone so naturally, but something about him made it easy. He had a nice vibe to him, and yours seemed to match easily.

"My friends dragged me here." He pointed over to a group of boys towards the pool. One of them did a back flip off the diving board, interrupting the couples make out session making the others laugh. "I figured I'd come just to make sure they didn't set the place on fire or something. What about you? Why are you here if you don't enjoy this type of scene?"

"Well, my roommate decided I needed to associate more with people, so she dragged me here and left to go dance with a stranger." Now that you said it out loud, it sounded somewhat depressing. She had just left you when she was the one to drag you here in the first place. You couldn't blame her though. She was trying to get you to open up, but it obviously wasn't easy.

"Sounds fun." He sat up straighter in his seat, his face more serious now. He glanced around, his eyes glancing everywhere before they finally landed on you. "Do you wanna get out of here?"

You blinked again, taken back by the question. This guy was brazen to ask you to just up and leave with him when you didn't even know his family name yet. "What?"

"Do you wanna get out of here?" He questioned once more, only this time he turned to look at you fully, his gaze capturing your own. "Let's escape the party and find something more fun for the both of us?"

"We literally just met." You reminded him, pointing a finger in his direction. "How do I know you're not some creep who's gonna kidnap me?"

It was a good thing to be cautious, but then again if you did something as crazy as go off with a random guy you met at a party Yerin would leave you alone for at least a week.

Your words made the boy chuckle. Jun slid a hand through his hair. "Do I seem like the type to want to kidnap you?"

"Nobody thought Ted Bundy looked like a killer." You informed him matter-of-factly, but your words only made a small smirk grow on his lips. "But he got his victims because he was attractive."

"Are you saying I'm attractive?"

"I-" You sighed, knowing you were caught in your own words. You then caught sight of your friend grinding on another random boy, which brought you back to reality. You couldn't believe you were even thinking about leaving with a random boy you had just met. "I'm sorry, but I can't leave my friend alone."

"Y/n!" A voice called out happily. You turned your eyes to meet Yerin, who had obviously had more to drink since you departed from her. "This is Wonwoo. I'm going to his place!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" You questioned, standing up to give your friend a questioning glance. You felt Jun stand up as well. He leaned over to whisper in your ear.

"You have nothing to worry about, Wonwoo wouldn't hurt a fly."

You turned around to look at him with an arched eyebrow. "You know him?"

"He's my roommate." His face morphed into a look a disgust as he realized what this meant. "Which means I have to find a place to go tonight."

"Who's this?" Yerin asked, giving you a drunken smile.

"Uh- this is Jun. You told me to associate more right?"

Yerin nodded as she leaned closer to your ear. "He's cute."

Rolling your eyes, you pushed her off of you. After fixing your shirt, you turned back around to talk to Yerin, but she and Wonwoo were already making their way through the mass of people still partying. You sighed, turning back to the brunet boy, who was smiling hopefully at you.

Now you had no reason to deny his offer of a spontaneous adventure with him, not unless you just didn't want to that is. You sighed, unbelief settling in that you were about to do something so crazy.

"Okay, let's get out of here."

-

"You suck at this!"

"It's not my fault my hand slipped!" You groaned as you walked back over to the seats the two of you occupied. Jun had brought you to one of the only fun places open this late, which was a bowling alley just down the road.

You had never seen an all night bowling alley before, but the owner informed you that he only stayed open late whenever it's was the weekend. It attracted the drunks and he got money off their drunken antics and it gave the teens something to do on their nights off from school. It was a smart move, actually.

"Let me show you how it's done." Jun was confident, something you weren't, unless it was about your studies. You knew you were smart, and you weren't afraid to announce it to whoever.

He waltzed over to the ball rack and picked up the yellow bowling ball he had been using the past hour you two had been here. He stepped up to the line and reeled his arm back before swinging it forward, letting the ball speed down the middle of the alley, hitting the middle pin and giving him a strike.

You clapped, laughing as he did a dance. "I admit, you're better than me."

"Why thank you!" He bowed over dramatically, making you laugh once more. You were actually having fun with him. It was something about Jun that made it feel like you've known each other for months instead of hours. He was just so lively and outgoing.

You had learned that he wasn't in college anymore, but he lived close by and stayed in contact with his friends he made in college. He always followed them to parties to make sure his friends were okay, and he was usually the designated driver so they wouldn't have to stumble all the way home. He wasn't too much older than you.

He worked at the local cafe, spending his days serving coffee to tired adults and treats to hyperactive children. He was extremely kind, always making sure you were alright at every chance he had. You always made sure to reassure him that you were fine, giving him a sweet smile to sell it.

"Sorry to interrupt your game, but I have to close it down whenever you two are done." The manager informed the two of you, making the smile drop from your lips. Checking the time on your phone, you gasped when you realized in was almost two in the morning.

"We'll try to hurry." Jun told the older man with a smile and a bow. The two of you did as promised and hurried up with your game, finishing just in time.

"I told you I'd win!" Jun boasted as the two of you walked down the sidewalk and towards the college campus. He offered to walk you home, and with it being late you happily accepted.

You chuckled at his happiness for winning a silly game. "I haven't bowled in years."

"Maybe we could do it again some time." He suggested, brining a smile to your lips. It was strange, but you were having a great time. Once you got passed the fact that you barely knew the boy beside you, you were able to have a good time. Perhaps it was the same for Yerin, but different aspects.

The two of you stepped up to the entrance of the girls dorms, meaning your night of innocent fun would be coming to an end. "Surprisingly, I've had a lot of fun tonight."

"Next time time you feel like you want to go on another adventure, call me."

"Is that your way of asking me for a date?" You questioned, cocking an eyebrow at the boy in front of you. He let out a breath before biting his lip and looking down quickly.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Absolutely not." You told him. You leaned forward, taking a daring move to press a soft kiss to his cheek before turning around to walk into the building. "Goodnight Jun."

As you walked towards your dorm, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of happiness. Perhaps Yerin was right after all. It's good to talk to new people every once in a while.

[wherethewordsare]

The Din in the Silence

So this idea came from the amazing @thetinymm who wrote me a fantastic outline and then told me to go nuts. I hope this was what you were looking for darling. <3

It hadn’t been the first time, and Geralt knew it wouldn’t be the last time that they would be nearly violently removed from a village. Jaskier walked beside him, spitting acidic though not completely inaccurate curses the entire time as they made their way back to the main road. 

“The actual fucking nerve of some of these backwood mouth breathing…” Jaskier fumed, pulling his lute round from behind his back as he plucked out a few chords angrily. 

Was that a twig? Geralt’s head turned and he looked, but he couldn’t see anything. 

Jaskier beside him belted furiously over his shoulder the first few lines of “Toss a Coin.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt growled a warning. There was a feeling of being watched crawling up his neck but he couldn’t seem to focus. 

“When the White Wolf fought,” he bit around the word, spinning on his heel. 

“Jask!” There had to be rustling in the forest. Heavy feet but he couldn’t tell where they were. 

“A silver tongued devil.” The notes thumped heavily. Geralt turned just in time when Jaskier turned to face back up the road to see the bandits emerge from the wood, stalking toward them. 

“JASKIER! ENOUGH!” Geralt drew his sword and only had a second to regret the look of fear and hurt that crossed Jaskier’s face before he flew past him, handily disarming and running off the men that were obviously sent to ‘take care of the Witcher problem’. 

Jaskier stood next to Roach, his lute clutched in one hand, his other at the back of his neck. He wouldn’t look at Geralt exactly when he returned, only stepping aside to let him pass and returning his lute to his back. 

Fuck.

-o-O-o-

They had made it into a more accommodating town when Geralt realized why the road felt so strained for the past few days. Only in the safety of the tavern did he realize Jaskier was singing. He tried to think back over the past few days and realized with consternation that Jaskier hadn’t sang at all since the bandits. Not only that, Geralt couldn’t remember him really speaking. 

He frowned, watching Jaskier dance around the room, taking in the bright smile he gave the barmaid and the bawdy shout he gave when the crowd cheered. But there was a tightness to him too that Geralt didn’t care for, along his shoulders and the way his eyes didn’t seek out Geralt like they usually did. 

He just needs to loosen up a little. He’ll be okay once he works out his nerves. I shouldn’t have shouted. Geralt thought, scowling down at the ale in front of him. 

“Hmm… fuck,” he murmured softly. He would have to watch now. Not like he didn’t usually watch Jaskier. 

