#and i always go “hey maybe ill actually let it grow this time” and then spring comes around and i cut it all off again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

realmackross · 5 months

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PARTIES: @recoveringdreamer @faoighiche @realmackross TIMING: Second week of January SUMMARY: A balam, fae, and zombie come together to save the town from getting trampled. WARNINGS: unsanitary tw, head trauma tw, eye trauma tw, animal abuse tw (it's a spn creature, but I'd rather be on the safe side)

They weren’t sure why they still did things like this. After the first few times that venturing away from town had proven disastrous, one might think that Felix had learned their lesson. But… they were never much of a learner. Always slower than their siblings, always struggling with simple things like reading the words on a page. Leo had often commented on their lack of intelligence; it was difficult for Felix to insist that he was wrong about that.

At least they had a purpose today. They’d had the Pit’s contract hanging over their head for years now, but they’d always been too nervous to really test the limits of it. In the beginning, sure, they’d gone against it at every turn and suffered the consequences in turn. But they’d grown… complacent after a while. They wanted to stop that. So, they were testing the limits. They were seeing how far they could stray from town before the ill-effects of their contract set in, testing it out to see if leaving town was the trigger or if things only went sideways when they actually skipped out on a fight. It would be good information to have, they thought. It would be nice.

They were a little ways outside the town’s borders with no consequences to speak of now, and feeling more and more confident the farther they strayed. Maybe they could do something with this, something substantial. Maybe…

There was a cloud up ahead. Felix squinted at it uncertainly. It was dark and moving, and for a moment, they wondered if it was because of them, somehow. Was this a consequence for leaving town? No, that didn’t make any sense. They felt fine. Curiously, they moved closer, shifting just enough to allow the jaguar’s senses to enhance their sight, smell, and hearing. The sound was distant, but growing much louder as they moved towards it. Pounding… hooves? Felix continued on.

They spotted a figure up ahead; not the source of the sound, and probably not the source of the cloud, either. Human… or human-like. It was hard to say for sure. “Hey!” They called out as they approached. “Do you know what’s going on? I saw a — cloud.”

---

Mackenzie had been out for a jog. In fact, jogging had become her new regular thing, but it wasn’t for the exercise. It wasn’t for the fresh air or nature. It was for one purpose only, and even though it had been months, her intent was to see if there was any sign on the outskirts of town of the damage she had done back in September. Bones. A husk of a body. Anything that clued her in on the problems she had caused after touching the Serpent Flats.

However, something else lay just up ahead. Something that let out a horrendous sound as it charged forward and towards her and the town. She had seen these before. At Monty’s farm. They were sprinkled around the edge of the farm as protection for the animals, but she had never seen one in action or really knew what they could do. But Mack did know how big they were, regardless of the way the ground shook as their hooves hit the paved road. Nothing she wanted to hang around for, and without hesitation, found herself running back as quickly as she could towards town and someone coming their way, “Go back!!! Don’t come this way!!! There’s danger!!!” She had hoped her voice carried, but between running and just not having the strength when she was alive, Mack didn’t know if they could hear her.

---

Burrow had heard her precious parasites call to her. A wail that led her down a path with a cloud at the end. An innocent thing, if not for the wails growing louder the closer she approached. As the wind carried down a single taste of that cloud, it went down her throat like barbs. A full course of it would certainly leave her hurling. Perhaps even death. Many of her parasites were safe from it, either lacking a need for breath or possessing the capacity to move. But many of the breathless were nestled in those that did breathe. Those that grew sicker as panic had them welcoming more of the poison. A cycle that would tumble further down into the grave. Her parasites would be dragged down with them. No. She would not allow it.

The ground rumbled, matching the great beating in Burrow’s chest. She called to her precious ones. Move. Writhe. Bite. Make a great mess only for this moment. Make your presence known, make your pain known, so that it may urge your hosts to move. MOVE! Her parasites made it so, but the hosts were not as understanding. Though the hosts did move, they lacked a sense of direction. So they remained, choking still on the cloud. Her parasites still wailed, joined by the screams of those creatures unknown. “Mo chreach 'sa thàinig,” she hissed.

Laced within the wailing and the stomping and the screaming, Burrow heard the presence of humans. Their screams were frantic and confused, unlike the quaking and the cloud that all continued through the trees unabated. Their lack of cohesion hinted at a lack of alliance. But humans were known to lie. Further evidence would be needed to trust that judgment — to trust them at all. She continued, swift and silent, not adding to the clamor in the air. There was no use in exposing her position to all the ones that screamed.

---

They came closer to that maybe-human shape, spotted the source of the cloud in the distance. Familiarity tugged at their gut, a quiet but persistent thing. They’d seen these before. Hadn’t they? On Monty’s farm, the day they’d fought against the bat vampire. What had Monty called them? Felix couldn’t remember. They did remember the way the animals screeched when the vampiric being tore through them, the memory making their mouth go dry.

The voice of the other startled them from their thoughts, and their eyes landed on a woman. “What — What’s happening? Do you know? Where did they come from?” They weren’t Monty’s. Felix knew that, on some level, knew that their friend and his farm were safe as anything ever could be in Wicked’s Rest, but the worry still ate at them. They came closer, some of that cloud moving towards them. Felix inhaled, choking a little as they stumbled back. What the hell? “Hey, the — The cloud! I think it’s, uh… bad. You should — You have to get away from it!” They lifted their arm to cover their mouth and nose with their sleeve, a makeshift, ineffective gas mask, and surged forward, desperate to pull the stranger away from the gas… and utterly unaware that there was someone else watching.

---

Mackenzie had made it as fast as she possibly could ignoring her surroundings including the person hidden in the trees watching and waiting. However, the gas that had filled the air hadn’t seemed to phase her. Instead, she had thought it was just a cloud of dust being kicked up with the haze. Zombie vision wasn’t the best and neither were zombie lungs, but whatever this was that was making her new found ally cough like crazy, Mack quickly caught onto; especially when they made an effort to cover their face and proclaim it was bad. An easy out to her not being normal, if she didn’t play along. Being a zombie and keeping it a secret was hard. “Uh, right.” She feigned a cough or two and quickly pulled her shirt up over her nose and mouth. That was some shitty acting, Mackenzie.

“I don’t know what’s happening…” Make them think you’re out of breath Mackenzie. Throw in a few more coughs. “But…But I was out for a jog, and I saw them coming this way. I’ve seen these before…not these particular ones, but someone I know has some, and I’ve never seen them anything but docile. They're headed this way though, and I think their next stop is Downtown.” She coughed again for the hell of it.

---

Burrow had taken one last breath before the cloud consumed her. While it would last her much longer than the humans could hope, she did not want to waste it talking to them. At least those weak lungs of theirs did hack out a cover for her steps, so there was some use in them. Between the hacks and wheezes, they kept mentioning a ‘them’. Likely those creatures: the ones who stomped with a distinctly hooved nature. Everything else was silent, drifting into death’s embrace. Yet, some of the stompers charged passed her without a care. The fog grew so thick about their mouths it would have surely choked them out. And yet, they continued, that fog trailing behind them like an old friend. They were to blame for her parasites’ pain. And those humans knew them. Of course. It was always the humans and their poison that worked together to see their end, even if in this case the death was more generalized.

Burrow called onto her precious ones — the ones not trapped in a slowly dying body. The mistletoe in the branches and the worms in the roots heard her. They writhed in preparation, waiting for her call. She did not approach the humans; she only made her voice known to them. Precious oxygen wasted, but in the hopes it could help save her precious ones. “How. Do. I. Stop. Them?” If the humans would not comply, she would show them how nature was not to be trifled with.

---

At first, the blonde wasn’t coughing or showing any sort of difficulty with the gas, and Felix felt concern ebbing through their chest. They didn’t know much about poison or how it operated — what if it paralyzed her lungs somehow? Made her think she was fine when she was really dying? But then she started to cough, and the sound filled him with such an intense relief that that threatened to choke him just as surely as the gas did. “Yeah,” they agreed with a cough of their own. “I’ve seen them before but never like this.” They wished Monty was here; he’d know more about them, know how to stop them, what to do. Felix, as they usually were, was all but useless.

At the idea of the creatures heading for downtown — and taking that gas with them — the balam paled. “We can’t let that happen,” they said urgently. “People will get hurt. People might — We have to —” Stop them, they were going to finish. But before they could, another voice spoke up, asking the same question that was on Felix’s panicked mind. They turned towards the sound, trying desperately to find the person who’d spoken. They were in trouble, too, they needed to get away from the gas too. And all of them needed to keep the stampede from getting to town. “I don’t know,” they called out uncertainly. “But we need to find a way. Maybe…” Hadn’t Monty rounded on them with a lasso, like they were normal cows? “We should herd them. Away from town, away from whatever’s upsetting them.”

---

Phew. Mack felt the same relief come over her that seemed to have come over the person standing in front of her. She was in the clear. At least momentarily. She was sure at this point that if they lingered around these things, her secret would come out. But something had to be done. The animals had to be stopped, because Mackenzie didn’t want more blood on her hands even if it was second hand and due to not stopping ginormous bovine. And just as she was about to reply, another voice was heard. But like her ally, Mack found herself frantically looking around for the other person.

No luck. Fuck this town was weird. But Mackenzie didn’t have time to dwell. Otherwise, her and a mess of other people and things would be flattened, “Herding them is a good idea, but how? I don’t think those things are going to listen to two people and a mysterious rogue voice.” She glanced towards the woods wondering if that was where it was coming from.

---

I don’t know. Burrow rolled her eyes. “Lies. You know the creatures.” She didn’t have the breath to worm it out of them. At least they had offered an idea. Herd them. She had done the same to the others of the forests. Did the creatures who had caused her parasites pain be hosts themselves? If so, she would claim their insides the same as any. She scurried through the vegetation — deeper into the fog until her eyes stung with tears. But she was a being who worked best in the dark and the unseen parts of the world. A diminished sight would never be a deterrent. She ran further, deeper still, until the stomping grew so loud it shook her soul.

There they were, the source of all this mess. Burrow could see the silhouettes blending and meshing together. An amalgamation of deadly smoke and sound. But despite all the misery, in that great and shifting form she could sense a pleasant buzzing. Her parasites. She called to them. Move. Writhe. Bite. Make a great mess only for this moment. Make your presence known, make your pain known, so that it may urge your hosts to move. MOVE! It was slow at first. It was always slow at first. She cowered behind a tree to avoid a pair of horns from beheading her. But slowly and surely, there was a shift in the creatures’ behavior. Aggression relented to unease. What once was a rampage became a mess of quivering. The creatures no longer knew where to run.

---

“I don’t even know what they’re called! I just have a friend who has some on a farm but they don’t — I thought they were just weird looking cows!” Frustration was clear in Felix’s voice, louder than they usually let themself get. There was a tinge of panic to it, and they pressed their sleeve harder against their nose and mouth in a desperate attempt to keep themself from hyperventilating and breathing in way too much of that poison gas. They considered their options here. Did they bring the jaguar out? They doubted it would do much good. If faced with a situation like this, the jaguar was more likely to flee to safety and leave the town to be overrun than he was to herd the creatures in the right direction.

But then… something happened. The third person, the one who was in the smoke and breathing in way too much of it, seemed to vanish. For a moment, Felix was terrified that she’d succumbed to it, been overtaken and left choking and sputtering unheard on the ground. But then, the herd seemed to change direction. Felix let their eyes shift more, risking the change in color in shape to give them a better look. There was a figure in the fog, ducking behind a tree. She was controlling them, somehow. Taking a deep breath of clean air and holding it, Felix ran towards them.

“The Fields!” Their voice was quick, the words forced out with as little precious breath as they could manage. “Drive them towards Gatlin Fields!” There was a lot of open space out there, and it was near Monty’s farm. If nothing else, Felix thought, they could text the zombie for an assist.

---

It seemed the conversation carried on between the mysterious voice and the person near Mack, but the mention of Monty peaked her interest. They knew Monty too? “You know, Monty?” She moved in closer toward them. But she could tell that it was getting harder for them to breathe. If they stayed here much longer, she’d be carrying a body back to town, and how was that going to look? Of course, hearing the steady sound of hooves switching direction caught her attention, and the concern for the mystery person that lingered in the back of her mind had disappeared.

Something good was happening. Not good for the ones that were bound to die from the toxic fumes of massive cow-like creatures, but good for the town of Wicked’s Rest. However, with the creatures headed towards Gatlin Fields, Mackenzie’s mind went to the farm and the hundreds of undead who reside and worked there. If those creatures trampled and gravely injured the zombies, they’d have a horde of mindless hungry undead and soon a town massacre on their hands anyways. And Sellama!!! Mackenzie couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to Sellama.

