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luckynumber-8 · 1 year

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♡ ~ HOBBIT TRAUMAS (AND HOW YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM) ~ ♡ (4 Hobbits X Reader Preference)

a/n: No one would escape an adventure like the Fellowship had unscathed, especially not if you were an innocent, good-hearted, fun-loving hobbit.

My take on the traumas the 4 hobbits would have after the adventure, and how you, reader, help them deal with that.

P.S. -This is my first-ever writing post in Tumblr... and also my first-ever posted fanfic-type-thing! It's just a bunch of headcanons right now - maybe I'll take one of the ideas and turn it into a drabble or something later. Feedback is the best thing ever, and I would love to get any that anybody has!

P.P.S. - Shoutout to @wordbunch, who's LOTR writings I absolutely adore, and whose post formatting I basically used as a cheat sheet, because I'm a totally clueless newbie. So thank you! I hope that wasn't out of line for me to borrow 😕

Frodo

Sometimes he can still feel the crushing weight of the ring pulling on his neck or weighing on his chest, and you catch him absentmindedly rubbing one of these spots

So you, you special person, find some excuse to give him a neck rub or a back rub

Because you absolutely cannot stand seeing him trying to hide his discomfort like this

You know openly calling him out on it will just remind him of all that happened to him, so you have become a Master of Subtlety and Distraction

Whenever you catch him staring into the distance, you know it is Time to Remove Frodo From His Own Head

Distractions ensue

Namely:

Surprise hugs

Randomly launching into stories or rants that you know he won't be able to help listening to

(Because the sound of your voice is not-so-secretly one of his favorite things and he will listen forever)

Offering to read to him (we all know this is Book Boy, so what better than having his favorite tales read aloud by you?? His favorite narrator??)

You make him cups of tea as he writes his book

When he sees you smiling in the doorway with a mug in one hand and the scent of his favorite leafy brew drifting out of it, it just makes his day because…well, you.

You just think of him too much and he can't handle it lol

Sam

Never

Ever

Try to put this poor boy around spiders

Ever

(yes I love this HC, idk who came up with it and I can’t remember where I saw it but it’s basically canon in my bran now)

He cannot stand them, not even in the garden anymore. You can see how he stiffens and twitches every time one of those ugly eight-leggers scuttles across his path and instantly know how much restraint he's using not to kill it on the spot.

Spider in the house? It's all you, Y/N

You know he would try to face it down for you and you alone

But you can't stand seeing him go all cold and shaky at a little garden spider

So you often remove them before he can even notice because peace in the house is a nice thing to have

He also has alarming levels of self-doubt sometimes because of how he thinks he's misjudged things in the past

But luckily for him, he has you

You are there to support him and are always advocating that he is strong and makes solidly good choices

And you know what? You are his world, so he believes your every word.

He drinks those affirmations up like there is no tomorrow

And you are happy to continue on as his supplier till the end of days

Merry

Personal HC that when his arm is burned after stabbing the Witch-King, he gets phantom pains not dissimilar to Frodo's

It's almost like nerve damage - he'll be fine one minute and drop whatever he was holding the next, or his hand will start twitching in weird and sometimes disturbing (to him) ways

This is Mr. "Nothing-Bothers-Me-And-I'm-Fine", so naturally, it bothers him quite a bit that one of his appendages refuses to follow orders on a regular basis

It's something that he tries to hide from you - pretends it's not there, BARELY jokes about it.

If Merry Brandybuck ain't joking about it, you aren't either.

Sometimes you hear villagers mentioning it in hushed whispers, and you (badass) shut them up before a single one makes it back to Merry

Because you know that's what he'd do for you, so you absolutely do it for him.

And you know he secretly appreciates that you don't fuss over it, because he doesn't want to feel different or incapable. It helps, for him, that you treat him like just the same person he was before (because he is duh) and nothing has changed and he doesn't want or need to be coddled.

Not saying you do, but you might sometimes give this particular arm a little extra love and affection. Massaging his hand, tracing circles on his wrist, and just letting him know how dead cool you think his scar is.

Because, really…how many people have changed the fate of Middle Earth and have something to prove it?

Your Merry does, that's who. And you'll never let him forget how amazing and brave he is.

Pippin

Pippin is constantly awake in the dead of night

Because he's haunted by wild nightmares

And you're the first and probably one of the only people he would turn to for comfort

So guess what? You're up too, holding him close to you in the dead of night while he tries to calm down

Sometimes he tells you what the night mare was, sometimes he keeps silent and just wants to lay next to you. You know he'll tell you in his own time if it's right to.

This little hobbit is such an empath, he really took to heart EVERYTHING that happened on his journey

And he thinks that way too many things were exclusively his fault

Gandalf's death? His fault.

Merry getting hurt (because he got them separated and wasn't there)? His fault.

Boromir's death (because he didn't know how to fight)? His fault.

Again, you know better than to push, but you know the content of a lot of his nightmares revolves around his contributions being insignificant, his actions causing people's injury (or death), and how badly things could have played out because of him. It worries you, how much brainspace he gives to these things.

So you keep him close to you. I mean that both literally and figuratively. He's not shy about taking the physical comfort he needs (honestly I don't think he's aware of the concept of personal space), but he gets tripped up trying to talk about his own feelings

So you just give him his space, all the time he needs, and bottomless snuggles

Because contrary to what he thinks, a lot of things went right because of him, and you can't tell him enough how much he means to everyone (and you. most importantly, definitely you.)

Thank you for reading, if you made it down this far! I hope to post some actual writing soon, if I can find the time to sit down and put my Writer's Cap on. I am considering opening requests! At this point I don't know who will see this r how it's going to do, so we'll see how things work out :)

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nachosncheezies · 3 months

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💋🎉🥰🤲

For this ask game.

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

A fact about me, which may seem counterintuitive given my posting, is that... I'm actually not that much into shipping. I appreciate it, when done well, but it's not really the romance per se that draws me to things or drives my interactions with a piece of media. I don't really love OR hate first kiss fics; I suppose I would put them in the same category I put whump: if it's well done, and has some kind of plot or deeper introspection or something around it, something that helps the characters develop in some way, that's great! But just for its own sake? Meh.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

It's cliche, but feedback, especially comments. One of the best I ever got was on the first fic I posted, where I'd put a stereotypical "I'm not a writer, please be nice" sort of nonsense at the top. I got a comment from a complete stranger that started with, "okay, 'not a writer,'" and rode those four words straight into the next two stories I wrote. If I've made someone feel something enough that they've taken the time to say so, that's pure gold, and a definite win.

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I LOVE questions about them!! I love chatting about my shows in general, but tbh writing meta sometimes hurts my brain. My fics are almost all canon-compliant and usually express a headcanon or an interpretation of canon events. Sometimes I'm demonstrating why some part of canon that folks seem to hate or think makes no sense actually makes perfect sense to me. It's always so fun to chat about blorbos, I guess I'm just better at showing my thoughts on some things through fic than I am at explaining. :D

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Bless you 💕 every time you do this you force me to look at another bit I've not worked on for a while and it sets my brain on fire with ideas for how to improve or expand on them. :D How about one not from season 8? Set in the reduxes, a scene I drafted ages ago for Scully and Bill Junior. I was delighted to later discover it has a lot in common with the deleted scene from I think it was memento mori? (also delighted that the deleted scene can't be considered canon, because what did air has him not aware of her cancer until much later, so my version could still stand :D I'll post it someday, probably)

"You're being rude," she stated. "I'm just looking out for you." "I know that you believe that, but you're also being rude." "Dana, I know-" he started, but she cut him off with a look. "I asked to speak to you, I would like you to listen," she said, and tipped her head toward the chair beside her bed. "Sit." His jaw flexed, but he acquiesced. "Look, I'm not going to ask you to like him-" "Good, because I don't," he interrupted petulantly. She gave him a quelling look. "I am not going to ask you to like him," she repeated, pausing between each word for emphasis, "and I'm not going to ask that you understand him. But I need you to respect me. We aren't kids anymore Bill, I'm a grown woman; I can make my own decisions. Please don't belittle that by assuming that I'm somehow being..." she searched for the right word, "manipulated."

thank you thank you thank you, a million times thank you for asking 💕💕💕

#i just really think scully deserves a chance to tell her brother that he's not her father and needs to stop fucking infantilizing her #like bruh you're more convinced than anyone that she's gonna die and you're really gonna make her #spend her final days mediating and refereeing between you and her best friend?#anyway i wrote it initially as an exercise in writing dialogue but i'm still not happy with it :/ someday though.... xD #thank you for another great chance to chatter!!#ask games #folks ask nachos answers #nachos writes

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ye-olde-sodor · 10 months

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Presenting…Dream Canon Ryan! Our fist Head Canon post for the DC au!

