#and i FREAKED because HOWWW

[bookishdaze]

I gotta share something that's gonna sound so ridiculous, and I'm self-aware enough to know that this is me being very gullible, but I just HAVE to spit this out somewhere. Plus, I think it's hilarious.

So I just came back from watching Civil War. I went through like 3 mini heart attacks during that movie by the way.

Anyways, we got a KOTPOTA trailer beforehand, and ya wanna know what my mother said?

"Creo que el changuito se va enamorar de la humana." That's Spanish for "I think the little monkey is gonna fall in love with the human."

And listen. LISTEN. The last time I took a general audience member (my cousin) to watch the first movie in a trilogy from a popular scifi franchise (The Force Awakens) and who had never seen any of the previous movies, I KID YOU NOT they turned to me and told me that they felt something going on between Rey and Kylo. Fast forward 2 years later when the sequel came out AND THEY WERE RIGHT.

For those who don't know, 99% of the theories about Rey at the time were of her being a Skywalker, which would make Rey and Kylo related. Yet my cousin CLOCKED it. My cousin had the gift of PROPHECY.

"Don't be ridiculous. That was ONE time." I don't care. You don't understand. After that experience, I'll believe so many things at this point.

[rabbitbonesandsheabutter]

wanna bite longlegs so bad

i think it would kind of shock him. He bites you all the time, in every context bc he’s a shit, but never expected you to do it back. So when you’re both cuddling in his bed listening to music and you pull his arm up to your face, he expects you to kiss him, but then nomnomnom you bit him (almost definitely not as hard as he bites you). When you grin at him after, he’s just staring at you awestruck because howww are you so perfect? You’ve just matched his freak and now he’s jumping on you.

He wants you both covered in bite marks from now on. He’s so pale they would be so vivid on him too and he loves it. He gets to look down and see your fucking dental records imprinted on his wrist whenever he likes.

[deduction-substitute]

Hello. Do you have any thoughts about lg’s Mechanical Gear skin?

DO I!??!?!?!??!?!? I have so many scenarios so many ideas om so sorry youre only going to read absolute nonsense BUT

I have two main thoughts about Lucky Guy's Mechanical Gear that I love. 1) He's a fucking freak actually. 2) He's literally just a guy

My favorite is the former but I have surprisingly have more ideas with the latter

If we go with 2, Lucky's. Some guy that the research team picked up otw because he's wasn't infected. You've got this traumatized search team and this random guy they found outside the shelter THRIVING and going about his day as if it wasnt the FUCKING APOCALYPSE

They originally thought he was immune to the mycelium (because HOWWW HAS HE SURVIVED THIS LONG), so they brought him along, but Lucky insists that he is NOT. PLEASE STOP USING ME AS A GUINEA PIG FOR THE FUNGI PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

They find out that he was waiting for Charles (Failed Exploration), who said that he'd be going out to find the possible "safe shelter" theyve been hearing about over their now busted radio. (Qi Shiyi and Frederick looking at each other knowing fully well that they met the guy on the way here with spores on his arms)

Charles DID get to the shelter before being infected, but wasnt allowed in. Since the team would be going on their journey, as precaution, they strictly enforced the rule that NO outsider could get in- infected or not. So theyre the indirect cause as to why he's infected 😋

From then on its nonsense, so moving on to 1: HE'S A FREAK!!!!!

Lucky Guy doesn't love the apocalypse, but he doesnt mind it. He's been following the same structure and routine for so many years that he would welcome a sentient fungi hellbent on taking over the world if it meant change 🫶

He's still scared of it, but he's not as worried about it as he SHOULD be. The team doesn't know what to do with him because someone who isn't 100% cautious of the mycelium is a liability (everyone in that fucking team is a liability they need to look at a mirror), but his loser charms have captivated them (He looked pathetic while begging to join them on their journey)

So theyre stuck with him!! Its not all bad, since he actually goes around assisting the group, and Lucky brings this sort of. Feeling of before. Before the apocalypse. Before the mycelium. He slowly becomes a source of comfort when things get tough

Branching off now, I think it. Would be funny if Lucky is immune to the mycelium in the sense that it cant trap him in his "greatest desire," which is simply change.