Taking off running in that direction following Team Bovine, Mackenzie knew something had to be done. If this mystery person could herd them, could they stop them too? “You have to be able to stop them!!! If you don’t you’re gonna have an even bigger problem on your hands!!!” She was trailing the only person she could actually see.

---

The humans barked commands at Burrow as if she had any control of the situation. As if these creatures she had never seen before were of her domain. As if she would care about their opinions! She slipped further into the fog, letting it take her until her sight grew spots from irritation. Even if the humans’ assumptions about her nature were incorrect, she did not enjoy that they could discern anything about her. Parasites were not meant to be known. If only she could disappear up into a tree or down into the ground. But she had a purpose, a magnificent duty, to fulfill. She was nothing, deserved to be nothing, if she could not fulfill it. So, she would continue.

Burrow called to the parasites of the stompers. They borrowed into muscles that were never meant to know their name. They writhed out of orifices, slithered under skin, tore apart tissue. She hoped it would not lead to their sacrifice. Hopefully the humans would have the decency to be grateful and not enact the means to her parasites’ death. The stompers wished the opposite. They shrieked, causing the fog to spew from their mouths with such thickness it looked solid. Their hooves joined the acceleration. They rampaged away, forgetting the town entirely in their desperation to be rid of whatever was happening to them. “They go where they go.” She did not care to elaborate. The humans had already claimed more of her oxygen than she had been willing to give. Whatever they wanted was to be dealt by the whims of nature, not her.

---

Felix was surprised to hear their friend’s name from the mouth of a stranger, and they turned towards the blonde with a furrowed brow. “You know Monty?” But there was little time to worry about their mutual connections now; they needed a solution, and Felix’s newfound companion seemed to think that the Fields was a bad one while the mysterious person in the thick of the fog seemed unable to control the beasts with any kind of precision. There was no perfect answer. There would be people anywhere the beasts ended up, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe by the second. Spots danced at the edge of Felix’s vision. They were keeping their breath as shallow as they could, but this presented problems all its own. Not enough oxygen was getting to their lungs, and that which was being delivered was tainted. The jaguar stirred, pushing for control. Felix pushed him down. Not a good time.

“Okay!” They agreed, coughing again as the fog around them thickened. “Okay, they go where they go. But we need to make sure it isn’t towards town. We need to… steer them any way we can.”

---

“Yes, I know Monty! A conversation for another time!” She continued to chase after the person, the beasts, and the mysterious voice, but hearing the agreement to let the beasts go where they wanted to go – which was now towards Monty’s farm, left Mackenzie screaming out in their direction, “NO!” If I don’t tell them why…Fuck! She pushed harder catching up to Felix, so her voice could stay low, “You said you’re friends with Monty right? Well I’m like Monty. And if you were to severely injure me, I would be looking for food anywhere I could find it, including Wicked’s Rest. Do you catch my drift…” She looked over at them hard, not showing any signs of struggling with the poison now. No coughing. No breathing at all.

Mackenzie had hoped that this plan would work. Just enough information for them to catch on without her having to say the word zombie, just in case they didn’t know what Monty was. And if they didn’t she would find another way. Even if it meant somehow jumping onto the beasts’ backs and ripping their flesh off with her teeth or beating them with a rock to get to their brains. If they didn’t have brains they couldn’t function or harm anyone, despite her hoping and praying she wouldn’t have to go that route for the sake of innocent animals.

---

The humans were discussing amongst themselves. At least that gave Burrow reprieve from their attempts at command… For the most part. She did not spare them anymore of her ears or mind. Her focus focused solely on her parasites. She pushed to them — through them, inside them — entwining the same as they did the stompers’ guts. Her call grew larger, deeper, digging into the soil. Others answered. Her vines were a whisper on her neck, safely tucked away from the humans. Too far away. She would never have them so close to town, and she would not ask them then. It put them all at risk. But maybe… maybe she could reach them. They could claim those stomping feet and render them silent. She could save the parasites within and find them new hosts. Ones that did not bring death to all the others. A wonderful plan! But a lot of could’s that hinged on the cooperation of the very thing that caused all the death. If only she could call to them like her parasites.

Burrow followed after the stomping and the death, her legs growing tired but not her heart. When the stomping turned towards town, she called to her parasites for more pain. A pain that was only eased when they changed their direction back to the woods. Back to where her vines waited, writing in anticipation. At least the creatures could comprehend cause and effect. Hopefully it was enough.

---

“Good call,” Felix agreed with a sheepish smile and a quiet cough. Now wasn’t the time to be focusing on mutual friends. Now was the time to… save the day or something. It was difficult to concentrate; Felix was trying to breathe as little as possible to avoid inhaling the mist, and the lack of oxygen was beginning to get to them just a little. As the blonde went on to talk about Monty — and how she was like him — Felix thought of the way the cowboy had reacted during their fight with the vampire. They grimaced. “I’ve seen that,” they admitted. “But… Monty also knows how to deal with these things. He has them on his farm. And he doesn’t need to —” They coughed again, the fit breaking up their words. “Breathe,” they finished breathlessly. Anywhere else they sent these things, there would be an undeniable risk of… suffocation. Like the suffocation Felix was suffering from now. Their vision blurred a little, and they pressed their sleeve harder against their nose and mouth. Whatever they were going to do, they needed to do it fast. Otherwise, Felix wouldn’t make it out.

Their unseen companion might be in trouble, too. Felix wasn’t sure if she, too, was undead, or if she was struggling just as much as Felix themself. They hoped adamantly for the former, not wanting anyone else to suffer like this. In any case, she seemed effective in whatever she was doing to steer the beasts. They moved towards the woods. A safer destination than Monty’s farm, perhaps, though nothing felt entirely safe. Felix was a little too distracted to think of it too much, to consider the pros and cons. They were barely on their feet now. “We should… follow,” they gasped out, swaying a little. “Make sure they go where they won’t hurt anyone. Come on!”

---

Not only had her worry been on a farm full of zombies that could potentially wreak havoc, but now, Mack found herself keeping her eyes on Felix. They didn’t seem to be doing so great, and she could tell they were getting much weaker. But some relief had seemed to come, when she noticed the huge beasts break stride and turn towards the woods. They were no longer headed towards Monty’s or town; the mysterious voice in the woods had done it. But how much longer could they or Felix survive? It didn’t seem necessary to keep discussing the risks of rabid zombies when they were no longer in the path of destruction.

At this point, Mackenzie was only following in case she needed to drag anyone back to safety. The toxic fumes that trailed the beasts had no effect on her whatsoever, and as long as the town and the farm seemed to be safe, which they were for the moment, the young zombie knew what she had to do, “Maybe you should turn back! You’re getting weaker! And it looks like our mysterious friend in the woods has it under control!” She wasn’t sure if the person that had found a way to control raging bull like creatures was even human themself, or if they were in the same danger of suffocating, but right now Mack could only focus on what she could see.

---

Burrow’s legs screamed for a rest she could not take — her lungs screamed for a breath she did not trust. The air was still clogged with the poison. It had not yet made the humans fall, but she could not rely on that knowledge. The poison affected all the others differently, shown by how some of the hosts lay dead by its might. Feeling her parasites choke inside those dead bodies threatened to release a scream: a scream for those without a voice. But she could not waste any air. She had to continue so the others would be spared the same death. If only the stompers weren’t so unruly. But there were those who listened to her will. Her precious vines writhed over to where the stompers’ paths would end. All she had to do was make sure they met the finish line. She commanded the worms to do one terrible tearing. Erupt as many muscles as they could, render those hosts useless, for soon they would be dead anyway. The vines would make use of them.

Her worms listened, but her body did not. Burrow finally took a gasp. A gasp of searing pain. Her body quivered against the intrusion. Her glamour did as well, revealing bits of her truth. Tendrils pooled out from her mouth as if they could push the toxins away. It did not ease the pain. Her parasites continued in her stead. She could feel, in a distance unseen, that the vines had begun to claim their prize. The stompers were powerful. So many of her vines snapped from their alarm. But she could feel how the stompers stumbled, weakened by the worms inside. Those worms still needed to be rescued. They would die along with the stompers if she did not reach them. She just… had to reach them. She gripped the body of a fallen rabbit. The worms that had been suffering under its dead skin gladly entered her own. Their invasion brought a pleasant tingle. Enough to bring herself back to her feet. Stumbling, with convulsions for breaths, but she continued forward.

---

“N-No!” Felix stammered, taking another stumbling step forward. “I’m okay. I want to help.” They closed their eyes for a moment, trying to concentrate. Within their chest, their lungs ached. They let the shift take them, let those lungs give way to more powerful ones, ones that could hold a breath for longer. With their current state, half suffocated by the poison, the partial shift was a messy one. The external shape of their chest shifted in a way that was unnatural on the rest of their torso, tufts of fur beneath their shirt. They hoped it wasn’t too noticeable… or, rather, that there were so many other things going on that no one would be able to spare the attention their way.

With the jaguar’s lungs in use, Felix could hold their breath longer. Up to twenty minutes, if you stretch it, their brother told them once before shoving them into the lake with a laugh. They’d done some research, after that, curious as to how long it could really last. There was no definitive answer. Fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, an hour… It was hard to say for certain, and Felix had always been pretty adamant that they’d rather not accept the strain of finding it out. But it would come in handy here, in any case, and he followed the blonde zombie into the woods in spite of her protests.

Their unseen friend had driven the creatures into a vulnerable position. Tangled in vines, unable to move freely. For a moment, Felix thought it might be over. They could find someone who knew about the beasts and take care of them, and it would be fine. But one of the cow-like creatures was thrashing in the vines, wild and desperate, and it broke free. It stumbled forward, it was — strange. Its movements were stilted, somehow, unnatural. Felix took an uncertain step back, grabbing the zombie by the arm to pull her back with them. Something’s wrong, he thought, but he didn’t dare open his mouth to say it, didn’t want to release the breath still held in those powerful lungs just to state the obvious.

---

Mackenzie hadn’t noticed the partial shift in Felix, but she did keep her eyes trained forward on the beasts as she noticed them faltering with each step. Whoever their mysterious companion was, they had a deeper control on the animals than Mack initially thought. But somehow the three had been paired up by the universe to stop whatever had caused the creatures to rage in the first place. Creatures that normally seemed so docile when she had witnessed them before. It hurt her knowing that the ending to this story might not have been what she had hoped.

As she inched closer to where the animals had finally been sent downwards with a tangle of vines and Earth, Mackenzie was just about to approach one of them, when she noticed Felix grab her by the arm. If it hadn’t been for them, Mackenzie was sure to have been squished by a hoof. “Thanks! I think something’s wrong with it...” She looked over to Felix with concern on her face, but not before the animal started to stumble toward them both again. With the other ones subdued, Mackenzie knew something had to be done about the stray, and without giving it a second thought, she let her stunt training and fearlessness take it’s true grasp on her.

Running as fast as her deadened feet would carry her, Mackenzie found the nearest tree and started to climb upwards. It had been a while since she had climbed or had really done anything that physical that she was aware of at least, and it was somewhat of a struggle at first, but then instinct kicked in and she found herself shimming out onto a sturdy enough branch. And just as the animal stumbled back in her direction, Mackenzie launched herself onto it digging her fingers and hands into its long fur to get a good grip knowing exactly what was about to happen.

“FUUUUUUCCCKKKK!!!” The word echoed out through the trees as the animal started bucking around emitting more toxic gas, while Mackenzie was flung from one side to the other, before it started taking off in a completely different direction from Felix, mystery person, and the other tangled up animals. And reluctantly, she knew what she would probably have to do if it got too close to town - dinner for days…

---

You all may rest. Burrow’s worms had done so well, ensuring the demise of the death fumes. Her worms deserved to be nestled sweetly in their homes. If only those homes were not slowly succumbing to a choking death. She would find better homes, but first, she must save them. Her mouth ducked under her layers of clothes, which filtered the air as she took a shaking breath. It stung and quivered with rejection in her chest, but she forced it to stay. Forced it into a numbness, despite the throbbing in her head. While her lungs wished to be free of the air, the stompers refused to be done with theirs. They thrashed and stumbled, but did not escape their leashes… save for one. Her approaching presence had strengthened the might of her vines, who writhed faster than the stomper’s depleted bodies. In time, the only proof of their life would be the clouds still circling through the air. Clouds that would slowly dwindle into nothing. But her parasites could not rely on that patience.

Burrow hands gripped the stompers’ necks: one to save and one to cut. Her parasites slithered into her waiting hand, while the other slit the throats. Again and again, one by one. With each joyous reunion of her worms and each joyous claim of her vines, she felt her trembled body grow straighter. Except, one disrupted the pattern. Another won its fight against the vines, ripping free of its hold. But it was not free from death. The vines that still coiled about its body tripped its feet. It made the creature stumble into Burrow’s path, and then into her blade, and then into death. In death, they will all serve her parasites well. She smiled, thinking of the mighty hounds to be made from their bodies. They were so lucky, to be molded into ones so beautiful.