Ryan Gresley is a GNR Class N2 locomotive that was built in February of 1921, making him one of the oldest engines on Mallard's Mainland Correctional Facility (although he certainly doesn’t look like it!)

He's around Scott's height, making him quite the sight to those unfamiliar with his class.

He became a Preserved Engine due to his family ties to both Scott and Mallard, and because he outperformed his other siblings, making him one of the few Preserved Tank Engines in the UK.

Ryan was mostly raised by Mallard and Spencer, so he has a mix of their personalities. He's a little pompus and arrogant, but it's more adorable then irritating. He's known around the Facility for being kind but very stern with the engines (or students) there.

Students at the facility know Ryan as "The Treat Guy", as he's prone to enticing engines to listen to him by offering hot cross buns, coal, and other treats in return for good behavior. It's worked 89% of the time.

He came up with the idea of letting the Engines "play" (AKA clean the yards and organize the trains) . His logic? “If we make it seem fun, then they'll be more willing to do it :3" It's worked 99% of the time.

Everyone absolutely spoils him. Especially by Mallard and Gordon.

The poor boy is brainwashed. Thanks to Mallard, he's convinced that he's doing a good thing by "convincing" Engines to listen to him and Mallard. "What's wrong? I thought you were happy here?" "Aren't you happy here?" kinda vibes. He isn't too far gone, however, and is beginning to see through Mallard’s lies.

Ryan is pretty much confined to the Facility Railway, and hasn't seen the outside world. Because of all this sheltering, he's got a limited world view/perspective and thus can't imagine any other system other than the one he was raised to believe in. It won't be until a certain blue tank engine arrives that Ryan gets a chance to finally think about what he’s been doing.

A small secret that Ryan has is that there's an abandoned railway next to Mallard's Camp. He likes to go there to have some alone time. (And to talk to a certain blue little shit).

The Gresley's have a collection of "baby photos" of Ryan, from 1921 to current times. Has it become apparent that he's the favorite yet?

Like with Thomas, he too lost all his siblings. Unlike Thomas though, he isn’t aware that they’re all gone, but he has his suspicions.

Fun Fact! Mallard actually gifted Thomas to Ryan as "his first engine" on his birthday! Since Ryan is a Preserved Engine, he can own other engines!

He can make the :3 face and does so without realizing it.

Quotes and Phrases:

Ryan, referring to Thomas: “You mean he’s mine?!”

Thomas: “uh NO-”

Mallard: “Of course he is, my boy! :) We even painted him Purple in his sleep just for you!”

Thomas: “You did WHAT-“

Ryan: “Number 1, you go and play with the others for a bit while Mallard and I discuss some…adult things.”

Thomas: “...Mate, I’m 84.”

Thomas: “Look, I don’t have time for some rich kid to-“

Ryan: “I’m 80.”

Thomas: “I’m sorry, you’re WHAT-”

Ryan: “Address your superiors like that again and I’ll-”

Thomas: “Or You’ll what?! Take away my cookie privileges?! Put me in timeout?! I didn’t realize Mallard hired pushovers!”

Ryan: “I’ll see that you’re sent to the Scrapyards…and they’ll send me your exact weight back in Shillings.”

Thomas: …

Ryan: “You were given one last chance at life. A chance, of which, you didn’t deserve, but you were graced with one anyways. Start acting like it.”

Thomas: “Uh…yes sir.”

Ryan: “Good. Now go back to your shed. If I hear a peep from you, I’ll change my mind…don’t make me change my mind.”

Mallard: “I can’t believe you got Tho-I MEAN…Number 1 to behave! He was such a feral little beast when I brought him here! How did you-”

Ryan: “I’m…not proud of it.”

Mallard: “Well get proud of it! We’ll need whatever you did for the rest of those Sudrians! No one else is going to whip them into shape!”

Ryan: “Yes sir…”

Mallard: “Ryan, my boy, I-“

Ryan: “Stop calling me that.”

Thomas: “Here we go.”

Jinty: “Thomas, You’re not helping-“

Thomas: “Good.”

#ttte #ttte au #ttte DC au #ttte ryan #ttte headcanon

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morningmask27 · 1 year

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Thoughts on the new excerpt ?

it seems promising.

the chapters all had their good moments. FrostWhistle is basically becoming canon (sad that Whis isn't the cat that accompanies Frost on the journey), but Whis was so kind and it was so fun to see Whis In the text instead of in my head constantly. I have to admit I squealed in delight when Whis appeared. my little whiw has speaking lines! finally! (ok yeah Whis appeared briefly in River, but that was all)

the lack of buildup was a bit sad. I don't really believe Frost has spent a lot of time with Whis in the books as very little time passes between them atm. but in a magical otherworld (daily whis verse), they're spending a lot of time just having fun! I like that Frost trusts Whis so much, even when she has no reason to do so. She has to Trust Nobody, but Whis is an exception (is Whis Nodoby?) and it's so cute to see

Nightheart is Nightheart, he's ok. it's a bit annoying that the narrative makes it seem like he was actually wronged instead of him being an ass, but whatever, can't change that. but at least the female characters aren't portrayed as vile anymore. honestly my first thoughts when reading his chapter was that Myrtlebloom was going to steal his girl, and then Finchlight had that one line "Finchlight was heading toward Sunbeam. “Don’t worry,” she told Nightheart as she passed him. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t feel lonely.”" like damn girl, you're stealing your brother's gf almost immeditately there.

the rest of that chapter was a bit grating. i liked Myrtlebloom and Bayshine being sillies (and pulling out the Nightheart cringe comp) and Spark, Lily and Finch getting positive spotlight was fun, but the bigger clan stuff was fun to see finally, but annoying. Why Are So Many Cats Against Squirrelflight Becoming Leader? i mean yeah, it could be seen as them being weaker than before, or some other political stuff, but the total dislike of Squirrelflight by a grand part of the clan irks me. Twigbranch is an mvp for truly believing in Squilf. Lionblaze please stfu, you have done enough dumb things.

and i'm not that big a fan of deputy Ivypool. I know why she was chosen, both in a watsonian(in universe) and a doylist(our world) explanation, but it's a bit annoying. If they make the drama between dove and ivy good, While Also portraying Ivy in the wrong (because she is!) then maybe i'll allow it.

and then Sunbeam. it was an interesting chapter to end on, but if the Erins make Sunny fret over Night for a whole book I will riot. it will probably not 100% be the case because Berryheart has very clearly proven herself to be A Problem, but damn hell if she spends all her chapters thinking about her dumb boyfriend. Sun had some great moments in that chapter, being a bit awkward now that she's on her own (kinda) in a camp she barely knows, but luckily she has her two girlfriends Myrtle and Finch (plus Bay and Spark) who love and support her.