Unlike Frederick who desired "more beauty and splendor to greater heights," which was achieved in the Feaster's illusions, Lucky was content with what was happening in the present. It could be better, but in the end it's still "change" that was able to break him from his continuous routine.

Im imagining the feaster trying to trap him in an illusion like everyone else only to stop and go "huh. this guy's a weirdo actually." and deciding to just trap Lucky in the same scenario over and over: the apocalypse happening, accompanying the research team, finding the source of the mycelium, repeat w/o memories

It's ironic. Lucky's greatest desire is change, but he doesn't know that he's going through the same journey over and over again.

SORRY this post is 100% nonsensical rambling. First mistake was mentioning Lucky Guy. I cant be normal about this guy. Im so sorry.

[straightyuri]

Everything is the guy who remembers all their past lives. Their "original" life (they have been in the reincarnation cycle from the start like everyone but the life that fucked it up) was from before magic was widespread. Magic very much existed but only select few could use it, because the knowledge on how to learn it was hidden away from anyone who wasn't either privileged enough to be close to someone or had money to pay for it.

Everything (idr if I ever gave this life a name yet) had an interest in magic growing up but wasn't part of the group of people it's available to. Eventually this interest grew into wanting to make magic free for everyone n uhmmmm. It learned that technically the "pillars" or whatever of magic existed in physical form (there's more to it than thaaat). Out of pure luck it started becoming friends with a girl who had a way into the people who had magic so Everything was finally able to learn it n stuffs.

Using this new magic it reached that technically physical location n shattered . Magic itself. (Which then formed the gods' more. Living forms.) Which uhm. Well 1. It exposed itself to a lot of just raw pure magic 2. Spread the magic all over the world. Which is cool except for the fact that the current world started freaking out (metaphorically) about that and started killing itself to reset from a new point (which is why anthro animals of specific irl species don't exist in fantasy universe)

Exposing itself to this extremely raw form of magic kind of did odd things to its. Soul? Idk if that's what I want to call it. I suppose yes. So when it died it's memory didn't get fully reset. It's still like. A baby as a baby. Etc. Memories from past lives usually only start appearing in late teens of each life. They're generally kind of sad n bitter about this but apathy started setting in once the gods refused to fix it (they aren't exactly howww to fix it. But also uhm. A lot of them like mortals but aren't very good at considering their needs so they like the idea of Everything) very very early on was probably hardest for them because they had to watch the world they knew die to create this new one

They kind of forgot their original goal n that they completed it since most creatures in the current world have some sort of magic in them even if some have to research to strengthen it

[halfapersob]

Hi! I already left an ask with totally_not_a_gremlin, but I just finished up reading The Inkycap! And I just wanted to say you did an amazing job, and that the fic was a work of art- I left a comment at the fic to but I just really really loved it and wanted to ig share??? sorry if this is weird aUgh

FINISHED READING IT???? HOW

HOWWW

ITS 65K????

me and gremlin are so happy that you love it. We're currently Watchung merlin and they're next to me freaking put because you are their first tumblr ask about a fic.

This fic was our summer project and were extatic that you liked it

[willkimurashat]

2022 Fics in Review

Thank you so much for tagging me @rebelrayne !!! I only started writing this year, as my new-found hobby, and I actually found it quite fun and therapeutic :) that being said, I don’t have a lot to share, but it’s still cool to look back on it lol!

In 2022 I…

…wrote the following one-shots:

First Impressions Don’t Have to Decide Everything, Right?

MC x Will, 4k+ words

My first ever fic!! It will always hold a special place in my heart, even though I’m kinda scared to reread it and feel incredibly cringy🙈

The Answer Was Simple

MC x Suresh, 2.3k+ words, Lie detector prompt

I’m really proud of this one actually. I wrote it in one sitting and I was surprisingly satisfied with how it came out:) still can’t believe all the love I got for it here on tumblr!

Snog, Marry, Die

Halloween-themed, 7k+ words, tw: blood, violence, murder, death

I was just rereading it yesterday, and I still think it came out so fun lol! Every time I read the title, makes me feel like I was such a genius for coming up with that pun lmao, like, I am wayyy too proud of that title haha😂

…started the following multi-chaptered wips:

Stargazing

MC x Will, s4 rewrite, 61.6k+ words

Ah, the fic that kinda started it all:) It was such an ambitious plan, and I think it’s only now hit me, just how ambitious it really is to do a whole season rewrite lol… I hate how slow I am with writing it, but I love writing it so much nonetheless - it’s my baby!