But Burrow was not yet done. She looked to where the humans had clamored after the final stomper. While she could not see, she could feel her vines tight hold in the faint distance. With its voracious grasp, it tugged at her heart, and she followed after it.

---

It was chaos. Somehow, even more so than it had been when there was a herd of animals to worry about. Felix continued to hold their breath, refusing to let themself speak now despite how the words wanted so badly to escape their lips. Save your breath, they reminded themself. You don’t know how many you have left if you keep breathing this stuff in. Their vision was swimming, their chest aching, but they held fast. Even as the zombie they’d aligned themself with climbed up a tree and launched herself onto the back of the last animal left loose.

Felix couldn’t help but let out a surprised sound, losing a fraction of the precious air they’d trapped in their lungs. The creature bucked wildly, emitting more and more gas until it was hard to see around it. They hardly noticed the mystery person’s movements from the woods, certainly couldn’t make out what was being done to the creatures trapped in the vines. All they could see was the shadow of the creature the zombie had jumped on, trying wildly to buck her off. If she fell…

Undead wasn’t the same as invincible. Felix knew that. He’d seen it proven in the Pit, time and time again when zombies or vampires fought and walked away with just as many bruises and bumps as the shifters did, even if those injuries promised a quicker healing time. Healing wasn’t the same as not hurting. And Felix didn’t think the zombie deserved to hurt.

Determined, the balam shifted their hand so that their fingers ended in sharp claws. They didn’t like the idea of hurting the creature, but what choice did they have? They needed to keep anyone else from being injured by it, be that the zombie, their unseen companion, or the people in town. Rushing forward and dodging the wild hooves with practiced skill, Felix ducked underneath the creature and dug their claws into its underside, hoping to at least slow its rampage.

---

At this point, Mackenzie didn’t know what any of her partners were up to. All she could focus on was clinging on for dear death. The way it bucked and twirled had reminded her of the mechanical bull episode on Dropped. She rode that fucking thing so many times, that by the end of the filming day, she couldn’t even walk back to her dressing room. This was a very similar situation, but somehow she had still managed to lean into its fur and speak softly to it, “Hey Girl…easy. I don’t want to hurt you. None of us want to hurt you. We just want you to calm down okay?” She still had a tight grip on the creature's fur, but she took the risk and started to stroke it softly on the neck with her other hand.

It had seemed to be working, until she heard the beast yelp out in pain. And start bucking even more than it had been before. Letting her other hand latch back onto its fur, she somehow continued to hang on while it started to slow down some, but just like the sweet aroma of anything dead or knocking on death’s door, Mackenzie could smell the blood that was seeping into its fur underneath and that meant only one thing.

A zombie that could barely control herself on the back of a wounded animal was like Edward Cullen sparkling in the sunlight. It just went together, and as she could feel herself losing her mind and her eyes starting to glaze over, the zombie’s reflexes started to slow, except for her insatiable need to feed. And with a wide maw, bit down hard into the creature's back and yanked out a piece of flesh just before being thrown off the animal and hard to the ground below, where she lay motionless.

---

As above, so below. A statement the humans took literally — mirrored on both sides of the stomper. A reflection that was shattered, as the above was flung higher to the sky. Flying with the same grace as a beetle: destined to fall. Fall into madness as well, for Burrow had seen how the human tore into the beast’s hide. Was that the effects of this strange toxin in the air? It would explain why they had both launched themselves onto the rampaging beast. At least it was a madness she avoided with her closed lips. She avoided the fallen human as well, as she diverted her course slightly.

A course Burrow was not sure had a finish line. Though her vines still coiled about the stomper’s legs, it was not assisted by its brethren. They tripped and staggered the mighty beast, but lacked the security of the ones before. She did not trust to approach it. Nor did she feel much of a need. With the stomper’s kin dead, the smog of death had become a haze. Certainly irritable to most hosts and devastating to the ones too stupid to avoid, but her parasites were much the same. As long as the hosts still stood to provide for her parasites, she did not care.

To whom the stomper would provide became a question. All of Burrow’s parasites had sufficient arguments. It was already her worms’ home, but a home that had become pitiful and failing. The beast had impressive gusto despite its wounds, but for how long? Her vines would make use of it no matter its state, even in death. Oh, but she could not choose. Their wants were her wants were their wants: she could not choose because they could not choose. Both sides wanted themselves as sole owner. So, she would wait and see which want would be victorious. Make your claim and make it quick.

Burrow returned to her role from before. A silent observer to the whims of nature.

---

The beast bucked the zombie off its back, and Felix released a little of the precious air from their lungs in the form of a stilted gasp. She’d be okay; logically, he knew that. After all, they’d seen Monty get his arm torn off, and he was texting just a few days after the fact. Zombies were much more resilient than balam. (Felix tried not to think about his mother in the woods, bullets tearing through her flesh. They tried not to think about it but, sometimes, it was difficult to think about anything else.)

With the jaguar’s sharp ears, they heard the hidden companion from the woods approaching. They turned to look, sharp eyes finding her as she came to a stop and observed the scene. She wasn’t helping anymore. Why wasn’t she helping anymore? Felix glanced down at their hand, at the claws they were trying to conceal by folding it into a fist. Had she seen them? Was she afraid? The thought made Felix feel a little uneasy. They’d never wanted anyone to be afraid of them, but so many people were. A monster was a monster, especially when its claws were soaked in blood.

But there wasn’t much else to do, was there? The beast was stomping. It was still heading towards town, its hooves were still landing too close to the zombie’s head where she lay. With a quiet resolve, Felix launched themself forward again, using a little more of that air stored up in the jaguar’s lungs to murmur apologies as their claws tore into the creature’s back.

---

Mackenzie was stunned, and it had taken her a minute to get back to her feet; narrowly being squashed by giant hooves. She knew it had been rather risky, but she had hoped the piece she had taken out of the animal’s back had slowed — nope. Never mind. The sound of the wailing creature, as Felix dug their claws into its back (wait…claws?) alerted the zombie that her efforts had been hopeless. And though she had wished it hadn’t come to this, at least the town and the farm full of the undead were all safe.

She watched as the beast stumbled around. Its pace slowed, but her concern grew for the person latched on top. They looked like Wolverine hanging in the back of the creature. And then her eyes shifted to someone else. The mystery voice from the woods. So they did have a solid form! Mackenzie couldn’t quite tell who was a ghost and who was real anymore. But her attention turned back to Felix, who was probably going to need a little more back up, “Hey! You! Person from the woods! I’m assuming your vines are what tripped up the other beasts? Can you use them to get me back on top of that thing? I think it’s going to take all of us together simultaneously to stop this creature!” She looked at the person, who stood silently.

---

Eyes ticked, ticked, ticked back and forth in pursuit of her target. But no longer was Burrow filled with a need to do more. In that air of calamity, she had found her peace. Either way this ended, the beast would be claimed by her parasites. She did not care which way nature decided, as long as that host continued to squirm in her grasp. And squirm it did, as it ricocheted off every rock and crack. Lost without the aid of its brethren, the stomper ripped through the land like a train with no track. Yet, that human who remained, continued to remain. The human should have been sent crashing right into the other, and yet, he didn’t. Her attention on the display was no longer casually placed. She focused onto the human — onto the hands that gripped. No, not gripped. They slashed; they tore; they bore nature’s blades. The curve of the claws were familiar: feline. Feline… Was that one of na lèintean craiceann? It would make sense why the cat had been so keen on assisting the human, for they all loved the humans so.

A generosity the human thought would be shared in Burrow. She asked for help where no help would be found. Burrow continued to stare in silence, with no interest in giving the human what she wanted. But, she could be persuaded. Her head tilted curiously. “I will use my vines to put you on the beast, if you promise me a favor of my choosing.” A vague proposition to match the ambiguity of the human’s potential. What could this human do for her?

---

It was like one of those mechanical bulls, Felix thought; they clung to the creature’s back as it swung and bucked, but they had a bit of an upper hand not often granted to cowboys in dive bars. Thanks to their claws, they could maintain their grip while also damaging the beast. It wasn’t something they really wanted to do, but… It was necessary, wasn’t it? The needs of the many versus the needs of the one. They couldn’t let this beast go into town with its poison breath and its damaging hooves, couldn’t let anyone else be hurt.

They also couldn’t take it out on their own.

They glanced to their companions, to the zombie and the girl from the woods. They seemed to be having a discussion, though Felix couldn’t make out the words over the sound of the creature’s rampaging hooves. Whatever they were talking about, the balam could only hope that it ended with them helping finish this job. Otherwise, they doubted they’d be able to hang on much longer, claws or no claws.

---

Mackenzie was starting to tire out, and the hard hit to the ground didn’t make things easier. If this beast wasn’t stopped soon, not only would they have a large beast to still take down, but a hunger stricken zombie with no functioning brain cells, “Uh, yeah! Whatever. Fine! Just get me up there!” Mack didn’t know the mysterious woods person had been fae. She didn’t know she was making a deal she was going to have to keep and that that very deal was binding and at the discretion of someone she’d only just met. But her heart was in the right place, and she knew it was going to take a team effort for this to work out for the betterment of everyone.

Once the promise had been made, Mack quickly scooped up a large rock as she could feel the vines sweeping her off of her feet, and before she knew it, she was back on the beast hanging onto its neck fur as she slowly inched her way up to its head with the decent sized rock still in her grip, “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to do this to you, but there’s no other choice and a lot of people could get hurt…” Mackenzie glanced back at the person latched onto the monster’s back with sad eyes, before turning her attention back on the animal, where she took the rock in both hands and started to repeatedly hit the animal over the head, but this time there was one goal in mind — get to its brain. With no brain, it couldn’t function, and she wouldn’t lose herself in the process.

---

The bind coiled around the human with the same eagerness as her vines gripped the stomper. Human and stomper alike were trapped in Burrow’s grasp. But their shared fate did not sprout any connection. As soon as the human was rejoined with the stomper, she ensured its end with each beat of that rock. Producing wet cracks far louder than any stomp of those hooved feet. Such a violent approach for one who seemed so compassionate. Emotional, yet brutally competent. Burrow could find usefulness with such a person. The specifics were yet to be determined — the depths of their exchange would wait until the reveal of the most efficient path. In that moment, Burrow was a simple bystander to all the wonderful ways the human could be used. Every vicious strike, every mournful cry, painted a grand picture of the human’s assets.

Those displays of the human’s usefulness chipped away at the stomper’s own. Beat after beat, the stomper’s feet lost its hold upon the ground. Only stubbornness kept the beast continuing forward, but even that threatened to seep through the cracks forming on its skull. A theft that was assisted by those greedy vines, who stole away the feet’s stability with a tight tug. Beast and cat and human alike tumbled to the ground for the last time. The stomper splayed upon the ground: its butcher block and early grave. With a final beat, any remnants of consciousness were smashed into bits that littered the forest floor.

Burrow waited at a distance, until that spray of gore ceased. As soon as the last piece oozed into the ground, she approached the fallen stomper. With eyes steady upon both the strangers, she called her parasites to the furthest limb from both. She grasped the stomper’s hindleg, watching both of the strangers carefully, as her worms wiggled into her waiting arms. To safety they burrowed, in hurried lines. Once the last worm was secured, she quickly moved back to her own safety. Back to the trees; back to a watchful stare. “I will tell you the favor when I decide what the favor will be.”

---

Each thud of the rock hitting the beast’s skull elicited a flinch from Felix in spite of their bloodied claws. They’d never liked violence, never enjoyed it. The fact that they seemed destined to exist in an endless cycle of it was a cruel twist of fate they weren’t sure how to get away from. At least here, it was a necessary thing. They were destroying this animal to save the people in the town below, were making a small sacrifice to save a large number. It wasn’t like in the Grit Pit, where Felix fought for the entertainment of people who wanted to see them hurt. It was better than that.

Finally, the beast fell. The thud of its body hitting the ground seemed to echo, and Felix winced at that, too. But it was over now, and over was better. Over was good. The girl from the woods came over, and Felix watched with wide eyes as she approached the fallen beast. Worms crawled from the dead animal and seemed to disappear into the strange woman. Felix had suspected by her behavior and her ability to hold her breath against the poison in the air that she wasn’t entirely human, but they had no idea what she was. It was probably rude to ask, so they didn’t.

With the creature dead and the poison dissipating, Felix let out the breath he’d been holding and took in a desperate gasp of oxygen. “That was — wow.” They breathed, stumbling back a little. “I, um… You guys did great.”

---

Mackenzie continued to beat upon the skull of the beast and with every blow to its cranium, a tear fell from her eyes. Despite their efforts to humanely stop the creature, this had become the outcome. Not only had Mackenzie become a monster when she was in a state she couldn’t control, but she had now felt like a monster in her waking hours. What was this town doing to her?