Berry's whole spiel was also a sight to beckon. Really well done, and Spark was having her "i'm the mom who steps up" moment and using it like a champ. I also Loved how Finch implied that Berry might be the reason Sun bailed. Finch is right, Berry is excruciating. The worries she planted in Sun's head better develop in Sun discovering she's in a wonderful environment now, surrounded by cats she loves and that love her, romantically or not. that she finds value and joy in living in this clan

just please, Erin Hunter. You made Bristlefrost so bland in the latter half of tbc, that was already enough, please don't do this again.

so yeah, I liked this preview. I can't buy it because i'm not shipping this bastard over from america to read, but maybe i'll grab the pdf and buy it once it gets translated in dutch (in many, many years, we're only at darkest night (avos book 4) atm)

#morningtalks #morninganswers #a starless clan #asc spoilers #a starless clan spoilers

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apocalyptic-dancehall · 1 year

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For the violence game 1, 12, 15

1 - the character everyone gets wrong

i'm doing a twofer for this one fuck it

i will literally peel myself alive for every time people think claptrap is JUST annoying or JUST perverted or JUST bossy or JUST depressed and pity-fishing, like yeah those are some of his personality traits, but sometimes a lot of people write him off as JUST those things and it drives me mad! unless you've got good reasons and aren't just blindly hating on him, i don't wanna hear it

first impressions do make an impact however but i feel like too many people think bl3 clap is just claptrap in general and not a case where his writing quality nosedived

and numero dos.. jack

jack is highly entertaining and magnetic, yes, and yet, he is so so so fucking pathetic and somehow SOMEHOW people think he's done nothing wrong! it's all lilith and moxxi and felicity and claptrap and roland and athena's fault (/s) blah blah blah and I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYMORE OF THAT BULLSHIT

jack is a manipulative, colonizing, misogynist dictator who skins and strangles kittens for fun, has canonically expressed how exhilarating killing people has been even before he became the hyperion ceo, shows little to NO remorse for his actions, has little care for other people's feelings/existence unless they interest him or provide a means to an end for him, burnt down his ex's arena just because they broke up, and despite what he claims, doesn't care much for his top henchmen (timothy's 20-year contract and the subsequent events, wilhelm getting poisoned before heading to the tundra express (without his knowledge), his complete underreaction to nisha (his GIRLFRIEND at the time) most likely dying, and murdering claptrap after taking the h-source from his system), and certainly doesn't give two flying fucks about his own daughter, as seen in this post where it's implied that he beats her (probably after overlook, since angel's only in-person appearance is after that)

12 - the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

CLAPTRAP MY BABY CLAPTRAP MY HONEY CLAPTRAP MY SWEET LITTLE RAGTIME GUYYYYYYY

i'll admit that yes he can be a bit much in bl1 but if you looked past that tiny speedbump he's pretty interesting, like among the biggest things he's done is stage a revolution! a goddamn planet-wide revolution! and why? it's because he saw his fellow claptrap units being mistreated and abused, and while the way he went about it was a bit much (cough cough claptrap did nothing wrong COUGH), he was still fighting for what he believed was right! also him shooting marcus in the back that was so satisfying actually even if it didn't actually happen

and then (chronologically) pre-sequel rolls around. he's paired up with five other people who, while varying in this aspect, hate his guts, and despite that, he still carries a positive attitude! even when he's been broken and traumatized by what he and the others have to do, he carries on. yes he's terrified, yes he wants nothing to do with this, but orders are orders.

cue claptastic voyage. somewhat innocuous enough, just a bit of mind-diving, dubstep-infested insanity, no? it kinda takes a turn when the gang meets shadowtrap, who is basically claptrap's antithesis, he's actually intelligent, calculating, and doesn't sound like bill cipher after having 15 cans of monster back-to-back. through him the vault hunters air out a lot of claptrap's dirty laundry, deal with his intensely repressed guilt in the most violent way possible, and increasingly grow exasperated with him.

right before they head into the cortex, claptrap (well, his personified consciousness) snaps right the fuck out, explicitly spelling it out to them that all he wanted to do was help, and if they didn't want to appreciate his attempts despite everything, they never deserved anything good to go for them in the first place. and still! right as he and shadowtrap meet face-to-face for the last time, after pulling away from the high-five to seal the deal, shadowtrap asks him why. claptrap's reasoning is that they're (the vault hunters) his friends, and despite all of the shit he's been dragged through thanks to them, he's still willing to forgive them for everything. such a thing may have (implicitly) influenced shadowtrap to revive claptrap after the dlc.

bl2 leans HARD into the comedic side of claptrap, for better or for worse, but he still manages to pull through and provide considerable assistance! without him, you would've still been on the southern shelf, without him, there was no way to breach the anti-competitor gate at thousand cuts, and without him, getting into hero's pass was nigh-impossible. the last one especially because claptrap expresses how he's actually done something right for once in a way reminiscent of what happened a couple of years prior and it's very heartwarming for me aaaaaa

i don't have much in the way of bl3 because i haven't played it yet by the time i'm answering this but from what i HAVE seen.. claptrap's definitely lost a lotta fucks and i'm like about fucking time! thing is that they're playing up the joke aspect and kiiinda took away a crucial part of him (his door opening prowess) but!! i think his friendship with ava and baby dancer redeemed him, the former being a nice change of pace post-tales and a good way to garner at least some likability (considering how unpopular ava otherwise is), and the latter having him (and the bl3 vault hunters) come to a girl's house, her revealing that she can't dance anymore because along the 7 or so years between 2 and 3, she lost the use of her legs, and claptrap still dances with her! because he manages to convince her that even though that may be the case, she could still dance with her wheels

oh and he doesn't charge her for any of this. at all. honest to fucking god this was a glimpse of claptrap at his best

tl;dr: claptrap may be totally pathetic and kind of annoying as hell but he'll still do what it takes to make people happy in any way he can, and while it's been used against him quite a bit, he still has a warm-enough heart to try again. thanks for coming to my ted talk

15 - that one thing you see in fanart all the time

maybe not all the time but it's quite often and not at all negative!

it's when people draw other characters sitting on him like a stool. i find it really funny because literally anyone could perch on top of him and he'd still be right-side up. bonus points if he reacts curiously

#responses!#releasing some bottled-up potential here THANK YOU #i er uh. went all out on the claptrap love opes lol #👁‍🗨#📺

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nny11writes · 2 years

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Just read a fic that I really loved parts of, and really detested parts of. It is a very unique feeling I haven’t had in a while.

#one part: god these characters 100% would do that #and one part: god these characters would 100% NEVER EVER DO THAT #Meh start #nice middle #insert Glimmer growling sounds about the ending #like the worst part is I see the logic #I get why they chose the path they chose and how they saw the characters doing/being that way #but also no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nono #the vibe just turned rancid for me personally lol #and I hate that some of it is because of hard headcanons I have for the characters #and head canons aren't /canon/ it's the fun make believe on my own bits #usually those squicks and bugs don't bother so much but combined with what felt like weirdly OOC moments #that were both too cruel and too forgiving?!???!?#idk #I needed to whine about it somewhere to try and shake the vibes before I go editing my stuff #don't ask for specifics about this I'm not sharing more #the author wrote something that I'm sure they like and are proud of and I'm not here to harsh their mellow #but I gotta vague blog since I doubt they'll see this and if they magically do I doubt they'll know it's about them

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masterjedilenawrites · 2 years

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I really enjoyed your commander thorn hcs and exploration of his character and I was wondering if you could do the same with commander cody? He's not underrated obviously but his character in fanon seems to boiled down to NSFW and codywan(which I'm not looking for a fight or scorning, it's just repetitive). And Canon cody is just labeled as by the book, loyal, brilliant tactician and cares greatly for his vod. Which is great and more info his character gets than other clones but it's not enough to actually give him depth as a character. I believe I've gone on way too long with this and I apologize for that 😅 I humbly ask for commander cody hcs when you get the chance and I sincerely hope you have a lovely day. Thank you💙

Thanks for this request! I agree that while we get more of Cody in canon than almost any other clone, it does still seem to be narrowed down to just a few "key points" and that's it. I'm hopeful we'll get more canon insight to his character with his upcoming appearance in TBB Season 2, but in the meantime, here's my take on him...