-o-O-o-

Geralt hated that he had nearly lost track of the times in the following week he had heard Jaskier start to hum and then quickly stop himself. He hated how when he did he’d quickly look up at Geralt then behind them. Around the camp they would set, Jaskier would talk quieter than Geralt had ever remembered him doing. 

The tightness in his chest wasn’t panic. It wasn’t fear that was tearing up his chest; fear that any day now Jaskier would realize how much safer it was to just be anywhere where Geralt wasn’t. 

He had to do something, anything. He cleared his throat and leaned back a little, looking at Jaskier.

“It’s a really clear night tonight. Did you hear that rail back there? Never hear them that close,” he tried. 

Jaskier looked up from where he was scribbling some notes, his teeth painfully sunk into his bottom lip. He looked around, his eyebrows knitting together for a moment before he only nodded, going back to his work. 

Geralt sighed, poking at the fire. He just needs time. It’s only a matter of time, he thought. 

The next day he tried again, opting to walk beside Jaskier, and pointing out over the hills that ran along their left. “That storm is going to get caught up against those mountains. We’ll have decent conditions today and tomorrow, but then we might find us a cave if we don’t come across a village.” 

Jaskier only looked out toward the horizon, squinting. “Ah. Good to know.” And then fell silent again. 

Geralt had never found himself on this end of whatever it was they were and suddenly he had a new appreciation for the trouble he put Jaskier through. But more than that, he realized he missed it; the sound of Jaskier talking openly, his singing, even the bickering. He was beginning to desperately miss the sound of his bard. 

They found a village before the storm blew over, and again, Geralt watched as Jaskier seemed to come back out of the shell he had built around himself. The tightness in his shoulders seemed worse now and when they asked about a room, Jaskier chose to ask for a separate one. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll pay for both,” he said, too quietly, before Geralt could protest. Though even Geralt wasn’t sure what he was about to protest. 

That night he laid awake and listened through the thin walls as he heard Jaskier pluck softly at his lute, his voice raspy and subdued. There was a quality to it that hadn’t been down in the bar that night. The thing that wasn’t fear in his chest reared up and raked painfully against his ribs. 

The ache pushed him up onto his feet and he walked carefully over to the shared door between their rooms, but as he raised his hand to knock, he heard Jaskier make a soft gasping noise and then the unmistakable noise of a lute being quickly put away. 

Geralt pulled back from the door, glowering. He took another step back, his hands rubbing against his thighs as he shifted from one foot to the other. What was he supposed to do? Thinking back on it, Jaskier didn’t smell like fear to him recently. He wasn’t afraid of Geralt was he? That thought alone fed the beast that was now wrapping thick bands around his lungs and it squeezed tighter for it. 

He felt himself deflate slightly as he stepped as lightly as he could back to the door, pressing an ear to it as he slowly slid down to the floor. He closed his eyes and hoped that Jaskier might return to his soft plucking, his half murmured tune. 

He didn’t. Geralt sat through the night in a silence that was nearly deafening. 

The next morning, Geralt waited out front, not quite expecting Jaskier to show. But he did, packed and ready to go. 

He watched as Jaskier gave a warm greeting to the barmaid at the bottom of the step, before turning back to Geralt. There was a smile there but it wasn’t as warm as he remembered Jaskier’s smiles to be. 

“Shall we then, Witcher. Those contracts won’t fill themselves.” It was the most Jaskier had said to him in weeks, but it meant nothing. They were still standing in the safety of an inn. 

“Hmm.” And he tried to pour as much warmth as he could into that one small sound but he was out of practice. 

They walked in near silence for half the day, Geralt making small attempts to point out that they were clear of any danger and that Jaskier could say something, anything, even if it was just to yell at Geralt, he’d give his last Gwent card for a bickering match. 

They stopped at a stream to water Roach. Geralt stood beside her, Jaskier leaning against a tree just on his other side. 

There was a toad beside Roach’s hoof who swelled up and let out a loud croak in warning. Roach was unimpressed and went about her drinking. 

“Reminds me of this bard I used to know.” Geralt says softly. One last play. That’s all he gets. One last try to make things right before he was certain that Jaskier would peel off from him before too long. 

“You know many bards, Witcher?” Jaskier shot back. It was sudden and Geralt turned to see Jaskier looking around, already tucking himself further back against the trunk of the tree. 

He always found himself failing to protect those he cared for, even from himself. 

“Jaskier, why don’t you go home?” He finally said. 

“You- You want me gone?” Jaskier’s eyes were bright with tears that came far too quickly for Geralt to think that they hadn’t been already pressing against the surface. 

“No, Jask. No, I don’t want you to leave.” He was shaking his head, looking back down at the toad that now focused on his boot and made another attempt to be threatening. “You stopped talking, Jaskier. You don’t sing except when we’re in towns and I…” He couldn’t bring himself to look up at Jaskier. 

“I messed up. I was too loud and I nearly got us killed and you-” Geralt had to look up now because how couldn’t he, “you were so angry, Geralt, I thought you were going to just leave me right outside of that backwater heap and be on your merry way without me.” 

“Hmm.” Geralt took a slow step forward. “And in the inn? When you stopped playing in your room?” He had to know. He had to know so that he could stop it from ever happening again. 

“Didn’t want to be a bother,” Jaskier huffed through a wet laugh. “There is no home for me, Geralt. Well… There is, but I thought I almost lost it.” He looked up at Geralt, half a smile not quite reaching his eyes. “Oxenfurt is nice and all, but where’s the adventure in blackboards, chalk dust, and old hacks with too long beards and no imagination left in them? I thought maybe if I tried to stay quiet on the road… you,” Jaskier gulped, wincing slightly, “I thought maybe you wouldn’t leave me behind. I hoped my home… wouldn’t leave me behind.” 

Geralt ran a hand over his face. “Jaskier. Please, please don’t stop singing because of that. Please don’t stop talking,” The tightness around his chest pressed in more, making it hard to talk, hard to breathe. “I… I miss it. I miss the sound of you.” 

He dared to look up and Jaskier was inching terribly close, his hands up as if trying not to spook Geralt. “Oh?”

“I miss the talking and the singing and… I didn’t realize it sounded like home until it stopped.” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He looked down at the ground, his arms over his chest as he silently cursed at himself. 

It started small and then rolled and tumbled and gathered around the edges like a coming storm. Jaskier was laughing, tears streaking down his face as he stepping in closer to Geralt than he had in weeks and he kept crowding in until Geralt had to wrap his arms around him. They stood there for a time, Jaskier pressing his face into Geralt’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and let the feeling of home wash over him. 

When they finally broke apart, Jaskier already had that look that Geralt knew he was going to end up eating his words, but he couldn’t fight the fond warmth that settled in and squashed the fear that had taken root before into nothingness. 

“You like my singing, Geralt.” Jaskier teased, looking at him sidelong with a knowing smile. 

“Fuck.” Geralt chuckled and it was the safest either of them had felt in too long. 

[popculturebuffet]

One Year Anniversary: Top 12 Ducktales Episodes!

Happy anniversary all you happy people! Yes it was one year ago today I started reviewing animation and it’s been a ride to be sure. I’d always WANTED to be a reviewer: I love going on and on about stuff I love, really digging into it and picking it apart... but I could never get started. I tried youtube but I didn’t have the money for the equipment nor a proper shooting space to record, so my efforts.. were not great. And while I TRIED text reviews, my own looming pile of self hatred meant every attempt I made was shot down when it got hard as me not being good enough. 

But one year ago I finally got past that. I’d already been reviewing a bit, doing invididual issues of comics... but got way in over my head trying to do the current line of X-Men comics as it came out, and wisely bowed out of that. But that left a gap: I had nothing to cover week to week and with a demanding new job, I drifted into just doing in charcter chats, little fan fictions script styles. Not bad work, I should do some more at some point and I even got a comissoin once in a while, but nothing I could really live on and not what I wanted to do with my life. 

Enter Ducktales. I’d always WANTED to review the show.. and when the double premire happened, I decided fuck it, and put up my thoughts. And then decided.. hey maybe I can do this every week.. and slowly.. my work evolved, getting better and better, getting more and more likes. I picked up Amphibia when that came by week to week.

