#and helped Eisley and was super understanding

[afterglowsims]

She was pissed Eisley woke her up so early.

[castleamc]

come what may

Pairing: Darksaber!Din Djarin x F!Reader

Words: 1.2K

Warnings: None major warnings, Established Relationship, Married Couple, No use of Y/N, Reader has no specific physical characteristics, SUPER soft/supportive, After S2, and anything else lmk! (not festive at all & 3rd picture is just for the sky and the dude)

Summary: Waking up from your sleep, you search for Din only to catch him practicing with his darksaber.

Day: 12/30 "Can I carry that for you?" | 12 Day Fic-Mas Masterlist | Main Masterlist ⭐️

You felt around his side of the bed longing for his warm body to help keep your dreams at bay. They were loud and threatening to wake you with the sounds of the trooper droids—hammering into Din’s helmet from the fight. It troubled your nightmares more than you would’ve liked days after the goodbye.

It felt like without Din by your side, your spirit became restless and hollow desperately clinging to him.

Ever since the Jedi took Grogu to help him train the ways of the Force, Din hasn’t been the same. Around you he kept you company, didn’t let you out his sight for too long, did whatever you wanted to create more memories.

Away from you, he kept quiet and to himself, you’d catch him struggling to put on his helmet or when to take it off. It began to ruin his dreams as well, keeping him up too late.

That first night back to Mos Eisley, you both were without a ship, Peli found you and Din a home to stay for as long as you both needed. Granted, you offered to work so that it’d be fair, plus you needed the distraction. Din couldn’t go into town, it’d be too risky, so he helped Peli on ships.

Returning home felt like an escape, you two could be whoever and whatever you wanted. It was secluded, away from the center of the town so prying eyes were nowhere to be seen for miles, and the perfect spot to heal in private.

You coped by keeping busy doing anything the shop needed, but sleeping, that did a lot more to avoid facing how you felt. Grogu wasn’t just a responsibly, there was no mandatory force of love with him, it was deep pure adoration for the kid. You loved having a companion that was able to make Din laugh, help him heal with his own struggles, and teach him to be caring father. He helped you understand, in his own little baby way, that there were more things in all the galaxies that could be explored. You owed so much to Grogu, but now that he was gone.

You were both left with open wounds that could only be mended by being there for one another. That was all you had left.

Groggily getting out of bed, you wrapped yourself in your blanket and headed out the back to find him.

You knew where he was right away, your legs moved faster than your mind did. There was this path already predesigned that required you to get up and go. It was instincts kicking in.

After losing one commitment, Din gained another that he was reluctant to take up. The Darksaber.

The weapon held great symbolic significance to the Mandalorian clans and houses. It was a beacon that had the potential to bring all Mandalorians together again, the force that would unite them. Restore its legacy and bring prosperity back to Mandalore.

Or what was left that needed our help.

You could hear the sounds of the energy cursing through the blade as it glided in several quick swings—it was dangerous and elegant. The moves circling on the sand were fluid, he was using all his trained experience to move with it with grace. There was no denying that he wasn’t meant for this. It looked like the more he trained with the lighter it became in his hands, becoming a part of him.

Quietly sitting on the sandy steps, you watched Din, he moved with agility, and ferocity with a hint of unresolved anger. The blade was close to slicing the bark of tree, but he stopped it right before touching a splinter.

You like to think that his training with the saber is his way of letting go all the sadness he’s endured. It was a temporary bandage on his wounds and if that worked for him, if that’s what he needs right now then you’re all for it. Yet, that’s what angered him.

The blade’s edge glowed and illuminated his bare muscles under the moonlight, he must’ve been at this for hours. Thought he kept his helmet on, you could hear the modulated grunts and huffs at every attack—clear as day. While his back was drenched in sweat and letting loose those muscles, there was something going on with his posture and hand grips.

A roll of his shoulders before he took position and the double readjustment of his grip on the hilt—he was unsure.

Before a spin, followed by vertical slash, Din stopped as if the bark of tree was an innocent person. He missed his step a couple of times which was rare for him. From all the cycles you’ve lived happily with him, you knew that there was no weapon Din could not master, if not, adapt to its usage. He was a survivor, not by nature, but by corruption snatching away his home and innocence.

He was holding back. His fear was blocking him, the same fear he expressed to you when he knew he couldn’t protect Grogu anymore. It piled along with the commitment the saber brings, he’s unsure he’s the one for it.

“He’ll always be with you. And I will stand by whatever choice you make, Din.”

With his back turned to you, he nodded with his head bowing down and the saber pointed downward, clenching the hilt repeatedly—testing its weight. He loved you more than life itself. The reason he trains with it is for you, to protect you and to make you proud. He knows it doesn’t matter where you both are in all the galaxies, if he looked down to his side—your hand would be holding his, always.

His chest heaved as his rib cage expanded from the exhaustion. “I-I’m not meant for this. I can’t risk losing you, Cyar’ika.”

You stood up immediately dropping your blanket on the steps and stepped towards his back. You pressed a kiss right between his shoulder blades and the deep curvature of his spine. His skin began to shiver, it was cold outside.

“It’s okay if you choose not to do this, it does not matter me. Your safety does and you will never lose me. I’m too hardheaded to let that happen.”

He laughed quietly, you would fit perfectly with the Mandalorian lifestyle. He retracted the saber as you turned him around to face you. You looked up to where his eyes would be, located behind the dark visor, he looked down at moon sized galaxy in your eyes—it quickly silenced his mind.

Placing your heads at the side of his helmet, you caressed the steel as if it was his cheeks. The helmet was his identity, all he’s ever known, that was just as important to him as his name and clan.

Din was speechless the first time you did that, how you easily accepted his way of life vs to when you still did the simple gesture as his wife. It was subtle, but meaningful to him.

“I’m not going any where. Whatever path you choose, I’ll be by your side,” you declared maintaining your gaze. As many times as he needed to hear it; you’d say it.

His hand reached up wanting to take off his helmet and talk to you as your husband, face-to-face, and let the cool air dry up the sweat on his face. You pushed away the matted sweaty curls and massaged the back of his neck, he always loved that.

A soft moan escaped from his lips forgetting what he wanted to say.

Your hand tapped the edge of his helmet and took it from his hand, “Can I carry that for you?” Like how you promise to carry his burdens as well and he to you.

He let go letting you take it from his hands.

Din felt his mind become lighter, quieter now that you came to speak to him—bringing in your light. You always understood what he’s lost, what the responsibility entails, and that there’s no way out of it. Not really at least. Not when his Creed, his brothers and sisters all risked to help him for his kid. This is something he has to do for them, to keep them honored and alive. For the future younglings, for Grogu, and you.

Holding the helmet between your fingers, Din rested his palm on the back of your head and urged forward to touch his forehead with yours as a sign of respect and thank you. Without his one true north, he would be lost.

Declaring to him in a faint whisper, “Your battles are my battles.”

He shook his head, conceding, “It shouldn’t have to be that way.”

Sympathizing with his burden and good heart, you know that it would take some time for him to learn that this new chapter in both your lives, would be dealt with together. Come what may.

Placing your hand to his cheek, you swiped under the bags his eyes, smoothed his cheek bone, and watched as he leaned into your palm, blissfully closing his eyes.

Using his own words, you vowed.

“This is the way.”

A/N: okay bestie it’s here lmaoskskakka @frenchfryfranki 🤲🏻 ilysm & Happy New Year’s Eve!!!

12 Days Taglist: @pedrostories | @beskarboobs | @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage | @lovesbiggerthanpride | @queridopascal | @thewintersoldierswife | @littlemisspascal | @mandocrasis | @lowlights | @outlawedmando |

12 Days for Din: @thevoiceinyourheadx | @terecord |

[harrisonsblues]

yes pls explain the premise of this beatles/star wars crossover i NEED to understand

Someone else also asked so here lol

Basically I don’t even have an idea for a plot yet just some vague ideas for where each person would fit into the story (so if anyone has any plot ideas please do let me know!)

So this would probably take place either between episodes III and IV or also maybe before ep I cause it’s easier to make up new things without them conflicting with the real canon story. But I kinda like the idea of this all happening during the Empire era so idk.

But the basic premise is that Brian is a Jedi master who works with the Republic/Rebellion, and one day he comes accross these 4 young boys who play in the band at the Mos Eisley cantina in Tattooine (it’d be the equivalent of the Cavern Club), and he learns that some of them are Force-sensitive so he decides to train them in the Jedi ways so they can help save the galaxy.

My idea was that all of them are Force-sensitive except Ringo, who is a Han-Solo-style-blaster-type guy. He’s also an excellent pilot, so he’s usually the one in charge of flying or doing anything ship-related. Paul is like the most devoted to the Light Side in his use of the Force (like he’s the least likely to be tempted by the Dark Side) but probably the weakest Force user. He has a blue lightsaber and would mainly use a more defensive combat style like Form II or VI. George has a double green lightsaber and is the most powerful Padawan of the three (I think this makes sense given his devotion to religion and spirituality in real life). However he has been known to dabble in the Dark Side occasionally, so he probably uses Form VII/Vapaad in combat (which Brian is not super happy about as it’s highly controversial). He’s also more prone to Force visions and dreams and that kind of thing. And John… well, he’s like Anakin Skywalker in a lot of ways. He’s smart, strong, quick-witted and powerful in the Force (although his use of it is very chaotic compared to Geo and Paul) but also easily tempted by the Dark Side, which would be a major plot point in the story. He has a green lightsaber which of course would switch to red if he ever changes sides, and I think he’d use Form IV of combat (an aggressive, attack-oriented style). Btw Brian has a blue saber and probably uses Form III, which is a defensive style mainly based on trying to read the enemy. He was part of the Jedi Order at some point too (like he was actually properly trained in the Force since he was very young).