I don't think Cody is quite as "by the book" as we think... Sure, he scoffs at Anakin and Rex's more free-spirited approach to things. He probably wouldn't have come up with all the "roger roger" droid impersonation stuff on Rishi Moon. But I don't think that makes him like Dogma where he's all about protocols and orthodox procedures.

Cody has scars. He round-house kicks machines. He trusts plans made by subordinates. He openly rolls his eyes at the Jedi.

At the end of the day, I think Cody is all about duty. Not rules, not the Republic, not power... He takes his role as a leader very seriously and will do whatever it takes to uphold it in a noble and fearless way.

So if that means he has to fight a little dirty sometimes, or act a little sassy, or defer to someone else's better judgement... then he will.

He is as humble as he is brave; as creative as he is tenacious.

Whatever gets the job done. Whatever fulfills his duty.

And he carries this attitude with him wherever he goes, on or off the battlefield.

In his personal life, he doesn't mind sharing a few drinks with friends, or sleeping in on a weekend, or turning off his comm link for an hour or two of peace.

He's also not afraid to crack a few jokes, if they come to him, regardless who the audience is. Funny things are funny. Why not laugh about it?

He's not anal-retentive. He's not a work-a-holic. He can appreciate a nice day off or a bit of fun.

But he isn't careless or reckless. He's not immature or foolish. He has a good head on his shoulders and no amount of carefree fun will take away his common sense.

So if one of his vod is getting a little too tipsy for his own good, Cody will quietly signal to the bartender to cut him off. He'll make sure the clone gets home safely. And he won't speak a word about it afterward.

If a distressed neighbor comes to him for help in the middle of the night, he won't complain, he'll do what he can. But he'll also tactfully set some boundaries so the person doesn't take advantage, and so he doesn't get too involved emotionally when he doesn't need to.

That's why he and Rex get along so well. They aren't so different at the end of the day, not in the way their Jedi Masters are.

And that's why he was involved with The Bad Batch before any other Commander or Captain were even aware of their existence. He recognized their usefulness and supported their unconventional methods. And perhaps even mentored them a bit.

Deep down, Cody craves a simple life. But he is also smart enough to know you have to work for it/earn it.

He truly believes he is putting in the time to earn his peace. Whether it's a relaxing R&R between missions, or a care-free future after the war is over.

Order-66 obviously complicates that belief. And while I doubt TBB will dive that deep into it, I do think Cody will have some conflicting emotions to wrestle with as he is forced to rethink his true obligations...

Clone Tag List: @damerondala, @marvel-starwars-nerd, @dangerousstrawberrypie, @pandora-the-halfling, @misogirl828, @darkangel4121, @sobstea, @rintheemolion, @dionysuskid21, @jesseeka, @hanbedumbaf, @fallingforthem, @harleyevanstan, @imabeautifulbutterfly, @justanothersadperson93, @thatmultifandomdumbass, @sarahtanmarvel, @itsagrimm, @call-me-a-fool, @lackofhonor, @error6gendernotfound, @theclonesdeservebetter, @hannahhearttcw, @salaminus, @Techie-bear, @Lottiemoppie13

(Join my tag list here)

#star wars #the clone wars #commander cody #cody headcanons #general headcanons

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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New Romantics | Part Three

18+

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Categories: Fake dating, neighbours, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending, Smut *as selected by my poll on what you wanted to read*

Warnings: Season 9 Spencer (no Maeve arc), Angst, kissing, drinking, police training mentions, case details, canon typical violence, self-doubt, autistic!spencer, age gaps (24/33), FWB relationships, period mentions, anxiety attacks, crying, misunderstandings,

Word Count: 4.7K

a/n: this chapter covers the whole week from Monday to Friday, thank you @awrfhi for making the gif I used here <3

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Monday morning she’s in his arms still, and then again on Tuesday; he basically lives with her when he’s not on a case. They make dinner together at night and they drive in together every morning, and they have had sex all over her apartment… and he loves her but he was tired when he said it and in a post-orgasm haze and he’s her best friend.

But he loved her— just not the way she loved him. She was sure of it.

Tuesday morning at 10:53 am, she cracks her fake case. They’re apprehending the unsub by Noon and then she has the rest of the week off. So she heads to the main Quantico building, she gets a visitor's pass and she takes the elevator all the way up to the BAU.

She walks through the bullpen doors and Spencer is sitting at his little desk with his head buried in a book. Penelope sees her first, wrapping her up in a hug that gets everyone’s attention as she rocks her back and forth while telling her how much she likes her.

“You are so pretty, and nice and cute, and your hair smells so good?”

“Thank you, it’s Spencer's shampoo,” she laughs as she holds her back, “I just wanted to come and see him really quick?”

He’s standing beside her and she doesn’t even know until Penelope releases her from her grasp. He wraps her up next, “why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

She kisses him right on the mouth, holding his face in her hands she has missed him too much to wait till they are alone again, “I caught the unsub.”

“No way?”

She nods feverishly, “yeah remember I found that stray hair on the crime scene? Everyone was fighting over why there wasn’t a sexual aspect and I was trying to convince them she was a women unsub when the hair came back matching our victims best friend, who also knew victim number 1.”

He’s so happy, his smile is the biggest any of his teammates have ever seen, he lifts her and twirls her around and no one can believe the sight. Spencer Reid the uptight, overly smart, always following proper procedure, Doctor at the FBI; was spinning his girlfriend around as he kissed her cheek.

“You are a genius,” he compliments her as he sets her back down and places another kiss on her lips.

“I know,” she laughs, “I beat your score by one day.”

“I hate you,” he kisses her again and by now they don’t realize they have an audience. It’s incredibly convincing to everyone except each other.

“No, you love me,” she whispers, kissing him again before they hear someone clear their throat.

“Do you want to help with ours?” Derek asks, jumping into the moment and reminding them that they’re in public. “We’re just doing non-urgent consults today.”

“Am I allowed?” She lights up.

Derek nods, “I don’t see why not, as long as you just tell your ideas to us and don’t file anything then I think it’s legal?”

So she helps and it’s the most exhilarating thing since having sex with Spencer. She’s in her element, looking at small details and making connections that even leave Spencer humming and ha-ing. She has a younger insight than the rest of the team, she’s exactly why they hired Spencer in the first place and now she was shining brighter than him.

But he loved it.

Every time she made a connection or she had a suggestion that helped one of them on their own train of thought, Spencer would smile at her like she hung the stars in the night sky. He was proud of her in a way she hasn’t seen in many people before, filling her heart with warmth and hope that maybe he can love her for real one day.

—

She was possibly the love of his life and the more he saw her work and the more he knew her mind; the more he fell. She walked around his office and talked to his friends as if she was always meant to be there, and a part of him really wanted her to be.

He snuck away to go talk to Hotch, closing his office door as he sat down, “what’s wrong?”

“Y/N isn’t really my girlfriend,” he whispers. “She’s pretending so I could get everyone to stop bothering me about dating, and I understand it looks like she’s using me to get close to the team but I really do think she would be an excellent asset to the unit even if she was just in the office—“

“Reid,” Hotch cuts him off and a smile builds. “I already sent her an offer to take Anderson's job while he’s out on paternity leave.”

“Oh,” he smiles to himself. “Pretend I never said anything.”

“It stays in these 4 walls, don’t worry,” Hotch smiles back, “but you should tell her.”

“Tell her what?”