And eventually.. this went from a hobby, if one I was passionate about to a career. Not a largely paying one, as only one person was really intrested in paying me for it, friend of the blog and our fincial backer @weirdkev27, but .. it’s money and i’m now making about 30 dollars a month due to a comination of comissions and patreon. Other contributers are always welcome mind you, my patreon is here if your curious and comissions are 5 dollars an episode, but i’ts just nice to have money coming in. To have gone from simply WANTING to review things and make a living off it.. to simply doing it. 

And it’s been one hell of a year.. and not just because 2020 felt like hell or 2021 began with a full on insurrection. I feel like i’ve acomplished a lot in the year i’ve been doing this: I finished what I started with Ducktales season 3, getting better and better as I went. And I didn’t stop there with ducks: I started covering what brought me to Ducks in the first place, the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, and while that retrospective has slid a bit on the schedule, I intend to get it back on track this month. I reviewed a bunch of Darkwing Duck episodes leading up to the Just Us Justice Ducks.. chronologically anyway. The actual airing order reads like someone took 50 issues of a comic, made it rain with them, then just started reading whatever ones they picked up randomly. I also covered some of Duck Master Carl Barks work with the classics Night on Bear Mountain, A Christmas for Shacktown and Back to the Klondike, with more to come. 

And the Duck didn’t stop at just reviews I did on my own: Kev comissioned two MASSIVE retrospectives from me: My first for him was Ride of the Three Caballleros where in just a few short months I covered the boys entire televisied careers together from the movie, to house of mouse, to mickey and the roadster racers, to ducktales (again) and finishing with the wonderful Legend of the Three Caballeros. It has probably the worst Daisy imaginable, but otherwise is really excellent and i’m glad I finally watched it. I also covered Don Rosa’s two stories with the boys as part of it. It was a fun ride and I enjoyed every minute of it... okay most of them again Three Cabs Daisy is the worst. And once that finished Kev started up another idea: Shadow Into Light: a look at Lena’s character arc from start to finish that has gone on to be my most popular series on this blog, and that finishes next week. And there’s more to come as after that there’s a short breather with a look at Lilo and Stitch’s crossover episodes.. folllowed by me looking at all three of season 2′s ducktales arcs. And I fully intend to have covered every episode of the series by this time next year, so stay tuned. 

Outside of ducks though I didn’t slow down. I restarted my Tom Lucitor retrospective, covering what i feel to be one of Star Vs’ two best characters, tied with eclipsa, and my personal faviorite as he redeemeed himself, found love and I bitched a lot about the horrible directions the series took and probabably will more as that’s still not done yet. I did what I always wanted to do and started looks at some of my faviorite comics ever, starting with Life and Times and adding in New X-Men and Scott PIlgrim. I also threw in the awesome comic Blacksad. I did pride month for the first time and not only came out publicly, but also did two whole arcs i’m proud of with The Saluna episodes of Loud house and the rednid episodes of OK KO, and generally just had myself a good old fashioned time as an out bi man reviewing childrens cartoons. 

I started Season 2 of amphibia with it’s lows of an endlesss road trip and highs of adding Marcy to the cast and giving us more of the silky voiced keith david. And finally Patreon wise Kev’s taken me on a hell o fa journey: In addition to the restrospectives i’ve covered some additional darkwing duck, and a simpsons homage to the duck comics... but also got a bit weird and obscure with detours like the lost animnaics sucessor Histeria, the apocalyptic comedy where Santa dosen’t know how doors work Whoops! and the adventures of Santa’s bratty teen daughter jingle belle. In short.. it’s been a long year but damn has it been fun and there’s more to come. I’d like to thank all of you for reading, thank my Patreons Kev and Emma for supporting me, and thank my family for doing the same.  So with that out of the way, I figured the best way to celebrate was to do something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, something honoring the show that gave me this calling in the first place. And with Season 3 sadly being the last, and enough weeks having passed for me to digest it between the finale and today, I could think of nothing better than my top 12 episodes of Ducktales.

Ducktales is one of the best cartoons of the 2010′s. Brilliantly taking EVERYTHING that had come before, the comics, the original cartoon and every bit of duck media period to craft a masterful, unique and wonderful reboot. It was funny, it was insane, and it had damn good character arcs. By the end every member of the main cast along with major supporting cast members like Fenton, Drake and especially Lena, had changed and signifigantly at that. The show was everything I could’ve dreamed of and more and I miss it terribly, hoping DIsney will do a revivial movie at some point. For now though, Frank and Matt’s run on ducktales, as they called it and I do too since i’m a massive comic book nerd, it’s time to look back on my favorite tales of ducks. So grab your sharks, your number one dimes and your friendship cakes with clear gay undertones and join me under the cut as I celebrate one of my faviorite shows and my anniversary in the best way possible. 

12. House of the Lucky Gander! 

 So as i’ve gone on about before and no doubt will again, Donald kinda got the short end of the stick in season 1. While Frank and Matt had good story intentions, keeping Donald away from adventure since he had no interest in it, in practice it meant a beloved Disney Icon who they and disney HEAVILY promoted as part of the series and whose being here this go round was a big draw for fans of the comics.... was only in a quarter of the season and only got TWO plots centered around him in 23 episodes, with only one being the main plot of the episode. The PIlot and Finale both centered around the family more as a whole if your curious how I counted those so while he got plenty of focus in both, it’s still not a day in the limelight sort of thing. 

But unusually for Donald, he lucked out as his one big starring role for Season 1 was both one of my faviorites and one of Season 1′s most inventive outings.  A lot of the episodes enegy comes from a one two punch of a great guest star and one of the series best settings. The guest star is of course everyone’s faviorite overly lucky himbo Gladstone Gander. The show adapted the prick perfectly: The original Gladstone from the comics.. was the worst asshole imaginable, utterly insufferable. And for a villian, and Donald’s rival, that’s all well and good.. but his super luck meant he RARELY , if ever, suffered any consequences for being just...

The 87 series simply made him nicer, while Going Quackers simply removed his luck. No adaptation really got how to make this fucker work.. until this one. Here Frank split the diffrence: Gladstone is still smug.. but he’s no longer actively malicious. While he is an insensitive prick to Donald in this one, unlike the comics he’s not constantly bragging about his luck or how great he is or actively BAITING Donald to fight with him or trying to ruin his relationship or a million other reasons he sucks and I hate him.

This version by contrast... is generous. He’s not the most empathetic, because he doesn’t get how life works, but he does share the riches of the casnio with everyone and in a cameo appearance in “Treasure of the Found Lamp” gladly offers his nephews some diamonds. He’s got a nice surface level charm to him that makes you understand why people like him.. but it’s also clear ther’es nothing UNDER that of value, making you equally understand why Scrooge and Donald hate him. Gladstone in this reboot is a perfect example of why we need reboots or new adaptations in the first place: Because sometimes the original got something wrong or something can be done much better by the new writers. 

He’s perfectly paired with the setting: The House of Lucky Fortune, a mystical casino with an East Asian astatic based in the country of Macaw and provides two great plots. Donald’s really highlights his character: His understandable jealousy at gladstone earning the boys love through nothing while he struggles to make a living for them, and how he feels like a looser and like Gladstone is simply showing that off instead of just not knowing what empathy is. Having Louie be the one to bond with Gladstone was also just pitch pefefct, as is showing some depth for the boy by having himr ealize his hero is an asshole and be the one to help donald in the end. 

The other plot is just pure joy though and is where the setting REALLY shines: Scrooge and the rest of the kids try to leave.. but can’t find the exit. This is where the creative part comes in: The Casino simply morphs to keep people trapped, and caters to them, giving them whatever they want to keep them trapped. In the cases of the kids it’s all hilarious and adorably in character: Huey becomes entranced by a fancy water show, in one of his best bits of the season, Dewey gets a pet tiger who sadly did not come home with him and Webby gets to live the dream we’ve all had of stuffing her face directly in a choclate fountain. Scrooge’s escape is likewise clever: He simply prepares to get a room.. then books it as the check in desk is ALWAYS near the front. 

We then find out Gladston’es trapped get the whole mystical contest with absolutely gorgeous animation, i’ll talk about it in full some time but this episode is just a treat to watch, has a great arc for donald and had some memorable gags. I can’t help but smile when I watch it. 