An Unnamed College AU

Started writing this back in the summer, I haven’t touched it in months, but I haven’t given up on it yet either. I just didn’t think the plot fully through before starting it lol! Maybe I will get back to it, who’s to say?

An Unnamed Xmas fic

Something I started, but lost motivation and didn’t finish… whoopsie daisy👀 maybe next year?

An Unnamed Romcom-Inspired fic

I am actually super excited about this! The idea has been occupying my mind for a few weeks now:) I think this one’s kinda self-indulgent, but my bday is coming up in 1.5 months, so I’m allowing it lol😅 no, but I think it’s actually gonna be really fun, and I hope you guys think so too! Stay tuned!

…reached the following milestones:

Started writing! I mean, it’s a big deal because it got me through a lot actually, as this year was absolutely fucked.

100 kudos across all of my fics on ao3! Like, WHAT??? HOWWWW THANK YOUUUU

1301 hits across all of my fics on ao3! Again, HOWWW I LOVE YOU ALL

Collectively wrote 71,089 words across the fics officially posted to ao3! I didn’t know I could do that wtf!!!

Stargazing currently sits at about 61k words, which is approximately 122 A4 pages, which is also about the same as the word count of Carrie by Stephen King! (I never read it, but it’s still super freaking impressive!!)

And let me be sappy for a moment lol:) After years of stalking the tumblr litg tag, I finally caved in and made myself a sideblog too lol! I had a very very shitty year, but this place has been my safe space. I am so grateful I got to know so many of you - you are all so wonderful and funny and talented and inspiring! I’m not usually a hug person, but I am squeezing you all so tight right now❤️ thank you for being here and ranting/venting/crying/laughing with me, I love you all!❤️❤️❤️

Tagging: I feel like at this point everyone’s done it, but if you haven’t and you want to - I’m tagging you! I am so so proud of all of you for all the hard work you’ve done this year!!

Happy New Year, my lovely friends! Wishing you all peace, kindness, and lots of wonderful moments in 2023! I hope it treats you well ❤️❤️❤️

[bruhnze]

Hello my favorite writer!

I am ‘tan line anon’ although I kind off don’t like the name anymore, it gives me a little embarrassment now.. maybe I can take up ‘☀️anon’.. if you don’t mind..

Sorry I come to you this early morning with this long story.. but yesterday I slept with my gf for the first time and I need to tell someone and you are my comfort blog.

I will dive right in and maybe I will be too detailed.. but I am anonymous for that exact reason haha.. I hope you don’t mind. Okay here I go:

JSKAJKSJAKJKSJKSJJSJSJSKKKK OMMGGGGG AAAHHAJSHDASJHDFFGGFGG I understand for a thousand percent what the hype is all about omgg!!!!!!!!!

Okay let me actually keep calm and start at the beginning.. it was in the afternoon and the last couple of times we saw eachother things had gotten… heated a couple of times and when we were at the point of doing something a couple days ago she was on her period and she said she’d prefer for our first time to be both.. not on it.. haha. Anyways, I thought that was best too, so we sort of knew it was going to be yesterday.. there was like a vibe in the air I don’t know how to explain it. We were alone at her place in the afternoon and one thing let to another.

Anyways NO ONE TOLD ME A MOUTH FEELLSSSSS SOOO FREAKING GOOODDD WTFFF.. uhm.. yeah.. we did have to stop like two times with what we were doing because we were a little flustered, or actually I was, my insides just ‘’tingled’’ so hard my body was actually about to explode, or that was how it felt at least.

I found the advice to talk very helpful, and I was a bit bold and said things like -you look so pretty- and something about her taste SJKSJSKDDKSJK and she blushed and I felt so proud because I had expected for her to be more confident but we were both equally nervous.

Anyways, she made me come and it was such a different feeling? Like, I had not expected the actual orgasm to also feel different.. but omg was it great.. like when I went home in the evening I just kept thinking back about what we’d done and even this morning.. how can I continue to live a casual life?????, I see her tonight again but my parents are also home but if I am completely honest I hate that because I want her again so bad. AHHHHHHHHHH.