Also I had thought that George Martin would be an Imperial officer (or the equivalent depending on what time period we’re talking). He and Brian go way back as they’ve faced each other many times, but Brian can sense that GM doesn’t actually want to be in the Empire, so eventually he gets him to join the Rebellion/Republic/whatever it is. So GM eventually becomes the leader of that group, a Princess Leia type of character. Also in the same vein as Leia, he might be Force sensitive but hasn’t really tapped into it yet (he might be able to sense big events like someone dying or a planet being destroyed)

For the villains, in accordance with the Rule of Two of course we would need two Sith, so I figured Allen Klein could be the master and Yoko Ono his apprentice? That way it follows that John is tempted by both of them but the others (especially Paul 👀👀) would try to snap him out of it. John can have a more individual battle with Yoko maybe but they would all face off Allen Klein as the final boss since he was a dick to all of them lol.

I’m also wondering where people like Stu Sutcliffe and Pete Best and the other wives might fit into the story, and how, if at all, music might be involved in the story as well (for example it being something that the boys and GM bond over, etc.)

So yeah if anyone has any ideas or would like to help me develop this please lmk! I’d love to talk about Beatles/SW headcanons omg ☺️

[vagrantblvrd]

Obi-Wan raises Luke instead of Owen and Beru, please.

Oooh, nice.

Because I am That Person I want to do the Satine lives AU (I haven’t finished Clone  Wars yet, but one of my friends has Strong Opinions about similar AUs).

Obi-Wan doesn’t leave the Jedi Order to be with her,because Duty, and all that with the war, but perhaps once the war is over he can?

But then Anakin falls to the Dark Side and it’s decided to separate the twins. Leia goes to Bail and Breha, and Obi-Wan is supposed to take Luke to Tatooine to be raised by his aunt and uncle, but.

Obi-Wan’s in his ship leaving Coruscant after losing Anakin the way he did and it isn’t a conscious decision really, that has him putting in the coordinates for Mandlore, doesn’t even register until his droid is like ??? and he sees what he’s done, and has this moment of oh, I didn’t mean to do that, did I?

He means to fix it, input the coordinates for Tatooine, a weavin winding path in case he’s followed, but stops to think about it.

It makes sense to take Luke there, no one would think to look for him, but the thought of leaving Luke, one of the last pieces of Anakin left to him to be raised by people who wouldn’t understand him leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth.

Regret, guilt, for failing Anakin so completely, and it’s like. Anakin has ties to Tatooine that someone smart enough might look into, might find Luke, but Mandalore? That complicated mess is all Obi-Wan’s now.

And it’s selfish, he’s being selfish, not wanting to give Luke up, thinks about the Order and attachments, but look where it got them in the end, you know? (His foundations have been rocked, shattered beneath his feet but if he thinks on it there were cracks, fault-lines long before that.)

So.

He calculates s winding, weaving course to Mandalore and goes to Satine where they raise Luke as their foundling, right?

They keep the whole...Jedi thing on the down-low, because ancient enemies but Obi-Wan and Satine’s inner circle know, because how couldn’t they?

Obi-Wan may go by a different name these days, but it’s close enough to his real name it wouldn’t take much thought to connect the two. Also, his face???

And Luke okay. Obi-Wan teaches him to control his Jedi abilities and such from an early age, but he couches it in games and play and all Mr. Miyagi with his wax on, wax off schtick kid of deal to keep Luke from accidentally giving away the fact he’s strong in the Force and so on.)

Meanwhile there’s an effort to dial back the animosity towards the Jedi, which meets with mixed results, because people. Also, also, over the years Obi-Wan encourages Satine to mend the rift between her followers and those exiled to Concordia.

Also, with mixed results, but with the Empire’s numbers growing it seems like a mistake to allow Mandalore to be divided.

They reach some kind of understanding, not entirely reconciled, but better than things were before.

In another meanwhile, Luke is being raised as a Mandalorian, and like Obi-Wan earns a set of armor.

But then!

The Purge happens, and in the chaos Luke is separated from Obi-Wan and Satine, the other Mandalorians.

He has his armor and a ship and the lightsaber that belonged to his father Obi-Wan shoved into his hands before they were separated.

Has to hide from the Empire because one thing Obi-Wan made sure he knew from a young age is that he couldn’t all ow himself to be captured by them, that they’d be looking for him.

(And on some lonely nights after the Purge when his nightmares seem more real than usual, some part of him wonders if the Purge happened because Mandalore refused to join with the Empire, or if someone found out about him?)

Anyway.

Mandalorians and the reputation for being fierce fighters and skilled bounty hunters and Luke is truly alone for the first time in his life. Little money to his name and his ship can only get so far before it runs out of fuel, and he needs ammunition and food to eat, and it’s just.

He finds work s a bounty hunter, and the first few bounties are part of a learning process. Thank goodness for his armor or he’d have been dead dozen times over the first month.

Still.

He’s been raised as a Mandalorian his whole life, maybe saw himself as an outsider because his Force abilities and the secrets Obi-Wan kept even from him, but he’s been training as a warrior his whole life.

(Pacifists, yes, but the galaxy is a dangerous place and perhaps more so for someone like Luke, so.)

Between the regular weapons and hand-to-hand and whatnot and Obi-Wan’s instruction with his Force abilities and his father’s lightsaber he’s quite the dangerous individual.

He keeps running into this Corellian smuggler and his Wookie co-pilot, and sometimes he turns a blind eye to their antics if he’s tracking someone else. (In return Han’s willing to let information slip to Luke, for the price of a drink or a meal, and of course he’d never say no to an outright gift of credits, so.)

There’s a miscommunication on a job, once. Luke after a bail jumper and this other Mandalorian with a silver helmet who wants the pilot Luke’s bounty hired.

There’s a bit of a fight, nothing serious before it occurs to Luke that the aforementioned pilot looked a little too panicky at the sight of the other Mandalorian to be fully innocent. (Also, it’s Mos Eisley. Innocent people are exceedingly rare here.)

It’s the first time Luke’s worked with another Mandalorian on a bounty, and it’s actually kind of nice. (Although he suspects the other Mandalorian may have ties to The Tribe, but it’s the least of his problems at the moment and the man makes for good company.)

Anyway, anyway, at some point Luke runs into Ahsoka - and he knows her. Obi-Wan and his secrets and she’s safe, she can help him.

At first she’s reluctant, because look what happened to Anakin, what if she’s resposnsible for the same happening to Luke? But he finds a way to convince her - stubborn like Anakin, if not worse - and she takes up his training where Obi-Wan left off.

She’ll lave from time to time because Rebellion shenaigans, and sometimes Luke goes along to help.

And then word through Luke or Ahsoka’s contacts about Leia being taken prisoner and important plans and they’re so far out they might not make it in time.

“I know someone who might help?” Luke offers, because he and Han are hardly friends (they kind of are though), and the Falcon is one of the fastest ships out there even if she doesn’t look like it.

So, side trip to Tatooine and Han is just “Oh, come on, you too? What is with today?” because Greedo and Luke being a bounty hunter and Ahsoka is super unimpressed.

Once Luke explains what he needs, Han is like “NO,” but Luke convinces him and Han reluctantly agrees (but then Jabba and that whole mess and it’s kind of a disaster getting off Tatooine but they make it so everything’s fine.

Before they leave though, there’s this weird hermit they run into and emotional reunions because Obi-Wan and he thought Luke was dead and what has he been doing? Also it’s very nice to see you again, Ahsoka, you look well.

Luke going up to the cockpit to give them privacy for their part of the reunion and sharing information and all that.

And then rescuing Leia and Luke in his beskar getting between Obi-Wan and Vader even though both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are incredibly not happy about that, but some people there were just going to let the sith lord kill them, and Luke is just how about no???

(Satine would never forgive Obi-Wan something like that Luke’s sure, and according to Obi-Wan she’s back on Tatooine still, so.)

Leia gets rescued and the Rebellion’s down a few pilots and oh, hey, Luke’s kind of not bad at that whole deal?

Obi-Wan’s needed as a strategist - and honestly, no one wants him out of sight after the whole thing on the Death Star - and Ahsoka with her Rebellion Thing.

Han comes back to save Luke’s life and Luke destroys the Death Star and happy ending for now?

But Luke knows there’s something about Vader and Luke himself that has Obi-Wan and Ahsoka deeply worried. (When he thinks about it there are a few reasons why that might be, but he does his best not to dwell on it.)

Anyway.

The usual Star Wars shenanigans but with Mandalorian!Luke with his armor and whatnot.

Confrontations between Luke and Vader go a little differently because of Luke’s armor? But the hand thing still happens because parallels or some nonsense, idk.

(Anakin’s not the only one who has to remove their helmet on the second Death Star and so on.)

Leia has mixed feelings about the whole Boba Fett putting Han in carbonite because Luke’s used the same method on some of his bounties in the past. (The violent dangerous ones that posed a risk to him transporting them the guild, though, but it doesn’t matter to Leia at the time.)

After the destruction of the second Death Star there’s talk, idle, unsure about forming a school to teach the next generation of Jedi?

Because Force-sensitive kids and there must be a better way, a balance between the ole Jedi Order and a new one.

Until then, Luke is curious about the whole Jedi thing, goes looking for relics and whatnot. (Maybe does some bounty hunting every so often, because why not.)