11. The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!  As I mentioned before i’m a superhero nerd so naturally Fenton was one of my faviorite parts of the show. Frank and Matt were just damn good at crafting superhero stories, and like gladstone improved fenton turning him from an awkward donald stand in to an awkward peter parker-esque science nerd who just wants to be a good person and the best hero he can be. He got into science not just because he thinks it’s neat, but because he honestly wants to help people and you can’t help but foot for him whenever he pops up. Lin Manuel Miranda is a large reason for that, bringing his incomparable a-game to the character. While we sadly didn’t get a ton of gizmoduck focused episodes, the fatct we got AS MANY as we did and that Lin didn’t drop out for a minute even with his busy schedule was a miracle and I’m acknowledging that. 

As for why this one, I feel it builds brilliantly on the previous Fentoncentric episode Who Is Gizmoduck?! which just BARELY didn’t make this list and uses the fact we haven’t seen fenton in a while as both a plot point and to move some things forward without having to spend screentime they clearly didn’t have. By having Fenton be just burnt out on superheroics it finds a way to both explain where he’s been, he’s been busy with his new job, and give us an interesting angle to the old “superhero is tired of the life” thing. He never once complains about saving people or stuff... it’s just like any job it gets tiring after a while. As someone who has his dream job but has struggled with it from time to time, I vastly relate. 

Though while I love my boy and Lin is game as always, the episodes real MVP is my other boy Huey. The episode has moved Huey up from being simply Fenton’s fanboy to being his best friend, and adorable as hell relationship. The two clearly respect and appricate each other and Huey is looking out for his buddy the whole episode. His love of love is also just really cute. Added in the mix is Webby, who in one of my faviorite gags of the series, finds out Fenton is  Gizmoduck because Huey is incredibly and insanely blatant with his unecessary coverup. But she of course is game to help while Fenton is trying to play it casual. We also just get a waterfall of great gags as everyone overdoes it wingmanning for fenton: Huey sets up an itallian bistro and tries to purposfully create a lady and the tramp situation, and sings opera (With Manny on acordian), the wonderfully 80′s suit from Fenton’s dad his mom gives him to wear, and Launchpad, who gives us a tremendous list of his exes, and plays my favorite song of the series: It’s a Date, a micheal mcdonnel riff. 

This episode also wisely ups Mark’s Beaks game as Fenton’s arch enemy, still keeping him hilaroius, with the guy acting like a bored teenager and guzzling so much nanite jucie he turns into a hulk, as well as said hulk mode leading to a ton of great gags from kidnapping the children (”I got your kids.. are they your kids? I don’t know how this family works), to “take that coach dad” to eating a pie with tins and all and wondering about said tins. But he’s an actual threat now, taking on fenton in one hell of a fight, and having an utterly transcendent scene where he hacks his way past gyro’s security while dancing.. and dabbing because of course he does. It’s a fun, well done character piece that’s mostly here for i’ts laugh but Fenton’s struggle with Gizmo overtaking his life, and finding out someone he truly hit it off iwth only wanted him for that.. it’s really good stuff and Lin’s delivery after Fenton finds out, the pure pain and betryal in his voice, is just excellent. Also that opera scene is poetry. 

10. Quack Pack!

One of the episodes that started my career naturally landed here. Not for that reason though: Quack Pack is a fun riff on sitcoms, specifically the tgif ones of the 90′s that Disney Afternoon Kids no doubt also watched, the kinds Disney Channel still makes today, and most importanly the kind the Disney Afternoon itself made like Goof Troop and well... Quack Pack. 

Riffs on sitcoms are nothing new and the last year has been FULL of them. 2020 gave us this episode, Beef House and the wonderful “The Perfect House” episode of Close Enough, and this year gave us WandaVision, my second favorite MCU project so far, right behind Black Panther, which used the sitcom deconstruction to create one hell of a character study. 

So you’d think with a year having passed and this concept happening as an entire mini series would dull this one.. but no. it’s still damn funny, having fun at the cliches while, again like WandaVision, having one of the main cast be responsible by accident but go along with it. The episode pivots from glorious affectionate parody of cheesy sitcoms, to that plus horrifying “Humans”, and a character piece for Donald. This brings Donald’s hatred and fed up ness with adventure to a head revealing his fondest wish is just to have a normal life and not loose anyone again. 

It takes one of his best friends to snap him out of it. Look Goofy is my second faviorite of the sensational seven, an episode with him was already an easy sell for me.. but the episode uses him really well. First for laughs as he’s gentically dispositioned to be a perfect sitcom neighbor.. but also for heart. With his family preoccupied and a bit hurt, i’ts Goofy who cuts to the heart of the issue, pointing out NO ONE is normal and even his normal domestic life raising Max, who we see go to prom with roxanne eeeeee, has all sorts of chaos. Normal is what you make of it and pining for some ideal that will never happen was just tearing donald apart piece by piece and by letting go of that.. he finally begins to grow as a person throughout the season. It’s also a great thematic tie in to the season’s overall plot with Bradford and what Makes donald, despite also disliking the chaos his family gets into, different. Donald accepted it and grew as a person.. Bradford clung to his hate and it ate him alive. Or turned him into a non-sapient kind of vulture. Before I close this part out Jaleel White is also excellent and I wish eh’d get back into voice acting. He’s so freaking good at it. Seriously man i’d love to see him and ben in a sonic property together as a mythology gag. Same with Jims cummings and carey. Just think about it whoever owns the sonic movies.. think about it. 

9. The Last Adventure!

Look I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming. But it had to be on here. The Last Adventure is not perfect: The lack of a build up episode like the previous two finales had really hurt this one: even at about 70 minutes, it still feels rushed in places and Huey, one of hte main characters of the season, dosen’t feel like he has a full payoff to his character like Dewey and Louie got. 

But despite those flaws.. this episode is just a damn good ending. Almost everyone gets a big moment paying off their character arc, everyone in the party that comes to rescue webby and huey, along with the two themselves, gets a moment to show off, and everything comes together to give us one last epic sendoff. There’s just moment stacked on moment stacked on moment from Launchpads heroic second wind and donning of the gizmoduck armor, to Webby’s tearful confrontation with Beakley, to Huey using the greatest adventure of all line to foil bradford in one of the most deligfhully nuts moments of the series, I could go on for days with just how triumphant this finale felt. While it left a lot of doors open.. that feels like part of the design. It’s the end of the fight with FOWL.. but our heroes will never stop adventuring, never stop going and never stop being in our hearts and the curtain call at the end is now my faviorite bit of end credits ever, perfectly giving the main cast and friends one last chance to take a bow in their own unique ways. I will always miss this show but I will never be disapointed by the note it went out on. 

8. The 87 Cent Solution!

Look some episodes are show stoppers, some are heartfelt tearjerkers, some are all this and more.. and some episodes are just clever and hilarious. The 87 Solution is the second funniest episode of Ducktales with me and my go to episode when watching the show. It’s just pure fun and with a clever premise: Scrooge notices 87 cents have gone missing, and already coming down with a cold, goes mad with paranoia as the kids slowly don face masks, something that has become even eeerier given everything, one by one realizing he needs to stop. 

While David Tennant is an EXCELLENT dramatic actor, his comedy timing is really something that shoudln’t be ignored and i’ts on full display here as his performance gets more and more deranged, to thep oint he thinks an 8th dimensional imp is repsonsible. He nicely balances the disturbing side of Scrooge’s paranoia, his distancing from his family, with plenty of great gags about it too, the standout being when he offers 2 million dollars to whoever took the money like he’s publicly appeasing kidnappers. It’s fucking brilliant. 

But while David is awesome as ever what really, truly makes the episode is my boy, one of my faviorite characters on the show if not my single faviriote FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Keith Ferguson is ALWAYS a dream as the character but this is his best performance by far. Part of this is the addition of Zan Owlson, Kev who I mentioned earlier’s faviorite Ducktales character. She’s not only throughly likeable in her own right, but provides the one thing Flinty was missing; a straight man.. or woman in this case. Scrooge wasn’t TERRIBLE in the roll, but can easily step away from his shit or foil it. Owlson has to put up with Glomgold’s nonsense while desperatly trying to stop him from undoing all her hard work with sheer force of jackass. The two jut play off each other brilliantly, Glomgold not getting sh’es not his employee but his equal and Owlson constnatly snarking at him. 