But I do have some things to question, 1. HOWWW was it like actually four hours long, FOUR HOURS, not that I minded, not in that sense but I was like.. where did the time go?! 2. Why did my mouth get so tiredddd, I wanted to keep going but at certain point I was like, ouch I just couldn’t even though I wanted. Even this morning I woke up with like a sore jaw, which is crazy to me because I know where it came from but I need to not accidentally complain about it out loud! Haha I texted my gf and she found it funny 3. ……….I didn’t make her cum………. I felt bad but she said it was okay and then we sat like.. up.. and she sat between my legs, like her back against my chest ?if that makes sense.. and then she made herself cum.. while I was also touching her… so it was hot still but like, I am sad I couldn’t do it. 4. SOFT KISSESS ON YOUR HIPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I am still recovering (that is not really a question but more a statement).

Sorry this was not as structured as I normally try to do it, because I know English isn’t your first language, but I hope you were still able to make sense of it haha ❤️

Maybe you can write something about a first time some day? I think you could write it really well (sorry, my mind is currently only playing images of my gf and I can not think anymore.. how will I go on with my day today)

Okay thank you bye.

-☀️

MINORS DNI (for good measure)

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, I just try to answer based on what I think/know 😊(ik you know but just clarification) > other anons feel free to share advise too if u think somethings missing.

AWWWW I am excited for you! Congrats with that ☀️ anon!! I am happy for you.

You can always tell me anything you want, you’re the cutest.

To jump right in too:

Yes it can be a very different feeling, depending on if you go solo/ or with someone (and in my opinion with every different person it is also different) and the ‘way’ you do it also changes things.. like toy/ or not, etc.

‘’How can I continue to live casual life’’ 😂 this made my chuckle. I know exactly what you mean, but you got this! I am not saying it will get easier but you will be able to stick it further back in your mind eventually (most of the time🙃)

I love to read that you two communicated that you needed a break, that is very good. Proud of you!

Cute that you made her blush with a couple of compliments, making a girl blush is amazing and I am giggling and kicking my feet for you!!🤭🥺

Oh no! not the parents 🐱blocking you 😭!! Life can be cruel! I wish you strength… or maybe just try to be like.. really quiet👀🤭

For your ‘questions’ (you are honestly such a cutie I can not say it enough, I love following along your little story, it is super wholesome)

(4hours?!) – Yes. Also... four hours is honestly decent 🤭, I would say.. brace yourself, there will be fun days ahead for you! (or nights)

(mouth tired, sour jaw) – yep, eventually you will get the hang of it more (like how you will know a little better how to position your head etc) and honestly with more experience will also come more stamina. If you want you can maybe watch a yt video with tips (like this one,,, yes I did search on yt for a crazy amount of time to find one I liked/found accurate for u,,, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGC5sN8bsb8 😌 (this vid is honestly great, i maybe even learned something lol) it is a little descriptive tho.. but they explain it calmly and without being childish, just informational)

(didnt make her cum) - Aw, anon, you dont need to feel bad, honestly how you two made it work sounds perfect. It might even take 3,4,5,6,7 times together to finally get it🤷‍♀️ I think it is important for you to not put pressure on it for yourself, bcs it will result in a tension around it and make it even more difficult, I believe in you and if you just continue with exploring things, on your and hers pace, you will succeed (and also, just like she said, she enjoyed it, sex is also about other things then the climax, especially when u are in love with the person, so also just enjoy the moment and try not to get into your head to much (easier said then done ik))

🤭🤭🤭

It is okay, I understood. But it is very thoughtful of you to put in effort, thank you! (I feel like i am never structured tho so sorry from my side for that too then😂retroactively)

Oh that would be a cute fic idea, maybe in the future!