Satine wants to go back to Mandalore, help her people if she can and Obi-Wan goes with her because not a lot of reason to stick around Tatooine otherwise.

And then!

This call for help through the Force and Luke following it to an Imperial light cruiser and Din being very, very confused at seeing a Mandalorian with a lightsaber?

Is it like Bo-Katan’s Darksaber? Will one of them have to change? So confused. (Also though, possible concussion from his fight with the Dark Trooper, but yes.)

“Are you a Jedi?” Din asks, feeling that it’s a valid question because Mandalorians and Jedis and ancient enemies????

And yet.

Luke is like, hey, it’s you! Because silver helmet and remember that time we got into a fight on Tatooine? But also, also, hello Aunt Bo-Katan and friends.

Mainly though, Grogu who is kind of losing his tiny little mind because Mandalorian? But also Jedi? But Mandalorian???

And then shenanigans in which Luke is like, huh, about the Darksaber and poor Din who wants nothing to do with it. His adopted mother who wants to help her people but afraid they won’t listen to her after what the Empire’s done them and is like.

Strangely convenient, but he’ll take it.

They stop by the closest New Republic planet or outpost to hand Gideon and whatever other Imperials are still on board over and then head to Mandalore.

Din is still so very confused, but it doesn’t seem like Luke plans to take Grogu away and he’ll take what he can get. (So sure Luke will take Grogu far away at some point, but tries not to think too hard about that.)

And then the whole working at calling Mandalorians home - Din is super unsure about being the new ruler of Mandalore, but once Bo-Katan and Satine have a chat about the fure of their world they’re like, “He’s perfect for the role.”

Just needs a little help, and with them and Obi-Wan and other trusted people to help him, something great could come of it.

Luke stays on Mandalore - his home more than anywhere else in the galaxy - and he and Obi-Wan train Grogu. Ahsoka too, when she visits.

Once Mandalore and its people are more settled there’s talk of joining the New Republic, right?

Leia as the New Republic’s representative, and Obi-Wan one of Din’s advisors, negotiators and it seems as though good things will happen there too.

But!

Also!

Luke who grew up on Mandalore helping introduce Din to it? Teach him about this world he’s never seen, but is important in its own way more than ever now.

And little Grogu and all that.

Keldabe kisses in a courtyard on a night when Luke’s meditating outside, Din restless after tucking Grogu in and happens across Luke.

Understands that Luke doesn’t follow the Creed the way Din does, but he was raised as a Mandalorian and Din’s seen him in his helmet more often than not and anyway.

Luke meditating in the moonlight and while Din was worried he might have interrupted, Luke opens his eyes and smiles, something about it drawing Din closer.

And it’s.

There’s been so much Pining, but this is Luke, and anyway, keldabe kisses, and Luke laughing at Din being so flustered by it, but Luke’s laughter is shaky, breathless and really, the man’s a hypocrite.

Still, the two of them stay like that for a little while longer.

[introvertguide]

Star Wars (1977); AFI #13

In honor of May 4th and the original movie that started it all, the group reviewed Star Wars (1977). Nominated for 10 Academy Awards and winning 6 with one extra special achievement award for Sound, this is perhaps the most highly decorated science fiction movie of all time. The special effects and the music were especially moving making the Star Wars experience something amazing to behold. I was lucky enough to see one of the re-releases in the theatre back in the mid 80s. In fact, I might well have seen the film 100 times over my life. The music might be the most well known soundtrack globally. With inflation, this is the 4th highest grossing film of all time. It is truly a fantastic work and I would like to now spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it. Let me start with the usual:

SPOILER WARNING!!! I DON'T THINK THERE ARE MANY WHO HAVE NOT SEEN THE FILM, BUT FOR THOSE FEW THAT DON'T KNOW, I AM GOING TO RUIN THE PLOT!!! STOP NOW AND GO WATCH IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!!!

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Amid a galactic civil war, Rebel Alliance spies have stolen plans to the Galactic Empire's Death Star, a massive space station capable of destroying an entire planet. Imperial Senator Princess Leia of Alderaan (Carrie Fisher), secretly one of the Rebellion's leaders, has obtained its schematics (this entire effort was originally a throwaway concept but was completely fleshed out in Rogue One almost 40 years later) , but her starship is intercepted by an Imperial Star Destroyer under the command of the ruthless Darth Vader (acted by David Prowse and voiced by James Earl Jones). The movie is just starting and the odds against the rebels are shown by the scale of the two ships. Before she is captured, Leia hides the plans in the memory of an astromech droid called R2-D2 (Kenny Baker), who flees in an escape pod to the desert planet Tatooine accompanied by protocol droid C-3PO (Anthony Daniels).

The droids are captured by Jawa traders (little shiny eyed beings who are now meme legends), who sell them to moisture farmers Owen and Beru Lars and their nephew Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill). While Luke is cleaning R2-D2, part of a holographic recording of Leia starts playing a message for Obi-Wan Kenobi where she requests his help ("Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!"). Later, after Luke finds R2-D2 missing, he is attacked by scavenging Sand People while searching for him, but is rescued by elderly hermit "Old Ben" Kenobi (Sir Alec Guinness), an acquaintance of Luke's, who reveals that "Obi-Wan" is his true name. Obi-Wan tells Luke of his days as one of the Jedi Knights, the former peacekeepers of the Galactic Republic who drew mystical abilities from a metaphysical energy field known as "the Force", but were ultimately hunted to near-extinction by the Empire. Luke learns that his father fought alongside Obi-Wan as a Jedi Knight during the Clone Wars (another throwaway concept that was eventually fleshed out) until Vader, Obi-Wan's former pupil, turned to the dark side of the Force and murdered him. Obi-Wan presents Luke with his father's old lightsaber, the signature weapon of Jedi Knights. The connection between Darth Vader and Luke's father is explored in depth during the next eight films.

R2-D2 plays Leia's full message, in which she begs Obi-Wan to take the Death Star plans to her home planet of Alderaan and give them to her father, a fellow veteran, for analysis. Although Luke initially declines Obi-Wan's offer to accompany him to Alderaan and learn the ways of the Force, he is left with no choice after discovering that Imperial stormtroopers have killed his aunt and uncle and destroyed their farm in their search for the droids (cue the Academy and Grammy Award winning theme music composed by John Williams). Traveling to a cantina in Mos Eisley to search for transport, Luke and Obi-Wan hire Han Solo (Harrison Ford), a smuggler with a price on his head due to his debt to local mobster Jabba the Hutt. Pursued by stormtroopers, Obi-Wan, Luke, R2-D2 and C-3PO flee Tatooine with Han and his Wookiee co-pilot Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) on their ship the Millennium Falcon. As they reach the planet's orbit, two Star Destroyers try to intercept them, but Han is able to jump to hyperspace by reaching lightspeed.

Before the Falcon can reach Alderaan, Death Star commander Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing) interrogates Leia about the location of the Rebels's secret base, with the threat of destroying her home planet, and, when she answers that the base is on Dantooine, he orders Alderaan destroyed simply as a show of force. As the group arrives in the asteroid field that now stands in place of Alderaan, Han spots an Imperial TIE fighter and is taunted into chasing it and shooting it down, allowing the Falcon to be captured by the space station's tractor beam. Inside the Death Star, Obi-Wan attempts to disable the tractor beam, and Luke persuades Han and Chewbacca to help him rescue Leia after discovering that she is scheduled to be executed. After disabling the tractor beam, Obi-Wan sacrifices his life in an epic lightsaber duel with Vader, allowing the rest of the group to escape the Death Star with Leia. Using a tracking device, the Empire tracks the Falcon to the hidden Rebel base.

Leia's schematics reveal a hidden weakness in the Death Star's thermal exhaust port, which could allow the Rebels to trigger a chain reaction in its main reactor with a precise torpedo strike. While Han abandons the Rebels after collecting his reward for rescuing Leia, Luke joins their starfighter squadron in a desperate attack against the approaching Death Star. In the ensuing battle, the Rebels suffer heavy losses as Vader leads a squadron of TIE fighters against them, but Han unexpectedly returns to aid them in the Falcon, narrowly managing to save Luke before Vader can shoot him down. Guided by the disembodied voice of Obi-Wan's spirit, Luke turns off his targeting computer and uses the Force to aim his torpedoes into the exhaust port, destroying the Death Star moments before it fires on the Rebel base. In a triumphant ceremony at the base, Leia awards Luke and Han medals for their heroism.

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I want to explain the connection between this movie and the Joseph Campbell version of the hero's journey that so many people have pointed out. This journey starts out with a call to adventure that is refused and then forced (Luke is given an opportunity to leave, he declines, the death of his family pushes him forward, he leaves with his team). Campbell then predicts an initiation that involves meeting a woman and gaining weapons, a meeting with an incredible power, and an achievement of the hero's power (goes to star destroyer, meets Vader and loses Obi-Wan, gains power over force). The story ends with a refusal, a magic flight, a rescue from without, and a hero's return (Luke goes to attack the Death Star, Han refuses and then eventually saves him, and the day is saved so the heroes are rewarded). It is a story that is called the Monomyth and has been recognized in Greek myths that are thousands of years old. It is a good story that has been proven to work and it makes for one of the most enjoyable movies of all time.