And of course both things hit their peak in the climax with the family staging a fake funeral (Though no one told donald it was fake), and we get the funniest scene in the entire fucking show as Glomgold burts in in a white suit, money shades and full dance number to “All I Do Is Win’, which when first watching this I was convinced the song was somehow accidnetly on in the background but nope. They got it after using it in the test phase and the scene is better for it. Glomgold twerking on Scrooge’s casket, trying to get on it to dance, and having to be placated like ac hild is the icing on this very rich cake

And the reveal scene is also gold as Glomgold gets into a YEARLONG staring contest with a baby, fails to steal more than the 87 cents and, in my faviorite touch, put on an imp costume just to make scrooge seem crazier... then keeps the damn thing on the rest of the time for no explicable reason. The episode is the show at it’s comedic peak while giving Glomgold a chance to be a genuine threat and that’s Glomgood. 

7. Let’s Get Dangerous!

Frank’s Rebooted Version of Darkwing Duck is probably his greatest achivment with the show. While this show is a team effort, something I slowly realized as I reviewed the show, it’s very clear from the way he talks, how well he knows the show and how much effort was put into porting Darkwing into the reboot that this was his baby. While redefining ducktales for the 2010′s was clearly a huge dream of his... doing the same for the master of suprise was an even bigger goal. And as a huge fan of superheroes i’ve seen my fair share of half assed takes on laired and complex characters. The XCU alone is one giant grab bag of missed opportunities for me. 

So i’ts no exageration when I tell you Frank.. nailed it. In one of the most brilliant moves i’ve seen for a superhero work Frank worked his love of the show into the reboot.. by having Darkwing have been a show, one Launchpad loved.. and so did Drake, who was inspried by the show to become an inspriation himself and while his attempt to do that through a zack snydery reboot failed, Launchpad encouraged him to do it for real. Drake was still himself, but the meta aspect and the toning down of some of darkwing’s more obnoxious traits that didn’t work in a universe that, while patently rediciulous still took it’s characters seriously, he made a BETTER version of the character.

This is where all that comes to it’s peak, and hoppefully convinced Disney to let Frank , and possibly matt, run the reboot. And no, even if Point Grey is producing that dosen’t stop that: Thanks to Invincible i’ve now realized that Seth and his friend Evan producing the show dosen’t mean it’ll be RAN by them, nor unrelated to this. It just means their helping make it and if anything given how lush and gorgeous invincible’s animation is, it’s a VERY good sign their helping out with it if it’s true. 

But wether this versoin continues or not, Frank gave it his best shot. Part of his diffrent angle is having Drake as a rookie here and as such here we see him truly struggle: he’s had his origin, he ahs the cape, he has the gadgets (in a brilliant turn thanks to fenton, who he actually likes... but is so far the ONLY person to not get he’s Gizmoduck), and the city.. but no crime to fight and no real idea how to go about his lifelong dream. The events of the episode slowly shape him: WHile he already had the spirit for darkwing, never giving up, looking good in a cape etc, this episode gives him the heart the same way it gave his original it: With Gosalyn. Dimantopolis and Beatriz just play off each other perfectly, as the two go from neimies to slowly bonding as Drake realizes this kid needs him and that he needs to fight for more than just filing the ohle inside, and goes to hell and back to help her get her grandpa back, with one of the best moments of the episode to me being when Launchpad helps her realize how hard he’s been working at it, an exausted drake refusing to acccept that he can’t get her grandpa back because he promised. He grows from simply trying to live the dream.. to surpassing the original. We also see more from Launchpad, who grows into his new family and helps push his boyfriend and newa dopted daughter in the right directions. The episode really evolves these characters from the simple disney afternoon versions, who while awesome were made into fully fleshed out characters. Gosalyn still has her edge but now has a hard lesson to learn about doing the right thing, forced to give up someone she loves for the greater good but finding a new family in the process. 

Part of what makes the episode work though as while it is funcitonally one big darkwing duck reboot pilot that’s awesome, heartrending and a joy to watch... it’s still a ducktales episode in parts without either part hurting each other. Huey plays a vital role, figuring the ramrod is too good to be true.. and discovering just how it is, then when captured, slowly unravling why Bradford’s there and being at least in part responsible for outing him as a FOWL agent. While this is largely Drakes story the rest of the cast is still vital to it: Scrooge trusting in huey, Louie serving as his logical counter and Dewey meanwhile bonding with team darkwing and helping Gosalyn, knowing exactly where she’s been and providing a nice foil. The episode is just one long and impressive love letter to the original show while creating it’s own thing and that’s really this reboot in a nutshell. It also has some of the best fights of the series, with the first fight between darkwing and bulba, where our hero, unlike his original counterpart, easily troucnes bulba using his speed and skill, is the standout. 

6. Woo-Ooo!

I covered this one recently so I won’t go on for too long.. but I will say I hold this one up as the gold standard for first episodes. In one hour, hell even in jus the first half we get a sense of the whole cast, the tone of the show, and the world we’ve been thrust into. It gets all the table setting out of the way by weaving it into a compelling story of Scrooge getting back in the game, finding a reason to get back to what he does best in those he loves most and setting up the season long arc effortlessly in the process. The worst I can say about the episode is it sets the bar a bit high for Season 1 and a lot of the first half really struggled to reach these heights. This episode is a masterwork and the perfect showcase for what the series would be at it’s height. 

5. Moonvasion!

Speaking of Golden Standards, Moonvasion is one of the best season finale’s i’ve seen. it’s not THE best.. but that’s a really high bar to clear and that spots currently taken in my heart by “The Crossroads of Destiny” from Avatar the Last Airbender. But while not the best of it’s kind, it’s sitll the best the series put out and is an utterly satisfying epic that ties up season 2. 

While I love the Last Adventure, it had a LOT to tie up and was really hampered by having to do all of that with no direct lead in. Moonvasion by contrast hits the ground running with the Moonlanders arriving on earth and all hell breaking loose, and the episode itself breaking into two stellar plots. Scrooge leading an army of every ally he has against the invaders, and Della seemingly going for reinforcements.. but really just trying to keep the kids safe from it, to their anger once they find out. 

Both sides end up going badly: Scrooge looses most of his army as Lunaris was one step ahead of him and is left iwth Beakly and Launchpad, while Della ends up marooned.. and finds Donald. The reunion between the two is the highlight of the special, as the two argue as you’d expect (And Dewey cutting in seemingly to stop it.. only to rant at Donald for costing him “ten years of turbo” is the best gag of the episode), before embracing. 

Our heroes naturally find ways to bounce back though. Louie, capping off his growth for the season, convinces his mom they can’t just hide.. and in the second best scene of the episode sings the lullabye she wrote.. one Donald sung them every night

And no sooner than Della gets her step back and realizes that dangerous or not she and her newly reunited family have to get back in there, do the cousins show up on Fethry’s giant shrimp/girlfriend Mitzi, and our heroes head back. 

Scrooge’s plot hits i’ts peak though as he’s forced to accept the help of an unlikely and unwelcome ally: Glomgold, who turns out to be exactly what they need: While his plan is as stupid, short sighted and insane as you’d expect, complete with forcing Scrooge to dress up as santa just to piss him off and dressing his sharks in parkas (”I call them sharkas”), the sheer lonacy throws Lunaris off as he dosen’t know how to deal with this and Glomgold not only gets the better of him but gets his company back as part of his scheme.  “You were prepared for our best but not our dumbest!” “And i’m the dumbest theirs ever been! Muahahahaha! Wait...”

And of course our other heroes arrive just in time to save things.. and the episode still manages to pull off what many works struggle to, something tha’ts very hard to: a SECOND climax. Lunaris decides to just say fuck it and blow up the earth and i’ts up to our core family to kick his ass in space. Epic space battles, Della’s girlfriend meeting the family and more insues and an emotoinal, action packed and fully satisfying finale is had by all... and it’s all topped with one of the best sequel hooks i’ve ever seen as FOWL makes themselves known to us.. and prepares to strike. 

4. How Santa Stole Christmas! This one will also be short as i’ve talked about this one.. a lottttt. The initial review, my best christmas specials list and my best of 2020 list. I stand by all of that: this is a unique and wonderful christmas special, i’ll be watching it every year, and i’ts full of charm, humor and gay subtext. In short it’s this series but on christmas footing. 

3. Last Crash of the Sunchaser! 

Another one I covered very recently, this episode is a master piece of suspense, slowly building tension as our heroes get closer and closer to the truth about Della.. and to death, the simple but deadly stakes making this an absolute nailbiter from start to finish. This is some of the series best pacing bar none... but what seals it is the ending: the masterful flashback finally explaning whatever happened to Della duck, our heroes lashing out at each other.. all cumilating in the best Scene of the show. I said it might be in the review but no I can confirm: Scrooge bitterly ruminating over things while we find out just how much he’s lost... ending with him tearfully and angrily sitting once again alone in one hell of a powerful shot echoing Scrooge’s first apperance. Damn fine stuff. 