I hope u had/have a great day -☀️

[caruliaa]

okay again sorry for not sending more asks ahhh the cycle of busy and tiredness-__-! but yeah before i go to bed i just wanna say how much i love you and ahhhh like holyyy shitttt midnights is sososoooo good and im so so so excited we get to like freak out about that together and just like. im so grateful we met and have been friends long enough to experience a whole new tswift album together like??? idk its just so amazing cuz i always live hearing about your thoughts and interests and passions and i loveeee sharing mine with you and!! this is smthing we already both loved and that weve got to love together sm and then we get this experience and the albums so good and ahhhhhhhhgggg idk it j makes me emo:;;!! /pos and yeah j like. youre such such a good amazing wonderful friend my beloved ladybird you!! truly make my world sooo much warmer and brighter!!! and youre just suchhh an amazinf person as well and its like! i just rlly hope u know howww much i care about you and that im here for you always no matter what!! and !! i love you sooooo muchhhh!! (hugs you like we are in paris if you want!!:💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕💕)

(edit ahhh wair didnt send last night again bcuz its still on my screen as i wake up!! sending this now!!<3)

dw i get that w the busyness and tiredness love !! and i hope u were able to get good rest dearest :3 !!! and yea omg omg omfg i am still so !!! abt midnights stilll loosing my mind over it idk if ill ever not be DHGDFBFSD but yeash omg its so so glad we got to freak out abt it together and excited to keep freaking out abt it with you !! and yea omfg i cant belevie it esp since we became friends like a month or so b4 evermore came out i think i rly am so gratful that we got to be friends and that weve been able to be friends for so long and it really does bring me soso much joy to know you and talk with you and share tihngs with you and here your thoughts and like. share mine w u and know tht ull listen and care and im rly soso gratful for getting to share this with you and for everything weve been able to share together it means soso much to me to know you and have you as a friend you really are such such an incredible wonderful presence in my life and bring me soso joy and warmth and happiness every day and i really do feel soso loved and and cared for and at home with you and that really does mean soso much to me and you really do mean soso much to me and are such an incredible wonderful special part of my life and i really am soso glad that i can be the same to you and be a good friend to you and make your life warmer and brighter beloved because you really do deserve it soso much and i really do want to soso much and i hope you know that i love you soso much i really really do :'> *hugs you back soso much soso close my dearest* 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[rainydayscore]

literally how in the hell do you get online friends (i'm serious i wish i could but howww)

here's a step by step guide for tumblr, but you can adapt this for other communities

surround yourself with like minded individuals, people with similar interests, this will generate opportunities to have conversations

when you've identified someone you want to be friends with, engage with them. send them asks, if you have something relevant to add to a post, say it. speak your mind but don't overdo it, seeming too desperate or overly familiar is offputting

make your own posts, voicing feelings and opinions. this will help generate interest in yourself, you're never going to make friends if you're just a nameless, faceless aesthetic blogger because you're just a service for content like a tv channel. show off your own personality

invite interaction. reblog ask games, ask questions. sure you could just google that, but by asking someone else or making an open question you're socialising

once you're comfortable around a mutual and if they seem receptive you can try dming them occasionally, ask them what's up and engage in long conversations on topics

be yourself. there's going to be something in you for someone, probably someone who is a similar amount of a freak as you are though there are exceptions sometimes someone normal takes a shine to you. but the reason why this is important is that a friendship built on lies is just labour, you won't get remotely as much comfort out of pretending all the time you'd be better off alone

if you manage this and are talking to them on a fairly regular basis, conratulations you are now close friends. keep in mind people are people, this is a guide not a list of holy commandments, you aren't really going to social engineer someone into a genuine friendship and this is really more like stages of evolution in a relationship than anything

[dreamwritesimagines]

i see alex and peaches fluff ft. jealous bucky and i present to u this:

bucky realizing that you're genuinely happy; that alex makes you happy, is always there for you, and can give you what he can't. bucky accepting the fact that you and alex are a good match. bucky visiting alex in the middle of the night to threaten him that if he ever hurts you, bucky will personally run him out of the city.

bucky staying away from peaches and alex but still making sure to keep his eyes on you. bucky keeping his distance because there's a turf war he's preparing for and he can't afford to be distracted. bucky getting badly injured in said turf war and crawling to the bakery because it's neutral ground and he knows he'll be safe there; he promised himself he'd stay away but it's the only place that's safe.

peaches freaking out because she hasn't heard from bucky in over a year and now he's showing up all bloody and injured. peaches kinda lowkey crying and panicking as bucky walks her through what to do— get a towel and a bucket of water, press down here, hold the towel there, grab the scissors and cut this part here. peaches suddenly freezing and blanking out when she sees bucky's tattoo, one she didn't even know about, on his left chest, above his heart; it's a tattoo of the date she left him.

peach would ask "anything special about that day?" and pretend not to know.

bucky's heart would ache, genuinely thinking you didn't know, so he chooses his next words carefully. "lost a big part of me that day. don't know if i'll ever get it back." he means his heart; he means you.