With one final blow and the tangle of the vines from the mysterious person from the woods, Mackenzie felt herself go down with the clawed person and the huge dying animal. And with a hard thud to the ground, found herself toppling off and the bloodied rock sent flying into the distance. The temptation to consume the nearly deceased animal was beginning to overtake her though as she crawled forwards to meet it again barely hearing the woman of the woods promise that she would be calling on a favor that Mackenzie would eventually have to keep. But it was the complement of how great they had all done that drove her gaze over to Felix, “This…isn’t something to celebrate…and I’d advise you to leave, unless you want to see what really happens when a zombie feeds…”

Her eyes were beginning to glaze from bloodlust and the oozing of the animal's mind onto the ground. And unable to contain herself any longer, the ravaged and dead human began to feast on her kill to satiate the needs of any injuries and temptations that could have plagued the entire town, if the team of three strangers hadn’t stopped the innocent animal from trampling Monty’s farm.

#para: apex predator #para: felix #para: burrow #recoveringdreamer #faoighiche #wickedswriting #unsanitary tw #head trauma tw #eye trauma tw #animal abuse tw

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yumikeki · 5 months

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How I'd go about reintroducing Mephiles back into Sonic lore(sorta)

So this isn't going to be super structured, its gonna be really rambly but its basically cuz i'm repeating the whole thought process I had while looking stuff up, brainstorming etc so sorry if it gets a bit long, so I'll put design stuff and the whole thing under a keep reading link. Got it? Good. Lets uh, do this.

So to go back to the very beginning, the sonic channel poll. That was a wild time haha. When i first saw it I wasn't initially interested in Mephiles. I would've voted for Vector or Sonicman tbh. But seeing people talking about how cool it would be to reintroduce a character that got wiped out of existence made it a bit more entertaining to me. Which made it suck a little more that he didnt win. But hey, im not complaining about Sonicman, good for him. But that got me thinking about how difficult it would be to reintroduce Mephiles. After all, he came from a very infamous game that still leaves scars in Sonic's history, and having him just come back when his whole story revolved around a game that ppl do not want back is tricky. At least with Silver they rewrote his future a bit, and Blaze already had lore. Elise might still exist but they can mention Soleanna without having to explore too much of its past game story. Mephiles was pivotal to a plot that Sega does not want to bring back. So, i don't think they'd want to bring him back in his initial form. I also think they're trying to stray from the god stuff Sonic 06 brought into the series(besides the End).

But then I thought about IDW's canon. Where its almost sorta filler, it'll acknowledge the games but the game will only reference its characters and story in passing(so far). IDW would probably be the best place to put Mephiles so that he gets an arc without it affecting the mainline games, but still exist. Still I think we need to go further in. Solaris was not only killed in the future, but erased from existence in the beginning. Existence was rewritten to what it is now, how to you bring back a character that was not only killed, but erased? Well for the killed part, what about reincarnation? Weakened to a mortal form with lesser powers(still reminiscent of the past, but not to the time manipulation powers it once was. Essentially, mostly just the shadow powers with some new perks, but no time travel or time god powers). There can be many ways to introduce a reincarnated character, but I have an idea in mind ill elaborate on later. Next, for the erased part. Well, my idea was, why not use Null Space? Maybe what Eggman assumed was a realm created by the Phantom Ruby was actually a pocket dimension where things that didnt make sense in the new reality were put into. It has so little lore and its not very explored, rewriting it a tad wouldn't be a big deal. There was things in Null Space, despite it being described as a place of nothingness. Everything that was from the 06 reality that couldnt fit neatly into the new one was put into this pocket dimension that's essentially the void. Thats where "Mephiles" has been this entire time.

Back to the reincarnation bit, having a character like this means that while this character is in fact Mephiles, it also sorta isn't. I think this grey line where it brings back Mephiles but can be its own character in time would help ppl feel more confident in bringing him back. He wont be 100% the same, but he still has those qualities that made him seem so cool in the first place. Cold, manipulative, and destructive. Trying to always be one step ahead of others.

My idea of bringing Mephiles back would be in the form of a child. Why? Well when I think of being reverted to a weakened state, i sometimes default to children. Children also represent untapped potential, the ability to grow and change, and be easily influenced by their environment. For a character that beckons to the past but also has the ability to grow beyond it, being a child makes sense to me thematically. Also the idea of the edgy, cold merciless personality being in the body of a child is endearing to me. I actually designed a hedgehog form for this character that's supposed to harken back to Mephiles' initial form, but look like his own person. Its not what I think is the ideal form for the character, but hey i tried. My tablet broke tho so its only a doodle.

I like the straightjacket look of it, and it's loosely based on the scepter of darkness because this body is a mortal cage for Mephiles' soul. Its supposed to look like a creepy edgy kid, Mephiles himself is kinda offputting in that way anyways. Might simplify the little thorn spikes from the shoes or waist, or remove em entirely. The coat is also supposed to cover his body markings, in case one would want to keep his identity a bit of a surprise, initially. The claws are summoned, not inherently a part of his body. Looks like Mephiles' hands, just bigger. Also partially inspired by Sig from Puyo Puyo.

Since this is Mephiles-but-sorta-not, he needed a new name. I wanted to keep it close to the original Mephiles while still having its own identity, so I did research. And uh, it was probably very obvious for most but he's supposed to symbolize both God and the devil? So Mephiles is short for Mephistopheles from Faust, which also became another name for Satan. Iblis was a demon in the Islamic tradition that is also another name for Satan somewhat. And Solaris, which is a name that harkens to the sun(being a sun and time god), also harkens to Satan's original name Lucificer(meaning light-bringer/bearer, keep that in mind). Plus with the 6's of different features in the first phase and then turning into an angel of light in the final, its kinda obvious who Mephiles is supposed to represent. Well, besides also being a fusion of the concept of God, for relating to light and time. On a side note, looking into a game ive played but had no interest in, Sonic 06 really was supposed to be such an ambitious game. It had all these plot intricacies, metaphors, and the weight of fighting a god was supposed to be really heavy. It was supposed to be the biggest fight in Sonic history. The biggest bad who ever bad-ded. It was meant to be so important. It was probably obvious to most, but it was only by looking into it that I got an appreciation for 06. Its just a shame that it ended up how it did. But anyways, back to names. So I wanted to follow the same theme as Mephiles, Iblis, and Solaris, being that they are all names for the Devil. Lucifer was considered the original name for the Devil, but I dont want to be that obvious. Well, i looked into the name, and Lucifer actually had greek origins with i believe the God of Venus. Well, another name for the god of Venus was Phosphorus(which guess what, also means light-bringer!). So i shortened it, and behold, the new name is Phos. So we have a design and a name! Whats the story?

Well, I don't have everything planned out, but I did have a few bullet points I'll post here:

Reincarnation of Mephiles, stripped of divine power but has his shadow manipulation still

Lives in the Null Void from Forces(the Null Void is actually a pocket of space created when the original reality deleted itself.)

When Sonic enters and escapes Null Void, Phos leaves as well.

Has no memories, bumps into sonic and co

Wants to learn who he is, gets attached to sonic due to familiarity

Hates shadow, like original counterpart

Shadow does not trust him at all, and Sonic is suspicious but hey, they dont know who Mephiles is anyways. The kid looks sketchy but hes also abandoned and amnesiac, it would feel pretty bad to beat up a child. Maybe not for Shadow lol.

Has extreme empathy, but no sympathy: Is able to read people to an inhuman degree and reflect their emotions like a mirror due to lacking individuality(initially)

Starts off as cold and emotionless, incredibly manipulative due to the ability to detect the feelings of his target.

Ends up living with Vanilla and Cream as compromise(its really funny that Cream befriends a demon baby)

He does good things and makes friends not cuz he wants to, but because he figures making allies and doing what he can so they dont kick him out will help out more in the long run. When he messes up and his morality is questioned, hes able to barely stay by putting things in his favor and talking it out.

Maybe initially tries to manipulate Sonic, but later learns of the strength of his character.

Gradually not only understands the emotions of others, but begins to absorb them as well, gaining his own feelings based on the ideals of the people in his life, primarily Sonic, Shadow, and Silver(the three who killed him in the first place)

Eventually learns about the truth, plots to regain his other half and reach his deity status somehow

Maybe ties into targeting Blaze for her fire powers? Could be related to what happened to Iblis after the reset.

????

When he realizes he wants to be his own person and choose his life, its too late and he's becoming Mephiles.

Sonic and co go to save him, fight ensues, Phos helps from inside his own shattered mind, and is eventually able to revert back to normal, keeping his weakened powers but is not inherently evil or empty anymore. Still kinda cold and crafty but he's doing it for good(or what he believes in good, kinda stubborn like Shadow).

Joins the cast as a regular character.

So for his powers, I kinda simplified them into a few things:

Shadow manipulation powers. Absorbs shadows, can merge into shadows to hide or teleport between them. Maybe the shadow balls come back, not sure. Can make shadow-y clones too.

Crystalline powers. Harkens back to his past body. Is able to make claws out of a crystal like substance and slash at things. Maybe can shoot them like projectiles too.

Idk if he'd keep his ability to morph into other peoples appearances though. IDW already has that one guy and its not like Mephiles made exact copies. Plus he already has his own body. Considering that Phos is meant to be somewhat empty inside and reflects the emotions of his peers, it could be fitting. Maybe when he becomes more introspective he shifts into the appearances of other characters when he thinks about them. idk.

But uh yea that was everything i had written down(i made notes based on the late night brainworms I was getting that lasted a couple of hours. This was the fruit of that labor haha.) I'm not saying this is the perfect way of bringing him back, its possible people will be upset with this version or not prefer it, but hey i like it so its gotta mean something. Technically by writing this down it kinda guarantees SEGA would not use it anyways, so its not important anyways. I might keep this as my own oc and doodle more concepts of this schemer demon baby in the future though, I think it's really neat. The idea of having a powerful small child with emotionless whims that you pray stays on your side is very cool to me, and this whole thing was fun practice anyways. I hope you guys have a good one, if you have any critiques or ideas you'd like to share id love to hear it. Just uh, be nice to me please lol. I'm trying my best. But yea that's it, thanks for entering my brainstorming personal hell.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #mephiles the dark #just rambles #this was really fun #i enjoyed the brainworms #i even made a playlist of edgy vocaloid that inspired me for this story

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the1975attheirverybest · 5 months

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It is true that i need to learn to learn to stand to lose too because i was a 'gifted kid' and i dont think i need to say how scared i am of coming out as 'talentless' lol

I think a big part of it is also that i dont feel very supported? Which i think is partly my fault because i know my family doesnt really understand any artistic medium and none of my friends are in the music field and dont really get why im dping this if im not studying music (which is actually so silly to think because why do i have to stick to only one form of art?)

In lighter terms, ive been writhing a lot lately and felt quite proud of some stuff i came out with, and finished one i cry everytime i play so i was quite happy with how i could capture it out.

Its so scary to let people see how you think but ill try to work on it, thanks halla for taking the time to respond to this, i really really appreciate it 💕

-🤖

Ohhhh babeee. I get that believe me 💗💗 I’m a scholarship kid who got into the Ivy leagues (if you’re not in the US: Harvard, Stanford, MIT, UPenn etc) but then had a mental breakdown and almost got kicked out of the program. Believe me, I know how you feel. the perfectionism is a blessing and a curse lmao. I also come from generations of a STEM family who don’t really get the whole literature thing hahahha. Growing up, I was always told “can’t you just….read books as a hobby? Get a degree that pays money!” (Which is fair enough. Unemployment rates for English PhDs is 60% they’re not wrong lmao).

But that’s where I think Matty’s statement, though dramatic, is serially true. Artists who stop making art would go insane. You did not choose this music thing. It chose you. And if you forced yourself to just not do it anymore and try something “safe” that you can excel at easily to scratch that perfectionist need to do everything in the best possible way, then you might be happy for 5 seconds. But you’ll eventually start to miss the music and do anything you can to get back to it. That’s how I feel now about my abandoned degree in creative writing lol. Keep at it. Life is too short to hold back from things that you love just cuz some dumbass out there who can’t get their head out of their ass doesn’t like what you have to say. Good news!! There is soooo much music out there for all sorts of folks and their tastes. The people who like you will choose you and those who don’t can fuck off and go find some music they do like!

Oh hey no thanks necessary. I’m really glad you’re doing this. We need artists all the time. Can never have enough!

Maybe try this: make a song about being scared to make songs for this project and maybe include it in the project? Could be therapeutic? Haha.