2. Escape from The Impossbin Only one episode not only matches Last Crash in mounting tension and atmosphere but suprasses it. With FOWL and Bradford’s true nature now out in the wind, this episode uses that to create tension and rattles it’s two most unshakable characters: SCrooge’s normal boundless confidence is shot, not sure he can win this time against an opponent who knows him as well as he knows himself while Beakly slowly unravels, pitting Webby against the boys.. and pitting herself against Webby when Webby sees her terroizing them is only dividing them. Both plots start out funny enough but slowly escalate in tension and stakes until by the end your on the edge of your seat. The Beakly plot is the standout of the two, giving Bentina the starring role she badly needed, having gotten even better in light of the finale. Everyone is at the top of their game and everything builds up to one hell of a twist ending and one hell of a badass boast from our heroes: Their down.. but their far from out and this is far from over. 

1. Nightmare On Kimotor Hill!

I”ll be reviewing this episode in full later this week as part of my Lena retrospective, but I stand by putting it up top. This episode is ducktales in it’s purest form and focuses on it’s best original character as Lena grapples with her self hatred and her past. That core helps anchor an amazing concept: going into the Kid’s dreams and finding out their greatest desires. The results.. are all gloriously rediclous and are easily the best gags of hte series as a whole: Dewey’s high school musical santa claus is going ot high school nonsense from getting a’s in Dewology to running away from the abstract concept of a love intrest, to not getting the sybolism of himself crying a moon made of his own tears. Louie quite literally becoming garfield, and my faviorite scene of the show: Huey, wanting to be the tall older brother..g iving himself horrifcly long leg. While everyone else is just understandably baffled, what makes the scene is the banter between Dewey and Huey, with Schwartz and Pudi at their best as Dewey first freaks out and then asks what the hell man, while Huey defends his weird decision (”I”m not good at imagination stuff okay!”), and then tries to get a jar of pickles. Each dream is just so oddly and wonderfully specific to each kid and each one of the triplests dreams, as well as violets being color coded down tot he backgrounds is a very nice touch. The visuals here are just peak ducktales, using the setting for all it’s worth and the climax is utterly emotoinal and heartbreaking... and Lena’s break from her abuser, finally realizing she has the power now is not only a wonderful metaphor... but also just so damn cathartic. And that’s why this one’s the best to me personally: it just packs so much into 20 minutes: some of the series best and most creative jokes, a gripping emtoinal arc, and so much more. It’s just that damn good and tha’ts why it’s the best... that and starting Huelet for me. Seriously that LIbrary scene is so fucking cute. 

Thank you all for reading. If you liked this artcle, join my patreon and help me get to my stretch goal for monthly darkwing duck reviews, a review of super ducktales and more after! Until the next rainbow... it’s been a pleasure. 

[literaila]

dance with me

spencer reid x reader 

request: Hi! Can you do one where Spencer and the reader go on a road trip for a day? And then they have a special day together? :) And maybe something happens at the end? I’ll let you decide! Thank you!!! warnings: its just fluffffffff and feelings and i had no idea where it was going soooo sorry it suuuckkssssssssssss :D 

*

It was raining. 

Drops of water bouncing off the windshield, falling to the ground without a care in the world. 

Drops of water crashing against the glass, crashing down. 

But the two people sitting in the car watching these drops of water float down, couldn't care less. 

These two people were barely paying attention at all. 

These two people were too focused on the feeling clouding their bodies. 

This feeling clouding both of them from the world around them. 

It was a feeling that they couldn't escape, a feeling that no one could just run from. It was one of those feelings that you couldn't chase, couldn't hide. It was a feeling that came involuntarily, that just appeared. It seemed that this feeling wouldn't go away. 

Neither of them were sure if they wanted it to. 

It was an amazing day. 

They’d both woken up, both knowing they didn't have anywhere to be, didn't have anything they had to do. They’d both woken up with hopeful feelings in their hearts. The feeling in their chest the same as the one they were feeling in the car. 

And then they decided to make something out of the day. 

After spending an hour sprawled across each other in bed, they’d decided they didn't need to be apart for even a moment that day. That they didn't want that. That there was no point in being away from someone you felt so alive being around. 

So they left. 

She’d briefly mentioned wanting to go somewhere, wanting to go somewhere with just him, wanting to leave with him and not look back for as long as they could, in the whispers of the yawns they shared when they’d only just woken up. 

She’d only briefly mentioned it, but still. 

So they’d packed up their bags. Ran themselves out of the house. 

They’d slammed the trunk, piled next to each other in the car, and drove. 

They just drove, wheels turning, road soaring. 

There was no destination in sight, no place they were going, no clue where either of them wanted to be but in that car, there was practically nothing but the two of them. 

And, for some reason, nothing was feeling more like everything. 

For some reason, nothing was the exact description of the feeling in their chests, because, for some odd reason that neither of them could explain, nothing was everything. 

And the other person was everything. 

There was nothing else. 

And it was raining. 

It was pounding rain down onto their car, lightning striking the earth every couple of seconds, thunder threatening them, warning them to turn back. 

They didn't listen to the warnings. Only listened to the feeling in their hearts, in their head, that was telling them that this was good, that this adventure would be worth it in the end. 

It was pounding, pouring down on them, and, 

They barely even noticed. 

They were too entranced in each other, too completely distracted by the smiles on their faces, by the glow of their bodies, the warmth of each other in their car. They were much too wrapped in each other to have the time to notice anything else. 

The rain didn't bother them. 

No, they were smiling at each other, laughing at the unspoken words. 

Nothing was bothering them. 

It was a beautiful day, one that wasn't supposed to be beautiful, a day that was meant to be horrible but was too perfect to be. It was a day where neither of them could care if everything else seemed horrible. 

It was an amazingly perfect day. 

“You know… I have no idea where we are,” she laughed, her legs sprawled across the dash, her back slouching as she watched him drive. She laughed and sipped the drink they’d stopped at the closest gas station they could find. She leaned over to mess with the radio, laughing when Spencer gave her a look. 

He smiled over at her. His hands were tense, and she could hear his voice whining “Y/N I don't want to drive” she could picture the pleas he had built her with his hands. She could hear her own voice telling him that he would be fine. His hands were tense, but his body was relaxed, he looked over to her and gave her an acknowledging smile. He looked so very happy. 

“Neither do I.” he replied. 

“Yeah, but you probably have the picture of a map in your head, directing every turn.” she teased, sitting up so she could look out the window. 

“You’re right,” he said, smirking over at her, watching her roll her eyes. 

“Okay then, Genius, where are we going?” she asked her head on her chin, staring at him. Watching his face twist and turn, watched him scour for an answer, furrowed his eyebrows, and then finally smile again. 

“It's a surprise.” was all he said, not looking at her, eyes focused on just the road, on the rain. 

She stared at him blankly, waiting for him to look at her. When he didn't, she sighed, ran her hand up his sweater. 

“I don't like surprises,” she said, pouting, hoping she could pry the answer out of him. 

Usually, she was good at getting what she wanted with him, it was easy to tell he would give her the world if he could, and she was great at using that to her advantage. Spencer enjoyed it though, giving her what she wanted, he enjoyed it. 

She hoped he would enjoy it then. 

He laughed and she frowned. When he looked over to see her frown, he only laughed harder, amused at her expression, laughing because he was so in love with this girl who was pouting in the passenger seat of his car.  

“You love surprises,” he reminded her, he moved the arm she was stroking with her hand up to her face, ran his finger over her cheek. Enjoyed the slight pink tint that came to her face, smiled at her reaction to him. 

 And when she didn't respond he smoothed his finger over her pout, laughing as she tried not to smile. 

She shook her head at his laugh, forcing his hand away from her mouth, grabbed his hand from off her face, and laced their fingers together, glaring at him. 

“Well, I don't right now.” 

Spencer didn't say anything. He just enjoyed her warm hands on him, relaxed at the feeling of her thumb running over his palm. 

“Spencer,” she whined, trying to move herself closer to him. “Will you tell me?” she asked, pouting, hoping her eyes would be enough for him to tell her. 

Unfortunately for her, Spencer was used to her antics. 