"if you could turn back time and take back what you... lost, would you?"

he eyes the framed photo of you and alex on the wall behind your head; eyes the engagement ring on your finger. "no."

"...oh," his answer breaks your heart, and if bucky could feel the way your fingers twitched on top of his, he doesn't mention it. "you... don't want to get back what you lost?"

"no- god, i want it back. i'd go through hell and high water to have it back." bucky sighs, "but it's not for me to have." he's still eyeing the photo; the wide smile on your face, the fond look alex is giving you— not unlike the way he looks at you in the photo tucked into his wallet— and he realizes, not for the first time, that alex loves you; even before bucky threatened him within an inch of his life, bucky already knew alex would never hurt you. "it's in good hands, though... and now all i can do now is keep it safe— keep the hands that hold the best parts of me safe."

it's unspoken, but both of you knew. i'm keeping you safe because i love you. i'm keeping him safe because you love him.

but bucky doesn't know. i saved you a cupcake every night in case you'd visit. i said yes to him when he got down on one knee, but for a split second, all i saw was you.

I ACTUALLY HAVE TEARS I-

How!? HOWWW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS AND SO TALENTED AND AAAAA-

"Lost a big part of me that day"? "IT'S NOT FOR ME TO HAVE"?!

This is perfect and I'm like tearing up, THANK YOU SO MUCH DARLING! ❤❤

I need this to happen between them! 💔❤😈

[warmsol]

Isa isa, this is probably a dumb question but howww can I stop feeling like I need to post all the time or people will unfollow or forget me? If I don’t have crap in my queue I freak out and stress and at this point it’s not enjoying being on simblr because of this feelings .-.

angel this isn’t dumb at all, the way you feel is completely valid. i’ve been there! i use to force myself to post almost every day in the past. to the point i literally burnt myself out and had to take a few months away from simblr. but honestly, taking that break made me realize a couple things. 1: people who truly like your content will continue to support you regardless of how often you post. 2: you need to post for you. the moment you stop posting for you, it’s not fun anymore. and 3: stressing over simblr (which is literally one of the least important things in your life) isn’t worth it! this is a hobby, not a job. we’re all here to have fun, be creative, share our sims and stories. we don’t need to clock in and clock out w our content, y’know?! it’ll take some time to loosen up about it all, but i promise that the moment you let yourself not care, you’ll be free of that pressure! that’s honestly the best advice i can offer so i really hope this was somewhat helpful. ♥️

[wildtornado-o]

for the bingo :] howww about. hitomi?

AA Hitomi!!! Shes literally my 3rd favourite character since Date and Mizuki r tied for first, I loove her so so so much <3

Hitomi is SO freaking special to me the moment I saw her when I first played the first game I died and fell in love. My friend was watching me play the whole time and she memed on my saying "My wife!!" Everytime she appeared lol and omg her scene after Iris' death made me SOB and eberytime I watch it now I die because Hitomi has lost everything and then for Iris to be taken from her too </3 I also broke down after I got through the Manaka stuff and my friend was just like "o.o" ANYWAYS I love her so much and the fact shes waited 12 YEARS in total for Date she loves him a lot and they r so good together... the square around "she hasnt done anything wrng" is cuz obviously she DId do something wrong but shes done so much for Iris and put her own needs to the side and Im just.. wow.. i love u girlboss...

The mom of all time 10/10

[shushthisaintmytumbla]

a year in the books - 8/9/22

It always just amazes me how much can change from the previous time I write here. I have definitely neglected this space for quite some time (longer than usual) as its been almost a YEAR! It’s always so insane to see how much has changed and where i am now from where i was in the last post. I truly don’t even know where to begin, but I guess i will just state the fact that tomorrow is my one year anniversary of living in NYC.... HOWWW?! So much has happened over the past year. New friendships, self growth, hurt, feeling lost, finding myself, you name it its happened. Its crazy to read my last post and see how un settled this city made me feel. I can now leave my apartment and get just about anywhere by memory. I have so much to say and update on so I guess we shall start with a big part of my last post. D. 