There was some negative opinions of the film because it is such a simple old story that became extremely popular and film goers would no longer be interested in intelligent thinking movies. It is kind of the truth because blockbuster summer films are full of explosions. The highest grossing films since then have tended to be highly explosive action films. Films like Star Wars, Jaws, and Indiana Jones are a lot of fun, but they are not super deep. They are easy to understand at surface level, but they can also be interpreted to mean much more significant things. The choice of the viewer about whether the story has deep inner meaning or is just the Odyssey in space is personal and likely colors opinions about how good it is. Some people think it is stupid fun while others have actually formed religions around the idea of the force.

One thing is for certain, the formula worked amazingly well for a large group of people and this made movie producers want to copy it. This is what is generally called a watershed moment because the look of movies changed significantly. There were so many more space operas and they all had that worn post-apocalyptic look to them. Star Wars and Mad Max combined to give a different look of what futuristic was. There was advanced tech in some cases, but there was a scorched Earth that had run out of resources and people suffered. Think about how many movies and television shows there are that have come out since the 80s and combine industrial tech for space and distressed almost Western appearances for the planets. The movie changed the way many people see the future.

One thing that is inarguably great was the score. I am not going to try and describe it with words, I am just going to put links to the different themes here so you can hear for yourself:

Star Wars Main Theme (Full) - YouTube

Star Wars- The Imperial March (Darth Vader's Theme) - YouTube

Princess Leia's Theme - YouTube

Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope (1977) Soundtrack 11 Cantina Band - YouTube

This is somewhat strange for the AFI so I went back and checked, but I believe that this is the only film with a ranked villain (Darth Vader), hero (Han Solo), and theme song (Main Theme). Even if it is somewhat simplistic from some perspectives, the story and the songs and the sounds and the characters speak to those who watch it. Seeing the movie is an incredible experience and I envy those who get to see it for the first time.

I am a big fan of the original Star Wars trilogy and I could completely nerd out going over all of the little things throughout the movie, but this is not a deep dive but instead an overall review. So does it belong on the AFI top 100? Maybe more than any other movie. It is an epic tale that changed the way movies were made across multiple genres. We could probably look at all science fiction films and put them as before or after this one. It is an important piece of American film and (no matter what anyone thinks of the other Star Wars films or George Lucas) it is a masterpiece. Would I recommend it? I cannot say yes enough. It is part of my culture as a California movie nerd and understanding this film is understanding some of the basic knowledge I grew up with. All sticks are swung around like light sabers. If I say "Princess Leia hair," everyone around here knows exactly what I mean. If something is impossible but still needs to be done, we tell people to use the force. I have lived in the Bay Area for 20 years and I can still reference a location by how close it is to Skywalker Ranch were George Lucas worked on movies. Please check out this film and you will know why I am such a fan of movies.

[radramblog]

Star Wars Battlefront II (the good one)

My nonfunctional internet is preventing me not only from finishing off my essay, not only from watching the lecture that I would have shown up for were it not for mediary COVID restrictions, but it’s also stopping me from writing anything here that would require any sort of research or confirming details. That leaves me with less options that I would have thought.

Browsing through my Steam collection for ideas on what to talk about, and something jumped out at me pretty quickly.

Star Wars Battlefront II (the 2005 game, not Star Wars Battlefront 2, the sequel to the EA remake much maligned for malicious microtransactions) is a first/third person shooter that, while showing its age, remains one of the best games the franchise has ever put out. This is, of course, an opinion coming from someone who has yet to play Knights of the Old Republic, but it feels like Star Wars as a franchise has more misses than hits. So what makes this one land?

While I’m woefully unfamiliar with the early 00s shooters that Battlefront II was competing with (aside from Counter-Strike Source, but I’d argue that’s a different target market), I am extremely familiar with this one. I think part of why Battlefront II is so fondly remembered is on account of it being almost a gateway game for people getting into shooters in general- I for one played it extensively on my mate’s PS2 in primary school, and later on someone else’s PSP, and I doubt I would later have clicked so strongly with Halo if I hadn’t.

But what Battlefront II has more than anything else I feel is ambition. After the conclusion of the prequel trilogy, Star Wars’s universe was big, and the developers seemed interested in representing about as much of what we see of it’s style of warfare as they possibly could. As a result, the maps are a glorious smattering of worlds and terrains, loving and detailed recreations of places from the various films as well as a few that are probably new (I might just not remember them), each drizzled with vehicles and turrets and resources. Each of the game’s four factions share the basic units with very few differences (except for the Super Battle Droid), making them easy to understand and grasp for newer/younger players, with the complexity of each’s unique units paying off those willing to grapple with their weakness and play to their strengths. Some are definitely better than others, but that isn’t especially obvious at first. The basic classes reflect tropes seen in other games and while again some falter it’s not by enough that picking them in the wrong situation is a guaranteed blunder.

There are, of course, the heroes, major characters from the series granted to a player who’s doing pretty well, and I feel like this is another pretty well handled mechanic, even if a little awkward. There are enough of them, and they’re distributed enough between maps and factions, that they don’t tend to feel stale, and it’s pretty obvious that while they can absolutely ruin a team it’s also pretty easy to mishandle them. Unfortunately, heroes are related to one of my biggest complaints about the game, but we’ll get to that later.

One of the biggest selling points in my eyes are the dogfight levels. Now, I’ve never played X-Wing or the like, in fact my experiences with dogfighting games is extremely limited. But this part of the game fucks so hard. The design ideas begun with the class selection continue with the (admittedly small) range of starfighters you can pilot, with specialised interceptors, bombers, and landing craft to go alongside the effective all-rounders. The mode offers a variety of playstyles, between hunting down opponent’s fighters to bombing their flagships to boarding said flagships and destroying their systems from the inside. There is also the option of manually controlling the turrets, as well as acting as a gunner for someone else’s bomber/lander, but these positions are unfortunately underpowered and underexplored- they’re also, ultimately, less fun. But the dogfighting just feels right. I can’t really explain it, but moving in that 3-dimensional space feels not only satisfying but accurate to the source material in a way I don’t think any future Star Wars game has yet replicated.

I suppose the various game modes are worth discussing. Skirmishing on whatever map you want is the standard, at least in multiplayer, but there are a few unique offerings you won’t see in other modes- Hunt, where it’s a faction versus some of the series’s wildlife in a mode that always feels imbalanced towards one side or the other. There’s obviously Assault- the standard name for the space dogfights but on one ground map (Mos Eisley) it is of course the ever-popular heroes free-for-all, a chaotic mess but one where you can test out each one and figure out what their abilities actually do. But in the broader strokes, you’ve got the story, and the Galactic Conquest, as the two main other modes.

(oof, they really didnt build this with this resolution in mind huh)

That’s right, this game has a story, and it’s…okay? Ultimately it’s just a series of missions with the 501st, as they fight in the clone wars, turn on the Jedi, and ultimately become the Empire’s tool of oppression, separated by exposition. You get to run through some scenes from the movies, including the boarding at the start of the first movie and the Battle of Hoth, though some of the missions feel harder than intended- no matter how good the player is, the AI is not going to fare well in the tougher missions and you have a solid chance of ending up on your own.

Galactic Conquest is the game’s more unique selling point, being something like a basic version of Risk but with the dice-rolling battles replaced with Star Wars Battlefront II. You earn credits over time and through victory that you can spend unlocking types of units, getting new fleets to improve how many fronts you can wage war on, and unlock powerups for use in the actual battles. It’s largely fine, feeling like a bit more controlled and strategic version of just playing randoms in Instant Action, but it suffers the most from the biggest problem this game has.

The game’s truest flaw is its AI. They are dumb as a sack of potatoes, and the main thing holding the game back from perfection. And it was the early 00s so imperfect AI was to be expected, but it’s a bit more than imperfect here, I guess. Robits standing still while shooting you (or just at all, while you’re sniping them), extremely questionable vehicle and turret usage, and literally crashing starships into you, your flagship, or their own flagship. Bumping their difficulty up doesn’t really help, either. Even more egregious is the AI’s usage of heroes- or rather, that they don’t. If you’re playing single player, the game will always give earned heroes to you rather than your robot teammates, will not let one of them take if it if you decline to use the character, and you will never see one on the opposite side. This would imply that there wasn’t code for the Ais to use them, except there clearly is because Assault Mos Eisley exists- and they’re arguably much better there than in any other mode! It’s a real shame, because the low quality of the AI combined with the nature of the games means that victory is extremely polarised based on the player’s skill- if you bad all the way up to pretty decent at the game, your input basically doesn’t affect the outcome, whether you win or lose. If you’re good at the game, you will never lose at singleplayer, possible exception again being Assault Mos Eisley. It’s a little absurd, honestly. Also, I’m not even sure they go for the flag in CTF in space.

I am, however, willing to look past these flaws. The game is far from perfect, but it’s just incredibly fun. It’s a type of gameplay that they’ve tried to replicate, but never quite recaptured- and I think part of the reason for that is because the awkwardness is part of the charm. It’s nostalgic- both for those who played it when they were younger and just those in my generation who grew up on the Prequels. It’s also way more expensive on steam (bruh 14.5 AUD for real?) than I expected, but it goes on hard sales pretty often (I think I paid like a buck fifty for it), so it’ll be within budget at some point. I don’t know if I can recommend it for those who aren’t nostalgic, though, solely on account of those awkward features you likely wouldn’t be able to ignore like I do. And that’s a shame, because it’s not like they’ve made a better version of this game.