“You’ll see soon enough love,” he whispered, squeezing her hand tighter. 

And she gave up. 

Watched the rain. 

Smiled at him. 

Nothing bothered them. 

*

What she didn't know, 

What neither of them actually knew, 

Was that there was a plan,  

Was that today did have a purpose, 

What neither of them knew, 

Was that today, 

Was everything. 

*

It stopped raining eventually. 

But it still smelled like it, there was still that sweet feeling in the air outside, it had stopped raining, but it was obvious that the clouds had been there, that a storm had come with the world moved on. 

There was still that feeling in their chests, still that feeling in the air, almost as if the two things were connected. Almost as if the feelings in their chest was like falling, crashing to the ground, falling down to earth, almost as if the feelings in their chests were like rain. Almost as if the two things were connected. 

There were little bits of sun in the sky. 

Little slivers of light that came through the clouds still left behind, slivers of glass shining on the world while the other parts stayed content in the darkness. 

The sun had been pinned up on the sky again, had been placed back up above them where it belonged, where it would stay, for as long as no one took it down. 

The sun was a pleasant surprise. 

Spencer had taken her outside. Out into the autumn air, the fresh air all around them. 

She could tell that much. 

They’d gone to lunch first. They’d found a small cafe on the side of the road they’d been driving down. Spencer swore he knew where he was going, but Y/N wasn't sure, she looked at him doubtfully every time he reassured her, but when he smiled, when he just smiled at her, she felt her trust in him swell in her chest. 

She believed him. She knew he would keep her safe. She knew he always would. 

And they’d eaten lunch, played with each other's feet under the table, laughed at each other with no reason, and stole each other's food. They’d spent lunch being an annoying couple, one that was perfectly happy, delicately in love. 

It was perfect. 

And then they’d piled back into the car, watched the leftover raindrops fall from the windows, watched the sun float from cracks in the sky. 

And neither of them could stop smiling. 

It was ridiculous. They were two ridiculous people, in ridiculous, fabulous, unbearable, love. 

But they were going somewhere now. Driving towards a destination. 

Y/N had no idea where they were, had no idea where they were going, had no clue why Spencer had that silly smirk on his face, why he kept looking at her, why he was acting so mysterious. 

She had no idea about any of it. 

She tried to pay most attention to the world around her, tried to enjoy this place she’d never been, tried to imagine a million different things all in her head at the same time, but every time Spencer moved, every time he released a breath, every time a sigh came from the other side of the car, her attention was pulled back to him. 

She was so confused. 

And she was still confused when Spencer turned into a parking lot.  

She looked over to him to see him avoiding her eyes, avoiding looking at her. He parked the car and still didn't look at her. He grabbed the keys from the ignition and hopped out of the car. He got out and she was still sitting in her seat, still confused, still watching him with doubtful eyes.

She unbuckled her seatbelt hesitantly and watched him walk around the car. 

She watched as he came over and smiled at her through the window, finally looking at her, and then opened the door. 

The air entering the car was cold, brisk air filling the warm car they’d both been sitting in. The air swirled around her, creating goosebumps as it passed by her, and she shivered, but she didn't notice, she was looking at Spencer, waiting for some explanation. 

Spencer leaned down and grabbed her hand. When she had no reaction, he pulled her out of the car, causing her to squeal at the contrast between his hands and the temperature outside. 

When she was finally stable on the ground, her arms holding Spencer's forearms, he put an arm around her, he sighed a quick kiss into her ear and led her away from the car. 

And for the first time in the two minutes they’d been there, she looked around. 

Fall was clear in the park Spencer seemed to have taken her to. The leaves were millions of different colors, different tints on the same leaf over and over again, what looked like hundreds of them on the ground. 

The colors burned her eyes with their vibrancy, they scolded her and reminded her how beautiful a change could be. 

The air was brisk and breezy, the wind clear through the shaking of the trees, of the leaves moving toward her on the ground. 

The grass was still green only adding on to the illusion that was this park, only making her more confused how she could be in the middle of summer and fall. She looked up to see the moments of sun again and noticed the bit of light on her face. And then she looked back down to see if anything else was enjoying that light just as she was. 

And she saw Spencer, who was clear in the middle of the sliver of light, Spencer who didn't seem to notice, didn't seem to be looking around as Y/N was, Spencer who was just looking at her, checking to see her reaction. 

She felt the wind blow through her hair, could feel the force on her neck, on her arms. She shivered and moved closer to Spencer, closer to the light. 

He laughed and put another arm around her, closing her off from the world, wrapping her up in him. 

She looked up at him and quietly whispered through the yelling of the sky, “What are we doing here?”

Spencer looked away from her, looked around the park, looked around at the people that were walking. 

“I thought we’d go have a picnic,” he replied, just as quietly as she had been, moving one arm away from her, starting to walk forward, out of the parking lot and to the path that would lead them into the park.

As she walked along with him she was amazed at the colors, at the feeling, at the air that was making her feel as she did. Which was happy, and awed. She had no idea how Spencer could have found out about a place as vibrant as this one. 

“I’ll be honest,” she whispered to him, watching a couple with a little girl walk by with a smile. When Spencer looked over to her she continued “I didn't think you had anything planned, I thought you just said there was a ‘surprise’ to tease me.” 

Spencer's hand wrapped around her waist as they continued to walk together. “You didn't trust me?” he asked, a playful pout on his face. 

She laughed at him, leaned up to peck his pout away, enjoying the shocked look on his face, the smooth feeling of his hand on her waist. She lifted a hand up to his face, cupped his cheek in one motion. “Only a little love,” she said, smiling at him. 

He sighed and looked at the ground, she laughed at him and lifted his head with her fingers. When Spencer saw her smile, saw her bright eyes, her adoration that was clear on her face, when he saw that, he couldn't help but smile back. 

And then they were walking again. 

Follow the path laid out for them. As they walked Spencer whispered facts of information in Y/N’s ear. 

“This park is called Echo Gardens.” 

“-in the fall it's known to be the brightest park in America.” 

“-I’ve wanted to take you for a couple of months” 

“It's supposed to get warmer soon, sorry about the wind.”

“It's almost as beautiful as you,” 

And finally, when Spencer stopped, near a spot by a lake that wasn't frozen over, a lake that looked almost clear to the touch, he asked a question. 

“Do you like it?” he said, pulling her until she was facing him. Until he could watch her reaction, see the truth in her eyes. 

And she looked at him, tilted her head slightly, lifted her hand up to run it through his messy hair. 

She took notice of the feeling around her, of the slight chill still surrounding them, she thought about how Spencer was right, how it wasn't as windy as before. How the cold was barely noticeable. She could feel his warmth on her waist, on her eyes, on her lips, she could feel his eyes on every inch of her, blocking away any cold that might have tried to touch her. 

She could feel the warmth in her chest, something that wasn't unusual, something that she had become used to, but something she was still thrilled about. 

She thought about him for a moment, about the day they’d had, thought about just him, and then she smiled and looked back up at his eyes which she had drifted away from. 

She smiled and sighed. “I like you.” 

And Spencer smiled, bigger than before, brighter than the colors of the leaves. 

He laughed and grabbed the hand she was using to run through his hair. Grabbed it and brought it to his lips to kiss it. And he shook her head at her words. 

“That's not what I asked love,” he started to say before she interrupted him. 

“The way you describe things is so beautiful. It's like every little thing has meaning to you.” 

The words faded from Spencer's mouth, he went silent and watched this girl next to him look at him. 

“That's one of the things I love most about you,” she continued, the smile on her face much smaller than before, but somehow so much different. 

This wasn't a smile of happiness or a smile of entertainment. This smile wasn't big, wasn't bright, wasn't shimmering, blinding Spencer. 

No, this smile wasn't any one of those things. 

But somehow, somehow, it was better. 

Her smile, 

Her smile her smile her smile, 

That small little smile on the tip of her lips, framing the rest of her face. 

That smile was so much different. It was a smile of disbelief, of adoration, of awe, of everything that made her love Spencer. It was a smile that rested on her face in the easiest way. 

It was a smile of love. 

And Spencer was shocked by it. Shocked and frozen, frozen just staring at her, watching her look at him with her big beautiful eyes, her blissful blush, and her smile.

And he stared at her for a moment, and then she was kissing his face, kissing the blush he didn't know was there, and she was laughing at him and his shock. 

And she pulled his face down to hers, connected their lips, and didn't make him say a word.