Wowow i don’t know what to say but girlllll you were just getting started with this heartbreak. To say being in a toxic relationship is difficult is just an understatement. Its definitely been one of the biggest struggles from the past year. I have been hurt countless times, but yet i still find myself stuck in the same place. From where I was a year ago, I’ve been back and forth and pulled in every direct. From a genuine relationship to a hook up to a toxic friendship to friends to enemies and back, we still gravitate towards one another. Our relationship makes zero sense to me, but id like to think my mental state of the relationship has begun to take positive steps out of the toxicity. It’s hard to say what the future looks like but all I can hope is that I find a way through this muddy path. I know I am capable and I hope to continue to work on finding my way out... I guess thats all I can really say.

other than THAT! lol so so so much good has happened. Sometime after this post I pushed myself out of my comfortzone to make nyc MY city with MY friends. It took some trial and error, but through a literal friend dating app I found my best friends who I now could not imagine life without. Were literally going on our second trip together this weekend like thats how freaking amazing they are. They make NYC home and I couldnt be more grateful. Not only do I have them, but ive been able to connect with people who I barely knew im college, I have molly and her friends and I even had brooke (who unfortunately just moved back to LA) for so much of the past year. Once i got out of my comfort zone this city really openned up to me. My friends here are the reason I love new york as much as I do and for that I am forever grateful.

Not only have my relationships changed, but MY JOB changed. This I never thought I’d be saying a year ago, mostly because I thought my job was going to be the coolest thing ever. It was at first, dont get my wrong, but once things set into place i realized the scam that is reality TV lol. I am now at a new job that has been one of the most challenging ones yet. Hold onto your seat bc you wont believe this... I AM SO BUSY. I thought i was cursed w boring jobs hahah but not the case anymore!! I really really struggled the first few weeks, but id like to think im getting the hang of it now. Its still in influener marketing which I enjoy, but now i do everything from sourcing talent to contracting to runnning a full campaign. I hope to stay in this role for a bit and grow at the company because it definitely seems like there is a ton of room for it. Im excited to see what the future holds w this career path.

Another big thing is I started therapy this year! It is something ive always been so scared to do, but something i really needed. I am so good at venting to an online portal, but actually seeking a mental health outlet has been so good for me. Sometimes i doubt my progress, but ive been able to open up a lot more and id like to think its made me more overall healthy. 

I feel like thats a pretty lengthy update on the life status for now, but i hope to come back soon w even more life  wins and not go so long without writing here! I am so so excited to see what the future holds, how my nyc life will progress, and what new challenges will come my way to make me even stronger. 

xx,

C

[martinkate]

oh my gosh i ship the two from dawn so much adlkfjklslsfkdhgs (what are their names again? im stupid) anywayyy can we hear more bout them when do they get togetherrr and howww?? oooh if they ever get together what is their ideal date :D

sksks thank you so much anon this is my fAVOURITE TYPE OF ASK SKSKSKKSSK omg my friend is gonna freak out when i show her this is like her favourite ship in my series 

okay so their names are holly dawn flynn (wink wink) and j.p ross, and holly is the asexual biromantic queen of the ~dawn~ queendom, (yes it’s named after her) which is made up of all the banished xonarians (basically if you did something really bad on xonar they banished you to earth). their prime goal is surviving on earth and keeping banished xonarian monsters from harming humans.

and j.p ross is the leader of the organization called the hex, which is also made up of banished xonarians, just less of them. and their prime goal is to get back to xonar.

basically they have the slowest slow slow burn of my series. it takes a reeeeeally long time for her to realize she loves him back (he’s made it very obvious he likes her) because she wasn’t sure if he even wanted to be with her because she was ace (he does, obviously) it makes some good angst.

so one time, they get teleported into this hell-hole alternate universe thing where everything that enters automatically has a dark copy of itself and that copy will try and kill them. 

so the hex and the dawn have to work together.

after that, they decided earth is no longer safe for them, and fly on a spaceship back to xonar.

eventually, they date, and obviously their first date is at tim horton’s, (also yes this takes place in canada i hate things taking place in the us) (plus i know more things about canada and places here) because j.p ross loves tim hortons.

but holly insists that they go to other places so from then on they go back and forth choosing restaurants and if the other likes the one that they choose, they get to pick again. it distracts them from their new life in xonar.

holly asks him to marry her, because how do you ask the queen of dawn to marry you? this is like 9 years into their relationship.

i want to explain more of it but dawn is so long so this is all you’re getting for now!!!