Fuck EA, basically.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

things that are absorbing most of my frustrations right now because the bigger things (i.e. accelerating fascism /authoritarianism/general awfulness at home and abroad, cf. Italy deciding to kick out all their Roma residents except the actual citizens that they "unfortunately" have to let stay, and Hungary passing "stop Soros" laws to penalize organizations that aid migrants):

my hands have been doing that thing a lot lately where little spots on my fingers and palms get painful and red for no apparent reason, and it's probably related to one of my mild contact allergies, but I can't figure out any potential allergens (or...much of anything, really, aside from my phone and steering wheel) that touch only my hands and no other part of my body, AND I've been wearing thin cotton gloves a lot to protect my hands and cut down on the number of possible allergens I touch, so I have no idea what's causing it or why it's been worse lately and I don't know how to fix it OR prevent it

my basically-brand-new car that I got less than a year ago didn't have super great suspension in the first place, which I sort of didn't realize but also I was desperate to get a decent car at all, and lately it's definitely gotten worse (like, I take bumps pretty hard and I can feel the texture of the road whenever it's not perfectly smooth), which would be concerning even if it wasn't uncomfortable...and this morning when I came outside the driver's side window was rolled all the way down for no reason?? there was no indication that someone had gotten into it so I guess there's that, but if this is another car problem that needs fixing, that is...also concerning

the $25 pair of shoes I got not too much over a year ago are literally falling apart so obviously I need to replace them, and Fred Meyer is the best place to do that, but after spending almost two hours there last week I couldn't find anything that would work, and then I did find a pair at another Fred Meyer that I thought would work but now that I'm trying to wear them in the office, it turns out they make my feet hurt (and I can't tell if that's the sort of thing that might change with some breaking-in time or not), and I don't really know where to go for shoes other than Fred Meyer

ever since I upgraded to iOS 11.4, I've been having major issues with overheating and battery life, and I don't know what to do about it

I got a new pair of earbuds from Amazon that were supposed to be decent for blocking outside noise despite being pretty cheap, and actually they were more effective than my other earbuds, BUT they included a little microphone with a call button and only gave weird mono sound unless I held down or taped down the call button, so I figured out how to exchange them from Amazon, and GUESS WHAT the new pair has the exact same problem (which could mean the problem is user error but like...how much user error is possible with a simple set of earbuds??)

thanks to my library, I can get five free, legal mp3 downloads from Freegal (because...free and legal) each week, which isn't a lot at once but definitely adds up; the selection is spotty but it's broad enough that I've gotten a lot of good music there, including--eventually--full albums from artists like The Shins, Thea Gilmore, Earlimart, Hey Marseilles, MS MR, and Eisley. RECENT PROBLEM: some (but not all!) of these tracks apparently don't play nice with iTunes, even after updating iTunes, so now I have a bunch of tracks that cut off 20-30 seconds early in iTunes but only sometimes do the same thing on my iPod and are just fine when played on something like VLC. Redownloading the tracks doesn't help, and Freegal couldn't replicate the issue so they couldn't help. obviously this is a relatively small thing but it's pissing me off because I really like having this source of music and I don't understand the problem so I have no idea how to fix it.

I could significantly improve a lot of things about my life by a) getting enough sleep on a regular basis and b) finding a better purse solution that means I never, instead of only rarely, have to haul around the massive thing that definitely worsens my neck problems, but apparently I can't figure out a good way to do either of those things

my period is probably coming soon which I guess helps explain why my brain is full of yuck

[woohooligancomics]

Artist Spotlight: Ryan Wellever, epic fantasy adventure

Welcome to the Laugh It Forward Kickstarter Artist Spotlight! Every day you'll meet new cool artists doing amazing things, so check them out!

Today I'd like to introduce you to Ryan Wellever!

Ryan is the editor in chief of Drake Publishing, an independent company devoted to bringing fantasy stories back to their roots and eschewing realism. This effort is focused primarily through the emerging Lands of Azrilith universe, to which authors can submit stories. Plans for media include novels, graphic novels, and magazine. Longer aspirations include video games, and possibly movies or television.

Ryan is a gen-x kid, living in his home town of Battle Creek, Michigan, where he was born in 1974. He considers the 80s to be the best decade for a kid to grow up, thanks to its wealth of cartoons, toy lines, and kid-friendly TV shows. Among his favorites he cites Transformers, Starblazers, Voltron, Super Friends, G.I. Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the oft forgotten Dungeons and Dragons TV cartoon adaptation. All of these, he says, were pivotal in his understanding of good and evil. Ryan also cites a number of non-animated shows like the Dukes of Hazzard, the A-Team and Knight Rider for teaching him about antiheroes like Robin Hood.

Ryan says these influences stuck with him through school, where the desire to do the right thing got him into his fair share of trouble, until his first few years of college when he majored in criminal justice.

Sam: I used to make the mistake most artists make when asked about my work, and get into the details like characters, plot and story elements. Those are important in telling stories, but I learned they don't really draw people in. So I'm going to ask you to tell us a short story about the more important question:

why do you create your art?

Ryan: My stories started off as ideas for gaming modules with TSR (maybe WotC by then, I can’t remember). Thinking I could sell adventures for others to play. I decided to use my friends as a test group. By the time I was even close to ready for them to begin the adventure, they had lost interest. So I shelved the project for a bit. I decided, eventually, on trying my hand at writing a series. It’s been my passion ever since. I have bought (and read most) every book I could find on how to write better, learning all sorts of things, especially rules to break.

Now I love the idea of creating a world for fans to read about and enjoy. A world that might one day compare to Star Wars or other large worlds that are heavy with story and detail.

Sam: I think role-playing games were important in getting me into story telling as well. Particularly as an autistic kid, I think the practice was really helpful in learning how to navigate social situations and consider other people's motivations, which is fundamental to telling stories.

And Star Wars is certainly one of the great examples of a byzantine shared universe, along with Middle Earth, Star Trek, Marvel and DC.

My second question is who or what has most inspired your work? If I compared you to someone, what names would you be most flattered to hear?

Ryan: As far as storytelling goes, I think Star Wars has influenced me the most. What I love about Star Wars is its scope. What I call, the "Toryn Farr Evolution". Meaning, as Lucas intended, every character you see in the movies (and therefore the books, comics, games, etc) is “somebody”. They all have a name, background, and affect on the story. A lot of the characters in Star Wars you don’t even know about, but if you do some research (especially for the iconic Mos Eisley cantina scene) it makes the story ever better.

In my series, I will not force feed the readers which characters they should like. I also would like, assuming it ever grows large enough to have a fan base, write more about the characters the readers voice out that they like. I think the idea of the fan base having, at least, a small hand on the wheel that guides the story would be neat.

Sam: Yeah, I've always been fascinated with audience participation and I think most great modern fiction has some element of that. I know a lot of people talk about how Lucas in particular likes to ignore his fans, but with a franchise the size of Star Wars he's certainly not the only person at the wheel. Even if you don't deliberately involve the fans, they're going to write fan-fic anyway, so why not get them actively involved?

What have you learned from your work? What advice would you give younger creators?

Ryan: What I have learned from the years I have spent writing, creating, and working on this project (in all its aspects) is that if you don’t work on your project everyday, if you don’t spend every available minute doing something for your project, if you aren’t making sacrifices for your project, then you simply don’t want it bad enough.

My video games, movies, and Netflix addictions force me to constantly remind myself, that I need to stop spending so much time in the worlds created by others (as awesome and fantastical as they might be) and spend that time continuing to create my world so that others can enjoy spending their limited free time, in it.

Sam: Last question. What one thing do you want to change about the world?

Ryan: One thing I would like to change is the World's current state of racism. Its the readers of fantasy and gamers that I feel are least likely to be racist. I feel its these people who understand and appreciate what other cultures bring to the table.

That's why our first release will be Series I of the "Fantasy Lives Matter" T-shirt line. Series I consists of 5 of your favorite stereotype races for fantasy games.

Sam: Thanks for taking the time for this interview, Ryan, it's been a pleasure.

To see more of Ryan's awesome work, check out his website. You can also find him on Facebook, and Twitter, and most importantly, if you enjoy his work, share this interview!

p.s. If you are also an artist and are planning a Kickstarter, you might find my Six Tips to Kickstarter Success helpful, plus links to other helpful resources. Also thanks to Andrea Demonakos who's handling the bulk of our rewards fulfillment to help our Laugh It Forward project go smoothly!

[uniquequotesonlife]

13 Things We Learned About Travel by Watching Star Wars

View photos Luke yearns to get away over a binary sunset. (Video: Benguitar9000/YouTube) Are you excited yet about Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakens? We sure are!  So when someone tells me they’re going to try traveling someplace soon, I give them my best Yoda impersonation: “DO or do not. There is no try.” With J.J. Abrams revving up the Star Wars hype machine again, it got us at Yahoo Travel thinking about how the original films are as much a travel guide as they are a classic mythological space opera. We see diverse lands and fascinating modes of transportation, all in a story sparked by one farm boy looking far, far away to the heavens with wanderlust. You don’t think we can come up with 10 travel lessons learned from Star Wars? As Han Solo once said, never tell me the odds! Here are 13 of them that will teach you a Jedi’s wisdom when on the road, inspired by the thousands of times I’ve watched the original trilogy (no dorks here!). One note: I’ve purged most of the prequel movies from my memory in protest to George Lucas, but I do include one romance-related reference to them here. Han Solo was the original Uber