And they stayed like that. For a minute. Just connected, just together. 

And finally, when Spencer moved back and looked at her, he had the same smile on his face as she had before. 

“I love you too,” he said, his words delicately filling her with fire, causing her chest to burst into flame. 

She smiled. 

“Show me where we’re going.” 

*

A plan was set in motion. 

A beginning, begun to unravel. 

 *

Spencer had found them a spot on a hill, a spot where they could barely see any people, where the grass was green and the leaves were glowing and everything was perfect. 

The luck they had managed to stuff in their pockets was helping. 

Everything seemed unbelievably perfect. 

They spent the afternoon just talking. Just being together in a beautiful place, getting to know each other once again, sharing stories and facts, and laughs with each other. Sharing everything once again, no cares to be had. 

They spent the rest of their afternoon completely entranced by each other, completely void of anything else but the other person. Entranced by every laugh, but every notion, but every word that left the other person's mouth. They were undeniably entranced in each other.

And when it got dark, amazingly it was still warm. 

Neither of them were sure if it was the air outside if the sun was somehow still shining on them if the universe was giving them more time, or, if maybe, the warmth was coming from the other person, if they were keeping each warm, if just being together kept them protected from the cold. 

It didn't matter. As long as they were warm. It didn't matter. 

And the sun had fallen from the sky, leaving only clouds behind, Y/N had looked around, noticed the lack of people, the quiet daze that had fallen over the park. 

“When I was a kid,” she said “I used to dream about dancing under the stars. On a night like this one,” she said and laughed, shook her head like she couldn't believe she would’ve ever thought that. 

But Spencer, Spencer who was laying on the grass next to her, his chin resting on the palm of his head, Spencer who was just watching her smiled. He smiled at her, his eyes were soft and calm, he was entirely relaxed next to her. Entranced by her very presence. 

When Y/N pulled herself out of the dreams she was thinking of she looked at him, noticed the weird look on his face, and she laughed, confused, and amused at him. 

“What?” she asked, her voice suspicious, she laughed almost involuntary. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked when Spencer just shook his head at her, the same look still on his face. 

She looked away and giggled, flustered at his attention. Looked away and felt that feeling in her chest, that falling, raining, feeling in her chest. 

And then he was sitting up, getting off of the ground, lifting himself up with one hand and grabbing her with the other. He was sitting up and Y/N was confused, she was worried he would want to leave, that their day was finally over, if she was going to have to leave this feeling in her chest behind. 

She didn't want any of it to be over. She didn't want to lose that feeling. 

He was lifting both of them up, and Y/N didn't understand. 

When she was standing next to him, facing directly at him, her eyes locked on his face, on his smile, when she was standing he just stood there for a moment and looked at her, stared at her, wondered so many things and kept his eyes directly on hers. 

And she was confused, and she was nervous at his attention, and she looked away, willing herself to calm down, willing herself not to worry. Willing her mind to understand. 

But there was something, something about her knew, something about her was already aware, was already warning her body. There was something that was hinting at her, causing the nerves in her stomach. 

She begged it to stop. Irritated at the sudden intrusion. 

And she was still looking over to the side, still trying to calm herself down for no reason, when 

“Y/N?” Spencer said, squeezing her hand even tighter.

She looked over to him, looked at his brown eyes, those brown eyes she was so addicted to, and nodded, said nothing but hoped he would continue on. 

She hoped he would explain. Ease her worries.

“Y/N,” he said again, making her frown, she said nothing but kept her eyes on him. “I need you to pay attention to this next part alright?” He asked, trying to reassure himself, only making her more nervous, more frightened of what was to come. “I need you to let me finish before you say anything,” he continued, his eyes still on hers, still not letting her attention go anywhere else. “Okay?” he asked finally, his voice much softer. 

Y/N nodded but she had no idea what she was agreeing to. 

Spencer didn't say anything for another split second, just let her stand in front of him and pile the nerves up in her body. 

And then finally, 

“You always radiate happiness,” he said, he said and he was moving his hand up to her face, moving the hair out of her eyes and stroking her cheek, offering affection that she was so used to. 

She didn't say anything, reminded herself that she said she would let him finish before she said anything. She felt her heart start beating faster at his words. 

“You’ve always been someone that draws people in.” he continued, his voice barely a whisper, just matching the wind that seemed to have picked up around them. “Even when we first met, people were so drawn to you, everyone seemed to be pulled in by you, just like you were a magnet, an unstoppable force.” He paused and looked back at her, his eyes fading to the side as he thought of the past. He smiled at her. Continued. “And I didn't understand it.” 

She took a breath in. 

He laughed and used his other hand to grab hers. 

“I didn't understand it. I just didn't know why everyone was pulled to you, so drawn by just your presence.” he paused again, looking deeper into her eyes. “But then, I noticed the way you smile. I noticed your laugh, the way you would move your hair behind your ears.” he stroked her hair, focused his eyes on her lips. “I kept noticing all these things about you, and I saw the way you smiled. And I understood.” 

Y/N still didn't understand, still didn't know why he was telling her this, why there were so many nerves piled up in her stomach. She could hear the words he was saying, could understand them, but they were flying past her, carried away by the wind. 

She didn't understand this new feeling in her chest. 

“People tell jokes just to make you laugh, just to make you smile. You’re this unstoppable force that everyone loves. You brighten up everything. I don't know how you do it, even science can't explain to me why everyone is drawn to you, but I understand.” He leaned down to peck her cheek, his thumb still stroking her cheek, the red that had filled her face. “I don't know why anyone wouldn't be drawn to you,” he said. 

And she could feel her heart beating because she knew, she finally could understand, for just a moment. She could feel the feeling in her chest, could practically take it out of her body, and hold it in her hands because it was so familiar. Because she could understand now. She just could understand. 

This wasn't some silly trip. 

This wasn't just a ‘getaway’. 

This wasn't spontaneous. 

This wasn't this wasn't- 

This was- 

More.

“Y/N, if I could spend every day watching you smile if I could spend every day with you just watching the way your eyes light up when you see something you like if I could, I would.” Spencer continued, not allowing her room to think, not allowing her any space to just breathe, not allowing the feeling in her chest to deflate for even a moment. And she understood she understood. 

She understood everything. 

And there were these words he was saying, these words that meant everything, these words that would never match up to the love she could feel in her chest, but these words that got pretty damn close. 

These words,

“Y/N, you’re a universal kind of beautiful.” 

“Y/N, I’ve never met someone who views life the way you do.” 

“Y/N, you are love in its physical form.” 

“Y/N, you are ethereal.” 

And she couldn't breathe, she couldn't smile, she couldn't do anything but listen to him, but to feel the air around her slow down, stop, because there was nothing, there was nothing, there was nothing. 

There was this moment. 

There was Spencer. 

There was understanding. 

There was this feeling.

There were so many things.  

And then, finally, Spencer spoke one last thing, verbalized one last thought. 

He smiled, grabbed her face with both hands, made sure her eyes were on his, and he spoke. 

“I want to be the person you dance under the stars with, I want to be the only person you ever dance under the stars with. I want to be with you for every road trip, every park, every fall. I want to be the person you dance with.” 

And, she understood. 

She knew what this meant, she knew what he was trying to say, she knew everything, everything. 

“Y/N?” Spencer asked, his warmth radiating against her, reminding her that she was really there, at that moment, with him, that he was hers, and she was his. His presence was the only thing reminding her that it wasn't a dream, that this moment wasn't just a dream. 

She nodded, she nodded and she didn't understand how. She didn't understand how she was still breathing, how she was still thinking, how she was still existing while he was saying these things to her. 

“Will you dance with me?” 

And her breath caught in her throat because this was Spencer. This was Spencer. 

She laughed, her smile forming on her face, her eyes shining at him. 

“There aren't any stars,” she said, her voice raw, her eyes cracked open, raindrops falling out of them. The feeling bursting through her words, falling onto the ground.

Spencer laughed. Wiped away her tears. 

“Will you dance with me anyway?” he asked. 

And when it started to rain, when the wind had finally halted and it was the skys turn, when the drops were crashing against the ground, soaking the two of them. 

When it had finally started to rain, neither of them noticed. 

It was only them, only the two of them, only the day they had spent together. 

It was nothing else. 

And there was nothing else to say except “I will.”

*

i liiiied cause you’re the star :D love you. sorry the proposal was kinda weird. thank you for reading. 

my masterlist here