#🤖anon

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hella1975 · 2 years

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hey I have life advice to ask and if it's not cool then just go ahead and delete this-

I'm gonna be 17 soon and I was pulled out of school due to stuff I couldn't really control, so I dont really have a college/university to expect in about 2 years ish if I cant pull through out of my depression/anxiety and take the GED tests (american testing, its like a substitute for a highschool diploma, which is.... shit idk the differences to england but either way if I cant study and complete 4 giant tests, colleges/universities wont be available to me. I think.). I really could just move about anywhere I'm able to, and there's this place that I really, really love. I've done everything I can to know about it besides GOING there, because it is incredibly far away from my home. Really fucking far. It's been smth of an idea of mine I've held on to a year, like all the towns and places I dive into I just keep coming back to that spot. It feels like the one, like I can't really see myself growing old because of my depression but I can SEE it there, and I've never felt that.

The thing is I know from a few older mutuals of mine (and just other adults in gen) that things can change and while you might go to uni/college for [X Thing] you'll come out with something else you found so you'll now have [Y Thing]. like what you're expecting or want is going to change as you learn more or delve into it. I don't know how much I should take that to heart really? There's this fear that's been placed into me that I can't actually think for myself if I'm always going to be changing. I'm so confident about this rn but what about later? Sorry if this freaks you out too JFNSJMW like we're about 2-3 years apart but it just feels like so MUCH, I wanted your advice since you've got the uni experience I might miss out on

(My family is fine really like they're not going to kick me out or anything, they've just got other problems ig that I'd like to escape from because a lot of what they do has me just.. stuck with myself. It sucks being a teenager because I'm just in the middle of it all)

hi anonstie! sorry for the slow reply to this, i hope im not too late to any decision making. thank you so much for trusting me with this, it's a really scary situation for any teenager deciding on something that seems so defining, let alone with mental illness factors and possible family pressures. trust me I GET THAT. so everything i say is my opinion very tainted by my own bias and personal experiences, but you know that and asked me anyway so im gonna assume we're clear on that okay:

so as someone who not only has the uni experience but overall LOVES uni like could not have picked a better option i love my uni life i love my friends i love my independence so much that i stick doing a subject i HATE bc i love my life here so much - coming from someone in that position, you want to know what i think? if you're not sure about going to uni and genuinely think you'd be happier elsewhere, do not go. im being so serious. university is a challenge, and people know that, but you have to take what you think it's gonna be like and double how hard it really is. it's a fucking culture shock and a half and even those who settle in well (i like to think i did) still have trouble finding their feet, and it's fucking scary. you have to have a level of certainty to manage it. idk maybe im being too extreme here but ive seen so many people who regret uni and are the loneliest they've ever been, and if you already have mental illness weighing on you that's not a boat you want to be in even if you might not end up like that.

the option does not vanish just because you didn't do it at the 'correct' age. i can see ur stress around the exams and while i know fuck all about american education, i refuse to believe there's no ways around it or ways to redo at a later time, or even if you do just wind up with not very good qualifications, somewhere will take you. i was convinced that if i didnt get out of my hometwon at 18 with the natural progression in academia then i would be stuck there forever, and part of me still believes that no matter how silly it is, which is why i outright refuse to drop my subject even on the days when it eats me alive, because i think if i drop out i'll get stuck in my hometown. uni was an escape for me and that's one of the reasons i love it so much. but over time, while it still lingers i wont pretend it doesnt, ive realised how wrong that mindset is. there's so many types of people at university. some people come onto campus with their children. some people are middle-aged. some people just did a gap year. my own flatmate is a second year uni student just like us but she's a year older bc she dropped out of first year bc of covid and reapplied. uni made me realise how common MESSINESS is. i hardly know anyone who got here on the really straight and narrow route, and maybe that's just part of being the covid cohort who knows but there's not a 'correct' way of doing things.

idk i think school is very rigid UNTIL you reach eighteen, and bc the universe is such a bitch you only realise how fluid everything gets post-eighteen ONCE YOUVE MADE THE DECISIONS.

so yeah, if you want to know what i think? chase that place that's calling to you. worst case scenario is it lets you down but you finally scratch the itch; that alone is something to live for. if you ever change your mind, university and that path isn't going anywhere. there's always so much choice, we just sometimes box ourselves in until it feels like there isnt

#i feel for you genuinely you couldnt pay me any money in the world to be 18 and scared again #it's truly fucked how little guidance we get just to turn a corner and realise everything truly is fine #like geniunely things work themselves out and adulthood teaches you that #there are scary awful horrible horrible times of course. but you have autonomy and there's always options #it's not as overwhelming anymore #ask

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stylinsoncity · 1 year

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Hey! Long time reader, first time... ask sender? I read caya more than a year ago and ever since it's been a constant presence in my life, as if in I think about it at least once a day, and re-read it at random, all the time. I'm usually pretty aromantic and caya is the only work of romance fiction that I liked, ever. One of the reasons why I'm so obsessed with it is that I love the story and I love the characters, but I also don't fully understand it, it's, at this point in my life, too mature for me to fully comprehend. So it's one of these things you keep close hoping that one day you'll get it. I'm 19, so not a lot of experience in life and none in the romance department, and in that idealistic everything is black/white right/wrong phase of life, and caya, with it's complex humans and emotions and motives is kinda unreachable for me. And when presented with something like that, I'm usually just annoyed by it, but I wasn't at all with caya, I immediately just had some kind of respect for it, like, this is simply too complex for you. But anyways, onto the point of this ask. When I re-read it's usually parts after Barbados, so I kinda forgot everything that happens in the begining. I started from chapter 1 today and I was at the part where we meet Emily, and I realized I kinda forgot what she's like, and I'm paying way more attention to the bits about her now. I was wondering if you always knew she was going to die, or if you considered some alternatives. I haven't really wondered before what would've happened if she wasn't sick. I think in any other story, killing of a character like that would be in order to simplify it, but that's not the case with caya. So did you ever consider a different ending for her?

Thank you for this ask! And thank you for stating so clearly how the story makes you feel. I do think caya comes from a place within me of realizing that things aren't black/white or right/wrong. I've experienced love and friendship where that's not the case and it doesn't lessen the value or the importance of those relationships at all. It's actually still something I struggle to comprehend, though, too. Like I still do wish people could just do the right thing all the time, but that assumes that we always know what the right thing is. And I definitely don't. I wish we were never disappointed or periodically let down by people we care about. I get frustrated when this isn't the case. But then I realize that I've let people down. I've made mistakes. It's human to fail and to blunder and to misunderstand. And the only way we like move forward and grow is by extending grace to others and to ourselves. Soooo much easier said than done though. Life is fucking hard lmao... caya is so important to me because it reflects that, but ends on a happy note, which is all we can hope for.

I wish there was a way to save Emily just because it's an awful way for anyone to die. She had so much life left to live and it would've been nice for her to fall in love with someone who could actually fall in love with her. But from the beginning, I always knew her illness would be terminal. I don't think a divorce would be enough to set Louis free of her, unfortunately. I think hitting rock bottom and being completely alone and having to resuscitate himself is what leads Louis to self-actualization. In the absence of love (which I equate with grief), he knows what he needs to fully heal is Harry's love. Nothing else will do.

I don't think he would have hit rock bottom in the same way if Emily lived. And I don't think if she were to go on living, they would have the honest conversation they do in her hospital room in chp 20. I don't know. I can't picture it, but maybe there's a universe where Emily lives and Louis sees the light by some other means. I have to say, a part of me always regrets killing characters solely because it's sad, even when I think it's necessary for the story. Like I wish she didn't die, but then there'd be no story. Or there'd be a different story that doesn't hit the same way!

#caya

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cloudslou · 1 month

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Hii im back. Good morning, i hope you slept well and that your day will be great.

Okay now to answer the message from before.

I am not into any motorsports or even watching other sports. I've mever found watching them fun, maybe its because i like playing sports better although i haven't done that in a while either 😅 but im always up for listening to others who do like watching them talk about them. But i think motorsports might actually be different so yes maybe i will take a look at f1academy.

Haha okay ill look away if you say so.

And about coming off anon, hmm maybe ill dm you? Its a little scary but i shall do it.

I have mostly just been slumping and i end up watching stuff on youtube instead. The last show i watched was s3 of young royals when it was released and i watched s1 and s2 of that in the end of 2023. And i think the second last show I've watched was shameless. And then there were two movies i watched recently where one was a rewatch. Idk if you've watched either of these. But even with them they were things i wanted to watch but it took a while to actually start them. Im like that with fics and books too. I usually need something to push me to pick one out of the long list of stuff i have (+ it also depends on how easy it is to find the stuff too). So for example ill see a post or posts about something and then ill go okay lets just pick this now. 😅 so hey i think this is that for derry girls! Now i have to update you on watching it too.

oooh what sports did you play?? i dabbled a but growing up but never stuck with anything, and now the only sport i watch is motor sports. i want to watch more sports but i just can never seem to find the time or motivation, so instead i have a few players i like and i just hope they’re doing well. (in footy it’s jude bellingham and marcus rashford, and i do believe jude recently did well! or his team did. u know.)

u don’t have to do anything scary if u don’t want i’m happy to chat via anon but i don’t think IM scary. i don’t rlly ignore ppl unless it’s like spam or randos? like idk ppl who mass sends messages to ppl cus they want followers or want to send u a donation post (which i usually think r scams in this case?).

i understand the slumping bc i think i’ve been there. i’ve been watching a LOTTTTT of youtube. what kind of videos are you watching?? i’ve been trying to get thru shows i want to watch but it’s slow going, but in currently making good time on bridgerton season 2! i’m rewatching before season 3.

i HAVE seen young royals and shameless!!! i haven’t yet seen s3 of young royals cus i also what to rewatch that to remember all that went on so i can go into s3 refreshed. and then shameless was like. my greatest guilty pleasure when i was younger. i think i’ve seen thru 9 seasons of it? just horrible. but so addicting.

#ask #anon

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nodadnochance · 5 months

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Why my brother is an awful person.

I am childless. I am 29, 30 very soon. I am getting old!!! (i half joke, 30 is hardly old but it's not exactly young and naive anymore - or maybe i dunno, i am naive and just don't realize it, right?) My brother is mid to late 30s, probably around 36 or 37. He has 3 children. He has left them.

I think he is scum. Would it of been so hard for him to stick around for the next decade so his kids can become old enough to have had their development process happen with their dad in their lives? Physically.

He now is living back at home with my mum, he sees his kids 2-4 times a week. Which is more than a lot of kids have. But it still makes me angry. Why Angry? Why do I care what my brother does with his family? His kids? I care because it's the same fucking cycle.

Our dad left us, now he has done the same to them.

And now those kids are struggling.

Look, Im not saying itsall his fault. but its all his fault. Actually, it really was his fault. He cheated on his wife. then he had the gall to say "well she kicked me out". fuck you! You put the pressure on her to decide how to relationship goes so that you could blame her for breaking things up.

By contrast, my mother cheated on my father - but my mother has never blamed my father for leaving. She always says she is to blame and i say to her "no your not". I have yet to tell her "look, you stuck around. He didn't. Whether anyone cheated or not, is not really relevant to me as a child - I didn't care if anyone cheated. i just wanted my parents with me growing up"... i will tell her next time she eludes to this sentiment...

It makes me angry because I see how my neices and nephews are struggling to cope wit this big change. They are probably ages 8 tto around 13. Maybe bit younger. They are not enjoying this. I had my neices kicking and stamping on MY feet in the supermarket just before christmas 2023.... now, they were playing, just messing around - right? But think about it like this. I look like my brother, i sound like him, i am similar to him. Were they taking out aggression on their father through me? It's a possibility. They don't deserve to lose their dad just cos he wanted to go "have fun".

And now look. He is living back home with me and my mother. He is with his new girlfriend. He is playing in a band. He has a job he loves (he struggled to find this job). He is doing so well for himsefl! but hey, guess what - Your kids are not. They miss you. You absolute cretin.

When you have kids, you dont get to "have fun". You dont get to just fuck off with another women. When you have kids, you stick around and raise them. EVERY DAY. Every morning, evening evening and night time. Every weekend. All the time. They are your everything for that 18-20 year period. Once they are all grown up and on their way to move out (once they start having a plan for their 20s) THEN you can fuck off and go "be happy" Let me explain why I think like this. He wants to enjoy his late 30s and 40s right? sure. fine. We all deserve to be happy. But in exchange for his hpapiness now, he has doomed all three of his children to a life of abandonment. Or misery. of Feeling unloved and unwelcome on this earth. Why? Because the one person who should've stuck around, didn't. They wont care about his relationship with his wife. They wont care about the excuses. They wont listen and they wont care. What they care about is the love for them didn't win over his hatred for his wife or his inability to make things work.

this world is full of people who make excuses for their shitty decisions. And his excuse is "well she wanted me gone" so he can lay the blame on her becuase he cheated. In reality he is gone becuase he fucked another women when he had 3 kids at home.