“That you’re in love with her.”

“I’m not,” he lies, “really, I do love her but I’m not in love with her, there is a difference.”

“I know,” Hotch reminds him. “Did you know that I only joined the school musical to get close to Haley? I did whatever I could to get her to fall in love with me and didn’t even realize it when she did because I was so worried she didn’t.”

“Oh.”

Hotch nods with another smile, “you don’t have to tell her until you’re ready, obviously, but you should tell her before it’s too late.”

“I will,” he whispers. “Thanks, Aaron.”

“Why don’t you guys head out early?” He offers, “we could all use a day off with the people we love.”

When he walks back down from Aaron's office, Y/N is with Emily and JJ discussing how she caught her fake unsub at school that morning. She doesn’t brag, she loves to mention her classmates by name and verbatim explains how they helped her. She is a team player, a genius, beautiful, kind… she really is the love of his life.

“Hey,” he places his hand on her lower back as he slides into the conversation. “Hotch said we can all leave early if we wanted?”

“Sure,” she smiles, “actually, did you want to come with me to buy a dress for your thing?”

“That would be fun,” he agrees, wrapping his other arm around her so he can rest his chin on her shoulder and hold her. “Remember I’m buying it so don’t stress about the price.”

“You’re too nice to me,” she replies.

“I just love you,” his voice is as low as he can make it but everyone still hears.

She holds him back tighter, in a silent ‘I love you, too’ and they hear JJ and Emily swoon.

They’re quick to get their things and head out, she hands Spencer her keys and lets him drive to the mall so she can relax, she’s done a lot today.

She’s so quiet on the drive, she holds his hand like she always does and she just looks out the window, she’s peaceful and content with the nothingness of spending alone time with Spencer. They were always just quiet together, sometimes they laughed till they cried and sometimes he could make her scream but most of the time they were quiet.

“Have you checked your email?”

She smiles as she turns to him and her grip on his hand tightened, “what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, I just told hotch the truth so that he could offer you a job, but he already had before I went in there but he’s a good secret keeper, believe me.”

“Oh,” her smile disappears. “So he knows we’re not really dating?”

He nods, “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I guess we’re going to have to find a convincing way to break up for them and still be able to hang out all the time,” she worries aloud. “Because I don’t want to stop this any time soon, I hope you know that. I really like spending time with you.”

“I feel the same way,” he agrees. “I promise, we can just tell them we work better as friends and they might believe us?”

“I don’t think they will,” she frowns again. “JJ told me not to break your heart today, but I feel like if we break up I’m going to break all of theirs.”

“We could have a fake ugly breakup, and not talk to each other publicly for a bit and then be friends again?” He suggests, “Penelope and Kevin did that.”

She nods, still frowning. She interlocks their fingers this time and she holds his hand instead of just anxiously fiddling with his fingers. She really doesn’t want to let go, and he’s almost convinced she feels the same way.

The banquet is on Saturday, she has one last week of school before her graduation and then they’re done. He thinks about asking her, about what would be the best time to tell her he was in love with her and ask her to be his real girlfriend.

Maybe he’ll do it after the banquet? Maybe he’ll do it after her graduation? He just really wants to do it before she meets his mom. He wants his mom to meet her as the love of his life and his best friend.

He hated many things, but as he kept glancing at her as he drove he realized he hated one thing most of all. He hated that he couldn’t love her as much as she deserved, at least not yet. He wanted to shower her in love, he wanted to protect her and care for her, he wanted to show her off and make love to her and never leave her side.

It hurts, his heart physically aches as he thinks about that. If he had to feel like this to know his love was real, then the pain was worth it. She was always worth it, and he would hurt as long as possible, forever even, if it meant he could be around her just as long.

He held her hand tighter in the silence which made her turn to him, he had no idea he had been crying until she leans over and wipes his cheeks, “I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too,” he smiles but he can’t keep the conversation there, he’s feeling trapped and so he changes the topic. “What colour dress were you thinking?”

The quick-change makes her laugh, “probably black.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods, “I don’t need to stand out beside you any more than I already do.”

“What does that mean?”

She bits her lip, “some of the people in my class are saying that I’m only doing so well because you’re helping me cheat and that I’m just fucking you to get a job… just like I thought they would.”

“At the end of the day, we have a friendship they will never understand, we have great sex because we want to, you’re smarter than me, and the BAU wants you… so who is the real winner?” He’s always going to be her number one cheerleader.

“You’re right,” she smiles again finally, “as always.”

—

He convinces her to get a red dress.

She hasn’t had a pretty dress like this one since her prom and that was 6 years ago. She hasn’t been to a party or mingled with people in just as long, she didn’t realize how lonely she had been while chasing her dreams until Spencer came along.

He was one of the dreams. She saw him talk once, years ago on a school trip, and she fell in love with him a little, even back then. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be him or be with him back then, doing everything in her power to get into the criminal psych degree at her local college, she just wanted to be like him.

Now she’s liked by him.

Every night he goes to his home across the hall and he does his own nightly routine before coming back to her apartment for the night. She’s too emotional to sleep with him today, she knows that if she has sex with him she’s going to say something stupid or cry after because being this close to him without being honest with him is killing her.

Something in him has changed too, he’s less scared to initiate contact, he doesn’t jump anymore when she hugs him or when she smacks his bum as she passes him. Now he’s wrapping his arms around her while she cooks dinner, and he kisses her cheek randomly when they’re in public.

He tells her that he loves her.

She’s confused and she has no one to talk to about it.

She lays back against her pillows and closes her eyes, she knows she’s going to cry soon, and she doesn’t know what to do because she doesn’t want to cry in front of him and he would be upset if she told him to not come back tonight.

The stress of the situation just makes her cry more as she stresses herself into another anxiety attack, much like the first night she talked to him. She just lets it happen, the anxiety in her stomach builds and the tears slip past her eyes and suddenly she’s sobbing into her pillow hard enough that she doesn’t hear him come back.

She jumps at the feeling of his hand on her back as he sits on the edge of the bed, “what’s wrong?”

She just sits up and hugs him, and he hugs her back and they stay there like that for a while. When she calms down, she pulls back from him and wipes her eyes, “my period is coming.” She’s not really lying, and he believes her.

“Does it normally make you this emotional?”

He’s never really experienced her mood swings, he has no idea what he’s in for, she nods. “Yeah, and I have really bad anxiety which just gets worse around this time.”

“And you’re not on anything?”

She shakes her head, “I’m waiting to get onto the good healthcare when I get a job with the bureau, I can’t afford to work and go to school, I’m glad I had enough scholarship money left to rent this place long enough to go to the academy.”

“Oh.”

She just nods, “I’ve never had much money like my parents have been saving for 2 years to buy plane tickets to Virginia so that they can see me graduate. They started saving before I even got in. I went to community college on a scholarship and I get a lot of money from applying for bursaries.”

“Are you going to take the CARD job or the BAU offer?”

She shrugs, “I’m not sure yet, but probably CARD.”

“Why?”

“I can’t work with you,” she whispers. “It makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be there like I’m using you and that all my work isn’t that great. I’m just Doctor Spencer Reids girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, imposter syndrome is a leading factor in depression among child prodigies, once you reach a certain age and you stop receiving awards for your work, it’s hard to believe that you’re still doing a good job.”

She knows he gets it, he has probably said the same fact to himself to calm down before. “Thank you.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

She nods, pulling back the covers and moving over so he can snuggle in beside her. She holds him, resting her head on his chest and taking a deep inhale of his cologne, this was the love of her life and if this was as close as she was ever going to be to him, she was going to take it.

He kisses the top of her head and holds her in his arms at just the right pressure to calm her down. She feels so comfortable with him but she still feels like shit, she doesn’t stop crying, and he just holds her through it.