(also anon if you want to come back i’m labelling you ‘jolly anon’ because that’s their ship name!! tell me if you wanna change it lmao)

[thefloorisbalaclava]

I’ve always wanted to write Pedro fic in Spanish but I’m so insecure about my writing....then I think I should just do it even if it’s bad because I want to read it. idk if that even makes sense but when you answered that anon about including phrases in Spanish my heart almost burst. Idk how to explain it but falling in love in Spanish hits different and the smut does too lol... like this man is from Chile and in fics he’s always paired with white women like howww? I remember him saying that he got along super well with Matt Damon’s wife because they were both from South America and they left around the same time and they were able to speak to each other in Spanish and how much he enjoyed that for the five months they were in China...sorry for the rant the point is that, I am excited that you are going to write that piece because you are a beautiful and talented writer so if anyone can do it Justice it’s you💜

I'm assuming you mean that screenshot i took of the ask about saying things to Frankie in Spanish? I don't want people thinking I'm writing a fic for Pedro! Lol. You won't find that here. I'm only confident enough because anon gave me the phrases to use lol! I know Spanish but am not confident enough to write an entire fic in the language. I have a fear of horribly butchering such a lovely language.

Can I just say that I'm honored by your confidence in me? Thanks a bunch! I really appreciate it because even when i use the smallest bit of Spanish in my fics I freak out thinking that I'm gonna offend someone! I just really love the language and love learning it 💜

[lucidescuella]

the boys reacting to s/o having red hair and hating it;

request: “being a ginger and hating yourself for it, how the boys would react to it...”

#relate. I hope y’all like this :)) (also this was strangely hard because I had to come up with good things about my hair lol) I just did Javier, Arthur, Charles, and Sean, but if you guys want more, let me know :)

Javier:

bro what

okay lemme tell you right now, he just point-blank does not understand

he loves how unique your hair is and he finds himself admiring it from afar

there’s a certain thing about how it shines in the sunlight that makes him swoon 

whenever you express how much you hate it, he practically pulls out a frickin essay on how much he loves your hair

like he hears you start to say bad things about yourself and immediately reacts

“omg, I hate my ha-”

“don’t you DARE finish that sentence” 

he’s very passionate about making you feel good about yourself, especially a trait that he really admires

Arthur:

howww

he constantly draws you and is so sad that he can’t color your hair in with pencil lmao

he always plays with your hair and will tell you how much he absolutely loves it

most redheads have freckles and if you do,

he’s gonna pass out from adoration or something idk

going back to the art thing, he is going to buy paint or colored pencils to attempt to color your hair

he’ll spend a looot of time on it- he wants to be able to capture your beauty perfectly

then he’ll give you the drawing, shyly saying that he wants you to see how gorgeous your hair is like he does

swoon

Charles:

he won’t hesitate to shoot you with love and affection

lol okay but seriously-

I feel like he would be lowkey offended at your comments

“why would you say that” “how could you think that- what-” “your hair is beautiful...”

after the initial shock,

he would praise you non-stop- you can’t escape

like he’ll notice you doing your chores when he comes back from a job and casually walk over

he’ll run a hand through your hair and just smile at you, “you look beautiful”

bRO

I’m sorry I just got distracted

anyway

probably the most determined to make you feel good about yourself

Sean:

babe no

he’s a fellow redhead, you can’t say that about yourself 

listen, Sean is kind of an idiot (and that’s okay) and he might get self-conscious himself

“if they hate their hair, does that mean they hate mine??”

you have to freaking reassure him for him to reassure you lmao

like you tell him that his hair is great, but you don’t think you look good with red hair

and he’s like ...O.O...

from then on, he always makes sure to compliment you randomly

 “did you do something with your hair”

“Sean, I just woke up”

“Oh, so you’re just that beautiful naturally”

if he does too much, just tell him, but he’s trying his best lol