I hope one day he can just admit to himself, if not his kids - that their childhood is ruined because of him.

It's what happened to me. And it's whats happening to them.

I don't truly have any ill intention or feeling towards my brother as a person. But my need to speak up for his kids, who probably are unable to process what is going on, triumphs. It's disgusting that they probably take decades to figure out why the feel so awful - just as it has been for me and all 3 of my brothers. We all feel it.This brother in question will deny how much it effected him - but it's clear as day. He is still suffering from the "being lied to" problem which i wrote about in my last post. He still thinks "well dad was kinda around, he did his best" and he still puts the feelings of our Dad and step mum before his own. He never has spoken about how it effected him. EVER. and by not speaking it meant he didn't understand and now he has done to them what happened to him,me and all my brothers.

If i said any of this to him, he'd defend my dad and step mum. He'd deny my feelings and say "you cannot feel that way, because if you feel that thne tat upsets dad" and so again, it'll be that my dads feelings and my stepmums feeling comes before mine. The story of my life since I was 6 years old.

I know I probably come across as very strident or aggressive here. but you must understand (if anyone is reading?). I have kept this all bottled up since a child. I've been through a lot of emotional suffering over the past 23 years. And it's all becoming clear to me why. and I need to write this stuff out as naturally as I can. It's time I started being honest with my feelings, right? And not being scared of being told off for hurting someone elses feelings.

I was lied to. Dad didn't "stick around". he left me. He doesn't give a shit. You could say he simply doesn't understand and is ignorant of the effect it had on me. but im sick and tired of making excuses for him. I am upset, angry and feel abandoned by him.

And every friend of mine that didn't have their dad, is like me. We all yhave the same fucking emotional problems, same fucked up drug dependancies, same feelings of fear and nnot feeling loved by anyone. My frined says he only feels love from his dogs. Which you could "well thats pretty normal". and if you say that, fuck you. He is a human and he has a heart of gold. He does feel loved, but it has to be re-inforced constantly for him to feel it. And when he gets in abusive relationships - he thinks he deserves that abusive relationshp. Why? Becuase when your dad leaves you when your young, it creates this deep rooted feeling of feeling unloved and worse - unlovable. IF you in your most infant state is not lovable, then you could never be lovable.

Being an adult and seeing how adults disregard the feelings of those who are too young to understand - kills me. It happened to me, i know what its like.

I am childless, so what do I know right? Well, what I know is that since I started being honest about how I feel about my Dad - my mental health "therapy" has made a lot of progress. I've learnt that the link between me and all my fked up friends is the no dad present. I've learnt the reason I gravitate towards bad guys, is I have no fucking dad.

In fact, I was reading about "this is england" earlier and it mentioned their something about how the character in the story, has no dad. And it's this lack of a father figure that leads people down these awful roads.

I watched so much fucked up shit over the past 10 years. Nothing illegal of course but just right wing crap. I never believed I was racist nor homophobic or anything - in fact, i found it all just funny. I never once agreed with the bigots - but I wanted to be around them (on podcats and such). I wanted to be part of that "thing". I wanted to belong. I wanted to be apart of something which wouldn't just abandoned me.

This is my life. It's my emotions.

I am not blaming anyone for my actions or what I've done just as I wouldn't give them credit for the good things I've done. However, my life is one where I never spoke about my feelings towards my Dad because of early childhood experiences where I was taught to not express myself or talk about how I feel. Where as my sister, who is my dads daughter - is always encouraged to talk about her feelings and how she feels.

So that is proof that HE HAS IT WITHIN HIM. but not for me.

I want to write the words. I hate him. I don't mean hate, but I don't know how else to express the dislike I have for how he has denied my emotions all my life. I don't want to hurt him, emotionally, but I want him to understand the hurt I feel. How the hell do I tell him the hurt I feel without accidently hurting him? That is the challenge I face.

Another thing I'm angry at my dad and step mum for is the way they turned me against my mum. They always talk so badly of her and they plaed on the fact I didn't ge ton with her fully. If I argued with her, they'd encouage me to move out and get away from her and suc hthings.

They didn't try to help heal my relationship with my mum, they stoked the flames all under the guise of being my friend.

That's my mum and my mum ALWAYS has had my back. from day 1 to today. I literally will hand her £100 rent (which is absolutely fuck all) and she'll hand me back £50. That's my mum. She is 1 in a million. and the fact they cant see how amazing she is, makes me well, i dont care actually - thats their loss. But it makes me angry they thought they could turn me against her.

it makes me angry they always talk about her in a negative light when im there. and they talk about her likes shes stupid or just too angry or unstable. They are nasty little bullies and i guess, sometimes, we buddy buddy up with bullies without realising it.

That women, my step mum, is a homewrecker. Plain and simple.

and it feels good to finally admit thats how i feel

I would never say these things to their face. As iI say, I do not want to hurt them (emotionally or ofc otherwise. violence is not my MO. I attacked 2 people n my life when I was a child and I was defending friends who were being bullied - i regret both instances as I felt embaressed for letting myself lose control)

/ I wouldn't want my dad nor step mum to be upset. But I'd love them to know how I feel.

I'd love my brother to know how it feels. He was a child too, he should know. But he just pretends like it doesn't effect him. I know he has feelings, his problem is he is a coward. But then so am I and so are all my brothers. We're all cowrads. Scared to tell our dad what he did to us fucked up us royally. He fucked off with another women to start a new family... and then his new child, my half-sister, has a life full of love, understanding and everything a child needs. They take interest in her life.

He nevre took interest in our life. In fact my mum had to force him to go to my college open evening and he was complaining the whole time. I wish he didn't come. I remember him getting in the car and saying something like "I bet ur mother said i dont care. right?" and made a joke about it... setting the tone for the evening that it's all about HIM and HIS feelings.

"fuck you" is what i should've said to him.

but i was scared.

maybe next time ill write about the time he attacked me. it only happened one time, but it was fucking terrifying.

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winderlylandchime · 8 months

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2/2That scene where Justin runs up the stairs and jen is in the loft happened ‘oh god I just had a war flashback to that hustler lookalike running up the stairs. Thank god this time it is MY Blondie and not an imposter! AHHHH ITS JEN! JEN AND BRIAN! THEYRE TOGETHER! FINALLY THEYRE HANGING OUT! HI HONEY *looks at me* what? I wanted to join in. HES SELLING THE LOFT?! WHAT THE HELL. I DIDNT PUT THIS ON MY LIST! Not gonna lie, I actually hate when people say make love but ill let it pass here. Because it’s them.’ ‘I know i said I want Emmett and Brian working together. But I really love the fact that Em and Vic are working together…hey, do you think we are gonna be like Deb and Vic when we grow up? FAIRIES?! I want to go to the woods as a fairy.’ ‘THATS RIGHT JUSTIN TELL THEM! BRIAN DID IT! Oh fuck you both, what justin shouldve said was “hey Brian is so in debt that you guys wont be able to get shit from him anymore” and they would offer help in seconds.’ ‘Why the fuck is Ted back? Dude! We said we’re gonna get help! Get your ass back in there! Oh fuck, Emmett is giving him tough love. Good. Hopefully Ted fucking listens’ Hunters court hearing is now up ‘OH FUCK THIS JUDGE! Who the fuck sees that past and goes eh maybe theyve changed. Fuck her. (Hunters mom reacts to him saying he has hiv) ..WHY IS EVERYONE KISSING EVERYONE ON THE MOUTH?! OH FUCK THIS BITCH, FUCK HER ALL THE WAY TO HELL. HUNTER BETTER STAY WITH THE BORING COUPLE’ And the party for Brian is up!!!! ‘Look at them being all cute and shit. How many benefits do they have? AH ITS THE DRAG QUEEN!!! GIVE ME THE PERFORMANCE OF A LIFETIME GIRL!!! Why is no one tipping her? Yall suck! Whats going on? OH MY GOD. THEYRE DOING THIS FOR BRIAN? Oh he’s onto Blondie..i doubt he’ll accept it but thank fuck they finally help him instead of just using him all the time. Awww he is emotional. It’s okay Bri Bri, I won’t tell anyone.’ ‘Oh fuck you Deb, Brian would accept help but you people are always horrible to him. I need more of the Drag Queen, oh her name is Shanda. Nice. Look at Brian and Justin hanging out with her, i know for a fact Brian is cool with all the queens. *pauses tv and jumps up* HALF OF GAY PITTSBURGH CAN SLEEP IN THEIR OWN BED! BECAUSE ONLY ONE CAN STAY OVER TO SLEEP!! Awww that was cute! I liked this episode. It was sweet and cute and a nice start of the season, *waves hand at the tv* more of this shit, thank you very much’ And the heartbreaking scene at the end is about to happen ‘hey Shanda! Wait what is this shit? whats going on? *starts tearing up* NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO PLEASE NO WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! NOOO SHANDA NO! NOOOOOO STOP HURTING HER! MONSTERS! please be alive baby’ he is now fully teary eyed and just looked at me all heartbroken and went ‘what the fuck’ and then he went outside and called his girls back home to make sure they’re all okay. The life this man lives is an enigma ngl. Didn’t even know he had drag queens that he was this close with in his life

"It was love to me" always gets me. And the fact that Brian doesn't make fun of him or tease him for it. Sighhh.

I know i said I want Emmett and Brian working together. But I really love the fact that Em and Vic are working together…hey, do you think we are gonna be like Deb and Vic when we grow up? OH BROTHER I WORRY FOR YOU.

I love that your brother knows to tip drag queens (y'all tip your local drag queens!) and I love that he has... a group of queens back home to check in on. I AM DYING. Now I want to marry your brother too. How would he feel about being a third in a marriage?

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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lostacelonnie · 8 months

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Whoops i lost track of this one my bad. Discord messaging is so much easier with the notification staying there. Anyways. Hell yeah getting to be not near people you do lnt vibe with is the best love that for you. Ah yeah gulls will just be an asshole about anything so at least they gave warning? Still dont like em though. Australian magpies are probably worse. Thanks! I adore german & it just. Having very specific words for things. So im excited to dig into that. Oh i didnt know that but honestly not surprised by it. Another piece of history from nazi germany to add to stuff i know. History was never my like. Favorite subject but i try to study it where i can. Its important. Mobile gave me bronya finally so its goin well & seele is coming back in 1.4 so maybe ill be able to get her & bronya both. Though i find it weird that we're heading back to belobog already? I havent even finished the next story part yet though. I havent used fire trailblazer much yet but will when i have more of her eidolons. Theyre both real fun rcg was short so i beat it quick still workin on dredge. Ill let you know how rain world goes for sure. Oh very nice. I finally did mine into purple & it looks really good im gonna keep up on it i think. Ive been breaking off from both to play other stuff but 4.1 fontaine is still fun to explore i love it. Cant wait for furina to drop. Oh shit history exam i hope that went well for you.i will say bronya is nice to have especially with kafka. Give her a turn boost to get her follow up action back works real nice. Damn that is. So much stuff but sounds so worth it. For all the merch & the choker who doesnt love a good choker

OH ITS OK IT APPEARS THAT SO HAVE I. AHHH. IM SORRY. schools been a Lot lately [7 tests this week......] and im going to alicante next week so its probably not gonna get easier for me to respond soon..... and oh yeah it totally is. i ❤ discord cos i can at least give ppl Signs Of Life instead of silence. anyways. THANK YOU!! ive been having a lot of fun with the new group lately its great. and yeah they really are ajdkfkjfj im Thankful for the warning yeah. and also that not even a single gull tried to steal my food. ooh tell me ab it i havent heard any australian magpie horror stories...... and yeah as i said. german is Such a nice language, i esp agree with the words bc theyre just. Great. love em. but yeah didnt have much luck in my previous years of learning it. and oh well the more you know!! honestly it was never MY favorite either bc, even tho ive always found it interesting, i just. could never remember anything. but honestly now that im on hist-geo its really growing on me ahdjfkkgj. probably also because i have a cool teacher. AND HEY CONGRATS ON THE BRONYA and good luck with getting seele!!! i have Not opened star rail even once recently [<- was only playing the game to get wolfie and kafka] so idrk whats been happening. have fun tho!! fire trailblazer IS good with her eidolons but tbh i just never had the energy to build her. and ah epic!!!!!! and yes please do keep me updated if you end up playing rain world!!!!!! its sooooo good its so good. AND AHHH NICE!!!! i want to do mine purple someday but i have a pretty dark natural hair color so id have to bleach it and i dont really Wanna Do That yet. and fair ahsjfkfk ive actually been playing genshin More recently, at least when i have time. which is not often. IM ALSO SO SO SO EXCITED FOR FURINA I HAVE LIKE 170 WISHES SAVED ALREADY................... anyway!!! it did actually!!!! but were doing pretty easy material rn so well see how it goes in the future ajdjhfjg....... it is what it is. and ah yeah that does sound like a pretty good team actually...... and yeah it def was!!!!! havent gotten a chance to wear the choker out yet [<- scared of old ladies on the bus] nut im Going To

#apologies if this is short!!!! i havent gotten a moment to relax since i woke up at 6am and its almost 9pm #hell world but we ball #pen pals

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x3rrorx · 8 months

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Ok I have been reading your blog for awhile and you absolutely have every right to defend yourself and show these girls true colors. You do you and if people don’t like it then you don’t have to read it. It’s your life and story to tell. Everyone knows that these girls and their friends are toxic and want to keep adding fuel to the fire. You were sent and given information that you have every right to share. It is up to you to post it or not. I love to read some of the tea that is being said. I fell like C wanted her 15 minutes of fame and she got that. Bad part is that she had to almost ruin someone’s life in order to do that. I’m sorry for all the crap you have gone through because of their actions. C is old news and needs to shoo fly shoo. If that is her motive to get back at someone, especially her ex situation, then she needs to grow up fast. She may be 30 or near 30, who knows, but acts like a hurt teenager. Causing drama and making fans uncomfortable. Yes C we know you have a voice and you have every right to express your experience, but I’m sorry keep it behind closed doors. It’s between you and him and leave it at that right? People are always going to be curious and let them I think. C made this public and if any person feels comfortable talking to someone else who may have some insight on the situation then we want their opinion. Trust me I love yours because they are honest and to the point. I know I wouldn’t have the guts to take these girls on and I am proud that you are and you’re standing your ground! You’re a fighter girl keep fighting. Don’t stop being you! As for the other girls learn that actions have consequences and you are going to get your just desserts someway and somehow. Just remember that just because you are friends with someone doesn’t mean they have your back. It’s like the saying goes keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Hope this brings some joy to your day.