(Video: Daniel M. Kobayashi/YouTube) Ride sharing was cool in the Star Wars films long before their geeky fans in Silicon Valley thought of it. Obi-Wan didn’t use an app to find Han, but he did go to a part of town where rent-a-pilots were known to congregate, and he arranged to ride a vehicle driven by its cocky owner. Notice any parallels? When Han found out they were running from the Empire, he even used surge pricing on them! How much more Uber can you get? Can’t you just picture Princess Leia calling CEO Travis Kalanick a “scruffy-looking nerf herder”? Related: Go Far, Far Away to See Where the New ‘Star Wars’ Was Filmed Also like Han, Uber shoots first at its critics, and it’s known to keep a secret compartment or two. We just hope Uber will follow his lead and learn that underneath that bad-boy exterior, the company has a heart of gold. (We’re not holding our breath.) One thing is for sure: Anyone would give the Millennium Falcon a five-star rating. If you must lie to customs, play it cool

(Video: Daniel M. Kobayashi/YouTube) Repeat after me: “These aren’t the Cuban cigars you’re looking for.” Maybe you shouldn’t risk it with American customs, but travel to enough countries and you’re probably going to need to employ some Jedi mind tricks against sketchy border-control people. In my case it was the officers at the Syrian airport six years ago, when I had to calmly deny my father was from Syria — had they known the truth, under law I could have been drafted in the Syrian army even though I was born in the U.S. Talk about going to the Dark Side. Pack a versatile wardrobe for any occasion

(Video: Stormcab/YouTube) We’ve got to hand it to Princess Leia — in addition to being the kick-ass, courageous leader of a rebellion against an evil government, she can really pick an outfit. When she was dodging Imperial starships in Episode IV, she was dressed in a practical white robe with that iconic hair bun; on frigid Hoth in Episode V, she wore smart layers. And when cavorting with Ewoks in Return of the Jedi? She was all about that camo look, baby. And all this was despite most of her wardrobe getting blown up on Alderaan! Preadolescent boys like me were most intrigued by Leia’s Slave Girl outfit while trapped on Jabba’s sail barge in Jedi. But we’re not going there, OK? Resist the temptation to have an unplanned wedding when you travel

(Video: Daniel Ard/YouTube) Hey, girlfriend, I understand how you feel traveling with that guy you’re dating. He’s tall, handsome, and saying super-romantic things such as, “I don’t like sand.” You’re light years from home and alone with this person, surrounded by digitally enhanced scenery. Sure, he had one bad night and slaughtered some innocent locals, and he hinted at his desire to become a galactic dictator. But just look at those eyes! And it’s like he can read your mind! Don’t jump into any big relationship decisions without getting back to reality and giving it some thought. Padme didn’t follow that advice, and she got married on the road to a future Sith Lord who knocked her up, then indirectly murdered her. Don’t go into bad neighborhoods by yourself or without telling someone

(Video: joncarr/YouTube) Luke learns this the hard way when he takes his landspeeder into the Jundland Wastes, chasing after Artoo without even telling his aunt and uncle. True, he wasn’t technically alone, but would you want C-3PO having your back in a fight? We’re not saying you should stick to tourist areas when you travel — some of the best experiences are off the beaten path — but have a sidekick and make sure you know exactly how you’d get out of a hairy situation. Luke got bailed out not once but twice when you include his kerfuffle at the Mos Eisley Cantina, but we don’t all have exiled Jedi Masters looking out for us, now do we? No, really, Luke … DON’T go into dangerous places by yourself!

(Video: schultzstudio/YouTube) Yup, he did it again in The Empire Strikes Back, only this time in the snow at his tauntaun’s expense. Luke gets bailed out more times than American banks. If you’re traversing any desolate, icy terrain, have someone to help you fight off Wampa creatures so Han Solo doesn’t need to rescue you. When traveling with the boss, DO NOT slack off

(Video: DRMMRI14/YouTube) It might start with sleeping in before the conference. Then you have a couple too many drinks at the hotel bar and embarrass yourself. Before you know it, you’re pulling out of hyperspace too close and letting your sworn enemies know you’re there. Then this happens, and you’ve failed your boss for the last time. And remember, the Emperor is not as forgiving as he is. Don’t crash at a friend’s house unless you’re on good terms

(Video: Canale di BenguitarBis/YouTube) We understand Han and the gang didn’t exactly have an Airbnb search at their disposal while ducking Star Destroyers in The Empire Strikes Back. But by his own admission he didn’t trust his frenemy Lando and hadn’t spoken with him lately, yet he chose to fly to Bespin anyway. All that got him was betrayal, electroshock torture, and a frozen date with Boba Fett. Lando did redeem himself by saving Han, but still. A general rule: If it’s been more than a couple of years since you talked to the person, don’t ask to crash with them if you don’t fully trust them.   Back up your photos and video as you travel … just in case you’re attacked by a Star Destroyer

(Video: QuoteTheGuy/YouTube) When most of us travel, we accumulate files that we can’t risk losing: a photo of that glorious beach sunset, a video of your kids playing in a Parisian fountain, a blueprint to destroy the same Death Star that blew up your home planet. You know, typical souvenirs. Princess Leia knows this, as demonstrated by the way she quickly reacted to Darth Vader’s boarding party by saving the Rebel plans inside the most reliable flash drive in the galaxy, R2-D2. Even if you don’t have an astromech droid handy, carry a USB memory stick with lots of space. You can find Zen in exotic places … with the right instructor

GIF11 (Video: Canale di BenguitarBis/YouTube) Luke Skywalker was not into glamping. He flew to an ugly swamp to learn how to untap his spiritual potential from a cranky old guide who was on his back all the time. But what a guide Yoda was, and despite a frustrating start and that one bad trip where he saw his evil father’s face as his own, Luke emerged a far stronger and wiser person ready to take on the universe. Plus Yoda showed him how to get your vehicle out of the mud. When you’re shopping at a mobile flea market in the desert, inspect the merchandise closely

Would you buy a droid from these guys? (Courtesy: Wookieepedia) While the pre-Jedi Luke Skywalker was trying to whine his way out of the Jawa market — “But I was going to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!”— Uncle Owen was the one who questioned and picked out C-3P0, the most overqualified farm droid ever, because Threepio spoke the right language. This was the right call. On the other hand, Owen passed on R2-D2 for that defective red look-alike droid without a good inspection. Thankfully the droid broke down on the spot, so they were able to exchange it for Luke’s future X-Wing copilot. Related: Eye Massagers and Star Wars Toasters — Odd Gifts From SkyMall for the Holiday Season Really, Owen and Luke should have known better. It’s not like the Jawas were Amazon, with a credible return policy: They were fly-by-night merchants. When you’re traveling through a foreign town and dealing with a street vendor you’ll never see again, you need to trust but verify. Be friendly with the locals and they may help you out of a jam

The cutest secret weapons you ever saw. (Courtesy: Wookieepedia) I tried going through this article without an Ewok reference — they’re my least favorite part of the original movies, and it’s hard to believe that a family of teddy bears could take down the Empire. Still, there’s a lesson to be learned here: While the Empire threatened the Ewoks, Leia befriended them, which swung the odds in the Rebels’ favor in the Battle of Endor. A parsec is a measurement of travel time … or is it? We confess, we’re not sure what the lesson is here, but it needs to be said in any mention of Star Wars and travel. As Han Solo tries to price-gouge Obi-Wan and Luke for a ride on the Falcon, he brags that his ship is so fast, it “made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.” Only thing is, a parsec is a unit of distance, not time. It’s kind of like saying, “My car is so fast, I drove from San Francisco to Los Angeles in less than 400 miles!” Either this was a rookie math mistake by George Lucas, a con attempt by Han, or something else: Han shortening the Kessel Run from 18 parsecs to 12 by bravely flying close to black holes. We’ll probably never know, and nerds like me will be debating it years from now in our nursing homes. source Read the full article

[chorusfm]