“Do you want to tell me what’s really wrong?” He whispers after a while, he sounds worried.

“No,” she whispers. “I can’t.”

“Is it about me?”

“Yeah,” she cries again, “and I don’t have any other friends to talk to about us and now you’ve told hotch and I have no one to talk to about how this is kinda stressing me out.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” his voice is still scared and she knows he’s going to panic regardless and just send them around in a circle of constant anxiety. But his tone is more apologetic than one fuck up.

“Who else did you tell?” She sits up, “I thought this was just between us?”

“I needed advice, the same reason you are reacting right now, you’re stressing me out,” Spencer finally talks back with passion and she knows they’re about to fight for no reason.

“I never said you were stressing me out. I said our situation was, but I think I need to sleep alone now, Spencer” she’s confident and stern even though she’s crying.

“We can’t go to bed mad at each other. You even said the mornings are the worst, we can’t hate each other for no reason tomorrow,” he starts to cry, not knowing where he went wrong and she can see it on his face.

“I just don’t have what you have, and I’ve always been trying to copy you…”

“What?”

She sighs and wipes her tears, “I have had a big fat, fan-girly, crush on you since I was 18, I came here with my class to watch you do a talk on philias and phobias and then I knew I wanted to get into the academy and I wanted to beat your record and join the BAU, and I just thought; one day I’m going to be friends with this guy and catch bad guys with him and now I am and I’m so alone.”

“You have me?”

“I know,” she tries to smile, “but I only have you and I can tell you almost everything. Like my biggest stressor right now is that if just looking at fake crime scenes for 3 weeks has made me this anxious; what if I’m not cut out for this? What if I get to a real crime scene and I pass out or—“

“That’s only human,” he presses his lips together, awkwardly, and very Spencerly. “If you didn’t feel like this job makes you hate the world and untrusting of everyone around you; then I would think you’re crazy.”

“How do you do it?”

“I open up and let people in, but I typically wait till I’m at my lowest; crying in my friend's arms because I don’t know what to do anymore,” he smiles again, wider and toothy as she smiles back.

“Thank you,” she can’t help but tilt her head and smile as her heart settles and her brain calms down a bit, “I love you.”

“Can I kiss you or is that too much right now?”

She gets in closer to him, laying back down on the pillow and looking at him. They’re closer enough to kiss, and she just takes a moment to look at him, resting her hand on his cheek as he wraps around her waist and pulls her in closer.

“We’re okay?” He asks with his lips right against her, his breath is hot and he smells like toothpaste.

“We’re okay, but no more talking tonight, okay?” She whispers.

He nods, leaning in and kissing her finally. She knows she shouldn’t be kissing him, she knows that she should be mad at herself, but she also knew that even just pretending that he loved her back was good enough.

—

He gets called away to a case on Wednesday morning, he’s too busy to really call her and he doesn’t text back. He feels bad about it but he knows she wanted space to think anyway, what he didn’t expect was for her to reach out to Penelope.

She’s in the office with her on Friday, tired of Spencer ignoring her so she went to the one place he couldn’t avoid her; Penelope’s office.

“How can I help you today, my fine furry friends?” Y/N answers the phone with a smirk, copying Penelope’s line perfectly, they can hear them high five through the line.

“Y/N?” Spencer is the first to catch it, “what are you doing there?”

“I came to meet Anderson and see if I’d like to take his job or not,” she teases, pretending she wasn’t there just to bother him.

Hotch cuts in, asking the question he needed to ask before hanging up, “not sure what’s going on at home but we’re too close to cracking this case for schoolyard games.”

“Yes sir,” he nods and looks away, retreating to the other side of the room to stare at the map and pretend to find connections.

“Crack this and you can go home to her,” Derek whispers with a smile, thinking he’s helping the situation.

“That’s not where I want to be right now.”

“Woah,” Derek catches it, “what happened?”

“Nothing,” he’s quick to get him to stop it but he really wants advice, “she’s stressed out and she took it out on me and I wasn’t very nice back.”

“You said sorry and you pretended you were over it, didn’t you?”

He turns away from Derek with a nod, he wants to come out with it and get it over with and he’s so mad and embarrassed he just starts to cry a little, “I don’t want to lose her.”

“How could you?”

“You have no idea,” he rolls his eyes lightly and scoffs, confusing Derek.

“And I won't unless you want to talk to someone about what’s really bothering you, but you’ve been happier since you met her and I like seeing you happy, and Savannah likes double dates,” he scolds him with a smile, patting his shoulder lightly. “now let's crack this and maybe on the plane you will tell me what’s up?”

“Sure,” he says, but he doesn’t want to.

However, Derek Morgan is good at a lot of things, and one of those things is getting Spencer to calm down enough to tell him anything. Everyone is asleep on the plane, it’s just the two of them at the back together when Spencer finally feels confident enough to say it.

“I lied to you, a long time ago… and it’s just the first one.”

Derek doesn’t look angry, “okay, explain your thought process. I need to know how this pretty brain of yours works.”

He smiles a bit, “I slept with Elle the night before she shot that rapist in Ohio.”

“You did not?” Derek's voice gets a little too loud and they stop to make sure no one woke up.

“I did, but you still always made jokes about finally getting me some lovin’ and it bothered me for a while and I never told you, instead I offered to help my neighbour with her homework if she pretended to date me,” his voice lowers as the words continue and he only stares at the table between them.

“Spencer, I’m sorry,” Derek apologizes first. “I didn’t know I was upsetting you, is there anything else I do that upsets you?”

He shakes his head in a silent no, still not looking at him, he can't.

“What happened between you and Y/N?” He jumps to the main issue, fine with what happened because he feels bad for causing the issue in the first place.

“We started sleeping together.”

Derek sighs, “you have such a big brain, you can remember everything she’s ever said to you and yet you can’t see that she’s in love with you.”

“She’s good at pretending,” he pushes it away.

“No she’s not, because she’s pretending she doesn’t love you right now; the same way you are and you’re both fucking it up for each other,” Derek gives it to him straight. “You have always been loveable, but you have a very hard time accepting it, Spencer.”

“Yeah,” he starts to cry a little more.

“Go home and talk to her and tell her the truth,” it’s the best advice he can give and Spencer knows it. “What’s the worst that can go wrong?”

“She does love me back but in a few years, she realizes I’m too much and she leaves me,” his voice is the saddest Derek has ever heard it.

He gets up from his seat and hugs Spencer, sliding into the seat beside him and wrapping his arms around him, “you have never been too much. You just surround yourself with people who aren’t good enough to love you for who you are.”

“She’s better than me.”

“Which is exactly what I mean, she’s not going to leave you, believe me, once you love Spencer Reid for who he really is, it’s hard to stop,” he speaks from experience, thinking of what could have been between them if either of them had tried harder in the past.

“She’s the love of my life,” he confirms, “I’m never going to love anyone else the way I love her.”

They get the word that they’re going to be landing soon, Spencer wipes his tears and buckles in for the descent, avoiding everyone’s stares and questions on the ride back to headquarters. He’s nervous to see her, he knows his face is puffy and she’ll be there waiting for him with Penelope, but he has to do it.

“Would you wait here, I need to tell her now and she might not give me a ride home if it doesn’t go well,” he asks Derek before heading to Penelope, “she was already mad at me for telling Hotch the truth.”

“Okay, sure,” Derek smiles, reaching out a hand for Spencer, “come to me when you need me next time, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees with a small smile, heading out to find his fake girlfriend.

She’s not with Penelope, no she’s in the filing room with Anderson and the other temps all talking and laughing, and it sounds far too interesting to interrupt. He waits outside the door and smiles at her laughter until he hears it.

“So be honest,” Agent Camden asks, “are you sleeping with Reid for this job?”