And I agree that she has every right to express her experience, and I have stated it so many times. But there’s no need to do it again 3 years later when no one was every talk about her. No one really even knew about her. And the way she did it… that was what is the main issue and always has been.

I also don’t expect or want any sympathy from anyone. I truly don’t. I have also stated this before that I made my bed when I chose to dig into it and speak upon it. I never claimed to be innocent from that. But again, how far she goes isn’t okay. That group just digs and pushed and spins everything. We have ALL seen it happen. And that’s why I keep speaking on it with screenshots to just about everything said. They say one thing and then something different or they’ll be hypocritical about things or they will take something said and then spin it to something different. And people who don’t see the other side just take her word for it. That’s why I come with screenshots to just about everything. I also don’t sit here and delete tweets or posts because I’m not hiding what I’ve said. I say it with my damn chest. They say shit then delete and hide and go private when they get called out on it. Rather than accepting that hey… maybe you’re actually fucking wrong.

But they don’t want to realize that they are the problem. I can at least admit to shit. I chose to speak on it. Did I have to? Nope. So that’s why I’m not bothered that people dislike or disagree with the blog or the way I went about it. The only people I’m bothered with are the mean girls who feel they need drag my name with a twisted version of things or a complete utter lie.

I do appreciate the people who come to me and say they don’t agree with how I’ve done this but also don’t wish Ill on me and don’t drag my name with false bullshit. I’m not bitter with people who dislike or disagree, everyone has a right to their opinions. I just won’t stand for the assholes.

I also greatly appreciate people who leave messages like this 🖤

So thank you 👑

2 notes · View notes

hornime · 3 years

Text

watch and learn | iwaizumi hajime x f!reader x team japan

there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.

warnings: 18+, timeskip!everyone, BIG MANGA SPOILERS BASICALLY, exhibitionism, voyeurism, orgasm denial

w/c: 3.1k

a/n: now i don’t know if iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer learned about female orgasms when he was studying sports science at irvine BUT he def knows how to show a girl a good time which is reason enough for me to write this. also, i read this article to prep for this piece and it was super enlightening, so i do recommend giving it a read if you’re interested!

in the middle of his morning run, iwaizumi slowed momentarily to check the repetitive buzzing of this phone, curious as to who was messaging him this early. when he’d left the apartment, you were sleeping, and you had the tendency to still be sleeping by the time he returned, so who else could it be?

he unlocked his phone, quickly finding the source of the notifications: the team japan group chat.

[06:43 AM] miya: hey @iwaizumi—you know stuff abt the human body right?

[06:43 AM] miya: cus like you studied it in college and shit??

iwaizumi rolled his eyes. i spent four years in america to earn my degree, came back home to support my country’s olympic team, and dealt with the biggest idiots of volleyball, only to get treated like this?

[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: yes, miya. i took many courses on the human body. in fact that’s the purpose of my job. to know the human body. because i am a fucking athletic trainer.

[06:44 AM] miya: okay okay i get it. dumb question

[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: why? is something up? you need help or anything?

[06:44 AM] miya: uhhh kinda

[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata i’m not fucking asking this

[06:44 AM] bokuto: bro just do it

[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata @hinata @hinata

iwaizumi cocked an eyebrow. what the hell are they going on about?

[06:45 AM] iwaizumi: so am i needed or...

[06:45 AM] hinata: YES

[06:45 AM] hinata: we had a question

[06:46 AM] sakusa: by “we” he means him, miya, and bokuto

[06:46 AM] suna: yeah don’t bring us into this

[06:46 AM] hinata: don’t listen to them! both suna and sakusa wanna know too

[06:46 AM] iwaizumi: okay. what’s up

[06:47 AM] hinata: we wanted to know how to make a girl cum

he chuckled in disbelief.

[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: you’re telling me that you guys are in your mid-20s, literal olympic athletes, and you don’t know how to make a girl cum

[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: have you never done it before??

[06:47 AM] miya: NO

[06:47 AM] miya: FOR THE RECORD IVE MADE MANY GIRLS CUM

[06:48 AM] bokuto: ME TOO

[06:48 AM] bokuto: i think

he laughed out loud, briefly startling another runner on the sidewalk.

[06:48 AM] iwaizumi: you guys are unbelievable

[06:48 AM] hinata: i mean she says she finished but idk what i did to make that happen

[06:48 AM] bokuto: ^^

[06:48 AM] hinata: so like i wanna know how to actually do it

[06:48 AM] suna: actually im kinda interested in this too

[06:48 AM] aran: i pray for your future girlfriends. this is painful to see. im out

[06:48 AM] kageyama: i’m with aran on this one. you guys are dumb

[06:48 AM] hinata: shut up. you suck.

[06:48 AM] miya: cmon iwaizumi, help a guy out

[06:48 AM] sakusa: it wouldnt hurt for you to give us some pointers at least

iwaizumi sighed.

[06:49 AM] iwaizumi: @miya @hinata @bokuto @suna @sakusa meet in the locker room after practice. ill give you guys a lesson in the art of pleasing a woman

to teach effectively, he needed a volunteer, though he was sure you wouldn’t need much convincing. you’d always loved the attention, and the biceps, of the pro athletes. he spun on his heel and jogged home.

you woke up to the sound of your apartment door opening, your boyfriend creeping inside, forehead damp with sweat.

“hey,” you said quietly, making your way towards him.

“hey, baby. sorry for waking you up, i was trying to be quiet.”

you giggled sleepily. “s’okay, haji. you spoil me too much anyway, always letting me sleep in for hours while you’re off doing god knows what.”

at that, his eyes crinkled in amusement, and as you tried to step into a hug, he shuffled back. “woah there, baby. i gotta shower, ‘m all gross from my run. and then,” he gave you a peculiar look that you couldn’t quite place, “i got a proposition for you.”

after his shower, he waltzed out of the bathroom, steam wafting out from behind the door. his tanned body made you feel things you definitely shouldn’t be barely an hour after the sun’s risen, and you reached out to massage the tension in his shoulders. “so, what’s your proposition?”

“well,” he hesitated. “it’s a bit... unconventional. the team asked me to show them how to make a girl cum,” he took in your intrigued expression. “and it’d be a lot easier to explain if i had someone to do a live demonstration with. so,” his eyes flicked up to you. “that’s where you’d come in.”

“a... live demonstration? like you’re gonna make me cum in front of them?”

“yeah, essentially.” he gave you a devilish grin. “you want that, baby? wanna show those boys how a real man treats a gorgeous woman like you?”

you rubbed your thighs at his words. “yeah,” you purred. “i do. wanna show them how good you are to me.”

and that’s how you found yourself nestled between iwaizumi’s muscled thighs, back pressed against his chest, completely naked, with five of japan’s best volleyball players staring at your body in awe.

practically an expert in his field, iwaizumi knew the human body inside and out. this had many benefits; of course it allowed him to catapult up the ranks and work with the country’s best athletes to keep them at the top of their game, but it also had a unique side effect: an overwhelming vault of knowledge on how to make a woman feel good anywhere.

you’d seen the proof firsthand; he knew exactly where to push, prod, stroke, and tease to have you cumming in seconds, over and over, as many times as you wanted. he was amazing, and you were well-aware just how lucky you were to have such a talented man in the sheets.

“oi,” iwaizumi snapped his fingers, drawing each of the players’ eyes away from your glistening cunt. “pay attention. i know more than anybody that she’s hot as fuck, but you gotta listen to what i’m saying or else there’s no point to this.”

he lightly pressed his lips against your collarbone, slowly tracing them against your jaw, the contact making you squirm. “if you wanna make a girl cum, first thing you gotta do is make her comfortable. if she’s worried about how she looks or sounds or smells she’s gonna be too stressed to let go.” he moved his hands to grope your tits, his calloused fingers brushing over your hardening nipples. “so reassure her, tell her how irresistible she is, how pretty her moans are, how tasty her pussy is. shit like that. the sexier she feels the better it’ll be.”

he leaned into you, whispering into your ear. “feeling good, baby? we can stop whenever.”

you nodded weakly, afraid to open your mouth, barely holding in your whines as his palms worked wonders on your chest and stomach, sending shocks of heat wherever they touched.

you craned your neck up to observe the men before you. atsumu was flushed red, wringing his hands as if he was worried they’d do something embarrassing if he didn’t keep them occupied. hinata was bouncing his leg up and down, wiping his palms on his shorts as he took in the plushness of your thighs. bokuto was basically drooling, greedily tracing your soft curves with his eyes. suna maintained his indifferent expression, but the reddening tips of his ears showed that he was a lot more hot and bothered than he let on. sakusa stood quietly to the side, leaning against the wall, mask tucked under his chin as if he’d just realized how much the temperature had gone up in the room.

there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.

"make sure to try different things; there’s multiple ways to make a woman cum. only like a quarter of women experience orgasms just from penetration,” someone made a sound of shock. “yes, the number is that small, bokuto.”

his fingertip slowly trailed past your belly button, dipping into the mess between your thighs, causing you to slightly arch your back into the solid chest supporting you. “foreplay with the clit is your best bet; even stupid fucks like you probably wouldn’t screw it up too bad.”

hinata opened his mouth to speak, but iwaizumi anticipated his question and continued.

“i know you’re wondering where the clit is. it’s around here, under this hood of skin,” he slid his digit between your labia. “s’not gonna come with a label so you gotta explore a little bit. i know where hers is like the back of my hand, but for you guys, with your girls, you’re gonna have to move your fingers around. slowly. and pay attention to her expressions.” he began to rub in a circular motion around your clit, causing you to make small whimpers of pleasure and shift your hips to meet his movements.

“if she clenches up or twitches when you feel a certain spot, like this,” your legs flexed as he increased the pressure, “that’s the clit. be kind, it’s not a volleyball. be gentle n’ make small circles, whether it’s with your fingers or your tongue.”

he thought for a second. “speaking of which, oral’s important. very important. most women cum when they’ve been eaten out, so use your mouths for something more useful than just dirty talk. suck on the clit, maybe tongue-fuck her a ‘lil, but your main focus should always be the clit.”

he removed his hands from your sopping pussy, and you made a pathetic noise of frustration. “’m sorry, baby,” he muttered seductively in your ear. “don’t wanna have you finishing too early. lesson’s barely started.”

he turned his attention back to your audience, his lustful tone being replaced by a more instructional one. “there’s other places that’ll help a woman orgasm, too: her nipples, her neck, her ears—”

“her ears?” sakusa questioned. he blushed profusely as everyone turned to look at him, surprised that he’d opened his mouth. “what? we were all thinking it.”

“s’a valid question,” iwaizumi said. “yeah, you can lick ‘em if they’re sensitive. hers are.” as if to prove his statement, he licked a stripe on the shell of you ear, making you wiggle helplessly at the stimulation. “‘n leave kisses everywhere else. feels good for them just like it does for us.” he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and forcing your movements to stop as he traced patterns with his tongue all around your neck.