Sherri DuPree-Bemis of Eisley

I had the opportunity to interview Sherri DuPree-Bemis from the band Eisley.  We chatted about how she has developed as an artist, her family life on the road, and took a deeper dive into their upcoming acoustic record, I’m Only Dreaming…Of Days Long Past, available everywhere on July 20th via Equal Vision Records. Thank you for the opportunity to interview you today. Tell me a little bit about what you and the group have been working on since the release of 2017’s I’m Only Dreaming? The acoustic record is the biggest thing we’ve worked on since then but I’m about to start writing for the next album… just for fun. We won’t be recording this year, but hopefully in 2019! I’m so excited. Sherri, you have become a vocal leader in music for not only female artists, but in this scene in general. What have you learned about your evolution as not an artist, but also as a role model for other aspiring artists? My husband (Max) is always telling me I’m a role model and I shoo him off. It’s humbling to think that people look up to me just for being myself and following my passions. I guess the biggest thing I’ve learned about myself is that I can never stop doing music. There was a time when Eisley went through a bunch of changes and members left to pursue their families and other dreams and I was really concerned about the prospect of losing what I had helped build since I was 14… forever. I was devastated. But I soon realized there was no way I was going to let it go. I learned that no one can take music away from me but myself. That was a pretty cool revelation I guess. I decided that if I wanted to do it, I would just DO IT – circumstances be damned. I understand you have three children with Max Bemis (from Say Anything). How have you been able to juggle being a parent as well as fitting in time to devote to your music? It’s funny you ask… just today we hired our first personal family assistant to help us juggle all of it! She’s amazing! But for the past 5 years we’ve worked really hard and been 100% committed to making both of the bands work while always making the family the priority. It’s the driving force in all of our decisions and choices. Also, you just have to ask for help! Don’t be afraid. People are always willing to hold a baby while you work on a song, or respect the fact that you need to do an interview at midnight because you have a newborn baby. It helps that my dad manages both of our bands. Also, the fact that we’re both in bands has only ever been a blessing. We work out our touring schedules so we can travel together because, honestly, that’s key. If we couldn’t be together, we wouldn’t do this. How would you describe your approach to songwriting? How has this evolved over your career? It honestly hasn’t evolved much since I started writing at age fourteen. I’ve always just picked up a guitar or sat down at a piano… would just start messing around. The first thing I usually do is to sing a bunch of nonsense until I hone in on a melody I love and the lyrics are typically inspired by how the melody makes me feel. When we go into the writing cycle for the next album, I plan on trying some new approaches. I’m hoping that will shake things up in a good way. I always want to push myself and not just play it safe by defaulting to my same old tricks. I have a really hard time writing in front of people and I’d love to get past that. I also believe I heard that Eisley and Say Anything plan on doing many more tours together. What have you learned about each of your fan-bases and how would you describe each? Definitely! Fans have been so supportive of our relationship and how we have both, somewhat, incorporated our own thing into each other’s music. I guess that’s bound to happen when your biggest musical crush is your husband or your wife. We seriously have the best, and most loving fans. I know everyone says that, but ours are really something special. They love our whole family, not just the music that we create. How have the kids enjoyed being on tour with their rockstar Mom and Dad? What memories do you and Max hope they will remember and cherish over the years? They LOVE it. They eat it up like candy. It’s really a family dynamic on the bus, whether it’s a Say Anything tour or an Eisley tour. We go find parks or children’s museums in every city… plus let them run around the venue, watch the shows. Touring has really helped us nurture amazing social skills in the kids as well as helped them with self-confidence. We love that they get to watch their parents working super hard, following their dreams and expressing themselves creatively every night. I can only imagine and dream about what they’ll accomplish in their own lives. Let’s transition now to your new acoustic album, due out on July 20th via Equal Vision Records, entitled I’m Only Dreaming Of… Days Long Past. What was it like work with a great producer such as Will Yip and how did he push you creatively? Will is my hero. I’ve never worked with anyone that pushed me as hard as he did – both as a songwriter, and as a vocalist! Also, we’ve gained a lifelong friend in the process. But yeah, seriously, he would nearly drive me to tears trying to get the least flawed, best vocal takes. But that’s why he’s the best; he sees the highest potential in people and pushes them until they let it out. It’s my favorite Eisley album to date and so much of that has to do with his amazing production/engineering skills. Why did you pick this particular album (2017’s, I’m Only Dreaming), or moment in your career to record a full acoustic album? I think it was just fresh on our minds and we felt inspired to reinvent it. Garron was the mastermind it. He had so many brilliant ideas and knew how to see them to fruition. The first single, “A Song for the Birds” is beautifully composed and sung. Can you tell me a little bit more about this song in particular and what it means to you? It’s a love song to my husband in one sense. On the original track on ‘I’m Only Dreaming,’ he helped pen some of the lyrics and sang the second verse as well. But I was also writing it as a love letter – a thank you to our fans for always being there, for always singing with us and letting us into their lives. They inspire me so much. Do you intend to tour in support of this acoustic album, and what can fans expect when they come to see these songs? Do you have any other song arrangements planned for other songs in your back catalog? We don’t have any tours planned for this particular album, but definitely – yes, more tours are in the future. Always! I had our first son in February so we decided to put 2018 touring on the back burner. But we always plan on doing new and fun stuff and incorporating old fan favorites in new ways! Last question for you, Sherri. What has been your greatest professional accomplishment at this point in your career, and what do you see in the future for yourself and your music? Honestly, I feel like one of my greatest accomplishments is our ‘I’m Only Dreaming’ record. It was the most self-empowering experiences of my musical life. I had TONS of self-doubt. After we went through all of the band changes, I honestly felt like, “how can I ever write an album without my sisters and brother!? I’m not good enough. I can’t do this…” But with Garron and Will’s help, we made my favorite album to date. I could NOT have done it without them, and really everyone around me encouraging me (including my family). I learned a lot about myself through that process; I pushed really hard and learned what I was capable of accomplishing as an artist. I don’t think I ever really believed in myself until I finally sat down and listened to the entire, completed album. That was huge for me. I hope I’ll have even more confidence and passion on the next album! Thanks for your time, and we look forward to hearing what’s in store for Eisley in 2019! --- Please consider supporting us so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/interviews/sherri-dupree-bemis-of-eisley-2/

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Star Wars Episode 2: A rediscovery

OK... at this point, I’ve reviewed in series: 

Rogue One Ep4: A New Hope Ep5: Empire Strikes Back Ep1: Phantom Menace

And boy, I am not excited for Episode 2. Still, I’m ready to give it a chance. 

What happens when I do this is, I watch a movie that improves upon the effort in Episode 1. You can sense here that George Lucas took a lot of the criticisms to heart, maybe even ceded some control to others whom he trusts. Jar Jar is significantly toned down, the spectacle is there but the mystery and darkness is turned up a bit. 

Still, we have a mostly flat movie. Only one “9″ scene and really it’s just the visuals, which have always been Star Wars’s strength. And, we are introduced to George Lucas’s Awkward Teenager Fantasy of a Space Romance (tm) featuring a horribly directed Hayden Christensen and a bewilderingly amenable Natalie Portman. Like, at no time at all in this movie does it make sense that Padme should be falling for this petulant, whiny, and kind of creepy kid... unless we simply assume that she kind of sucks, too. 

Despite John Williams again trying to save the day (and this romance) with a score that soars to beauteous heights with Across the Stars, the film definitely fails here. The infamous “sand” line, etc etc etc all to come. 

Lastly, we get an incredibly hokey and just inexcusably bad Gladiator style setpiece. 1′s and 2′s abound. The end result is a film that kind of flops on the main plot points and otherwise just plods the prequel plots forward, setting up an ep3 that might well have been made into three movies since it’s the only prequel that is interesting or ties to the originals in any satisfactory way. 

On to the scores. 

Average score: 5.48 Standard deviation: 2.07

Scroll. 7. This whole scroll made me say, “I guess...” Like, fine, I guess Count Dooku is a necessary new Sith character. I guess the Republic needs to create an army to help the Jedi... None of it makes me that excited. Appropriate omen for the rest of the movie. 

Approaching Coruscant. 6. Very pretty ship. Very pretty cloudy day on Coruscant. Terrorist attack! Holy shit! Hollywood dramatic death of the decoy getting killed, bad directing/acting by Amidala. I wrote, “woof.” talk about botching an interesting idea. 

Palpatine and Jedi. 7. More expository scenes here. “Dooku was behind it.” Sure, whatever. Keep republic together, sure, whatever. Yoda is fine. Samuel L is bad (must be the directing...). Palpatine scheming is just sort of Meh. 

Obiwan and Anakin. 8. Not too bad, to be honest. Ewan does well, he’s turning up his “Alec Guinness” knobs quite well. 

Jarjar / Padme, re-meet Anakin. 7. Damn, Amidala friendzones Anakin immediately. Anakin less good in this scene vs. with Obiwan. But the tension here actually makes sense.  I wrote, “I’m OK with it.” Jarjar, man. Boo. 

Worm assassination attempt, city chase. 6. This was supposed to be a big sexy setpiece and I was not loving it. Pretty imagery - very bladerunner - but Anakin’s “not another lecture” and subsequent arrogance during the chase scene means I really can’t understand how the Jedi didn’t see this coming. He’s a total prick. On top of that, one basejump from a speeder down 500 feet to another moving speeder *might* have been excusable, but two? And Obiwan catching a lightsaber out of nowhere? Plus, we get bad alien cutscenes. They go to a bar and there’s robot football on in the background, and that’s just a SMH / facepalm type stupid easter egg. Wasn’t into the cigarettes / “death sticks” line that much either. Anakin as a detective is a “meh.” Just... lots of falling flat going on here. 

Jedi Council and Palpatine. 8. Obiwan tracks down the bountyhunter-assassin and Anakin gets to guard the Senator. So, I actually think this is starting to set up Anakin’s turn pretty well. Palpatine is subtly sowing confusion, discord in Anakin’s mind. The council shows serious flaws in trying to spy on Palpatine via Anakin. Palpatine can appeal to Anakin’s ego. Again, the Jedi really were pretty stupid, which I guess we just have to believe (and call-forward to Episode 8, Luke’s POV). 

Jarjar becomes senator. 3. Copy-pasting my notes: “bad. why is anakin monologuing? padme is just sitting there. anakin temper tantruming for no reason. anakin a little rapey.”

Refugees. 3. I skipped over this scene accidentally and that would have been appropriate. Anakin and Padme stilted banter is bad. “At least we have R2! ha, ha, ha!” Good music (as always, JW). 

Diner. 5. Obiwan goes to see an “old friend.” They give a big alien a mustache and have him talk like a Chicago line cook. Gimme a big “meh!” Gotta go to the outer rim to meet some cloners. hurray. 

Library. 7. Jedi archivist arrogance. The mystery deepens - no system is there where the cloners are supposed to be! zomg. But this is all fine, and almost decent with deepening the mystery. 

Padme and Anakin refugee dinner. 7. Kind of as painful as watching someone’s first date at a bar while waiting for a friend. “Attachment is forbidden but we’re encouraged to love unconditionally” and a bunch of other hoke. Anakin is persistent. Still, not a bad scene. 

Jedi training w/ Yoda. 7. A little hokey how Yoda asks the padawan kids to guess at why there’s no system in the archives. A bad yoda chin scratch. A little hokey, but good. 

Back on Naboo. 4. Good music. Dialogue between Anakin and Padme continues to be pretty rough. “Keep our faith in the republic.” More politics. Lake country. Anakin and Padme tension is dumb. 