“If I was sleeping my way to the top, don’t you think I would have picked Morgan? Or Prentiss even?” She laughs and it’s like someone stabs a knife through his heart.

He turns around and heads back to Derek, “take me home.”

“Okay,” he doesn’t pry, he just grabs his coat and keys and follows Spencer to the garage.

—

He’s really ignoring her.

She finds out from Emily that Spencer left with Derek, and that he looked rather pissed off when he asked for a ride. It breaks her heart a little and she doesn’t know what to do next, she just drives home and finds herself knocking on his door.

“Let me in, please, Spencer!” She begs from behind his door.

He opens it and looks at her with a puffy red face, tear-stained cheeks and swollen lips, he’s been crying for a while. “What?”

“What did I do?”

“You slept with me,” he whispers, “and I told you I wouldn’t react well.”

“Is it my fault you’re crying?” She asks softly and he nods, “do you want to tell me?”

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, “are we still going to the banquet together tomorrow?”

“I really fucked up,” is all he can muster, crying again as he closes the door and goes to cry in his room.

She just opens the door again and follows him inside. Kicking off her shoes she crawls into bed beside him and wraps herself around him, “you don’t have to tell me but I am here for you, always.”

“I love you,” he says it like it’s the problem before he rests his head in the crook of her neck and holds her back for the first time in days.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” she cries along with him. They cry until he’s asleep and she’s just there holding him in her jeans and she’s really uncomfortable but she loves him too much to let go.

“More than you will ever know.”

Permanent tag list:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @idonotexiste @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxomgg @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @gubeskneescrew

New Romantics tag list:

@bunny-script @ficsrecsforhrnybitches @ne--yo-pets @rexorangecouny @valerieweasley @beepbooptoop @coldlilheart @andiebeaword @anonymous-reading

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #new romantics

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burningarchitecture · 3 years

Text

My interpretation of L's character

I've been meaning to write this for a very long time because of how extreme the takes in the fandom can get. Sometimes I see things like "L was a terrible person who only cared about power and establishing dominance in the detective world " and I go 'eh, not entirely'. Then I get out of my little curated part of the fandom bubble and see something like "L was right and he deserved much better than Light. He is justice" and suddenly I want to shove the first take into this person's face because even though I don't entirely agree with it, it makes way more sense.

Anyway, this is a result of me reading to many things I don't entirely agree with and wanting to solidify my own ideas for myself. It's basically a summary of the version of L that lives in my head.

So the first thing we need to discuss is motivation. We hear L himself say he solves cases for fun and not for justice. It is the only way he can keep his mind truly challenged. The detective expressed this as a child and Watari essentially helped him make the hobby his career. The way L was removed from humanity and his intellect never made him care about the justice involved. However the first interpretation I mentioned will go even further and say that he solved cases to maintain his dominance as 'The best detective'. I think that it was a factor but SECONDARY to the challenge element.( Not to be cliche but yes, cases are a GAME to him. And the thing most important about a game is THE PROCESS. L hates losing but he loves playing.) It's also important to mention that the reason he became such an influential entity (and not like, just some private investigator) is most likely Watari who provided him with funds, and encouraged him to do so since childhood. So yes, while I'm sure L enjoys having his best detective status(bc of the freedom and power he gets ), I don't think it was what he would originally strive for. If not for Watari, L would probably have been some well-respected eccentric british detective, not very known outside the UK (and maybe a few other European countries), and he would be more or less content.

Okay, now let's move on to how he views people.

First of all, to be a detective (you have to know which spoon to use ddhjfjajdh) you have to be good at profiling & understanding people. Cognitive empathy, if you will. We see that L's manipulation tactics FROM 2nd episode and onwards rely heavily on the biases of the person he is targeting. This seems to be key to how he goes about his job (which he chose himself) so I assume psychoanalysing is interesting to him.

I think L views people a bit like puzzles, but most are sadly very boring to solve.

He looks down on dumb / naive people (Matsuda for instance) because of their ignorance.

When it comes to individuals who aren't stupid in his mind , he doesn't personally dislike or judge them for their qualities that are different from L's. Usually only gets annoyed when they don't cooperate or are working against him. A good example of this is the rest of the taskforce, whom L somewhat respects.(Even if he is super rude to them at times)

As for his social skills, L's good at psychological manipulation so I don't think he's actually really akward and bad at them. There are several reasons he acts abnormally:

1) autism that he doesn't want or need to mask.

2) manipulating others to believe he is more clueless/harmless/trustworthy then he actually is.

(it can be either depending on the specific interaction we're looking at)

Morality

People have pointed it out that L doesn't seem to view criminals as human, and we see it demonstrated in canon. It's similar to Light but I believe it's for a (kind of)different reason.

While Light is genuinely disgusted by criminals and essentially inherited this belief from his father's strong sense of justice ™, L probably took this belief from the system itself. It essentially doesn't matter what he does to people he is trying to catch, because when they get caught they'll be imprisoned or executed anyway. He doesn't really care enough to change this narrative so he joins it. L is pretty apathetic to the concept of justice anyway and just accepts the world as unfair.(unlike Light who actually tried to change it even if his goal didn't really work)

I've seen people call L utilitarian but I would argue, he doesn't really apply morals to his actions that much. He could see Kira's killings as an actual problem but if it is a factor, it's not a big one for his character. After all, He just went along with the fucked up justice system we already have(esp in some specific countries), even if he might recognise it as problematic. I do think that he *slightly* cared about the deaths of FBI agents tho. (he shows a lot of distress in that one panel. Most of it is bc he lost the round but still. L didn't have any reason to dislike these people and they wouldn't have died if he hadn't asked them to go stalk kira suspects. The responsibility here is not on the system but on him, and the people are capable smart FBI agents )

Conformity

Due to how detached he is from society, L doesn't need to conform to most norms. He doesn't need a perfect facade like Light does. This allows L to be unapologetically himself. Because of his status as The greatest detective he also doesn't even need to follow certain laws(which is kinda fucked up) . This freedom allows his actions and appearance to reflect L's wishes overwhelmingly well. So while he often lies, the detective still expresses many more aspects of himself, then the average person. L is allowed to go further with his ruthlessness, when ordinary people can only think of it. That's why I don't think he's fundamentally evil and very different from other people psychologically, he just has the power and detachment to express his darker side.

Ego

L's pretty self-centered, arrogant and very confident with his abilities. He does not need approval of the masses or status to prove it. Because of this, he is first and foremost driven by his want to win, to solve the puzzle and establish dominance in his mind, rather then increasing his popularity or showing the world a pretty victory.

L might also be narcissistic but I don't know enough about the subject, and I'm not narcissistic myself so I don't think I have any authority to speak on this matter. (And I can't form a solid opinion yet bc of my lack of knowledge) If you want to talk about this/have any relevant information, my ask box is always open. I really need to research this topic more...

Opinion of the two kiras(yes I am making this an actual section):

Misa: L finds her motive and actions as the second kira pretty dumb and naive. He's also irritated because she is a more boring enemy to him(but at the same time more dangerous) then the first Kira who is more intelligent, has a more complex motive, and tries to maintain a reputation by not doing literally anything to achieve his goal. However later L is surprised to see how obsessive, weirdly strong willed& loyal to kira Misa is around the start of the Yotsuba arc. Then his opinion shifts from complete resentment to also finding her extreme personality vaguely intriguing and useful. Although he's still often annoyed with Misa's presence.

Light:

L's first impression was probably something like: " Kira's morals are pretty annoying, however the case seems interesting and challenging bc of the murder method and scale. Not a fan of the killer so far tho. "

Then he gradually learns about Kira's intelligence, arrogance and will to play mindgames/taunt his enemy. Things that make L more interested in who kira might be because the detective has found someone potentially similar to himself. He doesn't like Kira in any way at this point but he is curious about this person and enjoys their rivalry.