“something you should know about an orgasm is that it’s something called a positive feedback loop.” he looked up and was met with five blank stares. shouldn’t have expected anything from these dumb jocks, he lamented. “basically that means that, once you start releasing sexual tension, things will feel better and better until you climax.”

“oh!” atsumu chirped. “like how my sets get better and better throughout a game.”

“no, not really,” he quipped. “your sets suck throughout.” atsumu frowned at that.

iwaizumi exhaled exasperatedly. “the general idea is that the body gets more and more sensitive, muscle contractions become more and more frequent, and touches feel more and more stimulating until you cum. all right?”

they all made noises of understanding except for bokuto and hinata, whose eyes had glazed over at the first mention of an academic term. whatever, iwaizumi thought. they’ll get it through example.

"don’t worry about it too much if you don’t get it, that’s just an orgasm on paper. in practice, though, this is the crucial step: listen to her. she knows what feels good. never forget that you’re just an idiot with a cock.” he took a breath, gathering his thoughts before proceeding with his lecture.

“if she tells you to slow down, you slow down. if she tells you to go harder, you go harder. if she tells you to keep doing what you’re doing, you...”

“keep doing what you’re doing”, they all chimed in at staggered times.

“that’s right. don’t go faster or else you’ll mess up the rhythm and she won’t cum. and you wanna make her cum, don’t you?”

they nodded simultaneously.

“so if you keep up the tempo and force that feels good to her, you’ll be fine. questions?”

suna spoke up. “what about,” he choked on the word. “penetration?”

hinata hummed in agreement and bokuto jumped in. “yeah, what if i wanna make her cum on my cock?”

iwaizumi made a weird face. “that’s some pretty advanced stuff, but i guess i can go over it. when you try it, though, you have to be patient. with both of your bodies. s’not rocket science but s’not always easy. also it depends on the woman but sometimes she physically won’t be able to finish from penetration alone. just make sure you’re communicating.”

his swirled two fingers over your hole before shoving them in, your wetness making it easy for him to thrust in and out as your entrance stretched to accommodate him. “f—fuck!” your eyes flew open at the intrusion and you body lurched forward, but you were held back by his strong forearm. “ohmygod, oh my g—ah! feels s’good haji, s’good!”

“i know, baby, i know. you’re taking it so well.” he turned his attention back to the men, each of who were gulping heavily. if that didn’t signal to you that they were evidently affected by your moans, the way they shifted in their workout shorts did.

“boys, focus.” he curled his fingertips, brushing at the spongy spot at the top of your walls, ripping a pleasured wail from your throat and causing tears to prick at your eyelashes. “when you’re fingering her, you’ll feel an area inside that’s a bit soft and squishy. that’s the g-spot.”

you trembled in his arms as he mercilessly struck the same place over and over again with his fingers. “when you’re fucking her, try to keep the pressure building there, but it’ll be harder to make her finish since you can’t see what you’re doing.”

your breath hitched as iwaizumi’s incessant movements brought your body tantalizingly close to your release. he suddenly stopped and you almost sobbed in disappointment, until he plunged his fingers impossibly deeper.

a guttural scream of ecstasy came from within you, and your eyes rolled back as he began playing with another part of you, your body putty in his hands. “hngh, haji, ah! so good, s’good...” you threw your hands back around his neck, nails digging into the skin as you desperately tried to keep yourself grounded. your soft moans filled the air.

“stop clenching,” he hissed. “can barely move my hand.” you tried to relax but failed miserably as the tips of his fingers grazed your cervix.

“holy fuck,” suna muttered. “you’re a god.”

“she sounds so pretty,” atsumu said in amazement.

“i wanna make a girl feel good like that, too!” bokuto sulked.

“you can do it, bokuto!” hinata hit him on the arm. “just listen to iwaizumi. clearly he knows what he’s talking about.”

their eyes refocused on your figure, writhing in pleasure, prompting white hot waves of arousal to pool in their stomachs.

“yeah,” sakusa said. “clearly.”

“stop talking,” iwaizumi ordered. “and listen. beyond the g-spot is the cervix, which is basically the end of the vagina. if you’re long enough,” he briefly scanned each of their faces, “which i’m sure you are, you’ll be able to reach it if you bottom out.”

“haji—hajime, please.” the stimulation was coming absolutely unbearable, and you could tell he was sadistically holding you at the edge, refusing to give you the satisfaction of finishing. “lemme cum, please. please lemme cum, please, please, i can’t—i can’t take it ‘nymore!”

“what was that? you can’t take it anymore? gonna cum?” you helplessly bobbed your head up and down, hoping that he’d give you permission. “well,” he growled, “we can’t have that happening, can we?”

he abruptly halted his thrusts, pulling his fingers out of you with an embarrassing squelch and popping them into his mouth. pearly tears rolled down your cheeks as you grieved the loss of contact and relief.

your viewers looked on in horror, feeling immense sympathy for you; you just looked so dejected from being denied yet another orgasm.

“why didn’t you—why didn’t you let her cum?” bokuto asked.

“why do you think?” iwaizumi snapped. “don’t want you guys to see her when she does. that’s for me, and only me.”

“oh, okay,” he responded, disgruntlement clear in his voice.

iwaizumi’s glare could cut glass, it was so sharp. the possessiveness that had enveloped his mind made him hyperfocus on just one thought: being alone with you. “so, any other questions? if not, we’re done here.”

you pouted at that, not wanting the demonstration to be over. “but haji,” you mumbled into his collarbone. “i di’nt get to cum. and i wanna.” you looked up at him, eyes wide with want. “please make me cum.”

iwaizumi sent a harsh glance to the players that nonverbally communicated his message loud and clear: get out. they shuffled awkwardly out of the locker room due to the hardness between their legs that they would most definitely need to deal with soon.

your boyfriend turned his attention back to you. “’m sorry, i know i had to deny you a bunch of times. i just really hated the idea of anyone but me seeing the cute way you look when you cum.”

you made a small noise of acknowledgement and a little whisper of it’s okay, haji. he looked down, sensing the way your poor, desperate cunt was pulsing around nothing, the erotic sight injecting him with the pure need to ravage you.

he shifted his head to kiss you passionately. “why don’t i make it up to you?” he breathed between your parted lips before picking you up by the backs of your thighs, forcing you to lock your ankles around his waist.

he delicately situated you onto one of the recovery beds at the back of the room, before murmuring something that made your pussy throb in anticipation: “i’ll make you cum whichever way you want, however many times you want, all right? all you gotta do is lay back and take it.”

#kinky.inky #haikyū!!#haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi x reader #atsumu smut #hinata smut #bokuto smut #suna smut #sakusa smut #iwaizumi #sakusa #bokuto #hinata #suna #atsumu

4K notes · View notes

newronantic · 3 years

Text

HAIKYUU!! FICS

so this is mostly gonna be for myself to keep track of my favorite fics i’ve read, but hey if anyone else wants to check some of these out then thats great

MHA one is up!!

ill keep updating this as i read more, feel free to send me suggestions!

KageHina

plain as day - emleewrites

In which Hinata has spent the better part of the last twenty years putting his heart and soul into volleyball, hoping to be recognised, to be noticed. And yet he spends all these years also thinking of himself as rather plain, beyond his lack of height and bright hair, and not really noticeable at all.

In Transit - Mysecretfanmoments

Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn't mean anything--probably. Maybe.

I like the way your clothes smell - Mysecretfanmoments

Power outages, ghost stories, and the presence of a certain orange-haired boy lead to bad decision-making on Tobio's part. He'd planned to keep his crush a secret; the universe has other plans.

Chaotic Neutral - akaraka

Who's this Kageyama person on twitter and is he gay?

1: Anonymous: see title

2: Anonymous: curry king

3: Anonymous >> 1: It's the curry king, obviously. Have you been using his memes this whole time without knowing who he was?

4: Anonymous: 1) Hinata Shouyou's boyfriend 2) See above

jellyfish - mysterytwin

At the beginning of his last year at Karasuno High School, Hinata Shouyou starts a list and calls it THINGS TO DO BEFORE GRADUATION, all with high hopes that he’ll be able to complete it before his time runs out.

TsukkiYama

Try This On For Size - CloudMonsta

A lot changed for Yamaguchi Tadashi over the course of high school. He started trying on dresses, for one.

The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split (Capitalization Necessary) - WyYeuw

"But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team.

No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.”

Yamaguchi confesses. Tsukishima fucks up—like, really fucks up. The volleyball club notices and loses a week’s worth of practice.

IwaOi

Terrarium - sausaged

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

They Say it Rain Diamonds on Jupiter - exsao

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

bait and switch - Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody

Oikawa's university volleyball team knows he's in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school. They imagine a sweet-faced girl that matches his sarcasm with patience. They are so incredibly wrong.

my heart is where it’s always been - foreverautumn

Iwaizumi places his phone down carefully.

Oikawa. Pining after someone. There’s no way.

(Iwaizumi knows he shouldn’t care who Oikawa might have feelings for, but within the span of three days, it’s somehow the only thing he can think about.)

KuroKen

Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life - todxrxki

Kuroo Tetsurou runs a private Twitter account where he's constantly tweeting about how desperately in love he is with Kozume Kenma. Little does he know that Kenma sees all the tweets and keeps referencing the account in an attempt to get Kuroo to confess to him. / Or, five times Kuroo didn't notice Kenma hinting about his private Twitter account, and one time he finally did.

the things that get caught in the valves of his heart - ghostpot

Emotional competency is not exactly Kuroo's strong suit. Kenma finds it quite amusing.

Accidentally In Love - todxrxki

Kuroo frowns, but then slowly, the corners of his mouth lift up into a smirk. "Well, if it's so unbelievable, why don't we give it a try?"

Kenma glances up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Let's do the 36 questions to fall in love," Kuroo says, still smirking stupidly. "If we don't fall in love, then you're right, it's bullshit. But if we do somehow..." Kuroo waggles his eyebrows. "Then I win." / Kuroo decides he and Kenma should do the 36 questions to fall in love as a joke, but they both start to realize they might actually be in love already.

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) - cosmogony

TW: major character death

Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives

even if you’re ahead for a bit, i will catch up - ghostpot

Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around.

you’re the brake lines failing (as my car swerves off the freeway) - ghostpot

Kenma thinks that Kuroo looks ugly with his head bent against the arm of the couch like that. Then Kenma thinks that he wants to marry him, and is promptly thrown into the 5 stages of grief.

teach me the way home - icespyders

“Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —

because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long

and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station

when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”

Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.

in this universe - crossbelladonna

Living with Kuroo is sometimes, just like this. It always feels surreal like he's living half a world and a lot of things rush by too quickly. Kenma feels like he'd watched him come and go in a blink, eyes wide and wordless as the shared space went snug in an instant and far larger in the next.

All this, and a glass of water.

Beginning’s End - todxrxki

Somehow over the course of Kenma's lifetime, he’s never really had an opportunity to miss Kuroo. He’s always been there. Even when they went to different schools, Kuroo would meet him afterwards so they could walk home together, shoulders brushing, Kuroo occasionally taking the opportunity to guide him when his nose was buried in the newest video game. The thought of Kuroo not being there anymore is uncomfortable, to say the least. / Kozume Kenma's third year and the changes the year brings in himself and his relationship with Kuroo Tetsurou.

All I Want for Christmas is You - todxrxki

“Kuro,” he says. “You’re a single guy.”

“Yeah, great, thanks for pointing that out.”

“And my parents already know you, plus they already know you like guys or whatever so… what if you pretended to be my date for Christmas dinner?” / In which Kenma recruits his housemate and best friend Kuroo to be his fake date for Christmas.

BokuAka

just to miss the sun - rosevtea

Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

Operation BokuAka - kazzydolyn

After spending two whole years watching Bokuto and Akaashi pine for one another, the rest of the Fukuroudani Volleyball Club has had enough. When everyone meets up for a reunion dinner, the team decides to play matchmaker and finally get the two of them together. Unfortunately, their plan starts to fall apart when they discover that Akaashi is already dating someone. And apparently so is Bokuto. What a strange coincidence.

bitter - silvercistern

He accepted his classmate's chocolates gracefully, then declared his lack of interest with as much dignity as he could muster. She deserved the courtesy. At least she'd acknowledged that Valentine's Day was all about her, and not about him in the slightest.

Because if any of these girls had taken the time to actually get to know him, they’d quickly realize something even more important than his lack of interest in girls.

And that was that Akaashi hated sweets.

In Another Life - LittleLuxray

TW: major character death

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

120% yes - pissedofsandwich

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in reply to @bokkun_official

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Kissing Ace - karasunovolleygays

It happens right after training camp.

Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way.

But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.

daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) - gabstar

Akaashi Keiji is in love. Bokuto Koutarou is a star. Everyone on Fukurodani has a gambling problem.

SakuAtsu

The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets - isaksara (syailendra)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

A Liar’s Truth - internetpistol

In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?

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