Camino. 7. Bad name, cool scene. Good mystery unfolding... why is Obi-Wan expected? What are all these soldiers doing here, who ordered them, what’s going on? Kind of clunky revealing dialogue and the CGI is a bit out of hand but also decently cool. I wrote: “I’m OK with the secret army storyline.” 

Lake country on Naboo. 2-6.  Padme is smoking hot. Beautiful scenes here, but then we get this gem: "I don't like sand. it's coarse, rough, irritating... gets everywhere. Here, everything's soft and smooth." Anakin is such a douche. Padme lets him kiss her, but why? Not sure i'm buying this shit. Love song (Across the Stars) is amazing. Beautiful waterfall. But then they dissect their first kiss. mehhhhh. Let's talk politics at a picnic? No. "Make people agree." Anakin is authoritarian and sort of evil. How could she fall in love with this dude? Then he surfs a cow. No. Now they’re rolling around in the grass. No. No thanks.

Django and Boba on Camino. 8. One of the better and subtler scenes maybe in the whole series for acting. Obi-wan and Django do a great job of dancing around each other verbally while sizing each other up. 

Anakin-Padme Dinner / Wooing. 3. God, I wish I didn’t have so much to say about this tripe, but I do. I guess i'm fine with wooing Padme with Jedi tricks... But I still don't really buy the love story. And now we get lines like: "I'm in agony. the closer I get the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you." Suuuuuper creepy. “Haunted by the kiss you should have never given me.” “You are in my very soul tormenting me.” Honestly! This is like The Room. "THEN YOU DO FEEL SOMETHING!!!" Just a bad scene overall. Now Anakin is getting nightmares. "Your presence is soothing." Meh. Natalie Portman - did I mention she’s smoking hot? Anakin's mother is suffering in his nightmares, so he’s leaving to help her. Padme will go with him!? what the fuck. Bad lines too. Also callback to Luke leaving to help Han and Leia... I don’t know. Bad.

“Collect call.” 7. I believe this is the scene where Obi-Wan calls back to the council and Yoda or Samuel L. says their powers are diminished for not being able to see the creation of this clone army. Decent plotline, OK. 

Django Fett vs. Obi-wan fight. 6. Decent. Too much ledge-hanging and Jedi are too super-duper-heroey. Tracking Django is fine but looked hokey. 

Tatooine. 4. A fancy ship lands at Mos Eisley... man, they’re really going back to this well a lot. We see the stupid slave owner bug guy again and long story short, Anakin’s mom has been taken by the Tuskan Raiders. Time to kill some things. 

Obi-wan tracks Django. 6. Asteroid field again. Depth charges again. Supposed to be a good action setpiece but I’m distracted because there’s not supposed to be any cool noises in space. Fine with Obi-wan faking his death to avoid Django. Very pretty scenery and Obi-wan sneaks around some. Whatever. 

Anakin on the mother hunt. 1-7. Clever shadow of Anakin-as-Darth on the side of the building. Back to good music from Ep1. Finds his mom, and we’re back to bad dialogue. “Ani? Ani? Ani? Ani?” ... should feel something here, and don’t. The actor chemistry is just so bad, and I blame George. Still, Anakin going HAM is a good slip to the dark side. Hebrings his mom back dead, and proceeds to monologue shittily to Padme. "Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things. I'm good at fixing things.” Awful. “Why'd she have to die? Why couldn't i save her? I know I could have?” what the FUCK. Terrrrrrrrrible. "I killed them. I killed them all." "I'm a jedi, I know I'm better than this." OK, finally at the very end as he breaks down, some sort of decent turn in this scene.

Count Dooku. 4. Jesus, how long is this movie? We get a random weirdo trying to create a new treaty with the trade federation to oppose the Republic. TWIST! This is what the rebellion does, but they’re somehow good! Sigh. 

Yoda and Windu. 4. “Pain, suffering. Young Skywalker is in pain.” Whatever. 

Funeral, message. 4. Here’s what I wrote and I remember none of this: “Clete is fine. Not really buying the whole anakin thing with mom. anakin stay where you are and protect the senator! padme is a mess too.”

Senator scheming. 5. So blatant. Sometimes this plotline is really well done and sometimes is sucks. Could have given this a 3-5. 

Dooku and Obi-wan. 7. OK, we have an exposition-y scene where Dooku tries to recruit Obi-wan to his side. This scene saved by two very good actors giving a good performance. 

Jar Jar in Senate. 2. The worst thing the franchise ever did gets to deliver the vote that gives Chancellor supreme powers. Jar Jar is a f***in’ tw*t. And Chancellor creates the Grand Army of the Republic. 

Padme and Anakin on planet. 1.  Oh, right. Anakin was going to go find Obi-wan or some shit. Padme saving the day with her senate powers! mehhhhhh. C3PO and R2 engage in dumb banter, but not as bad as jarjar. We’re now on some kind of shop floor ... that’s a No. Padme is now running through stampers. No. Bad. Dumb. No. Anakin also dumb. No. bad. My reviewing devolves into 2-year-old level angry language. We see machines making machines. C3PO hangs off a ledge. R2 flies around... come on. Wow, this is so bad. Padme falls into a fucking steel boiler. NO. NO NO NO. Anakin’s lightsaber is cut in half and we get a terrible "Obi-wan's gonna kill me." BOOOOO. And now droids and the fucking bountyhunter show up. God, that was worthless. 

Padme and Anakin pre-Gladiator. 2.  Anakin gets to deliver this gem: “I’ve been dying each day since you came back into my life. I love you.” I don't feel this makes any sense. Except I guess it’s clear now, as i said at the beginning of the review, that Padme kinda sucks. “I truly deeply love you.” Why?

Gladiator Death Battle. 1. HOW LONG IS THIS MOVIE? Also: GOD, THIS IS HORRIBLE. The only good part is Obi-wan with some sarcasm, otherwise we have unnecessary zerg monsters and midriff-revealing claw slashes and general dumb gladiatorial action. The “bad feeling” line was terrible, worst of the series. And where did Padme get her fucking keys? 

Jedi save the day. 3. The Jedi look very hokey and stupid, to be honest, and they don’t look like very good fighters at the end of the day. Scores 3 for light sabers but otherwise it’s a 1 or 2 scene. What’s the end game here? Get surrounded and killed? Django vs. Mace Windu who cares. We get terrible Anakin and Padme cheesing, terrible C3PO humor, bad Jedi vs. Droids action, just all around shit. 

Clones save the day. 5.  Yoda arrives with clones to save the day. At least the plotline is somewhat nuanced - who is fighting who, who is good and who is not. This ambiguity is good. But nobody wanted to kill Dooku until he was already escaped? Sort of mediocre action. Soundtrack just sounds like the matrix. Why is yoda so into the fighting? He’s trying to protect the Republic, which he knows is eroded. The jedi sure fucked up.

Death Star Plans? 5. So having seen Rogue One, this doesn’t make any sense at all (continuity errors!) ... but the DS was actually a design from the Trade Federation, apparently? Not into this. George Lucas sucks and Dooku sucks. 

Dooku Chase. 7. God, I can’t wait for this to be over (the movie and the review). Padme falls out of the transport - OK. Obi-wan and Anakin argue and it’s good. Finally some good acting out of this guy. 

Dooku fight. 7-9. Notwithstanding that Dooku seems like a very unnecessary character, this climax is decent. Anakin’s an idiot apparently, and force lightning is apparently a big sith weapon. OK light saber fighting until double-lightsaber fighting, at which point it’s hard to follow the action. George is too busy focusing in on faces. And Yoda shows up. Huzzah. Fun to watch him with the light saber, maybe a bit too much spining around and Yoda ParkourTM, but why is he shouting? Aren’t Jedi supposed to stay calm? What happened to the Quigon meditation approach? Dooku esacpes. bleh. 

Dooku Sidious meeting. 8. It’s all going to plan, yes, yes. Who the fk is Lord Tyranus? Very good music. War has begun, cool. All to Sidious’s plan, no surprise. 

Yoda and Windu. 7.  "Victory you say? Not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun the clone war has." Meh. 

Clone Deploy. 9. The visuals of Star Destroyers lifting off and a huge army deploying is pretty cool. This is the highlight of this movie, which is sad. 

Secret Marriage on Naboo. 7. Very pretty shot, no dialogue is good, anakin has a fake arm, bad kissing. definitely not an “8″. 

Credits. 6. The tone of the ending music (traditional theme) is too upbeat. Should have taken a page (pre-emptively) from Rogue One’s book and used a quiet, somber theme. Gets there after a minute or so. Bleh. So glad this is over. 

VERDICT

Not memorable, not unique, and basically a handful of scenes could have done the job here instead of what felt like 5 hours of filler. Happy to forget this movie ever happened. It grades out on the histogram as mostly 7′s and an even distribution around 4 or 5, but really, the 7′s were often due to boredom or “meh” type scores. Very flat movie in experience, with only downside and very little upside. 

REVIEW LINKS:

Introduction: Star Wars, a rediscovery.

Rogue One: 6.92 / 10.00 (stdev 2.06).

Episode 4: A New Hope. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.34).

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.29).

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 5.00 / 10.00 (stdev 2.08). But probably worse than that, actually.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. 5.48 / 10.00 (stdev 2.07).

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. 7.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.77).

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. 7.90 / 10.00 (stdev 1.91).

Episode 7: The Force Awakens. 6.57 / 10.00 (stdev 2.01).

Episode 8: The Last Jedi. 6.31 / 10.00 (stdev 1.89).

Verdict: Star Wars, A rediscovery.