When he meets/first sees Light on surveillance, L decides he wants the student to be kira straight away. It's the most fun option to him. He is judgy of Light's social performance at the ceremony, but I don't think he openly hates Light for it. In fact, he stops having any strong personal hate for kira/Light after several days at To-Oh. They're still enemies but he doesn't despise or look down on Light anymore, sees him as a worthy opponent etc. L essentially acknowledges this in the First ever friend scene. They're both lying here but the subtext is them saying telling eachother interesting enemies.

In the Yotsuba arc, L is dissapointed and annoyed with Light. He's generally frustrated with the case because he should have caught the Kiras but there's somehow a new boring one. Everyone wants to dismiss L's deductions and move on and Light's a constant reminder of that. His change in personality makes everything even worse, because now L has to consider the option that Light was only controlled by kira, second guess his deductions etc.. Also there's now an offended police chief's son complaining about L's methods and talking about his innocence. L is bored and pissed. He tries to taunt Light because he has nothing to do anyway. Petty bitch.

When the taskforce finally get their breakthrough, he calms down a bit and works more comfortably alongside his suspect. At this point he still tries to trick Light into admitting he's kira, but he isn't so openly pissed at him and actually appreciates Light's intelligence as a partner sometimes. Maybe he tries recreate Light's thinking as kira, and understand if he lost his memories etc.

(This is a generalisation. I attempted to make it non-shippy. Might write a proper analysis of them later but it'll probably be more shippy and biased)

Final thoughts:

I know most of these things have been talked about in more detail by other people. However I wrote them to form a more solid picture in my own mind.

I would love to discuss some of the mentioned topics with other people in the fandom. You are free to disagree with me as long as you're polite, I try to be open to new ideas. L is a very interesting character to me, and he can be interpreted in so many ways it's scary.

My fave adaption version of him is probably the musical one. It's similar to the manga, but we get a lot more insight into his thought process/emotions because of the genre. He also isn't molded to be the "hero", like in a lot of other adaptions.

Anyway, this is my first attempt at writing meta. I spent way too much time on it, so I would love to see some feedback!!

#this post is a mess but I tried.#death note #dn #l lawliet #meta #death note musical #death note manga #death note meta #misa amane #light yagami #death note analysis #I'm afraid this will either get too much negative feedback or noone will see it #I hope I didn't make to many mistakes..

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ketavinsky · 2 years

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right back at you then: are there any facts about your guy that aren't in wolf pup/that you could elaborate on !

@prince-of-noir hm this is. this is actually a little bit of a loaded question aye bc i have actually put way too much lore into this dude since i started wolf pup ashhsdhdhs lemme just chuck a read more here

noah xie is mixed, white + singaporean-chinese. he's a law school dropout who essentially figured that because he's so into philosophy and poetry and writing huge fuckoff dissertations about a Few Select Opinions that he'd be a great lawyer. unfortunately, he doesn't exactly have the uhh. appropriate ethics for it.

my guy is a huge collector. my tag for him on this tumblr is at cad (as in, ketavinsky.tumblr.com/search/cad, i was kind of calling him cadmium dallas in my head for a while, only because cadmium dallas is for some reason the placeholder name i use for all my prototype RELIGIOUS FREAK ocs, and i'm reluctant to let go of it now that i have the perfect religious freak oc. i'm just gonna say that cadmium dallas is his online alias... it's probably his twitter handle or something) if you're interested to see his aesthetic - i kinda wanna call it trinketcore? he's really into jewellery, embellishing and bedazzling and altering and uhh mutilating any piece of clothing he gets his hands onto, antiques, trinkets, souvenirs, FRIDGE MAGNETS. when he's at home he pretty much just sits on the floor because every flat surface he owns is just covered in bullshit and he has One (1) friend who isn't the kind of person to clean up after him even if she does love him dearly

god all he eats is candy. i know i touch on this briefly but pretty much all he eats is candy.

his favourite youtube account is channel 5. yes this is relevant. i dont know how but it is

he's like. 5'9? this isn't really relevant but i feel like i really emphasise how Small he is when i write him. he's really not that small he just has the worst posture ever. has a terminal case of gay people don't know how to sit properly as well

carries all his precious things with him wherever he goes. he's really into clothes with flowy/net-like material or sturdy canvas textures so he can cover them in literal hundreds of earrings, badges, brooches, pins, and he'll take them out of his clothes and stick them through his ears throughout the day. he truly values personal expression and believes that his own body is a doodle book for the story of his life. this is also why he tends to spend literally thousands of dollars on tattoos and then eat nothing but free sauces from fast food places and instant ramen for months

people that he admires/adores bring out the simpering sycophant in him, and he's a good friend if he warms up to you, but make no mistake, dude is not a pleasant person to be around. he has Very Specific Opinions about certain things, as well as a huge disdain for stuff like politics, social media, etc, and he doesn't have the social battery to engage with anyone he disagrees with. he won't even argue. he just leaves the room. he's overall a pretty quiet guy, and gosh he loves to talk about anything he's interested in, and he loves to teach people things and share opinions, but the moment someone tries to open a debate or even some friendly banter with him, he'll instantly check out.

a pure hedonist, obsessed with experiencing as many things as possible, including the negative. very good at putting a spin on all the objectively Bad Shit that happens to him to make it fun and exciting and new. the friend who goes "OMG GUESS WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY!!" and then spends 20 minutes gushing about like. the most fucked up experience ever.

this is mostly because of his upbringing, sorry to say. and this is where i pull out the family tree jashdhs

kiri is noah's half-brother; whereas noah is canonically around 21/22, kiri is 32. noah's mother, a huge horror movie buff conspiracy theorist and lovecraft enjoyer, disappeared when he was about 11, and noah was sent to live with kiri.

kiri is bound to the entity night (i also have a tag for him, btw! it's at, as u can imagine, /search/night, the rest of them also have tags at day, dusk, dawn, twilight. actually yeah everyone on this chart has a tag what am i saying. this is my oc inspiration tumblr. lol) as his human servant

night, the star-eater, the god of the oil slick serpent that snakes from the gutter in dark, is an entity who is primarily concerned with wisdom and abstraction, and as a result has a lot of humans who make pacts with him for knowledge or explanation of certain fucked up arcane things

kiri, being one of those people who's contracted into his thrall, was always around a whole heap of Fucked Up Shit when noah was growing up. noah's early childhood with his mother already gave him some... interesting ideas about the things that lurk beyond human perception, but it was being exposed to the aftershocks of the eldritch horrors kiri was dealing with for work that really cemented this.

noah never had a chance to be a 'normal kid' per se, but he maybe could've at least become a semi-functional adult if not for what he saw through kiri. these things are beautiful are the only truth are everything. additionally, kiri's tacit demeanour and tough/cruel love treatment definitely exacerbated noah's need for codependency and constant validation to the point of toxicity

but, y'know. he is a good guy overall despite his... many faults. or a kind guy? either way, he's not even really involved in this fuckshit cosmic opera so that part of canon has been nuked and now he's uhh. he's uhhhh got the worst boyfriend in the world.

oh, and he's a lucid dreamer!

really big into surfing and dancing, especially in techno contexts (will take any excuse to muzz. any excuse), and really just any high-energy or aerobic sport. if he hadn't been such a huge stoner through all of highschool he probably could have made it as a semi-professional sprinter. alas......

will never survive in a hospitality job because he physically cannot pretend to like people at all

his favourite colours are yellow and turquoise :)

#HAEFADHDHSHDHAHSHSDHASH #cad #sorry. this is so long. SORRY.......#he is now my special boy. id do anything for him #aw man i have so much work to do ajshhdhdhdhahshgadhsah OK YEAH HOPE THATS AT LEAST SOME COOL FACTS #prince of noir #prince-of-noir #how do i fucking. tag this

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